#and for letting me record him doing it lol

[kimcheekies]

perv skz headcanons bc like i lowkey love perv skz

warnings: smut minors dni pls.. protect ur eyes from me whoring out lol cuz we get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 (sex innuendoes and perversion, sex videos, sex dreams, groping, cnc touching, stalking, unconsensual sex etc. yay)

okay now i've always been like into the perv stray kids trope like stays i've seen on tumblr writes it so well so i probably won't match up to that but at least this is like.. my idea of what they might be like if they were yk? anyways let's go.

방찬 ~ bang chan ~ sex audios or sex innuendos

okay so like i imagine chan to be like kind of deliberate about his advances like he outright does perv on you but does it in a way where you just chalk it up to flirting

his flirts are usually very forward, saying things like "what if i dated you?" or "if i was your boyfriend, i wouldn't let you go from my arms," "you know i'd be so good to you, baby girl.."

he's always been close to you, acting almost like a mentor to you through your trainee days and helping you out with music production, or managing your group and you've always been thankful for his kindess- knowing that just makes him feel a little guilty and shameful when he fucks his fleshlight in his bedroom, pretending its you.

knowing that you think of him in such a high regard and hold him so close to you in terms of friendship makes him feel even more guiltier when he listens to the audio recordings he got of you moaning and whimpering while you slept, the squelching of his hands stroking himself acting as harmony to your sweet sounds.

but those are his most prized possessions.. you won't ever get to hear them until you're his.

이민호 ~ lee minho ~ looking up your skirt or eyeing clothing

minho is more subtle about his flirts when it comes to you because with the boys like with jisung or hyunjin for example, he'll be outright jaw-dropping flirty but with you? it's like he's the dorky kid at school again.

but when you ask him to help you with getting the choreography of an upcoming special stage you've got coming up, his hands on your waist when you ask him to help you with a move, your pretty lips parted to take a breath, your ass brushing up against his front- he literally ditches you and runs to the bathroom to jerk himself off.

but when he comes back and sees you bending down to pick up your things since clearly without him the rehearsal was over, he’s quick to pin you up against the wall and press his raging boner into you with a groan

finally he can run his hands along your sides, one groping the curve of your ass and the one pulling up the flaps of your skirt to reveal white lace panties- the same ones he jerked himself off with when he was at your dorm?

“please.. please just let me fuck you- i need help, you’re on my mind 24/7 and i need to get you out.” he whispers, begging against your ear in a needy tone as his fingers rub into the wet spot of your folds leaking through the flimsy fabric.

서창빈 - seo changbin ~ helping you work out

changbin’s your best friend so of course after constant annoyance and inherent begging and fussing from him for you to go to the private gym with him- you give up.

he’s doing his pre workout gains but he literally almost drops the dumbbells he was curling with when he sees you; pretty lips in a concentrated puffed out pout, boobs so tight inside that compression shirt they’re begging to be popped out, curves accentuated by the thinly stretched leggings that make your ass look like two bubbles he wouldn’t be able to take his face out from.. this workout is different.

you ask him to spot you while you do your dumbbell squats, he’s a little too close to you when you push your ass out and bend down.

he can’t really stop himself from hunching over you, hands at your hips, kneading the plush skin there as the perversion takes over his mind and he mumble slowly while one of his hands snake around your waist.

“push out that ass more, it’ll engage your core.” the workout feels different, you’ve never really had a spotter before so you thought it was normal for an exercise.. guess you think pounding it out in the change rooms is normal too.

황현진 ~ hwang hyunjin ~ sex paintings, photos and videos

he loves you, he loves art- what is the difference between you and art?

hyunjin would snap photos of you almost all the time, he’d say it was for his inspiration bank and for his journal- the pictures of you waking up in the morning, or you smiling up at him while cuddling was for the journal at least.

the pictures of his hands imprinted on your ass and tear streaked face with your lips wrapped around his veiny cock.. not so much, those pictures are his gospel.

the only problem is that you’ve not been dating very long and he’s got videos of you touching yourself or sucking your dildo with no avail long before you got together- but those are some of his best portfolio.

it is true art how he fucked half your things and hid in your closet after your third date, your panties stuffed in his mouth and wrapped around his cock, your clothes engulfing him as he pointed the camera between the gap of the sliding mirrors at the perfect angle, zoomed in on your fingers dipping in and out of your pussy fervently and your pretty face moaning and crying at the pleasure

or how he managed to get a video of you so close as you ride your dildo on the floor right in front of him while he’s hidden in the closet, the way your pussy swallowed the stupid silicone cock- he made sure to commit that sight to memory while he jerked off on his various paintings of you in his basement, studying each video religiously so that when he finally got together with you; he was your god.

한지성 ~ han jisung ~ sex dreams about you

jisung’s never been so weirded out in his life, never so confused at how his mind managed to conjure up a scenario so scandalous of you- the most perfect innocent thing in his life.

he couldn’t ever imagine you so needy for him, so desperate for his cock like you were in his dream.. how the way you puffed out your cheeks and pouted up at him today after a rehcording session in the studio reminded him of how you sucked his dick with those pretty lips in that amazing dream.

with each consecutive day and each dream following, they got more and more intense and vulgar- his mind would fantasise about how you jumped on his dick, your boobs bouncing in front of his face just ready for him to suckle at.

and ever since those dreams started, he's not been able to look at you the same.. how could he when you're so much more innocent and pure with him?

but one time when you went over to his dorm after rehearsals with your group, expecting him to be at his desk writing lyrics or maybe even gaming- you didn't expect to see him fisting his red tipped cock with the shorts you lost a couple weeks ago.. so you didn't lose them then.

이용복 ~ lee felix ~ touching you subtly

felix is your best friend, he's been with you ever since trainee days- you were inseparable and he's the guy you trust the most out of everyone, sure he debuted first but he never forgot about you and didn't stop being close with you after.

it was almost routine to be touchy with him, physical touch is second nature so you pay no mind to when he pulls you onto his lap, arms wrapping around your waist and holding you close to his chest when your group was over for dinner.

you were talking up with others, he didn't really care though when he felt the pressure of your ass just pressing down on his dick, your pussy so close to the tent in his pants- no one would notice if he just pushed up into you a little, right? your skirt is covering up enough of it and you certainly don't seem like you're feeling it..

his hands, hidden by your skirt and his puffy jacket, caress the curve of your ass, your plush thigh. his other hand that was around your waist, hugs around you a little tighter as he feels the rounded swell of your breast, fingertips inching closer.

you, of course, don't really notice it.. you don't even notice it when he cuddled with you in bed after the little gathering's over, the alcohol's been drunk and you're passed out. you don't notice how his lips suckle at your nipples through your thin singlet, or how he rifles his tip between your folds when you moan out his name in your sleep.. you didn't even wake up when he came all over his hand as he jerked off to the wet spot of your panties.

김승민 ~ kim seungmin ~ sexual frustrations about you

seungmin hates this.. feeling so out of control and so helpless of his thoughts and emotions when he's usually so grounded. he hates how the littlest glimpse of you makes his heart flutter and his brain go dumb, you're just his junior.

he feels like he's going even more insane when he starts thinking about what you'd look like with your clothes on the floor or how soft your skin would be if he just groped at you.. why is he so frustrated?

the frustrations continue to grow when you smile up at him and hug him tight when you get the high note he's been helping you with the past hour, his dick immediately stiffening up and banging inside his boxers to be freed.

obviously he's able to control himself around you.. slightly. maybe he did accidentally brush up into your ass like five times, each time a bit more forced but its fine, those were just because you were moving boxes around in the music studio, how was it his fault that you were bent over and right in the middle of the room?

it's not. just like it's not his fault how he took a picture of you up your skirt multiple times, each picture increasingly covering more footage of your bare ass and slick pussy.. was that because of him?

양정인 ~ yang jeongin ~ stalking. literally just stalking.

okay so i imagine jeongin to like be swiping left on every stupid profile that came up on his screen, judging all the photos of the girls and thinking about what they'd be like in a relationship with him, 'too dumb, too dramatic, too annoying, too loud.'

you.. you stumped him. it was like everything about you matched him, as if you were his twin flame. he needed to know more about you, he has to. so he kept his tabs on you; it started out with just stalking your social media, making a fake account and following all your friends so when he requested you with that account it looked like you knew each other.

from that, he looked at your posts, eyeing the street behind you in a photo of you posing at the pool in your backyard- found out where you lived and managed to sneak in, introducing himself as your boyfriend to your neighbours if they ever got suspicious. stole your spare keys and basically a whole drawer of your panties and bras, installed a camera into the small crack in your wall and spent the night in the wardrobe of your spare bedroom.

that's when the fun began- he would take candid photos of you as you slept, it helped that you wore only a singlet and underwear so he got easy access to your boobs, your ass- your pretty pussy. how could he leave your pussy untouched when it was glistening under the light? one lick. that's all he allowed himself.

after studying how you liked to be pleasured, followed you around as you went on with your life (diverted any guys from your path permanently), he finally dm'd you.. he's well versed in the knowledge of you.

honestly i'm kind of into perv skz or like i wanna try explore darker tropes like yandere or psycho and also other headcanons with skz so i might write some fics on that or expand on some of these points if people are interested

[gordon-freeman-phd]

Dr.Freeman why dont you ever talk?

