#and his lightsaber with the kyber crystals in the hand guard like that i love it

[majorproblems77]

Oh wow!

These are amazing!

one moment

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Okay im good

These look so good, I love how the lightsabers are all different sword types based on each character I love it you've created these so well!

once again thank you for tagging me I love these so much they bring me joy

Heroforge: Jedi (Part One)

I'm back- with JEDI! Well, actually, only about half of them. I still need to make a few (like Kit Fisto, Quinlan, Barris, Jocasta Nu, etc; they're going to be in another post). But I think you'll enjoy who I have so far!

Also. I forgot to do honorifics for the Clones, because this is a fantasy world, and everyone has honorifics. Mea culpa, I'll edit that post as soon as I'm done with this one, so you can go check that out if you want.

Tagging: @whyoneartheven @anime-obsessed @majorproblems77

Sir Anakin Skywalker, the Valiant. His lightsaber is a dark-blue greatsword, with the Kyber Crystal embedded in the pommel. I chose it to represent the facts that his attacks are very aggressive but leave room for little defense- as it's a two-handed weapon, he has to defend by using offensive measures. (Also, it's a double-edged blade. *coughs in foreshadowing*.) In addition- his prosthetic arm is an enchanted golden gauntlet, to reference Clone Wars (2003), because I am a sucker for Clone Wars (2003) as much as I am a sucker for The Clone Wars (2008).

Sir Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Noble (alternatively: the Silver-Tongued). Okay, shut up for a second and let me nerd about his lightsaber. You may notice that he fights with a sword-and-shield combo. This is to reference his mastery of Soresu, a defense-heavy form of lightsaber combat. His crossguard- in which is embedded his light-blue kyber crystal- and his shield shape also reference the Jedi Crest. (And his hair is dark red because I said so, that's why.)

Squire Ahsoka Tano (later to be granted the honorary title of Lady Ahsoka the Perseverant). SHE'S FINALLY DONE! As you can see, she's differed slightly from her original concept (which I will link here)- her headscarf is now blue, and she has a different skirt (which I realize you can't see in the original picture, but I assure you, it was different), which I changed to match the simpler tastes of the Jedi (sidenote: as you will see, Jedi do have a loose habit, or the uniform dress of a monastic order, but padawans are allowed to be a bit more liberal with their clothing because they are not fully professed members of the order yet). For lightsabers, she wields two Togrutan daggers with the kyber crystals embedded in the pommels, just like Anakin :) Since she dual-wields, I thought it would be more practical for them to be shortblades, so she doesn't accidentally slice herself; her fighting style is still highly acrobatic, just like in canon. ALSO! Her facial markings! I mentioned in the original sneak peek that I'd be writing lore on the different races, because most of them are just different human cultures in this AU, so I'll expand on those now! Togruta have a rich tradition of facial painting (and later tattooing, when a child comes of age) and each Togruta wears a unique pattern that blends elements of the markings of their family. Since Ahsoka is a Temple Youngling and thus doesn't remember her family's markings, she made her own based on the family she found in the Jedi Order. Her markings on Heroforge don't exactly match up to her canon markings but this explanation would work in either universe: her cheek markings represent Plo Koon and resemble the horns on his helmet; her forehead markings resemble Anakin's lightsaber, because he taught her to stand up and fight for herself and others; and her eyeliner markings represent Obi-Wan and how he taught her to be observant to the Force and to always look with empathy towards others.

Archprior Yoda, the Wise. Sci-Fi creatures are actually quite easy to adapt into fantasy creatures- I just gave him hooves, horns, and a tail. The most intersting thing I want to point out is that he wields a fencing rapier as his lightsaber (you can't see it in these pictures, but his kyber crystal is in the pommel)- and, as you'll see when I post his pictures, so does his apprentice Dooku. Yoda's habit also has some additional accents, to denote his status as Archprior.

Sir Mace Windu, the Eternally Stressed Just. Mace might just be my favorite redesign, because LOOK AT HIS ARMOR! It's all tinged purple, and his pauldrons and gauntlets are lionesque, referencing his creation and mastery of Vaapad. Additionally, and I know you can't really see it from these angles but trust me on this one, he wields an executioner's sword. These have a blunted end as they were not supposed to be used in combat, and Mace wields one to represent his statues as an arbiter of justice >:) This means he has to be extremely skilled with it to make it work effectively. His kyber crystal seems to be embedded in the pommel, but in actuality it runs all the way up the blade. This was for no particular reason, I just thought it looked cool.

Sir Plo Koon, the Compassionate. His helmet is meant to reference his canon counterpart's head silhouette, and these helmets are a mark of pride for the Kel Dor- they're passed down through the paternal line and can be thousands of generations old. So, not exactly like Children of the Watch Mandos- they're not forbidden to remove their helmets, but they rarely do, to show pride in their lineage. Also, Plo wears a Wolfpack pauldron and a wolf fur cape, because he is a proud father :) His lightsaber has its kyber crystals embedded in its hand-guard and the base of the blade.

Sir Ki-Adi-Mundi, the Insightful. Much like the Kel Dor, the Cereans have familial helmets, but they aren't necessarily heirlooms, and they're matrilineal- each Cerean will make his or her own unique helmet against the pattern of his or her mother. (Kel Dor, Cereans, and Togruta are all fiercely tribal- it's speculated they share a common ancestor culture.) He wields a dark blue cutlass, that burns light blue, with its kyber crystal in the pommel.

Lady Shaak Ti, the Merciful. Like all fully-fledged adult Togruta, her facial markings are tattooed, and she wears a horned headdress over her headscarf. In addition, she wears a cape (to mimic her much longer, adult lekku). Her skirt features the same braided detailing as the braid on her headscarf, and she wields an aquamarine-colored scimitar, with the kyber crystal in the crossguard.

Lady Aayla Secura, the Forthright. She wields a violet-blue shortsword, with the kyber crystal making up the pommel. She also wears the traditional Twi'lek kerchief. (I'm sorry there's not much to say about her, I haven't deeply explored the Twi'lek culture in this AU yet. I'll have more probably when I do my Rebels set.)

Lady Luminara Unduli, the Honorable. She wields a seafoam-green blade with the kyber crystal in the crossguard. Unlike Togruta markings, Mirialan markings are completely personal and need not bear any resemblance to one's family's markings. They are, however, still tattooed. The front panel of her skirt also boasts a traditional Mirialan pattern, in the same metallic colors as the metal of her Mirialan gauntlets. (I think now is a good time to mention that, as you may have seen, while there is a habit enforced for the order, individual Jedi are allowed- and in fact, encouraged- to also import features of their traditional dress into the habit. So while they all wear similar clothes, the colors, skirts, shoes, and armor/jewelry/facial markings are unique from Jedi to Jedi.)

Bonus: The Disaster Duos (I would have made a singular one with all three of them, but Heroforge is stupid and won't let me do that >:( )

I hope you enjoyed! Questions and comments are always welcome, and I'd love to hear them! They really help with characterization and worldbuilding, but more importantly, it makes me so happy to know you enjoyed! Next week, I'll probably have the Villains to post. I'm looking forward to it!

[peach-and-bugs]

🖤She’s All That I’ve Got - Captain Phasma x fem!Reader🖤

Royalty Enemies to Lovers Au

Fanfiction master list

Summary: y/n's kingdom has fallen under the iron fist of the Empire despite her best efforts. But, much to her surprise, she's been allowed to live. She knows that Ren must want something from her or her kingdom, but that's for the future. as of right now, she has been granted permission to move about the grounds as she might have normally before. However, she will always be under the watchful eye of Ren's trusted Captain Phasma, head of his stormtrooper army…

Warnings: mentions of death, near violence

Word Count: 2,448

A/N: here's my first real medieval Au! Reader is referred to as high priestess instead of princess just because I like it better, but both titles are synonyms so they can be used interchangeably. And for a little lore dump, I wanted to keep the same kind of weapons and designs since this is StarWars, but troopers instead have normal swords and medieval-akin weapons while Jedi (or ren in this case) still has a lightsaber. but rather than being made of tech it's kind of like an enchanted sword thanks to the kyber crystal embedded in the handle. The force also exists, but its viewed more so as sorcery

She’s All That I’ve Got Tag List: @idontlikepexple

Captain Phasma Tag List:

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-🖤-

Never before would you have anticipated finding so much comfort in your father’s untimely death. Yet, you are, curled up in the corner of a locked cell, deep in your castle's dungeon. Your day dress had grown muddled with mildew and general stone grime. This of course was due to the dungeon's lack of maintenance, because why would you clean it regularly when no one would be held down there? Your small country had come upon a benevolent time of peace after all. Or at least it had been a time of calm before the Empire decided it needed to step in.

Your eyes had begun to burn now having run dry from tears. You knew they would be red by now. Puffy and sore from rubbing them raw in an attempt to keep what little composure you could still. They’d locked you down here hours ago. How many hours was up for anyone to say, but it had been some time. The invasion had ceased outside the walls of your castle, but you could still hear your people's faint cries and shouts in your mind's eye. 

Even if you'd done everything you possibly could, there had to have been something that had slipped your mind. This had to have been avoidable, right? You tisked yourself for the consideration. Your father wouldn’t have dwelled on this had it been him locked in this muddy cell. He would have held his chin up and found some sort of resolution. Well, you weren't your father. And by the look of things, you wouldn’t be leaving this cell for some time. Maybe yous die here. That sounded about right. You'd die here on the cold and wet stone floor only to be reunited with your father once again in the afterlife. Or maybe the empire would spare you the time and host one of those lovely public executions in front of the dwindling number of your people that would venture into the square. You weren't sure which you'd prefer at this point.

It appeared you'd get your answer in a matter of minutes as you heard the low, growling scrape of the dungeon door as it ground against the stone floor, letting in the faintest light as two guards clamored down the stairs with a torch in hand. You scrambled to your feet. Pressing your back to the wall as they clanged toward your cell. You felt your breath quicken as the sound grew. Your feet squirmed under you, trying to warm your footing against the icy stone, though there was no real escape from the same stone chilling deep into your spine. The stormtroopers stopped abruptly, their black hole-like eyes boring into you as one fiddled with the keys to your cell. The door swung open with a clang that almost made you flinch but you held your ground.

“Master Ren is ready to speak with you,” one said. His voice was muffled and distorted by his faceless mask. Your muscles tensed as you flexed your fingers, squeezing your hands into tight fists. The troopers seemed to notice and subconsciously moved their hands to the hilts of their swords, firmly held at their hips. You forced yourself to relax, but still keep up your guard and nodded, telling them to lead the way. You approached the opened door, only to be stopped by a heald palm. You heard a tough clang of metal and looked down to find thick shackles held open to you. The trooper grunted at your hesitation, forcing you to reluctantly offer up your wrists. The metal was much colder on your skin than the cobblestone and it met your blood quickly thanks to your exposed pulse point. 

The trooper locked your wrists in tight and tugged at the metal chain’ checking its integrity before he turned to leave. This trooper began to lead the way with you hesitantly training out of your cell from behind. The second trooper took his place at the back of your little train, following you close with his hand gripping his hilt if you made any effort to run.

Emerging from the underground, you were met with the disheartening sight of imperial flags hanging high from the walls where your home colors used to reside. They were lazily put off but were scorn a stomach-churning shade of blood red. And upon exiting your dungeon, you were flanked by two additional escorts who had likely been waiting in case you dashed while still downstairs. Walking down the long, winding halls you were greeted with even more troopers lining the walls, watching you with prying eyes as you passed. 

Nevertheless, you held your head high. You refused to crumble, especially not in front of an audience. And oh, an audience you would have. Upon entering the throne room, formally your throne room, you were met with overwhelming sunlight and gaudy red redecoration. Stormtroopers lined the room, arms at the ready if you dared to run. And right above you, perched proudly on your father’s throne sat the revered and feared Master Ren. he watched you with keen eyes, his hand covering his chin and mouth. His brow was furrowed in consideration and you could have sworn he hadn't blinked since you entered his presence. 

As you approached with your entourage of guards, the two at your sides peeled off but were replaced by the originals who walked in front and behind. Your eyes began to wander, scanning your crowded surroundings. You took note of the weasely redhead standing at Ren’s left hand. He held his head high with a scrunched nose and evident grimace. He looked at you as though you were scum that has scuffed his boot. You offered a minuscule glare in return till you were stopped by the troopers at your side, who grabbed onto either of your forearms. You were held still, exposed in front of Ren with your shackled hands and waterlogged skirts. But you kept your head up. You wouldn’t shy away, not even now when one might think you looked like a beggar. 

Your eyes turned back to the General as he cleared his throat, he arched a brow and glanced at the ever-casual Ren, who nodded a finger without a word. Hux sniffed rather aggressively through his nose, then gave the guards at your sides a quick nod, and without any other form of warning, you were tossed to your knees in front of the throne, clumsily catching yourself with your shackled hands, which echoed a ghostly metal clang through the throne room. You managed to look up with a turnt grimace and a huff of exhaled air rustled loose hair that obstructed your face. This reaction seemed to mildly interest the lead invader but not by much. He sat up in your father’s chair, adjusting himself to get a better view of you. 

“Prop her back up,” his voice reverberated off of the walls of your throne room, but still came across as quiet, strangely enough. The guard said as they were told, grabbing onto your shoulders and roughly pulling you up onto your knees. Ren watched with growing interest, though he still looked like he could yawn quite easily at any given moment. “You know why we’ve come, don’t you?” he gripped the arm of your father's chair as his eyes scanned down your kneeled form. 

“I assume this is all an act of love or unity,” you bit back bitterly. “However you’re presenting yourselves these days,” you took in a long, loud breath through your nose, eyeing the Master and the General with a burning hatred in the crinkle of your nose and furrow of your brow. You saw a flex in the General’s frown, but Ren smiled. It was small, but a smile was there. He even let go of a low chuckle. 

“I admire your moxie, high priestess,” he began. Your title rolled off his tongue in a sickeningly sweet tone that made your skin crawl. “But I must cut to my point, I’m afraid,” he sighed, growing board of you once more. 

“I’ve decided to let you live,” he continued. Your eyes widened for a millisecond, but you insisted on keeping your surprise hidden tight under wraps. You couldn’t let him think you were grateful to him without risking inflating his already mountain-like ego. “However, of course, there must be conditions,” you bit the inside of your cheek at that, holding your tongue. Now it was time for Hux to speak up, for he cleared his throat quite loudly to grab your attention from his superior. You’d already grown further irritated by the man’s weaselly face and screwed frown. 

“You will be confined to the palace grounds at all times unless chaperoned by Master Ren himself. You are to stay out of all diplomacy, again, unless asked of by Master Ren,” you grew flabbergasted by what you were hearing and scoffed rather loudly, stopping Hux as he licked his lips to list off the last of your conditions. 

“You want me as a figurehead!” you barked. You swore you could hear gasping muffled under stormtrooper helmets as her room hushed. The General gritted his teeth and gripped the hilt of his weapon tight in his hand as he strode down the staircase before you. 

“You wretched girl-” he started. You pressed your lips in a fine line, ready for some type of impact as you squeezed your eyes shut, but the impact never struck. You heard pained grunting and upon opening your eyes again, the General stood tall before you, sword only partly drawn from its hilt. 

But the man couldn’t move. He has been frozen where he stood. Your breath had quickened but you dared to look behind him, only to find Master Ren having stood from the throne, hand outstretched as he watched Hux with shakingly focused eyes. You swallowed thickly, eyes returning to Hux who looked like he might turn purple if he wasn’t allowed air soon. 

You’d never seen sorcery like this in your life but your father had told you animated stories back when you were just a girl. He regaled the days when magic like this had been loved and revered, seen as a thing of light and peace. You'd learned and read all about the original sorcerer's order and how they made it their mission to preserve life and balance. Yet over the years it had become tainted, resulting in tyrants like Ren and his new order. Hux was released and nearly collapsed to the ground at your knees, but he managed to hold himself. He averted his eyes as he caught his breath, coughing as he took in previously denied air. You thought that you could almost smell the embarrassment on him.

“Now, that’s no way to address our guest,” Ren said with a snide hint in his voice. It was clear that he enjoyed the opportunity to one-up and show off to his general. That made sense, if you thought about it. A tyrant’s primary goal is to impress those they find small and weak. And guest? You held your tone, but how dare he call you a guest when he was sitting proudly in your chair and your house? You let out a huffed breath as Hux turned tail and took his post once more. 

“But yes, a figurehead, if you will,” Ren lowered himself back to his seat, crossing his leg over his knee as he lounged. He waved his hand back to Hux, urging the general to continue as he continued to watch you curiously. The general readjusted his uniform, offered his superior a silent glare, and cleared his throat once more. 

“When you are not accompanying Ren, you will be escorted everywhere by the head of our guard, Captain Phasma,” Hux snapped his gloved hand and the aforementioned Captain seemed to emerge from the shadows of Ren and his newly claimed throne. The first thing you took note of was that the captain was tall. Even from the distance you were at, you knew they were tall. Taller than both Hux and Ren. but besides that, there was nothing else about them you could gather. They hid their face behind a similar helmet to the members of their guard, only their armor was forged from shining platinum, aiding in their standout-ish demeanor. 

“Phasma will watch your every move and report back any suspicious activity that she might find, so no point trying anything,” Hux hissed, trying so hard to buy back any respect you might have had for him before. You were more held up watching the statuelike captain, but you did ponder part of what the general has said. She. The captain that stood taller than both her superiors was a she. Now, this fact didn’t change anything, but it did peak the bit of curiosity you still harbored. 

“Any questions?” the weasel interjected back into your thoughts. You turned to him with your hardest stare, then trained your eyes back on Ren. 

“No,” 

“Then that will be all,” Hux answered for Ren and turned on his heels in a hurry to leave the throne room. “Captain, you may take your leave and escort the high priestess to her quarters” the guards still standing at your side grabbed your underarms without warning and hoisted you to your feet. The Captain began her descent down the stairs, her footsteps echoing louder as she approached. A small part of you wanted to squirm at the grips on your arms, but you held your ground, standing as tall as you could and taking deep breaths. The captain stopped just a stride in front of you, tilting her helmeted head to the side ever so slightly as though she was observing you. And who was to say she wasn’t? It was impossible to tell with the helmet after all.

“Shall we leave, high priestess?” Her voice was lower than you might have expected, yet you found the question more surprising. You must have expected a demand from her before being asked a question. You nodded, possibly having grown trimmed due to her stature in front of you, or maybe from the illusion of you having a choice at all. She nodded to the guards at your side, who released your arms and turned around. Before you turned with them, you caught sight of Ren, moving to leave the say way the General had. He watched you leave with hard eyes and his lips squeezed together momentarily, almost as though he had more to say. But time had run short and you were forced to leave with your new entourage.

[loveoaths]

i think about the droid/automaton temple guardians a lot. like--

they aren't alive, but they aren't not alive, either. they have varying degrees of sentience. they remember the jedi, some of them outlive the purge, knowing the jedi are gone save for whatever knowledge they've squirreled away in their memory banks.

cator, the droid guarding the jedi temple archives with jocasta nu, had a personality. he was serious about protecting and sheltering the jedi's knowledge and their history, so dedicated that he stood up to darth vader in an attempt to keep the list of force-sensitive children safe. sure, it was in his protocol to guard the archives, but he didn't have to care, or love it, or want to do this; we see many droids across star wars who do not give a single shit about their programmed duties, while still executing them.

but cator works hard, diligently and carefully, because cator loved his work, and he loved the jedi.

T0-B1 loved his jedi master so much! and his master loved him so much that he powered T0-B1 with the kyber crystal from his lightsaber! of course jedi wants to be a jedi. of course he wants to fight and protect and preserve life, not because he was programmed for it, because he wasn't, but because he wants to honor the man who gave his life to save him -- him, a "meaningless droid"!

then there are the tomb guardians on zeffo.

thousands upon thousands of years they've stood guard over the secrets of their creators, a species so powerful and gifted with the force that they were their own undoing. do the guardians know they're guarding tombs, or do they believe their masters will return some day from the other side of the veil, and the guardians will be there, waiting, stalwart sentinels ready to welcome them home? if they do know, did they mourn? could they have walked away from their posts but instead chose to stay, to keep the zeffo graves from being desecrated, because they'd rather the world forget their masters than allow them to suffer indignity?

did the guardians love the zeffo? surely they must have, without question.

the real question is: did the zeffo who whispered metal ore from the stone and gave them shape, gave them sentience, gave them purpose, love them back? they must have, in the way we all love the work of our hands.

but perhaps the most pressing question is:

long after their circuitry should have degraded, their power cores cracked and dripped empty, their shiny metal carapaces rusted off like so much disease -- what could it be that keeps these machines moving but their love for those who no longer exist anywhere but their memory?

how could you not love and be loved by something that made you, purposefully, in its image?????????

[hellotherekenobi]

Temptation’s Kiss.

Summary: the three times Obi-Wan almost kissed you and the one time he did.

Word Count: 6,762

Dedicated to my kid sister @kyber-crystal!! Love you!

CW/TW: Obi-Wan’s POV; super light angst but mostly fluff; mentions of blood & injury; my Clone OC makes a reappearance; I’m addicted to using Star Wars slang.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

As a Jedi, Obi-Wan is accustomed to rules. No attachments, keep the peace, and never give into the Dark Side. Simple enough and, as he believes, important rules to have. But after meeting you, he’s had to assert some of his own rules.

Don’t let this feeling fester, keep his composure, and most important of all don’t kiss you.

He’s never felt a temptation as strong as wanting to do something so dangerous since knowing you. He’s been angry before—vengeful, even—but this was something entirely more difficult to withstand. It would be so easy, like nothing at all, to simply lean forward and press his lips to yours, but—no! He can’t.

He won’t.

Just, Maker please, stop giving him those eyes.

It’s not even deliberate, that’s the issue. You have no idea how that look of yours makes Obi-Wan’s knees weak. How butterflies start swarming in the pit of his stomach the moment you look at him from under your lashes with parted lips. Maker, he’s losing himself.

The moment itself isn’t tempting, which makes this harder. He wasn’t exactly expecting for his heart to lurch out of his chest when you stepped closer to him. All he had done was hold your lightsaber out to you when you were about to leave the training room without it. You walked over to him quickly, thanked him under your breath, and as soon as your fingers touched the hilt and his skin, you gave him that soul-dividing look.

He could split in half having you look at him like that. You whisper his name and that isn’t helping in the slightest, especially as he’s lost his breath and so no reply can form even if he wants one to.

Don’t you know that you’re tearing him from the inside out with just your eyes?

Finally, you speak. “You’re always looking out for me.”

That brings him down from whatever numbered cloud he was perched upon, now swallowing enough to gain his voice. “Well, you really shouldn’t lose this.”

“I know,” you smile. “You’d kill me.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s me who you’d have to worry about.”

Obi-Wan nods his head up and you hold his gaze for a moment, totally cheerful, before turning around to see he motioned over at Master Yoda down the hallway; not near enough to hear or, probably, see you both, but still there.

“You’re right about that, I’m afraid,” chuckling, you look back at him and the wind is knocked from him again. “All the more agreeable for you since I bested you in our match.”

“Now, hold on,” he wags a finger and you laugh. “You said best two out of three.”

“I did.”

“That was two. You’ve yet to beat me a third time.”

“Ah, but, Obi-Wan,” you step nearer to him. “You just admitted I’ve beaten you twice already.”

His heart is pounding in his chest and he’s worried it’s going to make an ugly splatter down his robes if you catch him off guard one more time. Around you, he feels boyish. He finds himself irrational and blushing. Maker, hopefully you never catch the tint on his cheeks. Though, he must thank you; he’s never smiled so much before since knowing you.

And you seem to always be smiling at him, too. He does hope that it’s not all in his head, though. He really hopes that incandescent smile of yours is meant for him.

“Well,” he gradually finds his voice. “It would be rather foolish of me not to recognize your skill.”

“My thoughts exactly,” you glow, reaching forward to straighten the fold in his tunic.

Please don’t feel how fast his heart is beating. Please.

“A match for another time, though,” you draw your hand back. “I’m already late as it is.”

Obi-Wan nods, placing a hand where yours just was. Only briefly to feel the warmth there. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Of course, you will,” there’s laughter on your lips, shaking your head at him giddily.

He might cave in at just the sound alone. You’re so ethereal, so golden. Every room is lit up by you and he finds himself like a moth drawn to a flame. Curious and wondering how it might feel to burn himself. Would he taste your laughter amongst the blaze?

Your hand catches his wrist, squeezing gently. “Meet me here at sundown.”

“Of course,” he says, though what he means is anything for you.

Stable breath finally leaves his lungs when you happily turn out of the room, walking fast down the hallway. He’s too eager about seeing you again this evening that he knows his attention will be less than usual as he goes about his errands for the day.

Still, distracted by you is not a bad way to spend his time.

It’s bashful to admit that his thoughts are mostly occupied by you, regardless. For a Jedi with a Code to follow, the mere thought of you is much an effective motivator.

But he’s always been this way. Whether he likes it or not, Obi-Wan knows that he’s a hopeless romantic. It comes in many forms—some with how beautiful he sees such things like nature, the ocean, and the stars, and some with moments like younglings laughing on the grass, or a brother reaching out a hand for support. Many things he romanticizes. It just so happens that amongst all things, you’re the one his heart is set on.

The training room looks much different in a sunlit glow; everything casted over in deep orange. The morning felt cool, but there’s a warmth here now as the sun begins to dip beneath the horizon.

He’s been idly swinging the hilt of his lightsaber back and forth, eyes focused on the sunset. Too deep in thought to feel the presence behind him, though he should feel it, that he jumps a fraction when your hand meets his shoulder.

And dear Maker, you’re laughing at him again.

“You’re prepared this time?” Says you, smiling at him with a hint of sarcasm to your words.

Obi-Wan bows some, just enough to have you chuckling.

“Oh, yes. The question is, are you?”

“I suppose we’ll find out,”

Your cloak is thrown over to the side where Obi-Wan’s already lies and you’re stepping to your spot on the floor, watching him eagerly as you extend your lightsaber and it ignites ablaze. He grins at your enthusiasm and within a breath, you’re at each other.

It probably shouldn’t be something he admits to himself, but Obi-Wan quite enjoys sparring with you. There’s a thrill in the way the two of you reflect and deflect each other. An enticing energy of knowing that either of you won’t actually strike the other, though it’s possible. A tempestuous feeling of being close.

Almost like a dance, you and Obi-Wan spin around each other, outstretching hands, dipping beneath the other, and flowing like water until one of you acts the rock that stops the movement.

His boot catches your calf in a childish manner of comically tripping you, yet it’s at such an angle that your whole body tips forward, dropping with the weight of how his action hinders your stability.

If you were Anakin, in all honesty, Obi-Wan would have let you fall. But you’re gasping at the drop and he feels frantic to prevent you from hurting yourself, so he dips quicker than you fall to catch you in his arms. Hastily, however, that he loses his footing in the process and you’re both smacking against the tiles of the training room, your lightsabers retracted and rolling toward the wall.

The only fortune in that is how Obi-Wan goes tumbling first, effectively cushioning your fall straight onto his chest. But his head knocks against the floor, not enough to cause a contusion, but enough to make a sound that has your hand flying straight to the base of his neck from behind.

“Oh,” you worry, eyes direct on him. “Are you alright?”

He offers a smile, though there’s a throbbing in his head now.

“I’m fine. Are you?”

“Well, you caught me before I could be the one to smack my head against the floor, so, yes.”

Obi-Wan hums. “I might be regretting that now.”

There’s a slight huff to your smile as you help him sit straight, still close enough that at least some part of him is touching you. In this case, his legs are against your hips as you peer over his shoulder, your fingers still at the base of his neck and now flittering through his hair.

“I don’t feel a bump,” you say, inspecting the hurt area.

He wonders why you don’t sit behind him, since you’re practically draped over his shoulder at this point.

“Aren’t you lucky?”

You mean in reference to the fact that his head isn’t swelling but his mind nags at him that it’s because he’s able to touch you so closely.

“How come you dove for me?” You ask, sitting back to look him in the eyes. “You would have won if you let me fall.”

“Well,” he swallows. “I was hardly playing fair.”

“True, but,” you’re whispering now, “that doesn’t answer my question.”

His answer, if he were to be honest, would be hazardous. To tell you that he cares for you so deeply that even in a friendly match he would risk his own safety just to assure yours would not only speak of the secret to you but go against the Code he’s been following since before he can remember.

“Truth be told,” he starts. “I don’t want to be responsible for the injury of a fellow Jedi.”

“Ah,” you chuckle. “So, you were saving your skin.”

“And hurt my skin in the process.”

You give him a sympathetic smile, rubbing again at his head. His hair’s a mess, surely, if not by the fall then by how keenly he was sparring. Wisps along his forehead, no longer combed back as neatly as he does every morning. You don’t seem to mind, though.

In fact, you’re quite intent on soothing his pain. When Obi-Wan realizes that’s all you’ve been doing for the last minute, he brings a hand up to your own still in his hair and he gently rubs at your skin with his thumb, hoping that the gesture enough will stir you awake from whatever thought you’re buried in.

It does nothing. No, actually, you give him an even softer smile. This time, looking him in the eyes. It makes his heart do a summersault in his chest when it suddenly dawns on him that you’re both sat on the floor, legs pressed against each other, your hand in his hair and his hand on yours, and neither of you seem content to move.

His temptations are flooring him again and Obi-Wan is reminding himself of the rules he’s made, but that prior feeling is so much more powerful and even more harder to resist.

The air feels thinner and he thinks the only solution be your lips, if he were to press his own against them he might be able to breathe. He’s tipping, similar to when he caught you, instead this time he’s leaning for your touch, close to tearing down those rules of his.

