#and his motivation is sort of personal revenge

[dragonwysper]

Just finished Mouthwashing, after hearing all sorts of snippets of fandom drama about it. I'd stayed away from all that because I didn't have the context, but now I do! So I'm blasting you all with my thoughts.

Long post. Be prepared. Spoilers for Mouthwashing and CW for in-depth discussion of SA below.

So the biggest aspect of the drama side of the fandom that I've been seeing is how the game handled Anya's rape. Some people think it was devastating and properly showed the awfulness of Jimmy, and feel Anya's trauma was portrayed accurately and handled well. Others think Anya was somewhat one-dimensional; she was given a stereotypically female-specific trauma to match the different pain/traumas of the other crew members, and feel the subject wasn't given enough weight and respect.

After having played the game (while also going into it with the knowledge and expectation that it would be about SA), I can see both sides. Though I think my thoughts on everything come from some core details.

Firstly, the core theme of the game is not SA. It's karma. Jimmy is a terrible person who doesn't care about the pain he inflicts on others, as long as he gains something from it. The game follows him as he destroys the people around him, and treats them like fodder to fuel his own goals. We see all of this catch up to him in the end, and he's sortof divinely punished, or overcome with guilt, or whatever it is, because of it. Each person's harm is unique and everybody has their own micro-themes, but the core theme of the game is overwhelmingly karma.

Essentially, this is not a game about SA. This is a game about a terrible person getting what's coming to him.

Secondly, rape as shock content is a common gripe regarding mostly horror movies. It's a quick and easy way to create motivation, so much so that it's turned into its own subgenre of 'rape and revenge' plots. Think I Spit On Your Grave style movies. The other side of the same coin is objectifying the victim, which creates an exploitative feel. The act of the rape itself, and furthermore the shock of it, is more important than the victim and their feelings and trauma. Rape is detached from the lasting harm it causes, and is more something to justify getting up in arms about something/someone rather than a trauma.

And while we do see some of Anya's trauma from SA, Mouthwashing by and large is not meant to be a commentary on SA specifically. Again, it's about how terrible of a person Jimmy is, which makes the SA, at least in part, a tool to make the player hate him.

Ultimately, if Mouthwashing was changed to where Anya faced a different form of harm from Jimmy, instead of SA, it would still be just about the same game. You could still make a convincing game with karma and bad people getting their comeuppance as the core theme. And that I think is the most important realization to have about the subject.

Anya's SA was the first trauma, and the details of the aftermath are what kickstarted the plot, but it was, intentionally or not, a tool to make you hate Jimmy. Because the game isn't about Anya and her trauma. It's about Jimmy and his karma.

I think Mouthwashing is fascinating, and that theme of karma is not something I see done well very often. I think the style of the plot and all the little details that expound upon the micro-themes of the game are extremely well done. And I think it did handle its themes of SA better than a lot of content that discusses it. But it's not perfect, and it falls short of really digging into the true weight of it. It's not a game that makes any real progress on the portrayal of sexual trauma in media. It's cleaner and less graphic than 'rape and revenge' stories, but it ultimately still relies on exploiting the shock of rape to serve a 'bigger' plot.

It's late, I'm tired, and I'm struggling to properly word what I'm feeling, but hopefully my interpretation of nuance comes through.

[writerfae]

Okay so I had priest Aiden AU but what about Keeper Aiden AU? What about Aiden being the eldest keeper’s first?

[twilightkitkat]

I think that when it comes to characterizing Worst Wolverine as opposed to his other variants, the most important thing to remember is that Worst Wolverine is tired.

Almost every version of Wolverine has experienced loss in some way. He's lost lovers, friends, and his memory from before the procedure that nailed adamantium to his bones. But normally, the story depicts him as being angry, lost, and confused. He's still in the stage of grief where he tries to seek answers, make it right, and enact vengeance. The grief is fresh, like an open wound that keeps being scratched open even when it tries to scab over.

Normally, Wolverine is still somewhat in shock, or the intense wave of emotions that follow. His story is about his immediate reaction to grief and his action to combat it. He follows his impulses—he gnashes and snarls and claws until he murders whichever villain took what mattered from him. And only then does he start to grieve. But the story cuts off just right as he begins to sort through the emotions, not when he's in the midst of it.

Worst Wolverine has already been angry. He's been lost. He's been confused. He lashed out against the world in a fit of impulsivity that cost the X-men their reputation. He already sought revenge against a world that murdered his family and he had to live with the aftermath. For over a decade.

His story didn't end when he avenged his family, nor did it begin again when a new distracting plotline started. No. He had to sit quietly with his grief. Learn to live with it.

He wasn't just a character built on intense, conflicting emotions, because he had to keep surviving even after they died out. He didn't just have to live through his immediate reaction to grief, but live through the solitude of waking up every uneventful day with nothing to live for.

Worst Wolverine is tired. Unlike his other versions, he didn't have anything left that tethered him to reality. He had to come to terms with the fact that he lost everyone before he even let them know how much he cared. He had to confront his own feigned indifference, his gruffness, and all of his flaws while knowing he could never go back and fix it. He had to live with his own spiraling mind, thinking over the what-ifs and the could-have-beens and the if-onlys.

And he eventually reached a state of complete apathy. Where his only solace was drinking enough to drown out the voices in his head, to blur the images seared into the backs of his eyelids. (But even that didn't help. Not really. Not when everyone looked at him with scorn and reminded him of what he'd done. What he'd lost. What he'd ruined.)

It was in this state of exhaustion that Wade found him. Not the first person to approach him (to hook up, to sneer at him, but always with an ulterior motive) but the first to want something more. And when Wade pointed his gun at him, he laughed. Death was just a daydream to him. Something he wanted but could never truly attain. (A mercy he didn't deserve.)

But he went with him. And eventually helped him save the world. The one "good" thing he feels like he's ever done. The one thing he didn't fuck up.

And Logan is still exhausted. It's in his bones. It's in the wrinkles around his eyes. It's in his posture. But Wade helped him push past that for the hope of something greater. His entire arc in the movie was working past the fact that he's exhausted and grieving to finally let someone reach him. Move him.

And it didn't go away completely. Not with how he resigned himself to a life of isolation even in a new universe with a fresh start. But Wade called out to him. Pulled him back. Looked at an exhausted old dog that couldn't learn new tricks and still wanted to take him home.

Logan is exhausted. But now he can curl up next to Wade on the couch with the warmth and weight of someone next to him and finally sleep without waking up to another nightmare.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Okay, so, there's one thing that I'm kind of tired of beating around the bush with white fans about, and it's this: if you pretend to "ignore" race in OFMD, you will miss a lot of what the story is trying to tell you.

Now, I do not truly believe that race is something you can ignore in a story. I just don't think it's possible, and when you try, what you wind up with is something like the conservative worldview of "not seeing color." Trying to ignore race will make you sound racist and ignore important racialized themes.

You can't understand Stede's need for character growth at the beginning of the show if you just focus on how he's "cringe" instead. When Stede makes his crew members of color serve them at dinner when the English board, this is gross, and their faces tell us exactly how they feel about it. Stede unlearning his biases here isn't subtle (guy who called him and Pete "fucking racists" I love you forever), and learning to take all of his crew members seriously as fully actualized people, moving away from the sort of Kindergarten-teacher behavior at the start to truly valuing them as people and taking their input and suggestions, it's an important aspect. Stede asking Abshir for intel at the party isn't just funny, it's also proof he's learned to see value in people in positions like Abshir's.

You can't understand the motivations behind Ed's actions, especially the violent ones, if you ignore the racist overtones. Ed is not a randomly violent person - he gets angry at a captain for calling him a "rich donkey," and if you think it's unreasonable for a brown man to want to get revenge on a white man for calling him that? Then fuck I'm glad you can't see the conversations I have with my other black friends, man. Ed's anger and frustration at the party aren't just because he fucked up with some spoons, lol, you can't get it unless you realize he's the only brown guest in that room. Yeah, he's ignoring Stede's advice, but he's immediately under a pressure Stede never has been. Ed's wanted posters in s2, too, rely on heavily caricaturizing Jewish features to make him look grotesque and monstruous. We're supposed to be horrified by that aspect.

And, yeah, when we ignore the racist tones to Izzy's behavior, I think that's undermining an important aspect of who he is as an antagonistic character. Him buying Ed from the English should feel like a gross violation, because it is. When he sits in front of the crew eating and making Fang and Ivan serve him, I think it's a pretty obvious parallel to how the crew members of color were similarly insulted in the pilot. It's impossible to ignore race in the way he dehumanizes Ed and tries to force him back into a caricature of behavior he hates and is horrified by - when he calls Ed a "wild dog" in s2, if that doesn't cause a visceral reaction of disgust in you, I dunno what to tell you. This doesn't mean that Izzy is irredeemable - just as Stede wasn't - but it does mean that racist biases are things Izzy had to unlearn.

OFMD so often takes so much care with how its characters of color are depicted. We get thoughtful, relatable moments (those French boat people getting humiliated and setting their boat on fire after they'd tried to touch Ed's beard is so satisfying, guys) and excellent, supportive friendships between men of color. The characters of color on OFMD are clean, smart, respected, and it's wonderful. And just because these things aren't always relatable to you specifically doesn't mean they're not important parts of the story.

[velvetures]

could i request a ghost x “strawberry/cutecore/hello kitty” reader?! basically just everything is pink and they are super bubbly :>

pls and ty 🙏🏻

Simon "Ghost" Riley & Cutecore/Hyperfeminine Aesthetic

a/n: I loved this request... but it was my first attempt at the aesthetic/vibe as a whole and I'm not sure if I hit the mark. I used this pic as my inspo. ):( Summary: What it's like for Ghost to have an "everything in pink, please." gf, and what kind of feelings go along with it. TW's: suggestive content 18+ ONLY, established relationship, possessiveness?, def not proofread (the usual), fem!reader.

Of all the women that Simon ever entertained the thought of being, one like you didn���t initially even present itself as a remotely interesting option. The idea of someone such much different from himself sounded like nothing less than a good way of fucking up someone else’s -otherwise- normal life by inserting himself into it. You just always seemed so damn happy and excited about even the smallest of things; Practically amplifying the good feelings floating around in the air and blasting them right back at him. Never without something pink on and dressed up like you were minutes away from attending some kind of fairy party literally scared Ghost away from having anything to do with you.

