#and every time for some reason im like 'yeah no its fine =)'
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n0vazsq · 2 days ago
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Way of the heart | OP81 x Reader
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pairing . . . oscar piastri x racing!engineer!reader
summary . . . After a tough race, Oscar has nothing to look forward to more than spending time with (Y/n)
request . . . kind of?
word count . . . 1.1k
warnings . . . none!
alexavia yaps . . . i really hate this one for some reason like its not the best i could do but i wanted to write something so yeah!! the person who wanted this (im sorry i forgot your user), if you want another story i will totally write it!! tysm for asking <3
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Oscar slumped into the chair in the back of the team garage, still in his racing suit, the helmet beside him on the floor. Today’s race had been brutal, everything going wrong until he finally crossed the finish line in a place he didn’t even want to remember. No matter how much he tried to forget it, the disappointment still clung to him.
As the crew packed up around him, you walked over, carrying a bottle of water and a quiet look of understanding. You’d worked with Oscar long enough to know when he needed a moment to think and when he needed someone to remind him he wasn’t alone. Today, he needed the latter.
“Rough day,” you said softly, offering him the bottle. He accepted it with a quick nod, cracking it open but not taking a sip.
“Understatement of the year,” he muttered, letting out a short, frustrated sigh. “Everything went wrong, didn’t it? Every call, every turn… feels like I let everyone down out there.”
You didn’t rush to disagree or to tell him it was all fine because you knew Oscar didn't want you to. Instead, you waited a bit, giving him the space to breathe.
“You know, racing’s a lot like life. Sometimes it’s out of our control, even when we do everything right. We all saw you fight today,” you said gently. “One tough race doesn’t define who you are as a driver.”
He glanced up, the frustration in his eyes softening as he met your steady gaze. “Thanks,” he said, managing a faint smile. “Not sure what I’d do without you, honestly.”
You laughed lightly, leaning against the wall beside him. “Lucky for you, I’m sticking around, win or lose.”
His smile widened a little, and after a few moments of quiet, he stood up, finally letting go of some of the weight he’d carried off the track. “Hey,” he said, glancing at his watch, “I know it’s late, but do you want to grab some food? Just… need to be somewhere that’s not here.”
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The restaurant he picked was cozy, tucked away from the noise and chaos that followed you on racing weekends. He knew you’d love it, remembering how you mentioned your love for Italian food
When you walked in, his heart skipped a beat. You wore a smile that was both warm and teasing, the one that always seemed to make everything feel a little less overwhelming.
He stood, smiling sheepishly. “Hey, you look… great,” he said, his voice a little unsteady. The nerves of the race had melted away, replaced by a different kind of nervousness that he couldn’t ignore.
You grinned, taking a seat across from him. “Thanks, Piastri. It’s nice to see you in a non-race setting for once. And I have to say, you look pretty good.”
He laughed, glancing down at his simple outfit. “I tried, y’know, for you.”
The waiter took your orders, and as the evening went on, you two spoke about anything and everything but racing. The conversation drifted easily from favorite movies to random childhood memories. You two talked about wild stories and embarassing moments, laughing at every single thing.
But Oscar’s mind kept wandering back to you. How you’d been there every step of his career, how you’d seen him at his worst and still chose to believe in him. At one point, as you were laughing at a joke he’d told, he couldn’t help but stare a little, his heart pounding in a way that felt completely different from the adrenaline of racing.
The laughter quietened down, and a comfortable silence fell between you both. Oscar looked down at his hands, trying to think of what he wanted to say. “You know,” he began, a little quieter now, “you mean a lot to me. More than just… my engineer or friend.”
You looked up, your expression softening, and he felt his courage swell just a bit. “I think I realized that today, after everything went bad on the track. Just seeing you there, not judging me, not telling me what I should’ve done differently, just… being there. It made all the difference.”
You reached across the table, placing your hand over his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’d be there no matter what, Oscar. You’re a brilliant driver and a good person. Bad race or not, that doesn’t change.”
His cheeks flushed, a warmth spreading through him. He turned his hand to hold yours, letting the silence speak for itself. And for a moment, all the disappointment and frustration faded, replaced by a quiet joy that he hadn’t expected to feel tonight.
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Later, you walked together under the night sky, the cool breeze a welcome contrast to the warm evening inside. He found himself wishing the walk could last forever, just the two of you, away from the chaos of everything.
Eventually, you both settled on a bench with a view of a beautiful fountain. The sound of the water filled the quiet spaces between you, and he reached over, slipping his hand into yours again, holding it with a confidence he hadn’t felt earlier.
“This feels perfect,” you murmured, leaning against his shoulder.
“Yeah,” he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “I wish every night could be like this.”
You let out a soft laugh, resting against him. “It’d be easier if we weren’t always at a race or in different cities every other week.”
“Maybe,” he admitted, looking out at the fountain. “But I think… I think it’s worth it.”
You turned to him, your gaze meeting his with a warmth that made his heart race. He took a deep breath, the words he’d been holding back finally finding their way out.
“Do you… maybe want to meet my family? Make it official?” he asked, his voice a little uncertain but hopeful.
You raised your eyebrows, a smirk tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Oscar, I think we’re already there. You didn’t have to ask. And of course, I'd love to meet your family.”
He chuckled, feeling a weight lift as his heart swelled with happiness. “Then consider this official.” He leaned in, taking your lips in a kiss.
The kiss made butterflies fill your stomach, it was soft, but also made you crave more. It was something magical, like straight out of a movie. Oscar had his hands on your waist, and yours tangled in his hair. It somehow made it more intimate, more personal. You didn't want it to end.
When you finally pulled back, the smile on your face was everything Oscar ever wanted to see.
Hand in hand, you walked back to the car, and for the first time that night, Oscar felt a sense of peace, knowing that no matter what happened on the track, he’d always have you there, his biggest supporter, his steady presence.
And with you by his side, he knew he could face anything that came his way.
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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okay i was gonna make a post about how migraines feel like taking constant minecraft damage except your health bar is infinite, BUT UH. @staff WHY IS MY DESKTOP DASH COMPLETELY FUCKING REARRANGED. PUT IT BACK THIS SUCKS
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fizzyghosts · 3 months ago
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Hywel is inspired by a mix of my issues with stories with nonhuman protagonist/about nonhumans becoming human AND vet posts ive seen warning people about the dangers of anthropomorphisizing animals. Its fine to joke about your pets doing things out of spite or other human emotions, it does put you at risk of not being able to read their body language correctly. Cats dont cry out of sadness, a cat crying, with actual tears streaming down its face, is a sign of a medical issue. A dog smiling isn't doing it bc its happy, it means its nervous. Not being able to spot these is bad, and sometimes even dangerous, for you and the animal.
If you never get past Hywel's human appearance and treat him like one its like getting a reactive dog, doing zero research or training, and then taking it to a dog park. If Hywel mauls someone in town then its on you.
#hywel struggles a lot with good vs bad things specifically#he makes decisions based on what makes him feel good or bad (like most people) but#if you explain something being bad to him using emotional reasons (it makes you a bad person‚ its an awful thing to do‚ its gross)#he genuinely will not get it#he'll try to stop! just bc he was told to stop! but he doesn't know how to apply it to other situations#murder for example#he's immortal death doesnt have the same meaning to him#and he doesn't particularly care about people outside of arisen#they're entertaining he finds them fun. they're critters to him#but he's not bothered by them dying#arisen dying is bad bc it means he failed his charge. he cant die. regular people dying? eh whatever#so he doesn't really get why murder is bad#if ur in vernsworth and tell him no then he'll be like i dont understand but ok!!#its only bad in vernsworth bc thats where you said no at!! everywhere else is fine !#he's not trying to find loopholes!!! he genuinely doesn't get it and is doing his best to work with what he's given!!!#his way of thinking is p straightforward and logical though#so you have to explain stuff by how it effects him and how the cons of doing it outweigh the benefits#hywel u cant murder people you dont like bc if we allowed that people would kill merchants and then you couldn't buy stuff#anyway bonus scifi au stuff while im here#hywel would remember the time loops and would do whatever it takes to keep the crew safe#but the thing is. cosmic horror hywel doesn't really understand time or how the loops are fucking people up#he knows the false dawn losing its crew was bad. he doesn't understand WHY its bad‚ but he knows it is#and he loves this crew! theyre funny and some of them are fun to chew on. enrichment.#he's gonna do whateve it takes to keep this crew safe and together. on the ship. y'know‚‚‚ bc the other ship losing its crew was bad#restarting a loop means nothing to him. yeah he's gotta start over with his friendships but thats fun! enrichment!#hes a creature time means nothing to him#beginning of the loop all his friends are here :^) he's completely unaware of how its negatively effecting people#anyway i cannot stress enough he isn't doing this to be malicious he's just doing his best#someone would absolutely realize he was doing this early on and if you tell him to stop he will#but yeah better hope you can explain why he cant do that well enough or hywels gonna unintentionally find every loophole
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lokh · 11 months ago
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testosterone can make ur gums bleed more?????????
