#and hard 2 draw 4 some reason????

[protagonist-art]

i started rise... it was bound 2 happen </3

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than flooding

Big fat combat trick to pump all your excess mana into!

Cards used as example for balancing the modes:

[fuctacles]

Under pressure

For @subeddieweek Day 1 | M | 1177 | accidental subspace, non-verbal communication, sleepover, Steve-instinctive-Dom-Harrington | Ao3 Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Ao3

Eddie avoided fights because he was a coward. A pussy, even, he'll admit. But there was a whole other reason for him avoiding sports.

He wasn't a big fan of physical contact. 

But since he's become better friends with Steve Harrington, he's been discovering things about himself. Things he wished would have stayed hidden. Forever.

The first time, it was a tussle for the remote. Eddie refused to watch another episode of whatever the fuck capitalist media was trying to spoon-feed them, while Steve was adamant there was a plot that he was invested in. One elbow to the gut and some pulled hair later, he landed underneath the guy, his weight pinning him to the ground.

Melting his bones.

Soothing.

"You okay?"

Steve sounded concerned about Eddie's sudden silence, and his mind scrambled to salvage his dignity. All he could manage was a groan, which Steve thankfully interpreted as a sign of pain and not the sudden weakness that it was. 

He instantly hopped off of him, apologizing.

Eddie has been avoiding and yearning for the touch ever since.

He had never considered Steve like that, but apparently being sat on was the biggest turn-on for his poor little dick, and now it was all he could think of at night.

His doom comes when he has to sleep over after a night of drinking. Steve insisted they share a bed, that it was alright, and Eddie foolishly believed him. 

It is fine until Steve rolls over to put away his glasses. 

"Shit, sorry. I just gotta..."

They didn't think this through, because Eddie was the one next to the bedside table, the one Steve was trying to reach. He almost crawls over Eddie to accomplish it, his weight heavy on top of him, pressing him to the mattress and making his mind go blank. 

He bites his lip so hard he probably draws blood, but it doesn't stop the whimper Steve's body literally pushed out of him.  Steve freezes. 

"Are you alright?" He drops the glasses and shoots up. "Did I hurt you?"

Eddie can't answer. His brain is screaming at his mouth, but he can't manage a single word, all he can think of is Steve's body back on him, that weight pressing him down, immobilizing him. He could probably reach pure bliss with just that.

When he doesn't get an answer, Steve pulls on his shoulder to flip him on his back. Eddie whines in protest but doesn't have enough control over his muscles to stop him. His shame gets put on display and Steve's eyes widen.

"Eddie?"

His pupils are huge as he blinks owlishly up at his friend.

"You okay?"

Eddie nods.

"Do you need anything?"

You. On me, against me, in me.

He shakes his head slowly, not breaking eye contact. This seems to frustrate Steve.

"Eddie, come on," he groans. "Clearly something's wrong. Do you need water? I can bring you some." He moves to stand up, but Eddie's in the way. He has to throw his leg over him, and Eddie presses his eyes closed, begging his body not to react.

It's enough to alert Steve, though, and he freezes hovering above him, mid-movement. 

"Huh."

It's a soft sound, barely there, and Eddie decides to keep his eyes closed. Maybe if he does, whatever realization Steve has gets forgotten, and he moves on, brings him the damn water, and maybe throws it on him like on a horny dog. Maybe that would help him.

But no, the ‘huh’ is followed by Steve settling down on his hips.

Oxygen escapes him in a whiny breath, and his body presses up without his control, seeking that delicious weight of another body. 

"Want to make out about it?" Steve asks out of the blue like any normal person would in these circumstances. But Eddie doesn't answer him, he can't, and he doesn't know. He can only stare and writhe under him, making tiny sounds of need he can't comprehend. Steve frowns down on him, partially concerned, partially curious. 

"Don't feel like talking?" he asks. Eddie gives him a nod. He hums. "Can you answer some yes or no questions? Nod for a yes and shake your head for no."

Nod.

"You can blink twice if you don't know or don't want to answer. Okay?"

Nod.

"What do you do if you don't want to answer?"

Eddie blinks twice.

"Good. Great." Steve smiles, and Eddie mirrors it through his haze. "Are you feeling alright?"

Nod.

"Do you need water?"

Shake.

"Do you need the bathroom?"

Shake.

"A snack?"

Shake.

Steve considers him, perched on top of his body. Eddie tentatively reaches up, palms resting on his thighs. Steve's gaze follows his fingers, where they just rest with no ill intent, only there to touch.

"Will we talk about it more in the morning?"

Eddie hesitates. Does he want to talk about it? To bring his shame to the light of day, confess the budding crush on his friend? But Steve doesn't seem angry, he's not kicking him out of the bed. He's being soft and gentle and trying to understand. Maybe in the morning, they could understand it together. Tentatively, he nods.

That eases Steve's frown a bit, but he sighs when another problem hits him.

"I don't know what else to ask," he admits with a huff. 

Eddie wants to help, so he slides his hands up, towards his hips, and tries to convey as best as possible where he wants him. He stares into his eyes, begging him to understand.

"Want me to lay down on you?"

He nods furiously, excited to get what he needs. 

Steve looks down. It's a minuscule movement of his eyes, but it's there. He will know if Eddie's hard when he moves, but he needs the heads-up. The bulge in Eddie's sweats is noticeable but not fully there, to Steve's relief. Having his friend under him in such a pliant state is already overwhelming as it is, and he knows Eddie will feel his own chub when he moves. 

"We're just sleeping tonight, alright?" Steve clarifies and Eddie nods without hesitation. "And cuddle a bit, I guess." Eddie nods again.

He moves, watching his friend’s face for any sign of distress. Eddie’s hands slide around him in an embrace that's more comforting than Steve's ready to admit, and soon they're chest to chest, legs tangled, and he has to crane his neck to maintain eye contact.

"That alright?"

Nod.

Eddie's hands squeeze him minutely and Steve settles down against his shoulder, finally resting his full body weight against him.

The man underneath him sighs, and it's like his whole body deflates. He makes a content sound in the back of his throat, and Steve wants to cry. It's so endearing and so comforting to have Eddie trust him like that. To have him turn into mush in his presence. 

He hopes he's not overstepping when he presses his nose to Eddie's neck, inhaling him and softly caressing his skin when he murmurs a "goodnight, Eds."

[inf3ct3dd]

ellie headcanons ..!

warnings : literally none, perfectly sfw 😍😍

content: loser!ellie x reader, more ellie-focused than relationship focused (sorryyyy 😞😞)

authors note: i’ve literally never done headcanons omg 😓 this is js my random ramblings 🔥🔥🔥

pt. 2 ! taglist!!!! masterlist!!

- send you an excessive amount of reels. every 5 seconds. cute cats, random facts about space, stuff she thinks is funny, it all goes to you.

- definitely had a “rock collection” when she was little, but she was so ???? excessive with it??? like every time she saw a rock she picked it up. she walked so weird bc her pockets were just FULL OF ROCKS.

- also, was literally the grimiest kid ever. playing in ROLLING IN the mud, going snail hunting when it rained!!! she was the kid that would go in the bushes and mess w rolly pollies all the time for NO REASON.

- is weirdly good at fishing?? joel took her all the time, and shes a self proclaimed “fishing master”

- WAYYY clumsy. always running into a wall, tripping on air, or missing steps on the stairs (smh its cuz of that damn phone 😒😒)

- im so into the whole “adam sandler” fits cuz its so true. esp during the summer, its some stupid t shirt that says “master baiter” and a pair of old basketball shorts.

- speaking of t shirts, she’s def the type to own an absurd amount of dumb t shirts.

- gets all her clothes from like, walmart and goodwill. she does not CARE!!!

- cuts her own hair too 🤞🏽🤞🏽 shes soooo self sufficient 😍😍😍

- bites. she is such a biter.

- speaking of, i feel like she js has to have something in her mouth constantly. gum, random pieces of plastic, bottle caps, pens, anything 😞

- speaking of mouths (wow sierra so many connections!!!) she def had braces , but she hates wearing her retainer so her teeth are like ever-so-slightly fucked up

- is AMAZING at committing to the bit. she will drag it for DAYSSS if you don’t tell her to stop. once did a (awful) british accent for 4 days until you threw something at her and told her to shut the fuck up

- definitely not shy, just kind of…odd. she’ll talk to anyone that talks to her, she just doesn’t really approach people.

- weird obsession with pickles. has a pickle stuffed animal with a mustache and glasses that she bought from goodwill

- hangs up so much stuff on her walls!!!! tickets, old notes, cards, pictures of people, drawings, old tickets, literally anything she thinks looks cool

- obsessed with rollercoasters!!! she took you to the fair for your first date

- also like- very good at fair games. she’s so cocky about it too, you’ll go home with like 20 stuffed animals she won for you and she’ll carry ALL OF THEM with the stupidest smile on her face

- wears all of joels old contractor-workwear clothes during the colder months

- trys so hard to be “mysterious” but she’s never actually doing anything so she just does stuff like not telling you what movie she’s watching or what she’s eating

- also just texts you 24-7!!! like every time she’s doing something she’s like “i made a quesadilla” “i went to the store” “i took a shower” she just looooves keeping you updated

- tries to raise one eyebrow but ends up just squinting one eye. so funny 😞😞

- really good at solving rubix cubes???

- definitely had a fuck ass bob at one point

- GLASSES. that is all. glasses.

- listens to so much dad rock, midwest emo, indie, she LOVES male manipulator music!! but like she isn’t like thatttt shes so niceeee 😞😞

- mostly calls you babe/baby, she’ll call you really dumb pet names as a joke like “pookie” 😭😭

[sendpseuds]

Prompt: Anakin plays Fuck, Marry, Kill with the Clones or someone else when his Master comes in.

“Fuck, marry, kill: Ventress, Dooku, Greivous.”

“Oh screw you,” Rex groans, his head falling back, eyes squeezed shut like he can erase the question from his mind if he tries hard enough, “That’s horrible.”

“That is the point of the game, Captain.”

Anakin and the handful of clones around the table chuckle mischievously at the horrified look of obvious annoyance on Rex’s face, prodding him with playful elbows and a teasing stream of “Come on, who’s it gonna be? You have to answer!”

Laughter flows easily tonight, still a few days travel away from their next engagement, enjoying the calm comfort of companionship and Waxer’s homebrew [well, Anakin is not entirely certain it could reasonably be described as enjoyable but it certainly is potent.]

“Kill Greivous,” Rex says with an almost sober certainty, “That spider freak gives me the creeps.”

There’s a general hum of agreement around the table before Rex continues.

“I guess marry Dooku? Hope the old man croaks immediately after the wedding?”

“So you’re fucking the witch?”

“Guess so,” Rex shrugs as a few other clones mutter that they wouldn’t exactly mind taking the sith assassin for a ride.

“Your turn, General” someone announces, a chorus of “Ooooo”s sounding from all around him.

“Alright,” Anakin replies coolly, folding his arms over his chest and sitting back in his chair, “Hit me with it.”

Rex hums consideringly, drawing out the prompting question of “Fuck, marry, kill,” like he’s trying to come up with the most horrifying combination possible and Anakin only narrows his gaze.

“Master Yoda—“

“You bastard,” Anakin scoffs before the grand master’s entire name has even leaves his captain's mouth.

“Master Jocasta Nu—“

“I could have you demoted, you know.”

“And—“

The word seems to stretch on forever as Rex’s eyes dart around the room, trying to decide on the final name in his torturous trilogy. Then his eyes brows shoot up, his eyes widening over Anakin’s shoulder.

“General Kenobi!”

