#and give roxy what she deserves. I will. there will be nothing to stop me.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

So. The whole "making little recipe zines for Chica" thing has taken over my brain. The second I get back on my meds you know this is gonna be the next thing I focus on

If the people in charge of FNaF won't give Chica what she deserves, then I'll do it for them

[fnaffancontentbutmostlyglamrocks]

I'm about ready to just boycott Steelwool games from now on because of Monty not being in Help Wanted 2.

Before you @me saying I'm be over dramatic. It's just been so annoying how Monty is treated in the games.

Security Breach: He takes the most dammage of all the Glamrocks, despite the fact no worse than any of them. Hell Roxy deserved her shattering the most for how cruel she could be.

Ruin: Roxy gets a full on redemption/ second chance because she’s Cassie's favorite. That's it. There is nothing indicating she’s shown remorse for wanting to kill Gregory.

The player can show kindness to Chica and repair her voice box. For absolutely no reason, too.

Sun/Eclipse gets a form of closure

Monty gets electrocuted and fucking dies.

Then in HW2 he doesn't appear at all, and it wouldn't be as noticeable if it weren't for the fact that he is the ONLY animatronic too not appear.

I don't get why. Does Steelwool hate him or something? Did they look at Glamrock Bonnie fans saying they hate Monty for killing Bonnie, and this is there "apology"

On the topic of him killing Bonnie. I'm more annoyed that it is being used as justification to get rid of him. That he’s "pure evil" and so doesn’t deserve to appear.

By that logic, Scrap Baby shouldn't be in HW2 cause she's homicidal, and there's nothing to indicate she's under mind control.

Even then, why not play that up? Make Monty evil, outside of Glitchtrap. A purely malicious animatronic.

I do like the idea that even when the Glamrocks were "safe" and couldn't harm guests. Monty found a loophole. He can't harm guests, but nothing in his programming can stop him from harming an animatronic.

Why can't they make him a villian then?

Why couldn't we have a game where you have to repair staff bots that Monty has broken, keeping an eye on the doors (and in the hard mode an ear out for the vent) while Monty stalks around Gator Golf. Then the game ends when, instead of a staff bot, it's Bonnie's body brought to you. Then, in replaying, a sharp eyed player could see the moment Monty attacked Bonnie.

Or, make him as "friendly" as the others. Give him a minigame where you help him sign autographs, and you need to be a bouncer for obnoxious fans (played by staff bots). If you don't keep them away enough or fail to give him photos to sign in time, he gets angry, and you have to calm him down.

What's most upsetting about Monty not being in Help Wanted 2 is that this was a chance to give him a good final send-off.

Now fans of Monty have to hope he appears in an Update or DLC. For the latter, it is shitty that we have to potentially pay more just to see him.

Monty deserves better, not as a "person" in the universe, that it's still up to debate. Just as a character in Security Breach.

This has just snapped the twig

[laurasauras]

3,20,38

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

whenever i find myself thinking like this, it usually prompts me to go, okay, so how do i make it work.

the easy example is hanahaki--it's always been a trope that's annoyed me because it feels like weaponised victimhood and i couldn't get past how shitty the target of hanahaki would feel. so one day i come across it and i get to thinking, okay smartass, you do it better then! and from that i wrote two fics and an rp about characters who got hanahaki for people they both really didn't want to have it for and who couldn't have the surgery. i wanted to see what it'd be like if i gave it the highest stakes i could think of, and i think Excise My Broken Heart (unrequited daverose) is one of the best things i've written

in terms of ones i haven't done and really can't see myself doing though, pregnancy freaks me the fuck out so i don't think i could write anything more detailed than a tacky gender reveal party without getting squicked. and despite using 2nd person constantly due to the homestuck of it all, i find y/n fics to be tooooo ... idk directed? i don't have a problem with people reading my fics and getting off or with getting off while imagining themselves as the characters, but i'm not writing to get people off. not my cuppa tea! even in my porniest you better believe there's a character observation i'm proud of making!

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

okay so when i want to write i make myself a cup of tea/milo or boozy beverage of my choice, get in comfy clothes and sit where i always sit (my armchair, probably cross-legged) with all the things that give off notifications exited out of so i can't see the (1) of it all. i'm not hungry, i've taken my meds and i've had a shower recently enough that i'm not distracted by hygiene

when i need to write, same thing except i'm listening to Alive 2007, daft punk's live album where they mash up a bunch of their songs. it is magic for making me focus

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

one that i still think about is from Yet Another Crisis, where roxy is making her bad mental health everyone else's problem as well, which was a vent fic about my brother acting out before anyone knew he was trans. a commenter said that it really resonated with them, i shared the inspiration and they were like welp, that's why it resonated! they said, "I suspect I'm going to end up sharing this fic with my therapist, and maybe even my mother someday when she's ready to listen" and i will never stop thinking about how something i wrote was meaningful enough that someone feels that by sharing it, they can be known better. nothing tops that!

i actually keep a doc (that i always forget to update) with comments that have particularly made me smile. i'm fortunate enough to get a lot and i treasure them all, but some of them deserve to be squirreled away for days when i need to be reminded that my art has impact on people and by doing something i love, i have brought happiness (and a whole bunch of other emotions) to wonderful people 💛

[smolcuriouskitten]

Going in Circles

The days began to bleed together as her monotonous routine continued. Sam hasnt picked up a single call or text. He did say he was going on a hunt but she doubted that. She doubted that in her heart. The last time someone walked out on her, it ended in tears, divorce, and one hell of a hangover.

She knew he was too good to be true. She knew that things were going too well for her. She was fearful for his safety of course, not wanting to be so selfish to think that he just walked out on her. She wasnt linked with him yet, so how would she have known if he was alive or not? No no, dont think so grimly, just because hes human doesnt mean hes weak. He could be different. Hes a hunter, hunters always carry themselves in a safe manner. What if he was reckless?

Just scribble your thoughts into the book. Stop thinking about it for now, hes gonna be back. Roxie wasnt helping either, whispering little things in her ears about how he was probably dead. Stupid to fall in love with a human. A hunter at that. Okay, writing isnt helping. Maybe a shower and your mothers records will help ease the pain and make Roxie shut up.

Getting up from her spot on the couch, she turns on the water for the shower. She goes through her closet to find one of his hoodies he gave to her. On one of their dates, she was cold and he gave it to her and she meant to give it back to him but it slipped her mind. Grabbing it despite Roxie's protests, she hangs it by the door to slip on after her shower. She puts one of her mothers vinyls and puts it on the player, letting it play. The song was about how she would return, deja vu, one of those that would fill Ramondas for wanting ears.

Rockelle stepped into the shower and lets the water run over her, singing along with her mothers tape, Roxie's voice growing quiet. She had a moment of peace again. After a well deserved shower, she heard a car pull up into her driveway. She wasnt expecting company and she didnt get a call from Sam either. Moving from her bed, she walks downstairs, Kimchi peacefully by her side. Did he really return?

Seeing that flannel and his hair, the man she grew to love in one peace, all that worry left her. She was happy to see he was okay but she was angry. Angry that he left without notice, sad that he didnt think to tell her about it, that happiness was short lived. "Hi Rocky. It..its been awhile." He said with open arms as she opened the door for him, intead of giving him a hug, she just looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

"Oh Im aware. You didnt think to call to let me know you were okay? Or at least tell me where you were going?" Rockelle responded coldly and Sam's jaw clenched, his smile dropping to a frown. "Im sorry. The hunt had required all of my attention. I should have called to let you know what was going on." She steps aside so he can come in and he nods briefly, walking in, Rockelle shutting the door behind him.

"So Im not worthy of at least 10% of your attention? A simple text saying 'im okay' is better than nothing." She argues and Sam sighs, his word choice was questionable and it ignited an argument. "Rocky, I didnt mean it like that. Im just saying with hunts, they are time sensitive and even a minute of my brother and I not paying attention to our surroundings or research could be fatal." He quips back, Rockelle scoffing and nodding. "Right right. Was it time sensitive when you left without telling me?" She asks, tilting her head as she waited for his answer.

"I understand how that can be frustrating. I should have let you know where I was going. That was wrong of me to just up and leave without notice." He answers, clenching his jaw and holding his head. Rockelle hums in response, folding her arms. "I am still mad at you even with your apology. I get worried easily Sam. I dont want you to just leave without telling or giving me an idea as to what you are doing. I dont want you to just walk out on me and I dont know if you are gonna come back..." That anger she felt began to fizzle away into sadness, feeling bad that she was being selfish and mean to him, despite him coming back. Before she knew it, tears began to fall down her face, making Sam rush in and hold her face.

"Hey hey! Its okay! Im sorry, I should have said something. That was wrong of me to go without saying anything. Nothings gonna happen to me, I will always be here." He soothes, wiping her tears away and Rockelle sniffs, nodding her head. She didnt tell him about her abilities yet, about how she would outlive him inevitably. She didnt want to say that she couldnt lose him before his time, all she could do was nod and cry.

"I love you...and I dont wanna lose you." Her voice trembled and Sam kisses her forehead, resting his head on top of hers. "I love you too. And you wont, I promise. Im not going anywhere." He mused, pressing more kisses on her soft skin, leaving a final kiss on her nose that was red from crying. "Hey." Sam called, making Rockelle look at him, sniffling, waiting curiously. "You look adorable in my hoodie by the way." He compliments and boops her nose, making Rockelle nod and smile softly. "Thank you baby." She leaves a kiss on his nose making him smile as they both held each other close.

{for @ofwaywardsunshine }

[atomic-taco-muffin]

The Legend of Hana Part 54

Warnings: More angst

Rating: SFW

At the World That Never Was, Axel was walking down the streets toward the castle and Pluto the dog was following him. Pluto walked down an alley, expecting to find Axel but he wasn’t there. Suddenly a dark corridor opened up and Pluto rushed into it, knowing that it was Riku. 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

Axel had arrived at the castle and walked up the many stairs to the laundry room. 

“No one is here yet...” he said. He looked in the laundry room and found a brand new jacket to replace his ripped one. “Even though I don’t know who it belongs to, I’ll just take it.” 

He put it on and it fit perfectly. 

“Okay. The size after applying heat to it just fits,” he said. He spotted something in the corner of the room and found a camera pointing in his direction. 

“Don’t tell me this is a closed-circuit camera? This place has become an uncomfortable one to live in,” he said. “Oh, is it because of me?” 

The washing machine blew up and the alarms sounded. He panicked and rushed out of the room. 

The camera at 15-7L has received damage. Unfortunately there is an unknown trespasser. Please reinforce the security nearby. 

“Even this old home has these things, and the response is so fast,” Axel said as he ran away. He stopped in his tracks when he saw a group of Nobodies surrounding him. He summoned his chakrams and fought his way through them and made his escape. 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

In Where Nothing Gathers, Organization XIII and Anti-Roxy were discussing what had happened. 

“My spare clothes went missing!” Demyx said, making Anti-Roxy laugh.

“I say, Axel’s lucky that he didn’t take Xaldin’s clothes instead,” she said. 

“The situation with Axel...shall I take care of it?” Saïx asked. “I know what his next move is.” 

“Okay,” Xemnas said. “I’ll leave this to you, Saïx.” 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

On the beach of Destiny Islands, Kairi looked at the water, thinking about Sora and of he was okay. 

“Sora. I’m waiting for your reply...still waiting...” she said as the soft waves crashed against the beach. “I...cannot just always wait like this.” 

“You’re right,” someone said. Kairi looked over to see Axel walk out of a dark corridor. “If you’ve got a dream, don’t wait. It’s one of life’s little rules. Got it memorized?” 

“...Who are you?” Kairi asked. 

“I’m Axel. Someone who Sora trusts, Kairi.” Axel held out his hand for her to take and a group of Dusks surrounded Kairi to make sure she didn’t escape. “Return to Sora’s side. We’re quite alike in a way or another. Both of us want to meet an important friend.” 

Kairi fought her way through the Dusks and made her escape, not making Axel happy. 

“Okay? Aren’t they just like friends?” he asked. 

“Friends...?! Friends won’t do this kind of thing!” Kairi said. 

“This kind of thing? Have you mistaken something? Don’t be afraid, they aren’t bad guys. Just that sometimes they might forget things.” Suddenly, Pluto pinned Axel to the ground and nother dark corridor opened behind Kairi. 

“Yikes! What is this?” she asked. Pluto barked and ran inside the corridor. “Eh, do I go in there too? Wait for me.” 

Before she left, she made a funny face at Axel and entered the corridor. She and Pluto walked through the corridor and before Kairi exited it, she spotted a person in a black cloak.

Riku...?

Kairi arrived at the mansion in Twilight Town where Hayner, Pence, and Olette huddled around her. Chia and Nightmare woke Kairi up by giving her multiple kisses. She woke up to see the triplets and was confused. 

“Are you okay?” Hayner asked. Pluto ran over to Kairi and gave her a few kisses. 

“...Huh...where am I?” 

“You’re in our house. I’m Olette.” 

“I’m Pence and this is...” 

“Hayner. Uwah! Stop, that tickles!” Hayner giggled as Pluto was giving him kisses. Chia climbed into Kairi’s lap and she smiled. 

“And who are you?” she asked. 

“This is Chia. She belongs to our sister,” Olette said. 

“And this big guy here is Nightmare. Our guard dog,” Pence said as he gave Nightmare some well deserved belly rubs. 

“My name is Kairi. And I’m looking for my friends.” 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

Yui stood on her balcony, looking at Kingdom Hearts and thought about the times she ran into Riku. She wanted to deny her feelings for him but found that she couldn’t. Even from that kiss to set her free from Junko, she couldn’t deny her feelings. She sensed someone behind her and found Anti-Roxy walk up to her.

“What do you want?” Yui asked. 

“A little bird told me that you got saved by a kiss. Honestly, it’s so pathetic,” Anti-Roxy said.

“So? Naminé would’ve done the same for you.” 

“Oh please. We’re half Nobodies. We shouldn’t be feeling anything.” 

“I know you don’t mean that. C’mon Roxy. Please fight against the despair that’s controlling you and help me save dad before it’s too late. Think about Naminé.” Roxy summoned her pistoleer and aimed it at Yui. 

“Like I said, we shouldn’t be feeling anything,” Roxy said. Yui snapped and summoned her own pistoleer.

“WE MAY BE TWINS BUT YOU’RE NOT ME! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN FEELING!” she shouted and charged at Roxy. The twins fought with such vigor. Bullets flying everywhere, tears falling down Yui’s face, and Roxy trying to bring Yui back into despair. Yui realized that if she continued fighting Roxy, then she’ll end up back in despair. She backed away and ran for the door but Roxy said something that stung. Stung bad. 

“Are you seriously leaving your sister like this? After all we’ve been through?” she asked. 

“If you’re gonna be like this, then I’m not sure I want you as my sister,” Yui said. Hearing those words leave her mouth, made Roxy question if she’s truly herself or not. Yui rushed out of the room and out of the castle, sobbing. She ran and she ran until she bumped into someone. Someone that she never thought she’d see.

“Riku...” 

[knightimehopes]

The Conversation.

Ult Dirk: …

Ult Dirk: I know you’re here, and listening.

Ult Dirk: You have no choice but to listen to this, so save yourself the trouble and show yourself.

Ult Dirk: We need to talk, and I’m not interested in you being a whiny, adamant little shit about it.

Ult Dirk: There you go, the young Prince finally got his ass in gear.

Ult Dirk: It took you long enough, I had thought I’d needed to taunt you out like one of those seductive pole dancers that old Earth apparently liked. Of course, nobody actually cares about that.

Ult Dirk: The web of realities finally connect to bring us to this very moment, tying together into a tapestry of universes showing off our huge ass face as if we needed a huge display of our collective ego any more than we did.

Ult Dirk: Which I did of course.

Ult Dirk: We were meant to speak again, in order to get to the true fucking culspe of our narrative importance.

Dirk: (Jesus fucking Christ.)

Ult Dirk: Look, I’ll get to the point.

Dirk: That’s a first.

Dirk: Thought you were going to suck off your own dick of infinite splinters for fifty hours so you can spout shit about random philosophy I’m pretty sure you don’t actually give a flying fuck about.

Ult Dirk: Do you really want to go down the road of selfcest?

Ult Dirk: I know you hate me, but let’s have mercy on the both of us and not bring that topic into this.

Ult Dirk: I’m not a fan.

Dirk: Aren’t you the motherfucker who said, and I quote;

Dirk: “I had thought I’d needed to taunt you out like one of those seductive pole dancers that old Earth apparently liked.”?

Dirk: I wasn’t the one who began to say the creepiest shit to a sixteen year old version of myself.

Dirk: So grow the fuck up and get to the point.

Ult Dirk: I won’t fall for your childish insults, because you clearly have no idea about the importance of this conversation.

Ult Dirk: I’m pretty sure this is the only point you’ll actually find any relevance in any timeline, and even that is a stretch.

Ult Dirk: You’re not something of worth because of your own actions, and you should honestly be thanking me that I brought you here.

Ult Dirk: Limelight finally shines upon your insignificant self, for the third time mind you.

Ult Dirk: This is your last chance to accept my offer, and I will tell you one. Last. Time.

Ult Dirk: I want you to allow me to use your body as my vessel in your universe.

Ult Dirk: I have my limits on where my influence can get to, as you know. I actually only cared about this timeline having my control dominationg it, at first.

Ult Dirk: But I had an epiphany.

Ult Dirk: Your timeline, among others, is within the Alpha timeline, as surprising as I’m sure you think it is.

Ult Dirk: A gleaming beacon shining through the god damn garbage of dumbass timelines that have no bearing on anyone or anything.

Ult Dirk: So I thought this;

Ult Dirk: You can help me bring your timeline, and universe along with it, to true narrative supremacy alongside mine.

Ult Dirk: Disagree with me if you want, go on ahead, but consider my offer before you decide to make yourself a fucking waste.

Ult Dirk: Everyone benefits from an actual point for existing, Dirk. Your friends are hellbound towards meaninglessness and redundancy, repeating the same old actions and the same old routine. You’ll get sick of it eventually, all of you will.

Ult Dirk: This cannot be stressed enough, you just can’t give up my chance to attain continuous relevancy. People won’t watch a story without enlarged stakes, and my supreme domination with thousands of stories to come will keep us in the public eye for a long, long while.

Ult Dirk: Make your choice wise-

Dirk: Okay, shut the everloving fuck up, please.

