#and give us a goddamn romance option

[whizzing-fizzbee]

I will Solomon Sallow anyone who tries to take my little world from me.

Every time someone suggests HL2 be about Dumbledore, Harry, or the Marauders just know I am planning your disappearance.

[vaguely-concerned]

Happy Grace/Pan Vibes For The Soul

"How can I, with you in the way?"/"(Laughs) The floor is yours!"

First of all I'm honestly just so charmed by how genuinely delighted Pan seems to be at watching Grace finding her voice and learning to enjoy using her power, I think that's where I started to take a shine to him. (also seems quite central to his character/romance in general because it's a thing that recurs through their relationship -- he tells her "I'm enjoying it if you're enjoying it" straight out at one point and that's definitely always there in the subtext). He buys a music studio for her just in case she ever wants to return to making music again even when she's not the muse anymore just because he loves her singing and has seen it make her happy before, how is that not the sweetest goddamn thing in the world??? Pan and Oracle in shared first place as stans for Grace musically

For real though, 'I Can Teach You' is sooo... even when you don't join forces with him Pan teaches Grace so many things in that song, it's a thematic tutorial as well as a gameplay one in many ways. For me I think the most impactful subtexts are 'This is a tricky situation, change is here and it's difficult, but you have more control and agency here than you think' ("You're in control!" "It's your song!"), and this sense that, y'know... there can be joy and playfulness and discovery in setting out into the unknown, not just fear and uncertainty.

dude... I wanna be in cahoots with & sing playful duets with you for the rest of my life bro (amorous intent)

Pros: Hell yeah look at her go! 🥰

Cons: Uh-oh look at her go! 😬

I love that Grace can bring Pan's motif into 'Challenging A Queen' and be called the fuck out by Persephone btw. why u keepin' your guard up girl uwu

'you gave up the only thing worth having -- for your little mortal friend' he says, giving up everything for his little once-again-mortal friend literally the next day fhsdkjfhsad who are you fooling buddy? not even yourself at this point surely??? (dialogue for if you save Freddie by giving up the eidolon)

my observations on the grace/pan dynamic across the different personality traits (yes I've done a run of each romancing him I am normal about it):

Clever!Grace: Pan seems to set out to be a trickster mentor of sorts, and Clever!Grace flips the uno reverse card on him and goes ‘Not if I trickster mentor you first bitch be honest about your feelings or perish challenge engage’. Probably the most birds of a feather combination (and indeed it’s the Blue version of the soundtrack that shows off his romance — also his tie and glasses are on the cover for that one :) ). 

Charming!Grace: Performative puppy dog eyes-off whenever either of them wants to get their way. 🥺4🥺. Pan is provably a soft touch from the Charming option to find Persephone before Challenging A Queen so I feel he probably tends to buckle faster but it’s a close thing. Local trickster god completely disarmed by someone being nice to him.

Kickass!Grace: “Be real with me or Imma kick your ass”/”Promise? ;)”/"...>:)"

I am always thinking about the way he steps up in The Trial when romanced (and the way it's the only one where Athena is genuinely shocked and appalled fhskadj). there is something about him that's like... he keeps protesting against 'innocent' and he's probably right haha, but there is certainly an almost fundamental lack of any active malice there that he doesn't fully admit to himself or to grace until this moment. he is doing this for grace, but it is also a confession about something really deep in himself that seems to be very vulnerable for him in its sincerity -- that he really doesn't mean to or more importantly want to cause harm (I don't wanna dance/with blood on my hands). admitting to his own basically good heart finally seems to be the bigger, scarier thing for him, more than facing the prospect of dying. he's experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being known and I for one am so proud of him

"I'm just here for the dance"

the way he sings that just to her and completely changes the meaning of it from what he said with it before, from using it to keep her out to inviting her in...

also can you imagine how badly the kill bill sirens must be going off in Grace's head in all variations of this scene no matter who steps up, considering what happened to Freddie just days before....... oof!

*incensed whisper* are you fucking kidding me with this what am I supposed to do with myself here

love these too

I really like the visual repeats of crossing the pond to the tree and back as a metaphor for them getting closer (or rather, him letting her closer, it is very much His Space). he retreats back there towards the end of 'Share This Dance', and that's the point where Grace puts her foot down and essentially says 'no. you come meet me honestly in the middle this time or this isn't happening'. and in 'The Trial' he does and then some!

I meant what I sang. I'm not a good man. If Athena had taken me up on my offer, the Idols would have been better off But I can try to be better. You make me want to try.

fun fact: if you break up with him after The Trial (YEAH you can still break off the romances at that point! it's wild honestly fsjadk), Grace tells him he should try to be better ‘for himself’ not for her... and he calls that (i.e. himself) ‘not much of an incentive’. My guy don’t make me break out the ‘Have you tried therapy’ prompt again. He takes it very calmly and gracefully under the circumstances but he's also like. quietly resigned and subdued. I tried it once for Science and never will again but there you go I bring my knowledge to this altar of sadness lol

you see the thing is I would forgive him for just about anything too I understand why so many of the characters in-game can't stay mad at him for any length of time

he starts the game by asking her to take his hand and he ends it on asking her to take his hand (and she does)...

:') let's share this dance

[violet-moonstone]

THW Rewrite

More headcannons because I have not been able to stop thinking about this franchise for the past 13 years, and I have over a decade's worth of opinions.

I've already posted some of these ideas but ehh it's fine.

While I enjoyed watching it for the first time, THW was disappointing to me for a variety of reasons. (The music was probably the best out the franchise though, I'll say that) Grimmel didn't reach his full villain potential since the writers used Ruffnut's lack of judgment as his key to success instead of him being a capable strategist. (Also they did my girl so dirty. She may be a dumbass, but she's not an idiot!) I don't like that the dragons left after just 6 years. I don't like that all the riders except for Hiccup and Astrid are just played for laughs instead of shining like they do in RTTE. I don't like whatever the hell Snotlout's obsession with Valka was, and I didn't like Toothless' "romance" with the Light Fury. I hate that even dragons can't escape half-developed romance and a nuclear family as the ultimate character accomplishment.

So here are my edits (looking back, there's quite a bit going on, so it may need to be split into 2 movies or a short TV series)

The time jump happens between movies 2 and 3. (I want a full movie with bearded Hiccup and "Homecoming" does NOT count) 10-15 years have passed, so the riders are about 30-35. Zephyr and Nuffink are either little kids or preteens and are getting to an age where they're starting to train dragons.

