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hexxedghost · 3 days ago

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GhostSoap Sickfic Thread

Another crosspost from bluesky, hopefully this will help me get out of the writing funk I've been in. Please enjoy~

They’d made good time, the travel had been mostly silent, aside from the fog of their breaths clouding the air and the scattering crunch of snow beneath their feet. It’d been a straight forward mission, sniper duo set up. It had been a lot of waiting, but they’d had a clean hit on the target and a cleaner getaway.

Their vehicle slid for a second, the ground beneath the tyres thick with icy mud. The cold was seeping in, to the car, the heavy snowfall had shifted to sleet lashing against the windows with that harsh rasp of quickly melting ice tossed in rainwater. Soap leans forward, squinting out the window, while Ghost tries to keep them on the excuse of a dirt road they’re driving on.

They had a safehouse to take shelter in while they waited for updates from Price on their extraction. It wasn’t far at least, and the heavy rain would cover their tracks well. Still a pain in the bollocks to drive in.

“I see it.” Soap says, pointing through the windscreen. There’s a vague shape, a shadow larger than the surrounding trees. Ghost cuts the wheel in that direction, cruising as the gears grind when he shifts.

“Told you I shoulda driven.” Soap says, grin widening when Ghost glares at him.

“Enough outta you,” he mutters, as the car awkwardly slides and he pulls the handbrake.

He hops out the car, grinning to himself as Soap lets out a quiet shriek as the freezing rain hits him.

“Cold, Johnny?” he asks over his shoulder, not bothering to hide the smugness in his voice.

“Aye, we’re no’ all wearin hoodies are we?” Soap grumbles back. “Fuckin’ prick.”

He can hear the squelch of boots behind him and knows Soap’s following him.

It’s not far, but they still end up drenched by the time Ghost is opening up the door, shoving inside and leaving puddles in the entryway. He moves further inside, quickly checking corners before radioing Price that they’ve arrived. Soap is clattering around somewhere, mumbling to himself as he fiddles with the heating. Price tells them to hang tight for a bit, he’ll keep them updated. Ghost radios back to affirm, taking stock of the hideout. It was well provisioned, enough supplies for at least a few weeks if it came to that.

There’s a loud curse from the other room. Not panicked, frustrated. He finds Soap crouched in front of the heater.

“It’s working, there’s no much heat from it though.” Soap says, looking up at Ghost from his spot on the floor.

“Better than nowt.” Ghost shrugs, nudging open the door to the bedroom. He wants to get out of these wet clothes. His mask is damp as it sits across his skin, every inhale choking as the fabric clings to his nose and mouth. And his hoodie hadn’t fared much better under his tac-gear.

Soap sticks his head around the door. “Do they anything in big bastard size?”

Ghost pelts a shirt at his face, the bastard just cackles. What’s worse, is that Soap’s right. Most of the clothes would fit Soap, but Ghost would be hard pressed to manage any of the shirts without ripping them.

“Fucksake.” he closes the drawer. He doesn’t have a spare mask on him, and he doesn’t really relish the idea of stripping down to his skivvies if they end up having to leave in a few hours. He tugs his mask away from his mouth and nose at least, finally taking a breath that didn’t feel like it left water in his lungs.

He tugs off the tac-vest and the hoodie at least, draping it over the back of a chair in the hopes of it drying out. Soap’s rattled through some cupboards and thrown…something into a pot to heat up.

“Get us a cuppa, will ya?” Ghost calls out, holding his hands out near the heater after pulling his gloves off with his teeth. His circulation was shit, leaving his hands and feet vulnerable to the cold. Soap’s complaining in the kitchen, rambling on, but he presses a hot mug into Ghost’s hands not too long afterwards.

He holds it between his palms, letting the heat leech in and return some feeling to his fingers.

“Ta.” he mumbles into the cup as he takes a sip. The tea’s shit, Soap’s always is, but at least it’s warm. Soap holds out the saucepan of food, the spoon sliding against the metal with the motion. It’s edible, though Ghost couldn’t really say anything more about it, just mechanically chewing and swallowing without bothering to taste it.

His skin still feels clammy. When Soap’s shoulder bumps against him, it nearly burns, heat radiating off the Scot. He always ran hot, but not this hot. Soap’s flicked on the TV, and is chattering away, Ghost lets the words wash over him, keeping his ears honed for a crackle from their radios but settling into a hazy state as he stares blankly at the screen. At some point, his eyelids grow heavy.

Soap looks to his right, words trailing off as he sees Ghost has fallen asleep, elbows resting on his knees. Isn’t the strangest position any of them have slept in, fuck, he’s seen Price sleep standing in the heli before.

But it was odd for Ghost to sleep without sorting watch first. As his arm brushes against Ghost’s he frowns. The skin felt damp, and clammy. The water must have soaked through his gear faster than he’d thought. Soap mulls that thought over as he gets to his feet, and gently moves the big bastard so he’s lying down at least.

It’s always a delicate exercise, attempting to move Ghost in his sleep. Partly the sheer weight of him, but also his tendency to lash out if you jolted him awake. They’d worked enough ops together that Soap’s an old hand at it now, managing to settle Ghost into the couch without incident.

Guess he’s got first watch then. He gathers up the leftovers and dumps them in the fridge that buzzes in the corner of the yellowed kitchen. Most of the house is still dim, they’d not wanted too many lights in case anyone had managed to track them. He sets up by the window, debating opening it before looking at the near horizontal rain outside. Fuck it. He lights up a smoke, snagging an old can for an ashtray and watches in the sleeted gloom for anything that might cause alarm. But there’s nothing. Just this tiny corner of dry amongst the sodden hills.

Ghost stirs a few hours later, sitting up and blinking around blearily.

“Left me to fend for us then, LT. You must have been shattered.” Soap says brightly from his perch by the window. Ghost seems to frown at him before nodding, sluggish. Soap frowns himself. “You weren’t injured, were ye?” he asks, getting a shake of the head and a muttered grumble in response. Still, he seems pretty out of it. Maybe he’d just hit the wall, happened sometimes, adrenaline fading to leave you feeling wrung out like a crumbled paper bag.

“Go sleep some more. Reckon we’re in the clear, still phishing it doon.” Soap gestures to the window, where the rain is falling in angry sheets, slapping against the window. There’s no argument, just the creak of the couch as Ghost heaves himself to his feet. His steps sound unsteady as he stumbles towards the door, bumping into the doorway.

“Yer awake, aren’t ye? No’ sleepwalking?” Soap teases, but there’s a prickle of unease. It’s out of character for Ghost. Even if they were taking shelter in a safehouse, Ghost didn’t really let that steely awareness drop until they’d been back on base for a day or two. There’s no response, just a dull thud of a body hitting a mattress and soft groan.

Soap cuts his eyes back to the window, but keeps his ears sharp, just in case. Something about it doesn’t sit right with him.

After a few more hours, Soap decides to catch a nap on the couch now that it’s free. The rain still hasn’t let up, and he can see deep troughs of water going by the house. The valley below them was probably flooding at this rate. At least they wouldn’t have to worry about hostiles finding them.

He radios Price to update him, jaw cracking with a yawn as he does so. Price tells them to sit tight, as long as they held here, they’d be fine. All else fails, they’d have Nikolai do a flyby to extract them when the skies cleared.

There’s a loud thud somewhere in the house that has adrenaline course through him, eyes sharp and hands immediately grabbing for a weapon. Silently padding down the hallway, he pauses at the bathroom door.

“Ghost?” he calls quietly. There’s another thud, but he can hear the familiar rasp behind the door, though the words are unintelligible. The handle is cool under his palm as he twists it, peeking his head around the door. “Fuck, ye alright?” he slips inside, kneeling beside Ghost where he’s splayed on the ground. Ghost is still mumbling something, but he can’t make any of it out.

“Alright, let’s get ye up, aye?” he gets his arms under Ghost’s and manages to get him sitting up. Ghost still feels damp, even through the undershirt he’s got on. It’s got that odd sort of bodywarm feeling that tells Soap it’s not water but sweat.

He crouches in front of him, and Ghost manages to look at him, eyes still bleary and unfocused.

“S’too hot.” he finally manages to say. Soap nods, tugging at the fabric.

“Let’s get those off ye, aye? Cool down.” he murmurs gently. Ghost scoffs, but it makes a horrible rattling noise.

“Trying to get into my pants, Johnny?” he scoffs, but his voice skips out, throat sounding dry and raspy.

“You wouldn’t know what to do with me in this state, LT.” Soap smiles, but it lacks the usual humour. Ghost seems pretty disorientated, limbs heavy and uncoordinated as he tries to assist in getting the shirt off. As Soap checks him over, it's pretty clear Ghost is sick. His skin feels warm and feverish under the clammy sweat, and his voice is becoming more raspy as he mumbles.

“S’warm.” Ghost says, and without ceremony tugs his mask off, letting his head thump back against the cool tiles.

Soap tries not to stare, pale lashes and freckled skin in his peripheral as he leans over and turns the shower on.

“We’ll get you cooled off.” he says, awkwardly shuffling Ghost around until he’s sat on the tiles in the shower. He keeps the water lukewarm to start, not wanting to shock him with a sudden blast of cold.

