#and fell into shadowgast from there

[chi-arts]

Some Shadowidomauk for the soul!

This is actually my favorite ship to ever in all of critical role and somehow I only drew them now :’)  I totally blame Molly’s design for that lmao

also shoutout to altogether infinite, possibilities for continueing to feed us <3 go read it on ao3 it’s so, so good!

[essek-thelyss]

having a category 5 shadowgast moment

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Round 3, poll 3, bracket A

Propaganda for the Leverage trio: "Parker/Hardison is canon since S4/5, Elliot fell for them later. OT3 confirmed via word of God. Eliot is the one most suited for literal battle but the other two can kick ass when required and the three of them battle capitalism via crime 24/7."

"the time Parker asked Eliot what the worst thing he ever did was and he said "Don't ask me that Parker. Because if you ask me… I'll tell you. so please don't ask me"

the time Parker begged Eliot to help her return a body to a widow because she desperately needed to be a good person and he talked her down because he knows she's good in her own way

The desperation Eliot and Parker felt when Hardison was buried alive

Hardison buying a brew pub for Eliot

Hardison waiting patiently for Parker to be ready for a relationship because she has issues with people and feelings so he let it be a slow burn

Parker taking a bomb away from Hardison so he wouldn't get hit if she couldn't neutralize it

finale spoilers: the time they all died holding hands (they're fine now)"

Propaganda for Shadowgast: "again, what's sexier than wizards NOTHING! they're wizards! they're war criminals! Essek shows affection by crushing assassin's that try to kill Caleb into tiny balls with magic and Caleb shows affection by throw Essek at the healers when he's polymorphed as a giant ape! forehead kisses! you were not born with venom in your veins! young man! there's SO MUCH"

[mareastrorum]

Hmm… because I’m curious and wish to encourage violence… 13 and 23.

13. worst blorboficiation

Man, this is a toss up between Molly and Essek.

Molly was not a good person. Molly was unaligned and dipped into callousness. I truly mean that, Molly was cruel at times. Molly’s first instinct was to resort to violence to snap Caleb out of a stupor, even though it was followed up by a forehead kiss that most of his fans romanticize. He wanted to abandon Kiri as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to help the Schuester kids in Hupperdook until Fjord piped up that it was personal to him. Like, I eventually came around to liking Molly because that is a very daring character choice by Taliesin. Molly was a problematic queer, not because his queerness had anything to do with his bad traits, but because he wasn’t a saint, and that took guts to portray queer characters in a negative light given this audience. Then Molly got martyred and all that complexity was ignored. Now he’s just a soft blorbo.

Essek also isn’t a soft cushy boy. He did not care who got killed or hurt as long as he could do the research he wanted to. He did not care for anyone but himself. Those were choices. He didn’t hesitate to hurt or kill people, he just got nervous when he realized he was in situations where opponents could strike back. He cowered when he realized he was vulnerable. It took time for him to choose to take risks like that, to trust people when he wasn’t trusted, and he grew because of it. But a lot of shadowgast fans insist that Essek fell in love with Caleb during the stream or even immediately upon meeting, which, like, no. I think Essek was clearly hoping for friendship from Caleb and the Nein by E141, but I don’t think that had developed into anything romantic or sexual by then. But most portrayals of Essek are nervous, demure, and shy without the cutting, dry sarcasm that I love.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

Widomauk and Shadowidomauk. I know that’s surprising given the above answers, but here goes:

Generally, I am not much of a shipper. I tend to crackship for the lolz, especially when the ship is guaranteed to crash and burn. I am a fan of conflict. Because of that, those two ships didn’t appeal to me because most fan writers and artists tend to depict them as very soft, domestic, tame, etc. That’s not a dig on other people who enjoy that, it just doesn’t appeal to me all that much.

Then I learned the evil AU versions exist, and it hit me: they don’t even have to be in an evil AU to butt heads. They absolutely would have some conflict built in because of how Caleb’s background collides against Molly’s worldview and Essek’s hangups. There is so much potential for explosive drama and pain. THEY COULD BE TERRIBLE FOR EACH OTHER.

And sure, you could have them kiss and make up after, but I want the conflict first.

Choose violence ask game.

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

This week, we have six recs for fics that either are an alternative telling of travelercon or otherwise take place on Rumblecusp! Check them out underneath the cut, and don't forget to comment or kudos if you like them!

A Favor Accepted by SanJoinedtheRecinCorps (211727, General) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

A canon divergence from ep97, this incredible fic showcases our beloved Shadowgast as Essek learns how to have friends. And of course, it’s Essek at Travelercon!

Reccer says: This is a fantastic story and well written. There’s already so much wonderful story and there’s still some to tell!