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arolesbianism · 6 months ago
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If I was more of a fanfic writer I would totally write like 50 oni timeloop ai fics and Id have to fight myself so hard to not make Olivia a significant part of all of them. Just like yeah Quinn timeloop au. They and Olivia regular at the same bar actually. Don't worry abt it.
#rat rambles#oni posting#I know in the past Ive said that jackie timeloop hypotheticals make me go crazy but if I were to hypothetically write a timeloop au itd be#an ellie one for sure shes just enough both in and out of the action and also enough of a bad person that it'd bring me great joy writing#her flounder and fuck everything up and become even worse of a person and not even feel guilty abt it#also Id totally have it not even be a satisfying loop ending condition itd be like a survival style timeloop but its just so she can#survive long enough for the world to end and die there instead#now for a less frustrating a depressing main character bubbles would be a decent option but I actively want a frustrating pov#I <3 povs that you wanna beat the shit out of so bad for their consistent fuck ups but you cant say its poor writing because in every#situation they fuck up in it Is what they would do and its what they would do every time#like watching a train crash except you get to watch the things that doomed the crash to happen as they happen#but yeah I think ellie would loose it so fast shed start emailing jackie hampster gifs out of frustration#I just dont rly see her as the type of person who would even for a second find the prospect of a timeloop exciting#like jackie would be absolutely ecstatic at first if she got trapped in a time loop she'd be so happy#not even because of the typical reasons its fully scientific curiosity#shed get disappointed pretty quick tho and probably rly confused due to it contradicting other theories of hers#but yeah maybe there'd be a part of ellie that had some scientific curiosity but I think itd be in more of a oh god damnit way#like oh fucking hell this just had to be possible didn't it I don't want to deal with the ramifications of this bullshit#because in universe time loops would probably impossible or at least would have to look very different#so a timeloop au would come with having to accept that contradiction and roll with it#which Im totally fine with I think its funny to have these scientists deal with blatantly impossible events#I thrive when fucking with characters I love
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omgeto · 1 year ago
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☆ WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH YOUR EX — GOJO, GETO, TOJI
summary: you have sex with your ex. thats it.
cw: afab!reader, smutty smut smut so mdni. unprotected sex with all of them (since I forget that condoms exist) you sit on geto face, kinda finger fucking & mild hate fucking with toji but its fun, and gojo is just lovely.
an: i was meant to post this last night but I fell asleep writing geto's part so slay. anyways I hope you enjoy lmk what you think!! not proofread so ignore any mistakes please.
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☆ GOJO
“this doesn’t mean we’re back together y’know,” you remind gojo, panting as he thrusts into you.
“you’re really saying that with my dick deep in your cunt,” he taunts, admiring the deep arch of your back, the way your ass ripples every time his hips drive into you. “i’ve missed this.”
“f-fuck keep going,” you moan out, as his dick hits your spot – just how you like it.
“so you don’t miss me?” he pesters, and you roll your eyes, as although you couldn’t see him, you just knew he had a pout on his face. “you really don’t miss me?” he continues his thumb making way to your clit, swiftly flicking at it.
“i don’t miss you.”
gojo pulls out of you almost defiantly, pushing you down – turning you around your back. he stares at you with something you couldn’t quite place, and re enters you just as quickly. he smirks at the way your mouth gapes as his hands roughly grab at your tits, pinching and pulling on your nipples.
“s-someone’s mad,” you egg on, loving the way that his strokes become harder.
“y’know the reason i always loved fucking you this way when we were together?” he asks with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“what’s with the trip down memory lane?,” you complain, your arms come around his neck as you take him in deeper, “i called you to fuck me, not for whatever you’re tryna do here.”
“because i always got to see all the faces you make,” he continues, completely ignoring your comment, his tongue drags up the side of your jaw, before pressing a quick kiss just under your ear. “and the face your making right now, tells me, that you're lying.”
you scoff, but didn’t say anything because you knew he was right. you did miss the way he’d plough into you, the way he knew the ins and outs of your body – how to please you. “im gonna cum,” you whine out, “satoru please i need yo–”
“you can cum when you admit the truth babe,” he teases, his strokes purposefully shift speed, still keeping you writhing underneath him but just not quite enough to get you there. “just say you miss me.”
“fine,” you force out, exasperated, “i m-miss you i do.”
“see wasn’t so hard, was it?” he kisses you deeply, driving deep into you, and you cum with a cry, you did miss being this close with your ex boyfriend. gojo is quick to finish after you, filling you up with all his cum.
he eventually pulls out of you, collapsing down on the bed next to you pulling you into his hold. you, against your better judgement, relaxing into his arms – which goes against all the rules of sleeping with your ex. “this still doesn’t mean we’re back together,” you add, knowing there was very little truth to that.
“yeah, yeah, whatever you say babe,” he smirks, his lips coming down to your forehead, placing a soft kiss, “so what did you miss about me?”
☆ TOJI
“i thought you didn’t spin the block, princess,” toji asks with a shit-eating grin, as his fingers slip inside of you “what happened to, ‘once an ex always an ex huh?” 
“i’ve always hated that nickname,” you mumble, hissing at the contact of toji’s fingers toying with your pussy, “and there are some exceptions to my rule.”
“so you’re little boyfriends not hitting it right then,” toji grins, pleased at hearing that he was the ‘exception,’ “if you’re here, slutting yourself out on my fingers.” 
“no he’s hitting it greatly,” you smirk, not rising to toji’s comments since you know what he was trying to get at, “i just missed you, that's all.”
“oh so you really have a boyfriend then?” he snapped, his fingers curling up in you.
“no i don't,” a smug smile appears on your face as you see toji’s smirk drop, “but it’s cute that you care though. are you jealous, toji?”
“shut up,” he says moodily, swiftly removing his fingers out of you, pulling you onto his lap.
you straddle him, your face inches from his, “aww are you mad toji?” you taunt with a mock pout. you’ve always loved getting a rise out of toji, you know your ex boyfriend very well, the more pissed off he was, the harder he fucked.
“sit on it,” he commands, the ‘it’ in question being his hard dick that he was furiously stroking at the sight of you. there was something about you that got on toji’s nerves – hence why you didn’t last long as a couple – but that special something was good for times like this. where you could both unleash any pent up energy you have, on eachother.
you welcome his dick eagerly, practically jumping on it, the wetness of your pussy was inviting. his dick slotted in perfectly, making you both curse at the contact. “fuck, you always feel so good,” he praises, loving the feeling of you clenching around his dick whilst you ride him.
there was a forcefulness coming from the both of you, as you were fucking each other as if you had something to prove, as if there was some unspoken competition to see who could get the other to cum first.
“f-fuck,” you mutter, the feeling of toji’s dick pistoning into you becoming too much.
“whats that princess?” toji mocks, grinning seeing your eyes gloss over, he could tell that your dick-stuffed cunt was about to release all over him, “y’gonna cum for me?”
you ignore him, continuing your mission to get toji to fold first. you manoeuvre your lips to his neck, kissing and sucking on his exposed flesh, and he takes a sharp inhale – bingo. you knew toji’s body as well as he knew yours, and he was always was weak for the way you’d nibble and bite on his neck as he fucked you dumb.
“are you gonna cum for me?” you mock mirroring his question, his strokes was getting sloppier, you could tell he was close. but you were not far behind, squirming in his lap about to reach your climax.there were no words that needed to be spoken as you and toji both cum together, your cunt too overloaded with both of your cum, making it drip out all over his dick.
“we should do this again sometime princess,” toji suggests, as you eventually hop off his dick and start putting back on your clothes, “you always know to fuck me right.”
“i’ll think about it,” you conclude, knowing that you’ll probably be back in less than a week, “and stop calling me that fucking nick name,” you say as you leave the room, the only response you hear being toji’s howling laughter.
☆ GETO
if there was one thing that you couldn’t deny your ex boyfriend had, it was his head skills. everytime without fail, he could have you sprawled out on any surface as his tongue laps your pussy. 
“s-shit, you’ve always been way too good at this,” 
“only, to please you,” he hums, pressing a soft kiss to your thigh, before going back to sucking on your clit. your hands knot his hair, pulling and tugging as he works on your folds. he loves it when you play in his hair, showing that he’s getting what he’s aiming for – giving you pleasure. 
your moans only encourage him to toy with your pussy harder, nipping and biting as your thighs clench around his head. he’s been at this for ages, tonguing your cunt for as long as possible, as if to see how long he’d be able to go. 
“sugu ‘m gonna cum,” you cry, pressure building up inside of you, “please let me cum.”
but he doesn't. ignoring your request completely, geto removes his mouth off of you. his lips were practically shining, coated in all the juices from your pussy.  “you know there was one thing we never got to do when we were together,” he starts to say, eyeing with a mischievous smile,
“which is…” you prompt, slightly upset at the lack of stimulation you were getting at your, now throbbing, pussy.
