#and from the way she steamrolls not a great listener

[sunskate]

meagan duhamel on tsl talking about how disorganized and ineffective skate canada is and mentioning tessa and scott in a couple contexts:

about how poorly attended Nationals was: why did they not go to local skating clubs and give them tickets to come watch Nationals? i know that didn’t happen [… ] my husband told me that he was talking to a couple of coaches from around the area. none of the local skating clubs had posters of Nationals at the rink […] the cold has nothing to do with this. the tickets weren’t bought- nobody had a ticket and chose not to go out

about how it's necessary to be bold and think outside the current box: it’s hard to be bold though - because like I’m one of the bold ones - and like Skate Canada hates me. they would never listen to my advice. when I retired I volunteered myself to be a team leader for junior grand prix, and they were like no thanks, we already have team leaders. if I think of myself as a junior skater, and a recently retired Olympic champion or world champion was going to team lead my junior grand prix that would have been life changing for me, but like no thanks we don’t need you

[...] we need to speak up if we want to create change- we need these voices we need people who are courageous enough to put themselves on the line. i would love to work within high performance, i would love it. high performance figure skating. Skate Canada would nev- they’re so scared of what i’m gonna say that they would never

about talking Patrick Chan into committing to the team event in PYC: Scott and Eric were the ones responsible (for that happening)

about taking packaging out of the picture: what would happen if the skaters all wore black leggings and a black tank top and no makeup and didn't have their hair done and skating was judged on the skate- the purity of the skating and the performance and not distracted by the costume? who would be the champions? who would be the champions right now if that was how we did things? and you know who put that seed in my head many years ago was Tessa Virtue - she was like why don't we all just wear black? and i think it was meant for the same reason as i'm thinking - where you're being judged on the purity of your figure skating - instead of on your costume, makeup, or your hair

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Capítulo 8

- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)

Watching Fina with tears in her eyes trying to say sorry to Petra who accuses her of taking advantage of their friendship is pretty much as much fun as a Friday night of drinking pickle juice and giving yourself recreational papercuts. It has to count as a form of unusually cruel punishment. That look on Fina’s face however as realisation dawns, that Petra have been using her to get to the position at the store. The way you can see her go from sincere sorrow to sadness lined with righteous anger.

Fina stage whispering “I’ll kill you” at Carmen as she’s called her dad because of her weird and inexplicable sickness. This friendship is a gem. Isidro as always cutting through the bullshit and calling Fina out on her faked illness. “I’m not six years old-” and the response of “well stop acting like you are”, but it’s not said in a condescending way, he just checks her on her behaviour. His words though, they work her over and before long he has her up and out of that bed, on her way to face her new job and the mistakes she’s made. Like I said, I get why Fina is the way she is and it's a lot to do with who Isidro is as a parent I think.

Claudia in the store babbling on about how most men are a bit of a scoundrel and Fina just straight up zoning out with as much subtly as a brick to the face. Gods, she really just fucking kills Tasio at every opportunity she gets. “You lost me at Tasio and noble” - she excuses herself when Claudia calls her back to reality. Fina never change.

Also Claudia, just listen to Fina. Sure she’s just had her heart broken by the manipulative snake in a dressing gown standing next to you, but she’s not wrong. There are a lot of people who will take advantage of others in the name of love, Tasio most surely would be one of them. Being heterosexual is not a valid excuse to be stupid, shape up Claudia.

Am I a vindictive bitch, yes, but that does not stop me from taking great pleasure in the fact that Marta does not really see Petra, she just steamrolls right past her, but hiccups as her eyes land on Fina in that uniform. Yeah, I think this was actually the start. She continues her quest of being a harsh but fair mistress, telling Fina she’s not doing her any favours, but she expects hard and good work from her. Still though, that “you look different in the uniform” gets caught in her chest and seems to stumble from her lips in a most uncharacteristic way from the otherwise eloquent queen of keeping her shit together.

Petra blackmailing Fina who despite all of it sort of stands her ground. Fina says she’s sorry, she didn’t mean to offend or overstep a boundary, but she doesn’t deny what she did, there are no excuses she tries to offer up. She owns the kiss even though she apologises for having read Petra’s intentions wrong. That takes some fucking courage, especially how she then calls Petra out on her unfair behaviour as she tries to blackmail Fina out of a job because of it. She is clearly scared of being found out, about the possibility of her father finding out, but at the same time she doesn’t grovel. She doesn’t even deny being a lesbian. This is the start of why I find her so refreshing as a character, especially in a period drama. Being gay, society and our upbringing often encourage us to be apologetic about our existence, many of us filled with internalised homophobia from a very young age through the intentional and subconscious acts of the straights around us who matter to us (and those we wish didn’t). Fina however, no. Fina apologises for her actions, which were misguided, but she does not apologise for the drive behind them. And as Petra blackmails her she is clearly worried, but mostly - well mostly she comes across as really fucking angry at the injustice of it all. She will not say sorry for being gay, but she will rage at the world for treating her unjustly because of it. That’s fresh. That’s why she very quickly has become one of my favourite fictional lesbians and a bit of a role model.

We are not at fault, if the world can’t stomach us - then that is its problem, not ours.

[o-uncle-newt]

Cabin Pressure Advent Day 22: Vaduz

In which everyone pronounces Liechtenstein differently. Including, sometimes, the same actors from sentence to sentence...

So I love Vaduz because of course I do- I've said before that I love the show's turn toward the heartwarming side, and Vaduz is a symbol that we are somewhere that we could never have been in the S1 headspace. There are two HIGHLY specific ways that that happens, one of which I greatly prefer to the other (though overall I enjoy both).

The Carolyn and Herc plotline is, obviously, catnip for me. You've seen my long screeds about vulnerability as a running theme in Cabin Pressure (as recently as yesterday!) and Carolyn has always had an issue with people seeing her for who she is rather than for the image she portrays. It's easier to be feared due to leverage and a loud bark than loved because of something intangible that you can't actually control... and that's even before one hits the hurdle of discussing one's own feelings! Because there's also the element of considering a partner's needs- Carolyn's very much been in the habit of steamrollering over people, and now she's in a relationship (loath as she is to admit it) with another person who needs something from her, whether reassurance or an outright commitment, and she needs to decide whether it is worth giving those things to him and, in the process, acknowledging what that means to her.

And the way it's done is great- and credits to the two EXCELLENT actors playing the scenes, who really manage to give that final bit a real sense of drama that has the scene end on a silent, emotive and suspenseful note that I shiver at every time. It's a sitcom, but it's also a little snippet of human drama. And arguments from people who love to argue and are sharp-witted are always so fun to listen to! The bit where Carolyn reuses Herc's "overreacting" joke, Herc calls it out, and she says "it's funnier because the stakes are higher" is both entertainingly meta and very true to the two of them as people- and the fact that it ends in medias res, and we know that this won't get resolved for a while, just makes the whole thing feel even more resonant.

Now for everyone else- so obviously this is a hilarious plot line (and very, VERY well plotted) and I DO like Teresa. I do. I love the reversal of the "slaying the dragon" thing and think the plotting here was great. For me, though, the major flaws were Maxi and Martin's plotline with him. Maxi's scenes with Arthur are fantastic, but I feel like he's a bit over the line from "cartoon villain" to "cartoon fantasy villain" in a way that kind of brings the episode a bit over the line into actual absurdity, especially given how relatively grounded Carolyn's plot line is. All of the royal stuff just feels very random, and while it matters less for Teresa, it's a bit more over the top for Maxi. And Martin's plot line with him... I don't know, it just felt a bit clunky in a way that I feel like late-season Cabin Pressure is usually better than. Sort of forced and with odd dialogue. I don't know, it's just a feeling I have, and it's not overwhelming enough to keep me from enjoying the episode.

But anyway, I am very glad that Martin got someone to go to Duxford Air Museum with him!

[manorpunk]

To Seize and Hold - Act III

+++++

Liam starts making more steps towards independence - he goes to see a therapist, but soon leaves in disgust after a tentative diagnosis of “obsessive co-sentiment disorder,” which sounds an awful lot like “caring-about-other-people disorder.” He finishes his future-GED, applies for citizenship, and gets his first job - prep work in a co-packer, making industrial-sized batches of potato salad. The work isn’t great, but Liam finds a strange sense of peace there, surrounded by the hum of machinery and the smell of ground mustard, hidden behind a face mask, hairnet, and earplugs, the solitude, the peaceful oblivion of line assembly.

Bad news comes in from Webersberg. The situation in Liam’s hometown has gotten worse - Remington Weber and his compatriots are in open revolt, and in response, Solomon van Gekkenhuis (Liam’s old friend who has admittedly been very underdeveloped in this outline, but he’s a pseudo-intellectual authoritarian type - “if only everyone would realize how smart and right I am, I could fix everything”) has been appointed as the new temporary manager of Webersberg, and Solomon is now hoping to go along with Bogdan’s “Plan A” of flattening Webersberg and starting over.

Liam thinks about his hometown - the good times, the bad times, its cruelty and compassion, and what would it mean for it to be destroyed. Would it be the act of a tyrannical state, steamrolling over anyone who won’t play by its rules? Or is it the sad but necessary suppression of a bubble of retrograde provincialism? After all, we’re trying to move forward, to leave the madness of the Polycrisis behind us, and there are always some people who won’t like that. But who’s ‘we’ here? Everyone has their own take, but Liam frankly just wishes that nobody had to hurt anyone else.

Jacob is shocked and disappointed by Liam’s take. What’s the matter with you, Liam? Don’t you want revenge? After all the shit they put you through, don’t you want your chance with your thumb on the scales?

No, Liam says, I don’t.

Jacob tries to brush it off, but he’s clearly lost respect for Liam, and Jacob doubles down on the ‘advice’ that Anton gave to him earlier - it’s time to make something of all these kids, teach them to fight, teach them to stay vigilant, and teach them how to listen to him unquestioningly. Liam’s earlier suspicions have been confirmed: he can’t stay here for much longer, he doesn’t want to be a part of this. Jacob was so charming and generous, it was so easy to forget that he’s got the cold, cruel heart of a military commander.

And so, finally, Liam contacts Sunny and tells her everything - the way Jacob not only openly discusses matters of state with his maidboys, but the way he’s turning them into his own little private army. Sunny is pleased - her scheme worked! - and shortly after, Liam’s bank account starts getting dividends from an anonymous fund. Pretty respectful dividends, too. Enough to live off of. He can start looking around for a new place, maybe finally feel like his life is going somewhere. Though it’s hard to think too much about that when, I must repeat, his hometown is about to be shelled to the ground.

Because by this point, it’s going to happen. After getting Liam’s info, Sunny’s response was not to try and de-escalate the situation, but rather, to beat him to the punch. She contacts Bogdan and requests they mobilize the Great Lakes Republic State Guard. We get the climactic scene of Sunny showing up in her mech (of course she has a mech) and ceremonially launching the first rocket into Webersberg to start the assault.

The battle is short and decisive. Webersberg - it started as a mall, then became a bandit fort, then became a small town, and then, in just a few minutes, became a pile of glass and concrete. Casualties are few - most people had evacuated, only Remington’s family held out to the end.

Liam lies down and stares up at the sky as he has one last conversation with Leona (She’s been talking with him the whole time, I forgot to mention. Look, this is a pretty bare-bones outline, if I mentioned someone at the beginning just assume they’ve popped their head up every now and then). She tells him that opportunities to reinvent oneself like this are few and far between, and he should take advantage of it.

But how, Liam asks? What should I do? What should I become?

Leona titters and paces around him. Do you still not get it? Think back, about everything. The restlessness and dissociation that has nagged you your entire life. The way you never felt comfortable in your own body. Didn’t feel comfortable as a straight guy, barely felt comfortable as a gay guy, and felt most comfortable completely hidden behind your protective gear at work. Do you remember what you felt the first time you wore that maid uniform? When you looked in the mirror and felt this deep, wonderful ache, like you were so close to something, and yet just far enough away that you felt like a dismal parody? Like you had just wished upon a monkey’s paw? What do you think that feeling was?

Oh, says Liam Hessian.

Ohhhhhh, says Leona Hessian.

+++++

They say that a good ending to a story is surprising, yet inevitable. In some ways, Leona coming out as a trans woman happens out of nowhere, but at the same time it fits snugly within the story’s themes: America/Usonia’s identity crisis as it transitions out of the Polycrisis parallels Leona’s identity crisis, and damn near everything about Sunny Roosevelt plays off of the universal theme of “public persona vs. internal truth” - there’s something deeply spiritual about vtubers, isn’t there? Voluntarily subsuming oneself into a new identity, like a shaman’s mask, dissolving one’s physical form to become an avatar - a word derived from Sanskirit term which referred to a god descending from the heavens into a corporeal form.

But it’s also for that very reason that it’s hard to make a story that’s ‘about’ Sunny, in the same way that Lord Vetinari was never really the ‘main character’ of any of the Discworld books, no matter how often he appeared. If he was the main character, he would need to have a character arc, but Vetinari is already his consummate self - there is nothing left to transform. Growth and transformation are for mere mortals. But it’s also for those reasons that she works fabulously as a major supporting character - she loves to meddle and she has a skeleton key to the internet, so she always has a reason to get involved in someone else’s business.

Jacob Martin Rider, meanwhile, is pure candy to write (specifically Cosmicandy (another joke for five people)). At first glance he seems completely absurd and impossible, but like… just imagine what T.E. Lawrence would have gotten up to if he lived in an era where queerness was more accepted. I resisted making him the bad guy at first, but it all made too much sense - underneath the charm and flamboyance he burns with spite like a collapsing star. Sort of a peak anti-tenderqueer.

And all this is the beauty of the writing process, I started with “what if there was a vtuber and a cavalry officer in a future-balkanized US” and now I’m here.

Anyway, I have my marching orders. I turned the one-sentence version into the ten-page version, and now it’s time to turn the ten-page version into the hundred-and-fifty-page version.

Shit, did I even mention how the Global Logistics Network plays into all this? Okay, so the GLN is… [the audio slowly fades out and the camera pulls away as I continue rambling about the lore]

[bottleofbread]

Looks sad. Whips out the Ukulele

"Hi. It's been a while since you saw my face. I haven't been doing so great, so I took a little break. A lot of people are saying some things about me that aren't quite true. It doesn't matter if it's true though just as long as it's entertaining to you. right? You guys having fun? All aboard the toxic gossip train chugging down the tracks of misinformation.

The toxic gossip train... They got a one-way ticket to manipulation station. Toxic gossip traaaain. Tie me to the tracks and harass me for my past. Rumors look like facts if you don't mind the gaps and I won't survive the crash but heyyyy. At least you are having fun.

Uh hi everyone, I've been wanting to come online and talk to you about a few things um even though my team has strongly advised me to not say what I want to say I recently realized that they never said that I couldn't sing what I want to say. So... (looks super smug and really proud of herself)

So here I am and um today I only want to talk about the facts so I hope that you'll be willing to listen.

Here we go.

