#and he DELIVERS in SPADES

[eirenical]

Cheng Yi's character has just had emergency surgery/been hospitalized for like the third or fourth time in this drama AND he's coughed up blood AND this is the second time he's been IMPALED.

...IN A MODERN DRAMA. And there are still like ten episodes to go.

That's impressive, even for Cheng Yi. 😂

[naturepointstheway]

Am loving how Zurich Misto absolutely does a Munkustance while detecting Old Deut's arrival--and confirmed that he has exactly the same width in his stance as Munk's! He could fit a kitten or two in there easily.

Now my Zurich headcanons are multiplying again.

[cerealmonster15]

aydoose dot png

[flashhwing]

if I ever act like I don’t like Solas please know that it comes from a place of petty “why does he get attention and development and nuance and Anders gets shit.” in reality I like Solas a lot I think he’s an interesting and compelling character

[notmoreflippingelves]

For the pairing ask meme: Jo/Laurie from Little Women (really curious about it!) And Carla/Mateo from EoA (because kinda love your Mateo roasting and takes 😁)

Jo/Laurie (????)

This is hard, because I don't know whether I ship it or not. I do but I don't. I think if I were to guess I'd say overall, I primarily don't except for Winona Ryder!Jo/Christian Bale! Laurie from Little Women (1994). I guess I'm going to go with "no" overall, because honestly as much as I love that adaptation, Christian Bale Laurie is arguably too "cool"/suave compared to book!Laurie (who tbh is more than a bit pathetic sometimes). Like I'm genuinely a little "What are you thinking?" when Winona!Jo turns Bale!Laurie down but I am mostly okay with it in all other incarnations. I do also mostly like Amy/Laurie and Jo/Bhaer as much if not more , so yeah I'm not really cut up about it Jo/Laurie not being endgame.

Why don’t you ship it?

For me, it's largely that there is a sense (more pronounced in some adaptions than others) that Laurie wants to be a March Girl™ (gender-neutral) more than he wants to be Jo's life-partner which is not really the idea ship vibe--even if I can't exactly blame him as I too would do almost anything to be a March Girl. Like sure Jo was his first choice by far and I do believe that his eventual relationship with Amy is genuinely based on more than "settling"--but I also feel relatively sure that he might have hypothetically settled for Beth or Meg under other circumstances. And that's just not a solid start for a relationship, if your s.o. could've hypothetically is always low-key considering your sibling as a backup plan if things go south with you too. (I mean you could say that the same is true of Laurie/Amy, but I do think it's less bad b/c Amy has literally been in love with Laurie since she was 12 and because overall their personalities "mesh" a little better than Jo/Laurie).

I also worry a bit about how Laurie's wealth might hypothetically impact the Jo/Laurie relationship. I do think that he would continue to be supportive of her writing and theatrical dreams, but I can also see him overcompensating/supporting her "too much." Unlike Bhaer, I don't think Laurie is capable of offering her constructive criticism that is necessary for her work to improve. He's too much of an inherent simp who thinks Jo March is already the most amazing human to ever exist (again can't totally blame him for that) to even conceive of the possibility that she has genuine strengths and weaknesses. I can also see him throwing his money and influence around a little in order to get her published/earning favorable reviews. Jo is fiercely independent and so achieving her dreams on her own terms/by her own merit is supremely important to her--arguably more important than her achieving them at all. Laurie interfering in her career even positively/with good intentions would inevitably cause a lot of conflict between them and create some self-doubt of Jo as to whether she really "earned"/"deserves" her success at all.

What would have made you like it?

As I mentioned I do sort of like it even as I also dislike it. I guess I would like it more consistently/wish it was endgame if Laurie was just a wee bit less eager/obsessed/convinced they were "meant to be." Also if we had a stronger sense that Jo herself wanted the romance specifically as opposed to just Laurie staying in her life. Another thing that makes me a little wary about Jo/Laurie is the meta-aspect of knowing that Louisa May Alcott was very adamant about not wanting them together. Her publisher pretty much insisted that Jo needed to find love in Part 2 and so she created Professor Bhaer in order to give Jo an alternate love interest

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

A lot, especially since I don't not ship it even if I don't ship it. Their "meet cute" scene at the ball is one of my favorite scenes in the book and arguably one of my favorite "character introduction scenes" in all of literature. I think that the two of them have great chemistry and a really supportive dynamic. They care deeply about each other and have so much fun together. (You see this as well in the sequels. Even though they're both romantically with other people, they are still go-to confidants and partners-in-mischief for each other).

I also think that narratively Jo/Laurie has to "work" on some level in order to justify the direction that story takes. The first time that you encounter the story, the reader/viewer needs to really like them together and assume that them being endgame is inevitable. It gives Jo's decision to reject his proposal more poignancy and agency. She needs to love him deeply and know that he loves her--even if they can't love each other in the same way--in order to fully be able to choose herself and her goals over him. If he's not an otherwise desirable option, her choice not to choose him isn't a real choice. She needs to be conflicted, tempted even, if her decision to prioritize her own dreams and needs over his and her family's is to hold any real weight.

And Alcott (and most of the adaptions) do a fantastic job of making Jo/Laurie seem plausible/desirable so that the rejected proposal emotionally fulfills its narrative purpose for Jo's character development (and a lesser extent Laurie's and Amy's as well).

Carla/Mateo (I ship it albeit very low-key though Carla probably deserves better)

What made you ship it?

Probably their interactions in late S3 most of all (especially the finale). I think there is clearly attraction and chemistry between them. They seem to have similar, slightly dorky and clumsy personalities that seem like they would mesh well. And shallow , I know, but their character models are also attractive and look good together.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Is it bad if I say that I like how easily Rita!Carla was able to make Mateo look like the biggest fool in all Avalor?

I think there is a lot of potential for the two of them to bond. They're both very family-oriented, and I think there's a lot of potential for them to grow closer as being the only (and a little coddled/spoiled) children of very loving but somewhat smothering single parents (Victor and Rafa)--as well as missing their absent other parents (Ash and Mateo's father).

They are also arguably THE characters (well them, Victor, and Olivia) who are most actively interested in learning magic. (Gabe and Elena express some curiosity but specifically in the context of magic being a tool to protect the kingdom as opposed to something they want to learn just for itself). So it's nice to think of magic being another way that they can grow closer/flirt/have fun together.

I also adore the Delgado father and daughter relationship and enjoy thinking about how Carla/Mateo would impact Victor and his relationship with his daughter. Whether he's supportive (most likely) or hesitant (my personal head canon), it has the potential to be really fun/funny and heartwarming.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Carla/Mateo is one of the only Mateo ships that I can tolerate. Sorry not sorry. It's this and like two non-existent rare pairs . And even then, I don't think I am ever doing more than casually enjoying it, since my Mateo indifference is so strong. (I do really like Carla though and have a few more ships with her).

[cloudcountry]

OH MY GOD. THE MIX UP VALENTINE POST. YOU ATE!!!! could i rq a version with riddle, ace, deuce, octavinelle, and lillia? 🫶🫶

SUMMARY: you get a gift that was meant for the student you like, and the contents spur you to action.

COMMENTS: this is a spin off post of this post!! IM GLAD U LIKED IT ANON i was proud of that one myself ehehe

also the character limit is five so i picked azul from octavinelle

You stare blankly at the box of chocolate in your hands, the gift crammed into your desk haphazardly. At first, you thought it was for you—that’s what anyone would assume, right? Except...the note on top of it is not addressed to you, but rather, the guy you like. It makes you wonder if this is some joke, or if one of his friends wanted you to deliver it for him. You pick at the heart sticker sealing the note shut and peel it open, taking a peak of the contents.

Your eyes wide and your heart lurches in your chest, panic and annoyance roaring like red hot flames as you read what sounds like a genuine confession of love. Someone had their eyes on him? How did you never notice?

Was it weird to get jealous? I mean, he’s not even dating you yet...you don’t even know if he feels the same way. You can’t deny it doesn’t feel good that there’s another student trying to woo him, though. You’ve been so scared up until this point, so nervous about what he might think, but the clock is ticking. You’ve got to tell him before it’s too late.

Riddle sits up even straighter when he sees you approaching him with a heart shaped box and an envelope, his cheeks flushing pink. He clears his throat when you arrive, expression all twisted up as if you’re unhappy about something. Riddle turns to look at you, holding his chin high as he addresses you by name.

“Do you have something to tell me?” he asks, arms crossed over his chest.

“This is a pathetic gift for the Queen of Hearts.” you reply dryly, throwing the gifts on the ground and stomping on them, “Someone thought that would be enough for you, but I won’t stand for it.”

Riddle stares open mouthed at the torn envelope and crushed box of chocolates, but a giant bundle of roses blocks his line of sight.

“This.” you say, a bouquet of roses in one hand and an entire strawberry tart in the other, with the truffles from the box placed in a circle around it in your hands, “Is a far more fitting gift for courting the queen.”

Deuce freezes after he reads the note you gave him with a sour face, cheeks turning pink. He wonders why you look so upset when you just confessed how much you like him—even though the words seem a bit off...

“See, Deuce? I told you you were popular.” you scoff, wrinkling your nose in disgust.

You glare so intensely at the envelope that Deuce feels your anger and jealousy.

“Is this...not from you?” he asks softly, his heart plummeting out of his body. And here he was, getting all delighted and cheesy about it—

“Nah. It’s not.” you say flippantly, “I’m confessing my feelings in a much better way.”

Deuce gasps when you pull out a bouquet of dark blue roses, kneeling at his feet as you take his hand. He swears you see hearts in his eyes as he stares at the flowers and your face, which look up at him with determination he knows all too well.

“Deuce Spade, I want you to be mine.” you declare, and his legs turn to jelly as he babbles out an enthusiastic yes.

“I can’t believe someone who isn't me likes your dumbass.” you smack Ace’s arm as he snickers over the note, an immature gesture if there ever was one.

“Well, if you like this dumbass what does that make you, huh? A stupidass?” he quips, knocking his whole body against you.

You squeal and shove him back, sticking your tongue out at his shocked face as he falls off the bed.

“Really!? This is how you’re confessing your love to me?” Ace huffs, playful as always, “I want a divorce.”

