#just pirate your shit jfc

[elenuvien]

some of ya'll are too young to remember the time of VHS rentals and it shows lmao

“available with premium subscription” “will be removed on the 31st” “available free with ads” “rent 4.99 buy 20.00″ “not available in your country” “not available on this device” what if every streaming service fucking killed itself and films ran around their fields free and organic in their natural state

[dollivication]

To 🦈 and 🌀: <33 thank you both, I'll be sure to treat your brains with care, only the best for them.

To Dollie ❤️: I've had sea shanties stuck in my head for the past week, do you have any pirate AUs in that lovely mind of yours?

ALSO I saw a Wesker mention from 🌀 and I'd have to say, despite not playing re5 (the ps3 controls are so tanky 😞) or re1, I'd gnaw on that man like a dog with a bone

SEA SHANTIES… i love drunken sailor (IT JUST GOES HARD I HAVE NO EXPLANATION LMFAO) and my jolly sailor bold so badly….

cw: violence, obsessive behaviors, mentioned non-con but nothing actually explicit

pirate aus…. fawk… headscratchh…. well i always liked the thought of laik.. childhood friends with leon; ur royalty, he’s a boy from a poor background. you guys were laik 2 peas in a pod! but ur parents (king and queen) strong advised that you stop talking to him! he’s a commoner after all. and you can’t rlly go against ur mom or dad :( so yu switch up and tell leon that you didn’t want him around you anymore, that he’s a peasant and you could never be friends with someone as dirty as him!

leon ofc is fucking HURTING. he doesn’t wanna believe that his bsf just suddenly started hating him?? he was literally so whipped by you, and now you’re just being a dick? that just wasn’t like you… but he did as you told him to and he stopped coming by. as the years passed, your head was filled more with royal concerns and you damn well near forgot about leon!

leon never forgot about you though. while you two spent those years apart, getting older, he became meaner. your words really got to him, because now? there was a threat to your people. a pirate captain and his crew, targeting the already small population of your kingdom. the king and queen were doing their best to ward them off, but what could rlly be done at that point?

your mom and dad, as mentioned before, weren’t all that kind to those with a lower status :/… leon had used this to his advantage and got together with all of those who had been wronged by the royal family. and that number was enough to hold off against literal soldiers like jfc…

of course, leon and his crew arrive and start fucking everything up. burning down houses, robberies, literal manslaughter. you could only watch as your mom and dad panic abt wtf to do. your dad’s men are dropping like flies, because pirates play dirty whilst knights play with honor. it’s a fucking bloody mess (◞‸◟)

it doesn’t take long before the pirates get to the actual castle. king and queen are quickly taken care of, now the only one left is you. but you aren’t hurt yet—held still by other pirates, yes, but you haven’t gotten stabbed like some unlucky people. and then u have the (not so) great pleasure of meeting the captain himself :3

leon’s mocking ur confused expression, jeering at how scared you look. considering you’ve completely fuckin forgot this guy you demand to know who he is—to which leon haaaappily reminds u abt the friendship you two used to have before you just poured it down the drain.

“you didn’t love then me because i was no one, but now, you’ll love me because i’m someone” is basically what he tells u. he was no longer poor, considering all the shit he’s robbed, and now that he actually has a reputation compared to his past self. and now that the people who told you to stay away from him are now gone, he was happily going to make up for lost time with you, whether you liked it or not.

JSJSJFGTHIS IS PROBABLY REALLY UHMM CLICHE, sososoery if u were hoping for something different jsjskdf..</3 i guess a summary would just be yan!childhood friend!pirate!leawn…. and i’d also like 2 add he’d probably non-con u… saur..

[ineffably-human]

Honestly I can't blame Stede for most of what he got up to this batch of episodes. Stede wants to be a pirate, he's never flinched at how people he cares about have looted and killed and he's flat-out admired it at points. He's finally had some confidence and some good luck, he's caused death without lingering PTSD because he recognizes the guy was trash and deserved it, and he even got laid. He's allowed to feel a little cocky for once.

And he's right - Ed is being a coward. He's turning and leaving on a dime, and having a fight over very little, out of fear of having a tough conversation that might break them up in a much more adult and therefore final way. Couples who aren't compatible because they want different things happen every day - but they're also not inevitable, and there's probably a middle where they can meet, if they want it badly enough. That middle is where they both function the best.

(It's completely normal for Ed to be insecure about this, though. They're still building a lot of trust and part of the start of their relationship was loving the idea of each other, ideas they're both growing past. And Ed has already had plenty of worry and drama about moving past embodying Blackbeard.

