#and frankly wheres the trust like. if you dont trust ppl to tell you they know theres smth going on with them....

[snekdood]

thinkin about a post i saw earlier of someone saying they get really weak when they go vegan... my friend, you are doing everything wrong if that's the case. aside from whatever health issues you may have that prevents you (i've yet to actually hear of any specific health issues that prevent someone from going vegan, maybe being allergic to legumes and soy? or an allergy to nuts etc.? otherwise... i remain kinda skeptical when someone says this, I often feel like ppl say this so they dont have to keep thinking about it), there's lot of things to consider when going vegan and its really important to talk to a nutritionist if you can before you do it.

some things to consider:

you will need to find a source of iron. theres plenty of veggies when eaten in high enough quantities that will provide iron (spinach, an obv choice). it's also wild to assume that you're supposed to get iron from ONE source of food, ideally you eat multiple things throughout the day that have an ok amount of iron that when added up over the day = the daily value you need, you dont need one big block of iron rich food to get all of your iron (and this goes for all food honestly, no reason you need to get all of your nutrients from one food per se. I dont think convenience should ever really be favored over whats ethical)

you'll need a source of omega vitamins. typically this can be found in seaweed, seeds or nuts, but ultimately it might be easier to just buy some supplements (if ur like me and dont like eating nuts a lot :/)

you'll need a way to get vitamin K2, I trust that you're able to do your own research enough to know where to find it, for now I'll tell you it can easily be obtained from saurkraut, natto, kimchi, and dandelions

there are multiple types of protein. this is probably whats tripping you up if you've already covered everything else. these proteins, or more specifically amino acids, are: histidine, isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, and valine. you will need to eat complete proteins that have all of these covered, which is why often people tell you to pair rice with beans since together they are a complete protein. there used to be a website I knew of that listed the different sources of each amino acid, but if you're up to it (im not rn) id suggest looking each amino acid up and finding what food sources have them in it, you'll likely find that multiple amino acids are in one food and that another food has the rest of the amino acids- combined they make a complete protein. oh and also there are some protein powders out there that have all of the amino acids you need, so i'd suggest searching those out (make sure to look at the nutrition info, I used garden of life protein powder) bc you can easily dump that in a smoothie and there ya go.

the problem with going vegan isn't not getting enough nutrients typically, it's that it can be very hard and costly to buy everything you need. it's likely not that you CANT go vegan (unless you have specific allergies or something) just that you were never taught the best way on how to. it all boils down to nutrition, and if you're able to get all these nutrients locked down and be consistent about eating all the nutrients you need, you'll likely not have any issues being vegan, if you do that's something to bring up to a nutritionist, because vegan diets are healthy insofar as you can get all the nutrients you need, and some of us are too poor to consistently be able to buy all these different things. in that case, i'd suggest being a "reducetarian" (thats basically what I am, i'm vegan philosophically and would be more vegan if I had the cash...), rely on vegan alternatives but eat eggs or something here n there if necessary. what I do know is most people dont need to eat meat consistently every day and distrust anyone who tells you otherwise, quite frankly. eating it 2-3 times a week is sufficient from what I've read.

[glitchbirds]

the more i think about it the more i think “dont hatewatch anything dont give (x) any attention” is a sentiment thats a bit misguided, though i understand completely where it comes from

because, like, in that ideal world where no one online Does hatewatch anything that looks like trash from the first preview.. should only official film/television critics hired on major publications and already established in the industry have the privilege to watch whatever studio slop is pumped out? or does that privilege extend to people who make, like, informal critical essays and videos online discussing media; but beyond them the average person should not watch these things because its Bad and Morally Wrong to do so, they have to achieve the Special Privilege of having an audience for them to be allowed to watch something for critical purposes? or are they ALL corporate shills and not even critics should be covering shows like velma because its all free publicity? because idk. i feel like the implication here is either “death to all discussion of things i personally think suck (that i havent watched myself yet and never will) we should all just ignore it until it goes away” OR you make allowances for official film critics and the like and we have a roger ebert-type situation where ppl trust the word of certain critics so thoroughly that they never watch media outside their bubble of immediate interest themselves and just parrot the opinions of critics they like. so media can live and die by the force of what the most popular film writers of our time have to say about it, regardless of their actual quality. (frankly, we’re kind of already nearing at that point in certain online circles with some popular video essayists/“video essayists”, but i digress.) also, like, as plenty of ppl have pointed out, hatewatching is Not the main source of engagement for most shows you and all your tumblr mutuals think sucks, because there are plenty of ppl earnestly watching these things because theyve been heavily advertised to/because theyre interested in the IP/because it Actually seems to align with their sense of humor/etc. so in the ideal no-hatewatching-ever society, only ppl who have no real reason to object to the media in question will watch it, making actual debate and critique of the media impossible. because if all you can really say to them in protest is something you read in a polygon article once, you cant pull genuine examples that you understand in full context and it gets increasingly difficult to argue your points with someone who actually Has seen the full thing, even if their conclusions are heavily flawed.

obviously this is all hypotheticals and extremes because its impossible for hatewatching and media critique to just cease. and i absolutely dont think theres like a moral issue with telling ppl to not watch the stupid scooby doo television show, let alone being annoyed at it all over your dash. but im starting to think that the refrain shouldnt be “dont hatewatch EVER” and should be “dont create a fandom out of hatewatching”. because really fandom IS the problem here- you can watch whatever the hell you want on your own time and i honestly have no issues with ppl constructively picking apart shows like velma on their own blogs but its another thing entirely to be making harry potter “fix it” aus in 2023, u know? or making countless posts of just out of context screencaps (of dialogue the creators of the show Knew you were going to make out of context screencaps of), w/ no further critique beyond “what were they thinking?!?”-type captions. idk. just hatewatch and engage critically.

and pirate whatever you’re watching. obviously.

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro lmao my favorite faketivism social media trend rn is that hollow tunnel vision shit that goes like. “[person that is blatantly experiencing symptoms of a different but similar mental illness/disability], is just them FAKING [illness they claim to have], which is ABLEIST, bc they are PRETENDING” like honey if theyre experiencing delusions abt what they have going on or are self harming/being dangerous for ‘attention’ tm or are having unyielding obsessive thoughts abt their health or perhaps maybe its just that like idk medical science (which has been ableist and wrong before!) just hasnt caught/studied their issue enough yet. they are not ableist for not accurately recognizing the root problem theyre experiencing, they are in fact still obviously mentally ill and deserve not just professional help for the issues they are experiencing, but they need your fuckin support, respect, and some basic maturity honestly??? man can yall try and filter your actions for bias sometimes, grow up and stop bein selfish. i mean its truly just cruel and self centered to reject others and act like theyre bad and therefore arent ‘allowed’ to get help for themselves if they make a mistake and put themselves in your space when they dont align perfectly with you. like. stop the annoying clique behavior actually thats so ugly to keep perpetuating, you should be capable of dealing with this using an ounce of sympathy and tact. just bc they got the diagnosis wrong doesnt mean you get to try and ban them from the mental illness/disability community, as if this ‘mental illness/disability diagnosis’ concept really is just a ticket to get into a fun lil secret community area to you and not kinda also about uhm, Social Protection From Oppressive Forces, And Medical Analysis That Can Legally Give You Access To The Assistance You Require To Function And Thrive Happily On A Daily Basis , WHICH MATTERS, NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE, OR HOW ~WRONG~ YOU ARE THE FIRST TIME, OR WHO YOU SEEK OUT FOR SUPPORT, BC HOW DARE YOU DO THAT RIGHT, ASK PPL FOR SUPPORT??? LIKE IM,,,,, LITERALLY HOW DO YOU UNDERDEVELOPED ASSHOLES SLEEP AT NIGHT WITH ALL THE FAKE MORAL BULLSHIT HASHTAGS IN UR BIOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CAUSING UNBRIDLED SOCIAL HARM TO WHOEVER U WANNA SINK UR CLAWS INTO LITERALLY WHENEVER ITS CONVENIENT TO VALIDATE ALL THE HIDDEN GROSS TRAITS YOU HAVENT UNWORKED YET BC U WANT CLOUT AND NOT PROGRESS

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

[somedayslater]

ok last spam of me bc of this chapter i swear lol

but how did everyone understood the sentence “you... would you believe me ?” of MGS ?

because im seeing ppl interpretations being “he needs HT to still believe him, to have someone trust in him”. which is a cool interpretation but i actually interpreted that in a totally other way ! I think MGS is asking HT to stop believing in what he just said, aka “its my own problem, i can solve it”. No he cant solve it ! no he cant take it anymore and he needs someone to help him ! its so obvious he cant solve this problem, but he cant admit it. he’s asking HT if HT continues to believe in MGS false bravado and, frankly, utter bullshit. He needs someone to tell him “no you cant solve it on your own, just let yourself be helped. im here”.

i dont know if im explainnig well, so like lets see panel by panel  :

First, we have MGS being totally burn out, desperate. He cant pretend anymore ; hes not fine, hes not angry, hes just suffering and wants things to stop just for a while. He doesnt have strenght anymore and he completely lets his guard down, prompted by HT silent listening and desperate hug. He is, at least, honest. (why does it have to take so much fr you to be honest little mo T^T)

Second : then, he seems to recover a little, remember where he is and with who. Almost by instinct, he returns to his refrain : its doesnt concern you, i can do it myself, whats it to you, i dont know you, blabla.... He gives HT a weak shove, trying to hold on to his usual “badass” (*kof kof*), self-relient, independant persona, but its obvious he cant really bring himself to play this part fully rn. his own voice doesnt even follow him, what with the bubble being all... not-round. he still fighting to preserve the walls he always have around him, but hes just so weak tonight, he cant.

