#and her legs are off

[sunderwight]

Thinking about a crack SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a horse.

Luckily he is not a normal horse, no! He is a spiritual stallion, a character that was mainly a joke about the novel's genre in PIDW, originally bred on Cang Qiong's beast tamer peak but not actually encountered until Luo Binghe's "raze cultivation society to the ground" phase. At which point there was a subplot about him finding the stallion and letting it loose to run free, as like, an allegorical reference. Occasionally Binghe would find other horses across the years that were obviously descended from that one, as more jokes, until Airplane forgot about the reference and never brought it up again.

Shen Yuan, of course, was always Big Mad that Binghe never got to actually ride this super magical mystical horse, and never got the horsegirl arc he deserved! Where is the man's companion animal? How can someone with nine billion wives and even more nameless underlings be fated for a life of perpetual loneliness??

Naturally, the first thing Shen Yuan does upon figuring out that he's this magic horse is break out of the beast peak and make for Qing Jing. He's not necessarily planning to go bond with the protagonist or anything, but he's not particularly keen to live out his fate as some feral horse that fucks other horses either, and he's extremely valuable so it's unlikely anyone will kill him even if they catch him again. So, might as well take the opportunity to clap eyes on his favorite character before he's doomed to a life of eating hay and whatever, right?

Horse SY manages to arrive on Qing Jing Peak right before the start of the skinner mission, though, just as Ming Fan is telling Luo Binghe that there aren't enough horses. Ning Yingying points out SY and is all oh look, one of the stable hands must have realized the error and brought another, and everyone else is kind of like "uh that is... not a normal horse...?" but then Shen Qingqiu gets impatient and snaps at them to get a move on, and fear of their mercurial shizun overrides everything else to the point where Binghe just clambers desperately onto this mystical saddle-free horse.

Airplane borrowed kelpies for his demon beasts at some point and they are pretty common, so it occurs to Luo Binghe only after he's climbed onto the strange and definitely not normal Horse SY that he might be on the verge of getting carried off and drowned. But SY just kind of rolls with it, and falls into line with the other horses.

Hey, it's an excuse to leave the sect! And practice doing horse stuff! And also, he's not going to buck Luo Binghe off of his back!

Of course as it happens, the specific kind of magical horse that Shen Yuan is comes with a specially bred-for trait where they only bond to one rider. They're usually bred for like, kings and emperors and other highly important figures as status symbols, like magical companion animals but ones with perfectly mundane utilities. He's also got Shadowfax-like stamina and speed, meaning that Airplane can treat this kind of horse as interchangeable with a motorbike, and of course the capacity to cultivate. Which means that when the party finally arrives at their destination, everyone suddenly realizes that Luo Binghe has unwittingly bonded with a horse that's worth a fortune and won't ever let anyone else ride it now.

Shen Qingqiu flips his shit, Shen Yuan bites Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe hyperventilates, Ning Yingying gets kidnapped, and the situation basically resolves with Shen Yuan kicking the shit out of the skinner demon in defense of his new BFF the baby protagonist.

Well if he's going to end up letting anyone ride him for the rest of his life, Luo Binghe would be his first choice.

Anyway they get back and Shen Qingqiu is still spitting mad and offers Luo Binghe's head on a platter to the lord of the beast peak, but Beast Peak's people are actually kind of pleased. Like sure it's a little inconvenient, because Luo Binghe is a Qing Jing disciple and not one of theirs, but they were honestly beginning to worry that this stallion wouldn't bond with anyone! It's really hard to manage them when they don't! And SY in particular comes from a long and illustrious lineage that has nearly died out a few times, so they were never planning to sell him off even for a high price anyway. With a rider chosen, the odds of them getting him to cooperate for breeding purposes are a lot higher, plus it will be much easier to take care of him now! Though they will be taking Shen Qingqiu up on his offer of Luo Binghe's time, since "punishment" for this transgression will involve splitting his time between the peaks in order to help take care of SY (all the beast peak disciples are super relieved, apparently before Shen Yuan transmigrated, the horsey original goods was extremely prone to biting and kicking...)

Shen Qingqiu basically tells Luo Binghe not to bother coming back, which fills Binghe with despair, but he gets over it eventually. The beast peak is nice! They give him a cultivation manual as well, in order to help him understand what they do, and it seems that Binghe can understand it a lot better than his QJP one. The peak lord gives him permission to use the dorms as well, since there will probably be times when he has to stay overnight, and no one says much about it when Binghe basically moves in full time. On the books he's still a Qing Jing disciple, but functionally he's a transfer student now. He even sits in on classes and lectures, and a lot of the peak are just under the impression that he was transferred over to their peak in full.