[widevibratobitch]

so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.

'you gotta sing this softer'

'what'

'this is mozart'

'this is vitellia'

'this is mozart'

'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'

'this is mozart'

'i wanna murder a guy'

'this is mozart'

'...'

'softer. gentle. mozart'

'...ok'

[sigurdjarlson]

Drunk ya’ll should talk to meeee send me asks

[pepprs]

meant to post abt this yesterday and ik it’s kinda mean but i think the counselor i have rn is the worst one ive ever had possibly even worse than (or tied w) the one i had over the summer who kept ending our sessions well before the full hour was up when i was going thru a horrible time and kept spending the sessions mostly talking abt herself and her own problems. actually no now that i write that out she was probably the worst (though she was one of the warmest / nicest and our personalities meshedreally well so i feel bad saying that she was the worst). but the one i have now is so…. lke idk. my experience w the worst counselor made me rly want to work w a clinical intern again bc i wanted someone who would like. actuallytake things seriously and give me the time i was paying for and spend all of it talki ng abt the things i was paying to talk abt and draw from the most recent / cutting edge info instead of entirely personal experience (WHICH AGAIN I FEEL SO BAD ABT BECAUSE. my work is all abt healing each other by sharing things like that and i realt did like her but it just wasn’t appropriate i guess bc it was a counseling relationship!) but my current counselor is so… rigid and restrictive. like i think he is trying too hard to apply what he’s being taught and he seems like nervous and talking out of his ass and he masks that by taking up SO much space and spending like 3 minutes responding to every one minute i talk and literally like strongarmimg the convos and deciding what we’re going to talk about and moving us on to a new topic abruptly before i feel ready to move on and like taking time out of our sessions to do paperwork / admin stuff so he doesn’t forget later (and a lot of the time i think he’s doing it while im talking bc i see his eyes moving around his screen and the light on his face like he’s not even listening to me). and it fucking sucks. i want to crack him like an egg so bad and make him realize it doesn’t have to be this way but i know that’s not my responsibility and in our session last night i basically gave up trying to create enough space for myself and just let him steer things bc i was having side effects and it was just rly unsatisfying

[turner-strait]

speaking of Experiences, guess who just had the ever elusive experience of accidentally locking themselves out of their house for the first time!

[brainrotzora]

recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.

[chocum]

P POWER !

— “that pussy got power” feat. shiu kong, kento nanami, toji fushiguro, satoru gojo, suguru geto, & choso kamo.

WARNINGS. fem reader (she/her), recording, overstim, shower sex, choking, eye contact, spit, slaps, threesome, anal, oral (m+f) needy men. note i hope you all are doing well. p power came on when i was On my way! to work (literally like half of it was written while i was on the clock lol) and then this was born — i basically just took a lyric i think best described them from the song. this was more fun than i thought it would be and ill prob do it again for a diff song. anyways, feedback + reblogs are greatly appreciated ty and enjoyyy!! unedited bc we poured up for the 4th n im a little tipsy ( ｡ •̀ ᵕ •́ ｡)

SHIU KONG — “SHE WANNA GO VIRAL, KEEP FUCKIN’ FOR HOURS”

“look so pretty for the camera baby, look at you” shiu slowly moves to bring his phone closer to where his thick cock burrows and disappears in your struggling pussy— crying and creaming porcelain white around his length, messy. “so full, but she keeps begging for more. squeezing me so tight, how fuckin’ greedy”

he always fills you up so well— massaging your silky walls, his leaky cock curving languidly, kissing your spot with each stupidly slow stroke.

shiu loves to “take his time” with you. loves to just lazily push his hips up, roll them against yours, skin melding, creating delicious friction. it doesn’t take much with you. his cock was made for you after all— perfectly molds your pussy, hugging him with your gummy walls.

“know you wanna show out for the camera baby, cum again f’me. show ‘em how good you are. cmon baby juuuust like that.” you let out a soft, helpless whimper, feeling the heat of embarrassment surge across your cheeks like a wildfire, consuming you, spreading with a prickly intensity that makes your skin flush, your heart racing as he talks you through it, coaxing you closer and closer.

then you’re babbling broken cries of his name over and over and over as you cum around him again, your cunt sucking another load from him too, he never leaves you behind.

he keeps his phone focused on how you milk him dry, sliding out slowly, lewdly, with a throaty “fuck” before stuffing his fingers in your achy pussy making you jump, overstimulation tickling up your spine, “don’t let me out, can’t let all your hard work go to waste, now can we?”

KENTO NANAMI — “SHE WET IN THE SHOWER, THAT PSSY GET LOUDER”

nanami’s eyes sweetly dive into yours, intimately. his broad hands stretching across the curve of your neck as the warm water crashes against his back, cascading, stinging where you dig your nails into his flexed muscles, leaving angry red slashes.

“fuck. gonna cum if you keep looking up at me so desperately like that, honey.”

the sound of skin against skin gets lost in the heavy downpour of the shower, each drop drumming against the tilled walls, but nanami manages to pull out sweet, sweet moans from deep in your throat— cutting through the cacophony, clear and unmistakable, filthy. they pound through his ears, making his cock throb in your wet, sloppy fucking pussy.

“stick—” he grunts, “stick that fucking tongue out”

you nod with a docile tilt of your head like a little doll, your eyes pools of sincerity— obediently letting your tongue fall out of your mouth. he’s leaning over, his body bending slightly as he tilts his head downward to let spit form and fall from innetween his lips onto your tongue, mixing with droplets of steamy water as it glides down your throat.

“so nasty, hm?” his tone is mean, but he’s praising you, smirking as his grip on you tightens, “my nasty, slut of a wife”

TOJI FUSHIGURO — “WE AINT SAYIN NO VOWS, SHE FUCKIN’ NO COWARD”

“c’mon doll, don’t tap out on me,” toji roughly huffs, feigning sympathy but the smirk that tugs at his scarred lips betrays him like it always does, his hands slapping against your puffy cheek— the mean impact leaving a faint stinging sensation amidst the warmth of his touch “‘m not done stuffing my pretty girl yet, cmon”

you’re so fucked out you can’t even think, limbs hanging limp in his tight, tight grasp, basically picking you up and dropping you on his thick cock as your cunt weeps for him, pooling slick he’s fucked out of you onto the velvety sheets.

even his body trembles, each trained muscle tensing beneath his scarred skin, cock twitching inside you rhythmically because it’s too much, even for him. but he ignores the creeping- painful feeling of overstimulation, hissing through clenched teeth about how you’re so “tight”, so “good for him.”

and once again, he’s cumming inside you, heavy balls slapping against your flush ass as he fucks his seed into your abused little cunt. “toji” you cry, dazed eyes looking into his, but he’s so gone, body taking over, hips still slamming into you as he groans out a breathy— needy “fuck” fingers dipping into the curve of your hips.

“i want to taste you,” he sighs, rushing to pull out before folding you over, “ ‘m not stopping till i’m covered in you, give it to me just how i like it”

CHOSO KAMO — “GET PLAY AS A PLAYER, THAT P GET DEVOURED”

“did my girl miss me, hm?” choso hums against your oozing cunt, fingers pushing your fat lips apart, his pointer and middle spreading, so he can give your pretty little clit his undivided attention, kissing, nuzzling with his nose.

he groans at the way you clench around nothing, just begging for his needy cock, words meshed and muffled against your drooling pussy, “i know she did, pretty, ‘s ok ‘m here now”

he drags his fingers to your mouth, “get ‘em wet” pushing past your puffy lips, for you to lick and suck on, not leaving until they’re dripping in your spit, before dipping into your cunt, dragging them against your silky, warm walls, blowing on your clit so gently each time you greedily buck into his palms.

“gonna give me what i want, huh?” he pauses, kiss. “gonna make a mess for me? i know you can, baby. you always do. always get so messy for me i love it”

you nod sheepishly, hands moving to card through his fluffy hair, both hands gripping onto his scalp to ground yourself and grind on his pretty face.

messily, he slobbers, lapping at your cunt, switching between soft sucks to your clit and broad slow licks, making you shudder and twitch, his arms snaking around your thighs to keep you nice and still for him to devour you.

SATORU GOJO & SUGURU GETO — “TOLD MY BROTHER SHE OURS”

“his tongue feel that good, baby? you’re slacking off. suck me like you usually do. ‘s not fair” gojo’s pouting— whining, his hands gently cradling your cheeks bringing you back to him, but your pretty eyes just keep rolling further and further back at the feeling of geto’s tongue flat against your needy cunt. sucking and spitting all over your messy pussy.

promoting gojo to huff, moving his hand to the back of your neck to start rutting into your little mouth, chest growing warm at how you gag around him, his pride growing now that you’re looking up at him, eyes watering so sweetly for him.

geto’s more mature when it comes to sharing you. just hums, pressing his cock against your puffy folds playing, tapping it against your quivering hole, groaning because you’re so messy. can’t even tell if it’s his drool of your messy slick or both.

before he sinks into your cunt, gojo mutters something your overwhelmed little brain can’t comprehend, but after some shuffling around, you feel it. one slicked-up finger slowly sinking into your ass, while geto bottoms out.

gojo gets mean when he’s jealous, but he isn’t cruel, doesn’t wanna hurt his pretty girl, so he preps your tight ass before sinking his cock inside.

you can’t fucking think, at all, brain mushy turned to goo as they both take you. spewing nothing but dirty shit, calling you all types of names, some sweet most of those from geto, but the “slut”’s and “whore”’s are all gojo. his hips sputtering, going dumb at how your tight little ass squeezes around him— he could barely move, just feels geto’s curved tip brushing against the wall that separates your two little holes.

both rutting into you like animals in heat with no regard for how sensitive you're getting, pretty tears brimming up in your eyes.