“you never sat on my face,” he utters just above a whisper, licking his lips at the thought of it. 
“but what if I—“
“don’t worry about any of that,” he murmurs, pushing himself further back on the bed, his eyes still focused on you, “come sit.”
you slowly work your way up his body, the mischief in his eyes making you feel excited. you pause, straddling his chest, your hands rest on his shoulders, “are you sure about this?”
“girl if you don’t–” he starts to say, but the rest of his sentence is muffled as he pulls you onto his face, his mouth enveloping your pussy. your hands immediately grip onto the headboard in front of you, as his tongue gives long strokes to your wet pussy, lapping up all the juices spilling from you. 
you were riding his face, your hips moving back and forth against his mouth with his head sandwiched between your thighs. “f-fuck sugu, it’s too much,” you moan out, throwing your head back. 
he grins in response, his hands gripping your ass pushing you onto his mouth deeper. he couldn’t get enough of you, the way you taste, the sweet scent of your pussy that he practically inhales, burying his nose in it.
“s-shit,” you curse, as your cunt explodes onto your ex’s face. you pause, catching your breath, still feeling the pleasurable high he just gave you. he still had his mouth on your pussy, eating up all the cum that was dripping out of you.
“hey suguru, wanna go and–” you turn to see gojo burst into the room, “oh shit, yn? are you two back together?” you scramble off of geto’s face, giving gojo the hardest glare for interrupting. 
“satoru, can’t you see that im busy,” geto chuckles, his mouth still covered with your cum, “im eating here.”
“right…” gojo nods, “i’ll leave you two too it,” but just before he leaves the room you here him yell, “im gonna tell everyone you’re back together.” you both chuckle at your friends antics, and geto pulls you back into him.
“get back on,” he smirks, “who said i was done?”
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AN: so there we go. I love geto's part so much but maybe im biased idk. but yeahhh hope you enjoy the thoughts that I had at like 7 am. DIVIDERS BY @/CAFEKITSUNE
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6kuna · 3 months ago
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Dilf! Sukuna would be one of those guys that defend women in danger+ would also be so bad at rizzing girls up that he just sounds desperate and pathetic[endearing]
“You’re the new teacher? I didn’t know they hired young girls these days. I wouldn’t even be surprised if you’d be the reason my son is getting his abc’s” he says as he looks at you up and down savoring every curve and line of your
You gave the parent a benefit of the doubt and took whatever he said as a compliment all while returning his “compliment” with an awkward chuckle.
“Thank you…”
“Say…if you come by my house and give some private lessons for him I’m more than capable to pay you more than the school does” he says smirking hiding the perversed meaning behind his shit request.
It’s the first time some weird parent tries to pull this type of behaviour on you the whole interaction leaves you in shock as you smile awkwardly trying to find the right words to respond and the patience to not punch him in the face. Your heart beats rapidly with your fists turning clammy and white from anxiety of not knowing what or how to respond to the fool of a parent.
“MISS Y/N I MISSED YOUUUUU” a familiar pink haired kid comes running as he gives you a hug. Shocked was an understatement by you were more than grateful for Yuuji to intervene.
“you know me and your teacher were having a conversation don’t your parents tell you that it’s rude to interrupt adults” The random parent says giving Yuuji a fake smile.
“Yeah? I’m the parent.” Sukuna says curtly with the most unamused expression known to man.
The male turns around to take a look at whoever the parent of the funky insolent child only to be greeted by a 6’5 fully tatted male who looked like he was more than capable to break his bones with just a simple flick. It also didn’t help the fact that Sukuna’s aura(lol) was more than threatening enough on its own without having to say a single word.
“I guess kids these days don’t learn enough manners I’ll take my leave for now” the inferior male says gulping as he puts up a front before scrunching up his face as he walks away.
Sukuna glares daggers at the stupid fool making sure he leaves the vicinity.
A huge breath of relief was let out as you kneeled down onto Yuuji’s height thanking him and his scarily hot dad for saving you from whatever the situation was.
“You guys have no idea how thankful i am, Yuuji you and your dad literally saved me”
“WE KNOWWWW, Hiro’s dad is a bit creepy” Yuuji says happily as he brings out a couple of souvenirs from his summer trip with his family to you before running into the building excitedly leaving you and his dad alone.
“Did he ask you if you for private lessons?” Sukuna asks with a smug smile
“Yes- what how did you know?!”
“He’s a douche and a weirdo he says that to every new teacher even the volunteers. I hope you’re okay after that interaction” Sukuna scoffs annoyed at the male’s behaviour. Knowing that Sukuna at his prime would’ve beaten the hell out of the weirdo for making women uncomfortable.
“I’m fine honestly I wish I could return the favour i don’t even know what i would’ve done if you and Yuuji didn’t come by” you say in a appreciative tone
Sukuna upon hearing this immediately takes the opportunity to ask you on something that has been on the back of his mind from the moment he laid eyes on you.
“You can return the favour by coming by my place for dinner I’ll cook, I can even pick you up just let me know when you’re free” he says in the spur of the moment not noticing he sounds like a desperate, desperate man.
You were so shocked at Sukuna’s abrupt response to the point you could literally feel the heat rising onto your cheeks making you smile sheepishly before bursting out in laughter.
“I didn’t think you would ask me that, but im free anytime on Saturday is it fine with you?”
“Saturday? Perfect” he says grinning as he sees you walking away he came to his senses realising he forgot to ask for your number
“You didn’t give me your number” he says from afar
It was your turn to leave him into the flustering mess. You smirked looking back at the giant of a male waiting for your response.
“I have yours don’t worry i’ll text you later” you say playfully.
It was true you do have his number. You’ve saved it from the moment he sent Yuuji on the first day.
Sukuna was lucky enough he didn’t have whatever his dad had cause frankly Sukuna would’ve probably gone into cardiac arrest with that statement alone. With that it is settled Yuuji will be sent off to Toji’s house for a sleepover while his dad gets straight to business.
Edit:not proofread was done when im literally ten secons awya from asleep i appoliguse for shit writing
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froggibus · 4 months ago
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hiiiii :3 idk if ur taking reqs for dc right neow but a thought that tickles my brain rlly good is dick grayson/reader w a praise kink and dick exploits it n uses it to his advantage.... preferably afab reader but gn is fine :P
CTRL + H - Dick Grayson
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Pairing: Dick Grayson x fem! best friend! reader (uses fem pronouns + has a pussy)
Genre: smut/NSFW
Word Count: 4.1k
Summary: when your best friend discovers porn in your browser history while fixing your computer, he decides to use it to his advantage
CW: friends to lovers, lots of praise, uses of ‘good/pretty/lovely girl’ dick calls you sweetheart/angel, dick is CORNY I’m sorry, mentions of porn/asmr porn, teasing, gaslighting (but not really), fingering, marking, unprotected sex, lots of sweat (its sexy i swear), dick fucks you over a desk, kinda rough sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, implied to be summer, i think thats it??
hey hi 👽 anon, thanks for the request! im sorry it took so long, it wasn't meant to be this long i swear, i just got caught up in the thought of Dick being all hot and sweaty and praising you while fucking you >~< and yeah this happened. really hope you like it (but if you don't, let me know and ill totally rewrite it!) lots of love yes i took an extra 30 mins to find nightwing #83 to take a picture of the comic book to make this banner lol
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As if having Dick Grayson look at your search history wasn’t bad enough, now you have to live with the mortifying ordeal of him knowing you have a praise kink.  
When you had first invited him over to take a look at your malfunctioning computer, you’d thought nothing of it. You figured he would turn it on and off again, maybe update some drivers. So when he suddenly clicked into your browser and began scrolling through the long, long list of websites you’ve visited, you weren’t sure how to react. 
You noticed it at the same time as him, the glowing screen forcing you to freeze where you stand. There on the screen, from just last night, read: praise nsfw asmr. You swallow hard and lunge for the mouse to click out of your browser history, but breathe a sigh of relief when Dick does it first. 
There’s a beat of silence, your racing thoughts deafeningly loud as you try to come up with a reason to kick him out. Fanning your face as if that will help chase away the heat of the day, you swallow once more in an attempt to work some moisture back into your mouth. 
“F—find anything?” You say as casually as you can. 
It’s ridiculous how embarrassed you are, honestly. He’s just your friend, it’s just porn, it’s not like it’s the end of the world. Still, the rattling of your heart against your rib cage and his cruelly quiet silence make it feel like it is. 
He shakes his head. “Not so far, I should keep looking but—“ he flicks his eyes up your body, perfect blues tracing your every curve, “you seemed flustered.”
You raise your hands in denial all too quickly, your sweaty palms stretched out towards him. Dick raises an eyebrow, examining you in the way he does with strangers in coffee shops. 
“I just…don’t see how my search history is relevant, I guess. That’s all.”
He grabs your wrists, lowering your arms from the defensive position they’ve taken. Despite the familiarity of his touch, something feels off, different in a way you can’t explain. You shake the thought away. 