There’s a heavy, rattling sigh from Ghost as the water hits him, eyes clenched shut as he curls in on himself. Soap wets a cloth and wipes down some of the sweat still clinging to him, slowly adjusting the water to something more tepid.

“Yer alright, eh?” Soap murmurs, pushing back Ghost’s hair to check his temperature again. It’come down a bit, though Ghost’s eyes are still glassy when they look at him. Soap shuts off the water, grabbing a threadbare towel. The air is still cool, even with the heater on in the living room, and he reckons the chill is what got the poor bastard sick in the first place.

He’s towelling off Ghost’s hair when the bigger man’s forehead thumps against his chest.

“Don’ feel good.” he utters so quietly, Soap nearly misses it. He cards a hand through his hair sympathetically, he was in a bad state the poor sap.

“Let’s get you to bed then, eh Ghost?” he says gently, eyes quickly taking stock of what the bathroom has. There are painkillers, at least, for the fever. There might have been honey in the kitchen cupboards when he was rifling through them.

“Buy us a drink first.” Ghost slurs into his collarbone as he slumps forward. Soap sighs, at this stage Ghost was going to be no help. At least if he was making shitty jokes, he was probably feeling marginally better.

He groans as he manages to wrestle Ghost to his feet, mostly draped over Soap’s back, his feet proving to be unsteady beneath him.

By the time he stumbles to the bedroom, he’s practically carrying Ghost, complaining under his breath while Ghost seems determined to be as useless as possible. The mattress protests with a loud squeak as he tosses Ghost down onto it, catching his breath before returning to the bathroom.

“Take those, and drink that if ye can.” he says, setting the glass and painkillers beside him. It takes a few seconds for the words to register, but at least there are no protests from Ghost.

“What’re you doin’?” Ghost asks, head lolling to the side.

“Helpin ye.” Soap tells him. He’d have to tell Price, in case it got worse. The skin under his palm feels scalding when he checks again, and when Ghost shifts to burrow himself under the blankets, he feels like a bit of a prick when he pries them from tightly clenched fingers.

“S’cold.” Ghost growls, glaring at him.

Soap rolls his eyes with a sigh. “You’ll fuckin cook, Ghost.”

He finds a threadbare sheet that seems light enough as a compromise. Ghost snatches it and curls up under it, sniffing loudly and is asleep again within moments.

Soap snags his comms from the living room, and gets a hold of Price. The rain’s still saturating the area, so they’ll have to bunker down for a while. Though Price does seem concerned when Soap mentions he’s sick.

“Not injured?”

“No, we got away clean. Bad flu or something, think it might be from the rain. We got soaked.” Soap says, going through the cupboards again. There is a lone jar of honey tucked away that he pulls out.

“Alright, take care of him.” Price says, voice crackling.

“As if I wouldn’t.” Soap points out easily, digging out some tea. Given how croaky Ghost had sounded, tea would probably be a good idea when he woke up. Price is quiet for a while, before finally telling him he’d keep Nik on standby, they’d get them once they had a window. Soap frowns to himself, the silence being odd, but shrugs it off. Price was probably just eager to get them back on base.

He checks in on Ghost throughout the rest of the day. For the most part, the man just seems to sleep, dozing and sometimes muttering to himself. Eventually he shakes him awake, food places on the small table beside the bed.

“Ye need to eat something.” he says quietly. Ghost’s eyes are glassy as they stare up at him, blinking slowly.

Soap puts an arm around his shoulders and helps him sit up, passing the bowl of food over once he’s sure Ghost isn’t going to drop it.

“What’re you doin’?” Ghost asks, mumbling around the spoon.

“Takin care of ye, ye dafty.” he slips the back of his hand against Simon’s neck. “Least your temperature’s come down a bit.”

“Why?”

“Painkillers helped, probably. And not letting you cocoon yourself in blankets.” Soap says. The bowls empty, which is a relief, at least Ghost is keeping food down. He sets water and hands painkillers over, nudging Ghost’s hand when he doesn’t take them. Eventually, he looks up and sees Ghost looking at him. His mask is still off, and it’s strange to see him barefaced. The squint to his eyes in familiar but seeing the rest of his face tense with expression is something he can’t help but watch. Though there are heavy bags under his eyes, skin reddened from rubbing at the tacky feeling.

“What?” he asks, he’s been staring too long and distracts himself by pushing Ghost’s hand so he actually takes the next dose of painkillers.

Ghost does, draining most of the water afterwards and coughing to clear his throat.

“Why’re ya taking care of me?” he croaks.

“Cos you need it.” Soap says easily, confusion drawing his brows into a frown. Ghost doesn’t seem to know what to do with that answer, sitting there listlessly until Soap gently tips him onto his side and tells him to go back to sleep.

The next day, he walks into the kitchen and nearly shits himself at seeing the looming figure hunched over the counter.

“Fuckin’ hell Ghost. Nearly made me heart stop.” Soap cries, hand pressing hard against the rapid thump under his ribs. Ghost reaches out with a heavy hand and tries to grab a cup, that slips through his stiff fingers and shatters on the floor.

“Fuck.” it was probably meant to be a shout, but with how swollen Ghost’s throat sounds, it came out a more of a weak rasp.

“Ye could have just said something, ye stupid prick.” he chides, using his heavy boots to kick away most of the shards. He rests a hand on Ghost’s shoulder, but it’s quickly shaken off.

“Gerroff. Can do it myself.” Ghost sounds…well like he’s trying to be angry. It’s coming out closer to grumpy. Still, he’s clearly irritated.

“Shouldn’t have to, though.” Soap says, setting a hip against the counter. He wonders if it’s the weakness that bothers him, or having to rely on other people. Neither are things Ghost tends to allow, out of sheer stubbornness most likely. Soap’s the same when he’s sick, so it’s not like he’ll begrudge him that.

Still, he’s being an idiot.

“Would ye just go and fuckin rest? You’ll make it worse.” he tries, hoping rational thought would win out. It doesn’t.

“Used to takin care of meself. Don’t need your help” Ghost mutters, glaring at the countertop.

“Too bad, you’ve got it anyway.” Soap says, crossing his arms and giving Ghost a look. Soap was the more stubborn of them, quicker to let his temper flare. But when Ghost actually worked up to anger, he was the most infuriating bastard to deal with. Nothing would shift him if he set his mind to something.

“Fucks sake, will ye let me take care of ye, Simon?” he huffs out a breath, frustrated. Ghost ignores him, pushing away from the counter and staggering back towards the bedroom, the door slamming behind him.

Soap throws up his hands. “Fuckin sulk then, ye oversized bairn.” he mutters to himself, staring to clean up the shards that glittered on the floor.

The rain was still pelting down outside. Soap thinks the only reason half the mountain hasn’t slid down with it, is because of the dense forest just above them, old roots tying the earth together tightly.

Ghost had mostly kept to the bedroom, though Soap hadn’t heard movement in a while. As much as it might lead to them snapping at each other, he still knocks and calls out.

“Ye alright?” he waits and, hearing no response, opens the door slightly and peeks around. “Ye dead?” he teases, but doesn’t get a response from that either. There’s a lump of blankets in the middle of the bed, and when he shifts one to peek in, there’s Ghost curled up in a ball.

“Ye still feeling shite?” Soap guesses. Ghost just sniffles miserably in response. Soap rubs his shoulder sympathetically. “Wait here. I’ll get ye something.”

He’s in the kitchen for maybe 10 minutes, using his hip to push the door open. When he looks up, Ghost still hasn’t moved from his huddled position.

“Figured soup would help, for yer throat.” he says casually, placing the bowl down and sitting on the corner of the bed. .

“Hate being sick.” Ghost says to the mattress, voice muffled.

“Aye. Don’t think many people like it.” Soap says, smiling when Ghost glare at him from under his arm. “Reckon you can eat that?”

Ghost doesn’t answer, just sits up and stubborn, grabs the bowl, draining most of it without bothering with the spoon.

“Fuckin goblin. I got ye a spoon and everything.” Soap teases, flicking him in the side when he glares again.

His gaze is drawn to the window, where the rain still pelts down outside. There’d been a few moments of just hazy clouds, but it seems to be going strong.

“Me mam used to make me chicken noodle when I was sick. Cannae eat it anymore now, tastes like snot to me.”

“Charming.” Ghost’s voice echoes back from the bowl.

“Ye don’t have foods like that? Ye eat too much of it when yer sick?” Soap leans back on his elbow, swinging his leg off the edge of the bed.

Ghost shakes his head. “Wouldn't know. Jus’ took care of it meself.”

Oh right. Well now Soap feels like a tit for brining it up. “How ye feeling?”

“Annoyed that you keep asking that,” Ghost shoots back. At least the food seemed to have given him some energy.

“Stop being sick then.” Soap teases, nudging Ghost’s thigh with his elbow, grinning.

“Fuck off,” the words don’t have any heat to them and Soap’s grin just widens, though he lets out a squawk when Ghost shoves him off the bed in retaliation.

“Yer a child, ye know that?” he says, rubbing at where he’d hit his arse on the bed frame on the way down. Ghost gives him the finger from where he’s cocooned himself in blankets again.

“Either way, shove over.” Soap says, motioning with his hands.

