#and honestly it just feels really bad for xyz reasons

[noirapocalypto]

.

[keeps-ache]

okay you know what actually. time is an opinion

[blessed-by-saturn]

Astro Observations (1)

These notes are really just based off of my observation of my personal placements as well as people close to me. This is a mix of natal placements and synastry placements

Natal Placements

Cancerian energy if underdeveloped can be domineering emotionally sometimes. A lot of the cancer dominant people around me that are underdeveloped tend to be emotionally unstable and rely on the people around them to ground them.

Wherever Neptune and Pisces is placed in your birth chart is where you experience the most projections/expectations from other people, but also where it is hardest for you to fully conceptualize about yourself. For example; having Pisces energy in the 7th and 8th house can cause you to experience people making assumptions about your relationship status or how you perform in the bedroom or manage money. At the same time you yourself may have a lack of understanding in how you present yourself as a potential partner or if you’re good in the bedroom or handling money.

Leo Risings in 20-29 degrees tend to attract attention much like other Leo risings, however they are more reserved and I feel more intimidating than a Leo Rising at 0-19 degrees.

Scorpio IC/4th house does indicate some issues with the home life, however if it’s healthy it’s not as bad as it could be. I think that some Scorpio 4th housers may feel an obligation to their family [doesn’t have to be strictly blood related]. They’re also pretty secretive about their home life and about personal information in general.

12th house dominant people tend to get bullied and outcasted a lot, seemingly for no reason. However they are one of the most authentic crowds out there. If I had one message to say to them it would be this: The people that are meant to be in your circle will prove themselves to you.

Eros and Aphrodite Natal Placements

I feel it’s important to note that I am inexperienced sexually, and that some of these placements can indicate why.

Eros [433] opposite Ascendant natally can cause you to feel like there’s two wolves inside of you /jk. Essentially, your sexual personality/fantasies differ from your regular image. For example, I have Eros in Scorpio in the 7th house. This translates as me desiring very intense and intimate sex with one special person that checks off all my boxes. I’m very particular and picky about who I want my first time to be with. It’s opposing my Ascendant in Taurus which causes me to come off as very laid-back and “nonchalant”, enjoying the finer things in life and going with the flow.

Eros [433] conjunct Sun both in the sign of Scorpio natally can cause you to be near constantly thinking about sexual fantasies. For me specifically with it being in the 7th house, I have the sexual fantasies of being with that one special person and engaging in various... activities.

Eros [433] square Moon can come as feeling guilty or just complex in general about your sexual nature. I used to be envious of the women who were sexually expressive because I didn’t know how to emulate that energy, especially being a virgin in a sexual society. The challenge to overcome with this placement is essentially creating your own form of sensuality/sexuality in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident.

Eros [433] in the 7th house conjunct Sun in the 6th house can cause people in the workplace or daily living areas to project their sexual fantasies onto you. I’ve had many people get flirtatious or handsy with me or make comments that honestly were not appropriate. But they all still have to do with the theme of “If we were together I’d do xyz with you./ You look like the type of partner who’d be into these things.” etc. which aligns with the 7th house theme of partnerships.

Aphrodite [1388] in 6th house can cause you to attract strong connections either romantically or platonically originating from the work place or routinely/daily living locations. I’ve also noticed that my work ethic is what tends to draw these people in or one of the main things that they compliment outside of looks.

^This is another one of those placements that I’ve noticed people get very flirtatious and needy with me - more specifically women. There are a lot of women who claim me as their “girlfriend/wife” and get very physically touchy with me (i.e. sitting on my lap, giving me unprompted massages, forcing me to touch them in intimate places).

^I personally believe this is because Eros [433] and Aphrodite [1388] are conjunct each other, as well as my Sun, very tightly and oppose my Ascendant. I also feel that because these asteroids are in Scorpio and, like I said prior, I’m very selective with who I want to give myself to intimately these people are literally sitting on the sidelines waiting for me to give them the greenlight on having sex.

Aphrodite [1388] square Moon can cause the native to be emotionally repressive with their crushes or to be neglectful of themselves in general. While I personally do not neglect my self care, I do tend to get emotionally withdrawn from people I have crushes on. I also can confirm that I feel I can’t fully embrace my beauty and that I have to downplay it in fear of garnering negative attention from women. However, as I get older I start to care less and less about outside opinion.

Synastry Placements

Having your Venus in someone’s 2nd house can cause the Venus person to be more of a gift giver. It’s not necessarily expensive things, but more of those “I saw this and it made me think of you so I got it.”

Having someone’s ascendant in your 5th house does not always indicate sexual/physical attraction. I personally feel more comfortable around the ASC person, like I can be more carefree and embrace my inner-child without being judged. The ASC person may also feel as though they can relax easier, but seem to be less likely to join in the antics every time.

Having your sun in someone’s 3rd house can make for fun and stimulating conversations. As the sun person, I tend to be the one doing the talking, initiating the conversations, and trying to get the house person to think outside the box. The house person is a good, active listener [usually], and contributes to the conversation in a way that makes me feel like I can talk forever. Yapper x Listener dynamic if you will. The House person feels as though they can communicate freely without being judged, and that the flow of conversation is pretty chill. There’s pretty open-minded discussions that go on with this placement

Having your ascendant in someone’s 9th house can be the Ascendant person teaching the House person new ways of thinking and introducing them to new philosophies. Alternatively, the House person helps the Ascendant person to evolve and grow through their own personal philosophy by prompting them with questions that forces them to reflect.

Having your Juno in someone’s 12th house can make you feel slightly obsessive over them. The love you have for the 12th house person is pure but all-consuming. You can be dismissive of the House person’s flaws because they make you feel so good and happy. However, the 12th house is also the house of hidden enemies, so when the connection starts to fall apart and the rose tinted glasses are off you start to feel like you were deceived or betrayed by the 12th house person, and possibly vice versa.