Many years ago I used to message my fans uh but not in a creepy way like a lot of you are trying to suggest it was more of a loser kind of way but I was just trying to be besties with everybody. it's kind of like when you go to like a family gathering you know and there's a weird aunt there keeps coming up to you and going like "hey girl what's the tea?" and you're like that weird. Uhm that was me but in group chats with my fans. it was weird.

I've been sharing my life online for over 15 years I've poured my heart out to you and because of that I feel like I'm talking to my friends but in the beginning of my career I didn't really understand that maybe there should be some boundaries there.

There were times the DMS when I would share details of my life, which was really weird of me. I haven't done for in years you see, because I changed my behavior and I took accountability.

But that's not very interesting is it? So let's go on the toxic gossip train. Locomotives filed fueled with hateful accusations. The toxic gossip train. Steamrolling all over someone's reputation

Toxic gossip train, hop on board but close your eyes otherwise you'll realize that the train is made of lies and that the person you despise maybe didn't deserve to die, but hey at least you're having fun.

In all seriousness, I do think it's really important to hold people accountable for their mistakes um you know we should hope that everyone can learn from their mistakes and grow and change their behavior and be a better person. This is something that I've always tried to do when I make mistakes. It's something that I will continue to try to do...

What oh you don't care oh okay I thought you wanted me to take accountability but that's not the point of your mob mentality, is it? No, your goal is to ruin the life of the person you despise while you dramatize your lies and monetize their demise ... yeah.

I feel like I can already hear the comments on this video: she's gaslighting, manipulating oh she's a narcissist and a rat, I would never make a mistake like that.

oh I'm sorry I didn't realize that all of you are perfect, so please criticize me. Bring out the daggers made from your perfect past and stab me repeatedly in my bony little back. I'm sure you're disappointed in my shitty little song. I know you wanted me to say that I was 100% in the wrong. Well I'm sorry, I'm not gonna take that route of admitting to lies and rumors that you made up for clout.

Hey everybody I found someone new to harass she did some things that I do not like in her past so everybody gather round cause we're about to attack but not based on facts. Oh no you're loaded Lethal Weapon It's your fingers on the keys. You don't need any armor when you can hide behind a screen so shoot me down quick, with a click and bam - the reputation is deceased.

I also wanted to take a minute to talk about that girl, Miranda Sings, you know the one. She's PG-13 it says that on my website and it's always been that way and that's why you won't find my videos on the YouTube kids app anyway. um I didn't realize it was my responsibility to decide what was appropriate for every kid to see. I've always relied on parents to decide if they're comfortable, with their families watching my YouTube videos or coming to my live shows.

Now. Have I made some jokes in poor taste? yes. Have I made lots of dumb mistakes? yes.

am I sad that there are some fans who feel betrayed? yes.

Was my intention to manipulate? No.

It doesn't really matter what my intention was because it seems as though everyone's already decided on that.

Let me tell you it's not very fun to have millions of people all over the world call you the most vile ,horrendous, disgusting, life-ruining words that a person can be called, in my opinion.

Um it doesn't matter that these things aren't true, everyone just believes that you are the type of person who manipulates and abuses children.

oh I just wanted to say that um the thing I've ever groomed is my two Persian cats. I'm not a groomer I'm just a loser who didn't understand I shouldn't respond to fans and I'm not a predator, even though a lot of you think so, because five years ago I made a fart joke.

So even though I know this video won't change anyone's mind about me I still felt it was important to come on here and defend myself a little and take accountability. And I also wanted to say that to anyone out there who has ever supported me, in any capacity, I really really appreciate you. thank you.

For what it's worth, I never had any bad intentions but I do feel like shit.

The toxic gossip train, you're chugging down the track of misinformation. Toxic gossip train... You've got a one way ticket to manipulation station. Toxic gossip train... you tied me to the tracks and harassed me for my past. Rumors look like facts when you don't mind the gaps. I won't survive and crash, but hey...I hope you had some fun.

dramatically comes close to the camera to turn it off and then continues with:

Actually, you know, I feel like maybe I should let you guys know something. um it seems like, maybe you're confused about something. I don't know.

Let me try to help, um.

Sometimes people make a mistake and it does and make them a horrible person. whoaaaa. sometimes people can make a mistake and they're still a good person, crazy I know. sometimes people can make a mistake and you don't have to take a mistake and twist it up and grind it and add some lies to it and pulverize it and stab it with knives and ruin a life and. oh no sometimes people can make a mistake, it doesn't mean you gotta send them hate. oh no sometimes people can make a mistake and you can kindly let them know and help them to grow.

sometimes people make mistakes simply because they made a mistake and that mistake doesn't make them a terrible human, it just makes them a human.

But what do I know? Fuck me, right?

[buttercupbuck]

i think it'll be episode seventeen when he ends it.

idk for me personally i just don't know if i see it happening in an episode called "love is in the air." i know there are gonna be some complications/interruptions like KR mentioned but i don't see that being the end of their relationship yet tbh. like buck is historically not great at listening to signs from the universe and he's also just so deep in it right now that i don't think i see him calling it quits out of seemingly nowhere when he was just waxing poetic about how she makes him feel so seen etc etc

honestly in my gut it feels a lot like breaking point to me, where when we got the synopsis we were all maybe a little Too convinced that eddie would break it off with ana because of chris, but in hindsight it just wasn't the most realistic expectation. both because it wouldn't have made a ton of sense to do everything they had done in jinx just to have eddie break off the relationship, and because eddie was committed to it. he was committed to the idea of them and to this illusion of healing and moving on it allowed him to lean into, and he kind of just steamrolled past their issues to maintain the relationship

however!! even within that episode, there were still indications that they wouldn't last despite everything seeming to end on a good note for them, and i feel that the same would probably be true for 6.17. i think the fact that there even are these interruptions and almost signs from the universe is probably a good one

but like eddie in breaking point, i just think buck is too committed to the illusion of healing this relationship lends him and i don't really see him giving up on it so soon

anyway this is all just my personal feelings about it and idk shit so if im wrong im wrong but i have seen this film before and i just get slightly anxious about people being So sure of it and then losing their shit if it doesn't pan out the way they think. i'm definitely not thrilled with the idea of them continuing into s7 and i'd love it if they didn't but either way i'm just gonna sit back and trust the writers

[scrybe-of-death]

Hey

It's been a while since you saw my face

I haven't been doing so great

So I took a little break

A lot of people are saying some things about me that aren't quite true

Doesn't matter if it's true, though

Just as long as it's entertaining to you, right?

You guys having fun?

All aboard the toxic gossip train

Chugging down the tracks of misinformation

The toxic gossip train

You got a one-way ticket to manipulation station

Toxic gossip train

Tie me to the tracks and harass me for my past

Those rumors look like facts if you don't mind the gaps

I won't survive in the crash, but hey

At least you're havin' fun

Uh, hi, everyone

I've been wanting to come online and talk to you about a few things

Um, even though my team has strongly advised me to not say what I want to say

I recently realized that they never said that I couldn't sing what I wanna say, so

Here I am, and, um, today I only wanna talk about the facts

So, I hope that you'll be willing to listen

Here we go

Many years ago, I used to message my fans

Uh, but not in a creepy way like a lot of you are trying to suggest

It was more of a loser kind of way

Where I was just trying to be besties with everybody

It was kinda like, uh, when you go to like a family gathering, you know?

And there's a weird aunt there who keeps coming up to you and going like "Hey, girl, what's the tea!"

And you're like "Ehhh"

Um, that was me, but in group chats with my fans, it was weird

I've been sharing my life online for over 15 years

I've poured my heart out to you and because of that I feel

Like I'm talking to my friends, but, in the beginning of my career

I didn't really understand that maybe there should be some boundaries there

There were times in the DMs when I would overshare

Details of my life, which was really weird of me

I haven't done that for years, you see

Because I changed my behavior, and I took accountability

But that's not very interesting, is it?

So let's go on the toxic gossip train

The locomotive's fueled with hateful accusations

The toxic gossip train

Steamroll over someone's reputation

Toxic gossip train

Hop on board, but close your eyes, otherwise you'll realize

That the train is made of lies and that person you despise

Maybe didn't deserve to die

But hey, at least you're havin' fun

In all seriousness, I do think it's really important to hold people accountable for their mistakes

Um, y'know, we should hope that everyone can learn from their mistakes

And grow, and change their behavior, and be a better person

This is something that I've always tried to do when I make mistakes

And is something that I will continue to try t- what?

Oh, you don't care? Oh, okay

I thought you wanted me to take accountability

But that's not the point of your mob mentality, is it? No

Your goal is to ruin the life of the person you despise

While you dramatize your lies and monetize their demise

Yeah, um, I feel like I can already hear the comments on this video

"She's gaslighting, manipulating!"

"Ugh, she's a narcissist and a rat!"

"I would never make a mistake like that."

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize

That all of you are perfect, so please, criticize me

Bring out the daggers made from your perfect past

And stab me repeatedly in my bony little back

I'm sure you're disappointed in my shitty little song

I know that you wanted me to say that I was 100% in the wrong

Well, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna take that route

Of admitting to lies and rumors that you made up for clout

"Hey everybody, I found someone new to harass

She did some things that I do not like, in her past

So everybody, gather 'round, 'cause we're about to attack"

But not based on facts, oh no

Your loaded lethal weapon is your fingers on the keys

You don't need any armor when you can hide behind a screen

So, shoot me down, quick, with a click, and bam

My reputation's deceased

Uh, I also wanted to take a minute to talk about that girl, Miranda Sings

You know the one, yeah her

Uh, she's PG-13, it says that on my website

And it's always been that way

And that's why you won't find my videos on the YouTube Kids app

Anyway, um, I didn't realize it was my responsibility

To decide what was appropriate for every kid to see

I've always relied on parents to decide if they're comfortable

With their families watching my YouTube videos or coming to my live shows

Now, have I made some jokes in poor taste? Yes

Have I made lots of dumb mistakes? Yes

Am I sad that there's some fans that feel betrayed? Yes

But was my intention to manipulate? No

It doesn't really matter what my intention was

'Cause it seems as though everyone's already decided on that

Let me tell you, it's not very fun to have millions of people all over the world

Call you the most vile, horrendous, disgusting, life-ruining words

That a person can be called, in my opinion

Um, it doesn't matter that these things aren't true

Uh, everyone just believes that you are the type of person who manipulates and abuses children

So, I just wanted to say that, um

The only thing that I've ever groomed is my two Persian cats

I'm not a groomer, I'm just a loser

Who didn't understand I shouldn't respond to fans

And I'm not a predator even though a lot of you think so

Because 5 years ago, I made a fart joke

So, even though I know this video won't change anyone's mind about me

I still felt it was important to come on here and defend myself a little

And take accountability

And I also wanted to say that

To anyone out there who has ever supported me in any capacity

I really, really appreciate you, thank you

For what it's worth, I never had any bad intentions

But I do feel like shit

The toxic gossip train

Chugging down the tracks of misinformation

Toxic gossip train

You got a one way ticket to manipulation station

Toxic gossip train

You tied me to the tracks and harassed me for my past

Rumors look like facts when you don't mind the gaps

I won't survive in the crash, but hey

Hope you had some fun

Actually, y'know, I feel like maybe I should let you guys know something, um

Seems like, maybe you're confused about something? I don't know

Let me try to help, um

Sometimes people make a mistake and it doesn't make them a horrible person, whoa

Sometimes people can make a mistake and they're still a good person

Crazy, I know

Sometimes people can make a mistake and you don't have to take that mistake, oh no

And twist it up, and grind it, and add some lies to it, and pulverize it

And stab it with knives, and ruin a life, and, oh no

Sometimes people can make a mistake, it doesn't mean you gotta send them hate, oh no

Sometimes people can make a mistake and you can kindly let them know, and help them to grow

Sometimes people make mistakes, simply because they made a mistake?

And that mistake doesn't make them a terrible human

It just makes them a human

But what do I know?

Fuck me, right?

WHY DID YOU SEND ME THSI LKFOSIDJFJ

[besana]

nemo's dream ; interview!

"pardon me! would you mind answering a few questions for nemo's dream?"

the voice stops sana in her tracks, her head turning left to look at the speaker, her eyes darting unsubtly around to confirm he's really talking to her. she tilts her head, taking just a moment to decide what to do.

she doesn't recognize the name beyond a vague familiarity, like someone she follows online is a fan of it, maybe. she may have been seeing the name plastered around here, too -- they must be sponsored by the event or something? who knows.

whatever. it's not like she's heard anything bad or weird about the show, and it could be fun. besides, the guy's got himself a nice shady spot here; it's nice to get a respite from the sun.

"sure!" she chirps as she steps over, a jaunt in her step and her hair swinging with the motion. "i'm izumi sana. if you could include my socials in the video, that'd be great!"

"of course!" the boy's energy, at least, is a mirror to sana's own. she's met a few people who gave her similar vibes, and now she either hates them or considers them a best friend, no in-between. so many things are that way with sana, it seems.

she supposes it's natural that his personality seems so similar to hers; after all, that kind of thing is something that's necessary to someone who, more than anything else, wants to be liked.

oops. she hasn't been listening to him talk at all. how long has he been waiting for her to answer? shit.

she tries to laugh it off, blinking a few times and raising a hand to rub the back of her head sheepishly. "i'm sorry, it's been a long day," she says, though it's mostly a lie. "i totally zoned out. could you repeat the question?"

"totally fine," the boy chuckles, waving a hand dismissively. sana fights the urge to scowl -- she would have done the exact same thing if their places were swapped, but she'd be thinking something entirely different. what is he thinking? it's tough to tell. "the sun is really harsh today, so it's good you're in the shade for a bit! the question was, what do you consider 'dating'?"

whoa, really weird topic choice there. sana has to fight to keep the shock off her face; he probably explained all this while she was zoned out, wasn't she? she paints a pensive expression on, but all of a sudden she just wants to get out of here, to find one of her friends that are surely taking advantage of the sales around here and bother them for a while, rather than discuss what feels suddenly strangely personal with a total stranger.

"hm...i guess it depends on the people involved," she says, going for a thoughtful tone and landing reasonably close to it -- close enough for a stranger, at least. "you need to think about and discuss what both of you want, then decide what to do from there together. it's all about communication!" she adds, a bit more pep coming back into her voice, though she can't even tell how genuine it is.

the boy doesn't waste any time, barely even noting her answer before he's moving on. jeez, how many times has he had this exact same conversation all day? no wonder he reminds her so much of herself.

