#and for something horrible to happen. ideally we get both.

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

i love that hieronymous said exactly two lines in that entire episode and one of them was stating the obvious and the other was a totally innocent-sounding statement that also managed to be a lie. he's the perfect character <3

[burningcheese-merchant]

A Thought About Burning Spice Cookie

I was kind of just going about my business today when I had a sort of... revelation, I guess? About Burning Spice. Looking back, I'm not really sure why it took me so long to think of this, but I like to live by the ideal "the best time was then, the second best time is now", so here we go.

Burning Spice was once the Herald of Change (or History, in the original Korean text). He was said to have fought for and defended fledgling civilizations in the distant past, protecting people and helping them in dark times. His throne decor even says he used to let people into his palace and allow them to engage in honest discussion with him about their problems, after which he'd get up and go out and do something about those problems. He sounded like a pretty swell guy... until he got bored with everything and went insane, of course. But here's the thing.

I think I understand why he ended up this way.

To put it as vaguely as possible, I do stuff in real life that may or may not have something to do with history as a subject. And I will gladly tell you all point-blank: history is fucking horrible. History is bleak. History is dark and cruel. The more you dive into it, the more it appears to you as a joke without a punchline. History is a drama, a tragedy, and a big fucking farce all at the same time.

Of course Burning Spice got tired of it. I get tired of it sometimes. Because sometimes, all history ever seems to be is a bunch of delinquents writing "I'm a bad kid" on the chalkboard repeatedly forever and ever. Just a bunch of bad people hurting each other for reasons that'll only come across as stupid long after they've all died at each other's hands. I'm sure Burning Spice started to think "what's even the point of building anything if someone is just going to come tear it down?" And it's hard to not think that when that's what ALWAYS happens. That's what history is a lot of the time. Brutal competition. A war of all against all.

The cure to the cynicism and melancholy history can and will inflict on you, at least in my opinion, is... to stop dwelling on it, honestly. At the end of the day, you have to remember that the past is gone. What's done is done. Things happen and sometimes, you can't do anything about it. You can't go back and save Lincoln from being assassinated. You can't go back and stop the Holocaust. You can't go back and save the world from all those wars and famines and disease epidemics. History both changes constantly and is unchanging at the same time. You have to make peace with what you cannot change - the past - and move forward, because time won't wait for you. We have to remember these things, these dark times; we all have a duty to do so, for the sake of those that came before us and those that will come after. But we also have to remember to live for the sake of those around us here and now. It is the present that shapes the world the most. It is in the present that we find true happiness. Not in the yellowed pages of old textbooks about the past and not in the pie-in-the-sky fever dreams we have about the future.

I think that's what fucked Burning Spice over. He forgot to live in the present. He was so focused on bringing about change, so absorbed in giving everything he had to everyone else, so invested in preserving the past and paving the way for the future, that he started losing sight of what was already there in front of him. His friends. His people. Too much time spent on the bigger picture and not enough spent on the tiny details that don't seem important at first glance, but when you look closer, you realize are what made the whole, entire picture as big as it is in the first place. He, like many do, like I do, began to see how cyclical and futile history can really be. He just saw people looking for reasons to hurt one another and destroy anything good they'd built together. Civilizations that were once grand and prosperous falling to anarchy. Clans with close ties turning against one another. Friend groups fracturing. All this hard work, undone, over and over again. And for what? What did they do any of this for? What did HE do any of this for?

I think his descent into villainy was slow, but sure. A little piece of his soul crumbling to dust with every person he felt like he failed because whatever great change he enacted was undone and everyone else suffered for it. And no one was ever really there to help steer him back onto the right path. Not his friends, not his family, not his people at large. Whether this was because they didn't know he was hurting like this (he seems like the type to keep things close to the chest anyway), they didn't know how to help or comfort him, or they didn't care, ultimately does not matter; regardless, it boils down to Burning Spice never being reminded to find solace in those around him right now, instead of constantly fretting over those before or after.

Maybe if he did remember, if he paid more attention to what IS and not what WAS or what WILL BE, he could've been saved. If he'd let Shadow Milk tell him more about his books and the little puppets he liked to craft. If he listened to Eternal Sugar play her harp more. If he sat and played a few more rounds of Go with Mystic Flour. If he had a friendly sparring match or two extra with Silent Salt. If he ate and drank and danced with his fellow spices like he probably used to like doing. If he stopped thinking he always had to be this larger-than-life figure who lorded over and protected society, and just let himself breathe and be a normal, happy person. It wouldn't make the ultimate folly of history sting any less, but he could have at least made peace with it and continued onward in spite of it.

But he didn't. He succumbed to history's poison, like so many have and so many will. And in an ironic twist of fate, which you will also often find throughout history, the tide of change swallowed him whole and drowned him. He let the failures of yesterday color his perception of today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. More and more people came across to him as bad actors until the whole world was just a devil's stage play, and it was being performed at his expense. Hard work and self-sacrifice lost their flavor. He tried to keep going, tried to keep pushing. Maybe he knew what was happening to him on some level and fought desperately to save himself. Put duct tape over the cracks in a dam, because that's probably all it amounted to, because the wisdom he needed didn't exist within him at that time and he didn't/couldn't find it anywhere else. Pushed forward even when he couldn't see where he was going anymore. Until every muscle in his body hurt. Until he'd lived long enough to see everything he ever lived and worked for be taken apart for scrap, for a vendetta, for shits and giggles.

Until he started looking at those bandits and warlords and terrorists he used to help put away and thinking... "hey. Maybe they're seeing something I'm not. If nothing else at all, they sure look like they're having fun. Way more than I am right now." Until he gave in to despair and grew bitter, and thought "well, if nothing I do really matters, if destroying it all is what makes people happy, then maybe I should give it a shot."

And then he became a bandit, a warlord, a terrorist. He turned into all those people he hated and continues to hate today. He cut out the middle-man and just ended lives before they could begin. Razed civilizations to the ground because that was what was going to happen anyway, whether it be by his hand or someone else's. What does it even matter? What does anything matter? This is all history is. Pain and suffering. He's only doing what's natural. He's solving problems before they can even occur, really. He's doing everyone a REAL favor. Destruction truly is the only way.

The best way to make the world a better place is to make the lives of those around you better first. Even just helping the one person makes a difference in its own way. Think less about making history by winning a war or toppling a regime and more about making history in an old person's life by helping them up when they fall down. Or making history in a dog's life by volunteering at an animal shelter. Or making history in your friends' lives by having a fun day with them that they'll remember and cherish even on their deathbeds. Change doesn't have to be grand. It doesn't need to be an all-consuming tide that rises above the tallest buildings. It can just be gentle waves and seafoam, washing over the sand and kissing one's feet. That's enough, more often than not. More than one might realize.

Maybe if somebody made sure Burning Spice kept this in mind, he wouldn't have turned into a Beast in the end.

TL;DR: History is shit. Him losing it makes perfect sense. It probably would've happened to me, too. Somebody should've been there to keep him grounded. Everyone failed him and he failed himself. Remember to live in the present. YO SOCRATES, IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (14)

ー☆ Chapter 14: Follow You

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: none ー☆ Word count: 7.8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hello, my lovelies! And the last actual chapter is here (as I still have an epilogue ready for you all), I can't believe we're wrapping up LMLAR and that I have to let go of the characters I have created for this story. I can't lie, I might have become really attached to Mingi in this story because I accidentally portrayed in him my ideal type, but what's new? I somehow always manage to hurt myself when I write with Mingi lol (ig that's the burden I have to carry if I write a story with my bias lol) I will be going on a holiday for possibly two weeks, so that means I won't be able to write nor update for two weeks (which sounds horrible and I'm already dying over it, but I hope I'll manage to find time to still write even if a little). Now, don't worry too much about the epilogue and I ask you to read the note at the end of this chapter attentively! ;) For once, I am asking you all to listen to Follow You after you've finished the chapter and not before or during it! I'm curious if the lyrics will be familiar hehe. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and let me know through feedback <3 divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss

@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

            Being here with him, doing this with him had no business being so nerve-wracking. This was Mingi, the guy I hated at first—did I?—and then found a friend in and—well, now found something more in him—wanted more from him. But the flutter of my heart and my stomach twisting despite still feeling somewhat calm, reminded me that no matter that I was with Mingi, this was a completely new setting for us. Yes, it was just the two of us going out and about, but at the same time, it was a date. Something we both discussed and agreed upon, leaving our houses with the purpose of going on this date, the two of us. And perhaps it wasn’t even me feeling nervous about going on a date with Mingi per se, but more the fact that I hadn’t done something like this in ages, which made me feel giddy about it. Like a child when they get the present they really wanted on Christmas Eve.

Mingi, like the true gentleman he was, had picked me up once we were both done with our classes for the day, the sun only half an hour away from setting. The sky had been coated in orange and pink hues as Mingi drove us to an unknown location, grinning from ear to ear as he talked about his day to fill the silence since his old Honda’s stereo had stopped working a few days ago. I didn’t mind that, not at all, if that meant I got to listen to his deep voice and excited tone as he told me about his professor asking about Outlaw and whether he was allowed to attend one of Noir Zenith’s performances. It seemed like word had gotten out lately about Mingi’s band, and even more people from our university were interested in watching them play, I feared soon Outlaw wouldn’t be enough to house the fans. The thought made me feel—made me feel proud and happy for him. Mingi deserved this, he was hard-working and diligent, and I wished him nothing but the best.

When I realized that Mingi was driving us to a rather high-end part of the city with tall and fancy buildings, I found myself more nervous about the surprise he had in mind for me. I didn’t exactly want to dine out in a super expensive restaurant—it really wasn’t my thing—but if this is what Mingi prepared for us, I wouldn’t mind. I knew I’d enjoy myself as long as he was by my side. But, thankfully, he veered us away from the main street and drove down a few narrower ones, buildings nestled together and looking cozier than ever. Graffiti and murals covered every second bricked wall, and I watched curiously as Mingi pulled over and parked the car at the side of the road, in front of a black building, smaller than the ones in the area but a lot more modern and fancier looking. It was dark inside and looked unlived in, but I didn’t question him when he just grinned and grabbed a blanket and basket out of the backseat, then grabbed my hand and guided me towards its front door.

He had fumbled with the key for a second and I snickered at him as he flushed, but then we were inside and I watched in awe the high windows, the place vacant of anything. It was dark, now with the sun setting as well, and I noticed that quite a few lightbulbs were still missing, but Mingi grabbed my hand and walked us towards the end of the hallway.

“Are you sure we’re supposed to be here?” I asked quietly, as if afraid someone would hear us. The place was unfurnished still and Mingi hummed as I noticed light coming from a room whose archway was covered by a black blanket so that you couldn’t see inside. I had paused and looked at Mingi questioningly as he chewed on his bottom lip, then released my hand and yanked the blanket down. My eyes widened at the scenery inside, completely taken aback by the fairy lights strung above and the fort which was built by three stands and a blanket dangled over them. Besides the fairy lights, there was a projector and the white wall was covered in the image of a forest, with a creek slowly flowing through, and the distant sound of birds chirping echoed around the room, it was quiet so as not to disturb any conversation.

My jaw was completely on the floor as I felt my heart race even faster, completely in awe at the view in front of me. I couldn’t believe someone would do something so sweet for me, and as I turned to look at Mingi, for the first time, he looked nervous. He smiled tentatively and I noticed his trembling fingers as he pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his tall nose, and then without thinking, I threw myself in his arms, hugging his torso tightly as I gnawed on my bottom lip, embarrassed by the sudden tears in my eyes as I buried my head in his chest. Mingi made a surprised noise in the back of his throat but didn’t hesitate to return the embrace, and I had to gulp multiple times to try and get rid of the lump in my throat. Nobody has ever done something this nice for me. It was thoughtful, there was effort put into it, and I knew Mingi did this all by himself.

“So, based on your reaction, I assume you like this?” He didn’t sound smug or playful, he sounded genuinely curious, and for a second, I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to even think of ruining a relationship with someone this precious.

“I love it, Mingi.” I whispered into his chest, the softener of his clothes carrying a flowery scent that mingled with his cologne that I was familiar with by now. It felt safe, it felt warm, and Mingi was comforting to be around.

“Oh, that’s good.” He heaved a sigh and I finally managed to get rid of the tears as I pulled my head back to look up at him, his cheeks were flushed a deep red, a great contrast against his tanned skin and platinum hair, “I was scared you’d hate it, but Wooyoung told me to trust my gut, so I did.”

I smiled and released him, stepping back to offer him space so that he could proceed with his plans. He beckoned me further inside the warm room, towards the fort as he laid the blanket out on a mattress for us, placing the picnic basket next to it, “If the weather would’ve allowed it, I would’ve loved taking you down to the creek for a little picnic under the warm sun, but autumn and winter suck, so I had to get creative.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything less from you.” I chuckled as I had walked towards him, shrugging off my long coat. Mingi followed suit and I took my time to take in his attire, loose black jeans held onto his narrow hips by a thick belt, a beige sweater tucked in slightly at the front, and a black denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up. His wrists were decorated with beaded bracelets, the rings toned down as he only had three on his left and one on his right hand, three necklaces dangling at different lengths around his neck. His nails were bare today, void of the familiar black tint. And, without meaning to, it seemed like we wore matching outfits for our date. I wore black jeans which was loose at the knees paired with a black off-shoulder long-sleeved blouse and a beige sweater with holes over it. I didn’t want to comment on my observations as Mingi settled on the mattress with a grin, patting the spot next to him, “What’s this place though? Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?”