Except just the mere mention of the rules, now more tangible as he watches you lean as well, gives him enough reason to stop himself before he starts. Though, he desperately wants to give in. Yet, he’s in the Jedi Temple of all places! This, as much as it is craved by his heart, is something he can’t let himself risk.

He places a hand on your shoulder before he can fall into it anymore, giving you a smile to ward away any confusion. Not that you were truly leaning into him, though. He must have been imagining it.

“Perhaps another time,” he says, meaning the fight but slipping the forbidden kiss between the words as well.

He’s assured no harm is done when you smile at him in reply, but there’s that glint in your eyes he knows too well.

“I won’t fall next time, Obi-Wan. I assure you that.”

Believe it, he’s already fallen.

─────── ⋯ ───────

As much as Obi-Wan is a fighter, he can’t deny that he rather enjoys quiet days. Such as now where he sits with his friends on a sunny afternoon, overlooking the gardens of Naboo.

Granted, it was a mission which was his reason for being here in the first place, but it was rather easy and with so many helpful hands it was sorted by lunch time. Padmé, ever the gracious host, insisted everyone stay for something to eat and when he felt his stomach growl at the mere mention of food, Obi-Wan couldn’t say no.

Anakin is sitting next to Padmé on his left and across on the other side is you and Riggs, a brave clone trooper and friend. Obi-Wan has always relished in the sound of your laughter, even feeling quite accomplished when he makes you smile, so your joy is something contagious as Riggs tells another one of his infamous stories.

“You’re always getting yourself into trouble,” you chuckle, nudging Riggs in the shoulder.

He laughs, brows raising in defense.

“Me?” He counters. “Says you, sparky. Should I tell everyone about our time on Bar’leth?”

Obi-Wan doesn’t miss the way you flare at that, shaking your head at Riggs in what is most likely supposed to be a subtle motion but it’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention.

Your reaction only seems to spur Riggs on, who smiles wider than a Cheshire cat.

“I don’t think I’ve heard that one,” Anakin pitches in, leaning on the table with his elbow. “Care to share?”

“No,” you shake your head, looking from Riggs to Anakin. “It’s a very boring story, honestly.”

“Let them be the judge of that,” Riggs nudges your arm like you had done to him earlier. “It started off as a basic recon mission. We were going to spend the night when—”

“Riggs.”

He’s chuckling at your attempts to shut him up and Obi-Wan, silently watching the whole thing, starts to get this fire burning in the pit of his stomach that he’s not used to.

“The night?” He asks, cautiously. “Together?”

“Oh, yeah,” Riggs nods, facing Obi-Wan and gesturing with his hands. “Have you seen the way this one sleeps? Trust me, I’ve got pictures—”

The rest of his sentence gets swallowed down with the slice of cake you suddenly shove into his mouth, muffling whatever else he was ready to say.

“Have you tried the cake?” You ask, voice spikey. “I think the cake is delicious. Anyone want a piece?”

Padmé and Anakin are laughing, happily accepting your offer for some dessert. Riggs chuckles through a cough when he tries to consume the cake piece in his mouth in one gulp, and you’re slapping down on his back to help him but your lips are drawn in a tight line and Riggs makes a noise of pain.

“Obi-Wan?” Comes your voice, eyes on him.

He’s startled out of his trance—having been so focused on the way that despite the story you don’t want told, you’ve moved closer to Riggs—and finds himself confused on why you’ve called his name.

You smile, gesturing down at the table. “Do you want some cake?”

“Oh,” he breathes out, shaking his head. “No, thank you. I couldn’t eat another thing. I think I’ll go for a walk.”

“Now?” Anakin asks, eyeing his master with that brotherlike inspection. “Where are you going?”

“Just around,”

It’s more so a rushed answer as he excuses himself from the table, turning on his heel and ignoring the gazes set on him by everyone who watches him leave.

Being quick about it is probably not the best as hastiness, especially when running from something, is a clear identifier of offense. But he had to get away, strangely. That fiery feeling in his stomach grew too hot when he saw how cozy you and Riggs were sitting beside each other, and it felt like the flames were going to spill out from his mouth.

He’s never felt like this before. It’s scary, for one thing, that he can even experience a feeling that isn’t in his vocabulary, though there’s a storm over his head that tells him exactly what it is he just felt and why exactly he pushed himself away from the scene.

Though he flees, Obi-Wan does admire the Naboo gardens as he walks. Everything here is so vibrant; the water, the grass, the flowers, the fruit, the tastes and smells. If Obi-Wan convinces himself enough, he can believe this planet to be paradise.

Even so, it seems he can’t be alone for long.

“Obi-Wan,” he hears you call, and acting the fool, he runs.

Not as if he were being chased, but just quick enough to dip behind the large hedge and hide himself.

He sees you a moment later, walking down the path he was on a moment before with a small plate in your hand and a slice of cake sitting on it. Oh, how his heart melts at the sight of you.

What he thinks is going to happen is that you’ll look around, find him nowhere in sight, and keep on walking, or return to the others. At first, he thinks he’s correct as you stop in your place and look around the garden. But then you huff, something irritated, and march over to the hedge he’s crouched behind, shoving a fist through the foliage that meets him on the other side.

“Ow!” He cries, rubbing at his chest where you punched him.

“I knew you were there,” you say, stepping around it to face him. “Why did you hide?”

Obi-Wan pouts at the ache in his chest. You can land one hell of a punch.

“I wanted to be alone,” he says, not missing the way there’s a crease forming between your brows.

“Sorry,” you say it so softly, it almost breaks his heart. “You left so suddenly, I thought something must be wrong. So, I brought you a slice.”

Now, Obi-Wan feels guilty. All that surge of emotions prompted him to speak without really thinking first.

“I appreciate it,” he says, stepping forward to take the plate from your hand.

He doesn’t get ahold of it, though, as your hand grabs his wrist, pulling him alongside you as you walk across the garden. He’s stammering, asking you what you’re doing, but you just lead him with you over to a bench under a blossoming canopy, sitting down with a huff.

The plate is placed down beside you and to Obi-Wan’s dismay it is on the furthest side.

“You know you can tell me anything,” you say.

It’s truthful and Obi-Wan knows it, nodding with what you say. But he can’t find the words to tell you what’s on his mind. Or, rather, what’s on his heart. That’s the most embarrassing of all. The fire he felt is something he doesn’t want to utter aloud, but knows its reasoning. He’d rather keep it concealed.

When it seems you grow impatient at his silence, you shuffle toward him, sitting closer, and hold your hands out.

“Come on,” you wave them. “Meditate with me.”

Meditating sounds a lovely respite, however, he knows where his thoughts are heading. This will make matters worse, especially if you manage to hear him.

“No, thank you. I’m afraid I’m far from focused right now. I just needed some air.”

“While we sat outside?” Your brow raises with the tone of your voice, eyeing him suspiciously. “No cake, no meditating, and giving me some bantha fodder excuse... what’s wrong, really?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “You shouldn’t say that.”

Not like he’s been much of a saint with his vocabulary but, still, there is a matter of propriety he’s trying to maintain.

It doesn’t deter you, though. You sigh, reaching for him again. This time, holding his arms, leaning forward like you’re trying to peek behind his eyelids.

“Was it something I did?”

“No,” he’s quick to say it. “No, not you. That’s impossible.”

You smile at him, short and prideful. “Then how can I make things better, Obi-Wan? How can I help you?”

Everything you say sounds so beautiful, so tempting. If he knew there’d be no repercussions, he’d fall right into you. He’d let you hold him, knowing that even something as simple as that can cure him from his unnecessary saddling.

What he wants from you will not help him, though he wants to give into it. You’re so close to him again like that evening in the training room and he finds himself falling into what could be described as nostalgia even though the memory is not that far away.

He feels drawn-in again, a buzzing on his lips in yearning to press them against your own. Maker, you’re looking at him with those deep eyes and he’s losing his sense of control once more. The atmosphere aids in sweltering those feelings even more, sitting in such a romantic setting.

Moving does nothing to deter himself, he realizes. As soon as he shifts slightly, his hands drawing down your arms to settle in place where your hands are on him, he finds the space between you is more minimal than what it should be.

He wants to. He really wants to. But he knows he can’t.

“You can do me one favor,” he says, and your alertness is admirable. “Pass me the cake?”

You laugh, leaning backward when he says it and he’s freed from the closeness you both shared. With a smile on your lips, Obi-Wan understands how the fire in his stomach ignited from the way he loves making you laugh and, apparently, hates it when someone else can do it better than he can.

“If it helps,” you shake your head, picking up the plate, “then I’ll happily save you a slice.”

He’s done the same for you. Not with cake, but with his heart.

─────── ⋯ ───────

Dark clouds are swirling in the sky as the rain pours down heavily, almost making it hard to see. Obi-Wan is growing tired of running but he knows he can’t stop. Not unless he wants to be captured. Not unless he ever wants to see you again.

Getting ambushed on a mission is not exactly top five of the things Obi-Wan likes to experience, but being in the thick of it was simply his style. Where else would he be, really, if not right where it’s all happening, right in the danger?

Anakin was somewhere with Rex and Ahsoka, aiding one side of the battle, while Obi-Wan and yourself were fighting on this side. In the height of all of it, though, you both were separated. He knows you can handle yourself but he can’t help from worrying. After all, even in a playful spar, he’s making sure you don’t get hurt.

He’s fortunate enough to find coverage somewhere secluded, away from any prying eyes. Fortunate to catch his breath as he slides his lightsaber against his hip, leaning his head on the pillar and seeing his breath fanning in the air by how cold it is.

He knows he can’t stay here long. He needs to keep moving, otherwise they’ll find him. It’s not the best place to hide, anyhow, as the only thing keeping him from being seen is this pillar, and the rain is wafting down to where he is that he’s still getting wet. Less than standing under the sky, but not enough to bother wiping his brow.

There’s a pressure in the air before he sees a face, but he knows it’s coming quick enough to get his hand prepped on his lightsaber hilt, one move from drawing it.

Then, “Obi-Wan,”

It’s your voice and he turns to watch you slink behind the pillar further down, each pillar standing in a line, pressing your back up against it.

“Thank the stars,” he says under his breath, turning to lean on his shoulder. “Are you hurt?”

You shake your head. “No. Are you?”

“No more than usual.”

When you raise your brow at him, he chuckles. It’s short-lived due to the tightness in his chest from having run for so long, still breathing heavily.

Same as him, you’re soaked from head to toe. You attempt to squeeze some water out of your robes but with the rain sweeping past the pillars, it doesn’t do much. With a sigh, you seem to also be delaying to rest, even for a short moment.

“So much for an easy mission,” you shake your head.

Obi-Wan grins. “Are they ever?”

“I suppose you’re right. Oh—” you click your fingers and he doesn’t fear the noise, knowing that the rain is covering up your voices. “What about Naboo? That was a piece of cake.”

He stares at you a moment, furrowing his brows some. There’s a chuckle ready to pour out from his mouth at any second, but it’s holding its place as he ponders.

“Was that a pun?” He asks.

You smile, ever so eagerly. “Of course.”

He lets the chuckle die, not necessarily being a big fan of puns, much to the dismay of one Anakin Skywalker.

“Well,” he confesses, “it’s nice to know you still have your sense of humor in situations like this.”

“And I’ve still got you.”

He smiles some, watching the droplets of water running down your face. It instinctually has him wiping at his forehead.

“As I have you.” He says.

You nod, peering behind the pillar. “Always.”

It won’t always be like this, though. Will it? Times change and Obi-Wan has known them to change pretty quickly, so he can’t help but wonder how long this will last, whatever this is. He hates to think that you only see him as a friend or a fellow Jedi and nothing more when he sees you like the sun on a cloudy day.

What he would give for some sun right now. When this mission is over, he fears he’ll get a cold.

“Have you seen the others?” He asks, hopeful that you’ve accomplished more than him.

“Only from when we landed,” you tell him. “But Ahsoka reached me by comlink. They’ve almost swept their area so I told her to meet us here, then I came and found you.”

“Good thinking,” he breathes out, finally regaining a normal rhythm with the beating in his chest.

There’s a kick of wind amidst the storm and a plentiful amount of rain comes splashing past the pillars and crashing onto the ground by both your feet. It makes you jump, stepping to the side of the pillar you were hiding behind.

“This rain is relentless!” You cry, looking down at all the water that leaves a giant puddle. “My boots are soaked. I’ll have to get some new ones—”

Water doesn’t pour past the pillars this time but instead gunfire does. A singular shot cuts through the rain, nipping your arm and you yelp, and then the rest of the cavalry seemingly arrive as more and more shots are fired where you are standing out in the open.

Obi-Wan manages to spring into action after the first shot, luckily, and grabs ahold of the arm closest to him, tugging you over to his pillar and right up against his body, where he shields the sides of you with his arms.

The gunfire doesn’t cease and you flinch, burying your face into his robes. He can only think to hold onto you tightly so that not even an inch of yourself is peeking past the pillar, in order that you don’t get shot at again.

When the attacks quieten, leaving just the downpour to fill up the empty space, Obi-Wan tightens a hand on your shoulder.

“Looks like you were followed,” he grumbles, though he knows it’s not your fault.

Your hands go from resting on his chest to gripping tightly onto his arms, risking a glance to the side in what Obi-Wan assumes is trying to find where the gunfire came from.

“Mother of Kwath!” You rage. “I was so careful too.”

He feels it in him to berate you for using that kind of speech yet again, but decides better of it.

“No use fretting on the past,” Obi-Wan says, one hand drawing to your back. “How bad is it?”

Your face contours into concentration, looking like you’re trying to number the amount of soldiers adjacent to where you both stand. Any freedom the two of you had to spring back into action is gone now. At the moment, you’re cornered.

“I can only make out the front line,” you groan, slinking in his arms. “There’s a lot of them, though.”

Obi-Wan hums. “Let’s hope that the others come quickly. But I was asking about your arm.”

You glance up at him, paused for a moment, like what he said comes as a complete shock to you, if only for the second after he said it.

“Oh,” looking down at your arm, you shrug. “It’s a scratch.”

“Really?”

Obi-Wan’s hand at your shoulder comes down to rest at the reddened area on your arm, undoubtedly where the blood is seeping through from the gunshot wound. He’s gentle as he peels back the cut in your robes, now singed, to inspect the area.

True as you said, it’s essentially a scratch. But it must have nicked you more than what he thought it did since it’s bleeding quite heavily. Nothing a bandage won’t fix, yet it’s there.

“Your verdict?” You ask him.

For the first time since he grabbed you, he realizes just how close the two of you are. Looking into your eyes feels as if walking into a trap, and the words get lodged in his throat as you watch him under your lashes.

You really, really don’t know what that look does to him.

“You’ll live,” he says, though he thinks he’s dying.

Even more so when the gunfire kicks up again and you’re stepping closer on instinct, same as he with wrapping his arms around you, and with the jump you both make, your noses touch.

The firing and rain might as well fade into the background, that’s how focused Obi-Wan is on you right now. There’s a voice in the back of his head, screaming at him to pay attention, you idiot! But he’s so far gone. So far gone. There’s no hope in coming back from this now.

He feels your hands climb his shoulders, one on the back of his neck and the other at his cheek, and he shivers as if the cold is what makes him do that.

“Obi-Wan,” you speak. “There might not be a next time.”

He’s fearful for a moment that you’ve just heard his thoughts, or that he isn’t wearing as good a poker face as he believed. But that can’t be what you mean. Going out in a blaze of glory, surely, is what exactly you meant by those words.

Though he thinks they’ll haunt him for the rest of his life if you both make it out of here alive.

Which, so happens, turns out to be very possible as a flash of blue comes from behind the pillar and moments later, Ahsoka’s head is peeking around the corner.

“Let’s go, you two.” She says with a curious eye.

You’re out of his arms within a second, running behind Ahsoka to jump into the fight.

Obi-Wan, on the other hand, has to give himself a moment to breathe before he can pretend like he wasn’t just about to break one of his rules he so adamantly set up.

─────── ⋯ ───────

It’s been two weeks since the mission in the rain and Obi-Wan has been steadfast in taking every single mission thereafter that can put some distance between himself and you.

Even outside of the Order, if you and the others were going to spend time together, he’d give a curt “no, thank you” and some daft excuse and be as far away as possible from wherever everyone was going.

Maybe it’s a cowardly thing to do, since essentially Obi-Wan is running away, but with the temptations behind him already he feels like this is the only solution.

Anakin has asked about it, though. Ever the persistent friend, trying to uncover whatever Obi-Wan is hiding from him. He gets the same response every time—“There’s a war, Anakin.”—but none of it seem to deter him for very long.

Slowly, one by one, more people began to speak out about Obi-Wan’s behavior. Even Riggs. That was not a fun conversation. You too have tried to talk to him about it but he’s quick to make sure that you both have little to no interaction whatsoever, even if that means being a little harsh about it.

So, understandably, people were going to figure it out. Padmé, Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex, Cody, and Riggs have actually managed to talk to him. But you, on the other hand, have been evaded at every turn. Yes, it was obvious and everyone caught onto it. Now, Obi-Wan stays away from anyone he can (which doesn’t work well when you have Jedi duties to do.)

One day it happens. Obi-Wan is walking through the hangar bay to get to a ship for yet another solo missioned he accepted—though he really begged for it—and you’re waiting for him at the door of the vehicle, arms crossed and gaze set like stone against him.

Caraya’s Soul, you look scary like that.

He tries to play it casually, but in reality he’s beginning to sweat.

“Hello there,” he says, putting on a smile.

You don’t so much as grin at him. The ice cold front is not something he’s been a victim to with you before, and he pities whoever has.

“Let’s not dance around this, Obi-Wan.” Even your voice is far from cheerful. “Why are you avoiding me?”

The one thing he didn’t plan for, he now realizes, is the confrontation. He’s been running even from that.

“I’m sorry if you feel that way, but I promise I’ve only been doing my duty to the Order. I sometimes devote all my attention to it.”

Obi-Wan knows that’s the oldest lie in the book and it’s one of the most heartless lies as well, since he’s essentially flipping the blame onto you and hoping that you’ll take it and leave.

But you’re more persistent than that and Obi-Wan knows this, with the exception of you leaning off of the ship and stepping directly in front of him.

“You’re a kriffing liar, Obi-Wan.”

“You really shouldn’t say—”

“You’re ignoring me and I want to know why!”

That’s the most angered you’ve ever been around him and what hurts him is that he’s the one you’re angry at. He theorized that with his relentless avoidance that you could be upset, sad mostly, but angry wasn’t something he thought he’d come up against.

So, he does what he knows has worked so far. He runs away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says it like he’s offended, stepping around you. “You’re imagining things.”

Your hand reaches out and grabs him by the arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“Stop lying to me, Obi-Wan. I know you better than you think and I can tell something’s wrong, and I can tell it’s to do with me.”

There’s hurt in your voice and Obi-Wan wants to wrap you in his arms like he caught you during training, or when he wanted to hold your hands in the Naboo gardens, or when he held you to him behind the pillar. All reasons why he wants to run to you and all reasons why he ran from you in the first place.

“We were so close,” you say. “What happened?”

He’s reminded of just how many good times there have been with you. All the times you both spent together—training, fighting alongside each other, drinking Jawa Juice in the silent hours of the morning when both of you should be asleep, and how with every joke he’d tell, you’d hold onto his arm like you haven’t heard anything funnier.

The grip you have on his arm now is not as pleasant as those times, though. He can feel it from your veins to his that you’re desperate.

“Let me in, Obi-Wan.” You whisper, turning toward him. “Won’t you, please?”

He’ll slip, he knows he will, if he lets you talk to him like that. He’ll fall even harder and ignore that voice in his head even more just from one look from you. Without so much as knowing it, you can reel him in by the simple gestures alone.

He can’t let himself get tangled in this. As the wielder of a blue lightsaber, he has to guard himself. Protect his heart from the dangers of loving you.

Pressing his hand down firmly on yours still holding tight to his arm, he pulls you off of him.

“There’s nothing to say.”

He sees your heart break when you frown at him, as if he threw the words right at you.

“Why are you doing this?” Your question presses him and there’s a waver to your voice that almost shatters him.

He sighs, aching through his bones. “I have to go.”

“Don’t hide from me,”

“There’s much I have to do—”

“You’re hurting my feelings.”

He groans within himself, screwing his eyes shut. “I mean no harm, I promise.”

“Then tell me I don’t matter.”

At once, his eyes open and he sees the damage he’s truly done. You’re crying silently, waiting for him to make it worse. The determination he had to rid your mark on him goes melting away to the floor, content on dissolving beneath his feet.

All the strength he has feels like it’s failing him. He can’t stay but he can’t bear to go. He’s splitting apart, ripping rigidly into two shapes he won’t be able to recognize once they separate.

Is it even possible that he can remain a whole without you in his life?

There is not even an ounce of him that can say the words you want him to speak, even if it’s a lie. Simply saying it would do more damage to him than you can possibly imagine.

He shakes his head. “I can’t do that.”

You raise your chin, frustrations seeping into the sadness of your gaze. “No, I want you to say it.”

“Why would you want that?”

“Because if you say it then I’ll let you leave.”

You’re tearing him apart with this, digging your fingers into his flesh. There is not an inch of him that detests you so, not even some part of him that finds one attribute of yours less than lovely. You’re everything to him.

“I can’t just let you go,” you say, lips trembling. “Because I love you too much. I have to hear you say that I don’t matter so that I don’t hold on for an explanation you’ll never tell.”

A weight drops on him, direct on his chest. It pushes and pushes and he loses his breath.

“You love me?”

The question feels so boyish but you look so sure, and it’s enough for him to forget every warning he’s ever told himself.

“I’ve always loved you.” You tell him.

That’s enough, he thinks, to break the dam. Nothing could penetrate his armor, he once thought, but you’ve done it with gentle fingers. With one touch, he dispels like smoke and with it go his rules.

He does what he held himself back from doing before, three times already. Obi-Wan reaches out, his hand on your cheek, and he leans closer than the two of you have ever been and he kisses you, deeply, sweetly, and achingly. He kisses you with sincerity. He kisses you with all the might he has remaining.

His affections pulse between your lips, flowing like electricity enough to spark you awake. Instantly, your arms are wrapped around him, pushing enough to make the space between you burst. It shatters so that only you two remain.

Obi-Wan kisses you now, knowing he’ll kiss you again tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day he knows he’ll spend the rest of his life with you, burying his lightsaber in the sand.

Taglist: @penfullofwordsaheadfullofstories @alwayssleepingforreal @immoral-rose @bloodybunnyuwu @nagitokomaeda-onthe-nintendo-ds @the-mandalorian-clone-lover @princessxkenobi @mythandmagik @i-cant-hear-you16 @pradahux @inukako @whyiminlove @cosmicsierra @dxnxdjarxn @voidmalfoy @darthkenobii @iamtracyz @chogisss @nectav @disastereyebags @hellolitty @stareyeddie @liviiii98 @dameronology @overly-obssessed-with-you @onewholikesthings @shadowhuntyi @greeneyedblondie44 @doublesunsets @night-ace @mkr31011

[tennessoui]

1,2,7,10,13 for obikin

i've gotten other asks for 1, 2, 10, and 13, so here's 7!! (also i need you to know I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out if I could make a story work that involved obikin as childhood friend (2) soulmates (1) who enter a fake relationship (7) during high school (10) before they meet again later as co-stars (13)

7. Fake Relationship AU (canonverse)(1.3k)

This is getting a tad ridiculous, even Anakin can admit it.

The first time had been purely instinctive. He and Obi-Wan had been sent on an undercover mission to a small moon port to track a recent Grievous sighting. They’d landed and gone to the bunk to grab their packs. WIth no fanfare and no warning, their ship had been boarded for inspection by a group of pirates with datapads calling themselves administrative guards.

Anakin had heard the footsteps, had decided they were too close to effectively hide the hilt of his lightsaber left on his bunk, had decided the only course of action was to hide it by pushing Obi-Wan on top of it, and landing on top of him, mouth attaching itself to the side of his neck and biting down hard enough to draw a yelp from his poor, confused Master. Anakin had moaned over exaggeratedly in response. Thankfully, Obi-Wan had understood fast enough when the sound of a blaster charging fills the room at the door. He’d blushed a very fetching--and convincing--shade of crimson.

“Get up,” one of the pirates had said.

“I, ah, can’t--” Obi-Wan had stuttered in reply, rolling his hips up a bit in emphasis. Anakin had been trying not to lose his mind. This had been his Force-damned idea after all.

The pirates had taken a look around the ship--all up to mission standards except for the lightsaber Obi-Wan had been laying on--and disembarked, saying something very derogatory about the pair of them.

“Sorry,” Anakin had said, flinging himself backward. “I panicked.”

“Right,” Obi-Wan had said, straightening his robes. “Let’s just never mention it again.”

But then it kept happening.

Obi-Wan, two months later, had pushed him against the wall of a club and covered his mouth with his own when their suspect had walked past them, looking suspiciously at the other club-goers.

A couple of weeks after that, Anakin had declared them to be married for no other reason than to get a woman to stop flirting so openly with Obi-Wan. The man had gotten his revenge a few days later when he had placed his arm around Anakin in the middle of a diplomatic dinner, and Anakin had choked on his food.

(“It makes us seem more approachable,” Obi-Wan had admitted later that evening. “To be in love. It humanizes us, puts people at ease, makes them more inclined to listen to what we say.”

“Yeah,” Anakin, who was incapable of listening to anything Obi-Wan told him while they were touching, had said. “Totally.”)

Okay. So it quickly got out of hand. But Anakin found himself craving the casual intimacy that had sprung up between the pair of them after months of pretending in public, even if it proved to be a dangerous thing to get used to.

For example:

After a year of pretending to be lovers at any given moment, they had been lounging on the couch in their quarters at the Temple. Ahsoka had come in. She’d looked at the way Anakin’s head had been centered in Obi-Wan’s lap, his fingers scratching through his hair as they both studied separate datapads. He’d even been humming under his breath. “Do you want to tell me something? Are you guys together?” she’d asked, voice raised in incredulity.

And Anakin had panicked, sitting up fast enough that he hits Obi-Wan’s chin with the top of his head, causing the man to let out a pained groan as he bit his tongue. And instinctively, because Anakin could not be expected to have a nice thing and not break it, after months of saying the same thing over and over in reply to the same question, he’d said, “We’re married!”

“We are not!” Obi-Wan had corrected him loudly and immediately as Anakin had buried his head in his hands in sheer despair and embarrassment.

It all comes to a head in the most unexpected of ways: quietly.

On a hostile planet deemed necessary to remain in the Republic, Obi-Wan and Anakin greet the dignitary at the palace gates. She seems already distrustful and disdainful, which is unfair seeing as how Anakin hasn’t even said anything yet. “Master Kenobi, if you will follow Servant Kawul to your quarters, I will take Master Skywalker to his.”

Anakin doesn’t like the sound of that, moving closer to Obi-Wan automatically. “We’d prefer to stay together,” he says as calmly as possible. It would be of no use to the negotiations if these people thought Anakin was no more of a youngling with separation anxiety.

“I’m afraid that’s quite inappropriate,” the dignitary responds with a sniff. “We allow only bonded partners to share quarters, and I see no bite mark on either of you. Unless it is hidden beneath your clothes?”

Anakin blushes at the mental image of Obi-Wan biting him anywhere, let alone beneath his clothes. “We are bonded though,” he says stubbornly, refusing to look at his Master. They’ve been careful to put some distance between themselves since the whole Ahsoka debacle, had instead acted like consummate professionals. It had made Anakin feel terribly empty, though he had no words to try to figure out why.

“Jedi do not bond through claiming bites but rather mental ties and our kyber crystals,” Obi-Wan steps in, lying fluidly as his hand comes up to rest against Anakin’s back. Immediately, Anakin relaxes until the touch. This is what had been so terribly missing, Obi-Wan's hands on Anakin's body.

“Your kyber crystals?”

“Oh yes,” Obi-Wan nods as if he’s not making this load of bantha shit up on the spot. “We use them to power our lightsabers. The crystals of a bonded Jedi pair sing the same song, for we are bonded at the soul. A bond that runs much deeper than that of the flesh.”

Anakin nods as seriously as he can when the dignitary looks over at him, but thankfully she doesn’t ask him to speak because he doesn’t think he’d be able to right now. He’s having a series of rather important and distinct realizations.

He thinks he might be in love with Obi-Wan Kenobi, and no one bothered to tell him about it.

“Very well,” she says, even though she doesn’t look happy about it. “Follow me then.”

As soon as they’re safely in their rooms and the woman is gone, Anakin whips out his lightsaber and powers it on. The familiar ringing of his kyber crystal echoes in the Force around him. Obi-Wan is carefully avoiding making eye contact with him, but his saber jumps into Anakin’s hand as soon as Anakin calls for it.

How has Anakin never noticed how special that was? How intimate? Has Ahsoka ever used Anakin’s saber? Has she ever been able to take it off of his person with no fight from the blade?

He flicks on the saber he knows as well as his own and listens to their songs in the Force. They’re not identical, but Anakin had known they wouldn’t be. Two crystals--two souls--could never be the same. But: “They harmonize,” he says with something like wonder in his voice. Of course they do. Of course they would. Of course every part of Anakin’s soul would fit perfectly in line with the edges and dips of Obi-Wan’s.

He turns them off and tosses them to the side so he can look at Obi-Wan, who’s standing defensively with his hands clasped together and hidden in his Jedi robes, something he only does when he’s feeling on edge.

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin asks.

“The best sort of lies are the ones that are the most believable. And the most believable lies are the ones that are built up from some sort of truth,” Obi-Wan says quietly, eyes looking almost longingly toward the door behind them, clearly thinking the worst of this conversation already.

“That makes sense,” Anakin says agreeably. “I must have been so good at pretending to be your partner because, really, I’m in love with you.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes snap to him immediately. Hope blooms across his face as he smiles.

