#and he jumped real high at the end of the episode. I enjoyed that :)

[running-in-the-dark]

wait is Lana just gone now?? like forever?? nooo I love her 😭

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 某某 / Mou Mou / The On1y One

The On1y One is a 2024 Taiwanese coming-of-age drama about two high school students who fall in love, but more importantly, become friends -- and oh, they're also living in the same house now, because their parents have decided to get married.

Let's get this part out of the way: Yes, they're (almost) stepbrothers. No, that is not a kink thing at all, especially since they meet and start having complicated emotions about one another before they know their parents are together. Look, I had a childhood acquaintance promoted to stepsibling when I was in high school too, and I can tell you that your feelings about someone do not immediately jump to close family status just because your mom likes their dad. This is a show about how becoming a family; it is not a show about fucking your family.

Here are five reasons I think you should absolutely watch this twelve-episode drama -- and they're going to be as spoiler-free as I can make them, largely because...

1. Holy shit, it's ... actually good?

Believe me, no one could be as shocked as I was to find out this was a thing of actual quality. I first found out about this as 'hey, the handsome doctor from House Haunters is in a Taiwanese BL about high-schoolers' -- which of course sold me on it immediately, as I thought Liu Dongqin was the absolute highlight of the beautiful disaster that is Psych-Hunter, but which also, you must admit, sounds more like a novelty than a real thing of objective value.

Thus, I was prepared for trash! More accurately, I was prepared to enjoy trash. I am clearly on record as a trash-enjoyer. I was going to tuck in and gleefully laugh my way through awkward antics just to see that handsome boy kiss another boy.

Which means I was not prepared to be knocked off my feet by how thoughtful, intense, well-acted, and damn beautiful this series is. It's good. It's actually good. It is, like Beyond Evil, a thing you could put in front of Your Average American Television Enjoyer Who Can Handle Subtitles (And Boys Kissing) without having to apologize every five seconds about the jank. It's stunningly lit. It's chunked into episodes that have reasons to be episodes. It's well-written in a way that even comes through the translation.

Here's a clue to its quality: It's directed by Liu Kuang-Hui, known for Your Name Engraved Herein, an explictly gay film released in 2020 that won, like, all the awards -- which it fucking deserved to. (You don't need to have seen Your Name to watch this, but I think if you have, it adds an extra layer of meaning.) This is a BL made by someone who understands how being a teen boy in love with another teen boy is like being expected to walk around with a knife in your stomach while you pretend everything's fine.

But this is not a show about misery! It is a show about building connections, learning to trust, getting over yourself, and finding joy in taking care of other people. Maybe that sounds a little grandiose for a tiny Taiwanese BL, but it's not an exaggeration. When this drama bills itself as a coming-of-age narrative, it means it's going headfirst into the beautiful hell of being seventeen.

Keep those tissues on hand. You'll need them.

2. What if you fell in love with someone you also liked?

This is a true cat4cat relationship -- but different cat personalities! Finally, diverse cat representation!

Jiang Tian is a feral kitty who has spent so long telling everyone he hates them that he has no idea how to convey that he likes someone, and thus spends the first several episodes basically dropping dead birds at Sheng Wang's feet. Don't let his stoic nature fool you -- he's exactly as into this as (and much sooner than) the much more demonstrative Sheng Wang. Episodes end with little scenes you saw earlier, but recontextualized from Jiang Tian's perspective. So don't ever worry that Jiang Tian's being taken advantage of or coerced in any way. The boy has agency, and he uses it.

Meanwhile Sheng Wang is like a pampered little housecat who only eats wet food and sulks about everything -- but he's earned at least some of it, as he's clearly dealing with some major life upheavals. New city! New school! New friends! New house! New stepmom! New stepbrother! New and horrible things his teenage body is doing to him! So it's not surprising that he's clinging to what familiar comforts he has, even if it means being a total bitch about it.

And they become friends. That's the great part. This is a love story, but it's a love story where the love is friend-shaped. If anything, the friendship is the more important (and visible) aspect of the dynamic. It's not saying that one is more righteous or correct than the other -- it's saying that friendship is part of romantic love! Maybe it's even the best part of it! Maybe the only thing better than falling in love is making your crush your best friend and then falling in love with them.

It gets to the point where they spend most of their time not thinking about being in love with one another because they're such good friends. This is just what having a best friend is like, right?

(Jiang Tian knows it is not just what having a best friend is like. Jiang Tian is constantly chewing glass because he's sure friendship is the best he's going to get out of this, and also it's the best friendship he's ever had, and if that's all he gets -- and it will be, he's sure of it -- it'll be enough. It'll have to be.)

My favorite parts of their relationship are when Sheng Wang and Jiang Tian get to just enjoy spending time with one another as complete goobers. They're such teen boys! I mean, they're teen boys from very particular circumstances that have made them have to grow up fast, so it's great when they just get to regress around one another and act their age. The whole scene at the carnival is by itself worth the price of admission.

Look, here's some more shots of them being cute at one another. Don't let Jiang Tian's stoic face in the other pictures fool you. He's capable of making expressions, and it's so good when he does.

See?

3. This, too, is yuri

I mean, shit, you make a gay teacher and I'm already there. You make two gay teachers and I'm going to love you forever. Then you make them both gay teachers and gay owners of a little gay cafe? I don't know if my little trope-loving heart can take it!

Enter Zhao Xi and Lin Tingbei ("Benny").

From the moment you meet these two, it is obvious to you, the viewer, that they are a married couple. Except they're not. They're not married. They're not even a couple. It took me like nine episodes to realize that the reason they're acting so weird is not that they're trying to hide their relationship from other people, but that they're not in a relationship. They are mutually pining for one another and have no idea that the other one is having similar feelings.

Sorry, I have to go feral about these two sapphic-coded gay men for a moment: You two had an incredible meet-cute, went abroad at the same time, came back together, opened a cafe together, call one another "partner," have rainbow motifs on various visible objects in your life, AND YOU STILL ARE UNAWARE THAT YOU'RE BOTH IN LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER

I can't stress this enough: When you meet them, your first thought is, oh, you two are married. MARRIED. Not just dating, but comfortably wedded. I kept expecting one of them to have a gentle After-School Special moment he tells the children, no, we're life partners as well as business partners. But they didn't! And do you know why? It's because THEY DON'T EVEN SEEM TO KNOW THAT THE OTHER ONE IS ALSO GAY

The only thing that makes sense is that they're both male lesbians. This is some Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! shit right here. How do you unknowingly wind up in what is basically a marriage with man you've never even kissed? I don't know, but they've somehow managed to do it. It's insane. It's incredible.

I don't even feel like I'm spoiling you for anything here! Like, I wish I'd known from the start they weren't actually together, because I was baffled by their side plot for fully three-quarters of the series. Why are they behaving like this? Why are you being weirdly jealous about the hot lady teacher? Oh, it's because YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE HUSBANDS, THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU HUSBANDS

WE GOT DOUBLE MUTUAL PINING HERE, FOLKS, DOUBLE MUTUAL PINING, TWO SUCCESSIVE GENERATIONS OF GAY DIPSHITS WHO ARE AS BAD AS YOU CAN BE ABOUT FEELINGS WITHOUT IMMEDIATELY DYING OF IT

Sorry about the caps lock, just ... I'll be over here screaming into a pillow about it, okay? Okay, thanks.

4. Actual Teen Feelings

So nobody in this production is an actual teenager; both leads were just on the underside of thirty when it filmed, and all the other "kids" are at least in their mid-twenties.

And honestly, I like the aged-up casting better, since ... look, I'm over forty, and I just don't find the youths as attractive as I did when I was much closer to that age. Seeing actual 16- and 17-year-olds do this would have given me the ick. So I feel kind of like, this is a teen story told for adults, and the way it does that is by giving you actors that embody how cool you thought your peers looked when you were that age, and not how gangly and awkward everyone actually looked.

I've described the behavior of the teen characters as "rationally irrational" -- like, you know that the decisions they're making are bad, and they kind of know it too, but you also get that they don't have the regulatory mechaisms to compensate for when their hormones tell them it's time to sulk, or or talk back, or lie, or do something reckless. They're stupid teens, but they're not stupid because the writing is stupid. They're stupid because the writing is good and knows exactly how stupid teens are.

And of course this is most visible with our boys, who are complete dipshits in some very rationally irrational ways.

I alluded earlier to the fact that I have stepsiblings, and that I acquired them during my teen years, so yeah, a lot of the complicated stepfamily dynamics hit hard for me. Sheng Wang's mother is dead, and he's being a sulky baby about it because he (kind of correctly!) feels like his dad both is trying to replace her and has started paying attention more to his new partner than to his son. Sure, an adult with more coping mechanisms would be able to handle it without being a dick to everyone around them. But he's not an adult -- but also he's not not an adult? He's in that awful place of adolescence where you feel all grown up, but people still keep making huge life decisions for you. I remember it; it sucks.

Meanwhile Jiang Tian's father is still alive, but that's complicated too and has led to Jiang Tian's being kind of estranged from both his divorced parents. His then becomes a story less about how to get along with your new stepfather, and more how to reconcile with a mother who wasn't always in a place to make the best decisions for you she could, as you are yourself approaching the age she was when she made those decisions.

It's just so many feelings! Just a giant fucked-up Sargasso Sea of feelings! Every nerve is raw and every emotion is like staring straight at the sun! So many characters are completely at the mercy of their worst instincts, to the point where you can't even be mad because, yeah, if I had no ability to tell my most visceral intrusive thoughts to go away, I'd be ruining my own life left and right too.

Also, you are not prepared for the parts with boners. I say no more.

bonus: LUCKY CAT!!!

When was the last time you saw a fat character in a piece of Asian media -- or a piece of any media -- who was just allowed to be fat in peace? Whose fatness was not the constant butt of jokes? Who was not depicted always (comedically) eating? Who wasn't thrown into the mix just so their sexual/romantic interest in some skinny person could be turned into gross-out moments?

Lucky Cat is the best. Her students call her Lucky Cat because she's always cheerful and she does a precious little paw thing. The name is meant to be endearing! They like her, and she's portrayed consistently as a good educator and generally nice person to be around. She's fashionable, too! She has the cutest little outfits!

And she's fat! It's just a thing about her not worth commenting upon! Shit, I wish the show's lack of commentary weren't worth my commenting upon, except, ugh, you know it is. It's even more so worth saying because I've seen her in something else where she was exactly what she isn't here, and it was vile. The contrast is incredible.

Love you, girl, one fat, overcaffeinated educator to another.

5. Delicious(ly timed) pining

I want to talk about the structure of the show for a moment, and I'm going to try and do it as spoiler-free as I can. Even so, this gets into territory that you might be better off going into blind, especially if you like the tension of not knowing where a love story is going. If you're convinced already that you need to watch this show, skip this section -- scroll right down to the picture of a pitcher and glass of lemon water on a kitchen counter.

Go on, now, get.

However, if you're still on the fence about watching it, though (or if you've seen it already and just like reading my thoughts on it!), here's a very slightly spoilery selling point for you:

Normally, BL shows are all about waiting for the moment those boys finally realize what's up and kiss one another. The On1y One makes what I think is a brilliant decision to frontload the kissing. These boys smooch twice all the way up in episode 2 -- but under circumstances that are, respectively, a dare and a faux-casual demonstration that the dare didn't mean anything.

And that's it. They don't kiss again.

I think this is such a good choice because it makes those boys spend the entire rest of the show with three thoughts in their heads: we have already kissed; it didn't mean anything to him; I think it might mean something to me. Their entire friendship is colored by the knowledge that, yeah, that happened. If anything, it makes the BL-style waiting even more glorious, because now it's not about wondering if I kissed him, what would he do? but about wondering if I kissed him again, would it still be a joke to him?

There's also some very good asymmetry in there, in how Jiang Tian is clearly already the world's greatest expert at stuffing his gay desires into a little box and not making them anyone else's problem, while Sheng Wang is having a sexual awakening in real time.

You figure out very near the end why Jiang Tian has a complicated relationship to his own gay longings, and boy, is it a hell of a reason. I know we joke about characters who are both gay and homophobic, and I don't want to call him homophobic, because that's not it. But you definitely get to see why, of all his locked-down feelings, he's locked the gay ones down hardest of all.

Meanwhile Sheng Wang is popular, has friends, has surely been on a number of cute and chaste little dates, has probably even kissed a couple very nice girls -- and has clearly never had a horny thought in his entire life before now. He is both falling in love and figuring out what makes him hard at the same time, and oh boy, that is some rough shit to hit at seventeen. You get to see him recontextualize those kisses several times, slowly putting names to the emotions he didn't know he was having. And when he does finally understand the extent of what he's feeling, he makes a stupid decision about it, because of course he does. He's seventeen. Stupid decisions come with the territory.

Anyway, once they finally get to fucking, Sheng Wang is going to be the lord high king of the bratty bottoms. Just an absolute menace. He's got Jiang Tian's number so hard, and Jiang Tian is going to love suffering through every minute of it.

~

Okay, did you scroll down? Here's a little more spoiler buffer! Hi! How are you doing today? I'm having fun writing this. I hope you'll like watching it. There, that should be enough.

caveat: This is not an ending.

I need to stress how much this is clearly made to be a part one of more, and also how a second season has not been announced and thus is not guaranteed. I am being optimistic based on a) how good it is, b) how much clout the director has, and c) the fact that it's so new, it makes sense that further installments might not be announced yet. But if an unfinished (and possibly never-finished) series bothers you, maybe put this one in your pocket for later.

But oh, this show needs a second season. I am burning incense to the television gods in hope that it gets a second season.

Want to tuck in for some actual good television?

This one is wonderfully easy to find. We watched it on GagaOOLala, but you can also find it on AppleTV, WeTV, Viki, and iQiyi.

Back to the Your Name Engraved Herein connection: The On1y One reads to me in many ways like a celebration of how far Taiwanese culture has come about gay people. Like, things still absolutely aren't perfect in 2012, when this show is set, but at the same time, it's no longer 1987 -- which was the homophobic, hopeless world Liu Kuang-Hui grew up in. If Your Name tells the story of what actually happened, this series tells the story of what the person that all happened to imagines things could be like today. It's so hopeful it makes me choke up a little thinking about it.

Bah, just go watch it. Do it! Go! There's links right up there!

Gay thoughts say peek-a-boo.

[necroromantics]

Ticci Toby + Bipolar Disorder

Partially an educational post, partially a how-to-write guide.

(check out my how-to-write aspd/psychopathy here)

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder (shortened to BD, not BPD), is a mood disorder that causes a person to experience extreme fluncuations in their moods and energy levels. These episodes swing from depressive lows to manic highs. Despite popular belief, bipolar episodes last a long time (1+ weeks), and typically have a period of stability in between them. It is NOT the same as borderline personality disorder, they are two very different disorders.

Does Toby canonically have bipolar?

Sort of. His canon reference sheet shows 'bipolar' as one of his personality traits. This is just an error on the creators part, since they were young and didn't know what real bipolar disorder is. Bipolar isn't a personality trait, and the mood swings in the disorder are not quick switches. The way it's used on his sheet is more like borderline personality disorder than it is bipolar disorder. So if we're talking about whats canon, I'd say it's up for interpretation.

