#and honestly I don’t think kids younger than high school should even be at an Olivia Rodrigo concert in the first place

[queen-esther]

Lol. Plan B, condoms, and lube were being given out for free at Olivia Rodrigo’s concert, and it was announced today that that would stop, because, according to Rodrigo’s team, there are children who attend her concerts.

On Reddit, people are completely ignoring this explanation and crying about how it must have been the evil anti-choicers being terrorists by threatening the lives of Rodrigo and her fans, Republican politicians forcing Rodrigo to stop doing this, conservative backlash, blah blah blah. The few people who are acknowledging what her team actually said are still mad, because “Who cares if a kid sees a condom or a box of plan B at a concert? Nine and ten-year-olds need to be taught about safe sex!”

In other words, pro-lifers are being blindly accused of terrorism based on…literally nothing, and Redditors continue to be weirdly obsessed with introducing kids to sexual content. More news at nine!

[blegh-110]

ii. "you told me i was pretty when i looked like a mess" | Sam Monroe

Pairing: older brother's best friend!Sam Monroe x fem!reader

Summary: Best friend’s older brother!Sam Monroe who you could always count on when you were 13 and he was 15.

Warnings: None

Word count: 976

Next Part

Your hands shook as you applied some tinted lip balm, the tube almost slipping out of your hand because of the sweat forming. 

It was the night of the school’s winter dance, and you were asked to go with a boy who was in your Spanish class. He sat in front of you and always asked to copy your homework, and you’d oblige because every single time he’d say “you’re amazing” and “what what I do without you?” And the occasional tease, “these better be right, or i'm gonna have to ask someone else.” 

It felt too good to be true when he asked you to go with him to the dance, but he was just so nice to you when you saw him. In the end, it was too good to be true when you overheard his friends ask him why he chose you and not the girl he actually liked. 

“She’s been letting me copy her homework, I thought this could be like a ‘thank you’.” 

“But it’s fucking awkward, none of us know her, our dates don’t either, and she’s not really talking. She's just there.”  

You did feel out of place the entire time. Apparently the girl he liked was friends with the other guys dates, they all ran in the same circle and you were the odd one out. While they had their inside jokes and well established friendships, you barely knew your own date. And he didn’t really bother to include you. So you did end up just sitting and listening and wishing you could partake. 

The second you found out his true reasoning to ask you out, the tears came and you wanted to go home. But how? Your date’s mother was the one to drop everyone off. Your brother was out with his girlfriend, and you knew he’d be pissed if he had to leave and pick up his crying, little sister. And the last thing you wanted was to get bombarded with questions from your parents if you did go home so early. 

You called the only person you could think of. You weren’t sure what the plan was, but you just didn’t want to be alone. 

And just seeing him, someone who you feel safe in the presence of, you run into his arms and let the tears flow. It was hard to make out from your watery explanation, but he understood what happened and held you just a little tighter. Despite his anger, there was nothing he could do. They were still in middle school and Sam was a sophmore in high school, he’d look like the loser if he went inside and beat up a kid two years younger than him. 

“Oh, god.” You said as you wiped away your tears only to see the blackness from your mascara. You could only wonder how pathetic you look. This was supposed to be a special night, and it had barely begun before it turned into the worst night of your life so far. 

“Stop that, you still look pretty.” He wipes your cheeks with his long sleeve, trying to wipe away your mascara but really just dragging it around. 

“Thanks.” You whisper, not really believing it.  

“No, I’m serious. You got that kind of Courtney Love-Hole look, y’look cool.” He leaned back to get a better look at you and smiled. You loved when he smiled, when he was happy and sweet, especially towards you. And in the moonlight, he was even more handsome.

With it being winter and cold outside, Sam gave you his jacket and slung his arm around you as he began to walk you home. You thought you could die at that very moment and be the happiest girl in the world. 

“So what should I do to whats-his-stupid-fucking-face?” He knew wasn’t going to do anything to the kid, but he wanted to lift your mood. You smiled and shook your head. Honestly, you wanted nothing to do with him but you played along.

“Just punch him real hard in the face, I want it to be swollen and ugly.” 

“Yeah, yeah that’s good. And let’s take his money, I’ll- no listen to me,” he interrupted himself at your snort and continued, “I’ll kick the back of his knees, hold him down, then you take the five dollars out of his pocket, got it?” 

You giggled as you imagined it, kicking the back of his knees. You saw him do it to your brother after he slapped the sunburn on your shoulder and that was the most you had ever laughed. You’ll never forget your brother’s shock and pointed finger to the smaller slap mark on his back, “she did it to me first, look!”

“Nah, she wouldn’t do that.” 

“And we’ll get hot chocolate with the money.” And he pointed to your favorite cafe and walked towards it. 

“Sam, wait, I don’t have any money on me right now.”

“That’s okay, it’s on me. Something good has to come out of tonight.” He dragged you to the building, and in there he bought you a hot chocolate with extra milk. Which was something you appreciated because you burned your tongue really bad drinking your hot chocolate a few weeks ago and he saw. 

What followed was some talking about movies, music, and embarrassing stories(your favorite one being that he fell off his chair in class because he was leaning backwards). Then a trip to the park where you two spun on the merry-go-round until you couldn’t see straight or stop laughing. 

And when he finally took you home, he gave you a short peck to your head and wished you a good night. It was that moment you believed he liked you as well, and you dreamed of what it would be like to be boyfriend/girlfriend with him.

banner by @dollywons

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Bruno Roy, various Roys (Morgan/Theo); contraband

For the prompt: Does Bruno Roy notice the tension between his poor rookie and Theo in the house?

Bruno would like to think he’s a pretty observant fellow. His teammates would certainly describe him that way. He’s been keeping an eye out for his younger teammates practically since the start of his career, and that takes paying attention, because fuck knows most of those guys would rather get their teeth knocked out than actually ask for help.

His wife would probably disagree, though. She’s the one who notices what’s up with the kids, always filling him in. He doesn’t know if that’s because she's more observant, or if it's because he spends close to half of his time on the road during the regular season, sees his kids less than his teammates, most of the time.

If that’s it there’s nothing he can do about it, and honestly, the last time he was around for an uninterrupted stretch, laid out with a groin injury, his kids were as happy as him when he got cleared to play, and Celine was the happiest of all. He is, he’ll admit, not very good at staying still, and there was a lot more of that than he’d like on bed rest. He’s best in motion.

But with three of his kids firmly in the teen years now, the problems are multiplying. Matt barely leaves his room unless food or school’s involved, and there’s a hell of a lot of reluctance on the school thing. Alexia’s reached the baffling stage of teenage girlhood Bruno won’t even pretend to understand, where everything that used to make her happy makes her mad instead, plus her friends are all dicks. Celine puts it a little more diplomatically, but they’re in agreement on that one.

And Theo, well — Bruno thought the hard part was over after Theo came out to them, and it mostly was — before that he and Celine spent an entire year debating whether they should tell him they knew or wait until he was ready to tell him, and they were getting precariously close to the first one when he sat them down.

But now Celine says something’s up between Morgan and Theo, and scoffs at him when he says he hadn’t noticed. He’s sure she’s not wrong, and he might worry if it was anyone else billeting with them, but Morgan? Morgan’s the opposite of a worry.

“Morgan’s a good kid,” Bruno says. “It’ll probably work itself out.”

“It hasn’t yet,” Celine says. “And it’s been awhile.”

“Can’t be that bad if I haven’t noticed it,” Bruno says, and that’s when he learns just what his wife thinks of his observational skills.

Frankly, he doesn't think she needed to laugh that loudly.

*

Bruno keeps an eye out after that. Not that he doesn’t keep an eye out, but, you know, he keeps a focused eye. Like the difference between casually watching a game and scouting the opponents. And of course, now that he’s paying close enough attention it’s pretty obvious that as usual, Celine is right.

‘The vibes are off’, as he’s pretty sure his kids would say. Also pretty sure that they’d call him embarrassing for saying it, like he doesn’t share a locker room with kids barely older than them. Houses a good number of them too, though thankfully it’s been one at a time. They’re all good kids — his teammates and his children — but they can be, well —

Matt slinks out of the kitchen, hunched over in a hoodie, arms wrapped around his torso. Bruno doesn’t need to be around 24/7 to recognize that trick. And unless Matt’s suddenly gained a significant amount of weight in one area and one area only, Bruno suspects he’s smuggling something. A bag of chips, Bruno believes. Family size too, it looks like.

“Matt,” Bruno says from his spot on the couch, and Matt guiltily pauses, one foot on the stairs. “No chips before dinner. Also, no eating in your room. Take your pick on which rule you’re breaking.”

“I don’t have chips,” Matt says.

“You pregnant?” Bruno asks, and Matt sighs and pulls a bag of chips from where he’s been hiding them under his hoodie. They keep the AC on high, but not that high: hoodie is an immediate tip-off smuggling’s happening. Well, that or that his kids have been in Texas too long.

“I could have been pregnant,” Matt mutters as he goes up the stairs, which is an argument so nonsensical there’s no way Bruno should be dignifying it by replying.

“No you could not have been pregnant!” Bruno says, because it’s an argument so nonsensical Bruno can’t help but reply, dignity or not.

The front door opens just in time for someone to overhear that, because of course it does. Morgan stands frozen in the doorway, wide-eyed, looking like he’s considering turning right around and walking away rather than deal with whatever he just walked into. Bruno doesn’t blame him at all. It’s kind of a wonder they keep letting him billet rookies, though Kai and Grigory did okay, he supposes, considering the level of Roy exposure they got. Morgan’s struggling. He’s too nice a kid for his own good, honestly.

“I was talking to Matt,” Bruno says.

“Um,” Morgan says, then smiles weakly without asking a single question, even though he must have a dozen of them. Too nice for his own good, like Bruno said.

“He was smuggling chips,” Bruno says.

“Under his hoodie?” Morgan asks, relaxing, before shutting the door behind himself and slipping off his shoes.

See? In this house hoodies are only used for smuggling. Even Morgan knows it, and he’s only lived here a few months.

“I didn’t know I lived with the KGB!” Matt yells from upstairs.

“That doesn’t exist anymore!” Theo calls from the kitchen — Bruno didn’t even know he was there, but say something wrong and he’ll appear from nowhere just to correct you, like a genie that provides fun facts instead of wishes. Also not so fun facts. Usually they’re not actually fun facts.

“I’m sure they haven’t stopped spying or anything,” Theo says as he comes into the hallway. “They just changed their name.”

“Thank you, Theo,” Bruno says.

“You’re welcome,” Theo says, then, “Um.”

“I’m going to,” Morgan says, then heads upstairs without actually finishing the sentence, taking the stairs two at a time.

Okay, if it’s been like this the whole time, maybe Celine was right to cackle.

“Anything you want to tell me about?” Bruno asks.

Theo’s eyes dart toward the stairs, and Bruno swears he can see him debating whether it’s a better idea to flee, and potentially look like he’s following Morgan upstairs, or stay where he is and have to answer Bruno’s questions.

Looks the exact same in his house as it does the locker room, and Bruno’s roster has been young enough, in recent years, to see that struggle plenty of times, guys in a snit with each other, stuck on the road. Worst case is when you’re pissed at someone and they’re right ahead of you getting onto the plane. No choice but to follow, and if you’re going anywhere cold, you’ve got to deal with them putting their shit up in the overhead bins.

“Got homework,” Theo says, and retreats back into the kitchen. Bruno had forgotten about option three. That was an oversight, especially when it’s Theo: he always seems to pick the option Bruno hadn’t considered.

“Did you want—“ Bruno says, cut off by Theo’s “No thanks, it’s due tomorrow, bye!”

Bruno sighs, eyeing the stairs himself, then decides to go sit back down. If intervention is needed, he needs to call in the cavalry first, because he’s all out of ammo.

He's got chips now, though. So at least he's got that going for him.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Find Your Way Back Home: Part One

Pairing: No Pairing (for this part)

Word Count: ~2.5k

Warnings: minor angst?

Summary: You're tired of living and not doing anything with your life. The group home you're in doesn't provide many opportunities to go out and find yourself, so when you meet Sam and Dean Winchester, you fall into the hunting life. Best thing to ever happen to you, honestly.

Author’s Note: This is the first part of six parts of the commission for @winchester-sinchester. Dean is eighteen, the reader is ten, and Sam is fourteen.

x

Kids climb the jungle gym savagely trying to outdo one another. Kids swing high on the swingset to the point where they might fall off and onto their asses. That's something you’d like to see. Parents are seated on the bench with phones in their hands or to their ears, calling out to their kids to get back up once they’ve fallen.

You should be having fun out there with the rest of them but you’re off to the side by yourself away from it all. You’ve always been an outcast in your group home. It’s better than being the center of attention. There is a whole forest surrounding the park, a forest that must have secrets of its own. Secrets that are begging to be found by someone like you. All the parents including your fake ones are too busy on their phones to notice what’s going on, so you sneak off towards the forest without a look back.

