#and hit post draft on ao3 before i could second guess myself

[beskad]

I spent a frankly EMBARRASSING number of hours re-writing and editing the opening to this dincobb fic over the last few days. I'm still not 100% happy with every part of it, but it accomplishes most of the basic ideas, themes, and plot threads it needs to so that I can proceed to put them in Situations 😎

[mrs-steve-harrington]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

I started working on this days ago, but my tumblr is fucky and wouldn't show me the post in my drafts. So sorry this is so late! I had to recreate it using the second ask that I'd gotten, haha.

Seeing both of these show up in my inbox made me smile so much! Always here for the chance to share my faves. Especially since I feel like they change depending on my mood, haha.

the devil on my shoulder - The Babysitter (2017) [2,740 words]

Summary:

My take on how things could have gone if the cult had needed to manipulate Cole into helping/joining the ritual rather than needing to use his blood. -- Or maybe it's not the scrapes that hurt. Maybe it's the fact that it feels like no matter what he does, he is always going to end up back here. On the ground, bruised and scraped and laughed at by people he's never done anything to.

This one is very much a just-for-me kind of fic (though it was written for a request, so I guess it's for me and that one person who gave me the jumping off point). The fandom had, I think, around 20 or less fics back when I posted it? omg I checked and there were less than 10 fics back then holy crap. And I know very few people who have actually seen either of the movies. But I fell in love with them both and am still so grateful that someone replied to my request for ideas way back when and gave me a reason to write this. It's written in a strange style that I've never replicated, but it's one of the few fics of my own that I go back to reread with semi-regularity.

anything (anything) for you - Stranger Things [5,373 words]

Summary:

Desperate not to lose Nancy, Steve proposes she date him and Jonathan at the same time. He didn't mean for the three of them to date each other. But if that's what it will take for Nancy to be willing to stay with him, he'll figure out how to be okay with it.

This fic was written for @urisarang as part of a fic exchange. Maybe the second AO3 fic exchange I ever did? I remember being so relieved to have been assigned to Uri because they would be perfectly happy for whatever angsty idea I might come up with. And wouldn't be upset if I came up with something of my own rather than working strictly from their prompts at the time. I got the idea for this while writing MY OWN prompts for whoever was assigned to me and realizing,actually, I needed to write it myself as well. Since this one there's only been one other fic that I've ever seen with a similar premise (shout out to @stevethehousewife's amazing fic Do I Mean Anything?), but I remember it being fairly popular in other fandoms and oh man. It's just. One of my favorite flavors of angst. idk, I love this fic and someday I will finish the sequel that's over 15k words long already and nowhere near done

Sleeves - Free Guy [1,684 words]

Summary:

Antwan helps roll up the sleeves of the new shirt he bought for Keys, and convinces him to let something go in the process.

Another fic that's mostly "for me", though written knowing that Uri would probably enjoy it as well. It's so wild, but like. I had only written 2 Free Guy fics at the time and was sure that was all I had in me. I would never write another one again. Then while getting ready to go to a memorial service, I was rolling up my sleeves and was hit with the image of Antwan rolling up Keys' sleeves for him and yeah. Turns out wrists are just as sexy to write about as necks are and I remember having a really good time writing this one. And man, it's hard to have fun while writing and also enjoy the end product, but this is another fic that I go back to reread sometimes.

the missing piece of me (is you) - Stranger Things [23,000 words]

Summary:

Steve has been in a relationship with Jonathan and Nancy since the week before graduation (though he's not quite sure relationship is the right word; they're something and that's already more than he ever hoped for). With them, his summer was going better than he expected when his dad first cut him off. Then Dustin came back from camp with his secret Russian code. Between the ensuing drugs and interrogation, Steve's missing pieces of his summer—he doesn't remember that he's in a relationship at all. After Star Court, Nancy and Jonathan notice the distance Steve is putting between them and worry he's realized trying to make the three of them work is too complicated; especially when they see just how comfortable he is around Robin.

Ah yes. The only big bang fic I've written since joining this fandom that I actually like. Forever and always have to thank @pterawaters for coming up with the original idea for this fic when I was struggling and stressing out trying to think of something on my own. The initial idea should have been simple enough, but then when I started writing, it took on a life of its own and suddenly I was writing a Before and After style fic and man. I am still really freaking proud of how it turned out! It's definitely one of my all time favorites. plus everyone should seriously listen to the playlist that ptera made for it because fuck, it fits the tone of the fic so well and it still lives on the main screen of my phone

The Best People He Knows - Stranger Things [3,692 words]

Summary:

Steve doesn't just drive Dustin to the dance. He comes over to help with Dustin's hair first (and gets some hugs while he's there). -- "Are you sure we have enough time?" Dustin asks, his voice urgent, not unlike how he sounded back when he convinced Steve to help him track down his demo-dog. Not that Steve blames him. School dances are harder to navigate than just about anything, including the Upside Down.

This is the very first fic I ever wrote for Stranger Things. It's probably the closest I'll ever EVER get to writing Steve Harrington in character. And even when rereading it after going to get the link, I think it still holds up. I don't know, it's a very nothing fic in that not much happens in it. But it makes me happy and I love it and I hope that people will continue to find it in the future and give it a shot.

[the-bi-space-ace]

This ask game was going around like SO LONG AGO and I forgot about it but I found it in me drafts lol :]

3. (What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?)

26. (If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?)

Hi! Lol I do that sometimes too. I'm excited for these questions!

3. (What's something you learned about yourself as a writer?)

I write better when I write without judgment. I used to pour painstakingly over my fics and weed out anything that could be ‘too much’ or ‘weird’. When I did that I ended up with pieces I half loved. Things I wanted to add to but didn’t because I didn’t want it to be ‘too complicated’ and I was too afraid to be too vulnerable or project too much. This year has really helped me stop second guessing if I should add that detail or if it’s too close to home or if people don’t like or get it. I’m always going to hope people like what I write but I’m more in love with my own writing when it is exactly what I want and not pieces of what I want. I’ve stopped judging myself as much (I’m my own worst critic) and things have been so much more fun. I’ve learned that writing comes easy when I don’t judge the page before it is written. If I overthink it doesn’t get written and it sits in my WIP folder. I’m here to have fun and I think a lot of what I’ve written really shows that which is something I’m proud of.

Also that I like the pain almost as much as the soft stuff. I like the fluff to feel so earned it’s like a warm hug. Like it’s something the character has been waiting so long for they really just have to accept it is something they deserve. And there’s bound to be a lot of suffering before that happens but the payoff when a character has been in pain for so long and they finally get to be safe and taken care of???? That is something I will always love.

26. (If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?)

Honestly. It wasn’t even something I have on Ao3 yet. It’s actually when I officially finished outlining the third fic in the Calling Me Home series (which now has a name - The World Tumbles Down). I’ve been planning this fic since before the second one was posted and I wasn’t ever going to commit to a third story if I wasn’t 10000% sure of my plot. I was so frustrated towards the middle of Keep These Shadows Out that I was genuinely convinced the third fic was a mess that couldn’t be fixed. One day my partner and I spent almost four hours re-outlining the third fic and it finally came together and felt like a complete story instead of a loose idea on a page. It felt like the right way to end it. It felt like I’d finally filled in the gaps and given it the attention it deserved. That was such a relief for me that I still think about it when I’m overwhelmed. It was very rewarding to feel like I could wrap it all up well and not feel like it would fall flat. The notes for that story expand every time I write (and it’s looooooong rn) but getting that outline done and having it really hit the mark never fails to make me feel proud. Really gets me. I’m genuinely so excited to share it in a few months (and am working on packing just… as much fluff as possible into it. Let’s face it. These characters deserve it after everything I’ve put them through.)

[ghoste-catte]

multiples of 3 ✌🏼-sgmdrcklee

@sagemoderocklee you’re really trying to kill me lol

This got long as heck so I’m throwing it behind a cut. Read on for answers and fic recs! (Mostly the fic recs)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

This is a tough one to answer for me generally because I tend to spit words onto the page and once I have written them I no longer remember writing them. And 2020 has stretched on so long that as I’m looking at some of the stuff I wrote in the beginning of this year, I hardly remember what’s even in it. I think at one point someone (@goblin-draws maybe?) mentioned a line in Sleeptalk with Me where the innkeeper calls Kankuro “chubby boy”, and I was like “Oh ... did I write that? Yeah, sounds like something I’d have someone say to Kankuro ...” 

It might be easier to talk about this in other terms. One of the scenes I worked the hardest on this year was the fight scene in Chapter 3 of Skeleton Key. The original draft of the scene was a lot shorter, and a lot of the backstory for Misaki’s revenge quest was elided. The scene as originally written was clunky, confusing, and as my lovely wife/beta put it sounded “like a Naruto villain” was doing the dialogue, when previously she’d found Misaki sinister and intriguing. Which wasn’t what I wanted. I basically entirely overhauled the scene and re-wrote it several times. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’ scene (I hate writing fight scenes generally; having chosen to immerse myself in a fandom about ninja where much of the drama comes from battle is my eternal regret), but it is a scene that I put a lot of effort into, and I’m moderately satisfied with the improved product that resulted.  

6. least popular fic this year

By far my least popular fic by kudos ever is Pitch Perfect. Which makes complete sense to me. It’s a fic where I’ve written 2 characters who are men in canon as cis women, which pushes a lot of uncomfortable buttons for a lot of people. It contains F/F smut, which is something that a lot of people who choose to read GaaLee probably aren’t out there looking for. And people comment and kudos less on smutfics, I assume because they don’t want their username attached to porn or because they’re embarrassed (which I totally get, no shame there). It’s a modern AU with a sports twist, and AUs are often less popular than canonverse in my experience. I will say though that it has a surprisingly high number of private bookmarks compared to other fics with comparable hit and kudos counts. So I assume people are just a bit more shy because the premise is so ‘out there’. I will say as far as my fics go, it’s one of my personal favorites and probably one of the most intimate and true-to-life things I’ve written? So it actually is a little comforting to know that something so vulnerable has relatively little attention. 

9. longest wip of the year

If we’re going based on stuff that’s partially published but not complete, my Gaara-adopts-Shinki fic On My Way Home is my longest in-progress fic at just over 20k words, although technically I started it in 2019. It will probably end up being right around 40-50k when it’s complete, which might end up situating it as my longest fic ever? 

12. favorite character to write about this year

Okay, this is an easy one. I love writing Kankuro. I think he is hilarious. He is the devil on my shoulder and a creature of pure id, and every time I write a line of dialogue for him it’s the summation of my rudest thoughts about a situation put in the crudest possible terms. If there were a megaphone directly from my unfiltered brain giving running commentary, that would be Kankuro.

15. something you learned this year

I have learned SO much this year! This is only my 2nd year properly ‘focusing’ on writing fic and investing any substantial time into it. I think the biggest thing I have learned, though, is how to overcome a lot of my self-consciousness about writing stories with NSFW elements in them. Starting out, I was so extremely shy and mortified about writing fic at all, much less things like hugging or (god forbid!) kissing. So taking on the smut prompts I took this year and really buckling down on learning to write the mechanics and emotions of sex has been a massive learning experience. (And sorry, by the way, if I haven’t gotten to a prompt you sent me in January yet. I do intend to write all of them eventually!) 