Mingi chuckled as he opened the basket, pulling out the thermos I had brought the hot chocolate in for him days ago, and then he grabbed two mugs, “I pulled some strings for us to be here, but we’re not trespassing, so don’t worry.”

“Who owns this building?” I asked curiously as I watched Mingi pour hot chocolate into the mugs.

“Well, last I heard Hongjoong bought it, so…” My eyes widened as I had taken the mug from Mingi, curious to know more, “This building will be Seonghwa’s art studio. He wishes to launch a brand soon, and Hongjoong thought it would be best if Seonghwa has his own office, or studio as Hwa likes to call it. I think he wants to turn the front lobby into a smaller art gallery of sorts, you should talk to him and see whether he’s interested in displaying your paintings and drawings.”

I hummed, thrilled at the idea of having my own exposition one day, “I don’t think I have enough creations for him to display just yet, but I will keep it in mind.”

It’s my dream to be a well-known painter all around the world, to have to travel to display my art in various galleries, to have people interpret my works to their liking and imagination, and to be able to spread a message through my work. I love creating and I love sharing my deepest thoughts through whatever I put on a canvas, or in my sketchbook and, perhaps, I love it even more when someone else appreciates it and interprets it through their own lens, through their own experiences.

Being here with Mingi felt warm, it made me forget about every concern I had prior, completely disregarding my nervous state as I now found myself comfortable sitting beside him and sipping on our hot chocolate, snacking from time to time on popcorn and whatever salty snack Mingi had prepared for us. The scenery through the projector never changed, and I found the chirping of the birds and the flow of the water as white noise rather relaxing. If I closed my eyes, I could easily picture myself with Mingi by the creek, the two of us sitting on a blanket in the green grass, the warm sun beaming down on us as we laughed and talked about whatever came to mind. It seemed like time passed by like a slug when in reality, it was flying away way too fast, but neither one of us cared. Wooyoung and Seulgi knew we were on a date—and since this building was Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s, they probably knew we were here too—and I had told my mother earlier today that I was going out with Mingi. There was no point hiding anything from her anymore, and she was beyond excited to hear the news. She had a night shift today, but she promised to pester me at breakfast about every single detail tomorrow, swearing she wouldn’t go to sleep until we had the chance to talk. And when she put her mind to something, I knew she would follow through with it.

Mingi and I had been talking non-stop since the whole fiasco in his studio—through texts, phone calls, or in person—and I found myself craving to be around him more and more. Surprising even myself, I bought pastries just the other day before going to my first class, and knowing Mingi would be in his studio, I surprised him with his favorite pastry before I was off to class, not wanting to bother him anymore. It also didn’t come as much of a surprise when he and Wooyoung sat with me and Seulgi at lunch, Mingi huddled up close to me as he wouldn’t stop nagging me about eating more, giving me half of his portion despite me not being able to stomach it. In the end, he finished both of our lunches, and I couldn’t have been happier. Seulgi and Wooyoung didn’t comment much on our antics, but I knew Seulgi was dying to tease me. I knew I was in for it later in our art class, and I wasn’t wrong.

The tension I felt around Mingi—due to not being completely honest with him—had now completely disappeared and was, instead, replaced with a tingling feeling that made me giggle and flush any time I allowed my thoughts to stray towards him. Towards his tall build, his firm muscles, his deep and raspy voice that covered my skin in chills any time I listened to it, and his sharp eyes that could make anyone weak in the knees unless they were creased due to his wide smile. His long nose and crooked teeth and that wide smile that had my stomach doing weird flips, his throaty giggles and rarely flushed cheeks. His hands, which were always warm in contrast to his chunky silver rings, which, surprisingly, have become comforting whenever they dug into my skin, his thick fingers intertwined with mine. His cologne and scent, which had me craving more of him, his clothes tucked away securely in my closet—and if perhaps one of my hoodies’ started smelling like Mingi, nobody had to know that I would snuggle up in it before falling asleep. His arms, which always brought a wave of comfort with them and made me feel smaller than anyone has managed to make me feel before. His hands and nails which I would stare at and flush whenever Mingi noticed what I had been doing, and ultimately, his platinum blonde hair, a color that I started loving instead of hating so ardently. It suited him, it made him look unfairly handsome, it sharpened his high cheekbones and his well-defined jaw, gave his eyes more depth and sharpness, and yes, I loved the color, but I also missed his naturally black hair. It made him look softer, more like the Mingi he was on the inside, easily fooling others of his true personality.

A personality that was goofy and giddy, yet a personality that felt everything intensely and spoke boldly, expressing himself directly and never expecting anything besides fair treatment and the truth in return. Mingi was a sensitive soul who offered without asking anything back in return, and he was rewarded rightfully by those around him who appreciated and loved him. He was easily lovable and I found it harder each day that passed by to ignore the need to cherish and protect him. I didn’t think coming clean with my feelings would be such a liberating feeling, that it would make everything so much easier to accept, to mull over. I was scared, of course, I still was, but I felt hopeful. I knew Mingi well enough by now to know he’d never pressure me into anything I didn’t want, that he’d never make me feel uncomfortable, and that he’d always take it slow if that’s what I needed.

When our mindless chatter finally subsided, the two of us now laid on our backs, staring up at the moon Mingi had hung up in the fort—it felt serene. I knew we were nearing late evening by now, but I couldn’t find it in myself to actually care, to actually look at my phone to check the time. I didn’t even want to look at my wristwatch to see—I wished to stay in this moment with Mingi for as long as possible. We had eaten almost all the snacks he brought and the hot chocolate had been long gone now, all we did was enjoy each other’s company right now. With a finger fiddling with the holes in my sweater, I reached the pinkie of my other hand out until I could poke at Mingi’s hand. I didn’t look at him, but I could see from my peripheral that his eyes were closed. He hummed when I poked his pinkie again, and then, finally gave in as he hooked our pinkies together, sending my heart into a frenzy as I tried to remind myself that this wasn’t the first time we’d be holding hands—it did nothing to my poor flushed cheeks nor churning stomach, I was horrible at hiding how he made me feel.

“Can I ask you something?” Mingi’s voice was quiet as if not to disturb our peace. He sounded just a little bit hesitant, and I got a feeling of what our next subject would be about. I hummed and listened as he took a deep breath, then asked his question, “Do you hate Yunho?”

My eyebrows furrowed as I glanced at Mingi, his eyes were still closed, except that now he was gnawing on his lower lip nervously instead of looking at ease. I didn’t have to think much about his question, I don’t think I have ever felt such negative feelings against someone before, “No, I could never hate anyone, to be honest. However, I did resent him for a long time.”

“And now?” I could understand his curiosity and the need to know more about whatever was once between Yunho and me. It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, I was rather thankful that we could openly discuss it. I know that if it bothered him, Mingi would’ve told me because that’s who he was. We didn’t hold secrets from each other, we spoke directly and honestly.

“I don’t feel anything,” I whispered with a small shrug, finding it weird how impartial I had become to Jeong Yunho. A few months ago I still couldn’t think of him without distaste, let alone talk about him without my stomach dropping and heart clenching. I still didn’t appreciate the way he’s treated me, of course, I didn’t, but I found it easy to let go, to not care anymore at all, “It’s been over five years that we dated, and I’ve been over him for a long time now.”

“But you couldn’t completely let go,” Mingi muttered and I had to gulp, not that surprised that he saw right through me.

“He was my first love, my first in everything so I—” I gulped, wondering whether this was uncomfortable or not for Mingi to discuss, but he intertwined our fingers and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. I took a deep breath and slowly continued, “I was attached to him, people always say you’ll forever remember the first person you truly loved, and I think they are right. It’s a bittersweet memory, to be honest, but not something I feel locked down in anymore. Even the resentment I felt towards him now feels so distant like it happened ages ago and not months ago. It feels good and refreshing to have gotten rid of such consuming thoughts and emotions despite never saying it out loud. I hated myself for latching onto that last fraction of emotion I felt towards Yunho, thinking it would make his life as miserable as he made mine but in reality, I was only holding myself back and hurting myself furthermore.”

I turned my head to watch Mingi, to take in his expression, and I was surprised to see him smiling. He was gently rubbing his thumb over my skin, “Yunho’s parents got divorced around the time you two started dating, and his older brother moved to another country in order to pursue the career he’s always wanted, so Yunho had it hard. Between the two of us, he’s always been the stronger person, the brighter mind with never-ending hope, cheering me on and encouraging me to never back down if I had goals to reach. Even when I knew he was suffering due to his family’s situation, he wouldn’t let me comfort him, wouldn’t let me be his shoulder to cry on. He had a huge ego back then, refusing to show the cracks or admit that he was doing worse than ever, and I think he was abusing every relationship he had back at that time. He needed validation and love, he felt worthless and used after his parents didn’t even warn him of their split up, just showed him the documents and made him choose who he’d want to continue living with.

“His parents were good people but they handled some things in a shitty way, and it showed because Yunho lost himself in alcohol and meaningless relationships for a while. I’m not calling your relationship meaningless, because as much as I can remember, you were the only one who was able to tie him down for a longer period of time back then. It’s not you who wasn’t enough for Yunho, it’s him who wasn’t ready to commit and love others the right way. I warned him often to stop whatever he was doing, but he was addicted to the feeling and even hurt me in the process. I’m in no way invalidating your feelings and whatever you have gone through, I just hope you can forgive Yunho’s foolishness one day. He was just a kid trying to navigate his life as he lost his path for a short amount of time. I can guarantee he’s changed now, he’s better than he’s ever been before and he regrets everything he’s done. If you feel like it, I’m sure he would even reach out to you to apologize.”

Mingi’s eyes slowly fluttered open as he turned his face, and his eyes widened when he realized I had been looking at him the whole time, “I probably would’ve killed for this information back in highschool, it would’ve made things a lot less complicated for me if he was just honest and explained things before he left me. It wasn’t always easy growing up without a father, and despite never caring much about what others said, Yunho made me feel unworthy and undesirable and perhaps it’s that which hurt more and not even the fact that he left me. I knew relationships didn’t always last, but I didn’t expect him to be such a huge asshole.”

Mingi snickered and bit his lower lip as I rolled my eyes, trying to restrain the giggle that threatened to bubble through, “Yunho would be digging his own grave right now if he were to hear us, too embarrassed and ashamed of himself to even apologize.”

“Serves him right.” I couldn’t help but laugh and Mingi did the same, looking content and not bothered by the nature of our conversation. After all, it was him who was curious about it and I had nothing to hide from him anymore, “What about you? Any past girlfriends I have to look out for?”

My tone was teasing and Mingi instantly flushed, turning his head away as if that would’ve hidden it. His glasses were placed between us and he cleared his throat as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Well, I wasn’t a heartthrob like my lovely best friend, so I didn’t date many girls.”

I raised my eyebrows, prompting Mingi to continue speaking as he sighed, “I dated a girl back in highschool for a few months, but I don’t know. She was nagging and I didn’t like the way she berated me whenever things didn’t go her way, so I broke up quickly with her. After that, I just wasn’t in the mood to date anyone. I was content with watching anime and reading my mangas and hanging out with Yunho.”

I grinned and pushed up onto my elbows, wiggling my eyebrows at Mingi when he quickly averted his eyes, “And in university? Come on, don’t be shy now, where’s the cocky and annoying Mingi I despised?”

“You were into it, don’t lie.” Mingi chuckled as I scoffed, but I couldn’t find myself to correct him. Maybe I was into it, but he didn’t have to know, his ego was big enough already. After a longer pause and a squeeze of his hand, he gave in and groaned, “Yeah, fine, I dated casually a few people but wasn’t into any of them much. I feel like nobody has ever seen past my looks or the fact that I have a band and sing, so I didn’t feel like being with someone who only wanted me for my looks and for the far-fetched idea that I’d become famous one day, subsequently making them famous too so that they could parade around saying their boyfriend is a rockstar.”

“It’s not a far-fetched idea, Mingi.” I muttered and he looked up at me again, looking hopeful, “It’s good to know, though, that I won’t have to fight any jealous exes in the near future.”

“It’s rather the exes I’d be worried about,” He snickered, and as I narrowed my eyes, a cheeky smile was back on his lips, “you are the jealous type, not them—”

“Now that’s simply not true.” I huffed and fell back, glaring up at the new moon Mingi had hung up in the fort, “I’m not the jealous type.”

“Are you not?” His voice dripped with tease and I rolled my eyes, “Because I’m pretty sure you don’t like Mina—”

“Who’s Mina?” I interrupted, eyebrows furrowing as I cast a glance his way.