"very interesting answer!" the boy announces, steamrolling once again over sana's introspection. she blinks past it, trying to force herself to focus. the quicker she answers his questions, the better it'll be for the both of them. "next question: do you think it's possible to have physical affection before you date someone?"

this one, at least, is easy. "of course it is! i'm physically affectionate with my friends all the time!" the cheer in her voice this time, at least, is at least partially genuine. "but i think it's important to consider what other people think, too. like, to me, physical affection like hugs or holding hands doesn't have to mean we're dating. it's just another way of telling each other we care about each other. but for other people, it might be different. it all comes back to communication, you know? you have to tell others how you feel, or they'll never know."

the boy nods eagerly, seemingly satisfied with her much more eloquent answer. shocked at herself, sana just blinks, unsure where exactly those words came from. the boy scrawls her information onto his clipboard, then bows politely to her.

relieved to finally be done with the sudden, weirdly draining conversation, sana bows back and hurries off, towards the bus stop where she promised to meet ria.

[timidtimbuktu]

Not that anyone asked, but here are my pro-stancy / anti-j*ncy thoughts:

Jonathan and Nancy love each other, but I think they are incompatible in a romantic relationship. They originally connected in seasons 1 and 2 because they were going through the same trauma and they misinterpreted that as compatibility and fell in love. But in seasons 3 and 4, when they are no longer in the shared trauma situation, they struggle in their relationship. They are not good at conflict resolution or communicating what they want and need from each other. Nancy is a very strong-willed person, and she tends to steamroll Jonathan and sometimes doesn't listen to his opinions. Jonathan avoids confrontation, which in season 3 festers until it erupts in a huge fight and then in season 4 leads him to lie to Nancy for months. The writers have spent two seasons demonstrating (to me) that Jonathan and Nancy do not effectively resolve conflicts, are bad at communicating when they are having issues, and don't know how to support each other emotionally outside of the trauma bond.

I think Jonathan needs to be with someone who is less confrontational, more patient, and more able to express their emotions than Nancy. He is a non-confrontational, quiet, sensitive man, and I genuinely think Nancy is too “type A” for him. 

I think Nancy should be with someone who is able to confront issues in the relationship head-on, who is emotionally available and outwardly loving even during hard times, and who can help her break out of her shell and enjoy life more (rather than just working all the time). I think season 4 Steve is that person.

And, finally, I think Nancy would be a great partner for Steve -- if she loves him back -- because she challenges his tendency to go with the status quo. Season 4 is the first time he's ever mentioned his own aspiration for the future (having a loving family that goes on adventures). He needs to keep growing that list of aspirations to include potential careers, ways to actually achieve his goals, etc. That change has to come from within him (and it already is) but I think Nancy inspires him to want more out of life.

[knivesareout]

marcus moreno sfw alphabet

About a week ago, @michaelperry messaged me and asked how I felt about collab’ing because she was having some soft Marcus feels and we’re always feeling soft about this man over here so now we have this! Hope y’all enjoy! Read it on AO3 here.

---

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

In both platonic and romantic relationships, Marcus is pretty affectionate. Whether he’s touching your arm reassuringly or offering an ear to listen to your problems, he wants to show you that he loves and cares for you. He sees it very much as coming out of his role as a leader—perhaps he can’t always be the one to fix things for you, but he’s intent on always showing that he supports you. And to his mind, affection is support.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Friendships with Marcus would probably start out by sharing mutual interests, but he’s also definitely built some relationships out of little things: one-off jokes, being the only two people not in a conversation at a party, things like that. There’s an ease to Marcus that makes it easy to turn those moments of camaraderie into real friendship.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Marcus is a cuddler, through and through. It’s comforting and warm and gives him a sense of security and peace. A morning cuddle before getting up, one before falling asleep and anytime he can get his arms around you and just hold you. He’s an arms wrapped tightly, nose buried wherever he can find your skin kind of cuddler. And though Missy is grown, he’ll still find her laying her head on his chest and squeezing him tight.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Marcus is the definition of domestic. Look it up in the dictionary and a picture of this man will be there beside it. Settling down is always something on his mind since his wife passed, craving the routine and feeling of sharing his life with someone. He cooks, cleans, and does laundry like a damn champ: sorting everyone’s clothes by colors and fabrics. He has his bedtime routine down to a science and loves seeing your toothbrush next to his when you finally take that next step.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If your relationship with Marcus necessitates an actual break-up, things have gotten serious. Lives merging even if there aren’t rings on fingers sort of serious. So because he takes his serious relationships… seriously, he’ll tell you if he starts to feel like the relationship is going downhill. The two of you will be sharing a quiet night in and he’ll just open up and admit that he feels like things aren’t working as well as they used to.

Because of that, though, if he were trying to end things, you’d… know already. Either because things wouldn’t have gotten better, or because perhaps they got worse. And so it is that things would go out not with a bang, but with a whimper—him kinda sadly looking at you across the kitchen one morning and you being like, “Yeah, you’re right.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marcus is in it to win it when he finds the right one. He hates the idea of wasting his time, your time, when he just knows. The idea of commitment only phases him in the way that he worries for Missy’s sake but he trusts that if something didn’t feel right, she would tell him. Marcus proposes after 6 months but gives you plenty of time to just be engaged, the ring on your finger being enough to tide him over because every time he sees it, he knows you’re his.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Let’s say that Marcus is gently assertive. Emotionally, he’s not going to steamroll you, but he always wants to make sure you know where he stands. To some degree, he feels like holding back too much is akin to lying, so he’s unafraid to say hard things even knowing that they might knock you over.

He’s plenty assertive physically, too, because in case it’s not clear from his love of cuddling, Marcus loves touch. But as a strange side effect of the Heroics, he’s particularly aware of how he’s touching when he’s not on the job. He’s careful about not wanting to get too intense (unless you want him to).

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Marcus loves hugs. He loves the simple intimacy of them—from a quick goodbye hug to something more emotional where you just collapse against his chest after a long day. And there is nothing like a hug from Marcus. His strong arms and broad chest envelop you in the safest, most comforting way. He’s warm without being hot, soft but sturdy. He can just tell when you need one too, holding his arms out when you give him a simple look.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

When Marcus knows, he knows. It only takes Marcus a few months to know—after he’s spilled every possible dark, terrible secret he has and you don’t look at him any differently. When he introduces you to Missy and though there’s a bit of hesitation at first, you two catch on like wildfire after the initial awkwardness. It’s when he can see how well you fit into his family, how easy it would be for him to make room in his life for you and he realizes he already has.

He says it after a typical night for the three of you, dinner and a movie that Missy’s picked out because it was her turn. After he’s tucked her into bed and comes down to find you putting on your shoes to head home. He tilts your chin up and says the words so easily, like he’s said them a million times before (and he has, over and over in his head when he looks at you) and asks you to stay.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Because touch is so important to him as a way of expressing his affection and desire for you, Marcus’s jealousy might get stirred a bit when he sees someone put their arms around you or a hand on your shoulder. He’s secure enough in your relationship that he doesn’t see things as a real threat, but yeah, he might let out a low, warning growl and pull you close, maybe kiss you on the cheek.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Marcus is soft and gentle at first, his lips a little chapped. He can’t bother to remember to pack chapstick with him because he’s busy.

He likes to kiss the spot under your ear that makes you shiver, then across your cheek to find your lips. It’s easy to lose yourself in his kisses, passionate and all consuming.

Marcus likes to be kissed right below the hollow of his throat, where a small freckle sits and he’s just a little bit more sensitive there than any other place above his shoulders.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Marcus is great with kids and always has been. He's gentle and patient with them, loves listening to their over the top stories full of gibberish and makes sure to nod in all the right places. Babies quiet their tears when he holds them because his hands are just comforting and strong, making them feel safe. When Missy came into his life, he was wrapped around her finger and she was a total daddy’s girl, reaching for him more than anyone.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Marcus wakes with the early dawn, liking to get in a run before he starts his day. He’s always downstairs before you are, freshly showered and drinking his morning cup of coffee with the paper. He can take a slow morning from time to time but you’re usually shoving him out of bed after 30 minutes or so, his fidgeting annoying. You don’t complain when he pulls you into the shower with him when you can’t manage to fall back asleep.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are often unpredictable because Marcus’s days are unpredictable: the Heroics aren’t really dictated by “weekday” vs. “weekend.” Some days probably don’t look much different than an office job, but some days he’s having to do big important saving the world things. So the tone of your evening is often spontaneous, with the general sentiment of, “Oh, you didn’t have to save the world today? Hmm maybe we should go out for dinner or a movie.”

That said, finding time of any sort together can be difficult, so the two of you are often content to stay in and just keep things low key. Really enjoy each other’s company.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

You can expect a pretty steady stream of vulnerability from Marcus in the early stages of your relationship in particular. He won’t unload all of his baggage on you, certainly not at once, but he absolutely wants to share everything with you, and in his mind, being open about himself is crucial to showing how serious he is about you. The first cue that he wants you to really know him comes when he opens up about being a widower. It’s difficult, it’s personal and intimate to Marcus, but he also sees it as being inevitably impactful on your relationship, so he feels you need to know. Those are the sorts of things he wants to make sure to share sooner rather than later.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Marcus Moreno? Legendary leader of a group of superheroes? He’s developed a very cool head from conflict mediation that carries over into most arguments or scenarios where his anger might be provoked.

But all of this goes out the window when Missy is involved. If Missy’s in danger, Marcus immediately jumps into protective dad mode, and his anger comes out full-force in an instant.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Marcus is pretty detail-oriented in general, so he’s great at remembering things about you, but he especially internalizes things you share in moments of real vulnerability or while seeking out his advice. He wants to be able to check in about it later, or remember details so that when you bring them up again, he’s immediately on the same page.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It’s easy for Marcus to remember the first time he really thought, “Wow, this is it. I want this.”

It was a spontaneous trip to the science museum downtown, you mentioning it off hand the night before after seeing a flyer up in the grocery store and Marcus booking the tickets before falling asleep. There was a science fair at school that Missy was dithering over whether or not to apply for and you figured a trip to the museum would give her that final push.

It was about half way through the museum when Marcus had realized he’d lost the two of you and he went searching through a few rooms when he found the both of you, bent over a robot and chatting about it excitedly. He watched you pull Missy into your side, squeezing her tight, and that’s when he knew.

Later that night, when you’re both nestled in bed with your head on his chest, you tell him Missy decided to sign up for the science fair.

He buys a ring the next day.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Especially in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, Marcus goes on high-alert whenever you’re in a context that could even possibly be read as dangerous: even out at bars, he’s keeping an eye out for bad guys who might try to hit on you, not really as a jealousy thing but because he wants you to be safe. And God forbid you end up in possible danger because of a threat the Heroics are dealing with; as much as he doesn’t want to, he can’t help fretting over you in particular.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Marcus likes to keep things casual unless it’s a special occasion and then he’s pulling out all stops: hotel booked, dinner reservations and a night all about you.

He definitely tries to lessen the burden of everyday tasks for you, or as much as he can manage while still juggling work. He makes sure he’s still pulling his weight and not leaving them to you just because you’re less busy.

Marcus is a random gift giver: I saw this and thought of you kind of gifts are his specialty, and they are always something that’ll make you less stressed. Like, when he overheard you complaining about the lack of storage in the pantry and the next day there was a box full of acrylic storage containers shipped to the house with a note attached that read, “Until I can build you something better, I hope these help.”

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

There are a few bad habits of Marcus’s that drive you wild (like leaving the toilet seat up when he’s in a hurry or the sink covered in his beard trimmings when he forgets to lay a towel down), but the absolute worst is when he clips his toenails and leaves the clippings wherever they land.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Marcus doesn’t really care what the average person on the street thinks of him, but he cares very much what Missy thinks, and also what you think. With Missy, it’s more that sometimes he enjoys messing with her, just a little bit. Wearing a tacky pair of shoes or a goofy t-shirt if he knows that she’s in a good enough mood to just be giggly and embarrassed about it. You, on the other hand… Well. He wants you to be into him in every way, so he cares. Of course he does.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

When Marcus became a widower, Missy became his “other half.” He put so much love into her, wanting her to feel safe and supported after their shared loss, and part of that is because he did feel like his wife made him whole. At a time when everything was hard, when he easily could have felt incomplete, being there for Missy meant everything. That was where he allowed himself to feel whole.

But after feeling that ache and that loss for a while, he does start to give himself permission to look for a new kind of wholeness, because while he’s been able to be there for Missy, obviously he needs someone who could support him so completely. And it’s hard and maybe a little frightening at first, when he starts to find that in you, but he also knows that he can’t live scared about really, truly loving again even if that could mean also feeling incomplete again later. Even if he might feel incomplete without you… well. Instead he’ll lean into how fucking much he loves feeling whole with you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Introducing you to his mother is just as big a step for Marcus as sharing you with Missy for the first time. And look, it’s… honestly, it could have gone better. The two of you had to rush over because Marcus got held up saving the world, and he figured that Anita would understand since obviously she was a part of the Heroics too, in her own way. But wow, was it rough. She was short with you both and whenever you spoke, her responses were short and abrupt. Marcus left that night incredibly perplexed, swearing that wasn’t anything like her.

You had suspicions to the contrary, which are confirmed a few weeks later over your fourth dinner together. Marcus and Missy go into the kitchen together to get dessert sorted, and Anita leans her elbows sternly on the table to ask whether you see things with Marcus as permanent. Besides Marcus, she’s the first person who knows the answer is yes.

The two of you get along wonderfully, after that.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Marcus isn’t into big, outward displays of physical affection. He doesn’t mind a kiss to the cheek or a hand around the waist but he detests seeing people make out in public and it makes you laugh every time he sees it happen when you’re out, wrinkling his nose and turning away.

Also big on personal hygiene, he’s big on his morning showers after his run. He’s overly aware of his own body odor, and others’, and likes to make sure he smells good (which he does). It, in turn, makes you more alert to your own so more often than not, you’ll jump in the shower with him just to make sure.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Marcus does the morning crossword puzzle from the paper every night in bed, glasses perched low on his nose while you read a book next to him. He sleeps on the right and you sleep on the left. He has to have the ceiling fan running and the temperature set to 65 or lower to be able to sleep comfortably since he runs warm.

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

Bryan Kneef:  Tongue Tied

Word Count:  2795

TW:  Smut (Oral, f!receiving).  18+ only.

AN:  Part one of a three part series:  Part Two, Part Three

The cocktail hour had ended, and the guests were just being sat for dinner when you entered the room.  The flurry of activity near the doorway – the shedding of your winterwear, the air kisses between you and the hostess – drew everyone’s eye.

It drew Bryan Kneef’s eye too.

It was another stale dinner party between Chicago’s upper echelon – titans of industry and their lawyers, financiers and bankers and their wives or mistresses.  It was hard to complain when the food and drink were exemplary, but the conversation always circled around to the same boring topics, the same old gossip.

But you – in your simple black frock and single strand of pearls, like some 1950’s starlet – you were a breath of fresh air.  You were younger than everyone else there, but it was hard to say by how much.  You lacked the taut face and overblown lips of the other women who had work done regularly.  Your eyes swept the room with frank interest instead of the usual guarded, predatory gleam that the other women had.

Bryan had never seen you at one of these dinners before, and his ears strained to pick up the low conversation between you and the hostess.

“I’m sorry I’m so late,” you told her with a rueful smile.  “I’m still getting used to the time zone change.”