18. current number of WIPs

Ah. The call-out question. My general fic process is idea -> outline -> wip -> edit -> ready to post (where the final draft sits in my docs until I gin up the courage to actually post it). So skipping fics that are just “ideas” on the big mega-list, I have 3 fics in the “outline” stage, 13 fics in the partially written “wip” stage, 1 fic in the “editing” stage, and 2 that are complete but yet-to-be-posted. So, like, 19 total in the offing. (The “ideas” list is even worse lol.)

21. most memorable comment/review

This is such a difficult question because every single comment I get makes me do a little dance for joy. That’s not an exaggeration btw I really sit there and like bounce around in my seat for a moment before I open the Ao3 email. I am not an especially emotive person irl, but there have been times I’ve been brought near tears by comments. I’ll also occasionally show them to my wife like !! look at this nice thing this person said !! and she’s indulgent enough to actually read them. There have been a couple comments that have really stuck with me, that I starred in my inbox and return to frequently, but I don’t want to bring attention to someone else without their permission. I will say there was one person recently who mentioned (not in the comments on one of my fics) that they had found someone who does physical binding of fanfiction and they were about to ask my permission to do that, but then the person who does the binding only does certain ships that she likes ... so that, just, absolutely floored me. The idea that someone might actual want a physical copy of my stupid little ninja fanfictions is, like, so truly immense and completely overwhelming?

24. favorite fic you read this year

You can’t make me pick just one!! (For reference, I have bookmarked right around 180 fics in the past year, and that’s not including fics that I just read, really enjoyed, but didn’t think I could ‘handle’ a second time around.) So, skipping over the ones that AREN’T Naruto ... here is a brief sampling of some faves:

Silica by deepestbluest (rated E, GaaLee, ShikaTema, and Kankiba) - An absolute emotional powerhouse of a fic that manages to skillfully interweave three complex relationship dynamics, satisfactorily resolve them, and give you ALL the sandsibs feels in just over 10k words. 

Childhood Not-Friends (series) by MegaWallflower (rated G, KakaGai) - @megawallflower is a KakaGai god for good reason. Absolutely adorable relationship development fics (five of them!) with the premise that Kakashi thinks he and Gai have been dating since they were kids ... Gai just hasn’t been clued into it yet. These stories will give you heart-eyes.

The Bright Side by gidget_goes (rated T, GaaLee) - This is the Buffy AU I never knew I needed, because I’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But truly you don’t need any Buffy knowledge to enjoy this fic. @gidget-goes command of imagery is masterful, and the way they manage to snap from snark to tugging at your heartstrings is awe-inspiring. Gaara breaks my heart in this. And did I mention Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat? Because Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat. 

Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (rated T, GaaLee) - So introspective and so poetic. This looks like a WIP but it’s actually multiple oneshots, although by the end of the second one you’ll be dying for the rest of the promised series. 

I’m a Fool to Want You by BeelieveRosemarie (rated M, GaaLee) - Turns out @tuttiefruttiegaalee isn’t just an amazing artist, they’re a writer, too! Slow-dancing that will break your heart. Listen to the Frank Sinatra song while you read this for extra tear-jerking effect.

Let Love be Known (series) by TenTomatoes (rated G, GaaLee) - This is the twist on the arranged marriage trope and Beauty and the Beast that I didn’t realize this fandom was missing. I’m absolutely obsessed with their concept of Gaara as the Beast

I Could Be by LilacNoctua (rated T, GaaLee) - I know I big up @lilac-writes Worthwhile series a lot (deservedly so, because it’s so good it makes you look at the series and go “Why the fuck didn’t Kishimoto make this canon exactly like this?”), but this story made me absolutely die between the butterflies in my stomach and how hard I was laughing. There’s one line--you’ll know it when you read it--that absolutely bowls me over every time I re-read this. 

And Then Continue by EgregiousDerp (rated E, GaaLee) - Obviously I’m biased because this was a gift, but @egregiousderp writes some of the the best characterized porn I’ve ever read. You will read this and go “Wow! This is exactly how it would happen!” It’s such a tender, beautiful exploration of Gaara’s insecurities and a very real feeling first time, for all its soft edges. 

Cake by citronelle (rated E, KanKiba) - I don’t even know what to say about this one other than ... phew, this is extremely well written, extremely hot, and extremely in character. Just read it. I promise it’s worth it. 

Saudade by YumKiwiDelicious (rated M, GaaLee) - I’ve run around reccing this to just about every person on the face of the earth at this point. If you’re in the GaaLee Discord you probably saw everyone salivating over every new update of this fic and with good reason. The twists and turns of this fic will have you on the edge of your seat, second guessing every single moment. And it will break your heart in the meantime. What more could you want?

the love potion commotion by floating_cats (rated T, NejiSasu with background GaaLee) - One of those fics where you wish the author’s sense of humor was your own. So many hilarious moments in this story, and it brought me a new appreciation for a ship I never would have even considered. 

Finger Lickin’ Good by whazzername (rated E, GaaLee) - Whazz is another one of those authors where I literally want to rec every single thing she’s ever written, she’s just that good. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t read Fools Rush In and its sequel Degrees of Separation, you’re missing out on the best possible Metal origin story of all time. Don’t deprive yourself of this.) But this story is just ... so incredibly in character for a situation that reads like crack. It’s handled with the utmost straight-facedness and it’s so. freakin’. good. 

heart lines by winterberry_holly (rated M, NejiTen and GaaLee) - I don’t even have the words to describe how perfect this fic is. It’s a truly beautiful exploration of Tenten’s relationship with her palmistry hobby and with the people in her life. My heart ached with every single line. 

Standing on Ceremony by kuroashi (rated E, GaaLee) - This is just ... such a beautiful wedding story. So lovely, like getting the best possible warm hug from someone you love. If that love one was slightly strange and socially inept, because, well. It’s still Gaara doing Gaara-things. @baphometsss is another one of those authors whose handling of smut scenes is so stupendous it makes me wildly jealous. 

Thrall by RokiRiot (rated T, GaaLee) - Idiots-to-lovers with a magic AU twist! This is such a wonderful story, and Gaara’s internal monologue is absolutely amazing. And Lee is Deaf in this fic, which I never ever get to see and which absolutely made my entire day/week/month/life. 

Make-Out Consequences by LuxaLucifer (rated M, KakaGai with background canon Boruto ships) - I laughed so hard reading this that I had to take a breather to stop crying. That’s not an exaggeration. The characterization in this fic is impeccable and the humor is to die for. Naruto’s buffoonery truly shines here, and the author’s wit is just beyond anything I could even properly summarize. Hysterical. A++. 

Thirteen Strokes by Luna_Lee (rated T, GaaLee) - Again, like, if you aren’t reading literally everything @sagemoderocklee writes, are you even really a GaaLee fan? But this fic is beyond even for one of Eeri’s incredibly excellent writings. The worldbuilding in this, the cultural notes, the imagery ... it’s all so lush and so fulfilling and so beautiful. It’s a story about love and it’s a story that you can tell has love poured into every single line. I can’t recommend it enough. 

Checkmate by shadowstrangle (rated G, GaaLee) - The pettiness vibes ... this is so funny. Such a cute story and I love Gaara’s sense of humor here. Not a lot of writers give him a sense of humor, but I love how @shadowstrangle gives him a slightly odd, slightly left-of-center take on humor that still manages to be so funny. 

To Court a Village by FanFictionEngineer (rated G, GaaLee) - Another one where my bias is perhaps slightly obvious, but the premise of this fic is amazing. I love cultural misunderstandings, and the idea of Lee trying his hardest to court Gaara ineptly is just so perfect. 

affliction of feeling by theformerone (rated E, SakuHina) - One of those ships that it would never have occurred to me to seek out but that absolutely works with how the author’s set it up. The dynamics here are delicious. It’s so rare to find good F/F porn but this is one of them for sure. 

Tried and Tested by twentysomething (Rated M, KakaIru with background canon Boruto ships and GaaLee) - Iruka’s narration in this story is just incredible. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a fic in ages. And the concept alone (that Naruto can’t be promoted to Hokage until he passes his chuunin exams ... as an adult ... and Sasuke gets dragged along for the ride) is just brilliant. Amazing concept, amazingly executed. 

a fireside waltz by winterberry_holly (rated M, GaaLee) - I really tried not to rec a single author more than once here but for this one I had to. I got about halfway through this fic and immediately started running around ringing the town crier bell like READ THIS FIC! READ THIS FIC! An absolutely smoldering Regency AU with such beautiful, intimate dance scenes. My heart was racing every single time their fingers brushed. If you don’t read anything else on this list, at the very least read this. 

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

I really can’t pick just one. I am lucky enough that @egregiousderp passes me her drafts under the table before (or without) publishing, and getting to read those is a private treat of unparalleled proportions. Some of my favorite things I’ve read this year I can’t even rec because they’re her unpublished stuff. 

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

This is gonna come off strange because I just wrote such a long Naruto reclist, but I recently watched What We Do in the Shadows, and found an incredibly talented group of authors in that fandom with really amazingly good dialogue and narrative voice. I also read a lot of fic for the new It movies (even though I couldn’t watch the 2nd one for ~reasons~), and damn if there isn’t a talented crop of authors in that fandom, too. And finally with ATLA making its way onto Netflix, I had the chance to start watching that for the first time and found a ton of really good fic there as well! 

fanfic end of the year asks!

[callioope]

Author Interview

tagged by @theputterer -- thank you :) 

Name: Liz

Fandoms: In terms of posted fics, mainly Rogue One and Star Wars (OT). I have at least one fic posted in A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, Community, and Howl’s Moving Castle (book). But I also like The Clone Wars and Rebels. I’ve been reading mainly ATLA fic for the past couple weeks. 

Where you post: AO3 and sometimes here on tumblr. There are a few drabbles I’ve posted on tumblr that I really ought to crosspost on AO3 for posterity. 

Most popular one-shot: “In Which Sophie is Late, and Howl Noses Around in Her Business” (Howl’s Moving Castle) With 698 kudos. Uh. Wow. I was not expecting that! It’s literally my only HMC fic (although I do technically have other unfinished drafts) and it’s not even a year old, and surpassed my second most popular one-shot which was posted in 2015. Pregnancy trope is popular I guess. It is amusing to me that my most popular one-shot is not in my favorite OTP fandom (rebelcaptain). Howl’s Moving Castle ended up having a wider audience than I anticipated. 

Also as a disclaimer, but popularity is weird to gauge because do you go by hits or kudos or comments? I went with kudos because hits could count people who clicked on my story and then didn’t like it. But it’s hard because hits also include re-reads, so, idk. 

Most popular multi-chapter fic: “The Last Stark” (A Song of Ice and Fire) 815 kudos. This was finished in 2013 so it’s had plenty of time to accumulate the kudos. It’s a Gendrya Anastasia AU (“Aryastasia” was my working title for this one lol). So again, popular trope, in a popular fandom, in a popular ship. This fic is so old when I reread it, I usually find myself wanting to edit it, especially the ending. I was so ready to be done writing this that I think I rushed the ending. Oh well, writing plots is really difficult!

Fic you were nervous to post: Every fic? lol. I’m never not nervous to post a fic. But I’m definitely more nervous posting in a fandom for the first time. So posting “Whatever I Do (I Do It To Protect You)” (Rogue One, rebelcaptain) was pretty nervewracking, especially since it’d been awhile since I posted anything. [OOOH, fun fact, but WID celebrated it’s 4 year anniversary yesterday! Ha, that’s funny.] I was working on this fic for weeks before I posted it. 

I was also super nervous to post my Jeff/Annie Community soulmate AU, “Intro to Neurochemical Compatibility” because (a) first time posting in that fandom, (b) I decided to use script format which I know is not everyone’s jam, and (c) the premise is just so ridiculous! But I had fun with it. 

