#and he even remember how the met and kept the horoscope

[winnie-the-monster]

“Lorelai, this thing we’re doing here. Me and you. I just want you to know I’m in, I’m all in.”

[jeonqkooks]

isn't it romantic? | myg (01)

ENTRY ONE: Me Before You

⟶ SERIES MASTERPOST

Many things in life have a polar opposite: left and right, night and day, yin and yang, you and Min Yoongi... Hopeless romantic meets gloomy cynic. The only thing you seem to share is a magazine column but even then, you still can’t seem to understand how Yoongi can be called ‘The Love Doctor’ when he is the antithesis of everything love represents.

pairing: yoongi x f!reader; side/past taehyung x f!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genre/warnings: coworkers to lovers, magazine writers au, fluff, angst, eventual smut; central themes of cheating (not between yoongi and oc), swearing (a staple in this household 😗), one bit is a lilllll suggestive?, mentions of drinking, i think that's it hmmm, barely edited bc u know how we do

word count: 5.1k

note: this is the yoongi brainrot speaking !!! the banner for this entry is one of my all time favorite pics of him and i will find a way to use it in everything !!! but erhm yeah iir is officially starting and i'm very curious to see what y'all think about it 😗 please like it haha jk no i'm serious please like it it's my baby

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I waste my breath on a prayer, you don't care, I was never a part of your plan, You can't make a God of somebody, Who's not even half of a half-decent man.

I Burned LA Down - Noah Cyrus

Half your life, you hated blue.

You often associated it with so many bad things - loss, betrayal, loneliness. The great big storm. The end of life.

Most of the pigtails-wearing girls in your class disliked it because it was often a boy’s color. You hated it because of a stranger on a beach.

Then you discovered Blue Side (as ironic as the name was), the magazine that everybody and their mother was reading. There was this column - the Love Maze (as corny as it sounded) - that had your 15-year-old self hooked from the first article you read, “Flirty Pickup Lines to Text Your Crush”. It gave you a nice little distraction from the reality of your fucked up family.

You’d get home from school and dive right into it. You could count on the maze for a new article every day, covering all kinds of things - cute little quizzes, daily love horoscopes, relationship tidbits…

You started reading it religiously because it was stupid, and fun, but it was more than that too. They covered real-life stories of actual people, which you’d never really thought about. For the most part, it was tedious. Rekindling with an old flame whilst grocery shopping, accidentally spilling coffee on a stranger who then asked you out on the spot, etc. Things like that. You found them so… unremarkable. 

But then it went beyond that, when they told their stories looking back on years and years after that first happenstance. How there was love in the mundane. How there was love every single day, even on the bad ones. How there was a spark that two people cared for and nurtured into a warm fire that never burnt out.

How there was love.

How there was always love.

To you, that was magical. It was something you’d only ever heard about in fairytales when you were a kid.

You still remember the exact moment when it all changed for you.

You met Kim Taehyung during your third week at Blue Side, where you were a wide-eyed assistant editor who somehow wiggled her way into a position there, and he was an effortlessly charming graphic designer.

Admittedly, the first time that you two had ever talked, wasn’t under ideal circumstances. You were tucked away behind the office building, nails digging into your palms at 3PM on a sunny but freezing afternoon, willing your tears to stay where they belonged. You’d felt severely underqualified, like you were only flailing about, trying to keep your head above water but something kept pulling at your feet, not stopping until you were at the very bottom. People always talked about how your early 20s were the most beautiful and freeing years, when you could truly live and feel your youth blossom all around you. But that just wasn’t true. Those were the loneliest years of your life.

Taehyung had found you then, while he was out for a quick smoke break. He could’ve made a lame excuse and left, or simply pretended to not notice you were even there, but he stayed. He approached you and asked what was wrong. He offered you words of reassurance and encouragement even though you were nothing but a stranger to him.

You were touched by his simple act of kindness and his endearing smile. Maybe it’s because you’d never been offered much kindness throughout your life that his small gesture seemed like everything. In a way, it was everything. He looked like the kind of fairytale love that you’d only seen in movies, only read about in Love Maze. To this day, a part of you still thinks that you fell in love with him the very second he asked, “Are you okay?”

The timing felt right.

Taehyung felt right.

He, too, was like the sun in the middle of a cold and isolating winter.

You remember the color of his sweater, and it was then that you realized blue didn’t have to be so bad after all.

[15:39] You: what r u doing tonight?

[15:45] Tae ♡: probably just head home after the gym. play a couple matches with Jungkook. hope i don’t die boiling water for ramen and hit the hay early

[15:46] Tae ♡: miss you :(

[15:49] You: thanks

[15:52] Tae ♡: mean

[15:53] You: lol 😇

[15:54] You: i miss you too <3

[15:56] Tae ♡: can’t you come back earlier?

[15:58] You: there’s only a week left. you’re a big boy, u can handle it :)

That was a lie. You were already on the train when you sent him that text, bouncing your leg all the way back to the city at the mere thought of surprising him with your early return. You’d taken a leave from work to visit your family, spent some time somewhere quieter, away from the hustle and bustle of the big city.

You watch as the scenery passes by, fast-paced like you’re in a montage. The rest of forever is right around the corner. You wish you could skip to your happily ever after and not have to rewind the tape ever again.

When the diamond on your ring finger catches the sunlight coming from outside the window, you allow yourself a blissful sigh as you gaze at the jewelry adorning your hand. But if you’re being honest, it doesn’t fit anymore, at least that’s what you’ve noticed over the past month. It’s a little loose now, not quite noticeable but you can still make out the slight difference if you concentrate hard enough. You should get it resized soon, maybe later this week now that your schedule has cleared up earlier than expected.

Three weeks is a lot of time to spend around only your family, you realize. You thought you could do it - seeing that you hadn’t been back in a while - but the second you stepped foot into your childhood home, you remembered what a dysfunctional household you had.

It was nice while it lasted, which wasn’t very long. You did all you could, bit your tongue and tried to suppress that unresolved anger until it eventually became too much to handle. Your mom has always been a complainer. Nobody likes talking about it, but she’d bring up the same old shit almost every day even though you all know what happened. Your dad would just sit there and listen as she berates him in front of you and your sister, and you suppose he keeps quiet because there’s really nothing to be said in his defense. It was his crime, and this is his punishment.

Sometimes, you wonder why dad still stays. Sometimes, you wonder why mom still lets him.

You just wanted to go, even though this was supposed to be home. You want to leave every time you visit, and it’s a haunting feeling that keeps following you around your whole life. Why is home always a place you want to leave?

When you arrived back in the city, the first place you went to was Taehyung’s apartment. You lounged about, enjoying the much needed silence after two whole weeks with your family, killing time as you waited for your fiance to return from work.

You thought about you and Taehyung, and how your wedding was only months away but this was still his place. You wondered why you hadn’t moved in yet, though it wasn’t for a lack of trying on his part. Even though you spent most days of the week at Taehyung’s, you still had your own place.

Twenty minutes before he was usually supposed to come home, you ordered from his favorite restaurant, so he would have a proper meal once he was back, instead of half-assing his dinner with flavorless ramen like he’d planned. 

But Taehyung didn’t come back, and the food has been cold for hours now.

You glance at your phone again.

11:02 PM.

No new notifications.

The last message you sent him was around 8:30 - just a simple Whatcha doing? - but he hasn’t replied. 

There’s a small part of you that goes into a dark place, and you physically have to shake off the thoughts. Taehyung has never given you a reason not to trust him, but still, the wandering thoughts can’t help themselves. Is it insecurity, or paranoia? Or have you been programmed to be skeptical after everything that’s happened?

Maybe he’s just caught up with work. Maybe the guys at the office had last minute plans. Maybe Jungkook showed up unannounced and dragged Taehyung into one of his shenanigans again. There’s a lot of reasons to explain why he isn’t home when he said he would be.

You wait for him. Sometimes, waiting is all you can do.

You don’t get any indication of life until some time after midnight, when the door opens and you hear him stumble into the hallway. The first thing that escapes you is a sigh of relief - relieved that he’s home, safe and sound, and not out there somewhere doing things you would really not even let yourself imagine. You sit there on the couch, shrouded by darkness, now even more committed to making him squeal out of his skin after (unintentionally) making you wait for hours like that.

You carefully listen to the sounds coming from down the hall, trying to time when you’ll jump up and shock him.

There’s his shoes dropping to the floor carelessly. There’s some shuffling as he moves about, navigating his way through the dark. There’s a light thud, the sound of something hitting the wall softly.

A sharp intake of breath. His familiar groan, muffled. A whimper, feminine.

Your mind instantly blanks, and that nervous breath from before has suddenly found its way back into your lungs, growing in size until you stand up and say, “Tae?”

Somebody shrieks, and it’s neither you nor Taehyung.

When he switches on the lights, you don’t know what to focus on first - your fiance with his shirt unbuttoned, red lipstick smudged around the corners of his mouth; or the woman next to him with her back against the wall, hair disheveled, one strap of her pretty blue dress pulled down.

Huh.

If this was what you wanted, then you suppose you succeeded.

Taehyung stares at you, eyes blown wide, mouth opening and closing dumbly as he searches for words. “Y/N, I-” he stutters, “w-what are you doing here?”

You’ve seen this exact moment in movies, read it in books and online posts on the Blue Side forum from people seeking advice. You witnessed your own mother go through it when you had just learned how to read. 

Your nails dig into the palm of your hands as you steady yourself. You’re not sure what your face is showing, if it’s even showing anything at all. You’re being pulled apart in every direction. Things that you felt as a child are things you never wanted to feel as an adult. It’s not until now that you finally understand why mom hasn’t gotten over it, even though it’s been decades. This is the kind of hurt that chases you wherever you go, never relenting until it makes sure it has a home deep within your bones.

You inhale a shaky breath, and take a step back when Taehyung starts approaching you. “Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice cracking on the apology. 

You don’t want to hear any of it. You don’t want to be here anymore. For the second time today, you’re leaving home. For the second time in your life, home is being taken away again.

Somewhere in the back of your head, a tiny voice echoes, There it is.

You run out of there, feeling like the ceiling is going to collapse on you. You hear him call out your name, but his voice drifts further and further away as you move. Taehyung isn’t even following you. The faint scent of whiskey on his breath follows you out, but not him.

You keep moving until you’re out on the street, until you can’t even see the building anymore. You shiver from the chilly air, and the influx of emotions that threatens to make you burst. Lightning cuts across the night sky, flashing bright for a split second before everything dulls into darkness again. The forecast said it was going to rain tonight, you recall. Your phone in your bag vibrates the whole time, but still, no one follows you.

Your feet slow to a halt when the first drop of rain hits the ground. You’re not even sure how long you were walking, but now that you’ve stopped, you notice the shiver is gone. You’re standing completely still, and that those seismic waves in the center of your chest from earlier are nowhere to be found.

Oh. You’re doing it again.

Heavier drops start to dampen the earth.

You don’t know where else to go.

Not your own apartment. Not now. No, it’s too empty there.

Maybe it’s a sign from the universe, that you’re just undeserving of a place to belong.

You open your phone to find his name on your screen, next to the words (7) missed calls. You ring up the only person you can, and when she finally picks up, you say, “Can I come over?”

Even when your voice cracks, you don’t cry. The earthquake never comes.

Sohee takes you in like the good friend she is. You’re grateful that she was someone you could count on to always have your back at work, who then turned into one of your best friends outside of the office too.

She gives you some clothes to change into, and doesn’t question anything when you ask if you could spend the night. Though, you have a feeling that she knows who this is about. She leaves you alone to get some rest, but it’s probably because she has work in the morning too, and it was already 1:30AM when you interrupted her peace and quiet with the call.

You don’t sleep a wink that night.

Instead, you think about your mom, and how she must have felt when she found out about your dad’s infidelity, time and time again. It’s true what they say, children really don’t know a lot about their parents. 

How did she feel when she first found out? You can’t imagine what it must have been like, going through all of that while having two kids to think about too.

You feel bad that just yesterday, you’d been so annoyed with her that you cut your trip short.

Outside Sohee’s windows, the sky cries, like it’s grieving in place of you, its tears drowning the earth in waves of sorrow. For a moment, you consider stepping out there, to feel the rain on your face and in your hair. But in the end, you stay inside, where you’re sheltered and dry.

You don’t realize that the sun has risen until Sohee knocks on your - well, her - door. 

She cracks it open gently. “Babe?” she asks, tentative like you’re a cornered animal, ready to bolt at any given moment. “Are you up?”

You lie in her bed, feeling so foreign in your own skin. You reckon your eyes must be bloodshot from the lack of sleep. You haven’t even cried once.

“I’m alive,” you tell her, as you stare up at the ceiling. There are no stars here, just plain cream-colored paint.

“Okay,” you hear her say, then she pauses for a moment, clearly not knowing how to proceed. 

Sohee approaches you, sits on the bed, and gives you a smile. She pats your hair, and it reminds you of your sister. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong? I have some time before I meet Namjoon for breakfast.”

You sit up, reaching for your phone on the bedside table. It’s been switched off since you got here, and when you turn it back on, a flurry of texts light up the device until the screen lags. Messages from Taehyung, asking where you were, begging you to tell him if you were safe.

You open the texts to show him that you’ve read them. That should be enough of an answer.

You test the words in your mouth for a moment. “Taehyung cheated on me,” you say, thinking that if you verbalize it, it would be real and you would finally feel bad. That it was just a delayed reaction, that you were just too in shock to process anything. You want to feel bad, but it doesn’t work.

Sohee’s eyes widen almost comically. “Are you fucking serious?” she asks in disbelief, half because of the nature of the news itself, and half because of how calm you are.

“He cheated on me,” you repeat and still, nothing surfaces. If anything, it backfires. You can physically feel yourself doing it again - shutting down. “I caught him last night.”

You’re not sure what’s wrong with you. This isn’t a normal person’s reaction after they found out their fiance was cheating on them.

But.

It is a you reaction. 

You keep doing this, even when you don’t mean to. You ran away last night, and you’re running away now. Your body shuts out every negative emotion until you feel nothing at all. It’s stupid that you do this, and it’s stupid that you don’t know how to stop doing it.

Fight or flight, and you choose flight every time. Every single fucking time.

You wish you could give Sohee something, anything would do. Scream, cry, go back to your apartment to set fire to all of Taehyung’s belongings. Anything would be better than this complete lack of emotions you’re showing. 

You watch her face as it happens, things that you should be feeling but aren’t. She’s mostly shocked, angry, but not hurt. How could she? She wasn’t the one being played for a fool. You wish you could ask her to give you some of that anger, even if it’s only a fraction.

You don’t see Taehyung again until two days later, when he shows up at your door. Even when he’s standing in front of you, words spilling from his lips like prayers instead of apologies, you just feel… empty.

You let him inside, and the second that the door closes behind him, you fill up with unease. All your walls are up again, your system on high alert. Everything in your body is telling you that there’s an intruder in your space. Your feet are ready to bolt, just itching to get out of there Go, your head says, you’re not safe here.

Taehyung approaches you, tries to hold your hand, but you just shrug him off. The man in front of you visibly deflates, and despite the way his face falls, you don’t soften. 

The first thing he asks you is, “Why didn’t you cry?”

“What?”

“You don’t look like you’ve been crying,” he points out. “Did you cry?”

Reluctantly, you admit, “No.”

Then he just stares at you. When his judgmental gaze holds yours, you feel guilty. Guilty that you’re not mourning the death of this relationship. Guilty that you’re just letting it go, but the truth is you don’t have any fight in you. You don’t see the point in trying to salvage what’s no longer alive.

“Do you even love me?” His voice is hard when he asks this, like he’s trying to keep his anger at bay.

“Of course I love you,” you say, but it lacks conviction. You both know it. The words sound so flaccid coming out of your mouth.

But you love him.

You do.

Did?

“Then why didn’t you cry?”

How do you tell him that you can’t? That you don’t know how?

How do you tell him that if you could, you would reach inside and claw out your feelings like digging for water in a desert. 

What the hell is wrong with you? This isn’t a high school crush, or a casual summer fling.

You two were supposed to get married, for fuck’s sake. You were supposed to spend the rest of your life with him. If there’s anything that could make you break through those godforsaken defense mechanisms to let the hurt in, it should be this.

“Did you kiss someone else just to see if I would cry?” you ask. Your voice is even, and you can see that it makes Taehyung more frustrated than he already is.

He grits his teeth, exhaling. You notice his blue sweater, and you stop him before he can say anything else. Obviously, it looks a lot more worn than it did back then, but over the years you’ve always found it endearing. It’s the first memory that you have of him. It was always something you could cherish.

Now, you can’t even bear to look at it.

It’s then that you realize it doesn’t matter what answer he gives you. Yes? No? It genuinely doesn’t matter. There is nothing that can make you see him the same way ever again.

You run your thumb over the ring on your finger, twisting it for a moment to memorize the feel of it. It’s the last thing that ties you to him. “You can have this back,” you say, handing the piece of jewelry back to him.

When a relationship ends, especially for a reason like this, people tend to think it’ll go down in a kdrama-esque fashion - crying, slapping, throwing water in the other person’s face. But that’s not what this is. It’s not cathartic; sometimes the end of a relationship is just a fizzle, doesn’t even make it to a fullburn. It might be unsatisfying, but it happens every day. It’s not always a pivotal point; sometimes it’s just a point.

Taehyung stares at the object in his palm. “That’s it?” he asks in disbelief. “We’re breaking up?”

“What else is there to do?”

“You’re not even gonna ask me anything? Who she was, how it started, how long it’s been going on?”

The other morning, Sohee had asked you to elaborate after you told her what happened, but there was just not that much to tell. You were there. He brought someone else home. End of story.

It was enough for Sohee to call him every name in the book and curse his entire bloodline though.

You suppose that’s a reasonable reaction. Taehyung cheated. You never thought he was a person capable of doing that. Three years of your life, down the drain. There’s nothing left to save.

“Okay,” you shrug tiredly, like you’re just having a casual and dull conversation about the weather. “Who was she? How did it start? How long has it been going on?”

Your name comes out of his mouth, sounding like a scoff. “Ask it like you mean it.”

“But I don’t mean it,” you say. “What difference does it make? Knowing doesn’t change the fact that you still cheated on me. You know what I’ve been through and you still fucked it up. You did the worst thing you could ever do to me.”

“Fuck, I know that!” he groans, throwing his hands up. “I messed up badly, and I’m sorry. Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry. I will never deny that what I did wasn’t wrong. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re to blame for this too? You never want to admit that it could be your fault too.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You tell me. I keep having to put up with your baggage.” Then he shuts right up, barely even makes it through the last syllable before he’s squeezing his eyes shut for a second, clearly realizing that out of all the things he could’ve said, that was grossly out of line. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean th-”

And now you’re getting angry for the wrong reasons.

“You cheated but somehow it’s my fault, right?” you snap. “Boohoo. Sorry that you’ve had to put up with me all these years. I’m such a burden, right? Fuck you, Taehyung.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“I think you should leave.”

You think it’s the steel in your voice as you say this that makes him stop arguing. 

He holds your gaze for a moment longer. You’re someone who tears up when you see stray dogs, who cries alongside the fictional characters in your favorite show. And yet, as you watch your own fiance leave…

The door clicks shut as he exits your life, but everything he said stays behind, clings to your walls and festers like mold.

The second you step onto the floor, everyone grows quiet. Lively chatter turns into hushed whispers. People go back to making their morning coffee, side-eyeing each other in a way that’s not meant to be very subtle.

You quietly make your way to your desk, all the while feeling the nosy pairs of eyes on you as you walk. You don’t know how word got out, but you were sure that everyone would know eventually. You just didn’t expect it’d be this soon. Sohee would never do that to you, and you highly doubt that Taehyung would go around broadcasting his infidelity. 

As you set your stuff down, you make eye contact with the new intern who sits a few spots away from you. You haven’t had the chance to talk to her much, but she’s a nice girl. She gives you a small smile in greeting, and even though you know she doesn’t mean to pity you, you can still see it in her eyes.

A minute later, Sohee comes up to you. “Hey, babe,” she says, leaning on your desk with two plastic cups in her hands. One iced latte and one mango smoothie. She puts the yellow-colored beverage down and nudges it toward you, a little lackluster and unlike her usual playful self.

“Thanks,” you say, taking the smoothie with a smile, commenting, “Interesting morning so far. Never thought I’d ever be the subject of office gossip.”

“Yeah, about that. Do you know who was Taehyung’s… uhm… y’know?”

It’s okay. She can say it. You can handle it.

You already feel nothing, and there’s nothing you can even do to rectify it. Might as well lean into it, right?

Or maybe you should just go to therapy.

“No,” you tell her. “I didn’t want to know.”

“Well, uhm, now that the whole office knows, I think you should hear this from me first…” Sohee bites her bottom lip as she gauges your reaction. When you only sigh and give her the go-ahead, she continues, “It was Yura from Marketing.”

“What?”

“Yura from Marketing. You know the one. Brought muffins for the whole office on her first day? A little too bubbly for my taste. But yeah, she was at work the other day and suddenly burst into tears at, like, 10AM, and that’s how everybody found out.”

Of course. Even though people here are surrounded by celebrity gossip on the daily, nothing beats the good old-fashioned office affair. Why bother with celebrity gossip when you have front row seats to live drama unfolding ten feet away?

You take a sip of your smoothie, swallowing down the inkling of irritation that tickles the back of your throat. “Well,” you say, “I’m glad the downfall of my relationship is like a circus animal for them to gawk at. Can’t wait until they move onto the next big thing.”

“Honestly, it might blow over sooner than you think. The Love Doctor is back today.”

“What?” Your ears perk up at the mention of his name, glancing up at her in surprise as you put your drink down. “Doesn’t he work at the Paris office?”

“He used to work here. We joined around the same time. Then he transferred to Paris a few years ago. Nobody even knows why. One day he just upped and left.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he’d be here? I didn’t have time t-”

“Calm down, sweetcheeks, I only just found out,” Sohee chuckles, holding a finger against your mouth to shush you. “We all know you used to have a major lady boner for him.”

“I do not.” You don’t even know what he looks like, just his name when it appears in the byline of an article. “I admire him.”

Which is true, you do admire him. He’s your own version of a freaking rockstar. Though, you have to admit that Love Doctor is a huge cliche of a nickname, and significantly reduces the scope of his brilliance. The way that man writes makes it seem like he’s experienced lifetimes and is now here to pass on his wisdom. 

He doesn’t feel like a mere magazine writer like yourself. There’s something in his words that turns you inside out, makes you experience things that you’ve never even gone through. He flows like poetry, and leaves you stunned every time.

Okay, maybe you do have a lady boner, but for his brain.

Which… is probably something you should never say out loud.

Someone walks in then, a man you’ve never seen before. He looks around your age, if not a couple of years older. He bypasses all of the other desks without saying anything, not a single Hi or Good morning. He doesn’t look like the type to speak if not spoken to.

Then he walks over to where you and Sohee sit, and sets his bag on the empty desk next to yours.

You look at Sohee, and she just shrugs.

It can’t be him. Surely, it’s not…?

“Min Yoongi,” she says in greeting.

Oh, it is.

He spares her a nod before he looks away again. “Sohee.”

Is that the Parisian way? Is that how people normally greet someone they haven’t seen in years? Sohee and him were only colleagues, but still, the least you could do is pretend.

You’re not one to judge a book by its cover, but c’mon, seriously? Were you wrong for expecting the person who writes about love in its most raw and beautiful form to look… not like Grumpy Cat personified? It makes you even more fucking intimidated. And he’s going to be sitting next to you? The fuck?

As he sits down, you blink, still a bit dazed, not sure how to process this. Sohee gently pushes you forward, which makes you nearly stumble right into him. You turn to her with a glare, but she just motions to him, mouthing ‘Go on.’

You clear your throat, wiping your hand on your pants before you hold it out. “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you say, trying to sound as professional as you can. “I’m really looking forward to working with you.”

He glances at you, and reaches out to meet your outstretched hand in a barely-there handshake. “Yoongi.”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 07.05.2023]

[say-narry]

Note: English isn’t my first language. Hope you all like it. Please, give me your opinion with a reblog, fav or a note in my askbox :)

pairing: Louis!peaky blinders era x reader

warnings: explicit sex, unprotected sex (don't do that!), curse words, daddy kink, overstimulation, dirt talk, mention of jealousy, mention of astrology.

Words: 4k

talk with me | masterlist

Astrology

In my spare time I loved to read about astrology. It was a habit I adhered to since I was a teenager and now as an adult, it was my secret cringe.

So many times, the things described there met the personality traits of someone I knew and that made me believe it even more.

Sure, there were some holes in the script, but I had been in this world forever, so I just ignored that and kept it as a supposed truth and that was only affirmed when I met Louis.