You on the other hand, weren’t exactly sure what it was that made Ghost so averse to speaking to you more than a few words at a time. Yet made it your very private little mission of sorts to snoop and poke around until you found some kind of answer as to why such a massive and expertly lethal man couldn’t bear to stand within arms reach of you. He just intrigued you for some reason or another. Only getting glimpses of the man’s real self in his eyes -the only visible part of him- and having to make your next moves based off of nothing more than gut-feelings and the hope that you were reading his signals correctly.

At first, it crossed your mind that your preferred aesthetic of sorts could be a bit of the problem. For most people it might appear a bit too much, and when looking at Ghost dressed almost head to to in black with a skull painted on his masked face… there was good reason to assume it in the first place. What you didn’t know was that it was so much deeper than your affinity for lace-trimmed socks, Mary Jane’s, pearls, and practically anything hyper-feminine and in a shade of pink. Ghost didn’t believe you were weak or predisposed to acting childish. You held a massively significant job in journalism and worked harder than most people he knew at what you did. You just happened to enjoy everything around you looking like some damn cotton-candy tea party.

What bothered him was your sweet personality and an intrinsic value he held for just how fucking innocent you were towards him and everyone else around you. People could be utterly horrible right to your face, and you’d silently keep the hurt to yourself and never fight back against what they’d done. Revenge wasn’t something you cared for, while it was essential to Ghost’s motivation in his work and private life. For a long time he couldn’t balance his morals of being involved with you at all with the thoughts in the back of his mind about how much he might twist and form you into something unrecognizable. Something a lot less… pink. A person that didn’t enjoy such small little things like how a skirt had small pink flowers embroidered on it, or if the little bows you’d stick in your hair had a lace fringe on the edges.

Oh but how things changed when Ghost finally couldn’t stand looking at you without thinking about how nice it would be to have his arm wrapped around you, pulling you tight up against him to keep everyone from staring. The Lieutenant always had a weak spot for you and your sugar-sweet personality and looks. But goddamn did he start loving the color pink more than a professional murderer should. All the hues and tones of that fucking color began reminding him of you no matter where he was, or what he was doing. For the longest time, he’d been worried that he would be the one that changed you, all the while he was too deep inside his own mind to recognize that you were the one controlling the direction things were headed.

Just looking at you made him shudder with feelings of possessiveness and adoration. Standing there happy as could be with thigh-high white socks and a fluffy pink skirt, all dressed up just to go out to eat at a little late-night pub because he couldn’t stand the idea of having to show his face in the bright daylight. You knew to a certain extent that Ghost appreciated the way you lived your life just a bit more feminine than average… but the depths of his thoughts and ideas about you were surface level to say the least. He just knew what you looked like clinging to his arm walking down the street; His polar opposite and yet so happy to be close to him. A darling smile… pretty and glossed lips… frilly things on almost every piece of clothing you wore and just utterly adorable to him.

Knowing that gave him… fantasies.

Wanting to see all of the things he could buy for you to wear for him. Dress you up almost like his own little doll and get to show you off to anyone who’d look, only to have the pleasure of threatening them to do more than take one good glance. So delectable, squeezable; but for him and him alone. You were the princess Simon didn’t realize he wanted and unlocked this strange and insatiable urge to spoil the fuck out of you with every pretty pink or glittery thing you could wish for, just so he could take you home and watch you try it all on for him while sipping a bourbon on the couch.

Fuck… There wasn’t a better way to spend an evening. Well, almost.

Perfect didn’t count unless he got to see you under him, laying back on pink silk sheets you’d been adamant about buying for his house, watching your eyes roll back with every moment he made. Damn if he couldn’t make it more than fifteen minutes without needing to calm himself down, before needing to put you on your hands and knees so those pretty little fucking faces you made wouldn’t make him finish before he got started. If he was lucky he could leave hot and pink handprints on your ass for making him feel so good. Simon knew you weren’t sheltered. But to him you were still innocent. Kind in so many ways he didn’t comprehend or believe was humanly possible. For fuck’s sake, you allowed him to come into your life.

Him with his scarred hands, bullet holes, shitty disposition. A man who preferred destruction and death for it’s permanence and certainty. Simon, with his need to hide his own face and go by a name that lacked humanity. All of him starkly contrasted you in so many ways it made him spin with confusion and oftentimes guilt. Questioning why he’d been so weak as to touch you in the first place. Allow himself the chance at someone so full of life who could see the world -literally- through rose-colored lenses.

Yet you brought forth happiness and fulfillment that the soldier hadn’t found in his years of searching desperately for a purpose. He found someone he could visually see, and palpably touch who hadn’t been torn down or beaten into submission in one way or another. Sweet and innocent you had found such a simple yet powerful way of living life the way you wanted to. Ghost felt like he could protect you. Not only in the genuine aspect of loving you so much that he got physically ill at the thought of losing you to anything; but also because you were so full of life and love to give to everyone around you. He needed you. Selfishly. Then again, there needed to be more softness and genuine innocence and happiness too. And so long as he was alive and breathing, he’d always make sure you were safe.

Reblogs & Comments are Appreciated <3

[picaroroboto]

For the past couple days, I've been unfortunately cursed with thinking about Zenos yae Galvus. I don't even particularly like him - not that I dislike him either, Zenosfuckers you can put your scythes down - but it seems to me like a lot of the fandom either greatly misunderstands him, or doesn't even care to try to understand him, which from an objective standpoint as someone who cares deeply about writing in video games kind of pisses me off. But I'm more pissed about the fact that I'm apparently going to keep thinking about this issue until I actually write a character analysis of him.

Q: "But, what even is there to analyze with him? Isn't he all about wanting to fight the WoL and nothing else?"

Well, you wouldn't be wrong with saying that. That motivation is at the forefront of his character, and even if you look closer, everything about him comes back to either "violence" or "lack of understanding of others". But there are more meaningful sides to his deceptively simple character. That question of meaning is what I really want to look into - what does his character mean, what symbolic or thematic role does he play in this story?

Q: "Better question: why are you posting this on your art blog/Fate meta sideblog?"

Good question, with a stupid answer: I have all of 6 followers on my FF14 sideblog, and around 150 here. Let's go under the cut so they don't have to read a wall of text, unless they want to.

When you look at and compare FF14's villains, you can see a very clear change, no doubts thanks to the change in main writers. ARR Gaius and Thordan are more or less two-bit villains - Gaius's memeable iconic Praetorium speech gives us insight into how fascists try to justify themselves but little into Gaius's actual personality, while all Thordan gets as far as depth of character is an NPC in a sidequest remarking that he wasn't always a bad person and was probably doing what he thought best for his nation. Nidhogg is a little more understandable, since revenge is a relatable motivation to anyone who's been hurt by others. In Stormblood, Zenos and Yotsuyu are both presented as deserving of pity even as they do terrible things. Come Shadowbringers and Endwalker though, the story takes a greater interest on why villains like Emet-Selch and Elidibus do the things they do, and the player is allowed more options to try to understand them and see how similar they are to the WoL. Hell, Hermes and the Endsinger are barely "villains" at all, with the level of sympathy the story shows them.

What I'm getting to here is that Zenos, with half his arc in Stormblood and the rest in Endwalker, is sort of caught in the middle of this shift. He played the role of the rival character in Stormblood really well, but come Endwalker, he's standing on a stage full of heroes and villains with grand causes and deep motivations, as the guy whose sole motivation is fighting for pleasure.

It seems he's not unaware of this contrast himself - when Jullus confronts him for ruining Garlemald for no good reason, he retorts with "Would you be happier had I a good reason?" Zenos makes no attempt to justify his own actions and doesn't care that his reason seems incomprehensible and unforgivable to others. Yet in that same cutscene Alisaie hits him with the fact that if he keeps living solely for pleasure, he'll die alone. When next we see Zenos, he's alone at the Royal Menagerie waxing philosophical about what he really sought in the battle with the WoL.

See, what really motivates Zenos isn't just the thrill of battle - this guy has gotten Battle High and the joy of human connection confused. Really.

Even before he gets so perturbed by the idea of dying alone, there's other suggestions, like his proposal of friendship to the WoL when they fought in Stormblood, and then later his dying words in which he explains that he never understood others - at his core, he's just lonely. I know there's an official side story that tells it, but you don't need to know the exact details to glean that he had some sort of tragic backstory. Sad, but not a surprise, considering he's the prince of the Garlean Empire, raised to take the throne and continue the Empire's legacy of violence.

At his core, he's a very lonely person, but also a thing of violence, raised using violent methods for the purpose of causing more violence. Violence is how he lives and breathes - the only way he gets any sort of connection with others in a world of hurting and being hurt is the brief connection warriors dueling as equals can sometimes find. Don't deny that this sort of connection exists - FF14 is great at making fights that are both fun and tell a story. Hence, why he goes crazy for the WoL, but also refers to them as "friend". In their fights, he senses (or thinks he senses) similarity between him and them. Beneath all the madness is a pure, genuine joy in seeing the self reflected in the other...but he also instantly gets on the train to projection-town, population Zenos, and assumes the WoL is exactly like him, ignoring or failing to notice that they also fight for deeper meanings. The worst part is, he doesn't even notice that what he's actually seeking in fighting them is connection until Alisaie's aforementioned callout.

So he goes and angsts for a while, then turns into a dragon again and flies across the universe to help us kick the Endsinger's tail feathers, then issues his challenge for that duel he'd been longing for. But what's changed is that he starts with a question - "Such pleasures you sought for their own sake, and for no other reason, is that not so?". Dying after the duel, he's full of questions too: "Was your life a gift or a burden? Did you find fulfillment?" Alisaie's suggestion that he'd die alone actually spurred him to realize what he actually sought in the WoL, and now he's asking all these questions in an attempt to, for the first time in his life, genuinely connect with another human being.

