#and her absence literally destroys everything

[ellouchi]

Yet again I see people mischaracterizing Jimmy as some jerk who lashes out on people for no reason and berates them for anything minor like where did you get this from did you actually read any dialogues in the game????????

Jimmy really only threw one shade at Daisuke, he didn't think he was spoilt rich kid he just said he was covered by his parents because he had support system unlike all of them grown up adults. Most of times Jimmy just awkwardly slid off silly things Daisuke said, like the ladies comment or when they were mixing the drink. Daisuke actually trusted and listened to Jimmy throughout the game (to his own detriment unfortunately). Jimmy sent him to the vent because he was the captain and he wasn't going to do the dirty job obviously and if the Swansea somehow woke up Jimmy could shift the blame like he had already got away with. Even when eventually things went to shits we don't see him blaming Daisuke because Jimmy recognised that it was his decision to send him there. Jimmy didn't want to fatally injure him, he tried to "fix it later" which didn't help at all and Jimmy felt guilty about it.

Jimmy treated Anya dog shit half the time it's true but not to the extent some people make it to be. He loves control, he has said so to Curly's face, to ours and that's why he made sure to put her down and belittle her. That's why he (potentially repeatedly) sexually assaulted Anya — because rape is form of power play, he didn't even want her sexually. Initially, Jimmy didn't hate Anya, he just didn't like her and the feeling was mutual. He continued to do bare minimum for her, like when checking up on the crew. If I had to guess how Jim viewed her by the end, then he most likely found her inferior, incompetent, always putting work on his shoulders (or responsibilities he didn't want (pregnancy)), together with being paranoid of her having the potential to ruin his life. That's why he got so pissed off when he saw her crying to Swansea, very likely having already told another person of what he has done. (I'm 100% sure he holds the grudge for telling Curly, who then rushed to "fix things", making Curly seem like a responsible captain which Jim hated.)

Jimmy never made any attempts at understanding or sympathising with Swansea. He knew him longer than Daisuke yet the latter understood him better. Jimmy probably thought that Swansea was an old grumpy man who hated everyone and everything. As the game went on Jimmy just considered Swansea to be nothing but a selfish drunkard (due to immediately assuming he was hoarding cryopod to himself). After the vent incident who Jim blames for the absence of medicine? If Swansea wasn't so stubborn (for like, few times) Jimmy wouldn't have need to spend prescious recourses on him. He could have saved Daisuke instead and fix his fuck up but Swansea ruined it twice. Swan doing arguably the right thing by putting out Daisuke out of his misery only solidified his role as a villain and a threat in Jimmy's eyes, that's why probably as a revenge (for not giving him enough time to think) he went for the gun instead of cryopod like Swansea allowed him to.

And finally Curly. Honestly this deserves a separate book on it's own at this point. It's almost 3 a.m. here so I'll only mention some stuff. Jim aggressively lashes out twice on-screen, first time because he literally lost his dream job, listened to Curly "bitching about having said dream job" and couldn't come face to the fact that Curly was "abandoning him while also looking unscratched from the fall of the ladder" while Jimmy will return to his struggle of life (he didn't even know about the pregnancy yet...). Second time was when Anya endangered Jim's new status as a captain and like I mentioned reminded him that she could fuck up his life even more. Feeling like he was losing control, Jimmy beat up poor Curly who was stripped out of said control by non other than Jimmy. Finally, he was violent off screen by destroying Polle, out of frustration, irritation from the thing, and/or hatred and resentment for the company (que "Pony express is dead" line). In one instance he says "He's mocking us" which confirms that it's about Jimmy's ego.

In conclusion STOP MAKING MY SHITTY CHARACTER SHITTY IN THE WRONG WAYS. This isn't even a full blown analysis of Jimmy's character but accumulation of posts I read and conclusions I came with.

Focus on his already preexisting shitty qualities stop making up new ones ffs signing out.

[amsgrey]

Deja Vu II

Part I

Okay so, I have been researching more and trying to get things at least somewhat accurate before I wrote part two. In the first part, I wrote TBI, with further research, what I was actually trying to write is an Anoxic brain Injury (still technically a TBI). The whole idea there is when the brain is starved of oxygen critical functions are impacted and there can be a whole bunch of differing symptoms after it. OBVIOUSLY, I am NOT a medical professional, so take everything with a big ol' grain of salt. I am thinking of writing some more parts to this but purely when I have time bc adult life sucks. I kept the ending open but also al actual end, unlike the first part. Hope it is somewhat enjoyable.

WARNINGS: Medical stay, seizures, talk of needles + medical procedures, hospitals, Will and Jay being their usually angsty selves, poor writing and zero editing

"Will?"

Abrams looked between the Halsteads, not sure what his place was. Everyone remembered when Pat Halstead passed, mostly because the Halstead brawl was talked about for weeks. Will Halstead was known for causing headaches for plenty of people around Med, he was the topic of gossip all through the building.

Abrams was saved by the bell - literally. His pager started beeping, excusing him from the brewing storm between the brothers.

"I'll put in for the tests," He tossed over his shoulder, disappearing into the stream of medical workers.

"Will." Jay snapped, glowering at his brother.

Will scrubbed a hand down his face, "Abrams needs to run more tests."

"More tests?" Jay pressed, "What just happened, Will?"

Will shook his head, looking at his younger brother he knew, telling Jay how bad this might be, would destroy him. Jay hated hospitals, hated medical things in general. Will couldn't look him in the eye and plant the same fear he had gnawing at him.

"I don't know, Jay," Will sighed, "I'm not a neurologist."

Jay didn't want to accept his answer, but Will didn't give him much of a chance. He turned back to your hospital room, forcing a smile as he entered.

"What was that about?" You asked, exactly where they left you.

"Just more tests," Will smiled. He stopped at the top of your bed, checking you over with doctor's eyes. You could always tell when he flipped between Big Brother and Doctor because Big Brother Will wore his emotions. Doctor Will was better at keeping his poker face like he was now.

Will's eyes flittered around the monitors before settling back on yours. His eyes softened, the slight furrow in his brow disappearing and a smile pulling on his lips again.

"You feeling alright?"

You nodded, "I'm just tired."

Will nodded, he reached out and brushed the hair off your forehead, "Get some sleep, yeah? We'll be here the whole time."

Jay reached out and squeezed your hand, before pulling up the blanket and tucking you in.

A few hours later, you were sitting up in your hospital bed while a Neurology Tech attached electrodes to your scalp. Jay had left for home, for a shower and clean clothes. He promised he would bring back your blanket and pillow and some other stuff to make you more comfortable, seeming Will said it would be okay.

While he was gone, Will sat at the end of the bed, holding your hand through the Electrode placement. After the Tech finished, you were attached to a monitor with wires upon wires, all differing colours. The tech apologized for the cap that sat over all the leads, promising it wasn’t too bad.

“it’s a new fashion trend,” you joked, smiling at the tech, “Nuero floor chic.”

The tech laughed, continuing her work. When she was done, she walked you through what she had done. Explaining the placement and the leads, and how it all worked.

"This is your personal EEG," She explained, gesturing to the boxy machine on wheels that your wires were attached to, "Try to keep it close."

She explained a few more things, then promised to return in a little while. In her absence, Dr. Abrams stopped through again. He looked over the techs work, mumbling to himself and making medical comments only Will understood.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

You had already taken a nap, so you weren't as tired as you had been.

"Sick of sitting," You said, stretching your legs and accidentally nudging Will in the process. Will playfully batted at your feet, feigning offence.

Abrams pulled at the EEG machine on wheels, testing how the wheels glided, "If you are feeling up for it, you can go for a small walk."

You lit up, "I can?"

"If you take it slow," Abrams ordered, "And Will is by your side."

Will nodded, "Are you feeling up for it?"

"Yes."

Will helped you detangle yourself from the blanket, letting you adjust to being fully upright for the first time that day. Your feet dangled over the bed as you took a moment to compose your spinning head. Will pulled a pair of socks over your bare feet, muttering something about keeping your toes warm. He held your arm as you stood up, supporting your weight as your body adjusted again.

"You alright?"

"Mmm," You responded, focused on staying upright.

"Okay," Will wrapped an arm around your waist, "One step at a time, we'll try to make it to the nurse's station and back."

It was slow going. With every step you took, it felt like the world was twisting, like walking through an earthquake. Will's arms hovered around you, only holding you up when you needed the support. He was so steady in his support, his warm presence keeping you grounded and calm.

Two steps outside of your room, Jay bounded up with your pillow and blanket tucked under his arm.

"They're upright," He commented, "Nice hair, too."

He reached out and pretended to ruffle your hair, careful to avoid touching the wires around your head. You reached out to smack his hand, but missed drastically.

You frowned at Jay, frustration barely contained, "Sshut. uphh."

The words sounded fumbled through your gritted teeth. Abrams had mentioned how you needed to take things slow and Will tried to tell you that it might be frustrating at first, but you weren’t expecting to feel such anger. It was gnawing away at you. A week ago you were dancing around with Makayla, wrangling her for a weekend while Kim and Adam worked. You had run around, danced, sung, every little thing that made Makayla happy. Not you hardly knew how to move your feet, could hardly tell what direction was up.

The anger grew and held firm in your head, making itself known with its red cloud fogging your mind.

Will grabbed your hand, "You okay?"

"Hmm."

Your vision blurred, everything swaying and twisting as you fell forward.

Will was faster than Jay was, for once. He saw the signs a mile away, already braced for when you would fall. He held you to his chest, lowering both of you to the ground and cradling your head as your body started to convulse.

Jay immediately dropped what he was carrying, falling to his knees by your side. Jay looked up at Will trying to ask silently what to do, but the eldest Halstead had gone full doctor mode.

"Need some help over here!" Will shouted, calling for the nurse's assistance.

"I need you to breathe,” Will spoke with such certainty, like he was treating any other patient.

“You’re okay,” Will kept repeating, “Just breathe, I’ve got you.”

Jay was ushered out of the way by the nurses, who crowded in with monitors and equipment to help Dr Halstead. All Jay could do was watch helplessly.

Jay held his breath as the medical team got you off the ground and transferred you back to the hospital bed. The leads they had removed that morning were reattached, placed on your ashen skin.

Dr Abrams rushed into the room and ordered Will to get out of his way, the forced politeness gone now the situation was emergent. Will stepped back, somewhat dubiously, letting Abrams run his team.

“How did you do that?” Jay asked when will stood by his side, the pair of them watching as Abrams and the team worked.

With a dose of meds, the convulsions stopped, but the team checked over the leads and kept working.

“Do what?” Will asked, turning to look at his brother. Jay had grown pale, the fear and anxiety he felt spelt out across his features. His eyes kept darting from you to the heart monitor screen like it was going to flatline.

“Stay so calm?” Jay whispered, taking a deep breath for the first time in the last few minutes. The nurses placed a mask over your face, securing it behind your head and then leaving the Halsteads and Abrams in the room.

