#and he asks her what she spent it on
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Oh I get so tired of my mom
She blows $300 on microtransactions and I never bring it up with her again, but I get the wrong coffee one fucking time and now every time she brings up how she "needs" more coffee, she always says how we can take a picture so I can get the right one
I'm not a fucking idiot. I know which one she wants, it's not hard to understand since it's the kirkland brand one
All that fucking happened is that I saw a coffee that was even cheaper and I'm like "sweet, save a little money", except not drinking coffee it didn't occur to me that... that instant is even a thing to think about, you know?
So I didn't get instant coffee cause I didn't think about it and just saw a chance to save money
I know, I know, I know, I fucking know which one to get next time. Just fucking drop it. Fucking leave it. Fucking stop bring it up and every single fucking time being like "we can take a picture so you know which one to buy"
It happened fucking once. Once. Drop it
Not to mention fuck you for the fact you need your little treat of coffee, meanwhile I'm going hungry most days, but I'm gonna have to allocate $10 to pick you up fucking treats. Like fuck off. I sacrifice my own pleasures and things I want to try and make shit work, but heaven forbid the over 50 year old baby doesn't get treats
#you know back when they were married one year my dad got a 1k tax return#and he's getting ready to dip into it a little only to find... oh... it's fucking gone#and he asks her what she spent it on#and she just goes 'I don't know'#bust anyone can figure out is she spent literally one thousand dollars on vitamins and supplements#so you can see why I went hungry a lot... pretty much my whole life; cause my mom needed to get her shit#and... and maybe that means you can see why I find what seems like it's minor; to actually be super frustrating
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People are so boring about classic literature sometimes. Like I know it’s cool to be critical of men in books from the 19th century or whatever but it just leads to ripping out all of the nuance in favor of “Uh all of the Brontë men were evil and abusive and that’s all there is to those characters.” Say something interesting. I’m begging you
#yes this is about a class I’m in. what of it#There is a scene in Jane Eyre where Jane approached Rochester to ask him for leave for a few weeks to see her sick aunt#and he protests and makes a fuss out of it and he gives her a bunch of money and then takes it back and gives her less than he owes her#and if you read it in the strictest and least charitable fashion then you could say that Mr Rochester is an evil piece of shit who won’t#let Jane out of his sight and doesn’t give her what she’s due#but if you actually read it in the context of the book it’s so obvious that he’s joking around with her#and she’s ribbing him back in that same scene#because when you start out with the idea the Mr Rochester is an irredeemable monster and therefore everything he does is suspicious#you miss out on the very obvious fact that he and Jane are best friends! Their personalities gel perfectly#which is why they become so infatuated with each other#Saying ‘well Rochester didn’t give her all her money so he’s clearly manipulating and abusing Jane in this scene :(’#is such an awful boring take that ignores what Charlotte spent hundreds of pages doing with these characters!#try having reading comprehension how about that#wuthering heights#jane eyre#the tenant of wildfell hall
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okay but going back to zagreus and melinoë for a second... i think when they meet they're going to have a LOT to work on with each other if they're going to get along. zagreus likes to push boundaries and he doesn't like leaving things unresolved if there's something he can do about it and melinoë is a LOT like hades in so many ways (temperment and sometimes her tone in particular). they're going to get on each others' nerves. they're going to drive each other up the wall. they're going to need time to get to know each other and understand each other and they might not get the chance to during hades 2 (what with mel's task seeming pretty nonstop. i know she's a goddess but girl don't you get tired???).
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#there's a lot that zag can pick up about mel from around the crossroads tbf just by talking to other people#especially hecate odysseus and nemesis#and dora too. although dora would just give zagreus the information he wants for free. without even asking#there are some things i can see them getting along about and they might be really excited at first#but at the same time zag spent a lot of time and effort trying to fix his relationship with hades and hades' relationship with persephone#and the olympians. he pretty much made it so melinoë CAN exist. and he probably feels some sort of responsibility for her#as her big brother and just. that's the way he is about the people he loves too#i think that when he meets melinoë he's going to be. upset#moreso than hades was upset. not only because he didn't get to see her grow up#but also because this is worse than the worst case scenario#to him at least. he would want to protect her but mel is her own person. she's grown and she's learned how to rely on herself#(to the point of it being a detriment lmao)#and she would Not vibe with that at all.#and yeah mel has some of persephone in there as well (she has her kindness and drive to help others) but iirc that's more. recent?#idk hecate had something to say about that i just forgot what she said
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FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.
Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!
#I spent 10 minutes picking her out omfg#not even exaggerating. I was deciding between this one and one of the last 3 unstuffed PKs#altogether there was only 5 of them left in the store including the 2 stuffed displays#the other one I was looking at had a nearly perfect pumpkin eye patch but less pumpkins overall#and their face wasn't as nice plus the ears were a bit wonky for my taste.#tho it was really hard to tell which would be better while they were unstuffed and flat#in the end I chose Latte because right away she looked to have a sweet face. her ears were nice and she had better patch placement#including a couple full patches on her tail#tbh if I'd had the money I might have bought both because the decision was hard#the bear builder actually asked if I was alright while I concentrated on studying each of those damn cats#I apologized and explained wtf was up with me. she was very understanding#I've always had this quirk where sometimes it'll take forever for me to pick between plushies I really want#especially if they're both the same exact plush. because then I gitta focus harder on finding out which has the better personality#you get what I mean?#anyways this has been a thing for me even as a real little kid#I remember spending and hour-hour and a half almost every time when my dad took me to choose my monthly webkinz#“my monthly webkinz” god that makes me sound so privileged. it was the nicest/best thing my dad could afford to get me because we were poor#he wanted to spoil me as all good fathers do but that was the most he could afford and I was always so grateful and still am! but I digress#anyways I took way too long to pick which kitty would become my Latte#but I'm glad I had the opportunity to choose yet alone to actually see pumpkin kitty irl available for purchase#what do you guys think of her?#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#build a bear#BAB#pumpkin kitty
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I think. I think I need Helaena to go see Aegon. I think they have so much tension and hurt and grief and confusion and longing and disgust and at the end of the day, some sad scrap of something that, in certain light, may resemble love, between them.
he is her brother, her husband, the father of her children, of her dead boy-
now here he lay, potentially dying himself.
I need them to look at each other. I need her to do something seemingly mindless. fixing his sheets, taking a cloth and wiping his hands. something that keeps her focus on him, but not on him, not present per say.
they are unable to focus on one another. it hurts. it's foreign. it's not right. they're not sure of how to do it. so she cannot look at him, not in the eye. she cannot sit there and look at him and speak to him. but she can clean his hands. she can fix his sheets. she can exist in his space.
but she's there, and her touch is soothing. he isn't alone.
maybe she speaks, maybe she doesn't. maybe Aegon speaks, maybe he chokes out a fragment of her name, or and "I'm sorry" and she will nod. or maybe he too sits in silence, watching her.
but they're together.
#wishful thinking. but its what *I* need.#I need them to truly interact#and maybe he asks about Jaehaera. maybe he begs for her to not see him like this. how they hated seeing father while he lay rotting and how#he doesn't want Jaehaera to suffer that as well#maybe they begin grieving together. silently. tears falling and chests aching.#just something#they're so integral to ine another but they've barely spent a y time together on screen and I'm starving#I think that this is their moment#Aegon cannot flee her. she cannot flee his fate. she can only stay away so long.#helaena targaryen#helaena the dreamer#hotd helaena#helaena hotd#aegon ii#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#aegon the elder#hotd aegon#hotd
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I need scenes where Daryl explicitly shows that he loves Carol for all of who she is as a human. I know we know it, even though that feeling has been fading since the spin-off and even in parts of season 11. But I reallyyy need at least one scene where Daryl catches Carol doing something distinctly Carol and looks at her for a *prolonged* time with unambiguous love all over his face. And then he actively shows and tells her. Like the scenes where Aaron and Rosita see Carol putting herself through pain to kill the horse to feed Alexandria. I need to know that Daryl sees that in her. And I need to see him radiate intense love in her direction because she fucking needs it.
