#and from there...... I'm gonna try to stay relatively caught up

[byanyan]

we're down to 9 drafts left that're from before february, plus 5 which are from the last week. progress has slowed over the last couple days (for various reasons) but hoo boy, we're still working our way toward being caught up and only!! getting!!! closer!!!!!

[writingoddess1125]

Deadpool Headcanon

Dad!Deadpool and GN Reader

Fluffy Weirdness

Kinda just came to me so enjoy? 🤷🏼

Masterlist <<

Kofi <<

• Deadpool, finds out that he has a teenage kid, (Y/N) by total accident.

• A relative of a old fling of his telling him they had his kid before disappearing themselves.

• His reaction is a delightful mix of shock, denial, and inappropriate jokes.

"Wait, I'm someone's dad? Damn- They must be fucked up!"

• But underneath all the sarcasm and one-liners, the idea begins to settle into his brain.

• A tinge of fear eats at his brain and itches under his skin..

• When Wade first digs into (Y/N)’s background—using his "very legal" skills—it’s mostly to make sure they’re not a mini supervillain in training.

• But what he finds instead knocks the wind out of him: (Y/N) has been in and out of the foster system for years.

• That hits him harder than he'd like to admit- making him pace a bit back and forth in thought.

• At first, he doesn’t know how to handle it.

• His own past was screwed up, but seeing his kid going through the same kind of instability?

• It messes with him. Wade cracks a joke to numb the ache.

“Of course, my kid’s in the system… couldn’t have inherited my charm or good looks, huh?”

• Deadpool starts paying more attention, following (Y/N) closely.

• He watches them move from one foster home to another, each one more temporary than the last.

• Sometimes (Y/N) would get picked up by a social worker right after school, with nothing more than a worn-out backpack slung over their shoulder.

• Wade stays out of sight, gripping his weapons tighter than he should, resisting the urge to intervene... for now.

• Seeing (Y/N) trying to stay strong, dealing with bullies, shifting from home to home, makes something snap inside Wade.

• He realizes he’s angry, really angry. No kid, especially not ***his kid*** , should have to feel so lost and abandoned.

• He remembers what it was like to feel that way, and no amount of sex, drugs, or killing can take the edge off that pain.

• Wade starts leaving more than just quirky gifts. In (Y/N)’s locker, there’s a new hoodie with a note, “To make you feel less invisible. You’re worth more than these idiots know. ~ D.”

• Another time, a stuffed unicorn with a note, "Even the toughest need a cuddle buddy." One day, Wade overhears (Y/N) talking to a friend about how they’ll probably get moved again soon

"Yeah, these fosters are.. assholes to put it mildly" (Y/N) jest to one of the few friends they have. Not knowing the hoodie that had mysteriously appeared had a wire hidden in it.

• That night, a hefty envelope shows up in their locker, stuffed with cash and a note that says, “You ever need a place to crash? You’ve got options. Let me know when you’re ready. P.S. This is totally not a bribe. ~D”

"I'm probably gonna get moved again-"

• Deadpool even starts anonymously dropping hints to social workers that (Y/N) should stay in one stable placement, using his "subtle" methods to make sure they’re treated better. He also might’ve scared a foster parent or two into straightening up.

• It doesn't take long for (Y/N) to get to notice all the changes- The social workers treating them better, and now getting to stay with an actually nice family.

• He watches (Y/N) cope with it all, still from a distance hkwever, but now more protective than ever. He knows he can’t change the past, but he can sure as hell make sure (Y/N) doesn’t feel abandoned anymore.

Mini Shot

(Y/N) sat on the roof of the foster home, the cool breeze brushing against their face as they stared out into the dimly lit neighborhood wrapping their read hoodie tighter around themselves. As they sat something caught their eye—a shadowy figure across the way from them perfectly out of view, watching them from a distance. Their heart skipped a beat at first in fear, However after a moment a wash of a unknown familiarity seemed to hit.

Before they could stop themselves, (Y/N) called out softly, "Thank you."

The figure stepped into the light just enough for (Y/N) to catch a glimpse of their hand as they gave them a casual thumbs up.

Without a word, he turned and walked away, vanishing into the night as (Y/N) watched. A sense of pride in Wade's step as he headed off. He'd done it—he'd helped his kid in some way.

And that was enough..

For now

[pupmilo-nl]

It was already dark when you turned around the corner of Oak Streat. Normally you'd be miles away, relaxing on uour couch with a nice hot cup of tea before going to bed. You'd never be in the city at this time. And you definitely wouldn't be walking around this neighborhood ... But today you are. It's really unfortunate that the car had to break down, especially after such a long and dreadful day. So when you got a message on grindr asking to hook up and maybe even stay the night you happily said yes.

You finally reached his front door and stopped for a while. Are you sure you're gonna do this? Just crash at a random dudes place? You really needed that place to sleep, and how bad could it be right? His profile had just some photos of his sneaker collection, some sock pics and a picture of his feet. The small parts of him you saw looked promising so it wouldn't be that bad right? The whole sneaker thing was a bit strange but hey, whatever floats your boat.

When you finally got all your thoughts together you rang the bell. It didn't take long for the door to open. A hot guy with the cutest smile ever was standing there, smiling at you and welcoming you in. "Hey! Glad you could find it! And euhh, sorry for still wearing my soccer clothes, didn't had time to shower yet". You definitely knew he was right about the whole no-shower-yet thing ... He was still dripping of sweat and you could have sworn you felt your nose hairs burn. Normally you'd have gagged and ran, but something was different this time. Yeah he reeked, but he radiated a calmness. "Ow that's fine, I'll manage" you responded.

He let you in and you followed him upstairs. "Yeah, sorry for the mess here. I share this place with a couple of other guys and they know how to make a mess... My room should be a bit tidier". Hes was definitely right. His room was relatively big and had not much in it. Just a desk, a closet, a plant and his bed. There was one thing which caught your eye though, his big sneaker collection, stacked up high right above his bed.

"You like them? It took a long time to get that many. I'm very picky you know" He was so right, there were so many! You noticed that seeing them was not the only thing you did... You definitely could smell them too. As he closes the door behind you the smell of humid sweaty sneaksers fills the room. It hits you so hard your eye's start to tear up a little bit.

"yeah sorry for that smell.... They do stink a bit dont they hehe. I like it tho, it remembers me of their former self, euhh previous owners". You were just a tiny bit too occupied by the smell and trying to listen to him that you didn't notice that slip up. "You didn't think I bought them all don't you? That would cost a fortune... No, they were somebody else! Euh somebody else's!"

Somebody else!?!?! What the fck was he talking about? Oh help of course you got the weirdo... Oh well, it's just for a night right? And he's hot as hell! So at least I'll have some fun right? "Hmm you heard that didn't you ... Well, no point of holding back I guess. You see, they did were someone else! I just love wearing hot guys! Hot and cute guys like you! Just like this one!!"

He undid his sneaker and hold it up proudly. You felt the warmth coming from his sneaker and you start to smell the humid air as it slowly fills up the room. You wanted to run. This has been enough... You'll sleep at the bus station or whatever. But instead of moving away your body didn't respond. He slowly moves his sneaker closer to you. As more and more damp air enters your lungs you feel your pants tenting a bit. What!?!? You liked this?!?

"you'll be such a great pair! i just know you will boy! And secretly you know that too! Look at your crotch boy, that tent and wet spot don't lie". He pushed his sneaker to your face and you feel your mind going silent. You know you should stop breathing in this deeply but you just can't help it, it smells so strong, it stinks so bad. It's so good..... You sniff deeper and deeper, sealing your fate

TF captions made by a friend ☺️

[minhosimthings]

Backstage Notoriety

Synopsis: Chan trying to shush you, as you try not to alert the rest of the boys about what you're doing backstage

Pairings: Bang Chan × Soloist!fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, fingering, overstimulation, Degradation (like only a little), praise, gagging kink, necklace is used as a gag, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), pregnancy joke, angry sex, rough sex

A/N: ITS YO GIRL MONA BACK WITH ANOTHER SMUT YALL WOOOHOOOOO I really like this for some reason I had fun writing it. Also Chan has got me in a chokehold rn I NEED THIS MAN TO BREED ME. And yes this is me procrastinating on my ongoing wip.

Dating a fellow idol was something you never thought you'd do in your entire life but here you were. Staring at your boyfriend dancing with the rest of his kids members and watching all his Stays with bedroom eyes. To say you were jealous was an understatement. A very great understatement, that is.

Being a soloist was a lonely job, with the one exception being that you didn't need to follow a packed schedule like other groups did. You could just sit back after your stage, and stare at everyone's outfits backstage, as you wait for your boyfriend to take you home and fuck you into oblivion. Yet as you watched your boyfriend show off his waist in a crop top your favourite colour, you couldn't help but want him to notice you. Stupid horny teenager coded feelings right?

"Haneul how much time till they finish?" You asked your manager who was packing up your things. She looked over at you and smiled. "Just another minute or so Y/N be patient you'll see him soon enough." She bent down and kissed your head "I'm going home alright? Tell Minho where I went or he'll go crazy. You'll come with Chan or should I tell a car to wait?" You shook your head at her. "I'll come with him don't worry. You should worry about Minho though he's gonna go mental when he finds out you left without him." Haneul let out a laugh and patted your shoulder before quickly walking out the door, leaving you all alone.

The sound of thunderous applause startled you, as you saw your boyfriend quickly walking down the stage, seven kids following him like penguins. The first one to enter the room was your boyfriend, suprisingly not covered in sweat and fashioning a towel round his neck. His face was not without happiness as he caught his eye on you and strode over, making adorable grabby hands.

"Baby!" he hugged you tightly, as you did everything in your power to stay mad at him, "Next time I'll make sure they arrange our shows right after one another. I can't stand not being with you for so long." "hmm" you hummed in response, not reciprocating the hug as you usually did. The rest of the members had entered the room by then and you spotted Minho frantically searching for his phone. "Haneul went home Minho." you cried at him, successfully catching his attention as he looked at you with widened eyes, "Don't worry, she's probably waiting for you."

"Oh alright." Minho said, plopping down onto the sofa, "Thanks for the message." You smiled gently at him, and turned to pick up your phone, when warm arms wrapped around your waist, making you freeze in your spot. The offer to sink into Chan's embrace was a tempting one, one that would effectively ruin your plan. "Did I do something wrong baby?" you heard Chan's voice whisper in your ear, tone akin to one he'd use for a child. You were being childish after all.

"Just tired Chan. I need to get home alright?", you briefly responded, wiggling away from his embrace. "I'll drop you off to the car." Chan responded, wrapping an arm around your waist so tightly that you couldn't protest, "I left something in my dressing room anyway so we can just get that on the way hm?" His tone worried you slightly. It was unlike the lovey-dovey one he usually used with you. Lovey? yes. Dovey? Definitely not.

The silence between you and Chan was too loud as both of you walked to Chan's dressing room, which was relatively near the exit point. His stare remained in front of him, not even a glance at you. You, on the other head, were trapped in his hold on your waist. It was tight. Too tight. The Pain kink comes in handy though right?.

"You really thought ignoring me would do anything baby?" Chan suddenly spoke up, when you reached the door to his dressing room. You shuddered as he pushed you against the door, one hand on the doorknob, the other holding your chin to him. "Chan-" "Nuh uh baby." He glared, "You're gonna pay for this."

Chan bombarded your lips with his and kissed you with every inch of pain in him. You would have melted into the kiss had it not been for Chan opening the doorknob and pushing you in.

"Wearing this cute little outfit and ignoring me." Chan mumbled in between the messy kiss, "Stupid little girl aren't you?" You gasped for air as Chan slid his fingers down your panties. You decided to give your stylist a bag of chocolates the next day, for giving you such an accessible dress.

"Ah Chan!" You shout out as Chan moves his fingers around your pussy, touching you exactly at all the spots he knew you adored. Chan slowly pulled off your underwear and threw it on the floor before pulling you into another kiss, fingers still racing across your cunt. His other hand reached up almost automatically to your hair, gripping it hard. You moaned into the kiss at his touch on your scalp as your hands quickly undid his trousers.

He’s rough. Good god, he’s fucking rough. His cock stretches you open deliciously, slamming into the deepest parts of you. The slick sounds of your dripping arousal fill the room with every violent thrust. You were sure your already short dress was about to get shorter as Chan kept such a firm grip on them, feeling the fabric twisting in between his fingers. With Chan continuing to fuck you, It’s almost impossible to keep yourself quiet at a time like this.

“J-Jesus,” you gasp, “holy fuck, Channie, y-you, fuck, you feel so fucking hot.” Your voice wavers in pitch and volume. Chan maintains a brutal pace, which you could swear he does on purpose. He lets out a gruff chuckle.

"It's Channie now is it baby?" He mocks you, "Fucking you so good you can't even speak can you?"

You let out a loud yelp when you feel his hand give your ass a hard slap. You jerk forward, shuddering on his cock. You can feel his towering frame lean over you, pulling you up by the shoulders, gathering you to his chest. He puts his fingers in your mouth, silencing your cries of lust.

You suck on his fingers, moans bubbling in your throat as Chan pistons his hips. It’s almost embarrassing how much you like the feeling of Chan using you like his personal doll.

“Babe,” Chan slows down. “As much as I love hearing what I do to you…” he gently maneuvers you, flipping you to look into your eyes. His hand tucks a piece of hair the fell onto your face behind your ear. His hand cups your cheek, the sweetness of his actions causes your mind to run wild with what kind of degenerate, devious plans he has in store for you. He reaches over to his neck and slowly unclasped the metal chain decorating it ever so wonderfully. "You're way too loud darling.”

"Open your mouth for me darling." He cooes at you as he shoves the necklace into your mouth. You wince in pain as the cold metal hits your tongue. Chan stares at you with an amused look on his face. "That's my good girl." He praises, giving a sudden thrust, which makes you widen your eyes.

You make a muffled cry for more, your soft and loud moans were music to his ears. He breathed heavily along with you as held onto your hips tightly. Skin smacking echoed in the room and you heard his soft groan which sent you coming. He groans louder as you clench around him.

Thankfully, Chan didn’t argue or get you to beg for his cock any more as he jolted his hips into you. “Always so loud aren't you darling?”, he scolded light-heartedly under his breath.

“Cha- Channie no more,” you plead with the necklace muffling your tone, tossing your head back onto the wall, hips bucking up into his despite your words. Chan growls, pushing you down by your stomach and blanketing your body with his own and pressing your knees almost up to your tits.

“You can take it, my dove, I promise,” the words come out choked, hoarse, but you wither under them nonetheless. The necklace had been laying down on the floor, having been detached from your mouth a long time ago. You can feel his cock pulsing deep inside your walls, seed almost spilling out from your entrance from his last two orgasms. You’re sure he’s overstimulated beyond belief, just like you, but he just can’t seem to stop.

“Wait, don’t cum yet; I’m so close, don’t cum”, you begged , not entirely wanting it to end just yet. Chan gasped, his mouth opening wide as his eyes did the opposite as they clenched shut as he concentrated on fucking you and not having another orgasm.

It doesn’t take long to feel the first flutterings of that eye-wateringly beautiful sensation between your legs as you quickly stammer, “I’m cumming! Fuck!”. Chan’s legs nearly gave out underneath him, hearing your sweet words.

As your pussy contracted in wet bursts around him, Chan released every drop of cum inside of his body, deep into your walls so that you could feel yourself becoming full and it beginning to drip out as it became too much. His thrusts slowed to a stop as you both slumped against the wall, bodies covered in a thin line of sweat.

"You alright honey?" He mumbled into your neck as he holds you tightly in his arms. "I'm good." You simply respond, cradling in Chan's warm muscles. Chan quickly deposits your weak figure on the divan before rushing off to find a towel and a change of clothes.

"I'm sorry Channie." You mumble, feeling your face turn red as Chan puts your shoes back on. He looks up at you with an amused expression and hums. "It's alright darling." He chuckles, "My jealous little baby." You slap his arm playfully as he gets you up slowly and walks you to the door, this time the grip on your waist being a comforting one.

"I wonder if your cum took or not." You blurt out. Chan looks at you with widened eyes before giggling. "You wouldn't really have to get used to being called mom do you? What with your seven adopted kids." "Our seven adopted kids." You correct him as he blushes and kisses you on the forehead.

"Seven kids who are probably wondering what their mom and dad have been doing backstage."