Also gift exchanges are always nerve-wracking because I worry the giftee won’t like it. My giftee never responded to my 2020 rebelcaptain secret santa fic so I’m actually constantly worrying that they didn’t like it and feeling bad that I failed them. :/ 

How you choose your titles: with so much agonizing. gosh it’s so hard and honestly i have so many titles that i hate. I’ve got a couple song lyric titles. a couple quotes. a couple “how to...” apparently that was a whole phase I went through. Either the titles come to me immediately, or I put off choosing a title until the absolutely moment I need to post it, and then spend hours agonizing over a quote/song lyric/phrase that fits and probably begging others for help.

Do you outline: YES. Possibly overly so. I’ve ran into issues in the past, when I was much younger, where I didn’t resolve problems proposed early in the story. So I need to know where the story is going in order to lay the proper groundwork. Also, if I do not write things down I forget them five minutes later. I also think outlining is a useful trick to jumpstart writing, so if the muse just isn’t present, I’ll try to lure her out by outlining. 

Complete: 19 fics. 

In progress: Oh boy this is so hard to count. As far as what’s posted? Technically only one: “How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days” (Rogue One, rebelcaptain). Despite the fact that I think the deadline was extended multiple time, I procrastinated and ended up rushing chapter one to meet the rebelcaptain rom-com challenge deadline. Didn’t really have a proper outline for this one, even though I knew vaguely what I wanted it to be about. I wrote chapter two but I hated what I wrote so I ... I kinda abandoned it. I mean technically, I never consider a work abandoned, I always intend to get back to it. Some day when I have the inspiration I will. But this idea ended up being a challenge I didn’t feel ready for at the time, and then my interest moved on to other ideas.

I also had a longer story planned for “you must become an island (the horizon is all we have)” but only posted one part of it to finish it on time. Ideally this fic would be part of a series, but again, motivation is needed so we’ll see

Technically I have 22 rebelcaptain ideas alone (including some listed in this post) at various states of completed, plus a handful of Community and HMC ideas. Of the ones I’m most interested in, there’s probably about 14 that I really hope to finish and post some day. 

ETA: omg i totally forgot that i was idly considering trying to finish my rebelcaptain soulmate AU in time for Valentine’s Day, but at this point I haven’t had any motivation to write so I don’t think that’s gonna happen. that fic has been sitting in my drafts since 2018 and in my drafts it will continue to sit.

Coming soon: “soon” is relative but these are currently the ones I’ve focused the most on recently:

Fencing AU (rebelcaptain)

You’ve Got Mail AU (rebelcaptain)

Post-War Fic with @allatariel (rebelcaptain, plus a LOT of other ships, includes Rebels characters, OT characters, and... maybe some others :) )

Palm Springs/time loop AU (Jeff/Annie)

Do you accept prompts: Wellllll here’s the thing. When I’ve asked for prompts, I haven’t been the best at fulfilling them in a timely manner. For that reason, I don’t encourage prompts but I’m not opposed to them. (I suppose technically exchange fics are prompts, and I wrote a bunch of fics in 2017 for rebelcaptainprompts, but I’m not gonna count those because I don’t think that’s what the question here is really going for)

“The Climb (A Lie, A Hero)” (Rogue One, rebelcaptain) was actually a prompt. 

I solicited prompts for my birthday in 2019, which I didn’t end up fulfilling until exactly one year later. 

Technically the You’ve Got Mail AU is a prompt, someone prompted me to write a fic for my favorite go-to comfort movie.

And, uh, the certain someone who tagged me for this meme prompted me in a comment back in October 2017 to do a Luke and Leia swap where Leia grows up on Tatooine, so that is sitting in my WIP list. 

Yeah, this is why I don’t solicit or encourage prompts. The return rate is just not fair for the prompter. 

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: this fluctuates on any given day. the fencing AU is so close to being done (well the first draft anyways) so i really really want to just finish it! But yeah it’d be anything on the coming soon list above.

tagging: @allatariel, @cats-and-metersticks, @lothcatlovesysalamiri, @veritascara, @brynnmclean and anyone who sees this and wants to do it! also ofc per usual no pressure if u don’t want to.

[diyeoracha]

IwaOi Master Fic Rec List (50+ Fics)

Hello! In celebration accumulating over 190+ bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi and Iwaizumi coming back into the manga (and for his (almost) birthday), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite fanfictions in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic on those works! I decided to split the works up by my own self-imposed genres, such as angst, coming-of-age (or the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope that we all love which depicts how their relationship changes as they grow up and will mostly be canon-compliant), and alternate universe. With the revival of Iwaizumi in the manga, alternate universes will be broken down into adulting AU where he and Oikawa’s diverge differs from in canon and actual, legit AU where there’s basically no volleyball.

I’ll include the title, link, word count, fic summary, and my own commentary (mostly for my own personal entertainment). While the AO3 fandom has been going strong since 2014, I personally have only been reading IwaOi fics for about 3 months, so I will most likely be recommending some cult-favorites, especially since I’ve been reading my fics by sorting through the tag with the most kudos.

My absolute favorites (or the ones where I personally push onto my IRL haikyuu friends) will be denoted with ♡ in increments of 1-3 with 3 ♡ being an absolute must-read. Fics marked with a * indicate that Iwaizumi or Oikawa or both are professional athletes because that’s honestly my Favorite Trope. This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! This took me about 9 days to compile (aka this was in my drafts for about 9 days) but I do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos!

Adulting AU 

*♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

Thoughts: THIS IS IT. THIS FIC IS GOD TIER. They’ve been separated but now are falling back into old habits and there’s a confession on the line? Akaashi is in here and he’s pretty funny. I reread this all the time.

*♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Thoughts: Absolutely the best IwaOi fic I’ve ever read. I’ve reread this about 4x and I always pay attention to a new sentence or detail that leaves me breathless. The characterization is pretty spot on, and I have to admit that this fic made me appreciate IwaOi a little more. I’ve cried countless times too. A cult-favorite but it doesn’t have nearly as many hits as it deserves.

♡days fall away

Word count: 17k

Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.

Thoughts: They’ve separated for a bit but now they’re back in the same city and learning to be around each other again. Cue teasing from the biological and Seijoh family

it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)

Word count: 8k

Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.

Thoughts: They’re living together post-college feat. snapshots from their lives before getting together and their Seijoh team! It’s really soft but it manages a humorous tone as well.

Time

Word count: 5k

Summary: When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Thoughts: A piecewise fic told from Oikawa’s point of view. The tone is almost chatty but it really fits the pacing of the work as you get snippets and sentences of their relationship throughout the years

♡Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Japan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.

Thoughts: They go on vacation right before Iwaizumi leaves Oikawa for a year. Oikawa ponders their relationship.

where fireflies never die

Word count: 4k

Summary: >>Oikawa: Hey Iwa-chan >>Oikawa: Did I ruin it?

Thoughts: Oikawa is a mangaka and basically writes his best selling series based off of him and Iwaizumi. This was pretty angsty ngl with a lot of introspection and second-guessing.

In the Business of Love

Word count: 22k

Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...

Thoughts: Mangaka Oikawa but this is basically a rom-com lmao

Alternate Universe

Even Heroes (have the right to dream) 

Word count: 20k 

Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet. 

Thoughts: Superhero-hiding-his-identity-Iwaizumi and begrudging Oikawa? Sign me up. This fic spent a little more time on worldbuilding than eventual romance, but it is still absolutely unique and entertaining

The secret omega

Word count: 17k

Summary: Iwaizumi’s annoying as fuck best friend. Who absolutely, definitely, no matter what, cannot find out that Iwaizumi is an omega.

Thoughts: A/B/O dynamics where Iwa is the omega and Oikawa is the alpha. 90% plot building which is pretty nice.

Conquering the Great King

Word count: 105k

Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

Thoughts: Malicious and flirtatious Oikawa meet immovable object Iwaizumi. They’re businessmen trying to navigate friends-with-benefits and love all at the same time. A+ sex scenes tbh. 

♡Infinite Risks

Word count: 8k

Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying.“It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.”

Thoughts: Edge of Tomorrow AU!!!!! Please watch Edge of Tomorrow first because it’s truly a brilliant movie that I wholly enjoyed and this fic reflects that. This also made me really sad so Beware

*♡Something Like Us

Word count: 28k

Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right?

Thoughts: ABO dynamics (and somewhat canon-compliant) as they’re roommates, on the national team, and try to navigate being “fake” mated while harboring feelings

And All the Prince’s Men

Word count: 65k

Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.”

Thoughts: Royal bastard son Oikawa and his servant Iwaizumi. An enthralling read and universe. The romance takes a secondary seat here as it focuses more on plot and world-building. 

♡long nights, no peace

Word count: 18k

Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul.

Thoughts: Pacific Rim! AU. Otherwise known as my favorite types of AUs because they’re basically soulmates (platonic or not,, but they’re not platonic here)

♡(sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate

Word count: 26k

Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow.

Thoughts: Warring states/historical fantasy AU. The world building is amazing and this author has great control over her language use

Cotton Breathing

Word count: 13k

Summary: 

Thoughts: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends Iwaoi!!! A dreamy summer piece and reading it almost makes me feel like I’m in a Studio Ghibli movie because of the mood it puts me in

Similar Creatures

Word count: 53k

Summary: "What's your name?" "Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.)

Thoughts: Iwaizumi is an escort and Oikawa needs a fancy date

Space

Word count: 44k

Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed

Thoughts: Oikawa’s in outerspace. They’re separated. This left me feeling pretty empty ngl.

♡here comes your man 

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.

Thoughts: Doctor AU where Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s relationship is pondered by Suga

In the Telling

Word count: 6k

Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru.

Thoughts: Harry Potter AU where they’re in the same year and aren’t really friends but are also friends

♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor

Word count: 76k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself.

Thoughts: Oh fuck this was Good. Yakuza boss Oikawa???? Disgraced Iwaizumi??? Do they fall in love (again)?

and suddenly, we were traitors

Word count: 17k

Summary: "sorry, it's just... you’ve been amazingly kind to me these past few days. ...but i'm still not sure who you are.”

Thoughts: The amnesia fic this fandom needed

Trial by Fire

Word count: 78k

Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)

Thoughts: Hot

dear diary, i met a boy

Word count: 15k

Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there.

Thoughts: Model Oikawa and salaryman Iwaizumi meet and try to make it work

on shipwreck shore

Word count: 8k

Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally.“You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.”

Thoughts: Detectives but they’re actually funny

♡Lockdown

Word count: 72k

Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime.

Thoughts: Orange is the New Black AU!!! Im a sl*t for tatted Iwaizumi

an allegory of all the things we could’ve been

Word count: 16k

Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.”

Thoughts: Reincarnation AU throughout the timelines. A good soft read that leaves you sort of empty

Angst

Timeless (We Have 30 Days)

Word count: 12k

Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.

Thoughts: Ahhhhhhhhh tears

the weight of water

Word count: 6k

Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet. “Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Again.” “Iwa-chan.”

Thoughts: Death fic 

open when

Word count: 1k

Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.

Thoughts: It takes only 1.6k words to make me cry

Canon Compliant/Coming-Of-Age

♡♡i sing the body electric

Word count: 8k

Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.

Thoughts: A beautifully introspective piece told from Iwaizumi’s point of view. It’s wholly intimate and it toes along the lines of pining and soft angst. It’s told in snippets from their lives growing up together. 