You’re not going to go too far since the forest is pretty big and you don’t want to get lost so you always stay far enough into where you can see the park if you were to look behind you. You take two steps to the right when you hear gunshots and bottles shattering. You veer off the path a bit until you come to a clearing where two boys are. One of them looks old enough to be in high school and the other looks like he is just starting high school.

The younger one aims the gun in his hands at the bottles before shooting, and the glass shatters everywhere. They’re far enough away from the park where the noise isn’t going to be a bother to the kids playing. This neighborhood isn’t the best anyway, so gunshots aren’t unheard of here. The younger kid shoots another bottle which prompts you to walk closer to them.

“Can I join?”

Both boys jump out of their skin when they hear you, and the older one narrows his eyes.

“Beat it, kid.”

“Let me shoot just one.”

“I’m not gonna ask again.”

“Just because I’m a kid doesn’t mean I can’t shoot a gun.”

The older kid turns to you and crosses his arms to look intimidating but it doesn’t work.

“How old are you?”

“Ten.”

“Where are your parents?”

“Dead.”

The older boy thinks for a second before nudging the younger one.

“Give her the gun, Sammy.”

Sammy hands you the gun handle first so his hand is wrapped around the barrel. You take it and step to where he once was before aiming. Years of using your fake dad’s guns are finally paying off. You hit the third, fourth, and fifth bottles with precision, shocking both boys.

“I’m impressed. Where did you learn to shoot?” the older one asks and grabs the gun from you.

“My dad who is not really my dad has a cool gun collection. He doesn’t notice when we get into them. Not like he’d care anyways.”

“Your dad who is not really your dad?”

“Yeah, my parents died when I was two or three. I’ve spent my time in a group home ever since. The mom doesn’t really stick around a lot. I think she’s only with her husband because of the money he gets from all the kids he has. The dad is cool so as long as you don’t piss him off. Like I said, he lets us use his guns for target practice so that’s cool.”

“I’m Sam,” the younger one smiles. “That’s my brother, Dean.”

“Nice to meet you, Sam. I’m Y/N.”

Dean’s phone chirps and he checks it immediately.

“Shit, we have to go.” You get kind of sad at the thought of not hanging out with them anymore. “See ya, kid.”

Sam and Dean leave the bottles where they are and leave with the gun. You have no choice but to go back to the park, your fake parents having no clue you even left. There is something about the brothers that sticks with you even after a few days have passed. You can’t wait to see them again, so when your fake parents take the kids back to the park, you run over to the same place last time.

Sam and Dean are in the same spot shooting bottles once again.

“Hi, Sam. Hi, Dean.”

“Hey, Y/N,” Sam smiles and shoots another bottle.

“Question. Why is Sam the only one shooting?”

“Sam needs the practice,” Dean answers.

“Why? Why are you shooting to begin with?”

“Because we have free will.”

“What do you want to shoot at later?”

“Do you always ask a lot of questions?” Dean asks you.

“Only when I’m curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

Despite how cagey Dean is toward you, you like being with them. They’re a lot better than the kids at the group home.

“Can I try shooting again?”

“No, Sammy needs to do this.”

“It’s Sam,” the younger brother grumbles.

“Just shoot.”

Sam gets in a few good shots before lowering his weapon.

“I’m good, Dean. I’ve been doing this for weeks.”

“Oh, you think you’re ready now, huh?” Dean looks at you who stares at him with wide eyes. He looked like he was going to continue with the threat, saw you, and backed down. “Come on, we should be leaving.”

“You just got here,” you complain.

“Kid, we have shit to do. Sammy, come on.”

Dean walks away but Sam stays where he is. He takes out the phone his dad allowed him to have for emergencies and hands it over to you.

“Put your number in. We can talk later.”

“Okay,” you smile. Dean turns back and sees this. He lets Sam have his friend and this moment. When you’re done, you hand it back to Sam. “Text me.”

“I will.”

Sam runs off with his older brother, leaving you alone. This time, you head back to the park with a smile on your face. The days after are spent with your face in your phone texting Sam. You keep asking about Dean but he doesn’t say much about him. Sam is nice and is your first real friend, and you’re not going to let someone like Dean scare you away from him.

A week later, you’re lying on your bed reading a worn-down book when your phone rings. The group home has a small library filled with books that are well out of your reading range in the opposite direction. They’re all kid books but they pass the time. You smile when you see Sam’s name pop up on the screen.

“Hi, Sam,” you answer.

“Hey, we’re outside. Wanna go to the beach?”

You scramble off the bed and look out the window to see the shiny black Impala waiting outside. With a grin, you grab your jacket and meet the brothers in the car. Sam is sitting in the backseat to give you the front while Dean is behind the wheel. His father gave him this car when he turned eighteen, a car he is in love with having.

Dean takes off to the nearest beach which isn’t far from where you’re staying. Since you’re much closer to Sam’s age than Dean’s, he lets you two have your fun in the sun while he stays back and keeps an eye on you two.

“Is he always this serious?” you ask and make a pile of sand.

“Yeah. He can be a hard-ass but he’s a good guy. He’s looked out for me my entire life.”

You look back at Dean to see him watching you with a close eye. He doesn’t want you and Sam to get close because then he’d have to break both your hearts when they up and move to the next town. John is working a demon case not far from here that has been taking a few weeks which is why they haven’t moved away yet.

When the sun got too much to bear, Dean took you and Sam to get ice cream across the street. The cold treat is a nice stark to the hot summer sun.

“So, do you guys have parents?” you ask as you eat.

“Mom died when I was a baby,” Sam answers for Dean. He knows he doesn’t like talking about Mom. “We just have a dad.”

“What does he do?”

“Something that moves us around a lot. As soon as he’s done, we won’t be here anymore,” Dean says.

He might sound harsh but he has to make you understand Sammy isn’t always going to be here. He doesn’t want to involve a kid in this life even if was forced onto him and Sam. You hear the sternness in his voice. That’s a stop-asking-questions-before-you-get-hurt stern.

You and Sam keep texting well after the beach date just because it’s nice to have a friend even if you’re four years younger than him. You’re well beyond your years, something the group home forced upon you. The kids here are worse than the parents because they’ll hurt you without a care in the world while the parents have some sort of heart when it comes to kids.

One night when you can’t sleep, you grab your phone and text Sam in hopes that he is up. He’s usually pretty quick with his responses. The past couple of weeks, he’s been answering late at night because he can’t sleep. He claims the monsters in the closet are going to get him. Ten minutes go by and you start to grow worried.

Your fake parents aren’t going to notice if you leave, so you decide to go over to where they’re staying and see if they’re okay. You pack light with only what you can carry and sneak out through the window. Luckily your bedroom is on the first floor. You take a rock and place it on the window sill to keep the window from closing and locking on you. You’d really rather not sleep outside.

The reason you are able to hang out with Sam and Dean almost every day is that they live so close to your group home. You keep to the shadows in case anyone is out at this time. You don’t want a repeat of what happened last time. You got caught and woke up your fake dad. He wasn’t happy, to say the least.

You get to the motel they’re staying in and find their room on the second floor easily. You knock three times and wait three minutes but no one comes out. You knock two more times but decide that it’s easier if you break in. Your fake parents like to keep things hidden so you’ve gotten good at picking locks.

You get into the room in two minutes but no one is inside. The beds are messy as if someone was sleeping in them recently. It doesn’t look like foul play since nothing is out of order. However, there is an entire wall of news clippings about the murders that have been happening in town.

Bodies Drained Of Blood. Vampires? Are Our Kids Safe? BEWARE MONSTERS AT WORK.

Many articles about the murders in town all point to a single kind of monster: vampires. Alongside the news articles are pages from books about vampires. Lore about vampires. What makes them tick, what makes them dead, and everything in between. Is this what Sam and Dean have been doing while in town? Is this the kind of work their dad does that causes them to move around a lot? Hunting vampires across the country?

There are vials on the desk in the back filled with some kind of blood, and you look at the notes next to it. Dead Man’s Blood. Nearly lethal to vampires. There is an address for the old Mill on the outside of town. That’s where Sam and Dean are, you bet. You grab a few vials of Dead Man’s Blood and leave the room. It takes longer to get there since you’re a ten-year-old on foot but you make it in record time.

You’ve been here a few times with your older siblings while they smoked weed and played Indie music. Even before walking inside, you can hear the screams of people coming from inside. You quickly sneak inside and follow the sounds of despair down to the basement. You haven’t seen John but assume he is somewhere here fighting off vampires.

In the basement is another vampire with a terrified Sam and Dean (more so Sam than Dean). Sam is clutching his older brother while Dean holds a machete in his hands trying to protect  Sam. They haven’t seen you yet otherwise Dean would be trying to protect you too.

“Give it up, kid. You’re not getting out of here alive.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” you say from behind them.

You jump onto the vampire’s back and slam the syringe of blood into his neck. The vampire grabs at you to fight you off, only managing to throw you off him. You knock into the wall with a grunt as the vampire goes down. Dean runs at him and swipes his machete into his neck.

That’s when John comes down with a bloody machete sling over his shoulder. He grins at his sons before noticing you.

“Where the hell did you come from?”

“She saved us, Dad,” Sam says.

“How did you know where to find us?”

“The news clippings on your wall. You’re very thorough.”

John doesn’t like that you’ve been inside his room and looking through his things, but he will deal with it later.

“Get to the car. I’ll meet you there,” John orders his eldest son.

Dean takes you and Sam outside while John gets rid of the bodies so that no one will know what happened there.

“So, this is what you really do? Kill monsters?”

“Yeah,” Dean sighs.

“Not sure I believed in vampires until tonight. Is that the only monster out there?”

“No. This world is filled with monsters from your worst nightmare.”

“Dean, don’t scare her.”

“She’s the one who broke into our motel room, stole from us, followed us here, and took down a vampire.”

“Is this why Sam is the only one shooting?”

“He needs the practice,” Dean says and shoves his hands into his jacket pockets.

You look around the place and think about what you’ve just gone through. That was more thrilling than anything you’ve ever done in the group home.

“Okay, I’m in.”

“Kid, go home,” Dean rolls his eyes.

“What home? I don’t have one. Do you think they care about me? They only care about the paycheck I bring in. I have to fight other kids, older kids, just for a slice of damn pizza most days. I hate it there.”

“Dean,” Sam whispers and nudges his brother.

Only Dean can make this decision. If it were up to Sam, you’d already be in the car. John might not be keen on having another kid with him if Dean says yes, but he’d come around once he sees how resourceful you can be.

“You got heart, kid. You can’t come with us but that doesn’t mean you can’t help. I’ll give you some books to read. Do your homework and maybe you can help us on the next hunt we have.”

“Deal,” you smile.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[tojiscumdumpster]

CHAPTER EIGHT - READER

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

 Today has literally sucked every single last bit of energy I had left inside of me. Dark coffee with six packets of sugar and a fruit bowl could not have prepared me for the day I had. 

 I’m not sure if it’s because I stayed up late last night to put together lessons or how active my students have been during classes, but a bottle of wine is well needed right now. 

 Days like this make me want to quit my job and move out of the country. Usually, I would feel this way if I was teaching elementary school kids. Not high schoolers. 

 Sometimes they refuse to listen to you. Somehow, they magically forget about their homework, so they beg for an extension. And a lot of times they talk while they’re supposed to be silent reading. 

 It’s overwhelming being a teacher. Anyone who does it, is simply for the passion because the pay isn’t the greatest. 

  Thank goodness for my savings. 

 Anyways.

 I’m ready to go home. This parent-teacher conference is going on longer than expected, and it absolutely has nothing to do with the divorced single dad in front of me that won’t stop flirting. 

 Cons of being a younger teacher. Dads. Lots of them. Some are handsome, but I didn’t become a teacher to be hit on while trying to discuss their child’s grades and curriculum. 

 “Mr. Anderson, your son has been falling behind in class,” I begin. “He’s been on his phone lately and tends to talk over students while they're reading.”

 “I see. I’ll be sure to talk to him about that, Mrs. L /N.”

 I give him a tight smile— “Miss, —” correcting him. “Any other questions? I believe we discussed enough these past ninety minutes.”

  Even though the conferences are expected to last only thirty minutes, max, forty-five . 

 “Apologies thought a woman as attractive as yourself would be married,” he says with a smile that might’ve been charming if I was drunk, but right now—it makes me cringe. 

 I nod. “Well, I appreciate your compliment, Mr. Anderson. If there’s nothing else, then I do have to go-”

 “Dinner?”

 “Excuse me?” I stuttered. 

 He lets out a nervous laugh. “Sorry. That was my failed attempt at asking you out to dinner.”

 And here I thought I almost had him out the door. Like I said, some of the dads are attractive. I can’t deny that about Mr. Anderson. Tall. Smooth skin. Nice smile. Salt and pepper hair action going on. I would say he’s probably in his mid-forties. 

 However, I’m not interested in building a roster full of DILFs to keep in my bucket whenever I need sexual relief. 

 One should suffice.

 “Mr. Anderson, although I’m flattered, it’s best to keep this professional. I don’t want to get involved with my student’s father that way. So, I’ll have to decline.” What a hypocrite I am . “Come, I’ll see you out.”

 He gets up and follows me to the door. The woman in me knows he’s staring at my ass right now, so I turn to my side. And of course, I caught him in action. 