Do you headcanon Toby to have bipolar?

I do, but mostly because I have BD myself, and I like to project that onto him. Theres no characters in media who have bipolar disorder that I enjoy/know of, because honestly its kind of a pain in the ass to write. I rarely include it in any of my stories involving him, even though having untreated bipolar disorder is something that would effect him every day of his life, and severely. I would rather people not write him having bipolar at all, than to write it as BPD or other misinforming ways.

How to properly write Toby with bipolar?

A bit of this can also apply to any other character. First, the obvious, is to do research. Bipolar is something that needs to be treated, because manic highs and depressive lows are so life-altering, damaging, and cause a lot of harm to the individual. Since Toby is a killer on the run, he most likely wouldn't have access to proper treatment, which means his entire life would be a series of intense highs and lows. This is why I usually don't bother including his bipolar symptoms in my writing, cuz it's a hassle incorporating him going wildly manic at random points, even though its the harsh reality people with bipolar disorder face. So if you're going to write Toby with BD, you will need to be prepared to write how inconvenient the disorder is for not only Toby himself, but everyone around him.

It would interfere with his work as a proxy, it would greatly impact his relationships with the people around him. It might even end up with him getting caught by the police, or thrown into a psychiatric hospital (most people with bipolar end up in a psych ward at some point). If you do want to write him being treated for his disorder, you'll need to look into medication. One of the most common ones is lithium, but did you know some anticonvulsants (the medication Tim takes in Marble Hornets), act as a secondary treatment for bipolar disorder too? Carbamazepine is an example of this. You could incorporate that as well, since in Marble Hornets anticonvulsants are used to potentially lessen the effects of The Operator.

What do manic episodes look like? How would they effect Toby?

Manic episodes are very intense highs in mood and energy. Despite what people say, real manic episodes are only experienced in people with bipolar disorder. Other disorders such as ADHD and BPD can mimic mania, but they are not classified as true manic episodes. So if you want to write mania, the character needs to have bipolar (or schizoaffective).

Some symptoms of a manic episode are racing thoughts, lack of judgment, feeling untouchable or overly confident, no consideration for consequences, talking a lot, jumbled words from speaking too fast, jumping from one task to another. It feels like a constant surge of energy going through your body, and its so overwhelming you can't stop to think about anything you're doing. You just feel absolutely euphoric, and capable, and like nothing can bring you down. A very real danger of manic episodes is that some people experience co-occurring psychosis alongside their episodes, such as delusions and hallucinations. Another issue is that people with mania are so full of energy, they don't sleep for days on end. These highs can also lead to dangerous acts due to the recklessness and lack of proper judgement on whats safe/smart in that moment. There is also hypomania, which is a lesser, more mild form of mania.

For Toby, it completely depends on how you view his character and circumstances. But for me, I think that in a manic episode, Toby would cause many issues in his relationships with the people around him. He would be much more irritable, paranoid, he would go on rants and talk a lot, jumping from one rant to another. He wouldn't sleep for days, he would become increasingly reckless and grandiose. Toby would fight more with others, go off on his own a lot more, do a lot of risky things, and with his CIPA he would most definitely get himself hurt a lot more and more severely. When you're manic, you don't stop to consider the risks of the reckless things you're doing.

What do depressive episodes look like? How would they effect Toby?

Depressive episodes may come directly after a manic episode, a crash, or they can come on randomly after a period of stability. They typically last longer than manic episodes, usually about 1+ months. They're periods of an intense drop in mood and energy levels, which are often pretty severe.

The symptoms of depressive episodes are similar to regular depression, but not quite the same, and typically on the more severe end of the spectrum. Utter hopelessness and bleakness, suicidal thoughts, oversleeping, lack of interest in anything, sadness, difficulties concentrating, slower thinking, social isolation. Bipolar lows feel like energy and life is being sucked right out of you. All you want to do is sleep, nothing feels interesting, or you don't have any energy to do things that used to make you happy. People are disappointing, you don't want to talk to anyone. The lows feel very heavy, very tiring.

When Toby is experiencing a low episode, I can't imagine he gets out much. He would probably disappear for a bit, to be left alone, because he doesn't want to be around anybody. He would spend his time sleeping as much as he can, and then the rest of his time doing proxy work, and then going back to sleep. He probably wouldn't want to be awake with his hopeless and bleak thoughts.

What are mixed episodes?

Hell on earth. Mixed episodes are when someone with BD experiences both manic and depressive symptoms in rapid succession or at the same time. This can look like feeling super energetic, but also horribly hopeless and depressed, or being on top of the world one minute, and then wanting to off yourself the next. They are very intense, and dangerous. It feels like you're losing your mind, and you can't catch yourself. You just have to sit there and let your mind take you on the worst rollercoaster of your life.

What are some things to avoid when writing bipolar disorder?

For the love of GOD stop mixing it up with borderline personality disorder. Bipolar is a MOOD DISORDER, not a personality disorder. The mood swings are not quick or volatile, there is no fear of abandonment, or unstable emotions. The mood swings are more like intense changes in energy that effects the mood, and they typically last over the course of a week+. Toby canonically does have volatile, rapidly shifting and unpredictable emotions, but that would not be a result of his bipolar disorder (besides maybe during a manic episode).

And the obvious, don't demonize the disorder and make him out to be a crazy person because he's bipolar. Toby is nuts, but not because he has BD.

If you have any more questions, Google is free, but make sure to find reliable and professional sources. But also, if you want to DM me or send a question in my inbox I'm free to answer with my personal experience, and headcanons, about bipolar and how it may present in Toby.

[utilitycaster]

Part of why it’s tough to talk about the most recent episodes is that I feel a lot of people treat party dynamics, culpability vs. victimhood, and overall character focus on the show, based on an idea of a zero sum game, and I find that fallacious.

It’s really valid for everyone to be furious at Ashton, and I don’t think anyone has behaved wildly inappropriately towards them. I don’t think Bells Hells behaved in a therapy-approved manner either, but as is frequently discussed this is fiction and not real life and therapy-approved discussions are so boring and unnatural in, to be honest, either fiction or real life, that this is not a metric anyone whose opinion I respect would use.

It’s also extremely understandable how Ashton got here. As Taliesin said on 4SD, and now in-game and in-character, the fact that nothing good had ever really happened to Ashton means that they jumped at the first sign that they might be special and ran with it. The Ashton and FCG parallels continue; the past week has been a bunch of important people telling him how unique and cool he is. Jumping into the lava even worked out well for them! And so, riding high on that hubris, and with the knowledge that the rest of the party would probably stop them, they deliberately deceived everyone but Fearne. He even admits that the fact that “very smart people” (Evontra’vir, Allura, arguably Percy) advised against it was part of why he made the decision he did. It was perfectly in character, it did come from their trauma, and it still was a choice that was harmful to them, to the rest of the party, and to a vitally important mission. Ashton covers the situation well: they wanted someone else to blame, but in the end it was their fault.

Ashton is both deeply traumatized and also responsible for a number of their own problems. To be honest, I think this can be said to an extent about everyone in the party, but that’s beside the point. Within the fandom, swinging entirely to one side (They are a horrible selfish monster who ruined everything and are lucky the party is still talking to them) or the other (He has had a very hard life and exploding hurt a lot and everyone should be nice to him as a result) is an incomplete picture at best and a realization of the post author’s unexamined bias at worst.

It’s much easier to cover the other kind of zero sum: that of the show’s, and the fandom’s focus. The show is telling a story. In a good story, everyone will get their time in the sun, but if you’re counting how many minutes each person talks you have quite literally lost the plot. If your favorite isn’t getting the time you wish they did, it’s worth considering what sort of actions they take. Rarely do I find a main PC to actually be sidelined; more frequently, they just have a more subtle plot and the actor playing them realizes this. And in the case of the fandom’s focus; I’d be a hypocrite if I said complaining wasn’t valid, but you’ll achieve far more by making good posts about an underrated character than whining that other characters exist. People can enjoy multiple things at once, and frequently do.

[callipraxia]

Lying here at 7am, sneezing my head off because of ragweed, and I had a thought about the novelization of Revenge of the Sith.

Early in said novelization, there’s a retrospective on a couple of important moments in Anakin and Padme’s early marriage, specifically around how, since Anakin, as a Jedi trainee, doesn’t own things or have much ability to acquire them, which is an Issue when it comes to giving his new wife a wedding present…so he ‘gives’ her C-3PO, to be ‘a friend’ while he is, as he frequently is, absent, and there’s a sweet moment where Padme politely invites Threepio to join her staff, because on Naboo, droids as high-functioning as Threepio are considered beings, not property. Anakin also notes that technically, since his builder (Anakin himself) owns nothing, Threepio kind of owned himself even before this. Then later, she gives him R2-D2 as ‘a friend’ in return, at which point Anakin starts modifying him this way and that until Artoo eventually obtains at least as much cognitive function as Threepio, setting the stage for the bond the droids have throughout the series. All very nice…but then jump to the very end of the book, immediately after Padme dies and Bail Organa adopts Leia. Y’know. The moment when he casually orders that Threepio undergo a mind wipe to forget…pretty much everything. Who “the Maker” was, all about his years of service to Senator Amidala, where the Princess came from and the fact she has a brother, etc. Then cut forward about twenty years to the beginning of A New Hope, where Threepio fussily keeps scolding Artoo about how “Master Luke” is his owner now and he should therefore forget the mission from their previous owner. It never seems to occur to Threepio, after his years on Alderaan, that they could think for and own themselves, even though again, in the novelizations, Threepio has technically done so for longer than Artoo has; the only difference is that Artoo still remembers everything, whereas Threepio only remembers, at most, the past twenty years.

Clearly, droids did not enjoy the same legal privileges on Alderaan that they did on Novelization!Naboo…but why is that relevant? Threepio, recall, was said to have legal rights on Naboo as a member of Padme’s staff. At a stretch, since Anakin couldn’t technically own Artoo either, one could make an argument that Artoo was still legally Padme’s property and therefore automatically passed into the ownership of her daughter when Padme died*, since Anakin and Padme and Threepio seem to have been the only ones who realized at that time how sentient the astromech had become, but there was really no doubt about Threepio: if Stover’s writing in the official novelization is taken as on any level canonical, then Threepio, as a high-functioning droid, was an employee; certainly this is the case within the pages of the book in question, where he meets the same ends. Padme no more owned him than she owned Jar-Jar or the Handmaidens who acted as her body doubles or her other Senate aides...at least on Naboo and areas where its laws applied, like the embassy on Coruscant, I suppose. They were not in Naboo space at the time of Padme’s death, and apparently the idea that droids could be autonomous was culturally alien to Alderaanians…but we see in TCW that Bail had worked pretty closely with Padme for years. They were political allies, but also friends. They’d risked their lives together before - in the Committee of 2,000 conspiracy, in that episode of The Clone Wars where they investigated a murder together, and arguably, Padme had put her life in his hands without a second thought again on Empire Day when she made that “how liberty dies” remark in the midst of the rest of the Senate’s enthusiastic endorsement of Palpatine’s announcement. Padme also was shown to have a real Problem with the discovery that slavery still existed in the galaxy when she met Shmi and Anakin as a girl, and considering she later married an ex-slave who had…rather strong feelings about the subject, it’s hard to imagine that she didn’t get personally emotionally invested in the issue as well. Anti-slavery measures would have probably been part of her political platform, especially in that gap between Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones where there wasn’t a war that depended on slave soldiers to consider. It never, in all that time, came up with Bail? He never said, “It’s strange how you treat that protocol droid of yours - you act as though he were a person,” to which Padme could only reply that “by my planet’s laws, he is”? Padme never voiced any discomfort with the Alderaanian stance on high-functioning droids in all their years of working together? Why would her good friend not think twice about treating one of her staffers as his property before the poor woman’s corpse was even cold? Even if he disagreed, he ought to have at least had the thought “oh wow, I am disrespecting my friend’s memory here,” or even a hesitation about his legal right to give orders about Threepio’s memory, given that there would of necessity have to have been some interstellar agreement on whether Planet A’s laws about droids applied to droids from Planet A when they were on Planet B, especially if Planet B was neutral space like Coruscant, the place where Bail would have been most familiar with Threepio. I’m American and reasonably historically literate; American history was never my favorite branch of history, but I know all about the sort of trouble it causes when people don’t agree about whether laws from one state in a republic apply in another. See also: the American Civil War? And more recently, the issue of gay marriage, back when states determined that individually. Didn’t cause a war that time, but anyone who had the political awareness of a tree branch probably knew of the issue and, however dimly, probably something of why it was such an issue.

It’s now 9am, and yeah, yeah, I know, all this was necessary to protect the Chosen Twins because Threepio is a bit of an idiot, or it would have taken too much time/been too much at the tail end of a plot as dark as that of RotS to have a quick scene where Threepio agreed to become Bail’s property in order to stay with Leia, etc etc. But considering that Bail’s one of the good guys, it’s pretty messed up to realize how casually someone’s rights could just get hand waved away the moment they no longer had anyone politically powerful immediately on hand to defend them. It’s hard not to think…with his memory gone, Threepio doesn’t even know that he was supposed to have rights, and most humans cannot communicate fluently with Artoo. Bit disturbing to put oneself in that position, to wonder, as messy as the world’s getting…who’s the one person standing between us and having our rights almost as casually overwritten? Not quite as casually, I suppose, since mind wipes don’t exist for us (…yet…probably), but almost. Not something Lucas probably meant to put there, given that he didn’t write the official novelization and his apparent failure to think out the droid issue especially well**, but there’s where my brain’s going on this sneezy, sneezy morning.

* Note: this is totally ignoring the issue of whether this is moral and ethical or not. Also ignoring the issue of how that even stacks with the assiduous efforts to conceal that Padme’s child/children hadn’t died with her, in which case, being legally dead/never personified, it’s hard to consider them her legal heirs anyway.

** See also this video essay: https://youtu.be/WD2UrB7zepo?si=HcttHLpZFGnU5bNb

[bengiyo]

Only Boo! Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, we spent time with Kang to see what he's been up to in the last year. We learned that Kang moved, blocked Moo, and changed universities to create distance between them, continuing the GMMTV trend of making the poor boy rearrange their entire life for the benefit of the richer one. When Moo finally found him, the show essentially said that Kang was correct to do this, because Moo immediately lost all composure in trying to reunite them. After spiraling, Moo got kicked in the face and hospitalized (apparently based on something that happened to my boy Aungpao). Meanwhile, Moo continues to have Potae as his inexplicable confidant, who remains jealous of Payos and Jang BGP. Also, Shone has been hanging out with Kang and occasionally flirting with him, which is gross since he encouraged them to break up.

Oh, right. Time to find out if this scene is real.

Yep, it wasn't real!

Ep 12: ONLY BOO

Shone... This is gross.

I struggle with the constant dissonance of this show not saying gay even as it's constantly demanding its protagonist accept reality.

Umm...why is Moo apologizing??

I kinda wish this has been a story about Potae and Payos struggling with an asymmetric relationship and navigating that space as idols instead. Having Potae come around in the last episode like this is not satisfying.

