#and honestly this has been an issue for a while i won’t lie

[sadlazzle]

the worst thing abt the g3 dolls for me personally is gonna b finding the ones that r exclusives. like ik one’s a walmart or target exclusive but like. how do i as a person who has no access to either of those stores get the dolls that r exclusive to there. where r they gonna b available in countries tht don’t hav those stores. it’s a communication issue again. or perhaps lack of communication issue would be a better way to put it

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

I Keep Thinking About a Gale x Ace!Tav x Astarion AU

It makes no damn sense. Compels me though.

Let me be clear, this would be an AU and not a continuation of the “canon” I’ve established with Ace!Tav. It’s just not how I picture their story playing out. All the same, I keep circling back to this in my brain. Call it a thought experiment.

I’m probably not going to write a full fic for it. So, if anybody wants to take this general idea and run with it, feel free. Just give me a shoutout. Or if you guys are curious about this AU drop me an ask and I’ll answer with some rambles.

Speaking of, shoutout to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble to them about it.

Astarion x Ace!Tav Masterlist (for reference)

Cards on the table, none of these people are ready for a poly relationship

Gale is explicitly monogamous and ties sex and romantic love intimately together. Astarion is still dealing with the idea of being enough and just ✨the trauma✨ . Meanwhile Tav has their own abandonment issues and is just waiting for Astarion to get bored and leave. And yet! This disaster trio won’t leave me alone.

So this whole thing gets started when Astarion approaches Tav about wanting to experiment with sex again

He knows Tav isn't interested in sex and doesn't want to make them feel pressured into having it just to please him, so they talk about opening up in the relationship

Tav is hesitant about it, but also doesn't want this to be the reason Astarion leaves and so agrees

They convince themselves that if Astarion wants to have a one night stand, it’s fine; so long as he’s not seeking out his emotional needs with other people then there’s no risk of him wanting to end things; this is, of course, a terrible way to handle it

So, with that hanging over their heads they reconnect with Gale over some quest (maybe getting a magical item to allow Astarion to walk in the sun)

Gale has been teaching and while happy is admittedly still a bit lonely so is grateful to see his friends again

Gale and Tav always had a close relationship, but seeing them again does stir up some of those old feelings he'd let lie because, you know, the Absolute (headcanon here for further details)

Gale internally berates himself for this because he 1) knows Tav is ace and therefor not interested in a sexual relationship which is something he prioritizes when it comes to romance and 2) Tav is clearly still in a loving relationship with Astarion, so he's not going to be the asshole to get in the middle of all that

He tells himself it’s just the loneliness talking and pushes that shit down

So, he starts getting closer to Astarion who, while still a bit of a rogue, has mellowed a bit and worked on some of his more selfish instincts

Honestly, having the opportunity to see how much Astarion is devoted to Tav increases his opinion of the man

He and Astarion’s relationship is still antagonistic, but much more playful than before

This culminated in a moment when Astarion and Tav are checking in on each other after a trap goes off

Astarion pulls them close a moment kissing Tav on the temple once it’s clear they’re fine

Gale watches this interaction, his stomach twisting with familiar jealousy, but pauses as his mind screeches to a halt realizing “wait, am I jealous of Astarion or Tav?"

Meanwhile Astarion is a bit surprised at Gale being more friendly with him, but he can't say he's complaining. He knows Tav missed him, and while he had his own jealousies early in the relationship, he's since moved passed it. Gale was the one to help him ultimately get together with Tav after all.

He makes more of an effort to get to know the wizard one on one and finds himself looking more and more

There is something oddly endearing when he rambles

Gods he really is a powerful wizard (connotation: scared and horny)

Did his robes always show off his chest hair like that

He really does make Tav happy

Until one morning he's laying in bed and snaps up enraged with himself like, "GALE?! OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU CAN FEEL COMPELLED TO FUCK. FUCKING GALE?!?!?!?!"

Full existential crisis

Yes, they said opening the relationship, but he knows how nervous Tav feels about it. They’ve told him about their past relationships and how so many of them fell apart when the topic of sex came up

But he also knows he can’t do a one night stand; he needs to trust the person he’s having sex with, he wants it to mean something

He knows Gale and he knows it would mean something with him

He also knows Gale’s opinion on monogamy; would he force him to choose between him and Tav? Would Gale even want to be with him? Astarion knows Gale used to feel deeply for Tav

And what if it ends badly? Gale is Tav’s friend, his friend. Fuck, this can’t be happening

Meanwhile Tav is reconnecting with Gale and is like, “Gods I did miss him…oh wait I like *missed* him, missed him”. But pushes that shit down because, again, in a very loving relationship with Astarion which they won’t risk for anything and 2) Gale has made it clear that sex is something he values in a relationship as a form of intimacy.

They knew they couldn’t give him that then and they can’t now

Tav is also starting to notice how Astarion is looking at Gale

They’re much more in tune with his emotions and can see he’s interested

Tav starts to feel jealous and then feels guilty for doing so because they said opening the relationship was fine

Gale is wonderful. They know he’d treat Astarion the way he deserves. They could hardly blame Astarion for ultimately choosing him

They knew deep down they were just a stepping stone on Astarion’s road to recovery. If he can be with someone who can give him so much love and sex, why would he need them?

It also doesn’t help that as they start noticing Astarion looking at Gale, they see Gale looking right back

They do feel deeply for Gale, but know his thoughts on monogamy

Besides, they turned him down before, they can’t expect Gale to have held onto those feelings

So they start to slowly distance themselves from both men, resolving that if Astarion approaches them about it, they’re not going to stand in his way.

This course of action causes all of them to start driving themselves crazy in their own heads

Astarion is scrambling because they can sense Tav pulling away and is desperate to figure out what’s wrong, but Tav won’t tell them anything

Gale can see it too and so is pushing down all of his emotions because “Tav I know you love Astarion and Astarion loves you, so what’s going on”

Tav can’t confide in him either so they just don’t say anything

This leaves Astarion and Gale to start confiding in each other more because what’s going on?

Finally Astarion spills everything to Gale, he and Tav opening their relationship, his fears about them leaving, and becuase he’s got a good idea why they’re pulling away

Gale is admittedly a bit obtuse about it which prompts Astarion to grab him by the front of the robes and start kissing him

Gale respond enthusiastically and the two of them start making out. But before it goes any further their brains catch up with them and they stop, both knowing that they need to talk to Tav

So they approach Tav and Tav’s like, “yeah, it’s fine, can’t say I’m surprised, neither of you are exactly subtle. It’s fine. I’ll take this as my queue to go then.”

Astarion then jumps in like, “wait, no, who said anything about leaving”.

Tav tries to convince him that it’s fine, that they’re happy for him, really. They can’t begrudge him for wanting more and he shouldn’t feel compelled to stay with them.

Astarion’s brain is reeling from this because are you actually kidding me? Please say you’re joking and don’t actually believe that.

He then takes their face in his hands and tells them he’s not going to stop loving them just because he wants to have sex again and if there is one lesson they’ve taught him is that he has more love in him that he ever thought possible. He’s got plenty to spare.

Gale meanwhile has been watching Astarion and Tav’s relationship for some time and has come to understand you can separate sex and romantic love

He then steps in saying, “yes, I am interested is pursuing something more with Astarion, but also with you. Honestly out of the two of you, I’ve loved you for much longer”.

Tav would still need time to accept the idea that they’re not the third wheel. Gale would need to work out how to put that sometimes obsessive love into two people and Astarion still has his trauma, but they’d all have each other to work it all out once they get everything out into the open.

[geekforhorror]

catharsis

pairing: rots!anakin x fem!reader

warning(s): body image issues, fluff, praise, pet names (sweetheart, darling, etc), make out session

Anakin didn’t know what was going on with his girlfriend and it was starting to worry him profusely. They had been dating for 6 months now and they shared everything together. Both of them had seen the other at their lowest, comforted each other, and most importantly; loved each other. That’s why Anakin was concerned about her wellbeing.

It started off with the littlest things, just enough for him to notice. At times, she insisted on changing in the bathroom after finishing her shower, which made sense because it was an occurrence in the beginning of their relationship and he thought that maybe she wasn’t ready to change in front of him, which he totally understood. However, even six months in, she still had this habit and he noticed she had picked up several more. If her shirt rode up just the tiniest bit, she would immediately pull it down and pray that Anakin wouldn’t notice. Or the times when he placed his hands on her hips, her face was in a panicked sort of state and told him she wasn’t comfortable with it. It wasn’t a total lie, but just not for the reasons Anakin was expecting. They never even had sex because every time he lovingly slipped his hands beneath her shirt, she would always grab it and pull it away from her flesh, which he also understood. She hated keeping this a secret from the love of her life because she knew he would never keep a secret from her.

It’s not like she enjoyed constantly lying to him and his pretty face. She wanted to tell him what was bothering her more than anything, but she was ashamed of letting the words slip out, but she was mostly afraid of what he would think of her if she told him the truth.

But right now, she was sitting on his bed with him and watching a holodrama. She loved being in his quarters because it made her feel safe and cared for. She loved the personality of his room as well. While the flick was playing, Anakin placed his head on her shoulder and wrapped his right arm around her waist. Suddenly, her breath became hitched and her diaphragm tightened because of the contact. He noticed the signs all too well and he had to say something. Anything. Anything to help her. He paused the film and finally decided to speak.

“Baby what’s wrong?” he asks sounding concerned.

“It’s nothing,” she responded skeptically, but inside she was terrified. Terrified of the thought that he may have finally caught on.

“I love you sweetheart and you know you can tell me anything, right?” he assured her in a soothing voice. Tears were threatening to spill from her glossy eyes and she didn’t want Anakin seeing her like this. Like she was weak, fragile.

“Please don’t cry sweetheart. Tell me what’s bothering you. I won’t judge you,” he says softly as he runs his fingers through her hair.

“You’re going to think it’s stupid… that I’m stupid.” she sputtered.

“Nonsense. I would never and I mean, never think that about you because you’re anything but stupid,” he assures her. And he meant every word he said.

“How do you know that?!” she exclaimed.

“Because I love you more than anything. Do you honestly think I’d be here right now if I didn’t love you?”

The room suddenly became quiet yet the silence was so loud to the point where one of you want to break the silence, but didn’t know how to.

“I wanna help you baby. I really do,” Anakin said to his girlfriend.

She let out a rather shallow breath and Anakin noticed this too. It was time to tell him everything. To tell him what was making her so self conscious all the time. Maybe it would set her free.

“Alright Ani, but promise me you won’t think of me differently when I tell you,”

“I promise baby,” he said in the most soothing voice in order to calm her down.

“The reason why I’m distant sometimes has nothing to do with you. it has something to do with one of my biggest insecurities,“ she said. She could already feel her voice start to croak. Maybe she couldn’t go through with telling him this. It was too much for her alone, so how could she be sure Anakin would be fine with finding this out? She already began talking about it, so there was no going back now.

“I have a really ugly birthmark on my back and it’s affected my self-esteem for as long as I could remember,“ she lets out, tears spilling from her beautiful eyes.

“A birthmark sweetheart?” he asks.

“Yes, but it’s not a normal birthmark Ani. It’s so disgusting and it makes me feel disgusting,” she sobs.

He wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to comfort her, but she continues to cry into his shoulder. He didn’t know a birthmark was the root of all of her self-esteem issues, but it hurt him to see her so hurt over this.

“It’s ok baby. I’ve got you.”

“That’s why I never let you see what I look like underneath all of my clothes. Because I’m afraid you won’t love me anymore,” she rambled in a shaky voice. He had never seen her like this and he never wanted to.

“I would never stop loving you, especially over something like that,” Anakin reassured her. “Show me the birthmark,” he said, in non-demanding way, more of a suggestion.

“I wish I could Anakin,” she says in a gloomy voice.

“I can’t imagine a pretty girl like you hating yourself over something like that,” he admitted truthfully.

“That’s because you haven’t seen it yet.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I shouldn’t have said that to you.” he says in an attempt to apologize to his girlfriend.

“You don’t have to apologize. You were just telling me what you thought.

“You are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen sweetheart." he says before kissing her multiple times on the lips.

