#and he's almost definitely retiring entirely from politics after this

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Biden seems to be going a bit wild and breaking out of the typical Dem respectability mold, which would make me happy if it had happened before his buckling to the general party's refusal to shake anything up completely fucked us 🙃

Like even if all he had done was refuse to give in to the pressure to drop out of the election mid-race it could've given Dems an actual fighting chance. It sucks a lot that he's only growing a spine when his career isn't going to be at risk, especially when other Dems continue to be spineless cowards who are happily handing the reigns over to a fascist with no fuss.

[phoenixkaptain]

I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.

I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.

Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.

Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn’t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.

Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.

I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?

Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.

Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.

Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.

Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.

If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—

There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!

Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.

[shewasverynice]

Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS

Rating: Explicit 

Major Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Non-Consensual Drug Use

Additional Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Use

Categories: F/M, Multi 

Relationships: Takami Keigo | Hawks/Original Female Character(s), Original Character/Other(s) 

Major Characters: Original Characters, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Hero Public Safety Commission, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead

. . . . . ╰──╮꒰ Halcyon - Part 1 ꒱ ╭──╯ . . . . .

By the following week, Hawks had seamlessly settled into his new home at Nest. His fellow heroes had graciously given him the grandeur of the expansive suite nestled on the uppermost level. This apartment, meticulously crafted by the hero who had initially envisioned the building, boasted an open layout. From the moment one stepped foot inside, it was evident that every inch of this resplendent space had been thoughtfully curated for someone with wings. The entire residence comprised a single, sprawling chamber, with the exception of the bathroom, which was discreetly tucked away to ensure utmost privacy. Ascending to the lofted bedroom, one was greeted by a view that overlooked the entirety of the apartment below. The ceiling, adorned entirely with windows, had a mesmerizing vista of the sky above.

The shower was the biggest surprise though, and he couldn't deny that he was definitely going to be spoiled by it. A large enough space for him to stretch his wings and with shower heads from three different angles? Hell, he felt like he'd died and gone to heaven. He silently apologized to any entity that had heard him complain about it being a bird themed agency. Obviously fate knew better than he did.

Hawks spread his crimson wings out wide with his hands on his hips, scanning the space once again. He had acquired a few basic pieces of furniture for the living room, sufficient for hosting guests if he wanted to, along with a spacious bed where he could fully relax. Apart from that, the place remained quite bare, at least for the time being.

A gentle tap echoed through the door, and Hummingbird gracefully entered the room. Iroha Ukai, as he'd learned was her civilian name, appeared as rigid and uneasy as ever. Her vibrant emerald wings shimmered as she hovered towards him, extending a fabric tote bag.

"Here, I brought a few towels and linens from home." She said, "Enough to get you set up for now."

"Thank you, Ukai-san." Hawks said with a polite bow as he took the bag, "That's very kind of you."

It was surprising how tiny she appeared, especially when she wasn't wearing her hero outfit. She couldn't have been more than four feet tall, and her physique resembled that of a grade schooler. But despite her size, she made it clear that she was almost forty and despised being treated like a child. Hawks had already learned by watching Heron and Kiwi that one mistake could be taken as a huge insult to the small woman. Luckily his training had prepped him for all situations in dealing with people.

"If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask." She said, glancing around the apartment, "It's nice to see this place in use again. Kingfisher always had us up here when nights were calm."

Kingfisher. Hawks had heard that name a lot lately. Kingfisher was the elder hero who had retired from his position not long after the Halcyon group had arrived in town. He wasn't high on the top of the hero ranking charts, but he was decently popular. Flashy too, bright blue wings and a flowing orange tail.

Hummingbird sighed, a thoughtful smile on her face before she took on her usual stern expression once again. "Anyway, I'll be downstairs." She said, then promptly left.

"Thank you again!" He called after her, before looking down into the bag. 

He now had four towels that were a good size, along with some wash cloths. He also had a nice table cloth, even though he didn't have a table yet. And of course, he had some kitchen towels for cleaning up. As he thought about all of this, a small smile appeared on his face. Hummingbird reminded him a little bit of Madame President - they both seemed cold and serious on the outside, but deep down, they both had their own unique way of showing that they cared.

Following that, Kiwi charged into the room. "Hawks!" She cried happily, "You got your couch delivered!" 

Hawks grinned, watching Kiwi's little brown wings flutter on her back excitedly. She tossed herself onto the couch, landing with a big satisfied sigh. Behind her, Heron quietly followed.

"Damn, don't break his new couch already." He grunted, then gently nudged Hawks' shoulder, "We came to bring you this." He slung the backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it to show him some old but still decent pans and a coffee press, "It's not much but it should make things better."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." Hawks said, "Ukai-san just gave me some towels too so I guess this is my housewarming, yeah?"

"Close enough." Ava laughed, "We can do something more fun another day when shit isn't so busy."

"Yeah, what exactly is going on?" Hawks asked, looking between Kiwi and Heron, "Owl is out doing some kind of training or...?"

"He's training with some interns from UA." Heron said, walking to the kitchen and unloading the pans, "Dad's the most senior hero here so it's his job to watch over them. I told him we were too busy to have interns but he didn't want to make us look bad."

"I mean, we made ourselves look worse though, yeah?" Kiwi shrugged, "We're just letting Halcyon beat us to all the shit going on lately."

Hawks out his hand to his chin, "They're so fast." He said aloud remembering that he'd asked Chickadee the same question, "Are all their members as fast as Tiger?"

"No," Kiwi sat up, looking over the back of the couch at him, "Dragon is pretty quick but Phoenix and Turtle aren't any faster than me."

"Honestly I think Phoenix is slow for a bird, but she doesn't really seem to fight much." Heron said, placing the kettle on the stovetop.

A more detailed answer was helpful at least, even though it wasn't much more information than Chickadee had given him. Heron and Kiwi definitely would have experienced more with Halcyon, so Hawks figured he might as well ask them while he had a chance.

"Do you know how they're getting to the scenes first?" He asked, setting the bag of towels down beside the couch before he sat down in the armchair beside it. "I'm assuming they must have a pretty serious network around town if they can be there even before a crime is reported to us."

"Well," Kiwi said, propping her arms up onto the backrest, "I've heard they work with the bums. Like, they pay them off for tips on any kind of crime around town."

"Ohhh!" Hawks pointed at her, "That would definitely do it. The homeless population would be keen to help for cash. That's smart."

Heron sighed, his wings adjusting on his back as he scowled, "I just can't believe they'd help with that robbery last week. Like, what the hell are they doing?"

"I still think it was just Tiger doin' his own thing." Kiwi said, looking over her shoulder at Heron, "That guy is the most nuts out of all of them. I'm sure he was gonna get a cut of the money."

Hawks' brows knit together, his fingers stroking his stubble. The whole situation was bugging him, but he didn't have enough information yet to understand what exactly was happening. Tipping his head back, he looked up at the sky through the ceiling. 

"I think I have an idea." Hawks said, a smile creeping onto his face.

"What do you mean?" Kiwi asked, reaching over to roll one of Heron's long feathers between her fingers, "Like, you're gonna try to beat them to the punch instead?"

"Exactly." Hawks nodded, "But that's only step one." 

Heron raised brow, then looked at Kiwi. She grinned at Hawks, then said, "Well! Sounds like you've got something cooking up then!"

"I do." Hawks nodded, "And if it works out, we should be able to figure out exactly how widespread Halcyon can reach."

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Hawks hovered above the city three days later, mentally mapping out his course. In order to figure out exactly how far Halcyon could reach, he'd been carefully tracking where the crimes were reported and then solved. This should have been enough to figure out some kind of range of influence.

However, there were two issues immediately. The first being that Kiwi had been corrected in her assumption that the homeless population was involved. However Hawks had discovered it was far more than just them alone. Lots of civilians seemed to have a way to contact Halcyon, and sometimes extremely quickly. 

The second issue, and the more frustrating of the two, was that Hawks learned that sometimes the civilians themselves were solving their own problems and crediting their win to Halcyon. With this realization Hawks knew that previous reports could potentially be false. It was quickly becoming obvious that a portion of the civilians seemed to both protect and also assist in whatever Halcyon was involved in.

It was taking all of his crime scene training, but he was quickly figuring out the signs of Halcyon's true involvement. At first it seemed obvious, each member left drastic signs like lighting burns or scorch marks or even claw marks, but he'd caught civilians faking those as well. With his keen observations, he'd learned to spot the differences and learned what the real signs were over time.

In the end unfortunately, this still made a large unexplainable range. For only four people they were able to get to places far faster than their Network should have been able to reach. Hawks had realized that it wasn't just taking one phone call either, it was multiple calls. After intercepting a civilian call, he traced it to just another civilian. This was far more complicated than he anticipated.

Hawks' wings flapped slowly, keeping him aloft as his golden eyes gazed at the crowd below. There had to be a connection in who it was that was reporting the crimes to Halcyon. That was the only lead he had to chase immediately. Halcyon themselves were too quick to escape, and the civilians actively helped them in evading the pro heroes. Focusing on finding the connection seemed like the most viable solution.

Chickadee had been quick to get him linked into the database back at Nest, and she'd been assisting him in sorting the suspects by their similarities. Still, even after three days there didn't seem to be enough matching evidence. Everything seemed so random, almost too random. Either the civilians were actively working this hard to make it impossible, or there was something else going on here. 

Spotting one of the civilians he recognized, he flew down and approached the man. Walking right up, Hawks held out his hand in greeting with a wide unassuming smile.

"Hey there, the name's Hawks." He said, "I got some questions for ya about Halcyon."

At first the man's expression flashed with worry, but Hawks' had been trained for situations like this.

"I'm new in town, new hero, and I was just trying to get a read on the public's opinion on these vigilantes." Hawks said casually, "Do you have some time to share your thoughts?"

Visibly relaxing, the man smiled before he said, "I think Halcyon is great! Sometimes you pros just don't make it in time because you're too busy doing "interviews" or something silly on TV. A lot of calls go unanswered by the pros."

"Really?" Hawks' eyes narrowed, "Is that what you think?"

The man shrugged, "Let's be honest, it's pretty common for Heros to be more of a celebrity than actual rescue oriented anyway."

Hawks nodded, "Interesting. What makes you say that? I think there are plenty of heroes that focus more on the Heroic side of things, like Endeavor for--"

"It doesn't matter." The man waved his hand, "Times are changing and we need more heroes like Halcyon who don't follow all these ridiculous fads."

"Well how can you be sure all heroes are that way?" Hawks asked, tilting his head to his shoulder, "Seems like that's assuming a lot."

The man scoffed, "I think you just have too much faith." 

"Well, maybe so." Hawks shrugged, before a smile eased onto his lips, "Thanks for your input." 

Hawks spread his wings and soared towards a nearby rooftop. With it perched delicately on a handful of his feathers, he effortlessly picked up the man's phone and started browsing through the contacts. It was surprisingly simple to swipe things like that. Honestly, he could have easily embraced his inner villain if he ever felt like going rogue. No one ever expected a couple of feathers falling from his wings would be capable of such a task.

He hummed as he flipped it over to most recent contacts, finding exactly what he was looking for. 

"Just gonna call it Halcyon too?" He chuckled, "Too easy."

Clearing his throat, he tapped the contact and waited until someone picked up. As soon as it connected, he stayed silent hoping they'd speak first. But they apparently had the same idea. After a pause, Hawks took the initiative.

"Robbery." He whispered, keeping his voice as low and unrecognizable as possible, "Bank. On 5th."

The other voice said nothing at first before they said, "Alright. Hang tight."

Hawks looked at the phone, his eyebrow raised. That seemed almost too easy. No password? No secret code? Copying the number into his own phone, he placed the man's phone back onto his feathers and sent them off to slide it back into his pocket.

As he timed how long it would take, he squatted down on the edge of the rooftop. It wasn't an odd opinion that Heroes should take things more seriously, but to Hawks that seemed a bit silly. There were so many heroes these days, and even more up and coming that it was inevitable that heroes would have more time to do other things, right? That was his dream after all, a world where heroes could take it easy?

Hawks' thoughts were interrupted by the crack of thunder as Tiger appeared and left smoking black tracks on the ground. He watched the large man gazing around, his dark eyes narrowed as he tried to understand the situation. Stifling a laugh, Hawks stood up and whistled loudly.

With a wave, he shouted, "What's up, big cat?"

Tiger raised his eyebrow, putting a hand on his hip, "Ah, so you lured me out here?" He shouted up, ignoring the crowd as they gasped and backed away.

"You got here pretty fast." Hawks said, "You must take the civilian calls pretty seriously."

"Someone should." Tiger growled, "You heroes won't respond unless the police call it in."

Hawks narrowed his eyes, "And?"

"Too slow." Tiger huffed, turning to leave.

"Bet I could do it better than you." Hawks called, a smirk pulling at his lips.

Tiger halted, then looked over his shoulder. "Is that so?"

Hawks slid his hands into his pockets, taking a step off the edge of the building and catching himself just in time with a heavy flap of his wings. Striding over to Tiger he looked up, the man was at least two feet taller than Hawks himself. Still, Hawks kept that defiant smile on.

"Let's race." Hawks suggested, "Best of five. You call where and we'll see who gets there first."

Tiger shook his head, "So you think I'm a fool? You're up to something, right?"

"Why would you say that?" Hawks said, his smile not faltering until he felt the grip of Tiger's hands on his feathers.

Holding up two loose feathers, Tiger looked over his shoulder at a few more that were floating near his pockets. Hawks pulled them back quickly, but Tiger still managed to catch another. 

Hawk winced as Tiger's sharp claws sank into the fluffy red feathers. Despite his extensive training, even the slightest touch on his plumage was difficult to overlook. It was as if someone was forcefully digging their nails into his back, sending an unpleasant tingling sensation down his spine. The sensation was so intense that he could almost feel it in his teeth, causing an unpleasant jolt.

"Sensitive feathers, huh?" Tiger said with a dark chuckle, "That sucks." 

Hawks watched as Tiger wrapped his fist around the feathers and crushed them. Holding back, Hawks managed not to make a sound despite the pain that shot through his body. The feathers shared their own senses with his body and the pain felt like having your fingers stepped on. As soon as Tiger let them fall to the ground he called them back and tucked them away into his wings.

"Nice try." Tiger grinned, "But I'm not gonna fall for that so easily."

But the moment Tiger dashed away, Hawks grinned. While Tiger was busy taunting him, a feather sneaked into the man's snowy hair, and all Hawks had to do was trail behind. Soaring through the air, he maintained a safe distance to avoid getting caught by mistake. As suspected, Tiger was heading right to the center of town, an excellent spot to react quickly from. That made sense. 

"Hawks!" Chickadee called over the comms, "We need assistance over on the east side. It's an emergency, over!"

Hawks hesitated. This was the best time, this was perfect. He was right there. He just needed to follow Tiger a little longer. 

"Hawks? You there, over?"

He gritted his teeth, "Is there anyone else on that side, over?"

"You're the closest." She answered, "I'm sorry, is this a bad time, over?"

"No it's--" he grumbled then shook his head, "No it's fine. What's the location, over?"

Arriving at the location however, Hawks swore loudly. It was a fake call. He knew it immediately, the citizens there were at least three he recognized as some of Halcyon's supporters and likely more. They snickered at him while trying to act nonchalant, but it was clear what had happened here.

"Damn." He gritted, then hit the comms, "Chickadee where did you get this call?"

"Uh, I'm sorry? Someone called it in to the hotline, over?" She replied, sounding out of breath.

He sighed. She was probably sprinting around the office again. It was far too much for on woman to take calls from both the police and civilians. Hummingbird helped where she could, but she also had to step in versus villains and criminals so it's not like she had much time to spare either. 

"Nevermind, over." He grunted, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

He wasn't foolish enough to think that that would be the end of it either, he wasn't naive. By the following week's end, every Nest member was feeling frustrated, as the false calls blended in with the genuine ones, resulting in the most humiliating situations. They were practically a joke, even though nobody dared to say it directly to their faces.

"This sucks ass." Heron grunted, slamming down his coffee cup, "It only got worse because you fucked with them!"

"Excuse me?" Hawks raised his brows, "Are you serious right now? I'm working on getting rid of them for you."

"At least before we could still work! This shit is so embarrassing!" Heron shouted, "We can't go anywhere without looking like idiots!"

"You already looked like idiots!" Hawks shouted back, "You're just letting four criminals have free reign of your fuckin' city!"

"It's not that easy!" Heron stood up, only for Kiwi to step in between the two men.

"Alright, cool it!" She snapped, "Both of you. Out. If you're just gonna fight, don't do it here."

Heron stormed out of the room, pushing his chair back and causing his wings to flutter with agitation. Meanwhile, Hawks remained seated, pushing his chair back slightly and casually crossing his feet on the table. Lost in thought, he folded his arms across his chest. Eventually, he glanced up at Owl, who sat quietly across from him.

Owl also had his arms folded, a frown etched on his face. He had a pile of the daytime reports in front of him, and it was clear that he had no interest in going through them. Taking off his sunglasses, he rubbed his temples briefly before glancing up at Hawks.

His piercing yellow eyes stared at Hawks before he sighed, "I agree with you, in this case. I just wish it wasn't going to make us look foolish to be rid of them."

"Sorry." Hawks mumbled, "I didn't think they'd hit back this hard."

Owl shook his head, "No, don't apologize. This was inevitable." He smiled gently at Hawks, "I knew it would be this way. I suppose it was just me being selfish and not initiating what needed to be done. I was afraid of the consequences, but it wouldn't have gotten this bad if I'd had us act sooner."

"It's honestly surprising to me how protective the civvies are of Halcyon." Hawks said, rubbing his fingers through his facial hair, "What's up with that?"

"It's complicated." Owl said, leaning back with his fingers linking together on his chest, "When Kingfisher was still here we sort of had a working relationship with them but once he retired it all went to hell."

"He must have made a deal or something." Hawks said, "Right?"

"I would assume so." Owl nodded then looked down at his hands, "I unfortunately wasn't lucky enough to get in good graces with any of them. I've tried in the past, but it's unfortunately not been in the cards."

