#and had a ton of star scales

[otiksimr]

I'm having... A VISION! That you just might draw Fatespeaker! (If you're still doing those Canon Requests.)

Ahh. A divine vision speaketh

[charyou-tree]

I need people to understand that Uranium is an eldritch horror

I'm not talking about radiation, or nuclear weapons, or anything that you can do with uranium, I mean its mere existence on Earth is a reminder of cosmic horrors on a scale you can barely conceive of.

When a nuclear power plant uses Uranium to boil water and spin steam turbines to keep the lights on, they're unleashing the fossilized energy of the destroyed heart of an undead star.

Allow me to elaborate:

In the beginning, there were hydrogen and helium. The primordial fires of the Big Bang produced almost exclusively the two lightest elements, along with a minuscule trace of lithium. It was a start, but that's not much to build a universe out of. Fortunately, the universe is full of element factories. We call them "stars".

Stars are powered by nuclear fusion, smooshing light elements together to make heavier elements, and releasing tremendous amounts of energy in the process, powering the star and making it shine. This goes on for millions to billions of years depending on the stars mass (although not how you might think, the bigger stars die young), the vast majority of that time spent fusing hydrogen into yet more helium. Eventually, the hydrogen in the core starts to run low, and if the star is massive enough it starts to fuse helium into carbon, then oxygen, neon, and so on up through successively heavier elements.

There's a limit to this though:

This chart shows how much energy is released if you were to create a given element/isotope out of the raw protons and neutrons that make it up, the Nuclear Binding Energy. Like in everyday life, rolling downhill on this chart releases energy. So, starting from hydrogen on the far left you can rapidly drop down to helium-4 releasing a ton of energy, and then from there to carbon-12 releasing a fair bit more.

But, at the bottom of this curve is iron-56, the most stable isotope. This is the most efficient way to pack protons and neutrons together, and forming it releases some energy. But once its formed, that's it. You're done. Its already the most stable, you can't get any more energy out of it, and in fact if you want to do anything to it and make it into a different element you're going to have to put energy in.

So, when a massive star's core starts to fill up with iron, the star is doomed. Iron is like ash from the nuclear fire that powers stars, its what's leftover when all the fuel is used up. When this happens, the core of the star isn't producing energy and can't support itself anymore and catastrophically collapses, triggering a supernova explosion which heralds the death of the star.

What kind of stellar-corpse gets left behind depends again on how massive the star is. If its really big, more than ~30 times the mass of the sun and its probably going to form a black hole and whatever was in there is gone for good. But if the star is a bit less massive, between 8-25 solar masses, it leaves behind a marginally less-destroyed corpse.

The immense weight of the outer layers of the star falling down on the core compresses the electrons of the atoms into their nuclei, resulting in them reacting with protons and turning them all into neutrons, which creates a big ball of almost pure neutrons a couple miles across, but containing the entire mass of the star's core, 3-5 sun's worth.

This is the undead heart of the former star: a neutron star.

If, like many stars, this one wasn't alone but had a sibling, it can end up with two neuron stars orbiting each other, like a pair of zombies acting out their former lives. If they get close enough together, their intense gravity warps the fabric of spacetime as they orbit, radiating away their orbital energy as gravitational waves, slowing them down and bringing them closer together until they eventually collide.

The resulting kilonova explosion destroys both of the neutron stars, most likely rendering the majority of what's left into a black hole, but not before throwing out a massive cloud of neutron-rich shrapnel. This elder-god blood-splatter from the collision of the undead hearts of former stars contains massive nuclei with hundreds to thousands of neutrons, the vast majority of which are heinously unstable and decay away in milliseconds or less. Most of their decay products are also unstable and decay quickly as well, eventually falling apart into small enough clusters to be stable and drift off into the universe becoming part of the cosmic dust between the stars.

However,

Some of the resulting massive elements are merely almost stable. They would like to decay, but for quantum-physics reasons decaying is hard and slow for them, so they stick around much longer than you might expect. Uranium is one such element, with U-238 having a half-life of around 4.5 billion years, about the same as the age of the Earth, and its spicier cousin U-235 which still has a respectable 200 million year half life.

These almost-stable isotopes were only able to be created in the fiery excess of energy in a neutron star collision, and are the only ones that stick around long enough to carry a fraction of that energy to the era where hairless apes could figure out that a particular black rock made of them was emitting some kind of invisible energy.

So as I said at the beginning, Uranium is significant because it stores the fossilized energy of the destroyed heart of an undead star, and we can release that energy at will if we set it up just right.

When you say it like that, is it any shock that the energy in question will melt your face off and rot your bones from the inside if you stay near it too long?

[harmonictechnicality]

model!steve and voice actor!eddie

part 2 here | ao3 link here

Eddie chose a career in voice acting to avoid shit like this.

Forced socializing. Schmoozing with hotshot directors who are used to everyone kissing their ass until their lips bleed. And Eddie doesn’t do that shit. 

… Okay yeah sure, Eddie kisses asses. But only in the literal, consensual kind of way. Usually after a few mediocre dinner dates, at least.

But this particular fuckhole of a director is insisting that Eddie attends the production shoot of the commercial that he’ll be narrating for. Which is weird - that’s not how this process typically goes. Eddie gets the script and records it in his studio. Easy peasy.

“I do things a little differently with my projects.” The director sneers into the phone’s speaker. Eddie silently gags at the oozing amounts of ego on this guy. “I want to immerse you into my vision.”

Ew. Eddie would rather immerse himself into a nap, but whatever. A job is a job.

“Understood.” Eddie agrees with minimal teeth-clenching. “I’ll be on set shortly.”

The phone clicks dead with nothing but a chuckle from the guy. No ‘goodbye,’ no ‘thank you.’ Rude… but that’s kind of an industry standard, so why did Eddie expect anything different?

He folds the script into his back pocket, throws on a shirt that screams ‘Los Angeles disaster gay,’ and makes his way to the studio lot.

Fucking yay. 

Upon arrival, the director immediately escorts Eddie into the green room. Rambles on about needing him to meet the lead model for this commercial.

“Isn’t he just posing with the product?” Eddie lets his snarkiness run loose with that question, knows it right away.

Luckily, the guy is too busy snapping at a crew member to notice. “You’ll be voicing his character’s inner narrations.”

“Right.”

“And I want your tone to be seamless with the energy that he’s giving in this shoot. Got it?”

“Loud and clear.” Mostly loud.

The director swings open the door and reveals maybe the most cosmically beautiful person that Eddie has ever seen.

“Eddie, this is Steve.” The director says. “Steve, this is Eddie.”

Models are beautiful people, that’s the goddamn gig. Makeup, no makeup. Photoshop, no photoshop. They just look better than the general population and society accepts that as a fact.

But Eddie is a grubby little voice actor that burrows himself up in his boxy apartment for days. Very little sunlight, very little human interaction, and a shit ton of takeout.

Long story short, he doesn’t get out much. So this? Seeing a biblically hot heartthrob in the flesh? With his own two eyes? It’s knocking him into deep space. Sending him into an astral projection without sticking a tablet on his tongue first.

“Nice to meet you, man.” Steve holds out his hand while someone brushes more powder onto his shiny, glowy skin. God, that’s the best damn skin Eddie has ever seen. Powder be damned, Steve doesn’t need it’s chalky finish.

Eddie shakes himself out of this spell, takes Steve’s hand like he’s somehow worthy of touching him. “Yeah, you too.”

Lame. So lame. On a scale of one to Star Wars prequels, his response is the CGI in Attack of the Clones. ‘Yeah, you too?’ Ugh, what a dumbass.

The director tells them to get acquainted and to be on set in ten minutes. Ten minutes. Eddie has to be convincingly normal for ten whole minutes. Pfft, that’s laughable, but he’ll give it a shot.

“That guy’s a total asshat.” Steve grumbles.

Oh. Eddie could smother him in kisses for saying that. Lick Steve clean of all that stupid powder and probably die of talc poisoning. Death By Licking a Model is one hell of a way to go.

“Yeah.” Find some new words, Munson. “Major asshat. But he happens to be paying my bills this month, so technically, he’s my favorite major asshat.”

“Oh, same.” Steve laughs. It’s fucking glorious too. Eddie kind of wishes he had brought his microphone so that he could capture such a wonderful sound with high quality recording software. Is that creepy? Maybe he should dial it back. 

... As if. This guy’s hair is sculpted with effortless perfection and his shoulder blades could slice through a French baguette. No way Eddie can dial it back or keep it together.

“So you’re doing the voice work on the commercial, right?” Steve asks.

‘Yup.” Eddie shoves both hands into his pockets. “Indeed I am.” 

Okay, that was borderline Yoda. Get a grip.

Steve seems unfazed though. “That’s cool. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with.”

“Thanks.” Eddie smiles warmly. Nerves mellowing out. “And I can’t wait to see you in action out there.”

“Hope I can give you some good inspiration.” And Steve winks, legit winks at Eddie. Does it like it’s normal too, like he winks at everybody. He probably winks at nuns just to see if he can get them to consider conversion.

Eddie is so hopeless. Fucking tragic at this point.

They walk into the studio and are greeted by a somber, archaic set design. There’s a massive throne in the middle that is draped with fur. 

It’s… tacky. That’s the nicest adjective Eddie has to describe it. Tacky bullshit.

“I thought this was for a cologne ad.” Eddie says, eyeing the snowy backdrop.

Steve nods. “It is.”

“So what’s with the secondhand Game of Thrones set?”

“Mr. Asshat thinks this is his cinematic debut.”

Eddie snorts. Loves that he already has inside jokes with this beautiful, beautiful creature. “Someone should tell Mr. Asshat that this is visual plagiarism.”

“Nah.” Steve runs his hand over the tacky fur piece. Smirks to himself as he speaks. “I say we let him suffer.”

Eddie’s legs wobble. “Damn, you’re hot.”

He sounds ridiculously uncool, so breathy and gone. But Steve shrugs in a non-pitying kind of way, so maybe Eddie's uncoolness is excused. Or expected.

While the camera and lighting crew finalize their positions, Steve takes off his robe, revealing his costume.

Torn, muddied pants. Ripped and clawed to shreds. A billowy white top that’s completely unbuttoned. Un-laced? Eddie’s not entirely sure about the mechanics - just knows that Steve’s chest is out, that’s all he can focus on.

There’s a dented crown that the stylist places next to the throne, right at Steve’s feet. It’s shimmery yet tarnished, catches the light in a kaleidoscope effect.

The product is called The Fallen King, so deductive reasoning tells Eddie that Steve is meant to be the physical embodiment of this scent. He recalls something in the script about his title being slandered by promiscuity and forbidden love. Apparently they’ve bottled up that smell into a cologne. 

Do people really want to smell like a dethroned monarch? That’s a thing? Huh.

Just to make the sexual torture even more unbearable, Eddie gets to spectate alongside Mr. Asshat himself. Which also means that Eddie almost has a center view of Steve’s performance.

Cause that’s exactly what he’s giving. A performance. A full display production of his body, his face. His whole godlike essence. 

It’s unfair how fucked Eddie is from watching Steve pose. He can hold the oddest positions without budging a single tendon. So still. Durable. Strong.

Every last thought in Eddie’s head is impure from that observation. He wants to wrap his fingers around Steve’s muscles until he finally moves, twitches. Eddie wants to watch as Steve’s pretty lips part, falling open with sighs. See how long it takes for those sighs to turn into moans.

Steve slumps back into the throne, legs spread obscenely far apart. His gaze droops low and dark, practically eye-fucking the camera. It’s crazy how jealous Eddie is of that stupid inanimate object. The things he would do to get eye-fucked by that golden sex god up there…

His internal porno gets interrupted by a new pose. A wicked one. Steve is on his knees now, looking up into the camera lens. He sinks into the dreamiest expression. Looks dazed, all spaced-out and helpless. Eddie kneads at the growing heat in his pants with the heel of his palm. Hopes it’s not fucking obvious that he’s so horned up right now.