The Joys and Perils of Field Research by bob_fish, enemytosleep (28619, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek try (and largely fail) to make time on Rumblecusp, but their friends are very nosy.

Reccer says: It's a great comedy of errors, and the scene between Essek and Artagan is one of my favorite scenes out of any CR fanfic I've read to date.

I know there's something (in the wake of your smile) by professor (5272, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

It’s a lovely morning on the island of Rumblecusp, and Caleb is forgetting something. But it can’t be anything too important … right?

Reccer says: Funny and sweet

Fell in love with the fire long ago by quinn_of_aebradore (3680, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

This is a future and there is peace. And it begins one night, during a visit to Rumblecusp.

Reccer says: so soft and sweet

Something Tragic About You by literalfuckinggarbage (44807, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence, suicidal ideation

What if Caleb lost his memories on Rumblecusp, then turned to Essek for help?

Reccer says: A delight from beginning to end, with some fun twists and turns along the way - I especially love Verin's insertion into all of this.

To Have Owned The Sun by Dragonslaeyr (59213, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

They say the crumbling town on the island of Rumblecusp had a name once, but the signage was washed out to sea years ago. Caleb Widogast—healthy, healing, and currently a little directionless—only wants to know why nobody in this strange town seems to have heard of Essek Thelyss—arrogant, arcanist, and the man Caleb is half in love with—especially seeing as he's been living there for years.

Reccer says: It's cozy, atmospheric and a very sweet mystery

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with one of our recurring weeks: Older Favorites!

[wizardnuke]

we've been over this but veth's pov of shadowgast is so funny. the guy that you had a situationship with for like six months while you were both recovering from horrible traumatic situations and forged an unbreakable one of a kind bond with fell in love with the guy who oversaw the war crimes imprisonment and interrogation of your husband. and like he knew that. when he fell in love with him.

[justalittlebluetiefling]

There was so little Essek, I’m honestly surprised you said that this was “for you and your mutuals”

So like, I wasn't going to answer this because from the other asks I had, I'm pretty sure you didn't have a Good Time™ but tbh I have to because GUYS WHAT MY BRAND IS SLIPPING.

Listen, there is one thing and one thing only that you need to know about me. I am a Mighty Nein Girl™. I feel like I've curated a good space for me that happens to be full of people who were also pretty pleased with how C2 ended. I am a Beauyasha shipper, I am a Shadowgast shipper, I am a FJORESTER shipper first and foremost. I almost fell out of my seat when Trent's little messages threatened Essek. Fjord and Jester spent this entire episode crazy in love with each other. Travis looked hot. Fjord got SEXIER. Yasha did over 150 damage in one turn. Caduceus cast Mass Heal and got everyone back up to full hit points. I could go on but I've got places to be today unfortunately.

But yeah, I'll put it back up at the top of my bio so hopefully no one forgets again.

[critter-rarepair-reccs]

Hey all, hope everyone's having a good Wednesday! Today we have eight whump fics for your enjoyment! Some are on the lighter side, some are much heavier, so don't forget to mind the warnings! As always, you can find them below the cut and if you check any of them out, I encourage you to leave kudoes and comments to spread the rarepair love 🩷

if you must falter, be wise by mabarihound (3,546 words, Explicit) Pairing: Eadwulf Grieve/Essek Thelyss (Esswulf) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Unhappy Ending, Dubious Consent, Cannibalism, Body Horror

Wulf dies but Essek brings him back as a vampire, a la the Briarwoods.

Reccer Says: unhappy ending TO YOU. I'm built different. Essek is so fucking insane in this, Wulf is barely human, there's so much blood and bad sex, it's gruesome and sad and amazing. Love doesn't fix anything but it makes a thrilling story!

The Self in the Other by fjorests_of_wildemount (1,010 words, Teen) Pairing: Astrid Beck/Eadwulf Grieve (Blumenduo) Warnings: None

After killing some of Trent’s loyalists, Astrid and Wulf head home to tend their wounds.

Reccer Says: It’s a delicious glimpse into what post-C2 might look like for these two and I love it. Their dynamic oozes of the decade and a half of history between them and it’s so good.

Crowned Teeth (or, an Offering Revoked) by fruitzbat (130,570 words, Mature) Pairing: Kingsley Tealeaf/Original Female Character Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Slavery, Mentioned but Not Depicted Sexual Violence

Kingsley escapes being kidnapped by pirates after being mutinied against. Finding himself a long way from home, Kingsley then resorts to hunting the people responsible down with the help of a new ragtag bunch of misfits that call him captain.

