#and finding ways to procrastinate on my procrastination hobby instead

[masteredinstinct]

respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

roleplayer name: coffee roleplayer pronouns: she/her muse name: louis de pointe du lac

preferred communication: i'm terrible at maintaining communication ooc but i think discord would be the best way to reach me . tumblr's IMs make my hands sweaty .

experience: way too long . i started roleplaying outside of tumblr in jcink boards . sometimes i stop for months , then come back , then go away , then come back again , then go away , then --- preferred roleplay type: i go for paragraphs , i love crossovers , like focusing on louis pre-vampirism and post-season 2 ( i love writing him no matter what it's just fun to expand on what hasn't been shown in the show ) . i'm much more into angst than fluff admittedly ... though if you fluff things up enough , the angst which comes afterwards will hit twice as hard . dropping and picking up 100 threads with the same writing partner , crying , not proof reading things , you know , the usual . pet peeves & dealbreakers: i confess i feel demoralised when i see that a rping blog has absolutely no ic posts / threads / ask replies ( not judging at all !!! i just don't feel that compelled to follow most times ) , vaguing / guilt-tripping on the dash , overly spaced out words ..... but it's been relatively easy avoiding or talking things out whenever faced with any of these things .

plot or memes: i think memes are a GREAT way to break the ice and see how characters interact . plotting for me feels easier and more natural after that first ic interaction which lets us know how our characters vibe together . does that make sense ? though i confess i also reply faster to people i toss ideas around with ... both . i love both plots and memes . long replies or short replies: long...i'm a yapper and i can't fucking control it apparently . this doesn't mean i expect long replies from my mutuals i just can't shut the fuck up .

best time to write: right after dinner at 9PM/10PM 'til i go to bed . during the day if i'm particularly bored at work ... but nighttime during the week is usually the best .

are you like your muse?: i too have issues sharing my true feelings and showing my more sensitive side even to those closest to me . i also tend to get the blues and self-isolate ... overly protective of those around me ... but you know . i don't like ... bite people . or cats . nor is my waist snatched so . you know . just a little bit .

tagged: my lord and saviour @lamourstre compelled me to reply to this thing tagging: tags hate me and i hate them , steal it from me .

[luv-indigo]

okay so, redesigning nadine for the third and (hopefully) final time. i felt she looked too similar to soraya (my keyframes fall mc) so i changed nadine up a bit. also!! i was trying to find oc templates to fill out for my visual novel ocs and although there’s so many out there, none were exactly what i was looking for soooo…. I made my own! i’ll post my other our life ocs with them soon but first, nadine ! (again)

I’ve also changed my own mind. Nadine will be my MC for Qiu’s route.

Nadine introduction <3

Nadine spent much of her early childhood moving from place to place, all within her home state of California but oftentimes in different cities. Moving around so often made it hard to keep in contact with friends and after a while made it especially hard making friends in the first place.

When Opal tells Nadine they‘re moving once again, Nadine is surprised to learn they’re moving to Oregon, their neighboring state. This time, she learns it’ll be a more permanent location. Nadine doesn’t know exactly how to feel. She’s so used to moving around that being in a place for so long sounds foreign, weird and new. However, part of her can’t help but feel excited, especially since she gets her own room now! But no matter what, she knows mama will be with her every step of the way.

Upon meeting Qiu and Tamarack, Nadine quickly feels they can be the best of friends. Nadine has always been more of a quiet person but not necessarily shy. Spend enough time with her and you’ll find she can talk quite a lot. Yet she’s perfectly content with simply listening as well.

Nadine is mostly a rule follower. Rules are there for a reason right? She prides herself on being neat and orderly. All her belongings are pristine and in their place because that’s just how she likes it. During step 1, Nadine strongly dislikes getting dirty. Which can be difficult to avoid if you’re playing outside in the woods.

Step Two !!

After four years, Nadine has adjusted well into her new home. Although Nadine needs glasses she very much prefers to use eye contacts instead. It’s also the most convenient when ice skating. She’s taken on ice skating as her main past time and she’s fairly good. Her transportation of choice has been rollerblading so it makes sense she got into ice skating as well.

Her other hobbies are more on the creative side. She enjoys crafting and drawing on occasion. Cosplaying is also one of her major hobbies. For years she has worked on making her Halloween costumes with the help of Mama.

During this time Nadine becomes more of a shy person. During her earlier childhood, she had no problem voicing her thoughts and opinions but it seems now that sort of thing gets harder to do as you age. Thankfully, she has her two close friends to turn to whenever she needs a hand, and in turn she will be there for them as well.

Step Three !!

Nadine has less and less time to do things she wants. If this is how adult life is she wants zero part of it </3

Nadine has always prioritized their studies (although that became much harder to do when middle school started due to her procrastination habits). Now college is weighing on their mind. Nadine still very much enjoys ice skating yet she struggles to make time to practice. Similarly, cosplaying has turning into a year long project (for Halloween of course). Doing multiple cosplays a year is something she doesn’t have time for anymore. Although they are often busy, Nadine will always make time for a special someone and her best friend, Tamarack.

Step Four !!

Nadine’s all grown up </3

Throughout many years Nadine has learned things about themselves and grown into the person they are today. Her experiences and the people she has been around since she was ten years old have impacted her life to mold her into who she is, for better or worse. And honestly, they wouldn’t have it any other way.

And finally this little thing I made with all of Nadine’s doll icons. I had to edit many of them to fit the hair style and clothing options I wanted and it literally took forever </3 ouGh

Also, I apologize for the quality. I tried to preserve it as I was inserting the drawings into the template but resizing may have messed up the quality </3

[notetaeker]

Hello!!! How did you become so dedicated to your studies? Do you have some advice?

I love your blog, btw✨️

Hi hi hi!! Thanks for the sweet message 💞💞

My BIG study tips (after 25 years of studying):

Accept your fate. This goes for anything but I used to procrastinate with studying a LOT and once you start it's actually not that bad. It's guaranteed. Automatically once you start, you have started, so you're already on your way, so it's already automatically not as bad anymore. Whining abt ur studies and avoiding them will not make them go away unfortunately. Just do it.

Make study time sacred. A few minutes of focused study is much more valuable than 5 hours spent at the library "studying" + scrolling + talking to friends + listening to music at the same time. Doing 5 hours like that is literally putting yourself thru hell because 1. you cant fully enjoy any of those non-studying activities and 2. you come out of that being like ugh I studied this page for 5 hours I'm tired of studying I need a break. Pomodoro method really changed my life pls try it out if u haven't already

That one tumblr post that says 'learning is basically being exposed to the same materials many times in multiple ways' is 100% correct. How many different ways can you expose yourself to the material. Memorizing facts- can you draw it? Can you organize the facts into lists? Can you attach a funny story to one of the facts? The more ways you interact with any material, the stronger it's saved in your memory. Find out if you're a visual learner- and then create visual tools, maybe color coding things helps you. Do a little digging and find out what works for you.

Diversify your life. Have some hobbies, spend time with friends/family, take a break. Let the computer of your brain sort out things in the background while you do other things. Once you go back to studying, you will feel refreshed (and not fatigued from 5 hrs in the library doing "studying") This also means that if you fail an exam, you won't be like 'oh no i spent my whole spring break studying for this exam and didn't even enjoy it and now I got a bad grade i must be horrible my life is nothing' and spiral. def not based on a true story :) Instead you'll be like yeah I failed but look at this scarf I crocheted look at mee i have mental health!