The director clears his throat and yells over the camera’s constant shuttering. “Can you tilt your head back, Steve?”

And Steve does. So obedient, so exceptional at his job. His head rolls back on his neck, shoulders sagging with the shift of weight.

Eddie is chewing the inside of his cheek, nearly ready to take the horny loss and go jack off in his car. Steve is in the most ideal position now, totally vulnerable. Eddie could fuck him so good like that, let Steve melt into his touch. He’d treat him like treasure, spoil him with dick and praise. Eddie would catch him if his legs give out. Would lick Steve’s kiss-bitten lips until the swelling goes down.

God, Eddie is so sick in the head for conjuring up x-rated scenes like this. In public, surrounded by strangers. Literally on the clock. He seriously needs to get his head checked for having such a whorish imagination.

The shoot ends shortly after that last pose, the one that rocked Eddie’s world. He closes his eyes for a minute, takes a few deep breaths. Tries to inhale some goddamn decency.

“How was it?” Steve heads his way, snaking his arms back into the bathrobe.

Eddie blinks hard. “It was… you were…” And the words stop. Nothing else comes out, his throat is strangled and bare.

Steve gives a soft laugh, nudges Eddie’s arm with his elbow. “Guess you do better when there’s a script in front of you, huh?”

Oh. So he’s pretty and darkly playful? This is too good, too delicious.

Eddie wets his bottom lip, recovers quickly. “I do better when there’s not an earthbound angel in my presence.”

“Wow.” Steve raises both eyebrows. “That’s quite the compliment.”

“Oh come on - you must get compliments all the time.”

“Not like that one though.”

“No?”

Steve takes a step into Eddie’s space. “Definitely not.”

They just stare after that - mostly because it’s Eddie’s turn to speak but words are so secondary when there’s this much beauty to behold. Gazing becomes his top priority.

And before the conversation can lead to an exchange of last names or phone numbers, Steve is rushed off by his agent. Maybe his publicist. Maybe his mom, Eddie has no fucking clue. Just someone taking away his shiny new toy. He sort of feels like reenacting that scene in Cast Away when the volleyball drifts into the ocean. Be dramatic as all hell about this ending.

Eddie doesn’t actually jack off in his car, although he really wants to. No, he decides to use all of his adrenaline and pent-up hormones for the voice recording. It gives his vocals this strained, chesty sound. Sinful and corrupt. Cracking with emotion in certain spots, spiking the volume in all the right ways.

It might be too much, a little bit too suggestive for a lousy cologne advertisement.

But as he listens back, Eddie can’t help but picture Steve. Imagining snapshots of him from every angle, especially the unspeakable ones. The recording barely sounds like a script anymore. It almost sounds like Eddie whispering the lines directly into Steve’s ear. A dirty secret between them.

This is it, he thinks. Sends the audio file to his sound mixer without a second read-through, without a retake. This might be the best voiceover Eddie Munson has ever done.

[multifandom--mess]

Hannigram Fic Recs! pt.2

Here it is, the big fat fic recs post I've been putting off for like two months but at least that means I had time to read a shit ton of fics. I made sure to do a mix of short and long fics this time around since the first part were all long ones. Enjoy!

part 1

》 The Lamb and His Monster by petrodactyl352 (Explicit)(104k)

Will has always been drawn to the macabre. The proverbial flame upon which he has burnt his fragile moth’s wings time and time again, it’s why he had fallen in love with Florence and why he alone seems to see the beauty in the grisly but exquisite work of Il Mostro. But when he meets a young man in the Uffizi Gallery whose sketchbook is filled with nothing but page upon page of intricate renditions of the Primavera drawn in reverent strokes of pencil, he realizes he may not be alone in his fascination with the Monster. As they lift veils and scale forts and slowly begin to understand each other, Will gets a taste of exactly how bright the cinders of intrigue can burn—and how quickly they can kindle into an inferno of obsession.

(Young hannigram in Florence ahhh this is seriously one of the best fics i've ever read it had to be at the top of the list)

》 Spectral Hearts by mattHughdancy (Explicit) (16k)

Will has a meltdown at a crime scene. Guess who’s called in to help.

(Another top fave of mine they are so fucking cute in this fic 🤧 features autistic Will, and Hannibal just loves him so much oh my goddd my heart exploded reading this)

》 lay like a flood spills away by bleakmidwinter (Explicit)(35k)

Will Graham meets Hannibal, a frequent cruiser, at an open-minded nudist lake. Despite his reservations, Will is drawn to him, but is eventually forced to question his mysterious nature when the lakeside regulars start to go missing.

(I loved this one bc what better setting than a nudist lake. This is just gay as hell honestly lmao bc the lake is all dudes and Will is "straight" at the beginning until he meets Hannibal and it's all downhill from there. Definitely give this one a read it had some hilarious moments too)

》 Doing Things That Friends Don't Do by HigherMagic (Explicit) (39k)

A year after the fall, Will and Hannibal have settled into a fairly blissful, domestic harmony. But Will's imagination has never let him simply enjoy what he has - why should it start now?

(Basically Will trying everything in his power NOT to have sex with Hannibal but of course we all know he can't keep it together. They are so horny for each other in this i died laughing so many times. Also this author is such an amazing writer expect multiple recs from them in this post)

》 Railroad Romance by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles (12k)(Explicit)

Hannibal is still Hannibal, and Will is still Will. Except Will is not part of the FBI and they meet on a two day train trip from New Orleans to Baltimore.

(A strangers to lovers meet-cute on a train. Lots of fluffy moments and of course train sex ensues)

》 Three Stars by beforethedawn (94k)(Explicit)

Three months after the fall, Jack finally tracks them down in Canada and Will and Hannibal have to make a run for it, slumming it through America in three star hotels and eating sub par food.

(Hannigram roadtrip!! This fic was so fun I loved it. They take on the identities of some familiar Mads and Hugh characters ;)

》 Unexpected Delight by HigherMagic (Explicit) (61k)

Will has a kink that he’s deeply ashamed of. Unbeknownst to him, Hannibal has the same or a similar/compatible kink. They get together, and Will is going out of his way as he usually does to seem like his sexual tastes are as “normal” as possible. As a result, Hannibal gets the idea that Will is super vanilla and maybe a little prudish, and not wanting to scare him off, is also keeping his kinky side on the DL. This goes on for while, with them each trying super hard to hide how kinky they are and act as “vanilla” as possible, to hilarious results, all while privately thinking the other one would be super freaked out if they knew since they’re obviously so sweet and normal.

(This whole thing is literally ALL smut 😭😭 but Han and Will love each other to death and the sex is so good y'all omg I had to stop reading multiple times to catch my breath)

》 The Substitute by Devereauxs_Disease (Explicit) (10k)

When Hannibal tells Will he's sick, Will is skeptical. Before he knows it, he's laying in a hospital bed and being told he's going nowhere for two weeks. Will is distraught until Hannibal swoops in and offers to take over Will's courses at the FBI Academy. Will doesn't mind Hannibal showing up every night with a home-cooked meal, but he might just resent Hannibal becoming the most popular teacher at the Academy in just two weeks...

(A seaon 1 au if Hannibal wasn't an asshole had told Will about the encephalitis. This is hilarious tho because the students don't like Will no more when he comes back and they keep asking about Hannibal 😭😭 poor Will lmaoo)

》 When This Old Tired Body Wants to Sing by KareliaSweet (Explicit) (7k)

“Fuck me quicker, darling,” he purrs with liquid insincerity, “God forbid you see my face.” Will never touches him unless it is in the dark. In the daylight he is a ghost.

(Will being an asshole and only fucking Hannibal in the dark ugh 🙄 but things work out eventually so don't worry!)

》 Maybe Tomorrow by Shotgun_sinner (Explicit) (26k)

After recovering from their tumble off a cliff, Will agrees to get Hannibal to Portugal, where the good doctor can start a new life for himself. In exchange, Will can take the boat and return to his life, or start over himself. A storm hits on the open water, leaving them stranded somewhere in the Azores. With no one else on the small island, they're forced to work together for survival, and work through their violent past in order to get along.

(A survival au! I LOVED this and author is another fave of mine. I go crazy for a good stranded on a deserted island trope and this did not disappoint. Also there is an insanely funny part where I absolutely DIED. You'll know when you read it 💀💀)

》 I've Always Been A Daughter by air_of_the_Waterfall (44k)(Explicit)

It's been a month since Will and Abigail ran away with Hannibal. Living in a safe Canadian town, Will and Hannibal are free to explore their newfound intimacy and Abigail has a chance at the future she craves. However, upon meeting Hannibal’s sister Mischa and her daughter, loyalties are tested and insecurities run rampant. The Lecters have an undeniably dark past, and as Abigail and Will fall deeper into its truths, Hannibal’s manipulation and misguided love come to light more clearly than ever before.

(This fic is truly a hidden gem I am so glad I found it. Murder family post-mizumono and also MISCHA LIVES. The plot is so well written and I love Mischa's characterization. Definitely give this one a read, yall it is SO GOOD it deserves so much love)

》 Home is Not a Place by Shotgun_Sinner (11k)(Explicit)

Post-Fall, Hannibal recovers from his injuries. Will takes care of him, and their relationship evolves much more easily than Hannibal thought it would. The only issue is that Will is a constant presence, and he hasn't had alone time in three years. It ends up not being an issue at all.

(This one is so sweet. Basically Hannibal wants to jerk off but he can't because Will is just always there and he hardly gets a moment alone and he'll feel bad for telling him to go away 😭😭 but they finally get together in the end

》 Held in the Highest Regard by HigherMagic (12k)(Explicit)

What happens when a group of serial killers pick the absolute worst targets? Will is already having a pretty rough night, since Hannibal proposed to him and Will said 'No' for reasons he still hasn't quite figured out yet. It's not their fault - they couldn't have known - but sometimes people have to learn lessons the hard way, and Will could definitely use some stress relief.

(If you are familiar with the movie 'The Strangers' then you'll really like this one. I reread it like three times it was so good. Shit had me tweaking omg this is like the perfect au for them)

》 Green-Eyed Monster by CestPasDuBaudelaire (53k)(Explicit)

Will and Hannibal have settled in Cuba and, for the past year, they have been living their happily ever after in a small hidden community for retired wanted criminals. However, at the hazard of a gathering, Will is faced with an unbelievable fact, other members of the community may also fancy his monster of a husband. Then comes Will's spiraling, as he learns to come to terms with a disastrous, chaotic and slowly overwhelming possessiveness. And of course, feelings are never easy to deal with, when Hannibal is involved. A smut character study in three acts exploring Will's possessiveness.

(Top!Will my beloved. Don't let the title fool you, this was so fun to read and I love the community for wanted criminals idea. And possessive Will is always a treat ;)

》 Haunted by Anonymous (165k)(Explicit)

Still recovering from their fight with Dolarhyde, Will and Hannibal escape to New Orleans with Chiyoh's help. But Will is still struggling to accept Hannibal and his own darkness, something that Hannibal has every intention of helping him overcome...

(And finally I leave you guys with this monster of a fic. So sad that the author chose to go anon but if they somehow see this I hope they know how much I love this story. Will is struggling and Hannibal is an asshole at certain points but when is he not? Lots of references to Will's past too and some stuff about his mom that's very interesting)

I hope you guys enjoy these stories as much as I did. If you read any and want to discuss my messages and ask box are always open! ♡♡♡

[enby-jellyfish]

All Coiled Up

Male!Naga X GN!Reader (POC friendly)

Pronouns: You/Your

Summary: Cuddling with a naga.

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, me attempting to be poetic, (probably?) inaccurate homesteading and snake biology, reader gets licked/smelled and (gently) bitten

Word Count: 775

A/N: Based on this poll <3

It is a hot spring evening. The first of the year, you note as you trudge up to your cozy little home on the hill. It is the kind of home you dreamed of when you were a little kid. The perfect size and shape, with plenty of windows, filled to the brim with all of your trinkets and a shit ton of plants.

Right beside your home is the farm you spent the whole day working. It has everything you need to be self-sufficient, a big vegetable garden, chickens, sheep, cattle and a beehive.

