#and he’s essentially worthless without them

[just-patchy]

back in the danganronpa phase and holy shit we need more fics of insecure hinata hajime pls it’s so delicious

[maxdibert]

How can you reconcile being a fan of Snape and defending him so much, while also knowing about the terrible attitude he has as an adult toward his students? This isn’t a malicious question,I’m genuinely curious

I don’t justify Severus’ behavior, I simply understand it. And it’s not for the typical reasons like Harry being a copy of James, or Neville being clumsy, or Hermione being insufferable in class, or just because he can’t stand kids. I understand it because, in my view, Severus is still very much a child.

Take Sirius, for example. We can all see that being locked up in Azkaban for so many years essentially froze his life at a young age, so even though he’s old enough to have grey hairs down there, he still acts like a childish, immature person a lot of the time. And well, that’s exactly what Sirius is—an immature kid. He never had the opportunity to have experiences or grow throughout his twenties. Maturity doesn’t come with age alone but through everything we go through during that time and the experiences that shape us. Without those experiences, there’s nothing to build on.

Severus’ case is different from Sirius’, but it also stems from a lack of maturity and the inability to grow. Severus was a victim of violence from childhood, and that violence didn’t end—it continued throughout his school years. After all that torment, instead of leaving Hogwarts, telling everyone to screw off, and starting a new life where he could rebuild emotionally, he ends up trapped in the same school, playing a role to maintain his cover with pureblood families and burdened with having practically sold his soul to Dumbledore. He has no space to heal, no tools to work through his traumas, and no safe, healthy environment to grow into an adult. Severus is stuck in his adolescence, haunted by his past, his traumas, and totally incapable of managing his most visceral emotions. Sure, he’s great at faking it, acting indifferent, and wearing a mask to hide what’s going on inside. But just because he’s good at repressing doesn’t mean he’s good at managing his emotions, because in that regard, he fails completely. I mean, there are so many moments throughout the saga where Severus gets triggered, and every time it happens, his serious, unflappable façade crumbles, and he acts like a kid throwing a tantrum, someone with unresolved anger issues. That’s when you see that, deep down, he doesn’t know how to handle himself, which makes sense because he never had the chance to do so. We’re talking about an abuse victim who, instead of processing and exorcising his demons, had to lock them away and throw away the key—literally the last thing you should do when dealing with trauma.

What I’m getting at is that, on one hand, it’s reasonable to expect an adult to act like an adult. But on the other hand, as I grew older, went through years of therapy, and worked with people who come from messed-up backgrounds and have lived through terrible things, when I revisited the series and saw certain scenes where Severus is being an absolute jerk to his students, I didn’t just see an adult acting out. I saw the teenager he once was, insecure, feeling worthless, scared in the hallways. And now, for the first time, he’s in a position of power where he can say what he thinks and lash out without consequences. It’s not an adult acting here—it’s a kid who never grew up, trying to have the moment of glory he never had. It’s incredibly childish. And I have to say, I really like this aspect of his character because it’s so consistent with his backstory, even though it’s clearly irresponsible and abusive.

Severus shouldn’t be a teacher because someone who hasn’t matured, grown, or healed can’t be a role model, nor do they have the tools to properly handle situations where it’s so easy to project their insecurities and abuse their authority to compensate for their own shortcomings. But we can’t really expect anything else from him—if he were a well-adjusted adult, it would make him an unrealistic character. It’s impossible for someone with his background, without professional help and many years of personal work, to function properly in an environment like that.

[mortal-song]

the problem with tua's ending is that it was IMPOSSIBLE to do without retconning and defacing the themes and characterizations that have been central to the story since the very first episode. if you had to end it that way, if it really was "the plan all along," then fine. there ARE good ways to do that -- so the execution should have been much different here if that was the case. take a look at "the good place," for example. everyone ceased to exist at the end of that story as well, but it was beautifully done because it ADDED to the show's core themes rather than take away from them. tua's ending was hollow and unavailing. at some point i have to commend the precision with which someone can desecrate an entire series and certain characters (looking at five, diego and lila especially) like this.

it made no sense. diego and lila formed a beautiful (albeit chaotic) relationship built upon mutual trust and authentic love that neither of them had ever experienced before. it was something they were teaching each other and learning together. that was a new beginning to them, and it was painted as such by the narrative. at no point were there hints that things would go sideways, no build up. every time they stumbled in the past it was still right back into each other's arms. at no point did their chaos look like an ending until it was shoved in our faces for... shock value? to shake things up? i fail to understand where it came from. they were relentlessly devoted to each other and the only two people who could stand each other for long. and so what became of them was very jarring. very messy.

five's ENTIRE character has been focused on and motivated by one thing: saving the people he loves. to the point that he was willing to let his own humanity become a forgone ideal, a renounced concept, as many times as it took. to the point that he essentially INVENTED TIME TRAVEL and INVENTED THE COMMISSION TO REGULATE IT. five's stoic exterior only barely concealed the claw-grip he had on every single family member, so why forget it now? why choose to go back on that? and in what world would five hargreeves willingly wait MONTHS to return to his family? because he was SUDDENLY in love with lila, no less? forgetting the very apparent fact that his age and body are not in alignment, five had never shown any interest in romance. especially not towards lila. but they do have very similar backgrounds, and so this was a chance to enrich the mutual understanding five and lila have with each other, expand the familial connections they have, especially seeing as how both of them -- in their own ways -- spent most of their life without that sort of connection.

ben's entire arc felt so, so out of place. completely and very ironically isolated from the entire rest of the series. nothing about it was fulfilling, nothing about it offered any sense of closure or even development. jennifer made no sense even as a plot device, much less as her own character. these two brought out nothing in each other.

klaus had the foundations of a good arc, but too much was introduced in too small an amount of time and none of it really went anywhere. i can say roughly the same for allison and viktor. THAT being said, of most of the scenes i did find myself genuinely enjoying this season, THOSE three were usually at the center! in fact, i really did love the scenes with klaus, allison, and claire. so that's cool. i guess. luther? he was just kind of... there?

and ray just fucked off with no explanation? okay. and reginald? until this point he had all the qualities of a potentially VERY GOOD and nuanced villain. his arc fell flat. and let's not forget all the other loose ends, but, you know, we've been here long enough. so. onto the next point.

none of these characters got to heal. none of them ever got to revel in anything meaningful, or, rather, the things that WERE meaningful across the whole series were rendered worthless because... none of it exists anymore! none of it ever existed! this is like an "it was all a dream" ending but much worse. and these characters are so, so incredible. i can only name a few other stories that have had characters i've connected to this deeply. and despite everything i could never really stop loving them. that makes it hurt more though tbh

anyways. i know i'm about to sound incredibly dramatic but the ending made me sob my lungs out. this show was really important to me. it led me to incredible people, other incredible stories, helped me live, etc. but i honestly found myself wishing i'd just never watched this series at all. the ending was eviscerating and Just Fucking Pointless. i don't think i'm ever going to be able to rewatch it. it's still hard for me to conceptualize that it was even real, that this is all we get. there's a lot more i could say about everything, but again, i've said a lot already and i'm not trying to write a fucking novel. i'll say more of what i want to in sporadic bursts i guess.

[sylvies-chen]

I think the focus on the firstborn sons this episode was really interesting as well because jacaerys and rhaenyra’s relationship reaches a point of tension in this episode for… probably the first time ever? and yet it contrasts so beautifully to the discussion between aegon and alicent.

jace is argumentative when his mother comes back, and he does make some bold statements for someone talking to a queen in front of her court. still, it comes from a place of love and worry, and that pervades in everything he says. his concern as to where she was, his refusal to let her go into battle. and rhaneyra did leave him and baela hanging for a bit! some tension is natural! this is someone who just loves their mother and wants so badly for everything to go right. rhaenyra of course holds her ground to shut down his boldness, but she does so in a very diplomatic way. then she pulls him aside to tell him about the song of ice and fire almost right afterwards. like emma d’arcy said, this is rhaneyra enfranchising him as her heir, but it’s also her showing him the respect of an equal. and visually it’s beautiful. she’s holding his hand as a sign of love and intimacy, they’re lit so beautifully with the light beaming down on them to show their potential and rightfulness as leaders, she’s doing it in front of a dragon skull like how her father did with her in the name of preserving tradition. it’s very succinct, very respectful, very loving.

then almost immediately before that, aegon ii and alicent have a discussion. aegon’s complaining that none of the council members respect him, and of course alicent can only view this as whining. she shuts him down as rhaenyra did jace, except without dignity and respect. alicent is lost. her beliefs are crashing and she really doesn’t know where her place is in all of this anymore, only that she caused this, so it leaves her with quite a bitter looseness. she disrespects him, calls him thoughtless, and when he reminds her that he is king, it kind of means nothing to her. I do believe she loves her children, but she treats them (especially aegon) the way she always has: as pawns. if the love is there, it isn’t shown. she says all kinds of blasphemous things about her king and then, instead of affirming his worth like rhaenyra did jace, she tells him he’s only a seat on a throne, that he’s worthless, that essentially it was never about wanting him on there, but about not wanting rhaenyra there (an idea conditioned into her by her father). all while they’re sitting an entire table’s length apart— not to mention that they go on to shatter various things in this episode. that’s the crux of it really: alicent and her children are dysfunctional, shattered and loveless where rhaenyra and her children are functional, united and loved.

I don’t know. there’s that dumbledore quote that goes “do not pity the dead, pity the living. and above all else, pity those who live without love.” to me, that’s the epitome of the greens. they might have known honour and compassion had they first known healthy love.

[artist-issues]

I’m going to say it.

I don’t think How to Train Your Dragon 3 was good.

Not when you compare it to literally either of the other movies. Certainly not as a conclusion.

I mean, the first movie was about a boy who manages to understand a hostile dragon species and bring peace to two warring factions, which is a parallel for his relationship with his father. The second film was about how sometimes, peace has to be fought for, and Hiccup’s whole identity was in contrast with that—because while his mother ran from conflict and his father leapt at it too eagerly, he had always been the one to stop the fighting. Then he has to learn that the things we love are worth protecting. 

And after he learns that humans and dragons can learn to understand each other and coexist—after he learns that it isn’t enough to run and hide or fight out of fear, but instead you must protect the things you care about—

After those two natural, powerful progressions are clearly worked for in the first two movies—

How to Train Your Dragon 3 comes along and says “‘No actually, sometimes all it takes is one madman whom you defeated with no loss of life to convince you that the things you care about should just crawl into a very pretty hiding hole, because you don’t feel like spending the rest of your life fighting for them.”

And I can say more. Below the break. 

Because I’ve waited a long time to talk about this. Everybody around me was saying that the third HTTYD movie was sooo good, how could I not love it, what was my problem, they’re crying in the theater seats around me, they’re all moved, but nobody can tell me why. What makes HTTYD3 so good, STORY WISE? What makes the fact that Toothless, who is established as “Hiccup’s Other Half” and his character’s support, leaving, a good conclusion?

And it’s not just that my feelings were hurt at the idea of this iconic duo being split up in the finale. 

It just doesn’t make any sense. Because the main thing that the whole series was built around was the adversity Hiccup and Toothless were always going to come up against, because they shouldn’t be friends. The whole first movie is like “dragons and Vikings hate and kill each other, there’s no way to get over this fear, nobody can be around Night Furies without dying,” and Hiccup and Toothless literally fly in the face of that. Then the whole second movie is “dragons either have to be left completely alone to themselves and their ways in the wild apart from man, or they have to be brutally enslaved as war machines under man’s boot” and then Hiccup and Toothless fly in the face of that. They stick together as their own, unique partnership, and it changes the world in HTTYD and in HTTYD2.

And then in the third movie, boom, Toothless suddenly doesn’t belong with Hiccup anymore? Suddenly it’s essential that he live completely separate, alone with “his own kind?” Suddenly it’s too hard and too dangerous to protect this dragon-Viking way of life that the whole first and second movie worked for?