Shen Yuan considers this a big improvement, and expects Luo Binghe to enjoy running around with all the pretty girls on the peak. But Binghe mostly seems to spend his time with him, in fact, asking questions upon questions not only about Shen Yuan's breed, but about his specific background and lineage. The beast peak is overall pretty nice, although sadly it's not full of cool monsters and companion animals as Shen Yuan would have hoped. Mostly the peak specializes in the cultivation world's equivalent of livestock and work animals, training beasts like spirit eagles and horses like himself, and raising animals prized for their meat, organs, bones, or other parts for medicinal, alchemical, or culinary ingredients, or sometimes components for weapons or other spiritual tools. They work the most closely with Qian Cao, Wan Jian, and An Ding.

Being a horse is honestly kind of boring for Shen Yuan, although running is fun, and he at least gets plenty of time to work on his cultivation.

By the time Sha Hualing's invasion happens, he's gotten pretty comfortable in his new state of affairs. Binghe has even figured out that he likes being read to, and has started reading aloud to him from various texts in the evenings! So far no good novels, or even bad trashy novels, but it's better than nothing!

Binghe also takes him for a lot of rides around the peaks (not Qing Jing) which is how they end up caught on Qiong Ding when the rainbow bridge goes down. When Shen Qingqiu tells Luo Binghe to fight, Binghe doesn't even have a weapon at hand.

Actually, he doesn't have a sword at hand.

Turns out having your magical horse kick a demon to death is still pretty effective!

Shen Yuan even manages to avoid getting poisoned too. Rather, Elder Hammer threatens to poison him and Luo Binghe charges at him shouting "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!" and etc, and does get nicked by the thorns, but only Binghe and Shen Yuan notice and of course the poison doesn't work on Binghe, congrats for unlocking a new hint as to Luo Binghe's mysterious origins!

Yes, Horse SY shows up to help Binghe in the Dream Demon event. He still looks like a horse for it, but it also marks the first time he's able to speak to Luo Binghe, which successfully distracts Luo Binghe from a lot of the tormenting visions of his past because talking magic horse friend has a way of doing that.

So the Dream Demon is like, that's not a normal horse, and Luo Binghe is all "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!" and Shen Yuan gets knocked out of the dream as usual. Wakes up to Luo Binghe rushing to his stall to check on him and prepare him some nice warm congee and double-check that he can't talk for reals (only in dreams for now, alas).

Anyway Luo Binghe has no reason to hide his demonic cultivation practice from his horse, so Shen Yuan gets to sit in on it as Binghe tries to put Meng Mo's teachings into practice, which he finds super cool. Binghe's normal cultivation also progresses quite a bit, but he's still very much disadvantaged there because the beat peak is only giving him like, half-assed guest disciple status lessons, no personal one-and-one tutelage, and he's unofficially banned from Qing Jing and wouldn't get any help there anyway (apart from Ning Yingying). The beast peak lord isn't really his shizun and Shen Qingqiu isn't going to take Binghe to do things like claim a sword from Wan Jian, either.

Luckily, Binghe can now confer with his horse in his dreams! Shen Yuan has such helpful ideas as compelling various hall masters and combat teachers to dream about their lessons, so that Binghe can insert himself into the form of their students and supplement his tutelage with nighttime training from all around the sect. And also stealing some blank documents from An Ding and forging paperwork to turn over to Wan Jian to make it look like Binghe has permission to claim a spiritual sword without Shen Qingqiu's approval.

What a way to pass the time before the Immortal Alliance Conference!

Horse Shen Yuan would like very much to just carry Luo Binghe away in the opposite direction, thank you, but he does have a system and it is still holding a metaphorical gun to his head about this. Still, there's no force in the world that could keep Shen Yuan in his stable when shit starts to go down, or that could stop him from kicking the snot out of Shen Qingqiu when he tries to throw Binghe into the Abyss. (Binghe's thoughts on the fight: "stay away from my horse! I'll kill you!")

However, Binghe does still get thrown down, and Horse SY runs off whilst weeping crystalline tears of dismay as his mane whips in the wind, imagining a future where a blackened Luo Binghe returns for his revenge arc and symbolically sends his beloved horsie companion away forever to go frolic or some shit, which Shen Yuan is not interested in!

But what can he do? By the time Binghe gets out of the Abyss, his need for a horse will be decidedly minimal. It already went down a bunch when he finally got Zheng Yang (that Binghe somehow almost never flew anywhere on, surely for reasons unrelated to his bond with SY), and with Xin Mo and all his OP talents, even if he did keep Shen Yuan, wouldn't he become as much of a useless background character as countless auxiliary wives in his harem?

