#and has trouble letting go
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Small but significant character moments that I actually really adore are from both the times we see the boys as tots. There is a reoccurrence that happens in both of them that I find so incredibly interesting.
For the turtle tot short, Splinter leaves the boys with weapons. In the short, Raph is the one who suggests they do “what Lou Jitsu would do” and Leo is the one who takes point when Splinter comes back to reprimand them. Leo, in taking point, is the one to defend them and get Splinter off their tails.
And then, in the flashback regarding the Kuroi Yōroi helmet, Raph is the one who grabs and throws “Skully” as a way to replace their missing ball which breaks it into pieces, but Leo is the one who speaks for the group and rushes into action to fix the teapot.
I love this for multiple reasons, but the biggest are how it shows that Raph has always been inclined toward the bold and fun and making the plans to include his brothers in what he loves and believes they’d love, whereas Leo has always been inclined to be the “Face” of the group and shoulder the attention even if it’s potentially negative all while coming up with on the spot attempts to fix the situation.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#rise Raph#rise leo#I really do love this bit of character writing a ton#again it’s so small but like this is consistent!#little Raph just wanted to have fun with his bros 😭#Leo immediately coming in with the save both times (and more - remember Bug Busters?)#I really love too how none of them pointed fingers like#it was Understood that Leo would speak for them#listen there’s a reason Leo is the Face Man and it’s NOT just because he’s got a pretty face#he can talk both himself and his fam out of situations and I wish we saw it even more because it’s amazing to witness#circling back to Raph his bold nature is something I ADORE about him but I don’t see it brought up a lot which makes me so sad#like this boy is a RAPHAEL he is bold!!#and it’s cute too how the other bros immediately go along with it too#imo the Raph in these tot flashback is the same Raph that glues them all together as a bonding exercise#side note but damn…Leo saves them from punishment in the tot short and immediately gets jumped 😔#but yeah man I think a Lot about the little dynamics between the bros and how those dynamics could have first came into being#Leo being the face of the team and having been it since childhood-#-makes all the moments of immediately choosing to sacrifice himself when HE royally messes up all the more notable#if it’s one bro or the whole group individually he’s more chill about it but often still lets himself be the talker to get them out of it#he will do his damndest to get his brothers and himself out of trouble but once they’re in it he’s in the front with a smile#his own safety be damned#Raph is actually the same in that respect - he’ll jump into danger fists first but all bets are off when a brother is in danger#and like how Leo’s been the face - as the eldest Raph has been the de facto leader of sorts#he’s the one who is shown to make up their games! and I think that’s very cute#anyway their clashing in the movie is so interesting for a lot of reasons but one of them is that it shows how-#-even a longstanding dynamic like Raph and Leo’s that’s WORKED for so long is still susceptible to flaws…and to time
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you
but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.
he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared.
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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the recency bias in the f1 community is insane actually
#this is mostly regaring the comments i’ve seen about how ferrari are going to regret signing lewis over carlos for next year#like have people just forgotten everything lewis has achieved in his career???#even last year! he came in third in the driver standings!#like#how can people compare carlos and lewis now and think that it’s a compelling argument#???#the ferrari is literally the second fastest car!!!!!#but no just cause he has had trouble with his car in the last 3 gps he’s ’washed’#let’s just disregard the fact that the merc is a tractor in disguise right now i guess…..#please be so fucking for real right now#formula 1#f1#lewis hamilton#this is not me being anti carlos btw. carlos is undeniably an amazing driver and i hope he gets a good seat next year#but please. we’re only 3 races into this season#we still have a long way to go#just chill#anyway#just had to get this off my chest
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#ryuuji suguro#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#ryuji suguro#cram school#rin okumura#manga ryuuji#suguro ryuji#suguro ryuuji#bon suguro#lewin light#lewin lightning light#chapter 70#so ryuuji is impulsive and that gets over looked a lot#this is a hot headed boy really driven by his beliefs and emotions#and it gets him in trouble#but also means he's quick to defend what he believes and who he supports#and this time it leads him to going after what he thinks he needs#something that will make him feel like he has a purpose because he's been floating around without one since part way through Inari#but it's been longer than that#he just noticed it was happening in inari#he throws himself fully into this option and hope he sees#and prostrates himself in front of a brilliant mess of a man who has already laughed and toyed with him multiple times in a very short time#who clearly can't clean worth a damn and has made it already obvious he doesn't do his own work#who lied blatantly and obviously#who doesn't blink to summon or kill demons#who is one of the most powerful exorcists#and ryuuji throws himself into the deepest bow he can because he doesn't let pride stop him from his goals#and his goal has just become to get a drive and lewin might be the answer#and lewin i think genuinely at this point doesn't want to deal with what he sees as a smart but directionless kid
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Wait something funny just occurred to me. In the AU where the kids get cyber formed but remain on the edge of being adults, someone would have had to give them the Cybertonian version of The Sex Talk.
