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hamletteprinceofdenmark · 7 months

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Transcript of Shelby's Video:

CW: Abuse

:readmore:

Hello! I don't know if you can even hear it, I put on, like, light jazz in the background because it seemed awkward being quiet, but I don't think you can hear it, so I'm just gonna turn it off. Um, hello! Um, welcome! We are in emote only because I'm just gonna be talking today, and then I'm gonna go! I'm gonna go!

Um, yeah, it was very, very low. There's, there's no need. I just, it felt weird leaving you in silence, but I'm here, so — Hello! Um, I want to talk about something today that, um, very nervous. I feel sweaty. I had a sweater on, I had to take it off. Um, I'm gonna try and just, I wrote down pretty much everything I think that I want to say to keep track of, sort of all the points that I want to make sure I don't forget anything. So I will be reading from something, um, a good portion of the time, but not 100 percent of the time. Um, and I just wanted to make sure I got all of my thoughts down in words ahead of time. I'm, I really like writing down my thoughts. So I did that.

Um, oh, hold on. Can I turn ads off? I think that maybe we turn ads off today. How do I make that happen for just today? Um. Shoulda had that already. I shoulda had that already. I actually don't even know how to make that happen. You know what? That's just gonna have to be that way. I'm so sorry.

Um. I'm all good. Um, yeah, okay. Today's just gonna be talking. Uh, I'm just gonna start reading from what I wrote, and go from there.

I have a really big coffee, I'm gonna take a swig. And I have my water, and I'm gonna take a swig of that.

I have always liked telling my different experiences that I've had, um, in dating because it feels important to me to share what I've learned and maybe help other people to not make the same mistakes that I have before. I'm 30. I've dated a lot. I've gone on a lot of dates. I keep trying, um, and it's unfortunate that a lot of my dating history, uh, there were a lot of bad people that tried to manipulate or control me, um, but that's not to say that every person that I've dated has treated me poorly. Um, some people just weren't the right people.

Um, and speaking out about my bad experiences has never felt as important as it does right now because silence has always brought me peace. And this time it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace. It's only keeping somebody else's peace. Um, and I never thought that I could be the kind of person to end up in a situation like I did. I'd never thought that could happen to me.

And so for me, this is important because it could help anybody else see the signs sooner than I did. Um, or hopefully avoid a similar situation entirely. Because the, the truth is it was dangerous. Um, there were a lot of things wrong in this relationship that, um, I endured some pretty terrible treatment. Um, and I might touch on some things here and there about that. But, um, if I feel like it's important to the overall context. But what I want to stay focused on is this specific issue, um, and the things that happened matter-of-factly and the things that people saw and witnessed in our circle.

Um, it took me 10 months after to heal. And I spoke with multiple therapists and tried different forms of therapy. Um, I tried somatic therapy. That one was actually really good for me. Um, because that one actually helped me release a lot of, um, built up anger I was having over the last year. Um, but the anger that I was feeling was for myself because, um, I felt like I should have known better.

I felt so stupid at myself for, um, sort of just staying through all of this. Um, and I shared my story with a lot of friends after I started talking to therapists and I was like "So, this thing happened ... and I wasn't really sure ... It just seems weird now to me looking back," and all of them told me exactly what was happening in the words that I was too afraid to use.

Um, and I was being hurt in my last relationship. And it took me all of that time to see it through that lens. Um, I even posted an anonymous story to Reddit that I have now deleted with an anonymous account. But in posting that, I found a dozen other stories that were exactly like mine, exactly the same way. Um, and all of the comments said exactly the same thing.

Um, and I was so mad at myself because I was lying to, um, at a certain point to protect this person, because I knew that if I told my friends the truth, it'd make him look really bad. Um, I didn't think that I would cry and I practiced saying all of this and I didn't cry, but it's easier to practice it when no one is listening.

Um, but he always cared more about how it looked and that was really important, not what was true. Um, and it was really subtle. When I hear about, um, when I hear about physical abuse, I think of hitting. I think of hitting and punching, um, so I thought that this wasn't violent enough, um, to be abuse. Uh, I thought that it was just like a constant accident that he kept hurting me. Um, but he's not hitting me and it didn't start as something that he did to hurt me.

Uh, he had this habit of biting, which is so weird to me now, but he said that he had had this habit since he was a kid. And even his mom said that that was true. And he said it was just affectionate and that that might have been — I mean, I think that that might have been true, maybe, at the start, but I also feel that I have good reason to believe that every part of it was a lie, but that's just my personal opinion, um, and I had no problem with just biting, that isn't even the most uncommon thing, um, but he did mention something early that I should have taken as a red flag, um, and he wanted to make sure that I was okay with him biting me because he didn't want me to come back later and say that he abused me. Which I thought was really weird considering he had never hurt me before. And so why would I call it abuse? And why was he thinking about that? And I thought he was being sweet, checking on me to make sure that I was still comfortable. Um, but of course I was because he hadn't hurt me. And why would I think he ever would?

Um, and then he did, for the first time, by accident, uh, and I don't specifically remember the actual first time that he bit me too hard by accident, because I didn't think that it would be significant, um, I thought that it would only happen once, and he started biting me more and more over a period of time, sort of throughout the whole relationship, and accidents of him biting too hard and really hurting me happened more and more frequently, um, but he always seemed genuinely sorry, and he decided that he didn't want to keep accidentally hurting me, um, so we were gonna use a safe word, um, so he could learn where my limit was, where my pain tolerance ended.

Uh, and saying that out loud now doesn't sound — Like, that's not very sound logic. Um, but at the time, I thought he cared about not hurting me. But in reality, it's like, why are you biting so hard? And why do you have to bite so hard? And it shouldn't be that hard of a problem to stop. Um, that shouldn't be that hard.

And he disguised it as this really quirky part of our relationship and was so comfortable sharing it with his friends to the point that he would do it in front of them. He thought it was this really funny story to tell and a good bit to take my arm and bite me in front of everybody until I literally shout in pain. Um, and then I have to laugh it off because I'm so embarrassed and I don't want to cause a scene in front of all of our friends and I'm sure everyone was a little bit uncomfortable, but as long as I was saying that it was fine, nobody really felt like they needed to be concerned and that's not anybody's fault because I was lying. I was lying and it wasn't fine because I would go home later and I'd tell him how uncomfortable I was. How much I didn't like being hurt all the time and I needed him to really stop biting so hard. I didn't like it and I tried telling him over and over again because he wasn't actually trying at all to not hurt me, um, but he said he would try, at first, and then he started saying things like it was my pain tolerance that was too low, or I'm exaggerating how much it actually hurts. He's not even biting that hard. I'm, I'm being dramatic. Um, but his biting escalated to a point where I was covered in bruises all over my arms and they hurt and he would poke at them for fun. And he even felt so comfortable showing off my bruises that he had caused to our friends because he would bite me so hard by accident, "by accident." He would even joke that it looked like he abused me. Um, and eventually he did acknowledge how bad it looked that I was covered in bruises all the time. So he stopped, um, biting my arms as often. And he started biting my legs instead. Um, and it was in the last couple of months of the relationship that every time he bit me, it was until I needed to use this safe word. Um, it had become his benchmark for when to stop.

Only once I was definitely hurt, um, which meant I was being hurt every single day, um, multiple times a day, uh, for all of the days that we spent together in person. And when I asked him to stop again, this time he said, "This is who he is. He isn't going to change." Those were his words. And I remember a lot of, specifically his words about certain things, especially at the end.

Um, because I'm good at remembering words and especially his wording. I became really good at remembering because he was constantly contradicting himself. And I would notice, but most of the time it wasn't worth picking a fight over. And — But he would fight me on it sometimes 'cause I would po- I would point it out and, uh, he would insist that he had never said the thing that he said, he definitely did say. And then he would say something like, "How are you so sure you're remembering correctly? Why are you always right?" Um, and he definitely said the things that I heard him say and other people heard him say.

So, he had, now at this point, weaponized the safe word and was using it to ensure that I was hurt and on a constant basis. And he wasn't sorry anymore. Um, I couldn't even tell you the last time he had apologized for doing it anymore because now sometimes he would bite me and I would yell out the safe word because it hurts so bad and he'd clamp down even harder and, just for a second, just for good measure, before letting go and sometimes I'd say the safe word and he'd grind his teeth down on my skin and sometimes he'd smile after, um, like a gloating grin?

And during this time I was filled with so much anxiety all the time that I was constantly nauseous. Gagging daily, um, on occasion throwing up because of the pit that was in my stomach. I never told him about that though. I was going and running away quietly to throw up in the toilet and rejoin our group of friends.

Um, but I felt so unwanted and ignored. Um, and I would tell him that and then he would reassure me that he wanted to be together and he loved me. He loved me more than I loved him, even. He would always insist that that was true, like the, "I love you." "I love you more," but he was like, really serious about it.

Um, and looking back, I do believe that the way I was swept off my feet at the beginning of this relationship was 100 percent love bombing. Um, and we were friends for a time. Um, at least people would have thought that, actually, but I use the word friend very loosely because, um, we had actually never spoke to each other outside of group chats we were in together when, like a handful of times throughout the, the whole time that we knew each other, um, but did not talk to each other.

So I wouldn't have even called him my friend until he found out I was single, waited a few weeks to reach out, and then we started a friendship and then that friendship turned romantic and then he made these huge romantic gestures. He wrote me the most beautiful love letter that I had ever read. Um, he called me his soulmate. He talked about "forever" one month in. He told me he hadn't been in a relationship in five years. He thought he could never find love again before he met me. He said he wanted someone to grow with. He wanted to be a dad. He had all his names picked out and I didn't have a preference because I — My feeling of it is that the timing is right and with the right person, I could, um, but if that doesn't work out in time or the time, you know, I, I'm not super pressed about it. Um, but I started opening my mind up to the idea with him because it seemed so important to him. And I kept trying to talk to him to figure out where he was, later on, when I could tell things like, were declining.

And, um, now all of a sudden he's telling me he's not sure he wants kids at all. In fact, he has never been attached to the idea of kids. Um, and I told him that isn't what he said before, and he said he's allowed to change his mind. And I'm of the opinion that in a relationship, there are a few things that you are not actually allowed to change your mind without letting your partner know.

I think that kids is one of them. It wasn't even important to me. Um, and I think marriage is one of them, so I brought that up next. And I asked if he still wanted marriage. He said he wanted to marry me. And then he said, now, "I'm not the co-" quote, "I'm not the commitment guy. You know that."

I didn't know that.

Why are you dating me?

In fact, he was telling me the exact opposite every day. Uh, he would tell me he still wanted to be together. He wanted to work on all of the problems. He wanted to, like, he wanted me at the end of everything. He did not want to break up. He made that very clear. And uh, I have though, caught him in lies before, but usually it was small stuff and I, again, I didn't want to, it wasn't anything that ever seemed worth rocking the boat over, uh, which isn't normal for me.

I hate lies. Um, and yet I ended up lying for him. So, uh, but he had lied about big things and he had also been caught lying by his friends numerous times. So this is something that he feels is acceptable to do. And everything reached a breaking point when he was about to leave for an extended period of time.

We were not going to see each other very much, a few days out of every few months, um, and now suddenly he is dumping all of these problems that he has been having feelings about all of this time later. Um, at one point he said he's been feeling this way a couple of months. At another point, he says he's been feeling this way for six months, immediately contradicting him- contradicting himself in the same conversation.

And with no time to do anything about it. I arrived — the one of — Never mind. I'm gonna get to something later, but I literally arrived for three days for this conversation to happen and then leave. Um, my cat just woke up and she's not usually awake right now — Hi, my love. It's really close to her dinner time. I should have fed her early.

Um, so no time to fix any of the problems all the sudden because there are three days before he leaves and he insisted he did not want to break up. He, and so, he was expecting me to have a solution somehow, magically, and I gave a number of solutions that would have a way forward for us to be together, but he refused to make any compromise, um, whatsoever.

And he said that "the relationship was starting to feel like a responsibility," towards the end. Also his words. Um, so it wasn't a responsibility the whole rest of the time to him. And he was at this point, basically flaunting that he would never prioritize me over anything. Um — she's eating my laundry. Please don't cause problems. — Um, and I wasn't even asking for literally even the bare minimum. I was asking for so little and he — I was watching him give exactly what I was needing in the relationship all over the place to anybody else who, who just happened to ask and just wasn't me. So, um, and he also, he was never going to prioritize me over anything that would give him more fame or money.

In fact, he said that himself. He, uh, that was exactly why he was not going to compromise at all for a solution for us to be together. Because he said he wanted to see how much fame and money he could get. Um, and I just thought we wanted to be together. I thought that's what we both wanted, because that's what he was still saying he wanted to.

Um, but then he also admitted to me that he had grown resent- uh, he had grown to resent me. And I have to be thankful that he said that bit out loud. A lot of these bits he said out loud. Because that was the last push that I needed to get myself out.

He had grown resentful, which I also pointed out that there was no reason. Like, there was no reason to feel that way and he admitted that there was no reason for him to feel that way either. I think that it was because I'm someone who can communicate how I feel. Um, but, I don't know, I think, there, I have a lot of theories and reasons why I believe things happen the way that they did and why he was lying all of the time.

Um, but, he was "resentful" of me, was causing me physical harm every day, multiple times a day, despite me telling him over and over again to stop. He wasn't going to change, and he wasn't going to end the relationship. He was going to keep hurting me, and it was possibly going to escalate even further. So I broke up with him.