I mean. They even abandon Berk. They fought so hard for Berk throughout three television series and two excellent movies. 

And I get it. The idea is that, they left Berk because Berk is a people, so no matter where they go Berk is still alive, just like no matter where Toothless goes, his friendship with Hiccup is “still alive.” And that’s a fine theme, I guess, except it totally makes the first two movies seem worthless. It makes Hiccup’s mom seem right for abandoning her family and giving up on the idea that humans and dragons could ever live peacefully. According to HTTYD3, Hiccup and Toothless never should have interacted again after he cut Toothless free of the net. Because Toothless should’ve just…gone on to live with his own kind.

Oh except he couldn’t, because Hiccup knocked his tail fin off and Toothless needed Hiccup. Just like Hiccup was weird and innovative in a time of traditional brutish Vikings, and he, in his own way needed Toothless. So they couldn’t live among their own kind without one another. 

And I see that HTTYD3 is trying to say “‘yes, they needed each other, but now they’ve grown up and the only thing left to learn is how to let go and move on.” But you know what, if you were going to tell me that, you shouldn’t have made the driving motivation for these characters to leave one another: “too many bad guys keep inevitably attacking us.”

You also shouldn’t have made the secondary driving motivation: “Toothless likes a pretty girl dragon and he can’t be with her and be with Hiccup because she’s Too Wild.™” Because guess what? The other thing that all of the previous canon content set up was that Hiccup can basically tame and befriend any wild dragon.

There are very few dragons, even in the TV show, that he cannot make friends with and live side-by-side with, and the ones that existed were basically just big, angry killing machines who presented themselves as way more threatening in mannerisms than the Light Fury does in the third movie. The Red Death eats other dragons; the Light Fury warns other dragons of traps. The Skrill tries to lightning-fry every human around it; the Light Fury only ever plasma blasts at humans that surprise her while she’s actively snooping around their camp.

I am willing to buy a story where a dragon needs to be free of his human master if he wants to have a future with his own kind, but you can’t do that if the dragon in the story is Toothless and the master in the story is Hiccup. Because those characters’ relationship was established as the future of their kind. Viking’s way forward was dragons—dragons’ way forward was Vikings. 

And that brings up another bone of contention with me—the first reason for the finale split-up—what made Grimmel so terrifying that it convinced Hiccup to uproot his whole tribe from their ancestral home and eventually give up on fighting for his dragon/Viking way of life, and Toothless himself? Was it that Grimmel was a better strategist than Hiccup? Because Grimmel lost and died, so there’s no reason for that to remain the reason. Was it because Viggo had a whole army of people that were slapped together to hastily represent “the rest of the world” and a bunch of dragons—again, DRAGONS, Hiccup’s specialty—to attack them with? Because again, all of them lost. And Berk sacrificed nothing in the process, unless you count, like…stress.

And DON’T give me any crap about the epilogue. Don’t tell me “‘Oh, OP, you totally ignored the part at the end where Toothless and Hiccup’s new families visit each other, they’re not gone forever, they’re just Friends From Afar, living at peace, protecting the peace by staying apart.”

That is 1) a terrible cowardly step back from any emotional impact that the big goodbye and sense of sacrifice that living apart from each other should have given the audience, and 2) still doesn’t negate the fact that Hiccup and Toothless WERE fighting for their way of life, which was living together, since movie 1, and the fact is whether they visit each other or not they still don’t get to have that anymore. For no good reason. I could say more. I could talk about how silly I think a lot of the Light Fury plot is, how poorly set-up the Hidden World was as a conclusion piece, blah blah blah. But instead, I’ll just leave this quote from the end of How to Train Your Dragon 2, and you tell me how the logical conclusion to this quote was “let’s abandon our home and stuff our dragons in a hiding-hole because the enemies and armies that have never once actually defeated us are just too much hassle to keep fighting with.”

“This is Berk. A bit trampled and busted and covered in ice, but it's home. It's our home. Those who attacked us, are relentless, and crazy. But those who stopped them, oh, even more so! We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pin against us. We are the voice of peace, and bit by bit, we will change this world. You see, we have something they don't. Oh, sure, they have armies, and they have armadas. But we... we have... OUR DRAGONS!"

[virgobingo]

maki is an interesting character, bc she is generally acknowledged to be one of gege's best written characters in jjk, period. regardless of gender.

but the reason she is so great, is because her arc is centered around her experiences as a girl in a patriarchal society. not one that fits into the standard either.

she's born into a family that is considered misogynistic by other clans' standards. as a twin, no less, which is considered a bad omen. with little to no curse energy to boot.

still, for a large portion of her life, she desired to prove herself to them. in a way that reminds me of the myth of meritocracy? that idea of "if you work hard enough, you can do anything you want and you can prove yourself to the naysayers."

but in her journey she learns it's impossible for her to rise in an institution that actively works against her.

this happens, specifically, when she goes to the zenin clan during the culling games (to simply collect tools). she's confronted by reality in ways that echo momo and nobara's conversation (about the weight of misogyny in their lives).

"A scar on the face can be a good thing for guys. But not for girls. You think the world of Jujutsu Sorcerers is based on skills? [It is] Sure. But only for guys. Even if a girl is skilled, if she's not cute, she is looked down upon. Of course, if she's only cute without any skill, it's the same. Women Jujutsu Sorcerers aren't expected to be skilled. They're expected to be perfect." (Momo, Chapter 40)

the first thing she is told when she visits the compound is "yikes, what a face. that ain't gonna heal. what are you gonna do Maki? [...] all you had going was your face and now it's wrecked. no one will even look in your direction anymore." (Chapter 148, p.2-3)

after that, she crosses paths with her mother, who, at face value, echoes the horror tropes of mothers that "fanatically conform to the institution" (i think her actions later make her more complex).

then, finally, maki comes across her father, who remarks on maki and mai's "worthlessness" to him. he's convinced himself he would be better off in life if they were dead.

maki's continuously told she has no value in this world. for things that are out of her control.

of course, this all leads to the loss of mai, who sacrifices herself in order to essentially push maki forward as a character bc "to gain something, you must offer something," in the world of jujutsu kaisen. this is not exclusive to them. it also leads to mai telling maki something that aligns really well with what "female rage" means to me:

"Destroy… Everything" (Chapter 149, p.12)

why?

i think there is no amount of climbing you can do in a society that is actively pulling you down. no way to become clan head in an institution that wants you dead.

i believe it's this realization that causes maki to embrace her "monstruous femininity" that ultimately results in her ascension (as a person, as a sorcerer).

i know some people criticize her decision to kill the zenin in honor of her sister's memory. but, i think the message here is that some institutions simply cannot be reformed.

also, note that with their destruction, maki's narratively released from their expectations.

anyways, what comes after is honestly hilarious. i think it's a mockery of what gege expected misogynistic readers to say. "you're not toji!" (Chapter 151, 6-19) as if drawing a parallel implies that she's his copy.

another charming detail to maki's character is how sumo helps her find freedom/her groove. considering how, in traditional sumo, "women are considered impure and cannot step into the ring". it's just something so fitting for maki who continually defies gender expectations.

long post to say: i honestly love her and i think ppl often ignore how entrenched her story is in the female experience bc they just see how buff she is.

[thefruitonyourfly]

Just read a comment under a magireco Madoka's magical girl sequence that said "now Madoka is a badass" and I was like HUH

Like did some of you watched episode 12 blindfolded and with ear plugs? Because I don't think you guys truly grasp the scope of what Madoka did that episode: The Incubator has been on earth for a MILLENNIUM, meaning that has been thousand of girls before Madoka who have tried to outsmart his system and met a terrible fate for their attempts, but only Madoka has been able to beat him, do you guys understand that? The smartest and strongest girls have tried, but something always thwarted their plans—be it their potential not being that high or Kyuubey twisting their words so it would be in his favor instead—But Madoka had something they didn't and it was her circumstances (Homura and the timeloops), Madoka knew her wish would come at a great sacrifice, but just like Homura said in Rebellion "She rose to the occasion" because she knew it was something only she could do; No one would ever have the perfect circumstances to make that wish like Madoka. So, she did it.

When Madoka made her wish and Kyuubey hesitated for the first time in the series because he understood the implication of it, Madoka said to him: "Now, grant my wish, Incubator." When Kriemhild Gretchen was born and Kyuubey thought he had the advantage back again because this witch could literally swallow a planet and Madoka killed her with one shot. Madoka won, essentially. Like her system isn't perfect, Kyuubey isn't dead, and there's still suffering, but it was the best wish for the magical girl kind as a whole, and all improvements are only possible by what Madoka did here. She played within the Incubator's system and rewrote it. She is the most powerful character in the whole franchise and arguably one of the most powerful characters in anime. "But didn't Homucifer defeated Madokami?" Well, sort of. Homura's win is, ironically, also due to extreme circumstances, only Homura could've done that and only within this one scenario: and even when she won it's heavily implied that if Madoka even has a slightly moment of deja vu it's over for her, she can't win against Madoka on fair terms so even Homura herself can't achieve that feat again. That's just how powerful Madoka is.

Do you guys understand that?

And here's the thing: my problem with that statement isn't even that I don't think magireco Madoka isn't as cool as Madokami, I think she's badass too. Is just like, I thought we all thought Madoka was cool as herself?? Like even without being a magical girl or a fucking godess, Madoka was cool as shit. When Madoka risked her own life to save the lives of her friends and strangers at the warehouse? She had no powers, no backup, and had just watched Mami die to a witch and yet she still followed Hitomi. But people only want to see Madoka's character as what the witch showed her afterwards, her own survivors guilt and perceived weakness and cowardice over wanting to live and not be a magical girl despite what she promised Mami, and yet the scene prior to this conflicts with this idea. Madoka not only can risk her life for others and save them when the need arises, but she already has. Even without being a magical girl. It's just who she is. This, to me, is one Madoka Magica's core strenght as a show that Madoka spent the majority of it being the most "powerless" in almost every scenario and yet she still tried her best to overcome things, even when it didn't work It was never worthless, if anything it proved her own strenght of character and without it she would've never gotten as powerful how she is today.

If Madoka hadn't been kind to Homura on her first day of school, if she hadn't done the simple act of reaching out to someone she thought was kind shy, none of this would've have happened. Her kindness did this, not any other power.

My favorite thing about Madoka's character arc is that Madoka starts as a very naive opmitimisc girl and with a somewhat sheltered view of of the world, then she goes throught horrors few can understand and while she could (understably) become bitter with the world and grow to despise it, Madoka comes of it realizing...she was right. Madoka has felt the pain the world could give her in her own skin, has literally died, and she now thinks Hope is needed more than ever. And it saddens me a lot when people don't understand how strong and cool she is because of that, to be hurt and choose to be kinder and more understanding to yourself and the world in return, because the world can be better we just can't give up...

Basically what I'm saying with this that if you don't like Kaname Madoka, fuck you—

[darklinaforever]

Just because Emma D'Arcy says Daemyra is grooming doesn't mean that's the case. The actor, in the same interview, was literally wrong about Rhaenyra's age in episode 4.

Emma D'Arcy is an imperfect human being who can say stupid things. Especially today, many people use big words without knowing their real definitions.

I will add that even if Emma was talking about grooming, they did not agree and still did not find the scene where Daemon strangled Rhaenyra coherent, and rightly this time. Emma also said that they reads Daemyra fanfiction. So that basically means that they ship despite the problematic aspect. I wouldn't call it a victory for the antis.

Essentially, Emma D'Arcy seems neutral on Daemyra.

Also, Emma D'Arcy is an actor, paying to say certain things in interviews. Who's to say they's not just following the writers' stupid agenda ?

Then, I have already explained countless times that no, Daemon is not a groomer, notably in these posts, where I have also for some addressed the case of Emma D'Arcy and they grooming statements :

Moreover, even if the writers seem obsessed with a non-existent story of grooming between Daemyra, they do not seem to deny that it is a romance either. These people, and even HBO, obviously still have their ass between two chairs :

I will add that no, Daemon is not a pedophile either. Go to @nrilliree to get the definition because I'm clearly too lazy to explain again :

Especially since if you give me the example of the young prostitutes (which the antis also love to pass off as younger than they probably realistically are, like under 13 years old, just to make it really disgusting) when Daemon was in his 20s, know that they were all maidens.