And third : he turns around and maybe im reading too much into it, but the wide-eyed, the hesitation in his face, his unspilled tears.... I think the walls are cumbling. He doesnt know what to believe anymore. Can he solve it by himself ? really ? he cant even believe that himself. So he’s asking HT, i think, if he still should believe in this lie. If he have to assume this self-independant badass persona again, or if he can just let go and confess that no, he cant solve it, and maybe its not his own problem anymore. “do you believe in the lies i keep telling myself ? should i still believe in it ?” He cant tell he needs help directly, he cant totally succomb to the despair in front of HT. He’s letting HT taking the decision for the both of them, and HT gentle kiss (”im here. you’re not alone.”) is a wonderful answer.

(thanks @alexc1ting​ for the translation and your wonderfull and quick work !! i know you’re not a professional translator nor speak current chinese so i cant imagine how much work it take to translate it <3 <3 maybe “would you believe me” is not a perfect translation but i still want to read too much into it lol)

[randombubblegum]

hiii syd hope you are well. alright,

the thing that gets me most mad about travis rn is that i can see him spiralling into a pit of awsten-esque parasocial mooching. especially in his discord server, it's honestly disconcerting how he saw all the shit awsten goes through and also encourages in order to "maintain" this business model, so to speak, and was like, "sure why not." like it's getting pretty bad in there...tempted every day to save my money and leave but it's kind of like watching a house silently burn down in the middle of the night.

plus as a Travis Enjoyer (debatable these days honestly) myself, these people are sooo weird about their interest in him but the worst part is they refuse to keep it in a designated space AWAY from him. they openly tweet about how he's their bestie like they did with awsten pre-new year's and i don't love where it's all going.

okay, that's all. sorry for the pessimism that's just the frontline perspective. i try to keep that discord muted and only look occasionally. love yaaa bye 🤪

oofa doofa……that is a lot!!! and frankly i trust your take bc this is exactly what ive also been seeing from travis basically since the discord was established. he has NO understanding of parasociality or what it even means as a concept, clearly, and apparently has managed to NOT learn at all since the very beginning of the podcast when they were reading fic without author permission and when he was *checks notes* reading multiple chapters of a very poorly written fic that included hatefic elements about his real friends REAL girlfriends. interesting!

the people who think travis is their friend and say so publicly are fucking deranged. i mean that. somehow the most insane, socially maladjusted, freakshow subset of parxies i have EVER seen and that is saying something. literally saw one of them virtue signal on twitter about someone making a tame joke about furry porn (literally just mentioning the concept of furry porn to someone who….. writes furry books?) as if that was something egregious and inappropriate while ALSO running a fucking giveaway for his books with the specific goal of befriending TRAVIS IN REAL LIFE!!!! like they throw money at him on venmo to try and be his friend!!! and also i have to go ahead and mention yes this is also the person who wrote weirdly invasive shipping fic about travis’ irl friends yet continues to interact with him as if theres not a massive parasocial fan boundary being crossed there ;)

the worst fucking part about it all is that as objectively weird and insane and CREEPY they are in that discord (ive seen the screenshots), travis just lets it slide?? encourages it by responding???? i DONT understand how youve been bffs with the object of parasocial standom for this long and somehow not understood it at all. like as a concept. i get you wanna plug your books and you need readers but i promise you this is gonna bite you in the ass. maybe sooner than you think. what happens when something unsavory from your past comes to light and these people cannibalize you?? what happens when one of them gets too fucking weird and shows up at your literal house? starts telling people youre dating? you open an ugly ugly box when you fail to maintain the fan/creator boundaries like this!!!!!!!

anyway i wouldnt blame you for leaving but promise me before you do youll like drop a logical argument pointing out the hypocrisy and lack of basic social boundaries in there just to torch the earth LOL ill even help you write up the comment if u want. im just so sick of these ppl having the gall to act like this and then also have the gall to chastise other fans for anything

[violentviolette]

hi! need some advice, if that's alright?

i struggle with both npd and aspd, along with severe schizophrenia; all of that makes me be stuck in this circle of "people whom i care about want the worst for me and mock me behind my back" delusion, which then spirals into a narc crash and so on. i logically know that it's not true, however it's been quite a big problem these past few months. i don't know how to deal with it and, frankly, i am tired of it.

thank you in advance, and hope your day went well.

this is definitely a difficult thing and I still do struggle with similar feelings often especially when I'm manic so solidarity anon. its not an easy thing to deal with or unwrite from ur brain and so good for u for being able to recognize it and for looking for ways to combat it

for me i find things like saving screenshots of positive things ppl have said to me, or letters theyve written me, or even rereading old conversations where we were having a good time helps remind me of the truth

also, it seems a little weird and dumb, but forcing my brain to internalize the truth by saying it over and over again. so everytime I start to spiral I will get up and walk around or do something else while repeating over and over "my friends care about me. I know my friends enjoy my presence, even if I'm.annoying sometimes they won't just abandon me, they find value in being around me. I trust that they are not pretending to care about me, I am not friends with the kind of people who would do that to me. I think highly of my friends and they aren't bad people who are just out to hurt me" and everytime I start to argue those points I actively tell myself "no. I'm not going to give space to things I know are lies. I'm not going to allow my brain to hurt me for no reason. I dont deserve to feel worthless"

it also helps to start doing those things when u aren't feeling a low too, so like, when ur feeling a good feeling, taking a moment to say "this is the feeling I need to remember next time because this is the truth. this is how people feel about me" because then it makes it easier to remember that emotion next time ur low and internalize it

that doesnt always stop everything 100% and is definitely something that works better the more u do it. but our brains are very good at absorbing the messages they get given, and so in order to unwrite the negative messaging we have to constantly bombard ourselves with positive messaging

[pilotheather]

hey i never really watched or followed the chibnall era what was wrong with his writing that made people happy he’s gone

i think this will get you different opinions based on who you ask.

a LOT of people were extremely unhappy with the s12 timeless child plot twist. which, if you don't know: basically he redestroyed gallifrey, and revealed the doctor is not a timelord at all, but was instead the progenitor OF the timelords (a child that kept regenerating, even when they died) and that she was tortured on as a child, being repeatedly killed to realise the secret behind her regenerative abilities, to create the timelord race and then had her mind wiped.

which, im not a fan of. some ppl are? but mostly it panned: lots of ppl are unhappy, bc theyre saying it's "ruining the lore"; personally i dont mind since dw is fast and loose with its canon - and im moreso unhappy about centreing the doctor as, like, the big important chosen one in the universe (like blech) bc its just such a stale narrative decision.

but even before that there was a lot of criticism of chibnalls writing. and again: ur gonna get different opinions on who you ask. there's, uh, for example... a LOT of ppl (off tumblr, mostly) who tout it as sjw bullshit (yawn) bc of jodie and the diverse tardis team. that's bs outrage over nowt, ofc. but like- other than that its just... the writing. yeah, some ppl like it but ik a lot are unahppy with it for different reasons.

and to, like, summarise my own thoughts on chibbers writing: there's LOTS of little things that sort of build up for me. but at the crux of it? personally i dont think the man can write sci-fi - like, at all. thats my own personal main gripe with him. i hear he's good at straightforward drama: whilst ive never seen broadchurch myself, a lot of ppl whose opinions i trust liked it well enough; and furthermore, when it came to torchwood, he did have one or two eps in there that i liked in premise. however, when it comes to sci-fi, i respectfully think he just flounders. like he just cant integrate those other skills he has into a scifi story. the tardis was super overcrowded in s11&s12 (and that brought its own issues) but even still it was sort of... laughable, how much development the companions got. a lot of the time they'd sit there like pints of milk and just?? not really do anything? it got a little better in s12- but its like... he doesnt know how to handle a sci-fi storyline, whilst also exploring the characters in tandem and its like theyre just theyre as objects to move things along. its really fuckin weird.

like, in the most recent episode (last years NY's special, Revolution of the Daleks) the pacing was so strange. there's this whole section in the middle of all the action, where they just STOP and talk inside of the tardis. and don't get me wrong - i dont mind a heart to heart! but a lot of the companions are, like, purely telling and not showing their personality msot of the time - and thats it! its so... stale. they just stand around, state something about themselves and then just do nothing half the time? bc he just doesn't know how to use them in the stories. unlike in rtd or moffat era, where you'd have the companions jumping in and actually interacting with stuff- you'd know its just... like theyre being swept away by the plot. and you could frankly cut them out of almost all of the episodes, replace them with a sonic screwdriver or some other technobabble and it just wouldnt make any damn difference to the vibe of the ep, which is a shame bc they had PROMISE as ideas but they just don't pull their weight.

and i think that's just... super unfortunate. bc a lot of the pull with nuwho especially IS the companions and their personalities and when theyre just flat cardboard cutouts its got no energy. not to mention, like, the companions really facilitate a lot of the plots themselves- not the other way round! having companions ask questions, explore, and make decisions and react to stuff... that's IMPORTANT to really realising a lot of it. there's been a lot of times in eps where i was watching it and i just WANTED desperately for one of them to do something, to ask the doctor about it but like... she kind of just stands around and talks to herself? then there's a canned comment abt how theyre the #fam? its like. ok.