“You idiot, I’m just speaking your language!” you snap back, throwing a pillow at his head, “All you do is tease and yap and jab so I’m giving you a taste of your own medicine!”

“Oh you’re on!” Ace jumps to his feet, pillow in hand.

It’s obvious he likes you back. It always has been. And even if that person hadn’t sent that note, you two still would have known just how much you care for each other, even if it remains (mostly) unsaid.

(You still trampled that note at least ten times during your pillow fight though.)

“Is this some kind of joke?” Azul says blandly, placing the letter down on his desk of his VIP Room, “This obviously isn’t your handwriting, nor is it your style of writing.”

“That’s because it’s not mine.” you say just as blandly, raising an eyebrow as Azul looks over his spectacles at you, “Were you hoping it was?”

“What is the purpose of this visit then? You bring me some random letter with a confession of love...don’t tell me you’re hoping to butter me up.” Azul chuckles, standing up as gracefully as ever, “You should know better than anyone that those tricks do not work on me.”

You stand up as well, arms crossed over your chest as you meet his stare with your own.

“Because, Azul, someone left that note in my desk. It was addressed to you, as you can see, so I bought it for you. What you just read is what encouraged me to take action.” you take a deep breath and summon all of your courage, there truly is no turning back now, “Azul, I am interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. I can assure you I’ve thought this over many times before coming to you with this proposal. If you’re willing, I would love to sit down and have a talk about the terms and conditions of this deal.”

You hold out your hand for a handshake.

Azul’s mouth forms an o shape, and for a second you’d say he looks shocked, but he composes himself quickly as is all too inclined to place his hand in yours.

“Well, well, well!” he beams, voice light and airy with what you can only assume is joy, “Let’s get negotiations underway, shall we?”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have.” Lilia coos, bringing a hand up to his mouth, “Why do you look so sour, sweets?”

“Because it’s not from me. It was stuffed in my desk and addressed to you.” you wrinkle your nose, the envelope clenched in your fist, “I don’t like the idea of someone confessing to you before I could.”

Lilia giggles, still hiding his mouth behind his hand. You stare blankly at him, tapping your foot so hard your ankle starts to cramp up.

“Oh, no need to look so anxious, dear. I’m sure you’re well aware of where my affections lie, yes?” Lilia approaches you, his fingers intertwining with yours as the envelope flutters to the floor, unnoticed and uncared for.

He doesn’t have much time left. He’s loved and he’s lost, he may as well go for what he wants while it’s still here, in front of him.

“That is such an indirect way of confessing.” you groan, squeezing his hand, “I even got you a whole bag of mystery flavored red lollipops...”

“Gifts are best shared, my dear!” Lilia laughs, pulling you over to his bed, “Now, hurry up! I want to see which flavor I get first!”

[solxamber]

⋆˚✿˖ Twisted Wonderland Masterlist I˖✿˚⋆

Masterlist II

Heartslabyul

Trash Novel Chronicles: System vs World - Riddle x reader

You have a guilty pleasure: trashy villainess stories. So when you die a frankly, humiliating death, and end up in one of the worst ones you've had the pleasure of reading, you're in denial. Then the villain system shows up. Well, there goes your second chance at life So what do you do now? Do villainous things and cause as much chaos as you can, of course. And maybe, just maybe, bag the male lead, Riddle Rosehearts while you're at it.

This is Love - Riddle x Reader

3 times he notices your acts of love and realizes it doesn't have to be grand and overdramatic like the movies, it could just be like this– sweet and considerate.

Dragon's Favorite Sacrifice - Trey x Reader

Trey finds himself volunteering to be the human sacrifice to you, an ancient dragon, in place of his siblings. What he didn't expect was to become your housekeeper instead of being eaten.

Cocoa Conspiracy - Trey x reader {Request}

He knew you as his partner, the love of his life, but he didn't realize your real identity: a spy vying for pastry destruction.

Donuts and Dark Arts - Trey x reader

All Trey wanted to do was deliver the bread he was supposed to and be on his merry way. Instead, he stumbles on you... in the middle of a ritual?

Birthday Party - Trey x reader {Request}

Trey is more worried than suspicious when you keep disappearing and acting suspicious. He gets more worried when the rest of heartslabyul join in. (Spoiler alert: he doesn't need to be)

Crisis Averted - Cater x reader

After a royal screw up, Cater is left scrambling trying to fix his mistake before you find out. Best part? You've known what he did from the start and you think it's hilarious.

Moments in Bloom - Cater x reader

Cater’s life is a perfect illusion, curated with smiles and snapshots. But beneath the surface, he wonders—what would it be like to be truly seen? To finally stop pretending and let himself bloom?

Forgiveness - Deuce Spade x reader

When Deuce accidentally breaks an item that you treasured, he's worries that he's broken your trust as well. But there's nothing that can't be fixed with a hug and an apology.

Savanaclaw

Knights and Oaths - Leona x reader

You come from a long line of knights that have served the rulers of the Savannah. But sometimes traditions are meant to change and the second prince is looking like someone worth changing them for.

Trash Novel Chronicles: Love Triangles and Royal Rumbles - Leona x reader

When you get isekai'd as the male lead in the novel where your favorite character, Leona Kingscholar is the second male lead, all that's left to do is rewrite the romance!

Burn Wild - Leona x reader

Always so close, yet so far away. Leona pushes it down—he keeps pushing and pushing, until one day, he lets it break.

Royal Scandal - Ruggie x reader (personal favorite)

You're being forced to marry someone to take the throne you've fought your entire life for. Okay, if that's how it is, you'll make sure to choose the one person here that your dearest parents will disapprove of the most.

Octavinelle

Shark Tanks and Shady Deals - Azul x reader

After narrowly dodging a one-way trip to the sharks, you've hit rock bottom, career-wise. Enter Azul: your friendly (totally-not-shady) talent manager. In a moment of desperation, you sign with him. Wait, he's actually really good at this. Like, too good at this. Maybe the near-shark experience was just the universe’s weird way of setting you up?

Trash Novel Chronicles: Not Another Royal Mess - Azul x Reader

As a proofreader who gets isekai’d into a cringeworthy novel, you decide to take revenge on the heroine and male lead for their awful story. With Azul—who just wanted to sell you a magic rock—pulled into your chaos.

Love Bites - Floyd x reader

You like him quite a bit, you really do but you're really questioning your decisions after some time spent with him ends up sending you to the ER.

Match Made in Madness - Floyd x reader

Soulmates get updates of each other's lives through an overly enthusiastic dream narrator. What's worse is that your soulmate seems to be completely unhinged.

Witch, Please - Floyd x reader

You're the best witch to go to for getting the job done. Your potions? Absolutely foolproof. At least, that's what you thought until a certain Floyd Leech waltzed into your store.

Cakes and Crime - Jade x reader

After a long week of assignments and sleep deprivation, all you wanted to do was satisfy your craving for a specific pastry at your local shady café. What you didn't mean to do was accidentally order a hit on yourself.

Love in Contempt - Jade x reader

When you take your ex, Jade to court over a ceramic octopus, the reason he wants it so badly might be sweeter than you thought.

Scarabia

Recipe for Love - Kalim x reader

You know you can't cook, your cat knows you can't cook, everyone who has seen your lunch box knows you can't cook. So why is Kalim so insistent on eating the monstrosities you conjure?

Rest Assured - Jamil x reader

4 times you see Jamil nearing his breaking point and the 1 time you intervene.

Pomefiore

Trash Novel Chronicles: Please Let Me Live - Vil x reader (personal favourite)

You get isekai'd into the worst novel you've had the misfortune of reading because apparently your life is a cosmic joke. Now all you have to do is not act like the character you've possessed and it'll be fine, you think?

Your fiancé being Vil Schoenheit makes it a little harder to behave like a human being with functional braincells, but hey, atleast he likes you, you think?

Fairytales and Fever Dreams - Vil x Reader

When you decide to beg a fairy for help at your lowest point, you didn't expect that he'd decide to help you— at the cost of you making skincare for him.

Of Seashells and Sweet Nothings - Vil x Reader

You're cursed to love everyone except Vil, and he's cursed to love only you. And yet somewhere along the way, it seems the cursed gene has skipped you.

aka Merman! Vil x reader

Roommate Rumble - Vil x Reader

You and Vil end up as roommates due to administrative error. Unstoppable force (Vil's perfectionism) meets immovable object (your chaos). It ends up working out perfectly.

Date(?) Night - Rook x reader

Rook is convinced that you have feelings for him after your "date". You have no idea what he's talking about, considering that you've never been on a date with him.

Ruler of My Heart - Rook x Reader (personal favorite)

He has always pursued beauty, and he sees everything. But has he ever been seen?

Ignihyde

Coughing up Love - Idia x reader

You don't think much of it when Idia starts acting weird because let's be real, that seems to be his default around you. Wait are those flowers he's coughing up?

Reaper's Guide to Romance- Idia x reader

When reaper Idia Shroud is assigned to collect your soul, he can't help but come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses to spare you.

Trash Novel Chronicles: I Want to Retire - Idia x reader

You write a novel that reads like a dumpster fire and while trying to delete the draft, you accidentally get isekai’d into it. Now, as the villainess you have to get Idia Shroud on your side as well as survive high society. You have your work cut out for you.

Hook, Line and Shy Guy - Idia x reader

Idia loves your shark tail. You think it's adorable.

Diasomnia

Kidnapped(?) - Malleus x reader

You were sick of the taxes imposed by the aristocrats in your already poverty stricken village. Your idea of a solution? Kidnap their young master , and make them reduce taxes as the ransom, of course. Only problem is that you went into the wrong manor and kidnapped the wrong young master.

How Not to Court Your Crush: A Disaster in Six Acts - Malleus Draconia x reader

You're trying to court Malleus so why is he acting so weird? Malleus is trying to court you, so why are you acting so weird?

aka you try fae courtship and malleus tries human courtship, you both fail spectacularly.

Trash Novel Chronicles: Accidentally Falling For a Fae Prince - Malleus x reader

When you get dragged into a novel which ends with the heroine in a polycule with the most annoying men in literature, you decide that you're gonna skip town. ...Only to trip over the fae prince, Malleus Draconia.

