#and firebars too

[rungian]

Tornado work challenge [impossible]

[weirdowithaquill]

Traintober 2024: Day 19 - Admire

Douglas Couldn't Help It!

Douglas smiled softly as he watched the station. It had been only a couple of years since his dramatic escape from British Rail and arrival on Sodor, but Oliver was already fitting in like a natural. The Great Western engine was an absolute social butterfly, able to charm the big engines with ease even as he made Duck laugh with all his in-jokes that only the two truly understood. He was admittedly still a little wary of the diesels - especially Bear and Daisy whose classes had worked around where Oliver had lived and replaced him and his siblings - but even then he was growing more confident around them with each passing day. 

“It’s nice being on Sodor,” Oliver had confided in Douglas. “Diesel and steam engines can live in harmony here without fear of one replacing the other.” Douglas couldn’t agree more, he himself feeling more at peace with the diesels on Sodor with each passing year. But the way Oliver seemed so relaxed and confident in himself, it made Douglas feel all sorts of things. Douglas couldn't help it! Oliver was so suave and witty and brave - how could he not admire him? 

As if on cue, a cheerful whistle blasted in the distance, and Oliver steamed in. Douglas puffed over, a broad smile already growing on his lips. “Hullo Oliver, how was yer run?” “Oh, hi Douglas,” grinned Oliver. Douglas felt like his fire was about to melt right through his firebars and fall all over the line. “The run was good - I don’t think I’ll ever get over how beautiful this line is!” “Aye, it is a fabulous little line, though I’m sure yer old line was also nice.” “Oh it was!” Oliver began, “but… then the diesels began to arrive, and we didn’t get to use the line as much. And that was after they replaced most of the Autocoaches with their Mark 1s… nasty, heavy things!” Douglas just hummed, a little dopily. Oliver chuckled, shooting Douglas a megawatt smile that went straight to the poor Scot’s boiler.

“I’ve got to go, and I think you do too,” grinned Oliver, already beginning back down the line with his train. Douglas blinked, and looked back. His guard was tapping his foot impatiently, and when he spotted Douglas finally paying him some attention, gestured to the trucks. Douglas went red with embarrassment and hurried to get back to work.

As he back down onto his trucks, Douglas looked over and spotted Mike sitting on the Arlesdale Railway’s tracks next to him. Mike was shooting Douglas the most disgusted look an engine could, his face scrunched up comically. “What?” “You’re besotted,” sneered Mike. “It’s pathetic to watch – just talk to him like a normal engine, ask him out if you have to! But stop gazing after him like he’s some damsel in a Hollywood film!” Douglas just sighed. “Ye'll understand ane day.” “No I won’t! Who would I even look at like that? Frank?! You’ve lost it, Douglas!” Douglas ignored the little pillarbox of an engine and steamed away.

Douglas worked hard all day, trying his best to find another time when his schedule matched up with Oliver’s so they could chat – only much to his dismay, it just didn’t happen. Poor Douglas was never in the right spot, and all he could do was watch as the cute Autotank vanished out of view with his passengers.

“Ah canae tak it anymore! Hou is it thon A keep missin Oliver by mere seconds?!” burst out Douglas to his twin that night. Donald snorted. “Ye're juist unlucky. Iver considerit playin cards - ye'd have more luck thare than i love!” Douglas rolled his eyes at his twin and went unhappily to sleep.

An entire week went by in this manner, with Douglas managing one or two short conversations each day where Oliver would leave him absolutely flustered and whining to his twin about the Western engine he had rescued. Donald indulged his twin with a wry grin, remembering similar conversations he’d had to listen to back in Scotland and back at Tidmouth.

Finally, Douglas managed to strike good fortune. On Saturday, he finished up his duties near Tidmouth, and convinced his driver to let him sleep there the night, so he could try strike up a conversation with Oliver again. But as he neared the shed, he heard voices – it was Oliver! And… Gordon?

“I mean, he’s just so strong,” sighed Oliver wistfully. “I suppose, though I don’t see the appeal personally,” came the reply. Douglas felt his boiler pressure drop. Who was Oliver talking about?

“I mean, have you seen him?” went on Oliver. “Especially at night! Watching him go by is a true sight.” Gordon snorted. “You talk like he’s me! Please, just because we—” Douglas reversed back down the line as fast as his wheels could carry him. Oliver liked another engine. Oh.

Oh no.

And Douglas knew who it was too – a strong engine who ran at night and Gordon could relate to? It had to be Henry! Gordon and Henry had shared a shape, and Henry hauled the Flying Kipper. It made so much sense, didn’t it? Of course Oliver would want someone like Henry, who was strong and caring and determined! And the two shared a shed too, so of course they had gotten to know each other well; and to think Douglas thought he had a chance.

Douglas managed to get James to agree to trade his late evening coal train – which was not that difficult, all things considered – and got as far away from Tidmouth as quickly as possible. He delivered the coal, then slept unhappily at Vicarstown.

Douglas didn’t say much for the next few days. He did his work, sighing quietly but still treasuring every smile Oliver sent his way. The Fat Controller had listened to his rather sudden request to help out on Edward’s branchline and agreed – for a few days at least, but all too soon Douglas was back on the Little Western.

Donald had noticed Douglas’ change of mood almost instantly, but waited a few days before confronting his twin.

“Richt, ye've been mopin aw week. Whit's wrong wi ye?” snapped Donald at the sheds. Douglas jumped, and looked at Donald for all of three seconds before gazing down at his buffers, a defeated look gracing the Caledonian’s features. “Oliver likes a different engine. A dinnae want tae get i the way thouch - A'm no some insane jealous idiot wha refuses tae see him happy without me thouch – e'en gin it's wi Henry. A'll juist admire him from afar an wait for these feelings tae gae away.”

Donald stared at his twin for a long, silent minute. He didn’t know what to say – Douglas believed, of all things, that Oliver liked a different engine. “Are ye sure?” he asked delicately. Douglas sniffled a little. “Ay, A overheard him at the sheds. He wis talkin tae Gordon aboot his crush. A'll be ok, juist... give me some time, aw richt?”

Donald agreed, and watched as his twin fell asleep. Then, he groaned aloud. “These twa idiots,” he grumbled. “A'm gaun'ae have tae talk tae Duck aboot this.”

Duck agreed with Donald. “Oliver’s been moping about Tidmouth too,” he huffed. “These two are as dumb as each other, I swear. We need to do something about it.” “Douggie wonae dae anythin - he's committit tae "just admirin him from afar" like some sort o chivalrous knicht.” “So it’ll have to be Oliver,” Duck realised. Donald agreed grimly.

These two would definitely need a push in the right direction – and thankfully, Duck knew exactly what to say…

“You’re an idiot and now Douglas thinks you like Henry.”

…Or maybe not.

“He thinks what? How?!” “He overheard you talking to Gordon about him and somehow misunderstood everything. The only reason I know is cause he told Donald, and I put ten and eleven together and figured out how dim-witted the pair of you are. Go ask that dumb Scot out already or I will dump you with Thomas.” “I get along fine with Thomas,” huffed Oliver. “He’s having another spat with Percy,” Duck replied with a groan. Oliver shuddered. The two still remembered the screaming match the pair had had in the middle of the Big Harbour a month back – it had been so bad that Gordon had to drag Thomas away while Henry held Percy back from chasing after the blue tank engine.

“Those two fight like cats and dogs,” sighed Oliver. “inconsistently and whenever it suits their fancy.” Duck couldn’t help but laugh, before pausing. “Don’t try and distract me – go ask Douglas out!” Oliver groaned, and puffed away to go do just that.

He found the Caledonian dozing in his shed up at Arlesburgh. Thinking quickly, Oliver convinced the signalman to let him roll onto the same line as Douglas, puffing right up to the Caledonian’s bufferbeam. Douglas opened a sleepy eye – and then bolted right awake.

“Oliver?!” “Hi Douglas. You know, I heard a very interesting thing today.” Douglas gulped, feeling his fire go cold. “O-oh?” Oliver grinned at the nervous engine, and smiled cheekily. “Oh yes – a birdie told me that you liked someone. And imagine my delight when I found out who.” Douglas listened intently – and then it sunk in. “Delichted? Are ye…”

Oliver smiled at the Caledonian, and rolled forwards until he buffered up to him.

“You’re an idiot, you know that? I like you, not some other engine. Strong, runs at night, saved me, blue like Gordon? It’s you.” Douglas just blinked dumbly, then groaned. “O course Gordon wad compare our paint juist sae he coud talk aboot himself!” “Of course,” agreed Oliver. “But I’d rather not hear you talk about other engines when we’re talking about us.”

Needless to say, Douglas was flushed bright red for the rest of the day and Oliver scored himself a Caledonian boyfriend.