Ghost sticks his head out from the blanket, hair tousled and pointing in odd directions. He squints at him. “Wha’?”

“I’m no’ sleeping on the couch again, me backs broke with it.” Soap says, flopping down on the bed. “Ye can keep your naffy blanket, probably more sweat than fabric at this rate.” he kicks his boots off and shifts down the bed. He’d mostly been doing it to annoy Ghost, but he finds himself drifting off after a few minutes.

When he wakes up, Ghost has curled into him, forehead pressed against his neck. His fever has broken, but there’s still a wheezing rattle somewhere in his chest.

He shifts and Ghost grabs him, snuffling in his sleep in a way that should be gross, but instead Soap finds it endearing. Gaz had already teased him for his not so subtle crush on their lieutenant. Soap had questionable taste in men, apparently.

As Ghost hacks up phlegm onto this shirt and instead of feeling sickened, Soap’s heart melts in his chest, he thinks Gaz might have a point. Christ, he was gone on him.

He tries not to think about the trust It’s about the trust, really. It doesn’t come easy, particularly for Ghost. But he knows the trust between them runs deep. The fact that Ghost hadn’t put his mask back on, sure he was sick and overheated, but he was a stubborn enough prick that he would risk cooking his brain just out of spite.

Soap runs a hand through Ghost’s sweatdamp hair. There’s a small pained noise from the other man, burrowing deeper into the hollow of Soap’s throat. He’d probably hit the aches stage of the illness then. Was always the part Soap hated most, besides the sore throat. Not being able to complain about being sick often left him more agitated and snapping at anyone near him.

He presses a small kiss to Ghost’s hair as a particularly painful sounding cough racks through him, mumbling soft murmurs to his temple to try soothe him.

Through the water stained grey of the clouds, he can see the sky becoming lighter.

“Yer still taking care of me.” Ghost slurs into his collarbone, the last coughing fit apparently waking him up.

“Aye.” Soap says simply, his hands still gently carding through Ghost’s hair.

“Not used to it.” he shifts slightly but doesn’t try to move away.

Soap doesn’t know if it's the flu or the early hour that seem to have loosened Ghost’s tongue. He’s not normally this free with his words, preferring instead to hide behind jokes and the occasional brutal jab of honesty that left you reeling from the impact.

“Figured with how stubborn ye are. Had to fight ye for it” he teases letting his eyelids blink heavily. They could probably both do with a bit more sleep.

Ghost tucks himself closer, heaving a phlegm sigh again, before simply saying. “Ye were kissing me. On the ‘ead.”

Soap doesn’t feel tired anymore, his stomach dropping for a moment.

“Sorry, won't do it again.” he apologises, shifting his hand away when Ghost grabs it and puts it back in his hair.

“Liked it, was nice” he croaks.

“Oh.” Soap waits a moment, before resuming what he now realises is basically patting Ghost’s head. “Alright then”

The sun has risen, the slow inching of light through the clouds matching the deeper breaths coming from Ghost as he fallen asleep again. Soap soon follows suit.

It’s later in the day when Soap awakens. Ghost is still a warm, heavy weight draped over him, but when he cranes his neck to look down at him, whisky coloured eyes peer back up at him.

“You wanna shift it, I’ll make us a cuppa?” Soap asks, nudging Ghost’s side with his knee. Ghost doesn’t move at first, but eventually rolls off the side with a grumble, burrowing under blankets again.

Soap hisses as his bare feet touch the floor, the cold having seeped into the wood overnight. The rains starting to let up though, more of light drizzle than the torrential downpour that had become background noise over the last days.

He sets the tea on the bedside table, stepping lightly when he hears Ghost snoring beneath the blankets. Least he was actually getting some sleep.

He dug out the comms unit, and waited for Price to radio back. Apparently the forecast was looking good, if the weather kept clearing up they’d have Nik swing by tomorrow. The valley below had flooded, but they were well above the danger zone at least.

He ducks back into the bedroom after fiddling with the heater again. Ghost is sitting up in bed, the cup held between his palms.

“This from you, then?” he asks, raising the mug in Soap’s direction as he sits on the bed.

“Nah, that could have been anyone.” Soap grins, “Someone could have broken in, the only race of them is that cup of tea.” he stage-whispers, still smiling at the unimpressed look Ghost gives him.

“Know you made it.” he says after taking a sip, “It tastes like shit.”

“Oi!” Soap swipes at him. “Make yer own then, cheeky.”

“Didn’t say I didn't want it,” Ghost says, stubbornly holding onto the mug and hunching over it. Soap laughs, fiddling with the corner of the blanket. Ghost drains the rest of the cup before settling back, quietly observing him for a while before he finally speaks.

“You fancy me.”

It isn’t a question, so Soap doesn’t treat it like one. Instead, he just shrugs, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck.

“Aye.”

“Always seemed like the type to go after what you want, Johnny?” Ghost raises an eyebrow.

And he’s a fucking sight, isn’t he? The mask is still off, the pale light through the window makes it seem as though he’s glowing, pale skin littered with raised scars. He wishes he could capture the way Ghost looks right now, soft and sleepy eyed, the sharp intelligence in honeyed eyes flicking over him.

“Worried about what I’d lose if I did.” Soap eventually manages to get out, throat feeling tight. It feels like his toes are hanging over a precipice, like another step will change everything.

“Not gonna lose anything, Johnny.” Ghost says with a tilt of his head.

“You sure about that?” Soap mumbles nervously.

“Not going anywhere.” is the even reply, no skip in the words, just steady and true.

Fuck it. He trusts Ghost. And if this ends up going tits up, he trusts him enough that they’ll figure it out somehow. They always do.

He clambers over Ghost’s legs, hands digging into his shoulders as he brings their mouths together, teeth clacking at the bad angle. He doesn’t care.

“I’ll get you sick.” Ghost mumbles against his lips. Soap kisses him again anyway.

“You’ll just have to take care of me next time, eh?” he whispers back, dragging Ghost back to press every unsaid word into his skin.

They’re back on base for a few days, when it finally happens.

“Jesus Tav, you right?” Gaz says, glancing over after the sneeze.

“I dinnae wanna be sick.” he complains, eyes feeling hot and tacky.

“You look like shit.” Price says, looking concerned as Soap coughs so hard he sounds like he might dislocate a rib.

“Warned you.” Ghost says, nudging him with a shoulder. Soap glares at him, but the warm mug of tea pressed into his hands feels like an apology.

Later that night, when Soap’s hacking up a lung, eyes streaming and nose running, there’s a gentle hand rubbing at his back.

“Hate being sick.”

“Reckon everyone does.” Ghost chides, as Soap half-heartedly glares at him. There’s a kiss pressed to Soap’s temple, and patient hands helping him back to bed.

“Cannae be fucked with this, Simon.” Soap groans, curling into a ball.

Ghost runs a gentle hand through his mohawk, “S’alright, I’ll take care of you.”

#hexx threads #hexx fics #this took me like 3-4 days #way longer than i wanted but im hoping i can actually finish my next haunt chapter now this is out of my head #ghostsoap

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 2 days ago

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the needle gathering dust

hi! this is my gift for @swiftiefirefighters as part of the @buddietommydaily gift exchange :)! I had fun with this silly idea - and it kind of got away from me. Sorry to drag it on, but there will be a second (hopefully not a third) chapter in a few days lol. Tommy wanted to keep running into his loves instead of moving the plot forward, so here we are lol.

I hope you enjoy!

(title from Blues for Almost Forgotten Music by Roxane Beth Johnson)

“Agent 21! It’s been too long.”

Tommy sighed. Not again.

Sure enough, when he turned around, there stood Agent 115 and Agent 105. Matching suits, matching “hidden” guns, and matching cocky grins. Tommy was waiting for the day Agent 105 came in with scar matching Agent 115’s. Agent 115, who had spoken, had a key in his hand – that must’ve been how they got into the room. Tommy had double checked that the door was locked, but it didn’t matter when your opponents had keys.

“15, 05,” he responded dryly. “It’s been two weeks.”

Agent 115 looked deeply offended.

“He can’t even say the first digit,” he said mournfully. “Our poor ‘1’s.”

Agent 105 nodded, then added: “And two weeks is a long time for us.”

Tommy sighed again. They were almost always on the same missions as him, somehow. Half the time it didn’t even seem like something the A.A.H. would be interested in, given that they mainly focused on information over technology. Yet here they were.

“Listen, I’m just trying to do my job,” Tommy said, not able to stop the exasperation from bleeding into his voice. “All I need is the crystal.”

Agent 115 grimaced and Agent 105 sucked in a breath.

“Unfortunately,” said the former. “That’s what we’re here for, too.”

Agent 105 nodded.

“We could always team up to get it,” continued Agent 115, a hopeful smile on his face.

Tommy blinked.

“There’s one crystal.”

“He’s got a point,” Agent 105 said quietly. Tommy started edging towards the other door as they whispered a few things to each other. They were like an old married couple – half the time, Tommy wondered if they were one. But hey – if it distracted them, it was all the better for him. Just a few more feet. . .

A shot sounded, and a metallic bang. Tommy dropped to the ground automatically, but no other shots came. He looked back at the door, only to see the handle blown off to who knows where. He growled in frustration as he turned his gaze back to the agents.