[builtbykittie]

Electrified

S.F.K x f!reader

Summary: Escaping an uncomfortable situation at a party, you frantically look for your best friend, just to find he was also searching for you.

Warnings: 18+ per usual, alcohol consumption, SMUT, semi public sex, unprotected sex (y'all know better), this is literally just porn... nothing too crazy.

Words: nearly 4.5k

A/N: Ugh another Sam friends to lovers? Yes. This is a Taylor Swift inspired fic🥰. Every time I hear this song, I think of Sammy (despite the fact he hates pop music) So I finally wrote about it, enjoy! (Disclaimer I literally didn't edit this much at all & I'm so sorry)

.

"Who are you trying to impress," Sam's eyes trace the shape of your body before looking back to the road. "Nobody," you fix the length of your dress in the passenger seat. "Why? You worried someone might try to take me home?" you smirk.

"Pfft, no," he rolls his eyes, thumbs drumming to the beat of the rock song piercing through your ears. "Then why do you care," you bicker with him as if you're siblings, trying to get each other as annoyed and worked up as possible.

The truth is, you couldn't care less if anyone else saw you. You only wanted Sam to see you, for some stupid reason. Sam is your best friend, and has been for years, so why would you even try to impress him? For the same reason everybody else tries to impress their person of choice, of course.

"Oh thank god. I'm saved!" Sam snickers as he pulls into his brother's crowded driveway. You giggle and roll your eyes "Sam you know I don't like parties, you're gonna have to deal with me eventually tonight."

"Yeah, well, I'm saved for now," he playfully grabs your knee and gives it a shake before pulling his seatbelt away from his body. "Oh shut up, you know you would gladly argue with me for hours," you unbuckle your own seatbelt, pushing the door open with your heel.

Sam helps you down from the passenger's seat, his large hand hovering over the small of your back, then gently grabbing your waist as you slip out of the seat until your heels touch the ground. "You got me," he grins. It's simple touches like these that keep you on your toes, a wave of electricity flowing through your body every. single. time.

You look around at the countless cars lined up in front of Josh's house, starting to grow anxious. "I'll be in there the whole time. If anything happens, just find me," Sam pats your back and gestures for you to follow him into his brother's house.

All you really want is to stay in and watch movies, but Sam wouldn't dare to miss his big brother's party, and you don't blame him.

Sam parts ways with you within just minutes of being in the house, instantly going to mingle with any person who catches his attention. You grow a little jealous, not just of the other people getting his attention but also of his social skills. You wish you could make conversation with people as effortlessly as he could, but instead, you hunt for any person you're relatively close with.

"Y/N!" You hear your name being called by a voice you could recognize from miles away. "Jake?" You locate him in just seconds, walking over and pulling him into a side hug. "You here with Sam?" Jake looks around for any sight of his younger brother.

"Yeah. He left me as soon as we got through the door," you smile, swinging your arm through the air as if to swat away a pesky fly. "Yeah.. Sam's an asshole," he laughs, but he can't seem to mask the look of concern playing on his features.

The unbearable sounds of Sam shouting with others only seem to make you more upset. You should be happy that your best friend can have fun and be himself, but it all just gets caught up in a fit of jealousy. "You don't need to worry about me. Do you know where Josh is?" You look around, having not seen Josh once at his own party.

"Hm, downstairs maybe. You know how Josh is, he's just trying to converse with everyone," you nod your head, giggling as you picture his adorable self going around to every single person here and making them feel welcome.

"Well, I'm gonna go look for him. I'll see you later," you wave, squeezing through and dodging everyone till you reach the stairs. There he is, his slim figure facing away from you as he talks to someone at the bottom of the stairs. You wait there only for a few seconds until Josh discovers you himself, swiftly making his way up the stairs "Y/N! When did you get here? Where's Sam?"

"There he is! We didn't show up too long ago. And Sam's gotta be around here somewhere." Josh pulls you into an embrace, stepping back and complimenting your dress. "Thanks, Sam didn't like it," you giggle "I gotta say, you always have the best parties. You truly are a man of many talents."

You and Josh are rudely interrupted by a woman's voice shouting your name, followed by a cold hand wrapping around your arm. Your brows furrow, giving Josh a puzzled look before turning around to meet eyes with a girl you knew, but not well enough.

She's obviously wasted, her eyes bloodshot, her skin a deep shade of crimson, not to mention the fact you can hardly understand her "I haven't seen you in forever!" You avoid any physical contact, lest she spills her drink on your brand new dress you'd spent all afternoon staring at yourself in. "Hey, Jen. Been a while, huh?" There's no doubt in your mind that this conversation would be 100% less painful if you had something in your system, but you were completely sober.

"Let me get you a drink," she pats your shoulder and gestures toward the counter that is littered with countless alcohol bottles, empty and full. It's as if she read your mind. You let out a sigh of relief, turning back to Josh but he's not there, and now you're surrounded by people you'd rather not be around.

Normally you wouldn't take a drink made by someone else, but these are Josh's friends, and Jen was 100% a girls girl. "Thank you," you take the drink from her hand, awkwardly sipping off the red solo cup filled with what tastes like a mix of vodka and cherry juice.

"We're playing games in the living room, you should come join," Jen grabs you, pulling you in the direction of the living room before you can even say anything.

"Oh no, I'm so bad at games, I'll just embarrass myself," you whine, but letting her drag you into the room of people nonetheless. "Not skill games, silly!" She points at everyone sitting in a circle, familiar faces looking up and insisting you to sit. It all feels so childish, like a bunch of high schoolers that got ahold of their parent's alcohol, playing games to get a rise out of each other.

You find Jake in the circle as well, a defeated smile on his face as he shrugs in your direction. "Fine," everyone cheers, scooting over to make room for you and the dark-haired girl next to you. Jake is sitting straight across from you, his sweet brown eyes calming you down and silently telling you to relax, to have fun.

You're not sure when, but at some point, the questions being asked have taken a sharp turn from being embarrassing yet harmless, to being strictly about the sex lives of everyone in the circle.

All color drains from your face as the bottle slows down, pointing straight at you. You already know the question is gonna be about you and Sam, it always is.

"Have you hooked up with Sammy yet? What's he like in bed?"

"I haven't... which is a surprise considering he'll take any girl home," you fail to hide the venom and jealousy that has laced your voice, everyone giggling and "ooh" ing like little children. "Just spin the damn bottle. I don't wanna hear about Sam's sex life anymore," Jake saves you from any more invasive questions, sending a wink in your direction.

You sit miserably through a couple more rounds and a few more drinks, the constant discussion of sex reminding you that you haven't gotten off in a while. You've been so busy for the past few days, you'd completely forgotten how long you've gone without a good orgasm.

Wetness in your panties becomes evident to you as you adjust your position. For every minute you sit there, the anticipation grows, your heart pounding and your hands trembling as you absent-mindedly search for Sam every other second. Your mind sifts through every possible affair, unsure of how to fix your problem. Do you relieve yourself in Josh's bathroom? Look for someone to go home with?

Finally, you stand up, your legs beginning to carry you away from the circle before your brain can even make a decision. "Excuse me," you ignore everyone's stares and questions, moving through the house as if you're on autopilot mode.

You still don't know where you're going, but when you find yourself subconsciously searching for Sam's face, it becomes apparent what you truly want. Now you're frantic, plowing through people and shamelessly calling his name. You're in a daze as you search every corner of Josh's house, not paying any care to how beside yourself you may look or how desperate you may sound to lingering guests.

Turning the corner to yet another crowded room, you run into someone's chest, exhilaration coursing through your veins and what's left of your inhibitions melting away as you realize it's Sam.

"Sam! I was looking everywhere for you!" you basically throw yourself onto him, smoothing your palms over his chest. "I was looking for you," his tone is sexy, hypnotizing sultry brown eyes stare into yours. You don't know if it's just the drinks, but there's a specific energy radiating off of Sam's warm body. If you stand there for long enough, breathing him in, you're sure that it will get you high.

An overwhelming feeling takes complete control over you, lifting yourself slightly to whisper in his ear "I need you, Sam." You shock yourself, unsure where your sudden bluntness came from.

You watch Sam's eyes widen and feel his chest rise and fall underneath your hands, his body growing unbelievably hot.

Sam's breath significantly picks up as you cup his face, rubbing your thumb across the warm surface. You back him into a dark part of the room, starting to press kisses against his neck.

He looks around in a panic, but luckily no one is looking "Y/N, we're leaving. Now." His lanky fingers wrap around your wrist, and he begins to pull you through the house, nearly running.

You both are far too turned on to say goodbye to anyone or pay attention to comments people make as you pass by. But to your misfortune, Josh stops you.

"Hey! Are you two leaving already?" Josh quirks an eyebrow as he notices something on Sam's neck, a smirk playing on his lips after connecting the dots. "Uh, yeah," Sam searches for an excuse "You know how she is with parties." Sam lifts your arm as you awkwardly smile beside him.

"Okay, well, it was really nice to see you. Enjoy yourselves," Josh doesn't pull you in for a hug like he normally would, instead just sending you on your way. His smug tone and grin would normally send you into a panic, but right now you couldn't care less about anything other than Sam.

You hope to make a beeline straight out the door, but you're stopped by yet another Kiszka brother and Daniel by his side.

"There you are. Leaving?" Jake's eyes flick down to the same spot Josh noticed, now you're curious. Sam nods "She's not feeling great and I'm her ride." Jake snickers and taps Danny with his elbow, a crooked smile growing on his face "I'm sure you are."

"Oh fuck off. Are you gonna let us leave?" Sam doesn't even try to act calm, the more you stand the more the anticipation builds. "You can't stay just a little longer?" Danny smirks, Jake bringing his hands up to rest on his hips.

"No," now you're incredibly impatient and unable to stand still as your arousal soaks your panties "I really don't feel good." "Awh... Well.. you heard the girl," Jake laughs through his words, sending a jab to Danny's side with his elbow. Danny slings his arm over Jake's shoulder as they begin to take steps backward "see ya!"

"Fuck. Finally," Sam breathes, and you look over to him, your lipstick painted all over his neck. "Sam," you whisper, but he's too distracted to hear it, or anything anyone is saying. Suddenly, the room erupts with hollers as Sam shoves you through the door.

"Sam, they all know," you whine, reaching a hand up to massage his scalp as he pulls you into his side. "Good," he pulls his keys from his pocket, unlocking the car and practically running to it. Sam walks around to the driver's side, and that's when you realize you can't wait any longer.

"Sam," you drop your head, fully aware of how desperate you've become. "What baby?" He opens the door, a smug grin pulling on his cheeks. "Sam I- I can't... I need you."

"I thought you'd say that," he snickers, slamming the door shut and pulling the door to the back seat open. You waste no time sending the door flying open and crawling in, locking the door behind you.

Your lips instantly find his, your teeth clashing into each other's as you smash your lips together. "What were you thinking?" Sam sucks in a breath as he backs you toward the door and hovers over you. Before you can respond he starts again "I mean seriously. Wearing this tiny fucking dress. Kissing me in front of those people. Getting me all worked up."

A whiney moan escapes your mouth as he lifts the hem of your dress, his cold fingertips grazing the skin of your upper thigh. "I knew you'd like it," you confess in a moan, lifting your hands and tangling them in his hair, pulling him into you.

Suddenly, he violently pulls the silk black fabric above your head. Your words obviously sparked a fire in him, a vicious one nobody could put out. Sam's fingers rake over your thighs then up to your unclothed breasts, groaning at the sight "You knew full well what you were doing dressed like this."

Sam takes your nipple in his mouth before releasing it with a pop and sucking a bruise to the swell of your breast. "So what if I did, Sammy?" You moan, arching your back into him. You reach down and cup his bulge, palming him as a devilish grin grows on your face.

"Then I'll just have to fuck you until you can't see straight." With that, he begins to trail kisses down your breasts to your navel, his finger drawing lines across your skin so close to where you desperately need his touch.

"Sam, please," you whine, back arching up into his touch as he kisses along the band of your panties. Your pleads are met with a sick laughter against your tummy "you're so needy, you know that?"

You couldn't roll your eyes back further in your head, trying your very hardest to not reach down and pull your panties off yourself. "You can't act like you don't need it just as bad, Sam. I know how bad you want to fuck me," you moan, knowing it'd set off something in him.

You were right, because without warning he swiftly pulls the tiny piece of lace fabric down your legs, leaving you completely naked. "Jesus, you're eager, huh?" Sam hums and brings his lips to your tummy, sucking the skin into his mouth before lapping at the raw skin with his tongue.

"You just can't admit it huh Sammy? You can't admit that I'm right?" You try to get him as worked up as you possibly can, your body rolling into his touch. "Wow. You're right, Y/N. I'm just dying to feel you," he rolls his eyes dramatically, but he's far from lying.

Slowly and painfully, Sam makes a line of kisses down from your navel to the very top of your heat. "Please.." is all you can muster up and your eyes clamp shut in anticipation, just waiting for him to do something, anything.

"Now you're being nice? What happened to the bratty girl who was here just a second ago?" Your breath hitches in your throat as you feel his hot breath against your core. "Sam, stop. Plea-" you're unable to finish your sentence when he suddenly points his tongue, dragging it through your arousal drenched folds.

You suck in a choked gasp, involuntarily pushing yourself against Sam's face, earning a hum against your heat. The vibration sends a shock through your body, your hands mindlessly flying to his hair "oh Sam..."

His tongue quickly warmed up to you, it was as if he already knew your body. Without warning, Sam shoves a finger in you, hitting a sweet spot as he does so. "Sam.. I can- I'm almost-" you're interrupted by your own moan as he pushes another finger in, instantly curling up.

Sam lifts his head to look you in the eye, stopping his movement causing you to whine at the loss of contact "can you do one more?" You're a bit taken back by the question "I- I don't know... Nobody's ever..."

"I know you can," he presses a peck to your clit and slowly slides in a third, stretching you out in a way you've never experienced before. "Oh- oh my god.. Sam,"

"Good girl... You're so tight around my fingers, baby. Are you close?" All you can muster up is a weak nod and a hum, pushing yourself down onto his fingers further. You find yourself holding your breath, a moan ripping through your chest as he presses the flat of his tongue against your clit.

You take the opportunity to grind against his tongue, your hips beginning to shake and your thighs burn when you feel your orgasm approach. Your movements significantly quicken, relentlessly grinding and pushing yourself against Sam's tongue as he viciously rams his fingers into you.

Within a matter of seconds, the burning pleasure flows through your entire body, your eyes shut so tightly you might need to pry them open as you mutter his name over and over.

"Fuck, Y/N," Sam breathlessly snickers, slowly pulling his fingers from you and rubbing the slick all around your core. He returns to hover over you, bringing his face down to your ear "you know... A couple girls tried to take me home.. but I was looking for you, Y/N."

Your eyes widen in confusion and you nod your head, silently telling him to continue. "I couldn't stop thinking about you.. that dress.. your body. I needed you. Only you," he takes the shell of your ear in between his teeth, gently biting down.

The confession sends a shiver down your spine and your mouth falls open once he finds a sensitive spot behind your ear. You reach up and push his head against your neck, you can basically hear your heartbeat in your ears as he continues to nip at and place open mouth kisses to your neck.

"I thought you didn't like the dress," you smirk, your other arm reaches down, desperately trying to find what you need so bad. "So greedy... you're not satisfied with just these?" Sam teases, dragging his fingers through your heat.

"Sam, stop," you moan, your body jolting at the touch. Another wicked snicker leaves his lips as he presses his clothed bulge to your core "that attitude isn't gonna get you anywhere, doll. Ask nicely."

As much as you hate it, you're ready to accept defeat. "Please, Sam. I need you. Please... give it to me," you whine, grinding up against his bulge. An animalistic groan bubbles up from from his chest as he props himself up with one hand, the other fumbling with his button.

"Need help with that?" You giggle, watching as he fails to swiftly undo his jeans. You don't let him respond, his head dips down to rest in the crook of your neck as you reach to finish the task yourself.

Within just seconds you get his button undone and his zipper down, pushing them to his knees and instantly cupping his erection. Suddenly, you start to process just exactly what is happening.

He lifts his head and you look into his gorgeous brown eyes, yours widening as you take in every feature of his face lit by the moonlight. "What is it baby? You nervous?" He smiles at you, his hands running down your body, squeezing painfully at your thighs.

"Well I'd be lying if I said I wasn't, Sammy," you confess, and his face softens, the devious smile that played on his lips visually turning into a fond grin.

