#and generally i feel a lot better already

[unsentimentaltranslator]

When someone has 100kg of weight crushing them and you remove 10kg of it, it’s natural for their response to be “that’s a start, now about the other 90kg.” That’s not mean; that’s basic self worth.

When we successfully defeated Donald Trump, there was lukewarm relief, a reminder that you were only allowed one or maybe two days to celebrate and then it was back to work.

The United States doesn’t have public healthcare, university tuition is extortionate, and the federal minimum wage is $7.25 unless you’re a server in which case it’s $2 and let’s hope all your customers are generous enough to toss you a percentage of their bill. Of course Americans wanted better.

The only post I saw about Juneteenth was reminding us that there were enslaved people who were killed instead of freed and therefore celebrating the end of chattel slavery was wrong, and besides, we have prison labor so nothing really changed or got better and there’s nothing to celebrate anyway.

I don’t know if you’re black, but as a white person I don’t expect black people to just be grateful that they’re not plantation slaves anymore.

So of course when we have a major setback, we fall apart and have to start frantic damage control.

People are falling apart because their situations were already precarious and now it’s about to get worse.

Frantic discourse ensues over how much people are allowed to unplug before it becomes bad and selfish. Yes, maybe you can have this one day off Mr. Cratchit but you better be here and miserable early the next morning.

As someone who has dealt with charities a lot, charities and activists come on strong because they need all the help they can get. You have to be able to be confident in your “sorry, I can’t, but I wish you the best” without getting validation from them, because they have bigger priorities.

Like abusive bosses always insisting you squeeze out more, more, more, and any achievement is just proof you were lazy the other times and impetus for more work.

It might feel the same, but this really isn’t an OK comparison to make. Bosses are doing it from a place of power and with the purpose of leeching more from you to give themselves more privilege. Oppressed people are doing it from a place of desperation, and that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to let yourself drown, but you have to get your validation about it from someone other than them. Redirect your anger to the people in our respective countries who voted us into these situations and just took for granted that people like you and me would step up and give more help to the people who are getting fucked over through these people’s selfishness.

The harsh truth about activism is that the people you’re doing it for are in shitty situations, which means you’re going to see a lot of anger about those shitty situations and a lot of pressure to do more. You have to get confident about your own boundaries and recognise who is really causing the stress you’re under.

I’m sorry but if there is one thing the Tumblr left needs crucially, it’s the ability to celebrate.

I remember when marriage equality was called and there were waves of rainbows and love wins posts. When we successfully defeated Donald Trump, there was lukewarm relief, a reminder that you were only allowed one or maybe two days to celebrate and then it was back to work. That is if you were even a good person for voting Biden. We never did settle if he was better than Trump. (We did.). We didn’t celebrate student loan debt relief or any of the accomplishments of the Biden administration, or any of the times Trump was blocked, or other countries succeeding in keeping fascists out of office. Who cares if we had successes? It’s not good enough. Back to work!

And this anti-celebratory attitude stretches back to the past. On the 100th anniversary of female suffrage in America, we were reminded that not all women had the vote and so we weren’t allowed to celebrate. The only post I saw about Juneteenth was reminding us that there were enslaved people who were killed instead of freed and therefore celebrating the end of chattel slavery was wrong, and besides, we have prison labor so nothing really changed or got better and there’s nothing to celebrate anyway. Trans Day of Visibility comes with Trans Day of Remembrance so that people don’t fill the tags with hate crimes and death. So on and so forth. Nothing gets better. Nothing changes. Back to work!

So of course when we have a major setback, we fall apart and have to start frantic damage control. Frantic discourse ensues over how much people are allowed to unplug before it becomes bad and selfish. Yes, maybe you can have this one day off Mr. Cratchit but you better be here and miserable early the next morning. Like abusive bosses always insisting you squeeze out more, more, more, and any achievement is just proof you were lazy the other times and impetus for more work.

If we are never allowed to acknowledge any of our victories, how are we supposed to survive our defeats?

[maybefae]

Why Are Others Grateful For You?

Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3

Remember, this is a general reading and it may not resonate for everyone or completely. Tarot is a tool to help guide but you are responsible for your actions and life, you choose your path.

Tips!

|Pile 1

Tarot: Eight of Cups, Two of Wands, Six of Swords, Knight of Swords, Ace of Swords, Four of Swords, Page of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, Six of Cups, The Star

Oracle: The Horse and Bluebell (modest fortitude), The Otter and Cattail (peace), The Bobcat and Blackthorn (patience), The Squirrel and Chestnut (preparation)

I don’t know if it’s because we just entered Mercury Retrograde but I could not, for the life of me, figure out how to start this pile. But it could also be part of a message that I had previously gotten just from the cards. I think this could be from your coworkers, classmates, or maybe just in general, people are grateful for your attention to detail. Your perfectionism could drive you crazy but I think people are grateful for the fact that you make sure everything is in order so nothing goes wrong. I keep getting that you could feel like it’s a hindrance and maybe it’s because it stems from anxiety. And maybe you do get a lot put on your plate because people expect you to be able to handle it (which is a downside to why they are grateful). 

You also hold an air of peace. You could be a very soft person (you don’t have to be) and you hold a space for people without really realizing. People love to be around you because you genuinely soothe their nerves and worries. Once they step foot into the room you’re in, once they are enveloped by your presence, it feels like they are teleported into a whole different world. You’re like the sound of a babbling brook, birds singing as they fly through the trees, leaves crunching underfoot on a dirt path through the woods…People can finally take a breath when around you. You could notice that people are more willing to open up to you, even the most shy person would talk to you. People could also find it easy to fall asleep around you. But I also get the sense that you aren’t that for yourself. You seem like a very worrisome and anxious person. 

You could have stuck up for someone in the past and they are grateful for that as well.

For the people you have walked away from, people that you don’t align with anymore, they are grateful that you walked away. You may have had guilt even though it was for the better and they could have acted cold after, but just know they are grateful that you did. They probably wouldn’t have become the person they are if you didn’t walk away. They don’t want you to hold the guilt anymore because you did the right thing. They still love you and the love they gave is yours to keep.

You could also encourage people to follow dreams they had as a child or just dreams in general. You make people’s pure self come out, their inner child…And it inspires a lot of hope. You could also be good with children. And you hold a lot of patience, even in moments that make you worried. They are grateful for the space you give them.  

You have lovely characteristics, Pile 1. And I wish you realize them and turn them towards yourself since I feel like you don’t think this way about yourself. But with people that push the limits, protect yourself and put up boundaries.

|Pile 2

Tarot: Four of Wands, King of Pentacles, Seven of Cups, Ace of Cups, Page of Swords, Five of Pentacles, The Emperor, Ace of Pentacles, Five of Cups, The Fool

Oracle: The Horse and Bluebell (modest fortitude), The Bee and Pomegranate (productivity), The Coyote and Datura (deceit), The Skunk and Magnolia (protection)

Before I even got the cards out, I could already feel the protective and determined energy coming from you. I had instantly reached for my oracle to shuffle your cards before even clearing pile 1. You are the manifestation of ‘when life gives you lemons.’ You could be given cups that you aren’t happy with so you decide to pour the water out and then fill it with what you want. You are a go getter. And honestly, people are grateful of characteristics that others could find absolutely annoying.

You are the backbone of the workspace, the family, and/or whatever relationship you have with others. You are willing to speak your mind which doesn’t leave room for second guessing, creating a strong foundation for any relationship. In the workplace/classroom, projects get done, deals get made, and the environment thrives. You are a very prized asset to any organization. Also, if you are good at tactics and work manipulation (like sales or areas that need it), they are grateful for that.

In interpersonal relationships, people see where they stand so they know how far they can open up and don’t have to guess who they are to you. You don’t let anyone walk all over you. And to the people you care about, you don’t let people walk over them. People like how cunning and witty you are.

This one was pretty straightforward and it feels like this is what people notice about you the most, so I suppose it also makes sense that it was based on your characteristics. Blunt, determined, and no room for bartering. You could have also been burned in the past and so this is why you are the way you are so you don’t get hurt again. People do notice how strong you are and are honestly are inspired by the way you picked yourself up and kept going. There are lingering hints of sadness and anger as I’m ending this so you could have a hard time showing softer emotions, which is why I couldn’t get any other reasons. There are ways to merge your boundaries, the hard shell you have, while letting the walls down (especially to personal relationships). The people you’re closest with do want to see you relax, even if they appreciate how strong you are.

|Pile 3

Tarot: Ten of Wands (reversed), The Chariot, Justice, The Empress, The Sun, Four of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, Queen of Cups (bottom of the deck)

Oracle: The Vulture and Asphodel (upheaval), The Beaver and Birch (home), The Hound and Pear (loyalty), The Finch and Peach (romance), The Rooster and Sunflower (communication)

There is a slight 18+ message that I got (so if you’re young, please skip this bit). But if you have a lover, they are grateful for how balanced and fair it is in bed.