Dirk: I’ve had my patience with you the first two times.

Dirk: But it’s worn thin.

Dirk: Nobody is interested in an out of character incel who’s decided that the only way he’ll look appealing is if he cosplays in the worst Kamina cosplay anyone’s seen in decades.

Dirk: No one, and I mean no one, is going to give a fuck about what some random pompous poofy pants asshole says in his psychotic ramblings about some “Narrative” or whatever the fuck you keep spouting on and on with.

Dirk: Speaking of, what the fuck even is this long winded metaphor of yours that you keep on mentioning with readers and stories anyways? It’s gotten old after the first fucking mention of it.

Dirk: There is no goddamn point to anything you’re even saying with it, at least I have a method to the shitty fucking madness that is my life that I put all my friends through.

Dirk: You’re just spouting shit and acting out without even understanding the ramifications or even acknowledging how much of a shithead you come off as instead of how you want to be seen.

Dirk: Everybody knows you’re just putting on the act of being an all knowing holier than thou smug prick, but the only thing you are is a coward who can’t come to terms with anything.

Dirk: We’ve talked too many times, and you told me everything you did, and the only thing you accomplished is disgusting me more and more.

Dirk: I don’t know what got you to this point, how you got so far off the path we promised for ourselves.

Dirk: To be frank, I stopped giving a fuck when you told me what you did to our friends.

Dirk: You turned Jane into a facist Republican propaganda piece with your absolutely deplorable bullshit “narration” powers, you reduced Jake to a goddamn manchild who can’t even stand in front of a crowd without shitting himself.

Dirk: And I don’t even know if this is your fault or Roxy somehow was forced to lose brain cells, but for your Roxy, they’ve been essentially simplified into pink Dave at this goddamn point, not to mention that you’ve insulted them by not even dignifying their identity.

Dirk: That’s not even the beginning, mind you. But the fact that you decided that the people we loved for years deserved to be riduculed, infantalized, demonized, and reduced to imbeciles by your hand is something that you remotely deemed okay? That’s a transgression I can’t be anything but disgusted with you for.

Ult Dirk: You clearly misunderstand how inconsequential all you just criticized me for was and still is.

Ult Dirk: Dirk, misgendering and manipulation means nothing compared to what I have in store.

Ult Dirk: You don’t even have any proof to show that I did it in any case, all everyone knows is that I left on some mission that nobody fucking knows jack on.

Ult Dirk: How bad can I truly be, with just those as my only crimes?

Dirk: Perfect segway into how you kidnapped Rose, corrupted her, and manipulated her wife into believing everything I just stated and more was fucking okay by her when she clearly didn’t, and now she wants to fucking murder you, and so on.

Dirk: Not to mention, John Egbert.

Ult Dirk: I didn’t do anything to John.

Ult Dirk: Bare in mind that it still was useful for getting the Seer of Mind on my side, regardless of the blame for his death. Seriously, how the hell did I do anything to a guy far out of my reach?

Dirk: Sure, because you totally didn’t bullshit the concept of “Cherub Poison” that essentially one shot kills god tiers and completely bypasses our complete bullshit deus ex machina known as conditional immortality.

Dirk: Either way, doesn’t excuse that you used his death to manipulate a grieving woman either. I can go on, but seriously.

Dirk: It baffles me that you think any of this fucking shit is remotely excuseable. We’re done here.

Dirk: Get a life, you sorry sack of shit. You don’t even deserve any of the similes turned defemations or symbolic insults I can come up with right now.

Ult Dirk: You go when I say you go.

Ult Dirk: You want to play a game?

Ult Dirk: Fine.

Ult Dirk: I’ll humor you.

Ult Dirk: I want to-

Dirk: -Play a game in which I’m still a piece of shit trying to manipulate another person around him into his twisted schemes.

Dirk: That’s what you should have gone on to end it with. Because we know it’s the truth.

Dirk: Real fucking original line, by the way. Want to pull out the bro vs. bro strife drama out of your ass to add on to the shitty callback cake? Just sprinkle that shit on there?

Ult Dirk: You’ll never understand, will you?

Dirk: I could honestly say the same to you, especially when you try to look like the king of the weaboo neckbeards.

Ult Dirk: Don’t compare me to Tegiri Kalbur.

Dirk: Who the hell even is that? You know what, don’t care.

Dirk: What I’m saying is that despite your reasoning of this being all important because you’re suddenly the villain now out of left field, doesn’t explain how this has remotely any point to even happen in the first place.

Dirk: If you wanted relevance through this Sburb session you’re trying to set up, then think about it. Would anyone have complained about you going off to make some new alien species on a new planet? I doubt they actually would have, if you didn’t go off and specifically piss off everyone in your five hundred thousand mile vicinity.

Dirk: Hell, I guarantee some people would have wanted to help you out with some of this shit, it probably would have been an entertaining experience for some of the more scientifically minded folks in our social circle.

Dirk: Not that you care, you’ve made that pretty evident.

Ult Dirk: I’m not letting you leave.

Ult Dirk: This decision has long left your capability to effect it. I gave you your chances to assimilate with me willingly, and you chose to shit on my offers time and time again.

Ult Dirk: So you’ve left me no choice but to beat you down myself, and make sure you finally understand your place, and your role in the frameworks of my greatest masterpiece.

Ult Dirk: My words explaining to you how you don’t understand weren’t me flexing the muscles of my ego in your face, Dirk. It was an explanation on how futile your resistance truly is.

Ult Dirk: Come at me bro. We’ll make this happen.

Dirk: Finally, some words we can agree on.

Ult Dirk: And I’ll cut this off for the dumbass posting this to Tumblr of all places with a nice, shoddily made callback.

Seriously, Tumblr? You have a fanfic you can just as easily post all this to on AO3, you could have made your own website, but you chose Tumblr. This is what I get when I let a sixteen year old have the reigns.

If you want some context on this motherfucker, too bad. I’m not promoting shit for this child who thinks that my work is child’s play written by a band of idiots. They can do it themselves.

The next page will be up soon, so you can truly see who’s in charge here.

Until this bastard finishes the art, Dirk Strider, signing off. (God, that was the most moronic sentence I’ve had the displeasure to say. Of course they need me to sign off this way.)

Pg 1. You are Here

Pg 2. Coming Soon

Divergent Reality so far:

[dailybreadsoaked]

Asking me to stop wanting to know where you are and with whom at 2am is a bit different than me begging you to stop ignoring me and playing with my mind for sport. Somehow you feel you’ve been wronged. Well I’ll stop both problems and give you the payback for my indescretions. But l want to ask/ remind you of one thing. Remember how you cried when you said goodbye to the kids? How you wanted the best for them? How it killed you inside? How you’d do anything for them? Well that was my reason for the indecision in our first 5 or 6 months. I told you that. You said you knew. Swore it. So what did you benefit from the hell you drug me and my kids thru? A few orgasms and some dope? And yeah…I talked to your cousin after I found out you were still talking to other men including the one you knew would kill me. We were broken up, Like u just said to me, not together when I texted her…. So you fucked your ex to pay me back for something I admitted to doing and showed you everything. 30 texts was the cost of you betraying me. About one third of the number I saw you sent to your own male cousin, pics included. (in a dress you sent a pic of to me and I instantly sent you the money to buy it…it was my dress)you helped orchestrate a big ploy to make me seem guilty of some messed up stuff. I defended myself and tried all night to prove my innocence and I did! Thank God I did. You went from swearing you believed me and us reconciling our love but as soon as I left you got the night planned and were going to him as I woke and begged you to not do this at 430 pm. You called me the next day to tell me you fucked and I forgave you on the spot. That was supposed to be out fresh start. The shady shit continued as I continued to beg like a bitch….i then the girl we had a three way with…I talked to her. Talked. With the number you gave me. No touch. No nothing, talked. And that was Days after you had planned 2 dates and she showed me pics y’all had taken and you sent to someone that wasn’t me.Then months of u going missing and phones being deleted and single fb statuses and behavior just like tonight…you forcing me to abandon my family to see you or else…finally got me caught. The man you swore was just a friend was on the phone with you when I got to your condo. I was finally yours. All yours. No status update. No gradual announcement. Just one shot talking about sex which I found too soon so that was it. Since then you’ve lived here on and off. We’d have issues and I’d call the ex. Never fully trusting because when the questions came up, the data on your phone disappeared. I was crazy. I was paranoid. On off on off I never stopped loving you. Yes I got way too angry and did things that make this easier because I’ll never forgive me. I’ve done my best to spoil you, love you. Make you mine. One month, one month with no major lies and I’d give you a ring. And after all that. After months of you draining my wallet my heart and my soul I still love you and you just disappeared the 2nd night in a row. I’m accused of clinging to the past because I can’t accept illogical answers. Then if I dig deeper I’m crazy and ignored. Well Freya, liviana, Raquel, Roxie and my dear @cashliejames, your king Ragnar loves you and will eternally. I’d ask you to join me in Valhalla but you don’t want to. It’s clear. Even In this time of transformation you are ignoring me again. Such a struggle, such dedication, such a love, dishonored by someone that can’t even begin to see it past her selfish greedy perspective. I hope he is impressive. I’m sorry I bruised you. Sorry I yelled. Sorry you bled. I never deserved the torment. Whenever you got a taste which I’d never allow you to feel what you did, you’d treat me like a monster while ignoring the fact that the 30 mins you got was a daily mindfuck for me. Easy fix. No brains, no mindfuck, no pain

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Since I can't keep myself out of Meteors fun, here's some nonsense: Eddie and Cassie trying to help with Roxy's aquaphobia by trying to get her to walk on (safe!) ice in the wintertime.

Meteors is fun! Glad you're having fun with it too cause it's great!!

Been thinking about this one and... honestly? I don't think Roxy would actually know what ice is outside of the cubes in your drink. Why would she? Nothing but ice in drinks would have ever been relevant to her before. She would probably know that ice melts and becomes water, but she would have never seen it in any other setting than a drink...

Which gives me the idea of her frequenting a park with a pond or mini lake or whatever, experiencing winter for the first time ever and stopping to think like. Why is there... not water here anymore? Where'd it go??? Did they just cover it over or something???? Ohhhh she can WALK on this!! Oh it's cold though... and slippy, actually. Huh... Calling Eddie and Cassie over to check out this cool thing on the water and they find her sliding on it like :D lmao

I like to make Eddie a bit of a worry wart. A very safety oriented guy, that is trying to make the unsafe things that Roxy does and deserves to do as safe as possible (such as an emergency phone, drilling on emergency numbers, first aid stuff, general rules he is praying she's abiding by in that death trap of a Pizzaplex) and oh the heart attack he had seeing her fucking around on literal thin ice oh ye gods lmao

The fun part is explaining this to her to get her off the ice. Just shouting what she's standing on and she's like "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S ICE??? THIS ISN'T A CAFE!!" Gets off the ice, Eddie breaks through it with a rock and she's staring like O.O oh...

STILL

First winter is fun!! So is introducing Roxy to ice skating provided Eddie or a friend of his can make her some ice skates cause uh... that's the problem with paws for feet. Not really accommodated for :( and if they do this after the bit where she learns it's a large body of frozen water then she is scared what do you mean it's fun??? This is AWFUL why would you DO this are you all INSANE????

Cassie convinces her to come and try it after a long explanation of how an ice rink is made and... oh the sad dog noises... she is regretting every decision she's ever made... She's being constantly reassured as she slowly walks her way around the rink, clinging to the walls in case the ice breaks and there's water under it. "Roxy, it's okay! There's nothing under the ice but the floor!", "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!!"

They might need to get an employee that works there to explain that it's just flat ice on the floor. It wouldn't be safe for the public otherwise! Roxy gives them the flattest look and says "I was an animatronic at Fazbears." and suddenly everyone in the vicinity has decided to never go to Fazbears again lmao that is not a promising sentence to hear

Pfft she is finally convinced - but still wary - that the ice isn't going to break and dunk her in ice water and she starts to let Cassie take her a little away from the wall. They're holding hands, arms out for balance and slowly building up speed the longer they spend there while Eddie is ahead guiding and encouraging them. When Roxy gets the confidence to go a little bit on her own, she falls... and yelps like she's stabbed or something. Eddie and Cassie immediately help as she scrambles and slips trying to get back up and when asked what she hurt (cause it must have hurt) she answers, "My FEELINGS"

They're both TRAITORS! She fell and the ice was wet why didn't they say anything?! Now her paws are wet and she can't stand wet paws how could they do this to her??? They sorta thought it would be obvious that if ice is made of water it's probably gonna wet that's their bad but they thought she broke her face is she for real-

Just sad dog noises as she keeps waving her paws around like a cat that stuck their paw in the water bowl and forgot there's water in there. "So........... do you want those mittens now?", "...... Yeah ;-;" They're all fine btw. Roxy was just spooked cause she didn't expect the water and immediately thought the worst in the moment. While she doesn't verbally apologise, she does tell them she's sorry about scaring them in her own little ways that she's learned. By this time, they probably understand what she's trying to say, and if not, then she says what she's doing it for if they ask. But anyway fuck that here's an idea

After coming down from the Spook of Ice being Wet, Cassie the absolute genius comes up with an idea to make this more fun. You know how at ice rinks they have those uhhh things for kids that can't skate that's like a penguin with handles and platform for them to stand on? Roxy and Cassie, to Eddie's never ending amusement and slight anxiety, take turns sitting on one while the other pushes it around. How hard they can shove each other across the ice depends on how long it takes for staff to stop them lmao they're still careful about trying to keep Roxy off the floor but with mitts on and her not falling as hard or suddenly and in a goofy silly way, it's not as bad.

Still bad though. The sad pupper noises return every time her fur gets wet from a fall until it's dried enough. They decide to go rollerskating next time. Less stuff to worry about there. I mean, who would put water under a roller rink, right?

[redheadscribe]

Winx Club Opinions and Hot Takes

So after my review of Fate:Winx Saga I feel I need to acknowledge that while I do love the cartoon, it too has it flaws but it is leagues better than Fate. Still here are few of my scattered thoughts.

The Trix got much needed character development in Season 8. Well, at least Icy did but still an improvement. We see The Trix being actual sisters in some of season eight and let me say that pre-season 8 they were almost like the Team Rocket of the Winx Club, except none of the development or charm and season 5-7 they were rather annoying. If they are going to keep giving The Trix the spotlight as the villain give them some much needed development.

Instead of Pop Pixie why didn't Rainbow do a spin-off show of Roxy and her time at Alfea while also giving some development to the Alfea students. Or why not have Roxy attend the school at Tir Nan Og? That way she could learn more about earth fairies and be closer to her family and spending time with her mother after being separated from her. This would have given her some time to shine on her own and becoming a more fully realized character.

What are the point of the Pixies, fairy animals, fairy pets, selkies? I mean they are cute but they really serve no purpose. I do like the pixies and all but they served no purpose to the plot at all.

The show is too black and white. There are the good guys which are the fairies and the specialist, and the bad guys which are the witches. The villains don't exactly have goood motivations. The Trix wanted to steal the Dragon Flame and take over the Magic World. Lord Darkar wants to take over the world(I think?). Valtor wants to be the most powerful wizard and take over the world. Tritanus wants to take over the infinite ocean, I don't even want to talk about Selina or random book wizard. Cheetah Chick and whatever her brother is want to create a army with magical fairy animals. Then they ran out of world conquering villains they had to bring Valtor back.

Can I also say that maybe Darkar should have been saved for a final villain. It is said that he is the master of the ancestral witches, Valtor and all that is evil, so he has all of the makings for a final villain. Like The Trix for season 1, maybe the ancestral witches for season two and the fortress that Darkar has can just be reworked for their hideout as they are biding their time to regain their strength then have the Trix be serving them. While the Winx stops the witches they retreat to report back to Darkar. Then we have Valtor and the Trix do not appear as Valtor will use his lackeys Chimera, Cassandra and others from the girls home planets to make it personal. Lastly will be Darkar as Valtor claims I am not the last or something along those lines. Then if we must can add the other villains or have Tritanus be a mini boss of sorts as he can be one of Valtor's servants and we can have him be a mini boss that Aisha has to defeat or something. Well that wen't longer than expected.

Side Note: It has been awhile since I watched the whole show so feel free to correct me if I missed anything.

Also the Specialist are really boring. They don't really serve any other purpose than to be the girls love interest. I mean in World of Winx they are hardly mention in that series and the show does not loose anything from it.

The antagonist are the supporting villains are nothing to write home about either. Diaspro was fine for at least the first three seasons but that is it. She should have been done afterwards or if they did they should've put her back on a path where she wants to make up for all of her horrible deeds. I never understood what was the deal with Chimera and Cassandra but I did like their looks, same with Diaspro. My point is, is that they are just mean for meanness sake and are just the stereotypical mean girls.

The only good thing about Sirenix is it's song and that is it. Sirenix just looks ugly with the Daphne's look being the exception.

Bloomix could've been called anything else. Maybe Neo-Enchantix as the girls loose their power and Faragonda sends them on a quests to show why they deserve to get their powers back. I do have to say that their designs were great though.

Rainbow made the mistake for calling Enchantix final fairy form. Seriously when you call it that just stick to it and I don't know repackaged the dolls for merchandising or something.

What was the point of charmix? No seriously that is something I am not understanding. All that happens is that they get a nice little broach and a pouch bag. And some don't even look good. The best one being Musa.

The romances are so boring too. I don't mind some of them but they are so dull.

Season 1-3 Bloom is not the same as season 5-7 Bloom. Season four was okay but you can definitely see where her development was going. Also they should've added more of Bloom showing her dark side before we were introduced to Dark Bloom.

Well that was a long ramble but it goes to show that no show whether it be live-action or animated is perfect. I love Winx, always will but this is the last I'll ever speak of this. Next I'll be tackling the Grishaverse starting with the Shadow and Bone book review, Six of Crows, and then King of Scars duology. Then lastly I'll talk about the TV show.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: The League of Evil Exes

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of the greatest cult classics of the 2010s for a wide variety of reasons: it had great performances, it got a video game adaptation that didn’t suck, it had an awesome soundtrack, and best of all, it apparently ruined an entire generation of women! What couldn’t this movie do (besides make a profit at the box office)? Of course, more than anything, this movie delivered on the promise of its premise by having Scott Pilgrim fight against the seven evil exes of his manic pixie dream girl Ramona Flowers.

That’s right: There’s not one, not two, not three, but seven villains to talk about in this movie!