♡we can do better than that

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

Thoughts: There’s a lot of character analysis and it takes a step away from the casual banter they’re always portrayed to have and focuses on the intricacies of their relationship. The tone is almost a little more melancholy. (also they have to share a bed! trope)

♡when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?”OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

Thoughts: Oh This Is It IwaOi stans. This fic really solidified my own headcanon for Oikawa (spoiler alert, OP isn’t too fond of Oikawa but she fleshes out his character and his idiosyncrasies so well that you can’t help but be drawn into all of his imperfection) and this fic respects Iwaizumi as well. It has absolutely great characterization and the fic ends on an ambiguous note. 

to be first, to be best

Word count: 26k

Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

Thoughts: College roommates trying to navigate having feelings for each other while also dating others and not realizing that they’re jealous? A cult favorite.

♡things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)

Thoughts: Ahh a slow burn featuring daily moments between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Oikawa starts to notice the little things. This was a cute read because Oikawa just comes off as wonderfully earnest. My first Iwaoi fic! And a great one because it really set the standard to how I interpreted their relationship.

it’s better than words

Word count: 3k

Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]

Thoughts: Soft pining, fluff, banter, and whispered confessions. This fic really nailed the banter of high school students really well.

♡shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

Thoughts: Oikawa falls first and but Iwaizumi realizes his feelings later on! So soft, so slow burn, so much pining. We get to see their relationship through Iwaizumi’s eyes and actually read him analyze his own feelings.

♡we shine like diamonds

Word count: 26k

Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Thoughts: Character analysis, homophobia, and coming of age makes a good and angsty iwaoi fic

terrarium

Word count: 11k

Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Thoughts: Oikawa has a terrarium and names all of the rocks he puts in (that Iwaizumi gave him) “Iwa-chan #_”

Chasing Paper Suns

Word count: 10k

Summary: Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Thoughts: This was pretty sad tbh. Of what it means to grow up together and then suddenly having to adjust to living without each other’s presence.

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Thoughts: Of growing up together, making decisions for each other, and wanting to be together

Only the jellyfish know

Word count: 6k

Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation.That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.

Thoughts: Established relationship

Smut

strange.

Word count: 1k

Summary: "god, i fucking hate you."oikawa smiles, cause he knows it's not true. he knows iwaizumi loves him, knows iwaizumi adores him. but he plays along."i hate you too,"

Thoughts: It’s hot

Say My Name 

Word count: 2k

Summary: “Hey, have you ever tried saying my first name?” Iwaizumi blurts, and the thought jumps out of his subconscious only after he's posed the question.

Thoughts:

No Touching Allowed

Word count: 10k

Summary: “You’ve got one rule,” Iwaizumi winks at him.

Thoughts: ExoticDancer!Iwaizumi and stressed out/repressed businessman Oikawa also an AU.

Honorable Mentions

things wikipedia doesn’t tell you

pillow

Phone Home

Share my life, it’s yours to keep

in progress to you

no sleep in the city

The PDA jar

Kissmarked

[isidar-mithrim]

Tag game

Thank you for the tag @fightfortherightsofhouseelves and @clarensjoy!! 

Also, I’ll take this opportunity to apologize for all the tag-chain/game I ignored lately! I’m quite busy this period and while I do still check tumblr almost daily – especially now that I can’t wait for new @giblimort‘s amazing portraits *_* – it’s more like a few-minute scroll in the homepage and maybe read the occasional ficlet so I might miss the tags or more probably I might be lazy about answering them ^^’ But it always makes me smile that someone thought of me, so be aware that it’s appreciated and it makes my day lighter <3 @narukoibito @sybill-the-seer @ballerinaroy and I’m surely forgetting someone ^^’

Fandoms: Harry Potter, the one and only ;)

Where you post: Tumblr and Ao3, but I also have an account on the italian fan fiction page EFP (but my last stories are missing and most of the old ones that I’ve translated needs to be changed/edited, so I would kinda beg any passing italians to read them in English or ask me what version I would suggest XD). And one on Wattpad that I haven’t updated in a long while...

Most popular one-shot: Well I’m not sure what defines “popular” here, so I’ll kinda cheat and check the Ao3 stats I think for the first time ever and give you:

one for “most hits”: Fantasies [NSFW and basically Hinny PWP, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised it’s the one with most hits XD]

one for “most kudos”: Standing on tiptoe [whoa, hadn’t seen it coming!]

one for “most bookmarks”: Letters for beyond (featuring the Potters)

one for “most comment threads”: so there are 4 with the same number, two of them are the two above, and between the remaining two I’ll pick A new beginning, a post-war chat between Harry and Neville ^^

Most popular multi-chapter: among my only two proper multi chapters, of which one is incomplete so far and with just 2 chapter and the other is complete with just 3 short chapter (what an achievement XD), Better than fireworks  is the one among all of my stories, including one shots, with “most bookmark”, “most subscriptions” (by far) and also “most comments threads”: [all this support is absolutely amazing, but I admit also kinda make me feel guilty because it’s almost been a year since I posted it and promised to finish it, ups ^^’ And the ironic thing is that I still plan too. One day. Maybe XD]

But I’ll also cheat a little bit again, naming a4 one-shots series, “Have a biscuit”. If you like Neville and McGonagall, I’ll be honored if you’d give it a try ^^

Favourite story written so far: Ahhh that’s a tough one, I tend to be quite fond of my stories (yay for the modesty, lol – I swear that when I’m not that thrilled I always admit it, though XD)... Let’s say “As though by a mother” but I might give a different answer in a week XD

Fic you were nervous to post: I’m not sure I’m never actually “nervous” before posting (more like, afraid that the story won’t appreciated as a I hope/that it won’t interest people), but I guess I must have been a bit nervous before posting my first ever pic translated in English, which also happens to have a not-so-usual writing style: And yet it tastes good

How you choose your titles: Ahhhh, good question. I guess it depends. Tbh I’m not that good at titles, or sometime I have a (supposedly) great one in Italian that doesn’t really translate (or isn’t that good) in English or viceversa. [Example: the “Have a biscuit” serie has English titles that I like way better than the italians, but a story like “Souls of Ink”, while having a good ring in English, to me it’s way more powerful and poetic in Italian, “Anime d’inchiostro”].

Sometimes I don’t have a title until the end and I kinda throw something there, sometimes I have the title from the very beginning and it could be a big part in inspiring the story. I tend to use title that are neither too short nor too long, and I don’t usually use songs quotes or the like. Plus, I’m very happy if the words/phrasing of the title recur literally or metaphorically in the story! I also try to match the “feeling” of the title (and the summary) with the “feeling” of the story. Like, I’d go for a more poetic/dramatic one for an angst story, and for a more comedic-like one for something more fluffy or silly.

Complete: Well, that’s easy, since I mostly stay away from multi-chapters XD (and for good reasons – see above XD) All my one shots, and most of my “closed” series, as in, series that I imagined with a beginning and an end or something like that (so, series like “Next Generation” don’t really have a complete/incomplete status) 

In progress: Again “Better than Fireworks”, and I’ve also just realised that I’ve yet to finish translating (despite being at a decent point) the second and last chapter of “Of Matilda, war and Peace” [speaking about being bad a title, lol XD] Ups ^^’

Coming soon/Not yet started: ahhh coming soon probably nothing, ehm, but I’ve at least 4 one shots in the making and that I want to finish one day (most of them started months if not a years ago... I’ll list them below), plus the draft for the rest of Better than Fireworks, plus several random missing-moments or AUs ideas and a long Hinny post-war story started few years ago in Italian (roughly 100.000 written) that needs to be heavily rewritten, translated and possibly finished ^^ Same for a shorter bit of a Jily seventh-year story, if we have to say it all...

“Ghost of the past”, a Hinny one shot from Ginny’s pov with a difficult conversation – I’m very fond of this one, but I have to work on the second part/end. The first/main part is finished and even betaed by the amazing @narukoibito! <3

“Of those who stayed”, a silver trio one shot – again from Ginny’s pov – during DH, when they try to steal the sword. I’ve the first (long) chapter done and again, even betaed by the wonderful @floreatcastellumposts but knowing myself I want to finish it first. I might decide that it’s okay like this (in Italian I’ve already posted it a one shot), but since I had a sort of sequel in mind for now it’ll stay in my drafts ;)

“The man who lived” – This one is all in just Italian so far (I’m rewriting an old piece – I’d probably restart it directly in English now); again Ginny’s pov (wow, hadn’t realised it!), again DH, this time since she (in my head canon) realise Harry might have gone to Voldemort during the battle, until the end of the battle

A one shot that’s it’s a series of Hinny snippets about James Sirius Potter coming to life (from the very start). Old one written in Italian and never posted, that a again needs to be finished. Same for a collection of snippets around Hinny’s wedding (but this is “draftier”)

A one shot of Harry and the Potters waling Teddy at King Cross; I’ve just a very little bit of it written + most of the draft, and it would be the sequel of the one shot “What parents would want”

The random Missing Moments that I’ve have in mind are: a conversation between Bill and Ginny in the hospital wing in HBP, plus maybe a bit more from Ginny’s pov in that period (like going back home from Hogwarts); a conversation between Bill and Ron in DH, not sure if during Ron’s first or second stay and Shell Cottage; Hermione finding out about Arthur’s attack; Dumbledore taking Slughorn’s memory (when it happened, how he found out... I’ve several head canon about it!)

The random AUs moments (and I say moments just because I wouldn’t really be interested in writing a whole story, I only imagine few moments of it): Hermione brining Harry at the Burrow at Christmas after Godric’s Hollow, with is locket attached to his chest (I think I stole the idea from Flo’s!); the trio finding Ginny in the cell in Malfoy Manor as well; and some dumb “Lily and James are resurrected post DH” trash XD Oh, also a real muggle AU with Harry as a self-defence coach and Ginny as trainee!

Do you accept prompts? As you can imagine especially in this period I’m not very good at commitment ^^’, but if you have a specific idea and want to give it a try (maybe during the winter holidays?) I’d be honored, if not able to make any promises!

Upcoming works you’re most excited about: definitely “Ghost of the past”!

I’m tagging @ballerinaroy again, @remedial-potions, @thedistantdusk, @thebiwholived and whoever wants to join ^^

EDIT: Ehm I got caught up with the stats when I wrote this and without realizing it I put a multi chapter in the “Most popular one shot” section, lol XD Problem fixed ;)

[untitledbkdkblog]

took me a bit longer then I wanted, but I managed to finish before his birthday was over in my timezone. happy birthday blasty, glad you got to spend it with your greenbean

AO3 link

edit: in my rush to post before it hit midnight in my timezone, I forgot to tag @third-winchester-second-potter and thank them for the photo album idea

Three months nine days and approximately eighteen hours, that's how long Izuku had been planning this. This, the best damn birthday ever, as to be proclaimed by his boyfriend Katsuki, as soon as it’s over. After nearly two decades of knowing each other, and three years together, properly, it had been hard to track down every picture of them, but he was sure now that he had found most of them at least. Between what he got from his mom, Katsuki’s parents, and their old classmates from UA, he now had a photo album thicker than most of the books they had to lug around in their third year of high school. But the real surprise, that wouldn’t be till the end, not till after dinner, not till Katsuki got to the last page of the book. That’s the part Izuku had really put the most work into.