How to Tame Your Dragon - Malleus x reader (personal favorite)

Since you and Malleus have gotten into a relationship, you've become a bona-fide dragon soother. But whenever you fumble, the entirety of NRC faces the consequences.

aka the 7 times you cause ecological disasters and the 1 time it works out for you.

Trash Novel Chronicles: I'd Rather Date the Male Lead's Dad - Lilia x reader

When you end up in your best friend's favourite but absurd novel about breaking a fae prince's curse, you didn't expect to get attached to his little family too. Even more unexpected? You fell for the male lead's dad, but hey, it looks like he likes you too.

Others

Frights and Fancies - Skully J. Graves x reader

Doing Halloween prep with Skully! (This is Grim's Night before before Halloween) {written before the full event is out so might end up ooc}

Chasing Fairytales - Neige LeBlanche x Reader

Neige is convinced that you're either allergic to him specifically or he's done something to offend you with the way you're avoiding him. You're just trying not to get blinded by his smile.

Project Love - Rollo Flamme x reader

When your eccentric professor pairs you and Rollo up for a study on attachment types, you didn't realise how much it would change your lives.

Romance Roulette- Rollo Flamme x reader

You, Rollo's self-proclaimed bestfriend, have been trying to set him up with someone for the past few weeks. If all your plans fail, maybe you should do it yourself?

Homecoming - Rollo Flamme x reader

You come home after a long work trip. Rollo is happy to have you back.

Sweet Encounter - Rollo Flamme x reader

You really want the parfait that's exclusive to couples. So you you do what anyone would do, pretend a random stranger in the café is your partner of course.

Escape Route - Rollo Flamme x reader

You're stuck at a party that you frankly don't give a damn about. And Rollo Flamme looks like he would rather do anything else than be here, so you grab him and bounce.

Yours to Keep - Rollo Flamme x reader

Rollo is calm, collected and confident. Jealous? Rollo Flamme? No way! ...unless?

Stolen Kisses - Rollo Flamme x reader

5 times you kiss him and the 1 time he kisses you

Multi Characters

Hanahaki with Overblot Gang

Making Up After an Argument with Overblot Gang + Rollo

Period Simulator with Adeuce + Overblot Gang + Rollo

Requests

Rook Hunt x reader (Shape-shifter! reader)

Malleus Draconia x Reader (24 Plum Blossom User! Reader)

All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige, Chen'ya (Wild cat beastman reader)

Dorm Leaders + Jamil (Colorblind reader)

Idia Shroud x reader (Sentient Otome Game NPC! reader) // Part 2

Azul Ashengrotto x reader (Insecure Mer-form Azul x reader, hurt/comfort)

All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige (White Rabbit! reader)

White Rabbit! Reader overblots

Aftermath of White Rabbit! Reader's Overblot

Epel, Vil x reader (Teaching Epel Capoeira)

Vil, (platonic) Crewel x reader (Fashion disaster reader)

Rest of the characters react to fashion disaster reader

Malleus Draconia x reader(Insecure reader, hurt/comfort, happy ending)

Lilia Vanrouge x reader (NPC! Reader)

Pomefiore x reader (Artist!Admirer! reader)

Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, Pomefiore + Che'nya (Absolem! reader)

Savanaclaw, Scarabia, Ignihyde, Diasomnia + NRC Staff + Neige (Absolem! reader)

Malleus, Vil, Jade with Angel!Reader

Jamil, Rook, Vil, Lilia with cherub! reader

Tweels with a strong reader

Idia x reader (Reader gets turned into a cat)

Jamil, Azul with a super talented reader

Lilia with a reader who behaves like General Lilia

Leona with an unhinged reader

Vil, Malleus with an unhinged reader

All NRC + Staff + Rollo (Reader shapeshifts according to emotion)

7th Overblot Aftermath - All NRC + Staff (Hurt/Comfort)

Rollo Flamme x reader / Part 2

Savanaclaw, Scarabia with a silly but mature reader

Ace, Deuce, Silver with artistic reader

Grim vs Cat (Idia x reader)

Deuce, Riddle, Ace, Epel with Pomefiore! reader

Jade, Jamil, Azul with 'The Cat'! Reader

Vil, Rook Idia with 'The Cat'! Reader

Delinquent Deuce x Delinquent reader

Pomefiore + Jamil with a Maternal! reader

All NRC(-Ortho), Rollo, Neige, Che'nya with M! Incubus! Reader

Trey, Jamil, Platonic Adeuce with Rich! reader

All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige, Najma Viper with Slime! reader

Skully J. Graves with a Huohuo! reader

Overblot gang + Ruggie with a Princess! Reader

Idia, Cater, Rollo comforting recovering reader (Warning: Mentions of SH)

Octavinelle with Shark! Reader

Sam x reader(platonic)

Skully J. Graves x reader (Double Halloween!)

Skully J. Graves x reader (ft. Sally!)

Octavinelle, Diasomnia x Freshwater Stingray! Reader

Main Masterlist

[bamfkeeper]

Choke.

RQ: 'I can't remember if I put this in or not so ignore this if I did, but PLSSSS that Kurt choking drabble w/ his tail that another asker suggested...... I beg of you 💙 I read your work non-stop it's SO good' - @citiirose

Pairing: Kurt Wagner x GN!reader

Warnings: Smut 18+ | Tail play, choking, unprotected sex, slight dirty talk

A/N: Hehe I'm happy to deliver <3 This is a little drabble so it's shorter than a regular fic, but ugh it was fun to do. He'd be so cheeky about this. I know not everyone likes WatXM Kurt, but I like the tail wiggle in the gif sooo. I always choose pics/versions I think match the scenario. BUT you imagine whichever one you want! Unedited ;; WC: 1.3k

Kurt was well aware of your fondness for his tail, and the mischievous German never missed an opportunity to tease you with its gentle spade. He would utilize it in various, tantalizing ways, each designed to heighten your senses and stir your desires in inappropriate situations. He would trace delicate patterns along your sides, sending shivers down your spine.

Or he would allow it to graze ever so lightly between your legs, igniting that dark spark of anticipation within you. And if he was feeling particularly cheeky, he would playfully tap it against your ass, eliciting a soft sound from your lips.

Given his penchant for incorporating his tail into his flirtatious repertoire, it was no surprise when Kurt decided to explore its potential in more intimate settings. The bedroom became a new playground.

He buried himself into you, balls slapping your ass as he thrusted into you. His hips moved in swift, rhythmic motions as his hands firmly grasped your form, his fuzzy chest pressing against the smooth expanse of your bare back. Kurt's lips found their way to your ear, whispering an array of sweet nothings, his voice thick with his distinctive accent and growing increasingly breathy as he exerted himself, his impressive stamina never failed him.

Your body responded instinctively to him, gentle moans escaping your lips and increasing with every thrust he delivered. These sounds of pleasure were effortlessly drawn out by his expert touch, he knew how to play you like an instrument he mastered. Between ragged breaths, you managed to speak, your voice heavy with desire. "Oh, Kurt... you feel so good..." The words tumbled from your lips as your body unconsciously pressed further into his embrace.

He grinned and exposed his fangs, his tail slowly snaking up your body with deliberate, teasing movements. The flexible appendage traced delicate patterns across your skin, your body tried to lean into it as it snaked around you. He gradually encircled your neck, the warm, velveteen texture felt delicious on your heated flesh.

As he applied a gentle pressure, you felt your pulse quicken, the sensation of his tail wrapped around your throat igniting a primal response within you. Your core throbbed with an intensity that surprised even you, each subtle squeeze sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. The light constriction began to affect your senses, creating a heady mix of arousal and lightheadedness that was intoxicating.

The slight restriction of blood flow induced a euphoric buzz, your mind growing pleasantly hazy as your other senses seemed to sharpen in response. Every touch, every breath, every subtle movement became magnified, your nerve endings singing with heightened sensitivity. It was as if Kurt had unlocked a new realm of sensory experience, one that teetered exquisitely on the edge of danger and ecstasy. You played with your senses during sex before, since his body held such a unique texture, but this…was completely new and hot.

A breathy, desperate mewl seemed to come from the very depths of your being, escaping your lips and making his pointed ears prick up. Your body moved of its own accord, pressing back against Kurt with an urgency that surprised even you. The friction between your bodies only served to stoke the flames of your desire higher.

"Kurt..." you gasped, your voice thick with need and raw emotion. "Yes, yes!" The words tumbled from your lips in a frenzied litany, each syllable dripping with unbridled arousal. "Kurt..." you moaned again, your inhibitions crumbling in the face of overwhelming pleasure as you tried to convey your desires without getting lost. "Squeeze harder!" The plea erupted from you, a passionate demand born of pure, unadulterated want. Your voice was usually so controlled, but now it quivered with the intensity of your arousal.

He blinked, his eyes widening in surprise at your passionate reaction to being choked with his tail, exhilaration coursed through him as he processed your unexpected enthusiasm. After a moment of stunned silence, Kurt's lips curved into a devilish grin, his golden eyes gleaming with newfound intrigue.

Chuckling softly, he decided to indulge your apparent desire, carefully tightening his tail ever so slightly around your neck. The pressure increased just enough to be noticeable, but remained far from causing any actual harm or discomfort. The spade slowly squirmed its way past your lips, laying on your tongue as he felt your saliva gather and drool out past your lips. Kurt's voice dropped to a low, husky whisper as he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear.

"Ach, you like this, liebling? Well, well...you are quite the naughty little thing, aren't you? I must admit, I didn't realize you'd derive such pleasure from having mein tail curled around your neck like this..." His words were laced with a mixture of amusement and growing arousal, his hips snapped into you faster, his cock felt like it was throbbing inside you. Precum pooling inside you, coating your inner walls as he edged you to feeling his load to come.

You let out open, unrestrained moans as his spade pressed firmly against your tongue, your mouth remained slightly agape, a mix of pleasure and anticipation evident in your expression. Your hips were driven by intense desire, pressed back eagerly into his with each thrust delivered, seeking more contact, more friction. Meanwhile his tail continued to gently coil around your neck, adding another layer of sensation to the already intense experience.

He expertly manipulated the pressure, applying more force for several tantalizing seconds before loosening his grip, only to repeat the process again and again. This rhythmic pulsing sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, each cycle building upon the last, pushing you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy. You felt your face grow hot when he increased the pressure and lessened the blood flow, it was so damn good.