And I didn't even want to. Um, because I couldn't even see for such a long time after, um, what it really was that had happened. That he had abused me. And, in fact, we left things as, we want to be friends, and he can never imagine not speaking to me again. Um, and then he never spoke to me again. Uh, outside of like a couple of exchanges where I needed to ask for my clothes to be shipped, um, so at least I got my clothes back, uh, I had a whole closet full.

However, uh, he did throw away all of my other things, uh, without saying a word to me about it. Hundreds of dollars of things from my office were trashed without a word, and I didn't block him till ten months later because I wanted an open door still. I really thought I wanted to be his friend. Um, but, uh, I don't feel that way anymore.

I do believe he was bottling up so many emotions, uh, and he would never talk about how he felt. Um, I, I think he even, I mean, he did admit that he felt like he couldn't say it any sooner. Like, there was just no possible way to say how he was feeling sooner than the absolute last possible chance. Like, not even a chance, because three days before he left, that was actually a lie too, also.

He didn't leave for another week after I left. He, he brought me in, had this three day conversation, he was supposed to leave, and then he stayed for another week before he left, uh, with all of the friends that I was also meant to see, but he had lied to me about the dates too.

Um, but I do believe that there, uh, that he was bottling up so many emotions that he was taking it out on me physically. I believe there was a moment where he knew that he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore and instead of just ending it, he tried to push me away any way he knew would hurt me. And he knew all of the ways that would hurt me the most. And he knew he was hurting me. There was no way that he didn't know because of the safe word that he made.

Uh, and he just didn't care. He was hurting me and he didn't care. And even looked like he was enjoying it, sometimes. Um, and I can look back now and I can see all these instances that were really major red flags. Um, there was this one time that he pinned me down and asked me to try my absolute hardest to get him off of me.

And I couldn't do it, obviously. And he said something to make the point that he was so much stronger than me that I wouldn't be able to fight him back. Fight back against what? What do you mean? You don't say shit like that to people? That's insane. Um, and I was also sexually assaulted by my first boyfriend, and he knew that.

Um, he had stopped giving anything to the relationship, and he said that why was because he "was just waiting for things to change on their own." Um, he said he also "didn't have the time or energy anyway to do the things that I was asking for." Um, but then would constantly make any bit of time and energy for anybody and anything but me.

Uh, and he would say he wanted more quality time, so then I would try to arrange things for us to do online because we were, uh, long distance, but then he would complain that he doesn't want to spend all of his time on the computer anymore. Uh, and then we'd be there in person and all he wants to do is stay inside, play games on his computer, watch movies. He doesn't want to go out.

Um, and I'm not saying any of this next part to be mean, um, he lived in filth like I have never seen, and I've seen filth. This was the worst. Uh, he would spill things on the floor and never, literally never clean them up. Uh, he got an ant infestation once, um, and wasn't going to do anything about it because he said, he said "Bugs are normal in British houses," um, so I had to buy Antkiller. And he wouldn't clean his bathroom for months, and months, and months, but would constantly complain about how bad it smelled, and I would tell him, that's mould. It's mould. He complained about being tired all the time too, which I don't know if that was a lie or not, but mould will do that too.

But he would insist that it wasn't, somehow, without having cleaned in months. But it's not mould. Um, when I met him, he was washing his clothes without detergent. Um, just, he wasn't using that at all, and I don't know for how long before I met him. He was just running it with water and then hanging it on his filthy kitchen cabinets.

Um, and I felt bad. I felt bad because I felt like he needed someone to help him learn how to be cleaner. I thought he just didn't know how and I listened to all of the struggles of his upbringing and I was like, "He just doesn't know how. Someone just needs to show him." Um, and then I found out that he said he doesn't clean at all when I'm not there because he just waits for me to get there to do it.

Um, and I only found out about that after we broke up because he said it behind my back. Uh, I was doing all of the cleaning and laundry for him. Also, I had a separate bathroom. I want to make that clear. I wasn't using that bathroom. I had a separate bathroom that I cleaned for myself. I had cleaning supplies. I don't think he even actually knew I had cleaning supplies in there. Um, but I had my own bathroom.

Um, all the, all the cleaning, all the laundry. All of it. I was paying for. All of the, um, like paper towels, like soap, all of that only stayed in the house so long as I was buying it. Um, I would arrive and there would just not be toilet paper in the whole house. There were paper towels instead. And who knows for how long, too.

Um, I was paying for food more than half the time. Uh, because he would often push me into ordering food for us even if I had paid for the last meal, or the meal before that. Um, and I'm of the opinion now that I shouldn't have been paying for any food. Um, none at all, but I wanted to at least, I thought I was being equal by at least doing like a back and forth. Um, but, uh, I ended up paying for food more often than just going back and forth anyway. And he would do this to his friends all the time too. Um, but I was also paying for every plane ticket and the cat sitter, which cost roughly the amount of a plane ticket to England.

Um, and he never offered to help me pay after the couple of times he did come here to visit me because he paid for the flights that we would both take. Um, but that only happened twice at the very beginning. I have actually had a friend tell me that, that this is financial abuse, but I don't know enough about that to say for myself, but I was telling him that I couldn't afford it, uh, all by myself all the time because I was losing money. I was never able to work properly there and he wasn't traveling at all to see me anymore, even though he said he would. Uh, that was like the basis of our entire relationship starting off. Um, so then he agreed to pay for the cat sitter so that it would be basically paying half the cost of my travels. Um, and he did that once, and then never did it again, uh, despite many more months of dating.

Uh, and I was traveling often. Um, I had to. Because he was worried that we weren't spending enough quality time together. And then all of the time that he would have ever extra, he would choose, choose, to not spend it on me because there was an available choice and he chose not to spend it with me. Often.

Um, and I did everything short of just up and move there, which I was willing to do the whole time. And I told him that I was willing to do it and he knew, uh, but he insisted that I don't. He insisted not to. He was planning to move here. That was supposed to happen first.

Um, and then at the end of the relationship, he said, "Maybe things would have been different if I lived there." If I lived there. Uh, like I had said I would the whole time and he insisted I don't. Maybe that could have saved the relationship. Um, and I say all of this because I believe that people like this are genuinely dangerous. I believe he is dangerous.

Um, he was willing to lie. He was willing to do harm to someone he claimed to love more than anyone he has ever loved. Uh, his actions escalated, um, and I don't think that I'll be the last person that he hurts. Uh, and I felt like sharing my story was really important to warn people. Um, I want people to see the signs that I refused to.

I want you to listen to your body. Um, and get out as soon as possible. Tell your friends the truth and let them help you.

Um, I really thought I, I couldn't — Because I had been sexually assaulted in a previous relationship, I just thought I was so much smarter. To never — and I was like, "if someone ever laid their hands on me, I'd leave immediately. It would never happen a second time." But you, you just, it just kind of happened so slowly over time, and got worse, and worse, and worse, until the point where there's no way to deny the fact that he was hurting me and he knew, and, and didn't care.

That's just the kind of thing that I keep repeating to myself when I'm like, "But was it bad enough? What? It wasn't violent enough." Um, but I was being hurt multiple times every single day. Days, and days, and days, and days, for a month at a time in a row, uh, and I'm not even speaking on most, because I did touch on other things, but I am not even speaking on most of the other things that, in my opinion, I do think that there are some things that are across a line that make you a bad person.

I don't think that most people can be defined in a black and white, you're good or you're bad, but I do believe that there is a line that you can cross and only bad people will do the things on the other side of that line. You know what I mean? Um, and I watched a couple of things cross that line. And I just, I, I truly feel now that my soul is so healed.

Um, I am light years beyond him. Uh, this was the last thing that I felt like I needed to do — That's my cat. — Um, before I could move forward and hopefully never talk about him ever again. Outside of maybe my stories that I want to tell about other shitty things he did. Anonymously mixed in with the other stories I still have of shitty things that shitty exes did.

Because I think it's important for us to share our stories and our experiences. I think it's important for all of us to know that we deserve so much better than this. Um, and I think that if people don't want us to talk about the shitty things that they do, then they shouldn't do shitty things. Um, and this just felt so important to share.

I always wanted to share my experiences. I always will. Um, and that's kind of it. That's it. That's the end of everything I prepared. I reserve the right, uh, entirely to change my mind later and tell every story I want to, um, but for now that's all I really have, I feel like, from my soul, I want to speak on. Because I think that this can help other people.

I think that it can help other victims. Um, I have already talked to a number of — I only cry now when I'm talking about my friends! Who also dealt with such shitty things from shitty people. Um, but I'm also so, so grateful for all of my friends who were through, uh, with me through this whole thing. And my friends who also were experiencing similar, similar sorts of situations, um, at the same time, and we kind of went through it together. So, um, I think they are the strongest people in the whole world, and they made me feel like the strongest people in the whole world today. Did I call myself people? I meant person. I feel like the strongest people — I did it again. — I feel like the strongest person. They made me feel so brave. I felt impenetrable today. Um, but I am gonna go now because my friends are coming over and we're immediately gonna go become distracted by watching Love Is Blind. I already watched all of it already and I don't care.

So thank you, um, for listening. Thank you everyone who gifted subs. Um, um, I am going to be taking, uh, the rest of the week off from streaming. I have a video going out on Saturday and I'll be back next week and, uh, you won't hear about any of this again for a while, probably. But, uh, thank you all. I don't really even know what to do now. I think I'm just going to end. Um, go spread love all over the place on Twitch right now and I'll see you guys later. Bye.

Wilbur's response:

In the past week a series of allegations have been made over my conduct from an ex-girlfriend. I want to emphasise that, although I feel it fair to offer my perspective, this person's feelings are completely valid. I have taken my time sharing this statement as I wanted to process and respond respectfully and with the hope to gain a deeper understanding for the situation.

During our relationship's final months, I regrettably became slobbish, disrespectful, and selfish. These actions caused a lot of pain to my ex-girlfriend and I've since sought therapy to address these behaviours, making significant lifestyle changes to rectify my past actions. I have come to realise how much my past behaviour hurt this person, but I truly, compassionately believe I have made great strides from the person I once was and hope I can continue to grow and improve on this trajectory.

The allegation of abuse, particularly in the form of biting, deeply shocked me. Throughout our relationship, I understood from our numerous conversations and text message exchanges on the subject, that this behaviour was consensual, playful and reciprocally enjoyed. I truly believe those personal message exchanges reflect mutual affection and understanding. Out of respect for her, I choose not to publish them and I emphasise my perspective is not shared to diminish or invalidate anyone's feelings. Instead I share it in the hope that I can offer a genuine, fair and relevant insight into my understanding of the situation. While I may perceive our interactions differently, I recognise that this person has processed and expressed feelings of hurt. I want to extend my sincerest apologies for any pain that I caused.

I am fully committed to understanding and addressing her concerns going forward. I hope my perspective sheds light on this situation without detracting from its message. I am dedicated to earning and maintaining the trust of those around me and hope I continue to be held to these high standards I wish to attain and maintain.

- Will

Shubble's response:

i could not have imagined what i would wake up to today. my ex pretending he thought i enjoyed being hurt... and all of my friends immediately coming to my defense. The support has brought me to tears, i don't even know what to say. i'll be back, i'll just be taking a little time

and for the record, i don't accept the apology

#shelby #shelby shubble #wilbur situation #Youtube

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hermitadaymay · 6 months

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-Removed double name tagging. This year, all submissions for each day's Hermit will only be tagged with the shorter version of their name (where applicable). For example, fanworks for Stress will be tagged "#stress," not "#stressmonster101, #stress." Notably, fanworks featuring Joel SmallishBeans will be tagged #joel.

=Updated desktop blog theme. (please look at it I did actual coding for this)

=Changed Bonus Days to Sundays.

=Time of rollover between dates will now be 12:00am US Central time (6:00am GMT).

+Added credits page.

+Added people to credit! HADM24 comes to you with the help of boatloads of my friends both online and irl and even some names you might know (keep reading).

+THE BIG ONE: Added a secondary goal for the Hermit-a-Day May event: a complete fundraiser for Gamers Outreach.

The way this community comes together to celebrate the Hermits and each other is incredible. There are something like 1,800 fanworks on this blog from last May and early June! And that's not counting what was posted on other social media platforms as the prompt calendar spread.

I wanted to do something with that momentum - something with a little more substance behind it than last year's spontaneous "hey we should all donate $14!" So I've partnered with two amazing fandom artists you may remember from their daily posts last year - @belmarzi and @rendiggitydog - so that as a community, we could make even more awesomeness come from this event.

I have created a Tiltify campaign so that donations can be made directly to GO - I will never touch the money - and tracked for our incentives:

GRAND TOTAL INCENTIVE: For every $150 we raise for Gamers Outreach (to a minimum of $300, and a maximum that is yet to be determined, but we currently have support for up to $2,100), belmarzi will make 10 seconds' worth of animatic, featuring as many Hermits as she can fit into the time frame. You can expect to see the animatic published in early July.

INDIVIDUAL DONATION INCENTIVE: For every $65 you personally donate to the fundraiser, Rae rendiggitydog will draw you a shaded flats commission of a Hermit of your choice. These will be finished in the order in which the donations are received, and may be sent to you in May or early June.

I've put a lot of work into making this happen, and I cannot tell you how excited I am for May to arrive! The campaign will be opened in mid to late April together with the posting of this year's prompt calendar.

