#and has treated me not great even after all of that
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seungsuki ¡ 2 days ago
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so there's this professor... - 01 fractured equations masterlist
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“do you even know yourself, or are you just another child moulded by the world around us?”
your small eyes search for the voice, a distant echo floating in the cold air. you shuffle closer, yearning for the warmth of the fading memory, but the chilly air of britain’s streets sink into your bones. here, survival isn’t merely a skill; it’s a daily battle that leaves you feeling small and utterly alone like a speck of dust
“promise me you won’t fall into the mould”
you look up, your heart aching at the sight of her sad smile painted on like a fragile mask of a porcelain doll, cracking at the edges. behind it lies grief far too vast for a seven-year-old to fathom.
how could you ever comprehend the weight of her sorrow? 
your tiny hands reach out, desperate for comfort, but all you grasp is emptiness—the coldness of fingers that once cradled you close, now forever still. cold hands fall on your face as you stare in horror
no word slips from your lips, not even a fragile whisper, just a silent plea from your heart. another reminder that love can vanish, leaving only absence in your already empty void. you want to scream, to shake her from her slumber.
but instead, you sit there. hope became a cruel joke, and the warmth of her embrace is a ghost that taunts you. tears prick as you try your hardest to carve her smile into your memory. in that moment, you realise 
you’re not just searching for her; you’re searching for yourself in the ruins of her despair. 
“mother..?”
…
…
…
“hold on- let me say goodbye to my mother before we head off”
you snap back to the present, watching your best friend dash into his mother’s store. you see her happy smile as she leans down, allowing him to plant a small kiss on her cheek before he turns away. you’ve always waited for him before heading to class. it’s a cherished tradition: you walk to his house in the morning, and he walks you back after class
“flowers? my mom had extras,” alvin offers, pushing a small bouquet of neatly arranged lavender roses into your hands.
“you always give me the same kind,” you say, bringing it closer
“blame my mom for growing too many. come on! we’re going to be late!” he insists, pulling you along, not wanting to elaborate 
“i miss my mother whenever i see yours,” you mutter softly, the words slipping out before you can catch them
“i miss her too- even though i never met her. which is weird if you think about it,” alvin replies, glancing back at your sad expression
“i can’t remember her anymore”
you switch off your thoughts for a moment, letting him navigate through the bustling marketplace. you treasure these few minutes, allowing your imagination to roam. daydreaming is another beloved pastime, and alvin provides the perfect escape into your bubble of comfort.
with your bag slung over his shoulder, he takes your hand in his free hand, unwilling to lose you in the crowd.
“i heard we have a new maths professor,” alvin begins again, trying to lift the mood
“he’s supposed to be young and a genius,” he adds, looking at you for a reaction.
“maths professor? what about mrs aya?” you suddenly remember
“oh, her? thomas said she’s now in his astronomy class- lucky fella,” alvin groans
you laugh at his silliness. the only reason he liked mrs. aya was for the free snacks she gave out after class. her husband, a wealthy lord, often sent treats during her lessons, accompanied by a signature green note that wished her a great day ahead. 
“one day, i’m going to find out who her lover is so i can ask if he has a sister! i’ve never tasted such wonderful cookies,” alvin reminisces
“i guess you won’t have them anymore,” you pat his back as he sulks at the thought
and just like that, you both walk toward your university building. alvin greets everyone he sees on campus, a habit that leaves you questioning his motives
“no? i’m not friends with security, but everyone deserves a good smile!” he responds cheerily
“you’re not fully dressed without a smile.”
“did you just quote haz-”
“stop. robert and his gang.. again”
with that, alvin moves you behind him, muttering about “stupid rich boys” as they approach. you clutch the flowers closer, watching him roll his eyes dramatically. a sigh escapes his lips as he stands face-to-face with robert
“how do you always bump into us? it’s almost like you wait here,” alvin begins
“me? wait for some peasants? do you not know who i am? i am robert smith! the-”
“the second son of lord smith and the sole heir of the luxury leather manufacturers. we know. you’re a broken record at this point,” alvin interrupts, mimicking him.
“i see [last name] still comes here. have you not found a partner yet? you keep coming to ‘educate’ yourself, but what’s the point? no one would hire a low-class rat,” robert retorts, his friends snickering in the background.
“i told you to leave us alone, right? get lost” alvin insists, trying to shoo robert away, but he stands firm
“i could propose to spare your lowly life… i do need a new piece for my future collection,” robert continues to taunt
“ooh, how unfortunate! to me, [name] leroy sounds a lot better than [name] smith- which, by the way, sounds like a shoe polisher,” alvin shoots back as he walks away with you
“you don’t always have to defend me,” you mutter, glancing back at the fuming robert.
“grow a spine first stupid” alvin replies, looking at you with his usual smile.
with that, you both reach your first class. mathematics has its own muse, but you’ve never understood the supposed muse. while you’re not failing, you’re certainly not a star student either. you settle into your seats in the middle rows as alvin struggles to see the board from far
“glasses aren’t such a bad thing…” you comment as you pull out your notebook.
“true, but i don’t see why i should pay so much just to read the board,” alvin sighs, slouching back with his latest magazine.
“you’re going to pay attention to the board… with a magazine?” you question.
“shush, i don’t want to label you as a snitch,” he teases, flipping through the pages.
you let the conversation drop, not wanting to disturb his reading. your gaze drifts around the classroom, where a mix of new faces and familiar ones fills the room. it’s a new semester, and getting into the university was not easy, given the challenging entry requirements.
right on cue, your new professor walks in. his striking blonde hair catches your eye, making him stand out immediately. even his three-piece brown suit looked more expensive than your entire snack budget.
he stands before the board, chalk in hand, neatly writing his name with precision. even his handwriting exudes a sense of perfection. he appears rather young for a mathematics professor, surprising you further.
“i am william james moriarty,” he introduces himself as he turns to the students. “i’ll be teaching mathematics.”
“i hope you take this class seriously. i remember a quote by albert einstein,” william states.
“pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.”
“what is he even saying?” alvin whispers, and you shrug in response
“now, some of you might be like mr. leroy here, confused as to why i brought this up,” william continues. “think of my words as motivation.”