“The blonde girl, my fan.” I gulped, suddenly feeling an unexplainable drop in my stomach and a scowl on my face as I turned my head further away so that Mingi couldn’t see it. Yeah, I simply couldn’t stand her. Mingi started laughing loudly and I huffed as I retracted my hand from his, crossing my arms in front of my chest. It only made him laugh harder, and soon I found myself grinning, his deep laugh infectious.

“I’m not jealous of her, though.” I tried to defend myself but it fell on deaf ears as Mingi continued snickering.

“I don’t mind.”

“Of course you don’t.”

Mingi chuckled at my scoff and then it was silent again as I felt my heart rate settle, Mingi’s breaths stable and loud in the fort. The sounds of nature alongside the projection of the creek would be able to lull me to sleep, but Mingi spoke up again before that could happen, “Remember when we were in the library all those months ago and I flipped through your sketchbook without permission?”

I hummed and gave him a pointed stare, making Mingi smile at me sheepishly, “Well, sorry about that, first of all, and secondly, there was a drawing of eyes which was scribbled over. That’s when you said those were Yunho’s but I’m pretty sure I can recognize my own eyes, doll—”

“Are you claiming again that I was drawing your eyes?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingi pursed his lips as he nodded, “I feel like we’ve had this discussion a million times before, Mings.”

Mingi chuckled and then shrugged, playing with the beads of his bracelet, “Yeah, but hearing you confirm it again would be nice.”

I sighed but gave in nonetheless, I would adhere to his wishes only today, “Yes, Mingi, my sketchbook is full of your eyes, of your face, of your body, of you performing on stage, of you sitting in your car—of you.”

I didn’t expect to see his face, even his ears, turn red in a second, eyes widening as his mouth fell open. For once I felt like I had the upper hand, that it finally wasn’t him making me feel flustered, and I smirked, raising an eyebrow at him teasingly. Mingi cleared his throat and patted at his cheeks, clearing his throat again as he opened his mouth to speak, stuttering a bit before a sound actually came out, “Well, I—uh, I wasn’t expecting such honesty. Thank you? I mean, that’s really cool, thank you. I knew you were obsessed with me since the second you saw me.”

And that’s why I mostly kept to myself about stuff like this, I knew it would get to his head, “No, I couldn’t stand you the second I saw you. Then you turned out not to be such an idiot and too annoying, thankfully.”

Mingi chuckled and intertwined his hands as he placed them behind his head, kicking his legs out, “Well, I actually knew you before meeting you at Outlaw. Wooyoung told me about Seulgi, and then the next day he pointed her out in the hallway and you were there with her. And, uh, yeah.”

It was my turn to tease him as I turned my head and grinned at him, “Did little Mingi have a crush on me before he even got to know me?”

I shouldn’t have felt so pleased by his sudden flush or the way he avoided eye contact, “Yeah, I did.”

And apparently, I was worth sticking around for so long, pushing to get through to me, to make me realize opening up to another person wasn’t such an awful thing, to make me realize liking someone else wasn’t the end of the world, and that I very much wanted to be loved and that I also wanted to love another. The silence that dragged on wasn’t awkward, but I felt Mingi tense the more I didn’t say anything, and as he looked at me with eyes that held light fear in them, I smiled. And then, I was turning onto my side and leaning over to kiss him. As always, his plush lips were soft and warm, welcoming and eager as I pressed a chaste kiss against them, trying not to smile but I failed miserably as Mingi sighed quietly. I pulled back as my intention wasn’t to turn this into anything deeper, but Mingi chased after my lips, our noses bumping together as I cupped his cheek with my hand, my hair falling around us as our lips pressed a little firmer against each other.

It was slow, neither one of us desperate or trying to prove anything as we got lost in the feel of the other, of the other’s warmth and taste—which was a mix of salted caramel popcorn and hot chocolate, Mingi’s cologne making my head dizzy as our lips slotted perfectly together, moving languidly against each other. My hand slipped to hold his jaw and he freed a hand from under his head as he held onto the back of my head, sucking my lip between his teeth without bruising them or nipping at them. I hummed against his lips and pressed another swift kiss against them before pulling away, my face hovering above his as I didn’t want to open my eyes just yet, basking in the feeling kissing Mingi brought with itself. Our noses bumped together again and I smiled as Mingi giggled, no doubt enjoying the proximity.

“So,” His voice was quiet and when I opened my eyes, I was met with an unexpected flush to his cheeks, that subsequently made me blush as well, “what are we now?”

“What should we be?” I asked, my tone warm as I bit my lower lip to contain my smile.

“What do you want us to be?”

“A couple?”

It felt like time stopped as I muttered those words, feeling nervous and scared, but so ready to offer everything I had to Mingi, to make him happy, to make him feel loved and appreciated. I never wanted to see him hurt, especially not because of me. I had seen Mingi’s smile before plenty of times, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the way his eyes disappeared and nose scrunched up, all teeth on display as he smiled up at me, making my heart flutter as I just realized something. I loved him, I loved this man lying underneath me and nothing would stop me from cherishing him like he deserved to be.

“Yeah, I want us to be a couple.” He spoke as he didn’t stop smiling, and I tried to keep mine in check.

“But we have to go on more dates, at least three more, to get to know each other better.” My eyebrows slightly furrowed and Mingi smoothed them out with his fingers tenderly.

“Of course, we’ll take it at your pace, I have nothing to rush for.” I felt grateful as Mingi winked and I pressed a swift kiss before I buried my head in his neck, letting him pull me closer to his body as I cuddled up against his side, “Can I tell Wooyoung at least”

“You think I won’t tell Seulgi?”

And we giggled together as Mingi pressed a kiss against my head, humming in contentment as our fingers intertwined, resting upon his beating heart. I’ve never felt more like I belonged than at this exact moment. Not even with my art.

            By the time Mingi drove me home, it was well into the evening, the dark streets illuminated by the lampposts, some having burned down as Mingi turned onto my street. We didn’t feel the need to discuss much on our way back, our date was successful and filled with laughter and deep conversations that only confirmed my suspicions of Mingi. He was a good guy, too good to be true at times, but I was more than grateful that he was by my side.

His old black Honda Prelude came to a slow stop in front of my house and I unbuckled my seatbelt as Mingi turned his head and smiled, placing the car in neutral as he pulled the handbrake up. I turned and looked at him, our smiles almost shy as if we weren’t ready to say goodbye just yet, acting as if we wouldn’t see each other tomorrow. I agreed to let him pick me up for a breakfast date as we both only had classes starting at noon. If my heart fluttered and lungs convulsed at the thought of having Mingi pick me up tomorrow for a breakfast date, I would only admit it to my mother as now I had to explain why I wouldn’t have breakfast with her in the morning. I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight, too excited to actually get the amount of sleep that was healthy. Perhaps I would even paint some more, for once, I wasn’t behind on assignments, but I felt the itch under my skin to create something new.

“Well,” I cleared my throat once the silence got too much, “I loved spending my time with you, Mingi, thank you for taking me out.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” He looked away abashed, but only for a second as he gave me a cheeky look, “I bet it’ll be hard to overdo my efforts now.”

“You wish.” I chuckled and grabbed my backpack from between my legs, “Don’t forget, I might be artsier than you are, love.”

It was certainly surprising to see Mingi’s face flush, ears included. If I remember correctly, Yunho’s ears always flushed before his face could if he was flustered, flattered, or embarrassed, and now I couldn’t help but find it endearing that the two best friends had similar mannerisms, “Uh—yeah, I—love?!”

I giggled and bit my lower lip, leaning over the center console with a cheeky grin, “Well, did you expect me not to call you nicknames? You call me doll, it’s only fair I return the favor—”

“But love?!” Mingi exclaimed, slightly confusing me as he rubbed his eyes behind his glasses, “I—I think I’m unwell.”

“What?” My eyebrows furrowed, suddenly concerned, “Why?”

“My stomach won’t stop flipping around and because I’m losing my mind?” Upon Mingi’s helpless expression and whine, my eyes widened and I fell back into my seat, not quite laughing as I couldn’t help but gape at him.

“Do I fluster you—”

“Very much so!” Mingi exclaimed as he hid behind his hands again and I might have malfunctioned for a second as I’d never seen him acting like this. Did he have a fever? Did a simple nickname turn him into a whiney kid?

“Well, it’s payback time for all the times you made me suffer, love.” Mingi looked like he was about to combust and I couldn’t help but cackle as I blew him a kiss before grabbing the handle to open the car’s door. But before I could step out, Mingi shot forward and opened the glove box.

“Wait!” He said hurriedly and I froze, looking at him curiously. He grabbed a black notebook and handed it to me, eyes boring into mine despite his still red ears, “Flip through it once you’re settled down, please.”

I smiled and nodded, feeling curious as I took it from him, and certainly blushed an ugly shade of red when he pressed a quick kiss against my cheek, making me stumble for a second as I got out of his car. It was his time to feel triumphant for making me feel flustered, and I couldn’t help but flip him off as his amused laughter was audible through the closed doors and rolled-up windows. He winked and waved cheekily before putting the car in first gear and motioning for me to head inside. Feeling giddy and curious, I waved before turning my back to walk to the front door as nonchalantly as possible, fishing my keys out of my pocket. Once I was inside, Mingi drove off and I slammed the front door shut, locking it quickly as I had half a mind slipping out of my boots and throwing my jacket onto the floor absentmindedly as I raced up to my room, not bothering to turn on the lights. I might have bumped into the edge of the railing and the edge of my door as I turned on the bedside table lamp, dropping everything on the floor except the notebook as I plopped down onto the bed.

My heart was racing as I got comfortable, almost forgetting my phone was in my back pocket and would be crushed if I sat on it, so I retrieved it and placed it on the bed next to me. My fingers trembled lightly and I licked my lips as I flipped the notebook open, surprised to find Mingi’s name written prettily on the first page with doddles decorating the rest of the blank page, all kinds of little animals and shapes signed by his friend’s names, no doubt them having drawn those in here. Too curious about the contents of the notebook, I started slowly flipping through the pages, eyes skimming over all the words and musical notes, Mingi’s handwriting was pretty despite it being rushed at times—most of the time.

Then, I flipped to a page that had my name only on it with a small heart next to it. My heart was suddenly in my throat as I took a shaky breath, flipping to another page, eyes slowly taking in all the words.

‘And the world is cold/But it's beautiful/I wish you were here now’, I could imagine Mingi’s soft tone singing these in a whisper before the beat picked up. ‘It's your magnetic hold/A gravity pull/I can feel you in waves/When your melody comes/It falls from above/I will not be afraid’, I gulped, eyebrows furrowing as I slowly traced over the words, Mingi’s pen having made an indent in the paper when he scribbled them down. Eager to read more, I looked further down, drinking in what I now realized to be lyrics, ‘So lost/Coming from me when I'm lost/You kiss my neck and then you're gone/Turn me off and turn me on oh/Eat up every word you say/My perception dilates’. I bit my bottom lip, heart racing just a little faster as I realized Mingi offered me a glance inside his mind, inside his feelings and how he’s viewed me and our relationship over the months, ‘Want you to waste my time/Mess with my mind/Fly me to the other side/Don't say goodbye to reds in my eyes/Love me enough to hate me/Waste my time, waste my time/Waste my time, waste my time’.

I gulped, suddenly feeling guilty for having tormented Mingi for so long, for having made him feel like I was playing with his feelings, ‘Like a phantom, I will steal your heart/Until we're dancing in the dark/Like a phantom, I will steal your heart/Until we're dancing in the dark’. I chuckled, imagining Mingi hunched over his desk with a frown on his lips as he jotted the lyrics down, then smirked in triumph at the fantasy of finally having my heart in his hands—and I think he’s rather close to achieving that now, ‘Chit chat, do you want that/Or wanna take me home tonight?/All this chit chat is holding me back/And I'm breaking just to bend your light/I thought I told you, I really need your sugar/A rollercoaster, I'm going supernova/Chit chat is holding me back/To you, you’. I tried to refrain from grinning too hard at the lyrics. Going back home with Mingi wasn’t a repulsive thought anymore as it would have been a month ago. No, now I would rather go home with him. I wanted to be around him, I wanted him.

‘Oh, my oh, my oh my/Why's it every night/I'm feeling so sleepless?/Oh, why oh, why oh why?/I'm losing my mind/Maybe you're the reason’, I couldn’t help but gulp at the thought of Mingi not being able to sleep, bothered by thoughts of me, ‘Started as friends, but less than lovers/It's all making sense/On days, I'm thinking about us/Yeah, I know I'm so selfish/Hate the thought of someone else/Making you laugh, smiling, happy, if it ain't me or myself’. I gulped, feeling like Mingi got a glimpse inside my head too, making me remember how quickly and easily my jealousy previously flared whenever I saw him talking to the blonde girl. ‘I was more than just a body in your passenger seat/And you were more than just somebody I was destined to meet/I see you go half-blind when you're looking at me’, my breath faltered for a second as I quickly read over the lyrics again, wondering just how obvious it was to everyone else but myself that I was into Mingi, that he was into me.