Anakin’s heart lurches, a hot twisting in his gut at the mere suggestion that he could ever kill Obi-Wan. Then at the thought of fucking him. Marrying him.

“Okay, hold on, I need some clarification,” Anakin blurts out, the brew in his blood loosening his lips, “If you marry someone, you can fuck them whenever you want, right?”

Rex doesn’t seem to understand the question, or maybe he’s had one glass too many, his eyes glazed and face gone a bit ashen.

“Like, it doesn’t have to be a sexless marriage, does it?”

“Uh, sir— General Kenobi is—“

“Amazing? Yeah, I know. He’d be the perfect husband but if I had to wake up every morning to that man in my bed and couldn’t fuck him—“

Behind him, someone clears their throat and suddenly Anakin realizes not a single clone is looking at him.

“Well, I’m glad to hear you wouldn’t kill me.”

[1][2][3][4]

[meowshark12]

i know it won't work (rc)(4)

series summary: you're best friends with topper, kelce, and rafe. it has never bothered you to see them with other girls, knowing that they usually only have flings, but, when rafe gets what appears to be a girlfriend, how does this change things?

(not canon)rafe x kook!reader, original characters

chapter 4 summary: day on the boat. another party. jealousy. do our protagonists finally become aware??

warnings: some violence kinda not really graphic tho

1 2 3 4

6.2k words OOPS SORRY

not very proofread toward the bottom. hope you like it though.

chapter 4: the druthers

You step on to the boat, the familiar feeling of the ebb and flow of the waves already lulling you into a false sense of comfort. You're greeted by Rafe with a "Hey," and a small smile and by Amber with a look that you can't exactly decipher. You ignore her, but you don't miss how his eyes dart away from you after his glance lingers for a second too long.

"Hey guys!! Who wants a drink?" Kelce announces as he is the last one to step foot on the boat. He always has known how to break the tension quite well. The awkwardness is forgotten as you all greet Kelce and begin to make yourselves comfortable on the familiar yacht you have embarked. You give Kelce a quick hug and he hands you your favorite drink, already prepared for you.

Your boys were always attentive to you, Stella, and Macey. Always remembering your favorite drinks, knowing the most obscure things about you (your obsession with your favorite animal, Macey's lego collection, and why Stella loved crab rangoons so much), and making sure to be friendly with and respected by your parents. Though none of you had ever pursued any of the others, you knew there had to be small crushes that each person had but chose to bury.

Macey was the most obvious about it, pining after Topper without a care in the world. She would always say it was a joke, but, when he started dating Sarah, she was more than joking with how upset she was. Topper liked the attention and would probably get with her if she made the first move, and only if there would be no consequences.

Everyone loves Stella. She's the most beautiful and down to earth girl. She was the mediator of your friend group, almost impossible not to love her. Stella had never mentioned it, but you could tell that she liked the attention that Kelce gave her. He liked her too (obviously), though he tried to hide the blush that creeped up his neck when she gave him various compliments or when her touch lingered too long.

Rafe was always the toughest to crack. Though he took the most comfort in you, telling you about his family and other things that he didn't even tell the boys, it was always hard to tell what Rafe was thinking.

You had never had a favorite, though you seemed to always gravitate more toward Rafe. Maybe it was something about his looks, his captivating blue eyes and effortless handsomeness drawing you in. Or maybe it was the way he seemed to need you sometimes, not opening up to anyone but you, calling you whenever he just needed someone to talk to. But you felt like you treated all the boys equally.

None of the boys had ever seemed to crush on you.

This is not to say you aren't enchantingly beautiful. The boys are your best friends, but they were first pulled in by your beauty and charming personality. The main reason Rafe and Kelce wanted Topper to bring you (and your friends) along was because they wanted to know why such a gorgeous girl wanted to hang around Topper. But, you had never noticed anyone reacting to you the way they did to others. Although this didn't hurt your feelings. You were glad to have such good friends, and it wasn't like you felt that you were missing something.

Last summer, the Druthers was your group's favorite spot to hangout during the hot summer days where you found yourselves in need of some entertainment. Kelce would always suggest taking a dip in your pool (which you had all done millions of times before), but Rafe had managed to save you from hosting many times by coaxing Kelce onto the Druthers with a beer in hand and the promise of free beer and food all day long.

Since Ward was away for most of last summer, you spent most of your time on that boat, laying out, swimming, drinking, napping, dancing, partying, etc. You name it, it probably happened on that boat.

Your favorite memory of the Druthers was the day it started storming out of nowhere. Nobody had checked the weather, anticipating that the day would be as sunny as it was long. But, the 6 of you were mid-dip in the water when the storm clouds on the horizon began rolling in faster than you had thought possible.

Before you knew it, the sky was black and it was pouring down rain right on you and your friends who were still in the water.

Instead of getting out, you began laughing and floated on your back, letting the rain water cascade over your body to disappear in the water beneath you. Soon after, your other friends joined you, all enjoying the rain, until the thunder struck.

When you heard the thunder, the six of you raced back to the boat (Kelce won) and hurried to get under the cover.

Your bag was the only one left out on the deck and your belongings were already soaked. You decide to enjoy the feeling of the rain, since your dry clothes and towel were already wet and there was no saving them, but Rafe comes over to you after a few minutes and drags you to the covered portion of the yacht.

"What the hell were you doing out there??" he asks bewildered. Water hangs on to his features, tracing lines over the contours of his face.

"Sorry! All my stuff was wet and I wouldn't have a towel, so I figured I would appreciate the rain! We haven't gotten rain all summer." you explain, still dripping wet and clad in your swimsuit, feeling self conscious as those around you are already covered by their towels. You cross your arms around yourself.

"Oh my god, yn. You're something else..." he trails off, laughing slightly and pinching the bridge of his nose before he speaks again. "You know Rose stocks this thing with like a million towels, right?" he pauses, then says, "c'mon, I'll get you one"

You follow behind him down the hallway, the boat rocking and causing your wet feet to slip slightly on the tile floor. Rafe stops in front of a closet, and, sure enough, it was full to the brim with expensive, monogrammed towels. He hands you one.

"Thank you," you say, looking up at him. "I'm sorry... you really didn't have to come get me. I would've been fine and come in eventually." you begin to explain while wrapping the towel around your shaking shoulders.

"It's fine, yn..." he begins, "I just didn't want you to freeze to death, or slip and fall and hit your head... or... I don't know, I was just worried about you and I don't want to be the one in charge if something bad happens to you." he finishes, looking somewhat distraught as he looks back into your eyes.

"Rafe." you say, and he couldn't be more attentive if he tried, "I promise, I would've been fine. I was on my way back in when you came to get me anyway." you lie with a smile. At this, he nods and looks into your eyes, the light reflecting just right to make them hold onto his attention more than ever before. You're basically having a staring contest at this point, for nobody has spoken in almost a minute.

His gaze trails over the rest of your face, and he notices that you're still trembling and your lips are a shade of purple.

"Okay, fine. Just come with me" he finally says, and you follow him down to one of the bedrooms on the boat. The bedroom was clearly his, resembling the one he had at Tanneyhill quite well and the pictures on the wall were a dead giveaway. He goes into a drawer and pulls out a pair of gray sweatpants, a pair of socks, and an old UNC hoodie, one that you haven't seen since the first few times you met Rafe. "Change into this."

"Rafe, it's fine." you protest, but he cuts you off.

"No, yn." he shoves the clothes into your arms. "Your clothes are soaked and I can't have you getting hypothermia on me. Just change and come upstairs." He says, and with that he leaves the room.

After you change, you head back up to where your friends are gathered, still drinking and carrying on. The rain clearly did not affect their high spirits.

"There you are!" says Stella. "Nice outfit. We are trying to get the tv to work but Rafe must be poor or something and his Netflix won't work out here." she explains, making a jab at Rafe.

"Hey, hey, okay give me the remote and I'll get it to work." Rafe comes to his own defense and the rest of you laugh.

You sit down next to Kelce, and Topper comes over to you with a drink in each hand, one for you of course. You quietly thank him before he leaves to sit in a chair, and you begin listening in on the conversation that Stella, Macey, and Kelce are having ('is water wet?' like Kelce starts it bc you were just rained on in water and he's like 'but does that mean the water is now wet' and the girls are like 'ur dumb').

You're sat on the large couch with Kelce, while Stella and Macey share a smaller one. Topper is in a chair across from the girls. Rafe stands in front of you all, trying to fix the tv. As the conversation dies down, the focus is turned to Rafe.

He is clearly not making any progress, as he turns the tv off and puts the remote on the table, announcing "we don't talk enough, lets not watch tv and just talk to each other for once!" and he sits next to you on the couch.

The events of today are already not beginning to mirror your favorite day on the Druthers.

For one thing, there are seven of you. An odd number, always leaving someone out. For another thing, Rafe was totally preoccupied by Amber, leaving the five of you to wonder why you were on his boat in the first place.

The five of you sat on the deck, lounging and each of you with a drink in your hand. Rafe and Amber were inside, doing God only knows what.

You lay sprawled out, your legs over Toppers lap as he sat up beside you. Kelce mirrored Topper on your other side, his sunglasses on and arms on either side of the boat behind him. Stella was engrossed in her book and her vodka cran, and Macey sat next to Topper with her legs out on a table, nursing her beer. The five of you were quiet, enjoying each others company, yet still somehow on edge because of the presence of a plus-one.

Almost an hour passes before one of you speaks.

"Why aren't we swimming?" Topper says after finishing his third beer. Your ears perk up at this, excited at the idea of getting into the water.

"I'm down," Kelce says, to which you all agree. By the time you all are ready to get in the water, Rafe and Amber appear out of thin air, ready to swim right along side you.

Rafe is on your right, Amber to his right, as you are preparing to jump off the boat.

"Going swimming without me?" he teases, but you aren't in the mood for his antics right now.

"Didn't think you'd ever come back outside," you say, and you follow your words with a swift dive under the surface of the cool water beneath you.

The rest of your friends (Topper, Kelce, and your girls) jump in after you, not totally sure what you had responded to Rafe, but excited to swim nonetheless.

You look up to see Rafe and Amber staring at you from the deck, but you begin to float on your back before you can find it in you to care that she's here. The five of you swim around for a few minutes before they coming wading over to you.

"Oh, look who decided to join us," Macey mumbles to nobody in particular. You stifle a laugh, not wanting to draw attention to yourselves.

The seven of you swim for a while with no issues, other than Amber clinging to Rafe like she had never been in water higher than her knees. Stella is the first to go back on to the boat after about 30 minutes, and the rest of you follow.

You are on the deck, drying off, when you hear Amber complain. "Rafey, my shirt is all wet, I can't wear this!!" she cries to Rafe. The nickname is new.

You shoot a look to your friends. "Rafey?" you mouth to Macey. She rolls her eyes.

Rafe looks at you and your friends before he looks back to her.

"Why don't you just wear your bathing suit top for a while? We aren't leaving any time soon," he suggests, knowing that the five of you (just the boys to his face) would make fun of him endlessly for giving a girl his clothes.

"Ugh, no. I'm not doing that. I don't do my 10-step skincare routine just to get sunburnt." she replies, which you had to admit was a somewhat valid point. But, as she holds her shirt in her had, you notice that it is mostly dry.

"Fine," Rafe says, "follow me," and they go upstairs.

When they return, Amber is wearing Rafe's UNC sweatshirt.

--

While on the boat together, the four of you were told by Topper that there would be a boneyard party tonight. You all agreed to have Topper drive there in his Jeep, bringing you five.

So, you and your girls got together at Stella's house after to get ready and pregame (though, to be honest, you were still buzzed from earlier).

