#and for my last semester I am taking not one but two creative writing classes!!!!

[sellenite]

personal note: I’m so so so so so beyond excited for this fall semester to be over, I have been absolutely TRUDGING through it… all of my creative projects have taken a back-burner for my academic work, which is sad because I have so many ideas locked away in my brain. so thank you to all my followers and moots for sticking around despite my lack of writing posts :’) I promise I’ll have more fics posted in a few weeks when I don’t have as much work going on!

[moss-lovingtransmasc]

Hello everyone!!

I'm writing a cherik fanfic and posting my work for the first time somewhere - when I finish it I'll put it on ao3, but for now I'll post sections of it here! Advice, comments, etc. are very much appreciated! (Also my writing style might change between sections/ chapters bc I'm still learning what my style is, just a heads up. :)

(modern AU, college/uni AU, no powers, alternate meeting)

-Monday-

Charles woke up to the sound of his phone beeping. 

The morning sun and late summer air spread through his room from his open window. 

Bird calls echoed from the tree outside.

Groggily, he reached over to his nightstand to turn off the alarm. 

7:30 AM

It was the beginning of his fourth year at Queen Mary University, and by the end of this year he was going to get his Bachelor’s degree in Biology. He checks his university app to look at what his new schedule is. He had Cellular Biology and Calculus III today. Then, he checked his reminders for the day. 

-Do laundry on Tuesday

-Finish graduation project for bio - due second semester

-Fill in empty class period for first semester (ASAP)

-Get groceries

-Pick up anxiety meds for Hank from pharmacy (Wednesday)

Fuck. He forgot to talk with his counselor about that free space in his schedule. 

--

In the middle of his second period, Charles checks his schedule again- and finds he doesn’t have enough time after his last class to talk to Ms. Frost. So when his second class ended, Charles spedwalk to his counselor’s office. 

Ms. Frost’s office was at the end of the hall in the East Wing. He always had a feeling that she didn’t like him very much. Or anyone for that matter. Every time he saw her, she always seemed cold, and occasionally just outright rude to students. Like she was always tired of them. Why the hell did she become a college counselor?

Arriving at Ms. Frost’s office, two faint voices inside got his attention. 

“You can go fuck off for all I care”

“What- What did you just say to me?!”

“You heard me Summers - now get out…Please.”

“Alright I’ll fuck off then…” Scott replied under his breath as Charles heard footsteps towards the door. 

The door swung open, and he caught a glimpse of a pissed off guy leaving the office. His face had looked slightly familiar, and Charles vaguely remembered seeing him pass in the halls on the way to some of his classes.

Grabbing the door knob and stepping inside, Charles saw Ms. Frost at her desk, looking down at some student files.

“Hello! Uh, I’m here about an additional class credit I need for graduation.”

“Okay. Sit down” She replied curtly, opening her laptop and clacking on the keyboard. 

He took the single office chair across from her desk and sat down. A beat of silence passed as Ms. Frost got the student registry up. Charles looked around her office in the meantime. 

It wasn't very cluttered like some other school staff’s offices were. She did have a few decorations and knick-knacks scattered around. Silver little objects on her bookshelves, posh-looking white and diamond decorations on the walls, the light blue picture frames that held her degrees and documents that she was required to hang up. Now that he’s thinking about it, her name really matches up with her room. 

“Name, year and major?”

His head snapped up as he heard Ms. Frost’s voice.

“Charles Francis Xavier - 4th year Genetics Major”

She gave him a look that probably silently judged why he said his middle name. He wasn't quite sure why he did either. As far as he knew of, there wasn't another Xavier in the Science department.

“Lets see…You need one credit left of a creative class, since you've taken almost all of the possible science classes here…”

Oh God no. Charles had never had an interest in drawing, painting, or any other art form, and to be honest, he was never good at it anyways. “Please don't make me take a class with painting or something - I'm terrible at it.”

 “Alright- Well, there is a metalworking class- which happens to be the only class that fits your preferences and your schedule, so I’d recommend that.” 

When did the university have a metalworking class? Sounded interesting enough…

“Uh- sure. I’ll take that. Thank you”

“Okay, I'll sign you up for it then. The next class is tomorrow.” 

“Alright Thank you Ms. Frost!” 

“Bye.” Charles heard her say - in a slightly annoyed tone - as he opened the door to leave. 

That went surprisingly well.

He really shouldn’t have put it off until the first day though…

-Tuesday-

It occurred to him that his new metalworking class might not be that great, or that popular at the very least if they had late scheduling available.  

Oh well - he just needed to graduate and then he could explore genetics outside the restraints of school. First, he had his favorite class of the day: Study of Human Evolution III. He had taken the intro course his first year and loved every minute of it. 

He found it fascinating how thousands of millions of years on Earth had changed tiny single-celled organisms to the conscious and complex beings humans are today. Capable of thought, capable of studying themselves and building societies. Yet still so animal - having base human instincts ingrained into their genetic make up. 

After that class though, he had his first day of metalworking - in room 109B. 

He was not looking forward to this. 

--

As he walked down the art hallways, he eventually recognized the room number. 

Opening the door and peering inside, to his surprise, he found that the class was almost completely full. All except for one seat at a large workshop table in the back of the class. 

Charles stepped inside and walked over, hearing the bell ring seconds after. 

Oh shit he was almost late. 

Charles was almost never late, being the top student in most of his classes, he prided himself on being punctual. He just had some trouble navigating the art hallways, was all, never stepping foot in them before. He had to admit that it was a little embarrassing, studying here for the past three years…

He sat down on the stool, looking at the tall student next to him. He looked about his age, if not a little bit older looking. Not by much though.  

“Hello! I’m Charles.” Introducing himself and offering a smile.

… 

The guy next to him didn't say anything, just smiled politely at him. 

Charles just assumed didn’t like much conversation. 

The professor started introducing himself and his students to the class, mentioning something about the syllabus. Charles normally would have paid more attention if it was any other class, and if it was any other person next to him. 

Charles didn’t normally stare at people this much, even people who he was attracted to, but for some reason he couldn’t stop looking at the guy next to him. As secretly as he could of course, looking at him through the corner of his left eye while facing the front of the class. He knew his face from some of his classes last year, and his Cellular Biology class yesterday. He was usually too interested in the subject matter to talk with anyone, and this guy was quiet and always sitting in the back. 

Besides that, he was just a very handsome man. His strong facial structure, his slightly stern eyebrows. His black turtleneck sweater complimented his neck and captured his figure so well.

“Erik Eisenhardt?” 

“Here.”

Erik then. That was his name. 

Charles listened to the rest of the roll call but didn't hear his name. The roster might not have been updated yet. He made a mental note to talk to the professor at the end of class. 

They first learned about basic safety measures of metalworking, like the protective equipment, hazards, and mentioned a safety contract. He also introduced the class to the tools they had at the stations, what they were going to be using most often, along with techniques like cutting and welding. 

“And remember, metalworking can be a very useful skill to know for trade jobs, but it can also be an art form. And since you all aren't in trade school, I’m going to assume you all joined for the art aspect of it, which is what we’ll be focusing on anyways.” 

The professor stood up and handed out the contracts to each table. 

“Here’s the safety contract I need you all to sign if you still wish to continue. I’ll need it by next class, so I’ll give you all some time to read it today. And please don’t be shy -  feel free to ask any questions.”

As he got to Charles’ table, he realized that he didn’t hear the professor’s name. There was a chalkboard at the front, but it was blank. 

“Hey - Erik was it? Did you catch the professor’s name?”

“Professor Azazel I think.”

“Thank you”

They didn't talk to each other for the rest of class. 

--

As the period came to an end, Charles went up to the front of the room to talk to Prof. Azazel. 

“Hello Professor! I believe that my name isn’t on the list yet? I registered for this class yesterday, but I just wanted to let you know that I was present today.”

“Okay, I’ll mark you down. Next time though, tell me during roll call.”

“Will do! Have a good rest of your day.” 

As Charles went back to grab his laptop bag, he saw that Erik left a small spiral notebook. Picking it up, he decided to return it in his Cellular Bio class tomorrow.

[lexascend]

Blog 1: Introduction & Project

On July 11, 2024, I entered the last year of my twenties. Each year, on or around my solar return, I like to take time out and deeply reflect on my life. I think about how the past year has been. The ups and the downs. The decisions I've made. And then I think about how I want the upcoming year to be.

For the past few years, I've been a stay-at-home mom and while I thoroughly enjoy being able to be so hands on with my babies, it is not fulfilling. I believe that I have more gifts than motherhood alone. There's a feeling of unease that comes with the awareness of unused potential and I have gotten to a point where I can no longer ignore said feeling.

So, here it is, almost a month later, and I'm at the start of my graduate program. It's been over five years since I last attended a university. Between then and now, I've gained two of the most venturesome children, a husband that insists that we both operate off of only my brain (we have been contemplating donating his for scientific research to avoid waste), a chorkie that believes he's a ferocious guard dog, and approximately ten extra pounds that refuse to part ways with me.

Regarding this semester, excitement is an understatement! I feel like I can conquer the world and all the challenges these rigorous courses may bring. One of the major differences between "undergraduate me" and "graduate me" is my perspective. As an undergraduate student, I failed to see the value in any post-secondary education. I was there because my parents insisted that I go, and I just wanted to get it over with so that I could be "done with school for the rest of my life".

Ha! Look at me now. My twenty-one-year-old self would be nothing short of flabbergasted.

Now that I have more clarity on what I'd like to make of myself in this lifetime, I am eager to learn. I see the value in higher education and professional development. I am ready and committed to applying myself and going full throttle after the goals I've set.

Ergo, upon seeing the project listed for my "Writing Creative Nonfiction" course, I did not huff and puff. I smiled in anticipation. As you can imagine, a lot of my time is spent taking care of others. This project gives me the perfect opportunity to get in the habit of doing something solely for myself. For my semester-long project, I've decided to take weekly Pilates classes in efforts to lose those stubborn ten pounds that are no longer aesthetically serving me and tone my body for a more fit appearance.

Let the journey begin :)

[fortunesfavours]

time travel in ten - sequential narrative collage piece done for my class, Artifact.

ramblings below the cut for those interested in the process/life update for friends who have noticed i've been gone

right lmao. i had two weeks to do this project and had a completely different idea that i just could not get myself to be excited about. emailed my prof in desperation, but it being like 10 pm meant that she was not about to respond. within 30 minutes, as it goes, i got struck with divine inspiration by whatever force of nature governs procrastination-induced genius, and i promptly spent the next 12 waking hours non-stop working on this.

my class, artifact, is a requirement for the foundation year at the college i attend. it centers around time-based media, ranging from the sequential illustration here to video later in the semester, and a bunch of other projects designed to get us thinking in 4d. artifact is the theme of the class - my peers are doing the same projects under a variety of different themes (tragically, haunting filled up too quickly and i missed out on enrollment in that one).

our first project was designing an artifact and doing a write-up of the story behind it. the girl to my left made beaded spiders members of a fictional cult carried. the guy across from me made an amulet of a long-dead god. you get the vibes. mine, which I still need to take professional photos of, is a pocketwatch that lets you time travel. cause, yknow. i'm me. it was gonna be about time travel.

i had originally intended to do a bunch of drawings of the watch's owner, building out her backstory and the world she lives in, and explaining why the watch exists,,,, then i couldn't bring myself to pick up the stylus. I just can't seem to find the energy for my usual digital art (sorry friends i miss yall i'm still here i swear).

here's the bit about my life so feel free to stop reading if you just care about the art 👍

I haven't drawn fanart or my ocs in months now, since last semester, and I miss it a whole bunch but right now that creative energy just. is not happening. i don't plan on abandoning it forever by any means, but p much everything i have is going towards school right now. sad as that is, i'm having so much fun, and i'm so proud of the technical improvements i've made. I've got so many things i want to create, mostly for my ocs. i still love crit role, but i've fallen of campaign three. i don't have the time, and the story hasn't been engaging me for a bit.

i've been really into dr who lately, and am eagerly waiting for the spare time to sit and watch all of candela obscura. i'm in a new dnd game. i've got friends! real life friends! irl friends who called me the wizard friend within a few hours of knowing me before i even opened my mouth about dnd lmao. i've discovered a new love of collage, and i've just declared my major in something unique to my school, a program called Studio for Interrelated Media. i'll be learning about illustration still through the extra electives i'll have room for, but i also get to explore printmaking in more depth, as well as event planning, installation, curation, and theatre work as well.

i miss being on here a whole bunch and want to be more active when i get more time. don't plan on abandoning this blog by any means. boston has been kind to me, and though i have had some Real Low Points, i've also been living the life i've hoped for since i was a kid. i'm good, really really good.

to my friends, ily, i miss you, and i hope you're well. can't wait to catch up on all yalls art and fic. sending all my love. <3

[savventeen]

OOH IF YOU'RE STILL TAKING ASKS FOR THE TROPE THING can i get vernon and like you two are assigned partners on an art project but he's awful at art LMFAO okay thank love you xx

JJ BELOVED HI HELLO I AM FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO THIS <333333

okay first of all i LOVE this idea skfjllkdfl this would definitely be a fun, comedic, romcom nonsense fic hehehe

i'm picturing this being set in like, a fucking calculus class and this project is the professor's way of trying to "bring more creativity to the sciences" or whatever. and vernon's just like. 'dude. how on earth is making a collage...sculpture...thing... supposed to help me learn calculus???' no one in the class really gets it either, since they can just, you know, do the math without having to create anything. but whatever, a little arts n crafts never hurt anyone [spoiler alert: it maybe hurts someone *cough*vernon*cough* a little at some point]

anyway, vernon ends up being partnered up with reader who, thank god, actually has an idea for what they can do for their project and also talks like someone who knows about art. in fact, they seem really into art and like, super pumped for this project. which is great! except, they're also really cute? and like, they're maybe kinda sorta the person he's been lowkey crushing on from afar since last semester???

and because having a crush sometimes makes you say/do stupid things, he tells reader that he can totally help with the art portion, easy peasy. [narrator voice: it was not, in fact, easy peasy] queue montage of the week leading up to when they're supposed to meet up again: - vernon desperately watching all kinds of youtube videos trying to learn how to Art™️ - him walking into a Michael's and just being so lost and overwhelmed that he just. has a bit of an existential crisis in the fabric section - he somehow manages to accidently cut himself with a pair of scissors while trying to do some kind of papercraft thing and has to go to the nurse's office. - his roommate (let's make it chan for funsies) is convinced that he's having some kind of mental breakdown "hyung, i don't know what to do, he's just staring at a pile of children's playdough like it holds the secrets of the universe. or maybe like it killed his pet goldfish. i don't know, he's just being weird."

all of this leads up to when reader and vernon meet up again to present their 'prototypes' of the art part of the project so they can decide which they like better and then start actually working on it. reader is already at the cafe they agreed to meet at, and vernon (sleep deprived and already overly caffeinated) walks up to where reader is sitting, drops his sad attempt at art on the table, and blurts "i lied about being good at art because you're really cute and it broke my brain a little bit and i'm actually really, really bad at it. i'm so sorry." and then he fucking WALKS AWAY because he's a LOSER and you were extra cute today and his brain is still a bit broken and reader ends up having to chase him down the street, his shitty attempt at art clutched in one hand, to tell him that it's fine, they can handle the art part as long as he does his fair share of the math

"and like. maybe i could, teach you? sometime? if you want to learn, that is. and i'm not the best artist, but i've taught some summer camp classes before, and—" / "wait, you'd really wanna do that? after seeing how bad at it i am?" / "well... it means i'd get to spend some extra time with you outside of school, so... yeah"

vernon of course readily agrees, and they start going on little art dates together (and yes, they're Date dates bc vernon finally gets his shit together and asks them out) and they get a solid B- on the project bc while reader is great at art, turns out neither of them are the best at math rip </3

[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]

[iambecomeabook]

what it’s like majoring in creative writing

considering majoring in creative writing ? let me tell you about it to help you make a decision :)

hello ! i am a current creative writing major (sophomore, going to be a junior next semester) and am going to share a bit of what it’s like, in case you are considering majoring in it, as well !