[newswcanonprompts]

prompt #37 - Jedi are like Magpies and love their clones

sorry we haven’t posted in forever! to make up for it, i’m posting one of our longest and detailed prompts (maybe even the longest)- this came from a LONG discussion a few weeks back, and it was a lot of fun. this idea morphed a ton, and it became this huge thing. this is personally my favorite one, so hope you enjoy!

Jedi collect trinkets and wear them!!! Hand them to others as a very important gift

The Clones dont really get it, but they are happy

The jedi make them things like jewelry, keychains, little beaded things, colored strings, they’ll give them feathers, you name it 

Its another way to show that they are individuals, and that the jedi know them specifically 

The veteran clones have long keychain type things and the shiny clones want them very much and it’s something they look forward to 

The padawans hand the commanders things and being sad when the CC’s tell them they can’t take them into battle 

Krell gets found out earlier.

“Okay, look, i know krell is… well, he is *something* and i don’t want to accuse a master of the order but have you looked at his men?! where the hell are their keychains?!”

The padawans stage a protest at the senate because how else are they going to make sure that their troops know they are loved and get their trinkets 

This idea can get angsty really quickly (finding trinkets after battles, in ship crashes, or post-order 66), but we won’t do that because of how angsty this server already is, we need some fluff sometimes

Palaptine can commit self delete 

Clones will paint armor for padawans cause that is how they show honor and stuff 

The clones, upon figuring out what they mean, give their jedi trinkets also

Mirialan padawan holding armor they got: “ITS GREEN LIKE ME!” 

There are little figurines, some painted rocks, some little shiny things found on the battlefield

The clones who aren’t as good with their hands singing songs or telling stories

The jedi record them and keep them on little datachips that they keep on them at all times

Barriss doesn’t go bad because this is happy time

The jedi padawans start a riot / protest outside the senate building because some clones got their trinkets taken away by asshole civilians because they’re “not human”, just copies

The (now very pissed off) jedi sprung into action

If a snooty senator(s) takes away a clone’s trinket, the jedi just sit back and grind to a halt. Because if the clones, the PEOPLE WHO PROTECT THE REPUBLIC, are gonna get treated like that, the war can wait 

The jedi knights and masters just meditate wherever the padawans are protesting

This is done to ‘keep the peace’

If anakin hears a snooty senator degrade the clones, he starts ranting and shouting about their individuality and accomplishments, while pointing at each trinket.

Someone live streams this

Luminara joins in (barriss is right behind) 

Aayla too 

Luminara, anakin, aayla, tag teamed shouted speech 

Ahsoka and barriss are being held back by the CC’s (ahsoka is making some very crude hand gestures and barriss is like “i can name every bone in your body as i break it” - cause barriss has all that healer knowledge) 

Once these three are done, mace windu comes along with the council. They think mace is going to scold the three of them until mace starts shouting at the senators too. The council just lets mace do all the talking. 

This is the most watched live stream this year. It’s very funny and starts a ton of memes (obi wans face, yoda meditating, the look of “oh shit” on the original snooty senator’s face, the look of surprise on everyone when mace starts shouting too - there is also a gif made of the council looking at the situation, looking at themselves (mostly mace) and then they all step back to let mace do the talking, the clones faces when they see that three jedi and then the jedi high council are defending them)

Mace, rolling up his sleeves: “okay let’s do this” 

The senators: backing away in fear 

Obi wan might commit a war crime right now because no way people can talk about his troops like that

Obi wan: “am i allowed to kill a senator?”

Cody: “General, do not-”

This whole thing leads to a massive debate and overwhelmingly good PR for the jedi and clones

Shady sheev doesn’t like that. Good PR for the jedi? No thank you. But since this is a fixit he gets his ass kicked later on so everything’s fine (skeevy sheev has to scramble to try to fix his plans though) 

All the padawans from that one lightsaber episode (the one on ilum where the younglings got their kyber crystals) are there and SHIT’S GOING DOWN

Petro in particular is very close to kicking someone’s ass 

Caleb dume is there also.

“Master depa said we should never raise our blades in revenge or anger. But this is not revenge.” this is war, this is justice, this is defense of a defenseless group 

Padme also joins in all of this (but much more calmly)

She also might make some passive aggressive comments about the snooty senators trash outfit 

She and all her senator friends are gonna blacklist the original culprit 

Padme and bail organa (they also got help from many jedi) put in the clone rights bill the next day

In the halls outside the debate chamber, padme threatens to gut people with her hair pins if they don’t vote in her favor

sure, it’s *technically* extortion, but come on, who’s gonna stop her? those pins are pointy y’all

Anakin tried to help draft / present the bill but he spent most of his time ranting about the injustices the clones have to face (leia had to get it from someone)

Anakin, out of breath: “AND ALL YOU SENATORS JUST SIT HERE, DOING NOTHING, WHEN THEY’RE OUT THERE DYING FOR YOU-” 

Padme: “okay ani i got this, drink some water please” 

Ahsoka also jumps in 

Plo, who’s watching the debate: “little ‘soka, please don’t hurt anyone” (but he’s not about to stop her, after all these are his sons we’re talking about) 

If someone said “well they’re not slaves?” anakin would go OFF. if you thought he was angry before… you got another thing coming.

“I AM A FREED SLAVE! I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE! THESE MEN HAVE LESS RIGHTS THAN I DID AS A SLAVE!” 

If the public doesn’t know about his childhood before, they do now

Imagine the shock 

Padme: “Ani, deep breaths, it’s gonna be okay.” 

Also padme, to the other senators: “well i mean he’s not wrong you assholes”

Padme is also making very well timed comments and suggestions. It’s the most successful day she’s had since she became senator

She’s also revealing all the senators’ dirty secrets

Padme: “oh, senator so-and-so, i released all your finances and your voting history on the holonet. I’m sure your supporters will love that you’re embezzling funds. Oh, you lost your support? Tragic.” 

The jedi also have dirt on everyone and they just casually let everything slip like they weren’t secrets 

Shady sheev Palpacreep is in his little podium thing during the debate, and he is very pissed, because his plan is getting ruined, but he can’t let it show or else people will discover the truth about him

Anakin: “isn’t it great that we’re finally doing something about it?” 

Sheev, pained: “Of course-” 

This whole debate is still live streamed - and it’s very popular

The senate who made the original comment and started all of this is #cancelled 

This is the greatest thing the galaxy has ever seen / watched because drama 

If a jedi dies, and they aren’t brought back to the temple, they are burned with the other dead on the battlefield. Young padawans take their master’s trinkets in remembrance, wanting to follow their path and have tangible proof that the master passed into the force but that they left their mark in the world

You do not burn the trinkets. Krell tried once. It almost started a jedi civil war (maybe that’s how he gets found out) 

Or maybe krell was found out because he gives zero trinkets to his men, and everyone caught on and were like “hey wtf man” 

But if you wanna make it angsty ( cough cough umbara ) then krell tells the 501st to remove / burn / throw out their trinkets or he’d do it for them 

He gives them an example by slicing a very special one that anakin and ahsoka both gave to rex 

Krell also slices one of dogma’s. It was the only one dogma had because  he was newish to the battalion at the time and wasn’t sure if accepting the trinkets was against regs or not. Krell slashes it and dogma doesn’t say anything but there were tears in his eyes 

All the jedi who find out what happened replace all the trinkets so fast. They also give krell’s men a shit ton of presents.

Krell’s men have no idea what to do with them, but they are so touched a few shed tears when they get them 

The clones get small tattoos of patterns that the little padawans drew for the men

The tattoos are small because some of them *might* just be random squiggles but the padawans looked so happy the clones just had to get them tattooed

Anakin orders japor wood with padme's bank account to make snippets for the clones because it’s not only a jedi thing, it’s from anakin's homeworld - and that’s like the highest praise you can get from him

The clones might not know exactly what it means but they know its super special 

Padme figures out a way to buy japor wood in bulk. Anakin is very touched by this 

When snooty senators start badmouthing clones, yoda just sits there and meditates to drive the senators nuts

“Sitting, i am, because stand you bitches, i cannot” 

Padme gets many trinkets from the 501st because they all *know* about her and anakin

Any trinkets that she gets she likes to incorporate into her outfits (like the warrior fashionista that she is) 

She embroiders some of them into her dresses and hairpieces 

They both get a TON of trinkets when the twins are born

Padme also gives trinkets to the 501st, some of the 212th, and all of the coruscant guard. Especially fox cause she sees all the work he does and the senators he has to deal with 

She’s besties with the coruscant guard. Like yeah, she knows the 501st and they know about her and anakin (and she’s one of them because of it) but the guard is who she’s always with

She probably wore red on debate day to represent them

[duxhess-kryzewan]

Obi-Wan preparing some surprise for Satine and her being curious, so she's following him and then try to sneak in only to get caught

-thief in the night - 

She trusts him.

There was never a doubt about that, she trusted him with her life. Hardly a soul in the galaxy would ever be granted such faith in them by her. It's an honor she doesn't bestow upon many.

That being said, he had lied to her.

When she had arrived on Coruscant on a diplomatic summit, she was just as delighted by the opportunity to see him as much as she was to speak on the progress her peaceful ways had made on Mandalore. It had been too long since the galaxy had been war torn and she hadn't yet seen him since peace had been declared. Despite the absence of battle, the universe still dictated where their priorities must be, and seeing each other was not on the forefront of those duties.

She would be on Coruscant for nine days, four of which were free of any summit meetings and Senate visits. Her staff had made sure to stagger her commitments and she could not have been more appreciative. The more time she had to slip away, the longer she could be with him.

Which is why she was beyond disappointed when her second night of freedom had came and he informed her that he had a prior engagement with the temple and wouldn't be able to see her. And while she understood, it didn't alleviate the pang of sadness in her chest upon hearing it.

"I'm all yours on your next free night." He assured her, "I'll be in your company as long as you'll have me, my dear."

"You better." She told him.

There wasn't much to be done about the situation though, and she understood that. It was another unfortunate caveat that came with the separate paths they chose to walk. Never will their duties be put on hold for each other. He had duties to perform at the temple that take precedence over her.

Which would be fine, had he not been lying to her about it.

She had just finished up a quick visit with Padme and Bail Organa when she caught the faintest glimpse of him ducking around a corner and down a corridor, cloak pulled up over his head. If she didn't know every inch of him as well as she did she could have mistaken him for someone else. But no, there was no hiding that auburn hair from her. The flash of auburn hair was all she needed to confirm his identity.

"Glad to see he's at the temple." She mutters to herself, and in a split second decision she pulls her own hood up and is headed in his direction.

Rarely is she without the company of her guards, and she wasn't about to let the opportunity go to waste. Navigating her way around the city wasn't the easiest of tasks, and trying to keep an eye on Obi-Wan while maintaining a distance was proving to be a challenge. But she was determined to figure out just why he had lied to her.

She stops a few yards away from him and watches as he walks into a small dilapidated shop in the back end of an alleyway, the sign so time worn that she can't make out the writing.

"What are you up to, Obi-Wan?" She whispers to herself, "He best have a good reason for lying to me."

And so she waits, watching as people come and go around her. The darkness - thank force - provided her with enough cover that no one would be able to recognize her.

Her focus soon becomes entirely lost in the crowd bustles around her, so much so that she almost misses him slipping out the door of the shop entirely and she has to quicken her pace to try and keep him in her sight, but when he takes a sharp turn down another ally she looses him completely.

"You should know better than to try and follow a Jedi."

His voice spooks her more than she would like to admit. How had he gotten behind her? He was ahead of her only moments ago.

When she turns she finds him standing with his arms crossed, hood still pulled over his head and a bemused smile on his face.

"You saw me?"

He snorts, "I've told you before, everyone has a force signature, I know yours quiet intimately. I could sense you not long after I left."

She curses herself under her breath. How could she forget? He only spent hours explaining how the force is in all living things when they were on the run.

"Right, that."

He nods his head in the direction of the Senate building, beckoning her to follow him. Not that she had any other option, she barely knows her way around the city. Another detail she hadn't thought of when she left after him.  

"Care to explain?"

She stares blankly at him for a moment. He wanted her to explain? She certainly wasn't the one who lied.

"Perhaps, if you explain why you lied to me." She counters.

He frowns, "I certainly hope you don't think I was committing any type of adulterous affairs."

There were many scenarios that ran through her head but that wasn't one of them. He might have lied to her about his whereabouts, but she would never believe that he was seeing another person. He barely has the nerve to go against the code he holds so close just to see her, let alone another woman.

"Of course not," she answers, "I would never."

He smiles at her briefly, before frowning once again, "Then why follow me?"

She narrows her eyes,  "Why lie to me?"

He stops walking when she poses the question again. There's something about the look in his eyes that gives him a pause; confliction, perhaps?

"I told you I was at the temple because I didn't want you to ruin the surprise."

She freezes, "Pardon?"

He sighs and runs a hand over his face. She's waiting for him to become upset with her, but instead of angered words he simply chuckles.

"I had intended to give it to you tomorrow evening after your session with the Senate. Unfortunately this was the only time I could slip away, which happen to come at the expense of one less evening with you, though I was hoping what I got you would make up for it."

She opens her mouth to responds, but can't quite form the words she's looking for. Had she really been so cross at the fact that he wasn't where he said he was that she completely ruined what surely must be something meaningful enough for him to sneak away from the temple​? It seemed that way.

"I'm sorry." Is the only thing she manages to come up with.

Despite what should be a very keen opportunity to be angry with her, he smiles warmly.

"No, I'm sorry for lying to you. I shouldn't have done so despite my good intentions."

The crowd swells around them, bustling bodies brushing against their own and he has to tug on her wrist to move her out of the way of a particularly large swarm of people. Not that she's complaining, the last thing she needed was her guards finding out she snuck away from them.

"Come on," he tells her, "Lets get you back to the Senate building before they send your guards on a man hunt."

She nods and follows wordlessly behind him. Every so often he would glance over his shoulder to make sure she was still there. Over protective as always. Perhaps it was an instinct that hadn't faded from their time on the run, even though she insisted she could take of herself.

It wasn't like she was about to voice that however, she did just ruin what clearly is a very personal surprise. Another thing to add to the ever growing list of guilt she has. It was bad enough that he violates the code for her, something she knows he struggles with even if he wont voice it.

Why did she think following him would be a good idea?

"Do you wish to be alone?" He asked her - rather sheepishly, she would add - once they arrived at the Senate guest suite.

She stares at him for a moment, "I presume you're rather upset at my ruining of your surprise. If you'd rather spend the night separately I understand; you don't have to stay." She paused before adding, "Or ever have to ask, for that matter."

Her head drops shamefully, the guilt for following him only manifesting with each passing moment and she's certain he won't want to be around her. She wouldn't want to be around her, not after questioning her trust in him.

But he only smiles and opens the door, gently weaving their fingers together enough to tug her inside.

He kicks the door shut and kisses her. Its the first time he's truly touched her in almost a year and the sensation is so overwhelming that all she can do is wonder how she could ever, ever doubt his loyalty to her.

"I'd like to give you your gift now, if that's alright." He says just as he pulls away.

She finally grants him a smile. How could she not smile at such a wonderful man?

"If you wish."

He grins and kisses her again before reaching into his robe and pulling out a small blue pouch, its silken fabric shimmering in the dull light of the room and she's entranced by the color alone.

He holds it out to her, beckoning her to pull on the tightly knotted string. She does, and lets the small ribbon fall to the floor before he tips the bag over and lets its contents slide onto her open palm.

"Padme had some input, I confess." He tells her, "I'm not the leading expert on women's jewelry."

It wasn't anything grand; a simple silver chain wrapped around a bright blue crystal. She's sure that Padme steered him in the right direction of what she would and wouldn't wear.

"You don't have to wear it if you don't like it," He says quickly, likely a response to the blank expression she's wearing. Not for a lack of liking it - quite the opposite, in fact - but because she was entranced by both the gesture and the object in her hand.

"It's the Kyber crystal from my last lightsaber," He explains, "The lightsabers itself was broken, having been kicked down a shaft on Naboo, but I managed to salvage the crystal. I know it's not to the caliber of your normal attire but I hope-"

She doesn't give him a chance to finish. She's too impatient to let him say anything else about how she may or may not like it and overwhelmed by just how much she loves him. Every time she fears that he has allowed his affection for her to fade he turns around and proves her wrong.

So she kisses him, because it's the only thing that she could possibly do to show how much she loves it and him.

"I want to wear it." She tells him, "It's wonderful and I want to wear it."

​He smiles, "You're sure?"

How could she not be?

"I'm sure."

She slips the necklace back into his awaiting hand and turns, letting him do the honors of brushing her hair to the side. Not that she was incapable, but she relishes in the chill that runs down her spine every time he touches her.

The crystal is cold against her bare skin but she loves it all the same. It's easily one of the most thoughtful things she had ever received.

Hell, he could have given her anything and she would love it all the same so long as it came from him.

A kiss is pressed against the back of her neck and she sighs.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan."

He nuzzles her exposed skin before dropping his chin against her shoulder, "Next time I make an attempt at surprising you, could you reconsider following me all around the city?"

She grins.

"I'll consider it."​

[babbushka]

Hounds

Part 2 of Empress, but can be read alone. 3.2k ; NSFW

You’re waiting for them, when they arrive. Standing in the docking bay with the praetorian guards who have sworn themselves to protecting you when Kylo and the Knights are away, you wait, eager anticipation in the air. You’ve got on your formal robes, long long long black silks and red jewelry that bleed ruby under the harsh lights of the fluorescents.

But there’s something underneath all the fabric that you think is exciting, something that you’ve gone ahead and done without Kylo knowing. You know he’ll like it, he’ll be obsessed with it, with the jewelry. He likes you cloaked in finery always. In fact, you’re not so sure he hasn’t brought you back some from this planet, this mission. He always showers you in beautiful things, why would this be any different?

It’s no surprise this time, when they arrive. You’re expecting them and they’re right on time, the ship’s airlocks hiss open, the hatch comes down and out steps your husband in all his glory.

He is filthy, absolutely filthy from the sweat blood dirt tears of his enemies, as he stands unmasked before you. He wastes no time in striding across the hangar, cape billowing out behind him, lightsaber clipped to his belt heavy and swinging with each of his long steps, heading straight for you.

He holds you too close, in a way that speaks to some difficulties on the mission.

Difficulties that make your anxiety spike when you only see two Knights standing behind him.

“Where are the others?” You ask immediately, although Kylo doesn’t bother to stop kissing you, your face.

“It’s just us this time.” Casey the eldest, your favorite of the Knights, says.

“Are they – ” You start. Kylo’s teeth dig into your throat, making your eyes shut and you let out a soft moan at the feeling of it, of his crooked canines biting into your flesh, nipping.

“They’re alright, on another ship. They’ll be here soon” Casey says again, because Max is staring at you, is transfixed by the sound of your moans, the sounds that Kylo deeps pulling from you.

“Oh,” You say with a grin, tangling your hand into Kylo’s hair and gently gently gently pulling his face out from where he’s shoved it against your skin, “Well in that case.”

Your eyes flick to Kylo’s and he nods, knows what you’re thinking. He turns to the women and regards them, notices the way they’re standing at perfect attention, the way their fists open and close, anxious to touch you. Warmth blooms in your chest, they’re always so anxious to touch you.

“I think they’ve earned a reward.” Kylo says, just loud enough for you to hear.

They don’t have to speak among themselves, not with the hivemind they share, so it’s purely for your benefit. But you like these Knights, like the way they make you feel good, and you shudder in Kylo’s arms, eager to give them a reward indeed.

 You can’t help but feel powerful, with the way they walk behind you. Kylo is the only one allowed at your side, the Knights and the Praetorian guards marching behind you. It’s a procession, you know that. Those who pass by you in the hallway scurry to the walls, lest they get thrown up against the metal grating with the Force. The smart ones, the loyal ones, fall to their knees before you and Kylo, rulers of the known galaxy. There is respect, admiration there. It’s intoxicating.

Almost as much as the look on their faces when Kylo allows the Knights to disrobe you. Carefully, layer by layer they unwrap your body, looping the silks and satins across their hands and forearms before letting it all drape to the floor. They take their time with you, the women do. The men are more brusque, more rushed. Casey and Max have never been one to rush.

They all freeze, all of them, when they see the prize you’ve given them. Through each of your nipples are rings of kyber crystal, red and deep and dark, menacing. Kylo pushes through the women, comes to stand before you, his gloved hands cupping your breasts.

“For me?” He murmurs, letting the weight of them warm his palm through the leather.

“For you.” You reply, a big smile already coming up onto your face, pleased that he likes it.

He hums, rubs your nipples with his thumbs, and you can tell he’s toying with the idea of dismissing the Knights altogether, of taking you for himself straight away. But there’s tension in the air – they want their fill of you, and he had promised it to them, you knew, you had heard.

So, Kylo instead kisses you long and deep before walking over to his chair on the other end of the room, leaning back into the cushion like he does on his throne, his legs spready lazily as he’s already fishing out his cock. He’s a voyeur, your man, always has been.

With him seated, hand on his hard dick, already slowly stroking it in anticipation, you turn to the women. Casey and Max make short work of stripping themselves of their outer layers of armor – you didn’t like dirt on the bed, not from anyone other than Kylo.

You walk backwards to the bed, leading them a crook of your finger. Max rushes to your side, a warm hand on your back as she lays you down atop a practical mountain of pillows. She’s got long dark hair that’s braided back into thick ropes that sway down to her ribcage, and skin marred by many many victories. Her nose reminds you very much of Kylo’s sometimes, the beautiful proud way that it sticks out from her face with a slight hook that you love to trace your finger down.

Casey climbs up behind you, her calloused palms smoothing your hair away from your shoulders as she begins to suck marks onto your neck, your jaw. She’s so muscular, you can feel the ridges of her abs on your back as she breathes deeply. One of your hands finds its way into her short hair, nearly shaved down. Her tongue is rough and sandpapery, and you preen under it, you know what it can do, how it can make you feel.

With Casey at your back, Max takes the spot at your front, arranges your legs so nicely around her hips.

“I always feel bad, you know.” You say breathless, as Max begins to lick and wet her fingers.

You know where those fingers are going, and your cunt already begins to clench, to drool for them.

“We know.” Max says around her hand, using her knee to keep your legs propped oven.

“I like when you come back first.” You whisper, confide as Casey licks her lips, sucks on your earlobe.

“When the brutes are away…” She murmurs against the skin of your cheek, her hands coming around to cup and knead at your breasts, careful to not accidentally snag on the new pretty jewelry you wear.

“Mmm, the girls will play.” Max grins, as she bends you back so you’re practically laying on top of Casey, your legs falling open for her.

 She has the longest fingers, out of all of them. Kylo once had them all compare, once had them all check, to see who would be best suited to fuck you which ways. They were grateful for it, for any of it, but Max was the most, because she got to touch the very inside of you, got to stroke the walls of your pussy with her long long long fingers.

“Yes!” You let out, already tingling, already shaking.

Because stroke them she does, expertly. They all can read you, can all hear you loud and clear thanks to Kylo, thanks to the bond you share with him and only him. He broadcasts it, when the Knights are good, so that they can get a feeling of your sensations, of your pleasure.

“Pretty girl, look at her.” Casey lets one of her hands leave your breast and instead comes up to cup your jaw, traces the edge of your chin, “All dolled up for us.”

Kylo groans from his spot on the chair, and your eyes flick to him, watch him through hooded lids as Max fingers you, as her thumb brushes over your clit and makes your head drop back onto Casey’s shoulder.

“She’s so sweet, taste.” Max says, pulling her fingers away for a moment and pushing them to Casey’s lips.

“Delicious,” Casey murmurs in your ear, her muscular arms winding like snakes around you, protective, possessive, “Like honey, or wine.”

Max chuckles at the way your hips rise, and she’s soon sliding her hand back through the crease of your thigh, collecting the slick that pools there from the way your pussy drools. She pushes it into you, three fingers and her thumb now, thrusting lightly, gently in and out of you.

“Oh – I – yes,” Your eyes are shut and your mouth is dropped open, but you’re greedy, selfish, you want more, want it deeper. “Please?”

You ask Kylo, and he growls from his chair, growls because he wants to be the one to do it, but neither have really had their fill yet, so he nods.

“Do it.” He orders, and soon there’s a flurry of activity.

Casey rolls you over and has you sitting on her face in practically no time. You’re too dizzy to even really process is, but then you don’t give a shit because you’re moaning, grinding your hips down onto her tongue. In the big comparison, Casey had the second longest tongue to Kylo.

Maybe that was why she was your favorite, out of all the Knights.

She holds your thighs, keeps you in place as you ride her face, her tongue fucking into your cunt so deep that you choke on your moans they’re coming so quickly. Max licks up the sweat that collects between your breasts, noses at your sternum, careful of the piercings. You like when the women fuck you because they’re always so careful, unlike Jov or Six who sometimes go too fast too much too rough.

Casey hums into your pussy, her nose pushing right against your clit, and you’re coming down her throat before you can even warn her – not that she needs or wants a warning. She’s good, swallows you down all the way, fucks you through the rush of your orgasm as your nerves light up, fire burning blazing through you all the way to your toes that curl.

Max guides your hand to her pussy, and you eagerly – if a little dazed – return the favor she was so kind to give you as you let her ride your hand.

She grins into your neck where she’s been pressed up against, teeth marking up your throat, as she moans, as Casey doesn’t stop eating you out.

 You don’t know how it happens, but you feel your head turning to look over your shoulder, turning to look at Max, and there’s the ghost of a kiss on your lips that shocks you so much your knees smack against Casey’s side.

Kylo is out of his chair in an instant, his hard cock tucked back away into his trousers as he literally yanks Max off and away from you, pulls your hand away from her.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He demands, jaw clenched too tight, eyes wild.

“I’m sorry I – ” Max realizes, realizes how badly she’s fucked up when Kylo shoves himself between the three of you, too angry to care anymore, as he lifts you up into his arms and crushes you to his chest.

Casey shoots daggers at Max with her glare, chin shining and thighs wet from where she had been fingering herself as she licked into your cunt. Max broke one of the rules, one of only two rules – no coming inside, and no kissing.

And now Kylo was pissed.

“Off.” He orders, snapping his fingers at his Knights, face practically shaking from how angry he is, “Now.”

“Can’t we even -- ?” Casey tries, desperate to come.

“No.” He seethes, not even allowing them that. When they’re good they all get you, but when they’re bad, when at least one of them is bad, they all are punished. They’re stunned, frozen, haven’t gotten off of the bed yet, and Kylo doesn’t like this.

He summons his lightsaber from across the room and ignites it, points it at them as he clings you close to his body.

“Now!” He shouts, an order which the women waste no time obeying.

Casey could kill Max, from the looks of it. She just might.  

“Kylo it’s okay, she didn’t mean it.” You whisper, wiping your hands off on your stomach and cupping his face, kissing his cheek.

The red of the saber is crackling and hissing, spitting sparks red and angry, so angry. You keep kissing Kylo’s cheek, the corner of his mouth.

When did it get so dark in the bedroom, you wonder? Kylo must have lowered the lights, must have done something, because the red of this saber seems much more dramatic in contrast of the lowlight of the room.

It’s then that the other Knights of Ren join – and they are immediately on edge when they see the scene before them; Kylo holding you close, pointing his saber at Max, Casey standing off to the side with her arms crossed.

“Oh, just in time.” Kylo spits, leveraging the saber in their direction as he says, “Against the wall, all of you.”

“Kylo, darling it’s okay.” You try and calm him, but he shakes his head.

He’s nearly blinded with it, with rage, and he turns off the saber but instead pins them all to the wall with the Force, every single one of them. The Knights all had their own abilities, but none mastered the ways of bending time and space like Kylo, like your husband.

“You need to learn, that this angel is my wife.” He seethes, arranging you so nicely on the bed, keeping them still pinned in place against the wall. ��She is mine, you are here only to give her pleasure, do you understand?”

“Yes master.” The KoR say in unison, the men confused and the women ashamed, as Kylo wants them.

“None of you are so worthy as to kiss her lips – your filthy mouths filled with blood, how dare you assume you might taste her soul on her tongue?” He’s angry again, and the air spikes with the Force, things in the room rattle and shake.

He pulls his cock out again and sinks it deep into you, harsh and rough at first, making you moan loudly in the room, loud enough to cover the sound of the groaning metal as Kylo shoves his disobedient pack farther into the grating.

“We’re sorry, master.” They say in unison, some struggling against the way the Force chokes them, others melting into it.

His hips snap into yours harsh, and you’re gasping for him, your hands digging into his shoulder, fisting the thick fabric of his cape, pulling him farther on top of you. His cock hits you so deep that you can’t stop tears from pricking onto the corners of your eyes, and your back arches against the rough rough material of his tunic, smearing your stomach with the blood that’s been caked onto it from the battle he had just come home to you from.

But he’s too lost in it, balls deep, skin prickling and crackling with the force. He’s feral, almost, the way his teeth stick out from his jaw, greasy thick hair hanging in his eyes as he grunts into your pussy, fucking your come into your cunt again and again as he rolls your clit in his thumb and makes you shake around him.

“I give you the privilege of touching her, of fucking her, of coming all over her, and still your greed boils up?” He shouts, voice raised, voice so loud that they flinch, before it goes deadly quiet, low, and he’s covering your whole body with his, shielding you from their view as he rails you into the mattress, pushes you up onto the pillows with such force that you almost shove them all off the bed.

“Learn this now, this is my life you are disrespecting so severely, my everything. This is the face of the Order. I am only barely worthy of touching it myself!” He snaps, and you shout out his name loud, because he presses a palm to your stomach and pleasure shocks through you directly from his fingertips, the Force flowing through him and into you, making you sob from how good it feels, making your pussy clench so hard around him that he comes with a loud, “Fuck!”

“Supreme Leader I – ” Max begins, but Kylo only throws a hand out and chokes her.

“I didn’t ask you to speak.” He groans, hips fucking his come into you.