“he knows my name??” alvin gasps, nearly shouting in your ear
“i am well aware of everyone’s name, mr. leroy. you’re not as quiet as you presume to be,” he replies, and the class erupts into laughter. 
you can’t help but join in as alvin buries his face in his arms, magazine forgotten on the floor. the rest of the class unfolds normally. your professor teaches, and the time slips away. class had ended before you even finished your notes. 
“should we get him a little gift?” you ask as you pack your bag
“a gift?? for him?? after he embarrassed me??” alvin exclaims, his bewildered expression making you laugh
“your hair is messy again silly”, you sighed 
a silence falls between you, and you reach out to push the bangs from his forehead. he flinches, feeling your hand before swatting it away to fix his hair himself muttering about how he could do it himself 
“okay, so what are you going to get him, your majesty?” alvin rolls his eyes
“a set of new chalk?” you suggest 
“chalk? why? the school provides him with a huge box!” he reasons.
“no, no! i mean the kind used by mathematicians- hagoromo chalk! isn’t it nice? i could even knit him a small napkin to clean the board later on!” you continued 
“i don’t see you putting this much effort into my gifts…”
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TAGLIST
@eliasorchard @ayaswrld @iris-arcadia
Š seungsuki 2024-25 -- do not repost, translate, alter, etc on any platform without permission. Any characters used in my work do not belong to me, they are created by their original creator. all images are from pinterest. banner video is made my me and do not use it anywhere
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lucedilunax ¡ 6 hours ago
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Thank you, I love you - C. Keller
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pairing: Clayton Keller x girlfriend!reader
summary: Three times when she helped Clayton and one time when Clayton helped her
warning: NSFW, graphic sex (+18), swear words
words: 2.4k
note: ahh my first ever request work! i was so excited to write about clayton, enjoy it💕
masterlist
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When Arizona’s franchise was suspended
In April, the big news hit that Coyotes won’t be in NHL. This was a shock for Clayton. He knew about the problems, but he was pushing away the thought that club, who drafted him and gave him a chance to play won’t be existing. His head was spiraling, he was uncertain about his future.
When Clayton got back home after coach told them about this, he hasn’t acknowledged his girlfriend sitting on a kitchen chair, waiting for him. Like always, she asked him questions about the training, but he haven’t heard anything. It was uncommon for him to ignore her. She started wondering if she has done something to piss him off.
She felt like the right call is to give Clayton space. When he went straight to the living room and turned on a movie, she went to their bedroom. As much as she wanted to confront him and ask him what’s going on, she preferred to stay out of it and wait for him to talk.
The evening came and she decided to leave the room and go to the kitchen to cook for both. She knew that Clayton can’t prepare any meals and probably haven't ate anything since he returned. She stepped into the kitchen, and he saw her. He immediately stood up and rushed to her.
“Hi love”. Clayton said and kissed her. “Sorry for earlier but I’ve got weird news and couldn’t place my mind in the right spot”. He hugged her and placed his head on her shoulder.
“Talk to me baby”. That’s all she said while running her hand down his back.
“Our franchise is suspended which means we’re not existing since next season”. He admitted to her. She felt the wet spot on her arm, but she didn't care about it. “I don’t even know if I’m gonna play hockey next season. Every club has good players on my position. I don’t want to retire in the age of 26, there’s still so many things I want to achieve”. She pushed herself from him to look at him. She grabbed Clayton’s face in her hand and kissed his lips.
“Baby, you’ll be playing next season. Stop doing this to yourself. You are great player, and you’ll find a new club. You won’t be in Arizona anymore, but you’ll stay in NHL. Trust me. This is all new and that’s why you feel this way but there’s gonna be club to take you under their wing”.
Clayton looked at her with love in his eyes. He knew she’s right. He’s good player and he’ll find a new club. He grabbed her waist and pulled her to another hug.
“Thank you. I needed this pep talk. I guess I just started overreacting after hearing the news”.
“That’s why I’m always here for you. Just try not to shut me off. I genuinely thought I did something to piss you off and that’s why you haven’t spoke to me since you got back home”. She laughed. He kissed her passionately.
“You, my love, could never do anything wrong”. He kissed her again. “Now, where are we going on dinner?” He asked.
“I planned to cook something. Why would you want to go out?” She asked confused.
“You deserve to be treated like a princess so we’re going out”. When they were going to the car, to lighten the mood, she joked.
“Besides, without Arizona there’s gonna be 31 clubs which is unpaired. They have to create a new team to make it even”. Clayton laughed when he heard that.
“You’re impossible”.
“Maybe, but you love me for that”. Before he opened her door, he grabbed her cheek and kissed her.
“You don’t even have a clue how much I love you”.
When they’ve moved to Utah (NSFW)
Whole summer, Clayton and his girlfriend spent on moving out from Arizona to Utah. It was stressful time for them because they needed to pack all their years of life into boxes. Both had fun finding out old things and getting all retrospections while looking at them. When the house was empty, they felt sad. All their relationship was moving on from the place where they fall in love.
Despite it, she and Clayton were excited for their new chapter. They started new adventure together in Utah. When they bought new house and stepped in, they sheer a tear. This was the place where they’re gonna be a family. She was the first one to look around. Clayton was going after her like a puppy. He saw how she’s gonna be taking care of her their kids in this place. He could already imagine that.
“So, what do you think?” He asked her.
“I love it. It’s beautiful. Can’t wait to start our new life here”. She said and placed her hands behind his neck. “What do you think?”
“It’s great. I’m so happy that you moved here with me”. He leans down and kissed her. “We need to celebrate this”. He kissed her again.
“Mhm, and what do you have in mind?” She asked knowing exactly what he has in mind.
“Let me show you”. Clayton grabbed her under her knees and took her in bridal style to the bedroom. He placed her on their new bed and started to kiss her.
“Wait”. She pulled out from him, and he looked confused. “We’re celebrating new life thanks to your transfer here so let me do the work”. He smiled at her words.
“And how are you gonna do it?”
“Let me ride you”. She blushed at her words. No matter how many times they had sex or even conversations about it, she was shy.
“Undressed love and I’ll do the same. Later, I’m all yours”. She obeyed his words. He undressed immediately. She took off her shirt and pants. but when she wanted to unclip her bra, he stopped her. He was standing naked in front on her when he reached for the bra clip to take if off. Later, he kneeled in front of her and took off her panties. He placed kisses on her lower stomach.
