#and for my mental sanity I kept it simple lol

[gengwasted]

In which: kaveh doesn’t tell any of his friends when his birthday is

But that doesn't stop Alhaitham from collecting gifts for every year he passed with the architect.

[maomao-words]

OOOO thank you :D!(also dw I’m a sucker for angst too but I can’t with hurt/no comfort so your fics hit damn hard :’)

Okay, now for the request

We all know that the boys gotta have some enemies

Luke cos he’s a 707(might want to sreenshot and draw on that part cos SPOILERS)

Marius, he’s a ceo, do I need to say more?

Artem?lawyer gotta have some big powerful enemies

And vyn, come psychologists jealous or smth idk about him brain ded rn

And now imagine those enemies taking it out on mc.

It’s not a wow idea, but I don’t know if you’ve read/watched hunger games, but they kind of torture the main character with the pained screams of their loved ones (which was just fake, they just took their voice and modified them so it sounded like they were being tortured and screaming for help)

Now imagine the enemies inflicting said torture on mc?

Maybe not with them being tortured (but if you do so, I’m not saying no you’re the writer you decide lmfao), but maybe saying some horrible things, starting from gentle loving words to slowly berating and downright shaming them, attacking their deepest insecurities. For days the voice plays while they’re trapped in a room and forced to listen to it, food and water delivered to them from a lil hole and basic things for human necessities but they can only focus on the Voice

Again, you can choose what the voice is saying or screaming, I’m okay as long as it hits hard and is horrible and makes cry(see? I might be more angst lover than you lmfao it’s my lifeline)

Then ofc they either get the mc back to the boy’s house like a nice lil gift or the boy destroy everything searching for them and when they find them…oooo mc might not be okay rn might wanna check on her

Also, each boy separately if I wasn’t clear enough lol

Pls pls pls try happy end I’m begging you on my knees 😭😭🙏🏻

Oh my, your request hits some good angsty spots ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

I adjusted your request a bit, but I hope I will be able to satisfy you all the same.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of blood, wounds and injuries, physical and mental torture. Overall, the following content may be highly distressing to individuals. Caution is advised.

(Tears of Themis): Torturing the boys with Dark!MC: 

Marius Von Hagen:

A soft click echoed in the dead silence of the room, successfully alerting a half-unconscious Marius and forcing him to open his weary eyes. The youth gritted his teeth in agony as he struggled to straighten up, the still-bleeding gashes on his stomach making the simple action a living hell. But Marius didn't pay attention to the blood endlessly dripping to the floor. It was time for 'that' again.

The monitor in front of his eyes flickered open and your now-familiar image, bound and strapped to a chair in a similar position as Marius, came into view. 'Those psycho fuckers-' Marius clenched his jaw tight, as rage and mental weariness started to creep upon him within seconds. He tried to pull himself together and prevent his mind from sinking into despair, but weeks spent in the torture room simply conditioned the young CEO to dread seeing you in that monitor.

At first, Marius screamed. He raged and yelled and threatened to erase his kidnappers from existence if they so touched a hair on you. He tried talking to you, gaining few weak words in response that allowed him to slightly relax. In the few first days, Marius held on to his sanity as he woke up on your gentle tone telling him to “hang on tightly, baby” and that “we will definitely go home soon.”

Even when Marius' skin was burned with cigarettes and his flesh was torn apart as the familiar-looking bastards took their time torturing him, he still kept himself together because you were there for him, whispering “it's going to be alright, it's going to be alright” over and over again in his ears.

Once the first week-mark was reached, Marius started to detect eerie wariness and despair in your tone. Your usual “I love you” turned into curt “please leave me alone” and “I don’t have the energy to talk at you, you’re not worth it anyway.” But Marius didn't mind. He didn't mind if you ignored him and remained silent as he begged you to respond. Marius only crumbled down when you pleaded to him to leave you alone, that “nothing you do will fix things, no amount of money will turn back time.” You blamed him for all that has happened and sarcastically thanked him for ruining your peaceful life.

That is when Marius snapped. His life did no longer matter for him. All he wanted was for them to stop hurting you. He was even ready to offer his onw neck if that made them satisfied enough to leave you alone. But those fuckers were never satisfied. They made you sob and scream and hate Marius even more as they forced him to see and hear it all.

Marius wished for death for the first time in his whole life.

Vyn Richter:

Vyn’s chest rose and fell as he took a few deep breaths. His mouth twisted, fresh blood dripping from his lips, despite his efforts to remain motionless. The woman in the white lab coat turned to glance at him, her beautiful features wriggling quickly into a look of disgust seeing Vyn’s calm face. Eventually, she clicked her tongue and carefully cleaned the tools sitting on the table before exiting the room in a foul mood.

Vyn took another deep breath, his eyes slightly trembling under the harsh light of the room. It was time for ‘that’ again.

Vyn could feel his heartbeat speeding up at the mere sound of the monitor being turned on. He clenched his jaw, mind conjuring up every sound and logical argument he could think of to persuade his own self to keep calm. But the human mind was such a terrible thing, Vyn were aware of that, and his breaths came out quick and short despite his best efforts. Anxiety was slowly settling in. The monitor in front of him hummed once again before a broken murmur echoed in the room; a quiet “I hate you” reached Vyn’s ears for the umptieth time that day.

“Nothing can shake down Dr. Richter!” Vyn remembered your gentle voice and sparkling eyes as you exclaimed a long time ago. That was an undeniably truth. Or at least, was an undeniable truth. From the very first days, Vyn had already formed doubts about the hunched figure strapped to a chair he was viewing in the monitor. Hearing you weakly mumble his name and desperately asking for him to reply had a significant effect on him, but did not manage to make him crumble. The possibility of this all being a mere sadistic game set up by whoever kidnapped him was too high for Vyn to simply lose his calm and allow his heart to be broken by your helpless yells.

Only when your voice, or the voice pretending to be you, told him in a clear and slow manner “I hate you” did Vyn began to feel his sanity slipping away. 

Ever since then, the voice changed. It no longer shouted in pain or howled in anguish. Instead, it began to drip in venom and spout poison. It mocked Vyn and picked at each one of his insecurities like it was nothing. “Did you really believe I loved you?” you, no no the voice, told Vyn one morning. “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low I had to pull my standards down for you,” you whispered in the middle of another night.

At each of your words, Vyn kept his face as neutral as possible, hoping that no one sees that his heart was what was actually bleeding.

Artem Wing: 

“You’ve never been loved, I can tell.” Your voice rang out in the eerie calm of the night; carrying a hint of undisguised hatred. Artem slightly flinched, his chest rising up and down in obvious difficulty, as he turned his gaze away from the monitor. “Is that why you easily believed I cared for you?” a haughty laugh followed your words, making Artem’s hunched figure shiver once again. Few seconds passed as the attorney brought his breathing back into control and clenched his jaw tight. He will not crumble down completely. Not yet.

The kidnappers, the sickest people to ever exist on this planet if Artem had to judge, carefully thought this out. Artem was known for his calm rationale and steel nerves. They were aware that mental torture would not have yielded any results if they didn’t select ‘something’ important enough for Artem to panic.

For the first few days, Artem intensely studied what was supposed to be his lover’s voice and judged it to be fake with certainty. But knowing something and not reacting to it were two completely different things. Artem knew it was a trap. Knew it was all for the purpose of forcing him to break down and to bring him down to his knees. But hearing your voice, dripping with raw hatred, picking at each one of his insecurities and mocking his affection for you proved to be more draining than one could ever imagine.

Secrets he has only ever divulged to you, precious childhood memories, his deepest regrets and pettiest doubts were all dragged into light and exposed. Every word shook Artem’s once stable-core and made him doubt his own judgement. Questions (is it really you? are these her true feelings?) haunted the older man day and night, bringing him to the brink of madness.

And the voice never really stopped. It was always there, waiting, watching and looking out for openings to fully bring Artem to his knees. Physical torture never truly bothered the attorney. He was able to handle it; the pain and the blood. He was able to grit his teeth and bear it all. If only the voice remained silent for one day, then Artem would have been able to collect his wits and remain sane.

But his sole wish never came true. For the voice actually stopped echoing a long time ago. It was just in his head now instead.

Luke Pearce:

“Fucker.” Luke heavily panted as he leaned on the wall. He raised his left hand and harshly wiped the blood dripping down his lips. The laugh that rang out at that second, as if its owner was precisely waiting for Luke to curse her out, made the young agent frown more intensely. “Fuck-” Luke cursed once again.

In fact, it was quite impossible to keep Luke under control for long. Three days were all that took for him to unlock his restraints and escape the gloomy basement he was being kept at. But even as Luke made him way up the complex hallways of the building he was brought to, comfort never really filled his heart. His kidnappers were careful; way too careful in fact. Taking into consideration Luke’s exceptional abilities, they prepared for his escape. Instead of trying and failing, to restrain him, they opted for another alternative. Mental torture.

When he first heard your voice, desperately calling for him for help, Luke froze for an entire minute with his eyes trembling before he finally got back into control. The possibility of his kidnappers faking your voice in order to toy with him was too high for Luke to simply lose his bearings. But slowly, the pain became too harsh to bear. For the simple cry for help was just the beginning of the real torture. 

“You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.” Once the words were uttered, Luke froze in his attempt to destroy the electronic lock on the door in front of him. He heavily swallowed and closed his coral eyes, desperately trying to regain his composure. His hands started to move again, albeit more slowly this time, and the voice did not miss this opening. “We are never going to have a happy ending, just remember that,” you whispered in half-broken words and Luke’s hands stopped once again.

Oh, how much he wished he could escape your voice. But the building’s security proved to be much harder than Luke originally anticipated. Without his proper tools, Luke’s progress through his escape was too slow. Too slow to salivate his sanity.

The voice accompanied him, all day and all night, never growing tired and never really yielding. All it did was scratch at all of Luke’s hidden wounds until they bled, left them alone so they can fester, before picking at them again. Throughout it all, Luke simply took one step forward, gritting his teeth all while not knowing what do you with all of his broken pieces of his heart.

He had to go home to you. 

Author’s notes:

I got my inspiration for the ‘voice’ dialogue from these prompts here and here! Who knew being mean to someone was this hard?

The request specifically asked for a happy end, but I usually write Hurt/No Comfort better ಥ_ಥ

Buuuuut, for those who reached here and still want a happy end, I will let you into a little secret. The voice is not MC’s, in reality. She was not kidnapped nor tortured. After few weeks, she manages to locate her lover (with the extensive help of Darius and Celestine) and successfully rescues them. They do eventually get better with MC’s help and assistance (and lots and lots of therapy, y’all).

If I do have enough inspiration, I might add the rescue scene to these headcannons. 

[thisisawonderfulusername]

let’s save the world

season one, episode five

five hargreeves x reader

summary: finally explaining what was going to happen to luther, as well as making a deal with the handler

trigger warnings: cursing,

word count: 6k

flashbacks are in italics

a/n: i’m sorry that this one took a bit longer than all the other chapters, i’ve just been busy with a bit more schoolwork lately lol. but i hope you enjoy it! i had fun writing it *3* plus it’s the longest thus far, so maybe that makes up for the time gap lmao

you couldn’t remember how long it’d been since you got stuck here. years. lots of them. years since you had last seen five- seen anyone at all. the seasons changed and all you were doing was surviving. it wasn’t what you wanted for yourself, but you were too afraid to just give up and die. so you kept going, hoping that one day you would escape this nightmare or just fall to the ground, the life finally drained from your body.

most of the days were spent alone. you remember the day you first saw another living being. a dog. a beautiful german shepard. you weren’t sure how she had survived the apocalypse, but you didn’t care. she was like a ray of light beaming down on you after you had been left alone in the dark for too long, the pitch black being all you remembered, until you saw her.

she was named miracle, for obvious reasons. she stayed with you throughout many years, as she had been just a few months, at most a year old. in the hot summer, where ashes blew through the air in the wind, you found her some of those doggy goggles, to protect her eyes from the smoke and ash. in the winter, when it was freezing cold and snowing almost every day, sometimes to the point of not being able to travel at all, you would wrap her in as many blankets or put as many clothes made for dogs that you could find just to keep her warm. sometimes, you even carried her for hours, sometimes even a whole day. you swore she was the reason you kept your strength- both physical and mental.

she had been your delores. but you didn’t fall in love with her, of course- and she was actually a real, living thing. you were extremely lucky to have found her.

when she inevitably died and you were left alone again, you were beginning to think it was the end of your days. your hair had grayed, and you felt tired. tired of searching for your next meal, for a place to take shelter in a storm or a blizzard that was impossible to navigate.

you were ready to give up at that point. your fear of death was dwindling. you had given up hope of finding five again. who knew where he was? if he was dead? if he had went back to your time and totally forgot you? every once in a while, he would pop up in your mind, and you would think about him for hours, just wondering. but never hoping.

you remember the day you got everything back. it had started with fear, but ended with you getting a nice haircut, a shower, and some new clothes. the world was even kind enough to give five back. you thought it was all a dream and you had finally died, but you hadn’t.

it was when you were walking, yet again. your hiking pack that you were lucky to have found slowed you from all of the weight it held, but every last bit of that burden was important.

you thought you were seeing things at first, when you noticed the figure of a woman in the distance. you had pulled your pistol out of the holster resting against your thigh, prepared to shoot if it happened to be real. you didn’t know what it would be. a monster, some other survivor who may try to steal your supplies- you didn’t know, but you also didn’t care. if it was living, it was a threat.

as you got closer, the hand gun clutched tightly in your hand, you saw that it was a woman. certainly, she hadn’t been surviving in this apocalypse like you had. she was well groomed, hair in perfect curls with makeup done to perfection and a nice dress adorning her body. no, this was your eyes playing tricks on you. it was impossible for her to exist.

you had finally gone truly insane, after all these years.