and then its like- maybe if they were being pushed to the side, and the show was servicing plot over characters that would be ONE thing but its also like i get a LOT of insecurity in general from chris when it comes to sci-fi writing, too. which ok, dude. but its like- he'll introduce a concept, but never fully explore it; he'll just drop it, and introduce something else; and then drop that and move on. and its like... we dont get any actual playing with whats going on? its like-

its just all... ultimately very superficial. like ai generated doctor who. i dont want to say it hasnt got heart, but sometimes it really feels like it you know? and a lot of it is just.. flat. because you can bring in lots of cool stuff (visuals, bring back jack, build a found family type, give us a fun quirky doctor) but if you just don't actually put work into making it all happen then its just going to be like, pretty wrapping paper on an empty box, yeah? and so its like- its like theres PIECES in a lot of s11 and s12 that are right, and they're fine, and they could make for good stories but he just doesn't know how to use them. like, at all.

and there's honestly like. a lot of other... smaller things that i could mention. i feel like theres just like... lots of little issues wrong with it all, but theyre all so fundamental and they all just build up and its just- it just culminates in bad writing, man. not moffat type of bad. but just... nothing interesting at best; frustrating at worst.

ofc theres ppl who will disagree with me and like it and thats fine. and theres also ppl who will have other things they dont like abt it that they can bring up. i would advise lookin thru ppl talking abt it on here more, omg. get a nice lil crossection of all the little messes ppl babble on abt.

[meru90]

whoa guys i didn't even get the chance to check out my inbox properly after that anon drama thank you all for your kind words (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) 💕 💕 💕 im just gonna post sum of them under the read more 

it warms my heart to see that one hater equals 10x more love and support lol you guys are the cutest 

hecking-good-shit schrieb an meru90:i dont understand how ur getting so much hate cuz ur a lovely person and a fantastic artist!! ily you fucking blessing to this world

it’s just ppl being bored i guess lol 

hmm-cats schrieb an meru90:I tried to report the justthebluegrass dude but tumblr said that if the dude wants to be reported fully, the person who had their art stolen needs to do it. (Sorry if I sound like an idiot, just thought I let you know😊) Also you don’t need to listen to cowards like that, it’s quite clear the dude can’t think straight, if he steals stuff from the left and right, plus can’t use proper grammar lol.

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Love how the reposter just went on anon instead of staying off it the cOWARD

honestly? it was peak comedy 

leandersluckylady schrieb an meru90:Geez! It never ceases to amaze me how people feel is perfectly acceptable to act like a dickhead when they submit something anonymously! 1. Your art is amazing! 2. Every time you post my day gets brighter! 3. I apologize for not expressing how much I enjoy your content sooner! I hope you’re having a lovely morning!day! or night!XOXO

same to you thank you so much 

Anonym schrieb an meru90:since SOME people are being annoying bitches im here to say that your art is beautiful and i luv u also take a glass of water and drink it (or use it to drown the haterz)

THNAKSS 

Anonym schrieb an meru90: Don’t listen to people that say your art is crap or any of the (frankly horrible) things they said! You’re art is amazing and I literally love everything you’ve shared with us! It’s amazing that you put your work online for everyone to see and I really admire that! Keep drawing great things and being awesome! 💕💖💕

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Hello? Your art gives me l i t e r a l joy. Thank you for your work💕💕💕💕

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Man thieves these days are damn gutsy huh? They get all kinds of arrogance from anonymity but wow have the tables turned for this particular criminal. Anyways Mo Dao is love, Mo Dao. Thank you for blessing me with your art and stay chill

Anonym schrieb an meru90:they created bubblegum flavoured what now? and here i thought mcdonalds could be trusted (somewhat)

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I don’t get it. Why are people being dicks to you on anon? Your art is lovely.

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Ur a good person with really good art. Don’t listen to the haters uwu

Anonym schrieb an meru90:MERU PROTECTION SQUAD WHERE U AT?? UR ART IS BEAUTIFUL AND DON’T WORRY I, AS PART OF THE MERU PROTECTION SQUAD HAVE NOTIFIED THE OTHER ARTISTS OF THE REPOSTS AND REPORTED THE ACCOUNT PLUS @ THE ANON: I BET U CAN’T DRAW SO DON’T JUDGE THANK U.

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Your art deserves all the UwU. I love all your work so much >.< it sucks that you have to deal with art stealers and haters thou :/

Anonym schrieb an meru90:HI YOUR ART IS AMAZINGGGGG AND SO ARE YOUUUUU

Anonym schrieb an meru90:You dealing with that mean commenter gives me life omg, good job

the best thing that rules this antis up is just to ignore the hate ahah 

daddydickpeach schrieb an meru90:Ily !!!! Have a nice day >:)

overmelted schrieb an meru90:Your art???? Iconic and beautiful and the best thing ever??? I love your work and also anon hate is so 2010

rly-not-an-alien schrieb an meru90:Don’t listen to haters, these people are so toxic that it is not enough for them to poison themselves with their bile, they throw it out on talented people to try to break them. Your art style is adorable and glorious!~❀

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Tell that awful anon to 1 v 1 me on minecraft I’ll take them down

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Hi! I love your art lots!!! Hope you get to continue it in peace!!!

lieskilledmyjournals schrieb an meru90:That was the funniest thing I've seen all day; I guess they forgot to make it anonymous

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Bro I love you so much 💕 your art is great

Anonym schrieb an meru90:*sees anon hate and anon forgetting to send their ask as anonymous” so anyways i want chocolate and i adore your art so keep being you, you’re amazing

Anonym schrieb an meru90:ur valid dont listen to that anom

boshberrysfanblogsfanblog schrieb an meru90:In👏this👏house👏we👏love👏and👏support👏meru

artist-on-edge schrieb an meru90:your art is a fucking drug that anon can eat a bag of dicks

YALL BE LIKE 

[groundramon]

So curiouscat has stupid short reply lengths so i had to post this here

Tw for: bullying, fatphobia, discussion of sexual harassment (oh it feels good to have enough characters to write a proper tw)

So it might surprise ppl to know that my favorite frontier character is JP, the raging heterosexual. But like, to me...hes so much more than that. JP is a character that I saw so much of myself in. His social isolation from his peers, leading him to push away others to avoid getting hurt...its not that people outwardly bully him, its that no one sees behind his surface and nobody bothers to truly care about him. People only recognize him as the class clown - no one actually wants to hang out with him. And that...that hit me HARD as a kid. It was the experience i had growing up. I wasn't outright bullied, I just felt...excluded. Judged. I wanted friends but was too afraid of being judged or excluded. And sometimes it caused me to be dismissive of genuinely good people. And quite frankly, that's STILL a problem I have, not even a year after an exfriend of 7 years said that our interests were one of the things driving us apart. My intense fear of being ridiculed for my interests drove me as a kid, and sometimes even now as an adult, to completely stop caring what my peers thought about anything. For all intents and purposes, im a bit of a hipster - i hate on what's popular and i tote my more obscure interests. Because I feel like that's the only way. Obviously i have fairly mainstream interests but lemme tell ya, i went to a christian school in the late 2000s/early 2010s - goddamn pokemon was obscure/counter-culture in a setting like that. But despite my desperate attempts not to care, I DO care, just like JP. It fuckin stung. And now i have depression and social anxiety whoops. Honestly ngl, it got so bad that I genuinely projected that it was implied JP was isolated for being fat/not conventionally attracted, until i was like "wait a minute...frontier didnt go that hard"

But what makes JP such a tragic character to me now is that at the end of Frontier nowadays when i watch it, im left asking myself....DID JP make any friends?

I know JP is a raging heterosexual but quite frankly, he is dealt such a shitty, judgemental hand for an innocent crush. JP's most nsfw fantasy is marrying Zoe and holding her hand, like... And yet, despite this, he's accused time and time again of being a perv. JP is, well, a big fuckin guy. As such, he thinks "its probably a good idea to let all my friends climb up this latter before me, so i dont crush them all if i fall - plus ill look chivalrous too!" But he unfortunately forgets that Zoe has a skirt on and, y'know, not pants. I understand Zoe's hesitation completely - i wouldnt trust a man who kept hitting on me either. Her relationship with JP is completely justified. Like, its not like JP doesn't take no for an answer - he just still has a crush on her. Yes he should probably give it a rest but like, he's 13 and his most nsfw fantasy is to hold hands and marry and respect his crush. Inb4 you say "but its a kids show of course it is-" literally everything about Zoe is sexualized so no the fuck its not lol

What gets me the most though is the beach episode... again, not because of Zoe. She thinks someone has peeped on her (understandable but it was a digimon) and confronts them about it. But koji and takuya IMMEDIATELY suspect JP, and only believe his immediate denial when Tommy points out that JP was with them the whole time. Like first of all, YOU FORGOT HE WAS THERE??? it took the baby of the group pointing that out for you to remember???? Second of all, JP has never done anything to warrant not being believed - again for zoe id understand, a bitch has gotta be weary, but not for the guys? And thirdly, and perhaps most importantly of all, YOU GUYS CONSIDER SOMEONE YOU'D EASILY SUSPECT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT YOUR "FRIEND"???? i would NEVER be friends with someone who i could see sexually harassing another one of my friends!! What the shit!! I realize they're kids but GEEZ. And i know its implied JP only cares about the perpetrator because he likes Zoe but idc, despite being persistent in his crush JP has literally NEVER done ANYTHING to disrespect women. And if the scene where takuya and jp run into Zoe's changing room to see whats wrong after she screams counts - well lol takuya was there too.