“Stop teasing babe, I really need your dick in me”. Clayton laughed at her words.
“Someone’s eager”. He kissed her lips and sat on the bed. “Then ride me like you wanted”.
She sat on his thighs and spit on her hand to run it over his dick.
“Now, you stop teasing me or I’ll get my way with you”. He said in serious tone. She grabbed his cock and placed her entry on his. Clayton grabbed her waist and helped her to fully sat on him.
“Fuck, you’re huge Clayton”. He smiled at her words. He hasn’t done anything. Just kept his hands on her waist and let her adjust to his length. When she was ready, she started jumping on him. He took off his hands from her waist and played with her tits. She was moaning his name. When she got little tired, he pulled her to his chest and grabbed her ass to helped her in the movements. She started to kiss his jawline until she moaned again from the new angle.
“Clayton… I’m close”. She said while making hickeys on his collarbone.
“Hold on, I’m almost there love”. He speeds up and soon after he could feel her coming all over his cock. He thrusted couple more times and cum in her pussy.
She fell on his chest tired. Clayton stayed in her and kissed her temple.
“I guess we just christened our new house”. She laughed at his words. He felt that she’s shivering from the cold. “C’mon, let’s take a bath and order some takeaway. The boxes can wait until tomorrow. I love you”. He picked her up and kissed her cheek.
When Clayton had been named a captain
Everything was going smoothly in Utah. Most of Clayton’s teammates were transferred there and he’d been hanging out with them. With his teammates, their partners also came here so she had friends here too. They started new life in new state, but they stayed in the same circle.
When Clayton started trainings with new team, there was still big unknown; who’s gonna be a captain in Utah Hockey Club. Everyone was wondering about it but all their focus was on preparation for upcoming season. Almost every preseason game, Utah played without captain. It changed a week before start of the season.
Day after game against Anaheim, the coach named a first-ever Utah captain. He decided that Clayton is the best option with his knowledge, help and understanding. He was over the moon, grateful for the trust and opportunity. In Arizona, he had been alternate captain but now, he was the leader of this ship.
When Clayton returned to their house, he saw her laying on the couch, watching a tv show. He dropped his luggage and laid on top of her.
“Get off me”. She said giggling at his affection. “What’s with you babe? Had a good trip?” She asked curious about what he’s gonna say to her.
 “Two wins and two lost games but that’s not important”. He gets off her and stand up next to his girlfriend.
“Okay, now you’re scaring me”.
“I’ve been named a captain”. Clayton announced proudly to her. When she heard that, she screamed from joy and throw herself into his arms. He caught her trying not to fall at the coffee table behind them.
“I’m so fucking proud of you babe. Oh my gosh, this is huge. I… I don’t know what to say”. She looked into his eyes. He saw the tears coming down her cheeks, so he dried them off with his thumb.
“Thanks love but…” He looked at her with serious expression. “What if I fail them?”
“Stop. You’re the right person on the right place. You’ve already been a captain in Arizona, and you did great”.
“Alternate captain”. Clayton corrected her.
“Still a captain. Look, I get it that you’re scared that you might fail them, but you have coaches and team behind your back. You’re not alone in this. You’ve proved yourself in the past 8 years. You’re great player but most importantly you’re intelligent and you know what you’re doing. You know those guys very well and they trust you. You’re not gonna fail. Not on my watch”. She kissed him.
“Thank you. I needed those words. I don’t know what I would done without you”.
“That’s why I’m here, to help you and support you”.
“Oh, I love you”. He kissed her and hugged her like his life depended on it.
“I love you too captain”.
When she found out that she’s pregnant
She had been feeling sick when Clayton left on a roadie, but she didn’t wanted to bother him. She was certain that it was just food poisoning. When Utah was playing against New York Rangers, she invited other girlfriends to her and Clayton’s house to watch the game. Soon after, game was forgotten, and they had a girl’s night.
She refused to drink wine with them, and questions started floating about pregnancy. She explained that she feels sick and that’s why she doesn’t want to drink but other girls tried to convince her to take the test. At first, she was skeptical, but she knew she has nothing to waste. The next day, she went to the pharmacy to buy pregnancy test.
Sitting in the bathroom and looking at it, she got scared. She knew it’s a bad timing for them to have a kid. They just moved to their new house. She was searching for a new job and Clayton just became a captain. She took a deep breath and took the test.
The next three minutes went super slow. Her mind was floating around. When she grabbed the test, she saw that it’s positive. She started to cry but didn’t know if it’s from happiness or sadness.
She and Clayton always dreamt about having kids, but they wanted to wait until they’re married. They haven’t even been engaged. Will Clayton be happy? What if he leaves her? She started to have all the dark scenarios in her head. She didn’t want to break the news to him on the phone. She hasn’t even said to him that she’s sick because she was confident that he’s gonna freak out.
When Clayton returned from roadie, he immediately knew that something is off with his girlfriend. She haven't came to welcome him, and the house was dead silent. His steps lead him to their bedroom. When he opened the door, he saw her sitting in the middle of their bed biting her nails, habit she had, when she was nervous.
“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay”. Clayton approached her, grabbing her hands and placing them down.
“No, it’s not okay”. By her voice, he knew she was crying.
“Tell me what’s wrong”. She took a deep breath.
“I’m pregnant”. She whispered. Her head was looking down, she hasn’t had the bravery to look into his eyes.
“Love, that’s a great news”. He grabbed her under the chin, so she was looking at him. “We wanted to have kids. Why are you sad about it?”
“It’s the timing. I don’t have a job; you are a captain. We just moved here. It’s all happening too fast”.
“Maybe fact that you don’t have a job is a good thing. You can stay at home and rest while you are growing new life. You know that money is not a problem. I know that this might look like a bad timing, but we can do it. Together. I’m not leaving you alone in this. We can handle it”. He said and hugged her. He was over the moon by the news, but her reaction scared him. “But if you don’t want to have a kid now, I’ll be fine with that. It’s your body so you’ll decide. Although, I’m willing to be part of this adventure with you”.
“I want this kid but… I don’t know. I guess I freaked out”.
“We’re a team love. I’m here for you”. He kissed her.
“We’re gonna be parents. This sounds insane”.
“True, but I’m excited for the new journey, especially with you by my side”.
“I love you Clayton���. She kissed him deeply.
“I love you too future mommy”. He joked and kissed her back.
