#and he grew to understand that it’s actually ALWAYS necessary…except at the very end

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: sacrifice / self sacrifice / slight suicidal themes / death mention / ]

I personally think that Leo took the wrong lessons from the movie. I definitely think he grew to understand the importance of teamwork and making sure he takes others into account so as to not harm them by proxy of whatever scheme he has cooked up, however based on the ending events I’m not quite certain he fully grasped two things.

The first thing is communication. Oh, he can communicate, and he does, when he deems it necessary. When he’s setting up a plan prior to the action. But this is where the second thing comes in.

The second thing I don’t think Leo truly grasped is “it’s not about you.” It’s so unbearably easy to take that the wrong way, especially when taking the rest of the series into account.

What I believe Leo took from this message is not “it’s not just you, everyone matters and can contribute, can help and be helped” but “put the whole of everyone above yourself” which can both be a good lesson…and a fatal one.

And it is fatal, we see as much in the movie.

Even after the big hope speech, when Leo is “fighting” Krang!Raph, he takes a huge risk. Sure, it worked, and Leo managed to get through to Raph through a well deserved apology, but it could have so easily ended in his death and yet he barely even hesitates to go for it.

And then again, to the big scene at the end, where Leo sacrifices himself not only for the sake of his family, but for the whole world.

To him, that’s the message to take from this. That the lives of everyone, of the greater good, matters…more than him. That the risk to himself is worth it if others can be saved.

Leo learned that gambling with his life as the betting chip is always the best move to make in the end.

And to make matters worse…this thinking is what works.

These risks are ultimately what is needed to save the day, so why would Leo look away from it now? Clearly it’s the right move and everything worked out!

Thing is, Leo did grow from the events of the movie. He learned to take things more seriously and be more mature, he learned to value his team’s input and capabilities enough to rely on them more, and he learned to be less self-centered and realize the turmoil others were going through (especially if that turmoil is a result of his actions.)

But still, he’s grown to accept the gamble of his life as a viable answer to their problems.

Personally, with how Leo has been shown to toy around with the idea of “it’s better me than them” I think this goes beyond sacrifice in the name of love or even sacrifice in the name of responsibility, and pushes over into sacrifice in the name of worth.

[ellestra]

Even the Evil Witch loved her son

The moment I realised the song was just something Nicky made with the help of his mum (Agathe truly is the source of all Witch lore, isn't she?) it all started falling into place. I knew what was going to happen to that first witch who asked her about The Road because this is exactly what she was trying to do at the beginning. Just provoke the witches to blast her with their power so she could steal it.

The montage still helped to understand what Agatha knew and when she knew it. And since she knew The Witches Road was never real she also knew there was some very powerful magic involved when it actually appeared. Reality altering one. So of course she figured out who Billy was. It only took a while because when she last met him he wasn't real. But maybe that made him the realest to Agatha because he made himself real.

And of course that what makes Rio so aggravated. She is cycle of life and he is not part of it. Made of magic and never really born and can't truly die. And then he take William Kaplan's death away from her too. And one more kid too. Boys die sometimes and Death doesn't like when they also continue to live. But for Agatha this is exactly the kind of "fuck you" she wanted to give to Rio.

I love that the show didn't try to make Agatha a good person. This wasn't a redemption story. She hasn't changed. She doesn't care about other people. She kills other witches and doesn't even bother to remember normal people (neither Sharon Davis nor Tommy's names stick to her mind). She just has this one weak spot because she loved unconditionally and selflessly once. And Billy kind of fits into that hole. Even if she hates showing him that.

She resents him because he survived when Nicholas couldn't. Because he is just as his mother who defeated and bound her and actually has power to hurt her. And because her son was exact opposite - she didn't use any magic to make him and that's all that Billy was.

But she cares because Billy is everything Agatha wanted her son to be when he grew up. And because she sees herself in him. Someone who was cursed with power so great it ends up hurting those around him even when he doesn't mean it. Someone who was failed by his own mother because she didn't understand what she created. And just like her he doesn't give up. He fights to live when all the odds are stocked against him. Even if that means death.

I still am not sure what planting that dandelion seed was supposed to accomplish. Except for being a metaphor on Nicky's ephemeral life gone too soon. But I loved Rio telling her the truth Lillia understood - you can't escape death. It will always come, it's only a question of time. No matter if it's just a few short years or centuries. In the end Agatha understood it too and went to the other side. Where she no longer has to worry about Death following her. She has her rebirth as something new.

Agatha once offered Wanda to be her teacher but there was too many possible double crosses in that offer. And Wanda couldn't admit to herself she was a bad guy too. I loved that the season kept reminding us how horrific what she did to people of Westview was. Good intention is what read to hell is paved with.

That this level of power is not something that can be wielded safely. Believing you have full control over it is the fastest way to lose it. And it so easy to justify to yourself that you only did what was necessary. That you didn't mean it. And it's OK. And then it's so hard to stop. Wanda almost didn't.

Billy already knows what it means to kill his own coven for a made up story. Just because he wanted it to be real so much. And maybe it is better to learn on other people's mistakes. Even if your teacher is the Evil Witch.

[writerfae]

Hi! I just remembered that you said Valentin was Talon's ex, and could I get more details on this?

Also, I wanted to ask what Aiden and Maya's friendsip is like because I know at least a little about Aiden's relationships with everyone else except her!

Hey there! It’s funny, I don’t even exactly remember how i came up with the thing with Talon and Valentin tbh, but I think it’s a neat little detail about Talon and the opportunity for jokes is too good to miss. And maybe I also wanted to state that Aiden is his type without saying it oops

Valentin is pretty much Talon’s ex-affair. They weren’t exactly dating, just flirting for fun and hooking up from time to time.

The two know each other from guard training (Val was in his third year when Talon was in his first). They are friends, if not really close ones (Talon insists they are mainly acquaintances) and they hang out with the same people.

Their whole *ahem* arrangement started on a night out with some other guards from their friend group when Talon was at the end of his second year in training.

Pretty much just your typical “hey we’re drunk and you’re attractive so let’s have some fun” kind of story.

And they came to the agreement to just keep having fun together, at least once in a while.

Valentin wasn’t looking for anything serious cause he’s in love with his childhood best friend, Talon didn’t want anything serious because he was afraid of attachment, so they were both fine with it

Now you might wonder why Talon did that. Truth is, he is just about as touch-starved as Aiden and Valentin was his type (brown-haired idiot) so that’s why. Also with Val in love with someone else there was a smaller risk of him wanting something serious with Talon.

They broke it off only a short time before the story starts, Talon actually encouraged Val to try and win over his crush. He was too busy for an affair anyway

.

Aiden and Maya are really cute together, they develop a very good friendship that I love to think about.

In the story Maya is a great support, she’s helping through small things. For example, she talks Talon into helping Aiden and helps him with his dream about the deer.

I think Aiden greatly appreciates her.

Right from the start Maya understands him in a way the other two don’t, since she too grew up in the human world and only later came to the other real.

She sympathizes with Aiden because of the strange situation he finds himself in. Plus, she likes him.

Aiden likes her right from the start too, because she’s nice and explains a lot about the realm to him. She grounds him a bit, you could say, cause she’s someone who knows how he feels.

The thing is that Maya actually grew up in Aiden’s neighborhood village and the two have actually met as children a couple times, though none of them remember it.

Aiden’s mother was one of Maya’s mom’s customers on the monthly market and Aiden sometimes accompanied her to her trips to the neighborhood village’s market.

So they have a mini past with each other, which is cute.

I can’t even quite explain why I do, but I feel like Aiden and Maya match the best personality-wise. I think they’ll become pretty close.

They seem like two people that can enjoy the other’s company without talking necessary, but who at the same time have great late night talks with each other.

I like to joke that Maya is at least a little in love with Aiden and I think she just might be, just more on the platonic level rather than a romantic one.

For Aiden she’s almost like a little sister, they have a very sibling like bond (though that’s mostly in my head, these relationships grow with time so idk how much of it is present in the story itself).

I hope that answered your questions ^^ I apologize for the late reply, this week is pretty rough. That only makes me more excited about getting asks from you though, cause those are always a nice surprise after a stressful day at work. So thanks for that! :)

[obi-wkenobi]

an obikin fic in which Obi is pining (and is hopelessly in love) with Anakin from afar but he thinks he is too old and that Anakin deserves only the best but Obi has his happy ending

Hi anon, thanks for this! I hope the below fic is something you had in mind. 😊

Anakin was next on the Council’s agenda, and from the hastily written report they had received hours before, the meeting was unlikely to be a quick one. They hadn’t seen each other in weeks, what with Anakin mostly touring the outer rim and himself left on Coruscant. It wouldn’t do well for the other Council members to know, but Obi-Wan had missed him. He missed them. The Team.

And if Obi-Wan missed Anakin more than was entirely appropriate, then only he would ever know. There was no need to embarrass himself after all.

Sweat and dust darkened Anakin’s robes as he walked into the chamber, his curls plastered to the back of his neck and usually golden skin a chestnut brown. Tivol was a hot world, Obi-Wan recalled dumbly, with scorching heat that rivaled Tatooine’s, and Force, if possible, it had made Anakin even more beautiful.

The sight of him hit Obi-Wan hard, both by the frantic thud of his old heart and the deep and low drum below his belt, sparking adrenaline in his veins like the crackle of an electroblade. He shook his head, urgently trying to gather his wits after having them knocked out of him due to the simple sight of his former Padawan.

“Masters,” Anakin said, bowing respectfully and casting them a small smile, his eyes lingering on Obi-Wan.

“Knight Skywalker,” Master Windu said, “the Council is glad that you have returned, your report was most...brief in its detailing about your success on Tivol.”

Anakin flushed, the red tint wonderfully darkening his cheeks even more. “My apologies, I was too engaged with the mission whilst there and only remembered the report on my way back.”

Oh, Anakin, he thought fondly, chucking his erstwhile Padawan an exasperated look and privately delighting in watching Anakin squirm as a result.

Master Windu leaned forward, disappointment written plainly on his face. “You forgot?!”

Anakin’s face went from endearingly embarrassed to outright irate, turning a telltale purple as his anger grew. That wasn’t what Obi-Wan wanted to see. Anakin had had a difficult few weeks, he didn’t deserve to be reprimanded so soon upon his return.

“No harm has come from it, surely, Master?” Obi-Wan interrupted softly, stubbornly keeping his composure as Master Windu’s deep brown eyes settled upon him rigidly. “Anakin can add to the report today if necessary.”

A few seats down from him, a baritone chuckle sounded. “Knight Skywalker, your former Master has come to your defence once again. He does that quite a bit you know,” Master Plo observed.

Obi-Wan spluttered, indignant. “I do not.”

“Don’t you?” Master Windu asked, an eyebrow arched knowingly.

Now it was his turn to blush, except when he did so his face turned awfully red and splotchy. Charming on someone as lively and youthful as Anakin, but utterly demoralising on an older man like him.

Anakin peered at him with an odd intrigue in his sharp blue eyes. “Do you?”

“I-I…” he fumbled, victim to a verbal ineptitude that he very rarely experienced.

Apparently, Anakin found that amusing. Those enigmatic eyes shined with mirth and a mischievous smile settled on his face, no doubt delighting in the flustering of his usually impervious former Master.

“Perhaps I am guilty of doing so on occasion,” Obi-Wan admitted reluctantly.

It was worth it. Anakin ducked his head shyly, coyly looking at Obi-Wan from beneath long, golden lashes. They stared at one another intensely for what felt like an infinite moment. Each agonising second made him hot all over, heat making his vision hazy, and he fought every instinct telling him to go to Anakin. To pull him into his arms and to bite at that full bottom lip.

But he wouldn’t. Anakin didn’t want him like that, why would he? There were others who could give him what Obi-Wan could not. Younger, better, people who were able to give him everything that he deserved.

“Perhaps you can tell me about those occasions over dinner?”

What?—

Obi-Wan’s wandering gaze snapped back to Anakin’s face. Embarrassment had returned, but there was also the familiar hardness of determination. Had Anakin really just said that? Was Anakin flirting with him? Right here, in the Council chamber—

“Force help me,” Master Windu suddenly muttered. “Can we please get back to the mission report?”

Obi-Wan slowly turned to look at him, face beet red and mortified by what had just transpired. He rubbed a grounding hand through his coarse beard. “Of course, Master.”

Throughout the remainder of the meeting, Obi-Wan kept his eyes firmly planted anywhere but on Anakin, convinced that should their gazes meet then he would do something horribly inappropriate. Just when exactly had he become this man? Wildly passionate and besotted with a man who could enchant him with his insufferable teasing and his loud, booming laugh.

Oh, how Obi-Wan ached to hear that laugh. It had been too long since he had enjoyed the thrill of Anakin’s company.

By the time the Council adjourned for the day, Obi-Wan had mostly been able to purposefully forget what had occurred hours earlier. So sure that he had misinterpreted Anakin’s request, and certain it was only a result of his own hopeless longing, Anakin wanting him in return never being a possible explanation.

“It’s about time.”

Frowning, Obi-Wan finished standing from his Council chair and turned to Master Plo. “Excuse me?”

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure, but he thought the Jedi Master was grinning beneath his mask. “I said it’s about time. That doesn’t mean I want to hear about all the sordid details in the morning though, Master Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan gaped at him. Sordid details? About what? “I’m afraid I still don’t understand, Master.”

Yes, Obi-Wan thought, the Jedi Master was definitely smiling, he could see the recognisable creases by his eyes now.

His gleeful reply also gave him away, “Go and get him, Master Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan stared after him as he walked away. Go and get him, Obi-Wan repeated to himself as he made his way to his quarters. What in the galaxy did that mean? Today had been one of the strangest in recent memory. Force, what was he even going to say when he next saw Anakin?

His quarters should have been dark when he entered, but they weren’t, something was...flickering?

What in the Force—

The room was lit by a slew of candles placed around the dining room, light blinking alongside the subtle shifts in the air. The room looked remarkably serene, the candles backlit by Coruscant’s sunset providing hues of a dusty orange-pink. On the table was some food, steam rising from plates, and a bottle of red wine placed in the middle.

Alderaanian wine—Obi-Wan’s favourite.

“Hello there, Master.”