"Squeeze harder, I can take it, goddamnit…please Kurt, don’t fucking trade me anymore!" you begged, the words tumbled from your lips without thought or hesitation. You found yourself in a state of arousal unlike anything you had experienced before, the intensity of your desire catching you off guard. You couldn't pinpoint the exact source of this overwhelming horniness, nor could you fully comprehend why you were acting so desperate and wanton. Kurt hadn’t really choked you before, besides a light touch to your neck with his hand. Was it really just his tail that was making you feel this way?

All rational thought had been pushed aside, replaced by a singular, all-consuming need. In this moment, all you wanted, all you could focus on, was the burning desire to reach your climax, to feel that sweet release that seemed so close yet frustratingly out of reach.

Your desperate plea was abruptly muffled as his spade-tipped tail pushed deeper into your mouth, effectively silencing your words. You emitted a stifled sound in response; while it didn't obstruct your breathing, it successfully prevented you from articulating further demands.

"Such a vulgar tongue..." Kurt growled, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck. His voice dropped to a menacing whisper as he nipped at your earlobe with his razor-sharp teeth. "Perhaps I need to teach you in the art of proper etiquette, liebe?" The term of endearment contrasted sharply with the dark promise in his tone. "Your release will come only when you've mastered the skill of asking politely...without that filthy language."

His prehensile tail constricted further around your neck, the pressure intensifying to an almost unbearable degree. The sensation was overwhelming, causing your eyes to roll back in your head as waves of pleasure coursed through your body. Your sex throbbed and twitched, desperate and threatening to cum just from the feeling of his tail choking you. Kurt maintained his relentless rhythm, each powerful thrust driving his cock as deep as it could go and guiding you closer to the edge of ecstasy while denying you the final push you so desperately craved.

“Now…let’s see how long you last.”

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight

[almostfoxglove]

HOLD STILL

written for @punkshort's AU August Challenge

RATING: Explicit (18+) PAIRING: Bodyguard!Dave York x f!Reader WORD COUNT: 3.4k CW: Dave's filthy mouth, pwp, smut (cockwarming, unprotected piv, creampie, sorta soft-dom!dave but really he's just bossy, sorta praise kink, a couple pussy pronouns don’t look at me), and one nonsense tense switch just for the hell of it I guess.

SUMMARY: On your last night together, Dave agrees to compromise.

read on ao3 | almostfoxglove masterlist

You want him, but he won’t fuck you. Not once, not even quickly, not even with just his hands. Dave York—ever stoic, unflinching—insists on doing his job and his job alone. And you, as he so enjoys reiterating, are not his job. Protecting you is. 

For three weeks you’ve smothered the calendar hung on the kitchen wall with another red X each morning, whittling the days until you give your polished testimony and say goodbye to him for good. Now the court date looms heavy on the horizon—it’ll rise tomorrow with the sun. 

In the meantime—these last, dwindling hours—you roam the grand rooms of an apartment rented for your protection, your anonymity, at the very skirt of the city where you’d surely have lost your mind if not for him. Stationed diligently at your side, hand never more than a twitch from the grip of his gun. So many hours spent alone you've memorized his form: how he looks scanning the curtained windows for any whisper of danger. How he's never complained when you choose cheesy reality shows from the TV guide. Teaching you how to play Spades with a deck of cards soft and worn—from his home, maybe, though you never ask—and letting you win the first hand, lips quirked when you call him out on it, then unapologetically wiping the floor with you for the rest of your isolation. 

Yes, you know him, though only in image. Broad and sturdy, shirts each neatly ironed and squarely tucked. The hard line of his jaw and the fullness of his bottom lip. His hair always swept neatly from his face, even when you know he’s recently woken up. Never scruffy, never stubbled. Clean shaven and the smell of nice hotel shampoo.

It’s wrong, how you try to prod him to no avail. No matter your efforts, he says nothing of the way you adorn your body: lacy slips and satin sets at night, hugging silhouettes during the day, hair always done, lipstick never out of place even though you can’t leave the apartment or stand too near the windows. Dave is the only one who sees you, save for the days or hours when he leaves you his clumsy understudy to step down from his post.

He must know you do it for him.

It’s wrong, but you asked once, early on. Tonight? 

And Dave’s mouth pinched into a flat, polite line. Unreadable, his face drained of its emotion. His declination drawled deep and heady, a voice that curled your toes and more than once kept you panting alone in your bed that’s not yours at all, just two doors away from his, fingers needy and swirling. No, honey. Not tonight.

Repeated in your mind until it warped like an overplayed tape.

No, honey.

Honey.

Honey.

Not tonight.

Tonight.

Tonight, he is gone—your last together before the trial—leaving you in the hollow apartment with his proxy, stung. Same dark clothes, same holstered gun, same little piece nestled in his ear, but not half of what you want. You want Dave: a man as solid as he is driven, immutable as he is tempting. Assigned to protect you until you deliver the account that’ll send a monster away.

Perhaps you’ve liked the game—how he watches you, but never gives in—but now it’s lost its shimmer.

Lights dimmed for the evening, all black curtains drawn, the vaulted ceilings of the kitchen feel miles high as you perch on a barstool at the breakfast counter to stare at the calendar taunting you across the quiet room. Beyond the pristine halls you’ve lapped all day like an anxious dog, the city serenades you. Traffic squealing through streets, sirens singing in the distance, the occasional shout of someone walking by outside, eight floors below. 

You are not, at night, permitted to part the curtains, lest someone get a glimpse of your illuminated face, but you long to open one now, see if Dave is out there, returning to your little castle turret one final time. Because it’s possible he won’t come back at all—that his coworker will escort you between lobby and truck, between truck and courthouse, between courthouse and whatever comes next. Maybe home. That you’ll never see Dave again, let alone throw caution to the wind and ask once more, tonight?

And then, just then, as your stomach begins to sink with disappointment, you hear the sudden crack of the front door unlocking and the creak of its surrender. You’ve conjured him, somehow, past the stroke of midnight. Then low, rumbled whispers, the unmistakable tone of Dave’s voice mumbling to his understudy. Your heart speeds as the door closes again and his stand-in retreats into the hall. How dizzying, the sound of locks settling into their rightful places, turned by Dave’s unerring hands. 

When he appears in the dining room behind you, bomber jacket hanging from one arm, he tucks a tiny apology into the twitch of his lips—or maybe it’s meant to be a smile. “It’s late,” he says, as your eyes drink him in. Polished as ever, despite the hour, not a stitch out of place. “Should be in bed.”

You shrug, hoping you might appear indifferent. “Couldn’t sleep,” you say, aware of how the satin of your robe slopes off your shoulder with no intention of righting it.

Does something darken in his face then, or do you imagine it? You can’t be sure, not in this umbra, at this time of night. Jaw ticking, Dave strides cautiously toward the dining table, drapes his jacket over the back of one glossy chair, and sinks into the seat at the head of the sleek table, same as usual. A quiet kind of reign, his claiming this position, always, for every meal. He scratches his cheek, slips the gun from the holster at his belt to rest on the table, and as he leans back you indulge yourself—how can you not—in the slight buck of his hips as he shifts to stretch out his legs. 

“Need your rest,” Dave chides softly. No edge to his tone.

Sighing before you can stop yourself, disappointed all over again as his gaze draws off you to the windows and drapes. On duty, still. On duty, always. Not you. Not tonight. “S’the last night,” you reply, staring at the calendar again. One little red X to go. “You weren’t here.”

Behind you, his deep and measured breath. The shiver of that unflappable restraint, you hope, but you don’t yet dare to look back. He might spook.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

You don’t budge. Don’t move.

“You hear me?” Voice a little harder now, solidifying. When he speaks to you, you always look him in the eye—or you always have before.

Electric, your heart. Revving just a breath faster, just a hair harder, at the sound of him huffing in frustration. Your lips tick up in one corner, hidden, a secret meant only for you. When Dave says your name, your whole body purrs and you at last turn your head enough to let him glimpse your profile, still withholding your gaze.

“Pouting,” he scolds, this time meaning it. “That what this is?”

“Avoiding me,” you counter. “That where you were?”

Dave hmphs, darkness fading and softness returning to his tone. “Course not, honey.”

You look at him now, properly. Barstool spinning as you push off the counter to face him. Under the dusk of dimmed pendant lights over the dining table, Dave glows. In the time you’ve looked away, he’s unbuttoned his shirt one button lower than it’d been when he walked in.

One button lower than you’ve ever seen him wear before.

“Said I’m sorry,” he says again, head tilted. His foot comes out to nudge the leg of the chair beside his, angling it in your direction. “Come here.”

He means for you to sit, maybe play a hand of Spades, but as you slink off the barstool you have no intention of taking the seat. Warmth flushing in your chest, cool, conditioned air greeting your bare legs and collarbones, all the skin not covered by your sleekest sleep set. You swear he drinks the sight of you, for once, as you cross the kitchen toward him. Eyes dark not only from shadows, from the time. Or else you hope, as you come to a stop between Dave’s knees, that the way he’s not yet blinked means what you want it to.

Lips parting, a breath from speaking when you beat him to the punch and ask, “Tonight?” Your chin lowered and eyes searching his. It’s the last night. Might as well show your hand while you still can, before he slinks back into the underbelly of a city where you know he’s lived for years but you’ve never once glimpsed him, and not just because it’s busy.

Because invisible is what he’s paid to be, what he’s good at. Unseen until the fist of him is needed, the gun.

Pink striping his bottom lip, a swipe of his tongue, eyes boring into you. The slightest shake of his head, clean-shaven cheeks sharked in the shadow and golden light. “Honey.” Not a no, honey. Not a not tonight. Just honey, like you’ve imagined.

Emboldened, you caress of your fingertips across his shoulder, tracing the seam of his crisp, pale blue dress shirt. So handsome, always so handsome. A man who takes care of himself, who tidies and cleans without your needing to ask. Spotless, always. Reserved, always. Killing you, always, with every brush of his gaze. 

You draw your fingers towards his shirt collar.

“Can’t,” says Dave, softer still. Breathy, almost. You pet the knife-cut of his pressed collar, the button just below it, and his Adam’s apple bobs slowly in his throat. Again, he shakes his head so slightly it looks more like a twitch. A reflex to say no. Not a desire to. “Can’t fuck you, honey. Wouldn’t be right.”

