#and how close it gets to lucien's past

[fenharel-archived]

my favourite au to think about lately is the one where all my bg3 ocs are together in the same playthrough :3

[dbphantom]

this game is so pretty it's not fair

not pictured: lucien clipping through the floor behind me

[daycourtofficial]

Hello. If you don't mind can I request a fic with cassian with a shy reader where she and Cassian have been trying to get pregnant for years, but reader starts doubting herself when seeing the rest of the inner circle females like feyre and elain getting pregnant, and thinking cassian will leave her because it is taking them ages to get pregnant...but Cassian reassures her and all...and weeks later reader finds out she is pregnant and surprises cassian with the news...

Ask and you shall receive! This is actually super super cute so thank you for this request!

A Teeny, Tiny Illyrian Warrior

Summary: after years of trying, you break down crying to Cassian over your inability to conceive, only to find out several months later that you are expecting

It was irrational. You should be happy for Elain, sweet Elain who you considered a great friend. Elain, who after several years of healing, figured out what she wanted, and moved to live with Lucien to help rebuild the spring court, just announced she was pregnant.

Making her the third Archeron to be pregnant, with Nesta and Eris having a baby a few years prior.

It was exhausting. Everyone around you was churning out babies, except for you and Cassian. You’ve both wanted kids for so long, but when Rhys was trapped under the mountain, the two of you decided to pause your dreams to help run and maintain Velaris in his absence. The fear of a child growing up in Amarantha’s reign was terrifying enough to keep the dreams at bay.

The tonic you took every day to keep you from getting pregnant had felt like sewage down your throat.

When Rhys had returned, you were so excited not just for your brother in law’s return, but for what it meant for you and Cassian. You could try. And try you did. You let Amarantha stop you from conceiving, but the war with Hybern would do no such thing.

So the two of you spent the first few years excited, constantly tearing at each other’s clothes. Until your cycles would come. And come. And come, each one a reminder of what isn’t to come.

Then Feyre got pregnant, and you were ecstatic, over the moon. Then Nesta got pregnant a few years later. You were still happy, but the jealousy was clawing your throat. Now Elain’s pregnant, and it is taking every ounce of strength not to ask why her.

The past year sex has almost felt more like a chore than pleasure, your empty womb keeping both of you wanting more.

You plaster on a smile, congratulate the two of them, and after dinner you go and slink away into the bathroom, hide your head in your hands, and sob.

Sob because it should be you announcing your pregnancy. Sob because everyone should be happy for you. Sob because what if Cassian decides you’re not enough?

He sees all these females getting pregnant - what if he decides you’re the problem? He could find loads of females willing to fill that role. Does he wonder how quickly he could impregnate them?

Your sobs are so out of control that you don’t hear the door open and close and a body sits next to you.

“Here,” he says, handing you a handkerchief. You pull your hands away to find Azriel, your other brother in law.

You and Azriel were incredibly close - both of you perfect foils to Cassian’s loud, swaggering personality. The two of you were more quiet and observant, Cass being enough personality for the three of you.

You accept the handkerchief, wiping your eyes and blowing your nose, creating the ugliest noise imaginable.

Azriel stretches out his long legs, resting his back against the cabinet. “I know it’s hard,” he says, reaching out to rub your back, “but it will be okay.”

You lean into him, and choke out, “what if he decides I’m not enough? That he could easily find someone who is able to get pregnant?”

Azriel’s hand halts its soothing strokes for a brief moment before continuing. “If you think for one moment he would ever be separated from you by his own choice, think again.”

You go to respond but he cuts you off, “Cassian would cut off his own hand before willingly letting go of yours.”

You two sit there, his words echoing through your mind, when he starts again.

“For what it’s worth,” he says, standing up, “if your child has his eyes and your smile, it’ll blow all the other babies out of the water with its cuteness.”

You smile, accepting the hand he reaches out for you, “I always knew you had a soft spot for Cass’s eyes.”

He laughs, tucking your hand into his elbow to lead you out, “they’re just so pitiful. He pouts and he looks like a kicked puppy.”

You laugh, allowing him to escort you back to the dining room, back to your family.

Later that night, as you and Cassian are taking a bath, you decide to broach the subject that’s been bouncing around your head since Azriel found you in the bathroom.

“What if we stop trying?”

Cassian’s hand reaches up from behind you to cup your face, tilting your chin back so you can look at him, “Stop trying what?”

“Stop trying for a baby.”

His grin is gone immediately, about to ask if you’ve changed your mind, and you spin in his laps to meet his eyes.

You grab his chin and tell him, “I don’t mean like we give up. I mean we stop trying. Sex has felt like a chore for a while, and I miss it being fun. Now it’s just a means to an end.

“I want fun sex, I want dirty sex, I want it all. But I want to stop our ‘only doing this to have a baby’ sex. I won’t take the tonic, but I’m tired of the heartbreak. If it happens, it happens.”

He looks at you, your wet hair making you look even more like a goddess to him, as he cups your chin and asks, “are you sure, love?”

You smile, “yes. Maybe we can go back to trying in a bit, but I want a break. I don’t like the feelings it’s causing, like I broke down in tears earlier that you would leave me for a more breedable woman.”

Cassian snorts, “did you actually call them breedable women?”

You smack his arm, “poor Azriel found me a blubbering mess. I’m pretty sure he should just burn the handkerchief he gave me because all of the snot and tears made it gain five pounds.”

He chuckles, but then he looks at you, conveying every emotion he feels for you, and you know you were a fool for ever thinking he’d consider leaving you.

“Sweetheart, I would never leave you for such a thing. I want a baby, yes, but I want you more, and I would be perfectly content spending the next thousand years with only you by my side.”

Your legs bracket around his thighs, and you rub your fingers up his arms as you tell him, “I can think of a few ways we could spend those thousand years.”

He throws his head back laughing, and crashes his lips to yours.

-

It had been six months since Elain’s announcement, and the babe was here. Feyre and Rhys traveled to spring to go visit, leaving you, Cassian, and Azriel alone.

Cassian was out shopping for Solstice gifts, an activity you were going to join him for until you woke up not feeling well. After much convincing and promising him if you need anything you’ll get Az to get it for you, he went ahead without you, needing to pick up gifts before shops closed.

After spending the first hour of his departure in the bathroom throwing up what felt like all of your internal organs, you wandered out into the hallway in search of your husband’s brother.

After a fifteen minute search, you found him in the library reading what appears to be a romance novel that Nesta left behind.

“Doing some studying?” You ask, peering over his shoulder at the particularly raunchy scene he was reading.

He jumps, having had no idea of your intrusion. He clears his throat, asking, “weren’t you supposed to go shopping today?”

You walk around the couch, sitting next to him and looking at the cover of the book he was reading.

“I was, but felt ill so I stayed behind and convinced Cassian to go without me.”

He snorts, “bad idea. You reign him in a lot when it comes to gift giving, otherwise he forgets how much he’s already bought for someone and just buys more.”

You were about to agree, your husband’s joy at buying gifts knowing no bounds, when his brother stills, slowly sniffing the air and turning towards you and asking, almost accusatorially, “are you pregnant?”

You look at him, half tempted to yell at him over his inclusion of the sore subject. You felt freer these past few months, less bogged down by the negative emotions your inability to conceive was creating.

Azriel had seen it all with you, acting as a source of comfort during all the uncertainty the past sixty years have shown.

His asking that question and your earlier illness is what led the two of you to see Madja very quickly, who confirmed the pregnancy.

“How am I going to tell him?” You ask Azriel, as you two walk around the Sidra. You already felt guilty that Azriel had been the one with you when you found out and not Cassian, however that guilt subsided when you realized if you weren’t pregnant the disappointment on Cassian’s face would have ruined you.

“Well anytime anyone ever asks Cass for advice, he always steers them towards nudity.”

You laugh at how true the starement was. Feyre asking Cassian advice on a gift for Rhys? Nudity. Rhys asking for advice on a gift for Azriel? Nudity. He was a simple man, he’d tell them in response.

You pass by a baby shop and find your eyes drawn to it, your feet pulling you back in front of the door. Azriel follows your line of sight, sweeping his arm in front of you motioning ‘after you’.

The two of you walk around, looking through baby clothes when a sales associate comes and speaks to you. “Ah are you two expecting?” she chirps, looking pleasantly between the two of you.

You laugh while Azriel blushes and reply, “he’s my husband’s brother.”

The sales associate gapes, her jaw going slack. “Oh um okay, well it’s none of my business-“

Before she can finish rambling, Azriel cuts her off. “I’m helping her pick something out to tell my brother he’s going to be a dad to a child that is not mine.”

She looks between you two and laughs at the mistake. “Did you have anything in mind?”

You tell her that you actually had an idea.

-

When Cassian got home, he was tired from lugging around at least two dozen shopping bags. He was exhausted, but incredibly proud of himself because he’s fairly certain he was able to get gifts for everyone, meaning most, if not all, the shopping was done.

The house was quiet, so he took the opportunity to hide the ruby red necklace and earrings he got for you in this old dried fruit container he kept on a top shelf, a place you’d never search for, much less be able to see.

After the gift was tucked away, he began walking through the house trying to find you, deciding you’d likely be in your shared bedroom. Making his way there he stopped in the hallway, finding a tiny little baby sock on the floor.

He looks around, not finding anything else strange he picks it up and continues his search. Passing through the kitchen he found another baby sock, in the dining room he found a little tiny hat, in another hallway he found a little tiny pair of pants that look just like his fighting leathers.

There must be a naked baby running around here somewhere, he thinks.

Right outside the door to your shared room is a little shirt that also looks just like his fighting leathers, with teeny tiny slats in the back for wings.

He grabs the door knob, twisting to enter the room as he begins asking, “is there a naked tiny Illyrian war-“

He stops dead in his tracks at the oh so subtle smell in the room, coating the room in florals he never thought he’d smell from you. He looks up from the shirt, finding you sitting on your bed with tears in your eyes.

“It’s me, I have a teeny tiny Illyrian warrior so I bought them teeny tiny Illyrian fighting leathers for all the teeny tiny threats they’ll have to fight.”

Your husband takes off running towards you, kissing you like his life depended on it. Then he picked you up off the ground, spun you around, and ran out of your bedroom with you. He’s running through the whole house shouting, “she’s having my baby!” Repeating it over and over, until he almost collides with Azriel. Before Azriel can say anything, Cassian picks him up too, spinning the both of you. All three of you laugh at the pure joy radiating off of Cassian after so many years of wanting.

[xmalfoyweasleyx]

Fun night - Lucien x reader

Summary: You get drunk with Helion, so Lucien decides to take care of his drunk best friend. What he didn't know, is that it will lead up to some interesting confessions.

Warnings: Alcohol, drunk and flirty reader,

A/N: I'll maybe write something like this for every character but with a different situation? I love this kind of confessions <3 Also I LOVE DAY COURT LUCIEN!! Enjoy x

It was already past midnight when your best friend, Lucien, finally found you in the throne room of the day court. A glass of wine in your hand and your head on Helion’s shoulder, both laughing.

“There you are” Lucien said with a sigh. “Lu!!” you squealed. “What did you do to her” he sighed out to his father when he saw your messed up state. You were giggly, leaning onto the high lord of day, both grinning thanks to the faerie wine you’ve been drinking all night. “I did nothing, y/n and me just had a fun night together, we found my best bottles in the cellar” Helion grinned.

Lucien was your best friend, but you met him because of your connection with the high lord. You worked for him, and when Lucien came here to live in the day court with his father, you quickly became good friends.��

“I was worried, we were going to the park together, remember? You weren’t there so I've been looking for you all evening” Lucien said. “Now now son, you don’t have to be so anxious, y/n/n was just here with me, having some fun.” he mumbles drunkenly. “Sooo fun” you reassured in a slow voice. “God Helion, your son is so sexy, isn’t that right?” you smirked , biting your lip, looking at him like you finally realized what he looked like. Your eyes hungrily tracing the lines of his muscles that peak out of the white robe he's wearing. “How much did you drink exactly y/n?” Lucien remarked. “Apparently, I hold my liquor better than her” Helion sighs when he notices you’re far more drunk than he is.

Your eyes started to close a little, Lucien noticed it immediately. "You okay y/n?" he asked. “Lu, I’m tired, wanna sleep” you whine. “Don’t worry sweetie, I’ll help you, come here” he cooed. Lucien’s strong arms wrapped around you, pulling your slump body against his. You comfortably lean into his shoulder, wrapping your arm around him. “Let’s get you to your room” he says.

You both walk through the beautiful corridors of the palace, your body leaning heavily against his. “I’m sorry Lu, didn’t mean to get drunk and forget our date” you mumbled. “Don’t worry baby, it’s okay” he answered, trying to not get flustered because of you using the word ‘date’ for your walk in the park.

"You smell amazing, you know that" you breathed in his smell and then you stumble over you legs, almost falling, but Lucien catches you. "Woopsie" you giggled. "God y/n, you scared me" he sighed relieved when you were back steadily against him. "My knight in shining armor" you smiled, placing your hand on his firm chest. Oh god, Lucien didn't know how he could survive all this sudden drunk flirtatiousness. It made him all shy and flustered, but he tried to calm himself down. This probably meant nothing, you were just drunk and didn't know what you were saying, right? But his focus kept going to your soft small hand, rubbing his chest so lovingly. Was this what you always wanted to do, finally coming out?

When you get into your room, he gently lays you on your bed. He brushes the hair that fell on your forehead behind your ears, your eyes fluttering shut because of the feeling of his soft hands on your face. “You want me to help you wash your face?” he smiled. You nodded in answer. Lucien grabbed a washing cloth and cleaned your face gently. Then he grabbed your night clothes, laying them on the bed next to you. “You gonna undress me now?” you smirk lazily. Lucien couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You’re so drunk y/n” he chuckled. “What?! It’s not like I only want you to undress me when I’m drunk Lu. In fact, I would like to undress you! Just.. j-just wanna know how that muscles of you feel under your shirt” you rambled with the occasional hiccups in between. He only sighed in answer, flustered but not wanting to take advantage of the situation. You would likely forget this anyway.

He helped you in your night clothes, sometimes turning around to give you privacy. “Here you go, all ready for sleep” he said. You were staring at him so intensely, looking at the russet color of his eyes like you’d never seen it before. “You’re very pretty Lucien” you sigh out, tracing his scar with the tip of your finger. Lucien blushed immediately, you never gave him compliments like this. “And you’re even more pretty when you blush” you smile drunkenly.

“Thanks y/n, I think you’re really pretty too” he breathed, pulling the blanket over you. But your lips started to wobble. “Hey hey, what’s wrong?” he said worried, placing a hand on your cheek. “You really think I’m pretty?” you whined with tears in your eyes. “Of course I do” he reassured. “But you only say that because I’m your friend, don’t you?” you sniffled. “I-I…” Lucien stuttered, not knowing what to answer. “It’s okay Lu, I’ll get over you, I promise. I know I can” you confessed disappointed, your eyes down. Lucien was shocked to say the least. What did you mean by that? You never gave him the feeling you might see him as more than a friends. Sometimes he even wonders if you have feelings for his father, he knows Helion certainly wouldn't mind that. He even caught himself being jealous only moments ago, when he found you with his father.

“What do you mean, get over me?” he whispered, intertwining your hair with his fingers. “Because I want you under me” you whined loudly. “W-what?” he chuckled. But when he waited for your explanation, you started to fall asleep already, your eyes fluttering close in the comfort of his fingers slowly stroking your hair and the soft feeling of your blanket. “I love you” you mumble almost unintelligible, but Lucien heard it. “I love you too y/n” he whispered.

And when your eyes fell fully closed, he watched you for a while, savoring the opportunity. He listened to your soft sighs and the way your lashes looked, resting on your flushed cheeks. It took every ounce of self-control he had in him, not to go lay next to you.

So he tried again, pulling on the invisible thread in his chest. Hoping for an answer. But it never came. He'd tried over and over the past year. Maybe one day you’ll feel it too. Maybe one day you’ll remember what you confessed to him tonight. Maybe one day, you'll know.

His mate.

part 2

[pit-and-the-pen]

Unrequited Love

A/N: I had to get to the airport to return a rental car like 5 hours early so I’m so sorry for the pure amount that I’ve been posting today but as a socially awkward girly, if I’m on my own phone then for sure no one is going to talk to me.

Anywho here is some angsty angst about day court!reader and Azriel.

Part 2: Here Alt Ending: Here Part 3: Here

Forgive any typos I wrote this on my phone.

Warnings: none

WC-1.4K

————————————————————————

My blood was boiling beneath my skin. Azriel has been complaining for the better part of an hour about Rhys gag order regarding Elain. I was trying not to roll my eyes as I had reached my wits end with his lamenting.

“I just don’t understand why he needs to meddle in this. I get she’s Feyre's sister but he doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” he runs a hand through his hair and leans back in his chair. “I just can’t help but think that sometimes the cauldron gets it wrong.”

His words were spoken so plainly. Anger wanes for a second as I swear I could feel my heart break inside my chest. The words seemed to echo in my head Maybe the cauldron gets it wrong. I almost would have rather had him carve out my heart with truth teller.

“What do you think?” He asks me and I sit reeling over his words. I can’t think of anything to say to him. The comforting words I would normally have for him can’t get past the anger starting to cloud my vision. So I simply shrug, avoiding the question. Desperately trying to change the subject.

“So this new book I’m reading…”

“Oh c’mon.” He interrupts me. “I know you have something to say. And I trust your advice more than anyone else. There isn’t anyone else I would rather talk to about this.” His eyes softened as he looked towards me. Instead of melting under his gaze like I normally do, red bites at the edge of my vision.

“I think you should leave her the hel alone.” My tone is not gentle. He freezes.

“What?”

“She has a mate already. And regardless of if you think the cauldron got it right. Lucien is the one mated to Elain,” I tried to keep my voice neutral. “And Lucien is a wonderful male who has been through a lot of shit. He deserves someone as sweet as Elain, if she ever comes around. You should stop meddling.”

His mouth opens, when no words come out, he closes it again. You see the muscles in his jaw tick as he clenches his teeth.

“What has gotten into you? When did you become Lucien’s spokesperson?” He spits at me. His face starts to get closer to mine as he leans over the table, slowly starting to rise to his feet.

The sane part of me is telling me to stand down. That one of the most powerful warriors in all of Prythian was starting to get angry at me. My mate was starting to get mad at me. But I would not cave under his intimidation.

“I became his spokesperson when you showed no respect for him. Or for Elain.” I noticed I was starting to get to my feet. “What about what she wants? She doesn’t owe you anything more than she owes Lucien. Rhys told you to stay away from a girl you feel entitled to and now you want to mope like a petulant teenager. Grow up Azriel.” He flinches before something stoney sets in his eyes.

“At least I’ve actually told her how I felt. What about you?” My stomach drops into my knees. “Sitting and pining over the same person for a century.”

“You knew?” My voice was nothing more than a whisper. This was not happening. I should have left when I had the chance.

“It’s not like you tried to hide it. I thought at some point you would get the hint that it wasn’t going to happen but yet there you always were trailing behind me like a sad little puppy.”

My hands on the table started to glow faintly. My anger was finally breaking through the surface.

“You asshole. You stupid Illyrian bastard.” The smirk that graced his face fell instantly. “After everything that I’ve done for you, you want to use my feelings for you as some fucking weapon against me.”

Even I was surprised at the venom in my words but I was on a roll. “I sat by for five hundred years. I sat by as you pined over Mor, someone I consider my sister. I felt that bond go unreturned.” He completely froze at my words. Words I have never spoken out loud to anyone.

“Wait-“

“No. You get to hear this shadowslinger.” I pressed my finger to his chest and he stepped back like I had hit him. A small part of me wishes I had. But this. This right here is why Rhys kept me around. I didn’t need to throw a punch to put someone on their knees.

“I followed you around like a lost puppy and you loved it. Every second of it. I was stupid enough at some point to believe that it was because you felt it too. And I couldn’t get away from those feelings,could get away from you. Every time I tried I would damn near drive myself crazy and then you would smile or say some funny joke and I was right back to where I started.” I willed the slight shake in my voice to disappear. “You just wanted to feel important because the one you truly loved wouldn’t have even entertained the thought. Took other males into her bed, but not you right? So why not go for the next available thing. Me. Who cares if I got hurt? Who cares that I still fucking loved you through all of it? Not you clearly. You played me like a fucking fiddle and I played my part well.”

When I finally looked back up at his face I saw nothing but a shell of the male that stood in front of me. Even his shadows had retreated from his side. Looking down I realized they were sitting at my feet. I pushed down the glimmer of something I didn’t have time to think about at the sight.

“Please. Just stop.” He pleaded.

“Why? Because it hurts to hear? Fuck you. “And you think that didn’t hurt me too?” I watched him pale. “You didn’t think it killed me to feel that empty weight in my chest every time I looked at you. Everyday that I waited and wished that you would feel that stupid bond I’ve had to live with for the last two centuries.”

He gasped at my words cutting me off

“You never told me about that. I just thought it was… I don’t know… I thought it was a crush like how I felt with Mor”

A muscle in my jaw ticked. “I shouldn’t have had to! The whole point is that you feel it too. Bonds aren’t supposed to be one sided but for some gods unknown reason, you didn’t,” I felt the anger really starting to boil over.

“Every time I heard you rambling on and on about how perfect Mor was, about the females you took into your bed. I sat by all of it, for what? Three sisters for three brothers?!” I was screaming now, my hands shaking by my side

“What happens when she’s all fixed up too Azriel? When she feels this same thing I feel when she looks at Lucien. Onto the next one for me to hear about I guess . Always on the sidelines. Always the sweet face to come back to at the end of the day but never the one you want to be with.” I took a deep breath for the words about to come out of my mouth, steeling my nerves.

“I’m done. With this. With you. Fuck this entire gods damned city. I will not sit by and play second to whoever you deem worthy enough for the rest of my life.”

He held up his hand like he was going to reach up for me but the light that was glowing off my skin was warning enough.

“Where will you go?” Was all he had the nerve to say.

I let out a cold, twisted laugh. “Anywhere but here. Hel I could finally go home. Helion has

been asking me to come back for years now. All I know it will be somewhere where you can’t come and ruin another half a century of my life. Because that’s what you did. I wasted all this time on someone I knew wouldn’t love me. But I can agree with you on something, Azriel.” I paused long enough to see the hope in his eyes as he whispered “what?”

“That sometimes the cauldron does get it wrong.”

I walked out of that room with my head held high

[potatoplace]

my tears ricochet

Azriel x Reader, Azriel x Elain

loml (part one)

Story Summary: Azriel meeting you, his mate, throws a wrench in all of his plans, nearly a decade in the making with Elain. He begins his mateship with you, still with Elain all the while telling you that you are the love of his life. But, not every good thing can last.

Warnings: Suicide (more graphic than first chapter imo), heavy angst, alcoholism, infidelity, sex

Words: ~6.2k

Author's Note: and here's the second part, now I have to warn you, the first one didn't make me cry at all. But this one? I was sobbing like Feyre and Az, typing through my tears. Thank you for all of the love you guys showed to loml, it means so much to me to see every comment and note. I hope you all enjoy the final part!

p.s. I almost named it Last Kiss. Taylor is just perfect for angst, I tell ya

18+ only pls

💙🤍💙🩷💙

The wind was rushing through his hair, cooling his body, slightly calming him. But his heart was still racing, his mind panicked.