disclaimer: programs may (and probably do) vary from school to school, so my experience is not going to be one size fits all. but, i think that it could give you a general idea of what to expect.

firstly, get ready to read and write. a lot. i’m not kidding. my school requires all creative writing (henceforth referred to as cw) majors to minor in literature, which i personally was already planning on doing. on top of reading for lit classes, your writing classes will also most likely require reading. in my workshop classes, i was often tasked with reading poems and short stories by both other students and established authors. (pro tip: add the short stories on goodreads, it’ll help you reach your goal real fast). you will also be doing a lot of writing. in my intro to cw course, i wrote four poems, a piece of flash fiction, and a short story. i also had to revise them for the final portfolio. in my intermediate fiction workshop, i wrote two short stories and a craft analysis essay, which i revised for the final portfolio. i also had to annotate and give notes on others’ stories. currently, i’m in a craft class where i have to write three short stories and a craft analysis essay, and an intermediate poetry class where i’ve had to write three poems every week (revise five of them from the first half of the semester and then another five for the last half, then create a final portfolio where you once again revise those previously revised poems). for lit classes, you will also have to write essays. if you���re an english major in general, you will be writing so. many. essays.

next up, you have to be able to take criticism. you will most likely be involved in a lot of workshops, meaning you will share your work with others, who will in turn give you commentary and criticism on it. you will do the same for others. sharing work can be vulnerable and scary, but it is extremely helpful, and you will benefit a lot from it ! everyone i’ve workshopped with so far has been very nice, so i wouldn’t worry too much about anyone being mean. remember, everyone else is just as nervous as you ! and also remember not to compare yourself to others ! it’s very hard, trust me, i really struggled with it last semester, but you have to learn to be confident in your skills ! workshops will either boost or tank that confidence lmao. but it all will serve to make you a better writer !

my university requires that all cw majors write a thesis in their last two semesters, which could be a poetry collection, short story collection, or a novel. in addition, you will also have to do a reading of some of your work. once again, this may not be the standard for all schools, but i feel like it’s important information.

my school also has a literary magazine that they publish at the end of the fall semester. it’s open to all undergrad english and cw students at my school, as well as artists. on my campus it’s also run by cw majors, and it’s required that you work on it during one of your fall semesters in order to graduate. i am actually getting my first ever publication next month through it ! i don’t know if every university does this the exact same way, but lots of them have their own literary magazines. these are a fantastic way to get published. if your university doesn’t have one, there are still plenty of undergrad lit mags, so i encourage you to research them !

the last major thing i can think of is community. my campus has a great community for writers. my university is fairly small, so you tend to end up in classes with a lot of the same people. you kind of just end up becoming at least surface-level friends with a lot of people simply from being in so many classes together :) my campus also has a creative writing club and an english honors society, both of which i’m a part of, and those have been great for making other writer friends ! writing can be very lonely, so having a community can be very encouraging ! it also helps to have ppl keep you accountable haha

^^ the aforementioned cw club also does readings twice a semester, which are volunteer based, but are good for getting in practice ! (and just for sharing your work in general)

that’s all i can think of at this moment, and i hope it was helpful ! feel free to ask any questions !!

[clementines-writing-corner]

🚨new project just dropped *sighs in wip hell*

Hello friends!

So… if any of you happened to see that last post I reblogged (and had a peek at the tags) then you’ll have an idea about what this post is going to be about. Unfortunately, it will not be about my original high fantasy story project, as I had hoped last week. It is about something entirely different. Huzzah!! (I mean that in the most semi-sarcastic way possible– I am excited but also annoyed lol). 

I completed and turned in my first creative brief writing assignment for any of my writing classes this semester (and am currently halfway through my second for a different class) and, long story short, ended up getting kinda hooked on the story that happened to develop while I was writing. So… new project. Yay. ᕱ__ᕱ

For the assignment, I chose to try to combine two stories from the weekly writing prompts that we do for the class and imagine how the characters I created in them would interact with a slightly larger story rather than 2-3 pages of chicken scratch character development scenes. I ended up succeeding in this goal, one may even say superseding it, in fact. The plan was to write them into a short story with a little more plot. What ended up happening is that I created a whole new character, slapped them and one of the original characters in the middle of a huge plot, and wrote an entire chapter (+ some change) for a novel involving them. And not even like the first chapter of a novel. Noooooooo. I had to skip ahead and write like chapter 10 or something. 

So… (promise it’s the last time I’m doing that) yeah. That’s what has taken over my brain this week. An entirely new project. (I can never get anything actually done around here I swear!!) A couple more details about it before I give you a little taste of my draft because why not:

It will probably by a middle grade novel (unlike high fantasy project)

Speaking of – this story is definitely more low fantasy, as in it takes place in a version of our world in which magic exists (which will make it 10 million times easier to write because I wont be creating everything from scratch ha ha ᕱ__ᕱ)

It will take place in the modern day and age (perhaps like a few years old, but definitely after 2000)

Plot so far is vaguely based on the story of the snow queen by hans christian andersen (which is what disney's frozen is loosely based on btw)

The main character is around 12-13 years old (right now anyway)

And, as promised, a little snippet of this project. Let me know what y’all think!

**

A branch snapped to my left. 

My back straightened and I took a step towards Ms. Cattell, before slipping on a patch of wet leaves. I would have face-planted into the tree roots in front of me if Ms. Cattell hadn’t caught my arm. Her hands were very soft. How she got the few paces back to me so fast, I didn’t know. Magic?! My inner Paxton squealed. Shut up, my inner me shot back, not now Pax!

Crack! Another branch fell victim to whatever was creeping towards us.

My heart started pounding against my ribcage. I looked up at Ms. Cattell, my eyes wide and panicked, only to see a soft smile on her face as she stared off in the direction the sounds were coming from. As if feeling my gaze, she directed the smile down at me and patted my arm where she had grabbed it, before letting me go and crouching down, looking back into the forest and holding her arms out.

Suddenly, a blur of brownish-gray fluff hurtled out of the brambles and into Ms. Cattell’s open arms. She grinned down at the fluff, now cradled to her chest, before standing and turning her gaze back towards me, clicking her tongue. “Now Alvin, look what you’ve done!” Ms. Cattell gently scolded the fluff, still smiling. “You’ve frightened the poor dear. And after the day she’s had too, you should be ashamed of yourself!” 

**

But yeah. Like I said earlier, I’m pretty excited about this project. I haven’t been able to really develop another project in years since my mind has been stuck on my high fantasy story so for me to come up with a new project like this completely out of the blue (or so it seems) is actually really refreshing (if not really annoying because I wish high fantasy story stuff would come as easily). 

^ me @/myself right now (especially that eye twitch fr)

I will still most definitely be working on high fantasy stuff, do you worry, but occasionally this story might make an appearance as I continue to post on this blog. So… (ha ha I lied earlier) buckle up folks because, as it often does, my creative writing goals just got a bit messier lol. ᕱ__ᕱ

And whatever you're working on, don’t forget to cross your j’s and dot your t’s!

~Clementine J. Quincey 🪷

[c-mccormick-svad-2022-2025]

(ARTS345) Project #1: Manifesto Posters & Shepard Fairey Exhibit @ McKissick Museum

Week Two

NOTE: There was no Blog Post for Week One, as students were required to create a website on any platform (WIX, Squarespace, AdobePortfolio, etc.) and post the link to basecamp. Here's the Link to my website.

Project #1: Manifesto Poster - Creative Brief, Written Manifesto & Polaroid Photographs

This week marked the beginning of Project #1 for my visual and verbal design course with Professor Valdes. It's hard to believe that this is my final class with Professor Valdes at USC. Time sure flies by quickly, but I'm looking forward to continuing our partnership as I begin my work as a graphic design intern at SVAD. This semester and next, I'll have the opportunity to collaborate with him and the other design professors.

The first project for this course involves designing a Manifesto poster. The creative brief defines a manifesto as a published verbal declaration of the issuer's intentions, motives, or views, whether an individual, group, political party, or government. Manifestos typically either endorse a previously published opinion or public consensus or promote new ideas with recommendations for effecting changes that the author deems necessary. They are often political or artistic and can also express an individual's perspective. In the context of this course, the Manifesto project aims to articulate why I want to be a graphic designer and what graphic design means to me. I can discuss my design influences, heroes, goals, where I see myself in the design world, what aspects of design excite me the most, where I seek design knowledge outside of school, what excites me about my design education, what I fear the most, what brings me the most happiness, and what I believe personally. These are a few topics to consider on my journey to pursue my BFA in graphic design (which I will receive in the Spring of 2025!). But the most critical question to ponder is this - why am I in this major? From writing this design brief, I will create an 11x17 poster that includes a primary visual, secondary visual, third level, fourth level, and fifth level.

The primary visual will be a Polaroid photograph in class or during my free time. In my case, I initially took a black and white Polaroid photograph in front of the McKissick Museum during our class field trip to the Shepherds Ferry Exhibit. However, as the photograph was too dark to see myself clearly, I decided to take new pictures at my apartment complex. Fortunately, my roommate's boyfriend, Reese, kindly allowed me to borrow his Polaroid camera, and I purchased 20 color film cards from the store. I first tested my shots in my bedroom before the window. While these shots were nice, the background was dull, and the lighting wasn't as dramatic as I'd hoped. Then I went outside into the parking lot on a cloudy day. Although the new images appeared somewhat dark, I managed to get a clearer profile photograph of myself, which I would eventually use in my initial poster drafts.

As for the other visuals, the secondary visual is my first and last name, and the third level visual would be a tagline that describes my overall manifesto. The fourth level visual is my shortened and edited manifesto, reduced to one solid paragraph. The fifth and final level is the GD+| logo that is posted on Basecamp. Ultimately, I'm pleased with how my polaroid photographs turned out, and I'm looking forward to incorporating them into my final poster design.

Shepherd's Ferry Exhibit @ The McKissick Museum

This month, The McKissick Museum opened a new exhibit titled "Facing the Giant-3 Decades of Dissent: Shepard Fairey." According to the museum's website, the exhibit showcases 30 silkscreen and mixed media prints by renowned street artist Shepard Fairey from Charleston, SC. The exhibition aims to display some of his most influential pieces that address critical historical issues, calling for societal and political change and empowering others to evaluate issues of oppression, civil rights, and abuse of power. The exhibition was organized by the Landau Traveling Exhibitions in Los Angeles, CA, in association with OBEY GIANT ART. Before visiting the exhibit, Professor Valdes showed us a documentary on Shepard Fairey titled "Obey the Giant," released in 2017. This documentary provided a brief background of the artist responsible for the iconic OBEY artwork. Prior to the documentary and exhibit, I knew very little about Shepard Fairey and had only seen his work in passing. However, after visiting the exhibit, I gained a newfound respect for the artist and his process. My new favorite work of his is the iconic "Make Art Not War" poster. I also learned that his process includes not only screen printing with ink and paper but also a variety of collage elements to create various textures. Overall, Shepard Fairey is an incredibly talented artist and activist, and I am grateful for the opportunity to see his artwork up close and personal in this exhibit. It's so inspiring, and I look forward to applying this inspiration to my first project in visual and verbal design.

[theloniousbach]

RETIREMENT CHRONICLES 2.025

I often write these things at the end of semesters—Fall, Spring, and Summer—plus after Winter Break because my life will be ever tied to the school year. Plus I have tried to follow the sage advice to use the semester format to organize projects, long enough to accomplish something, short enough to provide some focus. I have often used these reflections to grade myself—on health care, fiction—reading and writing, and music plus an overall assessment of retirement.

The summer break with only occasional check backs to school led to an interesting shift. When I left my day job on 9/1/23, it felt like I was working less rather than being retired. Now I feel retired but picking up some interesting, rewarding work despite the fact that it is at school where I am devoting my creative energy, so that my fiction is on hold and reading, like playing music, is recreational more than a focus as it was in the summer. I am allowing myself to go to lunch most Wednesdays and that somehow changes how the time on campus feels.

It’s four weeks into the semester, passed the drop date for courses. So I do need to withdraw from MUSIC (playing) because I am just not focused on it to make specific sustained progress. I play often and try things out and have new songs and arrangements under my belt. But that’s just fun, not systematic.

MUSIC (watching/writing) continues with most of the same old compulsivity, but that too has a subtle retired, not simply less. I do watch many streams and do like having them as writing prompts, but there are sets every week I probably would have watched and wrote about last year.

FICTION/reading is less compulsive. I’m in the middle of three historical fiction series, two mysteries, for which at least two are particularly well done and even literary. So they take some attention that I sometimes don’t get to of an evening. FICTION/writing is on hold as I have turned t

TEACHING to adjust to a very different student body in my class for first years. I have completely reorganized the topics to meet them where they are and to take advantage of what they bring to the conversation. It’s an interesting challenge and I like how I’m meeting it, but it’s more demanding. My other class is familiar in format, though drawing on new material each time. I’m about ready to reprepare for that class in the Spring and to organize a new class on my familiar themes of Place which will include Spring Break in Leiden.

If TEACHING, not FICTION (writing), is my creative outlet and more time consuming, somehow it still seems like I’m more retired, not simply working less. Equally my advising/administrative project has more student time involved. That makes it more rewarding, but it feels easier as that project settles in more organically.

HEALTH CARE though, if anything, remains up a notch from Summer. I’m working out a third day a week. Our walks are daily but more social—with one another or with a neighbor, her dog, and her baby in a stroller. Home yoga is even spottier than guitar playing, though I have a new stretching regime based on ELDOA.

I write now to recognize these shifts and consolidate them. I’m learning and growing with these changes.

[suitelifeofzackandmody]

update / where the hell have you been?? (sep 13)

i can't believe my last post was eight months ago. i mean, i can believe it. i do have a history of abandoning blogs and other social media projects, usually for no apparent reason. this time, though, i kind of know why.

i had my first appointment with my new pcp in february. she was lovely, but when i went to get bloodwork done and do the follow-up appointment, my insurance had a meltdown and refused to cover it for reasons i couldn't seem to get to the bottom of. supposedly, this medical group and practice was in-network, and i am lucky enought that i can choose my pcp, but they still denied coverage for the follow-up after they had covered my previous visit with her with no issue. whatever. it took me two months to get it sorted, and by that time i was drowning in exams and homework and i was not in the mood to take care of it. i said i would make an appointment over the summer, but i didn't. i'm a big numbers person, and so seeing the results of recent labwork, whether it be good or bad, is a big motivator for me to eat healthy and exercise. Without having that, and with no doctor's appointment in sight to act as an accountability check-in, i just did whatever i wanted, which was almost always the exact opposite of what i'm supposed to be doing.

i also had a family incident back in march that left me reeling and demoralized. i will not go into any detail as it is private, but it turned what was supposed to be a joyous occasion into something that haunted me mentally and emotionally for months. my mental health in march-june was at the lowest point it has been for a very long time, and i had absolutely no one i could talk to about it. it was scary. i coped by secretly bingeing food (especially sweets, which as a type 2 diabetic is obviously a huge no-no) and ignoring my responsibilities in favor of any distraction that would keep me from having a thought(tm). unsurprisingly, my grades slipped, my physical health went to shit, i hated myself and my body, and i was ten times more miserable than before. i've never really had friends on campus, but i had people from my classes i was cool with that i talked to, but even those relationships crumbled for reasons i didn't understand. my social anxiety shot through the roof, and the more i was pushed away by these people the more i tried to contort myself into someone they liked, to no avail. i was constantly having issues at work, and i was on campus for so many hours per day four days per week around people that no longer liked me, it was all just completely unsustainable. mercifully, the semester did end, but by the time it did i was left with no friends, no job, a substantially lower gpa than i was okay with, and a brain that wanted to off itself. i had orignally planned on taking online classes during the summer session, but it was clear that i was burned out and would need to spend the summer finding a new job and just trying to patch my life up as best i could.

thankfully, there were also some good moments, too. i was able to take a trip over the summer and see some beautiful nature and visit one of my favorite places. it was a whirlwind that was a ton of fun and exactly what i needed, but it was also an exhausting week. i came back with some concerning symptoms that i probably should have investigated further, but i am still alive and they pretty much went away, so idk. i went to the beach for the day a few times, which has always been really good for my mental health. i started a casual creative writing project that i just work on whenever and don't worry too much about writing well that makes me happy. the fall semester has begun, and i decided to take all online classes, and things are going really well. i am healing, and while there are things i am still grappling with like proper diet and exercise or loneliness, i am a lot better than i was just a couple of months ago.

i hope to get back on track healthwise in the next few weeks. i let my gym membership expire because it was expensive and i wasn't using it, but i think it's time to go back. i am getting back into meal prepping, but it is more difficult than usual because right now i am experiencing aversions to the texture and/or taste of most vegetables and fruits (among other healthy foods), so i am trying to find ways to hide them. i am working on a smoothie recipe that is so far going pretty well, but it is still naturally higher in sugar than i want and i'm not sure how to deal with that.

the goal of this blog has always been to document my journey, keep myself accountable, and to have a place to share some of my thoughts on food, physical and mental health/wellness, and what it's like being a young person with type 2 diabetes existing in a fat body. this has not changed in the last few months, but it was just not something i had the capacity to think about or write about lately. now that i am in a better place, however, that is exactly what i'll be doing. i plan on posting something at least once per week, whether it's an update on how i'm doing, a recipe i've created or a review of one i've tried, a story i want to share, or other thoughts i have on these topics. if that sounds like something you want to see, please stick around!