“Jay…” Will tried to find a way to explain it, how he could just shut off his fear in that moment to help you. But he couldn’t find the words.

“She’s stable,” Abrams spoke in the silence that had formed, “From now on, we’ll keep giving them diazepam to keep them relaxed. No more strolls, even if it is supervised.”

Will nodded, taking it in.

Abrams was mostly speaking to Will, Jay was by your side, focused solely on you. He held your hand, careful to avoid the IV that was in the back of it. He watched you breathe, every-time you exhaled, he watched the mask fog up. He listened to the quiet puffs and the melodic beeping. You were okay. He kept trying to force himself to remember that. You were okay.

“Hopefully we can get this under control. In the meantime, we’ll keep monitoring, keep on with the EEG testing for the next few hours. Hopefully we’ll learn more.”

Will nodded, clapping Abrams on the back, “Thanks, Sam.”

The big brother in him wanted to press for answers, but the doctor in him knew that sometimes Doctors didn’t have the answers. If Abrams knew, he would share.

Will did a check over you and the monitors with his eyes, again. Then looked over to Jay, who looked completely deflated. It was no secret that Jay hated hospitals and medical treatment in general, especially needles. Spending time in hospitals usually gave him the creeps and he would always say to Will, “I don’t know how you do it, man.”

But Jay hadn’t complained even once. Not when he was watching the IV get put in your hand, or while you were attached to countless machines. Will knew it was because he felt hopeless. The same look that he wore at their dads bedside he wore now. Will stood and stared for a while, the memory playing in his mind in time with real life. This was different. You weren’t on life support like your father had been, things were different. That didn’t change the memories Will had of his dads last moments plaguing his mind.

“I stayed calm because i had too,” Will finally spoke. Jay looked up, watching his brother cross his arms over his chest and take a deep breath.

“I had to stay calm, for her.”

Jay shook his head, “I just froze, Will. And you-“

“Trained for years to react in medical emergency situations, spent years working the ER,” Will interrupted.

“Jay,” Will reached over the bed and gave jays shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “I do this every day. I know how to tune out the emotions and focus on medical stuff.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Will sat on one of the chairs, mirroring Jay across the bed, “Listen. I could never get used to being shot at, could never be shot at and react how you do. Because I’m not trained, I’m not good at that. You aren’t a doctor Jay, stop beating yourself up over something that was a basic human reaction.”

Jay didn't answer, letting silence fall over the room. Neither one of the brothers was up for a conversation, mostly just consumed with their own thoughts as they watched you sleep.

You had stirred a few times in the coming hours but mostly stayed sleeping. Will told Jay that it was a combination of the medication and the stress of recent events catching up with you. In his words, it was nothing to worry about.

"Hey," A soft voice called from the door, Will and Jay stood to greet Hailey as she stepped into the room.

Will and Jay had been off work since you had gotten worse, staying by your side or close by ever since. Both Voight and Goodwin understood, giving them all the time they needed.

"I brought some supplies," Hailey joked, handing food over to the brothers, "And I stopped by home and Wills, got some clothes."

"Thanks, Hailey."

"Yeah, Of course." Hailey stood by Jay, taking his hand for his comfort. "How's she doing?"

Will relayed the events of the day, the incident in the hall and all the things that had happened since. Things were moving fast, more tests and hopeful treatment plans were being talked about.

"It'll be okay," Will finished, mostly trying to convince Jay more than himself. He knew the look on Abram's face, knew that everything was far from okay.

Will told Jay to go back to work after a week, promising him that sitting by your side was a one-man job. Will had spoken to Goodwin, who agreed to let him take his occurred PTO for as long as he needed. So for the three weeks you were in the hospital he stayed by your side. You weren't used to having Will there every single minute of every single day, but you didn't mind it too much. Mostly he helped you go on walks or watched over you like a personal nurse. You knew that he and Jay were worried, but the overprotective brother act was suffocating at times. During the last week of your stay, you managed to convince him to let you have more space - that when he left the room you wouldn't make a break for it like Jay would. He agreed hesitantly, mostly hanging around from lunch until you fell asleep at night. You complained to Jay when he visited every day, but you were thankful he was there.

On the last few days of your time in the hospital, you were more independent, nothing like what you were before the accident, but more than before. You could walk small distances unsupported and some of your fine motor skills came back. The PT had told you it was common after TBI's for patients to lose control of their movements and motor skills, she promised that you would get better as time went on.

Dr Abrams had spoken to Will and Jay about Rehabilitation centres, there were a few in the city that focused on TBI rehabilitation but Will had been dragging his feet. Jay wanted to do what was best for you, even if it meant you might have to stay in a rehab facility. Will had a sour taste in his mouth over it all.

"Come in," Goodwin called from inside her office.

Will pushed open the door, greeting Sharon and Peter.

"What can I help you with, Doctor Halstead?" Sharon asked after Peter had left.

Will explained his plan, reviewing all the details he had sorted out. When he finished, Sharon was nodding in approval.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I am," Will was sure nothing could change his mind now.

"Okay then, I will talk to Dr Archer, and see how we can help," Goodwin bid Will the best, letting him continue on his way.

Will met Jay right outside your room, almost running straight into him.

"Will," Jay grabbed his brother's arm, "We need to talk about the rehab facility-"

"Yeah," Will nodded, "I know, i have a plan."

Will ushed Jay back into the room. He gestured to Jay to a chair and took a seat at the end of your bed. You were expecting him to stop by, sitting up properly on the bed expecting some kind of serious conversation from the eldest Halstead.

"What is it, doc?" You joked.

Will smiled, reaching out and holding your hand, "I have spoken to Dr Abrams and Sharon Goodwin and I have decided that we won't be trying to find a rehab facility."

Jay sighed, he had been arguing with Will about this for the better part of the week. "Will-"

"I think you should stay with me," Will told you directly, "I've taken a leave of absence, I think you should be home and recovering."

You looked to Jay, who was just as surprised. Jay hardly got caught off guard by Will, right now he had never been more surprised.

"Are you sure?" Jay broke the silence that settled over the room.

"If that is what you want?"

You could feel the joy blooming in your chest, a wide smile breaking across your face, "Yes. Please, yes."

Will mirrored your grin, pulling you into a tight hug and kissing your forehead. At times like this, you were reminded how much Will and Jay became like parents to you after your father's death. Although it was painful for all of you, you didn't have a good relationship with your father. He was never caring or affectionate, he never came to your sports games or awards, that was all Jay and Will. They stepped up and took care of you, they always have and promised they always would. You were so drained from the last few days of tests and the week in the hospital that you felt like you might burst into tears.

Will could sense your fragile state, staying sitting by your side and holding your hand. Jay got to his feet and pulled you into a hug too, then clapped Will on the back. 

“So when am I allowed out?” You pressed, hoping to be home and somewhere familiar. 

“Slow your roll,” Jay laughed, “There's still things that need to be organized.” 

You let out a loud dramatic sigh, “I hate it here,” You whined. 

Will wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him and playfully messing up your hair, “It won't be too much longer, promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” You raised your finger, dramatically pouting. 

Will indulged you, linking his pinky through yours and giving you a serious stare, “Pinky promise.”

taglist: @halstead-severide-fan

[blueskittlesart]

if dark link was in totk how do u think he'd be handled ?

badly

sigh ok hold on ill be serious. i don't really think a dark link in totk would ever be necessary because totk is already doing everything that dark link did in oot, just via different methods. environmental things like the silent princess memorials and the spirits of dead soldiers offering up weapons in the depths give us a sense of the guilt link must feel over his past actions, as well as the fact that the inciting incident of the game is a similarly-framed failure in the face of an enemy which takes zelda and causes widespread destruction to hyrule. i've said it before, but link literally carries proof of that mistake and the guilt from it with him for the entire game in the form of rauru's arm--a reminder that his OWN arm wasn't good enough to prevent all this.

I think there are a few fights which cumulatively have similar narrative weight for totk link to the oot dark link fight, one of them being the gloom hands/phantom ganon (and yes, there is at least one required instance of this fight in order to get the true ending of the game, it's in korok forest.) the gloom hands are imo representative specifically of link's fear of failure and his guilt over his past failures. there's a reason they manifest initially as hands, and when they chase him they perform that reaching motion that's so reminiscent of him reaching for zelda and ultimately failing to catch her. they also cause a "midday blood moon" effect when link approaches them, which is strikingly similar to the way the sky changes when you approach calamity ganon in botw--his first major failure. once you fight and defeat the gloom hands, they reveal their true form--phantom ganon. if the hands themselves are symbolic of link's guilt and percieved failure, phatom ganon is the truth behind it--it was never link's fault in the first place. ganon is the cause of the destruction. link is blaming himself for something that he is not at fault for, and only after he faces his own guilt and fear head-on will the actual truth (phantom ganon) be revealed.

the other fight that i think sort of occupies the same narrative space as dark link in oot is the puppet zelda/phantom ganon fight in the castle sanctum. similarly, this fight deals with illusion and memory, and is explicitly ganon manipulating link using his trauma and guilt. There's a reason ganon leads link up into the sanctum, a place which obviously holds a crazy amount of significance for him. there's a reason puppet zelda turns the ruined room pristine again, and there's a reason she specifically mentions "memories" multiple times as she does it. ganon is attempting to break link down by poking at what he knows are sore spots--link's guilt over the way that hyrule was destroyed during his hundred-year absence, the fact that he doesn't remember much of his life pre-calamity (if you watch his face during that cutscene when she says 'memories'... agh. anyways.) his guilt over specifically what happened to zelda. All of this comes together so that ganon can force a vulnerable and unprepared link into a difficult battle in the hopes of taking him out. When link defeats phantom ganon, the sanctum returns to its ruined state, and puppet zelda disappears completely from hyrule. she's not even in the blood moon cutscenes anymore. Metaphorically, this is link coming to terms with the fact that she's really gone, and that he has to keep going anyway.

[ficsinhistory]

Everyone says how sonamy would be reverse in movie verse (sonic pursues after amy) but i do find it interesting that amy's dynamic with metal sonic is reverse from games and near same to game sonic's dynamic with metal sonic:

game amy went out her way to help metal sonic to reunite with eggman in that one christmas special to where she gave him a flower and ribbon to him despite how the fact he literally kidnapped her before and game sonic constantly fights which he always destroys metal sonic so much however it never sticks since metal can just be rebuild anew to fight sonic all over again which metal just needs one chance to kill him so he'll be the one true sonic

Movie amy has to been fighting metal sonic so much that she's able to destroy his copies with ease in the post credits scene meaning she's used to fighting and destroying him so much at that point but metal just needs one chance to kill her since she's organic with one life while he's a robot that can just be rebuild anew after being destroyed thus I doubt movie amy would treat metal like that one sonic mania christmas short

First of all, thank you very much for your question. I love big questions!!!!

Second, op your ✨mind✨!!!

You're absolutely right, the dynamic between Amy and Metal is completely changed to be more Game Sonic and Game Metal and I think that was intentional!