This one does have a heavy romantic feeling over it. This could be a partner or a future partner coming through, to be honest. But I think you can adapt this to anything (we’ll see).

So before I even got cards out, your energy washed over like a princess/prince/liege stepped into the room. Your energy gives Rapunzel from Tangled in a way. Like it’s the pure form of the princess (not the warped idea where people want to be a princess just to get what they want). You felt bad for pile 2 as you stepped into the reading. Then, I was reshuffling the oracle and the romance card was shown. I kept it in so I can have cards pop out but once I was done, I HAD to find the romance card and pull it out but I also pulled out the communication one. This is why this reading is so romance heavy. I honestly feel like it’s from a partner or a future partner, maybe partners from the past. 

You are The Empress card embodiment. They think you are so beautiful (no matter your gender) and they just feel grateful for your mere presence. You can make a bad boy good. They are so grateful for the change you brought into their life, even if it was sudden and hard to adjust to. You molded them into their peak form and they are more than grateful. And I think they show that by being healthily obsessed with you. They know they scored a rare gem and they won’t treat you any less than.

You seem to also have it easy? Not in a bad way! You just seem to breeze by issues with a wave of your hand and a “I can handle it” attitude. Maybe you calm peoples worries and help them get through issues that they think are really stressful. It’s like the energy of getting all worked up over something but once it is done and passes, you look back and wonder, “I was worried over that?” 

Others are just so grateful for your love. You could like cooking and offer to make meals or randomly bring food by. But you are just so abundant with the love you give to others. You make people feel at home. Your partner is also grateful for making your house a home (maybe they never got that so they finally get to experience that). They are also grateful for your loyalty. You make everything feel alright…And you are also good with communication. In general but also more so towards your lover. They are grateful that you don’t play games and that you don’t leave any questions between the both of you, even if there is a hiccup in the relationship. I’m actually tearing up right now. Someone is just so grateful for your existence in their life and what you bring them. And I had so much to say at the end that it didn’t feel like any organized thought. People are just so overwhelmed by you in a good way, like a ray of sunshine. You’re so lovely, Pile 3. 

Dividers: @inklore

[jesncin]

Spirit World, Ride the Cyclone and Death. A weird comparative analysis

Gonna combine my musical nerd and cape comics fixation together for a rambling meta thought. I've been reflecting on how taboo the topic of death is in media after getting into Ride The Cyclone (highly recommend watching the slime tutorial and Waiting in the Wings' documentary on it) but also contrasting that musical with how Spirit World handled similar topics.

Both stories cover characters whose lives were cut short from a tragic circumstance, but while Cyclone directly talks frankly about how each character uniquely grieves over their lost life (and eventually accepts death)- Spirit World uses death as largely an aesthetic to a generic fantasy superhero adventure.

[spoilers for Ride the Cyclone and Spirit World]

Spirit World is about non-binary, half dead half living Envoy Xanthe Zhou, as they go into the Spirit World with John Constantine to rescue Cassandra Cain Batgirl. They eventually go toe to toe with the spirit of a bitter dead poet.

Ride the Cyclone is about 6 choir teenagers who die in a roller coaster accident in their small town. In the afterlife, they are given the chance to vote which one of them they believe should be resurrected.

For Spirit World, do we even know how Xanthe feels about being "half dead"? What does that even mean? They died as (what looks like) a 3 year old, and have clearly aged 15 more years since then. So they can age? Do they need to eat or drink (they're seen with a drink in a Pride comic)? Xanthe keeps mentioning they're half dead and half living, but the comic doesn't seem to want to discuss what that means. How would Xanthe feel that they were essentially given a job as an Envoy the minute they died as a very young child? Was this even a choice?

We've already covered the numerous plot holes in Xanthe Zhou's poorly thought out backstory so I won't go over that again. But honestly apart from the thematically loose "the dead shouldn't be forgotten" moral, a lot of how death is presented in Spirit World feels so superficial. When Xanthe is formally introduced as this cool character with a giant sword hanging around a gravesite, fighting all these hopping vampire creatures... this scene would play out the same if you swapped the setting with a forest and zombies as bad guys.

The Spirit World is less an afterlife for the spirits to move onto and more an MMORPG setting for our superheroes to travel across and fight generic evil beings and encounter eviler, bigger, boss battles at the end. Then there's the poet clout villain whose problems are just easily solved by Xanthe promising to remember her. I've already covered what a lost opportunity thematically this character was in my last Xanthe essay, but this time I want to contrast her with Ride the Cyclone's Jane Doe. I also want to compare Xanthe with Noel Gruber afterwards.

Ride the Cyclone's musical numbers follow each character performing a song reflecting their wishes, and musings on life (this sounds depressing but the musical handles all this with comedy and wit), hoping to prove themselves as worthy of a second chance at life. Of the characters, Jane Doe is the mysterious odd one out. The accident decapitated her, leaving her to enter the after life with no memories and the people of the living unable to identify her.

You might see where I'm going with this. So in Spirit World, Wan Yujing was this famous poet mourned by an entire empire. She only goes monster mode when a handwave-y "time erodes all" happens in the Spirit World and she is eventually forgotten- so she becomes desperate to demand to be reincarnated by the Jade Court. Because her clout ran out. Again, I already made the critique in my previous essay that this villain would better link to our protagonist if she was a queer poet whose poetry was being purposefully straight washed as an act of queer historical erasure. But I want to bring up how truly unsympathetic this villain is. She gets Shakespeare levels of clout but still demands more because she isn't getting reincarnated fast enough. Xanthe promises that as an immortal "half dead half living" person that they will remember Wan Yujing, so she too can be immortal in some way.

I think about all the Jane Doe-s in the Spirit World who don't get to be famous poets that have Empires remembering who they were. People who died anonymously without a past. In Cyclone, the main character chooses Jane Doe as the person who should be brought back to life. Our cast of teens come to terms with the fact that while it's tragic that their lives ended shortly, they conclude "to say that if one dies young, they die needlessly... that is to discount the years we had. We had a life, she didn't. That's my vote." Since Jane Doe has no memory of who she is, it's only fair that she is given that second chance.

I get that Spirit World is choosing these "larger than life" characters as villains, but it's at the expense of their own supposed themes. Of all the people to die and face off our hero as the villain, a character who's essentially an influencer but somehow has an entire empire forget about her anyway feels thematically hollow.

Modern Superhero comics are suffering from a specific problem right now; they're not really about anything. Characters don't feel like people with interior lives informed by the context of who they are. Class, race and bigotry are only touched upon as lightly as possible. Queer characters are now Pride ads with no personhood or flaws. They punch gentrified crime and fight for no one in particular. Even recent adapted media such as My Adventures with Superman and Caped Crusader follow this. Superman fights white-washed xenophobia, while Batman fights gentrified, white-washed classicism. It's why comics like Superman Smashes the Klan, Catwoman Lonely City and Alan Scott Green Lantern stand out so much. It's been a while since these characters talked about anything that matters. Don't get me wrong, slop that's about nothing exists in every industry. But when these characters and worlds historically used to have more bite- it's especially obvious.

If I could be playfully conspiracy theory-like for a second; I believe Xanthe Zhou was pitched so that DC Comics can buff out their Pride Anthology or AAPI anthology with a new younger character. The company will give this character one limited series, but that's it. Xanthe will appear in the larger DC universe whenever big magic plots happen, but that's it. Maybe they'll get a YA graphic novel. I would love to be proven wrong, but the problems with Xanthe are baked in the dough.

Because they don't feel like a person, Xanthe feels more like an industry planted Pride ad. They're designed to be the most palatable and marketable image of Asian androgyny. They literally have no flaws to grow out of, and their backstory makes no sense. They weren't built to be a sustainable solo character.

So I want to contrast Xanthe Zhou against Noel Gruber from Ride the Cyclone. Because they're both queer characters whose lives were cut short at a young age.