Astrid is more rough around the edges like she was in HTTYD 1 and Rob/Dob/RTTE, not just Hiccup's supportive gf/wife. Instead of making her softer, motherhood has made her fiercer because she has more people to protect. Hiccup on the other hand is a doting father and can't say no to the kids if they give him puppy dog eyes: heart melted every time.

Toothless finds his original flock(?)/herd?/murder?/unkindness?/parliament? of Night Furies instead of just one "soulmate". Each can have their own personalities and roles in the group while Toothless is the baby. I think it would be interesting if, like Hiccup, Toothless was quite small compared to his peers - potentially explaining why he was on his own and got separated from the group before meeting Hiccup.

Dagur and Heather are brought into a council meeting as Berserker allies. Hiccup greets them in a way that clarifies things for audience members who haven't watched the show. I suppose Mala would also be in it too. I don't dislike Mala but I hate her and Dagur's relationship. More development needed there.

Gustav should be there too, still very much trying to prove himself as a dragon rider and occasionally messing things up.

In terms of the main plot and villains, I'm not too picky, although I've said before that I'm tired of dragon mind-control being the main villain tool. I'm fine with it if Drago comes back as the villain, but if not, the villain should just be dragon hunters or rival dragon riders who use their dragons for conquering/raiding other settlements.

It can hit pretty much hit the same story beats as before but with better character dynamics.

Make Ruff and Tuff more instrumental to mischief and redirection in a way that helps the plot.

Give Fishlegs more credit for his discoveries and record-keeping about dragons.

Snotlout and Eret are together (or implied to be together if that's the best we can get). Snotlout is also no longer Hiccup's rival - he should be his second in command. They can disagree from time to time, but ultimately, his loyalty is not in question.

Fishlegs and Ruffnut have kids who cause chaos with Zephyr and Nuffink.

It would be cool to include a couple characters from other parts of the world with dragon mythology. I understand that Vikings are white but if we have goddamn flying dragons, there's no reason there can't be visitors from other cultures (who aren't villains).

Ending option 1: The movie can end with the dragons going away, but now they've been with the Berkians for over a decade and it just feels more impactful.

The "there were dragons when I was a boy" line can either be Hiccup talking to his grandson after an even longer time jump, or Nuffink talking to his own kids about Hiccup's adventures.

Ending 2: the Berkians go to The Hidden World with the dragons. Hiccup writes a memoir to leave behind. We hear him reading from it at the beginning and assume that means dragons are going to leave, but it's actually a diversion to make people think dragons are gone so no one tries to look for them.

Ending 3: We accept that HTYYD takes place in a different world so we don't have to explain why dragons don't live among us anymore. The movie ends with Hiccup vowing to make the archipelago safe for all dragons and Nuffink and Zephyr take up the mantle of discovering new dragons. The dragons stay and they all live happily ever after, the end :)

I'm tempted to actually write this as a fanfiction but I already got a lot of writing projects atm. We shall see.

edit: I'm writing it

[geneticcatalyst]

as promised, an exploration of my one pet problem in fandom, or: misinterpretation of jby's first death (ft. zzs)

heres the thing. i occasionally see people reference what seems to be a misconception of the (english translation) text in qi ye. both the fact that its a translation and the metaphorical phrasing make it pretty clear to see why they got the wrong idea, but i firmly believe its still the wrong idea. i am by no means calling the people who got this mixed up dumb or bad, i am simply leaning over their shoulders going 'wait no bestie pls read that again pls read that one more time!!' because this is one of my favorite books and this thing is a key piece of one of my favorite things about it.

i said i was gonna pull screenshots for this post but i think it will be a little while before i get to another reread and i can't ctrl+f the google doc so im just gonna whip this out from memory. if anyone does have this particular passage on hand feel free to pop it in here. the rest of the context/explanations are just from my cursory research, im not chinese or a historian.

cards on the table. the only thing i love more than unhinged gay romances is unhinged platonic soul mates. its catnip to me. i go feral every goddamn time. and i havent stopped losing my mind about zhou zishu and jing beiyuan since that first qi ye scene. what do those guys have going on? not even sure they know but it's A Lot. ive got like 18 other unpublished drafts trying to work that out slash losing my fucking mind at the lengths they go to about each other. that relationship is at the center of both novels even if the spotlight isnt on it. so I admit that my readings are colored a bit by how much i like that they like each other!

which is why im shocked baffled and, ok, lightly salted, to see a few people make the claim that zishu (personally) tortured/killed beiyuan in his first life.

so what the text says is that after helian yi stopped trusting beiyuan (after su qingluan's accidental death), he was basically put to death. but even the emperor has to have a half decent reason to execute someone. the text describes these reasons- ten of them- as zhou zishu's masterpieces. it also refers to them as great shames to beiyuan's standing. what's happening is that helian yi has zishu frame beiyuan for treason or other betrayals against the emperor/the country. it isn't specific as to what, but it doesn't really matter, because its all fake and zishu is really good at his job. so yes, it is fair to say that zishu is the INSTRUMENT of beiyuan's death, but he didn't kill him, he just laid the groundwork.

the text goes on to another slightly confusing line where it says something to the effect of that when each of these accusations were read out in court, each line drew blood from jing beiyuan. that's a metaphor! it's just saying that his reputation was torn apart and ultimately his fate is sealed, despite the phrasing there are no literal injuries happening.

also, i may not have the timeline perfect on this part, but in zishu's introduction in the beginning of the novel, the narration tells us outright that while zishu is partially responsible for beiyuan's death, he was like. cool about it. in what seems to be the first and only time he ever steps out of line or goes against helian yi's command (!), after setting all this up but- if im remembering right- before the news actually breaks in court the next day, zishu warns beiyuan. now this admittedly doesnt do a whole lot because the only other possible option (cut and run) isn't a very good one, but it's the only thing zishu can do. he doesnt have to, but he does it anyway (!). of course beiyuan doesnt even consider doing this, he's stubborn and heartbroken, but he really seems to 1. appreciate the risk zishu took here to try to give him a chance and 2. not hold the whole set up against zishu or take that bit personally.

so what actually happened at the end of beiyuan's first life? he was sent the 3 zhang of white silk. the text does explicitly say this once, but if you're not familiar with the practice it may not click. receiving the white silk from the emperor is what happens when you're too high ranking to execute like a commoner but you've fallen from grace and are being politely asked to hang yourself in order to clear your name. and of course beiyuan, stubborn and heartbroken, does. yes, it's a forced suicide, but it isn't a murder.