Stella let you borrow a top of hers, a pretty, lacey top that was the perfect color on your skin tone and fit you like a glove, while you wore a pair of jean shorts and sandals.

The three of you were buzzing with excitement. Boneyard parties included all sides of the island, including hot pogues and hot tourons. You all needed to branch out sometimes, which was why the boneyard parties (usually only around once or twice a summer) were the best.

It was around 9pm when Macey gets a call from Topper, assuming they are on their way. She picks it up.

"Hey, you on your way?" she asks, though the question was rather rhetorical.

"...about that..." Topper trails, one hand on the wheel, the other holding his phone. Macey puts the call on speaker.

"what the fuck do you mean 'about that' Top? You're on your way, aren't you?" she asks, still thinking he's joking.

"So basically... well, I guess that you could say," he begins again before he is interrupted by another voice.

"Is that yn?" the voice says, "Give me the phone" and before you know it, you were talking to Rafe.

"YN! Hey, so, Top wanted to give me and Amber a ride, so there's no more room in the car with the four of us, so you and Stels and Mace are gonna have to find another way there, kay?" he says in a drunken ramble and you hear Topper protest on the other end. The three of you were seething.

"Rafe. Give the phone back to Topper." Macey says.

"Kay, don't be mad, see you later bye" he finishes, clearly happy with how he delivered the news.

"Topper what the fuck is wrong with you??" Macey nearly yells.

As Topper begins to defend himself, you pull out your phone to start texting other people to give you a ride. Your phone hovers over the name, but you find yourself mad enough at the boys that you quickly type out a message and hit send anyway.

Before you know it, you're sat in the passenger seat of John Townsends Audi convertible on your way to the boneyard. Your girls are behind you in the backseat, and you are nearly there.

"Thanks again for taking us," you say to John with a small smile. He pulls in to the parking lot of the beach. He looks over at you.

"Anytime." He says and looks into your eyes. His gaze lingers over your face.

"Ok ladies let's go!" Macey announces, clearly drunk enough to ruin a moment.

The four of you exit the car, you and John following behind Stella and Macey, close enough to see them, but far enough that you can't hear a word they're saying.

"I hope you know, I kinda missed you." John says as you reach the edge of the beach. He takes your hand.

"Only kinda??" you say, and the two of you laugh lightly. He shakes his head at your joke, and you continue through the silence that settles. "I hope you know that my friends will lose their minds if they see us together," you say, but you let him take your hand anyway.

"I hope you know that I don't really care what they think," he whispers and kisses you on the hand before leading you into the boneyard party.

Stella and Macey are already waiting for you with a beer from the keg in their hands. They pull you out of John's grasp, but it wasn't missed by anyone that the two of you came in together.

John walks over to his friends, who greet him with a pat on the back. You are pulled over to yours. Kelce, Topper, Rafe, and Amber stand together.

"What the fuck." Kelce is the first to speak. You're not as mad at Kelce, so you just give him a small shrug.

"No really, yn, what the fuck?" Topper asks.

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought I was supposed to get another ride?" you say incredulously, pretending you don't know what is wrong with your actions.

"Not with that guy, yn." Topper responds. He looks between Rafe and Kelce. Kelce has a look of betrayal on his face, while Rafe has a look of pure hatred.

"I don't understand, John is like super nice!" Amber comes to your defense.

"You can date him then, Amber." Topper bites back, staring at you.

You let there be a few seconds of silence before speaking again.

"So was I just supposed to not come to the party then?" You ask, wondering what the right option was. Topper rolls his eyes and pulls you aside from the group, who begin to interrogate Stella and Macey about how long 'this' has been rekindled.

"Yn." Topper says.

"What, Top?" you ask, "I really don't understand what's so wrong about him taking us here because you wouldn't! It's not like he was my first choice or anything."

"Yn, you could've had anyone on our side of the island come and pick you up and you chose him, of all people?" he responds.

"Top, you were supposed to pick me up. But you didn't. So I texted him. This is not totally my fault. If you wouldn't have picked up Rafe and Amber instead of us..." he interrupts you.

"Rafe begged us for a ride!! He wanted us to take him and Amber and leave early so we could leave her here." Topper blurts out, leaving you more than confused.

"What?" you begin to ask but are interrupted by Stella.

"Macey just threw up." She says, looking between you and Topper. The two of you point at each other at the same time, as if to say 'not my job!' Topper rolls his eyes and walks over to where Macey is sat on a log, hunched over.

When you arrive, trailing behind Topper, you see Rafe and Kelce on either side of Macey to support her as she stays hunched. Kelce is talking to her, while Rafe tries (and fails) to tie her hair out of her face. Amber is nowhere to be found.

"We've got it from here, boys." Stella says to Rafe and Kelce. You walk around the log on the side Rafe is sat on. He looks up at you and gives you a look that is rather hard to read, when you offer him your hand to help him up. He takes your hand and you help him, but you weren't fully prepared for his weight (and drunkeness) and he fell into you. You stop his momentum with a hand on his chest, still holding his hand in your other one.

"Sorry," he says meekly, your hands still together. You laugh it off and take Rafe's seat, and Stella takes Kelce's. The boys walk away, except Topper.

"Hi, Macey girl" you begin, using the nickname and singsongy voice you only use when she's in need of some support. "You doing ok?" you ask, genuinely concerned because, if Stella came over to you, that meant it was serious.

She mumbles something that you don't quite catch, when Topper says that he will just take her home.

"You don't have to do that, Top," you say, about to offer to drive her when you realize you have no car to transport her in.

"Yeah, Topper, I'm ok." Macey says, and there is a silence that follows. That is, until Macey throws up again right in front of Topper.

"I'm gonna take you home." Topper says finally.

"I'll go with you," Stella offers, "I'll ride in the back with her so she doesn't throw up."

"I might as well go too then, it's gonna be no fun without you guys here." You add.

"No, yn, you should stay with Kelce and Rafe. You're the most sober here, you should keep an eye on them. I'll come and get you guys after I bring Mace and Stella home." Topper says, already getting up with Macey and pulling his keys out of his pocket before you can object.

They walk away and, before you know it, the Jeep is gone down the road. You make your way over to the fire, hoping to find some semblance of your friends. You run into John, who has clearly had more to drink than when he brought you here, since he is stumbling all over you and trying to get you to dance with him. You promise him a dance another time, and set out further on your way.

You finally find Kelce after around 15 minutes of searching. He's at the keg, and you let out a sigh of relief. But you still don't know where Rafe is.

"Hey. They took Macey home, and Topper will be back for us later." you say, looking around for Rafe as you do.

"Okay," Kelce begins, "did Stella go too then?" he asks, his question hinting at a crush that Kelce might have on a certain someone.

You raise an eyebrow at him. "Yes... she went too." you pause, seeing that he has accepted it. You move on, "Where's Rafe?" you say, finally getting to your point.

Now, it's Kelce's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?" he says, voice obviously hinting at something.

"What do you even mean? I just wanted to know where he is, Topper told me to keep an eye on you two because you're apparently super hammered." You say.

"Oh, well, I don't know, it just seems to me like you might have a little crush on Rafe." he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"What??" you ask, "Kelce you're crazy, Rafe's my best friend, just like you and Topper."

"He might be your best friend, but it's not just like me and Topper, that's for sure." He says finally.

"Oh my god, you really are hammered." you say. "Where was the last place you saw him? Topper will be here to pick us up soon."

"Last I saw he was making out with Amber behind that tree." Kelce says, searching you for a reaction. When he doesn't get one, he continues, "Ok fine I saw him go out behind the dunes. but don't be too long getting him because I want to go home"

You ignore the last part, setting out to go behind the dune. When you pass Amber on her way back, all she says to you is, "Good luck, he told me he didn't want to talk."

And it seemed like good luck was what you had. You sat down next to Rafe, and he put his forehead straight onto your shoulder. You reach your hand up to rest on his head, and you lean your head onto his. You slowly feel your arm dampen, but you ignore the tears because that seems like what Rafe would want you to do. You couldn't tell if he was drunk and emotional, or just emotional.

You let a minute go by before you speak. "You wanna talk about it?" you ask, not expecting an answer.

"Not really," he mumbles into your shoulder.

"Okay," you say back. You wait another minute before speaking again. His head has turned to look out at the water. You turn to him before you say, "If you don't want to talk now, we don't have to. But Kelce wanted me to get you quick because he wants to go home. Is that ok?" you say, gauging his response to get an insight into how he is really feeling.

He laughs, but it doesn't reach his eyes like it usually would. "Yeah, that's fine." He says. Neither of you move. He finally lifts his head off your shoulder and stands up, offering you his hand. You take it, and he pulls you up without anyone falling onto anyone else. He doesn't drop your hand.

You lead him to find Kelce, where you two separate to wrangle him and both are then able to get him into the front seat of Topper's Jeep.

"What took you so long?" Topper asks.

"Just couldn't find these freaks, and then, once I did, Kelce tried to run away and drink even more." You say, covering Rafe's tracks. "You're babysitting him tonight, by the way." You say to Topper.

"That's fine, we are all staying at your house anyway." he mentions without even so much as a look in the mirror at you.

"What?!" you say.

"Your parents aren't home, and we have two, maybe three, drunk people who need help. Mine are home and they hate when we come home drunk."

"Fine, as long as you're taking care of Kelce." You say.

He agrees. You turn to look at Rafe, who is looking out the window of the car. You tap his hand that is on the seat next to you. He looks and gives you a small smile before looking back out the window.

You arrive to your house, where Topper pulls in the driveway. Topper is able to get Kelce out of the car and into the house before either you or Rafe move an inch.

"You wanna go in?" you ask. He doesn't move, but you know he heard you.

"Not really," he says honestly, turning to face you.

"Let's go in." you say, grabbing his hands together. "We can order pizza and watch Revenge of the Sith if you want?" you suggest, throwing out his favorite movie and his favorite meal to cheer him up at least a little bit.

"...okay, if you insist." he says with a hint of a smile on his face, and he follows you out of the car and inside.

You order the pizza when you get inside after you check on both Macey (who is sound asleep in your guest room) and Kelce (who is laying restlessly in your brother's bed asking Topper where Stella is). You come back to the living room where you see Stella sitting on one of your couches talking to Rafe, and you send her up to Kelce. There is quiet as you watch her ascend the stairs. You clear your throat and turn to Rafe, who is sat on the other couch.

"I ordered the pizza, it should be here soon." you say, trying to break the ice. He looks at you in acknowledgement and then turns back to his phone.

You come to stand in front of him, the backs of your legs touching the coffee table that is centered in the room, and the front of your knees just barely brushing the inside of his thighs. You sit down on the table, something your mother would reprimand you for, and Rafe puts his phone down.

He avoids your gaze. "You know I'm gonna ask you what's wrong, right?" you say, obviously.

"I know," he says, and he looks down, "I was just kinda waiting to see if you would forget about it."

"I wasn't gonna forget about it, you know that." you say honestly, looking at him as he finally meets your eyes. His blue eyes shine with the hint of a tear forming, and you admire how he still manages to look good even after he has cried.

He sighs, wiping under his eyes before a tear can escape. "Its just that..." he pauses, and your eyes prompt him to continue with his sentence, "tomorrow is the anniversary of the day my mom died, and Ward and Rose are leaving to go to the Bahamas." he finishes.

"Oh wow, Rafe, I didn't realize, I'm so sorry." you say, and that's all you can really manage to get out. You put your hand on his leg.

"Its really ok," he tries to brush the feelings off, "I just thought my dad still cared about her a little bit, even though he's with Rose now I thought he would still think about her sometimes or even know the day she passed away." he pauses his ramble, "It just still hurts a lot more than I thought it would, you know?" he says finally, sitting up and moving toward the edge of the couch, his elbows resting on his knees. Your legs are nearly intertwined, your hand still on his leg.

