#and he has the audacity to talk shit about me when he literally got mad for no reason

[hiimawarish]

You know how there are some friends that just ghost you for no reason, and no matter how many times you try to reach out, they remain distant and you can feel how much it bothers them that you even try? Like why aren't people just honest and tell you that they don't want to be friends anymore?

Now whenever I see that guy anywhere I literally get a mini panic attack because he triggers me so much.

[wilcze-kudly]

Why do I get so attached to minor/side antagonists in tlok, especially Aiwei and Baatar Jr?

Like Aiwei is, from what I know, the first confirmed gay man in the franchise (we all hype Kya up where is Aiwei's gay clout huh), a member of an anarchist syndicate, and spent years undercover. And he has a slay nosering!

Tbh Aiwei gives some autism vibes with how he constantly calls people out for lying and is very blunt with his opinions and feelings, like when he told some random noodle seller that he was a liar bcs the guy claimed to be selling "the best noodles" or when Mako was trying to be polite and Aiwei called him out for lying too.)

But he's also so mysterious. Like he's been in the Red Lotus for years presumably, unless Zaheer could reqruit from a jail cell, and also has been infiltrating Zaofu for years, long enough for Su to consider him family. But like man I need details.

And he seems.... genuinely nice? To some degree. Like he helped Lin out when she was sick from stress and shit, even though it would probably be beneficial to him to have an enemy in a weakened state, and I think he genuinely cared for the Beifongs, at least to some degree.

I need to know more about him, his relationship to the Beifongs, his reasons for being in the Red Lotus.

And Baatar Jr is also so interesting but people only bring him up when they're trying to make Kuvira look better by being like: "oh Baatar did this shit too." Like yeah bitch but he's also a surprisingly interesting character on his own. Like if you're gonna talk about his warcrimes let's talk about his wonderfully crafted inferiority complex.

Like he's if Bumi had an engineering degree and also was evil. He's the firstborn child of TOPH FUCKING BEIFONG the greatest earthbender who ever lived. His other brothers are metalbenders, and especially the twins are clearly carrying on the family legacy. His only fellow nonbender is Opal who is then ripped away by RANDOMLY SPAWNING AIRBENDING. And he's lived in his father's shadow, literally carrying his name and simply engineering his father's projects instead of inventing anything ot his own?

And his love and dedication to Kuvira is genuinely devastating. Like how he prioritised her over everything, his family, the Earth Empire... and the bravery? He stared down at Korra who was in the Avatar state and holding him up with one arm and he laughed. HE LAUGHED IN HER FACE AND HER OTHERWORLDLY GLOWING EYES THE AUDACITY. Thw only think he feared was being seperated from Kuvira agh

He looks so unimpressed wtf [its bcs he's dating Kuvira right they provably do way scarier shit in the bedoom huh]

And the fact that he invented the avatarverse version of nuclear warfare FOR THE LOVE OF A WOMAN. A woman who then tried to kill him with it omg the drama! And also his VA did give a really good performance especially in the moments when he wames up after Kuvira's betrayal (even though he does kinda sound like Nazeem from Skyrim).

I also admire his "Wing and Wei will never forgive me. And Opal." Vs. Kuvira's "I said sorry why are you guys still mad at me". We love a king who takes responsibility for his war crimes and betrayal. Like yeah he still got of wayyy to easy but he's at least clearly not expecting forgiveness. And I do kinda love him just completely swerving Kuvira in the comic she does kinda deserve it lol.

[eff-plays]

Wyll really is just so ignored, I'm playing for the first time and just got to act three and jesus, first time seeing his dad in forever at gortash's ceremony thing and theres like no reaction from Wyll?? unless my game bugged which it's been doing more than a fair amount since patch 7.. Like a lot. I saw someone say that Wyll gets treated like Karlachs backpack and like yeah... that scene is about gortash and karlach mostly, Wyll and his dad are just kinda there?? Mean while astarions plotline about vampires doesnt really seem relevant to the story literally at all but theres so much content focusing on that.

HEY sorry for coming back here to yell. If you know all of this or don't care for my flabbergasted yelling then please don't mind me, apologies if this is nonsensical, I am bewildered and my mind has been servery boggled. I just fully took a second to notice that wyll has 1 (ONE) greeting if you've romanced him, I was a lil baffled so I spent a minute spamming everyone in camp and saying hi and ahahahahah, everyone but lae'zel and the side npcs has at least two for the approval I have with them, karlach has 4. So I went to the wiki and, lae'zel has 4 possible romantic greetings and everyone else have above 10 APART FROM WYLL, WHO HAS 1, some of those greetings are if you've broken up but Wyll apparently has 0 (ZERO) if you've broken up BECAUSE Wyll has 7 possible greetings TOTAL TOTAL!! lae'zel has the same amount of platonic greetings as Wyll does total, asstarion has 27, shadowheart has 36 , Karlach has 38. what the actual shit, I'm not sure if the wiki is outdated and they added more for patch 7 but like?????? I also just had that cutscene with mizora, we had just doomed either Wyll or his dad, his dad in my case (even though what Mizora was offering was his location and protection from all but us, doesn't mean that he's dead for sure but everyones acting like Wyll just sacrificed his dad for his freedom, EXCEPT for Karlack whos acting like I took the deal, they really refuse to fix any bugs that involve Wyll huh), and we just get one of those "talk to me" interactions in camp, you don't even get to talk to him about it after that, he just goes right back to "I'm here for you, always" and all the default dialogue options, like bro you dad apparently just had his death cemented and THATS ALL WE GET? thats all he gets? No extra lil bit of dialogue to reassure him seeing as we may have just killed his dad?? idk it feels very significant to his character seeing as he often talks about how much he adores his dad but no? I really regret romancing Wyll first, I'm just getting mad at the game and his treatment like damn. I'm so disappointed, usually fandom ignoring any and all poc in games is just their racism and I've no doubt thats still happening here but I really can't blame people for not latching onto Wyll, he's great and I love him but even when romancing him and no one else, every other companion seems to have so much more going on, cause they literally do, they have so much more content. I knew he had less, I've seen that reddit post about the amount of hours each companion gets but the greeting thing really just whacked me in the face. small and minor correction, i misread the 10 as a16 I believe, so astarion has 21 not 27 as i think i said before! STILL OVER DOUBLE WHAT WYLL HAS AHAHA

(I assumed these were the same person so I bundled them in one big ask)

Oh but remember, Larian ENSURES all their devs work on EXACTLY what they want to work on!!! :))))

This is also why I think Durgewyll is the big brain romance of the game. Because it's the only way to experience even slightly more Wyll content. Like?? ONE romance greeting that was BUGGED for until a much later patch? Like!!!!! GENUINELY THE FUCKING AUDACITY. They should be legit fr fr ashamed lmao. Also Neil Newbon glazing Larian for being soooooo inclusive and making such groundbreaking representation while their only Black character is in the fucking toilet.