^ The 12th house person typically feels relaxed in the Juno person’s presence, depending on chart layouts, like they can be their true authentic self and the Juno person won’t judge or criticize them. The 12th house person can burned themselves by trying to live up to perceived expectations of the Juno person

[redstarwriting]

the clash | ii. time bomb

hobie brown x goth!reader

word count: 1.5k

genre: enemies to lovers

warnings: language, insults, hobie hating you, you hating hobie, y’all almost fight twice lmao

a/n: felt bad only posting the first chapter, so here’s the second one as well! i’ll get the third one out as soon as i can, but a bitch has work tomorrow and the next day. please enjoy chapter two everyone! and if you wanna be added to the taglist just let me know! :)

now reading: ii. time bomb

previous chapter: i. hey, ho! let’s go!

next chapter: iii. black planet

───────────────────────────────

Hobie swings his way to where he’s sure Gwen is, and in doing so he will probably also find Miles and Pavitr. He’s sure he looks like if someone said the wrong thing to him, he would punch them in the face, because honestly? He just might. And he doesn’t care. You pissed him off. With your stupid opinions. People like you are the reason anarchy can never succeed, you’re either all in or you’re all out. He hates the way you dismissed him, which is a shame because he really thought you were drop-dead gorgeous.

Speaking of drop, that thought makes him drop. Like, actually. He face plants.

He groans. Fucking hell, he’s never had to deal with this type of hatred before. Usually, it’s just cut and dry ‘I hate you cause xyz’, but fuck you are making it hard. While he hates you for what you said, he loves your style, and he respects you standing your ground and not giving into him with your beliefs, but at the same time, you piss him off. He glances around, “Meant to do that.” No one in particular hears him, but he quickly webs off again. He searches for bright blond hair, and sure enough, he sees Gwen. She’s chilling in the common room Hobie claimed as his own a while back. He claimed it by… redecorating. He just made it feel more like home, and since Miguel is such a lame ass, he didn’t appreciate all the colorful spray paint and broken furniture. But Hobie doesn’t really give a fuck. As he gets closer, he can see that Miles and Pavitr are there too, and… absolutely fucking not.

He lands directly next to you with an unamused look on his face. “And who invited you into my home away from home?” You look at him and roll your eyes. “This your place? Well, that explains why it looks like someone gave Mayday Parker a 50-pack of markers and told her to go to town in here–”

“Ha ha. Funny.”

“–and to answer your question, I invited myself,” you say smugly, and he narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t try to make me like you, it’s not gonna work, love,” he growls, and everyone can tell by the way he said love that he certainly did not mean it as a term of endearment. “I wouldn’t dream of it, mate,” you say, imitating his accent in over-exaggerated way. “I don’t think they are actually calling him their mate,” Pavitr whispers to Miles, who gives him an expression practically dripping in ‘no shit.’ Hobie tears his gaze away from you and looks at Gwen. “We need to show this twat around,” he huffs, and Gwen raises her eyebrows. “We? Isn’t that your job,” she says, and Miles nods. “Yeah, I remember you said you made a deal with Miguel that–”

“I don’t give a fuck if it’s my ‘job,’ when have I ever followed the rules of a fuckin’ job?” he seethes, and you snicker. “Aw, how endearing, the punk rebel has a job. I’ll be sure to go to Miguel and tell him you’re doing amazing, so that you don’t get fired, in fact, you could get promoted!”

“That’s it,” Hobie growls and turns to you, grabbing the neck of his guitar and getting ready to use it. You smirk and slightly crouch, ready to jump away or towards him, based on his next move. “OKAY! Okay, we’ll help you just put the damn guitar down,” Miles says, jumping between the two of you. Hobie looks at him before looking at you with a deep frown. “I don’t need help. I just need to make sure other people are here, so I don’t murder this nitwit,” he says, tossing his guitar back so it hangs off his back again. “If anythin’, you’re helpin’ them.”

“I don’t need help either. Especially not yours. I’ll find my way around here myself,” you say, crossing your arms. He turns and offers you a smile. “Well now that you say you definitely don’t want my help, looks like I’m gonna be that friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and assist you.”

“My hero,” you say sarcastically, pushing past him and walking out of the room. He motions for the others to follow you first, and walks out last, slinking in the back. Gwen takes up the role he usually plays in showing everyone around. You nod and listen, occasionally asking a question and cracking a joke. He hates to admit it, but your jokes are actually very funny. It’s refreshing to hear deadpan, straightforward, dry comedy instead of the puns and silly jokes all the other Spider-People love to make. But he doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t even crack a smile. Just watches you.

‘Like a creep,’ you think, catching him staring at you for what feels like the 50th time. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the attention you were getting from him. Truthfully, he’s probably the most attractive person you’ve ever laid eyes on.

Such a tragedy he’s also the worst person you’ve ever had the displeasure to speak with.

“Your suit is so cool, by the way,” Miles says to you, and you give him a grin. “Thanks. Made it myself.”

“Yeah. I can tell,” you hear Hobie pipe up, and your head snaps towards him. “Because it’s so stylish, fashionable, and better than anything you could do yourself?”

“No. ‘Cause it looks like it was put together by a colorblind toddler. If you look close enough, the blacks don’t even match,” he says, smirking. Now this was a lie. All the black in your suit was a perfect shade of raven, he just knew it would piss you off. And it did. “Fuck you. At least my suit doesn’t look like a twelve-year-old who just discovered Hot Topic for the first time,” you hiss, and he scoffs. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth there, mate.”

“You watch yours, mate.”

“Okay, both of you shhhhhhh!” Gwen says, and you both look at her. “Don’t tell me what to do–”

“Stop talking like me!”

“What?! You stop talking like me!”