Back to the Master Post

[liamthemarowak]

This is The fifth pic of the Mario movie prequel series. It was an exciting night at the pokemon obstacle course, and Meowscarada is hoping to win this pokemon warrior contest. "Ok, I need to win this, and I will never let any of my fans down!" Meowscarada said as she begins to complete the course. The fans are cheering for meowscarada as she tries her best. But, that one obstacle course that she struggles the most is the icy platforms because she could be worried if could fall off. "Woah, I better be careful and not to fall off!" meowscarada said as she tries not to fall off, but she did fall off and went into the water. "Oh dear, now that cost her a time loss to beat the time!" The commentator said. "Aw great, Now I need to be more faster, I got to beat that time!" meowscarada said as she swims to the ladder and climbs up. She has reached the goal, but she did not beat that time record. "Oh! She was too late to beat that record!" The commentator said. Just then, quaquaval appeared, and he was so pleased that Meowscarada didn't beat his record. "Nice try to beat my record! Better luck next time!" Quaquaval said. "I really need to train even more if I want to beat his time record, and I don't get knocked out of the tournament!" Meowscarada said. The next day, Meowscarada did her training run, when all of a sudden, when went to fast that she warped! "What's happening?! I'm going too fast that I'm going to warp somewhere!" Meowscarada said as she warped like the delorean from back to the future! Then, she warped to the castle, and she was so amazed about the look of it! "Wow, Maybe someone can help me train to win the pokemon warrior contest!" Meowscarada said as she went to the castle's entrance and knocks on the door. The door opened, and there was princess peach, looking at Meowscarada. Hey there Cute cat, How can I help you?" Peach asked. "Wait, you're peach, the one that got captured by that dragon creature." Meowscarada said. "Wait, you do know about me, and how I was got captured by bowser! But this time, Bowser wants to rule the mushroom kingdom soon, and one of the toads predicted it!" Peach said. "That's terrible, and even scary! So, do you have an obstacle course I can practice on? Because I need to beat Quaquaval's time, and get the trophy!" Meowscarada said. "Sure, But I'm saving it for the ultimate hero who can save the mushroom kingdom, so follow me." Peach said as Meowscarada followed peach to the obstacle course. At the obstacle course, Meowscarada can see loads of obstacles, and she was so amazed about it! "Wow, that's a good obstacle course you got there!" Meowscarada said. "Thanks, now let's being your training to win the pokemon warrior contest!" Peach said as Meowscarada gets ready to go through the course. Meowscarada tries to dodge the firebar, but it hit her, causing a time loss. Next, she would be able to dodge the bullet bills, but one bullet bill got her and she was zooming across the obstacle course. "Ugh, this cat needs to learn more." Peach said. On the final part, Meowscarada needs to make the jump, and she successfully made that jump, but the donut block let her go straight down. Meowscarada went back up, and needed to try again. "Well, Looks Like I need to try this again, but to be more better." Meowscarada said as she tries to do it again. She dodges the firebar, jumped on the bullet bills and even avoided the donut block. She reached the finish by attacking the wooden bowser figure by using her grass type moves. Meowscarada has now finished the obstacle course, and she was pleased about it! "Wow, you really did your training there Meowscarada! Now good luck winning the Pokemon warrior contest!" Peach said. "Thanks, Now I could fast warp back and beat quaquaval's time!" Meowscarada said as she uses her fast warp back. "Well, looks like I'm gonna set all of this back up and wait for the ultimate hero!" Peach said as she resets the obstacle course. This night, Meowscarada meet quaquaval, she was ready to beat his time. "So, are you ready to beat my time? Or are you going to lost this tournament?" quaquaval said. "Well, wait and see what I can do!" Meowscarada said. At the pokemon warrior contest, Meowscarada is prepared with a lot of training from peach. "Welcome back to the new round of the pokemon warrior contest! Our contestant Meowscarada is going to do this, but will she be able to win the contest, or get kicked out?" The commentator said. Meowscarada goes forward and tries her best by dodging and jumping, but she was so speedy there! "Woah, she sure has a lot of speed to beat that record!" The commentator said. Then Meowscarada finished the course and beaten the record! "She had broken the record, she is now the champion of the pokemon warrior contest! quaquaval was very shocked on Meowscarada has beaten his time. "H-how did you manage to beat my time?" quaquaval asked. "Well, I was trained by that princess of the castle, and she took me to her obstacle course and I trained there very well." Meowscarada said as she hold's her trophy up in the air. "Well, I'm gonna beat you next time!" quaquaval said as he looks at Meowscarada with his arms folded. Confetti went down to the ground for Meowscarada's victory.

Pokemon Belongs to Nintendo and Game Freak

The Super Mario movie belongs to Nintendo, Universal and illumination

Super Mario Belongs to Nintendo

[djfadeinthemix]

Celebrating the last #FridayNight of 2019 #TONIGHT at @lumberbaronsbrew @stables_firebar #FireBar #BayCity! It’s #FridayNightLIVE with #DjFade! #Club #musicvideos #inthemix! #LiveBand @hipakritz1 rockin #TheStables too! On #MidlandStreet! #tgif #ladiesnight #girlsnight #dj #pioneerdj (at Lumber Barons and Stables) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6l9PrKJa7U/?igshid=1cn80dkaerri0

[superwolfiestar]

The Son of the King Ch. 15

When they went inside, a bunch of minions storm and charging at them. Launchpad soon jumped off of Manny's back and decided to hold off the knights while they would stop King Zeus and save Boy Princess Donald. The triplets and Webby decided to stay behind with him.

"Guys!" Della, Panchito and Jose called out and were about to get them.

"Go! Go! Boy Princess Donald needs you, go! We meet you there later!" Launchpad told them.

Panchito then nodded and left with the others. They soon attacked the minions. The minions were taken by surprise, but they soon fought back against Launchpad, Huey, Dewey, Louie and Webby.

Panchito, Jose, and Della have to face many official curse on the way. They started down the castle corridor filled with tricks and traps. The first one was a long lava pit filled with lava bubbles. Bricks were scattered over the lava pit so they could get across. That is if they could avoid the lava bubbles. Panchito jumped the gaps and avoided the lava bubbles with ease. Jose followed his lover and nearly got his tail singed off while Princess Della follow them.

A lava bubble had just popped up out of the lava right in front of their face, illuminating their surprised and scared expression. But as soon as the lava bubble popped up, it fell back down with a splish. They quickly hopped over the gap and onto the safety of a stone ledge where Panchito stood.

"That was a close one," Panchito said.

"No kidding," Della replied.

"Let's get going. We've got no time to lose!"

"Okey-dokey." They smiled and continued on their journey to save Boy Princess Donald. They jumped lava pits and avoided firebars as they continued through King Zeus's final castle. The two Caballeros got an fire flower at some point, but both lost it when they made their way up platforms to escape being burned by firebars.

"Darn it! I was hoping to use that against King Zeus," Panchito said.

"It would have been useful," Della added. "But we'll make it. I hope."

"That's the spirit! Now, let get going. We're almost there, I can feel it."

Soon they made it to platforms that, when stepped on, would plummet down to the lava. They continued through the castle, but right before they made it to a solid stone ledge where a green pipe sat, Doofus camp right out of the pipe with his magical paintbrush, cackling.

"Doofus! So you’re the one that kidnap Donald!!" Panchito shouted as he landed on the ledge, surprised at Doofus sudden arrival.

"Yeah, y-you evil child!" Della stammered and landed next to Panchito on the stone. She tried her best not to sound scared, but something about Doofus unexpected appearance didn't seem right.

"You won’t take Boy Mama Donald away from me," Doofus replied, a smug expression on his face. Then he began to wave his paintbrush, a green light appearing on the end of it.

"Oh no," Jose started. But he had no time to finish. Panchito was hit full force on the chest with whatever spell Doofus had conjured on his magical paintbrush. He flew into the wall on the other side of the green pipe and slid down slowly like someone would in a cartoon. He was sure there were stars circling his head.

"Panchito! Are you alright?" Jose asked, shocked at what Doofus had done. “I’m fine but right now, you will have to go and stop King Zeus by yourself now! We will catch up to you later! Don’t worry, me and Della got this. Now go, go!”

And with that, Jose nodded his head hopped into the green pipe, determined to rescue the boy princess.

“Now it just is and you Doofus!” Panchito was the first to attack. He whipped Doofus in the face with his tail. Doofus, not hurt by the attack, picked Panchito up by the tail and threw him across the arena.

Doofus laugh as he was suddenly immediately pick up by Della. “Didn’t your parent teach you that it is rude to fight a adult? No? Well I guess it’s time to teach you a lesson kid!” She drop him on the ground and knuckle her finger and her neck as Doofus look totally afraid of her.

Jose fell out of the pipe onto a large platform. He roused himself to his feet only to realize that he was sinking. The platform that he was on was one he had encountered earlier with Panchito and Della.

“Panchito… Della ...”

But there’s no time to be worry as Jose looked around him and saw that there was lava slowly sinking with him. But slower than the platform. He found another and hopped onto it before he got his butt burned.

He jumped to a different platform once the one he was one got a little too close to the lava for his liking. He continued to do this, grabbing some coins along the way, until the lava revealed a red pipe.

That must be where I have to go next, Jose thought as he jumped from his sinking platform to the red pipe. Alright, Boy Princess. I'm coming. he slid himself down the pipe, which led him to a room. In the room were a checkpoint flag and a spiked green pair of double doors with torches on either side. A stone King Zeus head with fire inside the hollow sculpture was placed over the door.

“Jose!” He heard a voices coming behind him as he saw Launchpad, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Webby and Manny. Jose was so happy to see them and so glad that they’re okay.