“Sorry, 21,” Agent 105 said, and he almost sounded regretful. “We can’t let you do that.”

“Seriously?” groused Tommy. These guys couldn’t mind their own business. He rolled to the side and hopped to his feet before tossing a charge at the door, then drew his own gun while waiting for the door. It never paid to be overly trusting with the A.A.H., especially with Agents 115 and 105. They always managed to cause trouble. Within seconds, both of their guns were out as well.

“It seems we’re at an impasse,” Agent 115 joked with a smile. That’s what they thought.

The door blew. A few small pieces of metal went flying, but luckily his aim was true – most of the door was still intact. The other agents stumbled away from the direction of the smoking door, but Tommy jumped towards it, kicking what was left of it in.

“T-” whichever one of them was speaking cut off with a small cough. “Agent 21, wait!”

He considered tossing a teasing reply back at them, but he didn’t have time. He had to get to that crystal before they got their wits about them (and apparently, their lungs – it really wasn’t that much smoke).

Still, a small smirk graced his face.

“Agents, what can I do for you?” Tommy asked dryly.

The two men startled just slightly, before whipping around to face him. Smiles lit up their faces – yugh, they were unbearable.

“Agent!” Agent 105 greeted. “We’re just browsing. How are you this fine afternoon?”

“It’s 9 P.M.”

“And?” asked Agent 115.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “I’d be better if you weren’t trying to steal my score, again.”

“There’s no way we didn’t get our assignment first,” Agent 115 argued. “Tw-” Agent 105 elbowed him in the side.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you that,” the former finished. Tommy fought back a smile. If he had to have nemeses, at least they were kind of idiots (and just a little funny, but you’d never catch him admitting that). It certainly helped make up for the annoyance they caused while trying to do his job.

“Step away from the computers,” he said, serious now. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

That wasn’t entirely true; he did want to punch them sometimes, and– well, oddly enough, that was about it. Nothing else. The thought made something deep inside his brain squirm, which was decidedly not comfortable, so he brushed it aside. He couldn’t be distracted while in the field, even just for a split second. He refocused on the agents in front of him.

And they—they had a look, something between wan and heartbroken. Tommy frowned just slightly.

“We know,” Agent 105 said softly.

What?

But then smiles slid back onto their faces, eyes shuttered, and the moment was gone. That was also decidedly uncomfortable.

“How kind of you,” Agent 115 said cheerily.

“But, we’re just about done here,” Agent 105 completed. “So–”

Tommy drew his gun and shot one of the laptops they had set up. Both A.A.H. Agents jumped and ducked away from the shrapnel.

“Seriously?” complained Agent 115.

“Couldn’t let you get away with everything,” Tommy replied, gun trained on them.

Before anyone else could speak, the other agents’ watches started blinking. They both glanced down (now, now, he could take them out right now), then looked back up at him. There was something in Agent 115��s eyes as Agent 105 started collecting their other equipment.

“Well, looks like our visit’s going to have to be cut short,” 115 said with a fake frown. The smile quickly took over his face again as Agent 105 tapped him on the shoulder, equipment packed up.

Agent 115 nodded to 105, then to Tommy. He grabbed a rope that was laying on the floor, leading to– the window. Of course. The other end was attached to the sill. With a mock salute, he jumped out the window.

“It’s been a pleasure,” Agent 105 said, before following his partner.

Tommy lowered his gun and sighed. That uncomfortable moment was still sitting in his shoulders, tension he hadn’t yet shaken. But he could still get at least some information from this mission. He holstered his gun and started plugging his own devices into the computers, trying to roll out his shoulders as he did.

But somewhere deep in his chest, past the harsh feeling, some part of him couldn’t help but feel comforted.

“I just keep running into them on missions,” complained Tommy. “It’s like we have a rivalry that I don’t know about!”

Lucy laughed. “Do you know how many people would kill for a nemesis, let alone two?”

Tommy rolled his eyes and picked at his salad. It was dumb.

Lucy closed the cupboard and turned back to him as she set her plate on the counter. She started dishing herself lasagna as she spoke.

“And look at you. Here you are, complaining about them. They’ve been your rivals for a while now.”

And they. They had—

“Okay, sure,” Tommy acknowledged. “But it still feels like they’re way more invested in it than I am.”

Lucy shrugged, rolling the foil back over the pan.

“I think A.A.H. agents are just extra like that,” she said as she put the lasagna back in the oven.

“Maybe,” he said noncommittally.

“What does A.A.H. even stand for?” asked Melton, entering the kitchen. There was a coffee cup in his hand and a tired look on his face – which made sense, given that Tommy was pretty sure he’d just gotten off of a 24 hour stakeout.

“It doesn’t stand for anything,” Lucy answered, sounding exasperated. Tommy hid a smile. Melton had definitely asked this before (though again: 24 hour stakeout). “It’s a designation number.”

“Ohh, right,” Melton said. A look of understanding lit up his face, and then something more sheepish. “I’ve asked that like, four times, haven’t I?”

“Six,” Tommy cut in as he stabbed a few pieces of lettuce. He ducked the coffee packet that went soaring at him with a laugh.

“In my defense, I’m always the one on stakeouts,” Melton said with mock-offense. Probably.

“Not our fault the boss hates you,” Lucy joked, taking a seat at the edge of the island.

“Hey, I like stakeouts! At least I’m not diffusing bombs all the time. It’s like they want you to blow up,” shot back the other man.

Tommy just watched as the other two bickered, smiling into his salad.

Tommy swung his gun to 115.

“There’s no need for us to be stupid about this,” the other man said.

“I’m not the one who said ‘Hey, wouldn’t it be a good idea to call the police?!’” Tommy practically shouted.

“Okay, well– ah, yes. But,” 115 stuttered.

Tommy switched his aim back to 105, and he could see both of their guns shift slightly.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” 115 finished exasperatedly.

“But you did do it.”

“You’re on his side?”

Tommy let them argue for a moment as he tried to figure out a way out of this. They couldn’t have more than 5 minutes before the police got here, and they couldn’t stand here in a stalemate forever. It would take at least 2 of those to even get out of the building, let alone find the ID he was looking for. He growled in frustration.

“You triggered the alarm,” he interrupted, gun swinging back to 115. They stopped arguing to retrain their weapons on him and he rolled his eyes.

“Only because he pushed me,” 115 said. Tommy went back to 105, and they followed him.

“To keep you from hitting your head on the fire extinguisher!” 105 shot back. Tommy switched again. They followed.

“How are any of us supposed to do this now?” Tommy said, and turned his gun back on 105. 115 and 105 turned their guns towards each other.

Tommy blinked.

“Wait,” 115 said.

Tommy started laughing, the stress combining with the absurdity of the situation.

“Okay, okay, stop!” 105 shouted. “We’re not getting anywhere like this. Can we all just put our guns away?”

Still laughing, Tommy clipped his gun back into its holster. He paused, surprised. Not only was he laughing, he actually put his gun down. Just because 105 said so. Hm. He didn’t like that.

Tommy cleared his throat and composed his face again. The other two sighed as they holstered their own weapons.

“Now,” 105 continued. “We have–” he moved to check his watch, but 115 interrupted with “Four”.

“--Four minutes before the police get here,” finished 105.

“Not enough time to get the folder,” 115 added.

“So you’re proposing we. . .” Tommy trailed off. Wait. What? He was sent to get the ID of an employee in this building.

“The folder?” he asked.

Both agents turned to him, confused looks on their faces. “Yeah?” 115 said. It took another second for them to both freeze.

“You’re here for something else?” 105 asked. His face was pale, his eyes were wide.

Tommy shouldn’t have said anything. He could’ve let them believe he was here for whatever the folder was and they wouldn’t suspect anything with the ID. But, it did tell him that they had no idea he was looking for something else. Which meant that the A.A.H. was farther off than they had thought.

“It doesn’t matter. We need to get out of here,” he said brusquely. “No one’s getting what they want.”

115 and 105 were still looking at him as he made sure all of his equipment was secure. There was something in their eyes again.

“What?” Tommy asked gruffly.

There was a moment of silence where they were just staring at each other. The alarm had stopped ringing shortly after 115 triggered it, and without their voices there was nothing but the hum of the air conditioning. No one moved.

Distantly, sirens faded in. Tommy shook himself out of the staring contest, and Agent 105 spoke.

“Nothing,” he said, just softer than a normal speaking volume.

Tommy didn’t have time to figure that out. He turned, offering an annoyed half wave to the other agents, and started running back the way he came. Luckily, they’d gotten in different ways. Their paths collided in that room, but otherwise, they didn’t cross. He could just get out of here. And, luckily, two more lefts and he was.

He skidded around the second to last corner, ready to– camera. It took a few more steps to come to a stop, but by the time he had, his gun was out. Crack. Luckily, his silencer was on, so it was more of a slap than a full volume gun shot. The camera flopped, attached to its body by a straining handful of wires. Tommy didn’t even bother putting his gun away before he started running again. It took him a few tries while running and not looking at it, but he managed to get it clipped back into place as he made the last turn.