Would it be Ratchet, giving them the strictly medical side of things, or would it be some bot, talking about the experimental/exploring parts?
(I genuinely believe Ratchet would have an aneurysm of some kind at the prospect of it. But let's pretend)
I have to name this verse properly because Tarn isn't here, but it will eventually lead the D.J.D. to Earth. I'll keep the soulmate au tag until I can figure out something.
Ratchet does have an aneurysm because he has set ideas on what is and isn't 'appropriate' from Functionist-held Golden Age Cybertron, but he also carries a lot of guilt from out-surviving almost all his friends, cohorts, and students...
And it's all being dragged into the mud by the Jasper trio, who gives no quarter on crushing his prejudices and fears. Even Raf, his favorite, casually steamrolls over it with the draconian and American mindset of giving no fucks.
Team Prime had harmless thought exercises of what their charges' Cybertronian frames would be like... and none of them were remotely correct!
Because Miko is a Seeker femme, Raf may or may not be a type of Predacon, and Ratchet can't get proper readings on Jack's base-coding, Ratchet sits them all down because they're not sparklings or mechlings with sealed plates but full-framed mecha with total access. He gives them the reproductive talk, especially since Seekers and beastformers go into reproductive heats, but humans don't have that. He's trying to be mindful, and Ratchet is going through the different sexual methods and the variations of parts. Of course, Raf has to interrupt because the draconian mech has two spikes and no receptacle, and he would like to know about any necessary care.
All in all, it's really Ratchet having another fit because his weird humans are now weird Cybertronians of yore/throwbacks. And the ex-humans are taking it rather well, but Jack, Miko, and Raf had literally lifetimes to explore sexuality: as humans, human-hybirds by exploring their heritage as well as alchemical concoctions and very curious lovers.
This, however, did kickstart the path of Ratchet teaching Miko his medical knowledge as she doesn't want the results. She's burning to have the technical skills and knowledge of the processes. Ratchet does pass on his skills to Raf and Jack, but Raf prefers the science as Jack is more fascinated by procuring research material. Miko literally bullzoned her way to become his student. The howling matches they had shook the foundations of the base, but she got her way because she deliberately aimed at his vulnerable parts. ("You'll leave us one day to go back to Cybertron! And you're refusing to tell me how to properly care for myself!?") Ratchet is highly concerned about how voracious Miko's appetite is for that knowledge.
She yearns to become a Tsunade/Unohana terror among them because they have a strong suspicion that if their status is revealed, then they'll become targets. She'll become a Cybertronian Bloodbourne horror if it means she'll never be trapped like what happened to some of her kin.
#ask#transformers#transformers prime#tfp#soulmate au#jack darby#miko nakadai#raf esquivel#humanformers#humans into Cybertronians#ratchet#magic#creature#medical complications#cybertronian biology#cybertronian culture#violence#maccadam#my writing#i know i hadnt written about it#but ratchet here has a lot of survivor guilt and shame#he feels like a failure especially how the reconstruction is going#and now more failure is being rubbed in his face as the kids picked up the slack#the jasper trio keep throwing themselves in danger instead of living a normal life with normal trouble#and miko as a Seeker femme is giving Ratchet cold sweats because he treated 'beloved' Songbirds that were basically bred to death#he has a lot of conflicting wants and actions that stem from trauma or well intentions but...#at least miko isnt the kind of person to let it shimmer too long. she gnaws to the root and will challenge or find a way to get it.