Reccer Says: With respect to the rarepair, I think it's a fun dynamic. fruitzbat does a really good job of capturing all of those weird, uncomfortable nooks and crannies that come with new relationships. And I think most importantly, Kingsley really stretches his wings as his own person. There is such a clear vision of what he's like and how that's distinct from Molly and Lucien, and that clearness really carries throughout both this piece and the rest of the series.

which is a tenderness. by redhoods (5,724 words, Mature) Pairing: Fjord/Caleb Widogast (Widofjord) Warnings: Fjord-typical Self Harm, Fantasy Racism

Caleb returns to the tavern and learns Fjord has gotten hurt in a bar fight then locked himself in their room, refusing healing.

Reccer Says: Fjord angst and tender wound care *chef's kiss* (and also just a touch of trans Fjord)

i feel you, your precious soul by glossolali (6009 words, Mature) Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss (Shadowmauk) Warnings: Offscreen Past Non-Consensual Body Modification, Mentions of Limb Loss & Amputation, Mentions of Disordered Eating, Selective Mutism, Panic Attacks

Essek, a cyberware expert, medical technician and researcher, helps his friends save Mollymauk’s life using what he knows best. What he didn't count on, was the connection that would develop between them, and his own misgivings about it.

Reccer Says: Cyberpunk/cybernetics AU, Essek has mixed feelings about fixing up Molly, and about initiating a relationship (established shadowgast, established widomauk, but Essek hasn't said anything to Molly about them yet). Its great <3 mollymauk's half cybernetic/prosthetics, and the malfunctioning is pretty oof

fell in love with the fire long ago by BananasofThorns (2,501 words, Teen) Pairing: Fjord/Caleb Widogast (Widofjord) Warnings: Mind Control, Burns

Caleb has been mind controlled and is attacking the party with deadly intent. Fjord has a ring of fire resistance and a bad plan.

Reccer Says: What's not to love about a person being forced to hurt those they care about and then blaming themself for it? I've rearead this 3 times.

by the water by nonbinarywithaknife (578 words, Teen) Pairing: Veth Brenatto/Yeza Brenatto Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Nott-Typical Alcoholism

In Felderwin, Nott sits by the river and remembers.

Reccer Says: Mostly sad, briefly sweet. She's really been going through it😢

Peace At Last by HyperKid (4,770 words, Mature) Pairing: Jester Lavorre/Mollymauk Tealeaf (Jestermauk) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Mentioned Past Character Death

After Cognouza, Jester takes some quiet time to herself in the Blooming Grove. Molly finds her and they cuddle and talk through some difficult emotions.

Reccer Says: It's heartaching and sweet in equal measures. The atmosphere is beautiful and suits it so well. Molly and Jester fit together so well, like the softest of puzzle pieces, if that makes sense. Their relationship feels natural and you can sense the strength of their bond in each moment. It's got some wonderful mentions of Jester's struggle with being the Happy One and Molly having lost so much time while his friends have grown as well, on top of all of the other deliciously angsty feelings the two of them are coping with.

Thank you for joining us this week's recc list! All the love to everyone who submitted a fic 🩷 All enclosed recommendations were submitted by the community via our submissions form, which you can find here. All fic information is as it was provided by the reccer, so it may not be accurate to the author’s intent or the precise contents of the fic itself. Please assume good intent from all parties 🩷

Submissions for next week’s list are already open! We’ll be featuring Pre-Relationship fics. If you have any you’d like to highlight, you can send them in here. The week after that, the theme is Canon Divergence and the week after that we're taking recommendations for rarepairs including Keyleth! Submissions for both themes are also currently open.

If you want more rarepair fic, check out @cr-summer-wildflowers and their event collections on ao3! If you want some friendship after all this romance, take a look at @critter-genfic-events and their recc lists! And if you’re interested in everyone’s favorite wizards, you can’t go wrong with the lists at @aeor-is-for-reccing !

Thanks all and have a lovely day/night/timezone! 🩷

[residenthesitant]

fic writer interview!

Snagging from @definitelynotshouting because I loooove talking about my fics lol

How many works do you have on AO3?

between my two accounts and including all my anonymous fics, i have published 115 fics since 2014. if we're only counting ones visible on the residenthesitant and hesitantresident pseuds, 58. 

What's your total AO3 word count?

Again, counting both accounts, it's 630,517 words total. On RH alone, a whopping 498,925. jesus christ. i did not think it was that much.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With the ones just on RH/HR, they are:

Look at the World So Close (And I'm Halfway To It) (DSMP) - 1,777 kudos

Like Begets Like (DSMP) - 405 kudos

END PRINCE LEARNS TO BE NICE (NOT CLICKBAIT) (OSMP) - 314 kudos

That Bitch is Back (& We're Gonna Have A Chat) (DSMP) - 258 kudos

Static (Danger Days: True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys) - 219 kudos

honestly, im kinda surprised by this one. i fully thought there'd be at least one of my anon fics in here. wild.

rest of this is under the cut!

Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to comments, but have had difficulty in the past. most often i do because i want to talk about behind the scenes stuff.

What's the happiest ending you've written?

I prefer happy/bittersweet endings,  but I think my happiest is world so close, since it basically has a fairy-tale happily ever after to it.

Do you write crossovers?

Nah. I'll do AUs, and maybe there's some crossover due to the nature of the MCYT fandom, but I largely keep characters in their own casts. It feels weird to put them elsewhere.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, but someone did delete a nice comment once, which was kinda weird lol

Do you write smut? What kind?

i did kinktober last year! if "toxic fucked up manipulative puppetduo sex" is what this means by "kind," thats generally what i do. i uh. i wrote 1/3rd of the fics in that tag. so.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not officially, but I joke that the writers of the Homestuck Epilogues stole part of one of my fics to write about how dirk felt about his own death. The fact that they read exactly the same means that I Understand the character ig.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! World So Close started a collaboration with my beloved friend Jinx but largely fell to me when they got too busy. I also have a couple Frantic Fanfic collabs and a co-written zine piece coming up.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Very hard question. I don't think I have an All Time Favorite out of all the fandoms I've been in, but if we go by fav per fandom, they'd have to be dirkjake (homestuck), a rotating selection of c!eret ships though I am extremely fond (understatement) of dreameret (dsmp), shadowgast (critical role: mighty nein), zoethian (yogscast), and a PC/PC romance from my dnd game.

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

sighs. For Every Failing Sun. it says its marked as complete because i have the rest of the plot in not!fic form, but the fact of the matter is that i dont think i'm gonna get around to completing it unless the danger days hyperfixation grabs me again.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue all the way. if i dont have a character voice right, i will simply perish

What are your writing weaknesses?

i will use the same words and phrases within two paragraphs of each other and then miss it in the edit, and i'm a fiend with an em dash. take those things away from meeeeeeeeeee

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

this one doesn't really come up for me, though i get a little annoyed when it's worked in very clunkily. dark shout out to 14 yr old me doing this with a tumblr snk fic.

What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Unofficially, Peter and the Starcatcher when i was 7, hand-written. Officially, House of Anubis on the nickelodeon message boards circa 2011.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I want to maybe write a perc’ahlia fic sometime soon? Depends on how the mood takes me? Like, I've officially now written for critical role, but perc’ahlia seems like the next step. Only took 8 years of being in the fandom for the blorbofication of Percy de rolo to happen. It's kinda funny, I've been a fan of shadowgast for so long but have never felt the need to write for them. It just hasn't felt necessary. 

What's your favorite fic you've written?

this one's easy. It almost certainly has to be bring a little rust, slow the gears, which i, coincidentally, wrote for TJ for a fic event! genuinely one of my favorite things i've ever done, i'm extremely proud of it and it has some of my favorite c!eret dynamics at the forefront. OTHERWISE, it'd have to be Le Roman de la Couronne, which is a c!punz/c!eret courtly love au, which really just means i spent 33k infodumping about medieval and elizabethan literary tradition, with blorbos on top of it.

anyone who wants to do this, say i tagged you. i love when people talk about their own shit. ok love u bye

[deramin2]

This is why I love TTRPGs.

In Critical Role Shadowgast was completely unintentional but Essek and Caleb met and were instantly attracted to each other even though they thought that was a terrible idea so we ended up with a slow burn so long that it took the next campaign to confirm it.

Even Caduceus who was written as ace from the get go and it was shown in all his interactions in the story, an actual confirmation came later on because it simply never came up naturally in conversation before that.

Or Imodna where the intension going in really was to just be super close best gal pals who were not romantic, but oops turned out they fell in love anyway.

(Critical Role now getting animated series means we finally have this kind of queer rep in mainstream streaming shows.)

Or in Shield of Tomorrow there was Lark Sage discovering her asexuality over the entire length of the show because her player Bonnie Gordon was working out her own asexuality through the story.

Or in Midst we know Mother Trauma uses he/him pronouns but absolutely nothing about his relationship to gender or how the order of The Mothers as an institution relates to gender beyond maternal titles is ever explained and is completely unimportant to the story besides just being a thing that exists. The moon fell out of the sky; there are much bigger things to focus on.

It really helps focus the story from being about queer experiences to including queer experiences as normal people with other shit going on in their lives. I think it also helps that these shows are driven by the players as writers/actors instead of studio executives deciding what they can do.

