#and his character was just really fucking cool

[selinakylemybeloved]

the struggle with being aroace in this fandom (besides shipping culture) is that like. I want to explore characters as aspec but I really fucking hate aspects hcs for characters that r infantilized. Like for example Cass is so often treated as invisible, a baby, or a pet that any exploration of her being aspec immediately sets of red flags. Same with Tim.

Which sucks bc it’s not like there’s nothing interesting to explore! Asexual Dick would be such a cool concept to dive into. I’ve been wanting to write a oneshot about aroace Tim who doesn’t get into relationships bc he ‘doesn’t want his cover blown’ and refuses to dig deeper. Hell, aroace Cass would be interesting if it subverts the above and is about her feeling like she’s failing at being a person, feeling like her aspecness is part of why she’s failing, and dismantling the internalized aphobia. It’d be so neat to see Jason thinking he’s a late bloomer before the pit and thinking the pit stole romantic/sexual attraction from him after the pit. I lowkey hc Steph as ace just bc she wears purple.

but like. I haven’t read many fics (in general but also in this fandom) that manage to write an aspec character without it being at least partially the I-dont-see-this-character-as-mature-so-I’ll-make-them-aspec thing. If anyone has fic recs lmk 🫠

[crime-scene-psychic]

I honestly think that the Nolan Batman trilogy was the best and worst thing to happen to the Batman franchise, because on one hand, it was the first live-action instance of trying to make Batman more gritty and serious (because while the Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney movies took the story much more seriously than the 60s television show, they were still goofy at times, which is why I honestly think they're the best rendition of Batman, because they were able to balance silliness with seriousness, which is what Batman is all about, but that's obviously an entirely different thesis) which then allowed for more people to take comic book movies serious, consequently leading to the rise of the DCEU and, obviously, the MCU (we would not have the MCU today and the actual good movies that came out of it without Nolan's trilogy, there's simply no argument there).

However, the Nolan trilogy also unfortunately made "dark, gritty Batman" the norm, meaning that once anyone tries to actually have some fun with Batman, they immediately get shit on by comic book dude bros. It also created the most annoying characterization of the Joker that everyone has been trying to replicate since and no one will be able to replicate, because they simply do not understand the character (I honest to God think the closest live-action actor who has ever made a Joker character work besider Heath Ledger was Cameron Monaghan in the Gotham television show, and he wasn't even really Joker??? but at least he didn't make it everyone else's problem and was a good mix of goofy and psychotic, not just psychotic) and will never be Heath Ledger (but they don't stop trying much to my forever annoyment).

And while I can recognize the cultural and significant impact on the comic and film community that Nolan's trilogy had, it is still by far my least favorite adaptation because of how serious it takes itself (and of course, the racism. The racism is actually the bigger one for me. Fuck Christopher Nolan for that. Ra's al Ghul is NOT a white man just because you want a plot twist, and you CANNOT just erase Bane being mixed race because you fucking FEEL LIKE IT because him being mixed race is extremely relevant to his origin). Batman has had serious moments in the comics, don't get me wrong, and I know things must evolve and change over time and that I cannot expect an 80 year old character to not be further developed throughout the decades, but it almost feels as if Nolan and Goyer (the writer) read a Sparks Notes version of the history of Batman, cracked their knuckles, and said "yeah, I think I got it."

Spoiler alert: they did not get it.

When I watch the Nolan trilogy (which I haven't in quite some time and I really don't want to, even to prove a point to people on the Internet) I notice how uninspired it feels, story-wise. While the action and cinematography is excellent, the story is lacking for me, and when you're telling a story like Batman, that has decades of content, you cannot just forgo storytelling for cool special effects.

I'd much rather watch a Batman adaptation that has the shittiest effects known to man with a writer who whole-heartily cares for the characters they're writing and has taken time to research. And that's honestly one of the biggest problems the comic book film industry is having now, both DC and Marvel. They're not hiring people who actually care about these characters to write them and they're focusing much more at appealing to everyone they can instead of who the movies should be made for: fans.

You're gonna have such a harder time convincing my mom, a woman who only cares about Wonder Woman, to watch the new Captain America film than you would someone who has read the Sam Wilson Cap comic run. And while this entire issue stems from the fact that the film industry is just that, an industry, and has become less about filmmakers making art and more-so how much money investors and producers can get out of ticket sales, it is still infuriating to see franchises you care deeply about be ruined by guys just there to cash their paychecks and be done with it.

And really, the film industry as we know it needs to be fucking demolished from the inside out, but that will never happen and now we're a bit off-topic. So, back to Batman.

I think another issue I have with newer live-action Batman adaptations is that they choose to forgo a VERY IMPORTANT character when it comes to Batman/Bruce Wayne's evolution as a character and story line.

Robin.

Since whatever the fuck the casting of Chris O'Donnell in 1995 was (why was he, like, a grown man?), people have been afraid to touch a live-action Dick Grayson with a six-foot pole (besides Titans, which I'm gonna get to in a sec). Which is ridiculous, because he is, like I said, an insanely important character when it comes to showing the growth Bruce Wayne goes through.

Bruce Wayne becomes Batman because he is so angry about his parent's deaths and the corruption of Gotham that he doesn't know what else to do. All the money in the world cannot change things for the better, his own father tried and died for his troubles, and he is left with no other option. Bruce Wayne works during the day to fight corruption via charity and his company, Batman works during the night and is able to do what Bruce Wayne can't (beating the shit out of people, mainly). The two are separate sides of the same coin.

And despite this seeming like a good arrangement, it's pretty obvious in most adaptations (at least they get THAT right) that beating the shit out of people in back alleys is not a good replacement for therapy. You're able to see the toll being Batman has on Bruce. He quickly becomes more occupied with being a vigilante than being himself. Bruce needs something to break through this internal struggle and help him balance both lives.

And so a boy named Dick Grayson comes along.

Dick's so important (and so are the other Robins, of course, but Dick being the first means I have to talk about him a bit more) because he forced Bruce to get his shit together. Here's a boy who's about the same age Bruce was when his parents died, who also just saw his parents killed in front of him, and is so full of rage he has no idea what to do. Sounds familiar...

Bruce is able to help himself by helping Dick. He gives him an outlet to vent his anger and frustrations while also looking out for him in the best way he can. While there are many issues with how Robin comes to be in various comic runs (and if this was real life it would be fucking ridiculous) Dick becoming Robin is extremely important. If he hadn't been taken in by Bruce Wayne, if he'd been allowed to let that anger continue to bubble up inside of him, he probably would have killed Tony Zucco and that would have been enough to set Dick down a terrible path he might not recover from.

The same goes for Bruce. If he were to set out and kill the person who shot his parents, he wouldn't be a hero anymore because that single event would shatter the entire point of Batman, which is that he is not meant to decide who lives and dies. If he were, how would he be any different than all the villains in Gotham that he fights as Batman? How would he be better than the corrupt businessman and politicians that he has to battle as Bruce Wayne? He wouldn't.

Batman needs Robin and Robin needs Batman, because they are yin and yang. Light within darkness, darkness within light. You cannot separate these characters and still tell an accurate story, it's impossible. I think that's a huge issue Nolan's movies have, on top of many others. You cannot accurately present to me a Batman story if there is no Robin, just as you couldn't give me a Robin story without Batman.

Every Robin is so important to how Bruce Wayne as a character is developed, and disregarding this as a creator is not only disrespectful to the character, it misses the entire point. I refuse to take your adaptation of Batman seriously if you can't figure out how important Robin is. He isn't just some kid sidekick, he isn't an optional side character, he is what makes Batman human. You cannot have gritty, Neo-noir Batman and forgo Robin just because you see him as the sidekick in tights. When Batman was silly and took itself less seriously, sure, there wasn't a lot to Robin nor Batman's troubling pasts. But now that you want to deep dive into Bruce Wayne's psyche and pick apart what makes him the way he is you wanna throw in the towel and erase the part that humanizes him? Fuck. You.

You can't make a complex Bruce Wayne and take away parts that help audiences understand his complexities, that's fucking STUPID!

Titans, for all its faults and problems, will always have my gratitude as it had the fucking balls to give, without a doubt, the best and most rounded live-action adaptation of Dick Grayson we have ever seen. Titans introduces Dick at a very important and rocky time in his character arch: him leaving Bruce.

If you're not in the know, there's a falling out between Bruce and Dick that's been written a couple different ways over the years, but all comes down to Dick being "fired" from being Robin and leaving Gotham. This is a bit of a newer story line in comparison to how long the character of Dick Grayson has been around, and eventually leads to Dick becoming independent from Bruce, signalling his evolution from "side kick" to his own hero, Nightwing. However, there's issues with Dick having to give up the Robin mantel, because it's something that is whole-heartily Dick Grayson. Robin wasn't something Bruce Wayne came up with, it was the nickname his parents gave to him. Even the colors are his, those were the colors of the Flying Graysons' uniforms. Robin is much more than just a vigilante alter-ego to Dick, it is the last link he has to his past and his parents. So when this is taken away from him and given to another, this causes a huge internal struggle for Dick, as he has to deal with the anger he now has for Bruce, a man he originally looked up to and idolized. This is Dick seeing how wrong it was for Bruce to do some of the things he did to Dick, despite at the time those choices being what both needed.

The way Titans is able to portray this extremely delicate time in Dick's story line in a way that not only makes sense for his character, but also allows for growth is really admirable. Like I said, the show isn't perfect by any means (can I PLEASE get a Romani actor to play Dick PLEASE) but it's the first time I feel that the character is wholeheartedly taken serious in a live-action setting. You can tell the writers have a better idea about how the characters should interact in a live-action setting and while some choices are questionable to me, the heart is there.

Nolan's movies in comparison feel soulless and devoid of all creativity and love. He does not care about these characters, no matter how much he tries to make you think that, and he never will. Christopher Nolan, you will NEVER convince me that you give two shits about Bruce Wayne. And if you, the director, can't bother to care, why should the audience? Why should I care about your adaptation if you can't even be bothered to put an ounce of individuality into it?

With Matt Reeves' Batman films underway, things are getting worse again. For a while, we only had to deal with the shitty Joker adaptations that tried to replicate Ledger's Joker, but with the Reeves Batman movies, the film bros are making themselves known again. I remember when the new design for the Riddler dropped and I said it was shit and people on Twitter and YouTube got SO PISSY at me and told me I just don't understand Batman and that I'm childish for enjoying the designs for Gotham Riddler/ Batman Forever Riddler and whatever and that I'm stupid, which none of those things are true, I hate to be confident in anything, but I think I know more about Batman than you do, Twitter troll.

The suit sucked and the character sucked. They just created a new character but gave him the Riddler's name. That's NOT the Riddler. That's honestly closer to Hush than Riddler, so just... do that? But of course, less people know about Hush than Riddler, and you're not trying to make a film for fans, you're trying to make money, so why would you ever be so silly as to do that! I'm not gonna talk to much about the new Riddler, just because it's super old news and it's not the point I was trying to make here, it's just something that continues to piss me off when it comes to gritty recreations of characters, because Riddler really never was supposed to be some Zodiac Killer wannabe, he's supposed to be a guy who leaves you riddles and makes you solve them and he's supposed to be a little silly about it. And I'm not saying you can't do a more gritty Riddler, because Arkham Knights did it super well imo! Just don't reinvent the wheel! Don't just make a new character and call him by another's name, that's a disservice to the character themselves and their creators.

