#and he's one of very few who do it in Thailand
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Looking up information around the SRS procedure I'm considering getting, as well as the surgeon I would be going through for it.
At this stage I'm planning to have it done late 2026, or early 2027. I think how things progress over the next year or so will play a major part in when I do go through with it.
What I've found when it comes to my preliminary research into costs and such is that I'll be potentially looking at around $30,000aud for the entire package through a company that does medical tourism (and who actually uses the surgeon I want)
I could potentially manage things myself, but I don't think I'll want the stress, and using a service will give more flexibility should something goes wrong.
I'll be requesting a withdrawal from my superannuation on compassionate grounds to cover the bulk of, if not all, of the costs anyway.
#transition stuff#transfem#researching my options#might as well start early#a lot of the Thai surgeons have long waits#not as long as locally#which are 5+ years#but I've heard some of the better ones are at least two to three years#and I'm going with one of the best#because i want PPV#and he's one of very few who do it in Thailand
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Sunday Sinner
🌙 staring. Mark & Donghyuck x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “Everything is wrong,” Mark sighs. “Doing this with you two is wrong. Wanting you this badly is wrong. Getting hard in Church is wrong. What I want to do to you is wrong. But… as crazy as it sounds, it also feels right.”
tw/cw. threesomes, inexperienced!Mark, fingering, blow jobs, deep throating, pussy eating, spit roasting, voyeurism, lots of masturbation (especially in the shower), Hyuck has a dirty mouth, sin sin sin, unprotected sex, creampies, cum play, kink for being 'full', religious contention, Mark gets hard during Sunday Service, Mark getting outed as low key virgin, proposition, Mark uses a cross necklace in sinful ways, praise, slight degradation, inklings of corruption kink, squirting, etc… I pet names: (hers) angel. (Mark's) church boy.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 12.6k
🍭 aus.frat/uni au, soccer player au, church/inexperienced!Mark, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. I've wanted to do a fic about Mark being Christain for a while, but I wanted to make one that was still respectful. This idea popped into my head, and I think it turned out really well :) it's only slight blasphemy.
There’s nothing like a frat party after a big win for the university soccer team. Even though Mark doesn’t really drink, and he’s never smoked a joint in his entire life, it’s nice to be surrounded by happy energy.
His team always laughs at him when he notes how celebrations can feel almost church-like, but the indescribable buzz that fills the entire frat is familiar to the man who’s been going to Sunday Services his entire life.
Mark likes seeing familiar faces, and if he hadn’t been raised in a very big family type of system, he’s not so sure he’d be this okay with crowds, or the number of people who reach out to pat him on the shoulder and shake his hand in congratulations for scoring the winning goal.
It had been a great game, and when Mark’s ball had sunk into the top left corner of the net, he’d run to the side lines to fall to his knees and make the sign of the cross, grabbing at the religious pendant around his neck to kiss it. People have always made fun of him for this tradition of his, but nothing will ever stop him from thanking God - his God - for the fortune life has brought him.
Even now, the necklace is securely around his throat, the cross resting just below his shirt. The cool metal brushes by his skin when he moves through the frat house, a constant reminder of his faith.
Something is drawing him outside, and Mark has always been someone who leans into the feelings he can’t put his finger on. It’s something like divine guidance, and Mark exits the frat to step onto the back patio, where his friends are in a circle around a fire.
It smells like weed, something Mark hadn’t liked at first, but it’s now a scent he’s used to, and he heads over to stand next to his roommate.
Lee Donghyuck and Mark have been friends since high school, where a few ‘less woke’ teachers had assumed - because of their shared last name - that two were cousins, or something of the sort. They’d always been put in group projects together. At first, Hyuck had been too much for Mark to handle, but over the years, he’s come to like the chaotic energy of his closest friend, despite all their differences, mainly, their disagreements on religion.
“Look what the cat dragged in!” Hyuck bellows, throwing his arm around Mark to pull him tight to his hoodie covered side, which reeks of marijuana.
“Church boy Mark!” Yuta grins from across the circle, raising his beer in a mock toast to the man who had won them their soccer game.
“Can he even be here?” a bitchy foreign exchange student from Thailand asks, earning a shove from Mark’s frat ‘big’ Johnny.
“Of course he can be here,” the man from Chicago laughs.
“I just mean-” Ten is quick to correct himself, “we’re playing Never Have I Ever. Are we sure this is suitable for him?”
“Mark plays games,” Hyuck insists, but Mark’s not so sure about this one.
“He doesn’t even have a drink,” Ten notes, looking Mark up and down.
“Someone get him something,” Hyuck says, snapping his fingers at one of their pledges. “One of the iced tea mixes, the low percent ones-”
“Hyuck-” Mark sighs.
“Trust me,” Hyuck assures him, “you hardly do anything with your life, it’s not like you’ll have to drink that much.”
Mark still doesn’t feel too enthused about joining the game, but he supposes his heart led him out here for one reason or another, so he accepts the hard iced tea can Jisung hands him. His eyes immediately scan it for the alcohol content, and he sighs. “This is the same as beer.”
“Come on, church boy,” Hyuck groans. “You’ll only have like three sips, max. Watch-” without waiting for Mark to agree, Hyuck is addressing the circle again. “Never have I ever sucked cock.”
The girls in the vicinity all make sounds of annoyance, raising their drinks to their lips. In the periphery, Yuta also sips his beer, and after a moment and a groan, so does Ten.
“See!?” Hyuck squeezes Mark’s shoulder. “You’re already zero for one.”
“That was a low blow, Hyuck,” your voice draws Mark’s attention. You’re standing on the other side of his best friend, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise, seeing as you’re Hyuck’s fuck buddy.
Mark takes a moment to assess you while Hyuck rolls his eyes and defends himself. The church goer has always thought you were pretty, and you’re smart too, much too smart for the crazy gemini he has as a roommate.
“Two can play that game,” you warn, raising your voice to announce, “Never have I ever eaten pussy.”
Mark’s skin prickles, panic washing over him as every man around the fire - and even a few girls - drink. The church boy can feel his grip on his can shaking slightly, and for a brief moment he considers having a swig of the hard iced tea just to protect himself, but, well… it would be a lie. And if there’s one thing Mark Lee doesn’t do, it’s lie.
Mark can feel eyes on him as he downcasts his gaze to the ground. His skin is heating with embarrassment, and he just prays to God no one makes a big deal out of this-
“You’ve never eaten pussy?” Jeno yells, and Mark just knows the question is directed at him.
He looks up, lips parting at the shock of being put on the spot.
“Wait, you guys haven’t heard the church camp story?” Hyuck asks, and now Mark’s really panicking. But it’s too late to stop his loose lipped roomie, who is already diving into Mark’s past for the whole circle to hear. “This one time, he fucked a girl at church camp, and a Jesus picture fell off the wall, so he hasn’t even touched a girl since then.”
A few people laugh, and while Mark can understand that - objectively - they’re not laughing at him, but at the story, he can’t help but get defensive.
“It fell off the wall, Hyuck,” Mark insists, voice shaking. “How else do you explain that?”
“I’ve always thought you were just banging that girl too hard,” Hyuck suggests, earning a few sounds of agreement from other frat boys.
But Hyuck wasn’t there when it had happened, and Mark knows for a fact there was no true bed rocking going on. He’d been taking things slow, and the only possible explanation for the picture falling - in his mind at least - is that he’d disappointed God.
He’d done a hundred Hail Mary’s as repentance, and now that his secret has been put out where everyone can hear, he thinks maybe he should do fifty more for good measure.
“I’ve gotta go,” Mark mumbles, handing Hyuck his drink.
Mark’s roommate tries to stop him from scurrying away, but the damage has been done, and the man who scored the winning goal at the soccer game rushes back into the frat house with red ears that betray his shame.
“You can’t still be mad at me,” Hyuck whines, chasing after you as you exit the frat bathroom.
“Why do you assume I’m mad at you?”
“Because I followed you to the toilet and you didn’t wanna smash?” Your fuck buddy manages to pin you to the wall, hands on either side of your head while he looks at you with serious eyes, a contrast to the sentence that’s just come out of his mouth.
“Sometimes a girl’s just gotta pee, Hyuck,” you laugh.
“Don’t play games, angel,” he insists. “You’re mad about the Mark thing.”
“So you admit I have something to be mad about.”
Hyuck lets out a sigh. “Fine, yes.” He pulls away from you, throwing up a hand in defeat. “I shouldn’t have told everyone his stupid Jesus picture story. There, I said I’m sorry, are you happy now?”
“You said what?”
He groans, and in one motion, he’s pinning you to the wall again, his lips just millimeters away from yours. When he speaks, his voice is low, and his eyes drill into your own, “I’m sorry.”
After a moment, you say softly, “I don’t think I’m the one you should be apologizing to.”
“You want me to apologize to Mark?!”
“Among other things.”
Hyuck pulls away, looking you up and down. “You better not be suggesting what I think your horny ass is suggesting.”
“I don’t know,” you smirk. “What do you think I’m thinking?”
“It looks like you’re thinking about going upstairs to offer Mark help with getting over his Jesus sex fear.”
“And that would upset you?” You cock your head to the side, assessing your fuck buddy.
“Angel,” he groans, “you’re mine.”
“Am I though?” you counter. “Am I really?”
When you’d started sleeping with Hyuck, he’d made it clear that he’s not the kind of guy who likes to be tied down to one person. While he can be somewhat possessive, part of your arrangement is that you can both do what you want, and right now, you’re seriously considering fucking the sweet church boy you’ve had a slight infatuation with since year one.
“Fuck the fact that you’re not my girlfriend,” Hyuck says finally. “There are bigger reasons you shouldn’t do this.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Well for one,” your fuck buddy leans in, his lips ghosting by your ear as he whispers, “Mark has a massive crush on you.”
For some reason, you find yourself laughing. Leave it to Hyuck to spill two of Mark’s biggest secrets in the span of one hour.
“If Mark has a crush on me, then I have to do this. You can either join us, or go cry about it.”
Hyuck sighs. “For an angel, you can be a bit of a fucking demon sometimes.”
“And you love it.”
You and Hyuck are standing outside his bedroom. The door is locked when you try to open it, and Hyuck watches you let out a deep sigh before knocking. “Mark? You in there?”
“Of course he’s in there,” Hyuck whispers, rolling his eyes.
“Shh! Be nice!” you chastise him, playfully smacking his arm. Your voice is soft when you call out again, knocking gently a few more times. “Mark? Please let me in.”
The music from downstairs is too loud for Hyuck to hear movement in his room, but after a few moments, the door opens and Mark peers out.
“Oh, it’s both of you.”
“Don’t sound so disappointed, Mark,” Hyuck nearly laughs, placing his palm on the wood so he can force it open before his friend tries to shut the door again. “I live here too, you know.”
“How could I forget,” Mark sighs, heading over to flop onto his bed.
You and Hyuck enter the room, and he clicks the lock back into place behind him. He watches you approach his friend, sitting on the foot of the mattress.
When you reach out, ghosting your hand over Mark’s shin, Hyuck leans back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. He wouldn’t define himself as a jealous type of guy, but watching you be gentle with Mark is definitely bringing up some suppressed emotions, and Hyuck’s not sure what to make of it.
“Mark,” you stroke his leg. “Hyuck has something to say to you.”
“Huh?!” Hyuck’s eyes widen, and he looks between you and his roommate.
You’re going to make him proposition his friend for you?
“Yeah, didn’t you tell me you wanted to apologize?” There’s a warning tone in your voice, and when you look over your shoulder at Hyuck, you give him an expression filled with expectation.
“Right,” Hyuck coughs. “I uh… I’m sorry for what happened at the fire.”
He can tell by your small eye roll that you’re not fully satisfied with his apology, but Mark doesn’t seem to mind. The church boy sighs, running a hand over his face. “It’s okay,” he mumbles.
“It’s not okay,” you insist, turning your gaze back to Mark. “I’m also sorry for saying never have I ever eaten pussy. I was trying to attack Hyuck and make him drink, but you got caught in the crossfire.”
“You didn’t mean to, though,” Mark says. “I shouldn’t have joined the game. This is a lesson for me, I guess.”
“Aw, Mark,” Hyuck can’t see your face, but he knows you’re frowning. “We wanted you to join the game. We like it when you do things with us.”
It’s interesting for Hyuck to hear you saying the royal ‘we,’ as if you’re a couple, a unit.
“I’m sure the incident with the Jesus picture was very traumatizing for you,” you continue, sounding as genuine as ever while your hand continues to smooth up and down Mark’s leg. “I can understand why you’d be… apprehensive about doing anything sexual after that.”
Mark groans, covering his face with his hands. Hyuck can’t help but smile when he sees his friend’s ears flaring red with embarrassment, it’s always so easy to get the church boy riled up.
“I just want you to know…” you shift a little where you’re seated, moving closer to Hyuck’s roommate, “this is a safe space. If you ever wanted to… try something like that again, there aren’t any Jesus pictures here to knock down.”
“What?” Mark’s lips part with shock, and he looks between you and Hyuck. “Are you two…”
“Propositioning you?” Hyuck suggests. “Yeah, she is.”
“I’m not-” Mark swallows thickly. “I don’t want your pity.”
“It’s not pity,” you assure him.
“She wants to fuck you, Mark,” Hyuck says, trying to be helpful. “It will be good for you.”
“Good for me?” Mark squeaks.
“You’re a frat boy who’s practically a virgin, dude,” Hyuck nearly laughs. “You’ve gotta dip your dick in the sinful water sometime. What’s life without eating a little pussy?”
“Oh my god,” Mark groans, covering his face with his hands.
“It’s not that bad, Jesus won’t mind, you don’t even have to put your dick in her!” Hyuck can’t believe he’s the one backing this now, but he also can’t really believe his roommate is a near-virgin.
“This can’t be happening-” Mark is still hiding his face, his ears as scarlet as ever.
“Listen, “ Hyuck sighs, “we usually fuck while you’re at church on Sundays. But if you wanted, we could wait a little and let you join after your service tomorrow.”
Mark’s eyes widen. “After my service? Are you two crazy?”
“You don’t have to decide right now,” you assure him. “I’m sure this is a lot to take in, especially after the day you had. I don’t think I’ve congratulated you on your goal in the game today yet-”
Hyuck scoffs at how you could be bringing that up right now.
“Just think about it,” you continue, giving Mark’s thigh a gentle squeeze. “I’m going to go home now, but, tomorrow, if you want to try eating pussy, Hyuck and I will be here.”
Hyuck wonders what would happen if it was just you propositioning Mark. If he’d be more willing to agree. It’s definitely an added level of sin to have Hyuck in the room while Mark rips his virgin bandaid off, but it’s not like Hyuck’s going to leave Mark alone with you.
You’re his angel, even if you’re looking to save Mark.
Mark can’t pay attention to the sermon. His palms are sweaty, no matter how many times he rubs them against his pants. He feels like - at any moment - a big Jesus statue could just fall over and everyone in the church would turn to him, knowing he was the cause due to his sinful thoughts.
What makes it worse, is the way he can feel blood rushing to his cock. He’s half hard at the Sunday service, and he’s never felt like a worse Christain.
This experience definitely trumps the losing of his virginity, if that’s even possible, and he hasn’t even done anything with you yet.
But in the dark, back corners of his mind, Mark knows that will change. He knows he won’t be able to resist you, you’re just too tempting. He doesn’t have that kind of control over himself, no matter how much he wishes he did.
When the service is over, Mark stands on shaky legs, grabbing a Bible to hold in front of his crotch while he exits the place of worship to head back to the frat.
The fresh air does little to calm his nerves. If anything, the closer he gets to his home, the more sinful he feels. He knows each step is one step closer to you, one step closer to religious paraphenia being miraculously moved by the hand of God-
Yet, he can’t stop. He can’t even alter his course, and when he reaches the frat, he doesn’t say one word to the boys kicking around in the kitchen, he heads straight up to his room.
When he gets to his door, Mark pauses. His hands are shaky as he reaches for the knob, and for a second, he wonders if he should knock. Taking a deep breath, Mark decides to ignore his manners, pushing into the room.
He’s almost relieved to find you and Hyuck sitting in his bed, fully clothed, watching something on Netflix.
“Hiya, Mark,” Hyuck waves, as if their relationship isn’t about to be completely altered.
“How was Sunday service?” you ask.
“How was it?” Mark shuts the door behind himself, giving his head a little shake as he hurries over to the closet to discard his jacket. “You know, good.”
“Why are you carrying a Bible?” Hyuck asks, looking him up and down. “Did you steal that from your church?”
Panic shoots through Mark. He had most definitely accidentally stolen it from his church, wihtout giving it a second thought. His mind had been so focused on you and covering his boner-
“I can give it back,” Mark insists, palms sweating again as he places the book gently on top of his backpack.
“You look spooked, dude. Did some pastor try to touch you?”
“Hyuck!” you practically scream, slapping your hand over your fuck buddy’s mouth. “You can’t say things like that!”
Hyuck mumbles something against your hand that sounds like ‘historically accurate,’ and Mark wants to strangle him.
“You want to know why I look stressed?” Mark sighs. “Because you two are sinners who propositioned me last night!”
Hyuck moves your hand from his mouth, smirking. “Come on, Mark, be sinners with us!”
“This is not helping,” you whisper to your fuck buddy, gently pushing his shoulder before you stand from the bed, approaching Mark with an empathetic expression. “I’m sorry about last night, we shouldn’t have pushed that on you.”
“It’s okay,” Mark shakes his head, refusing to meet your gaze.
“It’s not, we’re horrible, dirty, sinful people,” you reach out, linking your pinkie with Mark’s. It’s a small gesture, but it speaks volumes. “Forget we ever said anything.”
“I can’t forget,” Mark states, finally looking at you. He licks his lips, thinking of something else to say, but all that comes out is “I can’t forget,” and it’s the truth.
You open your mouth, and Mark hangs on what your next words will be-
Hyuck interrupts the moment. “So are you gonna eat pussy or what?”
“Hyuck!” you yell, turning to flash a warning glare at the man who’s giggling to himself on his bed.
Mark doesn’t even want to focus on his friend right now. Instead, he reaches out, taking your other hand gently. He gazes down at your fingers, too scared to look at your face.
“I think…” Mark swallows the lump in his throat. “I think we should do this.”
“Really?” you ask while Hyuck lets out a loud “What?!”
“You’re both right… maybe it will be good for me.” Mark can’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth. “But- I’m not sure what I’m even ready for.”
“We can go slow,” you assure him, squeezing his hand. “Anything you’re comfortable with.”
Mark looks up at you. “Can I… can I kiss you?”
Hyuck scoffs loudly, but it’s an afterthought in Mark’s mind when you nod, reaching up to cup his face. “You can kiss me,” you tell him softly.
Mark’s free hand reaches out to grab your waist, and he moves closer. He can feel your breath on his face. He’s never been this up close and personal with you, and you’ve never been prettier. There’s a softness in your expression, an acceptance, and it makes Mark feel confident enough to press his lips to yours.
It’s a gentle kiss - a perfect kiss - and Mark can feel the tension releasing in his shoulders.
You step even closer, and your breasts press against his chest, your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. Your tongue smooths over his bottom lip and Mark stifles a groan, opening his mouth just enough for his own tongue to meet yours.
He can count the number of girls he’s kissed during his life on one hand, including you, but none of them have happened like this. Mark had never imagined he’d end up in this situation before, and despite the calming effect you have on him, he still finds himself pulling away and struggling to catch his breath.
“I want to touch you,” he admits, in fact, he’s been thinking about it all day.
“Yeah?” There’s a sparkle in your eye and you smile at him. “Where?”
Mark can’t bring himself to say it.
You gently take his hand, bringing it to your throat. “Here?” you ask, and Mark traces his thumb over your jugular, surprised to find your heart is racing just as fast as his own. “Or…” you move his hand down, his palm cupping at your breast, “Here?”
Mark lets out a low groan at the feeling of you. He’s touched even less boobs than he’s kissed girls in his life, and yours are absolutely perfect in his hand.
“Mark,” you whimper, and he brushes his fingers over your pebbled nipple, peaking through your shirt. He can feel his cock throbbing in his pants, and he shifts uncomfortably.
“Or maybe…” you move his hand lower, dragging it across your stomach until it reaches your pussy through your sweatpants, “were you thinking of touching me here?”
He nods, still unable to speak as you guide him to apply more pressure to your core. You feel so warm, and a sinful voice in the back of his mind tells him you’re probably wet too. Or at least, he hopes you’re wet, hopes he has the same effect on you that you have on him.
You let out a soft moan, and it’s like music to his ears. You grind down slightly on his hand, wiggling your hips in a motion that’s hypnotizing. “Do you want to…” you bite at your lip, toying with the waistband of your sweats. “Do you want to put your hand inside?”
“God, yes,” Mark groans, finally finding his voice.
You pull the waistband away from your skin, giving Mark access to slip his hand below it. Then your lips find his again, your arms wrapping around his shoulders while he teases his fingers along your panty clad core.
You’re as wet as he’d hoped you would be, and Mark moans at the realization.
He’s only watched porn a handful of times in his life, and always felt bad about it after, but he knows where the clit is, and he gently circles his fingers around the spot.
You gasp into his mouth, and Mark eats up the sound, applying more pressure.
“Fuck, Mark, just like that-” you tell him, threading your fingers through his hair as you deepen the kiss.
You rut your hips, grinding down on his hand, and it drives Mark wild. He wants to touch you, really touch you, without any fabric in the way, and when he opens his mouth to ask, “Can I-” you’re agreeing without even hearing the end of the sentence.
He takes a breath, and then he moves your panties to the side.
The first swipe of his fingers through your pussy lips feels like nothing he’s ever felt before, and the wetness he collects against his skin makes his cock throb again.
He teases your opening, earning more gasps from you as your lips move to his neck. When your mouth makes contact on a spot just below his ear, a shiver runs through Mark’s entire body. He’s heard about sweet spots, but no one has ever kissed his, and the feeling has his eyes closing with pleasure.
Without a second though, Mark slides a finger into your pussy, and you mewl in his ear, holding him tighter. “So good,” you whisper as he slowly thrusts the digit in and out of you, building the confidence to add another.
You're grinding down against him still, and his palm works your clit while his two fingers curl inside of you. The sounds you’re making are increasing in pitch and frequency, and you’re gently pulling on his hair, licking at the spot on his neck that has his body tingling.
He’s never made a girl cum before, but he can tell by the way you’re reacting, that he’s going to get you there. He wants to get you there, more than he’s wanted any goal he’s ever scored in a soccer game.
The cool weight of the cross around his neck has Mark wondering if he’s going to go to hell for this. But can he really go to hell for something that feels this good? This right?
“I’m close,” you tell him. “Don’t stop.”
Mark works his fingers into you even faster, eager to have you coming undone on his hand-
A clinking sound in the periphery makes Mark’s eyes open, and when he looks over at Hyuck’s bed, he sees his friend wiggling out of his pants.
“Dude, what the Hell-” Mark freezes, making an attempt to pull his hand from your pants, but you latch onto his wrist, shaking your head.
“No, Mark, please, I’m so close, please-” There’s a look of desperation in your eye, and it has him swallowing thickly, focusing on you while he picks up his motions again.
“I’ll wait,” Hyuck says in the background, and there’s some comfort in that at least.
“Mark, it feels so good, you’re so good at this-” you praise him, whispering in his ear while you work your hips faster against his hand.
“Oh God-” Mark groans, watching your face contort with pleasure.
“There’s no God here, dude,” comes Hyuck’s snarky voice.
Mark’s eyes begin to shift to his friend, but you cup his face, forcing him to look at you. “Focus on me,” you tell him. “Like I’m focused on you.”
He swallows thickly, breathing deeply as he fingers you harder, earning all sorts of sinful moans that drown out anything Hyuck could ever bring to the situation.
“Yes, Mark, yes- I’m gonna-” You’re gasping now, and you can’t even finish your sentence. Your pussy clenches around Mark’s fingers, your lips finding his as you cum.
He continues his motions, wanting to draw out every second of pleasure that he can-
Mark has heard all sorts of ideas about what Heaven could look like, but he’s never heard that Heaven could be standing in your frat house room, hand down your best friend’s fuck buddy’s pants, with her pussy throbbing around your fingers.
You begin to shake, reaching down to grab at his forearm, and Mark knows you’re finished. He doesn’t want to hurt you, and he pulls his hand away, marveling at the slick that’s covering his digits.
“Here,” you say gently, grabbing his wrist to guide his fingers to your mouth, licking them clean. Then you reach for him, bringing your mouth close to his own. “Taste me.”
Mark’s never kissed a girl so fast in his life, and he groans at the flavour of your tongue. If this is what your pussy tastes like, Mark had missed out by passing up the opportunity to eat you out, but at the same time, he’s really not sure if he’s ready for that yet.
“Okay, you two,” Hyuck’s voice makes Mark draw back from you. “This is enough teasing, I’ve gotta fuck something now or I’m gonna explode. Mark, are you staying?”
The church boy swallows thickly and then he shakes his head. If he’s not ready to eat you out, he’s definitely not ready to watch his best friend fuck you. “I’ve gotta…” he stumbles for an excuse. “I’m gonna go shower.”
“Right, shower,” Hyuck rolls his eyes. “Have fun with that.”
You go in for one last kiss before Hyuck is pulling you away from Mark, and he watches for just a moment while Hyuck presses his own mouth against yours-
Mark tears his eyes away, reaching for a towel in his closet before escaping the room.
The towel covers his boner while he runs down the hallway to the bathroom, and he strips himself naked in record time, stepping into a shower stall.
His hand is around his throbbing cock not two seconds later, and Mark throws his head back, closing his eyes while his brain struggles to process everything that’s just transpired.
It doesn’t take long for him to work himself to the edge. His toes curl against the vinyl floor, and his vision goes practically black as he cums.
There’s no time to aim, and Mark feels sticky warm fluid coat his chest, but his hand doesn’t stop. He jacks himself off until he’s a nearly overstimulated, gasping mess, and he thanks God for the water cleaning his body of the sinful filth.
He’s never cum this hard in his entire life.
You’re at your usual Wednesday lunch with the girls before class when you notice one of your friend’s looking at something over your shoulder. She’s done this a few times now, but when you turn in your seat to assess the room, you don’t see anything out of the ordinary.
“Are you looking at someone?” you question.
“It’s just…” Hyuna leans forward. “Did you do something to Mark?”
“What?” you look behind you again, thoroughly confused.
“Every time you turn, he pulls his baseball cap down,” she explains. “He’s over there, by the window. Green cap.”
When you scan the area again, you do notice a pair of cute red ears sticking out from a baseball cap, the guy’s head downcast as if he’s just staring at his french fries.
“How many times has he looked over here?” you ask, grinning.
“Like, a lot.” Hyuna cocks her head. “You did do something to Mark.”
You stand up, leaning forward. “Actually, he did something to me.” With a wink to your girls, you turn to head off toward Mark’s table.
He looks up once during your approach, and you see him scrambling with his bag. It would be very entertaining to watch him run away from you again, but he doesn’t have the chance, as you arrive before he’s done shoving papers into his binder.
“Hey, you.” You take the seat across from him. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” His voice is shaky, and you find it adorable.
“You know…” you reach your foot out under the table, grazing it by his calf. “I can’t get you out of my head either.”
Mark coughs, adjusting the cap on his head. “What?”
“I said, I can’t get you out of my head either.” You’re enjoying the effect you have on him, and you’re very aware of how public the space is. You don’t think Mark’s going to confirm that he’s been thinking about you, so instead, you ask, “Are you planning to go to church on Sunday?”
