#and goddammit he’s trying. he’s trying
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
a-substantial-trash-pile · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
Catalyst
so in my au which i'm totally not using to cope or anything haha, after realizing that curly isn't going to do anything about jimmy, anya confides in swansea and he goes Protective Dad Mode. i'm calling this the "Responsibility AU." ramble below cut.
swansea doesn't immediately go after jimmy with an axe or anything because 1. they're not in a high stress life/death crash situation and 2. anya specifically requests that swansea not enact violence upon jimmy after swansea says, and i quote, "i'm gonna beat his ass." anya just wants to feel safer and more supported on the ship—she doesn't want swansea to get in trouble even if jimmy does deserve to get destroyed by 10000 punches.
what swansea can do is watch out for anya and make sure she's never alone in a room with jimmy. if there's a situation where she has to be alone with jimmy (like the psych evals), she and swansea have a system where she can signal for help. with anya's permission, swansea asks daisuke to help look out for her too (without telling him the details as to why since that's anya's right to share or not). daisuke has already picked up at this point that something is wrong based on how much more hostile swansea's become towards jimmy, and he trusts his boss, so he agrees without much question.
anya, feeling less alone now that she has people watching her back, gains more confidence to stand up to jimmy. which makes him angry because his unwanted advances are being denied and swansea and daisuke keep getting in his way. he just can't understand why he's being treated as the bad guy here (this is because he is a delusional asshole).
meanwhile curly is slowly realizing that he needs to actually do something here because the tension in the crew is palpable and increasing by the day. also swansea is being mighty passive aggressive to him and talking about "responsibility" a lot. curly keeps trying to talk to jimmy about it but the guy just keeps downplaying it and blaming everyone else but himself. and curly is realizing that his friend isn't who he thought he was.
it all comes to a head one day when an angry jimmy tries to confront anya alone and swansea steps in. things get heated, people start yelling. curly show up to see swansea and jimmy on the verge of fighting with anya and daisuke trying to hold them back respectively. curly breaks up the fight. jimmy storms off. curly follows him and finds him trying to get the gun from the case in the cockpit. curly asks him why he's doing this and jimmy claims it's for his own protection because he feels "threatened by swansea." he tells curly to give him the code. curly, the sheer wrongness of the whole situation hitting him, finally calls jimmy out on all his bs. jimmy just laughs in his face, still believing that he's not in the wrong and curly doesn't have the guts to do anything anyway. so the captain fires him on the spot. jimmy snaps and he and curly get into a fight in the cockpit. jimmy is trying to crash the ship and curly is trying to stop him. then the rest of the crew show up and anya knocks jimmy's ass out with the gun case. swansea is so proud.
they throw jimmy in the cryopod so they don't have to worry about him pulling anything else and he can be properly dealt with once the stupid delivery is over. everyone's like, "wow that was a close one—could you imagine how messed up it would be if we ended up in a crash because of jimmy? thank god that didn't happen." curly makes swansea the copilot until they can get a replacement and swansea's like, "goddammit as if i don't already do enough shit around here."
anyway my whole goal here was to get rid of jimmy early so i can have beautiful Found Family shenanigans in space with the rest of the crew. apologies and healing and happy times will happen. no the whole getting laid off thing doesn't happen. no i don't have an explanation for it. sorry for the essay.
309 notes · View notes
generalidiocy · 1 day ago
Text
Escape From The Vault thoughts
I know I'm a couple days late, but I'm gonna try and recreate my thought processes watching the dnd stream cause I need to yell into the void (please yell back I love conversations)
basslines basslines basslines! I knew Luke played bass but didn't know he was that good, wow
yay jockey boy! oh no... oh no jockey boy!
wap tentacle... great
"i used to have doors in my house... back when I lived" - there's so many instances of Fullset being bizarre, but this one tickles me
"how do you know my name" "it says SNAKEHIPS in giant letters across the door" - classic joke, perfect, no notes
Juliet Caesar cameo! I think...