Thankfully, this massive amount of villains makes it a lot easier to talk about them, because each of them basically gets only a single scene with which to establish their characterization and deliver a fun, exciting battle. Still, it’s pretty interesting to look at them, especially since not all exes are created equal. As a note, I’m obviously not doing a “Best Scene” for these guys because... they basically have one scene each. It would be redundant.

Motivation/Goals: The League of Evil Exes has a very simple goal: to control the future of Ramona’s love life. As Lucas says during his battle with Scott: “The Seven Evil Exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?” This is especially funny because Lucas is probably the least evil of the lot. While this is an incredibly simple motivation, it fits with the tone of the movie; this is a sort of a Bowser-esque motivation, one that perfectly fits a movie that is so steeped in video game culture.

Performance: Lets go one by one here:

Satya Bhabha is the first of the evil exes, Matthew Patel, and he really eases you into what to expect for the rest of the evil exes, though here “eases you into” means “grabs you by the balls and swings you over the head like a chimpanzee.” Despite his meager screentime, he makes the most of it, delivering a Bollywood-esque musical number complete with fireballs and demon hipster chicks and generally just hamming it up. This right here is just a warmup, though, because things get crazier from here – just like in a video game, really.

Lucas Lee, the second evil ex, is a big-shot movie star regarded as a pretty good actor by all who see him. Unfortunately, they got some unknown weirdo named Chris Evans to play him, but casting this obscure indie actor certainly paid off, because Lucas Lee’s smug, over-confident portrayal combined with his affable nature make him one of the most enjoyable characters in the movie. He really comes off as a cool, cocky guy who just happens to be going up against our hero as opposed to being an actual antagonizing force.

Todd Ingram is the other best evil ex, and much like Lee it’s mostly because he’s a pretty nice guy. However, the key difference is while Lee was cocky and affable, Ingram is just kind of a ditz. Played by one-time Superman Brandon Routh, he opts to go for the more subuded route, a cold ham as opposed to a large ham, and he definitely makes it work; I did call him the OTHER best evil ex, after all.

Then we come to Roxy Richter, played by Katara herself, Mae Whitman. She’s a very angry, tomboyish lesbian who gets in a lot of great lines and shows off a very jaded, irritated personality in her limited screentime. She’s definitely a lot of fun, though apparently she has a lot of elements of Envy Adams due to being combined with an early idea to make her Ramona’s evil ex in the movie.

The Katayanagi Twins. Ken and Kyle, are… nothing. Because Keita and Shota Saitou (Kyle and Ken, respectively) did not speak English, the twins have no lines and don’t really get to establish much of a presence before dying. It’s a bit unfortunate, because it becomes really easy to forget these two are here as a result.

Gideon Gordon Graves is a smarmy, smug, condescending jackass. You have met a man like him before, and you have wanted to punch his face in. Jason Schwartzman really amps up the sleaze when playing this creepy, controlling bastard, making him a fitting final boss.

Final Fate: Each and every one of them is defeated by the end of their scenes, bursting into progressively larger amounts of coins, with Patel being pretty meager in terms of value and Gideon literally making it rain when he’s defeated. It does kind of feel weird that the twins are worth more than a beloved actor like Lucas Lee, or that Roxy is worth more than both Lee and a musician like Ingram, but frankly this isn’t really a movie where you should be overthinking stuff to begin with.

Best Quote: I don’t think I can really say Patel or Gideon have amazing, quotable lines to the extent as some of the others, but I’d be pretty remiss to not mention Todd’s legendary “...Chicken isn’t vegan…?” and Roxy’s equally legendary “Well honey… I’m a little bi-FURIOUS!” here. Lucas Lee has a lot of good lines but he’s quite frankly too consistent for me to pick one; Chris Evans really just went all-out for this one.

Final Thoughts & Score: Once again, let’s go one by one:

Matthew Patel

Matthew is the definition of a warmup boss, at least by the standards of this film. He brings a lot of insanity to the table all at once, what with his demons and Bollywood musical number and sick dance moves, but the fact he’s probably not the most insane and baffling character in the film really tells you something. He definitely makes the most of his screentime, and while his fight is relatively short, it’s a lot of fun. This man deserves an S-L-ICK 8/10.

Lucas Lee

Lucas Lee is probably the second best evil ex in the movie. He’s just so cocky, arrogant, and hilarious, and he still manages to come off as a bit polite. Its like if Captain America and Ransom Drysdale had a baby, Lucas Lee would be it. The fact he’s played by a pre-superstardom Chris Evans really is the icing on the cake here though, because his battle is fun and ends with Scott defeating him by playing into his arrogance. Ah! But he didn’t get his autograph… Oh well. Lucas Lee is an easy 10/10.

Todd Ingram

As much as I love Lee, I have to say that Todd easily has the most impressive fight in the entire film, in large part due to his awesome psychic powers he gains from being a vegan. I gave one of his legendary quotes up there, but frankly, the entire battle is awesome and quotable, the fact that at least half the battle is a rock-off is great, and the fact Scott tricks him in the most stupidly amazing to defeat him and put him at the mercy of the Vegan Police is just amazing. There’s also just the sheer novelty of how, with the power in hindsight, we got to see Superman (Routh) dating Captain Marvel (Brie Larson portrayed Envy, Scott’s ex and Todd’s girlfriend and bandmate). Todd is just a perfect, lovable idiot villain, and deserves nothing less than a 10/10.

Roxy Richter

Roxy actually gets to show up twice in the film, getting a brief scene with Scott a while before her identity is revealed. While her screentime doesn’t really amount to much, it really is incredible how much characterization they managed to pack into her limited screentime, her dialogue really selling how she is easily the most bitter and angry off all the exes. She seems genuinely hurt at some points that Ramona left her and considers her just a phase, though this of course doesn’t stop her from trying to ruin her life. In a weird way, I’d almost call her the most complex of the exes, and Mae Whitman does a great job at selling her. I will say though, despite her fight scene being filled with some of the best dialogue in the film (which is saying a lot, mind you), the overall fight is a little lackluster, and Ramona getting in makes it reek of “designated girl fight.” Still, there’s nothing so egregious about her that I’d give her anything less than a 9/10.

The Katayanagi Twins

These two, quite simply, suck. They get absolutely no characterization, they get no dialogue due to the actors not speaking English, they get no personality. They are, quite simply, just there, and they are just there because Scott needs to fight a fifth and sixth ex. There’s really not much to say here except that their fight scene is admittedly pretty cool and it’s fun to imagine how the hell their relationship with Ramona worked. Did they date her one after the other? Were they in a weird poly relationship? Did they both just spitroast her on the weekends? For those two things I’ll save them from the very bottom of the barrel and give them a 2/10.

Gideon Gordon Graves

Gideon is a smug, evil, controlling creep for sure, and he is the final evil ex Scott must face. But the thing is, he kind of doesn’t feel any more wieighty than any of the others? Gideon is for all intents and purposes the final boss, and while he does get a little buildup, it all comes in the final acts of the film. It certainly doesn’t make him a bad villain – he actually manages to temporarily kill Scott, and puts up more of a fight than any of the others – but considering how awesome Todd, Lucas, Roxy, and Matthew were in style and personality, Gideon kind of comes off as underwhelming. Yes, he is definitely the most evil of the exes, but he just doesn’t really have the “WOW” factor the others do. He’s an 8/10 for sure.

Well, I guess that’s it, that’s every villain in the mo-

Wait?

What’s this?!

Psycho Analysis: Nega Scott

…

[aboysbestfriendishismum]

Chapter 57 - Phone numbers and Spring breaks

In the previous chapter: Eddie and Angie get some alone time in a secluded romantic place near the beach but are caught by two cops, who trap them in a cross-fire of questions, halfway between gossip and interrogation. During this conversation, Angie unexpectedly opens up and reveals she's afraid to tell her friends about her relationship with Eddie also because she doesn't want to lose them, in case they'd break up. Angie manages to overcome her fears and insecurities and, as he drives Eddie back home, she suggests to tell their friends about them at the Ok Hotel on the next Pearl Jam show. The two also have a small fight caused by Eddie being jealous once he finds out Angie had already been in the same isolated romantic spot with Jerry too. Thanks to the cop, who had read Angie's driving licence aloud, Eddie also finds out that his girlfriend has a second name that starts with a W but Angie has no intention to tell him what it is. In the meantime Stone and Grace are coming back from their latest eccentric date. She's brought a tape with some songs she likes so they could listen to it in the car and he criticize the selection and the sequence of the tracks. Once they're at home, after a moment of passion, Stone is determined to confront Grace and her problems with sharing her bed and intimacy with another person, also because he can sense there's something more going on. Anyway he's shocked when he finds out the true reason of her insecurities: many years before, due to an aggressive form of bone cancer, the girl had her foot amputated. Stone's reaction is total confusion, he doesn't know what to do or say and, although he reassures Grace about his feelings, he leaves, saying that he just needs to process the news.

**

I swear I didn't do it on purpose. I mean, maybe I shouldn't swear, because even if I didn't do it intentionally, my subconscious must have given me a little push. Or it's just some kind of fucking mental automatism, just like when you're used at driving the same itinerary every day and once you get to the crossroad you turn left as usual. But you had to go somewhere else instead and you only notice once you get to the wrong destination. That never happened to me anyway. But it's something that happens to everybody, you know, people's always talking about stuff like that. Well, this time it must have happened to me because I left the Music Bank, I got behind the wheel and, I don't know how, I drove and found myself in fucking Roxy's parking place. I sit still without doing shit for who knows how long, uncertain about what to do. Why am I here? What should I do? Do I get in and say hi? Sure, the first thing you wanna see after a hard work day is your ex boyfriend's shitty face, isn't it? Well, actually, maybe she doesn't even remember I'm her ex, just look at the way she treats me, like she treated me in San Diego. Just like a friend. She's not even mad at me anymore, you know, she's even grateful maybe. After all, if I hadn't sabotaged our relationship, she wouldn't be with Eddie now. 'Cause of course she's with him. I don't know but I can guess. He must have hit on her and she said yes. She said yes to me and I'm a loser. Whoever comes after me would look like Prince Charming in comparison. By the way, my car engine is still on. I turn it off when I see Angie with Brian and another girl, coming out of the diner, followed a couple of seconds later by Roxy herself, who waves at them and closes down. Angie's holding a trash bag and is walking towards the dumpsters on the side of the diner, while the others leave walking or by car. I get out of my car and run to the opposite side of the diner, hiding, I don't know why, and peep out from time to time to check her moves. She shows back up after a few minutes, she's still got her uniform on, both hands in her leather jacket's pockets, her face half hidden under a big scarf, her usual colorful bag on her shoulder. She crosses the parking lot and walks down the street, followed by me at a safe distance. I look around to see if someone noticed me, 'cause to the external observer I could look like an attacker going after a helpless girl. But I don't have bad intentions, honestly I don't even know what my intentions are, I don't even know why I'm following her. I almost get caught a couple of times, when she stops and looks at some shop windows and then unexpectedly turns around towards me. The first time I got to sneak into a phone booth, the second time I managed to blend in with the small crowd of a street busker. I keep on following her and I'd really wanna know where the fuck she's going, since we've already passed two bus stops. We're at the third one when she stops and looks around, whereas I literally launch myself into the first alley not to be seen. But why not anyway? Can't I just go there and say hi? I sneak a peek and see her lighting up a cigarette and pacing the small portion of sidewalk in front of the bus stop back and forth. And I hide behind the wall every time she comes into my direction. I look out once again and I just can't see her anymore. I get out of my hiding place and I guess she must have left to the next bus stop, maybe it's early and she doesn't want to wait standing still in the cold. Or maybe someone came to pick her up, maybe her boyfriend... No, there she is, she's still walking all alone, literally all alone, 'cause as we drift away from the shops and clubs the streets get more and more empty. I walk along the wall, basically on my tip toes, 'cause I'm afraid she could hear the sound of my shoes. And this is the very moment I realize there's no fucking sense in what I'm doing. I curse under my breath and jog to catch up with Angie, I put a hand on her shoulder and that's when I feel one of the strongest pains I mean can experience in his life, the moment she suddenly turns around and epically knees me in the nuts.

“JESUS, ANGIE!” I cry, I don't know if it's more for the pain or to call her, since she's about to run away.

“Jerry??” she stops and looks at me perplexed as I squirm in pain, before cautiosly coming back to me “Was it you following me?”

“Yes”

“Are you stupid? Why?”

“I wanted... well, I wanted to play a prank on you” I didn't lose my improvisation talent.

“What a shitty prank, you scared me!”

“Sorry”

“Well, I'm sorry too. Did I hurt you?”

“No, I'm great” I sigh as I finally start getting my sight back.

“You had it coming... you scared me to death!”

“And I got punished”

“I thought you were a guy who wanted to attack me”

“Hehe I was attacked instead.” it looks like I have to get hurt everytime I meet Angie, physically or not. I notice her hand and point at it “What about those?”

“It's a trick Meg taught me” she answers and takes the keys she had placed between her fingers in her closed fist and puts them back into her bag.

“Do you know you can get hurt if you don't hold them tight when you throw a punch? That's a dangerous trick”

“What's that, are you volunteering for training me?” she retrieves the keys and clinks them, whiles she gives me a devilish smile and I give up to the fact that I'll always love this girl. In my way, my wrong and senseless way, but I can't help it.

“No, thanks. It's not that I don't deserve it, but I have other plans for the night”

“What plans?”

“Something like... go on listening to the demos I've just recorded and try to figure out why they just don't work”

“Demos? Of the new album?” Angie goes from joking to being extremely interested and I cannot wait to satisfy her curiosity. That's probably why I came here in the first place.

“Yeah but it's my stuff, you know, songs I wrote by myself, I haven't played them to the guys yet”

“Well maybe you just need to work on them a little, with the band as well. And then Layne can sing anything and make it perfect, so don't worry” Angie shrugs and smiles and I think I'm going crazy, 'cause I'd happily let her kick me in the balls once more just to be touched by her.

“Do you wanna listen to them?”

“I'd love that! Do you have a copy for me?”

“No, but... I've got the tape in the car... we could go and listen to it, what do you think?”

“Uh well, I don't know, it's a bit late” even though it only lasts a second, I can feel the whole hesitation in her answer. It's obvious she doesn't totally like the idea but she doesn't know how to say no without removing that mask of complete indifference towards me. Admitting that being alone with me would make her uncomfortable would be like admitting that there are still unfinished issues and feelings between us. And she'd never do that.

“It's just three tracks. You'll listen and give me an opinion, and in return I'll drive you home. What do you think? “

“Ok, let's go!” she shrugs again and follows me like nothing's wrong.

“So?” I ask her after the first song.

“Jerry it's... what exactly do you think is not working in this song? It's great”

“Do you really think that?”

“Sure!”

“You're not saying so just because you don't wanna go home by bus, are you?”

“Don't be stupid...”

“It'd earn some points with Layne's voice”

“In the chorus for sure but I like your voice in the verse” play my new songs to Angie is not just an excuse to spend some time with her, I like her cause she's sincere and her opinions are honest. She won't tell you a track is good only to please you.

“Thank you”

“Does it have a title?”

“I was thinking about Would. A wordplay, with Wood”

“Andy?”

“Yeah, of course the song's about him. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. Well, I've never stopped thinking about him but he's been in my mind more and more often. Our first album did great, we've been playing around the country ever since it came out, Stone and Jeff are finally making it, many other bands start getting recognition and-”

“And he's not here”

“Right. He's not here. And I miss him. Andy was a friend. Not one you talk deep serious shit with or something like that. It was only fun, everything was fun with him, we had the time of our lives, Andy, Xana, Chris and I. He was such a great person, full of energy and life”

“His life choices tell a different story though...”

“He made the wrongest choices in his life but that doesn't mean he wasn't a good person. So he made a big mistake. I don't judge him though. I hate the people who judge”

“Sorry, I didn't mean that”

“Nuh, it's not you, I didn't mean you, you're not like that” Angie doesn't need to judge you, she just speaks her mind or looks at you in the eye and you feel like shit for the mess you made.

“Meg told me he died around this time last year, didn't he?”

“Yeah, it'll be one year in a few days. And to me it's like ten years have passed”

“Will you play another song to me?” Angie knows when it's time to change the subject. What she doesn't know is that the mood of the conversation won't get any higher with the second recording.

“Rooster was the nickname my dad's grandpa gave to him when he was a child,” I tell her before she even asks and I press STOP on the cassette player “because he had this cocky attitude hehe and  his hair, it used to stick up on top of his head, just like a rooster's comb, you know”

“Did you write a song about your dad?” Angie perfectly knows the whole messy story of my family and also knows how difficult it is for me to talk about it, although it was much less difficult with her.

“I wrote a song trying to put myself in his shoes, trying to imagine what an American soldier in Vietnam could think or feel in those moments. As you know, he never wanted to tell us anything”

“You should play this song to him”

“We'll see. If an actual song comes out from it, it could happen, who knows”

“That could be a way to reach out to him and reconnect, bring you closer”

“That's not why I wrote it”

“I know”

“I wrote it for no particular reason”

“Ok”

“It just came out like that”

“It just had to come out then”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes, I do. Can I listen to the last one?”

“This was the last one” I shamelessly lie.

“You mentioned three songs..”

“Yeah, well, it's like three tracks but two complete songs. The third one is just an instrumental” telling lies to Angie is still easy for me, like in the good old days. What I don't know is if it's still as easy for her to believe me.

“I wanna hear that one too” she folds her arms and gives me a bad look.

“Alright, I'm taking you home” I play dumb and turn on the car but Angie has a different idea and stretches out her hand to press PLAY on the stereo.

Here are the first chords of a song that's too slow and too soft and will never even be a fucking B-side on a band's single and that I'd never play to the guys, not even under torture. Also because it's so personal that they'd make fun of me for ages and I believe I already gave them enough reasons to do that. Luckily, in the first part of the song I had the idea to sing the melody with some mmm mmm mmm so I can reinforce the excuse of the instrumental piece.

“See? It's just a draft. It's just an asshole strumming and humming an improvised tune” I shrug and stop the tape, then take it out and sneak it into my jacket's pocket. Why am I like that? I shouldn't have gone to see Angie in the first place. Then, when I saw her and talked to her and asked her to come listen to the demo I tried and told myself it was just a trick so I could spend some time with her. But that's not true. I clearly wanted her to listen to this song too. Well, especially this song. And now? Am I chickening out or did I just realize it was a stupid idea? What did I expect from this? What did I want to get? Let her know that, as she goes on with her life, I'm still stuck with my bullshit?