“Oh my God, the romantic tension is through the roof right now!” Pavitr suddenly pipes up, and now the both of you are staring at him, dark expressions on your faces. “I’d rather be eaten alive by a single piranha so it would take days until I finally succumbed to the sweet release of death,” you hiss and Hobie nods. “Finally. Somethin’ we agree on.” He turns and looks at you, and you roll your eyes at him. “Way to de-escalate, buddy,” Miles whispers to Pavitr, and Pavitr sighs as Miles walks a little faster to catch up with everyone else. “But I was being serious…”

Gwen continues to show you around, and when she finally finishes, you all are back at ‘Hobie’s common room.’ You walk back inside and sit on the tattered and broken-down couch. The way the room is decorated is kind of cool, you must admit. You’re just not a fan of the mismatched colors everywhere. And it could use a couple more decorations. Like bat skeletons. Or just live bats. That would be adorable. “Thanks for showing me around,” you thank Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr. “Not you, though,” you say to Hobie and he snorts. “Good. I wouldn’t want you to thank me for anything.”

“Why do you two hate each other so much? Didn’t you literally just meet?” Miles asks, looking exhausted from the snarky remarks coming from both of you. “We did,” you confirm. “And we don’t get along cause they don’t have any strong belief system.”

“Yes, I do! I’m just realistic, and he can’t understand that,” you say and he rolls his eyes. “Realistic, eh? I already told you I led a rebellion.”

“And I told you it doesn’t matter because everyone is shit. How many villains have you fought since this rebellion you led?”

“None of your fuckin’ business.”

“So, you’ve fought at least one. What did that rebellion get you then, huh?”

“I recommend you shut your fuckin’ mouth before I shut it for you.”

“Please, do try. I need a new skeleton for my collection,” you growl and the two of you jump at each other. Luckily, Gwen and Miles web both of you and hold you back. “That’s enough of that,” Gwen says. “I have an idea,” Miles says, “why don’t we go visit your universe, (Y/n)? Maybe then Hobie can see why you’re so… negative.”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere near that place,” Hobie nearly yells. “Good. I don’t want you there anyway.”

“On second thought, I think it might be very eye-opening to see the world you grew up in. Maybe I can team up with your sinister six and put you in your place,” he spits out at you, causing you to glare at him and flip him off again. “A field trip sounds fun, especially after all this just happened. Maybe it will help the two of you lighten up,” Pavitr says, and you both roll your eyes. “Fine. You can all come. But if you step one toe out of line, Hobie–”

“What? You’ll yell at me?”

“No. I’ll torture you to the point that you would beg me for death.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

───────────────────────────────

『 tag list 』

@casmosmoon* @khaleesihavilliard​ @sparklyphantom​​ @weyrrii*

*if you are italicized - i am unable to tag you for whatever reason, feel free to reach out and see if we can fix the issue

[youalreadyhavefullresults]

the mindset journey

So hi.

My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.

TLDR:

Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.

Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?

It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.

Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)

Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.

Revision is so powerful, use it.

It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.

And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33

I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.

The Initial Mindset:

I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.

The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.

When Everything Changed:

I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.

For example,

“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”

Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.

“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”

I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.

“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”

First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.

“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”

Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.

“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”

Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.

“Can I manifest-”

Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.

“But-but, what if-”

Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?

I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.

How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!

-cinna

[queezleish]

The character of Alana Bloom: a not that coheorant ramble :3

I’ve always had a soft spot for Alana since my first watch for Hannibal. I think when I first watched I didn’t really think about her character but now after a view rewatches I’m entirely hooked by her character. Especially on the different ways you can view her when she’s “helping” people.

On the one hand all she wanted to do was help and she tried so hard to do so-- while rewatching season 1/2 u can see just how much she cares, especially as opposed to season 3 where u can see how getting caught up with these ppl and in hannibals life toughened her, turning her into the more ruthless and cold character we end the show with. And it's so tragic. It's SO tragic. This girl wanted to HELP PEOPLE but by the end she's so completely changed, so much that we see her actively seeking out to hurt and or kill different people more than once (to her credit those ppl were also murders but my point stands) .

BUT ON THE OTHER HANDDD

…..... Back in season 1, did she want to help those ppl for them or for herself?

Ive started to look back and view Alana's season 1 actions, specifically towards Will, with distain because It has always read weird to me. And I'm starting to think it's because even from the beginning she's been a very selfish person- I think she did care for Will but I think it can be read as more out of a selfish desire to help/fix/mother someone in a sense

Like that is a grown ass man babe……… idk especially considering the closeness or lack there of between will and Alana I think you can totally read Alana’s actions towards him stemming from a selfish desire to “fix”. (not saying being selfish is bad, sometimes that’s just how it be…(honestly I can make a whole another rant on the selfishness of Alana))

I don’t know if this is a hot take or not but, I feel like the two “sides” I’ve touched upon with her character are what her character gets boiled down to and I’m here to say…. Let’s not????

I understand not liking her for xyz reasons (which is so valid and me too) but I truly believe she’s so complex from a character standpoint and i think we should acknowledge this more as a fandom as opposed to boiling her down to one or two defining moments (this is especially important bc the few women of Hannibal are already given the short end of the stick and not explored upon enough as is…..but that is an entirely different rant)

While rambling about this I'm at the conclusion that maybe Alana Bloom is just a flawed character; she could’ve really wanted to help Will and Jack and with that came along the feelings of fixing/saving. And through this you can see that “fixing/helping" makes her personally feel good and that probably contributes to why she does what she does as well. Even if she doesn’t do it great either-- she definitely showed her subconscious biases and maybe ended up hurting more than helping along the way in her desire to fix/help...but that doesn't mean she never actually cared...i think u can see that she did because why else would she be constantly trying to do good ??? (At least season 1/2)

I mean it's rlly up to personal interpretation- there's a billion ways to read media, but as I was ranting to my friends about some of my gripes with her actions, I realized as I was talking, I was saying too little. I felt like I was misrepresenting. Hence my rambles

UGHHH she can just be read as SUCH a complex character and I really do think it’s an injustice to boil her down to one or two defining characteristics and the way she helps ppl is sosososo interesting to ME!