Ugh. It sucks so bad lmao. It's frustrating too cuz there's nothing one can do. Clearly speaking up about it has done fuck-all. Even if they drop the world's biggest Wyll patch, it'll still be like oh ok so all that racism was just a funny joke I guess? "Haha tricked you all into thinking we were racist?" To be clear I do want a massive Wyll patch, but I'm still never getting a Larian game again even if they drop it. I'll mayhap pirate one but even so. They've shown their priorities and preferences. They're SOOOOOO keen on speaking to their fans and addressing every little piss-ass useless gripe as soon as possible, except when you ask about Wyll. Then it's radio silence. Because even acknowledging it, apologizing for it, would be inconvenient. It would make it a Big Deal that people would Talk About, and it would tarnish Larian's current status as the gamer audience darling. So better to pretend it's not happening. After all, the only people upset are just some Twitter randos, and nobody listens to those guys.

Whatever man. Theo Solomon saying peanits.

[lonesomedotmp3]

right ok. I'm so exhausted I think it's making my anger a lot more composed but I'm ummmm actually really angry! haha! text message guy was being a fucking dickhead all night with his stupid dickhead friend who keeps egging him on and sharing stupid unfunny offensive jokes where the joke is just like fucking. saying the word aids or pedophile or whatever. proper juvenile shit genuinely I don't Get what is funny. well they were drunk so that's the answer I guess. and then they doing the guy thing and the drunk thing of being overly friendly in a way that's making fun of you being kind of rude and being fucking. attention seeking. and loud and interrupting me and my friend (who was a fucking godsend except for a moment we'll get to in a second 😐) who were just being chill and watching the live music. and it goes on so much longer than anticipated I'm tired I only basically went because I wanted to show my friends they should still invite me to stuff LOL and because a potential new friend was gonna be there too. but that's not relevant except to let you know my I was already not in a bitchy mood by any means I was just sort of ready to Go. and I left my stuff in my (chill) friend's room on campus so we all (chill friend, text message guy, his twat friend) went there. and they would not stop with these stupid jokes over and over and I was like " 😐 you literally have three jokes" and in response the twat friend said "no like I was saying I'm not even drunk I'm sober rn" just to give you a sense of what I was dealing with in terms of conversation. and I was over it I wanted to fucking leave but they kept going even in the hallway while my chill friend went to the loo. I don't remember specifically what set it off but I had already stopped acknowledging them/humouring them at all I just ignored them then it got bad enough I walked off. and those stupid cunts FOLLOWED ME . and were like teeee tee we're sorryyy 😥😥😥 in that stupid childish drunk way and I was like I'm fine it's fine I just need to go. and they could tell I was mad at this point. and fucking text message guy. has the AUDACITY. to go "aw, come on tee, you know we love you"

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😑😑😑

and I, admittedly in a manner that made me feel for a brief moment like a Bad Bitch, replied without missing a beat: "yeah I know- you fucking texted it to me, remember?"

and then it was out there!!!!! I said it finally I was just so angry and frankly I did say it to try and hurt him and embarrass him I'll say it lol because I felt fucking embarrassed that whole night and with the whole stupid ordeal anyway. and there was SUCH a relief. like ok I said it it's out. I said it EXPLICITLY. There was no way to misinterpret what I just said to him even with him drunk like that. I did the hard thing I did the confrontation now I should get the reward of finding out what the fuck is his problem. and he delays for a moment, still with mothballs in his skull, and then goes "oh" but like not an "oh shit" oh more like he was just remembering it and he LAUGHS and goes "...and you sent the question mark...?" and EYE say "and you never fucking explained what that was, yeah" and I was fucking fuming I was heated I wasn't yelling but like. I was mad. lowkey wish chill friend was there I think their reaction would have been crazy. sorry I luv to narrativise my stupid life! anyway. and he's just like oh yeah. and then laughs. and goes. 😐😐😐😐😐. he goes, "well I guess you'll never know." all smug. and I wanted to break his neck. like it's not even that there's any truth to it you fucking gave it away you admitted it was a message to me you admitted you saw the text back you admitted that these were all deliberate choices! If not now than in a second when you keep fucking talking. but the way he said it like it was so funny keeping that from me. when I was so stressed about it and about protecting HIS feelings. fuck him oh my god.

but yeah so he does that and then the twat who caught only half of it and is using negative percents of his brain is like wait what message! what message! and text guy laughs and just goes haha just a message I sent to show my appreciation for tee! and the twat is like you're such a sap man. or something to that effect. I'm literally doing deep breathing rn typing this fucking hell. and of course coming out of the loo chill friend hears ONLY this small bit and I don't know now if they understood at any point that I was no longer kind of tired and annoyed by what I will extremely generously call their "drunk antics," but instead was seriously pissed. but they go, at this point thinking everything is still chill and a laugh, "what, are you two an item now?" and I just felt so small and miserable. and I just muttered "ask fucking [guy's name]" and kept moving I wanted to scream. because still he could not just be fucking straight with me and was messing me about for no reason at all. and by the time our paths diverged I just sort of loudly went BYE! without any sentimentality or individual goodbyes as they went to a bar and I went on my way home. and then I immediately called my friend and yelled about this so loudly and viciously I'm sure the entirety of the fucking city heard about it. I literally was like "hey it's late I hope you're not busy or trying to sleep" and as soon as she said she could talk I went. I hope the guy who sent me that fucking text kills himself. and I mean it.

[caffeinatedopossum]

The absolute cis man AUDACITY-

Tw sh (just a story/rant about me talking to someone I know about it)

So today I talked to one of my friends and we got on the topic of how I used to sh (didn't tell him I still do it cause that's kind of an open wound- pun intended lol) and he was asking a lot of questions so I was telling him the traumatic story of how my mom found out and (among other horrible things) forced me to read her what the words I'd scratched on myself were... and he has the AUDACITY to ask me what they were 😭 like I'm not really mad at him I'm just so shocked he asked. I told him that was kinda personal and he let it go after a few moments but it kinda got me shaken up a bit. Idk I think talking about it is more triggering than I realized

To this day, my mom is the only person I've ever told what I wrote and when I told her, she told me those things were true about me. So yeah, sorry if I don't really want anyone to know

Oh yeah also lol this wasn't that important but I just find it funny that he gave the generic "don't be ashamed of your scars, they're evidence of all the battles you won uwu 🥹" like pfft- idk why I just hate that shit, I can't imagine that spiel actually helping anyone who struggles/struggled with sh

I've never assigned any sort of moral values with my scars whatsoever. I just know they bother some people or that some people can be really judgmental or not understand but to me? They're literally just a normal part of my body. Maybe it comes from the fact that I've had skin picking disorder for as long as I can remember so like, scars genuinely are something I remember just always having. Idk

[bizaar]

Okay bear with me because this is an extremely specific scenario that I don’t have time to write out right now, but lately, I am obsessed with the concept of a reader who has been Dustin’s babysitter for actual years, like from elementary school on.