Zoe was dealt a terrible hand by the writers (worse than JP imo) so I understand people being weary of JP, but - in the dub at least - he literally did nothing wrong... dont confuse the writers sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic with JP sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic.

And im gonna say it - JP is only treated this way cuz hes fat lol. Its not a coincidence that the only MC in the digimon anime who's treated like a perv (despite the fact that they failed in writing one, cuz hes not a perv) is the fat guy. Japan LOVES the fat otaku stereotype (America, look what you did, you made it fatphobic) and in JP's case he's treated completely differently because he's fat. Takuya doesn't have an explicit crush on Zoe but just look at how he treats her vs JP. And which one is demonized lmao? Like, frontier has major problems in general, but to me this isnt a coincidence.

Also, I think JP's crush on zoe is initially just flirting/wanting to impress a girl to fill the void in his heart, but then he genuinely comes to respect her and like her for who she is. He likes that she's kind but stands up for herself and even though he's hopelessly infatuated with her, he just wants her to be happy, even if its not with him. He relates to her struggles to fit in despite not understanding how someone so beautiful and charismatic (in his eyes) could be disliked by her peers.

Hackers Memory discussion coming up, but the spoilers are minor/vague. Frank discussion of sexual harassment and...pedophilia i guess? But its like...ephebophilia, not literal children.

I realize the Story games and the anime are two different beasts entirely, and Cyber Sleuth especially is targeted at an older audience. BUT... compare how JP is treated in Frontier to how Chitose and even Keisuke are treated in HM. Chitose goes after countless women and isn't even reprimanded for going after someone he considers a CHILD. To clarify - Ryuji and Chitose both call Arata a child. Arata is canonically older than Yuuko. Chitose flirts with Yuuko. It is gross. Like he gets the physical embodiment of the cold shoulder and you get to insult him for it, but that's not proper reprimanding. In comparison, yes JP is older than Zoe...by a year/grade. But JP gets accused of SEXUAL HARASSMENT BY HIS "FRIENDS" and Chitose just gets "haha good ol chitose, hes a wild one." Plus i think Chitose and JP get the shit smacked out of each other an equal amount of times in the story, which like...one of these people is worse than the other!

Then there's Keisuke, the protagonist of HM, who's significantly better than Chitose but still gets dirty thoughts about Yuuko and is only reprimanded by Erika. And honestly I love Erika but HM plays up the tsundere heterosexual couple aspect. So imagine the only person who calls you out on your shit is your fucking love interest, who also beat the shit out of you with a plush toy for entering her room without knocking, not knowing anyone was in there (id say hes not a playboy but considering he befriends a stranger to practice "getting chicks" at chitose's recommendation, hes totally a playboy) and yet all she does when you start thinking weird shit about Yuuko is be like "hey. Stop that. Get some help"

Also Erika's best friend is chitose so like, someone save this poor girl PLEASE

But my point is that Chitose is conventionally attractive and...well they play up the idea that Keisuke isn't but hes not conventionally unattractive like JP is.

Gee, i wonder why they're treated differently? /s

TLDR: JP drinks respecting women juice and i kin him

[dailyironwing]

Is it just me but I was sooo impressed by s2 iron fist. Im asian american, and i totally understood the criticism danny and iron fist faced, but i held out for the show cuz i just loved the characters so much. I think they really came back and killed it with every aspect of the show and responded to every complaint they faced in s1. Like first: the fight scenes were soooooooo fucking fantastic, like i can tell they went 9999999% harder for this season cuz last season's fight scenes were eh (1/?)

(2/?) and like second: the writing was soooooo good like I was continuously drawn in and it never felt dragged or slow (like last season) and the way they balanced the cute/funny casual scenes with the characters with the intense plot-heavy scenes I feel was executed so well. Third: the charcter developement that everyone had was. just. phenomneal. Imma start with colleen cus MY GIRL GOT THE ARC AND DEVELOPEMT SHE DESERVED. like i screamed when she got the fist cuz it was so unexpected but so..

(3/?) it was so unexpected but at the same time so perfect, that i ended up being like duh??? why wouldnt she get it?? which is impressive cuz i feel the defender's and marvel shows have a bit of trouble with being predictable, but with iron fist i was shocked and so satidified. With Danny, my precious golden boi, I was so happy too. The way they handled his character, the white washing, the white savior trope, and his obvious white billionaire priviledge was the biggest hhmmmm for me in S1 ...

(4/?) But the fact that they continuosly pointed out and commented on his privilege, and how they explored the idea that he shouldn't have the fist and and that he had to work to earn it, I felt was SOO important. I love danny, and his sunny kind of child like personlaity is what drew me in, and I hope with S2 ppl can really appreciate him as a complex character that you can leanr from. Like for me personally, i relate to him and his tendency to be emotional and how he handles it, for me it...

(5/?) ... was so comforting to watch and to relate to. PPl gotta stop witht the quick assumption and hate and learn to rlly appreciated stories and characters that dont fit to the perfect mold of what ppl want or think is correct. As for the other characters, I felt the same satisfaction. Davos, although scary and extremist, a part of me cared for him and understood him, and seeing sucha complex antagonist was so refreshing considering the other villains in marvel...

(6/?) also with ward and joy, seeing them part from one another and seeing who they are as individuals was so great to see. I love ward now and his character developlment is sooooo good. also his new relationship with danny makes me cry and evertime he called danny his brother my heart swelled. Also with mary walker, i was a little scared that she would feel out of place in the show, but the way they integrated her storyline I felt was rlly creative, and im rlly excited to see where they go...

(7/?) ... with her character in the future. Overall, the show just felt perfect, which was a releifi cuz personally for me the 2nd seasons for Daredevil, Jessica JOnes, and Luke Cage felt a lil dissappointing. Like I saw the trend with destroyed relationships among the defenders and hated it. Ik colleen and danny arent together for now, but the relationship was nt unneccassarly destroyed, and i still feeels like they'll be canon and that this is just for them to grow as indivifuals.(8/8) Im praying to god w get a s3 cuz th potential for iron fist just fucking tripled in my opinion. With the new first powers, character dynamics, and plot lines, Im sosososososo excited for wats to come. Im just begging that it doesnt get canceled cuz ppl be sleeping on season 2's fantastic comeback from was was admittedly and mediocre season 1.

Hello anon! What can we say, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! We were very satisfied with this season too, possibly in ways we didn’t expect we would. Every character development was very on point and Colleen getting the fist managed to be both surprising and inevitable for reasons that weren’t just in-universe. It’s a brilliant move to give Danny the chance to start from scratch, find himself and earn his powers back knowing full well what it is about and how to use it. At the same time, Colleen gets to be the Asian IF so many people asked for and while I’m baffled at the idea that heroes have to be super-powered I certainly won’t complain if she of all people has a glowing fist of her own. It was very well thought out and I think it made a lot people very happy. I know some thought Danny was undermined in the process but I’ll disagree because it was, after all, his choice.

We agree, Danny is a sunshine puppy who deserves the best. We were never on board with the harsh criticism he’d been getting, but we were always aware that he needed to grow up and we trusted that the writers, whichever he got, would do him justice. And while I’ll concede that he’s privileged and there’s some undertones of white saviourism about him, I also thought he was sometimes unfairly attacked both on and off screen. It’s certainly more convenient to be born rich and powerful, and anyone can call him out on that if they will, but I don’t think anybody has mentioned enough how traumatized, abused and mistreated he has been for 15 years. He is a billionaire, but he’s also a 26-year-old who lost his parents at 10 and lived in terrible conditions ever since, and yet he manages to be kind, decent and hopeful. Harry Potter taught us that it’s ultimately our choices that define us, and I think Danny’s make up for his privilege pretty well. I acknowledge his flaws and faults, but I wish someone would also aknowledge the good in him.

Davos, then. I couldn’t wait for the show to be back to see what he had in mind: my guess is he did what many abused children do, repeating the pattern they themselves lived. There’s also a hint of fanatism to him that I find interesting, it feels very real and sometimes scarily so. Joy’s observations about him were very on point. I still hope he can be redeemed and he and Danny can be friends again, it was a beautiful relationship I wish I’d seen more of.

Ward is a fan fave with very good reason (I liked him with Misty a lot, with Bethany.... not so much) and Joy proved to be an asset for the show this year, I’m very happy with that! Her dynamics with both Mary and Walker were very interesting and I’m glad they’re not over (though Joy probabily isn’t). For the Meachums in particular, but for everyone, this seaso has been about finding purpose. Ward’s arc was possibly the most relatable, but really every character was out there trying to find themselves, which is very important for a show that targets, I assume, younger people than any other Marvel/Netflix does.

Last but not least, we too are optimistic about Ironwing! They did break up, but definitely not in a way that seems impossible to fix, and frankly that’s already more than we were expecting! It’s been a very strong, tight and entertaining season and we can’t wait for more.