“Yeah, of course,” he swallows thickly.
“Do you think you’ll be able to pay attention while you’re there?”
“I uh, I-” Mark stutters over his words. “I think so?”
You study the pretty virginal frat boy. As soft as you’ve been with him so far, you feel like teasing him, just to see how he reacts. “Just so you know, if, while you’re at Sunday service, a Jesus picture falls down, it’s because Jesus knows what you did.”
Mark lets out a groan, and you see his neck has turned red now too. “I-” Mark’s gaze dips down to your breasts, which are pushed together in your low neckline shirt as you lean forward. “I have to go-” he grabs his things, fumbling with all of them while he stands abruptly.
The loud sound of his chair scraping across the ground draws a few eyes, and the pool boy nearly knocks the table over in his haste. You notice the way he immediately holds his binder over his crotch, and you lick your lips while looking up at him.
“See you later,” he mumbles, running away.
You watch him enter the men’s bathroom, and you think you can imagine what he’s going in there to do. Last time he’d run away from you, Hyuck had mentioned he was probably going to jack off in the showers.
The frat bathroom is one thing for a quick wank, but a public restroom is another.
You shake your head, walking back to your girls table, Mark’s tray of fries in your hand. They’re all gawking at you.
“Damn,” Hyuna whistles. “I know you just said he did things to you, but girl, you definitely did a number on that church boy.”
There’s nothing Hyuck loves more in the world than making you cum on his cock. He loves the noises you make, gripping at his bed sheets as your orgasm overtakes you. He loves being the source of your high.
What he doesn’t love however, is the way that today, you immediately ask, “How’s Mark doing?” as Hyuck pulls out of you.
He can’t help but laugh slightly, shaking his head at you. “Been acting weird all week.”
“Do you think he’s going to join us tomorrow after church? I’m kind of shocked he wasn’t here today, if I’m being honest.”
“Is that why you came over? Wanted to see your precious little Mark?” Hyuck lands a smack to your inner thigh that has you giggling. “And yeah. He’ll probably join tomorrow. Jeno says he’s walked in on Mark jacking off in the shower like, four times this week. It’s actually starting to be a bit of a problem.”
“Is frat boys jacking off in the shower not a common occurrence around here?”
“It is, but not when it’s Mark,” Hyuck laughs. “That guy needs to get fucked.”
“I’m not sure he’s ready for that yet.”
Hyuck studies you. “What makes you say that?”
“Just a feeling.”
“Well, maybe he just needs to cum properly.”
You sit up, teasing your hands over Hyuck’s thighs. “Tell me, how does a guy ‘cum properly.’”
“Buried inside something nice, and wet, and warm,” Hyuck reaches out to grasp your chin. “Your mouth would work.”
You laugh at the idea, “Maybe if he lets me,” and Hyuck grins, getting off the bed to pull on his pants.
“I’m gonna head to the kitchen for water, need anything?”
“Just you,” you tease. “Hurry back.”
“You got it, angel,” Hyuck winks at you before heading to the door. He pulls on his shirt as he exits the room, but just when he gets his head through the neck hole, he catches a quick glimpse of one mister Mark Lee rushing into the bathroom at the end of the hall.
Had Mark been listening this whole time? Had he been outside of the door, listening to Hyuck fuck you?
The thought makes Hyuck laugh again, and his ego triples in size. There’s something very… intriguing about this whole situation with the frat’s ‘designated’ virginal church boy, even if this experience is making Hyuck rethink his ideas of commitment.
If the last Sunday service had been torture, today might just be Hell for Mark.
He’s sweating, shaking even, his knee bobbing up and down anxiously while he sits in the back row.
He’d returned the Bible he’d stolen last time, but he fears that he might end up taking it again. Every time he thinks about you, thinks about what it felt like to have his hand down your pants while you sucked on his neck-
No, he can’t think about it. He can’t-
But it’s too late, he feels his cock growing in his pants, and shame washes over him. He runs a hand through his hair, fanning himself and taking deep breaths.
It’s not ten minutes into the hour long service, and already, he’s at his breaking point.
Mark battles with himself for another two minutes, and he finally gives up. When everyone stands to sing, he quietly excuses himself from the back row, ducking out of the church without looking back.
“Mark?” you sit up hastily from Hyuck’s embrace, blinking at the boy who’s just entered the room. “You’re back from church early!”
“Yeah, I couldn’t sit through it,” Mark mumbles, throwing his jacket in the closet before collapsing on his bed, running a hand through his hair.
“That’s unlike you,” Hyuck sits up next to you. “Are you sick or something?”
“Definitely sick in the head,” Mark groans.
“Enjoying sex doesn’t make you bad,” you tell him. “Besides, we haven’t even fucked yet.”
Mark sighs. “Yet.”
“So you were thinking about her fucking you while you were in church,” Hyuck grins next to you. “That’s sinful, Mark.”
“I know!” Mark flops onto his stomach, shoving his face against his pillow.
You look at Hyuck, and he makes a face, motioning to his friend. ‘Say something’ he mouths.
‘No, you say something!’ you mouth back.
Instead, Hyuck simply pushes you out of his bed, and you stumble onto your feet.
“Mark…” you approach the sulking churchboy. “I know a few things that could cheer you up.”
Mark groans, but he sits up all the same, looking at you with eyes that tell you he wants you to elaborate.
“I was thinking…” you swallow, choosing your words. “Based on your history, it sounds like maybe you’ve never had someone go down on you before-”
“Fuck, she’s so good with her mouth,” Hyuck quips.
“I know this whole thing started with you not eating pussy, but, seeing as you made me cum last week with your fingers, I thought I could return the favour somehow.”
Mark’s lips part, and he allows you to take his hands, pulling him to be standing in front of you.
“What do you say Mark?” You lean forward, your lips almost touching. “Can I suck you off? Pretty please?”
Instead of answering, he kisses you, cupping the back of your neck.
Your first kiss with Mark had been slow and gentle, but there’s a new fire in him now, and it’s only a moment before his tongue is gliding past your lower lip, begging for entrance. You release a groan, reaching down to loop your fingers in the waistband of his pants, pulling him tighter to your body.
You can feel that he’s already hard, and you love how easy it is to turn him on. You love the way he’s already becoming more explorative in the way he interacts with you, his hand steady on the back of your neck, insistent that you stay lip locked.
For a guy who doesn’t kiss girls much, he’s a phenomenal kisser. There’s emotion in it, and he tastes like spearmint.
You get lost in the feeling of him, but after only a little while, you’re aching to touch him properly. Your hand slips down, cupping him through his pants. The church boy shivers at the contact, and you squeeze him. It’s the first time you’ve really touched his cock, and you bet he’s already aching-
He releases the back of your neck, and you take it as a sign to begin kissing down his body. You start at his throat, licking the sensitive spot that has him grabbing your hips and releasing a moan. He makes such pretty sounds-
You continue rubbing his cock, but when your mouth gets to his collarbone, you grab at his shirt. “Can this come off?”
“Yeah,” Mark mumbles, releasing you so he can unbutton the nice church shirt he’s wearing.
When he discards the fabric, revealing his body to you, you simply enjoy it for a moment.
Mark and Hyuck both have such wonderful bodies. Sure, some of your friends make good arguments about the muscled forms of Jaehyun, Johnny and Jeno, but you prefer Mark’s understated physique.
He’s a soccer player, and his body is perfectly athletic without being too much to handle.
Your kisses begin to descend, and you find yourself pausing at the cross necklace. You lean forward and press your lips to it softly. Mark lets out a shaky breath.
You know he’s watching you, and this is your way of showing him you still respect his religion, despite persuading him to partake in the more ‘sinful’ side of life.
“Wait,” Mark says, and he lets go of you to reach behind his neck, fumbling with the clasp. You watch him with curiosity as he removes the cross, holding it gently and placing it onto his bedside table.
You don’t think you’ve ever seen him without the gold chain around his throat, and you wonder what the removal of it could mean, but you try not to think too hard about it.
You sink to your knees on the floor, undoing his belt and looking up at Mark. If he doesn’t want this, he can stop you, and you give him more than enough time to make that decision. But Mark only watches you, breathing heavily as you undo the button, then the zipper-
“You want this?” you ask, hooking your fingers in his pants and briefs.
He nods. “I want you.”
You smile, tugging the fabrics down so they pool at his feet.
“You have such a pretty cock,” you whisper, grabbing the base and swiping your thumb across the leaking tip. You notice the way Mark’s chest and neck flush pink, as if he’s embarrassed by your words, but you know that praise is good for Mark.
You press a kiss to the head of his cock, suckling a little while Mark moans above you.
It looks like he’s not sure where to place his hands, so you reach for one, placing it on your cheek while you take more of him into your mouth.
“God-” Mark whispers.
“She feels good, right?” Hyuck asks.
“Yeah,” Mark nods. “Really good.”
Having them both give you praise has your pussy throbbing, and it encourages you to sink further down onto his cock, sucking harder-
“Shit-” Mark nearly whimpers, and you think this might be the first time you’ve heard him swear.
You know it’s wrong, and bad, and dirty, and sinful- but there’s something about corrupting Mark that has you going insane. You bob up and down on his cock, stroking the base that you can’t reach with your mouth.
“This is too hot,” Hyuck says. “I’ve gotta join.”
“How-” Mark begins to ask, but a second later, hands are pulling you off of Mark’s cock.
“Both of you, on the bed,” Hyuck instructs. “You’ve heard of spit roasting, right, Mark?”
“I-” the church boy’s skin is flushed again, and when you hop up on the bed, he follows, clamoring after you.
“Look, you’ll have her mouth,” Hyuck gets on the mattress behind you, and you hear him undoing his belt, “and I’ll have her perfect pussy. It’s a win, win.”
Mark doesn’t argue, his eyes moving down to meet yours as you take his dick back into your mouth, picking up where you’d left off.
Hyuck, meanwhile, tears your pants down, and a moment later his fingers are gliding through your pussy. “Fuck, angel, you’re soaked. Sucking Mark’s cock really turns you on, huh?”
You groan a sound of affirmation around Mark, and his hand is quick to grab your head again, fingers flexing in your hair.
“You can fuck her face if you want,” Hyuck suggests, working two fingers into you easily. “She loves getter her throat fucked-”
Mark’s hips twitch at the words, but he doesn’t follow through. You think maybe he doesn’t want to hurt you, and it’s an endearing idea.
Hyuck pulls his digits from your core, and they’re replaced with the head of his cock, which he rubs the length of your pussy, teasing your clit before pushing into you.
Your fuck buddy lets out a loud groan, his hands finding your hips as he sinks his length fully into your core.
“Dude,” Hyuck breathes, “her pussy is literally Heaven-”
His first thrust sends you further onto Mark’s cock, and the man above you gasps when he hits the back of your throat.
“Is fucking pussy going against God?” Hyuck asks, in an almost rhetoric manner. “Isn’t there some weird church loophole where anal doesn’t count? Her ass is great too, scout’s honor.”
At this point, you’re pretty sure Mark’s not even listening to Hyuck. He’s much too focused on your lips wrapped around him, and the sounds slipping out of him make you think maybe he’s close to the edge.
All things considered - for a guy who’s never been blown - Mark’s lasting remarkably well, but you don’t want him to last. You want him to cum, like he deserves to cum.
When you suck harder, you feel Mark’s cock twitch, and he lets out a groan. “Shit, I’m gonna-”
“Cum in her mouth,” Hyuck states, pace getting rougher inside of you. “Do it. She’s a good girl. She’ll swallow. Fuck, it’s so hot when she swallows.”
Mark moans, and he pushes his hips forward, sending his cock into the back of your throat. Your gag reflex is the thing that makes him cum, and an “Oh my God!” leaves his lips as he explodes down your throat.
Hyuck’s right, you are a good girl, and you swallow every drop, working Mark through his orgasm until he’s gasping. He pulls out of your mouth, and Hyuck takes the opportunity to fuck you even harder.
Now that you can moan freely, you fill the room with sounds of your own pleasure. When Mark gets off the bed, you fall onto your face, turning to press your cheek to the mattress while you watch Mark find his pants on the floor.
His eyes meet yours, and you can see his pupils are blown. It’s so incredibly sexy to have Hyuck fucking you on Mark’s bed while Mark watches, and your pussy throbs around Hyuck’s cock.
“Fuck, you just got so tight, angel,” Hyuck groans, fingers digging into your waist while his hips buck wildly. “Shit, I’m not going to last like this-”
You reach a shaky hand under your body, finding your clit, and it only makes your pussy clamp down harder on your fuck buddy, who releases another loud moan.
“You close, angel? Sucking off Mark must have really got you going-”
“I’m close,” you confirm, grabbing at the bedsheet with your free hand while your fingers continue on your clit.
“Yeah, you are,” Hyuck growls. “That’s my good girl, my perfect angel. I want you to cum so bad, it’ll tip me over the edge- Fuck! I’m gonna fill you up so good, so fucking good-”
You love it when Hyuck talks dirty like this, and you gasp as you get closer and closer to your high-
“Come on,” Hyuck lands a smack to your ass, and the pained pleasure has you crying out, rubbing your clit harder. “Cum for me,” he commands.
It’s all you need to reach the edge, and you fall over it with a loud moan, forcing your eyes to stay open while you stare at Mark, who watches you with parted lips and a dazed expression.
“That’s it, that’s it-” Hyuck grunts, pace faltering as he cums too, fulfilling his promise of filling you up just the way you like it. He fucks you through your highs, and your hand falls from your clit to the bed, body on the cusp of overstimulation as Hyuck’s motions begin to slow.
As things come to a stop, Hyuck lets out a deep breath. “Mark, come over here, you’ve gotta see this.”
“I don’t want to look at your dick,” comes Mark’s quick retort.
“Then don’t look at my dick, look at her pussy with my cum dripping out of it. Trust me, it’s so fucking hot-” Hyuck pulls out of you, and you whine at the loss.
You watch Mark go around the side of the bed, and you can feel both of their eyes on your hole, which is already beginning to drip Hyuck’s cum-
You place a hand under your core, not wanting to get any of this on Mark’s bed, and Hyuck laughs loudly.
“Aren’t you two worried about pregnancy?” Mark asks.
“That’s what birth control is for,” Hyuck says. “Cumming inside feels like nothing else in the whole world.”
“What about STI’s?”
“Well, I mean…” Hyuck gets off the bed, and you watch him grab a tissue from his desk, “we’re only really fucking each other and we’re both clean so…”
“Wait, you two only sleep with each other?” Mark sounds justifiably confused. “So… why aren’t you two… why aren’t you two dating?”
It’s a very good question, and from the way Hyuck brushes it off with a ‘you know’ and a topic change, it feels as if neither of you really have a good answer. “Anyways, you have to try this sometime,” Hyuck says again. “Next Sunday.”
Mark sighs. “Can’t we do this on any day but Sunday?”
“Where would be the fun in that, church bitch?”
You let out a groan of annoyance, but you think you’re starting to understand this is just the way their relationship is.
Getting through a full week while being on the same campus as you is starting to feel like Mark’s own personal Hell. Every time he so much as catches a glimpse of you running between classes, blood rushes to his cock.
Hell, even at soccer practice with Hyuck, every time Mark looks at his forward position roommate, all he can think about is the visual of Hyuck fucking you from behind on his own bed.
By Friday, he’s too pent up to even attend his last class, and he rushes back to the frat to get some shower time.
He’s becoming much too used to jacking off in the shower, but he really can’t help himself.
Mark feels like an absolute sinner, especially with the cross necklace around his neck. Today, something comes over him, and he takes it off, wrapping the gold chain around his right hand. He looks at it for a moment, and there’s almost something like curiosity-
He wraps his hand around his cock, flinching a little at the cold metal on his heated skin. As he begins to move his fist up and down his aching length, the bite of the necklace feels like repentance, like something he deserves.
Mark takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as he thinks about you.
He thinks about the sounds you make, the expression on your face as you cum- how your mouth had felt on his throbbing cock-
He can’t believe how easy it is to get himself to the edge, especially with the added pain of the necklace around his hand. Does this make him even worse? It shouldn’t be this easy to cum- it shouldn’t be, but it is.
When he reaches the edge, it’s not God’s name on Mark’s lips, it’s yours.
He gasps, body tingling as he pumps his way through it, the necklace biting into his skin-
“Jesus Christ Mark! Get a fucking room!” comes Jeno’s voice. “Some of us are just trying to fucking shower!”
The outburst makes shame flood through his body, but it also only adds to the powerful sensation in his cock, his cum shooting across his chest.
Mark’s decides he’s definitely going to Hell for this.
Another Saturday win for the soccer team means another frat party, and Hyuck loves the attention you give him on days when he gets a goal. You’re even touchier than usual, praising him for his skills-
Yet, Hyuck finds it hard to focus on you with Mark blatantly staring from across the room.
Hyuck has enjoyed sharing you with his roommate, more than he ever thought he would, but tonight, he wants you for himself, and when you begin kissing his neck, pushing him against the wall, Hyuck’s had enough of this public bullshit.
“My room, now,” he commands.
With a giggle, you turn, darting off towards the stairs, and Hyuck follows you with a smile. As he climbs the steps in twos, he gets a feeling he’s being followed, and he stops on the first landing to turn and look at Mark.
“What are you doing?”
“Huh?” Mark blinks. “I’m uh… coming with you?”
“It’s Saturday.”
“So?”
“So,” Hyuck sighs, “you only get access to angels on Sundays, all good Christians should know that.”
“But-” Mark opens his mouth to argue but Hyuck’s not in the mood for it tonight.
“No joining,” he says firmly. But as he looks at Mark’s defeated expression, Hyuck feels something like pity. “I guess you can stand outside the door and listen, you perv.”
Mark’s skin flares with embarrassment, but as Hyuck continues up the stairs, he gets the suspicion that Mark’s going to do exactly what he’d just suggested.
When you arrive at the frat house on Sunday afternoon, Hyuck is waiting for you in the living room. He pulls you into a kiss, and his lips linger against your own, his fingers digging into your hips. “Are you ready for today, my little demon?”
You laugh. “I’m always ready. But we have to wait till Mark gets back from church.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Hyuck rolls his eyes. “We could always start without him.”
“That wouldn’t be very nice,” you note, grinning at your fuck buddy.
“Making me wait isn’t very nice,” Hyuck counters.
“It’s important to learn how to be patient,” you tell him, pressing another peck to his lips. “Come on, I’m sure we can find an episode of something to watch on Netflix.”
When you get to Hyuck’s room, the last thing you expect is to find Mark waiting for you. He’s sitting on his bed, staring at the floor, and his head snaps up as you enter.
“Mark?” You can’t hide your confusion. “Shouldn’t you be at church?”
“I’m not going today,” he states, standing and placing his cross necklace on the bedside table.
“Is something wrong?” you ask, walking over to grab his hands, assessing him for head injury.
“Everything is wrong,” Mark sighs. “Doing this with you two is wrong. Wanting you this badly is wrong. Getting hard in church is wrong. What I want to do to you is wrong. But… as crazy as it sounds, it also feels right.”
Hyuck lets out a whistle behind you, and you hear him locking the door. “Damn, Mark, I’m actually kind of impressed.”
“So…” you look into Mark’s eyes, “does this mean you’re ready?”
He nods. “Yeah… I’m ready.”
“Are you sure about that, church boy?” your fuck buddy asks. “Do you want us to put up a cross and see if it falls down as a sign that God thinks you’re a sinner?”
Mark takes a deep breath, and his eyes shift to Hyuck over your shoulder. “Fuck God, and fuck the cross.”
Your lips part in shock, and Mark takes that moment to grab your face and kiss you. It’s the hungriest kiss you’ve had from him so far, and you melt into his embrace, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and pressing your chest to his own.
His tongue explores yours, as confident as ever, and his hands move down to your hips, needy and rough. When his palm slips down to grab your ass, your moan loudly, all consumed by this new Mark.
“Shit, dude,” Hyuck whispers from behind you. “Guess I should stop calling you church boy.”
Mark lets out a groan, and then he’s tossing you onto his bed. A squeal of delight escapes you at the roughness of it all.
“I wanna taste you,” Mark states, breathing heavily as he looks down at you with dark eyes.
“Then taste me,” you say simply, already grabbing at your pants to push them down.
Mark helps you tug them off, and then his own fingers are hooking in the waistband of your panties, tearing them down your legs with one rough motion.
“Oh my God, Mark-” you gasp, shocked at his sudden change in attitude.
The man who gets on the bed between your legs isn’t the same man who had whimpered while he fingered you two weeks ago. He’s not a soft church boy worried about boundaries, he’s a confident man who knows what he wants. And what he want is you.
You can’t even take a moment to breathe before Mark’s pressing his tongue against your pussy, hands firmly grabbing at your thighs while he licks a stripe of your most sensitive area.
“Fuck,” you groan, reaching down to thread your fingers through his hair.
His response is a moan that sends shivers through your body, his lips suctioning around your clit like he’s a seasoned pro. There’s no hesitation or worry about correctness, there’s only a pussy deprived man who seems to know exactly what to do to have your toes curling as you drag them across his back.
You’ve had good oral sex before, Hyuck’s particularly skilled in this field, but as wild as your fuck buddy is, he’s never been feral like this.
Mark’s tongue is unpredictable, lapping at you and pushing into your hole, teasing your walls as he rubs his nose against your clit. “Shit, Mark, you’re so good-”
“Better than me?” Hyuck asks.
You hate to admit it, but when a strangled “Yes!” leaves your lips, it only makes Mark go harder on you.
You have no brain space to focus on Hyuck, your eyes closed as Mark’s tongue pleasures you like no one ever has before.
It’s like he knows your body already, as if he’s divinely guided-
The thought has your pussy throbbing, and as if he senses your need, Mark lets go of one of your thighs, adjusting so he can slip a finger into you while his tongue returns to your clit.
“Shit, just like that-” you gasp, legs quivering over his shoulders.
Another digits slips into your wet hole, and more moans leave you as the church boy finger fucks you even better than he did last time.
You’re consumed by Mark, completely, and it feels like Heaven to get lost in the pleasure he’s providing you.
You apply a bit of pressure on his head, wanting him to go harder on you, and he rewards you by sucking your clit into his mouth, tongue flicking the sensitive bud.
“Fuck-” you moan, pushing your hips up toward his face. You’re already so close to cumming that it’s almost insane, and you trust that this time, nothing Hyuck could do in your periphery would prompt Mark to let up on you.
He seems Hellbent on getting you to the edge, and as his fingers crook up to stroke your gspot, you know he’s going to accomplish his task with flying colours.
“Sounds like she’s close, dude,” Hyuck muses, reading your reactions like the back of his hand.
When you turn your head to open your eyes, you find Hyuck has his cock out, and he’s stroking it, gaze fixed on the man between your legs.
There’s something so… fulfilling about being watched like this. To know that Hyuck’s just as turned on as you and Mark, even though he’s taking no part in your pleasure.
Hyuck has a nice cock, and the sight of his fist wrapped tightly around it has even more lust coursing through your body.
To have both men worshipping you in this way- it’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
“I’m gonna-” you stutter, licking your lips as the pleasure builds between your legs.
“Cum for me,” Mark groans against your pussy. “Please, angel, I want you to cum.”
The ‘please’ is the cherry on top, as is the petname that usually only Hyuck ever uses on you, and combined, they throw you over the edge.
You cry out, rutting your pussy against Mark’s face while he tongue and finger fucks you through your orgasm.
The church boy lets out sinful sounds, and you can tell he’s enjoying being used like this, enjoying making you come undone on his fingers. Your pussy is throbbing around him, and his unrelenting digits continue stroking the spot that has you tinging with overwhelming pleasure.
“Mark!” you nearly scream, overtaken by the kind of ecstasy you’ve never felt before.
“Fuck, dude,” Hyuck breathes, “you made her squirt-”
You’re almost twitching when Mark finally pulls his tongue from your clit, and his fingers slow before slipping out of you. You open your eyes to watch him lick them clean, and he lets out a deep groan, clearly enjoying the taste of you.
You need him to fuck you, like you’ve never needed anyone - even Hyuck - to fuck you in your entire life.
“Please,” you whimper. “Mark-”
“Let me get a condom,” he states, sitting up-
“No!” you reach out to grab at him, locking eyes with him as you state, “I want you raw.”
It’s the first time today that he looks unsure. “I don’t-”
“I’m clean,” you insist, “and so are you-”
“Bruh, just raw dog it,” Hyuck says. “Trust us-”
With one last look between your thighs, Mark relents, and he gets back on the bed, tugging off his shirt and his pants while you work on getting yourself naked.
As soon as you’re both bare, Mark is laying his body over yours, pressing you into the bed while his lips move feverishly against your own. You tangle your fingers in his hair, enjoying the feeling of his cock trapped between your bodies, rubbing over your clit as he rocks his hips.
“Please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his hips. “Inside-”
Mark pulls away from your lips, breathing heavily as he looks into your eyes. His gaze shifts down, and he reaches a hand to grab the base of his length, teasing it against your pussy.
You moan loudly as he toys with your clit, and then he’s testing the head of his cock against your aching hole. The tip slips just inside and you whimper, only for him to pull back, then do it again-
“God, Mark-” You dig your nails into his shoulders, throwing your head back against the pillows and closing your eyes.
He pushes his cock deeper inside of you, and you both let out groans of pleasure. His mouth returns to yours while he slowly sinks into your pussy, until his hips are flush against your own.
“Fuck,” Mark whimpers, twitching from the new sensation.
“Told you raw was the way to go,” Hyuck says, as if he’s the most helpful person in the room.
Both you and Mark ignore your fuck buddy, and Mark takes a test thrust that has you both gasping.
“Just like that,” you encourage him. “Fuck, you’re doing so good-”
His lips return to yours, and the kiss takes your breath away as he begins to find a slow pace. Each thrust is deep, intentional, and in some odd way, this doesn’t feel like fucking. Fucking is hard, fast, fevered- but this is different. This is more like making love.
Mark sucks on your bottom lip, and he adjusts one of his hands so it can come up to grab at your breast, his thumb ghosting over your nipple and making you shiver. Your body reacts, pussy throbbing around Mark’s cock, and he groans into your mouth.
“Feels like Heaven,” he whispers, massaging your boob with a loving hand.
Your skin tingles at his words. You can take the church boy out of church, but you can't take the church out of the church boy.
His pace is getting faster, and each thrust has the pleasure building in the pit of your stomach. It’s insane how this is Mark’s first time- it sounds like he hadn’t gotten far with the last girl he’d had under him before the Jesus picture incident-
He’s an absolute natural, and each brush of his lips against yours has you feeling closer to him than ever before. His cock fits perfectly in your pussy, and the sounds continuing to escape him tell you that he feels just as good as you do.
“I’m not-” Mark gasps, kisses moving to your throat. “I’m not going to last long-”
“That’s okay,” you assure him, gently rubbing his back. “I’m proud of you.”
He groans, sucking on your neck. Mark’s hand moves down to your hip, anchoring you to the bed while he ruts into you faster. You know you’re close, but it can be hard to cum without clit stimulation, so you sneak your own palm down your abdomen, fingers seeking out your most sensitive spot.
You both groan when you make contact with your clit, and Mark’s breath is hot against your throat. “You close?” he asks.
“Almost,” you nod, rubbing soft circles around your clit while Mark’s cock slides in and out of your pussy.
“Ya’ll better cum quick or I might bust a nut just watching.” Hyuck’s voice makes you laugh, but the laugh quickly becomes a moan as Mark fucks you harder, fingers digging into your hip.
“I’m so close,” Mark whispers. “Please, this feels too good-”
“Mark,” you whimper, loving how sweetly he talks to you while buried balls deep in your pussy.
