#and got teased about it my whole life instead! and treated like garbage!

[sassy-hedgie]

when you’re someone who isn’t outwardly emotional and people treat it like a good thing or something that’s easily fixed and you’re just 🫥

[cherienymphe]

Stranger Beside Me (Steve Rogers x Reader)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, forced pregnancy, mentions of abortion, toxic relationships, domestic abuse, I don’t know if I’ve ever written anything this angsty in my life

DNI IF THIS OFFENDS YOU

Here is the long awaited boyfriend!Steve fic.

summary: you and Steve have the perfect relationship, and you want to keep it that way. It’s why he can never discover your secrets, but your secrets wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for his own.

~

The first time you got pregnant, you had never been more disappointed with yourself in your life. Not even failing a major class during college had made you feel as bad as you did when you were staring at that little plastic stick, trying and desperately failing to convince yourself that you were just seeing double. How could you be so careless? How crazy it was to think that a small insignificant piece of plastic could change your mood and life so drastically.

You had sat down on the toilet and remained there for hours. So many thoughts were swirling in your head, possibilities that you didn’t even want to entertain but you found yourself doing so anyway. Eventually, you came to a conclusion that was easy to say: you weren’t ready for a baby. Admitting and accepting that wasn’t hard at all. The hard part was the question that followed. 

What were you going to do about it?

You had struggled with that particular part for days, and you were grateful more than ever that Steve was on a mission. You knew what he would do if he found out, what he would say, and it was an argument you were unprepared to have. You weren’t ready to break his heart like that and face the possibility that this could be the end for you.

Steve Rogers, Captain America himself, was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. You were Pepper’s stylist, hired for special events, and having been in town for a company party thrown by Tony Stark himself, that was where you met Steve. The attraction was mutual, but you were a woman of the world, constantly jetting off to whatever celebrity needed you at the moment. A stationary girl trying to have a relationship with a superhero would be hard enough, let alone one whose feet never remained on the ground.

And that was what you told the blond avenger after the second time he slept over at your place. The first time, a week after the party, was only meant to be a one time thing. At least, that was your impression, but Steve liked you, and no matter how much you pretended you didn’t, you liked him too. Before you knew it, you were leading him into your apartment for a second time, mouth starved and hands searching. 

He was the most attentive lover you’d ever been with, touching you like you were nothing less than fine china, desperate for the taste of you on his lips. He held you like he was afraid to break you, and considering that the man was a super soldier, you understood that, but still. His touch, combined with the way he looked at you, made you feel like you were literally the only woman in the whole world. It was intense.

“I know,” he had sighed, staring up at the ceiling as you looked at him. “You just...make me feel so comfortable.”

You had frowned, never considering that. After all, this was only the second time you’d slept together. 

“I do?”

He turned to look at you, a small smile on his pink lips, blue eyes sparkling.

“Of course.”

You rolled over onto your stomach, resting on your forearms as he continued, watching as he reached out to brush a finger over the skin of your back.

“You don’t look at me like a superhero, but instead just some guy who is really great in bed.”

You let out a sheepish chuckle, dropping your head, and he joined you.

“Don’t feel bad. It’s surprisingly refreshing. It makes me feel like I have room to...be less than perfect,” he murmured.

Your eyes met his then, and despite the words never escaping his lips, they were front and center in his eyes, and you sighed.

“We would never work, Steve,” you whispered, surprised at how disappointed you sounded. “You’re always off saving the world, and I’m always off dressing it.”

He didn’t respond right away, mulling over what you said.

“Maybe that’s exactly why it would work,” he said, surprising you.

You frowned a bit before raising an eyebrow at him, curious as to how he came to that conclusion.

“I’ve tried to date. God knows I’ve tried to find a girl who wants Steve Rogers and not just the face of America…”

Steve sounded sad, maybe even a bit bitter.

“...but nevermind the fact that they only see the suit and shield, they’re always left to their cozy lifestyle while I'm off saving the world. They’re always waiting around for me, eating dinners alone, sleeping alone. Having a superhero boyfriend is never what they think it will be, never worth it, and while the breakup is expected, I still feel bad.”

Your heart clenched, and you found yourself scooting closer to him. He wrapped his big arm around you, pulling you into his chest, and his whole face shifted. He smiled at you, eyes hopeful.

“...but you? You’re running around the world almost as much as I am. By the time you even have time to miss me, I’ll already be there, and if not…”

He trailed off, but he didn’t need to say it. Your lifestyle wasn’t exactly compatible with a relationship. At least, not a conventional one anyway. Spending nights alone was normal for you, and having a boyfriend that wasn’t there half the time would hardly impact your lifestyle. 

You slowly returned his smile.

“Okay, Rogers. Maybe this could work.”

And work it did. 2 years and 7 months later, and the two of you were happier than ever. Tony was surprised that Steve found a girl who stuck around, and Pepper was surprised that you’d found someone who convinced you to settle down. You simply told her that Steve had made a convincing argument, but the truth was that Steve was genuinely the perfect boyfriend. You two talked whenever you could, and he had been right. By the time you even had time to miss him, he was somehow always there, knocking on the door of your apartment, doing so until he upgraded to waltzing through the door of your shared apartment. 

Steve treated you like a queen, constantly making you question how you got so lucky. He always kissed you like it was going to be the last time, and he made love to you like he was personally trying to drive you crazy with pleasure. You loved him, you loved him, you loved him. You had even told him first, and he had been sad because he had wanted to tell you first for a long time, and that made you sad. So you let him tell you, and then you said it back, and he’d made love to you like he never had before, and it was there, coming undone in his arms, that you told him you loved him again and again and again.

That was why he couldn’t find out you were pregnant. It would start an argument that would ruin you, ruin everything. Steve was hardly home, and you were no different, and while it was never a problem before, it was no environment to raise a baby in. This was the truth. This made sense. Your doctor agreed, and while Steve was off saving the world on an early weekday morning, you were doing what you felt was right.

The 2nd time you got pregnant, you weren’t just disappointed at your carelessness again, but you were also angry. It was no secret that Steve wanted a baby, probably since the first moment he saw you. You always noticed the way he looked at families, the way he smiled and waved at awestruck children. The man had probably come out of the womb ready to be a father, and you loved that about him. And it wasn’t like you didn’t want children too, you certainly did, but just not anytime soon.

You still had a thriving career, and so did he, and neither one of you seemed ready to give that up in the near future. A baby required sacrifice, and you weren’t ready for that yet, and if the way Steve readily took on missions was anything to by, neither was he. You knew that if he found out, he would fight to convince you to keep it, and you would fight to convince him that neither one of you were ready. Like before, you thought to yourself that it would start an argument that could very well be the end for you.

That was where the anger came in.

Why did you keep doing this? How did you keep doing this? Both of you had always been safe, never going without a condom, but after the first pregnancy, you had even gone on birth control too, paranoid and determined to be more responsible. Yet, here you were, pregnant again. You knew what this would do to your relationship, so how could you be so negligent again? It was as if you were subconsciously trying to ruin everything and you hated yourself for it.

Steve had not been away on a mission this time, and you immediately took all of the garbage out under the guise of cleaning the house. He seemed far more attentive that night than usual, but it could have just as easily been your own paranoia. His mouth covered yours in a heated kiss as he pressed his hips to yours, pulling a moan from you.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he murmured into your mouth, pulling back before sliding into you again. 

Your legs were tight around his waist, and his hands were tight on yours. The only thing that filled the room was the sound of heavy moans and harsh breathing, occasionally interrupted by whatever Steve chose to say. It never not surprised you how much Steve enjoyed talking to you in bed. Praising you, degrading you, teasing you. He enjoyed making you squirm from more than just his cock.

“You know what would make you even more beautiful? Radiant?”

“What?” you breathed, hands running through his hair.

“A baby,” he mumbled, lips ghosting over your chin, making you freeze.

At first you thought that maybe he knew. Although there was no logical explanation for thinking that, you’d been very careful, you couldn’t help it. Your heart picked up the pace, but then you realized that Steve was just being Steve. He had mentioned children in passing, but it was done in the way that you mentioned children. Always in a future tense. It had never been like this, so straightforward and with a sense of urgency. 

He wanted a baby now.

“Come on,” you chuckled, trying to brush him off, attempting to press your lips against his.

He moved out of your reach, and you tried not to let it show how much you were bothered by this conversation. His blue eyes searched yours, a faint smile on his face as he hovered over you.

“I’m serious. Think about how beautiful you’d be, round and glowing with my child,” he continued, finally kissing you.

His hips snapped into yours, more force behind his thrusts, like the idea of you swollen with his child was the biggest turn on. You never even got a chance to truly voice your displeasure, a moaning and quivering mess until you finally came around him. Once your heart finally settled, you laid there, thinking about the fact that Steve wanted a baby now despite the fact that neither of your lifestyles could accommodate one. 

When he came back to bed after disposing of the condom, he pulled you into his arms, and you settled against him. He pressed his face into your hair, breathing you in, and you closed your eyes, feeling like the worst girlfriend in the world.

“I can’t wait til we never have to buy those again,” he whispered.

Your heart clenched, and you forced yourself to go to sleep by listing every reason you could think of as to why you were doing the right thing. A week later, Steve kissed you goodbye in the early hours of the morning before he had to leave on another mission. 2 hours later, you were in a doctor’s office doing what you felt was best.

The 3rd time you got pregnant, you were no longer disappointed. Not even angry, but just confused. You were leaning against the closed door of your bathroom, once again staring at that little piece of plastic with nothing but confusion. You were as careful as you could possibly be. After the 2nd pregnancy, you always triple checked to make sure that you never forgot your birth control. You made sure that the house was always stocked with condoms.

You didn’t understand it.

You had been startled by a knock on the door, and you hurriedly rushed to get rid of the test. You hadn’t realized how long you’d been in the bathroom, and Steve had started to get worried. At least, that was what he told you through the door.

“Are you okay?”

What a loaded question. Were you okay? Here you were, pregnant for the third time within a year and you couldn’t figure out how. Of course, it was obvious as to how, but it should have been very unlikely. You knew that condoms, even when paired with birth control, weren’t going to be 100% effective. You were an adult with common sense. That you understood. One unplanned pregnancy wasn’t the most ridiculous thing in the world. Shit happens.

Two within the same year still wasn’t absolutely crazy, but it was a little mind bending when you were more than careful.

But three? Three was concerning.

You opened the bathroom door with a soft smile, nodding at Steve as you stepped out.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

He looked like he didn’t quite believe you, but being the great boyfriend that he was, he didn’t press you further.

“Okay. Breakfast is on the table. Come eat?” he offered, holding out his hand.

You took it and allowed him to lead you to the dining room. Breakfast was as it always was. Steve told you about the last mission he’d just gotten back from only days ago, and you told him about the latest celebrity going through a meltdown over a dress. You enjoyed these talks with Steve, these moments with just the two of you, and you weren’t ready to alter that in any way. Not yet. 

Sometimes you felt like the worst girlfriend in the world, wondering if you were being selfish for wanting it to remain just the two of you for a little while longer. You adored children, but having them wasn’t just some hobby. You would no longer be able to put yourself first, and with so much of your life still ahead of you, you weren’t ready to stop being selfish.

And that was okay.

What wasn’t okay was the lies. No matter how you tried to spin it, no matter how many justifications you made, you were lying to Steve. Perhaps in one of the worst ways possible. Sometimes you felt like you should tell him, but what purpose would it serve? Nothing could be done about the past, and he’d only end up hating you. That was what you were really afraid of. Having Steve stare at you like he didn’t even know who you were.

But you knew how Steve could be. How clouded his mind could get when it came to children and starting a family. The man enjoyed a simple life. He was nostalgic for what he felt he missed out on, and while there was nothing wrong with that, you knew that he wasn’t going to hang up the shield for it. Just like you weren’t going to put your career on pause for it, and you had no intentions of just letting some stranger raise your child. 

You knew that neither one of you were willing to sacrifice in order to raise a baby in the proper environment. That was why during breakfast, as you held Steve’s hand while you two talked and ate, you decided to go through with it for a third time.

The first time had been hard. You kept second guessing everything. You knew that it was the right thing to do, but was it the right thing to do without telling Steve? Without getting his input? Without even giving him the chance to love this baby before you snatched it away? Your body, your choice right? But was it really that black and white? Was any of this fair to him? 

The second time had been easier. You still hadn’t felt any better about it, but at least you weren’t going through an internal crisis. At least you knew what to expect, because that had been the most nerve wracking part, fear of the unknown. Afterwards, your mood wasn’t as sullen for as long as it was after the first time. You had moved past it fairly quickly, but after all, you had been sure it would be the final time. 

The third time wasn’t anything like that. The guilt still ate away at you, but it seemed more like a standard doctor’s visit. A routine checkup. That was what you told Steve it was. He had offered to take you, but you had declined, and he had sent you off with a lingering kiss. You went to get some coffee from Starbucks afterwards.

The months that followed were filled with the usual bliss that surrounded your relationship. You two went to Tony’s parties, occasionally hung out at the compound with the rest of the team, and Steve took you out whenever he was home. Despite your relationship ruining secrets, everything was perfect.

Almost.

“Everytime you come to one of my little soirees, I keep expecting to see you 4 months pregnant,” Tony said, making you bark a laugh.

Steve only chuckled, and you squeezed his hand, sending him a soft smile. The baby talk had increased as of late, but truthfully, it had been gradually increasing for pretty much a year. If it hadn’t been obvious before, it was now. Steve was ready to have children, and while it had been a topic that was only thrown into conversation here and there, you found yourself skimming over the subject at least once a week these days.

Surely you would get to a point where a serious discussion about it would be unavoidable. Steve loved you, and you were sure that you could talk him into waiting. After all, it wasn’t like you would be saying you never wanted kids. Just not now.

“I’m serious. All ‘Capsicle’ here talks about is kids. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think the two of you had been trying for months,” the dark-haired man continued, taking a sip of his drink.

He was throwing his annual holiday party tonight, always placed in between Christmas and New Year’s, despite the fact that he threw parties on those days too. You just thought that Tony liked any excuse to party and drink.

“Sadly no,” Steve said, his tone surprising you. “We’re still just enjoying each other as much as we can. Right?”

He looked at you, and your smile faltered a bit, but you nodded. That was what you always told him whenever the topic came up. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say that Steve sounded bitter, upset even. You turned away from him, taking a sip of your champagne with a frown. You suddenly wondered if he knew, but that was easily dismissed. If Steve knew that you had secretly aborted 3 of his children, you’d be on the receiving end of more than just a strained smile and a passive aggressive tone. 

You worried that tonight would be the night where you’d have the big talk, where you’d have to come out and tell Steve to give you more time. It was wild to think that even though there was nothing wrong with waiting to have kids, you felt horrible about asking Steve to do so. Maybe it was because he’s so sweet? Or because he’s literally never asked you for anything else? Or maybe it was because you had deprived him of what he wanted three times over and the guilt was getting to you.

However, you weren’t able to do that. You hadn’t even realized that you had started to sway until the glass in your hand hit the floor, shattering upon impact. Steve had only a second to turn towards you before you were collapsing in his waiting arms. Against your will, you succumbed to darkness.

When you woke up, you were in the compound. You had been in the infirmary a handful of times so it was recognizable almost immediately. Nat was there when you woke up, and she sent you a small nervous smile.

“Well, hello sleepyhead. You gave us all quite the scare,” she murmured.

You hummed, briefly shutting your eyes as you pressed your hand to your head.

“Sorry. What...what happened?”

“You fainted,” she said, handing you the glass of water that was beside the bed.

You gratefully took it, gulping it down, surprised at how thirsty you were. You thanked her when you handed it back to her and was just about to ask her where Steve was when he strode through the door. His lips were pressed together, and you worried that he’d worried about you, but the sparkle in his eyes betrayed him, and you frowned.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Nat said before making to leave. “Take care of her, Steve.”

He was at your side just as the door shut behind her, and your frown deepened when a blinding smile spread over his lips. You were confused as he took your hand, keeping his lips there as he kissed it.

“Steve…?”

He shook his head.

“Sorry,” he said, sitting down next to you on the bed, facing you as he held your hand. 

The other reached out to brush over your cheek and across your jaw. Despite your confusion, you placed your hand on his, blinking at him, a bit unnerved by the look in his eye. 

You hadn’t seen that look since before you two officially became a couple.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Everything is more than okay.”

He leaned in to press his lips against yours, soft and loving, and you kissed him back. When he pulled away, he looked at you like you were the most precious thing he’d ever seen, like you’d break with one touch.

“You’re pregnant,” he told you.

Your lips parted as his words washed over you, and you struggled to find something to say.

“...what?”

He repeated it with a smile, kissing you again before pulling you into a hug, one you did not return. Everything after that was a blur. Tony came in to make sure everything was fine. Dr. Cho said you were 4 weeks along is what he told you. He’d offered his congratulations, Steve took you home and wasted no time before wrapping his arms around you.

His touch was gentle throughout the night, but it lingered as if he never wanted to stop touching you. You don’t know how many times he made you come around him, but Steve didn’t seem to care about your exhaustion. With his lips constantly attached to your skin, he only cared about getting drunk off the taste of you. You let him have you as much as he wanted. You let him rejoice in this, because it was the least you could do before you broke his heart. 

He was awake in the morning before you, and the smell of breakfast cooking made your stomach growl. Gratefully, you didn’t seem to have any morning sickness, but your stomach still twisted from something entirely different as you made your way to the kitchen. Steve looked like anyone’s dream as he stood there in a fitted t-shirt and pajamas, pushing food onto a plate for you.

“Morning,” you mumbled.

He looked up and approached you with a smile, pressing a kiss to your lips as he returned your greeting.

“Go sit down. I’ll bring you your food,” he told you.

Reluctantly, you did so. You were quiet as he joined you, and you started nibbling on your food.

“Sweetheart,” he scolded at the action. “You’re eating for two now. You need to eat all of it.”

He was right, and under different circumstances you would do as he encouraged, but there was no point in putting this off.

“Steve, I don’t want to have this baby.”

You hadn’t mean to say it so bluntly, but there was no easy way to say it. There was no sense in hesitating. Steve froze almost immediately, and you reluctantly met his eyes as he stared at you. He rested his forearms on the table, a small frown on his face. He looked equal parts floored and confused and hurt, and you sighed.

“...what?”

“We’re not ready,” you whispered.

Steve scoffed, shaking his head at you.

“Of course, we are,” he argued.

“So you’re ready to give up being Captain America?” you asked him.

He hesitated, and you nodded.

“...exactly. You’re not, and that’s okay, and I would never ask you to, but that’s what's going to be required if we’re going to start a family now. You like doing what you do, and I like doing what I do. Neither one of us are ready to put a stop to any of it, at least not for the time being.”

“To be fair, I save lives. There will always be some Hollywood starlet who needs a dress or the latest shoes,” he replied.

“Excuse me?” you scoffed, looking at him like he’d slapped you.

He suddenly huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he eventually said. “I’m just saying that putting that on hold for a few years will hardly impact you. You can always pick it up again like you never left.”

“And why am I the one who has to sacrifice, Steve? You aren’t the only superhero-!”

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry,” he cut you off as your voice started to rise, reaching for your hand.

He brushed his thumb along the back in what was meant to be a soothing getsure, but you were still a bit heated at the way he’d diminished your career. 

“I’m sorry, okay? I just… I know that it’s going to be difficult-.”

“It’s going to be more than difficult. We’re talking about a baby! Both of us need to be here,” you told him.

He heaved a sigh, staring at you.

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I don’t want to have a baby right now. Maybe in a few years, sure, but neither one of us are willing to sacrifice.”

You watched as his jaw ticked, eyes narrowing just a bit as he considered your words.

“So what does that mean?”

You crossed your arms over your chest as you leaned back, avoiding his eye.

“Y/N?”

“Steve-.”

“What the hell are you saying?”

You flinched, not used to Steve cursing, and you knew that he was angry. This very conversation was what you had tried so hard to prevent, and once again, you were cursing yourself for your negligence. How on earth did you manage to get pregnant again?

You stood from the table, trying to put off this fight for five more minutes, the same fight you’d been trying to prevent for a year. You and Steve hardly ever fought, but when you did, it was for the silliest of things. Things you’d both look back on and laugh at.

Not this.

You heard Steve follow you, and his grip on your wrist was hard as he pulled you to a halt. You spun around to face him like he’d lost his mind. You tried to get out of his hold, but he wasn’t budging. He knew what you were implying, what you planned to do, and he was angrier than you’d ever seen him.

“This is my decision,” you quietly told him, making his eyes darken. “You don’t have to agree with it, you don’t even have to like it, but you can’t make me go through with this pregnancy. Neither one of us are ready.”

“So I get no say?”

He tilted his head at you, and you blinked away tears.

“I don’t want this right now, Steve. I don’t, and I’m not going to change my mind, so what do you suggest we do?”

His face softened a bit, and he stepped closer.

“Let’s give it a try. Don’t put your career on hold, okay? We’ll try to make it work-.”

He cut himself off as you started to shake your head.

“No. I’m not going to take a gamble with our child’s livelihood. There should be no ‘trying to make it work’. When you bring a baby into this world, everyone involved should be 100% on board. Things need to start moving into place to accommodate that child. This is not how it should be.”

Steve swallowed, nostrils flaring as you argued, and you sighed again. The silence that followed was heavy, thick with tension and anger and an impending sense of doom. You loved Steve, but not enough to force yourself into having a baby for him. Your chest ached, and you wanted to cry.

“If...if this means that you don’t want to be with me anymore, then I understand, but… I’m not having this baby.”

He let you go, crossing his arms over his chest, and you stood there, waiting for the verdict. His tongue poked at the inside of his cheek, jaw moving as he grinded his teeth.

“We’re not breaking up.”

He continued before you could feel an ounce of relief.

“...and you’re not getting rid of my child.”

You rolled your eyes, swallowing another sigh as you rubbed your forehead.

“Steve-.”

“Do you hear me? You are not getting rid of my child,” he spat.

He stepped closer, and you found yourself narrowing your eyes at him.

“I went through a great deal of trouble to make sure you got pregnant in the first place, and you think I’m just going to let you get rid of it? Let all of it be in vain?”

His words sucked the air out of you, and your eyes widened as the gravity of them fully hit you. Your mouth parted, but no words came out because what could you say? You couldn’t even describe the shock and horror and disgust that tore through you in that moment, and you slowly took a step back from him.

You raised your hands in front of you as your mind whirled, eyes focused on the floor as you blinked. His confession finally put things into perspective. His words put the pieces together, and your breathing grew shallow as you processed the truth.

“I knew it.”

Your words were barely a whisper, but Steve heard you nonetheless, and you took another step back when he walked towards you.

“I knew it. I knew it. I knew it,” you quietly chanted to yourself.

That was the only thing running through your mind. Had your love for Steve allowed you to ignore what was right in front of you? You were diligent with your contraceptive, so so many pregnancies in such a short time had never made sense. You kept blaming yourself despite what was so obvious. Sure, Steve was family obsessed, but you had never considered the possibility. Or did you simply never want to?

You looked up at him like he was a stranger, vision blurry from your tears, and you shook your head.

“I knew it,” you cried. “I fucking knew it.”

Steve’s eyes were narrowed, and his head was cocked to the side, something in his eyes that scared you. 

“I kept wondering and wondering how it kept happening. How did I keep getting pregnant? It made no sense,” you said, more to yourself than him. “...and everytime...I felt bad. I felt like such a horrible girlfriend, and the whole time…”

You yelped when Steve’s hand made its way to your neck, pushing your back into the wall. His blue eyes were dark and venomous, a thunderous look on his beautiful face.

“You killed them?”

You didn’t respond, opting instead for fighting against him, but he wouldn’t move.

“I knew you should’ve been pregnant a long time ago. I made sure of it! And here I was thinking I did something wrong, that I messed up-.”

“Get off of me!”

You didn’t want to hear anything else about his fucked up plan, about how long he’d been doing this. You wanted him off of you and away from you. He pulled you away from the wall before slamming you back against it, making you gasp. You reached up to his chest and neck, desperately trying to get him off, but he only pressed himself more firmly against you.

“Steve,” you begged.

“You don’t know how badly I want to hurt you right now for what you did,” he sneered.

Your heart sank, and you thought to yourself that his lack of self awareness was astounding. How long had Steve been this way? Had he always been like this? How was it possible that you didn’t know your boyfriend at all?

“...but I’m sure that I can look past your betrayal when you are swollen and glowing with my child. That will make it all worth it.”

He kissed you, hard, and you screamed into his mouth. His hands pushed at the t-shirt you were wearing, his shirt, and your hands pushed at him. He lifted you until your thighs were on either side of his hips, and the sound of your hands hitting his skin filled the room. The food was barely thought about as he pressed your back to the table, pinning you down.

You were more terrified than you were five minutes ago, knowing what was about to happen no matter how much you wished you were wrong. Steve Rogers, Captain America himself, your boyfriend, was about to rape you and force you to keep his baby. It was a sentence you had the hardest time accepting, and all of your overwhelming emotions spilled over, turning you into a sobbing mess.

Did you really miss this, or was he just so good at hiding who he truly was? 

Your hits were doing nothing as he reached between you, struggling to release himself with all of your movement. His free hand grabbed both of yours, holding them to your stomach just as he pushed into you. You threw your head back and cried, wondering how you got here. To think, you had thought that you were so lucky. You had thought that you were a terrible girlfriend for what you had been doing. Life was funny that way.

Your body had grown to crave Steve’s. He’d learned how to condition you so well that your core immediately started to clench around him with every thrust. You hated it, and you turned your head away, not wanting to witness him taint something that had never been anything but loving for you. His lips were on your jaw, searching for yours, and you tried to push against his hand.

With his other hand now free, he used them both to pin yours down beside you, lips finally finding yours despite your evident protest. You kept turning your head away, and he kept following. He tasted the inside of your mouth, hips pressing into yours over and over. The table beneath you shook from the force, and your stomach clenched with the pleasure that he was forcing onto you.

How did he do it? Clearly he’d poked a hole in every condom, but you knew it required more than that. Had he replaced your birth control with placebos? Had he acted alone? Tony had just about everything known to man at his disposal. Had he been in on it too?

“You’re going to look so beautiful,” he whispered into your mouth.

Another sob hit you, and you shook.

“You’re going to be absolutely radiant, and you’ll be just as beautiful when you walk down the aisle.”

You gasped at this, increasing your struggle, but he simply pulled your wrists away from the table before slamming them down. You winced in pain, and he hummed.

“...and I’ll fill you up again and again and again.”

You kicked your legs around him, body trembling as hysterical sobs left you, shuddering with every thrust into your dripping core. A particularly hard thrust pushed you over the edge, and the way you fluttered around him triggered his own climax. He came inside of you with a groan, wrapping his arms around you, preventing you from fighting back at all as he pinned your arms to your side.

His cock was still hard and still inside of you, his lips pressing kisses to your face. You felt like you were in a bad dream, and you wanted to wake up so badly. His lips traveled to your ear, brushing along the skin, and a shudder passed through you.

“Everyone will know that I tamed you, that I broke you until you were mine in every way.”