Right before his hand was on the fire escape door, another alarm started blaring. It sounded different from the one 115 had triggered (which still had blinking red lights going off along the top of the wall every few yards). Uh oh. Tommy swore he could hear footsteps and yelling, but he was so far from the main entrance it probably wasn’t possible. Ignoring it, he pushed open the fire escape (he’d cut the alarm wires on his way in) and burst out into the sunlight.

Lucy kicked the burnt. . . something lightly. Tommy thought it looked like a computer, but he honestly wasn’t sure.

The place was crawling with B.A.G. agents. Floodlights were being set up, items were being bagged, burnt and crushed items were being studied. It was a flurry of activity, but Tommy could still see what happened here.

“This was definitely them,” he said. Lucy looked up from the wreckage in front of her.

“Who?” she asked with a small frown.

“Agent 115 and 105,” Tommy answered, crossing his arms. He nodded towards the pile of burnt items. “I’ve seen them do that.”

Lucy blinked at him. What?

Eventually, she said: “Okay, Mr. Nemesis. I don’t even know how they would’ve done this, though.”

“They have an explosive that reacts to the coolant inside computers,” Tommy supplied immediately.

How did he know that?

Lucy stared at him again.

“How do you know that?” she asked incredulously.

The question of the hour. Had they mentioned it? Had he seen plans for it, even on a mission they weren’t on? He– Tommy had no idea.

He swallowed. “I heard them mention it.”

Lucy snorted as she looked back down at the (presumably electronic) remains.

“Your nemeses have big mouths,” she said.

Yeah, sure. He was pretty sure he was the one with the big mouth.

“They were gloating,” Tommy answered numbly.

“I guess. Still kind of dumb,” the other agent said. She shrugged. “But, it doesn’t matter. It’ll all get tested and we’ll figure it out. We’re B.A.G.”

Maybe it would be better if they didn’t. Then it wouldn’t prove Tommy right.

Tommy nodded, but couldn’t get his vocal cords to work.

Lucy walked away towards a group of lab techs, and Tommy just stared after her.

“Can you pass me the blue?”

Tommy smiled. He always used blue, in any craft.

“Here,” he said, just a hint of teasing in his voice. There was a small laugh from behind him, and Evan rolled his eyes.

“You two need to stop ganging up on me,” he said with mock annoyance.

Tommy has to physically restrain himself from making an innuendo as he turns back to his own work. Evan does take the blue, though.

“Never will,” Eddie responds. “You’re stuck with us.”

“Yep,” Tommy confirms, glancing back at Evan. The love in the other man’s eyes nearly takes his breath away. Even through the joking, and even after this long, it still leaves him speechless.

“Good,” Evan says after a moment, a smile on his face.

Tommy woke up to darkness and a beating heart.

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, like the time he fell out of a second story window. There was a memory, of stark clarity and yet impossible to describe. A dream. Of a—a house, or a kitchen, or maybe just a weird realm of light. And something in his hands. A mix between a paintbrush and a pen, and maybe sandpaper. There was a person to his left, that he couldn’t see, and a person to his right, that was—Lucy, maybe. Or Derrick from accounting, or an A.A.H. agent he met once, or a mix of all three. And his chest was on fire but his hands were freezing. It didn’t make any sense.

But now his chest was tight. His shoulders too. There was sweat on his back, and his legs, and it was too warm and that must’ve been a nightmare, because he now felt terrified. There was a pinprick ache in his temples, like he was grinding his teeth.

And nothing made sense.

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flipomatic · 1 month ago

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#arcane #arcane spoilers #spoilers #caitvi #violyn #caitlyn kiramman #vi #vi arcane #arcane s2 #arcane season 2 #together in the end #at long last #as they should be #and hopefully will be from this point forward

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 months ago

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s5 episode 1 thoughts

bouncing. bouncing up and down. off of the walls. this episode was SO good. thank you. everyone say thank you, chris carter. thank you for fainting scully, tomato lover scully, doctor scully, crying mulder, plotting mulder, breaking and entering mulder, and for skinner in general.

but back to who i was before yesterday... allow us to return to past juni.

it’s been 800 years… (and by that i mean a week and 2 days have passed since i last watched an episode)

we left off in a pretty… precarious position. so i’m interested to see where things go from here. and hopefully they will be less stressful.

but i’m so happy to be back! i swear once i finish this show i’ll have to quit my job. there will be nothing to get me through LMAO.

it sounds like mulder is going to do some breaking and entering… again, fork spotted in kitchen

how the HELL did he fake his own death… this is giving sherlock!!

god, hearing her voice trembling again as she talks about identifying his body… i did not need to relive this pain!!

so we go back to him crying and watching alien stuff on his couch the night before her big meeting

“an act of faith began with an ineloquent certainty that my journey promised the chance not just of understanding, but of recovery” <- oh… so he admits to the whole thing being about healing…

and he says that he hoped finding the truth would reunite him with his sister, which i KNOW he was thinking all along, but hearing him SAY IT is still devastating; the way he never actually said it aloud before was very impactful, and so is his decision to break that vow of silence

“a belief which i now know to be false and uninformed in the extreme” <- NOOO please do not give up my king… i do not entirely believe this kritshcgau fool

he’s sobbing. he's so pretty when he sobs even if it is sad.

“my folly revealed by facts which illuminate both my arrogance and self-deception” <- oh no… i wanted him to Realize he was being Like That... but not in this way…

so he picks up the gun, saying it would be easier to end this journey if the pain had just been his own… and oh my god......

but then the phone rings… and it’s kritshcgau? he’s trying to explain that he might have been followed after leaving his apartment, but mulder does not give a FUCK LMAO

he wants to know who this man is and if they really gave scully cancer because of him. understandable.

he’s looking around for bugs in his room as he is warned of what’s going on…. and he finds one on the ceiling!! and not the insect kind, the camera kind!!!

mulder finds someone upstairs watching him on camera and burning stuff, but then this mystery guy picks up his shotgun and shoots mulder??? maybe?? it’s hard to tell??? strategic cutoff??

(i assume it’s shotgun guy from before, but frankly i don’t remember what his face looked like, so. listen! a lot can happen in a week and two days)

ah, it feels so nice to be watching the intro again. nature is healing… and by nature i mean me.

scully gets home at midnight, checking her voicemail… she starts to get undressed for bed

“keep going, FBI woman” <- WHAT THE FUCK.

IT’S MULDER??? she’s soooo GAGGED LMAOOO THE LOOK ON HER FACE???? i’m howling

MULDER BABY YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT WHEN YOU BREAK INTO SOMEONE'S HOUSE. BAD BOY (sprays with water) (sprays with water) (sprays with-

“mulder? what are you doing? why are you sitting in my bedroom in the dark?” <- a VERY reasonable question!!!!

he says there’s a dead guy in his apartment. she’s had ENOUGH of his shenanigans, and he clarifies that he is NOT joking

he had been under surveillance for at least 2 months!!!!! that is freaky omggg… god only knows what they saw him doing

he says that he can’t talk to anyone at the bureau because this whole hoax leads back to the FBI!!!

HOLD ON PAUSE. WHY THE FUCK DOES SCULLY HAVE A POSTER OF DIFFERENT TOMATOES ON HER APARTMENT WALL. HOLD ON I’M FUCKING CRYING. STOP. THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. oh my gooood.

she saw a poster of tomatoes and said you know what? this would look FANTASTIC in my apartment.

god, scully, you truly are the best character of all time. i had no idea you felt so strongly about the humble tomato.

i cannot complain about anything else that happens in this episode, i’m out of breath from laughing. oh my god. this is gonna get me through so much. tomorrow i’m gonna go to work and a customer is gonna yell at me and i’m just gonna smile thinking about scully’s tomato poster.

i don’t even really remember what was happening.

okay, right, so the guy whose apartment was above mulder’s, he was destroying records of himself calling the FBI. so who in the FBI was he calling?? and must it be the one who is behind all of this??

“i will not allow this treason to prosper- not if they’ve done this to you” he says <- OKAYYYY!!! protective man is in his protective mode 🔥 you truly do LOVE to see it. it’s almost as good as scully in doctor more but let’s be honest, nothing can ever beat that.

ohhh, he says they can lie back to them!!!! sneaky sneaky man... your fox-like nature is showing

so it was HIS IDEA to have her come and make the ID on his "body" even though it was false!!??

so she was ACTING in that meeting??? WAS SCULLY A THEATRE KID?? because she sold that for real!!!!

he’s going on about how he’s asking her to lie so they can find out who this enemy from within is….

scully runs into skinner after identifying the body, who asks if it’s true that mulder is really dead, and she lies, saying yes. he wants to know if she’s okay, and she pulls the “i don’t know what to say” card, which is entirely understandable.

he asks how she made the ID if he died from a shot to the head, so she says she saw him earlier that morning and he was wearing the same clothes. and there’s a look skinner has into the distance as he tries to determine how and why they would have seen each other before 6:30 am. like you could see the gears turning in his head as if he was saying omg, so they WERE together this whole time. it’s comical, in a way.

which also leads me to wonder, well i’m no expert in these things, but if you know someone long enough, wouldn’t you recognize them even sans face? by body alone?

he says he’s very sorry. and when she tries to leave he very sternly calls out “agent scully >:| section chief blah blah blah thinks you’re hiding stuff” (paraphrased obviously)

skinner looks SOOO suspicious of whatever she's plotting lmaooo. and he is right to be!

meanwhile, a very alive mulder is going to the department of defense to scout some advanced research using the dead guy’s ID!! ooooo high stakes, high stakes!!!! he's narrating that if they’re busted, they’re done for good!!

now scully is in the office with the section chief. and he’s talking about someone from the DOD giving her classified information.

they ask her for information and she’s clearly hiding stuff…. but she identifies kritshcgau!!! omg i didn't think she was going to!!

uh oh… kritshcgau sees mulder in the DOD!! “hey! how’d you get in here?” “through the front door” <- lmao he can never be serious!!

kritshcgau tells mulder to come with him… is this a trap???

he’s gagged because that card gives mulder LEVEL FOUR CLEARANCE which i take is a BIG DEAL

yes, it is, because it would give him access to EVERYTHING!! even the thing he wants most of all… the cure for scully’s cancer!! you can see the tears forming in his eyes at the thought… oh man. ohhh mulder…

cancer man has burst into mulder’s apartment… now what are you doing here, you freak???