“Guys! Obrigado senhor that you all are alright!” He said as they ran and stand in fine tof him.

“Yeah,” said Webby. “There are a lot of them but we’re managed to fight back!”

“Hey! Glad you all are okay!” They turn and look to see Princess Della and Panchito running toward them. “We’re able to defeat that little trouble maker and teach him a lesson.” said Della.

The gang then stood on the tall metal door.

"Well, this is it. The final battle. Boy Princess Donald, hang on because we’re on our way. Well, here we go!"

Panchito gripped the cold metal rings on the doors and opened them, revealing a long hallway.

“Okay”, Panchito said to the other, taking a deep breath. “Let do this.” They all stepped into the hallway, the doors creaking on their hinges until a small crash was heard, signaling that they were closed.

[pattismithpoet]

mirza

My grandfather was the village potter. He was also the keeper of a famous stream. It was said to have curative powers, and people came from great distances to fill tiny bottles to wear around their necks. All about were trees. The willow curving above the tiled roof of my grandfather's house. The cypress heading the garden at stream's end and just beyond, past the workshed, the dense blossoming of his orchard. In summer the blossoms fell, carpeting the earth. In autumn the golden fruit followed, fragrant and sweet. The people, having filled their bottles, would buy the fruit and my grandfather's wares. His bowls were especially prized. All of his love fused in their uncommon glaze. Each imperishable, unique.

On the eve of my fourteenth year, he sent a messenger with gifts and a letter requesting that I come and serve as his apprentice. I would learn all that he knew and one day inherit his land and continue his work. My father agreed, and the next morning, as my mother wept, I packed my sack, called my dogs, and said my farewells. It was a long way and the messenger and I returned on foot, in silence. My dogs ran on ahead in chase of a hare. As we approached the familiar stream I too broke into a run. The evening's last light heightened the beauty of the woodland, the orchards and the surrounding hills, and I could not contain my joy. I arrived at my grandfather's door flushed and road weary. He welcomed me with a bowl of warm milk and thick sour bread. I could not help thinking that soon I would be drinking from my own bowl turned by my own hand.

That night my dreams were invaded by the baying of my dogs. I dreamed of the forest, the stream and sky. I dreamed everywhere I ran the earth was my own. The next morning I began my studies. I worked hard. The days bled into seasons. I was happy there. My dogs ran free and I was experiencing new sensations, the most consuming being the power I felt when I threw at the wheel.

The seasons bled into years. My grandfather spent a lot of time in space. He would sit for hours in the garden and stare until something in his line of vision would disintegrate, break into a thousand tiny flashes and just disappear. I watched his progress from a small opening in the potters shed. A rock, a bush, and then, to my great horror, his favorite dog. After that he stayed in the garden all of the time--even at night.

One morning I sat before him and our eyes locked. Remembering the dog, I held on. His eyes were like violet flowers--centuries of love and death seemed to swirl in their purple depths. Mine were white--untested, pure. Our energies met full force, but I was younger and stronger and he collapsed. After that I avoided his eyes. I kept my dogs penned in a nearby field, and in a corner of the shed I nursed Mirza, an orphaned whelp, the only surviving trace of my grandfather's favorite dog.

I loved my grandfather,      but I loved my life more. I spent a lot of time in the hills with Mirza, searching the caves for new deposits of clay. Soon I would be a man, I would have my own kiln, be my own master. My grandfather remained in the garden, an almost discarnate fixture. I continued my work.

On the morning of my eighteenth year I extracted a special bowl from the kiln. I delighted as always in the birth process of my wares. A firebox provided the heat which passed up through the firebars into the pottery chamber, the chamber of clay dying with the solid birth of the object. Demolishing the temporary structure, I scraped away the dead clay and turned the bowl in my hands--a gift for Mirza. Destruction and creation commingling in a single piece. Something welled up inside me as I placed the bowl before Mirza, and her eyes, violet and wide, seemed to tell me it was good.

That same evening, my grandfather vanished. The people of the village gathered with their torches and searched the field and forest. They never found him. It was my opinion, though I told no one but Mirza, that he had turned his gaze inward and consumed himself. I formed an urn in his memory and applied a special glaze, an almost unholy shade of purple, to match my grandfather's eyes. I set it in the garden where he once sat. I noticed visitors averted their eyes when passing it.

All that had been my grandfather's came into my hands. And I reached beyond him, extending into sculpture. I formed cherubs, statues, monoliths. My fame grew; my wealth increased. Life was good. I was strong and healthy. I could have my pick of the village girls. Yet I dwelled on the outskirts of my own prosperity. I preferred to be alone with Mirza and my new dog, a wolf cub I found in a cave while searching for clay. In time he became my constant companion. Mirza would lie by the urn, regarding us with a mixture of sadness and reproach. But I was too restless to comfort her. I let her draw comfort from the peace of the garden while I went hunting with my wolf dog.

The village widows, bred on superstition, warned me against him. He was a wolf, an agent of evil. I only laughed. He was but myself--a loner with an unapologetic, lively nature. He reveled in his solitude, as did I. At day's end, when the last of the light highlighted all the beauty that was now mine, I stood and surveyed it with greedy pleasure. I opened the store of wine; I drank with abandon. Within me was a burning. "I am my own kiln," I cried. I conjured waves of light, arms, torsos that became infamous mold in my hands. I danced upon the low wood tables as my beast howled. It was our joy.

On brilliant nights we emerged from the shed to dance in the moonlight, only to find Mirza hovering over our joy like an old Greek nurse. She was like the women in the village and I took to treating her as I treated them, with contempt. Perhaps my wolf felt this from me, because he too was showing signs of hostility toward her.

Mirza, who I had rescued with such care from my grandfather's gaze. Who I had fed from a bottle, brushed, and caressed. Who I had whispered all my youthful hopes and desires. But I was no longer a youth, but a man. And she no longer a pup, but a stinging grandmother. Every race is conquering. She was killed by my wolf dog. She already belonged to the past, sympathetic, beyond dignity. She was lying there under the cypress tree pouring syrup from her clock. The spring in the back of her neck was clear and sweet. I don't know. I never drank from it. Nor did I pass long in those eyes, as necessary as the glasses for a 3-D movie. She was sympathetic. In the remote soil of her eyes were the ruins, the arcades, the archways of history.

The women beat my wolf. They demanded his skin but I could not kill him. He was more myself than dog. That idiot smile. He cowered when he saw me but bared his teeth. In a rage I cut them, humiliating him. I penned him up. I put him out to run with the old women. The women with rattles in their chests. I no longer went out to hunt. I longed to run with him, share his humiliation. Maybe I loved him more than before. I grew weak. The lore of fathers. I watched him, lying beneath the cypress tree. When the sky was heavy with almonds. When the sun beat down. When the fanwise invasion of wind whistles in the mouth. He lies there. His eyes, that were white and burning, now remote and sympathetic; resting directly on the future with the sticky sweetness of a clock.

Several nights after I had filed the teeth of my wolf I noticed the atmosphere shifting around me. I seemed to identify with everything. I was the foundation, the sticky coil of a vase. I was odorless stacks of fresh-fired plates, the cold stone of the kiln. It was impossible to work. Rolling the coils was the worst. They became alive in my hand. The lovely unrelenting statues would undulate in smoke. The freshly molded huntress waved her wrists, and I could discern her hips rotating sweetly beneath her girdle of soft wet clay. With a rope and pulley I laid her against the wall.

I was sweating and shivering and she was beckoning. I pressed my lips against her melting face, the coils of her hair squishing between my eager fingertips. I became addicted to a paste of almond meal and paregoric, of humping and shattering art. My trade suffered. Tourists and holy men sought vessels--souvenirs of the graced grounds where my dogs ran in packs. I suffered, passing for hours on a bed of dust, tormented with lust for objects, walls, and an intense craving for a sweet and sticky gas to blot me out. The dogs were wilder than ever. I couldn't breathe. The women had a special tea sent to me.

Then a new shift. The sensation of invasion by a palpitating fist of warm light. The tea was sweet. At the bottom of the glass was a colorless grape. In a few hours it turned. I put it in the glazed bowl I had made for Mirza. It suddenly dominated the room. It was a breast with a sore and poking nipple, the oiled bottom of a slave. I lay on my stomach, my heart pounding against the stone floor--my sex obliterated by objects--the bowl grew still larger. The vibrating grape split and revealed a white snake. Someone had eaten a portion of it. Something was alive and wriggling inside of me. My belly swelled like the cheeks of a glass-blower. I couldn't move. The pain increased into the sound of wailing curses. The women entered, circled, and shook their rattles. Montage of trees, bowl, and canine teeth. Who would feed my wolf... The sting of relief won out. I lay there conscious only of the motion of my head rising, of lips to a glass or a stream of powder entering my vein. When at last the fever subsided I rose with a start. I dressed in a simple suit of cloth stuff and inspected everything. The statues and vessels had been preserved with wet sheets.

Nothing lost. Everything was blooming, the air vibrant and sweet. I found my wolf dog lying in the garden. Perhaps he had shared my fever as he had once shared my joy. But no one had cared for him and he was hardly more than a shadow, a translucent coat of fur stretched beneath the cypress tree. I called for a boy to fetch a syphon and the bowl that had once belonged to Mirza. I remembered the spring and drew from it. I had never drunk from it but the waters were legendary. I dipped from them and poured between his filed teeth. I felt woozy. I laid my head upon the coat of my wolf dog and slept.