#i just feel like carol has spent years and years and years being the most selfless and loving human on the planet#and she has no idea how fuck beautiful of a human she is#even though her family love her they also punish her for her flaws and its gross honestly#but you know who never did that#daryl#and you know who now feels like he sometimes does that#you guessed it#and i just feel like shes trapped in this state of daryl being the only person who always loved her unconditionally and just hoping for...#for that version of him to come back again#but shes not asking for it bc she doesnt think she deserves it#but she hopes#and it feels like he isnt there for her#not really#i need her to feel loved again#even when they reunited in france it just felt like she was relieved to have found him but at terminus it was more like joy to realise...#how much he loved her#when does she get to have that again#even the shocked look she gave during “im the one you tell” when she realised he actually WANTS to be there for her i'd like that again#our man daryl just built all of this reassurance that he loves and supports her and then when shes at her most lost he withdraws it#like what the fuck#i just want carol happy so much#or just LOVED i just want her to feel truly loved#bc right now i feel like she feels like people just tolerate her#can anyone honestly tell me they watched tboc and feel like carol feels unwaiveringly loved and supported throughout that series#bc wow#silly me but i think we all deserve more than what she got there#caryl#the book of carol#tboc#carol peletier
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i have been a tommy-is-abby’s-tommy truther from the start idc about “ooh well why wouldn’t she know anyone at the 118” or “oooh why wouldn’t she have mentioned her ex was also a firefighter” idgaf it would be so fucking funny and im manifesting that this is one of the bucktommy hurdles let us all join hands in prayer 🙏🏻
#it’s not even buck’s jealousy that jumps out#he’s upset that tommy ended things while abby’s mom was so sick#and how abby took over a year to get over him#(and a little bit that she took seemingly little time to get over buck)#and then he struggles with the ‘you were lying to her’ bc tommy was never attracted to/in love with her#and therefore we have the josh of it all bc josh explains what being in the closet is like#what being queer before the 2020s was like#bc buck was never closeted! he was stuck behind some coats for all of five minutes!#and allyship is not the same.#but josh is in his forties and has been ‘out’ since childhood#tommy was a gay man in the army during don’t ask don’t tell#like fuck i remember how hard it was ten-fifteen years ago when i came out and that in canada#with federal marriage equality and all that jazz#all this to say there are some things buck — who has never really spent time in the closet — has to work to understand#and i think it would be a really compelling first fight/transition from the honeymoon phase#do you see my vision can anyone hear me
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Taffy: Alright. I did it. I finally got rid of my feelings for ponytail girl….
The Coco Feelings™:
YOU DONT KNOW HOW SPOT ON THAT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! especially early Coco Feelings development, there are periods of time where he doesnt bump into her for a while and hes like 'okay...im okay now. I think it went away'
and then as soon as he sees her again his heart starts doing backflips and in his head hes like 'NO!!! FUCK!!!! I THOUGHT I WAS FREE!!!!'
#taffy having never felt anything other than rage and fear feeling something warm and fluttery#taffy: am i dying?? is the curse getting stronger??#taffy: its that damn cat witch she put some weird spell on me#wastes half his qoms at the merchants storefront trying a bunch of different remedies#fucking love the Bad Guy Falls for Protagonists Best Friend trope we have going on here#also love the ponytail girl nickname#i think it would be very on brand if he spent..???...3 days?? with her while he kidnapped her and never asked what her name was
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b’elanna vs her mother at similar ages, plus some sketches!
#my art#star trek voyager#my very first deanna…. my original obsession. if i ever read as much about betazoids as i do klingons we’re all in grave danger#also wrt the first image b'elanna is. 12 years old and as such is about to go emo mode but not quite yet. the girly girl thing is a front#sometime in winter she'll chop her hair off without permission#what do we think? human girl look to fit into the image her father has while he's still around or after to try and get him back?#miral is also a little bookish like b'elanna but on different subjects.... likes to keep to herself naturally but is also loudmouthed and#got told she shared her opinion too often a lot in university. didn't stop her though she speaks up when she thinks (knows) she's right#what did she study? don't ask me my answer changes with the weather#botany....linguistics.....military strategy.....chemistry....... uhmmmm religious studies. or even better the klingon system doesn't have#starfleet equivalents and she spent ages 15-22 doing apprenticeships for a certain (or multiple) disciplines#anyway.#kessik 2352 b'elanna has trouble sitting still for photos until she gets a little older so all the pics from before 7 are of her father#physically holding her so that she won't wander OR off guard shots or super blurry. theres more videos of that time than anything
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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relatedly today the british coworker i have an only maybe disproportionate grudge against learned which six flags are the six flags and as the rest of my labmates groaned in horror he was like "well... it's part of the history though" and like. listen. i know you haven't lived in the US before. but when the room universally reacts in horror at something they think is racist possibly you should ask any questions you may have about it in "question" rather than "immediate defense of the confederate flag" format
#other grudges i have against this guy is that he is one of the people who was#PRETTY CONDESCENDING about questioning the basic premise of my project during his interview. on a topic he'd never heard of before#because in fact he was failing to conceptualize one of the basic mechanisms by which cell biology operates#then we hired him anyway. which i slightly resent.#and now he's spent the last several months proposing experiments that overlap immensely with another grad student's project#using the extremely difficult method she spent like two years painstakingly developing#without actually talking to her‚ telling her he was doing this‚ paying attention to what she says should and shouldn't work‚#or asking permission to use her unpublished results for his own stuff.#also he and his friend tried to go to the nyc tr/mp rally 'as a bit' to 'experience something very american'#and failed to get in due to overbooking but after he came back explained that actually no one in the line was racist to him! ppl were polit#and there were jews there! and other asians!#and i had to be like. yes. it's actually occurred to the right that token minorities and not reflexively beating the shit out of people the#think are acting as useful stooges is a good move. you're not blowing my mind by revealing my biases are unfounded right now#you just sound like an idiot.