But it wasn't Metal who changed. He's still the same robot who despises Sonic and who was programmed by Robotinik - since I believe that Ivo is alive and that he was sent to the past, landing on Little Planet due to the temporal properties of the place - to kill the hedgehog.

What changed was Amy. And I'm not talking about her personality.

I believe that Amy's core will remain the same as in the games: kind, loving, gentle, adventurous, a daredevil who hates the mundane life, merciful and basically the representation of unconditional love in the series. As we saw in the Christmas special.

What would change would be the circumstances around her.

Because I believe Amy Rose's character will be based on: "What if the event where Little Planet was taken over by Robotinik and Metal happened...but Sonic wasn't there? What if these two angry antagonists had this power but not the intended target? What if Amy went through everything she went through without ever having met Sonic in the first place?"

The truth is Sonic will always win.

But what if he wasn't there to face these two? What if the events that led Amy and Sonic to meet happened...in a universe where they never met?

Sonic's absence turns Metal's entire threat to Amy from a simple dirty trick to nightmare fuel.

In the movies, she'd never meet Sonic at the time of Ivo and Metal's invasion of Little Planet (which here would be her home planet) because this mess would only happen because Eggman became a temporal anomaly, starting an invasion that never existed in the original past and creating a new sequence of events that would literally be a timeline of a Bad Future.

In the games and the special, Amy knows that Metal is a creation of Robotinik to defeat Sonic and that her kidnapping was just a way for him to achieve the target of his programming and although the robot is bad, she knows that he will come back regardless of what she does because Robotinik will always rebuild him.

Above all, Amy sees him being defeated. As he is no match for the real Sonic. In the movies, Amy know nothing about Metal. She doesn't know who he is made in the image of, why or if he can be defeated.

Not only that, without Sonic in the scene, it's very likely that Metal captured Amy for a much more direct and personal reason.

All aliens with quills seem to have an affinity for Chaos Energy, and hedgehogs more than anyone else. A very valuable resource for Robotinik, without a doubt. I believe it was because Ivo captured her Chaos Energy, with the idea of taking advantage of Amy's powers - which I bet is the ability to manipulate time and see futures - to further improve the robot army.

Since Metal, even though it was made in the image of Sonic and one of his quills, also works on the basis of pink chaos energy.

(original gifset)

And now Amy went from a girl who knew she wasn't the real target, and who had a hero to rescue her, to a victim of experimentation and exploitation by a domineering madman she knows nothing about with a weapon that is virtually impossible to destroy.

Not only that, she is more reminiscent of Sonic's position in the games because now Amy also has a place alongside him as the one who fights Metal, since he's now empowered with her chaos energy as well.

The energy whose that only the original generator can combat with minimal damage. Like Sonic and Ivo in Sonic 1, Knuckles in the series and Shadow surviving the ray with his own energy. Amy would now have part of the responsibility for the defeat of this machine.

Even if it doesn't work a 100% because although he has some of her abilities, Metal Sonic's image is not built on Amy. She doesn't have the necessary skills to defeat Metal, only to delay him at best. Rivaling and winning even temporarily against him (probably with her vision of the future).

Amy isn't Sonic. She needs him if she wants to win and ironically she's going to have Fate-ish lead her to him anyway.

Except she doesn't know that here. Because she's never seen him in her life. As far as Amy knows, she's been trying and failing in a fight where Little Planet and now Earth depend only on her until she meets Sonic, seeing the boy become the image of the robot she's been fighting for years...and a light at the end the tunnel.

This robot and its creator invaded, colonized and destroyed her home, were responsible for sending him to Earth as a refugee - after she probably escaped alone or with help (traumatic either way) - and have been chasing her to this day, making her fight for her own freedom and that of others for years.

So yeah, the girl saw tragedy enough in the hands of this robot to have a flick of compassion to him.

[shirubae]

WHY was Blaze in Sonic 06?

In my analysis of Sonic 06 I promised not to touch lore or canon. But this single question has plagued me for years, and I can't run from it any longer: why was Blaze in the future with Silver in Sonic 06? It literally keeps me up at night. It is a core moment in her identity, yet it remains one of the biggest unaddressed mysteries in the series.

To answer this question, we must also answer: who is Blaze? She's a princess from another world. Easy, right?

Buckle up. Forget everything you know. This is a long one.

Blaze's Debut

Let's step back in time. The year is 2005.

Blaze debuted in Sonic Rush, which released on November 15, 2005. She was created by the game's writer and director, Akinori Nishiyama, as a contrasting character to Sonic. It introduced Blaze as a cat from another world who is the guardian of the Sol Emeralds.

Fun fact: Blaze being a princess was originally a twist! Nothing in Sonic Rush ever indicates that Blaze is a princess - no dialogue, no supplementary material - until the very end of Extra Story where she mentions her duties as a princess while she heads home.

How crazy is that? When you hear about Blaze nowadays, you're like "oh duh the princess" but she was not always known as such! More importantly, this is the first example of Blaze's identity being a mystery.

Blaze Returns

Blaze's next appearance was in Sonic 06, which released on November 14, 2006, exactly one year later. This game depicted Blaze as the curt companion of Silver, fighting Iblis in a destroyed future of Sonic's world. Huh? Yes. The game never mentions her alternate dimension nor the Sol Emeralds. Blaze is Silver's well-dressed friend now. You think that's confusing today? Try being a kid who just got to know her in Sonic Rush a year prior.

Because of how the game treats Blaze, some fans assumed that Sonic 06 was a reboot of the series, or that it was at least retconning Blaze's backstory into her being a denizen of the future alongside Silver. There are zero official sources to support this rumor, but it gained traction anyway, and people started citing it as gospel. It's wrong.

Blaze's official Sonic 06 backstory can be found in other sources, like the official websites and the Japanese manual. They are pretty consistent with Rush: she's from another dimension and guards the Sol Emeralds (despite their total absence in this game). None of them say she was born in the future.

The English website calls her a "queen". Close enough, it indicates that Blaze is still royalty in this game.

However, there's also some odd details, like her wearing a cape, so it may come from an early draft of Sonic 06's plot and not be entirely accurate. Maybe they were planning on her royalty being more important than it ended up (I theorize that it's why she could absorb Iblis where Silver failed).

Let's wrap up the princess thing. The first game to obviously establish Blaze as a princess was Sonic Rush Adventure, which released another year later on September 14, 2007. Blaze being a princess is brought up a lot because it is a pivotal fact in her character arc in this game.

Around the same time, fans noticed that Blaze doesn't seem to recognize Sonic at all in Sonic 06. In their only scene together in Kingdom Valley, she doesn't say a word. If this is the same Blaze from Rush, why doesn't she know him? (Mind you, Sonic doesn't acknowledge her either). This discrepancy only fuels the "future Blaze" rumor, and it's still never been properly explained. Despite being discussed again and again, we haven't had a clear answer. So, let's at least go over the answers that we have received.

Takashi Iizuka at Sonic Boom

Takashi Iizuka is the current (2024) head of Sonic Team. He's worked on many games in the series, though notably not Sonic 06 nor Rush. Still, during the Q&A panel at the live event Sonic Boom 2012, one of the many fan-submitted questions requested he clarify some lore regarding Silver and Blaze.

Here's a transcript, since the crowd in the video is pretty loud:

Speaker: "Iizuka-san, can you please clear up the story of Silver, Blaze, and Eggman Nega? Are they from an alternate dimension, or the future? Not to mention, in Sonic Rush, Sonic Rivals, and Sonic 2006, they all know each other, but in Sonic Colors, they've never met?"

Takashi Iizuka (via translator): "So, everyone probably already knows this... but Silver and Eggman Nega are from the future, and Blaze is from an alternate dimension. That's the official story. But in 2006, basically what happened was everyone kind of had like, amnesia. That's how that kind of played out."

The guy was put on the spot to answer a big question regarding two characters from games that he didn't even work on, plus the translation barrier! He handled it well, all things considered. This at least debunked the "future Blaze" rumor, but it didn't answer why she was in the future in the first place. Let's check another source...

Shiro Maekawa on Twitter

Shiro Maekawa is a former Sonic game writer who worked on the Shadow and Silver Episodes for Sonic 06 (but not Rush). This means he wrote for Blaze; naturally, some curious fans have reached out to him with questions. His responses may give us some insights into what was intended with her in 06.

First of all, Maekawa confirmed that he intended to connect Rush to 06. He's said this in multiple tweets. What exactly he means isn't totally clear.

A fan once made a neat tumblr post delving into this connection; I don't totally agree with everything said, especially the "future Blaze" stuff, but it's definitely a valuable perspective (unfortunately the author has deleted their blog after harassment... good job guys).

He also says that he intended for the place that Blaze gets sent to in Silver Episode to be her alternate dimension. That makes sense; just sending her home! But he admits that his ideas are not official, so it's up to Sonic Team to decide.

Furthermore, Maekawa supports the theory that Iblis remains sealed within Blaze's soul to this day. Fans have taken it a step further by theorizing that the reason Blaze can become Burning Blaze is because of her connection to Iblis - this makes sense, given the fiery aura and the fact that Blaze briefly goes Burning in the cutscene when she absorbs it. If that theory is true, and she goes Burning in Rush, then it would force 06 to be a prequel to Rush.

Since it's confirmed Blaze isn't from the future in 06, she must have gotten sent there somehow - maybe by the Sol Emeralds? They do teleport her on their own in Rush. That would mean Blaze hasn't met Sonic yet, so she has nothing to say to him. Then in the ending, she forgets everything and goes home, later meeting Sonic for real in Rush. Boom, easy! For a long time, this placement in the timeline seemed fair.

There was a tiny hole: an unused audio file of Blaze dialogue in 06.

Blaze says: "Sonic...?", expressing familiarity with the blue blur. So maybe she did know who he was...? It's not clear. And it's unused, so it technically shouldn't count, but it does raise some alarms. On the other hand, this game also has the "Book of Darkness" and "head to Wave Ocean" bloopers, so maybe its audio files aren't to be trusted. Problem solved?

No. Not until a certain someone speaks...

Ian Flynn on Bumblekast

Ian Flynn went from writing the Archie Sonic comics, to the IDW comics, and now the games. He's been working on Sonic properties for a very long time, and is even consulted as part of the mythical "Sonic lore team" at Sega-Sammy. Those folks work on piecing together the canon, including the chaos of 06's timeline placement (imagine being paid to write stuff like this lmao).

This means he receives lore knowledge from on high, from the top dogs at Sonic Team. At the moment it's fairly secretive, but on Ian's Q&A podcast, the Bumblekast, he often lets fans in on tidbits.

What Ian has shared so far supports a lot of theories discussed with Maekawa. He has entirely confirmed that Blaze went Burning Blaze as she absorbed Iblis and went home, and has dubiously confirmed that she still has Iblis in her soul (he doubts it will ever be brought up again).