“Don’t mention it,” the hostess replied.  “We are only just sitting for dinner service.”  She linked her arm through yours, polished manners on show, and led you into the dining room where everyone was waiting.  She walked you over to your seat – beside Bryan’s – and introduced you to first to the man who was sitting on your left, a vice president with Boeing.  Bryan watched as you shook hands, exchanged pleasantries.

When the hostess turned to introduce you to Bryan, he caught the way your smile calcified for a moment before it cooled altogether.  

“Yes, we’ve met before,” you said evenly, and judging by how you dropped his handshake the moment the hostess left you, Bryan knew it hadn’t been a pleasant meeting.

Through the first course of duck confit, Bryan wracked his brain but couldn’t remember meeting you before.  It hadn’t just been a meeting, obviously, based on your reaction to him.  Had you hooked up in the past?  He thought he’d remember, but maybe you’d been a one-night stand in his younger years, when he could barely handle his alcohol, let alone the other recreational party favors that got passed around in his circle back then.

Not that you gave him any clues – you were turned half a degree in your chair, away from him, and you chatted amicably with the man to your left and the couple across the table from you.  Your dual conversations gave no clues either.  You only conversed about the Chicago weather, the incoming snow storm from across the lake.

Bryan wasn’t a patient man, and puzzles irked him, so when the hired help was bussing away the dishes from the first course, he cleared his throat and tapped on your wrist to get your attention.  You turned and fixed him with an impassive look.

“You said we’ve met before,” he started, but he didn’t finish the sentence.  You already knew what he was going to say, and it made your smile, your white teeth gleaming in the low light of the candles.

“You don’t remember me.”

Bryan shook his head.  The low roar of conversation around the table died down as people turned to listen to the two of you.  Great, he thought.  Another example of Bryan Kneef, chief asshole of the Great Lakes.  There were a million examples, of course:  the clients and coworkers alike that he steamrolled at work, the friends he used, the hired help he snidely talked down to.  

And the women, of course.  All of the women, a long line starting with his middle school girlfriend and ending with his latest dalliance, a chilly trust-fund brat who told him she could do much better and had, in fact, done much better with the Brazilian polo player she was now with.

“Pathways?” you added helpfully, but he shook his head again.  Was that a club?  He hadn’t been much into the club scene, but he had tailed along with friends plenty of times to pick up a woman for the night.

Here, you noticed the attention of the other dinner goers, so you turned away to address everyone.  “Pathways was the mentoring program at my university,” you told them.  “Mr. Kneef and I went to the same school.”  A pause.  “Different years, obviously.”

That drew some titters as the second course was served, and you spooned the consommé and filled them in – including Bryan, who started to remember a little – as you ate.

“It was designed to help law students make connections with real-life lawyers.  Someone to ask questions.  I was assigned to a Mr. Kneef.”  You turned and glanced at him before continuing.  “He was…less than helpful as a mentor.”

The host was already chuckling.  “What’d you do, Bryan?”

You answered for him.  “We met exactly one time, and I was the one who had to run him down to meet.  I had a whole page of questions for him, but he gave me one look and basically dismissed me.”

Bryan remembered it vaguely.  He had been talked into the stupid Pathways program in a rare fit of nostalgia for college, and when he sobered up, he found an email from you.  Some bright young thing, looking to set the world on fire with her legal genius.  He had ignored the email – and all the ones that came after – until he found an appointment with you on his calendar one afternoon.  You had done an end-run around him and gone straight to his secretary.

He remembered that meeting – you sitting in his office, waiting for him in one of those off-the-rack suits that undergraduates always had for interviews.  You had looked so painfully young – you still had braces, for Christ’s sake – but he had been irritated by your tenacity.  Like a fucking burr that couldn’t take the hint that he wasn’t interested.

“What did he do?” asked the hostess now.  “Did he read you the riot act or just throw you out?”

You turned to look at him when you answered her.  “He said, ‘this work will hand your ass to you, sweetheart,’” you said.  “And then he told me not to worry about it, because once I got my braces off, I could probably find some guy who’d take care of me anyway.”

The host gave a low whistle of appreciation at the story while everyone else laughed – just another story of Bryan being an asshole – but you only gave him a smile without warmth and turned back to the table.

-----

The rest of dinner passed, and Bryan held his tongue and only listened.  As a new face at the table, everyone was focused on you.  Bryan found out that, despite his non-existent mentorship – you had indeed gone on to be a lawyer.  You worked in France with the Court of European Rights, a human rights lawyer.  Setting the world on fire with your legal genius indeed.

It wasn’t the first time he’d been chastened for his poor behavior.  He knew he was an asshole, and sometimes he tried to not be.  Mostly he didn’t care that much what people thought about him, but in cases like this, he fully recognized that a little tact would have gone a lot further than being a dick.

Because you were appealing.  You weren’t the painfully earnest young girl that had bulldozed her way into a meeting with him all those years ago, though he could see shades of her still.  Now you were fully grown, fully realized.  A bright spot beside him as you shifted smoothly from subject to subject, from the case you were working on the Beneš decrees, to skiing at the Alpe d’Huez, to the books you read on your transcontinental flights.  You turned, from time to time, to gift him with that small smile out of politeness, but it was the occasional, accidental brushes of your arm against his that stoked a low-burning fire in him.

After dinner, as everyone dispersed to the study for drinks, you pulled your hostess aside.

“I heard a rumor that you have an original Baziotes,” you murmured, but Bryan still caught your words.  “I was hoping I could see it?”

The hostess did her practiced laugh and started to take your arm, but some disaster in the kitchen pulled her away.  She caught Bryan’s eye before she went to commandeer the kitchen.

“Bry, you know the oil painting in the library?  Could you be a dear and show her?”

-----

The library was on the other side of the house, so it was quiet.  Aside from the ticking of the antique clock over the mantle, there was no noise.  You stood in front of the abstract canvas and peered at it, and Bryan stood back and looked you over.

The black dress belied your form, but Bryan could guess at some of it.  The swell of your bodice hinted at some fantastic tits, and the skirt – belled out a little – hinted at a nice ass.  You smelled nice too, the scent of you lodged in his nose from dinner, tormenting him a little with its subtle muskiness under the usual florals.  

“I’m not going to apologize to you,” he finally said, and you straightened up and turned to look at him.  

“I wouldn’t expect you to.  That’s not really your M.O., is it?”

Bryan snorted and watched as you made your way around the library, trailing a lone finger along the spines of the expensive first editions that the host would never read.

“How do you know my M.O.?” he asked.

That made you snort, and you turned to face him.  “I know your type.”

“My type?”

“From Chicago to Strasbourg, you’re all the same, really.”

Bryan might not know you, but he knew the verbal parrying of foreplay when he heard it.  He took slow, purposeful steps towards you, and he noted the way you watched him, your gaze heavy.

“I’m not like anyone you’ve ever met,” he said confidently, his voice low.

“I have met you,” you pointed out.  “You were condescending and rude.”

“Some women like that.”  He stood in front of you, nearly pinning you against the walnut panels of the wall.  Your eyes studied his face and your carefully cool smile had been replaced by a slight smirk.  

“Some women,” you agreed.  “But not all.  It’s a little played out, the asshole lawyer cliché, don’t you think?”

Bryan leaned forward, his face inches from yours.  “What do other women like then?” he asked, and he caught your widening smirk a moment before you leaned forward to kiss him.  Hard.  There was no hesitancy or teasing little pecks first – you pressed your mouth to his, then nipped at his lower lip until he opened his mouth.  Then you slid your tongue into his mouth, pulling his breath from him until all he could focus on was the taste of you.

Bryan wound one arm around your waist to tug your body against his growing erection, and his other hand snaked up to reach into the bodice of your dress, massaging first one tit and then the other, tweaking your diamond-hard nipples.  You gave breathless little huff against his mouth when he did, and he grinned to hear it.  You were just like other women after all.

Or maybe not.  When he tried to turn you, navigate you to the leather sofa by the fireplace, you remained stubbornly unyielding.  And when he broke the kiss, frustrated by your lack of compliance, he caught that smirk again.  And felt your hands on his shoulders, pushing him downwards.

Oh.

Bryan wasn’t above that, and if going down on you is what it would take to fuck you, he would happily oblige.  He allowed himself to be pushed onto his knees, playing along, and he reached out to push your skirt up around your waist.  You were wearing miniscule black panties, and he smirked as he peeled them off of your form to reveal your glistening cunt to him.  He palmed your panties, tucked them into his suit jacket, and leaned in to get to work.

Bryan had a pattern he usually employed.  He parted your lips to reveal your bundle of nerves, already swollen with arousal, and he took a deep breath to relish the scent of your arousal.  But Christ, you were pushy:  a second later, he felt you wind your fingers through his hair to push him against you, tugging his hair, steering his face.  

Using him.

It wouldn’t occur to him until later, of course, that you were using him.  In the moment, he was too lust-drunk to see it for what it was.  In the moment, surrounded by the scent and taste of you, his own erection straining his pants as he lapped at your sex, Bryan didn’t do much higher thinking.  You were already wet when he started, and as he ate you out, you only got wetter.  He plunged his tongue into your heat as much as he could, then replaced it with his fingers, scissoring and stretching your tight channel in preparation for him.  His tongue worked against your clit, circling it and massaging it as you keened above him.

You didn’t push him away like some women did, embarrassed by their own bodies.  You didn’t fake your orgasm either.  You held his head against your feverish flesh, pulled his hair right to the edge of pain to redirect his efforts.  Bryan had never eaten out such a demanding partner, but he was rewarded when you finally did come:  a breathy moan above him, and the rush of your arousal that soaked his plunging fingers and busy tongue.  He smirked against you, palmed his own cock through his pants as he licked you through it, cleaned you up from the mess he had made of you.

When you had recovered, Bryan went over to the leather sofa.  He unbuckled his pants, pushed them and his underwear down in one movement.  His cock sprang free, curving against the soft swell of his belly, and he noted how your eyes widened a bit at it.  He sat down and patted his lap.

“C’mere,” he growled.

You walked over to him, and you straddled his lap.  You didn’t lower yourself though.  He could feel your cunt like a ghostly presence, and his hips surged forward fruitlessly, looking for some friction, looking to catch at your entrance and plunge into your heat.

You only leaned forward and kissed him deeply, and by the little groan you gave, he knew you could take yourself on him.  He was surrounded by the scent of your arousal – it had soaked his beard, after all – and you smiled down at him when you broke the kiss.

Bryan put his hands on your hips, tried to push you down onto his cock.  You were strong, though, and resisted it.  When he gave a growl of dissatisfaction, your smile widened, and you shifted your head to whisper in his ear.

“This work will hand your ass to you, sweetheart,” you murmured, “but keep working at it.  You’ll get there soon enough.”

And then you were climbing off of him, smoothing down your skirt, and walking away from him.  Bryan barely even registered it until the door of the library clicked shut behind your retreating form – for the first time in his life, he’d been left hanging, his dick literally in his hand.  You’d gotten your pleasure, used him to get off, and just…walked away from him.

“Fuck,” he muttered.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

It took him a long while to pull himself back together:  his cock was a long time in deflating, and he had to duck into a powder room to wash his face from the lingering scent of your tryst.  When he rejoined the party in the study, you were standing near the fireplace and chatting with the hostess again.  You looked cool and collected.

Aside from the small wink you dropped him, it was like nothing had happened at all.  

It wasn’t until he got home – alone, of course, and in that headspace of furious and horny – that he slipped his hand into his jacket and found your forgotten panties.

Bryan Kneef was no gentleman, and he was frankly an abrasive asshole.  Still, it would be the gentlemanly thing to do to return them to you…you were fellow alums, after all, and as your erstwhile mentor, he owed you one.

[bloody-bee-tea]

Hi! I love every one of your xicheng that I could read, and if I could ask for a continuation of "Stream" I'd love it So Much. Pleaseee?

BeeTober 2020 Day 14

Umbrella - Savor

So, fun fact, I never intended to write a second part of Stream, but here you go anyway <3 !

They are taking it slow. They are taking it so slow that Jiang Cheng isn’t even sure he can call Lan Xichen his boyfriend yet, even though they go on dates two or more times a week.

But Lan Xichen is incredibly understanding and accepting of Jiang Cheng’s slow pace and always gives him a choice, especially when it comes to physical contact.

He always offers; a hand on the table, a lifted arm for Jiang Cheng to slide under, his face for a greeting kiss, but he always makes sure that it’s Jiang Cheng’s decision.

Jiang Cheng would mind it, would think that Lan Xichen doesn’t actually want to do any of those things with Jiang Cheng, if it weren’t for the entirely adorable way his entire being seems to light up whenever Jiang Cheng accepts the offered contact.

The first time Jiang Cheng has kissed him on the lips in greeting, he feared Lan Xichen would set something on fire, he was beaming that much.

“You’re thinking,” Lan Xichen suddenly says and reaches over the table to flick Jiang Cheng’s forehead. “Good or bad?”

It’s something else Jiang Cheng has noticed; Lan Xichen likes to check in on him like that in regular intervals, always makes sure that this is still what Jiang Cheng wants and sometimes Jiang Cheng really has to fight the urge to straight up jump Lan Xichen.

He knows that Lan Xichen wouldn’t mind, would actually welcome it, but Jiang Cheng isn’t yet ready to propel their relationship forward like that.

“I think good?” Jiang Cheng tries, even though he’s hesitant to voice his thoughts.

“Want to share?” Lan Xichen asks and puts his hand on the table, a clear offer for Jiang Cheng to take it.

Lan Xichen has picked up on the fact that Jiang Cheng sometimes does better when he can hold Lan Xichen’s hand, or when he can snuggle into his side, and he never hesitates to offer that comfort to Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng reaches out to take Lan Xichen’s hand without hesitation and threads their fingers together.

He takes a moment to simply breathe before he looks at Lan Xichen again.

“You’re my—I mean, when I talk about you, I can say that you’re my boyfriend, right?” Jiang Cheng asks, mostly to confirm it for himself, and not because he is still doubting everything he has with Lan Xichen, and Lan Xichen seems to know it, because he smiles softly at him.

“Of course I am, my heart. I hoped that was clear.”

Jiang Cheng blushes with the use of that endearment, like he always does, and then nods.

“It was. It is. I just wanted to be sure,” he agrees and Lan Xichen lifts their hands to press a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s knuckles.

There are still days where Jiang Cheng spirals; where he’s convinced that he’s the worst thing to ever happen to Lan Xichen, but Lan Xichen never gives him that feeling, and Wei Wuxian is always there to catch him when it happens, too.

Jiang Cheng has to admit that being open with his thoughts and feelings has been a great help.

“Then be very sure of this,” Lan Xichen tells him and Jiang Cheng smiles at him and nods.

They enjoy the rest of their date, right until Jiang Cheng’s phone rings.

“It’s Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng says, right before he accepts the call and when his brother doesn’t immediately start to yell into his ear, he knows that something is wrong.