Idiot rule. The big tree fucks the small grass. Tomorrow I am a tadpole, an insignificant shell. But this afternoon I pass for a long time dreaming and feeling a thrill to the kill of Mirza. To a time when my young wolf dog was mad with the projection of the human personality.

from Living with the Animals, edited by Gary Indiana, New York: Faber & Faber, 1995 Copyright © Patti Smith 1995

Polaroids by Andrei Tarkovsky

[inkbenjii]

"Not you too" #venicetales #freeart #inkjoi #blastiose #hypnosis #dynamicpunch #firebars https://t.co/fkYqf54T28 https://t.co/gnH2d24ZdG

"Not you too" #venicetales#freeart#inkjoi#blastiose#hypnosis#dynamicpunch#firebars https://t.co/fkYqf54T28 http://pic.twitter.com/gnH2d24ZdG

— Benji Ink (@InkBenji) February 7, 2017

from Twitter https://twitter.com/InkBenji February 06, 2017 at 11:57PM via IFTTT

[glopratchet]

gator-weapons

apons Quick aim vs slow aim Throw a fence post at your opponent and watch them fly Golf ball baseball bat, you name it The only thing that can stop the Green Goblin is YOU! Fence post or pole: The norm in your fight with the Goblin is you grabbing a metal object from one of your destroyed fence constructions and throwing it at the goblin Spear About half way through the fight, you'll pick up a long metal pole laying on the ground nearby Lance If you finish off goblin with a lance instead of a spear, then you'll suffer the other side of that pitiful creature's nature Long lance This can only be acquired by sticking with the spear for a LONG time After acquiring one of these weapons Spirit blade Goblin's spout some sort of demons which you have to destroy before you can move in for the kill Fire blade That's right, THE WIDOW MAKER COMETH! Dual blades Why hit a person when you can hit everything around them? Saws hey, walls make for good protection against your crazy gadgets Plug those holes: not hair filled gaps in your bathroom walls but the REAL adversaries to springing a Switch axe- incredibly versitile can chop down monsters of all types, can be used to attack at range or up close finishing off the last bits of goblin goo sticking to your armor Boomstick-so you like explosions-- who doesnt--swing this around a bit and watch your foes stubble That'll shut em up-the last shotgun of its kind shoots off one last round before All your opponents will endure a glorifed explosize demise *RIIIP* Handcuffs: all of Mr Wilkinson's police force was a tad upset to find him missing some handcuffs, your fault Elemental--more situational- greater damage potential and fire, an elemental with explosive force Brimstone-Dark Slayer -well intentioned demon slayers , who would hate a bunch of meddling do gooders If match alligators elemental weakness for water drown them, if not then fire will do If you've ever wanted to kill an ogre with a wiffle bat then here you go Foundmental--great for general use /display, fundamental swords for the budding collector Eternal--the complete set looks pretty awesome when paired upon your wall , enjoy admiring them from time to Deal large amount of impact damage in addition can easily break armor Katana--uses less metal so easier to honed, designed to be used by one hand but some hefty fighters can use Boom-boomstick expell a powerful burst of energy but be warned using it too much will for some reason cause your own body to explode burning the whole place down along with you Secondary button appears which lets you send off a intail charge of fire shoot out the front of The Red Baron for example Firebar--sweet flames, burninate all in your path Globhammer --crush, smash, writhe with this smashing hammer Slow clumsy mess around weapon? Sheer simpicility and brute strength- make the monster see stars and stripes Delivery jam --walmart special straight to you by usps Get off your order , get off, get off here! Bee drone - take flight with a killer bee buzz? Fire a marker round to mark your location and then blast your target Incoming threat? that certain SOMETHING watching you? Bee flies in the general direction of the threat Certainly not royal pains in the neck Platinum--shiny is cool Point and click to shoot straight, can also be used to insult crow Does not guarentee it will hit the correct spot though Long barreled- no hazzle having to turn around when in a tight corridor THE LAW: Point it at someone and they are going down Bone glaive --really large thrusting weapon, throw it with a big sling Gladiator--we think Caracals would look good on your wall, this is their main Gather pheromones to attract bees Disguised as medals hang these on your wall to commemorate victories It's a big gun, perfect for bounties Speed nectar or speedy gonzalez allows you to run super fast just like a cheetah IT'S A FREAKING FLAMETHROWER! Dragon nectar - get this and fire will be your friend, burn bridge during tournaments to intimidate opponents or just scare the crap out of that one weird kid who lives next store Ice nectar --turn power off of enemy frames, freeze them in place Amusingly pour it near a anthill to see formicids and ant people fear your might Increase attack power dramaticly, though if you get hit you'll lose this bonus Sometimes thrown- dont know where they find these giant blimps but its fun to shoot at Speed up attacks by stomping the ground, trap or basic attacks, unload a full auto burst at enemy frame Pierce straight through or cause shrapnel to harm others around Improve jumping height and distance Could you imagine being a slig tethered to one of these things and trying to direct it Throw these into groups of moas or people for Some chariots cant go to some places some weapons cant hit some targets, troll yours over to fill the gap in Healing salve--heal yourself with it, only works on borg Unshakeable skill - you will never be knocked over during a bor battle; (well unless another borg rams him into you) Kill something then get full life Light weight lets you disburse tackles, Minor wind resistance mean you can keep up with unis Pesky unis, shoot em' with bolas Explodes on impact- Amusing though not too practical Mid grade earplugs reduces the volume of most weapons Of course this is just a prop, you should really go out and get the real thing Should be big enough to shut Impact aka ko damage is an instant knockout on unis Kill or stpin unis in place They won't notice you using these unless they are close enough to do a ram King of constant damage best get it by itself as most other weapons require ammo Typhoon--slower firing but deady explosive that ti mes how long fuse is Con Because its easily to hide out of every attack Brought to you by DONALD DUCK You see a strange flying thing zipping by overhead Hey Aggressive and offensive playstyle where you dance circles around the alligator out maneuvering it and firing from every possible angle, your successes depending on its mood that day Most effective in multiplayer games Some boomsticks can use the environment to there advantage too, using tripwire to immobolize alligators in a setting to maximize boomstick effectiveness The only boomstick which can perform a mount attack while going up a ledge mounts attach spikes to it's wheels which you can press a button to detach and retract, using the force of the wheels rotation against itself to flip the alligator Sacirfice stleath for all out offense maximize quad damage, health and ram damage in exchange for less effective health kits Light armor that lets the alligator move quicker, used in two styles, The defination of a purelty offensive approach each armor pickup gives you speed and minor damage increase, but no armor, while aggressive let's you wear heavy armor and traspandant barding but decreases but give you more freedom of choice to the point where you can snipe with it Difficult to use properly A bit gimmicky aiming with the mouse and controlling the crosshair let's you use this mid to long ranged shotgun effectively The true deliveror of the swamp barrage of bullets and don't waste inmissi and ofe the calm gone withi screams light peaceful st kzzzt sweet silence You awaken in a med tent, different from the one you had befre, this one is of better quality You assume Malcom must have saved up As you look around, you notice a few certain objects that make you shudder with worry sprawled across one of the tables is a ravaged book, your diary, ripped and chewed apart by intense fang and claw You surrond yourself with your calm, finding immense interest in the ceiling Trying to shrug it off, you put you mind to wonder What if that was it? What if the beast had woken up? You can't imagine it's wrath, what it could do to the island

[steampunkfan]

EOFire’s April 2017 Income Report

April 2017 Income At-A-Glance

Gross Income for April: $195,482

Total Expenses for April: $65,237

Total Net Profit for April: $130,245

Difference b/t April & March: -$242,434

Why We Publish An Income Report

This monthly income report is created for you, Fire Nation!

By documenting the struggles we encounter and the successes we celebrate as entrepreneurs every single month, we’re able to provide you with support – and a single resource – where we share what’s working, what’s not, and what’s possible.

There’s a lot of hard work that goes into learning and growing as an entrepreneur, especially when you’re just starting out. The most important part of the equation is that you’re able to pass on what you learn to others through teaching, which is what we aim to do here at EOFire.

Let’s IGNITE!

CPA On Fire’s Monthly Tax Tip

What’s up Fire Nation, my name is Josh Bauerle. I’m a CPA and the Founder of CPA On Fire, where we specialize in working with entrepreneurs to minimize their tax liability while keeping them in line with the ever-changing tax laws.

I’ve been working with EOFire for years now, and John and Kate have included me in these monthly income reports with unlimited access to all their accounts so I can verify that what they report here is complete and accurate.

And because they believe in delivering an insane amount of value to you, my job doesn’t stop at the verification level; I’ll also be providing tax and accounting tips to you along the way!

Josh’s April Tax Tip: The FAQ’s Continue!

Alright Fire Nation, as you can imagine I am asked a TON of tax questions this time of year.

So for the next few months we are going to do something a little different and I’m going to give you FAQ-style answers to the questions I’ve been asked most frequently this tax season!

