#and hoo boy did i pay for that

[ozzyphim]

I have discovered today while out getting groceries that dairy-free ice cream exists, and dairy-free BEN AND JERRY'S ice cream exists. Absolutely delicious. Excuse me while I try not to eat this entire container in one sitting.

[patchodraws]

i still to this day think it would have been hella epic if campaign 2 had ended with lucien trying to invade exandria with his new living city-fortress and the mighty nein gathering all of the allies they’ve met and the friends they’ve made across the campaign to mount a defence against him. he’d show up with his fleshy brain armies and realise who’s there to stop him: a massive army of friends, all here to stop him.

and he chuckles to himself. “very brave, you lot. but who do you think you are to stop me?”

and veth steps up to say, “we are the mighty nein!”

lucien frowns. “but…there are so many of you.”

[base0h]

HOW HAIKYUU CHARACTERS WOULD REACT TO YOU COMPLIMENTING ANOTHER PLAYER

a/n - I’m alive I swear 💀 I just rewatched some of haikyuu so I’m more familiar with that rn 😂😂

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, fluff/crack, pre-timeskip characters btw, I don’t feel like making picture banners for all of them like I do with one piece forgive me for just putting text 🥲

HINATA

- yeah you just broke your bro’s heart into a billion pieces

- remember that time when he got nailed in the crotch by a ball in S4? Yeah that’s what it felt like

- “Isn’t he so cool Hinata?!” -you

- but he’s also torn because he also thinks they’re awesome af 😭 so he can’t decide if he’s more saddened by the fact that you’re not saying that about him or if he’s excited that you also like one of his idols

- “…Yes he’s— very cool.” -hinata

- “…You do know my fav player’s always gonna be you though right?”

- oh you don’t even KNOW. How happy you just made him. You just turned his life around with just a single sentence

- bro could burst through the ceiling now

- he basically smothered you with a hug after that and did one of those koala hugs where he was basically just clinging onto you with pure adoration and affection

- it’s one thing if some random other student or little kid came up to him saying he was cool— like don’t get me wrong he’d probably freak out in a good way about that too

- but when it comes from you? He could have all haters but if he still had you? He’s totally fine. All bro needs is your support

- but do be careful because he might actually suffocate you one day if you compliment him too much

- each time you say something good about him his hugs get stronger?? If that’s even possible idk 😭

- you’ll have a great free chiropractor tho so woo hoo😁👍

GOSHIKI

- bro has a thing for getting compliments or getting praise. I saw it VERY clearly when Hinata gave him that compliment about his spikes during the shiratorizawa training camp

- and then when Tendo said his bangs were cool bro was so happy 😭 (he’s so sweet oml)

- but of course when you watch his matches— I mean— you’re gonna be impressed by ushijima

- who wouldn’t be? Bros a literal nuclear bomb ahh spiker 💀

- after one of his matches you went up to him and started talking about ushijima and how cool his spikes and serves were

- “I feel like he’s gonna literally pop the ball everytime he hits it! It’s awesome!” -you

- he agrees wholeheartedly with you! But— man. He wanted you to say that about him 😭

- “Yeah— he’s amazing right..?” -him

- “He’s a third year right?”

- Goshiki nodded and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, looking a bit down

- “Oh so he’s just clearing the way for you then! There can only be one ace so he’s gotta move out of the way for you.”

(I couldn’t find the proper meme to put here so here’s the actual screenshot of him)

- bro could ascend

- he could die right then and there

- but then he remembered he has to show off for you still so he stayed on earth

- ushijima heard you say that btw

- it looked like he wanted to murder you but in reality he thought it was very nice of you to say that to lift goshiki’s spirits

- he just— looks like he wants to crush you and send you to mars 💀

- also Tendo makes fun of him for being so happy about being praised

- “HAHAHAHAH— you LOVE it when y/n ever tells you something positive about you huh~??” -tendo

- yeah no he’s not gonna leave your poor bowl cut boy alone about it now

BOKUTO

- like the other two, he’s big on praise

- I mean before every match the manager tells him someone in the audience said he looks cool so he plays better 😭😭

- having you supporting him at his matches is like having an entire stadium full of people cheering his name

- you make Akaashi’s life less stressful. Good job y/n, Akaashi loves you for that and will legit pay you money to keep coming even though he knows he doesn’t have to. He’s that grateful for you

- I ain’t kidding one time Akaashi just started tearing up thanking you for being his fail safe plan if his 2000000 other plans to get Bokuto out of his emo mode don’t work

- he knows just like one compliment from you will cure Bokuto

- yeah so guess what you had to go and say right before a match started?

- “I just saw itachiyama play and wow that Sakusa guy who’s one of the top 3 spikers was just as good as they said he was!” -you

- akaashi might just do a backflip off of the stadium roof at this point 🙂 hardcore parkour

- the way you could literally see Bokuto’s hair droop down is insane

- konoha and sarukui were like: holy shit we’re absolutely cooked 😀

- this wasn’t an emo mode this was an avant garde mode

- but right as Akaashi was about to seriously jump off the roof, you saved everyone from the disaster you created

- “I don’t know why you’re not in the top three though, imo you’re a lot better than that guy, and a lot cooler looking too.”

- Akaashi looked like he was gonna live again

- Bokuto’s hair flipped back upwards and he excitedly smiled at you, giving you a big hug before going onto the court with an ecstatic air about him

- Akaashi is genuinely terrified of how you can simultaneously destroy their team and bring it back together with singular sentences

- you’re Bokuto’s weakness number 38 which akaashi does not have a solution for 💀

AKAASHI

- Akaashi is honestly happy you’re just with him

- he doesn’t really mind it if you can’t come to see him play, of course he’d love for you to be there but he totally understands if you can’t, and won’t be destroyed about it

- he loves your support and will always appreciate you for cheering him on (and being his mental support because taking care of Bokuto is life draining and he probably gets about a month taken off of his life everytime Bokuto goes into his emo mode)

- during the match with nekoma, you noticed how the setter on their team was also quite an intelligent and skilled player despite seeming so bored and uninterested in the sport entirely

- he had a hold on Bokuto for a good while and it was impressive how he managed to put Bokuto in a slump so smoothly and discreetly

- after the match, you congratulated fukurodani on their victory, and akaashi thanked you for coming like the gentleman bro is

- “That setter on nekoma was really good— he was so calculating and calm about his strategy to make Bokuto go into a slump!” -you

- Akaashi was still a bit traumatized by Bokuto literally forgetting how to do cross shots entirely so uh— 😀

- yeah it didn’t really sound great to him

- bro had to pull out a whole ass speech plus hinata to get Bokuto back on his feet and then you say that 🥲

- he isn’t mad or anything but he isn’t very overjoyed either

- “Yes, he was a really tough opponent. Kuroo-san was too.” -Akaashi

- Akaashi was good at hiding his displeasure, so it just sounded like he was saying something normal like he usually would, in a straight steady tone

- “No match for you and the team though, you guys definitely deserved the win. And you actually look interested and not like you want to die on the court unlike that setter on nekoma— he looked like he wanted to collapse and sleep forever after the first set.”

