#and he would help him improve his Fjerdan

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

*schemes ways to push the Wylan & Matthias are best friends agenda*

[kasagia]

Innocent

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: You're not like the other Grishas. It took you some time to master your power, but you're still unsure of your control over it. That's why it scares you when you're chosen for a special mission in Fjerda. Luckily your general cares about all his people... or at least about you... actually way too much, but you're not going to complain at all. Requested by: @dreampissybaby I hope you like it! 😊💙🖤 Warning(s): the reader is unsure of herself; the reader does not want to kill (but is ultimately forced to for Aleks); blood; mentions of murder; sharing body heat, Aleks comforts the reader; Words count: 5,7 k ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

The time has come. Your first mission.

You spent years in the Little Palace training, going to classes with other heartrenders, practicing under the supervision of Baghra and Botkin. And you had potential. You were the most powerful of all the heartrenders in the Little Palace...

There was only one 'problem' with you.

You didn't kill. Nor control your powers as you should.

You were supposed to be a healer. This is what you always wanted as soon as your Grishas powers as Corporalki manifested. But due to fate and the fact that there was a greater demand for heartenders in the Second Army than for healers, you became someone you did not want to be. You were supposed to take lives, not heal or save them, and you never really came to terms with that.

Not that anyone asked for your opinion. Certainly not Baghra, although she was one of the few who noticed that the problem with mastering your powers was in your head and not due to lack of control or powerlessness. Which didn't mean she didn't give you a hard time at every training session you had. You would rather have Botkin's training than spend your time in that's hag's hut.

That's why you laughed at Fedyor when he told you that he chose you as a replacement for Ivan (who was unexpectedly sent on another mission) as an additional heartrender for their secret mission in Fjerda.

"Very funny. Be careful, you start to adopt Ivan's sense of humor." you say, walking with him towards your rooms after sparring together. However, you start to get a little worried when he doesn't respond to your taunt. "Saints, Fedyor, it was a joke, right?"

"You have to go on your first mission someday. Besides, it will be an easy and simple task. We'll do some spying and go home. A few weeks and you'll be back in the Little Palace, and I promise I'll watch over you."

"Have you lost your mind?! I will get stressed, reveal my powers, and the Fjerdans will skin us faster than you can eat sweets from the palace kitchen." you lament, imagining all the worst-case scenarios.

"Nothing will happen. Besides, general is coming too. With him, no Fjerdans or Drüskells will attack us." you freeze at his words, realising how much worse your situation suddenly is with this one statement.

"What?!" you ask, but Fedyor has already disappeared into his and Ivan's room.

You start to get even more nervous. Since you had relatively completed the most important parts of your training, you were often at either Fedyor's or Ivan's side, 'improving' your skills and getting used to your new role in Little Palace.

This also meant often being near General Kirigan's side. Who was dangerously becoming more and more curious about you (at least that was what Fedyor was telling you in great secrecy.)

And his unexpected interest in your abilities only grew when Ivan blurted out to him that Baghra was also training you to be a healer, not only a heartrender. You don't know if this little act of mercy by the old witch was to help you overcome the internal conflict inside you since you put on the red-black kefta of a heartrender or if it was another one of the woman's ways of ruining others' lives.

Anyway, one day you walked into Kirigan's war room behind Ivan and the Black General's dark eyes, and instead of being glued to the maps and reports in front of him as usual, they were focused only on you. A shiver ran through you as you felt his piercing gaze on you. He seemed to be assessing your capabilities based on the rumours that Ivan and his men had been feeding him. You knew that he was judging how useful you could be to him. You held his gaze for a moment before looking down at the maps on the table, hiding slightly behind Ivan as he began to give him the most important information from the camp closest to the fold.

Since then, you've been seeing him more and more. Be it on your way back from Baghra's hut to the palace, in the library, or even late at night in the gardens or other parts of the Little Palace when you never expect him to appear.

He was always polite and nice. He spoke to you in such a gentle and calm tone, so different from the way he spoke to other Grishas, that it took you a moment to adjust to the soft side he was giving you. You didn't expect that the Darkling would ever be understanding of your insecure, shy nature or try to help you control your powers and come to terms with them by giving you small advice and even giving you accessories from Materialki, which allowed you to feel more confident while using your little science and controlling others hearts, bodies, and minds.

But that didn't matter anymore. Any sympathy or hope he had for you and your powers would end in the coming days when he saw that you were actually a nobody and were only wasting your power, which someone else could better use than you.

You might as well start preparing to be sent across the fold to Western Ravka and certain death at the hands of the volcras.

With trembling hands, you tied your small bag to the saddle of your horse. Fedyor, Zoya, Inferni, and Tidemaker, whose names you didn't know, were also preparing their horses to leave.

You were about to leave the Little Palace in a few minutes. The only person missing was General Kirigan.

Which made you very happy. You had trouble tying that damned bundle so it wouldn't fly off your horse's back. You weren't going to ask anyone for help and show how weak and hopeless you were in the group from the very beginning. You won't be defeated by something like this. If you were going to embarrass yourself, at least in a fight… or at least not before you set out.

But as always, you must have been unlucky.

"What are you doing here?" the general's question didn't make you the only one to freeze. The rest of your companions also stopped what they were doing and now looked at you with interest while you were trying to calm down your beating heart and respond to the Darkling. You turn to him and hold your little bundle of belongings that you failed to tie to your horse behind your back, so he can't see it.

"Fedyor thought I would be suitable for this task and appointed me as a second heartrender, sir." you reply without looking him in the eyes.

"He did?" he asks unemotionally, turning his gaze to your friend. You swallow nervously, waiting for his next words.

"Yes, General. Y/N is doing better and better. It's time to test her beyond the walls of the Little Palace, so she can use her power in a more beneficial way." Fedyor responds as your main "mentor". If you were brave enough to raise your head, you would surely give him a grateful look for the confidence with which he assured the general of your readiness.

"Well then." The general nods. You see him send a stern look at the rest of the Grishas, who are still staring. They immediately go back to their preparations.

You mentally curse as the horseboy leaves the general's horse next to yours. You try your best to ignore him as you continue to tie the damned bundle with trembling hands to your horse. And at the same time, you try to reject the uncertainty and doubts that began to grow even more intensely in you after the general's question.

"I don't see you being particularly excited about your first mission." the general's remark made you turn your head towards him. You shivered as soon as you realised his piercing gaze was directed straight at you. "Nervous?"

"A little." you admit, glad he's not a heartrender and can't hear your heart beating madly. You're about to have a heart attack here... if you don't first make a fool of yourself and cry from helplessness in front of the general. You were so pathetic...

You are brought out of your dark thoughts by the sudden presence of someone behind you. The general's warm, large hands gently take your bundle with your things from your hands and tie it to the horse's side. And if you didn't know better, you'd think he was extending the moment on purpose, just to keep you pressed against his chest, embraced by his arms, a little longer.

"You don't have to." he whispers, responding to your earlier words, and pulls away from you as if nothing had happened. He went to finish his preparations for the road himself, leaving you with the feeling of his warm breath on the back of your neck.

You get goosebumps and feel your cheeks heat up. Your hands tingle in the place where the general's hands were on them a moment ago. And your traitorous mind imagines what it would be like to feel his touch entirely somewhere else.

You shake your head and get on your horse, praying to the saints to help you survive this journey with dignity. Or at least that you'll come back alive. After all, you should keep your expectations low.

Surprisingly, you managed to survive the first week without any relative disasters. It was more than you could expect from yourself. Things may not have gone as you expected, but at least you all managed to ride safely through Ravka to the border with Fjerdans.

But every day you got closer to the border, your fear grew more and more.

You set up camp in the forest, each following your established routine. The General and Fedyor went out scouting, exploring the surrounding areas, when the rest of you were setting up a small camp and trying to hide it from human eyes as much as you could.

You were feeding and watering the horses when you suddenly heard a heartbeat next to you. You didn't even try to explain to yourself how you knew or when exactly you started to recognise General Kirigan's heartbeat. It just happened over time. And you didn't have the courage to admit to yourself that it meant something more.

The general took one apple and gave it to his black stallion, tenderly stroking its muzzle. You couldn't hide your small smile at how gentle he was with his horse (whose name was, ironically, Nightfall).

The black bastard even had his mane braided by him. Not that you watched closely as his hands braided it for the whole 6 minutes before Fedyor noticed and started teasing you about how your heart would go into failure from pumping blood so fast. You had never considered being a horse, but in that moment...

"Anything funny, Captain?" he asks, and if you hadn't learned over the course of this week the difference in the tone of his voice when he was teasing, you would probably have died of fear there.

"Nothing, General." you reply with a smirk, laughing in your head at your own ridiculousness and the stupid attraction you had for him. "How long do we have to be in Fjerda?"

"Until we get what we came here for. But I think it will take us two weeks at most. The Little Palace can't stay unattended for long."

You nod, partially satisfied with his answer. But you can't shake that unsettling feeling that something bad will definitely happen by then. Either you ruin the entire mission or you die miserably at Fjerdans' hands, revealing your powers in enemy territory.

"What's wrong?" His voice breaks you out of your thoughts better than the hand he suddenly wraps around yours. After thinking about it for a while, his touch shouldn't be that familiar to you.

"Nothing, General. I was lost in thought." you lie, trying to hide your insecurities and fear by looking down at your hands because you know he can read people like an open book.

"Don't insult my intelligence. I won't be convinced by such a flimsy excuse, and you definitely have better, more persuading answers." he takes a step towards you and gently grabs your chin, forcing you to look into his piercing, dark brown eyes. "What's the matter?"

"I..." you stutter as you get lost in his eyes, which are studying you so intently, as if the answer to his questions were written in your eyes.

And for a moment, you want to tell him.

You want to say that you are afraid of your powers and that you don't know if you will be able to control them when you are in a critical situation and help others. That you don't know if you'll ever get used to the role you've been thrust into. That you don't belong, and even his soothing presence isn't worth the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty you're going through every day. That you want to be someone completely different, but you know that you can't be a brat and throw away an opportunity that thousands of Grishas in your place would gratefully accept.

But you can't show him that you're broken...

"Y/N. Talk to me." he says  firmly.Worry and concern are obviously written on his face, and it irritates you that you are unaware of what's causing it. That you don't know why he even cares to notice, let alone ask you what's bothering you.

"It's nothing serious. You shouldn't worry about me. I'm perfectly fine, sir." you say it emotionlessly and move away from him. You turn your back at him and start to comb your horse's mane.

But he doesn't give up. He places a hand on your shoulder and holds it in a tight grip, turning you back to face him.

"Something's clearly bothering you. You're going to tell me this now and here. This is no longer a question, Captain." if possible, his eyes will become even darker. But he's not the only one who's starting to get mad. Unlike him, you can't keep your emotions bottled up inside you so well.

"Why do you even care?! I'm just a captain, another one of your heartrenders; you shouldn't care about me at all!" you shout at him, shrugging his hand off your shoulder. Ivan would have a heart attack if he saw you talk with the general.

But Kirigan also seems to forget that you should be more respectful towards him... or maybe he's relieved that you're not as afraid of him as everyone else, and this new revelation is refreshing for him.

"It's not up to you to judge what I should care about. Even a blind person could see that you've been behaving strangely for a week and that something is tormenting you. Your hands tremble more often, you are more silent and paler, you eat less, your eyes no longer shine like they used to when Fedyor teases you, dark circles start to appear under your eyes, and every night I hear you rolling over next to me on your sleeping place. So you are going to tell me now what's wrong, so I can fix it."

His long speech leaves you stunned. You didn't realise that he noticed things like that or that he watched you closely enough to find a difference in your behavior. And what bothered you most was the reason why the Black General knew you so well.

And you probably would have crumbled in pieces there in front of him and poured out all your insecurities and fears on him if the sudden crunch of branches hadn't caught your attention.

You didn't even have time to blink before you were behind the general. He holds your arm with one hand, making sure you stay behind him so he can shield you from any danger. And in the back of your mind, despite how enchanted you were by his closeness, the thought occurs that you should be the one protecting him...

Then he threw his dagger in the direction the sound came from. After a while, a painful groan echoed through the clearing.

"Fedyor?!" you ask and run out from behind the general when you recognise your friend's voice. You disappear behind the trees, finding the heartrender, who was wearing a regular cloak (you had to drop your keftas since you were getting closer to Fjerdans), leaning against a tree and holding his arm where the dagger was embedded. "What the hell?! You scared us!"

"Well, you're not the one with the dagger stuck in you. It was starting to get dark; the others sent me to get you, since we are practically on Fjerdans' territory."

You nod and help him sit on the ground. After a while, the general appears behind you. You see him blush awkwardly, realising who his dagger hit.

"My apologies, Fedyor. You shouldn't have sneaked up on us like that, though."