We've got some great stuff cooking up for y'all this year, between the whole month of fanart and the fundraising incentives! Thank you all for being a part of it! The askbox is open for questions, if you have them.

Next time: the official release of the prompt calendar!

-Mod Luna

#hermitcraft #hermitaday #reference post

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tojis-favorite · 2 years

Text

TOJI AS YOUR R&B SINGER! BOYFRIEND

(i love giving toji random occupations)

HEADCANONS UNDER CUT

Okay first let's talk about the type of music he would make first. I feel like he would make music like a mixture of bryson tiller and partynextdoor (LISTEN).

The music he would make would be talking about your relationship and most of it would be sexual but not overbearing. It would just be the perfect amount (i’m going to link some songs at the end <3) .

He’s a rising artist, he started out by posting songs on youtube and they would get a decent amount of attention. When he released his mixtape someone had posted a snippet from one of his songs on twitter and he started BOOMING. He has about 3 millions followers on instagram and the more music he puts out the more fame he gains. Which he can find overbearing sometimes.

So far he has done features with Lil Baby, Lakeyah, and Gojo (🤭). He tries not to do too many features at one time because he doesn’t want to be overpowered by the artist he works with; he wants to be known for his voice, not for the people he works with.

ON TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

You have been with him since the BEGINNING. You guys had started dating when you were in highschool. You were a freshman and Toji was a Sophomore. You were friends with a popular group but you weren’t necessarily popular yourself. Toji saw how we were not in the mix a whole lot and he liked that about you.

Anytime you would sleep over at Toji’s house he would sing you to sleep without even realizing it until you would wake up the next morning and would tell him. With the start of your relationship the love that he had for you was beautiful and he would find himself writing about it (all of it).

For your birthday he had sung you one of the songs and that's when you told him that he needed to start taking music more seriously because you could see the talent in him. So he did. Now you're in your Sophmore year of College and he decided not to go to college due to him being on his rise to fame (best believe he is paying your tuition, dorming, and books).

Everyone knows you're in a relationship. Toji did not try to hide your relationship from anyone, especially when he started to get more recognition. He loves to just randomly post you on his story and he has a tattoo of your name on the side of his neck in cursive so people know you are serious.

NSFW (these are all different occasions)

First things first STUDIO SEX (omg). Toji goes to the studio at night most of the time and that’s usually when your day comes to an end. Once he sees that you made it back to your shared apartment he sends you an uber to the studio.

“Thank you,. have a good night sir!” You said as you stepped out of the uber and made your way to studio 15 which Toji informed you of earlier. “Baby i’m here” you said in a sing-song voice as you opened the door to the studio. He was all alone. The lights in the room were red as your boyfriend sat in a chair playing around with the track that was currently playing.

Turning around in the chair a smile spread across his face before he pulled you into a hug. “Hey pretty, how was your day?” looking at him you struge “It was okay, I just went to class and went out with Mina after and then I went home and now here I am.”

Grabbing your face, Toji presses a kiss to your lips as you grasp onto your shoulders. Just by kissing him you could tell that he was frustrated as his tongue explored your mouth while his hands traveled to your ass. Pulling away he keeps his hold on you as he kisses your neck. “I really need my muse right now, can you help me baby?” Your boyfriend asked as he started to pull off the pants you hand on along with your panties.

Wrapping his hands around your thighs takes you into the next room with the microphone. Walking over to the microphone he pulls down his grey sweatpants and lines his cock with your entrance make sure to support the bottom of your ass you bounced on his cock your arms wrapped around his shoulders holding on to him.

“Fuck Toj-mhm your so deep.” You moaned as he started kissing your lips. “Your so fucking pretty y/n, cum on your cock.” Squeezing your eyes shut you feel your orgasm approaching as Toji starts to move faster as you curl your toes. You try to bite on his shoulder to shield the sound until you feel a sharp sting on your ass.

“I want to hear you cum on my cock little muse, fuck-ing give it to me.” He said in a groan as he started to cum. “Oh my gosh im cuming” you announced as you started to shake on top of him as you felt his cum shot inside you. “Thank you so much my little muse” your boyfriend said as his kissed all over your face lovenly.

It was a Saturday night and you were currently with your boyfriend at a club he was hosting for. “Do you want anything else to drink?” You felt a hand on your waist that was your boyfriends. Nodding your head you answer “Can you get me like two shots of Hennessy?”, “Okay i’ll be right back pretty.” he said walking off to the nearest bar.

Shortly after we came back with two shot glasses and watched as you took them back to back. Bending down you feel his lips next to your ear. “You okay baby.” Toji asks you as he fixes some hairs that were in front of your face. “Yeah we don’t have nights like this often so i’m making the most out of it.” You explained looking around at all the lights in the club already feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Suddenly Bring it back by Travis Porter started to play throughout the club which caused you to squeal. With Toji standing behind you, bend over and you start to twerk on him to the rhythm of the song. You could have a bunch of flashes on you as you could hear your friends encouraging you as you feel Toji get hard as he rubbed on your ass through your dress making sure it didn’t go up too high.

You get back up once the chorus is done playing and look up at Toji as he pulls your dress down for you. “Let’s go to the car real quick” He said as he started to guide you out of the section. “Where the hell are you guys going?” one of Toji's friends interaigate you, “Well, be right back Gojo.” He stated rolling his eyes and continued to guide you to the back door.

When you guys make it outside Toji opens the door to the back seat of his car, having you go in first. “Lay down on your back for me, pretty.” Doing what he said you lay down on your back as he closed the door behind him. “You are so incredible, you know that? You can do the simplest shit and you still manage to turn me on more and more, open your legs.” He said his voice was demanding.

Open your legs you gasped as Toji wasted no time leaning over pulling your panties to the side and attaching his lips onto your clit letting out a groan as he did sending electric shocks throughout your whole body. “Oh my gosh Toji you're making me feel so good.” You said as you held on to his hair for support your eye rolled back into your head as your heels pressed into Toji’s back.

Moving your hips against his face he puts two fingers inside of you as he licks on your clit being able to see that you're about to cum. He gently bites down on your clit before groaning to your pussy which sends you into overdrive as you start to cum all over his face as he slurps up all the cream that tries to escape you with a smile.

Breathing through your nose you stare up at your boyfriend from on your knees while you take his cock in your mouth. He had been nervous for the performance at an award show and you had taken him backstage to calm his nerves.

“Your way to good for me my little muse fuck keep doing it like that pretty girl.” He guides you as he puts his hands in your hair, guiding at a slow pace making sure you aren't choking around him. Looking into his eyes you could definitely tell he was more relaxed which made you happy.

Circling your tongue on his tips you see him squeeze his eyes shut before he starts moving his hips toward your face. Opening your mouth wide you grab his cock tapping it on your tongue a few times before taking all of him in your mouth saliva almost covering your whole face.

“I’m cumming pretty, you think you can swallow my cum for me hmm?” Toji let out a few short breaths before he let out a deep groan as he came in your mouth, his hips riding out his orgasm. Swallowing his cum you stand up with the help of Toji and give him a hard kiss to his lips. “You've got this, you've done this before and you're going to do it a million other times.”

“Why are you acting like this pretty girl?” “Because it was disrespectful and you can be to fucking friendly sometimes. You angrily explained to your boyfriend over facetime. Your best friend had just sent you a video of Toji from a meet and greet with a fan.

In the video he kissed the girl's cheek which was completely fine, that's not what you had a problem with. You had a problem with the fact that towards the end of the video the fan turned her head and almost kissed your boyfriend and instead of addressing the problem Toji just laughed it off with the fan.

You guys had talked about him establishing boundaries with his fans and he wholeheartedly agreed. “What did you want me to do? ,Cuss her out?” Sighing, you shake your head understanding what he was saying. “I am going to post something on twitter though just so it doesn't happen again sweetheart.” he said to reassure you as he shifted his camera showing how he was lying in bed.

“Do look even more pretty when you're mad at me,” Toji said with a smile he white teeth biting the bottom of his lips. “What are you wearing?” He asked, smirking as you took the blanket of your body exposing the silk dress you were wearing.

“Fuck your so beautiful.” Your boyfriend let out a breath as you saw him pull his cock out of his boxers. You hide your face smiling when you see the pre-cum escaping out of his tip. “Talk to me pretty.” he said as you could hear he fist go up and down on his shaft.

Look at the camera you set your phone up on one of your pillows as you slowly start to pull the strings off of your shoulder causing your boobs to be exposed, your nipples hard due to them being uncovered.” “Ahh shit show me, show me that pretty pussyb of yours please.” Bending over with your ass toward the camera you open your lips moaning as the cold hits your clit.

Toji damn near came when he saw you put your fingers inside of you fisting the sheets and you moved your fingers faster. “Turn around so I can see your face.” you turn around as you meet with the sight of Toji's chest going up and down as his breathing got harder to viens in his neck and arms bulging.

“I’m cumming pretty- mhh I wish I was there so I could cum on your pretty- fuck face.” groaned as spurts of cum came out onto the camera his phone covered in cum as he saw you cum on your own fingers.`` You need to come back home Toji. I miss you.” You while chasing your orgasm as you saw him wiping camera off with a smile on his face.

“I’ll be home soon pretty.” he informed you with a lazy smile on his face as he watched you slip your straps back onto your shoulders. “I love you Toji” you geeked as you saw the look on his face “I love you more princess.”

BONUS SCENE <3

“TOJI!” you scream as you enter your shared bedroom with him seeing him laying in your bed on his phone. “What’s up pretty girl?” he asked as if he didn't do anything wrong. “Why would you put my moans in the back of your new song that’s so embarrassing” you said crossing your arms over your chest. Standing up from the bed Toji wraps you in a hug laughing.

“No it's not, I think it adds a pretty nice touch to the song and people seem to agree with me seeing as it has 1 million views already.” he said with a cheeky smile on his face. Rolling your eyes you unwrap yourself from him just for him to pull you back into his arm again. “Are you really upset y/n because I could just release another version of the song? He asked, looking into your eyes.

“It’s fine Toji next time let me hear it before you release so I can try to moan better.” You stood on your tiptoes moving your lips toward his meeting you halfway he pressed a kiss to your lips before pulling away. “Your moans are fucking perfect pretty.” He said before throwing you over his shoulders.

“TOJI PUT ME DOWN!”

TOJIS MUSIC

Her way- Party Next Door

Overtime- Bryson Tiller

Break from Toronto- Party Next Door

Let Em’ Know- Bryson Tiller

B.E.D- Jacques

From the City- Party Next Door

Exchange- Bryson Tiller

Or Nah- The weekend, Ty dolla sign, and Wiz Khalifa (he would sing the weekends part 😩)

Drama- Roy Woods ft. Drake

Self Esteem- Lambo4oe ft NLE CHOPPA

A/N should I do Gojo? 😭😩🤭

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froggibus · 1 year

Text

Mary On A Cross - Mammon

Pairing: Mammon x f! angel! reader (reader uses female pronouns + has a pussy)

Genre: smut/NSFW

Word Count: 3k

Summary: dating an angel has never been easy for Mammon, but now he wants to show you that your holiness isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be

CW: blasphemy, desecration of a temple, sex in a temple, anti-religious sentiments, sacrilege, fingering, stripping, slight exhibitionism, public sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex (be smart 07), multiple creampies, praise/degradation, sex on the floor

hello yes it is I still managing to write this month…anyway, please enjoy the culmination of months of thoughts of mammon + listening to ghost :)

Kinktober Masterlist

“C’mon, can’t you tell me where we’re going?” You pout.

Mammon tightens his grip on your hand, continuing to lead you down the cobbled path. You’re not supposed to be in the human world, and you’ve always been a rule follower, but Mammon just brings out that rebellious side of you.

The demon doesn’t answer your question. In fact, he’s been strangely quiet ever since he came up to you after school and started dragging you along with him. You know he doesn’t always have the easiest time at RAD, but you’ve never quite seen him this upset.

Mammon tries to keep his composure and remind himself that it’s not you he’s mad at. But it’s so hard to forget the differences between you when you look so fucking angelic all the time. No matter what you do, your skin has that ethereal glow to it and your voice always sounds melodic and soft. It makes him want to worship you, it makes him want to ruin you.

Jealousy and anger courses through him, his heart beating so hard it’s painful. He hates how people in the Devildom look at him when you’re together, hates the stares you always get. No one looks at you like that when you’re with Simeon, or even the damn chihuahua. No, those looks are reserved for Mammon, and he reads them loud and clear.

A demon and an angel? Ridiculous. They’ll never last. He’s going to ruin her. How did they even end up together? Aren’t they mortal enemies? Disgusting.

He glances at you and immediately the thoughts die out. You’ve always been able to quiet the darker parts of his mind, dull his jagged edges. He almost feels guilt for what he’s going to do to you.

Almost.

You stop as soon as you reach the stairs to the temple. “No. Mammon, no.”

You plant your heels into the ground and tug on his hand, trying to get him to release you. You would do almost anything for him, but this? This is too far.

He stops on the stair above you, looking at you seriously. “Are you comin?”

His voice is void of anything. No guilt, no shame. Just that same, tired tone he uses whenever his brother’s are picking on him too much.

“Do you know what this is? This is a temple, Mammon. For an archangel. Gods, you could be smited just for being within five feet of this place!”

“The Great Mammon? Smited?” He scoffs, dropping your hand and continuing up to the door.