anyway, its in that secret conversation, where zishu secretly meets with beiyuan seemingly to try to convince him to save himself and beiyuan outright refuses, that beiyuan promises that if theres a next life (ha), they'll get drunk together. and of course against all odds, there is and they do.

the thing about the idea that some people might think that zishu killed beiyuan is that after that nothing between them makes sense. even if it was at helian yi's request, i just cant see that not permanently damaging the friendship, i don't think beiyuan could immediately pick back up being best friends in the seventh life with that memory in the way. why would zishu go out of his way to warn beiyuan one day if he was perfectly capable and fine with killing him the next? why would beiyuan not only be happy to meet zishu again in the seventh life but also go out of his way trying to save zishu's? none of their other interactions really make sense if you believe there was a murder done there. idk. it clouds the whole throughline of the story which is that they have a bond!

i think maybe people think it is in character due to the other ruthless murders, and they're not wholly wrong, but that's the kicker for me. zishu will murder all kinds of innocents no questions asked, but he's suddenly trying to give an out to his coworker and drinking buddy? hello? thats insane, and that's the point.

furthermore, if you think maybe it would make sense for helian yi to have beiyuan violently killed (since it keeps fucking happening later), i actually have to become helian yi's lawyer for a moment here and say that that doesnt make sense either. helian yi is sitting on a throne gained by shadowy means but he's the Good Guy Ruler and that reputation is important. hes not a cruel person and he may have become paranoid but he still has a shared history with beiyuan. plus, even the emperor has to abide by a certain amount of decorum when he wants to have people killed, especially when that person is also a high ranking member of court. beiyuan's status is basically second only to the royal bloodline, he's essentially the prev emperor's godson, as well as a previously close confidante of helian yi himself. the white silk was regarded as a privileged, dignified means of offing someone. helian yi is perfectly within social acceptability to do this to beiyuan with the pretext of beiyuan's disgrace. but it would be pushing the boundaries for the good and just emperor to suddenly have one of his top advisors and members of high nobility brutally killed like a common criminal. he could probably do it, but it would reflect on him and his reputation too. he could do it in secret, but would have to cover up the disappearance of a prominent court figure. it just makes sense to use the white silk as the neatest, most acceptable legal justice channel here. maintain emotional detachment, be polite, everybody's honor gets honored and such.

so that's the ted talk. theres even some beautiful fanart on here of white-haired first life beiyuan holding the white silk! he wasn't tortured or outright executed, and he chose to obey rather than escape or fight the false claims of treason even though his friend tried to give him the only out he could manage. to interpret things differently really skews the character motivations and plot for everyone- beiyuan, zishu, helian yi- in a way that warps the story out of believability, imho.

[gon-and-killuas-mother]

realized that we don't have any recent Superman video games??? no, no, don't fucking look at Superman 64, look at me, look into my eyes, leave that nonsense behind.

DC and WB been giving all the games to fucking Batman. like, i'm not complaining about having Batman games but hello???

so i've been mulling over a potential Superman game concept. the tutorial takes place as he's growing up and learning his powers, of course. main game starts sometime after he's moved to Metropolis. maybe have some open-world elements to let Clark explore Metropolis and help people out wherever he goes.

i'd also include semi-frequent "events" where Superman hears a cry for help elsewhere in the world, and you'd fly over to deal with some disaster or something.

i'd love for it to be an RPG, to allow for player choices affecting the flavor of Superman that Clark becomes. does he try to be kind? does he hold onto his humanity? does he befriend or fight Batman? does he join the Justice League? or does he go rogue and become Lord Superman?

and! if it's an RPG (and if i'm the one in charge lol) there's gonna be ROMANCE OPTIONS!! that's right, this baby could be a dating simulator if WB and DC weren't fucking COWARDS

romance options would include:

Lois (duh)

Jimmy (bc why not)

Diana

Bruce

Lex (but only if Clark goes the evil corporate route)

obviously WB would never let me make Clark queer but this is my dream sshhh

and since it's my dream, there's gonna be the option to pursue both Diana and Bruce in a polyamorous relationship. maybe even before you begin to flirt with either of them, Bruce and Diana could already have their "interested in each other but not acting on it" deal we saw in the animated Justice League, but it wouldn't be brought up unless the Polycule Route is triggered.

as for Superman's powers. obviously there'd be an upper limit to how much of his canonical abilities can be feasibly portrayed in a video game format, but if developers wanted to push those limits, i think there's potential to see some really fucking cool shit. like. use his different super visions and super hearing to solve mysteries. take a quick trip up into space to the Watchtower. literally use your flight and speed to fast travel to where you need to go.

look man, my boy Clark deserves as many (good) games as Bruce already has.

DC and WB y'all better fucking hire me i can make y'all so much goddamn money. listen to me-- no no LISTEN, hear me OUT. there are so many queer nerds that would jump on the chance to make Clark kiss whoever they fucking wanted, this is a chance to profit off the pockets of lonely queers -- no NO WAIT COME BACK---!!!

[crookedfandomquill]

I am about to lose my mind with y'all, for real. To recap, we got: tons of new backstory content on Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship; tons of cute new content including them dancing together a la Jane Austen; two other queer relationships meant to parallel and contrast their own; a FUCKING KISS; confirmation from Neil that he has an entire third season planned out and, regardless of whether it gets made in a TV format, will definitely give it to us in some form or fashion... and there are still fans jumping online and acting the fool.

Look. I totally understand if relationship angst isn't your thing. I'm not always in the mood for it, and it has to make sense for the story and the characters. However, feeling a lot of feelings about how the season ended, or wishing it had gone differently as a personal preference, is not the same as getting on this platform and saying, with your whole chest, that it was HOMOPHOBIC for Aziraphale and Crowley to hit a major relationship snag. Was it goddamn sad? Absolutely. Did it hurt my soul? 100%. But there are people claiming that it's part of some new "queer people have to suffer" trend (an emotional bury-your-gays, if you will), and that Neil (noted storytelling genius and LBGTQ ally) wrote this ending as an elaborate form of queerbaiting.

My girls. My gays. My theys. My sweet, silly geese. This is preposterous. First of all, this is not how the story ends. It is a clear and masterful setup for a third season (or whatever form it takes, hopefully TV but we shall see). It's pretty typical for the second act of a story to end in some kind of tragedy or twist that needs to be resolved in the third act, and it's typical because it works great for narrative flow and character development.