You take the opportunity to have your back turned to him and roll your eyes at him. While Fedyor is busy answering him, you quickly take the dagger out of him. He hisses in pain and gives you an offended look.

"What? Would you rather I count to three?" you ask sarcastically, pulling back his coat and lifting up his shirt to place your hands on his wound. Blood sticks to your fingers, staining the sleeves of your shirt.

"The last time you did that, you took the arrow out of me before you could count to two." he grumbles as you begin to heal him, the wound tingling unpleasantly as it closes up.

"I don't remember you complaining when I let you eat my chocolate cookies later. At least I wasn't the first to get hurt; you should be proud of me as my mentor." you don't miss the general's quiet chuckle behind you as you taunt with your friend.

"Come on, veteran." he pats Fedyor on his health shoulder. "Let's get back to camp before they send a whole search party after us, shall we?" he asks, his dark irises trained on you, watching as you let go of Fedyor's arm, which is fully healed now.

The general extends his hand towards you and helps you up. He doesn't shy away from grabbing your bloody hand; he holds it even tighter, making sure it doesn't slip away from his grip. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Fedyor give you a significant look. You roll your eyes at him.

"Here." the general says, and he hands you his black handkerchief to wipe the blood from you. But before you can take it from him, he catches your hands in his and wipes the red liquid from your hands himself. "Allow me." he whispers, looking into your eyes. Blushing, you realise that Fedyor is long gone from sight, leaving the two of you alone once again.

"Thank you." you clear your throat, feeling his fingers gently wipe the blood from your hands. And you feel ashamed, admitting to yourself that this simple touch makes you shiver.

"You should change that shirt when we come back."

You look at your shirt and see that it's stained with Fedyor's blood. You wrinkled your nose, knowing this was your last shirt. You will have to stay in it until you reach a village where you can buy a new one.

"I'll be fine," you say, trying to change the subject. You don't want to seem even weaker than you already are in his eyes.

The general frowns but says nothing more as you return to camp. And if he thought you didn't notice that he was still holding your hand and keeping you close to him as he walked lightly in front of you, he was sorely mistaken. You were glad that no one was around to hear your heartbeat and that his fingers avoided the place on your wrist where he could feel your racing pulse.

If anyone else notices that there is blood on your shirt, they don't comment on it. You go through your evening chores, and finally, after hours of driving and being on your feet, you lie down.

You put your small travel bag under your head and are about to go to sleep when suddenly you hear the rustle of fabric falling next to you.

You open your eyes and stare in surprise at the black shirt that is clearly an intruder. A shiver runs through you as you feel someone's burning gaze on you. You look up and see the general sitting a few steps away from you, watching you carefully.

If the delicate, skin-friendly material or colour of the clothes didn't give you a clue as to who they might belong to, then the look in those hypnotising dark eyes that didn't leave you until you took the clothes in your hands was an eloquent suggestion of the shirt's owner.

And after the intoxicating smell that engulfed you as you changed in a secluded place, you were even more overwhelmed by this unexpected gesture, knowing full well that you shouldn't recognise his scent that easily. Or wanting it to stay with you for a long time.

You walk back to camp and ignore the smirk Fedyor gives you as he stands guard by the fire. You lie down in your place and pull the blanket tighter over you, wrapped in a cocoon, with the general's scent wafting around you.

You shiver, feeling the chill of the night despite it. You roll the oversized sleeves of the Kirigan's shirt around your hands, limiting the air from reaching your skin. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the others move closer to each other, taking advantage of the warmth of each other's bodies.

You sigh, realising that it will be a few hours before you can do the same to Fedyor once he stands off his watch. Now you had to endure the cold that was starting to sting your cheeks and slowly seep into your uncovered skin.

You roll from side to side a few times, trying to find the best position to limit your heat loss, until you are stopped by strong arms that suddenly wrap around your stomach and press you against the hard and warm wall. You blush as you realise from the pounding heartbeat behind you that you're pressing against SOMEONE'S chest.

"It's a cold night." he whispers, his warm breath on the back of your neck making you shiver. "Do you mind, milaya?"

You shake your head slowly. You knew that right now you would do anything what he would ask of you. And you were both terrified and excited about that damn exhilarating closeness with him as he was sharing his warmth with you.

"Thank you, general." you whisper into the night, afraid to turn and look at his face lit only by the flames of the fire and the light of the stars, because you know that if you did, you would be lost for good.

You close your eyes, trying to protect yourself a little from your obvious feelings for him—the man you will never truly have.

"Call me Aleksander." he whispers in your ear, making you shiver. He takes this as a sign that you're cold and ends up pressing you closer to him, so that you feel every inch of his body touching you.

He could have anyone. And you knew both yourself and his habits too well to pull the wool over your eyes that you could ever be someone more to him... but that didn't mean you didn't enjoy this momentary attention he was giving you.

You relax and lean into him more as he buries his nose in your hair and falls asleep. His rhythmic heartbeat and breathing, his scent that immediately makes you feel safe and protected, and the warmth that floats around the two of you curled up against each other, lull you to sleep.

After all, it was a cold night. And General, contrary to all the rumours you've heard, turned out to be very warm... at least when he held you protectively close to his chest.

Fedyor watches the two of you with a mischievous smirk, knowing full well that he'll be teasing you with this the next day. He already knew what he would write to Genya and Ivan in his next letters.

Your informant did a good job. He perfectly determined the location of the hidden cellar in the Fjerdans' forest, where their soldiers' base was.

It took you several days to prepare. You were supposed to break in, steal the necessary plans and reports, and get out of there before anyone noticed you. Of course, everything went to hell as fast as it was possible.

At one point, you scattered, each trying to find a way out on your own, when one of the soldiers detected Inferni, who was with you and was using his powers to warm himself up.

You didn't know what happened to him in the end. Or with Aleksander, the rest of the group.

You ran forward, towards the exit you remembered, avoiding all heartbeats along the way.

You're walking down corridor after corridor, corner after corner, when suddenly someone grabs your elbow and pulls you towards him, keeping a hand over your mouth to block out any sound from you. You struggle for a moment until you hear a quiet whisper that haunts you both at night and in your dreams:

"It's me, milaya." you freeze in place at the sound of his soothing whisper in your ear. You turn around, wanting to make sure your mind isn't playing any tricks on you, and sigh in relief when you see Aleksander's concerned face in front of you.

"Where's the rest?" you ask, swallowing, trying to calm yourself down and maintain an appearance of composure in front of him. Even though your heart was now beating like crazy with fear.

"Fedyor and Zoya are outside. I'm not sure about the others." he says, taking your elbow and pushing you to the side of the hall so that you're more shielded from anyone's view. You frown, processing his words while he looks around to see if you can leave your hiding place and continue on your way to the exit.

"You came back for me?" you ask, trying to catch his gaze to read something in his impenetrable eyes.

You see the gears stop in his head, all thoughts of your escape and safety being forgotten as he stares at you, speechless.

You've never seen him like this. No words, no wise comment or answer. He just stood there and stared at you. A blush slowly took over his cheeks, and after hearing his heartbeat quicken, you had never been happier that he had technically forced you to qualify as a heartrender.

"Aleksander?" you whisper questioningly, waiting for any word from him that will either confirm your suspicions and make your wildest dreams come true or make him break your heart more than the most powerful heartrender could ever do.

You hold your breath when, after a moment of internal struggle that is going on inside him for some reason, he takes a step towards you and confidently cups your cheek with his hand.

"Y/N... I... For a very long time... I haven't met someone like you. I've never wanted to meet again. I've lost so many... But you... you make me question everything I promised myself a long time ago."

You see pain and longing in his eyes. You have no idea what he's been through or why he feels the way he does now, but you are sure of one thing. And you are ready to promise him this one thing, regardless of any consequences.

"You won't lose me." you whisper, looking into his teary eyes. He leans forward and rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and inhaling your scent. You shiver as your noses touch, brushing gently.

You open your eyes only to see Fjerdan behind him, pointing a gun at you two. You are both without your keftas, but you know that the Fjerdans know how the Darkling looks like and can recognise him.

You act automatically. You push Aleksander away and link your arms, stopping the man's heart in front of you before he can even put his finger on the trigger of his gun. The body falls to the ground with a thud, and a deafening, terrifying silence reigns in the corridor. The smell of blood irritates your nostrils.

You lower your hands shakily, only to realise that you've done more than stop his heart. The weight of the organ that ripped from Fjerdan's chest and flew straight into your hand weighs on you more than your growing guilt. Your heart falls out of your hands and onto the floor, and you still feel the blood staining your fingers.

You killed someone. You actually killed someone...

The cold permeates your body. You shiver uncontrollably as tears fill your eyes, and you stare at the dead body in shock until Aleksander stands in front of you. He cups your cheeks and pulls you closer to him, making you rest your head on his chest.

"Shhh... It's fine, milaya. We are safe, you saved us both." he whispers into your ear, hugging you even tighter as he presses you against his chest with one arm, and his other hand strokes your hair to calm you down.

"I… killed… I…" you can't stand it. You fall apart completely in his warm embrace, his coat perfectly soaking up both the blood you shed for him and the tears flowing from your eyes that you simply can't stop anymore.

The realisation comes to him with a delay, and you feel him freeze when he hears your words. He is wise. You know that he realises that this was your first... and that you never wanted to do this, and that this was what you feared most when going on this mission with them.

If possible, you sob and tremble even more, aware that soon his soothing embrace will disappear, that he will throw you out of his inner circle, and that you can start preparing to be sent out across the fold and to West Ravka since you have proven to be so useless to him.

But, much to your surprise, he didn't pull away. He didn't make any malicious remarks, and he didn't threaten to throw you out of the Second Army, as he often did in the worst-case scenarios your head could imagine.

Instead, he pulls you as close to him as possible and places a tender kiss on your forehead. You tremble as his hands cup your cheeks and gently brush away your tears before he presses his soft lips there.

"Shhh… I have you, lapushka." he whispers while kissing off your tears. "You did a good thing. He didn't deserve to live, moya milaya. He would have hurt us if you hadn't reacted first. And I gave you my word; this is the last time you have to do something like this." he says, pressing his lips to your tample in a promise.

He tangles his hand in your hair and presses your head against his shoulder. You bury your head between his neck and shoulder as he holds you tightly against him and strokes your back while cradling you.

You cry into him until you run out of tears. He is with you until the very end, silently comforting you with a warm hug and a gentle touch of his lips on various parts of your face.

He places one last kiss on your forehead and cups your cheek in his hand, lovingly wiping the tears from your cheek with his thumb. You instinctively lean into his touch and stand as if hypnotised, staring into his dark irises that look at you with so much affection and care like no one has ever done before.

You don't know who leans in first, you or him, or who is the one who kissed the other first. All you can feel, all you can think about, and all your world is limited to now is him and his soft lips caressing yours as gently as if you were the most fragile thing in the world. As if he was afraid that in any moment you would disappear.

At some point, his kisses became more intense. He tangles his hand in your hair and pins you to the wall, his hand making sure you don't hit your head against the stone wall as he doesn't let your lips leave his for the slightest moment.

He breaks the kiss and pulls away to look at you. You feel your cheeks turn bright red and your lips swollen from his kiss. You clear your throat and shyly look away from him as he watches you intensively.

"We… we should go… the rest are probably waiting for us…" you stutter. He lets out a soft laugh and leans in to steal another quick kiss from you.

"As you wish, milaya. This way." he says, and he grabs your hand, pulling you close to him. His shadows surround the two of you as he wraps his arm protectively around your waist and leads you outside.

When you walk with him with your hands together, you feel complete. Calm. And glancing at your general as he removes any Fjerdans from your path and surrounds the two of you in a protective shield of his shadows, you know that if you went back in time, you would do everything exactly the same.

You wouldn't change anything if it meant you would ultimately end up in the arms of the Dark General. He was worth evereything... maybe even losing your innocence too. Though something told you that he liked taking care of his little corporalki.

[anthony-sharma]

Six of Crows Reread - Ch. 5

Another chapter by our very own Dirtyhands!

_

Chapter 5: Kaz

“One day Rollins would come to Kaz on his knees, begging for help. If Kaz managed this job for Van Eck, that day would come much sooner than he ever could have hoped. Brick by brick, I will destroy you.”

And that day did indeed come, at the end of Crooked Kingdom and in episode 2.04 of S&B. In my opinion, one of the best scenes in the whole show. Freddy embodied Kaz SO WELL in that scene. 

“The boy at the desk was dressed in a creamy velvet suit, a white rose in his buttonhole. He had white hair and eyes the colour of boiled eggs. Barring the eyes, he looked like an albino, but Kaz happened to know that he’d been tailored to match the decor of the House by a certain Grisha on the payroll.

[...]