Despite his words of encouragement, she had this feeling in her stomach and it made her feel uneasy. She let out a shallow breath before speaking next.

“Do you want to see it?” she asked him.

“Only if you feel comfortable enough with it. I won’t force you if you don’t want to,” he says.

“Ok I will,” she says.

Here goes nothing.

She lifted just enough of her shirt to expose the birthmark that was indented on her right side of her back and takes a deep breath once more. She was scared to be so exposed and now thought that he might think of her differently.

“It’s on this side,” she said, pointing her fingers in the right direction so that he could find it easily. He takes a long look at the birthmark in awe and is speechless. Many seconds pass by with dead silence, which makes her even more anxious.

“Say something. Anything,” she begs of him.

“You look so pretty. It’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of,” he coos.

“You really mean it Ani?” she asked.

“Do you even have to ask? Look at yourself, sweetheart,” he says out of genuine love. She knew he wasn’t trying to just make her feel better but how did she? His eyes. His eyes were filled with the utmost love and adoration. For her. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen and no birthmark will ever change that,”

“I love you baby,” she lets out.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he says before kissing the mark on her skin.

She needed that.

“Come here,” he says, motioning his hands in an attempt to get her to come closer.

She happily obliges and scoots closer to him on the bed. Anakin wraps his arm around her and rubs her back with his calloused fingers as she rests her head on his shoulder. It felt like the world had stopped and it was only the two of them together, side by side.

[birdbrainedboy]

I’m obsessed with this show and fear a hyperfixation anyways here are my thoughts on every character in the show

Edwin Paine: forever my favorite, even back before the show when I read the comics! I think it’s funny that basically every man in the show wants him? I’m intrigued by his character arc throughout the story regarding his sexuality as despite dying in 1916, he seems to have had time to slowly become more accepting of gay people (I’m guessing in part due to Charles, who is pansexual), to the point where there’s only mild internalized homophobia if at all, which just exhibits itself in him denying any possible feelings for Monty. I love how face-value and logical he is while still being a sweetheart

Charles Rowland: he has a pan flag pin on his jacket which confuses me bc can ghosts only wear clothes they would’ve worn when they were alive, or how do ghost clothes work? Because he died in 1989 and I’m near positive he didn’t wear that pin back there. Anyways I do love him but I wonder about some design choices, like the one earring (not sure why it just kinda annoys me). That was more a rant abt his design than his character, which I have nothing notable to say abt since I LOVE HIM he’s so real

Crystal Palace: sometimes she was a bit annoying the way she was trying way too hard to pry into everyone’s lives, but honestly that was just momentary annoyance since nothing could make me hate her. I love how her past was slowly revealed (as someone who already knew it from the comics) and how she came to terms with the person she used to be vs the person she is now. She’s so cool!

David the demon: honestly kind of caught me off guard at first bc the person I’m dating is named David but I actually enjoyed his character. LOVED when Crystal dealt with him in the end. He was very interesting

Niko Sasaki: I love Niko, but I have some problems with her character. First of all, I feel like ditsy anime-loving cutesy Asian girl with dyed hair is a weirdly common trope? But whatever my main issue is that it feels like characters who normalize the fetishization of gay men are so common. Like if Niko had been a guy obsessed with lesbian manga evb would be weirded out, so why is it different? If we ignore all of this tho I absolutely adore her and I’m actually praying she’s in the next season bc she was one of my favorites (esp her relationship w Edwin)

Jenny: She is so hot and cool and funny I’m in love with her

Esther: oh my god words cannot come close to describing how much I love her character. She felt powerless and weak in the past and now she’s become obsessed with making sure nobody has that power over her ever again. She was so fun and I loved her attitude! I’m sure she won’t show up next season, as she was the main antagonist of s1, and while I love her, I kind of hope she doesn’t since I think her arc was finished.

Monty: His personality was like 2020 “soft boy” who acts nice and dumb but is lowkey a manipulator. So obviously this kind of made me like ☠️ bc why is he acting like that… but I still love him to bits because he’s just a crow guys he didn’t ask to be human,, Anyways yeah his personality annoys me but also I love him so much so? It’s confusing. ITS COMPLICATED. I will cry if he’s not in s2

Kingham and Litty: I honestly thought they were annoying but I can’t lie they were so fucking funny. Every time they were on screen I laughed.

Cat King: oh my god. He is so camp. I love him. There’s honestly not much to say he is simply iconic. Love how he’s afraid to be alone so chases after other people, he’s so real AGHH I love him

Night Nurse: Ruth Connell the woman you are… 😍 she reminds me of Muriel from Good Omens, in a way, and I love her! I really hope we get to see more of her in relation to the guy in the fish, and see her get to better understand human emotions and why they choose to cling onto the human world rather than pass on!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for snapping at my brother for taking his iPad to the bathroom? (I don’t think this is unsanitary despite the subject matter but idk)

Sorry for the long post !

Context: There are three bathrooms in our house. One downstairs, one upstairs and one ensuit in our parents room that neither of us use. He is mid to early teens and autistic, I am late teens and (as much as I know) neurotypical. I don’t know if this impacts anything, but i also don’t know much about autism. I don’t *think* it does but mum keeps letting him get away with this because of his diagnosis so it feels important to include.

Everytime he uses the upstairs toilet he brings his iPad with him and his headphones. He sits in there and watches YouTube and it takes him half an hour every time.

I only use the upstairs toilet because the downstairs one grosses me out to the extreme for reasons I don’t want to get into, (I honestly think it’s becoming phobic, I won’t walk past it if the door is open or even breathe if I’m near it,) but this issue is isolated to me and everyone else is fine with it. He is fine with using both. He also knows I only use the upstairs toilet.

He says he gets bored so he has to have his iPad when he goes. Yes, every single time, he gets bored and needs his iPad with him. I find this ridiculous, and ironic. Now instead of taking maybe five minutes he takes half an hour. I ask him again and again and again not to take his iPad in because it’s insensitive to if I might want to use the bathroom, but he doesn’t change.

We have had this same conversation over and over again, like, over twelve or eighteen months, and he keeps promising that he’ll change and then he doesn’t. It makes me upset how content he is to continue even knowing very well how it upsets me.

We had a really big fight about it awhile ago and mum suggested he try not to use the iPad when he thought I wasn’t likely to need to go to the bathroom, because that’s apparently as much as he can bear to do. He said he’ll try to use the downstairs toilet instead and because my dad uses that toilet he’s been getting in trouble with him for the exact same reason.

Sometimes when I knock on the door I’ll ask “do you have your iPad” and he’ll say no but when he comes out he does. He doesn’t have any qualms about lying to me and about breaking the same promise he makes over and over. It’s like he doesn’t care what I think at all and like he doesn’t view my problems as valuable. It’s literally the only thing I ask of him.

AITA: Today, he lied to me again. I knocked on the door and told him to hurry up and he said ok and I asked if he had his iPad in with him and he went strangely quiet and then said I’m coming out. when he came out he didn’t have his iPad so I thanked him because I finally felt he was listening to me, but he was lingering weirdly by the door. I HATE warm toilet seat so I gave it awhile and he went downstairs. He happened to come up while I was about to go in and he looked at me strange and I said “what? Why are you staring at me?” And he said no reason but I pressed it and he said “can I check the bin?”

In the bathroom we have a small bin that just got emptied today. He told me he had taken his iPad in there and had hidden it in the bin. I was peeved he had lied to me again and also that he had no problem with taking my thanks. If I hadn’t caught him trying to get it back he never would have told me.

So I said no and when I was finished I kind of snapped and told him I thought he was becoming a “nasty, selfish person.” It’s the only thing I ask of him and Im so tired of it. I felt especially upset the extent he would lie to me so easily. It seems like nothing gets through to him, and it’s like, I can’t help feeling he is a nasty selfish person!! I probably would have said more and said worse if dad hadn’t caught on to what we were talking about. Upon reflection I feel like I shouldn’t have said those things to him and I was being too harsh.

My brother apologized but I’m so sick of it and even after all this he said he would use the downstairs bathroom. It feels like he’s not making any effort to actually change the behaviour and he’s avoiding confronting it. I’m so tired of all of this.

AITA? I really don’t know what to do, but I feel like I’m being too mean about it.

Tldr: my brother always takes his iPad to the bathroom even though I ask him not to and he takes way too long on the toilet (up to half an hour) each time. This has been going on for months upon months and he’s showing no change even though he keeps apologizing and promising he will. Today, he lied and said he hadn’t and I thanked him because I felt he was finally listening but he had hidden his iPad in the bin. I snapped and said he was a “nasty selfish person” but I think I was being too mean.

What are these acronyms?

[tgarrett26]

This is my response to a request I got a while ago, I honestly lost it when I was working on this a few months ago, but I think this is what was asked for. I hope it gets to who wanted it <3

Anything You Can Do, My Dads Can Do Better

With the paper in my hands, I can’t but notice how they start to shake when the low score on the biology midterm are read into my mind.

These are gonna be on my report card, and no one can let down my parents like I can.

They won’t be that disappointed in you, they never have been.

But they wanted me to do better in school than Papa did..even with his issues that held him back.

“Ms. RB?” I’m questioned

I flit my head up to look at the teacher who’s attentively called my name, well..the nickname some kids came up with do to my hyphenated last name.

“Yes?” I ask

“The bell rang.”

I nod abruptly and grab my things, too rushed to care about putting my paper in my binder or even my binder in my bag. I do throw my arm through the strap and the back over my shoulder onto my back (once I’m out the door).

When I’m in the clear, I bolt right down the hallway out of the school until I’m standing before Tony’s car where Happy is awaiting me with the door open.

“Excited to get home?” I’m asked

“Sure am.”

He checks back on me before getting in his seat and getting us going back to the compound. It feels like it came in no time, but soon enough I’m doing the walk of school shame to my parents.

Papa seems to have been in a meeting for a while, so I look around for Baba. However, I’m jumped into fear by whoever lifts me into the air from behind.

“There’s my girl!” is cheered by the now familiar one-armed man

“You’re lucky I was able to think straight and feel the metal of your left. Otherwise it would have been a kick to something you don’t have encased in metal.” I explain as he lets me down

He spins me around for a hug, something I am able to relax into (slightly) after the reveal of my academic let down.

“Why so tense, Doll?” I’m asked

“What do you mean?”

“You’re almost rigid.”

“Maybe I’m just cold.” I murmur

“You’re enhanced, you’d have to be sick to be cold and you don’t get sick. What’s going on?”

“How do you know these things?”

“Parenting is the only thing my past has come into handy for.” he explains while holding onto me loosely

I nod at this, but he sees my still nervous and harsh form, so he guides me over to a bench in the hallway.

“Hey!! Baby’s home!!” is cheered by Papa’s voice

He runs up on us, lifting me differently than Baba did but excited and joyful nonetheless.

“She’s not feeling well, Steve.” Baba speaks up for me to say

He puts me back on the floor in an instant, not even second guessing about what he should do.

“What’s going on, Honey?” Papa worries

“I was just going to find out.., I think.” Baba responds

Baba and I sit down on the bench, Papa kneeling next to us. I take my schoolbag off and search my binders, looking between them and other pockets since my mind blanked as to where I put my grade card at.

When I find it, I pull it out slowly and hold it in front of me, Papa taking it calmly, pulling it towards himself. When he turns it around, he flickers his gaze between me and his husband of so many years.

“What’s this?” he wonders

“My school grades..”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you were getting those today.” I hear from the elder

“You forget along of things, Bub.” Papa tells him

I facepalm and wait, wait for the judgement and the harassment of how I’ve failed them.

“Wow, Honey.” Papa expresses

Here it comes..

“These are better than most of what your Baba got-and he skipped dates with me to sleep with his books.” he adds

“You’re lying.” I mutter as I shake my head

“I don’t lie, Sweetheart. That’s a universally known truth about me, about our family. We don’t hold back honestly, even if we can.”

He seems to have handed the paper to Baba, letting the academically smarter one of those two read over my school’s judgements of my mental achievements.

“He’s right, Doll. These are better than mine.” my Baba speaks up to say

“You’re not exaggerating?”

“No, he was hiding nothing when he said I skipped quality time with him for temporary time with my studies.”