OHHHH he finds a photo of mulder and samantha on his desk when they were kids... ohhhh... my heart 😭😭😭😭😭

(there’s also some art on the wall of mulder's apartment that i can’t make the details out on. one piece seems to be some sort of pastoral scene with a sheep in it? and the other seems to be abstract. does anyone know what they are? i mean, it’s no tomato poster. but still)

CSM is actually crying seeing this photo and the blood he presumes to be mulder's on the carpet, and i don’t know if he feels genuine sadness or is just heartbroken his decades long alien colonization plan has been thwarted. honestly i do think he’s sad about mulder. he seemed to be in love with both mr. and mrs. mulder tbh, and that can do things to a guy.

he finds the secret ceiling camera...

scully is in mulder’s office now, calling someone. she pulls out the phone number shotgun guy had been calling!! holly answers it and says she is so sorry to hear about what happened to mulder…. but scully has no time to talk about these things

who is this holly? how does she know scully? are they friends? i need the backstory.

scully… you are so beautiful…. holding this paper and calling holly on the phone, telling her when the calls were placed so she can track down who shotgun man called a million times…..

OH GOD!!! IT’S SKINNER’S EXTENSION!!!

scully looks devastated by this… but just as she begins to process it all, the scientist calls her back about the ice!! she has so much on her mind, please do not make her come look at some damn ice 😭

now, i do not believe that skinner is really behind all this. if he is involved at all, it is because he made that deal with CSM to try and save her... and maybe he was tricked, but he did NOT do it willingly!

kritshcgau and mulder are talking about level four, which apparently a place and not just a classification, and is home to medical facilities!! and vast quantities of DNA storage!! from every person who has ever given blood or tissue since ww2!!!

damn that’s crazy. how tf would you even store all that?? it’s gotta be a warehouse.

he’s saying this is the hoax into which mulder was drawn…. the US fanned the flames of UFO stories to draw attention away from the whole “mutually assured destruction” thing, which, well, not sure how well that worked out

OPPENHEIMER MENTIONED‼️him and that damn hat…

(actually still haven’t seen that movie btw. sorry i guess. idk. i’m busy)

KHRUSHCHEV APPEARS ‼️i love to see a familiar face from my textbooks in my TV programs. it's like a crossover event.

kritshcgau says the business of america isn’t business at all, it’s war. well yeah. that is true. and the cold war was an excuse to keep spending military money with no war. which i guess that sort of maybe tracks??

writing off korea and vietnam as just countries squaring off “a few times” is kinda crazy, but his point is: no one used the big bomb.

mulder asks what we are all thinking: what does this have to do with UFOs?

well, let kritshcgau tell you, son. after roswell, the more the government denied about UFOs, the more the public believed them, which was great timing for a country developing supersonic flight

oooo, he claims they almost got caught in korea, as they were accused of using germ warfare. but it’s nothing like what they have now, like what was used for the gulf war, developed in this very building! (said with a very dramatic flourish)

this is a lot of world building at a breakneck pace, and i don’t even know if i’m supposed to believe any of it. maybe some secret top percentage of the government thinks this is true, and the tiny syndicate knows it actually isn’t. that’s my best guess.

the abductions actually did happen, he clarifies, but not by aliens. hmm. a top secret project. well without aliens what's the point?

kritshcgau says it’s about DNA control. but for what purpose???

mulder asks, why make a whole fake alien body for all this then? and kritshcgau says because scully wouldn’t have been alive to disprove the alien body if their timing had been correct!!! so he would have believed it, then they could discredit him!

kritshcgau also says his son coming back sick from the gulf war is his retribution for going along with all of this, and he's thinking there’s a cure for him somewhere in there. well i think the whole gulf war disease and advanced cancer are very different. but maybe they both have secret cures?

off mulder goes, into level 4, taking one last look at kritshcgau, who is immediately apprehended by the DOD for questioning!!!! i feel that this will be the last we see of him.

cutscene to someone racing a horse?? is it bestie well groomed man?? and his many horses??

no!! it’s the department chair guy meeting with CSM!!! CSM is pissed that he didn’t know someone was watching mulder, but the chairman denies it.

he is even MORE pissed about being cut out of this project; “i CREATED mulder” <- okay so that is not putting out the “CSM is actually his father” allegations

chair guy says that mulder is dead

OHHH BUT CSM SAYS “i’ve never underestimated mulder. i still don’t” <- DAMN!!! that’s absolutely wild… i guess it’s important to know your opponent, and how willing they would be to fake their death, and if they could pull it off or not

(CSM angrily leaves)

back to scully at the ice core guy’s lab. and again, oh my god, she’s beautiful. no no no i don’t want to hear about fetal bovine serum. what the hell does that even mean. go back to her beautiful face.

he put the junk from the ice core in the serum... the cells were dividing… into somatic development?? the beginning of a life form. she looks shocked by this, but again. idk what that means!

bleugh, the ice core sample creature... it looks ugly…….

mulder’s snooping about the level 4 area, but the DOD people are behind him, and none of the doors have opened!!! he says that if they find the cure, it will mean for sure that he has believed in a lie from the start. well, i don’t think that’s true necessarily. i mean, the abduction thing could be from an alien-government collaboration, or aliens could still be out there, just not involved with this one thing, you know?

he picks a lock (okay!! crazy skyrim reference) and finds himself in a very dark room. and i am attracted to him. don't worry about it. anyway, whatever he sees seems to shock him???

cut to a TON of CGI aliens on cots LMAO WHAT???? just laying out n about 😭 it had to smell so bad in there… i imagine aliens smell very bad

now this alien closest to him has been lovingly crafted with practical effects, which is much better. so we can see his slime. that is not the part that is better, the slime visibility; its just that practical effects look more visually convincing in such a case

scully is narrating that she had no way to reach him and talk about their discovery of an unidentified life form. which is what happens when you fake your death and go in the secret medical facility of doom.

why is he TOUCHING the nasty alien body???? EUGH!!!!!!

scully is pondering if this thing she found in the serum could be the proof of an alien or the proof of a hoax… a lot of big questions for her to handle here

he sees some flashing lights deep in the secret corridor, and follows it…. a whole lot of strobe light action going on in here. that stuff doesn't even bother me and i was like damn, that was a lot. i imagine it was much worse for the people who already have issues with bright lights.

she says that maybe this thing in the ice core sample is biologically connected to her cancer??

how does this connect to all of those half-alien, half-human people they found back in arizona??!!

beautiful man is looking through the window…

OH MY GOD HE SEES A BUNCH OF WOMEN BEING SCANNED????? WITH BRIGHT FLASHING LIGHTS?? oh man.... WHAT IS GOING ON???? what are they DOING??

what did they call it before?? inducing mega ovulation?? yikes.

BLEUGH. i paused here as scully was getting blood drawn. i am woozy. how do they fake that for filming??

she needs a southern blot, btw. if that means anything to you. to compare that culture to her own DNA.

belaughhh. she needs the match before 7. he says we can’t do that.

“it’s got to happen. everything in my life depends on it” <- YOU TELL HIM!!!

he has no idea wtf that means but is taken aback by her seriousness

NOW WHY IS SKINNER WATCHING THIS????

OHHH SHE GOES OUT AND CONFRONTS HIM!! “is this more dirty work you’re doing for the DOD??” <- OHHHHH she is NOT HOLDING BACK

he says he has the tests from the body they found in mulder’s apartment on his desk; he knows it isn't him!!! and as she compounds the lies, she compounds the consequences!!!!

OHHHHH THAT WHOLE SCENE WAS SOOOOO JUICY I’M GONNA TEAR OUT MY HAAAAAIR

“all lies lead to the truth, isn’t that right?”

“and what about your lie, agent scully? what does it lead to?”

“the truth- about the men behind what happened to me, about my abduction and the tests, about being exposed to something against my will, about being put on a table and having something implanted in me and then having my memory stolen, only to have it returned along with a disease that i was given.” (ohh she was getting more and more furious as she said this and it was SO good)

“is that your justification? if that what you’re going to tell the joint panel tonight?”