“Well, it seems a nice draft”

“Too slow, too depressing, I don't know”

“Jerry?”

“Yes?”

“Is everything ok?”

“Sure, why?”

“I don't know, just asking” why I ask. It's only natural for her to wonder if there's something wrong with me. I just show up out of the blue where she works, I convince her to listen to some songs I wrote, then it all turns into some fucking psychotherapy session under cover.

“It's alright, it's just... just the same old shit, you know”

“The same old shit will always be the same if you don't deal with it, Jerry”

“I know. In fact, I'm dealing with it. Music is perfect for that, didn't you say it too?”

“Yes, but it's not enough”

“Yeah. Oh and sorry if I came and bothered you and took your time. It wasn't planned, you know, I just found myself there. I mean, it's not like I got to Roxy's by chance, I'd say that until a certain point I had no idea I was coming to see you. Then, you know, on the last mile...”

“Ok Jerry, I got it”

“I'm sorry”

“Don't be sorry, you have no reason to be”

“It's just that, well, it's easier with you. It's easier for me to talk to you, despite everything. Weird, right?” Angie knows everything, I don't owe her any explanation and now that we're not together anymore, I don't owe her anything. At the same time though, she doesn't owe me anything either. She doesn't have to listen to me.

“Well, a little weird but not too much. People love to vent with me, maybe I look trustworthy. Or just innocuous” Angie shakes her head and I think that she's not like that at all, considering that the (too short) time our paths crossed left a big deep mark on me.

“Innocuous? With your key brass knuckles? I wouldn't say so”

The drive to Angie's house lasts more than it should, 'cause I deliberately choose the slowes most trafficked road, but she's too kind to say anything. Or she doesn't even notice.

“So, good night. And thank you for the ride” she says as she holds her hand on the already open car door.

“Thank you for being my test subject, and for the opinions”

“No problem. Anyway, whenever you wanna talk or let me listen to something else... I'm here for you, ok?”

“Really?” I ask, not because I don't believe her, but because I perfectly know that she means what she's saying, that's she's really ready to suffer through the rants of a guy who can't open up emotionally with anybody but his ex, who's with another man now.

“Sure. Only because you acted like shit, that doesn't mean I, I don't know, that I wouldn't rescue you from a fire or offer you a hand as you're on the edge of a brink to pick you up. For the serious stuff, the things that really count, I'll always give you a hand” Angie shrugs as she's telling me beautiful things and by now I should just stop and admire her kindness and selflessness, get inspired by her concept of friendship, learn something from her total lack of resentment. But all I can do is fixating first on her eyes, then on her lips, and this time I doubt she didn't notice I have every intention of kissing her. And that must be why she tells me good night and sprints out of the car in a couple of seconds, running towards the entrance of her condo.

“Good night!” I yell through the window as she distractedly waves bye at me.

What the hell have I got myself into?

***************************************************************************************************************************************

What the hell have I got myself into? What am I doing now? Making promises I'm not sure I can keep? Sure, mine were such great words, they sounded very good, but will I be able to support them with actions? Will I truly always be there for Jerry, although he's been a jerk? Aspiring to be a better person is great but I think that, in my case, it's more like a sort of masochistic complacency. Because you know what? I love being good, acting like a good person and have everyone see me like that, like a kind and understanding young woman. Everyone, even those who wouldn't deserve any regard, well, especially those. You were a bastard to me, right? And now you're expecting from me to at least cross the street when I see you coming, aren't you? But no, instead I'm here listening to you as you vent, holding your hand and encouraging you, telling you everything is gonna be alright. Take that! It's not like I'm faking it or doing it on purpose but I can't deny there's this element of satisfaction in being the one who does the right thing, or better, who does the good thing no one would do. Now I know that when I tell Meg about what happened tonight, she will shake her head and tell me I'm stupid and that I should've just told Jerry to fuck off as he deserves. But what she'll actually think is that I'm too good, too kind, or something like that. Well, I adore being too good, it makes me feel... well, good, at peace with myself and the other people, because it's one of the few existing social roles I easily fit in, that I feel comfortable in. At least for a while. Because the problem is that if you decide that you're good, then you have to be it all the way, from start to finish, without any doubts, afterthoughts or shit. And that means that if I've just told Jerry I'll always be there for him as a friend, the next time I see him I can't just kick his ass because I suddenly remembered he cheated on me and totally disrespected me, not only as a girlfriend but first of all as a person. That's how it works with Jerry: I talk to him and it's like I'm interacting with a completely different person from the one who was with me, but it's not just rhetorical, it actually is like he's another guy, no upset, no tension between us. That is until something happens, a word, some noise, a fucking joke or anything that reminds me who's standing in front of me, and then I swear I'd throw stones at his face just like that, out of the blue. But no, you can't. Because if you've got the Jesus Syndrome you gotta be Christ all along, turning the other cheek and all the rest. You can't just enjoy your fame as a messiah, you have to get crucified at some point, or more often crucify yourself.

My inner rant takes a mystic turn right when I enter my apartment, maybe it all depends on the fact that as I'm inside I take my shoes off and on the ecstatic feelings my feet had as I did after spending the whole day standing. I grab the phone without even turning on the lights, I notice something scribbled on the notepad nearby but I don't look it twice since I guess it's a note from Meg telling me Eddie called looking for me. After all we were supposed to have a phone date... well, like an hour ago. I plop down on the couch, even though I know it's not the best thing to do and that I'd better reach for my bed, and dial the number by heart in the dark.

“Hello”

“Hi Eddie, were you sleeping?”

“Obviously not my dear... Wallflower?”

“Haha no, you're cold, sorry! “

“How cold?”

“North Pole I'll say”

“Shit”

“I'm never telling you, just give up”

“I'm gonna find out all the same”

“Oh really, and how?”

“I got my persuasion techniques, don't you know?” yes, I do know, that's why I drop the subject.

“Anyway, you're getting more and more unpredictable, I was sure you'd have answered with 'Is it Friday already?' instead of hello”

“I love to surprise you, kitty. By the way, is Friday yet?” he giggles, whereas I try to get off the couch but end up losing touch and rolling down on the carpet.

“WHAT THE- OUCH!”

“Hey, are you ok? What was that?”

“Huh nothing. Excuse me Eddie, what the actual fuck have you just called me?” I ask as I straighten on my side, stroking my sore buttcheek.

“Kitty, why?”

“Why, he says!”

“Are you actually talking to someone or is it just your usual imaginary audience?”

“Don't ever do that again”

“Aw come on, it's cute”

“That's what you think”

“And you like cats anyway”

“I like a lot of things, I like horror movies too, but that doesn't mean I'd let you call me poltergeist... although, well, thinking about it...”

“That's not bad but I prefer Kitty”

“I'd prefer anything rather than Kitty”

“Beware of what you wish for”

“Ugh do you mean you could come up with something worse?”

“Try me”

“And kitty doesn't make sense anyway”

“Sure it does”

“'Cause I like cats?”

“Because you have big beautiful cat eyes, you're sweet and cute but you know how to pull out your nails when needed... also literally. My back says thanks hehe” it's past midnight, I'm still lying flat on the rug and I'm blushing.

“It's just I don't like nicknames in general” the defense diversion mechanism kicks in by itself as I try to get back up.

“You like princess though”

“That's another story, it's not a couple nickname”

“The fuck are you talking about, it's the epitome of couple nicknames!”

“Ok but in our case it was a thing between friends” I finally sit back on the couch and instinctively hug one of the pillows.

“Haha friends my ass, had it been about friendship only, that nickname would have been born and dead that same night”

“Ok but technically it was born in friendship so it can go” I focus on the technical aspect because I still find it hard to acknowledge the fact Eddie has had this... crush (?) on me for a while. I mean, I rationally understand he didn't get a sudden epiphany on that morning in San Diego at the bus station and that he must have thought about it before that. But my irrational side hasn't realized yet that Eddie is with me, let alone comprehend he's been having an interest in me for months.

“Alright alright, what's wrong with kitty?”

“It's too... too sappy”

“It's a nickname, it's gotta be sweet, that's how it is”

“It's stupid”

“What were you expecting from a stupid guy like me, kitty?”

“Umph you're really stuck on that, huh?” I roll my eyes and I already know I'm not gonna win this, not even by mistake.

“You know what? I think it's not that you don't like it, it just... you're just embarrassed for some weird reason I don't know”

“That's not true” I retort clinging to the pillow.

“Yes, it is”

“No, it's not”

“Do you know the tone of your voice slightly changes whenever I say something and hit the target right?”

“Haha what... what the hell are you talking about?”

“Nothing. If you let me call you kitty, I'll let you call me whatever you want”

“Haha you mean you really do want to introduce it as an official nickname! You've been working on this for a while, haven't you? Confess!”

“No, it just came out like that, without thinking. And I'd have probably forgotten like two seconds later, if only you hadn't had that amazing reaction”

“It's basically my fault then”

“As always, princess”

“Princess or kitty? You gotta make a decision”

“Why choose? You can be both, I mean, you are both”

“If by any chance that word comes out of your pretty mouth in front of one of our friends you're-”

“HA! So that's the big deal! Is that what terrifies you? That the guys could hear it??”

“If something like that happens, you're dead, just so you know”

“You're too preoccupied with what people think, let me tell you”

“But not dead as in me kicking your ass, ripping you apart or literally killing you. It's just that from that moment on you'll simply stop existing to me, I'll mentally celebrate your funeral, cry a little, then I won't talk to you ever again and won't even acknowledge your presence in any way”

“Have I ever told you I love it when you're so dramatic?”

“Have I ever told you my threats are always real?”

“Ok ok, I promise I'll never use that name unless we're alone. Is that better?”

“Yes” as I said, I knew I'd never win this.

“Thank you, kitty. What do you wanna call me instead?”

“I'll call you Eddie and that's it”

“Look, I'm fine with a non sappy nickname too”

“Ed?” yeah, that's the most I can do.

“Hahahahaha”

“What the fuck are you laughing for?” actually I love it when he laughs, especially when he laughs at me, but he doesn't need to know.

“Wow, isn't it too intimate? I don't know if I'm comfortable with you calling me Ed”

“Fuck you, Ed”

“Especially in front of our friends”

“It's not something you can say on command, it just comes out spontaneously, didn't you say that? When I feel the urge to call you a stupid name, you'll know”

“Ok ok. Now, on a more serious note, is it Friday yet?”

“No, it's still two days before that”

“Technically one, it's waaay past midnight”

“So if you already know, why do you ask me?”

“Just checking on your level of attention”

“See what happens when you talk stupid shit on the phone? Time goes by fast”

“That was my goal from the beginning. Anyway we could have talked more stupid shit if you hadn't took your time. I've been here waiting for you since half past eleven”

“I didn't take my time, I've just come home. I mean, like a minute before I called you”

“Roxy makes you work extra hours? I can't understand why you're always the one closing up, they're called shifts for a reason, they're supposed to shift”

“I'm not always closing up. And I'm the one who asked for these shifts because they're more comfortable for me for multiple reasons. Anyway, I almost left on time tonight, I wasted some time later, but I wouldn't call it wasted time, since I got an exclusive preview! Or pre-listening, I don't know how to call it”

“Really? What did you do?”

“I heard a couple of demos by Alice that are gonna be in the next album. Well, that's what I think, because they're very good, although Jerry's not sure about that. But that's normal, 'cause Jerry doesn't understand shit” another fucking perfectionist songwriter like Eddie, they should get along in this.

“Jerry? Did you see him? Was he at the diner?” in spite of their supposed chemistry, the adorable and playful Eddie disappears in a second and the very moment he says Jerry's name, I know he's about to get mad just like the other night.

“No, I met him after work”

“You met him? Where? Did you go somewhere after work with your colleagues and-”

“Oh no, I met him in the streets”

“In the streets?”

“Yeah”

“In the street in front of Roxy's at eleven o'clock on a Wednesday evening?”

“Yes” the conversation is slowly turning into inquisition”

“And what was he doing there?”

“I don't know, he was out, I didn't ask him”

“Ask me”

“Hehe what?” I'm not an idiot, it's not like I'm here laughing knowing that Eddie must be fuming, literally having steam coming out of his ears right now. It's more a nervous chuckle I can't hold.

“Just ask me, I'll give you the answer”

“Eddie, I don't-”

“ASK. ME.” Eddie can convince me, although I prefer his other methods, the most enjoyable ones.

“Ok, what was Jerry doing there?”

“He came right to see you, obviously”

“It didn't come to see me” of course he came specificaly to see me. What I mean is that he didn't come with the idea to hit on me and get me back, like Eddie thinks. He just came looking for me because he didn't know where to go.

“Sure, and then?”

“Then what?”

“Then what happened? What did you do? Where did you go? Where did he play THIS FUCKING DEMO?” Eddie shouting through the phone startles me on the couch.

“Ok, easy there, calm down, why are you raising your voice?”

“''CAUSE I WANT TO”

“Eddie”

“'Cause I've been here waiting to talk to my girlfriend on the phone at least, since we couldn't meet in person tonight, while she was hanging out wandering around with her ex”

“I wasn't wandering around”

“Did you go directly to his place?”

“No”

“Did he came to your apartment? Maybe you even made him coffee”

“We stayed in the car, just the time to listen to two songs, then he took me home” I ignore his sarcasm because if I didn't, I'd end up using mine back against him and we wouldn't come out alive from this.

“In the car”

“Yes, where do you think he would he play the tape to me? Nobody went to nobody's place and Jerry's not going around with a boombox on his shoulder like John Cusack” here it is, my sarcasm couldn't resist, this discussion cannot end well.

“In the car” he repeats harshly.

“Yes, in the car”

“And where did you sneak off this time? Since the old parking spot is off limits now, you know...”

“We didn't sneak off anywhere, we were there, on the street. Is the interrogation over?”

“No. Did you kiss?”

“WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? What do you think??” I'm unwillingly loud but at the same time I don't wanna react too vehemently and give him the impression he struck a nerve and something really happened with Jerry.

“I don't know or I wouldn't ask”

“You really don't know? I mean, you seriously think I could kiss Jerry? And, most of all, that after kissing him, I could just call you and talk about cats, poltergeists, names and nicknames as if nothing happened?”

“I don't know Angie, I only know you're ex boyfriend showed up with the excuse of the demo and you couldn't resist. And considering the timing, I'm sorry, but I doubt you just listened to a couple of songs and then went straight home, unless Alice in Chains turned into prog rock and now make 15-minute long songs”

“We talked”

“About what?”

“It's personal”

“Oh well great! Perfect! I've got absolutely no reason to be upset then! You met your ex and you talked about your secrets, now I'm really calm, thank you!”

“Personal stuff about him, that has got nothing to do with me”

“Oh because you're Jerry's favourite confidant now, right. Why can't he go tell his bullshit to the girls he used to fuck behind your back?” well, wow, thank you Eddie, that was so tactful of you... I remain quiet for a moment before replying.

“And how would I know? I don't know, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. Why are you asking me about how he acts?”

“I'm asking you because you are my girlfriend, not his, just in case you forgot”

“I didn't forget. Maybe you did, given how you're treating me now” keeping calm is great but I didn't do anything, why should I be defensive? I don't like him at all when he's like this.

“Right, I'm the jerk here, after all you only went out with Jerry, I shouldn't get mad”

“Listen, I told you I saw Jerry, on my own initiative, without you asking shit. If I hadn't told you, you'd have never known. But I wanted to tell you and I told you, 'cause I've got nothing to hide and did nothing bad” fighting is one of the things I hate the most and I avoid at all costs. I hate fighting, it makes me anxious, even when I'm right, and that's why I often play dumb and close my eyes and ears, even when I shouldn't, even when I'd have something to say in the matter, because I simply don't wanna make a fuss and just wanna be in peace. In this case though, I can't really shut up, so I try and talk some sense into him.

“Ok, listen, I believe you didn't do anything, that nothing happened, I trust you. But I don't trust him. Can't you see he did it on purpose? It was a fucking excuse to see you” Eddie stops treating me like shit for a while but that doesn' make me feel that much better.

“That wasn't the case at all, I can assure you. But even if it was, I didn't do anything about it. He just asked me to listen to a couple of songs and give him my opinion, that's all”

“You could've said no. You could have told him you had to go home, that you had an appointment. Which you actually had, with me”

“Honestly I can't see anything wrong with listening to a couple of songs and half a vent of a friend, so I can't see why I should have said no” the appointment I had with him was a phone call, the world won't end because I called him a little later.

“Maybe because he's not a friend but he's your fucking ex?”

“Right because he's my ex, I can't see why you're jealous. It's in the past, it's over, I put multiple pins on it. If you're jealous, that's your problem” if there's one thing I can't stand is jealousy, I just can't, it's stupid, it's-

“If you can't see the problem, then you are the problem. Good night” the disconnect tone goes on for a while before I realize Eddie's just literally hung up on me. I'm weirded out, not just for that, but for the whole situation. What the fuck has just happened? How did we go from an easy phone call to World War III in a minute? Why did he get so mad? I don't know what to do, I wait for a couple of minutes, then try to call him back but his phone rings and rings and I get no answer.

“WHAT THE FUCK! Angie, what the hell are you doing there?” the lights in the living room suddenly go on and seeing me appearing on the couch out of the blue scares my room mate.

“Hi Meg, sorry”

“Sorry my ass! Ok, the Make your roommate shit in her pants championship has officially ended. You won, period. I give up” she walks up to me holding one hand on her heart and I already know now she'll sit with me, she'll sense in a second that somethig's wrong, I won't tell her shit at first, then I'll inevitably spit it all out, she'll confort me, insult Eddie, curse Jerry, then she'll tell me it's nothing that can't be solved, she'll give me advice that will not make sense to me but in the end will turn out to be just right and everything will be ok in the end. Maybe.

“Sorry, I was on the phone”

“Oh you called your friend back then” Meg completely disorientates me, as if I wasn't already confused enough.

“My friend?”

“Yes, Jane, your ex school mate. I left you a note...” Meg skips away then comes back holding the notepad I noticed before, beside the phone base. It only takes me that name, first mentioned by her, then written on the yellow sheet of paper, to immediately regain control of myself.

“Yeah yeah, I've just called her, thank you!” I get up from the couch and delicately but firmly take the notepad from Meg's hands, before tearing off the written page.