-

you had awoken to a pounding headache and a terrible pain in your thigh, groaning as you buried your face into the pillow beneath your head. there was a conversation happening around you, but you tuned it out, trying to focus on the pain slowly dulling and everything you felt around you.

you were laying on a bed, that much was obvious. another obvious thing you noticed was the fact that your arm was wrapped around something- or, someone.

finally lifting your head, you squinted as you saw five’s back to you. your arm had been wrapped around his waist. sitting up, you quickly remove it, feeling a bit of heat on your face which you ignored.

“finally, you’re awake.” five interrupted the exchange between him and luther, turning to look at you as you scooted to sit by his side, running your fingers through your messy hair to fix it up.

after yawning softly, you nod, “i sure am.” you mumble, thankful that the pounding in your head had dimmed to a slight ache that you could easily ignore. your leg still felt like it was on fire, but you felt that you could suck it up and deal with it for now. “what’re you guys talking about?”

luther seemed serious, and you had a feeling you already knew, you just needed some confirmation. “the end of the world.” he states simply, and you nod, your suspicions correct. “so the eye’s a dead end?” he questions, handing the glass back to the boy, who nods.

before you can even get a word in, the door slams open, causing you to practically jump out of your skin, standing from the bed as diego storms in. “you have any idea what you two did?” he questions loudly, and just before he can do anything to either of you, luther grabs him, his feet dangling over the floor. he yells at him to put him down, but he doesn’t back down, waiting until he calmed down.

“wanna tell us what the hell you’re on about?” you ask, eyebrows furrowed as you take your seat once again, fully awake now from the scare.

diego looked at the two of you, the anger he held clear. you would be scared if you didn’t have the ability to burn him to a crisp, but, you did. “these two have been pretty busy since they got back.” he points a finger at you guys accusingly, and you roll your eyes, “they were in the middle of the shootout at griddy’s, and then at gimble brothers, and when those guys attacked the academy, they were looking for them.”

“actually, i wasn’t a part of the gimble brothers one. that was all him.” you wave a hand in five’s direction, but it doesn’t change the fact that diego is pissed. “and either way, it isn’t of your concern what we’ve been doing.”

“it is now.” diego breathes heavily, shaking his head, “they killed my friend.”

now that, you weren’t totally expecting. sure, the commission was ruthless and did whatever it took to carry out a mission, but how did his friend get into the middle of all of this? luther turned back to look at the two of you, urging you to explain.

sighing softly as he looked to the floor for a moment, five gave them what they wanted. “they work for our former employer.” he begins, lacing his fingers together in front of him, “a woman called the handler. she sent them to stop us.”

nodding slowly, you lean back on your hands, “soon as your friend got in the way, they were fair game.” you shrug.

“well, now they’re my fair game.” diego speaks lowly, “and they’re gonna pay.” he turns to leave, already making his way to the still open door.

five tries to stop him, explaining that it would be a mistake, which you fully agreed with due to the extensive training all the assassins went through at the commission. he didn’t listen, simply closing the door behind him.

it was silent for a moment, before luther spoke again. “former employer?” he questions, an eyebrow raising, “what's this really about? and don’t give me the ‘it’s none of your business’ crap, okay?”

“it’s a long story.”

-

the woman waved. you still couldn’t believe this. it took you all these years, and you thought you would be able to keep your sanity, yet here you were.

“who the hell are you?” you yell out, slowly walking towards her, the pistol still ready to fire if she tried something. if she was even real. which wasn’t possible. “tell me why i shouldn’t shoot!”

“i’m here to help.” she tells you simply, also walking forward with the both of you stopping a few feet away from each other. you wanted to keep enough distance in case she had some sort of melee weapon, or if she made a move, you could shoot and run. “if you shoot me, you wouldn’t hear the offer i’m about to make.”

your eyebrows furrowing in confusion, you gesture for her to continue, which she does. “i work for an organization. the commission.” she begins, taking off the shaded glasses that she wore and sticking them in the pocket of her dress. “we are tasked with the preservation of the time continuum through manipulation and removals.”

lowering the gun a bit, you purse your lips. “what the hell do you mean?”

“sometimes people make choices that alter time.” she explains in more simple terms, crossing her arms, “when that happens, we dispatch one of our agents to... eliminate the threat.”

hearing that, you’re immediately on guard again, raising the pistol in a heartbeat. she waves a hand, chuckling as she dismisses what you had thought. “no, no, you misunderstood. you’re not a target, y/n.” you don’t remember giving her your name, which worries you, but you ignore it for now. “i would like to recruit you. i’m offering you a job.”

lowering the gun, you drop it to your side, not knowing what to say for a moment. that doesn’t matter, because she does.

“we’ve had our eye on you for a while, and you have potential. survival skills, fire manipulation... we’ve even found another like you, who’s been here for just as long.”

your eyes widen at the mention of another who’s been here, and your heart leaps. “five?” if he was actually alive after all your hope was gone... you didn’t know what you would do.

“well, what a surprise, you know him.” she smiles, “it will be a happy reunion, then. but, you will have to give five years of service, after that your contract will end. you’ll be able to retire to the time and place of your choice.”

you had many questions. you could feel your heart beating out of your chest at the thought of being able to get out of this nightmare, to see five again. looking at her, you don’t even think. “i’m in.” you tell her breathlessly, and she grins at your agreement.

that was how you became one of the best assassins at the commission. a decision you weren’t sure you regretted or not.

-

“we were partners.” five tells him after explaining everything about the commission, even how the handler had found him. you didn’t bother with your story. it was practically the same. “the whole time i was trying to find out the right equation to get back. to stop the apocalypse. save everyone.”

looking up from the floor, where you had been lost in thought being brought back to those times, you clear your throat. “when he figured it out, we broke our contracts. but of course he got the equation wrong.”

rolling his eyes, five hits your arm. “so you two were hit men?” luther questions, earning a shared nod of confirmation. “well... you didn’t just kill anyone, right? you had some code?”

“no code.” five tells him, “we took out anyone who messed with the timeline.”

“what about the innocent people?”

“that was the only way we could get back here.” you mutter, your gaze fixed on the floor as you played with your fingers.

luther seemed surprised. “but that’s murder!” he contests.

“jesus, luther, grow up.” five responds, and you could tell he was starting to lose his patience with him. “we’re not kids anymore. there are no good guys and bad guys. there’s just people, living their lives.”

you purse your lips, “when the world ends, those people die.” you add on, your tone softer, “including your family.” luther looks at you, quiet and still taking in everything. you sigh softly, “time changes everything.”

-

the tapping of chalk against the walls was something you had quickly learned to tune out over the past few hours. at first, you wanted to rip your head off because of the constant sound, but staring out the window at everything outside helped take your focus off of it.

when the scribbling stopped, it was easy to notice, even if you weren’t listening in the first place. it’s a hard thing to explain. the difference between the sound of something and choosing not to hear it and the absence of that sound was just... different.

“i think i found something, delores.” five mutters to the mannequin, and you roll your eyes as you stand and move to look up at all the equations that now covered the wall.

crossing your arms over your chest, you try to make sense of everything, but it’s way too complicated for you to understand- plus it was scribbled everywhere over the wall and you weren’t sure what gave him what he needed. “sure, tell her but not me.” you grin as he turns to look at you.

“it’s a habit.” he says simply, shrugging and looking back to the blackboard the equations littered.

footsteps out in the hall catch your attention, and you turn to see luther standing in the doorway, just as confused as you by everything on the walls. “what is all this?”

you move to sit on the bed next to where five stood, sighing softly. “a probability map.” he still looks just as confused as before, and you nod, “i understand just as much as you do, buddy.”

“a probability map of what?” he questions, looking to five for the answer now. that much you hadn’t cared to ask. you figured he would explain it when he figured it out, as that was just how he was.

he continues to mark different things on the map, only taking a glance towards the large man. “of whose death could save the world. i’ve narrowed it down to four people.”

of course he had found some way to get a clue on what might stop the apocalypse. he was just that smart. “so, you’re saying one of them ends the world?” he asks, and you and five both sigh in exasperation.

“no, luther.” you lay back, looking at one of the equations by your head and trying to understand at least a little bit of it. “he’s saying their death could save the world. they probably don’t have anything to do with the actual event.”

the man breathes out an “oh.” watching for a moment, before leaning in slightly. “i’m not following.” he mumbles, and you roll your eyes.

“the slightest change in what happens can alter the outcomes in the time continuum.” you explain, glad that you understand one thing as you sit back up to look at him. “the butterfly effect, basically.”

five nods, motioning in your direction. “exactly. all i need to do is find the people with the greatest probability of impacting the timeline, wherever they may be, and, well-” he finally turns to look at him. “kill them.”

apparently finally finished with the complicated map, he gets off of the bed and places the chalk on the small table beside it, grabbing vanya’s book he had been using for notes and presumably writing the names down.

luther moves to look at the four circled, eyes squinting a bit. “milton green.” he reads off, looking to the younger- well, younger looking, “is he a terrorist or something?”

“i believe he’s a gardener.” five corrects, setting the book down once he was finished and reaching under the bed, pulling out a gun and pulling the zipper to open it up.

“wha- this is madness.” luther says, turning to look back to him, his eyes widening when he saw the gun, “where did you get that?”

he glances up at him, “dad’s room.” he picks the gun up, examining it. “similar to what i used at work. nice shoulder fit, reliable.”

“you can’t-” luther stumbles for words, surprised by what five was planning to do, “this guy, milton, he’s an innocent man!”

you groan softly as you stand up, looking up at the significantly taller man. “it’s basic math- to five, at least,” you shrug your shoulders, “his death could potentially save the lives of billions of people. he’d be dead in four days anyway. the apocalypse won’t save anyone.”

“we don’t do this kind of thing.”

“we are not doing anything, luther.” five argues, glaring at him, “i am. with y/n’s help, of course.” you smile slightly.

luther was clearly not going to back down, and you were beginning to get annoyed. he was wasting precious time. “i can’t let you kill innocent people, no matter how many people it saves.”

five shrugs, “good luck stopping me.” he turns to leave and you do the same, but luther is quick to try and do exactly that, grabbing delores and holding her out the window.

when you turn to see what he’s doing, you cringe, “not a good idea.” the gun is already pointed at him. sure, it was a bit overkill, but when it came to delores, five was ready to do anything. you still weren’t sure why, especially when you were back here and he had actual people around him. years of sanity were lost, though, so you assumed that was why he hasn’t gotten it back.

“i suggest you put her down.” you lace your fingers together, rocking on your heels slightly. you definitely didn’t want to see five blow his brother’s brains out over a mannequin.

luther doesn’t seem phased by the threat. “put the gun down.” he counters, nodding towards him, “you’re not killing anyone. don’t make me do this. it’s her or the gun.”

ultimatums. you’ve always hated them. what good was making someone choose between two things?

when five didn’t choose, luther didn’t hesitate in moving to throw the fake women, and the gun clatters to the ground as five jumped to save her. luther had moved towards the gun, quicker than you thought he could move. when he picks it up, you sigh softly. this time, five working on that map, luther stopping you two. you couldn’t get that time back.

“i can do this all day.” luther states, and you roll your eyes as you snatch the gun from his side.

he moves to grab it back from you and you glare at him, “don’t even try it. unlike your brother, i won’t hesitate to shoot you.” you take a few steps towards the bed, putting the gun back in it’s case after unloading it.

five was having a weird, tender moment with delores. honestly, you felt like you shouldn’t have been in the room to see it. “i know you’re still a good person, five.” luther tells him, while you zip the case back up. “you wouldn’t have come back here to save us all if you weren’t.”

you hated him, but the monkey man had a point. of course five didn’t care about the whole world. he just cared about his family. who wouldn’t want to save the people they grew up with?

“you’re not alone. we can help you.” well, that kind of hurt your feelings. it was as if you didn’t exist to him.

five sighs, looking back towards him. “there is one way.” you whipped your head towards him, slightly surprised. what was he thinking? “it’s close to impossible, though.”

“more impossible than what brought you two back here?” he raised an eyebrow, and you looked down at the plain covers on the bed, tapping your fingers against the fabric for a moment as you thought.

maybe it would work.

-

the car rolled to a stop on the old, empty road. you sat in the back, in the middle of the seat, leaning forward with your elbows resting on your knees. your foot tapped against the floor, almost without you realizing it. you were paranoid. this could get the both of you killed, if it all went south. you just had to hope that it didn’t

“i never enjoyed it.” five states, causing both you and luther to look at him in confusion. the whole ride had been silent, which you found incredibly uncomfortable, but maybe it was just the anxiety. “the killing,” he explains at your confusion, “i was good at my job, took pride in it. but it never gave me pleasure.”

pursing your lips, you look to your foot, which continued it’s tapping. “it would take a freak to enjoy that job.” you mutter, shaking your head and sighing softly, “i’m sure some of them did, though.”

five nods slightly, glancing back at you for a moment, “i think it was all those years alone.” he theorizes, “solitude can do weird things to the mind.”

tell that to delores.

luther hums slightly, “yeah, well you were gone for a long time. i was only on the moon for four years, but that was more than enough.” you never would have thought you would actually have something in common with the monkey man. sure, your experience was much worse, but he knew what you felt all those years ago. “it’s the being alone that gets you.”

there’s a moment of silence, before luther speaks again. “well, do you think they’ll buy it?” soft moment over, apparently, as he pats the case that sat between them. it was close enough in resemblance to the commission cases, so you assumed from far away, it would be believable.

“well, they’re desperate.” five tells him, and you nod, though they don’t see it since neither of them were looking towards you.