“Wow.” I let out after he rests his right arm on my shoulders

“These are amazing scores, I promise. With all this Common Core stuff we hear Peter ranting about, you’re doing well handling it along with our work life-not everyone could do that, not everyone can.”

“You’re not disappointed?”

“Doll, why would we be disappointed by B’s? Even in your hardest subjects, you got reasonable markings.” Baba expresses

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Just expected different reactions.” I explain

“Better or worse?”

“Worse. Much worse.”

“How come?” he worries and sets his hand on my knee

“Not used to having a supportive environment.”

“Well, you better get used to it, Baby because we aren’t going anywhere and neither is our care for you.”

This brings such warmth of appreciation to my cheeks, one I hope doesn’t go away.

“Not cold now are ya, Doll?” Baba checks

I swat his knee and lean into his arm, setting my right hand on my father’s while I take in the love my family genuinely has for me.

The Next Morning

Mr. Harrington’s Homeroom

“I can’t believe I got grounded for having b’s on my report card!” Flash expresses very unhappily

I guess he doesn’t have it all..

[spock-smokes-weed]

Sorry I’m not done chirping. I have bad insomnia right now.

I’m honestly so sick of the pearl clutching from liberals right now about people not voting. It comes across as so fucking tone deaf.

Listen, I am pro voting and of the mind it’s much smarter in the long run to vote instead of sitting out. Low voter turn out is how the Republicans can stay in power.

However, I feel like turning up your nose at those who don’t vote doesn’t do anything to actually understand WHY people don’t vote. And it’s usually because the Dems never fucking bring anything to the table and try to coast on being the lesser of two evils. That is honestly such an insulting way to run a campaign.

Especially when it comes to minority voters. A lot of them have spoken to how they feel like their material conditions never improve under either party. Yes they get worse under republicans, but “not making things worse” should never be the standard we set. But that’s the message Dems have been running on since Ronald Regan.

And in regards to the moment we’re in now, I think it’s heartless to be looking down on Muslim and Palestinian Americans for not wanting to vote for Kamala Harris. Sure, Palestine might not be a deal breaker for YOU, but spare a fucking thought to the people who’ve lost whole branches of their family in this genocide. This comes back to what I said before: things would be worse in Gaza under Trump, but you’re delusional to think the Biden administration has handled this well. On the issue of Israel/Palestine, Biden and Trump are the same.

As Genocide Joe’s VP, Kamala Harris absolutely has to answer to the abysmal way the administration has handled this genocide. It’s cowardly for her to stay silent and hope she can toe the line up until Election Day. And the time to call her out isn’t when she gets in the White House, it’s right now while she’s still courting the American people.

There are plenty of people who want to vote for the Harris/Walz ticket and their progressive policies, but the silence on Palestine is an absolute deal breaker. My GOAT Hasan Piker said he would literally door knock for Kamala if she changes her position on Americans unwavering support to Israel. Continuing to stick by Israel is LOSER behavior. It’s another example of Dems scurrying to the right on unpopular issues because they’re spineless cowards who are afraid of making brave political decision. The Dems have nothing to gain from their current position. Literally nothing. 

For the people are going to vote no matter what (like myself) now isn’t the moment to spit and hiss at people for not wanting to vote, now is the moment to stand with the people who feel left behind by democratic policy and DEMAND the democrats do better. And we do that by disrupting the good press Harris is getting right now. Go out and protest and call your representatives!!! Make it clear “I’d love to vote for Harris but I can’t in good conscience until her position on Israel changes” THAT’S IT!!!! Even if that’s a lie!!! It’s okay to lie to politicians!!!! Tell them you won’t vote even if you are!!!! Enough noise will make it impossible for them to ignore it!!! 

The biggest problem with the Democratic Party is that they’ve tried time and time again to chase the success the republicans had, instead of engaging with their own base. We are seeing right now the progressive policies are popular and it’s smart politics to build a base on that. And it’s actually incredibly dumb to adopt right wing positions on issues like immigration and Palestine. Drawing the line in the sand now while the Dems are on a winning streak could do a lot to drag American politics away from the nightmare we’ve been living under since Regan. 

[90s-belladonna]

would it be okay to request Bakugou's reacting to another hero trying to recruit his assistant who he has a crush on? I need a jealous Kacchan

Explosive Disposition: Katsuki Bakugo x Fem!Reader

I apologize in advance if it isn't the best, I still have terrible writer's block but I've got you anon!

word count: 3992

He doesn’t know when it happened but he couldn’t stop thinking about you whenever his mind happened to have a free second away from his hero work. He figured it was just that he found you funny or that he was beginning to appreciate all you did for him. However, deep down he knew that something had shifted as he had always been appreciative of your work since he hated filling out paperwork for the cases he solved, yet you did it for him without a single complaint. No, perhaps it was that he was finally becoming aware of his feelings, feelings that had always been there.

“and then (name) said ‘Dynamight doesn’t answer any stupid questions so before you open your mouths ask yourselves if your question is stupid. If you doubt it even a little do yourself a favor and just keep it moving because it won’t get answered today.’ It was hilarious! The reporters were trembling after that.” Kirishima lets out a chuckle as he recalls the events from that morning’s press conference. Their agency had just solved a huge case involving a criminal organization, and naturally, the media had a lot of questions. However, as Katsuki’s assistant, your main task was to constantly shield him from anything that could set him off to avoid a PR nightmare. 

You honestly didn’t mind the responsibilities that came with the job, you appreciated that Bakugo didn’t feel the need to put on a fake persona for the media just to come off as more likable, and you agreed that a lot of the questions they asked heroes were useless and unimportant. You quickly adapted to working with someone like Bakugo as both of your personalities were very similar, the key difference being that you were a very direct person who could communicate your thoughts and feelings easily and professionally. 

You were fond of Bakugo. Most of the tasks in your old job consisted of helping sleazy businessmen lie to their wives and cover up secret families and affairs, so working for someone as brutally honest as Bakugo was a breath of fresh air. When you finally had enough and decided you didn’t want to waste your degree working for shitty people with even shittier morals you got the email notification that they were accepting applications for administrative positions at a hero agency that was about to open up, and that’s how you ended up working for Dynamight. You quickly adapted to the explosion hero’s even more explosive attitude, and you’d be lying if you said the way he carries himself didn’t amuse you. 

While you could remain cool as a cucumber in stressful situations, Katsuki on the other hand was undoubtedly a hothead. While he likes to think he’s direct and honest with his thoughts, everyone knows that couldn’t be further from the truth. You enjoyed the job though, you got to come off as “Dynamight’s bitchy assistant” which came with a lot of power and respect, and that reputation kept people from approaching Bakugo with any stupid questions or comments knowing they’d have to deal with you and your attitude. You were the number one hero’s shield and everyone who knew Bakugo knew that much was true. Every action you took was meant to advocate for him and keep him in his comfort zone so that any useless interruptions wouldn’t affect his hero work.

“Oi idiot! Enough gossiping with your girlfriend we’re here for my issue!” Bakugo grumbled as he glared at his friend-turned-business partner. “Yeah, Yeah, honestly what can we even do anyway? The dude is untouchable. He’s the commission’s golden boy.” the redhead head argued before taking a bite of his food. “I can tell him off that’s what I can do. Call him out on national television. That’ll show that shitty knockoff.” Bakugo was fuming. He put a lot of work into developing his brand so for some nobody to come and rip it off, that truly pissed him off.

“No. It wouldn’t be a good look for the number one to bash another hero in front of the media like that.” Tsubaki argued, she was the head public relations agent for the agency and had made it a point that both heroes, especially Bakugo, ran everything by her. “WHAT THE HELL THEN? THAT ASSHOLE NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON! OR FIVE!” the blonde yelled causing everyone in the restaurant to look his way, only to quickly look away the second he slammed his hands on the table. “Relax. I have a better option for you. We can always have an anonymous digital team spread info online with enough proof to back it up about how he’s trying to copy you. Reputation is everything for a hero and this will ruin his. The bonus side is it won’t get back to you so it’s a win-win situation.” the raven-haired girl suggested with a smirk.

Bakugo couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “That’s a coward’s way of handling shit.” is all the blonde let out. “Well, then we’re back to square one where you can’t do anything about it. He’s a prodigy and has the hero commission’s full backing. I mean come on it’s obvious they’re trying to have the kid kick you out of your number one spot.” Tsubaki argued, however, the blonde could not be reasoned with. “She’s right bakubro. They’re turning that guy into the general public-friendly version of you. I mean he started off as a wannabe hawks like a year ago, and now he’s changing every aspect of himself to mimic you. This needs to be dealt with quickly and efficiently.” The redhead tried to reason. Bakugo knew the two were right, which only served to piss him off more. 

“This is bullshit.” was all the explosion hero had to say regarding the situation. He hated feeling helpless. It pissed him off. “Hey I know you and (name) are roommates but please don’t let this get back to her. You know she goes into rage mode whenever someone pisses Bakubro off.” Kirishima pleaded with the tall woman sitting next to him. “Don’t worry. I keep client info confidential. Plus (name) isn’t much of a gossip, she doesn’t take her work home. It’s very much out of sight out of mind with that girl. God I love her, she’s so chill!” Tsubaki couldn’t help but gush about her friend, it wasn��t every day that someone so effortlessly cool befriended someone as wild and hyper as her. 

Bakugo couldn’t help but let his mind wander off to you, a small sense of peace passed through him at the thought of you being so protective over him. The truth is he didn’t need anyone to protect him, never had and never would, but he couldn’t lie to himself and say there wasn’t a strange feeling in his body that came with being cared for by someone. Even if it was just your job to do so, it strangely comforted him to know that someone had his back without question or hesitation.

“I don’t know if chill is the word I’d use to describe her, but she’s definitely a joy to have around the office.” Kirishima chuckled as he began to remember all the different times you had gone off on someone for trespassing on Bakugo’s personal space. The blonde can’t help but notice the doe eyes the taller woman gives his friend. “I know I requested the lunch meeting… but why do I feel like I just got tricked into paying for one of your dates.” He asked out loud as he observed the couple scoot closer to one another. “Maybe because you are!” teased the ravenette with a giggle following closely behind. He refused to show it but he was glad his friend had found someone that made him so happy. “Whatever.” he managed to grit out as he rolled his eyes and reached for his drink.

“All jokes aside, we do need to deal with this issue. That dude is just awful.” Kirishima stated, this made the explosive boy’s crimson eyes go wide. “See! Even shitty hair hates him, and he stupidly likes everyone!” Katsuki spoke, a delighted tone in his voice as he felt vindicated in his opinion of the up and coming younger hero. “Well, he certainly makes it hard to be on his side with that fake personality he puts on.” Kirishima explained. “I’ve been saying this shit for the last month, but neither of you idiots ever listen.” the blonde grumbled, only to be shot down by the public relations expert. “yeah well you hate everyone soo…” 

A few days had passed since the meeting with Tsubaki and Kirishima, not much had progressed regarding the issue of his copy cat so he still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong. “You need to relax. It’s your day off. What good will you do the public if you’re always on edge?” Katsuki had been invited to, well more like forced, to attend a beach day with Shoto and Sero. “I’M ALWAYS RELAXED FLAT FACE!” the blonde fumed at his raven-haired friend. “sure you are big guy.” Sero quickly dismissed his friend’s uncontrolled temper knowing there was nothing he could do to diffuse him when angry. “Perhaps you should join us for a swim. Water can be very calming, it might help you forget about what’s causing you grievance.” a tired set of blue and grey eyes met his crimson ones, he always hated how the heterochromatic boy could tell when something was upsetting him.

“I’ll forget about it when bitchass Dynamic is buried six feet under.” he managed to grumble, this caused Shoto to hum in understanding. “I can see why his existence would upset you. Dynamic doesn’t come off as sincere, His energy seems brittle, as if he’s wearing a mask that could fall apart and crumble at any second. I would assume that factor paired with his attempt to mimic your personal fashion style as well as his rapid rise in the hero charts would only upset you more.” Sero watched in awe at how effortlessly the fire and ice hero was able to decipher Bakugo’s thoughts. “Tsk. I worry about you half and half. You’re becoming perceptive in your old age.” The blonde’s comment had Shoto perplexed. “So swimming?” Sero asked again in an attempt to move the conversation along, he was well aware that left to their own devices his two socially awkward friends would just sit there staring at each other in silence. “I’m not getting my hair wet.” “Oh right.” were answered simultaneously.