His hand touches the handle and you brace yourself, ready for your boyfriend to get eviscerated before your eyes. He twists the handle, the door clicks open and…nothing happens. You tilt your head in confusion.

“Are you comin’ or what?”

You scurry up the stairs after him, managing to slip through the door just before it closes. The temple is completely empty, three rows of oak benches lining a long marble aisle. At the end of the aisle is a large, empty throne carved out of marble.

You recognize the carving at the top of the throne immediately and stop dead in your tracks. You really shouldn’t be here. You watch silently as Mammon approaches the throne, plopping himself in it and giving you a crooked smirk.

He beckons you closer with his fingers, and you find yourself stumbling down the aisle without thinking. His eyes are dark, the pupil consuming the iris. You don’t like that look, and yet you can’t stop.

He pats his knee, “hav’a seat.”

You hesitantly sit down on his lap, leaning your head back on his chest. Your heart is racing, and you expect someone to burst in at any moment and smite you down.

“Your heart is pounding,” Mammon whispers, hot breath against your neck.

You shiver and nod. You really shouldn’t be doing this. You go to stand up but Mammon yanks you back down, using his thighs to force your legs apart. He rests a hand on your inner thigh just above your knee, gently tapping his fingers along your skin.

“M-mammon,” you hiss, “we can’t be doing this in here.” You try to keep your voice low, afraid you’ll somehow draw attention to the two of you.

Mammon trails his hand up your thigh, stopping when the side of his knuckle just barely brushes your clit. You gasp, your hips grinding into his hand as if they have a mind of their own.

He laughs. “We shouldn’t be doin this anywhere, baby.”

He presses a finger into your clit, applying just enough pressure to have your panties dampening without giving you quite what you want. You try to close your legs around his hand, whether to get more or get him to stop, you’re not sure.

“M-mammon please!” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. You force yourself to sit up straight, clearing your throat, “let’s just go home. Please, I could lose my blessing for this.”

Mammon grips your chin, forcing you to face him. “Won’t ya do it? For me?”

It’s the most sincere thing he’s said to you all day. His features soften as he looks at you, vulnerability on full display. The way he’s looking at you so softly, it’s like he’s asking you to give up your blessing, to come live a lifetime with him.

You’re not an idiot, you know what people think about the two of you. You know being with him is wrong, and that it can’t possibly last forever—not if he’s still a demon, and you’re still an angel.

“I-I’ll do it.”

He grins, pulling you back into him and kissing your neck. You can feel his canines graze the sensitive skin, burning beneath his touch. He keeps your legs spread, a hand rubbing you through your panties.

You can feel his growing bulge against your back, feel the excitement build. You force yourself to focus on the present, all of your attention on his wandering hands. He’s practically an expert. He always knows just what you need.

Just as you settle into the idea of him taking you here, he pulls his hand away. You shift in his lap, turning to look at him with furrowed brows.

He gives you a gentle shove off of his lap, forcing you to your feet. “Strip for me.”

You look at him dazed, your pussy aching from where his fingers just were. You’re already overwhelmed from the fear and excitement of the situation—your head spinning and erasing all of the thoughts that try to escape.

“What?” He smirks at you, “I wanna see you.”

You turn away from him, keeping your eyes locked at the exit at the end of the aisle. Your hands tremble as you hook them into the waistband of your pants, pulling them down to your ankles.

Mammon grips his bulge through his jeans, grinding against his hand. You’re taking your sweet time stripping for him—always such a tease. He can’t help but notice the gold panties that look absolutely delicious on you.

He licks his lips in anticipation as you lean forward and tug down your panties. They stick to your pussy with your juices and the second they’re removed from your skin, you gasp.

His cock aches in his jeans, straining against the hard denim. He’s quick to unbutton them and kick them off of his fett, leaving them in a puddle on the ground.

You turn around shyly, dressed in only your shirt from the day. You keep your eyes on the tight fabric of his boxers while you cross your arms and tug your shirt over your head. You can feel his gaze on you as you lean forward and jiggle your chest.

You reach behind you slowly and unclip the clasp of your bra, letting the fabric fall loosely down your shoulders. You hate that being exposed like this in the middle of a temple has your pussy dripping. You cross your arms over your chest and take a deep breath, waiting for his instructions.

“Such a pretty, little angel,” he hums. “C’mere.”

You shuffle back towards him, standing between his legs in front of the throne. He trails his hands up your hips, cupping your breasts before letting them fall. The pressure makes you gasp, the cold air of the temple hardening your nipples.

He grabs your hips and spins you around, tugging you hard onto his lap. You can feel his hard cock grinding against the top of your ass as he trails his fingers up your thigh.

He keeps a firm grip on your hip the whole time, as if letting you know that there’s no escape now. He taps your clit with the pad of his finger, pressing hard and rubbing circles. You whine and shut your eyes, attempting to hide your face in his shirt.

Mammon slips a finger inside of you, your pussy eagerly taking him. “Look at you, getting finger fucked in a temple like the whore you are. “ He takes an aggressive pace, thrusting his finger in and out of you with a brutality you’ve never seen from him before.

Another finger slips inside of you and it only gets harder to contain your desperate pleas. Mammon grows frustrated with your muffled whines, curling his fingers inside of you and nipping at your neck. You gasp at the brief pain, but your sounds of surprise are replaced by your lewd moans.

He prods at your dripping hole with another finger. Your eyes widen—it’s rare that you’re able to take three of his fingers, but Mammon is really pushing you to the limit today. Your pussy squelches as he forces the third finger in, stretching your walls almost painfully.

You suck in a deep breath. “Too much!”

Mammon only laughs while he opens you up around his hand. His lips ghost across your neck, leaving kisses all the way up to your ear. He shoves his fingers as deep as they can go, hitting that throbbing spot inside of you.

“Too much?” He mocks, curling his fingers to rub against your walls. “You can take it, I know you can. Look, your pussy is already opening up for me.”

His words only make you wetter, building onto that knot coiling in your tummy. You grip at his forearm, digging your nails into the tanned skin. You don’t even realize as you start to grind your hips against his hand, desperately chasing your release.

Mammon bites at your neck again. “You gonna cum? Hm?”

You nod eagerly, continuing to rock your hips into his palm. Mammon gets the hint and speeds up. Every time you move, you grind your ass further into his waiting cock, driving him wild.

“Go on, baby,” he whispers in your ear, “cum for me.”

Heat washes over you as you cum, your pussy leaking all over Mammon’s hand, the throne and the floor of the temple. Your legs shake, all of your muscles contracting involuntarily. Mammon holds you through your orgasm, keeping his fingers deep inside of you.

“Look at you, makin’ such a mess of the temple. I wonder what your god thinks of you now.”

Horror dawns on you as you remember where you are and what you just did, but Mammon gives you no time to think before he’s nudging you off the throne. You slump on your knees in front of him, looking up at him through your lashes.

You rest your hands on his thighs, watching eagerly as he tugs down his underwear and his cock springs out. He’s rock hard, pre cum dripping down the tip and shaft. You lick your lips at the sight.

“Come on,” he grabs the back of your head and guides you forwards. “It’s not gonna suck itself.”

You wrap your hand around the base of it, slowly stroking up and down. You stick your tongue out and lick the tip, collecting the salty pre on your tongue. Mammon groans, using the grip he has on the back of your head to push your head down.

You gladly take him into your mouth, wrapping your lips around him. He’s big enough that it’s a stretch to fit him in your jaw, and it only takes a few seconds for the tip of his cock to hit the back of your throat. You gag around his length but take a breath through your nose and get a hold of yourself.

“So angelic,” he taunts.

You fall into a steady rhythm of bobbing your head up and down while you stroke his cock, your other hand gently cupping his balls. Mammon’s moans and the wet sounds of you sucking his cock echo off of the walls, serving as shameful reminders.

Mammon thrusts into the back of your throat and holds your head down, forcing you to stay in that position until you tap his thigh harshly. He lets you go, giving you time to catch your breath. The cold air feels nice on your sore throat.

Mammon grabs your hands and helps you off of the floor, letting you straddle his lap. You line up his cock with your soaking pussy and slowly sink down onto him. You lean forwards into his chest and wrap your arms around his shoulders, using him as leverage.

You take him inch by inch, his cock pushing apart your gummy walls and stretching you in the perfect way he always does. When he bottoms out, he’s so deep inside you that it almost hurts. You whine, rolling your hips against him.

Mammon grips your hips so hard you’re sure it’ll bruise and helps guide you up and down his length. He moves his hips up to meet yours as they fall down, forcing himself all the way with every thrust. His fingers dig in as he picks up the pace, his thrusts growing fast and restless.

You can feel that knot in your stomach again, that familiar heat beginning to overtake you. Your legs are tired from bouncing on his cock and your muscles threaten to give out, your whole body shaking. You collapse onto his chest but that doesn’t stop Mammon. He keeps up his demonic pace, thrusting into you ruthlessly.

“M-mammon!”

He drives himself into you harder. Your pussy squeezes his cock harder with every thrust, your slick dripping down and covering his thighs. He slams into you a few more times before you completely unravel, going limp on his chest. Mammon’s cock twitches, his own orgasm following yours. He slams you down, bottoming out completely inside of you as he pumps out his hot cum.

He only gives you a moment to recover before he’s lifting you up and laying you on your stomach on the floor. The cold tiles soothe your feverish skin, though it does nothing to stop the tingling in your pussy. Your eyes flutter open and shut and you’re not sure you’ll be able to take another orgasm.

Mammon’s body presses against your back, his hand snaking around your thighs. He tugs you so that you’re on your knees, your face pressed against the floor. You can feel his still-hard cock lining up with your entrance, every touch of his tip against your clit making you shiver.

His cock slides into you much easier this time, your walls throbbing around him. The overstimulation makes you shiver, a harsh pressure in your stomach. Mammon doesn’t seem bothered, though. The demon drives into you at a steady pace, the combination of his cum and your juices making loud, wet noises.

“My pretty little angel,” he coos, giving your ass a harsh smack, “are ya still with me there, or have I fucked your brain into mush?”

You can only whine in response, that pressure in your stomach consuming you. Mammon smacks your ass again, waiting for an answer.

“It’s too much, Mams, too much,” you manage to mumble.

He slows down his pace to give you a bit of a reprieve. “You can take it, I know ya can.”

You shake your head but you know that will do little to stop him. He keeps his slow pace for only a few minutes, going back to slamming into you like he was before. The break helped you get a little energy back, but your whole body still trembles with oversensitivity.

Mammon thrusts into you so harshly that your whole body moves forwards. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you back into him, repeating the process all over. He channels all of his frustration and anger from earlier today into every movement, channels all of it into your poor, overstimulated pussy.

“Oh—Oh, God!” You cry out, the pressure in your stomach threatening to burst.

Mammon drives his hips into you harshly, wrapping his hand around your throat. “There are no gods here,” he hisses. “Not anymore. You pray to me now.”

That’s all it takes for your third orgasm to wash over you. This one is the harshest yet—your legs shake, black spots dance in your vision and your pussy absolutely gushes all over the place.

Mammon keeps fucking you throughout, chasing his own high. It’s only another minute before he’s bottoming out inside of you and letting all of his cum fill you up. You lay beneath him weakly and let him finish using you.

When he pulls out, the mix of his cum and your juices gushes over the floor. It oozes out of you, getting your thighs and pussy all sticky.

Mammon helps you sit up, planting a kiss to your forehead. Neither of you say much after that. You’re too focused on the heinousness of the acts you just committed in the temple, while Mammon has nothing but pride and admiration.

When the two of you are dressed and somewhat cleaned up, you start the journey back to the Devildom. Both of you notice the ethereal sheen to your skin fading, but neither of you are brave enough to acknowledge what you’ve forsaken.

#obey me mammon #mammon x y/n #mammon x you #mammon x reader #mammon avatar of greed #obey me oneshot #obey me x reader #obey me x you #obey me #obey me smut #mammon smut #kinktober #kinktober 2023

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girlwithamissingpearl · 1 year

Text

I understand things have been dry in Outlander land but even desert dry has me smh. Ladies, if you have to try that hard to shit all over SH, I’m not saying it makes you a hater but it sure as shit doesn’t make you a liker.

Back after a bit- admit it, we all need to occasionally take a break- I feel I needed to pace myself during the drought. But after a bit of scrolling, I felt compelled to dive right in. Isn’t this fandom about fun, entertainment and guilty pleasure? That’s why I’m here. So why the endless posts from the SH haters? Do people dislike SH, enjoy the snark or just think the man is stupid?

So just for fun (or insomnia) I thought I would play a short game of SH: Stupid, Smart or just SMH?

1. SH and Cons/Private events for $

Why do people have such a problem with SH trying to make a living? Most if not all actors part of a series or movie franchise participate. In my opinion SH is doing it now, so he won’t need to in his 60’s to pay the rent. While most fans are priced out of the more exclusive events, all I can say is the paying fans are the only ones that never complain. Supply and demand. If any charitable component is part of the deal, great. So can we finally put a line under this?