she does magic for a fee, old lady margery
sam just playing all his classics this time around - @.meneatyoghurt made the same point but she's right
the unrelenting aubergine is the best name for a warhammer
royal andre - let's not call him prince andre though, that name just sounds wrong to me now /lh
"i bought these in a shop :-] :-] :-]"
"you've always wanted to be capteeeuuuurrreeedd"
tom knows what a skylight is, sam does not
why are these title cards so eerie
round of applause to Teo and Sam for the music and visuals, fucking brilliant
"things are heating up" "press A"
Love/Brother Face Eldritch Blast
"Tell me how you feel about the Jews!!!"
Andre and Andrew are the sweetest, if we see Andre again I hope he has his Andrew with him, too
"I used to be a trapeze artist"
that description of a dead hare made me so sad...
also leftenmost mc and david being dead in this hurt me a lot more than it should have
fullset beating the other two to the second body lol
"entering the astral plane" - in case you didn't get the reference
"are you having a non-canon adventure?"
sam knew what he was doing ending the first half with "Where's Jeremiah"
also why didn't bubba die from the fall? i don't want him to be dead, but he seemed absolutely fine considering he just fell 60 feet
andre beetroot being friends with bubba was a nice combo
"ok that's a different thing" i really hoped they wouldn't make "pressing A" an innuendo... but ofc they did /aff
yes, homosexuality is the link between these characters (twas funny, but came out of left field for me lol)
again, what's with the creepy title cards?
andre and bubba again!
"are you saying that you weigh less than 10 pounds?"
andre can't fight but we love him
snakehips being badass as usual
"RUN" followed up with a highly non-threatening "flee :-)" took me out
"the gm should've given these characters higher armour classes"
"tell me how you feel about the Jews!" the sequel
Troll Son!
"a dock, as in, boat boat" - perfect definition, well done margery
"that's *strictly* non- canon"
goddammit I got really excited to see Persephone then we ran out of time
sweethearts sweethearts sweethearts!
this was such a great tribute to the iconic characters we know and love, and we all had fun watching it I'm sure. Sam was an amazing DM, and AJ, Tom, Luke and Teo all did phenomenally as usual
anyway, ramblings over, just needed to scream about this for a bit
16 notes · View notes
miss-morland · 1 year ago
Text
dennis in dtamhd is so bpd recovery coded i feel so much about it <333333
25 notes · View notes
rwyvernarts · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Man and his eldritch god worm friend
-Giratina remains hidden from other people, with its presence only evident in the questionably-alive nature of its host and his slow, unchanging pulse.
-of course, this pact is founded on keeping Ingo alive until he gets home. This is directly in opposition to a universe that actively tries to kill him, so things are bound to derail now and then. Fatal illness or injury? Giratina’ll fix that up within… a few weeks. Bear with it it’s learning the intricacies of the human body.
-Giratina may have a somewhat intangible presence, but it is still a foreign Thing and sometimes Ingo’s body tries to get rid of it, without success.
-but sometimes it all works out and the two operate as one. Although Ingo’s health is slowly declining in the long run, Giratina is able to provide internal support and keep him going no matter what.
282 notes · View notes
whohasthecards · 8 months ago
Text
What if Hangman has a shitty family, right? Sure, he had a relatively happy childhood, but they weren't happy with his career choices.
A day before an important mission, he visits them. Hangs around with his mom, messes with his siblings, plays with his nephews and nieces, and even talks to his dad a bit.
His dad got pissed though, and asked him why the hell is he crawling back.
Hangman was tense before he simply said that he wanted to spend some time with them. He left a bit after that, his dad scoffing at his son's typical behavior.
Hangman gets shot down on the mission.
When James Seresin opens the door, it's to two Naval officers in dress uniform. A Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and a Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, with grim expressions asking if they can come in, and if Jake's sister is here.