You bite your lip, brows drawing together, not lifting your hand from the button placket of his shirt. “Just tonight,” you breathe, and bat your eyes a little.

At last Dave’s dark eyes drop from yours, scanning the length of you above him with searing precision. Consideration. You slant your head to one side as his gaze slides back up, hesitating on your silk-draped chest, and you suck a sharper breath before it returns to meet yours. He cuffs your wrist with his hand to halt your teasing as he shakes his head once more, licking his bottom lip again with greater meaning. A glint in his eyes, lust finally flaring. 

Pride swirls in your stomach, honeyed and wanting. Then he tugs you by the hips with such reflexes you hardly register the movement of his hands before you’re on him, straddling him in the chair, your thighs framing his hips. Held. Your robe fanning behind you, over his knees. Heart pounding dangerously close to a cardiac event.

Dave tsks softly, smirking when you whimper, trying to roll your hips over the heat of his crotch. Those careful, deadly hands lock them in a vice as he clicks his tongue. “Not gonna fuck you,” he murmurs, and you lean in to kiss him but he pulls his head away. “Not gonna kiss you either. Not right.”

You don’t care about right. Now you pout for real, forehead wrinkling, staring at his upturned lips. You feel the unmistakable twitch of him growing hard against you and your cunt throbs in reply, needy and slick. You try to wiggle again but Dave pinches your hips in warning. “Look at me,” he repeats, that edge to his voice that curls your toes, and your eyes snap to his.

“Good girl.”

You moan quietly, made liquid by the tender swipe of his thumb over the satin of your sleep shorts. Your eyes fluttering at such a tiny stroke, not even the meeting of skin. 

“You can’t move, okay? Only allowed to sit.” When you don’t answer, too lost to the throb of his cock against your begging core, Dave pinches you again, voice gravelly in a way you’ve not heard before. “You hear me?”

Nodding, you hum. Can’t quite get out the word. 

“Need to hear you, honey. Gonna hold still for me?”

“Mhm,” you whine, fighting your every instinct to grind down against him as you meet his lust-blown eyes. “Yes. Only allowed to sit.”

Dave puffs a hot breath out that sends a wake of goosebumps across your chest. “Good girl,” he coos, and your brows pinch at the praise. “Soaking me already, honey. Can’t sleep like this, can you? Just need to turn your brain off, hm?” The movement of his hips below yours is so slight you might imagine it, that tiny grind as his cock grows. You nod, whine softly, and both his thumbs stroke your hips gently before stilling again.

“Show me, honey.” So quiet. So little air between you, and yet too much.

You scan his face until he offers a small nod. Those brown eyes hooded by dark lashes, devouring you without need for the press of his mouth. It’d be soft, you’re certain. The caress of his lips. Maybe the rest of him is hard and deadly, but those would be tender, careful—they’d take you apart, breath by breath. With the same precision with which he darts between shadows and cleans his gun and beats you at cards and tucks your hair behind your ear when you’re falling asleep on the couch, he’d dissolve you kiss by kiss with a kind of grace.

It’s his lips on which you pin your gaze as you let one hand drift between your legs, dipping easily between silk and skin—your body made jelly so quickly and by so little contact, already wet. You pray you don’t imagine the sharpness of his breath when your knuckles accidentally graze against his slacks as you slip your fingers between dewy folds. Then: your hand rising in the dim light, shining, honeyed. Dave watching them, the corner of his mouth cracking just a little. Tensing into his cheek.

He grunts, good girl, and then he’s lifting you just enough to peel down the zip of his slacks, flick open the button, but when your eyes fall hopeful for a glimpse of him he tsks, hooks one finger beneath your chin to tilt your face up, whispers a soft eyes on me, honey as he pulls himself out where you can’t see.

As his knuckles brush against the wet gusset of your shorts, nudging them to the side. Finding no panties to move.

As the head of his cock—plush, warm, weeping—nudges against the ache of you, the thrum of your longing.

He grins, wicked.

Then pressure, a moan lost to the air you’re hardly conscious of and the stretch of him, the slow press in and the ache of your cunt swallowing his girth inch by inch. You whimper, eyelids shuddering like old film, catching only still frames of Dave’s expression as he lowers you gently, burying himself in your drooling heat until you come to rest at his base, flush and full.

So full. Light-headed, sparkling. Your hips must rock because he squeezes your waist. “Hold still, honey,” he coos. “Remember?”

The terms of his touch sounded alright just a breath ago, but now you can’t imagine how you ever agreed. How you’re supposed to stay still with him throbbing inside you like this, heavy and sweet, exactly what you need. A flicker in his eyes like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you, how he’s scrubbing out every thought in your head. Cocky, yes. But earning it.

“Dave,” you sigh, breathy and desperate. Your cunt clenching and squeezing and pushing out slick, probably ruining his slacks but he won’t let you look down, just tilts your head up gently every time it hangs slack. “Please.”

His breathing catches for a beat, then it’s steady again. “I know, I know,” he murmurs, keeping his finger under your chin to keep your eyes on him—but he hardly needs to. You’d swear the whole world drained away the second he slid into you. There’s nothing else past your bodies, past this one dining room chair. Everything else disappears like magic. The trial, the dread, the drone of city noise. The slow leak of your heart knowing this is goodbye—all of it. Gone.

You’d have sworn it impossible to come like this, with no movement at all, but you will. You do. And months from now—safe in the swaddle of your actual apartment that for weeks has stood hollow and dusty, plants withering sadly on their windowsills—you’ll lie in bed longing, missing, remembering. Trying to recreate the swipe of his thick thumb on your clit as you replay this moment in your head. How you whined, wanna take care of you when Dave still wouldn’t let you move, even when you were close, just swiped and swiped his thumb until you were something more than alive, transcending.

How his pupils had set ablaze with your whispered plea. How you’d realized that was the point, for him. The begging and the not giving in.

How he’d growled, “Taking care of you is taking care of me. You don’t think I’m gonna come the second this pussy strangles my cock? ‘Cause I am. S’all I need, honey, just give it to me—”

His voice the thunder to your body’s crackle and lightning.

“Let her take care of me, that’a girl, that’s it, just like that honey, she’s so tight—fuck—so fuckin’ tight around me, just squeezin’ me, gonna come when you do, pretty girl, let me have it.”

How it hit you like a white bolt of heat and light, every cell in you tense and flaming, then melting, boneless on his lap as he murmured sweetly, grunted, tried to lift you off him just in time and you’d finally, finally touched him—lucid in an instant, hands slammed down on the muscle of his shoulders. Mumbling amidst your aftershocks, inside, inside, inside. Eyelids stuttering again, back to picture frames as your cunt seized and begged in tandem.

The snarl of his upper lip.

His knotted jaw.

Tongue sucked against his front teeth, resolve crumbling.

The allowance granted to your hands to stay right there, fisting his shirt collar as his locked your waist in a bruising vice. His hips bucking only once, grinding the head of his cock deeper, deliciously, almost too good to take. 

“Fuck, fuckfuck—yeah, that what she needs, honey? Needs me to fill her up?”

You’ll remember your own reply as you near a second-rate heaven in the nest of your duvet at home, all frantic hands and thrusting digits and eyes slammed shut, repainting him in your head. Golden in that gloomy light, hair straying out of position across his misted forehead for the first time. Yes. Please. Dave. Yes. Inside. Please—and his grunt, dark and sweet as caramel, as burnt brown sugar. That tiny grin dragging at his soft lips, pleased. You’d pleased him, surprised him maybe. 

That can make you sparkle now, to remember.

“Okay, honey. Okay—shit—gonna give it to you, hm? Gonna give you all of it, baby—she’s squeezing me so goddamn tight, fuck, wanna stay here all night—”

Then the granting of a wish, the heat of him spilling into your cunt, the unmistakable slide of slick leaking between your thighs and onto his; you didn’t have to look to know. You could feel it, that wholeness overflowing. You can almost feel it now; three fingers might be a poor attempt at recreation, but you fall off the cliff all the same, his name on your tongue, a cry in the night, all the curtains dark and drawn as you come down breathless and drowsy, your whole body limp and spent as it’d been that night with him—when he’d tucked himself away and petted your hair back from your face, so gentle with you, cooing that you did so good, honey. Such a good girl. Gonna get you into bed now, hm? Need your sleep, honey. Come on. 

Carrying you into your not-real bedroom, tucking you in so tenderly, like he hadn’t just taken you apart at the molecules. And Dave’s lips were just as plush as you’d imagined when they grazed your forehead, his big hand petting your cheek once more, then turning out the lights. That deep timbre whispering from the doorway, goodnight. The door clicking shut. All of it perfect. How you’d known you mattered more than a job for just one moment in time.

dividers by @saradika-graphics - tag list & some mutuals <3

@ak-vintage @thethirstwivesclub @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @hediondoamor-blog @harriedandharassed 

@burntheedges @la-eterna-enamorada29 @goodgirlwannabe @guiltyasdave @for-a-longlongtime

@littlemisspascal @luxurychristmaspudding @tonysopranosrobe @evolnoomym @sweetpascal 

@spacelatinos4life @sweetpascal @biggetywitch @wannab-urs @jolapeno 

@pedgito @pastelpinkflowerlife @jessthebaker @rav3n-pascal22 @sixhours 

@noisynightmarepoetry @clawdee

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Can I request something about after like they graduate? Like they invite MC to move in? No way Crowley letting is own Ramshackle

Anything related after they graduate? For Deuce, Jack, Silver and Sebek.

Deuce Spade:

Deuce is sweating bullets, shifting on his feet which alerted you to him having something important to say. He delivered the question as confidently as possible, not wanting you to think his nerves acting up had anything to do with the how much he wanted to live together. He wanted this more than anything but he braced himself for either kind of response, knowing you might think it was moving too quick.

Jack Howl:

Jack knew his philosophy on love was a unique one, unique enough that the courting process had been over a year long before you were officially labeled a couple, but he had to be sure you were the one. That’s why he doesn’t hesitate to pose the question to you once you’ve both graduated, since the concept of being apart now that you were adults didn’t sit right with him. He would feel a little hurt if you were to decline but would ultimately accept it, as he did realize you grew up differently than him.