“Please, angel, I can’t hold on much longer-”
Your skin tingles at the idea that he’s working hard not to cum, that he won’t allow himself to get there until you can reach your high with him. He’s such a soft boy, the most perfectly wonderful man you’ve ever fucked-
“I’m gonna-” you bite at your lip, closing your eyes and focusing on the feeling of ecstasy that you’re so close to reaching-
“Cum with me,” Mark begs. “Cum with me, angel, cum-”
The desperation in his voice is what finally sends you over the edge, and you gasp as your core clamps down on him. Mark echoes your sound of pleasure, groaning loudly in your ear as his fingers dig into your hip.
You can feel him filling you up, and it makes you extra sensitive as you ride out your orgasm, clutching his shoulders like a lifeline.
To Mark’s credit, he fucks you through it, hips only faltering slightly before the end.
When you’re both done, you pull your hand away from your clit, and Mark all but collapses on top of you, breathing heavily as he buries his face against your neck.
You can hardly have a moment of peace with Mark before Hyuck’s pulling at his shoulder. “My turn,” your fuck buddy insists. “Come on dude, I’ve been waiting forever-”
A laugh bubbles out of you at Hyuck’s antics, and with a loud groan, Mark gets off of you. There’s a dazed look in his eyes as he rolls onto his back in the small twin bed next to you. You wonder if he’s going to just lay there-
Hyuck’s not having it, and he reaches down to scoop you up in his arms, tossing you onto his own mattress.
“Fuck, angel,” Hyuck looks down at your body. “How do you want it?”
You consider it for a moment, and then roll onto your stomach, lifting your hips as an invitation.
Hyuck groans loudly. “God, you’re perfect.”
He’s straddling your legs not a second later, grabbing your waist to tug you up a little bit more while he glides his cock between your closed thighs, grazing your pussy.
“Shit, this is going to be so good,” Hyuck mutters to himself, using one hand to wrap around the base of his cock and guide it to your entrance.
He moans as he slips inside. “Fuck- I’ve never banged you using another guy’s cum as lube before, but shit, angel, I could get used to this.”
His words make you feel dirty, sinful even, a little like a whore- but something inside of you actually enjoys it.
“Hyuck-” you whimper at how good the position feels. With your legs closed and your ass in the air, things feel more snug, and the angle has Hyuck hitting a sweet spot inside of you that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head.
“I know, angel,” Hyuck assures you. “Feels fucking fantastic.”
His breath is hot against your back as he begins rutting into you, and you grab onto Hyuck’s pillow, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne that has perfumed the material.
“You look so good like this,” your fuck buddy says, and the slapping of his hips against your ass is making you go crazy. “I’m never going to get used to the way you look with my cock buried in your perfect fucking pussy.”
Your grip on his pillow tightens, the praise going straight to your core, which throbs around him.
“Yeah, I know you love it when I praise you. You just love being made out to be an angel while doing dirty shit an angel would never do.”
He knows you so well it almost hurts. And when he talks to you like this, it makes you wonder why he hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. Although, if you had been his girlfriend a few weeks ago, you would have never propositioned Mark, and the idea makes you sad.
You open your eyes, looking over at the church boy you’ve come to enjoy spending time with.
Mark’s watching you, and as Hyuck fucks you harder, you have to break the eye contact in favour of pressing your face into the pillow. Your sounds are just getting too loud, even for a frat house.
Your pussy feels like magic, to have been fucked by Mark and now Hyuck- you know you’ll be cumming again soon, whether you want to or not.
“I can feel you clenching, angel,” Hyuck laughs, as if reading your mind. “So this is as good for you as it is for me.”
“So good,” you confirm, which only prompts him to fuck you faster, gliding in and out of your cum lubed hole easier than ever before.
“Watching Mark have you first was torture,” Hyuck tells you. “I was so close to busting multiple times- but I held out, because we both know you’re going to love being filled with us both. Dirty fucking angel.”
You whine at his words, so close to the edge you can almost taste it.
“Don’t be shy,” the man fucking you announces, “cum on this cock. I know you want to.”
Your skin tingles on the cusp of pleasure-
“Be a good little angel and cum for us.”
There’s something about the word ‘us’ that just does it for you, and you let out a loud gasp as you fall apart. Hyuck echoes your sound, fingers digging into your hips as he reaches his own release. He fucks you even harder, groaning while your pussy clenches around his twitching cock.
“Just like that, just like that-” he pants, encouraging you while he rides you through your highs.
You’re not sure how long you cum, but when Hyuck finally slows to a stop inside of you, you think you might just pass out from all the pleasure you’ve received in such a short time.
Your fuck buddy leans over your back, pressing a kiss to your shoulder that moves up to your neck, and you tilt your head to give him better access.
“That’s our angel,” Hyuck muses softly in your ear.
You find yourself smiling. It’s the happiest you’ve been in months.
Nothing else matters, all there is right now is safety and love and acceptance… and maybe a little bit of filth.
When Hyuck pulls out of your pussy, you feel yourself immediately begin to drip, and you do your due diligence, shifting your hand under your body to collect the fluid so it doesn’t ruin Hyuck’s bed.
Your fuck buddy grabs a few tissues, and then he’s sitting by your thighs, spreading your ass cheeks so he can get a good look at you while he groans at the sight.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he says, gently wiping your abused hole, cleaning you of his and Mark’s cum. “I don’t think you even know how hot you are.”
He’s probably right about that, but you’re sure that if you keep doing this with him and Mark, they’ll make you learn.
When Hyuck’s done with his very basic aftercare, he flops onto the bed behind you, back to the wall while he cradles you to his chest. His lips return to your shoulder, and the soft kisses make you whimper from sensitivity.
Then- something is falling on you, and you jolt, eyes snapping open-
“Shit,” Hyuck groans, and you realize the soccer poster has slipped off the wall and onto your bodies.
Your gaze immediately goes to Mark, and you see a look of shock in his expression. “Oh my God-”
“It’s not God,” Hyuck assures you both. “It’s probably just Jeno fucking some chick on the other side of the wall.” As if to prove his point, your fuck buddy bangs the wall three times, and a moment later there are three returned bang noises. “See? Totally just Jeno fucking.”
Mark doesn’t look very convinced, and he rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling while he runs his hands through his hair.
“I hope this fucking poster isn’t going to stop you from joining us again next Sunday,” Hyuck says as he pushes the symbol of Jeno’s sex life to the floor.
“Next Sunday?” Mark turns to look at you both.
“Yeah, next Sunday,” Hyuck repeats. “You do want to cum again, don’t you?”
The church boy lets out a deep sigh, but then he’s nodding. “Yeah.”
“Perfect, then it’s settled,” Hyuck grins against your shoulder.
Your fuck buddy is something of an enigma, and you’re never quite sure if you’ve gotten him figured out. He’d started this whole thing being reluctant to allow Mark to join, but now, it seems as if he relishes the thought of having Sunday dick appointments with his best friend.
Although, as you stare at the pretty church boy in the bed across from yours, you really can’t say that you mind.
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🔮 preview. “I’m bad?” Hyuck gasps in shock. “Says the people fucking in an accesibility washroom?” He has a point there, and even Mark lets out a chuckle while he presses his lips firmly to your neck, his hips beginning to thrust so he can glide his cock in and out of your wet pussy.“I expect this from her, but from you, church boy?” Hyuck shakes his head while leaning back against the locked door, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m still shocked by how sinful you’ve become.”
cw/ tw. Exhibitionism, threesome, hand job, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, mention of fingering and pussy eating, praise, some degradation with affectionate use of ‘whore/slut’, the constant ‘sin’ mentions, slight cumplay/leaving panties on after having 2 men’s cum in you, bathroom sex, etc… I petnames. (hers) angel. (mark’s) church boy.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2k I teaser wc. 270
🌙 staring. Haechan & Mark x afab!reader
bonus
It’s been something like four months since you and Hyuck invited Mark into your unconventional relationship, and so much has changed since then. Having battled for a long time with perceived self-worth, it seemed that the inclusion of a friend within the relationship was all Hyuck had needed to realize his deeper feelings for you, and feel comfortable enough to share them.
Now, Hyuck’s having the best sex of his life with his two best friends in the entire world. Despite Hyuck’s growth, however, it’s clear that the person most changed by your relationship is none other than the OG church boy himself.
Hyuck had thought he’d been horny when he entered university, but it feels as if Mark’s pent-up energy has made him significantly hornier.
Sitting in class, knowing you and Mark have a spare right now… well, Hyuck can only imagine what the two of you might be up to. As the lecture gets particularly boring, Hyuck pulls out his phone, opening snapchat maps to see if he can pinpoint you and his roommate.
Hyuck’s not shocked to find you were both active on snapchat ten minutes ago, in a building closeby. He’d never been one for maps, but since you and Mark had started fucking, Hyuck had been forced to learn all feasible sexcipade locations on campus. If he’s not mistaken, you and Mark are in one of the single occupancy accessibility bathrooms on the first floor of the arts building, and the thought makes him swallow thickly.
With one last look at his boring teacher, Hyuck grabs his backpack and he slinks out of the lecture hall.
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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)
Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.6 K Warnings: none Prompt: What about the rest of the school. This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Not proofread
Chapter 59: Break On Through
You stayed like that, being cuddled by your boys for some more time, just basking in the reassurance of their warmth. No one said anything for a while, but the silence seemed to be the perfect way of wrapping up the previous conversation. Eventually, you sighed and looked at the clock.x
“Do you guys think we can still make it to dinner?”
“We can bring you some food from the kitchen,” Sirius offered.
“You can also take my chocolate,” added Remus. “I’ve got some in my pocket.”
“I think I’d rather have dinner at the great hall,” you said. “Besides… we still have some planning to do.”
“What do you mean, Étoile? What planning?”
“Well, didn’t you say we would infest the school with toads back at Prong’s house?” You asked with a smirk.
Dinner went all right, the entire school knew about the fire at Rosier’s Christmas Party, but they had covered their –and in turn your– tracks very well. It was as if only a few people knew about the Dark Wizard convention that it had actually been.
They had published a whole article about the fire, about it being caused by unforeseen causes, and about it being fierce and of dark nature, which was why they couldn’t control it. Your father took back the mention of your implication and ended up saying you ran away because you were upset over your mother’s passing, and that he would give you space.
They’d added an “in memoriam” section in which they remembered all the deceased on the fire, which included the honourable Cygnus Black of the Noble House of Black, your mother Avis, some other wizards that you didn’t recognise but that you were pretty certain had also been dark wizards, and, of course, near the end, there was Frey and Nina Blythe. In the paper, they claimed they had both been invited to the party and that, unfortunately, they had been way too close to the origin of the fire. There was no mention of the other pile of bodies that you’d seen, but if they had all been muggles, it was no surprise.
At the end of the paper, there was a small caption that said: The Daily Prophet sends their gratitude to Arkalis, Orion and Silas for sharing the facts with us, without them we wouldn’t have been able to tell the story of The Great Fire Of Christmas. You took the newspaper, bunched it up in a ball and threw it on the floor, you would have burned it if you didn’t hate the idea of the few eyes that weren’t on you to turn your way.
News really did fly in the wizarding world, the Slytherin table was crowded with students; everyone was trying to talk to the few who had been invited to the party, but none of them seemed to want to speak much about it. Barty was talking about his amazing vacation in Thailand, and Evan was sitting next to him with his mouth completely shut.
Regulus, had almost jumped out of his seat when he spotted you but figured he would have instantly diverted all of the attention on his table towards you and he knew that would be a terrible idea, so instead he sent you a look, you gave him a short nod in response and he turned back to respond a question from a Hufflepuff girl that you recognised as the same who had tried to flirt with Sirius back when you were James, Zia. She wanted to know if he had seen how the fire started, and if you had actually had anything to do with it.
“I was with her most of the night. She wasn’t even close to the ignition point,” he retorted, loud enough for her and about the other half of people loitering next to them to hear. Reggie knew there wasn’t much he could do, but making sure your name stayed out of the school gossip was something that he could manage.
“But why did her father mention that she might have been–” the girl insisted with a pout and a rather petulant tone.
“Don’t you think Chancellor Silas was affected by the passing of his wife while he gave that first interview?” Regulus retorted before she could even finish her sentence. “She’s my friend, and I won’t tolerate people bad-mouthing her for the words of a grief-stricken man.”
“You’re friends with that Gryffindor?” an older Slytherin boy asked.
“And he’s not the only one!” intervened Dorcas, her imposing glare was enough to shut him up. Solacis sent a wink her way and then turned back to the conversation he had been having with Nox.
When Reggie joined the conversation of the two boys (that was thankfully focused on Quidditch since the Cannons were close to winning the championship) the Hufflepuff girl huffed and walked towards Evan and Barty, to see if she could get information from either of them.
You used Remus and Sirius as a shield from prying eyes until you reached your table. “Pete,” you said extending your hands when you spotted the blond and leaned in to give him a tight hug. Peter had read about Christmas in the papers and while he had been queasy, James ’ letters had been enough reassurance, (he had no idea about your fight with Sirius since eveyone had been too wrapped up in themselves to worry about the news, last thing Peter knew was that you were at the Potter’s. “How was your vacation?”
“It was fun,” he said with a smile and leaned in to give a short hug to the two boys flaking you. “I heard you’re in on the prank now?”
You smiled, “I’m always in on the prank. Did you finish your quest?”
He nodded as he patted his bag, “And you two?” he asked as he nodded towards Remus and you.
You both had a good idea of the combination of spells that you wanted to use, you had talked about it, but you had never gotten to the creating/testing part.
“Kind of,” you said with an apologetic smile. “Where are the girls?” You asked as you realized none of your other friends were there.
“They had dinner at the Three Broomsticks,” James said, they said they would stay and unpack, but Wormmy wanted dinner.”
“I was starving!” Peter responded. “My mum wanted to put me on a stupid diet and when I got here, I was–” he looked at you and cut himself off as if what he was about to say was not apt for your ears. If only he knew you’d seen him inside the broom closet in the map, “–active, and then the elves said there would be meat pies.”
“I guess it gives us time to plan things out,” you said as you took some bread from the table and added some butter to it.
“We’re setting it at night, right?” James asked, looking pleased with the fact that you had walked in with Remus and Sirius, with that smile of his that screamed “I know something that the rest don’t”.
“I guess I could come over after unpacking,” you shrugged.
“You can take my cloak,” James said with a nod, he was making himself a very thick sandwich with roast beef, lettuce, tomato and… bacon?
Your mouth watered at the idea of that sandwich, but decided not to go ham with the meat yet (pun intended), not when you hadn’t eaten it in days, it seemed like it could make your stomach upset. You did add a few stripes of bacon to your cheese and veggie sandwich thought. You were looking for something to add as a dressing when you saw Sirius’ hand sneakily cross over to your plate and take a piece of bacon from your sandwich.
“Sirius!” you complained as he plopped the piece onto his mouth.
“Sorry luv, there wasn’t any left on the table.”
You scoffed, and you were about to argue again when Remus took a piece from his plate and placed it over your sandwich, you turned to him with a surprised gaze. “Rem, you don’t have to do that, Sirius and I were just–”
“But I wanted to,” he retorted with a sneaky smile and then gave Sirius a bit of a challenging look, which had the other boy scoff. This was not a contest, but if it had been one, then Sirius was determined to win it. You were eating your sandwich when the main dish turned into dessert, and the table was filled with all sorts of cakes, muffins, scones, meringues, pies and cookies. Sirius grabbed a few of your favourite cookies and dropped them on your plate, about at the same time, Remus had seen your favourite pie, pulled it from the bunch, and placed it on your plate.
They threw each other a look, and in between bites of your sandwich, your plate started to –rather quickly– get filled with all of the desserts you normally enjoyed (not that you ever enjoyed them all at once!).
“What’s with those two?” Peter asked as he leaned closer to James, who just shrugged.
“Haven’t they always been a little crackers?”
You gave James a look and he winked your way. You were on the last bite of your sandwich when Sirius added another cookie to the pile and caused it to collapse over your clothes. Your top getting filled with merengue and bits of lemon curd while Sirius looked at you in shock and Remus threw him a murderous gaze. You picked up some of the merengue and brought it to your mouth, “Whichever of you fools picked the lemon tart was actually brilliant,” you said as you savoured it. Sirius threw a satisfied “I won” sort of look at Remus who just narrowed his eyes even further. “Shame it got all over their face,” you added with a shrug, you got a confused look from Sirius before you took your already messy hand and spread its lemon curd and meringue all over his face.
“Starshine!” he complained with a gasp, which had your smile widening. He brought his hands to his face to wipe some of the meringue from his eyes. “Ugh! You’ve even gotten it on my hair!”
“You got it on my jumper,” you retorted diverted while you took a piece of the cookie stuck in the sleeve and plopped it to your mouth.
“Yours? Since when?” Remus complained. He’d given it to you before you came for dinner since he noticed you were a little cold.
“Well,” you said as you brought your hand back into the mess in the sweater, “I think it was since…” You picked up some of the meringue with your finger and then drew it towards him, but he was quicker than Sirius and grabbed your wrist in the air before it hit his face.
“You were saying?” He asked with an amused face.
You didn’t miss the teasing “Ufffff…” that Sirius emitted from the background.
“I was saying that,” you said as you pulled your free hand towards the dessert pile and tried to dig it into some more pie.
“Careful, little fox,” Sirius intervened as he pulled your hand from the pile before you even managed, you huffed in response.
“You’re no fun,” you added with a pout.
“Oh, we’re plenty fun,” Sirius said as he eyed Remus, silently communicating something. “Aren’t we Moony?”
“Delightfully so,” the latter confirmed.
“We’ll show you just how much,” Sirius added with a confident smile and leaned over to kiss you, making sure to have his face so close to yours that he was basically transferring your previous mischief back at you, all the while he cornered you against Remus. You were laughing and trying to push Sirius away as he kissed you.
“Rem,” you said in between kisses, “help, I’m being attacked,” you joked.
“But you were going to attack me, sweetheart,” he retorted, leaning to the side enough so you wouldn’t actually have an escape route. He then took a napkin and carefully wiped your finger, he had thought of licking the stuff away, and he knew that he’d fluster you if he did, but Peter was already looking at the three of you with a rather shrewd gaze, and he didn’t want to make it too obvious before either of you were ready to tell him about it. Regardless, he did lean over a little closer and whispered, just loud enough for the two of you to hear, “Besides I’m rather enjoying the view…”
You had gotten so flustered after he said it, that you were glad Sirius had spread meringue all over your face, and was still all over you, meaning his hair was covering most of your reaction. Eventually, you gave in and kissed Sirius back, ignoring the sticky meringue and the getting lost on his lips. You were both almost propped on Remus’ lap, and you could feel his hand on your neck, a soft pressure, as it to let you know he too was there, and he was enjoying it almost as much as Sirius was.
James, who knew about the entire drama, was actually pretty happy with the fact that you and Sirius were back together, and while he would have been the first one to complain in a normal situation, this time around he was just sneakily looking at Remus, who was trying really hard not to blush under his friend’s suggestive gaze.
“Get a room,” Peter said after clearing his throat for the fourth time. You and Sirius burst out laughing, and he dug his head into your nack, getting even more meringue all over you.
“Such an asshole,” you said as you pushed him off, and he just kept on laughing.
“As if you didn’t snog Annie Doxon like that,” Remus retorted with a wink.
“Or worse,” you muttered as you looked for a napkin. Remus heard it, and had to hold back a laugh, masking it with a short cough. He took his handkerchief and started wiping away some of the pie from your face.
“But not in public!” Pete retorted with a scandalized tone.
“Remus was shielding us from the public,” Sirius said with a shrug. “And the table, I mean did you see anything other than my hair?”
Remus gave you a teasing look, a small raise of his eyebrows as the two listened to their bittering. He had his hand on your chin and was now cleaning some of the lemon curd on your left cheek. He was clearly enjoying himself.
“But we still knew!” Wormmy argued.
Their little discussion went on for a while. Remus had even finished with his –actually quite slow– wiping off your face and you were both already eating some of the treats while Sirius and Peter kept going on about the do’s and don’ts of PDA. James had actually started paying closer attention to the conversation and sometimes added points for and against their arguments.
“But listen, a small peck is fine, straight-up snogging makes it awkward!”
“Well you could just not watch,” Sirius argued. “You couldn’t even see it.”
“But I could hear it! I cannot imagine how awkward it must have been for poor Moony.”
“Mmmm, yeah, totally awkward,” Remus said with a small smirk, his sole purpose was to piss Sirius off slightly.
“Shut up Moony, you enjoyed it,” Sirius said before turning back to Peter. “I mean, you could just cover your ears.”
Remus leaned closer to you and whispered, “And he doesn’t even know how much.” You turned to him as you almost choked with your own spit. He just gave you a pleased smirk in retort.
“Or use a spell,” James suggested, oblivious to Remus’ teasing, thankfully.
“No. But you don’t get it–” Pete started, clearly exasperated. At this point, you weren’t sure if Sirius was actually in on his point, or he was just getting a kick from getting a rise out of Wormmy.
By the time the dishes disappeared, Sirius and Peter had agreed to disagree. Sirius insisted that PDA shouldn’t be vetoed, while Peter claimed that it wasn’t about vetos, but rather about being empathic of other people.
“They don’t want to see you snogging Vixen, it makes it awkward.”
“Well I think they kind of enjoy it,” Sirius said with a shrug. “No one complains when people snog in movies.”
“For Godric’s sake, this is never gonna end, is it?” Remus said.
You grabbed a piece of chocolate and started munching on it casually as he joined the conversation. “We need to unpack, how about you continue your little snogging or not quarrel in our room.”
“Moony that’s a terrible idea, we won’t sleep if they do,” James intervened.
“The reason we’re not going to sleep, is actually quite different,” you added with a smile.
“That’s what she said!” Sirius teased, you threw him a look and he returned it with a wink.
“Perv,” you joked.
“But Vix is right, if we want our little stunt to be ready by tomorrow, we better get moving.”
You sighed, letting your head lean on Remus’ shoulder. “I should probably unpack too.”
“And see Lily, she was worried,” James intervened.
You picked some of the desserts that had not been squashed and placed them on a napkin so you could snack while preparing the prank (although Peter had also veered off from the rest when he claimed he’d get some more sugar from the elves).
“See you in a bit,” you said as you stepped out of the great hall.
James waited just until Pete was out of earshot before he spoke, “Will you tell him about your thing?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said.
“We’re not sure when, thought,” Remus chimed.
“We’re still figuring our thing out,” you added.
“Yeah? And what is it?”
“Ménage a trois,” you responded James question. “James, don’t you dare laugh!”
“I’m sorry,” he retorted with a smirk, “It’s just, I mean, it works.”
“Indeed,” Sirius said with a proud sort of expression. By then you had already reached the the end of the stairs.
“Password,” the lady in the portrait sang.
“Doodledeefondling,” Remus said confidently and the lady smiled.
“Mr. Lupin. Always knowledgable.” She smiled and opened the door. “It’s nice to see the rest of you troublemakers.”
“Troublemaker?” you said with a scoff as you turned to look at her and got softly pushed by Sirius to walk inside. “I’m not a troublemaker!”
“You kind of are,” James said with a shrug. “You wouldn’t be a Marauder if you weren’t.”
“But Remus gets to be–” you changed your pitch into a higher mocking one– “Always knowledgable” –your tone went back to normal– “And I’m troublemaker?!?”
“To me, you’re a doll,” Remus said with a shrug. You turned to him with shock for like the fifth time that night. You were not used to his flirting, even if you quite enjoyed the flips in your stomach it caused.
James groaned. “Will I now have to deal with the three of you flirting with each other all the time?”
“Suck it up Prongs, it’s better than when we were fighting,” you retorted.
“Yeah, and nous sommes amoureux.”
“That’s ‘we’re in love’,” you said as you leaned closer to Remus since you’d noticed he often felt left out when Sirius did the french thing.
“Yeah, I got that one,” Remus said with a sneaky smile and passed his arm over your shoulder. “Seadh, tha sinn gu cinnteach ann an gaol.”
“I’m going to convince Hope to get me a copy of that fancy dictionary of hers,” you said with a sigh.
“Faodaidh tu feuchainn,” he retorted with a shrug.
You had promised to write Hope, and you had exchanged a few letters while you were at the Potters’, perhaps it wouldn’t be such a terrible idea to actually ask her for a copy of her dictionary –you were sure Lyall would be able to make a copy of it using a simple gemino, although books were a lot harder to duplicate than most things, sometimes the text got messed up and resulted in hilarious (mostly non-sensical) text.
“We’re going to our room,” James said as you reached the stairs, “See you later?”
You nodded. “Try and collect all the s-bombs in one place, I’ll bring the books we talked about,” you said as you looked at Rem. He nodded in return, he was biting his bottom lip as he tried to hold back a smile.
“We really should have seen it earlier,” Sirius said as he looked at the two of you interact.
James, who was looking at Sirius pretty much gawking at you both nodded, “And I’m the extra blind one… Hey Vix,” he called your way, as he pulled the invisibility cloak from his bag and threw it your way, “don’t get yourself in more trouble.”
“Can’t help it,” you said with a smirk as you caught the cloak. “Didn’t you hear Lady MacDougal? She said I’m a troublemaker…”
“Lady McDougal?” Sirius asked with a frown.
“The Fat Lady,” Remus said as he threw him a side glance.
“She has a name?” he asked shocked.
“You thought she was Fat Lady?” you asked with a frown.
James gulped, “Where did you two even learn that? Is it on a book?”
“It’s not on a book,” you said with a frown. Both boys looked pretty shocked still. “Are you telling me, you’ve been living here for almost seven years and you never once thought of asking her name?”
“You did?” Sirius asked.
“Of course I did! I was not going to say ‘Good evening Fat Lady, could you please let me in?’ She would have left me outside!”
“I just say the password,” James said with a shrug.
“And that’s why you’re troublemakers and I’m Always knowledgable,” Remus said with a smile.
You laughed and shook your head as you started to walk up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories. Just before you lost sight of them, you turned around, “I’ll bring the Instant Darkness Powder.”
Sirius gave you a suggestive wink and you were tempted to throw the cloak at his face, but Remus was quick to turn him around and pull him to walk the other way. At least one person has common sense in this relationship, you thought. Huh, turns out we really did need a third one in the end…
By the way, you reached your room, you hesitated at the door for a few seconds. Last time you’d seen –and talked– to any of the girls had been at the party. And while most of them believed you had been “sick” as Effie told everyone, Lily knew –thanks to James not keeping his mouth shut– that you had left his house.
James had sent her a letter asking if you were staying with her or any of the girls (which would have been a way better idea than staying alone in Diagon, you should have thought of that before casting yourself out like you had been exiled from their lives all together). Again, James proved to have way more common sense than any of you did, surprisingly.
You took a deep breath and walked inside. “Hey, Luv!” Marlene said when she spotted you, “Was hoping to see you on the train, everything all right?”
“Yeah,” you replied, a little shocked by her casual tone, but at the same time immensely thankful. Mary came up to hug you after Marlene did. Lily was the last, a little hesitant as she looked at you and then pulled you into a very tight hug.
“We need to talk,” she said sternly as she pulled you to her. You swallowed thickly at her words. There was a lot you had to tell her, and you were immensely glad that you still had friends who cared about you as much as James and Lily did, even if both wanted to murder you for being so stupid. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was scared.”
“I went through a lot,” you whispered back. “But as many sad news I have to tell, there are good ones too.”