 “Apologies if I made you uncomfortable, Miss L /N.”

 “Apologies accepted. Enjoy the rest of your day,” I tell him, sounding sarcastic as ever. 

 Actually, two bottles of wine are much needed. 

 After two more excruciating hours at school, I eventually made it home. I think to myself one day I’ll leave work before it hits four, but I guess that’s inevitable when you’re an overachieving teacher like me. 

 To prepare myself for the next day, I usually stay later than usual to lay out all my lessons. However, I think it’s time for me to use one weekend to plan a month’s worth of lessons so I can stop staying so late. 

 Isn’t this what I complained to Nanami about? I remembered being tired of him staying after hours or bringing work to our home when all I wanted to do was read a book and lay under him. 

 It seems like his habits grew onto me. 

  The irony. 

 Probably if I had someone to come home to, I wouldn’t be thinking about work after I clocked out. Being single and thirty isn’t the worst thing ever, but I honestly thought I would’ve been settled down by now.

 That was the plan with Nanami. 

 I still can’t believe the nerve he had the other day during brunch. To ask me if we could try again after I already gave him two chances? Like I would ever sacrifice my happiness just so he could get his shit together. 

 My patience is high but not to that extent, and I refuse to wait for anyone to love me properly. I just hated that it had to be that way with Nanami. 

 We felt right together. He loved me. Made me feel beautiful. Extremely kind and gentle with me. I was one of those girlfriends that would “ my boyfriend” people to death because he made me happy. 

 Our way of meeting was such a cliché and it convinced me we were going to last forever. It’s only right to feel that way in a five-year relationship. 

 But after a while, what Nanami and I built became dull. Our relationship felt more like a chore than love between two people. It was transactional in a way that benefited him more than it did me. I didn’t want that anymore. 

 I didn’t want to become a wife and bring a child into the world with the possibility of being a single mother in a marriage. Nanami knew how much I wanted to start a family together, but he chose his principal duties over us. 

 I deeply sigh. “See what happens when you drink wine, Y/N,” whispering to myself. 

 Gosh, I shouldn’t even be drinking on a school night. I check my phone to not only see that it's eight-thirty, but also to be left with no new messages or missed phone calls from…

  Toji . 

 He’s had my number since yesterday, however, I have yet to hear from him. I mean, which is understandable. He works a late night job and has a fifteen-year-old son, so I’m not first of his priorities. Though, it would be nice to hear from him. 

 Thinking about Toji Fushiguro makes me feel like a high school girl who’s excited that her crush finally notices her. His gruffness, demeanor, how he carries himself. . . It’s different. I’ve had my fair share of relationships in the past before Nanami, but I’ve never come across a man like Toji. 

 At least, I don’t think so.

 A complete stranger Toji is to me yet the comfort he gives me is weird. Weird in a good way. I can only imagine how it’ll be the more we learn about each other. That’s if he doesn’t back out. 

 Only time will tell. 

 It’s time for me to go to sleep. If I stay up any longer, I’ll finish this bottle of wine and throw my mind into a frenzy for the rest of the night. But the minute I slipped into bed, my phone rang. 

 A number that I’m not familiar with calls me and I’m left to believe it’s only one person.

 “Hello?” 

 “. . . Hey .” I know that voice from anywhere. Deep, soothing, and spreads chills across my body. 

 “Mr. Fushiguro. Calling me after school hours? I’m not on the clock, you know?” I tease. 

 He chuckles, a little more faint than usual, but still a sound I enjoy hearing. “Remember you saying I can use your number however I please.”

 “I did say that didn’t I?” I can’t help but smile and stay up a few minutes extra to talk to Toji. “What’s up, big guy? You okay?”

  “Sounds like I’m not?”

 “A little.”

 He hums. “ I see. . . How was your day? ”

 It’s clear there’s something on Toji’s mind, but I’ll listen to him when he’s ready. 

 “It was… long. Draining,” I answer. “I was close to pulling my hair out.”

 “ Want to talk about it? ”

 I sit up in my bed.  “It’s just work being work. Not much to say that won’t cause you to get tired of hearing me talk.”

 The laugh he lets out this time has a little more life in it. “ I called you to hear you talk. . . Your voice is calming. ”

  He says things like this and expects me not to feel warm inside?

 “You need some calming?” I query. 

 “. . . Maybe .” 

 “Tell me, Toji.”

 I can only picture Toji staring into nowhere to see if he wants to open up to me or not. Whatever he shares, I’ll take it and offer my comfort. 

 He sighs. “ Was trying to have small talk with the kid about school and I guess that annoyed him. ”

 “What did he say?” I asked, knitting my brows together. 

 “ That he wanted to eat in silence, so he went to his room. ” 

 “He’ll come around.”

 Toji snorts. “ Yeah, I hope so. Took him school shopping earlier and he didn’t even want to be seen with me. ”

 “Did he tell you that?”

 “. . . No, I just assumed .”

 Although Toji isn’t physically here, I give him a reassuring smile like he could see me. “Assumptions will lead you to spiral. Next time try to be around him while keeping a comfortable distance,” I tell him. “I doubt it’s because he doesn’t want to be seen with you. I mean, Megumi is an exact replica of your face. It’s not like he can hide that you’re his dad.”

 “ You’re good with your words, Y/N. ”

 “I’m good at a lot of things, Mr. Fushiguro.” My tone came off way more suggestive than I expected but fuck it. I’ll blame the wine. 

 It’s like I can hear the smile on his face. “ You can’t say shit like that while calling me Mr. Fushiguro and expect me not to get turned on. ”

 “And what if that was my intention? Maybe to help get your mind off of things?”

 “ I can think of other ways for you to help. ”

 “You called me for some late night action?” I begin baiting. “What’s next? You’re going to ask me what I’m wearing?”

 “. . .  No... Well, if you want to share- ”

 I giggle, cutting him off. “Toji, anyways.” Hearing Toji genuinely laugh makes me feel better because I know how much mending his relationship with Megumi means to him. “I think you should continue with what you’re doing. I don’t know much about Megumi, but he seems like a kid that has to warm up. Even if you’re his dad, after years of neglect, comfort isn’t automatic because you’re blood. When he feels it, you’ll know.”

 “You’re right.”

 “Your mind feels cleared?” I try to contain my yawn, but it slips outs. I don’t want Toji to think he’s keeping me up because hearing from was actually the highlight of my day.

 “ After this walk and talking to you? Yeah. ” 

 “Don’t think it’s too late for you to be walking?” 

 “ Worried about me, Y/N? ” He asks, and I can hear the playfulness in his tone.

 I shrug. “Maybe. You’re a big boy, though. I’m sure you can take care of yourself.”

 “ I’m glad you know. ”

 I admire the comfortable silence Toji and I have sometimes whenever we talk. In a way, and hopefully he feels the same, it’s like we’re soaking in each other’s energy. And maybe Toji does feel the same since he decided to call when he needed help clearing his mind. 

 “ I’m keeping you up, Miss L /N? ”

 “Hm, I don’t mind giving you some of my time,” I pick on. “Just next time, schedule a conference.”

 He keeps the banter, saying, “ I’ll be sure to do that. . . I’ll let you go, though. Need your energy saved for Friday. ”

 “You’re going to put me to work on our date?”

 “ You’ll see, ” he says, smiling. “ And Y/N? ”

 I yawn again. “Yeah?”

 “ Thank you. ” An explanation of his admission isn’t needed. I know exactly why he’s thanking me. “ Night .”

 “Good night, big guy.”

 After we disconnect, I smile and internally feel giddy inside. It’s almost embarrassing how Toji makes me feel. I can’t help myself. 

 Going to sleep will be easier these next few days knowing I have something to look forward to on Friday. 

 As I described before, Toji Fushiguro will definitely be a beautiful catalyst that I’m excited to see. 

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

discussion question #4 — reader has made it clear that she doesn't want to reconcile any romantic relationship with nanami anymore, do you think he will become an issue to reader and toji's developing relationship as the story progresses?

[artiststarme]

Oblivious Eddie

This is kind of the opposite of @ladykailitha's current story. It turned out a lot longer than I anticipated lol. Featuring the screaming match that you guys voted on! I hope you guys like it and please share your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Steve was at his wit’s end. Things were now back to normal in the summer after the supernatural happenings of the Upside Down in the spring. The older teens had graduated from high school (Eddie included), the younger kids were off at camp or work or rehab respectively, and Steve was working his usual shift at Family Video. 

He was alone today since Keith was out of town on vacation and Robin was touring the campus at Indiana State. He was bored out of his mind. The entire day, he’d had a mere four customers with plenty of time to rewind the returned tapes, organize the shelves in a way Robin would hate, and take a variety of magazine quizzes. He now knew that his spirit animal was a golden retriever, Tom Cruise would date him for his personality, and that his zodiac sign would find fortune in the next month. 

However, if something interesting didn’t happen in the next ten minutes, he was going to do something drastic like pull his hair out or something. As the minutes ticked on, he started getting worried. Steve prided himself on being a man of his word and he made a decision which meant he had to stick to it. But did it count if it was a thought to himself? Would he have to pull his hair out by the clump to prove a point to his own brain? Maybe he-

His spiral was cut off by the jingle of the door’s bell. Steve let out a sigh of relief, “Welcome to Family Video, is there anythi- Eddie! Hey man, what’s up?”

Eddie had gotten a part-time job at Thatcher Tire and was trying to bring in some money from work of the legal variety. He said it was time to make money like an honest man and develop the good habits of the working class. Steve thinks that Hopper threatened him about the drug dealing and Eddie had no choice but to abide by his rules because he was the one who cleared his name in the media and with the cops. Either way, Eddie should be at work but instead he was walking straight towards Steve with a swish to his hips. 

“Heya Big Boy, guess what.”

“What?” Steve asked in curiosity. He didn’t know what would make Eddie so happy but his face was nearly splitting with the force of his beaming grin. 

“I got a call from a concert venue in Indy and they want Corroded Coffin to perform! They said that my notoriety from Spring Break could work as publicity and bring in more people. They want us to play this weekend!” Eddie was practically jumping up and down in excitement. 

Steve hopped the counter in order to envelop Eddie in a hug, “congratulations man! What did the kids say? Are they excited for you too?”

Eddie pulled back slightly, just enough to place his hand on Steve’s shoulder and look him in the eye whilst pulling a strand of hair from its position stuck in his mouth. “The kids? I don’t know, I came directly here to tell you.”

The comment in Eddie’s earnest tone caused butterflies to flutter in Steve’s stomach. He wanted to tell him first? That’s so sweet. Then he shook his head, it wasn’t sweet. It was just a dude telling his bro some exciting news. That’s all. 

“They’re going to be thrilled, Eds! You’re going to do great, I wish I could see it.” 

“That’s kinda why I’m here. Would you, Steve Harrington, do me the honor of watching me perform the most metal concert ever in a dingy venue in Indy this weekend? I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little nervous and having you there would make me really happy.” Eddie looked at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster, trying to persuade Steve to go. And honestly, he didn’t even have to. As soon as he had told Steve about the gig, his mind started thinking over blackmail he could use to get Keith to cover his shift. 

But, as he looked into Eddie’s pleading eyes and pouty lips, all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss him. Which… what the fuck?! Steve wasn’t gay, he liked boobies! He still liked boobies! But now he thinks he liked the picture of Tom Cruise in the magazine from earlier and maybe Matthew Broderick on the movie poster over there and definitely Eddie, fuck. Steve needed to have a mental breakdown, STAT. 

“Fine, yes, I would be honored to go with you. Now, get out of here and tell the kids. They’re going to be thrilled,” Steve said as quickly and nonchalantly as he could muster in the face of his fast-approaching sexuality crisis. 

“Yay! Thanks Stevie, I swear you’re going to love it. I’ll see you tomorrow for movies and beer at mine, right?” Eddie asked over his shoulder while walking to the door. 

Steve felt like he was being strangled as he watched Eddie’s ass walking away, “yep, I’ll be there. See you later, Alligator!”

The second Eddie’s van drove out of the lot, Steve was rushing to lock the door and turn the closed sign. He needed to have a breakdown in peace. He slid down the wall of the disgusting Family Video bathroom and let the pent up sobs explode out of him. He knew he was freaking out over nothing but he couldn’t help it. It felt like in the few minutes it took for Steve to realize he liked guys, his entire world had changed. He was an outsider now, a queer, a freak. Deep down, he knew there was nothing wrong with being gay. Love is love. But why him?

Honestly, this wasn’t the worst thing he’d gone through. Yeah, he couldn’t be open with his love for another dude without being targeted which sucked. But he fought literal monsters with a bat and came out of it relatively unscathed. So this obviously wasn’t the end of the world. 

Steve tried to think of what Robin would say in this moment but couldn’t come up with anything. He felt a rush of irrational anger at her because of it. Why did she choose to tour a college campus now? She was already planning on leaving him behind and now she missed his crisis when she was supposed to be there with him? Ridiculous, some platonic soulmate she was. 