It has been a busy day, a calf got stuck in a fence and you had to plant plenty of new seasonal crops and do weed control.

Naturally, you are exhausted. You feel your body ache as you rub your neck to try and release some tension. You remind yourself your hard work will be worth it.

Finally you enter your home and lean against the door, closing it and taking a deep breath, your eyes shut. You stay like that for a moment before you hear something, or rather someone, and open your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your beloved naga.

His face is relaxed, eyes closed. His body is coiled up near one of the many windows, bathing in the sunlight of the setting sun. It is something he has been doing since the first warm sunbeams of the year.

You smile to yourself and just drink in the view. He looks so beautiful. The sunbeams kissing his face like they are long lost lovers, now reunited. The beautiful orange and yellow of his scales highlighted by the golden light. It is truly a combination meant to be, serpent and sun. Seeing him so comfortable is truly a sight for sore eyes, capable of warming even the coldest of hearts.

Your naga has a hard time adjusting to the switching of the seasons. A battle between his simultaneously cold- and warmblooded body you suppose.

It has been a few years now since you first found him that one winter night. You had heard a noise coming from your farm and found him half starved in the chicken pen, looking for food and shelter from the snow. You took him in, fed him and helped make him a mock burrow in the shed.

After his brumation period he offered to keep the predators away from your farm in return for your kindness. He never left you after that. You slowly found yourself growing to like him. This later turned to love, which was reciprocated with open arms and a warm smile that made his eyes twinkle like stars.

You remind yourself that you have been staring unashamedly for quite a bit now and walk into the room. Disturbed by the noise of your footsteps on the wooden floors he lifts his head and blinks lazily at you, first with his brille and then with his eyelids.

"Finally, I was getting worried you'd keep working until the sun had long set. Come" He extends an arm to you.

"Let me clean up first, I smell."

"I don't mind..." He raises his eyebrows flirtatiously and stares at you through his eyelashes. He changes his position to face you, chin on crossed arms on his coils.

You sigh, knowing you can't resist that gorgeous face.

His face lights up as you walk over. He opens his arms and loosens his coils just enough for you to get in.

"Just for a minute." You say, knowing it won't be for just a minute.

"Of course, my love." He purrs smugly, also knowing it won't be for just a minute.

You lay on his coils, your back against his chest. As you get comfortable he wraps himself around you. The whole experience feels tight but not suffocating, his scales are smooth and have a cooling effect on your skin. It feels safe and comforting, like being wrapped up in a giant weighted blanket.

You close your eyes, slowly relaxing into his embrace as he gently rubs your arms. You feel yourself being soothed to sleep by the soft lullaby of his breathing.

Your journey to dreamland is suddenly interrupted by the feeling of a forked tongue darting out to taste your shoulder.

You smile at the ticklish feeling. "Pervert." You mutter, not opening your eyes.

He chuckles lowly. "Nothing perverted about enjoying your mate's scent. Especially when mine smells as good as you do." He playfully bites at your shoulder.

You scoff and let out a laugh at his animalistic antics. He laughs with you, slightly tightening his grip on you.

Masterlist

Thank you for reading <3

[stinkyturd]

Sweet Wishes

Haru Sagara/Reader

Comments: Spicy? At what point do I say it's NSFW? Would have made this longer guys, but I got a Fever Dreams Chappie to get on. Featuring 90's classic anime nosebleeds. Some of you may not be old enough to get it, bahaha.

"Did you ever find your soul mate, Dandelion?"

Towa sits with you under the stars near the Jabberwock House. The two of you had been sprawled out in the grass, looking for constellations, until the ball of sunshine popped the random question on you. Towa turns his head to meet your gaze, wearing an angelic smile. You wonder what prompted him to ask, as it had been months since he first brought it up.

"I think so," You reply. And you did, but it was more wishful thinking than anything.

Towa sits up, his eyes as wide as saucers. "Really? Who is it?"

"Well, I think it's entirely one-sided... so I don't know that soul mate is the right word, then," You explain with an airy laugh, staring up at the night sky.

Towa scoots forward, hovering his face a little too close over yours. "So? Who is it?"

Your eyes meet the Jabberwock vice-captain's again, as his face is now blocking your star gazing. "It's Haru."

Towa blinks, his mouth hanging open in awe at your admission. "Haru...?"

"Yup. He's really grown on me," You add.

You weren't sure exactly when you had first realized it. It was a gradual build up. After you were inspector for Jabberwock, you found yourself helping out Haru a lot when you had free time. The eccentric Captain had a ton on his plate and the other two members of Jabberwock didn't really pull their weight like Haru did, so you decided to drop by one afternoon. When you so quickly picked up on the routine and memorized all the anomalies feeding schedules and clean up times, Haru timidly asked you to return whenever you were available.

"Does he make your heart flutter, Dandelion?" Towa asks, tilting his head curiously.

"Yeah..." You say with a nod. "Haru's very caring and sweet. I like working with him and he's so easy to talk to. Plus, his nurturing nature towards the anomalies here really does something for me. I don't have a Daddy kink, but if I could call anyone Daddy, it'd be him. Ya know?"

Towa didn't know. He nods anyways.

"I've tried flirting with him, but it usually goes over his head. Or he's just swerving me," You ramble, mindlessly running your fingers through the grass at your side.

Towa hums, his expression pensive. Tilting his head up, he looks at the sky. "Dandelion, look...! It's a shooting star." The Jabberwock vice-captain points at said star's location.

You follow his line of sight and he's right. "It is, isn't it?"

"Make a wish, Dandelion."

"Hmm... I wish Haru would notice me. As a potential romantic interest," You say aloud.

Towa giggles. "If you say it out loud, it may not come true."

"Whoops. Maybe, next time."

"That's okay," Towa starts, looking back down at you. "I think I can help make your wish come true."

"For real?" You wonder what the little ball of sunshine has in mind.

Towa nods, getting to his feet. "I think so."

"Haru, (Y/N) says you're her soul mate."

Haru sits on the floor in the main living area of the Jabberwock house, portioning out bags of feed for the next day. The Captain is currently concentrating on resetting the scale he is using for the task and the darn battery must have been going out, because the tare function had been acting up.

"That's nice, Towa," Haru replies, though it's evident he's not really listening. The red-head sighs in exasperation, flipping over the scale and opening the back compartment that held the battery.

You had already left for the night back to the cathedral and Towa is determined to get the ball rolling with making your wish come true.

"Did you really hear me?" Towa persists, peering over his shoulder.

Haru pulls out the dead battery from the scale. "Yes, yes I did! Now, can you help me with this please, Towa? There's batteries in the drawer by the kitchen sink."

"Hmph..." Towa puffs out his cheeks. Towa knows Haru didn't hear him, but he goes to get the batteries for the Captain, anyway. Once he pulls two out of the drawer and brings them back, he holds them out to Haru in the palm of his hand.

"Thanks, Towa!" Haru takes them from him, his lips pulling into an appreciative smile. The Jabberwock Captain makes haste to change them out so he can be done portioning within the hour.

"(Y/N) says she would call you Daddy," Towa deadpans.

Haru drops the scale in his hands onto the floor, causing the cover he just set to pop out again. The Captain tilts his head up at Towa, his jaw going slack. "W-W-WHAT...?!"

Towa beams, nodding fervently.

"T-TOWA...! T-That's not funny! Don't joke like that, my poor heart will explode! Who will care for Peekaboo, then?" Haru dramatically motions his hand over to the rabbit-like anomaly, sitting idly in it's playpen.

"But it's true," Towa protests.

"Do you even know the implication of that word? You can't just go around saying things like that," Haru chastises, his voice gradually getting calmer as he replaces the cover again.

Towa exhales. "...I didn't say it first."

"If you hold the bags open, I can pour the feed in and we can tag team this faster! Easy peasy," Haru suggests, completely dodging any more talk of the subject.

"...Fine, okay."

Towa resigns, sitting by his Captain's side. He would try again later.

--

Attempt Two.

A few days later, you're once again at the Jabberwock House. It was now evening. After your classes, you had come to help after Haru sent you a text asking for your assistance. You had been there since the early afternoon. The Jabberwock Captain recently had said something about winding down for the night and said he would be right back. Currently, you sat in an armchair looking over your emails on your phone.

"Dandelion."

Glancing up, you find Towa in front of you, holding out his hand.

You shoot him a skeptical glance, but you place your hand in his anyways. "What's up, Towa?"

"Come with me," Towa urges, gently pulling at your arm. "I have something to show you."

"Uh... sure." That is vague, but unsurprising coming from the source. You get to your feet and allow Towa to pull you along.

Towa drags you around the house for a bit, sprinting in between rooms. At first, you wonder if there is any real destination in mind and by the time you become suspicious enough to ask, the vice-captain stops in front of a door. If you're not mistaken, you're pretty sure it's one of the bathrooms.

You flit your dubious gaze on the white-haired man. "Uh... you need to pee, Towa?"

Towa giggles and shakes his head. The vice-captain opens the door, ushering you in, before shutting it behind you.

"--What the heck, Towa?" You blurt out, tilting your head in the direction of the now shut door behind you.

You hear movement from somewhere within the room. Looking forward, you make an attempt to spot the source of the disturbance.

Okay, so the steam emanating around the room makes it obvious that this bathroom is in use, or had just been used. Directly in front of you is a partition separating the changing area from the soaking area. And you happen to spot a few articles in the hamper just to the side of you that look awfully familiar.

A flashy orange jumpsuit, in particular.

Subconsciously, you think back to Towa's promise a few days ago. He couldn't have...

Footsteps pad from behind the partition, approaching where you stand. You know you should turn heel while you still can, but your pervy temptations take over and you stay grounded. Besides, Towa brought you in here! Anything that happens after is the consequence of circumstances entirely out of your control. You were just an innocent bystander who--

Haru appears from behind the divider, humming a tune that sounds vaguely familiar. Save for the wrapped bandages around his right arm and the small towel around his waist, he's completely nude. Haru's toned musculature is completely bare for you to admire. All those countless hours tending to the little farmland the young man had cultivated, really paid off. In fact, so much so, you're pretty sure you feel blood draining from your nose. Haru has yet to notice you so far. Right now, he's smiling pleasantly and pulling his clean clothes off a hook attached to the wall.

It wasn't until Haru slips his shirt on that he spots you from the corner of your eye. The Captain yelps in surprise. "AAAGH! W-WHAT ARE YOU...?!"

You watch as the Jabberwock Captain's face flushes a deep shade of crimson. Your heart beats violently in your chest when you realize he's getting closer to you, his shock faltering into a look of concern.

"(Y/N)...! Y-You're bleeding!" Haru brings a hand to your face, a look of panic on his own. "Are you okay?! I can get you a washcloth to clean that up! Stay right there!"

You stand there like the pervy goblin you are, as Haru rushes on the other side to get a cloth to clean your face. Closing your eyes, you inhale sharply. You thank whatever deity that may be looking out for you. There must be one, for you to have been blessed with such a sight. Or maybe you should just thank Towa.

A very warm, damp, cloth pats your face. You lean into the contact unconsciously, finding comfort in the heat. A hum of contentment escapes you.

"I should have shown you where the rest of the bathrooms are! And I forgot to lock the door, looks like, too," Haru clicks his tongue, making a displeased sound. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this! Ah, I really ought to be more careful."

"Don't apologize. I would have been thoroughly disappointed had I showed up any later," You say. It's meant to be flirtatious, obviously, but…

Haru nods, pressing his lips into a thin line as he finishes cleaning your face. "Right? I wouldn't have been able to find a washcloth for you!”

"..."

"Do you need me to take you to Mortkranken? I can, if you need to," Haru offers, tossing the now bloody cloth into the hamper next to him.

"No, it will be fine. Probably just the uh… weather changes. Between houses," You fib. “... Anyways, I'll let you finish getting ready.”

Haru regards you skeptically, before nodding. “Well, if you're sure!”

–

Attempt Three.

“Hey, honor student.”