Lily pulled back with an arched eyebrow and a hint of a smile. You nodded, and as you looked at your beautiful friend, you noticed that just behind her fiery hair there was something that you had not expected to ever see again. Sirius’ portrait of you.
Lily noticed your lost gaze and turned around, instantly seeing the picture, and then your gaze roaming all over your bed. Your things, everything you had left at your apartment (including the snake plushie from the Slytherins) were neatly placed on your bed, along with a currant-coloured envelope.
“It was there when we got here,” Lily said. “When Marlene saw it was from Silas she was pissed, she almost burst it into flames.”
“From Silas…” you repeated as you looked. Not quite daring to approach it just yet. “He sent my stuff back?”
“And a gift too,” Marlene said with a rather angry tone. “If he really thinks a little something is going to atone for telling the press that you started the fire then he better–”
“Marlene–” Mary said a little sternly. “It’s not your fight.”
“It is! It’s OUR fight, she’s our friend and if you won’t say anything against her piece of shit father then I will!”
You smiled, you saw where both girls were coming from, their personalities shining through their thoughts almost perfectly, and you were glad to have them in your life, “It’s all right,” you said with a small smile. “I understand.”
“Will you read it?” Mary asked as you approached the bed and took the envelope in your hands.
Truthfully, your first thought upon seeing the envelope and the shiny red box behind it was to burn them as well –so much for not being deemed an arsonist– but you had done that to a letter before, and it had only brought you heartache. And while you didn’t expect whatever was in Silas’ letter to be nearly as revealing as Regulus’, something told you it wouldn’t be clever to get rid of it, at least not until you were ready to read it.
“Not yet,” you said as you picked the envelope from the bed. It felt heavy in your hands, even if it wasn’t physically so, it was as if you were holding some type of weapon. You opened a drawer and shoved it to the end of it before closing it with colloportus. Not because you didn’t trust your friends, but rather because you didn’t want to accidentally open it yourself, see the letter and ruin your day. You then looked at the box, and pushed it under the bed before you allowed yourself to fall on the it with a small frown.
“I’ll help you unpack,” Lily said as she opened your suitcase.
“You don’t have to,” you said as you sat on the bed rather quickly. “I was just going to leave it there until I–”
“I’m already done with my stuff, and I think the girls were going down for some refreshments.”
“Tell me if you want it gone,” Marlene said nodding to the drawer you’d placed the letter in. “I won’t hesitate.”
“I know,” you told her. You truly appreciated her support.
“Good,” she said with a smile while Mary sighed.
“Do you need anything?” she asked. “We’re going to see if Ackley has something good. I heard he brought muggle snacks.”
“Can you get us some Oreos?” Lily asked turning to Mary. “Have you tried them?” She added while turning to look at you and Marlene. Neither of you had. “Let’s hope he has some. And milk, we should get our hands on some milk.”
“I think we can transfigure that one.”
“We can?” Lily asked as if surprised by your suggestion.
“I mean, I have the book, you have the expertise.” The three girls laughed after that, and Marlene and Mary left the room shortly after.
Lily’s face quickly turned into one of concern. “What happened?”
You took a deep breath. You weren’t sure you were ready to tell the story yet again, but you thought that perhaps skipping past the worst thing and focusing on the positive side would be a good idea, so you went with that.
“...and now we’re all dating,” you said in the end.
Lily was completely dumbfounded, you had sped through telling the story (especially the part in Gringotts) and she had listened to you quietly, not wanting to interrupt you at all since she was scared you’d just stop talking altogether. So she didn’t say a thing when you told her about running away from the Potters, or when you told her about the chair almost attacking you in the room. She was quiet as you mentioned Gringotts and the mirror, and she seemed truly happy when you told her you’d resolved things with the boys.
When she was sure you wouldn’t be speaking again, she pulled you into a tight hug, “My God, I’m glad you’re okay!” She said as she pulled you closer. “James said he was scared, I read about the party through your letters, and I’ve been keeping up with the newspaper, and I thought– well James was quick to reassure me, I was so happy you were staying with Remus, and then with the Potters but when you left his house, and there were news of other attacks on the Quibbler –that’s a new magazine they’re publishing, the creator graduated last year, and I knew him– I was even more scared for you! You should have sent me a letter or something you idiot!”
“I didn’t want anybody to know where I was,” you said, “I thought I didn’t deserve it.”
Lily sighed closing her eyes and biting her lip at your words, “Nina would have never wanted that.”
Tears prickled your eyes after she said that. “I’m aware,” you said as you looked to the side and tried to blink them away. “She was always there, some part of her at least, and it was… protecting me, in the snow and in the mirror, she–” you bit your lip, and took in a ragged breath.
Lily brought you back into the hug, “If I were her…” Lily started. And the worst part was, that she really could have been. She might have been older, but she was as much a muggle-born as Nina. “If I had been her, I wouldn’t blame you, I’d be protecting you too. And I think you should really continue using her wand.”
You turned to look at it, now lying on the bed, long, thin, and certainly powerful. You would, the painful reminder of her every time you saw it would become the fuel to keep you going and to protect your friends above everything, just like she’d done.
“I know,” you said with a sigh.
“Now, on the other subject…” she said as she pulled back while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
“Godcric heavens, please no,” you said as you hid your head between your hands.
“Why not? I think it’s nice,” she said with a smile. “I mean as long as you’re actually happy with the result,” she added, looking at you attentively.
You turned to look at her, you’d had plenty of friends before, but never someone as sweet and caring as Evans (unless you counted Remus, but he was your boyfriend now). “Trust me,” you said with as you took a deep breath. “I’m more than happy with the result.”
“Oh, there’s a story behind that,” she said with a smile, shaking your shoulder for you to continue talking.
“Well remember Marlene’s party? The dare?”
Lily thought about it for a second and then straight up gasped. “Oh shut the fuck up, Sirius was into it, wasn’t he? How didn’t we figure this out sooner? We’re supposed to be the clever ones!”
“Blinded by love,” you said with a shrug. “It’s the only way I can explain my stupidity.”
She laughed at your words, mostly because she realised how true it was. The entire thing had started around the same time her relationship with James took off and she had been a little distracted by and with him. Not to mention he was almost always around the other marauders, which meant if everyone was interacting together, Lily wasn’t paying nearly as much attention to the rest of the boys as she would have.
Lily helped you place some of the books from your bag in your desk (as neatly as she had accommodated hers) while you focused on putting all of your clothes back in your trunk and on some of the drawers in the wardrobe you shared with her. She was rather curious about your new relationship and she kept asking you questions about it, a few that you hadn’t even known how to respond, which had made both of you laugh merrily.
Marlene and Mary came back while you were finishing up, their hands filled with all kinds of treats, both muggle and wizard by the looks of it. “They had Oreos!” Mary said excitedly.
“What’s that book you mentioned?” Lily asked while checking the shelf over your desk. “Is it The Transfiguration Tome: From Basics to Brilliance?”
“No, I think it’s on Mastering... ugh…”
“Mastering Metamorphosis: An Advanced Guide to Transfiguration?”
“Yes! That one,” you said excitedly, and took the book when she passed it over, flipping through the pages until you found the right spell, “All we need is a jar of water…”
On it, Marlene said as she brought it over from her bedside table. “Relashio scatere,” she whispered, and a stream of water left her wand, quickly filling the jar. She then turned to Lily with a smile, “Your turn.”
She was reading through the spell with a small frown, “I wonder if an alteration to this one could give us something like chocolate or strawberry milk.”
“I mean if not, we could probably figure out a spell that could.”
Lily did the wand movements without casting the spells a couple of times before she approached the jar “Aqua vertere Lactos,” she said. The water quickly turned into white liquid. The four of you stared at it expectantly.
“Think it worked?” Mary asked.
Lily frowned, “I’m not entirely sure, I fear I might have said something–” Marlene had already taken a gulp, and the expression she made was priceless.
“Sour milk,” she said with that same disgusted frown as she tried to shake away the taste from her tongue. “We made sour milk.”
“Let me check,” Mary said as she pulled the book from Lily’s lap. “I think I known the problem, It’s lactis, not Lactos.”
Marlene gave a look at the two girls, and stood up, taking the jar with sour milk and bringing it along to the bathroom.
“It sounds the same, though,” Lily replied with a frown.
“Is it an i or an e?” You asked.
“An I,” Mary retorted, showing you the page.
“In Spanish, the I sounds like e, maybe it should sound like lact-es? Spanish and Latin are pretty much cousins, right?”
“Well, technically…” Lily started, Latin would be more like the mother of Spanish, but the information felt almost irrelevant at that point. “Actually, never mind, let’s try it that way,” she said in the end.
Marlene had already returned from the bathroom, jar freshly filled and mouth still tasting slightly of that sour flavour that she found particularly distasteful. “Quick, I want to get this flavour off my mouth.”
“Don’t pressure genius,” Mary said as she lightly hit Marlene on the arm.
Marlene was about to retort, when Lily did the spell again “Aqua vertere Lactes.”
The liquid, once again, turned white. Marlene looked at it, but this time she did not go straight to drink it. “Well then, try it,” Mary said as she motioned towards the jar with her head.
“I tried it last time, it’s your turn.”
“But I’m showing you the Oreos, it can’t be my turn!” Mary reasoned. The two girls turned to look at Lily, who seemed mortified at the idea of trying the milk.
“I’ll do it,” you said as you took a small teacup and served yourself some of it.
“So brave,” Marlene said dramatically as you brought the tea to your lips.
“And?” Mary asked as you took the first gulp.
You kept a serious face for a second, and then smiled, “Milk!”
“Yeah?” Lily asked with a satisfied smile.
“I mean, it might be a little watered down, like Low Fat Milk, I think.”
“Wait, really?” Marlene asked and served some herself. “Also a little like Mooncalf milk,” she added.
“Shit, that’s right!” you retorted after taking another sip. “It’s pretty much like Mooncalf milk.”
“Mooncalf milk?” Mary asked with a small frown, “Those things have milk?”
“Yeah,” you responded. “Pretty delicious, it’s good on potions too, though a little expensive since they aren’t all that easy to milk.”
“I’ve heard they use it on sleeping draughts and a Valerian Spring tea with some of that will for sure knock you out. My nan used to make it for me and Margo when we had nightmares.”
“Right, mine did that too, although she never used Valerian Spring, she used Lavender,” you retorted.
“Weirdos,” Mary said as she looked at Lily, they had both also served themselves a cup and were hesitant to taste it. Lily was the first one, and nodded, it did taste like low-fat milk, and she assumed the “mooncalf” taste that you and Marlene found had to do with the tinge of sweetness near the end.
“It’s good, try it,” Lily said as she nodded towards Marlene who was still looking at the milk like it had come from outer space. She eventually did take a sip and seemed pretty satisfied with the taste as well.
“It’s like the milk left after you’ve eaten all the Frosties,” she said towards Lily who nodded.
“What’s that?” Marlene asked.
“Muggle cereal,” you retorted. You had tried it on a muggle hotel once. Silas had encouraged you to try all the interesting muggle food in the buffet. He’d mentioned something about broadening your horizons outside of the Wizarding World. You wondered how someone like him could be both open to the world and a complete bastard at the same time. “So what’s with the Oris?”
“Oreos,” Mary corrected and pulled out a white and blue box with a little yellow “One Pound Size” label at the top, and the name OREO in capital letters with a small dot at the end.
“Oh, they look like Bourbon Biscuits.”
“They don’t have bourbon,” Mary said as she opened the box and laid them out in front of you.
“Well that makes them less cool than Bourbon biscuits,” Marlene said with a pout.
“Shut it,” Mary said and handed over a small plastic bag with round sandwich cookies on the inside, “Only they could compare Oreos to Burbon Biscuits,” Mary said almost exasperated.
Marlene pouted playfully and opened the bag. Lily took a cookie and held it in her hands. “Okay, hear me out, this is how you eat them,” she said before splitting the cookie, licking the inside, putting it back together and dipping it in the milk.
“Why?” asked Marlene with a frown.
“Why?” asked Mary, almost scandalised. “Have I ever asked you why you always put on your left sock before the right one? It’s just because!”
“But is it a rule? Like on the package or something?” You asked next.
“It’s in the commercials!” Lily said, taking the cookie out of her milk, shaking it a little and bringing it to her mouth. Once she swallowed her first bite she seemed genuinely satisfied. “You gotta savour it.”
You shrugged, and muttered a small “well then,” before you took a cookie from the bag and followed Lily’s instructions. The filling didn’t taste like much, but the cookie did become pretty soft once you dipped it in the milk, which you thought was nice. Even after you accidentally left it on the milk for too long and it got so soft that it broke inside your cup.
“What the–” you said. Marlene seemed just as puzzled when hers did the same.
“What?” Asked Mary.
“It broke,” Marlene retorted, trying to fish hers out with her wand.
“Ah, right,” Lily said right after swallowing her cookie. “They are not charmed against getting soggy like wizard biscuits.”
“That’s so weird,” Marlene said as she managed to levitate the soggy cookie and brought it to her mouth, “and mushy,” she added with her mouth full.
Both Lily and Mary laughed, while you attempted to fish the cookie with a small teaspoon.
Mary had also brought some other snacks and you all enjoyed a pretty delicious and fun “Welcome Back” feast of sweets. They had brought other muggle stuff like Walkers Crisps, Flying Saucers, Nice Biscuits and Jammie Doggers. The latter of whichLily seemed to like a lot and neither of you skipped the chance to tease her about. See, Jammie, was just a letter away from Jamie, and when Marlene said: “Don’t eat James yet!” you all bursted out into a laugh.
Lily froze as you said that, completely confused by her words when Marlene pointed at the packaging of the cookies. She did say it was Jammie as in Jam, not as in Jamie, but not even Mary cared about the technicalities and continued teasing her about it.
They had also gotten a few Aero bars, and you asked to keep one after tasting them. You weren’t sure if Remus had tired them but you thought they were pretty interesting with their bubbly texture and whatnot, and since Rem had always been a fan of chocolate –or chocolate connoisseur, as Sirius called him– you thought it would be nice to take some for him.
“I’m so full,” Marlene said as she allowed herself to fall back on the floor. “I might not sleep today.”
“As if,” Mary laughed. “You sleep like a log!” Marlene just answered with a disgruntled groan.
“Shall we fix this up?” Lily asked as she waved her wand over it. The wrappers went straight to the trash while the leftover treats neatly accommodated themselves in a box that Marlene kept under her bed.
“So talented,” you said with a yawn as you looked at her dreamily, she pushed you by the shoulder playfully after that.
“I swear, you two would make a fantastic couple,” Mary said. “If only you weren’t dating two idiots.”
You were about to defend both of your boys when Lily answered for you, “But they’re lovely!” You ended up laughing after that. Not because you didn’t think they were, but because she didn’t even bother to correct her. “Besides, like Holden is any better!” Marlene gasped at that and threw a small cushion on Lily’s face. “Oi,” the latter complained.
Mary yawned after that, “Let’s just sleep!” She said, almost a little petulantly, her yawn had been so contagious you followed right up –not that you could actually sleep.
Marlene pulled the box from the floor as she stood up and left it under her bed before walking to the bathroom, washing her teeth and dropping on the bed. “Are you sleeping here?” Lily asked, almost in a whisper.
“I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much tonight,” you replied honestly. She gasped, eyes wide at the implication that. “It’s not like that!” you rushed out. “We’re planning something.”
“Is it like… Marauders' business?”
“I’ll absolve you of blame by keeping you in the dark,” you retorted. Mary was still in the bathroom, wrapping her hair carefully like she did all the time before bed. It was the only way in which her curls would look as wonderful as always in the morning. Not to mention the potion she had already become a master at brewing.
Lily sighed, “I think Severus is on perfect duty tonight, you should be careful.”
You smiled, “Thank you,” you said. “Not just for this. For everything.”
“It’s what friends are for,” she replied with a smile and a small shrug. “Anything I should know? Things like bringing an umbrella, making sure my clock is set at the right time, staying away from a certain classroom–”
“You like toads?” you asked.
“Only the chocolate ones,” she replied.
You nodded, “Then maybe… don’t leave the room at all,” you responded with a mischievous air and she gasped.
Your full name was uttered in the most cheerful tone you had ever heard, followed by a simple “...what the hell are you planning?”
“Shhhh!” you retorted. “Marlene is asleep.”
“Marlene’s asleep my ass,” she retorted in a hushed tone. “How could you even consider–”
“Evans, stay out of it or I’ll tell James about your dream with him,” you said while raising an eyebrow.
She gasped, “You wouldn’t dare.”
You really wouldn’t dare. But instead, you leaned your head down and narrowed your eyes, “Wouldn’t I?”
She huffed in return, and stood up, walking towards her bed. “Hope you get caught.”
“You don’t, not really,” you retorted with a teasing smile when you noticed the little shake of her shoulders, she was laughing.
“You better keep them away from me,” she retorted.
“I’ll try,” you said after she walked into the bathroom.
“Keep what away from her?” Mary asked as she stepped out and walked inside the room.
“You’ll see tomorrow,” you retorted with a mischief-filled smile.
Glossarie: Seadh, tha sinn gu cinnteach ann an gaol - Yeah, we’re definitely in love nous sommes amoureux - we’re in love Faodaidh tu feuchainn - you can try
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There may be something happening with the Colors™ in Love Sea but it's not just that...
This post began life as me wanting to talk about how amazing Peat's styling and wardrobe are and how much sense they make for his character, but as I was watching this week's episode, I noticed something that made me want to switch gears.
Then I went back and watched the preview and the clown in me stirred from its slumber.
But I do also wanna talk about Peat's styling. In episode 1 he arrived on the island looking like this:
He's dressed all in black, he's wearing slacks, dress shoes, and a long-sleeved shirt. In other words, he does not look remotely like someone who knew they were going to a tropical island. The only thing that has any business being on his body are his sunglasses.
But he doesn't stay like that! A few hours later, he arrives at the beach bar looking like this:
He's in sandals, the pants he's wearing look like they're made out of a lightweight fabric, and his top is loose has an open weave.
And this time, he does stay like that. For as long as he's on the island, he's in sandals and either shorts or lightweight pants and his tops are all either very loose and breezy or made from a woven fabric.
He does still wear dark colors but the basic components of his outfits are the same. Why am I harping on this? Because that's the point.
His outfits make sense!
He's on an island! It's hot, he's spending time at the beach and getting sand everywhere and he's DRESSING LIKE IT! He arrived looking he wasn't coming to an island but he packed for an island! He chose clothes that suited his style and that made sense for the environment. He looks expensive and beautiful and COMFORTABLE!
And in a world where we constantly see these poor BL actors sweating out every ounce of fluid in their body because they've been dressed like it's not hotter than the hinges of hell in Thailand, having a character dress like he knows where he is feels like a GIFT. This production is truly making fantastic choices.
Having said all that...
In noticing Tongrak's wardrobe, I noticed something else.
Woven fabric has texture to it and because so many of the tops we've seen Tongrak in are woven, he's always wearing something that's either textured or looks like it has texture. And Mahasamut?
He is always dressed in bright colorful patterns.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
They aren't color coded in the way we've come to know, they're primarily what I'm gonna call fabric coded: textures are Rak's, patterns are Mut's. But they are also color coded in the sense that Rak's textured tops are always a solid color and Mut's tops are always multicolored.
I may very well be wrong, I may very well be proving why I live at the circus but there was a moment in episode 4 that told me that I was on the right track.
Look what Mook chooses when she goes shopping with Vivi.
A WOVEN TOP IN A SOLID COLOR. She picks it because that's what she usually buys for Rak! Because that's the style that he likes!
But then the show went and teased me because we don't actually see what Vivi picked for Mut, the person they were actually shopping for.
THEN THE PREVIEW CAME IN CLUTCH AND GAVE ME THIS
VIVI BOUGHT MUT PATTERNED CLOTHING! The patterns aren't multicolored because he wasn't the one choosing them himself but they're still patterns! We can even go one step further and say that the patterns are in his brand new sugar daddy's colors.
AND WE WILL BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THE BALANCE!
I don't give one singular fuck if Tongrak can admit he's in love or not, THE COLORS AND PATTERNS DON'T LIE AND THIS IS A COLOR AND PATTERN EXCHANGE!
If at any point in this show there is a colorful pattern on Tongrak's body, I am going to lose my mind.
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hi there i hope you don't mind me asking for recs! this might be a bit too specific but do you know any (good) bls with age gap? i've only watched old fashion cupcake and minato's laundromat and i'd love to see more of that dynamic. have a good day!
Hi anon! I am delighted to talk about age gap bls with you. A few notes about how I define this:
I think of a true age gap romance as one where the narrative is at least in part driven by the age difference, not one where the characters are just incidentally different ages but it doesn't really matter to the story
The age gap needs to be significant enough that it puts the characters in different phases of life, so something like a college freshman dating a senior doesn't count
I also don't count supernatural stories where there's a massive age gap as a function of one of the characters being immortal, that's a totally different genre and narrative intent IMO
I will only include a show in this list if the age gap is between the main pair or a very significant side pair who has a lot of story time
So this means I would not be including shows like My Tooth Your Love or The New Employee where there is technically an age gap but everyone is adults and it doesn't really matter to the story. Or shows like Cutie Pie and Love in the Air, which do play with power dynamics somewhat based in age but where the actual gap is negligible and the story isn't about their age difference. Or something like Ossan's Love where there is an age gap pairing in contention but it's not actually the core romance of the story. Then there are shows where on paper there is an age gap between the main characters but the production cast actors the same age, so it never actually feels like an age gap story no matter how many times they write in dialogue trying to convince me that 28 year old is 40 (I love you dearly, Moonlight Chicken but please be serious).
So all that said, there are not as many proper age gap bls as you'd think! You'll note that this rec list is dominated by Japan and Taiwan, the absolute rulers of this trope. Productions in these countries love to dig into an uncomfortable taboo, and a true age gap romance fits nicely in that niche. Thailand doesn't play much in this space thanks to their branded pairs system that puts close-in-age actors together (and the couple times they tried large age gap romances were so terrible that I shan't speak of it). Korea has surprisingly done very little on this despite noona romance being one of the most popular kdrama subgenres. Where are all the hyung romances, I ask you??
With all that rambling out of the way, onto the list of age gap bls I recommend checking out.
History 2: Right or Wrong
An under appreciated entry in the HIStory franchise that pairs an overworked single father who is neglecting his parenting duties and the student he hires to help look after his kid.
History 3: Make Our Days Count
These two are technically a side couple, but they get near equal story time to the mains and they are an exemplar of a great age gap romance that gets the character dynamics exactly right to mitigate the uncomfortable power differential when one is an adult and the other is still growing up. My personal favorite age gap bl pair.
History 4: Close To You
This one's for the girls who like to tackle multiple taboos at once. Not only age gap, but also stepbrothers, with a bit of personality disorder thrown in for flare! And somehow with all that mess, they tell the story so well and make you believe. Do not @ me, I said what I said!
Kiseki: Dear to Me
I know many folks remember this show primarily for the side couple, but the mains actually have a very well done age gap romance between a gangster and a high school student he accidentally drags into hell with him. The plot of this show is absolutely not to be taken too seriously, just have fun and go with it!
Lovely Writer
The only Thai bl I think qualifies under the definition above and actually tells its story very well. This one is interesting because you get to see them both as kids and as adults and see how their age difference and its effect on their relationship shifts over time.
Minato's Laundromat
You already mentioned this one, anon, but I'm putting it on this list for posterity. A classic age gap bl with a romance between a repressed older man and the persistent teenager who worships him.
Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding
Winner for most significant age gap in terms of years, this show is about a mid-20s editor who falls for a writer twice his age after meeting him on the job. So much glorious food and sexual tension.
Old Fashion Cupcake
Another one you've already seen going on the list for posterity. A workplace age gap romance with a younger man pursuing his mentor via foodie dates. One of the best Japanese BLs ever made, period.
The Pornographer
A maladjusted (to put it mildly!) man gets hit by a young student on a bicycle, and uses the situation to bring him into his home as a writing assistant. Things get pretty fucked up from there. This is one of my favorites and very under appreciated in part because you have to chase the story across two series, two shorts, and a movie to get the full narrative. Trust me, it's worth it!
#history 2: right or wrong#history 3: make our days count#history 4: close to you#kiseki: dear to me#lovely writer#minato's laundromat#mr mitsuyas planned feeding#old fashion cupcake#the pornographer#shan recommends#age gap bls#shan answers
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Just finished episode 2. I've managed to dislodge some thoughts.
I'm really, really liking Tyme. This man is a creature of contrasts. He's got boy next door good looks, but he's feral. He's a doctor, but he's got the bedside manner of a whoopee cushion. He swore to do no harm, but wants to blow Great's back out. He fascinates me and his obliques are fantastic.
I really love Bible's acting choices in this one. Playing another rich mafia son who finds himself lacking control over his own life would have made it so easy for him to just play Vegas with a few tweaks, but he took the time to really put together a much more distinct character. He doesn't play Great like a mafia son, he plays him like an overwhelmed college kid, and that was completely the right choice.
The character writing in this one is phenomenally good, because episode 2 set up a lot of what's going to make Great and Tyme work. We see Tyme going super Saiyan on a punching bag, and Great punching in such a way we were reminded Bible was a STEM major. Tyme struggles with empathy, while Great seems to be very driven by it. These two are a codependent mess waiting to happen and I look forward to it.
I'm sensing an imbalance between Korn and this woman (Fah?). Starting to wonder if Korn's distance from Tonkla is to keep him out of her sights. If not, I'm rooting for Tonkla and the lanky cop if not.
I have theories on how this whole time thing works, but it's going to require a separate post or this will run on too long. I said My Stand In was the BL to beat for me in 2024, but 4 Minutes might push it to second place.
If BOC keeps shipping this top tier smut, I'll give them all my money. If they ship some GL up in this bitch, I'll give them all my money by going to Thailand and just throwing it all down in the middle of their office.
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Fic Recs BTS
I have some favorite Authors, those authors that I´ve read every story of!
@alphabetboyluvr - Holly is the best! I adore her Storys
@oddinary4bts I read every story!!!
@btsgotjams27 Talented!!!!
@jamaisjoons queen of smut tho!
Kim Namjoon:
Intro: her - jamaisjoons
⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 you enter namjoon’s life in the most unexpected of ways, but will you be able to stay, especially when he comes with three adorable but chaotic children, even more chaotic best friends and a bitch of an ex-wife? not to mention your own emotional baggage. 〞singe dad au.
half a heart - jamaisjoons
⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 you and namjoon have always been the best of friends; who just happen to be in love and are refusing to do anything about it. 〞best friends to lovers. childhood friends to lovers. idiots to lovers.
photobooth - jamaisjoons (CHEFS KISS!!!!)
Summary: You never knew fucking in a photobooth, while all your friends are on the other side, could be this sweet.
Kim Seokjin:
Internal Conflicts - yoongiofmine
Summary: Kim Seokjin was everything any girl could want in school . Handsome, kind, popular. Many girls in your class had a crush on the man; including you. Being a few years older than you meant that after he graduated, you didn’t think you would ever see him again. Fast forward to seven years later, the oldest clichê in the book: Your mother marries a man, the man has a son. That son was Kim Seokjin. And now, you’re coming home for a family trip to a cabin in the woods, with a very much awakening crush on the man that is now one hundred percent off limits. A shared bathroom, a snow storm, a small town. What could go wrong?
The end - jimlingss
➜ Summary: It’s been a habit of yours to vent in the form of love letters. There’s six in total. They’re kept secret, hidden in your closet. But on your 30th birthday, what you least expect is for each letter to become reality. All done by the whacky ghost of Christmas future trying to grant your birthday wish.