"It's definitely not 'okay', Rafe. This is a big deal. How you feel is a big deal... to me especially. I'm so sorry that it seems like Ward doesn't care." You pause, noticing that his hand is resting on his leg close enough that his fingers brush both your hand and your leg that is in between his. "...I promise you that this is important, and it's more than okay that you are still grieving her. She was so amazing. I have no idea what it's like, and I'm so sorry that you have to know."

"Thanks, yn" he says, but you know your words aren't going to heal his pain completely. You smile at him. He grabs your hands and gives them three tight squeezes when the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it, it's probably just the pizza," you look through the peephole of your front door, and you see John, looking out of breath and leaning on your doorframe.

You open the door, "Oh, hey, John," you say, loud enough for Rafe to hear and hopefully come over to the door. "What are you doing here?"

"I just needed to make sure you got home okay," he slurs, running a hand through his hair. He looks past you into your house and you close the door a little bit.

"Oh, yeah, all good, thanks for checking." you say, confused how he got here since his car wasn't in your driveway.

"Yeah of course... I ran here once I noticed you were gone. I just needed you to be safe." he explains, getting closer to you and stumbling as you back away slightly.

"Yep, all good here." you begin to tell him goodbye when he interrupts.

"Is that Topper's car?" he asks, his words blending together, and you nod. "...oh yeah, I was just thinking that's weird because you asked me to give you a ride because you didn't want to ride with Topper, and now he's here..."

"...well Topper is still my best friend, I couldn't be mad at him for too long, plus we worked everything out." you start, and you finish by saying, "so, thanks for checking in, I really appreciate it, but we are all good!"

"yeah of course, so what are you up to now?" he begins, looking into the house behind you again.

"Hey what's taking so long?" Rafe comes up to you, and his confidence falters slightly when he sees John. "What is he doing here?"

"He was just leaving, Rafe. He just wanted to check in on us and make sure everyone was safe." you explain, never having seen the two boys interact. All you knew was that Rafe hated him, and John wasn't so fond of Rafe either.

"Yeah just wanted to make sure my girl was okay, you know?" John says, and Rafe steps forward, blocking you from sight due to his tall and broad stature.

"Yeah, she's fine. So, why don't you get going now, huh?" Rafe says, clearly trying to hold back the anger that was sparked in him by the comment that John made about you being 'his girl'. If anything you were Stella's girl, Macey's girl, Your Boys' girl, Rafe's girl, most definitely not John Townsend's girl.

"I don't know... yn was just about to invite me in to stay for a while, said she missed me" John lies, drunkenly trying to get a rise out of Rafe. And whether it was Rafe's emotions talking, or whether Rafe just really wanted to punch John Townsend in his stupid pretty-boy face, one punch was thrown, and then suddenly the boys are fighting on your front porch.

You tried to get them to stop, but it was no use. The pizza guy pulls into the driveway a minute or so later, and Rafe stops beating on poor John's pretty face. John stands and gives Rafe one final shove before walking away. "Bye, yn, text me if you're ever tired of these losers." he says, and with that, he was gone. Rafe is still breathing heavily. You tip the pizza guy and he leaves very soon after his arrival.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." you say, hoping that Rafe will follow you inside. He waits until John is out of sight, then he does, you place the pizza box on the counter, and you begin rummaging through your cabinets for your first aid supplies.

"Sit," you command, once you've found the supplies. He sits, and, even sitting, he is almost eye level with you. You begin to clean one of the wounds he has on his face, the one that already seems to be swelling.

"You didn't have to do that," you say after a few minutes go by.

"I know." he responds.

"I hate it when you fight," you say.

"I know." he responds.

"This bruise looks like it's gonna hurt pretty bad tomorrow," you begin.

"You should see the other guy." he says and tries to crack a small smile.

You smile sadly, thinking about the handful of other times you'd had to patch Rafe up. "I remember the first time I ever had to do this," you begin to reminisce, "you had gotten into a fight with someone in school about something in ninth grade gym class, and then they sent you to the nurse before you could go to the principal's" you say, laughing lightly at the memory, and you finish cleaning the cut near his eye.

He smiles, "you were in the nurse for a migraine, and you told me she was out for a little but that you could try your best to help me." You pick up his hand, cleaning the cuts on his knuckles from 'the other guy'

"yeah, that was when I was convinced I was gonna be a nurse, so I was determined to patch up your skinned elbow really well so maybe the nurse would hire me." you say, laughing at the memory as you finish putting a bandage on his knuckles. "I shouldn't keep having to do this," you joke, but you don't drop his hand.

"You should stop making me get in fights over you," he retorts quietly without thinking, looking up at you and hoping you didn't realize what he said.

"You should stop getting in fights... wait, over me?" you say, perplexed. He looks away, before he gets up from the chair and clears his throat.

"Let's put the pizza in the fridge, if we aren't gonna eat any now?" he says while packing up the pizza into a bag.

"Why did you say that?" you ask, still frozen in place.

"Say what? We should put this pizza away if we aren't gonna eat it." he says, acting oblivious.

"No, Rafe, the other thing." you say, expecting an answer.

"We can just talk about it later. It's nothing." he says, and he finishes packing up the pizza and puts it in the fridge.

"Really?" you say, now leaning on the counter.

"Yes, really, yn." he responds, walking past you and giving you a small squeeze on the shoulder before heading upstairs and leaving you by yourself in the kitchen.

"Goodnight, yn" he says quietly as he leaves.

"...goodnight." you say, still confused.

a/n sorry started school this week forgot to post. hope you enjoy, not [proofread!

🏷️list: @flvredcas @rafesno1bae @kiiyomei @silkylovey @girlwedontcare @sunny1616 @asterizee @pillowprincess4him @patychieffi @rafeslittleangel @anightlikethisss @drewsdirtyslut @mattyskies @theyluvmesblog @gothamgirl2024 @ujws5 @kmhbygss @kaiparkerwifes

[unforth]

Alright not to like liveblog my breakdown on main but yesterday was a really bad day after a really bad, like, 4 months, and I've hit a bit of a breaking point and one of the only things in my life that can give is running @mdzsartreblogs , @tgcfartreblogs , @svsssartreblogs , @erhaartreblogs , @tykartreblogs , and @cnovelartreblogs , so that is what has to give. It's been a 99-out-of-100 days thankless job. A small number of people do say thank you and yall I appreciate you so much (HUGE shout-out to the artist I met at Flamecon who gifted me a zine when I said I ran these blogs, @bonesblubs you rock) but I have never done an act of fandom labor simultaneously this labor intensive yet this invisible before and, uh. It sucks. I spend an hour or more a day on this every day, if it's under 2k hours since I started the first of these in September 2020 I'd be shocked. And I do it because I love it but doing it means I don't have time or energy to do other things I love. And I really don't want to just quit, but I can't keep this up.

In a last-ditch effort to try not to just give up, I'm making the following changes:

1. Only watching one tag per fandom for the MXTX fandoms. I am going to check *only* #tgcf, #svsss, and #mdzs. Artwork posted to any other tag, I will not see unless a mutual reblogs it.

2. Reduced tagging (even more). I'm only going to tag characters and maybe overarching au type (eg, "modern au," "fantasy au"). I'll no longer tag creatures. I will continue to tag the same common trigger warnings I already tag.

3. If a work's appearance doesn't make it obvious what it is AND the tags aren't clear, I'm not going to reblog. I can't keep spending 5 minutes or more trying to figure out what I'm even looking at, scared that if I guess wrong the artist will get mad at me for mistagging their work. If I do reblog, I'll tag only the artist name and/or whatever else I can identify for sure.

4. I am no longer going to follow #link click. The fandom is just too big. I've started dreading checking it. If I was more into it and less busy I would make another spin off just for it but neither of those is true. (The art is so good, I hate to do this, but. If you love link click, highly recommend the main tag, lots of great stuff there.)

5. I will no longer tag any non-cnovel content in the art/post. Like, if someone draws, idek, Xie Lian and Marinette from Ladybug, I'm not gonna put any tags for Marinette, just for Xie Lian.

6. Basically if I run into something hard to tag or confusing or unclear, my new policy is I'm not gonna fricken bother.

I think those are everything but idefk, I cried for 3 hours last night and got 4 hours of sleep so I'm mostly fueled by exhaustion and desperation right now and my memory is even more fried than usual.

How artists can help. This is obviously all optional. You do you. But since some people might want to know what would make my life easier, I'm sharing. I'm not claiming I feel entitled to dictate how people fandom or anything like that.

1. Put the tags for the character(s) and ship(s) early in the tag list.

2. If you make art for a fandom that isn't one of the big ones (right now the only big danmei fandoms on tumblr as far as I can tell are the MXTX fandoms and maybe 2ha) I am begging you to use my tracked tag #cnovelartreblogs

3. Do mdzs art? Tag #mdzs. Do tgcf art? Tag #tgcf. Do svsss art? Tag #svsss.

4. Not only artists, but everyone, *please* stop tagging fandoms not discussed and/or depicted in your post. It's gotten to be stupid common for people to blanket the danmei fandom tags with posts only about one fandon (like, svsss-only works also being tagged mdzs and tgcf and 2ha for some damn reason). This isn't about just my sideblogs tbh this is just fandom etiquette that seems to have been forgotten or never learned by many. Tagging unrelated fandoms isn't "reach," it's annoying. People go into the #mdzs tag to see mdzs, not whatever not-mdzs stuff people have decided to tag for ~reach~, and seeing the same post in 8 tags, none of which it's related to, is so damn irritating, and makes scrolling the tags looking for content that IS relevant take that much longer. Knock it off.

Okay. I think that's as much as I'm prepared to meltdown where everyone can see. Thanks in advance everyone for your understanding, and apologies to everyone about to see this 8 times as I reblog it to each sideblog.

At least I'm not tagging it to everywhere. 🤣🤣🤣

[whisper-in-the-night]

Undesirable

Plot: Thomas is omega who will never find his true mate. Or no?

Warnings: omegavers; deviation from the canon; omega!Thomas Hewitt, alpha!male!reader / Y/N

Part 2 | Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

•••

The sun was slowly rolling out from behind the horizon, turning the dark sky a dirty orange color. The night sounds gradually closed in, and at the same time the warm Texas wind was leaving, indicating another hot day coming.

You sighed softly, letting the smoke out of your mouth and filling your lungs with residual coolness, blissfully closing your eyes. Your head hurts a little after another sleepless night, but it was clearly worth it. Your little sister enjoyed the holiday and your presence to her heart's content. Although it was somewhat uncomfortable to be among all this huge mass of relatives for a whole week, you were able to heroically withstand this ordeal, although it was not without bad gossips of envious relatives behind your back. And yet all these inconveniences paled against the background of your sister's sincere smile without a few lower teeth. In addition, the girl was very pleased with the gift of a drawing set from you.

And so now you had an equally tedious and long journey home, your home. Although that place could hardly be called home already. Work got boring, familiar peopleс got bored, and constant entertainment with friends caused stress. You missed your childhood home for only one reason: the spacious landscapes here have always brought warmth to your heart and a feeling of freedom. But, alas, there were no people here who would understand you. Besides, having lived here for a long time, you have not found your mate. Perhaps the decision to leave was for the best.

You threw the cigarette butt on the ground and rubbed it on the asphalt with a hard movement of your boot.

•••

A long gray strip of road seemed to stretch endlessly ahead in front of the car. You rested your head boringly on your hand, leaning against the opened car window, your other hand resting on the steering wheel, which was slightly slippery from your sweaty skin. It wasn't even ten a.m. and the heat was already infernal. The sun was reflected in the car window with nasty sunbeams, which made you have to lower the visor.