Friends in common, I liked the way his accent sounded, a few drinks here and there, we shared the lighter to light the cigarette and ended up kissing at the end of the party at Calvin's house.

That was a year ago now.

I already knew all his quirks and as Louis lived more at my place than at his mansion here in London, he had to follow my rules, which was a little difficult even though he is Capricorn. Lately it was complicated to deal with him, because he seemed to ignore me and my weekly horoscope had already said that my relationship would be shaken by the smallest things and that I should be careful.

"Babe, don't leave your shoes like that. I already asked for them!" I complained as I placed our shoes side by side by the door. This was one of his manners that annoyed me deeply. "My friends will be here soon!"

"Nah." he muttered, not even looking at me.

I snorted and rolled my eyes, going to check the cheese and chocolate fondue I was preparing.

My friends Peter, Anne, Sam and Paul were coming over for happy hour. I am on vacation at work, an accounting office, so this is a perfect opportunity to hear what's new.

"Babe, is there any way to go to that grocery store down the street? I forgot that Anne has a gluten allergy and forgot to buy the gluten-free bagel." I stirred the melted cheese in the small pot on the stove.

No response from Louis.

Because my house is small, there's no way he couldn't hear me. I stretched my body back a little and in my half vision through the door, I could see that Louis was still concentrating on the smartphone game while gnawing on the corner of his left thumb.

I took another deep breath, it seemed that Louis became a child watching the games on the device and this was another flaw of his sign's characteristic, however I knew he was loyal and domineering, which eventually gave me an idea.

I turned off the stove and wrapped the fondues, putting them in the electric oven in warm-up mode so that they would not cool down.

My friends would arrive in half an hour, it was time to put my idea into practice.

I grabbed my purse, checked the pounds in my wallet, put on a sweatshirt and ran to the door.

"Luv, where are you going?" Louis asked without looking at me.

"Grocery store, babe." I put on my moccasins and closed the door.

It was dusk and for a change London was cold, for as soon as I passed the small gate in my driveway I sped to the grocery store.

As luck would have it, I found the guys a few meters from my house and ran to hug them.

"How are you, Y/N?" Sam, the blond girl with freckles and green eyes asked me as she released me from her hug.

"Fine! But I need a little help from all of you, specifically you, Paul and Anne." I pointed to them, who were inches away from me.

My couple of friends looked at me, Paul was a tall man with blue eyes, a muscular body and a beard. He was dating Anne, a tall, beautiful black woman with curly hair and honey-brown eyes with a mouth to envy.

"What happened?" Anne asked.

I explained to them that Louis seemed to be ignoring me as if I was just someone else working for him, but that he was the dominating type and so I wanted to tease him and see if we should continue with this relationship or if he was just distracted.

"I swear it won't go any further than that, I love Louis very much but this is killing me." I held the brown paper bag against me.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Peter suggested.

"Louis is a Capricorn, you know how it is. When he focuses on something, that's it." I rolled my eyes.

"That's fine with me, it will be fun watching a music star want to kill me because his wife wants me." Paul grabbed the bag from my hands and winked at me, and we laughed.

"It's fine with me too, you know I find it sexy to see men jealous." Anne winked at Paul, who closed his face, causing us to let out a few more low chuckles.

"I think there's a way we can help too." Sam put his arm around my neck and held Peter by the waist.

I had the best friends in the world.

"He simply came in halfway through the meeting with a huge mark on his neck. Emily wanted to climb the walls!" Peter commented on our co-worker.

We were all sitting on the floor of the room with the creams and fondue mixes on the coffee table. Louis was on my right side with black sweatpants and the jacket I loved so much, Paul was on my left side, next to him was Anne followed by Peter and Sam.

"But we know why Tom's nights out..." Sam looked at me suggestively and then looked at Anne. I straightened up waiting for what was to come.

Louis followed the conversation, sometimes hugging me around the waist and offering me something to eat. I just helped myself to a glass of red wine.

"Why?" Anne asked as if she didn't understand.

"Oh, you know, since the S/N went on vacation he has been gloomy, seems to have forgotten how to do calculations on the spreadsheets, and gets sad at lunchtime." Sam replied, alternating his gaze between Louis and me.

Louis, who was serving himself a piece of bread and cheese, grimaced, but said nothing.

"It's true, we know he's not over it yet."

I had the glass in my mouth trying to hold back the laugh I wanted to give.

"Get over what?" Louis asked me with a frown and I arched my shoulders, pretending not to know what they were referring to.

"Tom is in love with Y/N, Louis. Ever since she came to the office, he only has eyes for her." Anne answered by pouring herself some strawberry slices and pouring the melted chocolate on top. "You know, alluring and attractive men don't get over it so easily when they are dumped by a beautiful woman."

My eyes were watering from holding back tears of laughter. It was funny to imagine this situation, since Tom was a very well married gentleman, father of three children, and would soon be a grandfather.

"I'm going to get some more wine." I pushed myself to get up, because I needed to release the laughter that was stuck in me.

"I'll get it, babe." Paul took the glass from my hand, passing his hand through mine and stood up.

"Oh, thank you Paulie!" I smiled and sat back down.

Louis's face was red, he chewed angrily and stared at me. His blue eyes fixed on me in an uncomfortable way, as if he were reading my thoughts.

"What's up, babe?" I asked as Anne, Sam and Peter talked among themselves, I tried to stroke his face but he turned away.

"Nothing." he nodded, and I narrowed my eyes.

Paul returned with my full glass, I took it and thanked him again. Since I was sitting only on the carpet, I decided to do a little stretching. Purposefully, Paul looked at the open buttons of my black blouse that was thin and skinny long. Unconsciously, it was tighter than I usually wore which highlighted my breasts covered by the bra.

Louis seemed to notice, he huffed and ran his hand through his hair. I just ignored him and pretended to pay attention to my friends' conversation.

I felt his arm going around my shoulders and a few kisses on my neck, and I simply held myself together not to react, but it was so good his affection.

"We were talking about Tom before and now I remembered, can you believe that every day he comes into your office and wipes down your desk and computer?" Sam was sharp in the theater, I just wanted to thank her for that.

"And I'll tell you something else, he takes his shoes off before he comes in. " Peter continued.

Broadway was losing these actors to an accounting office. Louis leaned back on one of the sofas and crossed his arms with a brave expression.

"Tom has always been very nice to me." I commented, swirling the rest of the wine in my glass. "But I don't know..."

"I don't know, Y/N?" Louis spoke a little louder, turning his face abruptly to me.

"Yes, Tom is a nice guy but he is the kind of guy who ignores things I say, he was not organized and sometimes we almost missed deadlines... If he is like that at work, who will say to have a relationship with him."

I drank the rest of the wine and almost saw Louis erupt.

"Nothing beyond that stays between you?" I looked at Sam, who put his hand over his mouth, holding back his laughter, as did Anne, Paul, and Peter.

"Nah. " I repeated Louis' murmur from earlier and repeated his motion, leaning back against the couch behind me.

He ran his fingers through his bangs and chuckled gracelessly, denying it with his head. I narrowed my eyes in surprise at his reaction.

"It's getting late isn't it? Want some help cleaning up, petal?" Paul stroked my arm.

"I'll help my girl, Paulie." Louis imitated my voice when I called him and stared at Paul's hand on my arm, moving his mouth as if he were dissatisfied.

We talked some more, Louis was still silent and crossed his arms, his legs intertwined with each other and swinging rapidly.

I knew that Louis was about to explode, so I said goodbye to the guys who thanked me for the evening. Paul gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. They motioned for me to tell them by text what was going to happen, I silently agreed and closed the door.

Louis had gotten up and was removing things from the coffee table. I started to organize the room and finished taking the last dishes to the sink.

"You and this Tom guy, have you ever had anything?" Louis was sponging one of the dishes. His sleeves were rolled up, which gave me a view of the tattoos on his wrist that I liked so much.

I poured myself the rest of the wine and leaned back against the sink where he was standing.

"We only went out together once." Which was true, but it was with the rest of the office and nothing happened because his wife accompanied us and I saw him as a father or even an uncle. I would stay in my tantrum, yes, he was the one who should end his.

"Hm." Louis answered.

"Why the question?"

Louis remained silent, washing the dishes as if it were the most fun thing in the world.

"Louis? If I asked a question, I want an answer." I said angrily, tired of the tantrum.

He continued in silence. I took a deep breath trying to oxygenate my brain and continued to stare at him.

I drank the rest of the wine and left the glass in the sink. I walked slowly to the door, still trying to remain calm.

"Where are you going?" Louis asked.

I just turned and smiled, raising my two middle fingers in his direction.

"Fuck you!" I shouted nervously, pointing at him.

Without waiting for his response, I headed towards my room, but within three steps I felt something pulling me, two cold, wet hands.

Louis might be shorter than most men, but he still possessed great strength.

In one swift movement, I felt him turn me around and my back hit the wall to my right and my head bounced, causing me to grunt in pain.

Louis pressed his body against mine, my hands went up to push his chest.

"I don't want to talk, Louis." I said annoyed, almost in tears already.

"What's up, luv? Your babe wants to know... "Louis brushed his nose across my neck, soon after caressing my face by turning and pulling it slightly to the opposite side, my eyes automatically closed."What were those teasing things earlier?"

My body stiffened, I couldn't hide anything from him.

"Let go of me. " I asked, still pushing him slightly, but it came out more like a groan.

Louis let out a small laugh and began to distribute wet kisses down my neck, sometimes my body betrayed me and shivered.

Louis's right hand, which previously held my waist, lifted my blouse to gain access to the skin of my belly and with a rush, held my right breast, massaging it lovingly.

"I'm sure my girl is getting wet..." His warm breath hitched against the cartilage of my left ear. "You like to tease me by showing off those luscious breasts, but in the end you're all mine, aren't you?"

I groaned as if in agreement. My hands, which before had been pushing her breasts, had moved to her back, scratching the white fabric.

"Who's my little whore? Hm?" His teeth went to my jaw, scraping it lightly, and then down to my neck where I felt pressure being applied.

Oh, hell! He was marking me.

"I-I-I..." I answered weakly and brushed my crotch against his.

My body arched and I held on to his arms, I could already feel the throbbing in between my legs as they buckled.

"My silly little girl!" He moved a few inches away from me and I opened my eyes, staring at Louis's long lashes in front of his blue orbs that were almost covered by his dilated pupils. "I saw what you did with the whole Tom and Paulie thing."

When I regained consciousness, I bit my lower lip and smiled mischievously, returning my hands to his back.

"What are you going to do about it, stud?" I teased.

Louis's hands went around my waist as he made a point of kissing me fiercely and hotly. My hands grabbed his face, pulling him to me, afraid that he would just stop and leave me there, hot and needy for his touch.

His hands went down to unbutton my jeans and unzip me. I let out a moan in anticipation and I could feel him smile in the middle of the kiss.

Louis pulled away from me and spun me around, placing me face down against the wall.

"Louis..." I moaned softly, thrusting my ass toward him.

I felt his pelvis fit over my ass and his member was already hardening, I tried to make more contact, but his hands on my waist stopped me.

"I know, luv... I want you too." I felt his chest against my back as I closed my eyes and rested my head on the wall and pressed my hands against it, trying to support myself. "I want to feel your pussy squeezing my cock as I fuck you very slowly, because I know you like to feel my cock pulsing in you."

I was already dizzy, biting my lower lip trying to hide my moans, until Louis pulled away and his hands hooked on the hem of my jeans and pulled them down.

"Spread your legs, Darlin'"

I did as he cried out, with a little difficulty because my jeans were still binding my legs and the state of my panties was embarrassing.

His hand slid up and down my ass, and then slapped me with his open hand, which made me jump in surprise.

"My girl doesn't like to be neglected, huh?" Shivers ran through me, my breathing was heavy and my brows furrowed and more slaps came, making my skin burn and my eyes water. "You get needy for my cock when I don't fuck you, don't you?"

In one swift act, my panties were keeping company with my jeans. I pushed my hips even higher, rubbing one leg against the other in an effort to relieve the agony my clit felt.

"Daddy will take care of you, luv!" I heard some noises and then the glorious sensation of Louis's hot tongue running over my pussy.

"Louis!" I moaned loudly and his breath hitched against my exposed intimacy as he let out a laugh. His hands grabbed my thighs and spread them even further apart, leaving me wide open for him.

Louis's tongue ran from my sensitive spot to my entrance, sucking and licking. I swayed my hips trying to get closer, but whenever I did he laughed and ran just the tip of it all the way over. My eyes rolled back and a vibration came in the pit of my stomach.

He didn't last long there, but the sound of my wetness clicking on his tongue was something out of reality.

"Babe, please..." My right arm kept pushing against the wall while my left was bent and I massaged my breasts, trying to relieve myself somehow.

"What's wrong, kitten?" Louis groaned and blew against me.

I turned my head to the side and Louis had stood up, taking off his sweatpants along with his underwear and his white jacket, and threw them on the floor beside us.

"Daddy..." I murmured.

Louis' member was hard, and with the glans of his member shiny and pink, his left hand wrapped around it, going up and down slowly. Louis stroked my ass with his free hand, his lower lip was biting and his head eventually fell back as he sighed.

He knew how sexy I found the veins in his hands tensing up and showing as he played with his cock. The tattoos on his wrist added a special touch.

"Lucky for you I want to get it over with, luv... Otherwise you'd have to beg me to fuck you..." He spoke as his cock touched me, dragging and teasing me, making me almost fall to my knees on the floor. "I'm going to fuck your little pussy so hard, babe? I want to hear you moan for the rest of the night, do you want to feel my cock all the way in here?" His finger ran across my entrance, giving me mini shocks in that area.

I mumbled the only sound left in my throat. I turned my face forward and leaned my forehead against the wall. He knew how much I melted for his dirt talk.

My arm against the wall was aching, my forehead was sweaty, and my legs were almost giving way from the way they trembled.

Louis launched himself inside me without warning, burying his wet member until his balls slammed against my clit.

A scream tore through my throat, my nails digging into the wall. Louis didn't even give me time to get used to it, he immediately began thrusting against me. Back and forth, thrusting hard and trying to go all the way in. I was panting as was he, my eyes still closed, enjoying his member filling me.

I turned my face to the side opening my eyes and I could cum right there at the sight, my heart throbbed even more seeing Louis with his nails digging into my hips, his tattooed chest and arms tensed tightly and his head relaxed back with his mouth ajar.

"Fuck!" My eyelids fluttered and I could feel the anguish in my uterus rising.

"My girl is so hot, so warm and tight ... oh!" Louis went down again and if it wasn't for the euphoria, I could feel him almost ripping me in half with his cock slamming against my uterus.

I tilted my head back and one of Louis' hands grabbed my loose hair and formed a sort of ponytail. His hand forced my neck, causing my body to arch and my ass to bulge even more.

My back began to ache as his hipbones crashed against my muscles, he had never caught me this way before and I was already addicted to it. Louis let go of my hair and went back to kneading the sides of my hips.

I put my arm in front of me and bit down on it, feeling my face hit him lightly with the thrusts, my throat aching with the moans, and Louis murmured my name as he tried to sink even deeper inside me.

"Whose pussy is this, babe? Who fucks it hard and the way you like it?" Louis, still not stopping his thrusts, rotated his hips and a wave of ecstasy hit me at the cervix. My pussy clenching rapidly, I was getting there. Louis fucked me so fast that I couldn't even scream.

"You, babe! Only you, Louis!" I spoke softly and felt him kiss me on my back.

"Are you sure, babygirl?" Louis teased and again I felt his chest against my spine.

His cock was halfway out of me and seconds later I was already missing him, which didn't last long as I pushed my hips back against him, burying his cock back into me. I stood on my tiptoes and his member reached the hidden spot that Louis sometimes managed to reach.

"Come on my cock, babe! Because I'm going to mark you, fill you with my milk... Do you want it, my naughty little girl?"

My breath came out of my lungs in a sharp intake of breath. My body exploded inside, shuddering as Louis forced himself to orgasm. Small jolts ran through me, and the ground no longer seemed to be beneath my feet.

My man's nails sank into my skin, his thrusts became sloppy and a loud moan came from Louis' chest, his cock swelled even more inside me and I felt hot spurts fill me, joining my liquid. He groaned loudly and his hands gripped my waist tightly, easing the grip seconds later. Violent trembling came over my knees, causing me to close my eyes in shame as Louis continued inside me and hugged me from behind.

"What's up, Luv? Did I hurt you?" He pushed my hair away from my sweaty, flushed face. Louis kissed the top of my head and I could feel some shocks from the orgasm still being delivered and the delicious feeling of having him inside me.

I nodded positively and then negatively, answering his questions.

"Sorry about the last few days, I was so distracted, thinking about the new album, and then I realized that I didn't do the right thing to the point where my perfect girl insinuated herself to our friend and they talked about some guy at work."

"How did you find out?" I lay my face against the wall, feeling the frosty, chilling cold on my face. I was tired, almost closing my eyes.

"I know you, darlin'... You can't lie, your sign says so."

I covered my face in shame that he knew my shameful secret. Louis pulled his member out of me and already I felt it go limp, Louis tightened his embrace around my buttocks and his arms wrapped around mine, tucking me in.

"Thanks for not giving up on your Capricorn. He'll pay more attention to his girl."

I nodded and turned around, kissing him slowly, feeling his tongue caress mine calmly and tenderly. He was everything to me, giving him up would be the last thing I would ever do.

I pulled away still hugging him and could see his sweaty bangs.

"Thanks for the sex against the wall, it was amazing." I blinked, placing a kiss on his chin.

"Maybe tomorrow you'll rethink it." His face turned into a smile, kissing my cheeks.

I stared at him even longer, not understanding his statement.

"Uh... I may or may not have left some... marks." He gave me his best puppy dog face, squeezed my ass, and kissed my neck lightly.

I rolled my eyes eagerly to see these possible marks.

"All right, they're marks from my Capricorn..." I said, kissing him and jumping on his lap. "But if you ignore me again, you won't have sex against the wall or anywhere else." I shook his shoulder to get his attention and he agreed.

"No more Capricorn stuff!" He promised, raising his right hand.

Astrology thing or not, I loved the guy standing in front of me.

[mamafishfound]

Leon: The Rabid Lion and Astrology

Alright finally got to posting this I'm sorry it took so long a lot was going on with the Cornovirus stuff and my husband had issues with his green card and can't find it which we had no luck finding but alas thats a unrelated issue to the post. So here we are for the long awaited Star Crossed Myth and Astrology post

The Leo Archtype

Leo is ruled by the sun and rules the 5th house, the house of creative expression, arts, hobbies,children, and ect. Leo energy shines the brightest when it is in your sun sign and many famous Leos tend to pursue theater careers and are stereotyped as dramatic and attention-seeking. In a way when we first met Leon, he instantly was all like " you do what i say woman" and magically took her up in the sky to show her the stars. Logically speaking he was just trying to convince her he and the rest of the gods were for real not just trying to kidnap her XD, but the way he did all that was very dramatic and theatrical hahaha. So right off the bat, Leon was very Leo like ASSHOLE edition. In my experience, Leo placement folks are rather generous expressive and kind and although they appear to be self centered, they are kind to their friends and love to share the spotlight. Leon I guess is the kind of Leo who is sick of all this attention due to his powers (if you consider it a power hehe) and thus he wanted to withdraw himself from others and used his powers to appear dominate and in control. Leo energy is very much all about keeping up their reputation and the bad apples of the signs can come across arrogant and egoistic, which Leon shows right off the bat in his route and other routes. Leon's whole purpose is to erase his sin of rejecting true love. Leo archetype is all sharing and expressing love so Leon is basically an unevolved Leo that need to find love for himself once more. Leon was always hard on himself and due to his guilt of indirectly causing a goddess to fall from grace... I don't blame him.

Leon hides the very dark and sad feelings he has and its up to the MC to help him rediscover the true beauty and essence of love. Love does correlate with creative expression that the archetype is all about and I don't blame the king of the heavens casted him away. Leon shouldn't just waste away in self doubt and hide it in shield of aggressiveness and arrogance. Fixed signs in general can have a hard time being open to different perspectives in morale and values and when they are fixed in one way to view the world its a bit of a challenge for them to change it up. This isn’t the say all fixed signs are narrow-minded but when they do change its almost like they go through a metamorphosis and they are better then ever.

Leo is a fire sign and its also fixed, so passion and self expression is strong and upfront. I only met a few introverted Leos and even they have a certain type of stubbornness that is unmatched. Leon takes several chapters to admit his downfalls and give love one more shot. He didn’t believe in true love because all he saw was goddesses lust for his sex and power, so he came to one conclusion that love is not real and he wanted to change the heavens to see through his own image. He even attempted to overthrow the king and take his place. He was someone who thought highly himself and wanted his way only. Its no wonder he is the leader in his department due to his power and charisma that the Leo archetype is all about.

once Leon opened up his cold heart to MC then he is absolved of his sin and he can fully represent the Leo sign. He still is a bit controlling dominate and sadistic (which is why we all secretly love him for hehe) but after he reaches his revelation in love he is more caring generous and kind to the MC. He definitely did a 180 and was more daring and love struck which i can see in Leo placements in general. Leo energy is also known to be wildly sexual and hot and heavy in the bedroom. Leon in some side stories and sequels to his story he definitely is known as an amazing sex god.

The 5th House

This house in astrology is associated with our creative endeavors, hobbies, casual flings, self-expression, and artistic talents. This house is how we standout (or don't standout?) in this world compared to others or audience we are "performing" to. Leo energy is said to be the performers of all the signs so we can imagine that this energy desires to shine through. Leon is the main guy in this story and its no wonder, since he is the route who "outshines" the rest of the guys. Kidding of course LOL, but if you saw the interview of one of the writers of the story, she appeared a bit thirsty for Leon when discussing his storyline. He kept trying to paint the Heroine to be so into him when she got embarrassed over seeing him and Teo having an "orgy" ( like they were just messing around but basically it appeared to be like that LMAO) and even pointed out their bet on the Heroine to be curious and want to "watch their performance". Perhaps she did want to secretly see it but to be accused of such can be humiliating haha. I understand that since I'm a 12th house person ( I'll go over that on Ichthy's analysis if you are unfamiliar with the houses in astrology) I tend to hide my true colors and myself out of shame and insecurity and so seeing Leon being so arrogant and so full of himself rubs me the wrong way and it explains why hes one of my least favorite characters, because he represents everything i shame myself to feeling. Arrogance and cockiness can be seen in the 5th house but remember that is only shown if the said individual is enabled to do so.

Leon represents the side of this house with casual flings and self-expression. He is the head minister of the Wishes department, and even though he acts like he could care less, he is very passionate of his role. All the gods under his department respect him despite his blatant affairs. The fifth house is all about living life to the fullest and expressing ourselves in a way that makes us feel special and unique. The sun rules this house and its no wonder because the sun is the brightest star in our solar system. Leon knows this and it seems he is tired of this yet he still enjoys having the limelight still. This is very stereotypical of Leo energy in general but I feel Leon is just bored of simply getting attention just because he wants to gain attention being unexpected and challenges the King for it by attempting to take his power. I think side stories or his POV route goes over this more but Leon is tired of playing by the rules and he wants to go extreme in order to feel more "alive". From what i heard from others regarding his second season stuff and other side stories, his route is all about the DRAMA and its no wonder he's pushed to be the front man of the game....we all love a hot and dramatic story line for our daily otome hahaha (and if you don’t well....ajfklajlfjakljflajjaklajlGAJJJ lol jk do you boo).

Children also represent this house and normally its associated with your relation with children or how you are as a child. This house also might cue in about your own children if you chose to have any that is. There is a saying that says " Children brighten our world" which is fitting considering what makes us stand out and "bright" is what this house is all about. Leon is not necessarily a big fan of children (unless side stories of his reveal otherwise) but his dramatic and unfiltered comments to the Heroine can be deemed "childlike". Someone correct me but he and Partheno are the only routes that its confirmed the Heroine get preggers right? If not then what i am about to say is invalid but its no wonder Leon's route gets the married with a baby ending. I wonder how he would be as a father? I bet he will shower his child with love tender and care but would also push his child to be the best version of themselves. People in general with personal planets in the 5th house if they decide to have kids, are very good parents and would be the fun mom or dad that encouraged their kids to reach their dreams.

Planets in Leo

Okay so we talked about the archetype of Leo and the house placement and a bit of its ruling planet (the sun) of Leo as well. Now for planet placements. I will only be focusing on the 9 planets astrologers study just to keep things simpler. If anyone wants more of my take on other placements such as Chiron, North node, or even Lilith, let me know I will make a separate post for that. In a birth chart the moment you were born its made by the exact placement the planets are at the time. The sun sign is normally what horoscopes go over but did you know that Venus mars and other planets impact you even more? Since the gods rule their own sign, we can assume their birth chart is all in one sign haha. So I will be going over how Leo energy is played in each planet and how its shown in the entire main story for Leon's route.