James, his wife, his daughter, and his son, all sit on the sofa, as the two men explain that Lieutenant Jacob "Hangman" Seresin was shot down in active combat, no parachute, no possible chance of rescue, no body, declared missing in action, presumed dead. They are sorry for their loss.
"The kid was a good man, a good friend, if only I had more time," Mitchell would say evenly. "You're lucky to have had Hang-- Jake as a son."
"He talked about you guys, a lot," Bradshaw would say softly.
James couldn't believe it, he just saw his son a few days ago, right?
141 notes · View notes
steelthroat · 9 months ago
Text
I have the OC, but I have a problem... how do I turn this:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Into this:
Tumblr media
How do toy designers come up with this stuff anyway??????
76 notes · View notes
ohmigoshiloveu · 2 months ago
Text
Okay so like. I still haven't managed to get myself to finish episode 9, so I don't fully know how Theo's glow up finishes, but regardless I fucking love relistening to Emizel's section of episode 1 and like. Fuck man Theo does a lot of growing. Like he's a little bit pathetic at the beginning of the series. He's so, so brave during the alleyway fight, but he sounds shaky and scared and like a sopping wet pathetic baby the entire time. Charlie specifically describes him as not very alert, not a great fighter, and gives him this little moment where it takes him a second to manage to crush a soda can. He botches the check to beat Emizel in Smash Bros so there's a chance he sucks at the related skills (dexterity and computers I think?), but also after he loses Charlie specifically has him sound super frustrated and conclude that he should've 'stayed in his lane'. When Emizel says 'We'll do what we do best,' and Theo immediately responds with 'drink soda?' so fast that the other players notice it. Charlie might've had that as a predetermined character thing. Theo drinks soda. There's not much else to him.
Which creates this interesting dynamic between him and Emizel, because Emizel is so much better at him at all of these skills that the people around them (a FUCKING GANG) value. Emizel's perceptive, and agile, and strong, and a great fucking fighter irl and in videogames AND he always sounds badass. He's the top dog, the apex predator in their social circle. And I think that colors their relationship a lot? Like Theo has to look up to Emizel. I bet that Theo's looked up to Emizel since they first met, maybe Emizel came crashing into his life doing something epic and Theo thought it was the greatest shit ever.
On the flip side, I was getting a few hints of resentment? Hear me out! It's that 'should have just stayed in my lane' line. He's painfully aware how great Emizel is, compared to how much he's (from his perspective!) just a one trick pony. He's here to drink soda and say funny things, that's all most people want from him and he fucks up whenever he tries to do anything else!
And later in the segment Theo snarkily brings up a medicine check that Emizel had just fucked up in like this super backhanded, super passive aggressive way. That could be him wanting to rub Emizel's one singular fuck up in his face (especially because Theo was having a Moment about how he feels like people only see him as the soda guy, so any feelings of inadequacy would've been dialed up to eleven, so if there was any time for him to resent Emizel it'd be then), but it could also be that he was frustrated with Emizel being an ass (Emizel had just guessed that Theo's dream was to be a nurse, which was flat out wrong, and that's literally what set up the backhanded comment. Theo was saying something like 'thank fuck you don't wanna be a nurse cuz you sure fucked up with nursing that guy earlier.' It could also be that Emizel literally almost forgot Theo's name. Theo literally gave him the 'th' sound, it might've just been a bit Charlie was doing or it could've been Theo being AWARE that Emizel almost forgot his name. Or! It could be that in this moment, where Theo was confiding in Emizel about feeling like being the soda guy was all anyone ever saw in him, Emizel said something to the affect of 'well yeah Soda's the fun one.' Emizel doesn't think before he speaks and literally has a 1 in empathy. Just because he loves Theo doesn't mean he's not gonna blunder into being a complete and utter asshole to him. I'd hazard to say Emizel accidentally being an ass to people he cares about is a running theme).