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

If Jungkook really could cum 8(!) times, how do you switch it up between orgasms? Do you pick a different position each time? And what do you do during refractory periods?

Sex is a collaboration. All parties are to contribute. If not, well, that's just masturbation with somebody there. I'm not one for plans, as I believe that takes the fun out of sex, but more importantly this type of question implies that I lack consideration and perception of what he would want, which isn't true. I don't know Jungkook personally but I do respect him as a person with his own desires.

No, it would not matter if I was the dom. No, it would not matter if he gave consent to me having full control of his entire body. People are not tools for my own pleasure. People are people. Even gagged, tied-up, and unable to hear me. It doesn't matter. It is my responsibility to listen. The body talks. I will know he can do it even if he says he can't. I will not pressure him to do something he doesn't want to do even if I think he physically can. Those are two different things and it is important to be able to discern so before engaging in power play.

Also, want to make it clear that I don't expect him to have multiple orgasms just because I like it. I actually don't have any expectations. He could tell me he's a virgin and I would enjoy teaching him from the ground up. (Honestly, that would be much easier than unlearning any bad habits.) Sex is like any other activity - you need to practice to excel at specifics. People have ceilings, too. I could practice basketball every day for 10 years and I would still be ass at it. Likewise, if JK asked me to help him nut as many times as he possibly could, I would absolutely get him there over repeated instances. But I'm not gonna whip out every trick in the book and push him to his limit the first time we intend to fuck because 1) that's intimidating, 2) his dick couldn't handle it, 3) he couldn't handle it, and 4) I wanna enjoy too, lol.

There's no "do xyz, it works every time" because it won't. The realistic answer is, depends. The positions? Depends on how we're feeling. Variety is the most reasonable answer. But what if we want to test how many times I can make him cum with my mouth? Or what if he wants as much pussy as his dick can handle? What to do during refractory periods also depends on how things worked out that day. Sometimes you spend the time in between cleaning up a bit. Sometimes you don't care and stick to each other like sticky rice. Sometimes there's no stop and you keep going. If he wants to do it and can do it, I will make it happen. The individual actions matter little as they are completely circumstantial. I won't outline a step-by-step process because there isn't one. You just do what is right in the moment. We all have preferences but I think it's equally important to be adaptable. Read body language and respond to it. Not only for another, but also yourself. Attune to the moment, not just what you know or what you aspire to be.

There's no formula. When I first started having sex, I too had a idea of standard procedure. Maybe some can be satisfied with that but I quickly found it intrusive. I abandoned such a concept. Passion cannot be contained in a plan. People change on the day, in years, over their lifetime. The best sex happens when you're in the moment. I already know what they want before they know they want it because I'm listening to their body. Not just sound, but also reaction to touch, mood, tension. I honed intuition by paying attention to what is in front of me rather than getting lost in my own ambitions.

I never say, "I'm going to make you orgasm eight times." I simply ask afterward, "How many times did you orgasm?" And he wheezes out, "Eight," before collapsing while I think BTS is seven though, maybe he squeezed out the last one for me?

[ritartistside]

While I was reading some of the negative reviews of Deadpool&Wolverine I have realized something

D&W might not be a good movie on a technical basis (I don’t even try to question that), and that still doesn’t stop it from being a great experience and an authentic Deadpool story

Like, is the plot lacking and are there holes in the story and could the emotional parts have been handled better? Yes, obviously

I keep seeing people writing “demand better” and “expect more from the writers/production”

I am quite far from defending Disney, but like, honestly, I don’t need any of that from a Deadpool movie (or a Deadpool anything)

Plot wise, the first two movies weren’t great, you could say that they were better than D&W, but still idk why people are now acting like the writing was anywhere near being "good" and this one was a huge drop in quality

The first one literally followed the most generic superhero story plotline ever. You could say “well that’s his origin story” but like only kinda true and it could have been done better and from a completely different angle (I can admit that and I still love it)

The later half of the second movie is on the same level in being disjointed as the third movie. It's a hot mess, with objectively bad writing (and one of my all time favorite movies)

Now, I am thinking of some of the Deadpool comics I read

I might just haven’t read enough, but I don’t really think they have "great plots". I remember reading Suicide Kings, some stories from Udon studios, along with other short stories, parts of the Deadpool kills XYZ stuff and “Isn’t it Bromantic”, plus many more where he was a side character)

The videogame had the best portrayal of Yellow and White but basically everything in there was questionable (plot, jokes, characterization, everything), I enjoyed it, but good God

His smaller parts in cartoons were cool but again, nothing major

Now, back to the newest film

I personally am content with the plot being bad, the emotional parts lacking and the whole thing being basically a disjointed mess

If I want any of those things done well, I look for it elsewhere

All this is to say that I feel like people are wanting to get something from a Deadpool story that wasn’t even there in the first place, is not there currently and will most likely never be there

I am not saying that people shouldn’t expect more or even that they are in the wrong for saying that the movie was bad and they wanted more, I just don’t think it’s a reasonable expectation

I know am repeating myself, but for me the authentic Deadpool experience can be described as “subjectively, I had fun, objectively, oh boy..”