You look down at the join of your bodies, the way that you can see the pearly white sticky come clinging to his cock as he forces it back inside you. It’s blurred, because you’re straining through your tears, as the Force winds its way into you from all angels, all of your holes filled. Kylo’s cock in your pussy, yes, but the Force shoves its way up your ass, down your throat, curls around your nipples and tugs on them hard, as Kylo kisses you.

He’s the only one allowed to kiss you.

“Leave us.” He orders, releasing his hold on everyone, on everything, letting them all drop from the Force. Kylo hadn’t realized, you didn’t think, that he had pinned Max up onto the ceiling.

He waits until they’ve all filed out of the room, after Casey and Max have dressed enough to be presentable as they stalk the halls of the ship awaiting their punishments. You wonder if they’ll punish Max themselves, before Kylo can get to her.

“Are you okay precious?” He asks, whispers, voice low from where he’s still buried deep inside you.

You shift your hips, and the post-glow of orgasm begins to fade, instead replaced with mild guilt. You hadn’t wanted anyone to get in trouble.

“I’m fine, really, Kylo I’m sorry – ” You start but he shakes his head, cups your cheek and kisses you, licks into your mouth.

“Shh, no, you have nothing to apologize for.” He says, tucks your hair behind your ears and brushes your tears of pleasure off your cheeks, “They should know better.”

And you nod because he’s right, they should. Max had just gotten carried away, that’s all.

“Don’t carve them up too much honey.” You give him a smile, a lazy hazy smile, and he rolls his hips against yours once more, groaning with a playful smile as he buries his face between your tits, gently flicks your nipple ring with his index finger.

“It’s my own fault, this is what we get with a pack of strays.” He sighs, content and relaxed and blissed out himself for the moment.

“Hmm, maybe.” You chuckle, “But they’re ours.”

And Kylo nods at that, because they are – they’re yours. Devoted and loyal to him yes, but he was loyal to you. He looks at you, love in his big brown eyes, eyes filled less with anger and more with softness, when he nuzzles against your chest, and says,

“Our hounds.”

                                                    --------------

Tagging some Kylo lovin’ friends! <3  @adamsnackdriver​ @dreamboatdriver​ @kyloxfem​ @heldcaptivebychaos​ @kylo-renne​ @callmehopeless​ @solotriplets​ @formerly-anonhamster​ @lookinsidemyhead​ @candycanes19​ @adamsnacc-kler​ @the-wayward-rose​ @taylovren-types @whiskey-bumblebee​ @riseofkylo​ @magikevalynn​ @tinyplanet-explorers​ @chelsjnov​ @romancedeldiablo​ @helloimindelaware​ @elfieboxcat​ @laurenshit​ @autumnlovesadam​

[darthspideys]

antithesis // seven

din djarin x jedi! reader

summary: You expected to find another of yoda’s species, much less under the protection of a particularly stubborn mandalorian. Little do you know its that discovery that will change life as you know it, and put all three of you in danger you never saw coming.

words: ~2k

If you weren’t so in your own head, you probably would have kissed him. It feels right, you can see his face for the first time and the moonlight is drenching everything in a light glow, a breeze makes its way through the trees. It’s the kind of moment that a normal person would think is perfect , but you're too in your own head to make the most of it. You just stand there, staring, taking in every inch of his face until finally he says something. 

“Tell me about your parents.” 

You don’t shy away from the question for the first time. “My father never told me how they met, but I assume it was some chance meeting. They ran off together, lived on this tiny farm in the outer rim where no one would find them but she got unhappy, she missed her home, she missed her people. Instead of leaving him, she had me, and I kept her there for a while,” This is the part that you really don’t want to tell anyone, “She was never going to stay, it was only delaying the inevitable. They argued everyday before she left, I’d lay awake in bed listening to the shouting and I could feel the anger they both had, only she resented him for trapping her there. The next day she was gone, and that was it.” 

He nods slowly, and takes a step towards you, “And you went to look for her.”

You laugh, but it's cold and hollow. You shake your head, wanting to push him away, “She tried to stage a rebellion against Vizsla and the Empire, it was early on in their rule and they needed Mandalore under their thumb. She died way before I could get to her.” You shrug. You feel responsible for a lot of things, for your father dying, for everyone who died under your command, for everyone who's gotten close to you and ended up in harm's way but your mother is the one person you have never felt responsible for.

“I want you,” You say suddenly, “But you don’t want me. You think you do, but you don’t. My birthright is losing love, and running and leaving. I can love someone but I can’t keep them, because I will always run. I can be with you the way you want me to be, the way that I want to be.” More than anything you just want to let out a long scream, “I am not enough for you.” 

“You are everything to me,” He says, taking you aback. It seems to surprise him too. 

You laugh, genuinely and loudly, “You met me three days go.” 

His cheeks go pink, “You just said you loved me.” 

“Love is one thing,” You say, stay smiling, “Being someone’s everything is a completely different story. I know I was going pretty fucking far into the whole trauma bodning confessional but I did not expect you to match me in intensity.” You say, “I’m not rational, if this is going to work you have to be the one who thinks about things.” 

He rolls his eyes, “And now your back to admitting you want this to work.” 

“Of course I want this to work.” 

“You just said-” 

“I just want you to know what you’re getting into.” 

“Oh I am well aware-” And then he kisses you. 

And all of a sudden you're kissing him back. 

You’re just standing there, more vulnerable than you’ve been in a long time, kissing him and the world around you doesn’t change or anything. Both of you still have a lot of issues to sort out, and the empire is still looking for you but there’s something to be said for a kiss that doesn’t change a lot but means everything. 

That night you sleep wrapped up in his arms. 

He’s asleep faster than you even thought was possible. It’s like he’s been waiting for this moment for so long, and he’s ready to take full advantage. For you sleep is more elusive than that, but you're more than happy to see him so relaxed. The last couple of days have been hectic to say the least, and while you're used to that kind of constant motion you suspect that he stops and smells the roses every once and awhile. 

You think about getting up and walking around, but you don’t want to risk waking anyone up. The problem is that you feel like you're just tempting fate by allowing yourself to settle down. By allowing yourself to sleep you're ignoring the fact that the empire remnant is still looking for you, that sith seems pretty intent on killing you and you still have no way to get in contact with Luke. 

Even if you did, you didn’t know what you would say. Everything is so blurred now, you can’t even untangle what your mission is anymore. And maybe that’s why you can’t sleep, because now that you’ve settled down and thought about it you have no idea why you're even still here. You're in love with the Mandalorian, which is beyond any semblance of reason but that doesn’t make it any less true. 

As you lay there and listen to his snores, you let your mind wander and think about how you could stay like this forever. It’s a new feeling, because you’ve never wanted to stick around one place for too long, after what happened. You’ve learned it's selfish to hold onto things, that you have to allow things to change as rapidly as they wanted to. Only you don’t want this to change, you want to hold onto this moment and somehow make it last forever.

The next morning you know exactly where you need to go to find the answer Din is looking for. “We need to go to Ilum.” 

He narrows his eyes at you in the orange light of the sunrise, “That’s a wasteland, a cold barren wasteland.” 

“Now it is,” You tell him, “But what it used to be was a sacred planet to the Jedi, the kyber crystals that power lightsabers are found primarily on Ilum or at least they used to be.” 

“And you think that the empire left anything when they destroyed the place and all but took it off the map?” 

You shrug, “I don’t know, Vader was evil but he was calculating he wouldn’t do something that wasn’t in his best interest. There could still be structures there, but even if there isn’t it’s still a place deeply connected to the force.” 

“You think that’ll work?” 

“Do you have a better idea?” You shoot back. 

He presses a quick kiss to your lips and shakes his head. 

“I’m always right,” You tease him. You stand up from the bed, and then fall right back into it dramatically with your arms and legs stretched out. “Fuck, now I have to tell Kes I’m fucking leaving.” 

“I can tell you what not to do,” He smiles, “Whatever last night was.” 

You narrow your eyes, “Really because-” You realize what he’s talking about, “Oh wait you mean our conversation last night not-” He laughs and then nods. “I was in a very emotional place right now, and the only other person I’ve ever admitted to having feelings for-” You wince, “-lives here.” 

He looks at you for a long time, but says, “I figured.” 

“You figured?”

“People don’t get that angry at each other unless they’re family or-”

“Well I appreciate you not saying that at all last night, not even hinting at it,” You say, “You and this whole keeping your observations to yourself thing will not work if we’re going to be partners.”

He smiles and you almost melt, “We’re partners?”

“I mean we have kicked ass together multiple times, and looked very attractive while doing it. Us not being partners would be a crime to the entire galaxy.” 

He stands and gets out of the bed, then holds out his hand to you. “Come on, let’s do this.”

You sigh, “Seeing as I am the only one doing it I think that I shouldn’t.” 

“Fine,” He says, “I’ll do it but you have to retrieve the kid.” 

You roll out of the bed with a huff, “I’m getting up.” You pick up your clothes off the ground and pull them on, “I’m not going to touch that little fucking thing, I told you it creeps me out.” 

“It’s a baby,” He says.

“I'm not even going to respond to that.” 

You find Kes in the kitchen after Din takes the kids out into the yard. 

“I’m a runner,” It catches him off guard as he stands in the middle of the kitchen. The sun has fully risen, bathing everything in the hot yellow light. When he turns to you, the sun illuminates his face. “I run from things,” You know where you're going but it doesn’t make it any easier to say, “I run when things get hard, I go away when there are things that I don’t want to do, I turn away when there is something I can’t face.” 

He doesn’t move an inch, he just looks hurt, “I never thought that you would need to run from me.” 

“It’s not you,” You tell him. “I didn’t want to face the fact that she’s dead, I still don’t. This is her life, and being here hurts because it reminds me of how much she wanted to be here to live it, how excited she was to finally be able to raise her son and be with you. This is hard, and so I ran.” You pause, “Now is the point where I’m going to say I’m sorry.” 

A smile pulls at the edge of his lips, “You? Saying sorry? I don’t know if I believe it.” You both laugh. He leans against the counter, “Did you find what you were looking for?” 

You take a breath, and smile a little. “I think I have.”

[peter-laufeyson]

it’s time to let go

summary: ben and reader have made a new life for themselves after defeating palpatine. they only wanted to get away from the force and the dark side. little do they know, someone has different plans...

pairing: ben solo x reader

word count: 3.4k+

warnings: none

author’s note: i had a dream about this so i had to make it into a fic! ben solo will always have my heart

BEN AND [Y/N] left after the defeat of Palpatine. Their bodies suffered from exhaustion. 

Although, [Y/N] cared not about returning to the Resistance. Instead the two decided that if they should desperately need help, they would return and leave once more. They didn't want to fight more than what they had to. 

The Resistance just lost it's best fighter, not to death but to love.

Months ago [Y/N] and Ben Solo had left to start their own story.

To claim the throne, they returned to the New Alderaan and Ben Solo proved that his mother was the Princess. 

His rightful title was Prince of Alderaan. Although the people had yet to settle on a King they saw fit for the throne. When Ben came, he became the favorite and the people voted for him as King.

With all happy endings, there was a catch. 

The people of the New Alderaan, only voted for Ben Solo because they did not know he was Kylo Ren.

And so [Y/N] and Ben would live with the biggest secret, or even a lie, for the rest of their lives. 

Her legs were completely numb. [Y/N] laid on her bed next to Ben. He was exhausted too. Surprisingly, the King was gentle and aggressive when he needed to be. After some heated moments last night, Ben Solo got carried away and destroyed [Y/N]'s insides.

Her hand reached up to touch her neck.

How the hell? You thought.

Ben Solo turned to lay his arm around her. She put her hand on top of his as she turned her head to look at the sun that looks like it was about to set.

[Y/N] shot up quickly realizing how long they had slept for.

"Ben!" You shouted. He groaned in frustration.

"Damn it your Majesty, the sun is already going down!" you looked at him slightly shaking him awake. You wondered why the maid never came in to attempt to wake you both.

"I don't want to wake up, yet." He said softly as he opened his eyes and lightly pulled your hair back.

"Its so late..." You urged pulling the sheets closer to your body, "We have work to do."

"I dismissed all addresses for today. I knew I was going to be tired, and I knew you were going to be too weak the next morning."

It was true.

Slowly you got up, quick to grab a robe. You watched him as he just laid on the bed. 

You were so happy, everything you sought for your entire life was right in front of you. His wavy soft hair was scattered in his face and his chest was so smooth and strong. 

[Y/N] turned to her dressers that held her collection of crowns and gowns. She loved the dress up, but she also loved being superior.

She sat next to Ben, and moved his hair. "Let's at least got for a walk somewhere," You suggested. 

"Your legs work?" He smiled as you shoved him, laughing and how confident he was.

You playfully rolled your eyes, "They will return to normal."

"I'll remember to be more aggressive next time," He looked at you and your heart dropped. 

Can he even do that? You thought.

You left his side and looked at all the dresses you had. By title, you always had to be elegant and show your authority by wearing a crown. Unless training, you didn't have to wear such things. 

Although, for Ben he had one crown of pure gold. Your tiaras were never, by law, allowed to be bigger in size than his. For this showed that he was King and had the most authority. 

[Y/N] picked a beautiful gown that was of satan and diamonds. It bore no straps and dropped to your feet with a minimal amount of volume. You walked to Ben so he could zip the back of your dress. He slowly traced his fingers on your back as you shivered slightly. He then zipped the dress and you turned to look into his eyes.

"You better hurry, I don't want to wait for you." You said demandingly and kissed his cheek.

Although, what ever happened to being powerful force users? The couple decided to never use the force. But their lightsabers would always be carried with them at all times without the knowledge of others. [Y/N] and Ben didn't want their citizens to know such a thing about them. 

Ben wore simple but jaw dropping clothes. As King, he never wore his crown. He only ever wore it for special occasions, as did you. Except, for daily use, you wore small minimal crowns. 

As you wrapped your coat around yourself you placed the small crown on your head. You turned to him and asked if he was ready and he nodded.

"Inform the guards we will be back late." Ben told his secretary.

The palace gates opened and you told your personal pilot where you wanted to go. After sometime, you finally landed and left the ship. 

"[Y/N], where are we?" Ben asked looking around, not exactly feeling good about the area.

She walked quickly leaving Ben to just stare at her in confusion. [Y/N] looked around, and pulled off her coat exposing her beautiful dress. 

Ben noticed the tight grip on her lightsaber. This was something he's never seen [Y/N] do. It was unnatural for her to do such a thing.

"I had a vision of this place," You slowly turned to look at him, "It's calling me to this place."

"Do you even know what this place is?" Ben was starting to sound frustrated with the situation. [Y/N] shook her head slowly.

"This looks like the remains of Coruscant." He added. Ben wasn't wrong. It was dark, hot, and the air was thick. Even the lake that split the two sides of the ground was steaming slightly from heat.

Although, a presence was felt. They both ignited their lightsabers and turned their heads to see if they see anyone. 

[Y/N] looked back and saw a man with a double sided lightsaber appear between the open space of [Y/N] and Ben. Another woman with the same lightsaber appeared on the other side of the lake. 

[Y/N] twirled the lightsaber in her hand and yelled, running towards the man between them. Quickly, she was pulled back by the woman on the other side of the lake. Her body went straight to the hot water and the woman used a black fogged glass to cover the entire lake so [Y/N] could not escape.

Ben was beyond his emotions. He went straight for the man. Their lightsaber clashed and they had a small fight before Ben got pushed back by the force.

[Y/N] was pounding hard on the glass trying to break it, but nothing would budge. The water was burning her skin and the dress she wore was weighing her down. It also didn't help that the lake was very dark so she couldn't see anything outside or even the bottom of the lake.

"I'm going to give you two options..." The man spoke, "Both of you come with us or you can decline and we drown her Majesty the Queen. Either way, Kylo Ren is coming with us."

Ben frowned, he had no choice. He could hear [Y/N]'s pounding on the glass fade by the seconds. She was screaming and he felt it.

The man continued to speak, "I suggest you take my offer. Her Majesty the Queen is wanted for her precious power."

Suddenly, [Y/N]'s pounding stopped. Her body was sinking to the bottom of the lake.

"We'll do it. Just bring her back!" Ben yelled in defeat. 

The man turned to the woman as she lifted the glass and pulled up [Y/N] using the force and laid her on the floor. 

Ben ran to [Y/N] but her body was too hot for him to touch. Her small crown was gone and the dress she wore was ripped on the bottom to create less weight for [Y/N]. The man and woman stood together and the man lifted his arm up and slammed his fist on the floor transporting them to a sacred place. 

[Y/N] felt someone massaging her back as she laid on a bed. The room was white and the light didn't help as she tried to clear her vision.

"It’s time to wake up," A voice kept saying.

Your head was rested on your arm, your body was so weak, but relaxed. Slowly you opened your eyes and saw that you laid in a small room. 

The person massaging your back left. You quickly sat up realizing you had a small white skirt and a white wrap around your chest. This wasn't very appropriate.

You winced and grabbed your stomach as you felt a strong pain. The pain was, unusual... unfamiliar.

You looked behind you and found a desk with the dress you were wearing and your royal blue coat. You grabbed the coat to cover yourself more and left the small room.

Where's Ben? You thought. 

As you walked down the halls, every other person looked at you. You saw a fair amount of others your age. 

"Are you [Y/N]?" A woman asked with a tone. Her eyes were slightly red. You could feel the anger radiating off of her.

"Yes..." you replied.

She started walking and you followed behind her. Passing different rooms, you saw everything from dueling, arguing, killing, and a room full of kyber crystals. 

When you reached a door, the woman looked at you and you frowned slightly at her. She opened the door and there was massive explosions everywhere. 

You slowly walked inside and noticed the ceilings are very high and there were cannons pointing down causing the explosions. There were almost two dozens of people training and dueling. On a rock stood an old man whose clothes were of black.

You wondered why would they dressed you in white? Everyone wore dark colored clothes.

Within the mix of students you saw Ben. He stood out because of his lightsaber. Although his lightsaber was red, it wasn't like the other's. Many of them had a double ended or a single ended lightsabers. It was strange, he was so into the fighting. You almost saw it as how he used to fight when he was with the First Order.

"Ben?" You called out to him. He turned to look at you. Other students stopped and glared at you.

"Come here my child," The old man demanded.

You refused to move, you were so full of anger. The woman escorting you had pushed you and harshly grabbed your arm while taking you to him. 

Ben watched and the students surrounded the scene. The woman shoved you on your knee in front of the old man. Ben took a step forward causing the students to ignite their lightsabers in front of him, reassuring him that he should stay put.

"Why have you come here?" He croaked.

You quickly stood up and used the force to grab a student's saber and ignited it following a harsh strike into the woman who escorted you. 

Everyone watched as the body dropped to the floor with a big thump. 

"You forced us here..." You glared.

"Dear child-" The man began speaking before you interupted him.

"I'm not your child!" You yelled back in anger raising the saber to him.

"You had the vision, you came to me." The old man smirked.

You grabbed his neck and put the blade so close to him that it was slightly burning his skin. He seemed so calm, it only angered you more. You tightened the grip on his neck.

"What do you want from me?" You asked in a demanding way.

He smirked, "For you to turn to the dark side."

"I'll never turn, you fool." You growled.

He shoved you off and it caused you to stumble back. 

"Look at yourself!" He roared. "You've already killed and your feelings betray you!"

"My feelings are clear!" you yelled back.

He laughed. This old man made you look weak.

"Ben Solo and I are leaving," You stated.

"No you won't.” The man simply said.

"And why's that?" You glared.

"This place calls to you," His eyes burned more into your soul, "It’s offering something you need."

You no longer had words. It was true, this place appeared in your dreams.

"I don't even know what this place is...” You spoke.

"No? Jedi were trained by a master at the Jedi Temple. Sith are trained by a master at the Sith Temple." 

You couldn't believe it.

"So you expect us to stay here and train to become a sith?" You looked at Ben then back and the old man.

"You will stay willingly, and you will do everything I ask of you." His words were of demand. 

You stepped closer to him, "I would never stay here willingly."

"Do you know why your body was so exhausted when you woke up?" He asked. You frowned thinking why would he ask such a thing.

"Because your idiotic students drowned me in a heated lake!" You snapped back.

"But that doesn't explain the pain you felt in your stomach..." He added.

Your frowned and your heart dropped. Ben felt the confusion and emotions inside you. They were unstable.

"The dark side is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."

"No... impossible!" You yelled in anger.

"Search your feelings you know it is true." He paused, "Bring it."

Your breathing was too fast and your head felt like it was burning. Ben rushed to you and held you, he had no idea what was about to happen.

Soon, someone walked in with a basket. When they showed you what it was you cried in agony. They stole your child from you.

"How did you do this!" Ben yelled.

"It was simple. She was already pregnant. All we had to do was speed up the process and make her have the baby when she was unconscious." The old man spoke.

You cried on your knees. How could they? You didn't even know you were with child.

"If you even try to leave, this child will die." He smirked. "We start tomorrow."

With that, everyone left and the only thing that remained was the sadness of your heart and Ben Solo.

"I didn't even know Ben!" You cried. He was just as heartbroken, enraged also.

He held you in his arms as you sat on the floor weeping. Ben held onto you as he processed everything that just happened.

After a moment, you stopped crying and realized what needed to be done.

"I will kill that man. If darkness is what he wants, then darkness he shall have." You looked at Ben. He felt the anger inside you, it stung him. 

"We can't give into the dark, [Y/N]..." Ben said holding your hand.

"I won't join the dark side, I'm just going to use its power." You said sternly.

"How?" Ben questioned.

The next morning you awoke. The surroundings felt the same. Except, next to your coat were dark grey clothes with a single sided lightsaber. You quickly prepared yourself. Before leaving, you glanced at the saber.

A moment later, you walked in the halls and saw Ben. He felt your presence and turned to face you. 

So beautiful, you thought.

You grabbed his arm and walked with him to the same room you were in yesterday.

When you arrived, you were split up on opposite sides of the room. 

"Let the training begin" the old man said.

Each side fought each other. The dueling was intense, nothing like what you used to do. Although, you were still some what able to keep up.

You then found yourself and Ben alone. The fight was now between you two.

"I will not fight him!" You demand.

"Then we shall test your limits." He said and a huge rock was lifted and thrown towards your way.

Quickly, you used the force to keep it up but it was too hard. Ben was about to help when the students used the force to freeze Ben. This was your fight.

"The Light is too weak!" The man yelled, "Use your feelings!"

You started to grunt, he was using more force to push it closer to you.

"Use the dark side of the force! Use your anger!" He roared.

You yelled and felt your feelings take control. 

The rock started to crack and it was shaking. You let out a loud grunt and the rock obliterated into very small pieces.

Everyone watched in shock. You were panting uncontrollably.

The students released Ben and he quickly rushed to your side.

"Good..." He croaked, "Good."

He motioned for a student to come to him and he whispered something in their hear.

"You have surprised me [Y/N]," The man spoke aloud with a smile on his face.

You looked up and finally gained back some air. 

"You may be ready sooner than expected." He smiled as he walked out.

"Ready for what?” You questioned.

"To be our next Sith Lord." He answered as the other students followed him.

The lightsaber ignited and its red color lit up the young boy’s face. He stared at it in awe as he admired the beauty of the deadly weapon.

"How did you get your hands on this?!" Ben demanded, stealing the lightsaber away from his son.

"I found it.” The child spoke. “Maybe it was-"

"It was something I found one day." Ben cut him off. Ben stared at the disignighted lightsaber. A tear fell down his cheek as he thought about you and how things were before everything happened. The young child stared at his father intently before Ben wiped the tear away and looked back at his son. “You need to rest now.”

Ben Solo and his son left to their beds and quickly fell asleep. It was dark.

Kylo Ren...

Ben woke up quickly.

Kylo Ren...

He went to see if his son was still asleep. Ben watched for a moment to see that his son was peacefully sleeping.

His Majesty, Ben Solo.

Ben frowned and walked outside, careful not to wake up his son.

"Good, you’re awake..." A feminine voice spoke.

Ben flinched and turned to face a woman in dark red clothes.

“[Y/N]?!” Ben’s voice cracked. "You’re still alive..." 

"Of course I am Ben." [Y/N] walked to him and hugged him tightly.

"Why have you come?" Ben pulled away slowly. He looked behind you to see the ship you came in. He looked back at you to see your desperate eyes.

"To see my son. You took him from me. I was being trained and you left me there..." You furrowed your eyebrows as you recounted the painful memories.

"You didn't want me!" Ben yelled back.

"I got a feeling that it's time to let go..." You said softly, reaching for his hand.

He quickly took a step back.

"I've come because I want us to start over," You said again, trying to buy him over.

Behind Ben you heard the door open. A small boy appeared and your eyes grew watery. All the years and things you missed came back to you.

The young boy quickly ran to hide behind Ben. 

"Is that mom?" He asked quietly and Ben slowly nodded.

You couldn't stop staring at him. He must've been eight years old by now.

"Please come with me..." You begged.

"Why? You’re far too dangerous, and-" Ben paused, "I don't trust you."

Your heart broke. This was all you had left. After they beat you and trained you endlessly to be the next rising Sith, you had nothing else.

"Please," You started to cry, "I love you."

Ben looked at you with empty eyes.

You knew what you had to do.

Using the force you set them unconscious and laid them both gently on the floor. You connected all three minds together to share past memories and erase everything that happened with the Sith. 

All Ben will remember, is the past life you shared and the moment of a pregnancy, that never truly happened, and a heart felt love story. All their son will remember, is growing up with two parents and the moments they shared.

You cried once more before wiping your tears and awakening them once more.

"[Y/N], why are we here?" Ben questioned as he looked around at the foreign environment.

You smiled and said, "I'm not sure, let's go home." You kissed Ben and held out your hand for your son to grab.

"Mommy, when we get to the palace will you lay down with me again," the young boy asked with such a soft loving tone.

"Of course my baby," You smiled and picked him up. He laid his head down on your shoulder as Ben blindly boarded the ship with you. You smiled at them both as you began to navigate the ship away from New Alderaan.

Perhaps the biggest lie was a happily ever after.

[disneydreamlights]

Across the Stars: Epilogue

AO3 | FFN

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

Summary: Tensions between the Separatists and the Republic are climbing as the Senate debates whether there is need for an army. Anakin Skywalker, Senator of Tatooine, has recently returned to Coruscant to speak against its formation, resulting in an assassination attempt that forces him to reunite with long time friends Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and the newly knighted Padme Naberrie for his own protection. [Anidala]

A/N: Thank you to everybody who read this thus far. As I’ve mentioned on AO3 and ffn I do have plans to continue the roleswap into TCW, ROTS, and some of the stuff prior to AOTC at a future date. (Which has probably been clear by my NaNo given it’s ROTS roleswap.) If you have any requests for TCW arcs to touch on just let me know!

"Padmé, a word, please?" Padmé looked up, still fairly exhausted from the past few days, but slightly more functional than she had been as the pain from the attachment of her new arm was starting to ease, and so she had been weaned off of the painkillers and was finally working in more of a capacity than 'drug induced haze'. She wasn't surprised to see Obi-Wan in the medical rooms, he and Anakin had by far been her most frequent visitors on the rare times she was actually awake.

"Obi-Wan." Padmé pushed herself up off the bed, definitely trying to at least seem more alert than she actually was. "Am I in trouble?"

Obi-Wan chuckled. "Nothing of the sort, my dear Padawan." He sat down on the foot of her bed, but Padmé frowned. If she wasn't in trouble. "I wanted to talk to you about your mission to Tatooine."

"With Senator Skywalker?" She slurred, looking at him in confusion. "What about it?"

Obi-Wan hesitated, as though unsure whether he should bring it up at all. "Did something happen during it? Involving you and a certain young Senator?"

Padmé blinked, her brain still under the effects of the painkillers unsure of what she was hearing, or perhaps it was just her hoping that Obi-Wan hadn't picked up on what had transpired between her and Anakin. "What?"

"Padmé, we all know that Anakin has feelings for you." The honesty behind Obi-Wan's answer, caught her off guard. He wanted to know about her possible not even defined yet relationship with Anakin? "He has never made it much of a secret. Normally I'd presume the feelings are one sided, but I know you and him have always been...close. And the way he's acted during his visits, and even on Geonosis, aren't of a platonic nature." Padmé racked her brain, trying to remember through the drug addled haze of the past few days.

She knew Anakin had tinkered with her arm some, making it more responsive, but that couldn't have been what was cluing in Obi-Wan. They hadn't been significantly more physically affectionate than Padmé had been with any others who had visited. He'd grabbed her hand a few times, but there wasn't anything overly…

Right, he'd outright kissed her forehead, she'd nearly forgotten about that visit. Yeah, she wasn't going to be able to just lie her way out of this one, was she? "...they're not." She finally acknowledged. "Anakin is in love with me, and somewhere along the way I fell for him too."

Obi-Wan fell silent, his hand resting on his chin. "I see. I had a feeling something like this was coming. And I'm assuming he knows?"

She nodded. "On Geonosis...before we were going into the arena."

Obi-Wan sighed, and she prepared herself for the incoming lecture on attachments she knew was coming. "This can't go any further than it already has."

"I know."

Obi-Wan frowned, looking at the obviously guilty Padmé. "When you're fully recovered, you'll need to tell Anakin that the two of you cannot be together." For a moment, Obi-Wan gained a wistful look on his face, perhaps thinking back to another time. "You do not have to deny your feelings for him, my Padawan, but allowing them to continue to develop unchecked is against the code."

In that moment, she felt like a wayward apprentice rather than a freshly knighted Jedi, being scolded for breaking the rules she already knew. "We'll be too busy to try anything anyways right now." She responded after a moment. "We're going to have to become leaders in the war, and Anakin…" He was a senator. His goal was going to be stopping the war as quickly as he could. "I know he won't be free either. A relationship between the two of us would be destined for failure. I'll...I'll talk to Anakin about it when I'm finished recovering."