It's fascinating that Izzy of all people is the one encouraging that feeling, and also that they still haven't talked about everything that happened but Izzy is circling and trying to genuinely advise both him and Stede, like that role is still his center of gravity. The way he just casually admitted to Stede that he told Ed he loved him, jfc I want to swim in your weird little head my dude.)

Where Stede is going wrong in his new shiny legendary status - aside from acting like he's a sudden expert with no chance of losing, of course - is forgetting exactly what won him that fight with Ned Lowe. He didn't fight him. He recognized Ned treated his crew like shit and leveraged compassion to get everyone on his team.

Stede is a leader and an absolute badass because he's willing to deal with people's feelings and make them feel valued even when everyone else thinks that's stupid. Treating Olu's polycule like he owns them isn't going to build that brand, to say the least. I don't think Stede believes toxic masculinity is going to solve his problems or make him worthy of Ed in some way.

But I do think that, surrounded by fair-weather fans who don't even really know him, it's easy to forget what actually matters. And to distract himself to avoid his pain.

[swampstew]

Oh shit I can make requests outside from the event? Oh golly okay uh first HAPPY 200 CONGRATS!! You deserve each and everyone of them and more because I'm sure those 200 people are so happy to your blog name on their notifications like I am

But yeah um 👉🏽👈🏽 am in love with your Kid and I want to see more of him so if you like the SOUND of this feel free to give it a try, you know how Kid's like is music? Usually this lead to uh metal band Kid pirates? Yeah cool I love it BUT Kid with a partner with Auralism(me. It's me I have an auralism kink) but just imagine the possibilities!

(I am so high while writing this so sorry if it was rambly lmao)

Hiii @sluttyseaslug ~ thank you so much, that's so sweet to say<3<3<3 I'm in love with him too<3 also I see what you did there, lmao. I am high writing this so I hope I hit those notes you were listening for, or else Kid says I'm in treble (jfc i'm so sorry) :)

WC: 686. Spicy - M!n0rs DNI YOU WILL BE BLOCKED, A Kid Pirate metal concert, Kid being a little shit, CW: suggestive, auralism.

You never thought you would ever see the sight before you and yet here you were, standing in the crowd of your crewmates as you all watched your Captain, Vice-Captain, and a handful of pirates performing a show on the deck of the Victoria Punk.

You knew that Killer played drums. You knew that Kid liked to listen to music but you never knew he liked to sing too! And damn did he sing.

Belting out lyrics song after song made you feel like time had stopped entirely. An alternate reality where all there was, was him singing. His voice was jaggy, rough, like metal screeching when it was attracted to his body and molded around him on his whims; it made your blood rush, your heart race, and your brain reduce to goo.

They queued up the next song and Kid's bright, golden eyes found yours in the crowd. You offer him an excited smile and thumbs up and he winked at you!

"Oh fuck," you whisper to yourself, suddenly feeling hot and bothered. Your pants now suddenly feeling restrictive and...damp.

Here I lay Still and breathless Just like always Still, I want some more

Time was an illusion, Kid was hardly moving and yet you felt like he was everywhere all at once: on the stage, right in front of you, behind you and surrounding you as if he was singling you out with his performance. Was he? He had a mischievous look in his eyes, that bastard.

You adjusted your clothes and posture, cheeks blushing as you try to play it cool. His voice and the music were absolutely not making you aroused. Not in the middle of all your friends and crewmates. He winked at you again. Suddenly, you're too hot. Spreading from below and engulfing you.

How did he sound husky and angelic at the same time? The way his voice fluidly transitioned from breathy, raspy to sounding almost otherworldly. Was he really a punk rock sex god? A deity of sound sent to...you shake the thought. This isn't about me, you mutter to yourself. Trying to shake the horniness from your system.

Let the whole world look in Who cares who sees what tonight? Roll these misty windows Down to catch my breath and then Go and go and go just Drive me home and back again

The way the music flowed with striking notes and mellow tones, the sudden intrusion of high, sharp chords making your breath hitch, throat dry as a desert. The way he wailed the chorus vocals had you grabbing at your neck, trying to ground yourself. Desperately trying to stay in control of your emotions, your whoremones, and losing miserably. Was your Captain always this hot?

His eyes met yours again, and this time he licked his lips and then his upper teeth as he eyed you up and down. A leer suddenly on his face and your face is burning. Dumbly swiveling your head around to see if anyone else was seeing this or maybe he was eye fucking and teasing someone else? Nope, its just for you, cool cool cool cool cool.

Don't let me Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go Take me to the edge

Each go making your sex pulse and chest heave. He barely whispers the last lyric as he begins headbanging to the heavy guitars and rushed melody, making your adrenaline rush.