She had a lucrative side business as a Tailor, seeing to the wrinkles and jowls of the wealthy Kerch, but her chief source of income came from altering moods.”

I think this guy will look really creepy in the show! Also, Nina must not be such a shitty Tailor, if she managed to do that and if she has a lucrative job at it on the side. We learn in the second book that it was Genya who tailored her to look like Mila Jandersdat, but she must have some good enough knowledge of Tailoring (being from the same Order as Tailors) to manage that. 

“A man doesn’t need a bed to get ideas, Nina.”

Nina fluttered her lashes. “What would you know about it, Kaz? Take those gloves off, and we’ll see what ideas come to mind.”

“A man doesn’t need a bed to get ideas” yeah well, as a very wise man once said (more exactly, Archie Renaux in one of S&B’s interviews) “men are trash” so, yeah, there’s that.

Also, I really wanna see Nina flirt with Kaz in the show! We know she flirts with everyone and we saw a glimpse of it with the “Waffles” exchange, but it would be really funny to watch an exchange like this. 

Lastly, I wonder if we’ll see Nina work in the White Rose as she does in the book. She’ll need to find a job as she buys time to free Matthias, so maybe she will?

“The brain is just another organ,” Kaz said, quoting Van Eck.

“Yes, but it’s an incredibly complex one. Controlling or altering another person’s thoughts … well, it’s not like lowering a pulse rate or releasing a chemical to improve someone’s mood. There are too many variables. No Grisha is capable of it.”

Another foreshadowing to what Nina will be able to do under jurda parem by the end of the book. 

“Without being invited, Kaz sat down on the plush settee and stretched out his bad leg. “Jurda parem is real, Nina, and if you’re still the good little Grisha soldier I think you are, you’ll want to hear what it does to people like you.”

She turned the lump of gold over her in her hands, then wrapped her dressing gown more tightly around her and curled up at the end of the settee. Again, Kaz marvelled at the transformation. In these rooms, she played the part her clients wanted to see – the powerful Grisha, serene in her knowledge.

But sitting there with her brow furrowed and her feet tucked under her, she looked like what she truly was: a girl of seventeen, raised in the sheltered luxury of the Little Palace, far from home and barely getting by every day.”

It must be very weird watching Kaz stretching his leg in the same couch that Nina’s sitting it. We are used to seeing him be physically detached from the rest of his team, so even these small moments of “closeness” will be very interesting to watch in the spin-off.

On another note, is Nina not making big money as a tailor. Just a few paragraphs ago it said that she had a lucrative job as one, so now she’s just barely getting by?

“He isn’t hiding out. The Fjerdans have him at the Ice Court.”

Nina paused. “Then he’s as good as dead.”

“The Merchant Council doesn’t think so. They wouldn’t be going to this trouble or offering up this kind of reward if they thought he’d been neutralised. Van Eck was worried. I could see it.”

Later we find out that Van Eck was lying to Kaz because, among other things, he didn’t even have 30 million kruge to spare in case the Crows made it out of the Ice Court. So why did Kaz believe him in the first place? I think it was because all good lies are always embedded with a little bit of truth, so Van Eck showing proof of what jurda parem could do (with the Tidemaker being able to cross walls and the Heartrender’s effects being still visible in the stadwatch members) was the “truth” part, and the “lie” part was him being able to pay them 30 million kruge for the retrieval of Yul-Bayur. Of course, Kaz being the greedy person that he is, and in order for him to fulfill his future plans with Rollins, it was a huge opportunity. Besides, breaking into the Ice Court was impossible so that also presented an extra challenge for him so much so that he was almost powerless to refuse it.

“Don’t put this on the old man,” she snapped. “If you’d wanted to help me, you know you could have.”

“And why would I do that?”

She whirled on him. “Because … because …”

“When have I ever done something for nothing, Nina?”

Except he kinda does? Unless he also has a hidden agenda that we don’t know about. In episode 2.08, after Nina says that she’ll claw her way to a happy ending, Kaz answers with “Let me help you” but like...if he doesn’t do things out of charity, what is his reason?

“That may have been true once, Nina, but it’s been a very long year. Helvar is much changed.”

“You’ve seen him?” Her green eyes were wide, eager. There, thought Kaz, the Barrel hasn’t beaten the hope out of you yet.

“I have.”

I can’t wait for Kaz and Matthias’ first scene together!! And the fact that Calahan and Freddy are so eager for their first scene as well just makes me sure it’ll be great!

So that’s it for chapter 5. Next up, the very first episode of our favorite Heartrender <3

[tryalittlejoytomorrow]

     you hit me with a plot twist, ch.1

Fandom: Six of Crows / Shadow and Bone (TV)

Pairing: Nina/Matthias

Tags: modern setting: college AU; enemies to lovers; meeting on the internet; slow burn

Status: in progress

Summary: Nina and Matthias regularly clash against each other at Debate Club. They might find some common ground if they could stop yelling at each other for more than one goddamn minute.

Extract:

Helvar is doing it again, the absolute prick.

Leaning in, warm, inviting, open - hands on the podium as he keeps his feet planted and stance straight, he looks the picture perfect of oozing confidence, his eyes never straying from the audience, not even to briefly glance at his notes. Nina will give him that: his ideas and opinions might be foul, his whole demeanor has improved a lot over the semester, enough to help the transition from stern soldier to amiable politician that now has their audience riveted as he speaks. He could almost have her fooled.

Almost.

She'll admit it though - the sight is oddly distracting. Nina feels a flush creeping over her skin as she can't help staring at the way his biceps flex as he stands like this, his stupid sleeves rolled up and revealing just as stupid impressive arms. Really, it takes no Nancy Drew to figure out that Helvar is pulling a Captain America here, Fjerdan-style, with that stupid perfect shoulder-to-waist ratio; but Nina is no fool, and she knows that as much as Helvar could easily rival Chris Evans's butt, he's mostly just an ass.

Besides, he'd look ridiculous in Spandex. Probably would burst the fabric open with one toe, the giant oaf.

Read more on AO3!

[mrzovq3]

Book!Aleksander Morozova x FemReader

Part 1

word count: 1086

|| this is the first fanfic I’ve ever written so if you have any tips on how I can improve my writing please feel free to tell me also request for future fics are open ||

btw: reader’s an Inferni and this doesn’t actually follow any plot points from the books/ part 1 is just fluff with a bit of kissing ���

ENJOY!

You were mere seconds from falling asleep right there, in the middle of a war room meeting. You usually love these types of meetings. Discussing strategy, war plans and studying maps are your area of expertise. But today the saints decided it was an amazing idea to make Vasily come up with another one of his so called “brilliant plans” to help win the war and present it in front of the whole council for approval. You didn’t understand why Nikolai would still let him be a part of anything at court since he was king and could easily exile that idiot with his parents but you guessed Nikolai did it for a reason he always does and you trust his judgment.

Recently there have been stronger fjerdan attacks on northern ravkan borders. More attacks meant more deaths, you couldn’t bear the idea of some of your friends laying in a pool of their own blood. Feeling slightly nauseous, you drove your thoughts to Aleksander. You couldn’t wait to get out of this place, fall sound asleep in his firmly protective and welcoming arms and forget about all your problems, even just for a couple of hours.. You were suddenly pulled out of your daydream by one of the councilmen mentioning your name.

“We can send y/n, from what I heard she’s a skilled spy and powerful Inferni I’m sure she’ll get us enough information to make the next move”

“Good then, we’ll send her tomorrow first thing in the morning,” said Nikolai

“Great so much for relaxing” you muttered

“What was that, Miss Ivanov?” asked Nikolai

“I was simply wondering what exactly my mission consisted of?” you lied, trying not to make it sound as if youhaven’t been listening for the past 30 minutes.

“You will be infiltrating one of the main Fjerdan bases, posing as one of them and getting as much information as you can get on their future plans. There have also been rumours of new fjerdan weaponry emerging in Chernast able to take out more than thirty grisha, that’s where we’ll be sending you. If you find any of those, burn them to the ground, understood?”

“Yes Moi Tsar” you nodded.

“Good, this meeting is over” declared the king.

You waited for everyone to leave until it was only you and your best friend.

“Nik why me, you know he won’t like it?” you whined slumping lazily on his expensive and very comfortable velvet chair.

“I’m sure The Darkling can handle his significant other being gone for two weeks”

“You know what I mean, if he finds out where I’m going he won’t let me leave”

“Ah, if he finds out,” Nikolai said with a pointed look.

“Fine but if something happens to me, he’ll have your head for it” you stated half jokingly, standing up to go back to your chambers where a certain shadow prince’s probably waiting for you.

“Then try to stay alive, I’d like to keep my beautiful head thank you very much”

“As much as I’d love to see that happen, I’ll try my best, goodbye Nik” you exclaimed, leaving the war room and heading to your room.

Opening the door, you noticed your room’s shadows slightly thicker. Used to your boyfriend’s antics, you rolled your eyes taking off your red and blue Kefta and flumped face down on your queen sized bed, letting out a long exhausted sigh.

“You know if you want to surprise me you ought to try harder, you’re losing your touch” you said smiling, slowly turning your head towards the corner of your room as a dark figure emerged from the shadows.

“Oh really? I for one thought it was a great attempt” he responded sarcastically, sitting down next to you. You chuckled and moved closer to lay your head on his lap, gazing into his striking grey eyes suddenly feeling more relaxed. He seemed to notice your tensed demeanour earlier, hopefully he didn’t think much of it.

“Long day?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“You could say that” you said drifting your eyes away from his so he wouldn’t notice anything strange.

“Was the meeting that boring?” he asked humourly, shifting his legs slightly.

“They came up with a plan to help the war and they needed a skilled Inferni and spy. Thanks to my amazing reputation I got picked, I’ll be leaving for about two weeks. That reminds me I have to pack my bags,” you said getting up, walking towards your wardrobe, trying to look as if you’re rushing so he wouldn’t ask more questions about it, you hate lying to his face.

“You’re hiding something,” he said, grabbing your wrist firmly and spinning you around to look at him.

“Look, Aleksander, I’m not really allowed to talk about it, you already know too much but I promise I’ll be fine It's nothing I can’t handle. You’ve sent me on worst missions anyways, don’t worry.” you lied, locking eyes with him, trying to get him to believe you. He still looked sceptical but brushed it off.

“Ok, be careful.” he said, lifting your chin up with his hand and brushing his beautiful warm lips to yours. You took a step closer, closing the distance looking at them eagerly finally pressing your lips to his. Running your hands through is soft black hair and deepening the kiss, he lifted your hips locking your legs around his torso. For a moment you forgot all about your problems and melted into Aleksander’s warmth and smiled into the kiss. You missed this, spending time with him just the two of you enjoying each other’s presence. Suddenly, he pulled away despite your pouting and leaned his forehead on yours.

“You should probably rest, when are you leaving?” he whispered, still a bit out of breath.

“Tomorrow morning, can we continue now?” you groaned not wanting to stop, leaning back into the kiss. He drew back almost immediately. He carried you to your bed, laying you down and tucking you in like a child. You were too tired to protest.

“Sleep y/n unless you’d rather pass out in the middle of your job” he said, planting a kiss on your brow.

“Fine, but only because I'm actually tired” you yawned, pulling your covers tighter around you. He gave you a ghost of a smile and left closing the door behind him. You let your thoughts run wild until you slowly drifted off to sleep, you have extremely tiring days ahead of you.

[pink-surftable]

Initials (Pt. 5) | Kaz Brekker

kaz brekker x fem!reader

ps: english is not my first language so if there are some gramatical mistakes i would love if you pointed them out so i can improve.

omg here it is!!!! the last chapter!! once again thank you to everyone who likes and coments i love you so much <3 what a journey it has been lol

warnings: i think kaz is very soft in this one but fuck it we all need soft kaz once in a while.

part 4

summary: after a mission goes wrong kaz does everything in his power to save you.

——————————————————————————

You saw Kaz jumping right into action trying to get you out of your restraints while Inej was desperately trying to hold down Pekka. Y/N felt a wave of relief washing over her.

Her friends were there. Her family.

“Well, well, well it was quite the party in here” Jesper said firing at everything in sight while Nina was using her powers and Matthias ran out to help Y/N “Go with Inej” He shouted at Kaz. He didn’t want to leave you but he knew Matthias could protect you better than he could. He looked at you and as you nodded he picked up his cane and headed straight for Pekka Rollins.

Looking out, Kaz saw he ran off to the streets “Fucking bastard” he thought. But there wasn’t time to go after him. Bullets were firing everywhere and Inej and Y/N were hurt they needed to get out.

Matthias helped you get free, dropping his coat on your shoulders “Take this, you’ll need it” He said noting the state of your clothes. You thanked him “You’ll probably need this too” he added, giving you one of your knives. “Come on, we need to get out of here”

Alarms were ringing and you could see guards running to where you guys were through the windows.