Obi-Wan smiled at her answer, and Padmé felt her stomach churn with the guilt that she had to lie. "I'm sorry it has to be this way, Padmé."

"I know." And she did. Obi-Wan was her mentor, her best friend. He'd chosen her over Anakin, ignoring Qui-Gon's final wish ten years ago, and even now he cared for her happiness so much. He was telling her exactly what she knew all along, that eventually, she would have to make a choice.

Except a small, selfish voice in her head whispered that she didn't.

-x-

A little over a week later, Padmé was released from the Halls of Healing with an all clear on her ability to use her new arm in and out of combat and the rest of her wounds having been fully healed. It was weird, having a metal prosthetic now. It functioned like a real arm, touched like a real arm, and yet…

Before she could continue contemplating it, Anakin put his hand on her new one, startling her and pulling her attention away. "So, you're finally all better, General Naberrie."

"Please don't call me that." It was bad enough that once she was shipped out she'd have to hear the clones call her it near constantly. Hearing it from her friend (boyfriend? Lover? What were they?) just made her feel worse. A reminder of the war she'd had a hand in starting, that they were all trapped in now.

A mischievous twinkle appeared in his eyes, and he smiled. "In that case, maybe I could suggest a new name to go with the title." She tilted her head, waiting for a response that he was only too happy to oblige. "General Skywalker."

"Are you hoping to get in on the war effort too, Ani?" She treated her question like it was a joke, but that didn't stop her heart from pounding as she realized exactly what he was implying, what he'd asked her with that statement.

"Me? No, my job is in the Senate, but my wife's job will be leading Clone Troopers in the Grand Army of the Republic." His confident smile became more nervous, as he looked up at Padmé with pleading eyes, betraying everything he wanted, everything he hoped for. "That is, if she'll have me."

"Anakin…" He waited for a moment, forever patient and understanding and willing to follow her lead for whatever they wanted. "You don't think it's too soon?"

Anakin simply smiled. "In the ten years since we've met, there's been nobody I've met who could even compare to you. If I could do it all over again, I would propose to you sooner."

Padmé closed her eyes, trying to remember Obi-Wan's warning. She'd lied to him about telling Anakin to break off what they had, but she'd figured she'd have had more time before having to make her decision fully between the Jedi Order and Anakin. "What about the war? I have to help lead Republic forces, I'm needed on the front lines, just like you're needed here. I can't leave the Jedi."

"So don't." It was as though Anakin had given the traitorous thoughts in her head a voice to finally speak with. "Stay with the Jedi until the war is over, and I'll be the husband waiting for you to come home, and doing what I can to make that war end faster." His eyes met hers, and she felt the same intense connection between them as she'd felt when they'd first reunited. Had that really only been a few weeks ago? "Please."

She kissed him as an answer they both knew to be yes.

-x-

The wedding itself had been beautiful, and the night afterwards held promises for both the week she would still be in Tatooine, and for the rest of her life so long as she remained with Anakin. Those thoughts were for later, however, as right now she was simply content to enjoy the feeling of her husband's arms around her, and the comfort he brought.

Husband. It still hadn't really sunken in yet that she and Anakin were now married to each other. That he would forever be hers and she would forever be his. And yet despite having only acknowledged their feelings for each other a few days ago, everything around her screamed that this was right. That it was where she was supposed to be, content, happy, and warm right in his arms. As she began to fall asleep, she heard Anakin speak. "I want you to take Artoo."

"Hmm?" She opened her eyes, and found herself looking right into Anakin's.

"I want you to take Artoo," he repeated. "He knows all of my tricks, and while I can't always be there to help you, he can. He's also an Astromech, and you'll have a lot more need for one in battles than I will."

Padmé nodded, surprised at the offer, but appreciative nonetheless. "Thank you, Ani." If he was giving her a droid as a wedding gift, surely she had something she could…

She wiggled out of his arms, Anakin giving her a look of confusion as she went over to her robes. "What are you looking for?"

She reached out into her pocket and pulled out the Kyber Crystal. There were already plans for her to go to Ilum to get a new crystal. The Jedi had all assumed with her lightsaber gone, the crystal too had been destroyed. "If you're giving me Artoo, I want you to have this."

"The crystal you grabbed on Geonosis?"

"It's a Kyber Crystal...the one that powered my old lightsaber." She smiled, and placed the small blue crystal in his hand. "Obi-Wan and I are going to get a new one before I go out into the field, so I figured if I'm not using my old one…"

"It's perfect." He smiled. "That way, I'll always have a piece of you with me." And she knew right away that Anakin meant it. That he would treasure the small crystal forever, just as she did the tiny piece of carved wood a little slave boy had given her all those years ago. He put the small crystal on the nightstand by the bed, and it wasn't long before they had returned to their prior position in each other's arms.

The world outside would be ready for battle, a battle in a week they would be rejoining as Senator and Jedi, but for now the outside world didn't matter. It was just the two of them.

"I love you, Ani."

"I love you too."

-x-

In the bowels of the Senate building, deep underneath Coruscant, Count Dooku arrived in his ship, undetected by the remainder of the Coruscant. He had a mission, and it would be unwise to let his master down. "The Force is with us, Master Sidious."

The hooded figure smiled, Sidious, smiled. "Welcome home, Darth Tyrannus. You have done well."

"I have good news for you, my lord. The war has begun." Everything had gone exactly as Sidious had predicted. Dooku handed him the file he had collected from the Geonosians, and Sidious uploaded them into the system.

Sidious smiled as he looked at the plans within the database. "Excellent. Everything is going as planned."

In the Jedi Council chamber deep within the temple, Yoda, Mace Windu, and the newly elected Obi-Wan Kenobi stood together, troubled as Obi-Wan finished giving his report to the other two council members. "Do you really believe what Dooku said, about Sidious controlling the senate?" It was hard for Obi-Wan to wrap his head around, at least. "It doesn't feel right."

Yoda frowned. "Joined the dark side Dooku has. Lies, deceit...creating mistrust are his ways now." Obi-Wan could only imagine what the Grandmaster of the council was going through, right now. Yoda was Dooku's master, after all, and if Padmé fell to the dark side, he wasn't sure he would be able to face it either.

"Nevertheless, I feel we should keep a closer eye on the Senate," Mace said. He was right. If Dooku was lying, no harm was done. If he wasn't, then keeping one eye on the Senate might be the only thing that could stop them from meeting an early end.

"I agree." Yoda nodded, and the matter was settled. If Padmé hadn't yet broken Anakin's heart, perhaps the Senator would be willing to help them in this matter, but that was a matter for another day, another time, when she wasn't escorting Anakin back to his home.

"I must admit, without the clones, it would not have been an easy victory." Obi-Wan looked to his fellow masters to thank them for the help they provided, but before he could say more, Yoda spoke.

"Victory? Victory, you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen."

"Begun the Clone War has."

[azwriting]

hi!!! pls can u write something where kylo/ben used to have a woman in his life that he loved dearly and so did she but she had to leave him when she failed repeatedly to pull him to the right side and once he redeems himself (lets say reylo kept it platonic ahsjsj) he goes back to find her and its a super emotional romantic reunion

What We Used to Be (Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader)

This turned into a mini book and I’m not even sorry about it lol. I hope you enjoy anon! 

Warnings: Mentions of death, TROS Spoilers (ish..), unedited

Word Count: 3957

(Y/N) looked up to the blue sky watching as many Resistance members and allies landed on the green covered Ajan Kloss. Relief flooded her at the sight, the frightening threat of the Sith Lord Emperor Palpatine had been defeated along with the Final Order, that had merged with the First Order. The war was over, but the gleeful moment was short lived, her concern for the Supreme Leader of the now defeated First Order was overpowering. She could not help it, after all this time she still cared for him.

“Your Highness?” (Y/N) turned away from her balcony overlooking the lush scenery of her home. Mila, her young handmaiden stood behind her with perfect posture and gentle eyes. 

Ever since the neighboring system issued a threat, everyone had been impossibly formal and sympathetic to the young princess. After all her life had been threatened by the neighboring system in the hope they could gain control of the small yet vivacious planet. But, she was over the constant belittling and the assumption that she was afraid, when in fact she was not. No she was quite the opposite, she was annoyed, this threat only hindered her life. 

“The Jedi Knights are here.” (Y/N) nodded and turned away from the balcony to follow Mila. 

“Let’s not mention to my parents that I was out near the balcony again.” She whispered as the two moved towards the main hall. 

Mila smiled, “Of course Princess, I saw no such thing.” (Y/N) laughed, silently thanking the young girl. If her father knew she was risking exposure at a time like this, he would not be pleased.

Down in the front foyer of the palace, stood both her parents alongside two brown cloaked figures. (Y/N) could not make out much from behind, only that the figure with ebony curls was much taller than the graying man. 

“Ah Master Skywalker may I introduce you to my beloved daughter, Princess (Y/N)?” Her father spoke up, gesturing for the two men to turn. 

(Y/N)’s eyes raked over the two Jedi Knights, a short older man with intense blue eyes and a graying beard and the surprising black haired Jedi. He had beauty marks scattered across his pale skin, a strong prominent nose, full lips, and warm eyes that enchanted her with just one look. He was far more handsome than any suitor she had met or quite frankly would ever meet. His eyebrows seemed to lift in shock at the sight of her as well, a coy smile falling onto his lips. They both bowed before her and in return (Y/N) lifted the delicate lace of her dress to curtsey. 

“Princess (Y/N) might I just say it is an honor to meet you, even under such unfortunate circumstances.” Master Skywalker smiled looking over to the towering young man, (Y/N)’s eyes flickering over as well. “This is my padawan and nephew, Ben. He will be your personal guard while I focus on bringing an end to these horrid threats and unnecessary violence.” 

(Y/N) nodded offering her hand in gratitude, “Thank you Master Skywalker, I’m pleased to know all of this overbearing attention will be over soon.” His padawan, Ben, stifled laughter which earned him a glare from Skywalker. (Y/N) only smiled, she was looking forward to having him as her own personal guard. He was simply alluring, were all Jedi in the New Order like this? 

“No.” His deep voice answered, startling her. Had she spoken aloud? Or had he heard her? Was mind reading a Jedi trick? He only seemed to smirk at her visible shock until his uncle chastised him. 

“Ben, behave!” The young man’s eyes moved away from her and down onto his Master, slowly nodding as if this was a constant argument between them. (Y/N) could see it in his brown eyes, the rebelliousness, snark, and confidence, but it was unlike any entitled prince she met. No, Ben had more hidden beneath layers, something that enticed her even more. 

“Mila please show Ben around, (Y/N) you may accompany them as well.” Mila gestured for the two of them to follow and (Y/N) and Ben fell into step, keeping a close distance to one another, eyes shifting over ever so often. 

Master Skywalker sighed turning to the King and Queen, “I promise he will be on his best behavior, he is highly skilled with the Force and therefore will keep the Princess safe.” 

The Queen only chuckled eyeing her daughter down the hall, observing the young Jedi with a smile. “I’m not worried about him, I’d be more worried about what she’ll do.”

Poe and Finn embraced tightly, Rose and Chewie hugging as well, in the sea of celebrating Resistance heroes. A part of her wanted to be celebrating and embracing one another as well, but she could not push away the overwhelming fear encasing her heart and turning her stomach to led. Backing away from the crowd, (Y/N) hid in the tree coverage, her fear making long locked away memories resurface.

The sun was warm against (Y/N)’s exposed skin as Ben and her drifted through the hidden gardens overlooking the small city. The city seemed to glisten as if it was made from gold or as Ben described it, Kyber crystals. It had been a few weeks and the neighboring system was still at large, Master Skywalker doing his best to bring an end to them quickly. Perhaps she should have been growing impatient with the process and constant protection, but on the contrary, she was rather… pleased? 

It was wrong to find this situation joyful, especially with her life in danger, but she found joy in knowing Ben. Her protector was charismatic but still a bit timid as if he was holding back at certain points. Although unlike others who only ever obeyed and agreed with her, Ben kept her on her toes, never backing down from her. He treated her like a human being, instead of royalty and she quite liked it. 

“May I asked you something personal?” Ben suddenly spoke, eyes darting down to hers nervously. (Y/N) smiled and nodded in confirmation, she trusted him already in their short time together. “Do you want to become Queen?” 

The question was a bit surprising but she did not find it to be intrusive, not from him, and she knew her answer would be safe with him. “No, not particularly.” Ben seemed to not be shocked by her answer but urged her to elaborate. “I want to find more purpose to life than this, my planet has been prosperous since the end of the Empire, they do not need a Queen.” 

Ben stopped in his tracks, “But what about your family legacy?” (

Y/N) chuckled looking up to him, “My family legacy does not dictate who I choose to become, besides I’m positive that we could benefit from a democratic system instead.” 

Ben groaned dropping his head backwards, “You sound like my mother!” (Y/N) giggled into her fingers watching him intently. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Ben’s head lowered back down to grin a genuine smile at her. His right hand outstretched to graze across her hand by her side, the soft caress sending goosebumps up her exposed arms despite the humid summer air.

 “No, surprisingly not.” The two held each other’s eyes, an undeniable chemistry between them, but a Jedi and a Princess, was it even possible? They seemed to forget about the things keeping them apart, stepping closer and closer…

A red blast shot past them, tearing them out of their trance. 

Ben looked to the unsuspecting horizon before looking back to her in fear. He was quick, faster than she had to process everything, tackling her to the ground. Ben’s large body hovered above hers, their noses pressed roughly into each other, wide eyes never leaving each other. 

“Your Highness!” Voices rang all around them, but they were drowning in the sound of continuous blasts hurling from each side. Ears ringing, (Y/N) could not focus on one single thing as she felt Ben pull her up and place he into the security of palace guards. She allowed for them to push her back towards the safety of the palace, but it was only when she heard a strange hum burst over the echoing blasts that she awoke from her stupor. 

Twisting in the guards grips she saw her protector holding his blue lightsaber, ready to fight. “Ben!” (Y/N) struggled against the guards, she could not leave him. His brown eyes flickered back to her and she swore she could see her own fear reflected in them. 

“Go! I’ll be fine!” A part of her did not believe him, but she had to. She would be no assistance if she stayed to help, only a hinderance. (Y/N) could not find the words to say, only nodding numbly and allowing herself to be whisked away to safety.

Later that evening, (Y/N) paced back and forth in the confines of her chambers, surely ruining the carpet. She did not care though, her mind only whirling around her worry. It had been too long, the orange sun setting just beyond the horizon, and yet she still had not been informed on anything. The palace was on lock down and she was forbidden from leaving the barricaded room, leaving her with no knowledge as to what was happening beyond her walls. For all she knew the neighboring system had taken over and were currently plotting on how to dispose of her. Yet as she chewed on her nails, her thoughts kept spinning around Ben. The last she had seen him was hours ago as he readied himself to fight the mercenaries. She had no clue if he was alright and she feared for the worse. She would not be able to fathom if something happened to him… not because of her.

Her door suddenly barged open, scaring the life out of the princess. Her dominant hand flung out gripping her silver letter opener, preparing to defend herself if necessary. The first thing she saw was intense brown eyes raking over her figure, before it dawned on her who it was. 

Ben stood heaving in the doorway, sweat clinging to his face and hair, eyes filled with concern. (Y/N) let out a jagged breath, “Ben!” She dropped her letter opener and ran into his arms, the padawan lifting her off the ground as they clung to each other desperately. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Are you okay?” 

They both asked, weakly laughing at the end. (Y/N) pulled back to examine Ben’s face, her hands pressing into the soft skin of his face. 

“Are you alright? I was so worried.” She tried again, drinking in the feeling of him beneath her fingers. Ben let out a huff of amusement, pressing her tightly against him. 

“Foolish Princess, why would you be worried about me? Your life is the one in danger.” (Y/N) shook her head in defiance, eyes never straying from his. The intensity of his look had her feeling dizzy, a sweltering heat burning beneath her skin, as if thousands of invisible tendrils of fire had erupted across her. 

“I care for you and you are out there risking your life because of me, how could I not be worried?” Ben only smiled, moving a hand up to stroke her hair, oh how he set her aflame… 

“You care about me?” She laughed, of course he would only focus on that part. 

“Of course, I’m afraid I might be falling in love with you Ben Solo.” He inhaled sharply, not expecting her confession. 

“I think I am to-” (Y/N) cut him off, hand grasping his neck firmly and pulling him into an eager kiss.

From the jungle coverage, (Y/N) watched as a dated X-Wing landed amongst the other spacecrafts. A battered looking Rey emerged from it, her eyes scanning the crowd in search of her beloved friends. Rey eventually found Poe and Finn, and the three engaged in a tearful embrace. But she paid no mind to them, instead her eyes lifting to the blue sky where another spacecraft began its descent. It was an old beat up TIE fighter and without so much as a second thought, (Y/N) emerged from the coverage, eyes locked on the sky in hope. Fear should have rose in her at the sight of a TIE fighter like any other Resistance fighter, but she had none. No hope blossomed in her like a garden returning to life after a harsh winter.

(Y/N) sat at her desk, readying herself to send a hologram to Ben. It had been a few months since she had last seen him, Master Skywalker putting an end to the mercenaries a tad too quick for both their likings. Yet, they still tried to keep in touch as much as possible with Ben’s increasingly vigorous training and her prep to become Queen. 

Ever since she admitted to Ben that day in the garden, the duties of becoming the next Queen seemed to weigh on her. She no longer felt this was her place, a strange part of her wanting to be out fighting and helping people in different ways. As the whispers of a new Empire seemed to spread across the Galaxy, word also spread of a new Rebellion forming, a seemingly perfect calling. Her parents would understand if she denied to take the throne and as she had told Ben in the garden that day, moving away from the Monarchy could be a good thing. And if they refused to restructure the government, she had plenty of benevolent and loved cousins to take her place. (Y/N) planned on telling Ben in her hologram that she would be leaving her home planet in hopes to join the new Rebellion, and then maybe they could be closer.

 A gentle knock arose from outside her chambers, before Mila’s small face poked through the doors. “Your Highness?” (Y/N) smiled gesturing for her to enter all the way, missing the somber expression the handmaiden wore. “My Lady, I’m afraid I bring grave news.” She turned back to face Mila, noticing the faint tears that had gathered in the young woman’s eyes. (Y/N) trembled, rising from her seat to stand before the girl. 

“Tell me.” Mila watched her with apprehension, her fingers ringing around her wrists. 

“I’m sorry to inform you, but we received word that the Jedi temple was destroyed two nights ago.” She inhaled sharply, hand raising to clutch her dress right above her heart. (Y/N) searched Mila’s eyes, silently begging for more details, needing to hear that he was okay. Tears escaped down Mila’s cheeks as she continued, “There were no survivors…” 

(Y/N) let out a loud sob as she crumbled down to the floor. Her hand flew up to try and muffle her cries as she shrunk into herself in grief. Ben was gone! Her Ben was dead! She felt thin arms cautiously wrap around her and she looked up to find Mila trying to comfort her. (Y/N) only shifted into the young woman and sobbed harder. 

Her Light was gone…

(Y/N) and Mila ran down the hallways of the palace, heading for the exit. Loud ships screeched by and outside they could hear the sound of thunderous marching. Flying down the stairs, Mila ran to the left but (Y/N) haltered in her sprint. 

Outside the large window, she could see men in white armor marching around, blasters secured tightly in their hands… Stormtroopers. She had heard stories of them from the reign of the Empire, but she never thought that she would see one in her lifetime or ever. But her stomach turned to led at the sight of a masked and cloaked figure as black as night marching behind them, a red headed man stiffly beside him. 

The First Order that rose from the ashes of the Empire was wreaking havoc on her people. (Y/N) gulped feeling the same stupor from the day she was almost killed come over her. A hand tugged on hers and her wide eyes turned to find Mila pleading for her to follow. (Y/N) shook her head, her inner strength rising, she wanted to protect others and this was her chance. 

“Mila you have to go, get everyone you can to shelter. I have to go.” 

Mila shook her head, “No Your Highness, what if they kill you?” 

“I’m not Queen yet, its okay.” Mila continued to protest, but (Y/N) only gently placed a hand to her friend’s face. “I have to try and at least protect my people. Now go, I hope to see you again some day.” And with that (Y/N) freed herself from the girl’s grip and ran out the front entrance.

She was outside for only a mere minute before the two Stormtroopers caught sight of her and quickly secured a tight grip on each of her arms. Mutely she allowed them to lead her to the stiff redhead and towering black figure. 

“General Hux, Commander Ren we’ve located the Princess.” The redhead eyed her with a small smirk before turning to the masked man. 

“I see the appeal, Ren.” The menacing Kylo Ren she had heard whispers about turned to look down at the thin General, his black glove creaking as he clenched his fists. 

Hux turned away from Kylo Ren to face her with a sneer, “So you are the beloved Princess?” (Y/N) only nodded, eyes narrowing as she glared at the two men. “Have you come to negotiate peace?” 

“You could say that.” As she spoke, Kylo Ren seemed to stiffen his head ducking down momentarily. She eyed him warily before returning her attention back to Hux. 

“Well in exchange for the safety of your people, we luckily have a proposition for you.” (Y/N)’s eyes widened, she did not expect it to be so easy to negotiate the security of her people, and unfortunately she was willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary to guarantee that. 

A hum of amusement sounded from the depths of Kylo Ren’s mask and she turned to him harshly wondering what he found so humorous. “Are you betrothed?” 

The question made (Y/N) stumble back into the hard armor of the Stormtroopers. What was she getting herself into? 

“Answer the question.” Kylo’s voice was deep, distorted, and oddly familiar. She could not place where she knew it from, no she would need more than three words to figure it out. 

“N-No I am not. My love died over two years ago.” 

Kylo shifted closer at her words, “Did he?” 

He spoke again and this time she only nodded, eyes looking up to his mask. Something was tugging at her mind, trying to tell her who he was. “Did you mourn?” 

(Y/N) scoffed at his words, “Yes, but he is still with me in my heart.” 

He stepped closer, hovering above her now, “Is he now?” She did not enjoy his condescending questions, but with such close proximity she could not think straight. She felt something inside her that she thought had died long ago. 

“Ben?” She whispered. At the name she uttered, he staggered back trying to regain composure. Oh what had happened to her Light?

 General Hux rolled his eyes at them before continuing, “Come with us and the First Order guarantees the safety of your planet.” (Y/N)’s eyes flickered back over to Kylo who now avoided her gaze, a telling notion in it. With every ounce of strength she could muster up, she agreed. For her people and to save Ben.

Six months. (Y/N) had been on a Star Destroyer for six months attempting to turn Ben back to the Light, but she found that Snoke had dug his claws into him too deep. During these past long and dark months, she never once saw his true face. She was denied the right to look upon him, upon the real Ben Solo, only ever being granted with the presence of Kylo Ren. He never hurt her but everytime he refused to come back to the Light it was as if he had dug his blazing red saber through her heart. Ben had claimed she did not know the Force like him and in truth she did not, but she had known him, her amazing Light. 

She could not stay with him as she had promised, she had to risk her life to leave. She would never risk it though if she did not know her people were safe and they were. Mila had sent her a coded message a few weeks ago informing her they had slipped away one night finding refuge on Naboo, away from the control of the First Order. The only thing left was escaping.

 Staring out at the stars from the confines of her room, (Y/N) knew she could not reunite with her kingdom, she needed to find her place somewhere else, somewhere she truly belonged. Being with the First Order, she knew the horrible things they had done and why the galaxy needed more people to rebel against them. Standing abruptly she began to pack a bag with a few of her belongings, knowing she belonged in the Resistance, just as she had planned years ago.

She left one day when he was on a mission. It was oddly easy to escape and she had a sneaking suspicion it was on purpose, to break another piece of Ben Solo. It took time to find the Resistance, but when she did, it was worth it. Her story had gained the attention of the late General Organa and earned her a place in the Resistance, with a cause she believed in.

Looking up she heard the hiss of the TIE fighter door open, revealing a dark set of curls. She did not control her feet anymore as she pushed through the crowd of Resistance’s members, craving another look upon the man inside the ship. A tall dark figure climbed down from the ship, head down in hiding. But she knew his other features like the back of her hand. She had spent their days on her home planet memorizing them and how he felt beneath her hands. 

“Ben!” 

His body went rigid, head whipping up to look at her. He looked worn to the bone, but more alive than she had ever seen on the Star Destroyer. He looked like he did when he was simply her charismatic protector. His warm eyes held onto her as they rushed forward to each other, colliding roughly. Her hands were splayed out across his back pressing him as close as she could, breathless from their impact. 

“I’m so sorry! I should have listened to you, I should have come back to you.” Ben cried into the junction between her neck and shoulder. Tears streamed down (Y/N)’s face as she tried to soothe him, enthralling the feeling of him in her arms once again. She never thought the day would come. 

Reluctantly pulling back, (Y/N) wiped away the tears streaking across his grit covered cheeks. “You’re here now.” She laughed out through her own tears. Ben smiled at the sound of it, his arms tightening around her. 

“Foolish Princess, still worrying about me?” 

“Of course, I’m afraid I’m in lov-” He cut her off their mouths colliding messily, the world disappearing around them. (Y/N) could only smile into the kiss, her Light, Ben Solo, had returned to her.

Taglist: 

@sporkedlooser

[korpuskat]

Rating: Gen/Teen Word Count: 4,716 Summary: Kylo and the Knights must retrieve a limiter for your Lightsaber. You must oversee the newly reinstated General Hux- but how can you oversee the man who was once your commander? Contains: No serious CWs necessary.  New to the series? Start here.

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“We have the crystal, but it needs a limiter. It is on Vincul.” He says, pointing to a diagram in the <i>book</i> you had poured over for weeks. On the flimsi, a faded sketch stares back at you. You know well enough that your saber would need a limiter, that was not the issue. He already knows that. “The raw power of a kyber crystal is not naturally shaped as a lightsaber.”

You move around him and huff, “That doesn’t explain why I have to stay behind. It is <i>my</i> saber we need it for.”

“General Hux is being reinstated.” Kylo does not look at you as he moves about his quarters. He even spare you a look as he brushes you off. “The Supreme Leader wants a Knight to oversee him, to prevent any further unnecessary losses.”

“I’m <i>not</i> a Knight.” You spread your arms out, frustration manifesting. “I’m not even a <i>soldier,</i> I barely got more training than the engineers. I was a translator, I sat at a desk, I don’t know anything about war stratagem. How am I supposed to oversee him when I don’t know what I’m looking for?”

This time, Kylo turns.

You wish he was wearing his mask.

His stare goes cold from across the room, makes your arguments dissolve like bitter medicine on your tongue. Ice settles in your stomach- the sensation of running water over your hand. “Hux will not make any important decisions today-” You swallow, open your mouth to form some protest, but Kylo continues.<i>“And if he does,</i> you have training as a Knight. The Force will guide you.”

He stares you down with the gold-rimmed eyes, the straightness of his back daring you to continue to defy him. There’s no trace of the <i>softness</i> between you in his mind; his meeting with Snoke at the start of the cycle refreshed his carefully held control. How he can push those feelings so far down, you can’t understand. You know well enough they’re still there- itching to come to the surface, yet still buried under Kylo’s overwhelming will, his desire to find his place in the galaxy. There’s no point in arguing with him like this, no point in resisting his command. ”Alright, Kylo.”

You pull on the outer layer to your robes as Kylo puts on his mask. You watch as the mole-dotted face you’d come to love disappears under the anonymous metal. Your face reflects distorted in the chromium rings; you aren’t sure who looks back at you. He stands by the door, the subtle tilt of his mask the only sign he’s waiting for you. What other choice do you have- did you ever have?

In the hallway, officers and troopers alike step aside for Kylo’s storming pace. It takes little to touch one blonde ensign’s mind, to feel the cold terror and deeply hidden <i>curiosity</i>.

You can't blame her. You used to be one of them. Just one of a sea of matching uniforms, watching Kylo cut through the crowds like a dark knife, wondering who exactly was under that mask, if the rumors of his power were true. Now you follow in his wake, trailing through the hallways of the <i>Finalizer</i>. Maskless, you feel exposed- those that had been your shipmates become onlookers, spectators to your ascension to Knighthood. Some of them knew you-

They’d gossiped about Ren, about your relationship. What would they think when he kills you?

The crowd at the lift is already separated, but splits further as a wave of faces turn to look at the Master of the Knights of Ren and you. As they part, you see what had caused them to gather to begin with: on each side of the metal turbolift doors, stands two black-clad Knights. They turn towards you as you approach; Xeni's hands landing on her hips, accentuating the skewed angles of her robes.

Your blood runs hot at the sight of Enki Ren’s skull mask, tension gathers around your shoulders. Unbidden, the first tingle of power manifests at your fingertips.  The empty eye sockets don’t even look at you, focused entirely on Kylo. “Is it not wise to leave a trained Knight in control of this ship?”

Your nose wrinkles and you want so badly to be stronger, just to make him <i>wrong.</i>

“Are you questioning me, Enki Ren?” Kylo’s modulated voice makes you shiver, only in part from your last training session. Some part of you is still grateful that he <i>does</i> believe in you- or at least is pretending to. “Do you wish to join your predecessor?”

Any appreciation for him freezes. Any emotion falls from your face as the gears turn. Well-drilled training alone keeps you from projecting: <i>predecessor?</i> Kylo’s mask barely tips towards you, the barest tilt giving any indication he heard you.

Xeni’s mask slides between Kylo’s mask and your face, her shields held so tight you can't make out anything of her emotional response. Her squared mask is unreadable, but just barely angles towards Enki as he speaks again.

