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I Saw the TV Glow is such a uniquely, devastatingly queer story. Two queer kids trapped in suburbia. Both of them sensing something isn’t quite right with their lives. Both of them knowing that wrongness could kill them. One of them getting out, trying on new names, new places, new ways of being. Trying to claw her way to fully understanding herself, trying to grasp the true reality of her existence. Succeeding. Going back to help the other, to try so desperately to rescue an old friend, to show the path forward. Being called crazy. Because, to someone who hasn’t gotten out, even trying seems crazy. Feels crazy. Looks, on the surface, like dying.
And to have that other queer kid be so terrified of the internal revolution that is accepting himself that he inadvertently stays buried. Stays in a situation that will suffocate him. Choke the life out of him. Choke the joy out of him. Have him so terrified of possibly being crazy that he, instead, lives with a repression so extreme, it quite literally is killing him. And still, still, he apologizes for it. Apologizes over and over and over, to people who don’t see him. Who never have. Who never will. Because it’s better than being crazy. Because it’s safer than digging his way out. Killing the image everyone sees to rise again as something free and true and authentic. My god. My god, this movie. It shattered me.
#i saw the tv glow#I saw the tv glow spoilers#it is SUCH a queer story#the disassociation. the hiding in fiction to feel alive.#the horror of watching time tick by and knowing you’re not who you’re meant to be#the unique paralysis of staying put in hell because it’s safer than what might be over the horizon#the tragedy of trying to help someone who isn’t ready to be helped#god it’s so much. god. rarely do I walk out of a film and just stare soundlessly into space#anyway. please see this movie. although I sort of hope if you’re reading this post it’s cuz you already have#eta: I used he because the main character never quite vocalizes another pronoun#but this is SUCH a trans story. suuuuch a trans story. it is not even a little subtle#it’s so good and so so painful
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ppl are too quick to point to laios' disability as the reason his friends think he's a freak sometimes. so many instances of laios getting yelled at are, in my eyes, a case of "this guy had to emotionally mature very early in order to be there for his little sister" combined with "much older friends who never had to learn to manage their own emotions to the same degree"
a lot of the time he's right about needing to be more direct/deal with things in a way that may seem scary/needing to put your gut reaction aside. he tries not to make his friends uncomfortable and he puts up with a lot because he's trying to keep the peace, but he also pushes the others out of their comfort zones purposefully to try to get them to think more constructively. everyone else in the party is prone to acting on their gut instincts and avoiding uncomfortable situations even when facing them head-on is very much necessary. part of what makes laios such a great leader is the fact that he knows from experience how to put his own feelings aside to help someone else grow.
yes, he does make a lot of social blunders by accident and he does struggle to connect with others, but not all of his positive influence on others is accidental or "despite" making people uncomfortable. a lot of the time, I think it's clear he knows exactly what he's doing and he's trying to help the people around him process emotions in a healthy way as they all go through some truly harrowing shit. all the main characters support each other as well as they can with their unique emotional skillsets. laios' skillset just happens to be "gently talk child into eating her vegetables"
#deerchatter#dungeon meshi#laios touden#of course this IS also connected to his disability. bc having an iron grip on your own emotional reaction is often needed to survive#in an ableist society. and he wouldn't have had to parent falin so much if the two of them hadn't been ostracized growing up#but the point of the post is that laios is a lot more emotionally intelligent than his party (or many fans) realizes#he's not just stumbling ass-first into being helpful he is clearly applying a skillset that is direly lacking in his friends#marcille and chilchuck in particular haaaaate uncomfy situations and are under the impression that if smth Feels bad then it Is bad.#and senshi avoids so many situations and feelings because of his trauma that he's been unable to grow past it on his own#this post was particularly inspired by the griffin meat scene. everyone else suggests senshi just avoid his trauma forever#and they're absolutely shocked when laios suggests senshi try to grow and overcome his pain bc. That Sounds Scary. lol#so many of the story's themes revolve around overcoming your own impulses and biases#and laios is uniquely suited to leading that change.#r.i.p. laios/toshiro friendship you guys have so much more in common than you realize
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I've had a beast of a cold for the last few days, but I wanted to get this out before the new year! while I've sort of made my peace with my first take on Lilia's UM poster, I really wanted to do a version with the new context that chapter 6 gave us. because. c'mon.