After another several minutes of freaking out, he started to calm down. This wasn’t an awful thing despite his initial thoughts. He knew Eddie was gay after one two many beers and a miniature freak out on Eddie’s part. And he knew his friends should be okay with it. And Eddie was amazing, they went through the same things, and they’ve bonded over their matching bat scars. Looking back, maybe that’s why Steve hasn’t been able to get a girlfriend in months… because he like-likes Eddie!

A plan started to form in Steve’s mind. He was going to woo Eddie and show him what it would be like to have the full ‘Steve Harrington Dating Experience’. He’d flirt, take him on dates, the whole shebang. And when Eddie inevitably fell for him, they could be boyfriends. With the plan in mind and the crisis averted, Steve left the bathroom, opened the door to the shop, and continued plotting for the rest of his shift. 

This would be a piece of cake. 

~*~*~*~

This was much harder than Steve had originally anticipated. He did not consider how utterly unobservant Eddie was or how oblivious Eddie would be to his affections. Steve had been flirting with this fucking guy for a month now and he was no closer to making him his boyfriend. 

He’d started smooth the night after his breakdown when he and Eddie watched movies and smoked weed in his trailer. Steve had given Eddie a compliment on his outfit, brought beers, and rested his arm on his shoulder during one of the scarier movies. What did Eddie do? Nothing! Steve thought he might’ve seen the barest hint of a blush when he wrapped his arm around him but it was gone before he could check to make sure. So he vowed to spend more quality time with him to be more obvious. 

The next time was at Eddie’s concert. Steve drove Eddie’s van with Eddie and the rest of the van the entire way to Indy. During the drive. They kept up conversation about metal music, summer plans, and the kids. At one point of the drive, Steve straight up grabbed Eddie’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Eddie didn’t even break his train of thought and continued speaking, rubbing his thumb along Steve’s knuckles. Steve couldn’t even focus on listening as if Eddie’s thumb rubbing circles didn’t make Steve want to stick his fingers in his mouth. Physical touch was also not affecting his guy. 

He tried words of affirmation next and those didn’t work either. His flirts initially started small. He would compliment Eddie’s clothes, his hair, or the things he liked. Then they escalated to comment on his character, his personality, and ‘how adorable he was’. Yesterday, Steve literally told him that his ass looked great in his black jeans but would look better out of them. That statement made Eddie’s jaw drop and he let out a loud guffaw before continuing his conversation like Steve hadn’t just implied that he wanted to see his bare ass. Son of a bitch. 

He was trying out acts of service when Eddie called him out. Steve had been doing the dishes at the Munson trailer while he waited for Eddie’s shift to end when he came in. And he came in hot. He slammed the door behind him and waved his hands around in flailing outrage. 

“Harrington, what the actual fuck! What are you even doing? You’re so fucking confusing!” He screamed as he saw Steve scrubbing at a stain on a white cutting board. 

Steve whipped around to look at him and narrowed his eyes. He was the confusing one? He’d been flirting with this dumbass nearly every day for a month and getting nowhere. “I’m confusing? That’s rich coming from you.”

Eddie blinked in shock before his lips pulled back in a snarl. “First of all, nothing about me is rich. Second of all, yes it’s you that’s confusing! You’ve been fucking flirting with me for weeks and no you’re doing my uncle’s dishes! That’s confusing.”

“Why is it confusing? I’m doing the dishes because you weren’t home yet and I needed something to do. I’m flirting with you because I like you. What’s confusing?” Steve was legitimately confused at this line of questioning and he really didn’t understand why Eddie was yelling. 

“You like me? Newsflash- you’re straight. You’re the straightest person that I have ever met. I don’t know why you keep flirting with me or what angle you’re trying to play here but I’m not interested in being your experiment, Harrington.” Eddie yelled at him, his finger pointing at Steve accusingly before moving to hug himself in self-comfort.   

Steve saw his discomfort but elected to act defensively and yell back at him. “I’m not straight, I never said I was and you never asked! I like both and it’s really shitty of you to try and tell me who I like when you have no idea what’s going on!”

Eddie opened his mouth to talk but Steve plowed on, “your whole schtick is nonconformity and sticking it to the fucking man but you draw the line at me liking guys and girls? Maybe I don’t like you as much as I thought I did. You’re obviously just as rude and judgmental as everyone else. And you’re welcome for the dishes, fucker.”

Eddie grabbed his arms as he went to move past. “Harrington, Steve, Stevie. I’m sorry, please just listen to me. Steve!”

Steve jerked his head to the side to glare at him. “What?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you or not be appreciative of you washing our fucking dishes. I just, I didn’t know you liked both and I was losing my mind the past few weeks because I couldn’t figure out if you were flirting with me or if it was just you being a good friend or if you were playing a prank or something. I’m sorry and I do appreciate you,” Eddie was biting his lips nervously and his hand was still wrapped around Steve’s upper arm. He looked earnest and like he genuinely regretted his actions. 

Steve sighed, “I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“I’m not uncomfortable! I was just really confused and I didn’t know what was happening. But uh, I like you too.”

Steve’s eyes met Eddie’s. “You do?”

“Hell yeah, man. You were my gay awakening in middle school. That’s why I’ve been so frustrated this past month. I didn’t know if I was imagining it or if I actually had a shot,” Eddie chuckled. 

Steve stepped closer to him and put his hand on the back of Eddie’s neck. “You definitely have a shot.”

And then, Steve pulled Eddie’s face closer to his own and their lips smashed in a kiss. Eddie groaned as their teeth gnashed in the bruising kiss. When they finally pulled apart, they pressed their foreheads together and breathed in the same air. Steve whispered, “you were my gay awakening too.”

Eddie’s answering cackles were so loud, Max came over to tell them to shut the hell up. She got a free front-row seat to their liplock and let out a scream so high-pitched that the window glass quivered before running back to her trailer. On the bright side, they wouldn’t have to come out to the kids.

@doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @straight4joekeery @trippypancakes @pyrohonk

[genshin-obsessed]

Hi Pocket! Please feel free to ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable and I'm sorry if it does! I was wondering if you have ever been in a relationship before? I'm around the same age as you and have never dated before, but I keep seeing everyone in relationships and feel like I'm behind. Do you have any thoughts or advice regarding this? Thank you for your time and I hope you have a good day!

Hiya darling ! This doesn’t make me uncomfy at all💕

Just in case anyone isn’t looking to read this , ima add a cut but my answer is below !

I have been in a relationship before , yes and I’m in one right now . It was my most serious one and it started when I was about 16 . However , it was really toxic so it didn’t end well

After it ended when I was around 19 , I didn’t date until just recently . One thing I’ve come to learn is you don’t wanna rush it . Rushing it means you’ll most likely end up saying yes to someone you aren’t compatible with or one that just isn’t good for you . That leads to other complications that just keep going .

I can understand feeling left behind . In my family most people my age are married and I’m kinda behind on that . Not only that , but a lot of my high school friends are married with kids . But for me , I’m not interested in marriage just yet . I mean I am , but not as much as you’d think . And I don’t think I ever want kids . But I get feeling like you’re the only one who doesn’t have what others have . Marriage for me almost feels like pressure from others like “well when are you getting married ?”

You should just make sure that those feelings are your own and not pushed on by others . Like , do you want a relationship or do you feel like you need to be in a relationship ? For myself (to compare) , I feel like i need to be married but I don’t want it just yet . That need is bc others keep bringing it up (parents , aunts , etc) and so it’s not my own thoughts .

Otherwise , there’s definitely someone out there for you , but I wouldn’t rush to meet them . Tho I was young , I still rushed into that relationship . And I feel like I was so desperate to be in a relationship that I let someone hurt me over and over and just accepted it . Don’t be like me .

There’s also a lot more positives to being single than in a relationship . It’s especially good if you need to work on yourself . Like maybe you feel like you need to be more patient , more open with your feelings , more comfortable with being alone , etc . Build yourself first then worry about a relationship . It’s also best when it’s natural rather than searching out of desperation . Not to say you sound desperate or anything . I just feel like I was bc I felt like all my friends were in a relationship .

Last point was never being in a relationship . There’s nothing wrong with that . Honestly , healthy and strong relationships come from experience and time anyway . Lots of relationships w you’re younger tend to fail (not all the time) due to lack of experience or maturity . Meaning , even if you don’t enter a relationship now , you’ll be better able to handle it a year from now that you would’ve when you were younger . Im definitely way smarter at 24 than I was at 20 . Or even 22 . Relationships aren’t easy and they shouldn’t be thought of as such either . But they can be fun when things go well .

You’re welcome to dm me if you’re comfortable to talk more about this but I hope I was able to help a little 🥺💖

You’re ok darling . I bet your special someone is wondering when they’ll meet you too . Probably asking a friend rn or something !

[atmilliways]

Wrong On The Money (37)

part 37 of ?? | 748 words | Teen+

Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr

Summary:

“What are you talking about? You’ve been bugging me forever about playing your little fantasy dorks game.” “Yeah, but. . . .” Dustin’s face twists up, making Steve want to apologize. Even though he’s not quite sure for what yet. “You always said no. How come you never told me you changed your mind?”

37.

“It’s like I don’t know you anymore, dude,” Dustin says as he passes Steve the loaf of bread he asked for.

Steve frowns, snapping his fingers for Dustin to slide the butter dish and knife his way too. He likes this kitchen, much more compact and practical than the one in his parents’ house, but the kid is one hundred percent in the way of getting it himself. “What are you talking about? You’ve been bugging me forever about playing your little fantasy dorks game.”

“Yeah, but. . . .” Dustin’s face twists up, making Steve want to apologize. Even though he’s not quite sure for what yet. “You always said no. How come you never told me you changed your mind?”

Oh. If Steve hadn’t already started buttering, this would be a good time for a side hug. “Sorry, man. Honestly, this wasn’t part of my plan for the day, I just kind of . . . ended up doing it. For Will.”

He knows that he’s misstepped when Dustin’s shoulder hike up a little. Okay, time to fix this.

“Remember over the summer, when the guys ditched you to be with their girlfriends instead of meeting Suzie?”

Dustin nods, leaning against the counter with a little frown as Steve works his way through every slice of bread in the bag.

“Well, they did the same thing to Will,” Steve explains, “only he wanted to play this game and they kinda crapped all over it. And then all the, uh . . . the Starcourt stuff happened, but the game stuff never really got resolved. But then all the sudden you guys start raving about the Hellfire Club and the game is back in again, except Will is off in California. It’s not anyone’s fault, but he felt left out. Wasn’t sure if he’d fit into the group again like this, with all the new people that you know and he doesn’t. Pass the cheese?”

The block of cheddar is passed over; Steve gets a sharper knife to cut slices for the grilled cheeses he’s promised everyone as a mid-game snack. Dustin watches him with a contemplative frown for a long moment.

“That’s why El said he didn’t want to come?” he asks finally. “But we told him that everybody’s cool. He’d already met Eddie, I thought. . . .”

“Think about your first day of high school, man.” Steve puts the first couple of sandwiches into the hot pan on the stove, pressing down on them with a spatula to get a good sizzle going. “New shit is intimidating, and a lot of it feels like it’s going to be make or break. What if he didn’t fit in with these new people? What if he didn’t like them but had to jam himself into place anyway to still be able to play with his best friends? Plus, there’s the pressure of making a good first impression. It’s a lot. So I offered to play as, like, a decoy or whatever.”

“A decoy,” Dustin repeats, voice flat and skeptical.

Steve shrugs. “Yeah. I already knew they weren’t going to like me, so that makes Will look better by comparison because, you know. At least he’s not King Steve.”

Dustin sighs, heavier than a kid his age should be able to. It’s his okay, this is a trauma thing isn’t it sigh. (Which seems like a little much, in Steve’s opinion. It’s not a trauma thing, it’s . . . just a thing. It’s fine.) He gets a serving plate down from the cabinet before Steve even has to ask. “Hey,” he says, softening his tone from pushy teenage friend to supportive younger brother. “You’re not King Steve anymore, we all know that.”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t in high school with me,” Steve retorts, flipping the sandwiches one by one.

“Eddie was,” Dustin points out. “But he knows who you are now and he likes you, and he calls the shots at these things. No one’s going to give you shit for stuff that happened two years ago. You’re a hero now!”It’s nice that Dustin is saying nice things about him, but if he responds to that honestly—he’s pretty sure likes is pushing it, and hero, as far as the general public is concerned, is an exaggeration—Dustin will argue with him. Steve knows this. And an arguing Dustin gets loud, and draws attention, and that’s the last thing Steve wants. So instead he just shrugs, shuffles the finished grilled cheese onto the plates, and loads the next batch into the pan.

[brianhanes]

Why Star Wars Attack of the Clones Wasn’t That Bad

A lot of times Attack of the Clones get slack from Star Wars (especially Original Trilogy fans) but it honestly was a decent film even if it wasn’t great for Star Wars standards. 

1. The Prequels faced a very high standard

As previously mentioned, the Original Trilogy is one of the best trilogies of all time. Many consider it to be the best trilogy in cinema history. They were known for having great acting, stunning graphics, and a compelling story. This means people expected to see all the same from the Prequels and anything it fell short on caused people to ignore it’s strengths.