Enki Ren doesn’t falter, unphased by the hardly veiled threat. “Of course not, Master Ren.” You want to punch him. To knock that mask off his head and to rip those tentacles right off his face and-

“Then we shall go planetside.” Kylo's gloved hand retrieves your bounty from a hidden pocket in his layered robes. Against the black synthleather, the crystal pulsates, glows a deep magenta from within. “The crystal is... unique. Bonded to my apprentice and usually powerful. A limiter that will accommodate it will be on that planet.”

He hands the crystal to you, but you can barely take your eyes off Enki’s mask. As touch the kyber, your body becomes a circuit; power flowers through you, warm and familiar, makes your skin tingle from your fingertips to your shoulder. Darkness runs through your veins and you push it down, dropping the crystal into your robes.

Bootfalls click across the floor, crisp and pristine- and you don’t even have to brush against his consciousness before you feel the indignation wafting from his mind. “And I assume you have your mystical <i>Force</i> to thank for your intelligence?” Hux's clipped tone is familiar, grounding- you’d hardly seen him since the failure of Starkiller. Imagined repercussions had haunted him- and from all you knew of the Supreme Leader, his survival is as unexpected as his reinstatement.

As carefully guarded as Kylo’s response is, you’re just close enough to feel the irritation roll off him, yet it is Xeni Ren’s Force-voice that answers. “The First Order is <i>founded</i> on mysticism, General Hux.”

Hux flinches, his brow pinching at the strangeness of Xeni’s power. As removed as you are from Kylo's mind, the muscles around your mouth twitch as Kylo's lip twists and lifts at Hux's discomfort.

Any further confrontation is cut short; the platform rises through the transparent tube, black metal shining. The doors slide open and the three Knights of Ren step into the lift. Kylo’s cowl drifts as he turns to face outward- his mask dipping slightly, the only sign you have that he’s looking at you. You swallow and nod, whisper <i>be safe.</i>

The tip of his mask is hardly there, the only sign he's heard you. The doors slide closed, lowering the trio of Knights down to the hangar bay.

“Well then, <i>Knight,</i>” Hux spits, though you can hardly blame him, “we must oversee the bridge.”

“Yes, Sir.” The title bites at your lips, yet Hux hardly notices. You haven’t been a translator in a long time, even as you long for the ease of your previous life.

There’s no going back.

You follow at Hux’s heels; the lift just to the right opens. A handful of officers join you in the lift, greeting Hux with stiff salutes. They each look you over, then give you more space. You keep your eyes set forward, waiting for the indicator for your floor. The red lights click by, your weight shifting as the lift propels upwards- and you take a chance. The barest brush against Hux’s mind has your head spinning; thoughts race through, picking over the dozen things he has to do, a dozen times he prepares for your scrutiny, prepares for how you will try to interfere. A dozen ways he could fail.

You disconnect from him. The doors open, and from memory alone you make your way through sleek dark halls towards the bridge. It's almost how you remember it. It’s been some time since you’d last heard the bustle of techs and officers, seen the doors slide open and looked through the massive, triangular viewports. The last time- The last time the ship had been careening, blood spilling over your face, and Kylo had been--

Your head pangs in memory, aggravated by the increasing distance between you and Kylo Ren. His long time away with Snoke broke the worst of the symptoms of your separation, but you can still feel that strangeness- the empty, meaningless silence where he should be nestled in your skull, strong and dark in the Force-  as he drifts further down to the surface of the planet.

Your pace has faltered behind Hux’s and you shuffle to keep up with his brisk steps. The buzz of life, of activity around you is… stronger than before. Like every mind in the room, in the recessed area below- somewhere far away, they’re all speaking, all at once. You brow furrows, you scan the room-

“Distracted already, Lieutenant?” You startle, blink towards Hux. You flush at getting caught and- <i>Incompetent.</i>

A chill passes over you. You had worked so hard to impress Hux- tried to accommodate him and Kylo’s demands, stars, you’d transferred to the Finalizer on <i>his</i> order.

“The bridge feels different.” You say and pretend not to notice the derision in his eyes.

“How astute.” Hux motions towards an array on the port side of the room. “New shield generators were installed.” <I>after Starkiller.</i> The bitterness of his internal voice makes you wince- and catches Hux’s eye.

You nod quickly, “That must be it.”

The machines hum and vibrate beneath your feet, but they quiet when you close your eyes. You decide not to pursue it further.

You settle yourself with circling the bridge, giving Hux enough room to not constantly have his monologue droning on between your ears. All around you lights on panels flash, trained techs move across the controls, keeping the <i>Finalizer</i> just beyond Vincul’s orbit. And there, through the huge viewports, down past the monumental display of gray durasteel, the planet <i>Vincul</i> spins idly.

Its surface is covered in gray, churning storms, hundreds of miles across, hiding the low-built cities below their off-putting dark clouds. You shouldn’t worry, you know- Kylo has seen much worse than a <i>storm,</i> but you can’t help the sense of unease.

“General Hux,” A man salutes- and you hardly recognize him with how heavy and tired his eyes are. Mitaka hesitates and looks at you, the distrust rolls off him without you even having to brush his mind. Though you relate to his confusion on why, exactly, you’re accompanying General Hux, he corrects himself before he can raise Hux’s ire. “The Sector 8 Recon team has returned, they are ready to deliver their report.”

“Thank you, Captain Mitaka.” Hux dismisses him, though Mitaka waits a moment. He watches you, and you wonder what has changed, exactly, that makes Mitaka so uncomfortable now. He salutes Hux again and turns away-

Your fingers flex, your wrist turns- and Mitaka flinches as he walks. He presses a hand to his forehead- <i>-saved me before, but looks like him now…?</i> You break away from him. So long ago you had liked him, thought he was <i> cute.</i> Now what have you gained?

“I assume you’ll be attending this meeting as well.” Hux intones dully. You nod without looking at him. Mitaka walks back towards his post, still rubbing at his temples.

The debriefing room is smaller than expected, a few other officers gathered around a sizable holotable. A woman with dark hair pinned back taps at the controls. The officers already waiting step aside to make room for Hux- and the room quiets as they each, one by one, lift their gazes to look to you. That same unease slips over each mind, the whispers of <i>Who?</i> and <i>where’s Commander Ren?</i>

“Ren’s apprentice will be joining us.” Hux says, before his eyes harden and pointedly look at you. “The Knight is simply here to observe.”

You nod, he’s not… wrong. If Kylo was correct, there was little for you to worry about. This was simply to make sure Hux was still capable of handling his position, nothing actually serious.

You settle into one corner of the room as the pilot taps on the first star system. The map zooms, bringing up the circular display- an orange orb as the central star. “The Bedhal system had no signs of Resistance activity and is classed as low-risk. Karline,” She taps a lush, floral planet, which brings up another section of information. “Is still used for ground-based Stormtrooper training, but there is little other value in the system…”

You turn your attention away from the debriefing, casting a tendril of power out, and out- towards the faint signatures on Vincul’s surface. They’re far enough away the trio of Knights have blended together.

The holo moves back out to the multi-system map. The pilot taps a blue star. “The Scuulo system…”

You close your eyes, exhale slow. Kylo’s training passes over you: <i>Focus.</i> Count the inhale, hold it- feel the pressure in your chest. The life inside you, the power that flows in your veins, the immutable gray, pulsating with every beat of your heart-

And as you exhale, your hand moves of its own accord. The power reaches through the stars. Against the bright planet, teeming with innocent, unaware life, their signatures stand above the rest. They’re all together, in one city, each separated.

You ignore the blue and purples, seeking out Kylo’s comforting darkness. A single probe-

Kylo’s shielding rockets up, makes you recoil-

And his defenses relax. He says nothing, but the ghostly sensation of Kylo’s shoulders untensing makes your back ache. Shame takes you for a moment; you shouldn’t bother him. You both have your assignments… and you miss his presence beside you.

<i>Is it going well?</i> You try.

His hand tightens- dulled by his glove, metal bites into his palm, his fingers curled around something. Your hand mimics his, finding the ridges in your mind until you can picture the tiny cylinder in his grasp.

<i>Something is happening.</i> His Force-voice is dark and serious, the pride in finding the elusive limited negated in seconds. <i>Watch.</i>

Kylo’s shields snap closed- the disconnect so abrupt you gasp aloud, eyes snapping open.

A wave of eyes turn from the holo to stare at you, their emotional responses spitting annoyance, fear, concern- and your heart constricts in your chest. The pilot’s dark brows pinch together, eyes narrowing. Hux sneers-

And none of this is what has your mouth drying, your breath coming short.

The holo has changed. In the light of a blue sun, a planet teems with life, verdant and bathed in blood and <i>green.</i>

“Where is that?” Your voice shakes, hardly more than a whisper.

Hux can barely contain the indignant roll of his eyes, perfect teeth revealed as his lip curls. “Had you bothered paying attention, translator, you’d know it is of <i>low risk.</i>”

<i>Useless, worse than Ren--</i>

Your knuckle ache. Stupid, stupid and ignorant and stubborn- how can he not know? and you won't hide the bite in your voice this time. “Where?”

Hux’s eyes widen, the delicate seaglass wavering, one eyebrow raising in surprise- you'd dare speak against him? Rage replaces it in a snap- <i>Dare to upstage my meeting? </i>

“Varovani.” Heads swivel back towards the pilot again. “It was an outpost for the Empire. It was abandoned after the Battle of Endor, the New Republic never found it as far as we know. The First Order did not see it as tactically advantageous to recover and retrofit it. There's not any signs of Resistance activity in the system.”

A display of the outpost enlarged over the planet, a gray structure long covered in moss and decay- the info panel displaying words you can hardly parse.

“It’s important.” You swallow, “Keep a close watch on it.”

“What? There’s nothing of value there, it never saw any battle or resistance.” Hux spits.

Deep inside something pulls- the perfect, undeniable knowledge, that unwanted gift through the Force. It’s not <i>fair,</i> that orange-red grass had felt so real, the blood warm and wet and sticky-

“It will.” and that drives the knife in. So long fighting to create that future Kylo had seen and this- this is how it ends? Pain arcs through your palms, fingernails cutting to your palms. <i>No.</i> “There will be a battle there and we can’t-” You breath catches, <i>rage</i> boiling just below the surface. “We can’t let the Resistance win.”

Your chest heaves, your ears ringing- and the conference room is silent. Disbelief weighs over the room, omnipresent is the eyes that stare back. Except for one-

“...The RT Stormtrooper platoon has been on standby for a month.” Brigadier General Torosian lifts his chin, ignores the white hot glare from Hux. “An exploratory mission would be cheap enough, and the potential to recover Empire tech would substantially affect the cost/benefit ratio.”

“It’s an absurd fantasy.” The synthleather of Hux’s gloves creak as he motions vaguely. “The Resistance is not interested in Varovani and any tech we find will be thirty years outdated. I won’t approve of any expeditions.”

“Then Commander Ren will overrule you.” You step closer to Hux and his eyes are cold with fury. You would've wilted before him, but you can't afford to back down. You reach deep, think of every time you’ve witnessed Kylo in control- “Do you really want your first act after reinstatement to be overruled by a Knight?”

Hux’s jaw clenches, the muscles flexing under his fair skin. You don’t need to touch Hux’s mind to know how he’s cursing you. “Fine.” He turns on his heel back to Torosian, “A small unit, exploratory only. Focus on possible financial uses.”

Torosian nods sharply, makes a note on his data pad. “Yes, Sir.”

“Have you anything else to report, Captain?”

The woman shakes her head, “No, Sir.”

“Good. Dismissed.” Hux says, but does not move.

The tension in his shoulders only grows as each of his subordinates filters out, one by one. Torosian sneaks a look at you as he walks by, but you don’t bother reading his mind. You’re fairly sure what awaits you as soon as the last officer leaves and you are alone with your ex-commander.

And it is exactly as you expect. Hux turns towards you slowly, his hands held behind his back. The only display of his rage is the pinch of his brow, the tightness of his voice. “Do not <i>ever</i> threaten me in front of my men again. Kylo Ren may see something in you, but you are not a Knight.”

So many times before you had wilted to Hux’s demands. Yearned for his attention- the General in charge who had personally requested your presence on the<i> Finalizer. </i>

“You have not been my commander for a long time, General Hux.” Your voice shakes as you say it, but you must. That time has long passed, there is more on the line than just your commander’s approval. “You are in no position to tell me what I can do.”

His face smooths, his chin tipping up to look down his nose at you. His voice drops low and you can’t stop yourself from shivering. “Then you best prepare yourself to justify this pointless excursion to Leader Snoke.”

<i>Snoke.</i> Hux lingers just long enough to watch your expression falter. His lip pulls up just enough to smirk and you’ve never wanted so badly to slap him. With the reaction he wanted, Hux does not bother waiting for you as he leaves.

You understand now, why Kylo dons his mask.

You catch up to him just as his datapad dings. You don’t need to hear him speak to know what it says, what you missed in your risky outburst: the Force signatures have left the planet.

Hux stops to read the notification, but you stride past him, towards the lifts down to the hangar bay. “Coming, General?”

The scowl directed at the back of your head only makes you smile.

Against the backdrop of stars, the ship drifts, pivoting in place until its long wing extensions retract. Its image shifts, refracts as it passes through the bay shielding. The engines spit as they throttle down, the command shuttle lowering onto its landing gear, the boarding ramp extending. A mechanic, a woman in a gray jumpsuit with long, dark hair tied back rolls her eyes, sighs audibly at the engines' noises.

You know you should restrain yourself, all too aware of the relief you must be projecting, but you can’t quite bring yourself to bother. The clack of boots on metal makes your chest fill, and before you Kylo makes his way down, out of his ship. His cowl trails behind him, robes swaying with each step.

And two other pairs of legs descend the ramp. Every atom in you wants to collapse into Kylo’s arms, but any self-preservation you have left keeps you upright, your face falling into something hopefully neutral.

“I expect your mission was successful.” Hux says, “Because your apprentice has decided to make a mess.”

The chromium lines around Kylo’s visor reflect the stark lighting in the bay as his gaze falls to you. Even with your closeness, Kylo’s scrutiny still makes your stomach churn. In your pocket, you clamp your hand around the crystal, feel the energy flow through your palm. “It’s…”

Enki looms over Kylo’s shoulder, impossibly tall and staring down at you with his ghoulish countenance. You don’t need to be Force sensitive to feel that twisted grin at the mere <i>possibility</i> of your failure. Again, you feel that first curl of power around your fingers- and you direct it inwards. “It’s the green planet. <i>Varovani.</i> A recon team found it,” Kylo’s back straightens, his shoulders going stiff. You glance towards Hux, “and I advised Hux to send a team to investigate it further.”

Hux huffs, “Advised is-”

“So you use First Order resources to accommodate your fears?” Enki rasps, his modulator coming off deep and warbling. He takes a step forward, his heavy robes swaying- that skull mask moving ever closer, “Like a child, running from the inevitable.”

Kylo’s head turns sharply, but your chest is already frozen, suspended between terror and rage. “Enough, Enki.” He does not look to Hux as he continues, “My apprentice is right. This planet is worth investigating.”

Pride fills your chest- even as Hux grinds his teeth. Enki’s mask tilts ever so slowly toward Kylo, the empty eye sockets boring into Kylo’s back.

Xeni steps around them both and smacks Enki’s arm- you gasp. Hux’s eyes go wide. Neither of you breathe- and Xeni’s force-voice cuts through the silence. “Come on, let’s go, Enki. My robes are soaked.”

You can only imagine how Enki’s jaw clenches, but as Xeni continues walking, Enki’s massive shadow follows her.

Kylo’s mask tracks them as his Knights make their way to the turbolifts. Only when their dark robes disappear behind the shining black metal of the lifts’ doors, does Hux release the breath he’d been holding. His shoulders sag for only a moment before he pinches the bridge of his nose with his well-oiled gloves. Only when he’s taken a deep breath does he face Kylo again, “Then I suppose I have passed your inspection?”

And Kylo turns to you. You blink, look between them. Of course. You watched him, it’s your call. Hux knows it, too, yet he pointedly focuses on Kylo’s helmet. In your hands, Hux’s future waits for your decision. Is this how he felt, choosing to reassign you? Does it even occur to him, the power he holds over his inferiors?

Sweat never beads across Hux’s brow, his hands never shake as he waits for your judgement. He can’t hide the anxiety that rolls off his response, the way his heart beats heavy against his ribs. How <i>pointless excursion</i> runs through his thoughts over and over. Yes, you decide, he knows.

“Yes, General Hux commanded the bridge without incident. He is fit to be reinstated.”

Hux’s mind stops in its tracks, takes a moment to resume. He doesn’t know what to say- and settles instead for a single nod. He leaves, still numb, shocked-

“He disagreed with you. Tried to humiliate you.” Kylo’s modulator hisses. “Why?”

You press up against Kylo’s side- the dark fabric is still damp, but his natural warmth has saturated the cloth. You close your eyes, let your guard relax- reaching out to touch Kylo’s mind. He hesitates, but lifts his shields just enough. His presence calms your nerves, the worries of a green planet fading under his supernatural embrace.

“He’s capable.” You decide on. “He hated the Force before Starkiller and still hates it now… It’s honest. He won’t suck up to you.”

“To us.” Kylo corrects. He dives a hand into his pockets. In his gloved palm, a tiny metal structure waits. A shiny tube, threaded with ridges along the ends, the sides cut out, revealing a complicated inner structure. You take it, turn it over in your hands.

He guides you with one hand on the small of your back, leading you towards the lifts.

You don’t respond, hardly pay attention as you step into the elevator. <i>To us.</i> You’re a Knight- or soon will be. You’ll have a lightsaber, you’ll fight alongside Kylo Ren in battles. You’ll be stronger. Strong enough to handle it, to be what Kylo needs you to be. What you need to be.

The crystal in your robes pulses.

The doors open and you follow. You follow. Just barely trailing behind the Master of the Knights’ steps, leading you through the officers’ quarters. He stops before his door- and your heart stutters. The mask tips, his hand hovering over the touchpad.

You’re a Knight, you tell yourself. You can’t keep hiding.

<i>Kylo.</i> He opens the door and steps inside his quarters. He doesn’t move far, already reaching for the releases to his mask. You pursue him, chasing the cowl as it sways behind him.

He doesn’t face you- you don’t give him time. “You’ve killed a Knight before.”

<i>Yes.</i>

Your breath wobbles in your chest, choked up in your throat. You can’t go back. “Tell me.”

Kylo’s shoulders set, every muscle stiffening. Tension floods the room, would’ve suffocated you- and you reach out to him. The pads of your fingers touch the rough-hewn cape-

Kylo turns. The poisonous yellow ring of his eyes settle on you. “Why?” He snatches your wrist in one huge hand and you gasp, “What do you hope to learn?”

You open your mouth, but find no words. Kylo’s gaze pierces through you; heat of anger washes over you, but… Kylo doesn’t resist as you reach for him, splay your fingers over the black ripples of his surcoat. Beneath the anger- it’s something more and the iron will behind Kylo’s eyes waver. You close your eyes, lean into it, find that stream of thought just how you used to--

And it’s <i>anger</i> and <i>impatience</i> and he’s <i>tired</i> and it’s-

“Fear.” Your lips move on their own. “You’re afraid you’ll do it again.” Your rub your thumb over the seam of the surcoat, feel each thread against your skin. Your words catch on your tongue, but Kylo makes no move to answer. “I’ve been afraid so long.” And that yellow fades, Kylo’s long lashes lowering just a touch. You want so badly to touch his cheek, to trace where those moles connect over his face-- “I can’t let it control me anymore. So tell me.”

Kylo stays quiet for a long moment, his emotional response swirling and churning and all at once he nods. “Snow. His name was Snow.”

[strad-214]

Sunday, 06/07/2020 Lightsaber:

The crystal is the heart of the blade.

The heart is the crystal of the Jedi.

The Jedi is the crystal of the Force.

The Force is the blade of the heart.

All are intertwined: the crystal, the blade, the Jedi.

We are one.

 My favorite subject concerning the Jedi Order: Lightsabers, the most iconic weapon in all of cinematic history. Every chance I got—and provided I had the funds—I purchased toy lightsabers, replicas, and unlicensed stunt weapons wherever they were available; I must have at least eight of those Ultimate Lightsabers you could build yourself in Disney World at the Star Tours Gift Shop, I built one every time I went. You could also buy the kits in toy stores once upon a time, then Disney bought them and you could only make them there after that. I have yet to visit the new Galaxy’s Edge, I haven’t been to Disney World in quite some time.

When anyone thinks of the Jedi, in universe or not, they first think of their weapon; the lightsaber is the closest thing to a possession that the Jedi have. It is a direct reflection of their personality, fighting style, and personal beliefs. The lightsaber itself is as much a piece of art as is the fighting styles the Jedi have developed to wield their weapons, and I am only too happy to describe them to anyone at any given moment. Once again, I will be drawing most of my discussion from Old Canon and a little bit from Legends, particularly from The Jedi Path and the rpg game of Knights of the Old Republic and the mmorpg, The Old Republic. I personally find that the New Canon removes some of the intimacy involved in creating a lightsaber, but it is part of the Universe, so I will give it its fair analysis too.

Across most versions of canon, there are four key components to building a lightsaber: the emitter matrix, the lens, a focusing crystal, and a power cell. The emitter matrix is usually made up of a lightsaber resistant material, usually the metal called phrik, and houses the lens. The lens is what the raw energy passes through to form the blade and can be made from various different things such as high yield glass or other crystalline material. The focusing crystal, in old canon, was a crystal compound that was of organic and inorganic matter, the root element of which was kyber. There were several types of kyber crystals, including adegan kyber crystals found on Ilum. In Jedi vs. Sith, The Essential Guide to the Force (JvSEss.), some lightsabers were made using other crystals instead of those that were kyber based such as emeralds and diamonds. There are also some accounts that say you could use more than one crystal, up to three crystals to be specific, in order to form durable and potent blades. The crystal(s) are placed into a housing constructed to conduct the appropriate amounts of energy into the crystal(s). The power cell of the lightsaber was to be installed empty, with no charge. This was because the Jedi building the lightsaber was supposed to use the Force to charge the power cell according to JvSEss. The rest of the lightsaber is up to interpretation, the switch assemble, the emitter housing, the hand grip, the pommel; all these other components are constructed to the Jedi’s specific designs, making their weapon unique to all the others.

image by Chris Trevas

In building the lightsaber, a Jedi would assemble the components and meditate on the mantra: “The crystal is the heart of the blade. The heart is the crystal of the Jedi. The Jedi is the crystal of the Force. The Force is the blade of the heart. All are intertwined: the crystal, the blade, the Jedi. We are one.” As they did this, they would use the Force to telekinetically assemble the lightsaber, fusing the individual components at the molecular level as they went so that their lightsaber would become one entity. They would charge their power cell, align their crystal to the Force, and influence the lightsaber to take shape before them. Now, with a complete lightsaber at hand, the Jedi Knight may dispense justice and protect citizens across the Galaxy. In Old Canon—and according to The Jedi Path—Padawans would come to Ilum with their Master about midway through their partnership to build their first lightsabers. The lightsabers they carried before these would either be training sabers or ones gifted to them by their Masters once they were paired to each other. Now, having had enough training in applying telekinetics and knowing their fighting style and themselves better, they can make their own unique weapon. The Master would leave their pupil in the caves to select a crystal they liked—blue, green, yellow, or purple, not all were available in every cavern— then to select components they liked from the stores on site or build their own components, and meditate on their new weapon. In New Canon, Younglings, not yet Padawans, would join in a ceremony called The Gathering, where a Jedi Master would take the Younglings to Ilum in order to build their first lightsabers. Younglings had a limited amount of time to gather their crystals, as the frozen door to the caverns would melt open from the sunlight and refreeze over time as time grew closer to night. The Younglings couldn’t select any crystal, the crystal had to select them, already being attuned to the Force and attuned to the Youngling. They had to hear their crystal calling to them and face a trial that would teach them something about themselves in order to obtain it. Once the crystal was obtained, the Younglings would return to the temple and ride the Jedi Vessel named The Crucible back to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Aboard this ship, a Mark IV Architect Droid named Professer Huyang taught the Younglings how to build their lightsabers and provided them with components. The crystal color would become evident once the Younglings attuned them to the Force.

gif by me, sourced from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq8N4EAusL4 

I personally favor the version of Old Canon for lightsaber construction; it feels as though it has a lot more room for variety, independence of choice, and application of experience. The Force is supposed to guide our choices, meaning, follow your gut instinct: even if you attract to the role of a Jedi Consular, if you saw a gleaming, deep blue kyber crystal in the caves of Ilum and loved the way it looked, you could take that one to be your lightsaber crystal. Now, Jedi Consulars are known to have green lightsaber blades, but that doesn’t have to be law and it is stated all over both versions of Canon that the color doesn’t define the role of the Jedi, it defines their personality: Blue for those who are active, valiant, and are swift to action in the face of danger. Green for the patient and scholarly, those Jedi who are able to navigate the political battle field as well as the physical one, if not better than. Yellow for the Jedi who walks a fine line between civilian and protector, they often are sent out, undercover to hunt down agents of the Dark Side and are strong enough in their foundations to guard the Jedi from even their selves. Purple is for the Jedi who walks the fine line between the light and the dark, being able to summon strength from both sides without falling to either one in order to fulfill their role as a Jedi Knight. There are many more, but these are the most common. Given this analysis, however, Jedi Master Jocasta Nu, historian and librarian in the Jedi Archives, should have a green lightsaber, but something either made her pick a blue crystal or her crystal became blue (depending on which version you prefer), and that speaks volumes about her character.

In our real world, lightsaber technology is quite beyond our reach. However, in a thesis written by one Thomas William Noel at the University of Washington in 2014, creating a blade of solid energy was demonstrated to be possible. His experiments were conducted to see how a trapped Barium ion would react when spontaneously exposed to a positively charged photon. The result is that the two become entangled and form something like a solid wall of energy. Now, photons are particles representing a spectrum of light or other electromagnetic radiation. A photon carries energy proportional to the specific band of light’s frequency but has zero mass. Yet, when exposed to a specific variety of Barium Ion, the photon acts as though it has mass, acts as though it is matter, conversion of energy into matter without losing its properties of energy, a lightsaber blade. Barium is our kyber and photons are our Force. There are so many more applications far more practical than this, but the science is there. Perhaps, one day… (Source: https://depts.washington.edu/qcomp/pdfs/tom_thesis.pdf )

In the mean time, we have these:

I purchased my current lightsaber from UltraSabers.com; it’s a combination of three different models. The main body is the “Shock LE” model, the emitter is from the “Archon v2.1” model and the pommel is from the “Manticore Model”, the low grade version. The color of the blade is their guardian blue option, the switch lights up blue when activated, and I originally had sound on it. The speaker inside has since broken off when I beat the ever living hell out of a BB-8 piñata with it. This was after a couple years of love and usage. She still lights up brilliantly though… if I didn’t lose the batteries and the charger in a recent move. Between these two deterants and the fact that I’ve been eyeing other lightsabers, I think it’s time I’ve retired her.

I just recently purchased many components from Saberforge.com to construct a new lightsaber with. They have an adaptive saber component collection and their parts look far more movie accurate.

I can’t wait for the components to come in, I already have the emitter from a sale I jumped on ages ago. I like to admire it and dream of a brilliant blue blade coming from the end of it. I ordered a couple different pommels and switches so I can see what I like more on the finished product, but I like the way this 3D rendering looks the most so far. I got extra parts though because it’s one thing to see an image of it, and something else entirely to see it in person. Saberforge has really great stuff, they just take awhile to ship for some reason. So, if you don’ mind the wait, they’re an excellent company to get sabers from. UltraSabers also has really great products, very sturdy and lots of basic looks that you wouldn’t mind it if they got banged up. Like, I love the concept of my new saber a lot, but I know I’m gonna freak out the second it has a pit in the metal because I dropped it or it got wacked by another blade the right way. Unfortunate fact of ownership; these things are meant to be used, they get beat up looking after awhile. If you look closely at my current one, the thing is covered in nicks, smudges, and pits from years of love. And yes, they are expensive. However, for the quality of use, they could be more expensive, and they certainly help you become closer to that Galaxy far, far away.

I hope you gained something from this. Enjoy the rest of Jedi June.

May the Force be with you.

@jedijune​ 

[ryder-s-block]

Jaig Eyes (Ch 55)

Jaig Eyes (55/?)

Summary:

Kida, a former slave who now thrives as a bounty hunter, finds herself sucked into the war she advised Jango Fett against. Now that she’s involved, she has to finally mourn the loss of Jango, seeing his face in the clones that man the GAR. What happens when she allows herself to get attached to one, not for his resemblance to her former mentor, but for his heart?

————————-

Chapter Fifty-Five: Another One Bites the Dust

Padme watched me quietly as I finished catching her up on all she’d missed. I left very little out, trusting the woman with my life. Her lips were pursed with sadness, but determination as I finished, telling her about Echo and Piell.

“I’m so sorry,” she offered, finally getting up from her desk and moving to sit in the seat beside mine, her soft hand touching my pants. I’d chosen to take off my armor, having it put in a crate and returned to my shuttle. I was wearing civilian clothes, as the clones like to call them--black pants with my boots, and a soft leather jacket over my light green shirt. My hair, now washed after I took advantage of my private fresher on the Star Destroyer, was pulled back from my face in a messy ponytail.

I fidgeted under her affection, the woman leaving her hand on my knee stubbornly. She was going to show me love, whether I liked it or not.

“I’m glad you’re safe, though. And Anakin. And Ahsoka.”

I nodded. “I...I’m sad. But I also know there was nothing I could do. I could feel it. I knew we were going to lose him.”

Padme looked at me sadly, but said nothing more of it, choosing to change the subject. “Well? Let me see.”

I rolled my eyes, but pulled my lightsaber from inside my jacket. I’d elected not to leave it on my shuttle. Despite being on good terms with the Jedi now, I didn’t trust them to not have their suspicions and worries still. If my use of my lightsaber was something they disapproved of, they’d have to take it up with me directly, rather than swipe it from my things.