(don't worry, Lilia can carry ALL HIS KIDS AT ONCE)
#art#twisted wonderland#unique magic posters#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#the dragon cradle does make me laugh#no look i understand it's a ~visual metaphor~ for malleus' isolation#(and also lets lilia run up a bunch of steps all dramatically later)#but the image of this enormous ten-story cradle with the teeny tiny little egg in the middle of it is pretty hilarious#the draconias are SO extra about everything#now if you'll excuse me i have to go fall over for what remains of the year#happy 2024!#(i apologize to the poor person who asked a cute question about meleanor and got a giant cold medicine-induced essay in response :')#(i have been incapable of coherent thought for...a while now)
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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hi i love how rose is like 14-15 years old and idealistic and hopeful and makes stuffed animals on etsy and loves her mom and tries her best to be a good ally to the murderous alien, i love that she is a trans character so fiercely adored by her family and friends that even despite adversity she sees the best in people and the world. yeah maybe some of the girl power stuff felt a little tacky but goddamn i think a break in the cynicism is nice actually. rtd’s writing has always been steeped in loneliness and tragedy, but also in hope for the underdogs. i’m so excited to see what this new creative team does next :)
#dw spoilers#doctor who spoilers#doctor who#dw#also i love how rose being a character with the unique quality of having named herself bc she is trans#helped to flavor the story and her connection to it#rose tyler would love her
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Once again thinking about the ATLA post series (not in continuity with the comics) fanfic I'll never write that follows Azula going to work in Iroh's tea shop in Ba Sing Se and her ensuing struggle with psychosis and realizing she was in the wrong and is just as much the victim of an abusive parent as Zuko was.
In this story Iroh tries to help her and at first she HATES it. She hates his kindness, she hates the sadness on his face when he sees her struggling, she hates all of it. At one point she snaps at Iroh to stop pitying her and he says, "Don't you know the difference between compassion and pity?" And she snaps back that they're the same thing and he replies, "You're wrong, Azula. Pity is simply feeling sad for someone's circumstances. Compassion is the desire for their circumstances to get better." And it hits her like a ton of bricks that this man, unlike her father, wants what's best for her. He's only ever treated her with kindness and she's disrespected him and called him weak for it and it's the most actual love she's ever received from a father figure in her fifteen years of life. And she wants nothing more than to cry in his arms but she can't yet because she doesn't know how to show weakness in front of anyone because of what her father did to her.
I see a post floating around sometimes where someone said that as a child, Azula is the scariest character, but as an adult, she's the saddest and I agree. She was 15. She deserves a redemption arc.
#maybe someday I'll write it#I know the struggle of having a cruel parent teach you to be cruel#and having to realize that your own cruelty is hurting you and you need to learn to be better#and struggling with psychosis while this realization is happening#I think I'm uniquely suited to tell this story but I don't have enough to start writing yet#atla#avatar the last airbender#azula
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Mourning Cloak is a normal mech that nothing bad could happen to "If you roll the same number on all three dice, you disappear until your group rests, at which point you reappear nearby."
WHERE DID THEY GO
#lancer#lancer rpg#lancer ttrpg#making mechs is a joy#could spend hours on compcon#i have moments were my little story breaks pretty far from the lancer universe#but then the mechs are just- lancer mechs expect for a few Real Unique ones that are like- you meet One somewhat early and the rest...#rn only move if like a Bad Ending happens#which i have drawn cuz its Pretty but- death
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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Little PSA
#no#seriously#its none of my business what kind of art other people make#and I am not going to hunt you for sport or harass or police or block you for whatever you like to do#this goes for tcest#proship stuff#whatever other labels you guys have??#I dont know them all but seriously. I dont care#long as you guys tag your stuff properly and dont interpret my stuff as something it is not then by all means enjoy yourself#and kudos to you for being brave enough to share your individual and unique stories#if you unfollow me and slap a label on me or whatever after this post#by all means go for it#but then can you return back to twitter please?#anyways enjoy the fma meme redraw
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( @radvercity )
COMING IN AT 8TH PLACE, we have SAGE!!! i have nothing against sage i just have never interacted with him literally ever and know close to nothing other than the fact that he’s slightly more mentally stable than raymon, he’s a band kid, and he broke into someone’s house. all pretty green flags but alas…..