The questions aren't important just because they're a sign of how Zenos has changed in Endwalker - they're actually the thematic heart of Endwalker! ARR may have had "Answers" as it's theme, but EW is the expac of questions. Namely the biggest question of all: What is the meaning of life? Different characters have different answers to that, leading to the grand-scale symbolic conflict being the Endsinger's despair - her belief that there is no meaning in life - versus whatever reasons the WoL chooses to live for, left, as always, up to player interpretation.

When you look deeper, Zenos isn't actually as out-of-place in the symbolic conflict as he first seems. His depressed worldview - that metaphor about drowning in a swamp again - seems to align with the Endsinger's view about life being meaningless. But he aids the WoL in defeating her. In that way he serves as part of the answer to her question about the meaning of life. He may have resented life at times, but he still found meaning in chasing pleasure. Not the strongest or most beautiful reason to deny oblivion, perhaps, but it did enable him to help the WoL triumph. I think of Zenos's philosophy as being connected to the concept of "Amor Fati"...largely because this quote explaining it sounds like something he'd say, or at least agree with on some level:

"and if our soul has trembled with happiness and sounded like a harp string just once, all eternity was needed to produce this one event—and in this single moment of affirmation all eternity was called good, redeemed, justified, and affirmed."

So he does have a meaningful role in Endwalker, as the "Amor Fati" against the Endsinger's "Memento Mori". I think that in this the story shows that his reason for living, while somewhat shallow, is not necessarily a morally wrong thing in and of itself (setting aside for a second all the people he hurt in his pursuit of that). It's just that, since it is a lonely pursuit that denies everything except for his target, it still feels empty. The core of the counterargument against the Endsinger's despair is that both pleasure and fulfillment are necessary to live a meaningful life in a meaningless universe, and that's why Zenos is here in Endwalker. Why he even exists in the story in the first place.

Even if you're one of the people who deeply hates Zenos...well, you probably wouldn't have read this whole thing if you did, but I still think it's important to read into characters you dislike, because every character in a story is written for a reason. Plus, trying to understand even their worst enemies is one of the WoL's key traits as of ShB and EW. With his last breaths, Zenos was trying to understand the WoL too - carrying this understanding of him with you as we move into our next adventures is the least you can do for your "friend".

[lennjamin-o7]

Thought it was time to return the curse upon you for once... (also inspired vaguely by the DMs from earlier so hehe)

AU where Techno is a superhero.

Not just any superhero, really. One of the best. He manages to keep the city crime free almost singlehandedly and does so without breaking a sweat. Though he does work together with another hero named Phil and the two are thick as thieves.

It's hotly debated among fangroups of civilians why Techno joined the hero ranks. Since he doesn't exactly make it subtle that he's an introvert, fame is off the list. Techno is kind of brash and awkward too, he doesn't strike people as the sort of guy who does it for something as vague as 'helping people' - he also might get a bit too excited about new villains for that to ring true. There are rumors that his family was killed by a villain and this is Techno getting revenge, but this rumor is never verified. Maybe money? Money is a pretty good motivator.

The truth is that Techno is incredibly bored.

Techno peaked in high school and is so incredibly gifted kid coded. (/hj)

And hero work is a great adrenaline kick, a thrilling situation to throw himself into. Especially villains who come up with wild schemes. Maybe, just maybe, it's even bordering on depression. He has to keep busy with hero work or he literally can't bother to get out of bed or motivate himself for much of anything.

Things have been better since Phil came along. Phil is, in a twist on the usual dynamic, the less experienced one when it comes to hero work (despite being so much older lol, Phil was a civilian hiding his powers before). So he's teamed with Techno to learn the ropes, and the two hit it off, and the team-up becomes permanent. Phil is the first and only person Techno considers a friend. And after befriending Phil, Techno gradually gets a few hobbies (he's cultivating a potato plant in the hero association dorm, he's reading books Phil recommends to him, he's playing chess with Phil on slow afternoons).

But Phil would still like for Techno to have more of an identity outside of his hero work. Techno brushes him off. It's almost a running joke at this point.

(Technoblade is not his real name. It's his hero name. Techno has no civilian identity, never bothered to maintain one. This is concerning to Phil).

Whenever Phil thinks he's made some progress, a new villain will pop up or something will happen and ALL of Techno's attention will go to that again. And then after it's over he'll be bummed out because Techno usually beats the villain very easily and it doesn't pose a challenge for not. What Techno truly needs is an archnemesis.

Good thing that one day, a new supervillain pops up in town.

He's cruel, and he's smart, and he's ruthless. And he's very, very strong. Strong enough to almost beat Techno into the ground one-handed during their first confrontation, though Techno manages to win just barely. It's as if this new villain knows all his moves, his weaknesses. It's exhilarating.

The new villain calls himself The Crowfather.

(Fangroups don't really debate on why Phil joined hero work. But if they did some digging, they might find out that Phil once almost died, and the only thing that kept him from dying was a hero saving him. Technoblade.

They might find out that Phil became a hero not because he cares about the status, or saving people. He just wanted to get closer to Techno. To repay him, somehow, any way he can.

Even if it means murdering a bunch of innocent people.)

Hey, Techno is smiling a lot more now that he has The Crowfather to go up against. And isn't that all that matters :)

[this was so rambly, i'm not very good at this and u can tell lol]

I've think I've kept this hostage long enough Shara Friend. It has been kept for my eyes alone long enough. Now, I freely share it.

Fuck yeah bored Super Hero Technoblade! You popped off with this. I love Sneaky Philza standing by his side and, if it makes him happy, standing against him as well. Who cares about the ants he has to squish to see Technoblade HAPPY. An easy and small price to pay for the guy who saved him.

Gosh, I love this. The DRAMA that would ensue when everything is found out. How will that go? Will Technoblade be appalled? Disgusted? Angry?

Or maybe, just a tiny bit curious about how interesting it would be to be a Villain.

Love it. Love it so much. I want to CORRUPT this version of Technoblade so so SOOO much!!!!

[pixiecaps]

something that really fascinates me about roier and bobbys relationship is that while roier did truly love bobby the initial foundations of their relationship was very. two faced. roiers kindness and gentleness towards bobby came from a place of burning hatred towards spreen. he had a master plan in mind to use his son to get revenge on his enemies. he wanted bobby to be strong and a warrior not because he wanted his son to be protected from the dangers of the world but because he wanted bobby to kill spreen. he wanted bobby to be the one to end him. particularly theres a moment where he goes to grab a bow in his storage room and direct states this is all part of his master plan. teaching bobby how to properly use a bow so he can murder his enemies for him soon. again this isnt to discredit bobby and roiers relationship because it did progress and develop into an earnest love and caring dynamic but the begins of their interactions were heavily influenced by roier wanting to seek revenge. everything he did was with an ulterior motive. the mindset of act like a loving father, smile, give the kid everything he wants, and then once you’ve gained that affection and undying loyalty use him like a sword. theres something to be said about this deceitfulness brewing inside of roier after being betrayed himself because his revenge on spreen wasnt as simple as a desire to kill him. he wanted to BACKSTAB him. he wanted to return everything he felt with the betrayal back towards spreen. he wanted spreen to trust and be his friend so that he could ruin him. a methodical approach to vengeance that came with roier using bobby and shaping him into the person he needed him to be for his plan to succeed.

a lot of people perceive what jaiden roier and bobby had as the perfect family and in a way they were because roier wanted them to be. (and of course it helped that jaiden was an amazing mom) roier wanted bobby to grow up happy and comfortable and with all the confidence a kid could ever have because otherwise he’d be useless in his plan. so in turn you have this sort of picturesque life bobby lived but a lot of the beginning was with a darker intent. again roier did love bobby and its evident by his hurt when bobby died. roier truly had grown a genuine attachment to bobby. there’s no doubt about that. but theres a lot of aspects regarding the betrayal that bleed into qroiers character and his actions soon after it occured and its important to note that he’s not a saint. he’s smart about the way he goes about things and his unshakeable anger can be a dangerous force of willpower that makes him capable of using anyone to get what he wants.

[whetstonefires]

So like, I'm pretty darn sure Mo Xuanyu did not actually make a pass at Jin Guangyao.

For several reasons, like for one thing hitting on your own actual brother who is also your boss is genuinely insane behavior, in a way nothing else we know about the guy actually matches, other than his reputation for being crazy which mostly seems to originate from the same point as the sexual harassment allegations. which tracks because even with rampant societal homophobia, that's such a crazy thing to do people would question it if it didn't come paired with the information that he's insane.

Then there's the fact that if that had actually happened, there's basically no way master spin artist jgy would have let it get out, because actually experiencing that would trigger his sense-of-uncleanliness issues so hard.

But what we see is that somehow Everyone Knows that it happened, but also that Jin Guangyao totally didn't tell anyone, because he's too merciful and kind and respectable. It just mysteriously leaked somehow that this private scandal happened.

(Also, to step up a meta level, the gay goth kid who was never quite accepted into his own family and wound up self-destructing was in fact guilty of the homophobic allegations spread by the powerful man who manipulates reputation for personal advantage? This is not the kind of story where that would be true. The thematic dissonance is too much.)

The only way it's believable that mxy made a move on jgy is if jgy spent a long time maneuvering him into it, hinting and deniably flirting and just generally being maximum skeeze, just a huge elaborate incestuous honeypot, just to bait a 'ruined reputation' trap. Which makes no sense at all.

I don't think jgy is necessarily above that kind of creepy grooming behavior but I do think he would hate it, and definitely wouldn't resort to it when sowing rumors would work just as well. and expose him to less risk.

So Mo Xuanyu didn't do it.

So what we've got is that Jin Guangyao systematically obliterated this kid's credibility.

No one would listen to anything he said after being expelled in that sort of context, especially anything against Jin Guangyao, whom he now has obvious motive to smear. This was a preemptive strike against some kind of leak.

It's exactly the kind of thing jgy would do--it targets individual vulnerability, leverages the weak points in Mo Xuanyu's reputation into gaping chasms, in a way that associates jgy with scandal but makes him personally look better. also shows signs of jgy projecting his own issues onto others. The MO fits.

And his motive is easy to construct: Mo Xuanyu had had access to his secrets, such as Wei Wuxian's manuscripts and probably a lot of the other ugly shit. And Jin Guangyao needed him silenced, due to some thing or other, but as with SiSi didn't want to have to kill him.