His mate. He had finally met his mate.

But Elain… they had just started discussing the possibility of having children. And nearly ten years together, ten years of love and comfort.

He’d known this was a possibility, he had just thought it would never happen. That the Mother had made a mistake in not mating him to Elain. But now, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t the love of his life, his sweet, perfect Elain, it was some random woman in the streets of Velaris. Beautiful, yes, but she didn’t hold a flame to Elain’s beauty. Her scent however… a refreshing blend of apples and autumn rain, so overpowering he could hardly smell the air rushing past him, even this far away from her.

He needed to tell Elain. He had to tell her, before he did anything stupid, like turning around and finding the female he had just abandoned in the streets.

They’d discussed what might happen if he ever found his mate, and the possibility of it was why Elain has yet to fully reject the bond with Lucien, though as far as Azriel was aware, the two only saw each other at holiday parties and the occasional family dinner that Lucien attended. They’d decided that if he did find his mate, he would come immediately to Elain and they would talk it through.

So, he flew straight to the townhouse, landing next to Elain where she was kneeling on the grass, tending to her flower garden. “‘Lain,” he started, the tension in his voice causing her to stand up and look at him instantly. “I… I found my mate,” he said, regretting that he even had to say the words.

Tears filled her eyes, and he put his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. “All I did was see her in the street, baby. I left right after and I’m here now.”

Still, she shook her head. “I cannot believe this Azriel. Now?! Now that we’ve decided to try for a family, that’s when you find your mate? This is ridiculous!” Elain vented, and it was truly one of the first times Azriel had seen her angry.

“I know, and I’m so sorry. I wish I would never have seen her, I only love you.”

“You don’t know that you wouldn’t love her,” Elain scoffed. “But you have a decision to make. Are you going to reject the bond.”

Azriel opened his mouth, not quite believing how bold Elain was being. “I don’t know. That’s not exactly a decision to make lightly, Elain. You know that.”

“Oh, really? This again? Just because I haven’t rejected Lucien doesn’t mean that you don’t have to make a decision, Azriel.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow at her, shocked by her hypocrisy. “Then you have one to make as well, Elain. Lucien or I? Which will it be?” Elain opened her mouth for a moment, then closed it. “Exactly. It’s not as easy as you thought, is it?”

Elain sighed, her shoulders slumping forward. “Fine. You can get to know her, if you’d like. But the moment you want it to turn to something more, come find me again. Until then… let’s just continue as normal,” she suggested, pushing up on her tip-toes to give Azriel a kiss on the lips before scrunching her nose. “Ugh, I can smell her on you. Let’s go take a bath, hmm?” She led Azriel by the hand to her room, undressing him as she pushed him towards the bathroom.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

It was two weeks later, and Azriel had prepared himself enough mentally to seek out his mate. It didn’t take long, seeing as two of his shadows had followed her back to her home, reporting to him that she had spent the past fortnight crying herself to sleep and barely leaving the house except for her work.

He flew over to her house, an adorable one bedroom that had a nice porch on the front, and a stained glass door depicting the season of autumn, leaves changing color as they fall from a tree and landing in a pile at the bottom. The pale orange paint on the exterior was faded slightly, chipping away in places, but besides that the home looked well cared for.

He steeled himself, then walked towards that beautiful door, knocking carefully on its surface. It was time to get to know his mate.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

3 Months Later

Elain stared at him, obviously not believing what Azriel just told her as they stood in their shared bedroom.

“You want to be with her?”

Azriel sighed. Truly, he wanted both females to stay in his life, but that was impossibility. “Yes, Elain. I’ve… I’ve fallen for her, over the past few months.”

Elain hissed, her outrage making itself known. “A few months?!” She screeched at him. “You’re going to throw away a decade over a few months?!”

“I’m not… I’m not throwing it away, Elain, this is something I have to do. She’s my mate,” he sighed. He didn’t want to argue with her. “I don’t want you to leave my life, either. But the connection between us… it’s always there. I can feel her all the time, Elain, and I don’t want to do you a disservice by being unfaithful to you in my heart.”

Elain, who up until this point had been glaring at him, looked off into the distance, contemplating.

“So, don’t leave my life,” she stated plainly.

“I… what?” Azriel asked in disbelief.

“Stay in my life, stay with me, and you can have your little mate. Just as long as you know that you come home to me after missions, after anything important. I take precedence over her. And she won’t be welcome at any family gatherings. If they ask about her, say that she’s better suited as a friend.”

She said it all as if it was simple, as if it made sense. So Azriel believed her.

Because that way, he could have the female he’d loved for so long, and he could also have his mate.

It was truly the best of both worlds.

“Alright, Elain. That’s a fair enough deal. Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it?” He asked, prowling towards her and grabbing her by the waist.

“Oh, Azzie, I promise I’ll be fine with it. Do I love that you might fuck another female? No, but as long as I can send you to her covered in my scent, I’ll be fine,” Elain purred, running a hand up his chest.

“Oh?” Azriel smirked down at her, taking her face in his hand. “And how will you do that?” He breathed in her ear, kissing her neck gently.

“I have a few ways. Come to the bed and I’ll show you, Azzie.”

Matching grins covered their faces as Azriel picked her up and tossed her gently on the bed.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would tell Y/N that he wanted to be serious.

Tonight, however… tonight he would spend worshipping Elain’s body like the goddess she is deserves.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

5 Years Later

Shit, Azriel thought to himself. Shit shit shit.

He was late. So, very late.

Elain had wanted him to spend the night together, but it was his and Y/N’s fifth anniversary the next morning.

So, he’d left in the middle of the night after his mate’s breathing had evened out, flying off in the direction of the town house. He landed in front of a simpering Elain, obviously pleased with how the night was playing out.

They had spent the night wrapped in each other, falling asleep under the sheets together as the new day dawned upon them.

Azriel had, of course, planned ahead for the possibility of sleeping in a bit too long to return home before his mate awoken, a bouquet of roses, sapphire blue for him and a pale yellow for his sweet, sunshiney mate, and love note on the nightstand. He’d also left out a coffee and book he’d spent an agonizing amount of time convincing his mate’s favorite author to give him in advance of the commercial release on the kitchen counter. He hadn’t thought that he’d be so late though, the sun having risen nearly to the halfway point in the sky.

He only hoped his mate wouldn’t scent Elain’s arousal, still mixed heavily with his scent. She had never said anything in the past, and he believed she wouldn’t now.

With the speed he was flying towards her house, most of it should be whisked off of him by the time he reached her.

Once he landed, he made sure to take a moment to collect himself, taking a deep breath before pushing the door open, greeted by his mate’s lovely scent, coming from the window seat to the right of the door.

You ran to him, and he greeted you with his arms first, the weight of you so perfect in his arms, as though the two of you were carved out of the same flesh, finally put back together for the moment.

The day was perfect, ending with the two of you snuggled together in bed.

The dagger you had gifted him was perfect, ornate enough to be worn on his belt during ceremonies, and the curved blade had fascinated him at first. He realized that you had meant it more as a way to keep you with him on his missions, rather than to do much killing. Though, it would make some wicked stab wounds, possibly helpful in interrogations. However, he didn’t think he could bear using something so precious as a gift from you during the… messier parts of his occupation.

Nonetheless, it was a perfect, thoughtful gift, and he loved it, loved you so deeply.

He sighed.

It was nights like these when his conscious kicked in, reminding him of the traitorous double life he was living. Sure, Elain was well aware of the situation, maybe not of the depth of his emotions towards you, but that wasn’t something she needed to know.

You, however… you were completely in the dark, unaware that the best friend he went on about is really his life partner of a decade and a half.

He felt so guilty, but he didn’t know how to stop, with either one of you. Elain, they had so much history and you, well, you are his mate, the person the Mother had made just for him.

He breathed in your scent, his mind relaxing as he did so. Azriel reminded himself that he still had six years left before he needed to make a true decision between the two perfect females.

Six years didn’t feel like near enough time, it felt almost cruel that he had to limit himself to a decade until he made a decision about the mating bond. He supposed Elain didn’t know that detail, either.

And now that you wanted to meet his family… well. That decision may end up coming sooner rather than later.

It all depended on how he swung it.

He knew that Elain would be difficult to convince, but he believed he would be able to. His plan was to inform the family to not make any comments about his and Elain’s relationship, and tell them that you knew about them but are still very sensitive to the subject, preferring to avoid it overall. They already knew that the you and Azriel are “friends,” Azriel having been unable to keep you a complete secret from his nosy family.

Azriel had to make it happen, or you would know something is off.

He was lucky, all things considered, that you had waited five years to ask to meet his family.

The next morning after a nice lie-in with you, he took off for the townhouse, ready to rip the gauze off. He approached Elain, in the gardens as she normally was this time of day, working on the garden before the heat climbed up too high.

“Elain, can we talk in our room?” He asked her, relieved when she followed him without question.

“What is it?” She questioned, knowing he was here with a purpose.

“Y/N wants to meet the family.”

Elain immediately started to shake her head, infuriated by the idea. “No. No, Azriel! We agreed that she would not enter our lives before you started this, that won’t change now.”

“Baby, it would just be one dinner, I will tell her not to show any affection towards me, and her curiosity will be satisfied, I promise.”

Elain thought about it for a moment, her face still pinched in anger, before it relaxed in resignation. “If this dinner is to happen, you will fuck me in this very room while she sits in the living room. If not, my answer is no, Azriel.”

Azriel considered it, the nodded, knowing it was his only way forward. And, he couldn’t deny that the thought of fucking Elain with you in the next room excited him, the riskiness of it so tempting.

“Then, inform the rest of the family. Tell them whatever you need to to keep your silly little relationship with your mate a secret. I will not be embarrassed by this, Azriel,” Elain warned, a danger in her eyes.

“Thank you, Elain.” He moved in towards her, and whispered lowly in her ear, “The sex we will have in here on that night will rival every other time we’ve been together, baby.” A shiver ran down Elain’s spine, and she wrapped her arms around him.

“It better, Azzie. Otherwise I just might crush her heart myself,” She said in a sweet tone, but Azriel took it as the threat it was.

Still, as long as everything went to plan, he will keep his two females as his, for years to come.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

The dinner went perfectly, Y/N feeling insecure, while it pained him, truly worked out for the better. The less comfortable that first meeting had felt, the less likely she was to insist on attending another family dinner.

Over the next few months, he could tell you were preparing something, most likely some kind of surprise for his birthday. Every year, you outdid yourself. When he was in town- or rather, not with Elain- you would wake him up with his favorite pastries from his favorite café, or his favorite dish from Kalia’s, a wonderful little breakfast restaurant located along the Sidra. And every year, you gave him a different custom made item, from the spider silk gloves that were fire and tear proof to the fortified, comfortable boots that he wore to this day.

During that time as well, Elain was becoming bolder with her requests of his time, drawing him away most nights after you fell asleep, only to return a few hours later, slipping back into your bed with jasmine and honey coating his senses.

That didn’t matter though, not when he was more enamored with you than ever. You were so kind, so focused on his happiness, he hardly deserved the honor of being your mate. The guilt of the situation had been weighing on him heavily, especially when he had felt you measuring his ring finger while you believed him to be dead asleep.

He was nearly ready to cut things off with Elain, her attitude as of late was bitter and angry, and while he avoided bringing you up around her, every time he did she said something condescending about you. The only problem was their history with each other, so many years that they had been together, and realized that he would be throwing it away, there was no way that Elain would ever be fine only being his friend, and seeing you near her family. He honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Elain attempted to take your life, her hatred of you ran that deeply.

He’d realized things were getting to dangerous territory when you had come back to your house, gushing to Azriel about how you and Elain might be becoming friends, and how you could see why Azriel liked her so much, she’s just so nice.

It was the day before his birthday now, and he had just returned to your home when you burst through the doors, bags filling your arms.

“Azriel!” You exclaimed, quickly walking over to the counter to deposit the bags, then made your way to your mate. You leaned up, capturing his lips in a tender kiss. “Listen, I know this will sound a little weird, but I’d like you to stay at your spare room in the townhouse tonight, if you’re willing. I want to set up a little surprise for you here,” you tell him, a smile gracing your face, and a matching expression lit up his face. “I’ll come get you in the morning, around 9 if that sounds reasonable to you?”

“Of course, babydoll,” he replied, claiming your mouth again in kiss more heated than the last. “Do I have to leave at this very moment?”

You hummed, your body relaxing against him as he kissed down your neck. “No, not yet, mate. You can stick around for a while.”

“Hmm, so I can take my sweet, thoughtful mate into our bedroom and devour her like the goddess she is?” He asked, already lifting you by your ass, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his hips.

“I’d love that, Az,” you say, peppering kisses along his jawline as he carried you to the bed.

He left a few hours later, walking back to the townhouse at a slow pace, reminiscing on the feeling of your skin and soft sighs, how much he was looking forward to whatever you’re planning for tomorrow.

He entered the townhouse a few minutes later, breezing into his room that he shares with Elain. She was inside, already naked on the bed and touching herself.

“Oh, Azzie, I’m so glad you could make it,” she said, pouncing towards him the moment the door snicked shut behind him. Once she reached him, though, she wrinkled her nose. “Let’s go get you in the bath, Azzie, I don’t want to kiss you while you smell so gross.” Elain pushed him towards the bath, where they spent a good hour basking in each other’s presence before making their way to the bed. They remained there until dinner, getting a quick meal from the kitchen before returning to the haven.

The night passed quickly, and Elain woke him by sucking his cock to life, the climbing on top of him. She rode him at a slow, torturous pace for a few minutes, before he tired her teasing and flipped her onto her back, continuing their activities, even as the door to their room opened wide, a gasp sounding from the doorway, and Elain’s arms wrapped tighter around his neck, legs wrapping around his hips, pressing his lower half tighter against her.

The scent hit him- autumnal rain and sweet apples- and his blood ran cold. He wanted to run, wanted to explain to you, but the grip of Elain’s heavenly cunt was too much, and he finished inside of her, pulling out as soon as he was able to.

His eyes were wide, he could barely process the situation, he tried to sit up and look at the doorway, but Elain’s grip around his neck was tighter than he expected. She was grinning from ear to ear, looking positively pleased with herself.

“Elain, I need to go talk to her,” he stated frantically, still attempting to pull away from her gently. He could hear her yelling outside, Feyre’s soft voice following it.

“No, you don’t Azriel. She just saw you cheating on her, she’ll want nothing to do with you now,” Elain declared proudly.

Azriel furrowed his brow at her, a sinking feeling in his gut, and he looked at the clock- only 8 in the morning. “Did you know she was going to show up this early?” He questioned, hoping the answer was no. If it was yes…

“Of course, it was my idea to have you stay here last night.” Her voice held no remorse, and Azriel pried her hands from his neck and sat up, moving to the edge of the bed.

He placed his head in his hands, panic overtaking his mind.

His mate… his sweet, kind, caring, attentive mate… had just seen him fucking Elain, her supposed friend. Fuck. This is bad.

He got up, throwing on a pair of leathers as quickly as he could, before Elain’s hand caught his.

“You’re seriously going after her? What the fuck is wrong with you, Azriel?!” She yelled at him, before Feyre’s voice cut through.

“What in the hells is wrong with you, Azriel?! You’re not only cheating on Elain, but Y/N didn’t even know the two of you were together?! How could you do that to your mate?!”

Elain’s anger was one thing, more unsettling than anything else, but Feyre’s? Feyre’s rage was terrifying, and Azriel had the common sense to cower as night coalesced around her.

It was then that he noticed his shadows had left him, and he could still hear them screaming about Y/N from wherever they had ran to.

“Feyre, I know how bad it seems, but I never meant for her to get hurt. And Elain knew about my relationship with her, I wouldn’t have gone ahead with it without her approval,” he said, trying to get the truth out before Feyre eviscerated him.

Elain scoffed, grabbing her nightgown from the floor next to their bed.

Azriel turned to cock a brow at her, daring her to voice whatever was rattling around in her head.

“You should have cut her sorry ass off years ago, Azzie. She’s not worthy of you, she never has been, and she never will be,” Elain spat at him, just as his gut fell through the floor and to the core of the earth.

The bond- the precious, delicate string tying you to him- severed in a single moment.

He dropped to his knees, a wail leaving his body of its own accord, the grief striking him in every nerve ending of his body as your presence left him, as he was left with a gaping hole in his soul that you used to occupy.

“Azriel?” Feyre called frantically, shaking him by the shoulders, but he could do nothing more than to loose gut wrenching cries of pain at the loss of his mate.

Rhys appeared a moment later, diving into his mind with a gentleness he did not deserve.

“Y/N…” he sighed, a tear rolling down his face. “She’s died.”

“Died?!” Feyre exclaimed. “She was just in the garden fifteen minutes ago, how could she have-?” She cut herself off, realizing exactly what happened. “Rhys, get her address from him.”

He did as she said, and she bolted away, leaving Rhys, Elain, and Azriel in the room.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

Feyre

She sprinted through the streets, making her way to the area that Rhys said your house was located in. It was orange, with a stained glass door according to Azriel’s memories.

Feyre still couldn’t believe what he had done, how he had betrayed his mate.

You was awkward at times, yes, and a little shy, but you were so sweet and it was obvious to Feyre how much you cared for Azriel- obviously not the way you cared for him, but the amount was there, always shining through your actions.

Once Feyre arrived at your house, she stopped to stare at it for a moment. The light orange and pretty stained glass window suited you, calming in nature and gave off a similar presence’s to the autumnal scent you gave off. She prepared herself as she approached the door, taking a few deep breaths before turning the knob.

Feyre still wasn’t prepared for the sight before her.

You were laying in a pool of blood- your blood- and covered in Azriel’s shadows. She rushed forward, and the shadows moved away from your neck, revealing the large gash there. A dagger was in your hands, and Feyre sobbed, pawing at your neck in an attempt to make the bleeding stop somehow, even as she could hear no heartbeat, no breathing coming from your chest.

The wound was hardly seeping anything as it was, but Feyre couldn’t believe it. You didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to leave so alone, so in pain.

Her tears fell on your body, and after a few moments she pulled your head into her lap, and recited the prayer she had learned all that time ago, back in Spring.

“Mother hold you. May you pass through the gates. May you smell that immortal land of milk and honey,” she finished. She whispered a final, added phrase. “May your next life be kinder to you, Y/N.”

Feyre stood, reaching out to Rhys through her mind.

“How is Az?”

Rhys sighed. “He’s not doing well, we haven’t been able to move him or get him to do anything cry cry,” he admitted, worrying in his tone. “How’s… how is Y/N?”

“She’s gone, Rhys. She took her own life,” Feyre cried through the bond. “Can you or Cassian come and help me move her to Madja’s office? We should… we should have her prepared for a funeral as soon as we can.”

“Of course, darling, I’ll send Cassian to help you. I’d like to be with Az in case he needs to be knocked out for his own good.”

Cassian arrived a few agonizing minutes later, and after stumbling into the house, stopped and gasped in horror. “Y/N!” He cried, moving quickly towards where Feyre was stood next to your cooling body.

“I know, Cassian. It’s awful, she didn’t deserve any of this,” Feyre said sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes. “We need to move her, though.”

Cassian nodded and stooped over, collecting your limp body in his arms. The shadows were still gathered around your body, hiding as much of you from view as possible. They shifted just right, though, and Feyre caught sight of the knife belt resting upon your hips, tightened so much that she knew the belt was meant as a gift, having seen the dropped bags outside of Azriel’s door when she went to confront him.

She carefully pulled the belt of off you, noticing that the dagger you had used… matched the ones still secured in the belt.

You had used the gift you most likely intended for Azriel, to end your life. That hurt Feyre’s heart even more.

The two of them walked somberly towards Madja’s office, stares lingering on them and the body covered in shadows and held in Cassian’s arms.

They arrived in a few minutes, and Cassian gently set your body down on a stretcher Madja’s had set up in the back, the shadows still clinging relentlessly to your body, refusing to leave you even in death. Madja’s soft smile greets the both of them when they turn around.

“Rhys told me what happened, he said to prepare the body as soon as possible, is that correct?”

Feyre nodded in agreement, “Yes, just let us know when she is ready for the funeral, please, Madja.

“Of course Feyre. I’ll contact you once it’s done.”

With that, the two left the clinic, heading back toward your home to clean it up as much as they could.

💙🤍💙🩷💙

Azriel

His world was shattered. He watched as your coffin was lowered into the ground only two days after his birthday, the sky bright and sunny, just how you always loved it. But Azriel could barely stand in its rays, so overtaken with grief and rage at himself.

He had found the box among the remains of the presents you dropped at his door when you saw him fucking- he couldn’t even bear to think her name anymore.

The two rings, so perfectly Azriel that it made him sob harder than before.

You had always known exactly how to design something to scream his name, always known what he would prefer to have as a gift.

Azriel had wanted to place the ring made for your fingers on you before you were buried, but he couldn’t bear to sully your… your corpse with his hands.

He also didn’t deserve to have a ring matching one that you wear in your grave, he had betrayed you so thoroughly. So he kept the both of them.

Time passed so slowly now.

It was like the world had stopped moving once you passed, the broken tether to your soul holding him in place, not allowing him to move past the moment of your death.

He left the rings in his nightstand, pulling the box out when the pain became too much to bear. He had purchased your home, finally moving all of his things in, like he should have while you were alive.

Even though your life had ended here, he felt closest to you inside the four walls where your relationship had blossomed, bringing you out of your shy, anxious, and adorable little shell.

Azriel barely left the house anymore, only leaving when his family forced him, or the hunger in his stomach became unbearable enough that he ventured out to your favorite restaurant and ordered your favorite dish, just one more way to get any semblance of closeness to you again.

The first six months since your passing were hell. Absolute hell.

The broken string within him chafed with every breath, only subsiding when he drowned himself in vodka enough that he couldn’t see straight, passing out into an oblivion where you still existed, where his heart still beat your name happily, not in the overwhelming loss that had made it lose its rhythm.

His family had dragged him out tonight into their townhome, insisting that they hadn’t seen him in so long and they needed to get together.

He was feeling an extra pain, today. It was the anniversary of the beginning of your mateship. It would have been the sixth, if you were still here.

So, he strung the two rings on a silver chain, looping it over his head and wearing it over the top of his jacket. With them on, he felt like your presence was with him. One of the few remaining things he owned of you.

Feyre had given him the knife belt a month after your funeral, and he had promptly shoved it into the lowest drawer of the dresser. He knew, he just knew that one of those knives had been the end of you-

But that wasn’t true.

He was the end of you.

Azriel sighed. That train of thought wouldn’t make getting through this night easier. One thing might, however.

He stood up from the couch he was seated on and made his way over to the drink cart, pouring a generous amount of vodka into a crystal glass.

You had commented on the glasses your second dinner here, admiring the way they caught the light.

Tears burned at his eyes, and he downed half of the glass in one gulp, the burn distracting him enough that he didn’t jump when Cassian clapped a hand on Azriel’s shoulder.