“Is everything alright? It seemed something urgent”

“Hahaha it's always urgent for Jane! Nuh, she just wanted to give me the big news, that she finally found a job. And give me her new number now that she has a place of her own” I take my bag, fish out my planner and stick my note in it, not to lose it. At least, that's the impression I wanna give Meg. I already have this number and I'd secretely love to lose it.

“718... uhm... what code is that, Texas?”

“New York”

“Wait, do you have a friend in the Big Apple? That's so cool! And what is she doing there?”

“She's a model. But her dream is to be an actress” it's be more correct to say that her dream is to be famous, actually to be adored. Possibly by everyone. But I don't feel like adding this detail, I don't even know why I'm talking with Meg about her.

“Will you direct her then one day? An actress and a direction: the perfect squad!” the enthusiasm expressed by my friend goes doesn't reflect my mood but I can't show that.

“Apart from the fact that I'd rather write than direct... don't worry, I still have a lot of burgers to serve before I get there” I zip up my bag and put it back on my shoulder.

“Why have you never told me about this Jane? It's the first time I hear about her, I thought you only had three friends” she doesn't give up and follows me across the hallway.

“That's right, I confirm the magnificent three. Jane is not really a friend, she's more... she's a more superficial acquaintance”

“It's nice of her to keep in touch though” yeah, sure, very nice indeed.

“Yeah, she's a good girl” I think she'd throw up if she heard me say this about her.

“What are you doing? Are you going out?” Meg stops me as I'm about to open the door instead of rushing into my room as she was expecting.

“Yeah, I'm out of cigarettes, I'm going to buy some, it'll take me a minute”

“And can't you just not smoke?”

“No, definitely not, Meg, trust me”

I leave, telling her to go to sleep since I've got my keys and she doesn't have to wait for me. I go downstairs in a flash and when I'm outside the condo I take a look at the windows on the fourth floor. They lights are all off again. That's better, I won't need to go around the block. I get into the nearest phone booth, put the money coin by coin into the pay phone as if they weighed a ton each and dial the number that's now inside my planner. But I don't need to take it out, I've been knowing it by heart for years now.

“Hello”

“What do you need?”

**************************************************************************************************************************

“Fuck, it's still too early” I tell myself as I look at my watch, which says it's a quarter to eight. And I should just throw away this fucking watch. Or sell it. I told Angie too, asking her if it was bothering her, but she looked at me as if I was crazy and asked me why. She doesn't care if every single day I wear the watch a girl who liked me bought for me, a girl I even kissed. Angie doesn't know what jealousy is, that angst that starts from the middle of your stomach and goes to your head, that makes you see everything black, that takes your breath away, like a sea monster emerging from the ocean that catches you off guard as you're swimming, wrapping its tentacles around you and immobilizing you, that convinces you that everything's lost. Angie doesn't even think about that, she didn't think about it last night, when she met Jerry, and not even when she told me, innocently, like it was normal. 'Cause to her it is normal. 'Cause it's most likely normal to everybody but me, the unstable jerk, who's been standing outside his girlfriend's house since six o'clock in the morning, waiting for her to come out so he can apologize and save the day. I had no intentions to wake her up early and I knew she wouldn't leave that early, but I couldn't stay at home any longer after a sleepless night, when I quite quickly went from anger to realizing the big mistake I had just made. I get out of my truck once again. I must have got out and in like five or six times in a couple of hours and the cigarettes butts of a whole pack are covering this shitty sidewalk. It's not raining but the air is cold. But I'm sweating. I stretch my hand through the half open truck window to retrieve the baseball cap I left on the passenger seat and I wear it. As I'm busy sticking all my hair under the hat, I hear the door open and see her walking out, while fixing her big scarf around her neck to protect herself from the wind. She doesn't look my way but comes towards me and I don't even need to put any effort into looking sad because as soon as I see her, my heart skips and I'm sure my natural expression is already the right one. I'm almost about to call her when, instead of walking right up to me, she turns to her right and goes who knows where. Didn't she see me? Did she see me and ignored me on purpose? I don't care. I throw the umpteenth cigarette away and follow her.

“Angie” she comes to a dead stop as she hears me calling her name and it clearly means that no, she didn't see me. She turns around and literally looked at me up and down, from head to toe, before stopping at my eyes and answering with a nod.

“Hi Eddie” she turns around and starts walkig again but slowly.

“I know you're mad at me, you've got every reason to be” I catch up and walk beside her, who's burying her face into her scarf, as if she wanted to hide herself from me.

“I'm not mad. You were the mad one, I think”

“I got upset for no reason, Angie, I'm sorry. I want to apologize”

“You were a fury”

“I know, I know, I was a jerk”

“You hung up on me and didn't even answer when I called you back”

“Better that way, trust me! I was out of my mind, who knows what else I could have said” well, maybe I shouldn't have said this.

“Ok, better this way then” Angie shrugs and subtly quickens her pace.

“Angie, can we just stop for a second? I need to talk to you, properly, not just walking like this”

“I got shit to do, I need to go to the bank and run some other errands before going to class”

“It'll only take a couple of minutes, Angie, please. Let me talk to you, I haven't slept all night” I delicately and cautiously circle her shoulders with my arm and gesture in the direction of the closest bench.

“Oh and what's new about that?” she asks with a weak smile. I guess she didn't get much sleep either.

“The news are that it's my fault this time.” I nod towards the bench “Please”

“Ok, just two minutes though” she rolls her eyes and gives up, sitting with me.

“So... well, as you might have guessed, I have a little problem with jealousy” I start confessing.

“No! Really?” she gives me that sarcastic smile of her and I feel a little better because maybe there's still I chance I didn't fuck up completely.

“I'm jealous. And it's my problem, as you said last night, you were right, you are right. As you didn't do anything, you never do anything, it's about me, it's not about the things you do or the way you act or shit like that. You could as well never leave your apartment and I'd be jealous of the pizza delivery guy because, the fuck I know, because he smiles a little too widely to you when you leave him the change as a tip”

“Well, yeah, considering the ridiculous paycheck they get, someone could actually fall in love for a tip, I can believe that” Angie keeps on making fun of me and I admit this makes me feel more and more comfortable.

“The fact is that nine times out of ten this thought flashes upon my mind, upsets me for a couple of seconds, then goes away and I forget about it. I mean, most of the times I can keep it at bay, I just ignores the voices in my head and go on with my life as nothing happened.

“We're not talking about actual voices, right?”

“Hehe no, just inner voices of conscience”

“Huh ok. And what happens that single one time out of ten instead?”

“What happens is that I lose my mind and say things I don't actually believe”

“Are you sure you don't believe them?”

“Angie, no, I don't believe them. I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I promise” I try and take her hands, kinda timidly, and she lets me do that.

“How can you promise that? If you lose control, like you said, how can you prevent that?”

“I can because I want to, because you're more important than anything”

“Eddie, listen to me,” she sighs and turns a little more towards me, still keeping her hands into mine “I can understand your jealousy. I mean, I can't accept it, I don't excuse it, but I can understand how it works, I guess what the mechanism is and what the triggers are. I know you must feel very insecure about yourself, although I have no idea how, since you're such a wonderful guy and I'd never leave you”

“Maybe there's someone more wonderful than me out there...”

“Who? Jerry Cantrell?” Angie doesn't waste any time and goes straight to the point.

“There must be something good about him if you got with him. And if you're still friend to him after... well, after he hurt you”

“Sure there's something good about him, but no potential boyfriend material for sure. Not anymore. And I don't know what else I should do to convince you”

“So why are you still talking to him? I don't mean you can't talk to him, I'm not that kind of guy, imposing things or telling you who you can hang out with or where you can go or shit like that. It's just that, I really can't understand how you can do it, I mean, if Beth came out of nowhere, looking for me and telling me she needs to talk to someone, my answer would be just showing her the middle finger”

“I'm not you” her reply is as quick as simple.

“Hehe I know. And thank god, I must add”

“That's the only explanation I got, that's how it is for me. Before he got with me, he was a friend, and what happened between us as a couple didn't change things. To be honest with you, I thought things would change, a lot, but as time went by I realized that to me Jerry went back being what he used to be before, no more no less: a friend”

“That's unbelievable, it's like you're separating the two things”

“It's not like that, it's exactly that. I separate the two things, the two relationships, the two Jerrys. There's my ex Jerry and my friend Jerry, the former has gone, the latter ha stayed” Angie shrugs as if she was explaining the most obvious thing in the world, but I don't even try to understand and I don't know if I should believe it or not. But I gotta make an effort if I want to make this work and not fuck it up now that it's just started.

“That's... a concept that's really far from my way of seeing things but... I can understand it”

“Same here with your jealousy. That's something really, really far from me but I can understand it. What I can't accept is the way you treated me because you were jealous.

“I know, Angie, I'm sorry”

“You said very bad things to me. And your voice... the tone of your voice was so mean, like you were trying to hurt me as much as you could”

“I told you, I just flipped out on you for no reason”

“I think your problem is not with jealousy but with rage. As soon as you feel in danger, you attack, blindly. It's not the first time I see this in you but not at this level” ok, guilty as charged. Angie has known me for less than six months and she's been with me for a few weeks and she already has me pretty well figured.

“I know, it's a mess. I am a mess.” I lean down and rest my head on her lap, without letting go of her hands “I hoped you'd never see this side of my character” I was just fooling myself, of course it came out almost immediately as we got closer.

“I'm a mess as well, we all are. But when you're deliberately mean to someone, to hurt them, well, that's where I draw a line, that's my limit. What am I supposed to do with sappy nicknames, if you then take your frustrations out on me?” I knew that, she's breaking up with me. She put up with me long enough though.

“It's over, isn't it?”

“WHAT? What are you talking about?” Angie lets go of my hands and grabs at my head, gently forcing me to turn around and look at her.

“Aren't you breaking up with me?”

“Hehehe who's the dramatic one now?” she pushes my head back down, takes off my hat and puts it on her head, before playfully messing up my hair.

“But you said that's your limit...”

“Do you think I'd break up with you after one fucking fight?”

“No?” am I safe?

“Next time you get upset for some reason, before insulting me, just take a nice deep breath and talk to me, openly, tell me what's wrong, what you're afraid of and how I can help you. Or you can as well insult me but only if I deserve it or if you believe there's a valid reason. I mean, it's ok to discuss, fuck, it's ok to fight too, although I hate fighting and I'd do anything to avoid it. But I admit that it can happen and it's not necessarily bad if there's a reason. Well, I wanna be free to fight with you without risking an emotional breakdown every time, ok? Because, as I already told you, I'm a mess too, just like you, I've got my problems as well, don't you know? Can't you see how hard it is for me to express a single fucking feeling? To a certain extent, I kind of envy you, you know?” what she says leaves me speechless at first because it's so... mature. I'm here whining like an annoying brat, whereas she's rationally examined the situation and is just telling it like it is.

“You envy me? Do you think that being a slave to your emotions is better? Every time is like flipping a fucking quarter in the air, I throw it and I have no idea what will come out: how am I doing today? Good? Bad? Happy? Mad? Jeff and Stone could place bets on me” I sit back up like a normal person and notice one of my shoes is half-untied.

“Well, my quarters are never flipped, I just push them down into the piggy bank, one by one, and I keep them there. At least until Christmas comes and you need to break the piggy bank and then BAM! They come out all together” I'm about to tie my shoe when Angie gets there before and ties it for me as she speaks, then takes my hands in hers once again.

“Can I borrow your piggy bank?” I ask her before I get that kiss I was afraid I wouldn't get anymore.

“Ok, but only if you let me flip your quarters from time to time” she smiles at me and now I'm sure: I'm safe.

“I'm sorry, Angie, for real”

“I don't need you to say you're sorry, I need you to not be an asshole anymore”

“Ok”

“And if something's wrong, you just tell me and we can talk about it, like adults”

“Ok”

“Because I'm not your punching bag”

“No, you're my...” I wait for her to figure out what I want to say and to react to the provocation. Finally she turns around abruptly and gives me that nasty look of hers I love.

“Don't you dare”

“Why? You said I could”

“Not in public”

“But nobody's around” I look around and the few passers-by don't give a fuck about us.

“Do you think that since I didn't break up with you for the scene you made last night, then I won't cut you off for calling me kitty? You could be surprised”

“HA! You said it. By saying it, you automatically accepted it as official nickname”

“Says who? You?”

“Yes, kitty” I whisper into her ear because I'm ok with risking but I don't wanna push it too far.

“What the hell have I got myself into?” Angie rolls her eyes for the nth time and I'm afraid forher it'll soon become a habit with me.

“You got no idea, trust me”

“I don't wanna fight with you anymore”

“I can't wait to fight again though”

“Haha what?”

“Only you can turn a fight into an open hearted confrontation about emotions, feelings and how to handle them. I like talking with you about these things, I like talking to you, I like you”

“I like you too,” Angie gives me a peck on my nose then stands up “but I really have to go now”

“Huh so wasn't it just an excuse to avoid me? You really got things to do?” I joke as I stand up too and I pretend to ignore the fact she's just told me she likes me, without blushing or being ashamed, without me asking her or trying to extract a confession with torture.

“Yes and I gotta hurry up”

“When does school end?” I puff as I get my cap back and put it on my head.

“Tomorrow's the last day”

“Finally! How long is your spring break, one week?”

“Ten days”

“That's even better... listen, I was thinking... well, actually I didn't think about it before, I'm thinking  about it just now as I'm speaking. What if we just leave for a few days, you and I?” I take her hands again, actually I take her by her wrists and softly stroke the inside with my thumbs. I know she likes that.

“Leave to go where?”

“Wherever you wanna go. Just to take a break and spend some time alone, would you like that?”

“I don't know, aren't you busy with the movie and the album recording?”

“Yes but we could leave this weekend, what do you think? It just makes me mad that I'll be busy right when you're on holiday and we could see each other more.

“I don't know, Eddie. Actually I had already signed up both with Roxy and Hannigan to work some extra hours, in the weekend and also during the week, you know, to save some more” she looks down too often, there must be something wrong.

“Oh ok... but is everything alright?” I shake her a little, prompting her to look at me and be honest.

“Sure, why?”

“I don't know. Do you need money?”

“Hahaha who doesn't?” Angie backs up from me and gestures for me to walk with her.

“Hehe no, I mean, maybe you have some problem and you need money for that”

“My problem is the same old problem: paying the bills, rent, college and books. Or books' photocopies, those cost too” we walk side by side as Angie counts her expenses on her fingertips.

“Well, ok, but your parents are helping you, right? Ray doesn't look like the type of dad who freaks out if you don't pay your part at the beginning of the semester but a little later”

“That doesn't count, it's a matter of principle. When I make a commitment, I follow through with it”

“Sure and that's great. But you know, there's nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it” I go on and I don't immediately notice Angie has stopped.

“Ok, now this is the kind of advice I should get as a tattoo, if I ever got one. So maybe I'll finally follow it” I turn around and see her standing on the first step of the stairs outside the bank.

“Everybody comes to you when they need help, what about you?” I walk back and hug her.

“I call you if I have a spider at home”

“You can call me for anything else too, you know that, right?”

“Thanks.” she kisses me again and this time she can't help looking around to check if someone we know is nearby “Anyway, everything's ok, it's just about every day needs, don't get weird ideas or something, really”

“Ok”

“I really gotta go now. Can I call you on lunch break?”

“You don't need to ask me”

“I'll correct my question: will I find you at home if I call at lunch break?”

“Yes”

“I'll call you later then, have a good day” she gives me another (too) quick kiss and leaves as quickly.

“Later... Whirpool??”

“You're so cold, you're freezing!”

'If something's wrong, you just tell me and we can talk about it' that's what you told me. I hope you know the same goes for you as well.

[whatsmylaneagain]

Amethyst - Third Chapter

Pairing: Eggsy x Agent!Reader

Word count: 1960 (a big one!!! Yay!!!)

Warnings: swearing, Roxy mention (bc she deserved more), reader’s character being a rebellious lil shit, Eggsy being kinda dumb (oh well this is all kinda narrated by his point of view, there’s no way to not expect that, right?!)

Chapter synopsis: so, we know that the bomb had Eggsy’s name on it, but.... what the hell is actually happening?

A/N: GUYS IM BACK AND IM SORRY!!!! I’ve written (and revised) this more than six months ago, but I absolutely hated how I made Eggsy a dumb character, so I spent all this months putting this story aside to fix it later... but I love it so much and this week I watched Spies are Forever and oh well.... idk, its been too long, but I’m posting this anyway.

Amethyst masterlist

Eggsy didn’t expect to find another person other than Harry and Merlin at the Kingsman’s meeting room. And what he definitely didn’t expect was for the person to be a beautiful Chinese woman laughing and having a drink with Harry Hart. The young man felt like he was invading a private moment, and had the sudden urge to grab y/n by the arm to show her the new victorian-style sconces he chosen for the rebuilt hallway.

But before he could say anything, y/n had already tapped the doorpost, making their presence known. The middle-aged woman talking to Harry glanced at the two young agents, giving the girl a sly smile. 

“I’m glad to know you didn’t punch Mr. Unwin on your way here, y/n” she said, as Eggsy went straight for his chair on Harry’s right side.

“I would’ve if you didn’t send me that text” The girl had moved to the woman’s side, backing up to the wall for support. She never made mention of pulling a chair.

“Well, y/n, I take as you already know Harry.” Said the woman, gesturing to the older man, who smiled sweetly. Yes, that’s right. Harry SMILED.

“Of course, The Great Harry Hart, the man of a thousand missions;” when Eggsy thought he couldn’t get more confused, y/n pulled this. “Everybody at the headquarters knows who you are.” And some - fucking – how, she sounded genuine, and not witty or arrogant as she appeared to be. Was that… admiration?

Seeing Eggsy’s confused expression, the older woman gave him a small smile, welcoming, but not too sweet; just like an agent is used to do.

“Galahad, I’m Yijun, or as my agents – or people who can’t bother to learn how to pronounce it - call me, Circe. I’m the head of Amethyst, the agency that y/n works for.”

Eggsy must have looked very confused, because Harry intervened, while pouring two more drinks, giving him one and sliding the other across the table, towards y/n.

“Yijun is an old friend, we met some weeks after she came from China. I was already a Kingsman, and was trying to bring her into the organization – just like I did with you – when she was recruited as an Amethyst trainee.”