“Hey, Ren,” You reply back, not diverting your eyes from the paperwork in front of you. A few days have passed since the bathroom incident took place. At the moment, you were going through vaccination records for the anomalies. You were trying to figure out which ones were due for their newest rounds.

“Here,” Ren says, tossing something at your side. Paper crinkles as the object lands, and you shift your attention to focus on it. It's a bouquet of assorted flowers, wrapped neatly in decorative paper.

You glance up at Ren, your lips quirking into a mischievous smirk. “Trying to confess to me, huh?”

Ren rolls his eyes. He plops down on the loveseat across from you, returning his attention to the handheld gaming device in front of him. “Read the card on it. It's not from me.”

“Oh…? Where'd you find it?” You peel back the paper surrounding the bouquet and pick up the card.

“Was on the porch,” Ren replies simply.

“To (Y/N), with love Haru,” You read aloud.

It's from Haru?

“Why would Haru leave this outside, though…?” You wonder.

“Dunno,” Ren says with disinterest. “Maybe he got shy. He's still outside trimming those weird sheep anomalies.”

Well, if this was really from Haru, you were absolutely ecstatic. A blush crept up your neck at the idea of him arranging the flowers. Did Towa help him? Were they sorted by meaning? Either way, you're going to thank him.

You get to your feet, flowers in hand, with intention to look for the Jabberwock Captain. Exiting the house, you walk through the grass and head towards the part of the field that Haru typically shears at. After a few minutes of searching, you spot him kneeling in the grass as he bags up piles of wool.

“Haru…” You call out as you approach him.

The red-head glances up at you, a smile spreading across his features. Haru stands up, dusting himself off. “Heya, (Y/N)! Whatchya got there?”

Assuming he's being coy, you walk right up to him and wrap your arms around his waist, eagerly pulling him into an embrace. “Thank you, Haru! You're so sweet!”

Haru yelps in surprise at the sudden contact, though he doesn't make any attempt to shy away. “Ah… You're welcome, (Y/N).” The Jabberwock Captain timidly wraps his arms around you, returning the hug. Though, he notably pats your back in a comforting gesture like you're his cousin, or a younger sibling, rather than a love interest. “... But what are you thanking me for, exactly?”

Haru does sound genuinely confused. Shit.

“Oh…” You lean back slightly, looking up at him. “Um… You didn't leave me these flowers?”

“Flowers…?” Haru repeats, his lips downturning slightly.

You step back, reluctantly parting from the contact to hold the bouquet and card out to him. “These?”

Haru takes the card from your hand and reads it. After a beat, the Jabberwock Captain sighs, shaking his head. “I'm sorry, (Y/N). This is Towa's handwriting.”

So, that's it.

Towa must be still trying to fulfill his promise. It's cute and you appreciate it, but you do feel a little disappointed. Maybe you should just be even more direct with Haru to save the vice-captain the trouble?

“Oh, I see,” You mutter, making an effort to sound particularly bummed out by the revelation.

“Yep. I'm not sure what's gotten into that little rascal lately! Maybe he's trying to tell you something, but he's embarrassed?” Haru guesses, but you know he's grasping at straws.

“Towa isn't shy,” You say point blank. It was true. The guy puts his face centimeters away from yours on a regular basis. Haru knows it too!

Haru laughs weakly, scratching the back of his head in a nervous manner. “Well, you caught me there! I'm not sure what's up with him, but I'll let him know that it's not nice to play tricks like that on you.”

“Haru, I think I need to tell you something,” You start with determined resolve.

The Jabberwock Captain's expression shifts into a more serious one, maybe because of the tone in your own voice. A bullet of sweat drips down Haru's cheek. “... Okay. You can tell me anything, (Y/N.)”

Just as you're about to open your mouth, a thunderous noise reverberates from somewhere behind the two of you. Haru flips around to identify the source and you follow his gaze.

For whatever reason– probably a petty one– Towa was in the background summoning lighting on the Capybus again. The now burnt creature groans blaringly, before collapsing to the ground. You feel the earth quake underneath you on impact and Haru immediately begins sprinting towards the vice-captain’s side.

Turning his head for a brief moment, the Jabberwock Captain shouts back at you. “Hold that thought, (Y/N)!”

You watch as Haru begins scolding Towa for his mischievous behavior and makes an attempt to tend to the defeated mammoth sized creature. Needless to say, the whole debacle took longer than anticipated to resolve.

You didn't hold that thought.

–

Attempt Four.

You had just returned to the cathedral not even an hour ago. The classes scheduled today had come to an end and you were now sitting at your couch in your room, reading a book. A vibration on the coffee table breaks your attention from the novel in front of you. Leaning forward, you pick up your phone and notice a text notification from Haru. You open the message without hesitation.

‘Please come over tonight so we can have a date! 🥰🥰🥰’ 2:22 pm

Holy shit. Is this for real?

‘Yes, okay. What time?’ 2:22 pm

You wait with anticipation for probably another several minutes before another text comes in.

‘I'm so sorry, (Y/N)! Please disregard that message. (╥﹏╥) Towa took my phone and just started typing smzjdjwnsvehwjsv.’ 2:27 pm

Damn. Well, you can't say you're too surprised. But why let this opportunity go to waste? You almost confessed to him not that long ago, anyway.

‘Really? I was really hoping it was for real this time 😫💔!’ 2:27 pm

This time, a reply doesn't come for so long that you begin reading again.

‘Haha! Always goofing around, I like that! I'll make sure to put a lock on my phone so it doesn't happen again. Sorry for the trouble! ヅ’ 2:39 pm

‘Haru, I'm not joking.’ 2:39 pm

Surely. SURELY he can't dodge this one. You even left out emojis this time!

A minute or so later, your phone starts ringing. Haru is calling you.

Promptly, you answer, bringing the phone to your ear. “Good afternoon, Haru~”

You hear background noise on the other end. It's distorted, but you're pretty sure it's the nonsensical jabber coming from some of the anomalous farm animals. “(Y/N), I got your text. I wanted to call you to be sure of your tone before responding properly!”

“That's very cute of you,” You flirt shamelessly.

You hear Haru's adorable nervous laughter on the other end. “Aaah, I try? Actually, no wait! I wasn't trying there. Scratch that!”

“I really like you, Haru,” You confess with conviction. “I don't want you to mistake my text as a joke. I wanted to tell you a few days ago, before Towa zapped the Capybus. And Towa knows too.”

You can practically hear the nervous panic in the Jabberwock Captain's voice. “Aah, really? I guess that explains a lot, haha… Okay. Let's do this properly, then.”

You feel your stomach flip at his words.

“You can come over tonight and we can have dinner. How does that sound?” Haru asks.

“That sounds like a dream,” You reply.

“Ahaha, you're such a flatterer…! Come by around seven? I will make us something! But it probably won't be done until around eight, I think. I just don't want to make you walk around past dark!”

Ugh, he's so cute.

“Okay. I would love that, Haru.”

“GYAAH…! Wait, come back here!” You hear Haru shout at an anomalous animal. “Sorry. I'll talk to you later, (Y/N). Gotta bounce!”

“No problem, see you soon.”

With that, you end the call and immediately run towards your wardrobe to plan your outfit for the night.

You arrive at the Jabberwock House around the planned time. Usually, you would just barge in, but this time you're practicing date etiquette, so you knock on the door and wait.

You definitely made sure to put effort into your appearance this time. Before arriving, you went to the trouble of applying makeup and even styling your hair. Most of the time, you didn't do either. After all, when you weren't taking classes or running errands for Darkwick, you were getting all sweaty tending to the farm at Jabberwock.

Accompanying your glam, you chose a modest dress and cardigan to go over it. You wanted to make it obvious that you were serious about this for the dense Captain, but didn't want to do so much that he would find it off putting.

It didn't take long before Haru opened the door. He was wearing his normal casual wear, with an apron over it all. Haru even had oven mitts on, likely from still being in the process of cooking.

God he's so…

“(Y/N)...! Sorry for the wait–” Haru's words die in his mouth, as he assesses your appearance. “Aah… t-this is really happening isn't it?”

You take a step inside, boldly standing just inches from him. It wasn't as if you hadn't gotten close to him before, but this is the first time he understood your intentions.

“Need help?” You ask, your lips tugging into a playful smirk.

Haru closes the door behind you, staring down at you rigidly. “I, uhm… N-No, I can take care of it! You look so cute! I'm sorry, I didn't have much time to dress nicer.”

“You look very handsome, as always,” You assure him.

You can't help but notice that he spritzed some cologne before your arrival. Traces of sandalwood and amber fill your nostrils at the proximity. If Haru had the idea to use cologne, he must have planned on getting close like this, right? The mere notion leaves your heart hammering like a drum.

“Ah, you really think so?” Haru asks and the question sounds sincere. Like he hasn't the faintest clue of the effect he has on you.

“Of course.” You slip your arms around his waist, pulling him into a gentle hug. “It's been a couple of days since I've seen you. I really missed you.”

Haru's heart beats rapidly against his chest, so loud that you can easily hear it right now. “I really missed you too, (Y/N),” The Jabberwock Captain replies, his voice raising an octave at the admission. This time, he returns the hug without patting you platonically.

The sound of the stove going off startles Haru out of the embrace. “Oh! I'll be right back, the oven is preheated.” The Captain begins walking briskly towards the kitchen.

You look around. There's currently no sign of Towa, Ren, or even Peekaboo. That makes you wonder if they already know about your date. You remove your shoes and make your way over to the couch, before plopping down.

It wasn't long before Haru returned, frantically making his way over to you. The Captain sits to your left, a few feet from you, reaching for the remote to the tv on the coffee table. He immediately relinquishes it to you. “Ah, here! You can pick whatever you want to watch.”

You hum, pointing the remote in the direction of the TV. It rested on top of an entertainment center in the middle of the room. Clicking the power button on, you watch the television come to life. “What do you like to watch, usually?”

“It's been so long since I've had time, I can't really remember!” Haru admits, laughing awkwardly. “I will be okay with anything, though.”

“I'll hold you to that,” You tease. Daringly, you scoot right next to Haru to where your hips are touching. An audible gulp sounds from the man next to you when your legs meet.

“Where's Peekaboo?”

“... I pleaded with Ren to watch him for the evening,” Haru answers. He regards you tentatively, as if he's not sure what to do with his hands.

“I see.” Helping him out, you lace your fingers with his left hand as you look for a streaming platform. “Is this okay?” You ask for his permission softly.

“Yes! Yes, of course it is!” Haru attempts to relax back into the couch behind him, though his posture remains somewhat rigid– you can only assume from nerves.

He is too freaking cute.

Following by example, you settle yourself back into the couch cushion, then nestle your head against Haru's shoulder. This was seriously the pique of comfort and you couldn't be any more elated. You randomly select a movie, a thriller you think. The description hadn't been interesting enough to hold your full attention before you played it, though you're not sure anything could right now.

At some point during the intro of the movie, you feel Haru's free hand slip onto your partially exposed thigh. Butterflies stir in your stomach as you observe his gloved thumb rubbing small circles against your skin.

“Haru,” You say.

The Jabberwock Captain stills his hand, for the moment. “Y-Yes…?”

“Did you feel anything for me before I confessed to you today? Romantically.”

Haru haltingly resumes the subtle movements of his fingers against your skin. “Ah… it might be more strange if I didn't. You are always helping me, even when I know you have your hands full. You're so good with Peekaboo and the other animals. And you're very pretty, (Y/N).”

You absorb his answer for a while after he says it. Your eyes are unfocused on the movie playing in front of you. Some guy is getting his ass kicked on screen. You're pretty sure you don't even know the main character's name.

“You could have told me that all those times I was hitting on you, ya know,” You tease.

“I-I wasn't sure if you really meant it,” Haru counters.

“You're so cute.” Craning your head forward, you land a chaste kiss on the closest place your lips would land in your current position. That place happens to be the side of Haru's neck.