---
Thanks for reading❤️
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writingismygame ¡ 2 days ago
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Random Headcanons I have for the Straw Hats
Luffy: Emotionally Intelligent. There's a reason he has so many allies and gains their trust. It's not just his strength it's also his influence on their emotions that develops those relationships. Most of the time he knows what his crew really needs or wants before they do and sometimes not even just his crew.
Zoro: I feel like he actually has a great fashion sense. If I was going to get anyone to chose an outfit for me it would be him. I don't remember seeing this man in an outfit that I didn't immediately like.
Nami: I think being part of the Straw Hats has been the first time in Nami's life where she has been able to openly express herself without fear of other's reactions. She can be her complete self and depend on others. Which is why some of her reactions are sometimes over the top. She's remaking herself after a whole life time of trauma (not unlike everyone else in the crew).
Usopp: The two constants in his life were his mother and Kaya. Then when his mother died Kaya was it for him. She's the only one who treated him as an equal. I think this is a big reason for his lies, he wants someone to be there for him but the only way it used to happen was by him pretending to be more interesting then he was, or by pretending the town was in danger (/ that his dad was coming back). Now that he's found a family he's not as big of a liar as he used to be.
Sanji: We all know that Sanji cares a lot about the crew and food. He knows everyone's favorites (duh he's the chef), but I think he is also very sensitive to how people react to the food he gives them. What I mean by that is he's always observing people when they eat his food. Sanji would 100% know and notice if someone didn't like the food or if they had aversions to it. He might ask about it, but he'd most likely make specific meals more attuned to whoever had issues with the food without bringing attention to it. He's a chef if his food isn't making you happy and you're not enjoying it, he has a duty to fix it.
Chopper: Chopper isn't the best with compliments because for most of his life he felt unlovable. He was exiled by his family, blamed himself for killing the man who took him in, and Dr. Kureha is rough around the edges and is more action based than word based. He 100% only started receiving compliments commonly and realized he was lovable when he joined the Straw Hats.
Robin: Definitely thought of herself as a walking omen up until the Enies Lobby Arc. Gives the best hugs. I will take no arguments. 10/10 hugs. The perfect amount of pressure and will hug for as long as you want.
Franky: You can have the most interesting conversations with him. Like I do not see this man having a boring conversation. He can get deep and philosophical too. You could ask him anything and everything nothing is off limits for him.
Brooke: Doesn't like being alone. Kinda obvious, but it shows more often when one of the straw hats is about to be alone. He's usually the first to offer to go somewhere to keep someone company. Being alone for years messed him up and he will do whatever it takes to keep the crew from experiencing that.
Jinbei: Gives the best advice. He has done mostly everything. He's lived a full life. Brooke is older, but I think Jinbei has more experiences under his belt. While you go to Franky for a good and interesting convo. You go to Jinbei when you need a confidant. He keeps your secrets when it matters, and will give you one of those pats on the back and maybe a hug afterward. I think he gives good hugs but also like he's not the biggest hugger. Like he's down to give them out, but he's not the first to offer. He'll say yes if you ask him for one.
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greattigerssimp ¡ 2 days ago
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Hi! I see you like my stupid Punch Out x Disney Princess idea. Maybe some headcanons if they went out for Halloween as the Disney princesses (I know Halloween is over but still 😭)
idk really stupid idea but I blame my brain lol
It's not stupid at all! Girl boss Disney princess boxers coming right up ^^
Little Mac 🟢🥊
- Went as Vanellope
- Doc Louis went as Ralph and Peter Punch went as Felix
- Highly protested against putting candies in his hair
- Kept the hoodie after Halloween, but otherwise didn't care for the costume
- Terrible at the voice
- Watched the movie for authenticity, later bullied Joe for being cut from the film
Glass Joe 🇫🇷 🥐
- Absolutely adorableeee. Bro got lots of candy for being so bonita
- He actually loooves Beauty and the Beast! It's classic French literature, after all, and he's a sucker for adorable literary works like that.
- Also relates to Belle a lot, mainly for her love of reading
- Gets giddy every time he watches the movie or the Broadway version
- Kinda snobby about it though, like he's all like "erm actually the Broadway version is the one I prefer" like sis no one cares, shush and continue being adorable
- If Gabby was alive in this AU, he'd dress up as Gaston. He admires him in a not-straight way lmao
- Obviously kept the dress
Von Kaiser 🇧🇪 🔩
- Wanted to go as Snow White or Rapunzel since he's familiar with them (his mom would read those fairy tales to him as a kid), but since he was the last boxer to choose who to go as, he got stuck with Anna
- Watched the film alongside Soda, and he didn't care for it (that was mainly bc of Soda singing along to each song)
- Sweating BUCKETS during trick or treating since Anna's outfit is quite warm
- Chaffed... a lot.
- Did not keep the costume, even after Joe's compliments.
Disco Kid 🇺🇲 🕺
- Was happy to go as Rapunzel, until he realized what a hassle the long hair would be
- Also hard to get groovy bc of the hair
- Has the entire films soundtrack on a playlist
- Made a remix of "I see the light" after he was done trick or treating
- Kept the dress, but gave it to April (his lil sister in my AU) after Halloween. She definitely dressed up as Flynn to match with Disco Kid that night
King Hippo 🏝 🦛
- Bonita af
- Watched the film, and got obsessed with it... the lush, tropical environments reminded him of home, which is rare since Hippo doesn't remember a lot about Hippo island
- Y'all should've seen him watching the film for the first time; he can't talk, but during the songs bro was low-key stimming- like, bouncing a bit in place, humming along, that sorta thing. Dude was in his element
- Joined Macho Man at the local beach for a Halloween swim
- Sadly lost his outfit in the ocean. Cried for 3 hours
Piston Hondo 🇯🇵🥊
- Dresses up as Mulan
- Thought the film was nice, but would much rather wear Mulan's armor than a dress she barely wore
- Heike dressed up as Li Shang, Dragon Chan later joined them during trick or treating, dressed as Shan Yu
- Even Yuki joined them, wearing a cute lil Mushu outfit
- Sadly didn't keep the outfit
Bear Hugger 🇨🇦🐻
- Went as Snow White (SO DID I OMGG?? - me)
- Most authentic portrayal of character; dude equipped himself with animals and stuff to make himself look real
- Wifey Lomasi (OC of mine) had to help him put on the dress. She would match him by dressing up as Prince Florian (would love to go as Pocahontas, but didn't want to chafe + wanted to be unique)
- Spruce (his squirrel) dressed up as an apple
- Singing the songs in a very jolly, very off-key manner.