I'm trying to be with Moo about the blank letters, but it's like he's never really understood the social and financial expectations of being an idol at all. This why is not rhetorical for why Kang can't go to him.

Why is Kang in Hong Kong in a mascot?? Moo is gonna recognize him.

Again, Kang seems to be the only one aware of consequences.

Wow, do they really think this one scene fixes everything wrong with Potae's relationship with his parents and how they've made him feel like he's not worthy?

Is Jang now okay with his band members dating? Why??

I'm glad these two reunited, but do we really think one more conversation with his label is gonna change anything? Does Moo think he has that level of clout after a year of being in the industry?

Keen is fun to watch flirt. This has been the most engaged with it we've seen out of Sea in a while.

Why would they just agree to end the rule after all this drama? What has changed?

There is almost something here about these boys going back to their high school but knowing what they are to each other now.

It is admittedly nice to see some of the teachers again. That part was solid.

What in the pair the spares is this???

FORCEBOOK JUMP SCARE

At least they're implying Kang dealt with some of his shyness around intimacy.

Final Verdict: 5, I Liked The High School Portion Mostly, and I Liked Keen. This show was truly thematically bankrupt in a way that is actually offensive to me, and part of a trend with GMMTV of wanting only implied queerness in their shows about boys kissing each other. It is absolutely ridiculous to set up a show where a queer kid has been so loved and sheltered that he doesn't really conceive of the structures of homophobia to fall in love with a boy who seems to understand them, and then not have this be about how Moo either succumbs to this expectations or fully rejects them. It's frustrating that he's not allowed to make many choices here because it would pop the bubble around him. I'm also just so frustrated with the inclusion of Book and Louis in this show because they added so little, and I actually found Shone to be gross.

They also fully betrayed Payos as a character. He and Moo should have been gay besties and that should have been the beginning of Moo coming to understand that other queers were not afforded the luxury he has. I will not forgive this show for ruining the relationship between Moo and Payos by having Moo exclude him from his closet in favor of Potae.

On a positive note, I will say I enjoyed the character work and themes around the teachers when they were in school, and I thought Keen was rather charming in this show. I'd like to see him again.

[myechoecho]

Over all, that was a pretty satisfying part 2 of The Glory.

I love, LOVE how the core of Dong Eun’s revenge was just letting everyone destroy themselves. She may have found out details, planned and pushed people in certain directions but ultimately they are the ones who lead to their own ruin. An incomplete list:

Myeong O trying to blackmail them all. Yeon Jin turning on Sa Ra with the tax evasion story to lessen the heat on her and then Sa Ra turning on Yeon Jin with the bullying video. Sa Ra mocking Hye Jeong saying she was the stupid one and they just would have bullied her instead (which let’s be real, they were already doing). Hye Jeong showing the video of a high Sa Ra and Myeong O taking advantage of her. Sa Ra stabbing Hye Jeong with a PENCIL. Hye Joeng easily jumping into Jun Jae’s bed. Jun Jae easily casting her aside. Hye Jeong blinding him.

This doesn’t even take into account the detective, his thugs and Yeon Jin’s mom or the shaman.

Yeon Jin is actually quite intelligent. For the most part, she was able to connect the dots to what Dong Eun was trying to do. Problem is was never really able to do anything about it. Yeon Jin was a bully propped up by others. She’s not able to survive without the support of others. From the scene in prison where she gives the weather, I get the sense that she is the one who is bullied now. Unless she’s doing that by choice which means she’s really lost it.

I wasn’t expecting the Gyeong Ran to be the on who actually did the final blow to Myeong O. I like that Dong Eun protected her and insists it was Yeon Jin who did it. Though honestly there was a high chance he would have died anyway and certainly Yeon Jin was not going to let him live. Considering he sexually assaulted Gyeong Ran, along with the school bullying, I can’t say I blame her when she hit him. She was terrified of him. While Dong Eun didn’t really comfort her, I do like that she encouraged her to break free of the “gym”

I do enjoy the fact that Yeon Jin doesn’t know about Gyeong Ran and now that Dong Eun has implied she doesn’t know something it’s gonna drive her nuts

I wasn’t sure what to expect in part 2 with Do Young, however I am pleased that his focus was always on protecting his child (and himself). Unlike Yeon Jin, who near the end didn’t even notice that Ye Sol was gone. I think he knew he was going to have to cut Yeon Jin out of his life, but he gave her a chance.

I was a little surprised that Do Young was the one to ultimately end Jae Jun, but again, I think it was to protect Ye Sol. Jae Jun was dangerous to Ye Sol. He went to Do Young’s mom, revealed the paternity and asked her to remove her from the family tree so he could then get custody. He went to her soccer practice and says that he’s her dad (though she turned out not to be there). Even to the end he’s angry and belligerent to his captor. He’s a danger to Ye Sol, therefore he needs to be taken care of. I’m on the fence if Dong Eun knows or not.

I am so happy that Hyeon Nam got to be free of her husband. Mostly without getting her hands dirty. She and Dong Eun may have opened a door but he walked straight through. And Yeon Jin’s mom made her choice as well

Speaking of, I am not too sure what evidence Dong Eun had to prove that did she it on purpose but I guess that’s not important. I do love how Yeon Jin’s mom chose to save her own skin (thought it didn’t work) and does not acknowledge Yeon Jin in prison.

I was sad when Hyeon Nam and Dong Eun looked like they were going their separate ways but I adore how happy she was when Dong Eun reached out to her again.

By FAR the weakest aspect of the show was Dong Eun and Yeo Jeong as a “couple”. I just don’t see it. I don’t think they had any romantic chemistry. RIP Dong Eun and Do Young.

Pacing of the last episode felt weird. Though I do like how they are working on Yeo Jeong’s revenge they kinda spent a lot of time on the set up when I we won’t see the pay off.

I do like Dong Eun is doing what she always wanted - studying to be an architect.

Oh, I also love how even though Yeo Jeong offered to heal/treat her scars, Dong Eun has chosen to keep them and starts to cover some of them in tattoos. Specifically, a tattoo of flowers to show how she is now in bloom.

[prodigaldaughteralice]

Man, you know what hit me while watching For the Future, and I didn’t say anything about it at the time but it’s been circulating in my head since then?

Amity saying to Boscha “This is a bit much, even for you!”, in comparison to her father a few episodes back saying “this is too much— even for you.” The similarity in structure, the difference in delivery, you know.

And I keep thinking about the theory that Alador and Odalia were pushed to marry by their parents, and about how Amity was pushed to be friends with Boscha, and imagining a bad future where Luz didn’t show up and they ended up in a similar position.

It’s not going to be that bad, right? Sure, Amity never really *liked* Boscha, but you don’t have to like someone to be their friend, you just have to be around them, do things with them, listen when they talk. Having a wife will be like that, right? She’ll just… do the things she’s supposed to do, and live alongside her. It’ll be fine.

The wedding is just another formal event her parents throw, with the complication of Boscha’s parents being part of it too, and constantly trying to one-up hers. In her final act of rebellion, Amity sends Willow an invitation. She doesn’t come. Amity closes a door.

Odalia lightens up on urging Amity to join the Emperor’s Coven when she realizes that as the only one of their kids who follows in Alador’s footsteps magic-wise, it’d be better for her to train to take over the factory someday. She can’t say she exactly enjoys working under her father, since he only ever talks about work, and not even with the spark of interest in his eyes she remembers him having when she was little. Her mother spends most of her time sniping at her mothers-in-law and asking when grandkids are coming, though, and the twins are gadding about through high society and making fun of her whenever they can, so he’s kind of the family member she’s closest to by default.

Things don’t really go well. Boscha thinks the way their mothers constantly fight is hilarious, and she definitely enjoys the status that comes along with the Blight name, but she definitely doesn’t love the way her new in-laws expect her to wind potions skills into the family business or else just stay out of the way. She wants to win trophies, not be one. She’s also not stupid, and she knows Amity doesn’t love her— knew since long before the wedding, but she hoped that would change over time, and as it continues not to she’s building up an intense resentment. They were meant for each other, why can’t Amity see it? She’s being the queen of Bonesborough society, they’re on top together just like it was in high school only better, but Amity still doesn’t love her, and it’s not fair.

Some years on, they have a daughter. She’s the absolute light of Amity’s life, but by the time she’s toddling Boscha is already starting to take out some of her resentment on her. She pushes her too hard, she makes fun of the way she garbles words. The baby’s  just being a baby, and Amity tries to get Boscha to lighten up, but Boscha says she’s just having fun and being a mom, which Amity isn’t because she’s working all day, and she doesn’t have a comeback for that.  

Amity’s trying to calm Boscha down, taking her to matches when she has a rare night off and they can get a sitter, but it just prickles at her more— she wants to be on the field, not watching; she wants to be on a real date with her wife, not an awkward attempt at appeasement.

It’s all eating away at Amity. She looks into her daughter’s three beautiful gold eyes and she’s terrified her little girl will feel like this, someday.

She’s sleepwalking through her days, she feels like one of her mother’s ghosts. She’s working, because it’s the only thing she really understands anymore. She’s elbow-deep in the beta design for the 3.6, and she nearly jumps out of her skin when her father puts a hand on her shoulder.

He has a bottle of hard apple blood. They go sit on the roof, and they talk.

She can’t say she sees a way through to happiness, but at least she’s not alone. That’s something, isn’t it?

[emma-frxst]

The Implicit Demand for Proof (15. End)

Series masterlist

Pairing: Detective David Loki x reader

Summary: you, a forensic psychologist, get called in on a high priority child abduction case in Conyers, PA. What happens when you catch feelings for the mysterious detective Loki?

Warnings: spoilers for the movie, movie level violence, slight change of events, language.

Sad this series has come to an end but it’s about damn time lol! I enjoyed it and I hope y’all did too! It’s the end..But fret not dear friends!! If you love our fave detective and forensic psychologist!Reader, I’m going to be writing a continuation of this series! My new fic Choking on Circumstances will be out soon! Check my masterlist for more deets! (Saying deets like I’m in the mid 2000s) if you want more Loki content feel free to send me a request and check my masterlist!

Reblogs and comments help me the most! Let me know your thoughts, even if it’s only a keysmash. Let me know if you want or off the tag list. Thanks for reading, commenting, and supporting me!

Tags: loki only tags: @spideyrights @sataninsatin @go-commander-kim @severuined @romancries @eclecticfashionbookszipper @fagen @sizzlingcloudmentality @mottergirl99 @ @1ivinqdeadqir1main @new-romanticz1989 @kittycat-kisses @in2meijasworld 2@diegos-sad-chick @sharp-cheekbones-locked @ochoaslvr @captgrim @buck-this-nasty @shycollectionwolfstuff @in2meijasworld

(Also tagging some others just this once who’ve commented/ liked/ reblogged this series to let you know it’s complete for real this time! Let me know if you want to still be tagged for Loki stuff!)

-

After checking for Keller Dover everywhere- his house, the liquor stores, the church the family attended, and the creepy small town survival gear store- he was no where to be found. You even showed people his picture and asked if they’d seen him, but no luck.

Where in the hell else could he have been??

Ugh

Poor Alex Jones..Can’t believe Keller would do that to him- Wait.

A sick feeling came over you, the kind of feeling you got when looking a murderer in the eyes, or when you get a confession in the interrogation room from someone you know is guilty. That feeling.

Maybe Dover was having a PTSD episode, a psychotic break, or worse, a murderous rampage- His missing daughter driving him to the brink of insanity. He always blamed Alex for the girl’s disappearance, but now that he was done with Alex, maybe he got it in his mind to go after Holly Jones next.

Now knowing what Keller was capable of, you jumped in the car and drive out to the Jones’ residence. You didn’t want Holly to end up like her son.

You called Loki, seeing if he would meet you at the Jones’s place. Better to have a partner in these types of situations.

It rang and rang until it went to voicemail.

Weird.

He usually picked up on the first couple of rings.

That’s okay though. You’d just go by yourself, proceeding with extra caution.

You never thought more of Keller Dover than a concerned parent, in light of recent events, maybe Loki’s obsession with the man wasn’t completely unfounded.

As you headed to the Jones residence, that sick feeling only grew. Nagging at you from the inside.

You tired to call Loki again.

No answer.

Your next step was to call O’Malley, maybe he knew why Loki wasn’t answering.

“O’Malley.” He answered quickly.

“Have you heard from Loki recently?”

“I sent him to notify Holly Jones about Alex about, oh-“ he paused. “A little bit ago.”

Your stomach dropped, your mind automatically assumed the worst. Not that David couldn’t handle himself, but that you tended to worry.

“Why, is everything alright?” He asked,

“I can’t reach Loki, phones going to voicemail. I’ve been searching for Keller Dover, I thought Dover might’ve gone for Holly or something. I’m gonna go over there and check.”

“Let me know if I need to send a unit over.”

“Thanks captain.”

You decided to hightail it to the Jones’ residence. Safely of course, the unfamiliar Pennsylvania roads combined with the darkness and the sleet made driving difficult.

As you were driving, your mind was on Loki. Of course you were thinking about Anna, but in the back of your mind was the earlier unfinished conversation between you and Loki. All the ‘what if’ scenarios swirled around in your brain. What did he want to talk to you about? It was killing you. You thought there was a chance Loki liked you, but he was hard to read. At this point there’s no denying your crush on the man. You didn’t know how much longer you’d be in Conyers, maybe you should rack up the courage to make a move.

The tiniest bit of flashing blue light caught your attention from down the road.

The lights looked like they were heading towards you.

Oh

They were.

They were police lights.

But they weren’t big lights that sat on top like a squad car, no. They were the kind like on a detective’s car.

The car was going fast; recklessly so.

Erratic and urgent.

Before you could get a good look at it, the car zoomed past you, barely giving you time to think.

That wasn’t Loki’s car, was it?

The little bit of it you saw, it did look like it. The pitch black of the Pennsylvania back country made it particularly difficult to see.

You pulled out your phone to call him again.

When it went straight to voicemail, you knew you couldn’t ignore your gut feeling any longer.

Fuck it.

You whipped the car around to follow the other car. It was so far ahead you couldn’t catch up, the faint blue lights your only guide.

Your pulse pounded in your ears as you followed who you were now sure was Loki.

Where are you going in such a hurry, Loki? And why? Why won’t you call me back?

You went ahead and called O’Malley and had him send a unit out to the Jones’ residence. But that was really all you could do, besides hope and pray everything was alright.

-

Loki barged into the ER with a limp Anna Dover in his arms.

His desperate cries for help rang throughout the hospital, demanding the attention of the doctors and pulling the heartstrings of all who were near.

Once she was safely in the hands of the doctors and his adrenaline wore off, he felt white hot heat radiating from his head.

His was vision blurry from the blood in his eyes, or maybe it was from the pain.

The pain.

The fucking pain.

It was a burning, stinging pain that hit him like a ton of bricks.

There was a sharp ringing that invaded his eardrums and he suddenly felt lightheaded, but he needed to stay awake..he needed to move his car from the ER entrance and needed to tell the captain what happened and needed to make sure Anna was okay, and needed (y/n) to..(y/n).. (y/n).