After driving only about an hour and a half from the departure point, your gaze inadvertently slipped a little further from the road, noticing a group of people standing nearby.

They were three young people about twenty years old. One of them, a young guy, was tall and rather broad-shouldered, but still quite thin, with a sloppy short brown haircut and dimples on his cheeks. He was dressed as openly as possible: a white T-shirt, apparently so that the sun would not mercilessly burn his grayish skin, and loose red shorts; he had a large sports bag on his shoulder. There were two girls on either side of him. One, the short one, had the same color hair, and delicate blue eyes that looked at you just at the moment when you were slowing the car down, staring at the guys. Her hair was neatly pulled back into a careless bun that flashed at the back of her head whenever she turned. She was wearing some kind of inconspicuous yellow dress with flowers matching the color of her slightly worn ballet flats. The other girl, slightly taller, had black hair flowing freely over her fragile shoulders, a white shirt tucked into denim shorts and a bunch of bracelets on her arms. Both girls carried small backpacks with them.

As soon as the short girl saw you on the road, she happily said something to her friends, nodding in your direction. The company came up to you, you stopped the car.

"Hey! Could ya give us a ride?" Smiling, the guy asked, which caused small dimples to appear on his cheeks once again, "It's just that transport doesn't often go here. 'think we'll be stuck here for a long time without ya, y'know."

You looked the young man up and down, as far as the current review allowed you, and after throwing a short 'Get in', nodded towards the back doors. You took a small thermos from the glove compartment and a pack of suppressants, hastily stuffing a couple of pills into your mouth. Just in case. Without thinking twice, the young man putted his friends in the back seat with their bags, and he sat in the passenger seat in front, deciding to keep you company. The car drove on.

You drove in complete silence for a while.

Finally, the young man spoke.

"Well.. Thank ya for lettin' us down, man. My name is Mason," the guy began with a slight smile, shifting his gaze from the road to you. The young man was clearly not dejected by your bored expression.

"Y/N" you answered briefly, feeling a dull headache coming up to your temples from a sleepless night; it didn't help that the guy's voice was quite high and loud, which hurt your ears a lot.

"Cool, nice to meet ya. This, by the way, is my girlfriend Judith," he pointed at the short girl, "and my sister Lily," He nodded towards the tall girl. It's not clear if this was his strange attempt to start at least some kind of conversation or if there was some other reason behind it, but you didn't care at all about either the guy or any of the girls present, who at that moment began to giggle softly from the back seat. The only thing you wanted was to get home and rest as soon as possible. Your gaze inadvertently slid up, looking into the mirror. You could see how the girls were whispering enthusiastically about something with silly smiles, from time to time running their eyes in your direction.

The rest of the trip was quite calm. Over time, Mason's speech became less enthusiastic, but rather more friendly and carefree. He talked about his family and college studies, friends and hobbies. In the end, from his story, you knew out that these guys were students who took a sabbatical and just decided to visit different states. To some extent, you even caught yourself thinking that you envy these guys: you would also like to spit on all your responsibilities and goals and go somewhere far away, even if you stay here in Texas. But work is work, you wouldn't want to let your family down, much less your little sister.

•••

Driving up to the already familiar gas station store, you parked near the entrance and got out of the car. Perhaps, finally, it would be worth taking some gasoline with you. There would hardly be another gas station for the next mile ahead.

"I'll buy gas and come back," you said shortly, taking one last look at the young people.

Without waiting for an answer, you walked towards the store. Your ears were filled with the already familiar ringing of a small door bell, the door closed behind you with a slight creak. The sweet, tired old woman's face was immediately waiting for you at the checkout.

"Hello," you said with a slight smile, walking inside the room.

The woman looked at you sternly, but as soon as she recognized your face, her features softened. "Oh, hello son. I didn't think to see you here again."

"Oh, yeah.. I'm still after the same thing. I need to buy gas to go home," you said, awkwardly, as if embarrassed, rubbing the back of your head with your fingers.

The old lady looked at you with almost maternal understanding and nodded. Obviously, she was alone in the store today. After putting the meat on the shelf of the showcase and wiping her hands with a towel, she came out to you.

"Yes, sure. Except I don't have any cans left in the store, and as you can see, my son isn't here today either. Could you take me home? I'd give you the canister for free, son. I live here, nearby."

You looked at her in surprise, but immediately replied with a slight nod. Who could refuse such an offer?

"Sure. Come on."

You opened the door for the woman and as soon as you both left, she began to close the store with several locks. Obviously, the area was not the most prosperous. You looked back at your car and saw the guys on the street. Mason was standing under the awning of the store and reading some small ads from an old time, while the girls were practically hugging each other and chatting casually about something. As soon as you left the store, Mason's sister gave you a strange look and smiled slyly.

"I'm go na take my friend home now, stay here, okay? I'll be back in about fifteen minutes."

You opened the passenger seat in front for the woman and helped her get inside. She explained to you how to get to her house, and you started this slow relaxing ride. She introduced herself to you as Luda-May and was no less pleased to hear your own name. Her face was constantly decorated with small wrinkles on her cheeks or between her eyebrows when she asked you something with interest. Overall, she was a pleasant conversationalist and was happy to tell you about this town. Luda also told you about her family, which includes three people besides herself: her brother Monty, son Charlie and youngest son Thomas, whom you have already seen directly before. As you listened to the story, clutching the steering wheel leather with your free hand, you lit a cigarette, releasing gray smoke out the window. After knew out about the same habit of the woman, you kindly offered her one from your pack.

"You are such a sweet child, Y/N, not like my eldest son. Would you like to come over for tea?" Luda asked with a smile, blowing smoke out the open window, and looking at you. You couldn't refuse this lovely woman.

[protagonist-art]

More big mama?

was gonna draw one more but itz not happening tonight so ill share these!!

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: What is Unique about You?

Hey :p

Welcome to a new pick a pile reading. Today we'll do the winner of last poll, with What is Unique about You? Which is a ''get to know yourself'' type of post.

We'll look at 3 different things: what makes your mind unique, what makes your heart unique, and what unique wisdom do you hold. For each row, I'll draw at least 3 cards to get a full picture.

So focus on the picture that draws you in the most, and remember that this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not resonates 100%.

Check out all my pick a cards here

I'm also on ig

I offer paid readings, see my pinned post :)

PILE 1

Cards: King of swords, 2 of Cups, the Emperor, Ace of Swords, 10 of Swords, Page of Swords, Queen of Wands, King of Cups, Page of Wands, 10 of Wands

Right off the bat, pile 1, you have a very intellectually active mind, always pushing boundaries and looking forward. Air and Fire dominate your reading, and there is a strong presence of King figures. You seem strongly seated in your power and the things you've learned, and may shine as some type of authority figure to those around you. With two Tens, there is also the idea of completion, which implies the end of a cycle as well and the beginning of a new one. But let's look at the rows.

What is unique about your mind:

To you, seeking knowledge is the greatest form of power one can aim for, and you take it to heart. You're always reaching out to learn more, which is a way for you to transform yourself and overcome life's difficulties. Your mind is explorative, methodical, and forward thinking. I also get the idea that you might be neurodivergent in some way, and that you use this thirst for knowledge to bridge the gap between you and people, always pushing to learn more about those around you, like an eternal student of humans, which helps you function in society. You like order and cataloguing things, organizing everything you've learned in systems which again helps you understand the world and those around you better. There is no topic that your mind cannot tackle, you break things down until you have full control over them. You probably have many areas of interest.

What is unique about your heart:

You've been through your share of heartaches and know what it feels like to hit rock bottom. Despite that, you've never let it paralyze you for too long, for you know that when you fall the only way is up. You're heart is brave and determined, but you may also guard it fiercely. Your heart is ruled by your mind, but it also has a strong passionate fire which fuels your progression in life. You've got this well of optimism within you that makes you look forward in spite of everything else. You probably hide it well though, and may enjoy a more twisted or darker style of humor, which is well-meaning and is more the result of your life experiences than a desire to shock for no reason. For you, laughing in the face of pain is a way to move forward and to tell life that it can't keep you down forever.

What unique wisdom do you hold:

You know that you can overcome anything with the sacred fire on your side. Your unwavering passion and go-getter attitude are the reasons why you came this far. You've also learned that your emotions are not here to put you down but great guides that can help you through life if you listen to their messages. Despite your mind ruling everything, you're deeply empathetic and while you keep that to yourself, it is a strong force that underlines the way you move in life. You've learned that it's necessary to work hard to get what you want and you're deeply ambitious, not so much in financial matters since pentacles are absent from all of your cards, but on a soul-level.

PILE 2

Cards: Ace of Wands, the Hanged Man, 3 of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Queen of Swords, Knight of Swords, 3 of Cups, 8 of Wands, 4 of Wands, 10 of Pentacles, Page of Wands, the Magician

What makes your mind unique

This is the pile of the deep thinkers who plan ahead carefully in order to take the right actions. You have a knack for thinking outside of the box and being highly creative, which allows you to see the steps ahead in a very practical and goal oriented way. It may look like you take your time before acting, but so much is happening under the surface, and when you do decide to move, it's calculated and purposeful. There is also an element of passionately researching things before setting on an opinion, relying on the wisdom of others to feed your own. There is no end to your quest, there's always something more to learn.

What is unique about your heart

You are a deeply honest person who strives for being true to what you feel and think. You may have a tendency to rationalize your emotions, which may make you look a bit harsh or detached at times because you say things as they are without considering how it makes other people feel. However, you are deeply loyal to your circle of loved ones and will go above and beyond to defend them. You are highly communicative of what you think/feel (those things tend to blend for you) and do not hold back in any circumstances. Being truthful is a way to honor yourself and you like speaking up, not only to make things right, but also, to bring clarity to yourself. It's like you need to talk or write to bring sense and order into what happens within, and you tend to do the same for others.

What unique wisdom do you hold

Again, a very fiery creativity comes through here. You've learned to be proud of yourself and what you've achieved. That in order to create something great, you must start with the first piece and patiently build it bit by bit. And that will mean different things for different folks, but for example it could be a creative venture, or a career/studies, or even a strong social circle that took you years to nurture. You never lost your passionate spark, always looking forward to what can be improved, looking up optimistically. There is no end to your adventure and you want to add even more wins and achievements to your track records. You truly are a creator and truth seeker in the deepest sense, inventive and clever, and your found the fire to carry you forward for years to come.

PILE 3

Cards: Justice, Temperance, 8 of Wands, 4 of Cups, the Hermit, Longing of Wands, 8 of Swords, 5 of Cups, Death, 7 of Pentacles rx, Queen of Wands, the World

What is unique about your mind

You are very quick thinking, rapidly making connections between things and sparking new trails in your mind. It's a way for you to bring order to your perception of the world, to make things right and balanced through understanding and making up your own opinion on things. You are very aware of humans shortcomings and have some type of rational empathy for the failures of others. You have a very neutral approach to things and always make sure you have all information at hands before making a judgement, but once you do, there's usually no turning back.

What makes your heart unique

You're somewhat a bit closed off emotionally, which makes you distant from your emotions. You have a very explorative way to approach them, as if you had to actively seek to understand them in order to perceive what they want to say. You really think that your emotions are to be listened to, but you also often feel threatened by them, which makes you hesitant to let yourself feel them. The other side of that, is that you can easily feel overwhelmed and stuck in what you feel, unable to see beyond. But you're fully aware of that and determined to see through this mystery. You may need to spend some time contemplating what you feel, perhaps through journalling or meditating, or anything done alone, which also implies that when you can't do that, you remain in the fog. You're also not someone who acts against their heart, which may freeze you in place a bit when you're not sure about how you feel. You are whole and authentic in that way.