I’d honestly argue Attack of the Clones had better pacing than A New Hope. I’m not saying it was a better movie but for me, many of the scenes that took place in the middle of the film (in the Death Star) were dull. We also need to keep in mind the Vader vs Ben Kenobi duel was poor and the movie made stromtroopers look like a joke with them constantly missing. But nostalgia can fix many things. Don’t get me wrong, the start of the ANH was very strong and the end of it (trench run and celebration scene) brought about some of the best moments in cinema history. 

2. It reduced the sting of Jar Jar

The main reason and many viewers enjoy Attack of the Clones more than the Phantom Menace is because of Jar Jar Binks. That character had constant, over-the-top comedic scenes that just weren’t funny. Many thought he killed the movie and Attack of the Clones was at least watchable in most scenes. More so, it made such an annoying character become a mature senator. He ended up being more mature than Anakin!

3. People Took it Too Seriously

This honestly is the biggest reason people didn’t enjoy the film as much as they could have. Attack of the Clones is easily one of the funniest if not the funniest Star Wars movie of all time. I watched it as a kid, so I was able to see this, and I watched it again as an adult and enjoyed it even more. It isn’t a Rogue One type of story and shouldn’t be treated that way.

4. We get to see Anakin simp as soon as it starts

When I rewatch, this scene always has me cracking up. Perhaps some people had gotten so old that they forgot what it was like to be young. If you understand what it’s like to be a teenager and young adult, then much of what Anakin does should make you laugh. I’ve known so many Anakins in my life and honestly don’t know what we’d do without them bringing flavor in this world.

Anakin loses it with Obi Wan all because he’s flipping out about some girl. But it’s not just about that, he’s a young man who wants to prove who he is. Like many recent high school grads in the work force and college graduates. Anakin at this time was 19, still a teenager who wants to rush too quickly which gets him into trouble. I myself have had to learn this lesson so many times, to slow down.

Every time I hear Anakin impulsively say, “WHY??!!” I bust out. Even Jar Jar gulps in fear when he witnesses Anakin’s outburst. And pay close attention, you’ll notice Anakin is still staring at Padme when everyone else has moved on. Lucas knew exactly what he was doing lmao.

5. Anakin is so realistic

People like to make fun of prequel dialogue even if they believed Anakin was a decent or good actor, but I have another argument, the dialogue wasn’t even that bad. At least not as bad as many people were making it out to be. For me, realistic acting is never bad acting because the point of acting is to mimic reality.

 Let us think about Anakin’s past shall we. In the last movie he was a slave. Taken away to join a group of detached monks for ten years. For all his highschool age and younger years he never learned how to deal with women he liked. He never kissed a girl, probably had no idea what flirting was, and wasn’t trained on dating etiquette. Whether people would like to admit it or not most of us wouldn’t figure out and many of us still haven’t in better circumstances found out how to talk to people we are attracted to. 

I knew awkward adults in college and high school when it came to women. Why then is it strange for Anakin to be awkward when they who at least had more opportunities to learn about dating approaches were just as awkward?

PADME!!! 

6.The first conflict was fun

I did not watch Attack of the Clones in theaters, it was a bit before my time. The first Star Wars movie I watched in theaters was Revenge of the Sith, but I was still quite young then. I don’t know how people initially reacted when the saw the movie. but it had a strong start. There was a conflict, we knew a bounty hunter wanted to hunt down Padme. Anakin had simp tension, and an epic chase ensued throughout the Corsucant streets.

7. Anakin killing the Tuskens was also realistic

Remember when I said Anakin was only 19? There are soldiers who at 19 snapped and wiped out villages. Killing men, women, and children. More so, Anakin himself is a former child soldier. Who was recruited at 9. Jedi in the Clone Wars TV series fight at 14. Anakin in a legends comic killed someone at 10 years old. Perhaps that could have been more fleshed out, but when you are fighting at such a young age your mind is at risk.

Not to mention they just killed his mother in cold blood. I also loved the scene itself. Seeing Anakin rage and slash up Tuskens was great. I thought his acting was amazing. He was clearly ticked off and people often blame others when big incidents happen (like how he blamed Kenobi). Some people criticize Padme for staying with Anakin knowing he slaughtered tuskens of all ages. But Padme’s reaction was realistic.

I recommend people watch a movie called “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” about Tina Turner. It’s incredibly underrated. Women stay with abusive men all the time. In this case, she had a clear way to justify it because they killed his mother and Tuskens had terrorized the local villages for years. The Tuskens themselves have probably cleaned out households, so while Anakin’s actions weren’t justifiable they are not surprising and remember Anakin is from Tatooine. 

For all we know, he may have heard bad stories about them for years even while he was gone away as a Jedi. He might have been anxious about his mother well before the movie.

8, Jango Fett vs Obi Wan

This fight was epic and Jango gave us everything Boba didn’t in ROTJ, an amazing fight! Jango was the first to really show us that you don’t have to be a Jedi in Star Wars to take them on.

9. Jango vs Obi Wan in Space

Ok honestly, this was one of the best dogfights in Sci-Fi history. There I said it. It was phenomenal 10/10 the entire time. And it even did things to make it stand out as a showdown such as...

10. Seismic Charges

Jango’s use of a homing rocket was also a nice addition to the space showdown.

11. No Dull Moments

How anyone can watch Anakin riding that animal until he gets bucked off without laughing is beyond me. It’s gold and the CGI only makes it more comical. 

12. The sand joke

Big deal, Anakin said sand is rough, course, and irritating. Is that not true? Sand really has all of those qualities. Is it more irritating that he said everything is smooth on Naboo, perhaps but is it that big of a deal. I’ve heard plenty of people make weird statements before and remember this is a monk who was not able to party, date, or do anything wild. 

If you live a socially deprived like you might make lame statements too. All we can reasonably expect Anakin to do well is fight well and he did that. Outside of that, we could somewhat expect him to conduct himself professionally, but there is always an immature person out there. Like many young people, rock stars, class clowns, and others. There is always that person, why can’t it be Anakin. 

13. The Droid Factory

This was a visually stunning scene with great action. We also got a good humor bit with R2 and 3P0. They are always 100 percent on character. Their argument about leaving the ship was noteworthy as well.

Also mentioning humor, when Obi Wan said he wanted to be left alone and Anakin literally wanted to ditch him after he was captured, I was in stitches. Seriously felt like a comedy skit. Padme of course does the mature thing and emphasizes that they need to rescue Obi Wan and lets Anakin know that she’ll be looking for Obi Wan. Anakin then has no choice but to also look for his master.

Maybe he was seriously, lol. Perhaps he had been nagged one too many times. Perhaps he was yanking her tail and knew Padme would insist. I guess Kenobi would have to hope that was the case. 

14. The Arena creatures

A great nod to Star Wars in general. Creatures have always been an essential part of Star Wars and Anakin never missed his mark. Especially when Anakin took command of one of them. That was iconic. 

15. The Arena Battle

Here Lucas did something really novel. In other depictions, we always only saw one or two Jedi around. Lucas gave us a scene with 200 Jedi fighting together as a group against a massive droid army. Like the Battle of Hoth, speeder chase, Mustafar duel, Phantom Menace duel, and Battle over Coruscant this was a staple moment in Star Wars. 

Though the scene itself might not have been cinema gold, the idea was. it really deserves to get remade more in Star Wars video games. I hope to see more scraps like this in Tales of the Jedi’s next seasons.

17. C3PO switched out

Hilarious, who’d ever imagine fighting him? Him nearly blasting Gunray made it even better.

18. The Clone Troopers

One of the most beloved aspects of Star Wars. What later became a staple of the Clone Wars 2003 miniseries and 2008 Clone Wars series. It all started here and there was something special about the early clones. While the second phase of clones was my favorite (episode 3 timeline), I really enjoyed the uniform, professional, and mysterious vibes we got form the early clone troopers.

19. Count Dooku

One of the most iconic, beloved, elegant, and unique Sith Lords of all time emerged. Dooku is a staple Star Wars character (like Maul, Vader, Grievous, Jango Fett, Luke, Obi Wan) who is listed in many fans top 10 Star Wars characters. Not only is he an amazing villain but he makes for a great anti-hero or anti-villain in the Tales of the Jedi tv series. And they picked someone who was 80 years old yet still seemed powerful at all moments and someone who they can still make a lot more content about in a new show.

20. Mace Windu

Mace Windu is a classic prequel character. He has been shown in countless tv shows, comics, and novels. He is known for his dogmatic nature, being a mighty force user, and exceptional duelist. Mace really shows us what it’s like to look at an intimidating Jedi Master. His showing against Jango Fett further displays his dominance. 

Dude is just OP!

21. Yoda in action

I’ve heard that people reacted by cheering in the theaters while watching Yoda’s first lightsaber duel. I remember watching the documentary and seeing how the Prequel devs created a unique acrobatic fighting style for the legendary Jedi master. He dueled in a way that made him seem terrifying and inspiring despite his size.

He showed he had the force feats and saber skills to easily match a lethal Sith Lord who just beat two top tier duelists. This was another groundbreaking moment in Star Wars much like Obi Wan’s duel with Grievous and the fight in the Phantom Menace with a double bladed lightsaber user. 

22. Geonosians

Star Wars has many fascinating cultures and races such as the Wookiees, Ewoks, Mandalorians, and Twileks but what makes Geonosians particularly inspiring is their insect like appearance. More so, most of them seem to have an ability to fly and they have unique weapons that make them lethal warriors. The vicious nature of Geonosian warriors was further explore in the Star Wars Republic Commando video game which came two years after the release of Attack of the Clones. 

23. Kamino

I don’t know how I skipped this but I skipped it. Kamino was an awesome water world. Similar to how Mustafar was an awesome fire planet and Naboo was stunning. Bespin was a gorgeous land in the clouds and Hoth was a nice arctic tundra. Kamino is another fine addition to Star Wars’s collection of intriguing locations.

24. It builds up beautifully with Revenge of the Sith

Especially the scene where Anakin has his vision and his mother dies. It really explains the peril he feels when Padme is also at risk. Anakin didn’t have a lot of people that he loved that weren’t involved in the Jedi Order. And that really matters because all the Jedi that he knew (even the ones he liked) constantly reminded him (whether intentionally or not) of the rules and obligations he desperately wanted a break from.

The scene where Anakin vows to never again let someone he loves die and how he reacts to his mother’s passing is huge. It really lays out why he isn’t willing to risk Padme’s death in Episode 3 and how his biggest issue is an inability to accept that some things are beyond his control. Furthermore, it laid out the foundation for the story of Darth Plageius the Wise.

My rating of ATOC is 7 out of 10 stars but I honestly enjoy it more than that rating.

25. Obi Wan’s sass

Ok how did I miss this? Anakin doesn’t get to hog all of the comedic points. Kenobi definitely deserves to join in on this fun. If you didn’t notice his blatant sarcasm during the “rescue attempt” I really don’t know what to tell you.

26. The Fireplace Scene

One of my friends mainly agrees with me, he tells me most of the scenes in this movie are decent. Some were a bit cringey but they made sense (like how Anakin acted around Padme) but the fireplace scene was just atrocious. I’m going to argue with him. I’m going to argue it was delicious. But seriously, this is an all or nothing scene. 

Either you love it or hate it and I love it to pieces! Perhaps not so much if you care about Anakin’s dignity, I mean he really went way to far here. Like I said, the sand quote wasn’t embarrassing, it wasn’t an odd thing to think though uncommon to express. But the I CAN’T BREATH, you’re in MY SOUL TOURMENTING ME! That would get a man ghosted very quickly.

Still, fighting in the battlefield and almost getting killed alongside each other might change things. I mean, maybe Padme was intending to ghost and friend zone until that happened. Being a hero, slashing droids in half, that definitely can win a woman over.

And to be fair, if a woman meets with you in a nice gown and you’re supposed to “protect her” I’m not quite sure what her real motives are.

27. Deathsticks

Brilliant, brilliant, absolutely BRILLIANT! Seriously, drugs in Star Wars were makes it feel much more real. But what’s even better about this is Kenobi himself uses his trademark jedi mindtrick to convince a man to clean himself up, stop selling drugs, and change his life. That’s inspiring, Lucas was dropping golden nuggets and making people laugh in a Star Wars movie. 

28. Little Boba

This was honestly a nice touch. Boba at this point in the story a goofy little kid, it added personality to his dry yet cool persona we saw in the OT. Which was appropriate for the Original Trilogy, but it is important to know that people are people, there is a reason they act however they do. 

Boba Fett yelling, “Get him dad. Get HIM. FIRA.” It wasn’t that bad and hey he was a kid, just rooting for his father. Boba also showed maturity by doing as Jango ordered without hesitation and being able to operate the Slave 1 on his own even managing to use it to hurt Obi Wan.

The most important scene here was him witnessing his father’s death, it completely explain how he became such a ruthless and cold bounty hunter later. But like his father Boba had some values, unfortunately AOTC didn’t do a good job showing the values Jango had or how he passed them down to his son.