"Oh, Y/N. There's no need to be nervous, I promise," he brings his head back down to softly kiss your lips, but you had something else in mind. You take the opportunity to palm him through his boxers, eliciting a desperate groan from him. You can tell he's been holding back, and it's painful.

You bite his lip as he pulls back, every ounce of doubt or anxiety draining from your body. "Tell me, pretty," he pushes his boxers past his hips, his unbelievably hard cock springing free. "You knew I'd like that dress?"

If you're being honest, you completely forgot you had even said that, but it's obvious he'd been working himself into a frenzy over it. "Sammy.. I wore it for you," you drag your fingers over his body, his breath hitching in his throat as you draw a line down his length with your fingertip.

"I wore it because I thought.. I don't know.. it'd turn you on..." You trail off, looking away from him and suddenly hyper-aware of your naked body. "Well it worked, didn't it?" He giggles, grabbing your face and forcing you to look at him "does this mean you've wanted to fuck me before tonight?"

"Well... I mean yeah," you reach down, grasping the base of his cock "are we just gonna lay here and have a conversation or do you want to fuck me, Sam?" A shocked look plays on his face which quickly morphs into a sinister smile "you're feisty."

You grasp the back of his neck, bringing him close to you and sucking on the skin behind his ear as you slowly stroke his cock. "God- damnit Y/N," Sam groans as he involuntarily fucks himself into your hand.

Just as he juts his hips to fuck himself into your hand, you move it, and push him down to be lined up with your dripping entrance. "Fuck me until I can't see straight, Sam," you whisper lowly into his ear, granting him permission to enter you.

"Oh fuck," he groans, your own noises mirroring his as he stretches you out so slow that the sting could become almost too much for you. You arm instinctively flies over his back, pushing him down closer to you "oh my god."

Within just a matter of seconds he begins to roll his hips, snapping them into the meat of your thigh and hitting a sweet spot just right. The moan that tumbles past your lips could disturb the entire first floor of the party still very alive and just feet away from you and Sam.

"Yeah you like that?" He punctuates his words with another sharp thrust, followed by a slow, languid thrust. "Mhm.." your eyebrows knit together, unable to form words as he keeps up this intoxicating pattern.

Your mind grows foggy, your only thoughts consisting strictly of Sam. "M- more," you whine and reach down to unbutton his shirt, desperate to feel his skin on yours.

"More? Are you sure you want that?" Sam struggles to form his own sentence as you clench and quiver around him. You nod your head frantically, pulling his chest down onto yours and arching your back up into him.

The slight change in position allowed Sam to go even deeper, the new leverage giving you everything you needed. "Oh Sam.. right there.. oh," you cry, clawing his back.

He feels too good

He hits an especially sensitive spot with a particularly rough thrust, a shocking wave of electricity flowing through your body. "Holy- holy shit..." you all but shriek, and you violently throw your head back, crashing into the door behind you.

"Woah- you okay?" Sam's movements never falter, keeping that same pattern. "Yes, Sam. Just keep- keep fucking me," you finally get the full sentence out after what feels like forever, and you know you're not going to last much longer.

You try to warn him, but your pathetic attempts to form words fail miserably. "Shit Y/N... you're so-" he interrupts himself with a guttural groan as his own orgasm to approaches.

Just as you requested and he promised, what was left of your vision completely fades away and you no longer fight to keep your eyes open.

Suddenly, fiery white pleasure viciously burns through your body and you're sure you've never felt anything like this before as you cry out his name over and over and over. "Shit. Shit shit shit," Sam's pleasure takes over his mind and you feel his hot release spurt inside you.

You're unsure just how much time has passed, but it's enough to bring you back down to earth. "Sam? You still with me?" You giggle, rubbing his back as you half expect him to be asleep.

"I'm here," he breathes, a wave of melancholy taking over your mind as you realize it's over. "I'm gonna pull out love, you ready?" All you can do is nod, clamping your eyes shut and preparing yourself. You bite back a whimper as he pulls from you, a mix of your juices dripping down your leg.

The last thing you'd expect is Sam going down and licking the mess up. A sharp, yet intoxicating feeling shocking your body as he licks through your folds and over you overstimulated clit.

"Think you could go another round?" You whisper, untangling his sweaty hair. His head shoots up to meet your eyes, a sinister grin playing over his features "go get in the front... We're going home."

.

.

.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

CONGRATS ON HUNDRED DOVE!! you sent me a risqué ask for 100 so now i do it back to ye-

"caught in the rain" with leona :D or ruggie, if someone got to him first! ehehehehehehhehehehe you can see stuff 😳👀 for free ✨✨✨

btw your ask is sending me so hard but i'm already typing out so much for leona so your ask is gonna be the last one for the event lol

Caught in the Rain; Leona Kingscholar

Content; Fluff, gender-neutral reader, reader needs to get bonked with a stick (/j)

Content Warning; Swearing

Word Count; 700+

AN; Don't expose my ass on my own blog, Soru /j. (just trying to feed your own simping along with the simps) But I hope you enjoy what I wrote for Leona and this prompt! As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

The sky lay heavy with dark clouds, the smell of rain thick in the air, yet not a single drop had yet to strike the ground. The air was dense with humidity, warm from the harsh sun’s rays from earlier in the day. But yet, you found yourself outside, trying to find Leona.

He had invited you to spend your summer break as his guest in the palace. Well, less so 'invited', more so demanded.

“Do you have anywhere else to be, herbivore? I thought as much. Come on, you’re staying with me.”

You still don’t really know why, but you weren’t going to throw away the chance of staying someplace beyond nice for the summer… plus Leona wasn’t so bad once you got to know him. Yes, he puts on an act of not caring, and being abrasive, but you knew that he cared, that he worried. Also, the two of you had been having this back-and-forth banter for months; blurring the lines of just friends bickering and something... more. But neither of you had made a move. It just hung in the air between you, nearly as suffocating as the humidity now; potent with the possibility of a massive storm.

Back to the present though. You were on the outskirts of the palace, looking for wherever Leona had decided to take a nap for this afternoon.

“Leona,” you called, but all you heard in return was the low rumble of thunder in the distance. Where is that overgrown house cat? I swear if I get caught in a downpour because of him… “LEONA!”

The first drops of rain began to fall, gentle and sparse. But you knew full well that in a few minutes' time they would be falling hard and fast.

“LEONA KINGSCHOLAR?!” You shouted at the top of your lungs.

You heard an annoyed huff of air off to your left, and looking up you saw none other than Leona lounging in the low-hanging branches of a tree.

“Ya don’t need to yell, ya know,” he sighed, landing softly on the ground. He looked up to the sky and frowned before setting a slow pace back to the palace. “Are you coming or what, herbivore?”

You followed after him, catching up so the both of you were going at a comfortable pace. Thunder was still rumbling, and the rain was slowly picking up, but there was no rush. Well, there wasn’t any rush until there was a flash of lightning and it seemed like the entire sky’s worth of water came down all at once on the both of you.

“Shit,” Leona hissed and guided the both of you to the relative cover of a tree to wait out the worst of the monsoon. “Just our luc-” He stopped talking when he looked at you though.

You were spitting out some stray rainwater that had managed to get into your mouth. But once the intruding water was gone you looked over to him but you felt your eyes lock on his torso; the white shirt that he was wearing was now completely see-through and you could see everything. Stop staring! Damn though- STOP STARING! But your eyes refused to move.

Leona noticed this, and he also took in your drenched appearance but was more subtle with it. “Tch,” he tapped you on the nose, breaking you of your staring stupor. “My eyes are up here,” his voice was teasing though, light.

You snapped out of it, catching his mirthful eyes. “You’re beautiful,” you whisper. You felt your face grow warm at the slip of your tongue, but it was true. Even before you openly ogled at him, you always thought that, but never said it to his face.

Leona chuffed, but he didn’t say anything; neither denying or accepting your statement. “You aren’t half bad yourself,” he said softly.

The two of you sat underneath the tree, still in your soaked clothes, watching the rain fall together in a comfortable quiet. And while the first golden rays of sunlight may have been stunning, the both of you thought it was nothing when compared to the captor of your hearts; each other.

After all, you still had the rest of the summer to build on this new development.

[lover-of-mine]

After the promo feeling a very "Eddie trapped under the fridge in the van" tonight... Ana what would happen if it's trapped Eddie again, Anna?? No, but srsly what do you think? Any spec...👀

Okay, hi, this is gonna get long, I'm sorry in advance, but hey, you asked oaksoaksoaksoaksa

No, but seriously, I'm gonna go back to what the goal of my drown Buck 2024 spec was to explain my thought process right now.

I said that initial spec came from the voices in my head, but I did have a somewhat logical thought process. Here's the thing, buddie needs to talk about almost dying, and (shameless self-promo incoming) while writing the trauma fic, I was trying to find what could be a canon trigger because I wanted to get as close to canon with that conversation as possible, so much so I didn't even plan on that ending up getting together fic, it just happened (and given the reaction I got to the fic, I think I did stay close to canon), and I realized the only way to get them talking about dying is to almost kill them again. And while in that trying to stay in canon mindset while looking at traumatic events, I caught on to some patterns on the way they handle and frame the ndes as triggers that were never pulled to their full extent. Considering the similarities between the well and the lightning (set on that here for better visualization) I was convinced we needed to give Buck a shooting moment. Mostly because buddie are connected through death. The big changes in their relationship are triggered by ndes. The truck, the tsunami, the well, the shooting, the lightning.

And well, the shooting is as intense as it is because of a few factors: it happens by chance, the thing they were supposed to be doing was already done but they weren't supposed to be there to begin with, it brings up a previous trauma for both Buck and Eddie, Buck is forced to do the saving alone. It's why the second collapse on the bridge made so much sense for so many of us. Because the show could draw us into a false sense of security and pull the rug the same way the shooting comes out of nowhere. They were at a bridge so adding water elements would be easy, and that's real for both of them since tsunami/well, betting trapped in/under a vehicle, doing the saving alone because everyone else is out of commission somehow. I also added the idea of equipment malfunctioning, because I kept going back to that (I don't fully know why I'm so hung up on that, it just makes sense in my head), and you could have all that happening at the bridge while Buck tried to get Eddie out.

But transferring all this to what we know about the 808 call. The cool thing about Buck and Eddie is that they are really mirrored and most triggers for one of them would work for both. Obviously, since I was literally mirroring the shooting, I latched onto the idea of Buck doing the dying and Eddie doing the saving (also because I know Ryan would EAT a desperate cpr scene), but it works either way. So let's assume Eddie is the one in danger here just because I think Eddie nde can have more consequences (you can trigger Eddie, Buck, Eddie and Chris, and buddie all for the price of dropping Eddie off a cliff or trapping him in a flooding car lol) and he's been relatively safe for a while since the bridge was a collective accident and Buck got him out with no effort. Oliver mentioned rock climbing and Tim said something about one character hanging off a cliff and I'm thinking maybe this is literal. So something collapses. We have very obvious water elements with the hydrants and the amount of cars makes the trapped under/in a vehicle easy too, something going to hell by chance, the street collapsing or the equipment failing and trapping Eddie inside the car we saw him in could do that, and since we have Buck and Eddie paired, Buck being the closest makes it so that he would have to do the saving. But the thing is, 809 is already done. So legit, if this is happening, this is where the episode ends and we get our first real cliffhanger.

I sorta want Buck to be the one who ends up trapped in the flooding car because I want the bragging rights, but I think rn, Eddie would have more consequences, but if we are talking pattern Buck is the one who usually dies with an audience, so I'm seriously going back and forth, it's all gonna depend on what they want to trigger here. Because the ndes are the beginning of the change, leading to some big consequences later on, and since Chris is not back yet, I can see them forcing a possible parallel oh moment in the way the shooting is supposed to be and then Eddie going to get Chris because Buck needs to get to a point where he's ready for Eddie and Eddie is never gonna truly find joy without Chris and then something on 8b triggers the getting together. Shit can go to hell for either or both of them. The thing that scares me is the way that 809 is already done, so they needed them still in the state they are now, so there will be little to no initial jump on 8b so I keep thinking cliffhanger.

But I'm also trapped into the idea of Eddie saying he's going to go get Chris, the call happening with no real issue and something happening to Eddie as he drives to the airport and the "Nobody’s hanging off a cliff at the end of the episode except for possibly one character." is actually Eddie while the rest of the team is unaware. (Or maybe buddie gets into a car crash while going together and then yall can call me Cassandra)

[shigarakisdumbwhore]

Little Things in a Relationship with Dabi

A/N: for this headcannon, i'm gonna try to leave as much wiggle room for creativity as i can. meaning, if you have an OC with a very specific quirk and backstory, I'll leave it to you to fill it in as you read! i know a lot of fanfics sour that when they give the reader or y/n their own story or quirk so I'll be vague. this is also gonna be gender neutral for all to enjoy! Does contain manga spoilers though!!!

Warnings: jealously, slight possessiveness, violence? as much as MHA violence goes

Dabi is unlike any man you have ever met in your life. From his background to his personality. He's a bit snarky and cold, but once he clinged onto you, he turned into a different man.

You met him when he was trying to recruit people for the League's sake. Despite being the one who introduced you, he wasn't too fond of you. He kept his distance, wouldn't talk to you, huffed and puffed in your presence, and was just relatively a nuisance to you.

Something changed, you weren't sure what clicked but it did. He talked to you. And he wasn't mean, he wasn't cold, he wasn't snarky, or sarcastic. He was normal. From there it spiraled on into what you two now considered a relationship.

Dabi wasn't one for grand romantic gestures. He never asked you to be his significant other but the bond shared between you two couldn't be described as anything BUT a romantic relationship.

This included small things. Very small things that meant a lot to you. He didn't show it, but you could feel his appreciation through the unspoken bond. It was like you two were intertwined by the soul. His feelings were your feelings.

Spending quiet nights outside, looking at the stars was one. The first night it happened, you were looking to spend some alone time, but stumbled upon him. He was laying on the concrete. He didn't seem to notice you at all, so you assumed he was caught up in his own thoughts. So you were surprised when he stopped you from leaving, telling you to stay. This became a regular thing. Laying down next to him, watching the stars as you sat in silence.

It was peaceful and liberating. No thoughts, words, nothing came to mind. It was completely tranquil. Only once did Dabi speak, "This is what I imagine it feels like once it's all over." You asked him what he meant but he only responded in an ominous chuckle. That could mean many things. The end of hero society or the end of his life? Whatever it meant, it was obvious he planned to keep it from you.

He would subtly give you affection. If you were sitting on the couch, he would sit next to you and put his arms over the back. His arm would just happen to reach behind you. If anyone ever questioned it, he'd roll his eyes or deny it. But you knew, and it made you blush slightly.

Despite never establishing the relationship, Dabi would get really jealous. Like really jealous. If anyone tried to flirt or get your attention, he got annoyed and was very vocal about it. This caused some teasing from the others that he usually brushed off with a, "Whatever," as he walked off.

Dabi is also protective of you, unlike the others. He knows they could hold their own, he knows you can too. But the thought of anything ever happening to you, the thought you ever leaving made him crumble inside. He didn't expect to open up to you, much less ever again after what happened to his family. So losing you was not ideal. They can live without me, but I can't live without them. That's what he thought about.

Once he revealed who he was to the world, he spent a lot of time alone, but you knew he probably needed some support. You gave him time but eventually he came back around, inviting you to sit in silence with him. He opened up a bit about what his childhood was like for him, how he became Dabi, and what he plans on next. Hearing everything made you feel sad for him inside. This was a new side of Dabi, this was Toya being vulnerable with you and you weren't gonna break that trust.

Dabi trusted you with everything. You knew things about him that the League didn't, that even the Todoroki family didn't know. He would sometimes ramble on about it in the middle of silence. Then say, "Whatever, it doesn't matter anyways."

He'd make up excuses to touch you whenever he could. If you were walking up a mountain, he'd gently push you up by putting his hand on your back. He'd jump in front and pull you up, holding your hand for a little longer as he tried to savor the sensation before it became "weird" to the others. If you got hurt, he'd walk over and offer to take care of you. Once Spinner ran to your aid and Dabi pushed him, jealous seeing him touch you, touching his most prized possession.

He would fantasize about a future with you, telling you all the goals he'd have. He would tell you how having a partner with the same ideals as him was nice for a change. You both shared a strong desire to bring down hero society, especially Endeavor. "Let's make a brighter future, together," he'd say with flames in his hands.

You tended to his stitches a lot. Scolding him if he went too far. He always reassured you that he's fine and he can handle it, but his body always said differently.