No! He won't stand for it! There has to be a way for him to convince even blackened Binghe that Shen Yuan is still the best ride in town!

Luckily, Shen Yuan knows where there are some power-ups that might be able to help him. While he won't touch anything that would be vital for the protagonist, he's more flexible on screwing over random future harem members or side characters, especially when it wouldn't even really harm them all that much. So while Binghe is going through his gauntlet of horrors in the Abyss, Shen Yuan embarks on his own level-up quest to dramatically increase his cultivation, and become more capable of keeping up with Binghe.

When this leads to Shen Yuan being able to take on a human form, he gets really excited, but that's mostly for personal comfort reasons. He can finally hold books again! And talk to people! Who cares if he looks like someone's ponysona gijinka, he can walk over to a stall and order meat buns!

Unicorn form is next, and it's... meh? Mostly it's a boost in his cultivation. The horn looks fun but doesn't really do much.

When he upgrades to being able to take on a pegasus form, now that's really cool. He can fly now! Not only is it crazy good fun, but it also increases his mobility exponentially. Surely riding a flying horse would be more comfortable than balancing on a sword, too?

But that's not enough for his actual goal, he needs to keep going until he finally finds the right bullshit mythical item that will do what he hopes:

Turn him into a dragon!

Unfortunately said bullshit item is in the demon realms, which are a fairly difficult place to navigate as either a horse or a human. Beefing up for the trip takes Shen Yuan just about two years, and requires all of his other upgrades. But he does it, he gets to the demon realms, eats the creatively named Dragon Fruit Plant, and... gets... stuck???

In his new dragon form???

WTF this didn't happen to the random ox that Luo Binghe fed the fruit to in order to create a suitable beast of burden to impress the husband of Wife No.666! Although, thinking about it, maybe it did because it wasn't like the ox ever turned back into an ox afterwards. But Shen Yuan just figured that was because it was a simple beast of burden and saw becoming a dragon as an overall upgrade, why go back? He honestly hadn't really thought about it!

Cue Luo Binghe getting out of the Abyss only to shortly find that a random dragon is following him around. Maybe that just happens here? It doesn't attack him, at least, and he has no time to deal with it (or to sleep) because his first order of business is establishing enough of a foothold in the demon realms to regain access to the human ones, and find out what happened to his horse. And then kill Shen Qingqiu. In that order.

[fcthots]

Jason Todd would want you to take pictures of his face between your legs.

He'd want you to make sure that you have the flash on and have your other hand buried in his hair. Multiple pictures too. One with his face completely buried in your folds. One with his eyes drunkenly locked on you. Another after you tug his face away, hand still in his hair, with glassy half open eyes and slick all over his mouth.

If you send him the pictures when he's out of the house and busy, he'll drop whatever he's doing to get to take some more. And if you send him a video of you touching yourself to the pictures? He will go 100 in a 35 to see you and get to watch you.

[89cats]

randoms of my little babes lately :’)

[honeycrispjamz]

Why is Misty giving ‘Rachel and her two gay dads’ in this bts photo

[royalarchivist]

[After they talk about Pac's debt to the Pancake Mafia, and Pac warns her about Sir Reaper]

Bagi: I think you're the one that needs to be careful, because soon you might lose your other leg.

Pac: N-no! NO! Please don't! Stop- stop! STOP TALKING LIKE YOUR BROTHER!

Bagi: [Laughs]

Pac: I'll pay you– I'm going to pay you!

I want to give a MASSIVE thank you to @wasabi-ribs, who was kind enough to check my translations and help me with the parts I missed (and also reviewed the final subtitled video)!

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]

-

Bagi: Pac, pay the rent!

Pac: I'm going to pay! Hey- I'm going to pay right this second, the money that I owe you, and... and I'm- I'm serious! And look, if you want- if you have more money... If I pay your 4,500, will you lend me 4,500? No, then I'll actually drown in fees. [Laughs]

Bagi: [Laughs] I'll lend you, I'll lend you

Pac: No, not really Bagi. You've got those red eyes– I'm scared, Bagi. I don't know– I don't know what happened, actually it's an eye infection, I know– But something tells me it's not just an eye infection, that it's also some other things, you know? Like, um... y'know, right? [He fumbles again] Oh God wait, your brother– when he had those red eyes he would also turn evil. Nonononono– I'll pay you, ok? Where's the waystone? It's here, it's here, it's here– I'll pay you, ok? I'll pay the 4,500- we're gonna–

Bagi: I'll be waiting.

Pac: No no, oh- just– Just let me walk, my God, I love walking– OH, WALKING IS SO GOOD – [Pac teleports] I'll pay her.