Tracking down all the photos, reserving a nice table at Katsuki’s favorite restaurant, making sure no press would be around to disturb the high ranking duo, and worst of all, making sure Katsuki had a nice looking suit to wear, it was all a breeze compared to putting together the last page of the photo album. He had poured his heart and soul into it, and keeping his boyfriend from finding the rough drafts had been hell. He’d take the entire League of Villains any day over trying to hide shit from a pro hero ever again.

    Fixing his tie in the mirror he knew it would all be worth it though. He had made sure tonight was going to be perfect, the best birthday Katsuki would ever have. Taking a moment to take one last look at himself, he nodded. “Alright, go time. This may be a sensitive mission, but I’ve planned out everything. Well, almost everything, but I can’t make a plan for the impossible. That’s just impractical.” Grabbing the nicely wrapped package of the foot of their bed and tucking it under his arm he stepped out of the bedroom, and right into his boyfriend's chest.

    “Damn Deku, took you long enough to get ready,” Katsuki chuckled, grabbing Izuku’s arms so he wouldn’t topple over. “Weren't you the one in a hurry earlier?”

    Smoothing out his boyfriend’s suit, and then his own, Izuku nodded. “We are in a hurry.” Taking Katsuki’s hand he made his way towards the front of their house. “I took the appropriate amount of time to get ready. You’re the one who took twenty minutes to put on that tie, Kacchan.” 

    A sigh, a very dramatic sigh in Izuku’s opinion. “I hate these damn things Deku, is it really necessary? Where are we even going?” Katsuki closed and locked the door behind them, before following Izuku to the car.

    “If I told you,” Izuku leaned into the backseat, placing the present down there, “Then it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?” Standing back up, he noticed his boyfriend still standing on the drivers side. “You can’t drive Kacchan, I’m the one who knows where we’re going.”

    “Nah, wasn’t planning on it.” He grinned. “Just enjoying the view.”

    Now it was izuku’s turn to sigh. “Get in the car Kacchan. You can enjoy the view all you want after dinner.” Getting into the driver's seat, Izuku heard a chuckle, and simply rolled his eyes as he waited for Katsuki to be ready to go.

The ride to the restaurant was mostly uneventful, filled with the sounds of the radio, and Katsuki insisting to know where they were headed, as Izuku took a less than direct route there. Both for the sake of surprising his boyfriend, and to make sure no one was following them. Even with the indirect route Katsuki still managed to guess about a block away from the restaurant, leaving Izuku grumbling about a blindfold.

Once there Katsuki ordered, predictably, the spiciest thing on the menu. The two ate and talked, and as it got later watched as the restaurant cleared out. Twenty minutes to midnight Izuku finally gave his boyfriend the present. “Oh can I open this now? And here I was starting to think it was just an empty box you wrapped up to look pretty, Deku.”

Izuku rolled his eyes, laughing. “Don’t worry Kacchan, that's not till next year's gift.” He was fidgeting a bit now, picking at his hands and unable to sit still. Luckily, Katsuki was too invested in unwrapping the book. “Anyways, I think you’ll like this a bit more than an empty box.”

Laughing as he tossed the wrapping paper at his boyfriend, Katsuki looked up at him. “Only a bit more? Damn deku, and here I thought you’d put a bit more thought into my present then that. Or was all the dramatics over the suit and restaurant a ruse?”

“That’s it. You’ve caught me.” He tucked the crumpled up paper under the table for the time being. “All of this was just a cunning ruse.” Katsuki was looking down at the photo album now. “All I got you was a book you’ll probably only look at this once.”

Izuku had feared that Katsuki would simply open it, leaf through the pages, then close it again, but was able to sigh in relief as he slowly made his way through the pages. Izuku kept moving in his chair as Katsuki took the time to stop and look at all the pictures. He frowned, a worrying sight, until Izuku noticed where he was. A little less than halfway is a gap in the pictures, as a startling jump from seven year old Izuku and Katsuki to nearly sixteen year old Izuku and Katsuki was made. A nearly ten year gap in age, that Izuku knew Katsuki regretted. He sighed in relief as his boyfriend kept going, and his expression softened. Three quarters of the way through he looked up. “How long did this take you.?”

“Long enough that Kirishima was a real pal for letting me keep it at his place when I wasn’t working on it. Putting them all in the right order was still only the second hardest part of it all.” He smiled, urging Katsuki to keep going.

With a nod, Katsuki went back to the pictures. “That explains why you two kept making excuses to hang out the last couple of months.” Izuku blushed, a bit embarrassed at having been caught, and Katsuki chukled. “Relax, if it had been anyone but you two I might have been worried, but I have it on good authority that Kirishima’s planning something for you know who, so I assumed he was getting your help on that too.”

Izuku chuckled now. “So you heard that too, huh. Well, yea, we were both helping each other out with our projects.”

“Well now, that sounds ominous Deku. What have you been planning?” Katsuki looked up and grinned, just as he turned to the last page.

With an eye roll Izuku nodded to the book. “Why don’t you finish the last page first. I put a lot of work into that, you know.” Katsuki threw his hands up in defeat, looking down to the last page.On the left page was a photo taken after their last big mission, the two of them standing side by side, hands clasped and in the air above them. And on the right page was a letter. 

“If I told the little green boy, in the beginning of this book, where he would be at twenty two he would think it was a dream come true. If i told that same boy during the empty page where he would be, he’d think I was lying to him. And if I told him just five years ago, he’d think it was impossible. But it’s not. It took a lot of work, on both our parts, but it was possible, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know you mourn for the time we missed out in middle school, and I do too, sometimes, but our relationship is so much stronger now for it. We’ve moved past that, and worked for a friendship. For a relationship. Built on talking, and understanding, and most importantly, sharing. That little quirkless boy has become the hero he always dreamed to be, and he’s done it with the partner he always wanted standing beside him. Some days I still have to pinch myself, just to reassure myself that this is real, because you make me so happy, even when we’ve both had a bad day at work, and I could never ask for anything more. We’ve known each other our whole lives, and I want to be able to say that, for the rest of mine. Whether I live till ninety nine, or just till next week. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and that’s why, Kacchan, I need you to finish reading this, and look back to me again.”

As Katsuki read Izuku grabbed the much smaller box he had hidden in his suit’s inner pocket, and quietly got down on his knee, waiting for his boyfriend to finish reading. By the time he did look at Izuku, Katsuki’s eyes were red around the edges, and even in the low lighting of the restaurant Izuku could tell they were shiny with the beginnings of unshed tears. He heard Katsuki whisper his name, but ignored him as he opened the box. “I’ve been thinking about how to do this for a very long time, and at some point I realised, I was never going to be able to make it perfect, because no matter what I tried to plan, I always thought of something better three days later. So I decided, why bother with perfect, when I could do something, us, instead. That’s what we’ve done our whole lives after all.” As he was talking Katsuki got down on the floor with him, so they were kneeling in front of each other, both properly crying now. “It seems silly, to ask you to make me the happiest man alive on your birthday, but what can I say, I’ve always taken a shot at what I want.” They both chuckled at that. “So Kacchan, will you marry me?”

It was silent for fifteen, agonizing seconds, before Katsuki pulled him into a hug, laughing his ass off. “Of course I will.” He kissed Izuku once before pulling back to look at him. “You’re a dumbass though, you know that? Not perfect my ass. We could have gotten takeout at home, and you could have shoved it in my face and said ‘let's do it’ and it would have been perfect. You always overthink everything. And I love you.”

Izuku wiped some of the tears away from his own face, laughing a bit. “I love you too Kacchan. Thank you.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the one who should be thanking you right now Deku. For the best damn birthday ever.” Katsuki smiled, pulling his fiance in for another kiss, longer this time, and full of promises.

[out-of-this-dimension]

Hey you've been quiet for awhile, everything okay?

So I had this huge thing typed up then Tumblr deleted it in typical Tumblr fashion. I’m gonna be posting a bit of a brief version of what the OG draft said under the cut.  I wanna be up front about this because I think it’s something that everyone in fandom spaces encounters at some point:

I am absolutely going to preface this by saying that I’m not upset at anyone and no one really caused this except me.  I have some issues I gotta work out so I’m doing my best to work them out.  

I’ve been a bit distant on all social media for two reasons.  I guess you could say I’ve been feeling a bit weird about Star Fox, though more specifically my own contributions to the fandom.  I’ve been feeling a bit disappointed in my SF-related works (fics, theories, headcanons-- although the fics have been the biggest thing lately) and a bit in myself as well.  I started to feel probably around January that my works were starting to get a bit... stale.  Like maybe I was being a bit redundant in my writing, maybe my headcanons weren’t as interesting as other people’s, etc.  I do write mostly for myself and for my own satisfaction-- don’t get me wrong, I didn’t come up with these headcanons and stories for the purposes of getting “attention” or anything like that.  I wrote them because I wanted to.  But I started... slipping into a bad mindset about it.  A toxic mindset.  I started comparing views/comments/likes on my stuff to other people’s works on sites like AO3 and FF.net. And there were times when I’d read these fics that had huge followings and I’d be upset.  And what’s stupid is I’d read them knowing I’d probably get upset because I’d read them and I’d feel like I’d put more effort into my stuff than this other random person put into their stuff.  Talk about yikes, right?

And I don’t like to think of myself as a bad person but what I was doing was very bad.  And very toxic.  And I realized it was turning me into a person that was irritable and judgmental.  

I also started getting worried that I was being too pushy with my ideas in fandom spaces.  I am aware that there are Discord servers out there that I’m not a part of that have talked about my theories and headcanons... and that level of “fame” (I mean is anyone in this fandom really famous LOL) had me worried that maybe people were taking everything I said and like... treating me like a Lore Authority, which I’m definitely not!  I may research stuff but tbh, I’ve gotten stuff wrong before-- it happens.  And that fear kind of made me think that maybe I was being pushy, in a sense.  When people talk about their headcanons regarding a character, sometimes I wanna talk about mine too because they inspire me... I felt like maybe I was being a bad listener.  And I was getting worried that people were looking at my headcanon posts and just assuming that because I’m passionate, I was trying to be that Lore Authority figure that I definitely am not.  I’m so scared of coming across that way because I don’t want to stifle other people’s creativity and make them think that if they’re “around me”, then they have to adopt a certain set of ideas for the series-- I’ve been around people like that, trust me, it’s awful.  That’s why I made that post ehhhh a month or so ago about it being okay if an idea doesn’t vibe with you.  I never want people to feel that they have to agree with me every time.  I like invoking conversation, not dominating it and I got scared I was dominating.

So overall, both of those things kinda left me feeling a bit bad regarding the fandom and I thought it would be best to pull away from social media for a bit.  I’m steadily getting over this funk I’ve been in.  I just need to figure myself out before I engaged with other people because I want to make sure I’m in a healthy mindset.  

So uh here’s the tl;dr for that segment -- I was worried I was being pushy and I was feeling inadequate and maybe boring and I was doing a bad thing by comparing myself to other people.  I feel like just about everyone who creates content goes through this in some way shape or form... so I just wanted to be candid about it.

The second reason I’ve been gone is less depressing and less of me being a dumbass.  I’ve been working on an original novel since mid-February.  The idea literally hit me at 3am one night and I started writing.  It’s... pretty much consumed most of my focus, I won’t lie.  If I write, it’s usually on this novel and I spend probably minimum 3hrs a day on it.  It’s sitting at 70k words atm with two chapters left before the first draft is concluded and editing begins.  And after that?  Probably will start looking for a literary agent!