Nobody knew what to call the relationship, but it was clear there was mutual love. It was a relationship, even if nobody labeled it as such. But that was the most beautiful of relationships because there were no ridiculous expectations, just pure love.

If you like this then you'll also probably love Little Things in a Relationship with Shigaraki and Little Things in a Relationship with Aizawa pt1 and pt2

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Eight

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: Hey! Quick note, this part has a LOT going on, it jumps from pov 2 or 3 times, but there's details mentioned that will make more sense later on, I hope that leaves no one confused:) Also there are a few new characters coming in, some will stay, some won't, so keep that in mind! I was gonna end this part like halfway through and then post, but it felt a little unfinished, so here it is hope you enjoy:))) x

Warnings: A short scene revolving around body image, mentions of scars, drugs, sobriety and heavy drinking

Masterlist

Messages now Jamie O (glasses!) In the area, fancy meeting up for coffee?

It had been a good few days since I had last messaged either Jamie or Matty. Though the latter hadn't seemed to have caught onto the fact that I had suddenly distanced myself. Jamie, on the other hand, had and had surprisingly given me some space with it. 

Well, up until now that was.

It was a weary sigh that escaped me when I gazed down at my phone, needless chatter of gossiping mums and squealing children having faded far into the background.

I had only just managed to drop Teddy off at nursery, dipping and diving through the crowd to deliver him right to the classroom door, and was already halfway out of the playground now. It was my first day off in weeks- like proper day off. And now, I had Jamie to deal with.

Alright, maybe that was a bit harsh, but saying that, I wasn’t so much of a twat to just ignore the first message he’d sent me in a while. Especially after I'd disregarded all of the man's previous efforts. Still I couldn't quite stop myself from huffing quietly as I shot him back a message, anxiety creeping in.

Messages now Closer to Tufnell Park than the studio at the minute

Jamie’s response came only seconds later.

Messages now Jamie O (glasses!) No worries! Meet you near The Dome?

Sidestepping a few latecomers as I exited the school gate, I chewed on my bottom lip but eventually sent a text to let Jamie know that I'd be there. I only hoped that the man didn't ask too many questions about my sudden disappearance, I wasn’t too sure I could take the heat.

Early morning rush hour was in full swing by the time I’d made my way out onto the highstreet, people bustled past me to get to work without a care, or even an apology, for anyone who got in their way, zooming on ahead like a soldier in a storm. That was one of the things that had taken me some time to get used to, in truth. How different the crowds of London were to the tiny population of my hometown.

I'd just surpassed the underground station when I caught sight of a vaguely familiar head of dishevelled hair. Jamie stood a way ahead, smiling at the passersby with his hands shoved deeply into the lining of his coat's pockets. He wore a pair of dark, fitted trousers and had a smart looking scarf thrown haphazardly over his right shoulder, something to shelter him from the exaggerated cold. 

Somehow, his face seemed to brighten upon seeing me approach.

"Glad you could make it!" He said as I approached, and he clapped my upper arm in light greeting. "Thought you would have managed to beat me here though."

I made do with a small smile, before gesturing my head over towards where a quaint cafe sat up a few doors down so that we could begin walking.

"Nah, it's pretty hectic trying to escape the crowds at this time. Did you catch the tube up here then?" I conversed and saw Jamie’s brow dip for the briefest of moments before he hastily shook his head at my question.

"Oh, no. Was just leaving a meeting up in Shoreditch, you were on my route so I thought I'd ask."

I gave a low hum, unsure, but didn't comment on it when I thanked him for holding the door open for me to pass through.

"What are you in the mood for then? It's on me."

"Ah, no it's-"

I didn't even get the chance to decline the offer before Jamie was waving me off with a charming smile and a wave of his arm. "Honestly, mate. It's fine, a cup of coffee won't have me out on my arse. So what do you want?"

Blinking with a somewhat disbelieving shake of my head, I prattled off my usual order in a low murmur and told Jamie that I'd find us a table. Just wanting to be helpful, but also to get a second to think things through.

The cafe wasn't too busy. It held the expected usuals; a handful of early-rising old timers and a couple of suits headed in late. So there were a few free tables up for grabs. I picked the one by the window.

Jamie joined me a few minutes later, wearing his usual grin as he carried over a tray of goodies. I raised an eyebrow at the mountain of sweet pastries procured but the man simply shrugged.

"Looked like you'd had a long morning, figured you to be the chocolate type." He commented as he nudged a large croissant in my direction.

Just looking at the buttery roll made my stomach grumble. Teddy and I had been in a wee bit of a rush this morning to get out of the house after my alarm had failed to wake us, so I'd skipped breakfast and picked Teds up something to eat on the way into school.

Toying with the rim of the coffee's handle, I gave Jamie an appreciative smile. “Cheers.” I breathed out and carefully pulled the plate in a little closer.

After that we both simply sipped at our warm drinks for a short while, watching as the morning commuters passed by the large window. It was a calm affair and far from as awkward as I might've expected the meeting to be. In fact, it was actually the first time Jamie and I had met up since that day at the studio, and even then we hadn't had much of an opportunity to chat. 

Still, Jamie’s company felt very similar to that of Adi's- perhaps even Finn's. It allowed me to relax a little. 

It was only after I'd broken off the end of my croissant that I spoke up.

"So, is driving across London at nine in the morning just to buy me a drink your idea of a date, or do you do this with all your mates?"

Jamie blinked at me once, twice, before his eyes widened in alarm, which caused me to, quite literally, snort into my tea.

"I'm joking! Don't fret. Just wondering why the sudden change in pace."

Jamie gifted me a sheepish grin in response and took a quick swig of his coffee before he finally replied.

"You went quiet on us." He shrugged as he picked apart a blueberry muffin, separating the berries from the soft sponge, which amused me somewhat. "Gave you a couple days to breathe, but I reckon you've had long enough. You wanna tell me what's up?"

My eyes strayed back to the window as I withheld a sigh, knowing full well that this had been coming. 

“You know how it is.” I shrugged, almost petulant, and gripped at my cup a little tighter. "Just got busy. I mean, you have to deal with Matty and the band constantly. Can’t be an easy feat."

I received a laugh in turn but my attempt at a little lighthearted humour didn't derail Jamie.

"I know we haven't known each other that long, and you really do have no reason to trust me, of all people, with your problems. But I am here if you ever need anything. Can't speak for Matty, try as I might, but I wouldn't put it past him to go completely out of his way to do whatever you asked either." He chuckled to himself then, like he knew something I didn’t. "He actually hasn't been able to stop talking about you, you know. Not since we met."

I tapped at the mug and felt my tongue prod the inside of my cheek to keep from snorting at Jamie’s words. I just shook my head.

"Doubt he's even noticed I've stopped replying." I quipped lightly, trying to shrug off the sudden emotion that admission had stirred up.

"Ah, so you have been ignoring us then."

I inhaled sharply and dropped my gaze. I couldn’t outright lie to him. 

"Yeah, sorry. Just had a lot going on, you know? This is all new for me, you and Matty, you've just. I don't even know. You just turned up out of the blue and..."

"Sort of invited ourselves into your life?" Jamie filled in with a wry smile.

"No, no! That's- that's not what I meant. Honestly. It's just strange. Different from what I expected." I attempted to backtrack, but ultimately failed.

"No, I get it." Jamie assured, but didn't push the topic any further. "You're stupid, by the way, if you think Matty hasn't noticed. In all the time I've known him, the idiot’s only ever texted me when he's needed something- but the last couple days? I don't think my phone’s stopped going off."

I shovelled another piece of the chocolatey pastry into my mouth to keep myself from replying or reading too much into that.

Jamie released a breathy chuckle and shook his head, as though he could read my reaction, my thoughts. "You've been good for him so far, Mouse. No parties. No drugs. Can't say the same thing about the drink, but he's cut a lot of it out. And I'm chalking that all up to you, ‘cause I can't think of anything else that might've changed in his life to have forced his hand like this."

His words confused me, but then he paused for a moment and purposely caught my eye. 

"Whatever's happened, don't let it keep you from opening up. Not just for his sake, but for yours too. Besides, you can never have too many friends, can you?"

I wiped at my mouth before dipping my head in quiet assent. "No. I ‘spose I can do friends."

Jamie all but beamed, looking pretty proud of himself as he reached across the table for a scone. "Now, tell me all the things that I've missed."

***

Matty practically jumped out of his seat when he heard the front door rattle shut. 

He'd been on edge since the moment he had woken up, but had decided to try for once. He made breakfast (well, rather a late lunch), tried all that meditating malarky (his therapist would be, oh so, proud), and even ended up doing a loop of the block in a desperate attempt to keep his chaotic mind at bay. But nothing. Nothing. Had been able to keep him from wearing the soles of his feet into the fucking floorboards. 

"And where’ve you been?" Matty instigated as soon as Jamie strolled into his sitting room with his usual smile, shaking off the autumn chill he’d invited in with him.

"Around." Was all the twat replied as he draped his heavy overcoat on the back of one of the upholstered armchairs. He paused to eye Matty closely. "Why, what's got your knickers in a twist?"

Matty’s scowl was infamous by this point, but Jamie was one of the fair few to have gotten used to it. A right shame, that. "Nothing! Just- I texted you, wanted an update."

Jamie quirked an amused brow his way and it took all of Matty’s nervous pent up energy not to blow up at him. He could feel his own irritation building though, it tingled in the tips of his fingers and raised goosebumps across his skin. 

"That all? You know the team won't give us an answer until they’re certain that it all won't fall through."

Matty gritted his teeth together and tugged a rough hand through his dishevelled hair. "It's bollocks! It's our fucking album, why do they get a say in what happens with it?"

Jamie sighed quietly to himself as he wandered over towards the heavyset globe sat in the far corner. Matty watched on as he slid its top off and procured a pair of tumblers, pouring two fingers of murky whiskey into each of the old fashioned glasses.

"You know why, mate." 

They'd had this conversation too many times before. And yet,

Matty clenched his jaw to keep from snapping, lashing out, but his knuckles whitened around the glass when Jamie pressed it into his palm. He almost wanted to laugh.

"Thought you wanted me off the drink?" He remarked coldly but swallowed the spirit down before Jamie could give him an actual answer, or take it away. He only wished that the alcohol burned brighter, these days it barely left a bitter tang on his tongue.

Jamie didn't touch his own as he made his way on over towards the chaise lounge, but his fingertips tapped a smooth rhythm against the crystal. The house didn’t make a sound.

Matty followed, as expected, restlessly flinging his feet up onto the centre table before his agitation once again began to overwhelm him. He huffed when he dropped them back to the floor again, the heavy vibrations grounding him somewhat as he moved to rest his elbows on the knobs of his knees.

"That newest story's doing wonders for you right now though." Jamie told him gently when Matty’s quick eyes met his gaze, his hands still toying with the full glass. "They want to rebuild your image. Figure it'll help with album presales, and they're not really all that wrong, mate. Since you've been out of um-”

“You can say it.”

Jamie rolled his eyes but barrelled on, “Since you've been out of rehab. Well, the public's been enjoying seeing this new side of you. Besides, I thought you liked whatever her name was."

With a scoff, Matty forced his gaze away. "It's complete shit and you know it. PR just wants control. For me to fall in line. And the public couldn't give a single fuck about what I do! All they live for is the gossip, the drama. And that's what I do best, no? Don't worry though, J, I'm sure I'll fuck up sooner or later."

"Don't talk like that." Jamie scolded as he pushed his tumbler onto the table and moved a little closer. He looked to be fighting an internal battle, his fingers twitching on the inseam of his leg to keep himself from reaching out to comfort.

"Oh, fucking come off it, Jamie! You know it's true." Matty spat back, the rage once again building. These past few days had had him fraying. "I bet they’re already sitting there at that table just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I already know they’ll want to be the first in the know, when I finally do fuck up again. Spout about what a waste of space I am! How they should've sacked me off sooner. That it should've been me and not-"

"Don't."

Jamie’s voice cut through the room like a blaring siren, but Matty had never heard him speak so lowly. 

"Don't go there. He wouldn't want you thinking that way."

Matty locked his jaw and narrowed his scrutinising eyes at Jamie. "Don't act like you know what he'd want."

Jamie glanced away for the briefest of seconds and inhaled slowly before his gaze finally returned. Matty could see his own torment reflected in Jamie’s sad eyes. "It hurt me too. You know that."

Matty forced his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Unable to deal with the many emotions that threatened to overpower him. He swiped Jamie's drink off of the table and swallowed it down in one, then swiftly stood and strode across the room to make another.

The amber liquid warmed his chest as expected and he felt the moment it hit his empty stomach. He braced himself against the globe's golden stand, leaving his hair to fall helplessly into his face. Thankfully, it shielded his glossy eyes from Jamie’s view.

It was still so hard. Most nights it was all he could ever picture-

No. Not today, he rebuked. Not now. Not again.

It was a never ending nightmare that he just couldn't seem to wake himself up from. And how he fucking wished he could wake up.

Matty went to refill the glass again but faltered. His hand stilled, midair, fingers itching to grab at the ancient old bourbon that sat only inches away, but instead he reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his phone.

Too many notifications cluttered the screen. But not a single one from the person he wanted to talk to most. 

In a fit of dismay, he went to throw the stupid thing at the nearest wall but a hand caught his wrist before he could do any real damage.

Matty’s eyes flickered up to meet Jamie’s- he choked.

"I just-" He tried to force out but the words felt like thick bile in his throat. His lip trembled and Jamie tugged him close. Matty wondered when he'd ever allowed the man to get so close. To breach his high walls.

"I know." Jamie hushed him, allowing a steady hand to come to rest at the back of Matty’s neck. "I know, mate."

Matty wondered if he truly did.

***

Mesmerising. 

I let the word play over and over on a loop in my head as my fingertips trailed along the jagged lines of my torso. 

Seventeen I'd been- my first time with this boy from college and he had called the scars I was forced to bare mesmerising. As if they were something special, something to be proud of. I'd frozen back then, the word had, so suddenly, hindered my entire world, but he'd gone on exploring without even noticing the way my mind had started to spiral.

The scars had always been a difficult pill to swallow. They weren't mine. I hated how others could so easily claim their own. His scars. My scars. Hers. I didn't want them. They were just there. A myriad of haunted memories to which I'd been burdened with since the age of seven.

All these years later and still I couldn't recall the smooth expanse of skin that had once been there- untarnished, unharmed.

The bronze shadows, created by the setting sun which illuminated my bedroom walls in a burning shade of amber, crawled across the floorboards beneath my feet and caressed my skin. They dipped and curved, exaggerating sharp lines and hallowing shallow slopes.

I'd only meant to have a quick shower, in and out, before Finn inevitably ended up dropping Teddy back home. But I'd left the wardrobe door wide open in my haste to leave early this morning and had yet to shut it, exposing the slim mirror attached to the inside of the wooden door. A slip up.

So now my distorted body stared back at me mercilessly and I couldn't find it in myself to tear my eyes away. The meek girl stood within its four cutting lines just wasn't me. It was simply the reflection of a sheltered kid who'd been forced to grow up far too quickly. 

Her skin, hardly what you'd pale but not far off, was flushed and pink all over from the steam of the shower. Her hair, still damp and wet, clung to the majority of her forehead and dripped water droplets down the line of her throat. Her eyes, usually a deep, warm colour, were somewhat sunken, hidden behind heavy lids and long lashes. The dark circles that sat beneath them only emphasised the muted scarlet that rimmed her waterline- a lack of sleep. 

I wet my lips. They were dry, bitten from hours of relentless anxiety, but parted enough so that my front teeth could just about be seen. Her face was lined by worry. Fine wrinkles etched themselves around the corners of her eyes and mouth, then again between her furrowed brows.

The scars, faded but somehow still raw, swept up her neck and collarbone, and jumped over her right shoulder. One crept across the cut of her jaw, whilst another sliced through the bridge of her nose to meet another, smaller scar, on her cheek. Her chest, where it had been previously impaled, was now stretched and knitted. Some lines were a few shades darker than her natural complexion, maroon, and oftentimes cardinal. Others were lighter, pale and whitened. Faded.

A gruesome gash down the centre of her abdomen led to a spattering of fine hairs that lined her navel, trailing low beneath the hem of the towel she'd wrapped around her waist earlier. Her hands were now fisted at her sides though, so much so that prominent veins danced up the insides of her forearms, skirting around the few fawn freckles that painted her skin.