This is a hard topic, because you have people who get the point of these characters (people who have actually read a comic before and paid attention to the story) but you also have insufferable film/comic bros who worship the ground Nolan and Reeves walks upon and who don't even take time to explore the rest of the Batfamily comics (his gang of vigilante children show up in the stand-alone Batman comics, though, so I don't know how they're missing this, unless they have the reading comprehension of a goldfish, which they probably do tbh). It's why I think a lot of these weirdos don't like Gotham Knights or Wayne Family Adventures, because they hate the thought of there being any semblance of fun in the Batman franchise. Not everything needs to be doom and gloom! Let Dick Grayson be bisexual and let Bruce Wayne have a PTA rival! You can have your cake and eat it too!

I know this seems like a silly sentiment coming from a person who just wrote an entire essay on this, but maybe don't take Batman so seriously? I don't mean, of course, that you can't care about these characters, I'm actually saying the opposite! I care very deeply for these characters, so much that I obviously spat all this out. I just think some people need to fucking chill when it comes to realistically portraying Batman. There's nothing wrong with taking a more serious approach to the characters and I have no problem modernizing them, but you can't just have action hero Batman, you have to have the human behind the mask too. And if you can't balance that, then I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be making Batman adaptations, because you obviously don't understand what the character is about.

I'm nervous to see where Reeves will go with the character, and only time will tell. I've heard rumors he plans to introduce Robin, I've heard rumors he doesn't. Either way, it's obviously out of my hands and I'll have opinions either way, but I really hope he has a better understanding of the history of the franchise than Nolan. While I appreciate, again, what Nolan did for revolutionizing not only the Batman franchise but the comic movie industry as well, I can still find faults in how he went about things. I truly don't believe we can have a worthy adaptation of Batman live action without Robin and without embracing the silliness of Batman's villains and I really hope producers, writers, and directors realize that soon.

Sorry if you read all that...

[majimaisms]

on majima's relationship to power, dignity and freedom

a friend of mine was recently talking about a character from a movie, and whether or not an emotional response (specifically, anxiety and obligation over a loved one needing help) was something that character could "effectively discipline and draw from" or "something that will always threaten to overflow rational boundaries" and posed the question as: "does he make use of it, or does it make use of him?"

this, i believe, is how majima approaches quite literally everything in his life, up to and including, if not especially, his own emotions.

i think it's an anxiety over their agency and freedom that compels a person to ask this question about everything. because they're terrified of being used against their will, without their knowledge, of waking up one day and realizing they've been a slave to something because they refused to examine their relationship to it. and i think it takes 1. someone who is naturally very emotional, as in, inclined to make decisions based on emotions rather than rationalizations, and can't afford to be this way for whatever reason and 2. someone who has been robbed of their agency and freedom in the past, to develop this anxiety. majima more than fits the bill on both counts.

it's born out of a need to maintain power over this fear. it's literally pathological. his need to make tools out of everything. it's a disease. either hes wielding it, or being wielded as a tool by it, whatever "it" may be. its a binary, black and white choice, and it's not really a choice at all, because he absolutely refuses to risk the latter happening against his will. he needs to have control over himself, his life, his decisions, all the time or he feels like hes stuck, cornered, he panics and cant keep a cool head (all of y0, '85 flashbacks from y4). he freaks out. and he cant risk that, he cant stand it either.

but it's not even about that. it's about dignity. majima tries to navigate the entirety of those situations, where he's robbed of freedom, where he's cornered, with dignity. because it's all he has. and when even that is stripped from him (the hole, y0), he seeks out the most dignified way to deal with losing your dignity -- willingly letting go of it (the lord of the night).

we see him put to impossible choices in other games (y5 comes to mind) and he handles that just fine without freaking out even when he's cornered. the difference is that in y5 he had a dignified way of resolving that situation. what actually makes him "freak out" and lose his cool is being robbed of a dignified solution. the dignity in following his principles, not betraying himself, is something he goes ballistic at the thought of losing.

it's not just that he can't "risk" not being able to keep a cool head, or that he can't "stand" freaking out, its that he can't stand the humiliation of it. of not being perfectly composed and in control of himself all the time. he's too proud. and this is why mad dog is so therapeutic for him, because its a character who doesn't give a single fuck about how hes perceived, wielded by a guy who cares excessively about how hes perceived. he learns so much from mad dog over the course of the series, i genuinely think mad dog saved his life. because i was thinking about all of this going, my god. youre in the YAKUZA???? and youre living like THAT?? no fucking wonder he had to invent a persona to larp as just to not shoot himself.

but thinking more about it, it's like. of COURSE he is. of COURSE hes yakuza. because!! as a civilian, you're just slave to the same system everyone else is a slave to. you have to bow to it, and you don't even get a choice. so... what does he do. he makes his own choice. if hes going to be a slave in a system, it's going to be a system of his own choosing that he can respect, however flawed. yes, he's not "free" in the yakuza, and that is something he struggles with, but it's more about freedom of choice for him.

like. what a fucking thing to say. you cant attach a price to my life. you cant make USE of my life. you cannot USE my death as a TOOL to further your own ends. because that's what ibuchi is saying, that he'll kill majima and his death will start a war which he will benefit from. and he refuses to BE that for anyone.

...other than, of course, shimano and the men he respects, of which there are SO few in the tojo. (hello kiryu. hello saejima. this guy is in desperate need of people he respects and he will follow them around like a dog because he really wants to surrender power and "bow his head" because he's so exhausted from having to maintain it against himself and the world 24/7.)

look at his face in this scene. he's completely distraught. over having been used in some scheme without his knowledge. robbed of his autonomy. i have never seen him look like this at any other point in the series.

true resignation. utter defeat. this is partly what birthed mad dog, nihilism incarnate. sure, it takes being faced with the possibility that makoto will never wake up to finally "awaken" mad dog, but this is where majima is drawing his strength from -- this ability to tap into a state of complete indifference. this void. death.

even sera is surprised. but this is the moment he understands exactly what kind of person majima is. because yes, of course he would. majima, and people like majima, will jump at any chance to make their deaths count, because they're constantly living with the guilt of all the terrible shit they've done up to that point. having the opportunity to die for a good cause, knowing it won't redeem them but get them at least a little closer to it, is a blessing. they don't have to think twice about it. this is the death drive he's tapping into.

above all, majima wants to be useful. i think this need characterizes his relationship with kiryu, who is someone he respects. he's basically begging to let kiryu help him throughout y3. he agrees to go back to the clan because kiryu asks, twice. he's willing to die so haruka can live, because his death can accomplish something good. it's no choice at all.

but i'm far more interested in how this manifests in his relationship with shimano. this excerpt from an rggo story comes to mind.

i think shimano was, in a lot of ways, a tether for majima. the "leash" imagery is very accurate, but it suggests an entirely negative reading of their dynamic. the truth is majima likes being leashed. not only that, he needs it. he's just very discerning about who he will let leash him. he needs purpose in his life, needs to know hes useful, and for that he needs to devote himself to someone. and it needs to be a person, because he's too cynical to believe in a cause.

what that excerpt tells me is that he lost his respect for shimano. and when he died, majima became untethered. from the world. in the absence of saejima, or anyone else who could be that for him, he's adrift and aimless. lost.

it's not a coincidence he leaves the clan immediately after shimano dies. it's because of this, because of terada (he won't bow to someone he doesn't respect), and because he has, on some level, completed a large part of his duty to saejima by establishing his own family. he is without purpose. and i think it's maintaining this state of existence for years that turns him into the depressed, defeated man we see in y5.

he got burnt out, because it's exhausting being in this kind of active conflict with yourself all the time in the name of maintaining a sense of personal power and agency. over even your own emotions. he's truly relentless. but sooner or later, it was going to catch up to him.

[thewadapan]

Maybe Nost's best story! Also his least fun. Definitely did not like reading most of it. Would recommend reading... maybe any of the others over this one?

I think with The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen, Nost has managed to write a book which is haunted.

Stepping back a little. Herschel Schoen seems to have been conceived almost as a short story, which only happens to be as long as it is as a result of the (deliberately) belaboured and verbose prose used by all the narrators. It's much closer to The Northern Caves in this respect, which I remember as being mostly straightforward and intelligible, with only the highly-divisive ending leaving me with a dangling "??????" to grapple with. Meanwhile, with Floornight and Almost Nowhere, I often struggled to keep up with the object-level facts of what was even happening in the plot/world, and I feel like I mostly read those stories "on vibes", following them mostly in terms of their subtext.

So yeah, Herschel Schoen to me felt like it was using the "fairytale" format of being a Christmas story to streamline things as much as possible, such that both the object-level events of the story and the batshit conceptual-melting-pot subtext were more or less legible to me, despite Herschel's incredibly unreliable prose. There is a sense in which it feels like a children's story to me. It has very few characters, and those characters are extraordinarily archetypal.

So I do think Almost Nowhere retains its crown as Nost's most ambitious, most revolutionary, and most complex novel—if I say that I found Herschel Schoen "better", it's only because I feel I was able to understand it. It speaks more to my failure as a reader than anything.

In terms of my experience as a reader, it was fairly similar to that described by @recordcrash in his review. Most of the story is a fucking struggle to get through, mostly because of... the prose? The pacing? These issues are really the same issue: what few events occur in the book take ages to describe, and the fact that every recounting takes forever means that there physically isn't room to cram in more events. And as Makin Recordcrash puts it: I just don't enjoy hearing the thoughts of an unwell mind, particularly at length. All of Nost's books have it, this entirely-made-up concept which "you just wouldn't understand" but which it nevertheless will tell you about at length. There's Salby and mundum in The Northern Caves, there's Azad and the aliens in Almost Nowhere, there's whatever the metaphysics shit was in Floornight (I forgor), and this is the book that has the most of it, proportionally.

(My girlfriend bounced right off it- actually, let me use this opportunity to tell a story. When we first met, we were talking about the internet or something, and for whatever reason at one point I unironically said something like "oh yeah I read this cool novel set on a forum but you probably wouldn't have heard of it" and she just went "oh do you mean The Northern Caves?" and I briefly became convinced that she was some sort of psyop intended to oneshot me, a notion I have still not been able to shake over two years later. Point is her remark on the first two chapters of Herschel Schoen was something like "it's too Nostalgebraist for me", which I think is understandable.)

Anyway, like Makin, I struggled with most of the book, only for Chapter 21 to be so fucking good that it sort of retroactively made the rest of the book good, at least insofar as it was mostly necessary to set up such an audacious ending? Even knowing that this had been Makin's reaction, I wasn't prepared to believe it—again, usually Nost books are very much the other way around—but lo and behold, the twist is in fact very clever, very fun to read, and very aligned with my aesthetic interests.