Sun in Leo

The sun is considered our sole purpose in our life time. It also is the part of us that is our over all theme of our personality and life choices. It also is what we want to become in the future. The sun sign is normally what horoscopes focus us but the sun sign is only like a summary to our life long autobiography. Sun in Leo is Leo's true home planet and its easier to pick out Leo sun folks especially if their sun sign is positioned between the 1st and 5th houses. Leon is very much the staple of Leo with his arrogance, confidence and need to be dramatic. Though at times he tries to act like he could care less, its soooo obvious he does care about being the center of the Heroine's attention even in the begining of his route XD.

Moon in Leo

The moon sign is known as the "dark side" of your personality. The moon is the hidden sense of self that only your close loved ones or significant others experience. The moon is also associated with the mother or women in your life. The moon is how we react and how we internalize our emotions as well. Most astrologers will look at your moon sign and might come up with what kind of mother or mother figure that raised you, since the mother is the parent that teaches and nurtures us and our emotional well being. Since there was no talk about Leon's parents in the main story (maybe in side stories? ) we will talk about how Leon expresses himself emotionally and how his emotions change based on how the Heroine interacts with him as they get to know each other. I really saw his moon shine when he saw how the Heroine was passionate about helping Her best Friend Hyori's romance life. Normally Leon acts like he could care less but he was being inspired by the Heroine's persistence to make Hyori and her bf to get along again after a big fight. Another example was when Leon openly gives respect to the Heroine in teaching him love and its real meaning. Well go over that more in the Venus section. his emotions are volatile and responds when the heavens started to go against him. Leo moon folks normally are vibrant and warm folks and are good at sharing the lime light over Leo sun folks. Leon even thanks and acknowledges the Heroine for being so strong in the forbidden ending which is the epiphany of how Leo moons show their feelings.

Mercury in Leo

The mercury sign is associated with the conscious mind. This planet is all about how we communicate and retain information within. Mercury also is about our learning style and thinking pattern on a daily and mercury normally is closely aligned with our sun sign. Mercury in Leo are folks that can come across as theatrical and dramatic and are good at gassing themselves and others. The spotlight for this placement is vibrant and fun and Leon at the get go of the route is blunt with the Heroine. He is sadistic in his thinking and has fun being dominant an is very open in dialogue over that. Remeber when Leon would always call out the Heroine when she was distracted or doing something that is laughable? I do remeber her talking to Karno and he so calls out her out being a fickle goldfish. Throughtout his route he communicates with sass and always seems to want to start something. Its no wonder Zyglavis and Scorpio can't stand him, he just sooo full of himself but at least he can back it up being the strongest god in the heavens next to the king himself.

Venus in Leo

Venus is major component that Leon seems to lack connection with in the route. Venus is the planet of love, romance, and short term gains. Its also how we show are love to others and how we expect to be loved back as well in romantic relationships especially. Spolier alert, its love that Leon seems to underestimate love , causing the King of the heavens to kick him out to figure what is loveeeee baby dont hurt me (sorry i had too LOL). Leon doesnt realize this and thought since he did not pleasure the goddess that obsessed over him that was the reason he was cast away from the heavens. The 5th house has a tendency to be more about the fun and thrill regarding love and can get confused with lust. That is what Leon seem to have an issue with, he was so used to being the center of attention due to his power to give absolute pleasure but he always felt like he was being used by others. He wanted more when it comes to love and thats what the Heroine teaches him. Love can come in many different ways and I find Venus in Leo folks love to share the spotlight and help others find love within the best kind of trait in Venus in Leo.

Mars in Leo

Mars is considered the planet of action, agression and sex. Its very much the opposite of Venus. Mars is greatly shown in Leon's route, especially when he decided to fight the King of Heavens. Mars in Leo has a powerful force within any individual that has this placement. Leon's abiliies are known to be the most powerful and every god and goddess fear and respect him. Even Zyglavis the other department head fears him. going back to the concept of love, Leon confuses lust and love and he is apologetically thinks he knows better then what the heroine has to say about love and he gets aggressive if questioned or dissed. Leo placement folks tend to easily get offended and might lash out quickly if anyone questions their stance or actions. Leon is no exception and that plays in the role of fear and respect among all the gods in the heavens.

Jupiter in Leo

Jupiter is the planet of expansion and good fortune. Its the planet in our chart that gives us the most luck and talent wherever its positioned in the chart. I have this placement in my own birth chart (but in retrograde smh lol) and I think its shown in Leon's route with his natural charisma and excellent leadership skills. He might be feared and sought after the most but everyone relies on him the most when the going gets tough in the heavens. Even though he was cast out of the heavens for his sin, the gods still go to him for help as soon as they realize he can still use his powers. He basically is the ace and brings luck to the heavens when the going gets tough.

Saturn in Leo

Saturn is the planet of restrictions and discipline. Its considered the grandfather of all the planets. Leon is put on restriction for loosing interest in love and not doing his job to the fullest. He also is arrogant and looks down on those who don't have power like him. I see the king of heavens being like Saturn in these circumstances for he wants to teach Leon a lesson for getting too full of himself just becauae he has the most power. The entire route is basically synonymous to his Saturn in Leo that teaches him to not get cocky about himself and realize love's true meaning and to share love to all humans to be able to do his job correct. After all he is the head of the department of wishes and how could he grant wishes if he doesn’t even believe in the power of love?

Uranus in Leo

Uranus is considered one of the generational planets of change and humantarian pursuits. In the sign of Leo change is necessary on how you are viewed in the spotlight whether for a good or bad reasons. I think change occurred when Leon and 5 other gods where cut of their powers and had to figure out what their sin they needed to absolved from. Uranus is not comfortable in Leo since Uranus's original ruler is Aquarius, the opposing sign of Leo. So its no wonder Leon tried to fight the King and rallied up the other gods to go against him.

Neptune in Leo

Neptune is also a generational planet of modern day changes and the overall dreams society might strive for as a whole. Leon does have a wish to rule over the heavens and be the strongest god there ever is (spoiler alert he does in the ending of season 2 LOL) and he grows tired of the King of Heaven's sadistic ways so its no wonder he tries to go against him. I also associate Neptune in his job as head minister in department of wishes. Since dreams and wishes tend to intertwine, when it comes to granting wishes he seems to go for those of hidden desires in human's need to be center of attention. He did grant the boys need to get stronger to help his grandma as an example in his route. Wanting to be the center of attention is not inherently bad especially if its where you shine to help others in need and being the "hero".

Pluto in Leo

Now finally the planet of death is here haha that is not to say literal death but it does have association with the death and rebirth cycle. Pluto is the final generational planet that defines the exact generations itself ( such as boomers or generation z ect) each generation brings something new to the society and transformation on how things are change with changing times. Pluto is also represents what we need to change and evolve in our individual placements. Since the gods probably been around from many millions of years so Pluto's effects probably are more immediate then gradual. it took 12 chapters for Leon to learn about love and its true meaning so Pluto's transformation was more immediate for Leon then any human ever lol.

So How Accurate is the Game then?

So is the game accurate in representing Leo? Well that’s subjective they do got the negative stereotypes down of Leo's such as arrogance, over dramatic, and sadism but remember just because that is considered the bad traits doesnt mean all Leo's are like this. I have known a lot of great Leo's that are generous, entertaining and kind. In fact in my experience Leo's shine gives me hope for a better future in humanity itself. I think once Leon does realize the value in true love then that’s when more positive traits of Leo are shown. Leon is not overall horrible character he just has flaws that tend to get excused because he is the main guy and we as consumers that play this game are suppose to not care and want some of that shit he does to us because he is soooo hOt...Which is problematic but isn’t that the tea and Leo energy thrive in the drama in general even if they don't mean too. His route is the most dramatic and its only fitting that its because he's a Leo. Now a friend of mine (shouting out to u @bitch-pinnacle 😍) told me that the gods character design are similar to the Ascendant of each sign. The Ascendant is the sign that reflect your outward demeanor and how you are perceived to others. Finding your ascendant is by knowing your exact time of birth and it starts the entire house system in your birth chart. Leo rising are known to have hair like the mane of a lion and are expressive and lavish looking and tend to attract anyone to them. That definitely sounds like Leon. Even in his god form his hair is all big and long like a Leo rising are said to be like. So overall i think the game is pretty accurate its just that in the get go Leon embodies the negative side of Leo and I can see that rubbing you Leos the wrong way haha. After all if people say unpleasant things about you even if not meaning to can offend you. Leo folks in my experience get readily hurt fast if ridiculed or questioned. After all Leo is the performers of the zodiac and shine the most out in the open.

[fayewonglibrary]

Interview with Alex San (2007)

Faye Wong liked to record in Beijing and was very casual when she worked. In addition to being willing to do heavy work such as moving musical instruments, Faye Wong was highly collaborative when recording in the studio. She also played pranks on the sound engineer from time to time, requesting to tell his fortunes, otherwise she would not let him off work.

In the past ten years, Alex San has developed in the Hong Kong music industry. He has produced/arranged music with many big names such as Leslie Cheung, Faye Wong, Aaron Kwok, etc., and is currently one of the most valuable musicians in Malaysia.

Who leads the trends in the Chinese music industry? Whose talents are the constant topic of conversation? I believe that there is only one answer: Faye Wong. No matter how many indulgences you have other than music, as soon as Faye Wong's voice appears, you will only listen to her and no longer think about anything else.

Nowadays, many singers like to sing cover songs. In terms of brilliance, there is almost no one that can surpass Faye Wong's covers of Teresa Teng songs in THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE, released in 1995. That album allowed the market to reevaluate "bubblegum pop", raised Faye Wong's music status to another level, and made a name for producer/arranger Alex San who shined during that album.

*****

INTERVIEW BY: Zhang Guoxiang, director of the entertainment section of Guangming Daily (Malaysia)

Q: Honestly speaking, the first time I heard the name Alex San was in THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE. One day, a senior colleague said that Alex San is a Malaysian. I was surprised that Malaysia had produced a musician who could work with superstars. Basically, among locals, your name carried a halo on your head.

ALEX SAN: Many people only began to know me on that Faye Wong album. However, in her previous albums such as PLEASE MYSELF, RANDOM THOUGHTS and others, my name had already appeared. I also wrote a song for her before called "Honeymoon". Most people are also aware of "I Don't Want To Be Like This Either". But the one that I truly worked with her on was THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE.

Q: How did you meet Faye Wong?

ALEX SAN: I first met her producer Alvin Leong. We often worked in the same studio. He probably overheard me working! One day, he knocked on the door and in the first sentence asked: "I don't know if you are interested in making arrangements for my female singer... She is Faye Wong..."  He was very humble! In fact, Faye Wong was already popular in Hong Kong at that time.

Q:  It is undeniable that Faye Wong, with her unique temperament and extraordinary fashion, has been a trend setter for more than a decade. The styles were shocking. Classic styles such as pineapple head, sunburn makeup, and smoky eye makeup attracted a large number of followers, and even now people still imitate them. After THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE, many people's impression of her changed a lot. She sang Teresa Teng's songs as "Faye Wong" without losing the original flavor. I often joked with my friends that if I can bring only one CD to a deserted island, I will choose THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE.

ALEX SAN: There are a lot of inside stories about this album. The decision-making on this album rested with Faye Wong. She chose all the songs herself and she said that she did not want to produce it in Hong Kong, so all the recording work was moved to Beijing.

Q: Why does she not like Hong Kong? Is it because of the paparazzi? I remember that Faye Wong at that time had become the main target of the paparazzi.

ALEX SAN: This is one reason! I think maybe her relationship with her boyfriend (Dou Wei) was also in Beijing. The producing/arranging for that album was originally supposed to be done half by me and half by Dou Wei. But in the end, I was forced to complete it.

Q: Why do you say that you were "forced"? Isn't it a beautiful thing to collaborate with the Heavenly Queen?

ALEX SAN: I really “shed tears” for that album. I took a recording engineer and we lived in Beijing for two months. There was only one thing to do in two months - make 5 songs for the album (the other 5 by Dou Wei) and try to "wow" people. But then the problems started. Within a few days of going up to Beijing, Faye Wong disappeared and no one could find her...

Q: Looking back at the reports at that time, many Hong Kong paparazzi went up north, hoping to catch her and Dou Wei.

ALEX SAN: Beijing is too big. If Faye Wong hides, the paparazzi will not be able to keep up. In fact, the real reason why she hid was to avoid people from the record company. In terms of [the album] concept, Ah Fei and the record company were at odds.

Q: Then what about you? What happens when the singer does not show up to  the recording studio?

ALEX SAN: When time was nearing the end, Ah Fei showed up, so there was no particular worry...The only worry was just how to elevate Ah Fei.

Q: A moment ago, you said you had to complete all the songs?

ALEX SAN: One day when I was working in the studio, an unexpected guest suddenly appeared - it was Ah Fei. She didn't say anything, as if nothing had happened. She was holding a package of various CDs in her hand and threw it on the table: "Alex, Dou Wei quit, you can handle the other 5 songs......." I was shocked and quickly begged for mercy: "Big sister, let me off the hook......" But Ah Fei didn't say anything, just told me to fix the other songs. In the end, I had to take the field. I arranged 7 songs for that album and I really didn’t have time to do the remaining 6 songs, so I found someone else. [NOTE: This should be where Adrian Chan comes into the story.]

Q: Speaking of the topic that Faye Wong likes to work in Beijing, it reminds me of one thing. I once met Faye Wong herself in a restaurant in Beijing. I observed her for a long time and she was not dressed up. But the interesting thing is that from the beginning to end, no one ran forward to ask for her autograph, take photos or anything. I think this is why she prefers to be in Beijing!

ALEX SAN: There are also many big stars in Beijing and the people there treat Ah Fei as an ordinary person. Ah Fei didn't have anything fancy while recording. Many recording studios in China are built “inside”.

Q: What is “inside”?

ALEX SAN: It is the kind where you must walk through a long corridor or alley, and the path may be blocked by many musical instruments. One time, I was walking with Ah Fei and saw that the corridor was blocked by a lot of equipment. The men began moving the equipment away. Ah Fei came forward naturally to help us and she moved the drums!

Q: She was a diva...

ALEX SAN: It was strange. We didn't think about this problem at the time. After Ah Fei moved it, she was covered in dirt.

Q: Does Faye Wong have any habits when recording?

ALEX SAN: Ah Fei is like a child. In the recording studio, she laughs heartily like an aunt. We were really happy when we worked together. Ah Fei knows where she is going to sing, sometimes she would automatically stop and say ‘try again’ in the middle of singing. Basically she can already be her own producer.  

Ah Fei is also very superstitious. My sound engineer was in a miserable situation because he had very little knowledge about fate [horoscopes / fortune telling]. Faye Wong kept staring at him. Every time from the beginning to end of work, she would catch him and said she wants to read his horoscope. Once when I was very tired from work, Faye Wong ran up and spread out her hands and said, "Come on! Let me read your palms!".  Ah Fei is a cute girl but the public takes her too seriously. 

Q: Leslie Cheung's later works were a bit similar to Faye Wong, the content was very ethereal. Even Lin Xi, who wrote lyrics, said that when writing songs for Faye Wong and Leslie Cheung, he often couldn't get away from that style.

ALEX SAN: Gor Gor [Leslie] liked Ah Fei very much. Every time he went to KTV [karaoke], he must order Ah Fei's songs to sing. I know Gor Gor and Ah Fei because of Alvin Leong. Alvin was always the producer for Gor Gor. Once Alvin brought a song to the studio and asked me if I could re-arrange it. He said that Gor Gor didn't like the previous arrangement, so can I re-arrange it?

Q: What was the first thought that came to your mind?

ALEX SAN: Gor Gor Leslie Cheung! Later, fortunately, he used my arrangement.

Q: What was that song?

ALEX SAN:  The theme song of the sequel to "He's a Woman, She's a Man" called "Caring Person".

Q: Later, when Gor Gor asked you to collaborate, were you given any special instructions?

ALEX SAN: Gor Gor was very direct, he was straightforward. He just said that he hoped to have the feeling of "Faye Wong", and was confident in me.

------------------------------------------------------------------  

SOURCE: GUANGMING DAILY // TRANSLATED BY: FAYE WONG FUZAO

[gandrewheadcannons]

Drabble 1 (angst) (open ended)

I wrote a drabble that’s angsty like I’ve been recently. 

Andrew doesn’t wish often for things. He prides himself on being reasonable. Pragmatic. He’s meticulously organized and often not caught up in frivolous thoughts that would have him desiring for something he could just create with a well-thought-out plan to achieve. He lived very much by the notion of ‘if you want it, go for it’ and liked that about himself. It kept him grounded, kept him level headed. Made it so he could breathe easier when he was anxious. If he stayed far away from wishing then he had less to add to his mix of doubt and insecurities. But right now, very out of character, he found himself sitting alone at two o’clock in the morning wishing.

Ryland had stopped filming hours ago and Shane had retreated to the editing room to work. Andrew had declined working in the same room as him feeling squicked by the copious amount of lip gloss Shane had been smearing across his mouth. He was left to his own devices in the spare bedroom when a picture had appeared across his twitter feed that had stopped him in his tracks. It was an old photo of him and Garrett, something someone had screen grabbed from a video where Garrett’s eyes are twinkling and Andrew’s got a soft smile as he stares at the boy. The person had tagged them both and added a message of ‘soft bois’ with a bunch of emoji hearts. It had been shared and liked a good number of times but it wasn’t the picture itself that had him stopping. He’d seen it so many times that at this point it didn’t surprise him to see the way he was watching Garrett in it.

No, what had him stopping was the top tweet underneath it that read, ‘Im sad they don’t seem to hang anymore…used to ship but now I hope Garrett finds people who can appreciate him. The squad definitely doesn’t’ That tweet had almost as many likes as the original, a list of people agreeing. He hesitates to click the profile and then decides against it, exiting Twitter completely and then opening his messages and scrolling to find the conversation with Garrett. It had been a few weeks since they’d texted and Andrew feels a bubble of guilt building in his stomach fluttering amidst something else that Andrew realizes is desire. He misses Garrett. He could easily admit that to anyone who asked. He didn’t to see him as much now that Shane had moved and Andrew spent the majority of his time here. But what he wasn’t sure that he was so readily able to admit would be the fact that, even though it’s just a brief moment, he wishes more than anything that Garrett was there with him.

Looking around the guest room it feels lonely and isolating with the glow of his phone and computer screen the only lights. Biting the corner of his thumb nail he hesitates as he figures out what to send. It was late and though he knew Garrett was awake he found himself, for one of the first times in their friendship, unsure of how to start a conversation with him. Thinking back to the horoscope Shane had read him he blushes despite being alone with his intrusive thoughts. He knew he adored Garrett. Had always done so from the moment they’d met in person and Garrett had shared his cold brew and spoke excitedly about a puppy he’d seen on the way to meet him.

Garrett was his go to guy for any anxieties he might have, his favorite person to get lost with in conversations, but he seemed so far away as of late. He hadn’t wanted to be a part of the series this time. Had explained it softly to them back in February that he’d rather take time for himself and to be with his family. It had felt like a slow bandaid being pulled achingly from Andrew’s side; the comfort of laughter and ease not being present in the long days of filming for the past nine months. He was tired.

Bypassing the messaging all together he bites the bullet and hits the call button, the screen enlarging with buttons and ‘calling G’ scrolling across the top. He’s about ready to hang up and send an apology text with each uwhen all of a sudden Garrett picks up. It’s loud in the background of wherever he is. Andrew hates that he doesn’t know.

“Hey!” Garrett’s voice shouts loudly. “Give me a minute, I’m trying to go outside.” There’s clinking of glasses and someone shouting as music suddenly blares and then it all fades into a quiet hum like something pulled from a movie. “Sorry!” Garrett sounds breathless and laughs a little. “It’s wild in there. What’s up? Are you okay?” His voice going from laughter to concern, the volume lowering into a normal speaking tone with Garrett’s quick pacing sprinkled into the tone.

“I’m good.” Andrew already feels the constricting in his chest lightening some. “Where are you?” A nervous laugh bubbling over and spilling between his lips as he says, “it’s like…way past a Garrett Watts approved party time.” Garrett lets out a manic laugh and Andrew finds himself craving to see the reaction in person.

“Oh I know! It’s so silly. I really did want to leave like three hours ago but now I’m kind of stuck because I got too drunk to drive back home.” Andrew can detect a hint of slurring to confirm the statement. A drunk Garrett was one of his favorite versions; overly tactile and honest with whoever he was with. Andrew could do with a hug.

“Are you okay? You want a ride?” Being forty minutes away was a stretch of an offer but Andrew found that he was up and walking towards his shoes. He’d drive it if it meant spending one night with Garrett.

“Oh Andrew that’s so sweet!” Garrett coos, “I’m really okay, it’s fine. You’re probably at Shane’s anyways?” Andrew hates that he’s so predictable now. Misses when he was only down the street.

“Yeah I am.” He sighs. From his window he can see one of the driveways with his car in it. “I don’t mind, Garrett. I can come.” He presses further. Garrett makes a booing sound and laughs again.

“It’s fine!” Then he drops his voice. “Actually, can I tell you something?” He trails off like he’s to giddy to contain the giggles that erupt. “It’s so crazy, Andrew. But oh!” He lets out another nervous laughter. “I kind of…maybe met someone.” He’s breathless, slurring together the last of his words into one quick session.

“What?” Andrew feels blank. Garrett had met someone. It wasn’t like this was different. Garrett had met so many people and Andrew had picked him up from countless of dates that hadn’t gone well but the last he’d heard; Garrett wasn’t interested in dating anyone. “Like…a someone?” His throat feels painfully scratchy like if he speaks any louder his hammering heart might claw its way up it and out through his mouth. Pitiful. The best way to describe himself in the moment.

“Yeah!” Garrett is whispering. “His name is Ron. We didn’t even meet through Tinder I just like… kept seeing him at the same diner as me at the same time and we ended up eating together a few times. I thought we were just friends but it turns out he thought we were on a few dates!” Garrett laughs. “I pretty much suck at this.” He admits but he doesn’t sound as despondent as he normally would with the statement. In fact, he sounds more amused.

“Wow.” He’s stilted in his commentary. The hopeful feeling that had warmed his body was slowly drained and replaced with something akin to regret. “How…uh.” He clears his throat annoyed that he feels like crying. “How long?” He wants Garrett to say a week. Wants him to say that he doesn’t think it’ll go anywhere.

“A few months,” Garrett says hastily. “I dunno. We aren’t like…it’s not super serious. But I really like him.” He’s enraptured as he says it.

Nine months of almost no time together save the odd weekday coffee now and then had Garrett in a relationship with someone for more than just a week. Andrew is definitely going to be sick.

“That’s great,” It isn’t. Nothing feels great. Andrew wants to hang up the phone. “Hey, actually, I have to go.” He tries to not let his disappointment seep through his gritted teeth. Garrett doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his regret.

“Oh.” Garrett's disappointed. “Are you sure?” Andrew doesn’t want to. Wants to stay on the phone with him for hours. Wants to lay on his brown leather couch and watch an obscure western Garrett had found on Vimeo. Wants to drink English breakfast tea as they watch the sun rise because they’d stayed up too late make stupid videos he’d saved into a special file on his hard drive.

“Yeah man, I didn’t know you were out and stuff.” He doesn’t want to be that guy, unsure if he means the one who keeps a friend on the phone during a party or the one who is desperate for that friend to pity him enough to do it anyways. He’s not sure he cares that he’s both.

“I don’t mind, Andrew.” Garrett sounds surprisingly sober all of a sudden. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Andrew nods then remembers that Garrett can’t see him through the phone.

“Yeah.” He lets out a breath to loosen the constricting around his throat. Please stay with me threatens to pour out but he manages to keep it contained. They’re quiet.

“Megan Batoon get another boyfriend?” He knows Garrett is joking but it’s that comment that has him realizing why Garrett had gone and found someone knew. The slight under bite coupled with the reminder that Andrew wasn’t supposed to be interested in Garrett like that.

“No boyfriend.” He can’t bring the joke to life either. “Not her at least.” It falls flat. The noise from the background is completely gone now and Andrew wishes for the distraction of it back. He can hear Garrett’s breathing through the phone, heavy puffs like he’s starting up to say something then thinking better of it. Before Andrew can continue and apologize for whatever weird, standoffish twist their conversation had taken he hears someone calling Garrett’s name in the background. There’s a shuffle and then hushed tones before Garrett is back on the phone.

“Hey man.” He clicks his tongue disappointed. “I gotta go but maybe we can meet up for coffee sometime soon? Catch up.” He doesn’t sound like he had before. Sounds like he’s making an obligation to save whatever it is they have.