“losing that case is like a cop losing his gun.” you tell him, sitting up slightly, “the commission finds out, they’re in deep shit. plus they’ll be stuck here without it.” you shrug.

luther pulls the case to his side, “i should hold it. in case they try to make a move on you.”

five hesitantly nods, “okay, but be careful.” he tells him, “i’ve lived a long life. you’re still a young man, you have your whole life ahead of you. don’t waste it.”

you can’t help the short laugh from what he said. seeing who looked to be a thirteen year old boy tell a man in his late twenties, maybe, you weren’t totally sure, to not waste his life. it was hilarious.

his eyebrows furrowed together, five looks back at you. “what are you laughing at?”

a grin on your face, you shake your head, still giggling a bit. “nothing. just so wise beyond your years, five.” you laugh even more as he rolls his eyes, leaning back into the seat as you calm yourself.

once you had gathered yourself, you noticed the car that was coming towards where you guys had parked along the side of the road, and you sighed softly. fun time is over, now to get back to business.

you all got out of the car as they drove past and parked a little ways away. the wind blew your hair into your face and you quickly pushed it away, scrunching your nose up as you watched them get out of the car, their masks on.

“if this all goes sideways,” five turns to tell luther, also catching your attention, “tell delores i’m sorry.”

rolling your eyes, you slap his arm, “c’mon, mannequin lover. nothing will happen. hopefully.” you shrug, sticking your hands in your pockets and quickly moving to meet the other two half way, him quickly following behind you.

as you got closer, five motioned to the masks covering their faces. “are those really necessary?” he asks, and without saying a word, they both take them off, throwing them to the side. if you didn’t have to make a deal with them, you would shove a piece of glass in their leg, show them how it feels. but no, right now you have to play nice.

“where’s the case?” cha cha asks, getting straight to the business.

sighing, you shake your head. “that’s how you’re gonna start?” you raise an eyebrow, glancing back to where luther stood, “you know, we can leave, get back in the car and drive off.”

the woman is quick to pull out a gun, and you roll your eyes. these recruits, always so quick to resort to violence. “you won’t even get halfway.” she threatens, and you simply roll your eyes.

“maybe. but as i’m sure you already found out,” five speaks, his eyebrows raising slightly, “my brother is not your average giant.”

hazel leans to the side slightly towards her, “he’s right. dropped a chandelier on him, got right back up.” your lips press together at the mention. you definitely did not get right back up. well- you did, but you were actually injured, unlike the larger man.

“he’ll smash your precious briefcase before you can even take him out.” you imitate an explosion with your hands, quietly making the sound that would accompany it. they didn’t seem as amused as you were.

“probably us too, right?” hazel speaks again, motioning with the gun he held, “so how do we help each other out here?”

of course, five was ready to tell them what you two needed. “get in contact with your superior. we need to have a chat, face to face.”

cha cha looks slightly confused by the demand, tilting her head to the side for a moment, “about what?”

“what does it matter to you?” you raise an eyebrow, “you need the briefcase, so just do it.”

she purses her lips but sighs, shaking her head. “just don’t tell her about it.”

five shrugs, “fair enough.”

finally putting the gun she had pointed at the two of you down, the woman turned around, walking over to an old pay phone along the side of the road near where they parked. hazel followed, but didn’t turn his back on the two of you, and you did the same as you followed five’s footsteps.

when you got back to the car, you stood next to five, who leaned against the hood of the car. luther moved to stand next to the two of you. “what happens now?” he questions, all of your gazes trained on the commission workers who stood by their own car after getting in contact with the boss.

“now, we wait.” five tells him, one of his hands stuck in his pocket.

it felt like hours that you stood there, just having a staring contest with the two contracted to presumably kill you both. it was really only a few minutes, and the silence that hung in the air was broken by the sound of a light melody playing in the distant, and all of you finally looked away from each other to look for the source.

having to squint slightly, you saw an ice cream truck in the distance, slowly making it’s way towards you. why the hell would an ice cream truck be in the middle of nowhere? you knew it wasn’t the handler, so you didn’t know what or who it could be.

when it got closer, you saw klaus at the wheel, a grin on his face as he waved at all of you. you managed to catch a glimpse of diego in the seat next to him, and your confusion only grew.

“what the fuck? why are they here?” you ask, watching as the truck sped up a bit, “how did they even find out where we are?”

before you can get an answer, the two assassins had already lifted their guns and started shooting. eyes widening, you swung the car door open, as it was the closest and first thing you thought of, jumping behind it to avoid the bullets. a sharp pain shot up your leg and you hissed slightly, but ignored it.

after only a second of the shots ringing out, everything went silent. you had your knees to your chest, head tucked between them and your arms, and you were totally confused from the sudden pause.

“shit.” you muttered to yourself, not wanting to lift your head and see what had happened, “did i die? am i fucking dead right now?” you weren’t ready for death yet. you thought you were, but you are certainly not.

your cycle of thoughts was interrupted when you felt someone yank at your arm, and you jumped slightly, finally lifting your head from it’s place. you sigh in relief when it’s five, “you’re not dead.” he deadpans, and you roll your eyes as you grab his hand to pull yourself up, wincing at the burning of your thigh.

once you were up, you turned to face the music and see what the hell had happened. your eyebrows furrowed when you saw that everything was... frozen.

slowly walking by five’s side towards the two adults stuck in the air, you glance at him for a moment. “are you sure?” you mumble, before another voice cuts in.

“neat trick, right?” you both turn and your shoulders slump as you see the same woman from all those years ago, when she felt like a savior, taking you out of the apocalypse. as the two of you take a few steps towards her, she takes the glasses she wore off, holding them in her hand and having that same, awful smile on her face.

“hello, five. y/n.” she motions to your thirteen year old selves, “you two look good. all things considered.”

sighing silently to yourself, you decide you’ll let five do the talking for a bit. “it’s good to see you again.” he speaks, and you look to the road as you scrunch your nose up. it definitely is not.

“feels like just yesterday i met the two of you.” she hums, and you roll your eyes to yourself, “of course, you guys were a bit older then. congratulations, by the way,” she points to you guys, circling her finger a bit, “on the age regression. clever of you. threw us off.”

you snort, “if only he had done that on purpose.” you grin, sticking your hands in your pockets as you glance to the boy, who was clearly annoyed with you. “he got the equations wrong, if you can even believe that.”

“i just miscalculated the time dilation projections.” he shakes his head, “not like you could have done any better.” you shrug your shoulders, not having an argument for that. he was absolutely right on that front, because you sure as hell didn’t understand a single thing he ever did with all the crazy equations and probability maps and everything like that.

the handler waves her hands to the side, “you realize your efforts are futile.” she states, putting her hands behind her back, “so why don’t you tell me what you really want.”

“put a stop to it.” you say almost immediately, lacing your fingers together, “the apocalypse.”

she shakes her head slightly, “you realize what you’re asking is next to impossible, even for me.” her eyebrows raise as she speaks, “what’s meant to be, is meant to be. that’s our raison d'être.”

five lifts the hand gun he had been keeping close, his expression showing no emotion whatsoever. “how about survival as a raison?” he raises his eyebrows in a mocking way, the smallest smirk tugging at his lips.

she isn’t threatened by it, dismissing it. “i’ll just be replaced. i’m but a small cog in a machine.” she twirls her finger, “this fantasy about summoning your family, five, to stop the apocalypse,” she starts to step closer, and you stiffen slightly, “it’s just that. a fantasy.”

the handler manages to make you so angry without even genuinely insulting or seeming rude in any way. she says everything in such a light voice that you would expect to be saying anything that’s only kind, but she said the opposite. small jabs at you two without outright calling you out.

“i must say, though,” she continues after a moment, continuing her slow steps, “we’re all quite impressed. your initiative, stick-to-itiveness... really something.” she smiles slightly, “which is why we want to offer the both of you new positions back at the commission. management positions.”

five is just as muddled as you are by the offer. there must be some ulterior motive to this. “sorry, what was that?” he raises an eyebrow, letting out a small, breathy laugh.

she straightens slightly, “come back to work for us. it’s where you belong, we both know it.”

“didn’t work out too well last time.” you assert, tilting your head as you raise your eyebrows. you weren’t about to agree to something like that. unless five seemed to have some idea about it being a good idea, you wouldn’t do it. not in a million years.

the woman seems set on getting you back, though. “but you wouldn’t be in the corrections department anymore.” she explains, expressing with her hand, “i’m talking, the home office. best health and pension, and an end to all this travel. you two are distinguished professionals in,” she looks the both of you up and down, “school uniforms.” she chuckles.

finally being only a few feet away, she pushes the gun five held down. “we have the technology to reverse this process.” she tries to convince, “you can’t be happy like that.”

five’s jaw is slightly clenched as he stares right into her eyes. “we’re not looking for happy.”

her smile is soft, but you feel like she’s trying to deceive you- she always gave off that vibe, though. “we’re all looking for happy.” she looks between you two, “we can make that happen. you guys can be yourselves again.”

five lets out a short breath, finally fully putting the gun down, “and what about my family?” he questions, gesturing around to his siblings who were still frozen in their place.

“what about them?”

you can’t help but glare at her, “you know what. he wants them to survive.”

she takes a deep breath in, looking over to luther, his arms raised in the air with the fake briefcase in hand, before to the ice cream truck, where klaus sat in front of the wheel, his eyes wide, and diego looked to be in pain or as if he was cursing for some reason. she finally looks back to five. “all of them?” she questions, and you hold back another eye roll.

“yes, all of them.” five tells her, stating the obvious.

she nods, starting to put the sunglasses back on, “well, i’ll see what i can do.” she then holds her hand out, an eyebrow raising from behind the shaded lenses, “do we have a deal?”

the boy grabs your hand, ready to accept, but before he can, you glance to the side. “wait.” you hold a finger up, pulling away and walking towards the two corrections recruits. they both watch as you grab the gun that hazel had dropped when the truck had hit them, pulling the magazine out of it and throwing it as hard as you can to the side, before doing the same with the now unloaded pistol to the opposite side.

as you start to head back, five notices the bullet that had been frozen as well, heading in luther’s direction. silently, he walks towards it and moves it so it wouldn’t actually hit him.

you two meet back in front of the handler, hands already reaching for each other as you take a deep breath to prepare yourself for what would happen.

the next moment, you’re all gone, time continuing on it’s own.

-

taglists

main: @horrorklaus​

tua: @rasberrymay​

five: @anapocalypseinmymind @five-hargreeves-official​ @insatiable-ivy​ @coffee-e-addict​  @xplrreylo

let's save the world @aspiringwriter1 @thetrashypanda423 @lilacs-lavender​ @academy-umbrella  @xplrreylo @ohmyitsfaith @onedollarduck​ @sleepygal124​ @fandomfreakff​

if you’d like to be added to any taglists, just ask!

[writing-yj]

Nightwing x Reader: Mockingbird’s Betrayal (Part Four)

Summary: Dick Grayson and Mockingbird’s last meeting ended in a heated argument, seemingly snapping every connection they ever had. He was Mockingbird’s last light to cling onto, but now, her sanity is left in the dark. After capturing Avia, Mockingbird exposed everything the Justice League and her former team had been hiding from the rookie. It almost instantly turned Avia against them, and the plan was set in motion. Nightwing isn’t prepared to face Mockingbird again, especially not after their last encounter. How much did she change since then? 

Word Count: 3156

Warnings: Angst (duh), swearing, fighting, i think some blood mention? But no one dies; I would have killed someone this time, but I wanted to get this out ASAP for y’all. I’ve kept y’all waiting for too long!

A/n: Oh boy. I started this really early, but we’ll have to see if it takes months again. 

UPDATE: Lol it did, my bad

Avia stared up at her bedroom ceiling, thinking about everything that went down in the past seven days. Getting captured by you, learning that everything everyone told her was a lie, planning to turn on them like you did.

“Mockingbird is a cursed name.” Avia thought. First you, now her. Your name became hers, and your name brought betrayal.

Every movement made her wince. You knew how to cover up your tracks well; they had no idea they were being tricked. However, Avia didn’t like that you had to rough her up a bit to make it look convincing, and she especially regretted letting you break a rib.

Due to your brief observation lessons, Avia slightly noticed that Batman was keeping a very close eye on her. Avia acted just like she did before, but that was a misstep. At her age, she should be at least traumatized or have nightmares. She should be wary, have some sort of fear or should be avoiding certain things. But none of that happened. It was like you never touched her.

Batman knew this and caught onto it fast. When he wasn’t protecting Gotham, he was constantly trying to figure out your course of action. It didn’t take him long to know Avia was going to join you, but he couldn’t bring her in or detain her just yet. Batman needed to find out when and how it was going to happen, first. Thinking about it so much almost got him punched in the face while fighting criminals.

He would never admit it out loud, but you specifically always had him alert and on his toes. You always left him one step behind, with one puzzle piece missing, not knowing what was going to happen next. More often than not, it infuriated him. At any point in time, you could start attacking the citizens if you couldn’t get to any of the heroes and their “sidekicks”.

On top of that, Batman had no doubts that the reason you turned so violent and angry was because of the wild animal DNA. It changed the color of your eyes for Christ’s sake, nothing else could do that unless you became a witch when no one was looking.

Previously, Justice League members made various suggestions on how to stop you. Imprisonment wasn’t a simple task and any normal prison wouldn’t keep you in for long. Arkham, maybe, but not forever. Keeping you in suspended animation would work, but it was more difficult that it sounded.

But, no matter how permanent the solution was, Batman refused to let them kill you. He immediately shut the idea down. “No. Under no circumstances are we going to kill her.”

“Look, Batman. I don’t want to kill her either, but do you really think she’s going to stop until she’s killed multiple teens? And I have no doubt that she will, at some point, go after Black Canary,” Superman argued, “Mockingbird has already confronted and attacked the team, and even took down Superboy with Kryptonite she stole from your safe. What is stopping her from hacking into it again? What if she finds another way to hack into Mount Justice and the Watchtower? The last thing I want is for her to be dead, but what if that is the only way to stop her? We need to be prepared for the worst.”