But the prophet has spoken: Sonic 06 is officially set after Rush in the timeline. Say what you will about Ian's writing or understanding of the characters; like it or not, he's received this info from Sonic Team. So, our timeline theory is debunked.

Ian even acknowledges that there are plot holes with this timeline placement, like why Blaze and Sonic ignored each other in Kingdom Valley, and why she didn't think to find her old friends for help. But he has no say over it. He'll just have to find a way to write around it, I guess.

He also acknowledges that Blaze's presence in the future and partnership with Silver are still completely unexplained, and he hopes to eventually touch on it... But he also states that there is an official reason why Blaze was in Silver's future. I'll write his quote here for reference:

Ian Flynn: "Here's the thing: working on something else, I actually did get a straight answer, and it was frustratingly simple. And it's like, 'that works, okay.' No, I can't get into it, that's all private work stuff but maybe it'll come to light, eventually. But there is an answer, and it works, and I kinda feel dumb for not thinking of it."

So it's currently classified. Where does that leave us? "That greedy Ian is selfishly sitting upon a hoard of gold, hiding his secrets from us!" "Ian is a filthy American, he has no idea what he's talking about!"

Well, we can guess to our heart's content. There are a few theories:

Maybe the will of the Sol Emeralds sent Blaze to help Silver. The strings of fate pulled her so she could help guide him and eventually absorb Iblis. This one is the most sentimental, so I like it...

Maybe Blaze got caught time-traveling during a fight with Eggman Nega, and was flung into the future. This would explain why Ian found it "frustratingly simple" (he hates Eggman Nega lol).

Maybe at the end of Rush, Blaze couldn't get back home from the Exception zone; instead, she ended up lost in Silver's future due to space-time shenanigans. Nothing in her ending truly confirms that she ever made it back home. Pretty simple.

These still don't explain why she and Sonic didn't recognize each other, but we have to just let Ian deal with that one lol.

Conclusion

Our best course of action is to wait. In many of the clips I've linked, Ian regularly expresses interest in addressing Blaze's mysteries in an issue of IDW comics or a TailsTube episode. We also know that Evan Stanley, a fellow comic artist-turned-writer, is a big fan of Blaze and Silver (check out her "Ghosts of the Future" fan-comic). Our cries for the truth do not fall on deaf ears.

Ultimately, Sega-Sammy will choose whatever is most profitable. They are a business operating in capitalism. If revisiting Silver and Blaze's backstory is somehow a good business decision, they will allow it. If it's not... they won't.

The "Fearless: Year of Shadow" campaign has given me hope. Its success is hopefully proving to Sega-Sammy that fans do care about characters besides the main Team Sonic, and that mysteries and lore of the past can be addressed in games like Sonic X Shadow Generations. Whether it results in more leniency with using the extended cast in future games, such as Blaze and Silver, remains to be seen. Maybe the two need to be teased in a movie before they can get more attention lol. But I have hope that one day, my patience will have paid off, and I can update this article with the official truth of the matter.

Patience and direction: that's what Blaze offered Silver in Sonic 06. She supported him through his recklessness, stabilized him, and reminded him of what he was fighting for. But she also loved his passion, his drive for peace, and value of the truth. She loved how "naive" he was in the face of his seemingly impossible mission.

We fans are all a little naive. So for now, let's just wait and see.

UPDATE: Just checking in, it's been a while. The truth still has yet to be revealed. First of all, the Sonic Channel timeline came out and confirmed more than ever that Rush happens before 06. However, I've come across an interesting idea from the IDW comics.

At this point, Sonic was just thrust across dimensions by the climax of the Metal Virus arc, and has ended up in Blaze's dimension with no memory. This plot point always seemed a little odd to me - obviously it's meant to echo the Mr. Tinker plot, but it gets resolved in two issues. Kind of a strange blip.

However, it does propose a hypothesis for why Blaze acted the way she did in 06: maybe she lost her memories! This story establishes that crossing dimensions can result in temporary memory loss, although it doesn't explore the idea very much. Maybe it only happens if one is sent across dimensions by force? We'll still have to wait and see how Blaze got to Silver's future before we can conclude anything, but it's something to consider for now.

[iridescentdove]

can you do a continuation of full power Lumine with Fyodor, Sigma, and Ranpo. I feel like Fyodor would interested because of how complicated she is and how he would have a hard time understanding something for the for the first time I’m assuming. Same goes for Ranpo. I think he would be exiting too because the traveler is always willing to help and his type is someone that spoils him. For Sigma I feel like he would understand her in a way because he is a supernatural being that came into existence under interesting circumstances. And he would have someone to help him because we all know how the Decay Of Angels is I would also feel unsafe 24/7 😭

feel free to take your time if you have a lot of requests! (this was longer than I anticipated)

Fyodor, Sigma & Ranpo x Lumine! Reader

Hi! ♡ I'm quickly zooming through requests to make up for the time lost in my absence lol. Lumine is skeptical but shares the same curiosity her twin has for everything, she's rational and courageous, along with being generous and helpful towards others that need assistance. And most especially, rather beautiful and somewhat quiet, yet considered rather expressive.

As if a primordial being – Lumine holds power able to destroy worlds and travel through them with ease, and yet, most of it having been sealed away by the Unknown God's own bidding. What happens when she regains her full power and travels through the world of BSD?

Soukoku, Jouno & Atsushi Ver.

FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY:

You're a strange new specimen, and he actually finds interest in you. Plus – Fyodor actually likes pretty people, so seeing you for the first time is actually surprising.

Who knew someone so beautiful in this world existed 🗿

But honestly, although this man can read you like book if he wanted to, that's not happening.

You're rather complicated. Like no fr. You're pretty and small as hell, but you're so fucking strong hello? And you're not very talkative yet so expressionable it's alluring

He has no idea what to think, but all he knows is that he wants to keep you around.

The fact you're helpful draws him to you more. He learns to trust you overtime, and you have no ulterior motives when you go warm him up and make him feel comfortable.

Whenever he needs help or basically just you spoiling him and comforting from his anemia, that's cloud 9 ok idfc

He's starting to really ... really like you and I don't

You're basically everything he'd want tbh. Since you're from a different world, his ability probably don't work on you.

And just be glad it doesn't honestly. You're like God level strong and rather smart yourself, so he isn't bored and actually finds you worthy of being with him.

Well even if you weren't, you'd be an interesting playtoy on it's own. Please let me punch him already.

He'll have you run errands and do different things to go according to his plans, but he doesn't tire you out or anything because he still pretty much cares.

BRO this guy reminds me of the Fatui idk 💀

Dude is fuckin unhinged, commits warcrimes, hot and is very strong. You can't tell me he's literally the emobidiment of the harbingers in an alternate world lmfao

Even though he's a red flag you don't really care 'cause you can kill him whenever you want. Slayyy girlboss.

One of the rare times he'd take his ushanka off, and put it on your head because you're just too adorable to resist. The innocent, curious look on your face afterwards sends him.

You're a cute, complicated being he's just addicted to.

He's rather amused himself – so whenever you're like beating up Dazai or something (much to his satisfaction), he's watching in the back with his popcorn or sumn.

Probably smirking the entire time. He loves you more now

Imagine Dazai being Childe and that weekly boss you always fucking destroy every week? Peak comedy.

He probably won't even bother trying to fight against you, man knows his place so he gets humbled. But that probably won't stop him from testing you a few times.

He'll purposely get you in a tricky situation so he can observe more of you, and you'll never fail to surpass his expectations every time.

P.S. expect yourself to beat up Nikolai often. His orders lol

Rat king's actually found his match <3 fuck you

RANPO EDOGAWA:

You probably crash landed in the agency or smth. How would I know that?

I'm the writer, bitch /hjq

Now let's say both of you were just acquaintances at first, you'd help around the agency a lot though. And that also includes him.

So here we are! At this point, you're basically just spoiling him from all the help that you give.

He doesn't even mind he fucking loves it I bet

Other than Atsushi, he now drags you with him to go and buy candy, or just makes you go out and do it yourself. Either way the candy is bought so 🤷🏻

Dw babe he shares it with you <3

Must I say you're pretty once more? It's not even annoying bro I am SPEAKING FACTS stan lumine

Ranpo is very interested in you and your specie, if he ever got bored he'd probably take breaks away from doing some cases and listens to your talking.

Will get extremely invested in the world of Teyvat, learning more about it.

DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT HEIZOU

"Hehe! Number one detective you say? Even more so than I am~? After all, I am the greatest detective in the world!"

We get it babe.

Like if you ever honestly tried to put them both together in Poe's book it is very obvious who will come out first. Bro will legit rub it in your face too, not even cap

Oh, speaking of which – he'd probably invite you into one of them too. It would be a fun hangout ... maybe.

You're the bodyguard that fucks up any murderer tryna get to him while he deals with the shit and puts his glasses on then DAMN BITCH we boutta go usain bolt on this shit.

It doesn't even take that long. You guys did it in a heartbeat.

Ranpo honestly adores you, that much you can tell. He likes mostly everything about you and finds you so entertaining.

Especially your expressions which are peak comedy.

Definitely the type to do something real smart and show off his skills so he could see your reaction.

And maybe even get a bit of praise. You know this guy loves it when you compliment him and agree with things that he says. That's already fulfilling his heart.

I'd say you'd help him out a lot honestly, the ADA is basically the adventurers guild 💀

You'd be relaxing and having a chill time until Ranpo or some other member comes up and tells you to fucking beat up Mori or something

Yeah. They entrust it all to your capable hands.

But of course, Ranpo wouldn't leave you alone with that. You both make great teamwork in all cases.

Right after each remotely easy to borderline difficult case, Ranpo will be a sweetheart and take you out somewhere nice to relax. His treat.

kisses in the ferris wheel pls

It's already easy enough to tell, but you can see all the affection in his eyes as the night comes to an end once more. More than that, even.

It's such a cute sight. But honestly, who could even say no to this guy? It's literally Ranpo.

SIGMA:

So here you've already been in the world of bsd for a while and you're just doing random bullshit the agency adventurers guild gives you.

Mersault arc timeskip. Dazai off sucking and teaming up with some Nakahara toes, Nikolai being a material gworl

Fyodor is mimicking Odasaku's ashes

And obviously you're here in the back forced to do everything yourself because shit goes down 🔥

You have a pretty good knowledge on yourself in this world you're stuck in again, and it's necessary to use that info to your disposal because wow, the situation is complicated.

Especially during this arc now, but it's less difficult when you're only focusing on the DOA.

We'll say you only be familiar with the different organizations because you often go around a lot and travel.

Then meet various people and ... fight over half of them 😐

By this time, you and Sigma have been well acquainted. Due to his ability, he managed to get info about you easily. And boy does he use that to advantage.

Asked begged you to help him out in the DOA.