Obi-Wan swivelled to look at Anakin, the alluring lines of his body resting deliberately casually against the kitchen counter, surveying Obi-Wan with a nervous, but amused smile tilted on his lips.

“Hello, Anakin,” he croaked. “What’s all this?”

“Dinner,” Anakin said, grinning when Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I can see that,” he retorted, voice dry and fond. “Why is there dinner, and err—” he blushed furiously, hoping that the darkness hid it, “candles.”

“Because I said that we should have dinner together.”

Obi-Wan tugged at his beard, thinking. “No, you asked if we could.”

Anakin sighed, naked, frustrated affection sitting on his face. “Details, Master.”

Obi-Wan hummed and continued stroking his beard, trying to calm the pounding of his heart. He observed the situation again, considering the impossible...Anakin was not known for subtlety, perhaps...Anakin wanted him? Maybe Anakin was trying to tell him something.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. “Anakin—”

Before he could say more, Anakin smiled at him, almost shyly, before walking up to him, and then...then—

Anakin’s lips were on his. They fit together as he had always imagined they would, their lips slanting together and meeting with an intoxicating heat. Obi-Wan wound one hand to cup his head, fingers threading through dishevelled locks, the other hand falling to his lower back, pulling him close. Their lips parted at the instinctive pressure, their tongues slipping into each other’s mouths. Anakin moaned obscenely, the sound more erotic than his wildest dreams.

Eventually, Obi-Wan gathered enough awareness to break the kiss with a wet sound. “Anakin—what?”

“Master,” Anakin panted, the honorific making Obi-Wan groan indecently, “I can’t believe how oblivious you are.”

Obi-Wan scoffed. “I resent that—”

Anakin laughed and kissed the underside of his jaw. “It’s true.”

“I just…” he murmured against bitten lips, “I never thought you would be interested in an old man like me.”

Anakin’s brows furrowed. “You’re not old.”

“I’m sixteen years your senior, Anakin.”

“So? That doesn’t bother me, I’ll want you even when you’re actually old.”

“Hmm,” Obi-Wan sighed, gently biting at the hollow of Anakin’s throat. “You might not feel that way when you’re older and you meet someo—”

Anakin jerked his head back up and kissed him again, desperate and deep. “No,” he stressed, “I want you, I’ve wanted you for years, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows jumped at that. Years? His observation skills clearly needed improving.

“Do you believe me?” Anakin asked, pulling back to look at him.

Futilely, he looked for any indication of deception. It was pointless, want and need sat as clear as day on Anakin’s face.

“I do.”

Anakin surged against him, pressing their mouths together once more, and the both of them smiled in delight as their dinner lay forgotten.

[bonesandquills]

Two Sides (Darkiplier x Reader, Part One)

Warning: Angsty fluff. I took waaaay to many liberties with this story, but I hope you guys like it.

No specific gender, I think. If you see something that changes that please let me know and I'll fix it!

You had been living in the manor for quite a while now. How you got there was a matter up for debate, but debate among the inhabitants of this place usually ended with an injury and some blood. You assumed you had wandered in, but you didn't quite remember...

In any case, that didn't matter. You were as much a part of this place as Dark, Wilford, Yancy, or any of the others were. They accepted you like family, some more than others. Mark, the tall dashing owner of the manor, was the most warm and welcoming. He was referred to as 'Actor' by most of the others, and they seemed to keep out of his way. You didn't quite understand why, he seemed kind. A little egotistical, but he was always looking after you, asking how you were feeling or if you wanted anything.

You didn't ever quite understand the reason for this place, or the sort of work that Mark and the other egos did. You knew that they never strayed far from the manor.

You were on pretty good terms with just about everyone except Dark, with whom you had no terms at all. He was aloof, cold, haughty, and went out of his way to avoid contact with everyone unless it was absolutely necessary. When he spoke, his tone was quiet and melancholy, devoid of most emotion. You knew he wasn't human, most of the people here weren't. Still, he seemed odder than the rest. Maybe it was his red and blue aura that flared up when he was angry. Maybe it was his sense of always being a few seconds ahead of himself, as if he was reading a script and remembering what to say next. Maybe it was.... it could've been anything, really.

You knew, subconsciously, that he was a villain. That's what Mark had told you.

"Darling," he had said, using his favorite name for you. "I need to speak to you about something important."

You had looked at him curiously, waiting for him to continue.

"I want you to stay away from Darkiplier. He's dangerous. He's nothing but a villain, and that's all he'll ever be. He'll try to take you, try to manipulate you, and I don't want to see that happen to you."

Sure, Dark had a temper, but you'd never seen him do anything inherently evil. Still, you supposed Mark knew him best and you trusted Mark. You didn't go out of your way to avoid him, but you didn't try to seek him out either. He didn't really seem to like you either, so it all worked out.

Until... it didn't.

You started to notice things, things you would have let pass by a few times, but they continued to happen, and finally you had to admit something was wrong. Mark had been acting... wrong. He said everything as if it were a memorized line, but sometimes he would slip up. After one of these, he'd disappear into his room and refuse to speak to anyone, even you. This made you feel hurt, and alone, and you started spending more time in the Manor's library.

What had happened to your sweet, lovable Mark? Why did he now does add much time as he could away from you? Why could he now not meet your eyes?

With these thoughts running through your head, you didn't quite watch where you were going when you stepped out of the library, and crashed into someone very cold.

You stumbled back, close to losing your balance, but were stopped by a chilled hand grasping your upper arm.

"Are all humans so clumsy?" Dark said in his quiet, rumbling tone. "Or is it just you?"

You looked up at him and scowled. With Dark, you are never sure if he was teasing or actually just an asshole.

"I'm not clumsy, you ran into me."

He gave a small minuscule tilt of his head. "No. You crashed into me because you," He brushed past you into the library. "Were simply not watching where you were going."

You scowled and walked off.

Later, you ran into him in the hallway. Not literally this time, just a simple chance encounter. You made fun of the disorganized bundle of papers in his arms and he replied with some snarky remark. You grinned and parted ways.

And so this continued. You would find him in the library, or wandering the corridors, or simply sitting in the garden, all things that you liked to do. Slowly, but surely, your conversations with him became longer, further than just exchanging pleasantries. You grew to find yourself thinking about him when he wasn't around, not in any romantic sense, but just that he was someone new to talk to. You made a more conscious effort to find him, to engage in conversation.

Slowly, eventually, after many months of tentative acquaintanceship, he began to do the same. He would join you in the library, or simply accompany you on one of your walks outside the manor. He couldn't stay away long, but what time he could he spent with you.

The reason he gave, always, was that he was bored. He had nothing else to do, so he might as well spend it with you, pathetic mortal that you were. But you knew him better than to accept that as his reason.

Everyone else in the Manor was terrified of him. Not that you quite blamed them, he made quite a daunting figure. Still, you didn't mind his outward appearance, and he found that... fascinating. Comforting, perhaps.

Maybe, for all his cold resentment towards anything living, Dark just wanted someone to talk to.

"Are you even listening?"

You snapped out of your thoughtful stupor. You were walking next to Dark through the Manor gardens, and had gazed off while he was talking.

"Sorry, Dark, I wasn't paying attention."

"Obviously. So what's on your mind?"

You paused. "Nothing important."

"You, dear, are a terrible liar," He said nonchalantly. "And I hate liars. Try again."

You gave a short laugh. "I was just thinking about Mark."

You paused as you saw him tense, his eyes darkening slightly. When he saw you watching the look disappeared as soon as it came.

"Oh? And... what about him?"

"Has he been seeming... off, to you?"

You thought you heard him scoff, but maybe you were imagining it. "No, I hadn't noticed."

"Oh... well, we used to be sort of a thing, you know? I was really close, and now I think something's happened. He just seems like he's uninterested and he spends a lot of time just avoiding me. You work with him, has he said anything?"

You looked at him expectantly, but he only sneered.

"Me, work with him? Only because I have to."

You raised an eyebrow, confused. "What do you mean?"

"You must have noticed. I can't go far from the Manor."

You nodded. "Yes, you're connected to it. Mark said something about your death-"

Dark turned to you. "And how exactly did he tell you I died? What extravagant lie did he make up for you this time, hm?"

You furrowed your brow, surprised by this sudden outburst. "Mark.... Mark wouldn't lie to me. He would never."

Dark's black eyes bore into yours, but there was no malice there, not any that was directed to you at least. "Of course he wouldn't. So what did he tell you."

You gathered your thoughts, growing more doubtful by the moment. "He.... he said that you got shot. That you make William angry and he shot you."

He looked at you. "Anything else?"

"No, he said that you were brought back by the Manor."

Dark sighed and rubbed his head. "Another one..."

You did a double take. "What do you mean, 'another one'?"

"Another romantic partner, another lie, another story."

"Another... partner?"

Dark gave you a grin that seemed more sinister than reassuring. He started walking again, in his wide-paced stance and his hands behind his back. You didn't follow, thinking that this was one of his signals, meaning he didn't want to talk anymore. At least until he paused and spoke without turning his head. "Are you coming?"

You hurried after him.

"Everything you know about Mark is a lie," he said bluntly, without giving you any time to react or interrupt. "You are not the first person he has brought to this place, not the first one he has charmed with his lies." He took a deep breath. "This place is far, far older than you believe, and so are all of us. We all died several years ago."

You nodded. So far, you followed.

"We, however, were not the cause. Mark may paint himself the hero, but he is far from that." As he spoke his words grew lower and more laced with ringing static. "He killed all of us."

"But.... Wilford's not dead?"

"Yes, he is. As dead as all of us, but it didn't happen here. That's not important."

"Long ago, Mark married a woman named Celine. He was entirely devoted to her. He gave her everything. But she betrayed him, and cheated on him with his best friend, his brother. Wilford."

You felt your heart pang. Having been cheated on before, you knew how that felt.

Dark continued. "The betrayal sent him mad. He decided to get his revenge on everyone, even those who had nothing to do with it."

"What do you mean by that?"

He growled lowly. "Have you heard talk of a man named Damien?"

You nodded silently.

"He was Celine's brother. He was the Mayor of this town, before the world came crashing down around us. He didn't have anything to do with Celine and her cheating, but Mark directed all of his wrath... at him. His second brother."

"He sought to make himself the hero of the story, his broken mind not being able to comprehend the terrible things that he was doing. In his thinking, he was doing right, and we were the villains. He faked his own death, and one by one took the rest of us."

He didn't want to seem to go into detail, and you weren't going to push him. There would be time for that later, and you didn't think that this was the right state to be pushing Dark into.

"I was... forced, into this body. I share it with three other souls. I was given the anger, the means, to be the villain. So..." He spread his hands in a 'what you see' gesture. "Here I am. The villain."

Your head was spinning and everything seemed loud. "So... why did Mark bring me here?"

Dark smirked. "Don't you know? Ever hero needs a damsel in distress."

"Distress? I'm not in distress."

With these words, Dark held his head. He mumbled something under his breath, something you couldn't make out. When he looked up, any trace of the kindness or softness you had previously seen in him was gone. He gripped your wrist almost painfully, and dragged you close to him.

"Are you so sure about that, darling dear?"

[weirdoldmanhoho]

do u have any fic recs?

Sorry it took me years to answer this! The truth was I really hadn't read many FMA fics (at least not since the FF days) and was waiting until I actually had some recs to give.

And now I have some! My list will surprise no one, I'm sure.

Soul Friends by KyberHearts

“They were not always, and simply, two minds in one body. Towards the latter part of their alliance, especially in the heat of battle and warmongering, their souls could not distinguish where the prince began and the sin ended.”

Ling Yao returns to Xing to seal his fate as the next Emperor and sets his plans for reunification and peace in motion.

Elsewhere, Alphonse Elric reconciles with the very Truth that stole his body.

I absolutely love the way this fic writes post-canon Alphonse and his relationship with Truth.

--

Damaged by xmypandabear

'"He's still in the hospital too, with the Lieutenant," Alphonse said dully. "Blood loss - someone slit her throat..." Ed stared up at the ceiling, remembered the scientist with the gold tooth, and shuddered at the image his brain conjured of the Lieutenant lying on the floor. "But Mei helped her! So, they're sharing a room - the Colonel and Hawkeye, I mean, not Mei, 'cause the Colonel can't use his hands yet, so she's helping him..."

"His hands?" Ed tried to remember.

"It's how they forced him to do it," Al whispered. "They pinned him down so he couldn't move."

Ed fought back nausea. The sense of wrong, wrong, wrong pervaded every sense of his being. How the fuck was any of that equivalent exchange?'

Love me a good post-promised day healing and processing fic. This one focuses a lot on how Al, Ed, Winry, and Roy are all doing immediately post-promised day and the relationships between all those characters.

--

Joining of Hands by ehmazing

If you're not breaking a couple of laws, is it really an Elric wedding?

Truly, the best thing about an AlMei wedding is all the hijinks and complications the come from foreign customs and marrying into royalty.

--

Legends by Elfpen

Alphonse Elric has been living and studying in Xing for a little more than a year and a half. Now, Ling has asked him - ordered him - to take on a new responsibility and fill the shoes vacated by Van Hohenheim four centuries ago. But what use are legends, really, when they're all frauds? The Son of Heaven and the Son of the Western Sage see it differently.

You ever find a fic that just feels completely catered to you and your interests? I love everything about this fic. Alphonse in Xing and the weird politics he has to maneuver as not only an incredibly skilled foreign alchemist but a close friend of the emperor's - all at a young age. His relationship with Hohenheim and the grief and confusion that comes from never really getting to KNOW Hohenheim and now having to come face to face with the lasting impact his father left on a foreign country. Ling scheming. It's all very, very good.

--

The Principle of Mentalism by The-Immortal-Moon (LunaKat)

There’s a woman with a wrench and a penchant for alcoholism, and what he doesn’t know is that she’s going to change everything.

Another fic that feels like it was written specifically for my interests. This one explores Pinako and Hohenheim's first meeting and how a rowdy mechanic from Resembool and a reserved guilt-written immortal from Xerxes ever became friends in the first place. Features Hohenheim and his one million soul friends and a young awkward Pinako who I want to give SUCH a big hug to. I love it so much.

--

We'll be Holding on Forever by zipadeea

"Hohenheim left them to save the world. But Dad loved them more than everything in the world."

