#and he was packing schmeat?

[ijustthinkhesneat]

You know that one snl skit where they give there son the talk and he comes out as bisexual?

That would be Martha and Thomas Wayne if they didn’t get iced in that alley.

[darlingjmiller]

I just wanna say thank you to pedro almodovar. a man with a vision.

[14dayswithyou]

does Ren have all those 14's because he's packing 14 inches of schmeat?

✦゜ANSWERED: I diiiid once say that for every time someone makes fun of his butt, I'll add another inch to his PP......... >:3c rip babes

[slamminslamminmcgill]

IM IN LOVE WITH NACHO VARGA

I feel like he could and would murder me but I just wanna be topped nd called a good boy you know..

🧙‍♂️ im ur wisard anon the gay wisard

HI WIZARD ANON WELCOME everyone gather round let’s taco bout nacho :3

anatomical terms: cunt/pussy/vagina/front hole, t-dick, dick/strap (both of y’all you are t4t 😌)

nacho is trans. if you do not agree you're wrong + ratio + no bitches + you will not survive the winter + woe be upon ye

hard top. the gorilla grip nacho bell grande pussy is off limits. he MAY let you put it in the back hole once in a blue moon but never the front hole. T hit him w/ the vaginal atrophy hard so he really wouldn’t enjoy anything inside it most of the time. he’s packing some schmeat tho his t-dick is hung!! ik the show takes place in 2001 but society if nacho varga could get metoidioplasty

why do i think it’d be pierced too 😳 absolutely melts if you play with it he’s so sensitive there teehee

bc he’s packing some serious schmeat he can probably actually cum from topping!! as he’s fucking you the strap will rub up against him and get him off too.

he probably has a decent dick collection too. all sorts of fun ones with different textures, ridiculous sizes, vibrators >:33 he loves making you take them and watching how you react to each one.

"you like this one? hm... i dunno... i think you should take the bigger one. " he says as he pulls out a fucking warhammer strap.

"are you insane?! where exactly are you going to put that?!"

"in your cunt, dumbass, where else? you want me to, don't you? don't lie, you're not good at it."

loves the noises you make when he stretches you out :3 he loves pushing your limits like that teehee

does not moan, does not whine except when getting head, GROWLS. deep and low and raspy and OOOOOOOO

not super talkative, but when he does he makes it count. equal parts degradation and praise. i think maybe once in a while he'd call you the f slur/homophobic things for the Drama but never the t slur/transphobic things. i think trans stuff is very sensitive for him so he probably wouldn't want to say that to someone else. he will ABSOLUTELY slut shame you tho 😌

when he's feeling nice: "good boy. that's it. just like that, come on, you can do it."

when he's feeling mean: "you enjoying yourself, slut? yeah, i bet. now, shut up, stop bitching and moaning, and fucking take it."

oh and when i say hard top? i mean HARD TOP. you will be bruised/bitten/beaten slightly. you have been warned.

[inkwingsinc]

Love the fic! and just to reiterate no pressure at all we’re all along for the rude. Do you have any headcanons- face claims for Nostya Mulligan? Love him as a character and have been missing him!

I'll be honest, even if people were beating down my inbox like it owed them money to get me to update I'd still be flattered to hell and back. I used to feel a lil prickly when I'd get pleas to update but for real though I do it to myself, too. Like bestie (@/myself) please write. please. the visions are too haunting

I've attempted to use Midjourney AI to make a lil image of Nostya and this was as close as I got, but it wasn't perfect: (pic and headcanons under the cut)

Also no minors. None. No exceptions

<3 war criminal <3

Take away his eyebrows and there you have him, folks. His nose is a bit wider, nose bridge a bit flatter. Teeth black all the way up. Tattoos much darker and central on his neck.

!!!Headcanons!!!

He is somewhere between 5'3" - 5'5". Short kings rise. You don't need to be tall and bulky to be physically imposing and dangerous.

His neck tattoos serve a function to cover some pretty horrific scarring. Failed beheading <3

He is much, much older than the Harkonnen nephews. I'd say maybe late fifties, early sixties. Still spry and healthy, all things considered. Lives off gonduri root and whatever Master Aalto is cooking up in his lil infirmary lab

Alongside the Baron, this is the little wretch responsible for Feyd-Rautha's eating disordered tendencies. Like. You think the Na-Baron is natty????? Nahhhhh. It's nutrient paste and dirty bulk-cut cycles all the way down. (use your imagination to think of what the Geidi Prime equivalent of HGH-test and chicken-rice-broccoli is)

This is the man who trained Feyd-Rautha to be a warrior. He was an absolute terror to him. They have a very fucked up father-son relationship, basically (Nostya Mulligan is essentially Feyd-Rautha's brat tamer iykyk)

The blade Laera wears on her thigh? It's the first blade Nostya ever gave the Na-Baron as a boy <3

House Mulligan is originally from Lankiveil. He was installed as House Warmaster shortly after Rabban killed his father. Curiously--he and Rabban are old friends (which makes Feyd jealous)

Packing schmeat. Not sorry.