Sleep is magic- no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. 1. If you studied something during the day, just review those things right before bed and magically they will get set into your brain. Also 2. sleeping is when our brain sorts info so if you don't get any sleep at all it' the same as taking your study sheets and throwing them into the air, so when you ask your brain for the info during the test it's like lol it's around here somewhere. On the other hand, if you slept and gave ur brain time to sort it, when you ask for that info, it'll just open the right drawer and give u the info!

That's it for the big ones- if you want more specific advice feel free to ask! Also as a disclaimer, these 5 are all big life lessons that I had to learn thru trial and error, so consider these to be the advice I would give myself at a younger age. Pls don't be offended lol whenever I said 'you' I rlly was thinking abt myself.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

My last post to get people to talk about their creative projects has gotten something of a theme. People who are trying to write a book, but instead of actually writing it, are writing a bunch of…other stuff.

I may be biased because I do very little of that extraneous writing­, but I think there’s two main places that situation comes from:

Being scared of writing the book/story

Not actually wanting to write a story

And both of those things themselves could probably be a whole post or series of posts, but let me break them down one at a time to see if it helps anyone figure out what’s going on with them.

Being scared of writing the book/story:

Basically, the writing you’re doing instead of the story is procrastination and avoiding actually working on the story. You don’t want to be writing it, but you’re afraid if you actually write the story, you’ll mess it up, so you’re writing other things and trying to prepare yourself utterly and completely so you know exactly what you’re going to do…except none of that “prep work” worldbuilding and character exploration is actually making you any more confident.

So here’s the thing: You can rewrite the same story from scratch several times if you don’t like what the first try looks like. You can edit the story over and over if you don’t like what it looks like.

Some prep work helps a lot of writers. But at the end of the day, it’s really not helping you write the story. The story is the story and it’s not any of your asides, and the longer you spent avoiding the story and building up All These Cool ideas, the scarier actually writing it is going to get. Because now you have a thousand cool ideas and you’re even more afraid you can’t do them justice than when you had one kinda interesting idea to pursue. You’ve invested all this time—what if the story isn’t good?

It's still going to be better than no story. And you're not going to get better at telling stories without trying to do that specific thing, because of the discussion we're about to get into...

Not actually wanting to write a story:

The people who said this to me in that post were largely writers. But the thing is that doesn’t really get talked about is that…writing isn’t really one hobby.

There’s a lot of kinds of writing, and some of them overlap, but they all require different skills and they require different interests, and they satisfy different parts of a person, if they satisfy any.

Writing a novel is different from writing a short story is different from writing an analytic essay is different from writing standup is different from writing a screenplay is different from writing a Wiki entry is different from writing a business report is different than writing marketing copy is different from writing a technical manual is different from…

I majored in creative writing and minored in professional writing, and I have been writing for 25 years. I have tried a lot of those kinds of writing. I enjoy most of them, because I enjoy wordsmithing. I enjoy putting various words together to see what they look like. Not everyone does, but they might still write because…

They like storytelling. Not everyone who likes storytelling is a writer—sometimes they draw, or make a video game, or pain, or act, or direct, or sing. Lots of ways to tell stories exist! And if you like writing but don’t like storytelling, maybe you’d be happier writing analysis essays or business reports, or marketing copy (which can be storytelling, but is very different from narrative).

And maybe, it leads you to writing long character profiles and worldbuilding documents.

Writing a novel and writing detailed worldbuilding documents are honestly basically different hobbies. You might like both! Or you might not, and just feel like “I like writing,” means you have to write a novel or a short story.

You…don’t. Writing doesn’t mean you have to write any specific thing. You should find why you’re drawn to a specific activity, to figure out what is satisfying you about it.

It is perfectly okay if you enjoy writing about made up worlds without wanting to write a novel about it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

So basically:

If you want to write a novel, just do it already! If you don’t, you don’t have to keep telling yourself you will because you feel obligated to do it. Just enjoy whatever part of the process you enjoy.

[blushydiorrb]

blushydior

    ♡⊹˚₊ 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 ₊˚⊹♡

𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅: 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐃𝐀𝐘

this is nothing but an enhancement of the person already within you. this is not to say you aren’t perfect in your own beautiful way and you need to change your whole self because you’re “not up to par”. i make this post to tell you to never put a limit on your growth because change is constant and the smallest things make the absolute biggest difference. this is an endless self improvement journey where you will make clear of your beautiful qualities buried underneath, embody the person you’ve always wanted to become, and find new lovely sides of yourself in the process. the idea of change, even in the slightest, shouldn’t be feared but instead welcomed. there is nothing better than evolving and being a better person than you were yesterday. remember that you can change at any time. you don’t have to wait until a new year, month, or week and note that it’s never too late to do so. there is no other time than now. this post will always be here for you to look back on. and of course, despite the mentions of dream girl, this post is for EVERYONE.

to start and this is very crucial, ask yourself a series of questions:

what are my deepest values in life? envisioning the dream person i desire to be, do the habits i hold support me on this journey? what are some things i need to let go of that i’ve been putting off? how have i been feeling these past few months? do the people i socialize with inspire & encourage me in my endeavors?

really take your time to think about what you value, ways you can support them and analyze things in your current life.

now that you’ve got the foundation, let’s begin and become the dream girl you want to be. 

do right by you. you can’t do right by others if you abandon yourself for the sake of them.

              𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

bring out the journal because we are going on a self discovery journey! 

what are your goals that you’ve been wanting to achieve? start a business, do better in school and be at the top of your class, getting to places on time, be more open to meeting new people, reading more books a month, being more elegant, gentle, and kind…

what does the dream person in your mind look like? what habits and kind of friends do they have? how do they spend their time? how do they carry themselves? 

what are some things you need to let go of in order to successfully embody this person? socializing with toxic people, not having structure in the day, excess social media usage, substance consumption, sleeping in, procrastinating, victimizing, the negative self-talk, gossip, letting people step all over you…

what are some habits you’ll need to cultivate? lessen social media usage, waking up and going to sleep early, eating healthy, exercising, picking up old and new hobbies again, more walks, starting work right away, being kind to yourself…

                   𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐗

digital declutter: delete any and all useless apps. most of them are to be real with you. you don’t have to check your influencer’s new posts and vlogs and you will be okay if you miss out on the newest internet trends. for a little more push on letting go of social media, read my post on digital minimalism here.

remember, that this is a self development journey. you can’t and won’t accomplish the goals and habits of the it girl you want to be if you’re on your phone for more than half the day. be raw with yourself. let go of social media.

social group: really take some time to think about the people you hang around with. are they supportive? negative? do they talk bad about others? criminals? are they goal setters and high-achievers? do they support you and your goals? do they hang around with bad people?

the people you socialize with tells a lot about your character. seriously! if you hang out with people who treat others like garbage (for no reason), if THEY knowingly socialize with people who do tons of horrible things, where do YOUR morals lie? yes, they have been nice to you and you’ve known them for years but that excuse begins to fade when you are striving to be a better person and morals come into play. the environment you tolerate will hold you back. 

don’t feel bad about doing this. i did at first but it’ll go away, trust me when i say you’ll do so much better. 

most importantly, self care: how you carry and treat yourself shows others how to treat you. once you acknowledge what you are worthy of, you will not allow yourself to settle for anything that doesn’t meet your standards and much less allow yourself to tumble back into old, unhealthy ways.

enforce boundaries on yourself and others. get rid of the habits of bashing yourself when you make an honest mistake or your work performance/grades are low, stop saying horrible things when you look in the mirror, stop complaining and staying up at night for unnecessary reasons, damaging your health, stop letting people insult you, quit over explaining yourself.

detox ending note: again, take it easy with yourself. the more you exercise and strengthen your self-discipline, the easier this detox will be for you. you can start by applying a few habits at a time until it’s basically a part of a routine and go on from there but you have to remember to take it seriously in implementing it into your daily routine/life.

tell yourself that you are doing amazing because you are! you are striving to be better you every single day! how is that not admirable? you are always doing your best even if it may not feel like it.

     𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

now that you have a clear vision of things even if it’s little! you need to do in order to fully embody your dream self, it’s time to put things into motion.

how can you do this? enforcing self-discipline and setting boundaries. 

think of motivation as a power boost at the starting line and your foot pressing on the pedal of your car is discipline, it’s what keeps you going forward on your journey. motivation, as fleeting as it is won’t bring you far but self-discipline will. 

             DEVELOPING SELF DISCIPLINE

self-discipline: the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.

boundaries

a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

a limit of a subject or sphere of activity.

remind yourself of the life you want to live and the person you desire to be, remember that all of your desires have always been within reach. you just have to break out of the barrier you’ve put up for yourself, fight through the fear and the “what if’s” and just do it! the person you wish to be is already within you. 

thinking of and wanting to start is one thing but actually starting, no matter how small has already moved mountains you can’t yet see. 

                         WHERE TO START

self-discipline and boundaries go hand in hand. setting healthy boundaries will shine light on the path you want to take by making sure you’re staying protected by actions made by you and other people and discipline keeps you in check so that you can go about your self improvement journey the best that you can!

this can look like…

overcoming the urge to wallow in past failures and instead looking forward to a chance at a new beginning.

putting yourself first. taking care of your mind, body, and soul.

getting out of bed to finish your tasks even if you wanted to sleep in.

correcting yourself when you were slipping up on an old habit without self criticism.

making sure your boundaries allow you to grow and fix them as you seek fit

learning the best ways to say no and yes

being more considerate and kind to yourself and others.

not letting futile thoughts, ideas, and actions hinder your progress.

finally putting forth projects you’ve pushed aside. 

picking yourself back up after a difficult time even if it took a while.

more on boundaries here: BOUNDARIES 101

habits to acquire:

thinking of which times you felt down and uplifted and figuring out what contributed to those feelings. avoid habits and situations that don’t serve you and bring in more of what made you feel good about yourself and how you can further enhance that experience.

not rushing your personal journey

having a set routine. morning + night ideas.

standing firm on your boundaries

stop comparing.

becoming a digital minimalist

identifying with old habits and perceptions of yourself

investing in your appearance (because pampering is relaxing!)

not caring about what others think of you

taking care of your mind, body, and soul. tuning into what you need and what is best for you, fully influenced and putting things into motion because it’s what you truly want, not for pleasing others or trying to “fit in”

enjoying stillness

indulging in old and new hobbies every day. make it a priority!

more ideas here!

CONTINUING TO STRENGTHEN DISCIPLINE

how do habits form? how do people get better at what they set their minds to? by figuring out what works for them and what doesn’t, what their roadblocks are and from then on, repetition and consistency. 

keep in mind that healing and improvement is subjective. make it work for you so that you are setting yourself up for success. take what you see from posts like these, videos, and books and refine it to make it fit perfectly with how you would like things to go.

take the habits you intend to leave behind and the ones you’d like to acquire and map out how you would go about leaving the past in the past to welcome in the new. 

figure out what your roadblocks are. when there comes a time where it’s hard to continue forward on your path, tune into your body and mind. what is it telling you? there is something that is bothering you that needs to be addressed. are you well rested? have you had enough water today? are you overstimulated? are there any illnesses that can easily flare up and be the reason why you’re feeling this way? 

don’t beat yourself up for feeling demotivated and unreasonably drained. most of the time, it’s really not the case. you just need to figure out what is going on and address it gently and sometimes you won’t really know what’s going on until later on and that’s okay! 

i would always feel drained or overstimulated with my depression, adhd, and chronic fatigue. it would cause me to flare up and enter episodes (depressive and manic). the things i would realize was that it was either caused by: an triggering/traumatic event, intense emotions that didn’t have an outlet, continuous outings. and sometimes flares up will just happen and i began to understand that. 

i didn’t blame myself for having illnesses. i just grew aware that what really matters is: i get through it every. single. time. and i will be okay even if i literally felt my world was crashing down on me yet again.

something that can help when dealing with episodes is that when you feel it coming on, prepare yourself so you can get through it even if it makes the experiences just a little bit better by 1%. taking a shower and brushing your teeth, cleaning up your space, gathering snacks and easy to make meals, telling a trusted loved one you won’t be available but might need their support, trying your best to go on walks even if it’s hard, putting on comfortable clothes, etc.

which one works for you? working your way up, going all in or both? it really all depends on what this method applies to. if you think changing your routine by the slightest will be a good step, do it or if you feel confident that deleting all the apps on your phone all at once is something you want to do, go all in.

keep track of your accomplishments. tracking your accomplishments will show how much you’ve done and keep you on your feet! nothing beats the feeling than looking back at all the things you’ve done before heading towards the rest of your goals with your head high. anything is possible. remind yourself that you can do it. sort it to yearly, monthly, and daily to do lists! it’s always the best thing to look at when there are times where you don’t feel like you did “enough”. your effort is more than enough!

and so you take a few days to rest. relaxing, taking a vacation… does this mean you’re being inconsistent? absolutely… not. duh? resting is being productive. putting yourself first IS self care! reward yourself with relaxing days spent by traveling, resting, going out etc. do what makes you happy and be safe. keeping a balance is SUPER important!

“take things slow with yourself. if your body wants to rest, let it rest. let your mind rest as well by letting go all the worries of “why you’re not active”. who cares if you take a slow day? do you know how much you’ve been through? the least you can do for yourself is be comfortable in your own bed without a care in the world. you’ve experienced enough guilt. let yourself be free knowing that you deserve to rest. you deserve moments of stillness. enjoy the now. it’s all we have. we’re not always meant to be up and running. we simply weren’t made that way. there is beauty in stillness, peace, and quiet. don’t put it to shame. instead, let your mind, body, and soul experience more of it.

do things at your own pace. if you think you can get up, brush your teeth and that’s all that you can do for the day, so be it. don’t force yourself to do things you can’t handle. you’ll be doing more harm than good. take it day by day. add an extra task as days go on. do something you believe will be fulfilling like going on a quick walk around the block, going to the store to get a drink, baking a treat, sitting outside for a few minutes at a time.”

— blushydior in be kind to yourself. healing is a journey.

      𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔

read this with conviction: 

“as of this very moment, i am leaving my old and undesired self behind; the past mistakes, the unhealthy habits, how i used to treat myself and the way i allowed others to treat me, and all the pain i have held on to for so long. it’s all gone now. even if i may or may not have a clear vision of the dream person i am now embodying, i will remain open minded and brave into learning and growing each and everyday. i am not my past mistakes nor my trauma. i’m safe and secure now. and because i’m aware of my infinite power of having full control of my reality, i am rewriting my story.”

you are not your past mistakes. you are not the negative words you have been told. you are who you want to be. everything in your world holds absolutely no meaning unless you assign it meaning thus, giving it power. turn a blind eye to things that don’t serve you, put yourself first and watch how you will bloom vibrantly. 

      𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅.

NOTHING IS OUT OF REACH. everything you want is already within you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 

GIVE PERFECT A MEANING OF YOUR OWN! you are still an it girl if you make mistakes, you are still a healthy, recovering person with a few very tough days this week.

you are perfect for:

taking it easy 

always trying your best even if it doesn’t feel like it

making a mistake and learning from it

telling yourself: “i had a tough day today but it’s okay! i’m going to rest and take it easy. i’m okay. i am always doing my best. there’s nothing to worry about. tomorrow will be an amazing day.”

allowing yourself to cry, feel, and express your thoughts and emotions

putting your need first

using fear as an opportunity to grow

                YOU ARE PERFECT LIKE YOU.

             REMEMBER: THIS IS A JOURNEY

you will grow at your own pace naturally.

don’t compare yourself to others, they too had a past and obstacles to overcome (and still do!) to get where they are at right now. 

don’t rush into things, handling more than you could at once.

don’t beat yourself up for not knowing certain things earlier. everyone learns and realizes things differently. 

this is not a race, there’s no routine that is supposed to be one size fits all. this is a self paced journey. you will realize and see things at a different perspective as events unfold, you will outgrow the people around you and the bad habits as you find yourself at a more stable chapter in your life. don’t rush, don’t compare, just keep looking forward.

               𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

i have fully embodied my definition of a dream girl/boy/person.

i carry myself with full confidence and elegance.

there is not a day that goes by where i don’t do my best. 

i’m beautiful, intelligent, hardworking, kind, and gentle.

i am the best version of myself.

success is inevitable for me. i am successful at everything i do.

i have all of my desired qualities.

i become better and better each and every day!

my self awareness increases every second. i have the most perfect mental diet.

it’s so easy for me to persist in new and beneficial thoughts. flipping thoughts is just way too easy.

i am in full control of my reality. i am fully aware of my potential and i will never let anything or anyone affect me.

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

— Zen Shin

☆ here is the google doc (and better) version! ☆

[spacecrows]

The thing that really sucks about ADHD and ADHD meds for me is that it’s so difficult to tell if I am medicated properly or not? Like I know I am very lucky that the only other meds I ever really need are the occasional ibuprofen for a headache or something to help with nausea a few times a year (and like contraception and vitamins lol) - but when I am in pain I notice the pain I think “I should take an ibuprofen” and once I do the pain gets better and if it gets worse again I notice and take another. Same with nausea. It’s easy. But with ADHD, most of my “symptoms” when I am unmedicated just feel like character flaws? So for 20-something years before I knew I had ADHD I just thought I was just a procrastinator and stupid for not being able to read long texts and that I was really lazy and that I just got exhausted way too quickly and had to try harder and harder and harder and if I couldn’t, that was on me.  ANYWAY, when I finally did get my diagnosis it was already such a relief and such a help and therapy has also been really really good. But. The meds! I started taking meds and at first I didn’t notice much of a difference, because for me ADHD means that I have very high highs and very low lows, both in terms of mood and in terms of focus, productivity, etc. So when I started taking them, I thought I just had a few rather productive high functioning days. And since even on meds, things can still be difficult and the highs and lows are not gone completely, things were sort of blurry. But after a few weeks I forgot to get my prescription and went a couple days without them, and I realized this huge difference. I have not found my perfect meds yet, so I still struggle. But it is such an enourmous difference. Things are so much less difficult for me. Functioning is so much easier. It’s not like I am suddenly great at everything, I still forget 50% of the things I need to do and still procrastinate and still struggle with motivation, but things are doable. And I feel better about myself. Well, a month ago I changed my meds (mainly because I want to find something that gives me some inner peace and quiet once in a while? if anyone has any recommendations please let me know! magic mushrooms worked like a charm but ideally i’d like something. you know. legal. a girl can dream I guess). And I started with the lowest dosage. And that was evidently not enough for me. But I didn’t realize that I was not medicated properly, because there wasn’t some sort of distinct “symptom” to alert me. Instead, my sleep pattern slipped. Food was a struggle. Chores and urgent paperwork started to pile up. I felt days slipping by where I couldn’t get myself to do anything, really, not even hobbies I enjoy. And because it was gradual, and these are all things I struggle with (to some degree) even on meds, I didn’t realize what was happening. Instead, I got frustrated with myself. I thought “Wow, I am so lazy, I can’t get anything done. How do all my friends have their shit together and I just can’t cope? Why am I so stupid? Why am I such a procrastinator? Why don’t I have any energy? I am so undisciplined! I just really need to try harder!”. Needless to say, getting angry at myself didn’t really change much - except making me miserable. Until I realized that when I forgot to take my meds, I didn’t notice any difference. So I tried a higher dosage and suddenly, magically, I had the energy to do one or two small chores a day and answer one email and get out of bed and read a book I like and hang out with friends a few times a week.  But even after all that! I forgot to take my meds this morning, and I had the worst day. I was completely exhausted, felt weird, didn’t manage to reply to urgent messages from friends, took a depression nap and felt worse. Read the same page in my book over and over and over and over again and couldn’t make sense of it. Hated every single person on public transit that even breathed too loudly. Wanted to break out into tears on the tram (and nearly did). Only to realize around 5 pm that I hadn’t taken my meds. Took them, and pretty instantly felt better. I think I’ll tidy up my room a little now. And maybe even read a few chapters before bed. Things are fine. But I really really want some sort of inner alert that tells me if I have taken my meds and if the dosage works for me. Something like that. Please!!!

[moonspirit]

Ask game but I'm sliding in your inbox instead. 🤭 (sorry I'm bored and high on medication soo..)

(Ik, this is a hard question. You can choose the second question if you want)

what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

Or

do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?

Hiya Raine!

(and woah medication ._. I hope you're doing okay? Please take care of yourself ._.)

But about the questions - I can answer both!

Yknow, one year ago someone asked me the same thing regarding concrit and back then I said "Yeah sure! I welcome it". But since then my stance has changed, mostly because writing is one of the very few things that gives me genuine happiness these days, so unless I ask for it, I'd rather not receive it.

At the same time, I've always been the kind of person who appreciates critical feedback on everything I do so I can improve on the areas I lack in. However writing is a hobby atm, it's a way for me to escape and find some joy, and I don't want to invite negative comments and lose the happiness it gives me, especially considering I'm not in a very good headspace these days.

I believe that this is the general opinion in fanculture too and for good reason; if you like something, yes of course, please say it, it'll make someone's day, but if you don't like it then veer away.