29. Dexter’s Diner

It was a nice dive into a more casual aspect of the Star Wars universe. I felt the same way about the glimpses we got into Coruscant, the Jedi Temple, Naboo, and the public transport in the film. The nice thing about Star Wars is getting different themes and narratives each movie. it can’t be all doom and gloom like Revenge of the Sith, Rogue One, and you get it.

30. Look at what it led to

I pretty much wrapped it up but I want to add this. I’m not focusing on projects that came out Revenge of the Sith, which in my opinion was the best movie lore-wise (not in general) in Star Wars history. Attack of the Clones and the Phantom Meance may not be the best Star Wars movies by any means, but they were decent (well TPM is decent without Jar Jar) but lore-wise I think the Prequels as a whole are on another level to anything else Star Wars. 

Star Wars Republic Commando (2004)

One of the best video game series of all time. It was outright phenomenal and delved more deeply into the mysterious, sci-fi, war, and clone aspects of the Clone Wars that Attack of the Clones introduced us to.

Star Wars Clone Wars (2003) Volume 1

This series was epic and action packed. It really showed us the huge battles, vast frontiers, mysterious worlds, great array of vehicles, and different climates that were shown in Clone Wars battles. This is a distinct vibe from the later Clone Wars which has more of an episode 3 vibe. The biggest difference is by then both the CIS and Republic are much more developed and begin to fight in more populated and crowded worlds. 

The 2008 Clone Wars series initially gave us a blend of both feels that were in Episode II and III but eventually (post season 3) became more centered on the Episode III tone of war. The same was true with the second volume of the Clone Wars (which makes perfect sense) but the first volume is largely regarded as the favorite. And what really made it special was that peculiar vibe the era had, you never knew what you were going to encounter.

When invisible droids engaged Yoda on Illum or when Ventress dueled Anakin something about it was so new and fresh that isn’t easily implemented in other eras. And for good resaon, they all have something special about them.

Star Wars The Clone Wars (2002)

It was a phenomenal vehicle based video game that existed in a Star Wars setting. It had a compelling story, epic battles, unique vehicles, and diverse multiplayer modes. This game just showed how much potential the AOTC era had.

Star Wars Republic (2002-2004 content)

While Republic initially came after The Phantom Menace and many of it’s great comics were inspired by the character Quinlan Vos, much of it’s content that came after 2002 was influenced by Attack of the Clones. But likewise Attack of the Clones was influenced by the comic series. 

Many people though Aayla Secura was created in Attack of the Clones, but she actually first appeared in Star Wars Republic back in 1998. Still, the Clone Wars timeline brought many interesting storylines to this series.

[viscerast]

hey non oomf. please don’t shoot the messenger. your ex would like you to know that their dni is set up like that (and it includes kins of their comforts as well) because they are delusional and are uncomfortable with doubles. also no one is friends with your abusers anymore, because harpy is dead. she died last august. not much to say on that one but thank god tbh.

hey noomf thank you for reaching out and telling me this. id like to preface this post that no ill will goes towards you, anon, but towards PF. you're welcome to screenshot and send this post to damien if you want. very curious on how you know damien/PF but. wtv youre anon for a reason

for context, this is the post anon is talking about. also for simplicity, i'm going to be using the names i remember everyone using, but strictly they/them pronouns instead of the ones i remember them using just to avoid misgendering, i know a lot of people had gender discoveries over lockdown and coming out of lockdown and PF is not free from the transgender beam /silly

i will not comment on damiens DNI any further because, frankly, im staying as far as i can from any delusion related discourse as possible. as a potentially schizophrenic person, i know how sensitive the topic of delusions can be, especially D/A's, erotomania and platonic erotomanic delusions. i still think its a bit off that damien, a singlet, as a core part of being a system in their dni but. thog doesnt caare /ref i don't know their story at all

quite frankly, i'm glad to hear that no ones associating with my abusers anymore. part of me was always a little worried for the remaining members of the group (especially the younger ones), i didn't want anyone to have to deal with the blatant toxic bullshit that i had. even if you lot had a falling out with harpy in some respect, i want to say that i'm sorry for your loss. i remember how close PF was in general, especially with harpy.

i'll tentatively accept the offer to talk with damien, but maybe later. maybe when we're more stable. i'll unblock them for now, because honestly i had no quarrel with damien, just that they were still associating with PF.

this, however, is not an open invite to anyone who associated with/was apart of PF to contact me. in fact, fuck the rest of you completely. stay off my page.

i hate how you guys keep finding our accounts. you almost put us into the hospital with the stunt ezra and karen pulled a few years back joining our personal server. to this day we don't feel safe anywhere we go, irl and online, because of how you guys acted. i know we weren't the best person, i know we were rude and lashed out and were generally hard to deal with, but we were fucking 15 or 16. we had known you guys since we were 13, we trusted your voices and opinions more than anything. if PF said the sky was red, then the sky was fucking red. we trusted you guys enough to give you our address. we were dealing with the horrors of being the only openly trans and queer kid in a small town catholic middle/high school ON TOP of having a slough of undiagnosed disabilities and disorders. and then going home to cope with how stressed we were and talking to our "friends". we should have turned tail and ran the second chai was kicked out. we should have realized earlier how chai had hurt us and cut ties with the rest of you, because no one seemed to care how weirdly romantic chai and i were getting. no one seemed to care about how weird ezra treated us, that the almost adult was jokingly calling the 14 year old their husband. PF actively encouraged our identity delusions and spirals. i was expected to have the emotional and mental capacity of a fully grown adult when i barely even knew who i was. i remember semi-frequently having our possibility of undiagnosed BPD (and potentially NPD? i cant remember if thats something they ever mentioned) recognized by ezra and harpy(?), but the fact that we were untreated, experiencing symptoms of the disorder they were sure we had, struggling to understand our emotions let alone regulate them was all thrown out the window the second we made even the smallest of mistakes. our bpd and delusions were used against us as a way to keep us in line, or when we were noticeably in a spiral we would have our identity delusions towards danganronpa villains invoked to encourage us to be cruel to other people- either members of PF or strangers on twitter.

tldr fuck peach fuzz. yall messed us up. sorry for the long vent/rant we just. really really needed to get that off our chest. we have for years and it feels like we were only able to heal enough this year to actually confront it and say something about what happened. there was a lot more than just this but this is what was fucking us up the most. sorry . i gotta go take a walk goodbye

[daymies]

“Grr, stupid kids! You made me look bad!”

Beginning Notes - Hey guys, before you start reading, this is the first fic I had written a while, some nice criticism will be great. Another thing, I'll be adding YOUR original characters to this story! Make sure to DM your OCs in my discord sillymies#0696

One last thing, this story will be LONG... so stay tuned. Check out my social media for drawings and comics (along with some extra scenes) for this fic! And, of course, for more content for our favorite two characters, Streber and Kevin. I hope you guys enjoy the first chapter; I already have an extra two chapters written already; however, they are heavily edited during this time. The next update should be up by tomorrow. (This is also posted on AO3)

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October 1st, 2012 Monday 6:00 PM

"KEVIN!" "KEVIN! KEVIN!"

Oh great, not those two again.

Today is the first day of October, which meant Halloween was coming soon enough. A holiday that employees that serve the public can't certainly enjoy. Unfortunately, I had the pleasure of being the only guy who sold candy in this crappy town. As a result, this business was almost busy. My two best customers– If I could even call them that, viewing, I give them free candy every day waddled themselves here.

I sighed, "What'll be kids?"

Ugh, I don't know why I asked! I already knew what they wanted! But these two do love Bocadins. I don't blame them; they're delicious. I'm not entirely sure why they don't use the actual name, but whatever.

"Can we get a candy can? Please, Kevin!" "We'd waited all year like you said!" "Yeah! It's finally the spooky month!"

Right...

Kevin's Flashback

The Candy Club shop had existed for a while. Funny enough, I never thought I'd work at this place. Jeez, I didn't even think I'd be the only employee in this dead-end job. In middle school, I remembered when this building was under construction. I had to be around fourteen when everybody realized a new business was opening in this tiny town. I was definitely an eighth-grader when this happened. I don't have the best memory. By the time I reached sophomore year, it had finally finished production. With a small town and low labor, it was bound to take a few years to complete.

After Candy's Club's grand opening, the place was frequently packed, visited by everybody I knew. Literally.

It was next to my high school and a couple of neighborhoods. So it was bound to get heavy traffic. If I had to be honest, I always dreamed of visiting the place, but I couldn't. Of course, it didn't help that my walking route to home, school, and my best friend's place forced me to walk in front of the business occasionally. So it was almost every day I walked past it.

I remember the first day I visited. I wasn't a huge fan of candy. Scratch that. My parents were heavily against it, so I couldn't form a strong opinion on it. So I never really knew whether or not I would've had a sweet tooth in my younger years. Now in my early twenties, I can finally say I love sugary food, which, if you haven't noticed, includes candy.

Radford was honestly the one who took me for the first time. He'd just turned sixteen and applied at the local theater we used to visit during our free time. The place he applied at wasn't JUST a theater; it had an arcade and was pretty cool. Radford was the one who mainly spent all his allowance and time there.

Anyways, he got the job. No surprise there. Radford knew the owner due to how frequently we visited. He had a great relationship with the guy. Man, Radford didn't even have to go through the struggle and process of an interview. He was hired on the spot when he asked. What a lucky guy...

Radford was more than happy when he realized he was hired on the spot. The first thing he did was excessively call me. Even though Radford smiled joyfully when we met, my parents weren't. They were upset with the bill they got from the calls from Radford.

We'd typically celebrated things by, well, hanging at the theater/arcade, but Radford wanted to change things up. To be fair, I don't think you should celebrate the news of your brand new job at– well, your new job location. With the theater being a no-go, he wanted to try out the new candy shop with me. The one that everybody in our high school went crazy on. The Candy Club.

I was excited. But I had to pretend I didn't want to. What if my parents saw it? I freaked out, knowing my parents would've grounded me for something so small.

"Come on, dude, you gotta at least try it. Your parents aren't even here. What are you so worried about?" Radford could tell I was nervous when we walked closer to Candy Club. But, of course, Radford being the worst friend I ever had, found this funny. Jerk.

"You know my parents can sense when I did something wrong! They're like super crazy freaks–! Oh crap, I shouldn't have said that. What if they heard?!" I could visually remember how I looked around my surroundings just in case one of them was watching me, but not a single figure. That didn't even matter to young me. He was still feeling uneasy.

I was an extremely paranoid kid. I didn't have abusive parents; they were sweet but heavily overprotective, and they could've been harsh at times too. I was the only child they had, so that could be why they were so weird sometimes. They were against anything considered unhealthy, like pizza, burgers, or whatever. Obviously, that included sugary substances. For most of my life, I was on a strict vegan diet.

Man, I remembered when I had my first bite of a burger. It was so delicious. Radford took me all around town, trying out different fast-food restaurants. Grills & Boys had to be my favorite restaurant at the time! It's a shame it wasn't like it used to be before.

I think today; I still might be a little paranoid. Not as much as before, thankfully.  But I still kept up with eating vegetables. I had to maintain my figure somehow; it's not every day you see some good-looking guy down the street! Right? I'm kidding.

I worry a lot; it's the one thing I'm known for. Radford constantly has to remind me to 'calm the fuck down,' but what does he know? His life was much smoother than my miserable one.

"Dude. You're the super crazy freak. Come on." He mocked. He found my terrified outbursts funny. But, like I said, Radford didn't take me seriously. Even today, he's still basically the same person.

He forcefully dragged me to the candy shop, ignoring my complaints whenever I mentioned what my parents would do to me if they found out. After that, which would've been nothing, I was just all talk.

My parents wouldn't have done anything necessarily wrong to me. The worst thing they could've done was a long boring lecture about how sugary foods can kill me. Just the usual on what their speeches were usually about.

When we entered the place, we were greeted heavily by the only employee who worked before me. To get this straight, no, I wasn't the first to work at Candy Club. I'm glad I wasn't the first employee at this shit establishment. I would've been more disappointed if I had worked here since the beginning it was built.

"Hey! Welcome to the Candy Club! Where your satisfaction is our treat!"

At the time, previous Candy-Club employees had to say this 'slogan' whenever someone entered the store. That has never changed. It's required for all employees to say once a customer comes in. But I don't do it. I refuse to say it because I find it so stupid.

Radford was the first who started talking to the guy. It looked like they knew each other, once again, not even a surprise. Radford liked speaking to people. I didn't.

"Hey, Dennis! Did you get your latest shipment in?" Radford asked, pushing up his glasses as they were clearly a bit too big for him. I never knew why Radford wouldn't get actual glasses that fitted his face, but whatever. He was a weird guy. He still is, actually, now that I think about it. Radford doesn't even wear actual glasses anymore. I'm pretty sure he has contacts. He didn't even need authentic glasses, so he replaced them with 3D glasses, nerd.

At the time, Radford had a sweet tooth, constantly chewing on some type of flavored gum. Back in high school, that's all he ever ate throughout his school days. Now? Not so much. Let's just say he frequently visits our local Dentist in town now.

I'm not entirely sure how Dennis, you know, the first ever Candy Club employee, and Radford's friendship began. Still, I can just guess that Radford was his best customer, considering all the sweets he bought had the Candy-Club logo on them.