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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writing apollinaire burnthestars backstory is kind of hilarious like what do you mean you’re becoming a teen dad to your own younger brother nobody asked you to do that
#it’s important to stress just how much nobody asked her to do that i cannot express enough how not one single person asked her to do that.#it doesn’t even start from when he was born she spent seven years going ugh why is this annoying kid in MY house and then one day she#woke up and went I Need To Control Every Aspect Of His Life Or Ill Die#and then well. she did that.#apollinairevoice oh no being under my mothers constant cloying attention is ruining his life. he has to be transferred to#MY constant cloying attention. under which he will surely THRIVE 😀👍#you’d say um what does anatole think of all of this maybe he doesn’t need someone constantly monitoring him maybe he should get to decide#how his life goes and she’s stare at you like you’re the single stupidest person alive btw#wip: burn the stars#apollinaire
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making myself laugh looking at how i've drawn nervous subject and realizing i've given him scars from my ocs (zoichik's nose scar, gladiola's autopsy scar). nervous oliv'ovych subject i'd like to award you the highest honor i can bestow.......... scars from my lesbian characters who live strange and unusual lives also
#neigh (blabbers)#both he and gladiola are fine#gladiola's deal is that she can astral project & projected so hard she spent hours getting back to her body and in that time she was found#thought dead - brought to the pathologist - got back to her body while on the table. had to ask to be stitched back up would you kindly#nervous' deal is that they just wanted to see what was inside. mostly normal comes the report. he does not know.#the skull scar i give him fully his though. i don't have any bald OCs actually... chat should i make a bald
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i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.
#two fairly recent examples jump to mind#last year my class did a secret santa#the guy who got my name barely knew me so instead he asked our litterature teacher for tips#i was doing an effort to participate a lot in her classes and discuss stuff and i felt like she was an adult i could really trust#and adult who Gets It#and she picked just. the wrong gift. a classical philosophy essay.#stuff i hate reading. stuff i hate thinking about.#i said thank you to both of them and tried to read it during christmas break still. but i was right. i hated it.#and this year's christmas#recently i tried patching things up with my parents and we are a lot more communicative now#so they've opened up that my demand not to receive any gifts was painful to them#so we had an agreement: we write open-hearted letters to each other on christmas.#and they can gift me something if they'd like but no pressure if they don't find anything they feel would be a good gift#bc i myself opened up about the whole ''inaccurate gift'' thing being one of the reasons i dislike receiving stuff#and guess what. christmas comes. they got me a printed card from an artist whose work we saw at a local art thing earlier that year.#that artist does mainly either plants or nice architecture. stuff i love.#they picked the ONE work of hers that doesn't look like that. some reinterpretation of the great wave of kanagawa#a piece which i dislike with a passion for aesthetic reasons#i had promised i'd be honest if their gift missed the mark but tbh i couldn't. it's just an aesthetic thing it's completely begnin.#it's not like they spent lots or tried to pick something that was USEFUL#so i smiled and the picture is hanging with other stuff in my room#and i thanked them and i can't express how genuinely glad i am we have a better relationship#but man i felt my heart break a little under the tree in that moment#idk#i know it's silly but it makes me feel weird. and cold.#broadcasting my misery#vent
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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