“Maidens” is a term they use to refer to young unmarried women. In brothels these maidens were most likely between 15 and 17 or higher do to the lack of nutrition of the peasants. A bad nutrition causes someone's period to come later.

So no, they weren't little girls. This was for the time of young women literally according to society's of Westeros marriageable age.

The worst you can say about this case of prostitutes is that Daemon had a fetish for virgin maiden for a period in his younger years. (And even if it's obviously not great, I'm not sure #irony that we can put it on the same level as a groomer, a pedophile and a rapist... Yes I'm making an insituation in Aegon II for the last 2 points. We're getting there...)

Aside from that, Daemon was in a relationship with his then favorite, Mysaria, an adult, he also married Laena later, also an adult, and also married Rhaenyra when she was an adult (all according to our modern standards), although yes, he courted her when she was 14. But I remember that Rhaenyra had reached the age where she could marry and had already been courted by men. It's not surprising in the context that Daemon courted her. Especially since there is no evidence that anything sexual happened between them at that time. (One talking about sex is Mushroom, and we know to what extent he is obsessed with it and therefore that his testimony is almost worthless, and the second is Eustace, pro greens. And I remind you that the greens were already making up bullshit on Rhaenyra's sexuality before Daemon's return)

Basically, Daemon has always slept with maiden, and always of varying ages. (which is completely wrong with the definition of pedophile)

Limit, you can talk about ephebophile, but as @nrilliree already said, there is no evidence on this subject, especially since Daemon has also been with adult women several times (Mysaria for a little more than 1 year, Laena for 5 years, and Rhaenyra for 10 years), and this by our own standards modern.

Also, what makes me laugh is that these same people who will claim that Daemon only likes young girls who are essentially minors according to our time (because obviously they will look at age only according to our time, which is an error given that the historical context of this universe is completely different from ours, but in short), claiming that Daemon only married Rhaenyra for power and striving to say that Laena was 15 / 16 years old like in the HOTD show when he married her, while no, she was 22 in Fire and Blood. Well these same people will come and tell you and claim that Daemon did cheat on Rhaenyra with Mysaria, in addition to Nettles, during the dance.

An event whose veracity we also cannot prove and which seems somewhat strange when we take a closer look (so you will guess that I don't particularly believe in it either). See @horizon-verizon posts for that.

Why do I say it's funny ?

Well because Mysaria is an adult woman, much older than Rhaenyra and Laena.

But tell me... if Daemon is so obsessed with underage girls... why would he have slept with a former lover of his, who was already an adult at the time, and even older at this point there ?

We see that what really interests them is more to say bad things about Daemon whoever he is, rather than having any real consistency in their comments and accusations. (And if anyone dares to say that Daemon was sleeping with Mysaria to ensure he got her on his side... wtf ? Rhaenyra is the queen. She pays Mysaria and assures her safety. Why would sex with Daemon be the only way for Mysaria to ensure her loyalty to the team Blacks ? She literally hasn't seen Daemon in over 20 years I think. What would she care about him sexually or otherwise at this point, except perhaps for personal revenge ? And then, if Daemon really was with Mysaria to ensure her loyalty to his side... Well he's a bit much of an idiot if he really slept with Nettles after that. These people love to say that Daemon is a great master manipulator who places his pawns well in advance, especially when it comes to women, except that... Daemon does not seem to have been very intelligent if we follow this belief that I have already seen among antis, which is once again inconsistent with the speech Daemon was a master manipulator of women... I mean, according to their point of view, Daemon knew how to pretend for 10 years with Rhaenyra. Why couldn't he have lasted longer to play the charade with Mysaria ? Once again, the consistency of their words does not interest the antis. They only care about saying bad things about Daemon !)

And don't come for talk to me about Nettles, because I've already made some rather long posts on the subject, go see them if you want :

As well as I highly recommend the extremely in-depth analyzes of @horizon-verizon.

Basically, the story with Nettles could never be proven, and I personally don't believe it.

On the other hand, Aegon II is a character who could be described as a pedophile (by Westeros standards and ours) in Fire and Blood, having been with a girl (= child for Westeros. There is no adolescence in this society. Only childhood and adulthood. As a girl and not a maiden, a woman having her period and therefore marriageable, the individual with whom Aegon II was therefore indeed a child), and not a maiden, from precisely 11 / 12... And he's being also reported as having several inappropriate behaviors / touching towards women, strongly insinuating that he is a rapist (by the own maesters being on his side). And no, Eustace never denied the girl's age, and continued even though he referred to her as girl and tried to downplay the scandalous event.

And why am I talking about Aegon II fans ?

Because it's systematically them who come to me to tell me the bullshit about Daemon being a groomer and a pedophile while sometimes maintaining that their little favorite is not a rapist, and a potential pedophile.

Which is still pretty damn cheeky...

[moongothic]

This is gonna turn into some Crocodad Propaganda eventually but putting the man aside for a little bit

Let's be real for a moment. Regardless of who Luffy's other biological parent is, regardless of if they're relevant to the story or not, no matter what has become of that person, if they're dead or somewhere out there alive, etc-- I believe Oda "knows the truth".

Although it took One Piece until post-Enies Lobby to reveal some of Luffy's blood relatives to us, Oda had technically introduced both Garp and Dragon to us all the way back in the East Blue saga. And Ace was introduced not too long after in the Baroque Works saga, along with his tattoo which held that secret tribute to Sabo all along. (Also he was introduced as "Portgaz D. Ace" meaning Oda must've intended to make the two non-blood brothers from the get-go.) All this means that Luffy's family, both adopted and blood relatives, have been in Oda's mind from the very begining of the story. And so if Oda had figured out Luffy's grandfather, father and at least one brother (if not both) from the begining, then why would he not have decided what became of the person who gave birth to the idiot as well? Like considdering how detail-oriented and meticulous Oda can be, would it not be unusual for him to essentially forget about a character that important (in the sense that Luffy literally would not exist without them) and just handwave them away without much thought? Would that not be out of character for Oda? As such, I don't think it is not unreasonable for us to believe that Oda would know what happened to Luffy's other bio-parent. Mind you, it really could be just something like "Luffy's mother died of The Disease when Luffy was a baby", or "the mom fell down the stairs" or "was eaten by a bear in the woods" or something, anything, whatever. Even if it truly does not matter to the story one bit, I'm sure Oda knows the truth of what happened and why that character wasn't a part of Luffy's life.

But at the same time, if the identity and the fate of Luffy's birthing parent truly did not matter to the story at all, then why wouldn't Oda just tell us who that was and what happened to them? In an SBS or an interview? It's not like people haven't been asking about it, because fans and staff alike have been asking about it for years. If the information really would not change anything, be it the direction the story will take or how we view the characters, if it really is just worthless trivia, then why keep it away from us?

Now of course, I'm sure you'd want to point out that one time Oda told Mayumi Tanaka that "A young boy's adventure begins after he leaves his mother's arms. I want to tell this young boy's adventure story, so his mom is not part of it." And Oda isn't known for lying, we do kind of want to take what he told Mayumi Tanaka at face value. At the same time though. If Luffy's other parent did become a plot relevant character in like the final 200 chapters of the story, after a 1100 chapters, they and their potential connection to Luffy would not have mattered to the story for 90% of its run. For an overwhealming majority of Luffy's adventure, that person would not have been a part of it. So if that character did become relevant, and Oda was lying, then it'd be a white lie at worst. But also, if Oda did intend to reveal that other parent eventually, when the time was right, then surely he wouldn't want to get people hyped up about it way ahead of time. If it did turn out to be a big plot twist or an otherwise important plot point, Oda would want to keep it under the wraps and a secret until the right time, you don't want to spoil something like that. Not to mention it could end up working like a distraction and make people not focus on the more important things happening in the story currently. So really, I think we'd all forgive him for a white lie there. Not to mention, technically speaking, if Luffy doesn't even have a mom but two dads, then Oda wouldn't really be lying either.

But that does bring up an important thing to considder.

If Crocodile does turn out to be Luffy's other dad, when did Oda get that idea, and when would he have committed to it?

Because, keep in mind, One Piece began back in 1997. Twenty seven whole years ago. Which means there's two things to considder; the evolution of queer rights over the past near three decades, as well as the fact that One Piece has more than surpassed Oda's original plans for the series. We must not forget how for a manga to remain serialized in Weekly Shounen JUMP, you need to perform well in the popularity polls consistently; if your manga starts dropping in popularity, JUMP can cancel it and force you end it prematurely. Of course, Oda arguably does not have to worry about those polls anymore after all these decades, there's no way in hell JUMP would ever cancel fucking One Piece in this day and age. But that might not have been the case 15 years ago, that was not the case 20 years ago, and that was absolutely not the fucking case 25 years ago. Like we all famously know that Oda originally planned One Piece to maybe run for like a year, then five years, then ten etc etc. That really is because at the begining of his career he had no quarantee he'd be able to tell the full story he was slow cooking at the back of his mind. Back in the early days, One Piece could've been canceled and ended prematurely, so Oda smartly chose to write it focusing very specifically on what mattered to the story at that moment, in the short term. Yes, he did start laying out the groundwork for things to come, but he did it so subtly that had OP been forced to end early, the series wouldn't have been left with too many massive, gaping plotholes or unresolved sidestories. Another thing to keep in mind is how comic artists for JUMP do have editors etc who can have a say in what goes into the manga (famously, Sasuke only existed because Matashi Kishimoto's editor suggested it). So again, while Oda might be able to do whatever the hell he pleases in One Piece at this point, that wouldn't have been the case 20+ years ago. He would have been more or less at the whims of his editors back in the day.

So would Oda have thought about giving Luffy, the main character of the series, a transgender father back in the year 2000? Could that really have been the secret plan from the start? And would Oda's editor(s) at JUMP have allowed that? Or, did Oda maybe come up with the idea later?

Now just so we're clear, I am NOT suggesting Crocodad was Oda's original intent and that his editors didn't let him do it or anything like that, my tinfoil hat isn't on that fucking tight. What I do want to suggest, is that it is plausible Crocodile being Luffy's other dad was an idea Oda was playing around with at the back of his mind from the begining, but wasn't sure he'd ever get to, mainly due to the uncertainty of series' future and partially because he could've been unsure if his editors would even allow him to write that story. And IF this was the case, Oda may not have even started committing to to the idea until around the CP9 saga. Or, it's possible Oda only got the idea sometime after the completion of the Alabasta arc/during Skypiea saga, and started laying down the groundwork for during Summit War so that, if he ever got around to it, he'd be able to commit and tell that story.

Regardless, let's be real.

It is interesting and kind of suspicious how Crocodile does just happen to be introduced around the same time the rest of Luffy's family was first shown to us, even if we didn't know Garp and Dragon were Luffy's family yet (this was also the same time the first canon queer character was introduced; Oda was playing around with queer characters during Crocodile's introduction, possibly testing the waters to see what he could get away with?) During the CP9 Saga we got the Miss Goldenweek cover story, where we see what's become of Crocodile after the fall of Baroque Works. This is of course adding to the world building of the CP9 Saga (where we're told the criminals who go through Enies Lobby are either sent to Impel Down or to Marineford; so us finding out Crocodile's gone to ID is playing off of what we knew would become of Robin and Franky and the Strawhats not come to rescue them. AND it's foreshadowing for the Summit War Saga), but also, soon after we were reminded of Crocodile and told where he's been sent off to, we were finally formally introduced to Garp and Dragon (Garp having already been mentioned by Aokiji at the begining of the Saga). And we close off the Saga watching Ace and Blackbeard have their fateful match. So again, Crocodile was on Oda's mind around the same time the rest of Luffy's family was. And indeed, after Thriller Bark we then move onto Summit War proper, where Oda does all The Things we would considder The Groundwork for Crocodad, most important being the introduction of Ivankov and their Devil Fruit. But again, just like before, Crocodile just happens to be there at the same time as this saga, which really heavily focuses on Luffy's family, plays out. While we learn about Dragon's secretive nature and connection to Iva-chan, Garp's feelings for the boys, Ace's struggle with his heritage and Luffy's love for him, Sabo and Garp... Yeah, Crocodile's just... Also there.