- He's definitely keeping the costume for next year
Great Tiger 🇮🇳🐯
- Dressed up as Jasmine, but he'd really prefer to dress up as Jafar. He's more bonita (this hc was brought to you by ✨️an extremely biased Jafar fangirl✨️)
- His clones dresses up as the other characters, namely Aladdin, the Genie, and the very bonita Jafar
- Jafar Jafar jafar
- Holy frick I love Jafar smmmmm
- Okay back to Great Tiger
- He liked the movie a lot, and thought it was very funny
- Also very content with his outfit! He didn't chafe (hahaha Kaiser-) and it was nice and breezy
- Even fashioned his flying carpet to look like the one from the movie
- Keeping the outfit, but is definitely dressing up as Jafar next year (mmmm my fave boxer + fave Disney character uwu)
Don Flamenco 🇪🇸 🥀
- Dressed up as Sleeping Beauty, aka Aurora (ironic since in my Halloween hcs Carmen was Aurora and Don was Prince Philip lol)
- Carmen dressed up as Maleficent bc she doesn't want to "dress up as a dude" (oh the symbolism)
- Loves all romance stories, and Sleeping Beauty is no different. Dude 100% believes in true, unconditional love
- Joe also loves sleeping beauty, since it's another piece of classic French literature. He's going to see the play version with Joe in about a month lol
- Somehow didn't chafe; it must be his skincare routine
- Got sleepy halfway through the night and went home early
- Carmen stole the dress and isn't giving it back
Aran Ryan 🇮🇪 😈
- VERY against dressing up as Merida (a Scottish character) at first, but slowly grew to love it
- He watched the film, and related to Merida to a T (and so do I lmao)
- Brought a real bow and arrow and definitely shot random people with it (Before Sandy broke it)
- Took off the wig, burned it, and threw it at a random house
- Kept the dress and gifted it to his younger sister, Brooker (Another OC of mine) back in Ireland
Soda Popinski 🇷🇺🍾
- Watched the movie with Kaiser and really liked it! He's a sucker for winter aesthetics
- Researched more information on Elsa and went crazy learning about Elsagate
- Can and will sing "Let it go" if you either ask nicely, pay him, or if your name is Super Macho Man
- Chaffed terrible, ended up crab walking most of the night
- Spent 30% of the night w/Macho Man and king hippo, watching Macho Man do laps
- Also gifted the dress to his sister after Halloween
Bald Bull 🇹🇷 🐂
- Dressed up as Tiana, and doesn't care for it
- Very independent trick or treat night
- Was fine with the movie, but wasn't crazy about it
- A few candy givers complimented him though
- Accidentally ripped his dress late into the evening. Pray to the random group of trick or treaters that got mooned that evening
- Didn't keep the dress
Super Macho Man 🇺🇸🌊
- He's absolutely slaying the little mermaid outfit (he got first pick lol)
- Will not shut up about how he saw the movie in theaters as a kid, and will not shut up about how he knows Jodi Benson lmao
- That being said, it was very hard to move, which meant someone (Soda) had to pull him on a wagon everywhere. Dw, Soda wasn't complaining
- Decided to go to the beach to see if he could swim like a mermaid with the tail on. Yes, he could, and he did it beautifully.
- Soda also joined in his swimming. It wasn't straight at all
Mr. Sandman 💤🟢
- Very itchy dress- it did not accommodate his build at all
- He won't admit it, but he felt very bonita
- Joe started yapping about how lucky Sandman was to be dressing up as such a deep, meaningful character (bro straight up has a hyperfixation for French literature)... Sandy almost clocked him for yapping.
- Ironically had to go home to midnight, not because it was late, but because his glass shoes broke under his weight, and he had to go home and pick shards of glass from his feet
Bonus HC: All of them definitely recreated this scene:
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OG post from @flamingoprincess25 ://www.tumblr.com/flamingoprincess25/765906549064482816/to-the-punch-out-fansmy-halloween-special-is?source=share
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kickassfu ¡ 10 months ago
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love it when ppl only talk to me when they need something 🙏
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skunkes ¡ 10 months ago
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deus-ex-mona ¡ 4 months ago
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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o-uncle-newt ¡ 2 days ago
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I think that the thing is that Sayers a) always has SOME kind of a point if you don't take it too far and b) she's such a good and convincing writer that while you're reading, she can basically convince you of anything just by saying it. I noticed this when reading Unpopular Opinions, her book of essays, which are great but which rely a lot on "I am saying this and making it sound true so it is true, you have to trust my Vibes." And guess what, for a bunch of it I absolutely trusted her Vibes, even after I thought about it for a while with the book closed! She's just a fascinating combination of an incredibly clever and often actually wise person who combined that element of herself with weirdly nostalgically conservative politics. Always SUPER fun. (At some point I need to do my Sayers and the Jews essay but I want to do some reading first.)