The last thing he remembered was mumbling something to the nurse before his vision faded to black.

-

You shifted in your seat and the old chair creaked under your weight. The nurse had offered to bring in a extra bed for you, but you declined, not wanting to take away form someone who really needed it.

But your ass going numb convinced you that you should’ve at least asked for a better chair.

Loki had been moved out of the ER and into a room for observation.

He laid there all bandaged up, sleeping..well he was unconscious, but saying he was sleeping made you feel better.

Loki wasn’t one of those people who looked peaceful when he slept, his permanent scowl still ingrained on his face.

That beautiful, pouty scowl.

Staring at Loki, you felt a tinge of guilt in your bones. You should’ve figured out it was Holly Jones all along, maybe you could’ve been there with Loki and things would’ve turned out differently.

The forensics team was able to speculate what happened based on the crime scene and, upon further digging, found evidence of dozens of child abductions.

Loki could’ve died. If the bullet went just a few inches over, it would’ve been a whole different story.

You quickly shook the thought form your head, he was here and he was okay. Joy and Anna were alive. Although it was almost a happy ending, it definitely wasn’t the ending to this case you expected.

-

You pulled the car to a screeching halt outside the ER entrance, Loki’s car still sitting outside. Lights on and doors open.

Shit shit shit

You barged in the doors, making a beeline for the front desk, but the commotion of doctors working on a dark haired man caught your eye.

Your stomach dropped.

Loki

He wasn’t conscious.

There was so much blood all over his face.

You closed the distance between you and them in two seconds flat.

“Is he okay?! Whats going on?!” You pleaded with the doctor to let you know something.

“A gunshot wound to the head, just passed out on us.”

A gunshot wound. To the head.

“Is he going to be okay?!” You asked, panicked.

“It only grazed him. We will keep you updated. Now, Ma’am step back please, let us work.”

You stepped back from the medical staff surrounding the detective, giving them their space.

“Please be ok Loki, please” you whispered.

You felt like the air had been knocked out of you. He can’t die, not like this.

You stood there in a daze, watching the doctor and nurses buzz around Loki. You lifted a trembling hand to brush the hair from your face and noticed how clammy your hands were. Suddenly, you were aware of a tightness in your chest and tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

A panic attack.

You tried to force your feet to carry you outside, the cold air would be good to dissolve your panic, but they felt like they were glued to the floor.

When your patients were in crisis you reminded them to do things that were in their control.

Maybe you should take your own advice.

Forcing your brain back into work mode, You turned to go move the cars from the ER entrance and take care of things, but you stopped dead in your tracks noticing the little girl two beds down from Loki.

Anna.

.

“Are you sure about the bed?” The nurse asked as she came in to check on the detective.

“Yeah I’m sure, thank you though.”

“If you change your mind let me know.”

“Thanks.” You replied, thankful for her kindness and her gentleness with David.

She’s nice.

“So how long have you all been together?” She asked, her innocent effort to make small talk turning awkward quickly.

“Oh we’re not…uh..” you stuttered, feeling your cheeks flush

“Oh I’m sorry, I just thought since he asked for you..that..well you know...” She said, giving you a small smile.

“He asked for me?”

“Yeah. Last thing he said before he passed out.”

You couldn’t help the grin that plastered itself onto your face and those pesky butterflies that formed in your gut.

-

2:14 AM.

David stirred from his slumber, a groan escaping his lips. He cracked an eye open, the harsh hospital lights making him cringe.

Hey! He was alive!

He still had ten working fingers and toes. Arms and legs still worked. He was alive and intact, thankful he was in one piece. It was a real miracle he avoided a car crash on the way here.

His fingers brushed over bandages on his injury. In the back of his mind, David knew he’d end up with a massive headache, but every beat of his heart sending pain to his wound was a little much for him. He looked around for the call nurse button. His heart skipped a beat when he looked to his left.

“(Y/n)” he whispered. There she was asleep in the hospital chair. That familiar fuzzy feeling flooded his chest at full force. What was she doing here? How did she know he was here?

He chuckled slightly at the sight of her. How she was able to sleep in such a cramped position, he didn’t know, and how she was able to look so adorable doing so was also a mystery.

(Y/n) was only a moment’s distraction before the throbbing pain returned to his head, he smashed the call nurse button, the commotion awaking (y/n).

Startled, she shot straight up out of the chair. In the few seconds it took her to recognize that it was indeed Loki who pushed the call button and not that he was dying or some other medical emergency, her eyes grew wide and her smile widened.

“You’re awake!” You exclaimed.

“(Y/n), it was Holly!” Loki said, trying to sit up, a groan escaping his lips as he did so. “Where’s Anna? Did she make it? You gotta get the CSU out to the Jones’ right now- she shot me-“

“Loki everything’s okay!” You assured him as you scurried to his bedside, gently grabbing his shoulders and making him lay back down.

Classic Loki, mind always on the case even when he’s laying in the hospital.

“Anna made it, she’s gonna recover. I already took care of everything.” You said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You did? How did you-“

“You need to rest.” You interrupted him, smoothing out his blanket, your fingers brushed his- only for a moment.

In that moment, your eyes locked and only then did David truly take a deep breath to calm down.

“How did you know?” He asked.

“I didn’t” you explained. “I was searching for Dover and was worried he’d gone to Holly to do what he did to Alex. I passed you on the way and followed your car back here. The scene has been processed and everything. We can get your statement in the morning, Loki.”

David breathed out a heavy sigh of relief

“Thanks, (l/n) You’re the best.”

“Thanks.” You said softly, unable to hide your blushing at Loki’s compliment.

“Just tell me what happened.”

Before the two of you could exchange any more words, the nurse came scurrying in to the room.

She upped his morphine dosage and cleaned his bandage, then made sure the two of you comfortable. Once again you praised the heavens for her kindness.

Once she left, David went into detail about what happened.

You listened intently, hanging on to his every word.

When he finished, you dropped the eye contact you and David were holding.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve figured out that it was Holly Jones sooner, maybe you wouldn’t gotten hurt and-“

“Hey-hey. it’s not your fault.” he said gently, reaching out to take your hand.

Maybe it was the morphine or the near death experience, but either way David was feeling bold.

Your heart could’ve stopped in that moment, was now a good time to confess your feelings? Should you?

You opted to offer him a small smile instead, you figured he’d been through enough tonight.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” You told him.

David caressed the back of your knuckles with his thumb sending pleasant chills through you.

“Me too.” He replied.

“So do you need anything? Anything I can do?” You offered.

“I keep a emergency bag in my desk-“

“Got it!” You enthusiastically hopped up, ready to help in any way you could, but David didn’t let go of your hand.

“Wait! Don’t leave. Please.” You stopped in your tracks, glad he wanted you to stay.

“Let O’Malley bring my bag. Please stay.” David begged, those sad blue eyes got you, but he didn’t have to beg. You’d do anything he asked of you.

You sat back down on the edge of the bed.

“Thank you.” He said, his eyes growing heavy.

“Get some rest ok? I’ll be right here.” You said, smoothing his blanket out once again. When you got up to sit back in the chair, you could feel David’s eyes on you.

“What?” You inquired.

“Nothin’.” He murmured, only flashing you a small smile.

You flicked the overhead light off so you could both rest.

You’d definitely tell him how you felt in the morning.

-

David’s eyes lingered on (y/n) as she got up to turn off the light. He should’ve told her how he felt right then.

“What?” She questioned, catching him staring.

David hesitated.

Just tell her, David. Come on.

“Nothin’.” He responded with a tired voice and heavy eyes. He dropped the conversation, opting to let her rest. They’d been through enough tonight. They’d talk in the morning.

-

You made a trip to the cafeteria for breakfast while David showered and changed clothes.

“Hey, hey, look at you, all clean and such.” You praised Loki, coming into the room with coffee and bagels.

David chuckled at your remarks.

“Thanks. Hey, look at this-“

You sat on the bed next to David, leaning in to see the paper.

Barry Milland AKA Alex Jones reunited with family after 26 years

“Poor Barry.” You mumbled.

Lokis eyes stayed glued to the paper, but yours wandered up to his wound.

He looked a lot better this morning and was doing much better.

“It’s rude to stare you know.” Loki teased, cracking a sly smile.

“Yeah, well, you look like shit.” You teased back, a cheesy grin plastered itself across your face.

You tried to hold in your amusement as Loki gave you a funny look, but couldn’t help it as giggles escaped your lips.

Then, Loki started laughing too.

It was a good laugh. A real one.

After laughing too long at your own joke, you looked over at David, only to find him already looking at you.

Loki’s expression was soft, his usual scowl nowhere to be found.

“What?” You questioned.

Loki, seemingly mesmerized by you, was at a loss for words. His brain? Total mush.

You noticed his eyes moving between your eyes and lips, searching for a sign.

You leaned in, closing the gap between you and the detective- Loki’s sign that yes you wanted this. You wanted this since the moment you laid eyes on him. Finally.

Your lips connected oh so gently but in a way that sent sparks down your spine. The kiss was soft and-

“Detective Loki? Agent (l/n)?”

The two of you pulled apart quickly

There was Grace, Anna, Joy and Nancy all standing at the door.

Loki cleared his throat and you both tired to act like she didn’t interrupt.

“I hope we’re not intruding.”

Loki shook his head and mumbled “no” even though they obviously were. But you knew it’s be good for him to see the girls.

It particularly warmed your heart hearing her refer to Loki as a hero.

They continued talked for a minute, well, Grace Keller did, Loki was a man of few words. You had the thought to weigh in, but you couldn’t concentrate, those damn butterflies in your stomach were doing somersaults.

“Thank you two, for everything.”

Grace said and turned to leave, but stopped at the door, breaking down in tears. She tried convincing you and Loki Keller was a good man, but you and Loki exchanged knowing looks.

Not prepared to face the awkwardness of the situation, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at the detective after she left.

Lucky for you, Loki suddenly grabbed your chin, tilting your head towards him and his lips captured yours in a hungry and needy kiss.

A stark contrast to your kiss a minute prior, fire burned through your chest as your lips moved in sync with David’s.

Loki moved his hand to cup your cheek and you absolutely melted into his touch.

You broke apart from David, breathless and with a smile on your face.

“Sorry I didn’t do that sooner.” David said, his thumb stroking your cheekbone,

“Yeah me too.” You replied, still high from the bliss of your first kiss with the handsome detective.

“Look, (l/n), I uh-“

“Hey..Call me (f/n)” you interrupted, sad that David removed his hand from your cheek.

“Okay, (f/n),” he said. “I’m uh not too good with feelings and shit, but I uh, I really like you.”

“I like you too.” You gushed.

Davids eyes lit up, almost like a kid on Christmas.

“You do?” He questioned.

“Yes David, I do.” You gave him a reassuring smile. “And that kiss told me all I needed to know.”

David blushed.

David Loki blushing, you didn’t think such a thing could happen.

“Glad you enjoyed it.” He said, a smug smile replacing his blushing cheeks.

Your turn to blush.

“How do you uh, feel about long distance? I mean I’ve never done it before- but I’d be down to..you know.

“Me neither, but I think we make a pretty good team, so I think we can make it work.”

Yes!! He wanted to make this work. Now the butterflies in your belly weren’t just doing somersaults, it was more like the butterfly Olympics down there.

“Yeah?” He questioned, giddy like a child.

“Yeah.” You assured him, giving his arm a squeeze.

The day shift nurse came in to finally discharge David. She sent him home with a dozen care info papers and aftercare instructions, none of which David was likely to read or follow through with.

“Let’s get you home.” You said. “At least for a bit.” You knew Loki would not stop searching for Keller Dover. He was determined, you’d give him that. You also weren’t gonna let Loki drive home by himself after being shot in the head, even though he insisted he was fine.

“Yeah. Home.” He agreed.

David’s thoughts began to race while you began to gather your things.

Loki was hopeful, for the first time in a long time. He had a feeling that, eventually, home would be wherever (y/n) was.

-

END.

[sugarcoatednightshade]

finally got around to watching The Unsleeping City and I'm so obsessed with Pete. immaculate vibes. perfect character.

Anyway I'm halfway through episode 8 and I can't stop thinking about the previous episode, We Need to Talk About Pete. Especially that scene where Robert Moses shows him that video of Kingston admitting that he'd kill him if necessary, and Pete assumes that it's just taken out of context. Which is funny and sorrowful because this is a rare instance where context makes his statement 1000x worse.

And I had to pause Subway Skirmish and write this quickie just exploring what would happen if Pete heard the whole conversation, terrible context included. Its mostly work for word until the end, the only difference being that Ricky agrees more with Esther and basically proposes an intervention, which gets to Pete in a whole other way.

I'm predicting that Pete and the gang make up almost immediately. Either at the end of this episode or the next one. Which is really sweet and affirming, but I love the idea of pvp and Pete actively fighting the rest of the group, maybe embracing being the voice of nightmares as well as dreams, isolating himself with nightmares, etc.

Anyway, I cant finish the episode I'm on until I post this. mom said. Enjoy 1.5k I literally wrote instead of sleeping. This is a first draft, unedited, probably full of needless angst and grammatical errors, I wrote it in like an hour and refuse to read it again. Enjoy.

Robert held the phone out to Pete. Its screen showed a video cued up to play.

“Listen, kid, I’m not trying to force you into anything here. I just want you to have all the information, know who you’re really working with.”

“I know who I’m working with,” Pete lied. But he was looking down at the screen which showed his new – friends? Associates? Comrades in arms? – sitting down at a table. The angle was high and the quality kind of shit, like it was taken from old security footage, but Pete could clearly make out Kingston’s expression, frozen in something like rage. It was a weird expression on him, one Pete hadn’t seen in all the time he’d known the man.

“Just look,” Robert said. “Come to your own conclusions.”

Pete takes the phone away from Robert, hating himself for it. But, goddamn it, despite it all, he was still fucking human. Even knowing Robert’s game – he could practically smell the shit he was talking – he couldn’t pass up on free information. If only so that he could know what Robert knew, so he couldn’t use it as extortion later.

Yeah, Pete thought, real convincing.

He pressed play. The image on screen jumped, showing a much calmer and collected Kingston. It was reassuring for all of one second, because when the recorded Kingston opened his mouth, the words he said sent Pete’s stomach rocketing to the floor.

“I mean, here’s the truth Alejandro if things get out of hand, we put him down. Straight up.”

He barely hears Kugrash’s and Sofia’s protests, ignores the revelations that Kugrash has human kids and a whole human life he abandoned, stuck trying to process what he just heard.

Kingston is speaking again, saying that ten out ten times he’d choose the city over Pete and that’s fine, really, that’s fine. Pete’s not selfish enough to thing that he matters more than the entire population of New York City. And Kingston is supposed to be the voice of the city or something. It’s basically his job. Pete should be used to people in his life choosing their careers over him.

Sofia asks a question that’s been bothering him for a while, and Alejandro answers confuses him at first – he talks about someone named Jackson and a Concrete Order and some other things Pete doesn’t really understand until…

“It is not fair to the people who have come to this city or have been born here and lived here their entire lives, that their wellbeing, safety, and in fact, even their life or death should be thrown into chaos because of what amounts to often a joke.”