Mesmerising.

The sudden blare of a mobile ringing sent a sharp chill up my spine and knocked the air back into me. Shakily I inhaled, averting my eyes from the mirrored prison, then spun round on my heel to answer the call.

There was no greeting, no small talk. It was cutthroat and to the point.

"I need a drink. You coming?"

And I had never answered a question quicker.

--

It was a hard task, squinting down at my phone in an attempt to concentrate on the text I was trying to send to Finn, but the strobe lights and throng of people around me were making the task rather fucking difficult.

To be honest though, I couldn’t actually remember the last time I'd stepped foot inside a club. Or even spent an entire evening sat in the local pub. But I’d been all but desperate, and so, in the heat of the moment, I had practically jumped at the first offer I’d been given. 

I was beginning to second guess that decision now though as I pushed my way through the rowdy crowds, the assorted smell of liquor and sweat already clinging to my clothes. I hadn't really put too much thought into those, too busy trying to escape my own head. Really, I’d just thrown on an old skirt from my uni days, a top that made my tits look great but hid the scar there, and the well-worn leather jacket Finn had gifted me at the end of my first year working on the show.

I had just sent the text off, double checking with the man himself that he was still alright to have Teddy til the following morning, when a raised voice caught my attention.

Frowning, my head snapped up but that soon faded once I caught sight of the tall ginger propped up against the bar not too far away. My lips curled up into a lopsided grin on their own command and I was quick to pocket my phone, already moving towards him.

"Mighty Mouse. You actually made it!" Ronan Kelly bellowed in that familiar Irish lilt of his, welcoming me in with a hearty squeeze to the waist as we embraced. "It's a feckin' miracle!"

I gave him an impish smile and dipped my head slightly to rub at my nose, then made the effort to catch Ronan's icy gaze. "I guess it has been a while."

"A while- Babe, I ain't seen you in months!" Ronan laughed, flashing a row of white teeth and wrinkling his bright blue eyes. I felt some of my worries ease at the sight of the man's familiar face, a warm reminder of older days. "Can't believe you actually agreed to come out with us!"

I shook my head and released an airy chuckle, "You know how it is, Ro- got Teddy to worry about now."

Ronan's face, if possible, lit up even further at the mention of the small toddler. "Ah, grand! How is the wean? At school now, right?"

It was sweet of him to ask and I smiled up at him as I went to answer, but was forced further into Ronan’s space when some prat barged past me to get to the bar. Ronan caught me by the waist with a natural ease he’d always been capable of and narrowed his eyes at the guilty party from over my shoulder. 

Not wanting things to escalate, I did my best to quickly wave it off and distract. "Teddy's good!" I heard myself tell him, voice slightly raised to be heard over the pulsing music, tiptoeing almost now in his grasp. "He's with Finn at the moment."

Ronan's gaze reluctantly trailed back to me upon hearing me speak, he reluctantly smiled and nodded but had yet to drop his hands from where they were now stationed at my hips.

"I'm sure Finn is completely lovin' that."

With a light laugh, I rolled my eyes at his sarky reply and moved to press my forearm up against the edge of the bar’s countertop. "They're a proper little duo. Finn has been a saint, what with all his help and that. Don't think I'd be standing here today without him really."

"Well, let's cheers to that then, hey?" Ronan grinned, then raised a hand to gesture over towards the barman.

Within seconds two pints were being placed on the bartop, a dizzying yellow colour filled to the brim with minuscule bubbles that had my mouth watering. It had been a long while since a fresh pint of lager had wet my lips and it helped that Ronan’s presence was a comfort.

"Sláinte!" He announced brashly, already having hoisted his glass into the air between us.

"Cheers!" I laughed, clinking our glasses together before gulping down a too large swig.

"That's what I like to see!" Ronan whooped, almost proudly. He squeezed my right hip in celebration before choosing to steer us both away from the bar and over towards a wall lined with darkened booths. "Come on, Auley and everyone's waiting over here, been excited to see ya!”

I only nodded in reply, pint close to my chest as I followed after him, bobbing between an array of patrons effortlessly now. The earlier anxiety shovelled deep, deep down.

***

Withdrawal was something Matty had never thought too much about in the years before. He'd always had everything right there, on tap. A quick hit, a line just to pick him up. It always felt so easy.

But now, without the copious amount of pills, the parties, he finally realised why the fuck people were never able to stay away for too long. Because sooner or later, they always ended up crawling back.

It wasn't so much the flu-ish like sickness that had him reeling, although he really could've done without the high-fever sweats and the full body tremors. It was more that ever encompassing sorrow. The depression that never seemed to lift- but then again, depressed wasn't even the first word he would use to describe it. It was like a thick plume of murky black that fogged every exit, far beyond the gut wrenching nausea that clawed away at his insides at all hours of the day, or the constant drilling in his head that kept him from sleep.

Being without- 

Being without was practically maddening. A spiral of hellish days with no escape, the only choice he had was to carry on or simply turn back. And he'd come too far now to run towards the latter, he’d already made that mistake. And if he had anything to thank his godforsaken mother for, it was the sheer stubbornness they both so clearly shared.

Matty couldn't complain though, he wouldn’t, as much as he wished he often could though, because he was still leaning heavily on the spirits. He knew. As well as the band and Jamie, who'd also been hellbent on 'helping'. In their own way.

Although the idiots hadn't made things much easier for him, the guys hadn't put up much of a fight against his drunk ramblings or the never ending mood swings. They just took it all in stride. Which Matty was mostly grateful for.

The alcohol though, he'd currently taken to using as a crutch. He'd drink a little more and more just to cope with the effects, the longing, to get him through to the next day. But he'd never felt too dependent on it before and didn't feel as though it was a massive problem now, he'd been drinking since before he'd worked out how to pick the lock on his dad’s old liquor cabinet. He’d keep drinking ‘til he was near the grave.

The drinking though, was just a baby habit in comparison to the drugs.

It was also how he'd managed to find himself out on a Thursday night. 

He'd actually managed to forgo Hann's mothering this time, sending his mate off home early from the studio before he'd called up an old friend. Itching for that familiarity of older times, shaking with it really, but knowing better.

"Oi, Healy- you still with us?" Crowed a loud voice in his left ear.

Matty startled at it and turned back around to find the one and only Danny Willis hanging over his shoulder, usual open-mouthed grin on full display, a drink in hand.

He blinked up at him once before Matty’s lips turned upwards into a lazy smile, he spun around on his foot to get further in his friend's face. "Thought you'd gone off with that bird?"

"Who, blondie?" Danny questioned, smirking now. "Nah, wouldn't have left you hanging all alone, mate."

Matty snorted.

"Ah, so you do care!" He drained the dregs of his bourbon then grinned at the twat, "Always wondered whether you fancied me, Danny boy! Guess this just proves it, don’t it?"

Danny wound an arm around his shoulders and leant in to press a sloppy, wet kiss to his cheek. Matty pulled away, cackling as he tried to shrug the added weight off.

"Prick." Matty scoffed lightly, stumbling as he rubbed at his face. He grunted at the small group he'd accidentally bulldozed into in his haste and they all scowled in return, but it wasn't long before Danny jumped in to rescue and steer him away.

"Come on. Let's get out of here, hey? The next bar awaits and all that." Danny proclaimed, chucking back the remnants of his own drink. Matty chuckled when the man winced and then wiped the corners of his mouth. "Reckon we might be able to find someone decent for you to take home there!"

Matty merely hummed in reply as they pushed their way through a set of double doors and out into the night, not really listening as he propped himself up against Dan's side, ignoring the whispers that tended to follow wherever he went.

"Ah, look at that, would you!" Danny's voice came again, right by his ear, as he paused on the pavement to cock his chin outwards, forcing Matty to follow his gaze. "It's a full moon!"

Matty rolled his eyes.

***

"Come on, Mouse!" Auley tried for the umpteenth time that night. His larger than life smile, I noted, had always been much gentler than that of his brother's. "You can't stay cooped up in this booth all evenin'! You need to put yourself out there, darlin’- have some fun!"

I shook my head, chuckling up at the giant of a man standing before me. "I swear I'm fine here, Aul. You go and have enough fun for the both of us."

Auley's face scrunched up in distaste as he reluctantly pushed away from the table's edge, the dim lights of the bar illuminating his hair, almost seeming to set it alight as it added a halogen glow to the already coppery red.

Ronan chose that moment to reappear, brushing past his brother to settle back into the booth next to me. He set two more drinks down on the table. "Leave the poor lass alone, won’t you, Aul! You know how she gets."

I rolled my eyes, albeit fondly, and Auley did the same as he slowly backed away, mouth quirked upwards. "Yeah, yeah. Yer like a pair of old women, you two- peas in a pod or somethin'."

"Ah, shove off!" Ronan laughed, a deep rumbling sound that shook his whole body. "Think I can hear the dance floor callin' your name, mate."

"Too right." Auley quipped, flashing another bright grin at his brother before he turned back to face me. "Know that this isn't over just yet. You might've won this battle but you ain't won the war, darlin’. I'll soon get that dance."

I snorted, but was unable to help my grin. "One day, babe."

Auley winked at me and I watched on as he melted into the mob of people before us, leaving Ronan and I alone.

I observed the crowd for a long moment, taking note of all their dizzying smiles. For a Thursday night, the bar was oddly rampacked, but I couldn't find it in myself to complain too much, not when everyone seemed to be having a great time. 

There was a large group of us out tonight. Alongside asking me to join, Ronan and Auley had brought along the entirety of their flat as well as a few others, some from uni, others from work, I reckoned. They'd all split up within the first half hour though, but they kept drifting back and forth, I could easily spot Penn and his brightly coloured shirt over by the snooker table in the very far corner, and most of the girls had crowded together out on the dance floor. 

"Havin' a good night then?"

I repositioned myself upon hearing Ronan's question, he was closer now in an attempt to be heard over the music, and I sipped at the foamy top of my pint before answering. "Yeah, I am. It's, well it's been a while since I last did anything like this." I chuckled, eyes roaming the room again. 

Ronan shifted closer once more, the booth’s leather seat squeaking quietly under his weight as the song on the overhead speakers faded into the next.

"I'm glad. We haven't seen you proper since yer last year at uni."

It was true but that wasn't just down to me, I felt the need to say. But instead gave him a small smile as I just shrugged, thumbing the edge of the table, "Life gets busy with a baby. Plus, it's not as though any of you lot had time to just drop by and see me, with all your classes and what not."

Ronan’s lips pursed at my words and a quiet stretched between us. I watched on as he fiddled with the bottom of his pint glass, before finally he replied. "Could've made time. Finn did. Cassie, too. Just- it felt strange, going back after that summer and you not bein' there."

To be honest, I didn't really know what to say to that. 

As much as I had loved my time at university, I hadn't really had much space for it in my life after Teddy had come along. And although I’d never regretted my decision to leave, not after everything I'd gone through to get to where I am today. Because my God, had that been hard. I did sometimes miss the memories I’d made there, the people I’d met and, surprisingly, the workload too. It made me question whether I could have had it all, a degree and a baby. Although, I somehow doubted that that was what Ronan was grasping at here.

But it wouldn’t do well to continue to dwell on the past. I'd already spent a large portion of my life doing exactly that, and I’d known in the long run that I would have to have let go of some things in order to provide a better life for Teddy, better than the one that I’d had. I wanted my son to have every possible opportunity, every choice, in order to better himself. I wanted him to be a kid for as long as life would let him.

And as much as I really did love spending time with Ronan and the old gang, I also knew that come tomorrow morning I had actual commitments and responsibilities to attend to. I didn't have the opportunity anymore to skive and bunk off of lectures so that I could deal with a nasty hangover and sleep in. Teddy was always relying on me to come through. And come through I would. Every time.

But right now! I just needed to let my hair down. Enjoy an evening away, and maybe (hopefully) get rid of some of that tension that had been piling up over the previous weeks.

Thankfully though, I was saved from answering when a flushed Alice came hurrying over, clinking her cocktail on the table so hard it's fruity contents spilled out across the wooden surface. The overexcited girl, who was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet, didn't pay much mind to the mess as she threw herself into our booth and peered over her shoulder to search for something or other. 

I shot Ronan a bewildered look, but the ginger merely widened his eyes at me as if to say that he had no clue what was going on either. 

"Er, you alright, Al?"

Alice's head snapped back so fast that I honestly fretted a little over the whiplash she must've felt.

"No?! Do I look alright?" Alice stressed, digging her perfectly painted nails into the red cushion that lined the booth's back. "You'll never believe who Penn and I just saw walk in!"

I only hid a smile to myself whilst Ronan decided to humour Alice. "Who d’ya see, Ali-cat?"

Alice's face was nothing like I had ever seen before, her usual pretty smile had been traded in for a kilowatt grin, bunching her rosy cheeks and narrowing her soft brown eyes.

"That singer! You know- the one with the hair and the face! Ah, what's his name? From that band!"

"Matty!" Answered Indra- seemingly a friend of a friend of a friend- who had bounded up to our table in the time Alice had been freaking out, practically hyperventilating. "The. Matty Healy!"

"That's who!" Alice exclaimed and was nodding away excitedly now, whilst I simply sat frozen, drink halfway to my lips.

"Didn't you interview him?" Indra queried suddenly, her eyes as wide as saucers whilst her gaze flitted back and forth between me and the bar at an impossible pace.

Shakily, I set my glass down.

"You did?" Ronan piped up beside me. I swallowed thickly before turning my head towards him, then back towards the two girls, who were anxiously waiting on my reply.

"Uh, yeah." It felt as though I’d forced the words out of my mouth. A ball of cotton having replaced my tongue.

"Oh, Mouse! Introduce us, would you? Please!" Alice all but squealed imploringly.

My alarmed eyes flickered back to Ronan again, then Indra, and then Alice.

My mouth had never felt so dry as I tried my best to ground myself, to get over the sudden, unexpected headfuck that had sent my mind reeling.

"Ah, I don't know, Al. It's, well. I-" I really did struggle to find the right words that could possibly get me out of this entire situation, but before I even knew what was happening, Indra was already reaching for me and pulling me up out of the booth. 

Alice jumped up to join her and patted my sleeve eagerly before proceeding to try and drag me away. Ronan, thank the stars, reached out to stop them just in time, tugging on the hem of my jacket and shooting the two girls a sharp look.

"Oi, you two. Behave, will yer? You didn't even give her the chance to answer."

Alice looked up and flashed me a sheepish grin, "Sorry, hun."

Feeling sheepish and rather relieved, really, to be freed from all the clawing hands, I waved her apology off, knowing Ali was only just drunk and excited. "It's fine, just- I think I'm better off heading home now in truth. You know, I've got Teddy to think about."

Both of the girls' disappointment was overwhelmingly obvious, but they didn't push it any further, simply nodded and tried to smile as best as they could.

"No worries, Mouse. You get on home, babe. Sorry again."

"Wait, you're not actually leaving, are you?" Ronan questioned suddenly, causing me to cast a glance over at him. He was frowning now, that much was obvious from the deep set line rapidly forming between his bushy brows. "It's not 'cause of that tosser, is it?"

Immediately, I felt myself shake my head, already knowing that the lie would taste bitter in my mouth.

"Ah, come off it! Stay for another round at least." Ronan goaded me, moving to stand with the girls, his hand still on my elbow though.

"Nah, I'd best head home, Ro. I don't want to be dealing with a hangover as well as a screaming toddler tomorrow morning." I insisted with a lighthearted chuckle, I gifted him an apologetic smile whilst fishing out my phone to call a cab.

It wasn't even late yet, just gone eleven, and there was an unread text from Finn demanding that I have some fun. I gave a heavy sigh.

"Don't be like that, babe. Come on, one more drink and I'll even walk you home." Ronan raised a brow just as he jutted out his jaw and smiled.

It was tempting but...

I laughed lightly and shook my head. "Honestly, Ro-"

But the man wouldn't hear it. "Come on, ladies. Help me out here!" He implored to both of the girls standing either side of him now, the way he towered them was almost funny.

Indra giggled just as Ronan wrapped his strong arms around her and Alice, shaking them a little. Alice simply rolled her eyes at him in amusement, but pulled away slightly to squeeze my hand.

"It's up to you, M. You know we love seeing you, but I can call you a cab if you really want to head off now."

I could only smile at her and silently questioned why we didn't spend more time together outside of the group. I could easily recall Finn saying something or other about a pottery class the two of them had attended the previous weekend and wondered if that would be something I might enjoy.