Second of all, and I'm begging you to listen to me: it is not homophobic to have your queer couple experience relationship problems. It is not homophobic for there to be pain and difficulty before they get a happily ever after. It is not homophobic to let your queer characters deal with commitment issues, unresolved trauma, or other baggage that temporarily prevents them from being together. This is literally a staple of the romance story, regardless of the sexualities involved, and is something that almost anyone who's been in sexual or romantic relationships has experienced in real life to some degree.

Now, if there were truly a phenomenon in fiction where every single queer couple had to go through astronomical levels of difficulty to get a happy ending, proportional to fictional straight couples, and the sweet, uncomplicated stuff just wasn't there to indulge in, I'd concede a little. But that's just... not true. If you think it is, you may not be reading or watching broadly enough. Queer folk deserve to see queer characters overcome relationship conflict just as much as they deserve to have sweeter, escapist options.

If you're mad about Good Omens 2 because you prefer drama-free escapism in you queer relationships, or were expecting that and felt let down, that's fine, you have a right to your feelings. And it's always hard when you've waited for a story for four years and built it up in your head (which is why I generally try not to do that, but you do you). But, you do not have to justify your feelings by accusing the story of queerbaiting or homophobia. In fact, I beg you not to. Just say that it hurt and you wish it had been happier; it's okay for you to feel that way, and people shouldn't put you down for it.

But propping up your emotions by accusing a piece of media of implicitly contributing to a system of oppression that it actively works to undermine is just not where it's at, folks. There is media that genuinely does that, but this isn't it. Again, have all the emotions about the ending that you want, but stop crying wolf. It's getting old.

[dmagedgoods]

sorry i really really really want to ramble because my GOD Raphael has me in a chokehold. my christian grandma would probably get an aneurysm if she ever learns the amount of affection i have for a fictional nasty devil man

Raphael always striked me as... i def don't have the needed english vocab for this, but, yk, nudging? hinting? suggesting rather than forthcoming? a cat seeing the rodent go into its hiding place and simply waiting near it rather than pushing its paw inside. a cat staring at it's human when they cook rather than trying to steal the food bits by itself. yk????

he nudges us in the right direction, he knows one way or another we'll do what he wants us to do and so he waits and plays around rather than straight up DEMANDING we do something. he only goes yeah yeah so and so its YOUUUR choice yes YOUR CHOICE..... its like that thing he said with Mol, what was it? "to choose the only option she has left"

and i think in a romance it would be very much the same, in situations. i imagine if he goes in for a kiss, he... well, he won't *go in* for it necessarily. he'll move in just enough for OUR mind to think of it, then patiently wait for US to make the first move, and goddamn it I'm pouncing onto him alright!!! it reminds me of a post i saw a longass time ago about how flirting is basically saying horny/affectionate stuff but also having enough deniability to say "oh,no, thats not what i meant at all". and he's literally the personalization of that.

"did... you flirt with me?" "take it as you will, little mouse, all i wanted to say is [explains in still a vaguely flirty manner lmfao]"

and that opens up, like... how would he be when he's not patient enough??? if his patience is JUST running thin he'll probably pull us closer yeah but make it not too obvious and more almost like how you pull in a dance partner. he can't let us know he NEEDS to kiss us, hmmm? and when his patience is gone for sure i can definitely imagine him just straight up grabbing us tbh. you didn't give the cat enough attention so get ready to be clawed at until you give it a VERY MUCH DESERVED treat you ungrateful human

(cat-coded raphael believers unite)

so so so sorry to drop all this text on you i--- 💀

🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼

Anon, you stay right where you are! Don’t you dare and run away! [Guards, close the gates!] I'm being silly omg, don't mind me. But never apologize for coming at me with Raphael thoughts, I love this so, so much! 💕 Also I wholeheartedly agree! Raphael definitely is an observer who likes to tempt action and then see it unfold, curious for the direction it will go. The comparison to a waiting cat really fits! After all, isn’t it that much more satisfying if the food is brought to you instead of taking it yourself? 😌 "To choose the only option she has left", that’s quite classical devil behavior if you ask me. - Making the deal with him appear like the last resort. Maybe moving a few things into place here and there, but ultimately just offering a solution in desperate times of need. Omg, I wondered about this so much, anon! Because yes! True! Raphael has time and I even think it will take him a while to come to terms with his own feelings (those feelings he shouldn’t have as a devil). The “tempt then wait and see” behavior plays into this perfectly and gives him the chance to declare it a mere game he enjoys. I imagined a scene where Tav or Durge teases him and he can’t resist anymore, loses his patience, and kisses them with demanding passion. But oh, I really, really like your idea too. Maybe even more, since you are right, that’s such a him thing to do. Offering, preparing “the deal” but it’s Tav/Durge who needs to sign it by claiming those tempting lips for a kiss. Or well, why not combine it: Tav/Durge teasing him, Raphael losing his patience (we all know he struggles with self-control when confronted in well-aimed manners), but stopping himself from the last step, his fierce need so very obvious and still holding himself back, because as you write: He can’t let them know he is internally shaking with desire and yearning for them. And the way I imagine him to flirt is quite similar to this, indeed. Sometimes just teasing or some flattery, sometimes lewd like the liquor in bellybutton line, but he has this suave demeanor that always creates a bit of distance and allows his prey to take a step backward if they are not willing to go there (yet). Tav/Durge needs to be quite courageous to get that next step from him. Of course, Catphael Raphael has to make it hard for them, probably because he enjoys it but maybe also because he’s not quite sure how to deal with it all himself. His usual duality of hidden insecurities and egomaniacal pride we love him for.

[reinekes-fox]

Okay i wanna try to remember everything i wanna say.

Spoilers... probably alot!! Sorry.

I'm gonna number this!:

1. I loved being able to play the game all over again because it felt new to me even tho duh it's not.

2. I liked being a dove. It was my first playthrough as a dove and i was suprised at the optional dove RO even tho we've encountered her before.

3. I still think jonah is absolutely adorable omg.

4. Chase is still a goddamn menace but again romancing him as a Dove just hits different. I still have to do my baby elronds route again and astroria is actually scary. Her and marcel gimma the creeps no lie 🤣 I'd take the yandere aka droznik over them anyday.

Getting onto the update:

1. I still think basti is hot even tho he wants to kill me. Like bruh just lemme flirt with you're dead ass 😒

2. I'm gonna murder Adam!!! Legit. Especially if you were all flirty with him before. My poor baby MC he just thought the dude liked him.