All that said, I do feel like Makin sort of bombed through the book (by comparison, it's taken me almost two weeks to finish it), and maybe missed out on some of the more fun and interesting stuff the book is doing on a thematic level. Below, I'll try to delve into my interpretations in more detail.

I've seen a few takes from people that the main thematic throughlines of this book are a bit disconnected from one another, but to me this couldn't be further from the truth.

I identified four main themes, in descending order of prominence: "neurodivergence", "AI", "media", and "capitalism". I guess you could say "Christmas" is something of a fifth ur-theme, which dovetails into these in superficial ways:

Neurodivergence—the idea of "believing in Santa Claus" is framed as stunted development, a delusion which reveals someone to be less mature mentally than they are physically. The book is specifically concerned with contrasting dysfunctional "child" behaviour with functional "adult" behaviour, flipping these ideas on their head by having Ruth and Miriam basically lose it over the course of the story. A sister inverted. Also, the "preparations" needed to be made before Christmas morning are very much analogised with obsessive compulsions, right?

AI—like Santa Claus, something which promises to fulfil all our wishes, instantly, at the same time.

Media—particularly in terms of relations between Christianity and... secular Christmas, right? The story is very much riffing on the structure of Christmas stories specifically. To me, it feels like a world literally dreamed up based on Christmas stories. That, more than anything, is why it's set in New York, I think.

Capitalism—notions of "wanting", of meritocracy. I don't know, we all know "A Christmas Carol", I don't need to explain this one.

Like, if I had to guess at the genesis of this book, based on Nostalgebraist's comments, I feel like it's taking the starting point of "story about what if the AI doomers were right" -> "through the lens of Christmas" -> "[everything else in the story]". Of course there are tons of other influences in there, but those to me feel like the two ideas with the most explanatory power.

But even if you discount the underlying idea "Christmas", I don't think you could tell a good story about AI (in its current form) without writing about neurodivergence, media, or capitalism. If we're tasked with imagining a non-human mind, it makes sense to first imagine the most-non-human human mind, right? If we're talking about the machine's output, its facsimile of media, we have to talk about the real thing too, right? And if we're asking about the purpose of AI, what exactly it is we're trying to industrialise, what scarcity we are trying to erase, then we have to talk about capitalism as well! For me this was all perfectly obvious, I dunno.

I was pleased that I noticed many of the same things @weaselandfriends identified in his list of observations on the book. When it described the wall of doors in the living room, my mind went, "that's fucking weird!", though I didn't really think too deeply about it. The same things goes for all the anachronisms, which I think is one of the story's best gimmicks. Yes, for most of the story, they serve to create a "timeless" atmosphere, evoking all these Christmas stories at once, while simultaneously putting into doubt the reality of what Herschel and Miriam are describing.

But then, of course, with the twist, I think it's pretty hard not to read these as anything other than hallucinations conjured by the AI. And what I think is particularly brilliant is that the story at no point calls direct attention to the anachronisms as being of particular significance—you only notice them because you know enough "facts" about the real world to notice them—which naturally calls into question the elements of the story which are wholly ficticious, where there's no ground truth to compare against. Just how real are Herschel, Miriam, Ruth, anyone!? And does it even matter how real they are?

Part of the book's "magic trick", as I read it, is that both interpretations of Herschel's POV are able to coexist within the reality of the story. We can imagine that there really existed a boy perhaps called Herschel Schoen (just as we can imagine there really existed a guy called Jesus? This is silly, pretend I didn't say that) who perhaps lived in New York City and lived with some kind of delusion, perhaps regarding an Original Creation that only babies remember. Like, even this much isn't certain, perhaps Herschel is entirely hallucinated; the story is in fact preoccupied with the question of whether or not there's even any difference. Anyway, at some point, the AI apocalypse happens (I think this is one thing we can be pretty confident about), and for the AI's own purposes, Herschel is resurrected/recreated (again like Christ- disregard this aside!) in an "emended" form, where whatever changes are made mean that he is in fact right about the Original Creation and the future etc, his mind really was tampered with. The concept of "emendation" seems to me to be the biggest point in favour of the book overall believing that a substitution is not the same as the original; that the "transformation" of one shape into another does not mean it becomes the other, as its own history remains distinct (much as the "original" events of whatever happened to the "original" Herschel on the "original" Christmas Day can be said to have, in some sense, happened—and cannot, should not, be "forgotten"). But maybe these elements of the story were intended to be disparate, though, or related in some other way, and I'm just conflating them?

One of my favourite interpretations that I've seen raised in a couple of places is that Herschel's writings, with which he literally armours himself, are in fact literally protecting him against oblivion, because the AI can only learn based on the written word or recorded speech. It doesn't really matter what happens to the papers, so long as they are written at all. Herschel pours so much of himself into those papers so as to be understood, and in the end he is understood—if not by Miriam and Ruth, then by the only being he needs to be understood by: this machine. He secures his own existence, in at least some limited form, in the "Original Creation", simply through his writing. I think Herschel is the "most real" part of the story.

It's Miriam, though—the second-"most real" element—that I think makes this story haunted. It's the way she packs all those papers into a suitcase, and for the briefest of moments you can breathe a sigh of relief, that we're one step closer to understanding how this book came to be, in-universe. But immediately, it's obvious that this explains nothing, it explains less than nothing, because there are all these chapters which just don't fit, they can't be neatly contained in that suitcase. Bavitz draws direct parallels between the inexplicable frame narrative and the anachronisms, and he's absolutely right to do so. The story is often very careful about providing something which looks "quite right", at a glance, but the moment you think about it, this pit opens up under you. Something about this metatextual conceit actually makes my skin crawl.

It feels pat to say, "oh, that's because it's trying to evoke AI hallucinations". I feel like that's only part of it, because again, most of Nost's novels have this to some extent. But yeah, I think if you wanna read Herschel Schoen as a horror novel, then this is what is scary about it. Conceptually, everything with Miriam mainly recalls for me the idea of "crashes" from Almost Nowhere, which were one of the big horror elements there, the idea that the world you're walking around in is actually, imperceptibly, some kind of not-world filled with not-people. But more directly, I find myself remembering a bit from the third act of OCTO (a criminally underrated and under-discussed webnovel) where a superintelligence is trying to "resurrect" a human, and keeps putting her in increasingly-lifelike simulated "habitats" to try and create the right set of "inputs" that will make her function properly—i.e., without just like, screaming. I feel like that is what we see happen to Miriam in this book. I feel like, when the lights go out, at the end, it has nothing to do with light at all: it's more that the machine just no longer needs to simulate a world for Miriam, at all. The transmission stops. And then what becomes of her?

I think this sort of brings us to Ruth, doesn't it? A big point is made about how there's a difference between "Miriam" and "my sister, Miriam". As though in the latter, the reality of "Miriam" in the training data is watered down by all these tropes surrounding sisterhood. I mean, fuck, maybe that's where the incest stuff comes from, right? I feel like similarly, there's a reading for Ruth where the AI is first conflating these images of "a mother" with these images of "a terrorist". She acts like a fucking cartoon character for much of the book, as many of the less-well-drawn characters do, and I think that's entirely deliberate. As she draws more on the "terrorist" tropes, she stops being a "mother". And again I think this is what Nostalgebraist has always done so fucking well, in that the bullshit sci-fi allegory stuff can also just be read on an entirely character-driven level: here is a resentful, neglectful, ultimately abusive mother, here's the emotional reality of that, heightened and communicated.

I think this provides a vague stab at an explanation for the beating scene that Bavitz found so confusing. It's like the AI draws on this trope of like... the mother, in the kitchen, with the frying pan. It puts the pan in her hand. But it's not actually a frying pan, it's just the image of a frying pan. In reality, did Herschel's mother beat him? How did she beat him? Hell, maybe she didn't, maybe the AI just got so caught up in playing out the trope of the abusive parent that is gets to the point of this beating, and then just dream-logics itself to the next thing in its training data, where of course the beating never happened. I don't like that, it feels like we're gaslighting the kids here (which I think is very much the allegory intended) by saying it was just a hallucination. I think something like it happened in reality, and cannot, should not, be "forgotten". But I think the book does want you to think that its depiction does, in some way, break from reality. Hell, in much the same way that child abuse might be said to break the reality of family? Nah, that's too pat, isn't it?

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that, ironically, I found the novel was at its best, and at its most human, when it was writing frankly about the experience of mental illness, about family, about institutions, about childhood. So what's maybe frustrating is that I'm not actually convinced Nost is capable of writing a... shall we call it a "normal" story about those things? A story with no metatextual bullshit, no sci-fi conceit, but a realist story. There are parts of all his books, where I really think that the explanation for why they are the way they are is that they are "bad on purpose", and all the bullshit is a way of turning these shortcomings into strengths. The self-effacing voice which whispers that the characters aren't sufficiently well-drawn, are too cartoonish—well, what if that was the point? What if there was a reason for that, in the story?

But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Straightup, if these were normal stories set in reality, I wouldn't be fucking reading them. This is a web author who's trained himself on a bunch of classic lit, and a bunch of anime or whatever, and has smooshed those influences together and rocket-fuelled the result. It's inimitable. I deeply admire just how experimental Nostalgebraist's writing is. No-one else is doing it like him.

Anyway, what else. Herschel gets described as having a "shell" at various points, and Frederick's surname is "Eggert". Is that anything?

The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen

My fourth novel, The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen, is now available in full.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

[tobiasdrake]

You pointing out that Vegeta in the Saiyan and Namek sagas was very consistently characterized as someone who never loses track of anything that happens on the battlefield made me realize how much of an “oh fuck” moment it was for him to lose track of final form Frieza in the opening of their battle.

It was literally the first time in the series he lost track of anything he knew was there, and it was his singular target no less. No wonder that fight broke him, he failed at arguably his most notable non-strength advantage at a time when he thought his battle instincts were at their peak.

Also, love your analyses btw, your takes on the series you talk about are really thoughtful, and make me think about the characters in really deep new ways!

Aww, thank you!

An interesting note is that Vegeta still has a fantastic perception moment even in that fight.

Frieza's first Death Beam takes Vegeta by surprise as much as it does everyone else.

As I've said before, Frieza's Death Beam is basically a sniper rifle in ki form. It's an intensely accurate ki bullet designed to nail a target through obstacles in the way, fired at such a speed that the intended recipient is dead before anyone even realizes he fired.

He killed Cargo with it previously, and the same fate ultimately catches up to Dende five days later. When it does, it goes off without a hitch. Frieza kills Dende before Krillin, Gohan, Vegeta, and Piccolo can even react to the shot being fired.

It's such a cool attack.

But now that Vegeta realizes that this is a thing Frieza can do, he's ready for it the next time Frieza tries to snipe someone. This is honestly a brilliant bit of choreography that really shows off how perceptive Vegeta is. Gohan, Krillin, and Piccolo all rush Frieza at once.

They keep up the pressure until Frieza suddenly vanishes, at which point only Vegeta - watching from a high vantage - is able to track where he went.

At this point, Vegeta's able to intercept Frieza's Death Beam.