AU where Alphonse gets his body back a little earlier on the Promised Day.

It changes nothing.

It changes everything.

Read this if you want to cry. It focuses on Ed and Hohenheim's relationship and it is full of pain but also healing and understanding. Great quick read.

--

ticket stubs and your diaries by nerdywriiterchild

Alphonse Elric is almost fifteen. He will never know Xerxes.

This one is short but packs a powerful emotional punch and a really interesting character study into only a few paragraphs. Explores the really interesting question: what is it like to mourn a culture you're a part of but will never really know?

--

Briding Her Time in Wait

The wedding date was set. Winry and Ling had screamed at one another for months during the preparation out of a mutual need for their childhood friend and half-sister to have the most incredible wedding in the history of either Amestris or Xing, and as a result the wedding canopy suffered from a unique blend of western and eastern traditions that left guests from both sides of the desert confused and requesting refills on drinks that didn’t exist. Still, the two wedding planners manipulated the day into running smoothly, Ling pulling his Emperor card when necessary, Winry pulling her, well, Winry card when necessary, while Ed and Lan Fan stood awkwardly around the food table making small talk that mostly consisted of complaints about automail. By the time the golden groom was ushered through a beautification process that left him requiring an escort to avoid the various women—and men—attempting to seduce him at the last minute, the guests were settled and the wedding was ready to roll.

Except no one knew where the hell the bride had gone.

I'm always a sucker for Scar and Mei's relationship.

--

One More Time, With Feeling

In the end the Elric brothers laughed over the irony: The traveller had settled to write books on alchemy while juggling two boisterous children blessed with Rockbell rockheadedness and Elric recklessness, and the settler had taken to travelling between Amestris and Xing for the remainder of his life. It came, really, with having two homes.

-------------------------------------------------------

A bird could love a fish, but where would they live?

This one explores Alphonse's relationship with Mei post-series and is VERY in line with how I picture it. Being in love with a foreign princess in line for the throne with a duty to her people and country would make for a very complicated and often strained relationship.

--

Magic and Mind by Preelikeswriting

Of all things Edward was prepared for as the day of reckoning grew near, being transported from one world on the edge of war to another was not one of them.

AKA: Edward gets accidentally summoned by Death Eaters, and neither party is happy.

(Pre-Promise Day, HP book 5)

Ok so preface: I rarely like crossover fics and I very rarely like HP crossover fics, but this one just works for me. I think what I like so much about it is that Edward doesn't just get thrown into the world of HP and join the golden trio / order and start fighting Voldemort. Oh no. He does not care about their fight at all. He just wants to get back home and will do anything he needs to to achieve that, even if it makes him look like he's working with Death Eaters or going against Harry and friends.

I think the fun of this fic is that it kind of plays around with the fact that the READER knows who the good guys are of each series and would expect them to join forces. Sure, Ed is the Good Guy of FMA and Harry and friends are the Good Guys of HP, but Ed's goals don't really align with Harry's goals and so they're not really working together, and Ed kind of comes off looking shady af to the HP characters despite the fact that the reader knows why he's doing what he's doing. It's a far more interesting take on Ed goes to HP world than "Ed immediately joins the fight against Voldemort."

The series has three works so far and I haven't finished it, but I really loved the first and what I've read of the second. It also eventually heads into Ed/Draco territory which is not a ship I would have initially read but.....kind of works for me here.

[thedeviljudges]

Do you think Yohan always planned to fake his death and join Elijah in Switzerland, or did he originally intend to really die with the rest of the 'villains'? Part of me thinks that would fit with his pre-Gaon conception of himself, as a monster, not deserving of love, not necessarily seeing a role for himself in Elijah's life beyond getting revenge for her/Isaac, and financing an opportunity to help her recovery. Or do you think regardless of that, he'd still never plan to leave her on her own?

i didn't mean to put off this ask for so long. i was busy, but i also wanted to wrap my thoughts around this before i tried answering. not bc i didn't have an answer to begin with but yohan and death is a subject i'd like to approach, but i'm not entirely sure how i'd like to make the analysis of it, and i'm not sure i ever will.

so that leaves me to answer it here in the best way i can because point blank: i do believe yohan intended to die by the end. i do think he had two plans in place since the beginning (dying or not dying and helping elijah), but of course, until that final moment, he wasn't ever going to know the truth. that end scene of him blowing up the court was a 50/50 shot. he had a plan to make it out, but it wasn't a guarantee.

but lets also back up a bit because before we get to that point, i think it's necessary to point out that the reason yohan gets away and does all of the shit that he does is because he knows that he might not make it out alive. it's why he's reckless. it's why he bends the law the way that he does. yohan's actions prove, over and over again, that he does not care for himself. he does not care to live except to protect elijah. there are so many small moments of this. we call yohan unhinged out of fun, but i think there is truth in it because i've mentioned this casually before (and part of my words above in terms of not necessarily knowing how to approach this just yet) is that yohan is almost...... suicidal himself.

he's reckless. he's said that he does not care about the actual law. his goal has always been getting revenge for his brother, especially for his niece who grew up without her parents. yohan never truly cared about the bigger picture until gaon came along. if we leave out gaon and think of the plot as such, yohan would've been able to prevail much quicker, i'd say. he had a plan and was going to follow through with it no matter what, regardless of the ending. and he knew going into it that there was a chance he wouldn't make it out alive.

which is why i think he partially also allowed elijah to blame him for her parent's death because if she hates him, it will be so much easier for her to forget him. she won't mourn him or miss him. she will be able to move on with her life and live it any which way she wants. but because yohan doesn't really understand kids, let alone elijah, what he fails to realize is that elijah doesn't actually hate her uncle. she's looking to get rid of all of the pent up hurt and frustration bc she never had an outlet to let all of that out. yohan fails to see that elijah cares for him and would miss him, to a degree, if he died.

so now, if we think of the plot with gaon, it twists everything on its head bc gaon has no need to be there within yohan's plans. yohan doesn't need gaon to do anything bc everything was already planned from the beginning. if anything, gaon came in and crashed some things, leaving yohan to pick up those pieces and continue pushing forward. biggest case in point, gaon's stubbornness and his arguments against yohan with the law and what he's doing.

see, gaon eventually comes to realize yohan's reasonings for doing what he's doing for his brother, but i feel like gaon thinks that even if that is part of yohan's plan involves revenge, how much does he think yohan is also doing this for the greater good and wanting to fix society? we know that yohan has no intention of that, but does gaon? and so no wonder gaon protests because if he thinks yohan is trying to fix a broken system (plus get revenge all in the same plot), no wonder gaon continues fighting yohan - he's under the belief that yohan is trying to make things better. but he's NOT.

which circles back to the idea that yohan had every intention of either making it out alive or dying. gaon opened his eyes that yes, maybe things could possibly be good. gaon made yohan question a lot of things along the way, especially his own humanness and realizing that he is worth something and not the monster he let himself believe he was, and what others told him he was. that wasn't part of the plan either, which is why it made it so much harder for yohan to go through with bombing the court because yohan's at a conflicting place of finally understanding gaon's hope but knowing that he only ever had revenge as an intent.

yohan's plan is derailed a bit by gaon being hope and introducing concepts yohan has lived without for so long. before then, yohan lived isolated with one clear goal in mind until gaon showed him he had a reason to live. i also said in another post that while gaon stopped yohan because he didn't want to see yohan going down a path he couldn't come back from, it was already too late at that point. yohan had already set his path long before gaon came into the picture and nothing he said or done would've changed that. but it DID given yohan more perspective and more heart, possibly being at peace even more so with dying knowing elijah would have gaon.

but instances within the show - of course, his two fake deaths. him steering gaon and himself off the road on the middle of the highway. him chasing after the minister's son. yohan asking soohyun to save gaon despite him literally bleeding out.

yohan does not care for himself. he does not care whether he lives or dies, as long as his plan is completed. we can talk til we're blue in the face about how yohan was wrong manipulating the law like he did and various other things, but the reason why? is because he did not care. and it wasn't because of him being a sociopath by any means. it was because he numbed his emotions, lied to himself, and used his love for his brother and elijah to propel him to a desired end with the possibility of his death involved. and quite frankly, that speaks volumes about who he is and just how much he actually cares, how much he actually has emotions.

yohan, to love his niece so much he decided to manipulate the law, to serve his own agenda and purposes for an outcome that wouldn't actually give them that much peace, but would at least position the country in a way they could grow and give elijah a life where she wouldn't have to grow up into that kind of destruction. this is why yohan "leaves" gaon behind and why gaon is the hope of the show because in going along with his plans, yohan realized that if gaon wasn't going to follow him through til the end, if he was going to do everything in his power to stop yohan, then the biggest apology yohan could give gaon was the world - the entire judicial system to make things right, to do better. that was yohan's gift to gaon and his apology because yohan had no intention of making it better. but maybe gaon could with him gone.

i've seen a few comments about how if yohan was someone in irl, we'd all steer clear of him, well, there's a lot of characters out there like that, but i wouldn't stay away from him for the reasons everyone typically lists (like the choking and manipulation) because they think he's that way just bc. yohan's actions mimic those of someone who simply doesn't care because they're depressed and not because they're psychotic. there is a DIFFERENCE. like yes, are some of his actions shitty? and his gaon right to mistrust the things he does sometimes, also yes.

but understand that there is a difference in people's behaviors depending on the underlying mental health issues involved. i don't fully believe yohan had any intent to hurt elijah or gaon maliciously. it's part of yohan being oblivious and not recognizing his own actions mixed with the entirety of his plans to be followed through til the very end. we've seen how oblivious yohan can be (the classroom bird story is a classic example; they all thought he was the devil when in reality, this kid only hurt the bird because it was scaring the girl he sat next to. logically, that mean eliminating the threat. he didn't purposefully kill the bird and enjoy it. it was a practical response within his own personal world).

i feel like i'm missing parts of this discussion, which is why i said this was a difficult topic for me to approach just to get all of my thoughts about it out there. and long story short to answer your question: i think yohan intended to die (just like he had a plan in case went to jail, for example). that possibility couldn't have been ruled out. but i think he had the plan to escape with elijah so that she could get better. either way, whatever happened happened, even if he died. elijah would be taken care of regardless.

gaon throws a wrench in his plans just a little bit, makes him realize his emotional capacities but gaon's not enough to stop yohan from seeing his plans out until the very end, even if that means losing gaon, too, because even if gaon has shown yohan that he is worthy of love and family and affection, it is not enough to forgive everything he's done, and he needs to make right what was wrong. yohan's death in that courtroom, if it had happened, wouldn't be the thing everyone needed to forgive him for his actions but it would be a start in eliminating himself as part of the problem.

another thing to keep in mind, is that we know yohan is not a sociopath, even if that's what everyone wanted us to believe. everyone thought he made sunah jump out the window, but what he was actually doing was protecting isaac and his mother's necklace. sunah made the choice all on her own, set up yohan and framed him despite yohan reaching out time and time again. isaac didn't even understand what had happened and focused on the fact that this girl jumped because of yohan without listening to the truth of it. yohan has always been shown to be fiercely loyal to the people he loves. he's never directly done anything bad (at least as a kid) unless he was provoked.

what people need to understand about yohan as a character is INTENTIONS. and i hope i'm making myself clear on this. everyone thinks he's born a devil, but that has never been the case. yohan's actions just come from a place from blind revenge. if he never needed to get revenge in the first place, if isaac was alive and well, would yohan make these same decisions? would he still be this kind of person who needed to use these methods to work around the law? i don't think so.

i think i remember getting an ask awhile back about whether yohan would eventually turn into who he is now had isaac lived because we see him livid and upset during that flashback to one of his earlier court cases (where we find he's ripping the paper with the pen) and whether or not isaac's death just fast forwarded the process. i don't feel like trying to go dig that post out, and i can't remember what i said on it either, but i feel yohan would have his family as a moral compass to keep him in line, and he wouldn't have succumbed to his present-day tactics. i think he could've worked his way up into the system and made real change. i think his heart could've been there all long, but again, was derailed by isaac's death and of course, plans changed.

this was a mouthful, and i hope what i'm saying makes sense because you can probably see what i mean about how difficult it is trying to organize my thoughts about this subject. but i am under the full belief that yohan had every intention of dying at the end or even before that. i think he's a depressed individual who learned to slowly open back up with gaon's help, but gaon is no doctor and no amount of his kindness would help someone that depressed either. it helped, certainly. but yohan saw himself as a monster/devil until the very end, and was more than willing to kill himself to make gaon and elijah's life so much easier. as penance. as justice. as love.

[aonogifreactions]

Hug Headcanons: Revisited

a/n: ive felt like i should rewrite this for a while now. i hated seeing those stuped ~180 words, so.. thats why were here! xD i added yukio to the mix as well, since ive gotten this ask >:) huge thanks to @no-remorse​, who beta-read it for me <33

Tiny edit: I’d love to hear the feedback for this one! <3

Warnings: Spoiler in the last headcanon in Yukio’s part!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Lucifer, Amaimon, Astaroth.

★ Words: 2,1k.

Rin:

no matter where, who’s watching, or what had happened before, he’s gonna give you a big, big hug! he absolutely lives for your hugs, it soothes him emotionally so much and works as immediate relief.

almost always his one hand wraps around your waist, while the other one goes on your head as he nuzzles into your neck; his hugs are always tight, almost as if you were about to get taken away from him - he doesn’t really feel like that inside, but.. he likes feeling that you’re here. present. for him.

after a fight, he immediately runs into your arms and almost makes you both fall on the ground as you nearly lose your balance when his arms wrap around you; feeling your embrace, your warmness.. something in his mind switches right away and he’s calm. he’s still shaking, but it gradually stops as he relaxes in your arms.

at first, he might be a little shy, but when he gets comfortable, he can’t keep his arms away from you. He just.. loves feeling you. hugs make him somewhat vulnerable, because he lets his frustration out, and at the same time - Rin gets an extreme dose of serotonin. He tends to place his forehead on yours just before he loosens his hold on you, and eventually moves on do to his things.

depending on your height, he still loves hugging the same! if you’re short - during hugging, he also places his cheek on your head, leaving a soft kiss on your hair. if you’re tall - he loves!! hugging!! into your chest!! or whatever he reaches!! he’s just snuggling into you like a madman.

he gets butterflies in his stomach when you hug him from behind and almost starts stuttering. (do it when he's cooking or sumn,, but u didn't hear it from me) 

also, please, PLEASE wrap your arms around his neck. he’s gonna MELT.