“so pretty when you take up both, baby ‘specially this little ass ‘s so tight got fucking lucky. keep fucking draining us”

[osaemu]

GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ FINDERS KEEPERS, LOSERS WEEPERS! ❜❜

.ೃ࿐ streamer!au: the user "gojoslittleslut" tries to make a move on your boyfriend, but she doesn't stand a chance

contents: fem!reader. it's not too serious, nobody gets angry/jealous (except the comments lol). if u haven't already read the other streamer!gojo works u probably should so u understand the dynamic between satoru and his commenters !

author's note: reader is actually a mature person who doesn't pick fights with random ppl on the internet and i think we should all be more like her ꨄ︎

satoru leans back in his chair, idly chatting with people who pop up in his comments after he finishes his last round of the co-op game. his viewers are eager to chat, and some even shoot money satoru's way to draw his attention. whenever someone donates money, he gives them a quick shoutout and has a small back-and-forth with them, and he does that for everyone.

that is, until a user with a questionable username donates to his stream.

gojoslittleslut has donated $100.00!

gojoslittleslut: notice me pls

"shit, a hundred dollars?" satoru says, raising his eyebrows in mild surprise. "thanks, gojoslittl— oh, fuck, what is that?"

you look up from your laptop and see the way your boyfriend's cheeks have gone bright red. satoru laughs a bit nervously, so you get up and walk over, making sure to stay out of sight of the camera. you sit on satoru's desk beside his computer and peer at his screen curiously.

gojoslittleslut: im ur number one fan~

satoru's eyes flicker to yours for a second before he looks back at his monitor. "ah, well, thanks for the donation!" he replies, completely ignoring the user's advances.

suguru-geto: he has a gf ...

gojoslittleslut: yeah

gojoslittleslut: me

you cover your mouth to suppress a giggle, scrunching up your nose at satoru to let him know that you really weren't taking it too seriously. after all, it's just some random person on the internet—they don't stand a chance with your boyfriend. 

satoru reaches over and takes your hand, twining his fingers with yours off-camera. he ignores the sudden burst of comments that litter the corner of his screen, instead watching you intently. in response, you roll your eyes playfully and blow him a kiss, snickering when satoru pretends to faint.

eventually, he turns back to his screen, cerulean eyes doing a quick once-over of his new comments.

toji-fushiguro: ill take his gf any day

inumaki: we know gtfo

gojoslittleslut: toji i get gojo and u take his girl. deal?

toji-fushiguro: bet

"alright guys, settle down," satoru huffs, rolling his eyes. "for the record, i still have a girlfriend and i don't plan on changing that anytime soon," he clarifies, addressing the current feud going on in his comments. 

satoru's a good streamer—he does his best to keep things cordial and lighthearted with his audience, but he also knows his limits. one of his limits involves people trying to separate you and him, his one true pairing (of course satoru's otp is his own relationship).

your boyfriend leans closer to the screen and scowls good-naturedly, holding up the hand still wrapped around yours. "this isn't gonna change, so don't even think about it!"

satoru says his goodbyes and then ends the stream, turning to you with a sigh. "how down bad do you have to be to name yourself 'gojo's little slut?'" he grumbles, clicking through his stream analytics and finding the user. he opens gojoslittleslut's profile and studies it for a moment before hovering his mouse over the block button.

he leans back in his chair and tilting his chin up at you. "she just gave me a hundred dollars, so i kinda feel bad about blocking her," satoru muses, tapping his foot on the floor. he looks up at where you still sit on his desk, twirling a strand of hair around your finger. "c'mere," he mumbles, slipping his hands around your waist and hoisting you into his lap with a soft grunt.

satoru rests his chin on your shoulder and nudges his face into your neck, breath tickling your skin. "you know that i'm all yours, right?"

"of course i do," you murmur, settling into his arms. he's warm and comfortable, like always. satoru smiles warmly and kisses the side of your face, letting his lips linger.

"good. 'cause no fan account's ever gonna change that."

[arminsumi]

THE HORNIEST

↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader

Summary : Horny!Gojo needs you so bad, he's insatiable. A menace.

Warnings : minors do not read/interact : smut/explicit content, it's very horny lol, not proofread, c*mshots and creampies, unprotected sex, multiple rounds, implied drunk sex

Note : lmk if you want more horny gojo lol 👍 reqs open!! anyways lol the title cracks me up. he ain't the strongest he's the horniest :(

Horny!Gojo introduces himself to you in the flirtiest way possible, cooing a sweet and drunk "Who invited the goddess?" into your ear. He's sat on the couch with you, one night at a stupid frat party. Starstruck by you. And your reciprocation made his chest feel fluttery for the first time in years. It also made his dick stand up in his pants.

Horny!Gojo leans into you for the whole night, whispering flirty things and dirty jokes into your ear like his mind is a factory pumping them out. You match his playful energy so well, he says "I think we're made for each other."

Horny!Gojo has his sharp eyes wandering to your thighs, then your shoulders, then your lips as you speak — and he licks his lips to wet them.

Horny!Gojo showers you in compliment after compliment, relishing in your reactions and getting greedier; he needs to get you alone. "Wanna go someplace quieter?" he has to shout over the music to ask you.

Horny!Gojo assures you with cocky confidence, "Yeah, I could make you cum. Aw, don't give me that eyeroll, it's turning me on. I know for a fucking fact I could make you cum. I could make those eyes roll back. I could make your legs shake."

Horny!Gojo squeezes your hand tightly when he leads you upstairs, and giggles with you as the two of you escape into a quiet, empty bedroom. His heart is panging so hard in his chest. His body feels electric. He's so horny it's the only thing he can focus on.

Horny!Gojo whimpers when you crash your lips into his. He starts making out wildly with you like he's a sex-deprived loser. Because he is. A sex-deprived, touch-starved college boy.

Horny!Gojo hits those deep, hard strokes with no breaks just to destroy you. He never lets up. Never stops to have a breather or lets you catch your own breath. "Working up a sweat b—abyyy? Too much dick stuffing your little cunt? Yeah? Is it too much? Too big? Too deep? Fuck, you're gonna squeeze my dick off, haha, calm down. It's just a little dirty talk."

Horny!Gojo murmurs into your ear, "All I wanna do is make you finish over and over again." desperation and conviction in his voice. He really just wanted to fuck you into bliss, have you dumb on his fat cock, have you squirming and whimpering and going feral for him.

Horny!Gojo pins you down like a beast but also pounds into you like he's the bitch in heat. "Oh my god oh my god yes yes yes fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckkkk that pussy's so fuckin' gooooodddd" he's a mess, just swearing and moaning like a broken record.

Horny!Gojo almost sobs your name into your mouth when he cums, draining every drop of cum that he's worked up for you in the past hour.

Horny!Gojo turns his creampies into whipped cream with his thrusts, smacking his hips so hard into you that you feel his balls slap against your ass. They're so heavy and full, makes you think that if you weren't on birth control you'd definitely get knocked up with just one of his fat nuts.

Horny!Gojo goes round after round, becoming a melting sweaty mess of a man and feeling his muscles tire out. He pins you to the bed with his whole weight, and gives you his all just to show off a little.

Horny!Gojo has such a strained but enthusiastic voice after fucking you into next year with his dick. "Wow... that pussy's so fucking creamy." he grins toothily. A sweat drop beads off his cheek. His bangs are stuck messily to his forehead, some brushed to the side.

Horny!Gojo is insatiable, he calls you long after the party, over and over, shows up at your door and relishes in how his horniness rubs off on you. He's always a giggly mess in bed with you.

Horny!Gojo needs you so bad some days that he comes to you straight after his workout at the gym, no shower just sweaty gym boy abs, and fucks you as a way to "push his limits" for like three hours.

Horny!Gojo needs to cum everywhere he can. It's like he has a cumshot checklist. Thighs? Yes. Tummy? Yes. Ass? Yes. Chest? Yes. Face? Yes. Pussylips? Yes. Hands? Yes. In your panties? Yes.

Horny!Gojo is so fucking cute when he kisses you after sex, nuzzling your neck like a cat and telling you how good you treat him with that five star pussy.

Horny!Gojo jerks himself alone when you can't come over :( always to you, of course. Sexts like a menace. He's a bit too good at it.

Horny!Gojo gets so pussy drunk sometimes that he begs you to become his wife. His dick feels so raw and sensitive but he keeps squeezing it into that tight hole of yours.

Horny!Gojo is obsessed with you, mind body and soul. Just the sight of you and sound of you makes his dick stand up. And then he's whisking you off your feet and frantically throwing you onto the bed, and you're giggling at your horny boyfriend— oh... when did that happen? Hm. Well now he's your boyfriend.