“Yeah.” Andrew wants so badly for that to happen and for them to climb back into each other’s space. “I really want to.” He knows it’s just a formality at this point. He only has a few weeks before the first episode drops. Coffee soon was looking like November if they both really tried.

“Cool! Yeah, that’d be good. Talk to you later,” Garrett doesn’t hang up quite yet, like he’s waiting. “Love you.” He tacks on as if he’s embarrassed to be saying it. It’s rushed.

“Love you.” Andrew’s slides out easily as if it was simple. A phrase both of them accustomed to saying. It shouldn’t be so hard. The phone goes quiet and when Andrew finally grows the will to pull it down from his ear it’s just his home screen. His heart sinks at the lack of Garrett.

Sadness envelops him like a blanket as he curls deep into the crevice of the bed with his hood pulled tightly up. Steering clear of Twitter he opens up Netflix on his phone and tries to fall asleep to an episode of The Office, Michael Scott’s antics soothing his mind. His dreams filled with images he can’t recall being real or not, Garrett’s name on the edge of his tongue; a sloshing wave of regret in his stomach. He makes a promise to himself then- no more wishing allowed, developing a plan to fix them before the year was up. It was what he did.

[gulshanrewariblog]

Mynah 🐦 v/s Mrs. Sudha – by Gulshan Rewari

Images and references courtesy: Google Search

One day Mrs. Ritu Sudha noticed a couple of Mynahs sitting on the air conditioner unit, mounted high on the wall in the verandah, outside her bedroom. She immediately crossed her fingers in delight, expecting some good fortune to descend upon her as those were her favorite birds. Ever since her childhood, she had strongly believed the superstition, ‘One for sorrow, two for joy,’ and undoubtedly counted upon it. But as she saw littering of straws and leaves around the place, almost immediately her feelings turned negative and she realize the obvious. She went to investigate the unwanted visitors, fluttering about all over the verandah, like they were making an annual inspection usually required at the onset of summer season in northern India for the AC service. On sustained observation, Ritu’s worst fears came alive as she discovered that they were in the process of building a nest on the unit. But to be absolutely sure, she mounted on a wooden stool and stretched high on her toes and saw the birds, particularly the one smaller in size and probably a female, carefully weaving a nest of twigs and straws, while the other was feeding it with the constant supply of raw material. Struggling on her toes, she couldn’t hold on for long and quickly dismounted to the ground with a thud as her feet entangled in the nightie she was in. She cursed under her breath and hurried inside, looking for something to scare the birds away, vowing to teach a lesson they will remember for life.

Myna or Mynah, as it is commonly called in India is an omnivorous bird with strong territorial instinct that has adapted extremely well to the urban environments. It is one of the most invasive birds that had just about met her match in the equally stubborn Ritu, who was now looking at ways to dismantle their unfinished abode. After weighing in countless options, she returned with a long handled broom, and placed it over the unit to scare the birds that kept coming back repeatedly like they were going to attack. After some lull in the activity, when she thought to have managed to convey the message across, the bird, together with her partner, kept moving the broom little by little until it fell down. Frustrated Ritu sought other remedies while barging in and out of the verandah and muttering under her breath. Witnessing something amiss, tall and lanky, Mr. Ravi Sudha couldn’t resist his curiosity to inquire, and got instantly sucked into the matter. Now both of them were exploring ways to get out of the situation that had presented itself that morning. Ravi’s morning tea was dependent upon finding a quick fix to the problem at hand.

But nevertheless he tried to reason with his wife, ‘I thought this was your favorite bird.’

‘Not if it is building a nest and making a mess of my verandah,’ she snorted back.

‘But she isn’t alone, her partner is with her and you would see them every day,’ he reasoned.

‘No way can I have them create a nuisance at my place,’ she said with finality, gesturing with her hand to dissuade her husband from making any more argument for it. Mr. Sudha understood that this pair of birds would have to breed elsewhere and pretended to help her in whatever she was doing.

Originally, a nursery rhyme about the number of magpies seen, tells if one will have bad or good luck. As the superstition goes;

One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for a girl, Four for a boy, Five for silver, Six for gold, Seven for a secret, Never to be told. Eight for a wish, Nine for a kiss, Ten for a bird, you must not miss Eleven is worse Twelve for a dastardly curse.

The whole poem, barring first couple of lines, was of no consequence to Ritu, who since her childhood was a firm believer of sunshine horoscopes, numerology and fortune teller tales and their remedies. If she had heard that bird’s nest in the house was inauspicious then so be it and no one could challenge or change her beliefs. After few of Ravi’s suggestion were rubbished and shown way to the dustbin, she called up her mother and dissected the whole issue with her in detail. Putting to use her mother’s advice she got on the stool once again and sprinkled the unit with turmeric powder, red pepper and some other herbs and waited behind the pillar. Ravi, getting hopeful for a cup of tea which was a necessity with his morning paper, requested politely that he would keep vigil while she prepared the tea inside, but Ritu was having none of it that morning. ‘Can’t you wait, don’t you see how important this work is?’ she shouted, while peeking from behind the pillar to see if her trick was working.

The birds were taken aback for few minutes, inspecting and smelling the impediments that lay so elaborately spread out their way, but soon settled on the unit to wipe everything clean with their feet and resume the construction of their new home. Ritu, who was by now shaking uncontrollably with rage, sprang out of hiding and ran wildly towards the AC unit with her raised arms to scare the birds away. But the determined birds would fly off for a while and again get back to their task high on the unit, leaving fuming Ritu to her misery below. She stood there brandishing a long wooden rod, discouraging them from doing their task but at the same time being extremely cautious of not touching and damaging the unit. The sun was beginning to beat hard on her soft skin and it was becoming increasingly unbearable to stand there and keep waving the rod like a flag in the stadium, without being ridiculed by the neighbors. Ritu left the battlefield dejected and miserable to step inside to the comfort of her bedroom and plan her next strategy.

Ritu phoned few of the staff members of her now shut school owing to the nationwide lock-down on the account of Covid – 19 pandemic. By evening some suggestions that looked promising, were acted upon and items like black paper crow, a stuffed monkey, (full of dust) belonging to her son’s infancy years and a fake egg were collected from various nooks and corners of the house and placed on the AC unit while the birds were away. Ritu felt glad when she went out in the morning to check to find all items intact on the unit and the birds absent; and the lucky husband got his tea that morning with the newspaper. Ravi wanted to comment that day as well but decided against it realising fully well his views on the matter wouldn’t be tolerated. He was anyways content that his morning tea was served without him being bothered in any way; but somehow he wasn’t convinced that the matter was done and dusted as yet.

Ravi was jolted out of the depths of his newspaper when he heard an alarming commotion outside his bedroom and he leapt towards the verandah to witness the adamant birds, now in the company of their friends, being helped to slowly push the fakes down the unit one by one. All of Ritu’s dreams of the securing a victory were being shattered with bang and she grew out of control shouting at everyone around in hope to scare the birds away. Two of her neighbors ran inside, confused and terrified of her behavior but not the birds that were quickly getting rid of everything placed there to commence their activity. Indoors once again, calls were made by Ritu and new tenders invited for the complete dismantling and decimation of the invader’s abode. Many plans and strategies were discarded and new sought from her friends and family members but all the while Ravi was kept out of the consultations.

In the end when nothing measured up to Ritu’s expectations, Ravi suggested something she was forced to consider as it made perfect sense. Suspicious still, she examined the idea with her mother and friends and only after being given a go ahead by them, she decided to implement it. Two of her peons were summoned from their homes and upon their arrival, a big ladder sought from a neighbor to climb up and measure the gap between the top of the unit and the ceiling. Once that was established, card-boards of that size were searched by all concerned in and outside of the house. With cues once again from Ravi, two empty shoe boxes were pressed and glued into the gap leaving no space for anything living or dead between the AC unit and the ceiling. Now there was no way anything could be built there and everyone left immensely satisfied and relieve at the same time.

Ravi’s efforts and ideas bore fruits and he was treated to some delicious meals in the following days by Ritu, whose victory was glorified by her relatives and friends and her resolve for all things important in life were appreciated immensely. She subsequently started to accompany her husband in the verandah for morning tea and occasionally glanced towards the AC unit to make sure of her victory.

“I feel bad that I didn’t allow them to settle here, but the dwelling in the east brings bad fortune. I wish they had chosen the back unit instead,” she lamented one morning sounding dejected. Ravi was tempted to say something but decided against it and just smiled. In the times of the lock-down, people were always indoors but lot of Ravi’s time was spent in and around the verandah particularly at the dawn and dusk and he noticed something intriguing.

It was when the clouds, were being as adamant as his wife, in keeping the Sun from being out on the horizon, Ravi noticed a mild movement around his AC unit. It was followed by a faint sound of flapping of wings and there in an instance emerged a beak out of nowhere from behind the unit and from a tiny space between the unit and the wall it was mounted on, flew a Mynah, swiftly disappearing into the dense surrounding of the neighborhood. Ravi let out a small cry and hurried on to inspect the site that had appeared so calm till moments ago. On studying very minutely, he detected a small hole plucked in the shoe box from where the bird had appeared. It looked like the perfect game of chess where clearly his wife was checkmated all ends. The birds had cleverly used the opponent resources to house their new family. After being certain that the mynah had laid eggs that had probably been hatched by now, Ravi leapt toward his chair before his unsuspecting wife could lay the tray of two tea cups thereon the table and pretended to admire the cloudy weather. Ritu looked little apprehensive about the nervousness of her husband but didn’t make much of it since he was quite odd in her eyes anyways.

While sipping on his tea and hiding behind the newspaper, Ravi went into a deep thought as to what should be the course of action to counter this new development. The daily stomach bulging feast, sweeten by pampering, was on the line. Moreover the calm prevailing over the family during the pandemic was a welcome change for him and his two children who were also surprised with the sudden generosity of their mother. If he didn’t do anything about the situation, sooner than later his wife would notice the presence of the birds and turn this serenity on its head into a storm.

He sat thinking for a while and then blurted, “Ritu do you know the whole poem about Mynahs.”

“I don’t and have no interest in knowing,” said Ritu, little surprised at the sudden topic.

“But I googled it and learned that more than four of these birds bring in Gold and Silver as fortune,” declared Ravi, who wasn’t ready to give up so easily.

“No I have had enough of these for now,” rebutted Ritu, who wasn’t having any of it.

Ravi remained calm and showed her the poem and explained to her that if they had let the birds nested, they could have called good fortune upon themselves. Ritu reluctantly agreed to the fact that whatever she had done wasn’t quite right and wished none of it to have happened. That day was the most difficult to pass as Ravi decided to wait till the next day to break the news to his wife. At night he again lamented the events that had occurred in the last few days and brought Ritu to agree to regret her deeds.

In the morning Ravi waited patiently under the AC unit for the bird to emerge while Ritu was in the kitchen preparing tea. He patted the unit lightly with the wooden rod to stir things inside the shoe box and soon a parent hopped out of the hole to make an inquiry. At that moment Ravi, in hope to break the story, shouted to beckon his wife. Before Ritu could approached he exclaimed, “God has listen to our prayers and guided the birds to make the nest here in this shoe box.” He excitedly showed her the birds and hugged her tightly hoping to deter her from making a scene. Ritu was too stunned to react and got carried away with her loving husband’s display of affection and slowly but surely embraced the situation. She reclined to the fact that God had mended her wrong doing and although she had lost the battle of jealousy and hatred, she had won the war of good fortune and peace.

[lokisgame]

Rainbow’s End [2]

[part 1]

What a strange man, Dana said to herself and looked inside a box full of dinnerware, knowing that she should wash everything before putting it away into drawers and cabinets but having no time to do that. She picked two plates, and set aside everything else. They probably will eat out of cartons but she wanted to at least have the chance to offer. Fox, what a strange name, didn’t look like someone who stood on ceremony. She cleaned up the table, straightened the chairs, and leaving a carton on one of them, started to take out and rinse mugs, lining them up on a rag to dry. Coffee and tea was all she had around the house for now.

Mulder went downstairs with a silly grin on his face. Talk about small world, fate and fortune coincidences. Her warm smile was just as he remembered, real, he didn’t imagine it. A little angry at himself for not locking the door, he found the menus under the coffee table, took his wallet and stoped holding the doorknob. Calm down, relax. Where’s the fire? You know nothing about her, she might have someone, a guy, a girl perhaps. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Going through this silent rant, he double-backed to the fridge, white wine or beer? Beer, less alcohol, and anyway she can always opt out. He was locking his door when Alex passed him in the hallway, noticing the six-pack under his arm. “Wow, you’re cheap Mulder.” “Maybe for you Krycek,” he turned and went in the opposite direction than the other man, dislike quickening his step. “You know who moved in upstairs?” He called after him, but Mulder didn’t have time to answer. He knocked on the door and let himself in, “I’m back.”

Dana huffed out a small laugh without bothering to turn around, this guy knew nothing about boundaries. But as in other men it annoyed her, he made it feel casual and safe. She heard the clank of bottles and looked over her shoulder. “Don’t you have enough glass for one day?” “Something to wash down the food, totally optional, I’m not counting this into your tab,” he set the bottles on the table and spread out the pamphlets, “pick a place.” “I just moved here, how should I know which one is best?” “It’s like an adventure, come on, they’re all great so there’s no wrong choice to be honest.” “Okay, how about this,” she picked the most subdued design. “Not bad, best egg rolls of them all, mean sweet and sour chicken, but it’s your choice.” “Okay, let’s have that, I’m really not picky, and you seem to know your way around.” “You sure?” “Yup, go wild.” “Such a vote of confidence, I’m touched.” “Oh, just order already.” He picked up the phone, ordered and laughed with the person on the other side of the line, it sounded as if he was a regular customer. In the mean time she went to the box with kitchen utensils and found a bottle opener. “One hour tops,” Mulder said hanging up and took the bottle she offered, lifting it in a small salut, “to new friends.” “And safety glass,” she added and sipped from her bottle then went back to washing and drying the mugs. “So, Fox,” she started and he barked out a laugh. “Please, just Mulder, nobody calls me Fox, not even my parents.” “Alright, Mulder, what do you do for a living?” “I write horoscopes,” he went to his usual joke. A small lie combined with the fact that his novels were published under a pseudonym, bought him at least a few of days to get to know people without signing copies of his books for friends and relatives and answering questions about extraterrestrials. Life of a sci-fi novelist was hard. However the side effect of such innocent lie was her gaping mouth and bewildered smile. “What?” He chuckled, “someone has to do it.” She looked cute, frozen mid-wipe of a blue china cup. “How do you do that?” Dana forced herself to remain calm, “you had some kind of training?” “I took a four year course in Oxford,” he pushed on, wondering how far he could go with pulling her leg, before she burst out laughing, “came back to the states and now I run a little column for Cosmo, I can read your palm if you want.” And that was that, she couldn’t hold it in anymore, she bent over, arms crossed over her stomach and laughed, and laughed, and he laughed with her, marveling at the wonderful sound. “No, seriously, what do you do,” she gasped, siting at the table, wiping her eyes. “I’m a psychologist, not practicing, but I work for the FBI sometimes, mostly consulting jobs.” “And that leaves you with time to read people’s futures?” She teased, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. “Enough to balance dabbling in criminals’ past.” She laid both her hands on the table, palms up. “Okay, what do you see in my future” Mulder chuckled, but took her hand in his awkwardly, his right still throbbing under the bandages. “I see a tall dark stranger, completely harmless, no need to worry,” a wink earned him a smile, “a charming young man who could be a true friend if you’ll let him, well versed in neighbourhood politics, a wellspring of knowledge about best parking spots, local take-out joints and deli stores.” “How many girls did you try to pick up with that line?” Her gaze was honest and she made it clear his BS made no impression, except maybe being slightly amusing. “Not as many as you’d think,” he let go pf her palms and dialled back on the teasing. “It’s not very effective,” she went back to washing the mugs, “so about those neighbourhood politics, are there some unwritten rules I should know about?” “Not really,” he could feel that he crossed some line, but didn’t let it scare him away. Dana Scully didn’t suffer fools and he made note to remember that. “The guy above you, Alex Krycek doesn’t like noise, I don’t mind either way, the couple downstairs, the Petrie’s are away on an extended holiday, haven’t seen them in three months, and I don’t expect them to be back anytime soon.” “Where did they go?” “I didn’t ask, they kept to themselves, and I respected that.” “So you do not make a habit out of barging in on your new neighbours on their fist day?” That stung a bit, he was beginning to regret his forwardness. “No, I do not, and if you like, I can leave,” he pushed the bottle aside and started to get up, “you did enough for me as it is, and I see you have a lot to do.” “No,” suddenly alarmed, Dana turned to face him, “I didn’t mean it like that, please, stay. I’m just not used to being,” she stoped, he wasn’t sure why, but a cloud of shame passed over her face, “called someone’s friend after 20 minutes since meeting them. People usually take me for the Ice Queen.” “You didn’t meet me 20 minutes ago,” he sat back down, trying to bring her back from the shell she was crawling back into, “we met this morning.” “We did?” “Yeah, you passed me when you were leaving the diner at the end of the street, great waffles and coffee, probably the best in D.C.” “I did?” She raked her memory, but pulled blank. “You probably were too busy to remember, with the movers arriving soon.” “How did you know that?” Her eyes grew wide, and she became worried a little, despite his assurances. “Calm down, simple observation, I saw the truck, I remembered your clothes and hair, eidetic memory, just a simple matter of putting two and two together.” “You do work for the FBI.” “Part time, but you pick up a habit or two, I swear I mean you no harm.” “Even if you did, I took a self-defense class, so I know how to take care of myself.” “I don’t doubt that,” he tried to smile his most sincere and non-threatening smile, and she began to relax, still he was curious. “Why do people call you Ice Queen? I see no reason for that.” “You seem like the exception to all rules,” she sighed and dried the last mug. “I guess I’m skeptical of all new acquaintances, you can call it trust issues if you want.” “I’d rather call it reason,” he got up and rounded the table. “You’re going? What about the food?” She sounded anxious but didn’t step back. “No, I’m not going anywhere,” he pushed up the sleeves as much as he could with his bad hand, “put me to work, how can I help?” “But your hand.” “I’ll manage, and if I break anything I’ll pay for it,” he was completely serious and she saw it. “Come on Scully, I’m at your disposal.” “Okay,” she let slide the use of her last name, with what he said about his own name, it seemed kind of fair, “maybe we’ll leave the dishes for now, I don’t want you to get those bandages wet, we could unpack the books, you think you can handle that?” “I’ll hand them to you, and you’ll arrange them inside the bookcase, because I’m sure you have a system.” “Yup,” she smiled and led the way to the stack of boxes in the living room, “I sure have.”

The process went quite smoothly as they waited for the food to arrive. Thanks to her sensible packing, the books were basically ordered the way she wanted them, the only problem was picking bookshelves. He didn’t skip a chance to laugh at some of the titles. “’Inflammatory Bowel Diseases: A Personal View’ now that must be a real page turner,” he laughed handing her another pile of books. “You have no idea, Steven King has nothing on this one.” “Nope, wait, we have a winner, this one I got to read,” he picked a medium-sized volume and started to page through it. “Give it back, Mulder,” she reached for the books but he turned away. “Hold on a second, this is great.” “What have you got there,” she tried to take the book from him but he escaped her again, “a layman shouldn’t read this stuff, you’ll read something and you’ll think you’re sick or dying.” “I’m not a layman, I’m a psychologist,” the book was hidden behind his back and smile, “not a hypochondriac.” “All men are,” she laughed and her arms went around him, searching for the book. Mulder froze and she realized what she was doing. She was holding on to him, her arms around his waist and he was looking down at her with a wicked grin. “Like I said, you’re no Ice Queen,” he took half a step back, still in her space but no longer in her arms, and showed her the title. “DIY Brain Surgery,” he said and gave her the book back, “you have to lend me this one sometime.”

The doorbell saved them. Scully from thinking too much about the hard muscle of his chest, and Mulder from trying to remember when was the last time a woman putting her arms around him made him laugh with excitement. He went to the door and paid the Lin boy, as always, tipping him handsomely. “You want to eat here?” She asked walking to the kitchen, ready to set the table. “Sure,” unpacking the food, he grimaced as she set the plates and napkins and silverware, “I thought we said no dishes.” “I want to try everything, so we’re sharing, I’ll do the dishes.” He didn’t argue, and she did try everything, eating with gusto, as befit someone who did a honest day’s work. The sight made Mulder almost as pleased as if he cooked for her himself, although he never did things like that. “I like this chicken thing, not too spicy to burn you through,” she said around a mouthful of moo goo gai pan. “Easy on the deep fried shrimp then, the sauce is pure fire,” he warned. “Really?” Taking a piece and dipping it cautiously, she nibbled at the end then gasped, “oh-ghod-wha-ish-thish” She covered her mouth breathing deeply, hoping the beer could put out the fire, gesturing with her chopsticks for him to take the shrimp. “Put it down,” he said and she did, the shrimp and the beer, looking down, flushed at being caught taking too much liberties. “You don’t pass food like that,” he said with a smile, picking the shrimp of her plate and dipping it in sauce, “it’s a funeral custom in Japan.” He bit of half without flinching, then licked his lips, and the sight made her feel warmth that had nothing to do with the hot sauce. She wanted to argue that they were having chinese not sushi, but he licked his lips again and she lost her train of thought for a moment. “Try the dumplings,” she heard him say a moment later and time picked up its’ usual pace.

The food was great as promised, and they had a second beer with it, each. “This was probably the best Chinese I ever had.” Scully sighed, leaning back in her chair with a contented smile that suddenly turned into a frown. She looked over his shoulder to the living room, “do you have some strength left in you to help me clean up the couch?” “Sure,” he said looking back to the overstuffed monster he saw before, now stacked with bags, most likely clothes, “you want to unpack or just move it?” “Move it, I’ll do that later or tomorrow.” “‘key.” So they moved the bags and sank into couch cushions, shoulder to shoulder. “I think I’m in danger of falling into a food induced coma,” Scully giggled and pulled her feet up, folding them underneath herself. Elvis record he found and she let him put on, made another circle and the King crooned softly about things that couldn’t be helped. Mulder reached over and pulled down the blanket she left on the back of the couch over her, gently drawing her into his side. “Sleep,” he said quietly, shifting to make them both more comfortable, “I know a good doctor.” Scully half laughed half sighed, but sleep was stronger than either of them. Mulder closed his eyes, and drifted off, rocked by her steady breath and the King’s lullaby.

One floor below, phone woke the answering machine who beeped, startled, and then reciting her line, took a message from the woman on the other side. “Fox, I can’t meet you tomorrow, maybe some other time.”

[talyalong]

This will be my first attempt at blogging. I had no idea where to start other then yesterday my youngest son helped me take out the trash and while outside something caught his attention. He held up his hand and showed me that he had found a single peanut sitting next to one of the packages on the back porch. I knew immediately it was meant for me.

This is the 3rd peanut left by what I thought were squirrels. What's significant is the timing in my life when each peanut were left and where I found them. It was like the squirrel had left it just for me to find.

The first peanut I found was left in a small planter I had on my outside balcony at my first apartment. It wasn't buried so I brought it in. I was going through a traumatic period in my life at work (wasn't working due to back injury), at school(had to drop out because of said back injury) and was in a toxic a relationship that had soured.

The guy was a sociopath or I believed so at the time. He worked as maintenence at my apartment complex and we had started dating a few months prior. I first met him when he fixed my wall furnace. He ended up using his work keys to enter my apartment without my permission, on multiple occasions.

I was also trying to heal from back surgery at the time and no one believed me about what this man was doing. Everyone, my parents, doctors and friends blamed my mental health or my medication saying it was making me paranoid. Even my psychiatrist told me, when I asked if he believed me, told me it doesn't matter if I believe you it only matters that you believe you. I felt so violated and unsafe I had move. I had my daughters safety to consider as well.

After settling down at my new apartment, I again came across a single peanut. It was left on my doorstep by my front door. I never really took the time to wonder why squirrels kept leaving me peanuts except I did buy a bag of whole unsalted peanuts for my daughter and I to feed the squirrels. I thought maybe they were trying to tell me they were hungry. It made me feel like I had made the right move. That I chose the right apartment and I was back on track. I had returned to work, I'd lost a significant amount of weight, and my daughter was returning home.

I soon forgot about the peanut and the squirrels and i moved on with my life. Up until yesterday when my son found the peanut, I hadnt remembered seeing a squirrel on one of my horoscope memes. When I saw the peanut I knew I had seen it in my research that I was connected to a squirrel through my horoscope and it might be part of my spiritual path.