In a dramatic lament, Noel Gruber expresses how if he had a chance to live, he'd want to live the horrible cinematic messy life of a French sex worker woman in post-war France. He struggled as the only gay boy in a small town and never got to kiss a boy before he died. It's a look into a queer life that could've been lived, one with all the messy texture and self destruction Noel couldn't have but desires. We get to see how death and queerness intersect into rich, unflattering, gender-messy themes. "I want to be that fucked up girl." Noel sings.

But what's Xanthe's deal? They died as a 3 year old, got brought back, avoided their family at all costs for 15 years, and then had a transphobic confrontation with their family when they're invited to dinner way later. If Xanthe grew up in a transphobic household, how did they ever figure out they were non-binary when they were 3? Could they even verbalize it? Or did they instead figure out their queerness after they died? But how is that possible when they already held a level of familiar resentment towards their family's transphobia as if they've had several fights about it? It's hard to picture a 3 year old having multiple heated debates about gender with their parents for this level of resentment to make any sense.

Details aside, how does Xanthe's queerness intersect with themes of death and grief? Well, it just doesn't. This scene ends with Xanthe's sister telling them that she bothered remembering them even though their parents moved on from their death (which makes no sense since the parents wanted to have dinner with a random 18 year old they correctly assumed was their long dead "daughter" but whatever). Honestly, the only reason queerness exists in this family drama is so that Xanthe has a tense relationship with their family. The story would be exactly the same if Xanthe was a troublemaker that brought shame to their family. Who they are isn't specific to whatever grief exists in the comic.

When people give the critique that modern Superhero comics aren't about anything anymore, we usually think of these comics as "lacking political bite and commentary". We don't often think of something like Death to be political. And even though it is in many ways, it's also a social taboo to talk about. Death is an uncomfortable thing to confront, even in the safety of fiction. It's what made Ride the Cyclone such a difficult stage musical to market.

So how does a modern mainstream comic like Spirit World fit into that? It just sits there in this non-committal way. Yes, this is a story about a trans teenager who died, but only in a cool Superhero Origin Way, not in any way that would make readers uncomfortable. Bury Your Gays is a stereotype after all, so we can't talk about how queer people feel about death. We don't get to know how Xanthe feels about death as a non-binary Asian American. Especially if it's messy. It's the reason why Wan Yujing's character can never commentate on themes of historical queer erasure. God forbid superhero comics be about something.

I think about how, in the original Hellblazer run from the 80s, John Constantine had an elderly gay friend who was diagnosed with AIDS but was killed by a homophobic hate group. The comic openly talks about the sheer amount of gay people dying of the epidemic, a looming threat that informs John's queer life. It's such a culture shock, to contrast these early comics with how John Constantine is written in Spirit World. A character stripped of his own queer history and is at the mercy of incessant slutty bi jokes. Where is the desire to talk about how death informs a queer person's life? The mourning of a lost generation to the AIDS crisis? Something John lived through?

How about how any of this intersects with being an Asian American queer person? Queer people of color are often erased or purposefully excluded from queer history and communities. As a Queer Asian American, what does it mean to have identities that are often perceived to be in conflict with each other? Would your queer Asian ancestors even be remembered? Cultural differences with how you'd mourn your communities? But answering any of these questions means an uncomfortable conversation for Spirit World. For Xanthe. It threatens to be about something.

Which makes it all the more silly that, of the two stories, a musical about teenagers dying from a rollercoaster malfunction is more willing to have that uncomfortable conversation. You should ride the Cyclone.

[starrycassi]

VERY old and uncooked au I have where Viktor (and eventually jayce) end up working for Silco.

PART 1 - VIKTOR (childhood, adolescence, survival)

Singed actually takes the child in. Yeah I know Viktor technically HAS parents but we've never seen em in the show so I'm ignoring them

So Viktor now lives + works for singed. He gets over his morals real quick when faced with a fully equipped laboratory. He's a child, okay? He gets excited and is eventually groomed (I don't mean romantically, just like molded) by singed into agreeing + obeying all the things the older man tells him. Silco joins in on the part later and toys with his brain as best as he can

Singed uses him as a bargaining chip with Silco. An investment, if you will.

A bit of a "future promise" thing. Viktor actually agrees to this because he knows it's the best shot he's got. All the years living alongside Singed have made him into a more cynical/realistic person. He's 13 and already grumbles at "kids these days"

And Silco is an opportunistic man. He looks at this young, blooming genius and goes "yeah, why not? He is your problem, though. Have some money and make me a bomb"

Viktor also gets a pretty decent gun and shooting lessons. His aim is decent enough. He also hangs around sevika A LOT. He recognizes her as the strongest, safest individual if a fight breaks out and tells her ad much. She won't admit it but the praise feels good. She allows him to hover around and he helps her with small things like lighting hee cigarettes or refilling her flask. It's a symbiotic relationship where they both look at each other dead in the eye when someone is saying stupid shit.

So Viktor is like 15 and suddenly faced with even MORE power and recognition, even MORE fundings and accomodations.

This boy pours his life and time into making weapons. His dreams of being a scientist are slowly forgotten as both Singed and Silco effectively turn him into their perfect little genius.

They turn his desire to help against himself, telling him that the only way the under city will ever get better is if they go against piltover and win (which yeah I mean it kinda makes sense) and just general promises and such

Silco is genuinely surprised by how inventive the kid can be, and in return Viktor appreciates the man's offers and words for what it is: a trap he's wilfully walking in.

Silco does NOT feel any affection for the kid. At least not a lot more than he does for sevika or any other loyal worker. He is amused by his intelligence and somewhat entertained by his ideas. He seems Viktor as more of a small dog he's raising, expecting him to develop sharper and sharper fangs. He does care for Viktor in the "one of my youngest workers is more efficient and savvy than five of yours" way

Viktor doesn't feel any affection for Silco, either. He's a really down-to-earth kid, has lived in the fissures all his life and has been coached by singed into how to navigate the under city. He knows singed doesn't really trust the man and doesn't plan on doing so himself. He does love the opportunity he's given, but knows damn well that it's all done for a higher reason.

He does feel a connection with singed, though. It's mutual in a way. More of a mentor-mentee thing than any paternal/familiar relationship, but they're both satisfied with it. Singed respects Viktor and treats him as an equal, which also means he can a bit too harsh on what is essentially still a fragile teen.

They are protective of Viktor only in the way one is protective of their own gun

PART 2 - VIKTOR (last of his teen years, young adulthood, rage)

EVENTUALLY Viktor manages to worm his way into the academy (in the same way he did in canon) while hiding from Silco, Singed and Sevika, and is, instead, rejected. Heimerdinger is too weary of Viktor and his general attitude (for a good reason) and plans on having him interrogated. When he tries to get Viktor to walk alone into a room with him, Viktor panics and starts stuttering out explanations. He knows his position in the under city is conditional. Knows the leash that Silco has around him. The academy could be his safe haven and now he's losing it.

Heimerdinger does his best to try and calm him down, however, every word he says makes the situation worse. He's so clearly out of touch, promising things that could never be done.

Viktor is under a lot of pressure and just starts spiraling. Everything the yordle says makes things worse and worse. The commotion calls the school guards attention and Viktor gets almost thrown in jail, all while heimerdinger tries to tell the guards to let him go. Viktor eventually manages to sneak out but fucks his leg up even more in the process.

He returns "home" and, refusing to cry for such a thing, turns his sadness into bright, burning indignation. Silco might be an idiot, he realizes, but he's right about some things. He burns down the uniform after ripping it into shreds.

After all of this, he abandons any dream of ever getting out. Singed looks at him knowingly, tells him that sneaking around is a fine art he hasn't mastered yet, and leaves. Silco welcomes him back with a satisfied smile, and a "see, boy? I was right"

Silco isn't killing Viktor for his betrayal because he smells the heartbreak and KNOWS that this is the time to attack if he wants that boy to be on his side for the rest of his life. Sevika isn't even mad. Just kinda disappointed.

And it WORKS. Viktor is devastated and isolated, and Silco effectively positions himself as the only current logical option. Viktor knows that this is all a shit show but decides that there's nothing to lose by working for the biggest kingpin on the city

Years go by, Viktor becomes part of silco's inner gang. He develops what could be seen as a friendship with sevika. They drink together every so often, trash-talking the rest of the henchmen in hushed whispers in between assignments. She tries to give him life advice in cryptic ways. He kinda gets it. Most of the time.