As for consistent writing schedule - yes! I was posting every weekend until Dec 2023, but then some stuff in my life changed and I can no longer keep up with that schedule so it's once every 2 weeks now (or twice a month basically). I try to write a bit everyday so I don't push myself too hard. It also keeps me from procrastinating and eventually losing steam (which is what scares me most lol).

Thanks for the ask, Raine ._. please recover soon, or I hope you feel better at the very least :3

[continuous-spec]

🎲🪐🍦

Thank you for the ask! I appreciate it! ❤️

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? 

Honestly busy with my soon to be wife, family, friends. Good problems to have!

Or I’ll do productive procrastination for writing or drawing and like clean instead of doing my hobbies lol

Also playing video games and having ADHD

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

Getting married soon!

Planning for kid, just takes longer and more expensive cause life can’t find a way and biology isn’t as cooperative with two women.

Getting in shape, I joined a Pilates class after not being able to walk for five months has been fun!

Also fourth thing that’s related to actually writing: I got a sweet comment yesterday on my current mass effect AU fic. The commenter said they haven’t even played the games yet. And I’m just like? You don’t even go here and you enjoy it??? It was a lovely little surprise of a comment!

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

I’ll go with character I’m writing about. Harkin is taking up some screen time in my current fic. He’s sleezy and a dirty cop.

But I do enjoy writing him, there is something fun about writing characters who are just complete assholes. It lets me be an asshole

Second would be in the main game he is how Shepard tracks Garrus down later.

And uhhh I’m struggling for a third thing. Umm, his voice actor is well acted cause I believe that character as a scumbag. So kudos to him

[basiatlu]

Thanks for tagging me @lqtraintracks and @goblinmatriarch 🤭💖✨

-Three Ships-: ok so last time I avoided hp ships so let’s make them all hp-centric! I mean Drarry as an easy shot, then there’s Wolfstar (but it always makes me really sad so only little nibbles), and finally Ginny serves as my village bicycle where I enjoy her paired with almost anyone I deem compatible as I want to see her thriving in life and experiencing fun and safe partners and finding herself etc etc I adore her. How’s that for a run-on sentence?

-First Ship-: was totally SasuSaku which was then a gateway drug to shipping the angsty boy with Naruto because early internet image searches, man.

-Last Song-: “Blue Spotted Tail” by Fleet Foxes

-Last Movie-: Gunpowder Milkshake - so good about 8/10 for me!

-Currently Reading-: reading through my paired fics for the upcoming Big Bang fest

-Last Thing I Wrote Drew-: yesterday’s drawtober prompt

-Currently Writing Drawing-: today’s drawtober prompt (totally not even procrastinating - not even a little bit)

-Are you named after anyone?-: I am! There’s the Polish jazz singer, Basia Trzetrzelewska. My mom is a big fan hehehe

-Favorite Subject in School-: History! Ancient history specifically

-Do you have kids?-: No, but I do have a circus of cats. They’re currently on a diet and have made the last month a terrible time for my sleep health lolz

-When was the last time you cried?-: so I have overactive tear ducts? So if I laugh I cry and I usually hit a breaking point everyday where I laugh hysterically at something. Today it was a sticker order a customer at work had ordered of an ms paint tracing of a Scooby-Doo ai splice gen where Scooby is eating the Mystery Gang in a giant hoagie sandwich. Yeah. Me and my co workers printed it out to pin to the wall as I cry/laugh/sobbed at my desk.

-Do you use sarcasm a lot?-: Yes but also no but also I just make fun of myself constantly and intentionally act stupid. It’s a great ploy to get others to lower their defenses around you. Not out of malicious intent, just I don’t take myself too seriously in order to save that energy for when it matters. Like when I have to intensely support my friends and partner with very serious-mode love and affection. … this doesn’t make any sense.

-What sports do you play/have played?-: soccer, softball, and swim <— I hate competitive sports and never stuck with them long than a year or I just was a filthy casual doing summer seasons/clubs. I’m more of a hiker and leisure gal.

-What’s the first thing you notice about people?-: the way they hold their shoulders and hands, secondary is their eyebrows and nose. It’s all demeanor and posture for me.

-Any special talents?-: gosh um I can cook really well. Honestly I don’t like eating out and neither does my partner because we turn to each other after and go “Eh it was ok but…” and wish I had done it at home instead. I can fold and make odd shapes with my tongue, can crinkle my fingers in odd ways (double jointed, but they lock badly so no thank you), and I can do some fucking weird voices/imitations but I chicken out in front of others beyond like 3 people, unfortunately for those 3

-Where we’re you born?-: Canada

-What are your hobbies?-: video games, tarot card readings, cooking, drawingdrawingdrawing, and reading

-How tall are you?-: I hover somewhere between 5’6” and 5’7”

-Dream Job-: comic artist / self-employed artist with occasional contract work for publishing/movies. I think if I could completely support myself and have a savings with a Patreon or the like that would make me so accomplished and at ease.

Ok enough of that!! I tag people now, yeah? @mono-chromia @hihimissamericanbi @littlewinnow

[lesbianrobin]

howdy em, any advice for focusing on studies instead of my hobbies? I love my fandom blurbs so much but sometimes it’s to my downfall xp

babes i appreciate your high opinion of me but i am SO not the bitch to ask. i'm literally terrible at time management and focusing on boring shit FKVJDJD but here's some stuff that sorta works for me. sorta.

incorporate your interests into your schoolwork whenever possible. obviously this is gonna be a task of varying difficulty depending on the assignment and what you're studying, but if you Can write your paper about stranger things or create a fun visual project in photoshop to display your data or whatever, you're gonna be more motivated to work.

sorta on that note you know that thing where you read a fanfic and it's like so incredibly obvious that the author works in a specific field or has expertise with a specific thing? you could be that author. if you can't incorporate your interests into your work, try incorporating your work into your interests! idk about you but i definitely have more fun and feel more motivated when i'm researching for a fic than i do when i'm just doing a random assigned reading. as you study, you might keep a list in the back of your mind of ways that this could potentially benefit a future fic or whatever to keep you engaged.

i personally once made a stranger things gifset to explain the history of color in film to procrastinate studying for my film history final and guess what! i was actually just studying for my film history final! in a weird ass nerd way!!

be flexible with your studies. i typically write at least 50% of any given assignment on my phone, because i'll get ideas at random moments or seize small pieces of downtime throughout the day to get work done. it can be helpful to designate certain times and spaces for schoolwork, but in my own personal experience, sometimes that can make the whole thing feel much more intimidating, and i won't get any more work done than i would have while typing on my phone in bed. i also find that restricting schoolwork to a specific time/place makes me view it as more of an obligation, when the truth is that i love what i study! i love to learn! so, i try to treat my studies as a hobby whenever possible. my fic and paper writing processes are nearly identical, and i think that helps in easing some of the pressure and dread that might accompany the thought of Writing A Paper.

this one is boring but just. reward yourself when you do focus on your studies! when i used to pull late nights in undergrad to get my work done on time, i would often take a trip to sonic when i was around halfway through with my work, for both a brain reset and a little reward. the first time i did it, i just didn't have any food for dinner in my apartment, but it quickly became a ritual that made me look forward to getting work done.

study in public when possible. this one sounds so stupid but literally the power of knowing that anybody around you in the starbucks or library or whatever could see you on tumblr/ao3/etc is NOT to be underestimated! i am a very insecure and self conscious person and i use this to my advantage. would you rather that cool-looking girl at the table next to you see you thoughtfully annotating marx or scrolling aimlessly through ao3? think about it.

ok that's like most of it i guess! but in all honestly i am still figuring it out myself. i think the key is just to keep on trying. it takes time to figure out what works for you and what doesn't, and there are gonna be times when you screw up and make a poor choice that backfires. instead of thinking about how much you suck, or writing it off entirely, look at these instances as opportunities to learn and consider how you might set yourself up to make better choices in the future.

anyway i'll get off my high horse and shut up now LMAO thank you for like thinking i am smart enough to come to with such a question. good luck!