But also all of that might come down to Charlie still getting the character down. Or, because I've theorized before that Theo might not've been supposed to survive the first Gabriel fight, the little hints of bitterness might've been intentional (even if they were completely improvved and Charlie didn't mean to add that to Theo's character) because Charlie was trying to shove as much character into this character before he was gone, but once it became clear that Theo was going to stick around longer he dropped it. As far as I remember, that bitterness is completely gone in all later interactions we see with Theo. OR! It could be that the bitterness drops because they've both got bigger fish to fry from that point onward, what with Theo's Shilo Incident TM, Emizel's vampirism, the Weylin twins. He doesn't have time to be bitter, he's too busy worrying about losing a cornerstone of his identity or helping his best friend adjust to being a fucking vampire now. And then after he learns to live without soda that basically negates his feelings of inadequacy- like, getting over the idea that he's nothing if he's not the soda guy would be required for him to give up on being the soda guy. And then Emizel would drift back into JUST being a guy to aspire to instead of also being a reminder of Theo's short comings, and then drift even further down into being 'guy who is actually going through it and has to overcome his own demons just like I had to overcome mine'. Like, I think we got to watch Theo slowly start to take Emizel off this pedestal in real time (he still definitely thinks Emizel's hot shit tho. Emizel's his boy, after all.)
Regardless, even if Theo did resent Emizel a little in the beginning, it's so fucking clearly overshadowed by how much he fucking loved him. And like, how could he not? Imagine you're Theo, critically low self esteem, and the literal coolest guy you know fucking LOVES you. Like, Emizel keeps consistently going out of his way to pull Theo up to his level and to treat him as an equal (mostly. Sometimes protectiveness bleeds through, like in his hypothetical fang scenario in ep 1 where he predicts there being five Fangs to fight and he says he can take three and Theo can take two (which in itself is still incredibly kind to Theo. Like, boy, you thought Theo was gonna be able to take out two whole guys? Hell no.) But that could also be chalked up to Emizel just being a cocky ass who wants to show off). Like dude, c'mon. Emizel might be a reminder of everything that Theo's not, but he's also probably Theo's biggest cheerleader. He wholeheartedly thought he was being supportive when he said he thought Theo'd make a great nurse! In all seriousness, though, even if it ultimately discourages him, Theo playing that Smash game against Emizel was at least a little bit of proof of him decidedly not 'staying in his lane,' and Emizel seems to inspire that! Later in that segment he challenges Theo to see which of them can break one of the Fangs kneecaps first! I bet Emizel challenged him to stupid competitions a lot, and that got Theo fired up and competitive in return!
And even when Emizel's not building Theo up, he's still giving Theo special attention, or readily receiving any attention Theo gives him. If nothing else, even at his lowest points that might've made Theo feel cool by association.
On Emizel's part, I think he's like, possibly completely oblivious to any turmoil Theo's going through? Like he thinks Theo's the shit and genuinely sees him as an equal. I'm 99% sure that Theo being his right hand man happened because Theo would've put himself into the role (in episode one before he gets all of his character development he's pretty much always looking to Emizel for what to do, and still more or less does whatever he says up to where I'm at in the series, with refusing to leave the alleyway being the only exception I remember). I think if Theo'd had higher self esteem or been less eager to defer to Emizel, Emizel would've happily gone about his business slotting Theo into more of a partner role. He tells Theo to run from that alleyway because Theo'd taken a fucking devastating hit and Emizel was sure he could handle himself, not because he knows Theo sucks at fighting. He tries to turn Theo into a cool vampire. He convinces Shilo that Theo'll be a valuable asset to raiding the Weylin warehouse and they take Theo with them instead of having him stay behind with the car like Grefgore, despite Theo being the one who actually knows how to drive. He tells Theo about being a vampire even though he keeps it a secret from everyone else, confides in Theo that 'yeah he might absolutely be susceptible to going into a frenzy like Shilo did.'