3. Our mother still sucks.

4. Can i stop like dying???!!! 7 on 1 is cowardice 😒 also love how Chase literally kisses us out of a trance.

5. I was not expecting Drozniks' revelation at all!!!! That threw me for a whole loop.

6. There is a scene at the hospital you probably can't fix tho where on his route he helps you get dressed but then all of a sudden Its Fuschia, which confused tf out of me ngl 🤣

I loveeeeeeed the update. Like I've been playing it the whole day and it's like almost 5pm now. I seriously am so obsessed with this i dont think you really get it.

Curses to your goddamn laptop tho because now i gta wait like forever to reach a conclusion to all the unfinished bits and it's torture. Yes yes i know I'm sorry 😞 it sucks for you too but i just wanna side eye your laptop once.

Never apologise! This gives me really meaningful insight as to what the players can’t reach because of my spaghetti code!

(Actually played through it today myself and man it’s bad… so much stuff is missing, tangled that characters who have no business showing up so just show up, you can do things you shouldn’t be able to do)

1. Why don’t you give raven (or beizen again) a chance? :3 they actually got something new in store!

2. every volery will have its own unique RO, most will just show up later! (Because I don’t want to add even more variables to the birthday…)

3. Jonah is a knight in shining armour.

4. Oh can I maybe interest you in giving Marcels route a chance? And poor Astoria, she just wants to put a ring on your finger :(

Update (yes let me know all you liked!)

1. in one route he will save your life actually!

2. poor Adam was just as shocked as you were! „Fuck that hot guy is talking to a vampire…“ and he will write you later, feeling really bad about it!

3. mother dearest, the sad thing is that she actually improved from when she raised MC!

4. oh you aren’t dead just yet! Kind stranger saved you! And yeah chases kiss too

5. that was my plan all along!

6. that happens everywhere it’s awful 😭

How do you think I am feeling, sitting on all this stiff in my head but I can’t write it 🥲 it’s horrible… I have so much stuff I want to put in there… but I can’t…

[remyfire]

I don't know if I'll keep this post up because this is not what any of y'all are here for, but I have to get it out somewhere. This is just a lot of gritted-teeth venting, so if that's not your style, scroll on, I love you, I hope you see a cat photo soon.

Truly every day of my life I find myself gritting my teeth when I see another joke or article or post or anything at all about booktok romance novels, that specific style of book cover, the disdain about promotional graphics like trope maps, that whole kerfluffle because I just! Wanna be like. Hey guess what! None of us wanted things to go that way either!

Like it really is remarkable sometimes to remember how readers don't necessarily get to see us smaller romance authors gritting our teeth and bitching in our spaces because we hate the trends that are being pushed forward, but also we have to compete somehow, right? We have to be sell books. We have to find a way to be picked up and read in this oversaturated sea. We have to try and gain traction against those people who hire 50 ghostwriters at a time for pathetic rates to churn out romance novels so they can release one literally every month. We have to fight against the 99-cent expectations even though we're lucky to make 35 cents per book sold if we offer it at that rate.

I think one of the most insulting things that publishers did was decide that it was the author's responsibility to go viral on booktok. That way, the publishers got to save a hell of a lot of money on marketing budgets, right? No, we won't be arranging tours unless you're lucky, we won't be pushing your book as hard as we usually should. It is your job to have a social media following that is broad enough that you make your books go viral, not us giving it a boost as your publisher. If you don't go viral on booktok, we will probably not be signing you for another book, sorry, bud.

Cannot express to you either how many of us erotic romance authors especially were gritting our teeth when the cover trend started leaning toward basic primary colors and splotchy abstract shapes. I completely understand that not everybody wants a shirtless man with a 12-pack just slapped on the front cover of the book they're reading—I actually thought it was brilliant when I saw several self-pub authors offering both the traditional steamier cover but also an option of paperbacks with a more tame, understated cover that just makes it look more like a literary novel. But god, it felt so lazy, these aforementioned abstractly illustrated covers. They told me nothing about the book. There was barely a sense of themes or important objects and these shapes had no defining characteristics that set any of the characters apart and they just looked like YA novels, which is fine for YA novels, but how do you market your extremely high-heat romance novel in that cover trend? If you throw together those blotchy illustrated shapes, people are going to think it's sweet or closed-door, and then they get in there and there's 12 graphic sex scenes on the page, and they're furious about it. I loved seeing illustrated covers that were more detailed start to make a move forward, especially because it meant starting to separate the American cultural assumption that illustrated = childish. Letting them be sexy, letting the author be able to represent any kind of protagonist they wanted without being restricted to the tiny selection of mostly skinny white able-bodied cis models on stock photo sites? Incredible. Love that. Want more of it. Wish it was easier to get publishers to really buy in on that.

The fact that readers will complain about promotional things like trope maps when the publishers require the use of them. The publisher makes them, they hand them over, and now you are the one who will be using it because that is contractual and because even if it wasn't, you want your goddamn book in front of people's eyes. And if you are self-pub or indie, if you don't have a substantial marketing budget to spent thousands of dollars on ads, promotions, and whatever the hell else, you are all but required to follow the trend because that's the only way you're gonna get people to share your shit.

And god, the way that it's all reduced to just 'booktok romance novel.' I get what that's referring to, that exact grouping of authors and why they're frustrating, but holy shit, I wanna know how many of those readers have picked up a self-pub or indie romance by a marginalized author. I'll see people complain about the quality of romance novels as compared to the quality of romantic fanfiction and I wanna shake them by the shoulders and say, "It's there! It's out there! It's self-pub and indie romance authors out here doing the goddamn work and you! Aren't! Looking! For it! Because it's easier to mock the genre instead!" Especially self-pub/indie queer romance authors who are marginalized, they are out here revolutionizing the genre and not getting anywhere near the accolades they deserve.

It's just irritating and exhausting. It's frustrating enough to have your genre used as the constant butt of jokes, treated like it's a substandard genre, like all it is is trash, using 'bodice ripper' as a disparaging term for modern romance novels when that is a relic of a very distant past and a historical pinpoint about which we can have an in-depth discussion about the decades-long process of making it socially acceptable for a woman to talk about her sexual desires rather than the 'bodice ripper' days when a woman had to have them forced on her instead before she could ever dream of admitting that she might know her own body and its cravings.