Owl chuckled a little then continued, "Kingfisher had insisted that we try to get them to go pro and join us, but many of the heroes here at the time disagreed with that sentiment. Partially because only one of them was a bird and partially because Halcyon has been known to be quite heavy handed."

"Do you think it's worth a try? At least until we can figure out a more permanent solution?" Hawks asked. 

Owl shrugged, "Well, I suppose if anyone can do it, it'd probably have to be you."

"Yeah?" Hawks tilted his head, "Why do you say that?"

Owl chuckled, "I can already tell you're the kinda guy who won't give up on something no matter what."

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Luckily, fate smiled upon Hawks and he finally had the opportunity to have a conversation with a Halcyon member a few days later. Regrettably, the circumstances couldn't have been worse for him. Despite his previous bravery in the face of danger, this particular situation rattled him to the very depths of his being.

Hawks noticed the smoke way before the authorities even reported it to Nest. It was a bit strange, but he didn't have the luxury to dwell on it right away. His main priority was to reach the location as fast as he could, so he swiftly called for backup from his fellow heroes while soaring through the sky.

As he landed in front of the raging inferno, he noticed a police officer who seemed strangely composed. Despite the chaotic scene and the crowd's frantic shouts, the officer remained motionless, merely observing the three-story office building engulfed in flames. The building didn't seem to be occupied, the usual slum dwellings usually had more signs of life, but the officer's lack of action raised concerns in Hawks' mind.

"Sir?" Hawks said, "What's going on here?"

"Mm?" The officer turned to Hawks and shrugged, "Just another drug den. Probably some junkie passed out with a cigarette or pipe or something and the place lit up."

Hawks brows furrowed, "What if there are people inside?!" He asked, trying to keep calm.

The officer raised an eyebrow, "Don't you think that would be doing us both a favor?"

And then he saw her, but only for the briefest of moments. Huge flaming wings and large taloned feet, Phoenix crashed through the door and charged into the fire. The surprise was enough to shake Hawks from his stunned questioning and he darted in after her.

Keeping his wings tucked in close, Hawks whistled to catch her attention. "Going upstairs!" He shouted over the roar, pointing up as soon as she looked at him.

"'Kay!" She said with a bright cheerful smile, using her powerful legs to kick a door open, "Anyone insiiii~de? ⁠♪⁠♪"

Hawks charged up the stairs, each step a desperate lunge against the billowing smoke and searing heat. Flames licked the walls and ceiling, turning the narrow stairway into a gauntlet of fire. His eyes, stinging from the acrid smoke, scanned each door he passed, searching for signs of life. The roar of the inferno drowned out all other sounds, a deafening reminder of the urgency. 

He kicked open door after door, shouting through the choking haze, hoping to find someone, anyone, needing rescue. His breath came in ragged gasps, the air thick and blistering, but he pressed on, driven by the possibility of saving a life amidst the chaos.

The man burst into a room, eyes wide and searching through the thick, black smoke. There, huddled in a corner, he spotted an older looking woman. Without hesitation, he rushed to her, scooping her up in one arm. He moved quickly, navigating through the blazing corridor, the fire's heat scorching his skin and feathers. He jumped down the stairs, out of the burning building, and into the relative safety of the night air.

Barely pausing to catch his breath, he dashed back inside. Flames were now consuming the structure with ferocious intensity. In another room, he found an elderly man, disoriented and coughing violently. He hoisted the man over his shoulder, the weight pressing down on him, but he didn't falter. With determined steps, he made his way back through the inferno, emerging once more into the cool, smoke-free night.

As he turned to re-enter the building, he saw her again: Phoenix, her lithe figure moving with surprising agility through the blaze. She was guiding two frail looking men, her movements fluid and confident despite the chaos around her. He watched as she navigated the burning debris, her voice calm and reassuring. Phoenix led the men to safety, a brief nod of acknowledgment passing between her and Hawks before they both plunged back into the building.

In another room, he discovered a young woman unconscious on the floor. He crouched, scooping her up with a grunt, and staggered to his feet. The fire crackled ominously around him as he made his way back through the labyrinth of flames. Just as he stumbled out into the open air, he saw Phoenix again, this time helping a woman down the last few steps.

Hawks gapsed for breath, his lungs burning as he laid the woman with the other survivors. Looking around, he coughed as he shouted out, "Where the hell is the fire department?!"

Phoenix chuckled, a musical and light sound, "They won't come until the building is almost out silly Birdy!" She grinned, taking off for the top floor and smashing her way in through a window.

Hawks removed his flight jacket, using it to wipe the sweat off his forehead. What in the world did she mean by saying they wouldn't be coming? He glanced back at the officer, who was now talking to another man. They seemed so relaxed, as if they were just hanging out. It was like they were having a leisurely time, not caring about the situation at all. It was infuriating to think that they had no plans to help the civilians trapped inside, and even worse, they seemed to have purposely abandoned them to their fate. 

Phoenix landed again, dropping off one last person. She twittered happily then asked one of the more conscious survivors, "All done? Is that all? ⁠♪⁠♪" 

"Yeah," the man panted, "Yeah, we're good Phoenix. Thanks, girlie."

Kicking her feet a little she smiled at Hawks, "Thank you for the helpies, pretty bird! ⁠♪⁠♪"

Hawks blinked still trying to catch his breath, "Uh, yeah sure. Of course."

She grinned again, her eyes doing that bird thing where their pupils dilate at something they're interested in. Hawks stared at her, "Uhhh... Well I don't think we've met personally yet."

"Nope! Heard about you from Tiggy!" She laughed, "You seem nice. Thank youuu~! ⁠♪⁠♪"

"Sure. Yeah." He huffed, then felt his eyes growing heavy. 

"Oopsie! ⁠♪⁠♪"

The next time he was aware, he had been moved back to sit against the wall. Phoenix was carefully preening his burned feathers, plucking them out gently. He had a cold washcloth on his forehead and a kindly looking elderly woman was gently cleaning the ash off of his face. 

"Birdy!" Phoenix said, "You're awake! Welcome back!"

Hawks cleared his throat, taking a water bottle offered by the old woman. As he took a sip, he took in the sights once again. The building was almost nothing but foundation, the fire department barely in any rush to finish putting it out. There wasn't even a sign of any kind of ambulance for the survivors. The other people in the neighborhood seemed to have stepped in, taking care of their own.

"Why?" Hawks rasped, "What the hell is going on?"

"This is just how it is here, dear." The old woman sighed, "Down this side of town we're ain't really considered high priority, if ya understand my meanin'."

Phoenix nodded, "Mmhmm!" She plucked another of his dead feathers, "The city's run off! The leftovers!"

Hawks coughed again, the smoke burning in his lungs,  "That's... That's horrible!"

The old woman nodded solemnly, "Yeah, but it's the unfortunate reality for us." She gently wiped at his forehead again, "Now, you should git to a hospital. Yor lungs'll need a lookin' at."

Phoenix grinned, "Can fly, Birdy? I can help!"

Before Hawks could even answer, her talons were wrapped around his shoulders and her wings beating as she lifted him up. He coughed, his wings attempting to flap before she huffed at him.

"No no!" She chided, "Sit still Birdy!"

Resigning himself to his fate, he let his arms droop down as she carried him off towards the hospital. Nothing had felt this humiliating in years, honestly. The only thing that could make it worse was if...

"Aww, well isn't that sweet." Kiwi said with a laugh, snapping multiple pictures as Phoenix landed with Hawks in front of the hospital.

⤶ Prev Main Next ↪

[pctaldrunk]

YAO HAIYIN , tw dysfunctional families, murder, etc. etc.

His mother was the leader of a decently sized, newly created sect, until she married his father. He was too young to know the details, and the elders, siding with his father, rarely talked about it - but his father took the sect over by force - using his safety as leverage to keep his mother in check. He did not understand, obviously, when he was younger. Mostly, he was just sad that he didn't get to see his mother very often and was always kept away from "home" for one reason or another.

As a young person, he seems unassuming, perhaps too soft. Not particularly soft-spoken, but generally pleasant and easy to talk to. Musically and artistically inclined, avid reader, eager student, lover of beautiful people and things. Always seems to say and do what's needed and wanted of him no matter which person he is facing - a skill, almost, to morph into the way and say with the voice of only what the other person wants to see and hear, no matter his true feelings. A survival mechanism, perhaps, living under his father's rule..

He got to see his mother only very rarely, a few times a year at most. Even so, he loved her, and was very sad when she was sad, and despite putting on a brave face for their meetings, she was sad all the time. As he grew older and older, he saw and heard things that allowed him to understand the situation and piece everything together. He promised his mother and himself that he would help her escape. However, his mother eventually wasted away in captivity before that could happen, leaving his father entirely in charge. Angry and grieving, he spends years pulling together plans to overthrow his father.

He succeeds. He overthrows his father and the sect's elders that stood with him. They're not all dead, in the aftermath, of course - but the ones that are alive probably wish they were dead. Haiyin succeeds his mother (he has wiped his father from the sect's inner documentations), at an incredibly young age. In the years following his succession, he closes the doors of the sect to the outside world entirely and spends his time clearing out any of his father's remaining forces. He rules with a just but iron hand - the paranoia of what happened during his childhood bleeding into his reasoning and the way he runs things.

Years later, he has relaxed. Once again he begins engaging with others in the cultivation community. In the face of his pleasantness and his unique ability to cater to other people's expectations of a friend-shaped being - most people have forgotten his bloody origins. They have forgotten that though it was in the name of revenge for his mother, he has done terrible things. Despite his jovial and friendly outward presentation - his life seems fairly empty and he is tired after taking over the burden of revenge and a sect so young. Now he roams around in disguise, and seeks an heir so that he might retire early from his position.

He is definitely A Gender (tm), but...he plays fast and loose with how he feels and pronouns. For example, he just let me write a whole bio using he/him. There are times when Haiyin specifically prefers she/her (Haiyin makes it pretty obvious when Haiyin is there) and a few times Haiyin will go for they/them. In general, pronouns don't matter to him too much. He will take any and all of them.

JIN SI (Jin Miaoshu), TW alcohol, dysfunctional family, sexism, etc. etc.

If Jin Z.ixun is the unpleasant (tm) cousin, Jin Si...is the one that gives you 99 headaches. Raised like a little princess - it wasn't too long before she figured out that she was being raised like a lamb for slaughter, too. Her father was not a particularly good man, and as the eldest and legitimate daughter of an inner family member in a family that - likely has some flawed teaching and opinions about the value of daughters, her destiny was mapped out early - sold to the highest bidder in a political marriage.

Horribly rebellious since the realization that the life she is living isn't...entirely right. Maybe it's attention seeking, maybe she's just tired - as soon as she's old enough / can manage it she hops on a sword straight for the nearby (and then slowly, further away) towns around L.anling. There, she lives - well, a party life. Drinking, brawling, gambling on occasion, learning dances from top performers at the local entertainment district - everything a "polite young lady of sophisticated and elegant disposition" ought not do. Accidentally or maybe a little bit on purpose, she aims to push her limits and her parents' limits every time. People don't usually question her - she's pretty, looks obviously like she has a ridiculous amount of money to spend, and is very generous (read: careless) a customer. If she ends up damaging the property, it'll be covered in full and twice over before she leaves. She really is the “black sheep” of the family.

Her parents somehow seem to think giving her more pocket money is going to make her make less trouble - it just gives her more funds for the trouble. She’s constantly about to kill jet father with an aneurysm and she’s a little bit proud of that.

Very...bratty, in her own element. Aware of her privilege and entirely going to use it / play it up. Uncooperative, lazy, picky, frivolous, short temper to boot - enjoys rolling her eyes and misusing her face, especially around her relatives and other cultivation world big shots. And any problem that can be solved with money is no problem. Doesn’t go out of her way to be unkind though. Snappy and sometimes sharp, escalates when the other person escalates - but quick to panic and backpedal when it becomes evident feelings have really been hurt.

Almost "more trouble than she's worth" in the words of her father - except after every night of all night drinking, brawls, and god knows what else she gets up to, she drags herself back in time the next morning to sit for whatever lesson, gathering, or formal affair she needs to sit in on.

(It's the futility of it all. The idea that her life will amount to nothing other than her fate and that her parents see her as little more than an item of value to trade. She says, perhaps a little wickedly - to let it rot. As long as she's "perfect" for the camera, so to speak - who cares what she does in her off time?)

Her cultivation is decent, though. Probably because she first needed it to sneak out of the wards they started placing around her rooms when they figurd out she was sneaking out at night, and then because she got into - way too many fights. She's by no means brilliant but she can carry a fight on her own. If she put her mind to it she might be brilliant - but she says "what's the point" anyway. Sleeps through most of her classes. Reads only what she wants to read and studies only what she wants to study.

[lordprophet]

Go Away Demagogue-Rabble Rouser

Demagogue-Rabble Rouser

Go Away Mischief-Maker Demagogue-Rabble Rouser:

Unite and fight the demagoguers. Don’t let them divide and conquer. Don’t let them sow strife and rancor. They are rift and phobia mongers. They are questors without honor, loyal to only themselves and power.

Copyright C/O alias CyberTiger (CyberToothedTiger) on Tribel and Substack

(The aforementioned is in regard to dishonest, mendacious, demagogic doofus Donald Trump and character-flipped J.D. Vance and their insurrectionist, anti-US Constitution, anti-democracy, neo-Confederacy, neo-Nazi, heretical-oxymoronic-Christian-nationalism MAGA-mob cult.

A demagogue is a person, or plural of such, who uses inflammatory language and actions to socially demonize, and stoke fear, phobia, hysteria and animosity toward and against, different or outsider others as well as to scapegoat another or others -- in effect, undertaking or campaigning to poison minds collectively against them and socially and politically enemyize, disfavor and marginalize them -- so as thereby to exercise and gain or secure mass, or populist, chauvinist influence and power. Ultimately, power is control, which when possessed by a demagogue is disposed to become abused and unaccountable control.

Click on the following hyperlink to read a relevant but short news article applicable to the above-given definition and description, https://www.newser.com/story/358263/report-trump-called-slain-us-soldier-a-f-ing-mexican.html?utm_source=referral&utm_medium=uol&utm_campaign=rss_top . This article also reveals that when Donald Trump was US president he once remarked to his chief of staff retired US general John Kelly that he needed [Nazi] generals like [Nazi Der Fuhrer] Hitler had [in WWII]. The Bill of Rights Constitutional United States of America needs the kinds of generals, including such as of recently retired, former US Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Mark Milley of our time, and armed forces that the USA and then US President Franklin D. Roosevelt had against and who and which thoroughly defeated Nazi-nation state dictator Adolph Hitler's generals and military, which a US President Kamala Harris (unlike a subversive and traitorous, NAZI-sympathizer Donald Trump) would opt for and have for the USA.

Christianity was an almost entirely pacifist, altruist-love practicing and proselytizing branch (the New Testament) of Judaism founded by Jesus the Messiah and based on his teachings, way of life and the dictums of his afterlife appearances to particularly his apostles Peter and John, of altruistic love, caring mutuality and fellowship among all peoples, all tongues and nations (even in apostle John’s bleak chapter Revelations of the New Testament, Jesus admonishes that those whose names will be written into the book of life (to have heavenly eternal life) will be based on their good deeds). Initially, it was, after the death of Jesus by crucifixion, the Apostolic Universal (Catholic) Church, until it later became the adopted [institutional] religion of the Roman Empire under Roman Emperor Constantine the Great, after which time it became the Roman Catholic Church. Protestant and Eastern Orthodox Christianity branched from Roman Catholicism -- Eastern Orthodox Christianity, including Greek, Coptic, Russian, etc., branched from it long before Protestantism. At root and fundamentally, true Christianity has nothing to do with racial, ethnic or other demographic identity and supremacy nor with provincialism or nationalism of any kind, which are all antithetical to true Christianity. Christianity originated in the Middle East and first spread to Asia Minor, Ionia and Greece, West Asia, Egypt and Ethiopia, not necessarily strictly in that order.

Islam became the predominate religion of these geographies, except for Greece and Ethiopia, as a result of the Arab military conquest of them, and other geographies, following the death of the de-facto first caliph of Islam and Islamic Arabia the Prophet Muhammad, 571 to 632 CE, the founder of Islam and a military conqueror and unifier of Arabia in the decade-plus following the death of his wealthy-merchant, well-educated and highly religious first wife Kadijah bint Khuwaylid, 554 to 619 CE, 17 years older than him and his employer, of a wealthy and powerful merchant Arabian nuclear family and extended family. The Prophet Muhammad left behind himself in life upon his death, as its until then leader, one of the most well equipped, trained, battle-seasoned and powerful of armies in the world. Arabia itself was a province of the western division of the Roman Empire before the fall of the hegemony of the once-mighty western division of the Roman Empire, and its armed forces were well trained and armed by the Roman military long before the birth of the Prophet Muhammad. Furthermore, its armed forces were considered formidable by their Roman political-military overlords. But after the fall of rulership jurisdiction of the said Roman Empire, there was infighting within and among the armed forces and warlords of Arabia, until the growing and growingly successful armed forces of the Prophet Muhammad eventually conquered and unified them all under his command and authority, with the political and probable financial help of the family clan of his deceased first wife into which she was born.)

[belle-of-a-time]

I keep dreaming about a movie. It does not exist.

Big ass castle, three princely brothers. The youngest is a bastard and is about 20? And his name is Ingram and I’m a little in love with him. There’s some sort of coup or siege or something. Ingram escapes, his eldest brother is captured, and the enemy tries to capture the middle brother as well but he ends up getting fatally wounded. There Is magic. As Ingram escapes on his horse he rides hard for a full night and into the day, his horse is tired, Ingram is grieving. They both collapse into a field with Nymphs? Feminine Nature spirits of some kind. Where they are tended to by the oldest matronly lady there. The girls are all super curious about His Magic tattoos all over his chest.

When he wakes up he’s surrounded by all these like young ladies. They appear in their mid teens like 14-17 not love interests, the older spirits all left to go on a quest leaving a few Elders behind to watch everyone who was too young to fight etc. they’re really curious. A lot of them have never seen a man and they’ve never seen Anyone with the crazy swirly tattoos. The purpose of them is to boost his strength and willpower in battle.