‘I, I, I never thought I'd find true love/I, I guess I wasn't looking hard enough/If my heart stops now, you're the one thing that made it all worth it/If the sky falls down, right now, you're the one that I'll worship’, the words had no reason getting to me, yet I couldn’t help but flush hard as I blinked my eyes and rubbed at them, trying to cool off for a second, but I was too curious of what more was in the notebook, ‘Well, I heard you whisper/To all your friends/I heard you telling them that/You need a man in whom you can depend’. I chuckled, feeling amused but completely in awe of Mingi’s lyrics, his words somehow making complete sense and almost like a challenge to admit he was right about me, ‘Well I'd be the gasoline/To keep you alive/And I'd be the cold, so unbreakable/We'd burn together straight through the night/That's alright’. And now I had no doubts that Mingi would do anything for me, but what he didn’t know just yet, was that I would be his ride and die from now on.

‘Oh, and my love/Did I mistake you for a sign from God?/Or are you really here to cut me off?/Or maybe just to turn me on’, and perhaps if breathing became harder, it would be obvious to anyone as I tried to regulate my breaths and ignore the flush over my body, ‘'Cause these days/I would be lying if I told you that/I didn't wish that I could be your man/Or maybe make a good girl bad’. I gulped and sat up straighter, flipping another page hurriedly to read more of the song’s lyrics, easily imagining Mingi up on stage, raspy and smooth voice blending into the microphone and making the hairs on my arms stand as we made eye contact, his gaze intense and sharp, challenging in a way that would get me all bothered and hot, ‘I've got a river running right into you/I've got a blood trail, red in the blue/Something you say or something you do/The taste of the divine’. And I honestly to God hoped to see them perform this song one day, curious of what the band would sound like together, of Mingi’s voice and his eyes, ‘You've got my body, flesh and bone/The sky above, the Earth below/Nothing to say and nowhere to go/A taste of the divine’. I was ready to turn another page when my phone dinged loudly, making me flinch in surprise as I was completely immersed in Mingi’s lyrics.

Mings 🖤: home i hope you enjoy whatever you find in there some are spicy lol

Without thinking much, I pressed the dial button next to his name and raised the phone to my ear, my heart beating out of my chest. It barely rang twice before Mingi’s deep voice greeted me through the phone and I gulped, mouth working faster than my brain, “Mingi.”

“Yes, doll?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

The deafening silence was filled with the loud thumps of my heart that only I could hear, and I was sure my pulse was way too high, but I couldn’t care less as I listened carefully to hear Mingi’s reaction. His gasp was loud as I licked my lips, eyes boring into the notebook again, “I read it, your lyrics.”

More silence, until there was a deep breath and Mingi’s raspy voice made me sink in on myself, goosebumps covering my whole body, “Good, because I think I’m already in love with you.”

I huffed out a breath, my smile was huge as Mingi’s chuckle that followed sounded breathless but somehow as if he was at ease. I couldn’t help but fall back on my bed, holding onto the phone tightly as I pushed the notebook to the side, eyes falling on my sketchbook, “I’ll send you something, listen to it now.”

“Alright, thank you.” Mingi hummed and then hung up, making my heartbeat quicken once again as I watched the dots in our chat move, and then a voice file was sent, with a message attached to listen to it with headphones. I quickly turned onto my stomach to reach for my nightstand, grabbing the headphones and connecting it to my phone as I placed it on my head, biting my lower lip as a familiar melody, lyrics, and voice traveled through the headphones, covering my skin in goosebumps.

『'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need

I promise you, you're all I see

'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need

I'll never leave

So, you can drag me through hell

If it meant I could hold your hand

I will follow you, 'cause I'm under your spell

And you can throw me to the flames

I will follow you, I will follow you』

❱❱ Epilogue

A/N: Can y'all imagine this was supposed to be the last chapter?? lol, back in December when I wrote the whole plot this is how I tied everything up BUT THEN, maybe around two months ago I was tbh just gushing to my bestie about Mingi and some other things, and I realized, wait a minute-I can totally write this for LMLAR?! And so, that's how the epilogue came into existence, which I'm grateful for because I feel like it ends the story on a good note *cries*, would you like me to post the epilogue this week on Friday or next week on Wednesday? majority wins lol

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[weecherylita]

Thoughts on the Neil Gaiman Allegations

I followed Neil Gaiman on tumblr not because I'm a massive fan of his work (I've read two of his books, and one of those he co-wrote with someone else) but because it was interesting to get behind-the-scenes info about Good Omens.

Because he seemed, for the most part, to be a pretty affable and interesting person.

Because it was nice to see someone so prominent be willing to assert the rights and dignity of lgbt people, and most especially trans people in this era where they are being consistently vilified and used as a political punching bag in my own country and elsewhere.

Because his writing advice was decent, and he seemed to value and support artistic endeavour in all its forms.

Because the stories from readers talking about what his work had meant to them were a consistent reminder of the power of art to connect us all and transform our lives.

Because he consistently advocated kindness.

(I know some people have been saying he couldn't handle criticism and he bad-mouthed other public figures, but I think I must have missed those incidents - my impression was that he was very often complimenting and defending people).

It was a horrible shock to learn that (yet again) a creator I respected fell so far short of embodying the values he spoke up for. When things like that happen it can make you question human decency itself, especially when it just seems to keep happening again and again; public figures who seem so progressive turn out to be abusers. Is human goodness just a story we tell ourselves? Is genuine progress even possible, when those who speak up for it prove themselves to be so incapable of living by those ideals?

I don't know how much of Gaiman's public persona was genuine and how much was just a front for some consciously manipulative and predatory behaviour. To be honest, I'm not sure I care if we ever find out how much of what we saw was real. He's lost our respect - most likely forever, and he shouldn't be put in a position where he can abuse people's trust again.

I'm sorry for the people he hurt, and I hope they get time to heal.

And I think those values that I saw in him are all still true, even if he is false.

Kindness and decency is still something to live by, even and especially in times of darkness.

Art still has the power to move, connect and transform us, whether you want to keep reading Gaiman's works or not (and if you're finding it tough because you've lost that enjoyment and connection to stories that meant a lot to you, know that there WILL be other works out there that can make you feel it again).

Creative endeavour IS still inherently valuable.

Transgender lives and identities still matter. Transgender people are still deserving of dignity and respect. There may be plenty of transphobic people out there who feel emboldened by this, and I'm not gonna pretend to understand exactly how scary and horrible that must feel. All I can say is that there are other people out there who still believe in you, and still want to support you.

Human decency is not a lie. I guess we need to be wary of public figures who come across as too good to be true and remember that everyone has capacity for both good and bad, but not everyone fails as badly as him. Not everyone succumbs to their worst instincts. Not everyone is an abuser. Human goodness is still alive, and something to strive toward and take comfort in.

[dezmolad]

EARTHSPARK S3: review??? (SPOILERS!)

this weekend I watched earthspark and I have to say something or I'll explode. This won't be a review as much as just some loose thoughts trying to summarise what this series had became.

STARSCREAM I hate what happened with starscream. I wrote an analysis of how this character got absolutely massacred in S2 (you can check it out here). To summarise: In S1 he was such a great character, shown so intriguing with both his not perfect character and his history of being abused. In S2 they made him the villain in an absolutely shallow way, in the final episode writing him in a way that makes him irredeemable. And I thought thats the worst u can do. And then S3 happened, when he appears for one scene to be shown as funny for "being crazy" (WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING WHEN U REMEMBER S1 WHEN HE WAS A VICTIM OF ABUSE THAT NOONE BELIEVED. IS THIS REALLY A GOOD IDEA TO PORTRAY HIM AS HAHA CRAZY GUY). It's absolutely heartbreaking to watch that scene. Starscream gets electrocuted by the very person he opened up to in S1, he was in isolation for all of the S3, he went insane bc of that, and still at the end we drag him to autobot jail. what is this.

PROWL I have no idea how such an intriguing and complicated character from idw that was clearly an inspiration inspired such a dull and shallow character. His process of learning about respect for human allies and terrans is shown so poorely and never feels like being actually resolved, I won't even talk about this. I admire how they did two things I thought were impossible. I thought it's impossible to make IDW inspired Prowl in this show a good guy (I genuinely thought he's going to be the bad antagonist). I thought it's impossible to ignore his weird and complicated relationship with Tarantulas, in a show that had Tarantulas in S1, was created with Nick Roche as character designed and was inspired by The Sins Of The Wreckers specifically in specific places. They did both of those things and it worked out horribly, congrats.

CONCLUSION I can't understand what happened with this season. it's visible there was some cuts, it looks rushed, it lacks any substance, and Quintessons at the end... didn't help the case let's just say. But that isn't my bigest problem. I feel devastated by what happened to the ideals of the show. in S1 we had decepticons in cages, and figuring out it's not actually a good solution. In S2 we saw decepticon as boring usual villains. But in S3 we have decepticons in one big cage again. But this time there is no consideration, there is no doubt. Even if under Shockwave they just want to go home. They should all be kept imprisoned. No matter if they mean no harm, no matter if, like Starscream, they suffered enough. And there is nothing to figure out, that's just how the world works. After all, they are decepticons, right. yes I'm bitter, S1 was just very important to me and seeing what happened to ES is just sad.

[redstarwriting]

potential hobie x goth!reader

was dying to read an enemies to lovers hobie x reader, and then i remembered i write LMAO. here’s a little snippet of the beginning of an enemies to lovers hobie x goth!reader ;) lemme know if anyone would actually be interested in this

The punk lifestyle is that of beliefs and hopes. The world can be changed. Anarchy can be accomplished, it’s not just a dream.

The goth lifestyle is that of cynicism and despair. Nothing changes, definitely not the world. Anarchy can never be accomplished, the selfish nature of humans assures that.

IT’S NO LONGER POTENTIAL!!! HERE’S THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE CLASH! MASTERLIST TO COME! i. hey, ho! let’s go!

In theory, the two of you should have been great friends. Best friends, even. He’s called Spider-Punk, and you’re called Spider-Goth, this alone made Miguel assume the two of you would get along better than all of the Peters. Unfortunately for Miguel, he was dead wrong. It was fine at first, a good introduction. “Spider-Punk, meet Spider-Goth,” Miguel says, motioning to the two of you. You simultaneously turn your heads towards him, “Don’t call me that.” You look at each other, seemingly sizing each other up after speaking the same words at the same time. “Fine. Hobie, meet (Y/n). (Y/n), meet Hobie,” Miguel says as Peter B. Parker hops next to him, excited to see the two of you interact. Hobie clicks his tongue. “Goth, eh?”

“Yeah. Is that a problem with you or something?”

“Feisty for a goth.”

“Insitgative as all punks are.”

“...I don’t suppose there’s no reason we shouldn’t get along,” Hobie suggests, raising an eyebrow at you. “I agree. We probably think similar things… for the most part.”

“For the most part, huh?”

“Just that we have similar ideas, but most likely not the same,” you respond and he crosses his arms, his guitar moving loosely behind his back. “Opinions on anarchy. Go.”

“It’s the ideal society—”

“Good start—”

“But completely unrealistic.”

“Excuse me?” Hobie looks at you with a glowering expression. “Humans are inherently assholes. Selfish, shitty, assholes. As amazing as it would be to have anarchy running rampant,” you shrug, “It’s unlikely it will ever happen.”

“You can’t actually believe that,” Hobie says, exasperated, “I mean you actually think that we can’t achieve it? You get enough people angry and they rebel, they push for anarchy. I’ve seen it happen, I’ve led a rebellion.” You roll your eyes. “And do you live in a perfect anarchical society now?”

“Not yet, but we’re getting there,” he clenches his teeth and you sigh. “I admire your blatant idiocy disguised as an ambitious dream,” you say and he huffs. “Would you just talk like a normal fucking person and stop using these dumbass words and shitty poetic language?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, or are you as deaf as your ideologies?” This time you scoff. “I don’t have the time to be berated by someone who lives in their own delusions to try and feel the slightest bit less angry at the world for giving him the shitty cards he was dealt.”

“And I don’t have time to listen to the rubbish ramblings of a miserable twat who digs desperately into their black hole of a heart to try and feel something when the truth is they don’t even know what they stand for,” he fires back. You glare at him. He glares at you. As if on cue you both flip each other off before you web away. Peter’s voice cuts through the silence. 

“Well, that went horribly!”

[ladyloveandjustice]

Speaking of the Sailor Moon manga, I've been thinking about the thing with Haruka and Usagi in the manga, and I think it makes more sense to me when I remember that Naoko has said Haruka is her "ideal woman" and she's also stated that Mamoru is her "ideal man" and definitely means it in a romantic sense.