Batman refused still, “The only conclusion I can come to as to why she is still in this state is because of her wild animal DNA. The sheer rage has clearly been preventing her body’s trances that control the DNA, judging by how the last trance she had in Mount Justice lasted for two hours. I have gotten it back under control before, and I can do it again. The formula is still in my possession.”

“How the hell are we supposed to inject her with it?” Black Canary asked urgently, “It’s not like we can just knock her out! She knows how to avoid all of us and finding her is nearly impossible.”

Before Batman could respond, Green Arrow spoke up, “Nightwing was really close with her, right?” His observation was correct. The Justice League went silent and he continued, “Maybe Mockingbird will trust him enough to give him the chance to inject her with it?”

Batman agreed; Green Arrow’s idea was sound, and Batman already knew you had visited Nightwing. How else would he have known where Avia was? And he knew the bruise Nightwing got just after you disappeared wasn’t from crime fighting. He didn’t doubt that it was from you, but he had yet to confront Nightwing about it. The real question was why you hit him.

Batman took a moment to ponder, as did the other heroes in the room. It was a plausible idea, and was better than any other plan they attempted to come up with. It would end with you not getting hurt in the process, and would stop you from harming anyone else. There was an actual chance for the plan to be executed successfully.

“That seems to be our only option.” Zatanna said with a forlorn expression. “We will need that formula as soon as possible, Batman.” Her heart was heavy for the whole meeting. You didn’t hold her as close as you did with your original friends, but you still spent a few years on the team with her. Whether you would harm her was questionable.

“This is best best we can do without casualties. We will meet again once I finish the formula.” Batman said, and the meeting was done.

The heroes dispersed soundlessly, all of them with troubled looks on their faces. Dinah, however, looked broken and she moved the slowest. Oliver stayed by her side.

“Look at what I’ve done,” Dinah whimpered, “this is my fault. Everyone was right. I shouldn’t have done this.”

“It’s not entirely your fault, pretty bird,” Oliver used the endearing petname to comfort her. “We’ll get through this. We’ll stop (Y/n) and help her be okay again.”

Dinah shook her head and tears welled up in her eyes. “You know how violent the DNA can get. Avia told us how bad it is now; I’m positive that she isn’t in control anymore,” the first sob escaped. “If we can’t help her regain control of it, someone is going to die. And it might not be her.”

Everything was ripping her apart all at once, and she all but collapsed in Oliver’s arms. They sunk to the floor as she cried and cried. She took you in as her own when you were 12, traumatized and given powers you never wanted in the first place.

You learned to embrace and love your powers under her watchful eye and guidance as her first protege, the daughter she never had. It seemed like saving you and preventing casualties was merely wishful thinking.

-

You moved your hideout back into the basement of your childhood home. You found a way to make it easier to move all of your tech back and forth, and you had a few duplicates in your other hideout in Minnesota. You observed Avia in the Cave closely, and you also caught on to her behavior. You understood why she messed up--she was only 13 and had hardly any practice--but that made things a lot harder.

You spent half of your nights holding your head in yours hands, sometimes screaming and crying at the mental torture the wild mockingbird DNA was inflicting on you. You knew what was happening, but that consciousness was held back, almost permanently. Almost. The other half of your nights were for planning, preparing, and training. You thought of tons of different obstacles and events you would need to escape, avoid, or fight. You trained until you were sore, studied battle styles until your eyes burned in need of sleep, and you allowed yourself to fall into trances that were far too brief.

Your old team had little to no hope left for you. They held on for so long, but they realized that you were more than likely too far gone to help. They could barely remember the (Y/n) (L/n) they met so long ago. Happy, determined, devoted to the team, inspiring, and a dear friend. Now you were almost completely the exact opposite. They feared you--feared for their lives if they ever came to face you in combat. Many of them were terrified to confront you.

You still didn’t know Artemis wasn’t dead, but she heard about everything. After a certain amount of time, she became numb to everything related to you. Your name fell on deaf ears, both hers and Kaldur’ahm’s. Out of everyone, surprisingly, they had the least amount of hope. They didn’t believe there was anything anyone could do to help you. The only solution they believed in was to capture you and keep you contained, even if it meant suspended animation on the moon. Yes, you were a dear friend, but an even bigger threat to everyone.

Wally was just done. If anyone had anything to say about you, he wouldn’t hear it. He wanted nothing to do with you or the situation as a whole. If Dick even so much as spoke your name, Wally would tell him to stop talking or get out. He didn’t want to hear about the Mockingbird who was broken down to an evil, ruthless individual. He wanted to remember you as the old (Y/n). He wanted to remember your smile, your shenanigans, your kindness, and the hero you used to be.

-

You stared at the monitor with gritted teeth. After hardly any time, you knew Batman noticed how Avia was acting, too. You chucked a knife across the room with a shout and a curse. The blade pierced the wall, so only the handle was visible. The time window got a hell of a lot smaller, possibly forcing Avia to make her decision sooner than you told her to. It made you angry at her, but more angry at yourself. You should have told her to act the part of a traumatized 13-year-old girl, but you forgot. You originally thought it was common sense, but you knew that wasn’t fair.

“God damn it!” You snapped at no one and started to attach gadgets and weapons to your utility belt and back. You needed to go talk to her, let her know what happened, and ask her to make her choice right then and there. You watched the cameras until you saw her go home, so that became your destination.

But you didn’t see that Arsenal followed her.

You were one with the shadows of Star City, where you spent a great majority of your time being Mockingbird--back when you were good--and when you first became a hero. Dinah and Oliver hadn’t moved in more than a decade, so you knew the address by heart.

In no time at all, you were perched on the roof; a mere few feet away from Avia’s open window. Half a second before you stepped forward, you heard another voice, not Avia’s. Arsenal.

You quirked an eyebrow and got onto your stomach to blend in with the dark roof. You tuned out all other noises and instead focused on their conversation.

“Avia, I can’t take this,” Roy sounded so conflicted. “I haven’t felt this way and I hate it, but I can’t just push you away.”

Oh.

“I-I have feelings- wait, no, I-” he couldn’t find the right words, and you felt sympathetic. You were in a similar situation not too long ago: Being in love with someone you might betray.

Avia shushed him. “Roy...”

He sighed. “I know you don’t feel the same way, I don’t know why I even said it-”

“Shut your mouth and let me talk, redhead!” Avia got his attention and he did what she said. “I have feelings for you, too,”

You cringed hardcore when you heard them kiss. You were convinced that it was an awkward kiss, but that wasn’t what you focused on.

Your eventual protege pulled away from Roy with a small and bittersweet smile. There was a sad and apologetic look in her eyes; it concerned him. She had to tell him. She had to tell Roy about you and what she was going to do--what her reason was for leaving.

“Avia, what’s wrong?” Roy asked, completely out of character. “Did you change your mind? Am I not good enough?”

She looked even more sad after his questions. “No. You’re more than good enough, and I haven’t changed my mind... But you’ll change yours.”

Your eyes narrowed on something you saw in the distance. Way in the distance. You touched an almost invisible button on the side of your mask and used it to zoom in drastically. After many attempts, you focused on the approaching figure. Then you almost broke your mask.

Batman. And he was headed your way. He had a gut feeling that it was going to happen that night, and he was correct.

“Why would I change my mind?”

“Because I’m leaving!” Avia had to get it out before it was too late. “Everyone lied to me! Mockingbird didn’t leave for power!” She turned away from him and punched the drywall, her fist going straight through it. “She told me everything. She has proof, she uncovered all of their lies! I can’t be with the people I was supposed to trust!” Avia clenched her jaw as guilt started to choke her. “Mockingbird understands me and what I feel. She was treated like shit and lied to, too.”

It took a moment, but then Roy understood what she said. He took a step back in disbelief and his heart shattered. “You mean you’re betraying us?” Roy wanted to wake up from that nightmare. “You’re going with Mock-”

You chose that moment to swing into the window and you landed on your feet with a loud bang, not bothering with subtlety. “Is she going with Mockingbird? Yes, she is,” you stood to your full height with a face of stone. You looked menacing and it scared Roy, not that he would ever admit it. “because you all lied about me. Do you regret it yet?”

“I’m sorry, Roy,” Avia’s heart was hurting terribly. “I’m so sorry.”

You heard the woosh of a cape and your irritation spiked. “We need to go!”

Batman came through the same window you did, ready to fight. he wasted no time in going after you, and he was ready to take on Avia as well. He knew Roy wasn’t going to be able to do it because of how strong his feelings were for her.

You dodged one of Batman’s punches and you hissed, “Avia! Knock him out, now!” You hoped your sheer fury behind it would prompt her to get her ass moving, and it did.

Batman was barely landing any hits; the team wasn’t the only ones you studied. While he had more experience and more fighting tactics, there was hardly a move you missed. However, you weren’t perfect. The occasional punch to the jaw left you a little disoriented and getting punched in the stomach tended to knock the wind out of you.

You then elbowed Batman’s face and then kicked him square in the chest. It briefly knocked him off balance, giving you time to choose a voice--someone close to him. Alfred.

Before talking, you looked back at Avia and Roy. Sure enough, Roy was out cold, but Avia was sitting against the wall, completely distraught, but understandably so. You were definitely going to discuss that with her later on.

Batman wound up to deliver a brutal hit, but he froze when you shouted, “Bruce, no! Please don’t do this, this isn’t you!” in Alfred’s voice. Bruce knew full well that it wasn’t actually Alfred, and that it was actually you manipulating him, but you still got to him. Alfred practically raised him and had been by his side for everything. Just the thought of hurting him-

That moment of hesitation was what gave you and Avia the chance to get out of there, leaving two unconscious heroes on her old bedroom floor.

 -

Days passed after Dick got the news that Avia left with you. Of course you convinced her to betray the team, too. He honestly wasn’t surprised. He knew Avia was being lied to, and he didn’t want any part of it.

“Mockingbird is a cursed name.” Dick thought solemnly. Both Mockingbirds turned their backs on the team, but somewhat rightfully so. He wasn’t going to allow another hero have the name “Mockingbird” ever again, no matter who wanted it.

Dick simmered for hours and hours, angry that you took Avia, angry that she left, angry that everyone let it happen. He once again didn’t interfere, and look at where that got him. He was angry at you, Avia, the Justice League, himself, the team, and the world. No one deserved any of that to happen.

After a certain amount of time, he had enough. Dick knew you were occasionally in Bludhaven, so he was going to find you. He was too furious and hurt not to. That feeling didn’t fade as he put on his suit and his utility belt. He clenched his jaw so much that it hurt. His knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping his escrima sticks.

Dick traveled from roof to roof, trying to catch a glimpse of you somewhere. It wasn’t shocking that you were practically impossible to find; you were nowhere in sight. But Dick searched and prowled the city, turning over every stone and checking every shadowed corner. Nothing. No one.

He let out an anger-fueled roar, “Come out, Mockingbird! I know you’re there! Stop hiding and face me!” Dick probably looked like a crazed man on an acid trip, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was finding you and knocking you onto your ass.

You didn’t show.

[tesskeats]

Comfort

I’m finding some comfort in read a friend of a friends Instagram. At 2:20am in the morning because my son is teething and can’t sleep. There for I can’t sleep. 😊🤣🤷‍♀️

This girl lets call her Sara, is living the dream life, my dream life for myself.

I believe she’s about 23 years old, living in Japan and has gone to a Japanese/English university and graduated with her Bach of arts degree. She has many friends English and Japanese, picked out her graduation clothes which turned out to be traditional Japanese wear, Japanese boyfriend, and now she’s going to find a job back home in America to be closer to her family.

The regret and mistakes I’ve made in life. Here is how my life turned out after graduation of high school.

2005-2011 what is like to call the fuzzy years. I broke up with Will, my half Japanese first love of my life for a guy who I became friends with at an arcade and lived near me. Because it was easier at the time than the long distance. Boy was I severely mistaken. I would never have known that this boy... Will... I would still be trying to look for his love and him for over 10+ years in every relationship. I never should have left him. Because it started a chain reaction of events where people would hurt me and abuse me. The boy I dated instead of Will, Taylor, cheated on me. Then I started dating women again. Also cheated on me. Then I found Melissa. Short lived, short loved, but so intense at the time for me and pivotal in my sexual identity. I had never loved a woman that much.

So from Melissa to about 2011 I dated/ slept with quite a few women. Couldn’t really find the one or didn’t care to due to being so fucked up. Gained a lot of weight. During this time I went to a community college and struggled so much due to bad education from an alternative school which mentally was the best choice for me at the time. I ended up getting kicked out temporarily from that community college due to plagiarism, which I truly believed how you wrote a research paper was rewarding bits and pieces from different websites and books.. and make it fit. My freshman comp 1 teacher failed me on my last paper, and I would have passed. I had to write a letter pleading back into university. It was embarrassing but I grew from it. Back to relationships. So I never graduated from the community college but I took up to Japanese 4 mainly to speak to my boyfriend but ex at the time.... I didn’t succeed past that or want to try since we weren’t together. Another future opportunity gone. During that time I worked at a home daycare. So I had decided I wanted to be a massage therapist on a cruise. So I jumped into massage school 2010, graduated and couldn’t find a cruise job. Gained up to 256 and went to another university for graphic design. Where was my life even going? I just kept jumping to jumping from situation not ever really thinking it through or understanding what’s going on. Still to this day my life would be much happier and simpler if I had just stayed with Will. Sigh. So I meet Ashley when I start graphic design university and she is my perfect new better Will, but a woman. And like I said perfect. 💗 I couldn’t have imagined to meet someone with a similar personality, make me laugh, perfect. But we got comfortable. And I’m not sure what happened specifically. Other than, she said at the end I never protected myself. And when we broke up, I didn’t have a fall out plan. Which seems to be a pattern in my life. Like I’m not mature or wise enough to have a back up plan or think ahead. I was heart broken when I left my perfect job in Oklahoma to move us to Colorado only to find 6 months later... she would break up with me and I’d have to restart all over again. Honestly it was the most civil and best break up you could have. Still to this day (even though we do not talk, she’s married, and I wish her the best happiness ever), best relationship I ever had. And I took it for granted and somewhere along the way messed up. Like all these awful people in my life messed up on me. And I did it to her. I carry such heavy weight on how I handled everything with her. it’s hard to let go and not over analyze every minute detail of WHAT DID I DO WRONG? Why am I not enough.