“What is it?” Jiang Cheng asks, and immediately a frown appears on Lan Xichen’s face.

He must be worried that something happened to Lan Wangji.

“I’m really sorry,” Wei Wuxian starts with and Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops.

“For what?” Jiang Cheng presses out, but he knows that voice.

It’s Wei Wuxian’s ‘your mother was here and now I feel worthless again’-voice and Jiang Cheng would be content with his life if he never had to hear it again.

Lan Xichen seems to realize that something is definitely wrong, because he abandons his own seat to come over to Jiang Cheng’s side, so he can press close into Lan Xichen’s side.

“Madam Yu was here,” Wei Wuxian confirms Jiang Cheng’s fears and he closes his eyes.

“What did she say?” Jiang Cheng asks and transfers the phone to his other ear, so Lan Xichen can listen as well.

Wei Wuxian knows that Jiang Cheng keeps nothing from Lan Xichen, not anymore, and he also knows that they are on a date right now.

“I think she just stopped by to remind me that I am the disgrace of the family,” Wei Wuxian starts, but Jiang Cheng knows that that isn’t all, because otherwise Wei Wuxian wouldn’t have called and instead waited until Jiang Cheng comes home.

“You’re not,” Jiang Cheng says, almost on reflex, and Wei Wuxian lets out a humorless laugh.

“Yeah, doesn’t matter,” he mumbles. “She saw the picture,” he then says, and Jiang Cheng immediately knows which picture.

He just recently put it up, of him and Lan Xichen on their date to the amusement park, and of course his mother would immediately see it.

“Fuck,” Jiang Cheng mutters and Lan Xichen squeezes him.

He knows which picture, because he was the one who chose it.

“She’s furious that you weren’t the one to tell her and you and Lan Xichen are ordered to come to dinner tonight. I’m really sorry,” Wei Wuxian says again, as if it was his fault that Jiang Cheng’s mother completely steamrolled him.

“Ordered,” Lan Xichen repeats, and Jiang Cheng grimaces at him.

“I’m really sorry, Xichen-ge, but there was nothing I could do,” Wei Wuxian says and Lan Xichen carefully plucks the phone out of Jiang Cheng’s hand.

“It’s not your fault,” Lan Xichen says, but his eyes are on Jiang Cheng. “I had to meet the family at some point.”

“You met the important part,” Jiang Cheng immediately says, because Lan Xichen has met Jiang Yanli, and really, that is the only family Jiang Cheng cares about. Besides Wei Wuxian of course, but Lan Xichen knew him already.

“You met my uncle,” Lan Xichen reminds him, and Jiang Cheng flushes with just the memory.

He will never understand how Lan Qiren can actually hold him in high regards and that he’s proud of Lan Xichen for having ‘such an amazing boyfriend’. It almost felt like an out of body experience to Jiang Cheng.

“Your uncle was easy,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and takes his phone back from Lan Xichen. “Do you want me to come home?” he asks Wei Wuxian, because he knows he is still shaken and Lan Wangji is out of town at the moment.

There’s a very long silence on the other end, one that tells Jiang Cheng that the answer is yes, but then Wei Wuxian says “No”.

“Bullshit,” Jiang Cheng snaps and sends an apologetic look at Lan Xichen, who is already reaching for his porte-monnaie.

“I’ll be home in twenty,” Jiang Cheng informs him.

“You don’t have to cut your date with Xichen-ge short,” Wei Wuxian whines, but it’s half heartedly at best and Jiang Cheng isn’t even listening to him anymore.

“You better be on the couch when I get home,” Jiang Cheng says, as Lan Xichen hands him his coat.

“You’re so mean to me,” Wei Wuxian complains, but Jiang Cheng knows that he has won. “I love you,” Wei Wuxian tacks on, voice quiet and Jiang Cheng smiles slightly.

“I love you, too. Now let me go, so Xichen can drive me home.”

“Fine,” Wei Wuxian sighs and then hangs up without another word.

“I’m really sorry about this. About all of this,” Jiang Cheng says to Lan Xichen, who lifts his arm, to invite Jiang Cheng into a hug.

Jiang Cheng steps into his space without hesitation.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Family first.”

“Not the one you’re meeting tonight,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and then buries his face in Lan Xichen’s sweater.

“Please don’t think less of me after tonight,” he mutters, and he squeezes his eyes shut when Lan Xichen presses a kiss to the top of his head.

“I could never, my heart,” Lan Xichen says confidently.

Jiang Cheng doubts that; he knows his mother alone is very hard to take, but when his father is there as well, it’s likely to be an absolute shit show. And Jiang Cheng fears that it will be too much for Lan Xichen; that he will hear things about Jiang Cheng he can’ stomach, which will only end in him leaving.

Jiang Cheng isn’t sure if he could still take that.

“You don’t have to ask for hugs, or when you want to hold my hand. Or when you want to kiss me. You can just do those things,” Jiang Cheng says apropos of nothing, because he wants Lan Xichen to take the physical contact he wants as well, at least for today.

Jiang Cheng is not sure there will be much more after this.

“Okay,” Lan Xichen agrees and immediately tilts Jiang Cheng’s head up to press a kiss to his lips. “But only as long as you are really comfortable with that.”

“I am,” Jiang Cheng agrees and presses up to get another kiss.

They get lost in that for a few moments, before the thought of Wei Wuxian alone on their couch gets too much for Jiang Cheng and he drags Lan Xichen away.

~*~*~

Jing Cheng really wishes that Lan Xichen would be less perfect, because then he could have had the afternoon to convince himself that maybe this dinner will work out.

But instead Lan Xichen stayed the whole afternoon with Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian—unobtrusively in the back, occupying himself in Jiang Cheng’s room while he and Wei Wuxian were watching a movie, cuddling on the couch—and never complained even once.

It makes Jiang Cheng’s heart beat fast to think about how right it had felt that Lan Xichen was there with them, but he tries to push that thought away.

He’s still convinced that after this evening there won’t be many more of those moments, because Lan Xichen will realize what a grave mistake he made in dating Jiang Cheng and he will leave him.

Not in a mean way—Jiang Cheng doubts Lan Xichen can even be mean—but it will hurt nonetheless.

“You’re thinking again, and this time it’s bad thoughts,” Lan Xichen accuses him and Jiang Cheng sends him a small smile.

Lan Xichen is right, but he’s not going to admit to that. Instead, Jiang Cheng keeps his eyes trained on him, tries to savour the fact that for now he’s allowed to look. And when he remembers that he’s also allowed to touch, he reaches out to take Lan Xichen’s hand in his.

“I’m driving, my heart,” Lan Xichen gently reminds him but Jiang Cheng pouts at him.

“You don’t need your hand right now. I’ll give it back if you need to shift.”

“You better,” Lan Xichen replies, not turning his eyes away from the road and Jiang Cheng wonders if he imagines what dinner will be like.

Jiang Cheng knows from experience that no amount of imagination could prepare him for what is about to happen.

They spend the rest of the drive in silence and they arrive at Jiang Cheng’s parent’s house sooner than he would have liked, if he’s being honest.

He wouldn’t have minded driving with Lan Xichen for eternity.

“I am really sorry for what is about to happen,” Jiang Cheng says, just as he’s about to take his hand back, but Lan Xichen presses a kiss to the back of it before he allows Jiang Cheng to have it back.

“It can’t be that bad, and besides. It’s not your fault, no matter what happens. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jiang Cheng says, voice already choked up, because he knows that won’t be true for much longer.

His mother especially has a way to hit where it hurts, and she knows all of Jiang Cheng’s soft spots. And she has never been afraid of using them.

Lan Xichen sends him an encouraging smile and then they are already ringing at the door. Jiang Cheng might have lost some time to his panic, because next thing he knows they are already sitting at the table; his parents, Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng himself.

Jiang Cheng knows what will happen before Jiang Fengmian even opens his mouth.

“Did you not bring Wei Wuxian?” he asks and Jiang Cheng attempts a smile for him.

“He was busy, this evening,” he says, and tries very hard not to think about the still shaken form he left bundled up in a blanket on the couch.

“What could he possibly have to do,” Madam Yu scoffs and Jiang Cheng closes his eyes, because he hoped to get at least past the first course before his parents started with this.

He tries to tune them out as best as he can; he knows his input is neither required nor wished for and so he listlessly moves the food around on his plate.

Sometime around the five minute marks of his parents fighting about Wei Wuxian Lan Xichen moves his hand to Jiang Cheng’s thigh to lightly squeeze it and while Jiang Cheng knows it’s only meant to show his support, the shame burns hot in his gut.

He hates that Lan Xichen has to see how worthless Jiang Cheng is in his parent’s eyes.

The longer the fight takes, the more tense Lan Xichen gets and Jiang Cheng has to swallow hard to keep his composure.

He wonders what Lan Xichen must think of him, now that he sees that Wei Wuxian is so much more important to either of his parents, be it in a good or bad way.

“Mom, dad,” Jiang Cheng finally tries when it all becomes too much for him. “Please,” he reminds them with a look at Lan Xichen, and he realizes his mistake just a second too late.

He hates that particular glint in his mother’s eyes.

“So, Lan Xichen,” she starts, her voice suddenly saccharine sweet as if she hadn’t viciously ripped into her husband just a minute ago. “Tell me, what do you want with Jiang Cheng?”

“I—love him,” Lan Xichen hesitantly says, clearly taken aback by the wording of that question and it almost sounds more like a question than anything else.

Madam Yu’s eyes go hard at that, and Jiang Cheng can only duck his head, before she starts in on him.

Maybe she shouldn’t have reminded her that Lan Xichen is there. It would have been better, probably, because next thing he knows she’s listing all of his inadequacies. Every last single one of Jiang Cheng’s faults are being flung around, dragged into the open and his mother remembers some things even Jiang Cheng already forgot.

It was probably time she reminds him of those again, Jiang Cheng bitterly thinks.

Once his mother is done, once she said almost exactly what Jiang Cheng has said to Wei Wuxian all those months ago, she expectantly looks at Lan Xichen, as if she expects him to get up and walk away.

Jiang Cheng is honestly more surprised when it doesn’t immediately happen.

“How dare you,” Lan Xichen hisses and Jiang Cheng closes his eyes. “How dare you speak about your son like this? At least now I understand why he has all these insecurities that keep him from accepting happiness,” Lan Xichen says, and he sounds angry.

Jiang Cheng has never seen him angry before; even when he’s mad he keeps a tight smile on his lips and tries to solve it diplomatically, but right now Lan Xichen seems furious.

“Happiness,” Madam Yu scoffs. “He can be happy if he gets a good match at all. Content is what he should aim for, and he probably has to settle for less.”

“He will not have to settle for less,” Lan Xichen seethes. “I will make sure that he is as happy as he can be, and I will not allow you to further undermine his happiness.”

“Oh, right,” Madam Yu says. “And how are you going to make him happy? You’re just using him for his connections, better admit to that now, so we can all settle on an agreement.”

“I am here because I love him, and I will do anything to make him happy.”

“As if,” Madam Yu mutters and eyes Jiang Cheng as if she wants to figure out how he—the worthless, never good enough, too angry son—managed to snatch someone like Lan Xichen.

Jiang Cheng would like to know that as well.

“I would marry him tomorrow if it would make him happy,” Lan Xichen presses out and Jiang Cheng stands up so abruptly that his chair topples over.

“Don’t,” he says to Lan Xichen, avoiding his eyes, because he knows they are already brimming with tears, and then he simply leaves.

He can’t believe Lan Xichen would lie like that, can’t believe Lan Xichen would lie like that to Madam Yu, who is worse than a shark that smelled blood when it comes to lies.

She would have called Lan Xichen on his bluff in just a second, and Jiang Cheng is absolutely not ready to hear Lan Xichen explain that yes, it all was just one big lie.

Fuck, Jiang Cheng can’t believe Lan Xichen would say that, that he would lower himself so far after everything he heard about Jiang Cheng this evening.

Really, he should have realized halfway through dinner that Jiang Cheng is definitely the wrong person for him.

For anyone, really.

Jiang Cheng flees the house, doesn’t even stop to check if Lan Xichen is coming after him or not, and he also doesn’t waste a moment to figure out how he will get home.

He’ll walk, if he has to, or call Wei Wuxian. He’s probably sitting next to his phone anyway.

Jiang Cheng realizes his mistake when he steps out into the pouring rain, but by then he’s already soaked, so it doesn’t matter anyway.

He keeps on walking.

Jiang Cheng is glad for the rain, because at least that way he can pretend that he’s not crying as he wonders if Lan Xichen will bother to break up with him personally, if he told his parents to convey the message or if he’ll just vanish from Jiang Cheng’s life.

This has always been what Jiang Cheng was most afraid of, and he should have known better than to try for some form of happiness with Lan Xichen. It never works out for Jiang Cheng after all.

Jiang Cheng isn’t very far from the house, when suddenly an umbrella is being held over him.

“What are you doing?” Lan Xichen softly asks and tugs on Jiang Cheng’s arm to stop him and the tears immediately flow faster.

“Why would you say something like that?” Jiang Cheng chokes out and Lan Xichen’s face goes soft.

“Because it’s the truth.”

“Don’t say that,” Jiang Cheng whispers and he fists his hands in Lan Xichen’s jacket. “Don’t say that,” he repeats again, stronger this time. “You deserve so much better!”

“I don’t care if I deserve better or not,” Lan Xichen says, and covers Jiang Cheng’s hands with his. “I only want you. You and no one else. It has to be you,” he says and then he leans down to kiss the tears right from Jiang Cheng’s face.

Jiang Cheng closes his eyes and he’s so, so scared that he is ruining Lan Xichen’s life by allowing this to continue but he can’t help himself.

He got a taste of it, and now he’s insatiable.

“So when you said you’d marry me—,” he starts and Lan Xichen hums softly.

“I meant it. I would if I thought it would finally put you at ease, make you believe that you are good, that I love you, and that you are good for me as well.”

“What if I never think that?” Jiang Cheng lowly asks and Lan Xichen nuzzles his cheek.

“Then I will still someday ask you to marry me. I realize that it’s too early now, don’t worry about that, but one day it won’t be. And then I will ask you.”

Jiang Cheng cups Lan Xichen’s face with his hands, and brings their foreheads together before he answers.

“What if I can’t say yes?” Jiang Cheng wants to know and Lan Xichen shrugs.

“Then we’ll stay boyfriends,” he says, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“You’re insane,” Jiang Cheng accuses him, because Lan Xichen must be, if even a refused marriage proposal couldn’t chase him from Jiang Cheng’s side, but Lan Xichen only smiles.

“Okay,” he easily agrees and kisses Jiang Cheng. “And I’m also insanely in love with you. And no matter what your mother or your father have to say about you, that won’t change.”

“Not at all?” Jiang Cheng wants to know, and his voice is small, because he knows what his parents think of him is right.

“No. Because they clearly don’t know you like I do. They don’t know that you’re the most hardworking and diligent person I know. That you care more than you should and that you love so much, that you try your very best every day and that you are an amazing man. And if they don’t know that, then that’s on them. Their loss. I know who I have right here with me, and I love you so much.”