He leaps down from the stage as the instrumentals fade out and he struts right up to you, placing a large, hot hand on your shoulder. A shit-eating grin on his face as he takes in your flushed reaction. He knows, that bastard knows.

"You down to fuck?" Not letting your flustered and "civilian-caught-in-his-direct-path" reaction stop him, he throws you over his shoulder and marches to his cabin. Dropping you down on the bed, grin still on his handsome, asshole face.

"Yeah or?"

"Yeah," you pout, arms crossed over your still rapidly beating chest. He laughed at you, stepping back to strip off his clothes. You forgot he wasn't a gracious or kind god.

[papersburning]

highkey pissed with the amount of people hyping up the new pjo shit and like. actively giving money and attention to it as if we have not reminded people for the past 4 months that rick riordan is a zionist and everyone has been like "oh! boycott disney the best you can!! natural boycott don't talk about anything disney don't pay money don't even pirate!!!" and then everyone just. ignores that shit. like it is the easiest thing in the world to just not engage. in fact you aren't even doing anything in the first place. like oh my fucking..... (also are we all going to forget the whole making actual nazis in wwii the sons of hades??? like wasn't that the original reason the whole pack was made??? that the demigods all ended up doing literal genocide??? and wasn't hades described to physically look like h*tler??? are we just gonna ignore this too????? like ya'll i'm not even mentioning some of the other issues with marginalized groups since i'm not a part of them and god knows people more qualified have spoken on them hundreds of times. like jfc rr is just some white guy he is not some holy script writer i hate the way yall idolize your fav celebs....he is a white man.)

[triflesandparsnips]

Anyway, because I am Cringe and I am Free, please enjoy my livetexting of episodes 6 and 7:

Transcribed:

oh hi Bronson whatshishead, I've loved you since Perfect Strangers

NED LOW

how many fuckin versions of "Edward" are there on this show

hm themes of legacy interesting interesting

LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER YOU SAY

"you have a lovely, natural instrument" goddamn okay

hi IZZY AND ED

"scowly-face"

"bit drunk thought you were Roach"

hi Ed back in your leathers

"MOPEY TWAT"

jfc is everyone drinking too much on this ship

"SORRY ABOUT YOUR LEG" "FUCK OFF" omg

"I was tripping over all your stuff and some of it's quite ugly"

a guilt room

a GILT room

Archie and her SNAKE CULT history

"improvement in the flow is undeniable"

Calypsish

CAPTAINS

Ed knowing that it's bullshit

oh HI RICKY

oh hey a purple ribbon

hm

fuckin british

a ceramic nose

lovely design, gonna steal it

WE'RE GONNA NEED A GOAT

A RUM-DRINKING GOAT

hey URCHINS

ED IS GREAT WITH KIDS I knew it

THEY OWN AN INN

wait what's on Ricky's neck thing, is it a pin, what is it

is it a pearl wtf

omg Wee John, drag-- IZZY???

LOOK IN THAT MIRROR IZZY

OMFG

THE TUB

"the moving of the tub-- it's a sacred tradition"

"as long as it's returned without a dent" -- that shit is getting taken apart

Wee John drag is fab

OMFG IZZY

SINGING

the SWEET LOOK ON STEDE'S FACE

OMG

KISS HIS HAND IZZY

OMG DANCE

THROUPLE

Izzy sings the word "LOVE" and the ship gets FUCKIN FIRED ON

Ed protecting Stede

"I only hang out with cool pirates" --Stede's FACE

Stede being so angry because Ned was insulting Ed

"whatever this is, it's just gonna turn me on" OKAY

omg Pete and Lucius

the pre-revenge window

the thing where Low's crew-- "you see her as your employee rather than the person she actually is" oh my GOD THAT'S SO HOT HI STEDE

"She has a name-- a beautiful one"

Everyone being so happy for Pete and Lucius's engagement

omg are they keeping Ned

"Bland Beard"

omg is Stede gonna beat the shit out of him

"WALK"

okay fuck wow

"oh that is kinky"

"Works for spiders. Works for men."

"Don't do it, Stede" -- oh man

[izzy-b-hands]

i feel like Spanish Jackie could easily reach a 'why is it always you fuckers' point with Ed and Stede and Co.

like. imagine this poor woman. She has husbands and a business and various other under the table ventures to manage; she is busy!!!

But these fucking guys. Every goddamn time there's Some Shit now, it's Them.