Yukio:

his hugs are rare, but it’s not like he doesn’t touch you - it’s just Yukio being Yukio; hugs make him vulnerable, similarly to Rin, except that it’s Yukio’s way to “open up” about his problems a little. It’s surely a very small step forward, but it shows that he's trying, yet he doesn’t realize how much it actually helps him.

he prefers to hug somewhere where there are not so many people around, not necessary in private completely, but as long as you’re the only one with him in the room, he’s down for a hug if he feels like it (or you beg him enough lol).

he’s usually silent during hugging, but he really “quietly” lets his frustration out, you might even catch him sighing. at first, he embraces you with only one arm and places his head on your shoulder, but when it hits him - the emotions, that he’s been waiting for years and now he’s finally able to tell someone everything - he’s almost crying, but he intertwines his other hand with yours instead. even though there are no real words shared, his love language involuntarily shows the beauty of his complicated personality.

now, he’s a little “unwilling” to hug you, mostly because of all that emotions crashing on him, but he feels so much better afterwards.. it’s unreal, he feels like you used some kind of magical spell on him.

the worst time to hug him is probably when he’s angry - and while it seems like a totally normal thing, it doesn’t work as comfort for him - it makes him even more upset, so it’s really best to leave him alone for some time. he knows your intentions are good though, so usually, he comes back to you with a calmed mind and apologizes.

I picture his S/O being in this mess in chapter 126, where the twins just beat the shit out of each other, and suddenly Yukio’s s/o comes up to him and stops from shooting Rin - he’d have that mental wall blocking him from hurting you in any way, just when he realizes he points his guns at your face or grabbing his hands and attempting to get Rin out of his target range - both of those things and any similar scenarios would end up with him looking at you with those beautiful, yet unfortunate eyes showing so much pain and sadness, along with that broken expression on his face, hoping to understand him.

Mephisto:

we’re gonna have fun here. hugging with Mephisto is pretty common, he likes touching you physically and doesn’t really care if people see it - he’ll push boundaries as far as he can, but unless it’s someone or something really important, he stops and gets serious. 

^unless it’s Arthur, he could politely knock on the door. Hearing the permission to come in, the first thing he sees is Mephisto hugging you with a hand on your lower back, heading dangerously onto your ass while casually giving him random papers and smirking at him. wow.

if you think the twins’ grip was tight, Mephisto’s gonna literally try to squish you into his body - it’s not hugging if your bodies aren’t touching themselves in EVERY possible way. You could be practically glued to him and he won’t complain - in fact, he’s gonna have that shit-eating grin and tease you by saying “hmm, aren’t you needy, darling? you can’t be away from me even if I work!” (even if.. it was him who called you over...)

he GETS handsy and you can’t do anything about it. and he really does it on purpose, just to tease you and see how much time it takes for you to get either horny or snap at him. nonetheless, he likes to place hands around your waist or just on your hips, then shove you into him, so he’s able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

hugs definitely show his rather “softer” side, the silly one - but he also doesn’t hesitate to hug you when he’s serious; these hugs, however, tend to be quicker but more intimate. even if it’s just him standing next to you and placing his hand on your hip while watching the dark sky, stars flickering slightly as you feel a slight, cold breeze hit your face; you look at him, wondering what he’s thinking about, this incredibly sharp mind with hundreds, perhaps thousands of different thoughts. Is he reflecting? Reminiscing? Regretting? or is his mind wandering around some silly thoughts? Yet you’re the one left wondering, not noticing his emerald eyes have focused on yours a while ago. You take your eyes off him, slightly embarrassed, hearing only a faint chuckle and feeling his grip tightening on you as you two once again gaze at the glittering galaxy above you.

Lucifer:

due to his body being not as strong as Mephisto’s - he’s usually down for cuddling instead. however, when some of the elixirs do their job, he’s gonna give you hugs pretty often.

prefers to be in private when he really wants to give you a genuine hug; he doesn’t want to show others he fell for the trap named “love”. he lets himself be a hypocrite about it, for once (ekhem satan and yuri).

Of course, tiny hugs wouldn’t be forgotten while attending stuff anywhere else on Dominus Liminis, but they’re just quick hugs when you walk past him. he isn’t ashamed of you by any means, in fact, he’s proudly walking along with you most of the time, having a hand either on your waist or interlaced with yours.

Lucifer’s hugs are very, very confident and send butterflies to your stomach - he radiates that strong energy to make you feel secure in his arms - the world could be falling, but as long as you’re in his arms, he’ll do anything to protect you from any harm, even if this means losing his precious body.

sometimes he hugs you in his own, unique way - he interlaces both of his hands with yours and places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and sighing softly. while you might think it’s not really a hug, it’s definitely a very sweet gesture. you can get a kiss on the temple or a few sweet and uplifting words whispered in your ear too, if he feels particularly affectionate that day.

his views on physical contact are... a little bizarre; he’s confused and doesn’t fully understand the purpose of it, yet - he will admit it’s quite satisfying. feeling your lover is definitely something that feeds the feelings he’s had deep within him. he might be a little stiff when you introduce him to this too, no matter how many times he’d seen humans do it - experiencing it for the first time is new to him, but surely it is something he grew to enjoy.

 so what’s that “hugging” thing again? you just wrap your arms around someone and.. that’s it? are you supposed to just stay like this? how long? - that’s pretty much half of his thoughts going through his head when he hugs you.

it takes him quite a long time until he “learns” it just “makes him feel better”. he understands (kinda) the idea of it, but deeper down, he’s still pretty puzzled.

In the early stages of hugging, Amaimon didn't realize how strong his hugs were - if he didn’t break any bone of yours, then it’s a miracle. As soon as he noticed you almost passing out, he stopped and the guilt of possibly causing you harm has kicked in, so he promised you to make it up the best way he can.

Amaimon doesn’t realize it - but as time passes he grew used to hugs! Especially greeting hugs, which at this point he doesn’t realize he gives  - it’s become a habit of his.

not a fan of long hugs - to say it bluntly, he becomes bored if it lasts too long (unless there’s been a fight beforehand, in this case, he understands you want to regain the sense of security that physical body is able to give). he likes quick hugs instead, which he gives more often.

Amaimon’s hugs are pretty simple - he wraps his arms around your waist and that’s.. pretty much it. He might rub your back sometimes, but to be honest - he just likes the simplicity. Funnily enough, when Behemoth notices you hugging, he also wants to participate! Tiny demon bounces your way and while it’s near your leg, he starts clinging to it and nuzzling himself (Amaimon’s kinda >:((((((( when he sees Behemoth snuggling, but it’s his boyo so he forgives him).

However, Amai gets really mad when he sees you hugging someone else than him. Unless it’s a close friend or family member, he’s.. somewhat accepting this, but if it’s someone he doesn’t know - he’ll either try to fight them or take you bridal style in his arms and just go away.

He also gets awfully handsy, which he probably picked up from Mephisto. His one hand might slowly slide down to grope your ass cheeks; when you look at his face questionably, he’s just gonna place the other hand on your ass as his answer.

Astaroth:

his understanding is even worse than Amaimon’s, so he’s initially against it. he doesn’t understand the purpose of it and it's very hard to convince him otherwise, saying something along the lines of “if you need your “physical contact” we can fuck on the counter”.

continuously asking him would only make the situation worse, as he’d get annoyed more each second, eventually making him leave the house for a few days. one situation, however, changed his mind the most - he’s once lashed out at you, leaving you crying. he left nonetheless and waited a few days until he cooled off. feeling bad for his actions and regretting doing it for once, he came back, but instead of confronting you - he left a withering rose with a note.

he’s learned a little bit from that situation - seeing that you accept his quirks, he decided to try out some of your ideas - including hugging. and oh boy, how wrong he was.

he will NOT admit he likes hugs for his life; very “tsundere” approach to it, but you can catch his face being relaxed sometimes.

his favorite hug is.. hugging you from behind! whenever you’re cooking or being busy just in general, he loves surprising you with a hug, encircling his hands around your belly as you flinch slightly, not expecting him. as an apology, he places a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

due to him being nasty, you gotta bear with his dirty-talking he’s “performing” every time he hugs you. he also WILL tease you by groping your chest with no shame, attempt to give you hickies, and after a while - move his hands dangerously near your chest.

[lazysublimeengineer]

You’re my Gofer!

Summary: One shot sequel to crystal clear.

Takemichi’s brain short circuited at the sight that greeted his eyes.

When Akashi mentioned to him yesterday that he should be prepared, he wasn’t expecting this kind of surprise.

Characters: Takemichi H. Draken R. & Senju K.

Takemichi swallowed thickly and clenched his fists as he watched the growing tension between Draken, Akashi and Senju.

While he understood and appreciated Draken’s overprotectiveness and not wanting to involve him in the world of delinquency again, Takemichi also realized that joining the Brahman will make him reached his goal faster of defeating Mikey and preventing him of going down the path of the terrible ending that was waiting for him in the future.

He can’t be indecisive now.

‘If I don’t make any decisions now, then nothing will change!’ Takemichi thought firmly.

“Draken-kun. I’ll join Brahman!” He announced resolutely.

“Huh?!” Draken looked taken aback by his decision.

Draken just took a one look at his face and he knew that he can’t really stop Takemichi no matter what he does. He’s just as stubborn as Mikey. Or even more so. This was what he actually fears when Takemichi knew everything. Takemichi will join the fray regardless if its dangerous or not. He knew that Takemichi was an adult that can make his own decisions but fuck, he didn’t want him to risk his life for Mikey or anyone of them ever again.

There’s a great future waiting for him back there but he still chose to go back here into the past to fix everything. Again. He just hoped that it’ll be all worth it in the end.

“Draken… As much as Brahman wants to stop Kantou Manji Gang…”

Akashi’s voice cut off his racing thoughts and looked pensively on the ground. “There’s no way we want to fight Mikey.”

“That’s why we need both of you, the very people whom Mikey trusts. Facing him without getting in a fight would be for the best. Please understand.” Akashi replied seriously.

Draken pondered over his words.

The pelting of the raindrops from the above had ceased and the sky grew clearer afterwards. It didn’t go unnoticed by Senju who moved his umbrella from the side and stared up at the sky.

“Oh, it stopped raining.” There was a certain look into his eyes as he stared up at the small puffs of white clouds that’s beginning to show itself. Funny, how the sky grew clearer and the weather became calmer after Takemichi had accepted their offer of joining their gang.

Was he a secret weather magician too? Takemichi could spread his sunshine and brightness even to the gray clouds beyond them. A slight curved of his lips turned upwards at the mere thought.

Draken sighed in defeat as he looked over at Takemichi’s determined face. “Well, that’s Takemitchy for ya. Keep in mind that the only reason we’re cooperating with Brahman is because of our aligning goals.” He said firmly.

“…Got it.” Takemichi replied.

“Don’t you forget about that. Welcome to Brahman, Takemitchy.” Draken smiled at him and offered his hand in front of him.

Takemichi took his hand, enveloping it in a gentle yet firm handshake. “I will definitely bring Mikey back!”

Draken could feel the callouses on his hands, a sign of the hardships that he already went through in saving all of them. And yet he could also sensed the warm sincerity beneath them, engulfing him in a state of reassurance and trust. He may have to risk again in putting of his faith in Takemichi. And that’s the one thing that he won’t hesitate in doing so now.

If there’s one thing that Takemichi’s well known of, it’s his keeping and fulfilling his promises to them and not giving up.

Draken shook back his hand firmly and smiled warmly at him. This was one of the rarest times when he can put his walls down and expressed what he actually felt for the other.

“Alrighty! I’ve decided.”

Senju’s sudden cheerful voice broke the fragile moment between the two of them and Draken resisted the urge to twitch his eyes and sigh in annoyance.

What a great timing.

Takemichi pulled his hand away from Draken and turned around, seeing an offered umbrella to his direction by Senju. He casually accepted it with a bewildered expression on his face.

“An umbrella?” He blinked a few times.

“From now on… You’re my gofer!” Senju announced happily.

“Huh?” Takemichi looked taken aback, but he wasn’t sure if it’s from Senju’s words or the cheerful expression on his face. It was strange seeing the happy look and cheerful smile painted on his face since his usual default of facial expression was mostly blank and serious. But he couldn’t deny that it made his seraphic features softer and younger. And he couldn’t tear his eyes away from him.

Senju looked like a beautiful, fallen angel from the sky.

Senju leaned closer with that everlasting smile still present on his face. “Let’s meet tomorrow, 3PM at Harajuku!”

Takemichi tried so hard not to blush at his proximity and the cuteness that was laid out in front of him. What’s with Senju and the other members of their gang invading his personal space?!

“Eh? Wait—”

“Senju’s interested in you, Hanagaki!” Akashi cut him off cheerily.

What. Takemichi’s line of thought came into a screeching halt.

“Just be prepared.” Akashi flashed him a smirk before he waved goodbye to him and Draken.

‘What does that mean?!’Takemichi thought frantically as he could only watched Akashi leave and Senju walking beside him with a spring to his steps.

The Next Day, 3PM Harajuku…

Takemichi tried to be punctual this time even though he wasn’t the exact model employee back at the DVD shop that he was working for back then. He simply didn’t want to shatter any good impression and standing that he currently had with Brahman now especially with their leader since Akashi said that Senju was interested in him. Which still weirded him out. Yet it brought a warm feeling spreading through his chest. And he didn’t even know the reason why he was feeling like that in the first place.

Nevertheless, he took Akashi’s words with a grain of salt and didn’t delved deeper on it further. Maybe Senju was always like that when he found something that caught his eye or when his goals are actually met. Their leader’s unpredictability still caught him off guard sometimes. It reminded him of Mikey.

At the mere thought of the blond, Takemichi’s mood went pensive for a bit before he fought it back with a resolute determination. Of course, he was firm in his decision to save him regardless of what method he had to undertake to achieve it. If he had to join the Brahman to reached that goal faster then so be it. He’s ready for any consequences that he needed to face if necessary.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Hanagaki!”