The Jabberwock Captain's hand clamps firmly on your thigh as he gasps involuntarily from the contact. Warmth crawls up the base of his neck and you admire with satisfaction as the tips of his ears turn bright red.

“Y-You really know how to make a fella nervous,” Haru remarks, a nervous chuckle tumbling from his mouth.

You nestle yourself back into his side, thoroughly amused by his jitters. “Don't be, it's just me. We can just watch the movie and I'll let up… for now.”

The last bit of your sentence was meant to be glib, rather than a reflection of your actual intentions, but Haru appears even more restless after the words leave your mouth. You return your attention towards the screen ahead. It takes a bit of time, but eventually his heart rate slows to a more normal pace as he relaxes fully into the cuddling.

You're not sure what Haru has in the oven, but it's taking a while. The movie you picked was boring enough that it wasn't really holding your interest. Hopefully Haru liked it more than you did. The warmth of the kind Captain at your side brings so much solace and relief that you find yourself inevitably drifting off to sleep.

By the time you wake, the lights are already off, but the dimly lit screen of the flat screen just ahead, illuminates the room you're in. Something else plays, it looks like an animation you don't recognize and the volume is now exponentially more quiet. You're also in a new position, lying your head on a throw pillow, with a thin blanket covering you. And you happen to be laying on your left side. You must have been moving around a lot in your sleep.

Shit, wasn't Haru cooking something for the both of you? And you went and dozed off for how long?

Mild panic settles in and you really hope you didn't offend the Jabberwock Captain. You knew it was highly unlikely that was the case, but this was your first date. Haru probably wouldn't often have the time for such things. Where was he, anyways?

You're about to sit up when you feel a hand move to your hip. Said sneaky hand begins tracing small languid circles, not dissimilar to the ones you felt earlier. Though, this time it felt more suggestive based on your current position. You're so touch starved at this point that you begin to feel heat pool in your loins from something most would consider so kosher.

Haru must be lying behind you. And who else? Certainly not Towa. He was touchy but you can't imagine he'd do this considering how you felt about Haru. You want to turn around to confirm, but for some reason that typical bravado you try to maintain around him is completely flopping right now. Maybe you could try to ask.

“Haru…?”

The hand, now on your waist, stills. But it doesn't leave. “Oh, you're awake. I hope this is okay. You were flopping around like a fish once you fell asleep, so I tried to make it more comfortable for you,” Haru explains, amusement lacing his voice.

The idea of him still taking care of you long after you had fallen asleep on him makes your stomach do backflips. How was this man so effortlessly sexy without even trying? Is it too soon to start making advances? Because at this point, you don't know what to do with yourself.

“Haru, I don't mean to alarm you, but I'm warning you now. I'm extremely turned on right now.”

You swear you hear the Jabberwock Captain choke on air behind you at the declaration. “... O-Oh?” Haru's hand tenses on your waist.

“I'm going to turn around. If you have any objections, you should let me know now,” You warn.

Haru remains silent for a few moments and for a second you worry that you're about to be rejected. “... No. No objections from this guy.”

Without hesitation, you flip around on your side. Haru's face is just inches from yours, his expression a mixture of trepidation and anticipation. He's flushed beautifully as he peers back at you. You pull your hands up from underneath the blanket cloaking the both of you, then delicately bring them to cup his face.

“So sweet,” You murmur as you close the distance fully, joining your lips with his.

Haru responds immediately, scooping you in as close as possible with his left hand. He returns the kiss eagerly, abandoning all shyness he may have felt moments before.

Haru's lips taste like lavender salve, something he must have put on in preparation for your date to cure any chapped skin that may have been there before. You don't mind. Your lips continue to interlock with his over and over again in an onslaught. Eventually, you find yourself wrapping your arms around the Jabberwock Captain's neck, searching for a closeness that only intertwining souls might achieve.

Haru takes the initiative, slipping his tongue past your lips, coaxing you to take it all a step further. And you oblige, tilting your head as you press yourself flush against him, allowing the kiss to deepen. Haru is warm, he tastes like spearmint. Haru is inviting, like the sun. You want to explore the light he radiates and the heat that comes with it.

You feel your cardigan begin to slip from your shoulders. You're so preoccupied with the fervid makeout session that you don't even realize that Haru is peeling it away on his own. It wasn't until the red-head broke the kiss to relocate his lips to your neck that you piece it all together. You gasp for air, partially from the lack of it during your heated exchange. But mostly because you feel his tongue press against your throat as he litters you with countless clumsy kisses. You feel his teeth graze once your twice, each time it elicits a pathetic whimper from your lungs.

“Fuck, Haru. I want you,” You blabber out, mindlessly.

Maybe it was reckless, considering you just addressed your feelings. But how the hell do you just stop now?

Haru, who had already been making his kisses trail farther down to your clavicle, barely separates himself from you to respond. His voice comes out raspy. “Y-You… You're sure?”

It seems almost ridiculous to ask such a thing, considering that you're already hyper aware of the tent having formed in his pants that was now pressing invasively against your thigh.

“I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything in my life,” You deadpan.

Haru hums in contentment, wrapping his arms securely around you as he buries his face into your chest. “Anything you want, I'll be happy to be of service,” He murmurs against you.

You're seriously in love with him.

Just when you're about to continue getting this show on the road, the overhead light flickers on. The sudden change in the room's brightness startles Haru enough to sit upright from you.

“It worked!” Towa declares from the front entrance. The ball of sunshine is beaming brightly after he voices his snap judgment assessment of your compromising position. You suppose there is nothing else to think, with Haru basically on top of you.

“GYAAAH…!” Haru removes himself from you so quickly that he almost stumbles off the couch. “T-TOWA, AT LEAST ANNOUNCE YOURSELF! HOW LONG WERE YOU THERE?”

Towa merely snickers impishly, blatantly ignoring the question directed at him to address you. “I'm glad your wish came true, Dandelion!”

Your face burns bright, but you manage a smile, paired with an awkward chuckle. Sitting up fully yourself, you respond to him. “Yeah, you're like a real life fairy, Towa.”

“What wish?” Haru interjects, cluelessly.

Towa’s face splits into a shit-eating grin before he bolts up the steps.

“H-Hey, wait you didn't answer…!” The protest dies in Haru's mouth as his vice-captain makes a hasty retreat. “Aaah, and he's gone.”

“Pfffft,” You stifle a laugh when you notice Haru's aghast expression. “Well… in his defense, this isn't the most private place to be fooling around at.”

Haru lets out a breathy sigh. “Yeah, you're right.” The Captain gets to his feet, holding his hand out for you to take. “My room?”

Your heart flutters, as you admire him in the now bright light. Placing your hand in his, you nod. “Kay.”

Once the two of you begin to make your way to Haru's bedroom, he pops the question again.

“So what was the promise Towa mentioned?”

[bekolxeram]

I swear this is the last time I bring up that air tanker in 2x14 voluntarily. The bottom line is, if you believe Tommy did fly that plane, that makes him not even superhero level cool, but Jonny Kim level cool. If you believe he didn't, then he's just as cool, always knowing a guy from all walks of line, ready to help out with whatever resource on hand the second Chimney says the word. At the end of the day, he saved the 118 and a bunch of civilians either way, and he did it again in S7 flying to that cruise ship. He'll always be our cool heroic pilot no matter what.

With that being said, I have some thoughts about the CAL FIRE line from the news reporter in that episode. If you're not interested, please read no further. And if you don't want to see this kind of posts at all but still want to read my other content, please block the tag #aviation realism.

I know Bobby said "217 incoming" when he saw that C-130, only the news reporter mentioned it was with CAL FIRE. That's why I suspect the CAL FIRE line was shoved in after the actual scenes were filmed, because they realized or someone explained to them how impractical and dangerous for an urban fire department to own a giant air tanker and just dump tons of water all over the city.

I saw the same technique utilized for the tsunami arc in S3. Anyone who has taken geography in high school can tell that in reality, there is no megathrust fault capable of generating Indian Ocean 2004 or Japan 2011 scale tsunami off the coast of SoCal. So where did the tsunami come from? In 3x02, before Sue asks Maddie to "triage" the dispatchers, you can hear once again a news reporter saying the tsunami is triggered by an earthquake off the coast of Alaska. This takes the fictional tsunami scenario from having zero basis in real life, to possible in extreme cases and greatly exaggerated for dramatic effect.

I thank whatever divine intervention or persistent technical advisor that made the CAL FIRE line possible.

2x14 was first aired on April 15, 2019. What you might not remember or realize is that something notable happened across the Atlantic on the very same day: the Notre-Dame fire. The entire world watched the cathedral burned for hours while over 400 firefighters all over Paris tried to contain the flame. A certain f...... former US president then suggested on Twitter that "perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out."

The French immediately responded by pointing out that dumping large amount of water from an aircraft at low altitude could "weaken the structure of Notre-Dame and result in collateral damage to the buildings in the vicinity." A retired FDNY battalion chief also told the media that water bombing would likely make the situation more dangerous, as civilians on the street might be hit if you miss the target.

The entire internet was clowning on that stable genius for such an innovative idea all afternoon. Imagine if 2x14 aired later that evening with not even a smaller single engine one, but a large 4 engine airtanker somehow belonging to the LAFD, that would come off extra stupid, even meme inspiring. But with the CAL FIRE line, they could at least claim that it was the extreme and rare circumstances requiring additional assistance from other agencies in the area, and it was not part of 911-verse LAFD's normal operation.

If the writers had done their homework beforehand and the CAL FIRE thing was always part of the script, good for them. If it was indeed shoved into the scene last minute, then they should thank their lucky stars.

I can already imagine the headache Bobby is going to have working on Hotshots as a consultant.

[boinkingbattlemechs]

Rifleman

The definitive anti-aircraft 'Mech, the Rifleman was first fielded in 2505, making it among the earliest 'Mechs ever built. Designed as a medium fire-support platform, the Rifleman was plagued with a variety of problems since its debut and was ill-suited as a front-line combatant. However, its combination of long-ranged weaponry, including rapid-fire autocannons, and its excellent targeting and tracking system ensured it would remain a viable battlefield unit through half a millennium of combat.

Kallon Industries built the first RFL-1N Rifleman for the Hegemony Armed Forces, but chronic overheating problems forced a return to the drawing boards, with an improved RFL-2N introduced fifty years later. Kallon's engineers still believed the 'Mech suffered too much from overheating, and tried to fix the problem with the definitive RFL-3N by replacing some of its heat-intensive energy weapons with autocannons. Although a marked improvement, the engineers were still not satisfied with the end result and tried to produce a 'Mech which would address the issues of heat management, protection and endurance which continued to plague the Rifleman. Their response, the JagerMech, featured several improvements over the older 'Mech but did not wholly replace it, instead complementing it whenever the two served in the same unit together.

With the collapse of the Star League and start of the Succession Wars, the Rifleman was scattered amongst the militaries of the Successor States. House Davion fielded the largest concentration of Riflemen and used them to good effect in their battles with House Kurita. Unfortunately, combat losses increasingly forced many Riflemen to be deployed directly on the front-lines, where their deficiencies in close combat against similar-mass 'Mechs were apparent. After the recovery of the Helm Memory Core, rediscovered lostech was used in an attempt to improve upon the venerable Rifleman, with manufacturers deploying a number of new variants around the time of the Clan Invasion.

By the time of the FedCom Civil War, new prototypes of Rifleman variants were still being worked on, but the aging 'Mech had since acquired a poor reputation due to its weak protection and bad heat management. The 'Mech experienced something of a revival though when Kallon's factory on the moon Talon was subjected to a blockade by the 7th FedCom RCT, disrupting production of the newer JMS-7 JagerMech. The company brought up their experimental RFL-8D Rifleman to full-scale production as just a temporary measure, but the improved 'Mech wound up being fielded by both Loyalist and Allied forces during the civil war. Additional variants were introduced since then, with both the Free Worlds League and Word of Blake making use of advanced Riflemen during the Jihad.