Should I Incorporate my Business in Delaware (or another business friendly state)?

This is easily one of the most misunderstood topics I see with business owners – and for good reason.

There’s a lot of terrible information out there from people who want to charge you a lot of money to set up your business in these supposed “tax friendly” states.

I’ll keep this short and simple… You have to incorporate your business in the state you are operating the business from.

For almost all of you, this will be the state you live in. It doesn’t matter if your business only exists online… if you are operating your online business from your home, you are required to register in your state.

Not only will incorporating in a state other than your own save you no taxes, it will also cost you more money as you will be required to incorporate again in the state in which you live.

Just say no to the terrible advice out there telling you to form your business in a state other than your own!

I’m traveling the world, and part of it is for business. What part of the flights can I deduct?

I got this question a lot this year, and it’s a symbol of just how great the current entrepreneurial world is!

People are setting up location independent businesses with business contacts all over the world, they are using their flexibility to travel, and they are writing off some of those travel costs as business expenses.

Pretty awesome right?

But the tricky part is figuring out what parts of that travel are tax deductible (in the case that not all of the travel is for business purposes.)

The big portion of the costs people wonder about are the flights.

The key here is that the flight has to be going directly to the location used for business to be deductible. So what I see happen a lot is that people will fly into one spot for personal reasons, fly to another spot for business, and then return home.

The flight directly to the business location is a clear deduction. But what about the flight to the first location?

You would have needed a flight from the US to get to the business location so it seems logical a portion of the initial flight would be deductible.

Unfortunately, it isn’t.

The ONLY portion of flights you can deduct are ones that go directly to or from the business locations.

The second big expense people wonder about is lodging.

This ones even easier. The lodging expenses at your business locations are deductible. Anywhere else isn’t.

And finally, what if you took your entire family along and not just yourself?

In this case, you can separate costs per person – such as flights and meals, etc – and you would only deduct your costs.

For shared costs, such as lodging, rental cars, and so on, you can deduct the FULL amount because you would need those items with or without your family there.

Deducting travel like this is one of the amazing parts about owning a business, but you have to be very careful to deduct only the costs you are legally allowed.

One final note here: simply working on your computer while traveling does not making your travel business related!

Thanks, Fire Nation, for another amazing tax season. It was a long and busy one, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Keep those tax questions coming and lets make 2017 your best year yet!

And as always, please feel free to contact me if you’d like to discuss what would be best for YOUR business. I LOVE chatting with Fire Nation!

*Bonus* If you haven’t checked out Josh’s FREE course on business entities yet, you can get it here!

What Went Down In April

FireUP Debuts

Two years ago we spoke at Tropical Think Tank in the Philippines. This conference was unlike any other we’ve ever been to; Chris Ducker really knows how to throw a party!

At that conference we had the opportunity to meet and spend an entire week with about 50 other entrepreneurs, both speakers and attendees of the conference. One of those attendees was JC Bougle.

About a year after Tropical Think Tank, JC reached out to us and proposed an idea: what if we got together and created a suite of apps that would help entrepreneurs increase conversions on their website to get more leads and customers.

It wasn’t too long after that proposal that we got to work creating just that, and it’s called FireUP.

FireUP allows you to customize 3 apps on your website: the FireBar, the FireBox, and the FireGate, and we’re currently testing all of these apps out on PodcastersParadise.com and EOFire.com.

It’s completely free to get started; offers integrations with email and CRM providers like Infusionsoft, MailChimp and AWeber; and there’s an option to upgrade for enhanced customization and unlimited opt ins.

Head over to FireUP.co to sign up today!

What do you do with your money?

This is a question we’ve been asked a few times over the past couple of months, and today, we’re answering it!

We create these income reports to provide you with a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to run a successful business: our wins, losses, money in and money out is all out on the table.

What we don’t always talk about is what happens to the net revenue we earn every month.

The short answer…

A lot happens, and if you’ve read the book Profit First, you probably have a pretty good handle on how we manage our money.

The longer answer…

We have a few main categories for the money we earn, and those buckets are (in no particular order):

Investments and savings

Salaries

Taxes

Business

Giving

Investments (and savings) include things like our home here in Puerto Rico, our Hyundai Santa Fe we bought in May 2016 (both of which were paid for in cash), and our stocks and portfolios (these make up our savings).

Salaries include the money paid to myself and John as individuals, which is then invested in everyday necessities like food and paying the bills, and also on all the fun stuff, like trips, experiences and other activities.

Taxes has been a big one for us, and the reason you don’t see it on our income report is because once our net revenue is actually considered net, it passes to John as an individual. So EOFire isn’t paying taxes, John Lee Dumas is paying taxes. In 2015 alone, we paid over 1 million dollars in taxes.

Business expenses are everything you see here in our income reports: paying our virtual team, monthly recurring costs for the software and tools we use, payments to our extended team (contractors and retainers), advertising, website development, and so on…

There’s one more bucket, and that’s what we give. In 2016, we donated $75,000 to Pencils Of Promise on behalf of those who invested in themselves and bought The Freedom Journal. We also donated over $1,500 to an organization called Front Row Foundation, which helps individuals and families who are braving critical health challenges.

In 2017, we’ve already donated $10,000 on behalf of those who supported The Mastery Journal campaign, and another $20,000 to various causes that are important to us.

A Full House (and month!)

We literally had a full house (and month!) in April, including speaking at a 25-person mastermind put on by Mark and Krista of American Posture Institute (Puerto Rico Masterminds), and:

A month-long visit from my parents; an overlapping week with John’s mom, sister, niece and friend; and another overlapping week with my aunt & uncle.

Puerto Rico Masterminds was a HUGE hit; Mark and Krista put together an incredible experience not only for their attendees, but also for us as speakers.

From our sunset sail in the San Juan harbor, to John’s first ever talk given in his bathing suit at the pool, to a party bus that was literally hoppin’, this weekend is one we’ll never forget!

Great news: Puerto Rico Masterminds will be a twice per year event put on by Mark and Krista, so if you’re interested in attending a future event be sure to keep your eye on PuertoRicoMasterminds.com!

The mastermind was quickly followed by all the company and all the parties, and we had an absolute blast showing our families around Palmas, sharing our crazy weekly get togethers with them, and experiencing a lot of first-time trips together, including:

A visit to Hacienda Munoz, a coffee plantation just down the road in San Lorenzo

A trip to the beach in Naguabo

A day on Flamenco Beach in Culebra

A half-way-around-the-island drive to see Ponce

As we come up on our 1 year anniversary here in Puerto Rico, our adventures in both business and life continue. We’re so grateful to have a community of like-minded individuals who live here in Palmas, and our families and friends who come to visit to share it with!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 2017 Income Breakdown*

Product/Service Income: $138,509

TOTAL Journal sales: 1,178 Journals for a total of $43,609

The Freedom Journal: Accomplish your #1 goal in 100 days!

TheFreedomJournal.com: $7,552 (137 Hardcovers & 46 Digital Packs sold!)

Amazon: $16,056 (472 Freedom Journals sold!)

Total: $23,608

The Mastery Journal: Master Productivity, Discipline and Focus in 100 days!

TheMasteryJournal.com: $9,208 (171 Hardcovers & 48 Digital Packs sold!)

Amazon: $10,793 (304 Mastery Journals sold!)

Total: $20,001

Podcasters’ Paradise: The #1 Podcasting community in the world!

Recurring: $19,388 (4 annual, 206 monthly)

New members: $12,557 (30 new members)

Total: $31,945

Podcast Sponsorship Income: $57,750

Podcast Websites: $5,000 Your all-in-one podcast website peace of mind

Free Podcast Course: A free 15-day course on Podcasting

Free Webinar Course: A free 10-day course on Webinars

Free Goals Course: A free 8-day course on Setting & Accomplishing Goals

Funnel On Fire: A free 8-day course on Creating a Funnel that Converts!

Podcast Launch: Audiobook: $184 | eBook: $21

Affiliate Income: $56,973

*Affiliate links below

Resources for Entrepreneurs: $36,606

Audible: $128

BlueHost: $600 (Step-by-step guide and 23 WordPress tutorials)

Click Funnels: $27,727

Coaching referrals: $5,649 (email me for an introduction to a mentor for overall online business or a Podcast focused mentor!)