“It’s good to see you, brother. Will you be coming to the training ring again soon?” He asked, his tone gentle.

“We’ll see, Cassian,” Azriel answered, the one that he had given Cassian the past four times he had dared to ask the Shadowsinger.

“Okay, hopefully sometime soon. Or we could go out for a meal, just the two of us, hm? Just like the old days when we were stuck here, it could be fun,” Cassian suggested, and Azriel nodded in agreement just to get him to stop asking.

Cassian walked away, and Azriel could see him making a pointed expression at Feyre, probably urging her to come talk to him. He downed the rest of his drink, and poured another of the same amount.

By the time he had sat back down on the couch, Feyre was joining him.

She didn’t say anything, just sat with him as he sipped on his drink, relishing in the burn it carved through him.

They sat like that for a few minutes before Azriel’s left hand crept out, grasping Feyre’s right. The tears that had burned his eyes for six months, six long months of drinking himself to sleep as the tear in his soul grew, consuming him whole, had begun to fall, carving lines into his skin. Feyre’s hand squeezed his, and when he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, she thankfully had her eyes turned away from him, giving him the privacy he needed.

A minute or an hour could have passed before Azriel stood abruptly, making for the front door. He burst through it, tears still streaming down his face as he walked home as quickly as he could, the alcohol doing more to him now that he had lost weight from so many skipped meals. He could hear footsteps behind him, and if he dared enough it bet on anything anymore, he would say it’s Feyre.

She had told him at the funeral how guilty she felt for not realizing that Y/N was a danger to herself, but Azriel had brushed her off, telling her it was no one’s fault but his own.

Azriel knew she still carried it, though.

“I don’t need a minder, Feyre,” he drawled, slowing his pace so she could catch up from where she had been following him at a distance.

“From my eyes, you do Az.”

Her concerned tone made him sigh, the tears flowing even more freely now. He didn’t want to worry anyone, he simply wanted to waste away into nothing.

“I will be fine, Feyre, I promise,” he reassured her once she was at his side, though he didn’t fully believe it himself. “Just go home, go enjoy the dinner everyone has been slaving over for hours, Feyre.”

It was Feyre’s turn to sigh. “Do you promise you’ll eat something tonight?”

Azriel nodded his head.

Another sigh. “I suppose I’ll head back, then. Be safe please, Azriel. We love you. I love you. Remember that, okay?”

Azriel nodding again, swallowing a sob until he couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore. He finally reached your house, opening the beautiful door that you loved so much.

He loved that you’d had it custom made, wanting something to honor your Autumn heritage, so far from home. He closed it, running a hand along its surface.

You had loved everything fiercely, him included, even if he didn’t deserve it in any way.

You had loved your mystery books, your coffee, trying out new blends of tea you had made from herbs you’d grown in your small garden.

Then there were the things about him that you loved. His eyes, his hair. You always loved both of those. His hands… you had never shied away from them, in fact you had pulled them towards you, nuzzling your face into them whenever he was feeling insecure about them. You kissed every inch of them so often, Azriel had begun to love the scars, love the way you were able to make them beautiful.

Now though… he couldn’t think of them as anything but the hands that had sullied you, touching you after touching that other female.

Azriel made his way to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of vodka and your favorite, sapphire blue mug. He poured the liquid until the mug was nearly overflowing, and knocked back as much of it as he could managed in one go, a few drops trailing down his chin.

He regretted so many things in his life, but the way he had hurt you was the one he wished he could take back, at least trade his life for yours. You deserved to live, with your soft heart and open mind. Not him, with his unfaithfulness and betrayal of the worst degree.

His mate.

His mate!!!

He could hardly believe that six months had passed already, six months since that dreadful day.

Six months since your last kiss.

He could almost picture you now, as he walked into your bedroom. It had been on your bed, you were still naked from the earlier activities the two of you had indulged in. Azriel had just gotten his shirt on, and you made an adorable kissy noise, puckering your lips dramatically to draw him back to you. He hadn’t been able to resist, leaning back down and capturing your lips softly with his, tilting your chin up towards him gently with two fingers. It had been soft, sweet, all that he ever needed for the rest of his life.

But it was the last one. The last one, and he hadn’t even known it at the time.

And it was all. His. Fault.

Azriel sank down onto the bed, taking another large gulp of his drink. It was really kicking in now, he felt almost like he could sleep. Draining the rest of the cup, he placed it on the nightstand and laid down on his side of the bed. If he closed his eyes, he could almost trick himself into thinking you were there, sleeping beside him, almost hear your breathing and heart’s rhythm next to him.

He drifted off while clutching the pair of rings still around his neck, his heart still beating that broken, dying music that still sang your name.

Taglist: @j-pendragonx

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

You don’t get to tell me about sad

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n part two! Thank you for everyone who read the first one. So glad some of you liked it so much. 🫧🤍

summary: Azriel gets an assignment he can’t seem to decline. Now he has a princess full of attitude under his protection. The only question is whose cold heart will break first.

warning: past trauma, scars

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“No threats, nothing," Azriel dropped the report down on the table. Rhys had been the one to go meet with Autumn’s high lord. Bringing back the reports of everything that had been happening the past three days. “Eris said that everyone still thinks she’s there," Rhys stated. They planned on spinning a lie about you visiting an old relative, but it was better if the people who had inflicted the first attack would be misled about your true location.

“This could have been a one-time thing," Cassian hums, flipping through the report himself. “Or someone is waiting for the right moment," Rhys links his fingers together, resting his chin on them. “Why her?”, Cassian frowns. Yeah, Azriel asked that too at first. You didn’t seem to be magically gifted. There was nothing special about you, as far as he was aware. “Eris said she’s a weak link," the spymaster muttered.

“They’re close? That would explain things," and Cassian was right there. Love might be the worst weapon to have. Once, it slipped into the wrong hands. Azriel let out a sigh.

“Considering how he delivered the news, he loves her a lot. I believe, besides Lucien, she’s the closest to him." If he was being truthful, he hadn’t given it much thought. Here in Velaris, he could leave you on your own devices for the most part, at least. He didn’t need to trail after you. There was no need. Azriel had eyes almost everywhere.

“We’ll figure something out. I will ask around to see if something is stirring." Rhys leans back, his eyes now fixed on Azriel, “How are you?”. Azriel tries to hold back to not roll his eyes. “I’ve been fine for two weeks ago." And he was. Yes, his left side still hurt. The scar was deep and rather long. Rapping around his ribcage. Not to mention that he had pulled the stitches out way too many times. “Don’t start this," Rhys says bluntly.

“I could be up at the camps doing what I do best," Azriel points out. Itching to pick this topic back up. “Dying in the snow?"—that was a straight blow from his brother. Rhys hadn’t been able to say it out loud for the first couple of weeks. The thought of Azriel dying had messed with his head. “I said no, so it’s a no. Plus, you have a new responsibility," Rhys states firmly, and Azriel knows that there is no use in nagging him any further. “Counting days till she’s out of my sight," he mutters beneath his breath, standing up to leave. He just forgot to mean the words he spoke.

Velaris was different from what you had imagined it to be. In a good way, but it still wasn’t home. The ever-green trees almost bugged you. It was all too alive. Too bright. You missed the deep oranges. The crunching of the leaves beneath your feet. Rhys tried to be a caring host by giving you an autumn-themed room, but that only left a bitter taste in your mouth. So even if you had been advised by their healer to keep all weight off your swollen ankle for a while, you still found yourself, pulling away the decorations and shoving away the autumn theme blankets, the little trinkets.

You tried to keep out of everyone’s hair. Choosing to take your food into your room. But the four walls were starting to drive you mad. You had tasted freedom, and you didn’t want to be back there. Locked up. Hidden. Forgotten. So when your eyes landed on the two males sparing in the front yard, you, of course, first observed them from your window. Watching through the curtains and then pushing back.

“You should be resting your leg," Azriel hadn’t even turned to face you when his voice found you. A slight smirk tugging at your lips. He had been avoiding you. Or maybe you were too full of yourself. Maybe he was just busy. There was no requirement for him to be at your side twenty-four-seven.

“You’re a shit bodyguard if you didn’t know that I've been doing just that for the past three days," you muse, stepping closer to the racks of weapons that line their training ground. Fingers l brushing over a set of onyx black daggers. “Madja said at least a couple of weeks," Azriel points out, reaching to rewrap his knuckles. “And I said that I'm bored, and now we are here," you purr, lifting one of the daggers, feeling out the weight as you twist your wrist. You could feel Azriel’s eyes. Watching you. Following your every move.

“Or you just wanted a closer look at this“, the male next to him, who you had come to learn was Cassian, smirks, gesturing to his bare chest. Abs glistening with sweat. Yeah, the view wasn’t bad. Autumn males, at least the ones you know, didn’t compare. “And I thought this one was full of himself." You hooked your thumb at Azriel, rolling your eyes.

He shakes his head, “Would it hurt you to say my name?”, "Yes, Mr. Tree, trunk up my ass." You give him the most obnoxious smile you could master. Earning a deep growl from the spymaster in return. Until your eyes landed on the wooden bow, neatly placed on the ground by the buckets of water. “I want to shoot arrows," you mutter, pointing to the weapon, making Azriel’s gaze follow suit.

He let out a small snort, “Have you ever held a bow in your delicate hands?”. That prick. You narrowed your eyes at him. "Oh, news flash, he is also a sexist,” you hiss. Rounding his side to reach for the arrows. “I just don’t want you falling and tripping once again, princess," he teases in an almost mocking tone. You step closer to him. You doubt that he finds you intimidating, considering that you need to look up to even meet his gaze. But your face stays ice cold as you point to the bow, “Give it to me." He doesn’t move at first. As if on purpose. Giving you extra time to look at him. His face. There is a light scar over his right eyebrow. It’s not all that visible. Unless you take your time to… but, your little daydream is cut short by a bow being shoved at your chest. You nearly lose your footing. And just like that, you are snapped out of your daze.

“Don’t start crying when you miss," Azriel says, too full of himself as always. Leaning on the side beam like a smug, fucking cat. Too bad you grew up among five arrogant males. Six if you include that sadist of a father. That’s enough for the amber to catch fire deep within your chest. You line the arrow up. Taking a deep breath. Eyes falling to the target at the edge of the field ahead. And then it’s muscle memory as you let it loose. The first one hit the bull's eye. A satisfied smile speeds on your face as you reach for the second and third. You’re petty like that. Not in the mood to give Azriel a chance to call it fool’s luck.

A loud chuckle fills your ears, and then someone is nudging your shoulder. “She handed you your ass on a silver plate, brother." Cassian’s laughter booms, and you can’t help but match his grin. “Choke on the dust," you muse, flipping him off as you twist away from him. But Azriel is quick as always, grasping your elbow as he spin you back. “Know your place," he says through gritted teeth. Nostrils flaring.

“Maybe you should show me my place," you mutter, crossing an x on his chest. You yank your hand from his grip, glancing at Cassian, “Put the dog on the leash." Azriel curses, making Cassian snort, before the general starts barking, moving to the side to tackle his brother. You shake your head, continuing to walk away. Only catching a faint warning from Azriel, “Don’t fucking encourage it.”

Azriel chose to leave you alone for the rest of the day. Yet he could deny it all he wanted, but the shots were clean. Not to mention that he was almost relieved that you had left your room. A burden or not, he didn’t want you just rotting between the four walls. So he’s not all that surprised when your figure steps out onto the balcony. A lantern in your hand. One that you carefully place on the ledge before placing your hand on the stones. Stepping on your tiptoes, leaning to look over the edge.

"Snooping", the sudden sound of his voice makes you jump, your elbow hitting the lantern and pushing it over the edge. “You’re insane. Absolute sociopath," you gasp, hand on your chest as you try to wipe the threat from your face.

“You’re pathetic if that made you scared," Azriel shrugs, stepping out for the shadows. It wasn’t pathetic. He knew that. If he didn’t want to be seen, no one would see him. So blaming this on you was lame, but he could excuse it. For now. “You’re a creep," you hiss, leaning over the edge to look for the broken glass, now scattered on the ground. “Who sits in the dark like that?”, you ask, shaking your head and pulling your ginger hair over to one side. Fidgeting with the ends. That’s a new habit, Azriel thinks to himself, one he hadn’t yet observed.

You just shake your head once you don’t receive an answer from him. Eyes darting up the sky. It’s almost pitch black. The last traces of orange and deep purple are coloring the very edges of the horizon. “The sky is beautiful here as well," you breathe out. Not sure why. It felt stupid to get sentimental with that crazy man behind you. “It is," Azriel admits, forcing his eyes from your frame to lift to the sky. But the stars only manage to hold his attention for so long. Before they glance right back down at you, Azriel can’t tell from your face, but he feels the wave of sadness crashing into his chest.

And not even a heartbeat later you speak up again. “I usually take walks with the dogs in the evening, so... old habits die hard. I feel the itch." It’s an almost bitter chuckle that slips past your lips as you speak. Azriel walks close to the railing. “I feel the same if I don’t get to work late at night," he’s not sure why he’s even saying that. Admitting something that you don’t need to know. Or probably care to know. Your nose screeches up. “That’s a weird thing to like," you mutter. Azriel rolls his eyes, “Stomping through the woods isn’t any better.”

The breeze picks up. Chasing the last bits of warmth away. Making you wrap your arms around yourself tighter, but you don’t step back. Don’t move to head inside. “So, you’re a working late and sleep-in type of guy," you mutter. Azriel realizes it then. You’re here because you don’t want to be alone. Force-pushing the conversation to keep someone else in your company. Flashes of the basement flicker through his mind.

“No, I wake up early," he answers, a heartbeat too late, and yet you’re still nodding along. “So, no sleep type of guy," you mutter beneath your breath. The darkness is now fully draping over you two. Hiding you both from the world. “And you’re a talk just to listen to yourself speak type of girl," Azriel points out, making you huff. “And here, I thought we were having a moment." He watches as you turn around, shaking your head. “Jumping to conclusions kind of girl too," he says firmly, and this time it’s enough to drag a little chuckle from your lips as your head falls back ever so slightly.

But the distant pain doesn’t leave your eyes when you glance back at him. “Did Eris say anything by any chance?”, you mutter. A part of Azriel considers lying. Twisting the truth. A white lie. But he can’t bring himself to. Too many people were already keeping you in the dark, so he mutters a quiet, "No." Watching as you nod way too eagerly at his answer, “Of course, delighted to get rid of the troublemaker," there was that pained smile at the end as you finally chose to spread the distance between you two. “Lucien is coming tomorrow, though," Azriel points out, your tense shoulders easing ever so slightly. You don’t say anything as you reach for the glass door.

“Are you going to sleep?”, Azriel asks, almost cringing himself out. What was this sound of desperation? He didn’t fucking care what you did. “Not yet. I will walk in the garden for a bit." You gesture to the fields wrapping around the house. Azriel nods firmly, “Keep to the upper parts; don’t go past the rose garden if you get by the white... ”, “Okay, okay, mother... Tie me to your chair and watch me wilt away while you’re at it," you huff, your lips thinning into a tight line. “I’ll finish some work and come to do a room sweep," the spymaster says in an almost demanding manner. You simply raise your hand to your forehead, saluting him with a quiet “Yes, sir," before disappearing into the house.

It took Azriel way longer to get through his usual routine. He liked his office tidy for his morning working session. So at night, even if he was tired to his bones, he made the effort to sort through every pile of documents. Arrange them neatly. When he finally made it up to the top floor, where your room was located, it was well past midnight. Azriel knew that he could just drop it. He didn’t have to show up and check the room. Yet he still stood there right by your door.

"Princess," he knocked gently, not really in the mood to startle you once again tonight. You might be small and fierce, but everyone has a limit. When no response follows, he tries again: "Yn, it’s Azriel, can I come in?”, but still nothing. He could just walk in, but you weren’t a prisoner per se. “This is your last warning," he says, waiting for a heartbeat before pushing onto the handle.

It was dead quiet in the room. He would have concluded that you might not have returned yet if not for the mess that your bed was. He frowns slightly. Following the line of blankets that lead to the fireplace. And here you are. Curled by the fire, all the blankets dragged from the bed. Piles of books scattered all around you. He didn’t know that you had gone to the library. Or maybe this was Nesta’s doing. In that case, he didn’t wish to find out what was written in them. Azriel scannes the room. His eyes fell on the pens and pencils on the table. A sketchbook. A strange feeling kindled in Azriel’s chest. He has a pad just like that. Kept it in his leathers. So if he feels the urge or if something captures his attention begging to be sketched, he could easily do so.

Azriel steps closer, trying not to leave evidence of looking through your stuff. It makes him uneasy just how close you are to the fireplace, but then. Flame calls to flame. He knows that he should turn away. Just leave you be. There’s no danger here. He knows it. But he finds himself stepping forward, kneeling by your body. He hasn’t seen you so peacefully innocent before. He only knew the frowning, tantrum-throwing princess.

Tilting his head to the side, he tries to drink your features in. You were a Vanserra. The resemblance to Eris and Lucien was there. But a much softer version. With freckles all over your face. Long eyelashes. Your hair was more ginger than fire-red. But then his gaze halted. Your left shoulder was bare. The very top of your breast... a scar. It was a scare that made him halt. On your collarbone. And then two lines going beneath your shirt. Azriel’s scowl only deepened at the sight of one more white line at the side of your throat. “What did they do to you?", he mutters quietly. But it’s enough to make your eyes snap open as you jolt up. And once again, there’s a dagger aimed at Azriel’s throat, this time from the side. The very tip pressing into his flesh.

“What the fuck?", you huff, lowering your hand. “That’s a much better aim. You’re learning fast, princess." Azriel tries to keep his face cool as he steps back. Standing tall. “Why are you here standing over me like that?”, you scowl, pulling the blanket tighter over your shoulders.

“I just came to check the room," Azriel says, moving his gaze to the window. Anything was better now than looking into your burning eyes. “And decided that you can just let yourself in," you say, pushing to stand up. “You were on the floor by the fire; who knows, maybe you were lying there dead?", Azriel bits back, gesturing at the mess you had created. It was embarrassing that he had seen it. No one was supposed to see it. A bitter laugh slips past your lips, “You wish that would be...", and in a blink of an eye, he is there. Inches away from you. Hand reaching for your hair. No doubt he had thought about just yanking it back but decided against it at the last minute.

“Don’t finish that," he says, opting for a warning finger once more. As if he’s scolding a child. “Or what?", you flash your teeth at him. Pretending to bite the very tip of his finger. “You love picking fights, huh?", he straightens, smothering his hair back. The slight curls falling over his forehead. “You love changing the subject, huh?”, you mock back in the same tone. “You might just be one of the most frustrating things that came out of autumn," and you can see that he probably didn’t even mean to say it out loud. But he did. And now you two were standing in the aftermath of it. Your hands curling into fists. “Thing...", you smile at him, “How sweet of you; ladies probably drop their pants for that," and here it was that cold, cold look on your face. "Out," you hiss, now pointing Azriel to the door. Dismissing him.

The next morning is rather awkward. Azriel finds you in the sunroom of the house. Your legs tugged beneath you. You don’t lift your head, and he says nothing. Taking his usual spot by the window to drink his coffee. It unsettles him. The silence. He doesn’t want you to feel like he’s some creepy stalker. Maybe you both should settle the ground rules. Talk about the situation. But once he finally finds the courage to open his mouth, the door opens. A gasp slips past your lips as you jump up, rushing to the male standing in the doorway.

"Luci," you breathe, wrapping your arms around your brother’s neck. The warmth he carried seeping into your body. “My little flicker," he mutters against your hair, leaving a couple of kisses on the side of your head. "Azriel," Lucien nods in acknowledgment. Azriel follows his movement. “I’ve got it from here”, Luci smiles at the spymaster, rubbing his hands up and down your back.

“What’s going on?”, you mutter against his chest, refusing to let go. “What did Eris say?”, your brother asks, and it’s enough to make you pull back. “I don’t give a fuck about what he said," you grunt. “I want to know what you know," you demand. You have a full right to. Lucien holds your gaze for a moment before letting out a tired sigh, “We will be heading back for a bit." You shake your head, turning away from him.

“I will tell you as soon as I can, I promise," he says as he steps forward, holding you by your shoulder as he lowers his forehead to lean against you.“Why are we going back?” It’s a whisper, but blood runs thicker than water. And you need to stick together, as you always did. Even if you still don’t understand anything, “There is a public outing. He needs us by his side." That makes you chuckle, “I also needed him by my side in case anyone was wondering.”.

"Yn," Lucien sighs, but you shake your head. “You don’t get to make me feel bad for him." It’s selfish, you know that. But they had sworn to protect you, and this feels like the opposite of it. “He’s figuring this out too; be kind," Lucien mumbles, pulling your hands into his and squeezing them. “Come on, you’ll get to watch the joy on Azriel’s face when I tell him that he’ll have to spend a couple of nights in autumn," he nudges you, making you smile ever so slightly, “Now that I can get behind”.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taglist: @emryb

[notjustjavierpena]

Five Minutes

Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: As promised, y’all. Thanks to @strang3lov3 and @angelofsmalldeath-codeine for always helping me improve my work ❤️💖 Just to put it out there: The translations aren’t always literal but paraphrased to maintain context.

Summary: Lucien kisses you outside during your house party and puts his hand under your dress.

Pairing: Lucien Flores x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: Teasing/banter, pet names, passionate kisses, groping, dirty talk, over panty clit stim, degradation, slight verbal humiliation, overstimulation, bit of exhibitionism

Word count: 1.8k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54514960

Five Minutes

Your head is swimming with how close Lucien is. His breath tickles your skin when he talks, ghosts over your ear as he noses along the side of your head. In the smoke-filled room where the floor shakes from the music playing, you can smell his cologne on him. He is velvety soft when he speaks, enchanting you, “Let’s get out of here, just for a second.”

“We can’t,” you turn your head a little and look up at him through your lashes, “It’s my party, baby.”

“I don’t care,” he nods towards the open screen door in your living room, “When everyone is distracted, we could slip out. Nobody will notice.”

“That their host is gone?” You tut in disbelief, “Luce…”

“Corazón (honey),” he mimics your tone of voice, “They’re too busy to notice us leaving for a few minutes.”

“Oh, it’s a few minutes now? It was getting out of here a second ago,” you tease him playfully. In reality, you have already decided to give in and all he has to do is drag you away from the crowds. You won’t protest.

“I feel like we’re throwing out a lot of terms about time on the table here,” he grins against your forehead, having moved slightly to hold you close. His arms rest along the small of your back.

“I’ll give you, hmm,” you pretend to think, “Five minutes. Is that satisfactory?”

“I’ll give you satisfactory,” he unwraps himself from you to grab your wrist. You giggle as he drags you through the loud house, slipping the both of you out of the half-open door to your backyard.

The air inside was oppressive; smoke-filled, hot, and with a distinct smell of alcohol. The air outside however is filled with mischief and adventure, your garden smelling of freshly-cut grass and blooming lilacs. Lucien’s hand slips down your wrist so he can entwine your fingers, his hand sure in its grip when he guides you past a group of people who are talking loudly. He hadn’t been wrong; no one seems to notice you passing by as they are all too invested in their conversations. Lucien would probably phrase it that they have their heads too far up their asses.