Unrepentant sadist who relies on people underestimating him.

He's a student of history and is very shrewd. His knowledge of battle tactics is vast and he is responsible for at least one genocide (probably the one that subjugated Geidi Prime). Horrible little asshole. Does it all with a smile on his face

Aromantic pansexual. Will he let you hit? yes

he might kill you after

So uhhhh here's the weird one. You want to know what his voice sounds like? Go on Reddit and type in 99asmr. Listen to the gonewildaudio post called The Maze. You're welcome (also my fic is written by an adult for adults so no minors whatsoever should ever interact with, view, or otherwise think about my content. This goes triply for what I've just recommended). Do I headcanon Nostya as having a bit of a French accent? Yeah. Can't help it.

[puck-luck]

luke just wants the world to know he’s packing schmeat i’m so sorry

LMAOOOOO we been knew but also GIRL LET IT BREATHE!!!! LET YOUR LIL (little? idk about that...) FRIEND GET SOME AIR!!!!!!!! SHE'S SUFFOCATINGGGGGG

[franciskirkland-deleted]

let's be real Arthur is not hung but he's creative in bed. How creative is he though?

that's rude... he could be. again different AUs different interps. i have several Arthur Kirklands rotating around my brain like a microwave burrito and yes some of them have a cuck chode but let's be even realer; he's an alpha male and he can have a big dick as a treat. yes i think there are guys who are bigger like alasdair and ivan but there's no reason that arthur can't reach deep inside his whore wife's guts and impale her. this is fiction it's supposed to be fun. and physical size doesn't always correlate with penis size.

also u clearly don't know that sometimes it's skinny white boys that look like they haven't slept in weeks who are packing outrageous schmeat...

ur right in that he is kinky and creative but tbh i'm done. if you want me to entertain you maybe start by not insulting my favorite characters/HCs

[sumetal]

for the smash or pass i legally gotta submit m comfort characters: leon kennedy and sakunosuke oda (from bsd)

Leon Kennedy I'll pass I get he's everyone's babygirl but he's just not my type...... I would be his hag though

Oda absolute 100% smash I know he's only in his early 20s but he's such a dilf about it. The energies. I know he's packing some schmeat and he's gentle with it too

[corhore]

Let's be honest, we know Mr. Incredible is packing that schmeat, but even if he wasn't, it wouldn't be an issue for Helen. She could theoretically stretch or shrink her coochie to match whatever Bob is bringing to the table. It wouldn't matter if Bob had a doorknob sized wang, a horsecock, or a micropenis, as long as he put in the effort on his end, she'd probably do whatever needed to be done on her end.

Ain't no way in hell Bob isn't packing a 15 incher. If Helen can have a super ass than he should have a super dong.

But yes your are correct.

[lizzy-calaxio]

Tell us about him! Where's he from, what's he like, is he nice? Does he like moogles? Is he packing schmeat in those pants?

He is nice! Or at least, I think so, I may be bias. He and Lizzy like to pickpocket wealthy stuck up snobs. Sometimes when Lizzy uses sylph-speak (Calling herself "This One" or the like), he'll gently tease Lizzy over it, causing her to blush

He's not my OC, but I think he doesn't mind moogles too much? Not fond of but doesn't dislike them.

As for the last question, God I hope so

[kingyeen]

Bowser is an excellent father, and I have no doubt he's a great husband... but how can he compete with Asterius, the original cowboy. Look at him, he'll hold you tight, cradle you for hours, and always be there for you. Bowser? He has a Kingdom to run, you'll either be second in his priorities, or at risk of a coup.

Plus you know Asterius is packing schmeat.

[impishsensei-a]

[ text ] no because i TOLD you he had something going on with that demon jogo.

[ text ] 😨😰 did you see the way gojo-kun used his arm like a pole in a Saturday night club? its FRUITY

[ konata (oc) ]

[ to : konata-kun ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- ] wtf why is everyone airing out my business... [ to : konata-kun ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- ] look if i wanna get freaky with curses that's my business! [ to : konata-kun ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- ] i just wanted to intimidate jogo-chan and let him know i'm packing serious schmeat

[blushingkatya]

weird that people ship lan xichen with jin guangyao when jgy is SUCH a little bitch. lxc’s fine ass would never

[sacredstem]

i do wonder who would win.. zuck has that jewish schmeat but i don’t think elon would have brought it up (or act so foolish) if he wasn’t packing something 🤔

I know the rituals

[heich0e]

Ok but how many shots to hook up with Bertl?

minimum 9 and an epidural