Queen was Not Happy about her husband having a bastard child so she has him installed as a general in their army at like 12 ridiculous age, hoping that he’ll just die and not be her problem anymore. He does not die and in fact becomes wildly successful and pisses off a few nations as a result.

Whatever the old ladies train him up with his own magic and help him heal up and keep in shape. So he’s now super powerful and deadly. He journeys home to save his family. On the way he encounters some people who help him and teach him useful skills. Like a traveling circus where he learns to throw his voice and I think builds up immunity to poisons or something? Etc etc he’s a skill monkey. His tattoos help him learn new skills quickly and he needs every advantage if he’s going to rescue his family.

He gets there and absolutely John wick murderizes the bad guys total ass kickery. Gets up to where his brother is being held and finds like 14 royal heirs and spares just a lot. Turns out the fucking wizard Councel had kidnapped a bunch of princes and princesses taken this big fuck off castle because it’s the most militarized and defensible and brought them all here until they got what they wanted from each kingdom. They were going to mind control his brother after so they could have a puppet ruler and just fuckin keep the castle.

Ingram Kicks the wizard guys asses too. His brother is crowned king and returns all of the stolen heirs and spares. One nation offers to advantageously match their spare princess with Ingram since he saved everyone on the terms that if they need to do some ass kicking he HAS to help. And he gets a little castle with his princess who also has a bunch of weird ass witchy skills and Mostly lives a quiet life because fucking nobody wants to mess with him after he single-handedly kicked the entire wizard council’s asses. Retires at like 22 officially in reserves.

Also his princess watched him fight those wizards and unlike almost everyone else who was a little bit grossed out by the wizard duel she was super into it like eyes shining anime sparkles around Ingram’s head she was very into it. It’s sort of implied the marriage was Her Idea because why get politically married off to some fucking boring asshole who will cheat on you when you can marry Mr ass Kicker the first who Definitely won’t even consider cheating on you because all he really wanted was to be out of the war machine.

[scotchiegirl]

Fam, I need you to see my vision for the wedding.

It's a combination wedding and retirement party for Nate and Sophie. Eliot is best man, Tara is maid of honor.

Sophie asked Parker to be maid of honor first and Parker tried, genuinely, but after Sophie unintentionally being a bit of a bridezilla and about a dozen too many people asking Parker for opinions she did not have about the wedding and her trying not to let Sophie down, there was a bit of a breakdown. After a long talk, Sophie promised Parker she wouldn't be mad if Parker didn't want to be maid of honor and Parker promised she wouldn't be offended if Sophie picked someone else to be maid of honor. So Sophie asked Tara and that ended up being a success.

Hardison is the other groomsman and combination adult ring bearer, Parker stayed on as a bridesmaid and combination adult flower girl. It's very chic, according to Sophie.

Sophie and the bridesmaids are handling everything related to the bride, Nate and the groomsmen are handling... Everything else. Hardison volunteered to DJ and almost got the job but Eliot took Nate aside and begged the man to hire someone else because Hardison's music taste is questionable and definitely not for a wedding. Nate made some comment about needing Hardison free on the day and put him in charge of keeping an eye on the crooked photographer they're conning, because if Nate is anything it's a multitasker and this is ALSO a good opportunity to take down a corrupt wedding photographer.

Eliot's in charge of keeping an eye on the catering and flowers. Nate tends to venue, guest lists, and invitations, with Sophie's occasional input. (It feels weird to invite Maggie to his wedding, but she's important to him and Sophie and it feels weird not to have her there either. She gets an invite. Sterling recently had issues with the team over the black book, nearly leading to a couple of injuries. Sterling does Not get an invitation. Maggie invites him as her plus one and he comes anyway. Sterling never realized before how much power Maggie had if one sardonic eyebrow raised from her was able to quell Eliot Spencer. Eliot was actually just too busy to think about fighting and Maggie was silently asking if he was okay.)

On the day of the wedding, Murphy's Worst Law comes into full effect, and anything that will go wrong does go wrong. Cue "Tangled Ever After" levels of shenanigans on the part of the groomsmen and bridesmaids trying to make sure the happy couple is not disturbed and everything goes off smoothly for the wedding, the con, and the party. Eliot at one point has to rip off his suit jacket and dive into the kitchen to save the meal. Tara is juggling personal politics out in the reception area making sure no one with deadly vendettas who invited themselves gets near each other (Quinn is there as security but has his hands full babysitting Cha0s, who invited himself and got bored very quickly). Parker has to steal the rings from the hotel's entirely-too-complicated-for-a-hotel vault after the assistant manager accidentally triggered the burglar alarm. Hardison has to Jerry-rig a DJ station after the DJ and all equipment gets stuck twenty miles out of town with a flat tire and won't be in for several hours. It's pure chaos from beginning to end but by some miracle they manage to pull it off and Sophie and Nate are married with only minor visible mistakes. It's only after everything and as Sophie and Nate are leaving that Nate makes some comment about all the hard work their bridal party put in and Sophie's like "... Wait WHAT?!" as a whole lot of things that didn't make sense all day suddenly start clicking.

After Nate and Sophie leave the rest of the bridal party have a good old histerical laugh about "how in the FUCK did we manage to pull that off" and Tara's like "I don't even care if the rest of the evening goes up in flames, we did it!" And they go back to the party as a team/friends.

Anyway, that's the vision.

Tossing around a Leverage au where Leverage Inc. is just a little bit more... legitimate.

Hardison's good at what he does, after all. He's the best, and he regularly makes covers just a little bit too good. It takes a few months before the others realize that not only have they got unbreakable aliases, they have clean original personas. There's suddenly no illegal history attached to Eliot Spencer's name, he's a security consultant. Sophie Deveraux is an acknowledged art aficionado and collector. Parker Leverage is the granddaughter and heir of Harlan Leverage III, stepping into her own. Nathan Ford is current CEO of the consulting company after proving himself by aiding in the arrest and trial of Victor Dubenich. And Alec Hardison? Well, he's tech support. No illegal hacking required.

Nate has the luck of the devil and an angel on both shoulders, things just come up roses for him, no matter what he lays his hands on. Nine months into running Leverage Consulting, he's approached by the FBI. There's something they can't quite get at, and sources pinned Nathan Ford and his team at the home of the Mascones before their fall. Taggert and McSweeten are good at their jobs for a change and notified their handlers of the strange group of people that helped them while claiming to be FBI. Nathan Ford is offered a deal. Work with the FBI with immunity and a blind eye turned to the alternate sources of revenue coming in. Leverage Inc. will remain completely under his control, but as consultants doing occasional work for the FBI. Nathan agrees on one condition: the FBI also turns a blind eye to anything weird that happens with Blackwell at IYS. Terms are set and agreed upon.

Leverage Inc. is now legitimate thieves. Taggert and McSweeten are their liaisons in the company and join them on occasional heists. As things go on, more thieves get a taste of helping without having to be afraid of being caught. Tara joins as a consultant to the consulting company. Quinn resists but eventually calls in Eliot's favor to say he was working with Leverage to get him out of a tough legal spot. Cha0s hisses like a feral cat and refuses to go anywhere near respectability. Archie gets to tell his family about his "secret past" working with the government and Parker gets to meet her adoptive siblings. They don't understand each other but Parker teaches her nieces and nephews to pick locks and helps them sneak out of the house without being noticed.

When Nate steps down he officially passes on CEO status to Parker, as is her right as heir. There's an intern section where kids with promise get to train under mentors to make more teams for continuing the good work of helping people, one case at a time.

(It's just a thought, and it came to me while thinking about how Nate and Sophie's wedding would look as a corporate event for Leverage Inc. and just... yeah. No thoughts just vibes right now but if anyone wants to take it and run with it/write with it, just let me know. Also I do understand that this would fundamentally change Leverage as we know it, I just wanted to get this out there as a sandbox au idea. Just What If, I don't actually think this is how Leverage should have been done.)

[peearrdee]

Dream SMP AU fic that looks like generic RPF on the surface (everyone is a streamer or content creator) but it soon becomes clear that it is definitely the DSMP characters because almost none of them are Minecraft streamers and half of them aren’t even human.

Dream is a voiceless 100% speedrunner vtuber. He inexplicably still has beef with Tommy, a prank vlogger. Wilbur makes political and social commentary video essays and lives with his father Philza (Japanese sword collector). BBH is a retired veteran who turned to baking to relax. His life partner Skeppy is a prank vlogger, and their son Sapnap is an shooter game player who got famous for melting his entire setup with fire breath live on stream after getting too mad about a bug that cost him a match.

Eret is a queer cosplayer who also happens to be a member of a royal family and a major diplomat. His community tab is like “Sorry I didn’t upload this week v-v I had to renegotiate a trade agreement and that took a lot out of me! Whew! ^-^” Tommy also does music mixing streams and chill sewing videos. Tubbo is doing “mechanics ASMR” where he silently makes clockwork and electrical devices. His enderman husband Ranboo does family vlogs but never shows pictures of Michael or Tubbo or himself, just their hands and Michael’s hooves and voice. No one knows they’re married except for the people who recognize Tubbo’s hands.

Sam is a engineering professor whose uploads range from cute videos of his dogs to hour long video essays on industrial manufacturing. Ponk collects shoes. Technoblade is the only Minecraft YouTuber. He’s also a piglin brute who needs a custom gaming setup for his massive hooves. Foolish is still posting Tiktok thirst traps.

[thelaithlyworm]

DMBJ Rare Pair Exchange Reveals (1)

Discussed roughly in order of the writing.

“Three Meals With Mr Wu”

This was for the person I matched with, Hils, who wanted among other things: “Pangzi introduces Piaopiao to his other partner(s) and they figure out how to make it work”

And I… didn’t entirely put as much Pangzi in there as I’d intended, but I hope Hils had fun.

One of the things I like about the Daomu Biji novels, and many of the visual adaptations (a lot of the movies are pretty lean), is that they’re carrier-bag stories that persistently drag “ordinary” people, with their preoccupations and fears and loves, right through the adventure shenanigans and Cosmic, and the stories remind us that these preoccupations and fears and loves matter right alongside the protagonist’s worries. Piaopiao is one of those people. But also, her story in the back half of Reboot s1 parallels Wu Xie and Pangzi pretty strongly - she’s exploring the dangerous world of illegal antiquing even as Wu Xie explores Warehouse 11; she’s grappling with the oncoming death of a loved one even as Pangzi is. So… when I started writing her interacting with Wu Xie, I wanted to explore points of commonality.

The introduction to the Sand Sea novels is from the POV of a third-party writer who made friends with ‘Guan Gen the Photographer’ (Wu Xie’s alias) at a mixer, largely because they’d both experienced tragedies in their lives and could relate, which evolved into sending packets of cakes to each other for a while until he Disappears Mysteriously. It seemed a reasonable thing to borrow for Piaopiao, who has also had a life of trouble. There was also another prompt in the collection, about Wu Xie and Piaopiao meeting on an arranged date, all of which boiled into a scenario of Wu Xie Finds A Fake Girlfriend So His Parents Won’t Worry About His Loveless Existence.

It was definitely interesting how much Wu Xie put into appearances, during that first meeting, and how much Piaopiao wasn’t looking at his face but at the visual code of his clothing. And how polite and extremely frank they could be, and at her perception of the bleak wasteland one saw just as soon as one looked properly at his eyes.

I think my favourite scene was in Xue Wu’s house, as they eat together while Pangzi sleeps, and slip right back into Extremely Frank. 

“[I meant tell me] something true about you.”

After a pause, Mr Wu says, “My grandfather named me Wu Xie.”

Piaopiao stares at him.

“I’m sorry,” he adds. “I’ve had a complicated life.”

And also, at the end of that scene. Because Piaopiao is friendly but not so close that his grief will cause her pain, Wu Xie just… stumbles into a bit of a breakdown. And she sits with him and offers a handkerchief and is just quietly there and won’t blab to Pangzi that Wu Xie might, god forbid, be a little bit sad about his impending death. Ai.

The I-Ching epigrams came quite late in the writing process. I described Yatou’s eyes as ‘deep as a lake under the mountains’ then wondered what that hexagram might mean. And it worked pretty well: Decrease, which is about gain and loss and the balance between people. And since I knew from the first that Piaopiao was still going to get into an accident, just not a lethal one… at some point Pangzi was going to have to choose which loved one he left to fend for themself. Who gets deprived? Can they balance things so that their increase does not decrease others? (Answer: yes, because Wushanju is a polycule, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.)

“Morning, Evening”

So this was written as a Treat and I was almost ready to post it when I realised I was impinging on a DNW but didn’t want to change that part of the plot so in the end I had no chill and posted it as a general fic and then it turned out the potential giftee, mekare, liked it anyway. So it all worked out in the end! Hmmm, I wonder if @merinnan would let me tuck it into the Collection?

Anyway. Giftee wanted Piaopiao retiring with the Iron Triangle to Rain Village, with domesticity and fluff, and possibly evolving their relationship to include a new person. In the end I went with some short scenes throughout the day, with the people in ones and twos, coming together near the end for dinner. Because people can do their own thing and still be part of a family, yeah?

So two things that come up in the Rain Village era of the novels is that a) Xiaoge often just knows when someone is about to die of old age or sickness and will sit with them, talk with them, work to honour their last wish etc. and b) Wu Xie has acquired a Special Interest in ecology, which naturally led into Xiaoge helping a v. old lady up a mountain to fly a brilliant red kite one more time before she goes, while Wu Xie replants a deforested slope with Xiao-Mei - while also speculating on when they can get fish from the stream they’re cleaning while also telling a funny story and meditating on the nature of Wanting Things, because if I ever write Wu Xie only thinking about One Thing at One Time, I will have lost touch with canon. And I dunno - it just seemed really important to have scenes that touched on the cycle of life and death.

(Xiao-Mei and Wu Xie are spending a lot of time together because her mum and Pangzi are doing that lovey-dovey honeymoon stuff right now and Xiao-Mei and Wu Xie are Not Monsters.)

I wanted something a little funny for Pangzi - but also that little shock when he realises he’s in his happy ending(!!!). And Piaopiao quietly getting used to the idea that other people have her back right now, while also living the glamorous life of a Notorious Woman(™). And, of course, Pangzi and Piaopiao slow-dancing to an old record while other people do the cooking scutwork seems like Relationship Goals to me. May they continue to slow dance for many years to come.

[animeomegas]

Omega!Narutoverse Future Family Headcanons

This is a compilation of my headcanons about future families for my favourite Naruto boys (excluding Kakashi who is childfree in my headcanons.) 

This is very long, so I’ve put most of it under a cut <3 Enjoy~

Naruto:  : 4 children – Son (omega), adopted daughter (alpha), twin sons (betas). 

Has his son about four years before he becomes Hokage.

His son is a huge daddy’s boy type and clings to Naruto every chance that he gets. 

Naruto never lets his role as Hokage take him away from his son any more than absolutely necessary. Does he take his son into his office? Absolutely. He puts down a little play pen on the floor while he works :’). 

His son loves cuddles so much and he is so gentle. 

He doesn’t like pranks though which makes Naruto a little sad but he would never do anything to make his little one sad. 

Male omegas can be identified from birth, so you both knew he was, but even if you didn’t it’s very obvious. He makes his own little nest next to Naruto’s but ends up crawling into Naruto’s for cuddles every time. 

As he gets older, he attends the academy, but he hates it so much. He reminds me a little of a young Itachi, a pacifist to the core. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone! He begs you and Naruto to let him attend the civilian school, and of course you let him. 

Naruto gets a lot of shit for allowing this from some parties *cough* the council *cough*. The Hokage’s children should be powerful ninjas according to them, but Naruto will always prioritise his children’s happiness. Naruto shields his son from the hate as much as possible, but some slips through.

 The transition is easier if you are a civilian, your son feels a little more secure if that’s the case, and he would consider following your footsteps depending on what you do. If you run a little business, he would definitely want to work with you. If you’re also a ninja he can feel left out and unsure, but he grows into such a quietly confident person, who starts a little business. 

Not being a ninja also means he can be there for his younger siblings. He is a dedicated older brother who is always there for them. He has a room for each other them at his house and loads of medical supplies for when they come back from missions injured and won’t go to the hospital. He always patches them up. 

All his younger siblings respect him so much. He is a very reliable person, and his siblings get so offended if they hear any anti-civilian talk from the ninjas they work with.

When Naruto is about a year into working as Hokage, he goes to visit the orphanage, a place that he reformed hugely as soon as he could. It’s so much nicer than it was and he’s so happy. 

But there is one girl that he sees there, and she’s being bullied by some of the other kids. At only three years old, Naruto’s heart breaks for her. Turns out that she’s being teased for being a female alpha. Times have changed a lot, but there are still some horrible stereotypes about male omegas and female alphas, even if those aren’t the norm anymore. 

He intervenes and wipes away her tears, uncomfortably reminded of his own stay at the orphanage when he was her age. He wraps up the visit and leaves, but he just can’t get here out of his head. 

He’s been wanting another child, but he’s still in a vulnerable position so early into being Hokage that he can’t afford the time off for maternity leave. 

Hesitantly, he brings up the idea of adoption to you, when you respond positively, he’s like great 😊, I have one picked already. 

It’s only about a fortnight later that you’re picking her up and bringing her home. At first, she is very shy and reserved but when she gets comfortable, you learn that she is the opposite. 

She’s very forthright and opinionated, she always says what she feels and stands up for injustice. 

Her favourite thing is to come home and tell you and Naruto about her day. She never leaves out any detail and has been known to demand to go and see Naruto while he’s working so that she can tell him about something that happened at school. 

Naruto ends up unwillingly up to date with all the academy drama. 

She’s quite serious and likes to have grown up conversations and sit at the grown ups table. 

She ends up attending the academy and she just thrives on all the history and politics lessons! She great at negotiating and learning about people. 

She makes strong friends and has a tight knit friendship group that she keeps all the way to adulthood. 

She ends up making Chunin pretty quickly but waits a long while before taking the Jounin exam. She ends up specialising in international relations. 

