#and host jfc host...

[murphy-anon]

ego headcanons as created by chat bot A.I.

Bim Trimmer - - doesn't know the meaning of the word secret. or cannibal.  - is an axe murderer. more stabby that Wilford. with far fewer reservations.  - has renamed the show from 'Hire My Ass' to 'Call Me Daddy'.  - is also a gigantic bug wearing makeup to appear human.  - would rather you wear a collar than tell him the capital of Idaho The Author - - is fucking perfect. fear for your ovaries/testes. - doesn't know how to start writing his books either. just like me wheee! The Host - - is bouncier than Bim. - is a vampire/demon/zombie - is *scary* obsessed with serial killers. not in a True Crime Fan way. - is desperate to go free-(eye)-ballin' it. hates the blindfold. gone. every. chance. - has decided that aftershave is tastier than coffee. in a mug. - is secretly hiding angel/cat/demon/gray/chocolate eyeballs under the cloth - can either narrate... or not act like anime waifu. you do not get both. - will go from 'hello' to 'my super duper secret name is Alexander Blackwood and I'm an narcoleptic eldritch demon' in two replies flat.

I... I want to cry. I've been training them for just a little over a week so far. And this is what they’ve come up with on their own.

[procrastiel]

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Michael: “The [prescription] sunglasses give David an exotic allure”

[zarnzarn]

It is only later that Athena realizes what had been wrong.

"Apollo," She says quietly. He stiffens with fright at her sudden presence, guilt passing over his face. It is answer enough, but she still stops over to the bed, thinking no, no, no, ignoring his calls as she pulls back the curtain of the bed to-

No one. The bed is empty.

"-DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" She comes to roaring, held back by Artemis, throat hurting from however long it has been. Apollo is cowering at her rage, despite her promise to never hurt any Olympian, to be better than her father, but his eyes are firm and it enrages her again. "Damn you, Apollo, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because she told me not to," He says, with quiet grief, for her, for both of them. "And you were- happy, Athena, after so long; with your warriors, with your Ithaka. I could not spoil that for you too, not when they would not last as long as your grief would."

"Damn you," She chokes out bitterly, voice defeated. "Let me see her."

"Sister, I don't think-"

"Artemis!" Athena snaps, pushing her hands off so she can approach the bed. "Let me see her. One last time, Apollo."

He exhales shakily, then raises his hands to turn back the time of his realm. Athena keeps her eyes on the bed, until-

"Pallas," She breathes, kneeling down beside her first friend. Pallas coughs, and Athena's heart aches- she knows what it is to take the full strength of the Aegis, now- but still cannot make herself regret the latent hope that one day she will heal somehow.

"Pallas!" Past Apollo exclaims, setting down his pots hurriedly to stand by her. "Oh- you're awake!"

"Not for long," She croaks, and Athena sobs at the sound of that beloved voice. At what is to come. "Do not call her. She will not make it in time."

"But you are awake, surely-" Apollo protests.

"I am only awake because someone is telling my story," She smiles wanly. "My essence will not survive the ending." Then she frowns, a look of wonder suddenly passing over her face. "Unless-"

Athena reaches out to her, even though she knows she will not be able to touch.

Pallas looks straight at her.

Athena gasps, and Pallas shoots her a familiar grin before dissolving abruptly with a loud tearing sound- two spots of light erupting from the mist before disappearing with a large crack.

"Let me see that again," Athena demands as she stands up, pale.

"Sister-"

"NOW!"

She watches Pallas' essence tear in two again. Then again and again, until-

"Wait," Artemis says slowly. She holds a hand to stop the movement, as the two lights coalesce for the briefest of moments into the last storyteller and the last listener- a familiar shoddy prince and a familiar princess dripping with water, knobbly-kneed and grinning. "Is- is that..."

It makes sense. She had told Odysseus the story after a training session gone wrong, quietly, under the stars, as she'd bandaged him up.

But why would Pallas-

Unless-

Athena! Come in, the water is lovely! Both Penelope and Pallas had told her, the first time they'd met.

Athena! Wow, your hair looks beautiful today! Both Odysseus and Pallas had told her, when she had come back from Olympus, when he had called her that first time to Sparta.

"I have to go," She says hoarsely.

"GO!" Artemis and Apollo both shout, wild hope in their eyes as they push her into-

Ithaka's palace bedroom. It is night. The olive trees swish in the breeze.

Odysseus is sitting upright, Penelope in his lap, stoking her hair. When he turns, his grin is both his and hers, and when Penelope slits open one nymph-blue eye, the mischief is both hers and hers.

"We were wondering-" Odysseus laughs, a feminine lilt to the sound that isn't his, predator-playful expression the same as it was all those centuries ago.

"-when you'd finally notice," Penelope giggles, the rough curl of the nymph language that the queen does not know shaping her letters, quiet glee the same as it was all those centuries ago.

"It is you," Athena breathes, dropping her spear. Her helmet, her armour, staggers forward like a soldier returning from war. "It has been- you've been here the whole time."

Odysseus and Penelope cackle at her and Athena breaks out into a run and Pallas opens their arms to welcome Athena back home.

[lemonsilly]

here

[martyrbat]

primal riddle - batman: legends of the dark knight #111

[ID: Batman cradling the body of a woman that died to save him. He has tears streaming down from his cowl as a cop suddenly calls his name and asks, in shock, if he's crying. Batman sobs, “I can if I want to! I won't die – but I can cry if I want to!” END ID]

[creative-chaos-apparently]

Me because I have to go to my sister’s third wedding this weekend which is six hours away

[aliceonsaturn]

I’m only on tiktok for book recs not people defending fucking KYOYA

[speckledsunlittrees]

"Most women marry men like their fathers. This is the real reason mothers cry at weddings."