[Bagi follows him moments after]

Pac: [Pac mumbles to himself as he begins transferring money to Bagi] 4,500... I need to pay her 4,500...

Bagi: [Sneaks up on him] Oh, perfect!

Pac: [SCREAMS]

[mercutio-the-velaryon]

You would think Mel Medarda died in the season one finale the way the only discourse about her that gets popular in the wider fandom is about not only her actions in season 1 but a very specific scene in a very specific context like did y'all see her in season two or do you only care when she's a device for Jayce and Viktor's character arcs?

[ilikeicecoffee-blog]

I was going to post this at 11:59pm before the New Year came in for me, buuut I fell asleep before I could do that😭 So, it'll be my first piece for 2025 instead :)

While both of them are heavy sleepers, Peach is usually the one to wake up first. If this happens while Mario still wants to sleep in some more, he will latch onto Peach's leg like a koala because he still wants to be next to her while he sleeps🤭

Peach walks around more carefully and makes sure not to bump him into any furniture when he does this. She wants to make sure he gets all the beauty rest he needs😌

[tippenfunkaport]

Happy Birthday, Bow!

Catra and Adora surprised him with a pooka plushie so he wouldn't be tempted to go to Beast Island and hug a real one.

(for @glimbowweek prompt Surprise!)

[possamble]

In one of the extra comics Marcille mentions that elves don't have body hair, her included. So Falin staring at a naked pussy is Canon

I mean, I hear what you're saying but...

To be 100% honest, this feels really ambiguous. She's a little too worked up in that second panel. Like, a lot of people have interpreted it as her being defensive and self-conscious about the fact that she shaves and waxes religiously (especially in the context of a trans headcanon) and that feels more right to me?

My personal interpretation is that she really doesn't grow little facial hairs (partially bc we've seen Senshi's huge beard turn into a tiny little elf stache so there is some real evidence for that). But then she doesn't actually know if she has peach fuzz or not and gets REALLY flustered about being scrutinized before she can check for herself and shave off anything she doesn't like.

But either way, my point is that I don't think we're meant to take Marcille's words here at 100% face value and consider it evidence for elf physiology.

And listen. I think Marcille should have a bald pussy in the bath scene bc rule of funny. But beyond that, I want to believe elves can grow pubic hair. I want to believe in the postcanon blondie bush. She's exponentially cuter with it, and I don't want Falin to have to eat bald pussy for the rest of her life. I'm only half joking when I say I want it as a part of her character growth. At the end of the story, Marcille Donato accepts that she is a living, breathing animal that eats and will be eaten and sweats and shits and grows hair all over her body. She learns to accept mortality, starts to reconcile with the inherent grotesqueness of being alive, and most importantly, lets her bush grow out for the first time in her life. And it's beautiful.

[mintypsii]

mini sanusos 🤫🤫

[flicklikesstuff]

“Maybe the flash was to blame. Or maybe it’s his shrunken state that gave the looming witch the illusion of being exactly 10 feet tall.

Whatever it was, it had flicked something within. Suddenly, he was no longer a lizard. Nor a great, powerful wizard. Not even “Rick Shades.”

He was a little Gourami.

Only 12 years old. Eyes wide and unobscured. Skin smooth from the lack of scars. But most of all, untainted by the horrors.

And unlike that little Gourami, he was entirely aware of what’s coming for them. He could warn the 12 year old. Maybe save them even. Tell her that continuing this approach is a bad, BAD, VERY TERRIBLY BAD IDEA!!

…

But he couldn’t.”

My inspiration pieces: :)

[cantstayawaycani]

I gotta say as a 5'10 girlie with a size 10 foot, it's completely hilarious to me to see this munchkin be so unhinged and pressed that she can no longer reach the shelf her career fell off of, that she can think of no other insult to fling but "bitch you're tall and you have big feet."

Um, OK, Oompa.

[georgialawman]

“hes like you now- kind of…. he’s all the excuses and half the fun. I miss you. both of you.”

time travel | truth potion | body swap

[littleplantfreak]

I can't go back to sleep until I write Umemiya pining after a girl who's busier than he is apparently so. I didn't really proofread sorry! :P

The first time he meets you, you literally fall into his arms. Not in the romantic way though, you're just running so fast that when you stumble, trying to skew your direction enough that you don't hurt him, he's fumbling to catch you. The box of books your trying to bring to the library donation box scatters and you're in the most awkward hold ever. "Sorry, really should've watched where I was going," you tell him, out of breath and sweaty. He tries to help you pick up the books but you wave his hand off, before saying a quick goodbye and heading off. He laughs about it later, remembering your hair completely disheveled from the fall and the way you went back to running to the library even though he's sure it's not going anywhere anytime soon.