It had been about twenty minutes since the other two boys had gone out to swim. As much as he hated to admit it Sero was right, Katsuki had managed to relax a bit as he sunbathed and read his most recent favorite book. He had caught a lucky break as not many people recognized him when he was out of costume, his wearing sunglasses certainly helped with that too. It was looking like it was about to be a great day off away from work and all the worries that came with being a pro hero. That’s until his nose caught wind of a familiar sugary strawberry scent, he knew that perfume anywhere. Sure enough, within seconds your friend and you had settled in a spot in front and to the left of the spot Shoto had chosen for his group. The placement was perfect so that Katsuki didn’t have to outright turn just to look your way, and you wouldn’t be able to notice he was even there unless you looked back long enough. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to swim with me? It’ll be fun!” Asked a girl with pink hair, who Katsuki could only assume was your friend. “You’re lucky I agreed to come at all,” you spoke as you pulled a book and a bottle of sunscreen out of your weekender bag. “I’ll be fine, you enjoy yourself okay.” goosebumps covered Katsuki’s arms, a reaction to how sweet your voice was. He watched as your friend walked towards the water as you laid a towel on your chair and began putting on sunscreen. Being vigilant over you was like second nature to him, he didn’t even have to think about what he was doing, he just knew he had to make sure you were safe. After a few minutes, his brain accepted that no one was going to come to harm you, he could accept that you were at least safe enough to where he could go back to focusing on his book. As the minutes passed Katsuki felt himself relax. He didn’t want to assume anything, but something in the back of his mind was telling him his zen state was due to the proximity to you. He could feel his eyelashes fluttering shut and his vision becoming blurry. After such a stressful day he finally felt relaxed. Something about your presence brought him a comfort he’d never experienced before. 

About twenty minutes passed and the blonde hero was suddenly woken up, it was like his mind could sense you were upset. “it’s literally my day off, and I hate when grimy bastards bother me so fuck off.” your tone was not the usual bored tone you used on people you didn’t care for, instead it was a vexing one. This shift in you caused him to look over at who had you so exasperated just for it to be the one asshole who’d had him annoyed all week. “Look all I’m saying is why stay with a barbarian like Dynamight when you could be working for the next number-one hero?” The man said with a dastardly smirk. The blonde had to hold himself back from interrupting the conversation, you weren’t in any immediate danger and he would only prove the copycat right if he were to punch him for offering you a job. “and why the hell would I stop working for the number one hero in the country just to work for a loser like you?” You didn’t expect a response, you were hoping he could read social cues and notice the disgusted look you were giving him. However, you were far too optimistic.

“I’m so glad you asked! First of all, I can double whatever you’re making working for that… guy, and you would get to help build me from the ground up as the greatest hero in the country. Isn’t that far more fulfilling than doing busy work from a terrible boss?” Katsuki hated him. He hated his audacity, he hated his face, he hated the terrible blonde dye job on his hair, he hated his shitty voice, and most of all he hated everything he was offering you. HR will eat me alive if I interrupt him… But I’m dying to punch that bastard.  “Terrible boss? Who told you all that? More importantly how the hell did you track me down? We’ve literally never once spoken but let me make one thing clear. I will never and I mean NEVER choose you over Dynamight as a boss. I rather gouge my eyes out than have to listen to your infuriating voice ever again. This is why Bakugo is the number one. He actually cares about his work instead of running around trying to put on a fake image like you do. He’s the number one hero because he deserves it, he put in the hard work to earn that title. Now leave me the hell alone because I have no interest in working for an idiot like you.” To say he was shocked would be an understatement, it was obvious no one had ever spoken to the hero hopeful like that, and to rub salt into the wound everyone around the area was now snickering at the public rejection. Bakugo was also taken aback, he knew you had his back during working hours but to see you respected him enough to also have his back in your free time, that was a different development entirely.

Embarrassment aside, the up-and-coming hero had a mission to complete. He had to take you away from Bakugo. He had to take everything that made him who he is as a hero. So he resorted to the only option he had left. “Well, how about a date then?” Your face instantly gave away your abhorrence for even the suggestion of a date with such a clown. The younger hero’s audacity had Bakugo seeing red, his blood boiling, and every vein in his body popping through. “ew. stay away from me you damn loser.” you nonchalantly let out as you looked down in an attempt to pick up the book you had been reading which you accidentally dropped when the fake blonde approached you. You thought that was the end of it and that he would walk away soon only to be forced to look back up once more when you heard a loud smack. “WHAT PART OF STAYING AWAY FROM HER DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND IDIOT?!!?”

Your (color) eyes instantly met crimson ones. You didn’t even get enough time to process what was happening as you looked down at Bakugo’s hand only to see it grabbing Dynamic’s wrist. The younger hero couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight, almost as if he had realized he’d committed a great mistake and was trying to play it cool to avoid further embarrassment. “We were just talking. I wanted her attention is all, we were planning a date before you intruded.” “Ew, as if I would ever date someone with a bad dye job and no skincare routine.” you absentmindedly let out.  “You heard her. You weren’t planning shit so fuck off!” the blonde growled as he let the younger man’s wrist go and stood protectively in front of you. Dynamic clicked his tongue and put on yet another irritating smile. “Whatever. We’ll discuss our date later cupcake.” he spoke before dashing away so as to not further piss off Bakugo. “NO. YOU’RE STAYING THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!” The blonde yelled after the obnoxious man while you cringed at the fact that someone had dared to call you cupcake of all things.

You instinctively grabbed Katsuki’s wrist when you noticed his quirk beginning to activate. “He’s gone. It’s okay.” was all you needed to say, your soothing voice mellowing his explosive disposition. The blonde let out a huff before visibly relaxing, you took this as your chance to address him. “You sure take your job seriously huh? Coming to my rescue on your day off and all.” You snickered in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You wouldn’t need saving if you weren’t out finding trouble. Damn brat.” was all the blonde could manage to respond, he was well aware that he was being a dick in an attempt to keep you from noticing the blush beginning to dust his cheeks. “Who would’ve thought Dynamight was such a big softie? Protecting his sweet angel of an assistant from an awful man. The public would swoon!” You teased wanting to see just how far you could push your luck with the explosive boy.

“I’m territorial is all.” His voice was gruff, and he had a stern look in his eyes, almost like he was saying exactly what he was thinking for once. “I don’t like idiots imposing on what I consider mine.” Bakugo’s confession left you perplexed. You didn’t want to assume he meant his words to be interpreted romantically so you opted for attempting to diffuse the situation. “Yeah? I mean I can understand why, what would you do without me? I’m the best, a very efficient assistant if I do say so myself.” You spoke with a giggle, however, your heart betrayed you by acting on its own. The beating was completely out of control, as if it were running a marathon with no end in sight. His crimson eyes searched yours, as if your eyes could tell him what you were thinking or what you were attempting to do. After a few seconds when he felt like he was caught on he finally decided to speak. “Well, you don’t suck.” With that, he decided to walk back to his spot. You watched as he picked up his book and continued to read as if nothing had transpired, as if his words and his gaze hadn’t just set something inside you ablaze.

Two days later you were back at work. Your days off did nothing to help you relax, rather they had your mind in shambles as you thought through every possible scenario that could’ve happened had you responded to Bakugo differently that day at the beach.  It doesn’t matter anymore. I just need to focus on work, I’m probably just imagining things. There’s no way he could… He would never think of me that way.  You had never considered Bakugo as a romantic prospect before, however ever since he protected you, you’d be lying if you said the thought hadn’t crossed your mind. 

”Pro hero Dynamic has just announced his new official colors as orange and black! He also tells his fans to stay on the lookout for a new costume he will debut later this month incorporating his new colors!” The mention of the annoying man from a few days earlier caused you to look at the screen which typically had the news playing all day at the agency. Sure enough, it was a reporter standing next to the fake blonde, he had styled his hair in a spiked manner, which was a big difference compared to the slicked-back style he had at the beach. You couldn’t help but feel disgusted as you watched the man smile on the tv as if he wasn’t a complete and utter sleaze bag. “Ugh. I hate that guy.” Both you and a gruff voice said at the same time.

You turned towards the door only to be met with none other than Dynamight. “You’re very cat-like these days. I didn’t even hear you coming, maybe we should get you a bell.” You joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Try it and you die brat!” He joked back in a crude tone causing you to shrug as you gave him a mischievous smile. Something had shifted ever since your last conversation and you both knew if. It was an unspoken thing. Bakugo felt bare as if the walls he’d spent years building were slowly crumbling. “By the way… you should have the marketing team sue him. He’s clearly trying to profit off of your image. It’s creepy. You should crush his aspirations.” you let out as he began to walk toward his office. His eyes went wide at your comment. “I knew you’d understand… And that you’d have a solution that wasn’t stupid.” His comment had you lifting a brow making you wonder if perhaps he was already aware of the situation.

The pro hero turned your way and examined how your eyes looked at him as if you knew what went on in his soul. “If something or anyone bothers you… tell me. I don’t care how insignificant you think it is, you have to tell me. I’ll come to rescue you. I’ll protect you.” His voice was soft, unlike his usual tone, but he wasn’t asking. It was clearly a command. You weren’t sure how you should respond so you just nodded. Eventually whatever you two had going on would have to be addressed, but for now, the unspoken tension was all either of you could realistically handle. It wasn’t like either of you could read minds, and yet you understood each other perfectly. Both of you also understood the only obstacle keeping you apart was a fear of rejection, on both ends.

☆ Master List

☆ Oneshots

[jackdaniel69nice]

@kaytaygay asked for tokoyami and dark shadow with Kuroiro Shihai headcanons so here you go! I loved doing this because he isn’t someone I have given much thought to before and it was great.

Kuroiro is someone who is familiar with the darkness like tokoyami. He’s the scheming hero, coming up with clever tricks and using sneak attacks to get the upper hand on his enemies. I think eventually they would get along but at first there is a lot of tension between them.

While I don’t think tokoyami would see kuroiro as a rival necessarily because they aren’t that close, he is someone that toko is curious about. There is no backstory for these chunibyos with no explanation for their reasoning to become hero’s so it leaves a lot of leeway on their character. Kuroiro is similar to monama and shinso without being outright antagonistic, he’s still willing to play dirty to win. While I think tokoyami has a high moral standing when it comes to treating people with respect, he won’t hesitate to lie for his own benefits (he is interning under hawks, who is a spy). Kuroiro’s quirk is best suited for support while dark shadow has the brute strength, speed, and flexibility to be one of the most powerful forces in mha (as said by afo himself). It would just be odd for them to be rivals when they are on completely different power levels and focusing on different career paths. Tokoyami admires kuroiro’s dark and scheming ways but is mildly worried about it being used against him, over time spent together trust can be formed and they could have a very strong friendship…in theory.

Dark shadow does not like kuroiro. I have mentioned before that shadow is intimidated by people who hold their weaknesses like light, and in this case the ability to control dark shadow’s body. That loss of autonomy was scary and to make it worse kuroiro used them to HURT fumikage, not cool. Dark Shadow is the equivalent of a hissing cat when near kuroiro, they do NOT want him near them. Still shadow is not completely heartless, if kuroiro puts in special effort to gain their trust they will give it. This would mean promising to never possess their body outside of battle even as a “prank” (which should of been obvious but shadow has trust issues) AND actively doing thing for shadow like spending quality time, doing favors, or giving them gifts. I still don’t think he would be allowed to give them pets tho, simply due to the accidental body merging that could result.

Kuroiro was briefly shown to be a bit jealous of Tokoyami talking to kinoko so there is a bit of tension from his side in that regard. A quick explanation of this has toko quelling his fears and even getting him to talk about how he’s feeling. Tokoyami encourages him to spend more time with her and eventually confess. Honestly tokoyami is just so full of wisdom beyond his years, so many people go to him for advice it’s unreal. This interaction obviously draws them closer and they become real friends.