“As much as I’m enjoying this it’s time to go” Jesper shouted over the noise grabbing everyone's attention. Him and Nina started clearing the way while you and Matthias ran after them. The druskelle carrying almost your entire body weight as you leaned into him for support “Kaz come on! Let’s go!” You screamed at him. He was fighting a few guards with a visible rage on his features.

Making your way through the hallways was not an easy task. Guards were firing from everywhere when you heard another explosion. You saw Jesper laugh running towards the sound where you found Wylan. His hair was a mess as he hugged Jesper.

Finally on the streets of Ketterdam you looked around. Seeing all your friends there, alive, free gave you an immense amount of relief.

Shots could still be heard so you had to keep running but you were too tired you didn’t know if you could make it.

Kaz looked into your eyes. He could already sense what was going through your mind when your knees gave out, your back colliding with the concrete.

Matthias looked at you then at Kaz, like asking for permission. When he nodded, the fjerdan picked you up in his arms and started running towards the Slat with everyone else.

Kaz hated it. He hated that he couldn’t help. He hated that he couldn’t give you his coat. He hated that he couldn’t pick you up in his arms. Instead he had to stand and watch another man do what he so dearly wished to do.

——————————————————————————

Arriving to the Slat was like arriving to heaven.

As soon as you guys got there Nina started working her magic on both you and Inej. You knew the amount of effort was draining her but she refused to stop.

Once you both were stable an air of relief filled the place.

Inej went straight to her room to rest.

Kaz told you to go to his room.

Lying down in Kaz’s bed he took a seat next to you on a chair.

“Hey, look at me” you tried to catch his attention “Hey i’m alright. I’m okay. We got out. We’re okay” you desperately wanted to touch him. To reach and grab his hands. To tell him how much you loved him. But Kaz wouldn’t meet your eyes his eyes were trained on something else.

The bright red marks on your skin. His intials.

“Stop that I know what you’re thinking, this isn’t your fault”

“Yes it is. And I hate it. I hate that this happened to you. I hate that I couldn’t come to your rescue sooner. I hate the way that bastard touched you. I hate that I wish that I could push you away. I hate that I’m selfish and even though it’s a constant risk I don’t want you to go anywhere. I hate that I want you to stay with me. I hate that you make me weak. I hate how you make me not hate” Kaz said looking firmly into your eyes. That confession was much more than what you ever expected.

The vulnerability of it all made you weak. Weak cause you thought that confession was beyond anything Kaz Brekker had ever felt. Beyond anything he would ever say.

You smiled. The most honest and happy smile that man had ever seen and you swore you saw the faintes blush on his cheeks but he would never confess to that.

“You make me not hate too” You said almost laughing.

——————————————————————————

The days passed and Kaz Brekker could not stop the giddy feeling he got any time he looked at you.

The Crows couldn’t believe what they were seeing. The Bastard of the Barrel looking at a girl, his girl, like a 10 year old with a crush.

Obviously the teasing was never ending. Kaz secretly loved it.

Sitting in Kaz’s office was your new routine.

He would be at his desk, papers everywhere and you would sit by the window talking to him or reading.

“I got you something” He said, standing in the doorway with a little box in his hands.

“What? What is it?” You asked with the excitement of a child which made Kaz grin.

The boy opened the box showing a beautiful gold necklace with a little heart charm engraved in it you saw his initials: K.B

“I wanted you to remember my name, not by your scars, but by something beautiful just like you” He said waiting for your reaction.

“I love it. I love you” You said with glossy eyes and a dopey smile.

“May I?” Kaz said taking off his gloves and pulling out the chain.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to” What he was doing was more than enough you didn’t want him to feel like he needed to do more.

“I want to”

You turned around and he slowly grabbed your hair and pulled it to the side. Clipping the necklace on you felt the lightest touch of his lips on your neck.

“I love you too”

taglist: @heavenlymidnight @06072543 @thefandomplace @aleksanderwh0r3 @kykymyeon @rika90 @otterly-fey @cc13723things @starxqt @purplewcrld @thecraziestcrayon @montsepliego @madeofsilkandsteel @benbarnes-supremacy @maryosprinkle @subjecta13-thefangirl @maybe-potato

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

The Crows and their love languages

I Don’t know if this has already been done, but this is my interpretation of the love languages of the Crows, feel free to disagree but this is what I felt best fit the characters based on what I’ve read/seen.

Nina

Without a question as both a giver and a receiver, Nina’s love language is physical contact. Though she is seen displaying every other love language, it is through touch that Nina appears to benefit the most. She is offended and subsequently worried about her relationship with Matthias when he avoids touching her and still hadn’t kissed her. Through Inej’s POV, we see a lot of hugs and touches given by Nina. She even uses touch as a heartrender. For her job at the White Rose she is required to touch people to improve their mood and change their appearance. But to focus on the first one, she literally uses touch to make people happy. It makes the most sense to associate Nina with physical contact, which also might be the reason that she and Kaz don’t get along.

Matthias

I found Matthias to actually be the hardest to figure out, he doesn’t really display any specific patterns when it comes to displaying affection. I would say that it is physical contact but he seems to avoid a lot of physical contact with Nina to stay in accordance with the Fjerdan tradition. I guess the love language I see the most with Matthias as both a giver and receiver is acts of service. When he recalls his mother, he remembers aiding her when she was pregnant, he offers on several occasions to do things for Nina, he considers Jarl Brum, a man he was in service as a soldier to, as a father figure. As a receiver, his reaction to Inej’s sacrifice on the first boat indicates that he values acts of service. Additionally, he begins to like Nina (in flashbacks) after she had helped save his life and worked to keep him alive. There are other examples of acts of service being his love language, but I think this suffices.

Wylan

 100% he is in need of some words of affirmation. Though we don’t really see his interactions with the other crows as much since he doesn’t have his own perspective in SOC, in Crooked Kingdom and in the times we see Wylan in Six of Crows, his usage of words of affirmation is evident. As a receiver, he is seen to want approval desperately from his father, to take offense easily at teasing from the other crows, he seems to tie a lot to words. As a giver, his preference for words of affirmation is even more abundant in example. He is always seen giving pep talks to Jesper and is mystified when Kaz refuses to admit the importance of Inej, he becomes angry at the lack of acknowledgement of her merit, of her significance to Kaz. Wylan appears to gather strength from words of affirmation, in fact, after he shares his inability to read with Kaz, it is Kaz’s response that gives him the strength to share with others and even embrace his disability. As a child who so rarely got words of encouragement and affirmation, it makes sense that he places such importance on this particular love language.

Jesper 

Jesper is an interesting case, he, like Nina, likes to utilize all of the love languages. However there are two that he really hones in on. As a giver he is seen to use physical touch and occasionally words of affirmation, as a receiver he requires words of affirmation. Focusing on Jesper as a receiver, the beginning of SOC establishes words of affirmation as his primary love language. He is hurt when Kaz doesn’t acknowledge his trust in Jesper and is seen multiple times throughout the book with hurt feelings when he is excluded from the secrets Kaz shares with Inej, he wants the affirmation of his close relationship with Kaz through the sharing of secrets. As a giver, Jesper uses two different languages. In regards to physical contact, he is shown using this love language a lot with others, there are a plethora of examples within both books, it is shown that he relies on this mode a lot. However, he also employs words of affirmation, the best example of which I can think of is when he lies to Inej about Kaz visiting her to spare her feelings. Though the effort didn’t work, Jesper’s nature is exposed here for being one of comforting words regardless of their accuracy. The other example I think of is from the beginning of Six of Crows, where Kaz remarks that Jesper would pacify the dregs and make Kaz’s victory belong to them all and would boost them up. He is evidently known for his use in this love language, and therefore is still relatively evenly between the two methods of affection.

Inej

Inej uses two different love languages, one as a giver and one as a receiver. As a giver, Inej employs words of affirmation. This can be seen through her various pep-talks given out to the other crows, in her kind words to her hurting friends, and in her exchanges with Kaz. She is good at encouragement and her words are shown to have an impact, specifically seen with exchanges she has with Jesper and Kaz (they both think about and mull over her words in their inner monologues). It is through words she connects with others, however she has relationships and important connections that more often than not do not supply her with words of affirmation back. This leads into her receiver love language, this being quality time. This is not the most intuitive love language for Inej, but through analyzing her character it is plain to see that it is this love language that she responds to the most. The way that Inej recalls her family and her father is through her fond memories of them, is through the good times she spent with them. She does not simply remember her family through traits or through objects or even through words but through scenes, and through the memories that contain the words she remembers. Additionally, when injured on the Ferolind, she requests that Nina stay and spend time with her, she values her presence. With Kaz this love language is a little harder to scope out, after all their relationship also contains acts of service, gift giving, and little bursts of words of affirmation, but Inej seems to appreciate and respond the most to the quality time she spends with Kaz. She is hurt when she learns that he didn’t visit while she was unconscious, there are countless examples of wordless communication as they spend time together, Kaz even points out that he “is here” with Inej, he is present and there to help her, something that she subsequently responds to. In a way, Inej’s relationship with Kaz is unique from her other relationship in that it requires every love language (even physical contact) but quality time is in many ways a significant one.

Kaz

Now that I’ve gone on a tangent for Inej, we finally reach our most complex character when it comes to love languages (I’m sorry please prepare for another tangent). To be clear, Kaz’s love languages are not difficult to decipher from the vantage point of a reader but the way he expresses himself to other characters is in a complex manner that was formed from his upbringing and past trauma. As a giver it is plain and obvious that Kaz is a gift giver, he is constantly seen practicing this love language. He gifts Jesper his guns back after he loses them in Crooked Kingdom, He gifts Wylan his family fortune back. He even yearns to gift his dead brother his avengeance in the form of taking down Pekka Rollins. Of course, this love language can be viewed the most in his interactions with Inej. He notoriously gifts her a ship “The Wraith”, he gifts her her parents, he even gifts her freedom by buying her contract from Per Haskell, each gift allowing her the future she so desires. Although these gifts pain him, although he wants her to stay with him, he still gives and provides her with these tools, because he loves her, because he wants to express to her how much she means to him. Kaz is not a character who outwardly expresses his feelings very often, but through his gift giving it is shown that he does appreciate those around him, that he does care about others. As a receiver however, Kaz appears to appreciate the love language of Acts of Service the most. Though this analysis is about the books I did want to touch upon a scene in the TV show. The scene in question is when Inej kills the inferni. Inej commits her first kill in order to help Kaz and the look he gives her pretty much sums up his feelings on the matter.

 In the books he says in his narration how him making Jesper his only second, shows that he trusts him. He gradually warms up to both Matthias and Wylan as they progress in the mission and continue to aid him. He trusts Nina enough to be a part of the six going to the Ice Court, after using her services as a heart render multiple times. Now, it is possible that he only brought her along because of her powers and her connections to Matthias, but knowing Kaz he could make do without a heartrender and her addition only made things more complicated with Matthias at the beginning. Kaz agrees to free Inej after her words “I can help you”, he responds to that, it is with those words, with that offer to assist that their relationship begins. Inej is portrayed doing acts of service for Kaz nearly every night since her buyout, and Kaz has responded in kind making her his right hand woman. In summation, the way to earn Kaz’s respect, trust, and admiration is through acts of service.

[justice4harwin]

Light’s Corruption-Chapter VII

Summary: With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty.

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Rating: 18+ (better safe than sorry, u know)

Anyone fancy a playlist?

As usual, the tags are in the comments; if you no longer want to be in the list or wanna be added, please don’t hesitate to let me know :)

Click here for chapter VI

Chapter 7: Within the Palace's Walls

 Dear General Kirigan,

Dear General

Dear Kirigan

Dear Darkling

"Ugh!" Alina let her face drop on top of the paper, not caring if the ink got into her face, and groaned, loudly and at length. "Why?!" She asked into the nothingness of her room.

She had no reason to write to him. She knew he must've had frequent reports of the ongoings of the Little Palace, so she had no other excuse except to admit the truth, which was that she craved his attention, even if he was days away.

This was so pathetic of her; letting go of a life-long unrequited love just to fall into the arms of the first man who complimented her, even if she did feel a strange pull towards him.

What she needed was time for herself. Yes. She had finally said goodbye to Mal, falling for someone else so quickly would do her no good.

Oh, but Saints! The way in which he had kissed her, like he'd been waiting for centuries, like she was a treasure, like he truly wanted her. She had kissed people before, but never like that. She had enjoyed it, sure, but always stopped it before the clothes started to disappear. It usually bored people, but Alina didn't mind that much. It wasn't like when Genya was in the room while she bathed, helping her get to whenever she needed to be in time by pulling at the knots in her hair and handing her a towel. Genya was trustworthy, she was her friend and she had never given her one of those looks that had made her uncomfortable during her training at Poliznaya, nor made an unwanted comment or advance on her figure.