The world has not shifted on its axis because your best friend suddenly knows what kind of porn you’re into. 
His touch lingers on your wrist and he uses the leverage to gently pull you closer to where he sits at your desk. When he finally drops your wrist, a chill circles the space where his hand once was, refreshing your feverish skin.
“I just want to make sure you haven’t accidentally picked up a virus somewhere. If we can find one in your history, it’ll be much easier to get rid of it.”
The explanation only half seeps into the mush your brain has turned into under his gaze and you find yourself nodding without quite understanding. 
You were fooling yourself by inviting him here. While asking for his help was cheaper than hiring a professional, having him so close to you almost hurts—especially when lately you’ve been trying to force away the feelings you’ve harboured for him. 
“So,” Dick says again, “won’t you be a good girl and let me fix your computer for you?”
His words force you out of your thoughts, purely by short circuiting your brain. You blink at him with wide eyes, your heart pounding in your chest. 
“W—what did you say?”
“I just asked if I could fix your computer now.” 
You tilt your head in confusion. Did you mishear him, or did he call you ‘good girl’? He flashes you that signature smirk of his, his blue eyes suddenly dark with something you don’t recognize. 
Though everything on his face reads innocent, something not-so innocent lurks beneath the surface. Something that stares you down and screams ‘challenge me’. 
“Yeah.” You swallow. “I guess that’s fine.” You take a deep breath and try to steady the spinning in your head. 
Dick continues his work nonchalantly, hitting a few keys and opening your browser history once more. You turn your eyes away from the screen, instead focusing on the way your fingers grasp the desk until it hurts. 
You listen to him scroll for a while and try to pretend like he’s not looking through the most intimate part of your life. The idea of him seeing that part of you excites you as much as it nauseates you—a lethal combination. 
“You can relax.” Dick hums. 
You lift your head to look at him just to see him focused completely on the screen. You don’t dare glance at what he’s so focused on. 
“Why not sit down? This could take a while.” He says calmly. “I’m sure you’ll feel much better if you do.” 
You roll your shoulders. “I think I’ll just stand.”
There’s a shift in his eyes as if your words sparked something in them. He finally glances away from your screen, completely focusing on you with a newfound intensity. You want to shrink from his gaze, to run down the hall and hide in your broom closet, but you stay rooted in place. 
“It would help me a lot if you sit down. Don’t you want to be a good girl and help me out?” 
Holy fuck. “What did you just say?”
It feels like you’re waiting an eternity for him to speak again, your heart beating a mile a minute. He’s going to deny it, or make fun of you even more or worse—tell Wally about it. 
He pats his lap. “Come sit with me,” he purrs, “be a good girl, keep me company while I work.”
In your shock, you find yourself shuffling towards him and settling in his lap. Dick helps you adjust, tugging you back to his chest and keeping one arm around you while his other reaches for the mouse once more. 
He’s so close to you that you can feel the beating of his heart, his breath on your neck. You close your eyes and pray that he can’t feel the heartbeat that’s suddenly appeared between your legs.
You can’t remember a single time he’s been this close to you, a single time he’s touched you like this. The sudden proximity makes you dizzy, butterflies taking flight in your tummy. You clench the arm rests on either side in an attempt to keep your cool.
Dick shifts behind you, one of his thighs gently brushing your clit in a way that makes you squirm. “Don’t do that!” 
His hand slides from your waist to grip your thigh, a shiver running up your spine at the contact. “Don't do what? This?” He repeats the motion.
You squeak, lurching forward in an attempt to get away from the friction. You tilt too far and suddenly you’re falling head over heels towards the mat beneath your chair. Dick is quicker than that, wrapping one arm around your chest and another around your waist to tug you harshly back to him.
“Don’t do that,” you repeat breathlessly, “please.”
He rests his chin on your shoulder, soft strands of black hair tickling your cheek. “Why not? Use your words, angel.”
The nickname reignites something inside of you, rekindling a fire between your legs. You clench them together in the hopes it will do something to muffle the throbbing, but when you feel Dick smirk against the side of your neck, you know you’ve failed.
When you don’t answer him, he grins his knee between your legs once more, an innocent hum prompting you.
“You’re—fuck, you’re kneeing me in the cunt.”
Dick’s not sure if it’s from your brazen words or how entirely ridiculous this whole afternoon has been, but suddenly he’s laughing. A big, open mouthed, creasing at the corners of his eyes, laugh. 
His laugh surprises you enough to summon one of your own, sending you both into a fit. You shift on his lap to look at him, wrapping your arms around his neck to support yourself while the two of you laugh. It’s stupid and ridiculous and you’re not quite sure what you’re laughing at—just that you are. 
You’re laughing and laughing and suddenly his lips are on yours and his eyes are closed and—fuck, he’s kissing you. And then you’re not laughing anymore, your hands brushing up his neck and tangling in his hair. He’s not laughing anymore either, his hands gripping your waist like he expects you to leave at any moment.
You’re breathless when you pull away, refusing to open your eyes and face the reality in front of you. Because maybe the world didn’t shift on its axis when he learned your porn preferences, but it definitely has because he just kissed you.
He taps your cheek gently, using that terribly calm voice he does whenever you start spiralling. “Y/n.” He coos, “open your eyes, y/n.”
You bite your lip, shaking your head in refusal. You know as soon as you do, you’ll have to confront your feelings for him, and his for you, and all of that is just too much and god, when did it get so hot in here? 
You open your eyes one at a time, casting them down to where your thighs rest on his. Your hands come together, fingers twirling in your lap just to give you something to focus on other than the throbbing in your clit and the weight of Dick’s eyes on you.
He drags a finger down your overheating cheeks, tracing the outline of your jaw and tipping your head up to face him. His blue eyes are lined with something new, something darker—a need you’ve never seen before. 
“Look at me.” There’s a commanding tone to his voice before it softens, “c’mon, please?”
You finally force yourself to meet his eyes, the familiar ultramarine calming the sudden bite of your nerves. “Only cause you asked so nicely,” you say quietly. 
“Good girl,” he smiles and it feels like the sun pushing through rain clouds. He strokes your cheek gently, his thumb landing on your cupid's bow. 
You shiver beneath his touch despite the unbearable heat of the day. While his finger on your lips threatens to send you flying away, spiralling into space, his other does the opposite. His grip on your hip is tight, fingers digging in and sure to leave behind bruises. 
“Can I kiss you again?” He asks quietly. 
It’s only a small mercy that your nod doesn’t prompt another ‘good girl’ from him, or some other horribly delightful variation of it. However, when his lips brush yours and his hand slides to the base of your throat, all of the thoughts melt away. There’s no embarrassment, no overthinking, just raw emotion and the sensation of his skin on yours. 
You shift in his lap, sliding one of your thighs over his so you can straddle him. Dick offers a guiding hand while you slide forward, half steadying you, half tugging you closer. You shimmy up the length of his jeans until you’re as close as possible, your stomach pressing into his toned abs. 
A gasp leaves your throat when your clit brushes the very edge of the bulge in his jeans, the noise only edging him along. His teeth graze your bottom lip, both gentle and desperate, before his tongue slips into your mouth. 
The taste of him is intoxicating, consuming you until you’re grabbing his cheeks with both hands to pull him as close as possible. You whine when his cock grazes your clit again and Dick breaks the kiss to let out a breathy laugh against your lips. 
“Someone’s needy,” he teases, but his eyes are rimmed with dark and when he looks at you through his lashes, all you see is need. 
“Back at you.”
His palm sticks to your cheek with sweat when he goes to pull it away. “You’ve been so good for me today,” he hums, his other hand trailing up your thigh. “Let me take care of you, yeah?”
You mumble a breathy ‘please’ before his fingers are brushing your clit through your pants, the heat pooling in your panties near insatiable. You tighten your grip on him and bury your face in the tight black fabric of his t-shirt to muffle your heavy breathing.
While one hand rubs intense figure eights up the length of your pussy, his other hand is fiddling with the buttons of your pants. He sighs in triumph at the soft popping noise and then the fabric is pulling away from your skin, Dick somehow managing to tug them down with only one hand. 
You shift in his lap and prop yourself up on your knees to give him better access while he drags the fabric down your thighs. He takes advantage of your position to spin you to face your monitor once more, leaning back in the chair so you’re reclined against his muscled chest.
Warm breath fans the overheating skin of your neck just where your shirt meets your skin. Two calloused fingers dip into the waistband of your underwear, skimming the warmth and slick of your cunt. Dick sucks in a breath, his pants suddenly too tight.
“You really are needy,” he swallows hard. “Lovely, needy girl.”
His words only serve as a catalyst to the intense need you feel in your core, amplifying your desire tenfold. The pad of his index finger brushes your clit and you’re suddenly a goner. Your eyes squeeze shut and you throw your head back, imagining the circles of Dick’s fingers in your mind.