Padme accepted the lightsaber hilt hesitantly, examining the handiwork of the Armorer. “This craftsmanship is amazing. You did this yourself?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Who, then?” I gave her a look. “You won’t tell me?”

“More like, I can’t tell you,” I did my best to reason. “Go ahead. Turn it on.” The senator’s eyes widened with fright for a moment, but I only laughed. “Come on. Skywalker told me about how you had his lightsaber when Bane held you hostage.”

“For a moment,” she argued breathlessly. “And it was only to free Ani.” Her voice wavered slightly with uncertainty as she accidentally said Anakin’s nickname. I liked hearing her slip up and say it. Not only was it endearing to see their relationship work in trying times, but it also showed her easiness around me.

“Oh, come on,” I pushed gently, reaching over to guide her thumb over the ignition. The lightsaber hummed to life in her hand, her muscles tensing. I nudged her gently with my mind, easing her worries away. 

That was something I was finding easier--using the Force within my mind. I struggled projecting it in a physical way. But it helped me see and sense the world better...as well as into minds easier.

Maybe I’d bring it up to Obi-wan or Anakin sometime.

“It’s white,” she breathed. “I’ve never seen one like this before.”

I shrugged, smiling as she gave the saber an experimental swish through the air. “It was actually green, once, when it was first harvested by a Jedi Padawan.” Padme’s brows furrowed with worry, but I waved it off with a grin. “I didn’t steal it, I promise. It was my ancestor’s...the one that first mixed blood with Sith.”

“Oh,” was all she offered, shocked.

“I found the blade in my travels, and it was red. When a Force-wielder pours rage and hatred into their kyber, it breaks, and thus, bleeds. This makes it red.”

“So it was a Fallen Jedi’s?”

I nodded. “The crystal called to me. Over time, I was able to heal it, which makes it white. Because it isn’t perfect,” I explained as I took the lightsaber back, my kyber humming happily. “It still has scars, but it isn’t bleeding anymore.”

With a final spin, I disengaged the blade, tucking the hilt back under my jacket. Padme smiled at me. “You seem to have everything figured out.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I joked, but appreciated the compliment. We both chuckled as the doors hissed open, revealing Anakin.

“Ani,” Padme expressed happily as he entered. He gave her a genuine, but tired smile. When the senator hesitated for a moment, I rolled my eyes.

“Just go,” I offered with a laugh. “I won’t look.” I turned my face away as the senator ran across the room and threw herself into her husband’s embrace. I gave them a moment before looking back to Anakin, who was following Padme towards the couch opposite me. “So? Is the information all set and ready to use?”

A darkness rippled off of the young Jedi as he scowled. “No. Master Yoda is trying to figure things out with the chancellor now. But Ahsoka was instructed to tell the Council her information, whereas Tarkin will only bring it to the chancellor.”

I frowned, looking between them. “But...they’re on the same side. What should it matter?”

“One would think,” Padme sighed as she stood. “Come on, Anakin. We should see what we can do to help.”

I could feel Anakin’s weariness. His desperation to lay down and sleep, holding his wife beside him. To feel safe.

It was a feeling most warriors such as us experienced.

“Now what?” I asked, still lounging in my seat. “Where’s everyone else?”

Anakin cracked his neck tiredly as he stood. “Ahsoka is with the Council still, and I assume Tarkin is with the chancellor. The men have been given a temporary leave while this gets sorted out.” He paused, glancing back at me. “Technically, your contract has been filled. You’re free to leave any time, Kida. Credits will be wired to you.” 

He gave me a genuine, unjudging smile as he left the room, but I still couldn't help but feel guilty. I was being paid for a mission that might not even lead to anything. Not to mention, people I cared for died on that mission. Did I even really help at all?

A thought occurred to me at that moment. “Skywalker,” I called after him as I raced from the senator’s office. He turned in the hallway, raising his brow. “You have to convince them to come to an agreement. We can’t let Echo die for nothing.” His lips pressed into a line as he nodded before following his wife towards the chancellor’s study.

I watched them leave before heading towards the exit myself. If this turned out to be all for nothing, I didn’t want Fives to be sober when he heard it.

-------------------------------------

Commander Fox almost didn’t let me in. He stood in front of my shuttle as I descended the gangway, arms crossed. “Do you have orders to be here?”

“No,” I started, trying to explain. But I was cut off.

“Leave the premises immediately,” he ordered, his soldiers drawing their weapons. “All trespassers without clearance will be arrested.”

I growled lowly in my throat, popping my hip defiantly. “Come on, Fox. The GAR lost an ARC trooper on our mission. A friend of mine. One of your brothers.” He paused for a moment and I felt his mind shift slightly away from his training. Despite working as the leader of the Coruscant Guard, he had experienced losing his brothers, too.

“State your purpose.” He was curt, but he was letting me speak, at least.

“The soldiers I was fighting with have been given shore leave. To celebrate their fallen brothers, I’ve decided to take them out for a drink. Or two.”

Fox’s helmet hissed as he let out a long breath of air. “Fine.” His men dropped their weapons immediately, some of them seeming a bit surprised. “But no one better miss their orders and I better not find you here again after you all leave.” I knew what he was insinuating as he jutted his finger towards me.

“Relax, Commander,” I teased as I descended my gangway, tapping my mini wrist gauntlet to close it behind me. “I’ll take good care of them.” I knew I was only playing into a very twisted vision Fox had of me….but I couldn’t help it. Playing the part was a large portion of my work. And to be honest, it was pretty fun sometimes.

I strode past his squadron with playful purpose, following the mental map I’d retained from my last time there. It wasn’t long before I found the barracks for the 501st, most of which had been on leave for most, if not all, of the previous mission’s time. I leaned cockily against the metal doorframe as I gazed into the barracks, scanning for my friends.

I spotted them finally, sensing the despair Fives was feeling in the far corner of the barracks. Looks were cast my way as I walked through the rows of beds confidently. Some recognized me, some didn’t.

Most were just shocked to see a woman in their barracks. With no armor on, for that matter.

“Kida Fett,” a voice sounded, making me turn and see the tattooed face of Hardcase. I gave him a smile as he threw his arm around me. “I’m glad you’re here. We are trying to convince Fives over there to try and have a good time.”

“How convenient,” I projected, the room quieting slightly as I spoke. “I was here to do the very same thing.”

Hardcase let out a boisterous laugh, slapping me on the back as I pushed past him to stand behind Fives. The ARC trooper was hunched over on his bed, his back turned to me. He was only in his blacks.

“Trooper,” I said in my firmest tone. “What are you doing?” I could tell he wasn’t focused by how fast he leapt to his feet, immediately saluting as he turned. “Sir, I was--” he stopped when he saw it was me, rolling his eyes with a scoff. “Kida. Stop it.”

“Oh, I was just teasing,” I tried, but he turned away from me, sitting back down. I sighed, touching his shoulder gently. “Come on. Take it from me….it doesn’t do well to dwell on it. No more mourning.” I leaned down, squeezing his shoulder. “Let’s celebrate him, instead.”

Kix appeared at my side, offering me a cup filled with what smelled like rum. I took it, taking a long sip that burned my nose, before moving it into FIve’s field of vision. I nudged it towards his hand, smiling as he finally took it.

The trooper swallowed thickly before downing the entire cup in one go. He shook his head, coughing at the dry taste, before nodding. He stood and turned to me, wiping the sides of his mouth. “Alright. And I’m going to drink you under the table, just like I always did to Echo.”

I grinned. “I’d like to see you try.”

The clones around me cheered, everyone punching my shoulder playfully. I recognized most of the group that was currently gathered around us. Hardcase, Fives, and Kix, of course. But also Jesse, Tup, Appo, and Dogma. I gave them all smiles, accepting a cup of liquor from Jesse, who threw his arm around me.

“Your nose looks great,” I teased. “Almost like it was never broken.” 

He laughed heartily, before looking around at the group. “Alright, you sacks of osik!” he cried, obviously already a few drinks deep. “It’s time we took this celebration to 79’s!”

I scowled, throwing his arm off of me. “79’s? That’s where you guys think is a good time?”

“Oh, come on, Kida,” Kix teased. “It’s the only place we really have fun.” I knew what he meant--a lot of bar patrons weren’t too kind to clones. Especially when below the surface. 

I rolled my eyes playfully to avoid the subject. “Fine.” They cheered, the group practically carrying me from the barracks and onto a shuttle they hailed. It was a civilian shuttle, meaning we earned plenty of looks as a lone girl piled in with five clones, Dogma and Appo staying behind for duty that night.

The clones were shamelessly boisterous on the transport, making me smile easily. Despite the looks--ones I knew the clones were noticing--they kept on living as they deemed fit. They weren’t given a lot of time to experience life, after all. They were going to enjoy it while they could.

The transport stopped at 79’s quickly, much to the relief of the civilian passengers. I stuck my tongue out at one woman that was giving us a dirty look. “They die for your freedom, skanah,” I scowled. “Show some respect.”

My language earned a raised eyebrow from Kix and Fives, but neither said anything as we entered the clone bar. It was filled with drunken clones, all in various states of dress. Some were in their blacks. Some in their casuals. Some even had their armor still on.

“Come on, Kida!” Tup shouted, making me find him in the crowd at the bar. “Take a shot with us!”

I sighed inwardly, knowing I was in for a long night. We took the shot--something minty and tart--together, all of them cheering and immediately demanding another.

Three consecutive shots later, I was already wishing I’d eaten more of the food in Padme’s office than I had. Hardcase pushed an incredibly strong drink into my hand before herding me over to a booth with the others.

“Alright, alright,” he laughed as he shoved himself into the booth after me, his arm going over my shoulder. I rolled my eyes, not caring enough to stop him. “Jesse, you know the drill.” Said clone sat up straight in the booth, listening closely to his brother. “Senator Dio or Senator Amidala?”

My eyebrow raised immediately as Jesse rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Come now, that’s an easy one,” Hardcase laughed, leaning into me more.

“Oh?” Kix asked, taking a long drink. “If you know the answer, why’d you ask it?”

“I wanna know what he thinks!”

“I’m sorry,” I interrupted, putting up my hand. “What is the game here?”

“Who’d you rather,” Jesse answered matter-of-factly, giving me a look. I gaped, glancing between the men as it registered. It took only a second for me to bust out laughing. Oh….if Anakin only knew that his men were debating the sexiness of his wife.

“That’s easy,” a drunken clone proclaimed as he leaned over the back of the booth, breathing down my neck. I flinched, looking back at him with a crinkled nose. “Senator Amidala is a smoke show! Dio has nothing on her. Imagine her in a small, tight, little--”

“Okay!” I cried, roughly throwing off Hardcase as I forced my way out of the booth. “Next round of shots is on me!”

They cheered, none of them caring that I was dodging hearing more about Padme in some sexy getup for the clone’s entertainment. I couldn't really blame them, though. It wasn’t like the Republic let them have spouses or anything. What alternative did they have? Aside from--

A grin crept to my lips as I piled the next round of shots on a tray, carrying them to the table of clones.They had moved on from their game, all of their drinks already gone as they debated who would win the next podrace on the holonet.

“I have a proposition for a new plan,” I proclaimed as I set the tray down before them. We each lifted our individual shot glasses to our lips, downing them easily. I continued after we took them. “Instead of talking about girls and sitting here in a bar with, frankly,” I glanced around at the clone-filled bar, “A bit too much testosterone, let’s go somewhere more fun.”

“Kida, we already--” Kix started, but I held up my hand. 

After accepting the drink Jesse handed to me, I smiled at them. “I know you guys don’t have great experiences at bars outside of this one. But I know a pretty good club that won’t turn you away or treat you differently. If anything, you’ll be treated better, because I know the owner.”

They were interested. Fives knew what I meant, the ARC trooper giving me a smile. “Oh, do you?” he asked.

I smiled. “I do. Shall we?” I downed my drink quickly, feeling myself wobble just slightly. 

“I’d be willing,” Fives offered, leaning back in his seat. “If,” he stopped, looking me in the eye with a devilish twinkle. “The unstoppable Kida Fett can complete a task.”

I scowled at my friend, but accepted. “And what’s that?”

Fives’ smile should have warned me. His eyes shifted past me, looking towards a back booth. “I’ll go to your club, if you can convince our good captain to come along, too.”

My blood went cold as I realized what he meant. My senses prickled, notifying me of the familiar presences in the corner booth--Cody and Rex. I swallowed thickly before turning, spying them both still in their armor, each with a hand firmly wrapped around a drink.

Grinding my teeth together, I scowled back at my chuckling friends. “She’ll never be able to,” Hardcase determined, shaking his head. “There’s no way we can get our captain to a club, especially with it being on the lower levels.”

I pursed my lips, looking back at Rex, who had certainly seen us, but elected to stay away. “You actually want your commanding officer to party with you?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Of course we do,” Fives grinned back. “Or are you just asking because you’re afraid you can’t.”

“The captain doesn’t party like that,” Kix said with a shrug, giving me a defeated look. “Sorry, kid. I don’t think you have a chance on this one.”

“He doesn’t party,” I repeated in a mutter as I watched Rex down the rest of his drink. “Then what’s he doing here?” With a deviously confident look over my shoulder at my drinking pals, I strode across the bar, hearing them cheer drunkenly behind me.

It took a bit longer than I expected, since I didn’t want to be spotted as I approached and had to navigate the drunken crowd of clones. But, when I arrived, it was perfect.

“Your drink is looking a bit low, Captain,” I said formally, with a light tone to my words. Rex looked up with a start, Cody doing the same.

“Fett,” Cody greeted, surprised by my presence. “What are you doing here?”

I jutted my thumb back behind me towards the drunken group of 501st clones. “Celebrating Echo. You?”

Rex swallowed thickly, his fingers twisting his empty cup on the table endlessly. “Trying to relax,” Cody tried, heavily implying that I was impeding that attempt.

I let the hint slide off of me as if I never noticed it. “I have a wonderful plan for that. The guys and I are actually heading to a different bar, if you want to join.”

Cody cleared his throat, finishing off his drink. “As much as I’d love to, I have to get back. General Kenobi wanted my report by the morning.”

He rose from his seat, making me back up as he moved to leave. I shifted on my feet anxiously. “Okay, well then, Captain. It looks like you have no one to drink with.”

Rex offered me a gentle smile, but he looked tired. He tilted his empty cup upside down to show me. “And nothing to drink. Sorry, Kida. Maybe another time.”

He moved to walk after Cody, who has stopped near the door to wait for his friend. I stopped his with a hand on his elbow. “Rex,” I whispered. “Come on. Fives asked for you personally.”

His golden gaze turned to me seriously. “It’s more likely he wanted to put you in an uncomfortable situation. Or me.” He glanced over my shoulder, most likely to see his men grinning at us drunkenly.

“Who cares?” I asked suddenly, taking him by surprise. “Come on. I know you have leave time. Come with us. Please?” I gave him my best pouty face that I could muster--a symptom of the alcohol unfortunately.

Finally, Rex rolled his eyes, turning to wave Cody on. Cody gave Rex a rare smile before nodding and leaving the bar alone. Rex looked back at me seriously. “So what have I agreed to? Where are we going?”

I gave him a wide, devious smile, but didn’t answer, waving to my friends to come join us. “Let’s go!” I yelled over the din of the bar, pointing to my wrist comm. It was flashing with Apex’s message that our ride had arrived. 

I couldn’t help but smile as we left the bar together, Fives and Kix throwing their arms around Rex. I was going to give them the party of their lives. I would make them forget. 

Forget about the war. And the brothers they’ve lost. Forget about the certainty that they’d lose more. And the likelihood that it could be them. 

-------------------------------

The Fury Club was busy that night. Walking up to the door was out of the question--not because I had clones with me, but because I was not about to wait in line to get into my own damn club. I rolled my eyes, gesturing for the clones to follow me around the back alley. It stunk of trash and probably vomit, but it hid the back door to my club well. I pressed my thumb against the print lock, the door buzzing as it hissed open. I led them in, their faces blushing as we passed my workers.

The back door led to the service hallways--much of which were lined with costuming and makeup rooms for the performers. The girls were all sweet things, though many had their own run-ins with the law. Who was I to judge on that, anyways? They knew how to play their game and make their money, though.

In the back, they were sweet and goofy. On the floor, they were flirtatious and docile. Fierce and sexy. But I suppose that depended on the clientele. 

We were met with a chorus of giggles as the clones walked past the changing rooms. Their tan skin flushed darker with embarrassment, but I only laughed. “Relax,” I teased my friends. “They’re exotic dancers. They’re usually dressed like that,” I assured, referring to the skimpy clothing the girls were wearing.

I led them to the access door, gesturing them forward. “The main floor is in there. I’ll send one of the girls out to tell Merl your drinks are on the house tonight.” 

“You coming?” Fives asked as he walked past me into the flashing lights of my club. 

“Of course,” I assured him. “I just need to get the last of us club ready.” I glanced pointedly at Rex, who was still wearing his weapons and armor. Fives and Kix chuckled as they walked past me, my hand reaching out to press against the captain’s chest-plate.

“What?” he asked, glancing nervously between the clones and I.

“I don’t allow weapons in my club, Rex.”

He gave me an incredulous look. “As if you’re not carrying a weapon right now.”

“I own this club,” I argued, giving him a gentle shove as I closed the door, sealing us away from the club again. “Now come on.” I pushed past him, dragging him with me by his forearm.

Despite his hesitations, I felt his mind and body begin to relax. An easy smile fell on his lips, a small chuckle erupting from his throat as he let me pull him along. I dragged him into the my private lift, which wasn’t my brightest idea. It was rather small, since it was usually only used by me.

We were standing pretty close, his knuckles grazing my arm where they wrapped around his helmet at his side. The alcohol was making me….fuzzy. I shook myself mentally, forcing myself to focus as the hydraulic doors slid open.

Taking initiative, I stepped out first, moving immediately to the wardrobe door on the far side of my office. Rex was slower in his advance through the room, taking it in slowly. His golden eyes scanned over the case of weaponry I had on display--some I used and some I just found fascinating in my travels. I had trophies--things I’d taken from meaningful jobs. A piece of bloodied shrapnel that had been lodged in my thigh for hours during a stakeout mission that went south, forcing me to have to sit in pained silence until it was safe to move. A mask given to me by the witch doctor of a village I once helped protect from pirates. A small drum-like instrument from a revolutionary I protected from assassins. 

Next he turned to examine the empty metal figure that stood against the wall, devoid of the Mandalorian armor that usually sits on it. Alternative gadgets and ammunition was stocked neatly along the mannequin's base--it was a bounty hunter’s dream office.

“Here,” I said to get his attention as I reentered the room. “These should fit you.” I handed him the clothes I’d picked out from a stash I’d collected over time, whether from bar patrons, bounty hunting, or….visitors.

He looked around the room nervously, earning a pair of rolling eyes from me. I gestured to the wardrobe I’d emerged from, pointing him off to change. While he was in there, I drew out my spiced rum, pouring two decent sized shots. 

When he emerged, I went silent, my drunken mind slowing to a full stop. Rex seemed uncomfortable in the civilian attire. But man….did it look good on him. I’d chosen a pair of black pants with black boots, as well as a gray shirt. His jacket was a deep maroon color with a low collar.

“I feel ridiculous.”

I let out a laugh as he fidgeted under my appraising gaze. “You look great,” I assured, sitting on the desk and lifting the glasses. “Come on and take a shot with me.”

He didn’t argue, piling his neatly stacked armor and weapons on a table in the corner before approaching. His brow lifted as he accepted his glass touching the rim against mine. “How many of these have you had?” he asked, breathing past the sting of the liquor.

“Why? Trying to match me?”

Rex tried to give me a stern look, but failed, letting out a small laugh instead. He didn’t refuse as I poured him another shot. He still seemed uncomfortable, shifting in his jacket endlessly. “Rex,” I said, touching my fingers to the inside of his wrist, blocking him from taking the next shot. “Relax. Tonight is about celebrating. Besides, I would never let my guests look ridiculous while they’re in my care.” I paused for a moment. “Unless they’re an asshole and they deserve it.”

Rex chuckled easily, already loosening up. Whether it was from the alcohol or the gentle pressure of my hand on his pulse though, I couldn’t say. “I’m pretty sure you’ve called me an ass before.”

I wiggled my eyebrows at him teasingly before releasing my hold and downing my own shot. The captain dressed in civvies mimicked me, giving me an easy smile over the burn of the alcohol.

“Fives is going to tease me about this all night,” he commented, lifting the flap of the jacket to examine the stitched interior.

I couldn’t help but laughed. “Possibly, but he’s got no taste anyways.” I leaned closer to where he leaned against the desk, whispering comically, “He’s a clone, you know.”

“I knew that, oddly enough.”

“Don’t worry,” I assured, distancing myself from him again since he hadn’t reacted. “You’ll all have things to tease each other about tonight if everything goes as planned.” Rex lifted a weary eyebrow, to which I only responded to with a wry grin.

It was silent for a beat as we gazed at each other. We had never discussed...us...since our encounter after Mortis. The Citadel was a whirlwind of fighting and survival and loss. Aside from the small gestures of comfort and our short disagreement, we hadn’t talked. 

Yet despite the year of being apart, aside from the most recent meetings, it felt like nothing had changed….yet everything had. The air was charged with electricity as we smiled at each other. They were soft. Endearing. Genuine.

I’d found that Rex was rare to smile, but when he did, he meant it. It was always a pure look that crinkled the skin on his face and brought a light to his eyes. It would recede again swiftly after the moment, but I loved seeing him like that.

My smiles, however, were often forced. Or fake, altogether. Bounty hunting was an act as much as it was a skill set. Smiles and batting eyelashes were needed for certain jobs or clients. Deadly stares and intimidating snarls were needed for others.

But with Rex, in soft moments like these, where we could forget everything that had once, and continued to, hold us back….my smiles were always genuine. And they came with a flush of warmth through my body like a warm embrace, heating my chest as my heart fluttered against my ribs.

Rex was the first to snap out of it, clearing his throat as if experiencing an after effect of the alcohol. “We should probably join the men.”

I shifted uncomfortably on the desk, running my hair through the wisps of silvery hair that was falling from my ponytail. “Of course. We wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.” I felt like I covered the disappointment in my voice well, but even with the time apart, Rex was still able to read me. He gave me a small, contemplative frown as I hopped off the desk, filling a final hefty shot for us both.

Knocking mine back, I handed the bottle to Rex as I sauntered into the wardrobe. I was feeling the liquor. A lot. I could tell as I pulled out a silvery sleeved dress from my lines of clothes Rouva had collected for me over the years. I found sparkling heels to pair with it, pulling my hair from its tie and giving it a shake. Rouva had taught me to do simple makeout, my brushes running easily over my face to line my eyes and paint my lips.

I emerged, the shining fabric sliding over my thighs and tickling my knees where the hem rested. It was a plunging back, revealing my many criss-crossing scars, as well as my Jaig eye tattoos.

Rex seemed shocked, looking up from his glass of rum with wide eyes. He stood abruptly from where he leaned on the desk, his back straightening. “Kida. You look…” he cleared his throat, unsure what to say.

I let out an easy chuckle, amused by this game. If he wanted to avoid me while obviously avoiding the energy in the room….then fine. I’d play. But I was a competitive spirit.

And I wasn’t about to lose this game.

“Come on,” I said airily, taking his glass from him and downing the contents. He watched me, completely still aside for his chest rising. His gaze was intense as his eyes followed me, full lips parted slightly. I set the empty glass down beside him on the desk, flashing him what I knew was a dazzling smile--it was the one I used on targets I flirted into my grasp. “The show is about to start.”

Instead of taking the private lift, as tempting as the notion was to make Rex uncomfortable...I figured I could make it even worse. I exited through the main door--the one that opened above my club, descending a metal staircase that wrapped down the wall of the main floor.

Rex exited behind me, immediately flinching at the thumping music and flashing lights. And the plethora of eyes that lifted to look at us. There were snickers. Ones about the owner leaving her office with a dashing young man. Rex’s tan skin flushed with embarrassment, but it only encouraged my glee.

I strode across the floor, making sure to swing my hips as Rouva always told me I should do more often. She didn’t get it….Mandalorian armor just didn’t allow for an easy swing of the hips. And I wasn’t looking for sexy when I was sprinting for my life.

“Enjoying yourselves?” I asked loudly as I approached the clones, all of whom were piled into a long booth, their eyes scanning the crowds hungrily.

The nearly jumped at my words, looking away from my workers. I gave them all a look, crossing my arms as their gazes crawled over me. “Wow,” Hardcase mumbled against the rim of his cup.

“Kida,” Fives chuckled, raising his eyebrows teasingly. “Have I ever told you that your ass looks amazing in heels?”

I gave him a look, part angry, part shocked, and part amused. He was hammered. Even more amusing was the steaming expression on Rex, who was giving his brother a death glare. “You never have, actually,” I teased, trying to lighten Rex’s mood with my tone. “And you’ll never tell me it again,” I added sternly, giving the ARC trooper a look.

Fives sat up straight in his booth, giving me a mock salute with a lopsided grin. “Yes, sir!” he practically screamed across the club. Half my patrons looked our way, giving us scowls. But I only laughed. This was my bar. If they didn’t like it, they could get the hell out.

I gave Merl a wave, the elderly Weequay piling drinks onto a tray and sending one of my girls over. “Vamira,” I greeted the pale pink Twi’lek as she arrived with our drinks. Her smile was broad, showing off her sharp canines with pride. “Thank you.”

“It’s nice to see you’re back,” she said in her accented voice. “We were worried you were going to disappear again.”

I chuckled lowly, giving her a wave of dismissal. “I don’t plan on doing that again any time soon.”

She gave me a smile before casting her gaze over the clones. Her eyes settled on Tup, the soldier giving an uncomfortable cough. He was only doing it to hide his wide grin at her attention. 

I cleared my throat gently, giving the worker a teasing look. “Bye Vamira,” I said again, making her finally break her stare on Tup, giving me a final smile before she walked away. I looked back over the clones, noticing how quickly they seemed to look anywhere but at my girls whenever I turned to them.

A low sigh escaped my mouth as I rolled my eyes, sitting on a stool beside Rex at the head of the table, “Listen, these are my rules. My girls are dancers. Professionals. They are not for sale.” A few of the clones glanced down at the table, ashamed. “But,” I added, a few of them perking up. “If you genuinely earn her affection and she CONSENTS,” I stressed, tapping the table a few times to hammer in the point. “Then I’ll allow it.”

“Really?” Tup whispered, voice filled with child-like wonder.

I stood up, pointing at each one’s forehead. “But if any of you hurt, or Force forbid, force yourself on any of them, I promise you’ll regret the day you came out of your test tube.”

They all swallowed quickly, giving me quick nods. I sat back down, giving them all a final stare before lightening up and taking a long drink. Pale pink skin appeared beside me, holding something shiny. I glanced up, seeing Vamira’s smiling face again, her violet eyes on Tup again. He blushed under her gaze, glancing away shyly as he drank.

“Vamira,” I greeted again sweetly. “I thought you were on drink duty tonight.”

Her smile faltered for a moment as she set the metal object down on our table to wring her hands. “I am,” she tried. “They were just really overwhelmed so I offered to help.”

I turned in my seat, glancing around my bar to see two girls I knew were hookah attendants that night. They were lounging around a single hookah, flirting with the male patrons. “Busy, huh?” I teased lightly, giving her a look.

She knew I wasn’t bothered by her advances on the clone. I had no claim to any of them. Penari approached, draping herself against the wall between Rex and Fives. The ARC’s face cracked open with a wide smile as he turned in the booth to look at her.

But she was looking at Rex. She was a beautiful Twi’lek in her late twenties, her skin a soft turquoise color, her neck dripping in silver. Her eyes were like honey, taking in the planes of Rex’s face as she flashed him a bright smile, eyelashes fluttering. 

At first I merely lifted my brow in amusement, but then I heard Rex cough uncomfortably. My head whipped to the side to see him shifting, his face flushing under her gaze. I frowned, alcohol making my more jealous side rear its ugly head. Fives tried again to gain Penari’s attention, to no avail. 

“What’s your name, handsome?” she asked, her words as silvery as her jewelry. She ignored Fives altogether, her question directed at the captain. Her long fingers brushed over his jacket shoulder gently, as if brushing something off, before stealing a small glance over the sharp curve of his jaw.

“I-” Rex stuttered, making me smolder with annoyance at my employee. Then again, it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t like she knew. “Rex,” the captain finally answered.

“Rex,” Penari purred. “That sounds like a good, strong name,” she stepped forward, her fingers crawling over the swell of his bicep. “For a good, strong man.”

Rex’s mouth was agape as he regarded the seductress. I pursed my lips, finally leaning forward with my hand clenched around my glass. “Ma’allesh,” I said in her native tongue.

She looked over at me in shock, taking in my folded arms and pursed lips. “I’m not doing--” she tried, but she had already put it together and was just trying to back out now.

“Sahak tuev san,” I said firmly, her mouth snapping closed. I cut my eyes to the side, the movement finally getting her to push off from the wall and stalk the crowd for some other prey she can convince to buy things.

Rex turned to me with a raised brow. “What was that about?” he asked, his brain already working to piece it together.

“Does it matter?” I asked, taking a long drink from my cup to finish it. I lifted the empty glass in the air, leaning my head back comically until Merl caught my gaze. He rolled his eyes at me as I shook the glass desperately, giving me a dismissive wave. I sat back up though, knowing he’d send more drinks in a minute, despite his mild annoyance at me.

“Kida,” Hardcase started, burping slightly around his words. “We were talking while you were disarming our good captain.” I tensed slightly at their choice of wording, swallowing past the lump forming in my throat. “And we think it’s only fair that you have to play a round if we did.”

“A round of?” I prodded, tilting my head.