She works as an ambassador for Konoha and gets to travel around all the countries. She adores her job, but she does sometimes miss her family. Naruto gets sad when he sends her for long missions, knowing that he can’t come and see her for that time, but there’s no one he would trust more to act on behalf on Konoha and she always brings back souvenirs for everyone.

The twins are quite a bit younger than the other two. Six years younger than their older sister, and eight years younger than their older brother. 

In a better position now, Naruto wants to try for one final child. 

Of course, you get twins. 

It takes a bit of re-planning, but Naruto is overjoyed at the fact that he’s pregnant with twins! He gives birth to identical twin boys. You can’t tell from birth whether a baby is a male alpha or male beta, and they end up showing signs of being betas when they’re about 12.

These boys are little troublemakers, and Naruto rejoices and finally having some of his children who likes pranks like he does!

They excel at strategy and trap making when they join the academy but the oldest struggles a little with the more academic side. 

Naruto is so patient in helping him because he knows what it’s like to be a physical learner in an academic environment. 

They are the babies of the family and they get away with everything haha. 

When they end up graduating, they are put on the same genin team and they continue to work together for their entire careers. They are similar to Izumo and Kotestu. They know each other so well and both have complimentary skills, so they make a formidable duo on the battlefield. 

Naruto hates sending them on dangerous missions though. If they ever didn’t come back, I don’t think Naruto would recover, knowing that he sent them to the place that they died. 

These two also definitely take on a genin team when they first get promoted to jounin, and they’re great teachers! I can’t decide if they would have one together, or if they would have one each and compete in ridiculous challenges like whose genin team can get the most d ranks done in one day. 

They remind people of Kakashi and Gai in a lot of ways. 

Sasuke:  1 child – daughter (beta).

Sasuke has a daughter in his late twenties, after he’s had some time to deal with his trauma. 

He’s undeniably in a better place but he struggles badly with PPD, making the first year very difficult on your family. 

Eventually things get better though, and you work together to raise your daughter. 

She is wicked smart, very much into scholarly things, but she also loves weapons, particularly any sort of blade. Sasuke teaches her how to use a sword and they bond a lot over it. 

She’s pretty quiet and withdrawn, preferring to read a book or practice with her weapons than socialise. Sasuke tries to get her to make more friends but she calls him out on being a hypocrite and he’s so offended that he drops the issue. 

She does well in the academy but she lowkey hates going. She likes going more if either you or Sasuke are there to pick her up and walk home with her, she doesn’t like walking home alone because the Uchiha compound is so damn far away and isolated. 

When she awakens her sharigan when she’s a chunin, Sasuke has a pretty bad reaction. The sharigan isn’t associated with anything good in his mind, so he freaks out when his daughter activates it. You need to give him some time and support and he’ll come around. He’s the only one who can train her after all. 

Sasuke is so proud of his daughter when she makes Jounin, which of course, she does. I could see her taking on a powerful advisory role for the Hokage as a jounin.

She is someone who believes that there is a lot to learn from history, and is a great advisory asset in helping to avoid past mistakes.

Itachi: Canon = none / Non-massacre Au = 2 children. Son (omega), daughter (beta). 

Has a son shortly after you get married. 

Itachi is a family man through and through and can’t wait to retire from being a ninja (which he hates) to being able to raise his children full time. 

The day Itachi gets moved from the active list to the reserves list after he becomes pregnant is one of the happiest days of his life. 

His son is very responsible and serious. 

He likes to follow Itachi around and help him clean and cook and run errands. He always tidies up his toys and keeps his room clean, and he almost always behaves respectfully and sensibly. 

Itachi never forces him to do too much though, he wants his son to have a fun childhood like he never had. 

Itachi is over the moon when his son shows an interest in calligraphy, happy that his son is picking up a healthy hobby. 

He buys him all the supplies and gets him a teacher if he wants one. It warms Itachi’s heart to see his son interested in something other than chores for once. 

Despite the pressure from the clan for his children to attend the academy, Itachi puts his foot down for one of the first times in his life, saying that his children will only become ninja if they want to. 

His son does in fact want to attend the academy. 

Itachi kind of wishes he didn’t. 

Itachi’s son shows a huge proficiency for fuinjutsu, his calligraphy skills coming in handy. Seeing as the skill is so rare, he becomes one of the leading experts in Konoha. 

Itachi is very supportive and lowkey glad that his son is so powerful and can defend himself. Itachi is also very glad that his son can continue with his fuuinjustsu passion long after he retires from being an active ninja. 

Itachi hopes that safety net (producing seals for other ninjas and continuing to earn money from his hobby) will mean his son can retire whenever he wants and not have to worry. Rather than becoming stuck in the shinobi lifestyle.

Itachi’s daughter is born five years after his son, an age gap that was larger than he would have liked, but he had a pretty traumatic birth the first time around and he needed to give his body some time to recover.

Itachi puts a lot of emphasis on a loving relationship between his children, and his daughter adores her older brother so much! She follows him around and tries to copy him all the time, and he help her with homework and plays with her. 

It makes Itachi very, very happy to see them bond. 

Itachi’s daughter is a beta and has everyone wrapped around her finger from the moment she is born. 

She’s charming, well spoken, and polite but with a very sarcastic personality. 

She has a very similar sense of humour to Itachi actually. A sort of under the breath commentary style. Goodness help anyone who finds themselves opposing Itachi and his daughter. 

Academy teachers get put in their place so fast when they join forces, the teachers don’t even know what happened. 

As Itachi’s daughter joins the academy, she follows after her uncle and develops fangirls and fanboys… She’s very popular. Very popular. 

And she loves it. 

Itachi is not as fond. 

He is not above staring coldly at children for badgering his beloved daughter. 

When she grows up, she works as a ninja, favouring a more jack of all trades kind of style. She likes to learn a little bit of everything. 

She’s the same way with relationships too. She never gets married or mated, preferring casual relationships and has no interest in children, she lives her life doing whatever she wants with whoever she wants. 

Itachi is very proud of her, and secretly very amused when his clan constantly tries and fails to control her.

Shikamaru: 1 child – daughter (alpha)

Shikamaru has a child at about 25, and he knew from the get-go that he was a one and done kind of guy.

He’s not a fan at all of the infant stage and does not want to do it more than once. 

The Nara clan have a very high proportion of alphas, so Shikamaru kinda expected his child to be one. And lo and behold she was. 

His daughter is the spitting image of him in every way. She is the most mellow alpha ever. So much so that most people assume she’s a beta, and she doesn’t really care enough to correct them about it. 

She is also very close to her grandparents, who dote on her and spoil her as much as they can. 

She excels at school in the same way her father did before her, retaining average marks despite being miles ahead of most of her peers.

Shikamaru teaches her how to play shogi and all about the beauty of napping. She takes to them both like a duck to water. She is so much like Shikamaru that everyone comments on it constantly. 

Although, while she loves a good cloud gazing session with her father, she actually takes to creative writing as her favourite hobby. She uses a pseudonym to avoid attention, but she ends up writing a series of books that becomes one of the most popular book series in the shinobi nations. 

Shikamaru is so insanely proud that his daughter can have both a successful ninja career and a successful hobby/side career. He brags to anyone who knows her pseudonym constantly, including you and his parents. 

He also keeps a set of first edition, signed copies of all her books. He reads them when she’s away on long missions sometimes, as a way of feeling closer to her.

Shikamaru and his daughter remain incredibly close all their lives.

Shino: 1 child – daughter (omega)

Shino had a child slightly later than most of his friends, at around 34. 

Shino’s daughter is a very curious child! She’s quiet and withdrawn around strangers but very talkative with her family and close friends.

Her favourite place to be is on Shino’s lap. And when around strangers, she always hides behind him, or buries her face into his shoulder. 

Shino loves to spend time with his daughter outside. He teaches her all about insects and plants, leading her around the woods after when she can still barely walk. 

Shibi does the same with her, and those two are very close. 

Shino is fiercely protective of his daughter, and never forces her into doing things she isn’t comfortable with. He defends her right to be quiet and clingy, and it takes some convincing to get him to understand that she needs to make friends outside of her immediate family. 

When she cries for anything, Shino gives in straight away, as long as she isn’t wanting to do anything extremely dangerous. Because of this, she develops quite the sweet tooth, having had as many cookies as she wanted as a child. 

Shino’s daughter ends up teaching at the academy as a career chunin, because despite being shy around adults, she is fantastic with children, very patient and understanding. 

Shino is very happy with her choices, because he was a little worried that she would end up scarred from a shinobi career, and he hates any situation in which he can’t protect her. 

She has her own children pretty young, and Shino is just a good a grandfather as he is a father.

Neji: 2 children – adopted daughter (beta), adopted son (alpha)

Neji is about 30 when he decides he wants to try to have a baby. 

And he’s 32 when he finally comes to terms with the fact that he isn’t going to be able to conceive naturally because of the suppressant abuse he endured as a child. 

Then, tragically, one of the branch members of his clan dies giving birth. Her mate can’t handle the stress and dies shortly afterwards, leaving their two-year-old daughter and newborn son behind. 

Dying after a mate dies is not super uncommon but is much rarer in the cases where children are involved, so this exact situation doesn’t happen very often. 

His heart breaks for them and he is close to begging you to adopt them with him. 

And soon enough you have two children, siblings, and both Hyuugas like Neji. 

You would never forget Neji’s face when he held his children for the first time. He would never let them be branded with the seal that has impacted his life so much. He would sooner run away from the clan forever.

Neji’s daughter takes a little while to adjust to her new parents, still distraught and grieving over the loss of her previous parents. 

Neji understands and gets her a therapist, but he finds it difficult to watch his child suffer. 

The first time she crawled into bed with you and Neji after a nightmare, Neji cried because she was finally starting to trust you both. 

Neji’s daughter is a beta and when she recovers from her childhood trauma, she shows her true colours as a limelight lover! 

She loves acting and dancing and singing whenever and wherever she can. She plans little plays for you and Neji, sitting you down to perform them for you every weekend. Neji is very proud! 

But he doesn’t really know what to do when his daughter says she doesn’t want to be a ninja. 

He loves and supports her, of course, but he’s thrown off, not really expecting it. 

Eventually, he agrees to send her to a civilian school, and she immediately flourishes there, making so many friends, even starting a little after school performance style club. 

Neji is so incredibly proud when she makes it as a famous actress. He lowkey brags constantly to his friends. 

“Oh, your child just got promoted to chunin? How lovely. My daughter made more money this year than any chunin will see in their life…” Sips tea. 

Neji’s daughter is so glamourous and outgoing and famous, but she never forgets her family, and loves to spoil you, Neji and her younger brother with her money.

Neji’s son doesn’t remember his biological parents and fits into your family seamlessly from day one. As far as he’s concerned, you and Neji are his only parents. 

Just like his older sister, this boy is very extroverted, but rather than singing all the time, he talks. He’s the chattiest person you could ever meet. 

Introverted Neji isn’t 100% sure about how to parent such extroverted children, he just doesn’t understand that they don’t enjoy too much solitary activity time. 

He’s feels a lot better if you’re an extrovert, that way, he can have some alone time to recharge while you handle the children. 

If you’re also an introvert… well, let’s hope Hinata was serious about her babysitting offer. 

Neji’s son talks to everyone as I already mentioned, and adults think he is the cutest thing ever. 

As he grows up, he always helps old people carry their shopping, he helps lost children find their parents, he is basically the alpha every parent dreams of their omega child bringing home. 

He’s very charming and Neji is a lot less surprised when his son says he doesn’t want to be a ninja. 

Eventually ends up working in the orphanage. 

The children adore him so, so much, and he loves his job dearly. 

Neji brags about him too. 

“Wow, your child got top marks in the academy? My child was hand-making birthday gifts for some children at the orphanage when he was 11. He decided to do it all by himself…” sips more tea. 

Whenever she’s in Konoha, his older sister turns up and gives all the kids at the orphanage gifts. She’s like a fun, rich aunt for all of them. 

Neither of Neji’s children have children of their own, as they find their respective careers to be the most fulfilling thing for them.

Neji is a very proud father and is happy when his children are happy.

Iruka: None, or 2 children (he’s happy with either) – adopted son (omega), adopted daughter (omega)

Iruka would be happy with no children because he’s so dedicated to his work and his students, but he also adores children and wouldn’t mind having some of his own. This is an au in which he decides to have children. 

He adopts his son at age 27, pretty soon after the war, choosing to adopt an older child who has less of a chance of being adopted. 

A six-year-old omega with a bright smile and loud laugh, Iruka is immediately taken with him. The war had left many orphans, and it was hard on Iruka to walk around the orphanage, knowing he couldn’t adopt them all. 

Iruka throws as much love as he can as his new son, taking time off work to bond with him properly, making sure to scent him loads and get him used to his new family environment. 

Iruka is thrilled when his son shows a knack for pranks.

He plays the disapproving parent in public, but honestly, he loves it, as long as things don’t go too far. 

Iruka’s son is a very kind-hearted person, if a little rambunctious, and he also has a huge nesting instinct. 

You knew he was an omega when you adopted him, but it was very clear, nonetheless. He has a permanent nest in his room that he likes to chill in with his friends when they come over (he’s very popular with the other kids in his class.). 

When he gets a little older, he goes to the academy, walking to and from every day with Iruka, and develops a passion for medicine when he’s a genin. 

He has great chakra control and eventually ends up working full time at the hospital as an adult. 

He chose a similar path to Iruka, in that he works as a ninja but is primarily based in the village, rarely leaving on missions. 

He makes sure to come home for dinner at least once a week after he’s moved out, no matter how busy the hospital gets. 

Iruka is so proud that his son is so talented and selfless, that sometimes it makes him tear up. 

Iruka knows that he doesn’t want just one child. 

When his parents died, he was all alone and it was horrible for him, so he knows he wants to have two children, so that when you and him die, they’re not alone. 

Iruka is very ready to adopt again about two years after he adopted his son. 

Iruka found the adoption process so rewarding that he wants to do it again over having a biological child. 

He adopts a little girl this time, five years old and also an omega. When Iruka was meeting the children, this girl brought him a paper flower that she had folded as a gift and his heart just melted right then and there. 

She fits in perfectly to your family, your son adored her immediately! 

With three omegas living in your house now, you were very much outnumbered. It was a common occurrence to find yourself missing all your warm clothes, them having been borrowed and buried inside one of the three nests (minimum) nests in your house. 

Iruka’s daughter is a gentle soul, but she is also strong. She appears like an easy target because she is soft spoken and reserved but she has a strong sense of justice and always stands up for herself and others. 

When she’s young, she likes the idea of going into medicine like her older brother as she admires and looks up to him, but she doesn’t like the realities of the job very much. 

She’s great at chakra control, but the idea of wrangling disobedient, injured shinobi doesn’t appeal to her. 

Until one day, on her way home from a friend’s house, she finds an injured stray dog. She brings it home and begs you and Iruka to keep him. So, your family of four turns into a family of five, and she becomes obsessed with veterinary medicine. 

As an adult, she ends up working at the veterinary clinic in the Inuzuka compound. She is committed to helping as many animals as she can, with a particular soft spot for dogs. 

She also joins the rest of her family for dinners at least once a week. Iruka is so overwhelmingly proud that he has two medic children, because he knows how talented you have to be to do that. 

He is also very happy that both his children stay mostly within the village. The war made Iruka a little paranoid, and he doesn’t worry so much when his children are safe within the village walls.

Gaara: 2 children – daughter (alpha), son (alpha)

Gaara has his children the youngest out of everyone his age that he knows. He had his daughter when he had just turned 21, and his son five years later when he was 26. 

His daughter is Gaara’s sweetheart. 

He adores her so much and spends as much time as he can with her. He is so gentle with her and loving all the time. 

Gaara’s daughter is very energetic and playful, but also quite sensitive. 

She loves positive attention, loves to play with everyone who will engage with her. 

She’s a very family-oriented person and loves spending time with Kankuro and Temari when you and Gaara are busy. 

However, because you, Gaara, Temari and Kankuro always treated her so gently, she was quite sensitive to people being angry or shouting at her. 

Once, her teacher at school shouted at her for talking in class and she ran straight to the Kazekage’s office crying. Gaara was furious. He hates when his children cry, so much. He let her stay with him for the rest of the day to calm her down, sending you a message to let you know he was looking after her. 

Gaara’s daughter visited him constantly, often bringing little lunchboxes of food for him, learning to new recipes constantly. 

Trying to surprise him, she develops a great skill in cooking. 

She decides, in the end, not to follow the shinobi route. She opens her own restaurant in Suna, charming customers with her amazing hostess skills and phenomenal cooking. 

She allows all her family to eat for free, but they all pay anyway, because they love to support her. Gaara, especially, always leaves a huge tip for her and her staff.

Gaara’s son is born five years after his daughter, another alpha, leaving Gaara very outnumbered, with both his siblings, his mate and his children all being alphas. 

Gaara’s son is very quiet and tactile. 

He loves cuddles and hugs but doesn’t speak very much. 

He enjoys spending time with Gaara in Gaara’s nest, despite not having nesting instincts of his own. 

Gaara’s son is very close to you and Gaara. He always tells you when something is bothering him, and although he doesn’t speak much, he chooses his words carefully and they always mean something.

He actually excels at shinobi school, both in academics and in sparring, and moves up the ranks quickly. He spends a lot of time training with Kankuro and gets into puppetry. 

Even when he becomes a jounin, he spends time with Gaara in his nest, still loving physical affection. 

Gaara enjoys hosting family gatherings for everyone, his daughter cooks loads of dishes for it, his son makes sure to take time off missions to attend, and sometimes Temari drags Shikamaru to Suna as well to join them all. 

Gaara smiles more often than not now, feeling so proud of the life he crafted for himself, and the family he worked hard to create.

(Phew! That was a lot! I hope you enjoyed, let me know what you thought and send me your own headcanons!!! <3)

[writingonsaturn]

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol 

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

  --

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile. 

“Come on, that was funny.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.” 

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?” 

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.” 

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around. 

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year. 

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.” 

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right. 

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--” 

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.” 

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.” 

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?” 

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.” 

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.” 

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed. 

“What do you want?” 

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.” 

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking. 

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?” 

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.” 

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything. 

“What is it?” 

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?” 

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel. 

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.” 

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.” 