[birdstooth]

Drawing MASTERCLASS

lol jk thought I’d show some of the process here in case your other favs aren’t online and u have a couple of min to waste while waiting for the bus

🎵Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair🎶

On the left, u have janky first draft, and on the right, u have less janky second draft😅. Depending on how much time I spent on draft 2, I might do a final cleaner version, and then then add colours :)

My hard limit for a doodle/comic is 3 drafts for reasons that I will go into below, but basically I find that if I try too hard, it triggers the perfectionist demon and then it’s not fun anymore lmaoo

For me, 2-3 drafts is the balance between making something I can look at without cringing, and still have fun drawing lines and shapes.

Also it’s ok to have a very very, objectively bad first draft. My brain is like Swiss cheese so if I spend too long trying to get something down on (virtual) paper by making it look nice, half the idea floats away before I can make a record of it.

So first of all, since this is the unofficial website for ppl with crippling anxiety (roll call! 🙋‍♀️), just thought I’d say: if u are on the fence about posting your [content] online, go for it!!

I used to look at all this really cool [content] (art, writing, photography w/e) and be like “wow, that’s some good content! I’ve got a long ways to go before my content can reach that standard!”.

Or sometimes, I would see amazing content with very few notes and think “whoa, if this extremely accurate recreation of the Mona Lisa made with used gum found under park benches has only 12 notes, it’s not really worth posting what I have, right?”

But then at some point I decided that it was easier (for me) to make stuff that was vaguely funny instead of “good”, so I stopped trying to draw the perfect shapes with the perfect shading, etc. and just went with like, the minimum accuracy required for an object to be recognizable lol.

I’m not saying don’t chase your dreams or whatever, but try not to force yourself into a style or content type that doesn’t suit you. I have a short attention span and a zillion ideas, so for me, it’s actually much more satisfying to make these goofy little doodles bc I can do quick sketches between procrastinating at work, or while I’m watching my dinner rotate in the microwave 🥲.

When I was in my “every drawing must be perfect” phase, I would spend hours on making sure the proportions were realistic, and the lines were clean, and spend days or weeks in a single piece. Some people are suited to this kind of work and have the patience to see it through, but for me it was very unsatisfying and sapped my motivation so I decided to be realistic about my abilities + the time I have available to improve my skills (I think this is very important bc u might have the patience and the work ethic to practice, practice, practice until you are at the top of your game, but if you have a job or school or other obligations, it might not fit into your schedule) and do a kind of compromise.

Yeah, I’m still envious of other people’s content and no, I don’t think my content is the BEST I can do, but it’s a balance between doing what I like and getting satisfaction out of it. Sometimes, if you push yourself too hard, you end up hating what was supposed to be a hobby, u know?

[jellyfishrunaway]

Finally creating my yuusona/yuu insert bc I'm bored

(Notes in parenthesis are things not known by the other characters bc they forget to tell people stuff, + prev. = in their home world, cur. = in twisted wonderland)

PS: the home world/language section is under the impression that twst common tongue is English, including in NRC and that Latin is a dead language there

Slight chapter 5 spoilers in extra!

<Basic info>

BIO

Name: Yu (they haven't told anyone their last name, so just Yu.)

Birthday: During one of the school breaks (July 12, cancer)

Pronouns: he/him (will also respond to they/them) but creator usually refers to him with they/them

Age: 18

Height: 5'2 / ~ 157.48 cm

Dominant hand: right

Homeland: unknown land (US)

Family: unnamed mother, unnamed father, unnamed older half sister

Voiced by/ voiced claim: currently n/a

Other names: Yellowtail rock fish (floyd), Trickster (rook) (couldn't think of anything so... yeah)

SCHOOL

Grade: freshman/first year (but previously mentioned on how they were a third year before coming to twisted wonderland, but because of their magicless-ness, they have to stay a first year, not that they really care all that much)

Class: Class C (no. 15)

Club: n/a or literature club (also debating if they should be in art club, but to my knowledge, neither of these clubs have been confirmed, so...)

Favorite subject: prev. N/A, science cur. Potionology/alchemy

Best subject: prev. Math, social studies cur. Potionology/alchemy

PREFERANCES

Hobbies: Most forms of art including: painting, sewing, jewelry making, Keychain making, ect. Walking in a circle for hours and day dreaming.

Pet peeves: abuse of power, people that make him uncomfortable

Favorite food: prev. Those mf rice n' roonie microwave things cur. Steak

Least favorite food: Moose/chocolate Moose

+ allergic to hazel nuts, avocados, and almond

Talent: if interested enough, can quickly find ways around seemingly impossible things / problem solving

<extra info>

PERSONALITY TYPES

Intp-t

9w8

PERSONALITY (as described by creator)

People pleaser, if you're rude to them, they are rude to you, could beat someone's ass but is literally to nice, madilaptive daydreamer, procrastinator, severely underestimates them self, probly has self esteme issues, but they loyal and genuinely a nice person to people thye like, thinks there is a basic line of respect and people have to earn to be more respected by them/respect is earned, not given,

PERSONALITY (as described by oc)

Pretty boring, procastintor, an asshole sometimes, annoying ig

HOMEWORLD

Past relationships: n/a

Friends: 4 unnamed, mentioned best friend nicknamed Alph but actual name is unknown, old friend named Ellory

Living status: was upper middle class before coming to twisted wonderland

LANGUAGE

Language: Everything is basically the same, but Latin (the dead language) replaces English. This doesn't interfere with the past, but basically, language developed to swap Latin with English, so English speaking countries (America, Canada, Britain, ect?) just speak Latin instead.

"Then how does Yuu know English if it's a dead language?"

Yuu took up learning English because they were interested in it, and they had nothing to do, so they picked it up as a hobby

EXTRA:

During SDC, once Vil was done overbloting, they passive aggressively lectured him in Latin, and to this day, nobody knows what they said

I will answer questions in comments/reblogs, may add to this later (and maybe, I'll draw them them if i feel like it)

+ will add relation chart later

[greeneyedvamp]

Things that tend to help with my skin picking

None of these things are foolproof and I haven't yet stopped completely, but doing several consistently tends to reduce the amount of picking I do whenever I manage to stick with them long enough. Might edit occasionally with relevant observations.