When you get down to it, Emizel pretty much tells Theo everything he would think is relevant, with two notable exceptions. Maybe three if you count him not telling Theo he has nine lives like a cat but tbh I think he might've just forgot. Or maybe he gets to it later, or maybe he did tell him and I forgot! idk man! But! Those other two things. First off, he like. Pointedly does not tell Theo that he's a prince. Like when they were doing the recap on the way to the Weylin warehouse, there's like. Charlie gives Condi an opening to say it, a little 'is there anything else?' and Emizel just. Doesn't. And the second one is that (at least where I'm at) Emizel never comes clean about bloodbonding Theo. Maybe it just hasn't come up yet, but still. It fits a pattern of Emizel not wanting to admit something that makes him, like, ABOVE Theo somehow. He sees Theo as an equal, and a precious one at that, he doesn't want things to get weird between them because he's literal royalty, and he doesn't want Theo's life to literally revolve around him like it would under a level three blood bond- and doesn't want to admit that he even considered it, even if he did it without really understanding what it was.
And Emizel backing off from ghoulifying Theo after Arthur explains what it actually entails kinda leads into a far more headcanon-y relationship analysis thing so um. Feel free to skip the next paragraph.
So! Like. Why the fuck was Emizel so attached to Theo being Soda. Like he gets over it decently quick, cuz that's his buddy and it's what Theo wants, so like. Whatever. But like, if I'm right about Theo always looking up to Emizel from the moment they met, there might've been some wiggle room between when they first became friends and when Theo became Soda. And like, before Theo became Soda, being Emizel's buddy would probably be the only thing he'd feel he had going for him? Which would've made it even harder for Emizel to get them both on equal footing, and I think that's just... really unappealing to him. Like! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Emizel loves having people kiss up to him and respect him and blah blah blah, I just think Theo being his boy and Emizel treating him like a partner go hand in hand. Either they weren't best friends yet or Emizel was just. Kind of uncomfortable and eager to push Theo into growing into something more than a hypeman. And then the soda incident occurs, and it gives Theo SOMETHING to define himself by, something people like him and know him for that's got nothing to do with Emizel, and maybe the initial soda incident was bad, but having that sense of identity and falling into what kind've feels like a class clown kinda role might've helped get Theo over his self esteem issues long enough for Emizel to go 'oh you're actually super cool. sweet.' and then blah blah blah they get super close like they are in canon. And then whenever Theo seems like he's backsliding into what he was before the soda incident, Emizel tries to course correct not because he doesn't think Theo's any fun without soda, but because he's made the mental connection that Soda without soda turns into less of a best friend and more of a follower, which as stated before he probably really doesn't want from Theo specifically. but idk. pure conjecture here.
Anyways, above all else, Theo's important to Emizel. I really, really like the idea that Theo was supposed to be like a brother to him (which. Again pointing at my 'Theo was supposed to die in episode 1' theory, can you IMAGINE the angst Emizel could've had about that? Lose one brother and then someone else claiming to be your brother shows up? It would've felt like some hellish, not-worth-it trade. Like a betrayal, like accepting Shilo might mean replacing Theo, and how could he ever?)
And Emizel's important to Theo! But unlike Emizel (who I'm 99% sure is gonna have some kinda moment with Theo but I genuinely cannot see him loving Theo in any other way than the way he does now), Theo has the bonus of having his view of Emizel have a clear trajectory to evolve over the course of the campaign. Like I said, he seems to be getting more confidence in himself and like, not gonna get into the stuff I've had spoiled beyond episode 9 but it seems like Theo's gonna get a lot more comfortable being a proper leader and not just a number two. He's gonna have an easier time seeing Emizel as an equal, and I think that's fucking awesome!
I could be completely off base, but if I never watch another episode then I'll never be proven wrong. So. Ya know.