You’re the ultimate be-all-end-all super cool babysitter who sits and plays Atari with him, talks about comic books and Lord of the Rings, chaperones trips to the arcade and movies, and gets super into it when you step in to play an NPC in their D&D games. Dustin has had literal heart eyes for you since you first started babysitting, and probably has a secret vow that he’s going to marry you someday when he’s an adult. And then devastatingly, one day you show up gushing about this guy you met at school, how he’s really cool and funny and you think Dustin would love him because he’s into all that “nerdy fantasy stuff” and plays D&D, and that’s bad enough because you literally never stop talking about this guy, but then one day he’s gone from being just some guy you like to fully and officially your boyfriend and it’s all Dustin can do to keep from blowing his lid because who the hell does this guy think he is swooping in and stealing you like that? He’s known you for years and this guy, whoever he is, has just fully got the audacity to just ask you out? And it’s like a full year or two of Dustin having to endure listening to you gush about your stupid boyfriend, getting wildly jealous and snotty about it when you go on and on about how fun and funny and nice he is. He can’t even be too mad about it because honestly, your boyfriend does sound like a really cool guy, he even helped you plan a mini-campaign to run for the Party and it was actually super fun, despite what Mike said about it being “baby-shit”. It’s annoying because Dustin can’t deny that he’s happy you’re happy. Eventually, he can kind of start to ignore it because he’s got Suzy (and he really, really likes Suzy, but let’s face it, she’s not you). Still, really, he’s just biding his time until he’s old enough for you to take him seriously, and for you to break up with your stupid boyfriend (or for him to just die, whatever comes first).

Then one night, after you’ve graduated and right before he’s about to start High School, you show up to babysit (which is ridiculous, he’s thirteen now, WAY too old for a babysitter) and you aren’t your normally happy, self. Your eyes are all puffy and swollen like you’ve been crying, and it turns out you and your stupid jerk boyfriend finally broke up, but he can’t even be happy about it because you’re devastated, and before he knows it, suddenly Dustin is vowing to avenge your honor against the no-good son of a bitch who broke your heart, partially because he is honor bound to be the sworn enemy of anyone who makes you cry, but also because it finally makes you cheer up a little.

Then he starts school, and he meets Eddie and everything changes. He’s arguably obsessed with him, because he’s so cool and fun and funny, and he’s into all the nerdy fantasy stuff that Dustin and his friends (and you) like. He runs an awesome D&D club, and he wants to be just like him, but mostly he can’t stop thinking about how much you’d like Eddie too. Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges but he’s really truly and deeply nice. It makes Dustin happy to think about sharing his new friend with you because Dustin shares everything with you (he even told you about Eleven way back when they’d first met her and Will was still missing, but you’d scrunched up your features and told him that it wasn’t funny to joke about keeping girls in basements, so he’d made sure not to tell you about the crazy stuff with Eleven and the Upsidedown, if only to keep you safe from that super scary dangerous part of his life).

Time goes on and Dustin keeps trying to get you two together, not out of some desire to hook the two of you up, but just because he wants his friends to be friends too so that he can hang out with you at the same time, but you’re both busy with your own lives and it never ends up happening.

Then it’s spring break, and Chrissy’s dead, Eddie’s in the wind, and Dustin has vowed he’s going to help clear his name no matter what, so he goes to find you, because as an authority figure from his childhood, you’ve always had really creative solutions to seemingly impossible problems. Dustin drags the party down to the diner formerly known as Benny’s where you’ve since started working, he leans over the counter and asks conspiratorially,

“Do you know Eddie Munson?”

And suddenly your face goes steely in this bizarre, super serious way. You clench your teeth and swallow hard, and say sure, you know Eddie, (which honestly throws Dustin for a loop, how the hell do you know Eddie? All this time he’s been trying to get you two to meet and suddenly you already know the guy? What the hell?) and when pressed for your help, you agree right away, in fact, you think you know a few places where he might be hiding out. The party splits up, with you an honorary addition striking off on your own with a walkie-talkie to go turn over the few rocks you have in mind.

“How do you think she knows Eddie?” Lucas asks once you’re gone, and Dustin shrugs feeling weirdly a little jealous.

“I don’t know, they probably went to school together.”

And Max heaves a disgusted sigh, because oh my god, you guys are idiots, and she drops the take of the century on the Party.

“Morons. They used to date.” She says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “I used to see them together at the mall and stuff, making out all the time, like, super in love, it was actually really gross.”

And suddenly Dustin feels like his guts are about to drop out of him, because Eddie??? Is your super cool (ex)boyfriend??? He wants to tell himself Max is wrong, that she doesn't know what she's talking about, but suddenly there are a bunch of annoying little puzzle pieces all falling into place to make a picture of the last couple of years. He remembers seeing you get into a big shitty panel van blaring overloud rock music, you stealing away from outings at the movies or the arcade to go talk to some guy with long hair he'd never really gotten a good look at, the specific details of the D&D campaign you'd run for the Party, and how he'd thought he'd recognized minor NPCs in Eddie's own campaigns. Honestly, Dustin doesn't know how to process the information, so he stuffs it into the back of his mind and tries to forget he ever heard Max say it. It's almost impossible, especially when they finally find Eddie at Reefer Rick's, and for as relieved as he is to see him, he can't help but be ever so slightly hostile towards him, because he can't rationalize the conflicting truths he has wrestling around in his brain.

How is he supposed to be Eddie’s protector now that he knows he is the stupid shithead douchebag who broke your heart and had you sitting on his couch, crying, over the summer? The person he is sworn to protect is the same person he has sworn his mortal enemy? How does that work? Conflicting vows off honor are no good…

(anyway I’ll cut this off here because I could literally write a whole novel about this concept, it’s just giving me brain rot)   

UPDATE: Parts One and Two are up ...

[freakin-edikan]

Help Dusty Get out of Florida Fund

Hello. I'm Dusty. I moved back home with my parents after school because I couldn't afford to stay in NYC and they refused to help pay for me to stay up there while I was looking for work. My parents stress me out, it sucks and I hate it here. I'm trying to move back to NYC where 1) most of my friends are and 2) I can visit my brother more easily if I need help with something. I take commissions if you want me to draw something (please ignore the music commissions, I don't think I can do those right now) and I think my prices are pretty low. Links below, sob story under the cut

vnmo: @freakin-edikan cshapp: $freakinedikan Paypal me Commission post

My goal is $3300. 0/3300

My parents piss me the hell off and I want to leave. They say they're not stopping me from doing anything but there are so many "soft" restrictions it's basically total control. I can't leave the house because the county's transit sucks shit, I don't have a house key, and I don't have a license (and even if I did, I wouldn't have a car). I have no mental health provider so I've been rationing out my ADHD meds. But even if I did, I'd have no way to get there because I don't have a car. My dad was supposed to get me a bike with a lock but he didn't. He wants to teach me to drive but he's 1) never home bc he works (obviously? how would that work) and 2) when he tried to teach me in 2019 he wasn't helpful at all and was always yelling or almost yelling at me. But he also doesn't want me to get lessons from an outside agency. I keep getting pushed to take some retail or food service job which I know will burn me out so much I'll barely be able to focus on anything else. And I wouldn't be able to get there because I have no transportation. And because I don't clean the whole house or cook every meal I'm seen as "neglecting aspects of life." Meanwhile dad will eat up all the food and not buy groceries or he'll ask me to buy groceries. Even though I don't have an income or a car or a license. Also my dad got mad at me and did this to my door on Friday

and has the audacity to eat the food I bought for me and my friends with my own money. For my birthday. He's been eating my birthday food. Also the door no longer closes.