But The Darkling… That day, she had felt more than willing to let him have his way with her; nobody had set her body aflame the way The Darkling had done that afternoon a few weeks prior; she dreamt of it at night and woke up sweaty and hot, and it was a real effort to not daydream about it during her day.

General Imbecile Brute,

I write to you on this day to let you know of the first snow at the Little Palace. It makes quite the pretty paint...from the inside.

Also, I cannot stop thinking about you and your kiss, and I've been staring at the rose you gave me for such long amounts of time I fear my eyes will cross and I'll be stuck like that forever.

Please, tell me: do you feel the same? Mark 'yes' or 'no'.

Forever at your service,

Alina Starkov, Sun Summoner, Idiot.

Ps: You're not an imbecile, only a little rude; and you're not a brute, but some of your manners need polishing. Other than that, you're perfect.

Signed again,

Alina Starkov, she who lacks decency.

She looked at the letter, a low, prolonged, pitiful sound parting from her lips that turned into an animalistic groan. She grabbed the piece of paper, scrunched it into a small ball and threw it into her fireplace.

The snow covered the grounds of the Little Palace almost entirely, the lake would soon be completely frozen, and finalize the beautiful picture. Some Grisha were excited over the opportunity to skate. Alina had never done it, but Marie and Nadia promised to teach her.

From her horse, Alina moved uneasily. She still wasn't used to horse-riding, but Nina had invited her along with a few of her friends, who were all of different orders. It was a chance she wouldn't miss.

She tugged her kefta closer and held onto the reigns, advancing slowly along with the group, heading to the edges of the woods that surrounded the place.

A Fabrikator passed her a flask of kvas, and despite her dislike for the strong drink, Alina took it anyways and tried not to grimace as the liquid went down her throat.

If she were honest, she'd rather be inside the warm walls of her room in the Little Palace, chattering the afternoon away with Genya. She hadn't need to ask if the Tailor could join them at the stables; Alina was well aware of how little regard the other Grisha had for her -until they needed something-.

"I heard a few of you have been working on new keftas." she tried to make light conversation with the woman as she handed her her kvas back.

"Yes." she answered politely, "We're making a special fabric that should give us more freedom of movement during battle."

Alina rose her eyebrows. It wouldn't help her much if she didn't improve her fighting skills, but it was an interesting idea.

"How's it coming along?"

The woman tried to hide a grimace.

"It's complicated, but we're making some progress."

Alina smiled.

"Maybe you can tell me more about it during dinner." she suggested. "I, for once, would love a different type of trousers."

The woman smiled starkly, her blond hair getting on her face.

"They are rather stiff, aren't they?"

"I can barely flex my legs as it is."

The woman, whose name was Lada Alina remembered, agreed.

"I know. They're not suitable." she said in a strange tone, to which Alina gave her an odd, sideways look.

"Did you hear Zoya is back?" Fedyor interrupted, marching up to keep up with them.

Alina stared at him, groaned, and rolled her eyes.

"That's great." she said dryly.

Her absence was nice while it lasted.

"Maybe if I get under her skin and she attacks again, The General will send her off for a longer time. Or better yet, I could actually beat her."

Who was she kidding? Zoya was a formidable fighter, and Alina was just starting to win every now and then. Also, she suspected that Nina might have gone easy on her during their first sparring match a few weeks prior. She hadn't won against her ever since.

"Tell me about it." the woman in question said, rolling her eyes. "I don't understand her obsession with being on The General's inner circle."

"Says the one who is in the inner circle." Fedyor pointed out.

"Barely." Nina made a gesture with her hand, as if trying to rest importance to the matter. "Besides, it's not such a big deal. I don't know why everyone makes such a fuss about it."

"Well, the higher we are, the better we can protect other Grisha." Alina said, almost hesitantly. "I mean, if we have The General's ear, more ideas will flow about. I'm sure everyone has something to contribute to the cause."

"You don't need to worry about that, sun bean;" Nina smirked. "You're the Sun Summoner, it's likely he'll listen to you."

Alina's cheeks flushed as everyone in the group turned to stare at her.

"I think it's good to aim high;" Fedyor said, drifting the attention to himself, thanks the Saints. "As long as it's for the better of the Second Army."

Nina looked away and uttered something only Alina heard.

"Oh, yeah, betterment of forced servitude."

The Summoner stiffened on her saddle at the bitter words. Was Nina unhappy at the Little Palace? Why? She was one of the most powerful Grisha there; she lived in the most secured place in all Ravka, and her General held her in high regard.

A part of Alina wished she had never hidden her light. Maybe it would've been for the better to leave Keramzin, to leave Mal behind sooner.

It also made her think of someone who scarcely passed through her mind those days: her own mother.

She shook her head, ridding herself of such thoughts. She was thankful for the commodities and safe life she had at the Little Palace. Even if she was one of a kind, everyone else seemed to be adapting well to her, especially since she began to summon on her own and join in their little games by the lake.

She had been hesitant about it at first, but Genya insisted that going would be a great opportunity to both show her power and make allies.

"Besides, they won't believe you're a snob or a fraud if you show them a little." she had said, lazily lounging on a chair as they shared a nice tea one afternoon, while the queen took an especially long nap the very same day the Duke of Balakirev had arrived at court.

Lately, Alina felt more normal, and she was sure that her latest choices had a lot to do with it. From showcasing her powers, to sitting in different sections on different tables during meals and just talking normally about trivial things -even if those did exhaust her mind- and wearing an Etherealki kefta, she was more approachable, and the other Grisha seemed to slowly start to notice it too.

"It's not enough."

"We surely do deserve some more credit." she spoke, even if she didn't fully believe in the sentiment. The First Army was full of otkazat'sya, and they didn't have the advantages of bullet-proof clothing, private tents, furs for the winter and three decent meals per day.

It was all so difficult for Alina. She had once envied the advantages The Second Army possessed over The First, yet she couldn't deny there were other kinds of dangers for the Grisha, that not everything was perfect inside the walls of Os Alta.

Like the distrust of those who weren't like them, their fear, tamed only by their usefulness due only to the Black Heretic's greed.

All around her, her fellow Grisha nodded their agreements.

She wondered, briefly, what would Grisha life be like in Ravka if The Fold hadn't been created in the first place. What would happen if she ever managed to tear it down?

She didn't want to dwindle in those thoughts further.

With the Winter Fete approaching, everyone at the Little and Grand Palace seemed to buzz with all kinds of different energy. The servants were comprehensively nervous and stressed as they ran from one place to the other. Alina's fellow Grisha were either excited or indifferent, but none the less they all put the same amount of effort into practicing their yearly demonstration.

As for Alina herself, she had received the news that she was expected to showcase her power in front of the royal family and the other nobles of Ravka.

"The king wanted to throw a bigger party; invite diplomats from all continents and such, but General Kirigan insisted that it wasn't necessary yet." Genya said one afternoon, as Alina braided her hair.

She was seated very still, her eyes continuously darting from one side to the other as if trying to peek at her friend's work, concern etched on her face.

"He seems impatient." Alina commented, to which Genya huffed, accommodating her friend's new possessions on her vanity with a precision that seemed borderline obsessive.

"You have no idea. He can't wait to see the mighty Sun Summoner." she said, pouting and trying to imitate his deeper voice.

Alina frowned, said nothing, and continued braiding, her movements slowing but almost precise.

The Darkling

 Miss Starkov,

Due to my sudden absence, I had no time to notify you that I shall oversee your training personally from now on.

Being far away, I do not wish for you to stall, so I leave you some instructions on what to practice and how, and a few reading recommendations fo-

He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

He was being a fool, and he hated it.

Writing to her with instructions on how to practice her summoning was a foolish idea. She was barely starting and needed overseeing, and the only one besides himself who could help her was his mother, who remained bitter at the woman. He really wanted to know what Alina had said to Baghra to make her so upset.

He almost smiled, feeling something wickedly, childishly happy in his chest at the possibilities.

Tossing the letter into the fire, he leaned back in his chair.

Teaching her through letters would only lead to disaster, but how else would he know about her? How else could he earn her trust while being so far away?

Pathetic.

"Moi Soverennyi." Ivan presented himself, bowing before further entering his tent. He offered him an envelope. "A letter from the Grand Palace."

The Darkling took it and quickly read it, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Although he had convinced the king that inviting foreign diplomats was not yet a good idea, the stupid man insisted that the Sun Summoner performed alongside the other Grisha. Alina was finally able to summon on her own, but he knew a part of her still feared her gift; putting on a show for an audience was not the best idea.

He…worried? for her?

"We will have to be back in time for the Winter Fete."

Ivan grunted. "I hate that thing."

The Darkling nodded in agreement. After all those centuries, he was more than bored of them. It was always the same waste of time and resources for his army, only to entertain the nobles for a few hours. As if they would not go back to turning their back on them the very next day.

Those fools often seemed to forget that his Grisha could have them for lunch if they so wanted it.

Privileged as The Second Army may seem, people were wary of them, even the nobles who lived in the surrounding areas.

"But they will not attempt anything so long as they need us."

"We have little choice, Ivan."

"We could always host it near The Fold and accidently push the royal family inside it." he said, sardonic as usual.

"Tempting." The Darkling smirked, setting the letter aside with little care.

The Heartrender stepped aside to allow him out, and The Darkling marched towards the river, where a few of his fabrikators were working on a new skiff. It wasn't nearly as grand as the one Alina had boarded that fateful day, but that was due to a different purpose.

There was a strange device being placed underneath it.

"Are you sure this will work?" he asked Petya.

The woman hesitated for the briefest moment, and The Darkling reminded himself internally to summon new graves for his Grisha.

"Such a pity." he thought, sincerely.

"Yes. So long as the Squaller sets a slow pace and nobody exerts themselves too much, they should be able to pass in relative tranquillity."

He had a feeling it would not work. His Grisha had already tried several times to cross through the river, but David Kostyk was sure his new invention would cancel out the soft sounds of the skiff against the water and dwindle the sounds of a heartbeat.

"Do not expect the path to be clear." he said.

"That is exactly why we're going, sir." a Squaller, Igor, approached and bowed. "If this works and we can clear the path, we should be able to make it to the other side eventually."

"Let us hope it does not take too many tries." he said.

Too many Grisha lives, he had wanted to say.

"David is rarely wrong, Moi Soverennyi." Petya said.

That was true. David was one of his best Grisha, which was why The Darkling tried to keep him inside the safety of the Little Palace's walls unless absolutely necessary.

Still, The Darkling though the plan stupid and a waste; but it was either that or forcing Alina into The Fold, and she was far from being ready to make a crossing, even through its thinnest point up north.

As a Squaller, a Heartrender, two Healers and two Inferni boarded the skiff, followed by a few strong otkazat'sya men from the First Army, The Darkling thought of David.

He thought of Alina.

And his thoughts returned to David.

With a sharp nod, he sent off the small team to do their last test and headed back to his tent, where he began to write a letter addressed to Mr. Kostyk.

Click here for chapter 8

[hoplesslylovin]

I love the crows so much I could talk about them all day. Every character is well developed and so utterly human, they were not written to be perfect but dumbass teens trynna get money and not die. It’s a perfect mix of seriousness and humor

Every relationship is 1000/10. Kaz andJesper relationship, with Kaz calling Jesper Jordie and Jesper asking who’s that and Kaz saying “ someone i didn’t wanna lose” skfjkjfhkh. Jesper willingness to do anything for kaz bc he has a crush(before wylan) and admires Kaz so much.

Matthias and Inej subtle bonding over religion and making righteousness decisions.

Nina and Inej having a beautiful relationship and with the best girl talks. The scene where Inej holds Nina’s face and says “I owe you a life debt” shows the beauty of friendship and will never be topped by any other line. Also most novels fail to have this bc “the main character can be not like other girls🙄”

Kaz helping Wylan overcome his insecurities and realize his dad ain’t shit and basically changing the will so Wylan can get all the money.