Sebek Zigvolt:

Sebek won’t be asking you to move in right away, most likely not even until you’re properly engaged, and he has a home for you both to be in. He also needed to gather his own parents' blessing, and Malleus’, before he proposed. A lot is going on behind the scenes that you’re not even aware of, as Sebek gets plenty of council before he strikes. He wants to know he can provide for you before you’re settled in together, and he gets emotional thinking about how close that future is.

Silver:

Silver had no planning, the thought popped into his pretty little head and he simply asked. He thought it sounded nice to live together, to make a cozy little haven to call your own, and he grows more attached to the ideas the longer you talk about it. He looks at you with hopeful eyes, patiently waiting for your opinion and hoping your feelings mirrored his own.

[mintsuwu]

Took a lil break from the asks in order to cook some ✨SMILING CRITTERS FAMILY TIME✨ with @rexmk0153universe-blog because why the hell not??? I might have to divide it in two parts though-

(1/2)

DogDay

DogDay's journey begins when a stork delivers him to the wrong family of wolves, leading him to be adopted by Big Bad's parents. However, his presence triggers jealousy in Big Bad, his adopted older brother, who resents the attention their parents give to the newcomer.

Despite the pack's focus on abilities related to weather phenomena, Dogday stands out due to his unique qualities and talents. As he grows older, he feels a deep longing for a sense of purpose and identity beyond his wolf upbringing. Seeking to find his true self, he leaves the pack and ventures to Jolly Valley, where he encounters the Smiling Critters and forms close bonds with them. Over time, Dogday becomes a leader among the Smiling Critters, embodying their values of friendship and unity.

Big Bad, driven by pride and a mix of emotions, followed Dogday to Jolly Valley, intending to both antagonize his little brother and secretly monitor his progress. Despite his outward bravado and mischievous nature causing ocassional trouble, Dogday remains welcoming towards his older brother, except when his antics go too far. Hus unwavering cheerfulness and open-heartedness serve as a beacon of hope for both the Smiling Critters and his troubled older brother.

BONUS: "Big Bad" is actually a nickname! His actual name is "WindWolf"... Dogday usually calls him "Big Bro", but the rest of the critters "misheard" it and began calling him "Big Bad", much to his dismay.

CatNap

Catnap shares a unique connection with a deity known as SandMan, who reigns over the Dream Realm, a distinct reality separate from the main universe. The origin of Catnap traces back to a moment when Dogday, as a young member of his pack, made a wish upon a shooting star for a friend, and this wish brought Catnap into existence.

SandMan took particular interest in Catnap due to his remarkable qualities, leading to a special father-son dynamic between them, despite Catnap starting off as just another creation of SandMan like many others.

Catnap, however, felt a strong pull to leave the Dream Realm in search of Dogday, the source of his creation. Eventually, the feline succeeded in finding Dogday and chose to remain by his side, along with the other Smiling Critters. Despite Catnap's origin in the Dream Realm and his connection to SandMan, his loyalty lies with Dogday and their companions, forging a lasting bond beyond the confines of the Dream Realm.

Kickin'Chicken

Kickin'Chicken comes from a predominantly female family, consisting of his mother, sisters, and himself as the middle sibling. His father, known as "Rockin'Rooster," is a famous singer, an example that Kickin' aspires to follow. However, Rockin'Rooster's focus on his career leaves little time for family, causing conflicting emotions for Kickin'. Despite his admiration for his father's success, Kickin' yearns for more attention and connection within the family... Yet he hides it under his "cool and tough guy" persona.

However, among his family members Kickin' has a strong bond with his older sister, Pecky. She is level-headed compared to Kickin', but shares his adventurous spirit and openness to new experiences and people.

BONUS: Kickin's family is quite fond of Bubba Bubbaphant, given how he was Kickin's first friend and all of them consider him another member of the family.

CraftyCorn

Craftycorn, born in a magical kingdom governed by four elemental monarchs (Clubs, Diamonds, Hearts and Spades) was raised as the daughter of the Queen of Spades, destined to become a warrior. However, Crafty harbored a distaste for violence, finding joy in art and nature instead.

Despite her mother's attempts to grant her freedom to choose her path within the elemental realms, the other rulers disapproved, doubting Crafty's suitability for the throne. When Craftycorn was to receive her royal Merry Charm, symbolizing her assigned role, she unexpectedly manifested her own charm—the flower. Fearing disappointment from her mother and influenced by the other monarchs, Craftycorn fled her home, unaware of the devastation her departure caused her mother.

Their relationship is complicated, marked by love and care, yet tinged with Crafty's mixed feelings towards her mother.

LoolaLamb

Loola is a special sheep born into a flock known as the "Sleep Sheep" or "Slumbering Guardians." These sheep have the unique role of wandering through villages, signaling to people that it's time to sleep and seek safety from the dangers of the night. Once their task is complete, SandMan, a mystical entity who the sheep "worship" due to its previous helps toward the flock, can traverse their realm to ensure everyone enjoys peaceful dreams and restful sleep.

She's the daughter of the flock's leader, tasked with protecting the sheep, particularly during the day when they're less vigilant due to needing rest after their nightly duties. However, Loola lost her mother at a young age and was raised by her father, who prepared her to take on a similar role in the future.

Despite her upbringing, Loola yearns for adventure and exploration beyond the confines of her flock's duties. After much persuasion, her father allows her to leave, although they maintain communication through letters.

The lamb often travels alone, but occasionally spends time with the Smiling Critters in Jolly Valley for extended periods of time.

[puck-luck]

15 of spades w/ Jack Hughes where they’re simply just roommates that like to flirt and this time it goes beyond a few flirty words and gestures

Warnings: unprotected p in v, pining Jack, soft & sweet, roommates to lovers WC: 1,406

You like to say that your life has become a New Girl situation. After a messy break-up, you moved in with your (now) friend, Jack. He’s cute and charming, way too into sports, and he’s got a great job as a bartender in downtown Newark. Your shared apartment is in North Kearny, so it’s an easy drive anywhere. The rent isn’t crazy. Plus, with all of his downtown connections, Jack can get you into any bar or club or party.

You were wary at first about living with a boy, but Jack is neat and king. He always does his dishes and his laundry, always cleans up after himself, and he often offers to make dinner for you since you work all day and his shifts are usually at night.

You like Jack. You think he’s a really good friend, but you can’t deny that you find him attractive. There’s something about his monotone voice and sarcastic smile, paired with his brown hair and his pretty blue eyes. He employs casual physical touch, delivering dinner to you with a hand on your shoulder– since he won’t dream of letting you stand and serve yourself. He’s a gentleman, after all, something he reminds you of whenever you try to help Jack with something he said he could do for you. Usually, he’ll steer you back towards the couch or towards the dining table, pushing you down and telling you to stay there “or else.” It’s an empty threat, because Jack would never do anything to actually harm you. He wouldn’t hurt a fly (he would, however, try and chase it out the front door with a rolled up magazine because the buzzing was annoying him). His behavior does nothing to drive away the butterflies in your stomach that are breaking out of their cocoons. You’re falling for Jack.

You think he’s falling for you, too. He’s a lot harder to read, but he always wants to hang out with you. He wants to watch movies with you and try and teach you how to play his favorite games, always inviting you out with him and his friends or trying to merge your friend group with his own. He’s had one success: one of your friends has been loosely “seeing” his friend Alex when their schedules align. They’re not labeling it, but they’re spending more and more time together. 

Your friends swear Jack wants to integrate the groups so that he can see you even after you move out. You only signed a year-long lease, so you’ve been trying to decide what to do. You could stay with Jack, who is very sweet and very perfect, or you could live alone. The downfall of living with Jack is that you share a bathroom with him. The other downfall is that he doesn’t work set hours and you feel… well, awkward when you try to invite someone to spend the night and Jack gets off work early. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, and you’re not committed to Jack, but you don’t want him seeing another guy in your bed. You feel a little bit like you’re betraying him, but mostly you just want to be a courteous roommate. It was his apartment first.

Things are coming to a head. It’s been weeks since you’ve gotten laid and you’re getting antsy. Jack was supposed to have a shift tonight, so you had invited one of your Hinge matches over, not expecting your roommate to be back until about 2 or 3 in the morning. That would give you plenty of time to fuck this guy and send him on his way. 

Jack comes home at 11:30. The other bartender needed to make rent tonight, so he offered to switch cuts and close for Jack. Jack made rent last weekend after working a Saturday double– you’d had a girl’s night that night, so your one good chance to fuck a man was lost– so he accepted and returned home.

You’re pissed. You texted your hookup and told him that your roommate came home early and you’d have to reschedule, knowing that he’ll probably end up ghosting you since this is the second time you’ve deflected a meetup. You could just go to his place, but you really don’t want to be trapped in another person’s apartment. You like to kick them out. You don’t like to be the one getting kicked out.

You’re sat on the couch with Jack, who’s talking about his night. He’s talking over your TV show, which is arguably the worst season of the show to be released, but it’s new and you want to pay attention. You can’t while Jack’s yapping. Your responses have gotten shorter and shorter, and your arms are crossed over your chest, and your side-eyes are becoming more and more like a glare. 

Jack finally notices.

“What’s up?” He says. “You seem mad.”

You sigh and pause your show, deciding to be frank with your roommate. You turn to him. “I need you to work a full closing shift one of these days, buddy.”

Jack makes a face. “Why?” He asks. He shakes his head slightly, squinting at you. “You don’t wanna hang out with me?”

“I need to get fucked.”

Jack’s jaw drops at the suddenness of your words.

“And I don’t want to have sex with someone else while you’re in this apartment,” you continue without pause. “So I was supposed to have a guy over while you worked tonight, but I had to cancel because you came home.”

Jack blinks at you, speechless.

“So, yeah, I’m a little mad, Jack.” You stand from the couch. “But it’s whatever. I’m going to go to bed.” You leave him in the living room.

You get all the way to your bedroom door before Jack scrambles after you.

“I could make you feel better,” he offers, his cheeks growing red with a blush. 

Now it’s your turn to be taken aback. “What?”

“I could make you feel better,” Jack repeats. “I’ll fuck you.”

You rub your eyes like you’re waking up from a dream. “What?”