Fast forward 2015-2019. I had the worst relationship with a person I didn’t think you could have. And I was sooooooo Soooo SOOOOOOO completely beer goggles and blinded by the multiple multiple cheating. And I thought, hey if he loves me enough to have a child with me, that surpasses it all. Not with narcissistic sociopaths. They have no guilt, only shame. And shame because how everyone else views them. I have a 2 year old son. He has not seen his dad in almost 3 weeks, and he lives 5 minutes away and is unemployed like myself. It breaks my heart. He had him for 18 hours almost 3 weeks ago, and he asked me to come get him bc he kept saying momma, momma, momma. Fast forward to today. Not only does he have a new gf he cheated on me with, but one he’s known for 4 weeks, lives in Alaska, and is a stranger. He told me they’re just friends. Then it’s just the game. Then when I found I LOVE YOU TEXTS, it’s just how they talk bc or the game. And now 2.5 weeks after we break up. She’s in secret living there. I predicted this would happen, I predicted she would move in, however, I did not predict it would happen so fucking soon and he would try to HIDE IT FROM ME. Well shit is going down.

How is this my life? From a simple romance and true love with Will. To fighting for my mental sanity and son. Unemployed, single mother, living with her mom at 32.

I am truly afraid this, is going to kill me. It’s so much pressure on my organs and heart because i cannot handle the stress and pain of it all. I will give my son everything and my life for him to be with me. Taking care of him gives me such intense selfish joy, I cannot imagine my life without him. I’m filled with love, pride, and excitement to watch him grow and learn and be the boy he is becoming. When I look at his face, I see his father so clearly and part of me wants to cry and throw up, but I remind myself... if you give him all the love...teach him from right and wrong...show him how to truly care and love someone.. he won’t turn out to be his father. He won’t hurt women like his dad hurt me and so many others in his past. No in person should ever have to be in the situation I am in. The pain. The physical, mental and emotional pain. I thought I had anxiety and depression before... this is such another level.