Usagi is the character the reader is supposed to project on (and who Naoko has indicate she projects herself onto), and I think the whole thing suddenly makes a sort of sense when you look at it through the lens of something we often see, which is experiencing a queer fantasy but in a "safe" way where all "fault" is removed from you for that fantasy (like in Dracula, etc). Naoko wanted to explore kissing and being attracted to what she considered the "ideal woman", either for her readers or herself (or both), but OBVIOUSLY Usagi can't cheat on her boyfriend, that would be bad! So hey, Usagi is clearly attracted to Haruka, but she doesn't actually know she's a girl at first soooo! And also the cool lesbian kisses Usagi out of nowhere, so hey, Usagi didn't do anything wrong, it wasn't consensual or anything! And sure, she thinks about the kiss afterwards and even dreams about it and dreams about Haruka in both "feminine form" AND "masculine" form but it's okay, that's also not cheating, it just kind of happened. She gets Haruka telling her that gender doesn't matter and leaning towards her seductively and she gets to swoon a little and maybe actually considers receiving a kiss, but she gets interrupted. And now she can go back to Mamoru no harm, no foul, she (and the readers) got to live the fantasy but she didn't cheat on her guy or do anything wrong, it's cool.

This obviously doesn't make it good writing, as it makes Haruka come off like a horrible person and completely disregards Michiru and plays into some stereotypes, but I do kind of understand why it was this way when I think of it through that lens.

I don't think Naoko was thinking of what it said about Haruka and Michiru at all. I think Naoko put exploring that fantasy (while absolving Usag and (thus the reader) of all responsibility) above all. And is that progressive or good? No, but I can sympathize with wanting to live out that fantasy. Maybe Naoko didn't want to face her own feelings and fantasies, or she understood her readers wouldn't want to, so they get to live out their fantasy this way.

Notably, she's also a fan of Takarazuka and based Haruka off that, which is very commonly how female fans experiencing the thrill of being attracted to a woman but hey she's playing a "male role" so does it really count? They get to experience that attraction is a "safe" way and then go home, put that attraction in its box, and resume their lives without having to face and unpack those kind of feelings they don't want to deal with. It's just a fantasy, it doesn't "count", but you can always go back to swooning over the hot girl. because she's sticking around and continuing to be hot and protective of and devoted to you.

It's a very 90s approach, but I kind of get it.

[elrondsscribe]

Okay so here’s the thing. I freely admit I am Big Stupid. I forget things constantly. The Vampire Chronicles is a layered tale packed with constant retcons and gaps getting filled. Whole chunks of characters’ stories slip my mind on the reg.

So I understand I may be missing something major.

But.

From where I’m standing … I know that Armand was v upset when it happened, and given everything he’d been through to that point he’s absolutely allowed to be upset; but did Marius do wrong by turning Sybelle and Benjamin?

Hear me out: the rule of this universe wrt humans who tango with vampires is there’s only three eventual outcomes: death, madness, or vampirism. Obvs if Armand had his choice at that point in the series he’d have preferred them to have regular human lifespans and eventually die, but 1) given his history with Daniel, who knows if he wouldn’t eventually have changed his mind, and 2) it might not have been what they necessarily wanted for themselves. Cause the way both Sybelle and Benji talk makes it sound like they might’ve actually asked Marius to get vamped??

(And Pandora? Or wtf was Pandora even doing while all this was happening? She was there, what was she doing?)

Because here’s their response to it:

(…) Sybelle rose from the piano, and with her arms out ran to me. And Benji, who had been watching all the while, rushed to me also, and they imprisoned me gently in their tender arms.

“Oh, Armand, don’t be angry, don’t be, don’t be sad,” Sybelle cried softly against my ear. “Oh, my magnificent Armand, don’t be sad, don’t be. Don’t be cross. We’re with you forever.”

“Armand, we are with you! He did the magic,” cried Benji. “We didn’t have to be born from black eggs, you Dybbuk, to tell us such a tale! Armand, we will never die now, we will never be sick, and never hurt and never afraid again.” He jumped up and down with glee and spun in another mirthful circle, astonished and laughing at his new vigor, that he could leap so high and with such grace. “Armand, we are so happy.”

“Oh, yes, please,” cried Sybelle softly in her deeper gentler voice. “I love you so much, Armand, I love you so very very much. We had to do it. We had to. We had to do it, to always and forever be with you.”

Like, in the immediate aftermath, they’re both over the moon about it; they’ve even fed already. Later in the Prince Lestat era, they both seem fine; like I’m not recalling any major fledgling angst.

Claudia was eternally unlucky, and she was intensely lonely. Her relationships with both Lestat and Louis were complicated and strained (to the point that she tried to kill Lestat), she didn’t really have peers, and by the time she finally got a companion Armand was already engineering her death.

Daniel gradually went unhinged for a decade before becoming a vampire, and Armand might’ve blamed himself for Daniel’s full-fledged insanity afterward but it sounds to me like even if he’d somehow survived that horrible night he’d have lost his mind anyway. (By the way, who was it that kept Daniel fed while he was in that madness, huh?)

Benjamin and Sybelle are super lucky, relatively speaking; they have each other as peers, and Armand is somewhere between a peer and a guardian. From what we see in the PL era, they have their pursuits, they have a place in the vampire world — as fledgling vampires go, they seem to have as close to an ideal life as fledgling vampires get.

And like,, they got what they wanted: their Forever With Armand, with the sweet bonus of less physical harm to fear. And in the long run, after the … Veil-induced mania? wears all the way off, it seems like Armand isn’t that unhappy about it either.

So.

As much as Armand is totally allowed to have his feelings about it in the moment, all things considered it doesn’t seem like Marius “ruined” much of anything by turning them. At least not to me.

(Marius and Pandora? Tf was she doing?!)

[thisisyourprincipalspeaking]

well students,

i really thought we might get have a nice quiet weekend without the resident wannabe-queen-bees trying to make a play for the kingdom. but here we are with grassy checking in for duty posting their harangue against the 'opinions everyone is entitled to, but cling to the pr angle and isn't it weird...'. normally i write this fool off to another wannabe-mean-girl who thinks they're doing something while no one actually cares about them. but, they've made posts policing this fandom (and me, but i'm more focused on the fandom) and i feel the need to share my piece. since everyone is entitled to their opinion and all.

this person made an account to purely give attention to the 'delulus' they can't stand and call out 'bad behavior'. yes, those delulus are fucking insane and need to be called out; but isn't what you're doing giving them the attention they want? it's all you talk about. this constant back and forth, launching thought turds to try start a fandom war is played out. but now you are going after the people who think this might be pr and lumping them in with the crazies? i hope you are including yourself with the crazies, because you sure are one. everyone is entitled to their opinion, right? just not these people who are discussing a celebrity's relationship on their blogs or in group chats. and probably not my opinion when you read this (hi!) and start using terms you don't understand to call me names. imo you are trash just like the rest of them. you and your friends are deeply concerned about those group chats, aren't you? odd. but i digress.

why do you care so much what these mods think, when by your own accord, they aren't harming anyone or sending nasty notes or hate? sorry, i added that last part, but it is implied by your other posts. you spend so much time fighting to confirm a marriage that isn't yours. you give the 'delulus' airtime time and time again. are you that bothered by people disagreeing with you? and why does it automatically have to be jealousy if someone doesn't believe the bill of goods they are being sold? fyi, seeing the awkwardness or plot holes is not confirmation bias. maybe these fans are trying to grapple with the upset of their favorite actor not living up to ideals he has claimed to hold. maybe they are just trying to continue to enjoy his projects without associating her in them. we do not have to bring her into absolutely every conversation about him, but both dumb ass 'teams' sure try. and yes, his wife is plenty problematic. she may not have directly said the horrible things her friends have and then tried to throw (at least one of) those friends under the bus, but you know what is said: when someone sits down at a table with three nazis, and if they don't call them out, there are four nazis at the table.

so what's the real reason for your constant vitriol and desperate attempt to make people 'see the truth'? why are you fighting so hard for a relationship that isn't yours? do you, just like those 'delulus', think you'll get some big prize for being his biggest defender? you don't want to have genuine conversation with anyone, you just want to argue your point of view time and time again. you want everyone to see things through your lens and agree with your confirmation bias.

yes, you, your friends, and the delulus all just love to police the fandom. i thought it was a joke when i was told about the constant policing, but here you all are, over and over, day after day. telling people what to think, telling people what to post, cruising around tumblr to comment on posts that have nothing to do with you. for what? i'm starting to believe the rumblings that you all are part of the plot to advance a certain narrative and keep the nunemployed at the forefront of the discussion. i can't prove it, but again, it's rumored.

i'll close with some words you might recognize, grassy.

these two people do not know you. they don’t care how you feel about them. you will likely never meet or know them in your lifetime. therefore it is really weird to INSIST you are right about certain things happening in their lives and/or behind the scenes when absolutely none of his fandom knows anything beyond what he presents to us.

think about it for a while. why do you care so much if someone doesn't believe this narrative? are you getting paid for this? because if not, it is very strange to be this invested in someone else's marriage. maybe you are jealous because you aren't married. i don't know. but jealousy is your go to.

from the archives: you once told people they would be accepted by you and your ilk if they admitted they were wrong. that announcement and offer gave very strange, cult leader- like vibes. so fucking odd. so here's this -if you can admit you're just a bitch who wants tumblr notoriety (HA) and has an axe to grind, we'll accept you. there's no prize for being an asshole online. ce will never care if you were his greatest warrior on the world wide web. you're just another asshole existing on the same coin with the others and think you are better than everyone else.

i will definitely be using tags on this. i will continue to use them. and as you say: most people are doing no harm. they are discussing things in private chats, but i understand that you all are so upset about not being invited. i promise, being honest with yourself will set you free.

and grassy? shove your dollar store, rip off musing up your ass.

[chasedbyatlantic]

highway to hell, joel miller

masterlist summary: IN WHICH — ellie drives a car for the first time with you and joel attempting to teach her, but it doesn't go as you had imagined.

warnings: post outbreak!joel, pre jackson!era joel, female!reader, implied relationship, protective joel, secretive-ish joel, ellie being a fucking comedian as per usual, stripping, swearing. lmk if i missed anything!

wordcount: 2.7k

a/n: this is genuinely so funny to me. i can SO see ellie doing all of this HAHA. plz request ideas for fics i am out of them!!!! also if u want me to write for any other characters. remember to like, comment, reblog, and follow for updates! xoxo

—

It was no earlier than eight in the evening. The sun was just below the horizon (it was late autumn), and the breeze had started to pick up. You, Joel, and Ellie had been up since before the sunrise this morning, continuing your journey down to Wyoming. Right now, you were in the outskirts of the Illinois countryside, in some small town that was in a time capsule from decades ago.

Before the outbreak, you had worked with Joel (and his brother Tommy) in their contracting business, as a secretary (well, secretary-in-training). You decided to stick with him during his travels after the apocalypse had commenced, despite his bitching and complaining about you being there. Though, the complaining only happened for a short while, he learned to appreciate you and enjoy your company, you were one of the few people he had cared about in this horrible world.

It had only been a few months ago since you had met Ellie for the first time. You didn't like her at the start, to say the least - she was an 'annoying little shit', like Joel would say. All Ellie did all day was nag and pester both you and Joel, but she, as well as the two of you, learned to interact peacefully with one and other. Now, all three of you were inseparable. You sure as hell didn't mind this, but Joel didn't want Ellie (or you, for that matter) near him when he would get himself in shit. Oh well, you can't have everything you want.

Ellie was talking to the two of you about something she had probably learned from all the books she had read at the Boston QZ. To be honest, Ellie had taught you lots of things. Not any survival things, far from that, but brainy things that you would have probably needed if you actually ever lived a normal adult life - paying the government, how much you should ideally spend on groceries, etc.

You weren't paying attention to the girl beside you, tuning her out completely. You were far too tired to be in any more conversation than you had to be in right now, and you just really couldn't give a shit about the percentage rate of silverback gorillas being born in American zoos in the late nineties compared to the early eighties. As Ellie was talking, you had spotted a nice little home of sorts, one that the three of you could spend the night in.

"Hey," You had interupted the other two who were in small conversation, "we can spend the night there." A nod was sent from you to the direction of the small home. The other two went silent, Joel had sped up a tad bit, now in front of you and leading the way. "Wait out here, lemme check't out." With that, he was off inside.

Ellie turned to you, breaking the silence. "When're you gonna teach me how to drive, princess?" That was the nickname she gave you, princess. According to her, it was because everyone had always treated you like royalty. You thought different, but it was whatever. "How old're ya'? Twelve? Not yet, missy." This had earned a gasp from Ellie, like she had just seen a ghost. "Fourteen, actually! More adult than yo-"

She had gotten interrupted by Joel stepping out of the small home, "It's clear, y'all're safe t'come in." He did his little head motion, signalling you guys to come in. You began to walk, and Ellie was on your heel. You brought your hand around her shoulder, roughing up her hair. "Soon, promise."

When you two had entered the tiny abode, it reeked of old. You weren't sure if it was the contained moisture, or nobody cleaning the place in twenty years, but it smelled old. "Fucking Christ! Someone open a window!" was exclaimed from Ellie as she moved out from your grip, and plugging her nose. You and Joel had eyed one another, before you moved to the two windows (one each) and hoisted them open. An immediate relief was sent through the room, with a nice breeze of wind following suit.

"So much better." Ellie groaned, now moving over to the couch in the middle of the room. The house was not big at all, there were a total of three rooms. The living space, a bedroom, and a bathroom. The bathroom was totally out of commission, so that meant only two rooms. "Ya' can have the bedroom," Joel had said to Ellie, "We'll take the livin' room."