~

tags:  @darkficreposter​​​​ @xoxabs88xox​​​​ @harryspet​​​​ @readermia​​​​ @opheliadawnwalker3​​​ @nickyl316h​​​​ @captainchrisstan​​​​ @sebabestianstan101​​​​ @villanellevi​​​​ @lokislastlove​​​​ @notyourtypicalrose​​​​ @coconutqueen21​​​​ @hurricanerin​​​ @trinittyy​​​ @hyoyeoniie​​​ @kellyn1604​​​ @sherrybaby14​​​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​​ @mandiiblanche​​ @gotnofucks​​ @oneoftheprettynerds​​ @doozywoozy​​ @sapphirescrolls​​ @threeminutesoflife​​ @searchforanotherway​​ @mcudarklibrary​ @ksjksjkv​

[soliverse]

sugar, sugar - z.cl

reader x chenle

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: a kiss in the cheek, cuss words, pessimism (I think that’s about it? Let me know if I missed something.

word count: 6.2k

part of the Candy Hearts Collab by @127-mile (click the link if you want to read the rest of the collab)

synopsis: Your whole life, especially working for your boss, is a living nightmare. That was until you got some sugar in your life.

inspiration:

Isn’t It Romantic (The film from Netflix by Rebel Wilson),

Sugar, Sugar by the Archies

networks

@nctcreations @kdiarynet @kpopscape @kwritersworld @culture-cafe @neowritingsnet @neoswitchnet @czennienet

February 13,202x / 8:00 AM

It was a quiet and peaceful morning. Which is too bad since that’s not what you’re aiming for.

Your alarm should’ve sounded at 6:00AM. Instead, it woke you up an hour late despite how much fumbling and crying that you did make it work last night.

You have completely ditched breakfast, running as fast as you can to the bus stop that never comes and leave as scheduled.

Already half an hour late, you still sat down that bus seat, fidgeting as if not staying calm on your seat will make the bus ride shorter. Right now, the only thing that you’re still holding on to is that small, sliver of hope that you get there before your boss does.

After climbing down the vehicle, you ran like you’re in a marathon and looked for that one window that your coworker always leaves open whenever you’re late like today. You ungracefully climbed up the window of the storage room and met Jisung, who’s already getting himself ready before opening.

“Is he here yet?”

You whispered as you tried to dust your red shirt and smoothened out your wrinkled uniform. The goal is to make yourself look decent, an attempt that you barely managed to accomplish

“He just came in. Hurry up before he notices.”

You mouthed “Thanks” to Jisung before leaving the storage room and sneak into the main entrance to log yourself in for today.

Your eyes scanned the candy-themed decorations for any signs of life (or danger, in your boss’ case) but he is nowhere to be found. You walked casually towards the main entrance, breathing only a sigh of relief as soon as you get to the front door.

Finally feeling at ease, you pressed your thumb on the device that records your time and gave yourself a mental pat in the back for actually pulling it off. At least, before a hand pops out of nowhere and touched you by shoulder.

You yelped at the surprise appearance of your ever-so-stealthy boss right behind you.

“You’re late again.”

He was staring at you with those black intense eyes and his resting bitch face. His expression always made you worry because there’s no way to actually now if he’s mad or not. You kept your head down and tried to avoid as much eye contact as possible.

“Surprised? I saw your little stunt by the window. You know that it’s right in front of my office, right?”

He patted your shoulder before placing his hands back to his pockets.

“You also know that I’ll be deducting that on your payroll, right?”

“Yes sir.”

He didn’t even let you finish and just turned his back at you, walking towards his office.

“That reminds me. We should bolt that window down before someone else tries to sneak in and steal. Tell Jisung to work on that as soon as possible.”

As soon as he’s out the way, you rolled your eyes and went back to straightening the wrinkles off of your uniform.

“Tell Jisung to work on that as soon as possible.” You said, mimicking him made faces behind his back.

As if Jisung knows how to shut that window properly.

 After that delightful conversation, you helped Jisung in refilling the candy containers, tidied the shop by little bit, and breathe for one final time today before you opened the shop.

Some people may have imagined working on a candy store to be a dream. You get to bask in all of the aesthetics, you get to interact with children every day, and there’s that perk that you get to enjoy an unlimited supply of sweet treats during your shift.

Oh boy, some people couldn’t have been more wrong.

Your location is near an amusement park, which is already hectic as it is, but you also need to deal with stuff that all retail staff goes through.

If you were to make an entire list of the stressful situations that you have to deal with every single shift, it would take you all day.

There are children throwing temper tantrums because their parents refused to buy the candy that the wanted, entitled Karens demanding free candy because you made her baby cry, teenagers who thinks they’re so smart by stealing handful of candies from their containers while you’re distracted. It’s a mess.

And that’s beside your main source of stress. That one is sitting on his office at the back of the store, probably playing some game on his phone while you act as both staff and manager, is the best boss in the world, Mr. Zhong Chenle.

Note the sarcasm.

That guy deserves a whole separate list by himself.

///

So far, the first few hours of your shift went smoothly. There were a few customers here and there but nothing that you and Jisung can’t handle.

All is well. But if you’ve worked retail before, you would know that those words are cursed.

You’ve always had this thing where you’d get a stomachache whenever something bad is about to happen. Ever since that one nice lady earlier told you to keep the change with a very kind smile, your stomach has been grumbling like crazy.

You sneaked into the counter and sat there for a moment to rest. The pain is bearable, but it makes it very hard for you to breathe properly. After taking a few deep breaths, the pain subsided a little bit.

Until, someone wrapped their arms around you, startling you off the chair and had you freefalling straight into your butt.

“I’m not paying you to slack off Y/N. Do something. I don’t know… rearrange the Valentines display. Just don’t sit around while there’s so much stuff to do.”

He dusted his overprized outfit that probably cost more than your wage, even grabbing the hand sanitizer from his pocket, completely acting like you had a contagious virus that.

Fighting the urge to talk back, you just turned around and went back to work.

Someday, I’m going to punch that resting bitch face off his face.

Someday.

You went back and found Jisung painstakingly arranging the M&M piece by piece, arranged by color, size and filling.

The kid makes you worry sometimes.

He’s a good kid but sometimes he can be a bit… clueless?

You remembered the first time that your boss bought a cotton candy machine and asked you and Jisung to figure out how to operate it. He almost left work with nine fingers that day.

“Hey kid. Bossman wants us to change the Valentines display.” You explained as you walk over to the center of the room where the display case is placed.

“Not again. What does he want this time?”

“I don’t know. His only instruction is do something.”

He whined for a bit, but he followed your lead shortly after and started removing all of the candy jars on display one by one.

You started working on it as well, hoping that he (aka the owner) won’t notice that you just switched the glass containers of the candy displays with each other and then placed them back in their original place.

You realized that he probably didn’t know what the display looked like in the first place. It’s just more unnecessary work just to keep you moving.

To pass the boredom, you decided to dote on the kid that is busy making a bouquet of out of rose-shaped lollipops right beside you.

“Sooo…”

You said in a high-pitched voice and tried to lighten up the mood a little.

“Any plans for the V-day?”

He stops for a moment, bowing his head down while he tried to hide his shy smile.

“I’m taking this girl out bowling.”

You squealed and poked his side to tease him. He used to be a little highschool kid that you were told to keep an eye on just in case he accidentally kills himself. It was a headache at first, but he grew on you and now he feels like your honorary little brother.

“Awww. My Jisungie is grown up. It felt like it was just yesterday when I was to trying to teach you to tie your own shoelaces. And now, you’ve got a girlfriend”

“Uhm Y/N. That was yesterday.”

You were about to pinch his cheeks once again when Chenle squeezed himself in between you and Jisung.

“And now you’re flirting. Geez. Do I have to do everything around here?”

Why does this guy keep popping out of nowhere?

He stared you and Jisung down before he slithered back to his office once again. You just stood there in disbelief, shaking your head as you went back to work.

///

The end of the day went by smoothly, which made you worry even more. As you return some of the candy displays back to the stock room, you can’t help but think that today was just the calm before the storm.

Take last year’s Valentines for example.

The shop was stuffed with that a customer fainted because of suffocation. Jisung was bleeding because some guy punched him for flirting with his girlfriend (even though the poor kid is just being nice and gave her one of the extra candy flowers.)

And oh, no dates. While everyone is busy celebrating the love that they will share together you celebrated at the fact that the day is all over.

Ever since you’ve started working at that shop, you’ve never really tried to meet new people. You keep explaining that you’re tired all day. That your job is very demanding time-wise and physically. But in reality, no one just asked you out.

You could’ve quit, but who would take in a highschool graduate without work experience? You’ve barely saved up for a whole college semester, let alone the curriculum. There’s nothing to do besides suck it up.

It’s just one of those things that you stop celebrating as you get older.

Valentine’s day, your birthday, your birthday which is the same day as Valentine’s day.

Sighing, you picked up the stack of empty boxes that you needed to take outside for the garbage truck. Once again, Chenle pops out of nowhere, hitting some of the boxes that tumbled back on the floor. His are arms folded at his chest, sneering because of the mess that he created.

“Will you clean up this mess? It’s almost closing.”

You just pursed your lips, nodding as you stacked the boxes once again, trying very hard not to lose your composure.

“And will you please close the lights outside this time? I doubt that can pay for the damages if this shop burns down.”

Back turned against your employer, you picked up the boxes from the floor. You’re just glad that it is tall enough to cover most of your face. If someone could see your face right now, they would say that it is the face of someone that is about to murder somebody. Which is getting closer and closer to reality every single time Chenle opens his mouth.

Besides, you left one of the lights open one time. His petty ass just can’t seem to live it down.

“I’ll make sure to double check before leaving, sir.”

“Good. Make it quick.”

Holding out the boxes, you figured that he’d at least hold the door out for you. You had that one tiny glimmer of hope that he’s nice after all and you judged him too hastily.

Nope.

He slams the door right behind him and closed the lights from outside.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

You slammed the boxes down to search for the lights and open the door for yourself.

Just one punch. I need just one punch and that’s it. He’s gonna get what’s coming to him.

Scrambling in the dark, you almost faceplanted as you tripped one of the boxes in your way. With your arms stretched out as you feel up your surroundings, it took you a few minutes before you’ve finally managed to open the switch and see the mass that you made while stumbling.

You just facepalmed and stood there for a while, reminding yourself to take deep breaths and calm yourself before you actually burn this place down.

One by one, you stacked the boxes once again in one corner, making sure secure them this time. Keeping the door open, you’ve successfully placed them inside the bins.

One box in particular fell down to the ground. You picked it up to stuff it back to the garbage can but the motion made a rattling noise.

I must’ve missed a piece.

You dusted off the nearby pavement and sat down so you can open the box.

Inside was a few bags of candy, adorned with the usual red and white swirls with the text “Sweet Escape” taking over most of the packaging.

This one must be new.

You stuffed the box back to the garbage can, looked around for signs of a snooping, grumpy adult and placed candy on one of your back pockets.

If your boss found out that you messed up the inventory again, he will not hesitate to fire you. You’re just gonna have to sneak it inside before he gets there tomorrow. Well, assuming that your alarm clock works this time.

///

“Mom, what’s for dinner?”

You closed the door behind you and took off your shoes as entered your living room.

Throwing your keys and jacket aside, you’ve just noticed that the lights are all off and the house is eerily quiet.

You grunted as your sore feet walked itself to the kitchen, only to find a single note on the counter.

Me and your sister went out to eat tonight. Just order something for dinner

Love Mom,

All you ever wanted that night that you just to a nice, warm dinner and go straight to the bed and shut yourself from the world.

Great. No breakfast and dinner.

Fuck my life.

You threw the note in the garbage bin and just stomped your way to your room. You felt like breaking down at that moment but you didn’t have the strength to make cry and make a fuss. Maybe you can just sleep all the frustrations off and feel a lot better tomorrow.

Maybe it doesn’t get much worse than this.

You scoffed.

Sike.

As if.

You slammed yourself to bed but soon realized that it wasn’t a very good idea.

You felt something in your pocket popped and it made a huge mess in your bed. You took it out of the pocket and realized that it was the bag of candy from earlier. The seams popped out and tore open from being squished by a tired, underpaid employee.

At this point, you just glared and cursed yourself once as you cleaned the candy off of your bed. Some of the candy is inside the box, so you cupped your hands and poured the remaining contents to your palms. It was filled with tiny colorful candy hearts, which looked appetizing despite the tiny bits of disfiguration and the fact that it was in your pockets the whole time.

Well, I guess this is dinner then.

You popped the candy in your mouth, letting it sit as it oozes a strong citrusy flavor. It had a texture similar to those fever tablets for kids. In fact, it tasted like medicine a bit, too.

The citrus taste kept on spreading in your mouth and your face now contorted to a grimace. It felt like all moisture is getting sucked out of your body.

They sell this to kids?

You ran to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water to water the taste down. It didn’t do anything, so, you kept on chugging more and more water until you’ve finished an entire gallon of liquids.

You sat down at the kitchen floor and breathe a sigh of relief. The taste finally left your tastebuds, but you can still feel your body feeling repulsed by the extreme sour sugary candies that you just consumed.

Drinking one more glass of water, you went back to your room and changed into your comfortable clothes, finally ready to leave this day behind.

Let’s just hope that those candy bits won’t get you sued tomorrow.

///

February 14,202x / 8:00 AM

The alarm started blaring off from its place, scaring you shitless and making you jump out of bed in panic.

 You could've have been happier and more annoyed at the same time.

You leaned against your bedroom wall, giving yourself a few minutes to calm yourself down before you decided to turn off the alarm.

Once your heartbeat has cooled down, you stepped back to the bedside table and pressed the alarm button to check the time.

8:00AM

"Dammit!”

Your heart started to race once again. This time, it’s the adrenaline rush that’s making you move faster than normal. You even contemplated about getting a shower. However, you're already screwed as it is, you're not going to work without breakfast and shower again.

You stepped back to your room, wrapped on a bathrobe and panting like you just ran a marathon. Digging into your own closet, you noticed that your uniform, a red polo shirt and matching star white pants, is missing from your closet.

"Mom! Have you seen my uniform?"

You shouted from your room but you heard no answer. It seems like they didn't stay the night either.

Great.

Seeing as how your day started, you've deemed the rest of the day unsalvageable and just grabbed the closest thing to red that you have on your closet, which is a red frilly blouse and a white paneled skirt that you've never worn before. It's right at the bottom of your closet, so you've figured you or your mother bought this before and just forgot all about it.

You also grabbed one of your newer shoes to match and bolted to the front door as fast as possible.

You locked the door behind you, only to be spooked as you turned around to see a car parked in your driveway.

It was one of those fancy ones too. The ones that have their doors open at the side like an alien spaceship.

You only know one person in the world that's flashu enough to ride one. And he's just came out of the car.

"Happy birthday! You're pretty early..."

Chenle smiled as jogs over to you, keys jingling on his fingers, and gave you a small peck on the cheek.

You stood there in your porch, frozen.

Zhong Chenle knows how to smile. And he knows about your birthday

"I was about to call you but I didn't want to wake you up. So, I came over instead. Did you eat your breakfast yet?"

You shook your head hesitantly, still unable to speak and process the situation.

"No good, young lady. Go back inside. We're not leaving with an empty stomach."

 ///

 Here's something that you never encounter every day. Your spawn-of-the-devil employer is making you pancakes in the kitchen. And you finally have fresh milk in your fridge.

What happened to the world while you were sleeping?

"I'm not a professional chef but at least it's edible."

He said as he placed a perfectly fine plate full of fluffy pancakes right in front of you. Is this him being cocky?

He sets the apron aside and sat down right in front you, grabbing a plate and a piece of pancake for himself.

"Go on... Tell me if it's good."

You hesitantly took a bite, and then chewed in silence as Chenle expectantly watched you from the side. You set the fork down, speechless.

They're as good on the inside as they looked on the outside.

 "You don't like it?"

He sounded upset. It wasn't like "I can't believe you forgot to do this thing that I told you" upset either. He looked at you with his puppy dog eyes and a bit of a pout.

You froze. What if all of this is trick? And this is just is way of firing you, like letting you down gently in case you formed a vendetta and burn the shop down in your anger.

Which, for the record, is partly true.

"Uhm. It's nice. It's very niceee"

In your panic, you might've overdone the compliment. It sounded like you're on gunpoint and you had to say it to live. Nevertheless, he still smiled to himself and took the compliment well, even pouring you another glass of milk so "it would go down better".

The interaction alone gave you the chills. It felt like you're walking on thin ice and the former Chenle will come out and bury you alive. But even that would've sound more real than what's about to happen next. 

Like the gentleman that he is, he opened the car door for you. You never even got the chance to question where the two of you are going. After sitting down, just when you're about you're about to ask, he held your hand and gave it a kiss.

"You buckled up?"

"Uhm. Yes..."

Still holding your hand, he pressed some buttons on the dashboard and then music started playing. You recognized that it was that song, Sugar Sugar by The Archies. It’s one of the songs that you ironically played in the candy shop. There was also Sugar by Maroon 5, Sugar by Florida.

Well, you get the point.

“Sugar Ah, honey, honey You are my candy girl And you got me wanting you…”

He proceeds to sing along to the song merrily as he backed up your driveway. Meanwhile you sat there quietly as you tried to assess your situation. 

Is this kidnapping? Would it be considered kidnapping if I willingly went inside the vehicle?

Once you’ve realized how ridiculous you sounded in your head, you relaxed for a bit and started humming along to the song. It was at this point that you realized that Chenle had a beautiful voice. The song didn’t have high notes, but it was hard to make your voice pop up with the middle register. It sounded stable, like he’s a recording artist.

The atmosphere at the shop would be much better if he sang like this all the time.

…which reminded you of something that Chenle might be neglecting to think.

Panic washed over you and soon, you can’t keep still and moved around your seat a lot.

“Are you comfortable?

He kept on glancing on your direction, keeping you in check for a few moments while he still kept an eye on the road,

“We can make a quick stop if you need something.”

Trying your best to keep yourself still, you finally sat down and placed both of your hands on your lap, like the kids at school when their parents ask them to behave.

“Where are we going again?”

The question finally popped out and you pursed your lips while trying to wait for the answer.

“I don’t know. It’s your day. We can go wherever you want to.”

“Oh.”

It’s not like him to be away from the shop at this time of the day, let alone the whole day. No matter how sucky he is, he did what is best for the shop. It was his baby.

And if the both of you aren’t going, then it only means one thing. His baby is screwed at the hands of someone.

"By the way, who's taking care of the candy shop?"

You tried to ask nonchalantly, but it only came out sounding more inconspicuous.

"Oh yeah. I left Jisung in charge."

He wistfully replied. Suddenly, you feel your head spinning from your seat from the sheer realization that he left the kid alone, in his shop, with no adult/proper supervision.

"You left Jisung alone... In charge... On Valentine's Day"

You turned your gaze away from him, trying to hide your internal panic. You'll be lucky if the guy made it alive until lunch by himself.

"Relax. He'll be fine. He's with the trainees. Figured it might teach them a thing or two in getting the actual job done."

“And with trainees too… oh my god.”

Great. More casualties.

“You don’t mind if we stopped by the shop first, do you?”

“Of course. You’re the boss.”

///

In a few minutes, he pulls over to the parking lot and you’re glad to see the shop in piece. On the outside at least.

You stepped inside the car and practically ran over to the inside of the shop, leaving Chenle behind.

“Welcome to Sweet Escape, how may I help you?”

Two unknown faces greeted you at the door. They must be the trainees that Chenle talked about earlier.

“Would you happen to know where Jisung is?”

They both nodded and pointed to the direction of the left side of the shop, which was supposed to be all the supplies were. Instead, there was Jisung on the register, which by the way looked different from what you can remember.

In fact, the whole shop looked nothing like it was yesterday. The colors seemed more vibrant and festive and the whole thing looked like a candy wonderland. To be honest, it reminded you of that one Katy Perry music video.

Jisung bowed at you formally and wore his usually customer service smile.

“Welcome to Sweet Escape, how may I—”

“How many fingers do you have now?”

You replayed the question in your head and it sounded just as crazy when it came out of your mouth. At this point, you decided to continue on with the question. For obvious safety reasons.

“Uh ma’am. What do you mean?”

“Hold your fingers up. How many do you have?”

He was hesitant to do as you say. Chenle just facepalmed and gestured him to do as you said, putting up all of his tall fingers in the air.

“Ten?”

You breathe a sigh of relief, almost rushing over to hug the confused Jisung when Chenle pulls you from behind.

“Please excuse her for the moment. She’s feeling a bit under the weather.”

He smiled and bowed to Jisung as an apology, another gesture that you haven’t seen him do before, pulling you outside the store to give you some air. Once you’ve reached the parking lot, he placed his hands on your shoulders to hold you still.

“Okay. Since when is hugging my staff became a thing?”

He stares you down with a genuine concerned look on his face.

He placed one of his hands on your forehead.

“It’s not like you’re sick either…”

Chenle sighs, finally releasing you from his grasp

“Tell me. What’s the problem?”

He sat you down at the pavement and gave you enough space to reflect on your actions.

You had the choice to say that you have absolutely no idea what’s happening to you right now, but you thought that he ought to know why you’re acting that way. Now, you just have to figure out how to explain it to him without sounding like a crazy person.

“I…”

You started slow, working your way into explaining that you woke up into this insane dream about how her boss is suddenly so nice to her that morning.

And then it hit you.

“I had a dream about you...”

Ideas started pouring down to your head, starting to piece together a story that actually made sense.

“And in that dream, you’re this mean guy that never cared about me and other people’s feelings. You just made everyone around you miserable. The dream felt so real so I’m very uncomfortable that you’re acting nice to me now.”

“Is that so?”

You nodded your head as an answer. Chenle pulls you over to a side hug, relief washing over him knowing that it wasn’t that bad as he made it up to be.

“I’m sorry if that mean version of me hurt you.”

He rested his head on your shoulders and pulled you closer to him.

“If I decided to be mean to you in a dream again, feel free to punch me or whatever. I promise to make up for all of it once you wake up.”

It was probably the nicest thing that anyone has said to you in a while. Even though it wasn’t actually him who’s hugging you and making you feel all warm inside, you’re not going to see your boss the same way again.

“You know what, why don’t we start now. There’s plenty of time today to make it up to you.”

He stood up from his seat and brushed himself, helping you do the same right after.

“Where does my y/n want to go right now?”

Your lips formed a mischievous smile.

You knew just where you wanted to go at that moment, but he’s probably not going to like it

///

“Would it hurt you to rest for one second?”

You’ve been running around the theme park for the whole day and Chenle just barely kept up to you and your antics. He gave you a small opportunity for a payback and you’re not going to let it slide. Even if it’s with nice Chenle.

You were about to run off again somewhere when he tugs you by the hem of your shirt.

“Y/N-ah, don’t you feel sick at all?”

Chenle’s eyes droop down as he tried to compose himself. As someone that doesn’t like heights and gets dizzy easily, it seems like he’s about to faint any minute now.

“But I want to ride the Ferris wheel.”

He went sheet white, if that is humanly possible. Chenle had barely enough time to recover from the roller coaster ride a few minutes ago and now you’re already on your way to hop in to another one.”

“Fine. We can rest. I don’t think my ears can handle any more of your screaming.”

You can hear Chenle complaining under his breath. The two of you went to the horror house a while ago and there was a high-pitched screaming the whole time. You’ve been teasing him with it ever since.

“I told you, that wasn’t me!”

“The only person inside is you and me. And I don’t remember screaming my own name for fifteen minutes.”

His mouth opened like he was about to say something, but he stopped midway and just took your hand to drag you at the nearest bench. He sat you down first before he took the seat right next to you, both palms on his face and trying to give himself a moment to breathe.

As much as you wished to torment that guy to death, he really looked sick to his stomach. He can barely lift his head up without taking deep breaths.

“You alright?”

You said as you patted his back gently, giving some time to relax and a moment to breathe.

“I’m fine. I did say that I’ll do anything for you today.”

He takes one last breathe before getting up the bench, only to lean on one side too much and almost toppling over.

“Yeah. I think were done for the day. You can barely stand up.”

You sat him back at the bench and caressed his back to get him to relax. Not even a minute after sitting back down, he did a thumbs up to let you know that he’s doing fine already.

“What time is it?”

“4:30. Why?”

He tried his best to stand up and keep himself still. This time, his attempt was successful.

“I’ll drive you home.”

“Are you sure?”

“You can barely stand up. What makes you think that you can drive?”

“Just trust me.”

///

Sure enough, you both got to your house unscathed.

He told you to step out of the car, which you did, and he smoothly backed the car to your garage.

“How was that?”

He said smugly just as he came out of the car, keys jingling on his fingers once again. You can joke about his motion sickness but you can’t comment on his driving.

Chenle was then about to enter your house, but you stopped him just before he turned the doorknob.

“You know what, I had a lot of fun today. It’s probably the best birthday slash Valentine’s Day that I’ve had a whole life. I think you deserve this…”

You held up your fist into a ball and pretended to land a punch to his face. He winced, which gave you and opportunity to tiptoe and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He stood there frozen for a few seconds, but it was replaced by a cheeky, boyish smile that he’s been hiding from you the whole time that you know him.

You twisted the doorknob and stepped inside your house first, when a popping sound greeted you from inside.

Turns out, those were party poppers.

“Surprise!”

Your whole family is there, alongside all of your friends from way back highschool.

“Sorry for missing you this morning sweetie, we needed some time for the party preparations. Chenle did a good job of distracting you the whole day.”

An arm wrapped itself on your shoulders and gave it a tight squeeze. It didn’t take long for you to find out who it was.

“She made me ride the roller coaster, twice.”

“Stop being a baby. I asked you the second time but you refused to come with me.”

Laughter fills the room and it went for the rest of the night. The celebration wasn’t fancy but it was enough for you to realize what life you’re missing in the real world. And as much you want to make it longer, sooner or later you’re going to have to come back to your old life.

That time was the next day.

///

February 14,202x again / 6:00 AM

The shrill sounds of the alarm clock woke you up, but you were smiling ear to ear. Something about your dream have placed you in a very good mood. Too bad you can’t remember the specific details. All you know is that there’s a car, the shop, the theme park… Zhong Chenle.

Why would it be a nice dream if your boss was in it?

Before you started conspiring some theories, you shook it off and started to get ready for today. To your surprise, the alarm woke you up on time. This means that you can take your sweet time in getting ready, possibly even make yourself an English breakfast for a change.

Your plans are foiled, however, when you realized that the kitchen wasn’t empty.

“Happy birthday…”

Your mom came from the living room to give you the tightest hug. She hasn’t hugged you like this for a long time, so you reciprocated and pulled her in a tighter embrace.

“I’m sorry that this is all we can afford for now…”

She sits you down the table and pushed the small bento cake right in front you. It is not bigger as your hands, but the pink icing and the decorations looked so delicate and beautiful.

“I promise to make you a better cake next year.”

“This is all I need Mom, thank you for doing this.”

///

Everything is going smoothly today. The bus is on time and the driver even gave you a small Valentine’s card as you went inside. For the first time in your life, you looked at the streets painted different shades of red and you’re perfectly fine with it.

You even got to work early. Doors are still shut down when you got there, so you decided to climb up the storage window so you don’t have to wait outside. As instructed, you finally locked it behind you and made it a point to be on time so you’ll never have to use it again.

You started with work right away, cleaning up as much as you can before everyone gets there. While you were mopping the main shop, you can hear keys jingling from outside, meaning that your boss already got there. The door swings forward and upon turning around, he opened the lights, only to see you standing in the middle of the shop.

He screamed at an ungodly pitch and almost fell down at his place.

“Oh, it’s just you. That wasn’t me, alright? ”

He dusted himself off tried his act together and be as cold as before, only to be embarrassed because you kept laughing at his face.

You tried to keep a straight face and bowed at him to excuse yourself. If your tardiness won’t get you fired today, it would probably be your excessive laughing.

“This is the horror house all over again.”

You swear that you heard him mumble something else, but you weren’t sure if you heard it right.

What are the odds that he dreamt about a horror house too, right?