Taking care of my mental wellbeing

This is something I've historically been terrible at, so it's more of an aspirational reminder for myself than a tip. I place it first as the most determining - none of the other ones will work unless I 1) don't need skin picking to cope and 2) have the emotional capacity to care about it. I tend to get extremely anxious about grades during academic semesters, and skin picking becomes an "affordable" method of procrastination, a calming ritual at the end of a stressful day and a way to focus when I read and write. So I need to find more fulfilling activities to do when I'm not studying and work on shifting my identity away from academic achievement. My (achievable) goals for next semester, based on previous experiences, are to: - keep a study planner and spread tasks across a week rather than trying to do everything within one day and as soon as possible - allocate a daily minimum for time to rest (which can involve established hobbies or doing nothing (see Jenny Odell)) - journal - divine whenever needed - meet different friends at least once a week regardless of how busy I am - drink herbal teas while I study to keep my mind calm and my hands occupied - go for walks to places I like or sit outside every other day - set less ambitious goals for uni art projects (and talk to a teacher about expectations and burnout prior to project brainstorm) - read fiction to expand my experience of the world

Multistep skincare kits

My mum got me a set of four ordered skincare products, and I've noticed that the desire to pick that often precedes or follows using a cleanser can be replaced with the desire to go through the steps one by one if I haven't been picking for a couple of hours prior to doing skincare.

Covering problematic areas with BB cream in the mornings

I think this is by far the most effective one for me. I can't as easily see redness and imperfections in the mirror from afar if they're covered with skin colour, so I'm not as compelled to come close, and I avoid touching my face when I don't see it if I'm scared of disturbing the uniformity. Doing this first thing in the morning after cleansing has allowed my face to heal completely on multiple occasions (except for pigmentation left behind), and my most devastating relapses happened when I either put it off or stopped doing it when my face was healed. It works as a preventative measure but can't make me stop once I've started. It also only works if applied only to the butterfly zone and forehead, because bb cream on my chin and temples feels disgusting and has the opposite effect.

Keeping my hair clean

When it gets greasy, I start to avoid looking at my reflection as a whole and instead focus in on small details, which, combined with a feeling of grossness, leads to me picking. I try to wash my hair more often to avoid this.

Treating my seborrheic dermatitis & eczema

Picking at my scalp and eczema often lead to damaging normal skin too, so getting rid of them has somewhat reduced the behaviour. Life also became a lot nicer when I stopped having to be ashamed of the very visible snowfall of dandruff that accompanied me, the habit of constantly picking at my itchy scalp, and of hairdressers seeing the scales and scabs.

Using a dim light source instead of ceiling lights

The first time I did this (using the light of a phone screen, before I moved to candles), I was surprised at how calm the experience was, as the anxiety associated with picking (that I didn't know I had) disappeared. Definitely works for this one time of day, but I might keep looking for a more comfortable light, because candles are intimidating.

Applying bold eye makeup

I've noticed that sometimes my picking is fuelled by the desire to frequently observe changes on my face; this becomes my reason to get up in the morning. Drawing bold black lines and experimenting with eye shadow fulfills this desire too, but in a much more fun and diverse way, and it provides an outlet for perfectionism - instead of seeking skin textures to fix, I can touch up on or change the makeup. I wouldn't be comfortable wearing it out in public, but it's fun to do at home. Unfortunately, I don't do it often enough for it to help in the long-term.

Fidget toy

I often pick to occupy my hands whenever I'm on my phone or reading a book. Carrying a fidget spinner with me at all times and taking it out whenever I open my kindle helps. My cat fears it though.

Asking my mum not to scold me

My picking was often aggravated by the fear of my mum getting mad at the sight of my face: I'd stay in the bathroom longer, waiting for the redness to subside and blood to clot, which would result in me going at it a second and third time; an aesthetician I went to also worsened the feeling of shame with comments. At some point I wrote a message to her explaining that she's not being helpful, and we agreed that I would make an effort and she would stop talking about it, although she can tell me to stop if I'm picking in her presence. I also asked to stop seeing the aesthetician and she let me. This slightly improved the state of my skin but significantly lifted the emotional burden

[everythingpurple]

So I made a pro and con list of my bf. Sadly I struggled to get to 10 pros but I wanted to share my con list so someone will hold me accountable lol

- not proactive

- gets mean when drunk

- never knows when it’s time to leave the party

- self centered

- told me to smile more when my father had cancer

- has poor spending habits (he just bought a shirt that doesn’t fit for 60€?)

- claims to be an overthinker but quite rarely thinks about the consequences of his own actions

- procrastinator

- lazy and messy

- boring

- always brings up old fights, holds grudges

- not very supportive when it comes to my mental health

- complains a lot

- always has a headache

- sleeps A LOT

- we have different day/night rhythms

- we don’t like the same movies, foods and hobbies

- he forgets to eat (which triggers me)

- he doesn’t take care of his body

- prone to burnout / normal tasks are very hard for him

- forgetful

- behaves very different (and weird?) around other people, is not authentic

- doesn’t have many real friends (but does think so?)

- extroverted in the most annoying way

- believes in physical love between him and his female friends but gets jealous when I’m around male friends?

- when I don’t give him something he will get it somewhere else

- listens to disagree

- would rather do nothing at than make a mistake

- rarely plans dates

- didn’t think twice about moving away for school

- gets envious about other people’s skills but refuses to improve in his own

- doesn’t care about learning new things

- doesn’t follow the news or listens to podcasts that are not purely entertaining

- Refuses to read nonfiction (or anything apart from a very specific genre)

- weirdly obsessed with his outfits/looks

- judgemental - often talks rudely of people

- tries very hard to be like his parents?

- told me he thinks fat people are ugly even tho he knows I struggle with eating

- can’t read the room or judge a persons character (often thinks obvious assholes are nice?)

- Pretends to be very aware of everything but does rarely do research

- never plans dinner/cooks without me asking

- unorganized

- does everything last minute

- has an annoying perfume allergy

- very dependent of his mother

- can be a real manchild

- doesn’t notice when I gain or lose a lot of weight even though he knows about the ed

- isn’t romantic

- let the plants that I gave him die

- gets migraines when sleep deprived -> parenting?!

- keeps asking how he can help instead of just finding something helpful to do

- His sink is always filled with dirty dishes

- judges me for not sharing the male gaze?

- convinced that he’s an Allan instead of a ken?

- doesn’t know his limits when it comes to drinking/ believes throwing up is not a limit??

- told me he couldn’t live without me when he thought I would leave him

- ran out when I told him not to talk down to me

- would rather watch a YouTube video than talking to me after not seeing each other for 2 weeks

- describes his ex as crazy

- didn’t stop drinking when I was struggling with my past (addiction in the family)

- gets VERY offended when I point out he’s drunk or hungover

- wanted unprotected sex

- needs A LOT of reassurance

- most arguments are only resolved if I apologize first even if I have nothing to be sorry for

- he’s not extroverted per se he just can’t sit with his own thoughts for more than 2 minutes

- pretends to be very mature when he clearly isn’t & makes passive aggressive comments

- told me he thinks I’m not as reflected as he is

- wants me to act like his mom

- can’t and won’t do anything on his own

- corrects me in the most annoying situations

- arrogant (but only to cover up his insecurities I guess)

[captainhysunstuff]

How do you deal with continuous, seemingly raging artblock? I want to draw but damn— my hatred towards my own art seems unforgivable. It's like whatever that was produced by my own two hands will cause carnage, a sin dissaproves by all humanity.