I am tired of having to play nice around my dad's volatile anger, which I've put up with since I was in elementary school. My parents paid for me to do a lot of things, which I appreciate. However, they also have repeatedly called me names, they interact with my hobbies with thinly-veiled contempt, they play passive aggressive when they're mad at me in front of guests, and they used to hit me all throughout K-12. They constantly frame their obligations to me as purely financial, they think they have no responsibility to be emotionally supportive or uplifting, but they also want me to baby their feelings and lie about how they treated me while accusing me of making up my mental issues for attention and sympathy. My dad keeps talking about how old and frail he is and how he could die any minute now and where I'm at is that I do not care and if/when he dies I will not be there. I'm literally sick of this behavior and they acted like this in 2019 when they were supposed to be taking care of me after I was hospitalized for attempting suicide. I'm still not over that and yet they're annoyed at me for being disorganized/scatterbrained, stressed out, and depressed.

[neoyi]

Sooooooo, obvious Pizza Tower spoilers for the final boss and stuff.

I finished Pizza Tower the other day. The game was already plenty good using anxiety and anger as a vehicle for Peppino's motivation and the situation he's been placed in. It's not just his animation, where left idle, he will nervously gesture (teeth-clattering, biting his hand, etc.); it's also the music which draws the line between smooth techno backdrops to FRANTIC FRANTIC FRANTIC, the fact that everything is literally out to get him, and the brilliant escape sequences per level that forces Peppino to haul ass or he'll DIE.

Normally, I can't stand games where you're forced to escape with a timer, but Pizza Tower feels so appropriate because it's suppose to be anxious and heart-pounding. It also helps that the game has such tight, well-defined controls. Peppino is fast, so you get a sense of speed that helps defy the clock when you're on the move, but he can also stop on a dime, so you never feel hindered from what could be a costly mistake if Peppino was a bit more loose. Not to mention the timer is often generous. Once I got a groove on the game's control schemes, the time you had to get the heck out felt marginal enough while juuuuuust a tad left over that it still left you feeling wrecked, but never frustrating.

All of this is a great, great tool to teach you for the upcoming final boss and oh my god, OH MY GOD, so rarely do I feel anything could get me pumped up as Pizza Tower does with Pizzaface.

The whole ass fight is a great demonstration of what happens when you push a man to his limits. We've seen Peppino mad, but never has he been filled with SO MUCH WRATH until now. By the time Pizzaface (quickly revealed to be Pizzahead) started bringing in the other bosses for a rush, it felt so justified when Peppino started SCREAMING with rage. He's had it, this is the fucking straw. This motherfucker and his minions had fucked with him for the

LAST. GODDAMN. TIME.

I tend to dread boss rushes (it depends), but Pizza Tower knows it. It knows because Peppino was also dreading it. No, none of this bullshit. No more. He's DONE. Other than each of the main four being truncated to a manageable level, Peppino straight up BEATS THE CRAP OUT OF THEM when he physically contacts them. FUCK THIS SHIT, FUCK EVERYTHING, he's probably thinking.

Then he proceeds to CREAM the fuck out of Pizzahead.

Pizzahead, who had the audacity to mess with his restaurant; Pizzahead, who sent wave after wave of enemies to stop this pissed off Italian; Pizzahead, who dares to put on a smile and pull off silly little pranks and other misfits during the boss fight because he's NOT taking Peppino seriously, a mistake he's paid for with several broken (cheese???) bones.

And a lot of this wouldn't have worked if the music didn't go hard. But they went hard. I'm gonna upload a Youtube link where someone compiled all three songs into one, because it just feels like the kind you have to listen to back-to-back.

This is like right up there with Final Fantasy VI's final bosses, where it had four major phases, each with their own songs, but you had to listen to all sixteen minutes of it because it just wouldn't feel right otherwise.

"Unexpectancy" is in the same boat.

The guitar riff, the rise in tension, the goddamn sampling of an old 1920s public domain song, "After You Get What You Want, You Don't Want It" by Van & Schenck (which seem appropriate given the lyrics talk about someone who can never be satisfied even after getting everything they want) - the whole ass thing is so. Damn. EPIC. And after the final fight, you have to get the hell out of the tower before it crumbles. Not just one level's worth, but the WHOLE ASS tower. Everything you've learned and hopefully mastered by this point will be tested as Peppino dashes like Sonic on drugs.

And it's so cool because you can pick up both your friends and the bosses (who, I guess, learned their lesson or something) to get the hell out (I guess the pig citizens are dead now cuz' they don't count.)

Like by the time you're outta there, you feel an IMMENSE sense of relief and satisfaction. Peppino won. YOU won. He can rest now and save his restaurant from debt (and maybe take his amlodipine while he's at it.)

Maybe because I'm so prone to anxiety myself, Pizza Tower - this silly little game - somehow ended up being not only relatable, but absolutely CATHARTIC.

It left me feeling so good by the time I finished. That a man like Peppino, where everything feels like it's out to get him (which, fair, they are), still decided that he's not going to put up with this bullshit, so he goes out and FIGHTS.

I don't think I have the strength to get all P-ranks in this game, but I'm so glad I played Pizza Tower. It was an incredibly fun, satisfying, validating experience.

[chaotic-multi-fandom]

I started young royals open to Marcus, determined not to hate on him just because he's a love interest than Whilhelm. I ended up hating him. Not because he ruined my ship or whatever the fuck, that boy was horrible and manipulative, and I'm actually so mad AND impressed at how WELL, they portrayed this kind of subtle manipulation with Marcus. He knew about everything Simon had gone through, he knew, it hadn't even been that long, and yet he very quickly approached Simon and flirted with him. At first I didn't necessarily see anything particularly wrong with this, but it did set me off slightly as it would be common sense to think that Simon probably needs space, and most importantly is in a *vulnerable* position.

However, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, he seemed sweet. But then, everything got worse, as soon as Simon told him he wasn't ready for anything sirious he said he "could wait" and that they'd "take it slow" 🚩🚩🚩🚩. NO. From the scenes with previous to this, and with the way he expresses his feelings to Marcus that he doesn't want a relationship at all rn, but with this subtle "comforting" that Marcus uses with Simon he still let's open the relationship, he's stopping Simon from ending the relationship and instead let's the door open just slightly. If he really liked Simon as much as he claimed to do, he wouldn't string him along in any type of situation where he might feel uncomfortable AND he wouldn't settle to have a type of relationship he doesn't want to, just like Simon didn't with Whilhelm when he realised he'd have to be a secret.

After that he continued to make insinuations (or directly saying) how much he likes Simon, such as when he says he only brings the dates "he really likes" to the spot he brings Simon too, only very shortly after Simon has expressed not being ready for a serious relationship, it's such a brilliant and subtle guilt tripping it grinds my teeth. Followed by the whole competition thing, in which he kisses Simon in front of the whole school.(which includes Whilhem)??? LIKE WHAT. SIMON LITERALLY JUST SAID THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAY HE WANTS, je doesn't want some big, committed public thing, yet Marcus does the opposite and you can TELL that Simon is uncomfortable in this. Yet, because Marcus went there to support him, he can't say anything.

I'm not even gonna talk much about the whole jealousy thing with Simon and Wilhelm and the ball. Simon never hid he had smth with Wilhelm and Marcus knew this, plus he knew all the drama that went around it, and yet he has the audacity to get annoyed when there's obvious tension or lingering feelings between Simon and Whilhelm. He makes Simon feel guilty for this, as if he were "playing" with Marcus' feelings, even though once again Simon was very clear about not wanting anything serious.