"Just got it earlier this morning! Who's ya new friend there?" Dennis responded and pointed right at me, not knowing who I was. The town was small, so sometimes everybody knew each other, but I wasn't as social as Radford back then. Few people knew me. Not like I cared. I much preferred that way!

Up until when I became the new guy who sold candy in town. Fucking Dennis... I shouldn't have listened to him.

"Oh, this lame guy? Come on, dude, introduce yourself!"

Radford was a much more talkative person. He was more playful, open, and much more of an asshole than me. But, we had similar traits, and we were both... Never mind, I lied. We actually don't have anything in common. He was the one who spoke to me first back in middle school. Radford never even left me alone; he was so talkative. How we met is a story for another day.

I glared at him, irritated by the name-calling. Lame guy... you're the lame guy, Radford.

Dennis was— gazing at me. He seemed like a friendly guy. He had blonde hair and had to be older than us by a couple of years. At the time, I recalled rolling my eyes and giving out a huge groan. I wasn't the best at introducing myself to new people during my teen years. Now that I'm in my early twenties, I am even worse at talking to new people. So it's Radford who gets me to chat with somebody new.

"Kevin," I said, this being all I managed to tell Dennis.

"Nice to meet ya, Kev. Say, what's your favorite candy–?"

Why did he care? If you could compare Dennis and me, we're both entirely different. It's clear Dennis enjoyed his job, interacting with customers, and everything this job had to offer. Me? Not so much. Sure, it was nice to talk to people without forcing a conversation. Still, I soon realized anybody who came through that glass door would verbally abuse me for no reason. That's business, though! Great.

I cut Dennis off midway through his sentence, "I don't like candy. Not really my thing." I told him, crossing my arms. I frowned at him. Dennis was probably around 19 years old when I first met him. I don't talk to him now. He's closer to Radford, not me. I do see him occasionally, but it's just awkward.

I heard a loud sigh. The sigh came from nobody else but from Radford. "Come on, man! Kevin has never had candy before. He doesn't even have an opinion on it! He has no say in anything half of the time!"

I sneered at this as I crossed my arms and looked away from the duo. I was pissed. Yeah, it was true, but it wasn't like I wanted everybody to know about it.

"Is that true? Huh. Say, Kev, grab a scoop of those fruit gummies. I'd think you'll enjoy them." Dennis said, now he too was crossing his arms. But he wasn't upset. He remained happy the entire time, which I respected about Dennis for a long time. Dennis was still annoying, though.

It's not like I was a downer all the time. I just genuinely had no idea how to respond or even react to things.

"It's Kevin. And where? there's a lot of candy in here."

Dennis' head pointed to the left side of the place.

"Top row, pink bin."

Dennis was an asshole, too. I knew he was messing with me when he was facing the bin on the tallest shelf of the store. See, sixteen-year-old Kevin wasn't the tallest person at the time. I was a 5'4 kid, pretty much considered short at the time. I grew taller since then, but Radford continued to tower over me. I continued to glare at Dannis. He should know why I'd be pissed off.

"I can't reach that."

They both laughed with each other, with Radford being the loudest in the room.

"No worries, Kev, that's on me! I'll get it for ya!"

"Whatever," I said, turning my head away so I didn't have to face these two. Radford was already annoying on his own, and adding Dennis? They were even much more irritating and more menacing than these two stupid kids right in front of me—

Oh no! Oh crap! I forgot they were still here!

Dammit, Kevin! You need to quit dozing off on the job! This is how you get your candy stolen! You're lucky these two aren't 3 miserable preteens who wore hats!!

"Hey, err, Kevin? Are you okay?" Skid was the first to ask. He seemed concerned, but I could tell he was mainly curious about why I had been staring at the wall for a good minute.

"Yeah! You were looking at the wall for a while! Are you sick, Kevin?" Pump was more considerate than the other. Well, they both are, but Pump was typically the one who usually acted.

Huh, I forget they both are good kids. I just wished they had stopped pouring through my store, screaming at the tops of their lungs. They're not bad kids. Hell, they're the only two decent human beings who don't entirely make fun of me.

Lila and Pump's mother told the truth when they said these two kids were the purest and most excellent boys. But god, how destructive they were.

"I have some medicine the man in the van gave us!" Pump shouted, taking some mysterious bottle out of his backpack.

What the hell?

"What? What are you two talking about?! Give me that!" I completely ripped the bottle out of Pump's hands and tossed it in the trash.

"Stop talking to strangers, you two! Don't you know how dangerous that is? Where'd did you even get that from!"

These two are oblivious! How aren't they dead yet?! I can't even imagine what their parents must deal with at home! I'm glad they're not my kids! I'll never be a dad.

I groaned as I reached to grab the two pieces of candy I had saved for these two earlier today before they ran out. After pulling my hand from behind my desk, they both practically had stars in their eyes when they realized what I had.

My glare soon faded away. I smiled. It was nice to see happy faces on people. Especially innocent children. I can tell why Dennis loved this job. But, listen, I don't hate these two kids. But, as I said, they sometimes are too loud and dangerous.

I gave these two a long genuine smile. Then, with the two pieces of candy I had, I dropped them into their hands.

"Remember, they're called Bocadins. Call them by their real name next time, will ya?"

"Whoa! Thanks, Kevin! You're the best! And we will!" They said to me both at the same time. Jeez, it's like their heads are telepathically connected.

"Yeah, yeah. Now go away." I said, my smile now fading quickly. I squinted at these two. That was enough socialization for me today.

Instead of walking out of my store, they just stared at me! What the hell could they possibly want now? They got what they wanted. Why are they still staring at me? They could be so weird sometimes!

"What? What do you want?"

Pump and Skid looked at each other and started giggling. They were whispering pretty loudly to each other. A ton of 'No! No! You tell him! No, you!' Okay, now these two were getting on my nerves already.

"Tell me before I kick you both out."

They continued to giggle as they both finally turned to face me. Whatever it was, it was obviously so important.

"Did you hear, Kevin? There's a new haunted house! You should go!"

"Yeah! You'll like it, Kevin!"

Not that important, apparently. Sighing, I gave the two one last smile for the night.

"Sorry, kids, those things aren't for me. Now go away, please. I'm tired. I had a rough night last night!"

They looked disappointed. Of course, since they're Skid and Pump, they looked at each other, and a smile suddenly formed quickly.

"Oh well, let's go, Pump!"

"Oh, okay! Let's go see the new guy!"

New guy? What new guy? Was this the second thing they would tell me if I agreed to go!?

"New guy? What are you two talking about?"

I tried to get an answer from these two, but they were already running out of the store! Why are they so quick with things?!

"Bye, Kevin!!!"

That was the last thing they said before I stood there, confused. What new guy can they possibly be talking about? Who would even move to this town?!

———————————————

End Notes - Hoped you guys enjoyed it. I'll be taking suggestions throughout the story! Remember to check out my social media for more content for the story!

[my-burner-cell]

Anyways uhhh yeah my marching band experience was kinda shit. (rant under the cut)

Ngl felt like I was in a toxic relationship whenever I think about my time in marching band/colorguard. Like on god I thought it was normal for our directors to just break the law constantly. My directors would just force us out in 100+ degree heat and not give us water breaks. They’d have us rehearse for way longer than was legal. Had us practice through the rain with lightning only miles away from us and our metal sousaphones plus the guards’ flag poles. Idk endangering the health and safety of the students was just the norm. Then my directors would literally be so manipulative towards us if we complained about our treatment. They’d always say shit like “well you can’t really complain cuz other bands work their students so much harder, so you should be grateful.” They would guilt trip students, who were sitting out after throwing up, about how they weren’t taking the work seriously.

And I think the worst part of the situation was the fact we were pretty good as a band so it created this toxic cycle of “what we’re doing is getting results so we should continue doing it cuz it’s working.” Honestly it’s probably more telling when my non-band friends would ask why I don’t just quit after I explain the inhumane shit being done to us band kids, cuz I would always respond saying that I loved performing too much to quit/being labeled as a traitor sucks/what would I do without band.

Also transphobia (kinda a given in high school but still) it wasn’t ever overtly hostile but I’ve experienced way too many trans micro aggressions for it to be anything else. The way my guard director refused to use my preferred pronouns or name. Forcing me and other trans kids to put our deadname on our stuff, even though there were other students who put their nicknames on the same things. Having me and this other nb dress in the uniform that aligned with what she perceived as our gender and claimed it’s for uniformity. Like this woman has marched with dci groups and been in color/winterguard, sports that attract a lot of queer ppl, for most of her life and yet the blatant disrespect towards her trans students.

Now don’t get me wrong I still love the sport. I still go out to marching comps when I can, especially since one of my younger sibling’s is marching rn. I enjoy watching dci and dissecting what I did and didn’t like about certain shows. I sometimes even try to keep up with the happenings of my alma mater. But idk it’s just- there’s a lot of baggage from my time in marching band/colorguard.

[allisonreader]

@melliabee I thought that you might get a little bit of a kick about this AU I came up with with my one friend.

"We are contacting you because your father has been found in the ice with Captain America.... both of whom are alive. This information has not been released to the public yet and you are only being made aware of this because Henry Hudson is your father. If you would be willing and are able, we will fly you out to meet him in our setup. We’re trying not to confuse him too much."

Both of them had heads greyer than his own, which only had a few strands of silver starting to appear. He started to shake. His boys, his young sons were no longer young, but older than him. They had lived the majority of their lives without him being there. How old were they now? In their 70's? Or 80's even...? He couldn’t think to do the math. He didn’t know what to say. Which of them was Jesse and who was Henry? He should know, shouldn’t he? These were still HIS kids...

"I’m just going to take your blood pressure... We don’t want you to pass out on us... I know this must seem like a lot right now... honestly it’s a lot for us right now too.... Breathe. Henry will start to fill you in on what’s happened over the years..."

Jesse was a doctor. A good one from what he could tell. His youngest was a doctor.

Were they married? Did they have kids? Grandkids? When did Sarah pass? She wasn’t likely to be alive now. And what about Ruth? Why wasn’t she here?

"You both have on wedding bands. When did you get married? And to whom? Anyone I might know?" Dad

"No." Jesse

"Yes." Henry

"Henry?" Dad

"I got married in 56 to a local girl... I don’t know if you remember Joan Williams? She was my high school sweetheart. We have a daughter together. Still married and going strong." Henry

"I remember Joan... she was two or three years younger than you... Sweet girl from what I remember about her as a young girl. What about you Jesse?" Dad

"You wouldn’t know my wife... I officially met her in Arizona.... married her in 58... I loved her dearly.... she passed a few years ago...." Jesse

"What was her name...?" Dad

"Emily... We never had any kids- as much as we would have loved them." Jesse

"He might not have kids of his own, but the kid he coaches for automotive racing sure acts like Jesse’s his father figure. Kid practically seems to worship the ground he walks on." Henry

"Didn’t start off like that. I was just the old man keeping him from his race and making fix his mistakes until he snooped where he shouldn’t be." Jesse

"You nearly gave me a heart attack seeing you that race. I thought I was seeing a ghost." Henry

"I’m not talking about this now. We're here for dad. Not to air our own grievances." Jesse

"Those sound like those might be some serious grievances…" dad

"We hadn’t spoken for quite a few years at that point. Jesse was sulking." Henry

"Running from bad memories, as well as that worked until the kid dragged them up again." Jesse

"Did your wife know?" Henry

"Hard for her to not. She knew exactly who I was. Right forward about it too when speaking to me in private." Jesse got raised eyebrows about that. "Emily’s maiden name is one you’re familiar with Henry. You met her brother and father long before we ever married."

"Spit it out Jesse, who was she then?" Henry

"Emily Piston. Ran from Piston Cup, only to end up in the family. The two are very different though." Jesse

"Might be different, but I’m sure Alex is just thrilled to have you as a brother-in-law."

"He was banned from our house. Sorry dad. I know none of this must make sense to you." Jesse

[thekatea]

Moonlight Chicken

Watched: 02.03.2023

It felt like the highlights of a greater story.You know what? I want to watch either the show they teased in the trailer one year ago, because what we’ve got was just completely different material, or what we’ve got here, but in a longer format.

I’ll start with the biggest flaw I saw, to get it over with. Earth was miscast. To everyone who honestly thinks Earth fits the role - drop me the name of your country, I gotta go and find myself a 40 but looking 20 daddy. Don’t know what kind of fountain of youth your government is selling for you to think he is believable “about to be” middle aged man, but I want some of it.

And please don’t start with: some people look younger than their age. Sure, but this is literally not the case in this story. Not once was it part of the discussion how he looks good for his age. I mean, the fact that Wen even asked Jim if Li Ming was his son suggests, Jim is supposed to look his age. He just looked way too much like a peer next to Mix and Khaotung.

Because of that, many scenes that were more hard hitting and emotional, felt simply not sincere. He is the main character, so if I cannot connect to him, the whole show starts to fall apart. This is what happens when profiting from a popular and established pairing is more important than proper casting. Pro tip to directors - if you are not willing to cast age appropriate actors, do not try to make shows with big age gaps between characters or about characters who are in their late 30’ and 40’. (Putting this casting into perspective - the actor playing Heart’s father is 45).