IN 7TH WE HAVE…. ELIJAH!!! i think he’s neat. he’s married or was married. i think he dies. honestly i like him a lot. he seems neat and pretty cool. and like he’d probably make really good tea for some reason idk. maybe it’s also the fact that (if i remember right) he’s a decent father to celo and i think that kid really needs it….
FOR 6TH PLACE, WE’VE GOT THE KID IN QUESTION!!! CELO!!!!! i fucking NEED this kid to be okay. i will start ugly sobbing. they are so squishy and also strange and i love him very very very much. need to save him. he gets the world.
AY… WE’RE INTO THE TOP FIVE NOW…. WHO WILL WIN??? WHO WILL TAKE HOME THE PRIZE OF A BLUEBERRY FLAVORED HONEY STICK????? WHO IS THE ULTIMATE FAVORITE!??!??!!??!
find out after a quick break from our sponsors!
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WELCOME BACK! NOW, BACK TO THE RANKINGS!!! WE’RE IN THE TOP FIVE NOW!!!!
UP FOR 5TH PLACE IS NONE OTHER THAN YOUR LOCAL ELDRITCH GOD, JOCE!!! honestly they fought celo for this spot and won because everyone knows if i have an affinity for anything it’s fucked up gods (and mad scientists but that’s not on topic). like joce i understand u……. i get it….. it’d be awesome if you left my scrungles alone but at the same time like…. i get it. also very pretty eyes!!! i love it when i stare into the abyss and it stares back!!!!! thank you for giving these guys issues!!!!! i love you /p!!!!!!
IN 4TH, WE HAVE GRENADIER!! HONESTLY THEYD BE HIGHER BUT THESE LAST FEW UP TILL SPOT 1 ARE REALLY TRICKY BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. but grenny’s got everything going for them. they’ve got an awesome design. they’ve got an awesome wife. they’ve got a thing for hot moms (respectfully). i also love the fact that they’re like. a fish. that’s cool as fuck. also their whole dynamic with joce from what ive seen is so awesome and id love to see more of it some time. love them. they’re so cool. everything about them makes me wanna sink in my teefs and rip off their skin :3
IM SORRY TO DO THIS TO YOU AND I SWEAR IT WAS PRACTICALLY A TIE BUT RAYMON, ONCE AGAIN YOU’RE COMING IN SECOND TO YOUR BROTHER (sorry that was mean), IN OUR 3RD SPOT!!! god where do i begin. i wanna dunk him in water. he’s so soppy…… so pathetic i love him dearly… anyone surprised by this high ranking underestimates my love of sad sad mentally unstable men. like guys he’s so squishy. also just the idea of him being totally fine with vian practically torturing him as long as vian does the bare minimum of complimenting him or smthn is so funny to me like god he is desperate for validation /pos. anyways moving on….
IN 2ND, MY FAVORITE GUY…. THE GUY…….. SLOANE!!! honestly like i was saying him and raymon were really close here. like the main reason he wins is because of his awesome mustache. like god that thing is unbeatable. like you’re telling me there’s a catboy and he’s got a mustache. deal. peak design. also i love how he’s absolutely terrible but still so lovable like god fucking damn i can’t hate him even if i try. he’s just so fun. he’s also so messed up and honestly that just makes me love him more. like wdym he’s hurt the people he loves and is also tormented by a god… that’s like my favorite things to be…. honestly i can’t even blame joce because if i could i’d also love to run sloane over with a train at full force and speed.
AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST PLACE SPOT, THE MOMENT YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR…. THE ONE AND ONLY AMITIE!!!!! is that really a surprise. i think ive made it abundantly clear that this girl never leaves my mind. she’s always there. like god she is so relatable (she has killed before she has undergone so m) she’s so me. she’s so me. like girl we can ignore red flags together it’s ok. god i love everything about her. what the fuck do you mean she was a part of the mafia at one point and what the fuck do you mean she’s also dead and a streamer and a tgirl. she’s so iconic and i fucking love her. like she probably makes lameass references and i would watch an entire show just because she made a joke about it once. i cannot stand how much love i have for her i will explode. i am the number one amitie fan move over grenadier. the real reason grenadier isn’t higher is because i am JEALOUS of them (/j). god nobody can ever beat amitie or her impeccable failgirl swag. she’s amazing. she has so much going for her. she’s such a loser and i love her infinitely.
hi reply to this if you want me to make a personal list of my top favorite characters of yours in order and with reasons because i feel silly rn :3
#ray’s oc tag#friend’s ocs#ocs#oc#(ignore the obscure roleplay references tossed in there)#i honestly love them all#i’m so attached to your characters it’s not even funny#i love how you write them too because they’re all so distinct from each other#and have such unique stories#like woah you are so cool. and your characters are so cool.#i’m dissecting your brain to find out the secret formula
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“So we can’t write Black characters?🧍🏾‍♀️” No one said that but if they did they’d have every right. Within two weeks we have learned that not only did a white woman write a “Black romance” but that it will be marketed during Black History Month among other unbelievable things and that another white woman thinks that we put bacon grease in our hair…Tell me why we would want you to write Black characters when y’all are always doing something you’re not supposed to. Touching our experiences without an ounce of research is very bold. Of course you’re getting cussed out and left bad reviews. You thought you had a right to tell that story when you didn’t. If you want to include us in your stories do so without overstepping. That’s all.
#why do we have to keep going over this?#white authors#it’s really not that hard to understand#if we did say no you’d survive#Black stories are not yours to tell#unique writes
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Tetris Fanart.
I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah
#text#art#eyestrain#cw eystrain#bright colors#cw bright colors#tetris#nintendo#god i dont know what to tag this with. i dont wanna tag it with the podcasts themselves cuz that feels disingenuous. swagever#i actually started this piece a while ago. ok yeah looking at the date that was almost 3 weeks ago wow#but i finally decided to bring it back and finish it#ive been getting back into digital art and its been really nice. its nice having finished pieces.#ive been trying to get weirder with my art. like this piece was weirdly 'personal' in a sense#its been my unique experience listening to these pieces of media. the game in the bg is jsut as important to my experience as the art itsel#the looming sense of dread these podcasts give fit weirdly well with the high tension of some of these games of tetris#i wanted to have that sorta weird ominous vibe to it. have even the pieces feel loud and threatening.#and the gameplay being Past the ds itself is something i thought could be neat#ykno the tetris effect? where you play a bunch and then after you see the shapes everywhere;you play it in your mind?#that was part of what i wanted to channel there. but also like; how your attention works with this stuff#i might be looking straight at the ds but my attention is elsewhere; my brain is in another world#the game is still inescapable tho. tetris effect whatever. these stories stick in my brain just as much.#its all given me some. very very annoyingn anxiety. but i have to go back to them. like a moth to a flame etc. hince the moth climbing out#but uh yeah. that set up was my life for a few weeks whenever i had free time.#the main podcast this is about was magnus btw <- not typing full name so im not on the tag#and uh.#objectum#yeah i think. i think yeah.