#jrwi the suckening#emizel tucker#jrwi emizel tucker#jrwi soda#jrwi theo collins#theo collins#suckening thoughts#fizzfangs#jrwi the suckening spoilers#I also personally headcanon that Theo might've been like the first person to think Emizel was cool. Like. okay hang on.#I think Emizel didnt get a lot of attention growing up and learned to act out to get peoples eyes on him. Which fixed the first issue but#created a new one where all attention he got was negative attention#and then younger Theo who still feels painfully mediocre (in a way that TOTALLY wouldnt tie into him being neurodivergent adhd in canon)#and Theos getting negative attention without even trying. maybe its because his grades suck. Maybe he gets distracted or fidgety and gets#detention from being disruptive or for being accidentally disrespectful and Emizels also in detention because he blew up all the school#toilets and flooded the building. and more importantly Emizel is EMBRACING the negative attention that Theo cant seem to avoid#And it makes Emizel seem really fucking cool and Theo thinks hes really fucking epic and starts following him around and hyping him up#and then its genuinely the most positive attention Emizels ever gotten and he fucking eats it up. it pushes him to show off and go bigger#and it also gets Theo a very very special place in Emizel's heart. its just that Theo being kinda mediocre makes it really hard to hype#him up back the same way. Except- ya know- Theo fucking loves soda so Emizel can insta-win at positive social interaction if he keeps soda#on him#its like one of those kids who give out candy because they dont know how to make friends#Emizel give Theo soda because he genuinely doesn't have a frame of reference for a wholey positive relationship yet#and then whatever the soda incident is kinda just solidifies it. He's his boy Soda! Soda's his thing! Emizel loves him so much!#idk man this is all headcanon territory im just going insane am i even making sense rn#goddammit this might age like milk i have GOT to finish the suckening so i can brainrot properly
20 notes · View notes
akkivee · 1 year ago
Text
my hypster magazine finally came in the mail lmao and man the special feature talking about how the world is coping without mics is very interesting??? like:
crime as a whole is at an all time high
within ikebukuro, the police are doing fck all about it so the bb have volunteered their services to making the civilians feel safe
ichiro’s been a mediator within more casual disputes, expressing his desire to talk things thru if possible, jiro’s got his whole high school as a neighbourhood watch and saburo’s set up a huge surveillance system to keep watch
in yokohama, the sea port has been particularly targeted and the report says the police and yakuza have teamed up to protect the flow of commerce. katengumi has stepped up to protect the territory and rio is keeping watch via satellite images and drones
in shibuya, dice complains of disruptions in gambling dens and the lack of real gambling has dulled his senses lol. he’s trying to compensate by making his own gambling game lol and he hasn’t been able to pay his phone bill due to lack of funds so he hasn’t been able to talk to ramuda or gentaro
curiously, neither of those two were mentioned in the article, save for dice using the section to try to reach out to them
in shinjuku, the day is desolate and the night scene is busier than ever. doppo’s company has been particularly hit by logistics nightmares as they’re haemorrhaging money due to lost medical equipment. (doppo’s boss has been accusing him of stealing funds and doppo claps back asking what exactly has he been managing currently lol)
shinjuku central hospital has been at full capacity with patients due to the inability to fend off armed criminals. fragrance has seen a significant uptick in patrons
in osaka, businesses have taken a sharp turn towards maliciousness, with scams at an all time high. sasara and rosho advise not to go out at night alone, and rosho, as a teacher, further explains that adults have a duty to protect minors, especially as a person who has been affected by scams in the past. neither sasara nor rosho have heard from rei in a long while, stating dh is on hiatus because of it
in nagoya, petty crimes are up because there seems to be a restlessness amongst them without the mics giving the populace the power to stand out. hitoya himself watched a dude climb up nagoya castle literally for the memes. the court of law has been barren as of late so nobody is being tried for crimes but he believes justice will prevail in due time
kuukou and jyushi have taken up patrolling nagoya in order to persuade others into not doing crimes and all three of them still practice rap battling together
92 notes · View notes
sleepy-bear-tm · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Do you see the vision?