Jack comes closer to you, reaching out to touch your hip. “I want to fuck you. I didn’t think we’d ever– well, that doesn’t matter. I’ll fuck you. I want to fuck you.”

That’s how you fell into bed with Jack. You’re surprised it didn’t happen sooner with the way Jack is bearing his soul to you– how pretty he thought you were the first time he saw you, how he’s wanted to touch you for so long and he can barely hold back sometimes, how much he likes doing things for you because he feels like your boyfriend. He tells you how he’ll prove to you that he’s worth more than just a fuck when you’re frustrated at him, but for now, he wants to show you what he’s been dreaming about.

His fingers bring you to one orgasm. His mouth, lapping at your first release, brings you to a second.

Then his cock. It’s straining in your palm once you’re finally able to get your hand on him, guiding him through your folds. 

Jack’s eyes are hooded and dark like he’s drunk on lust. He moves at your pace, allowing your cunt to draw him in slowly. He inches forward, savoring it, and it’s then that Jack leans down to kiss you for the first time. His lips are soft against yours, insistent in a way that portrays his desire for you. 

“Wanted to do this for so long,” Jack whispers into your mouth. “You have no idea.”

“Fuck me,” you reply, voice soft and imploring. 

Jack starts to move his hips, his head dipping so that his forehead touches yours. After a few minutes, he’s panting and making soft noises of pleasure. His eyelashes are fluttering, but it seems like he doesn’t want to close his eyes completely and lose you. He’s holding back, sounding like he’s close to coming.

You roll your hips up against him. “C’mon, Jack,” you say. “Want you to come.”

He shudders, seconds away from letting go. Your fingernails against his scalp are his undoing, making his eyes roll back and his inhibitions to disappear. He’s finally got what he wanted– his cock inside of you, filling you up. He sleeps in your bed that night.

And every night after.

You renew your lease the following week.

[hisui-dreamer]

Character: Riddle Rosehearts, Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Cater Diamond, Trey Clover, Leona Kingscholar, Jack Howl, Ruggie Bucchi, Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech, Floyd Leech, Kalim Al-Asim, Jamil Viper, Vil Schoenheit, Epel Felmier, Rook Hunt, Idia Shroud, Silver, Sebek Zigvolt, Lilia Vanrouge, Malleus Draconia

pick one of your favs from above when reading!

Masterlist

thinking about being a victorian woman and your husband has been away for weeks due to work. he's written you letters daily and delivering them with pigeons so he can still hear about your day and vice versa, but you can't help but feel frustrated that you haven't had your good morning and goodnight kisses, heard his soft voice mumble into your ear, felt his warm and loving embraces you think you're losing your mind with how much you're missing him and staring at the entrance of the anor from your window for hours on end, and maybe you should just write a letter and demand the man retur-

is... is that his carriage?? is he home??

the next thing you know, you're rushing through the halls of your home, breezing past your lady-in-waiting who's come to announce your beloved's arrival. by the time you reach the stairwell, he's just step foot into the mansion, his eyes automatically locking on to yours. he seems tired, a bit skinnier than you last saw him, but his smile is nonetheless as enchanting as usual.

you don't hear him say the word, but you know it just from his lips.

"Love..."

and just like that, you're lifting your skirts to glide down the stairs, decorum be damned, and your patience runs out and you leap directly into his arms.

he stumbles slightly, but he catches you. he always does. and he's home and he's finally back at your side.

you start whining and mumbling into his shoulder about how cruel he is to leave his darling beloved wife behind for work, and how he's an awful husband for neglecting you.

and he rubs soothing circles into you back, murmuring sweet apologies and promises to make up for lost time and shower you with all the affection in his heart for his dearest other half.

and maybe you'll find it in your heart to forgive him.

[rosehxnt]

the stars in your eyes

characters: deuce spade, leona kingscholar, jade leech, jamil viper, silver summary: noticing the small details that make your boyfriend him warnings: mention of leona's scar, swordfighting, otherwise just fluff

Deuce Spade  He'd been nervously shifting in his seat for the better part of ten minutes, every now and then glancing at you just to see you staring at him.  "Do I have something on my face?" He finally asked.  "Yeah, handsomeness."  His face became flushed. "Thank you...but it's like you're staring right into my soul," Deuce nervously giggled.  "It's like I'm staring into the endless ocean." You held your gaze. "But it's even better because it's you and you're right here with me."  He tried to stare back at you for a few seconds, but failed, quickly turning away and finding something to distract himself with. You let out a light laugh as the eye contact ended, enamored by his reaction.

Leona Kingscholar  His chest rose and fell as you observed him. He was once again fast asleep in the botanical gardens, sun cascading across his face.  Absentmindedly, you reached out to slowly trace the scar going over his left eye.  "Herbivore." You had woken him up and he was now staring up at you, his cat-like pupils thinning to slits to accommodate for the midday sun. "What do you think you're doing?"  "I think..." You gaze into Leona's eyes, fingertips sitting still on his cheekbone. "I think I want you to look at me like that forever."  You swore you saw his pupils grow in size, but he'd deny it if you said anything. A small smile appeared on your face.  "I think I want to nap," he replied and, much to your chagrin, closed his eyes to resume his slumber. In your mind, you replayed the image of him looking at you, those emeralds he held easily rivaling even the most expensive jewelry one could buy.

Jade Leech  It was always a joy to see Jade practice his passion. That passion being taking care of his endless mushroom collection. The happiness showing in his eyes was always worth it to you, and you made sure to take in every bit of it.  Except he always noticed your staring. Although, this time he decided to say something about it.  "Why do you look at me with such intensity, my dear?" His casually delivered question threw you off, causing you to find sudden interest in the floor.  "Oh, um, I like it when you're happy, it makes me happy."  "I'm glad you're happy, then," he commented and went back to work making sure each individual terrarium was in ideal condition.  "Your eyes are also super pretty," you found yourself saying. "I love how one is like the sun and the other is like the earth. It's almost like you're my entire world."  It was his turn to deliver a shocked expression, not expecting you to turn the situation into an opportunity to flirt with him.

Jamil Viper  You were content to sit on the sidelines while Jamil prepared that evening's meal. He insisted you not do any of the work, and you questioned if he was looking out for you or the state of the meal. His answer was ambiguous.  So here you were, watching as he moved about the kitchen. His long hair swept over one shoulder, his hands working to expertly chop up the various vegetables, and his eyes flitting to each ingredient as he threw them in the large pot that was to feed the entire Scarabia dorm.  Those eyes, the ones that reminded you of the charcoal used to light fires, similar to the fire you felt for Jamil himself. He'd lit one in your heart through the way he'd always help you when you were getting behind in class or were feeling under the weather. His observant eyes that kept watch for you and worked hard to keep you out of trouble were just one of his many charms.

Silver  You'd been invited to watch Silver and Sebek spar, which you'd looked forward to for days. Both them and Lilia had worked to make sure you'd be safe just in case any blades went flying. This ended up with you sitting on a wooden bench behind a metal fence. Lilia was in the corner watching the two boys the entire time just in case, since they tended to get competitive.  Though your sight was slightly limited, it didn't stop you from watching Silver's expression as he expertly defended Sebek's attacks and launched some of his own. He was focused on the battle and his eyes, which reminded you of the translucent lavender tinted marbles you'd play with as a kid, tracked every movement and flash of metal.  It was hard to remind yourself he was still just a human in that moment. A human who had trained among fae to become a fierce enough soldier to protect their crown prince. A human who would look at you so kindly after the sparring had ended, offering his hand to help you up from where you sat, awestruck.

a/n: i was just thinking about a specific someone's eyes and thought i'd do this m.list & rules

© rosehxnt

[ashtavula]

Royalty AU Pt 2: A Meeting With Riddle

Housewardens x Gender Neutral Reader

Word Count: 2466

Start Here

The warm spring air caresses your face as you walk down the bustling main street. It’s been two days since your impromptu date with Azul, and your mind is filled with the information he told you. You’d started with Riddle Rosehearts. Between the forms his mother had filled out about his hobbies and academic successes, and the rumors your staff had told you, Azul wasn’t able to provide a lot of new information. But Azul had pointed you towards the Four Leaf Bakery. Supposedly, it’s one of the best bakeries in the city, though you wonder how well it’ll stack up to the sweets you eat at the castle.

A breeze blows, and it carries the faint scent of freshly baked bread towards you. Your mouth waters, and the heels of your shoes click against the cobblestones as you speed up. You can see the sign for the bakery in the distance. Unfortunately, your eagerness leads to you stepping out into the street.

“Look out!”

A man with a cart suddenly runs into you, knocking you both down. You groan as you slowly sit up. A man with messy ginger hair rubs the back of his head, and he scowls at you. “Hey! Why don’t you pay attention to where you’re walking, huh?! You knocked me over!”

You return his scowl. Seriously, this is the second man you’ve met with zero regard for your royal status. As you open your mouth to retort, a second young man rushes up. This one has sleek blue hair, and a worried expression on his face. “Ace! Are you okay?” He turns to you. “I’m so sorry about that, m-” 

His eyes grow impossibly wide, and he immediately kneels down in front of you. “Your Highness! Are you hurt?” He turns back to Ace. “Seriously? You hit Their Highness!”

Ace shrugs. “So what? They ran out in front of me. It’s their fault, Juice.”

The blue haired man glowers at Ace, and scrambles to his feet. He knocks Ace upside the head. “It’s Deuce! And you should apologize!”

Deuce drags Ace to his feet, only to force him into a bow. His voice gets a rough edge to it. “Say you’re sorry!”

Ace winces, and bats at Deuce. “Okay, okay! Geez, lighten up!” Ace sighs, and dips into a lazy bow. “Sorry, Your Highness. But you totally ran in front of-” Another smack from Deuce makes Ace grumble. “Sorry! It won’t happen again.”

Deuce sighs, and looks back to you. His angry expression fades, replaced with worry as he offers you a hand. “Here, Your Highness. Can I help you up?”

You accept his offer, and allow Deuce to pull you to your feet. He’s lean, but you’re surprised by how strong he is. “Thank you…Deuce?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, my name’s Deuce Spade. This is my partner, Ace Trappola. We’re delivery boys for White Rabbit Postal Service.”