Pete thinks back to the bug monsters that had attacked Astoria. Despite all the destruction and chaos and death, at no point had he sensed any real malice coming from them. They had been excited and grateful and fully unaware of why what they were doing was wrong. To call them evil implied that they knew right from wrong and actively chose it, but they were just doing what they did just because.

Alejandro had become more animated as he spoke, gesturing wildly with his hands, but now he lowered his voice enough that Pete had to raise the volume and lean in to hear it. “Peter actively courts the darkness more than the light.” Alejandro’s back was turned to the camera, but Pete could see the way his shoulders hunched forward, as if he were sharing some great secret or revelation.

Suddenly his hands feel clammy with sweat. He wants to pause the video but can’t, can’t let Robert know that any of its getting to him, so instead he watches as a group of people talk about him like he’s something dangerous, talk about locking him up – you guys have to tell me if you’re cops, right? – and taking his drugs and putting him down like he’s infected. Like he’s a rabid dog that can’t be trusted not to bite.

And, looking around, Pete hates to admit that they’re right. What defense does he have, sitting in a vampiric nightclub filled with dead-eyed humans selling their bodies for a little cash? What defense does he have when he’s so used to that stare that it barely registers? How many times has he sold drugs to people with that same look in their eyes, desperate and empty?

Pete knows what kind of person he is, what kind of people he runs with. And like Robert had pointed out, he’s not exactly subtle. Pete knows he’s dirt. Robert called him a businessman. Kugrash seems to think he’s just some troubled kid who needs a little guidance. Kingston and Alejandro think he’s a ticking bomb.

But Pete knows what he is. He’s a homeless drug dealer who sells to monsters and children, whose only friends are nightmares and people who want him dead. Fuck them, he thinks, who fucking needs them.

Some girl – Esther, he thinks, but it’s hard to remember when her back is to the screen – voices her support of Kingston.

Ricky is facing the camera, so Pete can see his face when he agrees with her. The grainy footage blurs his features, but he still looks sad when he says, “Obviously, Pete needs help. He’s not in a good state physically, financially, or mentally. He a danger to the city, sure, but he’s just as much a danger to himself. I’m not saying we lock him up, but what if we just supervised him. Helped him get clean and sober, and then maybe that would help him calm down a little, give him a little more control over what he’s doing.”

Hearing Ricky – perfect fucking Mr. March with his washboard abs and crest-white smile – talk about staging an intervention is almost more painful than watching Kingston plan murder.

How fucking dare they. What, they know him for one fucking week and decide it’s their business what he does with his life. They’re total strangers, who cares if they think he’s dangerous. Of course he’s dangerous; it’s New York fucking City, everyone here’s dangerous. The people right now discussing his murder probably more dangerous than he is. But them coming after his livelihood? His medicine? Sure, he could probably live without the coke and shit, but what happens when they come for his anti-psychotics? His Zoloft? His Testosterone?

Would they decide that’s unnecessary too, decide to take that away from him for his own safety?

Sofia, previously his strongest defender, looks to be agreeing with Ricky. Only Kugrash is pushing back, talking about self-medication and withdrawal. But Kingston’s talking over him and then the video cuts, ended, back to the paused scene showcasing Kingston mid-yell.

A voice from the corner of his mind he’s beginning to associate with his magic speaks. They know nothing of your struggles… they do not know your pain as we do… they would have you imprisoned or worse, without trial or jury… we can help you escape…

A shadow appears in front of him, and Pete nearly jumps out of his skin. But its only Robert asking for his phone back. Pete hands it over without a word.

“I hope you have considered what you have seen.” He says.

“I might need some time to think it over,” Pete says, which is true. “I know the area, I might head across the street a get a drink.”

Robert frowns. “Why go to another bar and pay when you can get drinks here for free?”

His tone immediately sets Pete on edge. Between his dad, Alejandro, and now Kingston and Ricky, he’s so goddamn tired of men telling him what to do. And Pete’s not some fresh teenager new to the scene; he’s not stupid enough to accept free drinks from a suit.

“No, actually, I think I’d really rather leave.” He says, moving to the exit. Robert lets him leave.

On his way out, Pete catches sight of his reflection in a mirror. It covers a wall of the club floor to ceiling. What he sees reminds him of that one vampire movie, Van Helsing. Most people in the club vanish in the mirror. It’s just him and Robert and the other humans reflected. Robert excluded, Pete thinks that he fits right in with this crowd. It’s his first time seeing his own reflection in days; bloodshot sunken eyes and unwashed hair, his skin visibly damp with sweat.  He looks like any other homeless junkie. How could anyone think he’s dangerous? How could anyone think he’s an important player in this game?

The mirror people stare back without seeing. The voice of magic whispers… but you are important… you are important to us…

Pete turns to keep walking, makes his way out onto the street now bustling with city life. He was stupid to think this new group of friends wouldn’t fall apart or turn on him. They were too good to be true anyway. How could he have forgotten that he belonged here in the gutter with the rest of his people. Homeless junkies and petty thieves.

He wouldn’t forget again.

[dadscarathon]

Day One: Destroy all Neighbors

What a fun way to start Spooptober! Destroy All Neighbors combines some of the fun practical effects you would expect in an Evil Dead movie (the OG, not the new stuff), the goofiness of your Little Shop of Horrors and a dash of Airheads for self-deprecating references to music and the industry.

I enjoyed it! A lot of the practical effects were goopy and gross, just as you would expect. There was a lot of unexpected star power in the form of Jon Daly, Thomas Lennon and a Kumail Nanjiani cameo that could have come straight out of a Dan Harmon podcast episode.

I've been thinking about a rating system for my watches. Let's see if something like this will work:

Scary - did it frighten me at any point? Was there a jump scare that actual got me? This is the baseline, more startling than horrifying, but a lot of horror movies stoop down here, and some pepper it in like an appropriate spice. High marks for well executed, low for overuse or lame attempts.

Gross - was it nasty? Was something on the screen so gnarly that it made me wince or look away? Practical effects always seem to do this better than generated ones, but even digital effects can get disgusting.

Disturbing - The real gluten of fear. Does a noise I hear on the way to the bathroom remind me that things in the shadows are waiting for me? Do I suddenly find myself wondering if my own clone would mind if I murdered myself, or what would happen to my pets if the monster visited the house? A more ephemeral, but susbtantive fear than inspired by Scary.

Funny - I know, what's this doing in a rating about horror movies? If you didn't laugh a single time during Alien, maybe we wouldn't be friends - and that movie is an arguable horror masterpiece. A lot of modern horror, and especially indie horror lean into humor as a release valve to make sure that emotional balloon is nice and taut for the next fear poke.

Thoughtful - A lot of horror approaches the philosophical side of the genre and then stops before reaching any real revelation or submersion. A few movies go all the way in, not just in the effort to instill fear but a real exploration of human experience.

Ok, maybe that's more effort than is required, but I like categories.

Here's the score for Destroy All Neighbors:

Scary: 1 out of 3. DAN isn't trying to be frightening in this way, and that's fine.

Gross: 2 out of 3. Lots of squelchy practical effects. I'm not entirely certain I've seen a movie before with a corpse playing the drums with its intestines. That said, I didn't feel the need to turn away that I can think of. I did wince quite a bit at some of the effects and they were humorously and thoughtfully played out.

Disturbing: 1 out of 3. I was most disturbed on Will's behalf, as the audience can see that he's going to end up murdering most of the people he comes into contact with - a sort of second hand manslaughterer embarrassment.

Funny: 2 out of 3. There was some great dialog and bits played out. This is where the movie was aiming most of its energy and it works pretty well. I don't think it was a laugh a minute.

Thoughtful: 2 out of 3. The allegory in the movie, a message about using the time you have to create in a passionate way was there, not heavy handed, and not merely a prop for the plot.

Total score: 8 out of 15.

If you like practical effects, progressive rock (though this theme isn't hit that hard in the movie) or just a goofy good watch for your Spootober give it a shot.

[rocketboots564]

Teen Wolf Season 1 (from a first time watcher)

Okay, I did this for another series (Red vs. Blue) and I DESPERATELY want to do it for this.

This is basically my thoughts/notes/critiques of Teen Wolf season 1 as someone watching it for the first time. Please enjoy and take it with a grain of salt:

I could tell this show EXUDED 2010’s energy when I witnessed with my very own eyes and ears a DUBSTEP WEREWOLF BATTLE

Guys, if you had told me there’d be dubstep werewolf battles I would’ve watched it YEARS ago… OPEN UP WITH THAT! (Note: I am not the biggest fan of dubstep, however watching Derek and Scott beat the hell out of each other while it blares is an experience I never knew I needed)

Its music is so nostalgically 2010’s it comes off as “so bad it’s good” in a way.

I love it even though I occasionally cringe

Don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion, but Scott McCall was kinda boring in this season.

NOW BEFORE YOU JUMP ME! Scott has insane highs and simmering lows, but the highs are mostly in the beginning of s1 and the last 4-5 episodes where he SHINES.

I mean it, he went from a B to an A-tier character those last few episodes

But, the other characters were just so much more… flavorful. Like Stiles?! I LOVED every second Stiles is on screen.

On the topic of Stiles… I will be talking about how much bisexual energy this show has. Because it’s A LOT. You guys were NOT kidding about that.

It’ll probably be a repost of this or its own thing.

Honestly, and you’re gonna hate me for this, but Scott and Derek kinda act like love interests in a smutty, poorly written YA novel–BUT! It’s a bit endearing.

But also tell me you can’t see it.

I mean like, Scott’s answer to suppressing his transformation ends up being “his love for Allison” like a good 60-70% of the time.

Time to talk about Lydia. I started off HATING Lydia for like the first 1.5 episodes. I hated her snarky, mean-girl, wannabe Regina George ass at first… at first…

But, I took a step back and thought to myself:

“The pipeline from Supernatural to this show is surprisingly close… which means one of many things: they’re gonna give her massive character development and make me not only feel bad for her, but make me love her so much she becomes a favorite of mine.”

Lo and behold… you’ll never guess who my second favorite character is?

Lydia… right under Stiles where she belongs. He’s just that good

Can we please PLEASE talk about how unprofessional the Teachers are in this school! LIKE WHAT THE HELL?!

First of all, there’s the coach, which sure, he cuts corners, and can be a very questionable motivator (please don’t reward your students with an A for doing something that has nothing to do with their educational prowess. Nor should you tease them thinking it’ll motivate them. Positive reinforcement works people.)

HOWEVER… the Chemistry teacher? OOOHHH IF THERES ANY BITCH I WANNA SMACK ITS HIS ASS

How are you gonna sit there, and actively berate and insult your students, and expect good things from them.

And then, on top of all of that, YOU HAVE TO AUDACITY, to withhold information that connects you to the Hale fire?! OOOOH PETER I’LL JUMP HIS ASS WITH YOU.

Adrian Harris, you are an unprofessional, ignorant, arrogant slob unfit to teach goddamn preschoolers. (Granted, I’m while watching season 2 right now… and my hate for him has only swelled)

Speaking of Peter, I don’t think he’s the real villain of this season. He definitely is a villain, and a main one at that. But the biggest bad here?

That title goes to the woman I wanna see get the electric chair: MOTHERFUCKING KATE ARGENT

I will make my own post on Kunt Argent, analyzing this VILE woman, and why Jill Wagner plays her PERFECTLY. (Seriously she made a villain that makes my blood boil. 10/10 acting and writing)

I’ll also probably talk about Allison and what I love about her in that too because it’s important.

[hay1ock]

Late as usual lol. Only Friends Episode 9. My heart is full and my anxiety for the next 3 episodes is high lol.

Really enjoyed this episode and was nice to see the main couples kind of moving back toward each other, though seems there’s still a rocky road ahead.

These are my opinions and how I viewed what went down between everyone this episode, but don’t be surprised when I’m not hating on Ray. He’s the character I’m most invested in still.

So, opening with the morning after the night before. I think every character has crossed some sort of boundary at some point throughout the show and certainly Top was amongst those last episode after cuddling up to a passed out Mew. I don’t know how long they stayed like that but I don’t imagine Mew would have reacted quite as well as he did by just finding Top outside fishing cups out the pool. Like Mew says later, I can see his efforts throughout the episode but it did feel a little bit too much at times, especially when Mew’s moms were there too. Maybe let the man breathe and have a chance to sort through his feelings properly.

I’m trying to think more positively about Top as I know he loves Mew. Sometimes you just don’t vibe with characters or even people in real life and there was just something early on that was off-putting about Top. It was those initial interactions that felt possessive over Mew that have left this lingering suspicion about everything he does. I guess from back when he was in full TOP TIER mode and was all Mr Smugface. I appreciate him deciding to not show Mew the video of Sand and Ray. When he was looking at it again when shopping with the moms I was like, for the love of god not now lol. Mew knew he wanted to talk about Ray and probably didn’t need any hints dropping in the end, but I think it did help prompt Mew to open a long overdue conversation with Ray.

Where Top and Mew go from here we’ll have to see with the introduction of Boeing. I figured with Top’s insomnia and sleeping issues he was maybe calling someone to stay over. Now I’m hoping it was just to have a body beside him so he knew he wasn’t alone and could get to sleep. I don’t personally think with all the effort he was putting in Top would risk actually hooking up with anyone else until he was sure there was zero chance of him and Mew ever happening again, but you never know. Plus the fact it’s an ex and a very real possibility his and Sand’s shared ex… not messy at all lol. Hopefully, Mew won’t regret deciding to give him a second chance. Again, I don’t really know how I’d feel if it ever happened to me. There are no feelings on Top’s part toward Boston and yes, Boston dripped poison in his ear. It was before Mew and Top swapped I Love Yous and had sex… I guess the only way to know if he can forgive him is by trying to be with him again. It will either reignite or snuff out completely the lingering feeling of love.

Jumping back to Ray and Sand. The tension between them in that music room scene was just wow. The amount of emotions Sand expressed with his eyes alone was just…First always impresses me.

In the end I feel bad for them both. Sand doing his best to walk away and move on, despite his feelings for Ray, and Ray desperate to hold onto the one person who has made him happy in a long time. Sand has known what Ray is like since their first meeting and yet he still fell for him. He’s seen the bad, the absolute worst, but he’s also seen the Ray who isn’t blackout drunk or high or triggered by his trauma and abandonment issues. It’s up to Sand if he thinks he can handle a person who is dealing with so much baggage. Personally, if Sand is strong enough I want for him to support and continue to love Ray. With him, Ray is so much better, episode 5 showed how good they can be together, and for each other, as Sand also got to have fun and live a little like a student should, not just living to work. Obviously, love isn’t a cure for mental illness and addiction, but thinking that even on the bad days, especially in Ray’s case, that someone can stick around and does love him, then it can make things a little bit easier. I just need Ray to realise there is someone there for him and so it’s now up to him to want to get better. Because Mew’s right, most people do have some kind of limit as to what they can put up with, and Ray is A LOT.