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--” 

“I’d feel more assured.” 

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.” 

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.” 

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label. 

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father. 

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings? 

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.” 

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow. 

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.” 

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.” 

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent? 

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.” 

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.” 

“Really?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek. 

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.” 

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.” 

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--” 

“I’m not wrong.” 

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?” 

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.” 

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.” 

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.” 

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.” 

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?” 

“I’m older than you.” 

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.” 

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.” 

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body. 

“Y/n?” 

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?” 

“You’re being quiet.” 

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.” 

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.” 

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.” 

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep. 

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him. 

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine. 

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words. 

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.” 

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.” 

“Now you’re sure?” 

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.” 

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.” 

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.” 

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine. 

--

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up. 

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously. 

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare.  I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently. 

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

 My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me. 

“Y/n, I--” 

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.” 

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once. 

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?” 

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I  thought I had lost you.” 

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.” 

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand. 

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.” 

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” 

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--” 

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

“If anything ever happened to y--” 

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--” 

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?” 

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”  

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage. 

“Y/n?” 

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him. 

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?” 

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares. 

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?” 

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.” 

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--” 

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--” 

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.” 

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?” 

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.” 

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?” 

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.” 

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?” 

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.” 

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.” 

“I am not tired.” 

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.” 

“I can see it in yours too.” 

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.” 

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know. 

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest. 

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?” 

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.” 

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”  

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.” 

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight. 

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips. 

[thatbritishactor]

Adventures in Success (part 7)

Adventures in Success (part 7)

Pairing : Ben Barnes x Reader

Warnings : None, this chapter’s FLUFFY AF.

Summary: Ben’s agent is retiring and the firm wants you to represent him. It’s going to be hard for you not to mix work with feelings.

Words: 3,000

Type: Slow Burn, Fluff

Part 1   Part 2     Part 3     Part 4    Part 5   Part 6   Part 8

gif by bnbrns

My masterlist

3 months later

Ben’s been back in LA for a few days when he receives a text from you. Ever since your text exchange while you were drunk, the two of you resumed on your usual banter, leaving the unfamiliar politeness behind, much to his relief. It feels like the emotional wall you’ve put up between you and him progressively came crawling down with every text exchange. You are scheduled to meet for dinner tonight, and he can’t wait to see you.

He’s surprised you haven’t contacted him as he received the best news he’s ever gotten in his entire career. He’s been nominated for the Volpi Cup, the award for best actor in the Venice Film Festival, for the Bong Joon Ho movie. When he got the news from the film crew, he almost cried tears of joy. He was incredibly proud, but most importantly, he knew you’d have to drop his contract, as you had agreed. He wondered how you felt about his nomination, and why you hadn’t contacted him right away. Had you found someone else? If so, was it serious? His heart jumped in his chest when he saw your name illuminating his screen. He opened your message eagerly.

You: Hi Ben, I know we were supposed to meet today for dinner, but I got the flu and i’ve been stuck home for the last two days. I’m still feverish and I can’t make it out I’m so sorry… :(

So, that was why you hadn’t contacted him. Selfishly, he preferred to know that you were stuck home with the flu than in the arms of another guy. He writes back to you:

Ben: I can come over and bring some soup, herbal tea and flu medicine :)

You: absolutely not Ben, I’d never forgive myself if you got the flu because of me.

He raises his eyebrows as he reads your message. He won’t let you get away with this.

Ben: I’m immune to the flu :) plus I have some verrry important news and I NEED to see you.

You: I cant let you see me this way :( I haven’t showered in two days and I look like shit.

Ben: I don’t care. I’m coming.

You: Fine, you’re the f***** worst.

Ben: see you in an hour :)

Ben can’t stop smiling as he gets in his car to go to the grocery store, he’s so gleeful he could break into a song and start dancing in the street.

* * * * * * * * *

He knocks on your door, familiar with your place as he’s already been here a few times, for movie nights mostly. He’s even slept on your convertible couch after some nights where the two of you drank too much. You open slightly the door and he catches a glimpse of your face.

“Ugh, I can’t believe you came” you sigh as you turn over and leave the door open. He laughs loudly.

“That’s no way to greet me after a six months separation” he protests.

He smiles widely when he notices that you’re wearing a blanket around your shoulders, sweat pants and fuzzy socks. You’re walking awkwardly around your living room, looking exhausted. Your hair his wet so you’ve definitely taken a shower before he arrived. You look pale, your nose is red, you have dark circles under your eyes. You definitely look sick, but still cute, he thinks to himself. He sets the grocery bag on the table while you sit on your couch, staring at nothing.

“So, I took some chicken soup” he announces “some herbal tea, honey for your throat, your favorite ice cream and some ibuprofen”. He looks back at you, you’re wiping your nose with a tissue. You look so precious, he wants to hold you close and kiss you. He resists the urge and sets the items on your living room table, before making a trip to your kitchen to set the ice cream in the freezer.

“Thank you, Ben, that’s so kind of you” you reply weakly when he enters the living room. “I think my temperature’s rising again, I don’t feel too good” you add in a weak voice. He comes to sit next to you on the couch and presses a hand to your forehead. It’s clammy and hot, you’re burning up.

“Yep, feels like you’re having a fever” he states “I’ll get you some ibuprofen” he says, getting back up and heading to your kitchen to get a glass of water. He comes back a few seconds later and you’re lying on your side, your legs pressed to your chest, softly whining.

“It’s okay, I’m here” he says in a smooth voice. He crouches next to you and hands you the pill and the glass of water. You stare at him with glassy eyes.

“I can’t believe you came” you say, repeating the first words you’ve uttered to him when he got here.

“I told you, I have some important news to tell you” he says, smiling.

“But you’re seeing me like this” you whine, gesturing towards yourself. “I look like a monster” you say, closing your eyes.

“That’s not true, you look sick” he protests “You still look pretty and cute, don’t worry”, he adds with a grin. You hide your face in a cushion, not replying.

“Come on, take the pill” he says patiently. You open your eyes again and slowly sit.

“Thank you” you whisper, your hands trembling a bit.

“Do you want to eat something?” he asks, concerned.

You nod to say no “I’m not hungry” you say, wincing.

“When’s the last time you ate?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You look away, thinking, scrunching your nose a bit. God you’re cute, he thinks, having to resist the urge to kiss you again.

“I don’t really remember” you reply “The fever’s making the last few days blurry” you add, scrubbing your eyes.

“I’m gonna get you some soup” he says, and he goes to the kitchen to get you a spoon.  He puts the kettle on to make you some tea as well, because he wouldn’t be a true British person of he didn’t.

“It’s still warm” he says, coming back in the living room. You nod as you patiently wait for him to bring you the soup, and sigh when he gives you the warm bowl.

“So, what’s the big news?” you ask.

“It can wait.” Ben answers, rubbing your arm to warm you up, seeing you shivering.

“But you came for that” you protest, drinking your soup.

“I came to see you” he replies, smiling softly.

You nod your head, closing your eyes “This is so good” you say.

“I’m glad you like it” he replies, getting comfortable on the couch. “Do you want to watch something?” he asks, gesturing towards your TV. “A comforting movie, perhaps?”

You look at him, smiling softly “Yeah, I could watch something” you say “I’ve spent the last two days in bed” you add.

“What do you want to watch?” he asks, looking intently at you. Even when you’re sick, you still have the same effect on him. His chest feels a bit tight and he desperately wants to touch you. You think for a few seconds before smiling slowly, your eyes looking heavy. You look so tired and weak, it breaks his heart “Princess Bride” you reply, looking content.

He laughs “Princess Bride it is!” he replies as he turns the TV on. He goes back to the kitchen to fetch you your tea, adding a generous amount of honey to soothe your throat. He comes back in the room and you’re standing next to the sofa.

“Could you unfold the couch?” you ask weakly, looking up at him. “I want to fall asleep in front of the film” you add.

He has the resist the urge to cup your face with both of his hands and kiss you. “Of course” he replies, happy to feel useful to you. He expertly unfolds the sofa, and you climb on it right away, still wrapped in your blanket. He lies down next to you and launches the movie. He feels genuinely content in this moment, thinking that there’s no place where he’d rather be, because he’s with you. He thinks to himself that he simply needs your company to feel whole and happy, and he realizes, for the hundredth time, how serious his feelings are for you. He glances at you and sees that you’re shivering.

“Are you alright?” he asks, concerned.

“I’m so cold” you reply, hugging yourself.

“I’ll get another blanket” he replies, and you reach for his arm before he gets up.

“Can you hold me?” you ask, looking at him. His heart explodes with joy in his chest and he tries to control his facial expression.

“Of course” he replies softly with an even voice, and he’s impressed with himself. He slides closer to you on the sofa and opens his arms, and you snuggle against him, sighing, seeming satisfied.

“You smell so good” you say after a few seconds.

He laughs. Why do you need to be in an altered state to say these things to him? Drunk or feverish? What stops you from saying how you feel? Why do you have to control yourself this much? he thinks bitterly.

“Thank you” he replies, his heart beating fast in his chest.

“Why do you have to be so perfect?” you ask, your eyes closed. You seem like you’re slowly falling asleep.

“What do you mean?” he asks, still half laughing.

“You’re smart, kind, funny, unbearably handsome.” you reply, yawning, before snuggling your face against his chest.

“You’re not so bad yourself” he replies softly, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“I’m not good enough for you” you reply, and your eyes are closed, your expression relaxed.

“What? That’s nonsense” he replies, frowning and aghast.

“Hmmmm...” you reply, your head falling a bit, and he understands that you’ve fallen asleep now. He looks back at the TV, distracted. Is that why you won’t date him? Using the excuse of being his agent? Because you’re insecure? He frowns as he ponders on this, still holding you against him. Your breathing is even and your face relaxed, and he feels happy and privileged to see you this way, unguarded and natural. He falls asleep before the movie ends, sill suffering from jet lag.

* * * * * * * * * *

You open your eyes, waking from the fever dream you were just having. You feel sweaty and cold, coming down from your fever. You look around you and find Ben lying next to you, asleep. You stare at his beautiful face for a few seconds, lit by the glowing screen of the TV. You usually can’t stare at him as much as you want to, so you indulge fully. You look at his eyes, his long lashes, the beauty spot you love so much. His nose, his mouth, his beard. His cheekbones, the soft curve of his lips. You heart aches in your chest, you find him so beautiful it almost makes you want to weep.

You close your eyes and sigh deeply, and decide to get up and take a shower to clean the sweat off yourself. You get up slowly, in order not to wake him up, and head to your bedroom. You set out a clean set of pajamas (the good fancy ones, because Ben’s here after all, and you’ll definitely look better in them than in your old sweat pants) and hop in the shower, happy to feel the warmth of the water on your skin. You close your eyes and try to focus to analyze the situation. It’s hard because you’re still feverish, and you feel groggy.

He’s here, you think to yourself, in awe. He came, only to take care of you. You shake your head as you realize how much he must care about you to have come all the way here. He could be anywhere, with anyone, and yet he decided to come to you. You nod your head as you take in the realization and try to calm your nerves. Once you’re done cleaning yourself, you step out of the shower, fold yourself into a towel and go brush your teeth, wanting to feel clean and fresh. You stare at your own reflection, unimpressed. What does he see in you? You simply don’t understand. He could have any woman, any beautiful actress in the industry, any gorgeous model, why does he waste his time with you? You shake your head, unable to comprehend what he sees in you. You step into your bedroom, put on a clean set of underwear before putting on your Pjs.

You tip toe in the living room again and turn off the TV screen. Ben shuffles in his sleep, sighing, and you lie down next to him. You could go back to your bed, but you can’t resist being so close to him. You’ve missed him so much these last few months, and your feelings for him are so strong. You reach for his hand and grab it softly, wanting to have a physical contact with him. He wakes up at the contact and your heart drops in your chest. He opens lazily his eyes, and they seem completely black in the dark.

“Hey” he whispers, smiling softly. “Feeling better?”

“A bit” you sigh back, your chest feeling horribly tight. You could kiss him, right here, right now. Nothing can stop you, except yourself.

“C’me here” he says, and he opens his arms. You don’t hesitate for a second, turning your back on him and snuggling close to him. He spoons you, holding you close, his arms around you. You close your eyes, thinking you’ve never been this happy before, and quickly fall asleep.

* * * * * * * * * *

You wake up to the smell of pancakes and sigh happily. You stretch on the couch and slowly open your eyes, trying to assess how you feel. You’re still a bit sore and your throat hurts, but you don’t feel feverish anymore. You look around you and Ben’s woken up, probably in the kitchen judging by the sounds coming from it. You quickly get up, panicked, and run to your bathroom. You assess the mess as you stare at yourself in the mirror, and decide to brush your teeth first. You brush your hair, put fresh water on your face and breathe evenly to calm yourself. You’re not thrilled by the way you look, but at least you look a little more human. You tip toe to the kitchen and you hear Ben singing, bringing a bright smile to your face.

You enter and he’s cooking pancakes, and you think to yourself that the man has no mercy for you. First, coming to take care of you while you’re sick, secondly, making you pancakes in the morning. How is he even real? You ask yourself. He spots you and stops singing:

“Morning sunshine, how are you feeling?” he asks, grinning.

“A little better, thank you”, you reply as you take a sit on the counter.

“Ahhh, finally some good news”, he says, grinning. How does he look so good? You ask yourself. The man’s slept in his clothes, hasn’t taken a shower yet and he looks like the most beautiful person in the world. You grind your teeth, annoyed by him.

“Did you sleep well?” you ask, blushing.

“Never better” he winks, and you blush even more.

“So, what about these big news you wanted to tell me?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. He slides a plate with pancakes and a cup of tea towards you, and you grab it eagerly.

“Well, I guess you haven’t heard since you were stuck in here with a fever” he starts, and he looks intently at you. “I’ve been nominated for best actor at the Venice Film Festival” he announces.

You choke on your tea and slide off the counter “Oh my God, Ben!!” you yell, and you jump at his neck to hug him, screaming with joy. He laughs as he catches you, and the two of you stand here for a while, hugging. Your breathing slows a bit and you step back “Congratulations” you say, looking up at his face, and the expression on his face makes you weak in the knees. There is tenderness, and a hunger, a want that makes you quiver.

“Thank you” he replies “I’d never had gotten there without you” he says as he puts a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You blush and turn over to grab your tea, before facing him again.

“I have something to ask you” he says, “a favor”.

“Anything, Ben” you say, smiling.

“By my guest at the film festival” he asks. “Come with me, please.”

You stop smiling and you feel sudden dread.

“Ben, I could neve-”

“I don’t want anyone else but you” he cuts you off “by my side, on this day. Please” he begs, and you get lost in his charcoal eyes, unable to resist him.

“Fine”, you sigh, and he grins widely.

“Thank you” he replies “I’ll send you the details” he winks, quoting back to you one of your favorite expressions. You blush again, feeling self conscious.

“I have to go” he says, “I’ll talk to you soon?” he adds, seeming hopeful.

“All right” you reply, still feeling weak in the knees. He steps closer to you, and he gently cups your face with both hands, before placing a light kiss on your forehead. He releases you and grabs his jacket. “Have a nice day” he says, winking, before leaving the kitchen.

You stare into the void as you hear your front door slamming, unable to process what just happened.

Part 8

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[pillage-and-lute]

(For next time you’re looking for prompts) I really like your writing, and when I thought of this I wondered what you’d do with it: Geralt and Jaskier are together, but agree to pretend not to be for their next stop. Maybe one of them wants to win an old bet, or Jaskier’s not 100% sure his betrothal to a local noble has been officially dissolved, whatever, (not homophobia), fluff and high jinx ensue. Anyway I hope something unexpectedly nice happens to you today.

Hi Dahliavandare! Thanks for the blessing in my inbox  🥰

This ran away from me, tons of backstory about Jaskier’s family. Just, way too much.

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“Geralt, darling,” Jaskier said hesitantly. “I have an errand we need to run, and I’m not sure you’ll like it.”

Geralt hummed noncommittally. They were resting at their camp outside of Hagge and the warm summer air and the feeling of Jaskier curled against him had lulled him into a warm, fuzzy stupor.

“You see,” Jaskier continued, fiddling with the buttons at his cuffs. “I’m a noble, and you know that of course.” He laughed awkwardly. “And I’ve been lucky enough to pawn most of those responsibilities off onto my much savvier sister, but there are certain niceties that landed families observe that--”

“Spit it out,” Geralt grumbled, although not bad naturedly. 

“I’m betrothed,” Jaskier said. “And we need to go to Gwendeith to break it off.”

Geralt turned to look at his beloved. “You’re engaged?”

“Betrothed!” Jaskier yelped, then saw Geralt’s expression. “Oh, dear heart, there’s a slight difference in meaning, especially to nobles. Engaged implies an intent to marry--”

“And betrothed doesn’t?”

“Well, sort of, but I’ve been betrothed practically since I was born, engaged would imply I’m sort of planning the wedding. It’s a contract, a social contract. My family and my betrothed’s are pretty minor nobles, so really it’s just a way of saying ‘maybe someday our kids could marry’. It isn’t the hard and fast marriage it might be if I were, say, a prince.”

“Then why do it?” Geralt asked. Most of the time he was happy to understand as little of the lives of the gentry as possible, but Jaskier was important.

“Honestly,” Jaskier sighed. “I think Papa arranged it because he cared for me, Mama too.”

“It takes away your choice,” Geralt began.

“It doesn’t. A betrothal like mine and... Iliana, that’s her name, only met her twice, it’s sort of social insurance. Especially for her, but for me as well. Nobles are supposed to marry, so, if at some point neither of us had found love we could marry one another. For Iliana there’s the security of having a husband, although from what I’ve heard she can handle herself fine, and for me its assurance of heirs if that sort of thing concerned me, and companionship for us both.”

It sounded...mostly sort of logical to Geralt.

“But I love you,” Jaskier said. “And I don’t want to be betrothed to anyone because I love you and, someday, whenever you get over you allergy to the concept of commitment, I’m going to put a ring on you.”

Geralt hummed gruffly but said nothing. There was a slim golden band hidden away in his bags and he be damned if Jaskier got to propose first.