"Sleep with a fucking pillow divider, please. I am not babysitting any kids in the near future." This had earned a stern look from Joel, and a wack from you. "Bed, now." You told her after she yelped from the hit across her shoulder. "Jesus! Let me go piss, and then I'll go!" You tsked as Ellie quickly and efficiently moved out the front door, to go and do whatever she needed to do.

"Un-fucking-believable." You had only managed to get out, before sitting down on the couch. Joel had let out a small sigh as he removed his gun that was slung over his shoulder. "Kid's got'ta mouth." He sat down beside you, arm now draping around your shoulder. "I fucking know! How does she even- even know what that shit means? Swear ta' god, I was her age'n playin' with barbies."

After not replying to this, knowing it was just going to keep setting you off, he began to unbutton his shirt. You had glanced down, taking the hint Joel was giving to you. You had tugged at the hem of your jeans, sliding them off. This wasn't for sex, not tonight. You two had known each other for years, and you trusted each other with your lives, so you were both able to get undressed in front of each other without a caring what the other would think.

After Joel was just in his jeans, and you were just in your shirt and underwear, you two had melted into the couch. The couch was the cleanest part of the entire room, which was a huge plus- though, even if it wasn't, you would still have a great sleep on it shortly. Joel had his arm wrapped around you once again, and you were pulled into his bare chest. He hated PDA, so it was perfect when the two of you were just alone- even though Ellie knew something was up between the two of you.

"Can we take the day off tomorrow?" Your voice wasn't loud, just barely loud enough for him to hear. You ear was pressed against his chest, head rising everytime he inhaled and exhaled. "'M sorry, ya' know we can't." After Joel had said this, an audible exhale was heard through the room. Joel's thumb started to rub up and down your shoulder, his hand staying in place. "Don'tcha worry, baby. Only a bit longer, then we'll get time, 'kay?"

Before you had time to respond, you heard a booming sound coming from a bit away. It was an engine. You shot up, causing Joel's arm to fall off of you. He had grunted as he sat up, his brain running a thousand miles per minute right now. Then, you two both had a moment of realization. "Ellie."

It felt like an eternity for the both of you before you had your clothes back on, when in reality it only took about fifteen seconds. "We shouldn't have fuckin' let her go out there." Joel had stated as he grabbed his gun and quickly made his way to the door. You were on his heel as Ellie was to you earlier, praying nothing had happened to her. If something did, you would never forgive yourself- and Joel sure as hell wouldn't forgive you either, despite it not being any of your fault.

The door had burst open as the two of you emerged from it, eyes scanning everywhere all at once, looking for the small brunette. As you did this, you could see some sort of headlights approaching quickly. You had grabbed Joel's arm and pulled him down with you. By the speed the car was approaching at, they wouldn't see you at all if you were on the ground. Joel had his gun aimed towards the approaching vehicle (the only reason he hadn't taken a shot was because he couldn't get a clear one, due to how fas the car was going).

Before you could even process it, the car was stopped in front of where you and Joel were, and the window had rolled down. A honk or two was set out, very loudly. You still weren't able to process what was happening, neither did Joel. Finally, after a moment or two, you snapped back (harshly) into reality). "Is that-"

"Get in fuckers, we're going on a road trip!" The familiar brunette you two were so scared you had lost was, in fact, sitting in the front seat of this random pickup truck, the biggest fucking grin on her face. You were on your feet just after Joel was on his, he looked like he was about to kill someone. "Get out'ta the fuckin' car, Ellie." He had slung his rifle back over his shoulder once he knew that she wasn't some sort of raider.

"No can do, Joel-ly boy. I already got yours and the princess's bags in the back. Hop in, I need to show you this cool fuckin' shit I found!" You had only turned to look at Joel, his view still at the young girl. He was thinking to himself. First of all, how the fuck did Ellie find the keys for the corresponding car, and how the fuck was she able to drive it without any previous experience or help? He was dumbfounded at the moment.

All you could do was grab Joel's arm and lead him to the car, Ellie was refusing to get out and well- you promised to teach her how to drive. God, he was going to kill you later. "I told her I'd uh- you know, teach her." You had audibly gulped, your eyes not meeting Joel's. He was silent, the only thing heard was some Brittany Spears song Ellie had playing.

Once your eyes had met his for a split second, he gave a 'fine, but we're having a long talk about this later' look to you. You opened the door for him like the nice person you were, and he hesitantly got in. You were so nervous right now, you felt like you had broken Joel's trust by doing this. But hey, if for some reason Ellie is on her own in the future, she needs to know how to drive a car.

You made your way to the other side and got in the passenger seat. Joel was sitting in the middle seat of the second row, his hands resting on the shoulder of the seats in front. Once the door was shut, you most definitely did your seat belt up. You had turned your head to eye Ellie, as she just grinned at you. "First rule, always wear your fuckin' seatbelt."

You could tell her heart fell by this, "Right- my bad." She quickly pulled the piece of material over her chest and into the lock. "Alright, now-" She had reached over you, and to the compartment in front. "I found some killer albums. Ones that our Joel-ly boy would love. I'm playing them so the mood isn't totally fucked."

You shook your head, eyeing Joel through the rearview mirror. He met the gaze, looking absolutely annoyed. Though, he was silent and just watching what the two of you were doing. Ellie had finished fumbling with the tapes, and removed the one that was playing. She put the new one into the radio system, and tossed the recently-played one into the compartment. The play button was hit.

"Okay, uh- where do I start? I guess now we talk about the gears? Basically, you'll take the shift and-" Your heart had dropped as you were suddenly cut off by the engine roaring, and now going about eighty miles an hour. For some fucking reason, Ellie was laughing. You and Joel were sure as hell not laughing, as a matter of a fact, Joel was screaming with you.

Some 'oh my fucking god!'s and some 'stop!'s were heard through the music, that was now blaring through the car's speakers. Taking a fraction of a second to listen into the music, you had figured out it was Highway to Hell by AC/DC, an old rock band that was popular when Joel was growing up. How fucking fitting for these circumstances.

Joel's hand, from the back seat, had found your shoulder as he held you to the back of your seat. He didn't have his seatbelt on, but he didn't care. He had to make sure you wouldn't go fucking flying through the front windshield if Ellie came to a halting stop. "Stop the fuckin' car! Slowly- off the gas! Jesus Christ!" He was screaming from the back.

Sure, adrenaline was an exhilarating feeling every once in a while, but going eighty miles an hour in a car from someone with zero driving experience? Not exhilarating one bit. Though, Ellie would beg to differ. She was draining out the screams and panicked tones coming from both you and Joel, and was just having a great time.

After another minute or two of screaming and pleading for the girl to stop, the song came to an end- and so did her manic driving. "Ellie-" You were panting, like you had just ran a marathon. In reality, you were panting because you had just held your breath from the exact time the engine accelerated, until now. "-Ellie, pull the fucking car over. Please god." You were in no means religious, but right now you felt like you needed to go to church and pray.

Ellie didn't really know how to pull over properly, so she just- swerved off the road and pushed the car's "off" button. Joel's hand had fell from your shoulder, and he brought both to his face. He covered his face by his hands for a moment, and Ellie smiled to herself. She felt accomplished by this, even though she almost fucking killed everyone (including herself).

After a moment of silence, Joel had made a sound. It sounded like he was crying. Both you and Ellie, in unity, had turned to him in the backseat. It was so muffled that you did think Joel was crying. You immediately brought your hand to his knee, your heart still racing from what had just happened.

It was only after you did this that you realized he was in fact not crying, but had bursted out with laughter. Joel fucking Miller, the most serious man on the planet, was laughing after he almost just died. You had removed your hand from his knee and turned back forward, shaking your head and crossing your arms. "This isn't funny, Joel!"

Ellie turned back after you, glancing in your direction. She couldn't help but burst out with laughter too. Not at you, but at everything (it also didn't help that she, along with you two, were exhausted). Your gaze went from forward, to the left of you, to Ellie. You could only shake your head, disappointed.

But, if you were disappointed, why had you started to laugh as well? This situation sure as hell wasn't funny, to you at least. "I hate you guys." You managed to get out between your laughter fits. Even if you were setting a bad example right now, you couldn't help it. Everyone's laugh was so contagious, despite the current situation.

Moments like this, you would remember forever. You would remember this as the time your psycho kid almost killed you while driving for the first time, and all three of you bursting out with laughter afterward. Even though the world had ended, you couldn't help but enjoy the small moments like this, where you almost died (but didn't), just being surrounded by the people you had loved more than anything. You had learned so much from moments like this, like not to let a fucking fourteen your old girl drive a car without proper lessons, or that Joel Miller was in fact not made out of stone, and he was able to laugh alongside the rest of you.

Even though the world you used to know was gone, you were happy that, whenever it came, you would get to spend your last minutes surrounded by the people you loved most. Joel and Ellie.

—

highway to hell, ac/dc

[hamliet]

what do you think of hamlet and juilet as characters? what is their purpose and role in the story?

Oh boy, two of my favorites! In case my usename wasn't a tell haha. Here's something I wrote in the past.

Apparently they both have "whiney teen" reputations now? They're both not. At all.  

Juliet is a teenage girl who has grown up in a war zone and comes alive with love. She, like Romeo, chooses to focus on love when they've only known bloodshed. Like, they are brave kids, not whiney cowards. 

I've written a lot on her; she's one of my favorite characters in all of literature. She's a deliberate deconstruction of the idealized woman of the literary day, the character who changes the most in the play, and her faithfulness and loyalty are stated over and over again, including in the play's closing lines, to be her defining characteristics. That she's reduced to a flighty, insecure needs-a-man, hysterical image is textually wrong. Juliet is That Girl. 

Also, unlike every other Shakespearean tragedy, Romeo and especially Juliet die as the best versions of themselves, not as a parody of what they started out as like, say, Othello or Hamlet...

Ah, Hamlet. I love him for how tragic his arc is--to go from someone who is trying his best in horrible circumstances to still be a good person and honor those he loves to being someone who has unwittingly helped destroy everyone he loves, and become the murderer he desperately didn't want to be.

Hamlet is a college-aged kid who comes back over break to find his dad is dead and his mom married his uncle. Idk about you but I think that'd give anyone a complex. Not to mention his source of comforts all turn on him (except Horatio); two of his school friends spy on him, and his girlfriend is ordered by her dad to play it cool instead of, you know, be there for him. He wouldn't have needed a ghost to end up in a mental health crisis contemplating "to be or not to be."

Despite it all, he still wants to slow down and think. He doesn't want to do the wrong thing. Problem is he delays too long--because he does not want to be a murderer--and when he does act, it's sloppy and he murders the father of the girl he loves by mistake.  

But lest you think I'm throwing anyone under the bus, I'm not... well, besides Claudius, Polonius who is a bad dad, and Rozencrantz and Guildenstern who were bad friends. Hamlet's mom and girlfriend though? 

Gertrude's decision to marry Claudius--while Shakespeare never gets into her interior world, there are a few possibilities and they mostly looks terrible and contradictory. The Ghost accuses Gertrude of adultery before his murder thanks to the hasty elopement, but never accuses her of murder and even tells Hamlet to "leave her to Heaven." If Gertrude really was cheating, then she willingly marries someone she has to know is a murderer (unless she's beyond dumb).

Or, let's think pragmatically according to the day. If Gertrude had not married Claudius instantly (most probably she seduced him), how long do we think she and Hamlet would stay alive? Because Hamlet's existence is a threat to Claudius's reign even by Denmark's elective monarchy of the day (plus he was abroad when the murder happens). By marrying Claudius Gertrude may be literally trying to save herself and her son--only issue is, no one sees it like that, and how to explain that to her son, who's been raised in a patriarchal society? 

Ophelia doesn't have much choice, either. Women's sexuality being considered "property" of a man is very much at play as a motif in the play, and given the implications (pretty strong, I'd say) that Hamlet and Ophelia were indeed sleeping together, their hands were pretty tied. Ophelia pulling back (essentially ghosting him, heh) confuses him especially when he's at his most vulnerable, and then he hits her where she's most vulnerable: all his insults to her are sexually charged, essentially accusing her of not being a virgin, when in reality she probably isn't because of him. And that's before he kills her father by mistake. Once Hamlet murders Polonius, Ophelia also has to deal with the fact that she's probably never getting married to anyone, ever. No wonder she also goes insane.

Hamlet laments that Denmark is all corrupted at the start of the play, and the royal court of Elsinore most of all. Which it is, and unfortunately he cannot escape this corruption.

[robotnik-mun]

Once again, it is time for that rare moment where I talk about Deltarune instead of Sonic stuff. And today, I've decided to talk about one of the many mysteries of the setting.

Namely... what did Asgore DO?