I'm going to be perfectly honest a lot of people claiming people don't like canonically queer shows like heartstopper love victor etc and favor queerbaity shows like supernatural house md etc BECAUSE of the queerbait itself are missing a core element of these shows and is that the weird gay thing people are having is very much a light accessory to the plot instead of being literally the plot itself. Queerness as a plot is tempting for like a two hour movie if I wanted to watch more than four hours of people discovering their identity while nothing else happens I'd just go live my life. What's the point if they're not even solving a murder.

[your-localfriendandboy]

I’ve been having some thoughts about my one of my favorite Beauyasha moments and how it ties into my thoughts about the beautiful way in which Yasha loves Beau.

It’s right after Yasha gives Beau the poem/letter. She’s being awkward and wondering if it was a mistake and Beau reassures her. Then Beau says “no one’s ever written me a poem before”. The way Beau says this is so vulnerable and almost sad because what she’s actually saying is “I’ve never seen myself as the kind of woman that someone would love enough to write poems for. I’ve never been worth that much to anyone” and what Yasha says in return is everything to me:

“Yeah, well they should have”

In their conversation in episode 65, Yasha thanks Beau for not judging her for her past and Beau makes her obligatory “I can’t accept affection because I’m a broken asshole who doesn’t deserve it” comment and says “have you seen me? Who am I to judge?” and Yasha says: “I’ve seen you, I’ve seen you a lot”

And finally when they have they’re date, Yasha tells Beau that she fell in love with her in Kamordah when she saw her with her family and saw the things that made her who she is.

Some love stories (like Shadowgast for instance) are stories about people encouraging their lover to be better and to become the best version of themselves. Beauyasha is a story about lovers teaching other to love themselves as they are.

When Beau says “no one’s ever written me a poem before” and Yasha says “Yeah well, they should have” what she means is “You were always worth loving, worth writing poems over”.

Yasha doesn’t just love the Beau that exists now, the confident version that has grown into her own greatness and lost some of her more assholish tendencies. She loves the broken, angry girl who was cast from her home and taken against her will. She loves the parts of Beau that Beau was told made her unlovable. Yasha tells Beau that she was always worth loving and the fact that she hasn’t been loved like this until recently is a gross injustice. Beau never had to prove herself as being worthy of Yasha because in Yasha’s eyes it’s impossible that anyone could not love Beauregard Lionett

[sun-critrole]

This is too short for Ao3, so here, enjoy. A drunken first-kiss ficlet. Shadowgast brainrot go brrrrrr

.

Essek had been staring at Caleb’s hair all night.

It caught the firelight so entrancingly. It fell in a straight curtain, but there was a slight wave to the ends - maybe because he had pulled it out of its tie and let it flow loose and alluring over his shoulders. The color of it, too, was intriguing - an even, brilliant copper, except where the firelight turned it gold.

Essek was partial to silver, himself, but leave it to Caleb Widogast to change his mind.

Caleb himself was laughing, his right hand supporting his chin and his left hand palming a heavy tankard filled with foul-smelling ale. The Mighty Nein never seemed to care much for the finer things in life, contenting themselves with cheap booze and cheap beds whenever they could find them. Essek supposed if you were used to sleeping on the ground in a bubble, then an inn with private rooms seemed like a luxury. For him, it had been an adjustment. He was used to it now, though - the sour taste of ale was almost nostalgic, and the closeness and laughter of his friends made the small rooms seem endearing.

But back to Caleb. He was now reaching over the table to ruffle Jester’s hair affectionately, his eyes fond and smiling. She let him, giggling, even though she had not had a drop of alcohol all night. Beside her, Fjord was all but snoring into his own ale.

“You better get this old lug up to bed, ja?” Caleb suggested to her. “He will not get any easier to carry if he passes out.”

“‘M not asleep,” Fjord protested, though he didn’t bring his head up to do so. “‘M resting.”

“Of course, mein Freund,” Caleb agreed, good-natured. “Do you need help getting upstairs?”

“I got him!” Jester said cheerfully. “He’s really not that bad, once you get him on his feet. C’mon, Fjord. Up you go.”

“Good night, lovebirds!” Beau called from the other end of the table. Essek was pretty sure she didn’t have a leg to stand on in the lovebirds department, since her legs were currently wrapped around Yasha’s waist.

“Ah, they will be fine,” Caleb murmured to himself, taking another drink. “Jester and Fjord, they are good together.”

“They are,” Essek agreed.

“Essek,” Caleb hummed, as if surprised to see him. “I am glad you are here. This has been a good night.”