He leads you to the wall of your house that is enshrouded in darkness now that the sun is no longer shining. The chatter from your guests fades into background noise, replaced by the cicadas singing in the night breeze and a gentle rustling of the leaves on the trees.

As soon as you become your only witnesses, Lucien backs you up against the rough exterior of your house. He cups your face with gentle, calloused hands, and then suddenly, he kisses you deeply and forces you to do a sharp intake of air through your nose. It is like he tries to be soft and sweet but there’s something more behind the way his lips meet yours, and he easily slides his tongue into your mouth because you cannot help but moan at the taste of him.

His thumb goes down your cheek, settles on your chin to pull your mouth open so he can lick hotly into it. You place your hands on his shoulders to dig your fingers into the muscles there, then tilt your head to meet him even more while desire pools in your belly.

The hand that isn’t holding your mouth open for him slides down to rest on your shoulder. However, it moves quickly to grope obscenely at your chest over the fabric of your dress and you let him as his thumb brushes over a nipple. It stiffens immediately despite the indirect touch.

The moan you let out turns into a snicker that interrupts you. Lucien’s fingers have slipped under the dress strap on your shoulder and he tries pulling it off. You shake your head while laughing quietly, “No, Luce, c’mon.”

“But you have such pretty tits,” he argues with almost a raspy whine whilst you pull the strap back in place, “Necesito sentirte (I need to feel you).”

“That’s very nice and all but I don’t need the whole party to see my breasts,” you bump your head slightly against the wall when Lucien’s head descends to kiss your neck, “You’re gonna have to get creative, I’m not going to strip in my garden like I’m in my teens.”

As he noses along your pulse point, both his palms skim down your sides and eventually cup your ass with lewd hands. You think that might be it, but suddenly his fingers bunch up the fabric of your skirt only to pull it upwards so he can slide his hand underneath it. You gasp as he drapes his palm over your whole mound on top of your underwear.

“You’re certainly determined,” you say breathlessly as he grinds the heel of his hand into your clit. More blood goes south. You reach for his hair to pull his mouth to yours again, moaning as he guides two digits over your clothed slit.

“You’ve put me on the clock here,” he replies between kisses, voice a mere growl, “I don’t think I need much time though, do you? You’re sticky through your pretty panties already.”

He moves his hand to run his knuckle over the damp patch on the fabric, pulling away from the kiss to show off the shiny knuckle between your faces whilst he holds the skirt of your dress in his free hand to keep it from falling down again. He smirks in a self-satisfied manner and your mouth falls open in aroused surprise when he sucks the slick off his digit, “Tienes un coño precioso, mi amor, sabes tan dulce (You’ve got a pretty pussy, my love, you taste so sweet).”

“Lucien,” you breathe.

“That made you say my whole name, huh?” He grins boyishly but he is more filthy than anyone knows.

“Touch me,” you look down between the two of you briefly and then find his gaze again, your eyes becoming heavy as the anticipation settles in the evening air. Without a word, his hand finds its way down between your legs again. You widen your stance slightly, open your legs for him.

Your eyebrows scrunch together when he skims his palm over the soft skin right below your belly button. He teases you for a moment, dipping his fingers underneath the waistband of your underwear before letting them remain on top once again. He finds your clit easily despite it being covered - it’s so hard that he cannot miss it - and presses his index- and middle finger on it. He rubs your cunt in torturous circles and suddenly, the whole world seems to close in on you.

You spread your legs as wide as this position will allow you. Lucien chuckles quietly at your desperation, covers your mouth with his own as you pant with each little pulse of pleasure that he beckons from you.

His fingers shift between featherlight touches to just the right amount of pressure, sending you through a rollercoaster of arousal. You know the white cotton underneath his ministrations is see-through by now, messy and wet from the way your whole cunt flutters and clenches in the absence of anything he is willing to give you. You gush every now and then, and he groans into your mouth each time he feels his palm soak.

“Put your fingers in me,” you beg when it becomes especially unbearable but he doesn’t.

“I don’t think you need the whole party to see this pretty pussy, it’s mine,” he mocks your argument from earlier and pecks your lips impossibly soft compared to how he is treating your clit, “You’ll have to make do with what I give you, mi flor (my flower). I don’t care if you start begging me like a wanton little whore.”

“That’s so unfair,” you whimper as the first tells of your orgasm approaches. Lucien notices immediately and pulls his head back a little to watch your blissed-out expression. He circles in on your clit even further to make you cry softly, biting down on your bottom lip so you won’t alert anyone nearby.

“Shut up and come for me,” he is too pleased with himself. He can probably feel your cunt throbbing against his fingers when you finally do, doing a sharp intake of air as pleasure starts flowing through your lower body. You let it wash over yourself, clenching walls pushing more slick out to wet the thin fabric. If you had time, you would have told him to have a peek.

“You are so fucking cheap and easy,” he reminds you with a sleazy grin but you are too lost to coming from his fingers that you fumble for the right retort and decide to say nothing. Instead, you try not to lose your balance as he keeps stroking your oversensitive pussy until you have to grab at his wrist.

He bites at your jaw, stronger than you ever will be, and keeps up his torture over your panties. You are forced to come again less than thirty seconds later, and now, you start to actually cry out to the point where he has to kiss you quiet again.

You cling to him when he finally stops. He is your anchor in this state of mind-altering dopamine rush.

“You don’t even know how hard you make me,” he whispers against your lips, “Should drag you to the bathroom and fuck you stu—“

In the aftermath, two guests, much younger than him, round the corner. They are deep in drunken conversation, all giggly and eager, and appear to be searching for a quiet spot to do the same thing as you have just done. With a rush of adrenaline that clears your mind, you push Lucien away and yank your dress back down, smoothing out the fabric to remove any evidence that it has been crumpled by desperate hands, something that Lucien points out is only visible to your eyes before the intruders are within earshot.

“Oh, sorry,” one of them says as the other kisses their neck. They try to bat the other away with an embarrassed smile, “We didn’t know you were out here.”

Lucien wraps his arm around your waist and leads you away with his cock shamelessly straining against the front of his slacks. He smiles at the couple and they offer their bottle of wine to him as an apology. He takes a swig from it but doesn’t give it back.

“That’s okay, how could you have known?” He begins the lie, “We’ve only been gone for five minutes.”

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[eblocke]

Light of the Moon

Chapter 44

“Eris dropped, his leg kicking out and catching Azriel. His feet flew from under him, throwing him onto his back. The impact knocked the wind from him. He groaned rolling onto his side to relieve the pressure off his wings, couching in an attempt to catch his breath. “That wasn’t fair.”

Eris knelt in front of him, a grin plastered across his face. “Last I checked there were no rules.” He leaned forward, lifting Azriel’s chin and kissing him. “I’m from the Autumn Court Moon, we don’t play fair.”

Azriel sighed and laid back, watching Eris stand to get water. A grin spread across his face before he tripped Eris and caused him to fall beside him. Azriel could not help but laugh, Eris’ laughter beginning to mix with his. He turned his head to watch him, to see the joy painted across his mate’s face. It was a simple moment like this that made their love grow. Neither needed grand gestures of love, proclamations, or actions. All they needed was the small smiles, the short laughs, and intimate moments where the world that had beaten them down and attempted to break them melted away. It was their laugh that reminded Azriel that they made it through. Each time they were pushed past their breaking point they had made it through to these small moments.

Azriel turned to him, draping himself over Eris and kissing him. “I never said that I played fair either.”

Eris still chuckled against his lips, his hands resting on Azriel’s shoulders.”

Thank you so so much @capricule for the AMAZING art work. Honestly that doesn't even describe this. If you want a incredibly nice person, extremely talented, and over all hard working and enthusiastic person to do your art this is them!! I will definitely be going back next time I want a commissioned art piece!! As for now I just want to say thank you Capricule!!

I am so excited that this is finished. I couldn't be more happy with the finished artwork. Every bit of detail and the characters appearance was captured perfectly. I never thought they would end up being so close to how I envisioned them. All expectations were blown out of the water and I couldn't be happier.

Details:

If you have read Light of the Moon you may notice a few small things.

- Eris and Lucien’s bargain mark on Eris’ chest

- Eris’ traumatic past with Beron evident by the scars on his side/back

- Azriel and Eris’ mating ceremony ring on Azriel’s hand

- The few pieces of jewelry Eris had Azriel start wearing again

- The shoes only covering Eris’ feet due to…well I can't spoil that

I just can't express how thankful and thrilled I am with this art work.

Characters belong to Sarah J Maas

[moonlitstoriess]

Across the Universe-ch.12 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terrasen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, Minors dni, mentions of trauma, SA, mentions of violence.

See masterlist

Y/n's heart raced as she watched Lucien standing before her, clutching the Book of Breathings like a lifeline. His presence felt surreal, almost like a figment of her imagination materializing in the midst of a crowded room. She could hardly believe her eyes; Lucien, battered and weary, was standing in front of her.

Lysandra closed the door behind them, sealing off the sounds of the ball and leaving the room in a hushed anticipation, y/n's focus remaining fixed on Lucien.

"Lucien," she murmured, her voice a mix of disbelief and concern. "How did you manage to come here? And what happened to you?"

Lucien's gaze flickered around the room once more before settling on Y/n's face, his expression haunted yet determined. "It's a long story," he began, his voice tinged with weariness. "But I had to find you. The Book led me here."

"The Book led you?" Y/n repeated, her mind racing with questions. 

Aedion wordlessly tapped Lucien on the shoulder, making the redhead turn around to see him pointing at a chair to sit while Elide filled a cup with water from the table.

After he sat down and drank the water, they gave him a moment to gather his thoughts. After a minute, Lucien sighed and began speaking, "I came to Velaris for a monthly visit,"

"The one where you visit for a week and we cause every kind of chaos?"

Lucien smiled slightly at his long-time friend as he said, "Yes, imagine the shock on my face when I found out you were gone, completely disappeared thanks to this book. Everyone was going absolutely crazy. Rhys had ordered every priestess at the library to search for ways to bring you back, even contacted Thesan to order his librariens in Dawn to search for any kind of information,"

He took another sip of his water before continuing, "Az, I don't even know, y/n he- he was just....mad like he isn't in a right state of mind at all because of your disappearance-"

Y/n scoffed, "Yeah, right. Seems like I had to fucking go through worlds for him to feel anything for me-"

Lucien looked at her with a mixture of many different emotions, "Y/n, I don't know what happened between you two but Az has completely lost his mind. Anyways, that we can discuss later, the point is....when I went to Amren's house to see her progress with this book because I was obviously very concerned for you, she told me she can't seem to get past a spell on the book, its like this ancient thing isn't allowing her to break through it. So I sat by her side and decided to see what I can do to help but....."

"But...?" y/n urged, her eyes growing more curious and yet warm towards the male, her close friend, sitting in front of her.

Lucien looked down at his hands that were still clutching the book, "But, then Rhys called Amren to the house, saying Thesan sent an ancient text related to this but the language was too old for any of them to understand. She told me to stay here and guard the book, to not listen to its nonsense words and she will be back soon. Once she left, at first everything was fine but then.....then it just started speaking, hissing and whispering, calling me to it, urging me to open and flip its pages. I tried, I really tried to ignore it but.....I caved in and then when I was close enough and my fingers had opened the book, it was like.......like....."

"Like you were stuck in one place and couldn't move. Like your body had a mind of its own." Y/n finished his sentence for him, seemingly remembering her own experience with the book.

Lucien once again lifted his head, looking up at her, "Yes! Yes, exactly! And then the next thing I knew, everything around me was disappearing, the book as well and then it was just darkness before a voice whispered to me that 'you are home now, fire prince' and I woke up in a grassy hill, surrounded by...well, an expanse of greenery."

Before anyone could interfere with their questions, y/n held up her hand, eyes wide and calculating as realization slowly dawned upon her.

"I heard the same exact thing when I ended up here. The book also led me here in the same exact way."

Dorian was the one who seemingly caught up to her trail, adding "While everyone in your world is having troubles getting here, breaking through the books spells...."

Lysandra continued next, stepping forward to stand beside the king, eyes wide, "Y/n and you were sent here by the book itself. We found out later on that y/n was a witch and had a connection to the gates, her mother being the oldest and strongest witch to ever live, Elara."

A few gasps were heard around the room but the shifter just shook her head, "We can discuss that later, what I mean now is that we found out y/n had a purpose here and that's why the book sent her, that she somehow was needed to be here, in Erilea, in Terrasen. And now, you were sent here by the book and seemingly it came with you this time. What could your purpose be, prince?"

Lucien just furrowed his brows and shook his head while Yrene came forward, Chaol right beside her, one hand on his sword, as she gently kneeled beside the redhead and asked softly, "May I....may I have the book please?"

Lucien hesitated, looking towards y/n to see whether or not he should trust the woman. Once he saw her nod, he turned his head back at the healer and handed her the book with a small, unsure, smile.

Yrene smiled back at him before taking the book and getting up, "I have a theory that I need to test with this and the other book so I would like to excuse myself now, goodnight everyone."

It seems like Chaol would blindly follow his wife anywhere because as Yrene left the room, he trailed right behind her, going wherever she was going.

Aedion turned his head back at Lucien and drawled, "Soooo....what do we do now?"

Before anyone could reply, y/n stepped in front of the redhead prince, her gaze determined as she said, "Lucien isn't going to harm anyone so you do not have to be on alert around him. He will stay here as well, and will help us find a way to sort out this mess."

Lorcan just nodded his head, putting his arm around Elide as she said, "We trust you y/n, so we trust him as well."

"I can show him to his room!" Eva's voice filled the room as she raised her hand, an adorable smile covering her face.

She heard Lucien chuckle behind her as Lysandra said, "Me, y/n, Elide and you could show him. The witches could join if they want to."

Elide smiled, shaking her head, "I need to check on the boys, you three go."

Manon just raised an eyebrow while crossing her arms, "Isn't y/n a witch too?"

Oh that's right. She was a witch. And she started to actually like that name.

Y/n shrugged as she patted Lucien on his shoulder, signaling him to get up, "Well, this is MY friend from MY world. He needs to see a familiar face around, no?"

She glanced at the prince beside her, expecting to see him nodding but instead found him staring at....Petrah, who was right beside Manon, also staring at him.

Lysandra broke their haze as she just came to stand beside y/n, hooking arms with her, "Well then, Lulu, let's get you to your room, shall we? We will all make better introductions and explain everything in the morning."

Lucien's gaze drifted to the shifter, raising an eyebrow as they began exiting the room and walking towards the stairs, "Lulu?"

Y/n and Eva chuckled as Lysandra winked at him, "I just came up with the nickname, thought I could use it."

He just smiled slightly before shaking his head and looked back at y/n, her gaze still filled with concern as she gently asked, "Why are you in this condition? How did you get through the woods?"

The fox looked forward as he explained, "After I woke up in the middle of nowhere, I just went through the forest and clearly had an 'amazing' time for the past two day."

Y/n furrowed her brows, "Strange, when I woke up, the first thing I saw was Fenrys- another member of this court, standing right over my head. How come no one detected your presence?"

Lysandra also had a confused expression etched on her face, "Our wards are strong, at any sign of unusual interference, Rowan and Aelin would be informed, that's what happened when you landed here. But, I don't understand how we never felt Lucien's presence within these borders."

Eva stopped abruptly, turned to look at them all with wide eyes, "What if its because of the Valg? What if they have somehow managed to break through? If that's the case, imagine how many of them could have entered these lands...."

Both Lysandra and y/n looked at one another, eyebrows raised, eyes wide, the former said, "Yes, that's....that's actually a very good posibility."

Y/n slowly nodded, "We will have to speak to Rowan tomorrow-"

"What are you all talking about? What's a Valg?"

All three of them turned to look at Lucien who was just glancing between them, brows furrowed in confusion and arms crossed over his chest.

Y/n shook her head, closing her eyes, "Lu, you have a lot to catch up on. We will tell you everything tomorrow morning."

He was clearly confused and had like a million questions of his own but nodded his head in understanding as they continued on their way.

"Actually, I don't know anyone here except y/n dearest, so, could you tell me your names?"

Lysandra smirked at him, "Lysandra Ennar Ashryver, lady of Caraverre.....also a shifter."

Lucien's eyes widened in shock, "Shifter? Like, you can shift into anything?"

The green eyed woman laughed while nodding as y/n put a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Lysandra loves shifting. Just last time, I was almost about to step on her when she was a ladybug."

Lysandra winked at the winged female as Eva, smiled brightly before saying, "Evangeline, book and chaos lover."

Everyone laughed at that as they reached the room where Lucien will be staying in, "Well, Lulu, this room is yours for the keeping."

Lucien said his thanks before the shifter and Eva left, leaving y/n alone with him.

He looked at her with raised eyebrows, "A witch? Really?"

Y/n chuckled, shaking her head, "Believe me, I was just as surprised when I first found out."

He smiled widely now, his eyes shining with a mixture of relief and joy as he suddenly hugged her tightly, whispering, "Oh, y/n I am so glad you are well. I was so, so scared that none of us would ever see you again."

Her eyes closed, a smile overtaking her lips as well as she hugged him back, just as tightly "Lu, I am so glad you found me. So much is going on that I was beginning to think that I would never find a way to go back home. You being here is proof that there is a way."

They seperated but not before she felt him gently squeeze her uninjured shoulder, "Me too, y/n, me too."

She smiled at him one last time before turning to walk away, but not before saying, "They are not bad Lu, you don't need to doubt them. I started to get along with them, I am sure you will too."

Lucien looked to the wall beside her, seemingly lost in some memory as he gently smiled, "Yes, I think so too."

When morning came, she was once again making her way to the training grounds, preparing to fight some of the stress out.

Y/n was expecting to be alone, to have some peace and quiet in order to gather her thoughts and think over everything that happened in the past hours, with the breeze, birds and trees being her only companions right now.

What she was not expecting to see, was the very male who had her pressed against a wall last night, throwing punches at the air, looking as hot as ever. She would never admit it but, y/n was very glad to have this front row view at Fenrys' half naked, broad, large body, full of muscles and scars, glistening with sweat, his pants hanging loosely around his waist. The wound seemed to be almost healed as a singular bandage covered the side of his torso. His hair thrown in a messy man bun, his arms and biceps bulging as he dodged and punched and hit and moved.

She should be mad at him. He left last night after that amazing moment, leaving her frustrated both sexually and mentally. She must demand answers, why did he leave?

But looking at him now she just wanted to touch him, feel him. Why does her body react this way only and only to him? When she just sees only and only him-

Fenrys turned around, panting heavily as their eyes locked. Y/n felt all the air get knocked out of her the second those hot, frustrated, intense and dark eyes focused in on her. He took her in, starting from her eyes and slowly going down to her legs. She should turn around and leave, run away just like he did but all she could do was stand there and soak in the way his eyes roamed all over her, giving y/n the chance to also take him all in.

Then, as if nothing just happened, he turned back around and went towards the table holding a pitcher full of water.

Oh, no. He did not just ignore her. He had a lot to answer for and y/n would make sure she got them out of him right here, right now. Taking slow steps towards the other side of the ring that held weapons, y/n gave her best indifferent expression and willed her body to calm down as she kept her voice steady, her eyes trained on the array of bow and arrows, "So, you will just ignore me, Fen?"

No reply, nothing.

Very well. Her hands took a bow and began inspecting it, "Did you not like it? Personally, I loved it, Fenrys-"

"Stop lying."

Y/n picked a stack of arrows together with the bow and turned back around. He was leaning against the table, still breathing heavily as his head tilted back and he stared at the sky. Displaying that delicious throat that was so tempting, y/n just wanted to bite and kiss it nonstop.

But, her mind was somewhere else now, pondering over his words.

"What? I am not."

He just closed his eyes but said nothing.

Y/n slowly moved closer to him. "Fenrys-"

"Stop- stop it y/n, alright? What we did last night was wrong. A temptation into which we both fell, but it won't happen again."

Now, she was pissed. He was so cryptic, so hard to read. Who does he think he is? Making decisions on her behalf?

Y/n turned her back to him, finding a circular target. The bullseye, a small red circle at the center, seemed to beckon to her, challenging her to hit it dead center. Taking a deep breath, she raised the bow, feeling the tension in the bowstring as she nocked an arrow and drew it back. Her movements were smooth and practiced, the muscles in her back and shoulders tensing with controlled strength. She closed one eye, aligning the arrowhead with the bullseye. With a final exhale, she released the arrow.

The arrow struck the target with a satisfying thud, embedding itself just outside the bullseye in the second outer ring. A rush of adrenaline and frustration surged through her as she took another arrow, scoffed at not hitting the center and spoke, still not looking back at him, "You think you know it all don't you? Think you know what's best for me? Well then, you are no different than any of the males I had in my life."

And suddenly, he was right behind her, his naked chest slightly grazing her back as he gently but firmly held her arms and moved them just an inch, changing the angle as he held her other hand under his, helping her keep the arrow stable, his breath hit her ear as he whispered, "I know your friend is here. That only proves my point how sooner or later, you will go back because your life is there, not here."

And with that, he let go of her suddenly, making her release the arrow. With a satisfying thud, the arrow struck true. It buried itself deeply into the bullseye, dead center. Her eyes widened as y/n turned around to look at Fenrys but he was gone, completely disappeared and she was left all alone in the middle of the training ring.

Fenrys was feeling a mixture of emotions. Anger, frustration, confusion, and hunger. Hunger for her. Hunger because last night left him hungry for more. Fenrys thought that it was just a silly little temptation, that he just had to kiss her in order to get her out of his system, that he would be satisfied and move on once he had a taste of her.

Oh, how wrong he was. The second his lips were on hers, his hands touching her plush body, bringing her closer, Fenrys realized that she would be his doom, his undoing. She was absolutely intoxicating and he couldn't stop, didn't want to stop. Now that he had a small taste of her, all he wanted to do was to keep tasting more.

But then Lysandras knock brought him back to reality as realization dawned upon him. She would be gone, she wasn't from this place, she had a real home, people concerned for her, y/n had a life.

She had a life and he would never be a part of it. She would go back to Prythian and move on, fogetting him. But he wouldn't forget her, no. How can he when she was the only being ever in existence to cause him to feel a bunch of emotions? How can he when she was the only one to ever cause him to react so much?

The appearance of that Lucien was just proof that whatever this was could not go on. Lorcan and Dorian told him about all that happened last night and Fenrys couldn't understand why his heart physically hurt at even the thought of her going back. They didn't deserve her. None of them, and especially not Azriel. Oh, how Fenrys wished to see that male atleast once so he could teach him a nice little lesson.

Well, his mood definetly did not improve when he entered the dining room to see that redhead sitting with his family, talking and laughing. He just went to his chair as Aelin kept talking, ".....I can't believe you have fire powers as well! Mine are no longer that strong but I still got a spark atleast!"

Lucien smiled as he took a bite of his meal, "Yeah well, I was born into a house full of fire magic. All my brothers have this power too. Autumn court is known for this fire."

The queen smiled even more brightly, "I want to visit that place now."

Lucien just chuckled while shaking his head slowly, "I don't think you would like it as long as my monster of a father is its high lord."