I... can’t even verbalize how excited I am about this project.  I’ve had lots of characters I’ve created that I’ve felt very attached to but this particular cast feels like it has something special.  They’re near and dear to my heart and so is the story.  I’ve been enjoying the realization that every headcanon I make about these characters is canon because I’m the creator.  Oh the power.

Anyways, I do apologize for being gone but I figured it’d be better that I kind of go quiet than me being in such a bad mindset and engaging with people.  I think a break has been very good for me.  I certainly feel a bit more in-tuned with myself.  I’ll make a triumphant return when I feel like the time is right-- hopefully much wiser than I was before my break.

[solange-lol]

not so typical love song - ch. 1/13

Chapter Title: Rollarcoaster

Words: 3,050

Note: my piece for the @pjo-hoo-bigbang !!! special thanks to @shelbychild and @wisdom-walks-alone for editing and helping me develop this story! it wouldnt exist w/o y’all!

Art by @lizzybizzyo! <3

[ one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight (coming soon)]

read on ao3

—

Nico is staring at his computer, wordless. This isn't writer's block or surprise; it’s just the unknown reality of what this situation could lead to.

Another gay kid in his school. Another gay kid that isn’t Mitchell—who’s been out since 8th grade, and the only one to be out since then. Another kid at their school who’s hiding a secret. 

Nico doesn’t even know if this kid is a boy or a girl or what, and frankly, he doesn’t care. There’s another kid like him. And he has no idea how to respond to the post.

The post is a submission from their school’s gossip blog on Tumblr, the notorious ‘hb-secrets.’ Piper had called him an hour ago, asking if he’d seen it yet.

“Seen what?” he had responded.

“The post on hb-secrets? About the closeted gay kid?” It hit Nico like a wall of bricks as he quickly went to pull up the website. Did somebody know? It was a relief when he saw the clipart Ferris wheel and a few short lines submitted by a blog called blue0919.

“I bet it’s that Brazilian sophomore. Paolo or whatever? Or maybe it’s Connor Stoll! I swear he’s been flirting with Mitchell, but Annabeth keeps telling me that he’s into Lacy or someone,” Piper continued as he read, but it was going in one ear and out the other as he processed the words on the screen

Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck on a Ferris wheel. One minute I’m on top of the world, and the next minute I’m at rock bottom. Over and over all day long, because a lot of my life is great. But nobody knows I’m gay.

“Gotta go. I’ll talk later,” Nico said quickly, switching off his phone. He knew it would raise suspicion, but it felt like time was turning in on itself. Nobody knew about Nico. In fact, nobody ever even suspected. He’s never been called names besides “Death Boy.” And yet, there were the exact words that described his life, written out in front of him like they were a second thought.

And now, he was staring at his computer with an empty Gmail draft open. The original poster had left their email at the end of the post, so Nico after glancing quickly at his Panic! at the Disco poster still proudly hanging on his wall, typed out a new address. He was stuck, though, unsure of what to say from here. 

So, he started from the beginning.

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 6:48 PM

Subject: Hey

Somehow you’ve managed to type exactly what I feel. Sorta scary, as if you’re inside my head or something. Maybe it’s just a gay thing to be speaking in metaphors about the pressure of everyday society.

That’s what I am. Gay. I don’t know if I’ve ever really said it out loud to myself.

It’s weird because I never really had a perfectly normal life. My mom died when I was young, so I never really got to meet her. My sister and I have always been super close until she went away to college. Now, not as much. I guess that’s just what happens when you live a million miles away. 

And I’ve known my stepmom longer than I knew my real mom, but it was only a few years ago when I met my half-sister when she came to live with us because her mom died as well. Meaning, she isn’t the daughter of my stepmom. It’s a long story, and not really one I want to get into.

She’s super nice though. It’s funny, but despite being polar opposites with my older sister, they’re both mushy inside. Same with my stepmom. And my dad… he tries his best. We’re like exactly what you expect from a slightly broken family. Plus my dog who my cousin gave to me during a rough time. Honestly, she’s probably my favorite sibling out of them all. (Both my sisters would kill me if they knew I wrote that.)

And then there are my friends. I have some that are closer than others; Two of them I’ve known for a while now, and one who I only met recently but treats me better than some of the people I’ve known my whole life. While I admit, I’m not the most social person in the world, they’re pretty amazing as far as friends go. 

So there it is. My perfectly normal life. Except for that huge ass secret.

He typed and retyped each line what felt like a thousand times, deleting word after word. He didn't know what was too much. It all felt like too much, really. He didn’t even know if he could trust this person.

Signing it was the worst part; he didn’t have any good pseudonyms. Eventually, he decided to leave it blank.

Without a second thought, Nico hit ‘send’ before leaning back in his chair and putting his hands over his head. Only a second later, a light knock came from the door, causing him to quickly sit up as Hazel popped her head in.

“Dinner’s ready if you wanna eat,” she smiled. She left just as quickly as she came, curls bouncing as she walked away. They had gotten over the awkwardness of having a new sibling only months after Hazel moved in, but there was still some strangeness. To this day, Nico was still a lot closer to her than Bianca was. Either way, Nico knew he would do anything for her. (Not that he would admit that. He didn't even need to, Hazel already knew.)

Nico glanced back at his computer, but there was nothing in his inbox besides the Gmail “Welcome” email. It was stupid to think this person would respond that quickly, seeing as Nico didn't even know if they would respond at all. Heaving a sigh, he got up to join his family for dinner. Maybe he could even convince them to watch Steven Universe instead of The Bachelor.

---

Dinner went as expected. It’d been a while, actually, since they were all together for a meal. Hazel talked about her psycho geometry teacher and a boy she talked in the class named Frank, who seemed sweet but apparently had a shared hatred for math just like her. Nico didn’t say much, although chimed in at the latter, saying he better be the flower boy at their wedding. That even got a short scoff out of his father, which tended to be the closest Nico ever got him laughing. So, that was a win. 

However, he was a little more distant than usual. The pending email response was in the back of his mind during the entire meal.

Even afterward, as they watched reruns of Glee (a compromise made between Hazel and Nico, much to their father’s dismay), Nico couldn’t focus. It felt like a weight was burning through his back pocket. After the second episode (and laughing his ass off at his father’s reaction to Kurt’s ‘Single Ladies’ dance) he finally excused himself. 

He tapped the Gmail app on his phone as soon as he had reached his room. It felt like his heart skipped a beat when he noticed the new notification, a response from the original poster. With slightly shaky hands, he tapped the response, and a message opened up.

From: blue0919@gmail.com

To: bettertoburn@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 8:12 PM

Subject: I’ve never done this before

Dear anonymous person on the internet,

I really don’t know where to begin. I’m also not sure if you're a real person. For all I know you could be some random pedophile like one of those cases they warned us about in health class for the past 5 years, even though it’s never happened within the last decade.

But in case you are real, hello! I’m the original poster from that hb-secrets thread about life being a Ferris wheel. I’m rereading what I wrote there and I can’t stop cringing, so I’ll start by apologizing for that. I’m not usually one for metaphors, even the bad ones.

Anyway, it sounds like you identify with what I wrote. I’m glad you emailed me; I didn’t think anyone would actually do anything with the email that I left. Except maybe be extremely homophobic. But it made me feel less like I was shouting into the void, so thanks for that. And I assume you’re okay with me writing back since you sent me the first email. Though, I can’t believe I’m actually writing to you. I really didn’t think I would.

I guess I’m thinking it could be nice to talk with someone who can relate to how I’m feeling. No pressure, of course, but feel free to write back if you want to. I don’t want to use my real name, but you can call me Blue. 

It was surreal. Someone who was like Nico. Someone who wanted to talk to Nico because they were like him. 

He started to type again, with more excitement than he’s ever felt. He’s never been able to express this part of him before. It was almost like first date jitters-type feeling. 

(Not that he really knew what that was like.)

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 8:23 PM

Subject: Re: I’ve never done this before

Hi, Blue

Wow, I’m actually kind of flipping out right now, because I seriously didn’t think I’d hear from you, especially so quickly. Wow. Okay. First of all, thanks for your email and also for your Tumblr post. I really liked it, Blue, and it wasn’t cringy at all, I promise.

So do you go here (here meaning HBHS)? I do, I’m a junior. And I’m a guy (are you a guy?) Anyway, I could relate a lot to your post, Like, pretty much all of it, but especially the part about being gay. You probably figured that out already though. And I’m not out yet either, which you probably figured that part out too. 

I guess a part of me wants to be out, but a part of me’s like… no. It’s hard to explain. I don’t know. Maybe you get it.

So yeah, it’s really nice to meet you! This is kind of cool, right? Even writing this email makes me feel eleven times less alone.

-Angel (not my real name either, two can play at this game. It’s not like a pet-name type thing. If you ever find out who I am, you’ll understand why.) 

He was worried about the whole name-signing thing. ‘Angel’ was just the easiest thing; it was a direct translation of his last name. He was really hoping Blue still didn’t take it in a weird way, even with that last note.

Relief flooded through him when he read the first sentence of Blue’s next email. 

From: blue0919@gmail.com

To: bettertoburn@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 8:41 PM

Subject: Re: I’ve never done this before

Angel, huh? Maybe like guardian angel perhaps. 

Also, eleven times less alone? That’s oddly specific. :) But I know exactly what you mean.

Anyway, wow. Hi. You wrote back, and quickly too. I’m really glad you liked my post. Now I’m actually happy I put it out there. I have to admit, it’s strange to be writing a somewhat personal email to you when we don’t know each other’s identities. Though, in a way, I guess that makes it easier. Sorta like a therapist, except we’re both blindfolded and have the same problem. So not really a therapist, I guess.

Do you think therapists have therapists? Like, if the problems get to be too much for them? Is there an Almighty Therapist who just absorbs everyone's issues and feels nothing?

Anyway, I am a guy, and I’m also a junior at HB. I think you’re actually the first other gay guy I’ve met here. It’s pretty surreal to be talking to you. (In a good way though.) I wonder if we know each other in real life. 

And I think I understand what you mean. I feel like I’m constantly going back and forth about wanting to come out. I have these moments where I’m almost bursting to tell people. Of course, that’s where I was when I posted the thing on Tumblr. But I always feel so weird about it a few hours later, and sometimes I’m intensely relieved no one knows yet. What about you?

-Blue

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 9:12 PM

Subject: Re: I’ve never done this before

I mean, let’s be real, eleven is the best number, which is perfect because we’re both in eleventh grade. And I can't believe we’re both juniors. The class is pretty small compared to the others, so I bet we do know each other, which is weird to think about. What if we’re actually enemies in real life? Do you have enemies? I don’t think I do, not really. Various people tend to annoy me a lot. It’s not even their fault; some people just have really punchable faces.

 (I’m usually a really nonviolent person. I’m more like a violent person who at the same doesn’t really want to hurt anyone, so I have to resort to fantasizing about punching people, which just ends in eating my feelings in large quantities of McDonald’s.)

It’s funny for me, it’s actually not so much that go back and forth about wanting to come out. It’s like I simultaneously do and don’t want to be out. Which is pretty freaking exhausting, honestly. Like I’m in this constant state of JUST SAY IT and NO NEVER. Do you think that ever ends? I don’t know, maybe I’m just a really indecisive person. I think part of me is also just holding out until college when I’m away from anyone I know and can just reinvent myself.

So what kind of stuff do you like to do after school and everything?

-Angel

From: blue0919@gmail.com

To: bettertoburn@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 9:34 PM

Subject: Re: I’ve never done this before

I don’t think I have any enemies, but now I’m definitely wondering if I’m the guy with the punchable face. How do you know if you have a punchable face? I’ve never been punched, so hopefully, that’s a good sign. 