Ship sank in the harbor? Buttons accidentally bit thru the bottom of the ship while chomping through a crew member while they were raiding said ship (he got overexcited and his jaw strength is Terrifying, it's fine, don't worry abt it)

Nearby business on fire? Someone insulted Ed, and as a result Stede Accidentally knocked over every single candle in the place with his sword and also maybe he poured booze as firestarter too but you gotta understand-(tbh, this one is justified to Jackie. Ed is a good, fine 👀, man and pirate. If ppl won't put respect on his name then those ppl should expect fire to be put on them, more or less)

Murder outside her door? Jim and Izzy, who claim they were haggling with the dead guy in question. Maybe they were, and they're just really bad at haggling (more likely, after the guy saw Ed and Stede, recognised them as Famous, and tried to ramp up the price as a result, Izzy and Jim decided they were done with this shit and if he wouldn't sell them oranges at a fair price while alive, then he can give them away for free while dead. Jackie doesn't hate this one entirely, she just hates sending a husband out to wash the blood off the pathway bc no one wants that chore)

Like even when they aren't near the Republic of Pirates, word still makes its way back to her of shit they're up to or somehow it hits her business in some frustrating way, example A:

Ed sends an apology letter when they accidentally raid a ship that was bearing supplies for her home and business, and offers to bring whatever they haven't sold from before they knew it was her shit. And like, she's grateful, it's a good compromise and apology but also Ed this is the fourth fucking time can your crew pls check the fucking manifest and other paperwork first? Like kill the crew on the ship or whatever, but then you gotta still sail my shit to me the rest of the way, not steal and sell off some of it. Seriously. Fool me once, shame on me. Twice, shame on you. Three or more times, shame on everybody associated at this point bc jfc.)

She wants nothing more than a month without Shenanigans from them but it never works out, there's always Something kadnkfngngn

The Nose Jar was a sign lmaooo

[muzligrafia]

stfu

i love these bland, vague takes that always end up shitting on the casual harry potter enjoyers and call for a boycott/abolishing the entire franchise as if it 1. didn't shape an entire generation 2. as if it didn't employ thousands of people and feeds people to this day 3. as if everyone who dares to enjoy a show that they enjoyed as a child is immediately considered to be an asshole (i've seen y'all being crackheads online, there's no use denying it)

if your entire online take about it is just culminating in "stop rewatching the movies" as the only possibly acceptable choice, then

you quite possibly are expressing yourself to be someone who does not understand nuance

you forget that pirating exists

you deny people their agency of critical thinking

you are a nosy cunt.

let a bitch enjoy some shit, jfc people, the world isn't black and white. and fyi this isn't twitter, you're not limited to 200 characters (or however many it is now) so either be the bitch who shits loudly, or be the girl who poops in silence.

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 8: The Stolen Lion

Training time for the princess! I'm not sure if it's canon or not, but I feel like Lance is the best flyer out of all of them, so it's nice to see that he's the one training Allura up there

Lance talking smack and still getting proved right when Allura can't hit him Why did a smack to blue's forehead send a jolt of electricity to Allura?? She's free-falling right now and that doesn't make sense

Someone else saved Allura this time! He was pretty snarky about it too when the boys finally got to her in that traction beam

Introducing Prince Bokar, I know his story, but it'll be nice to see how it plays out

He's looking for a bride and destiny led him to Allura apparently, but she's not buying it Now she does after he says he'd never hurt her

Lance being sassy again and starting his human lie-detector streak THIS MAN IS TRYING TO GET HIS ADRENALINE ANYWHERE, FLIPPING OFF THE TOP OF RED LION LIKE THAT

"You, up there, come down!" "Alright I'm down, your high and mighty majesty" GET HIM LANCE

Nanny said she wished two young men fought over her, this is probably where the Allurance started I'm an allurance shipper but not for this voltron show so right now I'm only reacting to nanny with heavy judgement

Pidge and Hunk being the only real ones who help Lance, but Keith is just staring down Bokar for being a piece of shit LMAO

Lance making good points about Bokar travelling by himself when a prince wouldn't do that, especially if he was in search for a bride

Apparently Lance knows how a space pirate fights, more angst material for meee

NANNY HAS NO CHILL MY GOD

Pidge learns not to insult the woman that gives him desserts, apparently he likes astrocakes which I like to think are just moonpies with a different name

R E V E N G E

And the reveal that Bokar really is evil His plan is to kidnap Allura and blue for Zarkon, fun Oh and apparently Koba is still watching on Arus and tormenting the mice while he's at it lol

Lance is still on his rampage about Bokar being evil, he's right of course, but man is he volatile