I guess I am kinda preaching to the choir here, with D&W being the highest grossing R rated film ever, but still

[tirfpikachu]

this screenshot from another post actually really hit me hard

it's so true... they always do this. trying to make body dysphoria seem inherently worse than body dysmorphia is actually cruel. as someone who developed extremely severe body dysmorphia before dysphoria, i can tell you it's the #1 reason i started hating and harming myself and wanting to die at a young age. i would've 1000% gotten extreme facial plastic surgery to "fix" myself. and while for some it's their road to happiness, if i had it... it personally would've locked me into this fake version of myself, forever wearing a mask. and whenever i'd see someone looking like my past self, a haunting feeling would've come over me. and yet society was encouraging me to "fix" my perceived flaws. it was insanely normalized. it was seen as almost self-care, and a way to better my chances in life as a "prettier" woman. it really fucked me up. you CANNOT look me in the eyes and say shit like "women just want to xyz bc of beauty standards, it's not the same as my much worse severely debilitating dysphoria" without telling my younger self and other young girls that her life-threatening suffering wasn't bad enough, wasn't painful enough, wasn't as bad as anything a trans person goes through. it assumes so fucking much about dysmorphic people. don't brush us off so easily. don't put yourself as inherently in a worse situation when societal misogyny costs real lives. especially since for me, it came from initial bullying at a young age, like many other girls who hate their own bodies & faces. stop belittling our pain.

my dysphoria was very debilitating too, and made me a trans activist for life. but it did come with risks. i developed reverse dysphoria quite quickly after i started growing stubble, and now i'm stuck with that painful dysphoria until i can get expensive laser hair removal. if this is how transfems feel like about their own stubble, holy shit... i'm so fucking sorry. that's a truly horrible feeling. what i can tell you though, is that this is actually a cousin sensation to dysmorphia. dysmorphia & dysphoria aren't as separated as y'all might want them to be, which would make things must simpler ofc. but it's the feeling of visceral disgust, of your body not being good enough, not being you enough. that sucks to think about; we don't want to empower the transphobic crowd into thinking they can magically fix us all. and so, many activists and dysphoric people try to compensate by portraying them as experiences that are completely foreign to one another. as never being related or feeling similar at all, ever. but the thing is, as a previously chronically dysphoric & dysmorphic detrans chick, i can tell you first-hand that it doesn't help anyone to pretend that these aren't often comorbid disorders, and that they actually really do feel similar. and that's okay! no one should take all your treatment options away just because of that. that would be shitty, transphobic, and honestly ableist. but we gotta encourage ppl & their doctors to do due diligence (which my doctor and trans community didn't) and be open to everybody about the risk of regret, of reverse dysphoria, of things not working out the way we think they will. because all that at the very least makes detransitions less painful, even if you personally never detransition. detransitions can lead to very extreme self-hatred, and all the unfortunate consequences of self-hatred. it is a very vulnerable place to be in, and we want to prevent harm. more and more folks are detransitioning because of a lack of information and a focus on celebrating someone's transition early instead of giving proper information. the same should be done with dysmorphic folks - i am both a post-dysphoric and post-dysmorphic person. but many dysmorphic people cannot function without getting surgeries.

and while this is honestly tragic, as anyone needing to go under the knife at all is tragic in a sense... sometimes it is the only life-saving treatment option for the person. for me, i feel so fucking proud of my survival despite years of debilitating disgust at myself, my body and my face. both in a dysphoric and dysmorphic way. but i do not look down on anyone who did have to go through surgeries. i'm just happy to see them smile and feel good about themselves, honestly. but it is a bit bittersweet. how was it, before surgeries, to be dysphoric? to be dysmorphic? i want to read more stories from those eras. how did people find inner peace? did they, in the end? how many didn't survive? what did they have to say? i feel a strange sense of yearning, sometimes. heteropatriarchal society is really weird. it triggers dysmorphia in so many young girls & transmascs. it can also trigger temporary dysphoria in some people, and even permanent dysphoria. and just because certain societal things are a factor in your dysphoria doesn't mean you're lesser for it either - your suffering matters. just like dysmorphic suffering. hating yourself at all is so fucking painful. i wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy, or i'd at least strongly hesitate and they'd need to be an actual monster to deserve it. i love dysphoric & dysmorphic people so fucking much. i don't want us to fight eachother, or shame eachother for seeking treatments when things become too much for us to bear. we need to uplift one another. do everything we can to lessen these feelings in ourselves, of course, as a community of people who hate their bodies and place in society. but if someone chooses to cross over, to take hormones, to have surgeries... i just don't want them to regret it, that's all. and if they don't? if they're happy? i would hug them and breathe a sigh of relief as well. i'd feel bittersweet, almost nostalgic, because i've been there. people who haven't been severely dysphoric or dysmorphic don't fucking understand. hopefully they never will.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for telling my (white) friend to stop complaining about "white people?"

No this isn't bait, just hang on. I (26 F) have a smallish circle of online friends, and one of them, who I'll call Jill (24 F) has started making comments about XYZ being "such a white people thing" or "I hate when white people XYZ." Jill is white. She used to actually make jokes about how white she is. But lately, especially while hanging out with our friends who are POC she's started talking about "white people" like she isn't one. It sounds like a way to get approval or indirectly say "I'm not like those white people."

Where I may be the asshole: no one else has talked about feeling bothered. It's not hurting anyone, I guess. Yknow, what if it's just my problem or I need to communicate better? If that's true I want to work on it. That's a big reason why I'm asking this.

Where I think I may not be the asshole: Sometimes she'll say things at people ("of course you'd say that, you're so white" or "okay, white person") and a few times she's said them at me. I'm biracial. I can pass as white most of the time so a lot of people don't know. Jill not knowing doesn't make her the asshole, it's just a reason why I'm uncomfortable. I'm used to the opposite (people saying racist stuff in front of me IRL while not realizing,) and that hurts. But, what Jill's doing makes me feel bad in another way.

I don't think she's really an asshole, just misguided, and I'd honestly prefer avoiding bringing my own background into it if I talk to her. I only want her to know she doesn't need to keep doing this to prove herself or whatever it is. I still don't know how to say it. Will I be the asshole if I do?

[vynxwave]

Sorry for this vent ask but I feel like I'm losing my mind seeing this: not me returning to the Earthspark tag to see what people were thinking of the trailer and stuff and immediately regretting it LMAO I'm really wishing that people who called the first third of the season garbage had just quit, because if they hated good episodes and don't understand the show as it is, they'll hate the next batch if it's also good and I'm not looking forward to the reception! I'm disappointed that it's like the book has been written on the beginning of the season. It's making me kinda spiteful/toxic and actively hope for things the fandom would hate to happen. How are you feeling about the fandom right now as the s2a lover & understander lol - arceespinkgun

I'm having the same experience as you looking at the fandom. Like holy shit, all of the complaints/fears are so baseless it's irritating.