Look man he's suffering, don't leave babygworl all alone with all these gay men who're too broke to afford proper therapy sessions

Don't worry Sigma, we're here for you <3

By now you had no idea what was happening, just getting random info from everyone around you

Moving place to place (teleport waypoints are real handy right about now), collecting random shit and beating up enemies along the way

Classic genshin ripoff moment :/

Although you don't actually do a lot of stuff for the DOA, it's mostly personal mishaps coming from Sigma. Because no we don't want to be a wanted terrorist tf

So you soon arrived at mersault and saw poor Sigma either dead or unconscious.

Bro is in need of tevyat fried eggs

Anyways, you of course could not LEAVE him out of your sight after that. The one time you thought it was okay to stay out of business ... that happened 🤡

Sigma was indeed alive, but at the same time it wasn't okay to leave him since he was barely clinging on.

By the time he awoke, he thought he saw heaven. He frantically sits up from bed.

Oh wait, it was just you <3

You brought him back to the sky casino, as he was resting at a safe distance away from the three psychopaths in jail

You guys do end up having to go back much to his dismay, although this time it felt more safer because you were around. He's down deep and he can't return.

Sigma really likes you. Not because you're helpful and quite beautiful, but strong and empathetic in a sense both of you relate to various things.

He's seriously lucky to have you, his little shooting star ❤️

[lightdancer1]

One of the most important things with how I write Willow in fanfic and with the canon character, too:

Is that I look at the Buffyverse slightly differently than most. Yes, it's absolutely an allegory show about growing up and the monsters and supernatural forces at one level are literal metaphors, that's how Whedon wrote it. In fanfiction I don't care because I'm not plagiarizing Whedon's notes, I'm doing my own stories with my own themes.

And yet even in Whedon's own sandbox the setting is ultimately a superhero show in the vein of Blade, Werewolf by Night, or the Creature Commandos. The Slayers are empowered messianic superheroes standing against very literal demons and fighting them in the dead of night. And in this regard, Willow's an Outside Genre character, because her arc is very literally a classic superhero narrative.

It is, ultimately, *these* narratives, the hero amassing enormous power, that going to her head, and very bad things following from it. The supporting character sidekick becomes immensely more powerful than the regular hero to a point that you literally cannot fight Dark Willow. Unlike Kid Miracleman or the Dark Phoenix she doesn't go for anywhere near the scale of atrocities....because she was stopped at the last minute.

Willow Rosenberg, in both Seasons 6 and 7, has the power to remake the world. First, for evil, and burning it to a cinder at the end of Season 6 (and I will always be confused why killing Warren is the bigger point against her and not the almost wrecking the world and having Xander talk her out of it in the literal last five seconds on the Doomsday Clock, hypothetical resurrected Tara would be much angrier about the almost destroying the world thing than killing Warren and would be right to be).

Then for good.

Treating this as, essentially 'characters never understand what genre they're in' works as the broadest single element here. They're all in a superhero story, they get that to a point. What they don't get is that it's none of the Slayers who have the classical superhero narrative, it's *Willow*, whose entire experience loops into the most classical comic book narratives and where she very much does match comics Jean Grey, who starts off as a mid telepath and telekinetic, grows greatly in power, then killed off a planet by eating its star for fueling that power growth as the Dark Phoenix.

It shapes everything about her, both the irony that the most powerful being in the setting is shaped by crippling self-loathing that leads her to put all her worth and value into her relationships with the people around her, which makes her amazingly sweet, adorable, and loving at her best and becomes horrifying very fast if a gear slips even slightly. Willow with that identical power and even a marginal degree of emotional health would be a completely different character and essentially straight up 'Jean Grey if she was magic.'

It is the absence of any emotional center or self-worth (at least until she gets her shit together in the comics, which as I've written before is the Willow the Tara we see in the show deserved but due to having her emotions together would not be a Willow she'd actually want entirely and there'd be major issues about that) and colossal amounts of power that form the basic dichotomy that makes her work.

Too much of the discourse around her, ironically, hinges on the same things that lead into her faults, much as most Tara discourse relies on the same 'Tara is meant to fix everyone's booboos, uWu' thought that in a darker, uglier sense was the very mentality her biological family had for her that the character rightfully fled from even knowing she was going into a Hellmouth and what that meant for her.

And in the fanfics, accordingly, where I write her, I tend to use a narrative trick where the stories are Willow-centric but the main POV character is ultimately Tara with her actions seen through the eyes of others and only intermittent glimpses of her psyche (usually the kind, at that, that show that her friends have completely wrong views of why she does things to note that the results of these misunderstandings are....explosive...much like happens in the show, except writing lets you do things differently to visual media). Willow is extremely smart and extremely powerful, and even before that power grew she had friends to help her escape the more dangerous situations she tended to get into, while being reliable hostage bait was incentive all by itself to start developing that power.

It's also a stealth meta-commentary in that Tara, in the canon show, is deeply codependent on Willow at great expense of her own health and never really changes this or considers that she probably should even after the breakup. Tara's broader interest in the setting has Willow-colored glasses, while her greater grasp of mystical theory + less power means that there's both greater tension and ability to neatly do the 'as you know' factor in a perfectly justified way with a geeky nerd who'd collect trivia on magic.

This is also an emphasis that places how dangerous Willow can be as a front and center factor, while her friends going 'aww, she looks just like that girl from the movie with the line about the flute, she's adorable' right up until the 'holy shit this is scary' moment happens is right in line with what we see in the show. Alyson Hannigan as an actress is typecast, but it's a type that has layers and lets her show her skills, because the type is 'adorable person with some deeply toxic traits' in two flavors.

Willow, the good person with very toxic traits she struggles against and starts to grow out of it, and Lily, the completely toxic person with a good veneer who never does grow out of things and is a slimy manipulator trying to puppeteer her friends' lives.

[woodandwaxwings]

Army Dreamers (mphfpc x male reader)

takes place in the Roommates universe but could be read as a one off.

War was hell on earth. In their world secluded from humanity, even before their loop, war had aged them just as much as time. It hurt them all differently, maybe that had more to do with their familial bond than the peculiar blood they all shared. There were the twins, two peculiar boys who never spoke, one would never know if it was because of their powers or because of the atrocities they witnessed in the orphanage. Claire, a beautiful young girl with golden skin and equally golden hair. A girl just slightly more outspoken than the mute twins. Being around the same age the three tended to stick to one another, the youngest in the loop physically, even if Claire was nearer with Enoch in mental age. Enoch, a boy filled with sass who preferred his seclusion with his golems (and Horace though he would never dare to say it). The world was a hard place right then, especially for an outspoken boy like Enoch.

Moving up in physical age, there was Horace, Millard, Y/n, and Victor. Horace, a boy tortured by the visions of the future he had during this time of war, was uncharacteristically happy and proper for his peculiarity. Though, being on the older side mentally, it was assumed he had learned how to separate what was the ever-changing future and what was the present. Millard, a boy who enjoyed attention as much as the next person, as long as that person was an extrovert, cursed with invisibility. A boy who always yearned to be seen hidden from sight due to a generational gift. Y/n, a boy whose imagination literally bursts from his skin. Ink littered his flesh in beautiful illustrations, an early action done so that he wouldn't be his own undoing. Where would his daydreams leave him if he didn't have a focused outlet? Victor, the boy with exceptional strength, peculiar strength. But time eats all her children in the end, and Victor's end came before anyone expected. His death left a darker void of mourning amongst Y/n and Bronwyn.

The oldest of them physically were Bronwyn, Olive, Hugh, and Emma. Abe had left them long ago to fight in the normal's war, his wish to be like them overtaking his want for the family he had gained in the home. Bronwyn was much like her brother, with exceptional strength. Her brother's death turned her joyous personality into a venomous sarcasm. Olive and Hugh were a happy pair, despite Olive's muteness from the horrors she had seen; it seemed every time the day had been restarted, Hugh did nothing but love her even more. Emma stuck to her letters that Abe had sent her in his absence, at least until Jacob arrived. Each child, each of their tales, as emotionally complex as the last, would take a toll on anybody. But Jacob was different; he was untainted by the horrors a peculiar person had to face growing up. He was youthful in his naivety, and his sass was something to fill the Abe-shaped hole in their family.

And it did. Each and every one of them was emotionally ruined as the last. But everything ends, even what is meant to be eternal. Anything good that the kids found in that loop was destroyed the moment wights stepped foot into their sacred hole. Now, they all carried the burden of blood on their hands. Some more than others, and some more a direct cause of the bloodshed than others. They had all seen things, done things to survive. They had all known war, but this war seemed to carry a heavier burden than the ones they had known before. And now here they were, in Florida, alive and expected to live a normal life. Some took to their new lives better than others. Claire particularly had easily become accustomed to modern life. As expected, Bronwyn and Y/n were still stuck under their eternal cloud of grief that they barely seemed to notice the change, gliding through the 21st century as if nothing had changed, because for them, emotionally, nothing had.

The rest of them had ended up falling somewhere in the middle of the spectrum that the three of them displayed. It took time, but Enoch became accustomed to the more open society. Using the newfound welcomeness to those who were different to finally face his feelings for Horace. The modern times were like a breath of fresh air, and it didn't take long for even Bronwyn to break out of her shell. It seemed all of them were growing into their new home, all but Y/n, that is. It seemed all he did over those summer months was sit on the back porch and watch Olive and Hugh garden when he wasn't staring at the flyer for Nevermore from 1943. It was the only thing he managed to salvage from their loop, well, the only thing of Victor's. It seemed every passing day he yearned more and more to leave the southern sunny state and go to the one place his deceased love yearned for them to flee to. Perhaps it was him just wanting to hold onto his past and flee in his own mind, or perhaps it was a chance to move on, to do what he had promised he would do and finally become a person outside of his grief.

[microwave-core]

(CONTROVERSIAL OPINION) hear me out pls, ai sada headcanons. she needs more love than the real one, and i will die with this.

I understand, anon. TBH AI Sada, unfortunately, is better than real Sada in canon, because I'm not there to fix her. Anyways, let me think of some things to say.

(obligatory L Sada)

Setting up a scenario here is a bit odd. Realistically, if AI Sada were to be in love with someone, it would probably be someone Sada herself was in love with, since the AI has all of her memories and feelings. Which feels a little weird. Imagine you have a lover and you learn that they died in a freak accident but they also have an AI counterpart who is also in love with you. Anyways-

It's hard to think of what to say, because I think the two are pretty similar all things considered. In my mind, AI Sada is just Sada before she flew off the rails and only cared about the time machine, so many of my regular Sada headcanons could still apply. The biggest difference is that AI Sada is aware of how the real one neglected you for so long, and desperately wants to make up for that lost time.

She knows how much you care for the real Sada, and how hurt you are when she started to pull further and further away from both you and her son. Hell, maybe she even tries to push the real one to reach out at some point when she's still alive, to reconnect before your relationship collapsed completely, but it was too late at that point.

In her place, AI Sada sends little texts and messages your way. She wants to do more, she really does, but she just can't bring herself to do it. She's afraid, in a sense. She loves you so much, so very very much, but she's not really the person you love. I mean, she literally is, but you aren't aware of that. You don't know you're speaking to the AI counterpart of your lover who has since gone crazy over dinosaurs.