It's frankly embarrassing to see my genre so poorly understood. That's all. The one genre that is devoted to making sure that every marginalized person can have a happy ending of their choosing—marriage, pregnancy, queerplatonic, no sex necessary, no marriage or kids necessary, whatever feels right—rather than just the skinny white able-bodied cis people, that's the one that is always getting the potshots taken at it, and it's really a goddamn shame.

[growling]

please give us the tea on the warrior cats ships!!!

I'll go first by saying Mothpool is overhyped and Leafpool had more chemestry with Cinderpelt. (in my opinion, ship what you like!)

:3c !!! Didn't think anybody would actually ask I am gonna gonna ramble now.. Separating this into pos and neg opinions

Positive:

I did think of leafcinder before and thought it was cute but not really something I'll get passionate about (i tend to be very picky on these kinda age gap/mentor x apprentice ships), now that I'm reminded of it I can really see it! They would have a great dynamic (taking tnp cinderpelt personality into account here. tbh her in tpb and her in tnp are almost different characters to me... where's your whimsy girl...), and honestly, there are almost endless options for Leafpool ships (she interacts with so many cats woagh that's crazy for this series she actually has friends??) that have more chemistry than crowpool. I mean it's fine I guess from a strictly plot perspective (and even that's well. bendable) but why is Leafpool, 30 cat years after their breakup, dead, in cat heaven, STILL deeply in love with cat Clay Puppington. I know they will get back together in StarClan because the authors absolutely love them and think they popped off writing their romance subplot they think they created a banger. Sorry this veered off into negative can't help being a hater.

hollyjaylion, leafsquirrel and bramblehawk are the three shipcest pairings I will never be able to be normal about. Canon to me. I say this as if I'm joking but I'm serious oughhh the goddamn dynamics. On a joking note though, graysky. there is no healthy nothing to see here just bro supporting his bro explanation for whatever the hell gray wing's problem was this entire arc

spottedtiger is cool it's interesting it's mindblowing it saves lives and it's haters are sooo silly I am sorry... "but spotted is his aunt according to the family tree!!!!" ok. and is this made relevant in the books at all? do they ever even acknowledge these two as kin. It's so pointless.. draw them making out

why's the fandom turning on darktiger suddenly now because they're still related (which is not even relevant or explicitly pointed out in the books and them being related was only decided way after both of their arcs together were done I. ughhhh.) wasn't this your favourite little henchman x fascist dictator toxic yaoi ship just a few years ago?? cowards. draw them making ou- ah wait that's just dark being obsessed with tiger, who on the other hand would RATHER NOT he wants that useless lickspittle OBLITERATED he doesn't CARE

ivyhawk good she could fix him. or he can make her worse. once again the fandom are major cowards for turning on it just like they did with darktiger, but much, much more aggresively so. like you people need to calm tf down just take deep breaths it's just a warrior cat ship...

people complaining about dovetiger's age gap (which are commonplace in the wc series tiger is not alone in dating apprentices) are so boring. they actually have the most wholesome dynamic in the current era/arcs I'd argue. they're in love and I love them. as a ship and both as characters.

fallenholly had the option to be one of THE best dubiously-canon wc pairings to come out of this series had they just went the direction of making fallen actually somewhat more messed up after being trapped as a ghost in the torment tunnels for cat centuries like. I remember someone else wording this really well earlier but I'm not really gonna search so just. Yeah. fallen leaves ships.

leopardtiger is hilarious I don't care. she thinks he's sooo correct and intelligent and truly the enlightened sigma worthy of the tigerclan podcast throne while also poisoning his food because he's fucking pissing her off in their side twitter dms and plotting his demise every night while he's snork mimimi'ing next to her in their kitty political marriage cuddle pile. ben shapiro x pragerU fucking ship I hope they kill each other

mudhawk... funny... seriously WHY is the fandom picking the most interesting goddamn ships to get pissed off at and call "problematic"??????? "age gap" THEY WERE BOTH ADULTS WHEN THEY MET WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON LET HAWK MANSPLAIN MANIPULATE MANFUCK THAT OLD MAN

I didn't read AVoS in it's entirety (and don't want to. it's... boring for the most part. I mean I love violet but is she enough to make me keep reading all that.) and don't remember if they even had any notable interactions but violetpuddle is very cute and my favourite (and, honestly, only) option for their ships. puddle's mother suckled violet but they don't consider each other "real" siblings just like how their mother doesn't consider violet as her daughter but try telling that to the fandom who can't distinguish between wet nurse arrangement, foster siblings and adopted siblings. Proud only resident of violetpuddle nation...... literally nobody else is here...

Negative: (gonna start censoring the cat/ship names now)

so correct moth.pool overhyped and their fans annoying. and also because I headcanon moth as aroace like there is not a single romantic thought in her body I cannot ever imagine her in a relationship moth don't care.

*takes a deep breath* mouse.fur is not aroace. tall.star, raven.paw and barley aren't gay. authorial statements made 10 years ago at some con ARE NOT CANON. IF IT'S NOT IN THE TEXT IT'S NOT CONFIRMED CANON. Also the latter examples also reek of biphobia lol. you can ship any of these characters with anyone forever, what is any of you people's problem.

long.fire, shadow.root, holly.cinder, bright.cloud, jay.kestrel are boring yaaawn I am falling asleep and do not see it. same with sandfire; these two did not have the groundbreaking dynamic (nor was sand that uh, well-rounded as character) you think they did you're just nostalgic. I actually prefer spottedfire and cinderfire over sandfire. anything over sandfire.

hawk.ash pisses me off because their shippers are always "hahahaha toxic yaoi sooo fucked up they make each other worse!!" but show them an actual toxic pairing and they immediately shit themselves and call you an abuse fetishizer. COWARDS you lot are COWARDS and this is why I cannot get behind hawk.ash at all like I associate them with the most annoying people so much I cannot sorry. I'm sure it's a cool ship or whatever

I actually got tired and now am too sleepy to articulate myself properly anymore but still here are the other ships that I either dislike or just plain out hate seeing: fern.ivy, alder.needle, crow.squirrel, bristle.root, bramble.squirrel (but that's a very popular one lol), lion.cinder.

thanks for the ask! :3

[lunarreverb]

God DAMNIT I've accidentally led Gale Dekarios on AGAIN, he used his Act 2 horny book line on me and I didn't see a clear way out so I said "What exactly do you mean by that?" and that wasn't the right option to abandon ship; he just said he found it thrilling being at my side and that I'm pretty even in this light or whatever, which is cute, but WHY can't I then reply with a hard emphasis on how it's nice to be friends, Gale, F R I E N D S. This is driving me NUTS WHY are the dialogue choices engineered with lasers to steer me into a misunderstanding with this man

And it's a genuine shame, because I personally like Gale! I loved playing through his romance when I did it intentionally! The complaints over his extremely reasonable ask for magic items in Act 1 are, I think, terribly unfair. Gale is funny and interesting and as a character, I think he's terrific.