Now, I don’t support cheating and agree that with no context Ray and Top’s action are pretty much as bad as each other. As a viewer, however, I know the relationships of TopMew and RayMew are very different. Top and Mew were supposed to be in love. Top dropped his boyfriend (yep, based on passage of time and what was said in ep 3 and 4, and beyond, I am willing to die on this hill LOL) at home, met up with Boston, got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago and then decided (after Boston twisted the truth a little) fucking Boston was the appropriate response. I just find myself struggling to be as sympathetic about that situation as I am concerning the Ray and Mew and Sand mess. In a way, when Mew says how what Ray did was the same as what Top did to him, I felt as if he maybe saw it how I did - how Sand kind of falls into the role of Mew in this trio’s case. (Ray isn’t doing it behind Sand’s back as such but he is involved in perpetuating a lie about his and Mew’s relationship).

It is Sand and Ray who were in the developing relationship, where feelings of love were being nurtured. Sand had reset them back to friends after episode 5, but it seemed, after the crash, as if they were once again growing closer. But then, in comes Mew. This isn’t to villainize him. He himself was hurt and confused and looking to get away from himself, and probably didn’t think about what it really meant for the two of them if they stepped beyond friends. If he hadn’t questioned Ray’s feelings for him, opened the door to what if, then I feel like Ray would likely have never brought it up himself. He had been told by Mew if he wanted him in his life, he had to give up on thinking of him in a romantic light. However, Mew put it out there. Regardless of his feelings for Sand, Ray would never risk losing Mew, he said it himself during their conversation this episode. If he rejected Mew there’s the fear Mew might be upset, abandon him completely. If he told him there was someone else, about Sand, there’s the risk it would be seen as a betrayal - so you didn’t really love me (Mew) all this time? It was a lie?

I just really sympathise with Ray’s situation, especially when it feels as if his love for Mew has been his one reason for staying alive for the last couple of years (though it seems he’s only recently been living since meeting Sand). Though he was not actively pursuing Mew, being by his side and cherishing him as a friend has been a constant in his life, his purpose, one that was thrown into disarray when Top came into the picture. He’s scared of people leaving him and now he has two important people in his life he can’t let go of.

But in all of this, Sand is who I felt for the most. Sand was the one who had the most emotional investment in the mess. Who was watching the person he liked going back to another man.

Mew was never invested. We knew since last episode he wasn’t. Not kissing Ray when they were alone but doing so in front of Top to spite him. Daydreaming of intimate bookstore dates with Top but not seeming to want to do anything one-to-one with Ray, instead going out and requesting parties. Even this episode, Mew was happy to agree to drink with another man, lock eyes with him over the rim of his glass, get chatted up. It just felt like there should have been the conversation of ‘sure we can talk but my boyfriend will be here soon’ in that moment.

Then we’re at Mew’s place. I understand Ray saying love makes the most sense when used in talking about Mew. He knows he loves Mew vs whatever the hell it is that keeps drawing him back to Sand. Maybe if Mew had phrased it differently a conversation could have started but the word love for Ray at this point only applies to Mew. A kiss leads to things getting handsy and Mew pushing him away. Ray’s despair filled ‘again’, actually kind of hurt. Ray was harsh, frustrated but I believe him when he said it wasn’t only about wanting sex or beating Top. Ray has always seemed like he craves intimacy, be it kisses, sex, simply hugging Sand in the morning, always reaching out and taking hold of Sand’s hand/wrist and wanting a connection. Mew has the right to say no, but I understand Ray seeing it as rejection, why he asked was he that bad? It’s just more proof he’s unlovable. It was like he was begging for Mew to prove him wrong, give him any sign there was anything between them. But Mew stays quiet. Do I wish they could have talked calmly and maybe gotten to the bottom of what they were doing to each other right then? I really do. But instead they go their separate ways.

Sand really did underestimate Ray’s desire to come see him. And no, I don’t think it had anything to do with sex at this point either, despite what I’ve seen a few people think. Oh Mew wouldn’t fuck him so he’s off to Sand. Personally, I felt it was about him wanting his comfort person, the person who shows him intimacy and care. The person who despite Ray turning up at 2am and being pissed off still allowed Ray to cuddle up to him.

Will drop it in here that Sand Ray Nick is the comedy trio I never knew I needed. Nick and Sand were so wholesome this episode and I’m glad they got to have fun, have a little kiss and stick to being the good friends they are.

I’m glad Sand was honest with Ray, finally properly admitting how he feels about him. Ray’s been in an odd limbo with Sand, another reason he was probably scared to make a proper decision between the two of them, because what if he picked wrong and lost both of them. It was cute how Sand helped lead Ray out of the water.

And so, we’re outside the caravan. Ray back in his ‘would anybody really care if I wasn’t here’ mode. I kind of like that he was in Sand’s t-shirt that had WANTED on it. In that moment, Ray really did feel wanted, realising someone would care if he was gone. It was a mixed feeling when he said about following Sand’s dream with him, up til now there’s been no hint Ray thinks about the future. Mew was behind setting up the hostel for him, so it was nice to see him finally think about something, even if it is to accompany Sand on his dreams, rather than declaring them as his own just yet.

Now, do I wish we could have had a clean break with Mew before the beautiful sex scene? Yes, I kind of do. But for Sand’s benefit more than anything else. So, he could be sure Ray was finally choosing him. Because of what we know, the fact RayMew was a sham, that Mew had no feelings invested this time around that could actually be hurt, I personally wasn’t conflicted by Ray and Sand having sex. It really felt as if Ray had made his choice. Their scene together was beautifully done, the love in Ray’s eyes and the gentle kisses after sex as they lay together. I was so happy for them.

And then, for anyone still in doubt about Mew really not giving a fuck, we have the much needed conversation between him and Ray. I’m glad they came out of it still friends and it’s not hard to see why. Neither’s heart was really in it. I like that Ray was able to be honest when prompted. It gave me a similar feel as what happened with Sand at the end of episode 5, except this time he got to talk things through with Mew. I feel as if he doesn’t feel he’s allowed to talk about stuff, or maybe how to open up and start, it was like he wanted Sand to ask questions on that night and so in a way he was relieved when Mew asked and opened up the conversation. His expression seemed to relax, accepting it was time to get everything out in the open. I’m excited and scared where things will go next. Ray was less than convincing in saying he’d talk to a therapist when Mew reminded him. It does seem from the preview he might make a move in that direction, though it seems he’s in his ‘bargaining’ stage of his grief. If he’s going to do something difficult, then so should Sand in meeting his dad. Doing it for someone else rather than himself probably isn’t going to go well, even if he admitted he has problems and was seeking help for himself, the road ahead would be littered with ups and downs, but I’m hoping by the end of the series we can at least leave him (& Sand) on an up.

So, what else for Nick. Well, I suppose there could still be some bedroom kinks for Daddy Dan, but seems the name came from Nick rather than Dan instigating it. It was sweet to see Nick smile and apparently, feel something vs his sparkless attempt at kissing Sand. I hope Dan is a good guy, there is the possible power imbalance due to him being Nick’s boss, but I’d like to think it could work out. I just wonder what the ‘lots of issues’ with his last relationship were. The scene between Nick and Boston was… interesting lol. I’m not sure it needed to be done right then and there in the bathroom but hey, when you’ve gotta go pour out your feelings, you’ve just gotta go. Plus Boston was kind of a captive audience backed into the stall so Nick got to get everything off his chest. It looked as if Boston was slightly moved, and seeing Nick with Dan, it seemed as if he had some sort of regrets. I don’t know if it’s any form of love or like, or it’s more missing just having him around as a friend. They spent a lot of time together it seemed like at the water park and Nick taking an interest in his photography - like has he shared this passion with the people who were supposed to be his friends? So yeah, maybe it’s just having someone around who was constant and a bit more intimate. I guess we shall see…

And speaking of Boston. Good luck when Cheum finds out you shagged her brother. And it does seem Atom is Nick 2.0 the upgraded crazier version. It was interesting to see Boston step back inside the gate when Atom got angry, rarely see Boston being the one to get intimidated and back up. It was only supposed to be a one night stand type of deal, Atom asked for it and though there was a little bit of hesitation, Boston accepted the invitation for sex. I’m actually a little scared for Boston. People can do crazy things when feelings get involved and Atom really doesn’t seem to be handling his well. I’m hoping nothing serious goes down, but when Cheum finds out I’m not sure Boston will be back with the group anytime soon lol.

Is that everything? I think so. This was heavy on the Ray rambling I think lol, though he was in two large chunks of story with Mew and with Sand. I just find his character so interesting. Anyway, I look forward to seeing the three couples’ dynamics next episode as well as how the characters around them play roles in what goes on.

I really do love this show.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

After School Activities

Paranormal Preteens AU: Episode Twenty

A JSE Fanfic

I didn't almost forget to post this, what are you talking about? XD Anyway, it's time for the kids to have another monster fight! Been a while since they had one. The kids meet after school to fight the paperpillar. Afterwards, someone wants to talk to them. And yeah. It's a relatively short chapter (for me). But still fun. Enjoy!

More of this AU

++++++++++++++++++++

It was hard to get ready for school on Monday. Because after class that day, they would be having their first real monster fight in a while. They couldn’t exactly bring dangerous items to school. Not to mention, what could defeat a caterpillar made out of paper in the first place? In the end, Chase managed to sneak his Nerf gun in his backpack. Maybe it could be a distraction. Schneep didn’t take anything, but he did say they should remember to look in the gym storage closet after school.

Classes took forever. Chase was never really too good in school, only average at best, but today he didn’t even try to pay attention. He kept trying to listen for signs of the paperpillar. Sometimes, he could hear it rustling under the floor... or maybe that was just the trees outside. 

But finally, it was over with. The gang had agreed to meet outside the auditorium entrance. Chase and Schneep arrived to see Jackie and Stacy already waiting there. “Hey guys,” Jackie said, smiling in greeting. 

“D’you guys know where JJ and Marvin are?” Stacy asked. “They’re the last ones.”

Chase shrugged. “No, sorry. I think their classes are just kinda far from here.”

“Right.” She nodded, fidgeting with the jacket of her uniform.

“Are you nervous, Stacy?” Schneep asked. “It is okay to be. It can be kind of... It can make people nervous. But we will be fine, I think. It did not seem too dangerous.”

“Yeah, I guess. Those guys in the hospital were probably worse and we handled that.”

“Yeah!” Chase grinned. “We just gotta do it! If we just do it, things will turn out alright.”

“We just gotta fucking do it!” Marvin suddenly appeared out of nowhere, shouting that along. “Hello everyone! You fucking ready?!” Behind him, JJ clapped excitedly, hyping him up.

“Omigosh!” Stacy jumped. “You guys scared me!”

“Sorry. I’m just excited! I get to actually use magic!” Marvin smiled wide, flapping his arms with joy.

We have to wait for people to clear out, but I’m ready whenever! JJ said.

“Hey, uh, JJ, did you...” Jackie glanced around nervously, then leaned close to him and lowered his voice to a whisper. “You didn’t bring a knife to school, did you?”

I thought about it, but I don’t think it would be much help against the caterpillar, JJ said.

“And... any other reasons?”

JJ frowned. Well I don’t want to get in trouble.

“And you don’t want other kids to get hurt?”

No, of course not. But what does that have to do with this? I’m not planning on hurting other students.

Jackie sighed. “Okay. Yeah. Anyway. Are we all ready to go whenever?”

The kids nodded in unison. “JJ, you were the one who suggested the Theatre classrooms,” Schneep said. “Should we look at them first? Get an idea of what to expect?”

JJ nodded. Follow me.

He led the others down the hallway along the side of the auditorium, then turned left and went down a hallway behind the auditorium. There were six doors down here. One led directly into the backstage area, one led into a room piled high with boxes of costumes and props that then connected to the backstage area, two were the bathrooms, and two were classrooms. Though “classrooms” was a bit of a stretch. The rooms didn’t have any student desks or teacher desks or whiteboards or educational posters on the walls. There were chairs stacked in the corners, but that was about all that looked like traditional school stuff. One room had its walls and floor painted black and had a curtain dividing the rectangular room into two squares.

“This is weird,” Chase muttered, looking around this room. Then he glanced at Marvin and hurriedly added, “I mean, I’ve never seen classrooms like this.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s weird, huh?” Marvin agreed, and Chase grinned.

“You guys have never taken a Theatre class?” Stacy asked.

“You have?” Chase asked.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s a better elective than Woodshop.”

“I  liked Woodshop. Have you ever taken a Woodshop class?”

“Well, no.”

“Hah!”

“I can promise you all that by the time you’re in my year you’ll probably have tried all electives at least once,” Jackie said. “Unless you go into choir. Then you’re just gonna keep taking that one over and over again. Anyway, I don’t think this room will work. We want places to hide, right?”

I think the other one will be better, JJ said, and took them to the second classroom in the hallway. This one had white walls and a hardwood floor with tape on it in weird designs. It was crowded full of half-finished sets. Wooden beams making the outline of doorways, partially painted canvas backdrops, rickety fake stairs, a lump of paper mache that someone was gluing fake flowers to. It was a mess, really. This is where we’re making the sets for our plays this year. He pointed to a bulletin board at the back of the room, where homemade posters are pinned.

Schneep walked up to the bulletin board, squinting. “There are a lot more plays being put on this year than I thought. I heard about Clue and the Shakespeare plays, but what are all these little ones?”

JJ’s eyes lit up. Well you have to have a lot of performances to learn! Not all plays need a lot of sets or actors or costumes, you can do a play with just two people talking! Then he stopped, shaking his head. I guess that’s not important right now, though. We need to focus.

“It’s okay, JJ, we can talk about it later!” Marvin said. “But for now, yeah. I think this room will work great. The paperpillar is pretty big and there are a lot of small nooks where we can fit but it can’t.” He rubbed his hands together. Green stars flew away from the point of contact. “I’m excited! Can we do it now? Can we?”

Jackie laughed. “You’re a lot more enthusiastic about this than you were when we talked.”

“I just—I really like—I feel good today.” Marvin beamed.

Stacy pushed open the door again and looked outside. “This hallway is pretty empty,” she said. ��And I think the connecting hallway is, too. So we can go whenever we want. Do you guys think we need to worry about leading the paperpillar around that corner?”

“I think that will help, actually,” Schneep said. “It is faster than us but could not handle the turning as well when we were below ground. So it will be slowed down.”

Chase nodded. “Alright. Well, if everyone’s ready to go, I am.” He pulled out his Nerf gun.

Let’s check to be sure that the hallways are really empty, JJ said. Then we can go.

They waited for a few minutes, until they couldn’t see any other students in the halls. And then, with Jackie in the lead, they snuck over to the sound booth access door. JJ unlocked it and they all piled inside. The trapdoor beneath the stairs was closed. Jackie crouched down and slid it open, and JJ shone his phone flashlight into the opening while the others all peered inside.

“Don’t see any sign of the paperpillar,” Chase muttered.

“Of course we wouldn’t, we had to go down, like, three hallways to see it the first time,” Stacy said.

“Alright. So.” Jackie looked at the others. “We’re really all going down there? No one wants to stay?”

“I don’t think that’d make sense,” Marvin said. “If we’re bringing the paperpillar up here, whoever’s left behind will just join up with the group eventually.”

“Well, what if someone shows up?”