She tries to do the same for Arven, but he never responds to her. The occasional random text doesn't make up for the real Sada's absence. AI Sada knows this, and she doesn't blame him, but what else is she to do? What else can she do?

As much as she wants to reach out, to be with you and Arven both, to be apart of the family the real Sada so callously abandoned, she can't. Her hands are tied. When she's left alone in Area Zero, she has no choice but to fully devote herself to destroying the time machine before things get out of control. It simply has to be her top priority. If she can't be with you both, the least she can do is protect the world you live in, keep you safe.

When she finally sees Arven, when she sees him in person for the first time, she reminds him of how much Sada loved both him and you, that the real Sada cared for you two so much, but is careful to leave out her own feelings.

Now, to make things a bit fluffier, we can say she doesn't fuck off to the distance past. When things settle down, and you learn the truth of what happened to your lover, she feels more comfortable with her feelings for you. She knows that she isn't the same person you fell in love with, but she'd gladly take her place if you'd have her.

Even though she has all of Sada's memories, AI Sada feels like she's experiencing everything for the first time when she's with you. She knows what it is like to be around you, to hold you and kiss you and whisper sweet nothings, but doing so herself just feels so... different. So liberating and free. Wonderful. It would make her heart flutter if she had one. As a result, she is a bit clumsier than the real one, at least at first.

She also isn't as affectionate. It's not that she doesn't want to shower you in love and praise, or that she doesn't want to receive some in return, she's just a bit more... reserved. A bit held back. Unsure, even. This is all unfamiliar territory to her, give her time to get her bearings in order.

I'm gonna be real with you, I don't think she's the most comfortable to be around, physically speaking. She looks human, sure, but she is, in fact, made of metal. She's not the nicest to cuddle, or hug, or even kiss, but she tries. It's a little hard and strange to adjust to, but you can get used to it in time. It's charming, in a sense.

She also doesn't have human needs, just maintenance on occasion. For the sake of scenario, let's just say she's not confined to the Area Zero lab and is instead free to join in the regular world. Living with a robot is weird. Without needs of her own, she often does things just for you.

Like, as an example, she doesn't need to sleep. She's a robot, she needs to recharge, not sleep. Still, she's more than happy to lie down with you in bed at the end of the day, to keep you company. Sometimes she goes into sleep mode, but other times she stays up, combing artificial fingers through your hair so delicately, as if you'd crumble under her touch.

Cooking is something she can do, but she's not the best on account of not being able to taste anything. She enjoys it, though. She's honestly do anything for you, if nothing but to see you smile. She also likes to watch you eat, which can be a bit awkward since she just sort of stares. I guess that's how I'd describe AI Sada as a lover; Awkward, but charming.

Also, I hate to say it, but I don't think this is a robot you can outright fuck. I'm sorry robot fuckers, I really am, but I don't think Sada equipped her AI counterpart with a neo pussy. You can, however, get railed by the robot. If you want. As a little treat.

[spookythesillyfella]

Spooky.. I'm BORED and I don't know what to talk about so I'm going to ask YOU personally if you have any song you feel like discussing/dissecting? It can be literally ANYTHING you'd like :D Even if you need to write a whole lot it's truly whatever I'm just super eager to hear about something talk about something HELP I'M SORRY YOU CAN IGNORE THIS ASK COMPLETELY I DON'T MIND!! I love you very much <3 !!!! I FEEL WEIRD SENDING THIS I'M BAD AT APPROACHING INBOXES

AGAIN don't feel forced.. I don't wanna bother you >_< I know I've asked this before and you've delivered I just don't want to keep pestering you about your interests if you don't want it!!

uhmm ... i do have quite a few songz that id REALLY REALLY love to talk about eventually ...

specifically "Farewell Human Relations" – Dobuno Awa with either hv! shrig or brendy . and "Now Our Fates Intertwine" – Dobuno Awa with hv! sketch n tony . but every time id wanted to make a proper analyziz of thoze songz i feel like i just end up falling short ; maybe im getting too dumb to analyze dobuno awa'z songz at thiz point – maybe ive become so stupid that even a simple song analyziz iz hard to write haha

buut . unsurprizingly . i do have a song that id like to talk about unrelated to high voltage – and it would come az no shock in the slightest that itz from the You will never forget me seriez

"An Unfamiliar Successor" – Dobuno Awa [y'know !! the song where itoguchi getz introduced !! :DD]

look . the beginning lyricz of the song literally featurez backwardz text and i . being the idiot of all time . will NOT be racking my brain to try and figure out what it sayz ; im a lazy stupid man but i am free

"Spreading from one sound to another // Let's go to a colorful world" – soo yknow how itoguchi iz kinda sorta the personification of popoz grief [at least from my understanding of it] ? i think thiz iz her inviting popo to go through the process of grieving together – to guide her through it . so to speak

"Born and gone in the blink of an eye // Will such a thing destroy your faith?" – i think "faith" here referez to the faith popo iz to have in herzelf to keep going without michi being by her side anymore ; how popo shouldn't discard it all becauze of thiz traumatic event

"I will never forgive you!" – ill touch up more on thiz line in a bit ; for now . i want u to keep it in mind

"If we stop this right here and now // Then this will be pointless // She was a wonderful child // More so than anyone else" – az someone who doez still struggle a lot with processing their grief . i think thiz iz somewhat true ; if u don't live to remember the people uve lost . ure basically proving their exiztence worthlezz – u live to remember wonderful people . throwing it all away would be a disservice to all that they've done for u [or at least thatz how i see it]

"Now it's time for you to struggle // This is only the beginning // It's cruel // But this is my mission" – itoguchi here iz right again ; overcoming grief and the loss of a beloved perzon can be incredibly hard [and it can still be a long time after they've passed] and . while it iz cruel to make her suffer through all thiz . it iz her mizzion . and one that she mist bring to an end

"I recognized the voice close to my ear. Looking at the delayed video that played back, I instantly realized that it was her voice. Everywhere I looked there was always a screen that became my everyday and brought me color" – thiz iz just a fragment from the wall of text that beginz to rapidly flash on screen but i still think itz very meaningful ; when someone diez . itz like everything suddenly revolvez around them . or rather their absence – u see them everywhere . u hear them everywhere . and the reminder that they aren't anywhere only makez the pain worze . and it makez u search for them in everything all the more

"She was always smiling, and yet that smile always seemed forced. I'm here because she called out to me. I don't know why, but I intuitively understood that she called. I love her, and if it's for her, I could call for anyone" – and when someone diez . especially when they are the onez to terminate their own livez . u start picking up on the signz that led up to it ; u start to think "why . if only i noticed them sooner . i could have stopped all of thiz from happening !!" and . while i believe that iz a nice sentiment – to think ur wordz actually hold a lot of meaning and how support can go a long way . ultimately itz their decizion to go through with their suicide and u can't really do much to deter them from it . no matter what u try

"Even if that was someone who had hurt her. There is only one thing I can do. Hey, murderer, I'm right here. From now on, I'll be nearby, supporting you, since we're both connected to her. But please let me keep on talking about her, okay?" – again . ill get to talk about the symbolizm of thiz in just a tad ; pleaze put a pin in that

"If I can do that she'll never vanish, right? She wants you to never forget her. Though I believe you understand this better than anybody else. It's fine, there's no need to be afraid. Simply don't make any mistakes. Just live forever" – once again . michiz end goal waz that popo would never forget her ; if popo were to die az well . it would've all been for nothing

"But I won't forgive you. I will absolutely never forgive you" – and . with thiz az well stuck to our bulletin board . we can finally move onto my main game theory about thiz song and . more importantly . about itoguchiz character

i think itoguchi iz the perzonification of popoz grief over the loss of michi . just like how madoguchi waz the perzonification of michiz jealouzy towardz popo

i think that itoguchi conztantly calling popo a "murderer" iz popoz own perspective over herzelf – itz her who cauzed michiz suicide . itz her who couldn't save michi . itz her who made michi jealouz to begin with ; popo can never forgive herzelf for the fact michi killed herzelf and now the grief iz going to follow her forever . az long az she livez

and i say that alzo becauze theze two are pretty similar in trying to force the two to face their problemz head-on ; madoguchi tried to get michi to confront herzelf and to realize that her jealouzy over popo iz really just the hatred she holdz for herzelf and how popo haz no fault in thiz whatzoever . and itoguchi makez popo stomach all the memoriez of michi and how she iz never coming back . how shez gone forever and how popo now haz to learn how to cope with the lozz of her best friend

all in all . i think thiz song iz a great portrayal of the grief and guilt that comez with lozing a loved one . especially to suicide ; i really hope popo getz to heal and move on from thiz in future installmentz of the seriez . since i find her relationship with itoguchi to be a very interesting one . and that michiz memory can live on forever

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

GE: Manipulates Energy to change the world around it, leaving a net zero change

GP: Manipulates the Elements to Create/Destroy the world around it

Both are two different things that lead to the same end point

Void: Obliterates everything in comes into contact with, leaving an absence of Energy and no more Creation/Destuction

[REDACTED]: Stagnates the Elements? Instead of removing Energy it nullifies it?

An equal but opposite dichotomy, where both are completely different starting points that end with the same thing, an absence of energy and the halting of Creation/Destruction.

Also, how would GE/[Redacted] interact, would GE's energy be able to breathe life into the things Redacted stagnates? Would [Redacted] be able to turn living things into lifeless husks? And would that explain the Stone Army, some sort of people that had their life taken away and turned into forever warriors for the Overlord (although ig the Overlord wouldn't have [Redacted] by that point)

Also, is the spider guardian something to do with neurotoxin and paralysation?

Ooh, and one last thing. The Great Devourer was said to be corrupted by Garmadons Destructive Power. Could that be because of the "Void" inside the GD? The GD was made or at least corrupted by the Overlord, so when the GD came into contact with the Essence of Destruction, the "Void" within it, made by the Overlord, was then overidden by Destructive Power.

GE: Manipulates Energy to change the world around it, leaving a net zero change <- Correct!

GP: Manipulates the Elements to Create/Destroy the world around it <- Less correct, it utilizes Creation/Destruction to invoke a state of 'balance' (i.e. The FSM destroying the island to create a seal for the Overlord), wherein Creation/Destruction themselves depend upon the elements, but I guess its the same diff in the end. We dig deeper into this in Book 3/Book 4, I promise

Both are two different things that lead to the same end point <- LIKE A DOUBLE OUROBOROS or a cycle or something

Void: Obliterates everything in comes into contact with, leaving an absence of Energy and no more Creation/Destruction <- Correct! throwing things into a void and banish 'em to oblivion!!!