He ends up asking more people about you, finding out more about you from them, than he's able to glean from his rare run-ins with you. You're as active in the community as he is, just in different ways. Walking a bunch of younger kids to school in the morning because they have to cross a busy street and the school hasn't been able to cover the crossing guard position just yet or helping run the fundraiser for a local shop's owner who's sick, your schedule is packed even when you don't plan for it to be.

Everyone can see him getting a stupidly goofy look on his face as he calls out a quick greeting seeing you on your way somewhere. The first time he sees you tired he's nervous immediately. It's totally normal, given how much you do, but the hunch in your shoulders and sluggish way you're eating the food at Pothos has his stomach turning. He's considering asking Hiragi for stomach medicine now. When you go to leave he's grabbing the fabric of your sleeve gently tugging, a little unsure if you'd be against him grabbing your hand. He's a gentle guy, but no one's seen him treat anyone that delicately before.

"I know you're busy, but could you make time for me?" He's asking, and you misunderstand his concern for you as him really needing help with something, shooting a text to the people you were supposed to meet. You agree and he leads you to the school rooftop, giving you a brief tour.

"What did you need help with again?" You ask, yawning into your hands.

"Ah..." He trails off because he didn't need help but he figures you must've thought that when he asked for your time. "Ya see this hammock over here? I'm trying to figure out if I need to get a new one! Could you try it out for me?" He figures trying to explain that he just wanted to spend time with you might go over your head, so making up an excuse is the best bet, not to mention he might be able to get you to rest.

You're not fazed in the slightest, having been asked weirder favors. "Yeah, it's not gonna fall over or anything, right?" It'd suck to lay down only to end up face first on concrete.

"No no! It's completely safe I promise!" And he's relieved when he finally sees you lie down. It's insanely comfortable too. You start melting into it, pretty sure at this point you're gonna be glued to it forever. "Comfy?" He smiles, knowing for a fact that it is.

"Mm," you mumbled a little out of it. If you don't get up soon you might just fall asleep.

"Think there's room for two? I heard checking that it can handle it's weight limit is important," He says nearly laughing at such an easily seen through excuse, knowing you're probably too tired to even register his logic. Patting the side, you scoot over a bit, waiting for him to lie down too. "O-oh no I was kidding-,"

"Umemiya," and the way you're saying his name, a little gruff from exhaustion has his hear pounding in his ears. You pat the side harder, punctuating your silent demand. It's a tight squeeze next to him, but not entirely uncomfortable, noting how big he actually is next to you. "Think you need a bigger one," you say practically in his neck due to your positions, setting his nerves on fire. Is it hot up here? He's sweating a little, feeling a flush climbing up his neck to his ears. You go quiet, and as he looks over you're fast asleep, starting to drool on his shoulder a bit, chest rising and falling softly.

He's the human equivalent of an exclamation point now, unable to actually move to get off unless he wants to wake you up, which is currently unthinkable. He's able to get his phone out though, and is texting Hiragi in incomprehensible strings of text all in caps, an excess of emojis flying into the chat. Thankfully, Hiragi's had years of experience translating what Ume's trying to say, and when he gets the gist he's thrilled. He hopes they stay up there all day, and his stomach eases reflexively at the though of his leader tied up and unable to cause any trouble. Umemiya gets a quick text back in acknowledgement saying Hiragi'll make sure no one comes up to the roof for the afternoon.

Eventually, after calming down his giddiness, he also end up passing out, getting the best, yet sweatiest sleep of his life. He also ends up with a nasty sunburn on his arm that fell into a patch of sunlight on the side of the hammock, but thinks it's very much worth it when you panic and start massaging aloe into it. Once you wake up, you realize his ply was to get you to rest all along and you're thankful for it asking if you could borrow his hammock again sometime. He's nearly tripping over himself trying to explain that you could come here every day and it wouldn't be a problem, in fact it'd be amazing if you did because he could show you how his garden is doing and introduce you to everyone and, and, and. He's got you giggling with the enthusiasm, before you shake your head saying once a week probably works better. "Maybe tuesdays?" you ask and he agrees, obviously please. "It's a date then." You say, grabbing your stuff before asking him to show you the way back to the front of the school.

He nearly has a heart attack at the word 'date' but for the rest of the week, he's so excited it's annoying, eventually a flustered Sakura yelling at Ume to "Shut up about your girlfriend" and he does. For about 1 minute.

[lnquisition]

Eyes of an eagle, roar of a lion. But maybe... the heart of a halla.

[myokk]

Eloise🥹💓