Finally when Simon fully breaks up with him (which he shouldn't have to do anyway, since they weren't supposed to be in an actual relationship, Marcus made him feel like he owed him this) as many manipulators tho Marcus snaps. He calls Simon all types of horrible shit, and worst of all, brings up his father (YIKES!!) a man that has traumatised Simon, and is a horribly sensitive thing in his life. He had no right. This was the moment of realisation for many people but their were so many other signs.

Anyway I'm aware a lot of this doesn't make sense, this a rant not an analysis or anything like that, it's me le letting out my frustration. Fuck Marcus

[harmonyckrs]

Act 1, Scene 2 of Twisted Veronaville: The Homosexual Supporting Cast

THE LAST PAGE

Every four years, the Summerdreams host a party and invite both the Capps and the Montys, in hopes of establishing peace. This used to be once per year, but got moved to four years after Mercutio ended up in the hospital from an especially bad fight with Tybalt.

The most recent party was a special one: Oberon and Titania have once again sworn their loyalty to each other, and Puck had his first kiss with Hermia.

Puck: Congrats on getting married again, Mom!

Titania: Thanks, dear. This party was a success, wasn't it?

Puck: Seems so! But Mercutio saw me kissing Hermia, and I think he's upset.

Oberon: You can talk to him about it, can you? Just host another party...we'll make it a boys only party, just so it won't be repetitive! How about that?

Puck: (I'm not sure if I'm a boy, though)...Sure?

And so he did. A whole new party, just to apologize to one guy.

Puck: ...And I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings.

Mercutio: You hosted another party just for this? It's not that big of a deal, Puck. I'm honestly more upset that you invited Tybalt to this than I am about the kiss.

Tybalt: I'M THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU, DUMBASS! I CAN HEAR YOU!

Puck: It's a formality. We invite at least one member from both families so none of you think we're taking sides. I've seen what Tybalt has done to the people who only align themselves with your family.

Tybalt: I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!

Mercutio: Yeah, that's fair. But in all seriousness, I'm not mad about the kiss. Sure it sucks that she didn't like me, but she chose you. I'm not going to break up our friendship over a Capp, even if it's someone cool like Hermia.

Puck: Thanks, Mercutio.

Romeo: ...Puck, I think you should've just invited Hermia and Mercutio instead of having an "all-boys party" just to have this conversation.

Tybalt: For once, I actually agree with Romeo.

Romeo: Nobody asked!

Tybalt: I'M LITERALLY ON YOUR SIDE YOU PIECE OF-

The party was a success...for Puck. As for Tybalt, he was just angry. Angrier than usual, and he needed some way to release it. But Juliette wouldn't listen to him and Consort was at work, so that left only one person.

Tybalt: And then that fucker had the audacity to talk shit about me the entire time!

Hermia: (Where the hell is Grandpa when you need him?) Okay? Why do you care so much about what Mercutio thinks of you?

Tybalt: Stop making this weird!

Hermia: I mean, you bring him up every time we talk. It feels like you constantly think about him.

Tybalt: I do!

Hermia: ...

Tybalt: ...I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!

Hermia: Sure...whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy.

And here lies the surviving sisters of the Capp family, one with many children and the other with none. But the two have something in common...

Goneril: I can't stop thinking about Bianca...

Regan: I hate her stupid glasses and her pretty face...

Goneril: I hate her stupid soft hair and lips...GAH! Why do I keep thinking about her?

Regan: She's a Monty! I can't be thinking about a Monty this way!

Goneril: I need to focus on my family!

Regan: And my job!

Goneril/Regan: And also, I'm married!

Kent: Regan, are you okay?

Regan: Kent, not right now. I'm having a crisis.

Kent: Okay, geez...

Kent: So yeah, Cornwall is insufferable. I'm thinking of moving out soon, but I don't know if I have enough money to live on my own.

Bianca: Do you want to be roommates?

Kent: Would that be weird? I'm a Capp and you're a Monty.

Bianca: Oh, I'm not worried about that! I've stopped caring about my family thinks a long time ago. And you should, too.

Kent: Well, alright! I'll see you soon.

*beep*

Antonio: Bianca, who were you talking to?

Bianca: Kent.

Antonio: That Capp guy? I told you to drop him a long time ago.

Bianca: You still care about the feud?

Antonio: Of course I did! They murdered my wife!

Bianca: And you're sure it's them, and not someone else?

Antonio: Who else would've done it?

And lying near the river that separates the Capps and Montys, lies two peculiar forces...

???: Have you found anyone worthy from the other towns?

???: There's one person. His name is Tank Grunt, from Strangetown. He's physically strong and appears noble.

???: I see. He should have no problem handling the fights in Veronaville. Will he cooperate, though?

???: I believe so. Who wouldn't want the chance to be a hero? The one who defies the fates set up by the Watcher and forges their own path?

???: I suppose you're right. Let's bring him here tomorrow...

THE NEXT PAGE

[airasora]

Ok ok ok I came across one of your older posts about Odette, where you mentioned that she had tomboyish traits and hobbies considered traditionally masculine and then she's a prim and proper lady. And that she must have been educated that way. And i fully agree but it also awakened a rant I've been thinking about for YEARS and given what you wrote i thought you may agree.

Because Derek being a terrible boyfriend has been discussed to death, correct. But can we please talk about their PARENTS? Both of them!

These two arranged a marriage when one was a toddler and the other a literal newborn. Not only without input from their children, but as the years pass, very obviously against what they want. They talk about their own children like a business transaction MULTIPLE times ('parenting and politics' referring to the wedding as a 'merger' and so on. In the Spanish version, which is the one I watched as a child, Uberta goes as far as calling it 'a wedding and a transaction'). They keep writing to each other about forcing their children to get married. Everyone and their dog could see Odette and Derek didn't want it, see chorus going 'the only point in which they didn't disagree was that the very thought of summertime was dreaded', but William and Uberta don't care. It's pretty obvious to me that William did indeed 'educate' those traits and hobbies out of Odette, and then jumps on the bandwagon of asshole toxic masculinity even further by scolding his daughter about the whole 'you're beautiful' incident with a truly callous 'what else did you want Derek to say to you?'

Uberta is passive-agressive and manipulative to a fault, and at times a downright liar, like with the whole beauty pageant and trying to trap Derek with another bride. When her son publicly offends Odette and she leaves, the only thing she bemoans is 'so many years of planning, wasted!' so she evidently also doesn't give a shit about Odette as a human being. She doesn't mourn William, who was supposedly her friend, and is annoyed and or dismissive about the ONE thing Derek is doing right, which is looking for Odette until he finds her or her body, and trying to figure out who or what killed William and his men, in so many instances i can't even quote them all. ('yes, yes, the fat animal or whatever') and insisting Derek will stop his own mourning and search (again, the ONE thing he does right) as soon as a sufficiently beautiful potential bride is put in front of him.

No bloody wonder Derek turned out like he did with role models like that! I'm surprised Odette didn't!