ConvertKit: $46

Disclaimer Template: $94 (legal disclaimers for your website)

Fizzle: $302

Infusionsoft: $500

LeadPages: $1,560

Courses for Entrepreneurs: $18,797

DSG’s Create Awesome Online Courses: $5,383

Nick Stephenson’s First 10k Readers: $47

Ray Higdon’s 3 Minute Expert: $128

Ramit Sethi: $8,780

Ray Edwards Copywriting Academy: $4,039

Bryan Harris’ 10k Subscribers: $420

Resources for Podcasters: $560

Pat Flynn’s Smart Podcast Player: $30

Podcasting Press: $440

UDemy Podcasting Course: $90

Other Resources: $1,010

Amazon Associates: $720

Other: $290

Total Gross Income in April: $195,482

Business Expenses: $62,972

Advertising: $3,250

Affiliate Commissions (Paradise): $1,313

Accounting: $3,451

Cost of goods sold: $5,193

Design & Branding: $2,080

Education: $41

Legal & Professional: $1,996

Meals & Entertainment: $530

Merchant / bank fees: $4,744

Amazon fees: $9,793

Shopify fees: $280

Stripe fees: $7

PayPal fees: $645

Office expenses: $1,436

Payroll Tax Expenses / Fees: $1,489

Promotional / events: $0

Paradise Refunds: $4,145

WebinarOnFire Refunds: $0 (invoice total)

Sponsorships: $10,500

Show notes: $432

Travel: $1,187

The Freedom & Mastery Journal: $5,202

Virtual Assistant Fees: $3,770

Website Fees: $1,488

Recurring, Subscription-based Expenses: $2,265

Adobe Creative Cloud: $100

Boomerang: $80 (team package)

Brandisty: $24

Authorize.net: $91

Cell Phone: $200

FastSpring: $40 (one-time fee)

Feedblitz: $15

Internet: $300

eVoice: $9.95

Infusionsoft CRM: $359

Insurance: $551

Libsyn: $195

Chatroll: $49

PureChat: $20

ScheduleOnce: $9

Skype: $2.99

Shopify: $20

TaxJar: $19

Workflowy: $4.99

MeetEdgar: $49

WPCurve: $29

Taxes & Licenses: $77

Total Expenses in April: $65,237

Payroll to John & Kate: $15,900

In our May 2014 Income Report and our June 2016 Income Report, Josh focuses on how to pay yourself as an entrepreneur. Check them out!

Total Net Profit for April 2017: $130,245

Biggest Lesson Learned

Follow up, follow up, follow up!

There’s a lot to keep up with when you’re running your own business, and one thing I continue to see entrepreneurs drop the ball on is follow up.

“I reached out to them, but I never heard back.”

This is a common statement (excuse) I hear a lot, and I decided to include this as a lessons learned this month because it’s something I think needs to be talked about and taught more often.

So here’s the lesson:

Remember that every time you send an email, make a phone call, or submit a form on someone else’s site, they’re potentially receiving multiples of those every single day.

Add in the several tasks and responsibilities you’re very familiar with that are required to run your own business (and add a few more for good measure, because if you’re working on building your business, there’s a good chance you’re carrying around some extra to-do’s).

Then think about the fact that we all have personal lives, and that just because you’re anxious about receiving an answer from someone doesn’t necessarily mean that person is on the other end just waiting for your email, call, or form submission.

Finally, remind yourself of how important this connection is to you. You obviously decided it was worth your time to reach out to this person or company in the first place, so why waste that time by not following up?

Relationships, partnerships, deals and ongoing communication requires follow up, and as an entrepreneur you need to step up and take responsibility for making that happen.

Whether it’s reaching out to someone about being a guest on your podcast; you requesting to guest post on someone else’s site; inquiring about a speaking opportunity; or starting a conversation about a partnership, affiliate relationship or sponsorship deal, every time you reach out to someone take responsibility for that communication and don’t forget to follow up!

Alright Fire Nation, that’s a wrap!

Until next month, keep your FIRE burning!

~ Kate & John

Note: we report our income figures as accurately as possible, but in using reports from a combo of Infusionsoft & Xero to track our product and total income / expenses, they suggest the possibility of a 3 – 5% margin of error. 

Click here for all of EOFire’s Income Reports

This post was written by Kate Erickson, Content Creator and Implementer at EOFire. Follow Kate on Social:

The post EOFire’s April 2017 Income Report appeared first on EOFire Business Podcasts.

          via EntrepreneurOnFire.com | Inspiring interviews w/ today's most successful Entrepreneurs http://ift.tt/2p5jrgs

[almostsuperdream]

EOFire’s April 2017 Income Report

April 2017 Income At-A-Glance

Gross Income for April: $195,482

Total Expenses for April: $65,237

Total Net Profit for April: $130,245

Difference b/t April & March: -$242,434

Why We Publish An Income Report

This monthly income report is created for you, Fire Nation!

By documenting the struggles we encounter and the successes we celebrate as entrepreneurs every single month, we’re able to provide you with support – and a single resource – where we share what’s working, what’s not, and what’s possible.

There’s a lot of hard work that goes into learning and growing as an entrepreneur, especially when you’re just starting out. The most important part of the equation is that you’re able to pass on what you learn to others through teaching, which is what we aim to do here at EOFire.

Let’s IGNITE!

CPA On Fire’s Monthly Tax Tip

What’s up Fire Nation, my name is Josh Bauerle. I’m a CPA and the Founder of CPA On Fire, where we specialize in working with entrepreneurs to minimize their tax liability while keeping them in line with the ever-changing tax laws.

I’ve been working with EOFire for years now, and John and Kate have included me in these monthly income reports with unlimited access to all their accounts so I can verify that what they report here is complete and accurate.

And because they believe in delivering an insane amount of value to you, my job doesn’t stop at the verification level; I’ll also be providing tax and accounting tips to you along the way!

Josh’s April Tax Tip: The FAQ’s Continue!

Alright Fire Nation, as you can imagine I am asked a TON of tax questions this time of year.

So for the next few months we are going to do something a little different and I’m going to give you FAQ-style answers to the questions I’ve been asked most frequently this tax season!

Should I Incorporate my Business in Delaware (or another business friendly state)?

This is easily one of the most misunderstood topics I see with business owners – and for good reason.

There’s a lot of terrible information out there from people who want to charge you a lot of money to set up your business in these supposed “tax friendly” states.

I’ll keep this short and simple… You have to incorporate your business in the state you are operating the business from.

For almost all of you, this will be the state you live in. It doesn’t matter if your business only exists online… if you are operating your online business from your home, you are required to register in your state.

Not only will incorporating in a state other than your own save you no taxes, it will also cost you more money as you will be required to incorporate again in the state in which you live.

Just say no to the terrible advice out there telling you to form your business in a state other than your own!

I’m traveling the world, and part of it is for business. What part of the flights can I deduct?

I got this question a lot this year, and it’s a symbol of just how great the current entrepreneurial world is!

People are setting up location independent businesses with business contacts all over the world, they are using their flexibility to travel, and they are writing off some of those travel costs as business expenses.

Pretty awesome right?

But the tricky part is figuring out what parts of that travel are tax deductible (in the case that not all of the travel is for business purposes.)

The big portion of the costs people wonder about are the flights.

The key here is that the flight has to be going directly to the location used for business to be deductible. So what I see happen a lot is that people will fly into one spot for personal reasons, fly to another spot for business, and then return home.

The flight directly to the business location is a clear deduction. But what about the flight to the first location?

You would have needed a flight from the US to get to the business location so it seems logical a portion of the initial flight would be deductible.

Unfortunately, it isn’t.

The ONLY portion of flights you can deduct are ones that go directly to or from the business locations.

The second big expense people wonder about is lodging.

This ones even easier. The lodging expenses at your business locations are deductible. Anywhere else isn’t.

And finally, what if you took your entire family along and not just yourself?

In this case, you can separate costs per person – such as flights and meals, etc – and you would only deduct your costs.

For shared costs, such as lodging, rental cars, and so on, you can deduct the FULL amount because you would need those items with or without your family there.

Deducting travel like this is one of the amazing parts about owning a business, but you have to be very careful to deduct only the costs you are legally allowed.

One final note here: simply working on your computer while traveling does not making your travel business related!

Thanks, Fire Nation, for another amazing tax season. It was a long and busy one, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Keep those tax questions coming and lets make 2017 your best year yet!

And as always, please feel free to contact me if you’d like to discuss what would be best for YOUR business. I LOVE chatting with Fire Nation!

*Bonus* If you haven’t checked out Josh’s FREE course on business entities yet, you can get it here!

What Went Down In April

FireUP Debuts

Two years ago we spoke at Tropical Think Tank in the Philippines. This conference was unlike any other we’ve ever been to; Chris Ducker really knows how to throw a party!

At that conference we had the opportunity to meet and spend an entire week with about 50 other entrepreneurs, both speakers and attendees of the conference. One of those attendees was JC Bougle.

About a year after Tropical Think Tank, JC reached out to us and proposed an idea: what if we got together and created a suite of apps that would help entrepreneurs increase conversions on their website to get more leads and customers.

It wasn’t too long after that proposal that we got to work creating just that, and it’s called FireUP.

FireUP allows you to customize 3 apps on your website: the FireBar, the FireBox, and the FireGate, and we’re currently testing all of these apps out on PodcastersParadise.com and EOFire.com.

It’s completely free to get started; offers integrations with email and CRM providers like Infusionsoft, MailChimp and AWeber; and there’s an option to upgrade for enhanced customization and unlimited opt ins.

Head over to FireUP.co to sign up today!

What do you do with your money?

This is a question we’ve been asked a few times over the past couple of months, and today, we’re answering it!

We create these income reports to provide you with a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to run a successful business: our wins, losses, money in and money out is all out on the table.

What we don’t always talk about is what happens to the net revenue we earn every month.

The short answer…

A lot happens, and if you’ve read the book Profit First, you probably have a pretty good handle on how we manage our money.

The longer answer…

We have a few main categories for the money we earn, and those buckets are (in no particular order):

Investments and savings

Salaries

Taxes

Business

Giving

Investments (and savings) include things like our home here in Puerto Rico, our Hyundai Santa Fe we bought in May 2016 (both of which were paid for in cash), and our stocks and portfolios (these make up our savings).