“It has,” Essek agreed, staring at Caleb’s hair again. He wondered if it shone like that in the sun. He wondered if it would run between his fingers like water.

“I am not so sad about things, on nights like these,” Caleb mused. “Everything just. Makes more sense, I suppose. Or less sense.”

“Definitely less,” Essek replied. “I don’t remember how to cast Fortune’s Favor at the moment.”

Caleb hummed, then turned to look at him. The effect of his crystal-blue eyes peeking from behind his dark red eyelashes took Essek’s breath away. “Why would you need Fortune’s Favor right now?”

“Because I have been wanting to make a mistake all night,” Essek admitted, “And if I had Fortune’s Favor, maybe I’d have a better chance of not making it.”

Caleb shook his head, causing his hair to shift and shimmer in the low light. “People make mistakes when they’re drunk,” he explained, as if it was the wisdom of the ancients. “It is unavoidable.”

“Okay,” Essek said, shifting so he straddled the bench. Then he reached out and brushed a silky strand of Caleb’s hair carefully out of his face, tucking it behind his rounded ear.

They stared at one another, speechless. Essek did not withdraw his hand, letting it card through the length of Caleb’s hair and settle softly on the nape of his neck. He was warm, his blood rising to the surface of his skin and turning it wonderfully pink.

“Oh,” Caleb mumbled. “Is that the mistake?”

Essek considered. “I don’t know yet. Do you think I made a mistake?”

“No,” Caleb breathed, so low Essek almost missed it. “Not a mistake.”

Before Essek could register that he was moving, Caleb had already pressed his lips to the corner of Essek’s. He held there for a moment, two, then drew back just enough to meet his eyes.

“Was that a mistake?”

Essek shook his head. It made the room spin. “No,” he whispered, before pulling Caleb in by the hand on his nape to kiss him once again.

[burningdarkfire]

2022 fic rec list

i somehow fell out of the habit of reading fic halfway through the year so recent works are scant, but here are some of the highlights that have stuck with me over the year

critical role:

storyless houses by @callingvoicemail (shadowgast) - really interesting take on a less-explored part of caleb’s character. literally when i read this for the first time in march i knew that it would be one of my fave fics of the year and i was entirely correct

amongst the things left unforgiven by @nonwal (wizard ot4) - i was late to reading this but i’m so happy i saved it. it’s all about *clenches fist* wanting to live

do you have enough love in your heart, to go and get your hands dirty? by @saltytothecore (former blumendrei + shadowgast) - truly all i want in life are the wizards interacting. astrid wears second person POV so wonderfully here

like real people do by @callingvoicemail (yasha) - i have a knack for digging too deep into sol’s side storylines, but there is something about caleb and how he fits into beau and yasha’s new domestic life that really resonated with me in this fic. sometimes it’s the small details that ride with me for a long time

(unnamed snippet) by @essektheylyss (fjord) - writing like this reminds me why fjord was my favourite member of the m9 for a long, long time. he’s such a damn interesting character and this is a perfect encapsulation of one of the reasons why!

arcane/league of legends:

sanctified by @aevallare (jayvik) - we love it when the boys meet alternate universe versions of themselves and alex has an insane knack for nailing giopara and everything that makes him tick in just a sentence or the turn of a phrase

the rom-com where you kill your father by @drtechmaturgics (jayvik) - i’m cheating because i read this in 2021 but it was published in december and i’m literally still insane about it a year+ later. it deserves a second shoutout

the witcher:

the wrong way by @lurikko (geraskier) - fics that make love and desire complicated are just absolutely my shit. excellent narrative voice here that carries an interesting premise all the way through

o, empathy by @nectarine-pit (geraskier) - a great bodyswap fic. the good shit = a trope fulfilled really, really well

the locked tomb:

whatever souls are made of, yours and mine are the same (insult) by flemeth (augustine/mercymorn) - i am completely serious when i say that this fic haunts me in the most insane of ways. if i had to pick a genuine top #1 fave for the year, this would be it

twin human highway flares by @thefaustaesthetic (campal) - getting my feelings hurt while thinking about among us is exactly what i need from my tlt fic

hypnagogia by @thefaustaesthetic (campal) - again: shit that simply makes me insane. no further comments, your honour

hannibal: (no, i don’t really remember how i ended up here either)

wolf and i by @t-pock (hannigram) - listen i am digging this fic up from 2014 to tell you to read it because it has insanely good build-up and pay-off

and just for my own reference, i also dabbled in a decent number of ofmd, jjk, and the sandman fics this year

[bardly-working]

@theshipwars

I got your Shadowgast propaganda right here.