<3 thanks for reading <3

-suitelifeofzackandmody

[jeramewrites2]

Difficulty in doing

I'm going to be honest. I find it hard to write everyday. There has been a lot going on for me. Nothing as earth shattering as on going climate change or divorce or trying to survive an on going genocide that most of the world has turned a blind eye to. My problems are just that my problems. It is nothing that would make most people worry but for me it has been difficult.

I have been on treacherous ground at work. I work in the medical field and we have not had the number of patients that the executives believe we should. Therefore, they have been looking for someone to blame so that they can change out that person to get the numbers back up. So much so that I have been temporarily reassigned to another clinic. It's been fine. I have taken the opportunity to prove myself with another physician and worked my ass off. All during finals week. Possibly one of three last finals weeks. More on that later.

I believe that I have successful proved my worth so I don't think I am on my way out just yet. I really just need them to keep me around for about another year. Until we are done with the bankruptcy and start saving to move out of the state again. We have been talking about moving out of Texas for 12 years. That was the idea from our first date.

Then enter issues with my father. Due to needing money for the lawyer fees I had to re-connect with my family. We had not seen each other since before the pandemic and I was fine with that. We had not been close before then and I know why. There is no long story there. There isn't a big trauma point to say that is why. My parents where far too young to have children and they never matured emotionally because they didn't know that was a possibility or even that they needed to. Then again before I met my spouse I would not have known that was what I needed either so I can't judge them too harshly.

I am putting up boundaries with them now. They are testing those boundaries and I have to continue to reenforce them. That is what I need to learn right now. Not to be angry when I speak to them and hold firm in what I want and need out of the relationship. If they want to continue that relationship. This is a learning experience.

As far as the one of three last final weeks. I had a conversation with my partner about school and getting a degree or not. She has decided that she no longer wants to finish her degree and is leaving school. When we were first having the conversation I found myself getting warm in the face and defensive. I had only gone back to school two years ago and had bounced around a bit until I found a program that I thought I might like. Texas Tech Creative Writing. I have yet to take a creative writing class through Tech. That will be next semester. I think that will be the second to last semester. I am 41 right now and I do believe that I can do anything but I can't do everything. It's time to write and not study writing. I can do both without going to school and taking out more loans. I have written more today after I am done with my finals than I did all this semester I think.

That probably means that this is the way for me to go. Time to see if I can get some kind of momentum here. Or somewhere. We will see what happens. If anyone has read this and if anyone has gotten to the end AND if you know of a writing community in Dallas/Plano area please leave a comment.

That's a lot of IFs

As always, Thanks for reading.

[hieuthong]

ENTRY 2

uneventful week

I’m a rather nosey person you see, so obviously went to look at other peoples blog and I saw some of them introducing themselves. So i figured I should do that too since this is my first time taking this class and maybe Ms Ashley (you!) can get to know me a bit more.

Hi Ms Ashley! I’m Hieu Thong but you can call me Hilton. To be honest, no one really calls me that name, well, in kindergarten for a brief period i had friends who called me that but after that no one did. However, since I getting into University I started introducing myself as Hilton so I slowly got used to it. I am 20 this year (crying because i’m no longer a teen) Back in secondary school i used to take japanese language lessons because my school offered it or rather some of the classes got a choice to choose between taking Mandarin or Japanese. I as someone who HATED mandarin because i was so bad at it, I obviously chose to take Japanese! I also took piano lessons but i only did up till grade 5. For a period of time i was also enrolled into a creative writing class? but to be honest i don’t have any recalls of what i learnt there 😭 I only remember getting forced to write poems which I could not 😭 So hopefully for this 20% poem assignment i am able to cook something up …

WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK?!?!

(spoiler!! nothing much)

This week was very uneventful :/ On Monday and Tuesday I went to class like usual. Wednesday however i went out with my secondary school trio! We planned this meet up since TWO YEARS AGO! The first time we planned it, I had finals so i couldn’t go. The second we planned to meet up my other friend had her A-Level finals. The THIRD time we planned the OTHER friend had her finals, so it was never a successful meet up until this week… since my class ended at 10 we could meet up for lunch. My friend drove the both of us out for the first time and let’s just say i’ll offer to drive next time we go out. She road rage so much it was scary 😭😭 We went to a cafe to eat brunch and catch up (spilled tea!!) of things we missed out on in each others lives in the past two years.

On Thursday, we had our first understanding broadcasting class. It was during the lecture that i felt so glad i did not pursue journalism or be part of the news anchor industry. WHY? because i don’t work well under pressure and i don’t like last minute impromptu things :/ Imagine mid reporting and the scripts got messed up and i didn’t prepare any back up plan for it 🥶🥶🥶 I won’t survive for real…

I had to skip my afternoon class because i needed to attend an award presentation for the company mom work at. There were so many people there which i did not expect. We were called up one by one to receive a certificate for getting admit to a University. They also announced the course we’re taking which i then found out that there’s so many people taking medicine related courses? SMART FOR REAL! Can’t be me… i can’t do anything related to science- Last semester i had to take psychology and i’m so SO glad i don’t have to take it anymore 🙏🏻🙏🏻

The rest of the week was nothing much, I went to work on Saturday then ate with my grandparents as an early chinese new year celebration with them since they won’t be around during CNY. On Sunday , me and my mom once again went to do some last minute CNY shopping. She bought these weird looking sugar cane, i think they look a bit like celery 😭 That’s basically how my week went!

—END—

[watchmegetobsessed]

WILDEST FANTASIES (part 1)

⚫️A/N: alright, i couldn't hold myself back any longer so HERE IT IS!!! i am so stoked for this story, i can't wait to read your reactions, im very nervous and excited and AHHH!!!

⚫️PAIRING: Professor!Harry X Reader

⚫️WARNING: sexual content

⚫️WORD COUNT: 6k

SERIES MASTERPOST

“Oh my God, are you still working on that assignment?”

Ramona, one of your roommates walks out of her bedroom with an empty mug and plate, her boyfriend’s hoodie is swallowing her slim figure, her hair in a not too picturesque messy bun on top of her head as she makes her way to the kitchen sink. You’re perched up on a stool at the small kitchen island, a blanket thrown over your shoulders as you stare at the practically empty document in front of you. Over the course of the last two hours you only typed your name and two whole lines out. So that’s basically nothing.

Groaning you let your head smash against the keyboard as Ramona washes her dishes.

“This is bullshit, Ram. I took this class because I thought it would be an easy few credits and I like writing, but now it’s totally kicking my ass!” you whine, sitting up and deleting the letters your forehead hit into the document. For a moment you think about leaving it there, even turning it in. It would definitely be better or at least more than what you could come up with.

Ramona dries her hands and turns to face you, folding her arms over her chest she leans against the counter chewing on her bottom lip.

“What do you have to write about, again?”

“I have to write the first chapter of the story I worked on throughout the semester. You know, the one I told you about.”

“The boy and the fish?” she cocks her head to the side.

“Yes. But it was easier to just theorize about it than to actually write it,” you sigh with a pained grimace, the empty document practically laughing at you on the screen of your laptop.

“Can’t you write about something else?”

“No, unfortunately I can’t. God, I’m regretting ever taking this class,” you growl, shutting your laptop, not able to take the mocking you’re getting from it right now.

“Oh come on, you surely don’t regret seeing Professor Sexy every week,” Ramona laughs teasing.

“Right now, I wish nasty things upon Professor Sexy,” you sigh, though the thought of him definitely chases your anger away a bit.

“I think about doing nasty things to him too,” she sighs dreamily and you gasp dramatically.

“Ramona! Does your boyfriend know you’re fantasizing about my Creative Writing professor?”

“Y/N, I’m convinced even Dean fantasizes about him!” she scoffs, making the both of us laugh.

Professor Harry Styles is definitely by far the hottest teacher on campus. But he would be the best-looking even if you took the students as well. Beside Creative Writing he teaches Language and Linguistics, International Fiction and your absolute favorite, the class women basically kill each other to get into: Women Writers.

He is nothing like the macho men in town that think they can get any woman they want. Because Professor Styles could actually get any woman he wants. With his six feet, fit figure, rocking several tattoos and probably even more under his oddly styled outfits, painted nails and many rings he sports every day, he surely has every women on campus wrapped around her fingers. Walking around you often catch conversations between girls, daydreaming about the professor and you can always relate to them, because you tend to do the same.

If any other male professor were to teach Women Writers, females in school would be rioting against it, but not when it comes to Professor Styles. The man is basically part of the females which kind of just adds to his unbearable sex appeal. You didn’t exclusively decide to take one of his classes just to stare at him for one and a half hours every week, but it’s definitely a plus.

“Alright, what do you have so far?” Ramona asks, grabbing a pack of crackers from the cupboards as she leans onto the kitchen island across from you. Opening your laptop again, the screen comes to life and you clear your throat.

“In all the seas, in all the world, there has never been a land quite like the isle of Eroda. Shaped unmistakably like a frown, it is home to an all but forgotten fishing village that has had perpetual cloud cover for as long as anyone can remember.”

You stop and look at Ramona who is waiting for you to continue, but there’s nothing else. This is all you could come up with in the past two hours. Pathetic.

“Go on,” she nods, popping a cracker into her mouth but you give her a tight-lipped smile.

“This is it. This is everything I have.”

“You’ve been sitting here for hours.”

“Thanks for making me feel so good about it!” you huff, pushing the laptop away so you can lay your head onto the counter in front of you.

“Sorry! I’m sorry. Okay, so… how long should it be?”

“At least ten pages,” you breathe out desperately.

“Shit,” she sighs, putting the crackers away. “I wish I could help, but you know my imagination is on the level of a brick.”

You snort at her comment, sitting up straight again to look at her. She gives you an apologetic smile just when the front door opens and your second and last roommate strides into the apartment. Kostas has one arm full of groceries as he kicks his shoes off and changes them to his cute slippers his mother sent him all the way from Greece in a care package along with all of his favorite Greek snacks that are still taking up half of a cupboard in the kitchen, but at least he shares them with all of you.

He beams at the two of you with his usual upbeat mood, but upon seeing the two of you his smile falls.

“What’s this sourness I’m tasting in here?” he asks as he joins you at the island, setting down his bag to unload.

“Y/N is trying to write her assignment for Professor Sexy,” Ramona files him in and his head snaps around right away.

“God, I always forget you have a class with him! He is too hot, I can’t think straight when I’m near him in the cafeteria.” He grabs his veggies and puts them to his shelf in the fridge before looking back at the two of you. “Not that anything I do is straight,” he adds, making you both laugh.

“You guys are not helping me with all the sexy talk about him, it just makes me want to write the story even less,” you sigh dramatically.

“Just… offer him to suck him off for an A,” Kostas shrugs and you roll your eyes at his suggestion, not even taking him seriously, though the thought of having Professor Styles down your throat… you shouldn’t even go there right now.

“I think he’s gotten some offers like that before,” Ramona scoffs, stuffing her hands into her hoodie’s pocket.

“Definitely,” Kostas agrees as he moves to the cupboards to put the pasta and canned food he bought away. “But the real question is, has he ever accepted the offer?”

“No way,” you shake your head, pulling your laptop back in front of you, disappointed that no words magically appeared in the document in the meantime.

“But he surely got tempted at least a few times,” Ramona muses.

“Who doesn’t get tempted when they get offered oral sex?” Kostas chimes in, finishing up with his groceries before he joins you on the other stool, taking a look at what you’ve got so far, but he grimaces at the very few lines typed out.

“It’s so dirty that maybe some of our teachers have thought about having sex with us, don’t you think?” Ramona smirks coyly and you know she is thinking about her Economics professor. She is known to have a crush on the man even though he is in his late forties and has two kids and a wife.

“When is Dean coming back to town? You need to get laid,” Kostas asks her, making you laugh.

“Shut up,” she rolls her eyes. “We make up for the loss on the phone,” she then adds smirking pleased with herself.

“Oh, we all know, Honey. The walls are not that thick,” Kostas replies and that evidently shuts her up, her cheeks and ears turning red. Dean lives alone, so they are usually at his place when they want to be alone, not putting you and Kostas through the trauma of having to hear them fuck here, but you’ve also heard them on the phone the other day and it made you wonder how good of a call girl Ramona would be if she ever needs extra cash…

“I wish I could just write something else,” you sigh, changing the topic from Ramona’s sex life as you purse your lips, staring at the screen.

“Do you have something you’d want to write about?” she asks, leaning onto her elbows on the counter top.

“The easiest thing to write would be definitely a steamy story about the professor,” you breathe out, half joking, half seriously.

“Oh, like a fanfiction?” Kostas’ eyes light up at the idea. “What would it be about?”

“Mmm,” you think, fingers lingering above the keyboard before you smile up at your roommates and start typing while saying the words out loud.

“The professor sat in his leather chair behind his desk, paper piles stacked neatly on top of it, his piercing green eyes boring into me as I stood at the door in my uniform…”

“Uniform?” Ramona questions.

“You know, like a… school girl uniform. Short skirt, white shirt that’s unbuttoned at the top, knee high socks,” you add and her eyes widen.

“Oh, nasty!” Kostas laughs, but he is clearly enjoying it.

“How can I help you?” He asked, his tongue slowly running over his lips, wetting them at the sight of me as I took a few steps into the office. I made sure to sway my hips more than usually, the movement definitely caught his eyes that roamed down the length of my body.”

The document is starting to fill up with your words, even though these shouldn’t be the ones taking up your mind.

“I was hoping to talk about my grade, Professor. Do you have a moment?”

You imitate a low, sexy voice and your roommates are drinking up your words as you go along with the story.

“Come on in,” he nodded and I closed the door behind me for some privacy.

“I know the grades are decided, but I was hoping there was something I could do to earn some extra points and get an A, what do you think?”

“Depends on how far you’re willing to go for those extra points,” he hummed as I walked closer to his desk, pushing some of the papers to the side so I could sit on it, my short skirt barely covering my ass, baring the whole length of my thigh. The professor’s gaze snapped down at my leg, taking his sweet time staring at the smooth skin. When his eyes returned to mine, they were dark and filled with lust, they almost made me launch at him over the desk.

“Holy shit, Y/N, do you secretly write erotica novels?” Kostas snaps, fanning himself with his hands as you shake your head chuckling.

“I just have a wild imagination.”

“Okay, now go on, I need to know the rest,” he urges you, so you return to the document in front of you.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do, Professor,” I said, running a hand down my throat and over my breasts that were pushed so tight against my shirt, the buttons were threatening to pop any moment.