“Hmm.” Schneep bit his lip. “That is a good point, actually. This is important. Someone might close the trapdoor. We do not want to get stuck down there. I can stay up and keep an eye on things. You will probably have to shout when you get close to warn me, though.”

“Are you sure, Schneep?” Chase asked.

“Yes, very sure.” Schneep nodded firmly.

Chase hesitated, then nodded back. “Okay. Shout if something happens.”

“I will.”

“Alright. If that’s sorted, let’s go on down.” Jackie stepped onto the stairs first. “Follow me.”

The gang—minus Schneep—descended into the basement of the school. It looked exactly the same as it had the last time they were here. Concrete floor, pipes and vents on the walls, and absolutely no light. “Y’know, now that I think about it, it’s weird that it’s so dark down here,” Stacy said. “If this is for maintenance, wouldn’t you want enough light to see yourself, uh, maintaining stuff?”

“This whole thing is fucking fishy,” Marvin muttered. “I bet the Circle guys have something to do with this.”

“Now... where do we go?” Jackie asked.

Listen for paper, JJ signed, causing the flashlight beam he’s holding to go crazy for a moment.

“Good point.”

The group walked up to the intersection, looking down each hallway in turn. No sign of the paperpillar down the left or the front, where the halls ended. So they turned right, going until they reached the T-intersection. No sign of the paperpillar here, either. “I don’t hear anything,” Marvin whispered. They took the only way that was open, the right branch that ended in a corner.

This was the spot where they’d found the paperpillar the first time. It was hanging from a vent on the ceiling around the corner. That vent was still missing its cover, but the paperpillar was nowhere in sight. The hallway continued until it reached a ladder, at which point it branched into another T-intersection, diverging to the left and right. “Now I hear the rustling,” Marvin whispered.

“Can you tell where it’s coming from?” Chase asked.

“No. Let’s get closer.”

As the group walked down the hallway, they began to notice something. A lot of the vents here had uncovered openings. Was that because of the paperpillar? Had it knocked the covers off so it could use the vents to travel?

To the left of the intersection, the hallway continued into another branch. But to the right, it ended in a door that was slightly ajar. Marvin pointed to the right. “There.” The rest of them could faintly hear it now, too. The sound of crumpling, rustling paper. Slowly, they crept down the hall, the sound getting louder as they approached the door. Jackie, in front, pushed it all the way open once they reached it.

Beyond the door was a square room, about fifteen feet on each side. The pipes and vents lining the hallways didn’t go into this room, but there were some industrial-looking cabinets on the far wall. Besides that, the room was basically empty... except for three key features. One, a tipped over flower pot, two feet tall, spilling dirt and purple flowers all over the floor. Two, a crack in the ground in the center of the room, the exact same shape as the one in the planetarium basement... a Fissure. And three, the paperpillar. It was curled around the Fissure, fortune-teller eyes closed, body unmoving. Was it... bigger than before? Last time, it was three feet tall while lying on the ground like this. Now... it was maybe three or four inches taller. Not much of a difference, but a noticeable one. Its body moved up and down rhythmically.

“What’s with the flowers?” Chase whispered.

JJ shrugged.

“Heather’s mom had those kinds of flowers in her garden,” Stacy muttered. “They’re irises.”

Chase blinked. “Okay? Why are they here?”

“I dunno. It doesn’t seem like a good place to grow flowers.”

While they talked quietly, the paperpillar didn’t move.

“Is it... dead?” Marvin asked.

It’s moving, JJ pointed out.

“I think if it was dead, it would... fall apart, maybe?” Jackie guessed. “Maybe it’s asleep. Marvin, do you think you could try pulling the greenlight out of it while it’s sleeping? If you can do that, we might not need to run up to the classroom.”

Marvin nodded slowly. “I’ll try, yeah.” He took a deep breath and held a hand out, reaching towards the paperpillar. The scars on his hands began to glow faintly green, and then the mound of paper was wreathed in a green glow—

And then those fortune-teller eyes opened up. The paperpillar raised its head and looked directly at them.

Chase stiffened. “Run!”

The group turned and bolted. Just in time too, as the paperpillar bunched together and then launched itself after them. “Slow it down when you can!” Jackie shouted as they rounded a corner. As expected, the paperpillar’s tiny legs weren’t able to turn its massive body fast enough and it hit the corner. But it recovered quickly and continued running after them. Gaining on them!

Marvin threw something over his shoulder. A ball of greenlight, which hit the floor and suddenly became a wall. The paperpillar hit it and stalled for a few seconds until the wall disappeared. They kept running, with him doing that two more times before the spiral staircase came into view. “Schneep!” Chase shouted. “It’s following us!”

“You’re gonna have to stall it some more while we get up there,” Stacy told Marvin in between gasping breaths.

Marvin didn’t answer, he just nodded.

The group reached the stairs, and Marvin threw up another wall to delay the paperpillar. It didn’t last long. They were halfway up the stairs when it disappeared, and the paperpillar rushed up the spiral after them.

“Heilige Scheiße!” Schneep gasped upon seeing the tide of paper rushing after the group. He hurried over to the door, which the group had closed, and opened it up again. “Go go go go!”

They ran out into the thankfully-empty hallway. The paperpillar squeezed through the doorway easily and followed them, right on their heels. JJ started to lag behind but Chase and Marvin grabbed him, pulling him ahead again just before the paperpillar lunged for him. Come on, come on, come on! So close!

Around the corner again. The paperpillar skidded on the tile floor and almost missed the entrance to the side hallway. That gave Jackie enough time to throw open the door to the classroom with all the sets and push the other kids inside. He lingered out in the hallway for a moment to make sure the paperpillar could see him, then threw down the door stopper and rushed into the room as well.

“Okay Marvin you gotta hide somewhere really good,” Chase said, speaking so quickly his words started running together.

“Okay but I gotta see the thing to do the thing!” Marvin gasped.

JJ lifted up a tarp hanging off the edge of a table. He gestured for Marvin to get under, and he did.

“What about the rest of us?” Stacy asked.

“Split up so it has to choose who to go after,” Jackie said, eyes darting around. He hurried over to the back of the classroom and grabbed a broom that was leaning against the wall. “Hurry! It’s coming!”

The rustling sound was swiftly approaching. Chase glanced around, then started climbing up that rickety set of stairs. Stacy ducked behind the paper mache mound while Schneep ducked behind a canvas backdrop and JJ climbed onto a platform and behind a plywood wall.

The paperpillar burst into the room, some of the paper on its body getting sheared off as it passed through the doorway. It ran right into a prop desk, knocking off a lamp, and stopped. It raised its head again, looking around with those fortune-teller eyes. And suddenly it lunged for the paper mache mound, the paper of its body wrapping around it.

Stacy shrieked and bolted from where she was crouching. “Hey, leave her alone!” Chase shouted. He aimed his gun at the paperpillar and fired. A single dart bounced off it, and it raised its head again to look at him. It hurried across the room towards Chase, running into the staircase he was standing on. The staircase shifted wildly and Chase gasped, kneeling down so he wouldn’t fall.

“Hey!” Jackie shouted. “Over here!”

The paperpillar raised its head and looked towards him. It lunged for him, but there were several half-finished sets in the way that it ran into.

Jackie ran along the back wall of the room. “Marvin?!”

“I’m working on it!” Marvin shouted. His hand was sticking out from under the table. The paperpillar was indeed surrounded in that same green glow from before, but nothing was happening.

It continued after Jackie, who ran through a free-standing doorway and slammed the door attached to it just before the paperpillar rushed through. Its body bunched up and it reeled back... and then turned its head to the side. Not looking at Jackie, or at any of the other kids in the room. But instead, at the bulletin board. It hurried over and threw its body against the board. There was a crumpling sound. And when it pulled away, the posters pinned there were gone.

“Did... did that thing just eat the posters?” Stacy asked.

Schneep suddenly gasped. “Of course!” He took his backpack off and pulled out a sheet of paper. Even from here Chase recognized an old homeroom assignment—only Mr. Bartley used that ugly shade of brown for his papers. Schneep balled up the paper and threw it towards the paperpillar. It landed next to it, and the paperpillar immediately swiveled its attention towards there. Its head lowered, right on top of the paper, and then when it raised again the paper was gone.

It’s eating paper! JJ said.

“Exactly!” Schneep nodded. “Eating it and getting bigger! I think it knows when we have paper, even if it is in our bags.”

“Ohhhh!” Stacy took off her backpack and pulled out a couple sheets of lined paper. “Hey! Caterpillar!” She waved the papers over her head. The paperpillar looked towards the sound of her shouting and rushed over. She yelped and scrambled to run in the other direction. The paperpillar ate up the sheets she’d dropped.

“Well, distracting it just got a lot easier,” Chase commented, carefully taking his backpack off and looking inside.

“You guys keep doing that, I’ll keep doing this!” Marvin shouted. “I think it’s working!”

“Got it!” Chase pulled out some random paper that had crumpled to the bottom of his bag and threw it to the side. The paperpillar rushed after it.

All of the kids had paper with them in some form or another. Jackie and JJ only had their current assignments with them, but Schneep and Stacy both had stacks of lined paper in their bags, and Chase had a lot of paper pushed down to the bottom of his backpack. Some of these were probably overdue assignments, actually... Well, distracting a big monster was probably a better use of them, anyway. But even so, he quickly ran out. Schneep and Stacy, with their excess of paper, proved to be the best distractors.

“Why do you guys have so much paper, anyway?” Chase asked.

“It’s for doing assignments on, duh!” Stacy said, crumpling up another sheet and throwing it.

“Why do you not have spare paper?” Schneep asked. “Any of you?”

“I forgot to buy some!” Jackie said defensively.

“Why would I carry around paper when the teachers always have some?” Chase reasoned.

“You should not rely on the community paper, Chase!” Schneep scolded, tossing another paper ball. “What if it runs out because so many people were taking from it?”

“Hey, get on JJ and Marvin’s case about the paper, too!”

Our parents told us to just get some from other kids, JJ said.

“That’s a bit, uh—that’s a bad idea,” Jackie said.

Yeah I know. Sometimes I buy my own paper but I haven’t done that recently. Too busy.

With their stacks of paper combined, Schneep and Stacy sent the paperpillar rushing back and forth across the classroom, weaving around sets and occasionally knocking stuff over. The green glow around it got brighter and brighter until it almost hurt to look at. And when it got too bright to look at directly—

FWOOM! —

The paperpillar suddenly exploded.

It wasn’t fiery like explosions were, but there was no better way to describe the way that all the paper making up its body suddenly shot outwards. Chase yelped as some of it hit him with surprising force. Like being pelted with paintballs. Luckily he was able to shield his face. The others also got hit by some of the crumpled paper to similar results. Jackie was the only one not able to protect his head, and he yelped as one of the paper balls hit him directly in the eye. “Owww...” he groaned, rubbing it.

Loose, flat sheets of paper floated down from the sky. Marvin climbed out from under the table. “I-I think I did it?” he said, breathing heavily. “I mean... mostly? It felt like... like there was more, but... i-it was getting really hard to hold all of it... if that makes sense.”

Look! JJ said, and pointed.

Where the giant paperpillar had been before, there was now a tiny version of it. The tiny paperpillar was made out of ripped pieces of paper, none of them bigger than an inch across, and it was about as long as Chase’s forearm. The fortune tellers it used for its eyes were gone, but there were tiny green specks of light that seemed to serve the same purpose. The paperpillar inched over to one of the sheets of paper that fell from the sky and wriggled on top of it. No doubt trying to eat it. But the sheet was too big and it was too small.

“Awww, it’s cute now!” Stacy cooed.

Marvin and JJ walked over to it. Schneep and Stacy soon joined them—and Chase, too, once Jackie helped him down from the rickety stairs. “What do we do with it?” Schneep asked.

“I mean... now that we know it just eats paper, I don’t think it’s dangerous,” Chase said.

“But we still can’t let it just wander around,” Jackie pointed out. “Looks like whole sheets of paper are too big, but it can still eat bits that are ripped or cut up. If it gets big again, it might start going after people who have paper with him. Like it did with us. Which, in a school full of teachers handing out assignments on paper, is not ideal.”

“What if one of us takes it home?” Schneep suggested. “To keep an eye on it. It could be a tiny pet, even.”

We can’t take it home, JJ said. It might upset Sinney.

“I keep forgetting you guys have a cat,” Chase muttered.

“Well I can’t take it home,” Stacy said. “I don’t want my sister to find it.”

“Hmm... I dunno, maybe we could take it home?” Chase said. Though Schneep looked a bit nervous about that. Maybe worried about Mom finding it.

Jackie sighed. “Alright, I’ll do it. I can hide it from Dad easily enough, he never goes in my room without knocking.” He put his backpack on the ground, opening it up. “Heyyyy, paperpillar. Look in here. Look at all the yummies.” The paperpillar turned at the sound of his voice, then crawled into the backpack. As soon as it was fully in, Jackie zipped it up. “Okay. Cleanup time.”

Chase looked around the classroom at all the paper scattered everywhere. He groaned. “But we need to get home soooon!”

“That’s, uh, a good point, actually,” Marvin said. “Mam and Dad are gonna get worried if JJ isn’t home.”

Jackie frowned. “Well, uh... I-I don’t want you guys to get in trouble. So you can leave if you have to. The rest of us can do it.”

“My parents are gonna be worried, too,” Stacy added.

“A-and I do not want to make Aunt Jess worry,” Schneep said.

Jackie looked at all the kids. “Oh. So you’re saying I have to do it all by myself?” He groaned, just like Chase had. “Y’know what? Fu—screw that. People can just wonder what happened. Maybe they’ll think it was a prank.”

“Sooo... we’re just going, then?” Marvin asked.

“Yeah. Let’s just go.”

The group left the classroom and headed down the hallway. “Y’know, that was easier than anything else we’ve done,” Chase said. “I think we’re getting better at this.”

And then someone turned into the hallway. Someone familiar. Mrs. Karter.

The group stalled for a moment, all of them remembering at once her involvement with the planetarium stuff, and how she was one of the teachers who’d been pushy and weird lately. But then Jackie cleared his throat. “Hey, Mrs. Karter,” he said casually, and started walking around her.

She stepped in front of him. “I need to talk to you kids.”

Schneep tensed, grabbing onto Chase’s hand. Marvin’s fingers twitched, some speckles of greenlight flickering around them. JJ took a step back. Stacy stayed where she was, frozen.

“Uh... I don’t think we’re all in your class—” Jackie said.

“It’s not about that.” Mrs. Karter sighed. “It’s about... well, you all should know what. You kids need to know how dangerous this is.”

Marvin hissed, like a feral cat. “Dangerous?! You’re fucking talking about—fuck you!”

Karter frowned. “That’s not really acceptable language for a school—”

“Fuck you!” Marvin repeated, and JJ nodded firmly in agreement.

“Y-you know, our parents are expecting us to get home soon,” Stacy stammered out.

“I know, I know, I won’t keep you long.” Karter hesitated. “I’m... sorry about what happened in the hospital.”

“Yeah, fuck you!” Marvin said again, his voice trembling a bit this time.

“No, really, th-they were never going to hurt you. Or, at least, they shouldn’t have.”