Verdict: Smart as hell

2. SH always “Shilling” SS to his Fans and on SM

Uhm, he is the brand. It’s his company. Can it be a bit much? Yes. Promotion to the fan base and the use of sm is marketing 101. In order for people to try the product they need to know about the product. We can disagree as to his methods or success to date, but fans are not the only ones buying bottles. As for the constant and consistent presence of AN with SH during events? Suddenly they are a couple? WTF. AN is a business partner. He owns part of the business. They both work hard promoting SS, and so far it looks like they will continue to release more SS. Ladies, don’t put your lawn chairs away yet!😉

Verdict: Smart

3. SH and boundaries with his fans

Regardless of the letter you attach to SH, he is a recognized actor around the world. Definitely a people pleaser, in imho, he will happily take a selfie with anyone. Obviously, he never wants to disappoint any fan, but his lack of boundaries and security at events can be cringe worthy at times. If a female actor was touched, mauled, or asked to sign fans boobs or t-shirts it would be a #me too moment. Someone, anyone in security or a handler needs to be bad cop if he won’t. How far is too far?

Verdict: Stupid with a side of SMH

4. SH as a Philanthropist and Charitable Causes

This one really bugs me. MPC has raised over $6m for charity. SH’s name attached to any cause raises awareness and $. The BS from the haters who discount this based on the fact SH apparently never donates his own money is petty nonsense. Gentleman’s ride is one example. Agree it was his female fans that made it happen. And? This is my only fandom but SH is held to an impossible standard. Apparently he is a hypocrite in his support for clean oceans because someone on his team had a catered lunch using single use plastics. Great topic for discussion, but the man didn’t throw the containers in the ocean. Also let’s not judge a person’s commitment based on sm posts. SH can literally, yes ladies literally never win. Thankfully the causes he supports do. I dare you to disagree.

Verdict: Smart

5A. SH’s dating life

According to an extremely ardent part of this fandom, SH has dated😉 every fit blonde 👱‍♀️ within a 250 mile radius of everywhere. I wish that someone would keep track of all the mysterious initials and lack of any literal proof of these women. This is where I separate the snark from the hater’s. While I’m in owe of the investigative skills of some, and enjoy the gossip-even though mom thought gossip was a sin, sorry mom- not all women aka initials welcome the attention. Any woman save CB that SH is remotely warranted or not attached to, has an avalanche of hate comments and 💩emoji in their future, welcome or not. Personally, I believe SH, goes out of his way to protect the people he cares about, and perhaps even those he may not. I think we can agree he is not a monk. However an actor is entitled to privacy. Ginger Jesus included.

5B. SH ‘s Sexuality

From the beginning, 3 years for me, I’ve read posts about someone who knew a friend of a friend of a bartender’s friend who knew for a fact SH had a boyfriend. WTF. You know the drought is real when this bullshit gets recycled. We all know the question has been asked and answered by SH. More than once. Next.

Verdict: SH keeping his private life private: Smart as hell.

6. SH and the use of all things Outlander related

If you don’t get it, I don’t have the time and am too lazy to explain it to you.

Verdict: Smart. Smart as hell

7. SH and CB

The only real problem here is obvious. And I don’t know why the fans or even the haters- btw, I use the term haters like I do profanity- perhaps not the best word, but like GFY, FU, MF, C, etc. I’m lazy and it saves time and no confusion to whom I address. So where the actual f&ck is the audition tape we all want to see? You know the part of which I speak. If only the fandom investigators could put aside any petty differences and uncover the SH, CB chemistry kiss tape? I’m not saying it will be a unifying and CTJ moment, but it would give SH fans something to make the drought less….thirsty.

No verdict necessary. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨😚😉

And last but definitely not least…

8. SH and Thirst Traps

Ladies, because of Outlander and all things Outlander related, we’ve had the pleasure to observe SH from every view and lovely angle. Come on, if you 👀 closely it’s all there. Why the actual f&ck people in this fandom have a problem with his shirtless posts is beyond me. Not only is he promoting the results a good fitness regime can produce, he is literally, yes literally giving his fans something they want. And don’t even try me with- you’re treating him like an object. This is a 100% consensual relationship. And if the word “hater” seems harsh about the same gang that complains and shits all over his shirtless thirst traps, then please find me a better name.

Verdict: Smart as hell and thank you

So for those who may not get it, this post is silly and something for my handful of friends or any SH fan to have a laugh. If anyone has the patience to read the entire thing😉 So any comments are welcome, but to the people or person sending awful and cowardly anon messages: save your time. Or GFY. See what I did there?🤓

#outlander #outlander season 7 #sam cait #sam heughan #sassanach #men in kilts #men in kilts 2 #waypoints #clanlands

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sgiandubh · 10 months

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Lights, camera, shit show

I was just cleaning my OL folders (all those Chinese paintings and scrolls do take a horrendous amount of space, heh) and I just stumbled upon something I completely forgot to share and discuss with you. I found this particular article during my solitaire lurking months and I remember being befuddled by it for a long time, then thought I've lost it for good.

I don't remember ever seeing it shared or discussed in here, either and if, by any slim chance, I am wrong, kindly forgive me. That professional website is now closed, but its content is still available to browse:

Anyway, there goes: https://www.studiodaily.com/2018/06/outlander-dp-stephen-mcnutt-asc-csc-saucy-scottish-show/

We discussed Terry Dresbach and her inebriated rants, Vanessa Woman's devastating impact on set as Intimacy Coordinator, RDM's jealousy and many other aspects of life on the OL set. Rumors likely to have originated there peppered our shipping trail like flickering lights in a sea of darkness. So yes, we dissected these things to death. But not Stephen McNutt's interview to Studio Daily, on June 22, 2018 - please keep in mind the date, it is essential!

Stephen McNutt is a well-established professional and a member of the American Society of Cinematographers (ASC) and the Canadian Society of Cinematographers (CSC), as he hails from British Columbia. He also has a consistent track record of previous work with RDM, both on Battlestar Galactica and Caprica (its prequel). Therefore, one has to immediately suppose he was handpicked and brought on set by the same RDM, of course: set a very low bar on your expectations, I am warning you.

By the grace of RDM, he was one of the main Directors of Photography for OL during Seasons Two and Three. IMDb is not the best source for corroborating things, because they credit him with 13 episodes in Season Two (including La Dame Blanche- he is the Blue Room guy!), but only one for Season Three (First Wife), which is completely wrong. I even had to check some opening credits on Netflix (at reduced speed, ugh), because he speaks at length of A. Malcolm, something that would have made little sense otherwise. He was there, of course: and his is a first-hand account, heavily loaded with both innuendo and TPTB bullshit, up to the point of complete incoherence.

We focus on the three final questions:

This is a study in bullshitology, right here. The question asked is very clear and very technical: how did you approach those famous love scenes?

The answer is a mumble jumble of retcon, deflections, slips and overall impossible scramble for a logical explanation. I am doing a line by line, because this is almost too good to be true:

'(...) But as far as Cat and Sammy making love (...)' : um, hello and excuse me, I thought the question was about Jamie and Claire?!? And then we are delusional and can't fucking separate, when your own henchman, the Director of Photography no less, seems to be totally unable to do so, too? Hello? Also: 'Sammy'? 'Sammy'? What. The. Total. Fuck, and I LOLed then and I am still LOLing now. Terms of endearment overheard on set - but no, here comes the 'friendship' shite, hitting the narrative fan with Mach 5 speed. Objective? Explaining in a plausible way the hugging and 'keeping warm'. And I am sorry, but this begs the question: what the hell did this man see on that set? And how many people did see the same, hence the need to release such a gratuitous lie, for pure retconning purposes?

'They are not an item at all - I think she just got married'. Oh, fuck my life, man: you are such a terrible, terrible liar! Remember, that interview was taken in June 2018: after the OZ EFH and just about when C. was gleefully answering 'oh, God forbid!' every time she was prompted by press about her marriage plans. How can somebody with a pretty high trophic level and personal rapport to both S and C be totally unaware about C's marital status at the time? How can a long time acquaintance and coworker of RDM say no both to a friend and to a current boss (same person, the worst case scenario) asking for a favor, in that particular context? It also goes to prove that the shit show plot mainlines never originated with S and C and that the Remarkable Week-end was already planned for quite some time. By TPTB. With the full knowledge of RDM.

Let's suppose Mr. McNutt was so deeply engrossed in his work as not to notice all the people who must have congratulated C on set. I mean, I know who our (spinster) colleague from Accounting is currently banging and that guy is (mercifully) not among our staff (I totally wish them well, btw). Maybe because nobody congratulated C on that fakegagement? Also, you know them well enough to confidently say 'they are not an item', but don't know she was not married at the time and state an enormity with the same confidence? What in the name of the hoo-ha did I just read, here?

'I was always in such amazement of that.' In amazement of exactly what, Mr. McNutt? Surely not a woman holding hands or keeping warm with her gay co-star on set, huh? I mean, I need the best American English dictionary, here:

Again: what the heck did this man see? What comments did he hear? Surely, 'amazement' is a very precise choice of wording, with particularly enlightening synonyms:

Hence the need to end the demonstration with a deflection: 'They would just have fun.' You know, there is no such thing as a virgin whore, Mr. McNutt: you either are in such astonishment or you think your pals, good old S and C, such a funny girl, were having, well... 'fun', what else? You can't logically have both in the same paragraph!

And there we go: 'a very collegial atmosphere on set'. The answer is pure fool's gold, if you ask me: 'Nobody goes to sit in a trailer or says they aren’t showing up that day. '

And I laughed. And I laughed. And I laughed. I really don't know what this man is talking about. I never heard McTavish telling S to get out of that trailer ('nephew'). I never read the 'two very loved-up birdies' in a trailer a-rockin' Anons. I never watched that 2015 Anglophile SDCC interview, when S mentioned listening in their shared trailer to Erasure's Oh, l'Amour and C immediately reacted ('oh, did you just admit to that?'). But unlike me, McNutt must have been legally bound by a big cojones Non-Disclosure Agreement and morally bound by loyalty towards RDM, his friend, boss and benefactor.

This. All of the above. This is the real reason for all the bullshit you've just read: explaining a real, shocking love story by socially progressive regulations, allowing the cast to be 'much more happy'. I would laugh some more, if this was not sinister and cruel, in fact.

It is Love. A deep, strong one. But the seeds of the adverse narrative were planted early and deep, forcing even decent people like this guy to lie and smear himself a bit in the process. What we see and hear now are but better worded and more refined consequences of that fateful January 2016 morning in LA. And since I am allowed the dubious luxury only a healthy distance in time allows, let me remind you a simple, fun fact about this interview who stated they were never an item:

About ten months after McNutt uttered these words, the fandom was hit by the Covfefe Pics.

I rest my case.

#shitshow #fandom

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bonecoatvodtranscripts · 7 months

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Transcript: talking about something more serious (Shubble VOD 2/21/2024)

youtube

CWs: physical abuse, emotional abuse/gaslighting, financial abuse, mentions of sexual assault

Feel free to reupload this transcript anywhere, I really don't care about credit for this one

Hello!

I don't know if you can even hear it. I put on, like, light jazz in the background because it seemed awkward being quiet, but I don't think you can hear it, so I'm just going to turn it off. Hello.

Welcome. We are in emote-only cause I'm just going to be talking today and then I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Yeah, it was very very low. There's no need. I just - it felt weird leaving you in silence, but I'm here, so.

Hello. I want to talk about something today that... I'm very nervous. I feel sweaty. I had a sweater on. I had to take it off. I'm going to try and just - I wrote down pretty much everything I think that I want to say, to keep track of all the points that I want to make sure I don't forget anything, so I will be reading from something a good portion of the time, but not 100% of the time. And I just wanted to make sure I got all of my thoughts down in words ahead of time. I really like writing down my thoughts, so I did that.

Oh, hold on. Can I turn ads off? I think that maybe we turn ads off today. (laughs) How do I make that happen for just today? I should have had that already. I actually don't even know how to make that happen. You know what? That's just going to have to be that way. I'm so sorry, um... I'm all good.

Yeah, okay. Today's just going to be talking. I'm just going to start reading from what I wrote and go from there. I have a really big coffee. I'm going to take a swig. (drinks some coffee) And I have my water, and I'm going to take a swig of that. (drinks some water)

I have always liked telling my different experiences that I've had in dating, because it feels important to me to share what I've learned and maybe help other people to not make the same mistakes that I have before. I'm 30. I've dated a lot. I've gone on a lot of dates. I keep trying, and it's unfortunate that a lot of my dating history, there were a lot of bad people that tried to manipulate or control me. But that's not to say that every person that I've dated has treated me poorly. Some people just weren't the right people. And speaking out about my bad experiences has never felt as important as it does right now, because silence has always brought me peace, and this time it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace. It's only keeping somebody else's peace.

And I never thought that I could be the kind of person to end up in a situation like I did. I never thought that could happen to me. And so for me this is important, because it could help anybody else see the signs sooner than I did, or hopefully avoid a similar situation entirely, because... (deep breath) The truth is it was dangerous.

There were a lot of things wrong in this relationship that, um... I endured some pretty terrible treatment. And I might touch on some things here and there about that, if I feel like it's important to the overall context. But what I want to stay focused on is this specific issue, and the things that happened matter-of-factly and the things that people saw and witnessed in our circle.

It took me 10 months after to heal, and I spoke with multiple therapists and tried different forms of therapy. I tried somatic therapy. That one was actually really good for me, because that one actually helped me release a lot of built-up anger I was having over the last year. But the anger that I was feeling was for myself, because I felt like I should have known better. I felt so stupid at myself for staying through all of this. And I shared my story with a lot of friends after I started talking to therapists, and I was like, So this thing happened and I wasn't really sure. It just seems weird now to me, looking back. And all of them told me exactly what was happening in the words that I was too afraid to use. And I was being hurt in my last relationship, and it took me all of that time to see it through that lens. I even posted an anonymous story to Reddit that I have now deleted, with an anonymous account, but in posting that, I found a dozen other stories that were exactly like mine, exactly the same way. And all of the comments said exactly the same thing.