COBRAS IN THE VENT LANCE WAKE THE FUCK UP SINCE WHEN DID LANCE HAVE A KNIFE UNDER HIS MATTRESS

Lance's room number is R110, Keith's is R112, Hunk and Pidge came out of the same room which I assume would be either R111 or R113 I like to think Pidge and Hunk were having a sleep-over holy shit it keeps switching between r110 and r112 for Lance, jfc why does animation do this

MORE COBRAS suddenly the other boys have daggers, I guess they all have em

mmmm they want prince Bokar to pilot blue, obviously it's still early one as the princess agrees that she shouldn't be in blue unless in emergency but still GROSS they haven't tested his combat flight skills, I'm very much a stickler for the rules

This is where lance's sharp shooting skill probably started, he shot at bokars arm but only to hit the cobra under his sleeve which revealed that bokar was indeed the reason why the cobras were in the castle

I don't like that the princess just faints at the sight of a cobra, I know it's a very real fear for people but still that girl has seen nightmares come alive I think she can handle a danger noodle

Alfor ex machina returns again, is alfor part of voltrons spirit?

bokar tries to threaten her to fly blue but she refuses to but keith makes the weird ass call to follow his commands maybe it's to get them out of the water

AND THEN SHE FAINTS AGAIN WHEN SHE SEES HIS ACTUAL COBRA FORM ok this one i kind of understand but goddamn girl get a GRIP

out the open head hatch he goes apparently he can glide with those cobra wings of his

Voltron when we didn't even wake up Allura? I mean I guess she's awake now but maybe make that obvious to the audience guys

Prince bokar is technically listed as a robeast, but it's just his name, he weighs 3960 short tons in his giant form though

suddenly a real lion fades in and roars as voltron is slicing bokar in half? ok i guess

Lance calling Nanny out for being superficial lmao

Allura makes a weird comment about being watched, so she doesn't get taking in by a pretty face and then almost whispers "Unless I want it to happen" girly pop what uh,,, what are you implying here

Episode end! This was a fun one, it's always interesting when the villains stop trying to be obvious and start being smart by sending in spies to get to the team instead

[yamatossideboob]

One Piece 1096 Spoilers!

... Things I liked this week!

GOOD cover page, love seeing Zoro in goofy predicaments again

This entire GV situation is horrific to a degree that feels asinine to describe... but calling the people being hunted "rabbits" genuinely makes my stomach turn

Who are the "children"... are they other Holy Knights, or CDs we'll meet in the future?

Oh hi Kong! you will never be able to wash the blood from your hands!

I love that Garp didn't give a shit until he heard Roger was going to be there. That's so yaoi!

I *entirely* forgot that this is where Kaido got his fruit.

oh Ginny, such a fateful endeavour...

I fucking love Kuma and Ivankov so much more with this flashback...

I'm probably off the mark but that flag of Rocks'... does he have the Mero Mero no Mi?? This feels stupid but that skull *looks* like its flaming... it could be the Yami Yami but then that'd surely be more obvious... idk!

THE

ROCKS

FUCKING

PIRATES

ARE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!

god I got shivers when I beheld this page... the utter hype on display!

so aside from the usual suspects we can see Captain John and Shiki, as well as Gloriosa!! I had no idea she was in this crew but waow!! Bad bitchery all round!!

and two other shadowy figures who get closeup panels... who could they be...?

"Today's the final fight, I assume"... "That's the idea!!" ngl those "Rocks wasn't the villain" speculations are gaining ground...

Like it was be beautifully bleak if, when this concentrated effort to destroy the Celestial Dragons in one fell swoop failed and Rocks was defeated, THIS was what made Big Mom and Kaido into the monsters they'd become. I can't help but wonder how this influenced Whitebeard afterwards too...

as my OP Bestie said, Roger looks so much Shanks minus moustache and captain's hat that it's a little discombobulating lmao

the skull dude and baddie behind Figarland look really cool... we likely won't see them again but I like these little incidental character designs.

BOGART! the years have been kind to him I must say

jfc, Ivankov was THIS close to being a big blue dragon... lucky for him I guess. the fruit he did eventually get is way more his style hehe

how the hell did they escape if fucking SATURN and possibly other Gorosei were there?? not to mention the 3 way wam bam going on down below?? I don't know that we'll ever see all of what happened here (the important stuff anyway) but MAN I hope we do somehow

hell, Gloriosa is still alive last I heard, she can spill the beans! or Stussy! or Shiki even if he's in canon limbo!

man the sky above God Valley is gonna look like Swiss cheese with all of the haki splitting going on below

KUMA HAS BECOME CATHOLIC

This boy saved 500 people with a power he only just obtained... I need to see who's responsible for giving him the name 'Tyrant' bc i am going to redden his arse for besmirching my boy Kuma's name!!!!!!

so, is this church dedicated to the worship of Nika? we've not really seen religion outside of Skypeia... how intriguing...