Jiang Cheng has to fight new tears at that, and he falls forward right into Lan Xichen. He wishes Lan Xichen could hug him right now, but he’s still holding the umbrella and so a one-armed hug is the best he can do.

“I love you, too,” Jiang Cheng says and he knows that he still has a long, long way to go, but if he has Lan Xichen by his side, he might even believe all of the things he just said.

One day, Jiang Cheng hopes.

And on that day, he will find his true happiness with Lan Xichen as well.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[thebrownssociety]

Across The Serververse, Chapter 10

Hey! thanks to @thatsalotoftoons and @shipping-queen-fay-blog [thank you for your nice comments, but the way] for following this story.  

*Approximately 5 and a half hours later*

“There.” Marvin removed himself from the underside of Sam’s newly-fixed car, with an of someone reaching the end of his tether. “You will not find a more ready-to-go car than that, Yosemite.”

Wile.E closed the bonnet of the car and, handing a tool of some kind to Raodie, gave a thumbs up.

The others all hopped down/stood away from the bits of the car that they were working on, revealing the whole thing in it’s shiny, gold-painted glory to Sam.

It was beautiful, the pirate thought while staring at it in amazement. It had been good before, but now it was great! The two canon muzzles that stuck out the end of the car had been modified so they were now ready to hold anything and Wile.E had done something with the amount of stuff the car could hold so it was, in a word, better.

Sam smiled and ran his hands over the paintwork. “It’s as good as new.” He said, trying not to get to emotional. “I-I don’t know how ta thank ya all.”

“You know...” Pepe said, coming over to stand next to Sam and putting his hand on the car door in what could only be described as a seductive manner. “We technically still have ze time? You could probably still run ze race if you wanted...?”

Sam gave it serious consideration, but then shook his head reluctantly. “Nah. I ah couldn’t do that. Not when we’re missing several relatives. I mean...if it all ends up coming down to the last couple of hours ah don’t wanna be thinkin’ ‘if only I hadn’t run that race!’ Ya know wha’ ah mean? Besides. The track do darn go on forever. Nah, les leave it.”

Just at that exact moment day turned into night, as it tended to do. There were no sunsets or sunrises in the serververse [unless you lived in a live-action world, such as Harry Potter] the sun just went up and down without any warning.

With a cry of alarm Bugs signalled to Marvin and the Martian sped-walked towards him with a placating: “Do not worry yourself, my furry brother, I have a torch somewhere in my hammerspa-”

“What?” Bugs looked at him like he’d lost the plot. “Oi’m not scared of de dark, Marvin. Oi scurry me little hide through pitch-black tunnels most of the time, how can I be scared of de dark? No, I want ta plan wit’ ya where we’re going next as - and you may not have noticed this - IT’S DE MIDDLE OF DE NIGHT!”

Marvin's eyes narrowed and he put his hands on his hips. “I appreciate this is a stressful time for us all, Bugs, but if you would kindly refrain from shouting at me-”

“Who’s shouting?” Bugs yelled.

Marvin’s eyes narrowed even further so they were practically one eye and he said, with dignity. “I shall attribute your attitude to both your concern about our siblings and lack of sleep. Now-” Marvin began, his tone, bearing and general attitude reminding everyone why he was in charge of a planet and they were not. “-Listen to me and listen well. We are nearly out of both water and fuel. We forgot to bring food with us, although I am willing to take responsibility for that as it is my ship, and we now have a car to transport. So I propose we go back to Warner Brothers Central for 12 hours exactly. I shall stock the ship with supplies and fill it up with fuel, Sam can take his car somewhere it won’t be a nuisance and we can all get some rest. We’ll then head straight off and decide who to get next after we all have clearer minds.” There was a pause during which Marvin looked at Bugs like he was expecting a reply.

Bugs blinked back at him, trying to process what he’d just said. His head felt foggy. He ran a hand across his forehead and smiled in what he hoped was a nice smile and not a deranged one. 

Marvin cleared his throat and said, slowly and clearly. “I propose we do that right this minute as - as you keep reminding us - time is off the essence. Is anyone against that plan?” He asked, looking round at the rest of the group.

If Bugs had been thinking clearly he’d have seen that everyone else was completely cool with Marvin’s idea, even Tweety who had been on edge for about the last 10 hours, seemed happy with it.

As he was not thinking clearly, however - far from it, he was tired, hungry, stressed and worried - Bugs said with the kind of ferocity you might expect from a wolf, should you ever meet one. “Okay, Oi get it. Ya want ta leave our family alone to fight for dere lives!” Voice rising, he spat. “Granny an’ Speedy are in ‘The Matrix’! Dey could be dead-!”

“Bugs!” Penelope cut in, with an urgent head nod at Tweety, who had gone ashen. 

Not even noticing her Bugs steamrolled on. “-Or bein’ attacked or somethin’! Sentient A.I’s who knows what damage dey cahn do! An’ Porky and Daffy are in DC World! An Lola’s dere as well! Villains! Superhero’s! Oi mean sure-” Bugs rambled, his voice becoming progressively higher-pitched as his body also started to shake. “All de times we’ve been dere it’s been fine, bit who knows now? Acid vaults! Incineration rays! Plants! That...” Here Bugs struggled  for a few seconds to find the words, then managed to grasp them. “...weird egg man...what was his name? - Humpty Dumpty! I mean-” At this point Bugs found himself unable to talk properly and made motions with his arms that, to him, represented sewing and to everyone else represented a nervous breakdown. “Oi mean...” He repeated. Slowing down now he looked at his family with wide eyes and a trembling frame, saying in a small voice. “...Oi don’t know what I mean.” Before bursting into tears. 

There was a long pause while the others tried to remember the last time they saw Bugs cry. Genuinely cry I mean, not for a cartoon or the like. Quite a while ago now...

It was Penelope who finally got enough wits about her to go and actually comfort the rabbit. Making soothing noises and reassuring him that Daffy, Porky and Lola would probably be fine as would the rest of the family, she enveloped him in a hug. 

One by one the other toons moved in and hugged Bugs as well. It took a while but eventually the rabbits breathing evened out and he started calming down. A little while longer and Bugs said, somewhat shakily. “Okay...Oi’m alright now. Jus’ lost me senses for a few minutes.”

“It’s perfectly logical.” Wile.E said, in what was meant to be a reassuring manner, but came across as lecturing. “This has been a stressful time and the human - or in your case - the rabbit mind can only deal with so much. After a short while-” 

It was at this point that Roadie elbowed his twin and held up a sign that said. ‘I don’t think he needs a lecture, Wile.E.’

Wile.E, massaging his arm, saw this and muttered something agreeable. 

“Marvin-” Bugs muttered, sounding exhausted. “-take over will ya? Oi don’t feel good.” And he sat down and put his head in his hands.

“Right.” Marvin wasted no time. “Wile.E and Roadie put Bugs up and carry him back to the ship. It’s clear the poor rabbit’s suffering a nervous breakdown of some sort. We’ll do what I said. Hopefully sleep will restore everyone’s minds. Let’s not waste any time now, Wile.E, Roadie?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, watching all this from the monitors Pete smiled [as much as a blob can smile] and dreamed about what it would be like if he could be so lucky as to be one of the ‘Looney Tunes’. He didn’t see why it couldn’t work. HIs jelly-like body was practically made for squashing under anvils....

After indulging this fantasy for more than a few minutes Pete slapped himself and started checking the other monitors.

Elmer was still fine. No change there then. Still showing a resistance to Mama’s Yak Stew and the like, but that was understandable.

Gossamer and Witch Hazel...Pete zoomed in and grimaced a little. Interesting. Very interesting. Amazing how people will change when you give them a little power...

On the bright side the guards were reacting well to Hazel. Pete had been worried about that...

Granny and Speedy...Pete zoomed in just in time for a fighting scene. Pete winced...he’d never seen a handbag used quite like that before...

Lola...still good. She was certainly improving. All that training must be paying off. 

And finally Daffy and Porky. Last time they’d been fine...

Pete zoomed in and - ah. How interesting. He leaned forward and linked his tentacles together. Really, he should have expected this. What was it Rhythm always said? There are ways round everything? How clever...

His last thoughts, before he stopped his monitoring for a few hours, was to wonder how the other toons would react to this? 

[calpalirwin]

Painted Pink Room

A/N: @talkfastromance4​ mentioned that a part 2 to this would be cool and I had some ideas for it, so here we are.

Word Count: 2.3k

And away, and away we go!

__

It took a month for McKenna to finally sleep through the night in her own room, not that Calum and Luke minded in the slightest. Nap time was fine, but there was something about sleeping in the dark alone, even with the aid of a nightlight, that sent McKenna scurrying into bed with her dads every night.

So when Calum rolled over one morning and found empty space before his hand smacked into Luke’s arm, he shot awake. “Where’s Mack?!”

Luke mumbled angrily in his sleep. “Shh, Cal, I’m sleeping…”

“And Mack is missing!”

That got Luke’s attention, blue eyes snapping opening. He sat up straight, throwing back the covers. “What do you mean she’s missing?!”

“Do you see her in here?! Did she sleep in her own bed all night?”

“She better have otherwise she might be actually missing…”

Both men jumped out of bed and raced down the hall to McKenna’s room. And found her peacefully sleeping in her bed, Duke and Petunia curled up on the floor next to her. “How is she still asleep?” Luke asked in a whisper. 

Calum shrugged, checking the time on his phone before groaning. “Probably cuz it’s five in the fuckin’ morning…”

“You woke me up at five in the morning because Mack was asleep in her own bed?!”

“I panicked, okay?! She’s never spent the whole night in her room before, what was I supposed to think?!”

“Sssshhhhh!” Luke shushed, gesturing for them to leave the room. “You wanna wake her up, or go back to bed? I, for one, vote for going back to bed.”

Calum yawned, agreeing with Luke that more sleep was needed. “Hey, Lu?”

“Yeah?”

“She did it. Whole night in her own room,” he smiled in pride.

“Yeah,” Luke matched Calum’s grin for a second. “But I’m kinda gonna miss her elbow in my ribs.”

“Yeah. Me too…”

And as much as they missed the little body squeezed in next to them, they did enjoy the extra uninterrupted hours of sleep. They also enjoyed McKenna tiptoeing into the room with both dogs at her side to wake them up, asking for breakfast.

~~~

“Alright, little miss, how do we want our hair today?” Calum asked her after Luke helped her get dressed. “Up or down?” He swung her up and sat her down on the bathroom counter, spinning her around so they both faced the mirror.

“Up!”

“Ponytail, braid, or bun?”

“Tail!”

“Great choice!” Calum grinned before setting to work, taking in pride at how well he’d learn to do her hair over the past handful of weeks. “Did Daddy tell you what we’re doing today?”

“‘Ool?” she asked, cocking her head to the side and turning a little.

“Gotta sit still for me, darling.” He gently set her straight again. “But, yeah, you’re right. We’re gonna go swimming today. Do you know why?”

She thought about it for a second, her little face scrunching in the mirror.

“You know you scrunch your face just like Daddy when you’re thinking,” Calum noted.

“Like Daddy?” she asked, scrunching her face more.

“Just like him.”

“Eyes like Papa!”

“Yep, eyes just like mine,” Calum smiled at her. “Can you remember why Daddy said we’re swimming today?”

“No.”

“It’s because we’re meeting some friends today!”

“Fwends?!”

“Yeah! Uncle Ashton and Uncle Mikey are gonna come over, so you can meet them and your cousin Wyatt.”

“Wots of fwends!”

“A little bit, yeah. But they’re excited to meet you.”

“Me?!”

“Yes, you! So, what do you say? Wanna go swimming with your new friends today?”

“Yes!”

“That’s my girl! C’mon, let’s go find Daddy.”

~~~

There was a small downside to having told McKenna that friends would be coming over to swim. It was the fact that she had very little concept of how time worked. So any sound of a car driving past was met with an excited gasp of “Fwends?!” and Calum and Luke having to shake their heads and go, “No, Mack. It’s not time yet. We have to have lunch and a nap first.” A cycle of conversation that repeated on an endless loop even after lunch had been eaten and the nap had been taken.

“Seriously, where the fuck are they?” Luke asked in a low, aggravated tone.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Calum replied in a similar tone, huffing and pulling out his phone. Then he sighed in relief, flashing the message at Luke. “On their way. 5 minutes ago.”

“Which means they should pulling up any-”

“Fwends?!” McKenna interrupted as a car turned into the drive.

“That better fuckin’ be them,” Luke grumbled, marching for the door and pulling it open. “Hey, ya made it!” he hollered.

Ashton laughed as he slung a bag over his shoulder. “Sorry mate. Someone took forever to go down for a nap.”

“S’alright. Still got most of the afternoon. How long can these two swim for anyhow?” Calum pointed out, stepping onto the porch next to Luke with McKenna at his side. “Look, Mack, our friends are here! You wanna say hi?”

McKenna peered around Calum’s leg over at Ashton and Michael, her eyes wide. “Big wike you…” she whispered.

Calum laughed. “Yeah, Uncle Ashton and Uncle Mikey are big like me and Daddy. But look! Wyatt’s little like you.”

“Hey, McKenna,” Michael said, crouching down in front of her. “I’m Mike, and this is Wyatt. Wyatt, do you wanna say hi to McKenna?”

“Hi,” the little boy said, before glancing up at Michael, and whispering “Swimming now, Daddy?”

“You don’t wanna say hi to your uncles first?” Michael whispered back.

“Oh…” Wyatt turned his attention to Calum and Luke. “Hi.”

“Hey, bud,” Luke chuckled. “Mack, they said hi. Do you want to say hi back?”

“Hi…” she offered up shyly.

“How ‘bout we hit the pool, yeah?” Ashton asked, trying to steamroll through the shy hellos.

“Great idea!” Luke agreed. “C’mon, Mack, let’s go get your swimsuit on.”

“Otay!”

From there, conversation flowed much more fluidly as the four men leaned against the pool walls, chatting about work ideas while McKenna and Wyatt splashed about on the steps, engaging in their own imaginary play and toddler babble. “So how are you guys adjusting and everything?” Ashton asked once they’d worn down work ideas. 

“Fine I guess,” Luke said with a shrug.

“Yeah. She actually slept the whole night in her own bed last night,” Calum added. 

“Shit, that’s a huge step. Have you reached the tantrum stage yet?” Michael asked.

Calum and Luke looked at each other and shook their heads. “No,” answered Calum. “She gets whiny and pouts about things sometimes. But no major meltdowns so far.”

“But don’t jinx us,” Luke added with a laugh.

Just then there was a particularly loud splash and all of them turned as Wyatt came up sputtering, before letting out a scared wail. “Whoa!” Ashton rushed, stepping over and helping Wyatt back up on the step. “Deep breath. You’re okay. What happened? Did you slip?”

“She! Pushed! Me!” he continued to cry, pointing at McKenna who scowled at him.