This is a great moment of 4-D martial chess.

Frieza has this highly accurate long-range sniping move, right? So he vanishes, using his speed to obscure where the next attack is going to come from. His target is Gohan but he doesn't attack Gohan.

Instead, he appears behind Piccolo. It's a feint. Even if they're able to follow his sudden vanish, his positioning obscures his true target. When he points at Piccolo and fires, the natural assumption would be that he's trying to shoot Piccolo.

But actually, he's using his sniping attack to skirt past Piccolo and hit Gohan behind him.

But Vegeta actually manages to keep up this time. Vegeta identifies Gohan as Frieza's real target and is able to kick him out of the way at the last second.

In the process, repaying the favor from Recoome.

Why didn't you attack Frieza, Vegeta? Doesn't sentimentality make you retch, Vegeta?

He'd never admit it but his behavior patterns are already starting to change from exposure to teamwork. But I digress.

In any case, this is a fantastic moment of choreographic mind-games, and Vegeta's success here is what fills him with all the piss and vinegar he brings to his fight.

Because he actually did it. He beat the Death Beam. He is sharp enough, fast enough, cunning enough to keep up and outplay Frieza. Vegeta is in this fight for real.

...which only sets him up for immediate disappointment.

Nope. Never mind. Still just a scrub. And as proud as Vegeta was of beating the Death Beam, he won't be proud for long.

Vegeta was never a match for Frieza.

He just had a real good moment. Sometimes that happens in a fight. Sometimes you get an incredible shot in on the opponent's kidney while he's beating the shit out of you. Doesn't mean you're gonna win the fight.

[nectardaddy]

SERENDIPITY . . . kita shinsuke + f! reader

⤷ take me as I come

˖° take me as I come // or don't take me at all // I'm gonna let you down // I'm gonna lead you lost // darling, I mean well // I won't leave 'til I'm gone // I'm the maker of hell // burn every bridge I've known

             take me as I come , evan honer 

notes/CWs: set before 88 ford started, parental death mention, fighting/violence, brief undertones of organized crime, blood, disassociation, panic/anxiety attack, flawed (real) characters, language, misplaced anger, imposter syndrome, feelings of never being good enough, hurt/comfort as always, lore drop for yn <3

⤷ merry late christmas to @standcom and @wyrcan <333 I hope you enjoy it because this really pushed my writing limits and I think it came out way better than expected 

“What were you thinking?”

The same, old conversation that was drowned out behind the blood that still roared in her ears. Hot, boiling, and coursing through her veins as she kept her eyes to the ground; tracing over the cracked titles of the kitchen. 

“You weren't thinking. . .” 

Bits and pieces of the lecture came through here and there, and her jaw tightened at the accusation that was said out of anger. Her father was rough around the edges, callous, but kind when it came to her - his daughter. Always willing to take up arms and defend her if she was in the right, but this time she wasn't. 

“You coulda’ killed them!” A loud exclamation followed by a sigh and a screech of a chair. Her father had sat down roughly and leaned back, dragging his hands over his face before correcting his tone. “You coulda’ fucking killed them. . .”

“I wish I did.” 

The room fell silent at her remark. Her eyes never left the green tile of the floor, tracing over the cracks and dents with bruised, bloodshot eyes. Even still, she could feel her father's gaze harden on her. When she was little, she straightened up with that look; the repercussions of being grabbed by the ear from her late mother and lectured by her father was a big enough deterrent. Only this time it wasn't. 

The kitchen tap dripped, and the small splash echoed in her ears alongside the blood. Muddled together in a duo of chaos, and she closed her eyes. “I would've if Kita didn't pull me back.” 

“Well, thank fuckin’ god for Kita.” 

“I heard the woman died because the boss is into some shady shit. He's fucking stupid, getting his wife caught up in it-”

Her breath hitched in her throat at the words, and she felt her blood run cold. An accusation she heard here and there, that simply wasn't true. Her father did relatively clean work, though he did dabble; under the table work that he kept close to his chest - never, under any circumstances, did he put his family in harm's way. Her mother passed from a health complication; although, it didn't frankly matter, as people would believe anything other than the truth. 

“What the hell did you just say?” Her voice was firm, standoffish, and cold when she uttered a warning. She turned in a sharp snap, and bit her cheek hard when she realized it was a worker. A farm hand, her father’s help that she regularly had quarrels with. 

“He got his wife killed-” the person turned and she watched their eyes widen in horror. A sense of grief and terror engulfed them as she stood with her jaw tight and hands balled into fists. A sight to be held was the woman and her anger - scorned and violent. “Shit. . . I didn't-” 

But she didn't allow them to finish, not a syllable more, as the harsh crack of a fist hitting skin was the only thing that followed the abrupt pause. Quick to anger, slow to cool, a tornado of a woman barreling through an open plain as she stepped back with a huff. She watched them teeter back, held their nose with a loud groan as blood started to drip down their hands and onto the grass. “What the hell is wrong with you?” A pointed, rhetorical question from the person accused, “you're fucking crazy! Your whole family is batshit, I see where you get it from!” 

That's when she lost herself entirely.

Red and orange were always her favorite colors. It matched the sunset every evening, it mirrored the leaves that would fall down in her favorite season, it reminded her of oranges and apples that she would get at the farmers market. They were warm colors, happy colors.

But now, red was tainted.

Red was metallic and caused a stench that made her soul stop in its tracks. Red was what she saw when she lost herself in anger; red was too hot to touch but too cold to let out in solitude. Red was what dripped from her knuckles, her mouth, every gash and cut she received after she threw the first punch. 

Her chest heaved for air, sputtering and coughing, but unrelenting as she landed blow after blow - after blow. Her vision was blurry; sweat, tears, and blood pooled in her eyes that made it all the more difficult to see what she was doing - to witness the damage she was inflicting.

“I'll fuckin’ kill you!” Was the only sentence she managed to string together in her rage. Every other word was gibberish, curses, or insults laced with venom. A sharp tongue that knew no bounds, had little to no restrictions, but didn't know death threats until now. Didn't know the weight of such words until it passed her lips, but she only used the weight to her advantage, and kept going. 

The woman hadn't felt the forceful hands on her, too lost in incoherent rage to even feel cold fingers on scorched skin. She didn't fight the hands on her, as she didn't realize they were there until she was yanked backwards. Only then did she notice the ice cold fingers, squeezing her arms within a vice like grip as she was dragged back. “Get the hell off me!” 

She lunged forward and broke away, clawing at straws to attack the one person within her sights - a rabid animal that had a taste for blood and couldn't get enough. But once again, she was forced back; jerked with a force that normally would've taken her breath away, but now she didn't even have it to begin with. She fought against whomever held her; kicked, scratched, and clawed at the person who's only words were “please.” She turned within the grip, fist balled tight to deter anyone with the iron will to keep holding her, and reared back. 

Though, she didn't swing. 

Her fist didn't connect with a jaw per usual, it didn't connect with anything. The sharp snap of a punch wasn't heard, because she froze when she saw familiar brown eyes wide in concern. She watched as eyes flickered over her face in worry rather than horror, compassion rather than fear. And lowered her hand when she watched his eyes meet with it then return back to her. 

A fraction of a second, a brief silence and breath of air, before she fought against his hold again. The red in her eyes never faded, but would never be directed at him. “Let go of me, Kita! Get the hell off me!” 

“Y'know I can't do that, ma'am.” His voice was gentle and kind, despite the situation he found himself in and screams from her in comparison. 

“Like hell you can't! Let go! They talked about my mom, get the fuck off me, I swear to god-” 

“And now they know not to, you showed them what happens when they do. So, please-” 

“It's not enough!” 

“You'll hurt yourself if you do anymore!” His voice had a snap to it that she couldn't ignore, and she felt him pull her back again. Only this time, she fought a little less, made it a bit easier for him to do so. “You're already bleeding, ma'am, so please, just walk with me.”

So she did.

In silence, begrudgingly, as she kept turning her head to look back at the scene she walked away from. She felt him pull at her arm again, far more gently than the latter. “We need to get you cleaned up.” She took a sharp breath and nodded at his words. 

The woman sat silent, unmoving, as she watched the man through blurry eyes. Rummaging around in the medicine cabinet for something, anything, to aid her. But she only sighed. Sighed when he told her to take a seat earlier, sighed when he handed her whatever frozen food he found in the freezer for her black eye, and sighed when he finally found what he was looking for.

For once, the man didn't give her a small smile. Didn't tell her everything was alright, didn't remind her that workers are fickle and usually standoffish. Instead he was silent. Unspoken words remained in his mind, rather than his tongue. She sighed once more at the thought and frowned.

“You're upset with me,” spoken in a whisper, as the eye that wasn't covered with a frozen food flickered over to him.

“No, ma'am, I'm not.” A pause settled between them as she watched him look her over and frown. He placed a bottle of peroxide beside him, along with a roll of paper towels, before he sat down in front of her - the chair screeched against the kitchen floor. “They shouldn't have been talking about your family.”

“You're saying they deserve to be on the brink of death?” Pointed and distanced, she knew better than to think he would agree but asked in frustration. The heat of the emotion soothed her well more than any other; at least anger felt like a warm hug rather than a frigid slap.

He locked eyes with her for only a moment, desperately tried to decipher the swirling and dipping within them, but turned his gaze when he couldn't. Instead, he let out a breath as he took the bottle of peroxide and tipped it into a paper towel. “I'm saying they shouldn't talk about your family.”

The woman only hummed at the notion, but the grotesque feeling of shame crept up to her. He was disappointed, though he wouldn't say it, and it made her stomach tie in knots at the mere thought. Kita was compassionate, endearing, but cold and calculated when it came to his beliefs. What was right, in his eyes, would always outweigh all else.

She felt him rub that coarse paper towel over her arm, and hissed as the liquid on it seeped into wounds. He continued on in silence; however, only pausing to give her a moment's peace from pain every now and then. But the surge of true agony came when he moved to her knuckles, busted and bloodied - broken.

The yelp she let out, followed by a string of swears, made him pull away and look at her in worry. It was as if he put the disappointment on the back burner without a second thought, removed it from the forefront of his mind as soon as he believed he had truly hurt her. “I think your knuckles are broken,” a wary sentence, but not spoken from fear.

“No shit, Kita,” she groaned as she placed the, now thawed, food down on the table from her eye. The frustration never, really, left her from earlier, only festered and bubbled until it came to a head once more. She pulled her hand away from him and looked down, finally taking in the blood and bruises that littered her. Her dominant hand was swollen, knuckles busted and caked in blood - some hers, some not - and her eyes flickered over to the other hand.

The non-dominant seemed far worse, as the man in front of her hadn't moved to it, hadn't cleaned it. She found it hard to take in the sight, battered and bloodied never seemed to be exactly what she wished for, and moved her gaze to him. “God-” muttered under her breath as she tried to make a fist, but stopped upon realizing she couldn't. “They're definitely broken.”

“You'll have to get it checked out,” to which she only sighed and agreed. “Can I have your other arm, then? I don't want to hurt you.” She nodded.