(also can we talk about the impressively alarming implications of Odette claiming 'I've got bruises with their fingerprints' while her father is bodily dragging her toward the carriage?!)

I absolutely 100% agree with you!

So, as a kid and a teen, I kinda just judged everyone in this movie; Odette and Derek for only falling in love when their hormones deemed each other a fine piece of ass, and William and Uberta for forcing this marriage on their children who fought against it their entire lives and then had the AUDACITY to get mad when it "didn't work out" in their favor.

Speaking of, why the hell didn't THEY get married??? Odette's mother and Derek's father are NEVER even mentioned, why didn't William and Uberta just get married? They'd get what they wanted, but I GUESS you could argue that their fellow reign wouldn't last long and they wouldn't be able to make an heir, but even then they would still have Derek and Odette and, given the time, Derek would probably become king and marry some woman and make her queen and Odette would be... I don't know, a princess?

Either way, William and Uberta could have gotten married and they would have gotten what they wanted anyway, but movie's gotta movie I guess.

I do think both Uberta and William love their children, they are just... way too far into their own goals and dreams and are forcing those on their children. I think Uberta is a little better, because even she was horrified when Derek couldn't think of anything to say about Odette except she was beautiful. You could argue she was horrified that he was ruining the potential marriage, but I'd like to think she's at the very least aware that the outcome was HER son's fault, and not Odette's.

William does try to understand Odette when they're on the carriage on their way home, but - and this is gonna sound sexist - he's a stupid man and doesn't see why being called beautiful isn't enough x'D

Sidenote: One of my favorite lines in any cartoon ever is Rogers saying: "You should write a book; how to offend women in five syllables or less." Also, when Derek loses the queen in chess and he says: "That's twice in one day." The movie is horrendously flawed, but damn does it has some funny lines every now and then xD

And yes, Odette was 100% "designed" to be a proper lady so she could become more likeable to Derek and be what society deemed a good woman. I like that the only hobby we really see her have once she's grown a bit is that she reads, but... that book could be anything. Let's say it's one she's reading for fun though; then that begs the question WHY is reading the hobby she latches onto as a teenager?

A lot of people who loves to read (I'm one of them) say that one of the reasons they love reading books is that they can transport you somewhere else and forget your own worries for a while. I could see that being Odette's reason for reading. Not only is it "calm" and not too tomboyish, but it also gives her an escape from reality. Kinda like Belle, we all know she needed an escape badly as well.

Reading though, also, wasn't considered ladylike. Or rather, why would a woman need to read? Why would she have to be intelligent? That wasn't what a woman's purpose was! So I think you could argue that MAYBE William allowed this one hobby as it was something that could be "hidden". Meaning, let's say she climbed a lot of trees as a kid. We see her running around and fighting a lot, but this would not only make her seem unladylike, it would also be a visual bother. Reading, despite it being "a waste of time", does not make her look less beautiful and composed. It's not a downright bad thing that she's reading, it's just useless for William's plans for his daughter.

Also... YES!

"I got bruises with their finger prints."

Someone WROTE THAT and was like: Yeah, let's put that in a kids movie 🤪

[rollercoasterwords]

okay, so. i was just thinking about the thing people do, when they sort of confuse triggers and squicks

like, a squick is something you don't like, or feel disgusted by, right? and so some people are saying they're triggered by this or that, when they actually just don't like it?

i think it's got something to do with the fact that nowadays, 'triggered' is used as synonymous as 'mad'. like, obviously not everyone does it. but the younger generation, especially, they do use it that way, and they just throw around the word triggered when they're actually just mad, like, 'i triggered someone' or as a sneer, when someone's mad, like, 'oh, he's triggered!'

maybe that's why the meaning's sort of lost, now. because people are confusing the two. and there's also the thing where people confuse critical thinking with criticism, and it's not the same thing, but at it's core it's just. people being ignorant.

a lot of problems today are caused by ignorance, actually. and unwillingness to educate themselves. and also audacity and entitlement.

yeah unfortunately i think problems being caused by ignorance is not new lol

but i agree that the word 'triggered' has been stripped of a lot of its weight in a way that is....not great. it's interesting because i think it actually started with older generations of people going "ugh look at these millenial/gen-z snowflakes getting triggered" and making fun of what was previously a very necessary and useful term and then that sort of devaluing of its weight combined with its simultaneous colloquial spread has now led to the term becoming something that is thrown around a lot more casually to the point that i definitely do think some people don't understand the difference between being upset by something and being triggered by something.

and honestly that does bother me because it makes it more difficult for people who are actually dealing with triggers to be taken seriously. like i am very happy to be at a point in my life where i don't get triggered easily, but there was a time when i was dealing with some shit and would often get triggered by things that seemed totally innocuous to the people around me, and i literally didn't feel like i could say "sorry that's triggering for me" because i'd get laughed at or have people roll their eyes. like it felt embarrassing to me to try to talk about a very real and serious experience that was severely impacting my mental health and emotional wellbeing because it had been memed so heavily. so....yeah. i do wish more people understood that "triggered" isn't just a blanket term for "all emotional distress" and is rather a term that is typically linked to past traumatic experiences or like...specific manifestations of mental illness, and not just anything that makes u feel bad in the moment. i have encountered things that have made me feel extremely, viscerally upset, but still have not been triggering to me, y'know? there's a difference between those two things

[incarnateirony]

Thanks for replying to my ask. The pink highlight I just accidentally highlighted those words when I was trying to correct my grammar and I couldn't bother correcting it. And via ex yea see sounds like some thing 🚩hopefully in the near future she fully seperates herself or she no longer becomes a thought in your brain. It's always weird to talk abt something like via anon but I wanted top send my sentiment and yea ( I also never know how to finish a sentence when I'm somewhat talking about something personal lol it's always the 'and yea'

No, it's fine. staying anon is better. She intentionally sniffs around for places I hang our or people I talk to, to try to maliciously worm gradual drama and horse shit into miscellaneous rings. She did it in SPN fandom. She tried to do it to my tabletop group but got lost on the way and got stonewalled at a furry art server, didn't catch the hint nobody would say where john was, who she was looking for, because she was mad to hear he and I were hanging out again after she broke up and so on. Just like the guy she cried to she expected to forget how she treated him like SHIT a decade ago in a nearly identical situation so. Yeah it's. It's a mess. Stay private, lest you have the world's whiniest honey badger trying to bring her 3 year old ex relationship failures into your inbox and not understanding how she looks apeshit.

I generally ignore her, but she's like a fucking disease. Every 3 months or so either something happens like she's sending her piss ant whiny boyfriend to bother my blog cuz I made the cardinal sin about breathing she ever existed 9 months ago, or a whole 3 months later is again acknowledged and starts this shit up. Then she has the audacity that, now that her ass is borderline nearly literally on fire, post some "what do you want little one, your peace or your ego?" Fucking the first one, you little shit, but you won't get off my dick to stop pumping it, and ignoring her for three years hasn't given me peace, it's just made her more and more brazen and I dare say intentionally offensive while she treats serious things like an RPG, so it's time to do what needs to be done to get that fucking peace.

[lapismoontide]

Full of Rage

I'm trying not to go off and say things to someone that I don't mean, so I've came here to unleash the beast within.

I am so angry right now.