Once they are friends they share about their interests like all the goth materials they have collected and dark media. Random hc but I think while Fumikage would lean more towards gothic poetry, kuroiro would lean towards art. His quirk is Black, which is a pigment of sorts and I think he would be a painter as a hobby. He would also be able to merge with the dark parts of his paintings so that’s cool. Also he has taxidermy animals (don’t show koda). They go to hot topic for fun hangouts.

As a bonus here is what the MHA Ultra Analysis says about them. While this doesn’t give much insight to Tokoyami’s behavior and feelings towards the other it is interesting to see Kuroiro’s thoughts. I think he sees tokoyami as a familiar soul who can understand him but also holds some jealous and wants to prove himself by challenging him. From a narrative standpoint it is also saying kuroiro’s character is solely made to be a foil to Fumikage, almost his entire character file is talking more about toko than himself. A narrative foil is a character that contrasts from another to highlight their traits. He pushes tokoyami to use his new move Black Fallen Angel and shows Tokoyami’s resourcefulness and resolve to win.

[snailsandpuppy-dogtails]

I Do, Do You?

A Criminal Minds/ Married At First Sight AU Strangers, Penelope Garcia and Luke Alvez are matched on the arranged marriage reality show, Married At First Sight. ~3,500 words, on AO3 Chapter 1 The Interview

“So, Mr. Alvez. Luke,” the production assistant interviewing him says with a little too much familiarity for his liking, “tell us; why have you signed up for this? I mean, surely a good looking, healthy, man like yourself doesn’t have a problem meeting women.”

She leans in placing her hand just above his knee. Luke isn’t sure if this is some kind of test for the last part of the selection process or if she’s actually hitting on him while interviewing him in the final stages where he’ll be matched with the (hopefully) love of his life. Either way he finds it crass and uncomfortable, he’s here for a reason and he’s given zero indication he’d welcome such a touch. He’s also nervous. Nervous because he knows how this looks, how it will look. A guy like himself single and hitting his mid 40s? He wasn’t old, but he was getting there. When people his age are single there’s a reason, and usually it’s not a good one. His wasn’t terribly great either, but it wasn’t the worst.

He responds, painting on one of his bright, winning smiles as he removes her hand, and sits up straighter, lacing his fingers in his lap. A sound comes out that’s like a laugh dying in his throat, then he answers, “Thank you, but, I do. Ah. People have a way of romanticizing things that are often hard on a person…maybe to distract themselves from the reality of it. The life of a soldier, office workers working overtime everyday, long-haul trucking - solitary lifestyles… My jobs have been very time consuming and isolating, and for a long time I romanticized that life. I let them take the place of real connection in most instances, when people didn’t fit in those areas, I let them go…I didn’t try to find a balance. But I’m trying to get better at it. For the last three years I’ve been able to call a place home, it’s the longest stretch of time I’ve been in one city. For most of my adult life I’ve devoted myself to causes I felt were important, but in doing that I sacrificed really fully being in a loving, committed relationship. That is definitely an area I could improve in.” Unbothered by the rejection, she goes on, “You mentioned that your job has been a factor in finding love. Is that still a concern, or do you feel you can dedicate the time needed to form a deep relationship in our eight-week time-frame?”

Luke takes a minute, his eyes close, the tip of his tongue swiping at the seam of his lips, taking to heart the question, considering it. “I won’t lie, it could still be an issue. My job doesn’t have set hours or weekends off, I can be gone for undetermined lengths- but I’m willing to devote time to work-arounds, I’m willing to make things work for the right person.”

“And do you think that’s a fair thing to ask of a stranger?”

“Honestly? No. But I think the right person would understand, and in time, can help me learn to strike that balance.” He’s sure they’ll drop him now.

—-----

“Ms. Garcia, tell us why you signed up for Married at First Sight.”

“Don’t let this exterior fool you- I date. A lot. Love to go out; drinks, karaoke, the whole nine- zero problems finding some Mr. Mr. to join me out on the town. The problem is,” her face scrunches, “and this is gonna sound like, well duh, that’s everyone’s problem, but I’m kind of crap at picking guys. I had a lot of toxic relationships early on after my parents died, control freaks, stalkers, clingers… this one guy I went out with even tried to kill me…shot me after saying goodnight…”

Penelope quiets, frowning before sniffing and looking back up blinking rapidly, cheering. “But he was something else entirely. Now Sam, Sam was good. Sam was sweet. We just don’t work on that level, you know? It was good and all, but there wasn’t that…spark. It wasn’t romantic love if we were really looking at it and… I want romantic love. I can’t trust myself to pick it, so I’m hoping this matching process can. Well, that, and my best friend Derek got married to this gorgeous doctor and I can’t have him trying to set me up on pity dates when we go out to dinner any more. -Oh! But don’t tell Derek I said that! He won’t see this, right? You don’t show these parts?”

The assistant ignores the question and moves on, “We heard you’ve been proposed to before, but turned him down. Mind telling us what happened there?”

She’d been concerned about being upfront with that detail of her past when filling out the form. She went back and forth clicking ‘yes’ and ‘no’ alternately until eventually deciding on just being truthful. They wouldn’t have included it as an option if they were automatically going to exclude her because she’d turned down the proposal, right? If she lied and then someone mentioned it while she was being filmed, production would have a field day. No, it was better to be honest about it.

Except now here they were asking about it.

Dang it.

“I wasn’t at the right place and he wasn’t the right person.” She says it simply, with so much nonchalance even she feels it’s entirely true.

The interviewer, apparently, however, has met this casual indifference before. They look up at her from over their glasses, “But you’re in the right place now?” they ask with some skepticism. Penelope grins wide, Tulip-pink lips stretching “I know I am. The only question is if you can find me the person worth marrying.”

—-Telling Family and Friends—-

~For traditional couples, informing friends and family of upcoming nuptials is a time of celebration, happiness, excitement, and shared joy. For our couples, however, this can be stressful. Situations may need to be handled with care, families aren’t expecting this major life change for their loved one. Brides and grooms can be met with hostility, suspicion, bargaining, hurt feelings, and dismissiveness at choosing an unconventional path to finding love.~

As her family lives out of town, Ms. Garcia has chosen to inform them of the big news over Zoom.

“Carlos! Gideon!” Penelope greets excitedly over her computer as their images bob and freeze.

“We’re here, Penelope, is everything ok?” an older man with thinning, dark hair asks in mild concern, “The only time you set these things up is on holidays and it isn’t a holiday that I’m aware of.”

“Everything’s fine. Great in fact…Actually…” she grins at their images on her screen. Gideon and Carlos will support her, she knows. They may not understand it at first, Carlos has strong convictions, but Gideon always tries to see where each of them is coming from and help the other understand. He’d come around. “I kind of have some big news…" she continues, figuring she should just rip off the bandaid, "I’m getting married!”

The faces peering back at her are understandably confused. After a moment of silence, each working things out on their own, Carlos is the first to respond, “...Morgan’s leaving his wife?”

It was a jumble of words then as all three talked over the other, “What?! No! It’s not Derek,-” Gideon frowning and shaking his head chuckling, “And ditch that doctor? Not a chance. Penelope, what do you mean? You’re not-”  “it’s…well even I don’t know who it is yet! I was kind of selected through this matching thing and they have these experts and well, it’s-”

Excited dawning sparks on her brother’s face as he shouts over both of them, “IT’S THAT SHOW!”

“Wha- Yeah. It is. I’m going to be on ‘Married at First Sight’...So are you guys…are you upset?” Neither sounded mad, they didn’t look mad, but who knew? Give either time to think and it’s possible they ended up that way, frustrated at her impulsiveness, what they saw as reckless behavior.

Gideon took the lead, Carlos feeling thrown off, but excited, hesitantly happy for his sister. “Peanut, you’re old enough to make your own decisions. Hell, you’ve been doing it since before you were old enough…Though I don’t know that I agree with your choice to have your private life splashed all over every tv and computer around the world with as deep and quick as things spread, I trust you know what you’re doing. If you think this is the best way for you to find happiness, that’s all your mom and dad ever wanted. It’s all we want for you, too. And, it’s not Kevin.”

“I’m just surprised at your restraint,” Carlos jumped in teasing, “you’re tellin’ us you haven’t hacked their systems, found who they matched you with, and searched him down to the very first time he even touched a computer?”

“I would never!”

“Ahh, someone recognized you.”

“They did not!-”

“Who was it, huh? Some tech nerd for sure. Hey! If things don't work out with whoever they set you up with maybe go for him, yeah?”

“Shut up! Fine.” She huffed, “It was a mic guy. He told production and they put it in my contract that if they found out I did that, they’d replace me. And I reeally wanna do this! I guess it’s kind of fun not knowing…you know, if the anxiety of it doesn’t kill me before the wedding day.”

~~

She hadn’t gotten anxious when telling Carlos and Gideon, JJ and Derek on the other hand were a different story. JJ wouldn’t say much, she didn’t often judge, but Derek, Derek was fiercely protective and very vocal when he felt she was making a mistake.

She didn’t think it was a mistake, but she could already feel those brooding eyebrows’ and careless tongue’s lashing sting, building up the wall of resistance to let her news be known.

Looking at her friend’s curious faces on the other side of the coffee table, she wished she could dive into the crashing waves of the magazine  cover between them Mary Poppins style.

She’d invited them over for brunch, just the three of them, meaning to casually drop the news while whipping up Belgian waffle batter. But fruit had been sliced, waffles cooked, doused, and consumed, and glasses drained of mimosa nectar all while tension built and she danced around the big reveal.

JJ and Derek speculated while Penelope busily cleared plates and cleaned up, insisting she didn’t need the help. Was she moving? Was she in trouble? Had she happened upon some government documents again while messing around online and bored? Did she adopt them each a pack of dogs?

Finally, with nothing left to distract her or use as an excuse, she was sitting pinned to the cushion in front of them.

“So…?” JJ prompted.They both were leaning forward, elbows on knees. Penelope dropped her eyes to the rug, playing with the hem of her skirt. If she didn’t have to look them in the eye it wouldn’t be so bad.

Derek sat back, exasperated. “Baby girl, we know something’s up, just tell us! If you need it, we can help-”

Her eyes shot to his across from her, “It’s not like that, I want to, really, I do! But, I’m worried…I’m worried you’ll be mad. You have to promise you won’t get mad- it’s nothing bad, I swear!” Her eyes bounced from Derek to JJ and back again. “It’s just, you might think I haven’t thought things through, or I'm being impulsive, or maybe I'm doing it as a reaction to what happened before, but I’m not and I have and I really believe it could be a good thing.”

Telling friends shouldn’t be more stressful than telling family, telling either exciting news shouldn’t be stressful at all. She thought about her mystery husband (as she’d taken up privately calling him) then; was he having as much trouble telling his family? Were they accepting? Were they close? Did he have a good relationship with them? Did he even have family? Siblings, parents, cousins, grandparents… Did he have lots of shallow friendships or few but deep ones? Would his friends go to the ends of the earth to protect him…like hers had?

“Ok, now you really have me lost…Pen, what is it?”

Penelope looked up, as ready as she’d ever be, “Jayge, you have Will and that’s awesome! And Derek, you have Savannah, and- and that’s wonderful and you’re both so happy and your little families are so cute and I’m so not wanting kids- but I do want that happiness, and it’s hard sometimes being around you both when I don’t have someone. And we know how well my gut’s been at choosing-“

“Hey-” Derek started, “You can’t blame yourself for that, there’s no way you could predict some piece of shit  would shoot you.”

“No, but you were right…Some random guy at a- never mind. That’s not my announcement. Anyway.” Her busy hands swept the veering track away, dropped to her lap, then flew into the air as a massive smile spread across her face, “I’m getting married!”

Derek’s face contorted grossly, “Don’t tell me you went back to Kevin-”

JJ’s grew incredulous and disgusted, “Oh my god, Penelope, no! He wants you to live on a farm!”