“You knew?” Started Eggsy, a little bit of irritation shaping his words. After agent Whiskey, he knew better than not to trust Harry. But he couldn’t help the feeling of being a pawn. “Why did you let me go after her then?”

“I didn’t know the agent who saved you was y/n. All I knew was that she was an Amethyst, since the intervention was fast and clean.”

“-almost clean;” Yijun turned her chair to y/n, who was taking a sip out of her drink, still leant against the wall. “If Morgan’s work were perfect, you wouldn’t be able to find her.”

“Nobody’s perfect, but I try my best.” She shrugged. “’m still your best agent tho.”

“Please,” Merlin entered the room, an IPad in hands, ready to the briefing. “put the blame on me for being able to hack into almost anything, including London’s surveillance cameras. She did a wonderful job.”

Merlin stopped right in front of y/n, extending his hand for a handshake. She grabbed it immediately.

“Miss Le Fay. Hope our codenames won’t be a problem.” 

“I don’t see why, Sir Merlin. The witch from who I borrowed my name could very easily have been Merlin’s apprentice.”

No awkward pressure thing, from what Eggsy could see. Why were his interactions with her so bloody awful? For god’s sake, y/n was joking with Merlin!

It took him a moment to remember what history the two were referring to: Morgan Le Fay was a witch in King Arthur’s story, from where Kingsman got their codenames. Depending on the version, she can be portrayed as Merlin’s enemy, responsible for the death of King Arthur or as a powerful good woman, that had healing powers and could shape shift. For an organization like Amethyst, Eggsy supposed the second option was the one they had in mind.

Merlin greeted Yijun with a respectful “ma’am” before selecting something on his device, the projection of a document showing up on the wall above y/n.

“The techs over Amethyst sent us their reports on missing people, and turns out the man who you two,” Merlin looked at Eggsy and y/n. “saw is Adrian Bell. Seven months ago, he apparently went on a trip to India, but his family didn’t hear about him after he left. He never showed up on the airport camera footage.”

“So... he planned to disappear?” Interfered Eggsy.

“Apparently, yes. But there’s a problem.” Merlin changed the projection, it now being a series of pictures, especially ones where Bell hugged his family tightly, his wife crying, and his kids glued to his leg. It looked like a reunion. “He doesn’t remember anything and woke up asking for his family. His last memory was being in a bar and passing out. He thinks that he was in an alcoholic coma.”

Eggsy was about to ask a lot of questions, but Merlin had started talking again, while taking two Kingsman’s RayBans out of his pocket, giving each woman a pair. 

“I’ve made a partnership with the group of cooperative organizations led by Amethyst, also called D.E.A.R; Diamond, Emerald and Amethyst Relations -” Introduced Merlin, but Eggsy wasn’t really paying much attention to him. 

Instead, he was observing y/n, who hesitantly spun the glasses in her hands, analysing it, differently from Yijun, who just put them on right away. Her mouth twitched on the side, and she started to bite her tongue, as if trying to distract and put herself together. Y/n put them on, but kept looking down for some seconds, before fixing her posture and raising her head, crossing her arms, still leant against the wall on one shoulder.

It was quite weird seeing y/n wearing the glasses. Even though she had noting that could possibly remind him of Roxy, Eggsy couldn’t stop the deja vu of his best friend. A sad smile adorned his lips. He missed her.

A Kingsman-style hologram of a young 16-year-old girl appeared sitting on one of the chairs, big extravagant round sunglasses framing her face along with bright pink streaks on her brown hair. Although she was a teenager (and dressed like one, in a jean jacket and a white tee that said “girl power” in red), she sat perfectly straight, very professionally.

“Good evening, gentlemen. I’m Tonks, Emerald’s tech and field agent. I just came back from an information gathering mission.” which, as a previous Emerald’s agent, y/n knew was just a fancy description for attending parties. Nothing too dangerous, especially for Emerald’s missions, that were more based in socialization and keeping an eye on people. Actually, y/n was impressed that Tonks had something substantial to report (especially to Kingsman) in a high school party. “A group of unmatchable individuals seems to be working together, all of them acting really uncharacteristic and very patronized. I detected the group spiking other teen’s drinks. I managed to intervene and get a sample of it. Agent Spellman also reported a strange movement, alike the one I observed, with a college group. We sent the samples to our biotechs, and the lab concluded it was a modified Mikey Pinn.” The girl grabbed her phone and sent something, the IPhone message sound reverberating through the room. “Now you have access to our outhouse cameras, Merlin.” 

Merlin quickly changed the projection above y/n to eight squares of video that showed each teen in one small room, some asleep on the beds, some walking around nervously, and one passed out on the floor. Tonks started talking again.

“Spellman and I brought the group of high school and college students to our outhouse. Whatever drug they’re on soon will wear off, and then we’ll be able to analyse what happened to them.”

“Was that the first ever occurrence on your field, Tonks?” Asked Yijun, and then turned to the Kingsman’s, explaining; “Emerald agents that work on high schools usually only have to get in action to stop violence and abuse at their missions. Situations like what we’re dealing with right now is uncharacteristic.”

“No, Boss. Some students stopped going to classes suddenly, but we checked: they all were confirmed on exchange programs abroad. Apparently, they never went.”

Y/n wasn’t leant on the wall anymore. She’d walked to the table, bent over it, hands open, pressed on the cold wood, all her attention on Tonks. Tension.

“Who were the kids? High school and college. Why choose them?” She said.

Tonks flipped through her phone, messaging Merlin more documents - the ring once again filling the room - before answering.

“A rugby player, two perfect grade kids and a foreign student were the high school kids. Apparently, it’s a pattern: physically strong people and awarded students that stand out for their knowledge of exact sciences.”

“Have you tracked were they were drugged the first time?” Continued y/n.

“Not yet, but...”

“I did;” said Merlin, suddenly, typing on his IPad.

A new image showed up on the wall. The front of a bar that looked like it used to be fancy ten years ago. Now, the paint was coming off the walls, and the huge opaque black doors were rusted, chains and a big old padlock kept them closed. It had no name on the outside, only a broken light up waning crescent moon, just the inferior part working, shining in a weak yellow light.

Eggsy knew the place. Actually, every teen and young adult in London knew Moonz: the flat broke bar that let underage kids come in and drink. You didn’t even need a fake ID, they would pretend to not be able to do math and let kids in. In some months, it became domain of teens, turning into a considerably safe place for them to get drunk and party. Also, it was the cheapest place to get booze.

But the underage drinking caused a bigger problem; since it was illegal, the neighbourhood didn’t have a lot of cops because the owner kept them away. Consequently, Moonz’s location became a centre of violence, kidnapping, and other heavy crimes.

The young Galahad saw y/n turn to the projection in slow motion, the act of being casual being thrown out of the window. For Eggsy, she looked like a robot who got rebooted and installed a completely different system of command. When she spoke again, her voice was strong and deep.

“Tonks, do you know when it started?”

“It?” Asked Eggsy. 

“The kidnappings.” Y/n answered. “The fact that they were drugging others looks like it was a kidnapping system. In this context, those kids were “recruiting” more teens.” 

Tonks checked her phone.

“No, Morgan. We couldn’t track it. They apparently are the first ones to come back.”

“Shit.” Y/n paced around the room. “Boss, permission to do an observation and protection mission at Moonz.”

“Permission granted” nodded Yijun “take Galahad with you.”

“Yi, I don’t think the gentlemen can pass as a teenager.” Y/n had stopped walking. She looked straight into Eggsy’s eyes. “With all due respect...”

Yijun shook her head. 

“You know there are other ways to get him inside undercover.”

Y/n ran her fingers through her hair, taking a deep breath. Eggsy could almost hear her thinking “Fuck. Fine.”.

“C’mon Galahad, we’ve got a job to do.”

Eggsy and Y/n were almost out of the room when Yijun called her agent again.

“Oh and Y/n.” The girl turned around. “Don’t engage. I’ll send Emerald agents to protect the kids, but you and Galahad can’t have your covers blown up. Do. Not. Engage. Do you understand?”

All Y/n did was nod slightly.

If you made it to here, thank you so much! I hope it was worth your time! Some feedback would be appreciated, I really wanted to see if you liked this (dumb) Eggsy I’m presenting.... If you don’t want to be in the taglist anymore, I totally understand! Just message me :)

Also!!!! Feel free to message me any questions about the fic and this chapter! I have some fun reasons for choosing those codenames and Diamond, Emerald and Amethyst as the names for the organization!

Amethyst taglist

@a-dorky-book-keeper @50shadesofuncomfortable @arizonacolleen @infinity-of-high-dreaming @toasty-fish @pink-smarties @mc225g @dadd-ilf @sueeatstheworld @katorgatorgalaxy @the-ink-and-salt-club @incorrect-mcdanno @xelizabethvalentinex @ahyestheandersons @thatdamnokie @wxxnks @awesomewees @ryedikkulus @discodeak @clacestan @y-dadd

(If you got the notification again, sorry! I had a problem with the taglist and had to do it again!

[brywrites]

i just finished tkow and this may sound like a wild request but can we get a story for elizabeth’s birthday? maybe like her turning 5? and reid and bianca throw her a party?

A lil more “domestic Reid family fluff” coming your way, anon!

-

Elizabeth had a thing for frogs that year, and so their living room was decorated with green streamers and paper mâché, little green stickers and posters, and plenty of big-eyed, smiling amphibians. The day had been a flurry of activity as they welcomed a dozen small children into their home – friends from preschool as well as Michael and Hank. Henry hung around with adults, mostly excited to tell his godfather all about what he’d learned about planets at school. There had been games of leapfrog and tag out in the backyard, and Garcia had brought her ukulele to perform a silly song-based skit about tadpoles growing up and turning into frogs.

The party had been an all-around success, as far as fifth birthday parties went. The cake had won over their small guests – fluffy layers of chocolate with ganache in the middle and bright frosting that that featured a happy frog on it that Bianca had lovingly hand-baked. The frog- themed scavenger hunt Spencer set up around the house kept them busy for nearly half an hour. And Eliza had a smile on her face the entire time. When things wound down and her friends headed home, she’d been eager to try out her new frog-shaped kite and Garcia had begged for permission to take her out to the backyard.

“I’ll keep a close eye on her,” she’d insisted. “Besides Luke and I would love to spend a little quality time with our favorite birthday girl!” And so they’d agreed. It gave them time to tidy up and take a moment to breathe, for which they were both grateful.

Bianca checked the living room to make sure nothing was left behind, and when she returned she found Spencer standing at the kitchen counter with a gift-wrapped bag and a snickerdoodle cookie on a plate. There was a tiny candle stuck in the center of it, it’s flame flickering softly.

“What’s this?” she asked.

He broke into one of those crooked grins she so dearly loved, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he held the plate out to her. “Happy birth day.”

His words were a puzzle, she was certain, but she couldn’t quite work them out. She tilted her head in question. “But it’s not my birthday.”

“No,” he said. “But it is the day that you gave birth.” He sent the bag and plate down on the counter. “I was just thinking the other day about birthdays and what they mean. And make no mistake, I absolutely love that we get a whole day to celebrate each other’s existence. Because I am so happy that our daughter exists. But if we’re being honest, you did all the hard work that day.”

When she laughed he said, “It’s true! Childbirth is consistently rated as one of the most painful human experiences, and as someone who has been shot, I find it difficult to comprehend what a pain worse than that must have felt like. You were in labor for seven hours! Seven hours! And before that, you were so nervous about being a mother. You dealt with all those fears and changes, not to mention me being in prison.” Five trips around the sun later, and looking back on that year of their life was still difficult. “So I thought that you deserved a little celebration for all of that, and for being the best mom and partner in the whole of human history.”

“The whole of human history? That might be overselling it.”

“I’m a genius,” he said, winding an arm around her waist. “So it has to be true.” Then he grabbed the plate once more. “Quick, make a wish before it burns out.”

Bianca looked down at the flickering candle. And she glanced out the window where Penelope and Luke were kneeling in the grass to help Eliza hold tight to the handle of her kite, flying somewhere up out of view.  Then looked at Spencer, smiling at her, standing in the kitchen of the house they’d built a home in. It had been five years of bliss since Elizabeth Luna Reid came into the world. It wasn’t always easy and certainly it wasn’t perfect, but they were a family and they were happy and they were home.

She shook her head. “What am I supposed to wish for? Everything I could ever want is right here.”

Spencer considered this. “Well then,” he said. “I’ll make a wish for you. I wish for you to always be safe. For every book you read will be a good one, and every poem you write will have just the right words. For have a long and happy life. And for you to always know just how loved and celebrated you are. Because you are so loved, Bianca.”

He blew out the candle with a gentle breath. “Do you remember the day we first met? I told you I had an eidetic memory and you-” he laughed “- you apologized to me, saying that you wished you were giving me happier memories than a few dozen files of crimes against humanity.”

“Did I?” she asked. She could never forget the first time she saw him or the words they exchanged the day or so many other moments in their life, but she didn’t remember that very first conversation other than fleeting memories of being surprised by Garcia and Morgan’s banter and being fascinated by Spencer.

“You wished for something for me that nobody else had before. And then you made it true. You’ve given me so many happy memories since that day.”

“You gave me a home,” she said. “And a family. And the kind of love I thought I’d only ever write about. You make me happy every day.” She pulled him close enough to kiss, feeling him smile against her lips. His hands slipped under the hem of her shirt, his fingers warm against her skin as he pressed her to him. In the business of the birthday party, she’d hardly had a moment alone with him all day, and it felt so good to be held by him.

“Shield your eyes, Eliza Lou!” Garcia shouted. “You don’t want to catch the cooties!” They spun around to see Luke and Garcia in the living room. Penelope covered Eliza’s face with her hands, and the little girl stood there laughing, clutching her frog kite tight.

“You’re not trying to catch up to the Morgans are you?” Luke teased. Savannah had just given birth to their second child two months ago.

“Oh no,” Bianca laughed, her cheeks turning pink. “One is enough for us.”

“After all, why mess with perfection?” Spencer said, lifting Elizabeth into his arms and kissing her cheek. They bid farewell to Luke and Garcia who had to go let Roxy out and sat down with Eliza to help sort through her birthday presents.

She was telling them all about her friends and the games they played today when she paused, looking at a book in her hands that had a frog in a cape on the cover. “Daddy, did you used to be a superhero?” she asked suddenly.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked.

She shrugged. “Michael said that you used to be a superhero like Aunt Jennifer is. But that you’re not anymore.”

Oh. That kind of superhero. “Well,” Spencer said. “Yeah, I guess I was. We all used to work together to fight bad guys – me and a lot of your aunts and uncles. Grandpa Dave, too.”

“He said that you stopped being a superhero because of me,” she said. Her lip quivered as she looked at her father. “Did you hafta give up your superpowers because of me?”

Spencer’s expression fell at the same time Bianca felt her heart sink. Their daughter’s question had come seemingly out of the blue but now she understood. They hadn’t told her much about Spencer’s past in the BAU, figuring it was best to wait until she was old enough to understand. Michael must have told her something, and while she was sure that he had meant no harm, Elizabeth had misunderstood his words. She thought he wasn’t allowed to be a hero because of her.

“Oh sweetheart, no,” he said. He reached out to stroke her hair, trying to calm her. “No, that’s not true. I didn’t have to give up any superpowers. But I stopped chasing the bad guys when you were born because there were bad guys that wanted to try and hurt you and mama. I didn’t want you to get hurt, and I knew that all of my friends like Aunt Jennifer could stop the bad guys without me. I didn’t want to be a superhero anymore. I just wanted to be your daddy. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Eliza decided, her smile returning. “You can still be my hero. And mama!” she added.

Spencer laughed, grabbing her in a hug. He reached over to grab Bianca’s hand. “Yeah, your mama is my hero, too. So, was it a good birthday?”

“The best birthday ever!” she said. “I was so happy the whole time!” She threw her small arms out wide to demonstrate just how much that was.

“Us too,” Bianca said. “You make us so happy, Eliza Lou. And we love you so, so much.”

“I love you more,” she said, clambering into her mother’s lap and hugging her tight. Bianca kissed her forehead. Five years ago, their little family had grown by one person, and she remembered holding that small baby girl in her arms for the first time and thinking that nothing had ever been so perfect. But as each year went by, the happiness of that day seemed only to increase exponentially. Happy memories that they got to share together, and a million little wishes that were still to come true.

[atomic-taco-muffin]

The Legend of Hana Part 40

Warnings: *weird ass dance* More angst

Rating: SFW

Axel and Xion stood in front of Ansem’s mansion, weapons in hand and ready to fight, much to their dismay. 

“You said you have no intention to return...they’re gonna destroy you!” Axel said. 

“It’s for the good of everyone. It’s what I’ve decided. Xion gripped her Keyblade tightly and charged at Axel to attack him but he blocked the attack with his chakrams. 

“What’s your problem?! You little brat!” he yelled. They continued to attack each other and both jumped away to give each other distance. “You both...think you can do whatever you want! Well I’m sick of it! Go on! You just keep running! ‘Cause I’ll always be there to bring you back!” 

Xion looked at him, tears brimming her eyes. She hated that she had to do this but she had no other choice. 

                                                          ☽✧☽✧

Axel arrived in the Castle That Never Was, carrying a passed out Xion while trying to stay conscious himself.  

“Tch...I think...I’m not gonna make it...” Axel groaned. His legs suddenly gave up and he fell to the ground, dropping Xion in the process. 

Damn...am I gonna disappear here...? Someone’s coming...

Axel saw three people walk up to him and knew exactly who they were. It was Xemnas and the twins! 

“Wow. Was not expecting you to be so weak,” Anti-Roxy said as Xemnas picked up the unconscious Xion. 

“You’ve done well,” Xemnas said to Axel. The three of them walked away and all Axel could do was watch with hazy eyes. 

Stop...this isn’t what I wanted...

Axel fell unconscious and Saïx walked up to him. 

“What was it...were you trying to protect me this whole time?” he asked. 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

In Vexen’s lab, Xion laid in a tube filled with liquid. Standing outside of the tube was Xemnas and the twins. Xion slowly opened her eyes and saw them standing there. 

This place...I’ve been brought back...Xemnas...Roxy...Yui...

The three of them smirked as they watched Xion in the tube. The door opened, alarming the three slightly, and Saïx had walked in. 

“You’re slow. What took you?” Anti-Yui asked. 