Jesper and Inej calling each other family and yet Inej still being able to forgive automatically but also holding Jesper accountable when he fucks up.The bonding in the scene where they talk about they love kaz and also admitting it’s exhausting trying to keep up with him

This is just friendships like most series that are under 3 books never really develop friendship and mostly focus on relationship or the plot and this queen Leigh wrote the perfect plot the perfect friendships and the perfect relationships in two books?!?! I love it

Now let’s talk about relationships Kaz and Inej being absolute perfection with Leigh recognizing their combined trauma and not just ignoring it so they can kiss is beautiful. Knej knowing her self worth and not sticking around for Kaz even though they both loves each other bc he’s not ready for a relationship and she has her own life is amazing.Kaz also realizing that he can’t give her what she deserve and instead of being a grumpy/petty/shitty person like most male leads when realizing the female lead deserves better,!buys inej a boat to travel around the world, finds her parents for her and basically promising to work on himself while she is gone achieving her dreams is truly iconic. Also Inej knowing that Kaz will always be a “monster” and saying that Ketterdam needs a monster to clean away its filth and that while i’m away at sea fighting slavers you will help me by destroying companies that imploy slavers.-like they both don’t try to change the other person ideas/ambition but work together

Next Nina and Matthias relationship is enemies to lovers done right. Firstly the story of how they met is a slighly cliche shipwreck meeting, but is it the best one i’ve ever read?? Yes it is!! Like the slow development of Matthias at first always comparing her to fjerden women to realizing that Nina may not be “a traditional fjerdan women” but what he needed to see his discriminatory ways. Nina also taking zero bullshit and not babying him but just straight calling him out when he says something wrong.Matthias finally realizing that he was brainwashed without Nina really taking him step by step and more like Nina explaining it to him once and letting him figure out himself. Matthias not accepting only Nina but all grisha yet still not giving up his religion and pride of his country to be with Nina but recognizing that it wasn’t perfect and needs a lot of improvements. Nina also not changing any part of herself and making him have her as she is or leave

Lastly wesper (Wylan and Jesper) which is just amazing. Leigh not making the main focus of the relationship being tht their gay but just focusing on the development and chemistry between them. They in the middle of a dangerous life threatening mission and Jesper says sum shit like “I wish it was this easy to get girls” and Wylan goes” just girls? “and Jesper is “like no not just girls” and that’s it. Jesper and Wylan have a soft friends to lovers with a lot of witty one liners. They both talk to each other about their insecurities like Wylan knowing when Jesper is filled with too much energy and helping calm down, they had their first kiss like this :) and Jesper telling Wylan that he isn’t stupid and it’s fine he can’t read bc he so talented in other ways.

Also the character development!! firstly Jesper being black(darkskin)and bi. While being a main character with flaws. Jesper is extremely loyal and funny yet he also fucks up bc he human and make mistakes. Jesper has a gambling addiction and his gambling addiction wasn’t tried to be justified with an excuse or a reason but realistically described as some thing he just can’t bring himself to stop. He’s written so well, we get to see him struggle with his self esteem and his restlessness, but we get to see him grow and realize that he can’t be stuck in what he did in the past but make sure he won’t do it again and finding a positive outlet instead of gambling. Jesper also hating and hiding that he is grisha bc his dad had drilled into him tht his powers were dangerous and bc his mother had died from using her powers too much.Yet by the end of book he still hides his power but learns to accept it and saying maybe in the future he will learn how to use it bc Wylan helped him realize that he shouldn’t hate anything about himself and learn to embrace it, but also did not push Jesper very hard and let Jesper figure it out himself

Nina being a tall plus sized powerful asf women and still being repeatedly described as beautiful and charming in the book.This may seem like a simple thing but most books just write plus sized people as the “token fat friend” and make the character whole personality be about their weight. Nina doesn’t care for her weight. she is bold and confident. She knows that she is gorgeous and strong and flaunts it. Nina loves her country and struggle with trying to do what’s best for it bc at the end of the day she will put ravka first. Also Nina’s struggle with jurda parem is written really well in a way that shows clearly how much she struggles with the addiction and the shame she feels on how she acted yet how she can’t help herself. After she finally got over jurda parem withdrawals she has new powers that leave her feeling lost bc this wasn’t who she was before yet with Matthias help and her own sheer stubbornness she gets the hang of her powers and accepts that it still very miraculous evn if it connected to death

Inej is honestly a amazing character. She has very strong moral views and struggles with religion esp with the idea that she doesn’t know if she will be forgiven for all the lives she took as the wraith, yet she doesn’t regret what she’s done bc it allowed her to be free.Inej after getting free from Tante Heleen would rather die and then ever be hold in a cage again. We see this when she almost stabs herself in the heart after being cornered. Also we learn that after being freed she could barely even touch other people or even walk in front of Tante Heleen building to see her growing and overcoming her trauma in a realistic way that it’s still there but she doesn’t allow it to control her life. She voluntarily wears Tante Heleen silks again for a mission and stole her necklace which symbolizes her stealing her life back in a way. She finds a purpose for her life in the idea of freeing slaves after this mission instead of just waiting for Kaz. I could talk about Inej all day tbh

Honestly where should i begin with Kaz. Kaz is not a righteous man, he’s ruthless,and would do anything for money but keeps his promises yet Kaz sees himself as a villain and doesn’t see the good even if Inej tells him how he helps others in subtle ways. In the beginning Kaz is painted as a evil genius which he is but and then we learn that he was a happy and cheerful child till Jordie died, leaving him with severe trauma and unable to hand skin contact. Kaz also broke his leg in some robbery when he was younger and it never healed correctly yet it was never a problem for him, even tho he is disabled and with a cane everyone is scared of him. Anyway throughout the books Kaz goes from unable to even touch another persons hand and fainting in the wagon to slightly overcoming this with Inej. Kaz wants to be better for Inej and himself bc Inej says she will have him without armor or not at all and Kaz wants to be that person. While by the end of crooked kingdom he can only hold Inej’s hand and he still shook a little, We can still see how much he is trying to overcome his fear. I also love how Leigh did not write that Kaz overcame years and years of trauma for a girl within a few weeks but ends with him doing a only little better but still having a long way to go.

Wylsn being the genius nerd of the group and also having dyslexia. Wylan starts off as a shy runaway whose shitty dad severely impacted their self esteem, and grows to be very confident person who sees that nothing is wrong with being unable to read bc he can still do anything he wants.Wylan kept his dyslexia as his biggest secret bc he is taught that he is useless and worthless bc he can’t read, yet through subtle and amazing advice from Kaz about how you can’t let things hold you back, Jesper’s support and mainly seeing all the things he can do without the need for reading-Wylan slowly realizes his self worth. To the point where he can tell a few people that he can’t read. This causes Wylan to help Jesper with accepting his powers bc Wylan sees the how similarities between how Jesper acts about his power and how he use to act about his dyslexia.

Matthias had the biggest character arc. He went from wanting to kill all grisha to accepting Nina’s very unique death powers before she herself did. Matthias struggles with realizing his old mentors were wrong throughout book 1. The rest of the crew do not waste time explaining or trying to change his beliefs but instead only correcting his words when he says offensive things. Inej also subtly tells him to get his shit together, at first he believes how could everything he ever learn is a lie but after seeing the outcomes of his actions/ druskelle actions. Matthias realizes that it was all lie and finds reasoning and understanding through his experiences with the crows. He after a long process begins to thinks grisha powers are a miracle. Yet even as he slowly see his wrong ways- His first thought for a long time when seeing grisha powers was unnatural in his manipulative father figure Brum’s voice. After a little while he began to correct the voice in his head with own.Matthias finally reached a point where his first thought was miraculous. Leigh wrote this really well bc it shows a person cannot change a mindset drilled into him within a day but takes a process. Throughout all of this he still feels a strong sense of pride in his county but also seeing that his home has many faults and needs improvement and guidance.

i wrote this midnight y’all pls ignore shitty grammar and mistakes

[taurusart07]

The Savior of Fire

Hi guys, this is my first time posting a fic I did for the @grishaversebigbang. I had so much fun making this adventure with mu OCs and I was really happy of working with talented artists who showed the same passion for my characters as I did. 

Summary: After many reports of Grisha caravans with newly foundling (children) recruits are being raided by mercenaries or even undercover Druskelle. Grisha soldier Dimitri Alexand rov (OC), gets assigned with the mission of finding these missing children and the ones responsible for their kidnapping.  

Materialki: @awtetsuya27 (https://awtetsuya27.tumblr.com/post/661317187569614848/story-the-savior-of-fire-by-taurusart07-link)

@yourpancakefulness (https://yourpancakefulness.tumblr.com/post/661319128844500992/dimitri-wanted-to-leave-something-to-commemorate)

Soon to be on AO3.

For now here’s a link to the finished docs if you want to read now. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NQDnS1Ul9Y-p6RdNKpEk7G6MMsLMv1p_LBEPwpVPtlM/edit?usp=sharing

Chapter 1: 

Even at his worst, being around fire was always a comfort for Dimitri. Knowing he could take control of the situation surrounded by his element calmed his nerves. And even before he discovered he was a Grisha Inferni, he found comfort looking at the flame of a candle or getting lost in the dancing blazes of a fireplace.

When the Grisha examiners arrived at his small farm near Ryevost to find out about his nature, Dimitri was both excited and sad about going to live at the Little palace. For once he was ready to embrace his abilities and serve his country. But also, he felt bad for leaving his mother alone. After the loss of his father she was all he had left. However the Grisha assured him she would be safe if he left. He knew the risks, many enemy spies roamed the lands and could be on the hunt for Grisha at any time. 

Time passed, and the Ravkan Civil war had ended with The Drakling’s death. Afterwards the second army was reformed and the Etherealki order was now led by General Soya Nasyalensy. Now there was more activity of Grisha helping through the war, getting along with the Otkazat’sya and the first army made the war effort much easier. But the enemy kept resisting. More missions began to be assigned to small grisha groups, and no one was more enthusiastic about it than Dimitri. 

“Why are you so eager to leave the Little Palace to the front lines?” Asked a young Grisha Squaller. 

“Because,” Began Dimitri shoving his messy dark curly hair aside. “It’s been too long since I’ve been here. I want to see some action. Something I can prove myself” The squaller looked at him doubtfully, but of course, no one really understood Dimitri. 

He walked down the halls of the Little palace, towards the training grounds, where his instructor was waiting for him. For the greater part of his last year, Dimitri hadn’t really done full extense sessions of training, since his incident in the mountains of Petrazoi near Ryevost. On a recon mission. Dimitri had fallen deep into a cave where he was sure there was no way he was gonna get out of there alive, for he heard a fierce snarl come from the darkness of the cave. A wolf happened to land there as well, and at that moment that quiet cave became a battlefield for survival. Dimitri spent quite some time fighting off the wolf. his fire was not strong since his strength was quickly taken away by the constant struggle of keeping the predator’s fangs away from him.  

After intense hours fighting off the animal, Dimitri came out triumphant, seriously injured but he had managed to kill the Wolf. And once he did, he found out that this animal was an amplifier. Not like the sacred amplifiers Morozova created, but a natural one. At first, Dimitri wasn’t sure if he should take on its bones to merge with them, but when he wanted to check on it. He had a vision, It was almost as other Grisha with amplifiers described them. Right in front of the dead wolf, Dimitri saw a luminescent copy of the animal, bowing to him, out of respect.

 Hours after that, the rescue team arrived, and Dimitri’s injuries had to be taken care of at the little palace, so he requested them to take the dead wolf with him, and told them about its nature. The healers tended his wounds and suggested him rest since the bites of the wolf had been quite deep, some scratches in his torso and back would also take some time to heal properly. 

It had been nearly a year since that day, and during that year he felt incompetent by having these bambraces made out of the bones of the wolf, and not be able to push himself once more. But all that has changed now.    

“Are you ready to try this Dimitri?” Asked Oleg, an experienced Inferni trainer who began mentoring Dimitri from his first day at the little palace. Dimitri gave a silent nod and thus his teacher began an easy attack on him, something he could fend off. But to Dimitri, this felt too easy. With just a single hand gesture and his fists he managed to effortlessly push the incoming fire away from him. Another burst of flames were thrown at him, and without struggle he managed to dodge and even redirect some of the fire into Oleg. Now it was his turn to attack. His dark, almost coal colored gloves with red embroidery ready, and his mind focusing on trying to use the enhancement of his amplifier. He launched forward and threw a massive explosion of iridescent red and yellow sparks right to Oleg. His teacher managed to evade the attack with an impressive jump and still maintained a regal posture, as he dismissed the fire around him, clearing up the arena. 

“It seems you haven't lost any condition. And your technique has improved” Regarded Oleg “I’m quite impressed, your amplifier has indeed enhanced the heat on your fire as well, though you still need to work on precision” 

Dimitri Couldn’t expect more. Even though the healers had told him that he needed rest, and very moderate training, the truth was that inside his room there was none of it. He continued on with his training in complete silence and without anyone's knowledge of it. His fires had to be very low in size if he didn’t want to light up the entire little palace. Once again he began to send flames towards his mentor. As he kept on, the enhancement of the amplifier began to settle in with Dimitri’s will. 