What unique wisdom do you hold

You've been marked by loss and grief in the past, and felt like something that you held dearly, something you cherished and put a lot of effort into, got struck and destroyed. But you're fully aware that change, even when dramatically painful and unwanted, brings the seed of something new, and that you can find a new beginning in all things. This gave you a vicious sense of independence and optimism. Like the only way to get revenge on life is to shine brighter. You keep your sufferings close to yourself and I get the feeling that you go back and forth between looking back in regret and looking forward in hope. I do however feel like the hope side is stronger these days because of that wisdom of change I was talking about. Life is made of cycles and you know how to dance with its tune.

[thedivinepath888]

daily practice ⋆·˚ ༘ *

❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃

the act of daily practice if often very misunderstood. a daily practice does not mean to do spells and rituals every single day in order to be a witch. it is not necessary for a daily practice to be huge or something specifically special.

you may even find yourself so distant from your craft that you put it on pause for weeks, yeah even months. does this make you any less of a witch? does this make you any less powerful? no, absolutely not!

we are human beings. it is absolutely normal to put certain things last, especially when there are more important things for you at the time. perhaps you can't practice witchcraft while studying for exams or during stressful and difficult times. or you just can't bring yourself to practice it for no specific reason at all.

just know that this is so damn normal. you should never feel bad about yourself for pausing your craft. there might be a reason for that you don't yet understand! so don't push yourself too hard.

a way to keep the magic in your life, even after pausing your craft for a while, is by incorporating daily practices into your everyday-routine, even when you're still practicing actively at the moment.

now what does daily practice mean?

daily practices are the things you do on a daily basis, regularly. we'll soon get to how some of these practices can look like.

it can help you to stay in touch with your craft, with your power, you spirit guides, deities, etc. even on days you're not drawn to do actual magical rituals—which is NORMAL and absolutely OKAY.

a few examples of daily practices:

1. stirring intentions in your drinks and foods

2. wearing crystals

3. enchant your jewelry and wear it

4. dress according to today's planet ruler

5. put spell oils on your body or clothes

6. use glamour magic (this can be as simple as drawing sigils or runes on your face with your moisturizer or makeup)

7. light an ancestor, deity or spirit guide candle (if you have one)

8. divination

[littlemissayu]

TWST Boys as ✨ PARENTS✨(Part 2)

ft: Octavinelle, Scarabia | pt.1; ft.Heartsabyul & Savanaclaw | pt.3; ft.Pomefiore, Ignhihyde | pt. 4; ft.Diasomnia

TW: kids, pregnancy, reader is depicted as female, domestic, fluff

Azul Ashengrotto-

4 very well behaved children. For the majority of the time they are really good kids, listening, getting good grades,and respectful. Until you make one of them angry, bc they will hold that grudge and with find a way to pull a fast on you; yet will they admit they're mad if you simply ask? No. They DO know how to forgive and they do to the people they love. Honestly Azul would be a very gentle parent because he has a soft heart and doesn't think his kids could do anything wrong, definitely the parent who will find some excuse for his kid.Don't get me wrong he knows where to draw the line like if their kicking someone's chair on an airplane. 2 boys and 2 girls, and he would never have it any other way(even if originally he was sort of scared of messing them up).

Jade Leech-

2 kids, two adorable little girls. His daughters were super calm children. When you two first brought your first home you were gald yet worried because she rarely cried throughout the night. All you could think is 'This is so jade's daughter'. Both of your kids are absolutely brilliant and catch on fast. Your 2nd daughter was very into photography and would snap pictures of family and her dad's mushroom garden.One father's day she gave her dad a photo album filled with pictures of him with his family (and his mushrooms & terrariums); he almost cried tears of joy. Jade loves to spoil his little girls, he tries to say no to them but they give him those sad, sad eyes and he just gives in. Very protective of your and your girls, you guys are the most important people in his life.

Floyd Leech-

6-10 kids, two words ; baby machine. He loves seeing you pregnant so he does it over and over again. The most chaotic dad to ever have, wanna egg the neighbors house? He'll help. Wanna troll local Walmart employees? You guys will get kicked out together. Wanna rustle with a good ol' dad in the mud? Let's do it!! To others he may seem like a horrible parent but his kids know he always means best and they love him. He hates parent-teacher conference, bc now he has to listen to some strange rant about his kid for 25 minutes; but the upside is if his kids do really well they get to treat them for whatever they want. He'll also get to be super proud!! He has at least 2-3 sets of twins only one of them is boy-girl, other(s) is boy-boy.

Kalim Al Asim-

9- whenever you tell him you don't want anymore kids!! This man wants a huge family like he had growing up. Most of his kids seem to be super happy go lucky like their dad. He has more self-control by the time he has kids so thankfully he isn't throwing parties everyday, but if his kids want to have one ; go all out!! (Just don't do anything illegal). All his kids are given unlimited cards by the age of 13, he wanted to do 7 but you said it was too young so he agreed on 13. His kids are the life of every party, you either really love 'em or really hate 'em. These kids are 100% either home-schooled or in a prestigious private school and have bodyguards for the obvious reasons being they are Asim kids they have constant threat someone will assassinate/kidnap them. But Kalim is a great dad and his kids love him!! I'm not gonna list all his kids but his first is a little girl <3

Jamil Viper-

2 kids, very strict. He is the first Viper in years to break the long line of servitude to the Asim family. It's hard to break out of certain habits but, although it made his kids super sneaky, it also made them work really hard to not have dad be disappointed. His kids are super smart and always on top of their class. Like their dad they are very talented, his daughter takes up painting and martial arts, and his son takes up spelldrive and culinary. Jamil may be strict but he is also a very proud parent, as his kids seem to always do amazing things. He does tell them when he's proud and tells them how great they're doing and how much he loves them. Lucky for them they also inherited his gorgeous hair.

Octavinelle Masterlist

Scarabia Masterlist

TWST Masterlist

[theoreticaltranstherian]

Jumping on the bandwagon woo-hoo

no spam reblog or spam comment ;P

For every 100 reblogs I'll drink another bottle of water

Update: Ive drank almost 2 whole water bottles in the last 3 days which isn't much proportionally but for one, I'd probably not even drink one if it wasn't for the internet critters in my phone telling me to and also, yk, thats alot of water compared to my last few weeks getting all my fluids from food

10 reblogs: Go to bed before midnight tonight

50 reblogs: I'll make my bed in the mornings for a week

Update: I found out that my bed being made kinda stresses me out for some reason, it's just so neat I get scared, and so instead I am putting away 3 pieces of clothing that have been clean for months and i just haven't touched every morning :D

75 reblogs: I'll work on getting accommodations for my autism at school

Update: I don't have the required "proof of diagnosis" and I'd have to wait 2 years or so to get it and I won't be in school anymore at that point, so I'm working with my counselors to see what they can do aside from official autism accommodations

125 reblogs: I'll work in upping my failing grade in math

Update: Math test retake on the 12tg, wish me luck!

150 reblogs: I'll work on my dopamine addiction and get help

Update: Hooooooly shit addictions are hard. I'm going to start a timer for time between uses of YouTube shorts or Instagram reels in an effort to reduce my need for instant gratification and try to replace every time I pick my phone up with drawing or reading or talking to people around me.

200 reblogs: I'll post my art that I've been self conscious about posting

Update: I am really happy for this, it's finally an excuse for me to make myself post my art :D it's probably gonna be 1-2 drawings per post with a little background with each :3

300k reblogs: I'll start cleaning up my room

400k reblogs: I'll clean out my bag (God pls don't get to 400 yall T T)

500: I'll get sharp objects out of my room

1k reblogs: I'll be really happy :0

Edit; Added more goals

2k reblogs: I'll start streaming on twitch again!!!

3k reblogs: I'll empty out my drafts

5k: I come out as trans to my parents (I don't know if they're transphobic so to speak, but they are of the mindset that "do whatever you want once you're out of our house but until then you are our kid" but I wanna be like um no actually-)

5.5k: I come out as trans to my non-transphobic grandma

6k: I come out as trans to my transphobic grandma

Edit 2; Yo same picture of the earth reblogged me?!? the picverse found this?!?! that's insane xd

Edit 4; I added some coming out goals because I'm not gonna do it if I don't have the pressure from hundreds of little things in my phone cheering me on xd

Pinging moots so there's at least a small chance of any of these happening xd

@calimewzz @annotated-catastrophe @glitched-out-dusk @life-is-okay-rn

[alllgator-blood]

I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done

my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION

I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut

Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.

here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.

So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.

For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....

I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time

OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard

[tuliptic]

My Way: Finding My Place in Adulthood

Don’t be afraid, dreams are everywhere, just keep going as I always have, this is my way.

Henlo adults here, this is another reading for y’all. This reading is specifically targeted to all adults: young adults to ease their minds; regular adults to get used to adulthood. Adulthood is really… Something… And this is coming from someone who’s turning 30 soon. I still have no grasp about what I’m doing, how I’m living my life, etc. Adulthood is still scary to me, though I have to say I’m seeing myself getting better and better day by day. Taking baby steps is important, as we all grow from what we experience.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: How am I supposed to move around in adulthood, being an adult? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1: Don’t be afraid, dreams are everywhere

One card to represent you: The World

I feel like there’s some sort of fear and enlightenment here. Some of you have an idea of what you want to do or achieve in your life, some of you know your life purposes, most of you are content with how your life is right now and are just going with the flow. However, all have a certain discomfort in common, which is fear of uncertainty. Most here may have earth influence in your chart, where stability is needed, where you are able to hold certain control over your own life. What if I do this and I could no longer go back? What if I give up my job and pursue something else? You have the answers to these questions, but you’re not ready to take the first step because of how certain you are that things will not go as you planned and hence, you’re in a standstill. (PS: Some of you may be into spirituality as well, and you might be called to use this gift to achieve enlightenment for yourself and the people around you.)

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Four of Wands rx

For some reason, I feel that… You expect difficulties. You don’t expect or believe good things can come to you without lessons or pain. You believe in fairness and balance, that amazing things can only come to you if you put in the effort and work hard. Hence, you tend to not take certain opportunities either because you think you don’t deserve it or you don’t think you’re capable of it. In a sense, I’d say that this way of thinking has caused quite some conflict and tension, not allowing you to enjoy the peace and security you usually like. What has brought you comfort in the past is now hindering you to accept new happiness in.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Seven of Cups rx

Seven of Cups is a card of illusion, but with it in reverse, it is a card of choice. This relates back to the first card pulled, the card to represent you. You know what to do, you are capable of doing it, but there’s fear holding you back. Or maybe, fears. To you, you’re not only jumping out of your comfort zone, but into a danger zone where you have no idea how to manage the risks. Accept your fears, let yourself fall, let yourself fail. Have courage, believe that you’ll still be able to stand up after the fall and grow better from it. You’ll be surprised with what you’re capable of.