She never realized how cold the man ran until his fingers were touching her palm, almost holding it as he repeated the same process from before on her other arm. She knew it meant nothing, only for ease to clean her wounds, but her cheeks felt hot regardless. His fingers were calloused from work, but his touch was gentle, as if he'd break her at any moment from being too rough. It was a care she hadn't felt from another in a long time.

“You should let your boyfriend know you broke your knuckles.” There was a twinge of discontent in his tone, his voice falling down as he spoke of another in her life, a tone she failed to notice. A timbre that always went over her head, as Kita Shinsuke, in her mind, would never go for a woman like her - harsh and callous. Wild and standoffish. Everything he believed against.

“Why?”

“Might worry him,” he shrugged. “I'd be worried if my partner broke their knuckles.”

“I don't think he'd be too worried,” she began and his eyes flickered to meet hers, brows scrunched in confusion. “I broke up with him.” She heard him hum in response. In reality, the man was over the moon about the news, but would never let it show. All too often did he notice the woman’s past partners, and each and every one didn’t tick the boxes that were required of them by her. Whether it be demanding, brash, or an out right lack of character, he always heard about them, and he always kept silent. “‘Said I was too intense and should calm down, so I told him to fuck off. ‘Said I was crazy too,” she sighed and dropped her eyes to her hand. “Maybe he's right.”

He shook his head and pulled away from her arm, nearly cleaned off so he decided to give her a break from the stinging liquid. “He's not.”

“You're just saying that so you don't end up like the other person just now.”

“Regardless of what happened, I don't think you're crazy.” A wave of deja vu hit him then; having had the conversation before with her a number of times, and every time it made his heart sink further. He hoped one day she would find someone to make her happy, to treat her well; whether or not that was him, he didn't mind. As long as the woman in front of him found the joy she so greatly deserved, he believed he could die content. “I think he's an asshole for saying something so wrong. You deserve someone who treats you with respect, like an equal.”

Her lips pulled into a small smile at the notion, hearing his voice change slightly in frustration. A barely there emotion for him, but one the woman poked and prodded at whenever it arose. “I didn't know you knew how to swear,” she mused, and kept the same smile. There was a long silence that filled the room, and she closed her eyes to enjoy it for once as her smile slowly dropped. Anger was the only emotion she truly felt at peace with, the sticky, hot emotion felt nice even if it burned her right down to the embers. Flames felt better than the frost bite of the cold.

The man remained silent as he returned to cleaning her wounds, focusing now on her non-dominant hand that wasn’t fractured. Beneath blood and dirt, he found hands he never took the time to look at. Calloused, from what he imagined to be a life’s work of farm chores, and scarred from other altercations. Knuckles littered with small scrapes and bumps from a life filled with vengeance, proving herself to be as strong as she spoke, and an anger that fueled every wrongdoing she ever made.

Once he was done, he pulled away once more. He held a small frown as his eyes looked over her face. Blood spattered and bruised, and a black ring started to form under her left eye. Her eyes were closed; however, and she seemed rather peaceful despite the juxtaposition of her attire. But he had grown accustomed to seeing her pull her mind away from whatever was going on, removing herself from a situation all while being there physically. An unhealthy, testy habit he learned she picked up years ago. Fight or flight always moved from decimate to flee.

“May I clean your cheek?” He asked quietly, and she nodded at his question that broke the silence. She felt her breath hitch in her throat; however, when he scooted closer to her. Knees just barely touched as she heard his chair screech against the kitchen floor. The man radiated warmth, the fleeting touch on her knee sent a shockwave through her soul, and she hated it. She reopened her eyes to look at him, to tell him to move back, but was rendered speechless when she did. Kita looked at her like she was the only woman in the world that mattered, and it made her want to heave.

His eyes were focused as he pressed the peroxide soaked paper towel on her cheek, unwavering and respectful as he looked over her features. “They got you pretty good.” Spoken through a barely there smile, and her breath failed her. He was close enough she could smell the earthiness of his clothes, sweat and dirt muddled with the soap from his laundry detergent. And for the first time in her life she felt flustered.

“Yeah,” she whispered, and turned her eyes away from his own. “But you saw how they looked.” He only hummed in response and her eyes moved down his physique, finally taking them in. The man had strong, toned arms hidden underneath long sleeves, but was rather small in comparison to how much he was capable of - brute force she often coined as ‘cowboy strength.’ As her eyes wandered further, she noticed the dirt and mud on his pants, and specks of blood that seeped through denim; she came to the conclusion the blood was her own, as the only scratches on the man were on his hands. “I'm sorry.”

He seemed taken back by the words at first, unfamiliar with the phrase to come from the woman. But quickly brushed it off as if it were nothing. “For what? You didn't do nothin’ to me.”

“Fightin’ you so hard,” she mumbled before wincing as he touched the peroxide to another cut on her cheek.

He mumbled a gentle, “sorry,” before she continued on.

“You were just trying to help.” Slowly but surely, she began to resent her own actions because of how much the man inserted himself in them. Oftentimes, coming far too close for comfort at the end of her hellish anger. But even still, he remained. Not once did Kita ever stray away, despite how gruesome or ugly things became. It made her stomach tie in knots, and the blood in her veins run scalding hot - she believed down to her every fiber that she should hate him for it. But she couldn’t.

“Don't worry-”

“Can it,” she cut him off with a harsh breath. “Don't sit here and tell me not to worry about it, when I know you’re probably all black and blue.”

“It's fine, I-”

“But it's not fine,” she huffed. “You put up this front of being so compassionate, sweet, and kind. But I know, deep down, you think I'm the biggest idiot alive; flying off the handle again just because someone had some choice words.” Her voice had gotten louder with every phrase, and she didn’t notice he had pulled away. The woman had a knack for biting and snapping at those who aided her, she always believed they didn’t mean such words. She would always bite the hand that fed her, and she didn’t care if she starved as a result.

“Why would I think that?”

He phrased the question gently, thoughtfully, as he knew one wrong move meant the dial got turned to max. But the fire already roared in her eyes, so he sat there and bore the blaze regardless. “Because everyone thinks that!” Her voice was loud in comparison to the quiet kitchen, but pained when every syllable came out forced. There was a moment's pause and he watched her let out a loud sigh before she continued on. “Everyone thinks that, Kita,” she repeated, softer as he saw her shoulders drop. “I'm the crazy woman with an already lit fuse just waiting to blow up.”

Her eyes returned to the man in that moment, and watched as his eyes flickered over her face. Slow and methodical, calculated but not cold. As if he were trying to figure out how she ticked, to see the gears turning in her mind. “I wish you'd give yourself more credit, ma'am.”

“What?” Was all that managed to slip past her lips, brows scrunched and mind unsure.

“Give yourself more credit,” he reassured. “So you're angry? Anger doesn't make you crazy, it makes you human. People just don't realize they got something good until it's gone.”

“I'm not a good person, Kita. I-”

“Sure you are.” She didn't think the man was one to cut her off, or frankly had the gumption to do so, but she promptly closed her mouth when he did. There was something about the man she found captivating - enthralling. She found it endearing to be in his presence, feeling almost normal as he spoke to her like anyone else, like an equal. His kindness never went unnoticed, despite how it filled her with a heat she found foreign and misjudged for anger. “If you weren't a good person, you wouldn't do the things you do.”

The man continued on per usual, back to treating her cuts and scrapes as if it were something to brush off. He tipped the peroxide once more into a paper towel, and leaned in, and once more she found herself flushed over the proximity. “Like what exactly?”

“You're one of the most hardworking people I know,” he began with a small smile. “You're steadfast in your beliefs, you're loyal, and you care a lot more than you let on.” His touch was gentle, even as he scrubbed and wiped at the dried blood on her face. A care that was meticulous, a care that made her stomach churn. “You don't let your dad work in the fields anymore since he's gotten older, you treat every worker you're on good terms with like an old friend, and I don't think I've ever seen you let someone leave here hungry - friend or foe alike.”

A sharp tongue and vile words had no sanction here, no foothold as she swallowed hard. Her vision became fogged as eyes welled with tears, an action that was foreign - an action that felt wrong. She bit her tongue hard at the feeling, and swallowed once more, briskly fighting off the lump in her throat and the sorrowful emotion in one fell swoop. The woman was sorely mistaken that she had succeeded, and felt the sickly drip of a tear run down her face.

She had expected him to acknowledge it, to coddle her, like many did when she was young. To give pity even though it felt like a steak knife through the gut, and to wallow in the emotion with her. Because what was worse than a poor woman crying? But he didn't. Instead, she felt him wipe it away. Simply and softly, even going as far to disguise his action through wiping at the blood just under her eye.

“You're a good person.” He assured, “even good people get angry and do things they shouldn't.”

It was as if she felt the world stop spinning. Forever locked in a perpetual cycle of wanting to vomit and wanting to engulf the man in a hug. But she did neither, as all she could do was stare. To lock eyes with him and hope he would never pull away, to keep the moment until the end of her days. “Shinsuke?”

The call of his given name made his stomach lurch to his throat, and he felt his cheeks get hot at the notion alone. He faltered in his actions, only for a second, before he continued on. “Yes, ma'am?”

“You're not scared of me at all, are you?”

“No.” He assured, and he gave her a small smile. A smile that said it was alright, a smile that held the compassion she needed. “Not at all.”

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@rory-cakes @phoenix-eclipses @pattys-got-cakes @girlkissersco

@jaynawayna @aliensstolemyheart @le000xxgrd @cherrypieyourface @theycallmenanamisgirl

@softpia @bokutoko @guitarstringed-scars @totallytatum @bakery-anon

@hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @eggyrocks @angelichwv

@wakashudou @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @localgaytrainwreck

[cheeseatlantic]

how do you think characters from cod would react to you asking to talk about folklore to them? (Including graves and Alejandro please)

yesyes ofc queen ❤️ xx

ghost

he liked robin hood growing up, so he told you the tale. when you piss him off he tells you about banshees and scares you shitless.

soap

once you ask, he will never stop, he got way too excited. he took scotland forever seriously, he went on for THREE HOURS, until you fell asleep. he didn’t notice and then kept going… until he fell asleep too!! you got the loch ness monster, unicorn and his personal favourite? selkies.

gaz

unfortunately, he creeps you the fuck out with the bogeyman… piss him off? bogeyman. kiss him? bogeyman. ON THE TOILET? BOGEYMAN. the only other folklore he knows is taylor swift’s folklore…

price

well… this peepaw knows everything from the arthurian legends to the black shuck. he was as happy as a dad reading his child a bedtime story, except it was folklore!

graves

graves was basically all for scaring you shitless with myths; just so he could comfort you. #toxicchivalry… but he also did tell you some cool shit about texan folklore, you listened to him for hours. maybe stared at his pretty eyes and wasn’t listening but still!

alejandro

like soap, he was so proud to tell you about everything. wrapped his arms around you, got you all snug before he started with la llorona, el chupacabra and a whole bunch of others!!

rudy

same as alejandro but was more gentle with it in the sense that he’d tell you something what he thought to be scary and then followed up with a “remember, mi amor! it’s fake, don’t be scared.”

könig (unfortunately because he’s austrian and we want the diversity)

könig was sort of happy to tell you and to share his culture with you!! it was sweet, really. he made you some traditional food, and then got you bundled up and comfortable before he started and didn’t stop until you fell into a nice, peaceful sleep.

horangi

horangi didn’t mind telling you, he was patient when it came to answering your questions about korean folklore and told you his favourite tales, even got his mom to tell you some extras which you loved (his mom sent over a huge thing of kimchi afterwards because she thought you started to embrace korean culture)

makarov

makarov, literally sat down with you, wicked grin as he started, scared you and then soothed you, so he’d be like. “Oh yeah, that creature will eat your teeth.” “But don’t worry, i’ll shoot them like I did with Soap if it tries anything, malysh.”

tysm for being my first req!! ilysm babybell MWAHHHH 💗 (pls try to eat/drink something for me or your favourite characters!! xx)

[ravinoforre]

So I saw an opinion on a character that I, respectfully, don't agree with at all, and it isn't the first time I've come across this particular take either. I don't like nor want fandom discourse, making counter points to arguments in general make me nervous, but as someone particularly attached to them and their related characters, I have a lot of thoughts I want to get out there in the hopes that maybe they can be seen from a more positive perspective. So um, here they are. Get comfortable, this is gonna be a long one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Defense of Lily (Pokémon XD).