With my anxiety and depression so heightened I’m worried I will die soon. My body and organs can’t take enough of the stress and mental damage that’s been afflicted on me. And My son will be forever with his father and new family. And even though, if I do die, l won’t be able to find out how he turns out. Which is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Because I’ll be gone. And I won’t be able to see how he lives and grows up. So I want to write a short letter to my son.

~~~

Dear Noy,

Today is April 11, 2019 2:47am. You just turned two a few weeks ago and mommy is so proud of you. You’re learning to put your shoes on, and even try to say more words! You can whisper shoes, blue, show, and even car. You can clearly say; momma, dada, mmm, bubble, baba, car, duck, meow, woof, roar,mum mum. Right now I think that’s about it. I started you on almond milk recently because you had a tummy ache for a while and you love it. You also really love mango juice and frozen pineapples. :) we recently went and had ice cream together and you got a vanilla cone and shared with mommy. Mommy loves all these fun special times and moments with you. Especially bath time. Playing in the water and singing abcs and “swimming swimming swimming in the sea that mean old shark will never catch me” and you will flop on your tummy and swim away when I sing that lol. You love bubbles and colored tablets in your bath and to splash around. When you get hurt or sad you cry for momma. And lift your arms up and say “ohhh 🥺😩😢🥺” because you want me to hold you and it’s the most precious and amazing feeling ever. It makes mommy’s heart and head and everything so happy and loved and wanted. You’re my angel and my true version of happiness and fullfillment. I’m so honored and lucky to have you in my life Noy. You’re such a good boy. Mommy loves you! So so much! 💗💋 I hope that someday I can read you this letter and tell you how much you’ve changed and grown into a young man. See you go to elementary school and high school graduation. But baby if I don’t, and I for some reason leave you too soon. It doesn’t mean I didn’t do anything and everything in my power to love and provide the very best for you. I am not a perfect person, but I know I love you. So be strong, remember all these little memories I shared with you. And remember to treat everyone with kindness, do not hurt a lady because it can truly hurt her forever like it has with mommy, and plan for your dreams. You can do anything you want. Don’t settle. And love your family with all your heart. I love you Noy. XOXOXOX, Mommy

It’s officially 3am and I have to get up at 7am to do some things. 2pm is when everything is getting into motion. And going down. Please universe spare me the drama and heart ache. Let this be easy and smooth. Let me handle things with grace. Let me live and not die.

[rhondawoody]

This post is probably going to interest more women then men. You see, I’m 5"11 and have always been athletic. I loved running, biking and hiking. As a mom, I always kept my kids on the go. As a family we would have field days where we played games and I would drag them kicking and screaming and then of course they would go on about how much fun they had. Many of you may find this post shallow and superficial but my goal is to always be as transparent and honest as possible. When I first got diagnosed with TM in the fall of 2015 I wasn’t scared. Even though I was paralized from the waist down, I knew I would walk again and I would be healed and overcome this. My husband Ben of all people will vouch for this. Being paralized wasn’t an option. What I wasn’t prepared for was the journey my body would go through in order to walk again. From the fall 2015 to now (Feb 1st 2017) my body had been through pure torture. Medications, side effects, withdrawals, relapse, inflammation, weight gain, spams, and I could keep going on forever. Finally one day around the fall of 2016 (a year after starting this fight) I looked in the mirror and no longer recognized my own body. I had always been tall, lean, athletic and disciplined. As I looked in the mirror I saw a figure that looked 6 months pregnant due to intestinal inflammation, swollen and puffy from medications, dark circles around my eyes from exhaustion (because pain interrupts sleep), thinned eye brows…eye lashes…and hair due to medications, and even my figure nails were thin and frail. I was the same funny, outgoing, fighter on the inside but on the outside, something very different had taken place. The best way to describe it would be if you had brown hair and brown eyes and weighed 130lbs when you went to sleep. The next morning you wake up and find yourself with blonde hair, blue eyes and 250lbs. You are the same person in the shell but boy oh boy, your shell changed. My faith, physical excercise, and a balanced life style has always been my life. I’ve never known anything but that. Now, all of a sudden the rules have changed dramatically and no matter how much I prayed, my shell (body) wasn’t responding the way I wanted it to. Before, canoeing and going for a run was a good day. Now, if I was able to dress myself and walk that day, it was a good day. As people around me talked about how grateful I should be because I was walking, shallow and embarrassed, I didn’t feel grateful. You see, I expected to walk. Not walking wasn’t an option for me. What I didn’t expect was coming home from the hospital to someone else’s dressing closet. Who was this woman who had tailored business suits and work out gear? The woman who looked back at me in the mirror was always wearing bohemian dresses and pants now because they didn’t put pressure on her spine. The woman who owned this closet had an amazing collection of heels, accessories and purses. The woman who stood in this closet felt intimidated because all of these beautiful things were no longer apart of my world (for the time being). After crying and grieving the loss of the exterior part of my identity, I began the adventure of the fashion world while fighting TM. Anyone who has a loved someone fighting cancer, leukemia or TM can tell you that hope, confidence and humor are some of the staples of making it through (with your sanity intact). I’ve come to realize there are stages to the process. #1. You’re heartbroken because you liked who you were and your closet that came with it. After all, for many of us women, we have wonderful memories that come with our clothing and accessories. Then I moved on to level #2. Upset that no one told me from the beginning that my physical identity would be taken away. Of course my spiritual identity was growing stronger but at no point no one told me that my favorite pair of jeans and T-shirt should just go ahead and be donated. Then I moved on to #3. What could be salvaged? Instead of being the woman who cried in the dressing room because I refused to except my new swollen waist line, I decided to shop for new pieces of clothing and use as many accessories as I had. I know many of you reading this may be thinking, “well duh” but for an emotional woman who is adjusting to a new life style and a new body shape, this phase is not as simple as it sounds. So now I was at the stage of recreating my own style again. It’s just this time, my outfits would be more spine friendly. And then there is finally level #4. You make peace with the fact that your exterior shell has changed and instead of comparing yourself to who you use to be, embrace who God has allowed you to become for the season you are in. No, you probably won’t stay this way. Yes, you will have hard days. Yes, there will be days where you see a picture of who you use to be on the outside but keep telling yourself that you are on a journey. A journey that has phases. Phases of set backs and phases of moving forward. So instead of avoiding selfies and dodging family photos, I made a choice that in this phase of my journey I will embrace who God has allowed me to be. Swollen, puffy, dark eyes, fevers and all. Thankfully as a woman, we have all kinds of products to work with now days lol. Growing and learning as you face life doesn’t make you shallow but sinking into depression because you feel as if you’ve lost your physical identity is dangerous. Maybe you’re reading this and you just had a baby? Maybe you’re the spouse of someone who is facing this topic? Maybe you just got a medical diagnosis and you have no idea what to expect? I want to leave you with a few thoughts. 1. No matter where you’re at in your life, God is with you. You may not feel it but he hears your prayers and he’s there. 2. Life is always changing and it’s okay to admit sometimes that you’re not a fan of all the dips and circles that come with it. 3. Don’t compare who you are today to who you were last year. Mentally, spiritually or physically. Embrace who you are today. Flaws and all. (I know this seems a little, “well duh” but we all need to be reminded.) 4. It’s okay to recreate who you are. If your facing a situation where you feel like life is making changes for you, start taking control back. Even if it’s just buying a new shade of red lipstick and the awesome earings. Confidence is beautiful! 5. You’re not alone. No matter what phase you are going through in life, there are others going through similar situations. They may not be openly talking about it but they are there. 6.Last but not least, every chance you get compliment yourself and those around you. Choose to use your words to empower and build yourself and others up. So your eyeliner looks like a raccoon today, so what. Compliment the girl at the check out line on her earings. You never know how bad she needs a kind word. Thankfully I have 2 teenage daughters and a thoughtful husband who support me, love me and they tell me when I’m sporting something that doesn’t make the cut. Lol They are also there to encourage me, compliment me and cheer me on too.

[jnx-xny]

I love how people are freaking out and anxious after being on lockdown for a week. I’ve been on “lockdown” for 2 years now ever since the end of High School cuz all my college classes are online. Rarely got out of the house for weeks on end. Has it changed me as a person? Yes. For the better? Lol I think it’s made me a little psychotic, but who isn’t a little psychotic right? 😂 The thing is... when I used to have random mental breakdowns, my parents nor I had no clue why I was acting like that. Ended up seeing a doctor for it and they said I needed to get out more. Simple solution, right? Well this occured 4 months into my first semester. Looked into joining outside activities and ended up volunteering at the hospital. Once there, it worsened because fun fact, 4 months of little to zero social contact will leave you feeling like you’re mute and can’t express yourself. Soooo yeah that was a nightmare too in a way. I kept jumbling my words when I spoke and so the other peeps would not speak to me because I was that weird kid. It did get better half a year through because I started doing observations and that was fun. Also, 6 months after being exposed back into society, you’re normal-ish again. After my first year, I decided to take one of my classes live (ok it was mandatory) and now I feel like I’m human again. I’m still that kid who won’t speak unless spoken to but I think that’s just me being awkward cuz of all the married ladies and mom’s in the class (and obvi when they start conversing I cant relate cuz im a 21 year old weirdo who’s just slowly getting reinstated back into society). I’ve gotten way off topic at this point but all I want to say is... things really do happen for a reason🤔 I feel like the past 2 years I’ve been complaining cuz I chose a degree that’s solely online and it was actually a good thing. Who knew that 2020 everyone will be doing all their shit online. I’m used to it now. Even the boredom of not knowing what to do is like normal for me. People out here adjusting to this and freaking out. I just feel bad cuz yall are doing this cuz you cant go outside at all. I at least had that choice and was able to maintain sanity. Good luck to all of us I guess ✊🏻

[tpaigeme]

just photos w original music

Dear Democratic Party.

I have a confession to make. The other day I slipped up and prayed.

Should I make a video confessing to my sin? In front of CNN? And the nation? And promise to never do it again? Should I resign in disgrace? An embarrassed look on my face?

I am guilty of party line violation caught in the act..of prayer and supplication to God.

Only you can save us oh great Democratic Party hacks —- the Saviors and Messiahs of our souls and our nation.  

I will meditate on you on a daily basis. Upon my little yoga mat I cross my legs and repeat the phrases, “cross my heart hope to die”,  forgive me for I

have sinned. How can I make amends?

Shame on me!  what kind of proper Luciferian prays, “our Father who art in heaven? Hallowed be thy name? Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven? Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us? And lead us not into temptation but, (and here’s the kicker), “deliver us from evil.”

Oops I said it again,  “deliver us from evil.”  

I guess that’s it for me and the Democratic Party. Think of the perks I will lose. But, the Lord I do happily choose, renouncing Satan. Only God can save our nation.

If they had taken one tinth of that energy and focused it half as much to saving mountains and streams...the land, as they do to an idea that is so wispy and unclear, “it depends on what is is”...we would still have mountains in WV.  

They destroyed your LAND people!! You were comfortable on your couch watching CNN. Your heart went out to a phenomenon a passing fancy the flavor of the month.  Were the mountains too white for you?  They were raping your mother “to keep the lights on” by destroying the fundamental physical composition of America...Dirt. And ripping it out from under you in front of your televised eyes.

But what threw you into overdrive, What woke you up and ripped the golden pacifier from your mouth ... wasn’t the destruction of the land, the beautiful forests streams and woodlands, it was your own private ultra specific war ... and you exploded! Over a freckle on a sub atomic particle’s ass! An undefinable utopian fantasy that defied sensory perception to all but the most mindful of and vexed by  the anonymity of human existence, the absence of cuddling, by your mommy and daddy who refused to adequately fuss over you who didn’t feel inspired to recognize the 6 year old genius wunderkind goddesses of the universe.  That’s right. you have waged war for 30 years for your right to rule in your happy little universe.  Correct utopian fantasy must be not just worshipped and adored but done so correctly.

That’s what  got you going, spinning sideways out of control ike a top that had run out of petro. Like a drunken Mexican on the streets of Arrested Development.

That’s right. Stop ignoring me or I become a raving mindful lunatic on a yoga mat with a bottle of spring water by my side.

****

Because....you’re sane and they’re not.  

For the first time in my life I feel like I am the voice of reason and sanity and moderation . Lol.  That should give you an indication  of how crazy they are. Theyve out crazied T Paige.    It’s a great time a great day a great time for all the unhinged, unglued mentally unstable nut jobs to come out of the woodwork. They have a platform! The worm has turned. For years 50 years at least detente was a good thing! Now the Sore Loser  in Chief, Hillary Clinton and her chieftains are outraged, they need someone to blame for their loss, to save face.  Why not Russia! ???   So they dig themselves in deeper and deeper. Little do they know it’s their own grave.

How does it feel James to be the sanest voice in the room? Kind a cool ain’t it?  God works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform!

Trumps approval  rating for July is higher than RR Jimmy Carter and tied w Bill Clinton.

The massive mainstream kgb style propaganda media, crooks, elite, and Facebook are, simply put, on the wrong side, behind the curve.  Congrats James.  Pat yourself on the back. Well deserved.

It’s very simple really. It’s all about practicality. If your ideas are so impractical as to beggar description, If you get inflamed and emotionally overwrought with other people’s responses negative impressions of your “solution”, step out of the echo chamber and into the light of reason. It is time for you to question.  Ask a simple question: what is this shit? Or just do nothing. The pressure to conform should be balanced by reason.

old tyme rockin gospel blues to make your drive more 'interesting' without taking your eyes off the road. or not. the visual is quite interesting too.  I may have stumbled on inter-dimensional photography...see if you can find the creatuers that inhabits these one of a kind photographs by t. paige.

Aug 24 and 25

Here is Jim- al X. Zones telling his side of the story. Oops sorry not available.  It’s been deleted since last night when I watched it.  It’s been removed from my YouTube history.

Go ahead try it.  Remember the Dixie chicks? How they were banned? This is no different. Madonna  says she wants to s*** Moamar khadaffi and f*** the guy in the Vanilla H *** but no  repercussions. Sorry Virgin Mary but Hillary blew him first.

It’s coming. Chinese style censorship.  I’m w the ACLU on this one folks. Unpopular opinions should not be banned any more than the library should ban  Catcher in the Rye.  Say goodbye to another freedom as we approach The NannyState.  Men have lost their cojones.  

Notice: You cannot NOT care. You must care.  For this thing right here. Not caring for this thing is not allowed.  You must care about women, minorities, etc because we say so. We don’t care but we’re hypocrites. That’s the difference. We’re all sociopaths. So that’s just how it works because...WE HAVE MORE MONEY AND we are IMPORTANT.  You, not so much. So you see it’s not really hypocrisy.  

ALSO, you are not allowed to care about your self you selfish Nazi racist bastard.

https://youtu.be/PtfAl6I4SM0

This might get me into trouble.

I posted Pray For our Country and got some anti trumpies comments.  They said  I’ll pray for that man in the WH.  Like he’s the only problem is the only one that we needs to pray about.

It’s starting to really piss me off.  Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.  

Is there another reason to pray?  Is it because bombs are being dropped?  Is it because Obama decided we no longer have to declare war to drop bombs on people? Just pick a country. That we can bomb people anywhere anytime we want?  

Or is it because someone offended you?  Did it offend you when a convicted pedophile got a standing ovation from most of Hollywood including Meryl Streep at the Academy Awards? Or that madonna said she wanted to blow the White House up?   ( remember the Dixie Chicks! )

Or that Hillary Clinton got a child trafficer off the hook? When she kidnapped 30 children in Haiti? Or that this woman now is working for Amber alert? Under a different name? Is it because Muslim grooming gangs in England kept young girls around for sexual purposes for decades?  Is it because refugees from starving Africa are storming the beaches of Spain?  And roaming the streets of Italy with hatchets and machetes? Is it because there are approximately 1000 no go zones throughout Europe? Where the police do not dare go near?   Is it because there are towns in England that have been Muslimized, the churches and the pubs shut down. Is it because the plan under Hillary was to do the same here?

Is it because the real problem here is hypocrisy and fuzzy think.  Right and wrong no longer matter and is no longer discernible or desired by MSM brainwashed people.  Just don’t offend me ... my delicate feelings are all that matters... none of the above matters. But if you go off script, say something that offends me... ohmy! look out! I am on the warpath and I am marching on Washington!  

The problem here is,  “you awake?” is no longer the punch line of a joke about redneck foreplay.

I’m trying to add it all up.  I think I’m making progress:

What happened was nothing compared to what happens later. A descent.

But initially what happened? Each group made their point. Peacefully. Nothing happened. The fact that this had a good outcome, the three opposing groups had their say each in their moment and no one got hurt.

What happens a bit later, media types begin shaming....Your group is to blame. Blame blame blame.  

CNN set it up and dutifully the chorus chimed in. On cue just as we have come to expect.

There is something about creating impossible standards for people that sets them up for control. It’s a means of control and repression common among very manipulative types. (Sociopaths)

The real hurt came later. The attacks began. Now it’s a serious thing we are talking about.

Maligning to a certain extent one group or another.

Perhaps there is something to be gained from all of this. Certainly each group has something to say a point to make.

We see what is unreasonable, counterproductive. To some extent in it’s virulence, and unnecessary.