I think it's safe to say Ginny will eventually be the mother of Bonney hehe... she and kid Kuma are really cute together... I guess next chapter, we see how she dies :'''D yippee....

goddddddddd what a tantalising chapter... as many new questions as answers... and more next week!! I'm going to be devastated and I can't wait!!

Until next week friends! 💪❌

[noritaro]

as someone wjo hasnt seen black adam, what happened?? im too poor to watch it and my wifi is too shit to pirate 😭😭

movie review time ayooo, except i just woke up so it might be a little messy LMAO

lets start off with personal biases that dont really matter cause it's just me so I don't have to dwell on it (but it did help immensely with my ass disliking the movie) I do not like the DCEU, and I also hate the supervillain to antihero pipeline immensely esp when it comes to film

now thats out of the way from my head, the main problem with the film is its pacing

!!spoilers under the read more!!

the pacing... jfc the pacing, it goes by way too fast and leaves no breathing room for the viewer, they have too much content for one film

let's imagine for a second... the book Dracula made it so we get to know Dracula, but somewhere in the middle of it Jonathan killed off Dracula and we're introduced to some random ass vampire we never met before and now theyre the main villain

that is what essentially happened with Black Adam like why tf did they end it off with Sabbac fucking over Kahndaq especially with the worst build up to it ever??? they really should've just ended the movie when they sent Black Adam to prison and made Sabbac a future movie villain instead, they have every reason to just build up to that point

too much new characters also helped with fucking this movie over- the introduction to the existence of the JSA, Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Cyclone, Atom Smasher, Black Adam himself, Sabbac, and 3 kind of important side characters... THATS A LOT TO TAKE IN AND GET TO KNOW

hell you could've removed Cyclone and Atom Smasher from the movie and nothing would change cause they literally did not do shit, which sucks cause i genuinely thought they were charming characters and i would love to see more of them, but can't cause again this movie is trying to do too much shit at once

also questionable decision to make Hawkman work for Amanda Waller and hell the fact Dr. Fate even bothered to work for the fucking government to begin with??? but i digress

they tried to make slower more meaningful scenes and i applaud them for trying but they always kinda fall flat in their face?? theres a lot of interesting points of discussion in this movie like the anti-colonization and the different perspectives that make people see a generally terrible guy like Black Adam as a saviour. But they just keep punching your face with action scene to action scene to another action scene to really breath it in.

this movie really should've just been chopped into 2 seperate films

[uglypastels]

okay getting to the other stuff now that i’ve said my piece about the heart-wrenching cliffhanger you’re going to keep me up at night with lmao

- he was scared of losing her and was just gonna go be sad in his room by himself🥺

- even though he’s a good pirate (can’t believe i’m a pirate apologist now) he’s killed people before but what sits heaviest with him is that he’s hurt her!!! stfu that’s so pure

- as soon as he said to just call him eddie… oh babeyyy i knew shit was abt to go down in a sinful way. but no! poor eddie was blue balled, reader had a terrifying dream, and us (actual) readers were on the edge of our fucking seat

- the crew said they’d miss her!!

- hellfire shot first, right? (i kept getting interrupted trying to read that part so it’s fuzzy to me) WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE RED TAIL SANK I NEED THIS BACKSTORY OH MY GOD

CAN WE TALK ABT THE SMUT JFC. cause you rly fucking delivered on that

- ‘Really? The princess had thought of me, a filthy pirate?’ ‘I’m not a princess.’ You rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Out of all the things to dispute, you argue my words of affection?’

- ^fucking swooning over these lines

- ‘So you can be good for me.’

- ^this one too

- him admitting he lost his control due to jealousy!!! idec if it’s toxic (only cause this isn’t real life) jealous eddie is so hot

- as a tit (wo)man myself, i have to give my thanks for including boob stuff *chefs kiss*

more comments of after the smut cause i apparently have a million fucking thoughts abt this chapter i’m sorry😭

- they comforted each other after their nightmares that is so goddamn sweet im SICK

- ‘I had honesty considered just locking you away and keeping you forever, but I am a man of my word, am I not?’ HE SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT HER THERE FOREVER. TURNED TF AROUND AND NEVER LOOKED BACK

- reader writing the ransom note and changing the whole story to try to spare eddie/hellfire was so smart oh my god u rly had me fooled that they weren’t gonna get in any trouble and be seen as fucking heroes or smth

- the comment abt him not having carpet fr cracked me up

- he read her mind and shut the idea of staying with him down:(( that son of a bitch (still love him tho)

- and he didn’t tie her hands tight so she could start swinging at any moment!! (c o m e o n reader…we’re fucking waiting! punch ur dad in the face!)