Calum grabbed McKenna, pulling her away from Wyatt before setting her on the ledge in front of him. “Did you push Wyatt?”

She nodded.

Calum sighed. “Why?”

“He mean.”

“He was mean to you?”

“Uh-huh.” And to demonstrate, she dipped her hand in the water and splashed Calum in the face.

“Hey!” Calum said sternly, grabbing her hand. “We don’t splash people in the face. That’s not nice.”

“He did!”

“Oh…” Calum said in understanding. “He splashed you in the face so you pushed him?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay, but we don’t push people, darling. That’s not nice either. If you have a problem, you come get me or Daddy, okay?”

“Otay…”

“Okay. So what do we say when we’re mean to someone and hurt them?”

“Sowwy…”

“Don’t say sorry to me. Say sorry to Wyatt.”

“Sowwy ‘Ayatt…”

“It’s otay,” he sniffed.

Ashton and Calum set both kids back to play before making their way back over to Michael and Luke. “So what happened?”

“I think Wyatt accidentally splashed her in the face and she got pissed, so she shoved him,” Calum recapped.

“So we’re raising a vigilante? Cool,” Luke laughed. “Good to know.”

“Shut up, it’s not funny,” Calum scolded.

“Eh,” Michael shrugged. “In all fairness there’s a 50/50 shot that Wyatt splashed her on purpose.”

“That’s true,” Ashton nodded. “Tried to break the habit about a billion times, but hey, maybe he just needed to get shoved to make the lesson stick ya know? They’re kids. No one got hurt. That’s what matt- Wyatt James, don’t splash her.”

Wyatt’s hands were poised in the water, ready to splash at McKenna again. He giggled, not thinking Ashton was serious and gave McKenna a face full of water. On instinct, she shoved him off the step again.

“Dude, what did I just tell you?” Ashton groaned as he went over to get Wyatt.

“Alright, we’re done,” Calum said, following Ashton to collect McKenna. “That’s enough swimming for the day.”

“Good call,” Ashton nodded.

“Papa, no!” the toddlers shrieked as they got taken out of the water.

“Yeah, I bet you’ll listen next time then, huh?” Ashton asked.

“Papa!” Wyatt continued to sob as Ashton wrapped him in a towel and sat with him in a chair. “I… wanna… swim!”

“Me too!” McKenna hiccuped.

“Maybe later. Right now we’re taking a break,” Calum told them both.

“Daddy!” McKenna cried.

“Oh, you’re mad at me so you want Daddy? Alright, see how far you get,” Calum chuckled, as Luke and Michael made their way over to the rest of the group.

“What’s up, sweetheart?” Luke asked, taking McKenna from Calum.

“Swim, pwease?”

“Nope. We’re all taking a break.”

She let out a loud cry, burying her head into Luke, who reached over to shove Michael. “I told you not to jinx us, ya cunt.”

Michael laughed, “Wait til she has a tantrum over something completely ridiculous.”

The men continued to talk, while whispering small assurances to the toddlers that “It’s alright. You’re fine,” until the hiccuped sobs turned to soft sniffles.

“You understand why Papa had you take a break?” Michael spoke softly to Wyatt. “We don’t splash people in the face.”

“Accident…”

“The first time, maybe it was. But the second time we all watched you. Papa even told you not to, and you did it anyway. That’s why McKenna pushed you, and that’s why we all had to take a break.”

“Oh… Sowwy…”

“Not to me. To McKenna for splashing her, and to Papa for not listening.”

“Sowwy Papa.”

“Thank you, bud,” Ashton smiled at his son. “I love you.”

“Wuv you. Sowwy, ‘Kenna.”

“It otay.”

“What else do you say, sweetheart?” Luke guided. “Papa already warned you about pushing people the first time, that’s why you had to take a break.”

“Sowwy ‘Ayatt.”

“It’s otay.”

“Daddy?” McKenna asked, tracing her fingers over Luke’s painted nails.

“What’s up, sweetheart?”

“Dis pwetty.”

Luke waggled his fingers. “They are pretty, huh?”

“Mhm. Mine wike dat?”

“Yeah, we can get your nails painted.”

“Me too?” Wyatt asked, perking up.

“If you want, bud, sure,” Michael nodded, before directing his attention to Calum and Luke, “You guys got nail polish? We can do it now.”

“Yeah, we got a whole bunch,” Calum answered. “I’ll go get the stuff. Lu, you wanna get her changed out of her swimsuit?”

“On it.”

Fifteen minutes later found the group hunkered down in the living room, nail polish bottles scattered on the coffee table while little fingernails were swiped with pretty colors. “Tada!” Luke cheered as he capped a bottle of bright red polish. “Look, your nails are just like mine, now.”

“Papa too!”

“Oh, I dunno. Does Papa wanna match with us?” Luke asked Calum, waving the bottle back and forth.

Calum looked at his nails, and shrugged. “Eh, fuck it. Go ahead.”

“You want the red, or do you want your usual black?”

“Red’s fine.”

“Alright, Mack, you wanna help me paint Papa’s fingers?”

“Yeah!”

“Careful not to smudge hers,” Calum warned lightly as he settled back, giving Luke one of his hands.

Carefully, Luke held his own fingers over McKenna’s on the brush to guide her as she painted Calum’s nails for him.

On the other side of the coffee table, Ashton was blowing on Wyatt’s fingers to help the glittery purple nail polish dry. “You know, Daddy used to have hair kinda like this.”

Wyatt looked over at Michael and laughed. “Daddy hair purple!”

“My hair was lilac, not purple,” Michael corrected as he swiped black nail polish across his own nails.

“Not the lilac. The…” Ashton snapped his fingers as he thought. “Fuck what was it? It was like purple, blue, and black all at once.”

“Galaxy. Yeah, that one was fun.”

“Probably my favorite hair color of yours honestly,” Calum told him.

“Yeah, you ever gonna dye your hair again, Mike?” Luke asked.

“Maybe when you finally decide to dye yours.”

“I did dye my hair!”

“You’re blonde, and you dyed your hair more blonde. Doesn’t count.”

“How does that not count?!”

“Cuz you gotta dye it another color.”

“It was another color!”

“No, it was a different shade. Not the same thing.”

Luke made sputtering sounds of disbelief. “Cal! C’mon, tell Mike it’s the same thing.”

Calum snorted. “I’m with Mike on this one. Dying your hair a different shade, isn’t the same as dying it a different color.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Not if that side’s wrong, I’m not.”

“You’re an ass for 1. And for 2, your nails are done.”

“Very pwetty,” McKenna beamed, proud of her handiwork.

“Thank you very much, darling,” Calum said, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Now we all match. Me, you, and Daddy.”

__

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @major5sosstan @1weekago​ @kaitieskidmore1​

[wing-ed-thing]

Cliché (shy!Reader x Might Guy, Part II)

Hi everyone! It makes me so happy to see that others enjoy my dumb little stories. Ngl I’m fairly self-conscious about my writing style, but I like writing it and people enjoy it so I’m happy! Anyway, Tumblr isn’t letting my post show up in the tags if I have a link, so part I is on my Masterlist pinned on my blog. Apologies for the inconvenience!

“No, no… no, no, no, no… ” you muttered, head in your hands and grasping at your scalp. Your knees pulled to your chest as you sat in the hospital cot. You folded your body into a ball. You were mortified, horrified. Not only did you pass out, but your crush of a decade-long-plus carried you to the hospital. You could die. You kept repeating the words louder to yourself, “No, oh my god, oh my god...”

“It’s not so bad, (Y/N)-chan.” Kurenai reassured you in an attempt to sound nonchalant. She looked upon you in your overreacted state and moved an arm around your shoulder. She tried her best to give a reassuring smile. “You passed out from getting within a foot of Maito-Kun, so what?” Her wording only served to make you groan.

Kurenai was the only one you had ever told about your crush on Guy (not that most everyone else didn’t know already). She thought that you just should have talked to him in the academy days, but considering it took you this much time to work up the nerve, she supported your “casual walk” plan with resignation. But when she saw Guy carrying you to the hospital after “morning training”, she knew what must have happened. She sighed, luckily the training grounds were close to the hospital. She could only imagine what would have happened if you actually tried asking Might out of a date.

Now as you sit up in your hospital cot, she couldn’t help but hold back a snicker. She was of course going to be a supportive friend, even if this whole situation was ridiculous. You were passed out over Might Guy for Jashin’s sake! And to make matters worse, now you were stuck at the notoriously busy Konoha general all morning waiting for Shizune to come discharge you. You definitely reminded her of a certain student…

You raised your head, resting your chin on your knees. You sighed.

“I knew I couldn’t hold an actual conversation, but I didn’t think I’d actually pass out!” Kurenai couldn’t hold back a chuckle this time.

“It just means that you’ll do better next time for sure!” You give Kurenai a look of gratitude for her positivity, even if she was laughing a bit. The pit in your chest and burn on your cheeks wouldn’t clear up anytime soon, but the support of your friend was reassuring.

“I don’t know how the bar could be any lower,” you muttered. Kurenai looked sympathetically at you. Before she could comment, Shizune came through the door.

“I heard you overdid it training again?” she inquired in a slightly exasperated tone. You had a flashback to Guy. The hand on his chest. The toned muscle under his jumpsuit.

“Yep!” you blurted, “Just training! Nothing else!” Yeah, she didn’t believe that for a second.

“You have to take it easier,” she humored you, coming closer to check you for injury, “We can’t have you blacking out on the battlefield.”

“Yeah, I know,” you tell her, scratching your head sheepishly. You were relieved that people just thought you overworked yourself training. Unbeknownst to you, Shizune knew better. “One-time thing I promise!”

Shizune rolled her eyes before formally discharging you from Konoha General. Kurenai walked you out. The two of you chatted happily. It’s not all the time that busy shinobi like you have downtime to just shoot the breeze. However, that smile soon faded as you spotted Might Guy standing by the entrance. Great, Kurenai will have to catch you this time. You froze. He looked as if he just ran there as he stood by the gate stretching his quads. You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked in the golden evening glow.

You shook the thought out of your head and tried to move behind Kurenai. Quickly sensing your nervousness, Kurenai tugged you forward by the shirt. You flinched as you walked out of the hospital.

“Ah! Kurenai-san!” Guy exclaims, running up to the pair of you, “(Y/N)-san, I came to check on you after I finished my morning training!” He came back to check on you. You were touched, but your gratitude came off only as an awkward laugh.

“Which round, the third or fourth?” you inquired, too tense for it to come off as a full joke. Guy didn’t notice though.

“Ha! You got me there, (Y/N)-san!” His laugh was jolly. You always liked his laugh, it made you smile. You always liked that about his nature. You didn’t talk to Might Guy a lot, but when you did, no matter how awkward you were he always seemed happy to see you. A small blush formed on your cheeks.

Kurenai looked at you, then at Guy. Yep, definitely reminded her of a certain two students.

“Guy, you’re right on time! Perhaps you can walk (Y/N) home because I have to-” she paused- “Check up on my team, I promised! You’ll take care of her, won’t you Guy?”

You looked at Kurenai in acute terror.

“Of course I will!” Guy proclaimed, unaware of the exchange between yourself and your friend. Kurenai patted you on the shoulder as she walked out of the gates.

“Judas!” you hissed under your breath as she left. Kurenai smiled at you innocently. You’ll thank her later. You turned back to face Guy.

“Really Guy, I don’t want to put you out more than I already have.” You gestured towards him. “I was going to go to the market for dinner anyway! You probably have more training to do.”

Guy stood by your side, chest puffed and grin on his face. You smiled at his smile.

“Nonsense! Let me help you, (Y/N)-san!” He looks off to the side, looking a little dejected. “I also want to make sure you’re okay, ” he admits. His shoulders slump a bit, his confidence replaced with sheepishness and a slight pout. An adorable pout. “I can’t help but feel responsible… overwhelming you with the power of youth and all...” Yeah, youth… that was it.

“No, not at all, Guy-san!” you squeaked.

“So you’ll let me accompany you?” It was less of a question and more of an eager statement, but how could you say no? Guy pepped up right away as he dragged you out of the gates of Konoha General in the direction of the market.

You walked down the street together. You were content to listen as Guy spoke passionately about his training today and his students. His eyes lit up the more he spoke. There’s that passion you admired. There’s someone who loves what he does. Your shoulders relaxed as you two walked along. You laughed loudly at his exaggerated gestures. People were staring as the two of you walked passed. That was something you would have normally, self consciously noticed, but not this time. What you also didn’t notice, was the pure look of happiness that swept through Guy when you smiled.

“I hope I’m not boring you. Most people don’t let me go on about training for this long!” Guy confessed. You both stood at a stall in the market as you looked over vegetables.

“I-” you paused and met his gaze. Like hearing you speak? Like your passion? Enjoy being with you? Don’t understand how someone couldn’t enjoy being with you?- “I don’t mind.” You resumed picking your vegetables. Guy insisted on holding your bag for you. He chuckled.

“Well, I’m relieved.” He gave you a wink as you placed a vine of tomatoes in the bag. You quickly looked away, expecting him to continue talking about his team, but he didn’t. It wasn’t like him to be so silent. You glanced and saw his face was pensive. The both of you continued moving along. The paper throw-away bag he carried getting more and more full. He spoke your name.

“I hope you know that you can speak your mind.” You wavered. He continued, “You seem like you have something to say or you’re thinking about something. I just want you to know that you’re welcome to share that with me.”

Shocked, you hesitated. You couldn’t recall a time when anyone invited you to openly speak your mind. He wasn’t demanding of you impatiently, but encouraging. That was definitely a new one for you.

“You make everything sound so simple. I wish I was like you. I couldn’t do what you do,” you admitted. Everything was telling you to hold back and to stop speaking, but his words rolled around in your head. “I enjoy hearing about your team and your training, please tell me more.”

You never thought you would see the day that you had a full one-on-one conversation with Guy (especially at a relatively close proximity!), but today was that day. He indulged you as you walked back to your apartment, talking about whatever it was that you asked about. After all, you were content in your listening. Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all. You could definitely get used to this. It was new, but you liked it: the peace of mind his presence brought, how he never steamrolled you when you chimed in, laughing when the leaves of the celery stalks flew into his face. However, your conversation soon came to a close as you soon found yourselves in front of your front door. You thanked him for walking you home as he handed you your groceries. You felt like you should say something, but nervousness delayed you.

“Um… thank you, Guy-San,” you stammered.

“Of course! Anytime, (Y/N)-san.” he gave his signature thumbs up. You gulped, thinking about his words from the market. Was it that easy to tell how often you held back? You knew that at some point you would like to be a more open person, but fear often got in the way. You observed Guy and wanted to grow and he gave you the room. For someone so loud, not once did he interrupt you when you spoke. He was telling the truth; you’re welcome to share with him. He inspired you to be better, to reach your goals, and he didn’t even know it. So, at the risk of fainting again, you went for it.