The group chuckled as the clones peered around the hookah Vamira was setting up on the table. “Who’d you rather.” Hardcase gave me a slow grin.

“I never agreed to play the game.”

“Okay, but we answered in front of you,” Jesse argued teasingly, obviously just enjoying the time out with us.

“That was your own mistake,” I laughed, accepting the drinks Penari set down. She gave me a small nod of understanding and apologies before walking away. She was genuine, so I held no anger over it. 

Fives, however, was pissed at me. “You scared her off, Kida,” he gasped, throwing his hands up as he watched the Twi’lek disappear into the crowd. “What did you say to her? Was that Ryl?”

“Do you study languages, Fives?”

The ARC gave me a skeptical expression. “No. Why?”

“Then how would you know if I told you the truth about what I said?” 

The room was silent for a moment before Rex let out a low chuckle between sipping down the remains of his drink. He continued to laugh as he picked up his next. “Are you alright, Captain?” Fives asked, looking genuinely concerned.

I couldn’t help but laugh along with Rex as Vamira finished setting up the hookah, the tiny girl on her tip-toes to set the coals in place. I rolled my eyes in amusement at her efforts to talk to Tup. The young clone was staring at her with wide eyes, taking in the gentle womanly curve of her body and the soft bats of her lashes. 

“She has you cornered, Fives,” Rex finally said as he chuckled against the rim of his glass. “You have to admit it.”

“I told her that her bra was coming undone,” I said, earning surprised expressions from the group. They paused in confused silence before Vamira let out a small snort of laughter, knowing full well what I actually said.

“You didn’t say that,” Hardcase surmised, already slurring his words a bit. He looked up at Vamira. “Did she say that?”

The Twi’lek laughed as she collected her things, handing Hardcase the first hose to start the hookah. “My lips are sealed,” she smiled, casting an innocent look at Tup before leaning back and taking her leave.

“Thank you,” I called over my shoulder, smiling as I heard her faint, but cheery response. I leaned back on the bar chair, watching my friends as they puffed happily at the hookah, expressing how exciting it was that they knew a club owner. My eyes slid over each ot them, taking them all in. This was the family I had been seeking for most of my life. Of course, things would start to change again when Boba was out of prison. But until then….

As I took them in, I wished I could have taken them out sooner. There had already been losses to this group. Some I never even had the privilege of knowing. I wished I’d had Echo here so I could memorize the little differences in his face and stance and voice amongst all his brothers.

Amongst our family.

Rex’s shoulder nudged mine gently, the soldiers currently distracted by the arrival of shots and the swelling of music on the stage. “You alright?”

I nodded, blinking away the infernal tears that threatened to spill. “I know it’s selfish,” I whispered back under the thumping bass. “And I’m grateful for tonight. For being able to see them like this. But I wish….” My voice trailed off while I tried to find the words. “I want more, and I know it’s selfish. But I wish--”

“Wish we could have done this before the Citadel,” Rex completed for me, making me look up to examine his face. Turns out, he had been doing the same thing. His eyes were tracing the lines of each face around the table, memorizing each turn and curve.

“Yes.” We didn’t have to say more. We both understood. But Rex shifted just a bit closer in his seat, the outside of his leg brushing mine gently. It was a small thing, but it was comforting nonetheless.

We all turned, the contact cutting off, as the lights dimmed, the music fading to allow for Rouva to take the stage, mic in hand. “Welcome,” she practically sang into the microphone. “To The Fury Club!” She was met with a chorus of whistles, her lithe frame glistening in red satin. “Tonight is a very special night,” she announced, the stage lights turning and soaring over the crowds. I sat up a little straighter, knowing what she was about to pull. “Our lovely founder and owner, Kida Fett, has returned for the evening to celebrate with the boys in blue!”

The spotlight fell on us, my fake smile gracing my features easily. The crowd cheered, some of my familiar patrons standing to start approaching. I tilted my hand palm down at them, gesturing for them to sit. Tonight wasn’t a night for sweet talking.

Well….not for sweet-talking them, at least.

I glanced sideways at Rex, watching the lights of my club flicker against his skin, dyeing him hundreds of different colors at once. The light danced in his eyes like the viewport as I soared through hyperspace, blinding but mesmerizing. 

I drank steadily through the performance, having seen most of the dances through rehearsals numerous times. The clones were infatuated, watching the smokey eyes that peaked out behind decorated fans and ribbons, skirts and tassels whirling with a glitter of jewels. After a while, the clones felt less hesitant to cheer and yell along with the other party-goers. I sat back with a small grin, watching them finally enjoy themselves like a typical Coruscanti male. 

Finally, as the performance ended, the dance floor opened. A very eager young Twi’lek came bounding across the floor, stopping beside me in a soft black dress. She folded her hands before her, giving me a shy, doe-eyed look. “I’m off-duty and finished all my shift work already. Can I?”

Her voice was terribly sweet, but matched the eager nervousness of the clone she was smiling fondly at. I sighed, rolling my eyes at her. “Have at it.”

She giggled happily before leaning over the other clones, grabbing Tup’s hand from around his glass. “Dance with me?”

“Oh-” Tup cleared his throat nervously, his fingers tapping awkwardly in her hand. “I don’t know how to dance.”

“Who cares?” I asked, feeling my girl deflate a bit at his words. “You’re drunk!” I slid him a final shot as I leaned forward, freeing him from Vamira’s grasp only to yank him forward in mine. I practically dragged him from his place in the booth, shoving a shot into his hand. He downed it nervously, giving me a look. I smoothed back a portion of his hair before giving him a wink, tapping his shoulder to dismiss him. He followed Vamira eagerly now, taking her outstretched hand as she led him through the dance floor towards the speakers.

“Of course the kid gets one,” Hardcase groaned, hitting his forehead against the table. 

I laughed at him. “You don’t seem to be trying very hard,” I teased. “You’re just sitting drunkenly in a booth. Why don’t you put in the effort?”

Hardcase gave me a look for a moment before leaning forward with a grin. “Is that a challenge?”

“Is that the only way you’ll put effort in?” His brothers laughed at my words, but Hardcase only lunged up from his place in the booth, scooting out onto the floor beside me.

“Damn straight, it is,” he clarified with a drunken wink. He strode off towards the dance floor, stumbling only once against a high-top table.

Kix sighed as we watched his brother leave. “He’s going to piss someone off,” the medic groaned, standing as well. “I should keep an eye on him.”

“Hey now,” Jesse called, pushing Fives up as he stood. “I don’t want to miss out on the fun!” The clones jostled for a moment beside Rex before running off. I smiled after them, barely stifling a laugh as Fives stumbled back to bow lowly at me.

“My Lady,” he said, dramatically offering me his hand with a flourish of his fingers. I couldn’t help but laugh, finishing my drink quickly before standing. My dress was like silk against my skin, which was rough and tired from the mission on a hot lava planet. It was soothing, feeling it slide down my leg as I stood, the fabric fluttering.

I slid my fingers into Fives’ grasp, giving him a faux curtsy. “Good sir, you flatter me,” I teased, earning a wry grin from him. I gave Rex a shy smile before following his brother out onto the dance floor. He spun me as best he could, laughter pouring from our mouths as I mocked his terrible dancing skills.

“Oh, come on,” he scowled playfully, dipping his head down next to mine. “I know what game you’re playing with our good captain.”

Sober me would have panicked and dodged the subject easily with a smooth lie. But I was hammered….so I just giggled and pushed my face into Fives’ shoulder. Ugh. Giggling. What kind of bounty hunter was I?

I forced myself to sober slightly. “Well if you know the game, then help me win,” I stressed, pushing him away slightly to swat at his chest.

He released me immediately, a small wave of panic rushing over me. He stilled my worries easily, holding his hands up for me to manipulate. “Fine. If I’m so bad at dancing, teach me how.”

I chewed the inside of my painted lips as my cheeks puckered with a smile. “Sounds lovely.” I positioned his hands on my body in the way I’d watched people dance over my years as a slave. I’d seen many dances--some feral and wild and some angelic and calculated. The couple dances I’d seen on Naboo were some of my favorite, though.

I instructed Fives gently over the deep hum of the music, letting him get the rhythm before letting him take control. “You’re a fast learner,” I part teased, part praised. The clone gave me a cocky smile before pulling me in close.

We rocked back and forth, his head nuzzling into my shoulder. I smiled gently, closing my eyes. It was peaceful here, despite the rush of alcohol in my veins and the thumping of the music. He was like the older brother I never got to have. Protective. Loving. But also teasing and never held back from telling me his thoughts.

“Thank you,” the soldier whispered against the side of my head before pressing his lips to my hair experimentally. It took me by surprise, but I could sense his intentions and none of what he was doing was to make an advance. He loved me. I could feel it. But it wasn’t like how Rex felt around me. It was like family. He felt safe with me.

And I with him. “Of course,” I whispered back. 

He pulled back as the music faded, shifting into a more upbeat song. He gave me a wide, genuine smile. “Never feel like you aren’t one of us,” he reminded, giving my hands a squeeze. “I like this dance,” he added, shifting the subject.

“I have one you all might like better,” Vamira called from where she swayed with Tup, pulling from his grasp. She ran to the back, the music shifting again to one I knew.

And one all of my dancers had learned from the Twi’leks among them. The girls all squealed as the flutes and strings rose to the beat of their native drum, pulling patrons onto the dancefloor to fill it.

“Come on, Kida,” Vamira insisted, grabbing my hand as I tried to move into the outer circle like the clones were. “You know this dance.”

I cast a defeated look back at my chuckling friends, spying Rex as he moved closer to watch. There was a twinge of jealousy radiating from him as he stood next to Fives. The ARC, despite not being Force sensitive, could feel it from his captain. And he was smug about it.

As the drum intensified, I turned, focusing on the dance rather than the clones. I turned my hips in the way I’d been taught, stepping and leaping to the rhythm as we danced in practiced circles around the dance floor. Slowly, as was the Twi’lek custom, the women dancing began to drag others onto the floor, forcing them into the dance. It wasn’t difficult to follow, especially when surrounded by those that knew where to go.

I spun to the side, stopping my movements only for a moment to grab Tup’s arm and drag him into the dance. I spun with him only a few times before releasing him wildly while we danced. He flailed slightly as he stumbled, only to be swept up by the young Twi’lek I knew to be waiting for him. 

Vamira cast me a dazzling smile before spinning off with her new admirer. I ducked beneath the next pair of linked arms, spinning to rush back into a circle, hands grasping those next to me. 

My next dance partner swooped me up in a turn as we exited the center circle, my face breaking into a smile as Fives pulled me along. “This one is fun too,” he commented with an easy laugh.

“I see you’ve joined in easily,” I laughed as he spun me around, passing the clones again. All but Kix and Rex had joined. “I see we have party-poopers.”

“We DO have party poopers,” Fives repeated, loud enough for our friends to hear. He leaned down, whispering. “If you’re playing the jealousy card, now might be a good time.”

I grinned widely at my friend before looking back at the awkwardly standing captain. “No. I think he’s had enough.” I watched quietly as Kix kept tabs on his drunk brothers, Rex doing his best to avoid my gaze. 

Fives twirled me a final time before letting me go, spinning back into the crowded dance. I spun the other way, maneuvering my way through the dancers as I flowed with them. I stopped before Kix, giving him a smile. “Keeping the boys out of trouble?”

The medic gave me a grin, rolling his eyes. “As best I can.”

“Well,” I sighed teasingly. “Since you’re busy….” My gaze shifted to the captain, his golden eyes watching me carefully. “Care for a dance?”

Rex swallowed thickly. “I don’t know this one.”

I reached past Kix, offering my hand, palm up. It was a coax, rather than a force. “It isn’t hard. I’ll show you.”

He hesitated for only a moment, a small crinkle of Kix’s cheek telling me he was smiling. Rex took my hand and I pulled him to the front, leading him onto the dance floor. His men whooped and cheered as he joined us, following my movements stiffly.

“Loosen up,” I insisted, knowing he was feeling the alcohol. He nodded, but didn’t meet my eye. I squeezed his hand gently, easing him into letting me lead. He slowly relaxed to the beat of the drums and the flashing lights, his golden gaze meeting mine softly.

His grip tightened slightly as he pushed against me, taking the lead with more confidence as we turned. When we were supposed to release to switch partners, he refused, holding my waist firmly to keep me from spinning away. 

I only smiled at him as he kept us dancing, maneuvering us around the other couples easily now. “I’m getting thirsty,” he commented, some sweat beading on both our brows as we danced through our third song. “Can I get you a drink?” 

We slowed as we neared the edge of the dance floor, still holding each other. “Well since your drinks are on the house tonight, and it’s my house,” I reasoned, giving him a teasing grin. “I can get you a drink instead?”

He laughed, his throat bobbing as he slowly took his hands away from me, giving me space to lead us through the crowd. “That seems fair.”

I grabbed his hand easily, knowing the trust I had within that group of clones. And no one in my bar would dare cross me. They either respected me too much….or feared what I’d do to them too much.

Merl met us with drinks as we arrived at the bar, giving us both a once over. He gave me a smile. “Having fun?”

“Yes, actually,” I breathed, taking a greedy slurp of my drink.

“I’m assuming you already told them the rules?” he asked, looking over my shoulder at Hardcase, who was trying his best to drunkenly sweet talk one of my girls.

“She did,” Rex confirmed, giving me a grin before looking back at his men, rolling his eyes. I watched quietly as Vamira pulled Tup stealthily away from his brothers and towards the back rooms. She had her own room back there.

I rolled my eyes, looking away like I never saw it. “Another one bites the dust,” Merl laughed, pouring us each a shot, himself included. He lifted the glass and tapped it against mine, saying aloud, “One down,” before taking the shot.

Rex arched his brow but took his shot nonetheless. It wasn’t until after he breathed around the sting of the liquor that he asked, “What do you mean?”

“Your man,” Merl responded, matter-of-factly.

“Tup,” I whispered, nodding my head to where the young clone was slipping out the back door. Rex watched beside me, his face a mixture of sadness and amusement. “What?” 

“I’m happy for him. I just hope he doesn’t….get too attached.”

I raised my brow. “She’s a good girl. Genuine. She wouldn’t hurt him.”

“I was thinking the other way around.” Rex gave me a sad look. “He could visit, but he’d be gone a lot. And one day, he might not come back.” He was thinking about Echo. Contemplating it all. And the likelihood that it could be him next.

“Stop that,” I demanded, knocking back my shot and squeezing his shoulder. “I brought you all here to forget about all that.” I shook my head. “From this moment on...for the rest of the night…..all talk of war, loss, death, and consequences is suspended. Got it?”

Rex smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “No thinking of any consequences whatsoever?”

“None.”

“So I can light a fire over there?” he asked, pointing to a corner booth. His eyes were starting to glitter with amusement. He was trying to forget as best as he could.

“Rex, can I ask you something?” The clone seemed worried at my supposed dodging of the question, but nodded anyways. “Do you remember my office?”

His brow arched, but he answered. “Yes.”

“Do you remember all the weapons I had up there?”

“Yes,” he smiled, my questions making sense for him now.

“Do you know how many ways I could kill a man with those weapons?”

“I imagine you’d be creative, so more ways than their designed purpose, I’m sure.”

I nodded, giving him a closed-lipped smile. “Good. Remember that next time you even think about damaging my club.”

Rex laughed, as well as a few other patrons that lined the bar. Merl appeared, pouring another round of shots. “Another one bites the dust,” he chimed, taking the shot easily before pointing with his empty glass. Across the dance floor, Jesse was being led by a few of my dancers, all giggling and wide-eyed. They led his drunken ass to one of the private dance rooms to get him to give them every last credit he had to spend. I took the shot.

We let out a round of laughter as Fives was shuffled into the private room after Jesse, each apparently getting dances tonight. Another shot amidst the banter.

“And another,” Rex chuckled, gesturing for Merl to pour out more rum. His gaze cut to Hardcase, who was dancing rather pervertedly with a young woman, both looking drunker than all hell.

“I don’t really count that yet,” Merl noted, still pouring out the shots. “But I’ll take one for the halfway mark.” He threw back the shot before returning to work.

“You better not be drunk while on duty, Merl,” I called back, not really serious.

“As if you’ve ever followed that rule.”

That was fair. I let out a laugh, knocking back my shot easily. It was getting far less horrible to drink straight liquor. It didn’t really burn anymore.

That meant I was trashed. Great.

“You’ve done a job drunk?” Rex asked, arching a brow.

I let out a snort of laughter, covering my face as I blushed. “A few, actually.” The clone gave me a look, making me scowl. “Hey, sometimes a job calls for a party or some drinks with the right people. I’ve never been hammered.” I looked away. “Except that one time I was jumped on Tatooine. That wasn’t a job, though.”

“Jumped outside a bar on Tatooine?” Rex repeated. I nodded. “Why?”

I grinned at him over the rim of my glass. “I had just finished a job, where I got a very large sum of credits. I’d been dumb and bought a round for the bar with my incredible amount of cash. They knew what I had.”

“Did they get it?”

“No,” I sighed, chuckling. “But they got some good hits in.” I pointed to one of the scars that ran along my brow.

Rex’s thumb came up immediately to trace the thin line. There was no hesitation behind his movement, his actions encouraged by alcohol. “You should thank them, really. It looks good.”

I smirked, breathing laughter through my nose. “Having fun?” a voice asked, making me jump a mile, Rex’s hand flashing away from my face. I turned, seeing a smirking Kix.

“We are,” I replied smoothly, greeting him. “Are you?”

“Well Tup has come back looking…” Kix looked over his shoulder to see the bright eyed clone looking consumed with euphoria as he danced with Vamira. “Happy.”

“Happy isn’t what I’d call it,” I smirked. Rex looked sideways at me with a raised brow. “I’d call it post-”

“Alright, Kida,” Kix frowned, crossing his arms at me. I shrugged at him, taking a long drink of whatever Merl had made me this time.

“What are you all doing sitting around?” Jesse called as he approached, arms spread wide in greeting, Fives beside him.

I tilted my head at them. “That wasn’t a very long dance,” I questioned, giving him a look.

Jesse shrugged, but laughed nonetheless. Fives looked sheepish, scuffing his boot along the ground. “We ran out of credits,” he mumbled, looking at the floor.

I laughed, smiling widely. “Rough when that happens, huh?” The clones scowled at me, but that only made me laugh harder.

“Whatever, Kida,” Jesse dismissed, rolling his eyes as he grabbed my elbow. “Now get your lazy ass up and dance with us.” I laughed, but let him pull me up, my drink in my other hand. Rex needed no coaxing this time, rising with his own drink and following his brothers out. The music was shifting away from the ones meant for dancing. Now….it was music meant for partying.

The bass of the song rumbled the floor, the lights pulsing as the people bounced with the song. My dancers danced in the neon glow, credits transferring hands endlessly. The lights reflected off the smoke of the swirling hookahs, intensifying the effects of the alcohol. We danced as a group, each of us reaching our limit of drinks as we leapt to the beat.

And then suddenly Hardcase was too drunk, stumbling sideways as he jumped, slamming into Rex’s shoulder. Rex fell into me, our drinks flying from our hands as we fell to the ground.

The next thing I knew, my face and dress were covered in cherry-colored liquor, the glass shattered somewhere on the ground behind me. Oh, and Rex was on top of me.

He grunted slightly and I felt a twinge of his pain through the Force. He blocked it out of his mind easily, though, as the trained soldier he was. He mumbled a string of apologies as he struggled to get off me, my face turned to the side to see his hand lift past me as he finally got himself into a crouch beside me. The tan skin was stained with a thin stream of red that also speckled the floor around shards of glass from our drinks.

He was bleeding.

“Wait, Rex,” I said as I sat up, my head spinning from the quick motion and the liquor. Or maybe I hit my head when we fell….I wasn’t entirely sure. I caught Rex’s hand as he turned, sitting up fully in the puddle of alcohol. “You’re bleeding,” I announced.

He seemed shocked by that, turning to face me and his split palm again, just as I was looking up from it. His face turned into mine, my eyes flinching shut as our lips met. We both froze, unmoving for a single moment, before jerking away awkwardly. I released his hand like it was on fire, scooting backwards under the guise that I was trying to stand.

Tup was at my side in an instant, helping me to my feet in my heels and quaking knees. “That was cute,” Fives joked, crossing his arms as he looked between Rex and I. The captain was still crouching, rather dumbfounded. He had shifted enough to allow Kix to examine his bleeding palm, but hadn’t stopped looking at me.

“Ne’johaa,” I growled, accepting the towel Vamira had grabbed from the bar. I used it to wipe myself off as best I could while Kix helped Rex to his feet.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Hardcase apologized, keeping it together despite how drunk we all obviously were. “I think I might have had a bit too much.”

“We all have,” I allowed, stepping over to hand Rex the towel to wipe himself off. “Let’s get that patched up.”

“I can,” Kix offered, but I shook my head.

“I need to go change anyways. I have bandages up there, too,” I assured him, earning a look from the brothers, but it was one of teasing and approval, at least. I gestured for Rex to head towards my office, the clone obeying as he took the towel with him, wiping at his face and neck.

“That really was cute,” Jesse offered, giving me a nudge to my shoulder. 

I rolled my eyes, but didn’t yell at him. “You guys are never going to let him live that down, are you?” I asked the group.

“Never,” Fives assure, laughing. Hardcase looked a little worse for wear behind him, Kix already trying to feed him water. “Well, go tend to him so we can get out of here. I think we’ve all had a bit too much.”

“Agreed,” I groaned, as the thumping of the music returned, but it was annoying this time instead of fun. I needed some water. 

“Wait.” The ARC trooper looked around, counting the faces he knew so well. “Where’s Tup?”

I glanced around, chuckling when I realized he’d run off with Vamira after they helped me up from my fall. “Relax,” I soothed as the clones looked worried. “Let him have his fun. I have to patch Rex up anyways and get my clothes back, so he can bring Tup home.”

“I see,” Fives teased. “Trying to get us out of the way? Am I not good enough for you, Kida?”

I laughed at his teasing, rolling my eyes as I waved him goodbye. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure your brothers get home safe.”

“Kida?” I stopped, turning to see Jesse calling back to me. “Rex has a meeting tomorrow at midday. Make sure he’s back by then, at least.” He said nothing else aside from a small smile that was mixed with sadness--much like the way Rex’s had been before I scolded him to forget the war.

The very intoxicated clones left. I turned and entered the back corridors of my facility. “Jali,” I said, greeting the Zabrak female. “Have you seen Vamira?”

The girl lifted her brow at me. “Are you really asking that?”

I chuckled at her snark, having known her for years now, she being one of the first dancers to join my club and help build it from the roots. “Well, if you happen to see her again….tell her she has my permission for Tup to stay. He has his superior’s permission, as well.”

Jali crossed her arms, smirking. “Does this superior know he’s given his permission?”

“Just tell her,” I said as I walked past her, navigating the halls towards my private lift. I took it up, finding Rex waiting in my office. “The medicine box is in here,” I explained, drawing it from a drawer in my desk. He began cleaning his wound while I exited to the side room, where I had a bed and fresher. 

I showered quickly, taking off the makeup and alcohol that was beginning to get sticky. When I emerged again, now in stretching black pants and a baggy shirt, I found Rex struggling to place a bacta-patch over his wound. I stepped forward, my wet hair falling into my face as I focused on his hand, scooching up onto the desk beside him.

My fingers took the place of his, carefully guiding the patch into place over his marred palm. “You got all the glass out?” I asked, glancing up at him through my dripping locks.

“Every last piece,” Rex assured, giving me a smirk that crinkled the corners of his eyes. I returned the expression before glancing down at his palm that still rested in my lap. 

“I’m glad,” I whispered, the bass of the music from the club vibrating just slightly through the floor. “You know they’re going to tease you about this forever, right?”

Rex cocked his head at me as his brain mulled it all over. “Well, knowing you, you’ve already told them all to go home and have planned everything perfectly.” My brows rose at his bluntness. Drunk Rex was interesting. “And my men already teased me about you, especially Fives. Though now,” he added, “it will likely only be worse.”

I frowned slightly. “I’m sorry I gave them so much ammunition tonight.”

To my surprise, Rex shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do about what they say, and it brings up their spirits to tease me. But,” he tilted his head. “This will be harder for me now.”

“This? What do you mean?”

He looked up, his pupils blown out so far that they almost concealed the gold color of his irises. “It’s going to be even harder for me to pretend I don’t feel the way I feel.”

My lips parted slightly in the beginning of a gape before I stopped myself. I shook my head when I couldn’t find words. “I’m sorry. I’m not….good with these things.”

Rex smiled. “I’m the same. I’m better with a broken pistol than talking about...anything really. But I’m trying to be better.” He looked into my eyes again. “You make me want to be better.”

Every part of me leapt with joy, but there was that one bit of my brain that realized how long we’d been apart. And how much had changed.

“Rex,” I smiled sadly. “I feel this energy, too….but I am not the person I was when I left a year ago.”

“No,” he allowed. “But I still see parts of her in you. You’ve changed, but not for the worse, Kida.” His hand finally lifted to touch my cheek gently, my eyes sliding closed at the contact. “You said I wasn’t allowed to think about consequences, so I won’t.” 

My eyes flashed open only briefly before they closed again at the touch of lips against my own. His callused hands cupped my face with a gentleness I never imagined a trained soldier to have. It was like a drug, pulling me into his warmth like water washing away my worries and fears. There was nothing but him.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against my own so he could look at me. My eyes were closed for a moment longer while I did my best to memorize how it had felt for his mouth to move against mine. The tangy flavor of the rum on his breath. The slight chapping of his bottom lip from chewing at it beneath his helmet. The racing of his heart beneath the fingers I laid over the pulsing point of his neck.

When I opened my eyes, I saw only gold and the endless reflection of his dilated pupils. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.” The words were barely above a whisper and in the rough dialect of the culture we were both trained under.

But they were enough. At one time, I’d wanted to hear him say those words in Basic, as if that were braver. But I’d come to realize that Mando’a was almost sacred to the clones. It was a language for them. It defined them. Gave them something that banded them together more than their training and DNA.

With a slow breath, I let myself think about my answer. And it dawned on me that I only had one answer for him, as all others would have been lies. I pulled back so I could look at Rex’s entire face. A smile graced my rosy lips. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum,” I replied quietly before leaning up again, using my toes to lift me to his height again.

His strong arms wrapped around me tightly, his head leaning in to deepen the kiss. “Another one bites the dust,” he whispered against my lips with a grin. I smiled against his lips as he pushed me further against my desk, eager. It was nice to see him like this--unreserved and daring. He was always brave, but he never acted by his heart. It was always his head.

Alcohol clearly brought his heart.

And I felt that his heart laid with me. I felt it in the delicate way he would learn more while kissing and alter his course to perfect it. I felt it in the way his arms clamped around me as if he was afraid I was going to be ripped away from him. I felt it in the quick fluttering of his heart. And in the peaceful oasis that was his mind.

And that night, when we finally put away the rum and went to sleep, I snuggled up against him, tucking my head under his chin. His arms encircled me, kisses skimming across my hair, I found peace.

In the same way I nestled into his chest, I nestled into the tranquility that was his mind. While it constantly raced, it was calculated and organized. Except the parts that focused around me. Those were more jumbled and confusing. But those were also where the warmest feelings stemmed from. It’s where his love stemmed from.

So I nestled my focus into his projected mental warmth, silencing everything else that usually sang to me through the Force at night. In that sweet silence, I heard only the beating of Rex’s heart and the soft breath moving through his open lips. I pressed a final kiss to his jawline, the man barely reacting aside from a sleepy smile he likely wouldn’t recall in the morning. In the peace of the man I now knew I loved, I found sweet, dreamless sleep.

------------------------------------

MANDO’A

Skanah --- very hated person (on the level of fucker)

Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum--- i love you

RYL

Ma’allesh---- goodbye

Sahak tuev san--- don’t push me

------------------------

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

Sorry for the long wait on chapters. I’m going to try to update more often so you guys have something to look forward to while quarantined! 

A longer chapter for you all! Hope you enjoy!

We move onto the Padawan Lost arc next!

As always, reviews/comments/likes/reposts/shares are always welcome!

-Ryder

[lanseax]

omg i love your critical role lightsabers!! can you explain the designs for each lightsaber?!

oh 🥺 of course!! 💕

Fjord: It’s Star-Razor but with the sea still in it. He may not be serving Uk’otoa anymore but his entire life was based on the waves and the sea. It felt natural

Caduceus: I wanted to get it as close to his staff as I could but I shifted the crystal position to make it work.

Veth/Nott: So I associate green & yellow with Veth a lot so it only made sense to choose a golden accented grip with a green blade. It’s smaller, not Yoda size but a bit bigger. The bone/claw can also be used as a weapon and found it gave the saber a more rogue-ish feel.

Caleb: okay listen the saber looks super simple but here’s the thing, Caleb is everything a Sith Inquisitor could be other than super fucking evil. So he’s gonna have a super simple saber but it’s curved to offer a simple grip not reliant on strength but mobility and it can be wielded easily with one hand, allowing his other hand to be used to cast “spells” aka use the force

Yasha: So her handle is longer as to provide that greatsword type of feeling to handle it with two hands. The curved guard on the side offers protection but also a good heavy object to bash people’s faces with. Her crystal is obviously joined by four other crystals, not that they count as kyber crystals necessarily but to show off her devotion to the Storm Lord. I was going to add chains on the lower piece but that’s the old Yasha ya know?

Beau: What can I say, she of course would use a double bladed saber. Wooden grip for that smooth feeling with gold instead of silver metal as an accent pairing. The matching sides allow swift movements and keep the blade balanced.

Jester: I’ll be 100% honest, I based it a bit off of Leah and Anakin’s sabers. Of course adorned with a beautiful pink bow like her ax, and promoting the Traveler with every swing.

Thank you so much for the ask 💕 I’m so glad you liked it!!!