© arminsumi

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

[currently-becoming-potatoes]

List of words for the computer:

LONG POST- more under the cut

STANFORD- Pulls up a file on Stanford Pines, written by an unknown scientist. It discusses his extra finger and praises his intelligence, as well as calling him the “next evolution in the human species”.

BILL CIPHER- Takes you to the Wikipedia page for the Eye of Providence. Also took me to a Sesame Street video about a Jazzy Triangle and a Square. Not sure what prompted the change.

STANLEY PINES: Takes you to a list of EBay listings for brass knuckles.

FIDDLEFORD: Takes you to the music video for Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex.

SHERMIE: Nothing. I sure do wish we got some lore about Grandpa Pines.

GRAVITY FALLS: The text on the computer reads “never heard of it” and the red light on the bottom turns green.

ALEX HIRSCH: Leads to Google Images for “flannel”. Huh.

WEIRDMAGEDDON: Pulls up an article from the Gravity Falls Gossiper about how nothing happened at all and there was no apocalypse.

DISNEY: Screen reads “rat.gif censored for your protection”

SOOS: Leads to a page of writing from Soos himself, referencing many things (including Tad Strange being gay and madly in love with Woodpecker Guy. Love wins!!!)

DIPPER: Leads to a creepy yellow parchment with a message from Bill Cipher himself trying to trick Dipper into blinding himself by staring at the sun for 13 hours straight! Silly! (Also if you keep clicking on it, the page gets darker and blurrier until it implies we've gone blind)

MABEL: Causes stickers to appear on every available surface. Clicking it enough times leads to message “lab now fully Mabelized”.

WENDY: Leads to a note from Wendy that mentions a way to ward off evil triangles written in the bottom corner of the book.

GIDEON: Makes a web recording of Gideon scatting play. It ends with “I love you forever Mabel”. Please shut the fuck up you little creep.

TAD STRANGE: Plays a video of bread with smooth jazz in the background.

TOBY DETERMINED: Leads to a Google search for a restraining order. Holyyyyy shittttttt

WHO ARE YOU: “I could ask you the same question”

SEASON 3: “Season Two”. I guess that’s that lol

This was about all I could find. Please reblog with anything else you can discover! Thank you, fellow Gravity Falls enjoyers!

And make sure to give some love to all the wonderful folks down in the comments! Many of these answers and tips come from what they've found. I can't list everyone, unfortunately- I didn't expect this post to get popular- but, to everyone who's helped out, THANK YOU.

FURTHER EDITS:

BLIND EYE: Pulls up an optometrist’s eye exam. Each line reads “WKHBOOVHH”. Too lazy to translate atm.

PIÑATA: Bill Cipher getting beaten to death /hj

MASON: A note from Dipper listing several anagrams of Gravity Falls characters’ names. You can check in the comments for the answers.

AXOLOTL: “You ask alotl questions”. Thanks for the pun, Alex, but I’m kind of losing my mind rn

MYSTERY SHACK: Leads to a Google search for Confusion Hill, the real-life Mystery Shack!

MYSTERY: “?”

MONSTER: Leads to several YouTube videos for “There’s a Monster at the End of this Book.”

VALLIS CINERIS: Leads to an analog-horror-esque video of Baby Bill and his parents, who have been blotted out by static, and a voice repeating “WHY DID YOU DO IT” over and over again until you stop the video.

PORTAL: “Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build a new one.”

GIFFANY: You need to put it in multiple times. Several warnings about breaching firewall, followed by a message from GIFFANY saying “SOOS! I still love you!” or smth like that, and then GIFFANY herself briefly appearing onscreen. Trying again after that summons her more. Also lets you download some ZIP files.

DORITO: Summons an image of a spinning Dorito, followed by the most cursed image of Bill Cipher I have ever seen.

GOD: A short video of an axolotl in a tank with a Bill Cipher statue plays. This is Alex’s axolotl, shown in the Book of Bill countdown.

REALITY: “Is an illusion”

FILBRICK: “I’m not impressed”

CARYN: “I knew you were gonna write that”

GLASS SHARD BEACH: Leads to an image of the New Jersey Hell Hole.

ANY CUSS WORD: Pulls up a paper reading “NOT S&P APPROVED. WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP” with an image of soap below.

MATPAT: Leads to a video of MatPat next to a conspiracy board, holding the Book of Bill. He tells us we’re on our own.

BABBA: Plays an audio recording of Dipper singing BABBA. Not Disco Girl, a different song.

CRAZ: Leads to the Jem and the Holograms theme.

XYLER: See above.

AD ASTRA PER ASPERA: Shows us two new journal pages from Ford and Mabel, studying the Cipher statue. They’re definitely worth the read, I teared up looking at them.

ANSWER: “Question”

QUESTION: “Answer”

SEASON ONE: “Season -1: Antigravity Falls”

SEASON TWO: “Season 1” …maybe scratch what I said about Season 3. Or don’t. Things are starting to damage my brain.

CURSED (got from @slimslamflimflam decoding the candle! Thanks!): Shows two pages talking about the dangers of drawing triangles, with the bottom of the second page showing several drawings of Bill and the words “HE IS COMING, RUN”

THE UNIVERSE: “Hologram”

RIZZ: “Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas.” This response is repeated if you type in SKIBIDI or FORTNITE.

BABY: Shows an ultrasound of a fetus Bill Cipher, captioned “Look at what’s growing inside you! See you in nine months, papa!”

JOURNAL 3: “The Journal for Me”

PACIFICA: Leads to a note from Pacifica calling Bill Cipher “ick” and telling us to follow her on social media under “Platinum Paz”

PLATINUM PAZ: Pulls up an image of Northwest Manor with the llama symbol overlaid and a “NW” logo beneath. There's also a short story beneath!

LOVE: Leads to an audiobook of “The Love Triangle”. Need to read later.

BLENDIN: “The time agent lost and presumed incompetent”. Uh…?

SCARY: Leads to another audiobook of a cheesy Goosebumps-esque horror novel written by Bill himself, apparently.

DIVORCE: Shows you the logo of the bar Bill went to after his fight with Ford… Billford bitter exes confirmed

ROBBIE: Leads to the cringiest messages ever. He’s such a failure I love him

CONSPIRACY: Leads to a video of a man losing his mind over the countdown counting up. I feel so seen. (I have been informed that his name is Charlie Day, he's an actor from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and that one meme, he had a quote on the back of the Book of Bill, thanks to everyone who explained that to me, I'm sorry, I'm uncultured)

RAT: “Thurburt’s number?”

BLANCHIN: Leads to a YouTube video on how to blanch vegetables.

TJ ECKLEBURG: “Never mention that name again.”

NOTHING: “Something”

SOMETHING: “Nothing”

BURNSIDE: “Burned inside.” Well… at least we know what happened…

WADDLES: Leads to the pig placement network!

THERAPRISM: Pulls up a sign from the theraprism regarding an emergency situation. The code reads "THE OLD ONE".

SHAPE: Pulls up an article on Plato, triangles, and Ancient Greece. This article is presumably written by Bill.

LLIB and BILL: THIS leads to the Sesame Street video every time.

WEIRD: Shows a video of a frightened Weird Al panicking about being trapped in a computer. Sorry, man...

CLONE: Pulls up an image of Paper Jam Dipper, a warning about not getting him too close to liquids, and an option to print.

TRIANGLE: ")" or "Tri harder."

THEYLLSEE: "Is seeing believing?"

DEER TEETH: "For you, kid!"

LIFE: "Life: 72% complete. Now loading: death."

DEATH: "Life's goth cousin."

PINES: "A good family tree."

OWL TROWEL: A slab of hieroglyphs, translating to an ancient ad for an owl trowel.

SCALENE: "Life form not found." EUCLID has the same outcome.

WELL WELL WELL BEING: Some assorted notes from Bill's Theraprism file. These include his greatest love and fear, his art therapy notes, and notes on his phobias. Three clicks is required to read them all.

BOO BERRY: Offers a poem on the meaning of life! Wow! I feel so enlightened!

LOVE YA BRO: Shows us a doodle from Stan of one of his and Ford's Sea Grunks adventures, and another code on the back. It translates to "Kings of New Jersey." I've been told it lets you download the code as a font.

SORRY: Reveals the repaired Backupsmore photo, with a note from Fiddleford about his and Ford's growing friendship. Fiddauthor fans, we are eating well tonight!

HORROR: Pulls up an image and report on The Always Garden, which is essentially a cheap Italian restaurant hidden in the backrooms.

HOLOGRAM: "Universe."

NAITSUAF: Pulls up a page that looks like it would be from the Book of Bill, in which Bill tries to convince us to sell us his soul. Clicking "ARE YOU READY?" pulls up a contract where we can sell our soul to Bill (with an alarming amount of coded fine print. Will need to translate later). You can print this document out, back out, or sign it right there on the web. Hitting "SIGN" causes the words "PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU!" to appear, and the document to close. In other words, I no longer have a soul.

IMSTILLONYOURMIND: Plays a recording of the ocean, with Stan faintly talking in the background. Poor Ford ain't quite over the divorce yet...

HOTXOLOTL: Pulls up a "MOST WANTED" doc on the henchmaniacs.