It seems like nothing goes right for me.

It's the same constant loop of events that happen over and over and over again in my life, and I am so utterly sick and tired of it.

The man I'm with is 2 years older than me. We have been together for 17 years, and it's been nothing but a gigantic struggle the whole entire fucking time.

When will it change?

That's something I constantly ask myself.

Have I tried to do things to make change happen? Oh yeah, that's all I seem to do. Cater to someone in the idea that if I do this different things will change. If I walk lightly, he won't be angry. If I don't say what I think, he won't be mad at me. I'm so fucking sick of this shit. It's so much, I can't even put it all into words. It all always comes out jumbled making no sense to anyone who would read it I'm sure.

So what we have been trying to work on for more than a fucking decade is working. Hahahaha!! Literally, just keeping a fucking job. That's it.

I've worked before, and I am unemployed at the moment. Yeah, I could work. However, every time I do work, my man thinks that he can just quit his job. He thinks that if I am working, there's no reason for him to work. I'll take care of him, his basic needs will be met. He will have a roof over his head, water to wash his ass with, food to eat, internet to play his games on, power to use all utilities, a phone to make calls and talk to women behind my back on, a car to use, gas to put in the car; I could go on and on and on and on.

He thinks that I should work, clean the house, take care of the animals, pay all of the bills (and worry about all of the bills), buy all of the food, cook all of the food; basically do every mother fucking thing there is to do. Take care of him like a mother would take care of a fucking child, and I'm tired of doing it.

So I told him that he can fucking work, and I'll do the rest of it. Which is a fair deal if you really really think about it. If I had to just work, just go to work and that's it? Oh my god, that would be a fucking dream to me. I would absolutely love to just work and not have to worry about a damn thing. Wouldn't you?

How much better of a deal can you fucking get?

He got a job working for a tree company about 9 months ago now. Maybe more. He stayed at this job which was actually astonishing to me, b/c before now he's literally quit every single job for the past decade. Even the tree job, he worked (out of town) the first week having to room with another person (male of course) in a hotel. The hotel was paid for, they gave them $120 a week for food, and they only worked four days out of the week. He comes home after the first week, and says he's not going back. Meanwhile at home, we are drowning. Barely hanging on. Having broken payment promises to every bill company (multiple payment agreements), and he has the audacity to say he is going to quit his job. Knowing that he is the only thing that is keeping us going. So we get into this huge argument, and I basically tell him that I will sign one of my cars over to him if he quits and he can take his first and only check, and leave. B/c I can barely take care of myself, I can't take care of me and him when I have no job, and I'm the only one trying to figure out ways to keep food on the table. Fuck the bills, just food is hard to buy.

However, he ends up going back to the job. Stomping and bitching like a teenager would when you make them go to school, but he goes. So when he leaves this time, he finds out that he is going to be put on a new crew. A crew with a woman as the new foreman b/c they had a crew wreck due to lack of sleep. The old foreman who was driving drove into a sign on the interstate, and it cut his head off. So they appointed this girl that had worked for them for a few months as the foreman b/c idk if you guys know this, but most tree crews like to hire drug addicts with no license. So the only person who had a license that had worked the 90 day probation period was this woman. So she needed at least one person on her crew, and they sent my man b/c he was the newest employee. I thought that this would actually work out b/c my man doesn't get along with any other men, never has. So I knew that him working with a woman, he'd fit right in. He did just that. Never complained about his job ever again. There's a lot to this whole story, I'll tell it another time. Right now however, we're talking about something else.

So he works for this company through his probation period. The lady foreman ends up getting fired, and the only person in the whole company with a license was my man, so he was appointed foreman of that crew. A lot of stuff happens in-between this time, but he stays at the job. Loves it like he's loved no other job. It was b/c he could stay gone all week long, only live at home 2 days out of the week, and do whatever he wanted the rest of the time. He ends up getting fired b/c he was driving the company truck and wasn't supposed to (on his off time). The supervisor actually had told him he could drive it whenever (I heard him). BUT they had a new company take over, and like I said a lot of shit happened. The supervisor threw him under the bus. Acted like he didn't say he could drive, and so he got fired for doing it. That was wrong, I will admit that.

When he comes home, he starts looking for jobs. Says he is older now, says we won't go through the same shit we had been going through prior to him getting this job. Asked me to just trust him, have faith in him. So I did.

He ends up asking that same company for a job in the company in any position. They actually took him back. When the time comes for him to leave tho, he doesn't go. I told him he needed to go, b/c he can't work factory jobs. He can't work any job where he lives at this house and has to go to it every day. He can't do it b/c I am here, and when I'm here he isn't independent. He relies on me too much. Acts like I am his mother too much. I told him what would happen is he would start getting mad about waking up, or mad about me not getting up with him and shit like that. I told him that he'd start bitching and crying, and blaming me for "making him go to work". I stg it reminds me so much of a teenage boy crying to their mama. I told him he needed to take the out of town job. He promised me he wouldn't do all of that stuff. He's "changed". Okay, so I trusted him like he asked me to.

He gets a job with another tree crew, but this one is local. He doesn't take it b/c it's $15 a hour and he was getting paid $24 a hour at the other job. He doesn't understand that he was using almost $500 each week for himself out of town, so basically making $15 a hour is equivalent to the $24 since he's not out of town having to use all of the extra money.

He turns down that job. Says he has another job lined out. He did, and he got the job. This job paid $30+ a hour. Highest paying job in this area, and we are about 5 minutes from the job location. Really great! He works there one week, and then doesn't go the next. Does a no call no show for four days. Tells me he has been given another tree job. Out of town to the same area, just with a different company. Okay, but he didn't even ask what they pay, will he have to room with people, etc. He just impulsively quit the best paying job he can get here, to go with a company he doesn't even know anything about. He just assumes they pay more than the last tree company. He was wrong.

A day before the time comes for him to leave, he tells me that he "doesn't want to leave me". I got so fucking mad, I saw red. You have to understand how frustrating this shit truly is. Then he finds out this company pays $20 a hour, and yes he WILL have to have a room mate. Greatttttt! He tells me he can get the job back with the other company. I didn't believe that, and I told him he needed to go to the tree job.

He agreed, so the time comes for him to leave. I go to the store to get him a few things for his travels. He messages me when I get to the store, and tells me he's told the boss he's not leaving for the tree job. He messaged his job that he did the no call no show at, and they said they'd give him ONE MORE CHANCE.

Okay, I didn't bitch about it none. I just said okay, I trust you.

He goes back to the good paying job. Works a week, and now this week he worked one day, went the next day and worked about a hour and come home. Then today, he quit. Did another no call no show. Great job! He still hasn't provided me with a reason as to WHY THE FUCK he's done this shit.

I told him he needs to go see a fucking doctor because something is fucking wrong with him. He is 34 years old. He shouldn't be acting like this.

I don't expect anyone to fully take care of me. I am fully capable of doing it myself. It pisses me off however when a grown ass MAN thinks that a woman should take care of him, take care of everything, and then still be in a "womanly" role when she's in the bedroom. Fuckkkkkk noooooooo. You put me in a mans role, and I'm going to be in that mentality. Sorry, I don't want to fuck you when I'm taking care of every damn thing there is to take care of. You're like my child at that point anyway, and who wants to touch their son in that way? Get what I am SAYING??????