Whenever Oda starts dwelling into Luffy's family, Crocodile is always there. It's a bizarre coincidence if nothing else.

(And oh won't you look at that, Crocodile has once again become a plot relevant character, just in time for The Final Saga where Dragon has also started becoming actually plot relevant as well)

All of this to say, again.

The fact that Oda has refused to tell us anything about Luffy's other parent is sus, and to me indicates that either although unusual for him Oda genuinely just doesn't give a damn about Luffy's other parent, or he's been trying to play it safe for years so that if he ever got the opportunity, he could give Luffy two dads. (Or maybe there's some other twist that has nothing to do with Crocodile, that is possible too, I just feel like if that was the case then why hide it for 27 years?)

Whatever the case, I'm sure Oda knows the truth.

And I'm sure we will find out the truth eventually, be it on the pages of the comic or in the SBS.

[darkshrimpemotions]

So wait. WAIT. I'm just being struck by it all once more...

5-6 Hiatus: Sam comes back from the dead almost immediately and decides to let Dean suffer thinking he was still dead, and goes off to hook up with the Campbells and hunt on his own, essentially moving on without Dean like it was nothing.

(No it does not matter that he was soulless, considering this is one of FIVE!!!! times he does this in canon)

Season 6: Sam gets Dean turned into a vampire, which ultimately leads to the dissolution of his relationship with Ben and Lisa, essentially robbing Dean of a wife and child.

Season 7: Sam kills Emma in front of Dean and tries to say she wasn't really Dean's daughter, robbing Dean of another child.

7-8 Hiatus: Sam leaves Dean in Purgatory, not even bothering to confirm he was really dead, and runs off to play at a normal life with literally the first woman he exchanges more than three sentences with.

Season 8: Sam gives Dean ultimatum after ultimatum about Benny until he succeeds in driving a wedge between them, robbing Dean of a friend.

Season 9: Dean isolates himself from Cas to save Sam's life after Sam decided the only possible reaction to receiving very valid criticism on his selfish behavior is to try and make himself a human fucking sacrifice.

And THEN, when Dean basically has no one else left BUT Sam BECAUSE OF Sam...that's when Sam tells him he wouldn't do the same for Dean. That if the roles were reversed he's just let Dean die.

Is anyone surprised that Dean felt worthless and poisonous and expendable enough to get in bed with Crowley and take the Mark? Is it any fucking wonder that the first thing Dean did when he woke up as a demon was get as far away from Sam as possible? Is it even mildly shocking that the ONLY thing he asked of Sam at that point was "stay the fuck away from me"?

[zenkindoflove]

Elucien and Sarion Parallels

Ever since I finished HOFAS, I can't help but think of all the parallels between Elain x Lucien and Sathia x Tharion. It's definitely not a coincidence and it makes me have big high hopes for both ships in the future of their series. So I made a big list of all the ways their characters and situations are paralleling each other. HOFAS spoilers under the cut.

This is the most obvious parallel. Both Elucien and Sarion are strangers finding themselves in a romantic entanglement. Elucien's mating bond snaps as soon as they meet each other, effectively making them strangers who are soulmates. Sarion is a marriage of convenience trope, where before ever speaking to each other, they both agree to marry so that Sathia doesn't have to marry one of the Murder Twins. Both have to essentially get to know the other one under the circumstances of having a romantic bond between them.

Tropes Are Troping.

There are tons of similarities in the actual situations that Elucien and Sarion first meet. They are both in a throne room, standing in front of an evil Fae King who is putting Elain and Sathia in a very high-stakes, traumatizing, nonconsensual situation. Before Elain is turned Fae and before the mating bond snaps, Lucien protests what is happening to her, leading to his bondage. He breaks through the bonds once she is dumped onto the floor, running to her to cover her with his jacket to preserve her modesty and provide her with his protection. As the CC crew bargain for Sathia's freedom, which is going nowhere fast, Tharion offers himself to marry Sathia so that she doesn't have to be shackled to one of the Murder Twins forever. He's effectively, like Lucien, the only one who takes the extra step to protect her.

Meet Cute.

Given the trope that Elucien and Sarion are both in, both couples effectively belong to one another right from the start. Lucien and Elain are often referred to each other as mates and Lucien's internal thoughts claim her as his mate. "Mine. You are mine, and I am yours. Mate". In Tharion's POV, he very quickly labels her as his wife and seems comfortable embracing that label for her. Literally, one of my favorite parts about these tropes is how these romantic and intimate labels now have such a distinct and powerful punch against the background of the tension behind the trope.

My Wife/My Mate

This section really deserves a bullet point list because omg, there are so many parallels in these two characters.

Lucien and Tharion

-Redheads

-Flirty rakes who like to "dally"

-Depicted as having lots of low-commitment sexual encounters before they meet their love interest.

-This part of their characters seems to be a defense mechanism to protect their hearts.

-As soon as they do find their love interest which is an instant high-commitment, they are both singularly focused on them and loyal. Feyre states Lucien no longer enjoys the company of females now that he's a "mated male" and we no longer see Tharion flirting with or hooking up with any other characters.

-They're both self-loathing, broody sad dudes who don't have high opinions of their worth. Lucien: "I am seventh son of the Autumn Court" And a whole lot of nothing. Tharion: Captain Whatever. More like Captain Worthless.

-Both jump around in their allegiances after finding themselves in abusive power struggles. For both characters currently in their respective series, they've jumped from court/queens several times, and essentially find themselves aimless and without homes, relying on the generosity of their friends to hopefully take them in and see their worth.

-Both have had someone they love tragically taken from them that greatly affects their motivations and self-loathing.

TBH there are probably a ton more but this is just what I'm thinking of on the fly.

Elain and Sathia are a shorter list but I think that is only because we know less about them than Lucien and Tharion respectively.

Elain and Sathia

-Both are a more traditional feminine archetype. They're described as beautiful, petite, with many characteristics associated with upholding tradition and fulfilling more stereotypical feminine roles.

-Both are shown to value marriage and seek it out from men with power and influence. Elain with Graysen and Sathia in the HOSAB bonus chapter when she asks about Cormac.

-Both fall madly in love with their first love. Sathia says her separation from Collin is her "Ordeal". Elain is shown to be horribly depressed and desperately runs to find Graysen the first opportunity she gets. As Sathia does once she sees Collin again.

-Both are described as having some "vapid" traits that makes people underestimate them. Elain's interests in gardening and cooking is dismissed. Sathia is described as a fairly stereotypical rich and prissy girl who Ruhn thinks only cares about her manicures and clothes.

-Speaking of that underestimation, we see at different points in their series that characters around them are often surprised when they reveal that they are actually quite intelligent, thoughtful, and brave.

-Both have a moment of "standing up" for their love interest. Elain's famous "His name is Lucien" line and Sathia standing up to the Viper Queen on behalf of Tharion when they meet her in the alley.

-There is of course a bit of a difference between them. Elain is described as being more timid. Ruhn refers to Sathia as "a predator". So they both take a bit different approaches to how they fit into their social groups.

Elucien and Sarion both enter into their romance trope with other love interests either in their pasts or currently that they're involved with. Lucien has Jesminda, who he still loves deeply and mourns her death. Elain has Graysen, who she is engaged to but her turning Fae puts a big wedge in their relationship. Sathia isn't with Collin but clearly still loves him. It's unclear how far their relationship ever got. Tharion is the only one who is emotionally "unattached" but he is very much still in the web of the River Queen's daughter and his 10-year long engagement of duress to her.

It's complicated.

In both cases, Tharion and Lucien are effectively unattached. Maybe it's complicated but they are more free and open to the bond they now have to this stranger. Elain and Sathia are not, however. Both Elain and Sathia show that they still have a deep commitment to their former loves and take similar actions by giving into their most romantic fantasies and running after their first loves to try and save the relationship. We know for Elain, that her seeking out Graysen was the nail in the coffin for them. With Sathia, her situation with Collin is left very open ended. But both are full of angst and both show that Elain and Sathia are very romantic at heart and commit deeply to the men that they love. Both Tharion and Lucien are shown to be very understanding and not possessive of Sathia and Elain. Lucien is not present for Elain seeing Graysen but he gives her space to work through her feelings and it's known he's met Graysen and doesn't think highly of him yet its implied he has left him alone. Tharion does not go after Sathia as soon as she leaves to find Collin and even hopes that should he die she'd be free to marry Collin if he can get away from the Viper Queen.

She is still in love with her ex.

Now we don't know how Elain or Sathia truly feel for Lucien and Tharion. We have neither of their POVs. We do however see Tharion and Lucien's POVs and at least based on actions alone, Lucien is clearly more interested in pursuing the mating bond than Elain is at the moment. When Sathia leaves to find Collin, Tharion spends a lot of time with her letter and its said he can't stop thinking about her as he makes his way to help Bryce with defeating the Asteri.

He falls first.

Lucien and Tharion both go to "rescue" their love interest. Lucien desperately wants to leave Spring to make sure that Elain is okay after her trauma in Hybern. He still doesn't trust the Night Court and has no idea what they're doing to her. He crosses Prythian with Feyre, going into Autumn Court where he knows they could kill him on the spot and where he experienced some of his worst traumas. But he braves it all just so he can see Elain once and make sure she's okay. He's fully aware she has a fiance and may not want anything to do with him. Tharion, after the Asteri are defeated, is seen in his last chapter of HOFAS returning back to the Meat Market where the Viper Queen holds a bounty on his head and essentially owned him as her slave. But he returns so he can make sure that Sathia is not in danger. Similar to Lucien, he's returning to the place of his trauma, risking it all with little expectations that Sathia will "choose him"

Damsels in distress.

Lucien is an emissary and he is well known for his social skills. Elain similarly has been described as being very charming and sociable, able to befriend servants or nobles. It's a common head canon amongst Eluciens that Elain and Lucien, once they start spending time together, will find themselves in a situation where they have to act as emissaries and Elain will impress Lucien with her natural skills. We see this scenario play out with Tharion and Sathia when they try to convince the River Queen to protect some of Crescent City's most vunerable members. Tharion is impressed at how skilled Sathia is when talking to the queen, able to charm and "speak her language" which is that of nobility and politeness.

Emissaries.

Prediction: I have a feeling that not only are both Elucien and Sarion end game, but I think their end game is going to be mirror images of where they started. Elucien started with a mating bond and I think they will fall in love and choose to marry each other. And the reverse, Sarion started with a marriage but I also think they will fall in love and the mating bond will snap between them. It would just be such a cute additional parallel to how SJM has set up their characters and story arcs.

[linkspooky]

Someone has pointed it out before and it's becoming more prevalent now more than ever. Sukuna is really shaping up to be Megumi's own Mahito. Bro has violated him in so many ways - deformed, corrupted and tainted his body and soul that I'm sitting here reading the weekly updates hoping Megumi will finally wake up and yell 'ENOUGH!'. Like, when Megumi finally breaks free I want him to be as crazed as he was (or even more) when he first deployed his domain.

You're right anon, there are a lot of parallels between what Sukuna is doing to Megumi currently, and what Mahito did to Yuji throughout his introduction arc and Shibuya. In fact Megumi's journey right now mirrors wat Yuji already went through in Shibuya, possession of his body, using his body to make him complicit in murder by getting the blood on his hands, then killing off his loved ones to weaken his resolve.

Sukuna is to Megumi what Mahito is to Yuji. They are both curses that represent the opposite of what the heroes represent. Yuji lives to save lives, so Mahito violates life. Megumi lives to save his loved ones and Sukuna rejects the idea of ever loving another person.