SEVENEYES: Pulls up a faded polaroid of The Oracle with text on the back that reads "LEAVE HIM. Escape to dimension *blurred out*. It's against the rules but it's the only reality where you'll be safe from him." The code at the bottom (once again decoded by the powerhouse that is @slimslamflimflam) reads "Set a course for Dimension: R34LITY." Is another Cipher Hunt in the makes? Only time will tell, hehehe.

JUST FIT IN: Plays an old commercial with a few moments of speech in the glitches at the end.

EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES: Shows a transcript from a therapy session at the Theraprism. Bill discusses his relationship with Ford and cuts off the session when someone brings up his parents.

NOT A PHASE: Shows a Google search for "black hair dye stained an entire bathroom."

PAPER IS BOOK SKIN: Instantly downloads a page of fleshy pink paper with the word "ENJOY" written on it!

SHAVE YOUR GRANDMA: Pulls up a few more pages about the human life cycle.

LIES: Pulls up an image of "The Game of Lies" board game, with a long stretch of text from (I assume) Bill, ending with "LIE UNTIL YOU ARE NOT LYING ANYMORE." Someone has some issues...

SAY BAAAA: Pulls up a neat little rhyme about being Bill Cipher's obedient flock of sheep. The code at the end translates to "Black Sheep."

ONE EYED KING: Plays a video of a hypnotist's spiral, with Bill proclaiming "YOU WANT TO PLEDGE YOUR SOUL TO BILL CIPHER" in the background. There is also morse code that translates to "NAITSUAF", leading to a previous discovery- the soul contract.

TANTRUM: Pulls up a transcript of a spat between Bill and Time Baby.

TITANS BLOOD: "HOOT HOOT! Password please!"

CURSE WITTEBANE: Pulls up an image of a Bill Cipher ouija board.

FORDTRAMARINE: Pulls up several rejected files from Ford trying to convince us Fordtramarine exists.

SUCK IT MERLIN: Pulls up a tapestry of Bill riding a unicorn. The code at the top reads "DAY MARE VS NIGHTMARE."

HEY NERD: Plays a commercial advertising things such as a Bill Cipher calendar, the Scrubba-Bill, a severed hand, and the entire Cygnus-XIII galaxy. Half of the image can be found in the Book of Bill.

DESTRUCTION IS THE FORM OF CREATION: Pulls up a frantic page of notes from post-portal-shit Fiddleford. A sticky note at the bottom has a code that reads "Unreality."

RUBBERHOSE: Plays "The World is Small Ever After for All."

IRREGULAR: Shows us Bill's mugshot in color. The code below reads "No prison or attention span can hold him."

UNREALITY: Offers a guide by Bill on how to become immortal.

GUN: "Oh yes oh yes oh yes they both."

ABUELITA: Leads to a video on vacuuming the walls.

YES: "What's McGucket's favorite soda?"

NO: "Your loss..."

REPEATEDLY CLICKING STAN: This stuff deserves a section of its own, away from the OG Stan stuff. It takes you through several Ebay listings on various Stan-ish items until you get to a page written by Bill about Stan's secret shames. "Ex-wives" further confirms our theory on Stan and Eda's relationship, as well as revealing many other bits of lore. "Fears" is somewhat goofy to be honest. "Secret Shames" reveals that Stan is a fanfiction writer and that his mother is the only member of his family who truly loves him outside of Ford and the kids. "Unreported Crimes" is somewhat goofy as well. "Failed Products" basically confirms that Stan is that world's Alex. "Lowest Moments" is genuinely depressing, and "Darkest Thought". Well. I'm not spoiling it lol. And the bit on "How He Beat Me" causes Bill to get more and more frantic/angry the more you click it! Comedy GOLD!

DIPPY FRESH: Leads to a Reddit post of the Burger King Kids Club.

MEOW: Leads to a TikTok of a man playing the Gravity Falls theme on that cap keyboard.

HELP ME: Pulls up another video of Alex's axolotl and the tiny statue. Rip Bill ig :/

R34LITY: Pulls up several photos of the henchmaniacs in live-action, captioned "They found a new home."

JOURNAL 1: "The journal of fun."

JOURNAL 2: "The journal for you."

FBI: "Your webcam is on. We are watching."

BURNED INSIDE: Shows an image of a charred Oregon Parks badge and nametag on the ground.

HECTORING: Plays a silly little country song!

OROBOROUS: Pulls up two journal pages about Fiddleford buying Ford an axolotl to keep him company, and Bill subsequently telling Ford to get rid of him. There's also some code on the first page that reads "CHONKY BOY." Ford, you wonderful dork.

[kindlyfunkn]

god my father's annoying when it comes to big expenses. yeah yeah sports car insurance yadda yadda get a four door get all wheel drive. stop. mf zip your lips and let me entertain the idea of owning that cheapass charger

[starkeysprincess]

after lecture punishment

pairing: professor!rafe x reader warnings: sir kink, spanking, fingering, edging, praising, 18+ mdni

word count: 1.6k request: Hiiii! Can you write something with Professor!Rafe? Like where reader can't focus in class because of how sexy he is/ starts failing so he keeps her after class or something like that lol <3333

main m.list ⟡ rafe cameron m.list ⟡ taglist

“Fuck” you muttered to yourself, staring at your test result, the bright red ink that marked the paper with a ‘D-’. 

When you first started the second semester of your junior year, you never thought in a million years that you would score anything lower than a ‘B’. You passed your previous classes with flying colors, but it looks like this class alone would be the one to damage your track record. If you were being honest, it’s not that you didn’t study or try hard enough, it was your lack of attention span. Your attention was focused on something else during lectures, or should you say someone. 

That someone is none other than the man teaching your class, Professor Cameron. You couldn’t help it, you’ve always had a thing for older men and it didn’t help that he was the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. You were so engrossed with him, that you even noticed he wasn’t married, there wasn’t a ring adorning his left ring finger. 

You were disrupted from your thoughts when you heard rustling around you, looking to see your classmates packing their belongings into their bags. You shove your test into your binder, standing up as you gather your items. Your feet carried you towards the door, passing Professor Cameron’s desk before you felt a hand brush against your arm as he called out your name, following with “Could you walk with me to my office? I have a few things to discuss with you”. You watched as your classmates dispersed out of the room before turning your head, looking at him, and nodding.

You walked behind him, following him like a lost puppy as he led the way to his office. His name plaque mounted near his office door, glinting from the lighting, catches your eye. He twists the doorknob, opens the door, and steps aside to let you in, his eyes shamelessly glued to how your hips swayed as you walked in. He follows behind you, shutting the door, and gesturing for you to sit at the chair in front of his desk. 

“I couldn’t help but look at your transcript and noticed you’re an honor student, is that right?”, Professor Cameron leans back against his desk, standing in front of you, crossing his arms over his chest, his biceps bulging against the sleeves of his white button-up. “Uh, yes, sir” you mutter, feeling yourself fidget with your skirt. His eyes fixate on your skirt before he clears his throat, “Your grades for the past few semesters are impressive but coming into this class, I have yet to see the honor student in you”.

“You do understand that your grade in this class is on the verge of failing, correct?” he questions, to which you sheepishly nod, “Is there something going on outside of class affecting your learning?”. You nervously bounce your leg up and down, “No, sir. I’ve just been distracted, that’s all”. Professor Cameron’s face turns into a look of amusement, “Distracted? What’s makin’ a smart girl like you distracted?”.

Your face flushes with embarrassment, “It’s nothing”, you mumble, watching as Professor Cameron rolls his sleeves up, his hands moving behind him, settling on his desk, “Nothin’? If it was nothin’, you wouldn’t be on the verge of failing my class. I’ve been watching you during my lectures, you’re a good girl. You wouldn’t lie, would you?”. 

“N-no”, you lied, stuttering as he observed your face, taking in your reaction, as if he was trying to detect if you were lying. He lets out a ‘tsk’, standing up and pinching your elbow between his fingers, pulling you out of the chair and into his chest. “Thought a smart girl like you would know better about lying” he shakes his head, “I can’t help you with your grade unless you tell me what’s been distracting you. That, or I’ll have to get it out of you, it’s your choice, sweetheart”. 

When you don’t give him an answer, he pushes you against his desk, forcing you to bend over. He grabs your hands, pinning them onto the top of his desk with one hand. His voice is gruff, “Alright, you made your choice, guess I’ll have to get it out of you”. His rough, large hand pushes your skirt up your hips, revealing your thong and your heart is pounding in your chest, anticipating his next move. 

His hand runs along the curve of your ass, kneading at the flesh before he pulls his hand back and delivers a sharp smack. You yelp at the contact, squirming to get your wrists out of his hold, and it only makes him bring his hand down again, the sound echoing in his office. His signet ring catches against your skin with each smack he’s given. “Remember, you made your choice. You could be a good girl and tell me what’s been distracting that pretty little head of yours and I’ll stop…or, you don’t and I’ll have to keep punishing you” he warns, reminding you with another smack to your reddening ass. 

He releases his grip on your wrists, “Keep them on the desk” his voice was stern, giving you no room for argument. Rafe’s hands cup the globe of your ass, spreading your cheeks apart, “Then again…I think you’re enjoying this” he chuckles to himself, his eyes locked on your arousal staining a wet patch onto your thong. He hooks his finger into your thong, tugging it to the side, your glistening cunt on display for him.