Ah, yes, this. This is the judgment and presumption, this was the reason she had been so apprehensive about telling them, well that and her impulsiveness. No matter, it wasn’t what they thought and that would definitely be worse than what it is…

“It’s not Kevin. Well. Actually, I guess it could be, but the odds are incredibly low that it would be? The truth is I don’t know who the groom is because well, I signed up for a show, and I was selected, so some professionals have chosen a husband for me, it’s all very scientific- and we get to meet him together on the day of my wedding” she paused in her nerves, trying to read the emotions of her closest friends from their body language.

“…That is, if you’ll both agree to be there with me? Please. I need you there. I’m already getting nervous. My feet are itching and my palms are sweating just telling the two of you about it.”

JJ was stunned, Derek, predictively, looked less than thrilled. His arms crossed tight against his chest and a jet eyebrow arched sky high. “You tell Gideon and Carlos yet?”

“Not that it has anything to do with me telling the two of you, but yes Mr. Nosy, I told my family.”

“And?”

“And what?! They’re happy for me, Derek! Carlos is flying out here from California and Gideon is driving down from his cabin in a few days so we can have dinner as a family before the ceremony...”

JJ leaned forward, hand grasping Penelope’s, smiling, “That sounds great, Pen,” then looking pointedly at Derek, “of course we’ll be there, we wouldn’t miss it for the world. You, me, and Savannah can go suit shopping for the boys.”

Derek rolled his eyes but relaxed into the chair, “Yeah mama, of course we’ll be there, just name the date, since you can’t name the groom.”

-For security reasons film crew were not permitted onto the office grounds of Participant Luke Alvez.-

He’s shocked he was selected, he figured with his history of emotional and physical unavailability along with the restrictions around filming him, they simply would have gone with an easier candidate, but he’s hopeful and excited nonetheless. With background checks and interviews behind him, all that was left was checking in with work and telling his mom and Isabella.

“Hey, ah. Emily, can we talk in your office? I have something to run by you…” Luke asks as he catches her walking into the bullpen.He’s approaching with coffee, she can’t help but notice he seems off, almost on edge. “Of course, everything alright?” she asks as they make their way up the stairs and across the catwalk.

Entering her office, she perches on the edge of her desk and gestures to the open door, “Should we…?” If he was disguising his emotions this poorly, asking to talk in private, and attempting to soften her with caffeine it must be pretty important, and Luke tended to be private regardless.He was half way to sitting, but stood up wiping a hand on his jeans, “Uh, yeah. Yeah, maybe.” he said, reaching over to close it, feeling the latch catch before letting go.

“Look, before I say anything, what I’m asking, I’m asking Unit Chief Prentiss, not Friend Emily. I know you’re going to want to mock this, but please before you do that, try to address it from the perspective of the Bureau first, then you can say whatever you want.”

Putting on her best Ambassador voice and face, she responds haughtily, “I resent that you feel I would be anything other than strictly professional in this building…” her lips twist into a smile, “but knowing you think I’ll think it’s stupid makes me feel better.”

Luke shakes his head as if to say “You couldn’t wait” but goes on. “A few months ago, as you know, I took some time off to visit family. Being around my mother and my sister, talking about Papi and my abuelo, hanging out with my nephews, they got to talking about me and naturally there was the whole ‘why aren’t you married, you’re breaking my heart, your father would be crushed the family name is dying, yadda yadda.” He looks up at Emily, poorly disguising her knowing smile with the rim of her cup.

“I didn’t know we shared a mother.”

Luke laughs, rolling his eyes, “Ok, well. I didn’t think it bothered me, but I guess it did, because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Not from a guilt perspective, but I just started thinking they were right. Not about the family name, but what am I doing? Am I going to wake up 10, 20 years from now in some motel the bureau’s put me up in and realize that’s all my life has been? That all my life’s amounted to is having put a few dozen murderers behind bars?”

“Hey, that’s no small feat-”

“Yeah, but you of all people know how isolating this job can be, how lonely, how hard it is to find someone willing to stick it out with our schedule… and how easy it is to let it eclipse everything. So when my sister called a few weeks later talking about this show, saying applications were open, making jokes about how it would be the only way I’d ever ‘lock down a wife’ I told her go for it, sign me up. And after assuring her I was serious, she did. I guess they liked what she wrote because they picked me, and matched me with someone...”

Luke took a deep breath, “So, my question is…am I allowed to do this? Not, can I take time off again, but logistically as a Federal Agent, will I be fired if I go through with this? Would I need to use a fake name or take a leave of absence?”

“Oooh,” she sucked her teeth, “Yeah. That might be a little more complicated. I know we make appearances on tv from time to time on certain cases; informing the public, addressing unsubs, but the Bureau is not going to like this. A reality show? Luke, the optics if it goes poorly... Look, I’m not telling you you can’t do it. If you think it’s worth it, I can check, but I’m confident there isn’t a rule against it. Maybe just don’t say on camera what you do for work. We don’t need any of that kind of blowback, especially in this political climate.”

Luke sat back, shoulders hiking down, relief taking over as worry left his body. He didn’t realize just how stressed he’d been over the whole situation. “Thanks, Emily.”

She beamed an evil, toothy grin back, “Don’t thank me yet, you still have to tell the team, and lucky you, I was just about to gather everyone…”

~~

Breaking the news to his mother had gone about as well as he’d thought. She was overjoyed he was finally getting married, settling down, and starting a family (or so she imagined), but appalled and borderline scandalized at the spectacle a reality show would be and the fact that no one knew the girl or her family.

“If you insist on going through with this can’t you persuade one of your computer friends at work to check up on her, mijo?” had been bargained down from “I don’t understand why you refuse to meet up with any of the nice girls I know from the neighborhood and church. I can find you a good girl with good family at the church. Doloris’s daughter-”

“No mother, that would be a violation, not to mention a misuse of government resources and personnel…and,” he shrugged though he was on the phone alone in his apartment, “I kind of like not knowing…the anticipation. It’s exciting.”

“You’re an idiot” were her last words on the matter, everything else after had been communicated through his sister. But she was coming, and it wasn’t to hold a protest.

[buckys-little-belle]

Hii, I’m obsessed with Hellfire Babysitting Club. It’s definitely a go to comfort read for me:)

My favorite trope is hurt/comfort, and I was wondering if you could write a chapter where little terror has been having trouble sleeping at night because they’re scared of monsters, and sometimes Eddie gets really descriptive with his campaigns, and little terror has been having nightmares about the campaigns recently, but doesn’t want to tell Eddie because they don’t want him to feel bad, and one day in a meeting little terror falls asleep on the floor or something and wakes up with a nightmare, and tells Eddie what has been happening, and a lot of fluff and comfort ensues, and Eddie gets Steve/Robin/Nancy to babysit whenever possible, or gets little terror some noise canceling headphones and they color and wear the headphones while the boys play D&D, so they won’t hear anything and get scared.

Sorry, I know it’s long haha.

Hellfire Babysitting Club (Part Ten)

Nightmare

Eddie Munson x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used) / Hellfire Club x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used)

Warnings - Talks of dragons, nightmares, Terror eats a cookie, talks of food, talks of sleeping, issues with sleeping, non descriptive explanations of nightmares.

Notes - Honestly this made me scream and want to write for this group again, I love them so much, and this request is cute and I just had to write it. This really isn’t that long though, please know that.

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW.

- - - - - -

The club had gathered around the table, everyone on their edge of their seats, Eddie stood with a knowing smile. A dragon enemy had just been introduced in this campaign, the group weary and worried about its strength, Eddie excited for the group to defeat it. Y/n sat next to Eddie, in their usual seat, slightly intrigued by the new character, but also trying to drown out Eddie’s words, hoping that the scary creature wouldn’t sneak it’s way into their dreams that night.

“There’s no way out boys, he’s got you surrounded by a ring of fire, what’s you next move?” Eddie laughed, adding a dramatic flare by acting as if the boys were doomed, making them sweat in their seats.

The group conversed, but Y/n just whispered to Eddie that they needed to go to the bathroom, a lie, an escape, but he let them go, reminding them about the pea sized soap drop rule, not a whole handful. They nodded, quickly walking out of the room, looking back at the group before wandering off.

- - - - - -

Y/n had been able to escape the meetings every time something scary happened, going to the bathroom, their locker, a short walk, you name it, Y/n had escaped to do it. Though today was different, their seat seemed especially comfortable, their eyes drooping the more they sat, Eddie’s voice lulling them to sleep.

When they had fallen asleep, their mouth slightly open, the group had coed at them, finding Terror a blanket and draping it over them and the chair to keep them warm. Their peaceful sleep didn’t last long, their body shifting in the seat every once in a while with a murmur or sigh, Terror finally awoken with a start when their nightmare became too much. “AH.” They yelled, their eyed taking in their surroundings, blanket long forgotten on the floor.

“Fairy? Eddie questioned, the group all focused on Y/n’s trembling body. “What’s wrong?”

“‘s jus’ scary.” Y/n mumbled back, picking the blanket back up, looking to their lap, avoiding his eyes.

“What’s scary? Your dream?” Eddie placed a comforting hand on Y/n’s back, disregarding the campaign for a second.

“Mhm.” They responded, not wanting to look at Eddie, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “An’ the stories.” They admitted, looking to Eddie then looking away.

Eddie’s face dropped, of course his campaigns were scary, he tried to make them that way, but he never even thought about Y/n and the fact that when little they could be a lot scarier than intended. “I’m sorry.” He sighed.

“‘s okay.”

“Is that why you keep leaving half way through?” He asked, the boys around them letting out a few ‘oh’s in realization.

“I din’ wan’ you t’stop, i’s your club ‘n I don’ wan’ a be a bother.” They rambled, looking to the boys and Eddie with an apologetic look.

“You’re not a bother.” Eddie said, his hands cupping their face now so they looked at him. “We can figure something out so you don’t get scared okay?”

“I have some headphones at home.” Mike spoke up. “That cancel noise so you don’ hear anything.”

“Those could work.” Eddie smiled, proud of his group for being helpful.

“I could call Steve too.” Dustin spoke up. “Him and Robin are always talking about how they miss having kids around.”

“That’s another great idea.” Eddie’s smiled had grown again, Y/n’s features relaxing at the boy’s reaction, no one was mad, in fact they jumped to their rescue, true knights in shining armour.

- - - - - -

The group had a schedule in place, Y/n sat in the room with headphones on and colouring pages strewn in front of them one week, a cookie in hand as they coloured in happy silence. And the next week they would get picked up by Steve and Robin, getting to go on adventures of their own with them, the movie store, the park, all sorts of fun field trips.

Y/n knew the boys always had their back, no matter what, but it was reassuring to see them come to their rescue, just like they did while playing, the boys true characters shining through.

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, March 31, 2024

My posts

Easter is a big day in my family because I have a young nephew and my mom has always loved putting together Easter baskets. She asked him if he thought he’d been good enough for the Easter Bunny to visit him. “I don’t have to be good, Grandma!” he said patiently. “He’s not Santa.” Me, I’m hoping to get a visit from the Easter Wolf. At any rate, this week on my end was mostly Hot Lady reblogs while I was out at the garden shop (fresh pictures next week). 

Reblogs of interest

All the Hot Vintage Lady Round 2 polls are up! I have gone in hard for Ava Gardner, and the people-pleaser in me hates upsetting Jean Seberg fans, but I can’t put on the jersey and then not fight when the numbers are this close. 

Round 3 starts Saturday, April 6th! It won’t get any easier!!

“dual propaganda: Dolores del Río and Marlene Dietrich being pals (who are gals) masterpost”

The voters’ ages are breaking down about the way I expected.

Unrelated to the bracket: 

These are the climate grannies: “They have the generational wisdom, environmental activism experience, free time — and they're not afraid of getting arrested.”

An Alabama state house seat flipping blue is a great lesson about voting in general, but AL conservatives wrought this “BUT WAIT WHAT ABOUT IVF” splinter issue themselves and I’m cackling that it’s bitten them this hard. 

Meanwhile, my tiny AL liberal-arts alma mater is closing and I’m furious.

Mike Flanagan: “If Netflix had released a blu-ray set for Midnight Mass, this is the blurb I’d want on the cover”

Gothic book cover heroines (I have a whole pinboard of these around here somewhere)

I will make a cheesy glittery Neocities page the hot second I can think of something to put on it.