(A fascinating thing about jgy as a villain is the moments where he yields to sentiment pretty consistently contribute to his destruction.)

But then we come around to: so why didn't Mo Xuanyu sic Wei Wuxian on Jin Guangyao, then?

In cql wwx does have a curse cut for jgy, to keep him in the plot and create an additional open storyline to resolve, since viewers are gonna be denied romantic catharsis, but in cql the homophobia plotline isn't there because all the gay is censored, and mxy allegedly hit on qin su instead. which is less utterly unhinged to do though still big wtf.

In the book, mxy summoned the Yiling Patriarch just to kill the Mos. (Which he didn't even do lmao.)

So I've always been sort of poking at that, like if you're destroying your own soul to get revenge, why spare the person who deliberately ruined your life?

Even if he had done the thing, it was weird! Maybe even weirder; if you're in a headspace where making sexual advances anyone should be able to predict are unwelcome seems like a good idea in the first place, there's a pretty good chance getting punished for them isn't going to make you think you were in the wrong. Otoh there is a zone where he could have done it, gotten the backlash, cleared his head a bit, realized it was fucked up to do, and therefore not held a grudge in that particular direction, but it's still weird. (And also he definitely didn't do the thing.)

But if he was so angry, why was he not angry at Jin Guangyao? Who definitely kicked him out of the Sect, all else aside?

And then I looked at the passage in Jin sect where we swap to Jin Ling's pov and he tells us one of the few first-hand things we hear about Mo Xuanyu: He thought Jin Guangyao was the most amazing person in the whole world. He adored him.

And being betrayed and rejected by him didn't turn that into resentment. Even though he resented the other side of his family enough to want them gratuitously murdered.

So you know what I think happened?

I think Mo Xuanyu thinks it was an honest misunderstanding. That Jin Guangyao, his idol, falsely concluded that his gay little brother was creeping on him based on a misinterpretation of his admiring behavior, and was appropriately revolted. And that Mo Xuanyu doesn't blame him for it. He blames himself.

He went back to his mother's family to rot genuinely feeling like the ruination of his life was his own fault for being creepy. And died like that.

Because of that, to a considerable extent. How can you bend any of your will to saving yourself, to getting out of an abusive situation and seeking a better one, when you don't think you deserve to be saved?

Fucks me up.

[tobiasdrake]

My favourite thing about the Dragon Balls making death less permanent is that, in spite of taking away some impact, it gives us one of the best parts of the show.

Vegeta.

Narratively, he should have died on Namek. He has stalled for long enough, he is able to see the Legend come true (in his eyes), he knows Frieza will die, his ideology and strength have been surpassed by Goku and he no longer has much to offer.

And that's why bringing him back after his death is insane, because Vegeta has had his big sacrifice play and seen his past concluded... and yet he has to keep living. He's quick to jump to anger at Kakarot, but for a while there he is surely lost on what to do.

Frieza is dead. Nappa and Raditz are dead. The Super Saiyan has been born, his people have been avenged, he doesn't even have a need for a wish anymore.

What does he have left? Both as a character and a person, all he can offer now is rage. And so, that exactly what he does, because for a time its all he can do.

What he has left is himself, which has always been his motivating factor. He never really cared much about avenging his people, about Nappa and Raditz, or about the Super Saiyan. For Vegeta, it's always been about glorifying Vegeta.

We first started to get a glimpse of the kind of man Vegeta is when he and Nappa briefly discuss Raditz's death. Nappa wants to resurrect Raditz using the Dragon Balls but Vegeta thinks Raditz can go fuck himself.

Shortly after, they have a brief discussion about Gohan. Gohan's existence intrigues Nappa. He wants to start some sort of twisted Saiyan eugenics program to repopulate their race with Saiyans who are stronger than ever before.

Vegeta sees hybrid Saiyans as a threat to his personal glory, however, and wants to kill all humans instead.

Vegeta would rather the Saiyans go extinct than allow new Saiyans to come into existence that are stronger than him. This sets the stage for his relationship to his people's genocide.

Which he actively contributes to.

Going a step beyond refusing to revive Raditz 'cause "Fuck 'im", Vegeta kills Nappa himself.

Goku breaks Nappa's back so he can't fight anymore, which causes his existence to lose all value in Vegeta's eyes. So Vegeta personally disposes of the last remaining Saiyan besides him and the two Earthlings.

If Saiyans cannot advance Vegeta's ambitions, then what good are they?

From there, Vegeta goes to Namek and learns of the Saiyan genocide. His reaction is about what you'd expect from him up to this point.

He has no interest in revenge against Frieza for the Saiyans. He just wants to be out from under Frieza's bootheel. Vegeta's greatest ambition is to be the strongest in the universe.

Also, fun fact: He's heard of the Super Saiyan but never put any stock in this Saiyan gobbledygook. He only starts to consider the possibility once he sees Goku in his incomplete proto-Super Saiyan state.

"The Super Saiyan is fake but if it does exist THEN IT SHOULD BE ME."

Literally the first time he ever expresses any sentiment towards his fellow Saiyans is when he is actively in the process of joining them in death.

That Vegeta is dying and no longer has a future to think of seems to have done a number on his personality. This is the first time he ever even hints at caring for someone other than himself.

The thing about Vegeta is that he was very young when his planet was destroyed. In a sense, Vegeta and Goku are mirrors of one another. Neither of them are culturally Saiyans. Neither ever truly knew Planet Vegeta and its people.

They're a post-genocide diaspora, raised in other cultures by other people. Goku grew up to be culturally Earthling. And Vegeta... is culturally Frieza. He was raised in the grips of coldhearted capitalism, self-glorification, and the devaluing of people, places, and things into disposable commodities for market, and he internalized all of it.

The reason Vegeta is so different from Nappa and Raditz, so much crueler and more self-interested, is because - like Goku - Vegeta has never truly connected with his Saiyan heritage. How could he? His culture was annihilated.

Capable of reflexively dismissing his people's genocide with "LOL Fuck 'em" in the moment but then, with the honest vulnerability of impending death, admit "No, that sucks actually."

Vegeta spends the back half of the Namek arc forced into an uneasy alliance that's tearing him in half over who he is.

"You dumbass, if you had time to save me then you had time to let me die and sucker punch the enemy!" Vegeta barks at Gohan.

Meanwhile, Vegeta.

And that's after Gohan and Krillin betrayed him, too. Exposure to the Earthlings and their different ideas is getting to him. The way Gohan and Krillin treat him and each other is... it's not so much healing as deprogramming some of the things he learned from Frieza.

He's being exposed to a way of life that's different from the one he's always known, and it's affecting the way his mind interprets things like teamwork or the death of his people. The way he thinks and expresses himself.

People are complicated and much of who we are is a product of environmental factors. Change Vegeta's circumstances and you change Vegeta.

So in his final moments, killed by the same person that killed the rest of his kind, he allows himself to feel the grief that he'd previously written off as "LOL Sucks to be them!"

Pretty much the entire rest of his arc is the steady deprogramming of Vegeta, once he's stranded on Earth with no way back into space, disconnected from the toxic ideology that raised him. Having to first figure out how to take his value system he learned from Frieza and apply it to his new circumstances.

But, over time, becoming more and more of an Earthling in his own right. Learning that it's okay, actually, to care about other people. To be emotionally invested in someone besides himself.

That it's okay to live a domestic life on a planet somewhere and be part of a culture, rather than simply defining himself as a conqueror.

That it's okay to not be the strongest in the universe. That he is not a failure if he finds a mountain he cannot climb.

Even finding religion. He uses his final moments before his second death to turn to (ex-)God and ask the fate of his immortal soul.

Vegeta is a diasporic member of a dead race raised in the image of the people that destroyed his home, killed his people, and robbed him of his culture. Slowly unlearning the belief systems of colonization, consumption, and capitalist individualism that defined so much of his life, and instead discovering the beauty of people and life.

[alewritesfics]

Love me again, please

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!reader

Word count: 5.6k

Summary: After a few years, you cross paths with the last person you ever wanted to

Warning: I do not know where I was going with this story at the end so I apologize if it is a little over the place but you all get the gist.

A/n: I'm also posting after months of posting nothing. Very sorry about that but well, I lost the motivation to write, with that being said, Serendipity is on hold for the moment. I have the story planned out but I have no idea what else to write so the main scenes may connect in the end. So I'll be taking my time writing that. Also, I have no posting schedule because I know I won't follow through with it so I'll be posting when motivation hits and I have a fic finished. Lots of love to everyone who takes the time to read this xx.

Forgiveness.

An action that is difficult for human beings to execute. We live in a world that in which resentment , anger and revenge win over anything else. We let ourselves be carried away by the teeth of hatred, that we never take into account that action.

Forgiveness brings us peace and it brings happiness because not only are you forgiving the other person, you are forgiving yourself. Forgiveness is the biggest act of love in this world, and we just have made it complicated.

Although as much as you preach for people to forgive, you yourself, haven’t got it in you to forgive that one person that wronged you so many years ago.

Oh, how you hated him.

The one person that made you fall in love with him, that made you question your morals and break your dignity, allowing yourself to be used as if you were a prostitute from one of the brothels downtown.

He promised you his love, whispered sweet noothings in your ear as he made love to you late in the evenings, when everyone was asleep, telling you to give him more time so he could sort out a few things before making you his wife.

Oh, how you hated him.

Like a fool, you believed everything he promised you, hope blooming inside you at his words, that was all you wished for, to become his wife. But for the meantime, you were happy being his mistress.

If the only way to be with him until he sorted everything out was by being his mistress, hiding in the shadows, where no one was watching, you would take it, you would give yourself to him.

Oh, how you hated him.

That is, until one day, he left you without any word.

He came to your room one evening, you were patiently waiting for him, readying yourself for what you thought would be another night of pleasure.

That is until he arrived and broke your heart.

Told you how he could not be with you anymore and that he would not be coming to your room anymore. When you kept on pleading with him not to leave you, that is when he changed to saying cruel, cruel things.

Like how did you ever believe he would actually marry you, and that he was only with you for the pleasure filled nights you provided, that you were just an easy prey, foolishly believing everything he said. Those words succeeding even further on breaking your heart.

Oh, how you hate – loathe him.