I've seen people fearing that the Chaos Terrans' deaths won't be acknowledged/mourned... for some reason? It's such nonsense and completely ignorant of the strong family theme in EarthSpark and how it deals with interpersonal relationships/conflict, and the fact EarthSpark does reference/mention earlier events. That's not even mentioning that the Maltos are literally shown to care about them.

I've seen lots of people hoping that their headcanons come true and... I really think people need to understand that EarthSpark isn't written like how fanworks are written. I feel like for EarthSpark's fandom it's such a prevalent mindset, for some reason? I don't mean this in a sense of 'it's bad to have headcanons' but rather people should see the show for what it actually presents and be able to understand why the show goes how it does.

Like, characters aren't just doing things — they're also tools used by the narrative to convey messages, themes, and morals.

It's so weird how people have been treating S2a as if it's a whole season, even before S2b was decided to be called S3. I hope people will understand that S3 is functionally S2b when it releases.

Also, the complaints about the animation quality are so overblown. The animation in the trailer and S2a's looks great to me.

People hate Decepticons being antagonists, they hate Chaos Terrans being antagonists, they hate humans being antagonists... it's so weird. It really would not have made sense for the Quintessons to come so early in the season (S2a). The Quintesson Executioner appearing, though, does make sense appearing so early because it helps set up for the Quintessons to arrive later, as does Terratronus.

In S1 there was not set up for Quintessons to arrive in S2. There was, however, set up for Terratronus with Mandroid alluding to her in S1E25-26 The Last Hope with "... you have no idea the power that's been lying beneath your base all these years" "Showing you the weapon it's perched upon" when he uses the CyberSlayer on the Space Bridge. Then in S2E01 Aftermath Starscream says "Beneath Witwicky lies a tremendous weapon" which calls back to Mandroid's allusion to Terratronus; and when Starscream is talking to the Decepticons about making New Cybertron in S2E09 Witwicky the framing calls back to Mandroid's moment again when the Witwicky Tower (the defunct Space Bridge) is in frame — where we know Terratronus lies beneath.

Like, the way the series is building up to the Quintessons is great and cohesive if you look at the actual story that's being told!

Chances are the scripts for these next episodes were finished before S2a was released, so I really hope I don't hear an utterance of "retcon!" or "they fixed xyz!" when these episodes are released.

EarthSpark S2b/S3 will be great and I hold no reservations about it, regardless of the rest of the fandom.

There's so many weird fears about what characters might not be present... like y'all... the trailer did not show everybody. The entire cast not being in some episodes/shots or synopsis does not mean xyz characters won't appear.

Honestly, a lot of what I read from people makes me wonder how much people understand about how to analyze media or how series are written. Like, I'm no king of analysis or whatever myself, but why are people unable to understand why certain choices or directions are made? It's weird how people are acting as if S2a is just sooo incongruent with S1 when that's really not the case at all if you go back and look — truly, like you said, it makes me wonder why people keep sticking around if they hate the story being told. I mentioned characters being tools of the narrative, and it really feels like people don't understand that when they're analyzing EarthSpark.

I'm currently reading Marvel UK G1 Transformers and EarthSpark's S1 established the Decepticons with such similar, or even verbatim, sentiments. But even without them the Decepticons' perspective in the show was clear to me.

Is it really surprising the Decepticons, who never valued/liked Earth or its inhabitants or the Autobots or the Maltos/Terrans, would fight the Autobots and Maltos/Terrans for the Embershards — the Embershards, which are key to building/securing themselves a new home (so promises Starscream)? It feels like people don't consider the characters' perspectives and their relation to the world/others around them when it's such an important part of analysis. And the necessity of conflict in a story.

I really don't understand how people thought the Decepticons would've turned good following S1... like it wouldn't have been warranted/earned. Now in S2b/S3, the episode synopses don't suggest the Decepticons and Autobots/Maltos/Terrans have a continued competition for anything; we do, however, see Breakdown punching SkullCruncher in the trailer which is very curious — given the setting, he's likely defending Bumblebee. I have seen people mention Aftermath in relation to Breakdown, and yeah, I wonder what Breakdown'll make of Aftermath's cruel death — some have wondered if he'll defect.

Really the main episodes I've seen people talking positively of are Breakdown & Bumblebee's and Prowl's.

It's so insane looking at a fandom and seeing a lack of actual fans and people just... not understanding the story. Hard being the S2a lover & understander in a world full of S2a haters & misconstruers! I genuinely cannot escape mentions of EarthSpark without people's dislike of S2a being the default opinion, and it's so frustrating! I know that if people do end up liking this batch of episodes, they'll follow it up with a "better than S2" which'll be annoying because S2a is the set up for S2b/S3.

I don't really have much to say about the trailer myself as I'm happy with what it shows because it looks interesting and the episode synopses sound great. The character I'm most excited for personally is Megatron, but I'll be enjoying all the others as well.

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Wondering if you or any CRM people you know have advice about how to handle not being able to actually do a job you were hired for. I got hired by a local CRM firm, very excited for it. Professor spoke well of the company. Some of my classmates got hired too. I was looking for a summer job but by the time they got back to me school was starting up. I assumed they knew I was a student due to my answer to the "can you work out of town" interview question being a prolonged "uh" followed by "not during the semester." I didn't think I was getting the job after that but they informed me I did a week before classes started. I have a very packed semester and no availability besides weekends but most of their projects are weeks long out of town stuff. I'm worried about if I'll get a bad reputation in the field by hirers if I'm basically just taking the money from training and doing no actual work. Very embarrassed by this whole situation and don't know how to handle it.