Mahito and Sukuna both employ the same strategy to break down the sorcerer they are opposed to, there are several parallels between what Megumi is experiencing right now and what Yuji experienced at the hands of Mahito. The first thing Sukuna did was show Megumi he was too weak to save a friend. In chapter 9 Sukuna rips Yuji's heart out and Megumi isn't able to fight Sukuna enough to force him to fix Yuji. Similiarly, Mahito right in front of Yuji's eyes mutates Junpei and there's nothing Yuji can do to turn him back. Any deal he tries to make is rejected by Sukuna and both of them laugh at him. The two panels even parallel each other in Yuji and Megumi standing in the aftermath of witnessing the deaths.

Mahito also goes out of his way to make Yuji lose his innocence, by proving as the ultimate test of his ideology to save others. Mahito tells Junpei that all life is equally worthless in the same few chapters that Yuji says he doesn't want life to lose it's value.

Yuji wants to give people a natural death, a death that comes at the end of one's life like his grandfather's death, and not the brutal way that victims of curses are killed. Mahito's ability violates life itself by twisting humans into inhumane shapes that mindlessly cry out in agony and lash out at whatever's around them until they die.

Mahito himself also forces Yuji to kill innocent people, because the humans he mutates can't be saved they can only be mercy killed. Something which unnerves both Yuji and even a seasoned professional like Nanami, which Mahito says his soul was shaking in response to seeing what he had done to the humans. If Yuji's philosophy is to save people, and let die natural causes after living long lives Mahito kills people without any reason and gives them unnatural deaths. However, he's not satisfied with just killing Yuji he wants to psychologically break him down he wants to become him.

Mahito acts plotwise as the mirror to Yuji's actions by being his opposite. He's attempting to force self-analysis on Yuji. Yuji doesn't stop to think about killing curses, the same way that Mahito doesn't contemplate killing people.

Mahito has power over Yuji specifically because Yuji does not analyze himself. Part of the reason Mahito and Sukuna in general are able to run rampant over Megumi and Yuji's entire lives is because they are both people who adapt the cog mindset too well.

They act without thinking, and they act for the sake of other people rather than themselves. It's easy to be manipulated, to be blindsided, to be run roughshod over when you are a cog because cogs don't think. The easiest way to get manipulated by others is to not think for yourself after all.

Mahito is essentially trying to get Yuji's ego to break by making him question every philosophy he fights for. His strategy is to violate that same philosophy in front of Yuji's eyes while he's helpless, again and again. Sukuna even helps him in Shibuya.

Sukuna takes away from Yuji the idea that he can die and save others by taking Sukuna with him, by forcing him to become the sole survivor of a massacre. Even if he's executed and Sukuna vanishes permanently he's not going to reduce the total number of deaths in the world because now thousands of people have died because Yuji let Sukuna out in Shibuya.

Sukuna's first move to break megumi when he has control of his body is the exact same play, to convince Megumi that he is a murderer by using ten shadows his own technique to destroy Tsumiki's body. Mahito also as mentioned earlier made this play early on to make Yuji feel like a murderer by having to kill the mutated humans that were just innocent people.

Megumi and Yuji are made to feel like murderers by Sukuna and Mahito respectively, they're also made to kill the people they wanted to save. Yuji's desire is to save everyone so he's forced to mercy kill innocent people, and Megumi's desire is to save his sister so Sukuna's literal first action is to bury Tsumiki as deep as possible.

He's not just taking away Megumi's sister, but also his reason for living and being a sorcerer. The same way that Mahito is trying to show Yuji that his philosophy of saving people is wrong and worthless, Sukuna shows Megumi that everything he did to protect his sister amounted to nothing in th eend. Megumi and Yuji both value life and Sukuna and Mahito violate and trample all over that life.

Flowers = purity and innocence, and Mahito and Sukuna both exist to defile those things, trampling and tearing apart those flowers.

The next action Mahito takes is to kill Yuji's mentor right in front of him. Which is what we just witnessed Sukuna did to Gojo, in Megumi's body. Nanami and Gojo even die in the same way, still standing as their torsos are separated from their lower halves.

Mahito's actions didn't stop with Nanami though, as Yuji when he was about to break from the pressure of Sukuna's massacre in Shibuya received support from Nobara arriving on time to remind him he's not alone.

Only for Mahito to kill Nobara right in front of him a moment later due to a small slip up during the fight. Nobara's unceremonious death and being made to fight alone again breaks Yuji's resolve almost completely until he believes what Mahito has been trying to convince him of, that all of his ideals are wrong, that they're just excuses, that he's completely helpless and can't fight back.

Now, there's a couple of parallels, the murder of Nobara could both parallel the attempted murder of Hana and Angel someone who gave Megumi and the audience a brief hope spot that she'd be able to exorcise sukuna from him only for that hope to be ripped away in the goriest fashion possible.

Or it could be Tsumiki's death which was the breaking point for Megumi at which point he stopped fighting back even curling up in the fetal position like Yuji. It could even be Sukuna immediately awakening to punch Yuji through a building. Either way, Sukuna's strategy mirrors Mahito's here, it's to number one isolate Megumi and convince him he's alone, and two by victimizing all of his friends in front of him he shows Megumi he's helpless to stop him and convinces him not to fight back.

Either way Mahito violates the idea Yuji can save anyone even his friends by killing Nobara in a fight that they are both fighting in, right in front of his eyes, convincing him that his philosophy for helping others was an excuse and he never had the strength to save others to begin with.

The same way Sukuna violates love, he makes a joke of pretending to be Megumi again so Hana will embrace him, only to eat her when she drops her guard. He talks about destroying Tsumiki Fushiguro while she's drawn naked on panel and there are flowers representing purity torn up in the background. Megumi's sister is possessed by Yorozu, a woman who is fanatically in love with Sukuna and the two of them make a twisted mockery of the love between siblings in the bodies of the two siblings they're possessing.

Mahito twists the value and sanctity of life to insist that all life is worth nothing, because Yuji his foil is the one who fights to save as many people as possible without thinking about it. Sukuna rejects love and other people in his life because Megumi is only fighting for the sake of the people he loves.

They even use strategies from the same playbook, forcing their victims to kill, then the killing of a mentor, a friend right in front of them until they've convinced their victims they're helpless and alone.

Mahito insists that he and Yuji are the same. Sukuna's goal too in a way is to become Megumi, by completely dominating his body so he can reincarnate in this era. Mahito wants to kill Yuji, and Sukuna wants to make Megumi experience an ego-death, bury him so deep within his consciousness that he'll never stop fighting back.

Mahito is sucesful in a way because even if Yuji managed to kill Mahito, he became like him. Mahito wanted to covince Yuji that life was meaningless, that he didn't need ideals to strive for and all his ideals were excuses and to get out of a tough situation Yuji decided to just embrace that cog mentality. Mahito convinced Yuji to just keep mindlessly killing curses without looking for a purpose beyond that.

However, that's not a true victory over Mahito because once again that's what Mahito wanted Yuji to think. Mahito was trying to drag Yuji down to his level and convince him he was no better than a curse. Yuji and Megumi are weak to Mahito and Sukuna's manipulations because they embrace the cog-like mindset and don't try to take control of their own lives.

Yuji is currently, still mindlessly exorcising curses while Megumi at the moment is also in a mindless cog like state where he is being used by someone else. Neither of them have broken free from being cogs and become fully self-actualized individuals in control of their own actions, especially in Megumi's case because he's being possessed by Satan.

The only way for them both to fight back will be to take control of their own lives, and define who they are, outside of what Mahito and Sukuna insist that they are. Megumi has to take back his own body at this point because it's the climax of a long arc of never really being in control of his own life or allowed to make his own decisions.

Since Megumi is currently sunk to the deepest part of his shadow, I imagine it will be almost exactly like the first time we see him use his domain. "Bring forth the deepest shadows..."

A future Megumi who has surpassed his own limits. A Megumi who gets to decide what he wants to be, outside of what Gojo wants, or what Sukuna is using him for.

That requires both for Megumi to assert himself, and for Yuji to help him. I've posted this panel a hundred times but Megumi says "Start by saving me..." to rescue Yuji from despair post Shibuya and get him moving again. However, if you think about it Jujutsu Society would say that Megumi needs to be killed for the greater good, and everyone including Gojo has Megumi's rescue from Sukuna as a second priority.

Yuji's act of saving Megumi would also be him asserting his will and throwing off the cog mentality, because he'd be going against Jujutsu Society and deciding for himself who he wants to save.

Megumi and Yuji have had their philosophies tested and completely deconstructed by Sukuna and Mahito respectively, but this isn't the end, but it's up to the boys to reconstruct them. Remember Mahito and Sukuna aren't really enlightened or wise. They're trying to convince Megumi and Yuji of these things to convince them they're helpless so they'll stop fighting back and be easier to dominate. It's up to Yuji and Megumi. To show them both that they're not helpless as Sukuna and Mahito would want them to believe and they can fight back.

[mtr1234]

KOLTC fans who do not like Fitz, this post is for you. Fitz fans who do not believe people have sound arguments about why they dislike Fitz, this post is also for you.

Disclaimer:

I will mention stuff that happened in Stellarlune, so if you are not caught up with the series you might not want to continue reading.

I will try to provide quotes, but I will likely just describe the scene and what book it is in when I provide my reasons.

Also, this post will be pretty long which may or may not be a good thing depending on who you are.

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Anyway, let’s get to the reasons why I dislike Fitz. I have broken them up into three main categories, and I will be talking about aspects of Fitz’s character that I think a lot of people overlook (not the reasons that people do tend to mention: him having anger issues and being boring)

I don’t know if you guys have noticed this, but Fitz is really shady, Iike really shady (and not in a good way like our favorite shade Tam)

He has eavesdropped on Sophie and Keefe’s conversations before which I find so weird

In Lodestar, when Sophie and Keefe were communicating telepathically in that slimy location that Keefe picked out, Fitz started listening in on their conversation without their knowledge. He said it was because he was worried since he heard Sophie gasp. Personally, I do not buy this excuse. He can literally see Sophie so he could easily determine that she is not in danger. At the very least, why did he not immediately announce that he was listening once he knew Sophie was okay? In my opinion, it just feels odd, and if I were Sophie or Keefe I would feel a bit uneasy.

In Flashback, Sophie and Keefe were talking in the healing center about starting weapons training, and Sophie asks Keefe if he is down to do that (or something along those lines). Fitz immediately shouts, “I’m in!” The shady thing about this was that he was sleeping in his cot when they were talking. Now, I’m not saying that he is expected to cover his ears while they have a private convo in the healing center. But the thing is, he pretended to be asleep to listen to more of their conversation which is creepy.

The next very shady thing was the gift he gave Sophie in Legacy which was a painting he asked Keefe to make.

I always thought this was shady because, for one thing, he completely stole Keefe’s idea for a gift. Come on, a painting with a heartfelt message on the back?! That was literally what Keefe gave Sophie in Nightfall. Here comes the actual shady part though: why did he not just go to Atlantis or somewhere and have someone paint it for him? He purposefully asked Keefe to paint the confession scene between him and Sophie when he knows that Keefe likes Sophie. That is so messed up. This is made even worse by the fact that he paid Keefe when literally every elf is born with an unlimited birth fund so it was essentially worthless.

This next example happened in Legacy. I feel like a lot of people forgot about this or kind of swept in under the rug, but I think it is actually very telling of the type of person Fitz is. I am talking about when Fitz decided to search Lord Cassius’s mind to learn anything about where Alvar might be after he got away in Flashback.

There are several shady things about what happened in this scene. First of all, Fitz decided to do this even though he knew that it would make Keefe uncomfortable (Fitz would see the abuse/trauma Keefe suffered at home). Secondly, Fitz did this without even asking Keefe first or even letting him know about it. If you recall, he literally just showed up at Keefe’s house without any warning. Lastly, he tried to lie about it too. He tried to say “I’m doing this for Keefe” and “whatever I find will be helpful for Keefe”. Give me a break, we all know he did not do this out of concern for Keefe and he was caught lying in the act by Keefe himself. *I find it funny how he tried to lie about it to Keefe, when Keefe is literally the strongest empath in their world and is literally so smart even though he does not get enough credit for it.