I will say, I’m definitely with you on the issue of eating your feelings. I’m the person who has never smoked a cigarette or gotten drunk or anything like that, and I'm usually relatively healthy. However, I once ate five jars of Nutella in one sitting. I do not recommend, 

I’m indecisive, too, in some ways. Okay, full disclosure: I was really conflicted when you sent me that email. I kept going back and forth about whether I should email you. I was (and am) definitely intrigued, but I guess I was also a little bit paranoid. It’s just that you could have been anyone, and it’s hard to know sometimes if someone’s being a jerk or if they’re being sincere. Plus my cousin sort of actually outed me. Not to anyone else, he’s the only one who knows, but now I’m super paranoid about coming out. (Exactly what you said about holding out until college. I’m thinking I can move to LA or somewhere where nobody really cares. Although I wouldn’t want to reinvent myself. And I don’t want you to reinvent yourself either, you’re pretty cool as you are I think.) Anyway, I’m really glad I decided to email you, though.

So, you’re probably going to think I’m ridiculous, but I’d rather not answer your last question. It’s just… I think I like being anonymous for now. Is that okay?

-Blue

Okay, that last part was fair. Nico understood the wanting-to-be-anonymous thing. Sure, they go to the same school. But Blue had no reason to entirely trust him; Nico didn’t really trust Blue at all. This could entirely be some random asshole anywhere in the world trying to find him and beat him up, or worse. It sucked that homophobia was still a thing in their day and age. 

But Blue said he liked talking to Nico, and it was thrilling to talk to him. It was another secret of his, but not one he entirely minded keeping. So, he chose to believe that Blue was actually who he said he was. 

From: bettertoburn@gmail.com

To: blue0919@gmail.com

Date: Oct 2 at 9:57 PM

Subject: Punchability

Blue, you have so much to learn about the rules of punchability, starting with the fact that it is completely impossible for you to have a punchable face. Rule number one: guys who make metaphors about Ferris wheels are automatically unpunchable. Rule number two: There isn’t one. Just rule number one, so memorize it. Everyone else can catch these fists. (Catch these fists? These hands? This would probably be more intimidating if I knew the correct phrasing)

Also, five jars of Nutella in one sitting is the worst idea I’ve ever heard in my life. Challenge accepted.

I don’t think you’re ridiculous, Blue. I totally understand why you don't want to tell me about your extracurricular activities (I’m guessing interpretive dance, though, you seem like the type.) But seriously, I get it. It’s this weird contradiction, right? It’s so much easier to be open with someone who doesn't know you at all. We’ll be each other's Ultimate Therapists. 

(Except I don’t think I could ever be a therapist.)

Anyway, I’m really glad you decided to email me back, too :)

-Angel

That smiley face was really unlike him. 

Nico sent the email, but after nearly an hour, he didn’t get on back, which meant Blue was probably asleep. Which was different from what Nico was used to; he tended to stay awake until the early hours of the morning most nights. But it wasn’t anything he minded. He had a conversation with Blue, and even if that was the last one they would ever have (which, he was hoping it wouldn’t be), it was good to know that there was somewhere out there like him.

[ljandersen]

Author Interview

Thank you for tagging me @rpgwarrior4824!

Tagging:  @ripley95things or anyone who writes fanfic and wants to play!

Name: LJAndersen

Fandoms: Mass Effect Trilogy

Where You Post: AO3 and FFN

Most Popular One-Shot: “The Limited Edition Spaceship”  It’s also the most unpopular, since it’s the only one-shot I’ve written.  I like the glass half full outlook though.  I’ll go with popular.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: “About Horizon . . .”  I’m not sure how to quantify “popular.”  The longer a story’s been posted, the more hits is accrues.  That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s popular.  “Horizon” has the most kudos.  I’ll use that as my surrogate marker for popularity, I guess.

Favorite Story You Wrote: “Burning Barriers”  It’s the first story I wrote, and as my own reader, the best.  I had never finished a novel-length story before.  Writing fanfiction relieved the pressure I put on myself to be prefect.  I published it in one giant chunk.  Now, wiser to the fanfic culture, I wish I would have released it chapter by chapter.  It’s size is intimidating as a whole, and it kind of faded into history.  

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Hmm, I think I’ll go with chapter more than story.  My first story made me nervous, of course, because it was all new.  It was the first time I let anyone read something I’d written.  I didn’t know what to expect.  Silence was probably my biggest fear.  Really in retrospect I was more fearful than nervous, per se.  If strictly talking nervous, then I go with the second chapter of “About Mars . . .”  It was the scene on Mars between Kaidan and Shepard.  It had a different tone than the rest of the story.  I worried about it throwing readers off.  It had in-game dialogue and covered on-screen action, which I usually avoid.  I don’t like covering what I’ve already played.  I can read it a thousand different ways from other fanfic writers and love it, but it bores me to write it myself.  In-game dialogue seems so stilted when it’s on the page.

How You Choose Your Titles:  No method.  I try to convey what the story is about like everyone else does.  “About Mars,” “About Horizon,” and “The Limited Edition Spaceship” are pretty right on the nose.  “Eighteen Years and Five Months” was one title I knew right away.  It matched the story’s theme and was a repeated phrase.  “Burning Barriers” was meant to be a double meaning.  The story focuses a lot on biotics, especially making barriers.  It’s important to the plot.  Fire and burning play a role.  Likewise, Kaidan and Shepard are burning for each other trying to overcome the relationship barriers keeping them apart.

Complete:  Five.  I’m counting the current one, because it’s written and edited.  I’m just releasing it chapter by chapter.

In-complete:  And posted?  None.  I write the whole story and edit it as one piece before posting it.  What if I needed to add foreshadowing, change a subplot, cut threads?  First edits can be extensive for me.

Do You Outline: Not on paper.  It’s in my head.  Thus, the extensive editing after the first draft.

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:  It’s tentatively titled either “Home Away from Home” or “Someplace Like Home.”  It’s set twelve years after the end of ME-3.  It’s Shenko, of course.  Its plot is elaborate, and I’ve been writing it for almost a year.  Technically it’s a sequel to “Burning Barriers” but written to stand alone.  It’s plot is completely separate.    

You Accept Prompts:  Sure.  I’ve never had one, but it could be fun.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write:  I’m only working on “Home Away from Home” right now.  I estimate being 75% done with the first draft.  Editing will be a long process though.  Yikes. 

[drstrangewillseeyounow]

Creative Year in Review 2019

Total number of creations? (Or a rough guess!)

14 stories for a total of 116,020 words across six fandoms, all of which can be found on AO3 (strangeallure)

Nine for Star Trek: Discovery and one each for Star Trek AOS, Star Trek Voyager, Penny Dreadful, Star Wars Legends and Venom (Movie)

up from 12 stories and 50,537 words total in 2018

What characters or ships have you created the most content for this year?

Michael Burnham/Ash Tyler: 78,446 words (7 stories)

I’ve only written more than one story for one other ship, namely

Paul Stamets/Hugh Culber: 3,443 words (2 stories)

but my longest non-Ashburn fic was this

Nyota Uhura/Gaila (AOS): 16,560 words (1 story)

Everything that wasn’t Ashburn (68%) was written for challenges or as a gift (38k, 32%).

 Was there a project that you didn’t get around to?

Too many, as always. Out of the four WIPs I said I wanted to come to fruition last time, two did (Back to Where We’ve Never Been and What If We Would Stay?), and I never wrote that Ashburn remix of Franipani’s fic I meant to do.

What was the creation you had the most fun making?

In every longer (and most shorter) fics, there’s usually a time where I feel like I’m hitting a wall, either can’t get started, can’t start up again or feel like editing is just not working out, but eventually, I reach a point where it all comes together, where I know what to let go and change to make the story better (I’m a big fan of cutting things), and in the end, that is a very rewarding state while it lasts.

I have a very distinct memory of getting into the flow for What If We Would Stay? and since I had worked on it forever, that was a great place to be.

On the Line came together quickly, over two days or so (I wrote it when I felt completely stuck on my WIP), so that was nice, too.

You’re the Chance I Want to Take (Nyota Uhura/Gaila) was a lot of fun to write because it’s an on-planet sci-fi adventure, which is something I hadn’t really written before. The characters crash-land in a desert and make their way through a cave system and a rain forest, so there’s exploration, tech jerry-rigging and team work. It felt a lot like writing an episode for one of the episodic-era Treks.

Any surprises? (E.g. a character or ship you never thought you’d create for or a project that came out of nowhere?)

The two biggest surprises are both Frangipani’s fault.

She had wanted a Venom OT3 fic, which I started (since the movie was surprisingly good fun) but never finished in 2018, but when Cupidsbow declared a “Venomtimes Day” challenge in early 2019, that gave me the boost to finish You’re A Snack, But You’re Much More Than That. Although I have to say, it’s mainly on the cracky romance side of things (Venom coaxes Eddie into wooing Anne), not explicit.  

The other surprise was writing Star Wars Legends and somnophilia - in one fic, no less. I only know Legends (and Mara Jade) through beta’ing a few of Frangi’s amazing fics, and her Mara is a layered, complex and intriguing character. I’m more of a romantic shipper myself (with canon-induced angst where applicable, but ultimately, I write to get my characters in a good, healthy place), but since Frangi loves fucked up things, I tried to go all out and write Mara as a horrible person, which lead me to somnophilia. It was an interesting and fun challenge to write, and I usually like my writing better the darker the subject matter is (which is unfortunate when you want your characters to be happy, but well …).

Oh, one more: I started posting my first real chaptered fic in June (and I posted my first fanfic in the late 90s). I had a complete first draft of about 18k words and thought I could be done posting it as a WIP within a month. Instead it took me 45k and until the end of December. I’m proud of Object Lessons, but I don’t think I’ll ever begin posting again before I have at least a more polished second draft and a chapter breakdown. It was definitely a learning experience.

What was the hardest creation to make?

Object Lessons because it kept growing and I wanted for it to be coherent and combine character and relationship growth. I even made a scene-by-scene breakdown Excel sheet.

 What inspired you the most this year?

The chemistry and dynamics between Michael Burnham and Ash Tyler and all the questionable narrative choices made by the people writing and plotting Discovery season two (and one).

 What are you most proud of? (A creation, something you learned, etc)

Not gonna lie, I am probably most proud of my Object Lessons Excel sheet. It has word counts for scenes and chapters, notes location and a quick summary for every scene, flags if a scene takes place in the main location or somewhere else (so there’s a balance between tight relationship focus and broader world), and indicates “breadcrumbs”, i.e. things related to the two main points of conflict.

Also proud I managed to hit two (out of five) goals I set last year:

Write an episode reaction fic before the next episode airs: A Moment out of Time

Participate in three challenges: actually wrote fic for five challenges/exchanges (time travel challenge, star trek secret santa, poetry challenge, venomtime’s day and femslash exchange)

 Any goals/plans/ideas for next year?

I have a lot of other stuff on my plate this year, so I want fandom to be fun and not set myself concrete goals to fall short off and then feel bad about.

That said, I’ll try and sign up for a few challenges, and if I go into longfic territory again, I’ll try and learn from Object Lessons and start posting only when it’s more polished than a first draft.

Also, should Ash Tyler return to the Star Trek universe this year, all bets are off.

Pick your favourite creations! (Post links and tell us why you love them!)

Object Lessons, my magnum opus, and as of this moment the longest Ashburn fic on AO3.