A voice cut off his wandering thoughts and the noise among the crowd that made him paused and turned around to the source of it.

Takemichi’s brain short circuited at the sight that greeted his eyes.

When Akashi mentioned to him yesterday that he should be prepared, he wasn’t expecting this kind of surprise.

“Let’s go.”

A young lady dressed in a female school uniform stated calmly and looked casually at him like everything wasn’t out of the ordinary.

But it isn’t.

This was Senju.

Dressed in female clothes.

Senju.

Who is now a she instead of a he.

Female clothes and features.

And had a nice rack.

Takemichi internally screamed at himself. Now this wasn’t the time to be thinking like that! There was a right time to admire the beauty in front of him. And now isn’t the right time to do it. Since when did Senju became a woman?! His brain felt like melting along with his common sense.

“Huh? Who?” Takemichi replied intelligently as he gaped at Senju’s transformed existence in front of him.

Senju just stared at him blankly before she raised a hand to cover her mouth and stifled her giggles. “Hanagaki you never failed to amuse me sometimes.”

“Eh? But h-how…?” Takemichi stammered.

“Did you hit your head or something Hanagaki? I told you yesterday to meet me here at 3pm right?” Senju answered playfully as she now tugged on his arm and pulled him along the bustling crowd of the city.

Takemichi let him get swept away by Senju’s hold and actions, his mind was still racing with rapid thoughts at this newfound discovery that made him have an internal midlife crisis. He wanted to ask so many things… but for now he just let her be as he was also tantalized by her rare sunny disposition and her ethereal features in front of him.

Of course, Senju knew the reason why Takemichi was being confused and having a meltdown in front of him. But she chose to blatantly ignored it and willfully play the ruthless card of feigned innocence. She was having fun of making him bewildered and flustered.

And she also found it cute and adorable anyway.

This was going to be an interesting day ahead.

(A/N: I own nothing from this franchise except this weird fic of mine. Chapter 215 watered my crops and extended my lifespan because of these things: Inupi, Draken and Takemichi being shirtless and exposing their toned bodies, Draken going feral to protect Takemichi, Takemichi’s ever growing character development and backbone, Senju acting like Mikey and growing fond of our crybaby hero and lastly the infamous gender reveal party at the last panel. Ken plays with us like a damn fiddle with that bomb at the last panel of chapter 215 in the manga. The whole fandom is shook and is now rioting with speedy theories and ideas lmao. Well from my end, it’s fine if Senju is a guy or a gal since the gender is not my measurement of an interest to a character anyway. But it’ll be intriguing if Senju turned out to be a female and a leader of a gang since we all know that it’s mostly a male dominated territory in the franchise. And we’ll probably get another girlboss like Yuzuha as a bonus. Who knows? Maybe Ken will drop us another mind-blowing twist at the next chapter so I’m still not fully onboard with Senju being a 100% gal. But for the sake of this fic and for fun purposes, let’s assume that Senju is a complete female here and she’s having the time of her life making our crybaby hero like this: Takemichi.exe has stopped working. Also, if Mikey learned about this, he’ll be feral and he would raise some hell to prevent them from stealing his dear Takemitchy. So, Mikey you need to step up your game and appear in the future chapters so Takemichi doesn’t end up with one of his harems lol. Reviews are amusing. So, let me hear them from you.)

[beewolfwrites]

And When I am Formulated, Sprawling on a Pin - Chapter Nineteen: I May Think of You Softly

The angst is starting to hot up now, because we can’t have a Chishiya fic without it :) 

As always, you can also read this on AO3 here. 

Just adding this because I’ve gotten a few messages about it, but once this fic comes to an end, I’ll start reading the manga properly so I can eventually write a part 2/sequel! 

While I’m reading it though, I want to make a collection of one-shots based on this fic from Chishiya’s pov. I have a few scenes in mind to focus on, but if there are some you’d like to see, just drop me a message, comment, carrier pigeon etc... and let me know! 

----------------------------------------------

‘It’s time.’

They were simple words, but they carried an awful lot of weight. The plan had to go perfectly, otherwise we were finished.

Arisu’s voice sounded from the other line. ‘Is everyone getting into position?’

I picked up the walkie talkie and headed to the door, only for Kuina to grab my arm and stop me. Perplexed, I opened my mouth to ask her why, but her pleading expression silenced me as she took the walkie talkie from my hand.

At the same moment, a new voice – Usagi’s – came through. ‘I’m in the hall, keeping lookout.’  

Never taking her eyes from mine, Kuina’s hand tightened around my arm. She pressed the button to activate the walkie talkie. ‘We’re watching over the elevator to the top floor.’

Except we weren’t. We were here, in my room.

Kuina??

Once again, I began to ask her what was happening, but she shook her head, shushing me. The guilt in her eyes was unmistakable. ‘The coast is clear,’ she said into the walkie talkie.

Then it became awfully, awfully apparent what was going on.

‘The new leader is making a speech in the lobby,’ Chishiya said, ‘and all the executives and militants are at the annex. I’ll let you all know if there are any changes.’ There was a pause. ‘This is our only chance. I’m counting on you, Arisu.’

Shrugging out of Kuina’s hold, I sat down on the bed, trying to process the situation. This had been his plan from the start. Not the official plan, but a fake one: to use Arisu and Usagi to locate the safe, and to let them take the fall. Chishiya may know the passcode, but the location of the safe is something that can only be discovered once you actually go into the room.

He’s using them as his guinea pigs.  

‘I’m in the Royal Suite now,’ Arisu said. ‘Though I can’t see anything that looks like a safe. Just give me a minute.’ My knee began to bounce nervously as the line went quiet. Then his voice crackled through, triumphant, ‘I’ve found it!’

A puff of air sounded from the other line, and I could practically hear Chishiya’s smirk. ‘The code, it’s 8022.’

There was a pause. ‘How do you know?’ Arisu asked. ‘Did you see inside the black envelope?’

I leaned forward, curious about how Chishiya had managed to figure it out simply by sitting in the same room. There were two possibilities here. Either Chishiya knew perfectly well what the passcode was, and he would concoct a lie to give to Arisu, or he only had an inkling about the passcode, and he was using Arisu to test it out.

‘No,’ Chishiya said, ‘but I didn’t need to. Aguni’s expression told me everything. He was surprised at first, then he was confused. I believe the paper inside was blank.’

‘Blank? But what about the passcode you just told me?’ Arisu asked.

There was an amused hum. ‘The wax seal. You remember Hatter’s ring… it was stamped with the word ‘BOSS’. When the wax seal was stamped, the embossing left numbers. That was the true code.’

You really are incredible, and not necessarily in a good way.

It certainly sounded convincing enough, though until Arisu tested it, there was no way of knowing whether this was the genuine truth, or an impressive sounding lie. And judging by the way things were going, he would find out very quickly.

My heart broke for Arisu as he spoke with pure, blind amazement. ‘Chishiya, I’d hate to be your enemy.’

I held my breath, waiting for the worst as silence ensued. This was a setup, after all. I glanced at Kuina, but she only looked at me apologetically.

Why does he have to be so cruel?

‘Chishiya??’ Arisu’s voice shook. ‘Chishiya, the code’s wrong?’

The static shut off into silence.

------------------------------------------

Even the stale air of my room tasted bitter as I gripped my walkie talkie, turning it over in my palm. It was tempting to just toss into the dustbin and wash my hands of the whole thing, yet I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Chishiya had backed me into a corner. It would be too dangerous to stay at the Beach now that the militants had taken over, but I also resented Chishiya for stringing me along in such a dreadful scheme.

Kuina was waiting for me in the hall outside. Now that the militants were busy with Arisu and Usagi, the royal suite was unguarded. This was the final test. The real plan. But as for whether or not I joined them…. I didn’t have a choice, or at least, it seemed that way. I remembered the words that I’d told Hatter when I first arrived at the Beach.

‘I still have a choice. It’s just that one of the options doesn’t look too great.’

There was always the option to stay and pretend that I had nothing to do with it. Except there was an obvious downside; Niragi wouldn’t settle for that. He’d be out for blood. My blood. It was either possible death or certain death… freedom or confinement. I knew which one I preferred.

‘Though wise men at the end know dark is right, because their words forked no lightning they do not go gentle into that good night.’

It was funny how fittingly Dylan Thomas’ poem sprung to mind now. I was going to die. That was inevitable. But I still wanted my voice to be heard. I still wanted to chase the meaning of it all.

Pocketing the walkie talkie, I walked towards the door. It almost felt sad. All the textbooks I had been given, the books that had kept me sane this entire time… I would have to leave them behind. They were gifts from Chishiya, but after what he’d done to Arisu, they were tainted. I shut the door behind me, quite possibly for the last time.

Kuina was leaning against the opposite wall, and when she saw me, her expression was one of relief.

‘For a minute, I thought you weren’t coming.’

I tried to smile. ‘For a minute, so did I.’

The hotel was quiet as we made our way to the top floor, it became apparent how quiet it was. The militants and executives were likely dealing Arisu and Usagi by now, and I hated to think of what was currently happening to them. Perhaps this was another reason Chishiya wanted to use them; as a distraction.

‘I don’t like it either,’ Kuina said. Her jaw was rigid. ‘I really don’t like it. But I have to get home to my mother.’

Some of the bitterness I felt softened. I couldn’t fault her for that. Not really. She had told me once, while we were on the rooftop, about her mother being the only one to accept her after her gender reassignment, and now her mother was ill, yet she was stuck here, unable to help. She had tried asking about my own life, although I’d brushed it away at the time.

‘My brother,’ I said after a moment. ‘I want to get back to him. He’s older than me, a psychologist. He went into psychology to research treatment options for certain mental health conditions. My mother isn’t happy… to put it mildly. She’s a mess. Probably it’s something to do with being married to my dad, or maybe it’s genetic.’

Kuina went quiet at first, then took the quit-smoking aide from her mouth. ‘Are you two close?’

I shrugged. ‘I suppose we are. We both grew up in the same place, and we both have that understanding. He was always the one who went first, and I’d follow him. He wasn’t scared of anything, not even my dad.’

Kuina and I didn’t say anything more after that. We were nearing the top floor now, and even though I couldn’t see him, I knew that Chishiya was lurking somewhere, waiting for us to give him the all-clear.

As planned, Kuina handed me a second walkie talkie, and I took my place at the end of the hall, looking out for any executives. Meanwhile, Kuina took watch outside the royal suite, where she could see Aguni’s room. So far, Aguni had remained in his old room, despite being the new number-one, and since Arisu and Usagi’s capture, he had yet to emerge.

Chishiya’s voice sounded through the walkie talkie. ‘You two, how are things on your side?’

Just the sound of his voice brought with it a mixture of anger… despair… betrayal… relief… and love. Even that. How was it that now, when I had never been more hurt by him, I still craved the safety I found in his voice.

I don’t know who I hate more, him or myself.

I didn’t particularly want to speak with him. But ignoring him wasn’t an option either. ‘You’re all good to go from where I’m standing.’

‘Aguni’s still in his room,’ Kuina’s voice crackled through. ‘We’re getting bored now.’

‘Then should we get going with the plan?’ he suggested.

I clicked my tongue, eyes scanning either side of the empty hall. ‘We’ve already gotten going. It’s you who needs to hurry up.’

‘Patience,’ was the curt reply.

I didn’t hear anything, but I knew that somewhere down the hall, Chishiya was entering the royal suite. ‘I don’t know if Arisu is stupid or intelligent,’ he said. ‘Hatter was paranoid. He wouldn’t have hidden the cards in a normal safe.’

Did Arisu try breaking into one of the hotel’s guest safes?

‘Where’s the real one then?’ Kuina asked. She sounded tired and weary.

‘When Arisu was caught,’ Chishiya replied, ‘Aguni wasn’t paying attention. He was looking towards a certain picture on the wall. It turns out the paper wasn’t empty after all. It contained a drawing instead.’

It was impressive how Chishiya was able to figure these things out through body language alone. For someone who seemed to have no concept of how people behaved, he sure paid attention to our behavioral patterns.

‘So, you had no idea where it was until then?’ I asked.

‘Exactly,’ Chishiya said. ‘What happened to Arisu was necessary if we were going to find the real safe. Speaking of which, I’ve found it.’

The way he talked about it was chilling. Not so much the words themselves, but the ease in which he spoke them, the lack of hesitation.

Kuina seemed to be thinking the same thing, as she sighed into the walkie talkie. ‘You used him just for that?’

The response was immediate. ‘In order to gain something, you have to lose something. He’s just a sacrifice. Things like this happen a lot, don’t they?’

The level of self-assurance behind those words… it was brutal. I always knew he was like this, but what did that mean for me and Kuina? Were we just pawns like Arisu and Usagi? Would our deaths be necessary too?

‘No, they don’t.’ Kuina said. ‘Not at all. I really don’t want to be your enemy.’

At this, I almost laughed. When I first met Chishiya, I had thought the same thing, and earlier today, Arisu had said something similar himself.

‘I get that a lot,’ Chishiya replied.

Perhaps everyone is his enemy. Perhaps the only person he sees surviving the Borderlands is himself.

The idea was a harsh philosophy, but it made sense. Chishiya had always made me feel like insignificant just through his calculating gaze alone. In that sense, he was just like my own father, and chances are that was why I was drawn to him. In this crazy parallel world, feeling small was the only thing familiar to me.

Maybe, in order to gain my own freedom, I have to lose Chishiya.

--------------------------------------------

Now that the sun had set over the skyline, the evening had turned still and cold. Aside from the hum of cicadas and the chatter of crickets, it was quiet. Leaning against the outside wall of the hotel, I wrapped my arms around me, although it did nothing to stave off the shivers that tickled my skin. Nor did it melt the wedge of icy determination that had buried itself within me.

I’ll follow him for the sake of leaving the Beach… but I refuse to let myself love him.

I had never been a good liar.

To my right, Kuina was leaning against a lamppost, staring guiltily at the ground. Meanwhile, Chishiya removed his numbered wristband as he strolled towards a decorative brick archway that led out of the hotel grounds. ‘I guess we won’t be needing these anymore.’

‘Don’t you feel sorry?’ Kuina asked quietly.