"Believe me, we have met our own fair share of monsters." Dorian said, his eyes looking at everyone in the room knowingly.

"Oh, Beron is a self-centered viper. Lu, when will Eris finally take over?"

That voice. That melodic, hypnotizing voice. He saw from his peripheral view how y/n entered the room and completely went past the empty seat next to him, choosing to sit right fucking beside Lucien.

Don't react. This is what you wanted right? The further she is from you, the better.

Lucien's eyes widened slightly as he chuckled, "You like Eris? I thought everyone from Rhysands circle hated him"

Y/n shrugged while cutting up her meal, "Yeah well, I don't. Why should I?"

Lucien smiled softly now, "Me neither."

Rowan raised an eyebrow, "Something we should know? Is Eris also going to make a surprise appearance?"

Lucien shook his head slightly, "No, my brother has bigger things to deal with right now."

"Bigger than the valg?" that question came from Lorcan as he just stared at the prince, his gaze indifferent.

"Well, as I said earlier, our world never had such things as Valg-"

"They explained you everything?" y/n's voice made Fenrys clench his fork as he just kept looking at Lucien and not the female right beside him.

He noddded his head, "Yes, they told me everything and now I know why the book is so important."

Y/n was about to say something when a roar interrupted her. Petrah quickly got up from her seat, "Seems like Luna isn't tired after our morning ride. I will go check on her."

"What is that?" Lucien's question made Manon chuckle and Petrah raise an eyebrow as the former replied, "A wyvern. Ever seen one?"

Lucien's brows furrowed even further, "No, what-"

Another rumble. Petrah just smirked at him as she said while walking towards the door, "Come along, prince, I'll show you."

Fenrys caught how Lucien's gaze seemed to change the second he looked at the witch. How his pupils slightly dilated and his eyes just took her in. He knows how it feels because he experiences the same thing whenever he looks at y/n.

Lucien was clearly in another world as he just stared at the witch because the second y/n gently nudged him, he shook his head slightly, as if coming back to reality, and got up to follow Petrah.

Well, seems like someone has got a crush. Wait. Does that mean Fenrys also has a crush? No. Impossible. He just kept on eating his food as his family continued their conversation. Throughout the whole meal, he tried his hardest not to glance at her, not even once.

He didn't look at her. Not even once. Usually, y/n would feel whenever his eyes were on her, watching her. But this morning, he didn't even glance at her. This wasn't her plan. When y/n entered the room, she purposefully avoided his gaze and sitting next to him, instead choosing to sit beside Lucien.

"And yet, he didn't even react. Honestly, I don't understand him, what do you think I should do?"

Abraxos just let out a low, sleepy rumble from his place on the flower field.

Y/n just laughed, tilting her body back until she was sitting against the beasts large body.

"Thanks for the advice, friend."

Abraxos lifted his wing and gently draped it over her, causing y/n to smile while caressing it.

"I see you two seem to be enjoying your time."

Rowan's voice caught her attention as y/n lifted her head up to look at the silver haired prince coming her way.

"Well, this certainly is a surprise. Don't you have princely duties to do?"

He chuckled as he sat down on a small boulder across from her.

"I went out into the border earlier in the morning, and guess what? Eva's assumption was true, the wards around this place are ten times weaker than before. They have definetly been broken through."

Y/n sighed, "And what do we do now?"

The male just shrugged and looked down at his hands that were on his knees, "We wait. Yrene is hard at work on something that she won't tell anyone, not even Chaol, so it seems like whatever she is doing, is big."

She nodded her head, wordlessly and thought that he would leave after that but instead, Rowan said, "I heard you, you know."

"Don't tell me you heard everything..."

Rowan chuckled "Well, maybe not everything but enough to know that something is happening between you and Fenrys."

Y/n scoffed, "Nothing is happening between us. Atleast not anymore."

Rowan smiled slightly before turning his head to his left, looking at the fields beyond.

"You know, Aelin and I despised each other at first."

Y/n's eyes widened, "What?! impossible! you two seem so in love now."

"Now, yes. Before? Oh before all I wanted was to slit her throat. I actually punched her when we first met."

She couldn't hide the disbelieving laugh that left her throat, "W-what?!"

He turned his head back to her and laughed as well, "Yes! I thought that she was a spoiled, self-centered brat. That she had no idea about the reality of the world and wasn't ready to be queen."

He sighed and looked at the wyvern, a sad smile on his face, "We fought a lot at first, I insulted her and she insulted me back, she was fire in every sense of the word and I used to be afraid of getting burned by it, I was avoiding it. But then, after seeing her scars, both visible and invisible, I started to sympathise with her and eventually, I let myself get enveloped by her fire."

Before y/n could say anything he got up and went to caress Abraxos, his voice a quiet melody now, "I thought I had a mate, her name was Lyria and I had met her in a market. She was very beautiful, and I remember feeling this tug towards her from that very first day. Long story short, we mated and she got pregnant. But, while I was away, she and our unborn child were both murdered. I came home to find her mutilated body lying in her own cold blood. I had this tattoo done in order to carry the shame of not being able to protect my mate for eternity. It details our story, from the time I saw her to the day I came to find her dead, cold body on the floor."

She gasped, her hand coming to cover her mouth, "Rowan, I- I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry, and not to be rude but.....isn't- I thought Aelin was your mate."

He just kept on caressing the wyvern, not looking at her, "Turns out, Maeve led me to believe that Lyria was my mate and then, had her killed. Aelin was my true mate, and Maeve knew it, she just had this twisted, forged plan to use me for her advantage. To also break Aelin."

Y/n whispered, her eyes on the flowers, "And did she...break?"

Rowan looked at her, a small smile overtaking his face, "You will have to ask that from her."

And with that, he turned his back towards her, and started walking back to the palace. She called after him, "Why did you tell me all this?"

He didn't turn back. Rowan just kept walking but she heard him say, "So that you can make sense of your own destiny, of where your purpose lies."

Before she could question him, she saw Luna land on the ground and Petrah come down from her back, followed by Lucien and....and a struggling man that was tied up in ropes.

Y/n jumped to her feet, running towards them as Lucien came forward with the prisoner tightly held in his grip, Petrah right behind him.

"What is going on?!"

Petrah and Lucien moved past her quickly, the former saying over her shoulder, "He is a valg! Luna scented him walking right through the busy markets. Where is Aelin?!"

Y/n took large strides to catch up to them, speaking as they quickly walked towards the palace, "I don't know! Lets take him to the torture room. They have one here, right?!"

Petrah firmly nodded her head as they both followed Lucien. Once inside the halls, they found Rowan, who was making his way up the stairs, and took the captive towards the chambers below.

Fifteen minutes later, Lorcan, Manon and Fenrys joined them as they all watched the valg infested person struggle and scream against his chains, both visible and invisible, thanks to Rowan's powers.

Petrah was the first one to speak, her eyes assesing the captive before them, "He won't break unless we make him. The witch back in our kingdom hasn't broken yet either, despite all the torture we have put her through."

Manon interfered, "That is a willing ally to them, this person has been infested by one of them against his will."

Petrah nodded her head at her queen, "Exactly, so it will be easier to get him to talk."

Fenrys shook his head, his arms crossed, "We have to get Yrene."

Rowan looked at his friend, "And drain her even more? She is already using too much of her powers, Chaol is in a wheelchair. Besides, once she gets the valg out of these people, they seem to forget everything. We need him just like this to get him to talk."

"I won't talk! I won't talk! I won't-"

"Oh, you will, and you will tell us every single little thing, you little demon." Rowan's voice was unrecognizable as he stood right in front of the man and looked down at him.

The poor man was laughing like a maniac now, he laughed and laughed until his eyes landed on her and he stopped. He stared and stared before his mouth tilted downwards and his light brown eyes somehow became black. Now, he was shouting at her, "You whore! We are coming for you! We are coming for you and we will end you just like we ended your mudslug of a father!"

Y/n's anger began rising, causing her to clench her fists in order to stop her iron claws from appearing. She took slow steps towards the man, recognizing that it was the valg inside him talking this way and not him.

"Listen to me and listen well, you parasite. I know what you did to my father and mother, what you did to my family. Do not think for one minute that I will forget it. No, I will find you all and once I do, none of you will be able to escape me. I will spend the rest of my immortal years going from world to world in order to completely cut your roots if I need to. You have said it yourself, I am the chosen one, the one who carries my mother's gifts inside me. So it's time I use these gifts and destroy you once and for all."

There was complete silence in the room, all eyes on her as the man shouted back, "You won't find us! We are hidden well!"

Well, it's time to use some psychological mind tricks then.

Y/n smirked as she leaned down, coming face to face with him, "Oh, I know where you are. In fact, I have completely sketched out a map of your whole location, both inside and outside."

The man's eyes widened, "No.....no the prince....he survived! It was him!"

Time to lead him on to get answers without making it obvious.

"Yes, the prince who survived was spotted in the city. He thinks he has good cover but he is wrong, oh he is so wrong."

The valg seemed to believe her as he started saying, "He did it! He did it! Do not bring the healer!"

"What did he do?"

"After the war was over, he....he survived! he survived Erawan and found us, other survivors as well! He is gathering all of us now, we will attack once we are large enough in numbers!"

"How did he survive? Aren't you all connected to Erawan? And where are you all located in?" Lorcan's voice came from behind her.

The valg however, didn't seem to be listening to him, violently shaking his head, shouting, "He survived! He is coming! You will die!"

And before any of them could react, the man went limp. Y/n quickly checked his neck, hoping to feel a heartbeat but, nothing. He was dead.

Y/n sighed as Manon said, "Well, atleast now we know that not all the valgs died."

Fenrys was the first one to leave, turning abruptly and exiting without a word to anyone, and without looking at her.

Rowan turned towards the door, "I will need to inform Aelin about this, Lorcan, inform the others."

Lorcan nodded as he followed the prince while Manon patted y/n on the shoulder, whispering a 'good job' and quickly left the room with Petrah who turned just once to look over her shoulder not at y/n or the dead man in the center of the room, but at Lucien who was just staring at his lifeless body.

Once they were gone, y/n put her hand on his shoulder and turned him towards her, "Lu, are you well?"

He looked at her, his mechanical eye just as wide as his other eye. "Y/n, let's....let's leave."

She nodded, silently leading the way out of the room.

Once they were out in the hall, she tried to ease the tension by nudging him with her shoulder, her tone turning playful as y/n gave him a smirk "So, what was that about?"

Lucien's brows furrowed as he turned to look at her while they kept walking, "What's what about?"

"You riding a wyvern with Petrah."

Lucien chuckled, "It's nothing, I was shocked when I saw that thing and then Petrah asked me if I wanted to join her for a ride and I....I got curious, I mean, we will leave this place at some point and Prythian doesn't have such adorable beasts so when am I ever gonna ride something like that again?"

Right, they will leave at some point.

She gave him a small smile, "Yeah....how- how is everything between you and Elain?"

Lucien's eyes dimmed as his smile turned serious "Just like how it was before you left. She still hasn't accepted me."

"Are you serious?! It's already been what? three years? I mean, if she doesn't want to have a mate, if she wants to reject the bond, then she has to say so. But for her to just keep on ignoring you without any words is pissing me off. Once we get back, I will have a word with her before I leave-"

"Alright, alright stop there for a moment" Lucien held both of his hands up to her as they both halted.

"Two things. First, don't tell her anything because I have dealt with her. I rejected our bond, and guess what? I was expecting some kind of pain or I don't know...an uncomfortable feel in my chest because after all, it's a bond that's breaking but....nothing. I felt absolutely nothing for rejecting her."

Y/n's eyes widened, "So, do you think my theory is right? That The Cauldron made a mistake when it mated you to her? That it was a momentary slip up? That there was no bond to begin with?"

Lucien shrugged, "Maybe. I don't really care but I do feel much more freer than I did when I felt like I had to put effort into making her like me."

When y/n opened her mouth to speak, he held up a hand, silencing her, "Now, second thing. What in The Mother's name do you mean by saying 'before I leave'? What happened?"

Yn sighed and turned to walk, Lucien quickly catching up with her, "Lu, Azriel has a mate."

Lucien stopped again, his eyebrows hit his hairline, "What?! Excuse me?! Please tell me it's you."

Y/n chuckled but kept walking, "Do you remember Gwyn? Turns out they were together for the past two years and the worst part is that.....that everyone in the inner circle knew except for me. They knew, Lu! They all knew and none of them thought of telling me! Instead they preferred to watch me suffer!"

Lucien grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her to look at him, "Y/n, but....but you seemed so well whenever I would come? Like, like you would be so happy and cheerful and your outgoing self? I never....I never even noticed. Oh Cauldron boil me-"

Y/n gently placed her hand on his shoulder, "Lu, please don't blame yourself. You are the only one who ever saw me for me. You would only stay there for a week, sometimes even less and you would be so stressed with your whole thing with Elain and whatever new information you would bring about Koschei and whatever else so obviously I wouldn't show it to you. But they.....they were there all the time. Mor had walked hundreds of times on me having a panick attack and did nothing. So I obviously do not plan on staying there anymore."

Lucien closed his eyes as his head tilted downwards, "I am so sorry, y/n. Once we are back, you know you will always have a place with me, Jurian and Vassa. If you want."

Y/n gave him a small but genuine smile as they slowly resumed their walking, "I know, Lu. And I am beyond grateful."

It was starting again. His nightmares were on him again. They stopped for one night and one night only. The night where y/n slept with him, the night that she was in his arms.

But now, now they were back. His nightmares would usually differ, never repeating the same memory twice, but instead showing another trauma each night.

Tonight, it was one of his memories with Maeve. It was the night she raped him countless times before ordering him to sleep naked right outside her door. It was a punishment for disobeying her orders. Because he healed Connall when he got injured severely while getting beaten up by one of her obedient little followers. Because Connall had disobeyed her too and done something. Something he refused to tell Fenrys. She wanted him to bleed and be on the verge of death as punishment. But, how could Fenrys just sit by and watch his own brother wither away?

She raped him. She put her disgusting hands on him knowing how much he hated it and got her way with him. He hated himself after that. But, what's the point now? Connall is dead anyway. You failed him, Fenrys. You failed your own brother. You are nothing-

"Fen, are you well?"

Her angelic voice soothed his growing demons, calmed his growing nightmares.

Fenrys turned his head to see y/n standing right beside his sitting form, in front of the large window they have in the hall between their rooms. She was wearing silk pants and a long sleeve, loose shirt. Both in white. Her adorable face held a mixture of concern and curiosity as she looked down on him.

And that nickname she gave him. That fucking nickname that only she is allowed to call him. No one else.

He sighed and turned his head back towards the large window, looking at the moonless night in front of him, "No, y/n. I am not well."

He felt her sit beside him and turn her head to look at his side profile. Her soft, soothing voice reached his ears even better when she was this up and close to him, "Do you....do you want to talk about it?"

For some reason, he did. For some reason, his chest tightened and he felt this need to, for the first time, open up and talk about his own troubles to someone.

So, with a small nod, he began. He told her of his childhood with Connall, of how they never knew their parents, of how they always only ever had each other. He talked about his blood oath to Maeve, he told her just a few of the tortures she put him and his brother through. Just a few of the things she made him do to innocents. The guilt, the shame that was eating away at him. The war and what happened during it. Connall's death. And lastly, the fact that it has been three years and he still can't move on, can't forget.

Once he was done, he turned his face to look at her, seeing her eyes shining with unshed tears. "So, y/n. You now saw the real me. My ugly truth that I hide inside me. It's best if you just run away now."

She slowly shook her head and put a gentle palm against his cheek.

Then, she said the sentence that shook his world.

"Don't do that. I am not scared of any part of you, Fen. How can I when I am just as scarred as you are? How can I, when I know the pain of such things? You showed me a raw part of yours, and for that, I am so grateful. I will cherish it forever. I care for all of you, both your beautiful and not so beautiful parts."

Fenrys had never felt this vulnerable yet safe in his life. The truth in her words as she looked at him with nothing but pure care and sympathy made him feel not weak or pitied but....safe, understood. He wanted to ask her about her story but from the look in her eyes, she wouldn't tell. He knew she wouldn't. This was supposed to be about him.

That care increased his heart rate even further. Caused him to feel things he never did.

He may regret this tomorrow, may go back to blaming himself again, but, he couldn't care any less right now.

Slowly, just an inch, he leaned closer to her and whispered, "Ask me to kiss you again."

Her eyes widened slightly as her plush lips parted.

But she did. She whispered, "Kiss me, Fenrys."

And with that, he closed his eyes and kissed her. He smashed their lips together as her arms went to his hair, holding him close, as she leaned back on the ground, bringing him with her, placing him completely between her parted legs.

He kissed her with a mixture of emotions. He kissed her hard but also soft, gently but also firmly, quickly but also slowly, messily but also lovingly. She kissed him back with the same amount of ferocity.

Then, his kisses moved to her jaw and then her neck. He kissed her slowly over where her injury once was and then, as he looked back her, for permission to take off her shirt, she slowly shook her head, no.

It was complete and utter darkness here anyway. The stars barely illuminated anything. But, she still didn't want him to take off her shirt. He would respect that either way. He kissed her over her clothing as he moved down, over her stomach and stopped just above her pants, once again looking back at her.

She hesitated again. Closing her eyes and then opening them again to look towards the window. Then, as if she understood that he can't see her body properly, nodded at him slowly.

There was definetly something. Something she wasn't telling him. But, it's alright. He would ask her at some point and hope that she would share it with him.

Fenrys slowly took ahold of the top of her pants and pulled them down. He pulled them down and off completely, before lying on his stomach and gently touching her ankles, her legs and then, her thighs.

He felt a couple of bumps along her skin but assumed they were probably injuries she got during fights or during the war. After all, what kind of a warrior doesn't have scars or wounds?

Her skin was still so soft though. So soft and creamy, he just wanted to keep touching her. He brought his face closer to her inner thighs, kissing them gently as he heard her take in a sharp breath. Her arousal, her sweet and perfect arousal, was hitting his nose as he came closer towards her core. Only a thin piece of fabric was stopping him now.

Fenrys once again lifted his head towards her, so that she could see him in the dark looking at her, questioning her, making sure.

He saw her give a slight nod of her head and that was all that he needed.

Fenrys brought his face back to her core as his hunger for her began taking over. As his thirst for her began taking over. He gave her a nice, long and torturously slow lick over her panties, causing a melodic moan to escape her.

Gods, she was perfect. Fenrys felt his own cock throbbing in his loose pants, but that could wait.

She whispered, "Please...."

Without waiting any longer or making this torturous for either of them, Fenrys quickly ripped apart her panties, causing a gasp to come out of her and then.....dear Gods.......her perfect, dripping cunt was right in front of him. Her arousal fully hitting his nose, taking over all of his sense, leaving only one thing behind: Greed. Greed to devpur her whole and leave nothing for anyone else. Greed to mark her up completely.

With a growl, he lifted a finger and gently touched her, smearing her arousal all over her lips. Y/n lifted her hips involuntarily, another string of 'please' falling off her kissable lips.

Fenrys let out an involuntary moan, "You are so perfect, princess."

And that was it, that was all he said before diving in. That was all he said before he began feasting on her like a madman. He ate her out as if he was dying and she was his only cure, like she was the only meal left in this world and he was a starving male.

He ate her out like she was fucking made for him.

With each lick, with each bite, his hunger for her only grew stronger, insatiable. Her moans and gasps too, grew louder, so much so that he had to snake a hand up, past her breasts and her neck, to cover her mouth.

His own throbbing, hard cock was killing him too. So, while he was feasting on his beautiful witch, Fenrys started humping the ground, searching for some relief too. This caused him to moan right into her pussy, making her back stretch out even more, her hands coming to grab and mess up his hair as she bit his hand.

Fenrys added his fingers, stimulating her with both his tounge and fingers and as he felt her warm walls begin to clench uncontrollably around him, he knew she was close. He was getting close too and that was a shock to him. Fenrys had never been on the verge of cumming this quick before. No one had ever made him this pent up and feral that he reached his edge this quick.

She was the first. His annoying, ferocious, angry little witchling was the first to ever make him cum this fast.

And all it took were a few more licks, bites, thrusts and she was gone. Y/n moaned deep and hard as she came all over his tounge and lower face. And he licked it all up. Fenrys drank every single drop of her sweet nectar, savouring its addicting taste. And as if on cue, he himself came inside his pants while he was still licking her up.

And through it all, his eyes never left hers. Even if it was dark, even if they couldn't clearly see one another, Fenrys kept his eyes on her face, knowing that she felt his eyes on her too.

Once he was finished, he sat up, gently putting her pants back on and pocketing her ripped underwear for....later.

He saw y/n's frame slowly sit up as well as he came closer to her, gently helping her up to her feet before asking, "I hope I didn't hurt you."

He felt her smile and cursed the darkness for keeping that beautiful view away from his eyes. She came closer and put her hands behind his neck, her breasts pressing to his naked chest, causing him to feel her nipples right against him. He barely held back a groan.

She got on her toes as Fenrys held her waist to keep her stable while she gently kissed him on the cheek and whispered, her voice hoarse and so damn sexy, "I had never cum so hard before, Fen. It was amazing. Thank you."

Fuck. He was absolutely doomed.

When she tried to move away, his arms closed completely around her, pressing her to him as his one arm lifted, his hand going to hold her behind her neck as he smashed their lips together once more.

He let her taste herself on his tounge as he kissed her with so much pent up lust and hunger, for her. Only and only for her.

Once he pulled back, he felt her heavy breaths as she whispered "Fenrys-"

"With every breath I take, Y/n," he whispered fervently, his voice a steady promise that caused her body to tremble slightly, "I'll stand by your side, shielding your light from any darkness that dares to fucking approach. You will ignite the world, and I will ensure it never dims. I swear it."

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Taglist: @ladespedidas @mis-lil-red @going-through-shit @kaitttttttt @blackgirlmagicforever

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@glaciuswduo

[artists-ally]

{She Gets The Flowers, Right?} Reader x Lucien Vanssera

You all can go and blame @thelov3lybookworm for the swarm of Lucien content y'all are gonna get from me. This is probably one of the saddest things I've ever written and it took me wwaayy back to a very shitty relationship I was in so if it seem extra personal it is 💀 Enjoy, title from this song!