Before you got the chance to go though, he said something that made your heart race for the rest of the day.

“You were there too, right? I just want you to know that that was really me.”

You turned around to see if he’s joking, but instead found a smiling Chenle at the other end of the shop.

“I actually liked you for a while now. So forgive me for always lashing out on you.”

He placed his hands on his pockets and walked slowly towards you, his head down while he tried to hide his shy smile.

“Happy birthday Y/N. I don’t mind repeating that day again... just don’t make me ride the roller coaster twice this time.”

///

[huearmy]

Life is Beautiful - III

Summary: You are a glass half full person, your life motto is “Life is too short to… Insert something and anything here”. During your whole life you wanted something more, and even not knowing what it is, you put yourself to find out and get it, experiencing everything  brilliant that the world offers - within the measure of what is safe, of course. The curious thing is that your way of living ended up rousing  the interest of two vampires. One who sees beauty in everything and  loves to exist, currently working with suicide prevention; and another one who no longer sees grace in things, in that boring immortality that never ends, and only complains about the Netflix catalog all the time.

Pairing: Jimin x reader / Taehyung x reader.

Genre: fluff, angst, mature (not really a smut i guess?)…

Words:   8k+.

Rating: +18

Warnings:    As much as my writing is soft and light, and as these are not the main  topic of the story, treated in a non-descriptive way, there are sensitive themes from the beginning of the first chapter to the end of the fic that can trigger sensitive people, like depression, suicide, addictions in general - Jimin literally works at a suicide prevention center here.  SO PLEASE! Read responsibly, my intention when dealing with topics like  this is always 1) dealing with them in myself, as a way of putting out  part of my own healing process 2) generating identification in other  people, so they can go through the difficult time a little less alone.  THIS IS A STORY THAT SEES THE WORLD WITH POSITIVITY.

Chapter I Chapter II -

As soon as Jimin left for his date with you, giving one last thanks kiss on Taehyung's cheek, the house suddenly became darker and too huge, all the colors and brightness going away with Jimin's presence.

Even after a few minutes Taehyung was still on his spot in the middle of the living room, where he wished his best friend luck. What should he do now? How should he spend his empty time? He looked around, bored eyes not fixing on anything in particular. He slowly walked to the kitchen, just because it was the first door in front of him, and without thinking at all, opened the fridge. Since it was the refrigerator of two vampires, obviously there was only one thing inside, a few bags of blood labeled by type, and nothing more but empty space. It had been a few days since the last time Tae had eaten, and it was nowhere near as much as he was used to consuming, or as much as Jimin wanted him to take. He could feel his stomach empty, but he had no desire to take even a drop, almost feeling sick at the idea. He closed the fridge.

He sighed. A whine caught his attention to the floor, a tiny, cute, confused Yeontan looking up at him.

"You would never leave me, right?" Tae asked with a pout. The puppy just whined again. Tae picked him up, right in front of his face. "I need to find a way to turn you into an immortal creature."

With the little dog firm in his arms he got back to his room, seeing no other option on what to do than play video games till Jimin's return. His colorful neon set up welcoming waiting for him. Games are just uninteresting as series and movies, but at least playing online, with unknown, and often hostile, people, he feels a little less lonely. He has kind of some friends or so called, he doesn't really know any of them, never have met them in real life - he doesn't even want to - but it's been a while since they occupied an important part of Tae's existence, just for being his company.

He played with the loud people till around four in the morning, keeping himself silent in the call for most of the time, just hearing them teasing themselves and picking silly fights over nothing from time to time, talking only when someone talked directly at him. Then the mortals one by one go to bed, and he goes all alone again. Even Yeontan is soundly sleeping.

What should he do now? And why didn't Jimin come home yet? It had been more than ten hours since he left... He got into the bad habit of getting home in the morning, betting on running in the sun, almost killing Tae with worry. Maybe he had so much fun that he lost track of time, maybe there's another cat to find... But what if something bad happened? Should dates take so long to end? Should Tae call? He never calls, today shouldn't be any different... Maybe he would get in the way of something fun or important, the last thing he wants is to bother Jimin...

At the end Taehyung was standing by the front window, hiding behind the curtains, not moving a muscle, waiting, as usual. The street was empty, no light coming from the other big beautiful houses's windows, no cars or pedestrians to observe, yet that was what he was doing. The dark sky started to light up, his eyes adapting to it, the sun showing up painfully slowly. A movement caught  Tae's attention, his side neighbor taking the trash out, like he always do on tuesday and thursday, and in the other days the old man still wake up pretty early and sit at his porch to watch the sun rise, drinking coffee, with his old cat on his lap. Taehyung saw him in this routine with three different old cats at different times. The old man practically dragged the black bag of garbage and himself down the sidewalk to the dump, with short and slow steps he went. As always. Maybe there was something wrong before and Tae didn't notice, maybe it was because of the wet grass and mud formed by the storm the night before that they still didn't dry, but the old man fell a few feet from the curb, and for some reason he wasn't trying to get up.Like, he was moving in some way, but wasn't getting up.

Taehyung waited, not blinking an eye as he stared at the man struggling on the ground, immeasurable torturing seconds. Then the man stopped moving at all. And something kicked inside Tae. He didn't even think, he couldn't. He was unable to stop and reason about it, or control his own body... To look out the window and notice that the sun had risen enough to illuminate the front door that he was now opening at full speed. When the sunlight touched his skin, it burned like hell, forming instant painful blisters, but he didn't hesitate and just ran outside. Straight to the old man, catching him without stopping and then crashing their both bodies on the porch.

"Hey, are you ok?" Tae choked, feeling his lungs burning. "Sir!"

The man didn't respond, instead he was emitting weird choking sounds, heart not beating the right way. Even before his self isolation, Tae didn't have too many experiences with mortals than casually knowing them and drinking from them, he knows they are fragile, but he doesn't study or get interested like Jimin, he didn't know what was happening. Was this man having a heart attack? A stroke? What should he do? He doesn't know the symptoms of their diseases... Jimin would know... But now Taehyung was all alone and half of his mind was focused on his aching skin that seemed to be melting into the sun itself. With his trembling hand Tae reached to his phone in his hoodie's pocket, already dialing.

"What is your emergency?" A voice came from the other side.

"H-hello... Good morning... I..." He stammered. "My neighbor passed out in... infront of his house. He is not ok. He is old."

"Noted. Please calm down. Can you tell me your address so I can send an ambulance?"

"Sure..." Tae recited the address he only uses to purchase things on the internet. "It's a big white house, with a big porch."

"An ambulance is already on it's way."

"Thanks..."

Taehyung tried to sigh in relieve, but now he couldn't stop thinking about his own bad situation. The porch was providing shadow for him to hide, but for how much time? And when the paramedics would come and see him like that, what would they do? He didn't have the strength to run back home, the morning sun is not so strong, but exposing himself to it's light twice is suicide. And he couldn't enter the neighbor's house, there was no one to ask permission to. There wasn't no one to ask for help. He was going to die alone. When Jimin arrived from his date all he would be able to find would be Taehyung's ashes... Nothing more...

"Jiminie..." Tae was crying now, dialing the only number registered in his contact list.

Just one second - literally - later his friend's voice greeted him.

"Yes?" Jimin's voice came like a whisper, a happy, satisfied smile audible in it.

"Jimin? Are you coming home?" Tae tried to sound calm, so he wouldn't ruin everything with Jimin date experience and all, but his voice betrayed him, showing nothing but the fear he was feeling. He just didn't want to bother.

"Tae, what's wrong?" Jimin mirrored his feelings now. Tae breathed once, the air burning inside, and then practically vomited the words of nervousness. "I'm outside, on our neighbour's porch. I can't go back inside... The sun will reach me, Jimin. I don't know what to do." He was panicking, the world around him was spinning, getting him overwhelmed.

"Keep on where there are shadows no matter what. I'll be there soon. Don't cry ok?" Saying to him not to cry had the exact opposite effect. Once again, vampire's tear ducts are basically dry - especially after almost being charred, their bodies retain all possible liquid - but the other symptoms of crying happen, and it can be quite dramatic from the outside, as if they were faking it. But the sobs and the lump in Taehyung's throat were very real.

"Jimin?" He called,he could hear Jimin and another voice on the other end of the phone, but he wasn't paying attention, he couldn't, instead his eyes fixed on the line of the sun on the wall, approaching him and the faint neighbor. "Don't leave me alone..."

"Just go, your friend needs you."   Tae looked around, searching for a place to hide, finding nothing but the old man's rocking chair, it wouldn't do much to cover him from the sun, but was his only option. He crawled across the floor to the chair, knocking it over with a loud sound of wood hitting wood, and laid curled up like a ball behind it.

"Jiminie?" Tae voice sounded petrified, he really was. After decades not stepping out  the house, the very first time was at minimum trumatic. "Yeah? I'm here."

"Can we stay on the call till you get here?"

Taehyung was terrified. They both were. If he was going to die he didn't want to be alone. He was feeling so pathetic.

"Of course, my soulmate." Jimin said, as soft as he could. "I'll be there in no time tho, so it'll be a short call. Don't worry."

"Please, drive safe." Tae whispered.

Jimin laughed, not a really fun laugh.

"I always drive safe, Taehyung, safety first."

"Liar." Tae pouted.

"Well, how can I save you if I don't pierce some red lights on this beautiful not so busy morning?" Jimin questioned, trying to bring some humor to the conversation.

Taehyung sighed, feeling the heat of the sunlight approaching him.

"You won't be able to save me if you get in a crash... How much time?"

"One minute." Jimin was tense.

"Ok."

Coming from the end of the street, around the corner, the ambulance with the siren on approached and stopped in front of the house. Two people in paramedic uniforms ran towards the porch with their equipment, heading straight for the old man lying by the door. Tae hugged his legs against his chest to get smaller, hoping they wouldn't' see him hiding behind the chair and just do their saving people thing. "Oh my god! There's another person here!" The paramedic woman said in horror, probably shocked by Taehyung's very burned skin. "Sir are you ok? Can you hear me?"

Tae whined. What if they try to put him in the light?

Before the woman could even get close to him, another high-speed car came from the end of the street, screeching, and instead of stopping beside the curb, like the ambulance, the sports car driver climbed onto the sidewalk parking on the neighbor's grass. Jimin came out of the car covered by a big black umbrella, stride and the jaw tight. "Ignore our presence and continue your work helping the old man. You won't remember us as soon as we leave." Jimin ordered, his eyes shining colorful shades as the paramedics got hypnotized and obeyed him.

Half a second later he was beside Taehyung, replacing the chair, covering his friend with a long black coat.

"Taehyung... I'm here."

"Jiminie... You came."

"Of course." He helped Tae to sit up. "Can you get up?"

Tae nodded and with Jimin's help he got on his feet. In silence they both walked below the umbrella to the car, and then Jimin drove back to their underground garage a few meters ahead. If time seemed to run desperately fast before, now it has stopped completely, leaving everything in slow motion and numb. As the large door behind them slowly closed they were swallowed by the darkness of the garage, their silhouettes static and tense, the only sound being soft aching whines. Gradually Taehyung's senses returned, he became aware of his surroundings, the other cars parked in a row, the light from the corridor coming through the door's frosted glass, the scratching of Yeontan on the other side waiting for them, the smell of a mortal someone who he did not know impregnating the whole car they were in... especially in the passenger seat he was in. He hadn't died in ashes, burned by the sun in a minute or less, and he didn't know what to feel about it, whether it was relief or awe.

After a long time Jimin sighed and left the car, one second later he was beside the other to help him. None o f them talked anything as both of them got up to the second floor, or while the bathtub filled with water and music was placed in the background to fill the silence.

"Take care as you wash that, and drink..." Jimin whispered, seating beside the tube as Tae got in, holding out a pack of blood to his friend.

Tea hissed as the water touched this burned skin, aches staying on its surface.

"Thanks." He took the pack, his voice little. Another long silence. "Aren't you going to ask what I was doing outside?"

"It hasn't even crossed my mind yet, to be honest. I was too worried about you..." Jimin pouted, resting his head at the side of the bath, facing the ceiling. "Thinking about it tho, is pretty obvious... Just be careful next time you help someone, please."

"I'm not good at it like you." Tae took a sip slowly, he was waiting to be scolded by Jimin, for some reason. "Sorry to make you come earlier, this way... I didn't mean to screw your date..."

It made Jimin smile. "You are the most important and constant thing in my life Taehyungie." He took a deep, full of emotions, breath. "And you didn't screw anything, Y/N was super understanding even if she was just half awake, and I can just talk to her later and make things out. She knows you are everything to me."

Tae just humed.

"How does she know I'm everything to you?"

"I told her. Silly"

"Cool." Tae's lips formed a tin timid smile, that's a nice thing to hear after such a stressful experience after all. "Hum... Can you wash my back? I can't reach it..."

Jimin knelt beside the tube and took a wet towel, taking all care to not put too much strength on his hands as he rubs Tae's injured skin. Almost like magic - almost - the water made the blisters to dismantle, releasing more ash on the surface, yet it would take a lot longer to heal properly. The better was just feeding and sleeping now, at least que floor was full of empty packs, perhaps as much as a healthy vampire should have taken in two months.Taehyung hissed when a specific one stung more when it burst.

"I feel like hibernating." He yawned.

"You should. Take all the rest you need." Jimin agreed, reaching for the hand shower, to also wash Tae's hair.

Tae closed his eyes as the water ran down his face.

"Will you stay close... taking care of me?" He asked in a small voice.

"Of course. We are a clan, we take care of each other hibernating bodies." Jimin joked.

And Tae laughed. What a rare, beautiful sound.

"A clan of two." ________________________________________________________________

You were waking yourself up with strong coffee in the kitchen, in pajamas - not that you slept in them, right, but it was your usual home clothes -, considering if you should spend energie making pancakes or just go back to bed and procrastinate to do all the house chores and study, and just daydream about last night instead, soon it would be lunch anyways... Your roommate, on the contrary, was in full swing, walking around with the vacuum. All her energy was draining yours, all you wanted to do was lie down and stare out the window with silly smiles gracing your face.

You drank all of your coffee at once before opening the latest rental listings you favored - all in the same region you already live in, or reasonably close to college. None of them make your heart warm as your current home, but you can't do anything about it, you need an apartment you can rent.

"Baby Y/N, There's a package for you down stairs." Lydia entered the kitchen.

"For me? I didn't order anything." You crooked your head in confusion.

She disappeared for a second on the corridor, then got back.

"I'm pretty sure it is for you... I'll get it for you." She smiled.

"Thank you, Lydia." You waved at her, calling her by the name she chose to herself inspired by the Beetlejuice movie.

Not wanting to be a vegetable all day, you got on your feet to wash your mug and then start your day properly. You have laundry to do, tons of assignments to catch up, and a new home to find. Maybe you should search for tiny student studios, you could live in just a claustrophobic room and bathroom for sure...

"The delivery guy was super cute. He told me it's a surprise someone sent you, that's why you didn't know about it."

"What the heck..." You laughed, feeling your heart skipping a bit.

Lydia placed a brown paper bag on the counter, clipped to the top of the package was a handwritten note in a letter you don't know, probably from someone at the establishment who sent it. You picked it, and as you started to read, a smile grew on your lips.

I'm still sorry we didn't have breakfast together, to make up for it I sent this little treat, I hope you like it, Sweetheart. - Jimin.

"No way, that's so sweet." Your roommate commented over your shoulder, where she read the note too, taking advantage of being much taller than you. You opened the package to find a beautiful slice of cake, it looked delicious. Apparently Jimin found the ultimate path to your heart. The part of you that like to be spoiled was dancing in happiness.

"You didn't tell me how the date went yesterday, but it must have been good..." She took the restaurant brochure from the bottom of the bag. It was an expensive establishment. "We did a lot of fun things..." You said with a smile with double meaning. "I'll eat this in my room! Bye!"

Said that you took the cake and ran back to your room on your tiptoes.You put it on the desk and took a selfie smiling beside it.

You: Thanx! <3 <3 <3

You sent the selfie and waited, unpacking the plastic fork that came with it, ready to taste. The reply, however, came faster than you expected.

Jimin: Can I call you now?

Could your heart burst even more? Instead of replying you called him already.

"Hey, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" Jimin's sweet voice said.

"Like a baby. Thanks for the cake."

"Did you like it?" He was expectant.

"I don't know yet..." You were trying to open the plastic packaging with one hand, and failing miserably. You couldn't hold a self pity laugh to escape. "Just a sec."

You put your phone down and opened the cake packaging and taking a bite, a delicious bite. Still chewing you got the phone back at your ear.

"I like it." You decreed with your mouth full.

"Good." Jimin's voice dropped an octave, and it took him a while to continue. A very low music played in the background of the call. "You're not mad, are you? Because I ran out this morning..."

To be honest you were a little bitter, yes, at first when you woke up in the empty bed you didn't remember talking with Jimin earlier, the memory came to your mind just when you were brushing your theet minutes later, but because of the reason presented, and because Jimin didn't show signs of being a guy just interested in having sex with you and then disappearing right away, you pushed the feeling aside and gave the benefit of the doubt. He gave you cake!

"Not at all, Jimin." You smiled, so he could hear it in your tone. "How is your friend? What happened?"

"He got burnt... While trying to cook. Boiled oil." Jimin faltered. "He will be ok in two weeks."

You got a seat on your bed.

"Oh. It was bad then." You never had worse burns than sunburn for not using sunscreen, the kind that peel off for days afterwards, so you couldn't even imagine. "Tell him I wish him to get well soon."

"I'll tell him. He is a baby when he's not well. I already took two week out of work so I can take care of him properly."

"Two weeks?" You tried not to pout. You wouldn't see him at work for two weeks, if you would see him at all.

"Or until he tells me he needs me." Jimin didn't notice your swing of humor. "So I was wondering, since I won't be seeing you at work... What do you think about me picking you up at the end of your shift to take you home? So we see each other as usual and you get home safely, and faster too."

You were not expecting this. "Jimin, you don't need to... No need for you to wake up late at night because of me..."

"I've traded the day for the night for centuries now, sweetheart." He laughed "I won't be sleeping at this time, it won't cost me anything to pick you up. On the other hand, I'll be able to see you."

If before you were a little bitter, now you were just sweet.

"We can also hang out another time... If you're free." You suggested. "Is that proposal to meet your dog still standing?"

"Of course, sweetheart. We can appoint that."

"Nice..." You look around, searching for something to keep the conversation up. You were not fast enough..

"I'll turn off. Ok?" Jimin said.

"Sure. I have tons of clothes to fold..." You let a self mockery laugh out. "Till soon."

"Bye bye."

He was gone. And you were alone with your expectations and a piece of cake. Still, your whole mind was full of Jimin to think of, so you fought your will to spend the day in bed after a long and hectic week, and a long and fun night, and got up to do your chores, putting on the headset and playing on the list of lively songs to tidy up the house. Is a super fun playlist you have, would it be nice to send it to Jimin? Maybe you should make a playlist for him... Yeah it would be nice. ________________________________________________________________

Jimin turned off the phone and looked at Taehyung's sleeping face. After the bath, he made his friend drink some more packs before putting him to bed, and only after he promised once again not to leave Taehyung alone, that he finally closed his eyes and let the deep sleep take him. Hibernation is to make the vampire stronger, so that they can heal from wounds or even emotional trauma, to rest fully as almost no other creature on earth can... But it is also the most vulnerable moment for them too, so great clans have great dungeons very well kept. Now, these two young vampires only have each other.

Tae's skin was full of round spots the color of recent burns, a pale pink, not pretty, even if the boy himself is the most beautiful creature. His eyebrows were still tense, as if he's still afraid. "I'll be here when you wake up, silly." Jimin massaged the center of his forehead lightly, trying to make him relax, and brushing his hair out of his face. "I have nowhere to go."

At the very beginning, Jimin was alone, since his first memory. All by himself he lived as a wanderer. Until that man came and offered to take care of him, turning him into an immortal, in return all Jimin needed to do was call him a master and be loyal. There were others besides him, a girl very much like the master, a concun lady, a tall woman with long hair, a man with a serious face. The master called everyone a family, each had his role, as a joke, Jimin was the eldest son... Still, he was still alone. He never bonded with any of them, even if he tried.

One day he just walked away, all by himself, as a wanderer. The world was beautiful to see, to know about, to experience, even if all alone he would be happy living like this. He traveled and visited places he didn't even know existed, even after becoming a vampire the world was too small for him at first. Then he started to expand this world. Decades after his emancipation he met Taehyung on a train. The boy was a newly transformed vampire, lost, not knowing what to do or where to go, scared with all things that happened to him without warning. Unlike Jimin, who was a planned transformation, Taehyung had been an accident by a very inexperienced and foolish vampire, who didn't even see that his prey was not dead when he ran away. He was dealing with everything alone.

Jimin offered to take care of him, in return Taehyung should be his friend. They were the cure for each other's loneliness, and nothing in the world is more important than that.

So, for hours, lying next to his sleeping friend, Jimin stayed, and stayed. He would move from there only when the bloodthirsty sink in - or when Yeontan needed food etc. Never getting too far from Tae's room. ________________________________________________________________

Two days went by till Jimin felt his throat dry and stomach hurting and got down to the kitchen. The fridge was empty, literally, all packs ended after the incident. "I need to get more..." Jimin muttered to himself. "Dog food and snacks are also running out... And I could buy some... I'll make a list."

He pulled out a stool and sat down at the kitchen island, and opened his notes. Messages of yours popped up on the screen. You: hey. I wanted to make a dad joke.

You: about being tired

You: cuz im tired af

You: but im toooooo tired to think

You: [image.jpg]

Jimin opened the image of you with a sleepy face hidden by your hair and the hood of your hoodie, while you turns over a can of energy drink in a coffee cup. It was a cute fun photo. Since your date you both have been texting each other nonstop, as soon as you are awake and until you go to bed, your fun photos and not so fun jokes making him feel less lonely or bored or sad or weird. Jimin: I don't think this mixture is very healthy.

You: probably. but i didnt sleep.

You: tday is my shif!!!

You: i need to stay up :(

You: [image.jpg]

A photo of you in dramatic despair.

Jimin: I'll pick you up. Ok?

He put the phone down and stretched. Jimin is used to interacting with people every day, and having Taehyung when he gets home, and the last few days without that was enough for him to feel the change and be uncomfortable with it. He is a very friendly individual who needs other's presence, anything he has to do at home is too boring when there's no one to appreciate it. He likes to dress up stylishly to just go out to walk, just to feel handsome and gorgeous. Now he was bored. Still the idea of going out, letting Taehyung alone and unprotected, even for five minutes, was eating him inside.

You: r u sure?

You: you don't need

You: i said dat already.

Jimin sighed.

Jimin: Yes. I'm sure.

Jimin: I want to see you.

And he needed to get blood too. All he wanted you to say was something to motivate him to get out of house, or else he would be in this deadlock, not knowing what to do.

You: i want to see you too

That will do. Jimin's smile got wider.

Jimin: Then there's no reason to not give you a ride today. See you later, sweetheart.

He left the conversation with you and went to another whose contact was without a name or photo to identify. Jimin: I'm going to pick up my orders today. Please get everything ready.

As usual no answer. Jimin got back at writing down his “grocery” list, consisting of things for dogs, personal hygiene and cleaning products. ________________________________________________________________

Jimin finished dressing and looked in the mirror, beautiful as usual, but not feeling as good as always. He checked all the windows and doors in the house, to make sure they were tightly closed, emphasizing those in Tae's room. He checked if there was water and food for the doggie, and replaced the pee mat with a new one. Everything was in order, but he still felt anxious when he kissed his sleeping friend's forehead before leaving the house. "I'll be back soon... I'll just pick us some food." He whispered, feeling bad for half lying to Taehyung, even if he was unconscious, and feeling weird  about the idea of admitting he was leaving to also see you.

He left, letting the room's door open so Yeontan could enter freely, and went to the garage. He still hadn't taken the time to clean up the ashes from the burnt skin that was left in the seats of the car he was using, so he passed by it, choosing another one, a model not so sporty, but equally expensive.

The streets were silent and empty, as the clock showed it was three in the morning. The only real movement he saw was of bars and clubs, as he crossed the center of the city. One or another homeless man lying under a marquee, with his old blanket and cardboard protection. In other circumstances he would stop and interact. He tried to focus only on the music playing on his phone, his favorite among those on the playlist you sent him.

Jimin finally arrived at his destination, parking in a vacant spot in a practically empty parking lot, in front of a private hospital. He wore a shoulder bag from the back seat of the car, and bypassing the front door of the emergency area, he entered through an exclusive entrance for employees. No one would see him or notice his presence. Having done this hundreds of times and knowing the way by his hand, Jimin guided himself through corridors all the same and antiseptic until he reached a pair of doors with a "Blood Bank" sign on them. "Good night. I have an appointment." He politely said to the nurse at the front desk. "Is Seokjin here?"

"Good night. Yeah, is his shift today." She held out a key to him, sleepily looking up. She was a human, but she knew what he was and why he was there for.

"Thanks." He went through the corridor behind her, passed by the lab and the blood donation collection room, and called the elevator at the end. The only option to go was the underground. Six seconds and he was in a very clean room with a too white illumination. There was no one to be seen beside metallic cabinets and refrigerators, and also an empty metal table.

Jimin waited.

From a heavy metallic door came a man. A really handsome and gracious vampire in resident doctor uniform. As he saw Jimin an enormous charming smile spread on his face.

"Oh, you are early. I was  finishing to separate your order." He sang.

"Hi, Jin. Anything special today?" Jimin put his bag on the table, and his hands on his pockets.

Jin clearly noticed his bad mood and tension.

"Not really, there's a lot of O+ and some A+. We haven't had many different donations this past week."  Jin cruzou os braços. "But as usual I kept the ones with the most delicious smell for you, the very healthy ones. As you and Taehyung are picky eaters."

"That's why I only negotiate with you."

Jin smirked and left the room with the bag, back through the same door. He used to help young vampires, teaching them how to hunt properly, as the centuries passed he started his little business of blood selling, good origin, discreet and without victims. Despite working directly with customers at the local point, his scheme is huge, practically a monopoly.

Jimin looked at his fancy wristwatch, you would be out of your shift in a little bit more of half an hour, and he should stop by the grocery store in the way.

Jin came back with the bag obviously full now.

"Everything is sealed and refrigerated but put in the fridge as soon as possible." He said as always. "And send my kisses to Tae, he doesn't respond to my messages for days now. Sometimes I have time to play with him."

Jimin considered telling Jin about Tae's condition, but opted for not doing it. This issue was something for the two of them to deal, and only them.

"I'll tell him. He loves playing with you on call."

Jin noticed Jimin's hesitation.

"I know. Bye." He didn't comment anything about tho.

"Bye, Jin. ________________________________________________________________

You like your job, you really do. Is something you feel needed as you do it, powerfull, helpful. Is something you believe in. But now, after a whole day deprived of sleep, full of stress on college, not finding somewhere to live next month, and mostly, after the last call - a situation you want to forget - you are destroyed, Crying pathetically in the bathroom was the most coherent thing you could do. You just hoped the mental breakdown would come in a place other than the office bathroom, and preferably it would be at home, where you could cry yourself to sleep in your flower pajamas, hugging your stuffed dolphin.

You stopped to wash your face and tried to breathe calmly. It wasn't the end of the world, you can handle this. Your supervisor already released you a few minutes earlier - because you were no longer in a position to work - so all you had to do was gather your stuff and wait for Jimin to pick you up.

As usual, your heart accelerated just thinking about seeing him again, especially now that you are a thing, this feeling compared to anxiety and stress is just divine. You: i'll wait at the lobby.