But I can't tell whether this is a case of, a) his dialogue trees and approval gain rates being poorly weighted to overcorrect for the number of players who can't be bothered to listen to him more than once, or part with a single crappy magic amulet, or b) Larian really leaning hard into the "desperate, socially inept nerd who misunderstands social cues" archetype for him, which wouldn't be fair because there's no way for him to understand a cue that's so difficult for me to give! When the assumption that the only time a player would give him the time of day is if they want to romance him??

I just.... PHEW I think my next chance to say 'no thank you' won't be until the night under the stars because Tav Neblinae isn't romancing any other character, and goddamn if that doesn't seem like it'll be a real kick in his ribs.

[cxhleel108]

S7 Thots for this week: Oh god…

• I will in fact not be giving “us” a chance Vicky I’m so sorry.

• “There’s a him-shaped space in my bed and there’s a him-shaped space in my heart”…GIRRRLLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I already made a post about this quote alone but omg thinking about it again has got me crying. Someone please come get this bitch.

• I know I said my MC was gon keep it classy with Willow but both her AND I have had enough of Willow flapping her gums so best believe I chose to read her ass for filth when they let us.

• Gee I wonder what it is…

• *Gasp* REALLY??? YOU DONT SAY🫨🫨🫨

• Fusebox…CAN BITCHES JUST BE BISEXUAL TO BE BISEXUAL LIKE WTF??? They always pull this dumb shit like either you only want the boys or you only want the girls it’s never TRULY an option to choose both. Most of the time if I’m making my MCs bi it’s just for character building purposes so when I’m being forced to hear Bonnie declare her love for me 20 times each volume when I don’t want her you’d see why I’d be irritated.

• So apparently, after gathering info from other peoples posts, we coulda been having this convo with our original love interest and we coulda snuck out to the daybeds and did the nasty with them pulling our hair and shit if we chose the “Travis/Evan/OG LI” option. The way this makes no sense my god. This goes back to the point I just made like y’all don’t know what the fuck y’all doinnnnnnn!

• Omg she’s so embarrassing I can’t do this anymore😭😭😭

• While I’m mad I didn’t sneak down there with Bryson, seeing her lil pussy ass get absolutely nothing from him never fails to make me laugh.

• Uma getting all the girls to leave by pretending to gush about Alex…she ate that.

• I love Daphne (Sorry Raf romancers).

• Time to talk about outfits!🤩

• Fusebox let the stars go like good lord😭

• Ignoring that aspect, this is cute.

• Now THIS is what I want to see more of! Yes!

• Ok Willow being an embarrassing and obsessive ass bitch was funny at first but now it’s just annoying. Does she have any other hobby besides keeping MC’s nuts in her mouth?

• Now, onto this lame ass movie night.

• First of all, I guess I yet again need to clarify that I want nothing to do with Bonnie or her Ellen Degeneres haircut. Second of all, even if my character chose to give her the time of day…Vicky why the hell do you give a fuck??? You weren’t even here when these clips happened and once again I DID NOT CHOOSE YOU!

• Evan don't stick up for me like that baby I'm liable to put this thang on you😩

• In a shocking twist that nobody expected, Willow started talking shit and immediately shut up because her tea got clocked. I honestly gotta applaud her tenacity.

• Bryson’s confession over us uggghhh so cute😍

• Travis saying that Uma was hotter than Bonnie unprovoked was so rude😭😭😭 At the same time tho…did he lie?😶

• Alex is such a hypocrite. He knew damn well he was bout to fawk Estelle on that goddamn terrace before she left.

• Omg Uma said the casa girls needa make sure that they get to the villa😱😱😱 They grasping for straws tryna make up drama like obviously she’s gonna prioritize getting to the villa that’s literally the whole point.

• #Raphne lives on yesssss!

• Evan asking us on a date…WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO ME?????😫😫😫😫😫

• Outfit time again!🤩

• Ok I love love looooove all these options. The ONLY problem I have is with the choker necklace on the green dress like that needs to go. Other than that these are sooooooo cute.

• *Sigh* Why is Evan literally perfect lol🙃

• It’s not even the fact that he’s fine as hell and his personality is chef’s kiss but the way he’s not suffocating us with the fact that he likes us (Some other people should take notes😕). Lemme not speak too soon tho cuz they still have time to ruin him💔

• I am not kidding, when I replay this season I am grafting on him so hard with NO FUCKING HESITATION.

• I was so tempted to flirt with him just to piss off Vicky and Bonnie cuz why are y’all staring??? GET OUT OF MY BUSINESS!

• FINALLY! FUCKING FINALLY!

• I legit thought they were going to have us go through this entire volume without getting alone time with our OG LI and I was finna be so pissed.

• Not gonna lie tho…having sex in the middle of the living room where anyone could just walk in is kinda insane😭

• Where was I at Willow? Oh, I was just giving “your man” the time of his life😁

• Calling it now we’re not actually gonna get to sleep with who we want.

• Girl where tf did they get a whole curated bouquet of flowers?

(I’m not gonna lie guys I fell asleep before finishing this post cuz I was busy yesterday so I prolly forgot some things but yeah this volume was…ok)

[violet-moonstone]

ideas for Httyd 2, THW, and spin offs

no energy for full sentences rn

second movie is basically the same but with better characterization for the side characters (we need RTTE level dynamics, plz)

this one would be tough but: third movie includes RTTE characters and explanations for why they weren't in the second movie while also introducing them in a way that is understandable for new audiences. What I would give to see Heather, Dagur, Viggo, (and maybe even Gustav) in a movie! Imagine how good Dagur would look with movie-level animation!!

either Drago comes back as the villain (not really dead - and I'm pretty sure this was the plan for the unfinished httyd comic (fire tides) that we never got (what a tragedy)) OR we get another villain whose thing is literally anything other than mind controlling dragons because jfc that's the strategy of all the movie villains, even the Red Death - just give us a regular dragon hunter, or rival dragon riders who use their abilities for evil (like being actual Vikings who attack other villages but they use their dragons as weapons)

third movie ending option 1: it ends not with all the dragons leaving, but with hiccup vowing to make the archipelago a safe place for dragons and even venturing out further than the archipelago to see what other creatures are out there (this would be super cool for Zephyr and Nuffink to do to! and I want to see them training their own dragon!) - this could be a great way to lead into other non-httyd series set in semi-historical fantasy worlds with other mythical creatures

third movie ending option 2: the dragons do leave but after a MUCH longer time frame. I'm good with the whole "there were dragons when I was a boy" thing but to do it after dragons have been part of viking society for less than a decade and just because they nearly lost to one villain just doesn't feel earned at all IMO.