"I'll be fine, babe. Thank you, though." I told her kindly, before turning to face Ronan. "You enjoy the rest of your night, alright? I'll text you when I've made it back."

"Mouse..." Ronan groaned unhappily, "Just one more drink. For me?"

I shook my head and tugged my jacket further around my body as I stepped away from the trio, patting down my pockets to make sure that I did have everything I needed. 

"I'll come out again, soon." I promised them, but tried to aim my words at the frowning redhead as I continued to back away. "You can hold me to it."

Ronan worked his jaw before he nodded curtly, and I sighed to myself before spinning on my heel to hastily make my exit. 

Only, it didn't quite happen like that of course, because, of all the people, in all the world, I just had to bump right into none other than Matty.

[hellofanidea]

curt has a crush on arthur 🎤🎤

This got away from me so badly, and it now is its own ficlet! It does get heavy during the latter part, however, so tw for alcoholism, PTSD, character death, and people being shitty to each other in the throes of those.

"Y'know Curt's got a thing for you?" Bucky grins at him one night, closer to five sheets to the wind than three, leaning into Arthur's space outside of the O Club.

There had been a few of them who wandered out initially, chasing fresh air to clear their soaked heads, but then the band had started up again and they had followed the music inside in search of dance partners. Arthur had expected Bucky to be first amongst them to go, but he had stayed when Arthur lingered under the night sky, and now he understands why.

"Not sure you're meant to say shit like that, Major," Arthur laughs, mostly out of shock at the way Bucky seems perfectly at ease with the idea. "Gonna get somebody a blue ticket home."

"Naw," Bucky scoffs, still smiling, though it's starting to look more like a leer. "Ain't runnin' to tell nobody. Just figured I'd try my hand at bein' a wingman."

He laughs at his own joke, swaying away and hiccuping drunkenly.

There's no need, Arthur wants to tell him; him and Curt have been slipping into dark corners together for a bit of stress relief for nearly two weeks now. He wonders if he pieced together Curt 'having a thing for him' from the newly charged air between them, or if Curt really had said something to him. Wonders what either of those could mean.

"You're a good friend," he tells Bucky instead, and means it. "You're also drunk as a skunk. C'mon, we should head back inside before you sober up enough to remember this in the mornin'."

Bucky makes a dismissive noise, but turns towards the door with him anyway.

"You're not gonna give me anything to take back to him? What kind of a wingman are you makin' me, Foster?" He complains.

"Well, considerin' I didn't try to punch yours or his lights out when you said somethin', a real lucky one, sir."

Several Years Later

"Y'know Curt's got a thing for you?" Bucky slurs, and Arthur feels his heart drop to his knees.

It's hot in the VA hall they've piled into for the reunion, and Bucky's been on fine form all night, to the point that some of the boys who didn't know him as Air Exec or CO or POW had been looking at him funny, and Arthur had to volunteer to take him outside for a moment. Let him cool his head in the relative privacy of the side alley. Catch his breath. Shiver off some of the burn of whiskey in his stomach.

And Arthur has been doing so well recently, but now he wants that same burn something fierce. He should go back inside, send Viv or Buck to take care of Bucky. Find Ev and get out of here before he follows Egan the way he always does eventually, and throws away three months of stone cold sobriety over the invocation of a ghost that he's never without anyway.

He doesn't go back inside. He stays next to where Bucky has his head tilted back to the sky, his eyes closed. Ignoring the tremble of his fingers, Arthur takes out a cigarette and lights it.

"Yeah, Bucky," he sighs around the filter. He doesn't have the energy to play along, or the heart to stop him.

"What, no joke about a blue ticket?" Bucky asks.

Irritation abruptly curdles in Arthur's stomach. He can't tell if Bucky's really back in Thorpe Abbotts in his mind, or if he's just trying to get a rise out of him. It reminds him, bitterly, of the Stalag. Bucky growling at him at him like a cornered animal, digging his fingers into Arthur's bruises; Arthur letting him, because at least it made him useful.

"I'm a civilian, now," he reminds Bucky. "Me 'n' Ev get caught it's jail, remember?"

The other man has the decency to look uncomfortable at the reminder, kissing his teeth unhappily. His closed eyes remain turned up to the pollution-hidden stars.

"Yeah. Forgot that." A heavy pause, and Arthur feels himself tense. Bucky's winding up for something, drawing his arm back to throw a curve ball. Definitely looking for a fight of some kind, and Arthur hasn't taken any of the bait so far, but he's come pretty close. "You 'n' Ev moved pretty fuckin' quickly. After Africa."

"Don't," Arthur snaps.

"I mean, I've heard the stories, you practically jumped him right there in the desert, right? Fucked him all the way up until you got yourself shot down. Wrote him fuckin' love letters from a Nazi prison camp, for fuck's sake." Bucky's eyes open. There's something dangerous in their piercing blue. "I bet Curt's body wasn't even cold when you jumped on his dick."

Arthur had never snapped at him in the Stalag, had taken his licks from Bucky like a good little soldier and kept on trotting after him. It had been worth it then just to feel the ache. Even more worth it for the times when Bucky wasn't at his lowest ebb and he would try to silently make it up to him.

Now, though? Arthur doesn't have that kind of patience left in him. Not even for Bucky, not when it's about Ev, about Curt, and not really about either of them at all, but about Bucky needing something he thinks he can only get by finding a sore spot and poking.

He has to know it's coming, but Bucky doesn't dodge when Arthur throws the punch. It's a good hit, or a bad one, something crunching under Arthur's fist in a way that instantly overrides the fury that had risen in him at Bucky's provocation. Bucky goes staggering, hands up at his face, and Arthur stares in horror at the aftermath of what he's done.

"Jesus, shit, Bucky, 'm sorry, 'm so sorry, are you alright?" He jabbers, frozen to the spot.

Just out of reach, Bucky sways. He's making grunts and groans as he seems to fight to stay upright. When one of his hands moves, red spills from between his fingers like wine, trickles down the backs of his hands, and drips onto his dress uniform. It's all over his tie. It'll stain, badly, and Arthur can't stop staring at it, even as Bucky straightens out and makes a throaty 'whoop' noise.

"Always knew you had a helluva swing on you, Foster," he laughs thickly.

His own blood is all over his lips, and he's still laughing, and there's too much happening at once, too many pasts layered together in Arthur's head. The smell of burning skin draws him from them, then the pain in his fist. Not just his knuckles; he had curled his hand tight around his still lit cigarette to throw the punch, and the end was now searing into his palm.

Finally, he drops it. If he lets it burn him a moment more than he needs to, that's between him and God and his ghosts.

[acealonsowrites]

TKDB Boys as Lewis Capaldi songs

Putting this out as I warm myself up to starting part two of my Subaru mini fic. Lewis Capaldi is my fav singer at the moment so I'm combining my two hyper fixations :) Some of these make complete sense (objectively) and others make complete sense TO ME (subjectively) and some I'm completely lying through my teeth and just wanted to assign a song to be done with it. I'll let y'all know which is which and my explanations for them + the lyrics that I feel best go with them. Most of these we have to pretend the boys are romantic and melancholic cause that's the only way this'll work. The easiest were Towa and Subaru, I feel like they're the embodiment of the two faces of Lewis's songs (pining for love and having imposter syndrome lol). The hardest were Tohma and Ritsu but I'll try my best to explain.

Makes sense (objectively):

Luca, Kaito, Alan, Sho, Leo, Towa, Taiga, Subaru, Haku, Ed, Rui, Lyca

Make sense (subjectively, ie: to me):

Jin, Haru, Romeo, Zenji, Yuri, Jiro

Lying through my teeth:

Tohma, Ren, Ritsu

So without further ado, here are my song assignments for the boys :)

Frostheim

Jin - How This Ends

“All the flowers would die and the tears from your eyes would come as no surprise as I tried to forget how we bled, and we bled, and we bled, and we bled. So this is where we ended up. All of those years that I wasted for love. And here it is, forevermore, the house is on fire and I can’t find the door. If I had the heart to start it again, I’d stamp out the sparks in my own self-defense. No, you ain’t gonna like how this ends.”

I only had a bit of a hard time assigning Jin's because I felt like his and Romeo's could kinda go to either or. But in the end, this one made the most sense for Jin. It makes me think about what his family life could be like and it's a good contrast with the fire themes being an obstacle for the Ice King. The start of this song also mentions being useless and full of excuses which makes me think of how he's viewed from an outsider's perspective since Tohma clearly does all the work.

Tohma - Don’t Get Me Wrong

“Pray silence, I’m begging. Too tired to tell you I ain’t coming home. Stop for a second. Guess I got caught up in leading you on. And I ain’t responsible for the lump in your throat. Haven’t you had enough of all of this? Haven’t you had enough of loneliness? Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to stay too long. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to tell you whatever you want. But haven’t you had enough of loneliness? Haven’t we had enough of second best? So don’t get me wrong.”

GODDDD it was so hard assigning Tohma a song. Mostly because I just can't gauge him? I don't think I understand him all that well but I still tried. Anyways from what little we know about his past and how he most likely was Vagastrom turned Frostheim but still having relatively good relations with Vagastrom, something tells me that he switched houses because of some hidden ambition of his. He seems to be very driven and determined, like he wouldn't let external factors come between him and his goals. Like the song suggests, he doesn't settle for second best and hopes you understand.

Luca - Pointless

“From all my airs and graces to the little things I do, everything is pointless without you. Of all the dreams I’m chasing there’s only one I’d choose. Everything is pointless without you.”

What a sweet boy. This was one of the first ones I assigned in my head, mostly because he's a perfect little gentleman. He has goals and ambitions like Tohma but in my head there's nothing he wouldn't do for a loved one. Later in the song the lyrics go "I'll wait for you, I'll wait for you. You'll wait for me, too." And idk it just feels like him? Tell me I'm wrong.

Kaito - The Ancient Art of Always Fucking Up

“The story goes now he’s the kind of fool who breaks his heart as often as the moon shows its face to you. And I regret to say politely, I’m the guy who’ll more than likely lose like I always do.”

Boyfailure at it's finest. This entire song is his, I was thisss close to typing it all out. A master of the ancient art of always fucking up, Kaito seems to be prone to self-sabotaging both with love and finances. Give this song a listen, I promise it'll make sense.

Vagastrom 

Alan - Someone I Could Die For

“You know I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dying for someone I could die for, someone I could try for. Fall apart and cry for, go ‘head risk my life for. Bullet to the brain for, take away the pain for. You know I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dying for someone I could die for.”

Can you tell I love him? Call him Bruno Mars the way he'd catch a grenade for you. Or in this case, take a bullet to the brain for you. He's got that tough-looking exterior and he doesn't really feel he deserves love or to be that close to anybody but something tells me he yearns for it. Out of all of Vagastrom he's the only one looking for that someone to be vulnerable with but he's obviously not gonna show it.

Sho - Let it Roll

“And if you want to stay lost a while, I’ll rearrange the road I take and meet you out in the wild. And if you want we can wait behind. We can find a place to hide, maybe I could change your mind.”

Look I love Sho, okay. Sho, I love you. Listen Sho, I love you. You hang out with Leo which means you have the emotional depth of a walnut. I wasn't going to give him a song that was that deep because it just didn't make sense. He just seems like someone you could take a ride with and completely forget your troubles. He's unfortunately here for a good time, not a long time.

Leo - Forget Me

“Cause I’m not ready to find out you know how to forget me. I’d rather hear how much you regret me, and pray to god that you never met me, than forget me. Oh, I hate to know I made you cry but love to know I cross your mind, babe.” 

Lol, no he doesn't hate that he made you cry. He's actually collecting your tears in a bottle. But he really would rather you keep him on your mind even if it's pure hatred than have you forget him. That's probably his number one fear: being forgotten. He wants all of your attention and he doesn't care how it comes.

Jabberwock

Haru - Someone You Loved

“I’m going under and this time I fear there’s no one to turn to. This all-or-nothing way of loving’s got me sleeping without you. Now, I need somebody to know, somebody to heal, somebody to have, just to know how it feels. It’s easy to say but it’s never the same. I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape.”

Haru was also a bit of a tossup for me. This is mostly carried by the desire to heal someone. It really feels like he just needs someone on his corner FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE. Someone PLEASE help him escape some of his responsibilities or at least take some off his shoulders.

Towa - Before You Go/Haven’t You Ever Been in Love Before

“So, before you go, was there something I could’ve said to make your heart beat better? If only I’d have known you had a storm to weather. So, before you go, was there something I could’ve said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind could make you feel so worthless.”

“And maybe I’m a fool, but I just can’t live with regret, I’d rather dive off the deep end. Will you hold me like you want me? But you don’t give me nothing else. Feel this happening, but you feel absent. Can you tell me what it is? And she said this: ‘Haven’t you ever been in love before? You heard em say, it takes the pain away, and it’s a feeling that you can’t ignore. But it’s more like a knife to me, than a high to me, and my heart can’t fall apart anymore. If you knew what I know you’d be terrified. Haven’t you ever been in love before?’”

Like I said in the intro, Towa's vibes make up half of all Lewis Capaldi songs. He's the free spirit, he's the guy that believes in soulmates. I gave him two because I couldn't decide which one fit him better. He's really looking to take away all your troubles so lean on him as much as you like. For the second part I was imagining a conversation with him under the tree going like this. He'll hear you rant about how this curse has sullied all thoughts of love for you and hearing this breaks his heart a little because he feels you deserve love.

Ren - Bruises 

“There must be something in the water, cause everyday it’s getting colder. And if only I could hold you, you’d keep my head from going under.”

This one's short because it's Ren, hello! He's so emotionally stunted, there really wasn't much to go off of. Chose something with water in it cause haha funny. Honestly though if he DID find a way to express emotion, he would probably hold the metaphor of drowning and you being his lifesaver close to his heart. I actually love him so I had to try at least a little bit for him.

Sinostra 

Taiga - A Cure for Minds Unwell

“That, if I’m being honest, I couldn’t tell you this is all I wanted. I struggle sleeping cause the house feels haunted. Filled with the shadows of regret, and the things I should’ve said to the ones I’ve laid to rest and lately, I’m terrified that all my youth is fading. Man, growing old is so excruciating. Is there a cure for minds unwell? Cause my head’s a living hell, if I’m honest with myself.”

At first, I was conflicted on finding a song for Taiga for obvious reasons but then I remembered this specific part of this song and it made me think of some theories of Taiga freshly post-clash realizing that his mental state was deteriorating and then I got sad :,) Y'all are really geniuses with these theories by the way, I love it. Keep the hurt coming for me PLEASE.

Romeo - Burning

“So maybe now instead of balancing on the edge we could put this to bed for good. Could call it quits or risk sinking with this broken ship but I don’t think we’d make it through, through. Now it’s only the beat of my heart that reminds me not to stare at the sparks. Can’t set fire to my soul just to keep ya, keep ya, keep ya from burning alone.”

Like I said, Jin and Romeo really could've gone either way. Their family situations to me feel vaguely similar but this one felt like it spoke more to Romeo. He is, as Taiga calls him, a greedy bastard. He's experienced what it's like losing everything and now he's desperately trying to hold on to what he has like his life depends on it and he's really not about to let anyone stop him. He's not really caring or empathetic to your situation however much he fakes otherwise and he's not about to risk his livelihood to save you, I'm sorry.

Ritsu - Grace

“On the verge of almost bleeding you out. Are we too wounded now to ever come down? Oh, how I long for us to find common ground. I’ve got nothing but you on my mind.”

This was the hardest one BY FAR. I kinda don't have an explanation because even though I said "let's pretend they're romantics," he's really just, not? And he's not melancholic either so have some crumbs lol.

Hotarubi

Subaru - Maybe/The Pretender

“I gave my all but not enough. And with the weight of expectations I’ll be sleeping rough. How come I’m the only one who ever seems to get in my way? Lately I’ve been fucking up a good thing any chance I can get. Somebody to lean on, somebody to hold. It’s just another to lead though, before I let go and I ain’t tryna be lonely, solely, but everything I touch turns to stone. Maybe you’re better off on my own.” 

“I spend almost all of my time feeling like I’m falling even further behind. I know I’m so good at seeming like I’m not on the edge of a knife. I feel like everything I do is a lie, and all the words just further pull the wool over eyes. I know I’m no good at being who I am away from the light. I’m the pretender, what can I tell ya? Designed to deceive, so tell me who you want me to be.”