Word Count: 3,108

Warnings: ANGST (just for you @bubybubsters) mentions of murder (in relation to Jesminda)

Summary: Lucine has been so focused on trying to win over Elain that he's never once stopped to consider that you're the one who's always been there for him.

~~~~~

The door slammed. A breath sighed from the entryway. I went stiff. 

“I don’t understand,” Lucien shouted. I could hear him kicking off his boots, hanging his jacket up on the rack by the door. “I thought we were finally making some progress and then nothing. Absolutely nothing today.”

I remained silent, swiping off the stuck scallions on my knife. “Sorry.”

“I mean, I get that she needs time to adjust, but Cauldron, Yn. It’s been nearly a year since the war ended. I’ve been patient, more than patient, and it’s like I’ve never made an effort.”

“Told you it was a bad idea.”

“What is it about me that she cannot stand? What does Azriel offer her that I don’t? He walks in the room and she lights up. What do I have to do to get her to look at me like that?” I just shrugged, moving to the sink to wash some sprouts and potatoes. Lucien was caught in this never ending cycle of trying to win over Elain. For the past year, almost year and a half, he has been torturing himself with something that obviously won’t be. 

“Do you think she’d enjoy it if I took her to the Summer Court? Maybe she’d enjoy a trip to Dawn?” Lucien sat at my kitchen table, tapping his heel on my hardwood floor with his arms crossed over his chest. “We did actually talk for a while today. She ended up telling me her plans for her fall garden.”

“Sounds nice.”

“But I just wish she would open up a little more. Every time we talk it’s like I have to pry it out of her.” “Mhmm.”

“It makes me so nervous when she closes up like this. I can’t imagine what is going through her head. She won’t tell me. She won’t tell anyone, which is concerning. I just wish she would at least tell someone about what is going on. I’d even be okay if she told Azriel.”

“Yeah.”

“If only she would just reach out. Even an inch, just tug on the bond and acknowledge that it’s there. It wouldn’t bother me as much if she would just give us a chance.”

Lucien continued to blabber again, droning on and on about how Elain won’t do this or talk about that. I tuned him out, biting back the sting of jealousy in my throat. That familiar prickle in my nose forced me to grip the spoon harder. 

He never listened to me anymore. He’d come and ask me for advice, to see what my opinion was on what he should do, and then blatantly do the opposite. But every time he came back, I’d give him more. Just like he was stuck in a loop with Elain, I was just as guilty of the same with him. 

I was the one who had found him on the border after his Jesminda was murdered. I had been there to help him get settled, to get revenge on his brothers who forced him to watch. For decades I have been doing the same thing he has for Elain. 

The only difference is I know how to take a hint. Luciene doesn’t. 

“... and then when I asked if she would join me for a walk, she refused. I mean, she knows how important it is to get outside every now and then. She had said she wanted to garden and plant new seedlings for the upcoming winter but… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Yeah I bet that’s tough.”

“Tough?” So he did know how to acknowledge the things I said. “It’s excruciating. You have no idea. Have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying?”

It took all the strength inside me to not hurl this knife at his head. “What’s the point anymore?”

“What?” “You don’t listen to anything I say anymore anyways, so why bother?” I snorted, shaking my head. “I could’ve announced my pregnancy right now and you would’ve been too lost in thought about her to even register.”

“You’re pregnant?” 

I slammed my knife down on the counter and whipped to face him. “No, I’m not. But if I was, I sure as hell wouldn’t tell you.”

“Why? We’re best friends, Yn. Don’t you think I’d wanna know if you were-”

“That is not the point of the conversation, Lucien,” I snapped. He just stared at me, waiting for an elaboration. I just sighed, “Whatever. Doesn’t matter.” “Did something happen today? You’re clearly in a bad mood.” “No. Absolutely nothing happened. Only that I had the grand opening of my restaurant today and you were nowhere to be found. You were with Elain.”

Lucien went silent. I could feel the energy shift from across the room. “Cauldron boil me… Yn I am so sorry. I thought that was next week, why didn’t you remind me yesterday?”

“I did,” I said. “I reminded you yesterday before you went up to the House to be with Elain. And the day before, and the day before that.”

“I think I would’ve remembered if-”

“Would you?” The tears were coming. Fast. It was a struggle to keep them from spilling over. “Because every time I’ve said anything, you’re talking about her. It’s always fucking her.”

“Why are you talking about Elain like that? What did she do to you?”

I just stopped moving. Stopped breathing. Stopped thinking. The chill that spread through my bones should’ve been enough to kill me. I ground my teeth together hard enough to crack. “Ever since we came to this gods damned Court all you have talked about is her. It’s like I’m not even here anymore.”

“That’s not true and you know it,” Lucien stood up. 

“When was the last time you asked how I was doing? If the designs for the menus are finished? If I’ve picked out new tiles for my bathing room or if I’ve finally finished that collage I was working on? How long has it been since we’ve been out together or gone diving in the Sidra? For fucks sake Lucien it’s like I’m best friends with a ghost.”

All Lucien offered was a turn of his palms, lips parting to answer but no words came out.

“Exactly. You can’t even remember. Any time we talk it’s always about her. It’s always Elain this and Elain that. I’m fucking sick of it, Lucien. You’re constantly asking for advice on what to do with her, but have you ever stopped and thought about what you’re doing?”

“Every day it haunts me that I can’t reach her, Yn,” Lucien's brows knit together. “I come to you because I value your advice.”

“Well you can stop. I don’t have any more to give. Now, you can either change the topic or get the fuck out because I’m sick of hearing about her. Today was supposed to be my day. I don’t ever ask you for anything, and this is the one thing I wanted. And you were supposed to be there for me, your friend, your best friend. But of course, the female who won’t give you the time of day has to take priority over someone you’ve known for almost a century.” 

“Are you so selfish that you can’t be happy for me for finding a mate after so many years? Are you that jealous that I’ve decided to spend some of my time with anyone else?”

Blinding red rage coursed through me. I let everything I had been holding back for months seep through. “How dare you say that to me.”

“Yn-”

“If you interrupt me I swear to the Mother that I will break your fucking neck.” I watched him swallow his response. “If you think I am unhappy with your bond then you don’t know me at all. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, Lucien. But I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me sick to my stomach.”

“Elain is sweet. Nurturing and caring,” Lucien pointed out. "What's so bad about that?"

“Does she know anything about you?”

 “We’ve… talked about some things.”

“So does she know about your brothers?” His face paled. “Does she know about all the fights you got in with Tamlin? Does she know about Jesminda or how many years it took you to be able to hear her name and not burst into tears at the first syllable?”

“That’s not fair.”

“I think it’s perfectly fair, Lucien,” I shouted. My skin was blisteringly hot. All control was quickly crumbling. “The moment Elain came along, you forgot all about me. I am the only living being that has been there with you through everything. Through the destruction of the Spring Court, through Hybern. You begged me to come with you to Velaris, I gave up everything for you.”

“You wanted to leave, too. Don’t put all this on me,” Lucien said, waving his arms in the air. 

“I did it because of you. How dense are you, Lucien? How blind are you to not see that every decision I have made since I met you has been for your well being?”

“I never asked that of you.”

“No, you didn’t. Because you’ve never once considered that I would do it without a second thought. I care about you. I was the one you wept to every time Elain rejected you, and yet, every single time you ran right back to her. I don’t know what you see in her. I think she has made it incredibly clear that she wants nothing to do with you.”

“You don’t know that. You don’t know anything about us.” Lucien’s eyes went dark, his mouth pressed in a flat line, nostrils flared. 

I scoffed. A harsh, bitter laugh falling from my lips. “Did you seriously just say that to me? All I do is listen to you complain about her and how she doesn’t open up. About how closed off she is. For Cauldron's sake, Lucien, you had the balls to come here after opening day, after blowing me off, to talk about her. Want some advice? Take a nice long look in the mirror.”

“Why can you just not accept the fact that I might want to have a relationship with her? Why can’t you be happy for me?”

“Because what does she have that I don’t? What is it about her that you could possibly like more than me? Cauldron damn me, Lucien, we live together. I cook for you every day, we have breakfast and tea together.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Lucien furrows his brows together.

I could feel my heart start to splinter into however many pieces to double the amount of stars in the sky. All the love and contained affection I’ve had since I met Lucien has washed away in a moment. All those heart to hearts, all those late nights spent atop the House of Wind… all for nothing.

“You’re right,” I nodded, letting several tears run down my cheeks. “It means nothing. I have no reason to be mad at you for simply wanting to find love.”

Lucien sighed, a heavy, grueling noise. “Yn-”

“You know, everyone from back home kept saying that I was making a mistake, that I shouldn’t run off here with you. I think they’re right. This was all a mistake. I should’ve left you to rot on the side of the border.”

Color flushed his face and neck. Silence cursed us and I could only hear my occasional sniffle and the rapid beating of my heart. 

“Tell me this, Lucien. Do her eyes look better when they shine?”

“What? Yn why are you-”

“Does she look prettier when she cries? Am I just too much to handle or-or too emotionally unstable?”

“You’re not too much, Yn. You’re perfect the way you are,” he shook his head, taking my hands in his. I rip them away.

“Then gods dammit Lucien, what is it about her that you love so much more than me?” I screamed.

He is stunned and silent. His mouth opens and closes. No words are coming out. My chest feels like it’s going to cave in any second. 

“Yn… what are you talking about? Are you in love with me?” That flicker deep within my chest erupts into a thousand colors. I bite my lips to keep from crying out. “You are… aren’t you?”

I just shake my head. “I asked you a question first.”

“No, you can’t do this to me, that's not fair.”

“Who gives a fuck what is fair, Lucien? You have discarded me to the side like I was nothing. Did you forget that I was the one who sacrificed her life for you? What has Elain done for you? Nothing. She has done nothing but distract you from the important things in your life.”

“Like you?” Lucien said with an equal amount of venom in his voice. “You are so selfish.”

“You want me to admit it?” I snarled, my face inches from his. “Fine, I’m jealous. I am so jealous that you look at her like she hung the moon and at me like I mean nothing to you. There is no worse feeling in the world than seeing you happy with her, wishing and praying to every god that it was me.”

Lucien just stands still. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Yn.”

“That you love me too!” I shout, pacing around. “You’re telling me that Elain, someone who refuses to give you anything but a cold shoulder, is going to get all the love and affection I so treacherously built back into you after Jesminda? Did you ever stop and think for one moment that there could be you and I? Tell me how the fuck that makes sense.”

“Yes, you took care of me, and I will be eternally grateful for what you’ve done for me. I can’t ever repay you for giving life back to me. But I can’t… I can’t force myself to love you, Yn. I just can’t.”

My body felt like it was on fire. And not the kind of blaze I got when I looked into his eyes. It felt like the bond I had carefully hidden for years was finally unbraiding inside my soul. But when my eyes did meet his… nothing. No burst of excitement or sense of relief. 

I felt utterly nothing as I looked at the man that has been in every single moment of my life for the past sixty years. 

“Please say something,” Lucien begged. 

I couldn’t. Not with this world obliterating feeling inside my chest. I could only stare at the floor. 

“Yn… Yn please don’t let this ruin what we have.”

“It was ruined the moment you walked in that door.” My voice was meek. 

I could see Lucien shake his head, but his features became a blurry whirlwind behind my tears. “Yn I’m begging you I’ll-”

“Get out.”

“No,” Lucien's voice cracked. “No, I'm not going to leave.” He came and grabbed my shoulders, trying to make me look at him.

“Leave, right now, or I’ll get someone who will.” I'll call for Azriel. That will really make his skin blister. He instantly let go. “I want all traces of you gone by tomorrow night.”

“You can’t do this to me. To us.”

“It’s clear you’ve made your decision on where your priorities lie. I refuse to be second place to you anymore.”

“You have never been second place to me, Yn. Never. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t valued. But I can’t love you. I’m not in love with you.”

“And that is why you have to go. Take care Lucien, I hope she was worth it.”

I don’t bother to show him to the door. He knows where it is. I don’t offer him any other farewells. He doesn’t deserve my good luck. Instead I return to my pots and pans, staring painfully at them. I have no choice but to force him away.

It might just kill me, this ache in my body. It might just engulf me and swallow me into the earth, back to wherever I came from and give me another shot. Hopefully the next one I’ll actually get what I deserve. 

As I stare at the meal before me, it’s like I’m looking at a fresh batch of pure despair. It brings me nothing but painful reminders of years ago back in the Spring Court. Where it was just the two of us. There was no Night Court, there was no emissary duty, there was no Feyre or Nesta or Elain. 

Just me and my Lucien. 

And now there was just me. 

I have to do something. Distantly I hear the door click shut, it’s groan signaling Lucien’s vacancy. As hard as I can, I throw a wooden spoon towards it. It’s gratifying, but it doesn’t dull the ancient pain inside. I throw another. And another. And another. Until there are no more wooden spoons left, and they have been fated to splinters. 

I began to throw away the food I was preparing. A pot full of potato and cheese soup goes first. The lamb in the oven goes next. Then the sweet cherry pie next to it. I stash away the cups and silverware, nearly shattering them in the process.

This was supposed to be a celebration. Of all the hard work I have put into my restaurant over the last several years. It was opening night, the line was a mile long. Even Rhys and Feyre were there to congratulate me.

But not the one person I wanted most. 

This dinner. This fucking dinner. It was his favorite. Though I suppose it still is. Something I made him when he was upset. But instead of settling my stomach, it made it wretch.

I should send the recipe to Elain, but change one ingredient. Replace the chives with cilantro. He hates cilantro. I know so much about him, he knows so much about me. 

Why… just why couldn’t it have worked?

I’ll never get to see him smile again. Or cry. I’ll never get to hear his laugh. Or braid his hair when he’s sick. I’ll never get to feel his arms around me or hear the sound of him coming in the door. If I’m not gone when he gets all his stuff tomorrow, I just might ask him to stay. 

I deserve better. Someone who will look at me like I’ve hung the moon. Who will pursue me the way Lucien pursues Elain. I deserve unconditional. 

I wish I could still deserve him.

~~~~~~~~~

Part 2

[sapphicmsmarvel]

the night courts justice

pairing: platonic!rhysand x reader

summary: rhysand learns your past traumas are more alike than he assumed.

Tw: MASSIVE trigger warning for r*pe being mentioned. Graphic, graphic violence. Feminine rage, unhinged female rage. Unhinged. 

Would like to preface: this is a work of fiction, uh, yeah. 

I know people write more detailed shit than I did however, I just wanted to give the violence disclaimer bc this is the most violent thing i've ever written (i usually just write fluff!)

Happy reading to my unhinged vengeful girlypops <3 

After you turned, you got bad. You had always struggled with depression, however the fae transformation increased that feeling. 

Rhysand noticed first because you were showing the signs that he did after under the mountain.

“You’re taking care of them, so they’ll be okay when you leave.”  He had approached you on the balcony.

You weren’t an idiot. “Sometimes, I do wonder what would happen if I just…” You waved your hands around. “Ceased.” 

“You wouldn’t see Feyre again.” His voice cracked. “She was what was keeping me from…ending it after I got back.” 

“I don’t know the extent of what happened to you.” You began, “but I can fill in the blanks.” 

“How so?” “From one rape victim to another, I can see the signs.” You simply stated.

It was silent and then, “Feyre found me that night.”  Your voice was a whisper in the wind.

He paused, he could feel the sorrow radiating off of you. You swallowed, “she found me abandoned in the woods, that’s where I was taken. At the time, we had no idea who it was, or where he was from. It was close to the wall. Hence how she found me. I had been there since the previous night. Missing for almost a whole day plus a night. She was hunting at night so people wouldn't get greedy when they saw her with prey. She brought me back to the cottage, her dad was asleep, Nesta woke up because I couldn’t get up the steps and she heard a bang.” You sucked in a deep breath, “I couldn’t get up the steps because….he had hurt me too badly.” He put a hand on your shoulder, he wasn’t one for physical affection like this with someone he barely knew, but he knew you needed it.

You didn’t push him away. 

“Fey and Nesta got me up the steps, it was the first time I had seen the two of them work as a team. They got me in the bath, cleaned up the blood that was staining my legs, my…everything.” 

He tried to keep his rage contained, however it was hard, you felt the air turn denser. 

“I appreciate the sentiment, Rhysand.” You laughed bitterly. “It’s over and done with.” 

“Do you want revenge?” 

You sighed, “Yes, which makes me terrible-”

“No it does not.” He hissed.

You shrugged, “it doesn’t matter.” 

After a brief silence he asked, “You said, at the time. Who was it?” 

“He was from the Spring Court. Not Tamlin or Lucien. Or the guy that Fey killed. But now that I am here, and I have the heightened senses. I recognize the different courts, it’s the smell. He smelled like the Spring Court.” 

“Can I see what he looked like?” Rhysand asked. 

You nodded and let him into your mind.

-------------------------------------------------------

During the war, it had completely slipped your mind that you had told Rhys about these things. Or rather showed him the face. Feyre had come back and then you were off fighting a war. Not too much time to dwell on things. 

But, one day you were called to “the torture chamber” as you called it, however Azriel disapproved even though he also agreed. He just didn’t like how blunt you were about it. 

“What is this?” You asked. 

That’s when you could smell it. The smell of dandelions and dewy grass. The smell that had haunted your nightmares long before Hybern had. You saw him tied to a chair, beaten and bloody, his mouth had a gag stuffed in it. Azriel was behind him, Rhysand off to the side and Feyre was behind you, she had come with you. But based off the look on her face, she knew all along. 

“You can either kill him or I will.” 

“Doesn’t this look bad, High Lord?” You asked, quirking an eyebrow. “If this gets out…” 

“Oh it can, I don’t particularly care, let them know I don’t tolerate anyone being raped, let alone someone in my court. Let Tamlin come and try to defend this.” 

“He’s an asshole, but he never raped me.” Feyre walked up and put a sword in your hands. “Gut him like a fish.” 

You took the sword, ready. You looked at him as he wept. “Do you remember me?” 

Silence. 

You lifted his head with the tip of the sword, drawing blood that trickled down the metal. 

Gods, nothing has ever looked so fun. 

“I said, do you remember me?” You asked in an innocent voice. 

He shook his head, screaming around the gag. 

You widened your eyes, mockingly, “you know I screamed that night too.” 

HIs eyes widened, you didn’t know if he was recognizing your scent, or if he had done this to multiple people and he’s trying to figure out which one you were. “You went across the wall, found an innocent sixteen year old girl. A child. You took me out there and you raped me. And then at the end, when I was crying into the dirt, begging for the Mother to put me to sleep so I would stop hurting; do you remember what you said?” You asked. 

He didn’t answer, so you shoved the blade in deeper, causing a bigger waterfall the color of revenge to cascade down the blade. “I asked a question.”

He shook his head. 

You let a cruel smile slip. “You said that with the way I was acting, I had it coming.” You laughed and his eyes widened. “And now, you’ll see what you’ve had coming all these years.” 

With that you moved the sword. He let out a breath, but then saw you go to the table and grab pliers. 

“How many people?” You asked starting with his finger, that’s when you saw the wedding ring. You laughed coldly. “What poor person did you trap?” 

He glared, you smiled and took the pliers and pulled off a fingernail. He screamed around his gag and it was music to you. “I ask again, how many?” 

He kept screaming, so you kept pulling. 

Once you started on the other hand, that’s when he stopped screaming and began nodding. “You’ll tell me?” You asked. 

He nodded so you removed the gag. “Nine.” 

You let out a laugh through your nose. Not a genuine one of course, but one that showed you were about to become even more angry. “Do you remember their faces?” 

He nodded and you looked at Rhysand, “if you’d ever be so kind. I want to pay them a visit.” 

To let them know their monster is dead, and he did not die a slow death. 

Rhysand nodded to let you know, he intruded the male's mind and then left the room with Feyre. 

He would show her their faces, she would draw from memory. Then you would find them to give them peace that he was dead. 

Only Azriel was left in the cell.

Then you smiled again, a twisted and evil one, “and now our fun begins.” 

That’s when you smelled the urine. 

And your smile grew bigger. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The male was later found staked to a rock by the wall. An ice pick through his forehead and his hands, pinning him to the old stone. The word “rapist” was carved into his naked chest. All fingers were broken and nine teeth were pulled out of his mouth. 

Then a letter was sent to eight houses, explaining that their monster was dead and if they chose to, they could see what became of him by going to a certain spot. 

All eight showed up. 

Well nine but no one could see her. No one could see her or the High Lord of Night Court watching. 

“You feel better?” 

You sighed, “murder is bad, however I can rest easy knowing he’s dead.” 

“Yeah, you definitely know he is.” 

You snorted, “I may have had a bit of fun.”

“He definitely deserved it, the thing with his penis though was twisted.” 

You laughed outright at that. “That was Azriel’s touch.” 

Rhysand shuddered, “once again the guy deserved it, but Gods, you filet’d that thing.” 

“They’ll find it in the autopsy.” You shrugged, sipping your hot chocolate, that fought off the cold Sunday morning. 

He lifted his cup over for a cheers and you clinked, and both of you took a sip. “We’re fucked in the head aren’t we?” You said. 

He nodded, “Oh we definitely are. At least we’re surrounded by other fucked individuals.” 

“Cheers to that.” 

And once again you clinked mugs. 

-------------------------------------------

The next day you were called into the Feyre and Rhysand’s office, part of you wondered if it meant that the mortals had connected the murder of the Night Court and now you’d have to pay for what you’d done. 

But when you walked in, Feyre was smiling genuinely. 

Rhysand gave her a loving look, “could you at least pretend it’s something bad just to mess with her?” He drawled teasingly. 

“She’s my best friend, she’d know I was lying.” Feyre responded as if Rhysand was dumb. 

Could confirm, you would know. 

“I thought I was your best friend.” Rhysand put a hand to his chest as if he was offended but you both could tell he was not. 

You and Feyre shared a look and rolled your eyes in unison. 

“Can I just know what’s going on?” You asked. 

“We want you to be the Night Court’s Justice.” “...Isn’t that what Azriel is for?” 

“Azriel is for collecting information on enemies. You will basically be an assassin for us.” Rhysand explained. “If you so desire.” 

“Who would I go after?” 

“Anybody that poses a threat to my family.” His eyes flashed with anger. “Someone hurts anyone, including you. Then you have our full permission to slit their throats.” He said. “Obviously, we’d give you assignments. When you don’t have assignments you’d be working alongside Azriel.”

You nodded and then went, “fuck it. Okay.” 

“You don’t want to think about it?” Feyre asked. 

“If I’m taking out people that are like the bastard I just killed, then I will do it. Rapists deserve nothing else.” 

Rhysand smirked, “welcome to the court.”

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Missing You | Lucien x Reader

Summary: After coming back home from a long trip to Autumn Court due to his emissary duties, Lucien is exhausted, but still more than willing for whatever touch you’ll give him.

Word Count: ~ 1.3k

Warnings: Lucien’s bad relationship w Eris, smut but like…comfort smut? is that a thing? p in v, sub lulu, yknow

Minors, do not interact!

A/N: I have not been feeding y’all good😔 so here’s a lucien fic since we all know he’s the best character in acotar hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

As the somewhat-official emissary of Night Court, there were things Lucien had to handle.

Such as the impossibly long mission he’d been sent on, an excursion to Autumn, to get reassurances that everything was running smoothly with Eris installed as the newest High Lord following a few recent riots and whatnot. The visit had been…awkward, to say the least, considering how Lucien wasn’t the closest with his elder brother.

Things were getting better between them. Slowly, but surely.

As soon as he was back in Velaris, the report he knew he should go give Rhysand be damned, he stumbled to the door of the home you two had, a simple, but warm and cozy one. Fitting for you, he always thought.

It was late then, he could hear the chirping of the nighttime bugs of Velaris, the birds quietly cawing before settling down. The moon was out tonight, in its waning stage. Clouds aimlessly drifted past in the midnight sky, and as soon as he had taken one step through the dod frame, he felt a small warm form collide with his body as you threw your arms around his neck.

“Gods, I missed you.”

You murmured into his ear, and he smiled softly, arms loosely embracing you back. And then he was suddenly all too aware of the grime and sweat soaking him from the journey home, the sleepless nights, and his anxieties.