That said, I’m not gonna act as if it will for sure ruin the watching experience for everyone - it will not. It’s just something that I personally cannot ignore, especially since the character’s age was brought up over and over again in conversations.

Putting Jim aside, I actually enjoyed a lot of other characters and their interactions. Wen and Li Ming were truly adorable, with this older/younger brother dynamic, and Wen did a good job being the bridge between the uncle and the teen. He made them both understand each other better.

I also found Wen’s and Alan’s relationship fascinating and wish we would see more of it. It seemed like they made almost every possible mistake to end up in this situation, and trying to fix it right away would be an impossible task.

Heart and Li Ming were obviously fans’ favorites. Did I like them? Yes. Do I feel like their interactions were too similar to My School President and it was a bit like watching the same characters just in a different context? Also yes.

Honestly speaking, Alan was my favorite character and one that I was most curious about. It should also be illegal to give Khaotung such a tiny role taking into consideration his talent. I find it a bit funny how, in my view, two most talented actors in the show were sidelined like that.

While I enjoyed Earth and Mix in their other projects, I did not quite like them here. The main couple was for me the weakest aspect of the whole show. I enjoyed the characters far more with other people, compared to watching them interact with each other.

Giving credit where credit is due, Moonlight Chicken tries to tackle more serious issues and steps away from the typical high school romance. It does not follow the “one relationship for the life” idea, showing the past relationships of the main characters. It gives us a deaf community representation in a tactful manner. It shows that at times putting more effort will not save the relationship, and the most healthy way is to just end it and leave. It shows various types of parents-kids relationships, and how there are no right and wrong universal answers, it all depends on the circumstances.

While I appreciate the writer and director bringing all these important issues to the table, I also feel like they were more of an appetizer than a whole meal. It’s undeniable that they did not have enough time to truly dive deep into any of these topics, so at the end it felt more like highlights of a greater story. Personally, I prefer my slice of life character driven shows in a slower pace, that gives me time to digest everything that is happening on the screen.

The quality of the production fluctuated quite a bit. Some scenes were a true perfection and there was not a detail that had to be changed to improve them. But then some scenes had such sloppy lighting I actually laughed. What I loved for sure though were the set designs. Aesthetically pleasing, but not over the top that it looked unnatural. You saw it and you believed - yes, someone lives/works here.

Overall, it has many great messages, many great lines. Could have been one of the best BLs if the production was a bit more daring, but also selective in terms of the story and the casting.

[gr-book-worm-1818]

I might be neurodivergent but like ??? (LONG)

hey so like, I’ve been thinking. am I neurodivergent? (and before you tell me to get a diagnosis I desperately want to get one I swear but I’m a minor and my parents would never let me, plus I’m concerned about finances and what they’ll think of me so that’s off the list. I honestly just. really want answers and advice!) so here’s the thing. first off, let me start by saying I’m already pretty sure I have anxiety---not as intense as it gets but it’s definitely there. like that’s what I’m sure of...at least I think I am (which should already tell you I’m not really sure of THAT to begin with but that’s for a whole nother time). 

I’ve only just started looking into neurodivergent stuff recently and it’s been one heck of a ride already. I’m not really sure where to start so I’m sorry if this is formatted weirdly or something, I don’t mean to cause confusion! 

basically, after looking at the symptoms of autism and adhd (mainly adhd) and looking back at my childhood, I exhibited a lot of the symptoms (and I don’t mean like, a shit gremlin toddler, I mean like kindergarten all the way up to middle school until right before high school). [disclaimer: I know neurodivergence is something you are born with and not obtained, by ‘kindergarten all the way up to middlde school’ I mean that’s when I first remember having experienced the symptoms]. my hands always had to be doing something, I was incredibly impatient, sometimes I couldn’t sit still, I tried changing the topic a lot when I had to apologize to people, I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions, my voice often came out louder than I meant for it to (I even got into an argument with my middle school friends about this because when we were in a call they got mad at me for screaming a lot). I also had a special interest (I’m not sure if this counts but I’m saying it anyway)---this game. It was basically all I could talk about. there were a lot of other symptoms I had too that I didn’t notice at the time, but unfortunately I’ve forgotten a few (watch me remember them right when I post this.) [I also think you should know that I’ve also been described as a gifted kid a lot---good grades usually came easy to me and I was never not in the honors, which is part of the reason I’m doubting if I MIGHT be neurodivergent]. but I thought, it was probably just a childhood thing (completely disregarding the fact that I did not know anybody else who did those things in their own childhoods).

then I learned about masking. and realized I probably had anxiety.  what if I’ve been masking? or what if my neurodivergency (IF I even have it) resulted in anxiety which then forced me to mask it??? I’m hyper aware of how I act at all times. I’m scared of putting my music at a high volume and just vibing because what if someone is calling me and I don’t hear and they get mad? (back to the symptoms thing, when I was younger I did zone out a lot and forget I was supposed to do stuff and, you guessed it, put my headphones at a high volume resulting in me getting scolded). [also just a disclaimer, please don’t blame either of my parents for this, they’re both amazing and I love them but genuinely I don’t think they would understand if I told them any of this] whenever I’m given something I could drop like a glass of milk I drink it immediately to ensure that I don’t drop it or accidentally knock it over or something. 

here’s where some *social anxiety* but also *I want friends very very badly* comes in. hooray! /sarcastic 

I used to be incredibly social when I was in middle school---I was friends with basically everyone. it’s like being social was as easy as breathing to me. but now? well, I noticed that most of the time I can barely talk to people anymore (even my mom has noted this and said I’m like a ‘loner’ now). I think it’s important to note that I was never bullied; we never really had bullies at any of the schools I went to; the closest thing to ‘bullying’ we ever had was playful teasing. anyway, back to the social thing---I noticed that sometimes, very rarely but sometimes, if for example I’m in a group project, I’ll talk a lot and joke around a lot and be extremely energetic and friendly around those people---I’ll feel great, if not a little exhausted at the end of the day because of how active I was. but the next day? well, wouldn’t ya know, the very next day I’m back to my awkward, socially anxious self, probably overthinking if the people I was energetic around the previous time now think I’m weird. 

I also noticed that I tend to get really excited around people I find cool and wanna be close with, if that makes sense? like on the first day of school, I met our new english teacher and he seemed soooo cool and nice and COOL and we were supposed to introduce ourselves and do this activity, and when he got to me I read out what I wrote and when I was done I realized---”oh shit. I talked kinda fast and my voice did NOT come out right.” nobody said anything about it but I could clearly tell the teacher was weirded out by this, so I’ve been hyper aware of how I act in english class ever since because I wanna make a good impression, I don’t want even the TEACHERS to think I’m weird! 

okay so, now I want to expand on the grades thing. first off, I know neuerodivergent people can be smart and have good grades---I never doubted that for a second. but like I said, I’ve always mostly fit the gifted kid description---well, in middle school I did. now, in highschool, I’m more burnt-out gifted kid (and, news flash, I constantly get mad at myself about it because how can I be burnt-out if I’ve barely done anything worthy of said burn-out?). 

secondly, I’ve always considered myself to be very creative and imaginative; ever since I was little, I’ve wanted to be a writer---more specifically, nowadays, I’m thinking more along the lines of director. I have so many ideas and stuff like that, but whenever it’s time to write them down my brain kinda just...goes blank. it was hard for me to even start writing this post even though for the past few days I’ve been thinking about how the heck I should start writing it in the first place. 

now onto my thoughts. ah, my wonderful, wonderful, thoughts /sarcastic. 

I’ve always had A LOT of thoughts. it’s hard for me to shut down my brain whenever it’s time to sleep and stuff, and I’ve actually observed that sometimes I fall asleep to my own thoughts/stories still going on in my head. it’s always been very easy for me to paint a picture of stories in my head. like I said, I’ve always been very creative. 

now, I don’t really know where to go with the rest of this post, so let me just share some random things I did either when I was a kid or things I do now, in case that’ll help/maybe entertain you. 

-when I was a kid, I legit could not sleep unless my parents played a movie in the background; I called it a ‘sleep movie’ (ironically, I’m pretty sure the sleep movies actually made it more difficult to sleep---this one probably just stemmed from my fear of monsters in the dark because I learned about horror stories way too early in life).  -I stim a lot; I’m not sure if this is the exact definition, but if, for example, I’m taking a shower and the hot water suddenly turns excruciatingly cold, my leg will do this stompy thingy and/or my arms are gonna flap. I don’t know though, that might be normal. -sometimes I walk...weirdly. even in public places. or I’m weirdly conscious of how I walk. like maybe I’ll walk like a penguin or something subconsciously. (someone I know once told me I walked ‘like a r*tarded person’)  -I have horrid anger issues. this is part of the “I did stuff without thinking of the consequences of my actions” thing I said earlier; when I was little and I was waiting for something to load on the tablet, for example, I would maybe hit the tablet or smash it against the bed (see? horrible anger issues). I no longer do this because now I am EXTREMELY cautious around electronic devices (especially after my track record of dropping and breaking, what, four devices?)  -now this one is really hard to explain but I feel like it’s important. ever since I was little (I still do this now btw), when I’m bored, I’d take a thing---usually a barbie doll but sometimes a pencil---and then I’d hold it with one hand, hyperfocus on it, and ‘imagine’ something, if that makes sense? like I’d hold the doll and just...zone out and imagine this wild story I made up in my head, often hitting my feet together and shaking the doll and my hands as I would imagine it---my relatives have practically accepted this as normal, which I’m thankful for, though sometimes it still gets joked about (I know it’s all in good fun, though). [Note: I only do this in private---I do not like people watching me do this and never do it when people are around. only when I’m alone in my room do I ever do it.]  -as I’ve gotten older, I noticed I’ve gotten WAY more empathetic. maybe too empathetic, actually. I always try to think about what I would feel in that person’s shoes. what if I were them? I also always try thinking about what their intentions could be (personally I feel like this came with the anxiety). -I overthink a lot. this came in a package deal with the anxiety, of course.  -ew, physical touch. I do not like physical touch. it depends on the person but I almost always despise it, though I can deal with hand holding if it’s someone I trust.  -If someone did something to annoy me, I’ll almost always remember it. I used to use it against them when I was younger, but not anymore---I kinda just remember it, and sometimes I actually take a kind of score and count how many times they’ve upset me, like a red flag counter or something (yet despite all those red flags I never end the friendship because I have no other friends to go to and they’re practically all I have. tsk tsk. incredibly unhealthy, I know).  OKAY, I think that’s it (to be honest there’s probably a LOT of stuff I missed so no that is probably not it). if you wanna ask me about anything feel free to, I really want to get this sorted out and I wanna hear your opinions, is this neurodivergency? am I going insane? I need advice!!!!!!!! 

P.S. if you made it all the way to to the end holy shit thank you so much for sitting through this entire thing. tell me your thoughts and opinions if you can, please and thank you!!!!!!

[xoteajays]

for the ocs game: since i am currently obsessed w developing theo i would looovee to know how you would see the dynamic between flora (since they probably wouldn't get along at all) and her, especially since they both end up clashing w nancy (even though theo is. very similar to nancy).

theo is veryy much the snobby rich girl type. she's callous and honestly unlikable. also moved to hawkins before freshman year and was quickly taken in by the steve-carol-tommy friend group. but by s1 she's thrown out of the friend group bc she cheated on steve (but her brother stays friends w them and it gets very complicated) . it's through her family dynamics that you realize oh. there's a reason she's like this.

so. she's brenner's daughter, but was raised pretty much like any other normal kid. she has very complicated relationships with both her parents. w her father you have this immense pressure to be excepcional (bc if she has no powers she at the very least has to be academically talented) and to set an example to her younger brother. she's her mother's (and siblings) emotional support. from a very young age she was basically treated as a mini adult and a pseudo-parent. out of her siblings she's definitely the toughest and becomes her mother's and brother's biggest defender once they end up involved with will's disappearence.

flora’s only child who is also a daughter syndrome vs theo’s eldest daughter pseudo-parent syndrome, fight!

really, i think flora would probably get along better with theo’s twin, nell. flora and theo definitely wouldn’t get along, at least at the start. flora hates the ‘popular’ group since she was kinda of bullied for being the ‘weird quiet new girl’; so even though theo got kicked out, flora would assume the vibes are still there, the attitude. hell, flora only ever even went to one high school party. they definitely clash in a lot of aspects.

i could maybe see them getting along later on, a kind of ‘oh, your dad sucks? my dad sucks!’, recognition-of-one’s-self-in-another situation. also the complicated relationships with their mothers? aAAAaAaAAaaaa. girls who feel older than their actual ages, who feel responsible for their respective ‘siblings’ (theo’s actual siblings vs flora’s pseudo-siblings), tough girls who shouldn’t have to be tough but don’t have a choice anymore.

also caroline and flora’s mom, alice, should hang out actually. hawkins’ resident hot repressed mothers with sh*tty ex-husbands (joyce come join too).