“are you afraid of that?” <- OHHH her mocking and accusatory tone… i need it bottled

“well, considering the dead man in mulder’s apartment was murdered in cold blood and you willfully misidentified him, yes, i am afraid. but i’m only afraid for you” (<- and i do believe him, that he is scared to watch her proceed in this way, almost recklessly, even though it's calculated)

“you’re going to use that against me, aren’t you? you’re going to use me as i’ve been used all along- to preserve the lies”

“where is agent mulder?”

(she walks away)

WOOO baby, that scene was ACTING!! the tight closeups on their face was crazy, and it def could have backfired had they not been so freaking talented. every microexpression spoke a thousand words. i feel energized just watching it!!

jumping up and down. jumping up and down. we are sooooo back.

ohhh she goes into the lab herself to do the testing… in her lab coat… and her goggles… spinning the blood around… i’m faint…

meanwhile, mulder's walking through some weird pipes??

AUGH, there’s something IN HER BLOOD WATER, and she says it could be a connection between the conspirators and the cancer in her blood…. well to me it looks like a worm

he finds a new secret door and enters with a hand in his pocket, looking around... tension!!!

she’s ready to blow open this whole conspiracy!! ooooo you'd better stand back and watch it happen!

(they’re narrating all of this because this is a tv show and that is how an audiovisual media works, but i find it funny to imagine them speaking into a voice recorder as they describe their highly illegal activities)

he reaches the end of the mystery space and finds a ton of filing cabinets??? so he’s going to the scully file. he finds hers!!! it is a paper with a bunch of letters on it. which clears up nothing

and he pulls one out for kritschgau’s son as well!!! but it looks like his is blank???

someone from the DOD calls CSM to say that “scott” (mulder with the dead guy's ID card) made his way into the pentagon!! so he’s off to go find him. stay away from him, freak...

scully is rolling some sort of paper after soaking the mixture of stuff from her blood. you’re confused, i’m confused, i’m fascinated as to how this was explained for filming purposes, but here we are

“if my work with agent mulder has tested the foundation of my beliefs, science has been and continues to be my guiding light” <3

“now i’m again relying on its familiar and systematic methods to arrive at a truth- a fact that might explain the fate that has befallen me”

i love that she sees science as familiar and systematic; she really seems to be someone that values those aspects of stability, of knowing what can and cannot be true, and as the world grows more and more complex as they unravel the conspiracies, she turns to what she knows she can rely on. it reminds me in a way about how she values the comfort of a home, of the known, of what can be experienced and understood. she seems to thrive on that sort of knowledge, and i relate to it. something steady to keep her afloat, you know? it also speaks to her rigidity in following the rules. there is order and structure that maintains things, and that can be a great comfort, or a terrible hindrance if it is used for evil. but she, deep down, believes that there still is fundamental good. the rules, the science, the facts, the comfort of them all. it’s a terribly scary world; her biggest fear is what others are capable of. of course there is comfort in the known and the material. i like that a lot.

she hopes to match the virus from the mystery organism to the stuff in her cells, which would mean that her cancer has a cause, even if a cure is unknown! and maybe then they could find a cure to the virus thingy...? is this wishful thinking??

“if science serves me to these ends, it is not lost on me that the tool which i’ve come to depend on absolutely cannot save or protect me, but only bring into focus the darkness that lies ahead” <- hey. hey ouch. pain.

i refuse to consider such a possibility. there are too many more seasons ahead.

back to mulder in the labyrinth, looking for stuff that matches the numbers on her card. ough… why does his hair look so good…

anyway, he finds some sort of liquid

OH scully has done it!!! she’s mixed her DNA with the viral DNA from the cell!! oh, the ice core doctor guy is SHOCKED to learn that she has stuff in her that was also in the CANADIAN ALIEN MOUNTAINS!!

she explains that she believes she was exposed to this material that gave her an illness… and when he asks what kind, all she says is that it cannot be cured. damn. that was very dark.

so mulder finds this little vial of stuff with the specific numbers on it?? in a tiny tiny little bottle?

is it shots shots shots shots time??

he’s leaving from the pentagon, and in a voice over monologue, points out that he is as dependent upon her as she is upon him for the cure!!! as now she must convince the committee of her story!!!

she goes into the meeting room, bracing herself…. and she begins where we began in the last episode!!!! and now we know WHY she is reporting on the illegitimacy of his work!! ah, it is sweet relief to know there was no backstabbing between them

mulder is trying to sneak out… but his card swipe isn’t working…. and the military guys enter!!!

can he play it cool?? can he beat them in a fight??? well, it FINALLY works, and one thing he can do is run!! and he manages to!!!!

GASP! CSM sees mulder leave, and says to let him go!! he seems almost relieved to see mulder alive and with this mystery liquid

and scully’s doing her oscar-winning performance about identifying a body. an absolute serve.

but skinner comes in just as she says this….

her eyes are filled with tears as she pulls out the evidence… (which is just two lines on paper, but you KNOW she is going to explain it)

and she notes that the whole thing was “planned and executed by someone in this room”, seeming to blame it all on skinner… oh my god…

OH MY GOD SHE’S STARTING HER PRESENTATION AND HER NOSE STARTS TO BLEED???

SHE FAINTS?????? and SKINNER CATCHES HER????

she looks at him and says “you…..” before passing back out <- WHAT DID SHE WANT TO SAY TO HIM??!??!?!?!?!

mulder is with the lone gunmen analyzing the mystery liquid…. and it’s water??

hold on, i had to rewatch her fainting and skinner catching her… how he starts to hold her face but stops himself… the way she says “you” so quietly… and then she loses consciousness again… oh my god… to be caught by the person she thinks is killing her…

and skinner… i don’t believe for a minute that he is behind this. how hurt he must be at her accusations, his terror in watching her march ahead recklessly and lie to these people who would kill her in a heartbeat, and actively ARE killing her, and he was the one that made the deal with the devil to try and get this to stop happening, but what if he’s only advanced the work of the devil and got nothing out of it for himself…? and she doesn't even trust him!!!!

i rewatched that scene 4 times. and it was amazing during each of them.

and mulder… with his water… mystery water in vials… what can it do?? is it really just water?? why tf would the government hide vials of water with incredibly specific numbering deep in the pentagon. i don't buy it.

oh man, we are SOOOOOO back!!!!! i am bouncing off the walls. i cannot WAIT to learn what happens next. the angst here was EXQUISITE.

i’m such a sucker for angst involving mulder/scully and skinner. it’s going to get me EVERY time. over and over and over again. it just punches me in the gut. and all the other stuff punches me in the gut too, but this one has a certain je ne sais quoi factor about it; is it the mentor/mentee relationship of it all?? the way they care about each other but don’t know how to express it?? how they go from being willing to die and to kill for each other and then suddenly that trust is entirely removed, back and forth, back and forth? oh, it’s like CATNIP to me.

scully fainting and him catching is already going to be on my list of favorite moments, i know it, i know myself too well.

AUGHHHHHAUAGGHHHHRAUGGHHHHHAUGHHHHHH i LOVE THIS SHOW see it can be SO GOOD WHEN IT WANTS TO BE!!!!!!!!!

the trickery!! the plotting!! the deception!! the mysteries within mysteries!!! i still think the aliens are real though!! what are they doing with those women?? giving then alien DNA so they can steal their eggs to make alien babies?? what is that oil stuff in mulder?? and where does krycek fit into this??? and again, those half alien things in arizona?? don’t tell me!! don’t tell me because i am excited to learn!!!

YEAHHHHH!!!

#a very very very good episode #i look forward to watching the next part hopefully very soon. like in an hour or so would be nice.#they're both so beautiful i don't point it out enough. like i point it out about scully every episode but also? mulder. mulder too.#sometimes he's difficult and annoying but he is always gonna serve looks #and he is still my babygirl despite it all #i can't believe he was going to really do it at the start :(#that is going to make me very sad for a long time. but there are other things to focus on here that are also worth being sad about #truly not going to ever recover from that scully and skinner angst but i don't even want to. it hurt just right.#ahhh! i am so excited to see what happens next!!#tomatoes.#juni's x files liveblog #5x01 #the x files #txf

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sentientcave · 4 months ago

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It has been over a month since I have updated anything and I'm very sorry because I have a whole bunch of things like 95% finished and just haven't been able to get over the finish line. Next chapter of HWTC? Just have to type it. Next Chapter of Retirement Party? Probably 1000 words away. Rugby? I'm so close to the end. Almost done the first draft of Sparrow. Like c'mon man what are you doing get your shit together.