- he wasn’t expecting you to say that, and he looked pleasantly surprised

- Bokuto grinned and put his arm around the setter

- “Y/n’s right as always, Kenma’s no match for akaashi!” -Bokuto

- the rest of the team wholeheartedly agreed, and akaashi felt glad, happy to know that his team, and especially you thought so highly of him

- no one else could handle Bokuto like he could, and no one could be as cool in your eyes as he was

- you could probably tell him his glasses looked nice and he would never take them off again—

- he’s the type of guy to listen to whatever you say a bit too much sometimes 😭

- he legit remembers the outfit you wore the day he first met you

- kinda creepy but sweet ig? 🤷

OIKAWA

- bro has a billion fans and only really cares abt you cheering him on

- like ofc he needs other people to be cheering him on too because he’s extra like that but it’s 80% you

- don’t ask abt the 20%

- yk how all those girls were asking for his picture and stuff? Ever since he got together with you, he’s been avoiding them a lot more

- he knows it’s probably especially annoying for you to see a bunch of random people asking your boyfriend for pictures and giving him handmade things

- just know that he thinks you’re better than any girl combined and if you ever like start walking away before he’s finished trying to get the girls away from him he will legit sprint after you while screaming

- “Y/N-CHAN WAAAAAAAAAIT!!!”

- my dude is running, and I mean running like a mf track star. You piss off his fangirls so much bro it’s so funny how they look at you like they want to poison you in your sleep💀💀💀

- he reassures you on the daily that you’re beautiful and amazing, but still it’s annoying to see all the girls fawn over him

- so you decided to give him a similar taste of his own medicine

- at the next matches, you were watching with him a match with karasuno and shiratorizawa. You know VERY well that he does not like karasuno or shiratorizawa

- ushijima is probably the one who’s the worst…

- perfect.

- “Whoa Ushijima’s serves are so cool!! And he uses his left hand too damn that’s unique! I’ve never seen a left handed player like him before, and those spikes look like they’re about to tear karasuno’s blocker’s arms off!” -you

- I don’t think he’s ever been more simultaneously heart broken, and pissed at ushijima at the same time before

- he’s such a baby about it too

- he’ll cross his arms and act like he doesn’t care when obviously he does, and with the way he’s pouting about it like a little kid was proof that your little plan worked very well

- “Hmph, I guess so.” -him

- “What, you salty since you lost?” -you

- “Would you mind not rubbing salt in it? It’s only been like two days!”

- you couldn’t help but burst out into laughing because of how upset he was by this— it was ridiculous

- if you had your phone out you would’ve taken a picture of his face and sent it to iwaizumi for shits and giggles

- “I’m joking Oikawa, I think you’re much cooler than ushijima. You have a lot more personality than him.” -you

- “That’s damn right I do!” -him

- “…I didn’t say a good personality or anything.”

- “Pardon me?! I’m very demure and cute thank you very much.”

- “You saying that just proves you’re anything but that.”

- “Y/N BE NICE TO ME :(“

- “No. :)”

- “I knew I shouldn’t have let you hang out with Iwa-chan, he’s turned you against me!”

KUROO

- you’re the carbon to his dioxide

- the hydrogen to his peroxide

- the deoxyribose to his phosphate group (I paid attention in science kuroo, yw)

- even if he doesn’t get to be interviewed by some reporter, and even if he doesn’t get to go to nationals

- if you’re there and supporting him he feels better

- talking to you and hearing you say how cool he plays is more than an interview could ever mean to him

- seriously you make him chemically insane

- like he does not understand how just being around you releases endorphins somehow (you’re magical)

- you had heard of their opponents nohebi from eavesdropping on a couple of random people’s conversations in the lobby

- they were a strong team, and you were intrigued by how a lot of people seemed to dislike them a lot for the way they played.. which was very underhanded

- but even with their underhanded tactics, they were a solid team with good technique and teamwork

- “Whoa the captain of nohebi is actually pretty good!” -you

- “Ugh I know right? Come on nekoma!” -Akane (Yamamoto’s little sister)

- I feel like kuroo has horrible eyesight but then absolutely amazing hearing? Idk 💀 but whatever the case was, he heard that

- loud and clear

- mhm he’s ready to kill nohebi now

- bro is legit a one man Great Wall of china now

- he’s “powered up” as Kenma would say

- Kenma took note that you were kuroo’s power up skill, and would remember to use you in the future as well

- I’m serious bro is flexing so hard on you rn 😭

- he is working double time, sweating, tryna channel his inner Bokuto

- yaku hasn’t needed to save the ball because kuroo’s trying so hard to impress you 💀

- honestly it’s kind of amazing— seeing him sprinting left and right and slamming balls down like it was no one’s business but his

- he checks like every five seconds to see if you’re watching his amazing skills

- and after the match— Kenma went up to you first and thanked you bc Kuroo did like 70% of the work for him 😭

- Kenma legit gave you a Nintendo gift card he’s had in his back pocket since 2019 as a thank you gift and as a “please continue making kuroo do all the work” gift

- god knows how it’s stayed in his pants that have probably been through countless wash cycles 💀

- “Oh kuroo! Fukunaga’s last spike was so cool! He totally hit that line shot perfectly!”

- way to stab kuroo in the back 🥲 he’s legit about to collapse from emotionally throwing out his back

- old man down over here

- he was so destroyed— you left no piece of him intact he’s in literal shambles

- “But kuroo you were so cool! You kept blocking and repelling the balls like you were oppositely charged from the ball!”

- and he’s alive again, you’re a magician

- complimenting him using a science reference?

- oh just marry him already 😭

- he knew you must just be dopamine bc he smiles like an idiot whenever you’re around

- somehow his smile gets even dorkier when you compliment him

- if it’s a science compliment he could quite literally ascend to the moon

- “Hehe thanks y/n.” -him

- “Were you tryna show off in the last set?” -you

- “…Why? Did it work?”

- “…Hm. Perhaps hypothetically, yes.”

- “How does one go about making that hypothesis a true statement? 😏”

- kuroo is so nerdy and his pickup lines are so bad that it just takes whatever smoothness he had (very little to start with btw) away 😭😭😭

- like pls when he first met you when yall were paired up to do a science project about magnetism— bro said

- “Even Neodymium would lose if it were to compete against your magnetic personality 😏🌹”

- “…What? 💀” -you

- you weren’t really sure if you should love bro for his effort or be scared of how bad his pickup lines were

- the answer is both

- it all ended up ok anyways— you’re bonded to him together since yall are oppositely charged ✌️

a/n - no I don’t know how to make pickup lines 💀

[r1z3n]

You know I talked about Unhinged Tim & Dick

but I want to talk about Jason and Dick.

Cause yeah Jason didn't necessarily learn from Dick like Tim did but that is because Dick was never expected to be an authority to Jason. (Not just narratively but in canon if we pay attention to it. Dick was never expected to take care of Jason the same way he was for every sibling afterwards)

That means they probably play by different rules. They are probably close in that way that everyone would be like 'they hate each other'.