Again, two songs because he's the second half of all Lewis songs. Did someone say imposter syndrome? He's an actor, what do you expect. The first one could have also gone to Rui but I feel it's more fitting for Subaru. He's a little too self-conscious about his stigma and he holds out on personal relationships because of it.

Haku - Love the Hell Out of You

“You’ve got your demons, spent seasons on the dark side of the moon. Don’t try denying cause you know that I’ve been there, too. Right now I know how it feels like the world’s gonna end. But I’ll get you through, if it’s the last thing I do. I’m gonna love the hell out of you. Take all the pain that you’re going through. And I’ll bring you heaven, if that’s what you need. Cause you’ve always loved the hell out of me.”

Lock me up and throw away the key, he knows how to get the best out of me ~ HAKUUUU my love. This one was a no-brainer, I mean come on. He and Rui are peak romantics. He was the first one to help you and by god, he'll be the last. I have no other words. Live, laugh, love, Haku.

Zenji - Heavenly Kind of State of Mind

“From now until the afterlife, be it rain, or hail, or shine, we could be intertwined. Whether you were heaven-sent to save me from above, or the only one who doesn’t hate me, that’s enough. When I need someone to save me from original sin, you call me like a chorus only angels could sing. Now I think about you all of the time, oh what a heavenly kind of state of mind.”

I'm sorry but this one was FUNNYYYY to me. You know, cause he's, y'know...anyways. This whole song feels like how he talks and how he would probably sing it too. Even from the start, "it's almost cruel, the blue in your eyes. The kind of blasphemy that makes a congregation cry." TELL ME THAT'S NOT SOMETHING HE'D SAY. It's almost as eccentric as he is and there really was no better option for him.

Obscuary 

Ed - Forever

“Darling, nobody said that it would last forever. That doesn’t mean we didn’t try to get there. I never said that we would die together. That doesn’t mean it was a lie, remember. Nobody said that it would last forever.” 

Hahaha pain. Can you imagine Ed living through a bunch of lovers and outliving them all? At some point he'd stop caring but he'd really have to tell you not to expect much from him. He probably avoids becoming attached to anyone anymore.

Rui - Lost on You

“Everyday I’m a slave to the heartache, and you’re wasting away every night. I don’t wanna leave you lonely, but I’ve run out of love this time. You know that I adore you, though I couldn’t give enough. Hope you’ll be safe in the arms of another, cause I can’t take the weight of your love.” 

Pain again. I warned y'all this one would hurt. Of course he'd HAVE to give you up at some point because not being able to touch you was punishment enough. You both have to move on now.

Lyca- Mercy

“For every second you’ve been talking, I’ve been trying to count the lines around your face cause I don’t know if I’ll ever be this close again. I feel like I’m just wasting time before you pull the trigger. It’s the drawing of the line, it’s my ghost you’re gonna give up. Got your made up mind, it hurts to see you’re alright, when I’m not alright. So if you’re calling it a night, oh please have, have mercy. Have mercy on me, you’re breaking my heart.”

HAHAHAHA PAIN PAIN PAIN OH IT HURTS SO GOOD. I thought of two things for this one. 1) Idk but I headcannon that whoever this Neros person is, he's either dead or he wants nothing to do with Lyca. Either way I can imagine their time together before Lyca was imprisoned and him not understanding why Neros is leaving him. 2) His time with Subaru before he actually trusted him. He fully believed Subaru was sent to kill him and he felt kind of conflicted opening up to someone who would probably be his downfall. But then he warms up to Subaru and instead of thinking "when is he gonna kill me" it's "when is he coming back" whenever the lulls between Subaru's visits become too lengthy. This one really hit too close to home :,)

Mortkranken

Yuri - Old Navy Blue

“No matter though how good things go, they’ve always got to end. I’ve said goodbye to family from the side of their sick beds. So, to all the ones I’ll always love but faded out of view: until we meet again, this one’s for you. Well it’s sad, but sometimes it’s true, that your friends become the people you knew. Once upon a time, that you left behind, old navy blue.” 

Okay hear me out. So before the Mortkranken episode, I really did not like Yuri. After it though? AND after Episode 8?? Bro really is overworked and does he get the respect he deserves? Not a lick. I also headcannon that his medical ambitions stem from his possible experiences with loss in his personal life and now he's really just determined to be the best doctor there ever was. Sure, he's got some arrogance going for him but I mean it's kind of warranted when your talents aren't truly recognized. It's kinda necessary or else he's gonna lose his shit. No harm keeping his ego in check from time-to-time though.

Jiro - Rush

“I miss the tone of your heartbeat. It’s such a warming and familiar sound. I hope you’re finding the power to help you make it through the darker days. For now I’ll wait by the hour if you wanna take somebody’s breath away.” 

Do I even have to explain this one? Pre-clash to post-clash Jiro is most likely a completely different person. I can imagine him having some remnants of memories from his past of who he was and who he left behind but still not quite fully understanding what this emptiness is and if it was always there.

Anyways that was the post. Thanks for sticking around this long if you made it all the way down here lol. Part 2 of Subaru mini fic will either be out tonight or tomorrow. Okay bye love you!

[brighteststar707]

Faye!!! Congrats on your two years 🎉 I'm so so incredibly happy that we met through good old Mysme I could CRY fr. You are so special to me!!

So I was thinking for a while but didn't want the slots to go, so I'm gonna come outta nowhere and SHOCK HORROR not pick either of my two husbands, Jumin or Zen.

But how about number 30, confiding in them, with Vanderwood. The little tease we got in V's route just made me smitten at the time. He literally is thrust into the RFA drama and I can't help but feel he'd connect with MC. Like lord help us Vandy, wtf is going on.

Lola! Thank you so much for your message! I'm so grateful to have met you, you mean so much to me and I wish only the best for you <3

I'm pleasantly surprised by your request! It's a good event when I can write more than one fic for Vandy.

Picture this: It's V's route, Seven has saved you from Mint Eye, now you, V Seven and Vandy are in the cabin. Your relationship with V is.... not really existent at this point so this fic could be romantic when you squint hehehe

Love ya <3

Confiding in Them

✦Vanderwood x Gn!Reader ✦ Words: 1553

Time in the cabin feels like it has slowed down to a crawl. It is dark outside, and eerily silent. Inside, there are only the sounds of footsteps back and forth across the floorboards, and V’s harsh breathing in the next room. The repetitive nature of the noises has only added to the liminal feeling.

You had reassured the others that you weren’t tired, and then promptly fallen asleep on the sofa, still sitting upright with your jacket draped over your shoulders. When your eyes opened again, you weren’t sure how long you’d been asleep for, or where your dreams ended and reality began. Your life lately has been so strange, it has been hard to keep track. You had dreamt of car chases and cult initiations, the faces and voices of your loved ones so close and yet out of reach. How was that any different to what you had experienced over the last week?

Someone had covered you with a spare blanket when you were asleep, as well as lit a fire in the fireplace opposite you. It was warm, and you were still disoriented from sleep, so you stayed put, wrapping the blanket tighter around yourself and watching the fire dance over the logs.

You allow yourself, maybe for the first time, to process the fact that you managed to get away from Mint Eye and everything they had planned for you. In the (relative) silence of the cabin, with everyone else occupied, it starts to sink in. Back there, with a part of you constantly in fight or flight, it was hard to process the reality of your situation. You were just trying to survive. Now that you’re safe, it all hits at once.

The isolated compound, the flowery pink room, the wardrobe full of clothes made to your measurements. Ray, monitoring your conversations with the RFA, his kindness that teetered on the brink of desperation. The minty blue of his eyes, too vibrant to be natural. The silence in the hallways, so unsettling for a building so full of people.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

You jump and turn your head towards the speaker. You were too caught up in your own thoughts to hear him approach you.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Vanderwood says. To his credit, he does actually look apologetic.

His voice is quiet, deep, and still unfamiliar to you. You have grown used to the voices of the different RFA members, have even started to find a certain comfort in hearing them. On the other hand, he is still practically a stranger to you.

You had very briefly met Vanderwood when he first got to the cabin to help Seven, but you had said little to each other since.

“It’s okay. I’m just a bit jumpy, I guess.”

“From what I’ve seen tonight and what Seven told me – which isn’t much, mind you - that’s not surprising.”

Seven has been keeping an eye on Vanderwood since he entered with a vaguely threatening air you haven’t yet seen from him, reminiscent of someone keeping their attack dog on a short leash.

“What did Seven tell you?”

He joins you on the sofa, sighing deeply before answering. He has been at V’s bedside, tending to him in his terrible state, since arriving, and he has good reason to be tired.

“He has kept most of the story from me. I know that that guy back there has been fed more different drugs than I’ve ever seen before and that you’re his…?” He leaves it open-ended and throws you a meaningful look. He’s still trying to fill the holes in his story.

“Don’t look at me, I don’t even know what we are.” Thinking about V too much makes you scared all over again, so you change the subject. “What else do you know?”

“Nothing except that you were there with them. He’s smart enough to keep RFA stuff away from agency stuff most of the time. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures, though.”

“You can say that again.”

You sound wearier than you mean to. The longer you think about everything, the more ridiculous it all sounds. You watch as a log cracks in the fireplace with a satisfying pop and feel Vanderwood turn to assess you for a moment.

“And who are you in all of this?”

“That’s a long story.”

“And I am a very good listener. Literally, it’s part of my job.”

You laugh. He doesn’t.

“Really, I feel like I haven’t talked to a single person since I arrived - Seven doesn’t count. I need a change of scenery.”

It isn’t that his voice softens, but he sounds like he’s choosing his words more intentionally this time he speaks. It makes him sound more sincere. Maybe that’s what encourages you to indulge him. Or maybe, you just need someone to help ground you now that you feel like you’ve detached from reality.

“Well, I was sort of… kidnapped and held hostage in this cult?”

His eyebrows disappearing into his fringe is the only thing that gives away his surprise. He scans you once over, a well-practiced look. He’s looking for any obvious damage.

“I’m fine, you say quickly, “Seven managed to save me before anything really bad could happen.”

He nods. “You can trust him with these things.” He thinks for a moment, before quickly adding, like a sudden thought that came into his mind “were you with the hacker?”

“Yeah.”

“You met him? What was he like?”

The questions tumble out of his mouth faster than he can stop them. Is this what he sounds like when he’s excited? You had heard him discussing the hacker with Seven earlier, asking questions with his eyes wide. Turns out it’s rare for someone to give Seven this much trouble.

“Strange. Kind of sad. I wish there was something I could do for him.”

Vanderwood’s enthusiasm vanishes.

“Then he sounds just like the rest of us.”

In the silence that follows, you both turn your attention back to the fireplace. The flames seem to have a life of their own, and your cheeks feel warm from the heat of it. Somewhere, from another room, you hear Seven’s voice. You wonder who he’s talking to, or if it's just to himself.

“So, if that guy,” Vanderwood gestures back to the bedroom where V is sleeping, “was drugged to oblivion by that cult, how did you get out okay?”

“He has a bit of a personal history with their founder. The whole RFA does, actually, but his is more… delicate, from what I understand. See, I’m the stranger in this equation.”

“Huh. I don’t know why I expected this to be simple. Nothing Seven involves himself in ever is.”

“They used to all be like a family once apparently. I’m still trying to understand it all myself.”

He puts his head on his hands for a second in a show of exhaustion. “Maaaaan…. how are you staying sane through all of this? Just hearing the gist of things is making me tired.”

You’ve been asked this question a few times, but you’ve never given the real answer any thought before. Next to V, who could barely stand upright and was talking to the air last time you were at his bedside, you were always fine. It felt wrong to even imply otherwise.

But now, when you think about where you were a week ago and how much has changed since then, you aren’t so sure. You can’t remember the last time you felt rested and, even though you’ve been reassured that you’re safe here, you’re scared someone is watching you. You can’t even think of walking down the street by yourself before you break out in goosebumps.

"Oh. I guess you hadn’t gotten that far yet, had you?”

“No… I guess not. Is it that obvious?”

He holds out a gloved hand in front of your face and taps your forehead once, lightly.

“You’re easy to read. Or maybe it’s just me.”

With only the flickering firelight on his face, his expression is hard to make out, but you find some comfort in his gesture.

“I feel like none of it is real. At least if you can see it, it means that I’m not making any of this up.”

He nods and you lapse back into a comfortable silence.

“Hey, I know it may not be much coming from me, but I think you’ve got some good people on your side at the moment.”

You’re not sure what possesses you to ask, “Is that including you?”

He seems to be stunned for a moment before he smiles. It transforms him into a brand-new person, and you can imagine what a different life might have looked like on him. Your anxiety gets pushed down by a wave of pride at managing to elicit that expression from him. You have a feeling it’s quite rare.

“Yeah, I guess it does.”

Suddenly, V groans loudly, startling the both of you. Vanderwood jumps back to his feet and quickly follows the sound to the bedroom door. Before he disappears completely, he turns to you and says, “Listen, I need to go back to playing nurse, but can we talk more a bit later?”

You smile.

“I’d like that.”

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

I feel like maybe someone needs to say it and I figure it's probably best coming from the guy with the Calico Jack pfp who has been very open about not being the biggest Stede fan (he reminds me of my shitty ex hope this helps), because then this comes off less like unhinged blorbo apologia. I just. I'm gonna walk through a minefield with this meta, but I want to talk about the whole Stede abandoning his kids thing. I understand that many people feel all types of things about this and it's valid I get it, but I think we need a bit of perspective.

So basically, recap from discomfort in a married state, which is where we get 90% of Stede's tragic backstory from. I know a lot of stuff with this show is anachronistic, but Stede's marriage really does not seem like one of those things. I say that because in the modern day in the US, which is the audience that OFMD is geared towards and the culture which all the other historical anachronisms seem to favor, it's an American show, arranged marriage is basically unheard of. But it was relatively common among the aristocracy of 1717. Based on this I think we can assume a few things about Stede's marriage. 1) Divorce is not an option, and 2) You have to have kids to carry on the family name and have somebody to pass your money down to. Sure nobody's forcing you at gunpoint to have kids, but culturally back then the expectation is that you get married in order to have legitimate children. If they didn't have kids Mary would have been socially ostracized and seen as a failure of a woman, there would have been social consequences for Stede as well though less harsh. It's informative that Stede and Mary have the classic heir and a spare, i.e. one child to inherit the fortune and one child just in case something happens to that first kid, it's also informative that the younger child is male, since at the time the fortune would either go to the son or the daughter's husband if there was no son to pass it onto.

This is the context we have to understand Stede in. He's a gay man who was forced to be a husband to a woman and who was forced to be a father. The being Mary's husband and being a father are inextricably linked for Stede, because remember the whole point of getting married was to have an heir and you cannot get divorced it's illegal and pretty much unheard of. Stede is so miserable in this state that he literally fucks off to sea to become an outlaw where he'll probably die tomorrow. He's so fucking desperate that instead of going on a rich people cruise like a normal rich guy trying to get away from the family he's doing fucking crimes that could get him hanged to death if he gets caught and could get him killed while he carries them out. This is Stede's last ditch effort to leave his old life behind before he kills himself. This is a borderline suicide attempt from our boy. He's too chicken to do it for real but he can't live like this anymore and he needs to do something.

So like, yeah. Stede's abandonment was probably traumatic for his kids. He was put in a situation where he didn't have many other options, and most of those options are in fact more traumatic for Alma and Louis than Stede just disappearing one day. Because like, staying miserable like that for another... decade minimum I'm gonna guess based on how old Louis looks and acts, is an incredible fucking ask, and having two miserable parents will probably fuck those kids up in a whole host of ways. I know people who have parents who didn't love each other but stayed together for the kids and those people do have issues. Alma herself says that it's probably best he leave because Mary was happier when he was gone. He could just kill himself like normal, which is also pretty goddamn traumatic for his kids I shouldn't have to explain that one. Or he could fuck off in the middle of the night leaving them with Mary and the nanny that almost certainly exists, this isn't child neglect it's child abandonment, Stede can be sure Alma and Louis will be taken care of if he leaves. Even if Mary falls into the worst tropes about widowdom and becomes unable to care for them herself, they're very rich they have people who will care for them. That will fuck them up to, but not significantly more than him sticking around would and at a certain point you have to take care of yourself. The best options are not having the kids in the first place or getting a no fault divorce and being a weekends and holidays dad, but oops, he was forced into having the kids in the first place and he can't get divorced. There's no good options left, those kids are getting traumatized one way or another. The option that hurts himself the least is hitting the bricks.