As you look back to Ace, you can see him making sure the deliveries piled into his hand drawn cart are fine. The cart bears a logo of a harried white rabbit holding a stack of boxes. You’ve seen the logo before. The company occasionally makes deliveries to the castle. When you say as much, you see Deuce puff up with pride. 

“Yeah! We deliver all over the capital! My mom is actually the one in charge of the main office.”

Ace groans. “Dude, stop talking about your mom. We’ve got deliveries to make, and I don’t want to get yelled at.”

Deuce jumps a bit, and blushes. “Sorry! Got to go deliver all this to the bakery!”

As Deuce moves to pick up the handles of the cart, you tilt your head. “Wait, are you going to the Four Leaf Bakery? Because that’s where I was going.”

Deuce grins, and he says that you can follow them, if you want. Ace rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything as the three of you resume your journey. You almost immediately regret it, because it’s difficult to keep up with Deuce’s near breakneck pace. You’re panting by the time you reach the bakery. 

Ace and Deuce drag the cart to the back door, and they knock. A tall man with dark green hair and glasses answers, and he sighs at both of them. “Not to fuss, but you’re late.”

“Hey, don’t blame us. Blame the royal who decided to slow us down,” Ace gripes. 

The man turns his attention to you. His eyes widen slightly before he gives you an affable smile, and he bows his head. “Apologies, Your Highness. I didn’t see you there.” He steps aside, and waves his hand. “Why don’t you come inside? I’ve got a few things that I think you’ll enjoy. As for you two, you know what to do.”

You nod, and follow the man inside. Immediately, the scent of freshly baked pastries and tea fills your nose. As you take a deep breath, the man wipes his hands on his apron. “My name is Trey Clover, by the way. I’m the head patissier here.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Though, I came here to ask you about Lord Riddle-”

You’re interrupted by a flash of orange approaching you at the speed of light. As his face swings into view, you recognize the man. 

“Hello, Your Highness! Fancy meeting you here! Cater Diamond, with the Ramshackle Gazette. Care to answer a few questions for me?” He grins at you, only to get pulled back by Trey. 

Trey shakes his head disapprovingly. “Cater, no. No pictures, no interviews, no nothing. They’re a guest here. Let them be, yeah?”

Cater slips out of Trey’s grip, and holds up his hands in a placating gesture. “Okay, okay! It’s cool, we’re all friends here! Right, Your Highness?”

As Trey and Cater both look at you, you hear yet another voice behind you. “Trey? Cater? What’s going on back here?”

You turn, and your eyes meet his. His gray eyes widen, and he stiffens. He quickly bows to you, sending strands of his crimson hair flying forward. “Your Highness! Lord Riddle Rosehearts, son of Marquess and Marchioness Rosehearts, at your service.” Riddle straightens up, though he’s still stiff. His ears are red, and it makes you think that you might have flustered the young lord. His gaze turns to Cater, and his brows furrow. “Cater, are you pestering them?”

There’s a steely edge to his voice. You’re not the only one who hears it. Cater immediately holds his hands up again. “Not at all, Riddle! I was just introducing myself! Right, Your Highness? I wasn’t bothering you?”

Cater's green eyes are wide, and you can practically hear him silently begging you to back him up. You nod slowly. “That’s right. He was just introducing himself. I’ve actually been wanting to meet him. I love his articles in the paper.”

You can see Cater’s shoulders sag with relief, even as he chuckles and shoots you a lighthearted grin. “Aw, thanks a bunch! It’s good to know that even the royal family reads my work.”

Riddle sighs. “Very well. Trey, could you please set things up, like we discussed?” Trey nods, and quickly vanishes through a door. As it swings shut, you see a brief glimpse of the bakery’s kitchen. Riddle then addresses you. “Your Highness, I’d be delighted if you would join me for tea. I can assure you that everything Trey makes is phenomenal.” He holds out his hand for you.

You accept it, and Riddle leads you back outside. He guides you to a small courtyard outside of the bakery. The courtyard is filled with rose bushes, and you can see that a table has been set up in the middle of it all. You catch a brief glimpse of Trey heading back inside as Riddle pulls your chair out for you. The table is laid out with a strawberry tart and tea. Riddle neatly cuts a piece, and serves it to you. You quietly thank him as he also pours you a cup of tea. He even makes sure that the sugar and cream are closer to you than him. He’s being a perfect gentleman. Though, you can see how hard he’s concentrating on being a good host.

You take a bite of the tart, and you nearly moan. It’s absolutely perfect. Riddle smiles as he sees your reaction. “I told you that everything Trey makes is wonderful. This just happens to be one of my favorites.”

“I can see why. Wonder how much I’d have to pay him to come work at my castle.”

That earns a chuckle from Riddle. He then clears his throat. “Your Highness…please allow me to be frank.” He gently takes hold of your hand again. “I am aware that my mother has put my name forward as a suitor. However, I would prefer for us to get to know each other naturally. So please, disregard everything for just a little while, and think of me not as a suitor, but as a gentleman who simply wishes to get to know you better.”

You consider his words for just a moment. In just a few words, Riddle has managed to actually put you at ease. Your lips curve into a smile. “I can do that, Lord Riddle.”

His smile mirrors your own, and you can see some of the tension leave his body. The two of you sit in the bakery’s courtyard for some time, embroiled in your discussion. You learn that Riddle is academically talented, and has a fine pedigree. He’s also well-spoken, and very polite. Everything that you learn makes him sound pretty much perfect. You even find him cute. But as you talk, your mind keeps straying back to the rumors that your butler told you about how strict he was. But so far, you’ve seen very little of that supposed strictness. Well, unless you count what happened with Cater earlier, but that wasn’t too bad.

You're pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of two men yelling. Ace and Deuce are on top of the stone wall that surrounds the courtyard, and they tumble right into a rose bush. They yelp as they’re pricked by the thorns, and they struggle to free themselves from the flower bed. You stand, and you look towards Riddle. But your words die on your tongue when you see his face.

His expression is twisted with anger. He lurches to his feet, and he storms over to Ace and Deuce. “What are you fools doing,” he yells. “You’re disrupting our tea party, trespassing, and ruining private property! Explain yourselves immediately!”

Ace and Deuce flinch as they finally manage to free themselves from the thorny rose bush, only to come face to face with Riddle’s fury. You hear Ace attempting to explain that he and Deuce were trying to chase down an injured hedgehog, but that it slipped into the courtyard. Clearly, it’s not a good enough excuse for Riddle. 

“A hedgehog…You interrupted us…FOR A HEDGEHOG?!”

You’re startled by the way Riddle shrieks at Ace and Deuce. His face is now an unbecoming shade of scarlet, and he stomps his foot like a petulant child. Seeing his apparent anger issues is suddenly making all of his good points seem trivial. You don’t want to draw Riddle’s ire, but you also can’t stand to see him continue to berate them. You raise your voice so that you can be heard over him. “Lord Riddle! Thank you for your time, but I’m afraid that we’re not compatible. I don’t appreciate men who get so worked up over such trivial nonsense!”

You turn to leave the courtyard, nearly missing the way that Riddle’s face goes from red to white. He quickly moves to follow you, his voice now edged in desperation instead of rage. “Your Highness, wait! Please, forgive me for being so unbecoming! It’s just…there are rules that must be followed, and etiquette that must be observed! Those two were in clear violation of such standards!” 

You wheel around to face him. “Does it really matter? Sure, they messed up, but it’s not a big deal!”

The muscles in Riddle’s jaw tense. “My mother raised me to follow the rules of noble society. From the moment I was born, she set out to raise me to be a perfect heir. And then you were born. Then, it wasn’t just about me becoming the next marquess.” Riddle steps closer to you. “At that moment, she began to raise me with the expectation of being a perfect husband for you. I have spent countless hours locked away in my home learning everything I could so that I could be your consort. I was not allowed anything that she didn’t approve of. Not even friends, for the fear that they would ruin what values my mother instilled in me.” Another step. “I was raised to be yours, so why? Why am I not good enough?”

As he speaks, you can see tears starting to form. His voice cracks, and it tugs on your heartstrings. You now feel conflicted. On paper, Riddle is just about everything you could want in a prince consort. But this afternoon has also shown you that he’s far from perfect. Yet, you can’t shake the urge to reassure him.

In the end, you slowly reach out, and you grasp his hand. It takes you a few moments to find the words you want to say, and they come out with some slight hesitation. “Lord Riddle…Despite what I’ve just seen, you…are still a candidate.” You squeeze his hand. ���I want to learn more about you. I want you to prove to me that I don’t have to worry about your temper. Thus, I’ll give you one more chance to prove yourself worthy of my consideration. But this is goodbye for now.”

You let go of his hand, and you leave the courtyard. Ace and Deuce quickly slip out with you, as they’re eager to get away from Riddle. As soon as you’re all far enough away from the garden, Ace sighs. “Man, I didn’t think he’d get all fired up like that. We didn’t even do anything!”

Deuce grimaces. “Well, we did mess up Trey’s garden. We’ll have to come by tomorrow to see if we can help fix the roses.”

You pause, and look at them. “That sounds like a great idea, but…why are you two following me?”

Both boys startle, and neither of them is able to give you a proper answer. Ace grabs Deuce, and they both take off down the street with a hurried goodbye. You shake your head at them, and continue your journey back to your castle. 

[indigoire]

I'm just now realizing that both Knives Out and Glass Onion have two halves; at the halfway point the truth is revealed, the lie is pulled apart to reveal what really happened, and then deception takes place on the part of the wronged party. Benoit doesn't solve the cases in these movies, he doesn't even put the killer behind bars in Glass Onion, he is simply a vehicle for the plot. We the audience follow him, as the real protagonists of these movies, Marta and Helen, these smart, undervalued, wronged women, slip under the radar and do the real crime solving. It's genius. We're all so focused on the flashy white guy with the strong accent and the famous name, who can let himself into any environment and see through everyone's lies and motives, that we pay no attention to the real heroes of these movies until all is revealed. Around the halfway point the real protagonists step forward, and however much Blanc may guide them, they're the real investigators and they're the ones who come out triumphant.

Knives Out and Glass Onion are remarkably similar once you break them down like this, and as someone who basically just wanted the sequel to be more of the same, Rian Johnson delivered in spades.

Also both movies said "fuck rich people" with their whole chests and I fucking respect that.