A gasp can be heard from you the second you feel his spit running along your folds before he spreads it across your lips, his signet ring-clad finger prodding at your hole. “As long as you tell me, I’m more than willing to help you with anything you need”, his words indicating he wasn’t talking about your grades.

His thick digit pushes into you, your warm, wet walls sucking him in and he can’t help but groan at how tight you feel around his finger. “So fuckin’ tight, gonna have to stretch you out” his words ringing in your ears as he adds another finger, slowly pumping them in and out. You scoot yourself back, trying to stand up but he’s quick to press his palm on your lower back, holding you there as his fingers move faster. You moan at the delicious sensation of the coolness his signet ring creates as it bumps at your clit with each thrust of his fingers.

Your slick coats his fingers, practically soaking them, filling his office with the wet, squelching sounds of his fingers brutally thrusting into you. “Can’t have you gettin’ too loud on me, sweetheart”, his hand reaches around, and clamps down on your mouth, muffling your moans of pleasure when he curls his fingers, hitting at your g-spot. He removes his hand from your mouth, snaking it between your legs to rub at your clit. He can sense you’re close, your inner walls contracting, and gripping his fingers. 

You whine out in frustration when you feel his fingers slowing down. Rafe pushes himself forward until his chest is flush against your back, his weight pressing you further onto his desk, “Wanna know what I think?” his warm breath tickles your ear. “I think your pretty little head is distracted and full of filthy thoughts”, his thumb slowly circled at your clit, “Filthy thoughts of me”. 

You shake your head, not trusting your voice, “No? So you don’t press your thighs together, trying to relieve the throbbing need for me when you see me? You don’t think about being bent over my desk like you are right now?”. He doesn’t miss the way you clench around his fingers at his words, “S’okay to admit it”, he coos, his fingers picking back their speed while his thumb circling on your clit faster. 

“P-Please, sir”, you stutter, your hand moving to hold onto his arm between your legs as you’re on the brink of an orgasm, the same orgasm that he ripped away from you. “Please what?”, he taunts, “Please let me cum”, you plead, tears welling in your eyes. His fingers slowed their movement, edging you once again, “No can do. You’re a smart girl, you know what I want to hear”.

“C’mon, sweetheart, just tell me what’s been distracting you in my class and I’ll let you cum, yeah?” He mutters, already knowing the source of your distraction but wanting to hear you admit it. “Be a good girl and I’ll have you makin’ a mess on my fingers in seconds, I promise” He adds. 

“You’ve been distracting me” You hiccup as you admit what he’s been wanting to know. “Yeah? How?” He taunts, his fingers relentlessly pumping in and out of your cunt with ease, curving his fingers, repeatedly thumping at your g-spot, “Been distracting you so much that little head of yours can’t think of anything except the thought of me bending you over, stuffing you full of my cock?”. 

“Yes” you lazily nod, your head feeling dizzy and your response is good enough for him, “Go on, cream all over my fingers”. Your cunt flutters around his fingers, legs trembling, almost giving out as you come undone all over his fingers. “Good girl, see, that wasn’t so hard” He praises, slowly moving his fingers, helping you come down from your high. He withdraws his fingers from you, pulling them into his mouth, sucking them clean, “Fuck…been wanting to know what that sweet cunt tasted like”

You shakily stand up, smoothing out your skirt to fix your appearance when Rafe pinches your chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your head up to look at him, “From now on, I want you to be under my mentorship, alright?” he mumbles, his thumb brushing at your bottom lip, the corner of his lip twitching upwards at your response, “Yes sir”.

tagging: @oceandriveab @babygorewhore @xxbimbobunnyxx @rafesthroatbaby @annoyingassleo @drudyslut @sturnioloshacker @redhead1180 @shawtycoreee @starkeyisthelastname @hallecarey1 @heartsforvin @eddieslut69 @bimbotrashcan @bunnyrafe @kisses4angel @hyperfixationgirl @emilysuperswag @flvredcas @usergeta @rafeinterlude @rafecameroninterlude @starkeysheart @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @fae-of-prey @amandabbbbb @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @spid6y @chimindity @spacexdrago @honeybunniesoobin @juniebugg @wearemadeofstardust0 @blckbrrybasket @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @chrislapdog @dark1paradise @nemesyaaa @rafescurtainbangz @zyafics @ijustwanttoreadlols

[monzabee]

lawyer up (social media au) - lh44

masterlist ||

Summary: The one where Lewis is dating a lawyer, who might or might not love her job a bit too much.

Pairing: lewis hamilton x lawyer!reader (model used: random people i've found on the internet and also kendall jenner in like one part so it doesn't count)

Warnings: none other than some cursing

Author note: you all know who this is based off of... MIRANDA IS HEREEEEEE (not really but still lol) and i love this one so i hope you also like it as much as i do because i was feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed a little bit of self indulgence!! p.s. also, i actually planned for a max fic for today but after that delicious lewis win, i think we all deserve this one besties!!

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.

yourusername

Liked by lewishamilton, f1wagss, yourbestfriend and 23,746 others.

yourusername: what, like it's hard?

yourusername: lol, yes, yes it is

user: ugh, she is who i wanna be when i grow up

user: who wants to bet lewis makes her read his contracts before signing them

user: okay but why is it the cutest thing ever, i'm SO in

lewishamilton: hey, i'll take that bet

view all 564 comments.

user: HOW DO THEY FIND THE TIME TO BE TOGETHER, THEY NEVER KNEW A DAY OF REST POOR BABIES

user: girl... they're in their thirties... relax...

yourbestie: will be bringing you coffee for the thousandth time this week

yourusername: you're an angel

yourusername

Liked by yourworkbestie, lewishamilton, user and 34,736 others.

yourusername: today is a good day to make an old white guy cry🤍

user: MA'AM YOU'RE GOING TO GET FIRED

user: mother is out for revenge i wonder what this is about

yourusername: if it weren't for that nda...

user: she really won the idgaf war, hasn't she?

view all 827 comments.

lewishamilton: you're making me regret what i've told you

yourusername: good, maybe that'll teach you a lesson🫠

yourusername: let the record show this is NOT a good kind of melting puddle emoji

lewishamilton: ouch, sustained

user: ARE MOMMY AND DADDY FIGHTING NOOOO

user: if lewis did something stupid we all know she's going to sue his ass, right??

lewishamilton shared a story!

lewishamilton

Liked by yourusername, mercedesamgf1, charles_leclerc and 1,827,728 others.

lewishamilton: family time off

user: OH HE TOOK HER TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF

user: still don't understand how he bagged her, but good for them

user: why the shirtless pic?? who is getting fired now??

user: okay this joke has gone too far

yourusername: my babies

lewishamiton: maam i'm a grown ass man

yourusername: and??

view all 100,827 comments.

user: in the middle of the season?? he is down baddd

user: i'm dying, they are too cute

charles_leclerc: have fun on your trip!

mercedesamgf1: we miss you at the factory!

yourusername: no you don't

lewishamilton shared a story!

paddockgossipf1

Liked by user, f1wagss, f1gossipandwags and 23,973 others.

paddockgossipf1: lewis hamilton and y/n y/ln at the paddock amidst breakup rumours, it appears that she was a part of the hot lap portion of the events.

user: notice how they are never together alone and only smiling for the cameras? yeah we're so done

user: girl relax, take a pill, take a shower, take a walk

user: BUT ARE WE GOING TO GET THE VIDEO OF HIM DRIVING HER FOR THE HOT LAP

user: not gonna lie, they seem fine to me

user: BITCH THEY ARE FINE LOOK AT THEM

view all 3,287 comments.

user: i just know that she won't let him drive her around after this

user: it's so unfair for two good looking people of this caliber to be in a relationship

yourusername

Liked by lewishamilton, georgerussel63, mercedesamgf1 and 32,928 others.

yourusername: slightly over the speed limit, as always

user: LIFE ON THE HIGHWAAAY

user: omg girl famous last words rip

yourusername: you have no idea

yourusername: i should sue

user: OMG MOTHER

georgerussel63: the lad in the sunglasses looks good

user: NOT THE GEORGE CAMEO HI KING

lewishamilton: come on it wasn't that bad

yourusername: you are a maniac

lewishamilton: 🙁

yourusername: 🤍

view all 16,298 comments.

user: have they adopted george i need to know

user: poor roscoe has a new brother and he doesn't even know

[theminecraftbee]

the case of docm77 v zombiecleo: a very incomplete summary of events

i, of course, strongly recommend going to doc's video (or bdubs, cleo, joe, or skizz's, once they exist) and watching the whole thing for yourself i could NOT stop laughing. but for those of you who want a vague summary of some stuff that happens in the courtroom:

bdubs is insisting on being called "your highness" as opposed to "your honor".

we START with bdubs explaining he has set up a dramatic five-strike system; if either side gets five strikes (things that upset bdubs lol) he will "uh, not give them the death penalty, but--"

doc immediately tries to use this to take advantage of the system and get cleo strikes.

he instead accidentally immediately murders his own counsel.

it has been like One Minute.

"just in case anyone dies, there's a jury deliberation room under construction, there's a bed in there"

bdubs is paying everyone a diamond block for showing up if they listen to his judgement. help.