I took another look at the meme today, it's a chipmunk. My spirit animal has been trying to tell me something for 15 years. I thought it was a squirrel for 15 years. This time we just moved into our new mobile home that we purchased roughly 3 months ago. I have recently started my spiritual journey after waking up again recently with a determined passion I almost forgot existed in me. Let's call the awakening I had 6 years ago it a mini awakening.

I never followed through on any of my knowledge that I had discovered about my potential or I didn't really believe it. I've always wanted to write a book. Now I'm determined not only to write a book but learn about my interests, build my spiritual foundation, and learn how to help people in the best way I can. I would like to work from home as a part time blogger.

I was a NCMA for 7 years at a family practice clinic and have just been lost about who I am and my potential or where my future is headed. My biggest fear in this lifetime is standing before God and not accomplishing what He sent me here to do. I don't want to go back empty handed.

I have gone through so many hardships and struggles during these last 15 years. I have had some amazing experiences along the way and met some wonderful people. I saw who truly cared for me and who didn't.

The four leaf clover on this meme is also significant to me. When I was a little child around 4 or 5 I used to hunt for and find 4 leaf clovers. All the time. They were every where. I gave them family, friends and to my teachers. I tried saving some by putting them flat in a book. They always disappeared.

I'd just look down and see one maybe two right next to eachother or I'd search out in the field in front of the playground at my elementary school during recess while all the other kids played. I found so many my step mother had two things to say about it. I wonder when you've pick so many your luck will run out and I wonder when you will meet a real leprechaun?

I don't know why I stopped looking for 4 leaf clovers but I stopped finding them and was convinced my luck had run out. Until one day, I found some while sitting in the lawn in front of the state hospital, where I was admitted under civil commitment for 180 days. I was delighted to be sitting in the grass and it made me happy to find my friend, the four leaf clover again and it gave me a sliver of hope at one of the darkest times of my life.

I again tried to save them, bring them home with me pressed into a book but they were eventually lost, probably during one of the multiple moves we have made since my fiance uncle passed. I now have a four leaf clover set in a plastic case protected forever and is one of my favorite knick knacks. It was given to me by my fiance and had belonged to his late aunt. I had no idea that the four leaf clover was connected to my birth sign: Taurus. I'm excited to have made this connection.

I feel like these are signs letting me know that I'm back on the right track. People and programs that I looked into 6 years ago when I first woke up, before I fell back asleep, have come back full circle into my inbox and show up on my newsfeed or in my research on the internet. The exact same people, subjects and information. This time I am learning so much more and i feel like I'm being guided in the right direction. Im using and trusting my intuition and my past experience. I feel like I know what I have to do to work on me and become something I'll be proud to be. I have hope for the future when before I had none. I just need to remember to pace myself. The world isn't ending tomorrow. I still have time. I'm so excited to experience all the universe has in store for me. I feel fortunate and blessed.

[jonahwhalesw1]

Personal Connection- Ch. 4 (Scorpio)

This is my submission for Day 4 of the @tpthvegebulsmutfest !  Sorry, it’s so late and that the rest of the prompts won’t make the 24th deadline, but I’m still going to continue posting them and finish this story.  I will also be posting the story in full to Ao3.  So enjoy!  Last chapter, Vegeta kept his promise to rock Bulma’s world day and night, but what happens the next morning?  And how bad is a scorpion’s sting?

“Good Morning, West City!  We’re looking at yet another fantastic day!  Blue skies and plenty of sunshine so be sure to get out doors as much as you can and enjoy the day!  Moving on, in breaking news this hour…”

He tuned out listening as the radio broadcaster moved on from the only thing he was really paying attention to for the morning.  Good weather means practice was going to go as usual today and he couldn’t wait to get back on the field and try his swing again.  Training for the Androids was going great he thought, but it was also stressful.  As much as he thought he was improving, there was the nagging feeling of ‘Is it enough?’ So he’d contacted his old coach to see if he could join the team for practice today and get some much needed down time.  A few hours playing baseball wouldn’t hurt, right?  Yamcha hummed to himself as he picked up the newspaper and flipped through it to get to the sports section.  He wanted to studying up on the more recent stats of his old team, didn’t want to get shown up by any of the rookies if he could help it.

Headlines were usual; Government this, Officials that, blah, blah, blah.  Not sports, flip.  Oooh, Horoscopes.  Okay, his for starters…Pisces, ‘Your intuition, imagination, and insight have served you well on the job, and should pay off soon. A raise, commission, or perhaps a chance to invest in the company could be offered to you. Your self-esteem will definitely receive a boost! You might also find that you’re growing even more intuitive than usual, and people are looking up to you because of it. Give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.’  Well, don’t mind if I do, he grinned.  Okay, now he signed with the team on November 2 so next was Scorpio, ‘Rely on your intuition instead of waiting for your rational mind to decide. Your head may have been swarming with conflicting ideas yesterday, but the answer should be clear today. Just tune into your gut feeling and make your decision.’  That boded well for training with the team.  Flip.  Flip. Aha, there.  Sports.  He picked up the section…and saw the Entertainment section’s main headline underneath.  ‘Capsule Corp Heiress Hot And Heavy With New Man’.  The letters were massive, he couldn’t help but see them…the paparazzi-caught picture underneath.  Bulma looking really sexy in her business attire, must have had a meeting or something, standing outside a restaurant, hand in hand, with—

“Son of a bitch!” Yamcha recognized the flame of black hair and royal scowl immediately.

He dropped the sports section and poured over the article about Bulma and Vegeta.  His darting eyes soaking up every word:

‘Capsule Corp Heiress Bulma Briefs is single no more.  A month after her breakup with baseball player Yamcha Rekishiyoma of the Taitans, she was seen at stylish restaurant Gabu with a mysterious new man. It is reported that the couple snuggled in close together as they ate bacon cheeseburgers and fries…’

Snuggled?!  Her and Vegeta of all people!

‘…Talking intimately the entire time…’

What?!  What the hell could they have to talk about?!  A new drone for him to blow up?!  Destroying the Gravity Room yet again?!  Threatening to kill her and blow up the planet?!

‘…After an hour long lunch, they left the restaurant holding hands…’

Holding…No!

‘…On the sidewalk, her alluring new man went in for another close moment then literally swept her off her feet, flying with the Heiress off to who knows where to do who knows what. Wink, wink.’

Yamcha dropped the paper and ran out of the nearest door.  The one to his apartment’s balcony.  He instantly jumped into the air and flew off for Capsule Corp himself. Screw practice, screw training because that murdering bastard was…was…

*                      *                      *

The movement woke Vegeta, but he didn’t let it on.  It was kind of cute to feel her tiny little body wriggling beneath his, trying to get out from underneath him.  She huffed and puffed as she shifted this way and that and little by little made her way out from under him.  He tried very hard to suppress his grin and continue to play asleep as he listened to her.

“Shit,” she hissed in a whisper, “Saiyan log.”

A chuckle very nearly escaped his chest.  No, the Saiyan log is what’s between your legs. Gods, he had to fight to keep the smile off his face.

She continued to struggle.  Pushing and shoving at his body, but Vegeta refused to make it easier for her.  Finally, he decided to help her a little.  He shifted his center of gravity ever so slightly and it was enough for her to finally heave on of his arms, shifting the limb just a little.

“Yes,” he allowed himself a slight grin, figuring she wasn’t looking at him as she cheered herself and kept pushing on his arm.  He put the grin away and replaced it with a stony, ‘sleeping’ face as she started to wriggle again, apparently thinking she had shifted his arm just enough away from her body to allow her to scoot her body up and out.  She wriggled again, tried to scoot…the gasp rattled through her.

“Oh my Kami, you fell asleep still inside me.”

He grinned to himself…then he heard a soft chuckle come from her.  The sound was the most beautiful thing he could ever wake up to.

“Good boy,” she laughed.  “But I have to.”  She sighed and scoot again.

He felt himself slip out of her just a little.

“Aw, shit,” she giggled to herself, “I’m wet again.”

He pursed his lips tight, trying to maintain his façade of deep sleep, but inside his was laughing as much as she was.  I’m hard again.

She scooted again. He slipped out of her a little more again.

“Shit,” she gasped, “Even in your sleep, you feel so fucking good.  Kami, you’re the best.”

Damn right, he gloated to himself.

She scooted.  He slipped out a little more.  Scooted.  Slipped. Scooted.  He fell out of her gently, the tip of his head slipping down her entrance before landing on the warm softness of her bed.  Vegeta felt his shoulders slump, it didn’t compare to how warm and soft it was inside her.  Her womanhood was the perfect home for his manhood, falling asleep inside her had convinced him of that.  He couldn’t remember when he’d slept so well, so peacefully, and Vegeta realized it was because he never had peace before, never felt so absolutely safe and secure that he could let himself drift into sleep so deeply.  As deeply as he had been inside her before falling asleep.  He still couldn’t believe that he had made love to her twice.  There had been wild bouts of fucking each other senseless in between, but still…Vegeta had made love to Bulma twice!  What the hell had he been thinking?!  She scooted again and suddenly her hip was at his lips.  He wanted to kiss it.  Wanted lavish the velvet skin with his kisses and licks of his rough tongue.  She shifted and the plump, luscious flesh of one of her ass cheeks pressed against his lips.  He couldn’t stop the low growl rumble through his chest.  Fuck, he wanted to drag his teeth across her perfect, little ass.  She scooted again, and was gone from him.  He wanted to reach out and yank her back, hike her leg back up, thrust his stiffening cock in her, and keep thrusting until they both begged for mercy. He chanced opening an eye just a bit and his gaze was met by the back of her thighs.  Gods, every part of this woman turned him on, made him want to do things to her.  She scooted and wriggled again.  He was eyeing the back of her calves.  Another wriggle, another scoot.  And she was free of him and slipping gently across the rest of her large bed.  He shut his eye as she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.  It shifted slightly and he knew she was walking away from him.

He heard a gasp leave her…and hissing, pressure on the bouncy mattress.  He opened his eye just a little again and saw her maybe a step away from the bed.  Her hand on the bed for support as she bent over.  Her eyes were wide and she was trying not to breath hard.  Vegeta felt his chest clench.  Something was wrong with her.  She took a deep breath and took a step.  Her leg wobbled, another step with the aid of the bed, and that leg wobbled as she put her weight on it.

“Oh Kami,” she giggled to herself again, “I can’t fucking walk.”

He smirked proudly. His chest easing and his balls clenching.

She kept taking wobbly step after wobbly step.  Looking like a newborn fawn.  “Oh my Kami,” she squeaked and clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter. Even only getting a side view of her from the bed, he could see her eyes were sparkling with amusement and amazement. Well, what had she expected when she demanded that he satisfy her?  He kept watching her until she was beyond his sight as he maintained his façade.  He heard the gentle padding of her feet finally making contact with the undoubtedly cold tile of her bathroom floor…then he heard the bathroom door close as softly as a whisper.

He closed his eye and felt just how plush her bed was.  Although he admitted he didn’t think she’d accept reclining in anything other than luxury.  He brought his arms up under the fluffy pillow beneath him and held it tight to the side of his face.  He turned his face a little and inhaled deeply.  It smelled like her sweat…like his too.  He laid the side of his face back on it as the sound of her faucet being turned and the low rumble of water passing through the pipes in the wall as her shower started.  Vegeta sniffed the air.  The smell of their joined musk was still in the air even with the balcony doors still open. He reached down beside him and brought the bedsheet up.  The moment he gripped the fabric and lifted, the intense smell from between the sheets hit him.  The bed reeked of their sweat and cum.  Gods, it was enough to snap his eyes wide open.  Surely it would gag the Mother when she came in to change the dirty sheets yet again.  She may be insanely happy all the time, but even he had to admit that she was by no means stupid or ignorant of the ways of carnal behavior considering she had a child. She would know immediately what the Hell they had done.  And she would have a fair guess at how much of it they had done.

Vegeta rolled over and sat up.  Gods, the scent wafted up to him with every move he made.  He could smell her cum on his crotch, smell his own there two, and sweat. Holy shit, he was drenched in their scent.  It filled his nostrils.  He couldn’t escape it…

Did he want to though? Did he want to get out of this bed that permeated with their scent?  Did he want to walk away from this room and no longer smell of her so thoroughly it was like she coated his skin like lotion?

Vegeta looked over at the closed bathroom door as he ran a hand over his face.

*                      *                      *

Bulma stepped under the hot water and let it wash over…soak her hair…pelt her skin like a masseuse…Ahhh, it felt great.  She lowered her face from the water stream and reached out for her bright pink loofa sponge.  She held it against her chest, letting it start getting wet, while she decided which of her assortment of body washes she wanted to use today.  Suddenly she felt familiar rough hands slid gently over her stomach.

“I thought you didn’t like it when my cock wasn’t in you,” he purred lusciously in her ear.

Bulma grinned as he pressed his body against her back.  She leaned into him.  His muscles seemed to fold in around her.  He liked her doing that apparently, she reminded herself to do that as often as she could to feel him do this to her as often as he could.

“I don’t,” she said and his chest vibrated against her back with his growl.  She felt his cock stiffen a little where he’d pressed against her butt crack.

He nuzzled her behind her ear, that always sent a thrill up her spine that made her whole body tingle with arousal, “I like the strawberry one.”

“What?”  She was enjoying him touching her, nuzzling her way too much.  Bullshit, there was never too much.  She laid her head back against his shoulder.

“I like it when you smell like the strawberry and cream one.”

Oh, my bath wash.  “I thought you liked me walking around like the new scent you gave me, the one that drives other men away from me.”

Another growl escaped his mouth by her ear so close she shuddered from how much it turned her on to hear it so close and primal like that.  His fingers bent and she felt the tips of his nails drag over her stomach. Her legs trembled slightly, Oh fuck, I’m wet again.

“That’s for them,” she could practically hear his lips peeling back to reveal his sharp canines; her legs trembled again, Oh so fucking wet, “The strawberries and cream are for me. It reminds me of your breasts,” he looked down over her shoulder and saw perfect little nips of luscious bright red berry peaking out from a plush bed of cream.  He felt his cock harden, So fucking perfect.

“Your cream,” she asked.

“Yours, Vulgar Woman.  Your creamy flesh,” he breathed that last word before licking up her jawline.

“Oh fuck,” her hips bucked, rubbing her sweet ass cheeks against his hardened member pressing against her.

“I’ll get to that after I clean you.”  He purred.

He moved his nose to her wet hair and sniffed. “Your hair smells like salt.  We need to fix that.”

She lifted her head as he reached forward.  He put his hand on one of the bottles, not one of the body washes but a shampoo. She felt him turn his head to look at her.

“This one,” he asked, watching her.

“No,” she said.

Vegeta moved his hand from the purple bottle to a yellow one.

“This one?”

“No,” she smiled.  He smiled, she was catching on to his game.

He moved his hand at last to the pink bottle.  Strawberries and cream shampoo.

“This one?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Mmmm, strawberry.” He hummed.

She laughed as he plucked the bottle from the shelf.

She laughed as he plucked the bottle from the shelf.  He flipped the cap and lifted it over her head, she trusted him enough to think that he wasn’t going to dump a ridiculous amount on her head like a cruel joke.  Vegeta squeezed out a quarter-sized amount of the pink creamy gel onto her teal hair then capped the bottle, and put it back on the shelf.  Bulma lifted a hand to her hair, but before it could reach into her hair, Vegeta’s hand was there to take it away.  She went back to holding her loofa to her chest as he placed his hands on the top of her head and ran them down.  That’s not what she expected.  She felt him smear the gel over as much of her hair as he could with sweet tender pets. Her eyes widened, what the hell? But…his touch was so gentle, yet thorough.  He laced his fingers up through her hair…then around it…then Vegeta’s fingers began massaging her scalp until he worked up a lather.  She smiled and let the feeling of his tender care relax her…and simultaneously turn her on even more for him.  He was taking care of her and few men realized the absolute turn on that was. When he was sure her hair was clean, he leaned by her ear.

“Close your eyes,” he whispered.  She did.  He placed one hand at the back of her head and tipped it forward into the hot water.

His fingers worked diligently, intricately, tenderly to help the water rinse the shampoo from her hair.  Bulma luxuriated in the warm water and the warm attentions until Vegeta was content that every last bit of soap had been cleansed from her beautiful, soft hair.  Then his hand slipped under her chin and lifted her head out of the water.  Then his other hand dabbed at her face with a soft, dry cloth until she opened her eyes.  His lips were at her ear again.

“Clean?”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded.

He put the washcloth on the shelf.  She watched again as his hand found the pink bottle of body wash and pulled it out of the lineup.  He flipped the cap and lifted it to the loofa at her chest, he squeezed out some of the clear pink gel onto the pink mesh then capped the bottle and put it back on the shelf.  Bulma started to mover her fingers around the pink mesh, but before she could work it into a lather, Vegeta’s hands were there to take it away.

“No, I clean you.”

He took one of her hands in his and guided it up to behind his head and left it there.  He switched the loofa to his other hand.  He took her other hand in his and guided it too to behind his head and left it there.

“I clean you.”

“Oh, okay.”  She got it now, Bulma laced her fingers together at the back of his neck and looked down at her own body.  She watched him work the pink mesh slowly into a lather.  Then he pressed against her chest and squeezed.  Pink-tinted white foam squished out and slipped over her breasts.  Her breathing hitched while his remained steady although it definitely did not escape her notice that his cock was a rock now.  One of his hands scrubbed the loofa gentle over one breast while his other slipped over her other breast.  She writhed.  He cupped her, ran his fingers over her suds covered, pert nipple…pinched it softly between his fingers…his thumb caressing it slowly.  She closed her legs, squeezing them tight together.  “Oh Kami,” she gasped.

The loofa switched hands.  Soft, soapy mesh scrubbing gently of her already aroused breast while his other hand cupped the cleaned breast.  His fingers slowly caress her nipple to hardening.  She squeezed her legs tighter.  Biting her lip.  Unable to hold back the moan.  He pinched her nipple gently and her hips bucked, rubbing his excruciating cock between her plump ass cheeks again.  He groaned. His thumb rubbing her nipple.

“Fuck,” she gasped. Hips bucking again, she wanted him so bad right now.  He groaned, his fingers gripping her breast for a moment until the sensation eased enough for him to continue.

He moved the loofa down over her smooth, flat stomach.  Scrubbing gently while his hand rubbed the suds into her skin.  He moved and moved until her stomach as clean. Every scratch of mesh over her supple skin, every caress building and building the yearning between her legs. Then the loofa and his hand went down, down, down, she felt them at her crotch.  The hot suds squeezing over her curly teal hairs there.  His hand threaded through them, rubbing, until he tried to put his hand between her legs and she refused to budge.

“It’s alright,” he told her.

She shook her head.

“Yes, it is. Now open your legs.”

“If I open them, I won’t be able to close them.”

He knew what she meant and he smiled tenderly at her.  Vegeta closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers.  “I trust you.”

She knew what that meant for him to say those words to her.  Words he’s probably never spoken to another being in his life, not even himself. She parted her legs bit by bit.  Kami, she wanted him there so bad.  His hand slipped in swiftly, not wanting to prolong her torment.  He rubbed the soap over her lips, noting how they trembled with her legs before withdrawing his hand.

He pushed his body just a bit more against hers and urged her under the water.  She followed his lead and the still hot water washed away the soap from her body.  He dropped the loofa and she watched and felt his hands slip and slide over her body as he helped the water wash away the foam.

“Kami, I want to cum.” She whimpered.

“I’ll help you with that in a few minutes.”

She whimpered as he removed her hands form behind his neck.  He turned her around to face him.  Her body flush with more than just the heat of the water and the glow of cleanliness.

“Now—”

“Can I clean you,” she blurted out desperately.  Kami, she wanted to run her hands over his ripped body at least.

He nodded, “Now you clean me.”  He finished saying.

“Oh thank Kami,” she breathed and he smiled.

She put her hands over his biceps, worshipping them with her touch and her eyes, salivating at them for a moment before slowly turning her and Vegeta around so that they’d switched places.  Her hands went to his chest.  Those pectorals, she bit her lip again, she loved how his chest had pressed against her breasts when he laid on her, rubbed against her breasts when he moved over, in her. A rattling exhale escaped her.

“You’re drooling, Woman.”  His voice was condemning, but his face was all cocky-as-hell smirk and his cock…

“Uhnn, my mouth isn’t the only thing dripping wet.”

This time it was his breathing that hitched.  His chest was heaving now.  Her fingertips gently pushed him back and he stepped.  The water cascaded down his body.  Slipping over every luscious, deeply etched line of him.  She licked her lips, suddenly thirsty as hell.  He growled.  She looked up at his face and his eyes were half-lidded and blazing with fire at her.  Kami, they were both really horny.  Her eyes watched the water weight down the flame of his hair…fall down the lines of his face…neck…collarbone…pecs…oh, fuck those abs (I could go for a six-pack right now)…finally streaming along his erect rod and dripping off it.  She squeezed her eyes shut.  Legs shut. Looking away.  She had to calm down.

“Calm down, calm down,” he soothed and dare not touch her.  He was barely holding on by a thread himself.  Seeing her barely able to keep her hands off him, fighting the undoubtedly severe urge to jump and ride him until she lost her voice…till he lost his voice.  “Bulma—”

“Don’t say that right now.  I’m gonna cum if you say it again.”  She held her hand up to silence him as she struggled to regain control of herself.

“What the fuck do you think I’m going to do if you don’t stop looking like that?  Do have any idea how much I want throw you up against the wall and take you until it’s ground to dust behind you?  Then throw you on the ground and pound you until I can’t breathe?  How about wanting to crawl out of here on our hands and knees and doing you sore on the floor of this bathroom?  Grinding you into the carpet right outside the door?  How about ending up right back in your bed and making love to you until the fucking thing shatters?!”

She stared at him. Eyes wide and clear.  She pointed at the shelf of bottles behind him—

“Is that…?”

He nodded without looking back,

“When did you bring a bottle of your shampoo and body wash and your own loofa in here?”

“I told you that I came in here before I went to meet you.”

She took a deep bracing breath then stepped closer to him, she saw him brace himself as well.  With a trembling hand, she reached past him and took up his royal blue sponge and the grey bottle of body wash.  She opened it, squeezed a dollop of white, creamy gel on the sponge, closed the bottle, and put it back on the shelf.  She pulled the sponge to her and rubbed her fingers over it until it frothed with a clean yet musky smell.  She looked up at him…was that admiration she saw in his eyes? For what?  The ability to control herself while standing in a hot shower with the sexiest fucking man she’s ever seen in her life after he just told her all the ways he wanted to fuck her into a coma after they showered together? …Okay, so yeah, that’s pretty damn admirable of her.

A mischevious grin crossed her face, she bit her lip again, and pressed the loofa to his ripped chest…and squeezed.  She watched the foam seep over him…down him…clinging to then dripping off his cock. She licked her lips again, “Sooo creamy,” she purred.

“Gods dammit Woman! I told you not to do that.”

“Nooo, you told me to stop looking like that, I’m looking at you now.”  She giggled.

Suddenly he reached out and yanked her against his body. She gasped, stunned in his arms. He stared right into her eyes, “Don’t tempt me.”

She leaned closer, “Don’t tempt me, what?”

She could feel his heartbeat throbbing in his cock pressing against her.  He could probably feel her heartbeat raging in her core, she sure as hell could.

“I’m not saying it, Woman.”

Bulma looked away from him, putting a pout on her face as she watched herself move the scrub over his perfect chest.

“I could make you,” she warned, her hands slipping the lather of suds over his skin.

“You could try.”  He watched her tensely.  “I know the game you’re playing, Woman, I did it to you just a moment ago.”

“Your hands all over my body.”

“Yes.”

“And I was helpless,” her eyes rose to meet his.

He worked his mouth, mulling it over shortly, before nodding.  He lifted his hands and balled his fists behind his head.  Surrendering to her the way he’d guided her to do for him.  “You clean me.”

The scrub moved, slowly tracing playful designs over his chest, her hands lathering the suds of his pectorals.  Her touch was like lightning.  Vegeta’s skin tingled while a storm raged in his chest.  He hadn’t been kidding about nearly cumming just watching her squeezing her legs shut and refusing to look at him.  To think that she couldn’t handle his touch anymore, that she wanted to feel him inside her again so badly…it was intoxicating, addicting.

Her hand and the scrub moved lower…lightning zinged through each muscle of his abs.  How he wished it was her lips?  Those soft, plump, pink lips of hers.  The matching set to the soft, plump, pink lips between her legs.  He groaned as one of her nails suddenly trailed on his skin.

She didn’t look up at him as her hand and the scrub went lower…Fuck, he bit his own lip. She was going there, going there the way he had.

“It’s alright,” her voice was soothing.

“I trust you,” he repeated quietly.

The scrub slipped down the plunging vee of his lower abdomen…and along the shaft of her rock hard cock.