He gently kisses at the neckline of your shirt, his lips soft against the sensitive skin. His tongue runs across the sensitive skin there in tandem with the moving of his hand, the duality sending shockwaves through you. You have to bite your lip to keep from crying out his name.
His wrist slides further into your underwear, fingers moving away from your swollen clit to run along the rim of your aching pussy. You suck in a breath, not moving an inch while you anticipate what’s to come.
Dick sucks a dark mark into your neck. “Ready f’me?” He mumbles into your skin.
You eagerly nod, trying to shift your hips into his fingers and shove them inside of you, but Dick moves away. You frown, lazily looking over your shoulder at him.
“You have to use your words.”
You almost roll your eyes but in your desperation, let your head hang in defeat and open your trembling mouth. “I-I’m ready Dick,” you say, quietly adding, “please.”
“Good girl.” 
Then he’s suddenly slipping a finger inside of you, travelling the length of your spongy walls to sit deep inside of you. A gasp rips through you, his name tumbling off your lips faster than you can catch it. He grips your hip to steady you, strong fingers bruising the exposed skin.
He curls his finger inside of you, prodding at that sweet fucking sensitive spot. He only stops when you whine, slipping his finger out for only a second before shoving it back in. He repeats the motion, starting a rhythm of thrusting in and out, his hand on your hip tapping along in tandem.
You squirm in his lap, that ball in the centre of your stomach turning white hot and growing until you can barely contain it. One of your hands squeezes his wrist—whether to stop or encourage him, you don’t know.
“Dick,” you whine, your voice taking on a raspy tone you hardly recognize.
He hums in response. “Does that feel good?”
“S-so good.”
He rewards you by slipping his other finger inside of you, the two of them working in unison. His fingers are so long and thick that they reach places inside you that you’ve never been able to touch on your own, stretching your walls just enough to make your eyes roll back.
The impending waves of your orgasm roll over you, that knot in your core so tight that you know it's bound to undo any second. You squeeze his wrist tighter in warning, your fingers pressing into his veins until you can feel the steady thrum of his blood pulsing. 
Dick slips his hand from your waist up your shirt, palming your tit. “Cum for me,” he murmurs. “You’ve earned it, sweetheart.”
His words walk you right over the edge, that knot finally coming undone and sending wave after wave of molten pleasure through you. Every muscle in your body contracts, your pussy squeezing his fingers so tightly it almost hurts. Both your hands clench around the wrist currently in your underwear. Holding him steady while you ride out your high on his fingers.
Dick holds you, keeping you stable while you gush and thrash wildly in his lap. He can feel your slick soak through the fabric of his jeans, his thighs warm with your juices, but he can’t bring himself to care. 
He trails kisses up your neck to your jaw, your cheeks and finally, tips your head back until he can plant soft, chaste kisses to your lips. His wrist aches from how hard you squeeze him but he doesn’t dare pull away until your muscles are relaxing and you let out your first, panting breath.
“Feel good?” He prompts.
You shake your head vigorously, all sweaty hair and hot skin and aching lungs. Dick almost wishes he had a camera because the sight of you laying in his lap all fucked out is one he would love to savor and put in his wallet.
He shifts behind you, only now remembering his aching cock and how badly it yearns to be free of the denim confining it. “Think you could do one more? For me? It would make me feel so, so good, sweetheart.”
You don’t think twice about his words, lazily trapping his lips in a sloppy needy kiss and mumbling ‘yes’ against him. In your fucked out state, you’re only half sure that you’re even speaking, the world around you fading. Dick slips his hand out of your panties, his palm soaked with your juices, and rests it on your thigh. 
“I need you to stand up for me,” he says, only half asking. 
He helps you up on shaky knees, your pants that had been resting just above your knees dropping the rest of the way to the floor. You brace yourself against the desk, half bent over while Dick slowly tugs down your panties. The minute the sticky, soaked fabric peels away from your pussy, you gasp.
Dick stares at the mess he’s made of you proudly, your folds glistening with the slick of your last orgasm. He burns the image into his mind while he fumbles with the zipper of his jeans, standing behind you while he drags them to the floor with his boxers. His cock springs free, thick and dripping with pre cum, begging for you.
He strokes it absentmindedly, all of his thoughts only on you and your trembling thighs, bent so perfectly over the desk waiting for him. He lines the head of his cock up with your entrance, rubbing it through your folds and prodding your clit before repeating the process over again.
Each shift of his cock, each rock of his hips, forces shivers of anticipation down your spine. Heavy breaths leave your lips, your arms barely managing to hold your weight over the desk when you dip your head down to stare at him through the crook of your arm.
“Such a pretty pussy. So wet and needy,” he groans when he finally lets his cock rest at your entrance. “So ready for my cock.”
You nod even though he’s mostly talking to himself. You let your arms sag against the desk and rest your face against your forearm, the sweaty skin sticking to your forehead. Dick thrusts forwards and lets the head of his cock push inside of you.
Moans leave him the second he dips into your heat, the tip of his cock stretching you in a way that has both of your eyes rolling back. His fingers resume their earlier position on your hip, digging in so hard it almost hurts. 
He stills once his tip is nestled in your walls, listening to the whiny breaths you let out while you adjust to his size. Your clench your hands into fists, slightly shifting from left to right to help him fit better. He’s big, bigger than you expected, but the way he molds your walls to his cock is almost enough to have you cum right then and there.
Dick is so distracted by the sight of his cock dipped inside of you that he doesn’t remember to move. It’s only when you let out a needy whine and shuffle your hips backwards that he realizes you’ve been waiting so patiently for him.
He snaps his hips against yours, the head of his cock barreling so deep inside of you so quickly that it almost hurts. “Sorry, pretty girl,” he pants, “didn’t mean to make you wait.”
You try to tell him that it’s okay but you’re silenced with another hard thrust. You cry out his name into your arm, your teeth grazing at your skin in your attempt to be quiet. Dick grabs the other side of your waist, using his hands to push and pull you as he pleases.
You fall further against the desk, your body lazily resting against it while Dick’s hips snap into yours repeatedly. The room is filled with the sound of skin on skin, a chorus of your combined moans filling the empty space between thrusts. Each shift of his hips, each prod of his cock, only spurs you further along.
You squeeze your eyes shut, completely focused on his cock battering its way through your walls. You’re only vaguely aware of Dick talking to you, his praise sounding incoherent beneath the rush of blood to your ears. Your pussy flutters around him, his cock scraping your cervix with every thrust.
He thrusts particularly hard into you, his cock jamming hard into the very edge of your walls, forcing a loud cry from you. It aches as much as it pleases, and without thinking, you’re suddenly crawling forward across your desk. Dick tightens his grip on you before you can get very far, tugging you back hard against him and slamming your pussy down on his cock.
You nearly squeal from the pleasure, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. That familiar heat builds inside of you once more, spilling over more and more with each intense thrust.
“You’re taking me so well,” he coos. “So tight—god, it’s like your pussy was made for me. Fuck.”
His lewd words add to that growing knot inside of you and suddenly you’re coming undone in his arms. Everything is too hot, too much, too loud. Tears spill from your eyes and you’re barely aware of the half sobs, half moans you let out through your orgasm.
“That’s right, let it all out. Good girl, cumming around my cock like that.”
Dick holds you steady the whole time you cum, thrusts growing sloppy as your pussy sucks him in and tries to keep him inside of you forever. He’s almost as breathless as you while he watches you cum and the way your pussy seizes around him is enough to have him tumbling over the edge after you.
He wraps both arms around your waist, pulling your hips flush to his, before he lets the both of you fall back into the chair behind him. Your new position forces his cock deeper inside of you—as deep as it can go—and then he’s cumming inside of you.
You can barely feel the hot ropes of cum he spills inside of you while you come down from your own high. Your thighs shake where they rest over his and you’re grateful for him holding you. 
Dick lets his forehead rest in the crook of your neck, his sweaty hair wetting your t-shirt. Even after he’s done cumming, he holds you tightly against him, the two of you panting in sync.
It’s nearly five minutes later when you can finally bring yourself to speak, your hoarse voice evidence of the pounding you’ve just taken. “I take it you saw my browsing history?” are the first words out of your mouth.
Dick laughs, his voice gravelly and deep and sexy. “Yeah,” he says, kissing your cheek. “I did.”
You awkwardly turn in his lap, twitching at the way it adjusts his half-hard cock inside of you. You look up at his eyes, the blue finally starting to seep back in through the dark. He cups your face, his hand sweaty, and pulls you in for another kiss.
When you pull away, you can’t help but ask, “so, what now?”
“First, I think I should show you how to use Incognito Mode.”