The thing with Bunter is that I don't think there's much discrepancy there- the relationship between Wimsey and Bunter where Wimsey treats him somewhat like an equal wouldn't be the same if Bunter didn't already go out of his way to treat him as a superior. Wimsey can make the overtures of semi-equality because he knows that they aren't in equal positions- not in the sense of it being false or rubbing it in, but him also being more sensitive to their class differences because he's aware of them. (Incidentally, I was just reading Clouds of Witness and Wimsey stops Bunter before he can accidentally "forget himself" and insult the Duke's intelligence... as though that would be a step TOO far.) Sayers often returns to this well of "when everyone knows their place in society then everyone is happier," with the corollary being that the place of the aristocracy is to be friendly and condescending (in the non-negative connotation) to the common people and servants in a way that shows that they value them and are looking out for them. In Busman's Honeymoon, she basically has Harriet say this outright and appreciatively about Peter slotting into the role of local squire; and Murder Must Advertise, a book that seriously annoys me as I mentioned earlier, has this scene:
“Well,” said Mr. Smayle, “Tallboy always says that Dumbleton is a public school.” “I daresay it is—in the sense that it has a Board of Governors,” said Ingleby, “but it's nothing to be snobbish about.” “What is, if you come to that?” said Bredon. “Look here, Smayle, if only you people could get it out of your heads that these things matter a damn, you'd be a darn sight happier. You probably got a fifty times better education than I ever did.” Mr. Smayle shook his head. “Oh, no,” he said, “I'm not deceiving myself about that, and I'd give anything to have had the same opportunities as you. There's a difference, and I know there's a difference, and I don't mind admitting it. But what I mean is, some people make you feel it and others don't. I don't feel it when I'm talking to either of you, or to Mr. Armstrong or Mr. Hankin, though you've been to Oxford and Cambridge and all that. Perhaps it's just because you've been to Oxford and Cambridge.” He struggled with the problem, embarrassing the other two men by his wistful eyes. “Look here,” said Miss Meteyard, “I know what you mean. But it's just that these two here never think twice about it. They don't have to. And you don't have to, either. But the minute anybody begins to worry about whether he's as good as the next man, then he starts a sort of uneasy snobbish feeling and makes himself offensive.” “I see,” said Mr. Smayle. “Well, of course, Mr. Hankin doesn't have to try and prove that he's better than me, because he is and we both know it.” “Better isn't the right word, Smayle.” “Well, better educated. You know what I mean.” “Don't worry about it,” said Ingleby. “If I were half as good at my job as you are at yours, I should feel superior to everybody in this tom-fool office.” Mr. Smayle shook his head, but appeared comforted. “I do wish they wouldn't start that kind of thing,” said Ingleby when he had gone, “I don't know what to say to them.” “I thought you were a Socialist, Ingleby,” said Bredon, “it oughtn't to embarrass you.” “So I am a Socialist,” said Ingleby, “but I can't stand this stuff about Old Dumbletonians. If everybody had the same State education, these things wouldn't happen.” “If everybody had the same face,” said Bredon, “there'd be no pretty women.”
To me, this is kind of the summation of Sayers's whole attitude toward class and education as relayed in the books- if you stay where you're meant to be, you're taught the way of dealing with your class and privilege/lack thereof in life, how you're supposed to relate to others, etc. If you socially climb then you end up in uncharted territory where you're a) not meant to be and b) made to feel out of place, which you then end up pushing onto other people, making them feel uncomfortable.
You can kind of see where she and others who look at it so nostalgically like that are coming from- as depicted/essentialized here, part of Wimsey's privilege also meant responsibility for those beneath him, and part of a more "common" person's commonness meant, or should have meant, a sense of security. While MMA goes a lot into anti-consumerism in a way that's hard to deny, in Unpopular Opinions her essays get a lot more into it as a problem in that it destroyed the normal order of work- where instead of having a hundred shoemakers all (apparently) happily making 10 pairs of shoes a day, you have five shoe factory managers and forty-five miserable and overworked employees making two thousand pairs of shoes a day and fifty people without their "proper job." It's a totally different angle on the issue that rings a bit more false when the ideas of both class essentialism and, as you note, bio-essentialism are removed from the picture.
...And of course that's what makes Parker so interesting! On one level, Sayers clearly doesn't believe in an "aristocracy can only marry aristocracy" kind of a thing because Peter marries Harriet- and in fact there's a through line in the books about Gerald and Helen's marriage being a cousin-inbred disaster with Harriet pointing out in Busman's Honeymoon that the injection of common blood into Parker and Mary's marriage made their kids basically normal. So that's not inconsistent. But it's also so interesting that Parker is himself this innately religious, conservative kind of a guy- in many ways more so than Wimsey, who describes him as a "perfect Victorian"- and he himself, in two separate books, is insistent on highlighting the class lines that exist between him and Mary as a barrier between them, with Wimsey essentially having to give him permission to a) have interest and b) later act on it. Though, of course, in the end he actually DOES act because Wimsey suggests that his indecision is making Mary unhappy... so it really is about love and not permission, I suppose!
What's fascinating to me is that at the end of Strong Poison, when Peter is trying to convince Gerald that Parker's suitable for Mary, he makes the point that Parker will climb the ranks and will likely eventually end up with a title/knighted. Obviously, to a degree that's him trying to speak Gerald and Helen's language, where they REALLY care about that kind of thing. But it does I think speak to something else which is that Wimsey and Parker seem to have become friends because Wimsey saw something in Parker and let him in. And I think that your point about Parker kind of earning his way out of the lower/middle class by being not just smart but dedicated and, in his way, intellectual is very solid. It's made clear that he had a decent grammar school education, works to transcend it while also not being pretentious about it, tries to improve his French, reads religious commentaries, is conservative socially... it's like Sayers is drawing a sketch of someone who isn't trying to climb but is trying to be the best of the kind of person who he innately is, while also having the talent to back it up. And THAT is what makes him worthy of Lady Mary. Because, of course, upon marriage she descends to his level in terms of lifestyle and such (even with all that money behind her for their kids later). He's not trying to climb so he's allowed to.
I just re-read Gaudy Night, and it's interesting how it feels very relevant and very dated at the same time. There's so much discussion about a woman's "place" and whether a woman can (or should) still have an intellectual life/job outside her husband if she's married, and it seems like many of the academic women in the story feel on some level that they have to choose one or the other. On the one hand, this debate, again, feels very dated in an era where most women do have jobs regardless of whether they're married or not. On the other hand, women still are frequently expected to put their families before their jobs, while men are usually not; and women are still frequently expected to sacrifice their own careers and interests for the sake of their families, while men are usually not.
The "question" of whether women belong in academia no longer seems to be a question in mainstream culture, but women in academia still don't get the same amount of respect or opportunities as men. And while British and American society no longer demands that unmarried women remain celibate, I think there is still a great deal of discomfort at the idea of women who choose to remain single, and with the idea of voluntary celibacy in general.
It's also interesting that the Senior Members of the college (all women) seem to more or less jump to the conclusion that the college "poltergeist" is expressing some kind of psycho-sexual frustration born of celibacy and academic isolation, when in fact it's someone seeking revenge. It seems like even though these women have been in academia/running the college for decades, they still harbor some insecurity over the legitimacy of their profession and lifestyle.
And then, of course, there are the casual mentions of eugenics and the one woman who thinks execution is wrong and that murderers should be used for scientific experiments instead (because that's more humane somehow??). There's also the instance where one of the porters (who is otherwise very likeable) says that Britain needs "a Hitler" who will put women in their proper place. Interesting times...