Oh, how you loathed him

Oh, how you really really loathed him

Oh………

how you wished you actually loathed or even hated him.

Because that is the truth, no matter how much he hurt you, no matter how the words he carelessly threw at you engraved themselves deeply inside you, how he completely broke you, even then, you still could not find it in yourself to hate him.

“Your grace?” you snapped out of your thoughts, turning your head to the side, looking at the footman questioningly “We are here, your grace”

You thanked him quietly before looking down at the toddler sleeping on your chest, brushing the hair that was covering her face away, caressing her chubby cheeks.

“Love,” you murmured stroking her head lovingly. Little Amelia moved, shaking her head before burying herself further into your chest “It is time to wake up, darling. Were you not excited to see grandmamma and grandpapa? What about your cousins, Charles and Elizabeth? You were delighted that you were going to be able to play with them”

She instantly sat up, rubbing away the sleep from her eyes “Oh! Charlie and Lizzie! Mama!” she squealed, suddenly very energetic “They said they would show me toys their mama and papa brought them” She clapped her hands and hastily exited the carriage once the footman opened the door.

“Careful” you called out after her, grabbing the blankets you previously set out for her to sleep more comfortably

“Amy!” you could hear your mother’s voice exclaim as you put your feet on the floor and looked around “Oh, look how big you’ve gotten sweet girl!”

“And so beautiful too, just as beautiful as her mother” your papa added happily, bringing you into a hug

“mama, papa, it is so nice to see you” You greeted happily returning the hug before pulling back “has Ed and Ellie arrived? Amy cannot wait to play with Charlie and Lizzie” you ask

“Oh! Yes, they are just inside, come on Amy, let us go see your aunt and uncle” your mama urged grabbing on to your daughter’s little hand, your father offered his hand to you which you rejected, shaking your head

“You three go on ahead, I just want to breathe in a little bit of fresh air, those few hours in the carriage made me a little nauseous” you breathed out, they nodded before walking away and leaving you alone. You sighed, turning to look you at the sky, letting the sun soak into your skin.

It is crazy how fast time passes. It seems like it was just yesterday when you got your heart broken. It seems like it was just yesterday when after getting your heart broken, you decided to move on away from him and instead marry a dear friend of yours.

Jacob Thornwell was his name, the duke of Rosehill, you had met him through your brother as they had gone to Eton together and you become close friends, close enough to marry each other. It wasn’t a marriage out of love but you both cared deeply and respected each other. What more could you have asked for?

You married him because you were heartbroken and wanted to move on and not give that person the satisfaction of seeing you broken, and Jacob married you to escape his family’s complaints.

After a week of mourning over your lost love, you went to him and proposed the idea, he accepted and soon after you married. You were happy, or at least the most happy you could be after getting your heart broken, but everything changed when a few months later, you had little Amelia.

Your world changed after that day, after you held your sweet babe in your arms, after she opened her eyes, those eyes she inherited from her father. And when her little lips formed into a small smile, you knew you would do anything for your daughter, she was now the most important person in the whole world and you would protect her against everything.

You let out a deep breath closing your eyes, after a few moments opening them once again, you turned your head to the side, your body filling with dread when you saw a familiar person looking back at you from across the street.

Your heart started to race when he opened his mouth to say something starting to cross the street , you turned on your heel and entered your parent’s home, not letting him even say anything. You close the front door loudly and lean your body against it, holding your hands close to your chest, willing your heart to slow down.

“Y/n?” You hear your mama’s voice speak up, you turn to look at her, mustering up a smile “Are you alright, dear?”

“Yes, yes I am” you breathed out “I just thought I saw a bug, you know how I get when I see one” you let out a fake laugh, giving a shudder as If you were disgusted to make it more believable

Your mama nodded her head, not quite believing you but deciding to let it go “Of course” She then gestured to the drawing room “Come on now, your brother is anxious to see you” you now smile genuinely before following behind her

After greeting your brother, you were seated on a couch, looking at your daughter and her cousins playing happily in the middle of the room, a smile laying on your face, although that smile faded once you remembered your brief interaction, if you could even call it that, with that man across the street.

How dare he? How dare he look at you as if he was shocked you were in front of him, as if you were the one who had broken his heart and cut all contact with him after, how dare he even try to approach you after everything he did..... after everything he said?

What you would have given to know how he had felt in that moment. That moment when your heart was cracking into a million pieces, that moment where you were crying out for him not to go because you needed him. You wondered how he felt. Did it even hurt him as much as it hurt you? Did he feel that painful tug in his chest or the lump in his throat like you did? Did he even love you as much as you loved him?

You curse the day you met Anthony Bridgerton.

That man was your ruin.

You take it back.

You curse the moment you let your mama convince you to go to the ball Lady Bridgerton was hosting.

Not only because you had to leave Amy at home but because there was also a 50 percent chance that you could encounter Anthony Bridgerton at any given moment, and that was the last thing you wanted to do tonight.

“Fancy seeing you tonight” someone spoke up beside you, you look up, coming face to face with the last person you wanted to see.

Oh, just your luck.

“Lord Bridgerton” You uttered looking back at the couples dancing in the middle of the room

“Miss Y/n – oh, my apologies, I forgot you are now the duchess of Rosehill” he muttered unapologetic “Your grace,” he said sarcastically holding back a scoff, you look up at him once again, sending him a glare

After a few moments of silence, he spoke up “Are you not even going to say anything?”

You sighed angrily, the last thing you wanted to do right now was speak to him “There is nothing to speak about, Viscount Bridgerton”

He scoffed rolling his eyes “Surely you cannot be serious” he grabbed your arm and pulled you into an empty corridor after making sure nobody saw you both “Let us start with something simple, how about the fact that you married Jacob Thornwell when you knew damn well I did not like him”

“Excuse me?!” You scoffed angrily“Who I married is none of your concern”

“None of my concern?” He laughed humorlessly “None… of….my….concern?”

“Yes," you reply “None of your concern, you did not have any say in who I married and whether you liked him or not. Well, guess what? I did not care, not.one.bit” You snapped “ You were the one that left me! Might I remind you of that night when you came into my room and told me all kind of horrible things?”

“I-“ he tried to cut in

“No, no, let me speak!” you glare at him “You told me I was just an easy lay, you told me you didn’t ever have any plans of marrying me and were only looking for an innocent, naïve, foolish little girl who you could fool into sleeping with you. You told me I was a fool for believing everything you ever told me”

“Y/n-“

“Let me speak!” you breathed out harshly, Anthony went silent “Do you have any idea how horrible I felt? How broken I felt? You were the first man I was ever with, the first man who paid even just a little bit of attention to me. The first man I ever loved…. I really loved you, Anthony… I loved you so much that it consumed me entirely. And you left me” you chuckle emotionlessly “But do not worry, I feel nothing for you anymore”

“You seduced me, ruined me, and then left me. I gave you what I should have only given my husband, I was really lucky that Jacob was understanding because if not, I never would have been able to marry, god knows no one would want damaged goods” you shake your head “But I am also grateful, because you showed me how cruel men could be. You showed me how foolish I was for thinking you actually cared about me and you made me realize that I never should have loved someone as heartless as you” you scoffed and turn around, walking away from him, back to the ball

“Y/n, wait!” Anthony called out “Let me explain- y/n- let-“ you ignored him, whatever he was saying now drowned out by the music playing.

“Mama! Look!”

You turn to look at your daughter, she was pointing to a butterfly that was standing on top of a flower. You smiled at Amy, “Yes, it is very beautiful, sweetheart”

Amy smiled and ran to another part of the park “Careful,” you called out to her “And stay where I can see you”

You take a look around the park, looking for any signs of your parents but they seemed to be nowhere. You sighed and sit on a bench nearby where Amy was running around. You groan when you felt your favorite necklace become loose once again, falling down your neck.

“I should really get this fixed” you mumbled trying fasten it around your neck once again, all while you kept your eyes on Amy, making sure nothing happened to her before you felt a presence next to you.

You turn your head, finding Lady Bridgerton next to you with a smile on her face “Your grace” she greets “ It is so nice to see you after all these years”

“Lady Bridgerton” you greet her with a smile “It is so nice to see you as well”

“How have you been? How is your family?”

You smile “ They are fine, thank you for ask-“

“Mama!” You turn your head and stand up quickly when you heard Amy cry out for you. Your daughter runs to you and hugged your legs tightly “What is wrong, darling?” you ask worriedly, before pulling her away, making her look at you

“Look” She shows you her arm which was scraped, tears filling her beautiful blue eyes “I hit a rock and now there is blood” She sniffled

“Oh, now now, do not cry” you coo caressing her cheek. You look up at Lady Bridgerton, who was staring at Amelia with wide eyes, her face turning pale. Dread fills your entire body.

“I- Is that- She looks- what- A-“ She stuttered

“Lady Bridgerton” you cut her off “If you may excuse me, I must find my parents, it was nice seeing you again” you give her one last smile and walked away, holding onto Amy’s hand

You groan as you ruffled throughout your bedchambers. You looked through your clothes, under your bed, on your dresser, anywhere you could think of but you still could not find it.

You exit your bedchambers and head down the stairs to the drawing room. “Mama” you called out entering the room “Have you seen my necklace? I cannot seem to find it anywhere”

Your mama looked up from her embroidery “Have you looked in your chambers?”

“I have” you looked at her worried “but it is not there” you grumble sitting down next to her “I need to find it mama, that is the last thing I have of Jacob, it is really special”

She raises an eyebrow “Well, I seem to think the last thing you have of Jacob is Amy, is she not?”