Dick and Jason probably don't even realize it. To them it is just how it is.

Like yeah of course they will tear each other apart verbally, then flip around ready to eviscerate anyone else that tried, and all would be forgiven with a shitty cold convenience store coffee with the correct amount of sugar and cream.

Oh yeah, Jason knows about every person Dick every killed or got close to killing, as cop/mercenary/spy/vigilante, except you know Joker, because it never came up. Dick brought the others up during a fight when Jason tried to be "oh boo hoo, you wouldn't know".

Dick, what do you mean YOU KNEW ABOUT THE GLOWING SWORDS? Dick sipping Starbucks raised eyebrow of Judgement 'you didn't?' To be fair he only found out because they were watching a supernatural episode (because 100% Jason had a phase as a preteen and now wants to get the new spn memes context even if he is gonna hate it), and well it couldn't hurt to double check. They were Fine and the swords were cool. Now they have semi every other weekend plans for the next few years, and Constantine gets nervous around them.

Jason and Dick just know all secrets of each other, but ask them what the other's favorite color is or some like surface level thing, and you gonna get 'why the fuck would I know that?.

They also probably don't realize how unhinged the other is, in a way that makes them even more unhinged together because 'well if they are like this then i need to match it' until you know suddenly you have villains and goons begging for any other pair after them. Red Hood, they can deal with. Nightwing, they can deal with. Red Hood and Nightwing, and suddenly harden criminals are screaming for Batman to save them. Much to the two's bafflement.

Even more baffling an old boy goon looking at Nightwing, going 'he brings out the first robin in you boy." like one says "he brings out the demon in you."

[rallamajoop]

That time Heisenberg stabbed Ethan with a rusty fencepost

Thanks to this one fic project that needed a pornographically detailed list of Ethan’s most memorable injuries, I've spent some time trying to figure out exactly what Heisenberg stabs him with when they first met. Working mostly from a free-camera version from youtube, I settled on calling a metal pipe with a square profile.

Tumblr: I was wrong. The reality is so much worse.

Having cracked the game files and installed my own free-camera mod, I tracked down the original asset for this thing, and, well...

No, really, this is it! Check out those matching cross-bars if you doubt me.

FWIW, it isn’t actually a spear. Those semi-mangled crossbars flag it instead as a spear-headed fence-post. (This may not be a distinction that Ethan would find very comforting after being stabbed with the thing, but there it is, regardless.)

In fact, if you poke around the cemetery area just outside the castle gate, you can even find the fence it presumably came from.

Look in on the cemetery near the church from the lane leading up to the Duke's shop beside it, and this is what you'll see.

It's not a perfect match (in fact, it's even worse viewed from the opposite side, because someone has clearly stuffed up the textures on different sides of the same asset). I'll also note that if you go back to this fence again after meeting Heisenberg, you won’t find any suspicious gaps in it where a post was recently ripped out. So I’m going to just go ahead and assume this particular piece was lying in a pile of surplus scrap in the cellar somewhere, and Heisenberg did not, in fact, drag the thing all the way there from well outside the whole damn building. I mean, at that point, you’re just showing off.

The fence post is, admittedly, pretty hard to get a good look at in the actual game. Unlike all the other crap Heisenberg already has levitating around him in this scene, the fencepost doesn’t appear at all until Heisenberg stabs Ethan with it. It actually seems to emerge at speed from between a couple of barrels at the back. But if you’re enough of a lunatic to play around with the various slow motion/rewind settings that came with the free camera mod, you can get a decent shot of it in flight, cleaning up any remaining doubt that this is the same asset that was used in game.

It even freaking spins in the air as it moves. FTR, yes, it does go in pointy-end first. And the whole fucking spearhead ends up buried in poor Ethan. (Please feel free to insert your own dick-joke here.) Those paying really close attention might even note that the blood on Ethan's shirt is present even before the spear hits him, but that's just going to be virtual-stunt-coordination having a normal one.

I can offer you no similarly definitive insight into why Heisenberg would think stabbing Ethan with this thing was a good idea. I can’t even tell you if he knew for sure that it was Ethan Winters he was talking to at this point (maybe he's just playing dumb, pretending not to recognise him. Or maybe he legit didn't know that Ethan himself had made an appearance until Miranda told him. Sure, he's already got that whole conspiracy board, but finding real pictures of this Ethan-guy is surprisingly hard.) But whether Heis was already testing out Ethan’s ‘interesting body’, or whether he’d just generally assumed that anyone who could survive a full lycan assault on the village wouldn’t be too seriously inconvenienced by a little stabbing, hoo boy was this one way to make a first impression.

I’m not even sure which of these losers is the bigger idiot here: the one who imagined Ethan might still agree to work with him even after inserting a very convincing imitation-spearhead into his intestines, or the one who never thought to seriously question how he keeps shrugging off injuries just as exciting as this one.

They probably deserve each other.

[heartshapedbubble]

Ello can I request a Norton Fools good x fem reader where she came across the blown up mines and sees Norton (in his hunter form) she’s scared at first but starts to recognise him and slowly starts to approach him reaching her hand up to cub his cheeks ( bro this man needs all the love! )

HOO BOY i agree tho... his release made me regain my interest in norton🫡🫡

[not to be a scum but i'm still open for sanrio emma comms btw😭😭]

fool's gold: imagine...⛏️

cut for length!

paying the bills has become a hellish cycle. break your back to pay off the expenses, relax for the following twenty-ish days, and be sent into frenzy again, not knowing if you're going to have a roof over your head tomorrow or not.

you found yourself hopelessly skimming through newspaper, looking for any job offer possible that would easen up the burden on your wallet. The paper was plastered with offers from bars, post offices and restaurants, but those were a always gamble. will you get your wage or not? and if you will, when? too much effort for something so high-risk.

at last, a small offer in the corner of the page caught your attention. pressed in miniscule letters, it said: MINE RESEARCH. EMPLOYEES URGENTLY NEEDED. EQUIPMENT PROVIDED. underneath the text, an attractive number: $15,000 payed off immediately after the job is done.

not only could this solve the rent for the following 3 months, you'd also have some money left for yourself! you rang the number the second you got home and successfully scored the job, due to the urgency of the situation.

it took you a day or two to start thinking about the job. what do you exactly need to know for mine research? probably at least some physical strength and stamina, you thought. surely it can't be too complex.

you arrived at the mine right on time, the sun slowly slipping back into the horizon to let the moon take center stage. to your dismay, you realized no one else applied for the job. maybe this wasn't a good idea after all? crawling through the narrow, rocky terrain all alone doesn't sound like the ideal scenario. no living being in sight, and 20 minutes have already went by.

still, that money is way too good to pass up. you picked up one of the yellow helmets piled up at the entrance, prayed to whatever god out there that your flashlight has enough power to last the following 2 hours and mindlessly rushed into the collapsing mine.

for the following 10 minutes, your sight unfocused while your mind took the lead, in front of and all around you just rocks and grime, shadows dispelled by the flashlight held by your hip like a lance. only after a good 5 minutes of running did you realize that you, in fact, have no idea what you're supposed to do. what qualifies as mine research? mining, inspecting the ores, measuring the surface?