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masterlist | dc masterlist
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sukiipjs · 10 months ago
Text
❧ ONLY YOU
°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•
↳ chris sturniolo x fem reader
↳ words - 1629
↳ summary - chris sees you with another guy at a party, he has to remind you that your his. only his. (this is freaky)
↳ contains - friends with benifits, smut, lowkey toxic 💀, rough sex, oral, gagging, hair pulling, swearing, spanking, mascohism, drinking, praise, degrading, pet names (baby), idk
↳ song - lights down low by maejor
°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•
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°:. *₊ ° . ☆
me and chris have a.. complicated relationship. he’s really hot, like really, but honestly he’s such an asshole. everything he does drives me up a fucking wall. all we do is fuck, have been for a while and its great but nothing more, and even though we are nothing more, everytime he sees me with another guy or thinks i’m with another guy, he gets pissed. but when he’s with another girl who cares? that hypocrite. every time i call him out he rolls his eyes and uses his famous line, ‘they don’t fuck me as good as you baby’
anyways. i’m getting ready for this party, i’ve been trying to ignore and forget chris, so why not go to some dumb partys? i get on a tight mini dress, it’s black and silky with thin straps, deep v neck and a cute bow on the back to match my new nails i got a few days ago, black french tips with some rhinestones. black eyeshadow and mascara, some of my favorite lipgloss, smells like strawberry and has glitter in it, almost half out of it already. i leave my hair down and i put on my black heels and finally i grab my small black purse with my lipgloss, my phone, and a condom that will hopefully be used!
i make my way to the party and when i walk into it, i already regret it. i go straight to where all the drinks are and pour some. i lean on the counter staying by the table of drinks and trying not to look too bored.
i look around seeing if anyone i know is here so i can actually talk to someone. as im looking and drinking some random dude comes up beside me, leaning on the counter next to me with a drink in his hand too. “hey” he nudges my shoulder a little, “uh hey?” he continues to talk to me and annoying me, eventually he says i’m ‘boring’ and goes to some other girl.
over time a maybe two other guys come up to me, annoying but one i’m still talking with, he’s actually kinda interesting, and cute. we talk a lot and laugh but then i feel two arms wrap around my waist, making me almost spill my drink. “the fuck?” i turn my head to see who and it’s chris, i see his eyes stare at the guy i’m talking to as he holds me. i roll my eyes as he speaks to the guy, what is wrong with him. “yeah i’m her boyfriend, so.” wait… im his WHAT? the guy looks a little uncomfortable then looks at me before walking off.
i back off from his arms and face toward him, “what the fuck is wrong with you? ‘i’m her boyfriend’ since when?” he laughs a little then takes a sip of his drink, “okay maybe i’m not but i don’t want him talking to you,” i roll my eyes and scoff, “why? every single time you see me with a guy, you make him leave but when your with a girl it’s all fine? we’re fucking! that’s all, so just shut up. i haven’t called you in a while for a reason,”
i see his eyes narrow as he sets his drink down and grabs my arm, “shut up and come with me,” i try to move my arm away from his grip but he pulls me toward some room, i set down my drink as we walk.
he pulls me into a bathroom and shuts the door, pushing me against the door after, “the fuck is wrong with you,” he holds me onto the door, staring at my eyes, “me? the fuck is wrong with you. you’re such an asshole!” one of his hands go to the back of my head, he pulls my hair making my head lean up to look at him better. he moves his head closer to mine, lips inches apart.
“i don’t remember you saying that shit when i was fucking you all those time, when you begged me to come over? yeah? begging me to keep going, fucking slut.” he spits back, “god chris. fuck off!” i try to put my arms on his chest to push him away, “just leave me alone.” i hear him laugh a little as he pushes down on my head, trying to get me on my knees. “just get on those knees and be fucking good? yeah?”
he manages to get me down, me kneeling in front of him as he still grips on my hair and the other to his pants as he pulls down his pants and boxers, my hands trying to push him away on his thighs, “all you do is talk, talk, talk, maybe you should put that mouth to good use,”
his dick springs out and hits my face as he pulls my head closer and the other hand holding his dick, guiding it on my lips as i seal them shut, or trying to. “cmon baby, open up,”
he pushes his dick more and more onto my lips, and finally i open my mouth and he pushes it inside, the tip hitting the back of my throat. “oh fuck baby,” he put his other hand on my head, both holding me down, pushing his dick all the way in. my hands on his legs trying to push away as i start gagging, spit dripping out of my mouth.
he bucks his hips into me more as i try to push myself away but i just hit my head on the door. tears start forming in my eyes as i try to catch my breath, but can’t with my mouth full. he finally pulls out my mouth, stroking his dick and finishing over my face as i close my eyes, panting. “aww, so pretty” he laughs as he kneels down a little, giving my cheek small pats then he grabs my jaw, making my head turn to him. “get up baby, you got this,”
i slowly get myself standing, still panting as he moves me to the counter of the sink and takes off my dress, a huge mirror on the wall. he’s behind me as he grabs my hair, pulling my head up, “look at yourself,” he smacks my ass with his other hand, i jump a little, opening my eyes as i see myself, “look at that slut,” my mascara and tears run down my cheeks, my hair frizzy and messed up, and his come across my face. i lift up my arm to wipe off some of the mess as he laughs, “mm, aren’t you so pretty?”
his hand moves to the front of me, reaching for my clit as he starts to circle it with his finger, my arms on the counter as my head drops and i start to whimper, “fuck! chris…” he moves faster as his length pokes against me. his mouth moving to my neck as he starts kissing and marking my neck.
he lifts his head to my ear as he whispers, “cmon, you’re mine right? only mine?” i try to nod my head as i moan, his breath on my neck. “no, say it. i need to hear it baby,” he moves my hair out of the way of my neck, to the other side, “i’m.. fuck.. i’m yours chris. only yours. only you, please..”
i feel his smirk grow on my neck as he goes back to kissing me, “good girl” my knees buckle as i start to feel even weaker, about to finish but suddenly he stops and i go back to panting and catching my breath as my moans stop.
“chris-“ he cuts me off, “oh don’t worry baby,” he quickly pushes his dick inside me, making my breath cut off, “fuck!” he pulls on my waist, making my elbows lay on the counter and making my back arch even more than it was.
one hand on my waist, guiding his deep thrusts and one on my head, pulling my hair again, making my head lean up, “watch me fuck you before i stop.” i force my eyes to open as i see him behind me thrusting, i mindlessly moan and whine as he fucks me good, forcing my eyes to not close, and staring at the mirror.
“chrisssss…” i moan as i start getting close again, his thrusts become deeper and faster, knowing that i’m close. “cmon baby, let it go” i can’t help but drop my head again, shutting my eyes as i finish over his dick. he keeps thrusting until he comes too, “oh fuck.”
he pulls out and gives me another smack on my ass, “such a good girl baby,” he speaks as he’s talking to a dog. i stand a bit straighter, my legs weak and shaking as i pant more and more, my eyes closing to rest. his hands come up to my shoulders, giving me a small massage.
“your mine right?” i nod as i try to open my mouth to speak but it takes a minute, “y-yes.. only you chris,” i pant. he takes his hand off me and starts getting clothed and putting my panties in his pocket as i’m still leaning on the counter still.
“cmon baby, i’ll help if you need,” i nod and he grabs my dress, nodding at me to put my arms up, i do and he slides it over me. “sit down,” again, i do. i sit on the edge of the bathtub as he grabs a random towel, wetting it and wiping off my face. “there you go,” he smiles throwing the towel elsewhere and leaning down to kiss me, “such a pretty girl,”
☆ °:. *₊ ° . °
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corvidae-00 · 6 months ago
Note
Please some jealous (kind of toxic ) joost but with a happy ending 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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A/N: **fiddles fingers maliciously** this- I love this- He would so be sorta toxic and totally let his ego get ahead of him- this is gonna be fun to write! I hope you like it!!!!- GN!Reader x Joost :> CW: Toxic mannerisms, Marko is being used as the reason Joost gets worked up- (I love Marko I swear-), swearing, Angry Joost, tinny witty bitty bit of angst, Joost overthinking, smoking. (Let me know if I missed anything!! Word count: 1,747
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The after party for eurovisions semi final was packed with the singers and the energy in the room was for sure through the roof. Joost your good friend and his group invited you to come with, Joost wanting to share this moment with you more than anything- the excitement and hype of everyone putting their hearts out there and competing only to come together to talk about how much happened, having you there would make it even better, if that would be even possible.
You agreed to come along, not that you had much choice, the Dutchman having begged and nagged and spammed you until you agreed. Not that you didn't want to come! But you knew you would stand out like a sore thumb, probably hang out by a corner waiting for the delicious food to be available or not so crowded. Looking over your outfit and the time you smile pleased with how you look and wonder slightly if Joost would too. You have had the biggest crush on him since a few months after you got to know him, the feelings having appeared and clung onto you with every ounce of power possible, and honestly? You were fine with that. Smoothing out your clothes you look at the time and decided if you want to make it in time you absolutely had to leave.