Salaries include the money paid to myself and John as individuals, which is then invested in everyday necessities like food and paying the bills, and also on all the fun stuff, like trips, experiences and other activities.

Taxes has been a big one for us, and the reason you don’t see it on our income report is because once our net revenue is actually considered net, it passes to John as an individual. So EOFire isn’t paying taxes, John Lee Dumas is paying taxes. In 2015 alone, we paid over 1 million dollars in taxes.

Business expenses are everything you see here in our income reports: paying our virtual team, monthly recurring costs for the software and tools we use, payments to our extended team (contractors and retainers), advertising, website development, and so on…

There’s one more bucket, and that’s what we give. In 2016, we donated $75,000 to Pencils Of Promise on behalf of those who invested in themselves and bought The Freedom Journal. We also donated over $1,500 to an organization called Front Row Foundation, which helps individuals and families who are braving critical health challenges.

In 2017, we’ve already donated $10,000 on behalf of those who supported The Mastery Journal campaign, and another $20,000 to various causes that are important to us.

A Full House (and month!)

We literally had a full house (and month!) in April, including speaking at a 25-person mastermind put on by Mark and Krista of American Posture Institute (Puerto Rico Masterminds), and:

A month-long visit from my parents; an overlapping week with John’s mom, sister, niece and friend; and another overlapping week with my aunt & uncle.

Puerto Rico Masterminds was a HUGE hit; Mark and Krista put together an incredible experience not only for their attendees, but also for us as speakers.

From our sunset sail in the San Juan harbor, to John’s first ever talk given in his bathing suit at the pool, to a party bus that was literally hoppin’, this weekend is one we’ll never forget!

Great news: Puerto Rico Masterminds will be a twice per year event put on by Mark and Krista, so if you’re interested in attending a future event be sure to keep your eye on PuertoRicoMasterminds.com!

The mastermind was quickly followed by all the company and all the parties, and we had an absolute blast showing our families around Palmas, sharing our crazy weekly get togethers with them, and experiencing a lot of first-time trips together, including:

A visit to Hacienda Munoz, a coffee plantation just down the road in San Lorenzo

A trip to the beach in Naguabo

A day on Flamenco Beach in Culebra

A half-way-around-the-island drive to see Ponce

As we come up on our 1 year anniversary here in Puerto Rico, our adventures in both business and life continue. We’re so grateful to have a community of like-minded individuals who live here in Palmas, and our families and friends who come to visit to share it with!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 2017 Income Breakdown*

Product/Service Income: $138,509

TOTAL Journal sales: 1,178 Journals for a total of $43,609

The Freedom Journal: Accomplish your #1 goal in 100 days!

TheFreedomJournal.com: $7,552 (137 Hardcovers & 46 Digital Packs sold!)

Amazon: $16,056 (472 Freedom Journals sold!)

Total: $23,608

The Mastery Journal: Master Productivity, Discipline and Focus in 100 days!

TheMasteryJournal.com: $9,208 (171 Hardcovers & 48 Digital Packs sold!)

Amazon: $10,793 (304 Mastery Journals sold!)

Total: $20,001

Podcasters’ Paradise: The #1 Podcasting community in the world!

Recurring: $19,388 (4 annual, 206 monthly)

New members: $12,557 (30 new members)

Total: $31,945

Podcast Sponsorship Income: $57,750

Podcast Websites: $5,000 Your all-in-one podcast website peace of mind

Free Podcast Course: A free 15-day course on Podcasting

Free Webinar Course: A free 10-day course on Webinars

Free Goals Course: A free 8-day course on Setting & Accomplishing Goals

Funnel On Fire: A free 8-day course on Creating a Funnel that Converts!

Podcast Launch: Audiobook: $184 | eBook: $21

Affiliate Income: $56,973

*Affiliate links below

Resources for Entrepreneurs: $36,606

Audible: $128

BlueHost: $600 (Step-by-step guide and 23 WordPress tutorials)

Click Funnels: $27,727

Coaching referrals: $5,649 (email me for an introduction to a mentor for overall online business or a Podcast focused mentor!)

ConvertKit: $46

Disclaimer Template: $94 (legal disclaimers for your website)

Fizzle: $302

Infusionsoft: $500

LeadPages: $1,560

Courses for Entrepreneurs: $18,797

DSG’s Create Awesome Online Courses: $5,383

Nick Stephenson’s First 10k Readers: $47

Ray Higdon’s 3 Minute Expert: $128

Ramit Sethi: $8,780

Ray Edwards Copywriting Academy: $4,039

Bryan Harris’ 10k Subscribers: $420

Resources for Podcasters: $560

Pat Flynn’s Smart Podcast Player: $30

Podcasting Press: $440

UDemy Podcasting Course: $90

Other Resources: $1,010

Amazon Associates: $720

Other: $290

Total Gross Income in April: $195,482

Business Expenses: $62,972

Advertising: $3,250

Affiliate Commissions (Paradise): $1,313

Accounting: $3,451

Cost of goods sold: $5,193

Design & Branding: $2,080

Education: $41

Legal & Professional: $1,996

Meals & Entertainment: $530

Merchant / bank fees: $4,744

Amazon fees: $9,793

Shopify fees: $280

Stripe fees: $7

PayPal fees: $645

Office expenses: $1,436

Payroll Tax Expenses / Fees: $1,489

Promotional / events: $0

Paradise Refunds: $4,145

WebinarOnFire Refunds: $0 (invoice total)

Sponsorships: $10,500

Show notes: $432

Travel: $1,187

The Freedom & Mastery Journal: $5,202

Virtual Assistant Fees: $3,770

Website Fees: $1,488

Recurring, Subscription-based Expenses: $2,265

Adobe Creative Cloud: $100

Boomerang: $80 (team package)

Brandisty: $24

Authorize.net: $91

Cell Phone: $200

FastSpring: $40 (one-time fee)

Feedblitz: $15

Internet: $300

eVoice: $9.95

Infusionsoft CRM: $359

Insurance: $551

Libsyn: $195

Chatroll: $49

PureChat: $20

ScheduleOnce: $9

Skype: $2.99

Shopify: $20

TaxJar: $19

Workflowy: $4.99

MeetEdgar: $49

WPCurve: $29

Taxes & Licenses: $77

Total Expenses in April: $65,237

Payroll to John & Kate: $15,900

In our May 2014 Income Report and our June 2016 Income Report, Josh focuses on how to pay yourself as an entrepreneur. Check them out!

Total Net Profit for April 2017: $130,245

Biggest Lesson Learned

Follow up, follow up, follow up!

There’s a lot to keep up with when you’re running your own business, and one thing I continue to see entrepreneurs drop the ball on is follow up.

“I reached out to them, but I never heard back.”

This is a common statement (excuse) I hear a lot, and I decided to include this as a lessons learned this month because it’s something I think needs to be talked about and taught more often.

So here’s the lesson:

Remember that every time you send an email, make a phone call, or submit a form on someone else’s site, they’re potentially receiving multiples of those every single day.

Add in the several tasks and responsibilities you’re very familiar with that are required to run your own business (and add a few more for good measure, because if you’re working on building your business, there’s a good chance you’re carrying around some extra to-do’s).

Then think about the fact that we all have personal lives, and that just because you’re anxious about receiving an answer from someone doesn’t necessarily mean that person is on the other end just waiting for your email, call, or form submission.

Finally, remind yourself of how important this connection is to you. You obviously decided it was worth your time to reach out to this person or company in the first place, so why waste that time by not following up?

Relationships, partnerships, deals and ongoing communication requires follow up, and as an entrepreneur you need to step up and take responsibility for making that happen.

Whether it’s reaching out to someone about being a guest on your podcast; you requesting to guest post on someone else’s site; inquiring about a speaking opportunity; or starting a conversation about a partnership, affiliate relationship or sponsorship deal, every time you reach out to someone take responsibility for that communication and don’t forget to follow up!

Alright Fire Nation, that’s a wrap!

Until next month, keep your FIRE burning!

~ Kate & John

Note: we report our income figures as accurately as possible, but in using reports from a combo of Infusionsoft & Xero to track our product and total income / expenses, they suggest the possibility of a 3 – 5% margin of error. 

Click here for all of EOFire’s Income Reports

This post was written by Kate Erickson, Content Creator and Implementer at EOFire. Follow Kate on Social:

The post EOFire’s April 2017 Income Report appeared first on EOFire Business Podcasts.

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[weirdowithaquill]

Who's the Best Mentor for Ivo Hugh?

Seeing as I just finished my ERS 'Ivo Hugh the Young Engine' fic, I think it's about time I ask the serious question of who exactly would be the best mentor for Ivo Hugh.

This will focus only on the Skarloey Railway engines - I am not going to consider the mainline engines because I both don't have the patience or the mental strength to try and figure out just how bad that would go. I will also only be considering Railway Series characters; I don't think Mighty Mac would even have a chance! Please note that this is all entirely my opinion, and while you are free to add your own suggestions, please do not hate me for favouring one character over another.