Okay, so I really have no CRM experience, but I asked @wafflelovingbatgirl for their take on the situation. Feel free to correct me or add to this as you please. @archaeologysucks and @archaeo-geek maybe you can add your perspective.

Cultural Resource Management companies are just that—companies. You're dealing with a corporate entity who sees many many applicants in a field with high turnover. The reason they offered you a job that doesn't fit your availability is the same reason why they're probably not going to be upset when you decline: they're not thinking of you as an individual, just another applicant.

Now, even though I've never worked CRM, there are two lessons I think you can learn from this.

First, next time you apply for a job (while in school) clearly communicate that you cannot work during the semester. Use those exact words—I cannot do XYZ during the [university/college name] semester. Say it to whoever interviews you, and perhaps put it in an email if it comes up.

Second, you do not owe these companies any information. Clearly they don't remember you're in school right now, and you don't have to remind them. It is perfectly acceptable for you to reply with something along the lines of "thank you for your offer, but I have since found another opportunity." This is true, and it just so happens that current opportunity is school. You could say the same thing if another CRM firm had reached out to you in the time it took this first one to respond.

Honestly, it would probably be fine if you never responded to them. Congratulations: you are now most likely on a list that they will send out to everyone who has recently worked for them. Many of those people are not going to bother responding to yet another call for field techs if they're no longer in a position to take that work.

TL;DR this isn't personal. You know that and they know that. Don't stress.

-Reid

[elijasz]

I've always really enjoyed watching critical role. But now that I'm up to date I'm watching on twitch and that means I see the chat...Half of you guys would get kicked out of normal dnd groups. Or honestly just normal friendships. complaining about backtracking, complaining about missed rules or just rules-lawyering in general, complaining that your favourite character doesn't deserve anything bad happening to them...I know you're committed but this is a show made to tell an interesting story. The rules are always, and truely always, up to the DM. That's one of the FIRST RULES you get in the official books. If Matt wanted to use none of the rules at all, then he could do that. That's entirely up to the style of the group.

Critical role uses DnD as a narrative tool to tell a story together and share it with an audience. If you're not in it for the narrative, this show simply isn't for you. There are other shows that do that. Go watch those.

Within 2 minutes I've read so many "xyz is op!", "thats not how that stupid spell works", "isn't this spell concentration?", "omg these are both concentration spells, so stupid" messages in the chat. I've read "This is annoying me so hard" and similar trash. You're not obligated to watch this piece of media if it isn't for you. Move on. Just watch something else. You're quite literally annoying af and are the reason people feel self-conscious about performing in a STORY. There is zero necessity for your comments. Nothing will change because you complain. You're only ruining it for other people because of your own personal opinions on a game people play and are kind enough to perform for us.

Imaging if you went to a theater performance and screamed any personal opinions about the play at the stage. You'd get kicked out for that. And you PAY for theater performances. Critical role is free (mostly).

Anyway, the community is toxic and I will not be looking at the comments/chat again.

[procyonloser]

I want to give writers a chance to talk about their process and influences in their writing.

The media we enjoy (or even hate) help make us who we are. We might share opinions with the media, consider the media of having a bad take, or inspire us to branch off from that idea.

So, when you write stories with more fleshed out themes or ideas, stories where there is character development, has any other media (books/tv/mythos/etc) and their topics influenced it?

For example if you enjoyed how the book ABC tackled the subject of XYZ when writing fanfiction for tv show LMNO (or orignal works) have you included your own takes from ABC? Whether on purpose or incidentally?

Have you started writing a story with the idea of a theme already in mind or would you say (if there is a theme) that it grew more organically as you wrote?

Which of your stories is your favourite? Do you have a particular reason it’s a favourite or is it just neat and you like it for an intangible reason? Any favourite scenes that you’re written?

So, I'm probably a bad person to ask about this because I do not think about my own writing process at all. That's not a bragging thing, like, you should absolutely think about your own writing process, and just in general reflect on the things you do and why you do them.

I just... don't really.

I didn't finish highschool and I haven't taken a English college level class in a good long time, (I'll have to do so probably in the nearish future though) so I feel like I don't really have the tools to describe what I'm doing. I also haven't read many books in recent years, I should but I don't. I've mentioned before that if I'm reading, my brain says I should be writing instead.

In regards to media impact, I do often read/watch breakdowns, debates, story analysis, character analysis for the things I like, just to get a sense of what makes a good character and story. I enjoy how george rr martin describes writing as planting a garden, rather than being an architect.

In regards to themes, sort of, sort of not. Eve of Adam, yes, I had the general theme set up from the beginning of the idea. I'm not personally someone who takes any issue with "gender benders", I've written them before, I'm not going to talk about my old HP fics lmao, but yes the main theme in Eve of Adam was absolutely intentional from before I started writing, but other themes arose more organically as I was writing it.

Meanwhile, Maybe This Time absolutely 0 planning, only thought it'd be a one shot. Any themes are accidental at best lmao.

As for my favorite story? I don't know, honestly. Depends on my mood. Eve of Adam is kind of like my baby, as imperfect as it is, I think MTT is pretty well written generally speaking, and I'm actually really eager to get back to Below Eden lol

[juminies]

Aside from the BE2 mischaracterisation, do you have any other fanon Jumin pet peeves?

Sure do lol, I want to preface though by saying that I don't think any particular characteristic is wrong or out of place all of the time. He can act any which way if it's for a reason and he can do things he otherwise wouldn't if a specific situation calls for him to. Sure he wouldn't fucking say that usually but he might if he was stuck and you can definitely explore that! Even his route itself is an example of him being pushed to his limit and acting in a way he usually wouldn't, and both he and his friends point that out frequently. This to say that me saying I don't like it when people interpret him as xyz doesn't mean him being written that way is inherently bad, so don't let me discourage you from writing. Anyway!