You: was released earlier today

You threw some notebooks and pens into your backpack and locked your personal locker before checking your belongings again - be careful is never too much - and went down the hall to the stairs. Jimin: No need to wait. I'm already here.

You almost jumped the last stair steps to the ground floor, passed by the concierge's empty space behind the counter, and before running out, checked through the glassy door if you could see Jimin or his car. At first you didn't find him, and was about to text him again, but then he lowered the window glass and you can see him in another car, different from the other night. You gaped at him - you're a very impressionable countryside girl - and got into the passenger seat.

"Good night, handsome." You said, putting your heavy backpack on the floor between your feet.

"Good night, sweetheart." He lost no time and reached to peck you in the lips, slightly holding you chin with his fingertips. The butterflies in your stomach were crazy. He studied your face closely. "You look dejected, did something happen?"

His care made you smile.

"Stressful day, lot of little things. It got hard on me today, but just it." You shrugged, an amused tone in your tired voice.

"Want to talk about it?" He cupped your face with both hands. You did the same to him.

"Honestly I want to sleep." You giggled. "What about you? You don't look the best either."

He sighed. Your care made him happy too.

"Just feeling lonely and stressed too." He licked his lips, thinking what he could or could not say. "I don't like to be trapped at home. I need to take care of Tae, but he is...  not well to make me company, so I'll be lonely till he is ok."

You looked confused but tried to understand, choosing not to ask any more questions. Jimin didn't quite explain what happened to his friend, but it seemed like something serious, and if he didn't want to give you details, you wouldn't insist. "That's sad. I hope he is ok soon." You timidly pecked him, hoping this would make him feel better.

It worked. With a grin Jimin pulled away and started the engine.

"There is something I can do?" You asked, still wanting just to be sweet to him.

Jimin made thinking pout, and you wanted to take a picture of it, not fast enough.

"Spending time with me would be awesome." He answered, making you hum. Your routine is so busy and hectic that having time to see your friends is always a miracle, because you either have work and college stuff or you just want to sleep. You started to count on your fingers what your next break is so you can hang out with him. He continued, however, already having his own idea. "Why don't you come to my place to sleep with me?"

Your chin dropped, but it wasn't what you first thought.

"You want to sleep and I want company. If we cuddle it will be the best combination of our necessities being solved." He proudly smiled.

A soft smile fell into your face as you melted. Life is too short to deny cuddles with the guy you like on what you’ll now call your second date.

"Sure."

"Wait, really?" He looked at you with round happy eyes.

"Yeah. Of course. Just borrow me a pijama or something."

To get out of the way of your place he turned the wheel abruptly to enter a return that he was going to miss one second later, crossing all the lanes of the empty avenue. For a second you got startled but then you were giggling at how excited he was at the idea of taking you home. Well, you were excited to take him home too, nothing more fair. As you moved away from the city center, to more noble areas, full of beautiful houses and buildings, you started to expect that any one of them would be JImin's house, but he just kept driving, until you were no longer exactly in the city, and some mansions started to appear in the landscape. Looking at these huge, clearly expensive homes, you wondered how many bathrooms each has. Jimin, on the other hand, was considering what to do to feed you and make you comfortable, slightly freaking out because there's nothing to eat either in the fridge or in the cupboards other than a box of cereal he bought to win a collectible gift. Did he need to do something to make you feel more comfortable? He never received visits at home... "I need to tell my roommate and my mom that I'm not spending the night at home..." You murmured to yourself.

"Your mom too?" Jimin frowned. "Doesn't she live far away or something?"

You smirked looking at your phone.

"Our city is four hours from here, but I always ley her know where I am. So she is not worried. Besides, we talk all the time anyway..." "Oh." He thought about it. "You two are good friends."

You nodded.

"In the way of moms and daughters." You noticed the car was slowing down.

"Can I send her a photo of yours? Just so she knows your face?"

"Women have to be careful, right?" He commented, thinking that it is useful to know the face of the man that your daughter is seeing if something bad happens. He read a lot of things about it on twitter, and being a vampire himself he knows how bad things can happen too.

"Yep." You made a face. "But I want her to see how hot you are. She asked for a picture before but I didn't have a good one."

Jimin was between blushing and smirking. But vampires can't blush because the blood doesn't circulate, so you didn't see that reaction, just the burning look he gave you from head to toe. The butterflies in your stomach exploded and died. Before you could take the picture you noticed that you were now parking at a garage, and your chin dropped  at the sigh of six more cars - seven in total, counting the one you guys were inside. The garage itself was bigger than the apartment you currently live in. Just the idea of so much money intimidates you a little.

"Take a selfie, then." Jimin passed an arm around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.

"Ok." You did as said, the flash illuminating the inside of the car. "You are also photogenic."

"And you are beautiful." He looked at the photo with a cute smile. "Send it to me too. Come."

He left the car and you followed him closely behind, he carrying your backpack for you. He took off his shoes to get in, and so did you, wearing the pair of cloth slippers he offered you. You grabbed the sleeve of the black blouse he was wearing, despite the low light available looking at the whole house over his shoulder, the hallway, the living room, the stairs, everything huge and spacious, and you noticed too, with a very masculine yet artistic decoration. Definitely for you, only two people living in this whole space is strange. In your family you are in six occupying a much smaller house. Whas that a grand piano?

"It's a nice place." You thought you should say something. "Cool design."

"Tae is responsible for that. He's a very visual person."

"I see."

He took you to the second floor, straight to his room. He dropped your thing on an armchair and looked around, expectantly. It was cute, there were some plants and drawing like you sometimes see him doing at work, an ukulele on the wall... It was as you could imagine his room would be.

"I don't have a clue of how to make you feel comfortable... What should I do?" He was honest.

You smiled sweetly and took his hand on yours, and he knew if he had a beating heart it would have stumbled at the sigh.

"I'm ok. Comfy clothes to change would be nice tho."

He kissed your forehead with a grin.

"I can manage that." And he measured you from head to toe again, now really to get a sense of the size of the clothes he needed to get you. And then left through the pair of the closet's doors.

As you waited you kept looking around and took a seat on the king sized bed, you were tired after all, feeling your eyes heavy and feet hurting.

"Jimin where is the bathroom?" You barely articulated the words.

"What?" Jimin came back with some clothing in hand.

"Bathroom..."

He gave you a fondly look and deposited his clothes - a t-shirt slightly bigger than you and a soft fabric shorts that seemed to fit you - on your lap.

"Next door on the left, near the stairs to the attic." "Thanks." You picked the clothes and your toiletry necessaire and crawled out into the hall.

On the way there was only one door on the right side of the hall, which you hadn't noticed the first time you passed it. A door ajar with an ambar lamp light coming from inside. Without thinking too much you stopped to look and saw in a bed who you imagined to be the friend, Taehyung, sleeping in the center of another big bed. He looked like those illustrations of Snow White in the crystal coffin, beautiful, flawless, but pale as a corpse, the face emotionless. He looked so unreal, felt like if you touched him he would vanish away like a dream. You don't know how long you were looking at him, a few meters away, but you only managed to look away when your heartbeat became too loud in your ears. And only then did you realize that you had walked a few steps towards him. You hurried to the toilet and closed the door behind you as if something was chasing you. Looking in the mirror, you couldn't name what this feeling was. More than quickly and still shaking you changed, washed your face and brushed your teeth, and to go back to Jimin's room you were with his head down. He was already in bed waiting for you in a pair of silk pajamas, and frowned when you walked in. "Is something wrong?"

"Nope." You denied it too quickly, embarrassed to say something like 'I saw your sleeping friend in the other room and for some reason it made me nervous'. Then you smiled shyly and climbed into the bed. "Excuse me."

Jimin interpreted your fast heartbeat as shyness and pulled you close as soon he could reach you. You snuggled into him too, and your eyes felt heavy once again, the smell of him calming and slowing you down. Before you finished settling into a comfortable position you were asleep. ______________________________________________________________

Then you had your cute cheesy morning with Jimin, as you wanted. He was with his eyes open when before you, holding you tight as he scowled through his phone behind your head. You looked up and the first thing you thought about was how unfair life is. In addition to the slightly messy hair, Jimin was beautiful as always, without the sleepy face or puffy eyes of someone who just woke up, it gave you a mixture of emotions of ingenuity and admiration. You sure looked like a withered dumpling.

"Goomorning."  You murmured against him. "What are you doing?"

"We have no food, neither me or Tae cook, so I'm ordering you breakfast. Did you sleep well?" He kissed your nose, as he added croassaints to his order - he couldn't let you enter the kitchen and see all the literally empty cabinets, the only exception being a very suspicious bag, full of blood bags, inside the fridge, that he put there yesterday without you noticing, using his superhuman speed.

"Babier than yesterday." You reached for your cell phone too. "Shit, I have a seminar about neuro-physiology in fifty minutes... Where's a bus stop nearby?"

Jimin looked at you confused, for not understanding the reason for your question right away and then for having no idea what to answer. He doesn't take a lot of buses to know where they pass. "Don't worry about it, I can call you a car. And so it's time for you to eat without haste." As much as you enjoy being pampered and cared for, you are the type of person who feels guilty when others do it in excess, especially when they spend money on you. And you're starting to feel that way with Jimin. On the one hand you want to accept everything he may have to offer since technically you have no reason to deny it, but on the other hand your paranoid mind can think of several uncomfortable reasons. Your insecurities also arise to say that at some point a handsome, rich guy with two degrees like Jimin will eventually be bored with you, a poor, broken, screwed to finish your first graduation, so why not enjoy it while it lasts? Damn, that also makes you very guilty... That's why you only have poor and fucked up friends like you. Jimin raised his eyebrows at you, and then you realized that you hadn't answered anything yet, and just debated the subject a lot inside your own head. "Ah... Ok. Thanks." You stuttered. Your brain just wasn't about to form full phrases.

He holds you tighter.

"Don't be shy. You are keeping me company, the minimum is to guarantee your transport." He took your face in one hand and kissed you slowly, lazily, and you returned it with a sigh. With his lips still on yours, he whispered in a hoarse voice that made you shiver. "And if I don't treat you well, you won't be back... And I want you to..."

You were about to answer the flirt, but a sharp bark interrupted you.

"Puppy!" You sang, rolling to the edge of the bed to see a little dog with pretty expressive eyebrows barking and jumping beside it.  By the power of all the cute things in the world you spoke in baby voice. "Own... cute. Hi hi, buddie." "Come here, Tannie." Jimin whistled.

The puppy got rid of your  anxious for pets hands and ran to the other side of the bed, and appeared a second later, jumping onto the bed and over Jimin. You rolled back, also leaning on Jimin to look the other way. "Do you have a ladder for him to climb on the bed?" Jimin smiled with your enthusiasm about it. "The whole house is adapted to be accessible to his little tiny legs." He said. You put your hands on your chest. "Oh, no. My heart." Jimin sat up to peck you again before getting up, stretching slightly. "He wants to eat, otherwise he wouldn't be here. Just a sec." He picked up the dog and left.

You pouted for not playing anymore, but you understand, you were hungry too, and you had to get up and get ready soon to go to college, or else you would get late. You jumped out of bed, got your things and barefoot even ran to the bathroom. The door to the other room was now closed, yet you felt a shadow of the feeling of the night before and went by it as quickly as possible, without looking in the direction. After that, you took a quick shower, ended up borrowing a t-shirt from JImin, because to wear the same shirt from the previous day was out of the question, you had a great brunch from a expensive bakery that you had never heard of, played a little - too little - more with Yeontan, and went to college by car, something totally new to you. The rest of the day you were chased by the desire to see Jimin again, to go back to his house and stay there, in the bubble of good things he gives you, by the feeling that you somehow don't deserve it, and by the almost scary feeling  that you felt when you saw a complete stranger in his sleep.

Notes: I said I would update it before 2021! HAHAHA Sorry it took a whole life! IF YOU WANT TO BE ADD TO THE TAG LIST LET ME KNOW. FEEDBAKC IS GOOD TOO. ____________________________________________________________

Tag list: @ireallylikeyourwriting @angrygardenerr​ @depressed-dude20 @milktaetae95 @tangledsparkles​  @wlalsrkfla​ @minikolima​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @midiplier

[watchtower-feed]

Until Death (Part 5)

SSA ✧ Red Hood ✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧

    Jason frowns at the sound of his alias escaping your lips but don’t see it. You turn around and swallow a sob before you walked away.

    “Damn, Jason! How heartless!” Roy has been giving Jason a hard time for the past half hour in Roy’s apartment since Jason told him what happened between the two of you. “The girl goes out of her way to search for you, gets chased by bad guys, falls off a roof, and then you just tell her you never wanted to meet her?”

    “What?” Jason snaps back, “Should I have lied? Tell her I’ve been dreaming about the day when we’d meet?”

    Roy rolls his eyes to the side, a small smirk playing on his lips,  “Weeell…” Jason stares at him as he waits. “Before you, you know,” Roy makes a gesture of cutting his throat with his thumb, making Jason glare at him, “you did brag a lot about the day you’d meet your soulmate you know. When you were still a Titan--”

    Jason physically shuts Roy up by covering his mouth with both of his hands. He glares at him with wide eyes and raised brows but Roy can see the blush covering his cheeks, “That was years ago.”

    Roy removes his friend’s hands from his face, “That was three years ago and that was you. At least one type of Jason.”

    Jason turns away from him, “I’m different now.”

    Roy doesn’t believe him one bit. Three years is a good time to change a person but not enough to completely forget who they were. “And you’re scared she won’t like you?” Roy stares at Jason who stubbornly makes a show of lying down on the floor and staring at the ceiling instead of him. “How are you going to know if you never try~” Roy lets his sing-song voice echo in the room but Jason doesn’t budge.

    Then Roy stops abruptly and Jason watches him close his eyes. He waits for a while before Roy opens his eyes again.

    “Your soulmate?” Jason asks.

    “Yeah, she’s done with class. Sorry, bro, duty calls.” Roy kicks himself off his bed and packs his last-minute-superhero-bag-disguised-as-an-ordinary-gym-bag. “She took military science this semester and I’m helping her write a paper on reconnaissance.”

    Jason frowns, “Don’t tell me. You’re letting her experience it first hand?”

    Roy chuckles, “You’re skeptical. I see that but once you meet her. Oh, boy. You’re going to wish you have her for backup.”

    Jason watches as one of his closest friends hum while he packs away more gadgets for his trip. “How do you do it, Roy? Having somebody else’s thoughts in your head?”

    Roy pauses at the sudden seriousness of Jason’s voice, more serious than usual. “It’s not all bad. You know when you’re thinking to yourself, trying to find answers to life’s dilemmas?” he asks and waits for Jason to respond but he doesn’t so Roy scoffs. “And then suddenly someone actually answers you. It’s like God answering your prayers or something. It feels good talking to somebody.”

    “Sounds just like having comms on a mission.”

    “Exactly. And life’s a mission, Jay.” Roy teases as he opens his door and steps out. He leans in gives Jason a goodbye kiss in the air. “And you better get on with yours.”

    Roy shuts the door to his own apartment and leaves Jason lying on his floor feeling miserable and antsy.

    Later that same evening, it doesn’t take long for Jason to track you down. No, not all because much to his displeasure, you are still looking for answers regarding his death. Now that you know he’s the Red Hood, it has lead you to even deeper shit than you can imagine.

    “Lookie here, boss. One just came straight to our lap.” One of Black Mask’s goons drops you on the floor like a garbage bag and you land on your wrists tied behind your back.

    You bite against the cloth wrapped along your jaw and you glare hard at the crime lord standing tall and menacing in his diamond-clad black suit. He squats down and stares at you with his face only a few inches away. You can smell the tobacco and scotch in his breath mixed with the stench of the black paint of his mask.

    “Gutsy,” he turns back to one of his goons, “Definitely has enough spunk to be a soulmate of one of those do-gooders.” Black Mask looks you over from head to toe making you tense under his gaze. “What does she have?”

    One of his men steps up and harshly grabs your wrists to show his boss the faded timer on your hand.

    He frowns, “Timer link, huh. Luthor would have paid big money for you if your timer hadn’t run out.” He turns his eyes away from your wrist and looks back at you in the eye, “Seems you’ve met your soulmate then.”

    “She was walking around asking people about the Red Hood.”

    Black Mask’s eyes widen and fill in the sockets of his mask. He stands up quickly and smacks the man who spoke. “You idiots!” he bellows at them. “Get her out of here!”

    The man holding you quickly let you go and backs away. You quickly stare in shock as you and the rest of the men in the warehouse watch the Black Mask trudge along the ends of the table spouting rushed instructions to his men. “Do you all want to die tonight?”

    Then one loud bang of metal hitting the cement floor steals everyone’s attention. You turn your head away from the Black Mask and find the Red Hood with his knees bent, head down, and an AK-47 in his hands.

    “Yes,” he says as he straightens his posture and rests the assault rifle on his shoulder, “It does seem like you want to die tonight.”

    The men are inching away from the Red Hood and Black Masks grits his teeth as he tries to keep still against the table. “Here for your girl, Red?” Black Masks snarls at him. “It doesn’t look like you’re here to save anyone with that gun you’re carrying.”

    You stare at Jason. Black Mask has a point. The rifle isn’t the best gun for a rescue mission so he must be here more for an assault. Less for you. Or not at all.

    The Red Hood laughs with his chest, making the Black Mask flinch. “Oh,” he says as he straightens up and leans forward, “I’m just the appetizer.”

    You feel the vibration of the whole warehouse before you heard the crash of the ceiling on the other side of the warehouse. You cower until all of the debris has fallen and then you quickly take a look and find Superman floating down from the gaping hole. Much faster, you see a familiar broad-shouldered silhouette glide in and land right onto Black Mask’s face.

    You’re too busy watching the Justice League round up Black Mask and his men that you instantly flinch at the feel of someone touching your wrist. It’s the Red Hood. He raises his hands, “Are you hurt?”

    You stare for a moment before you look down, “I-- I think one of my wrists is broken.” You hear him click his tongue and hear a switchblade slice through the ropes around your arm. Gently, he helps you take them off. You rub your wrists and confirm that one of them is definitely broken.

    “Does she need medical attention?” the sudden presence of Wonder Woman startles you.

    “Not critical, but her wrist is broken.”

    “I-I’m fine,” you utter in sudden embarrassment. It’s not a feeling you’re used to, being fussed over. Especially by a whole league of heroes.

    Batman approaches the three of you and he immediately kneels in front of you. He holds out his hand and tentatively you offer up your broken wrist. He takes out a makeshift wood splinter and lays it under your palm.

    “I can do it,” both you and Batman quickly turn to the Red Hood. He’s already squatting down and holding out his hand. Batman hands you over and gives him a roll of medical tape. You watch as the Red Hood slowly aligns the wood along your forearm. He takes one end of the tape and presses your fingers down on it with his palm.

    “I saw the look you gave me back there,” his voice suddenly jolts you and he has to align the wood again before he can start wrapping. When he spoke again, he sounded like he was pouting, “You didn’t actually think I would put you in harm’s way, right? That rifle was just in case I had to break my way through some of his guys but mostly it was just for show.”

    You stare up at his mask and wonder what face he’s making underneath. You look back down and watch in awe at how gentle he’s treating your arm. “I’m sorry,” you blurt out, making Jason stop.

    After a moment he starts again, “What the hell do you have to be sorry for?”

    You try to fake a laugh, “For putting myself in danger and then having to have you and the League get involved.”

    “First of all, are you dense?” He uses his head to point towards the League escorting Black Mask and his men out of the warehouse and towards the incoming police lights. “This is exactly what heroes are supposed to do. I was looking for you and Batman told me Black Masks’ men had you. So he and the rest of the League got involved.”

    You suddenly go quiet and sharply turn back to the Red Hood, making him flinch. You wanted to ask why he was looking for you but you’re thinking too much and all you got out was one word. “Why?”

    The Red Hood sighs, bored as if he’s just de-briefing on a mission, “Someone’s been targeting superhero soulmates, kidnapping them, and then having their links stolen or broken. It’s what happened to Superman and his soulmate.”

    Your fingers tense as he finishes up wrapping up your wrists. Would he want that? You wonder if Jason would have been happy if they had been successful. Your voice comes out as a whisper, “You said you never wanted to meet me. Do you wish they could have taken away our links before we met?”

    You can tell he’s watching you under his mask.

    “I doubt they could have. Not even death kept us apart.”

    Quickly, he stands up and offers a hand, “Can you stand?”

    You were completely phased by the sudden change of topic and his non-answer. You resorted to stubbornly staring at him and remaining rooted on the warehouse floor. The Red Hood groans under his mask and then squats back down, with his back facing you.

    “I’ll take you home and then I’ll give you my answer, deal?”

    Again that surprises you. He pretty much answered you, right? If he didn’t want to meet you he would have just said no right away like he did weeks ago. Slowly you climb onto his back. As soon as you secure your arms around his neck and his arms wrap around your thighs to hold you up, he says, “I’ve wanted to meet you for as long as I can remember, Y/N.”

✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧

[buckevantommy]

'(Un)Happiest Season' review

Simply put, it wasn't enjoyable as a romance or a comedy or a Christmas flick. It failed on many fronts, but this reviewer from Salon.com puts the thing into words for Happiest Season's main failings: 

What's bad: There were two main criticisms of "Happiest Season." The first being: Can't LGBTQ audiences have a holiday movie where the main plot isn't about mining the anxiety and trauma associated with coming out, being closeted and casual homophobia? Then there's the fact that Harper really is just kind of the worst. After pushing Abby back in the closet, Harper ditches her in a town where she doesn't know anyone to go drink with her ex-boyfriend until two in the morning, then proceeds to call Abby "suffocating" when called on it. It's a pattern of s**ty behavior that is pervasive and present throughout the movie, so her redemption arc doesn't feel super genuine. 

Why can't we have main queer characters in Christmas movies without their presence being all about their queerness? We want fluffy festiveness, dammit! They could've made Harper less selfish and more attentive while still playing into the *I'm not out yet Because Reasons so we need to hide our gay relationship* trope, but they didn't. Who knows why, but what a waste. 🎄👩‍❤️‍👩☃️

^ Look at that trailer and tell me you don't expect Misunderstandings with fun and tropey antics + Domestic Christmas Shenanigans + Comfort for Hurt! You will be sorely disappointed. 😞 

NOTE: The flick does have a few good moments. And it's probably worth the watch just to see what's missing/mishandled when it comes to queer characters and queer romances in mainstream movies. 

But it's not really fun or funny or heart-warming - where are the snowball fights? Insightful conversations? Christmas elements like eggnog/spiced wine, candycanes, mistletoe? Where are the many colourful side characters and the hungover brunches? We get one scene of ice-skating for a few minutes and it's wasted on sibling rivalry bs rather than, say.. Abby and Harper skating together but not being aloud to touch—omg the tension!! 😍 

There's just not enough comfort for the hurt Abby (Kstew) goes through; the film wholly lacks those warm-n-fuzzy Christmas vibes; there's just way more wrong with it than is right with it - which sucks, because this had the potential to be such a great movie if only Harper was written as less ignorant/selfish and we'd gotten more enjoyable family interactions and more festive fun - like a celebration in town. Instead we get a few limited shots of the adorable town, a crappy bar, and an OTT fancy Christmas party for performative rich white folk on a career path for power and "perfection" (ie. wholesome family values). 

The story they went with was definitely better suited for a dramatic film, so in a romcom setting it really didn't work. Plus the side-characters were flat; we needed more depth from the supporting characters, more meaningful interactions. 

^ Look at those intro credits!! Look at all the domestic happy moments and tell me you don't want to see a movie filled with such fluffy festive goodness!! Well, if you don't want to see such moments, don't worry because you won't. I naturally thought we were going to get this kind of romantic-and-non-romantic happiness dispersed throughout the entire film, but no. Not a one. There's 5 minutes of Happy Couple at the start, and that's it 📸☹️ (unless you count a photo collage of the happy ending and year that follows stuffed into the end credits). 

BTW: That intro song is the most Christmasy song in the whole movie. The soundtrack features modern pop songs which 1) don't help set the festive vibe and 2) are really fucking annoying; the song choices are grating, not pleasant, not enjoyable, and they overpower the scenes with a whole lotta noise. I really wish we'd gotten more tunes like the one above. 🎶 

About the image below—Abby is actually miserable the entire time, getting worse by the day, barely a smile seen on her.. while Harper is the one schmoozing her family and contacts with teeth bared, so.. this image isn't what you'll get, just fyi:

(also: the only POC actors they had were the perfectionist-stone-faced-bitch's husband and his girlfriend - wife + hubby being secretly separated.) 

The things that the Salon reviewer liked are the same things I did (see below), but imho even those elements weren't enough to save this film from being: 

an infuriating 102 minute-comedy of errors buoyed by a healthy dose of gaslighting 

More cons of the flick are pointed out by denofgeek.com: 

Some of its issues come from the structure of the film, which shoehorns very real queer struggles into wacky rom-com tropes too fluffy to contain the stakes at hand. Meanwhile the choice to have one half of the lead couple be so aggressively and repeatedly cruel—while her high school ex Riley, played by the ever-perfect Aubrey Plaza was standing right there having all the chemistry in the world with the other romantic lead—was a fatal one.

It really was a dramatic plot idea crammed into a fluffy narrative. You can see the conflicting genres fighting to stay alive and they both die a slow, agonisingly dull death throughout the film. The whole *Abby being converted to loving Christmas by Harper inviting her to spend the holidays with her family* thing, only to have Harper force their relationship + Abby into the closet. Straight conversion much? I'm 100% sick of heteronormative bs in my queer Christmas films. 