So like, yeah, dunk on him for being an absent father. I love dunking on him for being an absent father it's very funny. I'll take any opportunity to dunk on Stede. But treating Stede's abandonment with the same lens you would examine modern child abandonment or acting like it's akin to child abuse (I have seen both takes on this wretched website, I'm far more sympathetic to the first than I am to the second) seems kinda unfair. Just like, idk remember the context of him never having asked to be a father and him not having any good options left. Walking out wasn't the right move because there was no right move. I think Stede probably should have had a conversation with Mary about how the only way for him to be happy was for him to leave and made sure that his leaving wasn't a surprise to his kids, but sometimes I think the way that people take it so damn serious is a little unfair

[zuzsenpai]

personal post

I met a friend for lunch yesterday who I hadn't seen in maybe 7 or 8 years. We've known each other for almost 30 years at this point, but for the last decade our conversations have largely been through birthday and Christmas texts. I went to school with her from kindergarten through eighth grade, our families were close, and she was a really good friend. But we had very few things in common as we became teenagers and eventually adults. She was a cheerleader and very classically "boy crazy", while I was a HUGE fandom nerd who was too awkward and nervous to even think about dating (still am, lets be real). She eventually became a very stereotypical "sorority girl" and I became a uhhhh bigger fandom nerd. But she always appreciated me as a friend because she claimed I was the "least fake and most genuine" person in her life. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding back in 2014, and since then she moved 90 mins away while I stayed in our home town. She became a social worker for a veterans hospital and I became a video editor/animator for a health care network. Our parents have stayed friends and see each other a lot more than we do tbh, and like I said, we became "2-3 texts per year friends". None of this background info is super relevant to what I'm about to say, but whatever. I said it anyway.

So yesterday we spent about 3 hours catching up. It was nice to see her, but a bit difficult. Because everything she caught me up on was one negative thing after another, one medical issue or work stressor or aging parent issue after another. She bombarded me with details on how every week at work is worse than the next. That she can barely handle the stress. That work stress is what's caused her to fail to get pregnant for the 5 years she's been trying, and now she's at the age where a pregnancy would be geriatric. That she can't do IVF because she has a severe anesthesia phobia. That her parents are dying and her husband's parents are dying and every vacation she tries to go on gets screwed up somehow. Even the tiniest little thing like "oh let me see a picture of your cat", turned into complaining about the cat's medical problems. I know life can be VERY shitty, especially for millennials, but what she said really got to me.

I absorbed the negative vibes and responded with complaints about my life/medical issues/work/relationships/parents as well. And soon I came to the realization that there's nothing good going on in my life either. Or at least nothing she would understand. Things like "I'm replaying a game I love because I want to write fanfic" or "I'm slowly pulling together a new cosplay".... those are things that I would consider positive in my life, but they felt like they weren't worth mentioning. But you know... maybe I should have mentioned them. Because she probably went home thinking the same thing about me-- that I'm a negative person and my life is shit.

During our entire 3 hour conversation, neither of us laughed once, and that really struck me. I spiraled a bit after I went home. It made me realize I need to be more positive, because I really don't want to lose the friends I talk to and see more regularly. Obviously I can't ignore the shitty things going on in my life, but I think it's important for me to say to myself that I'm doing alright sometimes. That something made me happy or something in the future will make me happy. I can't turn into my mom who, whenever she talks to any friend or relative in her life, only talks about her medical problems or other people's medical problems.

I had a rough year, not gonna lie. I broke up with my boyfriend. Then I had the most severe mental health crisis of my life. Then I had a breast cancer scare and lumpectomy. Then Zuko got sick and I started to have burnout/depression spiral/massive uptick in anxiety. Then work got too difficult to handle. Meanwhile I've been struggling with constant exhaustion, increased body image issues, loneliness, bad social anxiety, and the process of re-evaluating my life with the "I probably have autism" lens.

But I can't let this year define me. I can't let negativity and shitty situations define me. I can't have someone I care about think about me and say to themselves "wow she is depressing and all I know about her is that her life sucks." Because at this point? All that old childhood friend and I know about each other is that our lives suck. Literally nothing else.

I need to be more positive. Seriously.

[chiffaust]

DAY 8 — CHRISTMAS PROMPT 💋 + adonis otogari

💋  ─  be caught standing under the mistletoe

Bringing Adonis along to a relatives Christmas party as a plus one isn't exactly the plan you you were thinking of from the start—hell, you weren't even thinking of attending.

But one after the other, you were dragged and so did Adonis. Adonis agreed to go with you without a second thought; sometimes you truly do think that he's too kind for this world.

"[Name], do you want some food? They're quite delicious." He asked, bringing a plate full of food to you, a smile was to be seen on his face.

"No, I'm fine... I'm not exactly hungry." You turned down the offer, smiling apologetically at him.

"It's okay. If you want some food, please just tell me. I'll get it for you right away." Adonis said, leaning onto the wall beside you, still indulging himself in the food he has on his plate.

Silence overtook you two once again as the Christmas BGM and the chatters of everyone became louder to you. Ah, how you hate this. You just wanna go home already.

"[Name], are you okay? Is there something bothering you?" Adonis asks, catching on quite quickly that you're bothered about something.

His question brought you back to reality, you look at him, smiling apologetically as you sheepishly chuckled. "Haha, it's alright. I just hadn't seen my parents, that's all. They were the one who dragged us into this, after all..."

"And my cousin too. Where are they. They said they'd come. They bailed on me, they're gonna pay for this." You restlessly tapped on your arm, teeth gritting at the fact that they'd bail on you like that. To Adonis, it seemed like you were really a moment away from blowing up.

Before he could say anything to comfort you, a voice echoed from afar; the voice called out your name. He looked at the direction the voice came from and then to you who suddenly had such a pleasant smile on your face.

"Yes, auntie? Do you need anything?" You ask as you see one of your aunt coming from the crowd.

She then proceed to drag you to somewhere amongst the crowd and had told Adonis to come to which he did.

He had asked you where she's taking the both of you to, but you didn't have a single clue either. How annoying, really. Nonetheless, you didn't voice out your distress and continued to follow her.

Then she stopped, and told you two to stay there. As she left, you let out a loud sigh, shaking your head at her actions.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this, Adonis. Whatever she's trying to do..." You look up at Adonis, smiling sheepishly once again.

"No, it's okay. I think your family are pleasant people. You know, I met your father while at the dining area."

"R-really? What did he say...?" You ask, nervousness overtook you at his statement.

"He told me that he was happy you chose me as your boyfriend and that I was a kind man." Adonis then smiled once again, remembering the compliment your father gave to him. "He said I could come over to your house too whenever I want. Maybe we should sometimes? I didn't had the chance to thank him for his kind words ♪"

No way... The person he met, was that actually your father...?

Suddenly, the whole place went quiet somehow. You both looked around, confused as to why everybody's attention were on you all of the sudden before you look up and see it;

The mistletoe.

Your face started heating up in embarrassment at the realization on why everybody was quiet; they were seriously expecting you to kiss Adonis.

Some where whispering amongst one another and some were already making that kissy face at you.

"J-just so you know... That will not happen! In your dreams, you bast—"

"Uhm, [Name]. Can I kiss you?" Adonis sudden asks, albeit bashfully. "It's okay if you don't want to, I—"

"N-no, let's kiss!" You replied out of instinct and grabbed him by his collar to bring him down closer to your height. The kiss didn't last for long, but your family soon went crazy.

You were gonna get teased as hell on your next family gathering. As you basked in your embarrassment, Adonis soon wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer for a hug.

"You seemed quite flustered... We can stay like this for a while if you'd like."

You huffed at his statement, not doing anything to be free from his grasp. If you're going to get teased then so be it. You love your boyfriend.

[justabigoldnerd]

Rules: post a kiss from any of your OCs/WIPs. Any kiss, from familial, pecks on the cheek, kisses on the forehead, to full blown steamy make-outs

This week, I'll share all the kisses in "All Eyes On Me (Your Eyes On Me)" !!

This fic is pretty much porn with plot so I'm gonna put all but the first one below the cut lmao

1.

However, by eight o'clock, both the platter and the decanter were empty and Illya was far too comfortable on Solo's expensive couch to move. "'M goin' to bed, Peril," Solo's face appeared over his, "Stayin' or leavin'?" A small smile tugged its way onto Illya's face. Solo was excellent at keeping his American accent relatively neutral, even when drunk. But recently, he'd stopped trying to hide the twinge of New York in his voice around his partners. "Staying," he slurred, his own accent noticeably thicker.  "'Kay. I'll grab a blanket. Don't go anywhere." Solo and his curls were gone again, but not for long. A soft throw blanket was draped over Illya's form, and Solo reappeared. "Good night, Cowboy," Illya drawled, tilting up his chin to better see his friend. "'Night, hun," Solo gave a loopy grin and leaned forward to plant a kiss on Illya's forehead. "Wha-," he started to question, but sleep was closer than Solo, who was currently stumbling his way to his bed, and he decided that whatever that was could be dealt with in the morning.

2.

Illya slid his hand up Dunne's neck and cradled his jaw. A kiss was coming. This was not the person Illya wanted his first kiss with a man to be with. But the mission came first. And in the dark of the club, if Illya squinted hard enough, he could pretend that it was Solo standing with him, eyes sparkling, waiting for him to seal the night with a kiss. "Keeps me happy," Illya replied, watching Dunne's mouth for a moment longer before taking a breath and dipping his head, kissing him with all the hunger he could muster.  Dunne hummed into the kiss, locking his hands around the back of Illya's neck and deepening it, inviting his tongue into his mouth. When they parted, Illya kept his eyes closed, beaming. The tightness and wrongness in his chest made it difficult, but Illya was able to convince Dunne that he'd thoroughly enjoyed the kiss.

3.

Dunne rambled on about everything under the sun on the short walk to his flat. Illya mostly tuned him out, nodding along in mock interest. It was nothing important, mostly about horse racing and art. Soon, they reached the building and Dunne tugged him upstairs, suddenly in more of a hurry. Illya allowed himself to be pulled into Dunne's apartment, taking a moment to examine the room for any clue as to where the safe would be. He didn't have long, however, because Dunne pushed him against the wall and kissed him roughly. His hands skirted under the fabric of Illya's shirt, fingers burying themselves in his hair. Illya squeezed his eyes shut, desperately imagining that Dunne's brown eyes were blue. He had a job to do. He grabbed Dunne's face and kissed him back, letting his target unbutton the rest of his shirt. Once it was open all the way, Dunne helped him out of it. His hands caught on the number of scars marking his torso and he pulled away for a moment, intrigued.

4.

"Me too," Illya said quickly, his heart racing. "Sorry?" "I like both. Just not Dunne." The tension in Solo's shoulders melted away, and he laughed, breathy and relieved. "I never would've guessed." "Like I said," Illya drawled, everything from the past few days finally making sense. He grabbed the seat of Solo's chair and pulled it close. Solo gasped lightly and braced himself with one hand against the table. A pink flush spread across his face. "You are a terrible spy." Trading lessons for passion, Illya cupped Solo's face and closed the distance between them with a truly delirious kiss that made heat coil in his belly. All of the exhaustion was banished from his body, replaced by adrenaline. After a second of shock, Solo reciprocated, shifting impossibly closer to Illya and tangling his fingers in his hair. When they finally parted, Solo panted, "I was jealous. I wanted to be the one to tear that tiny shirt off of you. I wanted to be the target of what I taught you. I wanted you to use them on me." "I imagined he was you. To make it through," Illya laughed, amused by their mutual oblivion. "Did it help?" "Little bit. Nothing like the real thing," he pulled him into another kiss, his hands drifting to the buttons of Solo's waistcoat.

5.

Solo caught his hands and pulled away a bit, concern on his face, "Are you sure? After what happened tonight?"

Illya adjusted so that he was holding Solo's hands, and gazed into his eyes, "More than ever." Then he stood and pulled Solo with him to the bed. He let Solo climb onto it, then Illya hovered over him, pressing starving kisses to his lips. Solo's hands slid up Illya's chest and worked to unbutton the fresh dress shirt Illya had changed into after his shower.

6.

Having never bedded a man, Illya was unsure how to proceed. He knew what felt good for himself, but that was it. Planting a kiss to Solo's hip bone, he rumbled, "Show me what you want."

7.

"Close, I'm close," Solo warned, his rhythm faltering. His eyes squeezed shut and his whole body tensed. Illya kept the pace, but rose up to kiss Solo through the orgasm. "Mm- Fuck, Illya!" Solo cried into the kiss as his back arched and he came, shuddering. "That's my úmnitsa," Illya purred, swallowing the moans of Solo's come-down with grateful kisses.

8.

"'Pretty good'? I think I deserve more credit," Illya pinched his waist playfully, making them both laugh. "Okay, fine," Solo rose up to kiss him again, "I never want to scream anyone else's name." The commitment in his words scared the little boy in his chest that had been abandoned one too many times. Illya comforted the small, teary-eyed version of himself by assuring him that, politics being what they are, if Solo were to abandon them, he would have to kill him. "You won't," Illya promised between kisses that were growing deeper again, "Not if I have any say."

9.

"There's one more thing you need to learn," Solo said, dripping with mischief. "What would that be?" "The definition of a 'switch'," the disheveled tone had dissipated, replaced by a sultry confidence made hoarse by Illya's efforts. Solo pulled him into one more kiss before swiftly rolling them over so that he straddled Illya's hips. Woah. Maybe Dunne had been right about one thing.

10.

"How'd you guess?" Solo grinned, ducking to press a soft kiss to Illya's lips before biting down on his bottom lip. Illya gasped in pleasure and pain. When Solo sat back up, he praised, "So clever."

11.

"Well, my dear, that's what I'm about to do," Solo eased, pressing a soft kiss to his inner thigh. "Oh." Eyes twinkling, Solo traced the skin of Illya's thigh with his fingertips, resting his hand on his hip. He trailed gentle, almost-chaste kisses along the inside of his other thigh until he reached Illya's dick. Solo gingerly wrapped his free hand around the base of Illya's length, then looked up at him through his lashes, "Ready?"

12.

Familiar with the high of the afterglow, Illya just smiled down at him and pulled him up to give him a slow, chaste kiss. "Decide that in the morning. Shower?"

13.

"No rush. I'm enjoying this. I meant it when I said I was in love with you," he got quieter as he spoke, vulnerability seeping through the cracks. That warm ember glow spread through Illya's chest again and he ran his fingers through Solo's curls. "I am in love with you, too." "That settles it, then," Solo gave him a soft kiss on the lips and cuddled further into Illya's arms, "Five more minutes." Illya closed his eyes again, "Five more minutes."

14.

When Solo re-emerged from the bathroom, he looked far more put together in a gray-blue three piece suit and his hair carefully styled. Gaby leapt up and crossed the room, throwing her arms around his neck in an unexpected hug. When she pulled away, she looked between him and Illya and declared, "You smell like him. You fucked." "I prefer 'made love'," Illya clarified, making Solo turn beet red. "I hate both of you. I expect this from you," he turned back to Illya, "But et tu, Peril?" "Is fun to see you flustered," Illya shrugged, approaching him, holding his face, and kissing him softly.  "I guess that's payback for my stunt back in London, huh?" "So clever," Illya purred, and Solo flushed again. "I'm going to go call Waverly and report you both to HR."

15.

Gaby, mid-lyric, threw out her arms at the sight of him and wrapped him in a tight hug, kissing him on the cheek before taking the flowers he brought. "These are beautiful! I know just the vase," she reached up into Solo's cabinet and produced a pretty, rectangular, green vase. The epitome of spring with the white and yellow bouquet.

16.

"You brought flowers?" Solo cooed, turning from the stove top. That adorable frilly pink apron was tied around him again. "How domestic, Illya!" Illya rolled his eyes good-naturedly and pulled Solo into a slow, soft kiss by his waist. Solo's hand held his face gently, and he smiled into it. When they parted, Illya said, "I am getting used to domestic. Is nice." "No arguments from me," Solo grinned, still wearing that awestruck expression he got after every kiss, despite the months that had passed. Illya could understand, though. He kept falling in love with Solo over and over again. With every kiss, every meal, every mission, every witty or not-so-witty quip, every bicker and rescue and night spent enjoying each other's company in every sense of the phrase, Illya fell even more in love with the most unlikely of partners.

Open Tag for anyone who (made it this far, lol 💕) wants to join!!! 💕💕💕💕💕