"thrust his sword into said swine" so skizz's opening speech is GREAT.

"wow, that was really good. but the camera is over here, so if you could do that again and look into the camera for me--"

"defense, first off, how do you plead?" (doc, grasping for his vague knowledge of american legal dramas) "i plead the fifth. i plead the fifth. uh. right?"

joe, in his opening speech: "this is esteemed around the world as a place where two adults who act like children can come to have their differences settled by you in the most entertaining manner."

HELP. "cleo is bringing to the court not an affair between two adults with an unsettled matter, but an adult and a large baby."

HELP IS JOE'S DEFENSE THAT DOC IS A LARGE BABY AND THEREFORE CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS ACTIONS.

joe: "you know, cleo has a lot of communication problems." bdubs, with great feeling: "yikes."

cleo, under her breath: "i'm gonna kill him."

"just a minute i'm setting up my lawyer", ren says, carrying the armor stand he had in the stands with him to the bench and putting false's head on it,

ren: "i cannot recall." bdubs: "YOU CAN'T RECALL WHAT HAPPENED?" ren: "i cannot recall if i cannot recall."

why is skizz doing a foghorn leghorn accent now,

skizz, about doc: "this is proof this man likes to intimidate, that he gets off on it." no one comments on this phrasing.

sorry ren making an armor stand falsesymmetry as his lawyer and companion in the stands is so funny.

"this is more evidence cleo is a poor communicator. she can't control her man--"

joe is very clearly just trying to make everyone in the room mad and it's really funny.

HELP. BDUBS BUILT A HEADS AND TAILS MACHINE TO DECIDE IF THEY'RE GOING TO ALLOW OBJECTIONS.

anyway it rolls tails so it overrules skizz's objection.

skizz's accent and vocabulary just keeps getting more and more exaggerated i think he's going for approximately benoit blanc,

beef: "he forcefully approached us and said he's the guy who wants all the wood." cleo and doc, snorting and giggling at this as one,

i feel like i should note that bdubs has a fireworks crossbow that he's calling his "whip" and hitting people with when they do something he considers wrong.

this leads me to wonder if bdubs thinks whipping is normal in a courtroom...?

i think its really funny that skizz is actively doing like, correct types and moments to do an objection, and it almost sounds like good lawyering, and then IMMEDIATELY bdubs goes "it's time to HEADS AND TAILS!!!" and breaks that illusion completely.

"well, it's heads, objection sustained, strike that from the record." joe: "well then i guess you'll never know what my point was." beat of silence. bdubs: "never mind, let's just add a strike, and you can say it,"

"i don't know how the esophagus entered this situation at all?" "let's pray it didn't. geez." "i was not thinking of doc's esophagus when i built the giant fish for his hourglass." <- this only barely makes more sense in context,

"no further questions your honor." "seriously???"

every time joe calls doc either a baby or a manchild is SO FUNNY. why is this his argument. it's SO FUNNY.

"but he has not proven mens rhea, which you your highness are very familiar with but for the viewers at home is not a gendered form of diarrhea--"

cleo, to doc: "doc are you sure you want to win this one?" doc, in clear and obvious distress: "i'm not sure of anything anymore man i just, i don't know,"

bdubs then interrupts to do the sponsored segment of court.

"the tall claims court is brought to you by!" bdubs puts a disc in. 13 starts playing. "shoot that's the spooky record. that's the worst one." he continues with his bamboo shop sponsored segment spiel anyway, with 13 continuing to play,

"i'm not going to ask for money, i'm just asking for a simple injunction against doc. he won't be allowed to use diamonds for redstone anymore." "WHAT??? THERE'S LIMITS TO THIS, OKAY????" "calm down doc, we're not gonna--" "WHAT NO WHAT CALM DOWN???"

"cleo i have to say that's way better than anything skizz said. skizz was talking and all i heard was bla bla bla bla bla but that was real heartfelt. if you're thinking about paying him, maybe don't."

doc: "i want to make peace and love that's all i care about i'm just a humble boutiquer"

"i felt like as her friend i needed to teach her what it feels like to lose something" i love how deranged that is doc keep going

"but it happened and i think i'm insane, right," doc says, then nods at joe.

"yeah this is really good" cleo responds, perfectly happy with the idea of doc declaring himself insane for no good reason,

cleo: "doc is just completely unhinged when people mess with his redstone, and i feel like my punishment would take away that emotional bond."

joe: "objection your honor, my client is unhinged in every context."

i like how this is "make fun of doc" day.

bdubs: "i'm going to deliberate quickly then i'll come back with my judgement." (turns around for like five seconds.) "and i'm back!"

HELP DOC HAS BEEN BANISHED TO A SINGLE BLOCK IN THE SKY WITH A CHEST ON IT FOR TWO WEEKS

THREE IF HE TOUCHES THE GROUND

AIR JAIL...........

bdubs adjourns court. doc, immediately: "WHAT THE HELL JOE??" "i did my best, man :/"

"DO YOU KNOW THE VEINS ON MY NECK ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE????"

jevin in the background of doc losing his shit just kinda murdering skizzleman for fun,

doc's main objection to the sky island is "BUT I HAVE THINGS TO DO :(((((("

doc ends the video standing here:

in conclusion: yeah this seems like a very fair trial with no ridiculous elements at all. very serious and befitting the sanctity of court. yes. you should watch it for a very serious hermitcraft experience,

[moonchild9350]

Pick You Up

Summary: Chan comes back from the gym complaining of sore muscles. You offer to give him a massage amongst other things.

Pairing: dom Chan x sub fem reader (soft dom reader for like 2 seconds)

Genre: smutt- this is a 18+ fic, MDNI

Word Count: 2511

Warnings: cursing, hand job, daddy kink, breeding kink, spanking, overstimulation, p in v penetration, creampie (wrap it up, wrap it up), cum swapping/cum eating...I think that's it

Note: This is inspired by Chan's bubble message saying he only works out to pick stay up. After he sent that message my mind went feral and this is the product. I think I wrote this is record speed lol Enjoy!

This is in no way how Chan is in reality. This is just for fun.

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

You knew your boyfriend Chan liked to work out. He goes diligently everyday with Changbin, the two letting their stress out that is built up from busy days in the recording studio by lifting weights.  Chan always said he didn’t feel like he was muscular, but you knew better.  You saw and felt those muscles every night when he would wrap his arms around you as you two fell asleep.  Nonetheless, you knew it was hard to change his mind once he thought a certain way. 

Chan was on his way back from the gym, having given you a call thirty minutes earlier, saying he was going to bring back dinner with him.  He walked in the door, kicking off his shoes and setting his gym bag down.  He walked over to you and gave you a kiss, as you were sitting on the couch watching TV.  He placed the food on the table.

“Hey baby girl, I brought dinner.  Wanna eat after I shower?”

“Yes babe, that’d be great. I’m starving!” you replied.

Chan chuckled at this and said, “Well I gotta feed my girl yeah?  Sit tight, I’ll be done shortly.”

You nodded at this and watched him walk towards your bedroom.  You heard the shower turn on and settled back in to watch your show. 

Not long after, he came back out.  He opened the take out and gave you yours.  He took his dish and sat down next to you.  While you guys ate, you asked about his gym session.  “Not bad, my muscles are killing me though,” Chan responded.  You hummed at this and said, “would you like me to give you a massage?” Chan considered this and agreed with a nod of his head.  “Well let’s clear this away and I can start your massage,” you responded.  You and Chan dropped the dishes in the kitchen and made the way to your shared bedroom.  

“Go ahead and sit down Channie,” you said.  Chan made his way to the bed and sat on the myriad of blankets littering the bed.  You sat behind Chan and started massaging the muscles in his neck.  At your touch, Chan sighed, relaxing and leaning back against you.  You slowly kneaded your hands into the tight muscles, taking your time.  There was silence as you worked, just the sound of the nightlife outside your window. 

“Feels amazing baby girl,” Chan grumbled out, letting his head fall back against your chest.  His eyes fluttered closed and he let off a sigh every now and then as you continued the massage.  Once you got to his sides, you took one of your hands and carefully brought it to his crotch.  You gently placed your hand on his cock and gave it a light squeeze.  Chan’s eyes flew open with your actions.  Chuckling, he asked, “What are you doing there baby girl?”  You shushed him and responded, “Just relax Channie, just want to make you feel good.”  At that Chan grinned and relaxed further into you, closing his eyes once more.  

You began rubbing his clothed cock, giving it a light squeeze every now and then. With each touch, you could feel his cock filling out the space in his shorts.  Chan groaned as you gave his cock a hard squeeze.  “Can you touch it baby girl? Go ahead and get daddy’s cock out.”  You reached your hand into Chan’s shorts and grabbed his cock.  It was warm and hard in your hands.  You rubbed your hand over his slit, gathering pre-cum, Chan hissing in the process.  You moved your hand up and down his shaft at a slow pace, placing wet kisses on his shoulders and neck. 

 “Does it feel good Channie?” you whispered.  

“It feels more than good baby girl.  Keep going, keep stroking daddy’s cock.”  You picked up the pace, jerking your hand, gathering more pre-cum to help the glide.  