State your point, without bashing the rest of the world. Behave yourself online. Don’t make stupid comments. Don’t make hurtful comments. Don’t attack. Don’t vilify. Because that’s not what happened in the first place.

Through this lens ljust look at what happened. The boys do the school cheer. The blacks made their points however crude. The Native Americans intervene ostensibly prayerfully to create harmony. Good deal. The smirking white boy, an underage teen, was praying all the time for a peaceful resolution.  An end to the confusion. Admirable.

And guess what, prayers were answered.

Let’s be thankful for that.

Let these antagonistic voices reflect on their own motives, meanspiritedness, within their own souls and consciousness. Is what I am doing ugly, one sided and unfair? “I went off without hearing the whole story. And it devolved into a diatribe. For that I apologize. I got it wrong.”  

Later the Native Americans went to a church. During mass. They were not allowed to go in for fear that they would disrupt the services.

What if someone had come out and said you’re welcome to come in if you are quiet and respectful. Or you can wait and we will have a representative out here to listen to what you have to say.

Can you imagine ... Native Americans and Catholics outside on the steps harmoniously joining together in prayer?

Both sides believe in praying do they not?

Each side attaches solemnity to the act of praying. Then what is to prevent them from praying together?

That moment has passed but another moment is possible. We have had time to reflect, to process and come to a meeting of the minds.

The Pueblo Indians have a legend that some mysterious personage visited the tribe and told them of things to come.  

Thanks for listening.

Rainbows 🌈 and unicorns 🦄 4ever.  P.

https://youtu.be/RH8pseoLmC8

**

Hey John, I’ve seen some of your Facebook posts that come in my feed checked out your page. I knew your dad.

Just remember the words to the prayer, is my best unsolicited advice.  It touches us all and everything better than anything and believe me I’ve searched my whole life. It’s a condensation and distillation of things that are spiritually meaningful to all of us. Best of all they are not my words or anybody else’s of similar human consciousness. We know they come from a higher place and beyond ourselves and they lift us up to that level. That’s my experience which I’m trying to share in this song. People share lots of things on fb, right?

I believe you are musically gifted ... I heard from your dad and others.  I don’t know if we’ve actually met but I remember there was some good buzz when you were younger.  

I’m trying to spread the word and various people come up, in my consciousness, individuals who for one reason or another I really want to share it with.  

So I just wanted to share this with you.

And hope you have a good day. Hang in there John.

TY

P.

https://youtu.be/RH8pseoLmC8

****

There’s no reason to think that by the boys not being where they were supposed to be that there was ill intent on their part ... just wandering off.

Apparently these days just about anything no matter how innocent, like wandering off makes you a bad guy. That is very wrong in my opinion. Having white skin makes me a bad guy. It’s called identity politics, but it’s more like a circular firing squad.

And it’s orchestrated by the truly guilty, the fraction of 1% that control our minds. This control is exercised mainly through the Democratic Party these days but in times past it was the Republicans.

Neoliberals have emerged in the same way that neocons emerged and like a parasite have taken over the brain and diverted it 180° opposite from it’s original purpose and identity.

How can you get the majority of peaceful people to go to war without a pearl harbor or a Gulf of Tonkin or an assassination or a 911. Can you actually create a Civil War over an issue? They can. And they work on it day and night. Rust never sleeps.  

They have all of the tools and resources. Political power, the media, money.

When Mao was losing power he used his wife to destroy a culture.  I see the Clinton’s and their backers doing basically the same thing.  Any means necessary to retain power. Even if it takes down the whole country in process.  It doesn’t matter who you sleep with. Change the laws change the religion change the family destroy the family blame the culture, blame this one and that one, it’s all justified.  

But never blame those w the big $, the ones that have no allegiance but to power and who fund your group. Through their corrupt shell game, foundation/money laundering operation.

I guess what they want more than anything else at this point is civil war. They’ve taken civil disobedience and added violence to the mix and perverted Martin Luther King Jr’s. message or dismissed it.  

But most Americans still believe it. Most Americans don’t believe in what the neo liberals are pushing.  They have seen what the neocons did to this country.  And they are not buying this divisive “movement” to further divide us, either.  

It’s been around for quite some time, three decades at least. It’s never been about uniting us. It’s never been about us. And that’s what Bernie tried  to do and did! Unite us. And look what happened to him.

The DNC has been exposed and yet they keep on going in the same direction. They are still leading the charge off this cliff. Male against female, black against white etc. And these people the majority of them are good people and couldn’t care less. So they’ve come for the children.  

Look how CNN twisted what happened and turned on these boys. Got the whole nation  up in arms against them. Now they get death threats and have been docsed.  

Can you imagine CNN calling high school kids “school shooters?”  But that’s the side CNN took.  Against kids.  These are foul, evil people at CNN. They are supposed to be journalists and they are preaching hatred against kids.

Back to the wandering off bit.  If there was a group of native Americans demonstrating or protesting or just doing something interesting wouldn’t you want to watch? Maybe you might wander off too, to see what was going on? That was the whole wish and desire of the Native Americans.  They wanted that attention. So why were the boys at fault for wanting to check it out? It was interesting. How did they know what would happen next?

But it’s so easy in this culture to pin the blame on the innocent.  And even feel good about it because you are taking up for the “poor oppressed minority.”   But not the poor, oppressed white families faltering in this climate less and less which Bernie recognized. Austerity.

It’s not good judgment, or just, to do that but that’s what happens again and again.  

This time it happened to a group of teenage Catholic boys. Who I think behaved admirably.

Who targeted them?  The minorities that everyone is so quick to embrace even if they are in the wrong. Even if they are railroading an innocent person or persons. Or a whole country.  

I will embrace them too when they realize I’m not the enemy.  I pray for them because I have more in common with them than what divides us if they only knew that we have a common enemy. As long as we are divided the problems will become worse.  Our enemies would fall in a nanosecond if we all united.  

It’s CNN’s job to make sure we don’t. That’s their real mission, and their real job. Not reporting the news. That’s what they get paid for. Hit pieces against kids. Not reporting the news. Not reporting what actually happened.  

No, this time they came after our kids.  They’ve been after them for quite some time. Along with mom and dad.  But Mom and Dad are hopefully both fully awake by now and can see what’s going on.

It’s a whole new ball game when they come for your kids.

***

If they had taken one tinth of that energy and focused it half as much to saving mountains and streams...the land, God’s creation, over which we were to be “responsible stewards” not irresponsible psychopaths...as they do to an idea that is so wispy and unclear, “it depends on what is is”...we would still have mountains in WV.

But no, Hell no. They destroyed your LAND people!!

You were comfortable on your couch watching CNN. Your heart went out to a phenomenon a passing fancy the flavor of the month.  Were the mountains too white for you?  They were raping your mother “to keep the lights on” by destroying the fundamental composition of America...Dirt. And ripping it out from under you in front of your televised eyes.

But what threw you into overdrive, What woke you up and ripped the golden pacifier from your mouth ... wasn’t the destruction of the land, the beautiful forests streams and woodlands. No, hell no.

it was your own private ultra specific war ... and you exploded! Over a freckle on a sub atomic particle’s ass! An undefinable utopian fantasy that defied sensory perception to all but the most mindful of and vexed by  the anonymity of human existence, the absence of cuddling, by your mommy and daddy who refused to adequately fuss over you who didn’t feel inspired to recognize the 6 year old genius wunderkind goddesses of the universe.  In your laziness and intellectual dishonesty, you have elevated the smallest vexation and irritation to an Absolute. Your own little fiefdom where you sit, pompous and pussy-hatted on your throne and rule with an iron fist and a divine pussy hat with a clear mandate: Maintain by illogic ucharade-save the Wispies!

That’s right. you have waged war for 30 years for your right to rule in your happy little universe utopian fantasy where you are, not just worshipped and adored but correctly, perfectly.

That’s what  got you going? Spinning like a top that had run out of gas wobbling like a drunken Mexican?

That’s right. “Stop ignoring me or I become a raving mindful lunatic on a yoga mat with a bottle of spring water by my side.”

And I am infinitely mindful of your every infinitesimally small screwup and transgression.

Damn right.

Who knows? What you’re on about. Only you.  

But it’s got you going you up off your ass out in the street raving like a fucking lunatic.

Have at it, motherfucker,  have at it. We’ve already had our way with your mother so have at it!  

****

I wouldn’t say this if it wasn’t important.

Granted there are a lot of people upset about the election. It’s apparent that the democratic party though, has gone too far w their rhetoric. All this about Civil War, impeachment, and every other extreme Kathy Griffin type of nastiness, isn’t that what it is? You tell me? What is it?

Trump’s approval numbers for July according to Gallup, are higher than LBJ, Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter and the same as Clinton. Depressing isn’t it?  But keep swimming.  Keep up the good fight. But be careful about unintended consequences.  

There are people that actually voted for Trump. It’s not a crime. They were exercising their rights. Now you want to bash them. I understand. I’ve lived through Nixon and Bush and LBJ.  Mistakes were clearly made and lives were sacrificed.  At this point we have not reached that level of atrocity. Perhaps we should all remember sticks and stones may break my bones.  

There is good evidence that LBJ had Kennedy killed. He was in on it. Lone gunman ... I don’t think so. The Warren report was fraud a massive fabrication.

I’m saying this so that you can see and acknowledge that there is a Behind the scenes network. They carried off that coup . And they carried off 911.  They got Americans to believe a lie. Aided and abetted by the mainstream media.

Do you want to know the truth? You’re not going to get it by being outraged at everything that the mainstream media reports as fact. There is a truth community it is neither Republican nor Democrat. It is both.

I don’t know why Trump won. But Hillary was part of the reason. Number one the way she treated Bernie...Number two Hillary herself.  This whole thing of winning at all costs doubling down, Russian collusion, you need to investigate how that all started. It was a campaign hatched on day one. Opposition research that went too far just like everything that Hillary does.

You have to recognize that even when you protest the other side has a right to their point of you. You have to try to meet in the middle. I was an activist for 20 years before all this happened. One of the things that most of us realized was you can’t let anger take over your life.  You can be angry but use it in a constructive way! Our model was Gandhi civil disobedience discourse.

Also you need to look at George Soros from the other side. What they really want is a police state. They want to stifle dissent.  Which is ironic. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t call people racist who simply disagree on the way to proceed. The kind of solution on immigration etc.  I don’t care if you have the pope on your side calling people out as racists for wanting to enforce immigration laws that already exist that have existed for years in every country. Why would such a radical agenda as open borders be promoted?  Is that not a dangerous idea? Just open the borders to everyone? It would be nice if we lived in that kind of world. But there are bad guys and we don’t live in that kind of world.

There is so much wrong with the liberal agenda right now. It is diametrically opposed to historical liberalism. You hurt your cause w some  of the tactics that are used to promote your cause.  

You need to break away from all of that because number one where is it coming from? Consider the source. The mainstream media which is controlled by the CIA. It is heavily regulated by the CIA. If you would do your research you would find out that Gloria Steinem worked with the CIA.  So did Nancy Pelosi. Gloria Steinem by her own account in an interview went into great detail about those days. They funded Ms. magazine. Do you think that she was the only one? Do you think that practice has stopped?

Go to Ted talks on YouTube and watch the video of the reporter who defected from the mainstream media and is now a whistleblower. It is amazing how devious they are and have become.  

Sheryl Atkinson

https://youtu.be/-bYAQ-ZZtEU

Also look up Maria Kennedy Shriver on Krista Tippet’s “On Being” talk show on NPR.   She talks about some of the mistakes that folks on the left have made. She talks about her faith. It’s a very good interview. She has written a book.

Sorry for any typos, and lack of syntax. I’m typing with my thumb on my phone. 😗

It’s interesting how Hillary and her supporters. And many politicians.  Oh hell the worm turns. Which is exactly what Hillary Clinton is, a worm.  For at least half a century detente has been seen as a good thing by most politicians and Americans. But now, when it is advantageous to the Democrats to save face, they set up a new boogie man. Guess who it is Russia!Traditionally, it has been the Democrats who were prone to not take a hard line on Russia.  But now and at election time sadly we’re supposed to pay Russians! It’s our patriotic duty to hate Russians ... and lovee the cia!!! WTF.  But Hillary says... oh is it Hillary? Oh yes it is. It’s Hillary. Hillary says, and of course she is very objective here. She just lost the election but no matter. She can still remain objective about all of this. She wouldn’t be blaming the Russians to excuse her own failure would she? That would just be too coincidental too convenient.  Take her word for it. You’re w her.  The embattled and bitter Hillary Clinton. Thats a ship I definitely don’t want to go down with.  I never was on that bandwagon. And I am not now.

From the Hills and valleys mountains rivers and streams...A place called Appahchia (pronounced AppaLATCHia)

https://youtu.be/P0725bnDyJ0

*********

Electronic voting in the US is a huge problem.

#1. Both parties have hacked voting computers.  The DNC is famous or infamous for Voter fraud.

#2. They bus people to several locations to vote.   Remember the irregularities in Arizona during the primary? These people kNo there is a pot of gold at the end of anrainbow. Do you think a little thing like fraud is going to stop them?

#3. Diebold has been kicked out of Europe.  

https://columbusfreepress.com/article/diebold-indicted-its-spectre-still-haunts-ohio-elections

https://youtu.be/NFpLKc6S_-o

https://youtu.be/jH30e7YIKeQ

https://youtu.be/BNZTJeu9ddw

https://youtu.be/u4FPuLNjvAc. Fox

https://youtu.be/MoGeDGHmwJU

https://youtu.be/OvF213popIA. Flipped

https://youtu.be/_IAJ5fAm3Cs. Investigators

https://youtu.be/ibK4de85IKw. Calling Hillary Cunton

https://youtu.be/mEp0kUzmLns. 56 Diebold machines

https://youtu.be/VNzrJWIX5Fw

https://youtu.be/cy1IlAXeV30

Ron Paul.

https://youtu.be/Cx5YyiyWOH4

Princeton Diebold Study

https://youtu.be/hDc8PVCvfKs

Steallary Clinton

I’m trying to add it all up.  I think I’m making progress:

What happened was nothing compared to what happens later. A descent.

But initially what happened? Each group made their point. Peacefully. Nothing happened. The fact that this had a good outcome, the three opposing groups had their say each in their moment and no one got hurt.

What happens a bit later, media types begin shaming....Your group is to blame. Blame blame blame.  

CNN set it up and dutifully the chorus chimed in. On cue just as we have come to expect.

There is something about creating impossible standards for people that sets them up for control. It’s a means of control and repression common among very manipulative types. (Sociopaths)

The real hurt came later. The attacks began. Now it’s a serious thing we are talking about.

Maligning to a certain extent one group or another.

Perhaps there is something to be gained from all of this. Certainly each group has something to say a point to make.

We see what is unreasonable, counterproductive. To some extent in it’s virulence, and unnecessary.

State your point, without bashing the rest of the world. Behave yourself online. Don’t make stupid comments. Don’t make hurtful comments. Don’t attack. Don’t vilify. Because that’s not what happened in the first place.

Through this lens ljust look at what happened. The boys do the school cheer. The blacks made their points however crude. The Native Americans intervene ostensibly prayerfully to create harmony. Good deal. The smirking white boy, an underage teen, was praying all the time for a peaceful resolution.  An end to the confusion. Admirable.

And guess what, prayers were answered.

Let’s be thankful for that.

Let these antagonistic voices reflect on their own motives, meanspiritedness, within their own souls and consciousness. Is what I am doing ugly, one sided and unfair? “I went off without hearing the whole story. And it devolved into a diatribe. For that I apologize. I got it wrong.”  

Later the Native Americans went to a church. During mass. They were not allowed to go in for fear that they would disrupt the services.

What if someone had come out and said you’re welcome to come in if you are quiet and respectful. Or you can wait and we will have a representative out here to listen to what you have to say.

Can you imagine ... Native Americans and Catholics outside on the steps harmoniously joining together in prayer?

Both sides believe in praying do they not?

Each side attaches solemnity to the act of praying. Then what is to prevent them from praying together?

That moment has passed but another moment is possible. We have had time to reflect, to process and come to a meeting of the minds.

The Pueblo Indians have a legend that some mysterious personage visited the tribe and told them of things to come.  

Thanks for listening.

Rainbows 🌈 and unicorns 🦄 4ever.  P.

https://youtu.be/RH8pseoLmC8

**

Hey John, I’ve seen some of your Facebook posts that come in my feed checked out your page. I knew your dad.

Just remember the words to the prayer, is my best unsolicited advice.  It touches us all and everything better than anything and believe me I’ve searched my whole life. It’s a condensation and distillation of things that are spiritually meaningful to all of us. Best of all they are not my words or anybody else’s of similar human consciousness. We know they come from a higher place and beyond ourselves and they lift us up to that level. That’s my experience which I’m trying to share in this song. People share lots of things on fb, right?

I believe you are musically gifted ... I heard from your dad and others.  I don’t know if we’ve actually met but I remember there was some good buzz when you were younger.  

I’m trying to spread the word and various people come up, in my consciousness, individuals who for one reason or another I really want to share it with.  

So I just wanted to share this with you.

And hope you have a good day. Hang in there John.

TY

P.

https://youtu.be/RH8pseoLmC8

****

There’s no reason to think that by the boys not being where they were supposed to be that there was ill intent on their part ... just wandering off.

Apparently these days just about anything no matter how innocent, like wandering off makes you a bad guy. That is very wrong in my opinion. Having white skin makes me a bad guy. It’s called identity politics, but it’s more like a circular firing squad.