Those of you who've played this might already know what I'm referring to, so I'm just going to rip off the proverbial band-aid. Right at the start of the game, as you, the player, are being introduced to her, one of the first things she says is;

...and ok yeah, I admit. This is kind of a weird thing for her to say (in front of her son too, oops). This is usually one of two instances that people latch onto to prove she's an awful mother, but there is, at least in my opinion, some hidden context to her words. First of all, she's not wrong; the whole lab does in fact constantly sing their praises and fawn over both these kids (which is adorable tbh). Secondly, it's not unreasonable for her to believe that lots of inflated praise on a child, no matter how well meaning, may have negative consequences on their development. A kid receiving a constant stream of "you're so cool/special/talented" may end up with an inflated ego and become depressed, or even lash out in anger, if that praise either stops or something comes along to disprove it (like failing a test or making a mistake).

(Side note, I came across some partially related studies (x), (x) and an article from a parental psychologist (x) that go into different types of praise given to children; person, or ability praise ("you're so clever") vs process, or effort praise ("you worked really hard"), their effect on self esteem, personal growth, and performance, and how ability praise actually negatively effects a child's sense of worth compared to effort praise or even no praise at all. It's a lot to go through right now and this post is already going to be super long, but I mention them here because I'll go into something later that you may find rather interesting. I know I do. They're fascinating reads, too, I would recommend!)

Now listen up! Lily, contrary to the belief that she's a cold-hearted mother who shuns her offspring, actually does praise and engage with her children! Throughout the story, she'll talk to Michael and say some interesting and wonderful things as his adventure continues! The problem is that unfortunately, a lot of this proof is hidden throughout each story beat in a section of the lab that is no longer required to enter to progress (and most people won't bother to go back and speak to their own mother who apparently "hates" them). Off to find Jovi:

🥹 baby... Before saving Phenac City:

🥺😭euuhhbbebeh father mentioned During the Phenac City hostage situation:

After the Phenac stuff:

"I'm proud of you." You literally cannot get a more explicit form of praise than I'm proud of you. Hell, I can't even recall a time my own mother told me that. Fucking hell. Also. Pampered?! You hear that? She's practically contradicting those accursed two lines! By her own admission, the kids are pampered babies! Her concern isn't that people will spoil them—because they're already spoiled!

(Jovi is a pampered baby princess). I think Lily's worry in her comment is that may roll too far; it's like she says—spoiled rotten.

Ok one more example for this section:

(disclaimer: these screenshots are from the romhack XG which is why her name isn't in all caps; trust me, this same line is in base XD too) Remember the types of praise I mentioned earlier? Ability (person) praise and effort (process) praise? And how the former could be damaging to a child's self esteem? Do you notice anything particular about the way she speaks to Michael and praises him? "You've become an outstanding trainer in your own right." Not "You're so strong." "You're doing so much for the good of others." "Your courage will save the Shadow Pokémon." Not "You're so brave." "You did it all by yourself without anyone's help." She's praising his actionable efforts! She's applying process praise! (Pleeease read those studies and article, at least the first study I linked, it's genuinely insightful and fascinating, and it's even more amazing that an example of it is featured in a video game by a character most people won't interact with beyond necessity! I love this game! So! Fuckinhg!! Much!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Ahem. She's also not saying that people shouldn't praise her kids either; only that she wishes it wasn't gushing praise all the time. Too much of a good thing could be harmful, after all. Let's see...

Sounds reasonable so far, right?

...Galactic peace?! My brother in Arceus, all he did was beat you in a friendly Pokémon battle—a battle that Michael's already been led to believe he'd win anyway thanks to that previous comment from his coach (those screen caps are in chronological order)! Even without the fact that by this point he's midway through a dangerous fight against a criminal organization, it's probably not a good idea to give a developing young teen a literal God complex; what if he gets so full of himself he genuinely believes he's unbeatable... and then loses? That child's mental state is going to plummet. So even if you don't agree with Lily's praise comments, you might at least better understand where her concerns are coming from if this is potentially the kind of thing that's being told to her kids regularly.

Moving on, try putting yourself in her shoes a moment. She's a working, grieving, single mother of two who, according to an NPC in the lab "has an exceptionally high sense of responsibility".

As a scientist with the necessary expertise, she has the heavy task of helping realise a sensitive project—sensitive not just in terms of urgency (as Krane predicts Cipher is going to be a threat again), but also in terms of emotional weight; this project was something her late [husband] poured everything into until his death, so both her and Krane continued on with it; by the time the game starts, they're agonisingly close to completion. And time is of the essence. Quick tangent: watch the cut scene post Krane kidnap again. The camera rests on Lily an awfully long time. The father of her children died before this project was finished, and now Krane, a close friend of both of theirs, has been taken away by force. Both her children have witnessed something traumatic. Her daughter is sobbing. She's literally being told the situation is "hopeless" by a colleague. Imagine the sheer anguish this woman must be going through before having to push through all of it and take complete charge for the sake of finishing the project. For the morale of the entire lab staff. For the sake of keeping her kids calm. For the fate of the region itself. Anyway, because of this project, and how close they are to finishing, she isn't able to afford much, if any, time off to spend with her kids "this instant". It's probably why the lab staff have pitched in to help look after them (which must make her feel pretty damn guilty with that high sense of responsibility of hers). It's why she asks her son to go find his little sister in her stead.

And this brings me to point number two that I've seen used countless times to slander her:

She just lets Jovi run off on her own, and doesn't care what her kids are up to.

Which... no, sorry, hang on here. Lily isn't letting Jovi run off on her own. For starters, both her and Krane believe she's in or somewhere outside the lab grounds, playing hide and seek with the caretaker, Adon.

A game of hide and seek (particularly if they're taking turns hiding) is likely why nobody's seen her since lunch, by the way, and not Lily not giving a damn about the whereabouts of her child. And when she's found and brought home again, Lily says this;

This implies she's spoken to her daughter about running off on her own before, and we do later get to know that Jovi has a habit of running off ahead; she runs off down the steps in Gateon ahead of her brother, she rushes off to deliver the machine part by herself to the chamber, and even though Michael is the one asked, she runs off to go see Datan—despite Lily telling her she doesn't need to do that. This means if Jovi gets invested in something, it's apparently hard to stop her. Visiting Kaminko's is a recent fixation of hers, and if Adon is already aware of where else she might have gone off to if she's nowhere on lab grounds, it might mean she's been there before (that, or Adon was the one who caved and told Jovi where to find the place). I might even speculate and say Lily has specifically told Jovi before about not running off to the manor. Anyway, check out what she says when you find the little runaway but come back empty handed.

The heart-sinking realisation and disappointment in that "...Oh" alone....

So no, Lily isn't letting her young child run off on her own—Jovi is disobeying her mother. She's either used the game of hide and seek as an excuse to dip (and then forgot about Adon entirely), or she got bored midway through and decided to head to her new place of interest despite any of her mother's previous objections. (And before anyone says anything, no, that doesn't mean Jovi is a bad kid, either. She's, what, around 7 yrs old? She is doing typical little kid things, emulating her older brother, and discovering and pushing her boundaries as she grows up. I have seen some putrid, abysmal hate for her over the years too. She is a child, leave her alone.) Onto the second half of the above statement; she doesn't care what her kids are doing. As in, Michael is on a treacherous journey against a dangerous group of people and she's totally ok with letting her kid do that (as if that isn't the case with practically every mainline entry protag mother but alright, I'll bite).

Introducing one of my favourite exchanges with her in the game. During this time, the purify chamber still isn't complete, and they'll need to use an alternate way of purifying Shadow Pokémon until then—the Relic Stone in Agate Village.

oh it worries her, does it? You know what happens when No is selected?

And then she drops the conversation. There's no endless loop to get him to go, which would have been the more convenient thing for the devs to implement. But this was a very deliberate choice that tells me more about a character than I've seen done in a video game before. She's respecting her son's decision to stay home. She is not forcing him to do something he isn't comfortable with. Of course, as a video game, the purpose is to progress to the next story beat. So he has to go. Better talk to her again.

I don't even think I need to add any extra commentary, this should really speak for itself at this point.

I've also reached the image limit on this post so it's probably time I wrapped this up, so in conclusion; is Lily a bad mother, as I've seen people claim? No, and I believe I've showcased plenty to prove she isn't. She's not perfect, no parent is, but she's a damn sight more involved in her children's lives than the mainline moms, who are often nothing more than out of the way Pokémon Centers that don't acknowledge their child's journey in any meaningful way. So then, was she in the right for saying what she did at the start of the game, right after Krane praises her son, who is in earshot of this conversation? Well... also no. She could have picked a better time and place to bring it up, honestly. But God forbid a woman make a mistake or voice a concern, lest her be mischaracterized and demonized forever by two unfortunately worded lines of dialogue.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Michael, you're finally going off to the ultimate battle, aren't you? You've really grown in stature. As your mother, it makes me feel conflicted. I'm happy and proud on one hand, but I'm also a little sad. Go and get rid of Cipher, and make it quick! And come home safely."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If you've managed to reach the end of my ramblings, I'd like to say thank you. Hopefully I've given you some food for thought. Maybe I've even changed your mind about her. And even if I haven't, I appreciate you taking the time to read this regardless.

[a-holiday-ever]

It occurs to me that Krampus Puzzles ref is still on my main and I didn't move it over here. Time to fix that

Character Reference:

Mr.Galaxy/ Mr.Stageplay/ Krampus

BACK COIL IDEA FOR HIS TAIL CAME FROM

@change-name-later and their cool headcannon for how Mr.Puzzles tail would look!!! Thanks for the inspiration!!!