I think I've mentioned most of this at some point or another, and honestly I feel like a lot of his most common mischaracterisations do stem from the same place BE2 comes from. Any part of him being incredibly domineering or overly possessive, making big decisions without consulting MC, trying to limit who she talks to, being suspicious of her, etc. On the contrary he is very much at her beck and call. Her happiness is his. He's not going to be immediately perfect but being protective does not inherently mean being controlling and I think it's a fine line that people can trip over very easily.

Kind of continuing from that, I dislike it when people think he's too demanding on a professional level. It's often to the point of people calling him abusive, and while I can't deny that he's strict and impersonal and often a bit oblivious to larger structures at play, on the whole he's respectful of the people that work for him and genuinely values their contributions to the workplace. He wants everything done to the highest possible standard and I understand it can at times have negative repercussions, but he's not just an unreasonable dick who gets off on the power imbalance.

I'm also really not a fan of people believing him to be overly traditional i.e. the very socially conservative, strict gender roles, no sex before marriage, children must attend church type. It just doesn't make sense. It's taking smaller aspects of his character or things he says out of context and blowing them out of proportion—into something they're simply... not? Even the things he does say directly (eg. not living together before marriage) could be swayed easily under the influence of his fiancée.

Sure he likes things done efficiently in a way he knows works, but he is both very knowledgable and repeatedly shown to be very open to learning. He's curious and asks questions and will try and understand things to the best of his ability, even when they're entirely unimportant. If he's made aware of his ignorance he will not continue to push it (unless you're Zen, maybe). Jumin is not stubborn if he has no reason to be! He is very much pliable. You can tell him off and he'll listen. He wants to hear your side of things. He likes it when people disagree with him; a fan of some healthy debate, if you will. And he is not!! selfish!! So much of what he does is for others. He very rarely puts himself first. He's trusting and beyond loyal and goes out of his way to make sure his influence/knowledge/money are used for good the minute he deems it necessary to help those around him.

It annoys me when people act as if he's clueless and sort of just sits back and lets his status do the work for him. There seems to be this narrative of him being foolish and relying on others to get him by but that is absolutely the opposite of what he's really like. His intelligence and resourcefulness are not just a façade created by his disposition or the way he was brought up. He tells MC himself that his father wouldn't have put so much trust in him if he wasn't capable of handling it. He really wants her to believe in him because he's used to people wrongly assuming. It's not like he's just the heir and has little to no role, or even that he only oversees a department or two. He has a VERY high position in the company and easily excels at it. Jaehee herself (who people tend to see as the overworked one) admits that Jumin works significantly more than she does. He's the director of a global conglomerate in his twenties and takes it in his stride.

Last but not least he is far from unemotional. He's just good at detaching himself from his feelings and viewing them objectively. It does not!!! mean he does not feel or he does not care 💜

[system-of-a-feather]

You know, I honestly do think people would greatly benefit from taking some time to deeply reflect on the known idea that "one of the key point ways to radicalize into a dangerous, harmful, bigotted, and sometimes fascist (NOT CLAIMING THAT IT IS INHERENTLY, JUST THAT WE KNOW IT PLAYS A ROLE IN RADICALIZING FASCISM I DO NOT PISS ON THE POOR) is to create an 'us' vs 'them' way of thinking." Like this is tumblr dot com, yeah there are some people who don't know that and/or disagree with that, but I'd like to think the sensible majority of us who are on the trans gaysex website have heard that be said and have at least mostly agreed with it.

And yet, even then, we have some of the most pointless discourse that is fundamentally built on this "us vs them" ideology. The same "they are ACTUALLY [emotionally and morally charged claim] and are DANGEROUS to live and let be". "[Insert Group] is ACTUALLY a [insert claim that generates fear] because [semi plausible claim and/or over generalization of a few people]." "[Insert Group] wants us dead / gone / silenced and will not stop until this or that and can not be trusted when they say otherwise"

Like, I'm pretty sure this is in queercourse / LGBT discourse, proship related stuff, and all that general way too online internet discourse, but the one I'm most familiar with is syscourse so I'm going to use that as a reference and talk specifically to that audience.

If you are reading this and go "Oh you are vagueing XYZ of [this group] because they literally say those things", I'm sorry to tell you this literally had at least half of the regular syscourser names in my mind - from BOTH sides.

Honestly, I feel if we just really stopped using labels to put OURSELVES into us-vs-them categories that people can immediately box us one place or another, it'd do everyone a lot better in having productive conversations cause you'd actually kind of need to, ya know, talk to a person before you inherently decide that they are the "enemy who wants to take things away from you and silence you."

Nine out of ten times, people just want to live, want to be able to exist and have human decency, and are just generally scared. I'm sure there are some bad apples out there that explicitly do want to actively cause harm to other people for no good reason other than its funny, cause yeah, they obviously exist - but I've come to find most people, even the most aggressive and vocal people, are scared and often isolated and thus trapped in this cycle of discourse.

There is a lot of benefit to be found by taking time to sit, pull off all the assumptions you've made about a person, and just genuinely give space and time to have a genuine, best faith, private discussion about what matters and drives them. If there are people who you think you know their opinions, thoughts, and reasons for doing and saying what they do from just their online public presence, you are honestly probably humorously wrong.

And that isn't to say I'm exempt from it, cause I liberally block at the slightest annoyance which - while minimizing negativity on my dash also happens to shut down any room for any deeper understanding of a person - is good because no one is entitled to you going out of the way to understand them and their perspective, especially when they are actively putting things out that make you feel stressed, annoyed, and/or concerned.

It also isn't to say there is any reason or internal dialogue that fully excuses toxic behavior on it's own. No one is entitled to your forgiveness either, especially if they don't make amends on their own effort.

It's all just to say that I think people would benefit a lot from sitting down and spending some time thinking to themselves what it means, why it is, and how it appears chronically in social communities the "us vs them" mentality and how that ends up causing unhealthy and toxic behavior.