[bangzchan]

nah she was just pretending to write in chinese by writing ching chong somethin somethin

Anonymous said:It was a drawing of a man eating with Japanese writing on the side. And Lea the racist wrote in the caption ‘ching chong’. That’s a derogatory term used to mock Chinese people. There was nothing vague about it. Quite frankly if you don’t find it racist then you’re part of the problem.

oh alright ,didnt know that. yikes.. i thought it was just about her translating smth incorrectly

Anonymous said:I don’t hate Lea, it’s just that she has a weird vibe. I don’t know how to explain it, they as a couple are strange. On the other hand I see the relationship of Maiken and Cengiz, they transmit a completely different energy, it’s nice to see them and it makes me very happy that they are together. I don’t know if it’s me but for me is very cringy when I see Lea 🤷🏻‍♀(sorry my english)

ur english is fine! i dont really know anythin about cengiz and maiken’s energy,dont even know what to think about henrik and lea’s tbh klsjdf but like i understand if one of them is more what you find better to follow/look at

Anonymous said:The Chinese thing was her literally uploading a pic of someone eating noodles and the caption was Ching Chong soo.. it was on her public Facebook post and it was from a few years back she was probably 13😬 soo Yes is wrong but she was an actual child living in one of the whitest countries in the world so unless she does something like that now I think people should move on and stop minding her Also I know this because back when those hate accounts happened they uploaded this and I was curious 

i mean if she doesnt see it even now that it was a bad thing to do then like…doesnt excuse her where shes from and all.. im not a fan of ppl bringing up something from years ago though especially when they were around that young age, bc we’ve all done smth we now know was unaccaptable, im not trying to justify anything or whatever i just think we used to be put out to lots of things that were so yikes now that you think back to it (and even now but now youve got more of an opportunity to look things up and everything?) like maybe a movie you used to find funny now you watch again and its so cringy, the humour is just racist/sexist/homophobic lines but no one said anything about it and its sad bc it shows how you were brought up and how your parents/relatives and other ppl around you didnt “teach” you what is supposed to be common sense..you know what i mean? its just very frustrating 

Anonymous said:Lol Lea posted a pic of herself kissing Henrik and wrote the caption as “congratulations for the gullruten award henrik and tarjei” like wHeRe’s TaRjEi and wHaT dOeS tHiS pIcTuRe hAvE tO dO wItH their gullruten award lmao. She’s just 1 insecure little girl who cant stay quiet without shoving in peoples face that shes with Henrik when He’s out there MAKING OUT with TARJEI on LIVE TV. Honestly why is she evn with Him if shes so insecure&doesnt trust him. She doesnt have to prove herself to d world

I meant.. Henrik clearly flirts with everyone.. its kinda his nature. But he isnt cheating on her (i hope so) and she should stop being so paranoid and try to prove herself to the world that Henrik is still hers. And honestly… if shes that scared.. why is she with him.. this all becomes Eva’s storyline here.

Most of the time Lea did that whenever someone talked about henjei and that it was real. And if peoples hate comments bothers her so much. theres something called turning off the comment section and putting your account on private. She only wants the attention. Theres a big chance she started dating him for the fame but then fell for him later.

im sorry, im not tryin to defend lea and honestly i couldnt care less about their relationship but its been bugging me…… just because she posts pics of herself with her boyfriend doesnt mean shes insecure in their relationship or that she doesnt trust him.. could be, but neither me or you know that and almost everyone in a relationship posts lots of pictures of themselves like theres nothing unusual about it?? also they were together/going out way before s3 got big so like ..she was proud of her boyfriend so she decided to post a pic of them, congratulating.. also the “clearly flirts with everyone” its called being nice and friendly to ppl? and no offense but instead of telling her to go private or turn off comments, maybe ppl should stop commenting hate about how shes ~using henrik when we dont know anything..do yall realize its not your relationship/life and that you dont know more than what they share? theyre both adults they can decide who they want to hang out with and if its good or not

[littlebabycrybtch]

tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.

imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????

ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!! 

ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.

listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back??? 

you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this. 

eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 10 - "I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style" ~Amy

Colin survived omg omg. I went on call with him after tribal council and I smoothed things over with us. So I'm like the only person he's not hating right now. Also I literally told Colin everything. I told him exactly what happened which is so awkward if anyone finds out I tolf him that they all backstabbed him. Also Elle cannot be trusted!! Why would she do this? She's probably working with Colin and at this point I'm ok with voting off Elle. She really backstabbed the entire plan. Also Elle's idol is gone so it would be easy. BUT, we need to rid of the advantages that remain. There's not any time to get off people I don't trust. We need to expose every last idol we can. Also I know Brayden has an idol and I'm working with him but I might have to backstab that guy because if he makes it to final tribal council with an idol that will be big on his resume. Honestly Brayden will be seen as the most popular social player so that will look really good compared to me. So I might have to backstab my best friend before the time runs out. 

Wtf was that tribal. Literally besides Colin, the only person left out of the vote and lied to by my own partner. Just when i thought things were looking up for me in this game, the rug gets pulled from underneath me again. I literally dont feel like i can trust any of them but for the sake of playing nice, I have to pretend that everything is fine and be a fake bitch for a day or two. Ugh 😑

I understand Colin is probably really upset and hurt because he felt personally close with me, but I don’t understand why my reasons for not saving him weren’t valid. When he tried to save Dennis, it rubbed HIMYM the wrong way and I didn’t want to betray 5 people for 1 person the same way he did that because it’s what gave everyone distrust. He said he didn’t tell anyone about HIMYM until after he heard his name, but that’s a lie as Josh and Jay both heard of it by round 8. I said that and then he said “well that’s still one person”. It’s more than one and even then, one person is one person. You gave us a reason to distrust you and that’s why you were targeted. I never told anyone about his SWP because I didn’t want to give him a reason to tell others I’m not trustworthy or for him to target me with. Ultimately, of course I knew Jay wasn’t going to send me out, but there was a real concern that Babs had an idol and that between me and Anastasia, I would go. So yeah, my concerns were indeed valid as it could’ve gone to a point where I go. I really want immunity this round. So bad. But if it’s not me I’ll be ok with my allies having it. But please I want immunity!!! 

[this was earlier, but put it wherever✨] Sooooo so much drama these days, I used to be in an alliance with Jay, Brayden, and Anastasia but they're all in a megasix alliance except Jay is relatively new bc they swapped him out for Colin recently, Jay is completely in Jodi's pocket and RIP honestly bc I was hope our little Corn Tribe (we're both from Ohio lol) would make it far, Colin and I are firmly allies now and we have an alliance with Amy (who is currently Colin's no. 1 ally and I respect that she risked it all for him lol understandable) and are goin to make another one with Josh. Josh and I are allies and I trust him a lot partially bc ppl lied to him almost as much as ppl lied to me and Colin and being at the bottom is a good way to know your allies are true, they have little to gain 😂 oh and Brayden and Anastasia and I are still "allies" and idk Jay hasn't talked to me yet sooooo let's see what happens there!

I accidentally said that Josh was on the bottom out loud when I was answering him for the question who doesnt deserve to be here. Omg I literally ruined our relationship. I am sooo stupid. I literally told him i was sorry and he said K. Ok but he is on the bottom. Obviously he doesn't need me as an ally and that whole side has a plan. Omg Im ready to be blindsided lol. But also maybe dont vote out me. Josh really isnt that forgiving is he? That is crazy to me. I wouldve pretended to forgive at least. Now I feel even more awful because he never said he forgave me. Pain. Anyways I screwed up and now I'm just praying Josh doesn't gun after me now. But I did tell Josh the whole truth and apologized genuinly about the situation. Oh god I hope he doesnt hate me. I dont even want him as a jury vote I just cant take anyone hating me or disliking me. It makes me want to throw up. But I deserve to feel this way since I emberassed him infront of everyone i am so so stupid. Anyways time to plan who to get out. OMG JOSH JUST TEXTWD ME "It's fine Im on the bottom. My feelings dont matter" WHAAATTT OF COURSE HIS FEELINGS MATTWR I CANT BELOEBE IHURT HIS ACTUAL FEELINFA I AM SO STUPID WTF I AM AWFUL I WILL GO APOLOGIZE MORW NOW GOODBYE

it appears either jodi or jared are going tonight, and although they’re my allies, i selfishly don’t care. I’ll still be in the game, so that’s nice i suppose. I love jodi, but she’s paranoid and it’s a whole deal trying to work with her, if she got voted out i could maybe get some sleep every once in awhile. I love her to death, but frankly whatever happens tonight as long as it ain’t me I don’t really care. Hell, even if it is me, then whatever lol, I can get caught up on sleep then. Frankly this is where the game gets ugly, and i’m cool with staying out of the drama. it still sucks that josh hates me though, i genuinely like him, and i feel like he doesn’t want to be my friend beyond the game anymore. To me, i’m going to keep doing me. I’m gonna chill, i’m gonna relax, and i’ll play when i feel like it. My mental health is important, so even if i’m not playing as hard as others, it’s just a game. If i lose, i will not lose any sleep over it. 