[REDACTED]: Stagnates the Elements? Instead of removing Energy it nullifies it? <- okay okay the 'stagnation' thing is mostly in regards to how constantly Energy/Life depends on being able to change its form to grow and adapt; [REDACTED] is...a more rigid structure, lending to its literal/metaphorical inability to change. Hence, stagnation (i.e. as Harumi herself struggles to adapt and change her mindset, to the point of trying the same deranged plan twice–)

An equal but opposite dichotomy, where both are completely different starting points that end with the same thing, an absence of energy and the halting of Creation/Destruction. <- Essentially, and ultimately, correct! If there is no cycle of Creation/Destruction, then there is no change, and if there is no change, then there is no Energy! Applicable to both Void and [REDACTED]

Also, how would GE/[Redacted] interact, would GE's energy be able to breathe life into the things Redacted stagnates? <- mAYBE

Would [Redacted] be able to turn living things into lifeless husks? <- BIGGER MAYBE

some sort of people that had their life taken away and turned into forever warriors for the Overlord (although ig the Overlord wouldn't have [Redacted] by that point) <- HOWEVER my dude u are literally describing what practically happens in CRYSTALIZED are you not?!?!? (which, yknow, would be a VERY fitting name for that exact process yOU KNOW?!?!!?) AAAAAA!!! AAAAAAA!?!?!!?! (/*-*)/

Also, is the spider guardian something to do with neurotoxin and paralysation? <- not inherently

And in the case of the GD, you're over-complicating things. The Overlord has nothing to do with the GD here (which in-show I cannot believe they tried to pull that in the ELEVENTH HOUR??!?!). Here, the GD only became insatiable and destructive due to Garmadon's Essence (throwing her out of balance and corrupting her, which goes back to the 'being overwhelmed' thing), and Garmadon became a megalomaniac due to his Oni blood reacting badly to the GD's venom. And that's the long and short of it!

[fellow-anime-weeb927]

Hii, I'm back. First off, I'm sorry about the request I send yesterday, I think? I didn't see the 'angst' under the 'don't do' 😭 🙇‍♀️but I'm back with a rant (I should pay you rent for staying in your asks this much- I can pay it with kaldo drawings 😭)

I recently checked the sons' ages and well- Doom, Fanim, Epidem and Delisaster were born with only 1 year of difference (also, the whole family was born of 11th of something- Innocent zero was a weird guy. He even shares birthday with Mash lol) and knowing that a pregnancy lasts 9 months there would be 4 months of non-pregnancy state with each of the 4 first sons (I calculated it- I needed to know if it was actually possible to pop out 4 kids in 4 years like that). Yes, they literally were born Doom-January, Fanim-February, Epidem-March and Delisaster-April (Domina was born in May, but Mash wanted to be different and was born in November 😭). There is a problem, Mash and Domina were born the same year, less than 9 months in between their birthdays. To which I can only find the excuses that, again, Mash wanted to be different and decided that he would be born premature lol (or they just speed up his birth, if mother was getting ill or her health was going down). Also, I checked how much each kid weights and I'm pretty sure Innocent zero starved them- BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN DOOM (who's 2 meters tall) WEIGHT ONLY 88KG??? THAT MF IS HUGE😭 My older brother (who's 25, 5 years younger than Doom, apparently) is like 1,80m and he weights 110kg😭 Domina (who's 1,76,i think) weights 68kg (that's around my weight, I'm 1,65± and 15 y/o). So, knowing that information I want to add that after mother fell into a coma, Innocent zero had more power over the sons so he starved them (bc before it was impossible. If they told mother that they wanted to eat, or even if they didn't, she gave them food and made sure they ate at least 3 times a day. Since she suffered a lot from starvation herself and almost every family member (all of her three brothers and her mom) died due to starvation), and it would also explain why tf Delisaster has such a thin waist.

It's also possible that, instead of her bearing the children in her womb, they just decided to mix their DNAs in an incubator of some sort. Innocent zero would say something that it wasn't necessary for her to bear them and that it wouldn't benefit neither of them, since he doesn't want for a strong ally to be unable to work for over 9 months and he read that it pregnancy can affect her health (again, that means that his ally will be weaker than before (imagine his reaction when she randomly falls into a coma after mash's 'birth'- and doesn't wake up for a long time). And mother would also prefer it by just mixing the DNAs (✨trauma✨, and probably not liking physical touch?). I'm also sure that after some time, Innocent zero would put some spell on mother just to keep her in the coma (let's say her necklaces worked only around itself and since it didn't cause any actual damage they weren't activated) so that he can manipulate the sons more. I also imagine them visiting her, maybe on their own birthdays or her birthday or just randomly showing up to check on her idk.

I also imagine that when Innocent zero is defeated by Mash and mother wakes up and gets context of everything that happened during her 'absence' (she really didn't care if the realm was destroyed since they didn't care about neither her or those similar to her), she would be mad with both Wahlberg and the divine visionaries (even though she didn't like the realm, she had some respect for Wahlberg when they were young bc he had good ambitions and she expected for him to at least try to make them reality) bc "what do you mean after 100 years the law against lackmagic is the fucking same and nothing changed? And then you dump it all onto a 15 y/o boy? Wtf" She would 100% slap Wahlberg in his face (and it's a good one, after all the sons didn't get the physical abilities from their father lol) and say that if they don't change things soon, she won't hesitate to start a revolution. I also don't know how would Mash react to his biological mother appearing out of nowhere. They would probably have a talk, at least and she would say that she won't interfere in his life unless he wants to and that he should contact Domina if he wants to talk with her or needs something from her, since she doesn't have a phone bc she was in a coma.

Also, after Innocent zero is defeated, I'm sure that the castle doesn't fall down, so as she wakes up she goes through it and sees all of her sons (or their remains) dead (Except Doom, since he did live after the battle with Mash) and she doesn't know the cause of it yet, but when she sees the 'arrows' that attacked Domina she would get the puzzle together that Innocent zero have killed at least one of her sons (she couldn't care less about the realm, but won't hesitate to hurt someone tenfold if they hurt her sons in the slightest), he would have had hurried to hunt that mf down, but tending to Doom's injuries is more of a priority at that time.

Anyway, I'm really sorry for that request, it was my bad. I would send a kaldo drawing as an apology, but I can't send photos when asking as anon🙇‍♀️ have a good time

-🎨anon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(original ask:)

A/n: dear anon you sure are discovering a whole lot oh my goodness- now that you explain the entire thing I’m like o_o I’m literally confused about the logic (but anime/manga logic am I right?-) so I’m not sure what to do about this, would you still want the ask?

[edensgaia]

Vod: "Dream Sequence! [Realm SMP] !realmlore !merch", 10 apr, Zam's stream

Some timestamps (very biased explanatios btw just so yk):

40min to 1h Ros and Zam <3

1h to like 1h40min Ros gives a tour of the castle to Zam Foolish Sneeg Fit and Derap. After Ros leaves everyone is talking about the minecraft movie while Zam grinds building levels lol

1h45min to 2h02min Zam Sneeg and Foolish testing tnt damage (Zam mentions how she doesn't want to destroy spawn because it would hurt Ros a lot of times)

2h02min40s Aimsey's got hit by a meteor. Zam and Pili help them patch the floor, Zam and Aimsey talk about dinosaurs

2h11min10s to 2h42min Ros is sad, Zam and Ros talk, Zam shows her the ice castle to cheer her up

2h42min 3h43min40s Zam works on her base, grinds building levels and gets more glass. ("Mapicc castle is my favorite build" 3h43min50s)

3h45min Zam walks in on Bad and Ros talking. Bad shoots Zam and says he confused her for a bunny rabbit

3h48min to 4h20 Zam grinds alchemy leves on green base, gets haunted (again) and talks about her lines on the first few unstable videos (in the last 5min I think)

4h20min to 5h20min Bad and Zam. Like in general (very /pos btw I loved they're interactions). The Herobrine snail is also there, Zam says she will be scared of it later if the snail helps her.

5h38min castle arc but more bloodthirsty. She feels in her element when pvp is involved

5h42min being brave is not not being afraid. Is being scared and still fighting fir what you believe in. There's is no such thing as complete absence of fear [Silence] At least not to me. But what do I know. (4c mindset)

7h48min30s bad and zam talking about how pangi tastes like (Pili is dying cuz he thought they were being sus but they were being literal)

7h52min50s Roshambo mention

7h53min45s Pili reminds Bad of Skeppy

7h55min Pili telling one of his friends about Bacon lmao (Zam sent a photo of Bacon (irl) on the realms discord because she and Pili wanted to convince Bad that Bacon and Skeppy looked alike in minecraft)

8h to 8h22min30s Watching Ash's latest quag video while eating

8h23min Zam and Pili (and Kyle for a bit) hanging out

8h52min Zam explaining the Kill Pentar bit (And then Zam explains everything that ever happened in Lifesteal for 2 hours)

[cowgurrrl]

Some way some how Joel and reader in lftl are able to take each other back to their homes from before. For closure and memories. They both are just two people who miss their babies. And now they get pictures and cards from their homes. Another little piece of Sarah and Jane to go back to jackson.

Hello do you have access to my wips I was literally working on this!! I wrote this more about reader going back to their last apartment because @hier--soir has an amazing fic about Joel going back to Texas and it's absolutely gorgeous <3 anyways, I hope you enjoy!! this made me CRYYYY

Never Grew Up With You

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: Jesus Christ I haven't cried at a fic like this in a LONG time I'm genuinely exhausted

Summary: "To never see her face again is what grief is." — Euripides, translated by Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides aka this ask [1.5k]

Warnings: talks of Jane, memories, oh it's so sad

It's eerie being back in that town. It's empty, but the remnants of Outbreak Day linger in the streets— decomposed bodies, crashed cars, craters where the bombs hit. You recognize bits and pieces. The downtown area which used light up with Christmas lights and smell like funnel cake during the winter months. The church where you lied on the application form so Jane could get into daycare. Your apartment building. You stop in front of it, Joel at your side, and look up at it. 

It looks smaller than you remember it like maybe you romanticized the shithole after so many years of living in a worse shithole. Only a few windows still have glass, and you catch faded curtains flapping in the abandoned apartments. "Mommy, look!" Jane had yelled that day so you could catch the jets flying over the building. You were standing in the same area you are now. Your heart clenches, and Joel seems to feel it at the same time.

"Are you sure bout this?" He asks, and you nod. "I'll be right here with you the whole time. We can leave whenever you want." You don't answer him. You just take a deep breath and start walking toward the stairs—bullet holes and rusty, dried blood line the path up to your third-floor apartment, but other than that everything is the same. There's even still a flyer on the bulletin board advertising an apartment-wide potluck set the week after Outbreak Day. Jane wanted to go. She said her friends were going and she wanted you to meet them. You said you'd think about it.

When you reach the top of the stairs, you find your apartment door still open and immediately regret not closing it. What if there's nothing left? What if it's been raided? What if it's all destroyed? You push yourself forward until you're over the threshold and back into the life you left behind. The body of the runner who burst into your apartment that night is still there, grey and all but dust at this point. Dirty plates sit in the sink. Jane's kindergarten homework has slid off the table and onto the floor, her scribbly handwriting boring holes into you. You pick it up despite it having boot marks and ripped edges and stare down at how she wrote her name. Joel doesn't say anything, but he squeezes your shoulder and lets you know he's there.