“I will. Anyway, I need to tell Iliana. I’m sure she won’t mind. I met her once when I was seven and again when I was nineteen.”

“Nineteen, when?” Geralt asked. Most of Jaskier’s nineteenth year had been spent at Geralt’s side. Most of every year after that too.

“Just before I met you. I had travelled east to meet her originally, and was going back west when we met.”

“Tell me about her?”

“Illiana? Oh, well, she told me that she was fine leaving the betrothal in place because it’s standard, but that she doesn’t care for men in that way so she’d never give me heirs and would have my balls nailed above her door if I ever told her she had to.”

“Sounds like she’d get along with Yen.”

“I fear they’d take over the world,” Jaskier said. “Anyway, I told her no worries since, honestly, heirs just aren’t important to me. Then we agreed that when either of us found love we’d break the betrothal and that would be that.”

“Hmmm.”

“No, Geralt, tell me what that means. Is that a ‘okay, let’s go to Gwendeith’ hum? A ‘I’m angry that you’re betrothed’ hum?”

Geralt shifted to poke the fire. “It’s a ‘I think there’s more you need to tell me’ hum.”

“Ah,” Jaskier rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s the thing. We have to go in person because a letter would be rude, but also...we have to pretend not to be together, while we’re in Gwedeith.”

“Why?”

“It’s politics, dear heart. It would be shaming to Iliana, socially. Personally, I don’t think she’d care, but it’s a courtesy thing.”

“I don’t do a lot of lovey stuff anyway,” Geralt said. 

“You think you don’t,” Jaskier said. He began to unroll their bedroll.

“What do you mean, Jaskier?”

Jaskier turned to him, smiling indulgently and gilded in the firelight. “Our lives have molded around one another, my love. When I stand beside you your hand goes to my back or my shoulder. You order dinner for me because you know just what food I like. When I’m tired you don’t have to ask what’s wrong, you just lift me onto Roach behind you.”

Geralt hadn’t even realized he did, but he knew it was true. Jaskier leaned over and pressed a kiss to Geralt’s slightly furrowed brow.

“When my boots are wearing thin you buy me new ones before I even notice. When I’m cold you give me your cloak. If I fall asleep with my head on your shoulder you’d rather sit like that all night than disturb me.”

Geralt shrugged awkwardly. “You buy me beeswax,” he said. It seemed a fair retort. Jaskier bought him beeswax to put in his ears when cities or sometimes monsters were too loud for Geralt’s senses. “You only buy light scents, even though I know you like bolder perfumes.”

“Yes,” Jaskier said, taking one of Geralt’s large, scarred hands. “We love eachother very much, and it’s obvious to people who care to look.”

“That could be dangerous,” Geralt began, his head spiralling towards worry for Jaskier’s safety, but Jaskier cut him off.

“No, dear heart. It’s obvious to those who care to look. The sort of people who would hurt me for loving you, well, most of them think you can’t love, so they don’t look for love, and they don’t see.” 

Geralt sat back. People saw what they expected to see, it was true. 

“We’ll travel to Gwendeith,” he said. “And unbetroth you.”

Jaskier kissed him and his lips tasted like the jerky they’d eaten for supper.

-- -- -- -- -- --

The trip to Gwendeith was long. It was at the very edge of any map, past Posada to the east, tucked into the Blue mountains.  They traveled along the Dyfne river, taking the occasional contract but making good time. This far from anything, there were few people to be troubled by monsters. 

They stopped in Posada one night, eating dinner in the corner of a familiar tavern. This time, however, Jaskier was much better received and the bread ended up on the table rather than down his trousers.

Past Posada, and almost to the end of the Dyfne river, Geralt asked, “Why did your parents pick Iliana? How did they know of her?” Lettenhove was entirely the other side of the continent, a tiny island off the coast of Poviss with two villages and a couple flocks of sheep. 

Geralt only knew of it from Jaskier’s descriptions, which were mostly stories of the ice cold sea and rocky cliffs. He tended toward calling it ‘idyllic’ and ‘picturesque’ altough occassionally ‘the arse end of the world’ and ‘colder than an ice giant’s ballsack.’ The first time Geralt had taken Jaskier to Kaer Morhen he’d feared for his bard’s safety in the cold of the mountains, but Jaskier hadn’t even blinked an eye, merely bundling up in a hugely wooly cloak and mittens. 

“Ah, well,” Jaskier said. “Long story, but Papa was in Temeria, see, since nothing ever happens in Lettenhove, because we have more people than sheep, he get’s sent on diplomatic missions a lot. He’s good at it, and he can be spared. He loves it too, even though he’s sort of retired he still does them. Takes Ma, calls the trips his little “sunshine vacations”. 

“You get your personality from your father, then?” Geralt asked. Jaskier didn’t talk about his family much, and Geralt got the sense that, rather than this being because they were horrible, Jaskier simply missed them too much. 

“Definitely. Ma’s lovely, and brilliant with just everything to do with her hands, but she’s not good with people. I got her looks, though.”

“I should thank her, then,” Geralt said, smiling. 

Jaskier chuckled. “Yes, she’s the reason for the long lives, too, fantastic story.”

“Finish the one about your father and Gwendeith first.”

“Right, so Papa was in Temeria, and so was Iliana’s father, sort of the mayor of Gwendeith, as I understand, although not back then. He’d gotten robbed, though, and Papa had won a horse and quite a lot of gold in a card game. It might have been Gwent, I can’t remember. If you ever meet Papa you should ask him. Anyway, he gave the extra horse and gold to Iliana’s father.”

“So your betrothal was a debt?”

“Goodness, no. This was years before I was born, Papa hadn’t even met Ma yet. No, they struck up a friendship, because when Iliana’s father got home he had a mage send a message to Papa to thank him and they struck up a friendship.”

“Sending messages by mage? That’s expensive for a penpal.”

“Ah well, that actually ties in to the story about Ma. Ma’s got magic, just a little, she’s a hedge witch of a sort. The issue is, hedge witches mostly use plants, and Ma couldn’t grow grass, so she mostly works with wood. Anyway, she has a friend, her very best friend, is a mage. They grew up together, and my Auntie Szarlotta sent my Papa’s first few messages back to Iliana’s father.”

Geralt smiled atop Roach. Jaskier’s storytelling pace was as familiar as Roach’s saddle, and it was calming in a way. 

“So, Auntie was sending Papa’s message when Ma came in to visit. That’s how she met Papa, because she’d only just moved to Lettenhove. Auntie says it was love at first sight, but Papa insists that Ma turned up her nose and ignored him for months.”

“Which one is it?”

“Knowing Ma, probably both. She’s a little like you, so the second she realized she liked Papa she ignored him so she wouldn’t have to deal with it.”

Geralt huffed good-naturedly.

“Anyway, Auntie Szarlotta agreed to send Papa’s messages for free, and she even included a way for Iliana’s father to send them back, so long as he wrote his response on the back of the same paper. She always timed it though, so that Ma was over when Papa was there. And I guess the rest is history.”

“Except the immortality.”

“Right, well, Ma got really sick when she was pregnant with my sister, I was little so I barely remember but Papa was so worried, and Ma looked really pale. Well, Auntie got really worried, freaked out a little, and she found all these old spells to try to make Ma well again. I remeber the light, she was working in a room of the old lighthouse and I could see the light of her spells from my window. Anyway, eventually she tries some on Ma, but they don’t work, and she just keeps trying.”

Geralt had an image of a frantic sorceress being watched by a young Jaskier through a crack in a door. 

“But I suppose some of those old spells need a little time to work because nothing at all worked and then they all sort of worked at once. There was this big, bright light and then Ma was well, and she and Papa haven’t aged a day since then.”

Geralt glanced at his lover, who looked the same at fifty as he had at twenty. “And you don’t age? What about your sister?”

“Ksenia hasn’t aged either. She looks like Papa, just so you know, grey eyes, blonde hair. She’s got two kids, now, but I haven’t met them.”

“Do the kids age?”

“Right now they’re very young,” Jaskier said. “I didn’t stop aging until nineteen or twenty, so I suppose we’ll have to wait and see.”

“How do you know she has kids?”

“Oh, well, Auntie Szarlotta sends letters to me, but we travel and it’s hard to send them right to me, so I just pick them up at Oxenfurt.”

“Hmmm,” Geralt said. He needed to go to Lettenhove. Jaskier had met his sort-of-family, he should meet Jaskier’s. 

“I’d love to go see them...” Jaskier said, wistfully. 

“Who?”

“My niece and nephew, they’re almost two and three years old now.”

Geralt picked Jaskier up by the collar of his doublet and placed him onto the back of Roach. 

“We’ll spend the winter in Lettenhove this year,” he said as Jaskier wrapped his arms around Geralt’s waist.

“Really?”

“Hmmm.”

Geralt needed to ask Jaskier’s father for his hand in marriage, anyway.

-- -- -- -- -- -- 

They made it to Gwendeith just after mid summer, riding into the little town at noon. Despite the season, the little mountain valley was shaded and cool. Jaskier shivered slightly and Geralt had to resist the urge to pull his cloak from his pack. From that point forth, they weren’t supposed to be in love.

Fuck.

They had to request a meeting with the mayor, which didn’t surprise Geralt. In a town such as this, logging and mining were the main industries. Trading for food to last over the winter began early and was of the utmost importance. That left Geralt and Jaskier, unfortunately, sitting with a man who introduced himself as Sir Boris.

Apparently he was a retired knight who acted as a sort of captain of the guard, except there wasn’t much of a guard. His wife Lady Olenka joined them and the two of them talked about their grandchildren until Geralt could feel his eyes rolling back in his head. 

At any other time, Jaskier would have placed one gentle hand on his wrist, which would have fortified Geralt, but they couldn’t. 

“But you’re here for Iliana,” Sir Boris was saying. “Dreadfully sorry you can’t see her today, I’m afraid there’s been an issue with the lumber trade to sort out. You’ll just have to have my darling Lenka and I as company until that’s done.”

He sent a huge wink to his wife, a slim, elegant woman, who chuckled and playfully hit him on the shoulder, to which Sir Boris pretended to be wounded before throwing back his head and laughing hugely. Everything the old knight did was huge, he was a large man with a round, red face and large belly and a laugh that could shake walls. 

“It’s no trouble,” Jaskier said. “I’m sure preparing for winter is a year round project here.”

“Oh of course,” Lady Olenka said. “But once it’s here we can all relax, and spend time with family.” She leaned forward as if imparting a delightful secret and said in a stage-whisper, “Boris has been our town’s Father Winter for the last four years.”

Jaskier made impressed ‘ooh’ noises and Geralt tried to at least look like he understood that. 

Boris laughed again. “It’s this lot,” he said, slapping his round stomach. “Better than some old geezer with a pillow down his shirt, eh?”

Geralt hummed in agreement. 

“And you must make a lovely Mother Winter, Lady Olenka,” Jaskier said politely.

She smiled, lines crinkling around her eyes as if drawing a road map. “It’s not as important as Father Winter, of course, but I rather pride myself that I plan a very good Midwinter festival.” Geralt got the sense that behind the modesty she was quite proud, and, he suspected, with good reason.

“But, you must tell me,” she said, modestly changing the subject. “Is there to be a missus Pankratz, now that you’ve come to see Lady Iliana?”

“I am a man in love,” Jaskier said. “And I am hopeful that an engagement will come soon, yes.”

“Oh dearie that’s just lovely,” Lady Olenka said, patting Jaskier’s cheek. “And you’re such a nice boy too, little young looking to be betrothed to our Lady Iliana anyway, although she’s a very dear woman.”

“We just love her,” Sir Boris said. “She’s a great mayor, not keen on marriage, but nobody minds, she just seems to have adopted the whole town as family.”

Lady Olenka patted her husband’s broad shoulder. “It was smart of you not to bring your love here, though. There’s some nobles here from Lyria, that’s who she’s been trading with, and I think they’d like any excuse to disparage here.” She lowered her voice again. “You know how those lot are about having women in charge.”

“I can’t relate,” Sir Boris laughed. “Lenka’s the ruler in our house.” That got a laugh because it had to, and because Sir Boris’s laugh was surprisingly infectious. 

“Good on you bringing a bodyguard too,” he said once the laughter had abated. He slapped Geralt companionably on the back, which was like being hit by a friendly battering ram. “Witcher too, don’t get many up here, but I bet you’re the safest man in a hundred miles.”

“Oh, dear, don’t you know?” Lady Olenka said. “Lord Julian here is a bard as well, he goes by Jaskier and sings all about witchers.”

“Really?” Sir Boris said, looking at Jaskier. “Blimey, imagine that. Good on you, finding a niche in the market.”

Geralt’s ears were beginning to ache. Friendly though Sir Boris might be, he didn’t seem to have a volume level below ‘deafening’. He was tired and overwrought and he just wanted to cuddle up with Jaskier in a bed. It wasn’t even suppertime, though.

They sat through another hour of hearing about Boris and Olenka’s eighteen grandchildren. 

“And three great-grandchildren,” Boris added proudly.

Geralt was thankful Jaskier could carry the conversation. He longed for a kiss, though. Now that he knew he couldn’t have one, his lips fairly ached for one.

Supper was a large affair, with one of Boris and Olenka’s children’s family over for dinner as well. Geralt was seated across from Jaskier between two small children who, apparently, needed to be separated at dinertimes to prevent bickering. They contented themselves instead by asking Geralt every question they could think of, often making him wrack his brain for child appropriate answers.

It wasn’t just witchering questions, either. He answered such questions as “Why is the sky blue?” (Because it’s Melitele’s favorite color). Immediately before answering “How big are dragon scales?” (The small ones are like pebbles and the big ones are like shields.)

Jaskier smiled at him over his bowl of stew, eyes sparkling. Geralt loved children, and Jaskier loved seeing them adore Geralt.

“So, Lord Julian,” Boris and Olenka’s daughter began. “Your lady love, tell us about her?” She smiled Lady Olenka’s warm smile and Jaskier did a good show of seeming bashful. 

“My love is unlike any other,” he began. “And if you’ll pardon my saying so, I’m a poet, and so must wax poetic.”

“Wouldn’t settle for anything less, lad!” Boris bellowed cheefully.

“My darling has fair hair, like moonlight,” Jaskier said, and the table oohed appreciatively. Geralt felt his ears get hot.

“And eyes like summer,” the bard continued. “I could get lost in them. No eyes could compare.” Geralt kicked him under the table, but Olenka was sighing sympathetically.

“But of course,” Jaskier said slyly, my heart is best held by my love’s lips.”

Boris chuckled knowingly. “I’ll bet it is, my boy,” he said, winking. Olenka slapped his arm, but she was smiling. Geralt felt hot.

“I’m afraid, however that my lover is quite modest, and won’t appreciate me extolling too many virtues,” Jaskier finished. “So I must finish with, I love them very much, and it is for them alone that my heart beats.”

Therewith leaving every person at the table (those above the age of twelve, at least) with misty eyes, Jaskier helped Lady Olenka clean up supper. Geralt helped put the dishes away.

After dinner they were led back to the mayor’s house. “I’m afraid the negotiations don’t seem to be finished,” Lady Olenka said. “I had hoped they would be quick, but it seems not. If the issue wasn’t resolved today, I wouldn’t bet on them being resolved too early tomorrow, either. You two don’t have pressing business elsewhere?”

“No, my lady,” Jaskier said, although if they lingered too long they wouldn’t make it to Lettenhove for the winter, as it was, it would be close.

“I’m sure she’ll be able to see you soon,” the lady said. “Here’s your room, and Master Witcher, your room is just at the far end of the hall.”

She said goodnight and Geralt hoped she couldn’t see the slump of his shoulders.

Separate rooms.

Jaskier smiled ruefully at him and they parted for the night. Geralt’s bed was large and comfortable, with clean linens and feather pillows, but he barely got a wink of sleep.

-- -- -- -- -- --

The next morning found Jaskier and Geralt breakfasting in the tavern, owned, apparently, by another of Boris and Olenka’s grown children.

“Did you sleep well?” Jaskier whispered over a plate of sausage and eggs.

“Fine,” Geralt grunted.

“I couldn’t sleep a wink,” Jaskier said. “Want my last piece of bacon? I’m stuffed.”

Geralt took it gratefully, slipping Jaskier his fried slice as a trade. No matter how Jaskier protested that he was stuffed, he always had room for a fried slice.”

“Terrible woman,” said a nasal voice at the next table. “Just impossible to do business with.”

“I agree, overemotional, you know how they get,” agreed another voice. Jaskier made eye contact with Geralt. The accent was Lyrian.

“Not even married,” said the first speaker. “What a disgrace. If my daughter got to her age without children I’d just die of shame.”

Geralt pitied his daughter.

“Oh of course,” said the second man. “Attractive, though, for an old maid.”

The first man snickered cruelly. “Thinking a little wooing might soften her up?”

“It always does, women like that, they’re just angry because they haven’t found a man.”

“Won’t your wife mind?”

“Are you going to tell her?” Both men laughed unpleasantly.

A serving girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen, came around the tables, presumably one of Sir Boris’ many granddaughters. She took their plates onto a tray and smiled when Jaskier slipped a few coins onto the tray as a tip.

At the next table  one of the Lyrian’s snapped their fingers impatiently. The girl rolled her eyes. Geralt was pleased to see that, although she served him professionally, as she walked away she ‘accidentally’ tread on his foot.

“What pathetic pieces of shit, the pair of them,” Jaskier said as they stepped out into the sunlight. 

“Hmmm,” Geralt agreed. Then he looked around quickly and pulled Jaskier into an alleyway, urging the bard deeper into the shadows. 

“What? Geralt di-”

Geralt smushed his lips gracelessly to Jaskier’s, crowding him up against the wall. Jaskier’s hair between his fingers was so familiar and comforting, as was the little sigh Jaskier let out.

They pulled apart and Geralt rested his forehead against Jaskier’s. “That’ll tide me over for a while,” he whispered. Jaskier smiled.

“Are you master Julian?”

The pair sprang apart, looking in alarm at the red headed boy at the far end of the alley. 

“Yes...?” Jaskier said.

“Only, Pa said to come find you, and he said you’d be with a big man dressed all in black.”