To paraphrase The Princess Bride, the story of Caleb Widogast and Essek Thelyss has it all:

magic

fighting

torture

revenge

monsters

giants

chases

escapes

betrayal

forgiveness

friends-to-lovers

enemies-to-lovers

slow burn

redemption arc

treason

forehead kisses

true love

and — despite Essek’s extreme anti-theism — even miracles.

These two genius wizards are so stupid about each other it is legitimately wild. They’re narrative foils, both on the run from the horrible actions of their past. They both have severe social anxiety and — for a good while at least — don’t know how to talk to people unless they’re being manipulative. Caleb’s self loathing knows no bounds, but in trying to forgive Essek he finds he has no choice but to forgive himself at least a little bit. Essek had never had a friend in his life, and growing attached to Caleb (and their mutual friend Jester) made him realize fo the first time the consequences of his horrible actions, and made him want to be better. They’re huge magic/fantasy science nerds. They started off flirting in order to manipulate each other but then both caught actual feelings. They fell hard and fast but are still clearly trying really hard to take it slow.

Formerly Evil Wizards On The Miserable And Exhausting Path To Redemption, my belovéds 🧡💜

THE SHIP WARS ROUND FOUR

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

This week’s theme is one of our recurring themes, Hidden Gems (Fics with less than 100 Kudos that deserve more love and attention).

For the future, specifically for our recurring themes, we will only be reccing two fics from the same author, with overflow recs going towards the next time the theme comes around. This rule does not apply to themes that will only be featured once.

Bleeding Out For You by Xhorhasian_Beacon (3853, Teen)

Warnings: None

Adeen kidnaps Caleb in an attempt to find out where Essek is. Meanwhile, Essek, Astrid, and Eadwulf are looking for Caleb and whoever took him.

Reccer says: Nice whump with a satisfying rescue

Cold Be Hand and Heart and Bone by LuckyOwlsFoot (5723, Teen)

Warnings: None

A follow up to the very delicious whump "Hang the Hourglass". Essek is having trouble adjusting after his resurrection.

Reccer says: Very soft comfort while acknowledging the traumas that occurred in the previous story.

Shapes in the Smoke by Luckyowlsfoot (2817, General)

Warnings: None

Essek dances aerial silk. Caleb is highly affected.

Reccer says: It is able to skim a little of a story in the background

Don't Save Me (I Think I'm In Hell) by Luckyowlsfoot (5882, Mature)

Warnings: implied/referenced torture

Essek is suspected for treason and questioned. it is not a good time.

Reccer says: It shows some vulnerability and the intimacy of trying to heal

Time: Every Wizard's True Enemy, Every Wizard's True Desire by Ms_Fahrenheit (2466, Teen)

Warnings: None

Caleb considers the hubris and temptations of past wizards and battles his own.

Reccer says: It shows how when so many wizards failed because they were alone, but Caleb and Essek help make each other better.

Still Sands by Luckyowlsfoot (1038, Teen)

Warnings: None

sequel to hang the hourglass. covers esseks return and fills in some gaps

Reccer says: Emotional with a hopeful ending

Thinner Than A Razor by Cers (4066, Teen)

Warnings: None

It goes through the major points of Essek and Caleb’s lives showing how similar they are.

Reccer says: I like the poetic writing style.

I fell in love with the dirty promise that you made me keep by Anonymous (5086, Teen)

Warnings: Infidelity, Illusions to stillbirth and infanticide, postpartum depression

Jester struggles after a mistaken affair and Essek helps her out.

Reccer says: While the premise was originally a turn off and most of the fic is spent with Essek and Jester, the side of Shadowgast seen in this fics is both interesting and different. Also Babygast obtained in a very different way than usual.

Chickening Out by biscuityskies (2181, Teen)

Warnings: None

Caleb accidentally polymorphs into a chicken. That's it.

Reccer says: This is a fic I smiled all the way through reading. Definitely a Crack fic but very enjoyable. Does need an Ao3 account to read.

A Moment by PenchantForPoison (1004, Teen)

Warnings: None

Essek and Caleb make out and get interrupted.

Reccer says: The dialogue is chef's kiss

Compass Point Me Anywhere Closer to You by LunaSakamoto (1203, Teen)

Warnings: None

Caleb breaks down after destroying the T-Dock. Essek is there for him.

Reccer says: Essek is trying his best in this fic and it's very sweet.

We received two recs for this fic!

Amber and Amethyst by find_me_in_the_ivy (8816, Explicit)

Warnings: No warnings

Modern with magic wizard grad school AU where Two wizards catch each other's eye across a lecture hall and wind up having sex about it

First Reccer says: I love how immediately into each other Caleb and Essek are. Soft dom Essek and Caleb being a good boy are top notch. Second Reccer says: Nothing

stolen from the night sky by royalgreen (allyoop) (1629, General)

Warnings: No archive warnings apply

Canon divergence AU with a smattering of Stardust vibes, spun into original worldbuilding that I freaking love. Essek needs living stardust to complete the most ambitious spell he has ever cast.