“That’s a dangerous thing to say, Miss Y/L/N,” he answered, eyes following wherever my hand was going on my body. They stared as I undid the first button of my shirt, giving him an even better sight of my breasts, the red lacy bra I was wearing now peaked out from under the white fabric and I noticed a hitch in his breath as he leaned back in his seat. My eyes fluttered down to his crotch and I finally noticed the delicious bulge that was growing by the moment. He caught my wandering eyes, but didn’t say a word, just let me gawk at him as we stared at each other for a few silent moments.

“I like dangerous and risky things, Professor,” you told him, undoing another button on your shirt. At this point, you could just get rid of the whole thing, your chest was fully on display.

“For real, do you do porn behind our back?” Ramona gasps, making all three of you laugh.

“How do you think I’m paying rent?” you play along.

“Can you get me a few gigs? But only if I can choose my partner,” Kostas places a hand to your knee, most likely already fantasizing about who he wants to work with in the industry.

“Of course, of course,” you nod chuckling.

“Okay, you can’t leave us hanging. Go on!” Ramona urges and once again, you return to the document.

The professor stood from his chair, taking his time as he walked around the desk until he was standing in front of me. I was still sitting on the top, one foot on the ground, the other one hanging in the air, legs parted enough that I flashed him a peek of my matching red thong underneath my skirt. My hands were aching to get on him, but I wanted him to make the first move.

“In that case, I have a few ideas how we can settle this,” he growled lowly, one hand moving to his erection that was bursting through the seams of his pants. My mouth watered at the way he gripped himself, my pussy drenched just from the sight in front of me. I needed to be touched and it had to be by him. I was ready to give him anything he wanted from me.

“Don’t hold back on me, Professor,” I moaned, a hand moving down to between my legs to touch myself, desperate for the slightest friction, but just when I could finally help myself, he grabbed both my wrists and stepping between my legs he yanked me against him, kissing me hard, his tongue down my throat in a blink of the eyes. I could feel his cock pressed against my wet, slick pussy and—

Ramona’s phone starts buzzing in her pocket and it snaps all three of us out of my fantasy.

“Oh, it’s Dean. I have to take this,” she breathes out holding up the phone in her hands. “And I’m totally not gonna get him to do phone sex with me after what you just planted into my head,” she chuckles as she heads towards her bedroom before shutting the door behind her.

“I really hope Dean will be back next week, because her libido is absolutely off the charts,” Kostas huffs, making you chuckle as he stands from the stool. “Anyway, I hope this little erotica break brought inspiration to you to finish the actual assignment. I have to start on one as well, so I’ll lock myself up in my cave. Good luck, girl!” He sends you kisses as he disappears in his own room, leaving you alone.

Turning back to your laptop you see the story still there, you scroll up and run over it again. It’s hot and spicy, you can see it happening so clearly in your head. It would be a shame to just abandon it. Grabbing your laptop you leave your spot in the kitchen and go back to your bedroom. Turning on the fairy lights wrapped around the headboard of your bed, you make yourself comfortable on the mountain of pillows and put your headphones in to start some music in case Ramona gets a little too excited and loud in the room next door.

The story has definitely made you horny and you think of grabbing your trusty pink vibrator from under the mattress, but you’re aching to finish the story, so before helping on yourself, you get back to writing.

An hour later you have thousands of words worth of your wildest fantasies about your Creative Writing professor and how you’d want him to fuck you in his office. It’s dirty, kinky and definitely unlikely to ever happen. You’re convinced you’ll never be able to look him in the eyes like before, but at least he will never any of the shit you wrote into this piece.

Getting it off your chest actually brings you inspiration for the real assignment, so after saving the dirty story, you open a new document and start typing. An hour later you’re almost halfway done so at last you decide to stay up until you’re finished. It’s Sunday tomorrow, you can sleep for as long as you want and at least you’ll have it done and turned in.

It’s around two in the morning when you finally finish and give it one last read to correct any mistakes. You edit it, make sure it’s just the way you want it and then open the online site where you have to turn assignments in. You feel exhausted and half asleep as you get to the page where Professor Styles is expecting the assignments to be uploaded. You export it and watch as the loading bar fills up and the file appears as an attachment. You type your name into the text bar before clicking upload and shutting the laptop closed as soon as it’s sent. You put it aside and just doze off right away, pleased with the work you’ve done.

Creative Writing is your last class on Wednesdays, starting at four and ending at five thirty. After the weekend when you turned the assignment in, you end up almost being late, barely making it on time because your last class was dragged longer than it should have. The professor and the majority of the class is already in the room so you just sprint to your usual seat. When you look up you see that the professor is staring right at you and it makes you freeze in your spot, all blood rushing out of your head.

It’s not the kind of mindless staring when you’re just too deep in your thoughts to realize your eyes are boring into someone. No, he is looking at you with a purpose, and judging from the furrowed eyebrows and darkened eyes, this purpose is not too pleasant.

He starts the class on time and avoids looking at you for the rest of it, while you’re basically falling apart in your seat. Normally you enjoy these ninety minutes, it’s kind of the highlight of your week, but not today. This unsettling feeling in your guts keeps you on edge the whole time and you can’t wait to flee from this room.

The last twenty minutes feel like an eternity and when the professor finally dismisses everyone you’re basically the first one to jump to your feet. The tiny voice in the back of your mind is telling you to get out of here as fast as possible.

“Miss Y/L/N!” the professor’s voice stops you in your tracks and your stomach drops. “Would you mind staying for a few minutes?”

Slowly turning to face him, you’re met with the same bewildered, dark look in his eyes and you feel like a reindeer caught in headlights as you nod anxiously. So much for leaving right away.

You walk to the side so the students pass by you easily. The professor gathers his papers, obviously waiting for the crowd to leave before talking to you. By the time the last person wanders out of the room you’re basically a nervous wreck.

Your eyes venture to the clearly fuming man just a few feet away and you watch him grab a stack of paper from his pile, placing it onto the desk before his eyes flicker up to meet yours.

“Would you mind explaining what this is?”

Stepping closer you take a look at the document in front of you, it has your name on it and the first few lines of your assignment you turned in, but the rest is not the story about the boy and the fish. You nearly faint when you keep reading and realize what it is.

The professor sat in his leather chair behind his desk, paper piles stacked neatly on top of it, his piercing green eyes boring into me as I stood at the door in my uniform…

“Oh my God,” you choke out, grabbing the papers from the desk to see if it’s the whole thing, though you already know the answer to that.

For some terrible and fatal reason, you must have ended up uploading the wrong document when you were turning the assignment in so late. You were half asleep, just happy to be done with it and you didn’t double check if you’ve chosen the right file. The erotic, kinky piece you wrote about the professor and yourself is now lying in front of you, printed out and he has surely read it and the look on his face now makes perfect sense.

“Yeah, I had a similar reaction when I opened the file the other day,” he nods furiously and you genuinely wish that you would just drop dead right then and there.

“This is—It’s a mistake, professor. I-I didn’t mean to, this was—oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening,” you stammer, hands shaking as you avoid to look at him. This is undoubtedly the worst moment of your whole life and nothing will even come close to topping it. You’ll never be able to recover from this, you might even have to go to therapy, because you surely feel like you’ve lost your mind in this moment.

The professor sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he takes a moment to calm himself down. You can only imagine how awkward it is for him. He must be aware how good-looking he is and the effect he has on women. He’s been teaching here for years and you are surely not the first student to have a crush on him. There’s no way he is oblivious to all of this, but he probably never had to directly deal with it like now. He can’t control how other people feel about him or his look, but he should have never been put into the position where his professional work is crossed by some horny student’s wildest fantasies.

“Professor Styles, I am so sorry for this, it was all just a mistake. This was written as just a joke with my roommates, I never meant to use it or post it anywhere, I promise! I accidentally uploaded the wrong file, I swear my real assignment is nothing like this!”

All you can do is ramble about how sorry you are. Because you definitely are. You’ve never felt more embarrassed of yourself before and you’ll never live this down. But you have bigger things to worry about than your own haunting thoughts. What if he fails you for this stunt? Or worse, takes this to the dean and you get kicked out of school? You can definitely see it happen.

“I can only hope that it was just an honest mistake on your part,” he says when he finally speaks up.

“It was, absolutely, one hundred percent,” you nod eagerly.

“I’m not going to make a bigger deal out of this than it is. You’re lucky I’m the one it happened with, because I know some other professors would have taken it way more seriously. I’m willing to forget about it however if you promise not to be this careless in the future.”

“Learned my lesson, won’t happen again,” you shake your head, your heart hammering in your chest from the adrenaline.

“Great. Make sure to keep your… personal works separated from your school work. The assignment’s due date is tomorrow. I’ve already deleted your attachment from the system, but I think it’s better if you turn the real one in printed. I want your work on my desk by four pm tomorrow.”

“Understood,” you nod and hesitate whether you should place the printed copy of your shameful fiction back to the desk.

“Take it with you,” he tells you and you clutch it to your chest quickly.

“Again, I’m very sorry, professor. And thank you for… not punishing me for my reckless actions.”

Your eyes snap up right as you talk about punishing and for a split second you see something even darker in his eyes, but you’re not in the position to ponder about anything.

“I’ll see you next week, Miss Y/L/N,” he nods shortly before tearing his gaze away from you.

You sprint out of the room faster than ever and basically run the five blocks distance back to your apartment’s building. When you burst through the front door you find Kostas in the kitchen cooking and he gives you a questioning look upon seeing how shaken up you are.

“What? Were you chased home?” he asks as he keeps stirring something in the pot that smells absolutely delicious. Dropping your bag on your way you join him, still shaking from the encounter you just had with Professor Styles. Your mouth is dry so you grab a bottle of water from the fridge and chug down the whole thing at once.

“I fucked up. Big time,” you finally manage to speak up.

“You look like you just killed someone, what the fuck happened?”

“I wish I was the one to get killed,” you cry out, burying your face in your hands.

“Just tell me already!”

“Do you remember the dirty story I wrote when I was struggling with my assignment for Professor Styles?”

“Oh, your fanfiction! Of course!” he grins.

“I, uhh—I accidentally… I turned that in as my assignment.”

Kostas’ eyes go so wide for a moment you think they are gonna pop out. He opens his mouth several times, but closes it until he finally speaks up.

“Jesus, are you out of your mind?”

“It was an accident! I turned it in so late, I didn’t check if it was the right file!”

He stares back at you as if you really did just confess to killing someone and it’s the first time he seems speechless, that’s how you know you messed up really badly. Kostas always has a snarky, funny reply to everything, yet now he is just staring at you in silence and it’s worse as if he was dragging your ass for being so stupid.

Then he finally snaps out of his horror.

“Okay, alright. It’s not that bad, right? I mean, it wasn’t that bad what you wrote with us last night, it only went until the kiss.”

“I finished it later, wrote the whole thing,” you admit as you feel the panic rising inside you once again.

“Oh my God, Y/N, you have a death wish or something?”

“Thanks, you’re making me so good about it!” you snap back before dropping to the floor. Sitting you pull your knees to your chest as you lean against the cupboards underneath the counter. Kostas returns to the stove to check on the food while you question your whole existence.

“I’m sorry, but… it’s not like you can undo it now. Did he flip? Are you in trouble?”

“He was pissed. Like, so pissed, I’ve never seen the man like that. But surprisingly, I’m not in trouble. I just need to hand in my real assignment until tomorrow, but this time printed so I don’t fuck it up again.”

“Wow, he went soft on you, girl. He is an angel,” he huffs.

Rubbing your face with your hands you push yourself up from the floor, squaring your shoulders.

“I will never be able to look him in the eyes, Kostas. You have no idea what I wrote in that shit,” you shake your head vigorously.

“Can I read?” he peeks at you and you give him a hard look. “What? Just want to know how bad exactly it was!”

“I’m deleting the file. I wish I could burn my laptop, but I can’t afford a new one,” you growl, running a hand through your hair. “Anyway, I’ll go and make sure my real assignment is the best I can ever turn in. I’m surprised he is not failing me right away.”

The next day you leave earlier than your usual, dropping by the copy place near the campus to print your paper. You read it through three more times on your way just to make sure everything is decent and there’s no trace of your dirty fantasy in it.

You plan to drop by the professor’s office during your lunch break. Your two classes in the morning manage to take your attention away from the disaster that your life is, even if just for a few hours. But when you head to the building where Professor Styles’ office is, your nerves start to beat you up once again at the thought of having to face him.

You lied awake in your bed last night for a long time, thinking about it. He must think you’re crazy, like right off the bats kind of crazy, a maniac, almost like a stalker. It’s not like you wanted to use that story for anything, it would have rotted on your computer for eternity, probably getting deleted at some point. You had no plans to publish it or even just share with anyone, not even with Kostas or Ramona. They’ve heard enough of it and they surely don’t have to know the nasty things you fantasized about when you were alone.

His office’s door is closed, you see that from down the hallway. Taking several deep breaths you walk up and stop in front of it, staring at his name displayed on the wall next to the door. You can’t just dismiss how ironic it is, that your fantasy started similarly, though you are definitely not wearing the same outfit, your jeans and sweater covering most of your body unlike the uniform from the story.

At last you knock on the door, your heart hammering in your throat and you listen carefully for an answer that never comes. You knock again, hoping you just missed his voice, but you hear nothing again, so you decide to try to open the door, expecting it to be locked, but it opens. Just when you’re about to poke your head inside, a voice speaks up behind you.

“Are you looking for Harry? Oh, sorry, I mean Professor Styles.”

You recognize Professor Alvarez, she is teaching Modern American Literature, Drama and Poetry, Ramona had a class with her last semester. She is probably the youngest member of the department, barely thirty and she always looks her best, as if she just stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine. You’ve never been sure how she can afford designer clothes and the expensive car you’ve seen her drive around campus from the paycheck she earns from the university, not that it’s any of your business.

“Uh, yeah. I have to hand in my paper,” you nod clearing your throat.

“He just left minutes ago to get lunch. I’m sure he’ll be back shortly, wait for him,” she smiles at you warmly, brushing her long, almost black hair over her shoulders.

“Oh, no. I’ll just place it onto his desk, if that’s alright.”

“Sure, go ahead. Do you want me to tell him you were here?”

“No need. He’ll see my name on top,” you force a smile back and she just nods, walking away as you step into Professor Styles’ office.

It’s not your first time here, so you’re not surprised by the massive amount of books lining along the walls and piling even on the floor in the corner. His desk is a bit messy, an empty coffee mug is set on the side, his laptop open, but the screen is black. The walls are a nice olive color and they match great with the vintage looking rug that covers the hardwood flooring that can be found in many of the classrooms as well in this building.

Crossing the room you step to his desk and pulling your paper out of your bag, pinned together with a paper clip, you place it to the middle so he can’t miss it when he returns. Feeling like an intruder you are about to leave right away, but then something catches your eyes.

Peeking from under a smaller stack of papers, your name is written on top and you recognize the formatting of the document. All your blood rushes into your head as you pull it out without even thinking about it and your mouth hangs open when you see another copy of your little fantasy printed out.

It can’t be the one he showed you yesterday since he told you to take it with yourself. That means he had it printed at least twice and this copy is different from the other one you have at home. It has some lines highlighted.

“What the…” You can barely believe your eyes, but the marking runs through the whole thing. The neon yellow color appears quite a few times throughout the whole text. You start going over the lines that caught his attention.

“My mouth watered at the way he gripped himself, my pussy drenched just from the sight in front of me.”

“I begged to him, my knees bruising against the harsh bristles of the rub underneath me, but it was all worth it.”

“My hands wrapped around his thick, throbbing erection and my lips parted.”

“He took my erected nipple between his teeth, tugging on it just enough to make me whine.”

“He dragged the glistening tip across my soaking wet pussy, circling on my clit before he pushed the head inside, the rest following right after.”

“I screamed his name as his hand slapped against my ass over and over again, his hips pounding into me.”

And there was many more. All through the whole thing, he highlighted parts that got dirtier as the story evolved.

You flip through it again as if you were afraid this was just a game your imagination played with you. But the more you stare at the papers in your hands the more evident it’s becoming that it’s there and you’re not just hallucinating.