He stopped. ‘Sorry?’

I looked at him curiously, wondering how he could seem so calm. ‘About what happened to Arisu… I feel really sorry for him. We both do.’

Kuina nodded, folding her arms tighter. ‘Don’t you?’

Chishiya’s eyes flitted to mine, and for the first time, I saw genuine surprise there.

Show me a sign… please give me a reason why I should trust you.

‘Is there anything we wouldn’t do in order to survive?’

A shudder ran through me, and this time, it had nothing to do with the breeze. His words confirmed my every suspicion, but I couldn’t let myself feel so disappointed. I needed to block it all out… block everything out.

Then he smiled. It would’ve been easy to mistake it for his usual smile, if not for the hint of bitterness there. ‘If you both feel so worried, then maybe you should go and help him.’

Kuina looked at him, eyes wide with regret. However, she didn’t move. Neither of us could. We both had our own reasons why we needed to survive and return home. Knowing this well, Chishiya took a step towards the arch, only to stop once more. His brow furrowed as he whispered something under his breath.

Growing impatient, I pushed away from the wall and walked towards the exit… towards freedom.

‘Stop.’

Chishiya’s hand clasped around my wrist, dragging me back. I yanked my arm away immediately, both hating and loving the feeling of his fingers on my skin. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’

Kuina appeared at my side, and the three of us watched tentatively as Chishiya tossed his wristband through the arch. A red laser burst through the plastic, leaving behind a singed hole.

I stepped back, horrified. This couldn’t be… could it?

The Beach is a game arena??

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

and here I am squeaking in juuuuust under the wire with a ficlet for @lokibingo, written for the square “Very bold of you to assume that you know anything about me.”

this is a promise with a catch (Loki & Sylvie, 952 words, start of episode 6) Rating: general Warnings: minor references to Bad Stuff With Thanos, references to canonical character deaths Summary: In the Citadel at the End of Time, Loki considers the offer from Miss Minutes and He Who Remains. He can't not. The words thrum over and over again in his mind: You can kill Thanos, so simply and easily, as if the suggestion alone doesn’t feel like a punch to the gut.

“It’s crazy,” Miss Minutes says, which is quite possibly the most honest thing Loki’s ever heard her say, “but he could make it work. All of it. Everything. Exactly the way you’ve always wanted. And you can have it all, together.”

You have no idea what we want, Loki almost says—a reflex, and not an entirely accurate one. Of course she knows enough to get close, because the TVA does too, even if they don’t fully understand.

“It’s fiction,” Sylvie says firmly. She doesn’t seem very tempted, and Loki can’t blame her. Miss Minutes has no truly attractive offer for her, after all—she would have to make the conscious choice to overwrite all her memories with false ones, even assuming they could do it well enough and seamlessly enough that she wouldn’t doubt her new memories later. She would still know, in the moment she agreed, that she was choosing a pretty lie.

The offer to Loki, on the other hand…

He thinks about it. He can’t not. His mind has always been like this, flicking through possibilities, playing out scenarios, weighing his options even when he knows some of them are unacceptable (although his definition of “unacceptable” has gone back and forth quite a bit, lately). And in this case of course he is tempted, because—

The words thrum over and over again in his mind: You can kill Thanos, so simply and easily, as if the suggestion alone doesn’t feel like a punch to the gut. Forget the Avengers; self-righteous as they are, they were never his true enemies, which Miss Minutes would recognize if she took two seconds to look past some of the assumptions in his TVA files. If he could actually end Thanos, somehow, with or without the Infinity Gauntlet—take a little bit of revenge, yes, but more importantly stop the Titan from hurting or killing anyone ever again—

He could save everyone. He could return to Asgard a hero—even Midgard might forgive him, if he could prove Thanos had sent him. With the Gauntlet he could fix most of the problems ravaging their planet, and then they might well call him a hero too. He could protect Asgard from the Dark Elves—from everything, probably. Save his mother. Save his father, maybe, if that part isn’t an inevitable consequence of Odin’s age, and even then Loki would have those years, to do what he could to…have a family again. He could prevent Ragnarok, even, if the TVA allowed it—and why wouldn’t they, if they were really willing to change the Sacred Timeline for him in the first place? He couldn’t prove what Thanos meant to do with the Infinity Stones, maybe, so the universe’s inhabitants might not know that he’d saved fully half their number—but he would know, he would be responsible for preventing death on a truly cosmic scale, and that would matter.

And Sylvie, even if she couldn’t bring herself to accept a lifetime of happy memories while knowing they were fake—she could live, if he convinced her to agree to the rest of it. Stop running, stop hiding, go back to Asgard, have the next best thing to her own family back again.

He could save everyone.

…except, of course, that isn’t the bargain, not really. The reward is an illusion, even if the TVA’s ruler somehow keeps every single promise, even if that promise involves allowing them to forget the TVA’s existence. Loki would have to make his decision, fully knowing in that moment that he was making himself complicit in the continued existence of the organization that strips free will from everyone in the universe and regularly destroys numberless lives to do it. He could tell himself it was better than the alternative and he might even be right, if their claims about devastating multiversal war are true. He is a prince, after all (and, very briefly, a king), one who grew up understanding the value of pragmatism. He is still practical enough, he thinks, to choose the lesser evil, if better options really do not exist.

But he doesn’t know. He has nothing except propaganda and a temptation from the same (deeply unsettling) source—and giving in to the temptation would make him little better than Thanos, with all his lies to himself that the destruction of half the universe was necessary to save the half left behind.

Well. Maybe more than a little. Even in his relatively short time on Sanctuary, Loki came to know Thanos well enough to be confident that the Titan’s motivations were no more than self-serving lies to hide even from himself the truth that he wanted the universe to suffer, that it made him feel powerful to cause pain.

(For just a second he imagines Mobius interrogating Thanos and wants to laugh, even though it isn’t really funny. It’s been that kind of day. Or week, or year, or…whatever.)

If the threat of multiversal war is real, if the constant sacrifice of variants and everyone unlucky enough to be in their vicinity truly prevents more suffering than it causes—even then, it is still an evil thing to choose. And if he chooses it now without that certain knowledge, knowing that he is sacrificing countless variants of, quite possibly, everyone who has ever existed and choosing to do so purely for the sake of his own happiness and that of the people he loves—

Better than Thanos, yes. But not by much. Not by enough to live with it.

He exhales. “We write our own destiny now.”

“Oh, sure you do,” Miss Minutes says. “Good luck with that.”

Norns, he hopes he’s right this time.

[jadoue1999]

The X-Men and the member they lost - Chapter 3

Summary: What do you get when you mix Hayward and the Xmen? A pissed off Erik that's seriously trying to not murder the man!

Previous parts: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, 

Chapter 3: The Maximoff Anomaly

They had settled in fast. The older man that had intercepted them was called Hayward. He seemed very distraught at their arrival and made them go into an unused building. The director hadn’t listened to their protesting, he preferred having them out of the way. For what ever reason, Erik wasn’t sure. They soon realized that time worked differently in this universe. While they had already seen the episode and moved on, it had just ended as they arrived. Charles had told him with amusement that Hank would go crazy over the possibilities. Thankfully, the bunker contained televisions that monitored the town and the broadcast. Hayward had deemed necessary to make sure only people close to him knew of their arrival. They were all sitting around a table when he demanded their story. Charles spoke up. “We’re not from your Earth,” he started.

The director had looked at Kurt with a raised eyebrow, “I had that much figured.”

The professor continued, “two weeks back, one of our members went missing and the broadcast was all we could find. Our universe seems to be ahead of you with the episodes, but we are behind in years.”

“How so?” Questioned the woman sitting next to Erik.

“To us, it’s the eighties.” Charles waited a few moments, letting the people around some time to understand. “We come from a world where people are born with mutations, Kurt here can teleport.” The teenager looked at the professor, silently asking for permission to show his powers. Charles nodded and the blue mutant teleported from one side of the room to another. Hayward seemed shocked as the rest of the people gasped. Charles continued, “this is Raven, she can shapeshift.” Erik smirked as Mystique changed into a perfect copy of the director, making him jump out of his chair in surprise. She turned back into her human form and watched with amusement as Hayward slowly sat back down, eyeing her with caution. Probably seeing how unsettled the agents were, Charles decided to end this quickly. “I can personally read mind and Erik can control metal.”

Erik rolled his eyes as the military people looked at them with wide eyes. He wasn’t going to demonstrate his powers; he had done enough of that with Shaw. The team seemed to get the message that there would be no more demonstrations and moved on.

“So,” said the lady next to the director, “why are you here? Other than the broadcast.”

“Oh well, like I’ve mentioned before, we had a member of our team go missing.” The professor wheeled himself close to a screen and rewound the episode to when Peter appeared. “You see this young man? This is Peter, we had no clue where he went. We watched the broadcast in hopes for answers and we finally found him. Though in a tighter spot than we’d expected, but he does have a knack for trouble.”

Erik smirked at the joke; the speedster had always found himself in the strangest place at the wrong time. He was basically a magnet for trouble.

The director broke the silence. “So, this is not Pietro Maximoff?”

Erik shook his head, deciding to speak up at last, “no, he is not your Pietro, this is Peter Maximoff; my son.”

Hayward seemed surprised that someone other than Charles had spoken. “Is he like you all, enhanced?”

“Yes, he is a mutant,” answered Raven, clearly uncomfortable about the man’s tone. “He has superspeed.”

The director closed his eyes and sighed before turning to his colleague. “Bring the files concerning the Maximoff anomaly, they need to know.” The woman nodded and left the compound. He turned to the other members that hadn’t done much but gape at them and ordered them out. Apparently, he didn’t want people to witness what was about to happen. That left the man alone with the X-men. “Look, I get what you people can do, you barge in and act on an impulse; fix what you think is a threat and leave the rest of us to deal with the mess you leave behind. You might think you’re right, but this is my base.” Erik tensed up at the man’s words, this speech being all too familiar. “I don’t want you meddling in my stuff, Wanda Maximoff is a threat that needs to be dealt with no matter the price. You can go get your friend after.”

It was now official; he hated this man.

Though, before he could show him just how much he despised him, his colleague came back. She didn’t react to the lack of personnel, perhaps she had been expecting it. She was holding a significant number of files and what seemed to be a tv remote. Hayward thanked her and opened a file labeled ‘confidential’. It showed a picture of Wanda. Only she seemed younger, and her hair were a dark brown; there was also a man with bleached blonde hair at her side. They were in a crowd of people, their faces twisted in rage as they seemed to yell to something the picture didn’t show.

“This is Wanda Maximoff, back when she joined a Nazi base and accepted to be experimented on. This is how she got her powers.”

“Director, with all due respect, I believe your thoughts betray you,” interrupted Charles, to the man’s frustration. “I think it’s important to complete your statement and precise that she didn’t know what she was getting herself into.”

Erik secretly praised his friend and his telepathy; Hayward was obviously trying to antagonize the woman. It was obvious they now had to take his version of events with a grain of salt.

“Yes...” grunted the director, obviously upset about being caught in a lie. He pointed to the other man in the picture, “this is Pietro Maximoff, Wanda’s twin, the real one. He too had superspeed.”

He switched on a screen that was flatter than any television Erik had ever seen. It showed Wanda and Pietro in what appeared to be a lab. There was a sort of casket all plugged in with tubes. The pair seemed to be arguing with two older men. There was no audio, so their discussion didn’t make much sense. Suddenly, a blue blur raced through the lab, removing all the tubes in mere seconds. The blonde man stopped next to the casket looking thing and threw the last tube on the floor. It was strange, seeing another version of his son. Their powers were very similar yet very different. While Peter’s trail was silver, Pietro’s was blue, he also left some blue energy lingering in the air. It lasted a few seconds as he stopped before it disappeared. From the few dates in the documents and video, this Quicksilver seemed to have developed his powers only for a few months. It was probably why he seemed to be a little slower than his son. Hayward spoke again.

“The twins were working against the Avengers, those in charge of defending our planet. There was an army of robots threatening to destroy the world, they had sided with the robot in charge.” He glanced quickly at Charles. “They eventually changed sides, but Pietro didn’t survive.”

The footage changed to show a man and a child trying to take cover as a trail of bullets grew nearer. Suddenly, they were out of harm’s way and the speedster was in their place. His shirt was riddled with holes that quickly soaked with blood and he fell to the ground, dead. Fear seized Erik as he watched the man fall to the ground; momentarily seeing Peter in his place. Would a similar thing have happened had Mystique not disguised herself as one of the horsemen?

Hayward continued, showing footage of Wanda fighting in a group against other people, explaining how this event had led to the Sokovia accords, which was nothing more than a differently named mutant registration act. Except this one was actually approved. She had refused to sign and went into hiding, only to resurface when a titan had attacked the Earth. He apparently needed something called infinity stones, one of which was in Vision’s head. From the next chain of event Hayward told them, the titan had apparently succeeded in retrieving the stone. The real mystery was how the Vision was back to life; the director insisted that it was Wanda who resurrected him. She had been blipped, like half of the universe, and had came back grief stricken and ready to do anything to have a perfect family life. She had taken an entire town hostage and made them into her puppets. There was no telling what she might do to achieve her goal. Apparently kidnapping an alternate universe version of her brother wasn’t out of her reach. As Hayward continued telling them about Wanda’s life and what she had done, Erik had only one pressing thought: just how powerful was Wanda?

“How many people are in this town?” Wondered Charles.

“A little more than three thousand. They’re not all casted as roles, most are simply background characters.”

The wheelchair bound man nodded in comprehension. “Have you identified them all? Warned their families?”

He shook his head. “I believe it’s in everyone’s interest if we keep this low, we don’t want to alarm anyone. Especially when the world just came back.”

“You idiot,” raged Raven, “if they can’t reach their loved ones, they will ask questions. They will panic. Your logic is awfully flawed.”

“This is not your dimension, you don’t get to tell me what to do,” argued Hayward, clearly annoyed with them. “I will try to urge the identification process, but you people stay here. I don’t want more superpowered people and their associates getting in my way.”

With that, the man just left the place, followed by his colleague. Whether it was intentional or not, they left their documentation behind. Erik took one of the many files from the pile and opened it. This one described Vision’s origin and whereabouts until he had been destroyed in-

“Charles,” he said, not taking his eyes off the numbers. “This here says that the android died in 2018, five years ago.”