“I know, love, but I need to take a shower.”

He relied in an almost apologetic tone, giving a small kiss on the forehead to you, before pulling out of the embrace even when you whined and pouted at him.

“Alone?”

You asked, giving him a pleading look. He sighed and nodded. Even after being alone in Autumn for so long, he needed time to decompress in a safe space, which was here. As much as you hated separating from him, you mumbled a little “okay” before he left to enter the bathroom.

*********************************************************

You had seen the exhaustion in his body language, the way his shoulders caved in, weighed down. Or how he hadn’t even noticed the dinner set out on the table, one that you’d specially made for him.

You couldn’t blame him for it, though. He hadn’t known, you told yourself as you slid the food into glass containers for tomorrow, how long you’d spent on it. And you couldn’t bear to be angry at him right now, when he’d been away so long, and had to be around his older brother as well. He’d slowly opened up about the problems between the two of them, the gap that never seemed to fill.

You felt bad for him, truly, but there wasn’t much you could do to comfort him other than give him space and be there when he needed you.

The sounds of the shower started up, water flowing down and hitting the bottom of the tub. Every second of that shower felt like an eternity because even though you knew he needed a little time to himself, you just wanted to hold him impossibly close and feel every inch of him and remember that this was real, that he was here and back.

Still caught up in your thoughts, you put up the now-packaged food and turned the kitchen lights off, walking quietly into your shared bedroom, and slipping your clothes off to don a thin, cotton nightgown. The material was always just lightweight enough to be breathable for your skin.

You sat down on the edge of the bed, before moving under the covers, shuffling around a bit to get comfortable and stretch the tension out of your body.

Not long after, your eyes began feeling heavy as you blinked, and the shower stopped, before Lucien stepped out of the bathroom, a towel hanging loosely around his waist. If the earlier signs that he was tired weren’t enough, the fact that he didn’t even go through with his skincare or haircare routine tonight showed it clearly. He was usually so strict about it, the specific serums and oils, his hair masks and hydration, honestly sometimes it seemed more like he was speaking a different language when he tried to explain it.

But you liked hearing him talk about things he was invested in.

“Luci..”

You mumbled, sitting up slowly and rubbing your eyes. He only barely pulled some boxers on before collapsing into the bed beside you, one arm trying to pull you close. He sighed deeply, inhaling as much of your scent as he could when you moved closer.

“Missed this,”

He mumbled, looking like he was in a daze. Your hands began gently roaming his skin, beginning with his shoulders, rubbing the tension out of them as best as you could. The angle you were at currently wasn’t too great for it, though, so you shifted to where you were almost straddling him, your body lying above his limp one.

“Careful, I’m-“

The words died in his throat as he let out a breathy groan when you hit a particularly stiff spot. You leaned down slightly, letting your lips brush against his jaw, before starting a light trail down his golden-tanned skin. Every little inch of him received your kisses, his biceps, his abdomen, his legs, face, then you were at his inner thigh, gently rubbing the skin as his breathing turned to little pants.

You hooked a finger on the edge of his boxers, slowly tugging them down as you continued your exploration, all the way down to his cock. It was half-hard, and every tiny movement you made anywhere near it made it twitch. Your tongue darted out to give a little lick, at which Lucien whimpered, and then it was throbbing. Your hand snuck up your nightgown, pushing your panties aside as you began slipping fingers in, stretching and rubbing.

“Lulu,”

You cooed softly, a nickname you’d made for him long ago, and even to this day you swore the tips of his ears turned a light shade of pink when you used it. He sniffled, looking down at you with what almost looked like a pout. Sure, you’d seen him submissive before, but never just so utterly defeated and whiny.

“Please.”

He whispered, hips trying and failing to buck up, his body failing him. You gave a little lick again to his length, before you let your fingers slip out of you, and slid up a bit against his body. As soon as he saw your glistening fingers, his mouth was open and inviting, and you didn’t deny him any longer, letting his deft tongue lick and suck the slick from your fingers. His eyes rolled back in his head, growing slightly glazed over with lust.

You shifted a bit more, pulling your fingers away, only to gently wrap that hand around his dick, managing to pull a light gasp out of him from it, as you slowly sunk onto him. He whimpered and groaned, body near trembling as you suffered the slightly painful stretch.

When he was finally, finally all the way in, you let out a ragged sigh of relief, leaning down to lay against his chest, arms folding easily around him. He buried his face in the nook of your shoulder, hips barely able to move other than the tiniest bit of rocking back and forth. It was barely perceptible, but more than enough for the both of you.

You weren’t sure how long the two of you remained like that, hips barely rocking back and forth until you came undone around him with little more than a moan, and he spilled into you with a whimper. Tonight wasn’t the night for hard, demanding sex. Sometimes you both just needed something comfortable and soothing, while both were able to feel each other.

He eventually drifted off to sleep, breathing and falling into a deep rhythm, and you were soon to join him.

[scorpioriesling]

Bad Idea, Right?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Lucien x reader

Warnings: SMUT oh my -- 18+, MDNI

Summary: Do they like eachother? No. Did they want to go on this mission together? Also, no. Did they plan to share a bed tonight? Definitely not! But are they complaining? Well...

SR’s Note: Using prompts #6, #17, #25, #50, #63, #72 as requested for @hardcoremarvelfan <3 This is absolute filth I hope this is what you wanted HAHA

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

“Why would Rhysand send you anyway? I’ve been a perfectly good emissary up until now.”

You couldn’t believe the gall that your High Lord had — sending an emissary from another court, just to help you with what you deemed a simple mission. You’d been to the Winter Court before, what was the deal with sending a Spring Court dweller with you?

“Must not be all that good,” the redhead chides. “Not good enough to travel to Winter to make a bargain, without me, that is.” You roll your eyes hard, continuing to walk two paces ahead of the Vanserra you were stuck with for the next few days.

“Whatever. You didn’t have to come, he isn’t technically your High Lord — he can’t make you do anything.” You purse your lips, hoping the dig hit its mark that Lucien technically didn’t belong to the Night Court. Hearing his exasperated sigh behind you, you know it did.

“So you say.” Is his only tired response. You had to admit, the dusk that had finally set over the horizon had you yawning every few minutes as well, the long day of travel finally catching up to you.

“Are you,” Lucien pauses behind you, and glancing back you catch his yawn as well. “…too tired to keep going?” He asks. “Maybe if you can’t complete this remedial request for your High Lord, you should head back. Get your beauty sleep.” He chuckles. You whip around to face him, a scowl plastered on your face.

“Get lost, Lucien.” You growl. He only stares past you, which has you glancing at the clearing beyond. A small trail of smoke breaks across the skyline.

“Hmm. An inn. How lucky.” You shrug. Lucien rolls his eyes, striding past you.

“I’d only be so lucky to have a few hours apart,” he scoffs.

You gasp dramatically, walking quicker than you’d like to catch up. “Oh please, you’d only be so lucky to spend the night with me.” Lucien simply shakes his head, continuing on his war path toward the inn.

And oh, was he lucky that night.

“You really don’t have anything else?” Lucien pleads with the pretty female behind the front desk. She sighs, shaking her head apologetically.

“I’m so sorry, this is the last room we have for the night.” She seems to address the both of you, however her eyes are glued to Lucien. He sends her a soft smile, taking the key she’s holding out for him.

“That’ll just have to do then.” He glances at you, and you roll your eyes. “Thank you.” The woman nods eagerly, and you are walking toward the stairs in an instant.

“I can’t believe this is all they had left.” You complain, setting down your pack and approaching the unmade bed. Lucien softly closes the door, glancing at your motions to prepare the bed with the clean sheets folded atop it.

“Better than nothing.” He deadpans. You begin stretching the sheets over the corners of the bed, quickly working on one side, then the other. Lucien simply watches, arms folded.

“It’s no wonder you’ve taken so many lovers,” he teases. “With the way you always make a show of bending over like that-“

“Ya know, I could really use your help, not your attitude.” You interject. He simply chuckles, moving toward the small bathing chamber attached to your bedroom.

“Or I could make the best use of my time in the shower.” He smirks, opening the door.

“Whatever. You’ll do what you want anyway.” You continue wrestling with the corner of the sheet you have handy.

“And I’ve never taken any lover, not of enjoyment, anyway.” You mutter as the door finally shuts behind him.

Once you’re finally satisfied with the bed presentation, you’re quick to change into the tank and shorts you have with you, the sheets providing comfort as you lay upon them. You can’t help but glance around for an open window as a chill hangs in the air, but you find none. Just another cold, barren night, spent with none other than Lucien. Fantastic.

You’re snuggled under the covers when the bathroom door opens, steam rolling out and momentarily warming your exposed skin. Lucien doesn’t bat an eye as he changes into nothing but sleep shorts before you — thank the Gods his back is turned. You can’t help but watch every muscle in his back as he tugs them on, blushing at the intruding thoughts creeping in.

No. Lucien was… annoying, remember? Annoyingly beautiful, yes, but ugh, could he get under your skin. Almost as easily as he was getting under the blankets beside you.

“Hands to yourself, Y/N.” He grins as he turns on his side, his back facing you once more. You scoff, your eyes narrowing at the back of his head and the dampened locks splayed on the pillow beneath.

“Please, Lucien. Spare me for once.” You faux-beg. He turns slightly, nose scrunched.

“Hey, I don’t know what you think about alone at night,” he accuses.

“Who said I was alone?” You quip. Sure, he was right, but you’d never let him know that.

“Right,” he drawls. “I forgot about all the lovers you take to bed each night.” You don’t have the energy for another tiff, so you just lay quietly. He turns, laying on his back and looking sidelong at you.

“Or is it just your imaginations you have to get you through the nights?” He implies. “Your fantasies?”

You only narrow your eyes at him, but his light up at your reaction, a cruel smile curving his lips.

“Tell me, Y/N — do you fantasize about me?” He wiggles his eyebrows, and you smack his shoulder, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“Lucien! Gross,” you chastise. He only laughs at you, and you turn away from him, staring now at the wall beside you. “Just do us both a favor and go to bed.” He only chuckles once more, the movement of his abdomen rather close to the small of your back than you’d noticed before.

You’d be an idiot to not notice the tension, the heat between you two warming your skin. You could practically feel his eyes staring into the back of your head. In seconds, he’s scooted close enough to spoon you, his hands lightly drifting to grip your chin between his fingers.

You barely have time to gasp as he says, “Beg for it.”

Your eyes widen, and you take in his darkened features as he tilts you to face him. He’s solely focused on you, his eyes switching between yours and your lips — you can’t help but do the same. His features are illuminated in the small candlelight of the room, highlighting the panes of his face flawlessly. You know you shouldn’t — and this is a really bad idea, right?

“Oh come on, Y/N,” he pleads. “You’ve been such a tease…” he trails off, his idle hand tracing along the curve of your hip, snaking upward until it finds purchase on your left breast. His fingers slowly trace circles around your nipple through your tank top, and your breath comes out in short pants.

“If you really want me to go to bed, just say the words,” he purrs. You nod slowly, ever entranced by the stunning man moving beside you. This is wrong, this is so wrong-

“Lucien,” you whisper. He bites on his lower lip, reveling in the way your nipple hardens below his tantalizing touch. You wished you could bite it for him, put your mouth on his, let out your frustration for every second you’d been forced to be with him-

“Mhm?” He coos. You don’t say another word as he slides overtop of you, leaning in to press a small kiss to your collarbone. He continues a path of wet kisses down, leaving your top on and going right over top of it. Gods, why must he torture you?

Reaching the hem of your shorts, he glances to you for only a moment before yanking them down harshly. A small squeak leaves your mouth as he tosses them aside, the cool air hitting your core sending goosebumps over your skin.

“Look at you,” he murmurs. “So… pent up and needy.” He runs his index finger through your folds, gathering a trail of your wetness as he goes. You groan, eyes fluttering shut.

“Lucien, please,” you grit out. He chuckles below you, and slides his finger inside of your slick entrance. A hum of approval from you doesn’t go unnoticed as he slowly moves it in and out, eyes watching as your face contorts in pleasure.

“Good thing I’m here to take care of you, huh,” he teases. You glare at him, and he only adds speed to his ministrations which send another soft moan flying from your lips. His mouth finds your jawline, kissing across it before biting softly just below the soft spot where it meets your neck. You gasp, hands leaving their grip on the sheets and instead threading through the damp tendrils of Lucien's hair. He growls lowly, his palm roughly hitting your clit as he continues to pump two of his fingers now inside of you.

As you feel the pressure building in the bottom of your stomach, he pulls his fingers from you, and you whine, a silent plea for more. He chuckles again, bringing his fingers to your lips instead.

"Open." Is all he says, and you gaze up at him, popping your lips open as he slides in, allowing you to taste yourself. His thumb slides over the fat of your bottom lip as his lustful gaze travels from your lips sucking greedily on his fingers to the swell of your breasts still concealed beneath your tight top.

"Good girl," he purrs, and the action and praise alone have you rubbing your thighs together with the need for more. All of it has you questioning why you disliked one another so much to begin with...

"Tsk tsk," he pulls his fingers out, using both hands to spread your legs apart and shove your knees up to your chest in a mating press position. The cool air on your exposed pussy has your core throbbing, aching for a release you know he could give you.

"Lucien..." you groan. He leans in, positining himself between your legs with his lips so close to yours that you share a breath. His auburn hair falls from his shoulders in soft waves, tickling your collarbone.

"I told you," he mutters. "You'll have to beg me for it."

Ahh, there it is. The reminder of why you hated him so much; here it is. Arrogant, self-absorbed-

"Cat got your tongue?" He chuckles. You glare up at him, your hand snaking between the two of you and dipping below the seam of his shorts. He's already hard, your fingers bracing around the length of his cock only draw a suprised grunt from him. He doesn't stop you as you begin quickly moving your hand, a tiny trail of precum wetting the top of your palm as you pump him. He groans in pleasure, his eyes closing for only a moment.

"No, a fox." You chuckle. His eyes snap open, finding yours to glower at you. In seconds, he sits back, too far from your grasp that you are forced to let go and retract your hand. His fingers grip the hem of your top, shoving it over your boobs and pulling it over your head without thought. He tosses it aside, not caring where it lands. He then pushes you into the mattress, his hips pinning yours and his hand holding one of yours above your head.

"You're really," his free hand finds his cock, sliding over it once. "…really...” another stroke. “…annoying," he sneers. You roll your eyes, breathing heavily underneath him in anticipation.

"Don't go thinking I'm doing this because I like you," you fire back. He chuckles, stroking himself slowly twice more before aligning himself with your entrance and slowly pushing himself inside. Your mouth drops open, and you meet his hauty gaze as he continues to push in, inch by inch.

"We'll see if you still hate me by the end of the night." He pulls out, almost all the way to the tip, and slams back in, all the way to the hilt.

"FUCK," you shout. He pulls out, again, slamming back in once more, and again, and again. Each time he pulls out less and less, his thrusts becoming faster and more needy as he continues to fuck all of himself inside of you.

"Lucien.... ohhhh fuck Lucien," you moan. He pants above you, his gaze drifting to where his dick is constantly pounding into you mercilessly, and you can't help but become more turned on by the sight of his teeth sunk into his bottom lip, low grunts of pleasure rolling from his throat. His hands move to grip the backs of your legs, pushing them up farther so he can continue to fuck you as deep as possible.

"Lucien... I'm-" You feel the heat already approaching, your stomach twisting with the need to release. He looks up at you, eyes dark with lust.

"Fuck... cum all over this cock Y/N," he growls. You gasp, the wave of pleasure crashing over you as his thrusts only speed up.

"Mmmmhm," he praises. You writhe at the overstimulation, squirming and crying out in pleasure as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm. His fingers wrap around your neck as his other hand grips your hip to hold you still.

"We're not done yet," he grunts. You breathe deep, your breasts bouncing with every sharp hit of his cock inside of you, and his eyes meet yours.

"You take me so good, fuck... I won't last much longer." He sighs. You already feel another orgasm quickly building; but there's no way in Hell you'd let him know that. His ego definately didn't need it.

"Is this what you fantasize about, Lucien?" You say as sweetly as you can through your heavy breathing. You expect a snarky response, but you watch as Lucien's head tips back and he pounds into you harder. A soft groan rumbles from his throat, his eyes pinched shut in pure bliss. You have to admit — it’s one of the hottest scenes you’d ever seen, an image now burned into your brain whether you liked it or not.

"Gods, Y/N -- do you know how badly I've wanted you?" He breathes, and you stare silently up at him in shock. It's only a few moments before he realizes what he's admitted, his eyes widening in what looks like… shame?

Before you can think, rationalize your actions, you move your fingers along the skin of his hand still bracing your throat.

"Tell me exactly what you want." You whisper. He halts his movements, slowing down and leaning to your level. His lips are mere inches from yours, and although you'd really just want his mouth on yours right now, he stares at you through his half-lidded eyes and softly commands;

"Flip over -- ass up for me."

He releases the hold on your neck, and you scramble to do as he's requested, already missing the feeling of his big dick stretching you out so deliciously. Your legs tangle beneath you, and he moves only when you're leaning on your forearms with your butt in the air for him to grip your ass in his large, warm hands.

"Y/N... you're..." he sighs. You turn your face slightly, peering at him over your shoulder as he marvels at the way your butt moves when he squeezes it beneath his palms. It isn't long before he's moving behind you, his thighs brushing yours as the familiar stretch comes once more. He lets out a loud groan this time at the feeling, not taking as long to thrust into you once more and pick up the pace.

Soft grunts escape your throat for every thrust he provides, and you watch as his hands grip at your waist to bring your butt flush with his hips, sheathing his cock fully inside of you. He speeds up a little more, continuing to gaze down at your ass as it bounces against him with every drive.

"I'm.... I’m what… I… ohhh," you moan. You can't get the words out, can barely form thoughts over the way he's fucking you, the way his cock feels against your walls, filling you in a way you hadn't had before.

"Mmmh, Y/N," another huff, and his hand softly smacks against your butt. You gasp, and he groans before continuing. "You're fucking perfect," he goes on.

You can't help but blush at his words, even in your fucked-out state. "Oh Gods... you're made for this dick, hmm?" he says, his grip on your waist tightening as he pushes in faster.

"Lucien..." You moan. The heat in your stomach builds again, so so close you can't hold on much longer. You feel his fingers winding through your hair, gripping softly but forced enough to draw you up, your back hitting his toned chest as his short breaths softly grace your ear.

You cry out at the new angle, pleasure surging through every vein as his wandering hand finds your breast, kneading and pinching the left nipple.

"My fucking perfect girl," he growls.

"Oh.... oh Lucien I'm so close-"

"Mhm that's it, cum for me again," he drives in hard, and you moan loudly as your legs begin to shake, your orgasm barreling through you harder than it did the first time. Lucien only thrusts in twice more before the sweet sound of him chanting your name rings out, and his warm seed is spilling inside of you. He holds you tight, both of his hands wrapped around you as he lowers you to the bed, the finality of your combined waves of pleasure drawing near.

When he pulls out, a string of clear semen trails from his tip to your entrance as he moves from the bed toward the bathroom.

You glance over your shoulder, still panting as you make out his form retreating toward you, towelette in hand. He runs the warmed cloth over you, pulling it from reach when you silently hold your hand out to do it yourself.

Once he's sure he's got it all, he simply tosses it to the ground as he did your tank top, slipping under the covers beside you and pulling the sheets over your body.

Maybe rational thought hasn't returned yet, you think as he pulls you close, his body heat warming you through the chill in the air. You fit perfectly against him, your back to his front as his fingers trace idle circles along the column of your spine. You can't help but feel... relaxed, despite the rather wild activities you'd just engaged in.

You're almost drifted completely off to sleep, the comfort and warmth surrounding you wholly when you feel soft lips brush your cheek. You can't help but smile, Lucien's voice the last thing you hear before sleep engulfs you in full.

"Still claim to hate me, sweetheart?"

* ✧･ﾟ: *

[starcleere]

Randumb headcanons

1. Nebarra teaches Secunda how to fight when camping. He says it's because her melee style is so pathetic it makes an old elf cry, but it's really because he cares, and the last time Secunda ran out of magicka mid-battle...

2. Lucien likes to read every book they pick up on their adventures. Eris doesn't read due to her lack of vision, but she stands by Lucien's tent to overhear him read the books out loud (as he does by habit). Lucien, realizing this, begins to leave his tent open and 'not notice' Eris standing right outside.

3. When Lucien moved into Dumzbthar for a bit, Remiel insisted on coming along. The only reason why she wasn't able to is because everyone else can imagine what horrors would come from leaving Remiel and Lucien in a dwemer ruin unsupervised.

4. Remiel and the Knight of the Void are both insomniacs, and chances are, they're sharing nightwatch duty. The Knight finds the clicking and clacking of Remiel's machines to be relaxing, while Remiel walks her through her invention of the evening. Turns out, the Knight is a good sounding board for upgrade ideas.

5. Auri often listens to the trees, a rare silent moment when she closes her eyes and feels the breeze pass through the leaves. Caryalind once asked Auri about this, and now, they listen to the trees together, hanging at the back of the group and feeling the sunlight on their skin

6. Taliesin sees Remiel as a little sister. A troublesome, constantly distracted, little sister. While he won't let her try her hand at enchanting Berwhale, he is more than happy to show her how to do powerful enchantments for Scrap.

7. Inigo is a very honest person, in an innocent kind of way. He is often the therapist of the gang, and his earnest and patient nature has made him Gore's best buddy, especially when Gore feels heavy from his past.

8. Kaidan regularly drills the gang for the next fight, flanked by Inigo and Auri. He's surprisingly protective of everyone and makes absolutely share they're all at their best and brightest, even if it means sore muscles and liquid bones by morning.

9. Xelzaz cooks, but there's a rotation on who gathers ingredients and hunts. Everyone fights for the spot because the assigned gatherer gets to have extra helpings.

10. All the archers have shooting contests. It always escalates. They never settle on a winner.

[multifictional]

A Court of Burning Seasons || Part 1

— > eris vanserra × archeron!reader, lucien vanserra x elain archeron

• Part 1: Elain starts to confide in her sister, y/n remains close off but offers support while they both prepare for a festival in the human lands. Elain remembers her moment with Lucien as she told him about her choice.

• Summary: [Y/N] Archeron always felt the pull of autumn, even as a human. The fallen leaves, the warm colours, the spicy sweets, even her birthday. For Elain, it was the sun and the way of feeding her gardens and flowers with its light. Together in the Night Court after being thrown into the Cauldron, they both feel out of place. But while Elain has her growing bond with Lucien, [y/n] remains an outsider. With her powers still silents even after years, she feels a longing she can't quite place. A mating bond with Eris Vanserra is the last thing she expects and also what she seemed to need. But nothing is ever easy as it seems in Prythian, especially not with Beron impeding presence and courts rivalries always finding a way of creating complications.

• Warnings: focused mostly on elucien and the relationship between Elain and y/n, with a mention of Lucien’s past love. Eris doesn’t appear yet, but his time will come soon enough I promise!!