It makes me the most mad b/c when he quits like this, doesn't prepare, doesn't have any money saved, doesn't have any resources, nothing. What does he do? He expects me to take care of everything. With no job, and I do it. I am getting sick of doing it tho. It's a lot easier to do everything myself on my own. Without a man child hanging on to my tit. He has a mother. She won't take care of him either, but I'll tell him this. That is where he will be going if he doesn't provide a source of income for HIMSELF asap.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? Idk!

[thegravityblog]

This day last year, she was holding me tight on a cliff, she hugged me tight, kissed me, made love to me and then?

Pushed me off the cliff. For her own self centeredness. I’ll never forget those restless days and nights when I was looking for her like a mad man. Desperate, crying, all day all night, drenched in heroin and meth.

And guess what? She was happily celebrating my nemesis. She was happily fucking another man, while all those nights I was blaming myself for everything, where she from the very beginning was cheating on me. Lying to me looking in my eyes. Every single day.

I never heard back from her. I never received an apology. People who are like this, will always have a victim theory. Yes I mistreated her sometimes but I didn’t deserve this. Such a pathetic human being, such low standards that then she has the audacity to be in front of me, and still never reaching out.

I have grown out of those moments. I am not there, but still thinking about those months when every night I was awake, crying, restless and hoping for death, sends a shiver down my spine.

I overdosed on 23rd July 2022. Smoked meth more than a person should, hoping to get a heart attack. My blood pressure and pulse went above the roof, I was put on tranquillisers, my parents saved me.

Lost weight, stopped eating. But then I diverted all this energy into building my businesses and that in the end saved my life. I saw death so closely, and thought no, its not worth it. My work, my 1st love - tech literally saved my life. I worked day and night, as I couldn’t sleep, the only thing I did, was building my company and generating revenue.

Again, guess what? She got married and had numerous affairs as well. :) She couldn’t care more.

I started hating people. For 10 months I tried again and again, desperately to talk to her and she always made fun of me and denied her identity: “I am not that girl”. More gaslighting, more manipulation while all the time being with someone else in the bed.

Do you think I will ever want to forgive this human being? Never. I forgave myself for not taking care of myself. I forgave myself for getting manipulated, lied to, cheated on, for trying to take my life. I forgave myself for looking for her when she changed her number and blocked me from everywhere. I forgave myself for not listening to the warnings, and for hoping this person will understand the love behind my anger and change.

She then smeared my reputation by making more false stories. I took a step back and analyzed that this person and her surroundings are not even on my level. Why am I getting affected?

Yes it was difficult to let go of those feelings because I really loved her a lot. She knew it, and she pushed me off the cliff because she knew, I would still love her.

But now, she’s even worse I forgave myself and moved on. I will never forget the way I was treated and played. I know my higher power has took a record of this, and she will get what she has done. But it took me a year to get out of those demons, while all the time she was spending days and nights with other men, treating me like shit.

Babe, you will definitely get one day all of this back with interest because unlike you I don’t take false swears. And I swear my heart was pure and god knows that. He’s just giving you the ground to feel invincible before he crashes you on your face just like you did to me.

For you, playing with innocent hearts might be a game but remember, every player gets played and every dog has its day. You’ve given me insurmountable pain, just for pointing your bad deeds out.

The day you’ll crash is the day my face and my eyes, you loved them, no? (Fake)

Everything will haunt you. Mark my words! :)

Cheers to this experience 🥂

[whysojiminimnida]

I'm Still On That Rolling Stone Shoot

Because sometimes, closets suck no matter how golden they are.

I loved @kanmom51 's post about this shoot last night and reposted it here but I COULD NOT STOP THINKING SO HERE WE ARE.

The photoshoot, in case you're a baby ARMY or missed it, was for BTS' Rolling Stone cover last year and the actual shot they were working on was from this set:

And we got the right side of the above video first. Cute lil jikook just jikooking, no big deal. I could be wrong, but I think the video above was taken between shots that were meant to be more than the single pic on the couch above - and WE DON'T HAVE OTHER STILLS THAT I CAN FIND from this part of the shoot. If you have other published ones, hit me with 'em. I want the full set. Because now Memories 2021 has been released online and arrived at a mailbox or two and Peaches got to work (wisely not translating a damn thing this year, GOOD FOR HER) and THIS HAPPENED

Kids, this is not a gay-panicky little Koo like we have seen in years past. This man has been warned to move his tattooed, ring-finger-bared hand, out of frame or at least out of view. AND HE IS PISSED OFF.

And I took screen shots. Hi, Hobi in the blue shirt! Hey, Taehyung totally off camera on the couch!

Everything was fine until that second, when someone - maybe Jimin, but possibly off-camera - told Koo to change position, I think. He was literally JUST TALKING and ...

"...oh here we go with the homophobic bullshit AGAIN..." he seems to be thinking.

Say what you want about Jeon Jungkook but he usually does what Jeon Jungkook wants, goddammit, unless or until his job or his man puts on the brakes.

He cannot believe the audacity. Tell a grown ass free human to unhand his own spouse, what kind of heinous fuckery is this? He no longer wants to even LIVE IN THIS UNFAIR WORLD /yoongi AND HE IS DISPLEASED. Not scared. Not "oopsie". This is Rage Against The Homophobia Machine Koo and we have seen it before, albeit usually a bit more defiant and less "oh FML I hate my job today".

So he moves his hand. As directed. But he is NOT happy about it and he does not care who knows. Now, remember, this is a very short clip. Five seconds. So what I am doing here is essentially expression and movement analysis and what you want to do, as soon as you can, is WATCH ORIGINAL CONTENT FOR TRUTH AND CONTEXT. Got it? We do that in this house because we are not insane shippers who have to make up things. As soon as the code hits my mailbox I will publish the entire segment so we can all see it together. Until then, this is what we have.

Now, Jimin is also annoyed, make no mistake. But he has two advantages here that JeiKei does not. One is camera angle - Jimin has a 90-degree angle to play with and it turns into a near 140 away from the camera. I think he went that way because of 2) his facial control. Which even he was losing. Normally Jimin's face never changes. Major reactions during actual posed shoots are unusual for him, but look at their posture. AND LOOK AT JEIKEI'S FACE.

Jiminie's gotta be feeling the tension from Jungkook. He is not unaware that his man is MAD. I mean, it's fast, but I promise you, whoever is behind those cameras is well aware. We got the pout. We have a full on side eye. We have malicious compliance.

And we have the gayest eye roll I have seen in a minute, as he flips that hand SO WE STILL SEE THE TATTOOS.

Jimin obliges by adjusting, but Jungkook is a professional model as well as a professional everything else. Nobody in BTS is ignorant of light, angle or pose in a shoot. They all know exactly what to do to get the shot they want. But they are also human. Not robots, not objects, not pretty chess pieces on a board. They're men. And two of those men have had just about enough of being told how much they can show. One of them in particular, in this moment, is OVER THIS CLOSETED SHIT. Praise Jesus for a Hobi knee, the man needs a headrest.

I don't know when, or if, they'll ever be able to come out, entirely. But this is one time when the closet walls appear to be feeling just a little too tight.