Also I'm sorry, idgaf about the light fury tbh. I would have preferred if toothless found a small group of night furies instead of just one who becomes his soulmate or whatever. I hate that movies make romance the ultimate goal even for a goddamn dragon.

OR scrap the third movie altogether, make the second movie the last one, and take some stuff from RoB/DoB and RTTE to make a plot for the second movie.

extra note: apparently dreamworks bought the rights adapt to another Cressida Cowell series called the Wizards of Once in like 2017 and I'm crossing my fingers hoping it will a) actually get made, and b) come somewhere close to the magic of HTTYD 1 and not be a let down.

[csuitebitches]

I'm basically addicted to staying up late. and it's fucking up my life. I have to wake up early for classes, so I have to function on an average 5-6 hours of sleep. and I've been seeing the effects too. I'm having a checkup done tomorrow to see if I have stomach ulcers (its a high possibility bc ive been having stomach issues for 2 weeks now), and my father was saying lack of sleep contributes to it. they dont know I stay up late usually reading webtoons or romance novels. I'm getting sleepy in the middle of the day, and my vitamin levels are dropping. I want to sleep well but EVERY SINGLE TIME I STAY UP. it's like this fear that I don't have enough time to read what I want during the day, so I do it at night. please help me. I'm ruining my body and I don't know how to stop. I'm so goddamn angry at myself

I hope you realise that change is going to be a slow process and setting new habits will take time. Nothing will happen overnight.

1. You need to set time boundaries. You can’t be up at night reading for hours and hours because that is chaotic. Set yourself a time limit of say 30 minutes of reading a day. Use a timer and shut your device off the second it rings.

2. Why are you experiencing so much fomo if you don’t read? Or are you trying to avoid something in your life by getting so engrossed in your novels? Are you having trouble at school/ with friends/ family/ partner?

You need to get out of that world and come back to reality because it can develop into something worse - like an addiction to your device, which yes, is really a thing - and then at that point it’ll be more challenging to cut that habit out.

3. Give your family members your phone or whatever you’re reading these things on before you sleep. You need your phone for the alarm? Buy a physical alarm and set it. Fight your urges. It’s NOT good for you.

4. Make a list on why over reading webtoons is messing with your current life schedule. Every time you get the urge to not sleep and read, go thru that list. You are going to have to give some tough love to yourself. I hope you understand that.

5. Finally, I hope you realise that that real life and webtoons are not the same. What happens in that world will not happen in this world. Whatever romance novel you’re reading is most likely not going to happen to you because love doesn’t always function like that.

If things are still not getting better, you need to be honest to your parents. I’m sure it’ll not be easy and they make take some extreme measures - but you need that short term pain if things really go that far.

Ask yourself if stopping the habit yourself is better or if having your parents step in is a better option.

[pennamepersona]

woke up thinking about the narrative use of astarion & how weird it is that his personal quest doesn't tie into the main narrative At All bc something is wrong with me, etc

ftr, i'm saying all of this as a bigtime astarion fan. love this guy. i keep romancing him and it's begun to feel like a cry for help. And Also, @ larian it's really fucking weird that you made a guy who doesn't tie into the plot at all

i'm putting the rest of this under a readmore. also i'm maintagging this mostly just for being able to find it later, if anybody wants to come @ me then pls know i basically never engage w/ tumblr and you'll probably be disappointed.

best i have for a real justification is that astarion exists in part for players who want to be Evil And Fucked Up. none of the other companions are fully down with using the tadpole powers or trying to take over the cult. and it is genuinely good to have a companion who gives you that option! if players who wanted to explore the fucked up options had complete disapproval from every companion, it would be kinda feelbad and make those options feel less like a real choice you're allowed to make.

why does that matter re: astarion being entirely detached from the main narrative? thank you for asking. it means that "guy who is down for being fucked up and taking over the cult" doesn't come across as secretly being in league with the bad guys the whole time. astarion having no link to ketheric, orin, or gortash means that his power play ideas don't make you suspicious that he's been lying to you and is just waiting to deliver you to the Chosen.

to be clear: still weird that he has no direct tie-in. but this is the best reason i could think of for why he'd be so completely not involved.

the other Point Of Him, i think, is for The Dark Urge. it's no secret that astarion is a killer parallel for durge. i'm not gonna go into that but goddamn, i love it.

and if we're looking at things from the durge perspective, i think it kinda works for astarion to be so detached. he then becomes Random Baldurian Affected By Durge's Actions and it adds more strength to him also functioning as a piece of nuance for the tadpoles. he's the only one who directly benefits from the tadpoles existing! and that on its own is a cool bit of narrative. i think the durge side of things makes astarion's narrative tie in just a bit more. we've now got Dude Who Was Saved By Player Character (Albeit Unintentionally). i think it adds more depth to the durge narrative, and if the dark urge was the only non-origin option and tav didn't exist, i think it makes astarion's lack of narrative relevance a bit less glaring.

tldr; useful for the guy who's down to be fucked up to not be involved with the villains At All so you don't get suspicious of him and the option to be fucked up feels like more of a real option

(also tasty durge & astarion narrative depth)

[pepsi-maxwell]

I am romancing astarion on two playthrough one is a massive half-orc barbarian who you know loves to intimidate and slash and dice and im like at the point where he is a silly bitch and then in the new one a half elf Druid is nice to him and everyone and he is hissing like a goddamn cat it’s so funny this man is hilarious

help he's so fucking terrible 😭 when the dream figure shows up a second time to tell you to use the tadpole more, i shut that down and astarion immediately went on a huge rant asking if i had a reason to talk to him outside of ruining his day 😭

confession time: i ended up romancing him in the gale origin story because i'm trash, but the part where you can ask about his scars gives you special options if you have good arcana and it's making it tragic i didn't ask for this dkgkblbks