Oleg started to give him more demanding shots of fire, seeing that Dimitri wasn’t so rusty at all. He sent out a gigantic wave of flames, only to distract him, and get closer to engage in hand in hand combat. Dimitri managed to block some of the attacks as they began to get more and more constant, not giving him time to pack a punch at Oleg, or even stunt him or get him out of his way. His feet almost reached the edge of the arena, when he decided to pull out a trick he invented on his secret sessions. It required minimal movement, but a great deal of concentration. As he kept Blocking Oleg from taking him off the limits of the arena. “You ready to give it a rest boy?” Teased Oleg. 

Dimitri began to feel the heat accumulating in his forearms and hands, however he did not feel any pain, unlike Oleg, who was rapidly disengaged once the heat hurt him enough. 

“Looks like you learned some tricks on your own” Said Oleg, surprised. 

“It wasn’t so hard, and as you can see it doesn’t require much mobility” Explained Dimitri, worried he would get in trouble for not following strict instructions from the Healers.

“Regardless,” Added Oleg, taking off his gloves, and shoving away the sweat on his slightly wrinkles forehead, “You should've at least told someone, in case anything happened” He dismissed Dimitri, and let him join his fellow comrades, who were impressed by the skill he showed at the arena, and was asked to show them how to do that trick. 

“It’s not gonna be that useful, don’t you think?” Said one of the older Inferni. “We barely get into hand to hand fighting. Most Druskelle I’ve encountered had been reduced to ashes before getting near me” He bragged. Dimitri did not take his opinion at all, since he was always told by Oleg to always expect the worst of a situation and no to rely always on his power. Dimitri left the Training grounds on his own. He mostly didn’t hang out with many of his own, just with Pyotr, another inferni who he grew close to after they both were taken under the mentroy of Oleg. As he reached the halls of the palace. He was first planning on going to his room and getting some rest, cause even though he had not lost his edge, he definitely lost some resistance, however that would not stop him. Going past the library he saw some young durasts studying on some books, furthermore he was about to get to his room, when he got caught by an old familiar voice. 

“Dimitri!'' It was his old  life time friend Pyotr, he was sporting his typical blue kefta with spiky red embroidery on it. His hair was much larger than he remembered. And his light fair skin was covered with some minor scars obtained at the battlefield. He ran towards his friend and partner in crime, and embraced him with a hug. They hadn't seen each other for almost a year, since most inferni were sent to the front lines along with the Heartrenders and the first army. When Pyotr and the rest got orders to leave, Dimitri was barely tended by the healers after the encounter at the cave. 

“It’s been so long my friend,” Said Dimitri “How are things on the Fjerdan front line?” He asked. They constantly received reports every other night, however the casualties were hardly named, and the letters he received from his best friend told so little. 

“Well… Pretty intense as you can see'' Answered Pyotr, pointing at his scars on his face “Fortunately they’re not gonna get permanent… But yes, things are tough. The Fjerdans are getting more brutal, even with our strengths combined, both armies are barely resisting” he said. 

“Then why are you here?” Asked Dimitri. 

“To escort you,”His friend answered. 

What? Thought Dimitri . “Where?” 

“Just come with me. Trust me.” Said Pyotr, taking Dimitri back to the halls, without giving any more details on where they were going. But he had to trust his lifelong friend, just as he always did. 

When Dimitri Finally arrived  he was completely out of words. Right inside of a rounded dark room illuminated by bright lights, was the Triumvirate in front of him. Genya Saffin leader of the Corporalki and talented tailor, David Kostyk master fabrikator and head of the Materialki, and lastly the fierce and only Zoya Nasyalensky General of the etherealki. Among them were many more Grisha commanders and lieutenants discussing the war effort.    

“Is it Him?” asked General Zoya to Pyotr. Dimitri remembered reading some letters of his friend about how sometimes they were saved by Zoya and her powerful winds and storms she summoned. However he did not expect to have direct contact with her, with any of the triumvirate. Pyotr nodded to her and so Dimitri walked forward trying to not show his excitement and fear by being in the presence of his leaders. 

“Dimitri Alexandrov, at your service. Grisha inferni, former member of the seventh regiment.” His answer sounded as if he were reading it outloud in front of a class. Some Grisha in the crowd found his answer funny and some looked doubtful at him. “Former member?” Questioned Zoya. 

“I had an incident a year ago,” Explained Dimitri. “Ever since that I’ve been on break. But I’m more than ready to be back in the field, I swear” It was true. The least he wanted was to be back in his room training in complete silence. He wanted to hear the roar of his fires.  

“I’m not sending you to the battlefield,” She began. Her deep black hair hanging on her sides and her blue kefta shimmered with the lights. “There have been some events across the country that concern us,” What could she possibly be talking about?. Dimitri just kept his mouth silent and let her explain. “As some of the guards have informed. The caravans of examiners that went to the first near cities have not arrived and It’s been long since they left the palace in order to find new grisha among children” Informed Zoya. “Only a wounded squaller managed to arrive at the palace yesterday. He claims their caravan had been raided by unknown enemies, who took the children captive, and killed our Grisha brothers and sisters.” 

Thoughts of his past began to run through Dimitri’s head, Of how they prick his arm to reveal his inferni powers, of his arrival at the little palace, and his first training lessons with Oleg, along with Pyotr. If what Zoya said was true, then children just like he once was, were not only taken away from their families but from their future, as a soldier, and as a Grisha. People like Dimitri were still not seen with the best intentions around the world. The Fjerdans burned Grisha at the stake, while the Shu dedicated extensive experiments on them. Ketterdam wasn’t a good place either, for they were mostly sold out as indentures for the wealthiest merchants. But children offered something more to those countries. The Shu might try to dissect their living bodies to further investigations, and the Fjerdans might even want to try out the dangerous drug, Jurda Perm on them, as for the ketterdam businesses, those children without the dominion of their powers, may just as well be slaves or even delight se the carnal desires of sick old men around that treacherous city. 

“As for what our records show, the examiner parties we’ve sent out have been to the south, from Sikursk, Caryeva, Keramzim, Kribirsk, and the west to Os Kervo, and their near villages and farms” Said Zoya, showing everything she explained on a three dimensional map, of all ravka and the north and south borders. It was still not big enough to fill the entire table, as the pieces had connections like a puzzle that Dimitri guessed were pieces of the other countries. 

“Just yesterday we sent out a crew towards Ryevost, and another to Balakirev” Said Genya, her soft voice filled the entire room, and it was quite hard for Dimitri to not look at her eyepatch, a symbol of what happened to her at the civil war. 

“Which means they should be arriving there by now, and the parties heading north still have to report on arrival” she continued. “We need to find out who are these captors, if they’re druskelle or mercenaries after a high price on Grisha children”

“Will you do that, Dimitri?” Asked Zoya out of nowhere. Dimitri has always expected an assignment, he just didn’t expect it to be of such importance.   

“You want me to look for these children?” He asked, the question was pretty dumb of his part, but his mind still hung over the task he had ahead” 

“I’ve heard that you kept asking for open assignments the whole year, even with your condition in mind” Said Zoya. “Also a fellow comrade of yours spoke fondly of your determination, and aptitude for this job” She glanced subtly at Pyotr. “You must assemble a team with Grisha in which you can put your whole trust on this job, You are expected to leave tomorrow at dawn” She said finally, heading towards distance, to hand him an archive with the details of his first mission after a very long time. 

“I will not let you down, General” Said Dimitri, “I'll find those kids and bring them home”  He said as he was Dismissed by Zoya. He began wondering how he could carry such a test on himself, he wondered who he would contact to join him. As he left the room, walking through the halls, Pyotr intercepted him, congratulating him for receiving such an important job. “It won’t be easy” said Pyotr, “You'll definitely need one or two Heartrenders, and possibly another etherealki” 

“I know just one who can come with me,'' said Dimitri, looking at his friend while they kept walking. 

“Who?” wondered Pyotr naively. 

“You, idiot,” Replied Dimitri, laughing. Of course he would need his best friend in this, He always reminded Dimitri of what he was capable of and more. “You really thought I would do this without you?”   

They kept planning who else to bring, Dimitri didn’t want a whole group as that might draw attention when they needed it less. He definitely agreed with Pyotr, they would need at least a heartrender, And dimitri knew who was fit for this Job. 

 “You’re insane” Said Pyotr, “Raol Ralevsky is the most hated Grisha among his class” 

“And that attitude of his and his incredible skill is what we need” Explained Dimitri. He was his first immediate choice. Besides, Dimitri knew he wasn’t that awful, as Raol once helped Dimitri to control his amplifier, for he also had one within his neck, a massive claw of a Tiger he once hunted. 

“I heard he once took about six Druskelle on his own, completely destroyed their bodies, that man shows no mercy”

“Once again proving my point, we don’t know if these captors are Fjerdans or not, or how many are there when they attack the caravans. Just trust me on this, we need to get Raol, I need you to let him know, just tell him Dimitri is asking him for this”

“You're gonna tell me that now you’re friends with him?” Asked Pyotr, appalled “More of an ally at the palace” Replied Dimitri, as he left his friend to be alone in his room. 

Inside of the grand place he had for his own, he took off his blue kefta, and hung it on a chair near his wardrobe. The room curtains were completely blocking the last hours of light the sun had left. He took off an ointment from the drawer at his bed. with the small red bottle in hand Dimitri walked to the next room at his dorm, where he mostly trained and where a silver bathtub was waiting for him with warm water. He placed the bottle on a small table near a full body mirror. The ointment was a tonic given to him by the healers to help the deepest wounds heal up, but it didn’t seem to do any effect. However he continued on hoping it would work one day.  

He took off his white shirt that was covered by the kefta. revealing his scarred light brown skin, reminiscent of his mother who came from Novyi Zem. His leaned but chiseled torso still hadn’t lost the massive scar that crossed from all over his chest to his belly. Dimitri poured some of the ointment on his right hand and slowly began to rub it across the scar. He then turned around and using the mirror he began to apply more of it across the few scars left on his back. After a couple minutes, the ointment dried off and Dimitri striped of the rest of his clothes to enter the bathtub, and for once, in the heat of the water, the smallest pain that was attached to him the whole day vanished. 

He knew that he would not receive any of these glimpses of pain relief for the next days or weeks during his mission, but he preferred being outside, in the heat of the action and in the heat of a royal bath.

[dwellordream]

A Six of Crows Review: Final Thoughts

Well, I got about 60% of the way through Six of Crows and then the pacing kicked into overdrive (and it had already been pretty breakneck), so I didn’t see the point in breaking it down into just four or so chapters at a time anymore. Especially since many of the chapters in the last quarter of the book were barely more than a few pages long.

I have a lot of thoughts on this book and what I think is a lot of missed potential and some good concepts but poor execution. But in general, I think it would be most concise to just break it down into what I think Bardugo did well and what I think she didn’t do well.

What Was Done Well?

It’s refreshing to have a YA fantasy series centered around a city and set in a Renaissance-esque time period as opposed to a medieval one. That said, more could have been done in terms of worldbuilding (like, a lot more), but I liked what I saw.

Ketterdam has a lot of personality as a setting and Bardugo clearly has a very vivid image of it in her head. For that reason I wish most of the book had taken place there, as opposed to in Fjerda, which is… much more thinly sketched and doesn’t really feel like a real place with real people, but a general evil fantasy kingdom with some Nordic and Germanic inspirations. The icy place, icy people trope got played out very quickly.

The concept of the grisha and the magic system is pretty well explained in the book. I had next to no knowledge of it since it’s been years since I tried to read the Grisha Trilogy, but Bardugo does a good job of quickly breaking it down to the reader in easy to understand terms, and to repeatedly bring it back up in ways that don’t feel forced so there’s no confusion between say, a Fabrikator and a Squaller.

Kaz and Inej both have fairly well written backstories. Inej’s was done more sensitively than I expected, given the context, and I think it’s clear Bardugo was trying to be mindful of the pitfalls of writing about sexual abuse and exploitation. 

It’s not perfectly written and I’m not sure it was necessary for both Inej and Nina to wind up in brothels, but I see what she was trying to do and I think she had good intentions. Kaz’s backstory stands out as being genuinely more interesting and compelling than most of the novel’s actual plot set in the present.

Action scenes. Action scenes are notoriously hard to write and I do think Bardugo does a decent job with them. Are they super realistic? No. Are they entertaining and fast paced without being too confusing or dry? Yes. She clearly enjoys the shoot-out, heist stuff and I wish she’d given herself the opportunity to actually focus more on it rather than heaps of exposition and long travel sequences.

What Was Not Done Well?

This book suffers from being the Kaz Brekker show. Kaz is given the most development and page time. Unfortunately, his present self is not that nuanced of a character or that compelling. This makes it even more frustrating when the other POV characters suffer for it.

Jesper especially was treated heinously by this book. We get next to no backstory on him and the reveal that he is a grisha is almost an offhanded moment. He’s essentially a walking camera for most of his chapters, with no introspection or reflection, just there to report events. Inej also has this problem, though this improves slightly over the course of the book.