“We traveled 40 years in the future?” Said Kurt, understandably a little overwhelmed by the situation.

Raven put a comforting hand on the teleporter’s shoulder before looking at her friend. Her eyes showed how the situation affected her just as much as it did them. He didn’t blame her; Erik wasn’t sure if he truly grasped the gravity of the implications yet. For now, he preferred to focus on Wanda and her past; the more he knew about her, the better of a chance they’d have to retrieve his son safely and unharmed. The later wasn’t looking too hopeful. From his own experience with mind control and the co-worker’s reaction to being awoken, Peter would likely have a long and painful recovery once he would be back to himself. He just hoped that the differences between their timelines meant that he hadn’t been controlled since he had gone missing. Perhaps, by some luck, he would have arrived a little before he appeared on screen. He didn’t let himself think of what the speedster could have endured before being put under the woman’s spell. Especially if he had been her puppet for the entire two weeks he had disappeared.

“Erik,” interrupted Charles, “I can hear your concerns and I can assure you; your son is a fighter. His mutation is a natural telepath repellent, he’ll be just fine.”

The man smiled at his friend’s words, momentarily comforted. But then, a terrible thought creeped into his head. “Then tell me, old friend, if he is so immune; what horrible torture would he have to go under, so that his mental shield would be lowered enough for him to be vulnerable?”

The silence that followed his statement seemed to confirm that no one had even considered how Peter could be controlled in the first place. They had been too panicked at seeing the young man on the screen and then focused on getting to him to even think of the logic of his newly casted role.

“B-but he’ll be alright,” stammered Kurt, his tail anxiously twitching behind him, swinging, and curling unto itself. “He’s Peter, he always comes out alright.”

Charles smiles weakly at his student, “of course he will, Kurt,” he reassured him, “but we will have to give him time to heal and let him do the first steps when he’ll be ready.”

Erik shared a worried look with Raven, the professor seemed hopeful that the speedster would turn out fine, but he didn’t seem to realize how ahead he was thinking. They were on a military base that had studied for nine days this seemingly all powerful being that didn’t let you in without her consent and a rewrite of your life. And they hadn’t gotten far. From what they had learned, Peter would not be free of Wanda’s control unless she herself brought down the dome. But how could a grief-stricken mutant with powers never seen before just give up what she perceived as the perfect life she deserved?

...

They had stayed up late, learning about Wanda’s past and being horrified at what she had to go through. Erik wasn’t sure how he felt about the woman. She had gone through awful events, a struggle similar to his own. He did feel pity towards her, but he couldn’t look past the fact that she had his son playing her twisted game. The group had eventually settled down for the night, sleeping as good as they could without beds or blankets. They were suddenly awoken by some agitation on the base. Charles stared off into the distance before turning to his team, “Hayward has kicked off people from the base that were being disrespectful to him, now he’s coming our way.”

Indeed, barely fifteen seconds after he had spoken, the director opened the door. He seemed annoyed. “I’m just here to tell you that a new episode should air in the next twenty minutes.”

The blue teen looked at the man, “what happened outside just now?”

His question apparently wasn’t a welcome one since Hayward clenched his jaw in frustration. He answered nonetheless, “I got rid of nuisances. Nothing that concerns you or your team.”

That shut the boy up, but Raven stepped in front of him protectively. “You don’t get to talk to him like that, or to any of us.”

The director narrowed his eyes at her. “You should be thankful,” he snarked, “I could have you all arrested and locked up for the rest of your days, along with your little friend. Yet I haven’t even told anyone about your presence. I’ve been more than benevolent. So, I suggest you watch your mouth.”

Rage built up in Erik, he had heard these words so many times from government figures that disguised their hatred by saying what they could have done but didn’t. The metal bender was well aware that men like him wouldn’t hesitate to sell them out for a raise. What he didn’t appreciate was the way he threatened to imprison Peter as soon as they would get him free from Wanda’s control. Erik felt the metal in the man’s outfit and forced him closer, bringing him at his level. A sliver of fear was seen for a split second in Hayward’s eyes and a feeling of satisfaction crept into his chest. That man was a coward. “You listen to me,” he growled, “we can take out this base in seconds if we feel like it. I’ve seen your kind before, you crush others to rise in rank, but deep down you’re scared. You’re terrified because you’re aware that you are nothing. And if you drop your facade even for a second, they will see you for what you truly are. So, you take out the competition before it even has a chance to realize its potential. But guess what? You’ve met your match because I see you for what you truly are.” He paused as he stared into the man’s eyes. It was a competition of stares that lasted for a few seconds. Erik’s unwavering gaze pierced through the man’s pitiful attempt at intimidation without much effort. Finally, he let his grip go and kept his ground as Hayward took a few steps back. “Here’s a deal, little man, stay out of our way and we’ll stay out of yours.”

The director glared at him and then switched to the other people in the room, probably wondering if the threats he had said had a chance of becoming reality. Whatever he concluded, Erik didn’t know, but the man left the room fuming. The room was silent for a few seconds before Charles wheeled himself closer. He was about to speak but the metal bender beat him to it. “Don’t try to reason with me, old friend, that man had it coming. I only spoke the truth.”

The bald man shook his head. “Yes, you are right, and I don’t blame you for this, but perhaps threatening the director of the base we’re staying in wasn’t the greatest idea?”

Before he could argue, Raven intervened, “I think you did good. It’s been a while since I had seen one of your Magneto speeches; that Stryker knock off deserved it.”

He snorted at her comparison; Hayward was very similar to their own impersonation of the anti-mutant feeling back home. Kurt seemed a little unsettled by Erik’s speech. But he didn’t have time to make sure the teen was alright. Suddenly, the television in their little bunker flickered on; a new episode was starting. They all scrambled to sit down as the screen showed one of the twins running around with a camera in his hands. The upbeat intro song was echoing through the room.

‘Wanda!

WandaVision!

Don’t try to fight the chaos

Don’t question what you’ve done

The game can try to play us

Don’t let it stop the fun’

He opened the bathroom door, showing Wanda brushing her teeth; she also had rollers in her hair. She closed the door with her magic and Tommy ran downstairs to Vision who was reading the newspaper.

‘Some days, it’s all confusion

Easy come and easy go’

Erik watched the screen anxiously as the family members were shown, what would she make her son do?

‘But if it’s all illusion

Sit back, enjoy the show!’

The twin went in the kitchen, their neighbor was looking in the fridge. After a distasteful close up of the woman’s behind, Tommy was now headed for outside.

‘Let’s keep it going

Through each distorted day

Let’s keep it going

Though there may be no way of knowing

Who’s coming by to play’

A blur came out from the house and Erik’s stomach twisted as his son appeared on screen. He was wearing a grey and black shirt and jeans shorts. He briefly stopped in front of the camera and pulled his tongue out like some sort of rock star. He ran out of the shot and came back holding the long-haired twin under one arm. The screen froze to simulate a family picture being taken. The logo ‘WandaVision’ in red and yellow hues.

“Pietro Maximoff as himself?” remarked Raven unimpressed. “Really?”

Erik didn’t react to her voice; he was all too focused on his son. While he didn’t seem that different than usual, he couldn’t help but notice his hair. His usual silver mess of hair were now a bleached blonde. He stared at the screen in disbelief.

This woman had taken away one of Peter’s most unique traits, a part of his personality, to fit her narrative.

He continued looking at the screen with a mix of rage and anxiety. If she had changed him so easily to fulfill her illusion; there was no telling what else she could do if she found out he wasn’t truly her brother.

***

Notes: Next chapter: the halloween special! (and something else)

[langernameohnebedeutung]

(tbh I think one thing that frustrates me about season 3 of Lucifer is...how easily it would have been to get Cain right? He already brings everything to the table myth-wise?)

All the antagonists we had thus far were a) pretty nuanced and b) integrated into the story.

Sure, Malcolm was the most obviously "evil" of the bunch, but season 1 shows us again and again how much his experiences in hell shaped him into the person we meet. We know he was a dirt bag before, but after he is brought back, he's willing to do anything to avoid going back and he completely lost all connection to humanity because of that terror. We learn what hell does to a person - which is something that is relevant to understanding our main-character - and we learn something about the world we're in.

Then we have Amenadiel. Him bringing Malcolm back and doing all that stuff in season 1 like pretending to be a therapist, using Linda, orchestrating the theft of Lucifer's wings - tells us more about his major flaw: That he thinks doing his father's work justifies everything. And thinking that his father is always right, even if he doesn't understand his (supposed) orders. And that's the exactly the thing he's unlearning over the next seasons, the basis for his growth and development. We realise he's not a badTM person and he even ends up siding with Lucifer.

For the Goddess, they built up this expectation of some evil monstrous being - but then she's a mother who loves her children except she has too few moral boundaries and doesn't care about humans because - yes, compared to her they're pretty much insects and she was in hell for most of their history. We get her. We understand her motivations and even when she does horrible things like torturing Linda or freeing Perry Smith or stealing Azrael's blade, she never does them because she's a cackling evil villain - but for reasons that make sense in the terms of her character.

Then you have Cain.

Cain could have very easily fit into that pattern: He's in the bible. Even before the Eve-arc of season 4 (which casually drops Cain like a hot potato with even his own Mum saying that 'yeah, that guy sucked, can't blame you for killing him, Luce') he has every good reason to hate Lucifer:

His parents were created in Eden. Fucking paradise. Living the best life, fruit in their mouth, no pain, no age, no injury. Except Lucifer had a teenage temper tantrum and wanted to mess with his Dad and because of that, Cain's parents lost all that, got kicked out into a life of stone age harshness without any necessary survival skills and Cain grew up suffering pain and disease and hard work to survive, being attacked by predators and finally, killing his brother and being cursed to live that life for all eternity. (Another interesting aspect: This guy couldn't just drop in and out of the mortal realm like Lucifer. This is a guy who probably spent thousands of years working in the fields or doing some really menial labour, so he would be an interesting juxtaposition to Lucifer, who experienced the pleasures of Earth as a relief, a vacation from fucking hell. Then you have Cain who wants to die because - he thinks Earth is hell, but oh, boy, you have a big one coming down there).

He had every sensible motive to hate Lucifer. This would have made perfect sense, there was no reason to make him a police cop man with a secret crime syndicate under his thumb.

Plus, the entire show is about how first impressions aren't everything.

The main-character is the literal devil and the show is about how he's not evil incarnate. And as I said, all our main-antagonists follow that trend: Amenadiel is first introduced as this scary foe to Lucifer, but actually they are squabbling siblings from a dysfunctional family trying to make things work. Malcolm was a corrupt cop but it was the fall-out of the celestial family drama that brought out the worst in him. The Goddess is introduced as this scary being that brought plagues and pests to Earth - but hey, she's actually pretty complex and vulnerable at times.

All this harping on Cain being "the first murderer!!" is...actually pretty pointless, because most of our main-characters are to some degree down with murder, with the exception of maybe Chloe but even she isn't exactly a pacifist. It really goes against the grain of the show that Cain killing Abel thousands of years ago means he has to be bad and unjustified now.

Him committing a horrible act in the fucking stone age shouldn't be the defining characteristic that makes him good or bad- And the writers knew that. Hence, they came up with all this "sinnerman" stuff. But...hear me out: Why not let Cain be right? Why not give him the motive of actually wanting revenge on Lucifer for the fall-out his dumb apple-stunt had for his family, for himself? For all of fucking humanity, actually? - bc this is something that is very rarely addressed in the show, compared to the whole rebellion thing and it would be interesting to see them settle that:

Is it Lucifer's fault for messing with Adam and Eve? Or is it God's fault because he once again decided to punish and condemn with giant consequences and without explaining his "mysterious ways"?

Like, this discussion would be right up the alley of the shows major themes but instead we get this whole "yeah actually this immortal mortal guy who has hundreds of thousands of years of very vague backstory is in a love triangle with our main characters now but actually it will never work out because he's a fucking mob boss. Also he's Cain and collects rock." WHAT WAS THAT?

[jettingtothemoon]

Count to Twenty

➳ pairing: midoriya izuku x reader ➳ genre: fluff if you squint, smut ➳ warnings: kinks, spanking, oral (male receiving), mentions of sex, dom/sub, midoriya being the little sub he is ➳ word count: 2563 ➳ rating: 18+ ➳ summary: In which midoriya unexpectedly moans when you slap his ass.

You'd been dating Izuku since about halfway through your first year at UA. Now in your third year, the two of you had been together for a good couple of years.

Obviously, your relationship with him had a slow start. Izuku was cute and, before high school, had certainly not gained much attention from any girls. Which is why he was so surprised when you confessed your feelings to him. You'd been good friends with him but as you got to know him more your feelings only grew into something different. Something more.

You only worked up the courage to tell him how you felt because he was once again at the centre of the danger, as always with him, and just thinking that something could happen to him without him knowing how you felt was scary. So, you told him and of course, he was a babbling mess. Face flushing cherry red, mumbling nonsense as he tried to come to terms with what you had told him.

Despite that, he managed to confess that he liked you too and so, you began dating.

Your first kiss wasn't until a good few weeks into the relationship, well, besides the cheek kisses he couldn't escape from.

Your first proper makeout wasn't until your second year. That was when your relationship started progressing and getting a little more physical.

The first time you had sex was a little into your third year and, as expected, Izuku was a lure sub. He needed you to walk him through it so that he knew he was doing it right.

That was just how Izuku was. When it came to girls and relationships he was pretty much clueless. However, it was like teaching a baby to walk and once he got the hang of things, although he was still a little clumsy, he was a fast learner.

Each stage of you physical relationship had taken so long to develop. He was just too innocent, it was adorable. However, once you started having sex it was almost like you couldn't stop. You were the one who initiated it ninety-five percent of the time but Izuku was never not up for it if you were. Despite that, he was still so cute and innocent with it. Blushing like crazy, being a little sweetheart and asking you if you felt good because that was what mattered.

It was always about you, always about how you felt and what you wanted.

That was why you hadn't expected him to let a moan slip past his lips when you cheekily slapped his ass. He was used to this kind of thing from you because you had always been more direct than him. Kissing him, cheekily placing a hand on his thigh under the table like that time he came for dinner with you and for parents. It was always you teasing him but this, this reaction was new.