2. When he gets mad at Sophie, the first thing he does is belittle her or try to make her feel stupid:

This first example comes from Exile when Fitz was getting mad at Sophie about what happened to his dad. Now, a lot of people like to dismiss how Fitz acted in this situation because he was under a lot of stress, but I do not think this is right to do because it absolves Fitz of any guilt instead of addressing how his behavior was wrong. The specific scene I am referring to is when, I believe, Alvar suggests that maybe Sophie can help Alden and then Fitz responds with: “Please, she’s just a kid.” What I get from this statement is that he is making Sophie feel less than, and in the process he is putting himself above her “level”. Now, one can use the excuse that he wasn’t himself and that he was torn up with grief, but he says similar things to Sophie later on in the series (when his dad is not on his deathbed) which I mention below.

This next example happens towards the end of Legacy, just before Fitz and Sophie broke up. Sophie was defending her decision to search Lord Cassius’s mind for any important information even though Fitz was already doing that (she honestly didn’t even need to do this because everyone knew he was getting nowhere and that he would never have found anything useful). Anyway, Fitz responds with: “So you thought the Moonlark needed to swoop in and take over? The leader of Team Valiant? Lady Sophie Foster? The fact that he is trying to make her feel bad about her accomplishments is a major red flag in my opinion. As someone who supposedly cares about her more than anyone, he should feel the most proud of her successes.

This third example is from Stellarlune. It’s when Fitz and Sophie have their first telepathy session after the whole “Fitzphie’s not a thing!” debacle. So, Sophie is asking Tiergan what a Cognate Inquisition is and then here comes the interjection: “Better question,” Fitz jumped in using a smug tone that made [Sophie] wish one of the buttons on her telepathy chair would turn Fitz’s into an ejector seat and launch him out of the room. “Why were you hoping to spare us from it?” I just think this is unnecessary and uncalled for; why is he trying to embarrass/ one up her in front of their mentor? (Did he forget that he is the one who joined her session, not the other way around?)

3. The last major issue I have with Fitz is the fact that he guilt trips Sophie and Keefe a lot. And, just so everybody is aware, not about minor stuff. He tries to make them feel guilty about things that are completely out of their control, and as you are reading these examples I just want you to keep in mind that elves are not equipped to handle guilt. Their mind can literally shatter if they feel too much of it (like Alden), and that’s why I think it is so horrific every time Fitz does stuff like this:

Everybody knows this one, but I am still going to put it here because it is worth mentioning. In Exile, Fitz blamed Sophie for his dad’s mind shattering. I have seen a lot of people try to say it is justified because he was going through a lot at the time, but I disagree. I think we can all agree that just because someone is going through a tough time (no matter how tough it may be), it does not give them the right to bully an innocent person.

Moving on, in Flashback, towards the end of the book Fitz makes everyone search for Alvar because he thinks he is up to something shady. When they find Alvar and question him, Keefe says that he can tell that Alvar is telling the truth. Then Fitz retorts, “Like you could tell with your mom?” In this remark, he is referring to the fact that, before she revealed her betrayal, Keefe had no idea that his mom was evil. This made me so angry on Keefe’s behalf because everyone already knows that he blames himself for everything that his mom is doing. With every revelation about his mom’s plan he sees how much worse things truly are, and that sends him into a downward spiral of guilt. For his “best friend” to say this to him is so messed up.

This is not another example, just my own thoughts about what I said above so you can skip it if you would like. I never understood why people (namely the Councillors) expected Keefe to know that his mom was evil. For one thing, his parents are literally known for never showing any physical or emotional affection to him. So, how is he supposed to be able to read his mom’s emotions if he never is close to her? Secondly, I think people are forgetting that as an empath he can only read people’s emotions. He does not know the reason why they are feeling the way that they do unless he has context. Lastly, his mom was literally erasing his memories left and right so whatever information he could even manage to glean would be wiped from his mind. Meanwhile, Fitz is literally a telepath, and he had no idea his brother was evil (and I assume he must have read his brother’s mind at least one time) so I think he needs to lay off the judgment.

In Legacy, Gisela leaves a note for Sophie to bring Keefe to Loamnore during the “showdown” (or whatever you want to call it). Anyway, Sophie does not want to do this because it is obviously a trap, and Keefe gives in and agrees to stay behind. When he makes this decision, Fitz says, “Wow, you really hate Tam that much? Because he’s the one who’ll pay the price if you’re not there—you get that right?” Is it just me or does that not sound so condescending? All I can say to this is how does he have the nerve to blame Gisela’s actions on Keefe, especially when Keefe is one of the people working the hardest to stop her? Also, it is crazy that Fitz is guilt tripping Keefe for deciding not to be bait and leaving his life in the hands of his (crazy) mom. I’m sure it’s easy for Fitz to say that because he is not the one who is being targeted by an evil mastermind who wants to experiment on him.

This last example happened in Stellarlune, so it is is quite literally very recent. Fitz and Sophie are in the school cafeteria, and they are disagreeing about next steps to take to stop the Neverseen. In that conversation Fitz says, “But sometimes it feels like you don’t realize that it’s only a matter of time before something you do gets someone else killed?” In my opinion this is a completely unfair statement to make against Sophie. First of all, since the beginning of the series she never wanted her friends involved in the fight against the Neverseen because she wanted to keep them safe. However, her friends (including Fitz) would not take no for an answer and insisted on helping. Secondly, Sophie is always going above and beyond (risking her life) to save that of others. Both times when she almost died fixing her abilities, she endured it all for the sake of becoming stronger and protecting her friends, family, and her world. That is why I think the way Fitz is trying to make her feel guilty, and put the entire weight of people’s lives on her shoulders, is so unjustified. She is literally a young girl trying to do her best to save her world from crazy powerful villains, cut her some slack.

If you made it to the end, thanks for reading. Honestly, there are many more examples that could be brought up that I’m sure a lot of you are thinking about, but I am too lazy to write all of that. I just wanted to share my thoughts because I have been seeing some people say that Fitz has had good character development throughout the series (which I just have not seen) and does not deserve all the hate so I just wanted to share why I believe Fitz is viewed the way he is by a majority of the Keeper fandom.

[azureflight]

Oshi no Ko's ending is unironically indefensible

Yes, I said indefensible. And I am going to prove it.

There are essentially two angles with which some people are trying to justify this ending, and neither of these work. The first one is this:

"This is a heroic sacrifice. Aqua has to die to protect Ruby. It's so sad and noble. Not every story has to have a happy ending you know?"

Why doesn't this work? Because Aqua doesn't have to die. There are a million and one ways to get rid off Hikaru and protect Ruby, that doesn't require Aqua to die. What's worse is that Aqua himself knows this. This isn't some hidden knowledge only revealed to the audience but kept from the character himself.

He has two willing and capable accomplices in Akane and Ichigo. He knows that they are. These two have worked with him in various different times, cooperated to protect Ruby, and have multiple times affirmed their desire to kill Hikaru/help Aqua/protect Hoshino twins. Akane has done so as early as their fake relationship days and Aqua knows, for a fact, that she means business. He know he can rely on them, and he knows they want to help.

And imagining a workable plan/conspiracy without killing Aqua, is not hard, not even for the average audience. People get away with murder all the time in real life. Only 50% of murders in the US are solved, and Japan itself is notorious for recording everything as "suicide" unless they catch the killer standing next to the corpse with bloody hands. And there is nothing in Oshi no Ko setting to imply a more cut-throat law enforcement or a more rigorous investigative prosecution.

Officials never bothered to dig deeper into Ai's murder. They went with "oh this crazed fan murdered her because she had kids, and then killed himself, case closed." They never bothered to figure out how in the hell did that guy figure out her address, or whether he had any accomplices or not.

People didn't even know Gorou was killed. There wasn't even a real missing person's case about him. This 30 something doctor disappeared without any warnings and everyone went "oh well, that happens." If it wasn't for the crow goddess intentionally leading Ruby and Akane to the corpse, no one would ever find out about it. And of course, they had zero leads. They will only ever solve it, if they can, because of Niino's confession. Guess who trapped Niino and got that confession our of her? Spoiler alert: Not the police.

Indeed, Aqua's own suicidal plan rests on the assumption that police will look at only the most superficial of evidence and go for the simplest answer.

They could have killed Hikaru, bury his body in a ditch and make it look like he skipped town after Niino got caught and started singing. Combined with increased public scrutiny due to the movie, it would be an extremely easy sell and the simplest answer to reach for. This is just one plan those 3 could have gone with. Spare a moment, and I am sure you all can come up with plenty more workable plans.

So what happens if Aqua's sacrifice is actually completely unnecessary? Well, then his death becomes meaningless, pointless suicide. He had a million options, and instead he chose to kill himself because???? Because he would rather die than spend another moment listening to Akane? He really dislikes talking to Ichigo he would rather die? The prospect of dating Arima Kana was so repulsive he wanted to just end it here?

Dumb, and meaningless. Not a heroic sacrifice, but a worthless suicide, by a moron.

The second excuse, tries to rationalize the suicide angle. It goes like this:

"Aqua was a depressed, suicidal guy, and in the end he fell victim to his demons. He just couldn't heal. It's a terrible tragedy. Not every story has to have a happy ending you know?"

Why doesn't this one work? Because at this stage in the story, Aqua isn't actually depressed or suicidal. You read that one correct. I am not saying he shouldn't be, I am saying he isn't.

We had our suicidal, depressed Gorou/Aqua. We had him since the start. But the story developed him towards healing. First we saw that Aqua can actually be freed from his guilt and be happy, during the time he though his father was already dead. He was unburdened and free, happy to continue his life instead of being without purpose and feeling an even deeper void.

And later, deep in the movie arc where he was all but hellbent on self-destructing to take down Hikaru, he was once again pulled from the brink, truly this time. Ruby-Sarina reveal was the start of it. That gave him a sense of duty to survive.

Afterwards we have seen that the personification of his guilt, self-loathing and lack of self-worth, the shadowy apparition of Gorou, turned into a normal guy. A chill, a bit jokey, supportive guy even. He has forgiven, not only himself, but the very target of his vengeance. He wasn't merely thinking or trying, he had actively forgiven Hikaru and put it all behind.

We have him enjoy a regular day with Ruby, go on a date with Kana, and repeatedly express desires about the future including education and career. Indeed, even as he is pulling the knife committing to his plan, he shares his hopes for his own future, his desire to live, all the things he wants to do and experience. Aqua who stabbed himself and jumped off with Hikaru, was not a suicidal depressed dude.

Indeed, the story is trying to frame this as heroic sacrifice, not mindless depression fueled suicide. And I have already explained why that angle doesn't work neither.

So the only two potential ways that this ending could have worked, were botched. The heroic sacrifice doesn't work, because it is unnecessary. Depressed guys kills himself doesn't work, because he is not like that anymore.

Could the story make either of these two endings work? Sure.

You want a "heroic sacrifice"? Than do a real heroic sacrifice. Make Aqua die fighting off some guy who was attacking Ruby. Make him stand on the way of a knife or jump in front of an incoming bullet targeting her. Whatever you do, just make it so him dying is actually a consequence or necessity of her survival, and not some needless, mindless suicide.

You want a "depressed suicidal guy cannot heal and succumbs to his mental illness" story? Then remove the parts showing his recovery. Show that ghastly shadow continues to haunt him and taunt him. Show that he has no real plans for the future. Show that he avoids contact with people and pursues no joys, only the "mission". Don't have an entire chapter where he talks about how much he wants to live and how much he has to live for from his own mouth.