Grabbing your bag you left your hotel you had booked for the event and quickly drove over to the Venue like Joost told you it would be, not leaving the Malmo Arena, I guess the hosts didn't want to spend more money renting another place out for the singers, at least it was well know and easy to find. Stepping out of your car you hurry inside showing the security your invite from Joost and entering the main lobby reading your friends text to find the way glaring at the device unsure of what Joost was even trying to explain
"Are you looking for someone?" A strong accented and shy voice came from behind you causing you to turn around and blink a few times at the man in a very midevil looking outfit and gentle eyes holding a cup of what you assumed was water, but could be vodka- maybe he was crazy like that "Sorry- Im Marko.." He quickly introduces himself before continuing "You look extremely lost- Im sorry for spooking you" He says with a genuine tone leading to a smile pulling its way onto your lips. After introducing yourself you look back down at your texts "Im actually here for the after party? my friend- one of the performers invited me and he is quite the character when it comes to instructions..." You rub the back of your neck trying to explain the situation to the stranger who was just as bashful as you "Oh! I was just heading back! I'm not very talkative so I got some air but I can take you to the area they have for us" He offers running his hand through his hair that is surprisingly still in good shape like he had maybe applied hairspray not too long ago "Oh would you??" You put away your phone letting Marko nod and wave his hand indicating you to follow
"So who is your- eh- friend?" Marko looks over at you trying to make small talk. "Oh! His names Joost, he is representing the Netherlands." You explain and Marko's face brightens a little "Oh yes! I enjoy his company!" Marko nods with a smile "Makes sense you two are friends! it seems he can befriend almost everyone" He explains putting a finger to his jaw in what seems to be thought "Do you like cats?" Marko questions as you two get closer to the room, music can be heard from inside. nothing too crazy or club like but maybe just background ambiance "Oh yeah! They are so cute! I don't have any of my own but I like visiting my friends kitty's" You smile watching Marko excitedly pull out his phone "Oh let me show you mine!" He says as you two enter the room Marko going through his camera roll leaning into you to get closer so you can see better
Joost Turns to look at the door, hearing the squeak of the hinges that whines under the weight of it being even cracked open and furrows his brows seeing you walk in with Marko...What was he doing out there? Realizing he must have left the party Joost grows even more confused as to why you two were together- wasn't his directions perfectly understandable? His large blue coat long since shedded, Joost rolls up the sleeves of his white button up and crosses his arms leaning on a table watching the two of you interact. 'he is very close to you' he thinks to himself, a sour taste in his mouth watching you laugh at something he had said 'why is he, the shyer one of the bunch all buddy buddy with you? I mean you always have been so approachable- but that's not fair.' Joost clicks his tongue growing more and more impatient 'what if you are leaving me for him? what if you even forget who invited you here?' Joost can feel his patience thinning and the party getting quieter the more he focuses in on you two. Marko with a big grin on his face and you laughing at a photo he had shown you.
"Hey there you are!" Joost doesn't even recall when he had took strides over- or when he was so close to you he could feel the warm body heat emitting off of you "Marko! How nice of you to find my nieuwsgierig hertje". he purrs looking down at the man who is staring up at him "Oh uh-" Marko looks over at you and then slowly puts his phone away and wraps both hands around his drink "Yeah no issues" Marko nods. "No issues." Joost repeats grinding his molars together forcing a grin. he had never any issues with the Croatian- until he was basically in your arms "Bye-" Marko waves at you with a small smile wanting to escape the current situation and looking at Joost before entering the party again "Joost- You spooked him away" You sigh wrapping your arm around your friend leaning into him and Joost can feel his mind calming "He was too close to you" Joost huffs taking his glasses out of his chest pocket putting them on and pushing them up his nose
"He was showing me his cats-" You raise a brow and Joost looks down at you "that close? I think he just wanted to be up on you" Joost rubs his arms and looks away with annoyance lacing his voice "Whats got you in a mood?" you tug on his shirt and Joost grumbles "Nothing." He reply's and you frown "Nothing my ass, what's wrong" You stand your ground not expecting the tall blonde to drag you out into the hall not caring about his grand exit.
"Nothing is wrong." He snaps once you both get out into the hall "You were all emojis and smiles before you saw me walk in with Marko! he was very sweet." you huff and Joost crosses his arms "Sweet huh? sounds like you have a crush." He fixes his glasses that are slipping off his nose "I just met him Joost, what's up with you?" you frown walking towards him "This is a new side of you" You observe and Joost shakes his head "Im always like this okay?" he throws his hands up and you shake your head
"What- is wrong." you demand and Joost glares "Maybe I don't want to see someone I think highly of with some other guy." He says sarcastically "Highly of?" You push and Joost shakes his head "What are you talking about." You reach for him and Joost grabs your wrist, not hard- you could actually pull away if you wanted too "Someone I have wanted as mine forever, walks in with a guy who clearly was hanging off your every word." Joost pushes through his teeth.
you both stand there still as a wall and Joost observes your face, his pupils scanning you over and avoiding eye contact " you- want me?" You repeat and Joost sighs "onoplettend" he mutters and you shake your head "You cant use your mother tongue to get out of this Joost-" you say and take a shaky breath "Do you like me? like- like like-" You mutter and Joost swallows hard "Ja." He responds and you can feel your face grow hot "Really?" you mutter and Joost drops your wrist "Really. and it really- shook me I guess seeing you come in with him.." Joost grumbles and you shake your head "Your directions were ass" You laugh a little upon noticing Joost's offended face "They were eligible-" He defends and you sigh "I- feel the same- I have for such a long time-" You admit with a small smile "I never thought it was possible-" You shrug and Joost blinks at you like you are speaking in a whole other language
"Not possible-??" he repeats in pure shock "You are the most funniest, smartest, good looking, talented, and so much more of a person that I have ever met." Joost says his eyes going soft and you cant help the silence that comes after your brain still playing catch up with the new information "I wanted to tell you properly- a way you would see me as the same ways I see you..." He rubs his forearms nervously tracing his scattered tattoos. "but I guess-" He smiles "This might do?" he chuckles and you rub your mouth slightly with your hand "It does more than might do- I'm so happy-" You mutter and close your eyes taking a deep breath before walking towards him and embracing him in a big bear hug "You don't know how happy I am that you feel the same way" Joost says exasperated "Next time just tell me you goof than getting all jealous" You tease and Joost shakes his head "I was NOT jealous lets get that straight right now" He states playfully "Okay Mr.Not jealous" You chuckle as Joost wraps his arms around you "how does dinner sound tomorrow night-" He smiles and you nod slightly into his chest "consider it a date." you hum
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Dutch translation: Curious deer: "nieuwsgierig hertje". Yes: Ja Oblivious: onoplettend A/N: heheheh I'm just cranking these out!!! I hope you liked it Anon and I hope it was what you were wanting! if not feel free to request again and I'm more than happy to keep writing!!! Thank you all for the love and the requests and everything! it makes my day seeing how many of you like my stuff....thank you! i love you all!!!!!
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star-girl69 · 10 months ago
Text
Love Song
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
—-
a/n: just needed to do some general hc’s to get all my thoughts in order i hope you all enjoy!!
Love song - Lana Del Rey
warnings: the formatting is weird idk why i can’t fix it but y’all will live, swearing, a little itty bitty bit of violence, every facet of clarisse finding its way here and i love them all, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
i’m sure we all agree on this
but clarisse is very protective of you
even if you’re a very capable fighter, even if you’re even better than her, clarisse is still so protective of you
i mentioned this in one of my fics (maybe so it goes…????) but like the reason behind this is the fact that clarisse is just SCARED
she is terrified of losing you bc you are the only one she feels like she can be herself with
like clarisse is insane!!!!! in a good way!!!!! but also she’s a 17 year old girl…. she wants TO BE LOVED
she tries to talk to you about how she feels about her dad and about everything else in her life, but even though she doesn’t want to be, she’s locked up like a vault
she knows her emotions are always super intense and she has big reactions
major anger issues but they’ve gotten better with age
the problem is she spent her entire life being told that she needed to calm down, that she couldn’t feel like that all the time, and she just tried to shut down
obviously that did not work
but it still makes it virtually impossible to talk about her feelings
when it comes to you tho she’s an open book
she’s a daughter of ares she’s headstrong she’s proud and her fatal flaw is PRIDE
i mentioned this before but she wants everyone to know that you’re hers and she’s yours
your relationship is partly very public
she’s not afraid to touch you or kiss you
she’s not afraid to show you off and (needs to) show everyone that yes your beautiful self belongs to HER
so naturally she gets very jealous
even when you’re like clarisse you are INSANE
there’s been a few times when you first started dating and you were still getting comfortable and weren’t that public yet so like someone would flirt with you
it went like this
boy: hey what’s up you’re kinda fine
y/n: oh! oh yeah no….. no…..
clarisse: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU—
then she started attacking him
lost dessert privileges for a month, she proudly declared that it was worth it (besides you would sneak her bites of yours like)
now that everyone knows you’re hers her jealousy is rooted a lot more in delusion and insecurity
you’ll be like in a group talking someone and she’ll pull you closer and be like “i think that guys staring at you a little too much.”