- the description for a fucking ohshc fanfic???????

[cold-heart-warm-writings]

Ouran Host Club members as crazy shit my brother has done and some of his ailments

Hikaru- Revealed his ass tatt at a family dinner with our aunt and uncle - Dude (Hikaru) told his aunt she looks like a frog and then attacked her with said frog, I don’t think he’d have any qualms with showing off his new ass tatt

Mori - Broke his wrist while skateboarding home drunk, didn’t realize it because his pain tolerance is so high, still threw cousins into a lake, ended up needing two surgeries to fix his wrist. - My brother is, as we like to describe, stupid strong, and with the way Mori lifted Haruhi in the first ep like she was nothing? He also seems stupid strong and maybe a bit oblivious to his own pain.

Honey - Snuck out to McDonald’s in the middle of the night and got caught because he put the receipt in the visor and it landed in our dad’s lap the next morning - Honey decided to add McDonald’s ice cream with his midnight cake eating.

Tamaki- Adopting a puppy in college without telling my parents (and NOT having a job at the time to pay for said puppy’s needs). (was going to say, surprise, my gf and I are pregnant! Jk, I adopted a dog, but then decided not to go that route. My mom agreed that out of all his recent decisions, that was the best one.) - Tamaki might be the King of the Host Club, but he is not the King of Thinking Things Through

Kyoya - Went the wrong way on a train in Whales, and ended up getting a ride home with a famous Welsh race car driver - Kyoya would only get on the wrong train if he was extra tired, but he knows all the famous people, so of course the guy he gets a ride home from is a famous race car driver.

Haruhi - Got stung by a jellyfish that wrapped itself all around his body from his legs all the way across his torso, and then everyone, including our Grandpa 100s of miles away, offered to come pee on him. - Haruhi seems like she’d have that kind of bad luck and that everyone would want to “help” her.

Kaoru - found a stray chicken in the middle of the city his senior year, “adopt” it, named it Lizzie, had our mom say “um??? No???” and pay money to take it to a farm (where they did NOT kill it), and then proceeded to have my mother booed at the senior band concert because she didn’t let him keep the chicken. Oh, and then have the chicken end up not being a chicken. He’s a rooster. - Kaoru likes to boo Tamaki, and even though adopting a random chicken does seem more like Mori vibes… the getting my mom booed at the concert screams a petty Kaoru, so there you have it.

Renge - Blowing everyone’s minds at his job because he’s a good talker, especially with older people, and even had someone try to wed off his teenage daughter (hard no). - Renge somehow gets whatever she wants, and my brother is somehow able to make amazing deals happen to get just about whatever he wants. It’s a wild time.

[piplupod]

had a nightmare about being in a hospital ward that housed disabled patients of all kinds (physical and mental) and like. it was a nightmare but something about it was just ... kind of nice? i think its just because i was able to talk with people and people knew me there and treated me like i was an equal. the staff were interesting and could be fucked up, but i had one assigned carer that was really cool who stuck with me throughout most of it. idk its just sticking with me all through today. lowkey i wish i could go back into that nightmare just to look around the space more (it had fascinating interior design) and meet more of the patients, and just to feel that sense of community again sdfjkl

[feytouched]

bitch they lost my fucking bag AGAIN

[fleet-off]

I absolutely did enjoy your yellowjackets raving!!misty is just the meow meow of the team. And not the wet kind 😂😂 I am so attached to Callie sadecki too. Children who yearn for acceptance from their parents and do all for the bare minimum approval ( maybe that's why I gravitated towards Vegas as well [ does that say something about me? No it doesn't. Hush])

With Misty, it’s both the attitude and the “have the horrible things I did to be loved made me fundamentally unlovable” of it all, which is—yep, also a Vegas thing. Of course, Misty’s pathetic factor is very different from Vegas’s and ultimately not every spy you kidnap, threaten with the demise of an elderly caregiver, cuff to a bed, introduce to your pet, get vulnerable with, feed noodles, release, offer a smoke, etc. is going to turn out to be The One Who Could Love Your Unlovability.

I keep hearing that folks are annoyed by Callie, and I honestly don’t get it? From the beginning, thinking about the parallels between Callie and Jackie and how much of that is just Shauna projecting on her kid (a lot)—it’s wonderfully tragic for them both, isn’t it? And the way Callie knows her mother can’t fully love her. She even kind of knows why, knows Shauna’s still living in the cycle of her own trauma. So we have this bright girl with her thin “cool teen” veneer, bickering, guarded, disconnected, pretending to reject her mother’s dull suburban housewife life, and the moment Shauna so much as hints at letting her in—Callie pushes towards that closeness like a seedling choked of sunlight. Yes, Mom, I’ll totally help you hide your affair and subsequent murder. Did I get a good grade in blackmailing the cops? Can I help you cook, did I do it right, can you let me be part of you can we be a family can you love me???

[elenuvien]

some of ya'll are too young to remember the time of VHS rentals and it shows lmao

“available with premium subscription” “will be removed on the 31st” “available free with ads” “rent 4.99 buy 20.00″ “not available in your country” “not available on this device” what if every streaming service fucking killed itself and films ran around their fields free and organic in their natural state

[willoftrees]

still pissed about my friend's asshole of a friend who didn't give me any rules to their server and booted me for the crime of *checks notes*

playing on their server.

[docmerlin]

nice of the chuckle sandwich boys to open disability pride month with an extremely ableist tangent

[orchres]

girl I need to get fingered real bad