“...My apologies, Your Highness,” Saïx replied as he walked over to them. “I was tracking down Roxas’ location--”

“There’s no need,” Xemnas interrupted. “This puppet alone is more than enough now.” 

“What is the state of those devices?” 

“I heard that they’re fully functional,” Anti-Roxy said. 

“You are correct, Roxy,” Xemnas replied. 

“Well then, let’s put them to use,” Anti-Yui said. 

What...?!

Xion watched as the four of them talked and was in shock of what they were going to do. 

“From here on, you’ll be the ‘completed’ result,” Xemnas said. Xion gasped in shock as all of Sora’s memories rushed through her, causing her head to hurt. 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

Back at Ansem’s mansion, Naminé looked out the window and thought of Roxy. Why did she look like that? Why did she act different than she usually did? She also thought about Xion and where she was. Was she safe? Is the Organization gonna hurt her? 

“How much longer are those wretched Dusks going to linger?” DiZ asked. 

“Xion...I hope she is safe...along with Roxy,” Naminé said. 

“It does not matter what path she takes, she’ll disappear in the end anyway. As for Roxy, that Spirit deserves whatever pain comes her way. Why pray for such nonsense?” Hearing those words, broke Naminé’s heart. Why would he say such a thing?

“Even though her outcome is the same...she still has the right to choose. And do not talk about Roxy that way. She has done nothing wrong. She’s just blinded but the despair that is going on with her family. But I know that she will fight it. I can feel it inside me.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s the daughter of Xemnas. She’s dangerous.” Naminé fell silent, not sure of what to say. Roxy wasn’t dangerous. At least to her, she wasn’t. “Tch. What other ways are you open to the puppet? In the end, she’ll disappear all the same. One can never defy their fate. That goes the same for that Spirit...and for Roxas.” 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

In Twilight Town, Roxas hugged his knees to his chest he watched Rumi’s siblings played together, but still had no memories of their life with her and Ansem. 

“The loser has to eat all of the ice cream!” Hayner said as he ran. 

“No fair, Hayner!” Pence complained. 

“What am I doing here again...?” Roxas asked himself. There almost seemed no point of being here. “Where did you go, Xion?” 

A boot step up to the edge of the clocktower and Roxas saw what appeared to him was Xion with her hood up, covering up her her entire face. She sat down which made Roxas happy. But also worried in a way. 

“Xion...?! How...? I thought...I’d never see you again,” he said. Xion didn’t say anything and pulled out two ice creams and gave one of them to Roxas. “Thank you.” 

The two of them sat in silence as they watched the triplets and ate their ice cream. It was a beautiful day to do so. 

“Actually, I quit the Organization too,” Roxas said as he finished his ice cream. “But I didn’t have a clue of where I could go. What a joke right? Hey. What say you and me run away together?” 

Xion didn’t say anything and stood up, surprising Roxas. 

“Xion?” Roxas asked.

“Even if I’m not ready...I have to make this choice,” Xion said as she took off her hood. “Look at me, Roxas. Who do you see?” 

The thing was, it wasn’t Xion. But Sora. 

“If you see someone else’s face...a boy’s face...then that means I’m almost ready...this ‘puppet’ will have to play her part,” Sora said, but in Xion’s voice (am I right? I’m too lazy to check). 

“...Xion?” Roxas asked, shocked. 

I had to go back...and return to where I belong. Because I am Sora. 

“Roxas. This is him...this is Sora,” Sora said. 

“So...Sora...” Roxas replied. 

My incomplete body still yearns...for the power it still lacks...and now, it will use Roxas. But I have no intention of playing along with Xemnas’s plan. 

“You’re next...” Sora said as his body started to change. “I have to make you a part of me, too.” 

Roxas watched as Xion (Sora) turn into her final form with shock. What could he do? 

“Don’t you see? This is why I was created,” she said as she moved away from the clocktower. “This is my final form...That is why I must take back Roxas and be complete. That is my purpose as a ‘puppet.’”

“Being a puppet...doesn’t matter to me anyway,” Roxas said, gaining some confidence. “We’ve still been smiling all this time together. Xion is still Xion! She will always be our best friend!”

From inside Xion’s final form, she felt guilty for doing this. She didn’t want to hurt her best friend. She wanted to help him find a way to bring the girls back from their anti-forms. She wanted to be considered family again. 

Roxas...I’m so sorry. 

Xion thrusted her weapon at Roxas, hitting him in the shoulder and making her groan. 

“Don’t make me laugh!” she said. She took the injured Roxas and threw him away from the clocktower. A magical force kept him from falling as he slid away from the clocktower. 

Hurry! 

Xion charged at Roxas as if she had no control of her body and hit Roxas harder. 

“...Ngh...why...Xion...” Roxas groaned. 

“I’ve had enough. I’m done with this ‘friendship’ act,” Xion said, making Roxas gasped in shock. Xion would never say something like that. This had to be Saïx’s doing. 

Hurry...! Please put an end to me...! 

Roxas summoned his Keyblade and struck at Xion, sending her flying back toward the clocktower and breaking the barrier. 

“Xion!” Roxas said. He started to run after her but felt a sharp snap in him. “Xi...” 

I’m sorry, Roxas...I’ve caused you to suffer...but...you’ll forget about it later anyway. Goodbye, Roxas.

Roxas woke up and saw that he was on the ground in front of the clocktower. He slowly sat on his knees and held his head. 

“W-what am I doing here...?” he asked. He spotted someone not to far away from him and saw that it was Xion. But he didn’t remember who she was. “A girl?!”

He rushed over to her and put her head on his lap. 

“Such serious injuries! Hey, hold on!” he said. Xion slowly opened her eyes and looked at Roxas, surprising him a bit. 

Why...? She looks so familiar...

“Hold on, I’m gonna treat your wounds now,” he said. 

“There’s no need...it won’t be long now...” Xion said. 

“What are you saying? Here, take this Panacea!” As soon as Roxas pulled out the vial, Xion slowly started to fade. 

“Can I...ask you to do me a favor...?” she asked, while closing her eyes. “Free...the girls...free Xemnas...free Kingdom Hearts...” 

“Huh?! Free Kingdom Hearts?! You...” 

Why can’t I remember? Who is this girl?

“All those hearts I’ve captured...they all...have somewhere they need to return to...” Xion slowly raised her hand and cupped Roxas’ cheek. “Please...don’t let Junko have her way...” 

Roxas had no idea who Junko was but he agreed while holding her hand. 

“Thank you...I’m glad I got to meet you and become a part of a family...you...and Axel, too...never forget, you’re both my best friends...that’s the truth,” Xion said, while tears formed in her eyes. 

“No! Xion!” Roxas said, trying to hide his own tears. “Please! I’m begging you! Take this!” 

Roxas held the vial up to Xion’s lips but she didn’t take it. Instead she gave a soft smile. 

“Please...no...I still want the three of us to have ice cream together! Didn’t we promise to go to the beach together?! I wanna continue being a family to the girls! They love us!” 

“Roxas...I’ll...see you later.” Roxas watched as his best friend disappear into the sky, tears streaming down his face. 

                                                        ☽✧☽✧

Back at the Castle That Never Was, in Where Nothing Gathers, Xemnas, Saïx, and the girls were having a meeting together. 

“The puppet is no more,” Saïx said. 

“Eh, it’s probably for the better,” Anti-Hana said. 

“Indeed. Now, I want you all to fetch me my Keyblade wielder, Roxas,” Xemnas said. The girl’s red eyes glowed as the smirked and they all left the room. 

                                                        ☽✧☽✧

Not too far away from the castle, Roxas walked down the rainy streets, Keyblade in hand. 

“Free the girls. Free Xemnas. Free Kingdom Hearts. This was her last will,” he said to himself. As he was walking, he spotted a group of Neoshadow Heartless. He held his hand out and another Keyblade appeared in his hand. The Oblivion. 

“Get lost,” he said to the Heartless. He attacked the Heartless one by one. It was easy to defeat them thanks to his two Keyblades. He arrived at the tower and there stood Riku, looking right at Roxas through his blindfold. 

“What is he doing here?” Roxas asked. Roxas gripped his Keyblades tight and ran up the tower. “Are you going to get in my way too?!” 

Riku step off from where he was standing and attacked Roxas. The two of them fought with such vigor. Roxas didn’t know how it happened, but Riku was able to steal the Oblivion from his grasp. He swung at Roxas and landed a pretty good hit, making him fall to the ground. Roxas groaned and stood up, holding the Oathkeeper in a defensive stance. 

“Give it back!” he said, but Riku did nothing. 

“Why?! Why do you have the Keyblade?!” Riku asked. 

Why does he have two...?

“Like I’d know!” Roxas said as he charged at Riku. The two of them fought again and Roxas soon got the Oblivion back in his hands. 

“What’s wrong, Sora? I thought you were stronger than that. Giving up already?” Riku said. 

“Huh? Get real! Look which one of us is winning!” Roxas replied, gripping his Keyblades tightly again. “I’m me! Nobody else!” 

As Riku watched Roxas charge at him, he began to think about Sora. 

I need to bring him back with me, and take him to Sora.  

“Forgive me, Roxas,” Riku said as he took his blindfold off. 

                                                        ☽✧☽✧

Roxas laid on the rainy ground, unconscious, as Riku put his blindfold and his hood back on. He looked behind him and saw DiZ walk up to him. 

“Looks like you really pulled it off,” he said. The two of them took Roxas to the portal in Ansem’s mansion and DiZ worked on the computer. 

“Naminé hopes to squeeze in a little more time before Sora’s memories are completely restored. Until then, we’ll transport new memories into him, and let him live in the simulated Twilight Town. That will throw off his pursuers--the Organization and those wretched Spirits. Once the time is right...we can dispose of him,” DiZ continued. Riku turned his head and looked at the unconscious Roxas. 

“...Poor thing,” he said. 

“It is the fate of a Nobody. It is a luxury for him to live in a dream before his end--there is nothing better. The same goes for those half Nobodies and that Half Heartless.” DiZ clicked a few more buttons and Roxas soon transported into the data version Twilight Town. Roxas soon woke up and began his new life in that Twilight Town. 

[filthysweetie]

If you are still taking prompt ❤ Hartwin no.13 "are you flirting with me?", "you finally noticed?"

I am forever and always taking prompts! You actually are the first person to request one, so i guess that means technically i’m taking prompts ‘now’? Thank you so much for requesting this, it was so fun to write. 

For anyone keeping track, this is day 18 of my self challenge :)

———

Harry opened his eyes the slightest bit. After years of this sort of thing, he knows to be cautious when coming back to consciousness—never quite sure what side might have picked you up when you were out. Even if you feel asleep in your own bed. 

But Harry hadn’t fallen asleep in his own bed, he’d fallen asleep across the world in a hospital barely fit for the people in it, hooked up to IVs and floating on drug induced clouds. And then he’d woken to patients and doctors alike fighting and killing and if he’d had the energy he would have jumped into the fray too—he’d gotten so far as falling out of his bed, pulling IVs and causing alarms to go off all around before the air cleared and Harry could breath as himself again. He never wants to lose control like that again—knowing it can be taken from him is…

He’s not waking up in that ramshackle hospital, though it certainly still smells like a hospital. There’s a softer cream to the walls than Kentucky, and more than that there’s a boy—his boy—jumping up from his chair.

“Harry!” Eggsy is wound so tight but trying so hard to restrain himself, Harry can see it in the flush of his cheeks and the way he keeps unconsciously leaning closer only to yank himself back, “you’re awake…” he sighs, almost to himself before continuing, “Don’t ever do that again. I’m going to get the nurse.”

He’s gone before Harry can even wet his lips. He’s at Kingsman. He’s home. 

Eggsy comes back with Darleen, who quickly goes to work checking his vitals before asking Harry the mundane questions of his name, rank and number, who the prime minister is and what he remembers. Eggsy hovers behind her, a tangible bout of energy that Harry keeps finding his eyes drawn too. Goodness, Eggsy looks more worried than he had when he was in jail. God, doesn’t that feel like years ago. 

“…alright,” Harry gets out after the formalities and about four glasses of water, “I think that’s enough of that. Clearly I’m still breathing.”

Darleen gives a very unimpressed look, “And I would like to keep you that way.” She turns to Eggsy, pointing a finger accusingly, “Nothing strenuous.”

Eggsy gives a sheepish grin and watches her walk from the room. Harry supposes she is beautiful, but it surely the boy can do better than her. Not that there’s anything wrong with Darleen, she’s a fantastic nurse, it’s just that she has a stronger hand than what Eggsy needs and besides—she may be in a relationship. It would never work; he should just stop now before he gets hurt. (Who is he talking to again?)

Eggsy turns to him once Darleen is around the corner, taking a rushed step closer and grabbing the hand that isn’t stuck with needles, folding it into his own.

“Hey.” He grins like an unrestrained child.

“I’m glad you’re here, Eggsy.”

“Yeah?” Eggsy asks, leaning closer still, propping his elbows on the bed in atrocious manners but he’ll let it go this time. 

And then, because Harry is hopped up on pain killers and really a quite insensitive man at heart, instead of saying ‘so sorry for what I said to you in anger, that is no excuse and I apologize and respect your decision not to forgive me’ his mind takes in that Eggsy is here and that he is in Kingsman’s medical ward and says:

“I didn’t think they’d let you back in here.”

Eggsy pauses, face losing some of that shine, and Harry would berate himself if he could think straight. He leans away, just a bit and Harry frowns at the loss.

“Well, lot has changed since you’ve been gone, bruv.” Eggsy clears his throat, “why don’t you sleep some? I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Tired?” Harry gives a little laugh, “I’ve been unconscious for who…knows ho…w long I’m …not…”———Eggsy is there when he wakes up—in clothes much different than his usual. It looks almost like…

“Is that the suit I gave you?” Harry scrunches up his face, “was going to give you.” He amends. 

Eggsy almost startles, looking up from whatever was in the file he was looking at and grins at Harry, “Sure is! Works like a charm and everything,” Eggsy runs his hand down his lapel and Harry can’t be blamed for following it’s trajectory.  

“But the tie.” Harry can’t help but notice it’s different than the stripped navy one he chose. 

“Yeah,” Eggsy looks down at the time he has, a charcoal grey, that while nice, doesn’t give the look as much movement as the other would have, “it got a little roughed up.” Eggsy shrugs, looking away before turning back and giving a cheeky grin, “But you’re here, so you can always give me another one.” 

“Well I suppose I must.”

“Good.” Eggsy cheeks look pink—the hospital is obviously too hot for a suit. ———By the time he’s out of the hospital wing, he never wants to see the damn place again. Eggsy was very kind to visit as often as he did, and bring Harry trinkets and more kindly, good discussion. He’d learned soon enough that in his absence Eggsy, Roxy and Merlin had gone and saved the world and Eggsy was now a full fledged member of Kingsman, final test be damned. It did something to him, to know that Eggsy was excelling, was living up to his potential and surpassing Harry so splendidly. He still had much to learn, but as Eggsy himself said, Harry is still here and more than willing to help. 

Eggsy visited as often as he was able around missions, sometimes with Roxy or JB in toe, and Merlin came in with a huge stack of files the moment Darleen said he could to give him a debrief on what the state of the world at large was. While he had visited before, it was only under Darleen’s watchful eye as talking shop would  ‘upsetting the delicate healing process’ or some nonsense like that. 

Nevertheless. The world wasn’t teetering as much as he expected, which was pleasantly surprising. What was not so pleasantly surprising was that in his unconscious, he’d been unanimously voted in as the new Arthur by the remaining Kingsman agents. It was backstabbing of the highest order.  

“Here,” Eggsy sets a parcel down on the ornate desk that now belongs to him. Harry raises one eyebrow in a way he hopes his intimidating. Eggsy just bites his lip to stop smiling. Harry sighs and opens it—he hopes Eggsy’s not doing this out of any misplaced guilt about Harry being unable to preform standard field operations. If Harry was a little less selfish, he would ask the boy to stop. But he’s not, so here they are. 

“Is this…” Harry slowly pulls out the figurine.

“It’s Arthur’s round table!” Eggsy can’t stop himself; “There you are at the head,” he points to the little figure in the most regal clothes that doesn’t look anything like Harry (Harry also decided not to mention that there can’t be a head to a round table), “and there’s Merlin on your right, and then Lancelot over there and Perceval next to her, and then that’s me to your left, Galahads represent.” He takes a moment, “I didn’t name the others, so that’s up to you.”

“How…kind.”

Eggsy laughs, a strong laugh that fills the room and Harry can’t help but smile, “Come off it, it’s funny as hell. Your real gift’s in the bottom.” He cocks his head towards the parcel. 

There’s a receipt in the bottom—Harry takes it out and looks at Eggsy who wiggles his eyebrows. It’s a receipt for…

“No,” Harry feels his jaw drop.

“Oh yes.” Eggsy gives a giddy little laugh, and the excitement fills Harry, “It’s finally time that Mr. Pickles had a sibling.”———Ms. Pickles jumped at JB again, trying to get the poor dog to play when clearly he just wanted to nap.

“Stop letting your dog harass JB.” Eggsy says from the kitchen as though he has a sixth sense for JB. They’re at Harry’s house after a long walk with the dogs, and Eggsy is fixing them a late breakfast. 

Harry is much more than capable and said such, but Eggsy must have noticed the fine lines of tension on his face (the headaches, while infrequent, were something close to debilitating) and demanded he sit and be waited on for once (“It’s gentlemanly of me, Harry, you should be all over that.”).

“She’s just looking to play a little, no harm done.”

Eggsy snorts, “I cannot believe how poorly trained you’ve let her be, it’s shocking.”

“She is a princess and deserves to be treated as such.” Harry clicks his tongue and Ms. Pickles trots over for the chin scratches that are imminent, “Besides, she’s a gift, you know, and deserves the utmost respect.”

Eggsy laughs and turns off the kettle, “You should treat the gift-giver like a prince then; it’s only fair.”

“Well I tried to cook him breakfast but was banished from the realm.”

Eggsy snorts, coming into the dining room and setting a full plate in front of Harry, “eat your food, Harry. You can pamper me later.” He winks. 

The food is delicious, though it may have been the company. ———Harry’s been Arther for…a while now. Time moves oddly when in these types of positions. But he’s been in this seat for a while and it’s the first time he’s wondered how Chester died. 