The Rifleman's focus on fire-support and anti-aircraft work dictated a heavy load of long-range weapons to the exclusion of everything else. It carried a particularly heavy battery of two Magna Mk. III Large Lasers paired with two Imperator-A medium autocannons, one of each mounted in each arm. Two Magna Mk. II medium lasers were split between the side torsos to provide backup. One ton of autocannon ammunition was carried in the center torso, enough for short, sharp engagements but not enough for extended periods of combat. The 'Mech's ten heat sinks were grossly inadequate for constant fire, but in an anti-aircraft role, the Rifleman was expected to have time to dissipate heat while the target aircraft turned for its next pass.

The Rifleman suffered from a miserly amount of armoring - just seven and a half tons total - with its rear torso particularly thin. It also lacked hand or lower-arm actuators, hampering it in a melee confrontation, and was not particularly fast, with a cruising speed of 43.2 km/h. When operating in its intended role of providing overwatch for other 'Mechs, these deficiencies were not terribly noticeable, and it could still overpower lighter opponents by dint of its size. These drawbacks did mean that a commander would only commit their Riflemen in a head-on confrontation with heavy enemy forces as a last resort.

An exceptional piece of electronics, the Garret D2j targeting-tracking system allowed the Rifleman to maintain an accurate lock on swift-moving aerial targets and achieve excellent accuracy. The Garret T11-A was equally impressive as a communications system, although its distinctive wing-shaped design tended to draw the enemy's attention...and their fire.

The Rifleman was limited to turning its torso 40° to either side, seemingly presenting a significant blind-spot in the rear to exploit. However, its ability to flip its arms over and use those weapons to target enemies behind it presented a nasty surprise for an enemy attempting to come up and engage the 'Mech from the rear.

[thorns-and-rosewings]

So now with today's episode we have some new information on Frank. At first glance it seems like it would disprove the Pisces Theory, but... I am not entirely sure about that. I'm starting to think there's two paths here...

Firstly: He said Puppet was on the right track in regards to the Aspect of Fear thing, but obviously he's not fully correct... What is clear is that Frank has tons of power, a strange knowledge of Fate and enough skill to create an instantaneous copy of one of the Bloodtwins. Almost like STAR POWER; whereas he's deeply entwined to all these negative emotions, negative energies, fear, quite possibly along the lines of ANTI-STAR POWER. So here's the deeper question...

My Main Theory: What if Frank is a Chimera?

Something Gemini mentioned on an episode was they thought some of the other Astrals had died (Or blown up) before... What if in another universe... they all did? All the Astrals 'died' but rather than reform normally, some of them reformed into a hybridized form? Probably with more than a few pieces of Witherstorm/Anti-matter mixed in. Enough to screw with any memories or purpose those Astrals originally had. The result is a creature with a lot of power and conflicting natures... and behold! Our Frank exists...

My Secondary Theory: He's a different dimension Pisces...

Castor had commented in a different episode that while Astrals exist across dimensions they might have different power levels or other variations.

What if Frank is an Astral from another (Dead) universe who just moved in? Somewhat like Puppet, only this Astral is on a radically different power level compared to the ones in this universe or has mutated in some unconventional ways? He's been watching Sun and Moon because of all the Star Shenanigans, but has only recently decided to become active, due to all the insanity going on.

Which could be beneficial for Lunar actually... Gemini has mentioned that the Astrals are split on the decision of what to do with Lunar. Another Astral to tip the scale in Lunars favor could help the Celestial Family out.

These are just my thoughts honestly. Probably wrong, but has anyone else got any ideas after todays episode?

[changesforminnesota]

Molly’s Cracker Jack Collection

Cracker Jack was a popular caramel popcorn and peanut food and every box came with a prize. Molly loved to collect and trade small toys from inside these boxes. Open the Cracker Jack Box and help Molly eat the pretend popcorn. She keeps her growing collection in an old cigar box. It includes two marbles, a ring, two tiny animals, a World War II airplane and three paper toys.

Details about Cracker Jack and how I made the collection under the cut.

What are Cracker Jack prizes?

Cracker Jack is a caramel coated popcorn and peanut mix that was first sold around 1896. It is a staple of American baseball games and other sporting events. It’s even mentioned in the song that plays at every baseball game, “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”, written in 1908: “Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack, I don’t care if I never get back”. 

Cracker Jack started giving prizes in their boxes in 1912, and throughout most of the century, these prizes were highly collectable among kids. Most of the prizes are plastic animals and other trinkets, as well as many paper or cardboard items like games and collectible cards. Some even included tiny books or flipbooks or dollhouse furniture. It’s fascinating to look through the years and see how things changed, from metal to plastic, the different pop culture references, the war years, et cetera.

Frito-Lay bought the company in 1997 and changed all of the prizes to flat things like tattoos, stickers, and jokes. Not the same experience at all–that’s what I remember from growing up. And now they don’t even include anything but a QR code for an online game.

Research

To make Molly’s collection, I looked through the 1940s pages of a collector’s guide on Internet Archive to get a sense of what was available at the time. I took some things from the 1930s and 1950s too. I printed out some of the flat games and collected other items based on what I could find in a teeny tiny scale–these toys were already really small so it was hard to find things that are small on an American Girl scale. I also did some searching about how kids collected these, and someone said they were often kept in old cigar boxes, which might not be PC enough for PC, but I liked the idea so I made a cigar box out of a fancy cardboard jewelry box I had. (more on collecting and trading below).

I have ideas to add more prizes, like printing out movie star trading cards and coming up with a way to make pins–I’m picturing something like the doll Grin Pins. 

Molly Lore (head-canon)

I can imagine Molly trading away all of the warplane cards and toys to her brother Ricky for dollhouse furniture, jewelry, animals, movie star items, and so on. There were, unsurprisingly, tons of planes and other war items in Cracker Jack in the 1940s. It seemed like Molly was always getting planes and Ricky was always getting stupid doll furniture! They both liked the games, though. Molly and Ricky gave any leftover prizes they didn’t want to Brad. 

One day Jill decided she was “too mature” for Cracker Jack and gave her collection to Molly, which was more annoying than it should have been, because there’s something kind of not fun about suddenly getting things all at once that you’ve been collecting slowly. Molly invited Susan and Linda over to pick through Jill’s collection, each girl choosing one thing at a time until it was divvied up. At least sharing with her best friends and not keeping it all to herself made it a little more fun. 

Resources:

This collector’s guide was instrumental in my research. It both gave me specific ideas and a general sense of the experience and patterns of the prizes. There were a few telling editorial remarks like this one about Barrettes on page 127: “Left a lot to be desired if a little boy got it. (Then again, I’m sure that many a little girl was disappointed to get a “war” prize).” This is what gave me the image of Ricky and Molly trading their prizes and both of them being happy about it!

https://archive.org/details/crackerjacktoysc0000whit

Another resource I used was this selling website:

Although the search function is pretty awful, it is good for scans of paper prizes. 

Here is the google doc I used to collect the pictures I wanted to print in what seemed an appropriate size: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/196ByHxFQ8G21VbtBmT5H2ZCmigQnAYsUfbzru0buivM/edit?usp=sharing 

[aroacesetitoff]

Infinight Interns Reference Sheet + Headcanons

Bartholomew Finn

-Vest of Slow Descent-i made it green based off his canon design and then gave it "feathered" hems to allude to its ability

-pre-Draconic Transformation Bart-gave him silver jewelry and the only draconic traits are gold freckles, fangs, and shorter horns

-post-Draconic Transformation Bart-gold jewelry to match with his dad (Simsun), and of course claws and scales and larger horns

-boatswain's call whistle-a reference to the Jebediah + Capt. Marge

-gave him the thigh dagger sheath-cause why not. I think Bart's that character in movies that has a shit ton of knives hidden in the most improbable places

-he's got a 17 string lute, but lets be honest i aint drawing 17 strings. painted a wave design on the body and the soundhole/rosette has a dagger design

-Breath Diagem/lute pick ftw

-scars on his hands (from doing hot boi sailor shit)

-not shown but i think he's got a bunch of tattoos (like "I <3 Mom" for Marge, flowers for Gum Gum, crossed anchors, etc.)

-pupils are slitted like dragons and a very dark shade of blue

Kyborg the Mighty/Kydelius of Everwinter

-Fun Fact: i used to do archery! so some of his gear is based off of stuff I had. But you know cooler

-Canonically his hair pretty loose, and its pretty but my god its gonna get caught up in his bowstring man. braided/tied it back for practicality

-thigh highs. no notes

-gave him an armored version w/ fur because his current design didn't feel like Everwinter-y enough

-its not terribly visible but he has the Belt of Sick Trick so i put a bird on it (vaguely Tony Hawk reference)

-the Longer Bow Krystallina-gave it a snow fall design + red accents

-scars from archery, since this guy shoots barebow

-the left (flesh arm) side is the most armored and unscarred, and the right (metal arm) side is scarred + unprotected (bc u know its metal)

-pupils are really dark shade of red as a reference to the Source Diagem

-metal arm-i took an anatomy class not a robotics one, so the structure is based off human musculature (kinda) and i put the Source Diagem in his shoulder instead of his hand

Gum Gum Galindor

-star boi 🌟

-constellations on the inside of the brim of his hat that Bart sewed for him-(Bart's a sailor, he knows his constellations)

-the flowers (orange @ blue) on his hat represent him & Bart. The orange ones bigger bc u know thats his big bro right there

-the hoodie+pauldron+cross body strap combo is a direct copy of Bart's design bc thats what younger siblings do u know

-made the patches to repair his coat stars bc why not

-Random Axe of Kindness-the cute lil heart does not detract from the fact that its an axe

-timeskip design i went for a gardener vibe bc he works in the Orchidnage now-i think despite having the worst dad of the group, Gum Gum would be a pretty good father figure

-Staff of Flowers-i wanted to reference Dia w/ this one so I tried to have this be the most colorful part

-Bart pierced his ears at one point

-i gave him constellation freckles that showed up post Dia reveal

-he has his manacles yeah but i wanted to design friendship bracelets for the rest of the team

-Mudd's-green thread with pink & white flower beads-the charm is Gumbo

-Bart's-leather cord with blue & gold beads and an anchor charm

-Kyborg's-brown leather cord, green beads, and a red arrow charm

-made his pupils a lighter shade of blue that glows when he uses Wild Magic

-edit: lots of scars, some from fighting, a lit from just tripping and shit. Also a dog bite from that one time

Mudd Bramblecrack

-i love him but it was so hard to come up with a design

-the pink streak keeps moving bc im inconsistent and also bc he has to redye/cut his hair constantly

-the "fur" cloak is the Cloak of the Secluded Garden, and its actually pine leaves & grass

-gave him a very simple tunic w/ a bramble design bc we would try to disguise his noble bg

-i put Mudd in a kilt bc i have free will and also he's Scottish. I dont think he would ever wear one unless for formal occasions tho bc i think they take a while to put on

-Gumbo :) + badger armor -this ones very specifically inspired by Lonna Bowstripe from the Redwall series

-originally had the purple gems on his tunic, made em earrings instead bc thats cooler

-Bramblecrack signet (?) ring-also the Virtues Diagem. Both this and his earring are purple bc its an ace reference (for me). The ring is definitely an ace reference bc i made it a black metal and put it on his right middle finger (ifykyk)

-pink paw pads + talons-less of a firbolg thing, more of a Moon Druid thing

-eyes are a rlly dark shade of green but glow a brighter shade when Wildshaping

-pupils are a rlly dark shade of purple (Diagem ref) and also horizontal like cows

Okay I think that's everything. If not ill just come back and edit it 🤷. working on the OG Infinights next so stay tuned or whatever

[absolutebl]

This week in BL - I am all over the place, But Laws of Attraction is Phenomenal af

July 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Thai Sat iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Icky picked it up but it’s not airing for me until Sundays so I held this post specifically to watch and talk about this show. Stars the pair from To Sir With Love with the same production team. IT’S SO GOOD Y’ALL. A morally corrupted trickster lawyer with a tragic past, sad eyes, and a beautiful smile that he uses like a weapon. Meets paladin martial arts instructor from other side of the tracks (who is out, at least to his baby sister). Corrupt police. Spoiled rich kid evil. Ambitious politician. Tragic death. Terrible subs.* This show is very like Manner of Death but so far it is a much better/tighter story. It’s NOT BL but it is fucking phenomenal. And you shoudl watch it. Not wait to binge it. WATCH IT. On a global scale this might be the best thing currently airing featuring gay romantic leads. Its really fucking good. It’s Lawless Lawyer but more complex character motivation and gay af. Fuck yes please and thank you. FINALLY. Triggers for violence, beatings, death & torture depicted on screen. Like MoD they are not holding back.  (* A lot of the familial names they are using are not gendered in Thai but translated as such, like “nephew”. This one is gonna go down a lot easier if you know some Thai.)