All of the characters needed way more development and time put into making them seem like actual people and not quippy cardboard cut-outs. We could have spent far less time trying to hammer home how impossibly cool and edgy Kaz is.

The romances. There was next to no chemistry between Kaz and Inej as characters and thus all their romantically tinged moments came across as forced and awkward. I never got a sense for why Inej would be attracted to Kaz or vice versa. In theory, a slowburn allies to friends to lovers romance between them could have been very poignant and well done. In practice, it just didn’t translate well into Bardugo’s writing.

Matthias and Nina *did* have a lot of chemistry, but their characters wound up being unfortunately hamfisted and mangled by their own romance. Bardugo wants to paint the Grisha as both a persecuted minority and terrifying, valid threats who people are right to fear. The allusions to real world atrocities such as the witch trials and the weird Nazi imagery circulating around the Fjerdan nation does not help matters.

While I thought Matthias and Nina had some good, tense interactions, the reveal of their backstory made it lose steam because it involved them acting in seemingly ridiculously trusting and absurd ways. I was not enthused by the attempts to gloss over Matthias’ happy participation in war crimes by going ‘well, Grisha killed his family!’ and ‘Nina lied and got him thrown in prison!’.

It seemed like Bardugo was trying to portray Nina and Matthias being equally morally grey and culpable, when that’s obviously not the case. While Matthias could have been a very compelling and dark character who Nina must struggle to reconcile her feelings for, that just wasn’t the case, and their core ideological conflict ended up being brushed aside with Matthias deciding that Nina is ‘one of the good ones’.

The pacing is wack in this book. I understand Bardugo wanted to keep a very fast pace but the amount of chapters that were barely more than a page was more jarring and irritating than exciting. Many of them could have been combined into the same POV, especially since the POVs themselves were so poorly distinguished from one another.

Final thoughts: I didn’t hate this book. I found some moments frustrating or poorly written and I was very annoyed with the unequal balance of how the characters were treated. But I never wanted to rage quit reading it. On the other hand, while there were a few good scenes, I was never very invested in what happened or in the characters either. 

So over all, I would rate it about a 5.5 out of 10, or something like a C or C-, I suppose. I don’t have much interest in the sequel, despite the obvious cliffhanger it ends on.

[mcheang]

Fjerdan Border

What if instead of being sent across the Fold, Mal and Alina were sent to the northern border? This is a draft because I feel like there could be more to follow only I’m not sure what

Let’s face it, the Darkling would only want the best trackers to find Morozova’s stag so when Mal’s incredible tracking skills earn him attention, he is reassigned.

As for Alina...does it really matter where she is assigned?

Up in the north, Alina is more vulnerable to the cold due to not using her powers (look what happened to Baghra)

She isn’t popular and her vulnerability in the snow impedes her mapmaking progress.

When Mal comes back, he immediately seeks her out, having missed her after weeks of separation. He is horrified to find her near freezing.

They move away from the camp to huddle in an isolated section of the forest. Why? Because Mal wants her relocated but he doesn’t want to be separated from her either. Same goes for Alina. They need to think of a plan.

What should they do?

Desert? They would have to cross the Fold... but what is there for them here anyway? Mal has to fight Fjerdans. Alina has to fight the winter chill. But if they surivive the Volcra, they could be free.

Alina asks if Mal is willing to give up his rising career for her.

Mal: none of that matters when it comes to you. All that time we were apart, I had never realized how much I took you for granted. But now I know. And I see you, Alina.

Alina would have responded, but something caught her eye.

Alina breathed, “Mal, look.”

She spoke softly so as not to startle the majestic stag with moonlight fur and gleaming antlers.

Alina belated noticed that there were hinds following him but was distracted by the sound of Mal cursing. “Damn it. I don’t have any rope. We need to capture the stag alive.”

Alina stood in front of the stag, and blocked Mal with her shivering arms flung out wide. “Don’t you dare!”

“But Alina,” Mal entreated, “once the stag is captured, I can get reassigned. We don’t have to desert and face punishment if we’re caught.”

But Alina was stubborn as ever. “I’d rather freeze to death than give this stag to the Darkling.”

Mal: that’s treason

Alina: we were planning on it anyway!

Alina suddenly felt a snout muzzling her hair. She recalled she had been previously lying on a haystack and there must be some hay still stuck in her hair.

Giggling, she turned around and cradled the stag’s head. She felt warm when she touched the fur. It was like he was calling to her and wanted her to answer.

Alina had no idea what answer the stag was hoping for, maybe more hay or carrots. But some part of her answered anyway.

Mal: um, Alina...you’re glowing.

Alina looked down at herself before looking up at the stag. “I think he saw me freezing and wanted to help. Still think you can stomach turning him over?”

Mal grumbled but could not deny his gratitude to see Alina’s face flushed with warmth and the stag’s mystical presence.

Mal: so then what do we do?

Alina shrugged. “No clue.” She peered at the stag. “Got any ideas?”

Before Alina could see if the stag could actually talk, she heard an unwelcome but familiar voice shouting out, “the stag! Quick, get some rope!”

Alina turned around quickly, just in time to see Dubrov’s back as he ran back to camp with a few other trackers. They had probably come in search of Mal. Mikhael was easing down the slope, trying not to startle the stag.

Turning around, Alina stared deep into the stag’s eyes and urged him with a whisper. “Run! Now! Don’t come back.”

The stag didn’t move. He was still staring at her like he was mesmerized by her light show.

Mal yelled, “hurry up with that rope!”

The hinds were startled and ran off. The stag snorted but galloped after them. Mal could have sworn the stag was practically saying “Real subtle.”

Mikhael: what the hell? You startled it, Mal.

Mal: how was I suppose to know my shout would chase it off when yours didn’t?

Mikhael stared at Alina. “did the stag really make you glow?”

Alina: I was freezing! I think he wanted to help.

Mikhael shook his head. “And what about the rest of us freezing on Fjerdan lands? Sheesh. Just like the fairy tales. Pretty deer only want to help maidens while boys have to fight dragons.”

Alina snapped, “Maybe the stag wasn’t impressed with your attitude or desire to capture him!”

Dubrov returning with the tracking party but too late. Their captain believed their story about the deer, seeing the massive hoof prints for himself. But he was skeptical when not only Dubrov and Mikhael, but two more trackers, gave their witness testimony that Alina had been glowing.

Which sucked because now the captain decided to use Alina as bait, without fire to keep her warm in the clearing.

Only, Alina felt like she could summon some heat into her bones whenever she looked up at the stars for company. She didn’t want to glow again but she did miss the warmth.

Eventually the captain decided to use a different girl instead. Which made Alina unpopular with them. Like she made the switch suggestion herself. Typical.

It didn’t help that Alina started having an appetite and they could no longer scavenge her leftovers.

After maybe a month of this, of trying to map out their new border with Fjerda, Alina was surprised to see the Darkling arrive.

Looking to Mal for answers, he could only offer what he suspected. “The Darkling must really want that stag. The captain wrote a report on the whole thing as usual, to explain why we’re sitting here instead of ranging the forests.”

Only the Darkling wasn’t interested in the trackers so much as Alina.

Alina’s brain was whirring at the idea of giving her own testimony to the Darkling himself.

Darkling stared at her from his desk. “Were you tested by a Grisha examiner before?”

Alina nodded, confused. “Yes, when I was eight.”

Darkling: but they concluded you didn’t have any power

Alina: yes.

Darkling: only I was told you just summoned light

Alina: that wasn’t me. It was the stag.

Darkling: the stag can’t give you power unless you already have it. And ever since then, you’ve been able to summon heat to survive the cold nights and even your health has improved from what I hear.

Alina: I’m not Grisha.

Darkling: only one way to find out. Come here.

Alina took a few steps to the middle of the room.

Darkling: closer.

Alina walked until she was in front of the Darkling. “It wasn’t me.”

Darkling: lift up your sleeve.

Alina frowned. She pushed up her jacket sleeve, underneath, there was no sweater. But the Darkling could feel the sunshine heat somehow coating her skin.

The Darkling lifted his palms and Alina was terrified to see darkness blossoming. “Now let’s see what you can do.”

His palms met and the darkness spread.

Alina glanced around frantically and startled when she felt the Darkling’s cool fingers close around her arm.

Instantly she was met with another call. Albeit this one was more cool and bossy than the stag’s.

Alina felt something inside her start to answer. Like it answered the stag or her longing for warmth.

She was hesitant to answer the Darkling’s call. But her body had already been summoning for so long, it reacted.

To her surprise. She began to glow. It was gentle, practically hesitant in front of the Darkling, dimmer than the radiance she showed in front of the stag.

Alina looked around and saw the Grisha were slack-jawed.

The Darkling let Alina go but she still glowed like a small sun.

Alina: you’re like the stag...

Darkling nodded. “And you’re Grisha.”

Alina: wait, what?

Darkling: Ivan, see to my sleigh. We leave for the Little Palace before nightfall.

Alina shied away from the huge man in the red kefta. “Hang on! I think there’s been a mistake. I’m not what you think I am.”

Darkling: I doubt you have any idea what you are.

The Darkling turned to Ivan. “Go.” Then addressed the captain. “Keep searching for the stag. It was drawn to the sun summoner but we can’t risk the Fjerdans getting her.”

Needless to say, Alina spent the carriage ride with the Darkling protesting as he tried to explain what being a Grisha meant and lowering her défenses.

When the Darkling admitted he intends to use the stag’s antlers to amplify Alina’s abilities, she downright protested.

Darkling: is one life worth so many of Ravka’s people?

Alina hesitated. “Give me another amplifier. There has to another powerful one.”

Darkling: there is, but we would have to cross the Fold to reach it.

Alina: Can’t you amplify my powers for that?

Darkling: I have an army to run

Alina pretty much gives the Darkling the cold shoulder from that point onwards.

[commander-vas-normandy]

Ruin and Rewriting

I was salty enough to start on a little mini fic to give myself the ending I needed to the Grisha trilogy, so hopefully the rest of you Alarkling fans will appreciate it too. So here’s a little excerpt from what I have so far if anyone is interested.

I woke to a metallic taste on my tongue, my eyes readjusting to the darkness. I thought for sure I would be dead, but with my Saintsforsaken luck Mal or Tolya probably grabbed me before the roof of the chapel could collapse all the way. That thought was quickly chased away by the rattle of chains. I turned my head to the noise and froze when I noticed the clasp around my ankle; Grisha steel. I was alive…but so was he. I made some feeble attempts at calling for help despite knowing no one would be there. I didn’t know what was worse; the idea of rotting down here or the realization that he wouldn’t let me.

“My dearest Alina,” his voice was smooth as usual, but tinged with obvious annoyance. My head snapped up as he stood in front of me. I hadn’t even heard him come in. “I should have expected this.”

“You brought this on yourself. Do you really think I would actually help you with the Fold? Help you do destroy Ravka?” My voice was stronger than I felt, but I refused to be afraid of him any longer.

“Destroy Ravka? Is that what you really think I’m doing?” He watched me carefully, taking me in before moving to kneel before me. I flinched away as he gently cupped my chin and I saw the slightest flash of anger in his eyes before it faded. “I believe the otkazat’sya have done that for me. No, I plan to improve it. I once told you that the age of the Grisha was coming to an end, but it doesn’t have to be that way.”

He was right, mad, but right. With the new weapons that Nikolai was beginning to ship in and even create himself, the Small Science wouldn’t even begin to compare. But this war he was creating would only leave Ravka in ruins. The otkazat’sya would only fear us more and trust us less. The progress that had been made that allowed us just to even live in the Little Palace safely would be destroyed and he didn’t care. How could he? He didn’t even care about the lives of those in Novakribirsk when he used me to slaughter them all to prove his power to the Shu and the Fjerdans.

“Using the Fold to destroy whole cities just to prove you have power isn’t going to solve anything. If you even leave any of them behind what’s left will only fear us and-”

“Then let them!” he cut me off, that usually calm composure lost as he let his grip on my chin slide back to grab me by the jaw. “I lived for years under their rule. I lived by constantly moving, constantly changing names, praying to whatever Saints may actually be up there that we wouldn’t get caught up in a witch hunt and be slaughtered on the spot. I saw whole villages razed in the name of fear and so I’ll do the same to them.”

In that moment I could see the little boy that Baghra herself seemed to still see him as. I had heard stories about way back when of witch hunts, but the stories were as old as Ravka itself and they seemed like mere tales made up to scare Grisha children into behaving. Sometimes, despite it all, it was easy to forget just how long he had been in this world.

So let me know what you think and if you’d be interested in me writing the rest of this. (Which, I’m going to either way, but actually posting is a different story.)