He's also a bit of a slut. I mean he's young, hot, kinda part of Zaun's elite, smart... yeah he's getting around. This part is important I swear. No it's not I just want Viktor to get it on. He's constantly sneaking pretty boys in and out of wherever he's staying at that week (idk where the fuck sevika sleeps. Do silco's henchmen just sleep in his house??? Does he provide apartments?? I need to know)

People in the under city actually start *talking* to Viktor as he gets older, realizing that he's a bit less violent than the rest of silco's thugs. This is always weird to him but he endures it for the sake of staying on top of what's being said in the city.

He buys from benzo frequently, and Benzo tolerates him because once, very slowly and in a hushes tone, he heard Viktor tell Ekko to never work for anyone with a shark aquarium.

PART THREE - MEETING JAYCE.

He's in the very same shop when he meets jayce.

He goes "yeah I could get him to suck me off probably" and tries to approach

And then jayce pays in GOLD and DOESN'T HAGGLE

And he realizes that this idiot is a piltie. He also realizes that whatever the fuck he just bought could've been useful for him and silco will not like it if a PILTIE out of everyone takes them. He literally gets in between him and the door with absolutely no idea of what he's going to do (there is absolutely no way he's upping that payment sorry silco you are no match for the Kirammans)

There is no time and he defaults to "oh this is my bedroom" mode.

Cue him saying something like "I've never seen such a pretty face in this store. Are you from around here, darling?"

Ekko is gagging in the background.

They flirt yada yada I have the scene but it's too long to write here. U get the idea. I'd anyone wants to read that ask me but for now just use your imagination

Viktor offers Jayce to come back with him to his house. Ask this is happening the kids are staging the heist.

They make out a bit, Jayce tells Viktor all about his theory (which is arguably hotter for Viktor) and shows him his notes (because obviously he carries his journal with him)

Viktor is BLOWN AWAY by this. He gets all worked up. Never felt this horny before. They discuss for a while, and Viktor decides that THIS is something he can stand behind. Actual discoveries, not just drawing blueprints after blueprint of the same fucking thing

Really how many ways can one design a weapon in

Anyways

Viktor sort of mildly drugs jayce and steals three of the shiny orbs and then wakes Jayce up and tells him that this was delightful and such.

PART FOUR - Hey Silco Can We Adopt This Boy. For Science

The heist happens the very same way. Viktor hears about it, about the trial, and decides that all these years of work should get him some privileges

He has his very first actual fight with Silco and Singed about it, but they eventually and very reluctantly agreed to give him two bodyguards so he can go play prince and break jayce out of jail.

Silco knows that even a worm will turn. If Jayce does agree to work for them, then they get another good worker. If not, they can always kill him. He's never heard Viktor this adamant about someone before, and damn he's seen the boy walk around with some pretty faces. Maybe this Jayce fella truly is smart.

Viktor breaks jayce out do NOT ask me how #thepoweroflove or whatever. The henchmen get to punch enforcers so they're happy about it.

The "am I interrupting?" Scene happens. It's also too long so.

It takes Viktor a while to convince Jayce to, yk, betray his country and leave everything he's ever known behind, but Jayce was literally about to kill himself and Viktor is talking about change and help and people who actually need it (lies) and he looks so beautiful under the moonlight and he remembered him. So. Really what can one realistically do in this situation if not agree.

They rush back, Jayce leaves a hasty suicide note and says he will drown himself in the river, they break into heimerdinger's room via breaking down the fucking door, steal all the equipment they can carry (henchmen & co brought some bags okay??)

When Mel arrives they're gone. She calls for the guards to come but they're long gone (there might be a motorcycle involved. Cyclists Viktor... Yeah)

PART FIVE - JINX AND JAYCE

Viktor shows up and finds out that silco has adopted a child. Also Sevika doesn't have an arm. Also Vander is dead. So is Benzo. Which is a bummer.

Jayce hates everything that's going on around him buts this man is SUICIDAL he's just kinda going with the flow. Having him gives Viktor his backbone and morals back. Slowly. Ver slowly.

Hextech develops WAY slower. Like they're working in a drug den there's absolutely no way there's the same conditions. They're doing their best though.

Jayce Is actually really impressed by shimmer and how it can "help" people. He's gaslighting himself ATP and everyone else is enabling him.

Also eventually Silco also gives Viktor a laced brace that makes him mildly addicted to shimmer. Viktor is clever enough to realize what's going on but also experienced enough to know that refusal would be seen as an offense. He takes the brace on and off with his own prototypes. Sevika and him both know they're just digging themselves into a deeper hole.

Silco actually tries to kill jayce one because he was getting too fucking annoying, but Jinx steps in. He reminds him of claggor (in a way). She claims that they're both her friends and silco just seethes in silence.

They help raise her. Kinda.

I wrote all of this so I could successfully say that they have a tea party with jer

THEY LOVE LIL JINX OKAAY. Specially jayce. He takes all his emptiness and tries to fill it with love for her and Viktor, the only two people he feels are kind of honest to him

Also Jayce being jealous of the fact that Viktor got around, specially when he has the audacity to give powder boy's advice (sevika is a STONE TOP LESBIAN you can NOT tell me anything else) right in Jayce's face. Yeah. Miscommunication. Falling in love. Devotion and guilt. Feelings of owing. Hesitant kisses and never said words. YEEES. I know it's a bit tropey but I like it so. Yeah.

Also both Jayce and Vik have long hair. Jinx insisted they let it grow like hers. Jayce's actually reaches his shoulder plates/mid back while Viktor keeps it shoulder length, just long enough to tie it. I think. Still haven't decided since long hair Jayce is too hard to mentally picture but I know he would look GOOD

Yes this also means that Jayce and Vi meet even earlier. They take a look at each other as they both try to calm down jinx and Become Best Friends™

Caitlyn always has a heart attack because YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. She, like Vi, goes "yeah silco is definitely keeping my sister/brother captive" and they're both like You Will Not Believe This.

Viktor doesn't join them in their adventures because he is Not jumping around the roofs. He uses a cane. Leave him alone jinx no he can't climb the stupid ass tower.

Jinx and Jayce become a sort of "ground control" thing. Jayce is BUFFED that man can stand his own in a fight. He's not as quick or flexible but he makes up for it in pure absolute brawn. They're not actually doing anything useful they're just entertaining Jinx every so often.

Idk guys this au is consuming my brain.

I have more ideas but this was way too long already

If u read this far u can actually ask for a small scene on the au or add an idea and I'll write it for u

[nthspecialll]

Going to ramble a little bit here and I’m curious to hear your thoughts. Bill is one of my favourite characters in rdr2, which is a statement people often validly criticise because of Bill’s racism, aggression, general bigotry, and of course the monster he grows into in rdr1. But to me Bill is such a heartbreaking character because I truly believe he could have been so easily swayed down a better path if someone had have just tried to help him.

Bill was a very insecure and repressed man and throughout the entirety of the second game he is constantly seeking appraisal from the gang, you see it in the random camp interaction where he makes a show of bringing fish to Pearson, desperate for any kind of acknowledgment for his hard work and he only gets a small thank you from Pearson and Arthur in return. You see it in the sentiment that Bill repeats a few times when talking about his jealousy of Arthur, how he feels like he’s not allowed to make the same mistakes Arthur would be given a slap on the wrist for. You see it when he asks Kieran to have drink with him and then becomes upset and defensive when his genuine vulnerable attempt at connection is rejected.

A lot of people can’t see past Bill’s racism, which is fair, but I also see it as another really tragic and realistic part of his character. In his racist interactions with Charles, Lenny and Javier I think he’s acting out for attention because he doesn’t know any other way to get it and I don’t believe he actually holds real hatred for any of them because of their race, I think Bill deeply loves and respects them as his brothers despite his mistreatment of them. I see this as different to someone like Micah who is just genuinely hateful in his black little heart. Bill was taken into the army as a young man and spoon fed racist rhetoric by the people he respected and looked up to, his superiors, his brothers in arms. They’d share boogeyman stories about how bloodthirsty the natives were and fill his impressionable mind hatred, and then he had all those racist horror stories reaffirmed when they’d send him out to watch the men he considered brothers be slaughtered in battle by said boogeymen. I think it’s clear Bill has PTSD from his army days which warps the way he sees the world around him, I think Dutch (despite the can of worms that is his own racism) says it best when he says “I don’t doubt you saw things Bill but your tiny little mind was too small to comprehend what you saw. What you saw was people who lost everything to savagery.” I believe that Dutch especially, considering the idol he is to Bill, had the opportunity to educate him and help him be a kinder man and yet he chose not to despite his Evelyn Miller fuelled white-saviour-complex. Bill’s trauma obviously doesn’t excuse any of his actions, but I think it is evidence that he had the capacity to learn and be helped if someone had just believed in his intelligence enough to try.