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2006/2007 pokemon center mew plush (x)
#plushcore#plushblr#plush#plushies#stuffed animals#toycore#kidcore#nintendo#pokemon#nintendo plush#pokemon plush#mew#owned#SO this plush goes for a lot these days#but i actually have one from when i was a kid#she was my best friend during some of the worst times of my life#i tied a pink ribbon around her neck at one point bc ive always loved plush w that kind of detail#shes so so so special to me#as a plush this one is unique for the type of fabric used which is more of a minky fur than whats used on most modern mew plush#so yeah thats my personal story about her#mines in rough shape after beign so well loved but maybe ill clean her up someday#if i could ever afford it and find one in mint condition id love to get another too#love this picture with THREE of them#photo source has a nice personal story and some more details abt this plush too#op#vintage plush#mew plush
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this chapter has been so absolutely nuts that I actually low-key forgot that I had a couple of new UM posters to do! wild! anyway, I gotta think about Lilia's some more, so here is my beautiful electric crocodile son in the meantime. god I hope this reads properly
(I went with Volt to go with his name, but there's a Bolt version too in the print-size folder!)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#unique magic posters#sebek: i have no choice...i'm going to have to use my special secret technique...#sebek: (furiously shuffling his socks on the shag carpeting) JUPITER THUNDERCLAP ZAP#i love him so much#it turns out i had missed a couple of scenes in his hexagon map so i went back and made sure to hit everything#and i am SO glad i did#i almost missed the spoon scene! I ALMOST MISSED THE SPOON SCENE#every single bit with little sebek and silver is just such a delight#in fact every single bit with big sebek and silver is pretty delightful too#sebek going 'silver if you don't come out RIGHT NOW i'm going to tell everyone your embarrassing fishing story!' is a personal favorite#tell us the story sebek. TELL US
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did another rough concept for faron for my comic
design is based on both skyward swords and botws look since they are the same character in my AU, idk if this is the final one; she will show up in chapter 4
basic design, with robe, and one of her being noisy
(comic concept art)
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#tloz#loz#character design#doodles#skyward sword#the legend of zelda#i kinda want the dragons to look like both skysw but also hint at that they are also the dragons in botw just wayyyy evolved/older#while still have it unique looking#and the fact that shes named faron even though thats kinda ... wrong for her element i based that on hylias poor eyesight#so she literally .. accidentally switched two of the names around#also naydra being the one getting corrupted is bc faron was the one thats been against hylias growing affection for demise#and she really does hate him#so shes more susceptible to malice corruption#even if in botw she is a mere ethereal spirit and theres really nothing of her character left from the time this comic takes place#even if it doesn matter in the story that that happens in botw- it is where i got the idea from#plus shes kinda rude in skysw anyway lol
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Hey, I’m new to Tumblr, but I’ve seen your characters around the internet and I love them so much!! Everyone has so much love for Machete and Vasco and your art is so cool to see! Do you have any tips for an aspiring artist and creative writer?
Hi! Welcome to tumblr! I'm glad to hear you like my dogs :]
I'm not really a writer, and I also completely lose my confidence when I'm trying to explain my art processes. So this is probably an obvious, unhelpful platitude at best, but one thing I've realized is that you should allow yourself to be self-indulgent. If you're the primary target audience of your own work, it generates passion and keeps you inspired and motivated. I like to believe that people who see your creations are more likely to respond to them positively if they can sense that you're putting your heart and soul to them.
#if you have any special interests that you're really knowledgeable about you can try including them in your art/writing somehow#even if it seems kind of an odd match they may merge into an interesting and potentially unique combination#like this Vaschete era I'm going through is a product of lifelong interest in animals history art and religion#just jamming all of my favorite topics and themes in there#be forgiving to yourself when things fon't work out as smoothly as you had hoped#and try to cultivate a positive relationship with the creative process and end results#meaning if you have a habit of putting yourself down and saying your art/writing sucks#try not to do that#it can lead you to resent the whole hobby and stifle your potential#I dunno this probably comes across so vague and nebulous#answered#sagepuca#tldr: be excited about whatever you create#make art/stories that you yourself would look at and think 'this is the coolest thing it's like it was tailored just for me'#also like I'm just some guy you don't have to take my advice these are just some things that have helped me personally#your experience and approach might be different
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