But truly, nothing exposes a botched ending, as well as putting it side by side with a successful one. And bittersweet, tragic, sad, dark, bleak endings, are neither rare, nor impossible to pull off. Indeed, there are a plenty, and the only polite reason I can think of why anyone would defend Oshi no Ko's ending, is that they are young and have not yet been exposed to the giant canon of anime, manga movies, games, tv shows and books out there that do it right. So I am now going to give bunch of successful examples and yes, to simply share them is to spoil their ending, but it is no issue. Their watch value is not reduced by knowing. Indeed, if you go in armed with the knowledge of the kind of ending that awaits you, you might pay greater attention to how its built up. Who knows, maybe you'll learn something.

SPOILERS FOR VARIOUS MOVIES AND A TTRPG ACROSS DECADES

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Do you want a story where a man tries to fight off against a corrupt system or a terrible conspiracy, but all of his efforts are in vain and it all ends horribly?

The Parallax View (1974), Blow Out (1981)

Do you want a story where the bad guy wins, there is no resolution for anyone, and all the struggles of the hero is for nothing in the end?

No Country for Old Men (2007), Chinatown (1974)

Do you want a story where people with self-destructive habits cannot let go of their ways, cannot heal, cannot rise above their failings and then meet tragic ends?

Requiem for a Dream (2000), Uncut Gems (2019)

Do you want a story that acts like it will follow the typical mystery/investigation thriller formula, only to reveal in the end that the usual and expected win and vindication for the hero will be no where to be found?

Seven (1995), Arlington Road (1999)

Do you want a story, that has a mostly comedic setup and tone, but slowly builds tension in the background before it all comes crashing down in the complete tragedy for everyone in the final act?

Parasite (2019)

Do you want a story where a morally compromised, emotionally damaged anti-hero tries to protect a child, whose naive crush he cannot reciprocate?

Léon: The Professional (1994)

Do you want a story where the hero intentionally gets himself killed by the bad guy, because that's the only true way he can defeat the villains and protect the innocents?

Gran Torino (2008)

Do you want a story with a pair of twins who share a strong and loving sibling bond, have a dead mother, a shit father, a vengeance to seek? One that has a bittersweet ending, complete with a beautiful romance cut tragically short?

Critical Role Campaign 1: Vox Machina (2015-2017)

[mommyownsmee]

My dom (he's my boyfriend) had told me that he's a sadist and that it would be the best for us to try out several things like whipping, verbal humiliation, anal etc. I was not entirely enthusiastic about them all and told him that I would need some time to try these things out and a lot of mental preparation. I don't know if that makes me weird but I need a lot of time, established trust and mental preparation to actually engage in these things. He agreed initially but did absolutely nothing to prepare me for any of that. Instead, he pressured me over the course of several days to finally do these things. I was reluctant but he didn't give up asking. With some activities, I reluctantly agreed after he kept pressuring me to do them. With other activites, it was the case that he just did them without prior discussion. It was uncomfortable in both scenarios. For example, yesterday during sex, he pushed his dick into my ass and I was screaming in pain. Afterwards, he shrugged it off & told me that he just confused both holes. Recently, he amped up the verbal humiliation and impact play and never performed aftercare. It was hard to distinguish for me if it was just role-play or the reality. During play, among other things, he told me t have nothing to offer to him, not even sex. He . that I'm worth less than an actual "human sex toy". I was surprised that he just said that as a form of "foreplay" before the sex happened. It really hurt me. His words and actions really cut to the core and devastated me. Since then, I can't properly eat and sleep, I've started isolating from everybody else and feel totally worthless. Essentially I feel broken and like a ghost. I've told him about this but he said that l'm just too sensitive and that I shouldn't be a bitch about it. He shrugged his shoulders and said: "You knew what you were getting into. This is the way BDSM is." BTW: there has been some misunderstanding here about it. I was pressured into some sex acts like the whipping. But most of the time, I wasn't even pressured, he just straight up did what he felt like doing. The unexpected anal which occured without consent is an example of this. What do you think about it? Should I continue seeing my dom? Am I really too sensitive and bitching about it? The problem is that I feel extremely bonded to my dom and I feel like I'm worth nothing without him. I am in love with him and so far I've always looked up to him. He took care of me when I was depressed and lonely. I never felt so dependent on somebody before I met my dom. But yeah, the thought of breaking up with him scares me immensely. Like I said, I feel like I cannot live without him.

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THIS ANON IS ABOUT HETEROSEXUAL SEX

AND CONTAINS THEMES LIKE RAPE AND ABUSE.

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After I took several hours to calm down, I finally managed to word what I think (This will be a long answer):

My dom (he's my boyfriend) had told me that (…) it would be the best for us to try out several things like whipping, verbal humiliation, anal etc.

It "would be best"? Best for who? For him? Did he bother to ask what you would like to try? Why does he get to decide what's best for the two of you as a couple? A relationship is a two-way street, even a Dom/Sub relationship, and should consider the needs of both parties.

I (…) told him that I would need some time to try these things out and a lot of mental preparation. I don't know if that makes me weird.

This does not make you weird. This makes you human. The way that you're trivialising your own needs here tells me that he has convinced you that your boundaries are less important than his, which is not the case. Both of your needs are equally important.

(…) He pressured me over the course of several days to finally do these things. I was reluctant but he didn't give up asking.

This is a tactic commonly employed by abusers. It's called sexual coercion, which is unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced in a physical way, and it is a crime. It has other names, like sexual assault or rape. I have been a victim of this myself, and I know that, at the time, I felt like maybe it wasn't as big a deal as I was making it out to be because I said yes. But think about it in non-sexual terms. Have you ever seen one of those true crime documentaries where an innocent person winds up in jail because the police just kept badgering them in the interrogation room until they finally confessed to a crime they didn't commit, just to make it stop? It's the exact same principle.

For example, yesterday during sex, he pushed his dick into my ass and I was screaming in pain. Afterwards, he shrugged it off and told me that he just confused both holes.

Imagine if you were the one with the penis in this scenario. Even if it was an accident (which I doubt), wouldn't you be horrified that you had accidentally hurt your partner? Wouldn't you want to stop and make sure they're okay? Any person with an ounce of empathy or compassion would. The fact that he shrugged off your pain tells me that he cares more about his own pleasure than he cares about you as a human being. This man is dangerous.

During play, among other things, he told me that I have nothing to offer to him, not even sex. He said that I'm worth less than an actual "human sex toy".

I have used language like this during sex. But do you know what the difference is? I communicated extensively with my partner beforehand, I made sure that it was something they wanted, we established and confirmed safe words (for example, before we began the scene, I told them to tell me their safe words and explain what they mean), I stopped immediately if they used any of said safe words, and we engaged in aftercare where I checked in to make sure they were okay and reassured them that I didn't really think those things about them. Without implementing these basic tenets of BDSM, what your boyfriend said to you was not verbal degradation in the context of a scene. It was verbal abuse, period. Full stop. End of sentence.

His words and actions really cut to the core and devastated me. Since then, I can't properly eat and sleep, I've started isolating from everybody else and feel totally worthless. Essentially I feel broken and like a ghost.

This is completely understandable, given that you have been abused and subject to sexual violence. I am not a psychiatrist, and I am not your psychiatrist, but it sounds to me like you may be experiencing symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It's important for you to know that you are not broken. His goal is to make you feel that way so that you won't leave him. This is not because he loves you. It's because you're easier to control if you feel that you somehow deserve the abuse that he is subjecting you to. You don't deserve it. Nobody does. You deserve to be loved, to feel safe, and to participate in sexual activities that all parties involved consent to. Sex is not something that happens to a person. It's an act of intimacy that involves two or more consenting adults.

(...) He said that I'm just too sensitive and that I shouldn't be a bitch about it. He shrugged his shoulders and said: "You knew what you were getting into. This is the way BDSM is."

Listen to me: You are not too sensitive. He is saying that to try and make you feel like your comfort doesn't matter, like you're being silly for sticking up for yourself. You should be a bitch about it, if "being a bitch" means knowing your value. You are an entire person with your own thoughts, feelings, desires, agency and autonomy over your body, and you deserve to have all of those things respected. Anybody who says you are "being a bitch" for asserting your right to respect is an abuser, and not somebody that deserves the privilege of being with you. Also, I just want to reiterate, this is not the way BDSM is. The Merriam-Webster dictionary partly defines BDSM as "the granting and relinquishing of control". The operative words there are granting and relinquishing. By definition, it cannot be BDSM if you don't both consent to it.

Should I continue seeing my dom?

Absolutely not. He is not your Dom. He is your abuser. You are endangering not only your mental and physical health, but potentially your life if you remain with this person.

The problem is that I feel extremely bonded to my dom and I feel like I'm worth nothing without him. (…) He took care of me when I was depressed and lonely. I never felt so dependent on somebody before I met my dom.

I want you to know that this was an intentional choice on his part. He deliberately targeted and exploited you because he saw that you were vulnerable. He is an abuser, and you deserve so much better. I'm not sure where you are based, but there are organisations who can help people in similar situations.

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MY INBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR EVERYONE OF YOU.

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[sculptorofcrimson]

Down With His Throne

Synopsis: Traitor Valdor, and his endless hunt. His endless hate, for the Shards of his master. Relations: Aquilans x f! Shard A/N: Essentially traitor Valdor trying to kill the Shard, and his musings on his loathing of all Shards of his master.

They know better by now than to let him go.

They know he feeds from fear. Whose fear? Theirs? No, the Custodes do not fear. From Him. From the tip of the Apollonian Spear.

He hates them. He loathes them. He loathes those that wear his master's face like a crown, bearing His resemblance, bearing His glory. Does He not belong to him? Does his glorious servant not have the right to His bones, when there is nothing left of Him? Why should he not reclaim what is rightfully his, rightfully meant for the greatest of the Ten Thousand, why should some pitiable, worthless mortal earn what should have been granted to him? To him to safeguard, to protect, and to fervently worship?

Siphoning memories blow by blow, if only to tear out the last shreds of his lord's sharded soul, if only to drink up His cries and hear 'Oh, Constantin' one last time, even if it's spoken in rage and pain instead of in praise, even if it leaves him broken and aching and so utterly alone afterwards, even if it leaves the traitor that was Valdor wallowing in the misery of his own betrayal. 

Sometimes he kills them in the middle of a life, in the middle of a laugh, a cry, or a sob. He kills them in the middle of being human, a sniper's bullet through the skull or a sudden poison leaked into their goblet. The greatest of the Emperor's assassins, having gone against his vows. Quick deaths never grant him many memories. He never feels alive after those, but he also never feels pain from a quick kill. In the scant moments he feels human, the weight of his betrayal finally sinks in and he knows despair, he knows pain and hate and vicious denial until the obsessions and the heartlessness sinks in again and he feels nothing at all, not even despair at what he had become.

It was Horus' poisoned gift to him. The Archtraitor's greatest and final laugh. Enough mind to be human, yet not enough to care.

His brothers will try to stop him. Sometimes they almost succeed. Havadur Csarthal. That fool. He saved her, the seventh shard, he dove in front of the Apollonian Spear's blade and held Valdor down with the dying remnants of his corpse as the Emperor's newest incarnation fled from his blade, he had gazed Death in the eye and spat in its face. He had refused to scream as the Apollonian Spear flayed him skin from flesh, slow and deathly quiet, refusing to cry out and bring more brothers to the same site of his death even when he could see the red glimmers of their eye lens, even when he knew if he screamed, they would undoubtedly dive down and try to save him. And so he had refused to even cry out as he was bled by a thousand small nicks of the Apollonian blade, he refused to scream as Valdor tore every last shred of a life from his mind and drank up the ragged humanity remaining in his marrow. He had saved his charge, he had saved her for the price of himself and the price of dying a slow, ignoble death without even pity, and it was enough. For an Aquilan Shield that sacrificed himself, it was enough.

He was the first of many Aquilans.