And I was so mad at myself because I was lying, too, at a certain point, to protect this person, because I knew that if I told my friends the truth, it would make him look really bad.

I didn't think that I would cry, and I practiced saying all of this and I didn't cry, but it's easier to practice it when no one is listening.

But he always cared more about how it looked, and that was really important. Not what was true. And it was really subtle. When I hear about... When I hear about physical abuse, I think of hitting. I think of hitting and punching. So I thought that this wasn't violent enough to be abuse. I thought that it was just, like, a constant accident that he kept hurting me. But he's not hitting me.

And it didn't start as something that he did to hurt me. He had this habit of biting, which is so weird to me now, but he said that he had this habit since he was a kid, and even his mom said that that was true, and he said it was just affectionate, and that might have been... I mean, I think that might have been true maybe at the start, but I also feel that I have good reason to believe that every part of it was a lie. But that's just my personal opinion.

And I had no problem with just biting. That isn't even the most uncommon thing. But he did mention something early that I should have taken as a red flag. And he want wanted to make sure that I was okay with him biting me, because he didn't want me to come back later and say that he abused me, which I thought was really weird considering he had never hurt me before, and so why would I call it abuse, and why was he thinking about that? And I thought he was being sweet, checking on me to make sure that I was still comfortable, but of course I was, because he hadn't hurt me. And why would I think he ever would?

And then he did for the first time, by accident. And I don't specifically remember the actual first time that he bit me too hard by accident, because I didn't think that it would be significant. I thought that it would only happen once. And he started biting me more and more over a period of time, sort of throughout the whole relationship, and accidents of him biting too hard and really hurting me happened more and more frequently. But he always seemed genuinely sorry, and he decided that he didn't want to keep accidentally hurting me. So we were going to use a safeword so he could learn where my limit was, where my pain tolerance ended. And saying that out loud now doesn't sound - like, that's not very sound logic. But at the time, I thought he cared about not hurting me, but in reality it's like, why are you biting so hard? And why do you have to bite so hard? And it shouldn't be that hard of a problem to stop. That shouldn't be that hard.

And he disguised it as this really quirky part of our relationship, and was so comfortable sharing it with his friends, to the point that he would do it in front of them. He thought it was this really funny story to tell, and a good bit to take my arm and bite me in front of everybody until I literally shout in pain. And then I have to laugh it off, because I'm so embarrassed and I don't want to cause a scene in front of our friends, and I'm sure everyone was a little bit uncomfortable, but as long as I was saying that it was fine, nobody really felt like they needed to be concerned, and that's not anybody's fault, because I was lying. I was lying, and it wasn't fine, because I would go home later and I'd tell him how uncomfortable I was, how much I didn't like being hurt all the time, and I needed him to really stop biting so hard. I didn't like it, and I tried telling him over and over again, because he-

[VOD cuts] - asked him to stop again. This time he said, This is who he is. He isn't going to change. Those were his words. And I remember a lot of specifically his words about certain things, especially at the end, because I'm good at remembering words. Especially his wording, I became really good at remembering, because he was constantly contradicting himself. And I would notice, but most of the time it wasn't worth picking a fight over. But he would fight me on it sometimes, cause I would point it out, and he would insist that he had never said the thing

that he said, he definitely did say. And then he would say something like, "How are you so sure you're remembering correctly? Why are you always right?" And he definitely said the things that I heard him say, and other people heard him say.

So he had, now, at this point, weaponized the safeword, and was using it to ensure that I was hurt and on a constant basis, and he wasn't sorry anymore. I couldn't even tell you the last time he had apologized for doing it anymore, because now sometimes he would bite me, and I would yell out the safeword because it hurt so bad, and he'd clamp down even harder. Just for a second, just for good measure, before letting go. And sometimes I'd say the safeword, and he'd grind his teeth down on my skin, and sometimes he'd smile after, like a gloating grin.

And during this time I was filled with so much anxiety all the time that I was constantly nauseous, gagging daily, on occasion throwing up because of the pit that was in my stomach. I never told him about that, though. I was going and running away quietly to throw up in the toilet and rejoin our group of friends. But I felt so unwanted and ignored. And I would tell him that, and then he would reassure me that he wanted to be together and he loved me. He loved me more than I loved him, even. He would always insist that that was true. Like that, "I love you." "I love you more." But he was, like, really serious about it.

And looking back, I do believe that the way I was swept off my feet at the beginning of this relationship was 100% love bombing. And we were friends for a time. At least, people would have thought that, actually, but I use the word "friend" very loosely, because we had actually never spoke to each other outside of group chats we were in together, like, a handful of times throughout the whole time that we knew each other, but did not talk to each other. so I wouldn't have even called him my friend. Until he found out I was single, waited a few weeks to reach out, and then we started a friendship. And then that friendship turned romantic, and then he made these huge romantic gestures. He wrote me the most beautiful love letter that I had ever read. He called me his soulmate. He talked about forever one month in. He told me he hadn't been in a relationship in 5 years. He thought he could never find love again before he met me. He said he wanted someone to grow with. He wanted to be a dad. He had all his names picked out. And I didn't have a preference, because my feeling of it is, if the timing is right, and with the right person I could. But if that doesn't work out in time, or the timing, you know, I'm not super pressed about it.

But I started opening my mind up to the idea with him, because it seemed so important to him. And I kept trying to talk to him to figure out where he was later on when I could tell things were declining, and now, all of a sudden he's telling me he's not sure he wants kids at all. In fact, he has never been attached to the idea of kids. And I told him that isn't what he said before, and he said he's allowed to change his mind. And I'm of the opinion that in a relationship, there are a few things that you are not actually allowed to change your mind without letting your partner know. I think that kids is one of them. It wasn't even important to me. And I think marriage is one of them, so I brought that up next. And I asked if he still wanted marriage. He said he wanted to marry me. And then he said now, "I'm not the-" this is a quote, "I'm not the commitment guy. You know that."

I didn't know that. Why are you dating me? In fact, he was telling me the exact opposite every day. He would tell me he still wanted to be together. He wanted to work on all of the problems. He wanted me at the end of everything. He did not want to break up. He made that very clear.

I have, though, caught him in lies before, but usually it was small stuff, and again, I didn't want to - It wasn't anything that ever seemed worth rocking the boat over. Which isn't normal for me. I hate lies. And yet I ended up lying for him. But he had lied about big things, and he had also been caught lying by his friends numerous times. So this is something that he feels is acceptable to do.

And everything reached a breaking point when he was about to leave for an extended period of time. We were not going to see each other very much- a few days out of every few months. And now suddenly he is dumping all of these problems that he has been having feelings about all of this time later. At one point he said he's been feeling this way a couple months. At another point he says he's been feeling this way for six months, immediately contradicting himself in the same conversation. And with no time to do anything about it. I arrive the one of- Never mind. I'm going to get to something later. But I literally arrived for 3 days for this conversation to happen and then leave.

(cat mews) My cat just woke up and she's not usually awake right now. (leans to cat, offscreen) Hi, my love. It's really close to her dinner time. I should have fed her early.

So, no time to fix any of the problems all of a sudden, because there are three days before he leaves. And he insisted he did not want to break up. And so he was expecting me to have a solution somehow magically, and I gave a number of solutions that would have a way forward for us to be together, but he refused to make any compromise whatsoever. And he said that the relationship was starting to feel like a responsibility towards the end. Also his words. So it wasn't a responsibility the whole rest of the time to him.

And he was at this point basically flaunting that he would never prioritize me over anything. (talking to cat, indistinct) And I wasn't even asking for literally even the bare minimum. I was asking for so little. And he - I was watching him give exactly what I was needing in the relationship all over the place to anybody else who just happened to ask and just wasn't me.

And also, he was never going to prioritize me over anything that would give him more fame or money. In fact, he said that himself. That was exactly why he was not going to compromise at all for a solution for us to be together, because he said he wanted to see how much fame and money he could get. And I just thought we wanted to be together. I thought that's what we both wanted, because that's what he was still saying he wanted, too.

But then he also admitted to me that he had grown to resent me. And I have to be thankful that he said that bit out loud - a lot of these bits, he said out loud - because that was the last push that I needed to get myself out. He had grown resentful, which I also pointed out that there was no reason to feel that way, and he admitted that there was no reason for him to feel that way either. I think that it was because I'm someone who can communicate how I feel.

But I don't know. I have a lot of theories and reasons why I believe things happened the way that they did, and why he was lying all of the time. But he was resentful of me, was causing me physical harm every day, multiple times a day, despite me telling him over and over again to stop. He wasn't going to change and he wasn't going to end the relationship. He was going to keep hurting me, and it was possibly going to escalate even further. So I broke up with him. And I didn't even want to, because I couldn't even see for such a long time after what it really was that had

happened, that he had abused me. And in fact we left things as, we want to be friends, and he can never imagine not speaking to me again. And then he never spoke to me again, outside of, like, a couple of exchanges where I needed to ask for my clothes to be shipped, so at least I got my clothes back. I had a whole closet full. However, he did throw away all of my other things without saying a word to me about it. Hundreds of dollars of things from my office were trashed without a word. And I didn't block him till 10 months later because I wanted an open door still. I really thought I wanted to be his friend. But, uh, I don't feel that way anymore.

I do believe he was bottling up so many emotions, and he would never talk about how he felt. I think he even - I mean, he did admit that he felt like he couldn't say it any sooner, like there was just no possible way to say how he was feeling sooner than the absolute last possible chance. Not even a chance, because 3 days before he left - that was actually a lie too, also. He didn't leave for another week after I left. He brought me in, had this three-day conversation. He was supposed to leave, and then he stayed for another week before he left with all of the friends that I was also meant to see, but he had lied to me about the dates, too.

But I do believe that he was bottling up so many emotions that he was taking it out on me physically. I believe there was a moment where he knew that he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore, and instead of just ending it, he tried to push me away any way he knew would hurt me. And he knew all of the ways that would hurt me the most. And he knew he was hurting me. There was no way that he didn't know, because of the safeword that he made, and he just didn't care. He was hurting me, and he didn't care, and even looked like he was enjoying it sometimes.

And I can look back now and I can see all these instances that were really major red flags. There was this one time that he pinned me down and asked me to try my absolute hardest to get him off of me. And I couldn't do it, obviously, and he said something to make the point that he was so much stronger than me that I wouldn't be able to fight him back. Fight back against what? What do you mean? You don't say shit like that to people. That's insane. And I was also sexually assaulted by my first boyfriend, and he knew that.

He had stopped giving anything to the relationship, and he said that why was because he was just waiting for things to change on their own. He said he also didn't have the time or energy anyway to do the things that I was asking for, but then would constantly make any bit of time and energy for anybody and anything but me. And he would say he wanted more quality time, so then I would try to arrange things for us to do online because we were long distance, but then he would complain that he doesn't want to spend all of his time on the computer anymore. And then we'd be there in person and all he wants to do is stay inside, play games on his computer, watch movies. He doesn't want to go out.

And I'm not saying any of this next part to be mean. He lived in filth like I have never seen. And I've seen filth. This was the worst. He would spill things on the floor and never, literally never clean them up. He got an ant infestation once, and wasn't going to do anything about it because he said he said "Bugs are normal in British houses," so I had to buy ant killer. And he wouldn't clean his bathroom for months and months and months, but would constantly complain about how bad it smelled, and I would tell him, "That's mold. It's mold." He complained about being tired all the time, too, which I don't know if that was a lie or not, but mold will do that too. But he would insist that it wasn't, somehow, without having cleaned in months, but it's not mold.

When I met him, he was washing his clothes without detergent. Just he wasn't using that at all, and I don't know for how long before I met him. He was just running it with water and then hanging it on his filthy kitchen cabinets. And I felt bad. I felt bad because I felt like he needed someone to help him learn how to be cleaner. I thought he just didn't know how. And I listened to all of the struggles of his upbringing, and I was like, he just doesn't know how. Someone just needs to show him. And then I found out that he said he doesn't clean at all when I'm not there, because he just waits for me to get there to do it. And I only found out about that after we broke up, because he said it behind my back.

I was doing all of the cleaning and laundry for him. Also, I had a separate bathroom. I want to make that clear I wasn't using that bathroom. I had a separate bathroom that I cleaned for myself. I had cleaning supplies. I don't think he even actually knew I had cleaning supplies in there. But I had my own bathroom.

All the cleaning, all the laundry, all of it. I was paying for all of the, like, paper towels, soap. All of that only stayed in the house so long as I was buying it. I would arrive and there would just not be toilet paper in the whole house. There were paper towels instead. And who knows for how long, too. I was paying for food more than half the time, because he would often push me into ordering food for us, even if I had paid for the last meal or the meal before that. And I'm of the opinion now that I shouldn't have been paying for any food. None at all, But I wanted to, at least, I thought I was being equal by at least doing, like, a back and forth. But I ended up paying for food more often than just going back and forth anyway. And he would do this to his friends all the time, too.