One of the constants kept over from Undertale in Deltarune was the sad reality that Asgore is still divorced from Toriel, and their post-divorce relationship is... less than ideal, with Asgore desperately trying to get back into Toriel's good graces and Toriel being none-too-thrilled about it. And its pretty clear that whatever happened in the divorce, it's taken a pretty bad toll on Asgore. It's implied he doesn't have visitation rights, and no longer lives in the same house as Tori, instead living in his flower shop. And his present state of living is just... almost too depressing for words.

So yeah, things are not looking great for ol' Asgore. But that does beg the question- what happened THIS time? Recall that in Undertale, Toriel's hostility to Asgore was predicated on both him murdering six children as well as basically getting everyone's hopes up for who-knows-how-long rather than taking one soul and going straight to business after escaping the Underground. How justified she is is going to be the subject of endless debate, now and forever, but at the core of things in Undertale its pretty clear that this hostility comes from some VERY grim circumstances.

Given the more comparatively mundane nature of Hometown and the Light World, its pretty clear that whatever circumstances led to Toriel and Asgore divorcing couldn't be anywhere near as horrible as what happened in Undertale. There's no fantastic circumstance here- Monsters live on the surface as humans do (that we know of), and while Asgore is not exactly held in high regard by Hometown these days, he none the less leads a free, if somewhat depressing life.

So again, what happened here? Why is it that Asgore is still divorced?

As it stands, with everything else, we only got two chapters to go by, and as such we need to work with a LOT of contextual clues to try and piece together even a vague idea of how things reached this point.

And believe it or not, one the key bits of insight we have? Is none other than Rudy Holiday.

Rudy is established as having been friends with Toriel and Asgore in college, and is all but stated to have been Asgore's best man at their wedding, and even in the present is still close to the both of them even though they are no longer together. Out of all the people we talk to in Hometown, Rudy is the one with the most positive stuff to say about Asgore, and Asgore recipricates this by visiting Rudy in the hospital daily, with new flowers for each visit. And while we don't witness it for ourselves, it is revealed that Toriel ALSO visits Rudy and is implicitly close to him as well, with Rudy even suspecting that Kris' visit was done at Toriel's prompting (and sadly probably WOULD be if we weren't using them as a meat-puppet).

This might not seem like such a big deal, but I feel it reveals something very crucial about what might have happened, if only in the abstract. It tells me that whatever happened? While it was serious enough to prompt the divorce and cause Toriel to no longer love Asgore, it WASN'T bad enough that Rudy doesn't think ill of Asgore, or enough to cause Toriel to no longer wish to associate with Asgore or Rudy with her. He bears no malice to anyone in the Dreemurr family, and this is an important detail, because it would seem extremely improbable that things between the three of them would be this hunky-dory if Asgore really did do something legitimately terrible.

Which, admittedly, isn't impossible... but it does feel unlikely, under the circumstances we presently see.

Given the way Dark Worlds reflect something of Lightners, some have suggested that maybe the Card Kingdom just as easily reflects something of Kris as it does Susie. While King mirrors Susie's earlier statements, one cannot help but notice that King is an enormous, pseudo-mammalian king with a hefty build, almost like a warped mirror of Asgore. And that comparison becomes all the more concerning when you consider how, as we go on, its revealed that Kris was once a very mischievous little kid... one can imagine that, perhaps, Kris was very much like Lancer, once upon a time. And if that's the case, then maybe it’s not a coincidence that King threatened both Lancer AND Kris directly.

It's a tempting thought... and oh, the warped implications it would carry, given that in Chapter Two its revealed that King wasn't going to go through with his threat and actually CARES about Lancer, despite earlier evidence to the contrary? Now THAT would imply some ugly-ass things about Kris' thoughts and feelings about their father. Or Susie's, if you believe the Card Kingdom is primarily 'meant' for her. It does make an eerie amount of sense, does it not?

Only... not quite. It’s tempting to think Asgore might have done something to Kris in a moment of weakness, but honestly? I really, really doubt it. Because let's face it, if Asgore had hurt or done something out line with Kris? It's incredibly doubtful that Toriel would ever allow Kris to get anywhere NEAR Asgore, and Rudy likewise would probably have little to do with Asgore over something like that. Oh, sure, friends will stick with friends, but that feels like something not even Rudy could overlook. And then there's the whole 'Eggs-Husband' incident...

... God that was painful. Like, kudos to Toby Fox, I don't think I've EVER felt that kind of secondhand embarrassment from a piece of media ever. It really was just a masterpiece of utter and complete failure. Still, it's important in helping to frame where everyone stands in this divorce, because while Toriel does try to get away from Asgore as fast as possible after his disastrous attempt at punnery (and who could blame her?), she none the less is willing to hear him out when he wants to talk about Asriel's return (possibly about the divorce itself).

It's important to note that, again, context is key here. Earlier in Chapter 1 its established that Asgore keeps sending Toriel flowers, which inevitably wind up in the trash, and likewise she rebuffs his deeply ill-conceived attempt to re-connect with her at Sans' store. But from what we see so far, it may not necessarily be that Toriel hates Asgore, so much that he refuses to get a clue about where they stand and persists in these self-sabotaging attempts to curry her favor. While the problem might be rooted in whatever happened in the past, it’s pretty clear that a BIG part of that is due to Asgore's present behavior. How do we know this? Because she still hears him out when he ISN'T trying to get into her good graces.

I feel that if Asgore had done something to Kris, or done something REALLY bad? Then he wouldn't even get that much. As it stands we don't know enough to say for sure, and all we can do is look at how people act and try and come up with some idea of things, but I'm willing to bet that while Asgore made some kind of serious misstep? He didn't do something unforgivable... just something severe enough that it would justify Toriel leaving him, with his refusal to let go simply making things that much worse over time given that its clear Tori CAN be civil with him. He just makes it difficult due to his overbearing and embarassing behavior... again, we can only infer things, but I do feel like a large part of Toriel's hostility stems from Asgore's inability to back off more than anything else, even the events that caused the divorce.

I can of course, be wrong, about all of this. We have only two chapters and nothing else to go by. But there is one last piece of this puzzle that I think offers an even better insight into why things happened as they happened- the reveal that Asgore used to be the chief of Homedown's police department, and that he was made to step down under unknown circumstances, hence why Undyne, a rookie, is now Hometown's police chief. We don't know what happened yet, but whatever did happen? Kris doesn't like to read about it, keeping Us from seeing what happened. It could be because they don't want us prying into their family's business just in general, but there's also a really good chance that it may be simple guilt that keeps them from reading the rest of that article.

And from here, we can paint a pretty compelling picture of what may have happened. As we know, Dess Holiday, Rudy's oldest daughter and Asriel's childhood best friend, went missing under mysterious circumstances. Dess' mother is mayor of Hometown, and its strongly hinted that whatever happened, DEss is now trapped somewhere in the Dark World (or worse), and other hints seem to indicate that Kris might in fact be aware of this, and its hinted that this event may have occurred near the mysterious bunker in the forest that Kris is explicitly afraid of. More interestingly, schoolmates Snowy and Monster Kid seem to be aware of this fact as well, which brings some interesting implications of itself.

Either way, with these details we can imagine a very probable chain of events for how things went down- Kris and Dess did something or the other at the Bunker, which led to Dess possibly being whisked away to the Dark World. Asgore, as police chief, is tasked with finding Dess. His inability to find Dess leads to him being fired by her mother, the mayor, and this would probably lead to the personal troubles at home that would lead to him eventually being divorced from Toriel and living on his own. This seems to be the general consensus among fan-interpretations, and  honestly? It seems pretty probable that this, or something like this, is how the divorce went down... and maybe why Kris is the way Kris is, in the present.

There is however an interesting little wrinkle in this formula, though out of everything I mentioned, this one is possibly the longest shot. Earlier in the game when we explore Asgore's store, we find a very terse note from his landlord telling him point blank that he has a month to pay the rent, even suggesting he start selling the flowers rather than giving them away. All that we know about this landlord is that their first initial is "C". So, where does the long shot come in? There is a possibility that "C" is none other than Mayor Holiday, Rudy's wife and Dess' mother, and previously Asgore's boss. What evidence do we have to suggest this? Mayor Holiday is described as being very good at her job while also not being great with people, and is evidently very driven and intimidating, so much so that Noelle is actively afraid of her. The way the note is written is not very formal, nor is it very sociable either... and there are more than a few Christmas related terms that start with "C". A lot of the fandom seems to have settled on "Carol".

Again, this could be a long shot, one built entirely by conjecture. But if this "C" is indeed mayor holiday? That's where the wrinkle comes in. Because if Mayor Holiday is willing to give Asgore a business and overlook past failures to pay the rent, then it may be that his leaving the force wasn't JUST because of his failing to find Dess... or rather, if Mayor Holiday had any part of it, it actually wasn't out of personal anger at him failing to find her daughter. If "C" is Mayor Holiday, then in this context it means that whatever (probably negative) feelings she has towards Asgore, they're not enough to stop her from trying to help him get back on his feet. You might argue that if she IS involved in his flower shop venture it might be more due to Rudy than her, but then if Rudy has this much sway over her, she wouldn't have fired Asgore for not being able to find Dess.

Granted, there's always the 'Dying Wish' factor, though we don't know how long Rudy's been sick...

But still- firing someone for a personal reason would be a VERY bad breach of ethics, and from what we've seen (or haven't) of the mayor so far is that whatever her personality flaws, she isn't actually corrupt or anything. Hometown is so peaceful and orderly that the police force isn't really regarded as necessary! Quite the accomplishment... and firing Asgore for personally failing her would be the kind of conflict of interest that could jeopardize those accomplishments, understandable as it might be in this instance.

So, what would this imply for Asgore and his leaving the force? I believe that while Dess vanishing was the catalyst for everything, it wasn't the direct cause of Asgore losing everything. I imagine that failing to find Dess for an undetermined amount of time weighed heavily on Asgore, given that this is his best friend's daughter, a daughter who is the best friend of Asriel at that.

My hypothesis, as such? Is that Asgore's failing to find Dess slowly ate away at him, and that this caused things at home to get tense, before his eventual desperation led him to do something he shouldn't have, thus leading to him being removed from the force, and leading to further troubles at home, culminating in him saying or doing SOMETHING that led Toriel to divorce him.

I don't have any authority to definitively suggest what it might have been. But I DO feel confident that if Dess' disappearance had anything to do with Asgore's dismissal from the force? It wasn't as simple as the mayor being angry with him and removing him due to that anger, but because of something Asgore himself did in reaction to his own failure at finding Dess, and that this in turn led to whatever would happen to cause his divorce from Toriel. I believe this, because while Asgore has fallen on very hard times, the worst of what he's going through is due to his own poor choices that we can see, and however pitiful his current state, he isn't alienated/exiled from the people in his life. And if he had done something REALLY bad? I don't think that would be the case.

Of course, I can be wrong. Heck, I probably am. We only got two games to go by, and as such virtually everything I say is ultimately just conjecture, some a bit more supported by game text, and some less. But whatever the reality is? I'm VERY confident that Asgore didn't do anything evil... but it was still enough to cost him everything. Given the themes going on in the light world, it'd make sense that rather than anything big or dramatic, the truth just turned out to be something simple, unglamorous, and quietly sad.

Just like in real life, a lot of the time.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Since its hand her over asks- will we get a pt 2 for Mochi? Like comforting each other after what happened

(I am actually sucker for angst, so maybe founding out his wife is pregnant but they both don't know who the father is Mochi or Sanzu)

Hand Her Over II (Part 3): Kanji Mochizuki/ Kokonoi Hajime & Inupi Seishu x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.4k

tw: it's gonna fuckin' hurt

masterlist

Hand Her Over Megapost

Kanji Mochizuki

"See? Your baby is right... there." Mochi closes his hand into a fist as he sits beside you. You're quiet, too, looking at the screen with a blank face.

The nurse doesn't know the truth. And even when you two leave the building, it feels like this horrible secret will remain between the two of you... and your child.

The passenger door is opened for you, and before you can climb inside, Mochi takes your hand.

"Hey." You look up from the ground and into his eyes. "I don't care if it's his," Mochi finally murmurs, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. "I'll love it regardless."

You stand there. The wind ruffles your skirt as you stare at Mochi, and your eyes glaze over. Tears - little ones, not the big ones Mochi is used to - drop from your eyes. But you push them away and pull away from Mochi, even though it's the last thing he wants right now.

What he would prefer is to have you next to him at night, sleeping soundly, unbothered by the whole ordeal. It would be perfect if the two of you could forget about it and move on. But life is never that easy.

"Can you help me out of my shoes?"

Mochi closes the back door and latches it as soon as you both are inside. That's a new habit of his, even though he's in a gated community.

"Sure, baby." When he stoops down to unstrap your sandals, he notices the swelling of your ankles. "Do your ankles hurt?" Mochi's still on the floor, kneeling before you, and when he looks up at your face, all thoughts - except one - flee from his mind.

God, you're so beautiful.

Mochi can see it now: you're waddling into the kitchen with a hand on your stomach, grumbling about the baby kicking during your attempt at a nap. He's standing at the kitchen counter, pouring over the expense reports for the month and sipping his coffee. You sidle up next to him and kiss his temple before slamming the laptop shut and demanding his attention.

And hell, he'd gladly give it. Every single time.