Put Baby In Mimic Mouth. no problems ever in mimmic mouth because good Shape and Support for baby neck weak of big baby head.

A pun so perfectly calibrated that I had to go lie down for a moment 

SPOSHA (space OSHA)

Several species just vibing on branches

Please accept this bunny’s wink @ u. 

Video

1) I did not realize that Bette Davis was still alive when “Bette Davis Eyes” hit it big, and that she hung the gold and platinum records on her wall! 2) I was last week years old when I realized that the line was “Her hair is Harlow gold” and not “hollow gold.” 

This is a video featuring shrimp on a carousel, and you have to turn the music on

This cat has a water dance

This is what happens when a bubble freezes

The sacred texts

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

Personal tag of the week

Honestly, I don’t have anything this week that isn’t vintage movie stars in some form.

[siberiascaravan]

Betraying Hearts: Prologue

A quick note from the author: 

To keep my fiction inclusive as possible and to make my writing better, we are going to be doing some stuff a bit different than the usual (y/n). 

Using they/them pronouns. But, if you want to replace those with your pronouns as you read. I am all for it. 

Instead of (Y/N) we are going to go by a ‘Code Name’ - Fern Vesper. Again, should you decide to change it to your name as you read along, totally understand 🙂

I won’t be describing skin color, eye color, or hair color/texture. However, I will say that this character isn’t bald. So, there will def be hair. 

Age limit: I recommend my material be read by adults only. But, I understand it’s the internet and I was young once too. Please understand that this material might not be suitable for minors.

Happy holidays. I hope this is a good intro! More to come ♥

Enough blabbing, I just wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page ♥ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrenaline rushed through your veins like an electrical current riding with the flow of your bloodstream. Each pump of your heart brought on a new wave of electricity. How long has it been since you had been brought to this room; surrounded by walls painted in an inky blue hue that made it feel as though one were suffocating in the ocean at night?  A clock, the only thing in this empty holding cell sat right above the door into and out of this room; Your eyes glued to the surface, burning from lack of blinking. Maybe if you watched the clock time would go slower and whatever was about to happen would happen later rather than sooner. The heavy clunking of the gears working behind the face of the object sounded with each passing second; taunting you with an omen of what was to come. 

Why did you have to open your big mouth? Was it worth all the trouble it seemed to have gotten you into? The only reason you get pulled into a room by yourself is to be fired. Or worse. A groan sounded as you ran your fingers softly down your cheeks.  

The expression on his face after you had spoken up and 'corrected' him.. The memory alone was enough to tug at one corner of their mouth in a smug smirk. It wasn’t often one got to correct someone of higher standing. Especially someone like him, whom no one dared question; According to the agent who brought you in here anyways.

~*~*~* 

The day started so normal as Fern opened their eyes and went on with the same morning routine they had for years. It wasn’t much, just the basics. Hygiene, basic skin care, teeth care, you know the usual. Work had gone about the same excluding the mention of a new section of the RDA opening with employees to fill all positions. Aside from that one shred of news- It was almost like living a rerun of your life every day. Though, you would be lying if you said they didn’t love what you did for a living. Honestly, Fern Vesper was the ‘Jack-Of-All-Trades’. Combat knowledge, tech-savvy, and crafty. Another plus was Fern’s smarts; despite not having a degree- the RDA simply tested them to make sure Fern was as good of an asset as they were claiming to be. Once you passed that test it was a breeze to get a job there. Their overlooking your lack of college experience when it came to hiring was one of the reasons you joined. One of them. Another reason was due to your history. The RDA didn’t seem to mind too much either provided you didn’t cause them any issues. 

The past IS the past. Nothing more needs to be said about it. People make mistakes. But, they grow from it and learn.. Still, it didn’t stop some of the guilt that ate away at you while you lie there in bed. 

It was after work hours, you had been looking through work emails on your tablet. No jobs or requests meant you had all the time in the world to do what you did best: Researching whatever the hell you wanted. All information was valuable after all. The newer the discovery - the better.

This deep, rough, commanding voice echoed through the halls from an upcoming room with its door open. This wasn't typical since all information was kept on a ‘need-to-know basis. Doors were closed when in conference rooms. SO, Knowing the door wasn’t closed, you saw this as an opportunity to see what was going on. Maybe there was food involved, like a potluck. Who would miss out on free food? 

‘CERTAINLY, NOT I’  you think, chuckling to yourself as both feet stopped just before the threshold. You inhaled slowly and softly, making sure you weren’t making too much noise to not alert anyone within, just in case you weren't meant to see or hear whatever was going on. Ever so slowly, hues round the corner to peek in. 

The room held a ‘squad’ or ‘team’ of men and women who stood rigid unmoving towards the front of the room facing the aforementioned door. Luckily it seemed they didn’t take notice of you at the time; Their eyes never faltered from the source of the voice. Without warning a muscular body would move in front of them effectively blocking them from your view, but, facing the soldiers standing at attention. What a sight to see. The entire room still with that many bodies in there- it was kind of freaky. Like a bunch of statues. 

“Alright, I’m feeling particularly jolly this evening soldiers.” He began, moving down the line of his group- “If any one of you can tell me what the most important thing is when you find yourself in new territory.. I’ll let you all go for the evening. It is Friday after all.” a dark chuckle followed as the men and women in that room looked around at one another. Finally, they all attempted to answer him but to no avail. Some even began to look disgruntled.  

“I’d suggest securing a food suppl-”

“That’s not true! A shelter is the first thing you should secure!”

You cant tell who said that. It wasn't until people started to shift their attention to you that you realized that voice was YOUR voice before your brain could even process the fact your lips had moved. And with that single slip up all eyes were now on the intruder standing in the doorway. Especially his. Those icy blue hues drank in the other form. Every single detail. Every curve. He was taking a mental image to remember for later. In case this little disturbance decides to book it out of here and run. You could tell- this man was sizing them up.

Finally, his hues met yours and it felt as though you had been thrown into an icy Volcano. Like the ground beneath your feet quaked. Something had changed that day. He had narrowed his eyes, his hands still behind his back as he slowly moved to them like a serpent about to strike. 

"Excuse me?"

"I-I just mean the average human body can go up to at least two weeks, if not more and while it isn't ideal-... you can use at least the first part securing a shelter and once that is taken c-care of.." It was like this man's presence sucked the air from whatever room he was in. Or maybe it was your social anxiety working itself up. Your eyes broke from the commanding body before you to look at the soldiers in the room who held no expression on their faces. A few had their brows knitted in a sort of: How could you question our leader?? 

A gust of breath sounded from the elder male, his pearly whites coming into view as he smiled- a smile that said: you done goofed. Lifting his left hand, he spoke: 

"All of you are dismissed. Lyle, Please take our new friend into Room 2-C... I think we have some things we need to... discuss." One last look up and down before he pushed past Fern and Jones. This meant the conversation was done.

Was it worth it? Probably not. Fern never was smart when it came to social situations. They’d much rather be off alone somewhere with their nose in a book, or out in the field doing research work. But, surely they couldn’t be in too much trouble, besides they were the newbies here, Fern huffed at their internal monologue.  Was only trying to make sure he understood that his men and women would be better working on a shelter and making sure everyone was okay before walking off to find food. At the same time, his statement as well could be true. But, you won't lose energy until around the two-week mark. Not the critical amount he is trying to make it seem anyways. On week two without anything accomplished one might as well accept their fate. THEN AGAIN SOME FACTORS CAN PLAY A PART TOO. Why didn't you blurt that out too?! 

"I am not to be disturbed. Understood?" 

Your heart began to beat in more rapid successions upon hearing the growl that fell from that man’s lips. It was enough to bring you back from your thoughts- cleverly disguised as an internal scolding. The door opened and closed in one fluid movement. Your orbs watched his massive, bulky frame fill up the room as he entered, moving around you, circling his prey in a sense, stopping just in front of you. His hand grabbed the chair seated directly across from yours and pulled it closer before he sat. Silence engulfed the room once more. Except for that massive pounding in your chest. Could he hear it? No, of course not. He was human. A dangerous-attractiv- 

"What's your name?"

"Fern Vesper.. I'm a part of the research team and-"

"Awful long name. Fern Vesper, I'm a part of the research team." Visibly, you flinched as he reminded them he ONLY asked for your name. 

“Fern.”

“Alright, Fern.” He retorted, his signature grin returning to his face as he leaned back, muscular arms crossing over his chest, fingers tucked under his armpits. His smile seemed to soothe you as you  felt more at ease and oddly warm.. Matter of fact, it was getting warmer. Your cheeks felt as though they were on fire! Hues lifted to look back at the man as he had laughed softly, only to find that he was looking at the nervous mess in front of him known as: Y.O.U. 

Shit. 

“Colonel Miles Quaritch. Just joined as the leader of the-”

“Security Administration.”

Annoyance was the dullest thing the Colonel was feeling at the moment. This little pipsqueak was brave for as scrawny as Miles thought they were. Maybe he was right, only time would tell as that baggy uniform wouldn’t be what you were wearing here soon. Running his tongue across his teeth the former marine leaned forward, resting his forearms upon his knees. It caused a cold shiver to run up your spine.

“You ever heard of the old saying: ‘Think before you speak?’” The man before you finally stated, opting to ignore the obvious flushed face of yours. It was a beautiful sight for him. The blood pooling beneath your cheeks mixing with your skin tone made you radiant. And damn was he a sucker for a pretty little thing like you. “That means, shut the hell up if I am talking- until you have permission to speak. Do we understand?”

The muscles in your jaw clenched as you pursed your lips slightly. Something you did to stop yourself from speaking up and shoving your foot in your mouth. A single nod only came from you in response. That, however, was not good enough for him. 

“I can't hear you nod, agent! That’s why god invented mouths, now let’s use ‘em”

“. . . Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“What..?” Confusion flooded your face as you felt the anger quickly being replaced by the aforementioned emotion. This only made Quaritch grin. He felt as though this relationship was going to be his favorite kind. The kind that would remind him of those nights in Nigeria. On the battlefield. He simply growled out to be addressed with a title. Sir or Colonel. Nothing less. Maybe it was him tilting his head to the side that made you become less- confrontational. “Yes.. Sir..”

“Now damn, was that so hard?” Straightening himself back up in his chair, his hands resting on his knees, he continued. “So, a smart person such as yourself must have a pretty good understanding of this place- right?” You could only nod as the man continued. He didn’t seriously want to hear from you preferring to have you listen. “So, I suppose you’ll be my little helper until I am settled or until I dismiss you.”

“Uhhhh- hah- what? No, listen I have-”

“The RDA has stated I may take what resources I need to help me settle in. And you by opening that trap of yours, have volunteered.” Outstretching his palms, his face twisted into an expression that said: Go ahead and argue with me. When no argument arose he slammed his massive palms together in a clap, the noise loudly echoing in the room making you jump. As he intended. “Seems like we are finally getting somewhere. Good.” came his low, growl of a voice, his boot hooking one of the legs of your chair, pulling you closer as he continued to discuss with you deep into the night..

~To Be Continued~ 

[pluttskutt]

Okay, so, here’s the thing. Eddie knows trans people. Wait, that sounds bigoted. He has friends who are trans. Queer. Not queer because they are trans but because they identify as trans and queer. Off-topic, doesn’t matter, okay. The point is that Eddie is rollin’ with the LGBT. Not just rollin’ but identifies as gay. A homosexual. Throughout his life he’s had many identifiers—some granted to him by others such as freak—and he’s proud to be who is, which also happens to be gay so he’s proud and out. Always has been. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s always successful in his pursuits of finding true love or whatever the kids are calling it but he’s out there and he’s doing it.

Except for those rare times he falls so hard for someone it makes him a blabbering idiot and he loses every ounce of self-respect in futile attempts at making them see him because honestly, he’s pretty invisible to the guys he falls for. It sucks, but he can’t change his type and during those times he’s not doing much of anything except pining like a lovestruck puppy.

So, Eddie knows guys. The T and the B and the P and the Q and even the A. You’d think he’s golden then, right? He’s been with guys and others so he knows his way around the letter mafia. Maybe he would be golden if it just wasn’t for that pesky little detail of acting like a fool at any given moment. Like being caught staring at Steve’s chest when he’s wearing a hoodie because he’s not binding and Eddie can’t decide if it’s curiosity or horniness that makes him stare.