But I was also paying for every plane ticket and the catsitter, which cost roughly the amount of a plane ticket to England. And he never offered to help me pay after the couple of times he did come here to visit me, because he paid for the flights that we would both take. But that only happened twice at the very beginning. I have actually had a friend tell me that this is financial abuse, but I don't know enough about that to say for myself. But I was telling him that I couldn't afford it all by myself all the time, because I was losing money. I was never able to work properly there, and he wasn't traveling at all to see me anymore, even though he said he would. That was, like, the basis of our entire relationship starting off. So then he agreed to pay for the catsitter so that it would be basically paying half the cost of my travels. And he did that once. (pause) And then never did it again despite many more months of dating. And I was traveling often. I had to, because he was worried that we weren't spending enough quality time together. And then all of the time that he would have ever extra, he would choose - choose - to not spend it on me, because there was an available choice and he chose not to spend it with me often.

And I did everything short of just up and move there, which I was willing to do the whole time, and I told him that I was willing to do it and he knew, but he insisted that I don't. He insisted not to. He was planning to move here. That was supposed to happen first. And then at the end of the relationship, he said maybe things would have been different if I lived there. If I lived there, like I had said I would the whole time, and he insisted I don't. Maybe that could have saved the relationship.

And I say all of this because I believe that people like this are genuinely dangerous. I believe he is dangerous. He was willing to lie. He was willing to do harm to someone he claimed to love more than anyone he has ever loved. His actions escalated, and I don't think that I'll be the last person that he hurts. And I felt like sharing my story was really important to warn people. I want people to see the signs that I refused to. I want you to listen to your body and get out as soon as possible. Tell your friends the truth and let them help you.

I really thought I couldn't - because I had been sexually assaulted in a previous relationship. I just thought I was so much smarter. And I was like, if someone ever laid their hands on me, I'd leave immediately. It would never happen a second time. But you just, it just kind of happened so slowly over time, and got worse and worse and worse until the point where there's no way to deny the fact that he was hurting me and he knew and didn't care. That's just the kind of thing that I keep repeating to myself when I'm like, "But was it bad enough? It wasn't violent enough." But I was being hurt multiple times every single day, days and days and days and days for a month at a time in a row.

And I'm not even speaking on most - because I did touch on other things, but I am not even speaking on most of the other things that, in my opinion, I do think that there are some things that are across a line that make you a bad person. I don't think that most people can be defined in a black-and-white "you're good or you're bad," but I do believe that there's a line that you can cross, and only bad people will do the things on the other side of that line, you know what I mean?

And the number of - (voice breaks, covers her mouth) I only cry now when I'm talking about my friends! Who also dealt with such shitty things from shitty people! But I'm also so, so grateful for all of my friends who were with me through this whole thing, and my friends who also were experiencing similar sorts of situations, at the same time, and we kind of went through it together. So I think they are the strongest people in the whole world, and they made me feel like the strongest people in the whole world today. Did I call myself people? I meant person. I feel like the strongest people - (laughs) I did it again. I feel like the strongest person. They made me feel so brave. I felt impenetrable today.

But I am going to go now because my friends are coming over and we're immediately going to go become distracted by watching Love is Blind. I already watched all of it already, and I don't care. So thank you for listening. Thank you everyone who gifted subs. I am going to be taking the rest of the week off from streaming. I have a video going out on Saturday, and I'll be back next week, and you won't hear about any of this again for a while, probably, but thank you all.

I don't really even know what to do now. I think I'm just going to end. Go spread love all over the place on Twitch right now, and I'll see you.

#shubble #shubble vods #wilbur situation #abuse tw #abuse cw #Youtube

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fxrmuladaydreams · 11 months

Note

Could you write something about (I don’t know of you seen the whole Taylor swift and Travis kelce) but maybe something like that with Danny and famous!reader who shows up for the US gp with enchante merch but they’ve actually been dating for a while. Thank you!

send me daniel thoughts (sfw & nsfw) for danny ric weekend ~today is the last day~

Photos of you flooded practically every social media platform there was. After releasing a new album that topped the charts and announcing a tour to go along with it, fans were eating up any and all content they could get from you.

People were surprised to see you in the AlphaTauri social media feed. Usually someone with as big a name as you would be a guest at a bigger garage, like Red Bull or Mercedes. But photos of you hanging out with Daniel and Yuki, wearing an AlphaTauri cap on your head had been circulating like crazy.

You watched the race from the garage with a set of headphones over your ears. Your eyes were glued to the screens in the surrounding area, watching the cars zoom around the track.

You felt a chill creep up your spine, and grab onto your sweatshirt, pulling it over you to keep warm. A camera had happened to catch you doing so, and in turn gave anyone who was watching the race a view of your new attire. The large Enchante logo now on display for everyone.

Fans went crazy. All of a sudden Twitter was flooded with conspiracy theories about you and Daniel. Are you two dating? Is that why you were an AlphaTauri guest? How long had you and the Australian driver actually known each other?

You and Daniel had discussed this before the race, knowing that it would create an uproar, but after being together in secret for so long you both decided that you were ready to share your relationship with the rest of the world.

You were there to greet Daniel as soon as he was finished with his post race media duties. His skin was shiny with sweat, his dark curls sticking to his forehead. As soon as he saw you a grin broke out on his face. Even a poor result couldn’t shake the pure joy he had from seeing you.

You threw your arms around each other as Daniel lifted you off the ground and spun you around. He ducked his head down to press a kiss against your lips. It was a little sloppy, his hands awkwardly gripping onto your hips, and the brim of his hat bumping against your head.

Yuki was able to take a photo of the shared moment between the two of you and sent it to you. You later posted the photo together with the caption -

I’ve loved you three summers now honey, but I want ‘em all

#daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #dr3 #danny ric weekend

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eoieopda · 1 year

Text

FORCE QUIT // MASTERLIST

“And we’re going to burn it all down.” He hits you with a devilish grin, drops his voice low in a way that makes you shiver involuntarily. “The corpo-rats, the lies they sell — all of it.”

pairing: skz x afab!reader — varies per episode summary: it's 2077, and life's a fucking nightmare. corporate titans ate the state and shat it back out, leaving citizens of the new republic to fall in line, or fall to their knees. a reckoning is coming — where will you fall? series au: dystopian, cyberpunk ➢ insp. by: cyberpunk 2077 + the true lives of the fabulous killjoys series genre: smut + angst, primarily. series word count: 50-60k (estimated) rating: 18+ — minors do not have my consent to interact. status: ongoing as of november 2023 series warnings: it's a capitalist hellscape.... lol, civil disobedience, acts of violence (hand-to-hand, firearms, explosives), depictions of injuries (blood, bruising, etc.) but nothing grotesque, some characters have cybernetic modifications, class conflict + discussions of poverty, surprise - corporations are bad!, references to unethical medical/tech experimentation, reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns, see episodes (when posted) for specific CWs. ➢ inclusivity edits made + warnings/notes updated on 8/6/24. ➢ important notes (incl. taglist) + episode descriptions are below the cut.

important notes:

➢ each episode features a different member x reader pairing, but the plot is linear, so you'd need to read them (in order) to get the full picture! ➢ each episode's reader has a nickname, which is 1) also the episode title, 2) how other characters (and i as a writer) refer to them across the series. ➢ you can sign up for the taglist to be notified of uploads. you must sign up through this link to be tagged; i won't be pulling people from comments, DMs, etc. because that's too hard to keep track of, lol. i'm checking every blog that signs up to make sure that everyone is 18+.

episode i: scraps — released 11/6/23

pairing: trainer!felix x edgerunner!reader au: childhood friends to strangers to something summary: you didn't have "anti-capitalist revolution" on this year's bingo card, but you never turn down a good time. wc: 15.4k

episode ii: the professor — released 12/3/23.

pairing: recon!hyunjin x defector!reader au: secret relationship summary: until now, hyunjin's never met a problem that subterfuge and violence couldn't solve. wc: 10.6k

episode iii: spider — released 3/9/24.

pairing: combat leader!minho x hacker!reader au: fuck buddies to lovers summary: somebody has to make sure you make it through the firefight alive. wc: 23.5k

episode iv: doc — release date tbd.

pairing: leader!chan x medic!reader au: established relationship, hurt/comfort summary: when the world ends, who's going to hold your hand?

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hockeyandhrsepwr · 1 year

Text

Life Lessons: The Intro

Fresh of a world tour, y/n l/n announces her next album.....

Life Lessons Masterlist

yourusername

liked by fan28, user0929 and others

yourusername Life Lessons. Coming soon.

view all comments

fan1 askkskakskwek

fan39 new music?! ahhhhh

fan37 babe the cover pic?! who hurt you

usert882 When??

yourusername soon:)

Notes

Notes pop star y/n l/n announces new album: Life Lessons. To learn more about the album, check out our conversation with the young talent at this link

What’s next for y/n?

By Michelle F.

July 20, 2023

On the eve of y/n l/ns final date for her sold out world tour, I receive a phone call. It’s an invitation to the show in Paris La Defense Arena, and the opportunity to speak to y/n about what’s coming next for the pop sensation. A no brainer really. I’ve been following y/ns journey pretty much since she came onto the scene and to hear that she personally requested me to speak to? That was a shock but an absolute honour. So I hop on the Eurostar and make my way to the City of Love, Lights and Dreams.

A mere three hours later I’m waiting in the wings as Y/n takes the stage to a deafening crowd. The Monaco native cracks a joke in french, later translated as a slight dig at the French but all in good fun. The performance is electric as y/n performs tracks from her first three albums, all of which took the world by storm and dominated charts. One of my favourite shows that I’ve been to in a while. Keep reading to hear more about our conversation after the show.

Michelle: Hi y/n! That was an incredible show!

Y/n: Oh thank you Michelle, youre too kind.

M: How does it feel, being onstage and performing for that large of a crowd? Tonight’s was pretty big but not the largest of your tour, correct?

Y: I think we had a few bigger, but it’s hard to explain. This is something I’ve dreamed of for my entire life so even though its nerve wracking, I know that I’m where I want to be. This tour has been pretty eye opening! Tonight was special though! I’ve been to many a concert in those stadium with my friends, since it was the closest major arena to Monaco so we could just hop on a train and see our favourite artists and make a girl trip out of it.

M: That sounds so fun! This was your first tour headlining, what did you find was the biggest difference between that and opening? You opened for Ed Sheeran on his tour after the release of your second album and now for your third youre headlining.

Y: besides people being here mostly to see me, not someone else, longer sets is the biggest difference. But i’m working with lots of the same crew that worked on the tour with Ed so it’s been pretty epic!

M: So the big question, what’s next?

Y: well….I might have something coming soon.

M: oh, do tell! A new album?

Y: I guess I can tell you :) My next album, Life Lessons, will be releasing pretty soon.

M: tell me everything? When are we looking at release? What’s it all about? Track names?

Y: haha, no definite date yet, but it will be soon (she winks). As for what it’s about, life. It’s been about three years in the making, so the lessons that I’ve learned over the past three years. Track names you’ll find out along with everyone else haha

M: I guess I can accept that. Three years? How so?

Y: well, its a series of songs that I’ve written over the past 3 years at varying points and finally decided, you know what, lets release them and see what people think.

M: will it be similar to your previous albums, stylistically, or will we see something more than the indie pop sound we’ve come to know from you?

Y: Everything really. my usual (she air quotes) sound, but some songs with slightly different vibes. There may even be a few country inspired.

M: Country’s a new genre for you. Are you a big fan normally?

Y: oh absolutely. Its nowhere near as popular here in Europe, but my granddad is from Georgia so I grew up with it in the house. When I was putting all the lyrics to music, a few of them I wanted to have a country feel, so I reached out to few friends and got opinions and everyone loved it. I decided that I dont mind if my fans dont love those songs, this album is for me. I hope they do, of course, but it is a different genre than my normal so I’d understand if they dont vibe with them as much as my other songs.

M: Speaking of friends, any co-writers or collaborators on this album? You recently had a track with your ex boyfriend Noah Kahan on his album. Is he returning the favour?

Y: ha, nope. This one is all me. My producer and best friend, Bella, and my tour band helped with laying down the tracks, but lyrics are all me.

M: well I’m excited. And sorry to bring it up, but your realtionship with Noah, did that provide any inspiration for the album?

Y: yes, but probably not in the way people will be expecting. Noahs great though. We were great friends before our fling started and we’ve stayed good friends after. We all have those moments right, where we think that trying to be more is a good idea. He’s an incredible guy though.

M: So does the album follow any kind of order?

Y: Somewhat chronological over the period but nothing concrete.

M: well y/n I hope our readers feel the same but I can’t wait!! I’ll be impatiently waiting for the release. Thank you again for taking to time to talk to me today. Enjoy the little break you’ll have!!

Y: thanks Michelle, I’m sure well talk soon!

Get excited readers, this album is going to be special.

#charles leclerc x reader #forumla 1 #f1 imagine #charles leclerc #f1 instagram au #jj writes shit #life lessons:the album #ferrari #formula 1 imagine #instagram au #charles leclerc fic #f1 blurb #f1 series #Charles Leclerc x famous reader #exes to lovers #maybe;)

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4beomy · 2 years

Text

not boyfriend material | c.yj

choosing to live with a complete stranger was...not the smartest thing you've chosen to do. but it's okay! it can't be too bad. well, except it is. it is bad. especially when an argument leads you to stupidly sleep with your roommate! ...is it possible to keep your relationship strictly on the basis of sexual pleasure?! you think it is, because frankly, your roommate isn't what you'd exactly consider ...boyfriend material. Release Date: DEC 19, 2022 [actual date, no changes]

genre: fluff, comedy, angst, brief sfw smut, enemies to lovers (more dislike than hate..if that makes sense), friends with benefits, slow burn

teaser word count: 0.7k

fic word count:

taglist: open (send in asks or comment)

“Don’t you think that was a bit harsh?”, his voice was low and quiet, seeming like he wasn’t sure of what he was saying. But that only angered you even more. You turn after stopping in your tracks, facing him again.