You stayed still “I – yes, of course, but I mean the last materialistic think left of him” I reply

She hums “Well, now that I remember, I recall Lady Bridgerton saying she has your necklace and you could go over today if you desire”

Your face lights up “Perfect! I will go then” you walk away before stopping and turning back to her “Will you look after Amy for me, please, I will not be long” you smile when she nods and walk out of the house

You open the front door slowly, looking around before walking further in. “Lady Bridgerton?” you called out and enter the drawing room

You huff when you don’t see her inside “She is not even here, why did she say to come here today then? And why didn’t she just send me my necklace with a maid” you roll your eyes before turning around, stopping when you come face to face with Anthony

“Looking for this?” He holds out your necklace, you look down at the necklace before looking back up at him

“Why do you have it? Give me it” you held out your hand, gesturing towards your necklace

He shrugs “If this was so important for you, why did you lose it? Mother found your necklace lying on the ground in the park,” he chuckled “How careless of you. And I, like the good son i am, told her that I would give it to you, how sweet of me, right?” He smirked

“Give it to me” you demand, glaring at him

“Tell me the truth first” He shakes his head

You furrowed your eyebrows “What are you talking about? Give me my necklace, now”

“Tell me you have not forgotten me” He mutters “That you still feel something for me”

You swallow, your eyes flickering between both of his eyes before looking down at your necklace and then back at him “Give me my necklace” you decide to ignore his words, evading his eyes so he does not see how much he is affecting you

“Y/n,” he sighs “I love you” he blurts out, you start to feel a light sting on your eyes.

“What are you even saying?” you needed to get out of there, you cannot stand to be there any longer “You are speaking nonsense!” You step around him to walk away but he stops you before you could make another step

“Come on, Y/n” He pleads holding onto your arms

“Let me go” you demand trying to jerk out of his hold

“If you tell me the truth, I will let you go” He said softly, you ignore his words once more, looking down at your necklace in his hands

“Give me back my necklace or dont, either way I will leave” you stated angrily

“Tell me the truth” Anthony repeated “Tell me you have not forgotten about what we had, tell me you have not forgotten me, tell me that you still love me”

You narrow your eyes at him, chuckling humorlessly “ I do not have to tell you anything”

“Do not do this, Y/n” he sighs exasperated

“Do what?” you glare at him

“Do not do this”

“What should I not do?!” you exclaimed

“I am in love with you, Y/n” Anthony admits looking at you softly

You snort before chuckling and looking around “Love?” you turn to look back at him, he nods in response “ After all these years, you speak to me about love?” You shake your head incredulously

“What did you think? After all these years, you will come to tell me that you are in love with me and I will jump straight on to your arms, right?” You throw your hands in the air in disbelief “In all that time I spent with you, I'm sure you did not know what place I occupy in your life! You treated me like an object, was I your mistress? Your lover? Did you even plan on courting me or did you only want me to be someone you could tumble around in the sheets with? Oh! wait a moment, you did say you were only looking for a easy lay. And now you speak to me about love!” You scoff

He looks down in shame “I had so many things going around, Y/n, I was confused. I did not know what to do and how to do it. And- and I did not want to drag you down with me” you look at him in disbelief “But I have always been in love with you”

You clench your jaw and scoffed “I do not even know why I am talking to you about this” you uttered and walked around him “Let me go” you exclaimed when he pulled you back towards your spot once again

You look at his chest, not wanting to see him in the face as your eyes stung with tears. Anthony looked down at you and nodded “Then tell me you have forgotten me, tell me you do not love me anymore ”

You opened your mouth and then closed it before opening it once more to speak this time “I forgot you” you looked at him in the eye “ Is that all? I forgot you! I do not love you anymore” you affirmed once more

You step away from his hold “What did you think?! That I would wait for you all these years?! That I would act as if I was just waiting for you to decide you wanted me again, to jump back into your arms?! That I would revolve everything around you?! Do you still think everything revolves around you?! –“

He pulls you into a kiss, cutting off your words. You tense, not expecting what he just did. He kisses you for a few more moments before pulling back. You remained emotionlessly, your lips tingling from the kiss you just shared a few seconds ago.

“I’m sorry” you snapped back out off your trance to look at him “I have crossed the line, I am sorry, if you want we can talk” he sighs ashamed at himself

”I may not know much about love, and that is mostly my fault for not letting myself love, but I know a lot about you” Anthony voiced “ I know you like to look at the rain, sometimes you even let the drops grace your hand. I also know you adore looking at the stars, those little lights that make your eyes shine in wonder. And you like to get lost in your thoughts, in that mind so disastrous but philosophical at the same time. You are a riddle that at first sight is complex but when you get to know it, you discover that it is a wonder of the world”

You ponder over his words, looking up at his face before looking back down, wringing your fingers before looking back up at him once again.

You smile sadly “ I cannot forgive you, Anthony, every sweet word you say cannot take away all of the pain you caused me, and I am sincerely sorry if you thought that this encounter would turn out another way, one in which everything is forgiven and you and I could be the perfect picture family but I am sorry to disappoint you. I cannot forgive you, and honestly," you sighed “ I do not want to”

With that, you turned away,

“Y/n…” he mumbled, you stop once again “ Love me again, please” you let out a shaky breath shaking your head and walking away and this time, he willingly lets you.

You wipe your tears away furiously entering your home once again “ Y/n?” your mama comes out of the drawing room, she looks at your tear stained cheeks before looking into your eyes worriedly “What happened?”

Your lips trembled before you hug her, letting the tears fall silently “Oh, what is wrong my dear?” you shook your head hugging her more tightly

After a few moments you pull away, wiping under your eyes carefully, all while your mama is still looking at you.

She sighed before sitting down next to you “I will give you some advice and I hope you listen to it” your mama uttered, her eyes flicking over to the drawing room before she spoke “Cry what you have to cry and suffer what you have to suffer. Because everything is ephemeral in this life, everything gives way at some point and pain is not the exception. And if you have to scream, then do so, if you have to break down, then break down. Do what you have to do to start again, to be able to heal, to be able to be happy and to be able to live”

“Why are you telling me this?” you wonder confused as she stood up, grabbing your hand before she led you out to the garden, where you saw your daughter running around happily

She chuckles softly “Dear, do you really think I did not know about your affair with the viscount?” you stare at her wide eyed, speechless “Do you think I had no idea that you snuck him in every night on your first season? Of course I did know, you are my only daughter and I would be damned if I let you be hurt by anything.”

You went to make up something but she cut you off “ And do not make some excuse that it was actually you who snuck out because you went for morning rides on your horse because it is not even believable” your mama rolls her eyes “ I care for you and your brother, and now little Amelia, more than anyone in this world, even more than your father. I love my children and grandchildren, that is the reason why I never said anything to you or to anyone. I saw how happy he made you, I thought you hid your courtship because you did not desire the society's attention on you both and that you would soon inform us that you were together, maybe even engaged”

“Mama…” you whisper looking down

“But then that light I saw in your eyes faded, you would spend your days locked in your bedchamber's , and imagine my surprise when you announced a month after, that you were getting married to Jacob Thornwell” your mama let out a shaky breath “You do not know how heartbroken I felt to see you like that. So low spirited, that the girl that used to be so happy, laughed so much and had so much love to give, was gone in a matter of a day”

“And I do not know what happened between the viscount and you but I trust you and your decisions. That is why I still supported you when you decided to marry the duke even when you were not in love with him. It was not a marriage of love but at least it was one of friendship, one in which you had a beautiful daughter” she remarked

You smiled lightly “She really is beautiful” you looked at Amelia who went to sit on the swing, looking at a butterfly that was flying by

Your mama hummed “She really did get the best of you and the viscount’s features” once again, you were left speechless, your smile fading as she laughed once she saw your expression “Oh please, I did not for one second believe that you gave birth 2 months early because of some complications you supposedly had, and Amy looks a lot like the viscount, Lady Bridgerton can surely attest to that” she then walked away after dropping that bomb on you.

“Your grace”

You looked to your side “Oh, it is you again” you pursue your lips “You surely do not understand that I do not want you near me, do you?”

“Oh come on, do not be like that” you roll your eyes at his words

“ I am not being like anything” You grumble “ I am simply annoyed that you cannot seem to take a hint and leave me alone”

“Of course I can take a hint” Anthony huffs “I just simply choose not to accede to your desires” You scoff

“Such a nice person you are” you grumble looking away

“I never said I was nice" he tilted his head to look at you better

“I can see that” you said

“Mama!” Amy slammed on to your legs “Grandmamma said i can eat some of the sweets on the table if you allow me” You look down at your daughter “Can I please eat some?” Amy gave you a pout making you laugh

“Of course” you laugh before you turned at your side when you remembered who was next too you. Anthony was looking at Amy wide eyed

“She is – is she your daughter?” He asked you, you nodded, your heart starting to pound faster.

He knelt down to her height and extended a hand, smiling at her slightly “Hello” he greeted her when she turned to him “ I am Viscount Bridgerton but you can call me Anthony”

Amy smiled happily, shaking his hand “I am Amelia but my family calls me Amy” Anthony looked at you for a moment before turning back to Amy

“How old are you, Amy?”

“Amelia, sweetheart,” you cut in “Why do you not go back to grandmamma and eat those sweets you were telling me about?”

“How old are you, Amy?” Anthony asked again

“Amy-“

“5” Amy answered him happily, showing him five fingers. Anthony snapped his eyes towards you quickly when she answered

“Amy” you stressed out, Amy looked at you then “Will you please go to grandmamma now?”

She shrugged and skipped happily towards your mama who was already looking at you three, your mama gave you a look when her eyes met yours flickering her eyes to Anthony and back to you before smiling at Amy who was now next to her.

You sighed looking at Anthony, who was now turning pale “She – why did you – Y/n, I do not understand – is she my daugh –“you cut him off, grabbing his hand and pulling him to an empty room after making sure no one saw you.

“Do not say those things where anyone can hear you, Lord Bridgerton” you snapped

He chuckled humorlessly, his eyebrows furrowing as he clenched his jaw“She is my daughter” He stated

“ No, she is not” you denied “She is Jacob’s daughter” he narrowed his eyes at you

“Do not try to lie to me because I do not believe you”

“Well you must because that is the truth” you rolled your eyes at him

“She is five” he snapped angrily “She has my mother’s eyes, Daphne’s eyes." He looked around before leaning in closer “And you and I both know Jacob liked everything but women.” Anthony stepped back, clearing his throat “You can try to deny it all you want but the proof was right there in front of me” You stayed quiet “Why did you not tell me? Did you not think I deserved to know my daughter?”

“She is not your daughter!” You exclaim “ She is mine and she is Jacob’s, not yours” Anthony looked at you hurt

You both stared at each other silently, your chests rising quickly, heavy breaths escaping both of your lips. Anthony sighed walking closer to you, you swallowed, taking one step back with every step he took towards you.