#And like yeah yeah I know it's fanfiction and there's no pressure but I want to get these things actually finished #I need to be able to point at some finished stories and feel like I achieved something #I think I need to go back on adhd meds but I'm worried I'm gonna get sick again #but every aspect of my life is fucking suffering from my inability to start and finish projects #And I probably won't get sick again that was mostly from stress I think #but on the bright side I've been playing animal crossing again and that's been fun #If we're moots and you play it tell me your friend code and we can visit each others islands #cave talking #vent #Ignore me I'm just clearing out the guilty cobwebs so I can hopefully move forward

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lilowoof · 4 months ago

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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone #you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run #my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point #the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer #why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up #what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation #and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other #that might be fun #also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING #but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion #but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha #ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog #one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art #gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free #ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-

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sysig · 17 days ago

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UI Special Feature! (Patreon)

#Doodles #Ghostkinz #Ukadevlog #The UI bug returns and this time I can do something about it!!#I want so many balloons.... You don't understand I /need/ So Many Balloons..........#And also ''balloons'' haha - things that look like menus but aren't #I'm already up to uhhh one main talky balloon and a menu balloon and a special text balloon and an ''alert'' balloon that I don't like lol #Needs some modifying needs something more something specific to it #And then there's the submenus planned and the not-menus - haven't Reallyyy started anything for the Arcade yet so that's a question mark #What I'm saying it the Balloon is planned to be like - half the Ghost lol #The way balloons and the Ghost talk to each other is really cool!! The customization and utility of menu options Doing Things #It's so cool...#Anyway the point is - it's called the WShop and not the GShop that was a mistake on my part lol #I mean you use Kinzcash at the WShop but the W stands for Kinzcash?? Is it short for Webkinzcash???? I refuse #I will not call it the Ghostkinzcash Shop and have the player buy things with Ghostkinzcash that's dumb I'm keeping the W for Kinzcash #I mean it's for recognizability. That's why. Lol #Although I say that but I'm pulling most heavily from the veryyyy early WShop look! From when it was pink rather than blue #Which is doubly confusing because the Kinzstyle Outlet is also blue but like all the way including the awning - it's fine don't worry #Greyscale here makes that not a factor it's all good the important part is the shape #I do wish it'd format better in multiples of 4 or 8 but I guess 6 is okay... It's between the two I want but that's alright I guess #I really am instantly enamoured by collisions - I wondered for a while if Balloons could have collisions but even without them I have ideas #I may or may not have designed a few elements on the assumption that I could add a collision so I mean...But it'll be fine otherwise too lol #The Home and Curio Shop ''menus'' are definitely something I'm looking forward to - animations planned too :D #All hopefully adding up to a cohesive whole ♪

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musical-chick-13 · 5 days ago

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Anyway, related to NOTHING, I think what I'm going to have to do is, with every person I meet, if I find myself feeling something that could even possibly hint at romantic feelings, I back off and ask for space and stop talking to that person.

#like. I can't stop myself from being interested in people but I CAN stop it from developing before it gets Bad™#is this extreme? probably. is it healthy? unlikely. but I don't know what else to do in order to protect myself. I cannot do this again.#I just can't. I'm not going to make it through this another time. yeah okay it won't kill me but I'll be dead inside forever. I'll risk #undoing what progress I've made on myself in the past few years. if this happens again I will almost certainly just...become a husk of #a person. incapable of doing anything with little hope of moving forward. which when I ALREADY have P/T/S/D from #another completely unrelated thing...if anything else comes in I'm just...not going to be able to pick myself up. I'll be so far down in #the canyon that it will just be IMPOSSIBLE to ever climb back up #do I WANT to be in a romantic relationship? yeah. but I know better than to assume I will ever end up in a situation where someone #I want also wants me. I was never made for that. sometimes you're just not meant to do various things. I'm not meant to do this.#you would THINK that I would have fully accepted and internalized this by now but. well.#like. idk. the thing is. no one is truly 'safe' in the sense of 'if I meet a new person in my peer group at this point there's no true #guarantee that I won't develop romantic feelings. it's comparatively UNLIKELY but it's not CERTAIN. I'm just trying to survive #I don't know how to do that if this is part of my life. like I said. I have a complete other unrelated disorder that I need to manage #I can't jeopardize my working through that #why is it so hard for me to be a person #ugh. hopefully my melatonin (which I did finally acquire!!!) will kick in soon and I can sleep dreamlessly for like 9 hours.

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chromotps · 11 months ago

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The thing about Ace/Sabo is that the ship is less about them being brothers but more like them sharing a childhood friendship? That had the potential of becoming something more in the future. Except it didn’t, for obvious reasons. And yeah not everyone’s a fan of that, but people also like the raised by wolves/son of a noble dynamic they had as children. While I agree Sabo does kind of feel like he was stuck to Ace&Luffy as an afterthought, with a piece of chewed-out gum — his existence doesn’t… I don’t know, feel out of place? I also enjoy how kinda tragic his character is, and how he carries that tragedy with him? In the form of Ace’s devil fruit (Sabo also canonically hallucinates and there was an instance where he admitted to hearing Ace’s voice, during his fight with Burgess? so yeah, not everyone’s cup of tea again but I’m a huge fan of hurt/comfort so having a character go through a psychotic depressive episode because of the insane guilt he feels? Just, yeah. Plus there’s something really poetic about him literally eating Ace’s DF and still considering it „Ace’s powers” etc) and the way I see Sabo/Lu is through Ace/Lu (and partially Ace/Sabo) anyway. Because Sabo is trying to fill out the role of an older brother/friend for Luffy that he’s well aware is impossible to fill — because nothing ever will be the same for Luffy. Nothing or no one could even come close to making it up for Ace’s loss to Luffy, and Sabo knows he’s kind of a cheap copy of that (figuratively and literally lmfao, as I know people have been calling him low-budget Ace), but still he tries to? And the fact that Luffy is technically his only remaining family (or at least someone he willingly considers family). And I kind of see it as a parallel to how Ace’s approach to Luffy changed after Sabo’s „death”? Because Sabo was the „kinder” brother, the nicer one, the smarter one, it was usually him who took Luffy’s side whenever Ace was annoyed with him? And the one who explicitly asked Ace to look after Luffy — which then was one of the direct reasons why Ace changed the way he treated Luffy, forced him to be more patient/learn to love and eventually led to Ace willingly becoming the „older brother” figure for Luffy. I’m in no way trying to convince you to like Sabo, don’t get me wrong!! I’m just trying to show an example how Ace/Sabo isn’t necessarily brotherly either (like, I don’t know, Sabo/Luffy seems to be?). And it’s just that while I’m first and foremost a huge Ace/Lu enjoyer I also think Sabo did have a significant impact on their relationship both before and after Ace’s death.

((!! sorry i took a while to reply! i made that post before work on Friday and then got slammed until just now fdghjgk)

the odd thing is, I mostly agree!! I think I had to vent bc i saw ppl (a few specific sabo fans haha) on twitter acting like luffy would feel nothing toward ace but be obsessed with sabo. and, lol, no. but what YOU said makes total sense. like, yes, Ace + Sabo definitely has a different, more involved feeling to me than Ace & Luffy. I've had some ships in the past that fit the raised by wolves/runaway noble trope... the charm of the noble feeling like "this is the only person I feel like I can really be myself around" and the wild one thinking "i like spending time with this noble—they're tougher/kinder/funnier than i gave them credit for" AND/OR "society has always rejected me, but this 'cultured' person accepting me heals that pain a little bit"—all of those things are really charming.

Maybe if we'd seen more about how ace and sabo became friends, or if there were more emphasis on sabo's acceptance being what helped ace's anger (instead of, just from how i saw things, it being mostly luffy's unconditional warmth toward ace that did it?) then I'd personally be more feral about that dynamic, haha. But it's like you said, I guess it all depends on what we each connect with. I dont find tragedy alone compelling... I'm depressed enough already as it is LMAO!! if I think too hard about how viscerally sad Sabo only remembering Ace after he'd died is, my brain just shuts down. But I've got really good friends who would EAT THAT UP. Like, yeah, it is beautifully poetic... hahaha now i'm laughing thinking about my friends who were really into Hamlet and Romeo & Juliet finding out about Sabo & Ace and being obsessed, ahaha (they're not so into One Piece tho, only jjk... at least, for now!! 😈)

it's hard to put into words, but there's something about Sabo being a revolutionary vs. ace and luffy being pirates, that kind of explains why my brain sees A+L as very very very different than A&S or L&S. But like, that's just my brain and how my heart likes to focus on characters with really codependent relationships/dreams/themes, hahaha...

#also if we're talking tragedy #so many people have said it better than i ever could but #the beauty and drama of marineford #i live in denial and usually like imagining a timeline where ace was severaly wounded but lived through it #but canon #gosh #ace dying in luffy's arms bc luffy was in danger and he had to protect him #and he only had to protect him bc luffy was too weak from fighting his way through hell for ace #the love was there and it mattered and it didn't change anything but it mattered etc etc i'm WAILING #i don't know i'm bad at explaining why one of those tragedies makes my brain feel things and the other one doesn't quite as much #i wish i could express it better!!! sometimes i'm so frustrated with how i feel like i'm not really getting across the point i meant to #ace had been looking for that love his whole life!! he died KNOWING he had it!! (also like i didn't mention whitebeard here but #all that love ace received being the exact reason he had to turn back....)#and luffy!! luffy knowing he mattered to ace so much--ace loved him so much--he would die for him....#and going forward with that rock-solid certainty that he's loved in the new world #i'm going to fight a traffic sign. i'm at a loss.#ANYWAY i don't know if this was interesting or annoying as an answer but....... hopefully it was at least a little fun?#and if we just connect with different things in one piece then--not too surprising #with how big the story is!!!#the beauty of fandom etc etc different perspectives coming together and all that #meta #op #asl

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