"Mochi?" Your voice brings him out of the divine vision, and he exhales.

"Sorry. What'd you say, my love?"

"I said I think a foot rub would be nice." His smile is genuine, and Mochi ushers you to the bedroom with the common courtesy of a gentleman.

Foot rubs are something Mochi loves to do, and even more so now that you're pregnant with his child. His. No one else could claim them.

He grabs the lotion on the dresser and squeezes some into his hand, inhaling the lavender scent eagerly before approaching you. Your right foot is between his hands when you finally say something. Your voice is soft, but he can hear the intent behind your words.

"What if the child... looks like him?" Mochi shrugs.

"I won't mind." The child might inherit that fool's eyes, but that would be the worst of it. No scars. No pink hair. No menacing scowl. None of that.

"But I will." Mochi stops. You place your hand on your barely round stomach and inhale shakily. "I don't want to carry that monster's child." He'd never thought of that. Mochi feels a part of him deflate, and he looks away, considering that he could be further away from his ideal life than he thought. But you catch the look in his eye.

"You thought because you said you'd accept the child that everything would magically be okay, didn't you?"

"I never said that," Mochi replies, frowning.

"You didn't have to." You pull your foot away from his grip and scrunch your brows together. Tears come to your eyes again, and they're the fat ones - the massive droplets that mean he's fucked up.

"Baby, I--" Your lip quivers, and Mochi knows he's lost any footing the moment you begin to cry. Your hands come up to your face, and you sob, breaking Mochi's heart. "I'm sorry." He tries to cradle you in his arms, but you push him away roughly.

You don't say anything as you walk to the bathroom, leaving Mochi sitting on the bed alone.

Kokonoi Hajime

"Hey!" The Facetime calls are always brief, but Koko treasures them. Inupi is on the phone and rolling out of bed, shirtless. "What have you been up to? It's two p.m. over there."

"Just lazing around," Inupi murmurs, wiping his eyes and yawning.

"Are you taking naps now?" Kokonoi jokes, but Inupi shakes his head.

"What're you doing today? Or should I say tonight?" As Inupi walks around the mid-sized home, Kokonoi admires his purchase for the only man in his life.

"Just finishing up some work," Kokonoi lies, sipping from a wine glass leisurely. "Going to get ready for a night out after this." Inupi's eyes glow with mischief.

"You gonna get laid, huh?"

Kokonoi chokes on his wine. "What?" Inupi shakes his head and laughs, obviously amused.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Who's on the phone?" Kokonoi perks up at the sound of your voice, fully expecting to see you coming through the back door or something. But when you appear wearing only a bathrobe and freshly washed face, something in his gut sinks.

"Koko!" Your joyous shout is accompanied by a smile, and Kokonoi can't help himself. He smiles back. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he reassures you, then watches you plant a kiss on Inupi's temple.

"When are you coming to see us?" Inupi playfully swats your ass as you walk a little to the right and fully out of Kokonoi's sight. Kokonoi sees the silly grin he gives you, and suddenly, he feels... lost.

"Not... not for a while. It'll take some time for things to die down here." Inupi isn't fully paying attention, it seems.

The bare chest. The robe. The kiss. The--

"Well, when you do come, please bring y/n those fancy hair clips. She keeps breaking them."

"I'm not the one breaking them," you shout, just off camera.

"How do they get broken, then?" Kokonoi asks, not checking his tone before he speaks. Inupi looks down at the phone and sees Koko's face.

Maybe it's the lateness. Maybe it's the wine. Maybe it's the sight of his lovers moving on - and together - without him. Inupi stands up from his perch on the couch and walks away from the living room. Kokonoi doesn't speak or watch. He looks away as his lover's cheeks bloom red a little.

"Kokonoi," Inupi begins when he's out of your hearing.

"No, don't explain it to me." It's petty, and they both know it.

"You have to understand. She's been hurting a lot... We've been hurting a lot. I admit, it's kind of stupid when you think about it... We were with you, and now... we're with each other."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"She wanted to tell you immediately after it happened the first time."

"An accident?" Kokonoi's tone is sour, but he doesn't care. He's been left in the dark about this tryst for too long. Inupi sighs, sitting on the ottoman at the foot of the bed, and he leans over, rubbing his eyes a little. "Was it an accident?"

"I was comforting her."

"So you started all of this?"

"It's not like that Koko--"

"Why didn't either of you tell me? She wanted to; why didn't you?"

Inupi pauses, then he looks away. "I didn't tell you... because I didn't feel guilty." The admission hits Kokonoi like a sack of bricks to the gut. "I didn't feel guilty at all. It felt so good, and I'd never really considered being with y/n like that until now."

"You want to have a family, is that it?" Inupi hangs his head. "You want her to be the mother of your kids, huh?"

"Hajime, please..." Inupi's voice is broken. "We can all still be a family."

"But you like fucking her more than you care about my feelings!"

"Fucking her?" Inupi looks down at the phone, and a flicker of rage crosses his features. Kokonoi huffs out a surprised laugh, leaning back in the chair and blinking.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you had feelings for her, Seishu?" Inupi flinches.

"Ever since you abandoned us at the airport."

"You've got to be kidding me." His thumb hovers over the end button, and Inupi doesn't even offer him the courtesy of a "wait." Koko ends the call, dropping the phone on the desk and looking at the arched ceiling.

Oh, what he wouldn't give for it to crumble in on him right now.

[pterobat]

I’ve realized I’m not as invested in House of the Dragon as I wanted to be, and I mostly feel the strongest emotions when I'm annoyed at other fans— like those who are way, way too invested in the patriarchal ideals of the Seven Kingdoms and those who use the term “girlboss”.

I do enjoy the show, but I'm not feeling strongly except for the dragons.

And I knew dragon material would be minimal, both for budgetary reasons and because the human story is the real meat. But despite the series depending on an Elric homage it turns out I’m just not that interested in high fantasy politicking or that sub-genre in general.

I will say I'm fine with making “teams” out of an ESH narrative, because it’s human nature to make “teams” regardless, and it’s rare to write a story where the author truly sides with nobody—even when their favorite side doesn't "win", the author favors someone.

Funnily, it was GoT that helped me understand that, as I watched this allegedly “neutral” story merely shave away important characters till the true MVPs were left--probably the same ones that GRRM intended.

And while it's hard to believe these days, there was also a time I really did believe the Targaryens were an ironic swipe at stereotypical fantasy and not GRRM's favorite children. Wow.

Anyway, my impression was less that the TV series favored Team Black but that it was doing a slow burn on everything because of adult complexities. The same need to be grounded was why we didn't see the direct aftermath of Luc's death.

And that just because characters don’t literally say things aloud (Daemon sanctioning some child murder) or intend bad things to happen (Ser Steffon getting toasted wasn't on Nyra's order but it was "for her") or point out something is bad (did viewers really think the prophecy was supposed to mean the Targs were the good guys all along?) doesn't mean the narrative’s been sanitized.

However, I was ready for something fun to read when word of Martin's dislike of HotD came out, but when I expected to "popcorn" (remember when that was a verb?) I found out I _could_ get invested.

For some reason (maybe it is her NA aspect) I have a bee in my bonnet about perceiving TV Helaena as less caring simply because of her flat affect, and that was ultimately what this was about.

To be blunt, I don't find the changes to Blood and Cheese to be defanging anything--the original actually seemed a bit over-the-top by comparison.

And I'm having a bit of trouble seeing how what's in the TV series is //not// horrible enough that (WATCH THIS SPACE).

And TV Helaena first offering a necklace--dear God, that doesn't mean she only thinks her kids are worth that much. It's the heaven-forbid-characters-act-irrationally canard again. And freezing up is just as gut-wrenching as breaking down.

In short, I do not see this as the Le Epic Dunk but instead a writer being a bit precious.

I took a lot more issue with Alicent surrendering, since I thought she was the type to double down on her ideals when they start to creak. And sometimes mature storytelling includes characters _refusing_ to change. That is what might cook the show’s goose, but we’ll see in two years.

[lemonhemlock]

I honestly wonder if the writers are seeing what people think about/of this season or if they only look about the ones whonloves everything because they're here to "win" and don't care about the story in any way, because at this point is all a mess (yes, it had some thing that were ok, but it's... bad) and I can't see people really enjoying it

Even thought there's always someone saying "ACTUALLY" and whay if I just scream lol?

It's something I see happening all around, this "defence" squad of a media where the only goal is to gi against every criticism of said media

so there are two things to consider there: the general audience and the critics. since the general audience is made up mostly of team black stans and sympathizers, anything that portrays rhaenyra in a slightly less idealized light is going to get pushback. so i think the writers are honestly blind to that criticism bc they will kind of be expecting that, which is why they already treat rhaenyra with kid gloves.

the fans who are upset over the greens' writing are significantly fewer and honestly i think the writers have such a warped understand of the asoiafverse and of grrm's themes that they just see us as delulu. to them the greens = villains, so any attempt to humanize them a little must be way more than enough in their minds: to them, they have done the greens justice because they're not horrible monsters like ramsay or euron or joffrey. to them, of course they should be constantly punished, of course they should feel shitty, of course they don't really care about each other.

as far as the critics are concerned, i.... do not think that people who have not read the books + Fire & Blood are able to truly understand what the hell is going on here, because they just lack the context. even if they are professional critics. they HAVE just fallen out of the coconut tree in this story. because, if you expect the dance of the dragons to be this classic woman-gets-usurped-by-her-evil-brother's-family storyline, with a hero side and a villain side, as long as you humanize the villains a little bit and give the heroes some flaws, you're going to think this is business as usual.

if, instead, you know this is supposed to be a story in which both sides have equal weight in heroism and villainy, then the adaptation is horribly written. if you are familiar with the source material, you KNOW that rhaenyra has never been in any way this messianic figure tasked with ensuring a prophecy that will save the world. of course that changes the stakes massively, as well as one's opinion of the character and of the way others should interact with her. the dance of the dragons has never been about "saving the world" from the threat of the Others, it's the consequence of feudalism, patriarchy, not having an easily implementable legal system because you lack basic democratic institutions and the indifference of nobles towards massive destruction and civilian casualties.

i would have hoped, at least, that a professional critic could consider some egregiously out of place elements, such as the effusive praising of viserys, but HotD S2 has a score of 70 on Metacritic and i haven't seen any think pieces asking why the show is celebrating alicent's abuser, even by alicent herself. but, apparently, even in 2024, we are not asking ourselves why are we not calling out a 50-year-old man impregnating a teenager repeatedly against her will. 🤷‍♀️ i'm sure that for many it doesn't even track bc of the "it's game of thrones so it's to be expected" brainrot, as if those things were never meant to be critiqued and are just par for the course in this world

[nartml]

"now she even gets to parade around wearing that Uchiha crest like the trophy it is to her, while having done nothing to earn it!!!"

She's literally an Uchiha do you expect her NOT to wear it???💀 sakura haters get a brain challenge

Ah, yes, hello anon.

No time to chit-chat, let's break this down:

The fact that Sakura has that symbol plastered everywhere, even when Sasuke himself either never wears it or does so discreetly, is proof of how much of a trophy he is to her.

She doesn't love Sasuke. No, she doesn't love him, but she does love his status, the influence, the aura that comes with the Uchiha name.

Does she even know the truth about his clan? Is it even confirmed? And whether she does or doesn't, you realize how, well, not okay it is for her to wear that symbol so casually?

If she does know about his clan, then why is she okay with burying it under the rug? Why has she not raised a single concern about it ever? The fact that she would take no issue with Konoha, the system or just the injustice happening to the supposed love of her life, and still have the audacity to wear that crest is revolting.

And if she doesn't know? (Something that wouldn't be surprising, considering she didn't even know if he fucking wore glasses) Then that's a testament to how little she cares. And how little Sasuke cares too**. Because she could never truly understand who Sasuke is and why he's done what he's done, if she doesn't know the truth. And that she never cared to ask? It's either that she's delusional enough to assume she already knows him (which she doesn't; she knows the made-up idealized version of him) or that she doesn't truly care about Sasuke at all.

Plus, does she even truly understand what the Uchiha symbol represents? Does she, again, even care to learn?

Either way, she looks like a horrible person, and doesn't deserve nor has she earned the right to parade with that crest everywhere.

Sure, she might be an Uchiha on paper, but she shows no true respect for the clan, the symbol, and her husband.

____________________________________________

**In case you don't get what I mean here, anon, I'm saying that if Sasuke doesn't really care to tell her, well, that puts into perspective how few the fucks he gives about what Sakura thinks of him are. And if he doesn't tell her because he doesn't trust her, then shit, that might just be worse.

Anyhow, I love how you didn't even bother addressing any of my other points. Kindly saying this, don't even bother. This isn't an invitation to, I'm not interested.

(And I say that in an entirely neutral and good-natured tone, I actually feel very guilty the moment I say something even passively mean. Forgive me though, I can't resist sometimes)

And please, spare both of us from any escalation of this argument. We see things differently, it happens, it's a waste of energy ,especially because I'm right, you're wrong and maturing is realizing it /jk