And his minion: Krampus.TM

Literally a walking Teddy Bear

He only sends people who he sees as irredeemable to hell..... (False: he is also super fucking Petty and will send people he doesn't like to hell)

His TV shows and Movies SUUUUUCK

Goes by many names, but ironically does not have a name he could use in a Social Interaction amongst adults. Hes never had to have one for that

He gives people multiple chances to redeem themselves before torturing them to death unless you're a pedophile/dictator/psychopath/genuinely horrible person

He typically never sends Children to hell, and opts to adopt them and raise them as his own until they eventually forget him and move out

He DOES NOT have Cannon!Mr.Puzzles powers

Being a Negative Deity, all these good deeds do absolutely nothing for the man's powers. They just make him happy

That being said, even though he is not as strong as he COULD be ...... He is still one of the most dangerous deities to live

Didnt always have a TV head and doesn't talk about it

Hates the colour Blue (on his own body and on christmas items)

The biggest dork loser you will ever lay eyes on, he is just a little guy

He does have a short temper... But its STILL unlikely that anyone would meet the short end of that stick

If hes being attacked he won't defend himself unless he sees the attacker as irredeemable

#1 Hal Monitor Hater after he finds out what that man is doing (he doesn't start off Knowing in the story. That comic was a peak into the future)

Doesn't like being scary or dangerous so covers his body up.

He is The Poly KING!!! He will date just about anybody regardless of gender or species! He would be one happy man to have 50+ husbands, wives and they/them partners (obviously excludes children)

Unfortunately while he Flirts a BIG GAME.... He won't take a relationship seriously until his partner makes it REALLY OBVIOUS that they are interested. He flirts but he doesn't realize when someone is actually interested in him. You could hand him a wedding ring after years of seeing him and he will not understand what is going on until you make it clearer to him. Then he will break down sobbing and say yes ❤️

Krampus.TM has 2 braincells

Listen to its father

Get hugs from its father

Will not listen to anybody that isnt Krampus but unfortunately does not have the brain power to identify Krampus differently from a stranger opening their arms to the lil guy

Can do Mitosis

[supgnomie]

While reading Wind and Truth I kept a list of reactions in my notes app gonna copy/paste them all below:

Day One:

28 - the wind talking to Kaladin is not making me feel better about the fact that the storm father lied

49 - idk man the thought of Kaladin learning to play music for “this last part” is already making me want to cry

50 - Wit definitely just said FUCK bootstrap ideology and I’m here for it

50 - “a virtue is something that is valuable even if it gives you nothing. A virtue persists without payment or compensation.”

52 - hey I’m actually crying a bit

68 - who is the author of the excerpts? Kal?? Or is Kal one of the witnesses??

- ok maybe Syl is the author

85 - DAMN SHALLAN THATS SICK

100 - HORSE GIRL ADOLIN HORSE GIRL ADOLIN

I never thought it was possible for Shallan to be even more of an unreliable narrator but HERE WE ARE

I’m sure there will be no horrifying consequences for Shallan-I-Make-My-Own-Reality-Kholin

Horse radiants! Horse radiants! Horse radiants!!!

110 - shardplate Shallan!!!!

Adolin’s hug is longer 😏😏😏😏

Day Two

- oh what? Jasnah and Wit aren’t working out? Who could have predicted this. (Me. Their chemistry is non existent.)

- Jasnah is so right. It is not fair that Dalinar literally is a mass murderer and it’s fine and she can’t do anything right.

- Honestly Adolin getting to experience a shower made me so happy because he must be SO. HAPPY and I love that for him.

- “He does it just to annoy me.” - Gaz suddenly highly relatable for pettiness

- Oh yeah no I do not trust the stormfather no more.

- Non-binary rep let’s goooooooo!!

- Lift checking out all the windrunners is taking me out

- GAY GAY GAY

- Really gotta admire navani’s faith given *gestures vaguely*

- SHIT FUCK MRAIZE

- “Right up until he looked up and found the Herald Ishar standing in front of him.” OH. OK.

Day Three:

- Syl and Kaladin talking about figuring out what they want for themselves is going to make me cry these babies have grown so much.

- MAYA JUST CALLED ADOLIN A SLUT 💀💀💀💀💀

- Baby Szeth ☹️ I knew math was dangerous

- Yuh I do NOT like or trust Szeth’s spren.

- Adolin winning over the Azish commander has my crying my sweet sweet boy 😭❤️

- “I want to be enough” 😭😭😭

- I’m so fucking worried Adolin is going to die in this ugh ugh ugh

- “I know the why.” - as a teacher I fucking FLINCHED

Day Four

- “the dogs will die”. The stormfather feeling sad watching the refugees pour through is rough.

- “Stormfather what lies have you been telling me!” “Only the ones that you deserve.” Damn damn damn!!

- Adolin is such a gem (visiting the wounded 🥺)

- Syl and Kaladin dancing 😩❤️

- “In that - at the edge of the world and the advent of the end of all things - Kaladin Stormblessed allowed himself to be happy. For what felt like the first time since Tien’s death.”

- Ok yes duh he is learning to play the flute because it’s a wind instrument Brando you have done it again

- “Tonight, he wrote a different story for himself. If a man who loved music. If a man who had time for music.” I’ll never stop crying.

- Adolin’s ideas about oaths I kind of super love and am here for

- Oh oh? We gonna get to see what a wimp ass bitch Szeth’s spren is?

- On this realm nightblood appeared the way it imagined itself 🥹🥹🥹

- Hey I am finally liking Szeth as a character.

Day Five:

- steel inquisitor moash so cool so cool so cool

- Szeth is so good. I am already mad at how everyone is going to wrong him. And I don’t trust this voice in his head at allllll who is itttttt

- TRANS REP AZISH TRANS REP

- “Chasmfiends could sing.” Giant crab puppy good bois I adore them.

- Omg Jasnah broke up with wit via text

- NO MORE GOOBERING 😭they gotta fight for their right to goober

- OOPS RLAIN

- I don’t trust Hmask at all and if he does anything to Adolin I fucking swear

- “I do my job. You always seem to be questioning yours. I find that aspect of you embarrassing.” FUCKING ROASTED BY A SAD BALDIE KALADIN

- Omg Szeth crying over his lamb ow owie ouch

- Szeth is Tien 😭😭😭😭

- “Neither truth nor answers are easy to find. We still have to try, rather than giving up that responsibility to someone else. Maybe someone has found the truth. I certainly hope so. But let’s talk about what you genuinely want and work from there.”

- “I don’t have a whimsical bone in my body.” Yeah ok sure Adolin 😒

- Kind of in love with Szeth’s dad and king of pissed at Szeth’s mom. Like… cannot fathom abandoning my child.

-

Day six:

- Sivi to Szeth, “how old is your dad? Obviously bee keeping age.”

- I’m getting real anxious about Gav.

Day seven:

- ADOLIN IS GETTING UP. TALN IS FIGHTING BACK. I AM SO ANXIOUS AHHHHHHH

- *attack on Titan music*

- The whiplash between Adolin nearly dying and renarin confessing to his crush.

- Adolin ☹️ hims poor leg

- Gav being noted as “an odd spren” in every vision is driving me crazy. What is it Brando?? What are you doing?? I know this is a hint of something!!

- “That was honestly kind of racist.” 💀💀💀

- ah fuck fuck fuck fuck ejdjwjdjsjdjwj

Day Eight

- these visions are not for Dalinar they are for Gav??? Maybe???

- fuck fuck fuck fuck

- SHALLAN IS THE DAUGHTER IF A HERALD DISBXJWJSKWJDJ

- Ok ok ok so Shallan on her wedding day is wearing boots that Kaladin gave her and Adolin on his wedding day is wearing a new sword that Kaladin gave him (when he ALSO got new swords from 46 other people including SHALLAN.)

- “Taravangian only saw destinations.” Fuck this book is so good.

Day Nine:

- I didn’t write many reactions because I was so fucking anxious.

- The whole fight with Nale and Kaladin I was ready to pass out.

- “Even if an emperor makes the laws, when we uphold them, the laws become ours. The responsibility ours.”

- holy shit I can’t believe Sig just did that to his spren codndjwkfjwjdj

- WAR NEVER UNITES

- Adolin smiling while thinking about Kaladin as he endures absolute hell is going to break me.

- fuxking djcnskcks d

Day ten:

- Every generation kicking the Odium problem to the next generation to deal with is hitting a lil close to home

- “We’re not sending a soldier up to hide steps we are sending a king.” Hello I’m crying already.

- Elhokar : (

- WHAT THE FUCK NOT ELHOKAR ITS GAV I FUCKING KNEW IT. I KNEW THE VISIONS WERE FOR HIM.

- Cry count: 1 - the deadeyes coming to Adolin’s aid.

- Cry count: 2 - idk the deadeyes just make me emotional

- Ishar just used that power of that pink haired girl from One Piece - Perona

- Cry count: 3 - “that was what it was to be mortal. Sometimes you succeeded anyway. Sometimes you failed.”

- “What are you? His god?” “No. I’m his therapist.” Brando stop FUCKING WITH ME FOENDJKDKEDKW

- Cry count: 4 - he said the words 😭❤️

- Cry count: broken

- HONOR IS DEAD.

- BUT ILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO

- RAHHHHHH

- The Herald of Kings and Wind and Second Chances 😭😭😭😭

- He dug through Kaladin’s pack and found a small woolen sheep and a little wooden toy horse 😭😭😭😭😭

[mynameismckenziemae]

Hey girl! I saw your post yesterday about feeling a bit uninspired, so I completely understand if you’re not up for answering this at the moment. But I’ve been really curious about something and thought I’d ask anyway—if you're up for it! If you aren't feeling it feel free to ignore it.

I’ve been wondering how Jake, Bradley, and Bob would each react if they saw another guy flirting with their partner. Or maybe there's a guy you're close to...that kind of thing. Are they the jealous type? Do they get possessive, or would they stay cool about it? I’d love to hear your take on this

Thanks for all the amazing content you share, I always love reading your takes on the characters!

Asks usually spark some inspo so I really appreciate when people send them in! Thank you!

Bob is too much of a sweetheart for you to even want to flirt with another guy to rile him up. So when you’re approached by another man at the bar, you’re oblivious to his advances. Bob just smiles as he watches the scene unfold, and can’t help but laugh at the guy’s disgruntled look when you walk back over with your free drink. Now flirting with Natasha to rile him up is a different story…

Bradley doesn’t really care if you flirt with other guys either. He knows it’s in your nature to be friendly. Unless it’s Jake. Nothing turns him into a possessive caveman like when you turn the charm onto Jake. He loves hates the way you laugh at his stupid jokes, the way he calls you “darlin’”, the way you pinch his dimpled cheek and squeeze his stupidly big biceps. Bradley carried you out of the bar over his shoulder the first time it happened and you can’t walk (or sit) properly for days.

So I think Jake actually likes when you flirt with other men especially Bradley. We all know he’s got a submissive streak a mile wide and has a thing for cuckholding; the humiliation gets him hot like nothing else. Bradley’s also the first and only man he lets fuck you.