all sweaty and breathless, the tunnel led you to a large room inside of the mine, the roof extending towards what seemed like a pitch black abyss. carts messily thrown around, bumpy and unpolished geodes laying all over the place, when was the last time a living being stepped foot into this mine? it made sense that such a large sum of money was needed to attract volunteers.

you carefully moved through the rubble, trying to avoid stepping onto pickaxes and shrapnel splayed all over the ground. since you forgot about the gloves your bare hand now held onto the unpromising terrain, the other firmly squeezing the only source of light in this limbo.

the surface grazing your hand now seems like it became... smoother? no longer does it cut and pierce your palms. it's bumpy, but at least you're not risking an infection anymore.

moving inch by inch in fear of falling, the stone below changes its form. you don't even pay attention to the fact that you're now grabbing onto cloth and that, below your palm, a steady pulse is faintly beating.

it's already too late when you realize that you're not alone, and the stone below you starts to take shape and morph until it extends towards the ceiling, now towering over you, slouched like a ragdoll.

complementing the cold shades of grey, a face emerges from the shadows. pale, with defined cheekbones, although malnourished. only his bust passes as human, as below his collarbones there's nothing but a mosaic of pebbles and boulders forming his torso, arms and legs. it - or he, perhaps - is breathing with struggle, coughs interrupting his wheezes here and there.

you feel a sense of dread overcoming you. you freeze on the spot, but he doesn't budge, either. lifeless except for the fact he's breathing and his heart ticks like a machine.

you draw back a step, and he lunges forward, seemingly still not used to this monstrous body of his. he could harm me with ease if he wanted to, a thought suddenly manifests in your mind, and with newfound bravery you inspect the cryptid like a sculpture. your hand grazes over his bumpy and unfinished hands, tugs at the remains of his clothes around his chest. he groans, in annoyance, you assume, but doesn't resist. you climb up a cart to reach his face, your fingers pinch his stubborn hairstrands, inspect the cavity in which his other eye once laid. in a moment of either stupidity or courage you roughly pinch his cheeks - they're cold to the touch, but it's funny how naturally does his intimidating face mush like a little boy's. kind of cute. after a minute of cooing to yourself two of his rocky fingers gently pinch your wrists and put them back to your sides, but his one foggy eye doesn't divert its gaze from yours.

perhaps the flashlight can last an hour more.. you've just began getting to know him, and the mystery of the mine and his origin still lay cold for you to discover.

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Harry wants it known that he’s at the ministry’s Yule gala under duress. It was all he could do to force himself into his dress robes and make himself presentable; he can’t fathom where he’ll find the energy he needs to get through the rest of the evening.

People he barely knows keep coming up to him – as they always do – to shake his hand, chat with him about this and that, thank him for his role in defeating the dark lord. (Still. He really wishes they’d stop doing that. It’s been more than six years now.)

And then there are pockets of people, staring at him and whispering behind their hands. Another constant in his public appearances, though he imagines the content of their conversations is at least a little different from usual, if not the tone. 

He’s just escaped another fan and is looking to make a beeline for the bar when it happens. Harry sees his doom approaching from several metres away but, since they saw him first and he (stupidly) refuses to run away, he stands there like an idiot, wishing he were anywhere else.

“Hi Harry,” Ginny says. It looks like she wants to hug him or get close, and his shoulders stiffen involuntarily. Thankfully, she stays where she is.

“Hullo Ginny,” he replies and, without looking at the man, utters a terse, “Malfoy.”

The smug arse smirks at him. “Potter.”

“How’ve you been?” Ginny asks, which. Rude. If she actually cared about that, she wouldn’t have cheated on him with the git on her arm, but whatever. 

“Oh, fine. Y’know, keeping busy.” God, he hates small talk.

Before he can respond with the requisite, ‘And you?’, Malfoy jumps in. “Yes, I suppose you have been, from what I’ve heard.”

Ugh. Fucking Malfoy. Harry wishes he had a drink or seven. He can’t believe he’d rather be caught in another conversation with that weirdo from earlier about his wand-care habits, of all things.

Ginny gently elbows Malfoy in the side with a chiding, “Draco.”

He’s considering the merits of letting himself be ripped apart by the anti-apparition wards to get away from this conversation – splinching himself can’t be much more painful than this – when a hand bearing a very welcome drink appears in front of him. That’ll do for now, though splinching is still on the table. Especially when he follows the hand to the arm up to the face and of course it’s Ri– Tom.

Harry gives him the side-eye, but accepts the drink. “Thanks.”

Tom leans in slightly, just enough so the two in front of them can’t read his lips. “You looked like you might be in need of a rescue.”

And as he pulls back out of Harry’s personal space, he rests a hand low on Harry’s back. Harry tenses for a moment before just accepting that tonight is all about him being as uncomfortable as possible. He takes a gulp of his drink – something dark and spicy. It burns pleasantly.

When he starts paying attention again, he finds Ginny looking at Tom with surprise; Malfoy is looking at the other man with – is that a hint of fear? And Tom is staring them both down, but somehow managing to do it with a veneer of politeness. 

“Good evening, Draco,” he says pleasantly. “Ginevra.”

“Riddle.” Malfoy’s greeting is stiff, as is the awkward, aborted bow he gives. Hmm.

“And Harry,” Tom says, turning to look at him fondly. “So good to see you again.”

Hoo boy.

“You,” Harry murmurs from behind the rim of his drink. “Are not subtle.”

Tom takes the opportunity to slide his hand further around Harry’s back, lightly gripping his hip and pulling him closer up against Tom’s side. He returns Harry’s withering look with an undaunted smile. “I wasn’t trying to be.”

“Yeah, I’m getting that.”

“When did you two get so cosy?” Ginny cuts in. Her tone is playful, but there’s more than offhand curiosity lurking beneath.

“Uh.” Shite, he doesn’t ever want Ginny to find out how this started, but especially not in public. Who knows who’s listening in or watching. “We ran into each other by chance a month and a half ago” –actually, he’s how I found out you were fucking Malfoy behind my back– “and we’ve met up a few times since then. It’s nice to have someone… uninvolved to talk to.”

Tom looks amused at that. He’s definitely involved in the demise of Harry’s relationship, and if there’s one thing they haven’t been doing (but probably should), it’s talking.

“I’ve been helping him expand his horizons,” Tom says without apparent innuendo, yet somehow the layered meaning is still obvious. Prat. “Getting him to try new things, keeping him busy.”

“You and half the town,” Malfoy mutters under his breath.

“I see…” Ginny says over him. “Funny how that escaped the rumour mill.” 

Harry laughs awkwardly, wishing for a stray lightning bolt to strike and put him out of his misery. “Must not’ve been exciting enough.”

The conversation dies for long enough to become uncomfortable - well, even more so. Malfoy touches Ginny’s elbow and leans down to speak into her ear. Harry seizes their distraction to turn on Tom.