For the most part, when you're not feeling for Abby's harsh treatment by her would-be fiance and everyone but Riley ignoring her completely, you will be bored af from the lack of festive cheer - not just twinkle lights and boisterous seasonal music, but those good ol' homey family Christmas vibes. With the Harper house + family members, everything's a performance, so that lack of sincerity and warmth makes for a depressing viewing experience: 

^ Jane (one of Harper's 2 sisters) is the only character allowed to be consistently genuine in the narrative (aside from John, but he's restricted mostly to phonecalls, and Riley - but even she's keeping Harper's secrets). Jane is the only character who is naturally vibrant and reminds us of some of the reasons we get excited about Christmas movies: to feel joy and to enjoy the company around us during the holiday season! 🎄☃️🥳 But rather than give us a fun day out with Jane + Abby, we get Abby + the second sister (i don't even remember her name, just BitchFace) which leads to more bad treatment of Abby - this time by two spoiled af no-smile rich kids. *le sigh* Jane carries the spark of honest joy for the entire Harper clan and that is TOO MUCH to expect of one character, let alone a side-character. 😪 

There are so many ways the story could've been tweaked to make more sense and be somewhat enjoyable, including: 

The orphan!Abby thing is just bad. Rather than give Abby a voice, chances to let her personality shine, almost everyone interacts with her to merely briefly express their condolences for her long-dead parents 🙄 

Abby is a pet-minder, ie. she's an animal lover, yet at no point do we see her interact with animals! Not a dog or cat or hamster, no reindeer at the petting zoo, nothing. 🐕🐈🦎🦜🐠

Riley + Abby getting together (even just a kiss) 👄 

Abby + Harper separating so Harper can get her shit together - and then we get several flashforward shots of them separately living their lives (Harper especially), and then meeting back up again - maybe the next holiday season, after some much-needed time apart 🏃‍♀️🤸‍♀️ 

side characters who engage with Abby in a sincere, meaningful way instead of ignoring her (again, we got Riley, but she was outside of the family dynamic) 😊 

MORE FESTIVE CHEER! where were all the staple Christmassy passtimes, the smile-inducing season-specific experiences??? 🎉 

More from denofgeek: 

Where the script gets into trouble is that it doesn’t distinguish between Harper being closeted and her poor treatment of Abby. The two are separate issues and treating them as one does no favors to Harper, nor others struggling with the closet. As Dan Levy’s beautiful monologue late in the movie alludes to, the closet is a safety mechanism—but it’s not a free pass to treat people like garbage. [...] 😟🏳️‍🌈

Even a brief conversation teasing out that being in the closet doesn’t justify how Harper acted, and that plenty of people in the closet don’t treat others like trash, would have been important. Instead once Harper is out (which the movie takes pains to make clear only happened because Harper’s sister Sloane outed her), and a gesture so small it could never credibly be called grand is made, all bad behavior is washed away. [...] 😤🙅‍♀️ 

The jarring underlying issue is that 'Happiest Season' attempts to apply the standard rom-com and made-for-TV-holiday-movie tropes to queer life. So Abby having to go back into the closet isn’t framed as a painful regression or being forced to deny an essential part of herself, but rather a fun twist, in the vein of “but the guy she insulted on the plane is the owner of the ornament factory she has to impress to win the Christmas contest!”🚪😒 

All of Harper’s behavior adds up to making her feel like something the audience wants Abby to be free of, not someone Abby should be fighting for. Once Riley tells Abby about Harper’s cruelty in high school, where Harper outed Riley and mocked her rather than standing up for her or finding an excuse that protected them both, it becomes incredibly difficult to root for the lead couple to get back together, or for Harper at all. 👏💃 

With this information, Harper’s other transgressions go from frustrating to part of a larger pattern. Sadly, it’s a pattern Harper repeats when her sister outs her and she throws Abby under the (lesbian) bus. 🤬 

FAVE THINGS: 

all interactions between John (Dan Levy) + Abby (he's witty, honest, and 100% the most entertaining element of the entire film; i wish we'd gotten more of him) 😆 

Riley (Aubrey Plaza, Harper's ex) + Abby's scenes together because CHEMISTRY, both between the characters and the actors 👩‍❤️‍👩

Notable between Abby + Riley scenes include 3 instances of Riley comforting Abby's hurt: outside at the fancy party (Abby feeling excluded/ignored/not worth anyone's time due to the way they treat her even though they don't know she's gay), at a gay bar in town (sandwiched by scenes where Abby's made to feel like crap by Harper), and at the fancy home Christmas party where Riley gets Abby something stronger to drink after hearing Abby was going to propose to Harper (but it's been a helluva shitty week and those plans are dead) 👭 

Every scene with Riley was blessed relief from the hurt and discomfort and boredom of the rest of the time with Harper's family. 🤩 

Sister Jane, for being a genuinely fun character 🤗 who was written starkly different to her family and treated somewhat like an outcast 

Aubrey + Kstew killin it in various pantsuits 👀 

In contrast, Riley connects Abby to queerness, bringing her to an LGBTQ bar to decompress and enjoy a Christmas-themed drag performance. It’s the most relaxed and comfortable Abby is on screen since the opening scenes, a chance to glimpse Abby’s authentic self before Harper summons her back to heterosexuality, and where she once again ignores and disappoints her. Riley actually talks to Abby at the various holiday parties whereas Harper keeps leaving her to please her family, especially her father. It’s not hard for the natural chemistry between Plaza and Stewart to take over

I wouldn't watch this film again. For a hopeful Christmasy love story I'd just watch all Abby + Riley's scenes: 

In closing, here's a batshit article title from observer.com that just makes you go, huh? 🧐:

‘Happiest Season’ Isn’t Happy, But That Doesn’t Make It a Bad Rom-Com

Um.. yes, yes it does. 

Rom-Coms are supposed to be fun, light-hearted stories about love even when the plot deals with lying - The Proposal, Sweet Home Alabama - so a movie that leaves you hurting more than comforted in sympathy with one of the main characters because the (apparent) love of their life is treating them like shit, then it doesn't deserve to be in the genre of Rom-Com. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨💞🎬

In summary, Abby and Harper got 5 minutes of happiness in the beginning, and an eventual happy ending after a super rocky middle. The journey was painful and unenjoyable, and it made their happy ending unbelievable and, for Harper, undeserved because of her behaviour through 90% of the story. 

In short: it was not, in fact, the happiest season. 😕👎

[justjessame]

Silence Chapter 8

The silence, so rare when Negan was present, blanketed the cabin. Only the flicker and crackle of the fire he’d started before I’d arrived broke it. I waited him out, letting him collect himself, his thoughts, and lose himself in his memories. He held me tight the entire time, and I wondered if he really remembered who I was, or that I was even alive and human. Or if I’d taken on a surreal tint of inanimate human shaped teddy bear?

Negan’s story, while so far removed from my own, caused the memory of the call alerting me that all was NOT right in my world so very long ago. My grandma asking when the last time I’d talked to my daddy, then more troubling asking for my permission to breach the privacy of our home, a privacy my dad had held so tightly guarded that I knew something terrible must have happened.

When the professional who’s been leading his patients away from the darkness threatening to swallow them whole for years and years finally gives in to his own darkness, what do those same patients take away from that? The ruckus, as my grandma muttered under her breath when I came home, would be horrendous. She worried more about the ripples, rumors, and rude comments that might come flying her way in the aftermath of my father finally giving in to the pull he’d felt to join my momma from the day she’d left her mortal shell giving me life. Me? I felt incredible guilt that he’d held on so tightly only for me. That he could have ended his suffering and been at peace so much sooner, or better still he could have talked to a version of himself and found a peace that kept him alive and pushed him into the light, with a promise of the reward he’d yearned for once he’d lived long and happily.

So lost in my own morose memories and the quiet that I’d once found comfort in, I didn’t notice dawn creeping up on us. The fire was dying, the day breaking cool and brisk, and I hadn’t slept a wink. From the groan that Negan released, I wondered if he’d managed any rest either.

“I want to go find her,” muffled, quiet still, his words fluttered my hair while his arms were still clutched around me like I’d disappear if he let go of me. “You touched my scar the first time you let me strip down full monty,” a hint of humor, but the pain from his burden was heavily coating it. “She’s where I got it.” He wasn’t making a hell of a lot of sense, but we were sleep deprived and full of painful nostalgia. “Will you come with me, Elara?” His face was pressed into the back of my head, the words pleading, and I sighed.

“Of course,” I had to agree, but I had to also wonder at what price was all this coming at? And at what point would I finally feel the cost was too high?

A tree on a slight hill is where Negan leads me, shovel in one hand, my fingers linked with his holding him tethered to the present in the other. He releases me only when he realizes he cannot dig without doing so, reluctant, eyes looking far more haunted than I care to consider he does and I step back, but he asks that I stay close to the tree.

“It’s safer,” he promises, but whether it’s a promise to me or himself, I can’t say.

Negan digs like a dog who forgot where he buried his bone, and he mutters about being told that she’d been left out here, where they’d discarded her like garbage. A man on a mission, fevered, but purposeful. Just when I think that perhaps, with the approach of one of the unlucky former freaks that he’d so charismatically joined, he’s admitted defeat he pulls something free from the soil.

A small part of me fears bones, or some other proof that the person who gave him his scar had gone further and truly destroyed Negan and everything he loved, another person named Lucille, but no. I couldn’t have been further from the truth. I would have made a comment or snorted, but while Negan was studying his ‘girl’ reverently, the groaning and snapping Whisperer was growing closer and before I could protect him, he reacted and Lucille took the brunt of the blow, even as she saved his life. Again.

We were back in the cabin, the fire crackling and bright, but I was sitting alone in the rocking chair while Negan cremated Lucille and said his final goodbyes.

As he had his moment, I had my journal on my lap and I wrote, since I had neglected it while I worked among the people who Negan wanted so badly to belong to. I’d lost track of the days, and that was far more annoying that I cared to think about. I tried to count back, the nights and days weren’t so similar that I should be able to make an educated guess.

I worked, and then my pen met paper, but instead of the normal stream of consciousness, I found myself asking more questions than I’d allowed before. Questions about people I hadn’t allowed myself to think about since the world seemed to collapse in on itself. Things I dared not think about, unless I wanted to feel the same crushing sadness that I’ve felt over the years, the same feeling that there wasn’t a fate or hope that made any of it worth it.

Why bother with communities and connections when at the end of the day, it all goes to shit and we’re all going to end up either truly dead or walking around trying to eat the ones who aren’t dead yet?

I didn’t notice when Negan finished his memorial service. I wasn’t really THERE when he came closer and his shadow fell over the chair. Too busy in my own thoughts and the urge to move, to pack up and GO again was growing in me like a gnawing need.

“Hey,” his voice, still so quiet didn’t register, not at first. He told me later that he’d said my name, called ‘hey’ more times than he cared to count, and finally had to touch my shoulder. “Elara, let’s head out.”

Moving sounded perfect, so I was up with my pack on and my bow and quiver ready before Negan could wrap his mind around my movements. He grabbed only the minimum, which should have warned me about our destination, but the nomad in me just wanted to go, damn the ending.

As we walked, Negan reached for my hand and I twitched, moving to grab a loose and low branch or pick a berry, dodging the contact. Movement, forward, and silence that’s what I needed now. And by some miracle he managed to give all three to me, at first. My sense of direction engaged soon enough to realize we were heading back.

“I’m not giving up, Elara,” he saw the shift in me, subtle or not. “Come back with me, we still have your list,” a teasing tone still laced with worry, but less pain.

The mention of my list caused a small flutter deep down inside of me, but then a flare of the night before and the community that banished him to that - with me along simply because of association. This is what people did, and have always done. It’s what my own grandmother expected when my dad committed suicide after all.

Negan stopped moving and so did I. Facing one another, not far from Alexandria, he was eyeing me like I was a scared animal. “What’s changed?”

“Why were you really banished?” Damn my curiosity, but there had to be more.

His eyes were locked on mine. “I killed Maggie’s husband while she was pregnant, in front of her.” I swallowed hard, waiting because there had to be more. “She - The sentence, when I was imprisoned, was that I’d be in my cell for the rest of my life. I’m not.”

“So she wants you dead.” He nodded. “Is that all?”

“It’s what I figure the real reason is, but -” he shook his head. “Lydia’s been treated like shit by these people, Elara. And I caught three assholes going after her and -” he sighed. “One died, so of course, I’m a murderer.”

“Just looking for a reason to get you out of sight out of mind?” Now that we were face to face, out of the darkness of the cabin, with the trees and sunshine around us, I wasn’t quite as flight focused. “And what am I in this mess?”

Negan took a step closer, just one and it was small. “Elara, just be beside me?” A plea, not a demand, but almost begging. “I have no one. Not a single person who is beside me, but you don’t look at me like -”

I moved closer to him and sighed. “Like you’re Negan? Just Negan?” I shook my head and let my cheek meet his chest as he opened his arms for me. “Don’t get us both killed? Please?”

Negan’s soft chuckle ruffled my hair as his arms wrapped around me. “No promises, Elara.”

“Great,” I muttered, leaning my head back so I could look up at him. “This is why I’m NOT a joiner.”

[avengerscompound]

By Arrangement

By Arrangement:  A Loki Fanfic

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  F!Loki x F!MoonElf!Reader

Word Count:  2224

Warnings:  Smut (F|F, public sex, vaginal fingering)

Square:  @ladiesofmarvelbingo E5, Surrender

Synopsis:  When the Queen of Alfheim decides she wants to arrange a marriage between either Thor or Loki and one of the Princes or Princesses of Alfheim, they are sent to Asgard to make the arrangement.  Loki is disgusted by the idea.  Unfortunately, she’s also very attracted to one of the chosen group.

A/N:  Moonelf’s are a race of Elf from Alfheim, one of the nine realms.  They have bioluminescent skin.  So there are references to that.  It doesn’t say what color that bioluminescent skin is.

This is one of those fics you start with no idea where it’s going.  It kind of feels like there’s more story.  I have no idea what that story is.  I may come back to it if people are reading it.  But I don’t know.

By Arrangement

Loki’s boots clicked on the marble floor as she strode down towards her chambers.  To say she was angry was putting it lightly.  She was furious.  Furious about how she had been pushed aside in favor of her brother, yet again.  This time for no good reason whatsoever.  They just wanted someone to greet the envoy from Alfheim at the Rainbow Bridge and lead them to the palace.

It made no sense that oaf should go rather than Loki.  Loki Silvertongue.  Goddess of stories.  She would be much better suited for this and instead she had been sent to her room for arguing like some wailing child.

She slammed her door behind her and went to her balcony.  She could see the precession coming down the Rainbow Bridge.  Thor in the lead on that obnoxious white stallion of his, followed by guards, followed by a carriage containing the royal envoy.  Followed by people on foot.  Followed by more guards.

They wound into the city below and then up to the palace gates.  Loki watched as the guards approached the carriage and helped those that were inside down the steps.  The different Elf races had joined together to make their own kingdom.  Each tribe had their own royal family and they formed a council that ruled over Alfheim that served under Queen Aelsa Featherwine.  First off the carriage was the Prince of the Spice Elves.  Short with a warm brown, almost cinnamon complexion and curly red hair.  He wore a tunic only a few shades darker than his skin.  After him, was the princess of the Ice Elves, with her blue skin and long blue hair.  Her clothes were white and blue and despite the heat, she seemed to be wearing several layers.  The Air Elf came next, then an Elf of the Vale, a Sea Elf, a Cat Elf, and a triple jointed Pleasure Elf.  Each Elf was so different from the next, from the tiny little, rainbow-colored Cat Elf’s that got their name from riding winged-cat, to the tall willowy Elves of the Vale, it was hard to see how they could even be categorized under the one heading.

Finally, you stepped off the carriage.  Loki wasn’t sure how she could still be surprised when he saw a Moon Elf.  She’d seen many through her life, but there was something about the way your skin glowed that always made her breath catch.  It was such an unusual phenomenon.  The bioluminescence of your skin had an iridescent quality.  It shimmered like an oil slick, but it burned from within.

You wore a dress that shimmered with an iridescent quite like your skin.  Green at the neckline, then gold, then red, blue and finally a deep purple in the fabric that pooled around your feet.  On your head, you wore a tiara adorned with opals that shimmered from the glow that emanated from you.

 Loki was so intoxicated by you that she failed to notice Queen Aelsa stepping out of the carriage behind you. Nor his parents hurrying up to meet her.

When the group moved inside, Loki huffed and returned to her bedroom.  She didn’t quite know why she was taking it so personally. She was used to being overlooked in favor of Thor and quite honestly if they’d asked her to be the one greeting she would have tried to get out of it.  She hated doing things like that.  She hated playing nice.

She should have been asked though.

She pushed it aside and summoned some attendants to assist her in the bath.  There would be a feast tonight, she should look like the queen she was destined to be.  Plus it might help her relax.

After soaking in the tub a little too long, she allowed her attendants to dress her.  Normally she did that herself.  Perhaps with a little help with her armor.  Tonight there would be no armor though.  Just gowns and she wasn’t used to wearing them.  Her tastes tended to fall along the lines of androgyny, leaning toward slightly more masculine.  In her fluidness, she tended to lean into male more regularly.  But she was she now, and that meant a gown if she was to attend a feast.

She made her way to the great hall and then had to loiter waiting for all the ceremonial garbage to happen before she could be seated.  Each member of royalty had to be announced properly, including her.

She had been relegated to a lesser table due to the number of visitors.  Normally that alone would have been enough to have her leave, but when she saw you already seated at her table she decided that it might be worth staying for the aesthetics alone.

“Lady Loki,” the Ice Elf said bowing her head a little.  “I am Princess Siora.  It is good to meet you.”

Loki nodded her head and the other Elves at the table made their introductions too.  She noticed as she reached you, you had that same bored look in your eye as she often wore at such events.

“So why is it we’re at the children’s table?”  Loki asked, sweeping her skirts under her and taking a seat.

“The Queen is hoping to match one of us to one of you.”  You said looking up at the elevated table with Odin, Frigga, and Thor sat with Queen Aelsa and her daughter.  “Thor and Amaranthae is the hope.”

“So we’re being kept away from the desired couple in case one of you catches his eye or she catches mine?”  Loki asked.  “Ridiculous.  Thor is no closer to marrying than a Bilgesnipe is of growing wings and flying.”

“Yes, and thus part two of the plan.”  You explained.  “You, my lady get the choice of the whole table.”

Loki snorted.  Actually snorted with laughter  It was embarrassing really, but thankfully no one acknowledged it.  “Charming.”  She said.

“Yes, well,”  Dinamh the spice elf said.  “None of us are too fond of the plan either.”

“Nothing against you, my lady,” Siora said.  “It is just insulting to all of us, you included.”

“To say the least.”  You said.  “Alfheim has had a violent history considering we pride ourselves on our peaceful ways.  It is not enough that we have been conquered twice now, we now have to hope that Asgard is willing to make a marriage alliance to ensure our protection.”

“The queen doesn’t trust the alliance after how long it took for Asgard to respond when Malekeith showed his true nature,” Siora said.

Loki waved her hand dismissively.  “You are one of the nine realms.  My father would not give up control of that.”

You shrugged.  “I don’t care.  I have no plans to marry anyone, let alone for political reasons.  Anything else that occurs is white noise to me.”

Loki chuckled.  “That is a good way to look at it.”  She said.  She was pleased that your wit matched your beauty.  Maybe that was part of what had attracted her in the first place.

As the dinner progressed Loki found herself relaxing more and actually enjoying the company of these elves. While most were still a little on the cheery side for her taste, she had never met people in the same position of being called royalty but being treated as lesser as she had before.  She was quite taken with you particularly.  She didn’t have many friends that weren’t just Thor’s friends who barely tolerated her before.  She could see being your friend.

The following day Loki avoided the whole spectacle of the royal visit.  She assumed that Thor was being forced into spending time with Amaranthae, or else Odin was against the whole idea.  Certainly, Loki assumed if they were against just the Thor factor, she’d have been visited by her mother right now talking her into at least being open to marrying one of the elves.

That hadn’t happened so Loki had gone to the library.  It was her safe place more than anywhere else in the palace.  She could disappear into the works for hours upon hours.  It was just over two hours that she had been in there when you came in.

She was aware of another person there right away, but it wasn’t until you came around the corner that the faint light you emitted caught her attention.

“Why, hello,” she said, looking up at you over her book.

“Loki,” you replied, nodding your head.  “I had wondered where you disappeared to today.”

“You missed me?” Loki teased, getting up and approaching you.

You chuckled.  “Hardly.  But it is noticeable when you aren’t around.”

“Were you looking for me?”  She asked.

You shook your head and gestured around you.  “I have heard stories for years about the great library of Asgard.  I had to see it.”

“It is quite a sight.”  Loki agreed and offered you her elbow.  “Shall I show you around?”

You nodded and linked your elbow with hers.  “This is the fictional section,”  Loki said.  “They are organized by where in the realms they are from and then by author.”

You looked up at the books as they seemed to just disappear up over your head as you walked down the aisles arm-in-arm.”

“This is the instructional manuals.  Everything from how to cook, to spell use, to the how to of sexual acts.”  Loki explained.

You looked at her and smirked.  “Spend a lot of time reading those, my lady?”

Loki chuckled.  “I like to take a more practical approach.”

“Mmm… I’m sure you do.”  You said and ran your fingertips up her forearm.

Loki looked at you out of the side of her eye.  The signal had been clear and she planned to respond to it.  She led you deeper into the library, away from the doors and windows.

“Here are the historical works.  The complete history of the nine realms.”  Loki said.

“Ahh yes,” you said, turning to face her.  “No surprise that Odin keeps records of those that surrender to him.”

Loki moved close to you, looming over you.  “And your people know all about surrender.”

“I surrender to no man.”  You growled.

“Then it’s good that I am not a man.”  She purred and brought her lips to yours.  The kiss was searing. Possessive and hungry.  She pushed you up against the shelves and ran her hands down your neck to your chest.  Massaging your tits.

You groaned and pushed against her, slamming her up against the opposite shelves.  You pushed your thigh between her legs and pulled her hair, sending a wave of pleasure that bordered on pain right through her and down to her cunt as she ground it against your thigh.

She let you lead, submitting to you as you claimed her.  A moan escaped from her as her cunt began to drip for you.

She grabbed your hair suddenly and spun you and pulled you flush against her.  “You know what they will do if they discover us?”  She growled against your ear.

You took a shark, ragged breath in, and began to hitch up your skirt.  “Oh yes, we would be destined to marry immediately.”

“So you best be quiet,”  Loki growled and slipped her hand into your panties.

She started to circle your clit with her fingertips and you grabbed your hand, lining your fingers up with hers and guiding them to touch you.  You pushed her fingertips so they pushed hard against your clit as you drew figures of eight over it.

“You like to be in control, darling?”  Loki crooned.

You moaned and moved her finger a little harder.  “I know what I like.”

“Then by all means.”

You kept guiding her to rub your clit, as she kissed your neck.  As the soft moans you made got louder, you curled your fingers, pushing all but one of her long spider digits back.  Her index finger you left straight and you guided it inside of you, so both of your penetrated you.  Her finger pressed against yours in the warmth of your cunt.  You guided her to the soft, sensitive spot of you g-spot and you pushed Loki’s finger hard on it.  You cried out and Loki curled her finger and dragged it over your sweet spot again and again.

Your moans got louder and louder and your fluids ran down Loki’s wrists.  You took your hand away and braced yourself on the shelves in front of you as you finally surrendered to her.  Letting her be in control of your pleasure.  She added a second finger to your cunt and used her thumb on your clit.  Your legs began to tremble and with a sudden cry, you came hard, shuddering around her fingers.

Loki stroked you through it and as your breathing returned to normal.

“Well, that was fun.”  You said straightening yourself out.

“Mm, it was.  Perhaps you’d like to return the favor sometime.”  Loki said.

“Perhaps,” you said.  “Be at dinner and we’ll see.”

Loki watched as you swept back out of the room, licking her fingers clean as you disappeared around a corner.  It was annoying really.  If the situation was any different she would pursue you.  That couldn’t happen now, not when two kingdoms would push towards it.  Loki could never allow herself to surrender to that level of interference.

[elizabethrobertajones]

(part 1) this is random but something im curious about is do you think the next few years will see a radical shift in more lead lgbt couples in shows? i feel like when supernatural started it was all about subtext/queerbating between characters we would never see canon (maybe), the last few years have seen an update in more side lgbt characters/couples and while not a lot, more main lgbt characters then we had before. I don't know if tumblr/twitter fandom translates to general audience...

Yeah, I mean, the only way is up. I feel lucky that I managed to encounter a fair amount of queer content in my formative years, whether targeted programming on TV, or taking the route of not really differentiating the perceived cultural value of independent media like webcomics and webnovels etc from the mass media as I was young enough to naturally grow up on the internet as the internet itself was growing up and web 2.0 was pretty much taking off alongside my use of the internet. And that I had liberal parents who didn’t regulate our internet, and lived in a community where culturally I didn’t really fear being discovered casually accessing all this like in particularly this terrifying seeming evangelical christian community in America.

Which really makes me feel like A: everyone should feel that comfortable in themselves via the media as I did as a mass accessible thing or B: that the world at large should be soaked in as much representation and more that I encountered as a curious teen because at the very least it did me no harm and at best helped handhold me through an awful lot. 

And then brings us to the problem that the world isn’t actually like that and for a lot of people their media is restricted one way or another, from everything such as the era of social media weirdly making us much LESS broadly travelled on the internet as I was back in the day (SO many bookmarks - I had like 100 that I would check either daily or on their weekly update schedule, with enough habit that I had pretty much memorised it all without using an RSS feed or just following everyone’s twitter and waiting for update announcements, never mind the vast pit of things which I occasionally checked to see if their sporadic but very worth it updates had occurred somewhere in the last month/year) to the vastly overwhelming amount of media accessible to us. It seems almost to flood the market and creates this panic about watching the worthiest shows and campaigning for them and raising awareness and the FOMO and how things slip by and zomg you have to watch this that and the other, when even just making this list on Netflix now contains more hours of TV than a human lifetime and also one liable to disappear from the service at some point or another without warning. 

And then on top of that you have the absolute cultural monoliths that if you’re not going to have a cohesive culture - which now includes the entire population of the world because of our connectivity on the internet and mass-joining of services - based around smaller shows and stuff, then at the very least everyone is going to watch anything under the main Disney umbrella, other superhero flicks, animated things, and all the really big studio franchises and remakes, as well as a few TV monoliths which manage to get enough people talking to make it seem like “everyone” (again - these days it seems like that’s presumed to be the entire western world plus everywhere else these things air) are watching, like Game of Thrones or whatever… THESE properties are the inescapable ones and on that basis they’re the things we have to lean on the most for representation and then again barely get any, when it comes to gender and sexuality, due to them shooting for such worldwide markets that they can’t imply gay people exist to censors in places such as China. And it exposes the cultural awfulness inherent just in getting a white female character in the lead role of some things, or the absolute garbage fire lurking underneath that if you dare have a black stormtrooper or make one of your female ghostbusters black when you’re already ruining the childhoods of so many how dare… 

In those respects, having side characters who aren’t even major well-known superheroes or jedis or ghostbusters or whatever also be gay (because even well-known lesbian Kate McKinnon didn’t manage to get her ghostbuster to be canonically gay even if we All Knew) would be absolutely groundbreaking, even if it was, like, a role that could be snipped out for the Chinese market or something. And that’s probably exactly what would happen, and cue ensuing riot from whichever fandom, along with everyone rightly pointing out that even for us who got to watch it it was still a tiny side character… I mean Disney is still at the stage of what they did with Beauty and the Beast’s ~canonical gay character~ 

So yeah… that’s thrown back to TV and smaller movies to lead the way and because the generations showing most likely the real global percentages but actually just the young western world stats on queerness in any form (like… 25% instead of 1% or whatever and that’s STILL probably too low) are still teens to young adults. The previous gayest generation above them are still just arriving in power and settling in, and the excellent changes we already have from the generation before that is what we are seeing now... But given THEIR cultural context, even their best can still seem to younger eyes, moderate and not generally placing queer characters in lead roles except in niche or indie or otherwise “acceptable” places to take those risks. I think change is always coming and culturally each generation being more open and accepting that the last is really making changes and so on, hopefully things WILL change rapidly and what was the common state of affairs in the sort of indie media I consumed as a teen will be the mainstream soon because a lot of those creators 10 years later are kicking off… 

All that said, TV in the mainstream is still controlled by Mark Pedowitz types exercising their power over the Bobos who have their Wayward Sisters pitches with the clearly labelled main character for the main teen demographic being queer. The culture is very much that we’re now pretty open and can happily have queer characters, but the main characters are still largely held separate. A good example is Riverdale, which is on the CW, a newer show with writers such as Britta Lundin, who is young, queer, and wrote a novel blatantly based on being a Destiel shipper and fan interacting with the cast and crew in fandom spaces, and whose first solo episode of Riverdale featured a looooot of the gay stuff (yay). 