The Siegebreaker, the Traitor Captain, the First of the Custodes, he had done his utmost to make sure Csarthal died a heartless, ignoble, merciless death. That he died, worthless, screaming into the hollow void. He turned his grave into a traitor, he made sure his name would be remembered with nothing but scorn and loathing, he made sure to betray his name in death as he had never betrayed in life. Scorned, loathed, shunned for consorting with the First of the Ten Thousand, one of the many Custodes who stood idly by as he lowered the blade. Havadur Csarthal would be remembered with no more kindness than the Companions that had still bowed, reverent, obedient, when he had first betrayed them all, when he had lowered the walls and shields of the Imperial Palace and broke the Siege of Terra with traitor hands. When he alone had broken the Palace's walls, and welcomed in Horus' hordes.

His sacrifice had robbed Valdor of his kill. He will bleed all traces of honor from his death. No light, no rest, and no mercy. The Custodes will remember him as nothing but an incompetent fool, without a single trace of success, dying a voiceless demise at a traitor's hand. And should she ever call out in disgrace, swearing her bodyguard had died to save her, the shard would have to break the vow of silence her beloved Aquilan had died to maintain.

If he still had the ability to enjoy such cruel ironies, he would have smiled at such bitter humor. It was their ugly secret, between him and her alone, known to them both how he had truly died, but if she wished to tell the golden the truth, he would know. He would know she had lived after all, and the golden would hunt her down, both the Traitor and his loyal brothers, they would hunt her down and this time he would be truly sure that Csarthal Havadur's sacrifice had meant nothing. Nothing at all. 

He believed that one shard would live, sneaking away onto an Agriworld where she had cast away her laurels and lived quietly. She would fall in love with a Commissar, and pass away peacefully in her sleep at the ripe age of three hundred and seventy two, surrounded by her great-grandchildren. 

That secret had died with her. Only he knew, and as of his words, none would tell. None would see the scar Havadur had clawed into his back, none would hear how he had roared as the Aquilan clung on with a dying man's embrace and screamed at his charge to run, to run from the beast that was once a glorious captain. To run, and never once look back upon them both. None would know he had died resolutely, without even uttering a scream, as the Apollonian Spear wrenched free from soft tissues and tangled bones, its edge now dull from hacking through auramite. 

In the grand scheme of things, Aquilan's sacrifice had truly meant nothing. Nothing at all.

But sometimes they would fail to stop him. 

Sometimes he would catch one alone, away from their bodyguards, away from their guns and their knives and their spears. He could lure them away, with such cold, cold determination, Apollonian Spear swinging, ticking, pawing at the earth beneath his feet like a pendulum as he waits, and wanders, waiting for the shard to fall. The spear blade occasionally dipping, accidentally slicing through the ragged silk of his tabard or through the chains wandering over his armor, nicking his armor just enough to reawaken images of the previous owners of his auramite, just enough to dream of the past before the blade swings back, waiting, waiting. Waiting for them to stumble, stagger, finally tumbling to a halt. Watching that beautiful, golden light of his lord's reincarnation finally die out, that love of humanity stamped to ash and bone when they realize the Aquilans can't save them. When they call out, and hear nothing back. 

Those ones die in languish silence, without even a word. Dying thinking they were betrayed, dying entombed on a throne, thinking they were never truly loved enough. Thinking they were abandoned, left to die by the Aquilans when the Yellow King caught them in his grasp, dying in his arms as he drank and tore the memories of his master from their bones. The cold, almost joyous revelation from each sip of his lord's memories he steals, dreaming of Him through His corpse, sinking in His love, if only for a moment, if only for a sweet, addictive taste of ichor leaking from a single shard's broken corpse. Just enough to keep him dreaming, make him feel human for once, before it is gone and the last light of his lord trickles away from truly shattered remnants and he casts them aside, wandering on, always moving, never returning. 

Always onto the next one, with just enough madness left in him to head on to the next, and the next, and the next. It is the hunt that must never end, the thirst that will never be quenched. The True Blood Games, played out through an arena without walls and without boundaries, where the only prize was his master's skull, cracked open and leaking time over his bloodstained palms. Lapping up the dregs of His dreams, inhaling His humanity and His love, basking in His stolen radiance before it fades and he digs deeper, slices further, bleeds the shards more and more just for a taste of His dream. Just for a little more, a little more of His love that the fallen captain will never feel again.

Sometimes they sacrifice themselves. Sometimes, they die meaningless, worthless deaths. Sacrificing themselves in a vain illusion of glory. Valdor crushed those ones down, cutting into them with no less steel than if they were lambs. Sometimes, he whispers the true uselessness of their sacrifice in their ear when he sinks in the Apollonian Spear and drinks in the tattered soul-weave of his master. He speaks to them of how he lied to them, how he promised to spare so and so if they would surrender. How he promised, but how he lied, how he had no concept of honor and no concept of denial, and when they finally perished, he shall have no concept of honor either. They sacrificed themselves, they died, and it was worth nothing in the end. Not even a few seconds of respite from his blade.

And sometimes the shards don't even die. He cripples them, he leaches perfection from their bones, he strips away the very core that had His essence intertwined, and leaves the broken, rotting mess behind. Unable to walk, to move, to even weep, stripped away of all that made them live. A husk, without even a soul, or a mind, or a memory. No past, no future, just a silent, sobbing ghost, broken so utterly beyond repair. The living dead, haunting the Aquilans. A corpse staring them in the eye and begging for death, a mewling corpse with their heart torn out and crushed beneath golden boots, just like what He did to him. Just like how He took his dreams and crushed them, and now he shall deal unto His shards as He has dealt upon him. How he tears out their core and laps up the fragments of the Emperor, and leaves nothing but ghosts behind.

Nothing. Nothing left of him now. Not even enough left to hate.

When the rush of exultation fades, it leaves nothing behind. Not even a shallow pain, not even a sorrowful keening, simply an voracious ache, a hollow so empty not even despair could fill it. It was the cries of a long-broken heart finally imploding under its own weight, crying out for justice and finding nothing back. It was a body built to be loved by a god, built to throw itself on the altar of sacrifice, now starved of the one thing that had made its life worth living. When the once-doting hand had turned striking, when he could no longer lap adoration from the hand of his king, he learned to lick it off of His fingerbones. He learned to chew it off of the scraps of His skin and gnaw open marrow for the scraps of His essence, for the split, scant moments of joy, of purpose, in a life devoid of all else. When He had starved him of all that had made him worth existing in the first place, what else was there but to scrabble uselessly, to tear away dregs of His dream, just for the split moment of being loved? Of feeling loyal, even once, when you know you have betrayed Him beyond even death itself?

He had betrayed the Emperor once. He will do so again. 

Sometimes, he can actually lure them away. The eight shard fell to deception. Promise him so sweetly that he'll seek redemption, promise him that His favored servant surely couldn't leave Him forever? Surely he'll see the light, if only he'll let him in, if only he'll promise not to scream, if only he'll promise to take him in like he had taken in the Custodes.

He should have known better than to trust a traitor.

The only rewards of tolerance are treachery and betrayal.

He had betrayed the Emperor once. He will do so again. 

When he cleans the Apollonian Spear from the splatters of the shard, when he sinks deeper into that reverie of Emperor-laden memories torn from the shard, he can almost feel a smidgen of regret for what he had become. For taking all he could from a naive, innocent man and laying him to death for the soul of a man he loved(no, hated?). For a sin he both loathed and adored and was so utterly loyal to, for the Emperor tore out his ability to hate His abuse. For the pain he adored to damnation, for the sin, for the brief high of being in His love. He had loved him, yes? He had loved him, but it wasn't enough, it is never enough, the shards must bleed, they can only bleed, it's their only gift to die before the Apollonian Spear and feed the mind of an assassin that killed for love, and killed because he hated. They were his master, they were his master once upon a time, but he cannot let them live. He cannot let them be, he cannot spare them from the Apollonian edge, when all he feels is sanctity whenever he butchers them back to the grave His lord resides.

'Oh, Constantin.' he hears Him sigh. 'Look at how far you've fallen.'

~~~

The Aquilans despaired after the last death. They had deluded themselves into thinking she would be different, that the boy that had naively trusted the monster the first time was a mistake.

It was not.

It was the Order's eleventh loss by then. A blow to their morale, and a blow to their pride. The Emperor had died before Horus. His remnants had died before His own captain. They curse his name, they curse his spear, they curse his stitched-together-armor built from the raiments of his brothers, but most of all, they curse themselves for failing Him again. And again. And again, as the monster clad in scraped-together auramite kills them again and again, always with cold, swift zeal, without err, and without deviation. He never lets them live. He cannot let them live. There is no respite, no mercy and no rest. For those that caught the rage of his eye, there is only death.

They stand in meaningless, sullen vigils. Shield-Captain Lehievin, the Leviathan of Terra, only watchers over their latest charge's grave with an ashen face and a grim scowl. The failed bodyguards rustle in quiet, aimless rituals, dropping flowers over the upturned dirt, draping veils over her portraits, burying the bloodstained laurel with infinite reverence. Their cloaks, when they turn, are full of tears. It would have been kinder if they had lamented. It would have been crueler if they had sobbed and screamed and lashed out at one another for their failure. Anything but the silent penitence they face, tears coating immaculate auramite, giant golden gauntlets carefully scooping out the dirt and replacing it over the new grave. Knowing the monster is listening to their cries, knowing the monster is reveling(or at least as close as he can to revel) in their charge's death. Knowing he will kill again, unrestrained, unchained. 

And knowing their next charge would end much the same.

'Shield-Captain.' Magtanggol bows his head. Lehievin barely turns to greet him. 'Shield-Captain.' he tries again, and Lehievin shakes his head in an irate motion, finally jerking around to meet him.

'Speak.'

'The next shard is predicted to be in the Sol system already, Shield-Captain. We will have to move fast to intercept her.'

Lehievin considers the news with no grand expression. The corpse was barely cold in its grave, and yet now the Monster was already trying to set his rifle's sights on the next.

'When?' he finally responds.

'Another twelve years. Long enough for her aging to finally noticeably stop, and around the time the first...mutations of His begin to occur. We will have to deploy rapidly, before he settles into the adjacent systems. We will have to conceal all evidence she had ever been at all.'

'And the Captain?'

Magtanggol smiles cruelly. His handsome features, as sharp and as weathered as marble statues, were highlighted by the gaunt grimace of his smile. 'He won't know. Not if we obscure the paranormal occurrences this time too.'

Lehievin considers this for a moment. He heaves a sigh before replying.

'It is rare,' he begins. 'when a charge re-appears before even a century has passed.'

'Her death was particularly swift. A single bolterround through the next. The Apollonian Spear's wounds were not numerous. I suspect he did not have enough time to...erase and eradicate all traces of our lord from the corpse before we descended upon him. Our lord's essence may have fled. Departed for a better host, shall we say.'

'Departed...' Lehievin murmurs. 'It is such an ugly word.'

'As I agree, Shield-Captain.'

'And how sure are you about this news?'

'Quite. The Astropathic signals match.'

'You do know that so close to our current system, the Captain will likely have prepared for this, yes?'

Magtanggol smiles humorlessly. This time, there were teeth in that grin. 'Oh. Yes. Certainly. But we have no option but to try, do we not? We still have time. He doesn't know yet. Our communications take time to run, even for the Custodes, and even if he intercepts us now, we will reach her much swifter than he can dream of. And besides. Do you see another option, Shield-Captain? A single alternative, but to endure?'

Did they truly have no option, but to hope, to grasp, and to endure? Yes, they truly didn't.

Lehievin looks away, leaning heavily against his guardian spear. For a moment he looked like an old man with a crutch, wistfully looking into the sunset and wishing he was a young man again, when oceans were still unburnt and brothers yet unbetrayed. Finally, he snarls one last time at the grave. His fingers close tightly upon the spear's haft as he whips around to face his lieutenant.

'Very well, Magtanggol.' Lehievin returns Magtanggol' grin with a soft, yet surprisingly bitter, smile. 'We deploy at dusk. Notify the Aquilan Shield Captain-Commander. We have found our second charge. The Shield-Company will not let Him die.'

No. Never. Never again.

Because, in truth, what other choice did they have, but to hope, to beg, and to fight against the inevitable?