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - Death rx

This card here is very self-explanatory: You fear change. That’s it. You prefer stability over anything else, and you fear losing control over what you have. What is yours needs to remain yours. This may stem from insecurities that were caused by traumas when you were younger, may it be people leaving you, or being disappointed by others, or something else. It has definitely affected your thought process, your understanding of the world and your way around it. The first thing that came into my mind was therapy, because there are some deep-seated issues that you may have. You’ll need to identify your fear, the root cause of it, work it out, and step out to try something new, constantly regenerating yourself on the way.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Nine of Wands

You’re resilient. You may not think so, thinking that how you function is just the norm and everyone else does the same. No, you’re different. You have gone through a lot of things and those experiences help you manoeuvre yourself around the present issues, and you learn as you grind through the challenges presented. People may see you as an inspiration with how you manage to not dim your lights through the darkest nights. You need to know that you have a side like this, and that you’re able to encourage others through you being you. Shine. Accept yourself and shine brighter, be the inspiration you’ve wanted to be. You’ll be surprised with how things will fall in place and come to you.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Eight of Wands

I’d say building connections would help you in the long run. Eight of Wands is a card that talks about action, which is… Again, self-explanatory. But what sort of actions should you be taking? In what field? Connections and networking. I’d say most of you have a way with words, or some may even have 3H or 11H placements. By building a web of connections, you’re able to gather information and help from various parties that will help you to get on the right track. Some may even push you towards the direction that you want to head to. Be proactive in making friends, talking to people, and taking the first step. Once you throw yourself out, people will know you and will be able to provide the support you need. And then you can vroom your way.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Five of Pentacles rx

One comforting message here is that difficult times shall pass. You may think you overcame something but there’s more to work on, which you’ll realise that the issue you face is still affecting your decision making as of current. You’ve got to review your past and learn your lessons, know that you can’t afford to stay in this mindset for long. This card acts as a sign that it’s time for you to move from feeling insecure to a more adjusted mindset, which will be prompted when you see new perspectives. You will be receiving messages from your guides and higher selves in various forms. Trust your gut feeling, believe in every reason that makes you feel better.

Overall energy: The Tower, Five of Cups rx

The themes of lesson, growth and replacing things and values that no longer serve you. Liberation will come to you when you move past that phase that’s holding you back. Hmm… Lemme reword myself. This pile gives me the feeling of something promising is coming, but you’ll need to go through the lessons (aka accepting that good things can come to you without your expected cost, it’s alright to fail, the need to find out the root cause of insecurities, etc). Life will present opportunities to learn, and will bring in new people for you to grow together. You know you are loved. If you don’t know it, now you do. Believe it.

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Pile 2: Finally we begin

One card to represent you: The Empress

I would say that you have a gentle energy, you’re the person others go to when they’re feeling down or when they need some advice. You radiate a warmth that’s calming, providing a space of comfort for the hurt and wounded to rest and heal. You are intuitive, tho I have to say that your wisdom outshines it. It’s not just wisdom, it’s not just gentleness, but also a sense of belonging, a place where one returns to. Your intuition is what gives you the ability to see through things, people as well as the unknown. Some of you may have clair abilities, especially claircognizance. 

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Ten of Pentacles

I would say that you expect to build a life, build a family of your own, to be your own source of whatever you want. You do not want to rely on other people for things, especially financial abundance and happiness. You want to be your own provider so that you would feel secure with it, and that you’ll be able to contribute or give out what you have without needing to be conscious of how others look at you. There’s a hint of family themes among this, so it could also be you wanting to be the provider in your new found family without losing your own independence, if this makes sense.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Ace of Swords rx

It’s doable, but it’s difficult. I feel that there’s quite some conflict between you and your family, resulting in you wanting to build a new family or to have your own found family. There’s this tension in you that is blocking a lot of blessings, I’d say. There’s a lack of clarity and undefined goals, preventing you from achieving success and happiness (depending on what you define them as). You will need to review your expectations, to set clear and measurable goals, only then you’ll be able to see your progress and further decide on how you want to proceed or to make changes along the way. Do not try to cover up facts or find excuses. You know that it’s not going to help you in the long run. Face it, accept it, work with it. 

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - The Sun

Optimism is great, but being overly optimistic is not good. You tend to see the good side of things and may end up beautifying them, exaggerating them, or even fabricating them unconsciously. For some reason, I’m also seeing that you may be beautifying self-sacrificial tendencies, or attempt to attract people with your pain. You want to shine, want others to pay attention to you. Some of you may be prideful, but some would use whatever they’re “lacking” to attract attention. Example: Your friends use iPhone, and you use Android. Instead of saying you want to be different, you probably will go with the approach of “people who use iPhones are just keeping up with the trend and thinking that’s the higher end”, when in reality you can’t afford an iPhone. This is just an exaggerated example illustrated here for you to have an idea.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Death

Change is your forte. Some of you may not know it, but some of you do (and perhaps do not accept it). It’s not flexibility that we’re talking about, but more of an open-mindedness along with acceptance. Once you’ve overcome your weakness, you will be more open to listening to what others have to say, and forming your own opinion based on whatever information you’ve gathered (from others, from your own research, as well as updating outdated data). The transitioning phase will be smoother during then, when you shift from the old to the new. Right now, I’d say that there’s still a part of you who’s unable to accept that you’re wrong, or incorrect at certain things. There’s no fault in having pride over your knowledge, but if it is hindering you from improving, then you may need to work on that. 

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - The Emperor

Focus on your goals and what you want to achieve. For you, I’d say, one of your goals would probably be something that’s legacy related, may it be inheriting something (finance, career, skills, connections, etc.) or starting a new legacy (starting your own company, building network from scratch, starting to take up a very specific and niche role, etc.). I would also say that you’ll need to look straight ahead. The Emperor can’t afford to look around, only focusing on the path that’s in front of him where he tread carefully but boldly, carving the steps out for his people to follow (somewhat a legacy too). Do not be distracted, do not easily give in to temptation.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Eight of Cups rx

First thing I’d like to say is that your journey is going to be lonely. It’s not just going on that journey alone, but it’s something akin to a burden or a mission that you can’t tell anyone. You may have tried telling a family or a friend about it, and they don’t think it’s a big deal, resulting in you swallowing the pain alone, no longer willing to trust. The disappointment and disillusionment has uhhhh thicken around you. Think of them as fogs around you, and as they thicken, the more difficult it is for you to see your path. That. Communication with boundaries is very important for you right now, where you can put a balance between the socialisation and exposing yourself thoughtlessly. It’s difficult for some people, where you unknowingly overshare too much. Learn from it, find out a way that works for you. Open yourself to things, allow yourself to be open to inspirations from things and people around you.

Overall energy: Strength, Six of Swords rx

You’re strong, knowing where to go and how to reach your destination. Just that whatever that’s happening around you is preventing you from moving forward. You’re holding a lot of things back because whatever situations you’re in, but your passion and faith in life is strong enough to support you. You are doing your best with whatever you have right now, looking for opportunities in life’s challenges and learning the lessons. It is a difficult time, but have faith that things will turn for the better. Prepare your boat, and once the wind blows, set sail.

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Pile 3: No matter what I’m going my way, to the place I’ve dreamed of every night

One card to represent you: The Chariot

I would say that you’re someone who’s goal oriented. You know what you want and you'll work towards it. I would also say that you may be impatient at times, wanting to achieve things in a short time. It feels like you feel that you're running out of time, especially when you compare yourself to your peers. For example, people your age have been talking about career advancement while you're still figuring out what to do, or your friends are married with kids and you're still single and feeling miserable. You know you're on the right path at your own pace, and you appreciate your days and blessings, but sometimes you just feel anxious about being “left out”. 

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Three of Swords rx

You expect yourself to be healed from your wounds and traumas soon. You want it quick, you want it urgently, and you’re pushing yourself far more than you can deal with at the moment. You probably may have gone through some childhood traumas and you’ve left them as they are. It may be due to the society or environment you grew up thinking that whatever you experienced was normal (Asian families, perhaps?). You thought vulnerability was a fault until recent years, where you learn to accept and honour them, and from there you proceed to heal your inner wounds. You may have thought that once you’re done with Phase 1, you can immediately complete Phase 2 of your healing, and… Sorry to break it to you, it’s not gonna happen that way.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Two of Swords

It feels like you’re asking yourself the question: Am I healed or not? And your answer to it is either yes or no. Which… Is not how healing works. Healing is a process; a journey, not a mathematical equation which is either right or wrong. You may think you’ve been healed but in reality, you may not have achieved that yet. You’re not seeing a lot of things yet, which is why you need to rely on your senses, especially hearing. You need to learn to listen to the whispers of others, may it be your friends or your guides. You are not alone, you have people accompanying you through this journey because you are loved. Healing is not linear, so take your time.

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - The Fool rx, The Devil

I would say that you have expectations and you may think you’re living up to that, believing that you’re better and you live like it. … Lemme rephrase myself: You think you’re alright and that you’re living as how you expect yourself to be when you are not. It’s like you’re putting on a mask to deceive yourself and to show others that you’re doing fine. There’s this saying that you’ll need to fool yourself first if you want to fool your enemy. That’s you. You’re pretending and putting up an act, which will eventually cause your downfall to be greater than what you’ve experienced. Your insecurities are devils in disguise, which you probably know of. Now that you know of this side of yours, you will need to think and use your brain to figure out as you go. 

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Four of Swords rx, Eight of Pentacles rx

I would say that you’re very action based, and you think a lot. One thing that’s special about you is that you know when to stop thinking. Unlike most people, once they start thinking, they spiral into their thoughts and have no way out. You, however, know when to stop and how to pull yourself out from that headspace. From there, you then use that energy and time to focus on earth-themed items, such as career, work, fame, building something, etc. You’re basically the healthy combination of brain and physical energy, making sure both of these aspects are taken care of, working on them when others are still trapped in their heads. If you think that you do not have this trait, maybe you can try it out. I believe all can achieve this, but your pile is able to tap into it easily as compared to others.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Four of Pentacles

Learning to focus on yourself, to put yourself first before others. I’m not sure if you’ve been called selfish for putting your needs above others, but you’re not. You can only share when you have extra/excess, and that’s when sharing becomes something comfortable and meaningful. Remember, you are not supposed to burn yourself to warm others. Let yourself have your own time, build connections with yourself and with others. Collaboration is something that you can work on, may it be work related projects or personal projects. Passion projects are things that will help you redirect your energy, and for you to keep yourself occupied when you realise your thoughts are jumbled up again with the excess energy.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Three of Cups

I would say that you will need to build your own home with people you trust in, with people you’re comfortable with. You may have gone through quite some family trauma, and your safe space may no longer lie with it. Remember, home is where the heart lies. As long as you feel comfortable, comforted and safe, you are home. For some reason, you may have been seen as the black sheep of your family. You have been told that you have great communication skills (may also have 3H placements), and it would be great if you know how to use that skill to its full potential. There’s more you can do with it, may it be drawing people to you, or drawing people away from people who harmed you. 

Overall energy: Judgement, Wheel of Fortune rx

I feel that you tend to judge yourself a lot, or people may have passed their biased judgement onto you when you’ve decided to not go their way. There are also some… Remnants? Of feelings of unjust? You have felt that life was unfair and things have not been going your way. Though you may have put that thought aside real quick cuz you believe in yourself more than what the stars or fate has said. You prefer to take things into your own hands instead of whatever higher beings there are out there, and I’d say that you’re doing a good job with it.

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Pile 4: I admit it now life is a long marathon, the difference is that I set the course

One Two cards to represent you: The High Priestess, The Lovers rx

The first word that came to me is intuitive. You know you’re intuitive and you have used your intuition on a lot of things that came into your life, may it be making decisions or using it to discern those who come close to you with agendas. But still, you probably have some… Troubles with love? Not necessarily romantic ones, but platonic and love towards yourself as well. For some reason, I feel that you may feel called to be a lover. It can be self love, but personally, I feel that the energy here is more outwards, where you are supposed to love others, and yet there’s no one out there deserving of your love. Some of you may have 12H or Pisces placement as well, which may give others an impression of being dreamy or drunk in love. (My logical head thinks so, but for some reason I’m feeling that heart-clenching feel, as well as a sense of loss. Not sure how to phrase it well tbh.)