“And you found us here?” Jaskier asked.

“Didn’t know you’d be here, did I?” Said the boy, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets. “It’s the shortcut through to the tavern, but then, I figured he’s the only big man in black around.”

Geralt inclined his head, feeling his ears go hot.

“Lady Iliana has time to see you now,” the boy continued, oblivious to the awkwardness. 

“By all means...lead the way,” said Jaskier.

They were led out of the alley and back to the mayor’s house by the messenger boy.

“Out of curiosity,” Jaskier asked. “Is your grandad Sir Boris?” 

“Yeah, that’s him,” said the lad. “He made me a toy sword for my tenth birthday too.” He pointed proudly to the wooden sword tied at his hip with some string.

“It makes you look a proper hero,” Jaskier said. Then he pulled out his coin purse. “A copper for bringing us the message and...another to not tell anyone what you saw.”

The boy looked between the two of them shrewdly.

“Not even my best friend? I tell Mikhail everything.”

“Not until Geralt and I have left.”

“Three coppers total,” the boy said promptly. Jaskier handed them over good naturedly and the boy flashed a gap toothed grin before taking off.

Geralt and Jaskier shrugged at each other, before finding their way to the main room of the mayor’s house. A broad shouldered woman of about fifty poked her head out of a door.

“Julian?”

Geralt and Jaskier went inside.

“You look well,” Iliana said, sitting behind a large desk and gesturing to a couple chairs. “You havent’ aged a day.”

“And you look as lovely as I remember,” Jaskier said.

“Flirt. Come to ask me for heirs?”

Jaskier shuddered. “No, my lady. I remember your threat well. I think you know why I’m here.”

The two Lyrians barged through the door. 

“Did I ask you to enter?” Iliana said, coldly. Geralt felt an unusual curl of fear set up in his stomach, she was a distinctly fearsome woman.

“Well,” said the first Lyrian.

“You were so beautiful, I couldn’t wait on seeing you again,” said the second, slimily.

“Oh I say!,” Iliana said, standing. She placed her hand over her chest in a delicately offended way, which was ill suited to her. “You sir are too bold, and in front of my betrothed too!”

The Lyrians looked, panicked, at the people sat in the chairs. As Geralt was seated in the chair nearest the door, and therefore nearest them, they came to the wrong conclusion. The blood drained from both their faces.

“What an insult!” Iliana continued. “You should be ashamed! What a lack of diplomacy!” 

Beside Geralt, Jaskier snickered. She was laying it on a little thick. 

“Why,” she continued. “I ought to write to your king! I’ve never been so insulted. And I’m sure my beloved will want to sort out this insult too.” She fluttered her lashes at Geralt. 

Geralt nearly jumped out of his seat, but thankfully his brain caught up. He stood, growling a little theatrically and placed one hand on the hilt of his steel sword.

“Our apologies my lady,” the first man said hurriedly.

“Our mistake, we’ll just--” they dissappeared out the door.

“What a fearsome couple,” Geralt heard whispered as the door swung shut.

Iliana sighed satisfactedly and kicked her feet up on her desk. “It seems I should thank you,” she said. “That is going to make negotiations much easier.”

“I’m sure you always get good deals,” Jaskier said.

“Yes. I get the deals I want.”

“You know why I’m here,” Jaskier said.

“Yes.”

“Do you agree?”

“To disolve the betrothal? Of course. Never found a lover for myself so I never bothered but, well, I just don’t do romance.”

“Some people don’t,” Geralt said, thinking of Eskel.”

“Indeed,” Iliana said, smiling warmly at him. “Not all of us have a soulmate to sing us songs.” She laughed at their surprised faces. 

“Oh you fooled them, and you may have fooled Boris and Olenka, but I’ve heard your songs, Julian. It’s written right into everything you do.”

She began rummaging in one of the drawers in the desk. “I don’t mind, of course. So few people know we’re actually betrothed...there it is.” She pulled out an old piece of paper. “I’ll just rip it up if that’s fine by you. You’ll have to do the same to yours of course.”

“We’re going to Lettenhove this winter,” Jaskier said. “I’ll do it as soon as I find it.”

Iliana smiled again. “Father always did say that your dad had a horrible filing system.”

“He filed all his papers on the floor, yes, although I imagine my sister is neater.”

Iliana tore the paper in half without ceremony and placed the contract in the waste paper bin. “Lettenhove is very far away, Julian, will you get there in time?”

Jaskier glanced at Geralt. 

“I don’t know,” Geralt said.

“No matter,” said Iliana. She began writing something on a new sheet of paper. “Our logging teams float lumber all down the Dyfne and Pontar rivers. Show this to the dockmaster at the tip of the Dyfne and our riverboat captains can get you to Novigrad.” 

She pulled out another sheet of paper. “Once you’re in Novigrad, show this to the harbormaster and he’ll get you to Lettenhove.” She looked at their shocked faces and smiled. “Our lumber is the best, and it’s used in everything, including ships. I’m willing to cash in a favor in order to get rid of a useless betrothal.”

“Thank you, my lady,” Jaskier said bowing deeply. “I’ll have my Aunt Szarlotta send a message once our betrothal is fully extant.”

Iliana stood and shook his hand. “I’d appreciate that.”

“Our fathers were penpals,” Jaskier said. “Perhaps we should keep up the tradition?” 

The mayor inclined her head. “I’d like that. I may be too busy to write often.”

Jaskier waved a hand. “I can only pick up messages when I pass through Oxenfurt, but I like to make friends with powerful people.” 

The two of them shared a smile.

“Not to rush you out my door,” Iliana said. “But I do have a lot to do, winter comes early up here, and I know it does as well in Lettenhove. even with my help, you two should leave soon.”

Geralt and Jaskier left that afternoon, just after a hearty meal at the tavern.

-- -- -- -- -- --

Across the continent and some weeks later, Jaskier and Geralt stepped onto the docks in Novigrad.

“I don’t think Roach liked the river boats,” Jaskier said as Geralt led her off. Roach whinnied and shook her mane emphatically.

“Sorry, girl,” Geralt said. “You’ll have another long boat journey, and this time I doubt we’ll stop so you can run about on land.”

“Nah,” Jaskier said, as they walked toward a tavern for supper. “Boats from Novigrad to Lettenhove stop around the coast on the way, she’ll get plenty of exercise. It’s something to do with the currents.”

He petted Roach’s muzzle softly as they stabled her at the inn beside the tavern and Geralt felt his heart go out to his bard. Jaskier cared so much for Roach. Geralt thought again of the gold band in his pack.

“C’mon,” he said. “Let’s eat.”

-- -- -- -- -- --

Slightly more than a month later, after a slow, coastal boat journey, and then another between Inis Porhoest and Lettenhove, Geralt, Jaskier, and their faithful horse, stepped off the final boat.

“Welcome home, Master Julian,” said a fisherman on the dock.

“Does everyone here know you?” Geralt asked.

“Pretty much, there’s only about three hundred people here.”

News spread fast among three hundred people and Jaskier and Geralt were greeted enthusiastically at the door to the very small castle. A blonde woman who could only be Ksenia, Jaskier’s sister, flung her arms around him, and withing a moment Geralt was being gathered into the hug by a slightly older looking couple.

“Julek,” said the blonde man, pulling back. “My boy, you’re home, and you brought this stunning man, wow, what a looker.” 

“Papa, don’t be embarrassing,” Jaskier said. Geralt flushed clear to the roots of his hair. Apparently when Jaskier said he had his father’s personality he meant all of his father’s personality.

They had dinner as a family, including Jaskier’s niece and nephew, Cecylia and Prot. They had questions for Geralt, and he was grateful for the practice he’d had in Gwendeith. It was an enjoyable meal over all, and afterward Jaskier was distracted by his Aunt Szarlotta while Geralt slipped away to ask Mr. Pankratz a very important question.

The two of them returned to the main hall to see Jaskier pretending to be a dragon, while Cecylia and Prot bravely fought him with butterknives, but he straightened up when he saw the look on Geralt’s face.

Geralt took his hand and Jaskier squeezed it three times, it was their code, asking if Geralt needed to go somewhere that wasn’t so hard on his senses. Geralt smiled and shook his head, swallowing nervously around the lump in his throat.

He got down on one knee and pulled out the gold band. “I’m...I’m not good with words.” Geralt swallowed again, wishing he could borrow Jaskier’s eloquence for five minutes or so. “Marry me?”

The words were barely out from his mouth before Jaskier was tackling him to the ground, pressing kisses all over his face.

“Oh Geralt!” he said. “Wait--”

Jaskier looked up at his mother, who smiled and was handed a paper by his Aunt Szarlotta. Mrs. Pankratz ripped the betrothal contract in half.

“Yes,” Jaskier said, laughing. “I will marry you!”

Then they kissed on the chilly stone floor.

-- -- -- -- -- --

Dear Lady Iliana, Mayor of Gwendeith

The former contract has been voided. 

Szarlotta of Lettenhove

P.S. Geralt and Jaskier are engaged and send their love.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Holy Cow. 5603 words. I...I don’t even know what to say. I hope you like it.

[theramseyloft]

After Ankhou died, I have had a very hard time keeping up with both manual loft maintenance and media work.

Manual loft maintenance is the higher priority of the two, so that's were the energy I have has been focused.

The birds are happy, but I have failed to advertise availability for two months.

The birds currently available do not meet the specifications of anyone on my wait list, and to prevent the loft from getting crowded, we've frozen rescue intake and implemented strict hatch control.

Breeding pairs on the roster are only permitted to hatch their first clutch with another bird also on the roster.

Every subsequent clutch will be swapped with fakes at least until all currently available cocks go home.

As I am not caught up on editing photos yet, I will have to make due with listing the name, parents, and temperament of available birds.

Please message me privately, email theramseyloft@gmail.com, or call/text 706-993-7452 for more information.

1. Raddish

Mia x Cara

Retired. ($20)

Was friendly as a young bird, but has not had the opportunity to express temperament in Qt.

Not to be bred under any circumstance due to one known and a second possible cancer in his blood line.

2. Wukong

Blue Check Chinese Owl cock

Loft Bird $30.

Wukong is an excellent father that will definitely benefit a breeding program.

He's very human shy, unless his mate isn't.

Chances of him bonding with a patient person that will let him make friends at his own pace are decent, but I can't guarantee it in good conscience.

3. Farthing

Pied Almond Blue T-pattern het for Toy Stencil mixed cock.

Betty x Hagrid

Comfortable ($50)

A bit of a himbo, Farthing is one of our better known cocks.

He likes people and often gets in my lap or on my shoulder, when not distracted by being the loft bi-cycle.

He's pretty and sweet, but Giant Homer and Frillback ancestry make him a big boy with long flights and tail feathers that will need a lot of room.

4. Leela

Khaki T-pattern mixed hen

Cody x Rigby

Comfortable ($50)

Leela is a mellow little sweety that likes my lap and shoulders.

She's a great pumper, but chain lays and starts a new clutch INCREDIBLY early! Leaving nestlings well fed, but largely unguarded.

5. Todoroki

Tippler

Sooty Ash Red Bar cock

Rescue ($20)

Todoroki is an EXTREMELY high energy breed that will need a LOT of space to free fly most of the time.

He would be happier in a loft than as an indoor pet.

6. Amiga

Blue T-pattern mix hen

Pippin x Cookie

Retired ($20)

Amiga is going to be a pain.

She hates people to the point of trying to break herself to get away from them, and she cannot under any circumstance be allowed to hatch an egg.

She provides her own hatch control by nest cup dancing on her hatchlings. She has been given two chances to hatch clutches, and eviscerated all three peeps this way.

So she will need to be housed in a loft with minimal interaction other than obsessively switching her eggs with fakes.

7. Dolly

Blue Bar mixed hen

Pippin x Cookie

Loft Bird ($30)

Dolly is her sister Amiga's opposite in almost every way.

She's only retired from my program because she's the hen on the roster that likes people the least.

She is an amazing, devoted mother and would make a fantastic foster hen.

8. Wess

Blue tailmark mixed cock

Wukong x Suki

Curious ($40)

Wess is shy and dislikes being approached directly, but often chills nearby preening my clothing and occasionally hops up on my knee.

He is a TERRIBLE dad! It took him two weeks to start helping Dolly feed their nestlings and never sat on them when they were little enough to need it.

9. Arco

Pied Ash Red T-pattern mixed cock

Vito x Cookie

Loft Bird ($30)

Arco is uninterested in people, but not afraid of them.

He'd be a good partner for a nervous rescue bird, or an absolutely amazing foster dad!

He's devoted to his mate and her nest and doesn't start shit with flock mates once he's settled.

10. Bridget

Blue T-pattern feral cock

Rescue ($20)

This is the boy we found with a broken wing and foot on the sidewalk under an overpass.

He's healed entirely and though flighty and skittish, gets along very well with his flockmates.

Like Arco, he takes a mate, picks a nest, settles, and doesn't start shit.

He'd make an excellent foster or partner for a skittish rescue.

11. Scan

Pied ash red cock

Cherub x Tandy

Loft Bird ($30)

Scan is Cherub and Tandy's first hatch.

I was initially going to keep him, but his brother, Nimbus, has a better temperament.

Scan is a flamboyantly aggressive pain in the ass, constantly starting shit with established pairs to earn himself a spot in the hierarchy.

He'd likely mellow out with fewer birds, but isn't interested in being social with me, so I don't think he'd be the best house pet.

12. Acer

Ash Red T-pattern mixed cock

Pippin x Cookie

Loft Bird ($30)

Acer's classification as a loft bird is maintained by technicality.

He has to come in after repeatedly attacking nestlings.

If he does it again with different ones when he goes out on Thursday, his status will be changed to Retired foe unusually severe aggression.

This seems to be a pattern developing in the Pippin x Cookie line...

Which is going to make the birds afflicted hard to place.

13. Bell

Blue T-pattern mixed hen

Pippin x Cookie

Loft Bird ($30)

Bell is the same intense degree of skittish as the rest of her siblings, but gets along well with her flock mates.

She has the best chance of them of being ok as a house bird, but she'd honestly be happiest either in a loft or with a bird friend.

14. Rusty

Pied Ash Red T-pattern mixed cock

Ginger x Danica

Curious ($40)

Rusty is an energetic boy with places to be and stuff to explore!

He occasionally lands on my shoulder or head, or hops briefly up into my lap

He isn't afraid of people, but not liking to hold still makes him hard to interact with.

He's very fun to watch, though, and would be a good match for any one who wanted an independent bird.

15. Checkers

Pied blue check mixed cock

Ginger x Danica

Loft Bird ($30)

Checkers is less interested in people than his brother, Rusty.

He's energetic, gorgeous, and fun to watch, and would make a lovely addition to a pet loft.

He probably wouldn't enjoy being a house bird unless he had a hen to interact with.

He's very combative with other cocks, and has not yet learned the virtue of "Don't start none, won't be none."

16. Frieda

Khaki tailmark mixed hen

Wukong x Suki

Comfortable ($50)

Frieda, though not super outgoing, is friendly in spite of her shyness.

She often gets up in my lap to loaf, but doesn't like being reached for, even with treats.

If you just want warm, quiet company while you read, watch videos, or do desk work, she'll be an excellent match for you.

17. Berry

Pied blue bar hen

Cherub x Tandy

Loft Bird ($30)

Berry is not remotely interested in hanging out with me. She isn't even curious.

She's not afraid by any stretch, she just would rather do literally anything but interact with me.

With lots of enrichment or another bird, she could be ok inside, or she'd make a pretty loft bird.

18. Shinobi

Black pied mixed hen

Leonard x Elliot

Comfortable ($50)

Like most of her siblings, Shinobi is friendly and interested in people, but too energetic to really hold still for long.

She is sweet and polite about taking treats when she feels like it.

She'd be quite happy as a house bird with lots of flight time.

19. Mote

Blue check mixed hen

Wukong x Suki

Curious ($40)

Mote is shy and reserved, but mostly seems overwhelmed by how many of her older and younger flockmates want to be in my lap or on my shoulders at any given time.

When my lap is free, she will usually hop up unto it and loaf for a bit.

She has a good chance of coming out of her shell as a house pet.

20. Tye

Pied tiger grizzle ash red cock

Ginger x Danica

Loft Bird ($30)

Tye is a drop dead gorgeous little man, the spit'n image of his father, Ginger.

He's not afraid of people, but literally everything else is more interesting.

Being a roller and tumbler mix, he's a delightfully acrobatic flier who is a joy to watch.

He'd be a striking addition to a pet loft, or, with enough enrichment or a friend provided, a great addition to a household.

21. Slate

Dirty, smoky blue bar mixed hen.

Satin x Chiffon

Interactive ($60)

Slate's brother, Cotta, is my new therapy prospect.

Slate is mellow and sweet tempered, happily accepts treats, and occasionally tries to play with my fingers like she would a stick.

She's quite happy to loaf in my lap and occasionally lets me stroke her little neck with a fingertip.

22. Flint

Blue check mixed cock

Nobu x Leela

Comfortable ($50)

Flint is a sweet little man that has started jumping into my lap at every opportunity, and often flailing his way up to loaf on my chest.

He accepts treats politely when he feels like it, but doesn't try to play with me yet.

I told y'all there were a TON of birds available. XD

I'll do my best to update this post as there are updates to make, but 22 is WAY more birds ready for homes than I'm really ok with having, especially with winter on the way.

It's my own fault for failing to advertise that they were available as soon as they became available.

Now I'm just going to have to wait before I can do any more rescue work or hatch peeps out for the people on my wait list.

Back to playing catch up...

[lordprophet]

Go Away Demagogue-Rabble Rouser

Demagogue-Rabble Rouser

Go Away

Mischief-Maker

Demagogue-Rabble Rouser:

Unite and fight

the demagoguers.

Don’t let them

divide and conquer.

Don’t let them

sow strife

and rancor.                                      

They are rift

and phobia mongers.

They are questors

without honor,

loyal to only

themselves

and power.

Copyright C/O alias LordProphet on Reddit

(The aforementioned is in regard to dishonest, mendacious, demagogic Donald Trump and J.D. Vance and their insurrectionist, anti-US Constitution, anti-democracy, neo-Confederacy, neo-Nazi, heretical-oxymoronic-Christian-nationalist MAGA-mob cult. 