41 notes · View notes
sol-consort · 3 months ago
Text
ik I'm supposed to hate director Tann but he is so
Tumblr media
7 notes · View notes
agni-ashes · 2 years ago
Text
so i watched jimmy’s finale and uh. i’m thinking. so. since the old sheriff started treating sheriff jimmy like a kid/teenager i’m like. what if sheriff jimmy was legit a child. so when the revealing potion revealed that he’s short it’s not that he’s a toy it’s that he’s a literal child. idk but now i’m thinking that if sheriff jimmy was like idk 10 years old and ooh hoo hoo hoo i’m crying now. how much has he done?? how much responsibility has he taken, that little guy built an empire and made deals and took a stand against all these powerful adults who made fun of him and beat him down sometimes and rejected him and refused to believe that he was strong, that he was capable, that he was a good sheriff. and he still did his best. and. oh my god. they gave him a kid- he had to take care of his new charge- and he himself was just a kid. i’m going to cry.
140 notes · View notes
gnp-sara · 1 year ago
Text
If you know, you know
Tumblr media
59 notes · View notes
nejackdaw · 3 months ago
Text
Thinking about Celann and his ever present grief at the life he could have had, he and his wife and (he always hoped) their daughter. A life where he was a father--he'd hardly ever wanted anything more than that. So full of love he was ready to burst and needed somewhere to put it, wanted a life with his favorite girls.
Thinking about how the ever present desire haunts him no matter how deep he buried it. It keeps coming back, relentlessly, this anguish that he threw it all away. He could have had exactly what he wanted and he was stupid enough to abandon it all, and for what? Because he was upset? But then he always remembers how hollow he felt after the incident, like if you rapped him with a knuckle you'd hear he was just a shell. He forgives himself, then, remembers how wrong everything felt, and he thinks about all the time he spent desperately trying to make everything feel right again.
Remembers when he realized he was the problem, what needed to be fixed. Removed.
He abandoned the life he had and every dream he'd ever held close because he wasn't him anymore. Celann would never have killed anyone, would never have done... that. He was some other Celann, different, trying to make himself fit in the life of a man that no longer existed. And so he left.
And he has no right to ache so badly at the thought of what he gave up, no right to ache at the loss of a family (of two families, but he starts thinking that and breaks every time, so he's gotten good at simply skipping over the thought) when he was a killer--an adept one, a practiced one--that could mangle and maul and kill and do it again and again. What right does he have to still want that happy little dream?
But the dream is a ghost and it haunts him, is there every time he's out on a supply run and sees kids playing around the marketplace, sees women cradling infants and fathers carrying sons on their shoulders. (He reminds himself of the blood on his hands, is scared he might stain them with it if he reaches out to touch them.) It's there when he has a bag and his axe hanging from his hips and finds a girl crying for her mother, lost and separated, jostled by the crowd.
It's there as he calms her, kneeling on wet and gritty stone, hovering between her and the flow of the crowd so they give her space. He lifts her and holds her against his side with one arm and something in him weeps, feels something soft in him as her tiny weight settles and she starts chattering at him about the groceries she and her mother came to buy.
They weave their way through the marketplace as they help each other--she tells him where he can find what he needs, and he silently curses the nords and their height as he tries to peer over shoulders to catch a glimpse of the woman she described--and that cold weight that's usually settled in his chest, his grief and remorse, lightens with every step. She's warm through his sweater and splutters indignantly every time the ever changing wind blows her brown hair into her mouth and he laughs, quiet and warm.
They check places she's already been, in case her mother doubled back looking for her, and take detours so Celann can fumble to place newly acquired groceries in the bag beneath her, unwilling to hold her over the side with his axe and equally unwilling to put her down, awkwardly shifting her weight as she laughs at him. He's silly for buying such expensive things, she tells him, and he light heartedly tells her Skyrim is silly for not having the things he used to use in High Rock. The revelation he hasn't always lived in Skyrim excites her to no end, and the rest of the trip is a Q&A of the sort only a small child can provide.