• Word count: 5k (I know, it’s so long and I’m sorry, but it was necessary for the set up)

[introduction]

You didn’t hear Elain come in, or maybe you just pretended not to.

The late afternoon sky outside your window was already inked with stars, Velaris perpetual night cloaking the city. It seemed midnight, though the day was far from over. That was how things worked there, darkness at every corner, every hour. Extremely beautiful for some, but strictly suffocating for you.

Elain hesitated at the doorway, her footsteps soft but not silent. She wasn't unfamiliar with the sight of you, still and quiet, your mind clearly somewhere else. It was usual. You always were lost in thought, but there was something now that made her pause with familiarity. The guarded way you carried yourself, the weight behind your mask of silence, Elain knew it all too well. She understood it.

Because it was similar to the weight she had been carrying, too.

Still, she was the one that understood you the most.

“Do you miss it?” Elain asked, finally breaking the silence.

You didn't move, didn't turn to look at her. “The human lands?”

Elain stepped closer, her voice softer now. “Everything.”

The question lingered, filling the room like a breath neither of you were ready to release.

“It doesn’t matter," you said at last. Your voice was low, but there was no mistaking the bitterness in it. "It's all the same. I didn't belong there, and I don't belong here. My destiny has taken an awful liking in reminding me I never belonged anywhere."

Elain's expression softened further, though she said nothing. She knew you well enough to recognize when you weren't ready to hear her argue otherwise, although she wanted to. But even in your stubbornness, she could see the truth in your words.

She was no stranger in how you felt in your past human life.

Elain stepped beside you, her gaze following yours out of the window and into the starlight horizon. “Were you counting them?”

You blinked and stared at her, startled for just a moment before putting your walls back on. But Elain wouldn't give up.

“Is that your replacement of picking up fallen leaves?” she teased gently, though there was no mockery in her words, only her usual apprehension, the only one capable of getting at you.

Elain had always known why you started doing that in the first place, if only counting stars didn't made things worse. Stars could never comfort you like dying leaves used to. They only reminded you of how out of place you'd always been.

“I tried,” you managed an half smile. “Not the same at all.

The silence returned, thick but never heavy, familiar in its own way. Usually, Elain wouldn't mind it, both of you thrived in the unspoken words of your bond, which never needed constant noise to affirm itself, especially not after what had happened with the Cauldron.

But today, Elain had come to talk.

And you were too observant to miss it. The way she seemed... different. Nervous, relieved, and even impatient, it seemed.

“There is a reason in particular you came here?” you prompted, casually. “Or you just wanted to be delighted by my presence?”

"Yes. There is," she said, shifting awkwardly. Her voice was light, but you caught the nerves she tried to hide behind it. "Two reason, actually. And you won't like one of them."

"I won't like it, you say? I'm almost afraid to ask," you turned to face her fully, your arms crossing over your chest. "Start with this one, then."

She gave you a faint smile before giving in to your request. "Feyre and Rhysand will be coming too.”

Your response was immediate. A sharp snort, deliberate, more amused than anything else. Of course they would. "Should I be surprised?" you said, rolling your eyes. "They don't trust us to handle our own, don't they? They just can't help themselves. Of course, Mother forbid us stepping out out of their sight for more than a minute!"

Elain winced at the sharp edge of your tone, but she said nothing. You turned away then, pacing towards your bed as you muttered to yourself. "They believe Velaris is the only thing worth protecting, but they expect loyalty in return, while keeping us at arm's length. They want all of us to fall in line, no question asked at all."

It wasn't the first time you said something of the sorts, and Elain doubted it would be the last. She knew what you felt about Feyre and and Rhysand, and how your sister's action had shaped your existences without consent or consideration. Elain didn't disagree, not completely, at least. She had learned, eventially, to make her peace with it in a way you hadn't.

“At least we can go back, for once," she said, trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. "To the human lands, to the festival."

Sensing how hopeful and excited she sounded, you gave her a pointed look, skepticism written all over your face. "We both know why we're really going. Do you thing is about reminiscing sweet old times? No, it's not about the festival. It never will be. It's an excuse about politics for them. Checking alliances, keeping tabs on humans. That's all it ever is."

"Maybe," she patiently conceded. "But does it really matter why they go? We could still enjoy it, you know. A quiet night. Away from here. Together."

Your hesitation crumbled, just a little. Elain could see the resistance in your expression, but also how mentioning to step outside the Night Court, even for a few hours, was the right string to pull. You would do anything to get away from Velaris, and she knew it. It was the only way you could finally breathe, at least for a little while.

With a final sigh, you relented. "You know I'm coming. I already promised you this. And I've never broken a promise to you, not once. And you know it."

Elain's smile grew, relieved by your acceptance. "No, you never did."

That simple truth, the unwavering loyalty you shared, even more than with your other sisters, meant more to her than she could put into words. But that wasn't all. There was something else she needed to address with you. The weight of it pressed heavily on her chest like a machete.

"Besides, it's autumn time in the human lands, you will enjoy it."

You tried to seem indifferent. But the mention of the season that always made you feel a little bit like home, made your eyes sparkle. Elain noticed that, and smiled amusingly.

"What's the other thing?" you prompted, watching her closely.

Elain checks blushed hard as she looked down, deliberately avoiding your gaze. She didn’t know how to start this conversation, but she knew you were the only one she could trust. She lowered herself onto the edge of the bed, but it was you who talked first.

"It's about Lucien," you guessed.

She froze, not expecting your straightforwardness. Then, slowly, her head moved in a quiet nod, tentative. “You’re the only one I could talk to. Feyre is… I don’t know which part she would take, and Nesta…”

Your brows lifted. There was no need to say more. Nesta’s dislike for Lucien was no secret, she didn’t even try to hide it, she never did. The passing of time didn’t soften her, all the contrary.

You sat beside her, while still giving her the space she needed. After a moment, you talked. “Don’t mind Nesta. She has her own life now, she made her decisions. Now, you make yours. It’s not about her, it’s about you.” You placed an hand on her shoulder, a rare gesture coming from you, but still treasured for Elain. “You shouldn’t follow anyone’s expectation.”

“Not even Lucien’s?” she asked now, her voice trying to be steady, but failing.

“I’m sure Lucien has no expectations of you. Hope, maybe, but no expectations.”

“Yes. He told me as much. Repeatedly.”

“Follow your heart, Elain. Don’t think of what the Inner Circle would want you to decide. Not what Nesta would like to see. Not even what Lucien’s hopes are,” your voice grew steadier by the seconds. “You always wanted to have a choice. You can’t have what you had before, I’m not going to lie, but you can still choose for yourself.”

“I’ve made my choice,” she admitted. Her voice wavered, but there was a soft determination beneath it. “I gave Lucien a chance.”

You stared at her. There weren’t many things that stunned you, but this certainly did. It wasn’t the revelation itself that came as a shock, it was the strong conviction in her voice. That was the Elain you knew. The Elain everybody else didn’t even know existed.

She chuckled softly, taking advantage of the moment. “I thought about it for a long time. And I realised, we both deserve to find out what this could be.”

You took her hand in yours, offering a rare, genuine smile she so often brought upon you. “If this is what you have decided for yourself, it can never be wrong. It’s your life, your mistakes, your choices. No one gets to take them for you, and you’re certainly allowed to make wrong decisions, but you will never know if you just follow everyone else’s standards.“

Her eyes glittered with gratitude, and for the first time in a long while, you saw not the broken pieces of your sister but someone stronger, someone rebuilding. Her true self, strong and determined, finally taking voice.

And as she remembered the very moment she made that decision, you squeezed her hand before letting go.

Earlier that afternoon, Elain sat cross legged on a blanket in the middle of the garden, her hands bloodied by her recent gardening, though she barely noticed. A cup of tie was cooling beside her, untouched, a plate of pastries forgotten, as she stared at the flowers she'd been tending just a moment before. They were thriving, growing beautifully, but this place, beautiful as it was, wasn't the garden she had in the human world she'd left behind. It wasn't hers.

A subtle and familiar tug at the edge of her awareness distracted her. She had ignored it for months, years even. But recently, resisting had become impossible, more than usual. It felt too insisted, too present to deny anymore. Which was strange, since the mating bond hasn't snapped into place for her yet. She almost had hoped it never would. Almost.

She lifted her head just as a flash of auburn caught her eyes.

Lucien. Her… mate.

He was far away, his russet hair catching the light, but her chest tightened as though he was already standing beside her. His presence had been haunting her dreams, creeping into her thoughts, and now even her visions. Vivid glimpses of him, flashes here and there, lingered in her mind more often than she cared to admit.

Sensing her gaze, Lucien's head snapped up and their eyes met. He froze mid motion, finding himself lost in awe by her soft beauty, her petite frame in the middle of the grass, her blue dress all around her like an aura. For him, she was the ultimate vision.

Elain flushed and quickly looked away. The damage, though, was already done. He started to walk closer.

He always did.

It was a matter of seconds before he was standing right before her, his tall frame casting a shadow over the blanket. He spoke carefully, trying to temper his natural boldness. It was as if he expected her withdrawal.

"Everything alright, lady Elain?"

Elain tried to ignore the stuttering of her heart and the tug of the bond caused by the sound of his voice, warm and deep. She avoided his gaze, focusing on her hands instead. "Everything's fine."

Lucien's sharp mechanical eye zeroed in on her hands, still speckled with blood. Without thinking twice, he knelt, taking one of them into his. His touch was light, almost reverent, as he inspected the scratches.

"You're hurt," he murmured.

Elain tried to pull her hand back, but his grip was too firm. "It's nothing," she insisted.

"It's not nothing," he replied, holding her gaze, his golden eye far too serious. It took her aback. "You should never be harmed. Not even by thorns, not by anything.”

For a moment, his words, and the way he said them, stunned her. There was no condescension in his tone, no assumption that she was some little thing that needed protecting at all costs. This wasn't someone dismissing her strength. This was Lucien, holding back instincts she could barely understand. It didn't matter how much it tore him apart, he would still put her needs first and worry about her nonetheless.

And despite herself, Elain found herself half smiling. The smallest curve of her lips, fleeting as it was, made Lucien's heart lurch. He committed it to memory, knowing he might not see it again anytime soon. It was the very first time Elain had smiled at him.

Elain didn't know how to name the butterflies that started flying in her chest as Lucien, with a movement of his hand, erased the scratches from her skin.

"What if I liked it?" she asked suddenly, her question almost a challenge.

Lucien blinked, too distracted by their closeness. "Like... what?"

"The sting of these scratches. What if I like how they feel?" the amusement in her voice surprised even her. "What if that's the reason I love gardening so much?"

Lucien's lips quirked into a smile. "It is?" He appeared really curious about this. As if he wasn’t waiting for anything else than getting a glimpse of her. Even as little as it might be.

Elain hesitated only for a second before giving him a slight nod. She didn't realise it, but with only one sentence she had given him more than years of failed conversations.

Lucien chuckled, the sound warm, his voice softening. "Then I will heal your every scratch so that you can enjoy the sting of the thorns all you like as many times as your heart desires, without worrying about your hands."

Lucien stepped back, not wanting to overstep, giving her the space she always seemed to need. He wouldn't take her arm when she barely offered just the tip of her finger. But Elain felt his absence like a weight pressing on her. The silence between them grew suddenly tense, and she found herself breaking it before she could stop.

“I don’t even know what my heart desires."

Lucien studied her carefully. “That much was clear,” he answered, unable to held back his response. “But you’ve got all the time you need to figure it out."

“Is it that easy to find out?” she met his gaze, the question slipping out of her mouth before she could think better of it. “And what does your heart desire, Lucien?”

His expression tightened for a moment. He closed his eyes briefly, as if to steady himself, then opened them, meeting hers.

Hearing his name in his voice was something majestic. But, how could he answer that question? How could he say those words without seeming an overbearing male, pressing her?

“I suppose it would be to know where you stand," he admitted softly, the weight of the words pressing on his chest.

“Where I stand?” she echoed, her brow furrowing. When the meaning behind his words hit her, she blushed, looking away again. "Oh."

After debating it for a few seconds, Lucien sat down on the edge of the blanket, leaving a careful distance between them. It took everything in him not to take her hand again, but he kept his movement measured. He cleared his throat before speaking again.

“Do you regret asking?”

Elain shook her head. "No. I figured you wanted the truth."

"I do," his was quiet now, a deep note of sincerity. "That's all I ever wanted from you."

For a long moment, Elain said nothing, lost in thoughts. Finally, she looked at him again. Lucien waited for her to force the words out.

“Thank you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "For always granting me the space I need, for being honest and for... for keeping up with my constant refusal.”

Did she really said that out loud?

Lucien's eye softened, though his jaw tightened, as if holding back a thousand things he wanted to say. Instead, he just nodded, his voice as gentle as she'd ever heard it.

“Your life changed overnight. I would never anything on you, let alone myself.”

Elain looked surprised and she stuttered, unable to find the right words. “But I thought… that day…” she trembled, the trauma of that fateful day still too deep ingrained into her mind. “When you said that we were…” she breathed again, shaking her head. “I thought you were stating a claim.”

Lucien’s breath hitched. He didn’t expect that.

All the unease, all the resentment he felt through the bond, was because she had always believed he was… what? Stating that he had a right to her? Laying a claim on her?

“You misunderstood,” he said gently. “It wasn’t anything like that. Not for me. I would never do that. I was just… surprised. That’s all.”

“Surprised?”

Lucien’s hesitated, his hart beating fast. Memories of his past flashed in front of him, painful. He didn’t like to share, to reminiscing how much he had to endure. He didn’t plan to talk about this with his mate, of all people, either. But he knew she deserved the truth.

How would Elain ever trust him if he wasn’t willing to give her something, anything?

Swallowing down the pain he still carried even after centuries, he spoke up. “I had someone too.”

It was all he managed to say. And Elain understood instantly, her mind wandering back to the human lands, to Greysen, his ex fiancé and the same one he turned against her after her transformation. She remembered how she had hoped he would still want her, that their love was stronger than a mating bond, stronger than her new looks. But she had been mistaken.

“It was centuries ago. We always thought we were mates. But the bond never snapped into place.“

Elain stilled. “But it did with me.”

“Yes,” the honesty in his voice was raw. “I barely whispered the words. But you were newly made like us, your senses had sharpened. I didn’t think before talking, but I was too surprised, to stunned, to do anything else.”

Slowly, every pieces found its rightful place in her mind. And in that moment, she realised something. The mating bond wasn’t something she asked. Of that, she was sure.

But it wasn’t something Lucien asked, either.

"Is she...?"

Lucien's voice turned sharp. "Yes. She's gone."

Elain swallowed hard, her heart aching for him. They had both lost.

Perhaps the Cauldron wasn't entirely wrong. Perhaps this bond wasn't just a cruel twist of fate. Perhaps this was the door towards their second chance. With each other.

She handed him the plate of discarded biscuits, an innocent gesture to lighten the moment. “Take one.”

But Lucien's reaction was anything but light. His russet eye darkened. Her offering felt innocent. Too innocent. A surge of rage dwelled inside him, as he barely held back a growl.

Had anyone at all explained her how faes work? How to move in this new life, in this new body? Or they just discarded her, as if she would know everything just because she was a seer?

"Do you even know what offering food means for us, Elain?" he asked, firmer than he realized but still gentle. "Do not ever offer me food like that, especially if you don't know where you stand and if you don’t want anything to do with me or this bond. Just don't."

Elain was stunned by the dark edge in his tone that betrayed the fire beneath. She froze, stunned. Realization dawned on her, and her cheeks burned.

And that’s when her movement stilled, right at the motion of standing up. She looked at him, who was frozen, ready to let her go, resigned, and Something in his look gauged at her insides. She swallowed, as the truth in front of her laid finally bare.

She had misjudged him, blinded by her pain and trauma. She was the seer, yet she hadn't tried to see him, to understand.

"What if I want to try?" she whispered.

Lucien's heart stopped. He stared at her, searching for the truth in her words, fearing he could have misread. There was no reason Elain, the same girl that had ignored him for years, would suggest something like that. But the thing was, despite her refusal, he never stopped hoping. For the first time after he recognized her as his mate, he felt something else than her rejection.

"I’m not saying I'lI accept it," she clarified, her voice resolute, but she wouldn't apologize for her sharp tone. He wanted to know where she stood? Then he would have his answer. “But I’m tired of running from the truth. Instead, I want to understand it. To understand you."

His eye softened, hope blooming in his chest. He tried to restrain himself and he let out a long breath. “You don't own anyone anything, especially not me."

“I know," she replied softly. "But my stubbornness is not doing us any good. I understand now that whatever this is, is something we both have to live with, not just me. And... I won't refuse - or accept - anything, until I don't understand it."

Lucien’s mechanic eye looked through her, as if trying to convince himself that she wasn't under any spell. "If that's something you want, that is your decision alone, then I will give you whatever you want. Time. Patience. Space. Honesty. But, especially, I swear I will not take more than you're willing to give. Not ever."

She smiled sincerely for the first time in years. And it was directed at him.

"I can take honesty and patience," she murmured, an almost amused smile on her face. "But I think I already took space and time well enough for a lifetime."

Lucien shook his head, tentatively approaching her. "Doesn't matter. If you need them, just say the word, and that’s what you will have."

"Thank you."

Lucien hesitated for only a second before reaching out, silently seeking her permission first. Elain didn't move, and so Lucien let his hand linger on her face, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin.

And as he tucked a lock of hair behind her hear, Elain knew she would never forget the look on his face.

It was as though she had handled him the world.

And, perhaps, that's exactly what she did.

Back in the present, Elain grew quiet, her gaze distant as if lost in a labyrinth of memories. You didn't dare interrupt her, letting her have the moment she seemed to need, not pushing, not asking questions. Instead, you turned your attention to your wardrobe, absently sorting through the dresses hanging inside.

Blue and dark. The typical palette of the Nigh Court. You couldn’t help but snort, shaking your head.

Elain stared at her hands for a long moment, as though searching for the right words. “He’s coming with us to the human lands,” her soft voice reached you tentatively but steadily. “It will be our first official... date.”

You turned, a smirk already forming on your lips. “Already calling it a date?” you teased. “Does he want to court you now?”

Elain blinked, cheeks tinting pink/then looked away. “I don’t… I don’t know. But I want to be ready.”

"Ready?" You chuckled knowingly. “You’re serious about this.”

Elain's fingers played with the edge of her sleeve, her expression distant for a moment. “I am,” she admitted, her tone holding an uncharacteristic firmness. Then, as if deciding something, she said softly, “I want to make a good impression.”

You leaned against the wardrobe, arms crossed. “Oh, darling,” you shook your head, grinning. “You already have Lucien wrapped around your little finger. Quite literally, he had been ready to court you since the moment you were made. You don’t need a fancy dress to make any impression. That poor male will lose his mind just by looking at your eyes.”

Elain blush deepened, but she didn't deny it. “I just want him to know I’m serious about this. That I’m not just… playing around.”

Your heart softened. You wanted to tell her that he already believed that, that she didn't need to prove anything. You knew how much he wanted this, a real chance with Elain. Over the years, you'd grown close to Lucien, enough to count him as a friend, maybe the only one in that place.

Elain knew that, and it had never been an issue. You'd never pushed her to share more than she wanted with him. But now, seeing her trying to step out of her shell, and choosing to move forward instead of always look back, differently from you, made you unexpectedly proud. She deserved this. They both did.

“Then you'd better wear your best dress,” you grinned.

Elain sighed, brushing her fingers along the fabric of her skirt. “I don’t like Night Court fashion but… I think it will have to do for now.”

“I've got you covered here, sister," you offered. "I miss my human clothes too.”

Elain turned towards the door, but not before throwing a sly glance your way over her shoulder. “You don’t miss human dresses, y/n, you just miss their colors.”

Scoffing, you wavered her off, even though she wasn’t completely wrong. "Oh, please."

But her amused voice carried on. “You will be back in those shades you’ve always obsessed over soon enough. You could already, if only you weren’t so stubborn.”

You let her go, without responding, her words lingering in the room like a distant echo. She wasn't wrong, though. There was nothing stopping you, if you decided to. You wouldn’t let anyone, not even the Night Court’s Inner Circle, dictate anything for you, let alone your choices. And there were plenty of shops in Velaris selling the vivid, warm and earthy tones that once defined you. Yet, something about wearing them here, in this court, under their scrutinizing gazes, it just felt... wrong.

So you just went along. Stuck to the dark, muted colors of the court, as you let them cloak you like a shadow.

You never belonged anywhere, anyway. Fae or human, it didn't matter. Even now, reunited with your so called family, you would always be out of the world. An outsider everywhere you went.

It was easier to just... remain that way and to play along with it.

And that was fine. You were used to that.

Later, you and Elain met at the top of the stairs. She practically buzzed with excitement, her hands fluttering nervously at her side. You, in contrast, barely managed a shrug. The only thing pulling you along was the promise of leaving Velaris behind, at least for s little while. Even if Rhys and Feyre's presence would still follow.

"Are you nervous?" you asked, glancing at Elain.

She drew in a deep breath. "A little," she admitted.

Together, you descended the stairs, and here they were. Rhysand and Feyre, in their usual black and blue attire, and Lucien, dressed in his ever-effortless finery, stood talking with them.

The moment Elain arrived, though, his attention shifted entirely. His gaze swept over her, taking in the way her light blue dress flowed around her frame, her hair loosely pulled back, as if she had fretted over it but stopped herself from doing too much. She glanced back, her gaze almost hesitant but lingering, testing the waters of her own bravery. When their eyes met, her heart stumbled and his eye softened as though he could see every unspoken thought she couldn't yet voice.

You walked behind Elain, letting them have their moment, and you didn’t need to look at Feyre to feel her gaze studying you, dissecting you. The sigh that followed was soft, but you heard it light and clear. Another silent judgement, but you ignored it, as you always did. You had gotten used to the way the Night Court worked: all control wrapped in silk and smiles. Feyre's mask was perfect, but it didn't fool you.

"Let's try to keep it subtle and to not draw attention to ourselves, shall we?" Feyre said, her arm already tingled with Rhysand’s. It was impossible not to notice the way all of them, Rhysand included, used their hair to mask the pointed ears as much as possible.

You snorted at her words. Subtle. Hide. That was always the answer with them, wasn't it? Blending in, so would somehow make you less of a target. But it didn't matter, because you could blend in all you wanted and you'd still feel the same.

Why going to the human lands at all if you had to hide what you were?

If only they could understand. This wasn't just about hiding pointed years. You had spent your entire life, both of them, feeling like a shadow in someone else's world. And now, even here, you wore a mask all of them believed in, never letting anyone see past it.

It was a mask you had worn so long that you weren't sure how to take off, even if you wanted to.

As the group prepared to winnow, you couldn't help but notice the way Lucien stood closer to Elain, his fingers brushing hers before gently twining them together. The gesture was tentative, as he expected her to pull away. But she didn't. Instead, she glanced up at him with a quiet smile reddened cheeks.

At least your sister was getting there, slowly but surely.

And, for now, that had to be enough.

A.N: I apologise again for the length, I hope the next chapters will be shorter. If you arrived here, thank you so much for reading, and I hope you liked that! Also, my asks are always open, so if you want to ask something about this story or make a request, I answer everyone!

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