DAMN last tribal really killed the vibes in the game. no one wants to talk. everyone is scared of stuff getting leaked or turning on people. BUT ON THE FLIP side that means everyone is flipping on everyone SOMEHOW amy managed to escape unscathed. They have NO idea she's in with us and with them. She's telling us everything. it's actually insane to watch her do it. Truly international superspy behavior.   We have our numbers and they have theirs. They made another majority alliance except they replaced me with Jay. Whatever, expected. its fine. I truly did not talk much to people before the challenge, I just laid back and let Amy gather information for us. The immunity challenge was absolutely crazy good for us. Elle winning immunity is perfect, and the fact they GAVE AMY the other immunity is also amazing, a testament to how much they do trust her. THEN THIS IS WHERE THINGS STARTED GETTING EXCITING so I still have my handy chaos idol. I was thinking about numbers and I came to the realization that we could get Jodi cirie'd out this tribal. Their side is splitting votes on Josh and I, and there's four of us. If we vote the other 4 people in that alliance and then play the chaos idol, it leaves Jodi the only one without a vote and she's automatically out. It was a huge risk but I brought this plan to Josh, Amy, and Elle. because of the touchy subjects it made me truly feel that I could trust my allies right now. I was voted "Who is your closest ally" and I'm almost certain it was those three that put me down. That means I can trust them with this plan. (I hope). Elle, however, brought up the very good point that Jodi might be idoled, it's very obvious for us to go after her. SO we also decided that we should leave no votes on Brayden and then theres a revote between the two. SO TLDR THE PLAN RN: play chaos idol and coordinate votes so there's a revote between Jodi and Brayden. Also we're telling everyone else our plan is to vote Jared, that way it's not too obvious we have shit up our sleeve. there is the prospect of them splitting the vote 3-3 and then we don't even need to use the chaos idol, we just have the numbers. The other option is they put all 6 votes on one person and then we do have to play it. Thats why its so good we have Amy as our inside source telling us everything that's going on with them. so yeah right now we're still playing it by ear. not a lot of people are online and available to we're just waiting to get it all sorted out. Updates soon! uwu

Hahahahaha omfg so after we yeeted out of last tribal and then elle used their idol apparently anastasia and jodi changed their vote to Babs so they still went home and we kept Colin's idol. We jumped back on the tribe call and it was only host Jay and Raffy left lol like we were ready for a tribe fight! But I think it turned out better because I am still getting all the info in the group. Touchy subjects was interesting and almost exposed us bc colin and jodi tied for closest allies lol which I'm sure it was like 3-3-whatever. But she said I'm the group maybe it was like 2-2-1s. So that's a relief. However. Everyone is being really quiet with me and our brayden - jodi - me alliance is silent. I'm concerned they think it is me who's leaking but from what I can tell jodi (and thus anastasia, brayden,jay, and jared automatically) believe it was elle who leaked the plan to vote colin. So idk how but I'm in the clear. I'm just waiting to be found out bc I'd be an easy vote out. BUT I think they believe I'm still with new himym because brayden chose to give me immunity in touchy subjects!! And elle got first out!! So we are both safe and the current plan for Jodi's group is to tell Colin josh and elle they are splitting but they will put all votes on josh so that colin flushes his idol. Except lol it's a chaos idol. And if that's the case colin wants me to vote him ☠️ but it actually keeps him safe so I'll do it. I would just hate for the chaos idol to be fake. I think I know where all remaining advantages are except the idol I think Jared has lol. So for the break down brayden has an idol he believes is real but is fake and he is not telling anyone in the group or jodi or me so as much as I like brayden I can't wait to see him play it and it's fake. Then Colin has Dennis's chaos idol and one more regular idol. I have the merge idol and a steal a vote. That leaves only jared's idol that we might be able to flush this go if they actually believe jared is the target from Josh elle colin. But if they don't we can leave votes off jared and jodi and we can vote out the unplayed idol or vote jodi out and her minions have to regroup. My biggest concern has been josh bc he really seems to not like me ☠️ and here I am risking it all to keep colin, elle, and josh in the game lol. So now colin elle and I have a three. Colin filled them in and they trust me. And we waited until josh calmed down bc he was really mad that I cut his rope in the challenge. Unfortunately I knew that he wasn't winning bc he's at the bottom, none of them were giving him immunity, and I needed to keep up the facade that I was with them 100% so I was guessing like everyone else on the most allies even though I knew it would be colin lol. So now colin has talked to Josh and josh knows about the chaos idol so I just hope he's 100% with us. Because if we play this right it's 4-4. And then I'm gonna have to reveal to them I have a steal a vote lol they might be upset I didn't tell them before but I've never said I didn't have anything (except to jodi whoops). Also now jodi is thinking worst case like wants me to say I'll vote out anastasia if it's a revote and also at 6. I was like "oh I'm a revote? I got you" as in if vote you out sorry girl. Listen I know I'm not winning and I know I'm not getting to the end because it would be stupid to take me at this point. I'm literally a double agent secret spy lol. However the entire jury WILL despise me but all I could hope is they respect the moves I made. But it seems like a lot of people in this game take things very personal so I really think it would be a completely bitter jury against me not that I'm getting there. I kind of don't want to use my steal a vote at 8 and hope they still think I'm with new himym because then we could simply idol where their vote is and I keep steal a vote for 6 and my idol for 5 and I'm golden lol 😂. And here I was gonna hard quit the game lol. I mean tbh they could just vote me here... Wait lol I'm immune jk thanks. Literally i think Babs is indifferent and dennis did like me but his vote would still go to colin. But if I was in f3 IMAGINE the story of have to tell lol and convince them all. It's the struggle of playing more behind the scenes but I really think someone is going to leave the info. I hope josh stays quiet until 7 when we should have numbers. Anyway all of this to say I wanted to play this game doing the absolute minimum and I'm spending hours and hours a day like copy pasting from the group to colin 😂 and now to our group. The problem is colin really believed jared when he said he'd flip and I was like colin no that's EXACTLY what he detailed he'd do in the group. And then Colin and josh were like wait anastasia and brayden may consider flipping and here I was like no y'all they are telling me / us they're saying that. Unless it's like a double play they are lying to you and that's their plan. All I can do is copy paste their exact messages and hope they believe me. I really do think they trust me bc I'm risking my life here. I just need to talk to Josh and explain the situation and I am with him not against him! Honestly this is such a great cast and they are playing very well. It'll be fun to see how it all works out. I don't think I'll be at the end but I would love to see underdogs take it. I would actually love josh elle and Colin at the end and I'd vote colin to win lol he put in work! I'd also vote anastasia to win because she has laid low so well with still having pull in the game. Idk it's a fun one that I think will blow up on me soon but I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style bc I'm just here to have fun not to win actually lol. I am writing this while on a flight so I'll have updates later. Oh right our 4 group plan is to use the chaos idol and throw votes around so that like 2 or 3 people don't have votes then they are the only ones vulnerable in the revote and everyone who got votes is safe. Then we can vote either jared or jodi like that's the thing if jodi doesn't play an idol here I don't think she has one or no one is giving her one. I think my only chance to make it farther is to let the 4 group know I'm with them 100% but still keep my idol for myself hopefully until 6 or 5 but lol idk about that. Like I can see them wanting to take me out then. Okay that's all my thoughts right now.

https://youtu.be/ji7K8HkLmRY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Ru1J0iXYA&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/rVRVR2zzkPc

https://youtu.be/PAjCL7-GWV

[😬 Not me completely forgetting to send this oops here i'll add a fun quote at the beginning] Jodi is Regina George, we are the schoolbus✨ Sooooooo Colin has a chaos idol how fun for him and tbh im kinda tired so here's the voting plan and the rest you can just kinda glean: Amy - Josh Elle - Colin Josh - Anastasia Colin - Jay ~~~

Edgic:

Power Ranking:

Amy: She has managed to escape suspicion from last round. Nobody believes her to be the rat leaking things to Colin. She is in the best position in this game right now being on all sides and having every single option open to her.

Colin: King of idols. King of chaos. He has it all locked down. Has capitalized on those the Jodi side has burned. Will continue to capitalize on it. The power struglle ends here.

Elle: Mostly just floating behind Colin’s shield which is what she should be doing atm.

Josh: If he stays out of people’s periphery, he can make it far. Might be dragged to end, but could make a great pitch for himself.

Jay: Ruined his position with multiple people last round. Is sort of in the middle? Sort of not? He is definitely aligned with Anastasia and Brayden who are protecting him.

Brayden: If he betrays Jodi, he will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to become a free agent instead of being locked into an alliance.

Anastasia: If she betrays Jodi, she will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to step away from Brayden and Jay who are clouding her good judgment. She is being iced from the other side.

Jared: I don’t know why he is going to use his idol on Jodi? His loyalty to her will be his downfall.

Jodi: Seems to have accepted being voted out this round. Seems to have backed herself into a corner based on her logic. Too worried about advantages to see the right path.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE THREE

“this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off!” - nash

HOH: Nash UPSIDE DOWN: Joey & Saira NOMINEES: Brianna & Gina POV: Jacob FINAL NOMINEES: Emma & Gina EVICTED: Gina (11-1), Jake (WALK)

ARIA

https://youtu.be/SyHPQkbxxw8

JOEY

WATCH THIS AGE LIKE MILK:

I feel great!!!!! Nash winning means my ass aint going up, I gave her 2 tokens, and she gave me 1, and I feel fantastic heading into this week

SAIRA

i feel okay about nash being hoh, she wasn't my first choice but i don't think im in any danger of being nominated (hopefully haha) im not sure who i WOULD want to be nominated, i just know who i wouldn't want, so as long as they're okay i'm good!