Idk, Gaudy Night fascinates me because there's SO MUCH going on in it that even on my second read, I think there's a lot that I'm probably missing. The various philosophical debates in it make me really curious about what Dorothy Sayers' own views were.
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betweenblackberrybranches ¡ 1 year ago
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I just need to rant for a second :)
Screaming into the void please dont judge me
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devotedlystrangewizard ¡ 10 months ago
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totk really is one of those games that make me go "ok thanks for the characters, setting, and general plot, but ill take it from here <3" because the entire historical timeline had so much potential for interesting and nuanced story telling but they just went with the old zelda story formula and YES thats how theyve always done it but botw was such a reset in terms of gameplay that they couldve overhauled how they handle story in totk. but they didnt
#ramblings#all the races swearing fealty to rauru made me so uncomfortable#like yeahhh ganondorf evil or whatever but also. hey. why is the one leader fighting for the independence of his people. the evil villain#am i just not getting something here am i insane#my first thought when i heard about ganondorf returning was 'wow they could turn him into an actual character' AND THEN THEY DIDNT#its been half a year i feel like the honeymoon period is over. totk was kinda mid. im sorry#it was alright but it just. didnt grab me. at all#botw was interesting because it was new but totk made me yearn for the older zelda formula#though tbh. im always yearning for the older zelda formula. i grew up on oot & twilight princess#you hype up ganondorf so much you make him look like THAT (no im still not over this) and then you just. do what weve always done#this happened in twilight princess. it happened in oot. it happened in ww. hell if you count demise it happened in skyward sword#IT HAPPENE.D IN THE FUCKING HYRULD WARRIORS SPINOFF#'oooh noooo the great evil has returned' WEVE BEEN HERE EVERY TIME. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POTENTIAL#heres the gerudo having a man born and making him king as is their custom but they spend years in fear that he will be monstrous#here they are after all these iterations of ganondorf afraid to even have kids out of fear that SOMEONE will bring the new great evil#heres a child recently given the throne despite being barely more than a baby always treated with fear by everyone around him#ARE YOU SEEING MY VISION????#the curse is right there. do something with it. oh my god#i KNOW zelda games are just simple heros journeys but pleaseeee i need food#you dont have to make ganondorf nice just. do something with him im so tired of the evil guy caricature#i like guys who are plain evil but i like them more when they have some fucked up motivation beyond taking over the world
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the-best-bagel ¡ 1 month ago
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Ooku is so close to having something cool to say about gender but the second i think they might do it they curve me and have the unwell crossdressing lady's happy ending be becoming traditionally feminine and submissive to her husband who became assertive and traditionally masculine.
#the jury is still out but. im skeptical#im on ep 5 and for the last few eps the focus has been a kind of effeminate monk getting like. force masced to be a breeer for the shogun#who is a girl forced to take on her fathers name and masculine role. then raped and impregnated at 14#then the baby dies and shes back to being masc. she doesnt even have a name bc her sole role is to be her father until she can birth an heir#which is very thematically juicy!!! and she is abusive in the exact same ways you'd expect of a patriarchal ruler!#and then she forces ex-monk guy whose been mascing up to dress as a woman for her amusement#which then culminates in him draping her in women's clothing and embracing her#which is very thematically loaded!!#and had me very hopeful! but then he's shitless and built after a timeskip doing very traditionally masculine shit#and visiting the shogun who now wears womens clothing and constantly asking him if she's displeasing him#which like. there's 5 episodes left they could do something with this. its clear the lady shogun is still fucked in the head#and her grandma who did all the identity stripping and treating ppl like broodstock is still bitching that she's not pregnant#but will they stick the landing??? idk if i trust the writers man#also just on a petty personal note they ruined my insane masc blorbo. shes not killing ppl anymore >:(#im gonna continue watching tomorrow but my hopes are low#might have to rewatch utena after this#cant believe i forreal thought Ooku was gonna do some “escaping the cycle of patriarchal violence and gender” with a het couple#in my defense they have a great setup for it 😔#who knows maybe ill be surprised
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tovaicas ¡ 6 months ago
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some of the threads probably could've been handled better but as a whole I love alphinaud's HW character arc so much
#saint.txt#spoilers#major spoilers#ishgardposting#long post#in tags#the reason him being the mouthpiece for ish.gard at zenith annoys me so much is not just bc he robs esti.nien of a much-needed moment#but also bc alphi.naud should not be seeing himself in the ishg.ardians. he should be seeing himself in the *vault.*#HW spends most of its runtime explicitly forcing alphi.naud to see for himself the real actual cost of war after an entire series#of patches where he has played with soldier's lives like they're distant toys or tools and even then doesn't fully conceptualize it#until esti.nien extremely bluntly tells him he's sending someone he cares about into mortal peril like he's asking them to go to the store#as much as I hate it HW through sohm al directly challenges him bc he just blindly follows the ishg.ardian assumption that all#drav.anians are vicious and violent monsters hellbent on destroying poor innocent ish.gard and in his own complacency#he has directly participated in perpetuating the violence and war crimes committed against the drav.anians.#I don't want alphi.naud standing in for esti.nien to relay how badly the vault has betrayed its people#I want alphi.naud's threads to line up and for him to have a genuine realization that he has done a horrific act of violence to an innocent#party and have to struggle with what this means for his sense of self. He killed dragons in sohm al and justified it as self-defense.#alphi.naud should stand there at zenith and for all his conviction realize that he sees himself in the vault. bc he has directly sent#soldiers and friends who trusted him directly to their deaths with a flick of his wrist while he sat nice and safe from on high#nice and safe and protected from the realities of his violence / and perpetuated a great act of evil bc of his own complacency.#that he treats someone he cares abt more like a tool and never considers there is a real chance that for every battle he sends them into#they might never walk out of again - just as the vault sends scores of dragoons and knights to die needless deaths against dragons#and he only realizes this fact once someone else very well-acquainted with the cost of war points it out to him#HW's threads of 'you do not need to be intentionally evil or an asshole to perpetuate evil acts' is so good
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vaugarde ¡ 2 years ago
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havent read tbc but i think its so funny how shadowsight seems to be popular to the people i follow just because “the narrative treats him like all the female characters do so hes an honorary girlie”