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 12fin - 2 years pass and no one’s hairstyle changes? Srs. Them meeting again = hella AWKWARD. Both still pining & hurt. NO SINGING. The reconciliation scene was great. I enjoyed that on the “do over relationship” they went with phi/pom (instead of the super formal khuns). So cute and so much more relaxed. Also lots of neck kisses! Charming final ep. It’s only flaw being they dropped the side couple, but I wasn’t really into them anyway. Ultimately? This is what Boss & Babe should have been and could we please have Up lead out another BL? I miss him and he only gets prettier. Full review below.

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - I adore the tiny little baby GL thread that we almost got. And I wish we had had more of it throughout the show. The side couple turned out to be good too. Emotional crying kisses are my favorite. Sunshine netted himself an earnest serious romantic boy, we likey. As for the main couple? Well... Tai’s search story arc was dull and dragging in a final ep and it felt bloated and slow as a result. It was a good confession reunion with Tai figuring all of his shit out, not surprising but fine. Kind of a a weak final ep. Full review below. 

Hidden Agenda (Thai Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - JoonDunk are back and we have all seen this a million times before, but Thailand never executed a successful formula it didn’t want to repeat a million times over, drunk bathroom and everything. Welcome (back) to Thai BL (and back and back and back). Basically they just added glasses, a new 1-shared-brain-cell friendship group, and different uni departments. Ah GMMTV, forever trying to recreate the magic of 2gether. But also I’m enjoying it. I’m a simple person. (Hi Jamie! Still in college since 2018 I see.) Anyone else notice that Chinese phrase that they did not translate for us? Mmm hum. Cute. Still... NO SINGING. 

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 8 - Thames is in coma and getting slagged off on the socials. It’s moving a bit slowly but the premise is interesting despite the poor quality of the execution. 

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 8 eps - Major trigger for self harm depicted on screen in part 2/4. I skipped it. Then there is assault and verbal abuse. I told you Ultimate Troop is NOT to be trusted. 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 2 of 12 - Look, I don’t really mind this show but I also don’t like second hand embarrassment and I sense a metric butt ton incoming.

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - I was not best pleased with this episode. Ya’ll round the tumblr-sphere seem to be enjoying it but I have officially hit the wall on Kawi. There is not enough booze for me to cope with his shizz. I may be alone in this. But gotta say how I feel... Unlike him. Trash watch here.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 8 - Poor Ren, he feels compelled to take on the burden of protecting everyone from sexual assault because he blames himself. And he can’t even talk to his boyfriend about it. Oh fuck me the pair of shoes at the door. And neck kisses? TOO MUCH. Argh. Japan. Why must you hurt so good? 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 3 of 10 eps - It’s a very cute show. All the tropes and archetypes with no fuss or attempts to be clever, just executing them (sometimes over and over again). Even hiccoughs as a result of flirting! I haven’t seen that one in ages. The show feels old fashioned as a result. Nostalgic. I’m good with that. 

Tie The Not (Pinoy YouTube) ep 6 of 8 - Sad boys still sad now drunk. (Noooooo shoes on bed! Argh.) Finally kisses! Also good ones for a large portion of this ep. Plus hair pulling. And verse rep! And after sex convo. Then side dishes have a whole proper gay ax covo about top/bottom. Everyone say thank you Philippines! get down with your queer selves! 

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 6fin - I believe this was the final episode. It was cute. This is a standard sort of semi-crappy VBL high school drama. Enjoyable in its floppy friendliness, weirdly like a queer after school special promoting education. Dead fish kisses but fine for what it is. 7/10 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 2 of 12 eps - Activate cohabitation trope. They okay bfs. Minato not as frustrating this week, but still frustrating for me and Shin. Next week = cute outfits and dumb miscommunication yay!

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 11 of 12 - again it didn’t show up on my dash in time for this. I’ll pop it into next week. 

It’s airing but ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I’m not bothering.

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.

Ended This Week

Step By Step Series Review  

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This was an office romance between stern boss and sweet subordinate that felt more authentic to an office environment than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. And that authenticity added tension to the narrative and character development (how novel). Now that might be because it has western source material, or it might be because it is actually kind of old-fashioned (it’s been years since I worked as an office grunt). I also really enjoyed the brothers’ relationship, and kinda wished they hadn’t attempted (and failed) to give said brother his own side BL. That one flaw made it a 9/10 for me. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

La Pluie Series Review

This BL takes to task the fated mates trope and what it means to have love chained intimately to predestination. It’s about how faith in destiny before choice diminishes the authenticity of emotion, relationships, and connection. This is a high concept to examine through the lens of a BL. By activating + examining the soulmates trope this show is challenging a foundation of romance: the idea that there is one person meant to be your one romantic partner all your life. This means that we, as viewers, spend much of the show worried about it having a happy ending, and that’s the source of both its brilliance and tension: would the narrative have the strength to truly challenge its own romantic core? But, ultimately, all this elevated complexity was executed in a somewhat shaky manner with the narrative derailing into some serious pacing issues and characters manipulated by miscommunication. However, with good chemistry and decent acting all around, plus some excellent high heat and representation of consent and a few other rare tropes, this one has to (like it’s sibling show My Ride) earn a 9/10. I enjoyed it even as it made me think, so despite its flaws: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting:  

7/19 Wedding Plan (Thai Wed YouTube & iQIYI)  - It's Mame and she's coming for our GL. She's such a misogynist IMAGINE what we will get with a GL side dish? It's going to be absolute carnage. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not? That is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts. Trying to decide to trash watch or not... 

7/20 Jun & Jun (Korea Thu Viki) - From 2022 I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT! So excited for this one. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

FYI roselle juice is made from hibiscus (a flower) so technically neither a tea nor a juice. (Hidden Agenda)

Tie the Not = all the verse rep this ep. I love this for them. 

The giggling was SO DAMN CUTE (Step by Step, na?) 

We all guessed it but it was still fun. (Stupid Genius) Also miracles of miracles, two actors who actually look like they could be brothers play brothers. 

First time I’ve seen faen translated as significant other. (Laws of Attraction)

THE PAIN! (Tokyo) 

(Last week.)

[ryuichirou]

IMPORTANT QUESTION SINCE NOW I AM AWARE YOU ARE INTO A/B/O DO YOU HAVE ANY SEBEMALLE HCS FOR IT I REALLY LIKE YOUR MIND

Anon! Thank you so much for enjoying our stuff I AM VERY HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!

We have a couple of asks related to ABO, and I kind of took my sweet time with them lol So it took ages to write this, but I guess this is pretty much a norm for me these days. Anyways, I hope you are still here and enjoy reading it, thank you for your patience!

Sebek/Malleus is such a good ship…

(how come I always say that we aren’t that into ABO but end up having tons of opinions and thoughts about it 🙄)

Sebek had no idea that Malleus is an omega for the longest time; it’s not like it’s a huge secret, but it just never occurred to Sebek to even think about Malleus as someone who could mate and procreate. Sebek found out about it on one fateful day when he was suddenly hit with the strongest and the sweetest wall of scent that was so suffocating and stimulating that Sebek almost passed out in his dorm hallway. Malleus didn’t go hiding or cover his scent that month for some reason…

Malleus has always known that Sebek is an alpha, even when Sebek was a kid; it was just way too obvious. But he never thought that Sebek would grow up to be his alpha: he kind of always thought of him as a restless pup that nibs on Silver without even realising the tension they are going to have in a couple of years. Malleus always thought that Silver is lucky to have Sebek by his side for his whole life.

Like I mentioned in the first hc, Malleus usually either hides somewhere, tries to cover his scent just enough not to get bothered by others or just asks Lilia for help, but that one time he didn’t do any of it, and that was when Sebek burst into his room confused, concerned, determined and very aroused. Malleus didn’t expect to see him, but that was the first time he saw Sebek as an alpha willing and capable of handling him.

And Sebek really is good at handling him. He hesitates at first, but the more they do it, the more confident and aggressive he gets; either his alpha instincts take over, or he just sees that Malleus loves it when he isn’t holding back. But every time they finish, and Malleus squeezes Sebek as he gets stuck inside of him, it’s like the realisation of what kind of relationship he and his liege now have hits Sebek, and he gets flustered and apologetic. Malleus usually hits him with “so you regret doing this to me?” just to see Sebek get even more flustered and apologetic, but for the opposite reason.

Sebek obviously isn’t allowed to claim Malleus, and Malleus usually covers his nape with hard dragon scales just so even if Sebek bites him, he can’t mark him as his own. But one time he felt like testing (or teasing) Sebek and didn’t cover it, and poor Sebek was losing his mind the entire time. He really wanted to sink his teeth into that milky skin, he lapped it with his tongue and whimpered, but had enough self-control not to bite it… he bit Malleus’ shoulder and seriously scratched his hips instead, and Malleus enjoyed that a lot.

The only other lover Malleus had previously (we all know who it is) was bigger than Sebek, so Malleus is very used to the alpha’s cock practically hitting his uterus. He body is demanding and he is a huge-ass dragon, so this is the sensation he pretty much expects. But Sebek can’t really go that deep, which isn’t a super bad thing: Malleus learned to enjoy this tickling frustration of getting pleasured but not completely satisfied, in a weird way it arouses him, and of course his walls are always completely ruined by Sebek anyway. But when one day Sebek suddenly positioned Malleus’ legs in a different way, went harder and much deeper than before, hitting and almost entering Malleus’ uterus, Malleus saw stars. In a very good way.

In theory, Sebek just helps out Malleus (while obviously being madly in love with him), but it’s not like Malleus isn’t helping Sebek out too. They had sex in a library once because Sebek got horny seemingly for no reason, with his mind being a bit clouded. Malleus got surprised when he felt Sebek rubbing against his hip, but thought it was very cute... he could’ve teleport both himself and Sebek to his room, but doing it in a library felt more fun.

After that he gave Sebek his handkerchief, not saying but implying that Sebek should use this to masturbate the next time he gets uncontrollably horny around Malleus. He doesn’t totally mean it, but Sebek abuses that poor handkerchief pretty much daily. Malleus’ scent is so strong that it gives Sebek a headache sometimes, but he just can’t stop smelling it.

Sebek also learned how to massage Malleus when he doesn’t feel good during estrus but also doesn’t want to have sex for some reason. Sebek isn’t super good at it, and Malleus doesn’t always ask him to do it, but he learns very fast. He learned that Malleus reacts the best when his tail is getting massaged…

One day the realisation hit Sebek: he’s been breeding Malleus for quite some time now, up to 5 times per day every estrus, but it never leads to conception. Does Malleus just not get gravid? Is he doing something, is there magic involved? He has a lot of questions, but he wouldn’t dare to ask Malleus about any of them. He is afraid that Malleus would stop asking for his help if he does.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I feel like this conversation is a bit played out, but I’m curious: do you think JK’s banking on winning a Grammy and potentially getting out of his military service? I’ve tried to take their words for what they are and I know everyone’s said that they’re all going to the military, will be back in 2025, yadda yadda, whatever. I can’t understand why, if that’s the case, they’re banking so much on his solo career if he’s just going to disappear from the scene (physically) for almost 2 years. Do you get what I mean?

My thoughts are that they are actually hoping for a Grammy and subsequent deferment of mandatory service, but then again, nobody knows so I guess we’ll have to wait and see how it all plays out.