“Are you sure you don’t want to piss on me to mark your territory while you’re at it?” he asks dryly.

Tom wrinkles his nose delicately in disgust. “No need to be crude. Though…” He gives Harry a considering once-over. “I’m not at all opposed to the idea of you carrying my mark. How do you feel about tattoos?”

Harry snorts. “Not a chance.”

The other man tucks his face in close to Harry’s, breath hot against the skin beneath his ear. “What about bruises?”

As though he doesn’t regularly leave an abundance of those on Harry anyway, what with his penchant for treating Harry like a chew toy. Harry shivers all the same, just a little bit. He can feel the barest brush of Tom’s grin against his neck.

Ginny clears her throat pointedly.

“Good to know,” Tom breathes as he pulls back.

Ginny continues trying to talk to him while Malfoy makes the odd snide comment, Tom attempts to meld into Harry’s side while replying for him and being subtly insulting, and Harry tries to become one with the floor. He realises he’s missed a question when he breaks out of his daze to find both Tom and Ginny are watching him expectantly.

“Huh?”

Ginny starts to say something when Tom cuts her off. "Care to dance?"

If looks could kill, Tom would be in a bad way with how Ginny’s glaring at him. "Harry doesn't dance," she says tetchily. Tom doesn't bother with her, waiting for Harry's wary nod.

He looks back at Ginny smugly. "Perhaps yet another new thing to which I can introduce him.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Harry says, grabbing Tom’s wrist and dragging him towards the dance floor. Best to get this over with, and all the better if it means he doesn’t have to speak with anyone else in the meantime.

"She's not wrong," he mutters once they don't have to fear being overheard. "I don't dance.”

"Just follow my lead," Tom replies easily. “Would it be correct to say you don’t particularly care about stepping on my toes?”

Harry stares at him blankly for a moment before he feels a reluctant smile appear on his face. “It might be the one redeeming part of this.”

“The only one?” Tom says archly, pulling him into the correct hold. And, without giving Harry a chance to breathe or think, they’re off in what Harry thinks might be a waltz. 

"That was quite the risk you took," Harry says, trying not to stare at his feet and hoping for the best as Tom spins him around the room. He is, oddly enough, a much better dancer when he’s not constantly concerned about crushing someone's foot.

"Was it?"

"Yes. What made you think I wouldn't refuse and let you look foolish?"

He catches sight of a pleased grin on Tom's face from the corner of his eye. "The same thing that made me ask you to dance when I've seen your previous forays. You rise to the occasion when I push you.” He looks at Harry, for a moment, proudly. “I also knew you’d be more than amenable to anything that got you away from those two.”

Harry can’t deny that.

“Now look sharp, and do try to keep up,” Tom says, the hand at Harry’s lower back gripping him a little tighter.

“Wha–?” 

And it’s all he can do not to trip over his feet and take them both down in a painful sprawl, but the rush, the heady triumph of making it through the successive, intricate turns, goes straight to his head. Before he can stop himself, Harry lets out a loud peal of laughter, further disrupting the couples around them and drawing sneers and disapproving glances. And he just doesn’t care. Not that he thinks he normally would’ve, but it feels like it’s been ages since he’s felt so light and happy. So, he doesn’t think about the people around him. He doesn’t think about how it’s Tom who’s making him feel this way. He just basks in the sun-warm feeling of contentment – of being okay for the first time in a while.

(One night)

[joydoesathing]

i never get to see you talk about Arlene and Glenn much, do you have any facts about them you want to share? (also love your art)

hiii i'm glad you asked. hoo boy, i'm not sure where to start but i'll do my best💚💜

so glenn is quite stoic and a conformist. he had to work his way up to get to where he is now, a rather successful banker, but of course it was never smooth sailing, so he had to steel himself. he also is aware that people like him don't usually get opportunities to get to work white-collar jobs and get good pay, so he does his best to keep in-line and appeal to his peers, lest he gets kicked out of work (at the time when he first got his job, i would estimate it would be around the the early 1930s and inequality was still very rampant, so he may get kicked out for even the slightest slip up)

arlene on the other hand, is an open-minded and friendly woman. she is also quite spirited and sticks to her own convictions, which can make her come off as a bit eccentric. she originally worked as a factory worker but decided to quit and pursue her passion as a writer.

when glenn first met arlene, of course, he did ridicule her a lot. he would ask why she left her job that at the very least has more stable pay just to become a writer, whose pay is less stable. there are way more factors that glenn could point out on why writing isn't a wise career but still arlene still remained unbothered, which confused glenn a lot.

"that didn't sound right. isn't it supposed to be "minor inconveniences"?"

as weird and absurd he thinks arlene's persistence is, it's one of the things that captivated him about her.

"if i just continue working in that factory, i would get more stable pay, yes, but surely i wouldn't be truly happy and living would just seem bleak and tedious, don't you think? personally, writing gives more color to my life for that's where my passion lies."

it's an outlandish and illogical way of thinking. giving up financial stability, just for your passion? glenn doesn't understand why or how, but there's just something endearing and enviable about that persistence and ambition.

compared to his own financially stable but stifling and not very eventful life, arlene seems more happy and satisfied.

maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be at least have someone that could give his own life color through their genuine happiness.

tldr: stoic and conformist guy finds happiness with eccentric gal

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Anne Bancroft (The Graduate, The Miracle Worker)— This woman aged like fine wine. Anne's presence is magnetic. She's the focus if any scene regardless if whether she's meant to be or not. She is gorgeous in everything she did, and really carries that classic vintage flair.

Kim Novak (Vertigo, Bell, Book, and Candle)— She fought as much as she could to be able to preserve her own identity within the crushing hollywood system. She refused to change her czech last name and fought for a higher salary once she discovered her male counterparts were getting payed significantly more, which was an incredibly risky thing to do. She went through so much hollywood bs like she was forced to drop her affair with Sammy Davis jr. She played her iconic role in Vertigo thinking about her own oppressive and significant changes she had to undergo in order to fit in the tight hollywood mold which i think is partly why the movie is so beautiful and timeless. She is a gorgeous soul and a great artist.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Anne Bancroft propaganda:

“legendary milf. she does sultry so well but also tenderness. has a tony And an oscar for acting.”

“Obviously she’s a phenomenal actress overall and she plays the number 1 milf of all time in The Graduate. She IS the Mrs. Robinson that Simon & Garfunkel are singing about. If you’re not a milf lover though, I highly recommend Don’t Bother to Knock. Marilyn Monroe is also in the movie, but hoo boy I had eyes for ONE woman and it was not the blonde! It’s one of her earliest movies, she is strikingly beautiful in it, and I turned to mush whenever she was on screen. Also she was married to Mel Brooks for 40 years, and given that long marriages are a rarity in old Hollywood I’m happy to see it”

Kim Novak:

[ronearoundblindly]

Which of the guys would be open to participate in a self care/spa day with you? 🛁🫧💅

This one I separated into categories for who genuinely enjoys, stands it for you, or only allows it when a daughter wants to play (and no, that's not with you, but 'he' just needs worn way down to allow it). No warnings but I bet you'll find some surprises...