Reccer says: The worldbuilding, the vibes, the potentiality. Perfect little vignette that leaves you wanting more.

[Name], The Wonder Cat by Professor_Rye (10020, General)

Warnings: none

Essek gets Caleb a Moorbounder kitten. Hijinks ensue!

Reccer says: It's extremely cute and fun, a little bit of domestic shadowgast.

Three weekends in Rexxentrum by Technojuicebox (1157, Mature)

Warnings: None

fluffy shadowgast keep getting interrupted via sending my various members of the mighty nein

Reccer says: Nothing

Hold Me Steady by Luckyowlsfoot (5000, Explicit)

Warnings: pre-established kink of begging to the point of cnc and orgasm denial

Creative use of shibari! Dom!Caleb and Bratt!Essek

Reccer says: Nothing

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast.

Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week's theme is Professor Widogast, so stay tuned!

[wizardnuke]

this is a short essay response of a meta this is batshit insane. im still on my shadowgast honeypot meta. this makes no sense. i have. citations.

also i wholeheartedly believe that up until the nicodranas incident, caleb was never fully himself around essek because 1) his latent spy training alarm bells went off as soon as he met him 2) caleb is an ex-volstrucker in an "enemy country" where he knows there's an empire mole and knew that essek was hiding something. he didn't know what. i don't believe that he thought it was All That. but caleb is extremely paranoid. right are we following. meanwhile he and the rest of the m9 were getting into essek's head bc essek had thee distinct disadvantage of being 1) alone 2) very nervous all the time 3) juggling contact with the bright queen and da'leth and just like, having a Bad Time, and the m9 popped in and he realized "ohh some people don't spend their lives in social espionage hell" and proceeded to, not at first but eventually, also assume that caleb was included in that statement (dairon implied that someone, likely the empire mole, had to have given that volstrucker the shank, and it's not confirmed that essek did but like. he did. and then he got over that paranoia a little bit because caleb is a good actor) and anyway my point is. i don't think essek really saw caleb outside of that double honeypotting scheme (which was beginning to devolve into a one-sided honeypot, with caleb still on the job while essek was slipping) and half-made plans to get caleb killed, and probably the false security of working with him (and veth) to make that spell, My Point Is. essek slipped. essek fell for it. he didn't fall in love with caleb, but he liked him and saw him as a peer and a friend.

and then the first really barefaced, honest thing that caleb ever said to him was "yes, friend, what are you doing?" echoing essek's mention of having friends to da'leth, and then following that with "i would love for you to see the sunrise, so if there is a reasonable explanation, we would love to hear it" anyway the first time that essek really saw caleb as who he is- an actor stepping away from a role, a spy, a grim counterpart to jester's concern and compassion ("what are you doing?"/"do you want to sit down?"/"i hold his hand")- and someone who still despite all that wanted to think the best for essek because he had more or less up until that point fully duped the m9! caleb didn't suspect a thing, he was just being paranoid!

the. the first time that caleb dropped some of the act- he went from honeypotting him to handling a crisis, the crisis being "essek is freaking the fuck out and we don't have time for this, we are actively in peace talks and essek could blow everything up if he slips, so im going to say what he needs to hear", paraphrased from a talks machina that's probably off yt and i don't really care to look up, but he wasn't lying to him. he wasn't telling him that it was all okay, because it wasn't, but "the difference between you and i is thinner than a razor" is caleb recognizing what essek is and saying that he's barely any different, both in terms of atrocities committed (whether that's true or not is another story but my point is that caleb believes it) and in terms of the game they were playing - essek lost that game. bad. he lost it real bad.

essek sees caleb for the first time when he's been caught and the person that he thought of as a friend sits in front of him and flatly tells him "i am going to kill you unless you give me a reason not to, right now". that's caleb. that's Caleb Widogast™. that's the guy that made a deal with beau and fjord that they would keep each other on the right path. that's the caleb that wants to get rid of ikithon. that's the caleb who misses his parents. that's the caleb who has hope for astrid and wulf. he wants to have hope for essek too- "you were not born with venom in your veins, you learned it". he's not lying about having hope for essek, he's lying about how much hope he has. and he's trying, desperately, to instill some of that hope in essek. and isn't that. like. thee caleb thesis. determination, despite a lack of hope. "you and i are both damned, but we can choose to do something and leave it better than it was before".