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Yiyong + text posts
#oh no! here comes trouble#oh no here comes trouble#不良執念清除師#Tseng Jing Hua#pu yiyong#onhctedit#my edits#m#this has been in my drafts for 2 months if you were curious#im not fully satisfied with it (bc im unnecessarily particular) but like. i need to let it go#i literally have so many other posts like this in my drafts for the drama and this has been sitting there p much finished for a whole month#its time to release it into the wild
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okay, but where's my steddie AU where steve wants to learn to play guitar to impress a girl he's infatuated with and he remembers that munson kid was always hanging up posters for his weird band at school, so he hikes out to eddie's usual dealing spot behind the track and asks (with far less groveling than he really should have) if eddie will teach him how to play, and obviously eddie says no because why would he want to help king steve, but of course, steve offers to pay him, $20 a week, and well, that's the kind of get-the-hell-out-of-this-shithole-town cash eddie really can't afford to refuse, so fine, he'll teach steve to play and they'll spend inordinate amounts of time together tucked away in eddie's room and they'll start to see that they have more in common than they thought and that they kind of had each other all wrong, and eddie will put his hand over steve's to help him get the placement for a tricky chord and it totally won't awaken anything in either of them?? where is it??
edit: i started writing it
#steve x eddie#steddie#stranger things#someone tell me this has already been written because i need it. please.#bonus points if steve shows up to the first practice session empty-handed#and eddie nearly calls the whole thing off when he has the Audacity to grab at eddie's sweetheart as if eddie'd ever let him play her#and he doesn't even teach steve anything that day because rule number one get your own fucking guitar and keep your mitts off mine#but by the end when eddie is deep deep deep in love and it's time to send steve off to woo this lucky girl of his#he offers to let steve take his sweetheart because she's guaranteed to make him look ten times hotter and cooler#and he'll have no trouble sweeping his girl off her feet and maybe eddie's breaking his own heart but it's fine—as long as steve's happy#except steve doesn't seem nearly as happy as eddie thought he would be#he seems sad actually and eddie kind of hates that so he starts to make some lame joke about how steve should be honored#because eddie wouldn't lend his baby out to just anyone and that gets steve to crack half a smile#but then he puts the guitar down on eddie's bed (with all due gentle reverence) walks over takes eddie's face in his hands and kisses him#kisses him like he's been dying to do it for weeks. because he has#because somewhere along the line it stopped being about wanting to impress a girl and started being about wanting to be with eddie#it started being screwing up on purpose so that eddie would grab his hands and show him how it's supposed to be done#and forgetting about lessons entirely and just sitting around and listening to eddie talk or just watching him play#because somewhere along the line steve fell out of infatuation and into love with the last person he ever expected....#anyway idk where i'm going with this
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#p4au#p4#persona 4 arena ultimax#persona 4#narukami yu#souyo#this scene makes me chew glass (positive) because AGAIN.#it reflects Yosuke's unwillingness to trouble others and how he would rather take on the problem himself#(and it's also so hypocritical of him because hes all about not letting others do things by themselves lol)#but again i also like having yu's perspective here because again it shows how yosuke is understood#iirc shortly before (or after) this calll yosuke had just been talking to chie and yukiko as well and trying to cheer them up#and yu's perspective acknowledges that kind of consideration yosuke has for others#i think the feeling of being known is one of the most intimate there is and here its just ... out on display in full force.... i love it sm#i swear this blog isn't going to become a souyo centric blog i just have a strong bias lol#he's good with his queue
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(mgv) for a not-so-insignificant portion of his life, house was terrified of being suggestible to the alpha voice as john wasn't afraid to supplement his punishments with them so house would be physically incapable of not complying.
the first time wilson used the voice on house in a fit of frustration after house's incessant needling regarding wilson's obvious lack of life fulfillment ("you're not happy, you're just married."), house was genuinely afraid. he avoided him for days. wilson, mortified by his own loss of control and desperate to apologize, did Not let this be what killed their friendship, effectively (accidentally) sabotaging his own marriage to bonnie by prioritizing his relationship with house over his relationship with her. again.