Together, you silently move through the rooms and salvage whatever you find. In your room, you find ratty old clothes from 2003, medical textbooks, and a file full of important documents shoved under your bed. Among the papers are your tax forms, a copy of your college diploma, and Jane's birth certificate— the only physical proof that she was ever here. Jane Eloise born April 7th, 1998, to you and no one else. Somehow, the glaring absence of Matt's name on her birth certificate still makes your stomach turn. You find a few more keepsakes before moving to the living room.

Whatever might've been there has been taken or destroyed by whoever's been in the building in the last twenty years. The blankets and pillows that once lived on your couch are gone. Your TV has been smashed in. The shoes Jane always left in the middle of the floor have disappeared, probably taken by some other parent who was desperate and was too scared to think of the child who left them. You're about to walk down the hallway to the bathroom and Jane's room when something crunches under your foot. You look down, and all the air gets punched out of your chest. As gently as possible, you bend down to pick up the shattered picture frame and stare at it. 

It was a picture taken by a friend at the county fair. Jane is on your right with a half-eaten blue cotton candy in her hand and a water bottle tucked under her arm. Her hair is in a braid, and there's a big blue stain on her Princess Ariel shirt, but she looks happy. You're both smiling big, the reflection of the colorful carnival lights shining in your identical eyes. Everyone always said she looked like Matt, but you can clearly see your features reflected back to you in this picture. God, how could you have forgotten about the way her eyes crinkled when she was happy? Or how she leaned into you in public? Or how young you both were?

"What's that?" Joel asks as he walks over to you, and you meet him halfway to show him the picture, unwilling to hand it over just yet. It takes him a minute to realize what he's looking at, but when he does, he looks up to catch you staring at the picture. "'S that Jane?"

"Mhm,"

"She's beautiful," he says, and you smile. "Is that cotton candy?"

"Yeah, it was her favorite. Practically begged me to buy it for her. I'm pretty sure I overdrafted my bank account just to get it."

"How old are you in this photo?" He asks, and you furrow your brows as you think. 

"Uh, Jane looks about three or four, so I was, at least, nineteen."

"You look happy."

"And tired," you say. Both things are true, but you can't ignore the bags under your eyes or your horribly fitting clothes. You were struggling. You were alone. You were so incredibly ill-equipped and felt the weight of the world on your shoulders. And Jane... Jane is none the wiser. She's smiling. She's fed. She's loved. She's happy. Maybe you were doing a better job than you thought you were. "You know she wanted to go on the Ferris wheel?" You ask, and Joel raises his eyebrows.

"That little?" He asks, and you laugh, nodding.

"I said the same thing, but she was so determined. So, my friend got us tickets to go on it, and we went, just the two of us. But when we started going around, she started getting really scared about the height and how fast it was going. She buried her head in my arm almost the whole time, and I was stressed that she was miserable and we had wasted my friend's money, and I was so fucking tired," you say. "But when we stopped at the top, I told her to look at the sky, and she did. I pointed at the different stars and talked to her about the moon, and she calmed down. I don't know if I distracted her or if she realized how big the sky was in comparison, but when we got down, all she could talk about was how close she got to the moon. After that, we'd go out every night and look at the stars. Even snuck out of our QZ shelter after the Outbreak."

"D'you get caught?" 

"Once. I knew a FEDRA guy, and he let it go. We never got caught again." You haven't thought about Owen in years. You don't know if he's dead or alive. You don't even know if he remembers you. You're not sure if you want to know. 

You grab a few more things from her room: a teddy bear, a few shirts, and a picture of you and her on the day she was born. Being in her space again makes your head swim, and you want to stay here forever and leave as soon as possible, all at the same time. Eventually, after combing through every nook and cranny you still know, you do leave. You say a proper goodbye to the first home you shared with Jane and the memories you made there. You're silently grateful to the apartment for holding so many treasures you would've otherwise never gotten back. 

You don't know why, but you trace your steps back through one of your old routes. Joel is silent beside you and lets you lead, knowing you would never do anything to endanger him. You recount stories as you pass certain buildings or paths; he listens and asks questions about her and your shared life. Before you know it, you're on the same hill overlooking the QZ. The one where you hid with her when the Outbreak first happened. The one you sat down on and sobbed after Adam died because you had to pull yourself together before reentering. The one you buried her on. 

The tree holding her has gotten bigger, its limbs stretching to the sky and the leaves a brilliant green. Seeing it thrive makes you smile just a little before you pivot and start walking to where you know she is. The sight of a fresh bouquet on her spot stops you in your tracks and makes your breath catch. All these years, you worried she would go unremembered under that big oak tree. You worried she was alone and scared. You worried and worried and worried because that's what any good parent does. The yellow flowers protecting her prove your worries wrong. You take a deep breath and grab Joel's hand before walking over to her. 

"Hey bug," you start, fighting your tears, "This is Joel. He’s Sarah’s dad and he’s my… he’s my best friend." You squeeze Joel’s hand and take a shaky breath. "He takes care of me and I take care of him. So, you don’t have to worry about Mommy being lonely, okay? I’m gonna be just fine. You don’t have to be scared for me. I've got my people here just like you've got your people there. So, you just rest and I'll be okay." Now, you're really crying and there's no stopping it.

"I love you. I hope leaving didn't make you think otherwise, but I came back. I'll always come back because you're my baby. You'll always be my baby."

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha

[arcadiabaytornado]

Why do you think Max and/or Chloe never talked to Rachel’s parents in the original game?? Or even considered doing it? I know Chloe had said they had already moved on or something, but from Max’s POV it still might’ve been worth a shot.

I might have missed something from the game, but far as I know, they never bring up Rachel’s parents again after Max asks about them.

I think Chloe knew it was a lost cause, and I think Max trusts Chloe on the matter.

Chloe got to know Rachel's family…a little too well in Before The Storm. She knows James is stubborn, and Rose likes to live in her fantasy land. It would be hard to change their minds if they were in denial. Plus, Chloe might have broken up their family, so her bond with James might have been to destroyed for them to even consider searching together.

As for Max, I assume that she just takes Chloe's word for it. She doesn't totally trust Chloe to be an unreliable narrator when it comes to Rachel (EX: Chloe says multiple times that she thinks Rachel is dead, yet Max still has some thoughts/dialogue that implies she thinks it's possible that Rachel might have left town.) but Chloe is clearly really desperate to find her and it's easy to believe that she be helping Rachel's parents if they were making an effort.

Plus, Max is super observation. She likely noticed that Chloe was the only one hanging up fliers. She also likely noticed that no one was making a big fuss about Rachel expect for Chloe. The absence of Rachel's parents can be felt through the game because they're literally doing nothing when it seems like they should be doing everything. I'm sure Max notices that too.

[youremyheaven]

I think youre right about Jennie(BP) being a Ashlesha native because Meghan Markle is also Ashlesha and she gets crazy amounts of hate all the time for little to no reason. People also for the longest time hated on Megan Fox, another ashlesha and Megan Thee Stallion(Ashlesha Chart Ruler/lagnesh) gets a crap ton of unwarranted hate as well.

Why do people hate Ashleshas so much?

i've lowkey changed my mind about her being Ashlesha Rising

Ashlesha, Vishaka, Bharani and Shravana are all Outcaste naks and people hate on them a lot and they do not have it easy, but Ashlesha is a unique case in many other ways. She's already Vishaka Moon and it explains why people thrash her so much but i don't think she has 2 outcaste naks in her big 3 tbh

the reason i dont think Jennie is Ashlesha Rising anymore is because I've noticed that it girls and icons ALWAYS have Venusian influence. Jennie has no Venus naks in her chart so the only way it would make sense is if she had a Venusian nak as her rising sign. People imitate her, buy everything she endorses/uses/makes, copy her looks, she literally set plastic surgery trends even lol, none of that would happen in the absence of Venus influence, so I have to conclude that Jennie has Venus Rising

my best bet is that she's Purvaphalguni Rising,, something about her being a tropical Virgo Rising just makes sense to me,, she's a perfectionist and very meticulous

I wouldn't be surprised if she had Purvashada Rising either tbh, it kind of fits but i am 100% certain she is not Bharani Rising

people hate Ashleshas because Ashleshas have a tendency to thrive in negativity. it goes back to its mythology.

The deity of Ashlesha is the Nagas (serpent god)

There are the three main Nagas: Shesha (the world rests on him), Vasuki, and Takshak (Tribal chief of Snakes). In the month of Shravan Nagas are worshiped on a period called Naga Panchami. There was a time when Nagas were growing in the population becoming a threat to humans, therefore they were instructed by Brahma to live deep underwater. They are considered to live under the ocean in a place called the Patal. Nagas are condemned to live in the underground. Some of the Nagas are demons who can hurt others, Whereas, some Nagas are worshipped as gods. Therefore, Ashlesha individuals come with this duality in them where they can either hurt others or they can heal and help others.

the thing is that the mythologies of some nakshatras are very heavy and dark. Ashlesha is one of them. to be condemned to live away from society is part of its myth. being an outcaste nak increases this tendency. this means even if they want to belong, they are shunned by or not accepted into society, which we can see with all these celebs who get hated on for no reason. Others feel their serpentine energy and it makes them feel uncomfortable. some people just have an energy or presence that invites condemnation without reason.

i think these experiences can no doubt make Ashleshas feel bitter and grow fully into their destructive powers. The shakti of this nakshatra, as mentioned in the puranas is "vish ashleshan" which means "burning poison", this is a very powerful shakti to have (every nak has a shakti, you can google yours) but to be able to "burn poison" you have to be unaffected by it, snakes are immune to their own venom. the healing that Ashleshas are capable of is also of a more aggressive kind. its like chemotherapy where you have to kill the bad cells to be healthy again. its not like sunshine and rainbows type of healing.

this is why I said Ashleshas thrive in negativity, they may or may not intentionally create negativity although the themes of the nak suggest that they have a penchant to dwell in or stir things towards darkness. Its that no matter how bad things get, Ashleshas will thrive?? something that would emotionally destroy another person will not do anything to an Ashlesha. this can be scary because they will stay in toxic relationships simply because they have the ability to withstand toxicity. think about megan fox and MGK's toxic relationship, he apparently called her threatening to kill himself and she had a breakdown?? and she wrote a poetry collection chronicling how fcked up their relationship is. in my post about ashleshas and toxic relationships i have cited numerous examples. Ashleshas often have difficult childhoods and these early experiences also contribute to them entering into toxic relationships as adults. a child weaned on poison considers harm to be comfort.

i feel like the whole taurus, gemini & cancer rashi naks deal with heavyyyy themes ,, the later naks suffer in more existential or emotional ways i feel, these ones straight up be fighting for their life with others