Chan’s eyes fluttered at the feeling, sighing out with pleasure, as you worked his cock, bringing him closer and closer to the edge.  With each stroke, his breathing kicked up, his chest rising and falling with each breath. He thrusted up his hips, when he felt your other hand reach into his shorts and fondle his balls.  

“Yes baby girl, yes, so…so close, don’t stop.” 

With a hard squeeze of his balls, you whispered, “cum for me daddy.”  

“Fuu.. fuck,” Chan groaned loudly, muscles tensing, as he came hard, cum spurting out all over your hands.  You continued to stroke his cock, milking every last drop of cum, until Chan was hissing from the overstimulation.  You took your hand out of his shorts and licked up his cum, making sure to get every last drop.  

Chan turned his head and gave you a kiss, tasting the saltiness of his cum on your lips.  “It’s daddy’s turn now huh,” Chan whispered against your lips.  You nodded yes and kissed him again.  Chan guided you to lay down, your head resting on the pillows.  He pulled his shorts off before helping you get undressed, tossing the clothes on the floor. 

Chan grasped your breasts and started to knead them.  You shivered as he leaned down and blew on your nipples, causing them to peak.  Leaning down, he latched onto and suckled your nipple.  You moaned out, running your fingers through Chan’s hair.  He switched to your other nipple before trailing his hand down to your pussy.  You sighed as he slid his fingers through your folds, teasing you.  Gathering up some of your arousal, he brought two fingers to your entrance, sliding them in. He stretched you out with his fingers, dragging them in and out, before curling his fingers upward searching for that spot that drives you crazy.  You gasped out and gripped Chan’s hair tighter when he found that spot within you.  Chan smiled, as he continued to suck and knead your breast, while stroking your g-spot.  You were wiggling around as the pleasure became too much, feeling your high approaching. 

“Stay still babygirl, let me get you there.” 

You moaned and stilled your movements, tears pricking your eyes.  Chan brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing mercilessly, as he kept rubbing your g-spot.  You were a mess, babbling out, “daddy, daddy, I’m close.  Can I cum please? Please let me cum, please, please.” Chan cooed at your babbling, giving you a kiss, before saying, “Go ahead and cum, baby girl. Cum for daddy.”  Your head flew back on the pillows and you rocked your hips violently as you came around Chan’s fingers, chanting, “daddy, I’m cumming, daddy, ahhhh.” Chan continued to rub your clit, as you came down from your high.  

“You're daddy’s good girl, hm?” Chan brought his fingers covered in your arousal to your lips, “Open up baby girl, go ahead and taste yourself.”  

You opened your mouth, suckling his fingers covered in your arousal, moaning at the taste.  You licked every last drop before he pulled his fingers away, giving you a kiss. 

“Good girl, such a good girl yeah?”  

You hummed and whined at his praise.  “Want your cock. Can I please have your cock daddy?” 

“Baby girl, needs my cock?  I’ll give you my cock, but we’re going to try something different today, yeah?”

You whimpered at the suggestion, not caring about what he was saying, as long as it led to him burying his cock deep in your pussy.  He hummed and gave you a wet kiss before saying “Go ahead and sit up.”  Chan made to get off the bed.  You were a little confused at his actions, but listened anyway.  

“Daddy’s gonna lift you up ok.” You cocked your head sideways, “You’re gonna lift me up?” 

“Mmmhmm.”  Chan walked toward you, “wrap your legs around me baby girl.”  You stood up and wrapped your legs around his hips like he instructed. You then wrapped your  arms around his neck and held on tight.  

 His hands went to grasp your ass, giving it a squeeze.  “Ready baby girl? Ready for my cock?”  You shook your head, “Yes daddy, always ready.”  Chan took one hand to grasp his cock and slid you down onto it.  You moaned at how deep he went in this position.  Chan started to bounce you on his cock, nearly hitting your cervix with each bounce.  You were lost in pleasure, a babbling mess, chanting “daddy, daddy, daddy.”  

Chan looked at his love, watching the emotions flood through your face.  “How does that feel, baby girl? Feel daddy’s cock deep inside?” He walked you backwards so your back could rest against the wall before thrusting hard upwards into your pussy.  You wrapped your arms tighter around Chan’s neck, little ‘ah ah ahs’ leaving your lips as Chan pounded into you. You felt close to your high, as with each thrust, Chan’s neatly trimmed pubic hair brushed against your clit.

Chan leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours for a heated kiss.  He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.  He had sweat dripping down his face, down his back, your pussy just felt that good.  

“You know what baby girl?  I only workout so I can pick you up.  So I can pick you up and pound that sweet, tight pussy of yours.  So you can feel me deep inside…and fill you up.”  

You groaned at his confession, “So strong daddy..ahhh, I’m close, so close.” 

“Baby girl is close? Yeah? Go ahead and let go, let go for daddy.”  His dirty words were just what you needed, you let go, letting your orgasm take over, leaning your head back against the wall, and letting out a loud moan.  Chan leaned forward and kissed your neck, not stopping with his thrusts.  

When you finally opened your eyes, Chan gave you a smirk and said, “I’m not done with you yet.” He turned around and threw you on the bed and flipped you onto your hands and knees.  He kneaded your ass, spreading apart your ass cheeks before letting some of his spit drip down between your ass.  You moaned at the sensation, arching your back further, presenting your pussy for him.  Chan brought his hand down, giving your ass a slap before kneading the area to soothe the pain.  He repeatedly slapped your ass,  listening to you moan which each smack. When he was done, there were red marks where his hand landed, causing him to smirk. “If only you could see yourself.” 

He brought his fingers down to your pussy once more, running them through your folds.  You whimpered at his touch, feeling overstimulated from your previous orgasm.  Despite this, your arousal was steadily dripping down your thighs, and Chan noticed.  “Need my cock again baby? Once wasn’t enough for you?”

“Ne..need your cock again daddy, please, please, need to be full of you!”

He hummed at this and grabbed his cock.  He hissed at his touch, he cock rock hard,  needing his release.  He brought his tip to your entrance and slammed his cock into you, bottoming out in one thrust.  He began pounding into you, without giving you warning.  The sound of your ass hitting his pelvis and Chan’s moans resounded throughout the room.  

Chan grabbed your hands and brought them behind your back, pulling you up to his chest.  He continued pounding into you.  No sound came out of your mouth, your lips formed into an O, the pleasure beyond amazing.  “Are you daddy’s good girl? Letting me use you like this, letting daddy have your pussy in any way he likes.”  

You couldn’t respond right away, lost in the immense pleasure Chan was giving you.  You finally found the words after a moment, mumbling “Hmmmmm da..daddy’s good girl, yeah, yeah your good girl.  Want your cum daddy,” you babbled.  What you to fill me up, please fill me up, breed this pussy.”

“Yeah? Want daddy to fill you up? Breed you full?” Chan let your hands go, continuing to pound into you as you fell onto the bed, face buried in the pillows, moaning and mumbling.  He grabbed your hips, squeezing them, as he rutted into you, feeling his high approaching. “Here ya go baby, here’s my cum, here’s daddy’s cum.” He rutted into you one last time, pressing his hips against yours.  You felt his cum flood your insides, and whimpered at the feeling.  

Once Chan came down from his high, he flipped you over onto your back.  He took one look at you, tears running down your face, lips red from you biting them, and gave you a kiss.  “My good girl, such a good girl.  Let me clean you up, yeah?”  Chan scooted down your legs, opening them so he could fit in between them.  You could barely register his actions until you felt his hot tongue on your pussy.  You squealed at the stimulation, beyond overstimulated.  

“Gotta clean you up baby girl, hold still.” Chan opened your lips with his fingers and lapped at your pussy, licking up both his cum and yours.  Your hands went to his hair, pulling at the strands, causing Chan to moan.  Between his tongue on your pussy, and the vibrations from his moans, you came hard, your vision going white, hearing fuzzy, and legs spasming.  Finally Chan leaned back, mouth covered in both his and your cum.  He hovered over you and leaned down to give you a kiss.  You latched onto him, tasting his cum and yours on his tongue, moaning at the taste.  

Chan was the first to break the kiss.  He laid down next to you, pulling your limp body into his.  “How are you doin baby girl?” He pressed kisses on your neck and shoulder.  You mumbled something, not completely coherent.  Chan chuckled and squeezed you tighter to him.  “You did good, so proud of you.”  You hummed at his praise and carefully turned your body so you could face him.  You gave Chan a kiss and just rested in his embrace.  Before you knew it, you started to doze off.  Chan nudged you and whispered, “No falling asleep yet baby, we gotta get you cleaned up, for real this time.” You mumbled what he thought was ok.  

Chan got up to run a bath.  He filled it with your favorite bubble bath and lit the candles you liked.  He came back into the bedroom and scooped you up.  Once he got to the bathtub, he gently placed you in it.  You sighed at the feeling of the warm water on your sore muscles.  Chan got in and sat behind you pulling you close to his chest.  You snuggled into him, sighing in content in more ways than one.  Chan stroked your back gently, pressing a kiss to your head.  “What’s going through that head of yours hm?” 

You hummed and said, “you’re my strong Channie.”  At this Chan chuckled, “I guess so.”  You were in thought for a while and then said, “Channie, can we try that again some time?” 

Chan looked down at you and smiled, “Abso-fucking-lutely.”