Also lastly a big part of Bill’s insecurity can be attributed to his repressed sexuality, people talk about it a lot so I won’t say much but the part of it that hurts me the most is that Bill lost EVERYTHING for being gay. When he was discharged from the army he lost his job, his home, his food, his friends and his dignity. He was left homeless on the streets, turning to alcohol and becoming the man his father was, and robbing people just to get by. Dutch saved him and became his messiah, he gave him purpose again and then intentionally left him uneducated and pining for his approval to use him as a tool the same way the army did. Taking advantage of all the good parts of Bill Williamson and leaving them to rot and fester under the filth.

What are your thoughts on how Bill was treated and what could have changed for him had he been treated differently? RIP Bill Williamson I could have taken better care of you <3

Well you touched on a lot of subjects that I have already touched on in my other Bill posts, so I guess I won't need to go into background details LMFAO.

Bill was treated like a fool by everyone for every small mistake he has every made no matter how small it is, because most are small, and he is also blamed for things that aren't really his fault, like Sean's death. He is pretty much that one person you use as the butt of a joke, and a lot of characters don't really give him a fair chance.

John actually seems to be his best friend though, they are both kind of labeled as lazy, they are both drunks and they both know it is a problem. The issue is that John is given a lot more freedoms than Bill is and that leads to him becoming very jealous very easily, John to some extent seems to notice it but it doesn't seem to bother him.

Bill really seems to like Lenny, taking him out to drink and out to rob and calling him his son, however Lenny doesn't really seem to be that enthusiastic. It seems that Lenny goes with Bill when Bill asks, but he doesn't seem to be the one to take initiative to do something with him.

Now Hosea, he is absolutely not giving Bill a fair chance, he is going after him constantly and literally setting Bill up for failure. Hosea really seems to be using his senority against Bill and being a dick to him. Micah does the same, except he seems to hide it a little better because he feels they are on the same side.

Dutch is treating Bill like he is a child and a fool, even thoguh everything Bill does it to please Dutch.

As for what could have changed, I think a lot, like a lot. Steve said that if just someone had told Bill "hey we appriciate you" he would have sided with Arthur, and that is a massive thing because it means betraying Dutch whom he is otherwise so loyal to. So I think you can change pretty much anything about Bill if you just treat him nicely, it might take some time and a few reminders, but yeah his racism, his sour comments, his drinking could likely be changed if just effort was put into it, if someone encouraged him and stood by him.

[misshoneyimhome]

What's up buttercups!

So, we’re kicking off Sexy Christmas a little early this year—because why not? 🎄✨

And what better way to jump-start the holiday vibes than with the generous helping of Willy-deliciousness? ❤️‍🔥 Buckle up for a mix of holiday cheer, tension, and a whole lot of heat. I hope you enjoy this festive treat!

Happy (early) holidays and happy reading babes!

➼｡ﾟ

Naughty Under the Tree - William Nylander

OC unwraps an unexpected gift from her hockey player love interest—him, wearing only a strategically placed ribbon, waiting for her under the Christmas tree.

Tropes & Warnings: 18+ smut, William Nylander x reader oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex (p in v)

Word count: 2.2K

The quiet hum of Christmas jazz filled the room as the golden glow of the tree lights reflected off your dark red silk pyjamas. The set—a matching button-up top and shorts—had been a spontaneous indulgence for the holidays. It hugged your curves just enough to feel elegant but comfortable, perfect for a cosy evening spent unwrapping gifts.

And yet, the most important gift was still missing: your boyfriend.

You glanced at the clock and sighed, swirling the last bit of wine in your glass. William had been acting strange all day, sneaking off with a mischievous grin that made you suspicious. Now, you were alone on the couch, the festive atmosphere of the room only accentuating the absence of his usual playful energy.

Your phone buzzed, and you glanced at the message.

William: Be ready in 5. Trust me. Close your eyes when I say so.

Your brow furrowed, but your lips curled into a smile. What was he up to this time? You placed your glass on the coffee table and leaned back into the sofa cushions, deciding to play along.

Moments later, you heard the door open. The familiar creak of his footsteps mixed with the faint rustle of bags. “You’re back,” you called out, your voice laced with curiosity.

“Stay there,” he replied, his tone teasing. “And close your eyes. No peeking.”

You sighed dramatically but obeyed, shutting your eyes and crossing your arms. “This better not involve glitter or reindeer antlers,” you teased.

He chuckled, the sound growing closer. “Just trust me.”

You heard the soft shuffle of movement near the Christmas tree, followed by the faint clink of ornaments shifting. The seconds stretched, and your anticipation built until finally, his voice broke through the silence.

“Okay,” he said, a smile audible in his tone. “Open your eyes.”

You blinked your eyes open—and gasped.

William lay sprawled out beneath the Christmas tree, the twinkling lights casting golden highlights across his toned body. He was entirely bare except for a single large red ribbon tied around his hips, the bow sitting precariously low on his waist. His golden hair was slightly tousled, and his blue eyes sparkled with mischief as he rested his head on one hand, looking like a gift-wrapped fantasy come to life.

“Merry Christmas,” he said, his grin boyish yet impossibly alluring.

Your hand flew to your mouth as you fought back laughter and heat rising in your cheeks. “Oh my God,” you breathed, unsure whether to scold him or climb on top of him. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” he said, gesturing to himself. “I’m your present. Unwrap me.”

You shook your head, your laughter finally spilling out. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And yet, you love me for it,” he countered, his grin softening as he propped himself up slightly. His voice dropped to a lower, more serious tone. “You’ve been stressed lately. I just wanted to give you something… more special.”

Your smile softened, your heart melting at his words. You moved closer to him, kneeling by the edge of the tree. “You’re already the best gift,” you said, your fingers reaching out to trace the ribbon resting on his waist.

His breath hitched slightly at your touch, and you noticed his grin shift into something more serious. “Good,” he murmured, “because I’m all yours tonight.”

Your hand lingered on his bare skin, and the playful tension between you thickened into something deeper. He reached up, brushing his fingers along your cheek, and the gesture made your heart flutter. Slowly, he sat up, his face mere inches from yours, and leaned in to capture your lips in a kiss.

The kiss started soft, tender, but quickly deepened as his hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer. You could feel the heat radiating off his body as his lips moved against yours, igniting a fire in your chest. Without thinking, you climbed onto his lap, your silky pyjamas brushing against his bare skin. His hands roamed over your thighs, pushing the hem of your shorts up slightly as he groaned into the kiss.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured against your lips, his voice thick with desire.

You smiled into the kiss, threading your fingers through his hair as you pressed your body closer to his, feeling his hardness slowly growing. The ribbon slipped loose from his waist, falling to the side as your hands explored the hard planes of his chest, savouring the warmth of his skin beneath your touch.

Breaking the kiss for just a moment, William rose effortlessly, lifting you in his arms as he carried you to the sofa. He set you down gently, hovering over you as the tree lights bathed you both in a soft, romantic glow.

“You’re overdressed,” he teased, his voice a low murmur as his fingers toyed with the buttons on your pyjama top.

“Are you going to do something about it?” you challenged, your tone breathless yet playful, a hint of anticipation lacing your words.

William’s lips curved into a smirk, his blue eyes darkening with desire. “Gladly.”

He didn’t need further encouragement. His hands moved deftly, undoing each button with deliberate, torturous slowness, as though savouring every moment of unveiling you. His lips never left your skin, pressing soft, lingering kisses along your jawline, down the curve of your neck, and across the delicate line of your collarbone. Each press of his lips sent tiny sparks dancing across your body, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.

When he reached the last button, he paused, his fingers brushing over the open fabric of your top as the cool air whispered across your bare skin. A shiver coursed through you, though it had nothing to do with the temperature. The silky fabric slid off your shoulders with ease, pooling around your elbows. William’s gaze raked over you, his expression a mixture of awe and reverence.

“You’re perfect,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion as his hands traced the curves of your exposed body. His palms brushed over the soft swell of your breasts, down the curve of your waist, and along your hips, each touch igniting a fire that burned hotter with every second.