Your Voice Still Sounds Like Home is a melancholy, bittersweet fic about Ash sending Michael secret messages from Qo’noS and when I read it now, ten months after I wrote it, I can still very much feel the longing.

You’re the Chance I Want to Take (Nyota Uhura/Gaila) because it’s a fun and sweet adventure - and shockingly enough my only femslash fic this year

Everyone who created/posted art, fic, gif-sets, vids, cosplay, etc., consider yourself tagged if you’d like to be. I’m curious! <3

[happyk44]

Okay that last Billy/Jason completely tore me up. Like I'm mad that you did it but it was so good so I'm angry at myself for loving it 😩any way would you mind doing a flirty Jason/Billy one? Run with it however you please. Also I hope you're doing your homework and not procrastinating like a pro like me 😫😭

Bc i have xkit, I save prompts to my drafts so i can continously work on them, except i accidentally posted this one instead of saving it so I legit just moved it into a private posting and speedwrote all of this in the last forty minutes (so it’s incredibly short and ridiculous). REST ASSURED THOUGH, ANON. Someone else requested a flirty cranscott too so a better one should be coming sometime in the next few weeks??

“You want to what?”

Billy gestured loosely with both hands. “Try pick-up lines on you.”

Jason flushed and glanced to the side for a second, trying to wrap his mind around what Billy was asking. “You want to hit on me?”

“Yes.” Billy rubbed his face. “They’re important to romance, I’m sure of it.”

“Billy, they’re really not.”

“I looked it up,” Billy insisted. Before Jason could protest, Billy quickly added, “And I asked Zack. And he has two girlfriends so he must know what he’s talking about.”

Jason rubbed his eyes agitatedly. He was going to slap Zack next time he saw him. “I just don’t think-”

“Please?” Billy squeezed his hands into tight fists at his side.

“Billy-” Jason sighed. “Why do you want to anyway?”

Billy eyed him for a second, quiet. Then, he rocked back on his heels, stopped looking at Jason and said, “There’s a guy. I like. At school.”

“And you think pick up lines will make him date you?”

“I think they’ll help to see if he likes me back,” Billy explained. “But I need to know which ones are better.”

Jason sighed and settled onto the edge of his bed. “Alright, Billy. Woo me.”

Billy burst into a wide grin, hands rapidly clapping together. “Okay, okay. Um, hmm. I wrote a bunch of them down.” Billy fiddled through his pockets, pulling out stray bits of wire and screws until he got to a small but thickly folded piece of paper. It unravelled into a long list. “I’m going to go in order.”

“Okay, Billy,” Jason said, rubbing his face.

If he was lucky, they’d all be too terrible to feel any which way towards.

And if he was luckier still, the guy Billy liked would disappear off the face of the planet before Billy could hit on him.

Billy cleared his throat. “I’m just wanted to let you know that I’m not a hoarder.” He glanced up, eyes meeting Jason’s, soft and warm. “But I really want to keep you forever.”

It was cheesy and ridiculous but the way Billy said it, soft and wanting, had Jason’s insides squirming. When Billy didn’t continue on, Jason rubbed his arms. “Uh, that was- it- mm, that one’s fine, Billy.”

Billy grinned. “Yeah?”

“Yep.” Jason popped the ‘p’ and refused to meet Billy’s happy face. “Definitely should- should use that one.”

“Okay!” Billy glanced back down at his list. “Are you a camera? Because every time I look at your face, I smile.” And he did, grinning wide and happy at Jason’s face. 

Warmth bloomed in his stomach but Jason just snorted. “A little cheesy, Billy.”

Billy nodded. He licked his lips. His hands shook a little and he exhaled. “Um-” He scratched under his ear and looked up at Jason. “I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I’m willing to make an exception for you.”

Jason laughed. Okay, that one was pretty cute. “Smooth, Billy.”

Billy smiled and went on. “I don’t normally let people touch me but angels are a different case.”

There was a patient pause as Jason took that in. He squeezed his hand into a brief fist. “That one’s good too.”

“Probably because it’s true.”

Jason smiled, thinking of all the times Billy let him and no one else touch his arm, his skin, brief or longer lasting.. “Does that mean I’m an angel?”

“The most angelic,” Billy said patiently and Jason’s smile grew a little wider. Billy glanced down at his list again and Jason waited for another cheesy but sweet ringer when Billy, voice shaking, said, “I guess that means I should call God, cause he’s missing his most important one.”

Jason paused. Blinked. Considered what was happening and exhaled slowly.

Billy bit his lip. In his hands his paper was crinkling as he tightened his grip on it. “Not good?”

Jason shook his head and stood up sharply. “No, no. It was good, Billy.” He rubbed his neck. “But, um, a nicer one would be-” And he dropped his hand, running his fingers soft and light over Billy’s face. “-I didn’t know angels could fly so low.”

Billy smiled softly. “You know, Zack bet me twenty dollars that you wouldn’t get the point until the last one.”

“Well, I guess someone owes you twenty dollars then, huh, Billy?”

Billy shrugged. “Not as a bad as owing someone three months worth of kisses.”

Jason laughed. “Can I start putting a dent in that?”

The list fluttered to the floor and Billy stepped closer into Jason’s space. “Yeah, but you should know that you’ve accrued a lot of interest.”

Jason smirked and nuzzled Billy’s cheek, letting his arms draped over Billy’s shoulders and keep him close. “Can’t wait to start paying it off.”

AO3 || Tip the Writer

[figjelly]

what *is* your writing process?

First, it always starts with something half-formed. “What-ifs?,” blurry memory of dreams, people watching, drawing. And then you get to play scientist. If you buy into dichotomies of “science vs art,” then think of a writer being the best of both skill sets.For any skill though, the first step is always, always, always observation. So my process relies on being able to observe the outside world, my internal states, the interactions between these two, and how they shape or change one another. This all seems super abstract, but this is good practice for think about how fictional, non-existent characters might be formed. Second, become familiar with different forms of writing and what type of literary genre is best suited to tell the type of story you want to tell. Some stories aren’t multi-chapter worthy (if they aren’t and you try to force it, it’ll show. Trust me). There are three types of things to know about writing: mechanics of language, story structure, and being a writer.Third, sit that booty down and write. THIS IS THE HARDEST PART. Wanna know why? Because those first two things get put to the test AND you gotta write. You can read a lot of guides on writing but you really won’t know what you don’t know until you do something. You can work with something; you can’t work with nothing. If it stays in your head, it’ll always be this flurry of blurry ideas that never quite come to fruition. Characters on life support. Events in current stasis. A scene that runs through your head constantly like “Call Me Maybe.” But this “paint-by-numbers” method is kind of canned bullshit, the Easy Mac of advice about writing that isn’t really helpful. What all writers need is practical and useful advice that is: actionable, goal-oriented, and produces tangible, deliverables (aka something you can deliver and there is a trail for it). So, you can know the difference between an em dash and an en dash (there’s a difference, pinky swear), but it’s gonna do you shit good if you want to write. It’s super easy to tell people, “Just write!” You wanna know something? I’ve not worked on any ongoing stories I post for free on AO3 (another good rule? Promote the hell out of the stuff you work hard on. Ain’t no shame in having pride in your work). Why?Eh, I guess I could blame it on all sorts of things but, honestly, I’ve not taken the time to open the fucking documents on my many portable computing devices. You want to know “Ash’s Super Official Pragmatic Guide to Writing a Shit Ton Based on Her own Experiences that May NOT produce 100% Quality Results You Wanna Share with the World but Damn if it Won’t Make You Write a LOT.”? Okay, here it is:1. Only hand-write for quick notes, sketching out ideas, and the like. Don’t write by hand and then think you’re gonna transfer it over digitally all nice like. It wastes time, energy, and you’ll spend way too much fucking time agonizing over drafts as they exist on paper. That shit is for quick and dirty work.2. Open a word processor document OR a Google Doc. Honestly, I’ve moved to working almost exclusively on Google Docs because I can share with people more easily for editing. Word of caution: Docs won’t have some functionality like most word processing software but it isn’t the end of the world. Just see what you can live with.2a. Yes. You will get frustrated with learning how to type and use hotkeys and deal with stupid computer issues (like when things start tabbing over for no fucking reason). Don’t let this stop you. If you can understand what’s going on (i.e. it does not affect cogency/intelligibility), figure that shit out later when you’ve got time.3. While we’re on the subject, if you can only muster the energy to do ONE thing for a story, open a new document/start a new doc and NAME THE FUCKER. Once a thing is named, it exists. Congrats! You’ve now begun.4. You know all those tidbits you got floating around? Okay, pick one. You’re gonna bleed that thing dry. DO NOT: focus on character description. DO NOT have 90% dialogue. Not yet, at least. DO NOT focus on scene description. There is a start, there is an end. You know what they are. Make ‘em meet up.5. Eh, they can’t all be 80 Chapter epics. I’ve got a literal ton of digital documents that consist of three pages that are short and sweet--simply based on an idea that couldn’t go anywhere OR that I realized I had no interest in pursuing once I started writing. Once you get that thing finished, save it and then say, “Eh, that’s it for that.”6. Set yourself some goals. I don’t find it’s super helpful to chart my progress in days or hours but rather in pages. For all my AO3 shit, approx. 16 pages per chapter is what I’ve hit. Is it ideal? Nah. But it was my goal when I first started writing. So if I know I’ve got 16 pages to do something, I break it up by big landmarks. For a lot of chapters, I know where it begins and I know what the ending will be. I know things I want to happen (whether it works out is a writing process thing) so I work to put together the dots.7. Things you should always be asking yourself: is this boring me? Are my characters bored? If they were real people and I kept telling them to do these things, would they tell me to fuck off? Like, I don’t know about other people, but I’ve got one character (obvs, it’s Rook) who I’ve been writing and thinking about forever in different incarnations and she is SUPER bossy and opinionated and I FEEL bad, like physically/mentally, if I realize I’ve mistreated her (e.g. made her do something she wouldn’t do). If you’re bored, I’m bored. The end. There ARE times where you’re writing will be less compelling then other parts of your story, but boredom is something quite different. Downtime/quiet moments are not synonymous with tedious, drawn-out, “please shoot me already” writing. A lot of this depends, again, on observation. I know I kinda shit on the “Three Things” thing I made up and outlined at the beginning, but it doesn’t make them any less true. You need to be able to observe yourself. You’ve got habits. Some need to be changed if you wanna write a lot. What you need to write is different than what I need to write. I love using tools like pomodoro, pomodroido, and toggl. There are a lot of tumblr posts that have links to sites where it forces you to write 500 words before it lets you access your browser again (HA, joke is on it because I can just open up Firefox--obvs, site-blocking apps do shit for me because I eventually change browsers or just end up disabling the app) or you write one word at a time and so on. Heck, there’s a whole wiki dedicated to NaNoWriMo with TONS of resources concerning software and the like.BUT, this is all gonna mean shit without some motivation and accountability. Motivation is easy to unpack (you gotta want to do it, whatever your reasons. It might be good to unpack those but that’s a personal thing). Accountability? Well, that’s trickier. You can make yourself accountable (e.g. “I will write three pages a day, single-spaced, 12 pt font every day without revisions.”). But I find having external motivators better. I surround myself with people who write, I have a lovely and wonderful beta, and I also do things like this where I bluntly ask people to make me talk about (AND THINK ABOUT!) what I’m doing. If you’ve got more specific questions, hit me up!(also, @nonsensicaldiary, you asked this).