Truly Finds Joy In Self-Care

Ransom Drysdale, Johnny Storm, Jake Jensen, and Lloyd Hansen

I think we all know that Ransom and Lloyd are preening, pretty bois, so this should come as no surprise to anyone. Ransom is more private with his beauty regimen, but he's not above paying good money to visit a fancy spa. Lloyd has entirely too much fun showing off how callus/indifferent he is by, ya know, ordering people's death by phone while a clay mask detoxes his pores, etc. He is also heavily critical of what products he will use again (i.e. if grittiness stuck in his mustache or if an exfoliant irritated his fresh shave).

Johnny and Jake are playful about it; Jake likes the process of relaxing more than Johnny. Jake nerds out on the chemical properties of ingredients. Johnny teases you about the frou-frou-ness of it all the whole time, HOWEVER, he is also the one who enjoys a foot massage more than any other character. Falls asleep within two damn minutes. It's bizarre and sort of endearing.

Would Do It To Please You

James Mace, Curtis Everett, and Steve Rogers

Curtis can make do with a bar of soap and a hot bath; that's really the pinnacle of indulgent care to him, but he knows you love the various face masks and lotions. He is highly amused by cucumber slices on his eyes but hates cucumber water (any infusion really, just drink some juice ffs). La Croix is better used to get blood out of this clothes than to drink. He thinks it's nasty.

Like Jake, Mace will dissect what ingredients will actually be beneficial and which products are just snake oil. He takes pride in helping you choose the best things to use or spend your time on. Mace is, unfortunately, the most practical man, and he will flat out refuse to indulge you if he has something else he needs to focus on.

Steve is a bit strange about this one. He love, love, loves for you to pamper yourself, but he will participate very reluctantly. He grew up being fawned over like a delicate doll, received treatment after treatment--often to no effect,--and even resorted to some of those far-fetched, home remedies for various ailments. Yes, his mom was a nurse and a woman of science. Yes, he did follow doctors' advice whenever they offered a useful solution. But also, yes, he was so sick with so many things for so long that he tried everything.

Steve associates a lot of self-care 'treatments' with being ill...which he is not...not anymore. Please, do not get him started on essential oils. You think he lectures as Cap? Hoo boy...

Begrudgingly Is A Daughter's Palette

Jimmy Dobyne, Ari Levinson, and Bucky Barnes

For Jimmy, there's just some stuff you do for your kids simply because they're your kids, and playing with makeup or face mask, nail polish or hair clips, and even every product around the rim of the tub is one of those things.

Ari and Bucky get roped into plaiting practice since they have some length of hair to braid, but these two do not sit still well. They each find sneaky ways to let their girls enjoy spa stuff while they do not have to. Your daughter can get a little manicure while he gets a haircut or shave. That's about the extent of their 'enjoyment.'

As for why they won't participate with you specifically? Jimmy, Ari, and Bucky all consider spa/self-care to be a thing you should do with your girl friends (or your daughters, hint hint). These three place a heavy value on you keeping up those fun relationships with others. They also know that when the ladies do a spa day, the men folk are free to meet up for something else, like sports or drinking or both.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would' Ask List; Ko-Fi]

[assumptionprime]

I stayed up to 2am to beat Radiant Dawn

What a great game, easily my favorite Fire Emblem, and also the best one.

Positives

Best written FE story, by a lot. It helps that PoR gets to lay a lot of the groundwork, which RD gets to develop and then pay off. It pulls off the idea of fighting against fate and gods for those you care about without turning to the camera every 5 lines to say "Our bonds give us strength!" (looking at you, Awakening).

The worldbuilding and history of Tellius as a setting feels lived in and builds its themes and characters in a way that feels natural. Instead of stuff like "This country is the peaceful good guys and this one is the strong guys who love battle" you have "These neighboring countries are both rebuilding after a terrible war, one fighting for independence from a harsh post-war occupation, the other lead by a well-meaning but inexperienced queen who wishes for peace but lacks the power to control the wealthy nobles. Both peoples still hold bitter resentment over those lost in the war."

Great cast. I wish RD had full supports, but what's there in the story and base conversations is just great. They aren't all winners (Looking at you, most of the Dawn Brigade) but usually when a character sucks, it's because they were successfully written to be someone who sucks (looking at you, Makalov) (My faves are Nephenee, Heather, Titania, Nailah, Ike, Soren)

Nice visual style. Restrained. Recent FE games have gotten really over the top with their character designs (Looking at you, Fates and Engage)

A nice, tight progression. It gets hard at points without ever feeling like total bullshit. When someone died and I had to restart, it was usually my fault. I could certainly make units strong, but they never felt game-breaking or invincible. Even Haar and Nephenee could die if I got cocky. In other games, being able to grind extra side maps is useful for supports or raising fresh units to be on par with your core team, but RD doesn't have traditional support conversations to unlock, and the Bonus Experience system lets you level new recruits easily enough. Moving from one chapter to the next keeps the game moving, and maintains a good difficulty curve.

Negatives:

Hoo boy some of the units are hot garbage. I like Meg and Fiona, but they are basically unusable a chapter or two after their introduction.

The voice acting in the cutscenes is real bad. Thankfully this is a tiny fraction of the dialogue in the game, but oof.

Who designed the bridge map? I just wanna talk.

I accidentally recruited Oliver, and therefore did not get to kill him. "Would you mind rejoining the enemy?"

[mochacoffeeumai26]

•Mini Mirage• (Part 2)

Mirage X female human child reader

Summary: Just a regular day with your, dad Mirage, but this time, you make a new friend.

"Stop that kid!! Thief!! Thief!!!"

You heard the store owner yell after you as you ran. This was nothing new, since you basically had no money or anything, you had to steal. Did you feel guilty about it? No, not really.

If you were gonna be honest, it was pretty fun. Especially the car chases, those were rare but still fun.

For a second, you thought you were gonna get caught cause your backpack was heavier than usual.

You grinned when you heard the sound of a car horn, it was Mirage, he was in his alt form. He opened the door and you jumped in.

"Go, go, go!! Go, dad, go!!" You laughed and closed the door. Mirage immediately drove off.

"Damn, kiddo! You almost got caught this time!" You heard Mirage over the radio.

"But it was fun! And you know it," You smiled.

"Can't argue with that, [Name]. Whatcha get this time?"

You pulled out all your favourite snacks from your backpack.

Your smiled faded when you heard a siren and saw red and blue flashing lights behind you.

"Hang on, mini me. Looks like we're gonna have another fun car chase," Mirage spoke.

Currently, you were sitting in the back seat of Mirage's alt form. You had managed to lose the cops a few minutes ago.

For now, you both were in a parking lot.

You rubbed your eyes and yawned, it was already past the time you normally slept.

"You sleepy, kiddo? You know you don't have to stay up," Mirage chuckled.

"Thanks, dad. Thought you'd never say that." You mumbled as you lied down.

You almost immediately fell asleep.

You expected to wake up at the warehouse, but this time, that wasn't the case.