His lips followed his hands, trailing featherlight kisses across your collarbone, down the centre of your chest, and along the soft curves that rose and fell with each unsteady breath. The deliberate slowness of his movements was intoxicating, his attention making you feel like you were the centre of his universe.

His kisses deepened, growing more urgent as he slid the waistband of your pyjama shorts down your hips, revealing bright red lace beneath. He paused, his lips hovering above your exposed skin, his breath hot against your thighs as his hands roamed over your body.

“You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” he muttered, his voice low and filled with want.

Your hands found their way into his hair, your fingers tangling in the soft strands as you tugged him closer. “Good,” you whispered, your voice trembling but firm.

He smirked against your skin before his lips found yours again, fiery and consuming, his kiss a perfect blend of tenderness and raw passion. His hands slipped under the lace, his fingers brushing against your sensitive core, drawing a gasp from your lips. He teased you with light strokes, circling your clit with just the right pressure before slipping a finger inside you, his touch both gentle and confident.

“William,” you breathed his name, your voice a plea and a prayer all at once.

He watched your face as he worked his magic, adding another finger to stretch you gently, curling and pumping them in a rhythm that made your breath hitch with every movement. His thumb pressed against your clit, coaxing soft whimpers from you as your hips instinctively rocked against his hand.

“I could make you come just like this,” he whispered, his voice thick with pride and affection, his gaze locked on yours. “But not tonight. Tonight, I want to feel every part of you.”

Before you could respond, he shifted lower, his hands gripping your thighs as he knelt between them. He pressed his mouth against your core, his tongue tracing slow, deliberate circles that made you arch against him. His fingers continued their slow rhythm inside you, complementing the movements of his mouth in a way that left you utterly undone.

“William,” you gasped, your hands gripping the cushions beneath you as your body tightened with pleasure.

He hummed in response, the vibration sending a fresh wave of heat through you. His mouth was relentless, his tongue and lips working in perfect harmony to push you closer and closer to the edge.

And when the climax hit, it was nothing but overwhelming, your body trembling as a wave of pure ecstasy washed over you. Your moans filled the room, your fingers tightening in his hair as he held you steady, his movements slowing as he guided you through the aftermath.

He rose to meet you, his lips brushing against yours, tasting like the very essence of you. William laid you back on the sofa, his body fitting perfectly against yours. The feel of his bare skin against yours was intoxicating, the warmth of him grounding you as the firelight cast flickering shadows across his face.

“I need you,” he murmured, his voice rough with longing as he positioned himself above you.

“I’m yours,” you whispered, your hands gripping his shoulders as he aligned himself with you.

He entered you slowly, his movements deliberate and careful, savouring every second as he filled you completely. A gasp escaped your lips, the sensation almost overwhelming. The connection between you was more profound than words could capture—like two halves of the same whole finding their place.

William’s eyes locked with yours, his gaze intense and filled with emotion as he began to move, each thrust measured and unhurried. The way his body fit perfectly with yours was exquisite, his movements deliberate yet deeply passionate, a rhythm that felt both instinctive and consuming.

Each time he pushed deeper, his length stretched and massaged your inner walls in a way that had you trembling beneath him. The slight curve of his hips allowed him to hit spots that made you cry out softly, your fingers clawing at his back as waves of pleasure built inside you.

“You feel so good,” he murmured against your ear, his voice strained yet tender as he pressed his lips to the sensitive skin of your neck. His breath was hot, his words sending shivers down your spine as your bodies moved together, perfectly in sync.

Your nails dug into his shoulders, marking him as your moans grew louder, more desperate. His name fell from your lips like a mantra, each syllable a plea for more. Meanwhile, William’s control was slipping. His fists clenched the cushions on either side of you, his jaw tightening as he tried to hold himself back, wanting to draw out the moment. But the way your body responded to him—the way your walls clenched tightly around his cock, pulling him deeper—made it nearly impossible to resist.

“Fuck baby, I can’t hold it,” he groaned, his voice husky as his forehead pressed against yours. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment, a visible battle between holding on and giving in to the overwhelming pleasure.

The heat between you intensified, your breaths mingling as you pushed each other closer and closer to the edge. The friction, the closeness, the way every part of him seemed to align perfectly with you—it was all-consuming. Every thrust, every moan, every whispered word of encouragement sent you both spiralling higher, the world around you blurring until there was only him, only this.

And as he continued to push harder and faster, you cried out as your climax hit, your body arching against his as waves of pleasure crashed over you. Your walls clenched tightly around him again, and the sensation pulled him into his own release. His name escaped your lips in a breathless whisper just as his hips jerked, his own groan filling the room as he buried himself deep inside you, spilling into you as his body trembled with the intensity of it all.

For a moment, neither of you moved, your bodies still locked together, trembling from the aftershocks. William lowered himself carefully, his weight warm and grounding as he pressed a series of soft kisses to your shoulder, then your collarbone, before finally burying his face in the crook of your neck.

His arms wrapped around you protectively, pulling you close as his breathing began to slow, his lips brushing against your skin as he murmured, “You’re amazing.”

You smiled, your fingers tracing lazy patterns along the muscles of his back. “You’re not so bad yourself,” you teased softly, though your voice was still thick with affection.

He chuckled, the sound low and content as he shifted just enough to meet your eyes. His blue gaze was softer now, filled with something deeper than lust—a warmth and adoration that made your heart swell.

As the two of you lay tangled together on the sofa, the flickering light of the Christmas tree casting a warm glow over your bodies, you couldn’t help but feel like this was the perfect gift. Nothing else in the world mattered at that moment except the man holding you as if you were his entire world.

[mixelation]

been rotating a minakushi/mikoto concept, help

concept is basically: kushina and minato have an open relationship because he takes Long Missions; kushina starts hooking up with mikoto. kushina and minato would have been 19-20 when itachi is born, so i think mikoto is definitely already married. on the fence about how much fugaku knows about this and his opinion. leaning towards "fugaku is cool with mikoto hooking up with other women, because their marriage is largely political and he doesn't consider kushina a threat to their marriage*"

*for multiple reasons-- kushina can't get mikoto pregnant (important because this is why he married mikoto), kushina's not going to displace him as head of house or head of clan or gain sway within the clan from it (because she's not an uchiha), my understanding is that in japanese culture f/f romance is often seen as a phase/immature and not necessarily "real"

anyway then minato gets nominated for hokage and is back in konoha mostly full time again. instead of breaking up with mikoto, kushina pitches a threesome, and mikoto goes for it without consulting or telling fugaku. itachi is a toddler and she'd thought she'd be going back to active missions but the clan wants her to be a perfect housewife with more babies and she loves her kid but she's BORED and minakushi make her feel good. kushina is kind of envisioning this as a continuation of the "vaguely open marriage" arrangement mikoto has because kushina is not a homewrecker, but minato doesn't give a shit (and is maybe even MORE into it?) so she changes her mind quickly. she and mikoto are "best friends" so no one blinks an eye at mikoto occasionally being over late

threesome doesn't last very long because minato becoming hokage means a lot of power for him but also a lot of loss of privacy. they mutually agree to break it off and mikoto and kushina remain close friends. the timeline is such that sasuke is definitely fugaku's, but also people will question this later (i went back and forth on it, because i don't think minato is the type to abandon a baby thta's biologically his, and mikoto isn't the type to slip up with her contraceptive & i like the idea that ninja contraceptives are really really good)

anyway. flash forward a year and a half-ish and naruto is born. the affair creates a butterfly effect where, idk, there's an uchiha guard or maybe even mikoto herself on kushina's protection squad, and this is enough to tip the obito vs minato battle hard enough in minato's favor that his intervention is better. leaning towards the kyuubi being partially extracted such that there's still an attack on the village itself, but kushina reseals it into her and comes out physically spent but in no danger of dying.

so the namikaze-uzumaki family is all alive, but kushina isn't doing well physically or mentally and minato is both exhausted and stupid busy trying to clean up the mess and they have a one day old baby and no family help. (kakashi is fourteen and jiraiya is off trying to track down the mask man, and yep that's about all they have to lean on.) so mikoto shows up with baby sauske strapped to her back and is like "okay, we're a village and we help each other"

kushina: no, no, i want to be a good mom, i can do this--

mikoto: we're helping each other. you're helping me by sitting with the babies while they nap and i'm helping you by making a list of chores that need to be done by the help your husband, our benign dictator, is going to assign

kushina: but i want to be the one who--

mikoto: i know, i wanted to too. but you need to rest and hiring someone to clean your house because your husband won't your husband can't feels SO good

and mikoto tells fugaku she's basically living at her friend's just while she gets back on her feet (and isn't this SO good for the clan, her helping the hokage's wife with their baby), but then she just. never really leaves

for this AU i'm also toying with the idea of fugaku/the uchiha in general still wanting a coup and mikoto NOT wanting it because she wants to fuck the hokage in this universe, so there's some drama about what happens if the hokage cucks the uchiha clan head??? but also mikoto lets itachi be pushed through the ranks because she wants him to take over as clan head ASAP