Warm this winter - Jamaisjoon
⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 spending the winter vacation with an ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend was not something anyone would ever consider doing. spending the winter vacation with both an ex-boyfriend, his new girlfriend, and the one night stand you’d used to try to get over him, well that was a whole other situation that anyone sane would have fled from. and yet, here you are. caught between your best friend (and consequently your ex-boyfriend), and the very same man who you’d fallen into bed with after a night of wallowing in self pity. all while stuck in the picturesquely beautiful - and cruelly romantic - austrian alps. well. at least you can say you had an interesting christmas.
Min Yoongi:
The Devil wears Valentino - orchidyoonkook
Summary: Having known him for years—from a small mistake on your behalf, and a favour on his—you’re one of the only people he seems to be able to put up with for company. Certainly the only one he’s half-way decent with. But what’s more surprising to you is that despite his name, reputation, and the fact he’s always joked he’d have killed anyone else by this point, is that he’s never once tried to cause you harm.
Ride - MYG
⤷ summary. who knew a boring party would turn into you taking more than one ride inside Min Yoongi's car? alt. when you and yoongi first got together.
Angel - sailoryooons
❀ Summary: Yoongi never meant to keep coming back. You never meant to become Yoongi’s favorite. Being Min Yoongi’s favorite has dire consequences.
As it was - midnightagust
Summary: The love of your life shows up unexpectedly after a break up that changed everything. You know it's not the same but...
Endless Summer Nights - midnightagust
Summary: While on a small break from tour in Thailand, Yoongi surprises you to show you how much he appreciates you touring with him.
Now we reign - oddinary4bts
☆summary: when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover there’s more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongi’s life, and it’s unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him?
swing life away - aphrodijin
synopsis: it's your first anniversary as a married couple but not only did you forget today's special occasion, you also didn't prepare a self-made gift for your husband -- except for the bundle of joy in your womb.
The final - Day 02 - yoongiofmine
Summary: You've been Yoongi's go-to companion for the past few years, well aware that's all you were going to be. Despite your very real, growing feelings for the rapper, you took what you could get every time. Now, you're backstage at day two of the final leg of his tour when another member takes an interest in you. Will it be enough to make Yoongi realize he's got competition?
Still got it - Kookslastbutton
✑ Summary: "Say it again. I dare you to say that shit again, y/n." or On your 10th wedding anniversary you decide to voice out some slight marital concerns to your husband Yoongi. You also slip out that you don't think he can get you off given the fact that the last time the two of you got it on was months ago. Yoongi makes you eat your words.
Stick & Stones - xpeachesncream
♢ summary: surprise! you're gifted a free massage at the nearby massage parlor called "Blissful Hands." you've heard about the parlour about once or twice, never thought about stepping foot inside to take advantage of their services. thinking you could use the massage to relax, rid yourself of any stress and built up tension, you walk into the parlor excited for your first massage opportunity. however, when you realize your masseur is no other than Min Yoongi himself, all excitement flies out the window. never did you think you'd reunite with your biggest crush in college, the one that got away. they say sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you— but in this case, you find out that words have actually ruined a lot for you and Yoongi. and stones.. well, they'll do a lot to ease that instead.
It takes two - xpeachesncream
summary: min yoongi was the one who came to understand you and took you for you. but, when boundaries start getting crossed and priorities begin to change, you start to question if your relationship with your bestfriend is strong enough to make it through.
fuck being friends - strawberrynamjoon
– summary: as if watching the guy you were hopelessly in love with hook up with another girl each weekend wasn’t enough, he also happened to be your best friend, making things extra complicated. and it only gets worse and worse once he finds you crying in the bathroom at a party one night.
Jung Hoseok:
suncity - jamaisjoon
⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 when you’d taken a spontaneous trip to Barcelona, you hadn’t expected to meet hoseok. more than that, you hadn’t expected to begin a torrid affair with him. 〞stranges to lovers au. vacation au.
Park Jimin:
I want to be with you | pjm - oddinary4bts
☆summary : moving to Seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is Park Jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. Will the reality of Park Jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?
100 km/hour - chateautae
➵ summary : what exactly happens when you and your friends have to pile into one car for the ride home after an insane halloween party, and you find yourself sitting in park jimin’s lap? especially when he's dressed as an angel, and you're in the sluttiest devil costume ever?
love like this - ppersonna
↳ summary- Jimin wants to make sure this birthday is your favorite one yet.
Kim Taehyung:
Paper Cranes | Kim Taehyung (M)- aquaminwrites
DESCRIPTION: It is said that if someone folds 1000 paper cranes, they will receive one wish. Kim Taehyung has been folding you paper cranes since he was six years old. He won’t tell you what he’s going to wish for once he reaches his goal, but even into your twenties, all you know is that he’s been wishing for the same thing every time.
tales of broken hearts - taegularities
Summary: “Love has become a noun again.” When a work trip brings you back home, you don’t expect for anyone to await your return or remember you. But despite the time apart, Taehyung still does – still looks at you the same way he used to five winters ago.
Money is success - peachypinkygloss
Summary: Son of a powerful business owner, Taehyung rules the society, strictly surrounding himself with rich people. Money is his success, his greatest pride. Too immersed in his work, he doesn't realize the love story he's missing on until it's gone.
sundae (kinda love) - alphabetboyluvr
premise: you always thought kim taehyung's lips would taste like chocolate sundaes, but when you learn -through a friend- that he tastes like watermelon chewing gum, the illusion shatters. so does your heart. in time, so will his.
long black - jamaisjoons
⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: you knew exactly what you were getting into when you decided to tease taehyung at his best friend’s wedding. what you didn’t expect was what came after. establish relationship au.
High tide - Kookslastbutton
✑ Summary: Due to Taehyung's job as a cruise ship Captain, you are constantly miles away from each other. Weekly phonecalls help and this one gets a little nasty and a lot sweet.
Our last summer - strawberrynamjoon
– summary: in order to rescue your failing relationship, taehyung tries to fight for you one last time and flies to paris with you to relive some of your favorite memories – desperately hoping that the city of love will remind you of how much you love him again.
Jeon Jungkook:
GoneGirl - izjeon
Venom - nochukoo97
summary: after a nasty breakup with your ex, who was a boxer, the person who introduced you to the sport, you decided to make life easier for yourself and switch clubs. little did you know that your club leader, also known as ‘venom’ in the ring, would eventually spark your interest. no matter how much jungkook interests you, you can’t bear to risk another failed relationship, you’re still hurt and traumatised from the inside. but will jungkook manage to crawl his way into your heart?
Never go to sleep angry - just4koo
summary: one of the most important rules of your relationship was to never go to sleep angry. when the rule was ignored, it led to an argument and a huge misunderstanding.
horizon - sokook
Summary: The way you approached life had started to break down Jungkook's emotional barriers. Jungkook couldn't deny that he was drawn to you in a way that was entirely new and unfamiliar. You had become more than just an assignment; you had become someone he genuinely cared about. It was the way you made him feel. With you, he felt more human than he had in a long time.
Despite his best efforts to remain detached, his heart had other plans.
this love - daegustae
summary ; you shouldn’t feel uneasy whenever his best friend is mentioned, after all you are his wife right ?
nowhere with you - 13lov
summary: in which your father owns an auto repair shop and hires jungkook as his newest employee, who’s willing to assist you in more ways than one.
tethered - 13lov
Love notes were slipped into your locker on a daily basis. Variations of messy, boyish handwriting on yellow sticky notes stacked upon themselves by the end of each school day. Every Friday night you were invited out with the promise of "You'll have fun, just give it a chance."
You could have any guy you wanted, no doubt about it. Yet somehow, the only one you do want is the tattooed, gothic one that lives a few doors down from your best friend.
lost cause - kooksbunnnn
Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband, that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you.
attachment: 1 image - 1kook
summary; But for Jungkook to initiate some sexting, nevertheless sexting at 1pm on a Saturday, when you were at work and you were almost positive he was supposed to be on stream right now? Unheard of, you had to mark this down somewhere.
cool with you - kooktrash (everything of her!!!!!!!!)
summary: your break up from kim taehyung sent you spiraling into what felt like a midlife crisis of tear stained cheeks and tubs of half eaten ice cream with a broken heart. after finding out that your neighbor, jeon jungkook, was eavesdropping on your meltdowns and came to find out that your ex was his old friend, he found himself wanting to comfort you. he knew the kind of guy Taehyung was and he didn’t want to see you beat yourself up over a guy who wasn’t worth it so in the end he helped you through it and was unable to ignore the growing attraction you felt toward each other.
Blizzard - curly-bangtan
Summary: When a blizzard hits your town, you and your shy awkward roommate are forced to spend time together, not being able to leave the house due to the strong snowstorm. To make matters worse, the power gets cut in the middle of his shower. Which also means no heating.
cornflower blue - just4koo
summary: nights were your favorite time with your boyfriend. the nights where you laid in bed together, tangled up in each other without any thoughts of the real world.
reminder - dollfaceksj
⇝ summary: Whenever he flies back into town, your doorbell is the first he rings. When he has to fly out again, your bed is the last he lies in. However, you’re not stupid. You know your ex-boyfriend, that also happens to be an up-and-coming professional boxer, Jeon Jungkook, doesn’t come to you only. Unfortunately, you have no right to be jealous, not when you’re the one that ended the relationship.
love alive - jamaisjoons
⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 a year after you and jungkook break up, the two of you meet at your brother’s party. 〞post break up au. exes to lovers au.
Jealousy Ink - Kooktrash
summary: you can’t help but seem a little jealous about your boyfriend doing tattoos on women when he doesn’t even let you talk to guys without him being around. you tell yourself you’re just mad at the unfairness but when he brings you pleasure with his head between your legs you seem to forget all about it.
Too late to dream - kookslastbutton
✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.
all mine - jeong -gukk
summary: getting your heart broken meant you no longer wanted anything to do with love. your heart couldn’t take the pain anymore. but, of course, life had other plans.
Could´ve been us - sparklingchim
summary: two years after breaking up with jungkook you meet again. and things get very naughty... you're sure he changed a lot in these years, but you didn't expect THAT twist when thinking about his new gained maturity.
naughty pictures - sparklingchim
summary: perhaps you've gone a little too far with teasing jungkook with naughty pictures of yourself after he was done with the concert.
oops... - sparklingchim
summary: a quickie in the airport restroom was all it was supposed to be - not suddenly the whole world finding out about your secret relationship with jungkook.
champagne problems - sparklingchim
summary: sometimes you just don't know the answer 'til someone's on their knees and asks you.
forever heart - Sparklingchim
summary: after leaving jungkook you thought you'd never see him again, but here you are, visiting hometown after three years, and back in his arms.
Grapejuice - starshapedkookie
summary:At 24, your life was lined up to be perfect; talented, nice apartment, amazing boyfriend, and a dream job. Working as an art apprentice for Kim Seokjin was the exact opportunity you needed to kickstart your art career. However, after you’ve hit a creative wall at full speed, you feel more lost than ever. It’s not until one person shows up with no brakes on in your life that not only changes your entire perspective, but takes your breath away in the process.
pick & roll - xpeachesncream
♛ summary: being one of the most popular players in the nba, jungkook takes absolutely no shit from anybody. he could give a fuck about the press, what people think about him, serious relationships. it’s a personal hell getting wrapped up with jeon jungkook— and you can’t help but fall into the same trap as every other woman who crosses paths with him. the more you fall, the more you realize that you will never be able to change a man who doesn’t want to change his ways.
You´re losing me - sparklingchim
summary: jungkook is late from work yet again. but he shows you just how much he missed you.
love is gone - jeonbunnie
summary: Jeongguk tries to let you down easy.
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The way some people straight up deny soft criticism of the BL industry (stuff that isn't even a secret if you don't close your eyes and ears!!!) Criticism by literally LGBTq people working in said BL industry in Thailand..... basically one of the only ones who's voice are most valid here in this discourse. That's not hypocrism of people working in the industry to open their mouth! That's called self-awareness and using this genre to convey a message and trying to fix issues. This is about Step by Step and Lovely Writer atm. But those are not the only dramas who brought up some critic but somehow people get salty now about that little poke from SbS? Did you sleep the past 3 years?? And it's not a coincident that it's always the same topics certain BL dramas brought up!
I feel like some people here don't get that you can criticize your own work place, your own industry, your own country WITHOUT hating, shaming or demonizing it completely! Yall need stop this black & white thinking and the constant urge to feel personally attacked by something like this...
Especially the message of LW (the same people who make SbS now) was that there is nothing wrong about loving BL stories and they do like producing them. BUT that there are some things in the industry that are bad and harmful NOT ALL OF IT, SOME THINGS! Like the treatment of actors and certain topics by companies and producers. And the main theme of LW: the toxic overstepping and overcontrolling shipping culture that can (and did) destroy real life relationships / friendships under the weight of the pretend relationship (pretend as in they are not dating for real (everyone knows that! or should know that! this is also not even a secret if you watch interviews outside of the fun and couple game shows) at least in most of the cases.... in some rare ones yes, in some very rare cases some actors actually date but they are too afraid to come out due to homophobia and the way the industry & fandom treats those cases (source Dr. Thomas Baudinette who studies the industry as a form of queer asian media and interviewed companies and actors since years... somewhere in this he talks about actor relationships, I can't find the time stamp atm))
ALSO the point about exploiting the LGBTq community is NOT about the fans or LGBTq audience who love these dramas. But about businesses and literal Thailand itself. For using those stories and actors / couples for advertising, for marketing, for tourism even. BUT at the same time some don't care for real life LGBTq issues and rights or the fact that Thailand is still not agreeing on equal marriage (which is not just about them not being able to marry but they get denied a lot of things married couples get. alone the fact that they can't see their partner in the case of an emergency in the hospital because 'they are not family'). In the said SbS scene they were literally discussing which pretend couple has the most fans and how they could use their fandom and fan clubs to gain profit. Don't you guys get how fucking frustrating this is for the LGBTq people and allies who work in the BL industry, to get paraded in front of the camera for money and image but still don't get treated equally??? THAT is what they mean with exploiting.... And it's a lot of producers, writers and some actors who voice those points, not just these few self-aware BL dramas. But doing it through the medium they adress is the best way to reach the right people, to make the right people aware and ask for their support. Since they can't say such things directly (even though they should) unless they want to lose their job, they still like to a degree.
And I am sorry but the opinion of actual thai people who are inside that industry is more valid than some random fan who just doesn't want to understand those things in order to enjoy their shows without feeling bad.... What if I tell you that you can do both and that this is not about shaming you or making you feel guilty (unless you participate in toxic overstepping behavior or are actually LGBTq-phobic, then yes feel guilty)! Acknowledging issues, supporting to fix those issues and still have fun with these dramas and actors.... Those things can and do coexist and nobody said otherwise!!
#damn i said i stay away from discourse and I am not here to discuss but I have to say something about this since I saw some bs#sorry my patience is very thin the past months and I am so damn tired of stupid discourse#rant#bl drama#bl actors#step by step the series#Tee Bundit Sintanaparadee#tee bundit#salt post
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Common Ground
If you look at Viggo and Orlando today, they seem to have so little in common, with very different lifestyles. Viggo far away from Hollywood (geographically and mentally), Orlando still in the middle of it (geographically, at least). And since always, the big age gap.
But I've realised they have and have had more in common than you might think! So I've compiled a rather long list of some interests they share, some traits they have in common. Some of them are obvious, some are, well... not. And some seem to be a result of Orlando's hero worship of Viggo, and thus doing all things the Viggo-way.
It's a quite unserious and unscientific list.
Holding on to a character
Orlando:
I will take Legolas, and this experience in New Zealand, wherever I go. The beautiful thing about being an actor is every character you embrace, when you move on, you take part of the character with you. He's a special, special character and, or course, my first. I'm never going to let go of him.
Viggo:
You hear a lot of people saying, 'I want to get rid of that character' or 'It took me days, weeks, months, years to shed the skin of that character,' but I don't," he says. "We're all going to get old and die, and if we live long enough, we're going to forget things or lose our memories. That's just what happens in life. So why be in a hurry to forget something or undo something? Any movie or experience, I want it to be a part of me.
2. Choosing work
Orlando:
I'm always only interested in the script. But of course, I'm happy to support smaller films if I'm convinced by the script.
Viggo:
I never decide to do a project based on who is directing it, it's always the script which is important.
3. Technophobia
Obviously, this was a passing phase, until everyone had a mobile phone and a computer... Apparently, Orlando broke down his resistance at one time and got a ... Blackberry.
Orlando:
You could say I'm a technophobe. I don't have a TV, I don't read magazines, I don't have a computer and I don't have a cell phone. I am a nature-loving human being and I want to remain independent from the tools of technology, or be only minimally influenced by them. If I want to write a letter to someone, I pick up a pen and paper. I try to focus on the important things in life, on myself and my fellow human beings, my work, my friends, etc.
Viggo:
I’m sitting in a car talking on a cell. I rarely use them. In this case, I wanted to be alone and in a quiet place. The phone was dead and I’m charging it as we talk, which is why I was late. I still can’t figure out how to retrieve my messages. I didn’t have one for several years, and would call in my messages from a pay phone on the corner near my apartment. I might not check my messages for days, and I probably lost some jobs because of that. When I finally got one, I threw it out the window when it rang because the sound was so annoying. A neighbour rang my bell, asked me if it was mine, and handed it back to me. I put it in the closet under a pile of laundry, and a few days later it rang again. I didn’t like the intrusion and tossed it out the back alley.
4. Wearing necklaces
They both used to wear a whole slew of trinkets around their necks, both looking all hippie-ish and stuff.
Orlando:
I have a lot of these things with me all the time. I get given some and find others. One was a key ring that Johnny [Depp] gave me as a wrap gift for Pirates. Here's a piece of greenstone Billy Boyd gave me. I found this shell on the beach in Thailand. This is a prayer baton I got in India. I picked up this tiny silver ball in Tokyo. This is a New York City handcuff key, so if I get into any strife, I can get myself out. I think I'll hold onto that. I've always kept all these funny little things, even as a kid. But I'm trying to cut it out, become more streamlined. Otherwise it starts to feel like the things own you. These things fill up my heart. If I were ever to lose them, I'd be really devastated. Isn't that pathetic?
5. Loving nature and being alone
Orlando:
New Zealand is so green and healthy and outdoorsy and stuff so I started putting little tests on myself, like in terms of getting fit and using the environment around me. I often sit and daydream, and lose myself in that world. People around me think I'm rude, but I'm not ignoring them or anything.
Viggo:
I like to spend time alone and outdoors. I enjoy being able to just sit and observe life in the forest or by the water. I like observing and not thinking about anything. If I can't get in to the wild, I observe people in the city. I value being alone in nature even more now that my life has become so hectic.
6. Environmental friendliness
Viggo:
I have a hybrid car, the first Prius that came out on the market; it still works great. My son shares it with me. I recycle everything I can. I try not to waste natural resources or to pollute. Small things that if done every day, serve to make a better world. I’ve always liked being around plants and trees, I’ve always planted them, anywhere that I spend a little time in. The trees we plant, and the landscapes we nurture and protect for wildlife to enjoy and feel safe in, and to prevent soil erosion, is our gift to future generations. Even in cities we can take part in creating a greener, healthier environment – either by growing plants and trees or contributing financially to those that do. But there is nothing like getting your hands dirty and being physically part of the process of preparing the soil, planting, and nurturing new plant life.
Orlando:
I am going to the Oscars this year in a [Toyota] Prius. Anything I can do to bring awareness to the environment and to the fact that we need to decrease the greenhouse-gas emissions, I will do. I love the environment. I grew up in the countryside. I want my kids one day to enjoy the same environment and their kids to enjoy the same environment.
7. Commitment to politics and human rights issues
Orlando has done work for Unicef since 2007 and Viggo has always been very outspoken in issues concerning politics.
Orlando:
When I first came to Ukraine in 2016, I saw the catastrophic consequences that war has on children and families, and how basic needs such as being at school and psychosocial support are critical for children’s wellbeing. Now, with children across the entire country affected, that support is more vital than ever. Amid the chaos and uncertainty of war, supporting children’s education is an essential tool in protecting their long-term mental health and wellbeing. This is especially important during their early years, when children develop the learning and emotional skills they need to reach their full potential. Above all, children need an end to this war and sustained peace to regain their childhoods, return to normalcy and begin to heal and recover.
Viggo:
It’s not just the suffering in Ukraine. It's families in Russia; mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, who have lost loved ones just because of one man’s brutal ambition; a murderous, grotesquely corrupt person. And [Putin] will keep going. It’s like Trump. If you don’t stop them legally or otherwise why would they stop? And if they see weakness they’ll just exploit it.
8. Riding horses
Viggo famously loves horses, but Orlando has a certain love for them as well.
Orlando:
I've always loved riding and I used to hack around Canterbury as a kid. It wasn't really a pony club -- we'd just go out on horses. So I picked it up again in New Zealand and added a bit more of the style and the posture and the correct riding position. I learned to ride on around 30 different horses, and what you get from that is an understanding that each individual animal has to be treated with sensitivity so you have a mutual respect thing going.
9. Smoking
They both smoke/used to smoke cigarettes or cigars.
An unfortunate thing to have in common. I hope they have stopped.
10. Photography and art
Viggo is obviously a skilled photographer and painter and more. Orlando is also a keen photographer with an interest in art and sculpture.
Orlando:
Sculpture was my thing. I was very passionate about documentary photography too. I still like to walk around and take photographs, but it’s hard to do that if a lot of people are looking at you.
Viggo:
Photography, painting or poetry – those are just extensions of me, how I perceive things, they are my way of communicating.
11. Tattoos
The serendipity of these two tattoos, Orlando's sun and Viggo's moon, is amazing. Put there before meeting each other, in the same place on the body, only mirrored.
12. Fishing
Viggo went fishing a lot in NZ. Orlando sometimes tagged along. And then máybe goes fishing sometimes? Perhaps? Who knows?
13. Uncleanliness
Gotta love completely unfounded gossip. I'm sure they smell heavenly, at all times, shower or no shower. Just natural muskiness pouring out of their... pores.
Orlando:
"Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly. Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often." The insider claimed that Bloom "goes days without washing his clothes" when not working on a movie, adding: "He'll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks." The Pirates of the Caribbean actor also allows his dog Sidi to share a bed with him.
Viggo:
Viggo Mortensen, who plays Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies, may seem fair, but according to The Sun he smells foul. The tabloid today alleges the American actor has been dumped by his girlfriend Lola Schnabel for worryingly Strider-like behaviour. Apparently he rarely washes and mysteriously disappears for long periods at a time.
14. Drinking mate
Viggo famously drinks yerba mate at all times. Orlando also drinks this. At least at one point, when this photo was taken, that's all I'm sure of.
15. Back pain
Orlando broke his back when he was 20 years old - with chronic back pain as a result. Viggo gets backaches sometimes.
Viggo:
If I wear footwear for too long I get backache. I need to be barefoot, otherwise it's agony.
Bonus: Gorgeous in make up
Also, they are both kind of gorgeous. And like make up. Sometimes. At this one particular time?
And, uhm, that's it.
Don't look so sceptical, boys! Just realise you are perfect for each other and get on with it.
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pairing: f4!nct dojaejung x fem!reader (past johnny x reader mentions)
genre: hana yori dango/boys over flowers/meteor garden/f4 thailand reverse harem au (mild allusions and characterization only)
warnings: brief mentions of past bullying, dom!doyoung, hopelessromantic!jaehyun, mommykink!jungwoo, reader is a bit of a switch, smut (mmmf, double penetration, oral f & m receiving/giving, unprotected sex, anal, semi-public sex), degradation/humiliation kink (reader), pet names: baby, mommy (reader), puppy (jw)
wordcount: 10k
author's note: i wrote this as a distraction from other projects after listening to perfume on repeat and lamenting the end of promo. intended as a oneshot but i have some ideas for continuation. please let me know if you enjoy it (and more importantly, what you enjoy)
The Bangkok night is warm and thick and redolent with flowers. The expensive vacation home one of your three companions had arranged for your short stay is quietly luxurious, separated from the city bustle but still hazed with light past the high walls and thick foliage surrounding the pool.
You'd never made a habit of asking who paid for what with your travel companions, but you guess by the mix of old world and new that it was Jaehyun's idea to stay here–perhaps even a Jeong family permanent accommodation. His family's import business had done well in the region, judging by the luxury sports cars parked in the driveway.
Everything about this trip is surreal–worse for the fact that a fourth presence lingers like a ghost in your periphery.
He should have been here. Indeed, you've taken his place, filling the natural void like a small drop in an ocean-sized hole.
Everything about this distraction brought you back to him: the rose petals strewn across your pristine bed, the snarling garuda statue lurking across the aquamarine oasis.
Johnny is 8600 miles away and still very near.
Jaehyun joins you at the pool's edge, slipping some well-concocted drink near your manicured fingers–most likely Jungwoo's contribution by the tasteful sprig of flowering basil. You'd refused multiple drinks at the club, still flagged from a day of travel and self-conscious of the eyes on your table and you’d finally agreed to one now that you were back safe in your own private enclosure.
He shucks off his sandals to dip his feet in beside yours, nudging you beneath the water to remind you that even with the grief that's hollowed you out inside, you're not alone.
Jaehyun doesn't speak–well accustomed to your need for silence when you've inevitably descended into that space again.
Unfortunately, Doyoung isn't as accommodating.
"What did we say about moping, Y/N?" A tall shadow stands beside you, swaying slightly.
"I'm not moping," you say, sipping from your glass of Mekhong soothed with sugar and soda. "Just thinking."
"Wasn't the point of this vacation to get you to stop doing that?" Doyoung is touching his toe to the warm water when there's a sudden rush from behind you, a startled cry escaping the man before he hits the surface fully clothed.
"Was he bothering you?" Jungwoo asks, looking completely unfazed about shoving the other man in.
"You bastard," Doyoung says, spluttering up and tossing his hair back as he holds his phone out of the water.
"It's waterproof."
"That's not–"
"I'll buy you a new one."
"Now you're going to have him trying to return the favor," you say, giving him a sly smile.
"Oh I think I'll be alright," he says with a wink, backing up a few paces before cannon-balling in. If you'd been doused by Doyoung's ungraceful landing you're soaked thoroughly by the splash Jungwoo makes, finding yourself shielded by Jaehyun's torso wrapped around you.
You hadn’t even thought to protect anything but your drink, your heart stuttering as you find yourself inches from his flushed face and rosy lips.
"You okay?" he asks, wiping water from your face with his silk sleeve.
"Yeah," you say quietly. "Can't see the tears now, right?"
He blinks at you, believing you by the clouded expression in his dark eyes.
"I'm just kidding. Not crying, see." You smile at him as best as you can muster, hoping your carefully-applied makeup isn't running off your face.
"Don't you want to join us?" Jungwoo has escaped Doyoung by pressing himself to your knees, shoulders well out of the water at standing level. You shake your head, suddenly shy.
"You should have let those girls come back with us," you say. "All that work wingmanning for nothing."
"Blame Doyoung for boring them talking about tariffs," Jungwoo says, ducking as the other shoves water in his direction. "Besides, we didn't want you to be alone."
"You know I don't mind, puppy." You tousle his wet hair, sipping deeply again. Through the fogged rim of your glass you catch his cheerful expression falter. It lasts only as long as he realizes Doyoung is floating on his back, swamping him with a tackle.
"I asked them to keep it just us for tonight." Jaehyun says, breaking his quiet.
"Saving the party for Phuket!" Jungwoo shouts in the background, mispronouncing the first syllable deliberately to sound like fuck it.