Skarloey:

Initially, I thought Skarloey would be an ideal candidate. He's got a wealth of experience, and he acts like the stern, elder leader of the fleet. He also knows how to handle wayward engines, as seen in 'Gallant Old Engine' when he teaches Duncan a lesson.

However, Skarloey has had no actual experience teaching a new engine. Rusty arrived before Skarloey returned, so Skarloey had no hand in their education. In fact, every engine prior to Ivo Hugh has already been taught in some capacity how to do the basics of handling trucks and coaches and listening to their driver, if not much more. Ivo Hugh very much hasn't. Furthermore, Skarloey has a temper that would severely limit his ability to mentor. His role in the series - if you look close enough - is often just scolding the others. He scolds Nancy for cleaning him, Duncan for stopping with his passengers on the viaduct, Sir Handel a number of times, the coaches for being difficult - the list goes on!

And that's before mentioning young Skarloey! Skarloey has blown smoke at his manager and insulted Rheneas and bounced his manager into a bush - and that was before the railway even opened! As a mentor, Skarloey just doesn't sit right with me. Skarloey certainly has his part to play - but he's just not quite right.

Rheneas:

So, if Skarloey isn't ideal, how about Rheneas? He's very similar to Skarloey, only not quite as stern and certainly a lot more mature from the get-go. He's persistent, as seen by his determination in Speedkiller. He quite literally is the 'Gallant Old Engine' who is very much a hero of the railway! So far, a much better fit.

Unfortunately, much like Skarloey, Rheneas has also never taught a brand-new engine before. Rheneas arrived back from his overhaul after Sir Handel, Peter Sam, Rusty and Duncan had all settled into life on the SKR - Rheneas himself just slotted into his spot. We also don't see much of Rheneas in the series at all. For an engine with a book named after him, he doesn't do an awful lot in said book. He appears in one of the four stories, and that's mostly told in flashback!

And that particular story also points to my one major concern about Rheneas: he pushes himself too far. Rheneas jams his cylinder trying to take on the work of two engines. Rheneas takes on a herculean effort to try and keep the railway running, but doesn't seem to have the ability to stop pushing himself. It is strongly implied that his breakdown in 'Gallant Old Engine' was not a one-off event. My worry is that he'll manage to teach that sort of mentality to Ivo Hugh. It's unlikely - but not impossible. Add this to the fact that he's never taught an engine before, and while he's definitely a better choice than Skarloey, he is not the best candidate to mentor Ivo Hugh.

Sir Handel:

No. Just no. Sir Handel has insulted the coaches, damaged himself, purposefully derailed himself, knocked his firebars loose, gotten into a fight with a steamroller and insulted Skarloey - just to name a few incidents!

Sir Handel hasn't shown many signs of maturing by the time Ivo Hugh was built either, seeing as that firebar story comes from the same book Ivo Hugh was introduced in. Sir Handel is probably the second worst candidate on the entire railway.

Peter Sam:

Now, Peter Sam is an interesting choice. He's by no means the same engine he was when he started on the SKR, and he may have had a hand in teaching Rusty - though that's unlikely, seeing as Rusty just sort of arrives and knows what to do - but he has also shown that he may not be the right candidate.

He's naive for one thing - Henry managed to trick Peter Sam into panicking about being late, causing Peter Sam to forget the refreshment lady; which suggests that he can also be forgetful. He's also shown to be cheeky in 'You Can't Win!' and both over-confident and stubborn in 'Peter Sam's Prickly Problem'. Now, none of this is to the detriment of Peter Sam, just as none of this is to the detriment of any of the characters - but it's also not the best base for a mentor.

I wouldn't say he's a bad choice - Peter Sam is a good candidate. He may be stubborn, but he's also persistent and determined, as well as kind and polite. But I think there are better candidates, and he has no experience with teaching other engines.

Rusty:

Rusty also shows a lot of the strengths that Peter Sam, Skarloey and Rheneas show - Rusty's intelligent, hard-working, kind and level-headed, going as far as to warn Duncan about some bad track in 'Rock 'n' Roll'. However, it's that same story that might just be Rusty's undoing.

Rusty leaves Duncan to find his own coaches - furthering Duncan's animosity towards Rusty and making him late, and then Rusty refuses to go to Duncan's aid until Skarloey scolds him. While this may be a biproduct of Rusty's young age, the fact we don't see much of the little diesel in the series either before or after this really doesn't help us get an idea of their character. It's the same issue that I have with Rheneas: we just don't know enough about them to make a judgement.

And one final thought: Rusty grumbles about Fred not doing his job in 'Speedkiller'; and Fred is the other track maintenance diesel on the railway. When Fred arrived, Rusty was most likely the engine who taught him how things worked... and didn't manage to succeed.

Duncan:

Duncan matures a lot over the series. When introduced, he's rude, loud, brash, dismissive - the list goes on. However, by the time we reach 'Pop-Special', he's changed drastically. Duncan is a very different engine in this story, going out of his way to help the scouts during the hot weather. He's grown a substantial amount!

However, I wouldn't say he's changed entirely. He is seen being abrasive and brash as late as 'Bulldog', arguing with Peter Sam over his interpretation of a 'Duke'. His change may also have been spurred on more by vaguely disguised threats than anything, seeing his reaction to Culdee's story in 'Bad Lookout':

Duncan is not the worst candidate for a mentor figure for Ivo Hugh - however he is quite low on the list, as his bad language, biting remarks and abrasive personality would not make for the most ideal learning environment.

Fred:

Look, we know nothing about Fred. He does not appear in any illustrations, have any speaking roles or even have an effect on the series. All we do know about him is that he shirks off his job as the weedkilling engine and Rusty is forced to do it. So I'd say based on this single incident, Fred is the worst candidate for a mentor for Ivo Hugh.

Duke:

And after all of them, there is only one left. Duke. Now, old Granpuff does have his faults - but he also is the only one of this entire group to have experience teaching engines. He raised Peter Sam (Stuart) and Sir Handel (Falcon) on his own - and by all accounts, while they were on the MSR they were really useful, polite, friendly and helpful. It isn't until their stint at the Aluminium Works that they gain their current personalities.

So, Duke has the experience - which suggests that he probably has a decent temperament for teaching and a wealth of knowledge to pass down, all tested on previous students. He's also surprisingly relaxed about his role. In 'You Can't Win!', Duke actively plans and takes part in a prank against Stuart as retaliation for rude comments. His ability to roll with the punches and also have fun is extremely useful in a teaching environment.

Duke also has the same determination and drive as Rheneas, handling his entire railway alone successfully for generations. Unlike Rheneas however, Duke doesn't drive himself to failure.

Duke also has the instincts. In 'Bulldog', Duke double-heads a train with Falcon - who spends the entire journey belittling and taunting the old engine. However, when Falcon derails and dangles over a cliff, Duke does not hesitate for even a moment, going into parental instinct instantly and not stopping until Falcon is safe, going so far as to bark orders at his crew and the passengers. This is an actual human reaction too, known as maternal instinct - this is an instantaneous reaction a mother will have if their child is in danger.

He acts more like Stanley is a problem than an opportunity, which could be due to Stanley's attitude or Duke's stubbornness - either way, the depiction of Stanley in 'Granpuff' is both very disturbing and very open-ended. Was Stanley that bad? Was Duke negligent? Was it actually the fault of management, and Duke is desperately trying to ensure that Stuart and Falcon don't go the same way? If it is the last one, then that's another positive for Duke as a mentor. Otherwise, not such a great sign. Duke can also be a bit... boring. He drones on about 'His Grace' so often that Stuart and Falcon get sick of it. Duke is also remarkably stubborn, being unable to deviate from his own beliefs in several cases. He also has a temper of his own, snapping back at Stuart and Falcon several times - though this was after considerably more provocation than Skarloey.

Despite these flaws, Duke does manage to balance them out far better than the others in a parental aspect. What really sets him apart is that parental instinct - it's a real game-changer, and he's one of only two engines in the entire series to be explicitly shown as having it. The other is Edward, who put himself in massive danger to save a runaway James, but even then, it's not quite the same. Edward's said to be the only other engine in the yard, and James is in nowhere near as much danger as Falcon was. Falcon is in perhaps the most danger any engine has ever been in the entire railway series in this moment:

Based on all this, I think Duke is the best choice to be the primary mentor for Ivo Hugh. There is just more instances of him being a proper mentor in the series, which makes it easier to spot how good he is at this role. Were we to see Rusty's early days, or even that Ivo Hugh book we all wanted, we'd probably have a much better idea of who is the actual best candidate. As it is, I stand by my choice of Duke, with Rheneas, Peter Sam, Rusty and Skarloey also having a large influence. After all, it takes a village to raise a child and a railway to raise an engine!

As usual, none of these images belong to me, and are the property of their respective owners.

[djfadeinthemix]

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[djfadeinthemix]

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[djfadeinthemix]

A rare #saturdaynight appearance at @lumberbaronsbrew @stables_firebar #FireBar #BayCity #TONIGHT! #liveband #SoulXpress in #TheStables too! On #MidlandStreet! #ladiesnight #girlsnight #DjFade #dj #pioneerdj (at Lumber Barons and Stables) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0_q5HYJM_o/?igshid=xgvhcxbhpkkp