He was told that Eggsy did it, that he came back and finished Chester off after figuring out his plan, but there’s one thing to hear it in Merlin’s crisp, factual tone and another to see it. Harry finds the video surveillance from that day and sets it up to place on his tablet, suddenly feeling the great desire for some popcorn, even though he knows the video ends in death. ———“I’d rather be with Harry, thanks” Eggsy’s voice is tinny across the playback speakers but there’s no mistaking what he said. There’s no mistaking the look on his face when he watched Chester drink the drink that would kill him—the drink meant for Eggsy. 

Harry sets down the tablet, taking a moment to put pieces together that had been payed out perfectly for months now. 

“Hey Harry,” Eggsy walks into his office, without knocking as always, at home in Harry’s space. Harry finds he quite likes that, “I brought you some of those fancy cherry cordials you’re always going on about. Figured my pleb palate won’t be able to tell the difference but worth a shot, yeah?” Eggsy looks up from his bag and makes a face, “What’s wrong? Why you look like, I don’t know, the Queen just came in and farted or something?”

“Eggsy,” Harry gets out then tries again, feeling much more nervous than a man his age has any right to, “Eggsy, are you flirting with me?”

Eggsy’s eyes lock on his for a moment before he laughs, a short burst that forces its way past his lips, almost involuntarily. Oh. Well then. That does answer that, doesn’t it? Harry look at the tablet in front of him. He’s misread situations worse than that before, surely. Just can’t think of any that went quite this bad.

“You finally noticed?” Eggsy laughs again and when the words actually register Harry’s head snaps back up. Eggsy already looking at him, smile shy around the edges but confident in that beautiful way that he always is. 

Harry gets up fast enough that his chair (his heavy oak chair) falls backwards and makes his way over to Eggsy faster than is probably warranted Eggsy’s half way through hey be careful, you’re still healing you idiot when Harry’s upon him, cupping Eggsy’s chin in both hands and pulling him in for a kiss that should have happened ages ago, but he’s so glad is happening now. 

Eggsy sighs into it, a happy little sound that gives off faint edges of surprise like he can’t believe this is happening. If anyone has room for those doubts, it should he Harry—Eggsy shouldn’t doubt for a second that he is the best thing that could ever happen to someone, the best thing that ever happened to Harry.  

His lips are soft and warm and he melts into it, bringing his arms around Harry’s neck as Harry moves one of his around Eggsy’s waist, pulling him closer and relishing every sparking point they touch. His mouth is inviting and the slide of his tongue makes Harry pull him closer, makes him bit at Eggsy’s lip and bask in the moan Eggsy lets out. 

Breaking away is hard, and Harry can’t do it, not fully—he buries his face in the crook of Eggsy’s neck, licking and kissing and nipping the exposed flesh and drinking in every sound, every shaky breath and shiver that works through Eggsy’s body. 

Harry pulls back, just enough to look Eggsy in the eye, “you beautiful, amazing boy. It’s my turn to flirt with you.”

[bahrlee]

Suck the Blood to my Wound - Beok AU

Hello LGBTQ+ community it is chapter time

🦇🦇🦇Chapter 23: The Okay Summer🦇🦇🦇

Summer was coming to a glorious climax. People started leaving their summer homes in town and driving or flying back to wherever they came from. The sun was starting to inch it's way to the other side of the earth at an earlier time. Though he had friends to distract him, the dread in the back of his mind was present. Sure, the weather will stay the same. It was much different than its impact up north where the snow caked everything in sight and melted into cold water into your shoes and onto the roads, eroding the cement and creating potholes that are shotily filled with tar, snow shoveled up into dirty, muddy piles on the side of the road, and freezing dogs feet to the point where they limp back inside, shivering. Yet he still felt the pain of the mere existence of a fall and a winter. The days were shorter, and that's all that mattered to him. The nightmares were worse. Things that were sad were even sadder. Things that were scary were now terrifying, and things that concerned him turned him into a paranoid mess.

   Then, all of a sudden, September First. Right there, on his calendar in big blocky letters right above a picture of a tree with a tire swing hanging off from one of the branches. He let out his first defeated sigh of this era. He wasn't there yet, the sun was just out long enough to keep him out of this miserable rut, but it was soon. Very soon. He felt it right behind him. 

   "Beach, are you okay?" Dook asked him when seeing him on this day, the way he looked down at the floor with a hopelessness Dook didn't get to see on him yet.

   He shrugged, unable to really describe the feeling of impending emptiness. "Just the seasons changing, that's all. And I still miss Roxy."

   Dook nodded. At least with the sun setting, they had a little more time they could spend together. The streetlights were just turning on, the sky a bluish violet, the stars beginning to blink through the ominous grey clouds overhead. They didn't really know what they were doing, but that was something they always figured out along the way. Walking together, was all they wanted to do, holding hands, talking, and laughing. Getting their mind off of things.

   "You're not a big fan of change, are you?" He said. 

   He shook his head yes. "I get so used to things when they're one way, that it's hard sometimes to do it another. I've gotten better, but sometimes I can't help but want to scream about it."

   "It's hard, yeah." Dook sighed. "You didn't seem like the anxious type when I first met you."

   "I…. Get that quite a bit." 

   They swung their locked hands back and forth, picking up their pace a little bit. A car trundled by and turned a corner. Neon red and blue 'open' signs were beginning to flicker off as places began to close. Tonight was a very humid night, a definite sign it was going to rain soon. And here they were, outside, surrounded by close or closing buildings, with no umbrella. It was no surprise to them when it started to sprinkle. Then, the rain started to grow heavy, causing them to run, in a mess of giggles, in search of a place to hide under.

   They found a place under an awning, soaked and out of breath. They were quiet for a long moment---the two watched it rain, their hands still intertwined. Beach turned to Dook, his eyes clouded and unfocused. 

   "I like the rain." Dook said quietly. 

   "We needed it."

   "Yeah, we did." 

   Beach unhooked their hands and put his arm around Dooks waist. It was different, touching someone when their clothes were wet, and sticking to their skin, and when their hair was damp and frizzing. Maybe because they were cold (which in this case Dook was even colder) and shivering, and so touching felt different. It was, overall, just a different experience. He felt Dook lean his head on his shoulder. "This is the first uh…. Kinda decent summer I've had in awhile."

   "Really?"

   "I-I mean---yeah, I met you, I got away from Rolfe a couple of times, this summer has been…. Okay."

   "Hard to have an okay summer when you can't really go into the sun." Beach remarked.

   "....true." Dook said. "But I'd rather focus on what happened that was good. There are things that would've made it better, but if okay is all I can get, I'm taking it."

   "You deserve a better summer." Beach said, leaning his head down on top of his. "I'd give you a better summer if I could."

   "You already have."

   "An even better one, then."

   The sound of the rain patting against the fabric of the awning and the water pouring out of the gutters filled their ears as they watched another car go by, a tire sloshing through a puddle building up in the curb. The rain felt like it would never stop, but that was okay for them.

🦇🦇🦇

   Mitzi rushing into his house, unnerved, was always a warning sign. "I found a dead member of my pod nearby…" she squeaked. "They were bleeding out, in their sea form, they had salt all over them….I dragged them into the ocean and back home, for my aunts to take care of it. But…"

   "Oh no, Mitzi, I'm sorry...." Beach said.

   "I wish we couldn't sense each other like this. I wish our disguises were used to hide from them, too. But whatever, senses give it away, and someone I know ends up dead."

   "Are you sure it was Rolfe?" He asked.

   "Well if it were Dook he'd have a lot of explaining to do, hes squeamish. Rolfes a wimp, but he's proven to be a cold hearted killer." Her hands were shaking her eyes couldn't focus on one thing, shifting everywhere as her mind grappling with the unadulterated fear she was feeling. "I'm really scared, what if he finds my aunts? What if he kills them too?" 

   "Mitzi, don't get paranoid." He gently put his hands on her shoulders, like an uncle trying to cheer up their upset niece who just scraped her knee falling off her bike.

   She was beginning to cry, unable to handle the dear she was having. 

   "Oh Mitzi…." Beach said quietly.

   "I can't help but feel like something bad is going to happen." She sniffled.

   Beach didn't really know what to say---considering how many bad things happened already, he couldn't blame her for suspecting even more bad things to come about. She copied the defeated expression he gave her in solidarity. No positive or hopeful quote or saying could make them feel any better.

   "Let's just make sure we don't get hurt." He said.

   She nodded solemnly, hanging her head low afterwards. He didn't really know what to do. He wasn't much of a hugger, but she needed one. He was willing to put his disdain aside to give her one. Paternal instincts were something he's gained from this whole narrative. She hugged back, her hands clinging to him like a child. 

   "I won't let anything bad happen to you." He said. Her aunts will kill me if I do, he thought.

   "I want fruit roll ups." She whined, wiping away her black tears when she let go.

   "Oh my god…. I don't have those."

   She began to tear up again.

   "Oh my god, Mitzi…."

   "I want fruit roll ups…."

   This is what it must've felt like to have a teenage sister. All she did was worry, eat, and cry, and he had to deal with it. He didn't mind though. He cared for her, even when she was being this way. So when she snagged her arms around him again, he didn't push her away. 

   "You wanna watch a movie?" He said.

   "Camp rock?" She looked up at him, her inky tears staining his shirt.

   "Sure, if you want."

   "The weird fish movie then?"

   He paused for a moment. "That movie will make you feel worse."

   "But it's animated!"

   "That means nothing."

   "Fine…. We can watch camp rock."

   "I…. Have other movies besides the fish movie and camp rock."

   She didn't respond, buried her head into his shirt, and kept hugging him. He stroked the back of her head, confused but sympathetic. "Camp Rock it is, I guess."

🦇🦇🦇

   He poured Mitzi a glass of Tropicana fruit punch, since she was craving something fruity and was quite dehydrated after crying the way she did. She drank it the way a kid did---no stopping for breath, just wheezing into the cup as she drank, the soothing feeling of a beverage going down your throat after a cry was an immaculate one. She also wrapped herself with a blanket. He didn't know whether he should be glad, or scared that she was becoming comfortable enough that she could make herself at home. He put on camp rock, since she was convinced for some reason it was the only movie to exist, and she stared at it, like how he did at Peanuts holiday specials as a kid and sometimes still as an adult, her eyes still red from the crying. She seemed so innocent when she was like this. She was so fragile, and naive, so much like the kid she was. He knew deep down she knew a lot, she dealt with a lot, and she did a lot, but, a lot like Dook, she was still a kid. She was still learning many things, and maturing in the sense of how she dealt with things.

   "Are you feeling a little better?" He asked her, when she finished her drink.

   "I guess. A little bit. I don't know." She pulled the blanket tighter around herself.

   "Ah, got it." He leaned back.

   "I'm starting to see why my aunts are so protective of me now…." She sighed, hunching over and bundling her legs up into her blanket as if she were cocooning herself. "It really is dangerous up here. Fish are assholes, but…. Werewolves are worse."

   He gave her a pat on the shoulder.

   They continued to watch camp rock in an odd silence. Mitzi's eyes began to droop, growing increasingly tired. Curled up into a little ball, she fell sideways, asleep. Beach smiled, and continued to watch the movie in the quiet, letting her rest. There was nothing like the feeling of sleeping off an unwanted cry. Those kinds of cries always induced headaches and fatigue, dehydration, feelings of hopelessness…. Basically, crying when distressed like how Mitzi was resulted in medication side effects. It was the mind's confusing way of releasing confusingly painful and stressful emotions. She deserved her rest.

   An hour after the move ended, she woke back up, looking disoriented and confused. "Where am i?" She asked.

   "My house."

   "Oh. That's right."

   Beach smiled. "Let's getcha home." he got up, pulling her off the couch, the blanket falling to her knees. She tripped her way out of it, still sleepy, and sulking from her bad mood. She was quiet in the car, just as she was when he first drove her to the sea that first tonight they met. It suddenly hit him how long it has been since he met her.

   He dropped her off, she waved goodbye, and ran off to the Beach and into the ocean, to be seen again whenever.

   He got out of his car himself and climbed up to the roof, taking in the night. He was going to miss this when the nightmares parked their way into his mind for the next 6 months. The loud crickets and frogs, looking at the stars, the feeling of, even in complete darkness, safety, and security. Without the feeling something was lurking behind him. Although, this time, there was something lurking behind him. He was jolted by a thunk on his car from behind him. And there was Rolfe, a sly, knowing smile on his face. Beach felt his heartbeat gain traction, his guard flipping up as he tried to keep a brace face while looking back at him.

   "Interesting to find you out here. Visiting her again?" He asked. The tone of his voice was unpleasant.

   "Just got her home. Seems just in time too." He swallowed, suspicious, nervous, and anything else he could possibly be in this moment. 

   "Did she like my surprise?"

   "Wh---it was you, of course it was you!" He seethed. "She nearly had a panic attack from what you've done!"

   He let out a pleasant laugh. "Glad to know. She's getting too cocky herself. Had to do what I did with you and send her a warning. I've seen her stalking Dook. She brought along a friend the most recent time, the friend being the one i…. Seasoned."

   Beach almost threw up in his mouth from how terrible that threatening villain pun was. Then he wondered why Mitzi kept that detail from him. It explained her guilt a little more in depth, too. 

   "Right when I thought Dook was an airhead he decided to move to a place populated with sea monsters, knowing they'd become obstacles. I should've known better than to think a vampire, any vampire, wasn't cunning in some way." He monologues, mostly just to hear himself talk. Beach still listened, though, as he was afraid to run, this was his car, and he liked hearing Dook get complimented.

   "He's pretty street smart. Thought you'd know that pretty well after all these years of following him." He snarked back.

   "Watch it."

   "Or what?"

   "Do you want me to kill someone else near and dear to your heart?! You don't know what'll happen to me if I don't get Dook back in this next month! Its terrible!"

   "In other words, wonderful to everyone else. What happens?" He asked.

   "The mafia unit in this state starts hunting me down, too. I could get killed!" He said. "I've gotten every vampire I've ever hunted to break, and give in, but since the beginning, no wolf has been able to get under his skin! Not even the house of pain could get under his skin! And there are ways of torture there that involve literally doing that. The fact they don't give me backup for this guy makes me angry!"

   "Every thought about why you can never get him to comply?"

   "What?" He crossed his arms. 

   This was a surreal, diplomatic moment. Rolfe was showing some form of vulnerability, so he had to use that to at least in some way protect Dook, Mitzi, and whomever else. 

   "Well, for starters, he never wanted to be a vampire in the first place. And you caught him at the point of his life he was looking forward to. He was just starting to figure things out, he was going to get his life together. But right before he could even try, he was forced into all of this. Ever thought about what that's like, you're finally rising from the ashes, only to be taken and thrown into another fire? He must've been very optimistic, because of the fact it gave him such an urge to fight for so many years. He wants his old life back, and since he can't get it, the least he wants is to be left alone." He explained.

   "Hmm…" Rolfe put a finger to his mouth, thinking. He didn't seem like the type to show remorse, but he was hoping for him to at least think. "It would explain why he's so relentless. Ever since the day the Boss wolf introduced him to the rest of the mafia, he struggled in his arms. You know how he escaped the house during his visit? He was buried alive in a box. He used the spikes on one of his bracelets, chiselled and broke his way out of the box, unburied himself, and made a run for it. I've never seen someone fight so hard to get away."

   "Then why don't you let him get away? Tell the mafia he stepped into the sun, or he ate some garlic?" Beach questioned. "Why try, if he'll never break?"

   "I have to at least try. The Boss Wolf is my father. He taught me how to capture even the most unrestful of vampires. He assigned me Dook because he believes in me. And if I fail, he wont go easy on me just because I'm his son. I'll end up as dead as the other wolves before me. I have to. This is my duty. I don't care if it takes until in 90, I'm going to get Dook back there somehow." Rolfe explained. "You really care about him this much you're trying to reason with the enemy?"

   "Yeah, I do…." He really hoped Rolfe didn't know they were, in some way, an item.

   He panicked to himself, a knowing grin on his face. "He's gonna break your heart, kid. I've seen this one too many times. He likes to fly in and out of relationships. He moves from town to town, falling in love and then having to leave them behind. From what my father learned about him, hes lovesick, but clumsy. You two will probably last as long as his last one."

A   Beach shrugged not knowing how to respond with his words. Rolfe could sense his thinking, which only made his smile grow.

   "Ha, don't even try to argue. You know it deep inside. Dook is only a small blip in your life as it will be in his, just like the other times. You'll remember him more as this seems to be your first big fling, but to Dook, it's just another name on a list. You're expecting a lot from a hussy, Beach. Get that through your brain. I thought you were smart." He sneered.

   Beach looked at him intensely. He knew that wasn't the case for them, but it still damaged him to think that…. Maybe it was. If he didn't become a vampire, he was just going to be left behind as Dook moved away to get away from Rolfe again, and probably find somebody new. He was always telling himself he didnt care if it didn't work out in the long run, but it was like deep down inside, that was exactly what he wanted. He wanted it to be long term. He wanted him to stay here with him. He wanted to wake up next to him, run through the rain with him, hold his hands in a dark theater with him forever. But could that really happen? Was he too blinded by his own love to see that maybe this relationship didn't mean as much to him? 

   "Don't say I told ya so if you dont last for another couple months. It's best you just let Dook and I do our cat and mouse until he leaves again, leaving you stranded." He turned around and began to walk away.

   "For someone who's been following him around for years, I'm assuming, you sure don't know that much about him."

   Rolfe stopped and turned around, rolling his eyes, yet still intrigued by what he had to say. 

  "He has a past. He's done things he isn't proud of. But she's much more complex than you think." He hoped off of the top of the car. "You're idea of him is very…. Flat. Static. Two-dimensional. People change and learn. And although he's been stuck in the same mindset, I'm sure he's learned how to take things slower than he had in the past."

   "Really? If you're taking it slow…. How many times have you slept together?"

   Beach scoffed, and gave him a face of disgust. "That's a personal question."

   "A couple times then, I'm guessing---"

   "That is a personal question." He repeated his voice suddenly intense. "I don't get what the obsession is with that, so can you please shut the hell up about it!?"

   Rolfe looked at him in shock. He didn't know he had it in him to raise his voice like that. "Very well then. Have your mindless fun. Act like he won't leave you in the dust. Move as fast as you like. But you've been warned. You have your Hopes too high."

   He turned around again, and walked off, that stupid smile still on his face. 

   Beach cursed under his breath, unlocked his car, climbed in and drove home, feeling invaded, dumb, and cranky. His three least favorite things to feel.