“Fuck,” he gasped. His cock throbbed.  His cock throbbed so bad for her.  Any part of her.

She answered his prayers.  Her hand lathered the white foam over his shaft and head with swiftly, minimized his arousal as much as she could just like he had.  Then she dropped his loofa as her fingertips gently pushed against his chest.  He stepped back again and the water washed over his chiseled body.  Her hands helped it sluice the foam away from his caramel skin…she felt fantastic.

“I’m aching for you.”

“I’ll help you with that when I’m done with your hair.”

He lowered his hands as she reached past him again.  Vegeta admired her restraint, he hadn’t realized she had any when he first came to Earth, but the more time he spent around her, observing her, he realized she was a creature of restraint.  She teased, she played, but she held herself back.  And now, she teased him with her touch, she played with him with her laughter, but when she was so close to him, she kept herself from the raging desire consuming both of them.

Her reach brought back his bottle of shampoo.  He dipped his head back and the water poured down the back of his head, rewetting his hair as she flipped the bottle’s cap.  She balanced delicately on the tip of her toes and poured a few dollops of mint green, creamy gel onto his doused black flame.  She recapped the bottle and put it back.  She balanced on tips of her toes and ran her hands through his hair…and lost her balance.  She rose on tiptoes again…and again eventually lost her balance.

She was struggling and his hands went out to hold her hips.  She stared at him for a moment then nodded.

“I trust you,” she told him.

One of his hands slipped off her hip and down the back of her thigh to hike up on of her legs over his hip…then he reached behind her with his other hand and lifted her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he held her as her fingers smother the gel over his head then working her fingers through his hair…massaging his scalp with firm pressure, nails sending surprise thrills down his spine whenever they made contact his scalp. When she was sure she’d got his hair as clean as she could, Bulma smoother her hand over Vegeta’s forehead.

“Close your eyes,” she whispered and he obeyed.

She gently tipped his head back.  Her hands and fingers worked through his hair again helping the water rinse the dirty suds away.  He let his shoulders sag under her pleasant, tender attentions.  Kindness, it was pure kindness.  Pure care.  What she’s always shown him.  Shrieking temper aside, she’d never done anything to harm him, not ever.  At first he thought she was tricking him, lulling him into a false sense of security before going in for a strike to bring him down, but that strike never came, he just woke up to her maintaining vigil at his bedside after some reckless behavior blown both him and the Gravity Room to smithereens.  He had baffled him that he would wake up to her by his side…then she kept taking care of him.  Every cut, every bruise, every ache and pain, she was there with bandages, there with ice packs, there with healing salve that soothed his body…and her smile and bright eyes soothed his soul.  She’d become a sanctuary to him.  He found solace in her presence…in her voice…in everything about her.  She lifted his head back up.  His heart pounded in his ears.

“Clean,” he asked.

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Finally,” he breathed, turned, and two steps later his hands provided cushion as her back hit the wall, they kissed with all the passion they’d been denying themselves.

“Inside, Vegeta, inside,” she gasped.

One pelvic thrust and he was into her waiting, spread core to the hilt.

“Ahhh, yes,” Bulma moaned putting her forehead against his.

And Vegeta kept thrusting and thrusting and thrusting.  Bulma’s lips found his and devoured him hungrily.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah,” she moaned with each move.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah,” he grunted with her.

Their lips brushing against each other.  Their breaths puffing over each other’s mouths.  Her legs tightened around him.  A hand slipping into the hair at the back of his head, the other gripping his shoulderblade.  One of his hands tightened it’s grip on one of her plump ass cheeks, the other threading it’s fingers into her teal hair, cupping the back of her skull.

“Uhnn, Vegeta.”

“My Bulma.”

*                      *                      *

His feet landed on the grounds of Capsule Corp for the first time in months.  Yamcha still wasn’t sure how he was going to get in, he’d flown out of his apartment so fast that he’d forgotten the spare set of keys that would have let him in without having to ring for someone first…Her balcony!

Yamcha flew up and around until he spotted her balcony…and his.  That murdering, evil bastard’s room was right next to hers.  Was that how he’d moved in on her?  Worked on her when Yamcha wasn’t around?  How had he come sniffing around Bulma?...Or had he just taken what he’d wanted one night then Bulma was so traumatized by it that she convinced herself that he had feelings for her rather than admit to herself what really had happened?  Yamcha’s fists clenched.  Was that it? Or was Vegeta using Bulma to keep getting free stuff and the free ride—immediately the image of Vegeta bouncing a helpless Bulma on his crotch while she screamed and begged to get away from the homicidal maniac’s sadistic grin haunted his thoughts.  My poor Bulma!  Yamcha dove for her balcony.

*                      *                      *

“Oh Kami, Vegeta, you’re always so good to me.” Bulma moaned as his tongue and lips made the most sinful meal out of her neck.  With every thrust, his tongue worked magic over her pulse and her nails dug into his luscious, caramel skin.  “More, uhnn, more.”

He picked up his past and her body shuddered.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she breathed with every thrust.

He buried his face in her neck and just focused on slipping himself deeper and deeper into her faster and faster.

“Uhnn, Vege-, ah, ah, ah, Ve-, ah, Ve-, ah, Fuck, ah, ah, Ve-, Ve-,”

Words failed her again.  They always did with him.  He loved hearing his name die on her voice, replaced with agonizing moans as her body tightened with his.  His balls were wrung tight so much so that he’d thought he’d cum just by entering her. Her walls gripped with him with sticky desperation.  Even now he could feel them tremble against his own throbbing.

“You want to cum,” he couldn’t help but moan the question as he slowed for a moment.  It was still nowhere near the excruciatingly slow rhythm he used when he made love to her, but it was much slower than before.  He exchanged speed for powerful thrusts that moved both their bodies in sweeping movements up and down the wall.  

“Oh ffuuck, yes,” she gasped as her held fell back, “Uhnn, ah Kami, uhnnn.”

He could feel her wetten more.  His own cock started trembling.  He wanted her walls to flutter.  He wanted her sweet, agonizing pussy to pull the orgasm out of him.

“Cum for me, Woman, uhnn, ah, just for me.”

He’d never begged anyone for anything in his life.  Never groaned and moaned like this with anyone ever in his life.  But her.  His Woman.  He’d do anything for her.

Her legs tighten around him even more.  Her legs trembling.  Her head fell forward again.  Her mouth by his ear in that way that sent chills and thrills up and down his spine.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum for you.”  He breathed.

“Don’t stop, Vegeta, oh Kaa-mmi, don’t stop.”

He picked the pace up a bit for her but not so much that he’d sacrifice how incredibly deep he was getting in her.

“Vegeta!  Vegeta! Vegeta!”

He feel it in her. Her body was starting to still…the calm before the storm that her quaking walls would unleash.  His own body was stilling, his balls clenched so tight they were just waiting for the chance to release in her…Any moment…Any moment. Oh Gods, she felt so good.  So fucking good.  Oh fucking Gods!  He wanted to fill her with so much of his seed they’d repopulate the entire fucking Saiyan race!

*                      *                      *

Yamcha landed on her balcony and rushed through the open doors…

“Holy shit,” he gasped as the overwhelming smell hit him.  He’d never smelled anything like that before.  It was so strong and musky!

But before his mind could even process that, his eyes took note of the clothes on the floor. There were men’s clothes here and—

“—stop.  Vegeta!”

“Bulma!”  He raced to her opened bathroom door and rushed in…

To see Bulma pinned to the wall by Vegeta.  Her legs wrapped around his waist as the Saiyan’s hips moved and his butt muscles flexed with each thrust.  One of her hands gripping into the black hair and the other digging deeply into the Saiyan’s shoulder blade.  But the look on her face…the way she was chanting Vegeta’s name…she was…

“Vegeta!  Vegeta! Vege-, Vege-, ah, ah, uhnn, Vegetaaaa!!!”

Her scream echoed off the walls and her nails drug deep scratches across Vegeta’s back as her toes curled and her legs shook.  Her jaw slackened in a look of the most powerful ecstasy Yamcha had ever seen.

And he felt his heart, everything he’d ever known of her shatter like glass…She’d just cummed. She’d just orgasmed on the thrusting dick of his murderer.  How…how…How could…

“How could you?” The panged whisper barely reached his own ears under the screaming of his murderer’s name.

 Feeling her claw his back, Gods that spurred him.  He kept going and going.  Grunting and groaning.  Thrusting and thrusting.  Gods, he wanted to join her.  Her walls were beating against his cock and he wanted his cock to…to…Fuck!  Fuck!

“Bul-, Bulmaaa!  Uhnnn, Bulmaa!  Ah, Bulma,” he breathed into the side of her beautiful neck.  His cock jolted.  His hips jerked and slammed into her as he cock released his seed into her sticky, wet core.  He moved his hips over and over.  Helping her sweet, sweet walls milk him.  Milk him dry. He couldn’t give her enough.  She held on to him with the most loving arms and tender embrace in the universe and he knew he could never give her enough. But dammit he would never give up trying.

“You son of a bitch!! Did you just cum in my girlfriend?!!”

Vegeta’s eyes popped open.  Bulma’s head popped up, eyes wide…she screamed.  She screamed bloody murder.

“Noooo!!!! Yamcha, get out of here!  You’re ruining it!  How dare you ruin it!”  She reached for bottle to throw at him, but everything was out of reach.  “Get out of here!”  She cried.  “You’re ruining it!”

Her tears streamed down her face and Vegeta held her, his hand falling from cradling her head to wrapping around her little waist as she fought for something, anything to throw before giving up and descending into wails.  He was terrified about what to do and overcome by how protective she was of what they’d shared…just as protective of their privacy as he was guarded of it, of them.

He turned burning murderous eyes on the pathetic excuse for a man that kept ruining her life. Who had walked in on them in the most intimate moment and ruined how private and precious it was for them.

“GET OUT!!” Vegeta roared as Bulma wept over his shoulder, distraught over the violation of her private joy.

“No!  You get off of her you sick—”

“You bastard!” She wailed, “Yamcha, you bastaaard!”

Vegeta held her tighter, pinning her more to the wall, protecting her and shielding her with his body the way he did after they made love.  His scowl burning another death sentence into the intruder.

Yamcha was stunned. Absolutely stunned.

“This is how?! This is how you get over me?!  By fucking my murderer, you wh—”

“Vegeta, don’t!”

The slur froze in Yamcha’s throat as Vegeta brought up a his hand in a single motion complete with ki blast.  But he didn’t fire, Bulma’s plea staying his hand…for the moment.

“You can’t,” she pleaded, “The room’s too small.”

Vegeta didn’t bother looking around, her bathroom was the same as his.  Any ki blast of killing magnitude would be disastrous in such tight confines and the glass…he’d be shredded shielding her body from it and even then he wouldn’t be enough to protect all of her for the tearing shards. The ki blast died in his palm. But Vegeta kept his palm aimed at Yamcha.

“Really?! That’s it?!  Not ‘Don’t, its Yamcha’, but ‘Don’t, the room is too small’?!”

Bulma was silent, but at least she had stopped crying.  She clung tightly to Vegeta as reddened, sapphire eyes glared fiery daggers at Yamcha.

“You do remember he’s killed me before!  That he’s threatened to kill you!”

Vegeta’s arm tightened around her tiny waist.  He felt her arms tighten around him, her nails digging in possessively.  It thrilled him, but he kept up his glare at Yamcha and his waiting palm never wavered.

“Go back to your sluts, Yamcha,” she growled dangerously, “He’s mine.”

Vegeta’s heart clenched.  She’d claimed him.  She’d claimed him infront of one of her, undoubtedly former at this point, friends with such a clear and daring possessiveness.  Vegeta had never been his own man from the age of six, but this, he wasn’t her property or her slave, he belonged to her because she belonged to him.  His fingers pressed into her flesh, his scowl deepening.

“You think he gives a shit about you?  You really think he here for anything other than getting pampered here by you and your family before killing all of us and destroying the planet?  Really?!  Fine! We’ll see!  We’ll see when I tell your parents!”  Yamcha ran out of the room.

“No!”  Fear filled her entire body in an instant, Vegeta paled.  “Please, Yamcha don’t!  I’ll do anything!  I’ll—” She looked at Vegeta and he looked at her…then she shut squeezed her eyes shut and bowed her head in shame, “I’ll go back to you just don’t do this!”

“Bulma,” Vegeta gasped.  She’d just offered herself in exchange for him…just offered her body to save him…

Her struggles in his arms were desperate and quickly overrode Vegeta’s hold on her.  His stunned face as agape at…her feet hit the floor and she was off, “Yamcha don’t!!”  She was so slippery that she slipped from Vegeta’s reaching grasp and ran out the room, slipping into the bathrobe she hung on the door.  Vegeta shut off the water and hurried out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his waist as he ran after her.

 Her heart pounded in her chest as she ran and ran and ran…she saw a flutter of his jacket as her ran ahead of her.  Tears blurred her vision, “Please Yamcha!”

“No!  That sick freak has to go!”

“Don’t!”

He whipped around a corner.  She followed. They were close.  So close to the kitchen and dining room.  To her parents.

Another corner. There at the end of the hallway, the stairs…and the dining room.

“Yamcha!!”  She was gaining on him.  Desperation and fear pushing her legs to extremes she didn’t know she could get to.

He was at the top of the stairs, a few more lengths and she’d have him…and flew down them. No, she couldn’t fly.  She couldn’t fly.

He landed at the bottom.  Her feet bounding down stairs.

Yamcha went through the doorway and Bulma screamed.  Saying nothing but just wailing for all her lungs could manage.  She clung to the frame of the doorway at the bottom staring in at her parents staring at her and Yamcha.

She was screaming. All Vegeta could hear was her screaming. His feet lifted and he took flight. He saw her clinging to the door frame of the dining area and landed by her side.  He reached for her only to freeze—her parents were watching him, watching all three of them.

“Bulma, dear, what’s wrong?”  The eternally perky Mother asked with a large bowl of fresh fruit in her hands, she’d been about to place it on the table when her daughter had screamed, the sound freezing her in place, “Oh and Yamcha and Vegeta, are you boys hungry?”

Vegeta knew enough to know that the Mother was trying to diffuse the situation with feigned innocence, but the Mother was as smart and wily as the Woman she’d given birth to. The Saiyan knew to keep his mouth shut…the idiot didn’t.

“Do you know what they were doing?!”

The movement caught Vegeta’s eyes; Bulma was trembling like a leaf, panting, eyes wide with terror. She’d offered to give herself back to a relationship that made her miserable to protect him…she…he’d…Vegeta’s chest clenched like he were trapped in a vice.

“I caught them screwing in her shower!”

Bulma buried her face in the wall.  Eyes squeezed shut.  “No,” she sobbed, “They’ll throw him out.  No.”

Vegeta had never felt such a rage before at the sight of his Woman in anguish.  How dare that weakling!

“Oh, shower sex in the morning!  How exciting!”  The Mother chirped.

Wide, stunned eyes gaped at Mrs. Briefs.

“Wh-what?” Yamcha couldn’t believe his ears.

“Oh-ho-ho,” Panchy giggled, blushing as she eyed her daughter and alien houseguest, “I guess that explains how underdressed the two of you are.”

Bulma clasped the fold of her bathrobe tighter over her chest while Vegeta gripped the knot of his towel, both suddenly feeling the overwhelming urge to cover up even more.

“You, you,” Yamcha still couldn’t process this, “You knew about them?”

“Well, not this exactly,” Dr. Briefs finally spoke up from his still casual presence sitting at the end of the table with a hot cup of coffee and his newspaper infront of him.  All eyes went to him.  Dr. Briefs’ eyes met Vegeta’s for a moment…the Saiyan Prince nodded barely perceptibly, the Father went on.  “Yesterday, Vegeta came to see me.”

Bulma looked back at Vegeta, but he kept his dark eyes on her father.  Now he was the one who was trembling like a leaf.

“He told me that he and Bulma had had a couple of occasions in which things had, well, one thing had led to another.”

Bulma gasped and pressed herself against the wall.  The line of Vegeta’s lips thinned.  From what he understood of what little he had watched of the thing they called television, a suitor telling the parents of amorous dealings was somewhat taboo. She turned horrified eyes away from him and to her father, “Daddy, Vegeta told you about, about…that?”

“All he said was that two of you had had encounters before and that he, well, he asked permission to date you, my Dear.”

All the fear died. Warmth filled her.  Her eyes cleared, she sniffed.  “He, he what?”

“Vegeta asked permission to date you and perhaps do more if you would allow it.”

Bulma felt herself glowing.  No one had ever…she felt so…Vegeta. She turned—he was gone.

“But, but,” Yamcha sputtered.

“Yamcha,” Dr. Briefs turned his paternal voice to him, “what goes on between Bulman and Vegeta is none of our business.  They are two grown adults engaging in a grown adult relationship, we are not in it with them. Now, come, sit down and have some breakfast will you?  Bunny just made a lovely spread.”

Yamcha’s cheeks reddened and he felt as flushed and shy as he had when he’d first met Bulma…when they were kids…But they weren’t kids anymore.  They’d stopped being kids awhile ago.  That was no kid that was having sex with Vegeta in a shower and he wasn’t a kid when he’d been caught in bed with one of her dearest friends…and never went after her as she ran sobbing from his apartment…when he stayed with that friend for the rest of the night, drowning his guilt and sorrow in her soft soothing words—lies, he’d fallen for the woman’s lies so that he could face himself in the morning…he’d hidden from Bulma and her friend and everyone except Puar.  But Vegeta had been there for Bulma when he’d hurt her.  Had been there to comfort her in an apparent physical way that had…well…Yamcha’d lost Bulma to the man that had killed them because at least that murderer had been honest with her.

“Uh, no,” Yamcha looked at the toes of his shoes, “I should leave.  I, I have, uh, training, uh, with the team.  Thank you though, uh.  Bye.”

He turned and walked away.

Bulma watched him go then looked back at her parents.  She met her father’s eyes…he nodded, she nodded.  He went back to his paper and coffee as her mother finally put the bowl of fruit down on the table.  Bulma turned and ran back up the stairs.

*                      *                      *

He stalked back and stopped in the hallway.  To his right was the door to his room and just beyond was the door’s to hers, still open and still seeping just the slightest hint of their sex in the air coming out of it.  It had all been like a dream.  Some sort of fantasy that he’d been too scared to allow himself to have when he was younger…under Freiza.  The lizard had never allowed him to have anything, kept Vegeta on a tight and punishing leash, but at least Vegeta had had dreams.  Granted, they had been dreams about destroying the one hold the leash, the one doling out the punishment, dreams about immortality and universal domination.  But this dream, his fingers shifted and he felt the softness of her towel beneath them. She had been magical.  She had been on Namek.  She had been when he thought she was finally rid Yamcha.  She had been when he’d called her his for the first time and taken her from that stupid club and she’d taken him for most of that night.  She had been when he’d decided to forgo a day’s training to be with her…and made love to her for the first, but not last, time.

“Vegeta?”  Her voice was soft behind him.

Vegeta turned around.

Something had changed. All her fear was gone.  Any anger he had expected to get from violating some sort of social taboo with her parents wasn’t there at all.  She was…tender and her eyes were filled with the same warmth he felt in his chest when she’d offered herself to Yamcha in order to make sure her parents never found out about them and threw Vegeta out.  She didn’t have to do that, but she didn’t know that at the time.  She didn’t know that he’d held to the Saiyan tradition of attaining the parents’ permission to court a female…and she didn’t know that he’d also asked permission to become her mate.  Her Father had asked what that meant for Saiyans and Vegeta had explained.  The Father sat for quite some time in thought before giving his permission and blessings then proceeded to help Vegeta tie that ridiculous tie before he left Dr. Briefs’ personal lab and went to prepare Bulma’s room for their return.

Vegeta felt something himself.  He felt hope.

“You, you told my Dad.”

He nodded, standing stock still.

“You asked his permission to…to be with me?”  He could see her eyes start to redden again, the wet brimming in them again.

He nodded, felt stinging at the back of his own eyes, “I did.”

She stepped closer to him.  His breathing caught in his chest as he watched her.  She reached for him—then stopped.  His heart chilled, she’d stopped herself from touching him.  Could it be that that warmth in her eyes…had it been pity?

“I, uh,” she floundered and her hands retreated from him, “I, uh, think you should focus on your training today, okay?  And I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

He felt his shoulders tingle with the urge to droop.  His crest on the brink of falling…

“And then I,” he couldn’t believe he was begging like a puppy like this, “then I…I return to your room after evening meal again?”

He whole demeanor changed.  Her eyes went dry, she held her robe closed against her chest, and every sense about her was suddenly distant.  She’d shut herself off from him.  In the course of a single heartbeat, she’d shut herself off from him.

“I, uh, no, not tonight.”

His crest shattering when it hit rock bottom.

“We should get some rest, don’t you think?”

He didn’t say anything.  He was struggling to put his mask of indifference back on as quickly as possible. How could I have been so foolish?  How could I have been so weak?!

“Sure.  Fine then.  You can rest, Woman,” he spat the name.  Before turning and opening the door of his room, he slammed it shut behind him.  She could keep those damn clothes, he never wanted to see them ever again!!

She flinched at the bang but she figured it was coming.  They’d been so hot and heavy for each other for the past couple of days that putting any amount of brake on would come with anger.  For Kami’s sake, she’d had to stop herself from touching him just a moment ago.  She knew if she laid even so much as a fingernail on his skin that she jump into his arms and demand that he do to her all the things he said he’d wanted to; the floor of her shower would still be wet after all, get some really good traction for them. But no, she’d stopped herself because if she did that, if they did that, she wouldn’t even have the slim prayer that she did now of finishing what she wanted to work on…for him.  She hurried into back into her room and threw her bathrobe on the floor as she dove through drawer after drawer for clothes.  The smile wouldn’t leave her face and she didn’t want it to.  He’d asked permission…He had asked permission!...For her!  Her cheeks were starting to ache but she didn’t care.  She was going to make this the best surprise for Vegeta, Her Vegeta!!  She laughed.

Something flew past by her room outside her balcony.  She knew instantly that was him.  She raced over and leaned over her railing to watch him rush into the Gravity Room on the lawn.  Then Bulma ran back into her room and finished dressing.  Oh-ho-ho, he was going to love this, just love it!  At least, she hoped he would.  Oh, she just couldn’t wait to get started!  She squealed as she threw on her lab coat as she walked out her door.  Then Bulma stopped, the towel was on the floor in the middle of the hallway.  Well…Vegeta must have tossed it out his door.  He didn’t have to that, her Mother was bound to be on her usual daily cleaning assault on the whole their residence and would surely have picked it up for laundry, but oh well.  Bulma snatched it up and tossed it into her room before closing the door and making an all out dash for her own personal lab, skipping at times.

*                      *                      *

As soon as he slammed his door on her, he slumped back against it.  He should have known!  He should have fucking known!  She would never truly attach herself to him. No one would!

Vegeta squeezed his eyes shut against the torturous stinging and immediately felt them.  Tears! The Prince of All Saiyans, the Destroyer of Worlds, crying over some stupid Woman?!  But he couldn’t stop it.

She’d rejected him. The moment she’d stopped herself from touching him, he felt fear creep into his body like he never had under Freiza. And when she shut herself off…Vegeta gasped, fighting hard to keep the tears back but some fell anyways.  FUCK! His fist balled and shook with his pain, no one had ever hurt him the way she just had.  Not even Freiza.  Suddenly he ripped off her towel from his waist, turned, opened his door, and flung it out into the cold hallway.  He closed the door on it, on her, on all of it.  He was back.  Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyans.

He stalked over to the dresser and chose his old Saiyan flightsuit and armor.  Battered, broken in places, battle-worn…it was like him, had been with him through it all.  This was the only true attachment he had, his pride, his strength as a Saiyan. He slipped the clothes on and felt anger at himself that neither felt like a second skin to him anymore.  Well, he would fix that.  She told him to train…and train he will.

Vegeta walked out onto his balcony, and turned to the Gravity Chamber on the distant lawn.  Then he heard it, the laugh, her laugh…He felt the tears again.  She was laughing at him, laughing to herself about how she’d duped him into, into—No, he wasn’t saying it!  He would never say it!  Vegeta shot past her balcony on his flight to the Gravity Chamber.

He flung open the door, rushed in, and slammed the it shut behind him.  This, this was his sanctuary.  A place of nothing but battle.  With machines.  With himself. Constant war!  He flew over to the control panel and began setting his parameters as the tears continued to stream from his eyes.  He’d never allow himself to dream again.  Dreams were for fools.  Dreams were for idiots like Kakkarot.  Dreams were…dreams were…his hand began to tremble over the buttons…Dreams were not for him…

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

1/10/2018 Horoscope

Aries: You aren’t angry. You aren’t really sure why, you kind of wish you still were. It was easier than whatever you’re feeling now. But each time you try to resummon that burning fire, it’s doused before it can light by the same thing that made you crack your phone screen. You aren’t really sure what you’re feeling, but it’s cold and choking. 