But while she’s a story editor and writer for the show and can use it as a platform for writing stories for its audience using a whole range of canonically queer characters, the show still keeps all 4 of its mains at a strict remove from this. Cheryl can come out as a lesbian in the second season after a lil ho yay in the first but no clearly marked storyline about her identity, but even though Betty and Veronica kissed in the first episode it was blatant fan service (for Cheryl in-story, lol) and mostly just set the tone that they are the sort of seemingly straight girls kissing for attention while having strong romantic or physical attraction to guys. In the second season the kiss comes up again in joking that Jughead and Archie are the only ones of the main 4 who haven’t kissed, Archie gets one planted on him by a dude as a “judas kiss” moment of betrayal in season 3 and he and Jug are teased that they were expected to get together because they were close but in the same sort of homophobic undercurrent tones as early Destiel snarking from side characters, seemingly less about their relationship and more to unsettle them with implications… I mean it was a complicated moment but in the long run it didn’t seem entirely pleasant to me, especially given the overall emotional state they were in and later plot etc etc. (My mum is 1000% invested in Riverdale now as a former Archie Comics reader as a kid so this is now my life too as I was in the room when my brother callously exposed her to it, hi :P) 

Anyway that’s just one case study but aside from SPN it’s probably the most mainstream teen demographic thing I watch… Other examples would be things like B99 which had Rosa come out as bi and that’s awesome, and made us all cry a lot, but Jake, the clear main character even in a very strong and well-treated ensemble, has a great deal of bi subtext, there’s no way given Andy Samberg’s apparent habit of ad-libbing MORE progressive jokes that he’d ever be intentionally harming people if that’s how his brain works (you know, like other people quick-fire offensive stuff from their mouth working faster than brain sense of humour :P). But at the same time for all Jake’s quipping about crushes and such and the fact the show clearly knows how to be sensitive to bisexuality with Stephanie Beatriz being a strong advocate, just because Jake’s the main character and adorably married to Amy. In NO WAY can that be threatened because they’re SO GOOD, so there’s STILL uncertainty that this will pay off in the same special episode “I love my wife but I am bi” kinda way that seems obvious that could just be said. We all carry on without it affecting anything because obviously Jake’s found his soulmate so we don’t mess with that but they should know it’s important to clarify it… Even with B99′s track record, I’m nervous solely because Jake’s the main character and main characters tend not to get self-exploratory arcs about latent queerness and ESPECIALLY not if they’re happily married. If ANY show was going to do it right and trailblaze in this exact era it would be them, but… gyah :P 

Anyway I guess the conclusion right now is that the more mainstream you are the more uncertain it feels, but we are right at that cliff edge, especially with shows putting in SOME of the work. If B99 doesn’t get us there (or the Good Place where they’ll happily confirm Eleanor is bi in interviews but I believe she hasn’t said it outright on the show despite clearly showing attraction to female characters, again, the denials we know so well in SPN fandom reflect a wider audience view of dismissing this stuff as jokes and not reflective of character feeling and identification without a Special Episode dedicated to confirming it >.>) then we’re very clearly on the cusp of SOME mainstream or massively well-known show doing it at least once in a meaningful way that has an Ellen-style cultural impact on TV writing. 

Let’s make it a goal for 2019 or 2020, and hope that a NEW show with a canonically queer main from the start is pitched and becomes a mainstream hit in the next 5… Still got a ways to go before Disney level mainstream but again there IS work going pushing the envelope, especially if we get a movie of a franchise such as idk Further Legends of Korra, or Steven Universe or something else that’s massively pushed the envelope with sexuality or gender for their main character on the small screen in the experimental petri dish they’ve had there for children’s TV. Something that would force Disney to blink about a lesbian princess or Star Wars to let Finn and Poe kiss or Marvel to let Steve and Bucky hold hands or something in order to remain relevant.

Once the Big Cultural Monoliths get in on it, I expect culture as a whole to first of all react quickly on the small screen, but honestly I’ve been waiting for them to snap pretty much my whole life since adolescence and they’re taking such wee tiny baby steps, and some factors are enormous geopolitical awfulness, that the story as a whole is unpredictable and we can only really hope that things don’t slow down. 

(Where this affects SPN is just impossible to say right now, given its almost unique position in this mess due to longevity vs fandom vs almost entirely new generation of writers’ room) 

[withallthingslove]

Captain Marvel Spoiler Filled Review

A completely chaotic “review” that is just my random thoughts

spoilers under the cut

- i saw this movie with three of my close friends (one who is a dude and lifelong comic fan, and then two girls who are hella feminist) so I will include some of their reactions as well just to give an idea of what it was like for different people

- right out of the gate the Marvel intro montage is all Stan Lee. It was very heartfelt and the entire theater clapped. That pretty much set the mood for the entire movie

- I know a lot of critics found the beginning to be slow, and while I agree I didn’t mind it. One of my friends said she thought the beginning was a little too jumbled and she described it as “it’s like the directors learned how to direct as the movie went on”. 

- The movie opens with Carol (at this point called Vers) having a confusing nightmare and trying to decipher it afterwards with little help from those around her. Because Carol has amnesia, the audience is left to feel what she feels which is confusion. I get what the directors were going for, but it was a little jumbled. 

- I did find the dream sequence effective and did feel Carol’s confusion and fear when she woke up. 

- She goes to her mentor yon-rogg and asks if he wants to practice fighting. They banter, and it becomes immediately clear to the audience that although Carol is confused they have a rapport with each other and she trusts him. Although he teases her, he *appears* to care for her. During the fighting scene there is more banter, but yon-rogg also tells Carol to control her emotions better. I know there were a lot of complaints from fuckboys about brie larson being stoned faced, but it makes sense for the character. She has emotions, and then is told to suppress them. 

- it was satisfying to see her zap him with her powers anyway, and the whole “don’t show emotion” garbage he was telling her reminded me of like every female experience ever and first clued me in on yon-rogg’s shadiness

- On the train ride back from fighting, carol and yon-rogg have very flirty banter and eye contact and i was like ohhhhhhhh and interpreted it that they were a thing. I’m not sure if this was on purpose, but jude law and brie larson had great chemistry (brie had chemistry with everyone though tbh) and it was very hard to ignore. Plus they’re both hot. I leaned over to my friends and asked “they’re a thing right?” and they said “yes I thought so too” and “i think it’s implied”

- When Carol gets sent to the artificial intelligence place to be approved for her first mission I did find that scene pretty confusing and jumbled

- The mission itself was very dimly lit which made it a little confusing to understand/see what exactly was happening

- But it was cool to see Korath from GOTG. One thing this movie did really well was tying into other MCU movies and connecting everything. This movie definitely feels fresh compared to other origin stories but also fits in the the universe and makes it feel more complete

- When Carol was captured and her memories explored, ben mendolsohn’s voice came on as a voice over for talos and I leaned over to my guy friend and went “i fucking love ben mendolsohn” because ITS TRUE. His voice is so recognizable and then even underneath the skrull make up his acting was so distinct

- The memory exploration scene was jumbled like the nightmare, and it made me wish that we got more of carol’s human life backstory. I got the vibe that those scenes would have been better if they were fleshed out more instead of just little tidbits for the audience. that was one of my biggest complaints for the movie is the order the flashbacks appear and how little there were

- Carol screaming at one of the skrulls as she escapes was super funny and showed a lot of her personality. I think it separates her from a lot of heroes because most are nervous as they are trying to escape but she seemed confident in her powers and her ability and therefore could joke around a bit more

- The story definitely picked up once she crash landed on earth, and the 90s nostalgia was very funny and all of those jokes landed with the audience

-Samuel l jackson did a great job as a young fury. This fury is different. He’s much more idealistic and optimistic about the world, and functions more as a good cop than the fury we see in other mcu movies. It was also cool to see coulson again

- I really really enjoyed the scene when carol is able to make contact with the rest of the kree warriors the first time from the phone booth. Even though I got a bad vibe from yon-rogg I did get the feeling that he genuinely cared for carol’s safety. By the end of the movie my opinion about that was conflicted but I think that scene did a good job of showing that she was with them for 6 years which is a long time and why it took her so long to process everything that happened later because it countered everything she knew. It also did a really good job of showing that when she first landed on earth, she still was more kree than human. Her report back was very matter of fact compared to her later contact with them.

- Brie larson and samuel l jackson had GREATTT buddy cop comedy chemistry

- The train chase was very fun to watch, and like the trailer it was very satisfying to see Carol punch the “old lady” 

- the scene where fury and talos (disguised as a SHIELD agent) look to see if the dead skrull has a penis got A LOT of laughs

- There’s a scene where Carol is standing outside trying to figure out her next move and this motorcycle dude pulls up and revs the motorcycle and tells her to smile. She just glared at him and then stole his motorcycle and it was ICONIC

- Again I really really really love the dynamic between Carol and Fury

- the second phone call when Carol makes contact with the Krees shows her more human side coming out. Brie Larson is great at showing emotion and as she was starting to put the pieces together everything was making more sense and less sense at the same time and you could feel her confusion and panic that something was off.

- Ben Mendolsohn is a gem and needs to be protected pass it on

- I LOVEDDDDD the moment when Coulson let Carol and Fury go without ratting them out just proving once again that he is one of the best and while i love loki i also hate him for killing him because coulson is too good for this world

- Things got really good when Fury and Carol went to Maria because I STAN FEMALE FRIENDSHIP SO HARD. From the first look they had so much depth and Maria played a huge part of helping Carol understand who she was. 

- Also go Maria for being a badass pilot and single mom and amazing best friend

- MONICA IS THE BEST OMG. Her line to her mom about setting an example for her was A++++++

- Goose the cat was also great the only thing I’ll say about this is that Goose is a scene stealer. I don’t want to give the spoilers for Goose away because while predictable they are things I wouldn’t want to spoil for anyone

- I loved the subtle nods at gender inequality 

- While the “twist” of Talos and the skrulls being good was predictable it was still very enjoyable. The predictability of it did not take anything away from it. There were references to how other planets treat refugees and Ben Mendolsohn did a great job with the pathos required for the role

- He also did an A+ job with the humor which I won’t give away because those lines are worth hearing fresh

- I think yon-rogg ‘s shadiness at the beginning is what tipped me off to the twist that he is the true villain of the story. 

- Again, the movie’s flashback scenes felt like they should be my favorite part and filled with drama and be the emotional backbone, but they just didn’t get there. It took so much effort to decipher them that you didn’t really get to sit back and process the emotional weight of them. So when Carol ran out crying once her memories returned while I thought the acting between her and Maria was great, the meaning of the conversation and hug did not have the full weight because the audience (or me) was still processing what we just learned

- Annette Bening is my mom. Also if there was ever a biopic on elizabeth warren she should play her. Also I don’t like that we didn’t get as much Mar-Vell and the reveal that she was helping the skrulls was very rushed and I feel should have had more of an emotional impact. Plus more about her relationship with carol

- Talos reuniting with his family was incredibly sweet

- It’s cool to see where exactly the tesseract ended up between CA: TFA and Avengers

- Okay.why.do.yon-rogg.and.carol.have.so.much.sexual.tension. I was worried it was just me and I looked at my friends and was just like wtf is this are they about to fuck? and we basically agreed that their sexual tension kept building throughout the final act of the movie and that they wanted to hate fuck. After one moment during the fighting it kept building my friend went “yep THIS IS CANON”  because you guys I am not kidding like I don’t ship them because yon-rogg SUCKS but they had the best accidental chemistry of any co stars ever

- The scene where Carol breaks out of the restraints and realizes her full power was BADASS. I loved the flashback montage of her always getting back up again and embracing who she it. POETIC CINEMA

- Though I personally did not like the scene where she is fighting off the Kree on the ship.. . I just wasn’t a fan of the song choice and some of the lines were just cliche. It was nice to watch Carol smile with each hit as her power increased because she was enjoying it which is something we dont see a lot i feel like but the scene did not reach its full potential for me

- It was cool to see ronan and have the space marvel movie characters be tied in. And interesting that we saw ronan before he went “rogue” Again this movie did a great job connecting the dots to other marvel movies

- CAROL IS SO POWERFUL OH MY GOD THANOS IS GOING TO GET HIS ASS KICKED AND IT WAS SO SATISFYING TO SEE HER JOURNEY

- speaking of satisfying watching her tell yon-rogg she doesn’t need to prove him anything and then blasting him into a rock cured my depression

- again i dont really understand their relationship because there’s the sexual tension, the seemingly genuine caring on his side that is conflicted with his utter manipulation and lying (a very good example of how abusive/manipulative people often don’t come across that way)... the fact that she doesnt kill him? like girl kill him and be done. It was funny when she grabbed his hand and then just dragged him to his ship, but then when he told her he couldnt go back empty handed the way jude law delivered the line made it seem like he was confiding in her and there was this intimacy. And then she was just like “boy bye im ending this war and idgaf what happens to you” because shes a queen and is done with his lies

- The ending with Carol and Talos was cute

- The ending with Coulson and Fury made me want to cry and scream because the avengers theme song began to play and we see the beginning stages of the avengers initiative which just made me think about how we have one month till all the characters we love die and this franchise has meant so much to me over the years

- the mid credit scene continued that excitement and dread.

If I was ranking the movie as a critic, I would probably give it 65%. It was good, I was never bored, the performances were great. But it definitely should have been better. There were just some parts of it that were underwhelming or didn’t deliver the way they should. My guy friend said it was just okay and that it felt more like a tie in to endgame and less about captain marvel herself. My other friends agreed on the 65% from an objective opinion, but we all want to see it again.

As a hardcore marvel fan, I give the movie 75%. I loved the characters, the easter eggs, the acting, the way the movie felt like a new beginning for marvel while still tying into past movies. It was everything I love about this franchise

[simplyserens]

yeethaw and howdy once again partners, it’s me your extremely annoying friend sierra, back at it again bringing her usual garbage characters. anyways if you’ve been here for a bit you’ll remember saturn, my infamous gossip spreader, she’s back! but with a new fc and a new name, so buckle in. new york just got a whole lot messier.

╰☆╮SCARLETT LEITHOLD ─ SEREN KLINE identifies as DEMI-FEMALE and uses SHE/HER & THEY/THEM pronouns. they’re a GOSSIP COLUMNIST/SINGER, and they’re only TWENTY-TWO! they’re said to be SOCIABLE, but also MANIPULATIVE. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE GOSSIP in the tabloids. ( sierra, she/her, cst, 18+ ) ( marina )

the polymath & the contingent — aka her early years [ 0 to 12. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ]

seren arian kline was born to two parents, who were running away from their past, and who had no idea what they were going to do with a child at their age, both of them being 20 & 21, respectively. 

fun fact! seren’s name translates roughly to ‘silver star’ in english

her mother amelia was a daycare assistant, and her father found wok in the tech industry, together their small little family of three tried the very best to handle whatever life threw at them together

they gave seren the best life that could possibly afford, not having much but the roof over their heads, and barely making enough to say that they were living paycheck to paycheck

at an early age seren proved to be exceptionally smart, not smart enough to be some crazy child genius or anything like that, but she was smart enough that her parents knew they needed to get her the proper education that she deserved, if only they could afford it

seren spent most of her adolescent being the kid that was teased on the playground for reading a book instead of playing soccer, but instead of telling her parents, she’d repress it deep down inside

 seren’s bullying eventually lead to her insatiable need to be liked by everyone, no matter who it was, a teacher, a principal, a fellow student, she craved the validation, nay she needed the validation that came with being liked by other people

her parents began busying themselves with work and lost the special connection they once held with their daughter, their schedules never crossed paths, and soon seren would end up feeling more alone than before

at the young age of 12 seren kline tried to take her own life in her childhood bedroom, thankfully her parents quickly rushed to her aide, and she was being treated in a hospital before she knew it

after spending time with the therapist that seren never knew that she needed she was diagnosed with severe depression, quickly put on medication, and told not to try to throw herself back into her school work, except that’s exactly what she did, throwing herself back into her work like she’d never done before

she thought that this endless cycle would go on for the rest of her life, until one day her father came home with news that would change seren’s life forever 

the opulent & the sovereign — aka her teen years [ 13 to 18. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ]

her father had landed a new job far away from Wales, and they’d be moving to America, Pennsylvania to be exact

seren was more than ecstatic to get this news, not only did a higher pay increase for her dad mean a nicer lifestyle, it also meant a higher status for her & her family

seren’s mom quickly took the opportunity to find a new job in teaching, and managed to get seren into a very prestigious private school in pennsylvania

it impressed seren’s mother because their mission statement involved churning out well-rounded pupils and a focus on college readiness, it excited seren because she knew she’d finally be with the in crowd

the minute that her bran new louboutin stilettos crossed the pavement she became the new queen b, much to everyone’s dismay

she immediately developed a superiority complex over her peers, showing off her riches whenever she got the chance, constantly reminding them she was better, and despite her behavior she had herd of girls that wanted to be like her, and even more guys that wanted to date her

but despite leading multiple guys on, and then proceeding to do the same thing in secret to some of female peers, she was never fixated on a relationship, all she ever wanted was success

 though her life was about change for a second time on the days leading up to her seventeenth birthday, her parents announced to her that they were getting a divorce, that there relationship wasn’t working out anymore, for trauma's sake seren moved in with her mom, and her father was given visitation rights

her mother ans seren moved to new york, she was no dating some bigshot music producer that she’d met during one of her dad’s many business events

seren was a singer, but mainly kept it hidden from her parents, so the day, aka her seventeenth birthday, she accidentally slipped up and sang in front of her mom’s new boyfriend, he signed her to a music contract, or more her mother signed for her

tthe vindictive & the gossip — aka her current years [ 19 to now. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ]

her parents became overbearing in trying to control her image and the music that she wrote, so she became very good at lying, and so most of seren’s freetime was spent with her dad in pennsylvania

to try and escape her parents overbearing nature seren applied to nyu university, and to everyone’s surprise, including her one, she was accepted on a full ride scholarship for journalism

in hopes that she finally was beginning to focus on her studies, seren’s parents allowed her to take an extended hiatus from her music career that was just beginning to flourish

seren didn’t do the best in college, like she wasn’t the worst, but she was definitely called into the guidance counselor's office more time than she can count

seren usually used manipulation tactics to get what she wanted during college, heck at one point she even had her roommate wrapped around her finger, and for a majority of her college life she had everyone believe in things she wasn’t even sure were true, but rumors from a pretty face are a powerful thing

seren ended up sleeping with her journalism professor, which basically gave her free reign to do whatever she wanted during class, and soon enough despite everything she thought would happen, she graduated with a degree in journalism

immediately seren was thrown back into her music, and she released her second album at nineteen

though perhaps the more debatable thing that really kickstarted her career is a thirst trap picture that was reposted on chance’s instagram with the caption ‘who is this’, she gained followers overnight 

though seren knew that she wanted more to life than just music, and instagram clout, so she began a gossip blog, she goes under the pen name saturn, but lately it’s been harder to keep the secret from everyone

her gossip blog is the one place where she’s truly herself, spreading rumors being vindictive, and just overall ruining things for people she’s supposedly cares about

though reading her articles and meeting her in person is two completely different things, she will quite literally smile in your face as she twists a knife in your back, and you’ll never suspect a thing

[quirrrky]

gardenia

secret lovers (tumblr thread | fanfiction.net)

Chronological One-Shots / Blank Period / Pre-Last / Canon Compliant

After the Fourth Shinobi War, Naruto was gradually falling in love with Hinata and the whole village of Konoha knows it…Well, aside from him.

entry thirteen

Prompt: It's his 18th birthday and a time to visit certain people.

/gardenia/ a dainty, white flower; a message of secret love

"Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head.

It was becoming a normal trend for his life now. He had been receiving a lot of presents from different people he never really knew.

When he was still Naruto the homeless demon-child or whatever, no one really even paid any attention to him. Ha! He was even an omen that must be avoided.

Before, shop owners would kick him out of their stores, saying that he was bringing bad luck to their profit.

Now, he got free stuff from them and they would even ask him to frequent their stores.

Before, the passersby and the bystanders would distance themselves away from him and would tell him just as how awful he was, a demon, a nuisance, society's basic garbage.

Now, they looked at him with such admiration. They even asked for his signature, and to have a photo with him. He was now being hailed as a hero, an inspiration and a role model for everyone to look up to.

Things drastically changed for him and the village ever since the war ended. And it was not that the he was being such a brat about his current status in their village, sincerely, Naruto was thankful above everything else.

He didn't condemn how the village saw him before from what he was presently. Instead, he saw those as stepping stones. They taught him humility, they taught him how it felt to be at the lowest ring of the society, that he never wanted anyone to ever experience what he had.

Whatever he was right now was all because of the trials, hardships and uphill mountains he had to face.

When he was still an annoying little boy, he thought that gaining the village's respect, was his ultimate goal-that it would make him feel fulfilled. And he already achieved that, even without being a Hokage. On top of that he was seen as a hero. It wasn't even part of his dream, but he exceeded the expectations.

Thankful. Yes, he was sincerely thankful.

However, amidst all the piled-up gifts and the prestige recognition, he was still Naruto and nothing really changed. His world still felt like a shallow sea, his home still didn't feel like a home and his heart was still half-filled.

Standing before the entrance of his apartment, he leaned on the door and exhaled heavily. He never desired solitude as much as how he did at this moment.

"Naruto," a voice came from the outside.

"Thank God! Someone I knew - ttebayo!" He hurriedly opened the door and saw his pale teammate.

"Well, since it's your birthday, I've been tasked to fetch you. We're going to your ramen place. "

As expected, he jumped and down in excitement. It had been a while. Kakashi-sensei was too busy being the "coy" Hokage, Sakura-chan was running around stuff at the hospital and Sai was always out on missions.

In no time, probably due to his excitement as well, they reached Ichiraku's. There he saw his team-the nearest thing he knew of family and he couldn't help but feel happy. Yamato-sensei was already seated, Sakura-chan was whispering something to Kakashi-sensei and there's a cake on top of the table.

"Woah! Is that cake for me?"

"Who else Naruto? " Sakura remarked in her usual bullying tone, but gladness was evident on her face. "Happy Birthday, idiot!"

"Happy Birthday Naruto!" The rest greeted as he expressed just how much he appreciated everything.

They caught up with each other as they waited for their bowls to be prepared. Talking about how busy yet boring their current routines had become and laughing off Naruto's perception about being a Hokage.

He still didn't get the cruel part yet. Kakashi thought to himself.

"Gahh! All the missions I was getting was fixing these darn paperworks in your office, Kakashi-hokage-sensei." Naruto complained that made the silver-haired man a bit embarrassed and waved-off,

"It's not really official yet."

"Eh? Oh kami, here we go again with this. You're still saying that Kakashi-sensei, although your face is already carved on the mountain." Sakura remarked with a sigh.

Sai, who had been contemplating all this time finally spoke, "Oh! Is Hina-"

Their pink-haired teammate immediately nudged him and went to whisper, "Still on a mission."

"Oh I see. I see. That's too bad." Sai acknowledged as Kakashi-sensei nodded in agreement.

With a tilted head, Naruto was about to ask what's going on until Teuchi broke in and announced, serving the blonde an extravagant bowl of ramen,

"For my favorite customer… There you go, my boy. A celebratory ramen for your 18th birthday!"

Naruto's mouth quickly watered at the sight of his celebratory ramen. Ribs! It was that especially dipped ribs this time!

"Thank you, ochan! I can't believe this!" He said ecstatically and started to munch down his favorite food.

Ramen, it was the only flavor his tasting palettes ever had when he was still considered a nobody in the village. It was ramen that filled his empty stomach, and he never thought that it would be ramen that will fill his then empty heart.

He ate it everyday, everytime. His heart knew no other food than ramen. Some may say it's irrational, but it was his first taste of ramen that he felt like he was just an ordinary child. It made him feel just like a normal boy, not a demon, not some catastrophe and not a monster. It was ramen, the first real food he actually ever had.

Most importantly, the wonderful memories he made in his life happened with a bowl of ramen. He could still remember the first sip of that warm broth, when he also first met ochan and Ayame-neechan. Then, the bowls he had with the original Team 7, with his comrades, with his newly gained friends and so much more! Naruto didn't have a formal home, but somehow in this ramen stand, his heart belonged.

Whenever he was tired and deflated from a very complicated mission, just the sight and aroma of ramen brought him back to life. That cute yet very tasty chasyu made him forget about the worries in life. Ramen energized him. It made him feel like he's home. How simple-minded of him isn't it? But it was his simplicity and child-heartedness that gave him the courage to smile, even at the toughest of times.

"Wow! I just couldn't believe it. You're 18 already. Who would've thought?" Teuchi said with nostalgic tears forming at the edge of his eyes.

"Ah! You're a young man now, Naruto. Which means…You'd soon be bringing here a girlfriend!" Ayame commented that nearly choked Naruto out.

"W-What the hell are you talking about?" The blonde asked quite weirded out.

Sakura was about to throw in something sharp, but she preferred to shut her mouth up instead, thinking that Naruto might use her as a scapegoat again to dodge the topic.

"Well, you know… You are now known as a hero, isn't it just right that the hero finally gets his princess, huh Naruto?" Ayame teased, to be followed by Teuchi,

"In speaking of princess, where is Hina-"

Sakura abruptly signaled the old man.

Hinata was supposed to go home last night, but due to certain changes, she might get back to the village a little late. Informing the birthday boy that something went quite wrong with the kunoichi's mission, may not be the best one to do, since everything was still under control.

Sakura awkwardly brought back the topic, "Okay, so a princess, huh? Let's just get back to it, Naruto."

The blonde stared at her for a while, keenly scanning her features. His eyes didn't miss every corner of her face, making her a bit uncomfortable and self-conscious.

"Meh, you're so far from being a princess, Sakura-chan."

Cha! You knucklehead! If it wasn't only your birthday, I would've!

Sakura swore. Naruto might be very dear to her, but she was sure as hell that she could destroy his face!

"So Naruto, what type of girls do you usually find attractive, huh? We have a lot of patrons here and you might not know, we could have found the perfect girl for you." Ayame asked slyly.

"Eh!? I just turned 18! What's the connection –ttebayo!?"

Aside from Sai, they all sighed exasperatedly, but the young brunette's spirit never wavered.

"Do you prefer shy girls with long hair and hime bangs? Or how about the timid, and innocent-looking ones with porcelain skin? Perhaps, a girl from a powerful clan? I'm pretty sure we know someone from those categories."

Naruto burped loudly. "Man, that was great! Thanks for that ochan! Now, let's go to the cake!"

They all sighed again, except for Sai who was counting how many of those did he have to watch out for. So far, apart from Sakura who already did thrice, they already sighed twice. Interesting.

Soon enough, the gathering was over. Kakashi-sensei brought Yamato-sensei with him back to the Hokage office to discuss some matters, while Sakura-chan was hurriedly called by someone from the hospital to do some necessary rounds.

Naruto couldn't help but feel thankful for the time they have imparted although he knew their lives were pretty much occupied unlike his. The loss of an arm made him not qualified yet to do his usual missions. Instead, he was stuck with Shikamaru and stack of paperworks.

"You don't seem happy, Naruto." Sai pointed out as they chose to traverse the less-crowded path.

The blonde immediately panicked at his question. He was about to deny, but he couldn't lie to himself.

"Well, the village treats me a lot better now. I supposed that makes me happy? "

"Based on what I've read, you can be thankful but not feel happy at the same time."

Thankful, but not happy? Was that what he was feeling right now?

He just sighed loudly at Sai's sharing, hinting his teammate that he needed to expound the idea.

"Well, it says there that you may truly appreciate everything you've been receiving in life, but you would still feel empty."

Naruto just scoffed. How would being thankful not enough to make you happy? Well, he's happy right? Is he?

"And by happy, what I meant is purely happy."

"Purely happy?"

"Well, yeah. The book came from Sakura, so there's a lot of embarrassing stuff in it. But it stated there, that being purely happy… It makes you feel like your heart is full. Like there's nothing in the world you could ever ask for."

The blonde fell silent for a while. Sai might be miscalculating a lot of things, but he surely hit the bullseye on this one. Naruto always felt that straight-up hollowness from within. He started to realize this when he saw his mom. He might get the success, the respect and the glory, but he still won't be able to piece himself altogether.