[atoriv-art]

What are your thoughts on Sasuke x Gaara

beautiful showstopping saved my life we love you sasugaa <333

ok to actually answer: i think they have a very compelling dynamic! i really really like their chunin exams era with gaara being weirdly obsessed with sasuke because they're both "damaged" to put it in some way!

i wish we got to see sasuke's opinion about it a little more, especially since it comes at a time where he's starting to come around to the idea of using his power to protect and not just kill itachi, but this "i relate to your pain and i need to make sure my pain (and to gaara, therefore my power) is still bigger and more powerful" dynamic is soooo fun to me as an introduction point between them! i find it a lot more compelling than what it got interrupted by 😅

i understand the value of having gaara see someone who is Literally just like him (ie also a jinchuriki), but imo having him deal with someone who he perceives as Emotionally just like him (ie traumatized, angry and lonely) was already excellent...

also!!!!!!!!!! i'm not a fan of how sasuke is characterized in the five kage summit in general (or rather how he's demonized by the framing of it all. i love a good public meltdown. his evil laugh lives in my brain) BUT i looooooooove the scene with gaara confronting him i was NOT expecting it when i was watching it the first time and it was like an angel smiled down upon me.

and and and (guy who gets to bring up the naruto games again) they do a fun reversal of their original dynamic there it in the ninja storm games, with sasuke being the one to flaunt his pain and power against gaara

LIKE SORRY I JUST THINK IT'S FUNNN!!!! they have a lot in common and deal with it similarly but when gaara's at his lowest sasuke's starting to get better, and that gets flipped later on: when gaara's figured himself out it's sasuke who's completely spiraling... hehehehe!

ok ill put the rest in a read-more. jesus

i get why the pairing isn't very popular (sasuke has like, two of the biggest pairings soaking up all of the fandom attention span alkdsmak) but i cannot standddd the weird consensus that they don't like each other 😭 gaara showed in that scene that he does still hold some amount of respect and empathy for sasuke, enough to offer him a helping hand when he was at his lowest, and sasuke himself was engaging in the conversation much as he disagreed with gaara... it's gaara who starts the fighting back up, not sasuke!

imo gaara's words to naruto later on that get twisted into a "girl dump him" speech (😒.) are obviously meant to serve as a warning to manage expectations, because he Knows his friend is still not going to give up on sasuke and might not even particularly want him to, but he's speaking from the kage angle as opposed to what he personally would want

gaara CRIED for sasuke and stopped the fighting specifically to talk to him for fuck's sake he doesn't HATE him, his siblings have to convince him to give up on trying to talk to him and there's a distinction made of what should be done as a kage. and while i have a thousand things to say about how i don't love how the manga handles its kage characters wrt framing them as Generally Good, i do think it's notable that it's this that makes him give it up

"personal feelings" meaning, his siblings can recognize that gaara doesn't fucking want to fight him and would really prefer to talk this out. I think about this a lot sorry KSMDKSMDK so much of the consensus is that gaara, specifically, can't stand sasuke and for WHAT.

and as a sidebar i think their insistence on calling e/o by their full names/titles ("Uchiha Sasuke" / "Gaara Of The Sand") is so fucking funny.

i know what you are. also:

sasuke engaging in battle banter. OPEN YOUR EYES

ANYWAY!

i actually think that of my "quirky" pairings (the sasugaaneji triad that is.) it's the one with the most canon basis and it's not even close. however it's also the one that i notice people engaging the least with ASKJDNSAKD which is obviously fine it's just a little funny to me

[la-principessa-nuova]

interesting, i was already under the impression that “identify as” was generally considered outdated

It was definitely the language I had previously heard of when I first realized I was trans and it honestly really messed me up and set me back thinking of it that way.

Because like of course I didn’t “identify as” a woman yet because I had been systematically excluded from the label my entire life and I had a lot of baggage to work through to accept that term for myself.

That language required me to work backwards by first working through all of my insecurities about applying the label to myself before I could then connect with my emotions and start to understand my own femininity and sense of belonging as a woman. So instead I put the thoughts on the back burner for 8 years until I happened to learn enough to think to approach it from the other direction.

I do find the “identify as” language useful for describing specifically whether a label fits me but that should only really come up rarely in deep discussion of terminology, most often with other trans people, and always when you’re primarily talking about the term itself and how you feel about it rather than just describing yourself. And even then it’s probably better to explain more deeply what you mean by that.

But at least for me, the “identify as” and similar wording may be useful for conveying some deep thoughts about my connection to the terms nonbinary and woman and explaining my history of accepting that those words do describe me, but also it still tends to send me into a spiral of self doubt and confusion because my feelings about words are complicated and linked to others’ expectations in a way that at least for me now, my sense of who and what I am isn’t. I have to remind myself mid-spiral to pause and connect with that for a moment to avoid talking myself into a panic.

idk i guess im just sort of rambling at this point

Idk more half baked thoughts time bc I'm procrastinating on finishing something I need to get done before the long weekend

I think somewhere along the way of not trying to be transmed we invented terms that trivialize the experience of all trans people, and honestly, especially those who are targets of transmed rhetoric and not on HRT.

"AGAB"

"identify" as a verb

And other examples but can't really think of them rn

[utilitycaster]

A thought in my head I’d like your take on about Liliana (and the whole campaign). You’ve talked a lot about how this campaign is more streamlined/like a module, like Matt wanted to tell The Moon Story this campaign, and for many reasons the Hells seem to have less agency than previous parties. I’m curious if Imogen ever could’ve convinced Liliana to join them, like if Matt would’ve let it happen or he always wanted to let this moment happen. Like Imogen didn’t often get to roll persuasion? It was just a lot of trying and failing to convince her mom, whereas like in campaign 2 Essek, someone the characters didn’t even know was bad, they managed to convince him to “switch sides” without even trying. Idk just all the circular arguments with Liliana, like “I can fix him, I can steer him in a different direction, I can’t leave the children, I can’t help you” it just feels like Matt was never going to let them bring Liliana over to their side

So this is a wild personal hunch but I honestly do not know if Matt realized initially that Imogen would try to persuade her mother. Like, I will admit to having a lot of D&D instincts that are very different than Laura's because I would have absolutely have gone for the assassination and Liliana would have possibly been out of the picture long before now, presumably (and to be clear, that would have had its own consequences! Ludinus probably would have gotten someone else to broadcast the Downfall information). I wouldn't be surprised if Matt was surprised that Imogen cared this much about someone who was consistently unhelpful and had abandoned her.

But more generally I think that Essek and Liliana are just different people. Essek did not believe in a specific cause and generally thought Ludinus sucked, but would at least provide some answers. I think by the time the Mighty Nein rolled around he was already having some regrets, even if they were largely self-interested at the time, and so being treated as just a normal guy was enough to start the process of shaking him out of it. He also was intended as an interesting recurring NPC, and the party adopted him for a number of reasons.

Liliana was already fully on Ludinus's side when the story started (though, again, aware enough to know Imogen should probably stay away) and was intended as an antagonist. It makes sense the party would cross paths fewer times with her than the Mighty Nein with Essek. There was no opportunity to hang out with her socially without the fact that she was fully in this cult hanging over everyone's head; we knew she was part of the Vanguard before we met her in person. I think it's more that like, the DC to pull her away was very high! She is either indoctrinated or genuinely of her own accord believes in the cause of the Vanguard. I think if Imogen had done a better job during the initial ritual things might have been different, but once she locked into the path I think it is reasonable DM-ing not to have her so easily swayed.