“Why did you marry Jacob Thornwell?” He asked “Did you love him?”

You shook your head, deciding to answer with the truth “It was not love. I did not marry him for love, but for friendship” he looked at you confused

“You told me you would not marry unless it was for love-“

“Yes, well, things change do they not?” you muttered, he went silent.

“I am sorry,” He admitted quietly after a few minutes “I know whatever I say is not enough, and it will also not take away any of the pain I caused you, but I am truly sorry, please believe me, Y/n” he held onto your hands, you look down at your intertwined hands

He raised your chin with his hand, making you look back up at him. “I cannot defend myself because there is no excuse that can fix what I did to you, I, myself, do not know why I did that” he swallowed “ The only thing I can say is that i loved you then, and I love you now, and if you allow me, I can continue to love you for the rest of my life ”

“There is no one else I would rather have next to me, no one else I would rather love for eternity than the one person I have really loved my entire life. No one else than the mother of my beautiful daughter.” He caressed your cheeks “Say yes, Y/n. Let us have that life that I so stupidly threw away. Let me prove that I can truly make you happy. Let me love you”

You stayed silent before speaking up “I moved on with my life, pretending that nothing had happened between us.” You admitted quietly “But there were times when you crossed my mind, especially when I looked at Amelia” you then added “you caused my heart to explode by the simple memory of something that was. It is strange, to know that even with everything that happened, that love I held for you, the same one I still have for you, never faded” his face started to light up with his words. A small smile appearing in his face.

“Does that mean you will…..”

“I do not know if I will regret this, but I have not stopped loving you. I- Anthony- I promise you, do not make me regret this or else I will really murder you” You grumble

Anthony laughs happily before pulling you into a kiss, his lips moved against yours softly, testing the waters, as if to make sure you won’t pull away before he started to kiss you more passionately. His hands pulling you close by your waist as you wrapped your hands around his neck, kissing him back just as passionately.

“I won’t” he mumbled onto your lips “If so I give you permission to murder me willingly”

You hummed before pulling away“Just let me love you before that happens” you smile.

[powerpuffobsession]

Am I the only one who feels that Hazbin Hotel's overall vibe is far too naive and upbeat for an adult cartoon about hell and redemption of sinners?

I feel like before writing this cartoon, Vivzie and the other writers should have made a trip to unfortunate areas of the world and watch how the lifestyle there rolls. Because hell is said to be a place of misery, where there is no trust and a lot of hate, both internal and external... Adam is an object of pure unfiltered hartred (both from writers and fandom) because he dares to live in heaven, such a safe and friendly-natured place...

And yet the sinners who happen to be main characters act more like school kids on a field trip (even more carefree than those, lol) - their selfish and sinful motives are so artificial and are brought up only when these characters need to look like a victim, not like criminals who somehow deserved a place in hell

Obviously, it's a manipulative trope to put them in a better light than Heaven and Adam (who is forever silenced by the writers and not allowed to voice any thoughts and reflections other than "hurr durr murder I luuuv murdering and being evil because that's what I was since I was born, even though Lilith and Eve, born literally the same way as me, were innocent victims from the get go, and no logical explanation for that will be provided whatsoever - men bad, women good")

In the light of all that, the sinners are too eager to trust each other and form "da epic powar of friendship" mlp-sonic-style

In a society built on terror, anarchy and survival instincts, no one would ever bother wasting vital power on noticing someone's problems and helping them out. Everyone is focused on their own problems and desires, and that's what drives them to act. Well, the exception may be family members, and even that varies

That's why Husk's intent to comfort Angel after the later attacks him over nothing at the bar, looks really fake, considering the setting. At first I thought that "loser baby" where Husk insults Angel, was some sort of revenge and Husk laughing in the spider's face. But no, it actually turned out to be a comforting song that started their friendship. Husk literally had no motivation to want to help Angel, because he was annoyed by him all the time prior. If there was some kind of basis for their bonding, I would have believed it. But not like this.

And Angel had no reason to actually like that sort of comfort. I get it when your best friend or a family member cheers you up in a harsh way - you know them. And even when coming from people you trust that can hurt. Now imagine a complete stranger doing that to you. That's actually something that shouldn't be done - trying to playfully insult or jester a person you haven't communicated with for a long enough time to gain their trust. And to make this even more strange, Angel at first reacts negatively, but then suddenly snaps to liking that disrespectful way of comforting for no reason at all.

And why did Angel even vent his problems to Husk, a stranger bartender who he'd hurt before. Wasn't he actually afraid of being laughed at and of Husk using his trauma to spread gossip around or something?

Next, Sir Pentious. In the pilot (which is officially part of canon, mind you), he already felt like a joke sunday cartoon villain, but at least he had some edge to him that made him look like a sinner with some dark history. In the series however, he gets nerfed the very moment he steps into the hotel to the point where it's painful to look at

His tendency to abuse his henchmen, his physopathic demeanor, his hartred for Cherri (instead of embarrassing attempts to get blue balled by her), his sincere power hunger - where did all that go? Vanished in a blink of an eye. All that's left of a promising snake demon is a pile of fanservice. So morally unchallenging and harmless that a viewer theoretically simply cannot resist loving him

Well i'm kind disappointed. We don't even know in what way Sir Pentious had to improve, because the plot never focused on his past, his life goals, whatever made him want to lead turf wars and whatever awful things he did in life, what was the point where he started degrading... none of that. He just became a better person after one "sorry song" and acted perfectly innocent ever since and didnt put any effort into getting ready to sacrifice himself for other main characters

The sacrifice... to me it's baffling how fast the sinners, over the course of just 6 months, actually became Charlie's family figures and risked their lives for her hotel. Such pure child-cartoon-styled power of friendship, built in hell, with the aid of a princess who cant even think through her project of helping sinners without bringing them more trouble... realistically, Charlie would have had to fight angels alone (how convenient it is that no main characters died in that chaotic brawl, right?)

And Charlie herself is far too naiive and soft-natured for someone who is free to walk along the streets of hell looking at all the muder, rape and othe horrible stuff that's happening there. Given that she's 200, Charlie had more than enough time to built up her street smarts and guts and learn to be more practical and mindful, instead of staying with the mind of a 12 year old who needs other characters to do everything for her (Lucifer, Vaggie, Alastor) and then get praised for THEIR efforts. That's hell's royalty and our main character?

Aaand since sinners are portrayed as Charlie's "people" (as if they are a nationality), sweet babies who all deserve redemption and are called innocent by Emily (I can't believe how dumb the writers made angels be) - the true essence of exterminatons is never focused on. Adam and his exterminator army are seen in the wrong, like some kind of monsters who terrorize poor souls. However, think about this - child molesters, rapists, torturers, bullies, nazists, actual racists etc died in those exterminations. Doesnt that seem like something a lot of us would want? To have scum like this disappear as revenge for people they have hurt/driven to suicide?

Exterminations are not really an act of racism, bigotry or something like that. They are an excecution of criminals, which a lot of sinners are.

But the black and white writing is trying to conceal that rather prominent highlight of the rotten part of Charlie's plan (not all sinners deserve mercy or redemption). All that was needed was to make exterminators these icky "villains" who luuuv killing and are never willing to listen

All in all, a cartoon that has an ambitious premise that should be driven by psychological reasearch/analysis and dark serious themes... makes me roll my eyes with its cliche use of "power of friendship" and " strictly good main characters, strictly bad villains" tropes. Too bad such beautiful animation was wasted on such juvenile writing that never had any effort put into it

There shouldn't even be any villains or heroes in a setting like this. Allow the lead roles (sinners in hell) do something actually questionable and be unlikable, don't coddle the viewer in fear of making them even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Allow those, who opposes sinmers, have personalities and reasons, not cliche sociopathy for sociopathy's sake to cause forced sympathy for the main characters

Pristine "safe" writing should not have a place in adult cartoons. Or else they will stay a product that'd rather be watched by 7-14 year olds instead of adults (I can't picture a single adult over 22 who would unironically call hazbin hotel a show that tackles realistic issues in an observant way)

[superectojazzmage]

I really dig Qimir's characterization. He's a Sith and a lot of the brutality of Sith culture is on full display, but he doesn't really come off as necessarily evil or even especially malicious, at the very least no the in the typical way Sith villains are portrayed.

Mae's hunting of the Brendok Jedi seems to have been more of a personal thing for her that he reluctantly went along with as part of her training, and Qimir himself is evidently more concerned with keeping his culture alive than perpetuating old grudges. He hates Jedi because of all the bad blood between them and Sith and the ideological differences and has no issue with killing them, but also mostly just wants to be left alone to practice his faith, use his powers, and rear his own students/children as he sees fit rather than being forced to follow the laws of the nation that destroyed his own.

He bears no delusions about the Sith's current predicament as a tiny husk of it's former self hiding in the cracks of a society dominated by ancestral enemies, like many of the Baneite Sith do. He isn't interested in fantasies of revenge and conquest. As he says to Sol, the only reason he kills the hunting party is because Mae has caused them all to discover the Sith, and if the Jedi Council and Republic learn about Sith still existing they'll default to slaughtering or depowering them all for being "tainted by darkness", the exact same way they've done after every prior conflict with the Sith.

And while he disagrees with the Jedi Code, he also despises when Jedi fail to follow their own stated principles and gladly points out when they're being hypocrites (like how he mocks Sol for being upset over Jecki's death because she's "a child", as if he didn't personally lead said child into lethal combat after rearing her as a warrior and as if the Jedi in general don't use their padawans as child soldiers as a rule). His obvious disdain Sol and the Brendok Jedi specifically over even the other Jedi seems less motivated by the Jedi-Sith feud and more by him knowing about the very bad thing they almost assuredly did on Brendok and being livid about them continuing to act like they have the moral high ground despite it.

In a lot of ways, he's in the same position as the Brendok Coven, someone who wants to be free to live their own way and not be bashed into line by the Jedi and Republic, which would certainly explain why he and Mae gravitated to working together. They see each other as kindred spirits, both people left alone and in hiding by the imperialism of the Republic and the Jedi's refusal to let anyone who challenges their view of the Force exist in the long term, if at all. And that also adds to his anger with Mae when she turns on him; she was trying to throw him under the bus so she can ingratiate herself with the people who killed both her and his people. Even in a culture that values cunning and deceit, that sort of betrayal would probably be seen as unimaginable, the kind of dishonor that can never be atoned for.