"Have someone you're missing tonight, too?" Your tease lands with a thud, watching your best friend's mouth crease at the corner as he chews his lip.
"I'm sorry, that was rude–"
"No," he says. "I know how you feel."
"How far away is Paris?" you ask, not expecting an answer.
"5 hours," Jaehyun says, grinning slightly. It's a callback to so many months of watching him stare out towards the airport from the school rooftop with you, letting you listen while he mused on what she might be doing at that hour, how long it would take to get there.
You'd encouraged him even as your heart broke–feeling the dwindling embers of a schoolgirl crush on him turn to ash. You would never be as good as his childhood love, even if you had taken up her place as his companion seated beside him on the piano bench when he practiced, or studying beside him as he drifted off into one of his many naps.
It was better this way–more comfortable just being able to be with him without the worry that you could live up to her, your heroine in highschool. But there would always be something there.
Doyoung clambers out to sit beside you, far enough away not to dampen the fuschia Versace metal mesh minidress he'd gifted you earlier. It was the perfect costume to play the part of nouveau riche jetsetter for a girl who lived one step up from a basement apartment.
No one would mistake you for class, or even an influencer, but in their company no one was looking at you anyway. Most people thought you were Doyoung’s assistant or Jungwoo’s sister. The nasty looks, sometimes worse, always followed when they introduced you as their friend.
"What can we do to make this a magical night?" Doyoung asks. You find yourself unable to answer, eyes caught on the smooth definition of his chest through the barely buttoned translucent shirt he'd worn out. You note he's lost the matching loose tie, probably still wrapped around a girl's neck on the dance floor.
"It's already so nice," you say, looking up at the blink of stars through the light pollution. "Thank you for including me."
"You think we'd leave you behind?"
The way he says you carries all sorts of strange subtext, considering your history. It had been a long journey from being mercilessly bullied and shoved into the dirt you came from, as Johnny had called it, to here. The lap of luxury, attended to by three specimens of wealth and privilege so out of your league you may as well be batting a thousand.
"Well it’s not like I got you in the divorce," you say, knot twisting in your chest. "I guess even now it’s hard to tell if you’re just being nice to me because you feel bad for me."
"First of all, he left all of us," Doyoung corrects. His voice is a little raspy, as if he's controlling his emotions. The admission leaves you questioning. You knew how close they were but they'd never shown any sign of being affected by Johnny's sudden departure.
Maybe you'd just been too busy wallowing to notice.
“Second, you’re special. Too special to let just anyone play with. If you hadn’t noticed, we enjoy your company.”
"And when have we ever done something nice?" Jungwoo rests his arms on your knees, almost pulling you into the water. Jaehyun pushes him back with his foot, earning a tug on his leg that does little to move his immovable weight.
"You're a package deal, though. Like a blend," you raise your mostly empty glass to drive your horrible attempt at a metaphor to death. “Even with one ingredient missing you can’t beat the original.”
“Well I won’t deny you're a strange substitute,” Doyoung says, gracefully using your words to make his point. It reminds you of how he’d spent hours drilling you with details of tea ceremony when your ridiculous coworker had asked for a demonstration of his family’s heritage business.
“But taste requires innovation, and it’s often the unexpected addition that changes the entire flavor profile. You’re new but you’re refreshing, and unique. Not something to be discarded because anyone demands it.”
“That’s a very poetic way of saying you still like me even if I’m an uncultured pain in the ass.”
"Poor little weed," Jungwoo says, hands splaying over your bare thighs before Jaehyun can foist him off again. “Are you insulting Doyoung’s taste? You're the first girl any of us have agreed on."
"I doubt that considering what I saw last Friday. Did all of you sleep in Doyoung's room or did you take turns–"
You catch Jungwoo's scheming look with Jaehyun right before the cocktail glass is plucked from your hand and you're picked up on both sides, Jaehyun lifting you by the waist and Jungwoo taking over once you're free of the edge.
"Let me go," you shriek, folding over his shoulder.
"Are you sure?" Jungwoo bends his knees until your hem is submerged, not phased as you beat on his back with soft hits.
"At least toss me in so you can get a head start," you threaten. He indulges you, lifting you up out of the water like he's going to help you recreate that pivotal scene from Dirty Dancing only to throw you back and into the deep end.
You hold yourself in a ball and sink, breath held, channeling your best hello darkness my old friend as you wait for the inevitable. It takes less than ten seconds before Jaehyun dives in after you, pulling you up.
“Got you,” you say, grinning through the trickles of warm water. Jaehyun looks less than amused, lips thinning into a tight line as water drips from his bleached blond hair.
"Don't scare us like that," Doyoung gripes, joining you a few seconds too late. You shoot him and Jungwoo a look over your perch on Jaehyun's arm, clinging to him for comfort.
“Yeah, please.” Jaehyun breathes.
"Is my makeup coming off?" you ask. He's been staring at you funnily as you float beside him, bodies brushed up in the expansion of his clothing and the occasional contact with his frame.
"What?" Your best friend sounds dazed, water collecting in his dimples as he smiles softly.
"What?" You parrot, teasing, mirroring him in the way your eyes dart to his mouth, not surprised to find his lip trembling. His uplit face is shadowed with hidden feelings you can only guess at.
That years-old urge to kiss him returns. It could be considered revenge for back when he'd grabbed you and given you a taste of what it would be like that day after he’d come back from his trip abroad. You'd melted into him like it was the most natural thing in the world, the illusion only broken when Johnny had slammed the rooftop door shut on the way back down, flowers for whatever apology he'd half-assed scattered across the dirty tar paper.
You'd slapped him afterwards, surprised to find him smiling. He's in love with you, isn't he? Had to be sure.
There'd been so many times after that he'd played with your feelings you'd lost count, but one constant remained: he would never pursue you fully if he believed it would hurt his best friend.
Your chest feels tight just imagining what might have been, had you changed course back then. But you've long given up dwelling on might have beens.
Jaehyun is less mercurial now that he's older so you’re the one to catch him by surprise, lips pressing to his cheek right beside his mouth–in the smile lines you know too well. It's a quick send-off before Jungwoo can grab his legs and pull him under from below.
Doyoung takes the opportunity to capture you by the waist, keeping you from becoming a casualty of their underwater fight. He looks just as serious as always, even without his usual glasses.
"Sorry about the dress," you say, working to stay afloat.
He laughs at you, prone to condescension as always. "If you like it we can get you another. But do you really want to wear the same thing twice?"
"Some of us can't replace our wardrobe every week," you huff.
"Are you under the impression I'm replacing a bespoke suit collection every week? All I'm saying is you should have a new dress for every occasion. Especially if you're with us."
You jab him in the side, surprised at the hardness of his ribs but also delighted by his startled wheeze.
"I'm not your kept woman."
"Not even if we want to keep you to ourselves?"
A little shiver runs through you, making eye contact with him as he mouths the waterline. It's said so innocently but you know better. He and Woo had been dropping double entendres since well before takeoff from Seoul.
Flirting was Jungwoo's thing, a silver lining to the dark shadow of a personality that enjoyed being subtly in control. As the future heir to a crime syndicate it was much better than experiencing his hidden anger. Doyoung though . . . as much as he dabbled in shadier scenes and pretended to be a womanizer he's old-old-old money, from a strata inaccessible to anyone who's genealogy can't be traced back to the Goryeo dynasty.
The idea of him folding you into his life, much less keeping you, is absurd.
“Well that does seem to go against the whole idea of this being a trip to finally get over . . . everything,” you say, deflecting from his intensity. “What happened to letting me live like the F4 for one week?”
“Is this not it?” He quirks an eyebrow at you.
“What if I want you to play wingman for me? Find me something meaningless to distract me?”
You're not expecting the dark storm that settles over his refined features.
“I think you have enough distractions here to keep you occupied.”
Your pulse picks up, hearing the hidden message loud and clear. He'd heard your laments to Jungwoo about how long it had been since you even thought about being with someone else, how you'd never really gotten to date after three brutal years of school, work, and accidentally making the worst chaebol tyrant in Seoul fall for you.
Now that you're free for the first time in your adult life, you want to experience what it's like to be just another girl, like the ones they so frequently invited to their tables at function and club alike.
"Are you insinuating you're not going to let me bring anyone back if I find a fling? After I just spent all night singing your praises to a healthy pool of candidates? Double standard, much?"
Doyoung wraps an arm around you to keep your head from knocking against the tiled pool edge. He's backed you into it without you even noticing it.
"You can try," he says, gripping the wall next to your cheek. "Though I would question the sanity and intelligence of anyone who took you up on it."
There's his brand of cruelty: casual threats delivered without a hint of remorse. You'd been on the receiving end, perhaps were now, but you're not afraid of him in the slightest.
"You're not reporting all of this to him, are you?"
Doyoung doesn't answer, nostrils flaring.
"Or is he only texting 'Woo back?" you ask.
"Who texted me?" Jungwoo asks with open curiosity behind him.
Doyoung presses a single finger to your lips in warning, releasing you.
"Didn't you get the number of that model? Miss Thailand 2016 runner-up?" You toss your head slightly to clear it, still feeling heat suffuse your cheeks from just a touch against your mouth. It really had been too long.
"Oh she's too good for me," Jungwoo remarks, jokingly. "Besides, I already have a failed beauty queen right here."
You snort. “In what world is second place a failure when it’s your first time?”
The contest had just been a university charity project but you'd worked hard to earn that spot after Johnny had entered you in as some kind of sick game from abroad. Jungwoo had helped you conquer it–had even got you a side gig modeling when his usual partner had dropped out at the last minute at one of his shoots. You’d just been there to deliver coffee and now you were on a cover being printed in 15 different countries.
You always liked reminding Jungwoo of his Pygmalion moment because that's when you'd genuinely seen his kinder side–even if you suspected he may have threatened at least two of the judges to land you on the final stage. Losing had been worth it to spend time with the member of the F4 you’d never been close to in high school.
"Maybe she doesn't deserve you," you say, swimming around him to grab him loosely around the shoulders. “Not many can appreciate having a personal rescue dog to save them from getting wrinkly fingers.”
You're immediately indulged, Jungwoo paddling you back to the shallow end where Jaehyun is lost in thought, staring at white blossoms from one of the trees in the courtyard floating in front of him. Doyoung is just as contemplative.
It’s probably best to not let it stretch out any longer–you were always a fan of ripping the bandage off quickly even if it hurt.
"I'm going to go take a shower and call it a night." You announce, hearing Jungwoo groan. "Unless . . ."
"Unless what?" Jungwoo perks. Jaehyun squints up at you where you stand over him. You look at Doyoung instead, as he drags himself out of the water to sit on the ledge beside the stairs.
"Unless you tell me what we really are."
The buzz of cicadas seems to die a little, soft music inside the house drifting out through the glass.
"Friends, hopefully?" Jungwoo says.
"Well you aren't bullying me anymore, so yes. But friends don't keep their friends from moving on from past relationships."
"That's not at all—" Doyoung begins.
"Let me finish," you interrupt. He's immediately quiet, throat bobbing as he looks beside you at Jaehyun's taut shoulders.
"I'll never fit in with you or your world but we both stopped judging each other for that a long time ago, I think. I like spending time with you, I like knowing you'll still include me even if . . . " You can't bring yourself to say Johnny's name. "Even if I'm just another ghost who's outstayed her welcome."
It was their term for dropped flings and casual encounters, with a whole subset of terminology for the ones who couldn't get the hint (poltergeist), or lost their cool at their dismissal by screaming and crying (banshees).
It hadn't been like that for you even the second or fifth time Johnny had broken up with you–always for reasons out of your control. You'd shown him the same aggression and cruelty in answer, but you’d never begged for him to take you back, ever, and you certainly had never sought out his friends.
It had always been their prerogative to spend time with you, and you’d leaned into it your freshman year of university study and singlehood, wanting the support network denied you by being alone and poor in a city you could barely afford. You’d never take their money but you had accepted their company, and had enjoyed it far more than you could have imagined.
Even if it kept you in Johnny Suh’s outer orbit, what you had with them meant something to you. You didn’t want to lose it when he came back. From the press releases about his recent promotion, it would seem to be soon.
Waiting for that inevitability is like attending your own funeral before you’re dead, pallbearers for company.
"You're not a ghost," Jaehyun says. "And we won't abandon you, ever."
"You'll just keep me and this dynamic trapped in amber until Johnny changes his mind, then? It's been a year already. I don't want to lose any more of my youth to him, and I don't want to lose you when he comes back and you all act like he's done nothing wrong."
"That won't happen," Doyoung says, sighing.
"No, because I'll leave before then." You get out of the water, brushing your face free of the hot tears. "Wouldn't want to ruin your fun."
Jaehyun pulls you back, strong enough you lose your footing and sink into his submerged lap.
"You're not going anywhere," he says. There's no malice or anger in his tone, just quiet assurance. He cleans your face again, blue silk cuff coming away black with mascara.
"You asked what we are. Remember when you used to come sit next to me under that stupid ad?"
"Yeah?" you sniff. You'd spent hours with him sitting on a city bench as he stared up at a billboard for luxury clothing with her face on it. She’d been the dream he chased at your urging, the fantasy that had sadly broken with proximity.
"When I was in France, after things became clear, I would go and sit somewhere and pretend like you were there with me."
"I hope it was somewhere fun, like the Louvre," you joke.
"Too crowded." He shakes his head, smirking. "Would look weird talking to myself."
"Oh you talked to invisible me but you couldn't pick up the phone once?"
He shakes his head again, squeezing you.
"Anyway. The point is you're stuck with me. And them."
"And Johnny . . .?"
"Stop bringing up our ex," Doyoung says. Not your ex, our ex.
"It's a valid concern," you say, adjusting in Jaehyun's hold to rest your head against his damp shoulder. "I'm not going back to him. And I know you'll choose him over anyone else."
"No," Jaehyun says.
"You're the exception."
You lift your head to blink up at Doyoung.
"Didn't think you made those."
"Well you just haven't spent enough time with me, then."
"You planning on spending time with me?" You smile lazily, hand drifting to squeeze his leg. It's always fun to see his unflappable face twitch.
"He already blocked off half his itinerary for private tours. Jaehyun had to fight him to split it equally," Jungwoo says. Doyoung splashes water into his face with his foot.
"I wanted it to be a surprise," he says sourly.
"Like the massage tomorrow morning?"
This time Doyoung's kick makes waves wash over you and Jaehyun, leaving you spluttering.
Jungwoo takes it, smiling once his floppy brown hair is pushed back out of his eyes again. He grins at you from the water. "You'll take your dog for a walk when you remember I exist, right?"
"Why not just come with us?" You'd often wondered if there was an invisible tether for how often they appeared together.
Doyoung clears his throat, Jaehyun shifting uncomfortably under you.
"What am I missing?" You laugh awkwardly, looking between them.
"I forget the only man you've ever dated never dated anyone seriously, either." Doyoung looks somewhat pleased with himself. "Traditionally when you spend time with someone you're interested in you don't have company–"
Shock runs through you like ice dumped over your head. "You can't be serious."
Doyoung's face is incredibly serious, Jaehyun's proving only a little more relaxed about the disclosure. You turn around to Jungwoo, floating nearby with a humored expression.
"You're not part of this are you, 'Woo?"
"Of course I am. You deserve a break from stuffy museums and romantic dinners to have some real fun."
His eyebrows lower a bit in some sinister joke, and for the first time a little fear courses through you. It's been a long time since you saw their manipulative and controlling side, but bringing you to a foreign country to date you, their best friend’s ex, without telling you . . . That's a whole new level of it.
"This isn't a competition, is it?" You hide the tremor in your voice.
"Between us? Of course it is," Jungwoo says.
"And the terms?" You look at Jaehyun, who is unable to meet your gaze. "Let me guess, whoever fucks me first?"
His eyes widen in genuine dismay, panicking. "No, of course not–we just wanted to give you a chance to decide if . . ."
"If what?"
"If you liked one of us more than the others," Doyoung finishes for him.
You find yourself breathing heavily, face flushed.
"What if I can't choose?" You ask, gaze fixing on Jaehyun's mouth as he bites his lip, still looking guilty.
"If you decide you don't want to be with any of us, then things stay the same. Nothing changes. We'll still be friends." He says it all slowly, deliberately, almost as if it’s rehearsed.
"And if I choose one of you? Do I get to suffer the jealousy complex of another deeply insecure and emotionally unavailable man?"
That hits them where it counts. They'd all watched Johnny take out his fears on you, masked under bravado, posturing for an audience that more often than not was just you and his friends. His peers had rarely done the same, unless you counted Jungwoo following his enforcement orders like a loyal hound or Doyoung orchestrating clean-ups.
No, they'd skated clean through multiple horrorshows by simply being there to throw their weight. No one else had the notoriety and resources to cover up the trail of damage left in Suh's wake.
You stand up again, turning between them. "And none of you are worried about Johnny finding out?"
A lump forms in your throat, bitterness about even having to invoke your own personal demon. Yes he'd walked away, but you knew his sense of entitlement would never allow his interests to be compromised by another–especially his closest companions.
And here they are, looking between each other and discussing your fate with the deliberate calm of a business transaction.
Apparently the only consequences were for you.
"Or is that the real game you're playing here," you ask. "Degrade me so far in his eyes he'll want nothing to do with me while you write me off as disloyal trash."
Jaehyun sucks his breath in through his teeth, and you note how hurt he looks. Jungwoo seems even more upset, full bottom lip jutting out.
"I know what you've been through, and I know it will be a long time to forget," Doyoung says. "But we're not him."
You remember an old saying your father had taught you: when you're holding a hammer everything looks like a nail. Better applied to problem-solving perhaps, but you'd also been dealing with one, giant nail-shaped problem since he'd crashed into your life. It was stuck in your heart and time and healing hadn't removed it. Maybe it was permanent, but you still had to live with it.
"I just don't understand how you think you think this will work."
"You're awfully concerned about what he thinks," Jungwoo says, rising over you. "What about moving on?"
"I don't give a fuck what he thinks. I'm just looking out for you. You know he'll punch first and ask questions later. What if he does something reckless?"
Jungwoo is laughing at you through closed lips, eyes crescented in mirth. "We have you to protect us, right? Just roundhouse kick him in the face again."
“That was lucky,” you say. “He wasn’t trying to murder me, either. There’s probably an American hitman on his way right now to take us all out and make it look like an accident.”
“He would definitely hire locally,” Jungwoo corrects you.
“And here I thought you were braver than that,” Doyoung muses. “Do you think we need his permission? You certainly don't.”
That makes you pause. You look at Jaehyun. Of all the people in the world he was the closest to their former leader. They’d fought even more than he and you had, and Jaehyun had always conceded, taking it on the chin, letting Johnny drag him along in his wake. The one time he'd stood up to him had been for you and it had almost fractured everything irreparably.
His black eyes pierce into you when he looks up.
“I think y/n can make any decision she wants to,” he says dangerously. “None of us will stand in your way, whatever you choose.”
“You promise?” you ask, tilting your head to let your wet hair brush over your bare shoulder.
“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Jungwoo says.
You wait for the others to show visual signs of concession: Jaehyun nodding, Doyoung making the sign of the cross in what is an obvious misuse of the gesture.
“Good. Because if Johnny finds out what I’m doing on this trip, he’s not the only one who will kill you.”
"I think we should start enacting a punishment whenever she brings him up again," Doyoung says.
"Great idea," Jungwoo says, sweeping you into his wet hold from behind. The chill you'd been feeling exposed to the air dissipates a little, his warm chest against your bare shoulders. You shiver a little at the intimacy, feeling him laugh even if he doesn’t make a sound.
“What will it be?” Doyoung defers to Jaehyun.
He leans back . “She does something to distract herself.”
You purse your lips together, affecting an air of deep thought. "My choice?"
"Always," he says, not breaking eye contact.
"Rock, paper, scissors, then." You nod at him. He grins, Doyoung groans. Jungwoo's long arms wrap around your waist, hands already in position.
"Surely there's a better way we could eliminate your options," Doyoung says, almost missing the cue and throwing paper to the other two's scissors.
"Better luck next time," you tease.
"Kiss it for luck." The back of Jungwoo's hand presses to your mouth moments before Jaehyun initiates.
Jungwoo loses the second quick round after a draw, crushed by Jaehyun's rock.
"I should have known you were cursed." Jungwoo pouts, not letting you free until you've ducked back into the water to escape him. You give him a wink as you swim towards the stairs, emerging between Jaehyun's spread legs before he can close them.
"What are you doing?" he asks, warily, still leaned back against the last stair.
"What I want," you say, blinking drops from your lashes. You move weightlessly on to his thighs, grabbing his soft face in your hands. He's unable to process what's happening quickly enough to respond as you tilt his face up and press a gentle kiss to his parted mouth.
You ignore Jungwoo's wolf-whistle in the background, partially aware Doyoung has shifted nearby the moment you'd slid into your friend's lap. All that is noise as the gentle sound of the water feature drowns the startled sound you make when you're grabbed and pulled back to Jaehyun's mouth.
This time it's real: solid and delicious as he crushes against you, tongue sliding across the seam of your lips until you let go of your held breath to softly exhale into his. Small dips of his chin coax you into opening for him, your hands threading into his hair to anticipate his movements as he kisses you like it's the last time in his life he'll ever get the chance.
"That's enough," Doyoung says, Jungwoo booing him.
The other two may as well not exist, your thumbs circling Jaehyun's cheekbones as you retreat to inspect the damage. He's usually so composed it feels like peering into a different universe's version of him, rapture and satisfaction warring with concern in his expression.
"Thank you," you whisper. His eyes focus again, teeth exposed as he tongues them.
"Any time," he says. It's funny how instantly he regrets the word choice, the pink in his ears and cheeks deepening.
"Not thinking about you-know-who now, are you?" Jungwoo asks, right behind you.
"No," you say. "But I suspect you wish I'd say yes if only for the consequences."
"That was hot," he admits. "But I don't typically like my prospects thinking about other men."
"Can I tell you a secret?" You crook your finger, clutching on to Jungwoo's wet patterned shirt when he leans down far enough to be in range.
"I only made you play for it so we could find out who goes first." You say it in his ear, letting your mouth drag against the shell.
He pulls back, hesitant, nose brushing against your cheek.
"Really?"
"Kiss me and find out," you offer.
He doesn't wait, lashes against his cheeks as he meets you halfway, tilting your head to the side for full exploration of your lips. He's much gentler than you expected, shy almost, tender even when your tongue meets his and you can taste the hint of sticky mango rice you'd had for dessert earlier.
"Good boy," you say once you've broken free. He smiles in the way you're used to the most, right side of his face crooking with an edge of deviousness.
You turn to find Jaehyun watching, eyes starry with arousal but unreadable. Doyoung is on his feet as if he's preparing his exit, expression stony.
"Is something wrong?" you ask, meeting his calculating stare.
Doyoung opens and shuts his mouth, water pooling at his feet.
"Not enough punishment for you?" There's an edge to your voice that you recognize as the tone you'd used many times before, in your idiotic quest to tame one of his own.
The tension breaks when Doyoung laughs softly, crouching down and crooking his finger. You wade up the steps to meet him, hyper aware of the drag of eyes on you as you emerge from the water, dress clinging to your skin.
"I planned out such a nice trip for you, and this is what you really want?" Doyoung asks, eyes traveling down your body and back to your face in the kind of assessment that you'd seen other people wither under.
"Why do you think I agreed to come?"
“Noted.”
He nods, slightly, but makes no move to take what you'd already given the others. You don't let it dissuade you, fingers digging into the hard line of his shoulders to press your lips to his.
It's like kissing a statue. A challenge you're willing to meet as you delve further, rocking him back on his heels. You pry open his mouth with gentle bites and licks between each kiss, past his perfect teeth until you can explore his tongue with your own. You don't realize your hands are fisted in his wet hair until you're done, finding him collapsed on the wet cement, panting.
"Was that sufficient punishment?" you ask.
"For you? Absolutely not," Doyoung says, the rare full smile gracing his kiss-swollen mouth. "For them? Yes."
You glance back at your other two companions, clocking that they're both nearer than you remembered. Jaehyun's hand drifts over your hip, as if he's questioning letting you go in the first place.
"Should we set some rules? Or are you all going to take them as an excuse to break them?"
Jungwoo chuckles.
"No competition. Equal time, equal attention. And no possessiveness," you state. Doyoung looks up from under his brows with amusement, clearly enjoying your groundless attempt to set boundaries.
"I don't care what you throw at me as long as you don't walk back what you said about our friendship."
"I think we're something different now," Jaehyun says, voice cracking.
"I know," you say. You run a hand over his head, feeling his temple come to rest against your waist. "But you crossed that line first. I'm just saving you the trouble of playing some silly game to come on to me. I'm not a prize to win. I'm a person who knows you all better than you think."
You turn to Doyoung again, holding your ground. "You said you'd give me the true F4 experience."
"Within reason," he demures.
"Then lose your hangups and let me have a taste of what it's like to be just one of those girls you have no problem with having fun with. No special treatment, no regrets."
The stunned silence has you feeling a twinge of embarrassment at pushing your agenda this far.
"Impossible," Jungwoo answers.
"Why not?"
He pulls the hair away from your neck to kiss beneath your ear. Gooseflesh appears on your arms even in the warm air, anticipating his answer, but he's too occupied with trailing his mouth down, sucking lightly over your pulse. You feel dizzy, hand reaching back to hold his head to you.
Once he's had enough of watching you unravel Doyoung jerks you forward, grip tight around your wrist.
It's a familiar gesture, a reminder you are at their mercy. He cuffs his hand around your neck like he's going in for another kiss, stopping at a few inches.
"You don't get to set all the rules. This one especially. You are not just some girl with whom we engage in forgettable, inconsequential relations."
He pauses, eyes darting to your mouth before meeting yours again. "If we go down this path you're getting the real thing. All of it."
"We know you have experience." Jungwoo adds.
Oh you knew. They fucked around but they were careful about it, always gentlemen, always above board. NDAs in some cases, mostly for Doyoung. You didn’t know all of their specific proclivities outside of Jungwoo exclusively chasing women a generation older but you suspected whatever they enjoyed was much less wholesome.
Like Johnny's needs once he'd finally had you. He'd bent that way and much, much more. The difference was he'd never been as precious with you as they were with their little conquests.
If they didn't want the safety of a legal cushion it didn't mean they didn't need it–they just didn't think it would be a problem.
"I'm sure you've heard a lot of things about me," you say. A whisper of rage underlies the words, colored by so many rumors foisted on you well before you'd ever accepted their company–even more when they had.
Whore. Cockslut. Used goods.
Johnny had always been a contradiction–surprisingly prudish about sex but quick to use the grossest allusions to it when pressed for details by his friends, liberal in his name calling. They'd known him since childhood–they didn't believe him, even if everyone else had taken his words as gospel. You'd had your revenge by proving just how true those words could be in private.
"We don't know anything you don't," Jaehyun says, quickly.
"Still, I don't think you know what you're signing up for," you say. "If anyone is using anyone in this arrangement, it's going to be me. Or I'm out."
"You worried we can't show you a good time?" Jungwoo asks. It's a funny question with him pressed into your back like he'll push your head down into the water if you answer incorrectly.
"I'm worried you'll chicken out," you say, grabbing Doyoung's wrist to keep his fingers on you, covering them with yours to increase the tension. You'd always been strong.
Doyoung's expression is matched by his lingering hold on your throat, squeezing a little and making your eyes drift shut in pleasure.
"You always did seem to enjoy the humiliation a little more than our other targets. Can't say it wasn't an encouraging factor. You like it, don't you?"