JEV

I'm once again feeling pretty good this week. I've grown pretty close to Nash since nominating her in week 1 and she told me and Nathan we aren't going up so, there's that! She's told me Gina is going up and will be her target which I'm not thrilled about but hopefully Gina can pull some miracle and win POV. I'm a little worried about Emma and Jake too, as they've both said they haven't spoken to her much which is dumb, bc like hello??? its week 3, i feel esp with Jake, I can understand Emma bc Nash keeps leaving her on read but I don't think Jake has even tried much (crying emoji) So hopefully they can ALSO pull something out

JAKE

FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate everyone in this game t b h. why can't people just follow with a plan and go through with it like it aint that hard to put your chips on one person from your alliance so youre all safe like........ i dont think these ppl understand strategy and it's TIRING. i frankly am over people relying on their friendships to get themselves through another week bc fucking nash won an alliance-based hoh comp. now we have to deal w this fucking friend group running the house another week. i don't know if i'm safe i'm honestly probably going to be put up??? even tho nash is the one that CONSTANTLY ignores my PMs even tho ive given her paragraphs to respond to... she's gonna do whatever her little friends want her to do. i mean that's what she literally said to me. i was like pls don't nom me <3 and she was like "im not making any promises im just doing whatever the house wants me to do" like girl............ lkjghklsdfjhg what kind of dumbass bullshit response was that. just tell me you're putting me up or you're not. youre a big girl you can make your own fucking decisions.

i give nash what i would give any hoh if they won and that is "i'd never ever nominate you it's never even crossed my mind" and hoping that's enough to make her wanna keep me. she might think im not going after her but, if she's smart, she'll send me out the door this week before i can retaliate. 

im super super worried that jacob will be like oh jev n jake aligned in BBHOS9 u should put them up together since jev nominated you week 1. like i feel like she'd do ANYTHING jacob tells her at this point cuz shes just another one of his sheep so like hoping im good w jacob but he's such a wildcard idfk

at this point im just hoping me or emma don't get put up and if we do there will be a veto to be won and a nash/jacob to come after next so...... period

ARIA

yall i feel so fucking cracked and tired of everything but itS FINE!!! I got this easy peasy!! Im not going to always feel motivated but im doing my best and thats valid baby!!! So lets jump in, first off lets start with a random information dump of things i've collected

-jacob has talked about me w/ nicholas during pasio

-monty and jacob have a connection ( i dont even remember how)

-nathan nash (maybe jacob) obviously tight lmao

-joey monty close

-Jake made a counter alliance to Jacob's (actually joshes) alliance made of me gina saira emma and josh

-josh emma me alliance

-JOEY RECORDS CALLS

-Jake is wary of nathan (but also thinks hes cute ugh)

-told jake im wary of pasio peeps so he might nom them

-Jacob alliance STILL isnt created

-called with josh and told him that jacob is wary that the alliance isnt made yet

-jacob josh have a pregame

-told josh, saira and nick have a pregame

-josh kiki close

-josh thinks saira is a social threat 

-josh prefers jev over nathan

-told monty to talk to jake more

-told joshua jacob is the most connected person

-got back to nash gina doesnt like her

-jacob kiki nash confirmed trio alliance

-nash told jev gina is the target (jev then told jake)

-josh thought jacob was the original maker of the alliance

-jake thinks jacob/josh are snakes

-jake also thinks jacob-josh-nash-kiki-bri-nick-nathan are an alliance

-josh wants to play the middle w/ me :uwu:

 So from here I want to get into how my ideal week will go and how it will realistically go. IDEALLY Nash noms jev and josh with them not winning veto and the house gets rid of a utr social threat but realistically its gonne be gina and jake with gina going bc she doesnt talk to anyone of have any motivation for this game (I LITERALLY WROTE HER A PARAGRAPH TO SEND TO NASH TO NOT BE NOMINATED AND SHE GOES "hmm idk maybe ill send it" LIKE????) 

Okay the other thing im freaking out about is bc i feel like theres tension between me Jacob Josh and Jake and im not sure what it is about. I mean i kinda do but im missing key components. The whole situation just doesn't sit right with me at all and I feel very at odds with them in a weird kinda way. I've explained this so many times but i have such a bad feeling that josh leaked the janelle alliance to jacob and is more with him than me and now josh is setting these two sides against each other and i just heard from him that nash isnt nomming him so now im really uncomfy ughhhh i have such a bad feeling and i really need to work on people like jev saira monty to make sure i have people behind me i can fall back on, but also im getting the vibe jake really really trusts me which is great because i want to go far with him as well, unless hes just misting me SUPER hard ughhh

god i just have such a bad feeling about this week buts its fINE totally fine ill work it out eventually,,,but now its trust ranking time yay

1.Gina (youre so inactive i adore you!)

2.Joshua (kid GANG!!! thank you for trusting me sometimes <3)

3.Jake (hes a crackhead but hes my crackhead)

VERY BIG GAP

4.Emma (shes chilling what a lovely gal)

5.Monty (better inactive than be active and a threat)

6.Nathan (youre kinda sketchy but hes like a funky older brother)

7.Josh (youre at the center of a balancing act i wonder if u can keep it up)

8.Nick (they always give such an honest vibe,,,,,i dont trust it)

9.Brianna (shes so sweet but the sweetest angels make the fiercest demons)

10.Jev(,,,,your on slightly thicker ice than joey but combined with a little more charisma)

ANOTHER GAP WOOT WOOT

11.Joey (youre on THIN fucking ice buddy,,,,please be more open w/ me)

12.Saira (im begging for u to talk game to me,,, but also since we havent talked u cant snake me yet)

13. Jacob (idk ily sm but youre so fcking connected and idk if i reached ur inner circle yet)

14. Kiki (my favorite furry)

15.Nash (please talk to me im begging ill do anything please plsease plaease plae-)

So update ive been talking around and wow this game loves looking at my allies and kicking them in the kneecaps while spitting in their eyes ugh. So nash is probably leaning towards nomming jake and Gina with gina as the target (really weird that jake is nommed makes me think jacob had some influence there) but in that scenario best case is that veto is used and anyone but josh goes up and that person leaves easy fucking peasy!! Anyway i just talked with josh and apparently jacob was the one who came up with the alliance idea which is interesting bc he tried to pin it on josh. Anyways not to totally contradict my initial rant but me and josh had a really good chat where we're kinda in the same position between two groups (the og alliance and janelle) and we dont know if we should make the og alliance and with who bc of janelle so we're struggling to see whats the correct move from here....or maybe josh is completely misting me but i fucking hope not ugh- either way im surviving this week and thats that!!

JEV

I'm realising that I'm getting myself into a pretty tight position since I have firm alliances with Emma & Jake and Nash & Nathan, as well as being extremely close to Josh C, which could prove difficult for me down the line, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

KIKI

https://youtu.be/6cn8xUFWqhA

BRIANNA

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XvZzg3dTEZ89VeFbG3bxk4JFNtr7Ixm0/view?usp=sharing 

i had to use google drive bc it wouldn't take my file on youtube :((((

JEV

So right now I've somehow accidentally wriggled my way into conspiring with Nash on how best to take Gina out, which is so dumb of me because I don't really want to see Gina leave this week, but at the same time I'm having to fight Nash's decision because she wants to put Emma up beside her and... I can't let that happen because I'm worried Emma would leave over Gina

JEV

So I'm speaking to Nash, taking the heat off of Emma by telling her I feel she could be a number for me/her/Nathan down the line, and now I'm pushing for Brianna to go up since Nash wants someone who 100% wouldn't leave over Gina and I'm thinking like... WHO would vote to evict Brianna, but at the same time I'm feeling super terrible about it because Brianna is a literal angel

JEV

Wow a lot going on so I'm trying to update as best I can, Nash is saying she's going to randomise for who goes to the upside down so I'm having to encourage her not to include me or Nathan in the randomisation just incase she needs us for strategising but REALLY its so I can stay and hang around and try my best to keep Emma from touching the block at all this week.

NASH

sorry for nominating women i didnt mean it.

EMMA

If i am being honest the more this game goes by i get so unmotivated and its only week 3 i suck because well in bbgames like galar and almia i mostly played from the bottom now im like alright i kinda want to fuck up my game for fun but kinda pisses me off a bit that i almost could of been nominated if it wasnt for jev but that pisses me off so much i tried talking to nash but i get left on read i dont take things 100x personal unless if somebody is being mean like laughing etc but knowing that i would be on the block over brianna when i did try talking to nash its still hurts a little but if somebody like gina wins veto if i get on the block it issss what it isss i guess but i played on the bottom way to many times maybe i can do this??