The kids exchanged glances. The Circle must not have known they’d read their memos. They must not know that the kids knew all about their messed-up plan for Marvin, and any others they could get their hands on.

“Then... what were they doing?” Jackie asked slowly, testing her response.

“They were just supposed to take a little bit of blood,” Karter explained. “I don’t know why they decided to take him down there. Take you down there, Marvin. All of them have been kicked out for that.”

The kids didn’t bother to hide their doubt. “So... what do you want now, then?” Chase asked. “Why have you guys been staring at us all the time?!”

“We just want you to be safe,” Karter said gently. “We just want everyone to be safe. You see, about ten years ago these cracks started opening up in the ground all over town. Mostly in basement places. And things started to come out. Sometimes it was a... physical thing, but more often it was this energy that glowed green. You must’ve seen it around, right? We call it transformation energy. Because if something gets too close to the energy, it starts to absorb it and transform into a monster. And these monsters would cause chaos all across town. They would hurt people.”

“O... kay,” Jackie said slowly. “So what’s that got to do with us?”

“You kids have found some of those monsters, haven’t you?” Karter asked. “I know you probably think it’s fun to fight them. Just like a cartoon, right? But they’re very dangerous. They could hurt you very badly.”

They could kill us, you mean? JJ asked.

“Um... I’m sorry, Jameson, I know you speak sign language but I just don’t know it.”

“He asked if you’re saying the monsters could kill us,” Marvin said, glaring at her.

“Oh.” Karter looked faintly surprised. “W-well... yes. That’s what I mean. And we want you to be safe. You’ve done a great job so far, but we have a group who’s been keeping the monsters under control for a long time now. We know what we’re doing. So, you have to leave it to us now, okay?”

The group didn’t say anything. They just looked at each other, all equally uncertain.

And then, Mrs. Karter’s shadow shifted. It raised up from the ground—and became Anti. Chase gasped. Karter noticed the way they were all looking behind her and started to turn around. But quickly, Anti grabbed her by the shoulders. There was an audible ZAP! noise and Mrs. Karter suddenly fell forward. Jackie lurched forward like he wanted to catch her, but he wasn’t fast enough, so instead he crouched by her side and checked her pulse on her wrist.

“Anti!” Stacy gasped.

“What are you doing here?” Schneep asked.

Anti shrugged. “I was watching you guys fight that big paper thing. The paperpillar.” He grinned. “You did great! Marvin, I didn’t know you could do that!”

“Yeah, no thanks to you!” Marvin snapped.

“What did you do to Mrs. Karter?” Chase demanded.

“Sh-she’s fine,” Jackie gasped. “But—but you... knocked her out?” He stared up at Anti, eyes wide. This was his first time seeing him in person. And... he really did look like Jack.

“I don’t like bullies,” Anti said simply. “And that’s all the Circle guys are, really. A bunch of bullies pushing people around, like how she was trying to push you to stop.” He shook his head. “But you can’t stop now.”

“Why not?” Chase asked. “Why can’t we stop?”

“Well I mean... that’s boring,” Anti said. “But also that’s what they want you to do. So that means that it can’t be good, because nothing they want is good.”

“She... said the Circle is protecting the city,” Stacy said slowly.

“Yeah, she was lying. The Circle guys lie all the time.”

JJ frowned. I don’t want to agree with Anti, but that’s true. They lied and said Marvin ran away when he was really in the hospital the whole time.

Anti leaned back as JJ signed, folding his legs under him and floating in the air. He groaned loudly. “Oh you shut up,” he said, looking at JJ.

“Don’t fucking tell him to shut up!” Marvin shouts, while behind him JJ signs something about being done anyway.

“What do you want, Anti?” Jackie asked quietly.

Anti blinked. He paused for a moment, like he wasn’t expecting that question. Like no one had asked him that question before at all. “I want,” he said slowly, “to see what you can do. I want to set things up so that you can do it. It’s like... a challenge thing.”

“Okay, but... why do you want to challenge us?” Jackie asked.

“You guys seemed fun. And funny.” Anti giggled. “I saw Chase fall down on his skateboard, that was funny.”

“Hey,” Chase said defensively.

“So I thought that even if you guys don’t do good, it’ll at least be fun.”

“Okay, but why?” Jackie pressed. “Not, ‘why did you choose us,’ why do you want to play this—this challenge game at all? What do you get from it? What do you want?”

Anti was silent for a moment. Then he shrugged. “I dunno.” And before anyone could ask what that meant, he disappeared.

“...well then,” Schneep said. “That was... That was all strange.” He stared at Mrs. Karter. “I do not like the way she was speaking to us.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Marvin agreed, frowning.

It was like she thought we were dumb, JJ said.

“A bit condescending, yeah,” Jackie muttered. “I... Do you guys think we should call the hospital about her getting shocked, or...?”

But just as he said that, Mrs. Karter started to stir. “Let’s just get out of here,” Chase said hurriedly.

The group hurried down the hallway, disappearing from sight before Mrs. Karter fully woke up. They then continued down the halls until they reached a side entrance to the school and left. The air outside was crisp and cool, the trees around the school having lost about half their leaves. The remaining leaves clinging to the branches were brown and dead-looking. The rustling noise they made when the wind passed through sounded so much like the paperpillar did that Chase tensed a little bit.

“So... now what?” Marvin asked.

“We... go home?” Stacy said, confused.

“No, I know that. I mean... what about after that?” Marvin asked. “I think Anti’s gonna keep us involved in whatever he’s doing no matter what we or the Circle want. So... what? Do we just keep doing stuff? Or do we wanna stop so that the Circle stops bothering us?”

I think we should lie low for a while, JJ said. Maybe until after Christmas. Then, maybe the Circle will think the teacher convinced us to stop.

“But we do not know if they really want us to stop,” Schneep pointed out. “What if they are just waiting for the right moment to attack?”

Jackie sighed. “It’s all complicated,” he muttered. “Marvin’s right, I don’t think Anti will leave us alone. I think... I think we have to stop him, somehow? I mean... I think he thinks this is fun. But he doesn’t realize what’s really happening. He pushed Marvin down the stairs and didn’t see anything wrong with that. If we don’t figure out some way to make him stop, he might do more stuff like that.”

Chase nodded. “Yeah. I really think that Jack guy has something to do with this.”

“I do too, little man. It’s just hard finding him.”

“I think JJ is right,” Stacy said. “We need to take a break for the holidays. See if that, um, affects anything.”

“But what about after that?” Marvin asked. “Are we gonna stop?”

Chase looked at him. “Do you want to stop?”

Marvin hesitated. “No. I-I think—I think this could be—I mean, Anti’s an asshole, but—I-I have magic now! I want to use it!” He grinned. “And—and I think this is the best way I can use it.”

“We’re the only ones who know about all this, I think,” Jackie said. “Besides the Circle. And I don’t trust those guys to handle all their ‘Anomalies’ and junk. I mean, there’s like five that we’ve taken care of that they couldn’t.” He paused. “And... I think... we need to stop the Circle, too. Not just the Anomalies.”

JJ nodded. They’re going to do terrible things. I just know it.

“And the police won’t believe us,” Jackie continued. “I tried, and they won’t. We can’t just tell them, they’ll ignore us again. We need to either get undeniable proof... or do it ourselves.” He looked at the others. “I think Mrs. Karter was right about one thing back there. It’s gonna be dangerous.”

Chase tightened his grip on his Nerf gun. “We’re stuck in this anyway, aren’t we? You just said that Anti’s gonna keep dragging us in. So we should go in ourselves.”

“I do not want any other people to get hurt,” Schneep said. “If we can do something to stop that, I-I want to.”

Marvin nodded. “Yeah. No one else should be stuck in that hospital place.”

“I’m not gonna stop now,” Stacy said firmly.

They’re not going to get away with this, JJ said.

Jackie smiled at all of them. “You guys are so brave, y’know that? Alright. We’ll take a break until the holidays are over. Maybe talk about what we’ll do next. Then... then we’ll go in swinging.”

“Heck yeah!” Chase whooped.

“Fuck yeah!” Marvin added, upping the ante.

“But we really do gotta head home now,” Jackie said. “So... I’ll see you all later, then.”

The group said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. It was a cold day, and the days would get colder soon. But they wouldn’t turn away from the cold. They would bundle up and brace themselves, ready to take on what was coming together.

[plasticbcnes]

courtney eaton & she/her / cis woman — i see you’ve settled on stephanie gingrich ! fill your inventory, you’re heading to litwick. you look 27 years old and i hear you’re from seattle ? well, i think lemon lane will be the perfect fit for you. make sure you stop by the music shop and introduce yourself as their new manager ! it’s strange, you almost remind me of steph gingrich from life is strange. we hope you enjoy the slow life ! 

playlist | pintrest

content/trigger warnings: divorce, death, depression

full name: stephanie gingrich

nicknames: steph

pronouns/gender: she/her ; cis woman

sexuality: lesbian

birthday: december 14, 1996

zodiac sign: sagittarius ☉ | aquarius ☽ | libra➶

hometown: astoria, or & seattle, wa

neighborhood: lemon lane

mbti: estj

enneagram: 4w3

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

element: fire

bio

steph was born in oakland, ca to a couple freshly out of college. the couple ended up moving up to astoria, oregon where her father was originally from when steph was still a baby

the couple split up when steph was four, and her mom moved up to seattle for a job as an art teacher - and so began steph's time spent between the two towns

steph loved art and music from a young age, influenced heavily by watching her mother and her love for it. her father, though, was the first to float the idea of an private arts high school that was not far from where he lived in oregon, and steph jumped at the chance, and begged her mom to let her attend

steph took to the school like a duck to water, embracing her talent in music, and getting to explore other areas in the arts provided there.

during her senior year, though, her father died during a heavy storm from a fallen tree limb and electrical wire. with the loss of her father, steph isolated herself, finishing school was purely to open the escape route out to college back home in seattle.

she attended college, changing her focus to video game design - a passion that felt so separated from everything else. but it wasn't long until her old loves came back, and she threw herself into the music scene fully, making friends and having her favorites of local bands.

it was there where she met her first real girlfriend, izzie. she fell in love quickly, and the two formed their own music group, that very quickly took off in the seattle music scene, especially amongst the queer scene.

the two found minor success elsewhere around the US, finding blips of listeners anywhere from phoenix to little towns like rolling springs, pa. the two gathered what little money they had, and started a tour across the country, offering to do jobs on a short-term basis everywhere they went for some extra cash.

their stop in litwick was the longest stay they'd had found. before they wound up in litwick, their longest stay anywhere was a little over two weeks in denver, co, where steph will admit was mostly because they spent more money on weed than they should have

but something about litwick resonated with steph in a way that nothing really had in a long time, and weeks had turned to months in the small town. when conversations about leaving sprung up, steph dismissed them or changed the subject. she took a job at the local music shop, magical melody, working as a clerk, while izzie bounced impatiently between the books & the bees, dupont's grocery, and reece's bar and grill.

eventually the ignored conversations came to a head, and became a fight. izzie demanded to keep moving, and steph couldn't quite bring herself to leave. the couple broke up, and izzie left, returning back home to seattle, and after an extended depressive episode, steph found her footing in litwick, ingratiating herself into the town, and during the last 4 years in town, was promoted to manager at magical melody, and only sometimes has existential crises about having stayed put, and the stagnation that has come with her decision.

[ecargmura]

Metallic Rouge Episode 13 Review + Final Thoughts - Their Free World

Well, that was disappointing. What do you mean the anime ends like that? I finally managed to understand what the heck is going on now and it ends. It kind of sucks when one of the animes you were anticipating to watch soon becomes a train wreck.

To no one’s surprise, Roy Yunghart was the Puppetmaster, but the twist goes even deeper as the Roy in front of them isn’t the real one; the real one died and the one in front of them is a Nean copy. It turns out that he likes to body jump and Cyan is his third body essentially as he jumps to her body once Sylvia stabs him. The fact that he was the one who ordained everything feels like bullcrap. I know it fits with the freedom and will themes but at this point, I don’t care anymore.

The final battle between possessed Cyan and Rouge was pretty cool, though. Naomi deciding to sacrifice her vessel and permanently be fused into Rouge’s body was something I didn’t expect. The fusion form between them was cool; it sort of looks like a Digimon with the pupils and wings. Maybe it’s just me, but it reminds me of a robotic/mecha Digimon.

The surprise twist that Opera was a Usurper and is still out and about feels like a cop out. I feel like this anime was intentionally made to be two cours, but given that it’s an original anime project and those normally don’t get two cours means that everything has to be bunched up and thrown in as much as possible. The fact that the ending of Metallic Rouge ends with Rouge facing off against Opera shows this.

I’m glad the Neans became free, but the ending doesn’t show what happens to them or what happens to the other characters. What happened with Jean? Ash? Noir? Aes/Alice? Is Giallon even alive? What happened with everyone else? 

Final Thoughts

Metallic Rouge’s concept and premise was cool. Watching the trailer legit got me inserting this show into my already long watch list for Winter 2024 but as weeks went by, it started dropping in terms of story quality. I feel like Bones had high ambitions for this project, but couldn’t really execute them properly due to time constraints. It’s unfortunate that an anniversary project ends up becoming mediocre since I do like BONES’s works—The Case Study of Vanitas is my favorite anime and they animated that beautifully—but this one was a miss.

I enjoyed the first five episodes but then after episode 6, the episode quality starts dropping. So many unexpected and unnecessary reveals; so many characters were introduced; a sudden liberation plot came into play. It’s really hard to keep up with the story when too many elements spoil the soup.

It also makes it hard to enjoy some of the characters. I did enjoy the characters, but it’s kind of hard to get attached to anyone not named Rouge or Naomi; though, I did like Ash and Noid—I kind of wished they were built up a bit more. For example, Grauphon was an Immortal 9 member but I knew nothing about him to care. The best character and the most underutilized was the drifter granny from Episode 2. She needed to be in the show more.

Though, the writing choices did make it hard to enjoy some characters. Like, why did Naomi have to betray Rouge and then reveal that she’s a Nean created by the Visitors. Like, why is everyone not named Ash a Nean? Jean is half-Nean and we’re not even sure how Neans can reproduce if they’re mass-produced like smart phones.

I did enjoy the animation and music. The dramatic music reminded me of sci-fantasy RPGs like Xenoblade and I feel like some songs here could fit in Xenoblade or Star Ocean given the similar settings. The animation was fluid, especially with the mecha fights. The fights were what made the show shine. I really liked the opening song, though. It felt like listening to 90’s anime openings.

The anime got a great cast of voice actors, but not having a great story or plot sort of ruins it. I liked Tomoyo Kurosawa as Naomi and Yui Ogura and Jill/Sylvia but why did they have to be in this rather mediocre show? They all rocked in terms of performances, but this anime is one of the cases where the voice acting, animation and music are great, but everything else isn’t.

I feel like I’m ranting, which I deserve to after enduring 13 weeks of this show. I heard that there will be a manga adaptation for this show, so I hope that it expands the lore more because the anime fumbled hard with consistency. Would I recommend this show to anyone? Nope. There are better sci-fi/mecha shows out there and with better story, so don’t waste your time with this one.