Unlike other people, Naruto knew that he couldn't complete himself alone. And that deep inside, he was still missing something else, but he didn't even know how to fill it, because he didn't even know what it was.

"I hope that clear things up."

"Yeah, thanks. It did, a bit. Hmm… by the way, where are the others? "

"Hmmm… I believe that Team 10 with Kiba and Shino just went out for a mission this early morning, while Shikamaru, Hinata-san and Ino are still out on a mission. In speaking of, I should head on to meet Shikamaru, they must return by now." Sai said as he made his way.

"See you around and thanks again!" Naruto bade as he ran off, deliberately choosing to take the empty streets.

Atop the Hokage monument, he went. And finally found peace just on top of his father's head. Like this, he felt so close to him, no wonder why this was his favorite spot after all. Although his birthday signified the end of the war as well, people of Konoha decided to not celebrate it as a festival. This was to honor the death of their loved ones who fell into their demise during the war. Rather, this day was being celebrated in solemnity and peace.

With a deep exhale, he closed his eyes and went Sage Mode, closely feeling his surroundings. It was just a shortwhile before he moved and identified his target.

He roamed the streets in a haste, avoiding the stare and attention of the people that might recognize him and would stop him along the way. He was planning to go somewhere else. It was not because it was his duty, but it was to pay his honor and earnest tribute.

He deactivated his Sage mode as soon as he reached the quiet haven-the sound of the green grass being swayed by the wind was playing like a calming song, matched with the clarity of the tranquil blue skies.

"Hinata," He called out with a humming voice.

"Oh," She looked at him and gave a vibrant smile.

"So I see… flowers." The blonde muttered, looking at the white Lilies as his heart jumped at the sight of it. Out of nowhere, he looked back and forth the white Lilies and Hinata, he didn't know but there's something about it…

"Well, that's one of Neji-niisan's favorite."

"Neji liked flowers?"

Hinata giggled softly and confirmed, "Yes. Secretly, he did." Slight sadness coated her voice, recalling how her Neji-niisan would love to sit at the balcony watching the flowers in their garden as he sipped tea. It was one of the few moments, when Hinata saw the gentleness in his face.

"Well, sorry about that Neji. I didn't know you liked flowers. But even if I did, I still find it weird that I will give you one. I know you will find it odd too -ttebayo."

The timid girl chuckled at his remarks. It felt like Neji-niisan was still with them by the way Naruto-kun talked to him.

"Hey! You know what Neji, Hinata here is super awesome dattebayo! You should see how amazing she is with Taijustu now. I know she is strong since then but I never truly experienced it firsthand until she air-palmed me in the face-"

"Tha-that was an accident, Naruto-kun! I'm sorry, I got carried awa-"

"Nah, don't be sorry, Hinata. Neji here is truly an effective teacher after all. Tsk! How much I would love to kick your as- Anyway, anyway, anyway. Do you know that I've already been inside the Hyuga compound? Damn! You guys didn't tell me that it was that cool there. However the people are a bit creepy, though aside from Hanabi, she was really fun although a bit bratty just like Konohamaru."

Hinata gave a faint laugh at his rumblings. Being with him like this with Neji-niisan, somehow made her feel like he's a part of their family.

They talked some more, with both of them trying as much as possible to infer how Neji would've reacted if he was still with them. It's heart-warming how the tears they poured the last time they've been here were replaced by light-hearted laughter and wishes.

They paused for some air.

Hinata felt deeply grateful and happy. She'd only wish that Neji-niisan already found his peace up above.

Naruto felt like he should be thanking Neji for something more. Not just for laying his life for him as a comrade, but also for something else he still could not fathom. In his head echoed his last words as he died in his arms.

Hinata-sama is willing to die for you…

They sat still in quietness for several minutes. Until, they both felt like it was time for them to go. He helped her get up, holding her hand in the process-she felt the strange electricity that came with it and reflexively pulled away immediately, her fingers started fiddling along the strap of her sling bag.

They stood by the grave, internally bidding him goodbye.

Neji, thank you. It's to you I'm very thankful of and I feel like I owe you more than just my life.

They started walking, wrapped around the peace and the quiet of the memorial park. Naruto kept at glancing Hinata's way, trying to measure her up.

"Uh, Hinata. Today is, uh... Today is… You know what today is right?" He asked her a bit sheepishly.

He felt so selfish to demand Hinata to remember his birthday, when he can even barely remember hers. Well, it was snowy during that evening, so that must be during the Winter.

December! It was December!

Hinata looked at him speculatively and gave out a cute laughter. "About that Naruto-kun… "

He raised his head and looked at her expectantly.

"Today was the day we won the war right?"

The blonde pouted and rubbed his nape, hiding his dismay. 'Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Did she really forget about my-

"I was really supposed to be home last night, but something went a bit wrong with our mission-"

Instinctively, he grabbed her shoulder and examined her dramatically.

"Are you okay? Aren't you hurt? God! I was so stupid! I didn't even consider-"

She reassuringly took his hand away. "Naruto-kun, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's just that Shikamaru-kun and Temari-san had an encounter along the road."

He sighed in relief. Thank god. Thank god.

The shy girl just laughed at him sweetly. They strolled around quite awkwardly for a while, with Hinata waiting for his next words and Naruto trying to figure out a way to stretch time, until he remembered something.

"Oh Hinata!" He said as he took her hand and led her somewhere.

"N-Naruto-kun?"

"I want you to meet them. I'm sure they'll like you dattebayo!"

Them? They'll like me?

She looked at their intertwined hands, remembering that moment during the war. Then her eyes landed on him. She noticed how she almost look up at him now. He got taller and the fit of his orange-collared, white shirt couldn't hide the breadth of his shoulders. He was also starting to lose certain chubs along his jaw.

She blushed.

He looked a bit stronger now than before. He was becoming a man.

She bit the inside of her cheek.

What was she thinking?

However, his tight grip on her hand was making her feel fuzzy. His hand-it was rough and callous, but it was warm and her hand felt so little against his.

They stopped by two graves. She looked at Naruto and he had with him a longing yet genuine smile.

"Touchan, kaachan, I want you to meet Hinata dattebayo!"

Her eyes widened for a short second and she instantaneously bowed down her head.

"Nice to meet you, uh, Minato-san, Kushina-san." She greeted reading the names carved on the stone plates.

Naruto couldn't prevent that light tickles in his chest. How wonderful it would be if his parents were actually alive to meet her?

He was certain that they will both like her. He was so much like his mom, so he was sure that she would greet Hinata ecstatically. She would bombard her with embarrassing questions and she would tell stories about him much to his humiliation. He could imagine his mom squeezing Hinata's cheeks, because she would find it a bit puffed. His dad, although not big on personality, would probably ask him how did he make friends with Hinata and will warmly welcome her.

"Ah, it's Kakashi-sensei's efforts that had their graves in here since touchan was his sensei. We were supposed to visit later, but I cannot wait to show you. Before, I didn't really get to know who my parents were. Now, I'm glad I could get to visit them even just through here."

"Naruto-kun," she murmured his name as few droplets of tears fell from her eyes.

"Anyway!" Naruto segued noticing that he was already making her cry. "See, Hinata here is a bit delicate. She cries easily, but that's just because she's really kind dattebayo!

"Ah, she's a bit quiet and calm just like touchan though, but she's very strong, just so you know. And it was also Hinata who saved me many, many times already. Plus, she was really smart!

"You must try her cooking as well. They are really great! Kaachan, you would definitely love to cook with her!

"She's a bit odd to explain, but if you ever get to meet her cousin, Neji, up there, I'm sure he can tell you how precious she is. So please watch over her, just as how she watched over me. Because Hinata here is always by my side."

He said, glancing down on their joined hands. Just like during the war. In his heart, that moment will always remain symbolical.

Her eyes widened and a blush never left her face, but she regained her stature at an instant.

"Minato-San, Kushina-san, I'm very pleased to have this opportunity with you. N-Naruto-kun grew up as a very strong person and he was getting even stronger everyday. And it wasn't because of his jutsus, it was all because of his spirit to never back down. Thank you for gifting him into this world. For me, he's more than just a hero, but he also became my inspiration. So there's no need to worry, we will be watching over him as well."

Even if Hinata had such a frail and silent voice, her message came vivid to Naruto. And just like before his fight with Neji and practically everytime he was around her, he felt revived, like nothing was ever above him and he can do everything.

A tear escaped his eye and he hurriedly looked away, concealing from the shy girl.

So not cool…

He swiftly wiped it away, letting go of her hand in the process.

Forget about her not remembering his birthday, her enlightenment alone was the best present ever!

They stood in comfort with Hinata trying to picture Naruto having his parents with him- a complete family, all in all a bittersweet dream. Naruto was internally telling his parents stories he was a bit embarrassed to let Hinata hear.

The air softly blew and a fragrant scent came across. His attention was caught by a beautiful white flower, swaying below his kaachan's grave. He watched as it broke from its stem and flew away. With no effort, he caught it. It looked elegant yet simple at the same time and it gave off a very calming scent.

Naruto looked at Hinata, whose attention was still on the graves.

"Hinata," he called out, with his arm a bit stretched, giving her the flower.

Her cheeks were tinted light pink. She flustered, not expecting him to be giving her a flower, asking herself where did he get it from.

"F-For me?"

With eyes pinched closed and a delighted grin etched on his face, he nodded in affirmation.

"T-Thank you, Naruto-kun."

"Well, it's cute… kinda' reminds me of you."

He just grinned at her with that child-like grin.

She looked at him quite dumbfounded as he rubbed his cheek absent-mindedly. "Anyway!, We must get going. You must be hungry, it's getting late -ttebayo!"

He started walking, but she didn't move.

"Naruto-kun," she called him, "I-I well… "

He looked at her a bit puzzled, "What is it Hinata?"

She pulled a brown bag from her sling bag and slightly shoved it onto his chest. With a bowed-down head, she shyly greeted, "Happy Birthday Naruto-kun! I-I didn't forget… I-I was just teasing you, so… "

"Woah! Is that true? You remembered?! Hey… " His reaction turned mopey. "So you were teasing me all this time, huh Hinata! Tsk, I never thought you could be so mean like that. "

"I-I-I-"

"I'm just kidding - ttebayo! So what do we have in here-" He broke the paper bag in excitement and, on the grass, dropped a premium cup ramen. "Wait! Hell no! I can't believe this. Thank you so much Hinata!"

"You're welcome, Naruto-kun and happy birthday again."

Naruto kept on blabbering on how excited he was to try the imported ramen once he gets home. Hinata then offered to place the cup noodles for awhile,

"For safekeeping, Naruto-kun."

He happily obliged. "Let's protect my birthday ramen -ttebayo!"

They both laughed afterwards, while she placed the ramen back inside her sling bag.

The two walked back, enjoying the play of light as the sun began to set.

Before Hinata's eyes, flashed the memories she spent with her Neji-niisan. She couldn't really pull it off without crying. A bold step forward. Just like what he said and she will forever bear that in mind.

On one hand, Neji's last words still bothered Naruto. They said that a person's last words were their dying will. He knew that Neji stated such during the war to remind him of his responsibilities and the many lives he had at the weight of his shoulders. But he somehow felt that there was still something more…

Hinata-sama is willing to die for you…

He looked at her-her face radiating such purity and serenity like the lily on Neji's grave and the white flower she was holding, the one that swayed from his kaachan's grave, which he gave her. He gazed upon her hand.

How would it feel to hold it again?

Impulsively, he held her hand.

She gasped and suddenly looked at him.

He gulped at the sudden realization of what he just did.

"Well, uh, I just remembered the-the chakra transfer thing we did during the war and… I" He closed his eyes and composed himself, "I just want to know how it feels like again, since I was so focused to fight against Obito and Madara, I didn't really get to-"

"It's okay, Naruto-kun."

She calmed her beating heart and he was trying to figure out what he was doing.

"Na-Naruto-kun has… Back then, you have a very warm chakra. Even just by holding your hand like this it still feels…comforting."

He was quite taken aback by her, but soon a smile came across his face, "Same here, Hinata."

Naruto confidently walked beside her, recalling everything that transpired that afternoon and it was like there's nothing he could ever ask for.

The fog filled their views and they all gathered around for a Yakiniku. Tenten was solo in calming down Lee and Gai-sensei as she internally cursed Neji for leaving her alone in handling the two. Shino, with Shikamaru and Choji, was busy catching up with their former senseis. On one hand, Naruto was bickering with Kiba from their height up to how frequent they take a bath.

On a little spot at the corner of the room, was Sai sketching something or maybe someone.

"Hey, Sakura." Ino called out her friend in a whispering manner and pointed out her finger on Hinata, who was seated across Sai. "Has someone else been seeing Hinata lately?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Look at Sai's drawing and just look at her closely. She's holding a flower."

The pink-haired kunoichi's eyes widened as she saw the girl in question holding a beautiful white flower, while her dainty little fingers marvel its petals. Her eyes and smile showed tenderness and fondness.

"Being a florist myself, I knew what that flower means, Sakura. It's…" She came near her ear and whispered.

Suddenly, Sakura felt a bit nervous and sad at the same time. She looked back and forth at Naruto and Hinata with worried eyes. She turned into Ino and she knew that they were both getting the same hint…

They definitely need to act before it's too late.

[redrobinho0d]

Write more Jason Todd and write me them dang Roy Harper ones plz and thx ❤️

Headcanons about being friends with Jason Todd and Roy Harper (Arsenal)~

You grew up in Gotham, of course you’d heard all about Batman and his band of sidekicks, Nightwing and Red Hood and Red Robin and Robin. But you’d never really paid it much mind because you had your own life to live and you were pretty sure you didn’t know any of them. But there’d been a series of bank heists in Gotham, and you ended up one of many hostages during the last one

You were sitting with the other hostages when some moron in red and black busts in, guns blazing

Yeah he took down the bad guys, but he also got shot for his efforts

You were the first to get up and try to put pressure on his wounds, yelling for help

He shrugged you off, and before you could talk sense into him he was out and the cops came rushing in, asking you questions, and it’s only then that you realize that that had been the infamous Red Hood

Days later, you were walking home when he approached you again

“Why did you do that?” “You’d been shot saving all of us, I wanted to help” “I didn’t need your help-” “Everyone needs help sometimes”

You’re annoyed, but you tell him “Thanks anyways, Red Hood”

He just stares at you for a long time before pulling off the Hood, looking at you with a smirk

“Call me Jason” “…..Y/N”

Eventually spending time with Jason leads to hanging out with him and his best friend, Roy.

“This is my other best friend Y/N, she’s cool I swear”

You both stare at each other. Eventually Roy just shrugs

“If Jason likes you that’s good enough for me”

It takes a while to warm up to each other, he’s slow to trust after all and honestly you think he’s a bit of an asshole

But eventually, after learning to tolerate each other so you could both spend time with your mutual friend Jason, you start to grow on each other

And instead of “just an asshole” he’s now your asshole

And somehow you’ve become joined at the hip with these lunatics

Gear up buttercup, because while you can learn to deal with one or the other of these two, when they’re together they just egg each other on and go to insane levels because they have no chill. E v e r y t h i n g becomes a competition or a bet of some kind between these two, and you will be dragged into every single disagreement and made to pick a side.

“Y/N, help us settle a debate, who’s prettier, me or Roy?” “You’re both really attractive-” “NO THAT’S A COPOUT ANSWER, WHO’S BETTER-LOOKING?!”

“Y/N you love me more than Jason don’t you?” “You’re both my best friends-” “Yeah but who’s your favorite?”

“Hey which of us is a better shot? Me, right?”

“Hey, $100 says I can jump off this roof and stick the landing” “Jason no-” “Oh you’re on, when you break your legs you owe me $100″ “RoY NO-”

Whoever’s side you end up taking, they’re always over the top

“Fine, Y/N, I see how it is” “Jason please-” “I’ll never forget this betrayal”

These boys are trashy attention whores. Both of them will flirt with you constantly, but you give as good as you get and take great pride in the instances you’ve been able to render them red-faced and flustered when you flirted back. But the instant you actually try to date someone, out come the guns and arrows and there goes any chance you had with the guy who [mistakenly] thought he was good enough for you. They just want your attention all the time.

They eventually invite you to join them when they cuddle on the couch, and you get squished between them and they bicker the whole time but you’ve never felt so safe and cozy

They show up at your window in the middle of the night after a particularly rough patrol

Jason wants a hug and somewhere quiet to be where you won’t ask if he’s okay or what happened

Roy wants to get takeout and watch crap t.v. and bicker about trivial things that don’t really matter

Both of them are quiet, and feel kind of bad about waking you up, so they start to bring apology presents: your favorite food, a new stuffed animal, your favorite movie that they rented

You don’t really mind because they’re your best friends, of course you’ll be here for them when they need you

You accept the gifts anyways, though, because you’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth

They come up with all kinds of nicknames and pet names for you, some teasing, some condescending, but some just genuinely affectionate names and for every insult they have for you, you have at least 3 for them so you’d call it even

These boys are absolute garbage about self-care, so sometimes you have to take over for them.

Roy forgets to eat, or drink, or shave for days at a time

Jason forgets to shower or brush his hair, and drinks to chase away nightmares and leaves the bottles scattered all over, along with cigarette butts

They both hate doing laundry, so they stay in their pajamas as long as they can get away with

Until you barge in and start lecturing them, shoving Jason into the bathroom and snapping at him to shower

Cooking a meal for Roy and giving him a glass of water and telling him to sip it slowly

They’ll grumble and bitch at you the whole time, but secretly appreciate the effort

And on the days you don’t answer your phone because you’re tired and don’t feel good, they pick the lock on your door and surround you with blankets and watch movies

And they don’t say a word about how bad it may be, or ask questions you don’t want to answer

Just offer comfort and solidarity, and help you get back on your feet and feeling like yourself

You’ll never have to worry about money again. Through less-than-legal means both of these kids have a looooooot of money, and what’s theirs is yours. You tell them you don’t want free handouts or to take advantage of them, you’re not some charity and they shouldn’t take care of you because they feel bad for you. But they just look at you like the biggest idiot on the planet, and tell you “Well dumbass, how about we do it anyways because that’s what friends do?”

Always a safe place to stay the night in one of their many safehouses

Sometimes they try to bribe you to take their side in a squabble

“Man that was crazy, you okay Y/N? How about I pay for an Uber to take you home”

More often than not they treat you to dinner, or ice cream, because they just like spoiling you

And of course, being their best friend you find your way into your fair share of trouble.

The first time you get kidnapped, you just shake your head and pity the poor sap who thought you’d be a good bargaining chip

“Sources tell me you’re valuable to Red Hood and Arsenal. You just sit pretty until they follow my demands and no one has to get hurt-” “If you really think that’s how this will go down, then you’re even dumber than that gaudy costume makes you look”

Before they can hit you, the glass overhead shatters and they come in guns blazing

Before he can even process what’s happening, the poor guy is so full of arrows he looks like a porcupine and riddled with bullet holes. Really, he never had a chance

They both fuss over you as they cut you free, and you just wave away their mother-henning and tell them to take you home

They do, but after that they decide to teach you to protect yourself

Jason gives you a gun, and teaches you how to shoot

Roy teaches you how to fight, and you get thrown to the ground endless times and feel like a constant walking bruise

“You can do better than that, Y/N” they snort at you

Roy suddenly finds himself eating dirt

Jason feels a bullet whistle past his ear

But that’s what they get for egging you on

The next time they get a call that you’ve been kidnapped, they just laugh and tell you to save some fun for them

Because of who they are and what they do, they sometimes disappear for days and weeks at a time with no real warning.

Eventually the three of you work out a code, and based on what colors or numbers you text in the group chat they know exactly what you need and are ready to back you up

Likewise, if they’re in trouble they know what to tell you to get you to come help, or call in backup for them

You know where all the safehouses are so sometimes if there’s no word for a while, you just pick one and get it ready for them to come home to

And fall asleep on the couch waiting and hoping your best friends are still alive

When they stumble in, bloody and bruised and grinning, you spend a long time yelling at them and throwing things at them

Until you eventually calm down and they pull you into a group hug

And everything feels okay for a while, until the cycle repeats

You just hope they keep coming home to you because as much as they drive you insane, these assholes are a big part of your life and you need them

[ellygoesnyooom]

May i Request something? How would the RFA+Minor Trio react to an MC how's really sweet but gets extremly scary when angry. Like she's not agressiv or violent but she gives of a real vibe of killing intent.

Sure, anon! I’m kind of in a time crunch, and could only get through the RFA members for now. I haven’t forgotten about the minor trio, but they, sadly, will have to wait until the end of the weekend to be posted, as I’m going to my dads today and won’t have internet most likely. Plus seven’s is like a million times longer than the other’s and made the whole post longer but honestly when isn’t seven’s longer than everyone else’s for me ugh. His also turned out a bit on the angsty side? I hope you like these, though!

Edit: I added on the minor trio! You can find the link to their headcanons at the bottom of this post!

Yoosung

You didn’t get angry very often, but man were you scary when you did get mad

You always told Yoosung to stay on your good side, but he thought you were teasing

O h boy was he wrong

He ate the last of your favorite treat not remembering it was yours, and when you got home from work/school and found that

Hooo boy

Yoosung watch out

You had already had a bad day and was looking forward to curling up with that treat and just pretending everything was fine

It was obvious who ate it, and you were m a d

You found Yoosung sitting in the living room on his phone, and stood in front of him with your eyes narrowed and hands placed severely on your hips as you looked down at him

“Yoosung? Did you eat the rest of my food?” You asked it in such a calm voice, much calmer than he was used to

“Oh, you mean the food that was in the fridge? Y-yeah…” Your eyes flashed, but you just sighed and retreated to your bedroom

He had a feeling you were mad, and decided to give you a little time to relax

He may or may not have called his mom to see what to do

Later, he came in asked if you were mad. “No, I’m not mad. Just mildly irritated” she’s mad yoosung watch your step

He had never heard you speak so passive-aggressively or with so much sarcasm. The response was oozing with it. When you looked at him, your usually kind eyes were steely.

He made it up to you by going out that night and buying all of that food he could and bringing it to you lol he’s so extra sometimes

Zen

He thought you were so sweet and kind, always putting others before yourself

He admired you for that

Poor man didn’t even think that you held a little satan in you when you get mad

He was lucky to not be the target of the anger, but instead it was at one of his female coworkers who was getting a little too touchy-feely with him

Zen had told you about her, and was ranting about how annoyed he was getting with her. You tried to comfort him and keep a level head, but that resolve was quickly fading

A few days after he first brought it up, you asked to go to rehearsal with him. Of course, he said yes

You sat off to the side and watched as they rehearsed. The girl he was talking about was very talented. You almost forgot that she was getting too friendly with your boyfriend

That is, until break came and when Zen tried to go to you, she grabbed his bicep and pulled him back, getting up close to him and whispering something in his ear with a sickly sweet smile on her face. Zen’s eyes were wide and he looked tense, uncomfortable. It made your stomach roil and called the little passive aggressive satan in you out to play

You got up from your spot in the house and stomped up on stage, startling both Zen and his female coworker

“Excuse me, miss. Would you kindly get your hands off of my boyfriend? I noticed you getting a bit, oh, I don’t know, close to him. I’ll be frank with you, dear: I don’t like it. I’m not mad, just giving you fair warning.” she’s mad

Her saccharine smile faded from her face quickly and she dropped her hand from his bicep, stuttering out an apology as she walked away, busying herself with her script

Zen was in a state of shock, and you were glaring daggers at the girl as you slipped your hand in his and dragged him down off the stage and to your spot

You were pouty and angry the rest of the day, and Zen knew from then on he never, ever, wanted to make you mad

Jaehee

A customer was being particularly rude to Jaehee, and it was starting to make you mad

You tried to mind your own business and take care of the other customers, but this man was just being obnoxiously rude to her

“No, no, that’s not right! I asked for two shots of espresso and skim milk in my coffee! You only added one shot of espresso and added 1% milk!” “Sir, I added two shots of espresso, and I told you we ran out of skim.” “No, miss, you obviously don’t know how to make a cup of coffee, or have any listening skills!”

You were fuming after the last comment and quickly excused yourself from the customer you were working with, coming up to the man and laying a firm hand down on his shoulder

He whirled around as you spoke.

“Hi, sir, I would gladly appreciate it if you would stop insulting my girlfriend’s coffee making skills and her listening skills. She has perfectly working ears, and her coffee is the best damn coffee I’ve ever had. I watched her add two shots of espresso to your coffee, and I know for a fact that we don’t have skim milk because I used it in a woman’s coffee this morning. If you aren’t going to be polite or kind to the woman giving up her time to make you coffee, you need to leave this shop. Bye bye.”

He seemed dumbstruck, staring at you with his jaw slacked. Jaehee had a similar expression, her eyes wide

You jerked a thumb towards the door, and with a grumble, the man stomped out, calling out about giving the shop a bad rating

You resumed your previous tasks, and Jaehee resumed hers

When you the last customer left, she immediately asked you what that was

You just shrugged. “I got mad. He was treating you horribly. I won’t stand for that.” She knew two things in that moment: she was so lucky to have you, and that she never wanted to piss you off

Jumin

He kept on telling you ‘one more hour, MC, then I can spend some time with you’ for the past five hours, and you were starting to get mad

Usually, you were pretty chill about him working. You understood

But, he promised that he wouldn’t work today, that the two of you would spend a nice day together

Then something came up with work, and he told you only an hour he would work. That was six hours ago, and you were finally reaching your wit’s end with it

After the seventh time he does it, you huff angrily and mutter a low, “Thanks for the lovely day together, Jumin, I really enjoyed it” before striding out of his office

You said it so nicely and calmly, as if you were saying that dinner was ready, but there was hidden daggers underneath the words that were aimed at him

When he glanced out the window, his stomach and heart dropped when he realized the sun was setting. His promise to you bubbled back into his mind and he felt horrible

He finally decided to stop and went out in search of you

He found you typing angrily on your phone in the dining room with Elizabeth laying in your lap. She looked up at him as he approached and, sensing the tension, jumped out of your lap and left the room

You didn’t look up but said, “Look who decided to show up after the day is over.”

He sat down in the chair beside you and hesitantly placed a hand on your arm, afraid that you would lash out at him. You were giving off murderous vibes. He never saw you this angry

“MC, I’m terribly sorry that I neglected to follow through with my promise to you. I got so immersed in my work that I forgot to stop. How can I make it up to you?”

“I’m fine, Jumin.” “No, you aren’t. I can see right through you, MC. Could you please look at me?”

Your eyes finally met his, and you saw so much sadness and remorse in his usually emotionless eyes. Your anger slowly melted away. How could you hold a grudge against him?

“I’m sorry, I was just upset.” “I could tell…. You know what? I must contact Assistant Kang urgently, I’ll be right back, my love.”

He left, returning a few minutes later with a grin on his face. “I’m all yours for the next week. What would you like to do?”

He never wanted to get on your bad side again, because he was low key scared of you then lol

707/Saeyoung

He was pushing you away again

You were trying to be patient with him, but it had a limit. Saeran was better now, but his progress was going a bit downhill lately, stressing Saeyoung

Saeyoung was so stressed over Saeran that he started subconsciously pushing you away

You would ask him to come to bed, but he would rather rudely decline

The meals you made him went untouched, and a few times you found the meal scraped into the garbage can

He kept on telling you the same things he did back in the apartment, all old lines. 