JEV

So my efforts worked and Brianna went up instead of Emma, now I've just gotta hope neither of the noms win POV/that the POV isn't used so I don't have to throw someone elses name out there to Nash :flushed:

JOSH

hello ladies and gays. straights aren't welcome here.

today, we are feeling GOOD because the person we nominated just a few days ago won power and STILL didn't nominate me. is that iconnery or what? i was honestly ready for my ass to be TOAST but i did approach nash before they won HOH and had a conversation about where we stood and they said i would be OKAY this week bc we did start talking. we love to see it, yes we do!

the nominees this week are gina and brianna and.. even though i'm in two different alliances with both of them, i'm not mad at either of them going up. i don't REALLY talk with either and i'd be happy to see either one of them go. the tricky part will be figuring out WHO to vote when the time comes, but we have a POV to happen before we get there. we'll SEE.

if i had to choose, i'd probably send brianna home simply because i find her a bit CHAOTIC where i feel like gina isn't really going to cause a lot of waves with me. she's much more quiet whereas brianna is more likely to be able to pick herself back up.

some other fun events going on:

jake was NOT happy about nash winning and thought he was going to get nominated because of it. he was about to RIP nash a new one and is really brewing with how much he hates them. MAKES ME LAUGH A LIL BECAUSE IT WAS SO UNWARRANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS, it's something to note that jake does NOT like nash.

i think aria is my number one right now bc we get along really well and have very similar opinions. i'm really open with how i talk to her so i'm HOPING she's not spilling everything i say to someone else but i don't think she WOULD? i dunno. i love her energy and i'm hoping we can SLICE AND DICE together in the middle.

my strategy is to take my HOH under my belt and take a step back for a minute while my two alliances (one: jake, aria, gina, emma, saira, me & two: jacob, aria, brianna, kiki, me) get picked off back and forth. i'm going to see if i can craft a narrative for them to go after each other but we'll SEE. there are a lot of people in the middle i enjoy a lot more than some of the people in my alliances so IDK. i feel like some people got thrown into these alliances that i did NOT want but they were kind of forced in so i don't trust it. and i think people KNOW because i'm not very chatty abt it in the chats (and i haven't even made one of the chats. am i supposed to? idk)

anyways that's all for now x 

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp71zzR-wgE

someone help

JAKE

https://voca.ro/g2ZQWs9x8du

JEV

Not miss Nash coming to me asking how I'd feel about being renom :flushed:

JEV

So I literally just woke up from a sleep and in the space of 30 minutes have had to talk Nash out of renomming me, Emma or Jake since we've just made an alliance together so I warned her that probably wouldn't work out for us in the long run. We narrowed it down and she shortlisted Aria, Josh C, Monty & Nick, and I have spun her to try and get her to nominate Aria, because 1. I don't wanna see Josh C go up and 2. like with Brianna I feel nobody here would vote to evict Aria, and Nash wants Gina GONE (crying emoji) so I feel this was the only logical renom to suggest.

JEV

The conversation has turned back to Emma and I just really don't wanna let that happen because I do feel like she'd leave over Gina. Part of me is saying not to stick my neck out too much to save Emma but at the same time she's my number 1 in this game and I hope she'd return the favour if she was in my position.

NASH

this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off! 

ARIA

Well,,,, FBSFJDF I feel like im making so many of these but honestly this game changes everyday so please dont be too annoyed by me uwu, the mood swing i had just this DAY was insane so lets begin w/ the general info-

IN TIME LINE ORDER

-Jev told jake that something about noms but acted dumb when I asked

-Gina/Joshua/Aria alliance created!!

-Saira and Josh are close

- VIDEO DR GOES HERE

-Jake spills Emma-Jev-Nathan-Nash-Jake alliance with Emma/Jev/Jake being a trio as well= Jev created the alliance

-Jev prefers gina out

-jake doesnt believe in screenshots or recording calls

-Jev and Jake are close

-Jev/Jacob/Jake all played together before

-I leaked Bri's backups to Jake as well as Jacob's trio with Nash and Kiki

-nash almost backdoored jev bc he wasnt responding to her

-jev was the reason i was almost otb

-I WAS ALMOST OTB

-Josh AND Jacob both want Jake out

-Bri thinks nash's comp ability is scary

-Nash and Nick are close 

-Jacob nervous about Bri's backup leaking

-Jacob barely talks w/ saira and monty

-made a final three w/ jacob josh called malibu

So now im debating whether its morally okay for me to analyze what happened in the living room in a game sense. FBSdffan So lets run down things in chronological order and I might mention my thoughts if they arent too controversial, Nathan leaks the alliance with jev/nash/jake/emma. Eventually emma says 'i wanna know who put these thoughts in the hohs head" and nick starts to shut the discussion down which is an interesting contrast to their earlier attitude where they were very for the drama continuing, which leads me to begin they had some sort of hand in it. Nathan goes on to say he likes nash on a personal lvl which jake analyzes as a nod to a friendgroup and a mini confrontation between nathan and jake occur. I believe that part was just a misunderstanding on both parties account. Then happy discussion until Jake calls nash out for being in the diary session for too long which leads to a discussion of house guests over analyzing production and using that as a strategy which is ultimately unfair and also at this time I believe nash was going through itTM leading to their friends to be slightly defensive on their behalf (which is valid) and i after rereading things i really hope that they're okay, ultimately this leads up to frustration on Jake's part and his ultimate quit. 

I mean where do i go from here? I have the Bri's angels but that did get leaked to Emma on Jake's way out so i need to figure some way to micromanage that where i think im gonna make a emma jev alliance and work with them as a trio in the future (if gina goes) but rn i feel like this force of energy that is Bri's backups is gonna body for a bit but i think theyre gonna throw hoh leading me jev or emma to step up and body a bit. Like i think i might actually win hoh and nom nash and monty with a nick potential renom bc im BORED and nash continuing to skate by without even talking to me is not valid, and monty is so not here its like??? HEWWO??? but idk thats making big moves i may just chill a bit for now but i dont want jev and emma being targeted in the future bc theyre gonna be numbers for me and thats on PEWIOD!

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L25lY813N1k&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=4&t=0s

[foamremaking]

💕🌸HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY ❣️✨

@htrp this is for u bubba,!!!! Ur asleep rn but hopefully u will see this in the morning and know that i love you from the very bottom of my heart, to carry tradition here is a post from me to u,,, ill probABBLYYY BE BUSY WORKING ON MY GIFT FOR U. . IDK IF ILL HAVE IT FINISHED… BUT KNOW THAT I LLVE YOU SO VERY MUCH AND THAT IM PRPUD OF YOU AND IM PRPUD OF US FOR MAKING THIS FAR DESPITE THE HARDSHIPS WE FACED…. and to those reading this, u_u im just gay so uMyEAH…… LETS… GET THIS PARTY STARTED. .

when i had first met u admittedly you gave me bad vibes (but most ppl did) and u met me when i was in an all time low, where i was unbelievably depressed and felt like love and friendship were false and fake. (lol i identified as a/rom/antic because of it) & that it was just a waste of time frankly!!! when we met it was through me kinkshaming u ajgGdhshshhdh I HATE THE FACT THATS HOW WE MET… IT WOILDVE BEEN CUTE IF WE MET DIFFERENTLY BUT… im glad we met then, becayse u pulled me out if a dark area that i thought id never leave. i was insecure, afraid, and i built walls around me to protect me from being hurt. i was used to heing ditched, i was used to people leaving, i was used to being forgotten and left behind. i had abandonmwnt issues that forever took hold of my anxiety of interaction and friendship. but u persisted!!! u kept mwssaging me in pms cuz i didnt talk a lot in our group, u would talk to me everyday and would be subtly flirtatious @ me. and it worked. i fell hard for u, i was thinking abt u everyday and looking forward to messaging u, i laughed at the fact that we were both from oceania.. kiwi & kangaroo… lmao… i rmb calling u as much as i could, i rmb showing u me cooking, i rmb talking from day to the early morning with u. i felt happy, i felt so happy. eventually we began flirting back each other??? just confused?m at the same time what we were doing lol!! every1 thought we were dating cuz of how gay we were… especially the day u gave me the nickname queen u////u and saying u were my king. it was gay lol.. AND U KEPT CONFUSING ME… cuz when ppl asked if u wanted 2 date me u were like “depends on them!!” like!! bish!! wtf!n u sending me mixed signals!!! >-< + i had to be rlly subtle and smooth w/ asking if ur single or not but mentioning how i broke up w/ my ex in hopes itll spark convos abt being single!!!! and u were!! single when i thoight u were taken!! omg!!! so we.. hit off rlly well, i was in love w/ u & i didnt kno how to handle that. but then.. like.. during a late night call around 12oclock i went silent to pm u on skype asking what u feel abt dating. the whole day j was thinking abt askkng u out and before i did i was panicking so hard!! i coildnt breathe and i was shaking so hard!!! & yet again u gave me a confusing response like “mmMmmMmm idm either way” and i saidyes i want to date u!! then we started dating!n and giggled in call and every1 knew what happened!!!

we would talk everyday and be there for each other everyday, i opened up to you more and more until u could reach the very core of me and dissect everything abt me so easily, you understood me better then i knew myself and i was stunned rhat foe the first time in never did someone finally understand me… someone i could talk 2 & could help me through anythig, my favorite line… my favorite phrase was constantly bring up how we are a team, and to this day we still do!!! say that a lot!! a nd i love it cuz i see our relationship as a team, as we work together through anything. together we cna get through anything!n admittedly there were rough times, hard, and we were going through many shit!! drama & w/e + all that shit w/ ex friends and those gross ppl… but yknow, in the end we stayed together cuzwe established undeniable trust while also making sure to communicate everything & anything to each other cuz we had to have trust in one n other. sure we are still tumbling around that sometimes but ive never been so open to someone as much as i have w/ u, i can b myself w/ u w/o being afraid cuz u truly loveme for me and j truly love u for u 💕💕💕💕💕 we may have stumbled here and there but i am confident that we know rach other so much and we are wAYYYY MORE OPEN THEN WE WERE AT THE START!!!! i could say anything & u could saying anythign and we dont minda aaaaaa im jusg lucky to have someone who i can be so openw/ ;_____;;🌸🌸🌸✨✨✨💕💕 you know my flaws and i know yours, we tell each kther off and thats what i love, is being able to recogniZe eCh others weaknesses and handling them well.

and i truly do want to marry you one day, and i will make it happen. and i will make sure that you’ll be happy, ❣️❣️ thank you, for choosing me, and for letting me be with u for so long, and trusting me. 💕💕💕