It doesn’t make sense, it was very clear he had nothing to do with it, he said he deleted your attachment from the site as well, but if that was the case, why does he have another copy that’s been evidently read thoroughly?

A laughter echoes outside of the room and you realize that you shouldn’t be here and definitely shouldn’t be snooping around your professor’s desk. You need to leave before he gets back so you don’t have to face him.

You’re about to stuff the dirty document back into the stack when something unfamiliar washes over you. A sudden urge of confidence and hunger for dominance after the embarrassment you went through yesterday, you want to give him a hint that he was busted.

So instead of making it look like you didn’t touch anything, you lay both your assignments to the table neatly next to each other, your dirty fiction of him and your real work you were supposed to turn in. When he’ll look at the desk it’ll be obvious that you did it and that’s exactly the message you want to leave behind.

Taking one last look at the setup you can’t help but feel excited and riled up as you walk out of his office and leave before he gets back to see your little surprise.

NEXT PART

Thank you for reading! Please like and reblog if you enjoyed!

[chrizbang]

Pairing: Bang Chan x female reader, ft. Han Jisung

Genre: smut, a little bit of angst

Warnings: mature content, partying, drinking, kissing, unprotected sex, oral sex, lowkey fuckboy!Chan

Word count: 8.038

Summary: You had to do a project for the last semester in college before your vacation. Not only you had to deal with the stress of doing it right, but you also had to deal with the stupid crush you had on Bang Chan.

"Felix, I'm not going to kiss Chan"

"Everyone, pay attention here, please," your teacher said. Slowly, everyone stopped with the side talk and paid attention to her. "For your last project of the semester, I decided that we are going to learn about different cultures." She got up from her table and went in the direction of the board. "Remember when I asked you guys to send me the names of your groups? Basically, I'm going to draw random countries for each group. I want you guys to do a study aboout the differences of said countries, based on a theme that you are going to choose.”

She started writing on the board.

“The theme must be something creative. If it is not creative, your project is going to lose points, okay?" she said enthusiastically.

She started to draw the countries for each group. Your group was formed by basically you and Felix. Felix became your friend after the first day of class but you felt like he was your friend since forever. "I want this project by the end of the month, so..." she looked at the little calendar on her table. "You guys have three weeks. Any doubts?" Some people raised their hands but you weren't paying attention anymore, you were writing down the countries that you had to work with: Australia, Germany, Spain and, Korea. You had no idea what to do for your project. Your teacher was very clear: it had to be creative. Creativity wasn't your thing. "Okay, guys, class dismissed," your teacher announced. Everyone started to get up and leave but you sat there, trying really hard to think on a theme. "Hey, we have to go," Felix said. "What are we going to do?" "We have plenty of time to think about it, Y/N." Felix grabbed your backpack and started to put your stuff inside of it. "Three weeks is not plenty of time, Felix." "Okay, what's your idea, then?" "I don't know, that's why I'm asking you, dumbass." Felix rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand, dragging you out of the classroom. "How about we do a project about the foods of each country?" "Hm, that's interesting." You took your backpack from his hands to grab a little notebook to write down the ideas. "But I don't think is creative enough." Felix sat at the bench at the corner of the hall. "What if we did the differences in the skin texture of each country?" Felix looked at you and saw the pout on your face. "Too much?" You simply nodded. You sat down next to him, already tired from all the thinking. "You know what would be funny?" you grinned. "What?" "If we made a project about the way that people from each country kiss and the differences from each one." "Y/N, that's it!" Felix got up, excited. "Felix, I was joking." "No, this is a great idea. It's creative! There are students from different countries in our college, so we can totally do it!" "As far as I know, there's only one german student here. Are you going to kiss him?" You stood in front of him, arms crossed. "You are going to kiss him." Felix looked at you like what he was saying was obvious. "Felix!" "Look, we have four countries. I can kiss two people and you kiss two people. It's not going to be hard." "You know what? I'm going home. I'm going to think about a better theme." "You know you can't," Felix shouted while you left. Felix was right, this idea was the best one. It was creative and bold, but kissing random people was the hard part. Not that you didn't like to kiss, but you were used to kissing people at parties, people that you would kiss while you were drunk and you knew that you would never see them again. Not people from your college where you would have to see them every day. "Hi, Jisung," you said while you opened the door of your apartment. Your roommate was laying down on the couch, playing video games. "Hey," he greeted you. You lifted his legs so you could sit on the couch, putting his legs on your lap. "Are you okay?" he asked, noticing your expression. "Ugh, I have this stupid project to make," you whined, throwing your head back and closing your eyes, letting the frustration take over your body. "Do you wanna talk about it?" "No." Your phone rang, you grabbed it only to see that it was Felix calling you. "Hey, Felix." "What's up Feliiix," Jisung screamed. "Hi Jisung,” he yelled, making you pull the phone away from your ear. “Y/N, can you come to my apartment today?" "Nope. No, I can't." "Why? Do you have something to do?" Felix asked. "I don't want to. You know why." "Y/N, you have to get over the crush you have on Chan one day." "I don't have a crush on him, Felix. He just makes me...uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, in a weird way. I don't know how to explain." "Y/N, he's not even here now. Besides, we have to work on the details for our project," Felix insisted. "Why don't you come to my apartment?" "Because every time I go there we can never get anything done because of Jisung. Please? Please, Y/N." "Fine," you sighed. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." "Are you going to get pretty for Channie?" Felix teased. "Shut the fuck up." You turned off your phone and went to your room. The truth is: you did have a crush on Chan. Chan was handsome, funny, he had a great body and a great personality. He was also a fuckboy. You can't remember the number of times that you saw him with different girls in their apartment, one prettier than the other. Eventually, you stopped going to their apartment because you never knew how to behave like a normal human being around him and, seeing him with pretty girls wasn't helping. You took a quick shower and dressed in simple clothes, you didn't want Felix teasing you. While walking through the campus in the direction of their apartment, you kept trying to calm yourself. It has been a while since you saw Chan, so you were excited, even though you were trying to convince yourself that you weren't. Felix said that he wasn't home, so there was no reason for you to be nervous. You stopped in front of their door and took a deep breath. You knocked and it took a moment before Felix answered. "Hey, Y/N," Felix screamed, giving you a hug. "Don't act like we didn't see each other a few hours ago." You entered their apartment. The structure was the same for all the apartments on the campus, but each one had its own piece of decoration. Surprisingly enough, Felix and Chan's apartment had a great decoration and was super clean. "So... let's go to your room." "Are you sure that you don't want to work in the living room?" Felix asked. "I'm sure," you said, already going in the direction of his room. Felix laughed. He knew you were trying to avoid Chan. You sat on Felix's bed with your notebook in your hands, ready to take notes. "Look," Felix said, sitting in front of you. "I know that you don't want to use kissing as a theme, but..." Felix raised his hand when he saw your expression, trying to explain himself. "It is the perfect theme, Y/N. We are not going to find something as creative and daring as this. And this is important for our grades, we are not doing very well on this subject, remember?" Felix tilted his head. You know he was right. "Fine, you are not going to leave me alone, are you?" "Nope." Felix got up from the bed and grabbed his notebook on his table, to show you some annotations. "So, we have to find people from Australia, Germany, Spain, and Korea. We already know the german student, don't worry, I'll talk to him so you can kiss him." Felix wrote down something in his notebook and continued. "There's a spanish girl in Chan's class, I'm gonna ask him to help me out." The simple mention of Chan's name made you feel butterflies in your stomach. "For korean, I thought about the possibility of..." Felix hesitated and looked at you. "No." "Come on, Y/N." "I am not going to kiss Jisung, Felix." "Fine, I'll look for a korean girl somewhere." "There's probably someone in our college." "The problem is someone australian. Don't get me wrong, I love you and you are gorgeous. But I'm not going to kiss you." "I don't want to kiss you either, Felix." "Felix." You heard Chan calling, startling you. "I'm in my room," Felix yelled. Chan opened the door of Felix's room. You looked at your notebook to pretend that you were occupied. Chan and Felix talked about ordering food for dinner or something. "Y/N," Chan said when he noticed you, making you instantly look in his direction. "Long time no see." He had a stupid cocky smile on his face. His sweet voice made you swallow hard. "H-hi, Chan." Of course, you had to stutter. "You can stay for dinner if you want," Chan offered before leaving the room. "So cute," Felix whispered, looking at your red face. "I have to go," you said, gathering your stuff. "But Chan invited you for dinner, Y/N," Felix teased you. "Bye, Felix." "Okay, let me walk you to the door." Luckily, Chan was occupied in the kitchen so he didn't see you leave. "Text me once you get there, okay?" Felix said. "Okay, bye." You kept thinking about the little interaction with Chan on your way home. He dyed his hair since the last time you saw him. Instead of blonde, it was now black. Both colors suited him so much. He was wearing a black sweatshirt and some jeans, the most basic clothes ever and he looked breathtaking. You hated how you were head over heels for him, you felt like a teenager. It was so silly. Days went by and you had a lot of work from college. Felix already worked on his part and managed to kiss the spanish girl from Chan’s class. Something made you feel like kissing wasn't the only thing he did, but you didn't want to know the details. Some students were planning a party and Chan invited Felix, who invited you. "I don't know, I have so much to do," you whined. "Can I go?" Jisung asked, stuffing some food in his mouth. "Of course," Felix said. "Y/N, that's exactly why you should go." He said that while holding some of the papers that were on the couch while you worked on your homework. "You need to ease your mind from all the stress from school." "He's right," Jisung agreed. "She's so grumpy lately because of college." "Shut up, Jisung,” you whined. "Okay, fine. But only if you help finish this," you told Felix. "Fine." The party was on a tuesday night, Felix would go with Chan so you asked Jisung to take you. "Looking good," Jisung stated, eyeing you up and down as he entered your room. You were putting your earrings on. You decided that since you would have all the work to go to a party, you had to a least look good. So you were wearing a leather skirt with a white long-sleeved blouse that showed some cleavage. "Thanks, Jisung. Are you ready?" "Yeah. Let's go." The party wasn't far away from your dorm so you were able to go walking. It was 9 pm, so leaving Jisung with you made you feel safer. Jisung was the type of person who was outgoing, he talked a lot and made you laugh all the time. Along the way, he talked about college and his classes. He studied music production and he seemed really passionate about it. You thought it was cute how his eyes glowed while he talked about his classes. It was funny because Chan also studied music production, but he was from a different classroom. Some minutes later, you were at the place of the party. You had no idea whose house was that, but you completely forgot about it once you were inside. The first thing you saw was Chan, but he was too occupied to see you. He was kissing a girl. She was gorgeous, with long blonde hair, and a tight red dress that accentuated her curves. You were sure that Chan enjoyed that dress by the way his hands ran over her body, stopping at her ass to grab it. "I'm gonna look for Felix," you whispered to Jisung. You found Felix standing next to a table where people were playing beer pong. "Y/N," he yelled when he saw you. He ran in your direction, giving you a tight hug that made you realize that he was probably, already, a little drunk. "Hi," you said with a sad voice. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. It's not important." "If it's not important, why are you making that face?" He held your face with his hands, looking right into your eyes. "Felix, I don't wanna talk about it, not now." You looked in the direction of the table. "Can I play?" "Sure," Felix shrugged. You played beer pong with Felix and some unknown people and eventually, you started to feel dizzy. "I'm going to use the bathroom," you said, stumbling on some drunk people while you tried to leave. You went to the second floor, looking from door to door when you finally saw the bathroom one. However, when you got closer, you realized that there was someone inside of it. And they weren't alone. You could hear the sound of skin slapping against skin and muffled moans. You widened your eyes, feeling embarrassed by witnessing people having sex. When you turned around to leave, you heard the girl moaning "fuck Chan, harder." You could hear Chan groaning while he fucked her.

You swallowed hard and left. There was another bathroom on the first floor which you found eventually. Once you were inside, you sat on the toilet and cried. You had this stupid crush on Chan for so long and look at you. Crying in the bathroom while he fucked a girl in another bathroom. You stayed there for a while, feeling sorry for yourself until you got fed up. It was time to get over him. You cleaned your tears and got up to go back to the party. You looked around for Felix but couldn't find him anywhere. "Y/N," you looked in the direction of the person calling you and saw Jisung enthusiastically waving at you. He was standing in the middle of the living room where people were dancing. "Hey," you half yelled since the song was loud. "Are enjoying the party?" "Not really." You really wanted to leave, you didn't feel like staying at that party, and you especially didn't feel like dancing. That's when you looked around and saw Chan at the corner of the living room, talking to Felix. You saw that he had his eyes on you. Like he would always do, looking at you like he was checking you out but without it being obvious. You clenched your fists, you were tired of Chan teasing you. You had an idea and you didn't even stop to think about it. You grabbed Jisung's face and kissed him. It was a weird kiss at first, the smell of alcohol exhaling in the air. Jisung's lips were soft but eager, he held onto your waist, getting your body closer to his. He wasted no time before shoving his tongue inside of your mouth, taking you by surprise. You kissed him for a while but you stopped the moment you felt him rubbing his boner on you. You lightly pushed him by his shoulders.

"I have to go," you said, leaving the room. Jisung stayed there, looking at you, without knowing how to react. You decided that you had to leave. You were confused, upset, angry and a little horny, thanks to Jisung. You started to walk in the direction of the gates of the house when you heard somebody calling your name. "Y/N, wait!" You sighed and turned around. The last thing you needed was to talk to Chan. "What do you want?" you roared. "Are you leaving?" "Yes. I'm going home." He looked like he was angry at something, but you simply shrugged. "Let me take you home. It's way too late for you to be walking alone," he said in a serious tone. "I don't need your help, Chan." You turned around to leave when he grabbed your arm. "This was not a suggestion. I'm taking you home," he growled. You pulled your arm from his hands but didn't fight. Chan walked with you to your apartment quietly. Not a word was said until he stopped in front of your dorm. "Thanks," you said, looking at the floor. "So, Jisung, huh?. I didn't expect that." "I'm sorry?" You raised your head, looking at him. "How long have you been dating him?" he asked. He really looked like something was bothering him, clenching his jaw and crossing his arms. You felt like he was fighting with you for doing something wrong. "T-that's none of your business. Goodnight, Chan," you remarked. You went in the direction of your door and stopped. You were so angry at him, you couldn't stop the words from coming out of your mouth. "Where's the girl you were fucking in the bathroom? You should be worried about her." Chan widened his eyes and smiled. You wanted to punch that stupid smile out of his face. "Are you jealous?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. "Fuck off." You unlocked the door and went inside. You lay down on your bed and closed your eyes. It didn't take long for you to sleep since you were exhausted. You couldn't say that you had a good night of sleep though, you woke up with a hangover and headache. Still, you had class first thing in the morning so you had to go. You took a shower and got dressed up when you remembered what happened to Jisung. You were not ready to face the consequences of your actions, so you tried to leave without seeing him. You were sitting in your class, trying to pay attention when Felix arrived. "Hey," he said, sitting by your side. "Hey," you whined. "I have good news. There was a german girl at the party last night, so I did your job for you." "Yay," you said without any enthusiasm. "Aaand, since you kissed Jisung, you have the korean part. There's only Australia missing." "Haven't you kissed any girls when you lived in Australia?" you interrogated him. "I did, but I'm australian. I think it would be better from the perspective of someone who isn't, you know?" You sighed. When you started to pack your stuff to leave after the class was over, you groaned. "What is it, Y/N?" Felix asked. "I have to go home." "And?" "I kissed Jisung, Felix." "Was it that bad?" Felix tilted his head, not understanding your point. "That's not the point. He's my roommate and my friend, that's weird." "Well, unless you are planning to move somewhere else, you'll have to talk to him." You groaned again, throwing your head back. You went home thinking about what exactly you would tell Jisung. You always thought that Jisung was an attractive guy and you would be lying if you said you never took a look at his body when he would walk around shirtless. There was even that one time where he brought a girl home, they tried to stay quiet but you could hear them fucking. That turned you on so much that you had to touch yourself. Still, Jisung was your friend and kissing your friends was not something that you usually did. When you got home, you looked around for Jisung. You heard some noises in his room. You knocked at the door and he stayed silent for a while. "Come in," he said. "Hey," you purred when you opened the door. "I think I need to talk." "Yeah, I think we should." "Sorry for kissing you last night, that was a stupid thing to do," you stumbled on your words, barely giving yourself time to breathe. "Y/N," Jisung raised his hand. "It's okay. You are a good kisser." "Thanks. I guess."