A demagogue is a person, or plural of such, who uses inflammatory language and actions to socially demonize, and stoke fear, phobia, hysteria and animosity toward and against, different or outsider others as well as to scapegoat another or others -- in effect, undertaking or campaigning to poison minds collectively against them and socially and politically enemyize, disfavor and marginalize them -- so as thereby to exercise and gain or secure [mass, or populist, chauvinist] influence and power.  Ultimately, power is control, which when possessed by a demagogue is disposed to become abused and unaccountable control.

Mouse click on the following hyperlink to see and read a relevant news article to the above-given definition and description: https://www.newser.com/story/358263/report-trump-called-slain-us-soldier-a-f-ing-mexican.html?utm_source=referral&utm_medium=uol&utm_campaign=rss_top . This article also reveals that when Donald Trump was US president, he once remarked to his chief of staff retired US general John Kelly that he needed [Nazi] generals like [Nazi Der Fuhrer] Hitler had [in WWII]. The democratic Bill of Rights Constitutional Republic of the United States of America needs the kind of generals, including such as recently retired, former US Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Mark Milley of our time, and armed forces that the USA and then US President Franklin D. Roosevelt had against and who and which thoroughly defeated Nazi-nation state dictator Adolph Hitler's generals and military, which a US President Kamala Harris (unlike a subversive and traitorous, NAZI-sympathizer Donald Trump) would opt for and have for the USA.

Christianity was an almost entirely pacifist, altruist-love practicing and proselytizing branch (the New Testament) of Judaism founded by Jesus the Messiah and based on his teachings, way of life and the dictums of his afterlife appearances to particularly his apostles Peter and John, of altruistic love, caring mutuality and fellowship among all peoples, all tongues and nations (even in apostle John’s bleak chapter Revelations of the New Testament, Jesus admonishes that those whose names will be written into the book of life (to have heavenly eternal life) will be based on their good deeds).  Initially, it was, after the death of Jesus by crucifixion, the Apostolic Universal (Catholic) Church, until it later became the adopted [institutional] religion of the Roman Empire under Roman Emperor Constantine the Great, after which time it became the Roman Catholic Church.  Protestant and Eastern Orthodox Christianity branched from Roman Catholicism -- Eastern Orthodox Christianity, including Greek, Coptic, Russian, etc., branched from it long before Protestantism.  At root and fundamentally, [true] Christianity has nothing to do with racial, ethnic or other demographic identity and supremacy nor with provincialism or nationalism of any kind, which are all antithetical to true Christianity.  Christianity originated in the Middle East and first spread to Asia Minor, Ionia and Greece, West Asia, Egypt and Ethiopia, not necessarily strictly in that order.

Islam became the predominate religion of these geographies, except for Greece and Ethiopia, as a result of the Arab military conquest of them, and other geographies, following the death of the de-facto first caliph of Islam and Islamic Arabia the Prophet Muhammad, 571 to 632 CE, the founder of Islam and a military conqueror and unifier of Arabia in the decades following the death of his wealthy-merchant, well-educated and highly religious first wife Kadijah bint Khuwaylid, 554 to 619 CE, 17 years older than him and his employer, of a wealthy and powerful merchant Arabian nuclear family and extended family.  The Prophet Muhammad left behind himself in life upon his death, as its until then leader, one of the most well equipped, trained, battle-seasoned and powerful of armies in the world.  Arabia itself was a province of the western division of the Roman Empire before the fall of the hegemony of the once-mighty western division of the Roman Empire, and its armed forces were well trained and armed by the Roman military long before the birth of the Prophet Muhammad. Furthermore, its armed forces were considered formidable by their Roman political-military overlords.   But after the fall of rulership jurisdiction of the said Roman Empire, there was infighting within and among the armed forces and warlords of Arabia, until the growing and growingly successful armed forces of the Prophet Muhammad eventually conquered and unified them all under his command and authority, with the political and probable financial help of the family clan of his deceased first wife into which she was born.

[j-ungkooky]

Temptation (Taehyung)

Ceo Au! Suggestive smut (he’s crouched under ur desk and :)) (smut will be in future chapters) Angst (later) 3181 Words Chapter 1. 

“Good morning.” Taehyung simply greeted before disappearing into his office. 

It was enough to get all the women in the lobby immediately shooting each other knowing glances because not only was Taehyung the company’s CEO, but he was a very handsome one at that too. His polite demeanour and respectful nature only contributed to his desirability. Due to everyone’s unanimous acknowledgement of Taehyung’s appeal, there seemed to always be some sort of competition for his attention. Whether it was to drop something off for him in his office or offer him leftover donuts, his deep voice thanking you followed by his infectious smile was all worth it. Taehyung being new to the company only made the competition over him more fierce. He had taken over the position from a now old and retired gentleman and because he had no idea what the personality of each individual in the office was truly like, it was all fair game. 

She definitely would’ve been lying if she said she didn’t have some sort of crush on Taehyung but it was all physical and surface level. He was her boss after all and she only saw him for a few minutes each day. They’ve barely exchanged more than a handful of words to each other in the month of his takeover.  

“Jesus...did you see his arms? They’re suffocating in that button up.” Jisoo, her colleague commented. 

“You’re drooling,” she teased, “besides, you should be worrying about your meeting today and not about whether or not blood is circulating through his arms.” 

Jisoo scoffed and pushed herself off of the reception desk. 

“Don’t remind me,” Jisoo groaned, “it doesn’t help that Taehyung’s going to be sitting in for that meeting too. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through anything without puking.” 

The two of them continued to talk and catch each other up on what they did over the weekend before Jisoo eventually had to go back to her desk. She watched as her colleague walked away and felt a twinge of jealousy within herself. For someone like Jisoo to get nervous despite being pretty, charismatic and the office favourite was a slap to her self esteem. Jisoo also held a high position within the HR department while she was just a measly receptionist. She definitely wasn’t going to stay in this position forever but the job paid well and would suffice for now. 

As the clock inched closer to everyone’s starting time, the lobby began clearing up as people went to their respected department. After a few minutes, she was left alone to man the front all by herself. She stared at the closed office doors surrounding her and felt another pang of envy in her heart knowing that people behind those doors were doing far more important work than her. Her days consisted of sorting through mail, sending emails, transferring calls and light house duties. She tried to convince herself that it wasn’t all bad because at least she could surf the internet whenever she wanted without anyone monitoring her. Her eyes traveled towards Taehyung’s door and she wondered how he was adjusting to everything before an email notification needed her attention. 

With it being Monday and the meeting Jisoo was talking about earlier being held today, it was quite busy. She usually had an hour of free time before her lunch break but the emails had been nonstop. People kept revising their forms and asking her to print out multiple copies of the revised papers to the point where the printer just stopped working altogether for a scary moment. With it being so busy, she decided to stay at her desk for lunch today. She was buried so deep in her computer work that Taehyung’s presence had gone unnoticed. He needed a break from staring at his screen all day and decided to go explore the office. In the month that Taehyung transferred over, he had no time to go around introducing himself or making himself familiar with the space. His decision to finally become accustomed to his environment brought him in front of her desk. The unusually loud crinkling from the untouched candy jar she left out for everyone broke her focus. She looked up to see her boss struggling with how small the jar was. 

“Do...do you need help?” she finally asked.

Up close, Taehyung’s visuals had her feeling shy and flustered like a high school girl sitting next to their crush. Taehyung seemed just as surprised to hear her voice as his movements came to a halt and he pulled his hand out of the candy jar sheepishly. 

“Sorry,” he apologized while rubbing the back of his neck, “I realized I must’ve looked really stupid.” 

She waved his doubts away and took the jar from him. She tried her very best to seem unfazed and collected but the red tint in her cheeks and her inability to stop smiling so wide probably gave her away.

“The um...” Taehyung cleared his throat before continuing, “the watermelon flavour please.” 

After a few seconds of sifting through the numerous options, she found the one he wanted. Taehyung opened his hand and she almost laughed at how tiny the candy looked in his gigantic palm. Her amusement didn’t stop at his physicality but shifted towards his entire personality. When she first met Taehyung, she was beyond intimidated. She couldn’t look at him for too long without feeling like he was looking right through her. Taehyung carried himself with an air of confidence and always had an answer for everyone, as expected of a competent CEO. She wasn’t nervous around him because he was scary but because his presence was so large and full while she was so small compared to him. But having him stand before her enjoying a piece of watermelon flavoured candy with an innocent smile on his face was just so...unexpected. 

“Is this your lunch break?” Taehyung asked noticing her untouched sandwich sitting beside her keyboard. 

She looked where he was and let out a forced laugh at her pathetic set up.

“Yeah I didn’t have time to properly take a break today.” she explained. 

The reason she was eating at her desk suddenly occurred to her and her eyes traveled over to her inbox which was now at double digits. With only an hour before the big meeting today, she was already behind despite only talking to Taehyung for five minutes. 

“Sorry Taehyung I have to get back to work,” she sighed running a hand through her hair, “is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked looking at him for a quick second before going back to her monitor. 

Taehyung watched as she worked and wondered if this was the kind of work culture he wanted to uphold. He didn’t like that she didn’t take a break and was going unnoticed for her extra work. Perhaps he’d talk to HR and accounting later to avoid situations like this from happening again. Taehyung drummed his fingers against his her desk and sucked his teeth. 

“Nope, nothing else you can do for me!” he smiled, “Thank you for your hard work but please make sure to take a proper break next time. I’m going to the coffee room to take a breather myself.” 

She looked up to thank him out of courtesy and he surprised her by thanking her once more and using her name. He grabbed a few more pieces of candy before going on his way. 

“Hey Taehyung!” she called, leaning over her desk. 

He turned his head with a raised brow. 

“If you’re still going to the break room, it’s the other way.” she informed him. 

Taehyung turned around on his heel and began walking hastily in the correct direction with bashful smile on his face. 

“What an interesting guy.” she thought while laughing to herself. 

________________________________________________

The hour leading up to the big meeting didn’t get any easier as her inbox continued to flood with people requesting numerous things from her. She was finally able to breathe when the meeting started and people stopped demanding her assistance. Jisoo had come up earlier asking for words of encouragement before Taehyung emerged from his office. She watched in awe at how effortless Jisoo made it look cracking jokes with Taehyung and drawing out deep belly laughs from him. She cringed at how awkward she must’ve been with Taehyung earlier and refused to look at him when he walked by; not that he would’ve noticed anyway as Jisoo had his full attention. She made an early new years resolution to be more like her follow coworker in the coming year. 

Despite the craziness earlier, she was already bored browsing through the same pages for the past 40 minutes. The meeting seemed to be going well as no one left the boardroom to ask her to do anything. With her sanity hanging onto Pinterest boards, she welcomed the delivery man with a gigantic smile and lively greeting. 

“Big one today.” the delivery man commented while slapping the stacks of boxes on his trolley. 

She took a look around her desk to see if there was any available space to put the packages but to no avail. 

“You can just leave them there.” she said and began rolling up her sleeves. 

“You sure?” the man asked, “these are quite heavy.” 

She reassured him by telling him that she deals with deliveries every Monday and that this was no different to prior ones. She bid the delivery man farewell as he disappeared through the elevator doors with the same concerned face that never left during their entire interaction. 

"Finally something to do.” she thought and with that, began working on the boxes. 

Taehyung struggled to keep his eyes open during the meeting. He opted to rest his chin on his hand and pretend to take notes when in reality, his eyes were closed and he was drawing random shapes in his notepad. From the moment he received emails outlining what the meeting entailed, he knew it meant absolutely nothing to him. He didn’t actually know why he agreed to be a part of it but he was definitely regretting his decision to do so. Taehyung had a long list of tasks to fulfill especially since he was only a month onboard this company and this meeting was wasting his time. Wanting to make a good impression on his employees, Taehyung tried really hard to pay attention but he simply could not trick himself into caring as the minutes ticked by. He racked his brain on ways to escape and took a deep breath before pursuing his liberation. Taehyung looked at his apple watch and feigned surprise at a non-existent message on it. 

“Everyone, I apologize for leaving so suddenly but there is an issue I have to attend.” he announced while getting up from his seat. 

He uttered a few more apologies before leaving the boardroom and closing the door. It wasn’t until he was out in the hallway by himself that he suddenly felt incredibly foolish over how easy it was to leave. He sat in that godforsaken room for almost an hour thinking of ways to flee and that was all it took. Pinching the bridge of his nose and inhaling a sharp breath, Taehyung made his way back to his office. 

“Holy shit! What is in here?!” she groaned struggling to lift more boxes from within the delivery boxes.  

In the span of an hour, she was still working on one of the four boxes delivered. Perhaps she should’ve listened to the delivery man earlier but her pride got in the way. It didn’t help that the skirt she was wearing today was a lot shorter than her usual choices but all her work clothes were currently in the wash as she simply could not be bothered to do laundry over the weekend. Every time she lifted something up, she had to immediately place the item somewhere so she could pull her skirt down or she’d accidentally flash the office. 

She attempted to set one box down on her desk and winced when it slipped from her fingers and landed on the floor with a heavy thud. She waited a few seconds to see if anyone came out to figure out what the noise was and breathed a sigh of relief when the office remained undisturbed.

“Better than aimlessly scrolling through Instagram.” she thought before bending over to pick up anything that fell out. 

“Do you need help?” a familiar voice called out. 

She jumped in her shoes and proceeded to drop everything from her arms. She snapped her body up to see who it was and surprising her again for the second time today, Taehyung was standing in front of her desk with a curious look on his face. 

“I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that,” he apologized profusely as he made his way behind her desk, “please let me help you!” 

It took her a beat to register her appearance and she quickly pulled down her skirt that was riding up way too close to her crotch. She smoothed her hair before attempting to stop Taehyung from doing anything. 

“No, no don’t worry!” she laughed as he held up the items out of her reach. 

“If you want it then you have to grow a whole foot taller.” he teased. 

“You have a meeting to go back to.” she reminded him to which he scrunched his face in disapproval. 

Just as she was slowly convincing Taehyung to go back, his face turned from playfulness to dread when the boardroom door opened. 

“Let me ask Taehyung to join the meeting again.” a colleague’s voice could be heard before their footsteps approached the lobby.  

She was about to tell Taehyung that he was needed when he ducked under her already cramped desk and put a finger to his lips as his eyes pleaded for her to keep quiet. Before she could process what was happening, Jin, her coworker appeared. 

“Hey! Is Taehyung around?” Jin asked as he marvelled at all the boxes spread out in the lobby. 

She stood still trying to calm her nerves. On one hand, she was fighting against the biggest laughing fit of her life and on the other, Taehyung her boss, expected her to cover for him as he cowered under her desk. 

“He is...” she glanced down at Taehyung who was now shaking his head and making a cutting motion with his hand, “I-I haven’t seen him actually! Is he not in the meeting?” 

Jin cocked a brow and leaned over her desk trying to see what she was looking at. 

“Is everything okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.” he laughed. 

She forced a smile and shook her head, “Oh yeah I’m fine! My computer’s been acting up all day and it’s getting a little worrisome with everything going on.” 

Taehyung was impressed by how quick she was on her feet and slowly breathed a sigh of relief until he heard Jin offer to come around and take a look at her computer for her. This whole situation was already absolutely ridiculous and humiliating until she sat down on her chair to click a few keys and feign relief that her computer was magically working again. The issue was no longer the fact that Taehyung was hiding from his employees but that he was contorted under her desk that was way too small for his large frame, now with her cunt inches away from his face. 

“Well now that you’re here anyways, I was hoping you could help me with some paper work and scheduling.” Jin said. 

“S-sure.” she managed to answer despite her throat drying up and the adrenaline slowly making its way through her veins. 

She could feel every time Taehyung breathed because his exhales would land right against her inner thigh and when he sighed, she could feel it right against her sex. Her thong provided little to no protection against any sensation caused by him. She tried to clamp her thighs together but her knees would hit Taehyung’s face in the process causing her to open her legs again as a reflex and there was no more room for Taehyung to back up against.

“Are you okay?” Jin asked. 

She could only nod as a response; she did not trust her voice to come out stable and natural. The battle she was fighting up there was mutually shared by Taehyung underneath. His brain was going a million miles a minute as he tried to figure out how to talk to her after this. How was he going to make this all alright and normal? He could offer her a raise and an extra week of paid vacation? Maybe he could fire her but he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if he did that. Taehyung was beating himself up for putting her in a situation like this and began to mentally prep for a lawsuit. While trying to figure out a solution, Taehyung forgot that he was just a man with a simple brain and another mental battle was underway as he tried very hard to avoid gazing somewhere he really shouldn’t. As she kept squirming, her skirt kept rising and Taehyung couldn’t help but steal a glance at the growing wetness appearing on her undergarment. The growing arousal within Taehyung’s pants made him feel more cramped and with his legs were beginning to fall asleep, he began to pray to any god out there for some sort of divine intervention. 

“Fuck fuck fuck...oh my fucking god,” he chanted in his head, “Jin shut the fuck up already.”

A gasp escaping from her lips followed by her suddenly jolting startled Jin and he gave her an odd look. Taehyung had completely lost feeling in both of his feet and he fell over grabbing onto her thighs for support. His hands felt so warm against her skin and their sheer size grabbed a lot more area than anticipated. Taehyung fought back a groan when the bottom of her skirt had flipped over and her entire lower region was in full view. 

“Hey Jin, is it okay if we do this over email? I’m suddenly not feeling so well.” she was able to muster out. 

It didn’t take a doctor to know something was wrong from her complexion turning completely pale. 

“Yeah I think you should go home for the rest of the day. You really don’t look well,” Jin acknowledged with furrowed brows, “I’ll just catch Taehyung up with the meeting myself.” 

The minute she heard the boardroom doors close, she pushed her chair back so forcefully that it crashed into the wall behind her. She got up and immediately pulled her skirt down and made a beeline towards the washroom without saying a single word to Taehyung. Taehyung on the other hand stayed fixed under her desk with his eyes bulged and his mouth ajar. There was absolutely no positive outcome for what he had caused.