Taurus: The flamingos from the zoo have formed a biker gang, complete with black leather jackets. You actually had nothing to do with that, for real this time, and you’re kind of loving it. They apparently watched an old movie and decided that was the life they wanted and also that they were going to try to ride to Kentucky. It’s actually making you giggle as you wave goodbye with an overzealous otter and an emotional hippo.

Gemini: The owl is off taking care of all your kingly duties for you. You and Frederick are on the couch, waving to the traffic that has to go around you. You’re surprised they haven’t moved this couch yet. The weasel comes walking up to you, somehow not getting hit by any cars, and there’s a minute of an awkward stare off. You shrug Frederick to the side, then gesture the weasel up. More company is always welcome on the traffic couch. The weasel takes your invitation.

Cancer: Ridali crashed at your place. He was oddly hesitant to do so, like he thought you wouldn’t let him, but you’ve let him stay over before, so why...? Anyway, you wake up to the expected smell of cooking food. It’s scrambled eggs and Ridali has put catsup on his. You do the same, it’s very good. Ridali announces that you need to go grocery shopping. You ask when you two are going to do so, and he freezes. You tell him that he’s the only one who really cooks in this kitchen, so he’d know what to get and you really, really don’t. He bounces back and enthusiastically starts planning your Shopping Adventure™. Its a bit more in-sync with the Ridali you know.

Leo: Fira is back, but instead of shouting your usual trash talk across the square, you walk straight up to her and warn her that your neighbors are planning something, and they won’t tell you what it is, but it’s probably something devious. Fira is very obviously amused, but she doesn’t know Mrs. and Mrs. Nice like you do. She thanks you for the warning anyway, even if it feels a bit mocking. She’s still not at 100%, so you try to stick close by for the day. Neither of you will say it, but she’s grateful and you’re relieved.

Virgo: You try to be more open this time around. It shows. You still don’t say much, but you do manage to actually tell her a part of the problem, your complete lack of energy. She’s very happy that you brought your box. She gives you some papers to put in it. You set up another appointment with her, it’s for the 17th. She gives you some homework, she wants you to think about why you have no energy, is there a reason? If you’re comfortable with it, she’d like you to write it down, in a journal or on a spare sheet of paper. You’re still very uncomfortable and it shows.

Libra: The tiny Belief Shaper is dropped off today. You make eye contact with Lambab and have an idea of what the unidentifiable being was suggesting. One way to find out.

Scorpio: It wasn’t that exciting, but it does make for a nice story. Enough of that, though, you should eat, it’s past time for dinner. You need to eat, humans need to eat daily to stay healthy. 

Sagittarius: You wake up and the first thing you see is the giant eye staring straight at you. You flail, shriek, and fall out of bed. The eye blinks. You pause, look around. You’re in your bedroom. You’re in your bedroom? Why are you in your bedroom? You were just having tea with a probably-eldritch old woman in a probably-eldritch location, how in the fuck...? Okay, wait a second, did the eye fucking blink? The eye can’t blink! Why did it blink, how did it blink?! You don’t trust this one bit, there is some sort of fuckery going on. You try to slowly edge to and out the door, but when you try to turn the handle, it won’t budge. You tear your eyes away from the eye and focus on the handle, because what. You try again. No dice. So that’s how it is? Another try, another failure. That’s how it is. You slump against the door. Yeah, pretty sure this is some sort of eldritch location, that’s basically confirmed. The eye stares.

Capricorn: You think this could work? It’s got a pretty good chance, at least. You get very close to wanting to be able to read the script concerning Aiden. You think you have to ask him before you can go any further. You haven’t been genuinely nervous in years, you didn’t miss the feeling.

Aquarius: You are wearing one hell of an outfit. Your favorite sweater, the redder than red one that doesn’t quite fit right, your favorite pants, the eye-wateringly orange ones with the multi-purple polka dots, with your hat and mittens, which somehow match your pants, and all topped off with your overly long, grass green scarf. It’s warm and you like it. Suzy about swallows her tongue when she sees you, shoulders shaking. She disappears into the back for a while, and you continue with your exercise routine on your own. She comes back, having found her composure somewhere in the back, when you’re finishing up, big smile on her face. She asks what you’re wearing, voice lilting in an odd way. You think she was laughing at you, but you’re not sure. You tell her what you’re wearing. The sweater that was given out of worry and was how you met Linda, the pants you bought out of spite when you were overwhelmed with choices, the mittens and the hat that Linda made with you in mind and managed to do the impossible with and match your pants, and the scarf you made with your own two hand that you were obnoxiously proud of and how new pride is. You talk for a long time, it’s probably the most you’ve ever said to her, but these are important to you. You somehow even work your way around to mentioning the piece of candy, the first gift you can remember being given. As you speak, the spark of amusement in her eyes softens into something else. Care? Affection? You think there’s at least a little bit of worry, or something sad in there, but you’re too out of practice reading others that you can’t be sure. You finally trail off and she says they mean a lot to you. It’s not a question, but you nod. 

Pisces: You smash the vial, why would you do that? It was harmless, it was helpful. Child, you should have kept it. It was getting hard to resist taking it and you don’t trust yourself or your contradictory stars. Your stars wouldn’t be contradictory if you’d listen. It was a responsible foolish choice, you did good. It was hurting you more than it was helping you. You should trust your stars. You sweep up the shattered glass, taking care not to cut yourself. You’ll try your best to sleep tonight. 

[harryslibra-blog]

A Visit To The Past (Part II)

It’s been requested many times so here it is. Hope you enjoy it. x 

(Part I)

 "It's on September 21st."

  Harry can't quite put a finger on the way his sister looks at him. Her thick brows pulled together and she's biting the inside of her cheek. Anne's asleep in her room, it's 2 am in the morning and two siblings are having a heart to heart session. Gemma sighs after taking a little time to think about all the things Harry said. "How do you even know the date Harry? I'm sure she hasn't send you an invitation." Harry is a little taken aback, he is not expecting her first reaction to be this.

  "Well, we still have some common friends-"

  "Harry…" she sighs again. "Do not interfere, please don't do anything to mess with her mind. Don't you ever try to change her mind."

  "Hey!" Harry scowls at his sister, he was having this session to feel better but he's feeling worse already. "Of course I won't do anything. I mean, she's getting married." He says this a lot lately and every single time it hits him like a truck, leaves a heavy weight on his chest. "Fuck Gemma, she really is getting married." His head falls down, he places the heels of her palms on his forehead and presses hard. He feels the warm hand of Gemma on his shoulder, rubbing softly and she leans in to place a small kiss on his temple.

  "She came here." She says, the guilt clear in her voice. Harry's head snaps up so fast he dodges a neck injury in the nick of time. "Like a month after your break up, she called me asking if she could come for a visit and she made me and mum promise not to tell you about it."

  "What- Gemma…" He's at lost for words, his first instinct is to look around as if you were there now. "You're the snitch of the family and this is the time you decide to keep a secret?"

  "As if you're the best at it." she snorts. "Mum, it's a bag!" An annoyingly accurate imitation of Harry.

  "What did she do? I mean why would she even come here in the first place."

  "She wanted to say goodbye." Gemma says. "Even if she tried to play it cool she was devastated, even mum could see so she convinced her to spend the night. She was…"

  Harry's eyes locked on the coffee table, he's having short visions of your small frame visiting Holmes Chapel, heartbroken (Y/N) coming all the way across the ocean to get a closure he couldn't give to her. "She was what?" he asks but from the tone of her sisters voice, he knows it's something he wouldn't want to hear but he deserves it.

  "Well, mum gave your old room to her and she was crying the whole night." Gemma puts her arm around his shoulder. "This is why you should stay away Harry." she continues. "You had your new album, the tour, your first movie and everything to keep your mind away from her but she went through it all alone and now she's moving on."

   He goes to his room not later from that conversation and after everything Gemma said, Harry's room has left behind his childhood memories and now haunting him with the thought of you sitting on his bed and crying yourself to sleep. His last memory with you in the room is having you on the same bed but he can't erase the image of you lying there all alone with tears dropping on the pillow. The sun is about the rise up and he feels as if thick syrup running through his veins, his mouth has a sour taste from drinking all that coffee. As soon as he lays down the feeling of a darkness lying upon him, suffocating him. The sheet stings at his skin, he inhales deeply as if he's trying to grab the smell of you if there's left any. How is it possible to sleep while your ghost is lying next to him, looking deep into his eyes? Only thing that left from you in the room is a huge guilt and sorrow he thinks as he makes his way to the downstairs to sleep on the sofa.

***

  "I think they look great." your best friend says as she looks at your wedding invitation cards. "S' just like how you want it to be."

  "I don't know." you haven't taken a proper look at the cards yet. Anything about the wedding is making feels oppressive. The dress, the invitation, the cards it's all a little too much for you to handle lately. "They're alright I guess."

  You've been dealing with the cards for a long hour now and you're looking for an excuse to set yourself free. Channel E! is open on the telly and you're watching wedding dress shows absentmindedly. You're folding the cards as the show ends and your hand hesitates for a moment. The name you want to write down on the cards is definitely not on the guest list. But she is someone you want at the wedding with you, someone you want to earn their congrats from. She's his sister, it may be awkward but she also is an old friend, isn't she? But before you can touch the pencil on the card you’re straddled to hear his name and look up at the TV.

  "No." you say to your best friend who's taken the remote to change the channel.

  "You sure?" she gazes at you, trying to figure out what you're thinking. You just nod and put down the card that you've been holding. It's 'Celebrity Style Story'. You see sixteen years old Harry, at the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part I premiere, with his then bandmates. The photos are taken long before you met him but they still put a wide smile on your face. Then him at the Brit Awards, at the VMA's, This Is Us premiere… The reporters say he has an unusual taste even back then and he's rocking the fedora hats in 2014. Just then a photo of you and him comes on the screen, it's from the first time that you were going to a big event as a couple. You remember him holding your hand so tight and whispering how amazing you look in your ear throughout the night the photo was taken. He was as excited as you are but he kept saying 'They're gonna love you Muppet, they'd be crazy not to. I mean look a'yeh.'

  The photo disappears from the screen and you wipe off a tear from your cheek. Your best friend turns the TV off and you take a deep breath, avoiding her gaze. "I'm getting married." you whisper to yourself and it's only making you feel worse. You swallow the choking feeling growing in your lungs and your lips tremble as you speak. "I'm doing the right think, yeah?"

  Your best friend looks at your worriedly and nods her head. "Yes, (Y/N)."

  You look up at her, tears falling down from your cheeks to your hands on your lap. They sting like cigarette burns on your skin. "Then why I feel like I'm not?"

***

   -September 20th

  You flip the pages of the magazine halfheartedly and reading your horoscope. There's nothing to do and your heart feels as if it's going to explode with excitement when you think about tomorrow. It's a completely new beginning and that is just what you needed for such a long time. You used to do everything to please the others and neglect yourself for so long this is your way out. You'll be happy and safe, start only living for yourself and tomorrow is the start.

  You're busy pouring yourself another glass of red wine and nodding your head to the rhythm of the music that plays on the stereo as your phone buzzes on edge of the coffee table. You only realize it after it's fallen down on the floor. You mutter a curse under your breath while getting back to the living room to get it and see nine missed calls on your lock screen and a text.

  'It's Harry."  

  The previous glass of wine insist to get out of your stomach as soon as you see the text and put your phone back on the coffee table. No, you won't call him back. You won't because you don't want to hear the sweet voice calling your name every morning once and wouldn't sleep before saying a goodnight to you every night. The voice that is hard as a whiskey served in a rocks glass in the most intimate moments and captivating as a wonderful aged wine when whispering sweet words in your ear. But no, you won't call back.

  But you haven't said anything about answering if he calls again which he does. An unknown number appears on the screen, your phone buzzes like begging you to take the call. You grasp the phone and slide right to answer. The first thing you hear is a sigh of relief on the other line. "Muppet." he says when you do not speak. "Are you there?"

  "Yeah." you say, sounding a tiny bit out of breath with a hint of anxiety.

  "Yeah." he repeats and clears his throat before speaking again. "I called cause... You know I’ve been thinking about- uhm - do you remember our first dinner alone together?" That's unexpected for you and your mind hesitates to find an answer. "You looked breathtaking that night. I mean - like - like you always do but…" he huffs loudly, you swear you hear him mutter a curse under his breath. "Do you wanna hear a joke?"

  You can't help but laugh at his choice of words. "Harry you're drunk." you blurt out.

  "Mayyybe." he says on the other line and you laugh even more, the sound of your own laughter making you feel warmer. It's been a while since you heard it the last time. Then you both don't speak for a couple of moments, you're listening his breath and surprised at yourself for feeling relieved. You have many things to say so you open your mouth to say something but words get stuck in your throat. "Muppet, I'm a selfish fuck I know." he says and you decide to listen. "But don't do it."

  "What?" you ask confused.

  "Don't…" He starts but groans when he can't form the words. "Don't do it, I mean - tomorrow. Don't say I do." He sounds so ashamed of himself, his voice is only a little bit louder than a whisper.

  "Harry-"

  "I know, I have no right but…" his voice trails off again. "You know what, just do it. Forget this I mean who am I- so late - it's just so late. Just - just pretend like this never happened, alright? You go and get married tomorrow and… and be happy with… him. You deserve it, you've found someone to be happy with-"

  "Harry, listen-"

  "No, you don't have to say anything because I already know it's my fault and you're not mine to have anymore so I'm being a huge twat right now, I shouldn't have called you I don't even know what I'm doing." he gasps for air and continues. "I'll just hang up and… goodnight (Y/N) and-"

  "Harry I'm not getting married tomorrow." you say firmly. When there's no voice from the other side you look at the screen to see if he's still on the line. "Harry?"

  "You're not?" he says quietly. "But the card said September 21st."

  "How do you even-" you start but then let go of a breath you've been holding for long. "Well, the wedding is cancelled."

  "Like postponed?" he asks and you can't help but roll your eyes.

  "No, Harry there won't be a wedding." you say and after a couple of seconds you hear a soft laughter. He's laughing and mumbling little sorrys to you between breaths. Just then you find yourself laughing as well, you grasp the pillow next to you and your eyes stung with tears from laughing too much. "Stop- stop!"

  "You're not getting married!" he yells, the image of him making a toast to the empty bedroom appears in your mind and you shake your head from side to side, then his laughter fades into the silence. "Oh, (Y/N) you… you must be heartbroken."

  You shrug as if you're having a face to face conversation with him, it's so easy, so familiar and warming to talk to him. "I think I'm just broken." you say truthfully. "But it's alright."

  "I'm sorry." he mumbles and you know he means it.

  "Oh good god Harry," you say finally realizing the situation. "You were really going to drunk dial me if I was getting married tomorrow."

  "Yes, but you're not."

  "But I actually was going to get married tomorrow and you-" you raise your eyebrows and take a deep breath. "You called to convince me not to get married Harry." 

  "Told you I'm a selfish fuck."

  You talk for another hour, talking about anything and everything. He even hums you some of the songs he wrote for his upcoming album and you talk about the three birthdays of each other you missed, you talk about your new job which you start tomorrow and he tells you what you need to hear to feel better about it. And it should've been the night you can't get enough sleep because you're excited about getting married the next day but instead you talk to your ex-boyfriend on the phone for hours, not caring slightly about going to your first day at work without almost any sleep. You finally decide to hang up this time and then he asks you if he can take you out to dinner tomorrow and you just give him your new address, without second thoughts or any hesitation, you're already three years late and you don't want to spend any more time in vain. You want to share all the memories you had without him and you have no idea what is going to happen in the future but you just want to share and maybe, just maybe even make new memories with him.

  "I'm on my way Muppet." he says as you finally hang up. "I'm coming to you."

***

If you enjoyed it please like or reblog, thank you for reading. Requests are open in my ask box. Lots of love .x

[themurphyzone]

Oneshot: The Pacer Test

Please note that I may unlock any bad memories associated with this test and I am not responsible for the cost of your therapy.

“Wait, that was today?” Melissa yelped, grabbing the schedule from Amanda. Sure enough, the words ‘FitnessGram Pacer Test’ were neatly written into the 1:00 Wednesday timeslot. She groaned. “I thought it was tomorrow!”

“Nope, it’s today. I even wrote in five minutes of deep breathing exercises to help me get proper air flow afterwards,” Amanda replied. “Were you planning to fake an illness again?” 

Melissa and Amanda stared up at the large, imposing gym doors that spelled certain doom for the athletically challenged and unfit. 

The air was tense as the students huddled together on the sidelines, wishing each other good luck and discussing the distribution of items should one of them fall victim to the electronic killer. 

Chad whimpered, ducking behind Melissa. “Melissa! You’ve gotta help us! I think this is all a ploy for Mr. Drako to get to our precious blood!” 

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Chad, for the last time. He’s not a vampire and he’s not trying to gauge which one of us has the best blood.” 

“That’s just what he wants you to think....” Chad whispered. 

“So, the Pacer test is just a way for you to learn how fit you are!” Milo explained to Zack. “It’s all about stamina and learning how to pace yourself so you don’t tire out and collapse and have to be given Mrs. Greenwood’s mystery soup in the nurse’s office to wake you up!” 

Zack gulped. “You know that doesn’t help much.”

“Next year, I could forge a doctor’s note for a few bucks to get you out of it,” Melissa suggested. “Speaking of which, has anyone seen Bradley? I need to get this note to him before Mr. Drako gets here.” 

“That’s illegal,” Zack said. “And there’s no way he’d fall for it.” 

Melissa waved her hand at him. “Oh, Zack,” she giggled. “It’s only illegal once a person in authority catches you. Which I haven’t. I just forgot to write one for myself this year.”

“I see him! He’s in the corner!” Milo shouted, pointing to the other side of the gym, where Bradley was immersed in a library book. “Hey, Bradley! Bradley! Can you hear me? I”m jumping up and down, waving at you!” 

While Milo waved at him, Melissa quickly grabbed his vest and pulled him away from the sports balls, which collapsed from the shelf. The balls rolled across the gym, tripping other students who were still standing in groups and chatting. 

Melissa and Milo kept to the wall as they headed towards Bradley, avoiding any stray balls. 

Bradley looked up briefly from his book, rolling his eyes. “Milo,” he said sourly. Milo didn’t notice, grinning widely at him. “Hey, Melissa. I’ve got your five dollars.” 

“Sweet! Let’s trade!” Melissa exclaimed, handing over the forged doctor’s note. Bradley read it quickly, then handed over a crisp five-dollar bill. “Pleasure to do business with you.” 

“Likewise,” Bradley said, snapping a picture of the note on his phone. 

“So what book are you reading?” Milo asked. 

Bradley hugged the book protectively. “An obscure novel from a sci-fi series you’ve probably never heard of,” he replied. 

“Try me,” Milo said. “My sister’s a big fan of Dr. Zone so I know a lot about sci-fi works!”

“Catch up later,” Melissa said. “Mr. Drako’s here! Better get back to our group. You wanna come, Bradley?” 

Shaking his head, Bradley headed towards Mr. Drako, warily keeping an eye on Milo over his shoulder. 

They rejoined the others, Melissa watching Bradley and Mr. Drako discuss the note. Thankfully, he accepted the note with little argument. 

“I’m a little nervous,” Mort confessed. “My horoscope said that if I do any type of heavy exercise today, I’m going to be run over by a horde of guinea pigs.”

“I plan on stopping after fifteen,” Amanda said. “I allocated one and a half minutes for myself on the water fountain afterwards.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure the rest of us are used to things running after us, so we’ll be fine! Right, guys?” Milo asked. 

Nobody else commented until Zack broke the silence.

Zack laughed. “It’s really not that different from any other form of exercise they make us do in gym or practice. You guys sure are nervous over nothing!”

Melissa liked optimism. She really did. But too much would result in being stomped on, crushed, and broken by the harsh reality of the public school system they had to live through. 

“Well, time to get this over with,” Mr. Drako announced. “There’s plenty of room for fourteen people, so spread out on the line.”

Melissa and Zack were the only ones who remained close to Milo’s vicinity. Everybody else huddled on the far side. 

Cowards, the lot of them. 

Bradley sat in a plastic chair by the desk, absorbed into his book. 

“Okay then,” Mr. Drako said. “Remember, pace yourselves so you don;t drop dead in the middle of class. The coffins I have are decoration only.”

Chad whimpered. “He’s gonna kidnap our corpses....”

Melissa did several quick stretches as Mr. Drako turned on the old tape deck the school had provided for their class. 

“The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult-”

The monotone voice was promptly drowned out by a student’s scream. Mr. Drako paused the tape deck as everyone turned to look at Jodi, who was messing up her hair as she wildly looked around. 

“I CAN”T TAKE IT!” she screamed. “THE PACER ISN’T PUTTING THIS GAL IN A CAST AFTER SHE FINALLY GOT IT OFF! JODI OUT! PEACE!”

She grabbed her bag from the wall and hightailed it out of the gymnasium. 

“Thirteen now. May the best endurance win!” Mr. Drako said cheerfully as he let the tape play. 

As the voice went through the rest of the introduction, Melissa gave Milo and Zack a silent thumbs up. Milo strapped a helmet to his head as a safety precaution. 

“On your mark, get ready...”

Melissa inched the tip of her sneaker past the line. 

“Start.”

Almost everybody started out on a pace that bordered walking and jogging. However, Zack flew past his peers and made it to the other side with a few seconds to spare. 

Melissa held up her hand in disbelief. He was crazy. 

And she was most certainly not dragging him to the nurse. 

They made it to the other side with little fanfare. Nothing significant had happened...yet. 

Beep.

The next several intervals passed without incident, although Zack’s breathing was growing heavier. 

Crystal dropped out once they passed Level One. 

Zack dropped back to match Melissa and Milo’s light jogs. Melissa thought she was doing pretty well. It was a bit quiet for her liking though. 

A crash came from one of the ceiling pipes on the ceiling, and a family of squirrels dropped out, landing in Chad’s arms. 

“You guys are kinda cute,” he said. Then one promptly climbed into his pants. “I take it back, uh, never thought S.I.M.P would be a valid excuse to not pass the Pacer!” He yelped as he ducked into the bathroom to get rid of them. 

The short wait period between getting to the line and the next beep had disappeared, so they had to turn quickly and dash back as soon as they got there. 

Melissa took several deep breaths. Next to her, Milo was barely winded. On the other hand, Zack was beginning to pant. 

Well, the sooner he learned to pace himself, the better. 

True to her word, Amanda left for the water fountain at the fifteenth beep. Lydia followed her friend, complaining that she wouldn’t have enough energy to practice a monologue in her theater club after school. 

Down to ten people now. 

They continued to run even as the walls began to shake. A large pickup truck crashed through the wall, the flap in the back knocked off by a loose brick. Several mattresses spilled from the bed of the truck, sliding so that they were in Milo’s pass. Melissa hopped over one, while Milo tripped over a corner but regained his footing quickly. 

However, Zack flopped down face-first on the mattress and stayed there. Melissa rolled her eyes as Barry and Leo took cues from Zack and laid down on the one next to him. 

Now they had seven people. 

“Yes! A bunch of children fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror! Roll film!” someone from the outside yelled. 

“Do they count this test as a creature of unimaginable horror or were they planning to edit it in?” Melissa joked. 

Milo laughed. “Either one sounds good.”

“You’re trespassing on school property!” Mr. Drako yelled through a megaphone. “You don’t have authorization to film here!” 

“Ooh, we can add a vampire to this film! So glad I thought of it!” the director exclaimed. “And a real vampire too. I’ll be known as the guy who gave vampires a big comeback after years of being overshadowed by werewolves!”

It was amazing how they could still hear the beeps during all the commotion. 

“Well, how was I supposed to know?” A voice with a British accent complained. “It’s not my fault the district comes up with terribly unoriginal names.”

“You could’ve read this sign. This is the middle school. The silo was located next to Jefferson County Elementary School.”

“Middle? Don’t you mean junior high?” 

“This school has ‘middle’ in the name. It’s not called Jefferson County Junior High School. Which is kind of a mouthful and-oh, hey, it’s Murphy! How are you doing, kid?” 

“Great, thanks!” Milo waved at them. He was beginning to slow down, but was otherwise fine. “Melissa, you’ve met Cavendish and Dakota before!” 

“Yeah, I have,” Melissa said, eyeing them carefully. While they’d worked together to defeat King Pistachion, Melissa still remembered them as the guys Chad had mistaken for vampire hunters. “Hello.” 

She turned her focus to the other wall, ignoring them as she dodged rubble and the mattresses. 