One night, you found him slumped over in front of his computer asleep, so you brought a blanket in to cover him up

You were laying the blanket over him when he woke up and ripped the blanket from your hands, standing up

He spit the usual lines at you, but this time, the anger you had tried so hard to contain boiled over, and you laid into him

“Saeyoung Choi, I don’t know who you think you are fooling here. Do you really think I am so stupid as to believe what you are saying? Let me ask you this: what happened to ‘I will never make you sad again’? What happened to the vows we shared at our wedding? ‘I will love you and honor you all the days of my life’? What happened to that? I don’t know who this Saeyoung in front of me is, but I do know one thing: I miss my husband.”

He was standing there, eyes wide and glassy as he processed what you were saying. You didn’t raise your voice too much but the message was clear, and he finally got it

You turned to leave, but paused in the doorway to call out, “If my husband decides to come back, I will be in the bedroom” before disappearing down the hall

When you left, he took a deep breath and sat down in the chair, hands tangled in his hair. While you lectured him, he was low-key terrified for his life. He had never seen you so angry

He stayed there to clear his head, and finally, after a little bit of time to let you cool down, he went to the bedroom to find you

He entered quietly, shutting the door and settling himself at the edge of the bed. You were sitting with your back pressed against the headboard, eyes staring straight ahead.

“MC, I’m sorry. I’ve been a real dick lately, haven’t I?” He let out a humorless chuckle. “I guess I broke my promise to you again. I’m sorry, I really am. I.. I’ve just been so stressed about Saeran. He’s gotten worse lately. Just when I thought life was going good. I guess I was taking my stress out on you, which was not fair. I’m so sorry.”

You crawled over and wrapped your arms around your husband as he bit his lip, trying not to cry. “I love you, you know that, right? I’m not about to leave you because you are having a hard time. I’m bound to you forever, see?” You grabbed his left hand and you put yours beside his, showing the matching wedding bands. “I’m stuck with you, and you with me. That’s not to say I’m not upset about you shoving me away again, but I’m not going to leave you because of this. So please, stop pushing me away?”

He wrapped his arms around you tight, the first hug you had from your husband in over a week. “I won’t again, okay? Just remind me if I turn into a douche again. Slap me if you need to. I dont want to see you mad like that. I thought Saeran was scary when mad, but you…”

“I HEARD THAT!” Saeran, who had been passing by the room, yelled, which broke the tension between the two of you, making you both laugh

Finally, things were starting to look up again, and Saeyoung learned his lesson to never make you mad again

You can find the Minor Trio here!

[thistlepath]

stuff about Aggy

this is for that meme i rebloged a bit ago, i was asked to answer “all of them” for a character of my choice. this is gonna be kinda long.

What is your OC’s favorite color?

Dark purple :3

Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect?

No, he’s not very materialistic and hasn’t had much of a chance to collect anything anyway.

What kind of things is your OC allergic to?

As a Carlec he’s automatically incapable of eating plants or dairy without getting really, really sick if that counts.

What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

Basically pink pygamas and a cape, that’s just how Carlec dress.

What is your OC’s first memory?

A vague memory of some kid being annoying and him scratching their face way back when he was about 7 or 8.

What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite?

Favorite: their version of turtles, he thinks they’re cute and they like to eat his /least/ favorite animals.

Least favorite: it’s a tie between a type of fish that enjoys trying to eat kids that fall into rivers and a type of beetle that enjoys trying to eat dead, dying, and/or injured unconscious critters and people.

What element would your OC be?

Fire, i think. He can be destructive and horrifying, but also helpful and fun :D

What is your OC’s theme song?

Hmm… there are a lot of them XD

maybe i’ll post a list later.

Do you have a voiceclaim for your OC?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5m_W31hDeU

He’s jeremy.

What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

Wrath. Definitely wrath.

What are your OC’s hobbies?

He likes to make dye, dance, and rip the legs off of beetles :3

How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?

That depends, most of the time he’s /incredibly/ hot-headed, like murderer levels of hot-headed, but if he really, /really/ likes you he’s incredibly patient and understanding.

What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.?

male. weird Carlec sexuality that most resembles a combo of bisexuality/pollyamory (i don’t know all the different sexualities and such, if there’s a name for that i’d be happy to hear it) but is basically the Carlec version of being straight. mountain/marsh Carlec :3

What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods?

He likes to eat beetles and large, winged insects. If you only count food he can eat safely, his least favorite food is turtle. They’re too cute to eat and he doesn’t like breaking their shells.

If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why?

Probably a turtle, though an Alvean bird would also be pretty cool!

What does your OC smell like?

At the very beginning of the story: dried blood, mildew, and an odd acidic smell that builds up on Carlec when they’re unhealthy.

After a while of being outside and a nice change of clothes: dead leaves, dirt, and just a hint of blood.

How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job?

Currently he doesn’t, he’s working to get his /freedom/ back, he isn’t getting paid. He wants to be a dye-maker like his mom once all of this is over, it’s been his goal since he was little. He /really/ doesn’t want anything to do with mining, he’s spent long enough trapped without sunlight and warmth, thank you very much. He also doesn’t want to be a hunter.

His current job is basically escorting an idiot and an old lady from point A to point B without them getting murdered, it’s fun when he gets to threaten people or fight wolves, but it’s mostly just walking around (at first.)

What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths?

Hmm. the Carlec have this idea where you basically have to /earn/ having a soul, and doing stuff that makes their deity upset with them starts to slowly destroy their soul. Murder is one of the things that makes her angry, and he keeps getting put in situations where he basically /has/ to kill people. He’s terrified that by the time he dies he’ll be so far gone that he’ll just disappear. It doesn’t help that he’s almost entirely sure that if he /doesn’t/ fade away he’ll end up as some kind of ghost.

He also has a fear of deep, fast water :3

What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song?

Carlec music is nothing like any human music i’ve ever heard, so it’s a bit hard to pick out different styles and such. He likes happy music being sung by groups, which sounds a bit like if you crossed a choir, a barbershop quartet, a bunch of purring, mewling cats, and a bunch of little birds together and had them sing pop songs.

If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?

He’d be absolutely terrified. Our world is incredibly foreign to him and i seriously doubt people would have a very positive reaction to him. Plus, unless he ended up somewhere really warm and humid he’d likely get sick pretty quickly. He’d find some place to hide and then stay there, to scared to come out for anything but food.

What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves?

Well. he just got out of prison and now has to babysit an insensitive, ignorant Alvean and a grumpy old lady, he’s convinced that he’s missing a chunk of his soul, his dad died while he was away and he didn’t have a chance to say goodbye, he’s constantly anxious and lashes out at people violently when startled, he feels incredibly uncomfortable in the center of attention but also feels like he has to be the most intimidating, loud person in a room to feel safe… the list just goes on.

He really doesn’t like being interrupted or asked stupid questions.

What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?

If the teacher was nice he’d be incredibly respectful and work very hard to do well. if they were a jerk (or he saw them as one) he’d be a rebellious little monster, seeming to do everything in his power to either get them fired or get himself kicked out of the class.

What is a random fact about your OC?

He wears his cape over his right shoulder to hide the lack of spines on his upper arm. He’s asymmetrical, something that isn’t too uncommon when Mountain and Marsh Carlec mix, but that’s still incredibly uncommon in the general population. He was teased for it as a kid and is still insecure about it.

What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living?

He tries to be optimistic, but a life of bad luck and being treated like garbage has kinda made that hard.

What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them?

I was bored one day and ended up coming up with a scene of a token-evil teammate finding out their mom was super sick and trying to hide their panic and sadness from their team because their merciless, sadistic reputation needs to be upheld, dang it! And i wanted to draw it. I used a random generator to get the basic idea of what the Carlec look like (slender, delicate build..same height as the average human..reddish/grayish brown skin..muted black hair..very large ears..giraffe-like spots on arms and legs..large, brown/red eyes..colorful, modest clothing.) and made a ton of potential designs for him before eventually settling on one that’s very similar to how he looks now, just with smaller ears, more spots, slightly different hair, and a slightly different face shape. I never ended up drawing that scene, but i decided to keep him anyway. His personality started out as a manipulative, sadistic, just about irredeemable monster with the redeeming qualities of “he loves his parents” and “he /eventually/ cares about his teammates.”

Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?

His mom. After the events that caused his issues she was the only person who really stuck with him. His village decided he was possessed and thus dangerous, his dad disapproved very vocally of his decision to become a maker instead of continuing his training as a hunter, and his best friend/fiancée eventually betrayed him. His mom never stopped supporting him and believing that he could get better.

Hmm. Aggy’s weird in that once he cares about you he /doesn’t stop caring/ no matter what you do, so i don’t know if his friend can be counted here? If so, then definitely her. She was one of two actually good things in his life, then she had him sent to a human prison for murdering a pair of assassins. That place was absolutely /horrible/ and it was probably the worst thing that could’ve been done for his mental health.

If she doesn’t count, then probably the first prisoner he ended up killing while in prison. That idiot trying to kill him is what set him firmly on the path towards what he is today, if that hadn’t happened the queen probably would have had him released years ago.

What kind of childhood did your character have?

A not very nice one. Way too much being treated like some kind of monster, too much of his parents arguing about him, too many former friends avoiding him, too many injuries, and nowhere near enough support, love and guidance.

What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions?

When he’s nervous he tends to swish his tail back and forth like an angry cat, and also often bites and chews on things when they’re available.

If those count, then i suppose so? I don’t know a whole lot about the subject.

Not at the moment, but he used to have a bit of one to this special drink the Carlec have at parties. It makes people more energetic and cheerful, then incredibly tired as soon as it wears off. The Carlec have a lot of parties, so most have at least a bit of an addiction to the stuff.

If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose?

Hmm. he’d just have somebody else chose it if he could, but if he absolutely had to choose it’d be something along the lines of “i promise i won’t haunt you guys. Probably. I’ll have to think about it.”

Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?

No. he’s pretty much done with romance after what happened with his Ex. there’s a chance that someone could change his mind with enough time, but it’s gonna be difficult.

He’s not sure about having kids, but he doesn’t think there’s much chance of it anyway if he never gets married.

What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory?

Most traumatic memory: his entire village turning on him and his best friend in the whole world not only not defending him, but making sure he gets punished even more harshly than he would’ve otherwise.

Favorite memory: this one’s more vague, it’s stuff that happened almost every day and kinda blurred together, but it was all equally amazing as far as he’s concerned. Waking up every morning, warm and safe in his comfortable, cozy home. Spending several hours making dye with his mother and laughing with her about how it had somehow gotten all over their hands and faces while his dad went out hunting. All the little things that he had to go without for so long.

If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be?

Freedom, of course.

Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why?

Hahahahahahahaha

Aggy’s got this thing, it happens sometimes to Carlec who’ve been through something traumatic, where he’s constantly on edge and automatically reacts to perceived threats with violence. It’s incredibly difficult to keep under control, and even when it is it often just builds up until they eventually snap and get even more violent than they would have otherwise. In serious cases the Carlec will seem more like a feral animal than a person, luckily Aggy doesn’t have it that bad but if things continue the way they have he’s gonna get there within a few years.

What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

He used to love helping with the music for parties, he’d play bells and sing.

How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

His imagination is a bit caught up with imagining horrible situations he could end up in, potential escape routes for every room he enters, and stupid nicknames for everyone he meets.

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

To go home and be happy. That’s his main goal at all times, ‘make sure this goes well so i can go home’, ‘save [insert person here] so i can redeem myself so i can be happy’ etc.

He needs to hurt critters and fight people and kill things. He gets super anxious all the time, and that’s the one thing he’s found that helps him calm down.

He’s willing to do a whole lot of things. He won’t hurt anyone he cares about, and he’d prefer not to die, but other than that he’s pretty much gonna do anything to get what he wants.

What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do?

Well.

He eats his food raw. He kills people. He torments small creatures. There’s a lot of stuff he does that most people wouldn’t.

What would your character do with a million dollars?

Use it to try to free one of his old prison-friends and then give him whatever’s left. Carlec don’t really use money.

What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can?

He’s currently homeless and has no possessions other than the clothes on his back and a knife.

Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?

Well, if he’s free to have a night out in the first place he’s probably home, so most likely some kind of party, his party outfit, and either his team or his parents. He doesn’t have many friends :D

What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

Attack things. Make things hurt. Cause whatever pain he can in whatever made him angry. It makes him feel somewhat better.

Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from?

Not really, it’s hard to scratch a Carlec through their scales, and it takes a lot of damage for an injury to show through them after it’s healed. If he were human he’d have scars all over from fights, running through dense forest, falling in a river and nearly dying as a kid, etc.

What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said?

Oh, that’s hard. Aggy loves to offend people, it’s one of his favorite hobbies.

How does your character react/ accept criticism?

That depends on both what’s being criticized and how the criticism is given. It could be anything from quickly accepting it and asking for advice to /literally/ killing you.

If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?

Well. almost literally /nothing/ on pineapple pizza is edible for him, so he’d react pretty badly. Whatever this ‘something bad’ is has to be pretty bad. He’d eat it, but would clearly hate every second of it and would get really, really sick afterwards.

Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works?

He would immediately believe it was real and quickly hide it in the safest place he can possibly find.

Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle?

Not really, he could probably make little stick-figures, but that’s about it.

What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult?

Evr, Aggy’s mom, was very loving, supportive and comforting, she was his mentor and primary source of advice, help and positive social interaction.

Kven, his dad, started out the same. Unfortunately Aggy becoming ‘possessed,’ deciding to be a Maker despite clearly being a natural Hunter (that’s a huge deal to a lot of Carlec), and losing his cheerful, friendly attitude kinda messed up their relationship. He was usually either angry at him or ignoring him.

He doesn’t know Rili or Tin very well, they married his mom about two years after he was kicked out.

Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush?

The closest thing to candy the Carlec have is this super sweet nectar that they make into drinks or soak meat in, and it’s literally made to give anybody/anything that drinks it a sugar rush. When Aggy drinks it he gets even more jumpy than usual, but also super giggly so it seems like he’s having fun?

If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count?

He’d be horrified and depressed, this means that he won’t get his chance at redemption or see his family again. He’d do everything he could to both prevent/delay his death and get home as soon as possible, desperate to see Evr again and at least say goodbye.

[seven-oomen]

So I hope you’re feeling better, and have managed to cool down finally.  A year or two ago, the A/C in my apartment kept going out, to the point where finally they had to just replace the whole unit, and there were days when the temp inside would hit nearly 33 degrees (according to Google’s conversion chart.)  As someone also very much built for colder climes, I was about ready to murder someone, but that would have required too much movement and energy expenditure.  So I know just how indescribably miserable that feeling is.  (Frankly if I ended up in Eur at any point, I would probably also cave and buy some sort of A/C, too.  Give me cold over hot any day.  I can always add more layers, I can only take off so many.)  Also, I hope you’re feeling better in general after therapy, and that it was at least helpful and cathartic, if super difficult and heavy.

I’m sorry your game turned out disappointing.  I’d seen a few memes pop up on Facebook with no real context that now make a lot more sense.  I think sometimes a sequel that just doesn’t quite live up to expectations can be worse than if it’s just a trainwreck from the start, because you can visualize how it might have been if only…

I did have one more thought on the HP front (oh god, why?  how?  I was never really even in that fandom…)  I can’t remember enough details right now to be certain if Durmstrang was more generically Eastern European coded or if it was more specific to certain countries, but I thought it wouldn’t necessarily be entirely out of the question that Noah could be a student there.  Chris in Beauxbatons is a no- brainer.  And Hale is already a British last name.  Basically, what I’m saying is Tri-Wizard Tournament, except they’re fucking.  (Which given what little I know about the HP fandom, that is probably not the first time someone’s said that…)

And I see we’re just going right for the feels with that flashback, huh? XD  Why do I have the feeling that there’s going to be a corresponding scene in the current timeline as a callback that will just make it hurt even more?  (My heart says Stiles or Malia singing it to Ben, my head says anything is good, really)  And now I can look forward to imagining John’s ghost lovingly Gibbs-smacking the three of them upside the head any time they start getting angsty about how the other two feel.  Do you have any FCs for (young) Claudia or her father (I think there were already at least a couple different actresses, so I consider her fair game)?  Or Julio?  And having a visual for him now makes me think of the flashback in Ch.6 where he was treating their injuries, wondering if he and Mieczyslaw ever did go to have a “chat” with Elias, if there was a specific event that lead to that particular incident between Chris, Noah, and Elias, and where Peter was during all that (and who kept him from “helping” his father with his visit)?

Oh, one more for the sibling prank pile: when I was in high school/college, a lot of times when I’d be over at this one friend’s house, we’d be downstairs playing video games with her little sister and/or brother (by which I mean, they would be playing GoldenEye or Perfect Dark, and I would just be dying a lot because I’m beyond terrible at FPS), if we were playing music “too loud” (usually No Doubt or Garbage, or later on, AFI), her older brother would go upstairs to his room and start blasting Queen or Pink Floyd at top volume to try and drown us out, like some kind of Stereo Cold War (instead of using headphones, or asking us to turn it down, or something else logical.)  It definitely made for some interesting mash-ups, and I always had to fight down the urge to ask him “…you know we like those bands, too, right?  Like, if you’re trying to dissuade us or irritate us, you’re doing it wrong…"  Long story short, I could totally see Stiles and Jackson doing something like this, until one of their dads gets so frustrated they start blasting some of the most teenager repelling music they can think of to make them stop.  Peter: “You think this Spice Girls mix is painful?  Keep it up and you’ll learn that I know where Chris keeps the Nickleback CDs he doesn’t think we know about.”

This was originally gonna be part of my review, but I wasn’t sure how long it might get, so I saved it for one of these.  So I know in a previous chat you mentioned Peter’s wedding day was one of the happiest of his life, and I know Chris calls them his husbands, while Noah said Peter’d been “practically proposing”, so I was wondering would they be considered engaged at this point, or actually married (like, werewolf married or something)?  Because I am entirely here for some kind of ceremony once shit calms down a bit.  I can’t see Peter resisting the chance to get both his boys into fancy suits to show off just how lucky he is.  And they could work all the kids into the ceremony in different roles, all of them dressed up, too, but allowed to style it based on their personality and preferences.  Think about all the photoshoot opportunities.  Not sure who would be the best choice for officiant, because I’m not sure who may or may not have popped up by that point in the story.  I feel like the most appropriate setting (based on present knowledge) would be the Nemeton.  Second option would be the back yard of the house once it’s been rebuilt, depending how far in the future that is and how long they want to wait to make it official (Or other locations, what ever feels the most right.)  Imagine Melissa (lovingly) roasting the everloving shit out of them in a speech.  T H E  D A N C I N G…  Just, like, a huge celebration of the fact that they made it through.  And don’t forget the honeymoon…  Them at very least getting a room in some super luxe hotel, even if they don’t want to go too terribly far away because of the kids.  Champagne, huge shower stall and Jacuzzi tub, giant bed with 1000ct sheets, balcony with a hot tub, just, like, all the nicest, fanciest luxuries.   (And because I apparently can’t get enough of them teasing Peter to distraction)  At the end of the night they all stumble into the bedroom, and get Peter sitting down on a chair or bench facing the bed.  They loosely tie his wrists behind him with the tie he’d been wearing, and slowly unbutton his shirt and slide it down to wrap around them as well (they all know it hasn’t a chance of holding him, that’s not the point) before backing away out of reach and going to work on each other’s suits.  Eventually they’re down to just their necklaces, dress shirts, and an extra surprise they had made for their husband; matching Chantilly lace panties specially handwoven with a triskelion pattern (I was thinking maybe out of lilies-of-the-valley, because for some reason I felt like Peter was a May baby, and that’s the birth flower for that month, and also I feel that would curve into the Hale spirals fairly easily and nicely.  And while I like the idea that it’s traditionally black, this one has a lovely blue shift threaded through it that would look AMAZING on them), and featuring thin triple side ties made from silk in shades of blue to match their eyes (‘cause maybe he won’t rip it if he can just untie it?).  Peter’s brain would just keep blue screening and rebooting as he tried to process everything, while they turn and crawl up the bed (giving a hell of a view as they go), turning back to him as they lean up against each other, trying to mock pout through their smirks like “Won’t you join us, husband?  It’s lonely up here without you."  His shirt just ends up confetti sized shreds of white cotton (or silk?) floating gently down to the floor as he surges up the bed at literal supernatural speed so fast he almost bounces off the headboard, trying to figure out a way to tackle both of them at once.  (…Holy shit, I cannot believe I just actually wrote all that out.  Apologies if it went a little far, as per usual, I may have gotten carried away.  In my defense, speculating about it kept me from murdering the guy who decided to open and start "testing” our dog whistles because he insisted the last one he got didn’t work, so.)  Actually, that also reminds me, we know that Derek has a triskelion tattoo, do you think Peter does as well?  Or gets one at some point?  Do you think Noah or Chris would ever get one, as a sign of pack loyalty, since the Hales are the ones that took them in when their own families cast them out?  (And also, that’s definitely a mark that’s not going to fade away, but also does not carry the risk of accidental turning.)  Where would any of them have/get them?

And re: review responses, etc.  Don’t worry if you don’t want to reveal too much ahead of time.  I generally figure a lot of what I mention is stuff that has a good chance of just coming up later in the story.  I’m equally happy with the previews we do get and with waiting patiently (I swear I can) for things to be revealed in future chapters.

Oh, and the cosplay!  (Sorry, meant to mention that earlier but I got…distracted…)  If you do ever get the chance to do that one that would be amazing!  By the time I got into TW I wasn’t getting to cons very much any more, so I’ve never really seen anyone cosplaying any TW characters, at least obviously.  And we so rarely got to see any of Peter’s beta shift as it was.  I will say that the Hale boys are some of my faves for fandom inspired fashion (basically where it’s not specifically a costume and most regular people wouldn’t get it but I know.  I’ve done it with a number of characters over the years.)  I have several henleys in colors that feel appropriate to the show’s wardrobe, that if I’m in the mood I’ll pair with some dark jeans and boots or black chucks.  It lets me express my fannish inclinations with less risk of anyone getting all judge-y about it.  I, however, can’t get away with wearing them with quite as few buttons done up as they do, there tend to be laws about that sort of thing.  I also have a cute floral dress that works really well for a Lydia inspired look, and plans for similar, slightly more obvious, versions for Raven (Teen Titans) and Black Canary, should I ever manage to get to a convention again (I’m much more prone to costumes that are adaptations over exact accuracy.  Nobody wants to see me in a spandex suit, not even me.)  But yes, full support and encouragement on the cosplay!  That look is definitely one that would catch attention.

Final unexpected segue: Many, MANY years ago we carried a product at work that was an anti-mating spray (yes, that’s spelled correctly).  It was intended for unspayed females that went into heat to help keep interested males away.  Many were the customers that bought it without paying attention who thought it would help with grooming.  I just thought it was one of the funniest things I’d ever heard of, and that was long before I knew anything about omegaverse fic.  Can you imagine something like that in a traditional a/b/o story? XD  I still think about that product every so often (no idea if they even still make anything like that), and wanted to share the hilarity.

Wow, just realized that it’s like 3am.  Jesus, I’ve been rambling a while.  But I think that was everything?  Anyway I’m going to attempt to go to bed, and pretend I didn’t just write more almost porn.  (There’s a quote from the movie Noises Off! [another fave, highly recommend if you’ve not seen it], where a character is referring to her ability to remember lines, and says “Well, it’s like a slot machine up here.” *gestures vaguely at her head* “I, I open my mouth, and I never know what’s going to come out; three oranges, or two lemons and a banana."  And I feel like that’s an accurate description of my posting style.)

For the FC I do, for teenage Claudia: Davina Claire (but imagine the brown eyes)

For Adult Claudia the actress Joey Honsa: 

And for Claudia’s dad (I’m not awake enough to copy Miech’s name fully): Gary Oldman

And Julio Delgado: Santiago Calbrera

Fucking tumblr... I had entire sections typed out during work but my phone freaked out and now it’s gone and I can retype it all over a again... am angry >:( 

Anyway, yeah I’m doing a lot better, ac’s on, I got drinks and shit. And I’m trying to rock my Reese’s pieces tank with Harry Potter booty shorts.

I’m gonna try and answer the most important things I wrote down and work from there. 

And now I can look forward to imagining John’s ghost lovingly Gibbs-smacking the three of them upside the head any time they start getting angsty about how the other two feel.  

There was a lot of Gibbs-smacking back when John was watching over them. Although he made sure to never freak out Chris and instead go for the ‘abby kisses’ on the temple and forehead whenever Chris did the right thing or was particularly vulnerable.

I also have this headcanon that John took care of Allison and Jackson for the first week or two because Chris just couldn’t. He felt alone at almost 18, just went through pure hell to deliver two babies he doesn’t really know. He loves them, he does, he’s just-, he doesn’t know how to feel. So John steps in and teaches him how to be a parent. It takes a bit of time but by the time Jackson and Allison are a week old, Chris is fully on board and would die for them in a heartbeat. And John just looks at him with this pride in his eyes and kisses his forehead. “I’m proud of you.” It’s the first time Chris hears that from a father figure.

And having a visual for him now makes me think of the flashback in Ch.6 where he was treating their injuries, wondering if he and Mieczyslaw ever did go to have a “chat” with Elias, if there was a specific event that lead to that particular incident between Chris, Noah, and Elias, and where Peter was during all that (and who kept him from “helping” his father with his visit)?

This I will address in the prequel, and maybe a very short teaser flashback.

And I was going to close this story with a wedding, a honeymoon, and a pack run at the end. ^^ And holy shit the panties idea is fucking golden.

I could not focus on my work today XD. What an image please do give me more if you think of them ^^. It’s a lovely idea to have Chris and Noah dressed in lacy triskelion panties while having Peter ‘bound’ in a chair. They’re making out, they’re all having fun. And Peter’s hard, like he’s trying so hard to be a good boy for them but holy shit if they keep making out like that, all bets are off. What a fantastic image. Although probably not the best when trying to work XD. (I don’t mind.)

Actually, that also reminds me, we know that Derek has a triskelion tattoo, do you think Peter does as well?  Or gets one at some point?  Do you think Noah or Chris would ever get one, as a sign of pack loyalty, since the Hales are the ones that took them in when their own families cast them out?  (And also, that’s definitely a mark that’s not going to fade away, but also does not carry the risk of accidental turning.)  Where would any of them have/get them?

He do! All the Hales do, it’s a coming off age thing for the wolves and some humans get them as well to show solidarity with their wolf siblings.

John had a tattoo on his left pectoral. His wife Kathryn had hers on her right shoulder. Nathaniel had one between his shoulder blades out of solidarity to his wolf brethren. (He was born human). Talia had hers on the right side of her abdomen just above her hip bone. Merlia had a tramp stamp triskelion. Peter has his over his heart. (The top of the spiral can be seen peeking through some of his deeper v-necks.)

 Laura had hers on her left shoulder. Derek has his between the shoulder blades in honor of his oldest uncle. Chris gets his on his left pectoral after he’s had his youngest child. (In honor of John) Noah gets his on his right pectoral as a mirror image after he’s had his youngest twins. (They talked about it before hand where they’d get them.)

Malia gets hers on her left wrist. Stiles on his right wrist in solidarity. Both of them on the inside. Jackson gets his just below his right collarbone. Allison gets hers just below her left collarbone. Ben gets his on his left arm when he’s old enough.

Not sure about the others but it’ll come to me.

Can you imagine something like that in a traditional a/b/o story? XD  I still think about that product every so often (no idea if they even still make anything like that), and wanted to share the hilarity.

I am wheezing. That’d be so fucking funny XD Anti-Alpha! Alpha be gone! Spray the horny away! (Okay I’ll stop.)

But now I am imagining Stiles making a prank like that where he just gives his pops (Noah) a spray bottle for christmas that says: Spray the horny away! And has a photoshopped picture of Peter on it with a red cross through it.

They have a good laugh about it.