“Harsh? Harsh? How was that in any way harsh?”

With your firm tone, his hesitation dissipated. “They’re our guests! And it’s a fucking housewarming party. We were celebrating me moving then you had to go and ruin it—”

You scoff, a mocking, exaggerated smile appearing on your face. “Our guests? I ruined it? How about not being a conceited asshole and think about the people around you for just a second! I came from work exhausted to find the whole place wrecked and you think I’m harsh? I ruined your stupid excuse of a housewarming party? You should've told me first!”, for the second time, you resort to running a hand through your tangled hair, so incredibly pissed to the point frustrated, dried laughs were echoing the room.

He takes his phone out all of a sudden then faces it to you, “Show me where your contact number is on here.”

You can feel your jaw tick, “Wow—just wow. You’re shameless.” and he just scoffs, putting his phone back in his pocket. “See? How was I supposed to tell you if I don’t even have your number?”

“We live together for fucksakes!”

“Have you ever initiated the fact that you wanted to talk to me? I don’t think we talked once living together for what—like two weeks?”, his eyebrows were furrowed, and now it seemed like he was the one wronged, not you.

“Can you just—can you just shut up?”, all you wanted was those pink, slightly, but perfectly glossy, plump lips to just close shut. Not one more word out of them and you think you’d possibly be the happiest person in the world.

“Oh? Is it because I’m winning right now?”, he taunts.

“God, I never knew someone could be so childish. Win? Win what?!”

He takes a step closer to you, tilting his head, his earrings dangling to the side, “The argument we’re having–”

“Are you not going to say sorry?”, your voice dropped octaves, him being closer making this more of a vulnerable situation.

With the way his lips curled up, shaking his head so subtly no one would notice if they weren’t as close as you were now, you could already predict when he moves his lips to say something, “Nop–”

With a split second, your anger had already reached its all time peak, and you let everything in you go. Your hands harshly grabbed the sides of his face, crashing your lips onto him. Shut up. Just shut up.

There wasn’t even a second of hesitation on his end, he immediately reciprocated the kiss, melting at the way it was so angry.

But it didn’t last long because you pulled away the moment you realized what you were doing. Your hands were still on his face, your eyes wide looking at his now redder lips. He tries to lean in again but you already backed away from him, Yeonjun's confusion overtaking any memory of the fact that he was just arguing with you a few seconds ago.

“Fuck—fuck, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what–” You stop at seeing the expression on his face – it was so…’why the fuck did you stop’ ...if that even made sense. And your response was silence...well not...only silence. Your eyes were doing most of the talking, shamefully wandering to his lips again.

When he stepped closer, you tried backing up – but you couldn’t – you wouldn't. You were frozen. It was like you physically wanted to feel his lips on you again, like your brain was fighting with the control your heart irrationally had on your body.

A smirk appeared on his face like he just got the best idea ever. “I’m not going to say sorry” you furrow your eyebrows, confused. He continues, “Because you act like this is your place. I have every right to throw a party without your stupid ‘permission’. I pay to stay here too–” With every word, they became more like venom to you, with the way he'd get louder and all of a sudden, the subtle height difference becoming incomprehensibly large, and most importantly, what he was saying, what he was implying. You have no control of your own home.

Needless to say, any sort of apologetics drowned. You were back to square one, anger.

Your bag slipped from your shoulder, the drop on the floor echoing in the room.

Oh he was smart.

You don’t know how you ended up being pressed against the outside walls of your room, eyes squeezed shut as his teeth harshly nibbled on your neck, your breathe hitching once too many times, but you don’t care. You’d guessed it was because of your irrational decision making skills but so what. So what if you gravely regret doing this as soon as you wake up tomorrow?

a/n: this fic is not smut centered because it was originally purely angsty fluff but then i thought it could fit? and i find writing a fwb relationship so fun...so!! a lot (all) of the smut leans more towards the suggestive side/vanilla but i did make sure to include lots of sexual tension if anyone finds this through the smut tags.. T-T a lot of this fic is under constant reconstruction and editing/changes being made, so i'm not even sure if this exact excerpt would make it through the final cut (which is stupid for me to do but i couldnt wait to post this draft anymore..T-T) also, this specific part isn't a representative of how the rest of the fic would go, most of it again, would be fluff, and stupid comedy (that i very much laugh at with no shame).

#txt fluff #txt x you #txt oneshots #txt angst #txt smut #yeonjun x you #yeonjun x y/n #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun smut #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun oneshot #beomgyu x reader #taehyun x reader #soobin x reader #beomgyu smut #soobin smut #yeonjun suggestive

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trashcanwithsprinkles · 9 months

Note

Would that mean Ajax has an unusually vested interest in the other nations after everything in Liyue is sorted? Like- keeping an eye on the Gunnhilder clan, or the Ragvindr’s? Would he have a vested interest in seeing the Dawn Winery form and thrive? Would he keep an eye out for news from Inazuma about the Kamisatos, Kaedehara clan, and how the Yokai are doing? There’s a lot of funky things Ajax could be tracking and or meddling with and I love that for him

oh absolutely. ajax would find a way to build himself a little news chain just to keep up on Blorbo Release Dates and accidentally install the greatest intelligence gathering network in teyvat

and like- nobody would realize at first since it'd happen so slowly, but by one point some couple of centuries down the line guizhong would be like- sorry, how do you know this? and ajax would just cassually drop that ah yes [instert someone's name here] told him and guizhong and morax would sit there like. who- who's that and ajax would drop the whole oh y'know i made some friends, i got some people to pass me some info back, usual stuff and guizhong would stare bc ajax is just casually revealing he has created a both open-secret yet completely unknown network of entirely random individuals who just- pass gossip along, and it all eventually goes back to ajax. most of that network is made up of volchiy travelers who pick up info on the coasts and directly report back to him.

#it just sounds so hilarious to me but also so canon #my man was part of the fatui he knows how intelligence gathering works #he also knows how to get people to be his informants without really having to coerce them into anything #but since it's all in the name of knowing when tf like- noelle is going to be born #it just doesn't really register in his brain as a covert spy and sleeper agent network #which is kinda what it will become #like imagine when someone else accidentally uncovers this rabbit hole and like- gets scared of the possibilities #like what sucha huge info network could be used for #but then it turns out the man gathering all that info is doing fuckall with it #like ??????????????????????#whoever finds out outside of the guili assembly circle is going to become so deathly afraid of ajax lmao #anyway- thank you for the ask! you're correct hahah

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betterthanburrow · 1 year

Text

Mr. Quarterback and Ms. Songbird - Instagram AU

(LSU Quarterback! Joe Burrow x Songwriter! OC)

liked by joeyb_9, and 1,075,250 more users

yourinstagram: i know i released my debut album a few months ago, but i’ll always be writing new song ☁️

tell me what your top 3 songs are from the album!

view all 590,721 comments

yourmom: Track 1, Track 5, and Track 11.

↳ yourinstagram: good choices mom!

username1: Track 3, Track 4 and Track 7!

yoursister: Track 10, Track 11, and Track 12

↳ yourinstagram: do you only like the songs on the album that you are featured on/are about you?!

↳ yoursister: yes!

username2: i need you to release this song now… and my top 3 songs are Track 1, Track 9, and Track 13!

joeyb_9: Track 2, Track 6, and Track 8 (and this new song is so beautiful Ms. SongBird)

↳ yourinstagram: that’s a good top 3 list (and thank you for the compliment on the song Mr. Quarterback)

liked by yourinstagram and 569,001 more users

JBURROW_DAILY: LSU Quarterback Joseph Burrow revealed during his interview with Sports Center that the album he has on repeat right now to help him prepare for the National Championship Football Game against Clemson is Y/FN Y/LN’s debut album.

view all 202,895 comments

username1: i don’t know who this man is because i don’t keep updated with football stuff… but he sounded so cute and shy when he started talking bout Y/FN’s debut album, his favorite songs of hers, and how he needs more new music from her soon.

username2: i think the cutest part was when the interviewer asked if he would be attending Y/N’s sold out concert in Baton Rouge (which is happening only a few days before the football game) and all Joe could do was blush and smile 🥹

username3: i wonder if Y/N and Joe know each other because Y/N has been living in Louisiana these past few years… and obviously Joe goes to school at LSU.

↳ username4: i just checked… and they do follow each other on instagram, so maybe they’re friends and he’s just supporting her album by giving it promotion?!

liked by joeyb_9, yourmom and 955,240 more users

yoursister: good things come in threes!

view all 557,290 comments

yourmom: my beautiful daughters 🖤

username1: i can’t believe i got to see Y/N and her little sister perform their collaboration song LIVE!

↳ username2: i need Y/N’s sister to release her own album soon and not just song covers!

↳ yoursister: one day it will happen!

yourinstagram: 🤍🤍🤍

liked by 585,107 users

Y/FN_WORLD: THIS WAS POSTED AND IMMEDIATELY DELETED BY Y/N’S LITTLE SISTER?!

view all 337,980 comments

username1: WAIT… IS THIS REAL OR A PRANK?!

↳ username2: IT’S REAL… THIS IS MY SCREENSHOT!

username3: EVERYONE ON TWITTER IS SAYING ITS JOE BUTROW AND I THINK THEY’RE RIGHT!

username4: DID Y’ALL SEE THE THREAD ON TWITTER THAT GOING VIRAL OF THE “PROOF” OF Y/FN AND JOE DATING?!

↳ username5: WAIT I DON’T HAVE TWITTER… WHATS THE “PROOF”?!

↳ username4: someone made a thread explaining how Joe and Y/N have been interacting publicly on social media lately + how they have nicknames for each other (Mr. Quarterback and Ms. Songbird) and how Joe acted in the Sports Center interview when talking about Y/N, her music, and when talking about going to the concert (a lot of people on Twitter that attended the concert are saying that he was at the concert but there aren’t any pictures or videos of him yet.)

username3: i wonder if Y/N and Joe were planning on making their relationship public soon since they had started interacting with each other on social media?!

username6: i know that everyone is surprised but since Y/N’s little sister deleted the story i think it’s clear that understand that it was possibly for Y/N little sister’s close insta-story and not for the public to see… we know that Y/N’s little sister would never purposely expose Y/N’s privacy so i hope she’s doing alright and doesn’t blame herself for this mistake.

username7: if it really is an honest mistake that Y/N’s little sister made… let’s hope Y/N isn’t mad at her because the last time someone close to Y/N exposed information about Y/N’s quiet life, she was very mad.

liked by joeyb_9, and 1,785,009 more users

yourinstagram: after-concert vibes ��🎤

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yourmom: you’re a gorgeous angel!

username1: if the rumors are true… Joe is a lucky man.

yoursister: tonight was a fun night! (i’m also letting you know now that i will be borrowing the dress)

↳ yourinstagram: last time you borrowed one of my dresses… i never saw the dress again so no!

username2: so… we’re not going address the elephant in the room 👀

joeyb_9: it was a fun concert Ms. Songbird!

↳ yourinstagram: i’m glad you enjoyed it Mr. Quarterback

liked by yourinstagram and 609,745 more users

joeyb_9: Lots of setbacks, disappointments, and failures along my journey. Injuries, position battles, transfer, through all of it I just kept my head down, worked, and tried to get better every day. Now.... I am a Champion.

view all 130,769 comments

lahjay10_: 🔥🔥🔥

LSU: #9 on the football field, #1 in our hearts 💜

mamaburrow: i’m so proud of you and the team!

yourinstagram: congratulations on the victory, you deserve all the success in the world Mr. Quarterback!

↳ joeyb_9: thank you for the kind words Ms. Songbird.

liked by yoursister and 2,001,909 more users

yourinstagram: Mr. Quarterback and Ms. SongBird.

view all 899,245 comments

joeyb_9: i love you Ms. Songbird 🤍

↳ yourinstagram: i love you too Mr. Quarterback 🤍

Author’s Note:

this is the first official “LSU! Joe Burrow” Instagram AU! i’ve had this Instagram AU in the queue for so many months and im glad that the IG AU finally being published!

if you want to request an Instagram AU, send the IG AU request to my Inbox and i will try to get the Instagram AU request published as soon as i can.

thank you all for the love and support! 🤍

#Joe Burrow #NFL #CFB #LSU Tigers #Cincinnati Bengals #Joe Burrow Fanfiction #Joe Burrow Fanfic #Joe Burrow Fic #Joe Burrow x Reader #Joe Burrow x OC #Joe Burrow x Y/N #Joe Burrow Instagram #Joe Burrow Instagram AU #Instagram #Instagram AU

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munamania · 8 months

Text

ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world

for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues

but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.

but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?

which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.

but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?

taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her

i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk

continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.

and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?

anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at

on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds

okay um. thanks 👍

tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us

#abby talks #well here’s a draft that i guess is relevant #taylor swift #swifties #swiftie #midnights #1989 #folklore #evermore #taylor’s version #travis kelce #long post #ok swiftie mutuals u better have my back here 😇👍

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