He lets you go with a slight push, registering the way your eyes haze over with reflected lust.
"Yeah. Blame a few formative years of getting my signals crossed. Just part of the damage." There's no shame in your voice, another casualty of their efforts.
"You're not damaged," Jaehyun remarks.
"Not beyond repair," you agree, gaze burning into Doyoung's. His regard is a thousand times more revealing than a kiss, most especially the tic in his cheek every time Jungwoo decides to leave a mark with his tongue and teeth on your throat and you reward him with a moan.
"Should be fun seeing which one of us can push past your comfort zone, then," Jungwoo says, breath cooling the last bruise he's left on the back of your neck. "Find out if you have one."
"You're not dropping the competition?"
Nervous anticipation gives you butterflies, different than the ones springing up being teased by the three of them. Not one of them accepted being outclassed.
"No." Jaehyun says it well before the others. His hands drop to your legs to hold you steady as Jungwoo continues his assault on your neck. "But equal opportunity. I think we can all agree on that."
"Don't worry, we'll play fair," Jungwoo says, biting your shoulder. You jerk in his grasp, vaguely aware of fingers at your hem. Doyoung continues to watch, tongue darting over his lips.
"I hope not," you say. "I won't."
It's all the permission your captors need.
Your breath stutters as Jaehyun's hand slides up your inner thigh, circling the wet skin absent-mindedly. You whine a little, teased by the first intimate touch you've had in months.
"You better stay quiet. We do have neighbors," Doyoung says, voice pitched low.
"Think you can shut me up?"
He takes the hint, sliding his legs back over the ledge, letting you finish unbuttoning his shirt to expose his creamy skin. You spread your fingers over his firm abdomen, flicking aside the sheer fabric. He's intoxicatingly sensitive, muscles tensing as you follow the path of water down his long waist.
"You sure you want to play this game?" Doyoung asks, hand resting on your shaking fingers as you struggle to unbutton his damp jeans.
You look down at Jaehyun, smiling at him when you find he's still enraptured by your upper thighs. You wait until he looks back up, head cocked for permission.
"You alright with sharing me, tonight?"
Miles are crossed, bridges are burned as he contemplates the ask, returning to his shy efforts at warming your naked skin, lifting your hem to dangerous territory.
"Wouldn't dare stand in your way."
Jaehyun's approval is the best thing you've seen in a long time, even more so when he adjusts to be eye level with your now exposed underwear, back pressed to Doyoung's leg.
Jungwoo tugs at the strap of your dress playfully.
"Can puppy wait his turn?" you ask, looking up at your other torturer.
Jungwoo kisses you over your shoulder, messily, before casually breaking one of the thin straps of your dress where it's attached to the delicate gold cherub adornment. The night air pebbles your skin, exposed nipple hardening more as he trails a fingertip lazily around it.
"As long as you need."
He angles you down a bit towards the other man, just as Jaehyun's mouth finds you through the thin fabric of your lingerie–hot and perfect. Your knees are already weak and you have to catch yourself on Doyoung's thighs as you're touched and kissed and licked, still partially submerged and torn between warm and warmer.
There's a bit of menace in Doyoung's face, watching you unzip and find his length. He adjusts a little when you tug down the elastic waistband of his underwear, his cock already mostly erect despite the water. He's not as big as Johnny but perfectly sized, long and veined as he hardens in your hand.
You experiment with laves of your tongue against his flushed head, watching him for a reaction through your lashes.
"Sucking me off before I can even take you on a proper date." He tsks, the sound changing when you lower your head, tongue folding around his tip to devour him whole.
"You look so good with my cock in your mouth," he says. "Wish I could take a picture–"
You cut him short by taking him deeper, feeling him press at the back of your mouth. It's been awhile since you tested your gag reflex.
Thankfully Jaehyun has compromised on watching you while pushing your underwear into your sticky folds, Jungwoo playing with your breasts in the most maddening way possible with soft flicks and tugs.
Both of them are sending you skyrocketing to a level of joy yet unexperienced this lifetime, much less this year. You have to concentrate on Doyoung to keep from falling apart too quickly.
Jungwoo's long fingers help clear your hair from your face so you can breathe, giving them all a better view as you choke, letting drool slip from your mouth as you take it deep and hard.
The noises coming from your throat are nowhere near as obscene as the sounds Doyoung makes, angled back and thrusting weakly with each moan. You always thought his voice was beautiful, scratchy and breathy, but hearing him say your name in between gasps has your entire body enflamed.
"Fuck, you're good," Doyoung says quietly, angled back on his elbows.
Jungwoo holds your damp hair back, wrapping it in his fist to help guide you more gently. You relax your throat and take it, tears leaking from your eyes. If touch had you vibrating before, the sensation of being debased in this way has you dripping, your arousal exposed by Jaehyun's fingers slipping your panties down to the water.
"She's soaked," he says, running a single finger through your folds. You answer with a groan, other hand in his hair to hold him back before he can dip in again.
Jungwoo tests you, too, giving you a few swipes to collect your slick. He brings his fingertips to your mouth when you finally take a breath, letting you clean them.
It's delightful how Doyoung is unraveling already, arched back, eyes glassy. He drinks in the sight of you sucking two of Jungwoo's fingers until your cheeks hollow.
"You think you can finish what you started?" you ask.
"I don't think I'll ever want it to end," he admits.
"How about coming on my tongue?" You ask, pumping him slowly. You chase the taste of yourself with kitten licks of the beads of white on his head, going lower to trace his veins.
"Only if you want to swallow everyone tonight," Doyoung says. The offer is tempting. You hesitate long enough that he reads you like an open book, adding an edge of threat. "Or do you want to be stuffed like the little whore you are?"
The affectation has you seizing up in long-withheld gratification. Jungwoo grinds against your ass as Jaehyun ignores your hold to finally lick long paths up your inner thighs, chasing trails of slippery arousal and water to dive in, fingers spreading your legs wide.
It's impossible to find a retort, sinking back into Jungwoo's embrace as you're attacked from below.
"I think you should only fuck me if you can make me come," you counter. "And it's still Jaehyun's turn–"
Your words are punctuated by a cry, Jungwoo's hand clapped over your mouth as Jaehyun pumps into you with two fingers, hooking into your g-spot.
"Ooh," Jungwoo says over your head. "Guess you'll have to wait."
Doyoung sighs, taking over with his hand when you're bodily dragged back, Jungwoo lifting your dress to take it off.
"Leave it on," Doyoung says. "The ravaged look suits her."
You shoot him a look, unable to maintain your expression when Jaehyun's mouth works likes he's devouring you in turn, teeth scraping as he explores every inch of you, teasing your clit with darts of his tongue. Jungwoo frees your mouth to let you breathe, babbled words of praise spilling from you in between small cries.
"So good, so right, god, fuck–fuck." You're inarticulate as Jaehyun pumps his fingers slowly, spreading you and pressing right below his languid tongueing. Jungwoo's attention returns to your sensitive breasts, gently twisting each bud between his fingertips.
"Keep it down," Doyoung warns, but it's impossible.
Electric tingles spread down to your toes, tipped against the smooth pool floor. You let yourself relax in Jungwoo's hold, curling over your lover's head. Jaehyun is incredibly careful with you even as you're brought deeper, water lapping at his collarbones as he holds you spread and licks you in broad swaths.
"Need a hand?" Jungwoo asks, somehow catching Jaehyun's nod mid-effort. You're unmoored by the hand that slips in from behind, fingers curling into you shallowly, water lapping your immersed buttocks. Jaehyun gives up control but he's still also buried in you, drawing wetness out of you with each stroke of his fingers.
Jungwoo matches his speed, knuckle to knuckle, as Jaehyun moves up to apply pressure to your clit again.
"You two can get her ready. I want her after she's been used," Jungwoo says.
"Of course you do," Doyoung says, dropping back in the water, demanding your attention. You indulge him with your hand, pumping him loosely beneath the surface. It's hard to coordinate as Jungwoo's hand fucks you into the pressure of Jaehyun's grip tight on your upper thighs, each circle of his tongue on your clit making your vision shimmer.
"She's so close. Bet we can make her squirt."
"No," you say, automatically self-conscious.
"Did you hear that? She thinks she has a choice." The heel of Jungwoo's palm smacks wetly against your ass as he finger-fucks you, already too much before Jaehyun seems to pull you towards him, pressing hard into your walls. It's unlike anything you've ever felt, completely at their mercy as Jaehyun applies suction to your clit to bring you to the brink.
"Come for us," Doyoung says. He's pressed to your side, rutting against your waist while taking your mouth to keep the shriek building inside your throat muffled.
There's no controlling the powerful waves tearing through your core, your legs shaking and buckling as the orgasm begins and doesn't seem to end, torn from you between all three of them. A hot gush of liquid coats your thighs as you throb around their fingers, pleasure morphing into pain until you're begging for them to stop.
Jaehyun is the first to let you go, rising to share your release with a crushing kiss that takes your breath away, Jungwoo's fingers still reaching deep inside you.
"Good girl," Jungwoo says. "Was that your first time?"
You nod, cheeks hot, forehead pressed to Jaehyun's. You cling to him, still not quite down to earth from your climax.
"Thank you," Jaehyun says, laughing slightly. "Was that too intense?"
"No," you shake your head. "Just hold me, please."
"Forever," he says, lifting you to straddle his hips. He manages the stairs to collapse on the deck, wrapping you tight in his arms as you kiss him deeply, cleaning his face of your release with gentle swipes of your fingers.
"You sure you don't want to go inside?" he asks, when you begin to unwrap him from his shirt.
"I need you so much," you say. "I can't wait another moment."
He grins, shyly, kissing you as you help him out of his undershirt to reveal his swimmer's frame, triangular torso buckling into visible abdominal muscles. He's breath-taking, even more beautiful when you help him out of his pants and underwear to find his thighs flexed beneath his hard cock, shorter but thicker and so perfectly full and ready for you to sink down on.
He doesn't question taking you raw–brow furrowing in concentration as you adjust to his girth slowly.
"We'll do this without an audience soon," you whisper, hoping he can still hear you as he bottoms out in your heat and his eyes flutter shut.
"Yeah," he says, breathily. He's not moving, soaking in the sensation of having you completely wrapped around him. "I couldn't wait, either. You feel just as perfect as I imagined."
"So good," you assure him, moving for him. The lingering effects of coming harder than you think you ever have in your life aren't stopping you from bearing down on him, taking him harder and deeper with his wide shoulders for leverage.
"Fuck, baby," Jaehyun growls. "I'm not gonna last like this."
He takes control with a firm grasp on your waist, pumping up into you. Soon he's bouncing you mercilessly into his hips, laid back on his wet clothes.
You haven't forgotten about the other two men, not when Doyoung's kneeled behind you, straddling Jaehyun's legs to stroke himself against the swell of your ass.
Jungwoo grabs your hand to wrap around his own exposed cock, letting you feel him before you can even take in the sight of him bobbing over your head. Your finger and thumb can barely connect around his shaft, length too much to fit half of it in your mouth before you know it will be in your throat. Now you understand why the screams you'd heard from his room always sounded on the borderline of pain.
"Too much for you?" He asks, angling the velvety soft head to catch on your open lips. Jaehyun slows down his thrusts to let you ease into taking the other man, pumping Jungwoo's base as best as you can as you sloppily accept the suffocation.
"Must have had a lot of practice getting your throat fucked to take me so well," he says, angling your head to move past the back of your tongue. You can't answer so you squeeze his balls instead, applying just enough pressure with your nails to have him groaning in appreciation.
You lose your rhythm when you feel spit drip down your back, Doyoung collecting your earlier release from your thighs and mixing it with his saliva to rub his fingers against your puckered hole.
"Are you gonna be a good girl for all of us?" he asks, pressing a digit into the ring of muscle, causing you to choke on the heavy weight in your mouth.
Jungwoo pulls out, saliva trailing from your lips as he gives you a break to adjust. You press your forehead to the sheer tank separating you from his flat belly as you look over your shoulder.
"I can take it," you say, trying to relax. Doyoung inserts another slender finger, making you clench around him and Jaehyun until the other man is panting.
"I didn't ask if you could take it. I asked if you were going to be good."
"Fuck me and find out," you taunt. He's not like the others–he denies you anything but the wedge of his fingers into your ass, adding a third to stretch you when you're not loose enough.
Jaehyun fucks against the intrusion, holding out until you're closer as he twines his fingers with yours and watches you work Jungwoo's oversized cock in your mouth and hand.
"Knew you were a little slut who wanted to have all her holes stuffed. One of us wasn't enough for you, you had to make us share. I'm the only one who gets to fuck this tight little ass, though."
Doyoung drops another gob of spit on the dimple at the base of your spine, letting it slide over the gape left when he slides out his fingers. You cry out at the first intrusion of his cock into your barely-lubed hole, fighting to stay on top of Jaehyun as he works in with shallow thrusts, inch by agonizing inch.
"Keep forcing me out," Doyoung says. "I'll just fuck you harder."
As if to prove his point he grabs on to your ruined dress at the back, arching your spine for you and making you take him deeper. The burning pain blurs into delicious aching pleasure–you needed this more than you could have even imagined. Jaehyun grunts inarticulately, palming your breasts and squeezing them in time to the ecstatic shudders rolling through your body as you're filled.
"Open up for me," Jungwoo says, cock back in your gaping mouth. You let him hold you by the hair to fuck into your mouth, spit and tears mixing to splash on your breasts.
When they resume their individual efforts you feel yourself being pulled apart by sensation, only able to manage sharp breaths through your nose to keep from drowning as tears leak from your eyes and sobs rip from your throat.
"No cumming until she creams herself on Jaehyun," Doyoung says, reaching around to press hard into your clit. It's a hard ask with how overstimulated you already are but you can feel your muscles tightening against your will. Doyoung and Jaehyun's uhhs and mms mix in your ears, Jungwoo softly praising you when your jaw relaxes to swallow him despite the rock of your body against the other two.
"Fuck she's so tight," Jaehyun says. "I don't know if I can wait."
"Wait." Doyoung orders, picking up his pace. "She's close. Make sure she remembers to breathe."
Jungwoo groans, pulling out with a last slap of his head on your tongue, letting you lap at the precum leaking from him. "You two are useless."
He kneels down beside you, wresting Doyoung's hand away from your sore folds and rubbing soft, tight circles around your nub. It's not the stimulation as much as his mouth on yours, kissing with as much care and intimacy as you'd felt before, that carries you to a peak again.
"Oh fuck," Jaehyun says, lifting you with a last upwards jerk of his hips and spilling inside you. The rush of warm heat is so good you chase it, overworked muscles unable to hold against the sensation and twitching powerfully around both of their cocks buried deep inside you.
Just as quickly your knees give out, collapsing half on Jaehyun and Jungwoo. Doyoung's shallow movements turn violent as he no longer bothers to keep you locked on Jaehyun, thrusting a few more times into your throbbing heat before emptying himself and pulling out to rub the last few spurts onto your skin.
"Shh," Jungwoo says when you continue to whimper, sniffling from the tears sliding down your cheeks. "You're almost done."
You shake your head half-heartedly, clinging to his shirt. You're dizzy, adrenaline fading and leaving you boneless and blotted out.
"Please. Maybe just a breather?" you beg. "My legs . . ."
Jaehyun lifts you, and you hiss at the raw pain of your abused knees, grit brushed away by someone else's hands.
"Poor baby." Doyoung says. "Should have done this in bed but you just couldn't wait."
"'S fine," you mumble, swimming in the glow of your last orgasm. "Bed sounds nice."
"Get a towel," Jungwoo says, and Jaehyun rushes to grab one for you. Instead of cleaning or drying you off Jungwoo carries you to the edge of the pool, slipping in and cramming the soft fabric under you as he lets your legs dangle over the edge and into the water.
"What are you doing, puppy?" You manage to ask, holding on to his neck.
"Don't worry. I'll be careful," he says, palming himself between your legs. "Someone want to keep her head up? I need her to watch."
Jaehyun adjusts to embrace you from behind, spreading your limp legs so they can all see the steady leak of cum from your gaping holes. You hear the telltale click of a picture being taken, distantly aware Doyoung's phone is still–obviously–working.
"What . . . ?" You ask drowsily, acquiescencing to the pull of your dress over your head and off of you. You shiver deeply, warmed by the body heat of the man behind you as the other strips in front of you.
"You're going to come for us one more time," Jungwoo says, rising out of the water to pump himself at your leaking core. "I'm not letting you go until I can wring every last drop out of you."
"Fuck," you protest, writhing as he pulls you almost off the hard deck and onto his ready length. Jaehyun holds you tight, arm under your breasts as Jungwoo slides into the mess of cum and slick between your thighs.
"That's right, take it," Jungwoo says, pinning you against Jaehyun. "Breathe, baby."
"Too much," you sob, finding he's not even fully sheathed when the familiar ache in your belly of being hit too deep whites out your brain.
"You don't want your puppy?" Jungwoo can barely speak, ramming in deeper with each rock of his hips. "Don't want to be a good mommy and take all of me?"
Jaehyun is already semi-hard against your back, and you catch Doyoung's approval before he replaces it with a feigned look of disgust, slipping into the water to watch you both. You can see his arm flex, jerking himself underwater, the other holding his phone up.
"If we'd known you were such a whore we would have fucked you sooner. It looks like you'll need some more breaking in."
You cry out, stretched tight around the thicker root of Jungwoo's cock, letting him wrap your legs over his shoulders for maximum depth. Whatever pain you feel is so merged with the fullness and perfect hit of him against your walls that you don't mind it, you can't help but slip into a dreamy state of bliss.
"You're doing so well," Jaehyun says into the hair at your temple. "Can't wait to treat you right. Make you come on my tongue again as many times as I can before the sun rises."
"No, no, no," you moan.
Jaehyun pinches your nipple to wake you up, Jungwoo gasping when you manage to clench around him.
"You both got her pussy first. You should let me take her tonight. Keep her awake by fucking her as soon as she falls asleep." Doyoung threatens, pulling your leg aside to get the best angle of you being impaled and stretched fuller than you'd ever thought you could be.
"No one's getting her if she doesn't come again," Jungwoo says. He meets your tear-filled gaze, eyes half-lidded. "Is that what you want? To fall asleep on my cock and let me warm you all night until you're ready to fuck me?"
"Please, come for me, puppy," you manage to bite out, touching yourself in earnest to try and fight back. "So big for me, fill me up."
He takes the bait–you're folded in half, legs bent to your chest as he drives in, balls slapping wetly against you. When you're pliant again he readjusts his strokes to press into your upper walls with each rotation of his hips, and for the first time in a long time you realize you're getting close on cock alone.
Jaehyun seems to feel the change in you, grinding against your back as his hand holds your throat so you can't turn away. The pressure makes you practically feral, crying out for more.
"Just like that, like that, please please please," you moan over the lap of the water.
"Feel you sucking me in," Jungwoo says, face flushed and sweaty over you, hair dripping water onto your curled belly. "Let go for me so I can come in you so deep you can taste it."
"Yes, yes, please." You buck with the sudden electric tingle of another climax, steady tempo leading you to softer spasms than before. It's fine if you can't tell where you're at or what you're feeling because Jungwoo can, one final snap of his hips dropping you into fucked out darkness.
When you come to again you're wrapped around him in the pool, gasping at the sensation of his cock still slowly pumping the last of his release into you.
"Trust me," he says, hands under your backside, lowering you into water suspended between the night and the warmth below.
Doyoung spreads a hand over your breasts, Jaehyun beside him to hold your neck like he's teaching you to float. You let your mouth fall open and your eyes clench shut, tasting pool water before one of them–Doyoung probably, by the sounds--releases thick, white stripes across your tongue. Jaehyun follows suit, cockhead nudging against the underside of your breast as he paints your torso with molten heat.
"Fuck that was incredible," Jungwoo says, slipping out of you finally so you can sink into the water. You submerge as much as you can to lose the coat of stickiness, until Doyoung decides you're done, pulling you out and against his chest.
"That was . . . a lot," you admit, shaking against him.
"You did so well." He soothes you with a hand on your head, clearing your hair from your face delicately to press a kiss to your forehead. The gesture is so at odds with his recent persona that you can't resist burrowing into it, relaxing fully against his naked chest. "Not bad for an initiation."
"I'm one of you, now?" you murmur.
"Always were," Jaehyun says. He doesn't dare take you from Doyoung but he does lean down to kiss you deeply, hand running broad circles over your spine.
"Just think of all those red cards as an invitation." Jungwoo jokes, sinking down to eye level to caress your cheek.
You remember scraped knees and busted lips, cafeteria trays dumped on you by entire tables of jealous girls and sycophantic boys. Johnny humiliating you, ordering you to clean his shoe with his tongue when you'd taken the place of your weaker friend who'd spilled on it.
But you also remember the small moments of acknowledgement–the way Jungwoo had lingered outside your work waiting to get off when you closed to walk you home at night, or how Doyoung had bought out the entire store when you'd used the shitty part-time job as an excuse to duck out of being his date to a formal dinner you had no business being at.
And most of all, all those hours spent sitting beside Jaehyun in your rooftop retreat, silently appreciating the late afternoon sun turning the city brilliant as you shared one half of a wired headphone.
Maybe having your heart ripped out was worth it, if it meant having this.
"Which one of us do you want to take care of you tonight?" Doyoung asks.
You smile into his cool skin, melting into the knowledge that you've earned a place very few had shared. You'll enjoy it as long as it can last.
"Play for it."
#nct dojaejung smut#doyoung smut#jaehyun smut#jungwoo smut#nct x reader#nct imagines#nct f4 au#nct dojaejung fic#dojaejung fic#nct fic#nct smut
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Hi, same anon from the mxfruit ask :) im sorry if im bothering you too much, but you mentioned there are other darker skinned or afroasians influencers/artists…would you mind telling me which ones do you follow/are your favorites? Would love to give them support as well :)
It's not a bother AT ALL!!! I appreciate you wanting to show support... it means a lot ❤️❤️❤️
I'm going to start off with the KING (not literally hehe) Morris K. If you are a fan of Thai BL, then you'll probably recognize him from Triage... and if you haven't seen Triage then I highly recommend you do!!! But... he has quite the acting career under his belt. He's been very open about his struggles being half-black, and how his being the first black celebrity in Thailand was a difficult journey. He's a huge advocate for more opportunities for Thai-black people in show business. He literally paved the way and I have great respect for him.
Tsunari. She is half-Thai and half-Trinidadian. If you're a fan of rap or hip hop, then I highly recommend her music. She often mixes in some english with her thai lyrics... and she's done a few covers of western artists. Give her a listen on youtube!!!
badmixy. She is an openly trans and proud Thai singer. She writes her own music and her lyrics have occasionally brought me to tears. Again, give her a listen over on youtube.
Rusameekae Fagerlund. He is an openly queer Senegalese-Thai actor, model, and mc. He's done several interviews to raise awareness about homophobia and racism in Thailand. He was named Scene Stealer of the Year in 2016 for his role in เพื่อนรัก เพื่อนร้าย (Best Friends, Bad Friends). He was a host on "Dress My Love" which is available on youtube (I don't think it's subbed though) which was a fun program where they would talk about fashion and have couples on as guests where one would style the other according to a certain theme.
Nam Patcharaporn and Maeya Nonthawan. Both are beauty pageant winners who faced criticism and unnecessary backlash for their darker skin.
Suzie Natthawadee. She is a social media influencer and vlogger that gained popularity when she spoke up about the Black Lives Matter movement in the United States and how Thailand should reflect on their own ideas about race and skin color. You can follow her on ig and tiktok @ suziewadee.
Esther Oruche. I might have spoken about her before hehe. She's fairly new to the scene, but I'm very much looking forward to her future projects... have I mentioned The Last Case enough??? I don't think so.... Please support her and her series!!!
#thailand#these are just a few#if anyone would like to add on to this#please feel free#thai actors#morris k#rusameekae fagerlund#esther oruche#thai artist#tsunari#thai singer#badmixy#answered#talk thai to me
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Love Sea Ep 2 Thoughts
Love Sea is, as of ep2, my favourite show airing from Thailand right now.
In addition to being beautiful, and sexy, this show is funny. And I appreciate so much that sex is being treated as a fun thing people who choose to sometimes engage in together rather than as a proxy for/declaration of love (it can be that too, but we get that a lot, and that's not all sex is or can be).
Rak and Mut start off in ep1 by being clearly attracted to each other, maybe even curious about each other, and in some ways having fun getting one over on the other, but they don't really like each other yet. In episode 2, they have sex and then more sex and they are intrigued. They spend more time together over the episode, have a few real conversations, and we get to watch them start to actually like each other in real time. It's fantastic.
I also want to shout out the way this show is highlighting the importance of supporting local business when you travel, and safe sex (one day, I pray, someone will not open a condom with their mouth, unfortunately today was not that day), and being respectful of one another's out statuses (checking in on whether each of them was concerned about being seen with another man before doing any public canoodling was a fantastic touch, especially Rak understanding that there were higher stakes for Mut because this was his hometown). I also love how this show is handling its class dynamics so far, it is very intentional and I'm enjoying watching it play out.
This show has also laid some groundwork for future plot stuff that I am very excited about.
There was a moment in this episode where Rak talks about being an author and how some readers criticize his work for being unrealistic, when he writes fantasy so of course what's happening should be unrealistic. In addition to this moment feeling a little like MAME was staring directly into the camera, it also is interesting in the context of Rak's panic-attack-flashback when he remembers his mother telling him that he should not love anyone to avoid being abandoned like his mother; he then later says love is a figment of our imagination.
Well, guess who's a fantasy BL author? I'm assuming he's going to write this fantasy and will need to be brought around to believing that it can be true. Luckily Masamut is an experienced guide.
We've also got context that Rak's father said he'd stay if he were paid, which means Mut has set himself perfectly as someone Rak can trust to stick around, because/as long as he's being paid by Rak. The trick will be in getting him to believe that he won't be abandoned as soon as he stops paying.
Finally, Mut mentioning his father kicking him out when he was 15 had me very curious--what did they not see eye-to-eye on?
I'm admittedly still unsure what's happening with the GL side couple; the fact that Muk was excited to be kissed by Vi, things aren't quite what they seemed in ep1.
Very much looking forward to watching all of this unfold in this gorgeous show over the next several weeks!
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This Week in BL - A Lot Ended, Quite Bit Started, I got things to say about it all
Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
Nov 2023 Wk 2
Ongoing Series - Thai
My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) 3 of 8 - This is just a great BL. So fun with few frills and paced nicely. Thai talent + Korean story is proving very harmonious for narrative flow. I’m delighted. I love that they don’t shy away from letting Tew be an actual violent criminal who is just gone and mushy for this one geeky cutie. Also I appreciate it when a show hangs a lantern on its own plot failing. In this case, the main character being drunk as a plot devise 2x in subsequent eps.
Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 2 of 10 - Love it. Love Spite and his chronic guilt over his younger brother, the golden child. Love that he is driven to repair for a past that no longer exists. Evil mom who cares more for what her son can do than that son, let alone his brother. The volleyball well…. erm. I played varsity (setter) so this is amusing to me but I’m not mad about it.
I agree that this Not Me just sports and pulp.
Last Twilight (Fri YT) 1 of 12 - JimmySea are back and is this... good? Do I like this? I don't have faith, GMMTV has been doing us dirty lately. But I think I like it! Why The Little Prince AGAIN? Ugh.
Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI 1 of 8 - Domundi giving us an office comedy hyung romance staring TutorYim (Cutie Pie) with NetJames (Bed Friend) and LeoTai (Friend Forever) providing support. Lets hope they stick to only 8 eps. Buckle up, I got shit talking to type.