He feels warm inside, in his chest, where usually he feels vaguely cold at best, and for a moment he's reluctant to relinquish her when they finally find her mother, guided by the sounds of panicked calls of her name. There's a fond sadness as he sets her down on the stones again, and the woman looks at him oddly for a moment before the look turns knowing, though he's sure the conclusion she reached is slightly off.
She quietly asks if her daughter reminds him of her. He stands there silently for a moment, looking down at the little girl as she rifles through the things her mother's found.
He tells her yes.
#celann#fucking girldad#guy who wants small house white picket fence and 2.5 kids forced to become a murderer#cant live with the guilt and horror and becomes a man he cannot recognize in the mirror more at 6#me thinking about this last night: he uses Adult Privileges to be tall and look out over the crowd#me writing this: his short ass cant see over everyone else#its fine enough when hes just in the fort like usual but then theres a crowd and hes like goddammit#anyway he has to go get his fancy ingredients because NO you CAN use that but it doesnt TASTE RIGHT#and so he has been banished to specifically get his own goddamn groceries#celann: im a cold blooded killer and i can never atone for the atrocities i have committed. i am incapable of good#also celann: 💞💞💞😊😊😊#the loss of self after the incident really fucked him up he doesnt know who he is#he keeps trying to categorize himself and neatly file himself away but the fact remains#he is both the old celann and a new one simultaneously#however he feels tainted by his actions and thinks of the Before as like a purer time and he is not a pure man#so CLEARLY he is not AT ALL the old celann and those good traits are gone#anyway he goes soft when theres kids just absolutely melts#like the only guy in the dg that can be trusted to watch a small child#also in case it wasnt clear when the mother akss 'does she remind you of her' shes assuming his daughter is dead#shes asking if her daughter reminds him of his own#delivering your typical celann angst and remembering when i said i should write happy things for him#unfortunately this has not happened yet the happy things just happen in my mind
6 notes · View notes
sleepy-crypt1d · 11 months ago
Text
it's so disappointing when almost all handsome jack fanart is inaccurate :(( like, people just blatantly ignoring very Important character design details. It happens in fics too, where people will simply ignore basic details about his design.
Specifically, here, im referencing 1. him being brown and 2. him being disfigured and disabled.
If you actually look at his models, you can very much tell he's Not White and barely anyone draws him with his real skin tone!!! everyday i see so many cool pieces of fan merch or fanart and then im like 'oh nope he's a different color nevermind'
and then on top of making him paper white they'll draw him with this small shaky line across his face when, in canon, he was disfigured so heavily he needed to get a prosthetic face. that and HE'S HALF BLIND!!! HE LOST AN EYE!! IT WAS SET ON FIRE????
it's gross seeing people completely ignore his accurate injuries to try and make him the stereotypical Sexy Man with Clear White Skin
i know that most people probably dont know that jack is half blind but if you look at his unmasked face, he very clearly is! whether his mask has a cover up eye, or he's wearing a glass eye, or its cybernetics is never explained but when he takes his mask off his left eye is gone/scarred over! and the vault scar has severely carved into his face!!! you can SEE how deep it digs in!! barely anyone draws him like that :((
his mask isnt just covering some dainty little scrape, it's a prosthetic that aids his disability! that AND HE'S FUCKING BROWN.
EDIT: AND HE HAS GRAY HAIR!!! THAT BITCH IS AGING!!!! SHOW IT YOU COWARDS!!!!
26 notes · View notes
graham--folger · 1 year ago
Text
“arthur, you’re my—“ WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE END OF THAT SENTENCE WHAT THE FUCK WAS IT
22 notes · View notes
jekyllnahyena · 7 months ago
Text
so.
learned about rosquez
what the everloving fuck
14 notes · View notes