"I have to admit that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was thinking..." Jisung hesitated for a moment, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.

"Why don't we do it again?" he suggested.

You bit your lips. You had to admit that that's not what you were expecting from him.

You sat at the edge of his bed, getting closer to him.

"Jisung, I... I kissed you because I wanted Chan to notice me, maybe get him jealous." Saying it out loud made you realize how childish and silly that was, you couldn't help but to feel embarrassed.

"Y/N, I don't care. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me," he laughed.

Jisung sat by your side.

"What do you think about being friends with benefits?"

He watched your reaction. You had a confused expression on your face, trying to understand his words.

"When was the last time that you had sex?" he asked.

"I don't know. Eight months ago?"

"See? It's been a while for me, too. Besides, you can even use me to make Chan jealous, if you want."

"Are you listening to yourself, Jisung?"

"Yes. We can still be friends, no feelings involved. Think about it."

Jisung got up from the bed and walked in the direction of the door.

"Ji-jisung."

He turned around to look at you. "Yes?"

"I want it."

Felix, 5:35 pm: Hey 

Felix, 5:35 pm: Did you write your dissertation about the korean part?

Y/N, 5:38 pm: I did

Y/N, 5:38 pm: Even though I don't think it's really useful since I was drunk

Felix, 5:40 pm: You should kiss Jisung again then, lol

Y/N, 5:41 pm: Maybe I will ;)

Felix, 5:42 pm: Y/N??? You nasty little b

Felix, 5:43 pm: Send it to me, please.

Y/N, 5:45 pm: Okay.

Y/N, 5:45 pm: Hey, are going to do something tomorrow?

Felix, 5:48 pm: No, why?

Y/N, 5:49 pm: Let's go to the movies. There's that horror movie that we wanted to watch in the theaters.

Felix, 5:51 pm: Sure!

Y/N, 5:52 pm: Can I bring Jisung?

Felix, 5:52 pm: Yes

Felix, 5:54 pm: But don't you dare to make me feel like the third wheel.

Jisung didn't even know that you had plans with him that afternoon. But you wanted to spend time with him, to ensure the "friends" part of your negotiation. After accepting to be friends with benefits, he didn't talk about it anymore. You thought that he would kiss you again or something, but no, he went to the kitchen to make some mac and cheese for dinner and then went to sleep.

"Jisung," you said, knocking on his door. You know that if he was silent he was probably taking a nap.

"What?" he asked, in an annoyed voice.

"Can I come in?"

"Ugh, no, I'm sleeping."

You entered the room anyway. You swallowed hard when you saw that he was laying on his stomach, shirtless. His back was exposed for you to see. It was not the first time that you saw him like that, but it was the first time since you kissed him.

"Get up, we are going to the theater."

"We?" he asked, looking at you.

"Yes, you, me and, Felix."

"Aww," he whined. "I thought it would be a cute date."

Jisung winked at you with a cocky smile on his face.

"Shut up. You have ten minutes to get dressed."

You agreed with Felix to meet him at the movie theater, so you left with Jisung on an Uber.

When you arrived at the movie theater, you could see Felix at the line to buy the tickets, but he wasn't alone.

"Felix?" you asked when you got closer to him.

"Hey!" he said. "I hope you don't mind Chan coming with us. He insisted that he wanted to come. Like really."

"Hi, Y/N," Chan purred, smiling at you. He then looked a Jisung.

"Jisung," he said in a low voice. His face looked serious, it didn't look like he was happy to see Jisung there.

Chan looked back at you. “I hope you don’t mind if Felix and I accompany your date with your little friend with benefits.”

You didn’t have time for a reaction since Felix pulled you to buy your tickets and some popcorn and headed to the movie. The mood was heavy, Jisung walked around with his arm around your neck all the time and you saw Chan looking at you with an upset expression. Was he jealous? You didn't know.

You sat by Jisung's side on the theater and Felix sat by your side, but after talking about something with Chan, they switched places.

Chan's leg touched yours and you felt your heart dancing in your chest. Why couldn't you get over him? You held Jisung's hand, trying to distract yourself. You were not giving Chan what he wanted.

With the corner of your eye, you would see Chan watching you sometimes. But you avoided looking back at him at any cost.

Jisung would whisper some things in your ear during the movie, making you giggle.

Suddenly, you felt Chan moving next to you. He stretched out for a moment, but he left his arm on your chair, next to your shoulders. You swallowed hard and rolled your eyes. Would you be lying if you said you didn't like the sudden attention you were getting from Chan? Yes, you would. But you felt confused and angry. Chan was acting jealous out of nowhere, to the point where you started to feel guilty, while you had to deal with the countless times where you saw him with other girls. Still, you never acted like a jealous teenager around him, so yeah, you were not giving in. The movie ended and all you wanted to do was to leave the theater. Jisung was by your side all the time, walking with you in front of Chan and Felix. "Let's go home, darling," Jisung purred, after giving you a peck on the cheeks. You could tell that he was loving to tease Chan. You said goodbye to Felix, and, reluctantly, to Chan and left with Jisung. When you got home you sat on the couch, still thinking about everything that was happening. Jisung sat by your side, almost sitting on your lap. "Ouch," you whined. "Sorry. What is up with Chan? He looked really angry at me today." "I don't know and I don't care," you shrugged. "Come on, Y/N. I think he has a crush on you and got all mad now that you have a man." "Oh, I have a man?" you looked at Jisung with an amused expression. "Well, we are friends with benefits, remember?" Jisung laid his head on your shoulder while his hand grabbed your thigh. "I almost forgot since you didn't say anything about it anymore." Jisung's thumb drew patterns on your skin while he talked. "Well, I wanted to give you space, you know? To get used to it." "Awn, you are so sweet." "I am, baby." You looked at Jisung, who was also looking at you. Slowly, you got closer to him until your lips touched. Now that you were sober, it wasn't so weird to kiss him. He was very eager, but not in a bad way. He played with your tongue while he guided the kiss, holding your head with his hand. Suddenly, he grabbed your waist, making you sit on his lap. He kept on kissing you, running his hands through your body. You started to grind on his boner, just to tease him a little. Jisung held hard on your waist, pulling you closer to him, so you would grind harder on him. You couldn't hold the little whine that left your lips when you felt his hard dick against your clit. "Take this off," he whispered, helping you to take off your t-shirt. He didn't waste time, grabbing your boobs and pulling your bra down. he licked one of your nipples while he played with the other.  You moaned loud, rocking your hips on his cock. Jisung started to kiss your neck, working to take his belt off. He opened his pants and freed his dick. "Are you on the pill?" he asked. "Yes." Your skirt was already raised, exposing your wet panties. He pulled your panties to the side and held your waist, helping you out so you could slide on his dick. You whined when you felt him stretching you out. You started to ride his dick at a fast pace, not giving your pussy time to adjust. "Fuck, Y/N," Jisung moaned. "I'm not gonna last long if you keep it like that." "Play with my clit, I'm close," you whined. He rubbed his thumb against your clit while you sat on his dick. After a little while, you came, kissing him on the lips. Quickly, you got off his lap and got on your knees. You grabbed his dick and started pumping and sucking it. Jisung came, moaning loud, filling your mouth up with his hot cum. You swallowed it and looked at him with an innocent face. "That's fucking hot," he whined. "Y/N, we need to finish our project," Felix said. You were sitting in the cafeteria. You had only one week before you had to deliver the project and Felix was starting to panic. "I know, I'm still looking for a guy who is from Australia that's not you." "You know a guy that's Australian and it's not me." "Felix, I'm not going to kiss Chan," you grumped. "Why not?" You turned around to see Chan standing behind you, with that cocky smile that he always had on his face. He sat on the table by your side. "Felix told me about your project. Why are not going to kiss me? Is your little boyfriend going to stay mad?" he teased. "You know that Jisung it's not my boyfrie-," you stopped once you noticed that you were explaining yourself. You cleaned your throat. "I don't owe you any explanation, Chan. And Felix, you really need to stop exposing my life to him."

Felix frowned.

"Come on, Y/N. You would rather fail than to kiss me?" he asked, tilting his head and looking at you, using a soft voice. You hated how he made you feel butterflies in your stomach by the way he looked at you. You hated how he looked so good with that stupid sweatshirt and his messy hair, making you think that he was probably late for college today. Probably because he was fucking some hot girl the night before. "I'm n-not gonna fail. I'll kiss Felix if I have to." You got up and left, going home. Felix called your name but you kept walking. In your college, there were a lot of foreign students, but not many australians, from what you knew. You knew that were no way that Felix would kiss you, so you had to do something. You were looking on Tinder, trying to find what you needed when Felix messaged you asking for you to go to his house. He said that you needed to at least finish to write the project, even if Australia was missing. You went to his apartment, ready to be angry at Chan, but you soon learned that he wasn't there. You and Felix did what you had to do and by the end of it, you were both mentally exhausted. "How come just writing something can be so tiring?" Felix asked, throwing himself on the couch. "Probably because we are both very stupid," you stated. "That must be it. I'm kind of hungry but we don't have anything to eat. I think I’m going to the supermarket to buy us something, okay?" "Okay. I'm gonna review our work while you are there." You were sitting there, doing your job for about ten minutes when you heard the door opening. "Already?" you asked. "Y/N?" "Oh, Chan. I thought it was Felix." you sighed. "Sorry to disappoint." Chan went to his room and stayed there for a while. You found it strange that he didn't come to tease you. "Y/N, can you come to my room for a moment?" "I'm busy." You felt your palms sweating. Was he really inviting you to stay alone, in his room, with him? "Please? It's going to be really quick, I need to show you something."

You wanted to say no, you really did. But you went to his room anyway. Chan closed the door when you were inside and told you to sit on the chair next to the table. He had his notebook turned on. "Put this on," he said, handing you his earphones. Chan played a song. It had a smooth melody, with soft lyrics. The person singing had a sweet voice. The lyrics talked about feelings and liking someone. It was short, about a minute and a half. "Do you like it?" Chan asked, with expectation shining on his eyes. "Yes, it's beautiful." He leaned on the edge of the table next to you. "Well, I wrote it and produced it. I also recorded it," he said with a smile on his face, but this time it wasn't a cocky one, he looked satisfied. "Oh, are you the one singing?" "Yes." "I didn't know you could sing." Chan played with his fingers and looked down. You have never seen him like that before. He looked hesitant, almost nervous. "Y/N, I-" "Hello?" Felix opened Chan's door. "Y/N, I was looking for you. We need to finish our project." Chan didn't say anything, he just left the room. "I hope I'm not interrupting something," Felix added. You shrugged and went to the living room with him. You finished all you needed about your project and went home. You looked for Jisung, until you found him in his room. "Can I come in?" you timidly asked when you opened the door. "Of course." You ran to his bed, getting under the covers with him. He was sitting down with his back against the headboard, he looked like he was studying. "I don't want to bother you, Jisung." "That's fine. What's up?" he directed his attention to you. "I'm so confused." "About what?" "About Chan." Jisung laughed. "Tell me about it." "Today he showed a song that he wrote. It was about love and stuff. And he has been acting all jealous. I don't know how to feel about it." "You really like him, don't you?" You sighed. "Jisung, I don't think we should be friends with benefits anymore." "It's okay, Y/N. Can we still be friends?" "Of course!" you hugged him, resting your head against his chest. "I'm gonna miss the sex though," he teased. "Jisung!" "Just kidding, baby." Y/N, 9:45 pm: Felix Y/N, 9:45 pm: We have one day before our project is due Y/N, 9:45 pm: I'm gonna ask you something Felix, 9:58 pm: Y/N I DON'T WANT TO KISS YOU Y/N, 9:59 pm: It's not that, dumbass Y/N, 9:59 pm: I need you to ask Chan if he will kiss me Y/N, 10:00 pm: But I want to make it clear that this is strictly professional Felix, 10:02 pm: Okay, I'm gonna talk to him You had no other choice anymore. You couldn't afford to have a bad grade so yeah, you were going to kiss Bang Chan. Felix said that you would have to go to their apartment. You already started to feel nervous. When you arrived, Chan opened the door for you. "Where's Felix?"" you asked. You were holding tight on the sleeve of your blouse. You walked past Chan while you entered their apartment and you felt your legs going weak when you smelled his cologne. He smelled so good. "He said that he wanted to give us privacy," he answered. You frowned, that was typical of him. "Look, I'm only doing this because I need to, okay? We don't have much time anymore and we really need to finish this project." Chan got closer to you, looking into your eyes. You wanted to run away. "Okay," he said. You stayed there looking for each other. You didn't know what to do. "A-are you going to kiss me?" you asked. Chan smirked. "I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous," he admitted. "You? Nervous?" "Yeah." "Chan, please. I've seen you kissing a bunch of girls a lot of times and you've never looked like you were nervous." "Yeah, but they were not you." Chan's words danced in your ears. "That's not funny." "What?" he asked. "It's not fun to play with someone's feeling like that." "I'm not playing with your feelings, Y/N. I'm serious." Chan touched your chin, making you feel shivers down your spine. One little touch and he had you on the palm of his hand. "I've known for a long time that you had a crush on me." You felt your cheeks burning. "I've always thought that you were amazing. Gorgeous, funny, smart. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you. But when I saw you kissing Jisung... I don't know. I felt so bad. I think I was used to having you around." Chan's hand that was on your chin ran to your cheek, holding the side of your face. "C-chan," you whispered. Chan shortened the distance between your bodies and kissed you. By the moment where his lips touched yours, you knew for sure that you would get addicted to it. His plump lips were soft and warm, welcoming yours like a tight hug. His other hand grabbed your waist, getting you closer to him. It was so soft and sweet, not something that you would expect from him. You held onto his neck, touching him to make sure you weren't dreaming. You wanted more. You slid your tongue in his mouth, deepening the kiss. Your hand ran through his chest until it reached the end of his shirt. You put your hand under his shirt, feeling his abs. "Y/N," Chan said. "Please," you whispered against his lips. You weren't thinking straight anymore. Chan's lips started to go down until they reached your neck. He sucked on it, making you whimper. "Are you sure about it? We don't have to do anything if you don't want to," he asked, looking right into your eyes. "I want to." Chan held your hand and took you to his room. He told you to lay on his bed. You never thought that this would happen one day. He laid down next to you, facing you. "We don't have to do anything, Y/N." He smiled, the stupid dimples making his face look cuter than ever. "We can just talk, maybe kiss and-" "Chan. I want you to fuck me." You were begging. You were begging for that cock like a little bitch and you were not embarrassed. Chan widened his eyes and swallowed hard. "Okay, okay," he giggled. He got on his knees and took his shirt off. You have never seen him shirtless and you were pretty much pleased by what you saw. You wanted to kiss every inch of his pale skin. Chan got on top of you. He kissed you, exploring your lips. You were wearing a dress that was quickly on the floor of his room. "Fuck," Chan groaned when he saw you only in lingerie. You saw the boner on his pants and licked your lips. You pushed him on the bed and got on top of him. You helped him so he could take off his pants and underwear. His dick was marvelous. Above average, thick, pink tip and veiny. You didn't waste time, you grabbed it and started to lick the head. Chan moaned, closing his eyes. You twirled your tongue around it while you pumped it with your hand. You sucked hard on the tip and Chan moaned again. You tried to go down on it as much as could, which wasn't much since deepthroating wasn't your specialty, but you guessed that Chan was enjoying it by the sounds he was making. Chan grabbed your head and stopped you. "Lay down, baby girl," he demanded. He opened the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed and grabbed a condom but he didn't put it on yet. Instead, he took off your lingerie and got between your legs. He slowly kissed your belly, going down your body. He bit the inside of your thighs, leaving marks behind. He finally went where you wanted him to. He licked your pussy lips, making you whine. He teased you, going from penetrating you with his tongue to licking your clit. You were moaning and whimpering, feeling your orgasm approaching. "Chan, please," you moaned. He started to finger you while he licked your clit. It was too much for you and you came on his mouth. Chan kept licking you until you couldn't take it anymore because of the overstimulation. He took the condom, slid it on his dick and, pumped it a few times. He kissed you, making you taste your own juices. He finally started to slide himself into you, slowly. You whined, feeling him stretching your pussy. "Fuck, baby. So fucking good," he whimpered. When he was fully inside, he gave you a deep kiss. He kissed you for a while, giving you time to get used to him inside of you. "C-chan," you moaned. He started to move, pounding into you at a slow and deep pace. You could feel every inch of him inside of you and you loved it. Chan's moaning was driving you crazy. "So good, baby," he said in your ear. His low voice went straight to your folds, getting you wetter. He kept it slow and intimate, rubbing his pelvis against your clit. "Chan, I'm g-gonna cum." "Cum for me, baby girl." You came again, feeling your legs shaking. Chan kept fucking you until he felt his high approaching. "Ah, fuck, baby," he whined when he came, thrusting deep inside of you. Chan lay down by your side. He took the condom off and threw it in the trash bin next to his bed.