“I enjoyed talking to you, perhaps we could do it again!” you anxiously exclaimed at a higher volume than you probably should have. Guy liked the energy, even if it was wrapped in nervousness.

“That’s a wonderful idea! Indeed we should!” he agreed.

You blanked the rest of the conversation. You didn’t even remember waving him off or stumbling into your apartment. The only thing you could think of was that you have to tell Kurenai.

[sepublic]

Blight Trio AU

           So as a bit of an extension of my past meta, speculation, and analyses on Emira and Edric, and their feelings towards Amity… What if they got to Amity first? That is to say, before Odalia and Alador could fully indoctrinate Amity into their toxic abuse and ideas of authority and hierarchy… What if Ed and Em managed to become a better, more prominent influence in Amity’s life? What if a younger Amity chose to listen to her siblings more than her parents, to follow them around, and looked up to them more for guidance?

           In the Blight Trio AU, Emira and Edric ended up having way more of an influence on Amity. As a result, she became a troublemaker like them, and instead of just being known as the Blight Twins… They became known as the Blight Kids, that trio of siblings always hanging around together, causing trouble, and being oh-so confident, charming, and too cool for school!

           As Amity became more like the Twins as a deliberate defense against their parents’ attempts to separate the kids and put them at each other’s throats, to keep from competing with one another for Odalia and Alador’s meaningless affection… Unsurprisingly, she changed her style of clothes. She ended up dressing like Ed and Em, just as they dressed like one another! She even dyed her hair a green more akin to Emira and Edric, although in this scenario it was more encouraged by her siblings as a sign of solidarity against their parents, and not an outright order forced by Odalia.

           (More on that later)

           Just as Emira and Edric are inseparable in the original canon, in the Blight Trio AU, Amity is included amongst this! All three Blight kids have shared their deepest, darkest secrets with each other; They do everything together, and are practically capable of finishing each other’s sentences! They also seem like three parts of a whole, which leads to most people referring to the group as a whole –the Blight kids- VS as separate individuals.

           Amity’s definitely a lot more open, happier, and confident here. She’s a lot more similar to Emira and Edric, at first glance… That same flippant, mischievous confidence, that willingness to mess around with other people, seemingly too cool for school! Because Amity’s given a better sense of individuality with her older siblings, she’s happier and more open about being a dork, at least when she and the others are alone- Like Edric, when in public, she’s not as open about being a dork. Like the Twins, Amity continues that same façade, although this façade comes across as a lot happier and more confident than the one she has in canon.

           And, Amity IS happier and more independent, in a sense! She’s not subject to crippling pressures and expectations by her parents- Or at least, she’s no longer beholden to them. Because Amity is One Of Them, Emira and Edric fully indulge in her interests in The Good Witch Azura, about wanting to be good at magic, and help train her a lot! They use their skills and talent to hone Amity’s understanding, and following in her siblings’ footsteps, Amity enrolls in the Illusion Track!

           …Still. While it’s in some ways a lot better than what she has in canon, because Amity fully has the trust and support of her siblings and vice-versa, and is fully integrated amongst the group… As I’ve speculated in the past, there are issues of identity. Not only that, but while Ed and Em try to reassure Amity that she really IS one of them, Amity still has concerns. She knows that she’s younger, and that Emira and Edric are implicity closer with one another, than they are with Amity. It’s only natural- For two whole years, they only had each other! Not to mention they look so similar, too…

           And, Amity doesn’t want to get in the way. She doesn’t want to be jealous. But sometimes she’s afraid that her own relationship with her siblings, individually, doesn’t mean as much to them? That if either Emira or Edric had to choose between their other siblings, they’d choose their Twin? It’s a silly thought, surely, and amidst Amity’s darker secrets, this one she doesn’t bring up. It brings shame to her, and it makes her feel like she’s jeopardizing the ‘harmony’ and ‘sync’ of the trio. The fact that she’s noticeably younger and has brown hair more akin to their abusive father, VS her loving siblings, doesn’t help either…

           In this situation, Amity’s hair is always, constantly, fully-dyed; Especially with the help of Illusions. Her shade of green is dark and identical to the Twins’. She dresses like them, doesn’t do things without them and vice-versa… And while it seems like the kids are a close, tight-knit and cohesive unit, there’s still issues here or there. Because Emira and Edric influenced Amity so much… They’re a bit less self-aware of whenever they tend to steamroll over what Amity wants for herself, especially since Amity is reluctant about letting them down by trying to be different. She already feels beholden to her older siblings for saving her from their parents, and again, she doesn’t want to jeopardize any unity…

           Especially since the Blight Trio, as in canon, only really have each other! They don’t have any actual friends… By a stroke of different decisions leading to different circumstances, Amity never encountered Willow by chance and never became close to her unfortunately. She was too busy doing other things with Emira and Edric…

           Making friends also means getting people involved in the Blight drama and abuse, and that’s a very vulnerable thing to do. After all, making connections outside of the family that their parents don’t approve of would mean having to defend them… So the Blight Trio avoids friends, they act like they’re secretly too cool for everyone else, and everybody else agrees and assumes as such! But they’re starved for additional friends. Having the three of them IS great and all… But if they weren’t afraid of hurting anyone else, the Blight Trio would certainly try to form more connections. And, this just contributes to their loneliness, insecurity… To the distance they set others at, pretending to be casual and informal, and while to an extent they ARE…

           The Blight Trio could never let anyone in close, because the idea of people intimately knowing them is terrifying. Instead, they keep marching on together… At least, they try to. But as I said, the differences between Amity and the Twins are obvious. Not to mention, Amity is likely at a different grade level… Because no matter how hard she tries in canon, she just can’t move up a grade! It’s rather frustrating to be in different grades than the Twins, it results in the trio separating more often than they’d like- And while Ed and Em are alone together, THEIR bond and closeness increases, while Amity continues to feel more and more distant.

           At some point, I imagine she gets desperate, maybe interacts with Augustus Porter from her grade! He’s not on Emira and Edric’s level, but he IS a child prodigy who skipped a few grades… Maybe she could pick up a thing or two, and advance to be in the same classes as the twins! Perhaps Amity starts to become acquainted with Willow through Augustus in THIS particular scenario, although…

           Like I said- Amity doesn’t have natural talent, at least not to the same extent as Emira and Edric. And inevitably, she’s going to feel the need to keep up with them, for fear that they’re leaving her behind, that Amity is actually at fault for enforcing a rift between her and the Twins… She works and studies extra hard in the hopes of advancing to their grade, but! Doing so requires time separate from Emira and Edric, because they don’t particularly care for studying or grades. Amity either drops the effort entirely, potentially becoming distant with Augustus and Willow again as she focuses on maintaining her constant presence with the Twins…

           Or, Emira and Edric hear what Amity have to say! And there’s a little bit of concern, because… They understand Amity’s concerns, and they know that she wants to be close with them! And they’d hate to leave their little sis behind, neither twin can imagine what it’s like to be on their own. Either with Amity, or just with one another, the Twins consider the possibility of… Maybe deliberately failing and flunking classes, and getting held back? Granted that would look HUMILIATING, and their parents definitely wouldn’t let it pass!

           Alas, it’s not an option. Even if brought up to Amity, she wouldn’t let the Twins do so anyway, because she doesn’t want to feel like she’s dragging them down… But at the same time, she’s afraid of Emira and Edric leaving her behind! And Emira and Edric don’t reflect as much as whether or not they’re quashing their sister’s identity, because they’re more focused on how being a close-knit group turned out the best, and Amity is already so eager to be like them. NOT being like the Twins has led to Amity’s personal insecurities after all.

           Inevitably, a sense of toxic co-dependency is made. It’s more or less the same between Emira and Edric… But it also happens between the Twins and Amity as well. In Amity’s case, she’s constantly trying to do what she can to be more like her twins, and even existing on their own without any expectations, Emira and Edric unintentionally set an elusive standard for the girl that she simply can’t reach! And it’s exhausting, Amity’s trying to keep up when Emira and Edric aren’t even meaning to outpace her!

           And, they try to make room for her in their schedules. But inevitably, circumstances and the reality of the situation force them farther and farther apart. Emira and Edric don’t stop to consider how much they’re hurting Amity, because again, she seems to be most happy around them, and they’re doing better than their parents! Their self-awareness is even less potent in this AU than in canon. Without meaning to, the Twins find themselves sharing little moments and secrets between one another that Amity isn’t privy to, and at some point… They don’t tell her about this, because they don’t want Amity to feel bad.

           Not to mention, Amity keeps avoiding making new friends, because like her siblings, she’s under the impression that will somehow ‘ruin’ how close she is to Emira and Edric. It’s a frustrating situation, sometimes the trio is seemingly in-sync, but not always… Amidst Ed and Em having THEIR own differences, too! And when either twin goes to Amity and confides about this in secret, she’s elated, because she has something with THIS sibling that the other one doesn’t! In a way, being a trio helps the Blight kids recognize that not all relationships are meant to be the same…

           They learn that inevitably, there are going to be secrets they keep with one person, while excluding from the other. It’s a hard and bitter truth, but they at least manage to cope with it; For each sibling, two connections are better than just the one that Emira and Edric have… And better than the lack of relationships that Amity had, period, prior to meeting Luz! I can see Amity’s presence helping Emira and Edric in a sense… Even if Amity herself also her own issues unique to this AU, perhaps it’s better than being indoctrinated into the self-loathing for herself that Odalia and Alador encouraged in canon.

           Still, it really feels like Amity isn’t her own person- And this realization that she can’t function on her own just makes her panic and become more codependent with the Twins, which in turn worsens the original issue to begin with. It’s a self-feeding cycle, but inevitably, the poor girl is going to get frustrated. She’s going to want to do things that Emira and Edric don’t, because she’s always been a nerd who loves to learn… And when Amity tries to ramble about class, Ed and Em shut her down because they’re not interested, and they assume more often than not that she’s like them; So clearly Amity doesn’t care THAT much, and this is just a sign she’s trying to do well in school to keep up with them- Lighten up a little!

           And they intend to reassure her… but really, Emira and Edric contribute to a feeling of being left unheard, and not appreciated as her own person for Amity. Amity feels like the things that keep her up at night aren’t being relayed and told, nor listened to… And she keeps insisting that this is because she isn’t close enough to the Twins and so neither can trust the other enough to this degree, as if this desperation to be close wasn’t precisely why Amity was suffering! And, amidst Autistic headcanons and speculation about Amity… And sometimes Amity doesn’t get the joke. Sometimes she feels left behind, or not as clever or confident.

           Even if she’s better at it in the Blight Trio AU than in canon, Amity isn’t a perfect talker. Her actual social skills are already stunted as-is, so her façade at being charming and confident has a lot of work to do, in comparison to Ed and Em… That keeps frustrating her, making Amity feels like there’s something wrongwith her.

           Worst-case scenario, a bad argument might lead to Amity feeling like she has to be her own person to survive, and completely cut ties with the Twins… Especially if Emira and Edric’s concerns about being co-dependent with one another become apparent. It’d become heartbreaking, that just as Ed and Em fear that they need to cut ties with the other completely to avoid becoming co-dependent, Amity might think she has to separate from her siblings entirely. She sees the existential angst that Emira and Edric have from being so similar, and it conflicts with her desire to be similar to the Twins. Maybe Amity even considers turning to her parentsfor guidance, under the hopes that they can give her more attention, or at least help the girl form an individual identity of her own…

           Maybe… Maybe Odalia and Alador WERE right, after all. Maybe setting the kids at each others’ throats was the right action, in the end… And Emira and Edric, eerily, consider this every now and then. It makes them doubt their own judgment, their own rebelliousness… It makes it hard to tell what’s right or wrong, if being obedient would’ve made them happier in the long run! Odalia and Alador of course notice this and eat it all up, they try to take advantage of it. Maybe if one kid turns to them for support, they’ll feel indebted to that support; And they’ll try to live up to whatever expectations the Blight parents set, just to maintain that relationship!

           And there is, of course… Luz to consider. Luz the human. Because she’s a lot less elitist and more of a troublemaker thanks to the twins, Amity gets along with her a lot more quickly. And while the Blight Trio is all over Luz, and they utterly LOVE her… Not all of their feelings are the same. Emira and Edric see Luz more as a younger sister than anything else, but Amity… Amity feels romantic.

           This becomes apparent to the Blight Trio, and it confuses them. Maybe Emira and Edric should form a romantic interest in Luz, too? But she’s also a bit younger than them, so maybe not… And Amity’s wondering if she should stop this crush, and try to be like her siblings. Unintentionally on any of the kids’ ends, it becomes like a cult; Where trying to form new connections outside of the group feels like a ‘betrayal’. But Amity can’t deny how she feels, and how Luz makes her feel seen as an individual and not part of a greater whole…

           Then this adds to Amity wondering if she should’ve been separate from the Twins to begin with… It’s a really confusing mess, and Luz, who is just vibing, tries to help! She’s definitely got a lot to offer the Blight Trio, as does Eda… And those two help a lot. Maybe Emira and Edric feel it’s for Amity’s own good that she starts avoiding them, as they fear having become a bad and toxic influence on her… And while they DID do a thing wrong here or there, it’s not irreparable, and cutting ties completely would do more harm than just setting boundaries. But none of the kids can differentiate between setting personal boundaries and individual identity, VS losing a close bond with somebody else. There’s just not enough experience, and Ed and Em feel that Luz is a better influence for Amity than them, anyway… Maybe one twin is different from the other in that they’d rather keep Amity closer, or don’t want to be left behind, the same way Amity was prior to meeting Luz. This would cause even moreconfusion between the Twins, individually- And likely a lot of conflict.

           Amity is of course heart-broken. She tells them that they don’t have to leave her, that she still wants to be with them… But then does she? Because why is she so interested in Luz, doesn’t focusing on this one relationship jeopardize the one she has with her siblings? In the end, Luz helps Amity articulate that she still looks up to the Twins, that they mean the world to her… And she wants them and Luz with her! She doesn’t want to abandon her siblings just to pursue an even closer relationship with Luz, and…

           Eda naturally steps in. She makes it clear to these kids, sets it down, that relationships and identity don’t work like that. You can be your own person and still be close with someone… That arguably, one becomes closer with someone because each one is their own individual! There’s a difference between a close bond and co-dependency, and she and Luz can help the Blight Trio navigate this. Amidst Lilith joining in, and having her own insights and experience to offer…

           Like canon, it’s painful, awkward, and difficult. It’s a bumpy road that’s incredibly confusing and at times the directions seem contradictory. There’s probably going to be times where Amity and the Twins argue and storm off, go their own path… Before it evolves to all three kids going their separate ways from time to time! But I think in the end, Amity, Emira, and Edric will learn to navigate their lives and head towards recovery, just as they likely are in canon! Ed and Em don’t have to be left behind by Amity; She can bring them along with her into the Owl House! And together, they can all heal… Even as Luz and Eda help teach the Blight kids how to be their own people while still maintain close relationships, AND fend off Odalia and Alador’s abuse!