- ‘governor, i see we meet again’ again!!! AGAIN?!!?!

amazing fucking chapter. ur updates always make me so excited, and i’m eagerly waiting for more<333

Dont mind me just giddily giggling over all of this 🤭 but its really hard for me to reply bc i am just rereading your comments and kicking my feet with joy. You really know how to butter me up lmao and i wish i could write rn but i'll be at the beach the whole day so i will have to do with daydreams and the notes app- which, btw, do not ever again apologise for sharing your thoughts!! I as a professional attention whore absolutely thrive off of this so please do not stop

Well, ya know the title of the fic, and it is eddie so you know he's a sweetiepie at heart. He's just been through stuff (and yessss we will find out what. All questions will be answered i hope (unless people have questions to things i did not even consider but so far i dont think that has been the case???).

And listen, with [fan]fiction, there is no such thing as red flags 🫤🙄 only black ones with skulls on them 🏴‍☠️ and toxicity is what makes everything that extra bit spicy.

I am a bit sorry for blueballing yall at the beginning, but if i hadnt then we would not have gotten the rest of the chapter as it is now?? And that counts for something suuurely

plus, i tried to hold off on the smut as long as i could bc i really really do not like writing it, as much as i am an avid lover of it, which brings me to my next point of i really appreciate all the comments on the smut bc i honestly dont know what in doing most times and it was probably the main reason why it took so long to write this chapter because i just freeze up at the mention of genitalia lmao. My brain just becomes that cymbal monkey.

Hehe i was really proud of that pirate/princess line. And the carpet one. Just gotta break up the heaviness sometimes ya know. And you just know these two have that kind of "deprication as love language" affair. Is that a even a thing? Well i made it a thing. Especially since its basically canon for this au that eddie has a major degradation kink.

In a perfect world, they would have been welcomed as heroes, but in a perfect world they also would never have kidnapped her so 🫠

And yes Again 😌

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

y'all.... i fucked up. again. 1:46AM and I got work at the fucking office tomorrow yet here I am once again brainstorming a thought that's more a vibe called "cotton candy 80s sunrise". what i need to know is WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SCREENCAPS HIDING AT.

my brain is just geralt uttering a single, perfect, "Fuck" every 10 seconds. fuck. FUCK. just... get it out of my system, get it all tf out i mean holy shit is this how it feels to have everything i ever wanted in a piece of genre fiction????? anyway.

[waters-and-the-wilde]

no okay we can get some mileage out of 'interested parties witnessing the Dark Matters broadcast'

Alessandra Strong. spends two years thinking Juno walked to his death in the desert 'cause he never did manage to reach her in Long Way Home. and then there's this fuck-off Dark Matters press conference airing on every channel everywhere.

and her wife's in the other room having Noped halfway through the speech on account of having Seen Some Shit and deciding it wasn't worth the number it would do on her ptsd, but comes running back in bc all she can hear is alessandra yelling at the monitor JUNO???? JUNO STEEL. JUNO STEEL WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL. HOW. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MANAGE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.

her wife: 'the fuck. is that that lady? oh no this is gonna do a number on your ptsd. your weird presumed-dead sort-of not-ex is a space pirate? omg is he seriously about to do a bit cause the director kinda looks like she thinks he's OH HUH THE SCREEN JUST WENT BLACK. welp. jfc not this fucker again. honey listen to me. you're not helping him. whatever's going on you're not helping him. you literally lost part of your hand last time you did that. you were gone for a week and you straight-up did not come home in one piece. that was an extremely bad time for both of us.'

alessandra: 'I FUCKING KNOW OKAY. doesn't matter. he's gonna die there, he's not gonna do it, those people are his friends. did you see his face he looked like he was gonna be sick. he’s never gonna - shit. they’re gonna take him out.’

her wife (who is maybe uh suuuuuper disillusioned with the solar authority after being stuck as a pow in the outer rim for years bc they couldn't get their shit sorted): 'hey. hey. nah come on they wouldn't have cut the cameras if they thought they had this one under control. good for him tbh? i mean. fuck dark matters, right? that speech was some bullshit. that's off the fucking deep end. shit. i'm invested now. we'll keep an eye out for how they spin this okay? hey maybe he'll turn up again in two years somewhere even weirder.'