He hugged you, making you lay on his chest. You stayed quiet, listening to his heartbeat, no words were needed. Chan played with your hair, his warm arms making you feel safe. Suddenly, your stomach growled. "Somebody's hungry," Chan teased. He started to move so he could get up. "No!" you whined. "I'm gonna get something for you to eat, baby," he giggled. You let go of him and Chan got up from the bed. He put on his underwear and went to the kitchen. You decided to put your clothes on. Some minutes later Chan came back. He widened his eyes when he saw you with your dress back on. "Are you leaving?" he asked, worried. "No, I just wanted to put it back on. Unless you want me to leave." "Of course not!" Chan sat by your side on the bed, he brought a plate with a sandwich and a cup of orange juice. "Here," he handed it to you. You ate while Chan talked about the songs he was producing. It was interesting to hear even though you had no understanding about the subject. "It's getting late. I'm gonna get dressed so I can take you home, okay?" he said. "You don't have to, Chan." "But I want to." Chan walked you to your apartment. He stayed with you in front of your dorm for a while, kissing and hugging you like he didn't want to let you go. Reluctantly, he went back home. When you went inside, you were surprised to see Felix sitting on the couch with Jisung, playing video games. "Wow, finally," he said. "That was a long kiss," Jisung teased. He didn't sound bitter, it really looked like he was being funny, which made you feel relieved. You sat between them, laying your head on Felix's shoulder. "I had sex with him." "Too much information," Jisung said. They laughed. "It's not funny, guys." "What's wrong, Y/N?" Felix asked. "Isn't that good? You've had a crush on him since forever." "Yeah, but what if I gave him what he wanted?" You got up from the couch, frustrated. "He had sex with me, so he will probably run for the next girl to fuck." "Y/N, I'm pretty sure he's head over hills for you," Jisung said. "I'm going to my room." Later that night you finished your project with Felix. It was due soon, so you were relieved but disappointed in yourself. You let yourself go so easily. You didn't want to feel like that, but you couldn't help it. You were feeling insecure. It wasn't just sex to you, you really felt a connection with Chan. But did he feel the same? What if he just acted as he liked you so he could fuck you? Claim you as his so he could show dominance against Jisung? You didn't know. The day to deliver the project finally arrived. You were relieved that it was finally done and the semester was almost over too. Soon you would be on vacation from college. When you were leaving the classroom, you saw Chan waiting for you outside. "Hey," he said when you got closer. "Hi." He hugged and kissed your cheek. "Wow, right in front of me, disgusting," Felix said. "Can I have your phone number?" Chan asked. "I thought of asking Felix, but I wanted to ask you in person. I also wanted to see you." "Yeah. Of course." "Hey, guys. I love both of you, but you are not going to make me the third wheel," Felix said, standing between you and Chan and intertwining his arms with yours and with Chan's. It was the last day of class. You and Felix got a 9 out of 10 on your project. Felix thought it deserved more but you were just happy that you did well. Your teacher said that she was impressed by the theme you chose. She loved how bold it was and it was exactly the type of stuff that she wanted. You laughed about the way Felix got excited because she complimented your project.

You were sitting in the cafeteria with Jisung, Felix and, Chan. At first, the idea of Chan and Jisung together made you uncomfortable, but they seemed to get along, so you were satisfied. Jisung also thought it would be better if he moved in with Felix so Chan could live in the dorm with you, which Chan promptly accepted. You went home with Chan, talking about your plans for your vacation and how you could spend time together. You ate and watched some TV, but you were really tired. Chan laid down on the couch and you laid on top of him, resting your face on his chest. You loved to stay with him like this, feeling the warmth of his body. You just stayed there with your eyes closed and feeling his perfume. Chan's phone rang and quickly answered, he didn't know that you were awake and he didn't want it to bother you. You heard him talking to some guy, he was inviting Chan to a party. "Thanks for inviting me, mate, but I'll have to decline," he said, almost whispering. "I'm with my girlfriend and I want to spend the day with her." You smiled. Chan was what you always wanted and you finally had it, and he also had you.

A/N: This is a long ass fanfic, I tried to proofread it but it might still have some grammatical errors. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

[unwrittenlibrary]

Fine Line

Summary: There’s a fine line between love and hate and you’re not too sure which side you’re on with Harry anymore. Part Two to What Kind of Man 

Words: 5.0k

Warnings: I said this in the first part & will repeat it. This is purely fictional. This in no way reflects how I feel Harry would handle this situation in reality. I’m really using Harry as a character. DO NOT READ THIS if you feel the situation of cheating and staying together will impact you strongly or offend you. That is not what I want when reading my story. 

Notes: I urge those uncomfortable with cheating to avoid this. I also urge those who dislike this kind of writing to avoid. I came up with this story at a point in my life where my parents were divorcing, I was going through a break up and was lost. I’ve decided to finish this story because I put so much effort into it for it to end unfinished feels wrong. I can’t speak for anybody and how they would handle this situation. 

Thank you for 1000 followers. That is crazy! 

-

You’ve got my devotion. 

But man, I can hate you sometimes.

...

You sunshine, you temptress.

My hands at risk I fold.

-

April. 

The first two sessions had gone by in relative silence. You weren’t sure what to say to answer the therapists questions. You weren’t sure you even wanted to talk at all. 

“Y/N.” You look up startled out of your thoughts. “Do you feel like talking today?” Her eyes are kind and understanding. Her degrees hang behind her head and you zone in on them. Dr. Walsh had been the only therapist who could take you on in April. Any others that you called had informed you their next opening for new patients wasn’t until the end of May. 

You supposed it could have been worse. So far, Dr. Walsh had come across as kind and understanding of your hesitance. She had never forced you to talk and had only tried to get you involved on your own accord. 

“What would we talk about?” You ask instead of ignoring in silence like you had the past two sessions. You can see Harry turn his head to look at you out of the corner of your eye, but you remained focused on the two degrees hanging behind Dr. Walsh’s head. 

UCLA. “What year did you graduate?” You ask before she can answer your original question. “From UCLA.” 

“We can talk about whatever you want. How you two met. Your kids.” You raise an eyebrow and she smiles. “1996.” 

“I thought we were supposed to talk about our issues. Why would we talk about our kids or how we met?” You answer her question. You can tell Harry’s eyes are moving back and forth between the two of you, like he’s unsure if he should get involved in the conversation. 

Dr. Walsh shakes her head. “Sometimes the best place to start is with what makes you two happy. You’re here to work on your relationship, right?” 

The two of you nod. “Then I’m not worried about starting with the most painful part of your relationship. I want to learn about it. If I can learn about your relationship then I have more knowledge on how to help you repair it, if that’s what you want.” 

“Okay.” You agree. You feel some of your tenseness fade away. You were here for a reason. “We went to UCLA too.” 

She nods. “You did? Were you studying the same thing? Is that how you two met?” 

You look down at your fidgeting hands and let out a laugh. “Not quite. I was a creative writing major and Harry was political science. We met in a World History course our sophomore. It was a general requirement class.” 

“Yeah.” Harry nods as if the memory is coming back to him. “Professor Ward.” 

“Mind if I sit here?” You look up and your breath hitches. He was handsome. That was your first thought. Bright eyes and a sweet smile that could take anyone’s breath away. 

You nod hastily. “Yeah. It’s all yours.” You move your notebook over so he has a bit more room on his half of the table.

“Thanks.” He drops his books on the table and flops down into the chair. “Harry.” He reaches a hand towards you and you meet him halfway. 

You offer your name up easily and his smile brightens. “What brings you into a World history course?” He asks quietly as the last bit of students rush into the few seats left up front. 

You smile. “Creative writing majors have to take one broad history course before focusing on any history of writing courses. Ward’s class was the only one with openings that didn’t start at eight.” 

“Creative writing. That’s cool.” Harry’s spinning the pen in between his fingers. “You want to be a writer?” 

You smile nervously and nod. “That’s the goal. What brings you to Ward’s World History?” 

Harry laughs softly. “I’m a political science major, this is just a required gen ed.” 

“Political science. What’s your plan with that? Am I sitting next to a future senator?” You give him a teasing smile. 

“Lawyer.” 

You shrug, “Senators have to start somewhere.” The professor comes in and that halts the conversation from going anywhere else. As Professor Ward goes over the syllabus you see a piece of paper slide across the table towards you. You look over at Harry, but he’s looking ahead with a smirk on his face. 

You unfold the paper and there is a number written in messy handwriting taking up the small page. 

“Bold.” You whisper to him and he shrugs. “I can tell we’re gonna be good friends.” He whispers back. 

“So you both liked each other right away?” You look up as you're dragged out of the memory of meeting Harry. 

“Yeah.” You breathe out. “I think so.” 

“Definitely.” Harry agrees. “I’m lucky I was running late that day. The seat next to her was the only good seat left. Plus, she helped edit all my essays. I was a shit writer before her.” 

You smile softly at the memory. “Y/N?”  You look up and Dr. Walsh is watching you closely. 

“That class sucked.” You can’t help but let out a laugh. “We had so many essays. He’s right, he was a shit writer before me.” 

You finally spare a look over at Harry and he’s watching you with soft eyes. “That was our first semester of sophomore year. We were attached at the hip after that.” You look back down at your hands. 

“Did you guys start dating right away?” She asks.

“Pretty much. We started dating right before winter break.”  Harry answers for the both of you. 

She nods as she eyes the clock on the wall. “Does that memory still make you happy?”

You nod. Your memories hadn’t been ruined. But that didn’t really mean anything when you could barely be in the same room as Harry now. “Of course. But… Things are different. We’re not twenty-somethings with no responsibility. We’re parents. Partners. We’re supposed to have each other’s back. And now it feels like we don’t.” 

Harry looks over at Dr. Walsh as she studies you. She was obviously taking in your words and processing a response to them. “I think the biggest question you need to find the answer to is, do you want to fix this marriage?” She finally says looking pointedly at the distance between you two. 

You pause and mull over her question. “Can we fix it?” You ask quietly. 

She shrugs. “I can’t answer that for you. It’s my job to help you find the answer, not give it to you. What I can tell you is; Sometimes people walk out of this with a new appreciation and love. Sometimes people realize it can’t be fixed. Nothing is wrong with either, it’s just up to you two to figure out which one it is.” 

You look over at Harry and find him watching you with hopeful eyes. You knew he wanted to and felt like you both could fix this. 

But you weren’t sure. “I don’t know.” 

-

The drive home is silent for the most part. Music playing softly from the radio as you stare out the passenger side window. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Harry says as he pulls the car into the driveway. He puts it into park but doesn’t turn it off so the music is still playing as he turns to look at you. 

Gemma’s car was parked behind your own. You see the curtain move slightly which is a telltale sign that a child was peeking out the window. It quickly falls back into place when your eye catches Serena’s. 

You shake your head and look back down at your lap. “What is there to say?” 

Harry shuts his eyes and you see his grip on the steering wheel tighten. “I want to fix this. I’m trying. Do you want to fix this?” 

You let out a humorless laugh. “Don’t try and guilt me, Harry. I didn’t cheat, you did. This… This mess isn’t my fault and it shouldn’t be my job to fix it.” 

“I’m not trying to guilt-“ He cuts himself off and takes a deep breath. “That was a shitty thing to say. I know. I just want to know if we’re gonna make it through this. If you think we have a chance.” 

You look over at him with watery eyes. “I don’t know. All I can think about is you fucking another woman while I was home with our kids. Telling them that you were just busy. That we would have dinner tomorrow. Or maybe the next day.” 

Harry flinches like you’ve hit him. You turn away but don’t stop talking. “I know a month may not seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things. We’ve been together for seventeen years, so what’s a month?” You laugh humorlessly. “But how long have we been distant? How long have you been staying late and missing dinners?” 

“I don’t know.” Harry whispers and you see him clench his eyes in an attempt to stop tears from falling.

“It’s been months, Harry.” You look around the yard. Your and Persephone’s plants needed maintenance. “We had Jack and then everything changed. We stopped date nights. Family game nights faded from existence. We stopped having sex. I… I don’t know what happened.” 

Harry doesn’t say anything so you sigh. “I’m trying, Harry. It may not seem like it to you, but I’m trying.” You unbuckle yourself and move to get out of the car. 

Harry reaches out and wraps his hand gently around your wrist. “I know.” He stresses the word. “I know you are.” 

You nod and the two of you just watch each other for a moment. You break away from him first. “I’m sure the kids are peeking out the window. We’ve been out here long enough.” 

The both of you climb out of the car silently. The door flies open by the time you reach the second step of your front porch. 

“Mama!” Oliver comes flying out towards you. “Mama. Never leave us again. Baby Jack is crazy.” He grips you tight and you laugh, the tension immediately leaving your body as you hug him back. 

Gemma comes to stand in the entrance with Jack on her hip. She gives you a weak smile and you smile back. “Come on, I’m sure Aunt Gem is dying to go home after watching you crazy lot for two hours.” 

Gemma leaves quickly handing Jack off to Harry and giving you and Harry both kisses on the cheek. “Let me know about spring break, Y/N!” She calls as she rushes out your front door. 

“Spring break?” Harry asks as he bounces Jack in his arms. 

“We’ll talk about it later.” You say sparing a glance down to Oliver, who’s still attached to your leg. Harry nods before moving towards the living room. Oliver follows behind him and you’re left in the front hall alone. 

You take a deep breath before following them. 

-

Harry sleeps in the guest room. You can’t bring yourself to allow him back into the room you two shared. 

His clothes remain in his half of the closet though and his toiletries had remained in place on the bathroom counter, so you saw him every night before going to sleep. 

Dr. Walsh had suggested the two of you used this time to try and reconnect. “You don’t have to sleep in the same bed yet. It’s completely normal for you to need time apart, Y/N. But I do want you two to talk before bed every night, I know you have four kids and it may be your only true alone time to reconnect emotionally before you ever do anything physically, even just sleep.” She had offered at the end of your session after you had admitted you weren’t sure how you felt about Harry and your relationship now. “This is a good way to figure out if you can still see yourself together.” 

You loved him. You didn’t need her to help you answer that question. He was the father of your children. You had over a decade of amazing times together. But you couldn’t look at him without your chest aching. 

“What was Gemma talking about spring break?” Harry sits on the lounge chair you two had placed in the corner of your room. Jack’s bassinet used to be next to it, but he had recently moved into his own room. 

You sit on the end of your bed with your arms crossed over your chest. “Olly has been asking if we could go to Disney World. I was talking to her about maybe surprising him and Serena for their birthday since it falls during the kids break this year.” 

“That sounds really nice.” Harry smiles and you nod. “I’m sure the four of them would love it. I can put in for the week tomorrow. I have a bunch of paid time off I need to use up.” 