All in all, the show is such a nice throwback to the more morally nuanced and even-handed works you used to see more of during the Legends EU days, showing the flaws and issues with all the involved groups while not coming down too hard and deeming any one pure evil, as well as treating the individual characters within those groups as varied in nature but usually sympathetic or at least understandable. The Jedi as an institution and a part of the governmental system are deeply flawed at even the best of times, but most of the Jedi come off as decent folk who are genuinely just trying to do the right thing. The Brendok Witches had their issues, but also justified reasons for everything they did and at the end of the day they just wanted to be allowed to live their lives without fear of outsiders storming in to take their children away and forbid them from passing their ways on. And now, with Qimir, yeah, the Sith culture is shown to be very harsh, ruthless, or even downright savage by the standards of the Jedi (and our own real world values), but they're still people at the end of the day.

[oswildin]

(Possibly?) Controversial opinion incoming:

(Throwing it back to 2012/2013 here lmao)

I feel like the theory that Loki was mind controlled during the Avengers actually takes away the complexity of his character.

w-wait- waIT- HEAR ME OUT!

I think Loki was INFLUENCED by the mind stone for sure, but, to me, he was not controlled.

His anger, his fear, his need for validation and revenge are all what drove him to the events of the Avengers movie. He had just been, what he felt, was cast out by Thor and Odin and his home - those he considered his family and people, he had fallen through space, ended up in such a bad state that Thanos found him and used him for his own gain. (Although, Loki is smart enough to play at that game, ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ type of thing. EDIT: I mean this sentence in a ‘Loki is good at twisting things to his advantage’ way, not that it means he couldn’t have been manipulated himself in the process.)

I don’t think Thanos or the mind stone had any control over Loki’s mind, not in the way most theories speak of. Loki was controlled by the consequences he would face if he failed his mission, not that he was physically being controlled. I think Loki was given the mind stone because Thanos knew it would enhance those feelings of venom Loki was experiencing - it was an aid of sorts to give him his conviction, which even then, Agent Coulson saw through it.

“You lack conviction.”

Those simple words got to Loki. Because he knew it was true.

Loki never wanted the throne but yet, that was what he was telling everyone was his goal, his reasoning, his motivation… When in his heart, he knew it wasn’t. His motivation was truly fuelled from his hurt, his pain… Not an ambition for a throne.

And that is what makes Loki so interesting.

And that is why I find the theory that Loki had no control over his actions and had no idea what he was doing, takes away from his character, his complexity…

(PSA: I am not here to tell you what you can or cannot headcannon or what theories you believe, it’s a fictional character in a fictional story in a fictional universe… It isn’t that deep, this is just my own personal opinion and preference! If you like the theory for your own reasons, that’s fine too! /gen)

[myezblog]

Ep 4

Pretty solid episode... most of the theories have been validated.

What we got right -

All experiences that Great is having of saving people and essentially everything , it is all in his head... nothing happening for real

4 minutes because heart stopping and brain stopping - dead to really really dead is 4 minutes (we are 11.02 right now.. Great is alive until 11:04)

After death experience - were right about beliefs... wherein one patient saw angels performing on her.. whereas the 4 min. thing is more about regrets and what ifs... ( interestingly, we did not hear Lukwa tell us which part of her life she revisited during her 4 min. journey)

Thing is linked to saving Tyme... This is Great grappling desparately and with all the what ifs to save Tyme... his most important moment, person, life phase...

Tonkla's motive and brother, Tonkla using Win

Timelines -

Scene before intro is the real normal actual timeline (i had this theory since ep 2 and there is another person who had the same theory...don't recall user id) ... So, in the present, ep 1 - Great is in the hospital and Tyme is dying ; ep 2 - Tonkla did murder and take revenge ; ep 3 and 4 - Police is investigating the murders

All of great's experiences - whichever scene he is in is playing in his mind... timeflow is not normal pace

Don't think there are more timelines. Even Korn-Win-Tonkla thing that we are being shown is in the past/ actual past (we can see this because Great is living the past... so he has the full picture at this time)

Where the timeline falters-

3. So, lady was also in her arrest while/when Great went into arrest- ep 1... SO, when she came to visit Dan with her 4 min. experience, she had come out of her cardiac arrest moment and interacted with Dan quite a few times by then...

But great is still on the hospital bed... and yet Dan talks about Great as another patient who can see 4 min. in the future..

My guess is, Lukwa is also someone who existed in past... and great heard of her case...hence she is part of the story in his brain...

He hasn't met lukwa yet in the 4 min. room... he will... and i guess that's when timelines will start sorting themselves out..

Tonkla -

Tonkla killed his dad or was involved hence his fingerprints exist in the database. Cat was likely killed by dad. That's why Mio was so against title because title abuses girls too and is an aggressive person

Definitely using Win for the case

Did love Korn, does love Korn... but will be interesting to see how he reacts when he knows that along with Title, Great was also there when title bludgeoned his brother to death

Korn said he would tell the world that tonkla is his boyfriend...but now korn has a fiancee and uh! messed up

(lol.. at Win not wearing his pants back during the whole time korn was there)

Great -

The place they have run to... which Great has taken them to and not tyme... again reaffirms that this is not real.. all is happening in his head...

So, he is with tyme.. in a nice romantic serene place where no one can find them and which Great doesn't know himself

Ost lyrics

I could give it all to be with you even if it is merely an illusion from the heaven

Every sin and sorrow i shouldered was from my heart's command

It means i could do anything and everything if you were to leave me

I will not say it again but please keep this in mind, You can never leave me

I know fairly well that caring for a venomous snake would make my life suffer everyday

And if one day, anyone betrays me, I can assure you in one word:

Avenge, i will destroy and cleanse it all till your very last day

There will not be a single minute where your wish can be fulfilled

If you ever let go of my hand, i promise you that when we meet next time You will have to come crawling back to me

Even when i know you are venomous, i still endure it

Whatever reason it may be but i am not giving you up to anyone else

You can never leave me

I know fairly well that feeding a venomous snake would make me live in paranoia everyday

And even if you turn to bite my feeding hands and betray me, i can assure you that i will "Avenge"... destroying and cleansing it all till your very last day

I will use your tears to cleanse it all..

In summary

Tonkla and Great have to overlap somewhere with respect to Tyme for the two stories to make sense. Likely Tonkla is on revenge targetting both Title and Great (he could go after tyme given Tyme is precious to Great) Or Korn-Tyme conflict linking itself to Tonkla (aka what if Korn could freely love Tonkla and never pushed into business)

Great's arc... it is like the Godfather... Great is the nice guy, detached from all shady and business stuff... but going by OST... he has to emerge as someone who is way better than Korn at handling this business and upping against every other player

The past that we see in Great's mind is also twisted... e.g. we don't know if Tyme genuinely liked Great or was using him till the very end... but Great must have turned grey (taking over business, handling korn.. etc etc.. to protect tyme)

Going back to the statement that has been made twice now about one's beliefs and religion playing a part on the deathbed.... I THINK.. it is the sheer strong will of great to save Tyme that Tyme might be saved by the end of this ordeal.. Great may or maynot be alive

[holmsister]

Why I think Kabru was the first child Milsiril took in:

1) it coincided with the Utaya catastrophe and her leaving the Canaries. If she was already in the habit of taking kids in, Idk if she would have been able to still be in the Canaries.

2) it also makes more sense to me in terms of character motivation if leaving the Canaries and taking Kabru in is all one decision. Like. Young Milsiril doesn't seen particularly motherly. Think of how she treats Mithrun - she gives him motivation to live, yes, but she does so by inciting him towards revenge. (This happens BEFORE she takes Kabru in btw im pretty sure its explicitly stated somewhere. I say this because i saw some confusion on the matter). An older, less angry, more disillusioned Milsiril saw what the elves did in Utaya and decided to both stop being an accomplice and try to repair things how she could by helping a victim.

3) ...which also explains why she was so unprepared. Like there's no way around it - it's clear that she is incredibly unprepared to deal with a tallman child, let alone one who is as incredibly traumatised as Kabru was. She also seems to not have a clear idea about tallman growth and maturity rates etc. (She tries to spoonfeed an elementary age kid and thinks Kabru is going thru puberty at 22!) If she had previous experience with short-lived races she would have a clearer idea of such things, if nothing else, thru mere experience. Her lack of knowledge makes a lot more sense if taking Kabru in was an impulsive decision maturated in the context of Utaya, and only after she spent some years with him she was like. Oh actually I like taking care of children. I might want to keep doing it.

4) I know there's the Rin comic in which the other elves seem to imply Milsiril is the go-to for dealing with short-lived races children and also she says she doesn't have space to take anyone else in, but it's possible she started taking in more kids in after she felt like she got her footing with kabru (iirc kabru had already been living with her for a couple years at that point) or, what I'm tending towards, she meant that she couldn't take anyone else *besides Kabru*. Considering the other elves treat Rin as some sort of little wild animal l don't think it would take much for them to consider someone an expert in handling children.

5) there's never any mention of other kids besides Rin in Kabru's memory. It seems weird to me if he spent so much time in the house with those other kids he does not talk/remember them, especially considering how curious and sociable baby kabru was. It might be a facet of elven childcare we don't know, but we see elven families being reasonable sociable in canon at times, i don't see why Kabru wouldnt be allowed to befriend the other kids if they were there.

6) milsiril seemingly dedicates a lot of time to him and only him. This can be explained simply by noting that this is Kabru's memory tho. But still. She keeps track of him in adulthood, has him fully adopted into his family, dedicates personal time to his education and training, and even teaches him some coping mechanisms for his panic and anxiety attacks, like the whole "recite capitals of the world" thing.

I think that Kabru was the first kid she took in, he lived alone with her for a very long time, and only after he was with one foot out of the door (14-16) she started taking in other children, which would be at that point too young to be interesting as friends to a teenager Kabru looking forward to either becoming a Canary or moving out.