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

friend got me the Battle Network Legacy Collection

Battle Network isn't my favorite series in the franchise, but I like it quite a lot and so it's been a lot of fun zipping through the games again and one of the biggest things i like about it are the redesigned takes on existing Robot Masters, particularly the way they get split into two components: a human avatar and a network avatar. a humansona and a netsona. a persona and a fursona, if you will.

one of my favorite things about shounen anime is that everyone has a fucking Gimmick. nobody just casually likes baseball--they also have to wear jerseys everywhere, scream all hot-blooded about the necessity of teamwork, eat dinner off of the home plate, and sleep with their bat on a pillow stuffed with balls. some people will say this is unrealistic, but those people have clearly never talked to a Pokémon fan. plus, y'know, that's what most kids and teenagers do: they find something cool and feel the need to bring it up at every opportunity, because they're growing and want approval for their burgeoning interests. meanwhile, i fucking love it when people are passionate about their interests and make it their entire personality.

so in my opinion, the best Battle Network designs are ones that lean into this and are complimentary on both the NetOp side and the NetNavi side, both of them coalescing around a singular Gimmick and leaning into it with the subtlety of a hammer. Dex and GutsMan.EXE are great because Dex is all in on "guts" as a concept, acting primarily with his heart and charging straight through, representing both an overwhelming emphasis on strength and his misplaced confidence in sheer machismo. Count Zap is basically the best fucking character in existence, both as a compliment to ElecMan.EXE and as a standalone villain, and the anime only made him even better.

there's the stinkers, of course. Speedy Dave is a complete nothingburger of a character, to the point where both the games, anime, and manga have completely different takes on him that head up in entirely separate directions, and with QuickMan.EXE having absolutely no relation to any of them. both Mayl and Roll.EXE suffer from needing to be The Girl for their dedicated character gimmick, as written by people who think that Being A Girl is enough of a personality trait to write about this year. WHEW. time to take the season off.

but there's always going to be stinkers. that's kind of the downfall with any long-running series that A: needs to consistently put out Moar Content and B: focus on character designs first and foremost and fleshing them out second. they're showcases to get you to engage with the gameplay, and then the manga/anime have to pick up the slack after the fact. it's like being handed a glass cylinder and then being told "make this useful"--there's only so much shit an anime can do with a glass cylinder, and they sure as fuck aren't going to make it a dildo.

i keep dropping the anime, i really should continue it and see it through further. it's not awful, just a very generic shounen most of the time; i keep wanting it to be unnecessarily overdramatic like the BN manga or completely fucking unhinged like Ruby Spears Megaman, and it really isn't that

[inthefoxholes]

I completely agree.

I think Solas is one of the big missed opportunities of the game. Overall, there is not much plot - we don’t learn a lot of new things about the world (the opposite is true, it gets flattened), things get less complex (no qunari infighting, no theological discussions in this game!) and less nuanced, companions are badly written - there is really only one main, very straightforward conflict AND IT IS SO BADLY DONE.

Why don’t we learn anything about Elgarnan and I forgot her name? Nothing about their motivation, how they were before, whether they had a genuine vision? They are just mad-bad-evil?

And then Solas. So much potential, like a typical BioWare character. All that banter in inquisition, that showed such a depth of character, playful, insightful, snobbish, inquisitive. And then you learn he’s the fucking DREADWOLF, and suddenly you remember Merrill, who kept cursing the deadwolf, who seemed genuinely afraid of them. And then in trespasser he tries to explain himself, badly and arrogantly, but you learn there’s so much you don’t know, about the Evanuris, the Veil, the Fade. Suddenly, he’s the leader of a popular movement, and elves are disappearing from the cities, which makes him dangerous, but also interesting in a whole other way. Thedas is a sad place at the best of times, maybe revolution is possible? No more plight of the elves, of the mages, of the spirits, of the slaves?

And then comes Veilguard. Solas suddenly works alone, and the only way to get to him - to stop him, this is the only option, there is no possibility to ask him about his plans, his motives - is to awkwardly psychoanalyze him, by watching lame infodumps his memories, and then collectively ponder his regrets. And don’t get me wrong, I actually wanted to know more about Solas, about his regrets concerning the Veil but also the war and the things he felt he had to do. We did not get that, except for the most basic cookie cutter scraps of “he used people as pawns” - did he? Did he always? Under what circumstances? What were his options?

It feels very apropos for this game (not in a good way) that the focus is on analyzing feelings (and how to live with them) instead of actions; Solas could have been so cool, god of lies and freer of slaves, a person containing multitudes, grappling with terrible decisions and the necessary sacrifices and yeah, be changed by this, but no. We get a prison of regret, and Solas perfectly able to kill Mythal in his zealotry, but then be totally reformed by brief contract with rook and see “reason”.

veilguard, i hated it.

So i finally finished veilguard, and guys, what. a. shitshow.

So apart from the fact that it feels like a half-finished game (which it probably is), I mostly hated it on two accounts: 1) the overall lore implications (we knew this from this reddit q&a, but I'm still angry, and I won't stop talking about it) BOTH in regards to previous games and this one and 2) how this was not at all a roleplaying game. (sorry, english is not my first language and I'm tired and enraged)

Let's look a little closer, shall we.

One: The Lore Implications. This pisses me off in two ways:

First, the amateurish attempt at a "clean slate". This is just so insulting. If they wanted to make a game without any of that icky baggage, then the should have chosen a new ip for this. I get that it's complicated after three games with a lot of moving parts, I get that the decision to move away from southern thedas was an attempt to curtail a lot of this, but COME ON. Walls of nonsensical (seriously, they read ai created) text from the inquisitor, that mainly tell you that everything you fought for, all the people, all the places, is gone? And not for effect, not for the story, entirely offscreen and nonsensical, just so the writers don't have to care for this anymore? This does NOT get me invested into the story. No mention of who your Divine is; no mention of who sits on the orleasian throne - and it should matter, shouldn't it, whether or not your EXILED the grey wardens, whether or not you have an elf with a SPY NETWORK close to the orleasian throne, whether or not you DISBANDED the inquisition. All of that does influence what happens on the world state, or at least it should. (And if you want to ignore it, why not do in a way that's less obvious, less bad, why not have your protagonist be someone with no ties to the inquisition, who genuinely does not know whats going on in the south? Why have a world state when you don't want anything to do with it?)

Second, and that's even worse: you cannot take a fully established world, and then alter it to your weird specifications. THE FUCK you mean, there are no slaves in Minrathous, the goddamn slave capital of the world?? Why THE HELL is there a whole questline where we try to find disappeared people, snatched from the street for the ritual, when it should be perfectly possible to buy a few batches of slaves and have them express delivered to your ritual site. (So we can show up and fuck up your slave operation.) But no - I get shamed when I don't save Minrathous?? Well, fuck you, Fenris sends his regards, I hope you all burn.

To this ties the overall simplificaton of the world: Nobody is really bad, just the few super bad guys, but they are so evil as to have no real motiviation, they are basically Thanos or otherwise racist cartoons (totally believable that the Qunari, or a sect thereof, would be on board with mad sorcery). They rest, they are good guys! The pirates are very mindful of cultural heriatages! The crows are just your friendly neighborhood assassins (I remember the stories Zevran told slightly differently), and, as assassins, they naturally wear uniforms, so you see them coming (as do the "secret" "underground" "rebels" from Tevinter). I'm not saying that everyone should be evil, but the fact that whole organisations are presented to us as benefical is so insulting, ESPECIALLY when it was always a point of pride for the Dragon Age franchise that it was morally complicated. There is slavery and poverty and darkspawn. NOPE, you can stand knee deep in blight, not a problem anymore. (if only Carver had known) There is racism against elfs. (well, as the elfs seem to be respnsible for EVERY problem thedas faces, from the veil to the darkspawn, maybe that was precient? - also, always nice to have everything tied in such a neat bow, everything tied to one ONE causality, that makes things really believable and realistic) The Templars are fascists, sure, but abominations are a problem that does not get solved easily. NOPE, not anymore! When before, even a spirit of JUSTICE got corrupted in this world (therby making the valiant and sublte point that abstract concepts rarely hold up well when coming in contact with messy reality), now you can be possessed by a demon of SPITE and HE DOES NOT DO ONE SPITEFUL THING AT ALL. Nice, if only the mages knew that, you just have to accecpt feelings or whatever and then everything's well. SO NEAT!

This brings me to point number two: Why do we play this game? The complex and previously established word is gone; what's left are cartoons thereof. And then, there's not even a hint of role-playing left. Why can't I be mean to Harding?? I loved her in Inquisition, now her overly-girly manner grates on my nerves and I want to be mean to her. I can't, i have to be everyone's friend. In the end, I cannot decide anything, except the slight configuration of the final companion armour (why would I care, I don't know these people, I could not ask them a single question), and some slight cosmetic change regarding Solas - there is not even talk about tearing down the Veil. We've come full circle back to Mass Effect 3 and the groundbreaking decision we get to make is what colour the magic space beam is gonna have. Except, Mass Effect 3 was still a much better game, because you knew your crew - in this game, I have acutally no idea why Rook should lead anybody, why anybody would follow them, and why the literal fate of the world should be in the hands of this bunch of (after 100 hours of gameplay) near strangers. There ARE narrative work-arounds for this kind of shit; the writers just didn't care enough.

There are a hundred more small things I could say about this, about the story (Solas' prison was made of regret and he wanted to put Elgarnan there?? Who feels very good about everything he does?? Is he stupid? And then everyone is so impressed about Rook getting out to quickly, but seriously, what the fuck did Rook have to feel regretful about? They did not get to make a single decision. They did not order anyone to sacrifice themselves; they did not use people, or cities, as pawns in a war or whatever, BECAUSE THIS GAME HAS THE EMOTIONAL DEPTH OF A SMALLISH PUDDLE) and the in-game approach to the player (how often do i have to be told that i need to take care of my companions business?? This got so repetitive and made them seem like imcompetent children. Why wasn't there a better way to make me care, or better yet, trust the player to want to play this game), but I stop now. Fuck Bioware and EA.

[undertheknightwing]

it's march 29th which means happy anniversary to my favorite hot topic Superboy who ended up being one of the most interesting (and done dirty) characters s&l has ever brought in

[dayurno]

sometimes i’m sooooo blown away by the fact that kevin is so smart……. like yes he is the fox with the highest grades despite being also the fox with the tightest training schedule and yes he canonically gets called an obsessive genius and yes the extra content explicitly says he is both very smart and very willing to teach people. but really i am thinking about kevin playing reporters like fiddles, jean calling kevin too good of a liar to ever let anything slip, kevin going up to andrew post-game and wordlessly helping cover up the fact andrew is off his medicine by pretending andrew’s racquet had broken (and then proceeding to discreetly crush it in his hand when the foxes gather around andrew), kevin living a lifetime of walking on the edge of riko’s knife, kevin hiding french, hiding thea, kevin spotting potential from a mile away, kevin who even riko thought was brilliant and sharp-tongued. yeah……..!

[periwinkle-the-11th]

ngl as a chronic-pain-haver who regularly sorrows over the lack of chronic-pain-comfort-fics, getting into jayvik is doing great things for me.