You look up at him with wide eyes. “You want to go? We haven’t been on vacation since the beach trip before Jack was born.”

Harry’s face turns stoic. “Of course I want to go. I told you I was going to spend more time with guys.” He walks towards the dresser you have pushed against the wall. “Here, pull your laptop out, let's book this now so we can get a good room.” 

You gape at him. It had only been an idea you were considering for the twins birthday. Although, it was coming up and you were running out of time to make a decision. 

“Are you sure you can get the time off?” You ask instead of listening to his direction. 

Harry nods resolutely. “Can I?” He points next to you and you nod. You lean over to your nightstand, where you had left the computer the night before while writing. 

You push it open. “I’m gonna go get Persephone.” You stand up and hand the laptop to Harry. “She can help plan some stuff with us, so we know what these young kids want.” You give Harry a weak smile and he nods. 

You shake your hands out as you make your way down the hall towards your eldest daughter’s room. You knock softly on the door, “Seph?” 

“Come in.” She calls and you push the door open. She’s got her show paused and is curled into her comforter. “What’s up, mom?” 

“Can you help your dad and I with something?” You ask hesitantly. “I know it’s late, it’ll be quick.” 

Persephone gives you the same dimpled smile Harry has, “Of course. I was gonna be up binge watching this show anyways.” She unwraps herself from the blanket and grabs her phone before following you back to your bedroom. 

“Hey, lovebug.” Harry gives her your favorite smile. One he’s somehow reserved solely for you children. Soft and bright while his eyes shine proudly. 

“Hi, daddy.” She plops herself down next to him and rests her head on his shoulder. He presses a kiss to her forehead and the smile that spreads across Persephone’s face is contagious. 

You take a seat next to her, so she is squished in between the two of you. “You know how Olly has been asking about Disney?” You ask quietly. You and Harry had put the twins down an hour ago, but Oliver was known to sneak away from his room for a cuddle with you. 

She nods instead of verbally answering and Harry pulls up the booking website. “Your mom had the great idea to surprise the twins for their birthday.” 

“Really?” Seph asks excitedly. Your family trips usually consisted of beaches or visiting grandparents. The last time you had been to Disney was when it was just the three of you. You weren’t sure she could even remember most of the trip. 

You bump her shoulder softly with an excited grin. “Really. Jack is old enough that he can get probably through a day there without screaming his head off. Aunt Gem said that she could come to help watch him so you three can have fun.” 

“That sounds awesome!” She lifts her head from Harry’s shoulder and looks at you happily. “What did you need my help with?” 

“Picking out where to stay. You guys are the focus of the trip so we want you to stay where you want to, not us.” You gently take the laptop from Harry and place it in her hands. “So tell us your top three and then dad and I will pick from there so you still get to enjoy some of the surprise aspect.” 

She scrolls through the website for a few minutes while the three of you sit there quietly. You glance over at Harry hesitantly. He’s looking down at your daughter with bright eyes. 

You quickly look away when his eyes move up to meet yours. “Okay. I added the three I liked the most to your favorites! Did you guys need anything else?” 

You both shake your head. “Just keep this a secret. It’s going to be a surprise.” You smile excitedly at your eldest. She had grown so much, but seeing the childlike shine of excitement in her eyes brought you a bounty of joy. She was still your baby. 

Persephone nods before handing the laptop back over to Harry. She presses a kiss to both your and his cheeks before hopping up and making her way towards your door. 

You give her a confused smile when she pauses and turns back around to face you again. She takes in a nervous breath before speaking. 

“It’s really good to be all together again.” The words are quiet and fearful. “Um. I love you guys. Goodnight.” She turns on her heel and bolts out the room and back down the hall. 

You gnaw on the inside of your cheek and look down at your lap. “I’m sorry.” Harry whispers. His tone is similar to her’s. Quiet and full of fear. “I love you all. I know I hurt you, but you are all my world. Those kids are what I’m most proudest of.” 

“I know.” You look over at his lap. His hands curled tightly around the laptop still open in his lap. “I never doubted how much they meant to you Harry. I know how much you love those kids.” 

You want to reach out and pull his hand into yours. Something you usually did when Harry was scared or nervous. But you kept your hand firmly planted in your lap, unable to give him that forgiveness. 

“I was never afraid of you not loving them. I was-“ You stop unsure of what to say. What were you afraid of? “I was afraid that I had given so much and you still wouldn’t have chosen me.” 

Harry looks over at you with sad eyes and you let out a humorless laugh. “Harry, I’ve never regretted having Persephone so young. I’ve never regretted being home. But, I just want you to show that… that you appreciate me.” 

“I do appreciate you.” Harry says quietly. “I’m so sorry I’ve made you feel like I don’t.” He places the laptop in the empty space in between you. You watch as he works through what to say, his tension clear in his eyes. 

“But…” He trails off like he’s still unsure of what to say. “I’m here. I want to be here. I want to show you that I appreciate you.” Harry takes a deep breath and places a hesitant hand on your back. “As long as you’ll have me.” 

You take a deep breath. “Let’s focus on this... I want the twins to have a great birthday and for Seph to have a great spring break. Things have been tough for them too. We can figure the other stuff out later.” 

Harry doesn’t say anything, just nods and pulls the laptop back towards him. You can tell he wants to though. That he wants to talk this out and get in deep.

You just can’t bring yourself to do it. 

-

“A family vacation can be very cathartic for couples struggling.” Dr. Walsh gives the two of you a kind smile after you reveal what you had planned for your kids. “But, it can also bring about stress at being in such a small space for such a long time. Especially when you’re still struggling to communicate.” 

“I’m really trying.” You say quietly, on edge at the idea of you and Harry bringing about any stress on a trip meant to be for your kids. “We both are. I think.” 

“I know.” She gives you an understanding look. “You guys do your homework. You said it yourself, your nightly conversations aren’t painful anymore. But talking about small things is only the beginning of strengthening your communication.” 

“So you want us to talk about the affair?” You ask. “The big thing.” 

She shakes her head. “Eventually. Sweeping it under the rug or ignoring it can only cause more tension. But there are other things I’m sure you want to talk about as well.” 

“Like what?” Harry asks. He glances over at you before looking back at Dr. Walsh. 

“Anything either of you felt was an issue.” She explains. “Big or small. Anything you think contributed to your distance. Try to remember, you’re not placing blame.”

“Not even for the affair?” Harry sighs and you shut your eyes. “How can I not place blame? That’s not my fault.” 

“No.” She agrees. “I’ve never agreed with placing blame for something like that on the victim. Do you want to start with talking about it?” 

“No.” You shake your head. “I just wanted to make sure we’re not finding all these so-called small issues so we can then excuse the cheating. I won’t do that.” You say disdainfully. 

“We don’t expect you to.” She glances over at Harry. He looks pained but he nods in agreement. “Of course not.” He says quietly. 

You take a deep breath in before nodding. “Okay, then where do we start?” 

“A lot of times, affairs feel like they come out of nowhere. They do.” She gives you an assuaging look. “But it’s also important to remember that there were issues before it and they’re still there to be worked through. We want to work through the big problem, but oftentimes couples work through that but not other things and end up separating.” 

You nod and take a deep breath trying to think through issues. Things had felt perfect during your pregnancy with Jack. 

You were excited, a fourth child and it was a boy, you and Harry had been hoping for another boy. Harry had even planned the small family vacation to the beach so you could enjoy time together as a family of five before it became six. 

“We argued.” You say quietly. The family vacation slips from your mind as your exhausted tears come to your memory. “Um. I had Jack and I was exhausted and we argued. It was barely even an argument.” 

“He still won’t eat?” Harry asks, coming into the bedroom. He was still in his suit from court and you feel angry heat flush through you at how put together he looked. How well rested and up he looked. 

You shake your head silently. Harry seems to not notice your tense jaw as he pushes his way into the closet to find clothes for the night. You turn to look down at Jack laying restlessly in your arms. Tears rush to your eyes as you stand and place Jack in his bassinet and finally get a look at yourself in the mirror hanging next to the closet door. 

You hadn’t showered since Persephone had left earlier the previous day and after running around to get the twins settled with Gemma and taking care of the baby all day you felt tense and gross. 

Harry comes out and smiles kindly as he watches you step towards the ensuite. “Can you watch him for a moment? I need a shower. I feel gross and it’ll help me relax. My nurse said getting tense makes it harder to breastfeed.” 

Harry looks down at his watch. “Something more important?” You ask before he can get a word out. “No. Just- I was supposed to hop on a conference call with Jeff, I’ll reschedule.” Harry tries to change the tone of the conversation, but you’ve already seen red. “Y/N, go shower.” 

“I’m sorry.” You say instead of moving. “I didn’t mean to inconvenience you with your child for half an hour.” You know you don’t mean the harsh words and that you’ll probably regret them all after you’ve taken a break but- “I’m home all day with him, but fuck if I ask you to watch him so I can shower.” 

Harry’s eyes widen at the cold tone. He crosses his arms defensively across his chest as he takes a step back from you, even though he was already several feet away. “I never said I was inconvenienced. You asked a question and I answered honestly. I don’t have a problem spending time with my own child, Y/N.” 

Your turn on your heel and stock into the ensuite and slam the door shut behind you. You hear Jack begin to fuss more and Harry’s whispers as he presumably picks the baby up. There wasn’t a time in the fifteen years you’ve had children that you’ve ever thought Harry didn’t want to spend time with his kids. You still didn’t. But the exhaustion and stress that you felt with Jack was unlike anything you’d felt before and Harry hadn’t seemed to notice. 

“It felt like you weren’t paying attention.” You say quietly. “It felt like you had no idea what was going on.” Dr. Walsh trains her eyes on you as Harry’s eyes flick around trying to figure out what argument you were talking about. 

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. Jack is curled in your arms as he eats and a weight has been lifted off your shoulder. You feel shameful at the words that had slipped out in an attempt to make Harry notice how upset you were. “I know you’re not inconvenienced by our kids.” 

Harry turns his head to look at you. He had been silently typing out emails as you fed Jack, upset but refusing to leave your side. “What’s wrong?” He asks as he slams the laptop shut. 

You want to tell him. How stressed and anxious you felt. How much tougher being with Jack was than any of your other children. How insecure it made you feel. You should tell him.

But. 

“How could I tell you all that and not sound like I’m angry at our child? Not sound like an awful mother?” You choke on the words. 

Harry stares at you with what looks like pity and you turn away. You didn’t want pity. You wanted help. You wanted him to understand. “You don’t sound like a horrible mother. You sound tired.” 

“What stopped you from telling him this?” Dr. Walsh prompts gently as you and Harry fall into silence. Her eyes flicker to Harry as he watches you with the same sad eyes. 

You shrug. “I just wanted him to notice. I wanted to feel like he still noticed me.” You let out a breath. “We love Jack, but Jack wasn’t exactly planned. We weren’t sure if we wanted a fourth and had only just begun talking about it. When I found out I was pregnant and figured out how excited I felt, I knew I wanted to keep him.” You explain to the therapist carefully. “We decided that we wanted him, but he would be our last one.”

You think of the doctors appointments and heavy warnings that a fourth pregnancy could wreck havoc on your body. 

“But I’m not twenty-three anymore and the pregnancy was really tough on me. And Harry knew. So he took care of the kids when I couldn’t and he planned vacations for me before I gave birth and it-” You breath catches. “It felt like you didn’t care anymore once I had him because I wasn’t in danger anymore. But Jack is stubborn and I was struggling.” 

Harry takes in a shaky breath and reaches out to steady your trembling hands. 

It’s a start. You guess. 

-

“I didn’t realize how tough Jack was on you.” Harry says quietly that night. You had been dreading sitting in the awkward silence. 

You shrug. “Babies are tough. Persephone was tough because we were so young. Serena and Oliver were tough because they were twins.” Your baby monitor makes a sound and you glance over to see Jack stretching his arms. 

You sigh and stand up. “Jack was… Jack was tough in a way I wasn’t expecting. Maybe it was because I had four kids all of the sudden or because you started working more. I was exhausted all the time.” 

You leave before he can say anything in response, but you know he’ll follow you to Jack’s room. You push the door open quietly and hear Jack’s soft giggles. 

“Hello, handsome.” You whisper as he looks up at you. “What’s got you awake?” 

You pick him up gently and bring him over to the rocking chair placed in the corner of the room. Harry leans against the door jam. 

You rock back and forth with Jack in your arms and Harry watched with gentle eyes. You look up as Harry begins to speak quietly. “I wish I could take everything back. Just… Redo this past year.” 

You look down at Jack and run a gentle finger over his cheek. “You can’t. You don’t get redos in real life.” 

The room is silent as you rock your baby back to sleep and Harry watches. 

-

We’ll be a fine line.

-

Notes: Title song Fine Line. This is really a filler for the next piece, I needed April to get to May :/

A few things; I have them staying together written. While this has been my plan since I begun writing this part & the next, if it’s something people wanted, I could do two different endings.

Like I said, I wrote this at a low place for me and had always imagined it as some type of closure that I never got from my parents situation or from my ex. Cheaters suck. But, some people do work through it. Some people can’t. That’s the beauty of our autonomy, we decide. I got a lot (and I mean a lot) of messages urging me to be mindful of impressionable people who may read this piece & with that I want to say; Your situation is not this one. Some cheaters will always be cheaters. This is not in anyway trying to convince you that a toxic relationship is okay. Or that cheating is okay. Please remember this is fiction and not meant to do anything other than entertain you! This is a piece I wrote & a piece whose ending I choose. Thank you for reading. I love every single person who read What Kind of Man and thought, I want more of this person’s writing.

(please do not be mean to me, I write for fun & am very emotional thank u)

[secretsbehindthenine]

✨Ninjavember 2021✨

It's Ninja o'clock, people!

Thanks to slowly falling back into the fandom and finishing my fall semester of college early, I've decided to host this year's Ninjavember! The last Ninjavember was AGES ago (2018, if I recall correctly), and I haven't seen anyone try to revive it with a new set of prompts since then. So, since I've always wanted to participate but never got around to doing it because I was busy with other stuff (like school work or original writing projects), why not take matters into my own hands and bring it back?

Inspired by @ninja-o-clock and @zelig-shaine and their Ninjavember calendars, I made my own calendar of daily prompts for your writing/drawing pleasure. Each day, you can to choose between one of two prompts. Or combine the prompts into one. It's up to you! Just remember that you don't have to do every single prompt listed here; only if you have the time and energy for it! This is just a means for us fans to have fun and show off our creative sides.

If you decide to participate, please tag me in your posts! I would love, love, love to see what you guys come up with for every prompt. :D Also, don't forget to tag your pieces as #ninjavember2021 so that others can check out your posts too!

Without further ado, here are the prompts:

Day 1: I am the Ninja / Same Mask, Different Hero

Day 2: Anime / Manga

Day 3: Music / Video Games

Day 4: Magic / Science

Day 5: Slang / Memes

Day 6: Nerdballs / Cool dela Cool

Day 7: Scarf / Hoodie

Day 8: Seasonal / Elemental

Day 9: The Norisu Nine / The NinjaNomicon

Day 10: Norrisville / Flackville

Day 11: Land of Shadows / Another Dark Realm

Day 12: Monster / Robot

Day 13: In the Zone / Living in Shooblivion

Day 14: Conceal / Reveal

Day 15: Free Day

Day 16: AU / Crossover

Day 17: OC / Backgrounder

Day 18: Thing They Hold Most Dear / Power of One's Choosing

Day 19: Lesson / Weapon

Day 20: Chaos Pearl / Eye of Eternities

Day 21: Chicken / Carp

Day 22: Class is in Session / School's Out

Day 23: Language / Culture

Day 24: Tradition / Celebration

Day 25: Friends / Family

Day 26: Love / Hate

Day 27: Ally / Enemy

Day 28: First Meetings / Last Goodbyes

Day 29: Writing History / Righting the Present

Day 30: The Final Battle / The Next Chapter

{ Tagging those who showed interest in my initial post about this: @ninja-queen-studios @mybestplacerightnow @reneelaicecreamxx @vancyschmancy @stupid-intrests @notnights @buffy }