#house md#house mgv#mgv#of course house forgives him#he is physically incapable of being away from wilson for too long even if for a split second he was genuinely scared of him#even once they're going back to routine and house acts like nothing ever happened >#he still has subtle tells he's readjusting now that he Knows that wilson could easily weaponize the voice >#to hold power over him just as john did to him when he was a child. fidgeting when wilson's in a bad mood or >#tensing if he gets too close before he forces himself to relax. wilson notices of course but doesn't say anything even though it kills him#wilson promises house he'll never do it again. house knows he will. and he does#though because wilson DIDN'T take advantage of house that first time house subconsciously takes to these slip-ups as exposure therapy#like house flustering wilson with dirty lines to the point where wilson uses the voice when he tells him to shut up#which serves to prove to house he WAS getting more riled up than he let on#while also showing through wilson's immediate regret that he cares about him enough to never use it against him#no matter how much trouble house gets into wilson doesn't use it to control him like some bad alphas would#cuddy even gently suggests wilson use the voice on house when he needs to be wrangled#and wilson pushes back every time bc he doesn't need to betray house's trust to tame him#which is true!! he knows house well enough to play him without weaponizing biology most of the time
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i am immensely curious about what happened to miss retro's after the events of killer track. was it abandoned? demolished? re-bought by miss holiday? if not, what happened to all that she left there? she didn't leave the black book, right. right
#this is primarily a joke#but an AU in which some hatchetfield kids break into the abandoned miss retro's and end up summoning the lords in black would be really fun#more realistically i don't think miss holloway could let go of miss retro's that easily#and she has the ability to influence people using her magic (as seen in the witch in the web)#so i'm sure it wouldn't have been much trouble for her to just. get it back#hatchetfield#nightmare time 2#killer track#nightmare time#miss holloway
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god it's that claudia's journals were always her way of rejecting her purpose being to serve as louis and lestat's marriage-saving baby. there's no such thing as an objective account in this story but hers is the closest we can come, because she has no reason to self-censor despite louis' discomfort with it. her final entry is when she chooses a wholly new life with madeleine over forever having to live alongside and deal with the fallout of louis and lestat. the entire trial is everyone choosing louis over her except for madeleine. and the final memory of her that will be committed to the record is the version where her burnt corpse is dragged back out as collateral between her fathers, one last fucking time
#claudia i would have drunk so much blood with you and kept you alive forever#interview with the vampire#claudia de pointe du lac#one thing i think this season particularly has done subtly yet very well is explore the particular misogyny among gay men#that inevitably leads to queer women being the first ones they throw under the bus#louis tells himself he's looking out for claudia but he never prioritizes her he never listens to her#he can only let her go through a knowing that someone else will 'look out for her' rather than her being an adult vampire in her own right#it's genuinely very interesting and not a depth of insight that i was expecting! it makes their dynamic so much better#the trouble that louis wont downplay only starts when claudia becomes his sister rather than his daughter
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Not too sure how far im gonna take this WIP, but it looked good enough at this point that i wanted to share it anyways
Just a bunch of studies of Dreamseeker & Senadina, featuring their official character portraits and some art from the latest story release, so not my own compositions but im redrawing it without tracing, to practice their designs & some sketching techniques im trying out
#this ship has me in a strangehold i stg#lets go lesbians!!!#also ive no clue what the ship name is#since the default name for Dreamseeker is Entropy i just went with that in-game#so to me this is Entropy x Senadina#sooo uhhh sentropy? enadina? uhhh?????#honkai impact 3rd#honkai 3rd#hi3rd#honkai fanart#honkai impact#honkai dreamseeker#honkai senadina#dreamseeker x senadina#senadina x dreamseeker#entropy x senadina#also i really am not a fan of the way i drew Entropy’s face#but the face is the hardest part for me to draw in this style so thats really what im here for#to practice all that hard stuff that gives me trouble x-x
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things i do not need: more wip ideas
and yet
#i'm being bombarded with tommy in peril spec/headcanons and it's giving me Thoughts#because buck would HAVE TO be there#right?#he wouldn't let it go#whether the 118 is on scene or he goes rogue#he would BE THERE#helicopter crash? buck is digging through the rubble#car crash? buck has the jaws of life ready to go#held at gunpoint? buck is biding his time out of sight until he can rush in#because he WILL save his boyfriend#but there's the gerrard of it all to consider#buck going rogue could only lead to gerrard threatening to write him up or fire him or reprimand him in some way#we saw what happened in hen begins with the car accident#so of course buck goes off to save his boyfriend#and whoops it was the right call! and he earns another commendation! how about that#and gerrard is livid#of course#that man turns 15 shades of puce within the first five seconds of learning buck has run off#but of course the firefam has his back#the city too really#so that's finally FINALLY how they get rid of gerrard for good#all because his ex-subordinate was in trouble and his current subordinate is in love with him#anyway#had to get that out somewhere that didn't make it turn into YET ANOTHER WIP#because jfc send help#911 abc#evan buckley#tommy kinard#the ally and the beast#bucktommy
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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