Instead, you woke up to the sound of a male screaming.

What was happening...?

You sat up and looked at the front seat, you saw someone was occupying it. You also noticed that you were being chased by the police, again.

"What the...?" You rubbed your eyes.

"Aaaaah!!! Wha- who are you?!" The man looked at you in confusion he looked so scared-

"Good question. But, who are you? This is my car."

"What?!- Oh my God!!"

The male got cut off when the cop car bumped the back of the car and the car was now going backwards.

"Can you not scream so much? You're gonna damage my ears, dude. What's your name? I'm [Name]." You smiled a little bit

"Uh- Noah. Wha- How are you so calm about this, kid?!" Noah yelled, for a second he completely forgot about the car chase as he looked at you.

Why was there a kid in the car?! Why was she so calm?! How did he not notice her before?!

"This is an emergency. Can you hear me, Mirage? Roll out!" You heard Optimus' voice over the radio.

"Mir- what?" Noah looked at the radio in confusion. You tapped his shoulder and pointed around.

"Oh. Mirage..."

You jumped out of the car while Noah in the other hand was throw out of of Mirage's alt form.

"Whoo-hoo-hoo! That felt good!" You grinned hearing Mirage's voice.

Noah looked shocked and confused as he stared at Mirage.

"Damn! I've been cooped up forever, dude. I can't tell you how boring it gets."

Noah turned his attention to you, you seemed pretty calm, if anything happy even. The male looked back at Mirage.

"But that was fun, man. You're fun, dude." Mirage looked down at Noah.

The human was quick to get up on his feet and pick up a metal pipe. "Back up!"

You snickered, you know that even if he tried, Noah couldn't really do any damage to your dad.

"Woah- woah, woah, woah. What's with the aggression? I thought after the car chase we were boys. What, are you gonna hit me?"

"...Maybe."

You rolled your eyes before going into your backpack and taking out a bag of chips. You were too hungry to really pay attention to the conversation.

All you know was that you and Mirage had definately made a new friend.

(unedited and rushed. Sorry-)

[dorkus-mcdingus]

Rewatching Pinocchio because I'm on a massive Fellow Honest high rn and the Playful Land event's not helping rn but it made me wonder something.

Fellow and Gidel are no stranger to petty crimes but do you think this stint with this world's version of the Coachman is the lowest he's stooped in his mind?

Personally, I can see them meeting in a really crappy looking tavern (possibly somewhere in the Shaftlands). The Coachman offers Fellow some cigars and some beer while Gidel got himself some hot cider to warm himself up.

"And those dummies fell for it! HAHAHA! HOOK LINE AND SINKER! HOO HOO HAHAHA! And they still think they got a magestone that one of the Great Seven used! And did those wealthy pricks pay? Plenty!"

'plop'

The amount of Thaumarks was impressive indeed but still a rather pitiful wage. Despite that, the Coachman listened to the fox beastman's stories of his travels and various schemes, all while blowing a few smoke rings from his pipe with nonchalance.

"Now then, what's your proposition?" Fellow asked as he blew a few puffs of smoke from his cigar.

"Well, how would you blokes like to make some real money?"

The amount of Thaumarks in the case he brought certainly got the attention of the swindlers. That's probably more money than they've seen in a lifetime and could only dream of having!

"You see, I'm collecting stupid little scholars." The Coachman whispered. "The disobedient ones that play hooky from school or work. And you see..."

From there, he carefully whispered the plan to the two beastmen. Get the giant boat built and have it working complete with theme park rides, games, and all sorts of delicious treats. Once that was complete, Fellow and Gidel were to wrangle as many stupid suckers as they could,

"And you takes 'em to Playful Land."

"Ah, Playful Land. PLAYFUL LAND?! BUT THE LAW! SUPPOSE THEY..!"

But the Coachman soothed the fox's worries with the oh so infamous quote,

"No, no. There's no risk!

"

Seeing that sinister smile coupled with that maniacal laugh was like staring the devil in his face and it was no shocker that both he and Gidel were scared senseless. Yes, this sort of mission would make them so much money and they could finally have enough for new clothes on their backs and something to eat, but something like this just felt wrong. True, his main concern was the authorities being on their backs but maybe Fellow would try and justify it in his mind saying to himself,

"Those privileged brats should pay for taking their education for granted when we weren't so lucky."

"It's what they deserve for looking down on people like us!"

"If I was able to afford it back then, I would be at the level they are and more!"

Even though he subjected himself to being a puppet for the elite running this ring, it quelled his shaking conscience the more he tried to justify it. After all, those ungrateful brats deserve a harsh lesson after all the humiliation he endured and the misfortune he was dealt with in his life.

However, his biggest worry concerned Gidel. Even though that kid partook in petty crimes and schemes with him, deep down, he knew that Gidel was a kind soul and didn't deserve to be pulled deeper into the darkness where he resides.

But, in order to have a decent meal and some new clothes, he had to suck up his pride and take it. If they don't like it, they can just pack up and go. That's how they always lived after all.

However... Seeing that demonic smile and Gidel shaking in his arms as they held each other after hearing the Coachman's plan, it was enough to give him nightmares that night and scar him for life.

"Give a bad boy enough rope and he'll soon make a jackass of himself."

[hiemaldesirae]

AU where *Vox* is the one who disappears for 7 years, and ALL of Hell suffers for it. The remaining 2 Vees end up with their souls contracted to Alastor, Carmilla and Zestial have to become allies and join forces-most overlords do by the time Vox comes back there ARE no solo Overlords left, except technically Rosie and Alastor but even they are 'allies' in the loosest sense. Everyone else is paired up and it all because of the madness of Radio Demon at the disappearance of his muse. He's shacked up inside of The Vees Tower, taking over Vox's floor as his own, adding a radio tower to the side of it.

And then, 7 years after his disappearance, Vox reappears and joins Charlie Morningstar at her hotel for rehabilitation of sinners of all things, with Angel Dust as her first client, and--

The very foundations of Hell shake.

OHHH this one is fun. yesyesyes im so onboard with this one!!! i think about swap aus very fondly no matter how many times i see premises where vox and al get their storylines swapped ill ALWAYS eat it up.

okay so i do have some questions i want to get over with first. did al and vox breakup before the whole. (waves hands) seven year leave thing. like did they fight before he left because that brings a wholly different dynamic to the table rather than 'oh vox just disappeared one day', which in fairness i can see driving alastor crazy in a much different way, but also if they'd fought beforehand and alastor had expected to see vox back with the vees the day after or something, only to find him missing with no one aware of where he was... hoo boy. and also- does alastor take over the entertainment district here? like, he's got val and velvette as contracted souls, so do they stop running the district because they can no longer hold the respect of those they were once under and just do menial tasks under al's servitude, or is there a completely different dynamic here that ive passed over?