I warned ya out the gate that this is a Cheewin comedy, so tonally it could be very OFF, and boy howdy is it EVER off. There's a place this kind of show goes where it's so cringe it's visually rotten and this one went there out that gate. Also, I'm gonna say it because no one else has, Yim is not good in this role. Comedy is HARD to do and Cheewin isn't doing this green actor any favors. He's chewing the scenery like a woodchuck after a diet.
To be fair, Tutor isn't great either, but he's been given less rope to hang himself with. Mai is currently suffering from seme obscurity: the love interest's defining characterization being = tall and handsome. (Which is not characterization... agony... glares at Cdramas.) We will see if he gets a personality, but based on past work form this director and this writer, don't bank on it.
Frankly? I'm not convinced either of them are mature enough as a pair or as actors to carry something this abrasive and to stand up to Cheewin's visual abuse of our eyeballs. I think this is going to be a rocky ride. HOWEVER, because it has tropes I'm good with (as opposed to SCOY) I'm sticking with it for now but this is gonna be ROUGH going for everyone.
Backstory: This used to be a JimmyTommy vehicle before the pair split (also prev title Middle Love). Adapted from a Y-novel. I can actually see Tommy in this role very clearly and I suspect he may have been bettern(and I am more a TutorYim fan as a pair). Also I will likely be referencing SCOY a lot while watching this because SCOY is peak Cheewin nonsense comedy but with an incredibly strong lead pair, so comparisons will be drawn.
Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - Sigh. Linguistic negotiation but for sad reasons? It fascinating but it hurts. Look, the cast is very good I just don’t like the premise.
My Universe (Sun iQIYI) The Camp Fire ep 12 of 24 - Well that was extremely odd. I’m not sure how I feel about it. If it hadn’t had the strange framework and horror component and been just a simple BL story I probably would’ve enjoyed it. Why do the pulps always squander their best pairs? 5/10 New installment (Friends Forever) looks terrible and not BL.
Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) qp 1 of 8 - House of Stars meets Boyband. I am not impressed. Thailand just needs to leave everything music related to Korea. I’m enacting a ban. The framework on this is truly awful. The talent is not talented in acting let alone dance or song. I thought about sticking with it a few more eps but i putting in on hold. It’s too wooden even for me.
@heretherebedork I depend on you to report back. This is the kind of thing only you can watch. It’s like Cupid 2023.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - previously know as Weather Forecast Love this one popped up in MDL's currently airing, and I was like, what what? Basically: Tsundere insomniac grump and his sunshine jock ex bestie (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is involved and I love it.
It ended, are we sad? REVIEWS
Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Viki & Gaga)
Yes, we sad! Ai Di and his dumb oversized sweaters and flappy flappy sleeves are EVERYTHING.
Final ep? Nice that the elder gays got screen time, more of this please? Sides dominated this finale, matched outfits and all. Also I’m living for the Bless this Mess shirt. Finally Taiwan gave us lots of biting and a counter lift. It’s like they know me!
Quick pitch for KDTM?
The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged, but that’s normal for Taiwan. It involves all the tropes under a very casual framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. Absolutely every character is queer. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs, and a KILLER side couple. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan. 9/10 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Triggers for knife play, child abuse, lingering trauma. I found both platforms did not do a great job on subs, but I will give the edge to Viki for pure usability.
You Are Mine (Taiwan Viki & Gaga)
We are more disappointed than sad.
Far be it from me to extend this show, but we should’ve had 2 episodes of quality supportive boyfriends coping with family drama before the mom-confrontation climax and defense of the ESTABLISHED relationship. Baby's little speach had no power or impact coming where it did in this narrative, even though it was sweet. And while the make-out scenes were charming it mostly jsut felt like we'd squandered this pair. This last ep was good and rewatchable, but a series cannot be judged on its last ep alone.
Finally... could have used some side dishes. My vote? Lesbian secretaries!
Conclusion
I am sorry Taiwan, you know I love you, but I have to say it: this show was a mess of terrible pacing. And not a hot mess, sadly. I should have liked everything about this: it’s an office drama, it’s mature characters, it’s grumpy/sunshine, it’s a strong power dynamic, and it’s Taiwan - which means good chemistry. YAM was all those things and yet… something went horribly wrong with the narrative structure. You tried dears, but not hard enough. 7/10
Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga)
Well, poop. Don’t have them speak English. Also no playing drunk. Meanwhile, all the manipulative gay drama. No kiss of course.
How do I summate this?
An idol group did the best they could with a script tailored to idols but which they were not allowed to fully realize because they are active idols in the same group. Ultimately it felt a bit like OnlyOneOf were just doing one of those Kpop skits for a variety show were two of of them dresses in drag/gay/BL and "ha ha isn't it funny?" I don’t know, it was fine? 6/10
stop wasting my time, Korea
Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YT)
DNF on the advice of several of my BL spies I will not be finishing this. Apparently it pretty much ends sad. Here's an explanation.
It's Airing But...
I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) 8 eps - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. I will try it when I have some time and access to my home computer.
One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) 6 eps - adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.
WAITING FOR VERDICT OR TO BINGE
What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.
SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14eps - this is a horror BL with ghosts & paranormal elements in a boarding school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools. I'm holding off on this one and if told it's good I'll binge watch.
Next Week Looks Like This
11/15 Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo (Japan Gaga) - this BL movie is coming to Gaga.
11/16 PLAYBOYY (Thurs ????) 10 eps - trailer here, high heat and it's helmed by Cheewin (shudder) with screenplay by Den (Only Friends) under Copy A Bangkok. It's gonna be a shizz show people. It's predicting Thai style "dark" (War of Y) one of my least favorites. Apparently there is a "plot" but when has Cheewin ever bothered with plot? A university kid who was involved with escorts, sex-trade, porn, online hook-ups, drugs, prostitution, blackmail, revenge, and so forth goes missing. His twin (sigh) and two friends look for him.
11/17 Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 14 - high heat teaser here, based on alittlebixth's omegaverse novel #พิษเบ๊บ’ set in the world of car racing (author says show will not be omegaverse). Charlie (fresh face), a young hot nerd, approaches his driver idol (Pavel "my love" 2 Moons 2) to borrow a racing car and win one for the team. Production house is new to BL but behind the Club Friday stuff. Show stars many known actors: Nut (Oxygen), Pop (Ram in La Cuisine), Pon (Phai in Gen Y, we LOVE him), Benz (twins in En of Love: This Is Love Story).
Thailand bring the November heat, I guess?
Upcoming November BL
11/19 Bake Me Please (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - trailer here, stars Ohm (of OhmFluke) opposite Guide (bestie from IFYLITA) and possibly also Poom (well known, but not for BL). This looks like an actually gay version of Antique Bakery (play it again, BL). Still, I'm intrigued, it looks HELLA pretty.
11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Weds ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk. Adapted from y-novel of the same name, directed by Tu (180 Degree) stars Jet (Why You… Y Me?). When you want your old love again, but fate sends you a reaper instead. All he can do for you is kill people. I'll likely give this a pass and wait to binge if safe.
11/25 The Sign (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk, but with a suspense and adult characters. Special investigators who loved each other in previous lives reunite in new bodies. Stars Billy Patchanon (BillySeng) & Babe Tanatat (new). Includes other SCOY favorites as a special investigation team. I may give this a try because I'm into the non-horror bits.
11/26 The Whisperer (Sun ????) 1 of 10 - trailer here. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even that gives me the will. Maybe a binge for me.
11/26 Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - OffGun are back, trailer here. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S this is about Prem who runs a not-so-popular restaurant with 2 friends. About to go on a cooking competition with a huge reward, Prem gets involved with Ten, a stressed-out med student who wants Prem to teach him to cook.
11/30 For Him (Thurs ????) ep 1 of 10 - high heat trailer, I suspect iQIYI will scoop this one up. From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night (please no) based on a y-novel, man nursing a heartbreak has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. It looks terribly trashy so I'm in! Maybe I'll do a trash watch?
VIP Only (Taiwan) - may be delayed/canceled
Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (Korea) - this one may be DOA
A Breeze of Love (Korea) - I know less than nothing about this.
Nov 2023 line up with screen caps here. Not kept updated.
Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
This is in the intro card of My Dear Gangster Oppa, I'm just amusing myself.
Thank you Keseki for givign this to us twice!
Also the tears! So pretty crying.
And, of course, my favorite the biting!
Have I mentioned recently how much I love Taiwanese BL?
(Last week)
#this week in bl#bl updates#bl review#2023 bl#upcoming bl#Kiseki: Dear to Me review#Kiseki: Dear to Me#Taiwanese BL#You Are Mine review#You Are Mine#Bump Up Buisness Review#bump up business#Korean BL#My Dear Gangster Oppa#Thai BL#Twins the series#middleman's love#TutorYim#new bL#Beyond The Star#a breeze of love#Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru
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f1 pairings as famous love tropes: alex albon x logan sargeant
there was only one bed!AU
'and honey, don't you know that you and i were meant to be? sooner or later, in any universe, it's you and me'
'how are you dealing with this?'
oh, what a great question. alex glances around, checking if someone is out there. 'peachy, georgie. just peachy.'
'yeah? not freaking out?' george asks in a tone that implies he knows the answer already.
'of course not,' alex huffs. 'why would i be freaking out? yes, hotel is overbooked and apparently i don't have a room anymore because of some system lag, but my good friend logan kindly offered me to stay with him. what is there to freak out about?'
and if alex doesn't add a tiny detail about his raging crush on said good friend then it's only because george knows. and because george is a very caring individual, he asks the question alex fears the most: 'is there only one bed?'
usually alex is the one who makes fun of george and his love for dramatics, but he's not doing any better now. alex knows that he's making a big deal out of nothing - it's okay for mates to share one bed when circumstances call for it. and even when they don't - it's also fine. everything is fine, but alex can't convince his stupid heart that everything is strictly platonic so if not to count this fact then he's good. he tells george as much and receives a surpisingly serious: 'alex, just go to another hotel, really. if this is too much for you, please don't- do you want me to check availability of hotels nearby? send me the address.'
it's very sweet. george's care wraps around him like a blanket and alex breathes out, rolling his shoulders to ease the tension. he takes few more deep breaths before replying: 'no, i- it's really nothing and i'm just freaking out for not reason. and it'd look weird if after agreeing i just leave to another hotel. besides, i slept in the same bed with you million times and it should be the same, right?'
'have you ever had a crush the size of great china's wall on me, albono?' george teases. 'anything you want to confess?'
'idiot. i'm fine,' alex repeats, chuckling. 'but thanks for the offer, mate. appreciate it.'
'of course.' george sighs, yawning. it's around two am in england and time difference really sucks because it's only nine pm in thailand but alex is already barely standing upright. 'you'll be fine, mate. maybe you'll even get lucky, who knows?'
alex highly doubts this prospect but doesn't voice it out loud. instead he says his goodbyes and goes back to the reception desk, where logan is signing some papers. alex has to pause because it's really unfair how good logan looks after seven hours flight and alex does not think so of his own bias: every single girl in the lobby agrees with him, eyeing his american friend up like he's some candy. well, alex supposes he is but-
'all done!' logan announces and looks up, sending brilliant smile alex's way. 'i've got the keys, let's go? or you wanna grab something from the bar first?'
'no, fuck, i'm absolutely knackered, let's go.'
it's not a spacious suite. which is not to say that it's bad, but the bed is certainly not a king size one and bathroom doesn't look like it'll fit two grown men brushing their teeth together there. alex hovers unsurely, not feeling very comfortable with taking not his space, but logan washes away his worries with: 'hey, this is your room too, okay? you're not intruding, i promise.'
and it's so earnest and sincere that alex lets himself unpack more confidently, even going as far as be the one to shower first. (which is the choice he made because he wanted to shower first, not because the thought of being in the shower that smells like logan's favorite citrusy shampoo is unbearing for him). he changes into his pj and takes left side of the bed, trying to figure out how both of them can fit here without touching. (and it's not like touching is bad per se, logan is okay with physical contact but touching is bad for alex's heart, which still refuses to see this all as a purely platonic thing).
'we are like two fifty years old men, going to bed at ten pm,' logan says, coming out of the bathroom. his citrusy scent carries on with him, invades the room and alex grips the sheets pathetically in response. god, where is the book on getting over unrequited crush on a friend? that'd be a great night time reading. 'but i think we can use jetlag as an excuse.'
alex tries not to stare. it's not like he's never seen logan's naked upper body but right now he kind of has nowhere to go and his eyes find toned muscles on their own. logan is stupidly fit. he looks like fashion magazine slapped him on the face, like he can do modeling as a solid job. he has shiny smile, sparkling eyes and unfortunately for alex, extremely kind and likable personality. alex thinks he was doomed from the start, to be honest.
'are you a blanket hogger? i think they have another one,' logan muses out loud, drying his hair with a towel in haphazard motions that send water drops flying everywhere. 'air-con on or off?'
'on.' alex replies, twisting uncomfortably and forcing himself to lay still. 'what about you?'
'hm?' logan turns and pauses, staring at alex on the bed. his eyes widen a little and alex is not sure but it looks like he's blushing even in the poor lightning. it takes few awkward seconds for logan to unfreeze and he stumbles away from his suitcase, almost tripping in the process. 'i'm fine! yeah, i'm fine with everything!'
alex blinks. he's not sure whether to comment on logan's high-pitched voice at the end or not; his friend steps closer and his face is as red as a tomato, so alex mercifully decides to say nothing. something twists in his gut, something akin to hope and it's dangerous, he can't afford it; even a silver of hope will make his heart grow bigger and if alex can't fit it in his chest already, what he'll do then?
'i can go,' alex blurts out suddenly. he catches logan's surprised inhale and adds: 'it's really no bother, i can just go to another hotel-'
'you're not comfortable?' logan interrupts, voice small and hesitant. when alex turns to look at him, his whole expression screams of a kicked puppy and that tugs at alex's heartstrings horrifically. 'with me?'
how does alex voice out his feelings? that he is afraid of how too comfortable he is with this whole ordeal? how this feels too domestic, which does unspeakable things to his heart and he's too damn young to have a heartstroke. how can he politely tell logan that he has to protect his heart from breaking and therefore the most logical solution is for him to leave? how can he tell him that when logan looks at him with those big grey-green eyes, clutching at the towel in his hands with the most miserable expression ever? answer is he can't and alex has never been logical when it comes to logan, so what he ends up saying is: 'of course i'm comfortable with you, mate.'
logan breathes out then, tension sips away from his posture and his bright smile is on: 'ah, you're still worried about like intruding and such? i told you to forget it, alex. i'm all good!'
that you are, alex thinks miserably, watching logan practically skip to the other side of the bed. you are very good. and usually it's never silent with logan, they share banter easily, conversations flows naturally but right now alex can't seem to focus on anything because logan apparently sleeps only with boxers on. american dream climbs into the bed with him and it becomes painfully clear how this is not a king size - fuck, not even a queen size - but is just a bit wider version of a simple single bed. alex is pretty sure if he or logan were on a bigger side then it would've been impossible to fit; now they fit just barely, arms and legs touching due to zero space. alex is hyperaware of logan's hairless leg pressing up to his - he has to will himself not to flinch at the contact.
'wanna watch something?' logan asks, evidently being the only normal one out of them two now. 'or you gonna sleep?'
tiredness practically weighs alex down, but logan is next to him, smelling good and looking happy for having alex with him and he clearly has some videos he wants to show, so alex indulges him with a nod. logan perks up at this - puppy, he's like a puppy - and shuffles close, closer, until his head is pillowed comfortably on alex's shoulder and his hair is right up alex's nose. 'so okay, i have few videos i wanted to show you.'
alex's arm is in the way. it's very obvious and yet alex hesitates, unsure if he can do what he desperately wants to - free his arm and wrap it around logan, pull him even closer until their joined body heat won't make him start sweating. it's for comfort, alex repeats like a mantra in his mind, when he moves his arm as casually as possible. logan is all on board with this, he instantly lifts up his head to give alex more room and shimmies closer with a contented sigh like he waited for this and- what alex can do with this information? how can he not read too much into this? logan presses play and giggles at the very start, saying something that alex doesn't catch. alex, in fact, doesn't catch anything what's happening, too focused on logan, who has no idea of turmoil happening in his friend's mind. george always says that alex can get too into his head but he thinks he has valid reasons to, especially now. logan's wet hair, logan's warm body, logan's scent, logan's laugh - he can't be blamed for what he does next, he'll blame it on tiredness and jetlag if anyone asks. alex leans in and places small kiss on logan's wet head as his hand moves from where it was wrapped around logan's shoulder to much, much lower, until it wraps comfortably around logan's middle, fingers touching the hem of his boxers. logan freezes at first - stops midsentence, doesn't move for few seconds. alex holds his breath, wondering if this is it, if he crossed the line; apology is on his lips, when logan suddenly shits and practically melts into him. he starts talking again and does unthinkable - grabs alex's waist and pulls it closer, silently asking alex to wrap his arm around him tighter. this is - crazy. alex can't hear anything apart from loud beating of his heart, he can't fucking breathe, when logan starts playing with his fingers, all while explaining some video to him.
'logan,' he calls out, voice raspy and tense.
'hm?' logan doesn't look up at first but when alex doesn't say anything, he raises his head a little, turning to the side to see alex's face better. 'yes?'
say something. alex just stares for a while. really drinks in logan's handsome features that he learned to love over the time they know each other. stares and stares and maybe he's delirious with want and his desire for it to be real, but he thinks he sees his own feelings reflected back at him in logan's stormy eyes. alex lets go of logan's hand and moves lower in a bold move, squeezing his hip. run away, he thinks, run away or i won't stop. logan, apparently, also has his logical mind turned off when it comes to alex, because he doesn't move. no, what he does is angle his hips just slightly so in an inviting manner and oh. oh.
'logan,' alex whispers and this name sounds like a prayer from his mouth. with other hand he reaches out to take a gentle hold of his chin. 'do not indulge me if that's now what you want.'
logan leans into the touch like a kitten, watching alex with a mix of awe and excitement. he pushes his leg in between, gets even closer to alex and stretches his neck uncomfortably all to grin at him widely: 'why don't you ask me, hm?'
alex swallows. 'that's not a game for me,' he says because he needs to say it, he needs to look out after his own heart.
logan's grin fades, gets replaced with a serious frown. 'i'm not playing.'
and- can alex dream? can he have this? can he be bold and selfish and just take-
'ask me,' logan asks, no, demands. 'because if you ask me then i'll be able to tell everything.'
'what you'd tell?' alex asks, getting lost in his eyes.
logan smiles softly, taking his own hand to gently cup side of alex's face, caressing his cheekbone. 'i'd tell you that i liked you from the second you smiled at me. i'd tell you that being your friend is the biggest honor, but i'd also add that just being your friend would've never been enough. i'd tell how happy you make me, how proud of you i am, how i want you around, always.' logan leans in, brushing their noses together. 'i'd tell how much i want you.'
'how much?' alex speaks into his mouth, not breathing.
'so much, alex,' logan shivers, plastering himself all over thai guy. 'you have no idea.'
alex's hand moves, cupping his neck. 'i think i do, actually.'
the kiss is everything. it's slow and deep, it's exploring each other's mouths with tongues like devouring one another is a good option, it's exhilirating and murderous. alex thinks he won't ever be able to kiss anyone else again. he leans back, pushes their foreheads together and smiles at the way logan's pale hands try to touch him everywhere they can reach. 'i was going crazy,' he whispers, making logan stop. 'with how much i want you. how much i want to be more than friends.'
logan giggles, blushes adorably and hides his face in alex's neck. 'we are idiots. we could've been doing this for- wait, how long have you been pining for me?'
'long enough,' alex mutters, not even correcting the 'pining' thing. it's true, anyways. 'how long you have been pining for me?'
'oh no mister, that's not how it works!' logan laughs and gets on top of him easily. 'you don't get to turn this around!'
alex grabs a hold of his hips and looks at him with a smile. he's not even ashamed of the fact that he basically is pulling out full on heart eyes on logan because logan looks exactly the same way at him and it's - amazing. brilliant. perfect. logan is perfect.
'i did get lucky in the end, huh,' alex mutters to himself, thinking about call with george.
'what?' logan asks, leaning down. he finds alex's lips and yeah, alex can get used to this so, so easily.
'nothing, babe,' he says, smiling at logan's blush at the petname. 'nothing.'
a/n: if you think that this looks unfinished then it's because i can't stop and will get carried away writing it, so i had to pull a stop somewhere. hopefully this was good, let me know! - nini
my other formula 1 works are here
my seventeen works are here
#lolex#sargebon#logan sargeant#alex albon#alex albon/logan sargeant#alex/logan#f1#formula 1#williams f1#williams racing#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#aa23#f1 imagine#i became so sad when i finished this because oh these two are no longer teammates and :(#prayer circle for alex to appear on some indy car race to support logan
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Seeing a lot of upset posts about how the show ended with Boston and feeling like something really went over a few heads. Do I also believe Boston deserved better? Yes. But let's be realistic in the way Jojo and Ninew approached this.
Boston and his promiscuity have been the target of harsh judgements from episode one. And the writers have stated that he has a moral code, it's just very different from others. I was never expecting him to state it outright, that it would just be a thing worth paragraphs of speculative meta, but he does!
Boston stated his definition of boyfriend. If he wants to be exclusive, that's for all the emotional bonding that he desires with someone special, but does not deny him the ability to fulfill his physical desires with whomever he wishes. That's not just polyamory, it's a very specific kind!!! And it's entirely different from the traditional sort of relationship society has accepted. The thing is, he wouldn't have discovered that possibility without knowing Nick.
Boston did genuinely fall for Nick. But how could he have handled that properly when he has no experience being loved and has never learned how to love someone back? Moreover, how could he come to the conclusion that he likes being exclusive in one way but not another without absolutely fumbling the bag with someone who's on a different page? It's not exactly Nick's fault that he prefers physical affection to be exclusive as well, that's just how he is. There couldn't have been any discussion about this, it was a discovery in the making.
The truth is Boston would still have a hard time finding happiness in Thailand due to the political climate, especially with his father being a politician. He's gay and that alone makes achieving his dreams more difficult, but being as promiscuous as he is means even a majority of the queer community will shut him out. He's better off moving to the states where at least he has rights and better acceptance for who he is. And that's what happened.
Because having a sexual or romantic appetite outside of monogamy is still looked down on. I still see it in the BL fandom. I see it just in general. 3 Will Be Free is so often cited as a must-watch, but how many people stick to their comfort branded pairings?* How many people have made or heard jokes about the "Seattle polycule"? How many romantic aces and allosexual aros get othered and excluded and judged for their identity?
Jojo said there was no intended message, but that doesn't mean there isn't one to be found. Boston's arc is a prime example of how slutty queers get treated even by their own peers, even by people who care about them most. It's a cry from the cold and lonely dark that if we think these people deserve better, we need to change existing paradigms and find how we can give them that!
Nick wasn't prepared to do that because he is still hurting, and that's also okay. Not everyone has to change themselves to make the puzzle pieces fit. Boston and Nick's story centers around that so much. Nick being jealous and trying to copy Top, Boston trying to be what he thinks a boyfriend is - they only hurt each other because the parts that don't fit are digging in.
I hope we get a second season, but if not friends, remember Boston. He represents such a particular demographic that gets hated on and ignored constantly, and they deserve a chance. They're not easy, but that doesn't mean they're not worth it. Remember Nick too. We all have a Nick in some manner - someone that made us want to try, but no matter how much we cared for each other it just wasn't going to work. Family, friends, partners, whoever.
Instead of being outraged with the show, be outraged with society. Do something about it. Be kinder. Community is important, now more than ever. I cannot possibly overstate how much we need community, especially among minorities.
*this isn't meant to be judgmental toward fans who prefer branded pairings or aren't interested in that particular show. I know watching anything requires time and energy and scratching a certain itch at the right moment. It is, however, a concern that so many fans complained about numerous aspects of OF to the point where the creators went to the effort of explaining themselves on a weekly basis and editing certain parts to avoid backlash. I mentioned 3 Will Be Free because it's another example of Jojo's work. Many BL fans have heard of it, but only a small portion seem to have watched, and that can be an indicator of certain biases. This is not to imply anyone who hasn't seen it has said biases and is only intended to encourage reflection if needed.
#boston only friends#nick only friends#bostonnick#boston x nick#only friends the series#only friends#ofts#jojo tichakorn#neo trai#mark pakin#neomark
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I just came across this interview Käärijä gave for an Estonian magazine before the Tallinn gig and thought I'd share it with y'all! He talks about saving money to buy a house, why he quit drinking etc. Also, there are some new interesting things he said about Tommy 👀
Since the article is behind a paywall (and in Estonian) I've put a rough, heavily Google-assisted translation under the cut 👇
There are a few minutes left until the concert. How do you feel?
I feel great, but I'm a little tired because I didn't sleep well.
Did you have a party yesterday?
No party, I'm focused on the European tour. Yesterday was a live in Sweden, from there I flew to Finland at five o'clock in the morning and from there to here. But I'm one hundred percent ready for a show. It doesn't matter how tired I am, I give my best on stage.
You recently released the single 'It's Crazy, It's Party' with Tommy Cash. When Tommy met the members of the band Little Big, they drank a lot of vodka. What did you and Tommy drink?
Haha, I haven't had a drink with Tommy yet.
Not even a Pina Colada?
No. Maybe someday Tommy and I will have a drink, although I don't think he drinks much. And you know, I don't drink anymore either. I stopped drinking a month ago. I need to keep my energy up. When you give as many concerts as I do now, you have to take care of yourself. Drinking and performing hand in hand is extremely difficult both physically and mentally, not to mention how bad it affects the vocal cords. I had the biggest hangover of my life this summer, which put the brakes on my drinking. I went to a music festival with a friend where we drank too much. The next day I had to perform at the same festival. The hangover was so bad that I really didn't know how to get myself on stage with the terrible feeling and the summer heat. But I pulled myself together and did the show. This experience is also one of the reasons why I don't drink anymore.
What kind of person is Tommy?
He is a visionary and very witty - a lot of fun with him. And of course he's cute. I think we have something in common, like we both have our own style. Tommy surprises with crazy outfits: extraordinary hairstyles, extravagant clothing, which are complemented by boleros. In short, insane costumes.
After Eurovision, you started a real concert rally - you gave 51 concerts in the summer alone. Do you want to become a millionaire?
Of course I do! One day I will definitely be a millionaire. I don't keep track of how much money I have in the bank and how much I'm short of six figures. But yes, I'm trying to collect a million euros.
Will the goal be met this year?
No, not yet. It will still take a few years. I've had an insane amount of performances after Eurovision, because I was like a kid in a candy store who wants everything at once, but by now I've drawn the line because I can't perform everywhere. I also set myself a price tag, below which I will not allow myself to go anywhere. If you do 300 shows a year, you're screwed.
What do you spend your money on?
I don't just spend it on pretty things. I have a definite goal in mind - I want to buy a house in Finland. Maybe in the future also real estate in Thailand, we'll see. I don't need a Rolex or any luxury, I don't care about that.
What has been the most difficult thing for you since Eurovision?
Everyone in Finland now knows who I am. It's hard and tiring because I no longer have my own private space at all. I can't just go to the store, to a concert, or to a hockey game, people will immediately come up to me and start taking pictures. I hate when they don't politely ask for permission to do this, but immediately start clicking.
What has been the best?
It's great to see people hear 'Cha Cha Cha' and be happy. Or when they hear the name Käärijä and their face breaks into laughter - it's a powerful feeling. And of course to see how happy my family is about this achievement. And me too!
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