Diana and Fred were dragging Sam between them, each supporting a shoulder as he groaned and clutched his chest. “Lungs...burning....dying...light....”

“Don’t be melodramatic,” Diana chided as they took him to the nurse’s office. 

Mort had lasted a surprisingly long time, though he was heavily panting at this point. Then again, Zack probably would’ve lasted a while longer too if he hadn’t rushed ahead at the beginning. 

She had been lagging behind Milo for quite some time. 

“Melissa, if you’re getting tired, you should get water,” Milo suggested. “I have a few water bottles in my backpack if you want.”

She shook her head. “Don’t worry about me. I’m only out when I don’t reach the line in time.”

Beep.

And she’d missed the line by a foot.

“Which is right now,” she muttered as she staggered to the water fountain. Amanda and Lydia were sitting next to each other, both of them still out of breath. 

“Water!” Melissa exclaimed, turning the handle a little too much. A stream gushed out and hit her in the face. “Ugh.” She grimaced and forced herself to take several gulps of the metallic tasting water. 

Definitely should’ve taken Milo up on that offer. 

She walked back into the gym, plucking a guinea pig off the bleachers. “Where did these come from?” she asked Bradley, who had taken refuge under the desk. 

Bradley shrugged. “I have no idea. Can’t a guy just read a book in peace without all this stuff happening?” 

Milo ran back and forth as the funky music played, even with the current guinea pig hazard. Mort half-laughed, half-choked on the ground as the rodents swarmed every inch of him. 

Then a hawk flew in from the open wall, aiming for a guinea pig that scurried around on the desk. Melissa ducked for cover as the talons snatched the tape deck next her, the guinea pig falling into an open drawer as it tried to get away. 

The hawk dropped the tape deck on the wall, and the cassette fell out, bouncing into the main road. Everyone flinched at the sound of cars screeching on their brakes and cat yowls. 

“I think I beat my record!” Milo grinned. 

Then he collapsed on the same mattress as Zack. 

“That went better than last year,” Melissa said. “At least nobody had to be hospitalized because of a broken streetlight this time.”

[brittaden]

For the Drabble Challenge 11, 15, 45 (Luke x Lorelai)

*sorry this took so long*

11

Lorelai swiftly stepped out of the way as a box came tumbling down from the top of her closet and spilled it’s contents on the floor. The crashing sound was just loud enough to attract the attention Luke who was downstairs working on his own spring cleaning, that was all his idea anyways. He would tackle the downstairs while Lorelai tackled their closet.

“What happened?” Lorelai heard Luke call out as he made his way up the stairs and then into their bedroom. “Everything okay?”

“I’m being attacked by my possessions,” Lorelai answered, bending down to examine the forgotten contents of the box. “I just don’t know exactly what they are.”

“This doesn’t look like you’re cleaning out the closet.”

“I have to know what’s in the box to see if we need to keep it or not.”

Luke looked to the still full closet and the minuscule pile of items he assumed didn’t make the cut. “And everything else?”

“Belongs there for a reason.”

He joined her on the floor while she picked over mementos from years past. A worn and tattered book with her name emblazoned in gold lettering drew his attention.

“You kept a diary?”

“Not out of habit,” Lorelai answered. “God knows my mother would somehow find it and use it against me. I only wrote in that post Gilmore economy. It was a gift from Mia.”

“And what did a post Gilmore economy Lorelai write about?” Luke asked, curious as to the early life of Lorelai in Stars Hollow even though he knew plenty from their many years together.

“I don’t even know,” Lorelai said, sighing. “Probably about Rory, how I didn’t know what to write in a diary and I was just trying to use it because Mia gave it to me. She suggested I write about the important things, the things I didn’t want to forget. I’m not a writer.”

“Dear Diary,” Luke started out as he flipped to a random page and began to read her handwriting.

“I may not remember what I wrote, but I never started off with the cliche ‘’Dear Diary.” She reached for the diary, only for him to move out of her reach. “Let me see.”

“Huh,” Luke uttered after he fell silent reading. He looked up at her, smiling that smile that she loved. “Seems like I wasn’t the only one pining.”

“Let me hold that,” Lorelai demanded a little more fiercely.

No, she hadn’t horoscope-in-the-wallet-for-years pined for him, at least not right away. But her thoughts sometimes verged right on the edge of inappropriate and if those were in there, it would be a little embarrassing, even if they were married now. Who knows what past her could have written about the grumpy yet hot diner owner she had just met.

Luke closed the diary, moving even more out of her reach as she was practically crawling across the floor to get to him at this time. “I think this is something we’ll hold onto.”

She was quick on her feet while he was a tad quicker and already headed out the bedroom door with her old diary tucked underneath his arms. Hot on his heels, she shot vague threats at him in an attempt to get back the diary and find out just what was in there.

15

Lorelai slammed the door to her office and launched herself onto the plush chair in the corner that was mainly for decorative purposes. She was already calling Luke before she even had a real chance to get the phone from her jacket pocket.

“I’d kill for a coffee….” Lorelai spoke on her end of the phone call before he even had a chance to say anything. “Literally.”

“Well Taylor is still insisting that I decorate the diner for Thanksgiving and he proposed the idea of town meetings twice a week now to discuss his new musical idea,” Luke replied. “It’s about time someone took him out.”

“You’ll have to drive the getaway car, you know?”

“I just filled the truck up this morning.”

“Death by smothering sounds feasible, you hold him down, I’ll do the rest,” Lorelai replied. “Less chance of a mess, less chance we’ll be caught.”

While he was one to readily discuss ways to annoy and possibly harm Taylor, he knew that something else was up. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t like the new chef, I miss Sookie. They don’t know how to make coffee, not in the way I like and apparently I can’t even make it because the kitchen is their space,” Lorelai began. “The contractors keeps giving me different prices for their work, a pipe burst in one of the rooms this morning, and my jeep is making the weird noise again.”

“The jeep I’ll look at tonight when you get home, I can probably fix the burst pipe, it’s your Inn go in the damn kitchen and fire the chef, and you know Tom has the best prices for his work,” Luke tried to give his solutions to her problems.

“You’re still not Sookie.”

“It would be weird if I was.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do. Give her a call.”

“Maybe later.” She groaned when she heard a knock at the door, which on a day like today just meant another problem to deal with. “I have to go, I’m being summoned. We’ll discuss Taylor’s demise later.”

“I’ll bring the pillow.”

She smiled into the phone before hanging up and shoving it back into her jacket pocket. The knocks at the door sounded again and she managed to move from her relaxed spot towards whatever problem had now occurred.

After dealing with an escape of the horses and firing the latest chef due to a major lack of caffeine and apparent inability to enter her own kitchen, she was back in her office wishing that she could just call it a day already. But there were still problems to be dealt with. And being the owner/lady in charge, she was the one that every came to for solutions. They could wait just a few minutes, at least long enough for her to find her keys and hopefully escape to the diner for a few minutes with the love of her life…and her husband.

Her hopes were dashed when someone knocked at the door. She chose to remain quiet, thinking it would force them to go away. Instead the doorknob began to turn and in walked the two that were just on her mind. One carrying the other.

“The getaway truck is out front, even though I do have to tell you that I don’t think murder is the answer even if it is Taylor.”

She managed to grab the coffee from him before his strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her close.

“This helps,” she whispered. “Plus I don’t look that great in orange.”

He pulled away, dropping a kiss on her head in the process. “I also brought my tools…”

“Dirty,” she chimed in before he could continue.

“To take a look at the burst pipe.”

“Still dirty.” She pulled him back to her and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you.”

He gave a nod of his head that she knew that he appreciated her appreciation of his efforts. That was followed by another nod of his head, but this time in the direction of her office door. “Come on, show me to the problem.”

“My pleasure,” she smiled, before she sidestepped by him and led him out of her office and towards the next problem he could fix.

45

*obviously AU for this purpose*

Lorelai leaned back against the bathroom door, taking a moment that she knew was going to be the briefest moment just to take a deep breath. Outside the bathroom door, the padding of little feet down the hallway was punctuated by screams and giggles before being interrupted with the sound of tiny voices calling out for her and a symphony of small fists pounding on the door.

She could predict what was coming next, so her fingers flipped the lock on the door, just as the feeble attempts of trying to get the door started. She was purposely trying to keep them out…okay maybe she was…but there was a reason.

She loved them more than anything in the world, the two little miracles that had signified she had gotten back together with their father after being separated for the worst year of her life. But they were everything opposite of how Rory was as a child. Not a problem, she could handle it. Especially with Luke. He was an amazing father - a pro with the jam-hands. But they were just a couple months shy of their second birthday when the oh-so-familiar symptoms popped back up in her life. Not that they were trying but they weren’t not trying either.

She finally took the first step and swiped the test from the counter, the pink line indicating what she already knew. Another bundle of joy. And she was excited, even if it meant heading into the terrible two’s with one on the way.

The sounds of the twins babbling for her outside the door was broken up by the sound of Luke asking what was going on. She palmed the test and unlocked the bathroom door, handing it over to him just as soon as she saw him.

“You’re getting a vasectomy,” Lorelai whispered as if the two little ones knew what she was talking about. “That’s final. I think three is our limit.”

She left him standing there and trying to process the news while she guided her two mini-Lukes to the kitchen with the promise of cookies and juice.

[surveysonfleek]

555.

how do you typically introduce yourself in online settings? i never talk to strangers online anymore. tbh i haven’t in the last ten years. what do you think will bring on the end of the world? nuclear war, global warming, black hole, etc. global warming. do you believe in the death penalty? we don’t have that here so i’m not sure. have you ever done role play? no i haven’t lol. my boyfriend and i would not be able to take each other seriously. have you ever/would you ever do anal? no and probably not. it would take a lot of discussion to convince me.

what’s more important- length or width? why? eh, i don’t really have a preference. do you talk dirty during sex? not often. lol. what was your first orgasm like? is it bad that i don’t remember lol. i’m sure it was amazing though. do you own any hair extensions from hot topic? nope. 7-11, sheetz, wawa, or starbucks? starbucks. what do you want to name your kids? i have no idea yet. when the time comes i’ll plan. do you personally know any authors? no. kissed someone within a day of having a bf/gf? no. have you ever kept it a secret from someone that you liked them? basically my high school life. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker? nah. is there anyone you would date on your facebook friend list? i’m already dating him. ever been swimming in a lake or river? yeah a lake i’m pretty sure. first time you kissed the last person you kissed? 2009 lol. have you ever broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so. ever had a near death experience? not really. as a kid i thought it was. when was the last time you held someone’s hand? today. can you play guitar hero? haven’t played in years. who is someone you know that can play the piano well? my cousin. he’s a whiz. who is the best dancer you know? angel. name a time you thought you were going to die? wasn’t this just asked? have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? yup. do you know your neighbors? not that well. i know them enough by first names i guess.

how do you feel about interracial couples? i’m all for it. i’m all for any adult couples. what restaurant do you think has the best french fries? umm mcdonalds. who’s your best guy friend? my boyfriend tbh. do you like fruit roll ups? no. i’d hate when they’d get stuck to my teeth. what’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? hot with hot wind. do you have a kindle or ipad or neither? kindle. growing up, did you see your cousins often? yes but they were older. around what time do you usually eat dinner? 7-8pm. do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? cooked. did you play with legos as a kid? yes!! which bothers you more… spelling mistakes or bad grammar? i couldn’t choose... they’re both terrible. spelling mistakes i guess since i never capitilize my survey answers lol. is there a food that you love the taste of, but makes you feel sick? milk, cheese, all dairy products. which did you discover first, myspace or facebook? myspace, duh. have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem? no. i guess i’ve smoked after i’ve gone through a stressful situation but it never solved my problem. if you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? ugh. nose again i guess. what do you wish you had more knowledge about? world issues. have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? my parents separated after one big verbal fight. so that was kinda hard to to process, it was out of nowhere. do you drink more apple or orange juice? neither.

do you think relationships are hard? they honestly shouldn’t be. but every relationship will go through tough times. what is your favorite pop-tart flavor? none. ever had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with your parents? not properly. do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? no. would you ever get gauged ears? hell no. have you ever been in a school talent show? what for? i was in a dance group lol. so lameeeee.

have you ever dated someone you met online? nope. are you a competitive person? only if i know i have a chance in winning haha. do you believe in aliens? i wouldn’t be surprised. but i’ll believe it when i see it.

do you like dancing? nah. where are you from? sydney. how much more social are you when you’re drunk? about the same... i just get louder. if you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? dakota. what’s your favorite form of exercise? cross trainer. do you like guacamole? looooove. do you consider yourself sexually open minded? for my personal tastes, not really. for everyone else, hell yeah.

how do you feel about porn? idk, i’m a bit weird about it. some scenes are really degrading. who was your hottest ex? no exes. do you want/have kids? no. someday! has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? yes. do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? yes. what’s your favorite flavor of iced tea? peach or mango. have you ever been to a casino? if so, which one(s)? yes. all over the damn world. all over australia, london, barcelona, monaco, venice, brussels, berlin, prague, vegas, toronto, vancouver, montreal, manila, singapore, mauritius etc. my boyfriend and i always like visiting them even though we don’t play big haha. do you love or hate olives? haaaate. have you ever visited a sex shop? yes. do you like the name cindy for a girl? nope. how many sets of keys do you have for your house? one for every member of my family plus a spare set. do you know anyone who has parkinson’s disease? yes. how many cousins do you have? what are their names? man too many. have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? no. do you use instagram? how often do you post there? i look on it everyday. don’t post that often. what’s your favorite brand of beer? i hate beer. i prefer ciders instead. do you like writing? how often do you write? never. i should just to get my mind going. what’s your favorite place to get pizza? domino’s! has there ever been a fire inside your house? tell me the story. no. have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? no. how many piercings do you have? four. do you own any sports bras? where’d you get them from? yes. bonds. what’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? quay and momofuku. who was the last person to tell you that you were beautiful/cute/good-looking? are you attracted to that person too? my boyfriend. and yes. has anyone ever called you stuck-up? no. when is the next birthday in your household and whose is it? my sister’s, next friday. what color are your father’s eyes? brown. in winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie? jacket. have you ever voluntarily read the bible? i have before. how much is gas where you live? $1.47 a litre. what a joke. do you have any gay friends? yes. do you like the state you live in? i guess. who is your favorite person to watch on youtube? jkparty. how often would you say you take naps? usually on my days off when i have nothing to do. have you ever played bejeweled? yes. does your mom have a facebook? yes. have you ever been bitten by a rat? no. why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? i never do that. it’s so bad for the skin. does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? no. did you get lucky on prom night? no. have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? no. last song you had stuck in your head? i forgot. did you ever spill something and actually cry over it? no. do you think that everyone is capable of love? ummm. i’d like to think so but probably not. do you believe in astrology? if you mean just horoscopes, then no. if you had to wear a hat for the rest of your life, what would it be? a cap that suits my head. would you rather have a musical alarm clock or a regular one? regular. when you were little, what was your favorite game? tekken or the sims. do you prefer to wrap gifts or use gift bags? gift bags, let’s be real. wrapping gifts look prettier though. do you own a trenchcoat? yes. are you currently in a smoking environment? no. if a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? yes. have you ever known a guy who caused a lot of drama? lmao yes. have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? yes. what’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? tbh it’s not a big thing here so i don’t have that much knowledge on it. have you ever gone in a sauna? yes. i hate it. out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? blue. do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? no. has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? not that i know of. would you make any changes to your current bedroom? i’d love to but cbf. what animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? panda. do you own many pairs of shorts? yes. is there a certain song you like to head bang to? no. who was or will be the maid of honor/best man in your wedding? i’m not sure yet. possibly my sister. what is your favorite lunch meat? ham. do you still have your tonsils? i do. red or pink? pink! do you have a special talent? eh, idk. where were you born? sydney, aus. do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother?  no. what do you think the hardest part of surviving is?   just the pain of it. do you know anyone with a lazy eye? yep. can you remember your parents’ birthdays? yes, of course. what piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? tbh, none. what brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? haven’t dyed my hair in years. are you any good at applying make up? i’d like to think so but i have a lot more to improve on. are you currently wearing any hair accessories? which ones? no. do you like potato chips? not really. unless there’s dip. gold or silver? white gold. is there an animal that creeps you out? cockroaches. have you ever seen northern lights? no, it’s on my bucket list! do your parents smoke? no. is your favorite animal endangered? possibly actually. how old is your best friend?  26. if there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? hell no, i’d kill it first. what color is your cell phone? black. do you take vitamins daily?  no. what’s one thing you hate about your best friend? he’s never on time. be honest: do you illegally download music? no, i just use apple music now. what’s the worst crime someone can commit? rape and murder. you’re painting your room. what color do you choose? turquoise. what dog breed is the cutest ever? corgi. are cherries delicious? no. have you ever experienced a tornado? nope. how about a flood? yes but i was overseas. i just stayed in. do you or have you ever owned a pair of light up shoes? sure, as a kid. what is a current goal you’re trying to achieve? get out of my job now. is there something that you thought you would’ve outgrown/gotten over by now, but haven’t? nope. how often do you “draw a blank” mentally? a lot nowadays. i need to read again or do something to get my brain working lol. have you ever played the sims?   yes. is your current hair color your natural hair color?   yes. can you run a mile in under 7 minutes?   no lol. do you have your license?   yes. have you ever sleep walked?   no. where was your first job?   at a new age crystal store haha. it was cool. do you remember your second grade teacher’s name?   mrs. la scala. what do you like on your sundaes?   bananas, walnuts, caramel syrup. have you been blessed with the ability to cook and/or bake?   i have the ability, i’m just not the best.

have you gained more than 5 lbs within the past year?   yes.

do you want kids at some point?   i do. are you lactose intolerant?   yes. do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage?   personal choice. for me personally, no. what is your sexual orientation?     heterosexual. have you ever bought clothing online?   yes, i prefer it. do you think shakespeare is difficult to read?   at times, yes. do you play solitaire in the computer?   no, i don’t have it. have you ever received nude pictures from someone?   yes. admit it: you had a neopets account.   yuuuup. is there a pet in the room with you right now?   no. how weight conscious are you?   very. is there anyone else with you right now?   nope. have you ever been accused of cheating?   nope. have you ever taken a train?   yes. is being thin really all that great?   who knows. have you ever been to a night club?   yes. does any accent annoy you?   not really. someone’s voice can annoy me more than an accent. what’s worse: crocs or uggs?   crocs lol. but they’re comfy as hell. do you feel awkward when a stranger sits next to you?   only if there’s other seats available lol. do you have any taylor swift songs on your ipod?   no. do you want your tongue or belly button pierced?   no. do you hate it when people smoke around you?   sometimes. what is your blood-type?   no idea. are you donating your organs?   idk how to choose that? do you sleep on your side, stomach or back?   stomach. have you ever been a fan of ‘n sync?   no. i liked bsb more. do you know anyone that has/had cancer?   yes. were you a big jump roper back in the day?   hell yes. has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you?   no. do you like chinese food?   i have to be in the mood for it, but yes! do long distance relationships work?   they can but it takes the same amount of effort from both parties to make it work. how do you like your eggs?   scrambled. mcdonald’s or burger king?   bk.

[hisakoichiki]

As Long As We’re Together.

-An Alternate Ending for Tag for not OC?

Song for this: Here! or Here for Youtube!

Thank you for reading if ever you have reached this point. I could explain to you that I don’t really necessarily think further of the things I write, and I make errors a lot. Call me out for them, because I truly appreciate criticism especially in my writing.

But all that aside, enjoy the alternate ending!

If somehow I was standing


In your room without my boots


With your spider in my hand


And I look at you


And my skin is red

His name started with the letters she hated when she was just learning how to write. Always trying to write the initial of his first name right by her favorite letter which coincidentally, in accordance to the alphabet. Without knowing that one of their other initials are the same.   He was huffing, choked with liquor and what else he must've eaten along it. He will never figure until he was sober again. Leaning towards the pole that kept twitching. The lights go on, and off, and on, and off, until it was done. His visions doubled, spinning and violent. And as the lights turned off, he sees the eyes of a person that he missed. Or misses.



Yeah arm to arm and thigh to thigh


Even though there's plenty of room


And I look just like an owl


And you think that's just fine


But it doesn't matter, anyway

All around the room were the chattering, with small amount of space he needed to reach for another shot, being hammered down by a fluid that barely gives any benefit to anyone was down to his list. Except when he sat down to finally an unoccupied part of the couch, her face flashed before him. His heart wasn't pounding, or was until their eyes met. "Hold my drink?" "That's surprising, are you drunk?" "No. Just... startled. Want me to drive you home?" "Again with the surprises. Who are you again, uh, Mr. S? And that is for surprising if you didn't get it." Leaving him into total pedestal of emotions. And being sober wasn't so bad at all. Was not.



As long as we're together


I don't see what's wrong with that


(That)

As long as we're together


I don't see what's wrong with that


(That)

"Hello? Hey, yeah I'm trying to find a name here, yeah. Ms. E if you will, is she around?" Was she? Taking all his chances on a phone call and not even reaching out to the social media accounts she has. Not that she manages them and all that, after all, she was above his head. Looking out for the unknown, exploring the wonders that they tackled in the days they thought everything was impossible. Look what have she become, what she became. Phrasing was important. "She's out of the satellite radius as of the moment." "Are you serious?" "Sleeping sir. They follow a specific timezone in the station therefore I sincerely apologize for that. But, I can leave her a message or any contacts that I could send from you sir." He sighs before he hangs up. "Tell her, that I'm proud of her." "That's all sir? Hello? Hello?" 


Well I don't think I'll be bitter

"Hey you must not know yourself very well"


You will be silent


For a few months


But all that shit he said


I don't know what I read He looked out the window and his apartment not far from his workplace, and it was once again the time of the night where he couldn't sleep. Not thinking of what to deprive himself into, he glances at his back to see her sleeping soundly wrapped with the blankets he always cry on.  Holding onto them as they flounder all over the dark pitched room, a mumble stunned. And no matter how bright was the night, he was illuminated by the eyes flickering, eager to see the silhouette of the man he is. He is. Phrasing. "What's wrong? "Nothing's wrong." "I don't know what to do but can I touch you again?" He frowned, but who would see that? But as those brows drew together, so does the tears drop. She moves, moved. Letting go of the grip of the blanket in a cold night as assumed, wrapping around her bare arms without utterance of persistence. Warmth prevailed, and nothing can compare of how she held him without hesitation. Conviction was the word. Surrender was another. Yeah keep that sweatshirt wait outside

We've only ever talked

For what?

Seemed like an hour

But I was so happy

There must be common things

Not to far from the pole were the people shouting their names as if it was their own domain. No one owns the world except the Heavens we all know, or depending on what you believe in. Either, there's still an element that makes you tick when you hear it. No one is ever entitled to anything because as time flies by, we flee to our morale and perspective. Having no power to freewill anymore and finding out what after life was. Of what bearings we have accomplished and how fruitful they may. He was a sinful man, no one has ever not sinned in the eyes of the believer. Even none. That was the entitlement that embarks us to strive for better, and she is one of those people whom portrayed it most in his own eyes. She admits it. And even if she feels as if it's all her horoscope, Myerrs-Brigg personality classification, or whatever puts her in the category of how petty she might be, she knows. By being constantly reminded that she is. That everyday, there will always be something to learn, and that comes from a mistake. And how much everyday did he ever knew his? Not soon enough. As long as we're together

I don't see what's wrong with that

(That)

As long as we're together

I don't see what's wrong with that

(That) This was their 4th year together, and he was excited of how much he waited for the time her deployment will end in the exact date they would celebrate it. Not including the rehabilitation and tests she'll be doing before coming home. He wanted to see her first hand she lands, to know that step by step he has redeemed himself. He has been forgiven many times, but he couldn't brush the thought that day. Coming from the chopper they landed to the site at which the trajectory was estimated to where they will be. Where he'll be able to see those eyes again. Like how they first met in a fast food chain and even if it wasn't the most pleasant sight. He remembers, and would always. Then it all perished in a moment he sees a blazing ball reaches the skyline. All he gasps he could hear were heard, the panic arising from each lines he could hear, and as far as the satellite to the agency was he ran off to it and yanked as the crowd assembled in it. "Do you have contact with her!" "No English." "Translator!" "Sir- we need-" "I NEED TO TALK TO HER." "Sir." "I NEED TO TALK TO HER!" Looking upon the wrecked tin can, astounding smell it was. And one thing that only remained was the record of the last minutes of her life. Of how it meant, and what it meant. And the journal where the last page had the note of their conversations in papers. She said.

"Why do we have to suffer all the time?"

And he said.

"We suffer in order for us to feel alive."

But only in my mind would I begin to think it's true Yeah, only in my mind would I begin to think it's true But only in my mind would I begin to think it's true Yeah, only in my mind would I begin to think it's true.