anyway with that over with... (bashes my head into the wall) YES I NEED THIS. ohmuy god. the aus where vox is sponsoring the hazbin hotel because of a deal he made with lucifer or something have been haunting my head for weeks upon end and i cant help but imagine something similar here- i can just imagine how pissed alastor would be to learn of the fact that vox was back and didnt even think to go and SHOW HIMSELF to him first??? vox was HIS. his muse, his rival, his stupid, stupid picture box- and he went off to make a deal with that bright-faced, stupid little princess of hell? instead of going back to alastor? no, no, no, that cant do, absolutely not, VALENTINO, you have to get your oblivious little employee under control before i rip out both your throats-- anyway. i imagine al probably hates intearcting with either of the vees but he does to make sure theyre not dead or trying to kill him (its all for voxs sake. he wouldn't be glad to return and find his friends slaughtered, after all.)

sorry i dont really have any other thoughts to addonto this (theres a reason why i havent written/drawn a swap au with them and its because ive no idea how the story would change given all the different nuances that we dont yet know... so. yeah) except maybe that alastor would probably be pissed as hell at the attention vox gets when he returns- because he was a celebrity figure before he was gone, too, and his return is like the equivalent to a comeback on princess diana's revenge dress level. instead of being pissed that other sinners are paying attention to vox in a 'they should be looking at me' kind of way though he's more pissed in a 'no one should look at him except for me' kind of way which really weirds charlie vaggie and angel out who are kinda just going like... 'are you sure about that guy man' and vox just shrugs like 'well last time i was face to face with him we had a really bitter breakup fight so idek if hes sure about me tbh'

[ingravinoveritas]

UMMMM DOCTOR AGREEING WITH DONNA SAYING ISSAC NEWTON WAS HOT?!!!!!!! AND THEN WHEN HE ASKS IF HE DOES THINGS LIKE THAT DONNA WAS SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT HIS SEXUALITY ALWAYS BEING ON THE SURFACE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoo, boy. Well, I just watched the second of the DW 60th anniversary specials ("Wild Blue Yonder"), and let me say...that was fucking awesome. As I've mentioned previously, I am a very casual Doctor Who viewer, but this felt so much tighter and stronger than "Star Beast" by several orders of measure. I know everyone talks about DW being owned by Disney now and how that has affected the budget, but this episode more than proved that you do not need fancy special effects or over-the-top action sequences when you have two actors who can just do what David and Catherine did.

I've only seen a few other DW eps, but I was amazed at how creepy this was, and having it be so intensely character-driven--that is, having the antagonists be copies of the Doctor and Donna and allowing David and Catherine to create two completely different other characters so that it felt like there actually were four different people on screen--was sheer genius. Absolutely brilliant and hilarious but also wildly unnerving at the same time.

Which then brings me to the moment you mentioned, which is thoroughly delicious on its own:

Right off the bat, what surprised me is how very not surprising this is, at least to anyone paying attention. We know the Doctor is an alien who transcends time and space, so there is no reason to think that he/she/they wouldn't also transcend sexuality. And again, not having seen as many episodes of other incarnations (Nine, Eleven, etc.), I have always seen Ten as being bi or pan, without any question. There was something about Fourteen saying this, however, that felt very akin to 57 academics punching the air, and I am just beyond thrilled that this made it into the show.

What's also been interesting to me is seeing the negative response to this development on Twitter, and the subsequent pushback to said response. I've seen a lot of folks saying the Doctor can't possibly be gay (nevermind that being into men doesn't necessarily make the Doctor gay, since bi/pansexuality is A Thing That Exists) because of Rose, and then other folks responding with examples from Ten's era showing all the ways in which Ten is not/has never been 100% straight. But as easy it is for these pushback people to see this as a possibility for fictional characters, they seem to have a very difficult time seeing that same possibility in real people.

To wit: I saw a tweet yesterday from someone who thought that Russell T. Davies was straight--much to my disbelief--and a subsequent reply on that tweet from another person who thought he was married to Julie Gardner. And sure, I'll grant you that not everyone is interested in the personal life of a DW showrunner/writer...but we are talking about the man who wrote the UK version of Queer As Folk, and gave the world Captain Jack Harkness, for crying out loud. The same man who made David/Ten look and act like the biggest bottom ever to bottom and earned the moniker "Russell T. Daddy" for a reason. Yet the grip of compulsory heterosexuality is so strong that all of these things (as well as the fact that he had an actual husband, who sadly passed away a few years ago) ceased to matter.

But...it also suddenly makes sense why so many people are oblivious to the fact that David (and Michael) are most likely not 100% straight.

If we are going to say that the Doctor is not necessarily automatically straight because of having previously dalliances with women, then it makes sense to say that David is not necessarily automatically straight for the same reason. I've talked previously on my blog about how assuming straightness when someone hasn't come out as straight or because someone is in a straight-passing relationship is a problem, and that people don't need to label themselves specifically to be who they are. Yet as willing as so many fans are to let fictional characters step outside of that confining box, those fans are equally willing to push the actors right back into it.

I still see people calling David a "straight man" when that very well might not be the case. When this year in particular, David has been more vocal than ever before about numerous facets of queerness in a multitude of forms (wearing badges, gay pride boots, t-shirts, etc). I've talked about how the clothes David wears seem to be reflecting who he really is more and more, and thinking about the roles he's played this year--Crowley, Fourteen--I see a similar pattern. And I keep thinking about that little boy in Paisley who was afraid to ask for a DW Leelah doll because he didn't want to be a "sissy." I keep thinking of David likely being told that his career would be destroyed if he was anything other than publicly straight, and especially while playing a beloved character like the Doctor.

For him to come back as the Doctor now--in the midst of a deeply charged period in history, with homophobia and transphobia spiking dramatically in the UK--and to mention finding another man hot in the most completely casual way is nothing short of astounding. And what better vehicle to potentially guide David toward opening up about himself than something he has loved for so long? What better show to serve as a lighted pathway, of sorts? Nothing Russell writes is not deliberate. Nothing being done in these specials is not deliberate. And if 900 years isn't too old to discover or become more open about a part of yourself, then why should 52 be?

So yes, those are my thoughts on this new DW 60th anniversary special, and this particular moment with Fourteen (Ten-Four) and Donna. It really does feel as though this is all leading toward something, and I am definitely looking forward to seeing the third and final special next weekend...

[peaches2217]

As an early birthday present to myself, I did something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time: got a haircut from one of my sisters! She received her license last year and has been using our dad as a guinea pig for years before that, so it was a long time coming. She was so happy and introduced me to all of her coworkers and it was so much fun getting to see and experience her at work in her field!

As an added bonus, apparently my hair is exactly like our dad’s: way too thick and scattered with random cowlicks that make styling it difficult. Haircuts are always kinda hit-or-miss for me because most stylists just don’t know what to make of those cowlicks, so I always make sure to keep expectations low. But since she’s had experience with the guy responsible for those cowlicks in the first place, she’s officially the first stylist I’ve ever had that actually WORKED WITH THEM.

And hoo boy, this is the nicest-looking cut I’ve had in years!

She wouldn’t let me pay her. I got the Combination First-Timer/Family Member Discount. I intend to sneak a $20 into her mailbox or perhaps her shoe in retaliation.

(Bonus with all three of my cats in one shot, which never happens. 😂)