#and by ''how the narrative treats him'' they mean badly ofc bc apparently everything is blamed on him repeatedly#w no one realizing that he was manipulated and the narrative being retconned just to say hes actually a screwup who was never good#and everything genuinely is his fault bc why else would he listen to an evil cat in starclan#like. damn that really is something theyd do to a female protagonist#also the only ppl ive seen hating on him do it for boring and stupid reasons so im inclined to like him out of spite#bc ''he has an ILLEGAL name in this universe. hes a TIGERDOVE kid. hes a FANFICTION made REAL'' ok well hes the most interesting one. so.#not like anything he actually does in the narrative it seems. plus the other two protags sound boring as hell#''oh im sad i couldnt get w the boy i like. now i love another guy but its forbidden. oh and my leaders possessed ig.''#''SIGH i wish people didnt compare me to my cringe OUTSIDER dad. also i see ghosts and i hate this its cringe''#''also my sister is a legacy name after an important character from the previous arc but who cares''#and then shadowsight is like ''since i was an infant i had excruiciating seizures and visions. i threw myself into a river as a sacrifice#i am suicidal. i got manipulated by an evil man into possessing my great uncle. everyone outwardly wants me dead for it#everyone blames all of their problems on me and expects a lot from me. i got demoted for it. my only support is my close family#and even then they have to suffer the extreme guilt of not being able to help me with literally anything#also the antagonist wants my mom dead for my own existence. i have lost so much#i am literally blamed by god for everything thats happened to be despite being used by them since i was an infant and thats where my story e#ends''#like fuck. yeah he is an honorary girlie to me. i barely know u man but like i support u. cmere be my pet cat#echoed voice
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guinevereslancelot ¡ 2 years ago
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i've said it before but shoutout to the teen wolf fandom for continuing to produce banger gifsets regularly as if the show never ended you guys are so talented and beautiful and iconic for that <3
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burnthybread ¡ 3 months ago
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>tried to be ultimate good friend by never talking to ky friends abt my issues because they were too extreme
>now have no one who cares
#this is ENTIRELY my fault#even if they wouldnt have listened to me no matter what i sure couldve sussed that faster and eventually found people who would#sorryy im just after seeing debs pics from people in primary and feel awful upset now that 1) im not going#(self sabotage + insecurity + the whole suicide mindset i still have + no way in fuck would my parents. yeah)#and 2) just not supplementing it w anything ☹️☹️ my friends get to celebrate and be celebrated the world over for doing their leaving +#graduating. its just me and my dear friend not going#i made a vent art thing ages ago abt that NEVERRR to post i would never. but just how neither of us are going debs#but her family wouldve killed to have her go and now she never can. and how im not going out of choice#and how awful i am for not taking opportunity while im alive and shes not#but. nothing will ever like make me feel happy. as im learning#this summer has really been me coming to terms w the fact i do have depression and just will never be ‘happy’ as a default#will never. be able to do things#im Sick is what i am. its lit a sickness#and treating it likethat instead of fighting it might unfortunately be the realistic and rational and best way forward#which is very embarrassing for me and so hard to accept because ive always been a Fi. no i Was a fighter#and then she passed away i just crumbled lol. im still not half the person i used be#i used likeeee strive for greatness. because its all i could do and i had to fight for a better life as a gay person as someone w a rough#fam. but then she died and nooothing was ever worth it again. whats the point if people can just die so suddenly#she deserved so so so much. the world like#sorry debs just makes me think of her. of course it would like#.. can i hust be evil now and say i wish my friends wouldve. wanted me to come#THEYRE NOT MY FRIENDS ! i have this sorted. this has been established.#i need ro get over that. or rathee have them stop coming to ky mind#im talking
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dredshirtroberts ¡ 5 months ago
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y'know that post that's like everyone's got their special super power or whatever, it might just look a little different from the super hero movies? right?
yeah my bio family's version of that is Impeccably Bad Timing
#well i *was* excited for a meet up tomorrow#and i still am don't get me wrong it's just#slightly tainted currently by the fact that my family just...#trying to explain to my sister where i'm at with our parents feels like a hopeless endeavor and i just really do not feel like hashing it o#at 10pm on a Monday when the purpose of her reaching out was to give me the information i might need about grandpa's funeral#which i have already decided i will not be attending but i acknowledge that i did not notify my dad of receipt of his messages#and therefore he has no idea if i even got the relevant information he was trying to do the right thing and give me#even if he did it stupid and bad#i'm...frustrated by the situation i've ended up in and i know about half of it *is* my fault (the breakdown of it could have gone better an#i was the only person in charge of breaking things down between me and my parents)#but like... i don't want to be in this position in the first place where i'm having to cut my parents off because they're shitty people#like... id on't know if they think maybe i *like* doing this to the family but i don't#i do like not having them around but i don't like that i don't want them around if that makes any fucking sense#and i STILL cannot be sad about grandpa only because it's ALL THE OTHER JUNK TOO#like she's not innocent let me not paint her as a good communicator here#she also added in things between the lines i don't appreciate her doing because it makes the outreach feel shitty#and like i know i know i've gone completely dark after this and no i'm not actually doing that great now that grandpa's dead#like that still sucks really hard and pip hasn't super really processed it yet and it's going to hurt when she gets there and i'm not ready#for that yet and now i have a Nice Thing to look forward to and i have Nice People around me and all i want to do is just Have A Good Time#but i know i've been quiet i know i haven't reached out like i'm supposed to i know#but also... stop badgering me about it - i know. i know what i'm supposed to do they all treat me like i'm not doing it because i forgot#I WENT TO ETIQUETTE CLASSES I KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO#i'm either deliberately not doing it on purpose or i'm not doing it because I *can't* yet.#i can't talk to my grandma on the phone i can't do that absolutely not#i'm trying to work up to a *text message* or an *email* which is not in any way nearly the right thing to do#but like. it's all i've got and i can't give her *nothing* but i don't... have anything to give her outside of a condolences text message#because i don't even know where i'm at about it yet BECAUSE MY GODDAMN PARENTS AND SISTER KEEP BUTTING IN AND NOT LETTING ME PROCESS#i get it i get that they're probably worried i know i know i'm the asshole here#i get it#but also i am not their concern anymore they all washed their hands of me when i was nearby
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