And it’s orchestrated by the truly guilty, the fraction of 1% that control our minds. This control is exercised mainly through the Democratic Party these days but in times past it was the Republicans.

Neoliberals have emerged in the same way that neocons emerged and like a parasite have taken over the brain and diverted it 180° opposite from it’s original purpose and identity.

How can you get the majority of peaceful people to go to war without a pearl harbor or a Gulf of Tonkin or an assassination or a 911. Can you actually create a Civil War over an issue? They can. And they work on it day and night. Rust never sleeps.  

They have all of the tools and resources. Political power, the media, money.

When Mao was losing power he used his wife to destroy a culture.  I see the Clinton’s and their backers doing basically the same thing.  Any means necessary to retain power. Even if it takes down the whole country in process.  It doesn’t matter who you sleep with. Change the laws change the religion change the family destroy the family blame the culture, blame this one and that one, it’s all justified.  

But never blame those w the big $, the ones that have no allegiance but to power and who fund your group. Through their corrupt shell game, foundation/money laundering operation.

I guess what they want more than anything else at this point is civil war. They’ve taken civil disobedience and added violence to the mix and perverted Martin Luther King Jr’s. message or dismissed it.  

But most Americans still believe it. Most Americans don’t believe in what the neo liberals are pushing.  They have seen what the neocons did to this country.  And they are not buying this divisive “movement” to further divide us, either.  

It’s been around for quite some time, three decades at least. It’s never been about uniting us. It’s never been about us. And that’s what Bernie tried  to do and did! Unite us. And look what happened to him.

The DNC has been exposed and yet they keep on going in the same direction. They are still leading the charge off this cliff. Male against female, black against white etc. And these people the majority of them are good people and couldn’t care less. So they’ve come for the children.  

Look how CNN twisted what happened and turned on these boys. Got the whole nation  up in arms against them. Now they get death threats and have been docsed.  

Can you imagine CNN calling high school kids “school shooters?”  But that’s the side CNN took.  Against kids.  These are foul, evil people at CNN. They are supposed to be journalists and they are preaching hatred against kids.

Back to the wandering off bit.  If there was a group of native Americans demonstrating or protesting or just doing something interesting wouldn’t you want to watch? Maybe you might wander off too, to see what was going on? That was the whole wish and desire of the Native Americans.  They wanted that attention. So why were the boys at fault for wanting to check it out? It was interesting. How did they know what would happen next?

But it’s so easy in this culture to pin the blame on the innocent.  And even feel good about it because you are taking up for the “poor oppressed minority.”   But not the poor, oppressed white families faltering in this climate less and less which Bernie recognized. Austerity.

It’s not good judgment, or just, to do that but that’s what happens again and again.  

This time it happened to a group of teenage Catholic boys. Who I think behaved admirably.

Who targeted them?  The minorities that everyone is so quick to embrace even if they are in the wrong. Even if they are railroading an innocent person or persons. Or a whole country.  

I will embrace them too when they realize I’m not the enemy.  I pray for them because I have more in common with them than what divides us if they only knew that we have a common enemy. As long as we are divided the problems will become worse.  Our enemies would fall in a nanosecond if we all united.  

It’s CNN’s job to make sure we don’t. That’s their real mission, and their real job. Not reporting the news. That’s what they get paid for. Hit pieces against kids. Not reporting the news. Not reporting what actually happened.  

No, this time they came after our kids.  They’ve been after them for quite some time. Along with mom and dad.  But Mom and Dad are hopefully both fully awake by now and can see what’s going on.

It’s a whole new ball game when they come for your kids.

***

If they had taken one tinth of that energy and focused it half as much to saving mountains and streams...the land, God’s creation, over which we were to be “responsible stewards” not irresponsible psychopaths...as they do to an idea that is so wispy and unclear, “it depends on what is is”...we would still have mountains in WV.

But no, Hell no. They destroyed your LAND people!!

You were comfortable on your couch watching CNN. Your heart went out to a phenomenon a passing fancy the flavor of the month.  Were the mountains too white for you?  They were raping your mother “to keep the lights on” by destroying the fundamental composition of America...Dirt. And ripping it out from under you in front of your televised eyes.

But what threw you into overdrive, What woke you up and ripped the golden pacifier from your mouth ... wasn’t the destruction of the land, the beautiful forests streams and woodlands. No, hell no.

it was your own private ultra specific war ... and you exploded! Over a freckle on a sub atomic particle’s ass! An undefinable utopian fantasy that defied sensory perception to all but the most mindful of and vexed by  the anonymity of human existence, the absence of cuddling, by your mommy and daddy who refused to adequately fuss over you who didn’t feel inspired to recognize the 6 year old genius wunderkind goddesses of the universe.  In your laziness and intellectual dishonesty, you have elevated the smallest vexation and irritation to an Absolute. Your own little fiefdom where you sit, pompous and pussy-hatted on your throne and rule with an iron fist and a divine pussy hat with a clear mandate: Maintain by illogic ucharade-save the Wispies!

That’s right. you have waged war for 30 years for your right to rule in your happy little universe utopian fantasy where you are, not just worshipped and adored but correctly, perfectly.

That’s what  got you going? Spinning like a top that had run out of gas wobbling like a drunken Mexican?

That’s right. “Stop ignoring me or I become a raving mindful lunatic on a yoga mat with a bottle of spring water by my side.”

And I am infinitely mindful of your every infinitesimally small screwup and transgression.

Damn right.

Who knows? What you’re on about. Only you.  

But it’s got you going you up off your ass out in the street raving like a fucking lunatic.

Have at it, motherfucker,  have at it. We’ve already had our way with your mother so have at it!  

****

I wouldn’t say this if it wasn’t important.

Granted there are a lot of people upset about the election. It’s apparent that the democratic party though, has gone too far w their rhetoric. All this about Civil War, impeachment, and every other extreme Kathy Griffin type of nastiness, isn’t that what it is? You tell me? What is it?

Trump’s approval numbers for July according to Gallup, are higher than LBJ, Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter and the same as Clinton. Depressing isn’t it?  But keep swimming.  Keep up the good fight. But be careful about unintended consequences.  

There are people that actually voted for Trump. It’s not a crime. They were exercising their rights. Now you want to bash them. I understand. I’ve lived through Nixon and Bush and LBJ.  Mistakes were clearly made and lives were sacrificed.  At this point we have not reached that level of atrocity. Perhaps we should all remember sticks and stones may break my bones.  

There is good evidence that LBJ had Kennedy killed. He was in on it. Lone gunman ... I don’t think so. The Warren report was fraud a massive fabrication.

I’m saying this so that you can see and acknowledge that there is a Behind the scenes network. They carried off that coup . And they carried off 911.  They got Americans to believe a lie. Aided and abetted by the mainstream media.

Do you want to know the truth? You’re not going to get it by being outraged at everything that the mainstream media reports as fact. There is a truth community it is neither Republican nor Democrat. It is both.

I don’t know why Trump won. But Hillary was part of the reason. Number one the way she treated Bernie...Number two Hillary herself.  This whole thing of winning at all costs doubling down, Russian collusion, you need to investigate how that all started. It was a campaign hatched on day one. Opposition research that went too far just like everything that Hillary does.

You have to recognize that even when you protest the other side has a right to their point of you. You have to try to meet in the middle. I was an activist for 20 years before all this happened. One of the things that most of us realized was you can’t let anger take over your life.  You can be angry but use it in a constructive way! Our model was Gandhi civil disobedience discourse.

Also you need to look at George Soros from the other side. What they really want is a police state. They want to stifle dissent.  Which is ironic. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t call people racist who simply disagree on the way to proceed. The kind of solution on immigration etc.  I don’t care if you have the pope on your side calling people out as racists for wanting to enforce immigration laws that already exist that have existed for years in every country. Why would such a radical agenda as open borders be promoted?  Is that not a dangerous idea? Just open the borders to everyone? It would be nice if we lived in that kind of world. But there are bad guys and we don’t live in that kind of world.

There is so much wrong with the liberal agenda right now. It is diametrically opposed to historical liberalism. You hurt your cause w some  of the tactics that are used to promote your cause.  

You need to break away from all of that because number one where is it coming from? Consider the source. The mainstream media which is controlled by the CIA. It is heavily regulated by the CIA. If you would do your research you would find out that Gloria Steinem worked with the CIA.  So did Nancy Pelosi. Gloria Steinem by her own account in an interview went into great detail about those days. They funded Ms. magazine. Do you think that she was the only one? Do you think that practice has stopped?

Go to Ted talks on YouTube and watch the video of the reporter who defected from the mainstream media and is now a whistleblower. It is amazing how devious they are and have become.  

Sheryl Atkinson

https://youtu.be/-bYAQ-ZZtEU

Also look up Maria Kennedy Shriver on Krista Tippet’s “On Being” talk show on NPR.   She talks about some of the mistakes that folks on the left have made. She talks about her faith. It’s a very good interview. She has written a book.

Sorry for any typos, and lack of syntax. I’m typing with my thumb on my phone. 😗

It’s interesting how Hillary and her supporters. And many politicians.  Oh hell the worm turns. Which is exactly what Hillary Clinton is, a worm.  For at least half a century detente has been seen as a good thing by most politicians and Americans. But now, when it is advantageous to the Democrats to save face, they set up a new boogie man. Guess who it is Russia!Traditionally, it has been the Democrats who were prone to not take a hard line on Russia.  But now and at election time sadly we’re supposed to pay Russians! It’s our patriotic duty to hate Russians ... and lovee the cia!!! WTF.  But Hillary says... oh is it Hillary? Oh yes it is. It’s Hillary. Hillary says, and of course she is very objective here. She just lost the election but no matter. She can still remain objective about all of this. She wouldn’t be blaming the Russians to excuse her own failure would she? That would just be too coincidental too convenient.  Take her word for it. You’re w her.  The embattled and bitter Hillary Clinton. Thats a ship I definitely don’t want to go down with.  I never was on that bandwagon. And I am not now.

From the Hills and valleys mountains rivers and streams...A place called Appahchia (pronounced AppaLATCHia)

https://youtu.be/P0725bnDyJ0

*********

Electronic voting in the US is a huge problem.

#1. Both parties have hacked voting computers.  The DNC is famous or infamous for Voter fraud.

#2. They bus people to several locations to vote.   Remember the irregularities in Arizona during the primary? These people kNo there is a pot of gold at the end of anrainbow. Do you think a little thing like fraud is going to stop them?

#3. Diebold has been kicked out of Europe.  

https://columbusfreepress.com/article/diebold-indicted-its-spectre-still-haunts-ohio-elections

https://youtu.be/NFpLKc6S_-o

https://youtu.be/jH30e7YIKeQ

https://youtu.be/BNZTJeu9ddw

https://youtu.be/u4FPuLNjvAc. Fox

https://youtu.be/MoGeDGHmwJU

https://youtu.be/OvF213popIA. Flipped

https://youtu.be/_IAJ5fAm3Cs. Investigators

https://youtu.be/ibK4de85IKw. Calling Hillary Cunton

https://youtu.be/mEp0kUzmLns. 56 Diebold machines

https://youtu.be/VNzrJWIX5Fw

https://youtu.be/cy1IlAXeV30

Ron Paul.

https://youtu.be/Cx5YyiyWOH4

Princeton Diebold Study

https://youtu.be/hDc8PVCvfKs

Steallary Clinton

old tyme rockin gospel blues to make your drive more 'interesting' without taking your eyes off the road. or not. the visual is quite interesting too.  I may have stumbled on inter-dimensional photography...see if you can find the creatuers that inhabits these one of a kind photographs by t. paige.

Aug 24 and 25

Here is Jim- al X. Zones telling his side of the story. Oops sorry not available.  It’s been deleted since last night when I watched it.  It’s been removed from my YouTube history.

Go ahead try it.  Remember the Dixie chicks? How they were banned? This is no different. Madonna  says she wants to s*** Moamar khadaffi and f*** the guy in the Vanilla H *** but no  repercussions. Sorry Virgin Mary but Hillary blew him first.

It’s coming. Chinese style censorship.  I’m w the ACLU on this one folks. Unpopular opinions should not be banned any more than the library should ban  Catcher in the Rye.  Say goodbye to another freedom as we approach The NannyState.  Men have lost their cojones.  

Notice: You cannot NOT care. You must care.  For this thing right here. Not caring for this thing is not allowed.  You must care about women, minorities, etc because we say so. We don’t care but we’re hypocrites. That’s the difference. We’re all sociopaths. So that’s just how it works because...WE HAVE MORE MONEY AND we are IMPORTANT.  You, not so much. So you see it’s not really hypocrisy.  

ALSO, you are not allowed to care about your self you selfish Nazi racist bastard.

https://youtu.be/PtfAl6I4SM0

This might get me into trouble.

I posted Pray For our Country and got some anti trumpies comments.  They said  I’ll pray for that man in the WH.  Like he’s the only problem is the only one that we needs to pray about.

It’s starting to really piss me off.  Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.  

Is there another reason to pray?  Is it because bombs are being dropped?  Is it because Obama decided we no longer have to declare war to drop bombs on people? Just pick a country. That we can bomb people anywhere anytime we want?  

Or is it because someone offended you?  Did it offend you when a convicted pedophile got a standing ovation from most of Hollywood including Meryl Streep at the Academy Awards? Or that madonna said she wanted to blow the White House up?   ( remember the Dixie Chicks! )

Or that Hillary Clinton got a child trafficer off the hook? When she kidnapped 30 children in Haiti? Or that this woman now is working for Amber alert? Under a different name? Is it because Muslim grooming gangs in England kept young girls around for sexual purposes for decades?  Is it because refugees from starving Africa are storming the beaches of Spain?  And roaming the streets of Italy with hatchets and machetes? Is it because there are approximately 1000 no go zones throughout Europe? Where the police do not dare go near?   Is it because there are towns in England that have been Muslimized, the churches and the pubs shut down. Is it because the plan under Hillary was to do the same here?

Is it because the real problem here is hypocrisy and fuzzy think.  Right and wrong no longer matter and is no longer discernible or desired by MSM brainwashed people.  Just don’t offend me ... my delicate feelings are all that matters... none of the above matters. But if you go off script, say something that offends me... ohmy! look out! I am on the warpath and I am marching on Washington!  

The problem here is,  “you awake?” is no longer the punch line of a joke about redneck foreplay.

Hi Kathy, I'm sorry I upset you. We can agree to disagree? I'm sure there's a lot we agree on.

Number one we are in deep do. But we just know it now but i guess we always have been.  

They tried to kill us once already in the 60s, but somehow we fought back and we won. I wish we could have that kind of unity today. I think there's a way but we need to make certain tweaks. Remember it was all about civil disobedience and Henry David Thoreau.  Mahatma Gandhi.  Martin Luther King. Bob Dylan. And I believe that kind of a movement is still possible.  But they've taken away the music from young people and left them with Taylor Swift.  

Back then we felt that women had our backs. That's not true today. The feminist counter movement became obsessed with attacking men and advancing some strange agenda, apart from liberating women. It became part of the divide and conquer strategy.  

Every movement, is prone to a counter movement.  The countermovement is in many of these movements.  They take the energy from the movement and use it for their own devices and political purposes.  To garner support>votes>power not for the people but for themselves, those at the top of the countermovement within these movements.

There I go again.  But doesn't that make sense Kathy?  It really doesn't matter if we agree even on this. That is just one example of how we can agree to disagree and still survive. This has happened even in the church.  In every movement. Every movement that becomes a household word is fair game and a prime target to be overtaken and used and taken in a direction that it was not intended for. Sometimes the very opposite of that direction. This is true in the case of the church. The goal is to capture the heart. The closer it gets to the heart the more damage is done. If they can’t get to the heart from the inside they will destroy it from the outside as in the case of environmental assaults on our mountains and water.  

One of the tweaks I mentioned was allowing God to inform our decisions.  We have to do this first in ourselves.  We have to forgive for one thing. Remember we had Martin Luther King, a minister, a preacher a church person. Yes we do have to be careful. That’s why I say it begins in our own hearts.

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I really don’t mean to preach. I just think it’s important that we allow God at least allow people who have that in their make up to exist if that is their dream to have it as a part of their solution.  

Some people feel this is an outmoded form of expression.  It certainly can be abused and a means of control which is what God does not want. To me the Lords prayer is the perfect expression of God and also Psalm 23.   But there are many more. These are just two of the ones that have had a major impact on me.  

But I recognize that even in myself there is a war going on.  So sometimes I have to step back and re-center.  When everything is working properly within and everything is in balance that is the only time I really have anything to offer.  It’s really easy to fall off the wagon though.  Trial and error.  It’s not easy to get there.  

This morning I woke up and everything was fine. Then I thought of some injury or slight and immediately my happiness was gone.   Because my focus became anger.  Yes, I do have a lot to be angry about but I can’t focus on it. And I have to forgive from my heart if I want to be happy, is what I realized.  So i’m working on it. Lol.  OK?   Hopefully I’ll change. Become more mellow, lol. Bear w me ok?  It’s important to me to get along with people care about. I understand if you need a break from this deeply flawed person. I know I’m a handful. I try to shield people from my neuroses and unpleasantness, but sometimes it gets the better of me.  I’ve always been kind of an agitator at heart.  But I will always try to make it right.  Right now I think that people just need a break from all of my drama.   That’s the message I’m giving this morning.

Have a good day Kathy. I hope we can agree on more than just a little.

Here is the song that meant so much to me.  TY.

Paige

https://youtu.be/70D4pf6EH9M