(This is a lie. He knows he wants to grab Steve by the counter and do things friends shouldn’t be thinking about doing to each other. Or have Steve do it to him. He’s flexible.)

Robin elbows him in the side whenever he stares, sending him a stare so cold it sends chills down his spine. “Stop being so weird around him or I’m banning you from our game nights. Man, seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

A lot, he wants to reply, but also nothing. So he stays silent, and he thanks Steve for his hospitality and food, and he wrecks them both in Mario Kart because they suck, which is astonishing because they’ve been having game nights since before he got invited.

It’s over too quickly. The match, snacks, the drinks, the night, and he has to leave with Robin because she can’t drive and they won’t let her walk home alone when it’s dark out. He helps clean up while she vanishes into the bathroom and hopes that maybe this is the night he has the guts to ask Steve if they can meet just the two of them and hang out (go on a date) but it never is and he beats himself up over it and tells himself that next time, for sure, but he doesn’t ask and doubts he ever will.

What Eddie knows, he knows well.

But Eddie hasn’t ever asked out an autistic guy before and he’s honestly afraid to do so. Sensory issues are a big part of what’s difficult for autistic people, he knows that much, and he also knows he’s a lot. He’s been told as much by guys he’s dated in the past and most of the time, his a lot is what made them end it. Talking, drama, clinginess, just too much.

“Thanks for the help,” Steve says, not looking at him but at the dishes he’s washing in the sink.

He’s so quiet it’s driving Eddie insane, which is why he can’t ask him out because he’d talk his ear off and cause him to have a meltdown because of sensory overload. Yes, Eddie read up about those. “I heard Robin won’t be here next weekend,” he says, a futile attempt at conversing. As soon as the game vanishes so does their topic of conversation.

“Mmh,” Steve grunts.

Eddie wants to scream. He’s begging the hamster doing all the legwork in his brain on that spinning wheel to think of anything to talk about but he comes up empty.

“She’s visiting her parents and I think she said she’ll be gone a week,” Steve says, just as the silence had taken over the room. He wipes his hand on the kitchen towel, lips narrowed and a scowl on his face like he’s thinking about something bothersome.

“Mhm.” Eddie pushes his hair away from his face and sticks it behind an ear, crossing his arms over his chest. He looks at Steve, watching him as he puts away the garbage from their night. “I’ll take-“

“Do you want-“

They both stop talking, watching the other. Steve smiles and brushes a hand through his hair, which he really shouldn’t have since he just tied a knot on the garbage bag. “You go first,” he says when it’s obvious neither of them dares to go first in case they cut the other off again.

Eddie takes a step closer and grabs the bag. “I’ll take that.” He walks over to the front door because the water is running in the bathroom and Robin’s one second away from joining them and wanting to leave before she falls asleep on the sofa. It’s happened once or twice. He’s pretty sure game nights turned into sleepovers regularly before he joined them.

He looks at Steve and catches his eyes before he averts them. They’re pretty to look at, but Eddie doesn’t get the chance to look into them a lot. Eye contact is difficult for Steve and he doesn’t want to push it. “You up for grabbing lunch then? I know it’s not game night but it can still be fun.”

“Yes,” Steve answers, voice certain and tone steady. He’s nodding with a smile, and Eddie wants to believe he wanted him to ask.

[leviathans-watching]

mfil - 44

-` ♡ ´- m.list | no taglist | next | wc: .5k

-` ♡ ´- a/n: someone in the replies of the last chapt said idiots to lovers and you're so right i cant even--

*NOT CLICKBAIT!!!* when asmo learns that you, the newest exchange student has a youtube account and following somewhat comparable to his own, he decided right then and there not to like you. however, after an unfortunate (and misleading) exchange goes viral, he has no choice but to fake date you in order to save face. will asmo crush you and put you into place like you deserve? or are those funny feelings in his stomach not hate, like he had thought? like, subscribe, and maybe fall in love (with this smau) to find out!!

asmo freezes against your touch for a brief moment, then reciprocates, enthusiastically. his hands come up to cradle your head and he leans into the kiss, drawing it out. when you finally break apart, your panting slightly and realize you must look like a mess, complete with bedhead and all.

“um, good morning,” asmo says, raising those perfectly-plucked brows. “and not that i’m, ah, mad at the greeting, but can i ask…?”

“i don’t want to give up the charade,” you confess quickly. “well, i do, but because i really want to go out with you, asmo. and to me, it seemed as if your texts were saying the same. and i’m tired of pussyfooting around the issue, so please, just tell me honestly, will you date me for real?”

asmo blinks. “you actually, like, like me?”

you huff out a breath. “wasn’t it onvious? now answer the question!” you’re pretty sure of his answer, but until you hear it out loud your fears won’t fully be done away with.

“i suppose i’m just completely irresistable,” asmo sighs, brushing his hair away from his forehead. you’re secretly a little pleased to see he’s got hedhead too, even if it is only mild. “yes, mc, i suppose i’ll grace you with my presence and we can go out ‘for real’.”

you hit him in the arm with a glare. “be normal.”

his smile is like the sun. “so demanding. fine, yes mc, i deeply care for you too and would love to actually date. thank you for putting up with my antics and craziness up until now; i honestly don’t know how you fell for me when i’ve acted towards you the way that i have.”

“well,” you say with a snort, “my type has always been idiots.”

“hey!”

you can’t help but laugh, and his offended expression melts into something softer, sweeter. butterflies erupt in your stomach and your gaze drops to his lips. as if sensing your shift in mood, he quiets, mouth ticking up into a small smile.

“look, i really like kissing you,” he says, and you can’t hear a shred of lie in his tone, “but how about you let me brush my teeth first. and my hair. and get dressed.”

“we should probably get up,” you say reluctantly. “hey, do you think we need to tell your brothers we’re really dating now?”

he waves his hand. “no way! it’s time to get them back. let’s see how gross andmushy we can be before someone calls us out on it.”

you laugh. “i like the way you think. and… thank you, for texting me last night. while it woulnd’t have been the way i would have gone about the conversation, it was really brave, and finally allowed us to be honest with one another.”

he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling him against him. “i’m sorry i hurt you, last night, and every other time. i was just, well, scared.”

“thank you for apologizing,” you reply, leaning his head against him. “and i’m sorry too. now, let’s go and mess with some demons!”

leviathan-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[miscelliteeous]

Been thinking about Spandam again a lot lately for some reason. I was majorly into him back when the Enies Lobby arc was coming out a looooong time ago (please understand this makes me feel very old!) like I printed off pics to keep in my school folders, had a very elaborate selfship (well over a decade before I even heard that term) and all that jazz. Held off on posting this for over a week because it feels a little weird sharing this since they're super old concepts.

Anyways! All that to preface that these headcanons are a tiny bit new, but most are very old concepts from my selfship getting dusted off. Some are a bit toxic, but I mean, it's Spandam, of course they are.

Spandam Headcanons

-General Relationship/History-

He met you through his father’s connections when the two of you were children. Your parents and his arranged a marriage and you and Spandam are expected to accept it.

You spend a month with him every year while your respective parents have a vacation together at a resort.

Spandam whines and bosses you around and you’re expected to put up with it because he’s a year older and his father is a higher rank than yours and this trend continues through the rest of your relationship.

Despite this, you do somewhat enjoy his company, as his weaknesses mean you get to step up and play hero to him often, even if he isn’t the most grateful. And around your teens you realize you do find him cute, even if you would never admit it.

The yearly meetings end when you’re in your late teens and instead you’re stuck having to help plan a reluctant wedding that neither of you are sure you want.

The wedding is long and boring, but you and Spandam surprise each other by having a good time complaining about everything together.

As the years go by and he rises in rank (cough nepobaby cough) you’re by his side, and you get to see a side of him others rarely see. After about a year together, he’d shocked to realize he actually DOES love you, in his own way.

He can be sweet! He likes to spoil you by buying you gifts, and he makes sure you know how expensive/rare they are.

Please join him in being a smug asshole to others and he will be over the moon. Assert your authority belittle, demean, he likes having someone to back him up when he's talking shit.

Honestly can be a pretty shit husband, not gonna lie. You’d need to learn basic combat skills (ideally you’d be trained to an almost Cipher Pol 9 level but he can’t always get what he wants) because in addition to being married to him he’d be expecting you to defend him sometimes.

Do not expect him to put himself in harms way for you though, and he would push you to the ground if it would buy him more time to save himself in a crisis.

No matter how many “spill proof” cups you buy him, he constantly proves them wrong. At least he’s easy to buy gifts for.

It bugs him IMMENSELY that CP9 vastly prefers interacting with you and they actually have a little respect for you.

He does brag about you a lot to his underlings, but its usually in a "my wife is better than you" way, putting others down.

You get to see him without his mask more than anyone else, and he often uses it to elicit sympathy and praise from you. When he’s in a bad mood he’ll sometimes say his face is your fault for not protecting him.

Spandam goes between phases of “no PDA in front of anyone” and “clingy and handsy”, depending on his mood.

The relationship can be rather ‘slap, slap, kiss’ at times, but he doesn’t really hold it against you if you give as good as you get. Sure, he’ll whine and complain that you’re unreasonable, but he’s known you long enough to not take it personally.

So basically: he won’t hesitate to slap you if he’s in a bad mood, so slap him the fuck back! Just be careful, he’s a lot weaker than you. But he’s pretty durable.

Regardless of any fights, he has trouble sleeping at night if he’s not curled up with you so any issues are cleared up before bedtime. He’s much more manageable when it’s just the two of you.

-Family Relationship-

He'd be perfectly happy and fine with never having to see your family again if you don't.

His family though? You’re stuck visiting Spandine any time Spandam wants to.

You’re both expected to continue the family line asap.

Spandam wouldn’t be any extra help during pregnancy, the most he’d do is hire you some assistants or have Funkfreed out more often for you to lean on or to bring you things.

50/50 on if he would miss the birth. It depends on if there’s a work opportunity or not. If he has a chance to rise in rank, he’ll take it.

Same goes for birthdays, anniversaries, and any other holidays. Anything to boost his own standing always comes first.

I’m sorry but there’s a good chance the child would inherit the darker face markings too, or at least the eye ones.

An even worse father than he is a husband, leaves the childcare to you or a nanny. Will not change diapers, clean up throw up, etc.

Still has a fondness for his kid because it’s his, especially if the kid reminds him of himself.

The type to try and buy his kids love and respect.

Unless you took massive steps to curb it, the kid would likely grow up to be a spoiled brat who looks up to Spandam and never realizes how lonely they really feel in his company.

-Misc-

The type to toss and turn in his sleep. Not because he’s tormented or anything but because he can never find the perfect angle to sleep in.

Spandam would only admit it when you’re alone with him, but he likes to lay his head in your lap and have his hair stroked, very calming for such a stressed out guy.

Goes between extremely secure in the relationship to worrying he might lose you to one of his subordinates if you talk to them too long. Then he’s clingy for the rest of the day.

His favorite date spot is anywhere that has a good and highly expensive steak. The price is important because he likes reiterating to you that he can afford very nice things/bragging.

Even if you’re taller, he’d likely call you things like “my little Y/N”, because it makes him feel big and powerful.

During anniversaries when he IS there, he breaks out the good whiskey and likes to has a drink with you.

He acts like he likes black coffee but when he can, he has a SUPER complicated drink order at coffee shops and gets very annoyed when it’s wrong.

You have to put up with him going “don’t you know who I am?!” in public with the dignity and grace that he severely lacks.

If push comes to shove, he wouldn’t hesitate to put your life at risk for his own but he would be very moody and shockingly (to himself) upset with himself for a long time, feeling guilty is something he’s not used to at all.

That being said, it would almost certainly not come to that and you still rank higher in his heart than anyone else.

He’s at your mercy when healing from the Enies Lobby incident and badly injured, but he deserves to be smacked hard for almost leaving you behind during the Buster Call.

Is a lot less smug and a lot more humble towards you after his extensive recovery and being moved to an underling position in CP0.

He becomes a LOT more clingy too, and would prefer you be at his side at all times.