Usually, Izuku would just blush, mumble and stutter like an idiot. Which really was so cute and exactly what he began to do as soon as he realised what he had just done.

The thing was, you weren't alone. You were in the common area of the dorm, a shared space between all students in your class. Although, thankfully, there were only a couple of other people here besides the two of you. However, from the sly glance you received from Todoroki and the almost flustered expression Iida was sporting, you had assumed they'd heard him.

"I- I, um- I'm going to go take a shower." Izuku stumbled over his words before rushing off towards his room.

After the initial shock had passed, you sighed and giggled quietly. This was going to be fun.

And so, you began to follow after your flustered boyfriend.

When you reached his room, you didn't bother to knock and just slipped in past the door to find him lying face down on his bed.

"Izuku?" You called out from where you stood, watching as he simply pushed his face further into his pillow.

You stepped forwards, slowly making your way over to the bed, "Did you just... moan when I slapped your ass?"

He huffed and rolled onto his side as if his soul had just left his body. He pulled his pillow along with him, tugging it to his chest as he curled himself up into a ball.

"N-No."

You raised an eyebrow, "Do you want me to do it again?"

The top half of his face, which wasn't quite covered by his pillow, only flushed more as he shook his head and stuttered again, "N-no. D-don't be ri-ridiculous."

You sighed and sat down on the side of the bed, combing your fingers through his broccoli coloured hair, "Izuku."

Although you had simply expected him to deny it again, he surprised you once again by slowly nodded his head.

"I-It felt kind of... good." He finally admitted, embracing the idea that just maybe it was okay to have liked the feeling of your smaller hand slapping his ass.

You leaned down, kissing his cheek reassuringly, "It's okay to like something like that you know. I'm not judging you. A spanking kink is actually way more common than you think."

Izuku sprung up, back as straight as a pencil, still tightly holding his pillow to his chest, "K-kink? I- I don't have anything like that!"

The tone of his voice alone betrayed him, not to mention the way his face only grew a darker shade of red. 

"Maybe it's just a pain kink but I can't imagine that little slap actually hurt all that much." You pondered, only flustering him more.

"P-Pain?"

"Well yeah, you do get beat up a lot. Maybe you've come to like it?" You giggled, teasing him admittedly a little more than necessary.

He finally pulled the pillow away from his face and instead opted for pushing it into his lap, "I don't like it! At least, not when I'm fighting."

As he spoke it was clear that even he was questioning things and trying to figure things out for himself, although you knew he was already most likely aware of how he felt about it all. He was always good at piecing things together.

"So?" You asked, leaning a head on his shoulder as he came to his decision.

That was how you ended up with him lying down over the edge of the bed with his naked ass in the air.

Before you could begin, he turned his head to you and tried to look for any sign that you were uncomfortable, "Are you sure about this?"

You simply nodded in reassurance, "This is the first time we've actually gone into kinks properly. If you want to try it then I do too."

"O-Okay then." His face flushed again before he hid it into the mattress as he awaited your start.

After Izuku admitted that he wanted to give it a go, you locked the door and told him what to do. When it came to kinks and things, you had your knowledge but it was all very much as new to you as it was him. Especially this particular kink, although you were not particularly surprised to find out that your boyfriend might actually have a spanking kink. It just seemed to fit with his personality.

Izuku lied there almost still except for the way he continued to shuffle ever so slightly in anticipation. He had told you that it was okay for you to do it in your time and that you don't have to if you're not comfortable with it. You had told him that this wasn't about you, this was about him and that he could tell you to stop at any point for whatever reason.

You could tell he was growing agitated waiting and so, you raised your hand before swinging it back down and hitting him. His whole body jolted even though you were sure to be careful because you wanted to start off soft and then slowly raise the intensity of each hit. You would have stopped there and then to ask if he was alright had he not moaned once again, this time much louder than in the common area.

And so, with a newfound rush of adrenaline coursing through your body, you raised your hand again before it came flying back down against Izuku's ass once more.

He groaned, fingers curling into the bedsheets as he waited for the next one and before long it came. This went on for a good few slaps before you started to understand what his preferences were. He seemed to like harder spanks but it still seemed that there was something missing. And so, you decided to try something.

"Izuku."

He groaned again when you said his name, pushing his ass higher as if begging you to hit it again.

"I want you to start counting each one, okay? If you can count twenty spanks I'll give you a treat, deal?"

Although you were somewhat unsure what his reaction would be, your boyfriend nodded and let out a somewhat shaky okay.

And so, your hand came back once again before crashing into his bare ass at its hardest pressure yet. Thankfully, Izuku moaned which only showed that you had not gone too far.

"O-One." He stuttered, hands gripping tighter onto the bedsheets as your hand pulled back again.

You made sure that each hit was harder than the last and watched as his cute little bum began to turn a light shade of red.

"Six."

He was enjoying it, that much you could tell.

"N-Nine."

It made you happy, seeing him enjoying something like this was nice. He always focused his attention on you and, although your sexual endeavours always wound up with both of you feeling good, it was nice to focus on him for once.

By the time you hit your tenth spank, Izuku was talking through gritted teeth. His knuckles had grown white from his tightly his fingers were holding onto the bedsheets.

"We're halfway, do you think you can get through the rest?" Izuku had grown much more comfortable with this as he grew to enjoy it even more and whatever doubt you thought you had about doing this was gone.

Although you were not sure if it was a good thing, it felt really good to be dominating over him like this. To watch him squirm on the bed in front of you, his cock clearly rubbing against the bed every time your hand collided with his ass. It felt good to see him feeling soon good because of you. Despite your growing desire to push this further, you decided to leave that for another day and ew work him up to it. For today, you would leave him with a sore ass and maybe even a little treat if he behaves and gets to the end of all twenty.

He nodded, "I- I can do it."

"Are you sure? Your little ass is looking like it hurts, we can stop if you want."

"N-no. I can make it to the end, y/n. Please."

It pleasantly surprised you that you didn't need to bring up the reward you had offered him. Maybe he still remembers the promise of it or maybe he simply wanted you to hit him more, to hit him harder, to make him beg for you to stop.

"Okay then." You kept your voice harsh but silky as your hand came slamming back down again.

"E-eleven."

By fifteen, he was short of breath and began trying to rut against the bed for release. Until your hand hit him again that is.

"You were behaving so well. If you can survive the last five without doing that again, you'll still get your reward. If you can't, then you'll be sleeping on your own tonight." You tutted, threatening him with not only the loss of his reward but also you for the night.

More often than not, you slept in his room or he slept in yours. Of course, you were not supposed to and had you not been in your last year maybe Eraserhead would have done something about it. He certainly knew that the two of you often shared a bed but he had been your teacher for three years now and he trusted that the two of you were old enough to be responsible with what you did behind closed doors. Although, if he saw what you were doing right now he'd probably split the two of you up for the rest of the year and put you in detention until you graduate.

"T-Twenty."

When his final, shaky count left his lips, Izuku collapsed onto the bed. This was quite possibly too much for him, or maybe not quite enough.

"Good boy. As promised, you get your treat now. Go on, lie down."

He did as you instructed and turned himself over to lie on the bed, seemingly noticing the way his ass hurt just as he put pressure on it. He watched you eagerly as you walked over to him, eyes locked with his as you climbed onto the bed. When your eyes finally broke apart, you grabbed his rock hard cock and slowly began pumping him.

Izuku moaned and threw his head back, only for his eyes to snap back to you when you took him in your mouth.

"y/n..." He groaned, fingers instinctively going into your hair.

You relished in the feeling of his fingers lightly tugging at your hair, know that was a sign he was enjoying it. As you continued to bob your head, your tongue slipping over the tip every time before you sunk back down, you gently took a hold of his balls and began to massage them in your hand.

When your boyfriend groaned through gritted teeth, you knew you were doing a good job. You knew exactly what he liked and had become quite skilled in providing him with the pleasure he so desperately sought. This time around, however, you knew he was getting closer to his release much faster than usual.

Maybe it was because he had been hard for so long. Maybe it was the friction he received from the bed. But you knew what it really was. He was so close already because he enjoyed the little spanking you gave him. It probably wouldn't be too bold to say that he loved it, definitely by the way he was reacting down here.

"y/n, I- I'm going to- I'm going to cum."

He gave you a warning, as he always did, so that you could pull off if you wanted to but you didn't. You held his dick between your lips as he came and quickly swallowed his release before coming off with a pop.

As soon as you were done, although Izuku was clearly exhausted, he grabbed a hold of your arm to pull you onto him. Before you had a chance to blink you were lying on his chest encased in his arms and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"Thank you."

He smiled into your hair and gave you a little, affectionate squeeze.

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

Heya if its ok could you do headcanons for slyvain, felix and Calude with an s/o that's constantly getting compared to there older siblings by they parents and they feel like there not good enough. Also I really like your work

{Hi! Sorry this took so long. It’s been a wild few weeks. thanks for the compliment and here ya go!}

Sylvain:

  I think Sylvain would be at a loss and that his reaction would heavily rely on how he’d learn of your insecurities. This is because sibling rivalry is not something uncommon among nobility 

 It tears families apart, literally. Just look at how things turned out between him and Miklan. Status and competition ripped his family to shreds 

He wants to be angry for you, but a part of him refuses. He basically feels as if he’s lost the right. It’s sad considering that his childhood wasn’t the greatest, but Sylvain feels that compared to the treatment Miklan received he got the better end of the bargain. He hates his crest, and how it pitted him against his brother. Yet he knows deep down that while Miklan was a jerk to him, the entire family treated his brother like garbage.

  Sylvain also knows that what happened with Miklan wasn’t his fault, and that nothing excuses how his elder brother treated him while they grew up. Yet...he doesn’t know what being on the short end of sibling comparison feels like. All his life he’s always been the one with the crest, the one to inherit the title, the one viewed as worthy, and while he hates the ‘crest privilege,’ Sylvain knows that life could have been different. Worse. 

He can’t have a heart-to-heart with his brother to talk it over either. Sylvain is aware he will never truly understand what Miklan was feeling. 

He doesn’t want that for you. Sylvain doesn’t want your fate to match his brother’s and depending on your relationship with them he might encourage you to reach out to your sibling. He is involved and actively trying to find a peaceful solution that will get you away from the negativity.

He’s there for you and sets aside his personal feelings on the topic to be a support pillar. This knowledge won’t avidly change how you two interact, but he does make it clear that you can always come to him when you’re feeling inadequate. You may feel many emotions, ones that he might not fully understand. Yet you will never be alone.

Felix:

 Your personal matters are not something Felix involves himself in often. He’s a firm believer of ‘privacy,’ and never pokes around in other peoples’ affairs. It’s unnecessary drama.

In other words: he views your relationship as two interlocked rings, sort of like a Venn diagram. You have your life, he has his, and whatever falls in the middle is what you two share.  

Except for serious issues. If you are ever in danger, suffering, frightened, anxious, ill, etc. he bypasses the rule of personal segregation and forces his way in. He has a protective streak that clouds his sense of judgement from time to time, so be prepared. His personal feelings might come across strong.

If it were a simple sibling squabble Felix would tell you to get over it, but if you confide in him whole heartedly the situation will escalate. He does not like seeing you broken. Not over something that could be avoided.

 You see, like Sylvain, this is a sore spot for Felix. His entire childhood he fought to break free from Glenn’s shadow and keep up with his friends. It left him emotionally tattooed with a failure complex, and his father’s behavior after Glenn’s death did not help. The difference is that it was himself doing the comparison, not his family. While Felix won’t openly say so, Rodrigue treated him with as much care as his brother. He was pushed to the best of his capabilities and the only one setting the expectations was himself.

He can’t comprehend why a parent would compare their children. To be so naive and insulting; he thinks they don’t deserve to have kids at all. Said thought filters into his solution to the problem.

He’s very direct with his involvement. If your family wants to behave like irresponsible twats then he will encourage you to separate from them. He’ll point out that family goes beyond blood, and that you don’t need negativity squandering your true potential. He’s certain that his father wouldn’t mind taking you in considering your relationship.

 (No, he’s not proposing. We all know that Rodrigue would bend over backwards if Felix actually reached out for a favor. And while it kills Felix on the inside to ask, you’re worth it)

I know, it’s irrational and not something one would expect from Felix. He’s not the type to go out of his way to help like this. If anything, people would assume that he’d push you to go make a life of your own or ignore your family and move on.

He does this because you’re the one in trouble, not anyone else. He wants you to focus on being your best self and knows bland words of encouragement won’t have anything beyond a temporary effect. Removing the source of the issue is the best solution and reaching out to his Father is a small price to pay for it.

Claude:

Claude handles the situation more from an observational standpoint in the beginning. He most likely can tell something is off with your home life long before you mention it. With the amount of time you both spend together he picked up on subtle hints easily. Shortly after your meeting he had also gathered information on your family, which sealed the deal.

Now he couldn’t just sit idly and watch you self-destruct. No, he needed to act somehow. Claude could never leave someone in such an unhealthy environment, let alone that person being his s/o. It’s just that family matters are a delicate situation that require as much tactical planning as the battlefield.

 He also is aware that information brokers can only tell him so much. Claude needs to hear the full story from you yourself, and to get that is much harder than it looks.

So, he waits. Eventually you’ll mention something that he can inquire further about. His pressing may upset you, possibly start an argument, but Claude knows it’s necessary. He doesn’t want you to feel as if he’s manipulating your every move, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Your mental health is no joke.

Claude will listen to you with full attention. No jokes, snide comments, interjections, etc. He just lets you pour everything out and absorbs it.

Then comes the contradictions. Anything negative you have to say about yourself will be shut down immediately. He knows that emotional scars like these cannot be healed with flattery, but that’s not what his goal is. His aim is temporary relief to stimulate critical questioning

He wants you to choose what to do next. Amidst the compliments he’ll ask questions like “‘why do you agree with them?” and “What do you want to do?”. Suddenly multiple resources are at your disposal and you have a smooth-talking golden boi ready to fly you off into the sunset. It’s all up to you. He just assures that no matter what your family says or does, you have the choice to move on and a herd of deer backing you up