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - The Moon rx

Weirdly, for some reason, I’d say that you expect yourself to be… Different? You know you’re different and that you may sometimes feel that you are unable to align with how this world functions. Hence, when you feel you’re becoming too “earthly”, you may feel torn, because you expect yourself to do or achieve “unearthly” things, eg: to be a spiritual guru, to do reiki healing, etc. You are definitely one pile that is more prone to the spiritual side of the world, where you’ll often have a nagging feeling at the back of your head when you’re not doing anything of that sort. 

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - The Empress

It is definitely something achievable, that is, if you focus on healing yourself as well as creating meaningful bonds with the people around you. One of the main themes of The Empress is to nurture, which you are called to not only nurture the people around you, but also to nurture yourself. You will also need to be with the right group of friends who will be able to help you flourish (and of course, you helping them as well, as this is a mutual relationship). I honestly don’t know what else to say about this because the message is repetitive, and I think you know it as well. 

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - Two of Cups rx

This card in this position talks about tension, deception or even lack of trust between you and your spiritual side. For some reason, I’m feeling that you are holding too strongly to a certain thought or a belief. It causes stress and fatigue, making you lose hope in the process. Instead of taking a forced “temporary” approach, it would be better for you to reflect on what it brings you, and to let go of past beliefs that no longer serve you. Two of Cups is supposed to be a card of joyful celebration, a union between two parties. You will need to turn the card upright. It’s time to release the old and embrace the new, only then you’ll be able to grow into your very best self.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Six of Swords rx

I would say that one of your strengths is special, because it is not so to a lot of people. You do not let your problems push you, but you work your way with it. See, most people’s first reaction is to solve the problem or to run away from it, but you choose to live with it and rebuild your life around it. There’s a part of you that is unwilling to make your life a mess by running and avoiding the problems. You surrender. Not in a negative way. You surrender the pain and stress, you abandon the old, limiting beliefs, and you live in the present. The best way I can describe it is… It’s like you’re a monk, where you live with whatever that is happening around you. Waves (troubles and challenges) are around you, and you’re on the boat, keeping yourself calm, not bothering with what the world is doing, keeping your calm. It's like you know there's a life after death and that you're working on it right now instead of being present in the current earthly life.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Ace of Wands

Ace of Wands is the first card in the Minor Arcana. What I’m picking up from here is that you’ll need to create a new beginning for yourself. I wouldn’t say it’s The Fool kinda journey, because The Fool’s journey is of meeting people and learning the lessons on the way. Your kind of journey is understanding what you want, seizing opportunities, and turning your enthusiasm into actions. You have an idea of where you want to go, when you want to reach there, how you’re going to move, with whom you will want to travel on this journey. I would also say that it would be a great time for you to filter your circle so that you’ll be able to go on this journey with the least distraction.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Four of Pentacles rx This is a time where you should consider relaxing your mind and remember that you cannot control what others are doing or holding. You know you have enough, and instead of focusing on the action of others, focus on yourself instead and how you can block out the noises. With this done, you will be able to move from a period of control and fear and anxiety to a stage of being more open (and blank). It’s like… Once you are able to clear your mind, those noises no longer mean a thing to you, and you’ll be able to focus on yourself and what you want to achieve. I’m also picking up words like “zen”, “calm” and “enlightenment”. … Yeah the word “monk” too.

Overall energy: The Devil, The Chariot

I am feeling some self-sabotaging themes here. It may sound difficult to accept but I do think The Devil here talks about you, where you’re embodying some traits, thoughts or beliefs that you’re unwilling to let go. Y’know how some things turn toxic when there’s excess or if you hold onto it for too long? That. It’s burdening you and you probably are actively trying to run away from it. I’m having the image of you being annoyed at how you’re not progressing, and you end up flipping the table, scattering all the plans you’ve made for yourself. Probably some big changes are bound. Clear up the space and welcome your spirit guides to show up in wondrous and unexpected ways.

[hidden-snow]

✦┈⋆┈ ⋞ 〈 Ｒｕｎｎｉｎｇ Ｈｏｍｅ ｔｏ Ｙｏｕ 〉 ⋟ ┈⋆┈✦

Summary // You thought your relationship was as special to him as it was to you. You thought he loved and cherished you as much as you loved and cherished him. But when his family leaves the Omatikaya and all he has to offer is ‘I’m sorry’ when you beg and plead for him to stay with you, you realize that you were so, so wrong about him. Heartbroken and defeated, a girl barely seventeen years old, you decide that you will never love again. After all, it hadn’t meant anything to him. Years later and you are the best of the best. A strong warrior and an even better hunter, you provide for your people in every way except for a child to add to the next generation of Omatikaya people. They respect your wishes but you can hear the whispers. You can feel the concerned gazes from your parents, too old to conceive a sibling to make up for your lack of children. When he comes back, it throws you through a loop. Handsome, mighty, and different, he comes to you right away. But you promised yourself.

Warnings // Angst, a bit of stalker Neteyam, some fluff, mentions of drinking, heartbreak

Word count // 1,506

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

He was everywhere.

When you were supposed to be training the younger hunters, when you were telling stories to the children, when you were eating meals with the rest of the clan.

No matter where you were, you could count on him being nearby, keeping an eye on you as if you were his and only his.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the thought, mainly because you knew that, no matter what, you would never belong to anyone. Especially not to him.

Though… in a way, it was also kind of sweet that he cared so much about who you were around. Annoying as it was, he was very eager to show that he still cared about you despite all these years of separation.

No matter what, though, you were determined to not allow him to get into your head again. Not this time. Not ever again.

Gritting your fists, you set yourself into the mindspace of the task you had to do now; some one on one training with a young student who was currently a bit farther behind than the others.

Walking along the trodden dirt path, you came to a clearing surrounded by thickly growing plants, trees towering over you as if reaching to the blue hued sky above. You draw in a slow breath, letting it out slowly as you wait for your student to show up, bow resting against your back.

“I hope you don’t mind. I convinced Ìtseì to let me have this training session with you. I could use some practice with you.”

Exasperated, you turn to level Neteyam with your best, coldest glare, only to find that he was unfazed by your hostility. He simply smirked back at you, raising an eyebrow as he pulled his bow from behind his back.

“Are you sure you still know how to use a bow? After all that time, swimming with the reef people… it probably left you extremely rusty.”

“Ah, there’s that spitfire I’ve been waiting for,” Neteyam responded, notching one of his feathered arrows. Intricately carved, delicate and deadly. Quick to pierce hearts, sharp enough to end a life in one shot.

Just like how he ended the life you’d had before.

You shake your head, regathering your thoughts to what you needed to do.

“You’re a big boy. Help yourself. Since Ìtseì did not show up, I will go and hunt by myself,” you respond, turning your back to the male, fully intent on hunting alone.

Except, he didn’t leave you alone.

You were beginning to wonder if this was a behavioral pattern that had been forged into him by his father from a young age. After all, Neteyam followed Jake around all the time as a child, ready and waiting for orders or instructions that only he could take care of.

That had to be the reason for his stalker-like behavior.

Pushing aside heavy, large leaves and small viney shrubs, you could hear him behind you, despite the fact that he was very obviously trying hard not to make a sound.

“Following me is not going to get you on my good side,” you warn softly, throwing the comment over your shoulder aggressively as you walked a bit faster.

He wasn’t discouraged, nor did he seem to be bothered by your sharp words or your dismissive behavior. In fact, it seemed to spur him on more, his footsteps speeding up so that he could catch up with you.

“Come on, Y/n. Can’t we just talk? You and I, together, like we used to do. Please.”

His fingers wrap around your wrist and you yank away, at the same time swinging your bow at him, instinctive training kicking in. He ducked down, barely missing the slash of your bow in the area where his face had been mere seconds ago.

“Do not touch me, Neteyam te Sulli Tsyeyk’itan. I am not your yawne. I am not your childhood friend. I am not your toy or your plaything. You have destroyed everything we once had. You have crumbled every bridge that sat between you and I. I want nothing to do with you.”

This time, he falters, a look of horror and shock on his face. But you aren’t really sure if that was directed towards the fact that you’d tried to hit him or the words that had just spilled from your lips.

You turn away to hide the tears that were now burning hot and fresh in your eyes, refusing to allow him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. He didn’t even deserve that.

Your feet move before you can think about it, taking you rapidly farther away from the stunned form of the boy who’d ruined your life. You were certain he’d leave you alone now. After all, he was smart, quick to understand the things people were telling him.

Or at least, he used to be.

Your ears twitch to the sound of him running to catch up once more and you sigh, rolling your eyes. Obviously, the ways of the water have dumbed down that intelligence, considering how desperate he was to ignore your stinging-sharp words and your ice-cold disposition towards him specifically.

“Y/n, stop walking.”

You don’t belong to him. You never did. So why did your feet falter in your path? Why did you hesitate to keep going, even as you turn to face him once more?

“Open up, Y/n. I’m back. I’m here. I’m here and I want to talk to you. I want to fix what I broke before. Please, let me explain myself to you.”

There’s a hint of desperation in that smooth tone of his, a soft drop of pleading that didn’t belong to the body that spoke the words. He’d never been the begging type before.

You open your mouth, prepared to respond in the same way as before, when a sharp sting erupted in your cheek and you tumbled to the ground in an ungraceful heap.

Your hand slides up, cupping your sore cheek, as you stare up in shock at the male looming over you, a new expression on his face. Unreadable and hard to pick apart.

“I just want you to hear me out. Just onc- oomph!”

Before he’s finished, you’re launching yourself at him, slamming your shoulder into his abdomen and knocking him to the ground, the soft grass beneath your feet doing nothing to cushion his fall.

“You don’t deserve my attention!” you shriek, grabbing and yanking at his braids as you wrestle him in an attempt to win the little brawl. He’s fighting back, which you had to give him credit for. It wasn’t something you’d expected from him.

Rolling in the grass, disrupting plants and innocent, wandering wildlife, biting and scratching and pulling at anything you can get your hands on, you realize he’s not going to let you win easily.

And for once in your life since he left, you welcome this. Everyone else had been taking it easy on you, seeing as how you were pretty destroyed by his departure. Things had been done for you if they seemed to be too hard. Your parents had doted on you for the past three years, trying to make up the love that you’d lost.

You needed a challenge.

And he was providing it.

It was exciting, exhilarating, full of promises of a frustrated loss or an awarding victory.

You put your all into this little sparring match, putting all of your otherwise-useless training to use. When it became clear that he was doomed to lose, he still refused to fold, fighting until the very end.

When he tapped out, the sensation of a satisfactory win filled you up inside and you couldn’t help the grin that began to grow on your face.

You sat in the grass, working to catch your breaths, silence spreading out between the small clearing you’d both found yourself in.

It was nice, peaceful and calm. Like the days you’d shared as children, playing in the streams under careful adult watch or laying in the grass and staring up at the sky as his siblings ran around picking flowers and playing games.

“Please, talk to me,” he murmured after a while, breaking the soft, gentle silence that had begun to fill you with melancholy as you reminisced on the days of your childhood.

You stand slowly, dusting yourself off as he watched you, trying to come up with the right way to explain yourself.

“I can’t,” you respond, finally meeting his gaze.

“Neteyam, you cannot fix this. Not now. Possibly not ever. I’ve moved on with my life. Don’t you think it is about time that you moved on with yours as well?”

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even bother to get up, and you grab your discarded items from the ground, not saying another word.

Yet… as you walk away, you realize with a sinking heart, that perhaps, you’d not gotten over him as much as you wanted to believe you had.

Taglist // @earthling55