[whorrorbvby]

an update:

hey friends a lot of people have been asking where ive been on other socials and im sorry for being m.i.a and ignoring everyone’s worries. im not getting into it right now and i dont know if i want to talk about the details publicly. 

i deleted tumblr from my phone about two and a half weeks ago and ive had a friend keeping a queue going on main for me. it might be that way permanently now i don’t know. I don’t know that I want to come back to tumblr if im being honest. a lot of things happened and i just can’t handle seeing certain people anymore so i’ve been hanging out on two of the more safer socials where tumblr people people generally leave me alone. not that im upset with you any of you or anything it’s more of a personal relationship and it just turned me off of basically everything and i just can’t handle a lot right now.  

i didn’t want to stop posting my own content for obvious reasons but i really can’t bring myself to come back it’s too hard and my heart can’t handle it right now. i also haven’t taken any new photos or anything and as of right now i don’t really feel super comfortable in sharing my body in that way. situations have made me feel disgusting as a person and i can’t look at myself. im trying to post more on ig to boost myself back up but i don’t know my self image is kind of ruined now. plus i’ve lost 15lbs from stress and inability to eat because of it and with how many people already harass and bully me for how scrawny i am i don’t want to subject myself in my current mental state to even the possibility of anyone saying anything. 

but like i said i have a friend running main for me and i might have them run this account too and my pepper page just because i do want to go back to making content i just dont know if i can handle posting or being in certain spaces right now. 

on top of what im currently dealing with in my personal life this is just a really hard time for me in general because of the holiday season and close to the anniversary of my best friends death so i tend to shut down a little anyway it’s just my entire world came crashing down again and im honestly starting to give up on even existing. i know im being melodramatic and i need to suck it up and just go back to status quo it’s just really hard this time and i cant force myself into a positive headspace like i used to even for a second. i have honestly never felt this empty and i barely know who i am or what my worth is anymore. 

i dont know if i’ll turn my asks back on. my friend offered to answer anything for me but its better for my mental health if i dont because i know people will ask questions and i dont trust myself to not completely go off on a tangent. im sorry i know im rambling but i feel like a proper update with zero room for misunderstanding is needed and i dont want to sugarcoat or lie to any of you to make myself seem or feel better cuz i respect the hell out of you guys and you deserve honesty if for nothing else. and i appreciate so fucking much you all continuing to support me and hype me up through all the bullshit life keeps throwing at me. 

im mostly on ig and threads right now and on threads im talking about games and movies with new people im meeting and it’s been really helping through shit. if you follow me on snap you saw me say im thinking about deleting everything. my accounts are still up and as long as my friend still wants to help me out i’ll at least have a queue running on main but i’ve deleted every social app other than ig and threads. i wholeheartedly planned on deleting snap last night but it’s the only way some of you get any updates from me so for now i wont delete it but i might make a new one instead just to get away from situations that are bringing me down. we’ll see. if I make a new snap i’ll post it everywhere n put it in my bios. that being said i don’t have a private/nsfw snap and i wont make one im sorry. i still wont sell content outside of what i post on peppers and i wont do customs im sorry. maybe in the future but right now i need to focus on myself and getting out of this headspace before i do anything else. 

but truly thank you for sticking with me and just genuinely being the best crew around. i promise to try my best to get out of this mess of a headspace im in as quickly as possible and im really sorry for basically abandoning everything again but i really am hopeful for the future and just trying to focus on myself and my happiness at the moment 🙏🏻🧡

[besttropeveershowdown]

The SECOND Best Trope Ever Showdown: EMERGENCY TIEBREAKER

Exposition Cut

When characters don't know something the audience already knows, but the story chooses to set up another character beginning to explain the information to them and then cutting to when they're done instead of showing the full explanation of information the audience already has

Exposition Cut - TV Tropes

Propaganda:

I think it's soooo much better than feeling like you *always* need to re-hear exposition you already know just to make sure the audience 100% understands the character has heard it instead of just being able to pick up on the implication. It helps make the moments when we *do* really need to see a character reaction to information more impactful, because it means the audience knows when they are seeing a character re-explain something, they are still about to learn or experience something new instead of just having exposition for the sake of exposition

Apocalypse Maiden

A character that's destined to start the apocalypse (usually against their will/not through any voluntary action)

Apocalypse Maiden - TV Tropes

Propaganda:

It often figures in stories that end up being about fighting/defying your destiny (which I like as a general premise element), and even when the apocalyptic character *does* end up actually causing the apocalypse and it isn't able to be prevented (or the only way to prevent it is by killing them), it stills helps set up a lot of plot elements that are interesting to work with, like having your main character wrestle with deciding between the apocalypse-causing character (who is often someone they care about) and the world, trying to go to lengths to prevent what seems inevitable, and dealing with the fallout- either from killing someone they loved (or at least someone themselves innocent) or from failing to do so and letting the world be destroyed.

[nsfwarros1]

what do you think happens the day gort becomes immobile.. I imagine it would be an extremely erotic experience for them both?

I’ve talked a bit about this and immobility in general when it comes to them, I always tag it (#immobility) on both blogs!

however I wanna say that there was no… day of sudden immobility or anything like that. It’s not how it realistically happens anyways, even moreso with Gortcas as Cas is the main reason he’s still mobile at this weight, helping him up helping him around and all. Gortash has his bad days on which he can’t like… sit up himself in bed or get up from his throne, but then another day he may be able to again due to feeling better and having more energy. So personally, while full immobility canonically already doesn’t happen, I don’t ever see this happening as some… single day big event or anything

I imagine though that there was a day where Cas realized he can’t heave himself off of the bed by himself anymore at all. Cas doesn’t usually let him struggle and try or anything, so it is possible that he didn’t really notice up until then. Cas just looking at him for a bit as he realizes, looking at him like some…. delicious prey animal💜 Realization also slowly hitting Gortash as he’s all out of breath and wheezing from trying to pull himself up. For Gortash it’d definitely be a moment of shock turned into eroticism and almost bliss knowing that he’s closer to the future Cas wants for him AND knowing that Cas is watching. You can imagine the rest I assume, he didn’t leave the bed that day🤞

I also wanna say though, that again, this wouldnt really make him fully immobile or anything, he could still get up when Cas just pulls him up, and while he cant waddle around a whole lot, he still *can* move

[beatcroc]

three HUNDRED hours ringracers everybody.

getting very near the maximum amount of single-player completion of this game i'll be able to achieve....

continued notes from [the tags of] the last part re: character usage & activities:

1. this snake has exploded 1500 times. REALLY been hammering at the spb challenges with redz there; i've given thorough attempts to every stage now so there's not much left to mess with and he'll get overtaken by the true mains again eventually. as of posting, there are 33/152 spb medals i don't have. most of those aren't happening, but i'd like to at least get down to 30. 25 if i'm really reaching.

2/3. magician and mecha remain my all-purpose general mains, and the only guys i use in online play [save for when im doing a bit w/ people :p]. mecha will likely be overtaking magician soon because i'm no longer afraid of using him outside of 50cc and he's usually my more consistent character [yknow, as opposed to the "character who is the random button", who'd have guessed]. magician is still my favorite funny pick, but recently i've only been using her on days i dont feel like dealing with how unwieldy mecha's 9w ass is.

3. sliver made a pretty big leap in "matches played" as well, as i started using him in the spb challenges on tracks where i needed a much sharper turn/drift than redz' being a 7w allows. thankfully i've found that his excellent ring-boost stat [+my better understanding of how the spb works] does a lot to make up for the poorer drift-turbos. hes exploded 300 times.

4. cluckoid my fucking GOAT, back in the top 6 again because it's by far the character im actually best with; been using it to clear out grand prix on master difficulty [and get emeralds]. i truly had zero intention of getting all emeralds on master but i just kind of sat down to mess with it one evening and then immediately went on a streak of 8 consecutive gp's where i pulled an emerald. considering the 3 i'd had before that i was like. ok well theres no reason to not finish this out now.

6. and then shadow's still there. he's basically been retired. there's still a good number of time trial medals i want to go for, but ive learned a lot abt the game's mechanics since then and it turns out he's actually really suboptimal for how time trials work. cream the rabbit has been rising up in his stead, but it's doubtful there's enough left to do with her that she'll surpass him. my initial thought-to-be-outlandish goal was to hit 750 medals, but... well i did that already. i think the platinum medals don't actually count as part of the game's "784" medal total??? and are actually extra bonuses that count on top of/beyond that?? so now if i'm being really funny i'd like to go above the 784 ""total"" count but again that is PUSHING IT. we'll see though.

metal sonic kicked out of top 6 forever amen <3 goodbye you little shit

everybody give it up for 100 hours of ringracers

[tjerra14]

sure would like to not feel like suffocating every few minutes again

[sixoclocker]

red giant starlo au doodles