alessandra: 'you're not funny'

her wife, who is funny: 'yes i am'

alessandra ‘my wife isn't nice but she's pretty and smart and tough and funny’ strong: 'yeah. yeah you are'

[vashti-lives]

some of my favorite quick beings headcanons 

ian and alice are cousins on ian’s dryad/nature spirit side. alice is fully aware. no she is not going to tell ian.

when dìzhèn built her mansion she built the grand staircase with dragon proportions in mind-- bertie is WILDLY jealous of this. he is mostly of an age where he does not covet other dragon’s hordes-- his is the best and his boy is the best and his life is the best BUT!!!! he will yearn for this staircase in his secret heart until his dying day. if he told arthur about it arthur would arrange something but he won’t. he’s so dumb and precious about it.

arthur and bertie’s youngest child is named katie jr after her aunt kate.

ian and bernard are the ross and pheobe of their friend group which is to say they are not friends and don’t hang out when they’re not all hanging out in a group. (apologies to both of them neither of them is the ross they just don’t have personalities that mesh and also a tiny bit irrational about each other tbh.)

martin calls joe’s mom mrs. andres because while she was getting her nursing degree she was a paraprofessional at his school when he was a kid. 

MISHI/TABITHA FOREVER. MY ULTIMATE CRACKSHIP THAT I TAKE VERY SERIOUSLY.

tabitha was not allowed to watch very much tv as a kid and as a result basically never watched any anime not even the super american accessible stuff. when she first gets a crush on mishi she sees her wearing a revolutionary girl utena tshirt and pirates the whole thing (feeling VERY guilty) and binges it over a weekend in an effort to give her more stuff to talk about. it uh. deeply confuses her and mildly traumatizes her and mishi is just like holy shit this is a bad starter anime jfc. tabitha never gets into anime. but it does get them talking???

i was going to be like oh i have a lot of tabitha headcanons BUT OBVIOUSLY because she is not a real character david just mentions her like once and then i made her up from whole cloth lolololol.

but anyway i have a lot of tabitha feelings for some reason.

she had like 8 million extra circulars as a kid and as a result does not know how to relax on her own terms.

the whole david/flor situation was explosive enough to have long term social effects that trickled down to her, leaving her without a lot of friends in high school a thing which she will never ever tell david.

she goes abroad for a year which is honestly a lot closer to what going to college is like for most kids because it turns out when your brother is a handsome adjunct professor at your school who’s good friends with all the beings on campus and you’re very small and shiny your college experience is different from most people’s.

[bikerjongho]

WIP REVEAL GAME ✒️

tagged by: @itsapapisongo, thanks dude

rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips.

I don't have that many wips with actual writing for them, but I have a handful! Here they are:

photomeister — vampire photographer yunho, set in the same universe as my fic corpsehands. a universe set in the 1920s during prohibition that's extremely supernatural! also an extremely belated birthday present for yunho. Will very likely finish this one!!

the mansion of humanity — a continuation of the library of wonder and inspired by ateez's song answer. basically these dudes that hate music and arts are trapped in a mansion that's full of music and arts. they hate it lol. this one is over a year old idk if I'll ever finish it

sleep requiem — prince seonghwa has severe trouble sleeping because he is haunted and visited by demon-like vampires from a rival kingdom that hate his guts and also his kingdom. this was going to be seonghwa's birthday fic but then I blew through liquid gold so this was tossed aside. I might finish it later because I like the premise but I'm not sure.

library heist — ateez (all eight of them) steal a painting from their university's library as a prank because it's ugly as shit and it's funny. probably will never finish this as well lol.

pirate yunho — my first failed yunho birthday fic. I just couldn't get into it. Yunho was a pirate in search for treasure and was on a race to find this certain treasure before a pirate he hated (San) would get to it first. He also has a sword that, when it kills people by its hand, steals their soul and strengthens the sword. Definitely wants to kill San with that sword.

necromancer yunho — my SECOND failed yunho birthday fic. Yunho is a necromancer and was going to revive the people that a serial killer had been killing to freak him out when he realized that his victims were alive and well and very angry at him.

comic book shop yunho — my THIRD failed yunho birthday fic. yunho lives in the same city as Spiderman and is headed to a comic book shop to chill out with the comic book shop owner (Javi) when Spiderman swoops in outside and is battling a supervillain. Javi and yunho watch in awe together.

grim reaper yunho — my FOURTH failed yunho fic jfc. hopefully the last one. Yunho is a grim reaper that aids souls to the afterlife and on this particular day he aids two very different people to very different afterlives.

tagging (no pressure): @mathgoatwrites @abiaswreck @blossom-hwa