Hmmmmmm, I’m probably not the best person to ask for advice on overcoming art blocks unfortunately. It’s such a paaaain. I 100% relate to your feelings, and overcoming them isn’t easy.

Also, my methods aren't exactly the healthiest either, but I'll share regardless. Just keep that in mind. Ehehe.

(I'll put a Read More. It's a little lengthy.)

Whenever I find myself not drawing for a long period of time, I try to reinstate drawing as an addiction or habit. Have it become a craving that's only satisfied by actually drawing something--anything--regardless of quality. In recent days, my art block stems from a lack of being able to multitask and being unable to focus on the drawing process (being tired from work doesn't help either). Therefore, setting aside a space to draw helps, too. Putting on some music you find easy to zone out to or help your flow helps.

The hatred towards your own work is a very hard hurdle to jump. I suppose the key to this is to learn to stop criticizing every stroke you make. Be at peace that not every mark made in the moment is gonna be perfect. This is way easier said than done of course, but when I start falling into the "everything I do is crap and unworthy of eyes" hole, I try to remember that not everything I draw has to be shared. I'm not getting paid to do this (not sure about you, but that's my situation). It's a hobby, and it's supposed to be fun. It's not life or death for me if the character's eyes are skewed or their head is annoyingly asymmetrical. I'd love to be a master artist and have every work I make be a masterpiece, but I'm allowed to draw "crap." If you really feel like your subject isn't coming out the way you want, find or make references to work from and feel good about the effort you put in. There's never any shame in using references. The more you draw, the better you get. That's a straight fact. Eventually, you won't need refences, and that's a pretty cool feeling~.

Basically, if you're facing a bout of art block, try and doodle something with the mindset that it doesn't have to be perfect, and no one has to see it unless you want to share it. You could always surprise yourself and be like, "Hey, this is actually pretty cool~. Check it out!" But if that doesn't happen, it's okay. It's not a failure. Just add the drawing to the pile and bask in the satisfaction that you actually put strokes to the page, and you've gotten a bit better just by doing so. (That's kind of the point of my whiteboard to be honest~. I also use it to hold up my recent drawings or pages of my comic as a reminder to draw and of how far I've come along in whatever "project" I'm working on. It's neat to see it all hanging up in a physical space. It's a little bit guilt trippy to myself, but it does put a clear bookmark in where I am when I pick it back up, and I can edit it whenever I see something strange as I walk by it~.)

If the block stems from lack of inspiration rather than skill, try exposing yourself to some new media (a new show, movie, book, fanfiction...) or do something that stimulates your brain like going outside or talking to your friends. Don't feel like these activities are procrastinating from creating. They are necessary aspects of your life, and you shouldn't feel guilt for doing them instead of drawing something. Your art isn't made in a vacuum. While out in the "field," you may encounter something that inspires an idea that you can't wait to express through your medium ("Whoa. I HAVE to draw this when I get back!" Write it down if you can so you don't forget~). If you're really passionate about drawing, the urge will come back, and you'll find the time to try and sketch something, even if it's small. I'll admit, I don't do these life things as often as I should, so I need to take my own advice, lol. The list of new stuff I wanna check out is massive~. I am working on leaving my home and observing my surroundings more often though (Covid makes it a little difficult, but I get by).

I know your question was more about trying not to hate your own work, but I also addressed things that I felt were relevant because they make me want to draw regardless of how I feel about the end result. Try your best to not compare yourself to others too much and draw for yourself more. Acknowledge that you want to improve, but don't beat yourself up for not meeting your self-imposed standard of "perfect." So, draw with lower expectations sometimes, I guess? *shrugs and laughs* Like I said, the more you draw, the better your get. Even if you personally think it looks like crap, be like, "Yeah, I did that!" Just own it. Own your "carnage~." ^__^

(*laughs* Carnage. That's such a great way to refer to one's artwork~.)

[rize-is-writing]

I just came across your blog and saw match-up reqs are open so hi I'd like to request a genshin match-up (platonic & romantic if it's alr, preferably male charas!) I'm 19 btw, she/her pronouns.

Personality:

My myers is inxj, enneagram is 5w4. Don't know if it's relevant, but my zodiac sign is aries. I'm driven and ambitious to an extent. I'm rather organized as well, everything that screams messy irks me (so I guess a little perfectionist too?). I like challenges, as I see it as an opportunity to test and improve myself. I guess that leads to me being kinda optimistic, but also realistic at the same time (??). I also like to try new things, deviating from what's usual. One of the traits that I value most to myself and others is dedication and loyalty. I also take promises seriously, I take no bs. Despite all of that though, I'm actually quiet and reserved. I try to maintain a calm demeanor so I can work on problems without stressing out much even if I'm quite literally dying on the inside.

Hobbies:

In my free time, I like to do physical exercises. Playing video games and watching some sort of horror/crime/mystery movie or show. I like writing as well (poems and proses in particular). Moon-gazing and stargazing are also on top of the list. Idk if it counts but I like to think... it's kinda weird, but I like to get inside my head and think...

Lastly, playing w/ dogs.

Ideal type:

I tend to gravitate towards people who are rather similar to me. Someone who values organization and time-efficiency bc I don't like to waste resources. I also like people who I can compete with in good spirits, and sees it as a way to improve themselves instead of to raise themselves above me (we should be equals). Maybe I can use an empath as well, sensitive to the other's feelings and mood. I don't mind if they're quiet or loud, just as long as they can respect and understand privacy and alone time (bc I need it a lot).

I guess that would be it. Thank you sm!

I found your match! Come to meet them, c'mon c'mon!

I couldn't help but notice how Ayato kind of sticks with your personality and ideal type: he is an efficient man, with his own ambitions with the head on his shoulders, and knows to read people's emotions and moods, even the slightest shift wouldn't go unnoticed with this guy (it's actually scary of you think about it), and would immediately see whenever you are troubled or not and check on you, or if you need space just give it to you.

He isn't one to trumple you or see you as lesser in any way, despite his... Ways. ("oh... So you collect these", "mh, yeah, very nice" flashbacks. I mean- this bitch of a man), so of course he would truly like a good challenge.

He would admire your personality, since is quite similar to him as he too values loyalty above any other trait, as much as your dedication in what you do. Is truly admirable, as he would say.

He doesn't have any particular hobby on his own, as he is a person fully dedicated to his work and to his duty so trying your hobbies when he finds the time would please him (just don't complain if he spoils who the criminal is in the criminal/mistery books- he would do it just for fun or for challenge)

Plus he is a dog guy, so I don't know if that's a plus but just saying-

Hey! There's someone who wishes to know you! Let me introduce the two of you.

Keqing is pretty much an ambitious person, who also like you sees things realistically too. She doesn't waste time, and isn't one to procrastinate either. But she also doesn't look at only her interests, of course: we all know Keqing is a softie. Is what makes her a great friend! Keqing has empathy, even with all her bluntness.

She would of course care about how you feel and what you need and also respect your time.

She is always one to look for improvement as well, be it in herself or society around her and doesn't beat around the bush in the matter either.

So, to sum everything up, I think that two people like you if teamed up might kick us, with all due humbleness.