As this is only speculation and might as well not happen, let me bring my own contribution. I don't think this is about Jungkook and I'll explain why.

If you look at this entire issue from the perspective of the artist/idol, you'll realize soon that you're stuck, that you can't explain why he's doing this or that. But looking at it as a business deal will shine another light on it.

Yes, Jungkook is leaving to do his military service soon and everything he said up until now points to that so why are they investing so much into making him a "global pop star"? Because Hybe and Hybe America need to show that they can do that. That their strategy is one that works for future business. Why do you think they tried it first on the most versatile of the BTS members, the one that can do any song because he has the voice needed for that? This wouldn't have worked with Taehyung or Jimin. God, I'm so happy it didn't work with Jimin because it would have been horrible to see all that unfoulding. Besides, they had projects on their own and without making any contribution to the song writing, Tae's album was still something that matched his personality, it was him with the help of MHJ.

With Jungkook, the situation is different. I wouldn't know the details, but when they announced their hiatus, it looked like everyone was set on releasing an album, including JK. And then, most likely, life happened. Because you can't plan your state of mind. And when you're under a contract, you do need to listen to other people. I know army always uses the shares in Hybe argument, but the value allocated for the members is insignificant on a larger scale. Yes, they are rich and they can do what they want and sleep on a wlive, but I don't think for one second the company would have let Jungkook do nothing and be a couch potato.

So they found this opportunity. You also have to keep in mind that Hybe paid a lot of money for Scooter's company and then what happened to him? Most of his artists left? So where is this big opportunity for collaboration and projects and all that?

This is just business. That's it. They chose the idol capable of being a blank slate and stuck the concept of global pop star on him. Because that's what it is which is incredibly funny (not). Usually that accolade comes after some time, when the results can be seen over a prolonged period of time, but in this case, that was the starting point. As much as Bang wants to get rid of the k in kpop, they're still using a kpop strategy, that of making an album based on a concept or creating a specific image for an idol.

And now they are pushing it hard. They are investing a ton of money into this in a way that makes them look desperate and I think that in the industry at large, people see it. Not the fans because they either choose to turn a blind eye or their mind doesn't go that far. There are voices which have said a thing or two lately among army, but it's an insignificant minority. The company can rely on the fandom to buy all those 284836521 versions and remixes and they will eat it up. And voila, look at how Hybe produced a global pop star in less than half a year. Quick, open the catalog for some songs that sound mediocre enough for a top 40, make the singer record them asap, fast, done in less than one week. Quickly come up with some generic argument of how this is just to show the artist's vocal range (good job PR for that one, jesus) and then also openly admit that it was made for a Western market, aka US cause the world stops there.

Jungkook had the possibility to show more personality of his own when he was with a group of six other people than with his solo album, which is so ironic. But that is because it is not his album. He's merely a vessel through which Bang and Scooter can show investors that they can invent a global pop star and fast while their pockets grow bigger and bigger.

[samasmith23]

Why Revenge of the Sith remains my personal favorite Star Wars movie

I think one of the main reasons I have such a fondness for Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith in particular amongst the entire saga (controversial opinion I know, but ROTS is my personal favorite Star Wars film period...) is because of the experience I had with this movie as a kid growing up!

This film came out in 2005 when I still would have been in the 3rd Grade, and I had already grown up loving the Star Wars franchise, watching the unaltered VHS copies of the Original Trilogy, as well as Episodes I & II on DVD constantly as a child. So when I started seeing tons of trailers and promotions for Episode III popping up, you'd better believe that I was incredibly huped about this film! I still remember seeing the initial teaser trailer for Revenge of the Sith when I first saw Pixar's The Incredibles back in 2004, and you'd better believe that little kid me was excited as all heck!

I personally remember the build-up and anticipation for Episode III being wild back in the day, since not only was this being promoted as the "final entry in the Star Wars saga" since George Lucas stated his intentions to not make an Episode VII at the time (hindsight can be funny sometimes... lol!), but this would be the film that finally answered the question of how exactly Anakin Skywalker turned to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader! Episode III was also promoted as the darkest film in the entire franchise since it was the first to ever receive a PG-13 rating (all the previous movies were rated PG here in the US…). Heck, I remember the PG-13 rating causing a lot of caution and concern among both parents and teachers, since not only did one of my teachers state that my 3rd Grade class was "too young to watch Star Wars Episode III," but when my Dad and I finally saw in cinemas, he calmed my Mom down by telling her he would cover my eyes if any scene got overly violent. Fortunately, my Dad did not end up not having to shield my eyes... although funnily enough he almost did so during the scene when Anakin ignited his lightsaber in front of the younglings before it immediately cut away (so their deaths occurred offscreen...). It wasn't until I was much older that I later learned that the primary reason Episode III was given the PG-13 rating was that in addition to Lucas’ personal recommendation due to the film’s darker tone, the rating was specifically aimed at the immolation scene on Mustafar when Anakin is burned alive by the lava after losing his duel with Obi-Wan.

When I finally saw Revenge of the Sith in theaters in May of 2005, to say that I was completely blown away by the film would be a massive understatement! Not only was I completely immersed in the sheer epic scale of the space and lightsaber duels, but the aesthetics of the planets like Utapau & Mustafar, as well as creatures & droids like General Grievous, captured my imagination to entirely new levels that surpassed even the previous Star Wars films. Heck, General Grievous in particular was a character that I became completely obsessed with as a kid in a similar manner to how countless other Star Wars fans are completely enamored by Boba Fett (both for his badass character design, as well as his status as a Jedi-killing cyborg who wields 4 lightsabers simultaneously while also foreshadowing Anakin's similar future transformation into a being "more machine than man")!

However, the elements of Revenge of the Sith that especially captivated my young mind in the theater were the portrayal of Anakin Skywalker's turn to the Dark Side, as well as Chancellor Palpatine's rise to power as the Emperor. Before the movie's release, I would constantly speculate about what exactly would cause Anakin to become Darth Vader (little kid me came up with wild theories such as him being mind-controlled into being evil via Sith lightning or some such bullcrap... lol!) and the revelation that Anakin turned to the Dark Side primarily out of fear of his wife Padmé dying at childbirth was certainly not what I was expecting back then. At the same time though, this plot point made perfect sense to me and I couldn't help but be engrossed in the whole Greek/Shakespearean tragedy portrayal of Anakin's descent into darkness being motivated primarily out of love. Additionally, as I continued to rewatch Revenge of the Sith on DVD and Blu-Ray as I grew older, I began noticing more of Anakin's growing frustration and distrust with the Jedi council, and how it heavily correlated with the political themes about the corruption of democracy and the rise of fascism (which makes both the Order 66 montage and Padmé’s line, “So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause,” hit even harder)! Furthermore, Palpatine himself made for such a phenomenal main antagonist & master manipulator, with scenes such as him telling Anakin the legend of Darth Plagueis story at the Coruscant opera house as well as his reveal as Darth Sidious being particularly chilling standouts for me!

While some of those more complex themes went over my head as a 3rd grader, Revenge of the Sith was probably one of my earliest exposures to darker forms of storytelling dealing with flawed characters & complex themes. Elements that I now actively search for in my consumption of media, ranging to films, comics, TV, and video games. Additionally, as a child these aforementioned elements made me rewatch Episodes I & II with an even greater appreciation and attention to Anakin’s gradual downfall and Palpatine’s manipulations which all culminated in Episode III. As a kid, I used to primarily focus on the action scenes in Star Wars films above all else, but as an adult elements such as the corruption of bureaucracy with the Jedi Order, the downfall of democracy & the rise of fascism with the Old Republic's devolving into the Galactic Empire, and the Shakespearean tragedy of Anakin Skywalker's transformation into Darth Vader are the elements of the Prequels that continue with stick with me!

It's for this reason that despite whatever flaws Revenge of the Sith might have along with the rest of the Prequel Trilogy, it honestly still remains my personal favorite Star Wars film in the entire saga, followed closely by both Return of the Jedi and The Last Jedi (which means that my Top 3 Star Wars films include one from each trilogy! Lol!)! And for the longest time I thought that Episode III would have been the ONLY Star Wars movie I'd ever get the chance to see in theaters... thank goodness I was wrong with the release of the Sequel Trilogy a decade later! Still though... I will forever cherish that initial hype of Revenge of the Sith as my first-ever theatrical Star Wars experience!

[little-mouse-gardens]

Did two little blurbs for my girl Marcy and Donatello based on some prompts I found on Pinterest.

Just some fluff of these two sillies xd

Starting with the first one, the prompt being afternoon naps

“Finally. Sweet, sweet. sweet, that’s three sweets my dear, peace and quiet” he murmured, carefully dimming the lights of his laboratory to a soft golden glow with just a few simple taps onto his tech gauntlet. Shifting over to pull his hoodie closer around his upper half as he rolled over to look at Marcy. A sleepy smirk appearing on his face as he watched her settle in for a nap.

She looked so cozy. Her short curls slightly tussled from burying herself in the pillows. Her glasses settled on a little tripod stand next to their hammock alongside her phone. Her beautiful brown eyes half lidded. So close to sleep yet staying away to bundle herself up in the weighted blanket.

Stars above she was so prefect to him. Something about that sleepy expression on her face was so..beautiful to him. He couldn’t explain it really, but he always deduced it was just him enjoying seeing her in such a comfy position after a long day of work and projects for the both of them was just perfect in his eyes

Marcy didn’t even have to look away from her fairy lights to know he was staring at her. The feeling of his eyes on her unmistakable in her mind as she shifted around to lay on her side facing him. Despite her pretty blurred vision, she could already spot that sweet grin on his face. A grin filled with the pure affection he held for her, which always made her cheeks flush red and made her brain turn to mush.

“Hmmm, whatcha staring at don-ton? Thought ya wanted to nap” she yawned, a playful chuckle escaping her as she watched him snap out of his daze and embarrassed flush paint his scales. Slowly shuffling over so she was resting in his arms. Enjoying the warmth and comfort of his embrace as he rested her head on his plastron, causing a low churr to leave him. Trying not to giggle when she saw his tail wagging.

“Hmmm, I will” he murmured, Burying his face in her hair, “just wanted to stay up and admire your lovely smile a little longer, dearest”

And then we have our second one and the prompt was sprawled out on the floor with the fan on and the lights out

“donnie”

“No-“

“Don-ton you’ve got to fix the air conditioning-“

“I will….but even a genius like me cannot find the motivation to go and fix that cheap air conditioner”

Marcy had to fight the urge to slide her hands down her face in frustration as she lay sprawled out across his plastron. Legs tangled up with his own on a pile of pillows he gathered to cushion his softshell as he gestured for Sheldon to have the fan face them again. Silently thankful, with the lights off, that his lab was cool as she took a quick sip of some water.

The summer humidity and heat that had built in the lair making her feel like a boiled shrimp as he cleaned her glasses off for the fifth time. Her cheeks flushed a burnt rosey hue as she shifted around so she was facing him while laying on his chest. A slightly deadpan expression on her face as she rested her head on her arms. “your hot too. I can tell” she said, taking the paper fan she had in her bag and unfurling it to let a cool breeze caress his face as she moved it.

Donatello couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh of content as he felt the gentle breeze on his scales. His hands carefully massaging and tapping small shapes across her back through the fabric of her t-shirt. His exhausted mind Enjoying the peace of the moment in this dreadful heat, “oh really? How so mar-mar? I’ve been cool this whole time” he teased, opening his eyes to admire her flushed cheeks and the way her curls seem to frame her face in little ringlets from the humidity, “and if I’m being honest, I haven’t even broken a sweat”

Marcy couldn’t help but roll her eyes slightly at his arrogance. A small grin on her face as she reached her free hand up to his cheek, “yeaahhh, riigghht” she drawled, her voice teasing as he felt the warmth emanating from his smooth scales. The flush coming to his cheeks at the way she was cupping his face getting a chuckle out of her, “and it wasn’t that was whining and grumbling about the heat exactly fifteen minutes ago?”