“clarisse no the fuck he’s not what”
b/c of the fact that she isn’t a son for her father she gets insanely jealous if specifically a MAN gets even an inch too close however innocently
she doesn’t want to think it but she thinks you’ll eventually realize her father is right and she’s not as useful or good bc she’s a girl
most of the time when she gets jealous bc of her insecurities she just becomes extra clingy
but also any emotion she feels she gets extra clingy to you so sometimes it’s hard to tell LMAO
she isn’t really a big hand holder but that’s only because she’s actually holding you CLOSER to her by your waist
also one more note about your relationship publically
everyone gets whiplash bc like she’s a BULLY fo everyone else and then you walk over and she’s all heart eyes
i hate everyone but you trope save me
save me i hate everyone but you trope
THIS HAPPENED IN IN A GOOD WAY
clarisse: pushes percy over
you: nuh uh clarissseeeeeeee
clarisse: omg hi beautiful gf
you: touches her shoulder, looks at her disapprovingly
clarisse: fine i’ll go, *scares percy*, bye bye beautiful ily
like she’s just being a bitch and then all of a sudden you come around and she’s like hiiiiiii babyyyyy how is my gorgeous gorgeous girl today??
so outwardly clarisse is just very proud and touchy
privately she lets herself be a little more chill
this is where she really touchy you thought before was worse nah
idk if y’all have noticed but in my fics clar’s always holding on y/n’s hips and that’s just me self projecting bc i have the most horrid hip dips but my point still stands
SHE LOVES YOUR HIPS
would totally call them “love handles” IM SORRYY
but she just likes having a place to hold where she can just like kinda actually physically grab you with her hands
like yeah she can wrap her arms around your waist but she likes to GRAB you
cuddling w her is fun bc like this girl cannot get ENOUGH of you there’s only like three ways you cuddle
you on top of her whether just like completely on top of her (one of her favs) or just with your head on her chest
this is what happens whenever you feel scared
like there was a monster attack just near the barrier and you’ve all been feeling uneasy all day
TRUST you are sleeping in her bed tonight
wraps her arms around you so tight it’s like she’s crushing you
also she’s running your back or caressing your head whichever you prefer
she keeps her spear right next to her bed and makes sure you can see it so you know however subconsciously NOTHING can hurt you bc she’s right there (nothings gonna hurt you baby vibes)
or she’s on top of you this one usually happens when she’s feeling a little extra insecure and jealous and it’s like no one can see you if she’s on top of her so then you’re hers
she isn’t the smartest one in the bunch but she has good intentions!!!!
also she lays on top of you if you get hurt
like after so it goes for example when y/n got that little cut on her hand
you’re like “clar pls you’re crushing me”
“um ok you scared the shit out of me today tho you need to LET ME do this fuck”
third option
you’re both laying on your side and facing each other legs tangled together and she’s probably whispering to you
she’s a big whisperer i feel it in my heart
like tracing her hands on your face and saying your so beautiful or telling you how you make her feel
oh lord take me now
also she loves you the way hozier loves
“someone asked me in the end i’d tell them ‘put me back in it’ // darlin’ i would do it again // if i could hold for a minute”
“when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth no grave could hold my body down i’d crawl back to her”
like she BREATHES for you
if she died and then you were like “i miss you” trust she would find a way to come back to life
totally daydreams about going on such a fantastical quest that the gods offer both of you immortality so you can be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever
like if the world ends y’all would still be there having a little picnic date
devotion is the only word that comes close
anyways
ok nicknames she calls you:
baby, angel, gorgeous, pretty thing/girl, beautiful, lovely, dummy (lovingly)
(recently saw a few posts abt clarisse saying mama/mamas i may be swayed)
dates she takes you on:
forces you to train w her even if you don’t like it but she lets you win OBVIIIII, under the stars in the woods, take your dinners to go and sneak back to either hers or your cabin to eat together, secret makeout sessions in the bathroom her cabin your cabin anywhere she can get her hands on you
this is so random but i get horrible migraines and i am ADDICTED to these like headache relief frequency sounds on youtube i swear they work and i was like omg you can’t have electronics at chb I WOULD NOT SURVIVE
so if you are a real one like me and get horrible migraines but this goes for being sick in general she’s like a little puppy pretending to be a wolf barely holding it together
she’ll be like at the foot of your bed begging you not to go into the light while shouting at someone at the same time to refill your water
you like have a cold
she would rub your temples if you had a headache and she would literally be like a doll for you to move around like oh you wanna lay on her chest? by all means
you wanna lay upside down with your feet in her face? as long as you get better you can do whatever you want!
you don’t wanna touch her at all? that’s where she draws the line
you’ll be like “ugh i’m hot get away from me”
“okay ☹️☹️”
“why are you touching my feet with your feet”
she places you above everyone else
like yeah other people are ok…….
but you 😍😍😍😍😍😍
this is slightly cringe but she would fr burn the whole world down and not let a flame touch you
LIKE HAVE YALL SEEN THE ANONS IVE BEEN POSTING AND THE CAPTURE THE FLAG THINGS 😱😱😱😱 (y’all always check my blog im always posting the funniest shit bc i’m funny)
“you’re one opposite teams blah blah blah you get hurt clarisse drops EVERYTHING to help you even if just a paper cut” (i have no chill fic coming soon)
THEN THEN the other one that was like “ok but what if you ACTUALLY get hurt like broken leg”
clarisse just goes crazy when you’re hurt
in so it goes: “what if that cut gets infected?”
you’re her WORLD she literally can’t stand the thought or something happening to you or else she starts literally shaking in anger and sadness
but when clarisse gets hurt it’s a whole other story
LIKE FUCK YOU JUST WANNA CARE ABOUT HER AND SHES ALL LIKE “it’s chill.”
NO ITS NOT YOURE GONNA BLEED OUT 😭😭
clarisse never let’s anyone but you see her true emotions
like yeah when you’re in public and you’re being cutesy she starts smiling and everyone is SO confused
but still
she never lets anyone see her as WEAK
so she always downplays her injuries in terms of how much they hurt, but flaunts them off proudly at the same time?? yeah that makes sense
after a capture the flag game you march her to the bathroom with a first aid kit “ok baby take off your shirt”
she always makes some flirty comment like SHUSH NOT RN
then she has all these bruises and every once in a while a cut from someone’s sword
you’re like 😔😔💔
you’re the only one she will let clean her up
unless she like breaks a bone or needs stitches (which has never happened) no way in hell she’s going to the healers
if you’re a child of apollo or smth she’s like “i literally have my own person healer right here…..”
anyways i think that’s all but i will probably be updating this when i think of more stuff bc as we know i have no chill
thank you all sm for reading and reblogging and liking and commenting and sending all of your WONDERFUL asks they make me so happy i’m always giggling when i get one
anyways bye bye 😘
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme
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januaryrabbit · 5 months ago
Note
Request: how svt would deal with their crush being in a relationship already (their crush is their bff)
hello! thank you for requesting, im sorry its so late!! :) this scenario is kinda angsty so i hope you dont mind!!
seventeen when their crush (who happens to be their best friend) is in a relationship!!!
pairing: svt x gn!reader
word count: 2.3k
warnings: angst, Simping, Yearning
other disclaimers/notes: lowercase intended; barely proofread because it's 4am!!!, i’ve been watching wayyyyy too many coming of age films lately lmao!!!
✩‧₊˚Cope (trying to be normal)
vernon: vernon rolls with the punches in most any circumstance, and this is no exception. like Yeah….this shit sucks….but you guys are best friends, so he has to deal with it. i don’t think this would affect him too much tbh,,,like i think the fact that he’s in love with you is something he rarely even admits to himself. i feel like he always has it in the back of his mind, but nothing more than that. i think he’d be able to ignore his feelings the most successfully out of all the members because vernon’s realistic with himself and he knows there’s no point in being hurt over something that’s out of his control. none of this stops him from loving you, but that’s something for him to know and you to never find out lol. seungkwan knows about vernon’s feelings btw. he (vernon) figures that if he had to tell anyone…it would be him, and for whatever reason, he felt compelled to tell at least one person about all of this. vernon doesn’t know why, but it feels better knowing that someone knows his true feelings, even if that someone isn’t, and probably can never be, you.
s.coups: you know that face he makes after the girl rejects him in mansae??? Yeah. Yeah that’s him at all times lmao. he cant say hes mad at anyone in this situation, except maybe the universe lmao. i think he just regards this whole situation has his life’s hugest bruh moment LOL. he’s gotten okay at pretending like everything’s fine when he’s around you, because in his mind, there’s nothing else he can do. there was no way he was going to end his friendship with you, but there was also no way he could confess his feelings to you. in private, he’s talked to some of the boys about it in private - mostly jeonghan and joshua, but sometimes when he’s feeling particularly frustrated with the situation, he goes to woozi, who is able to ground him every time he feels like he can’t take it anymore. seungcheol knows that to others, being friends with you while still being in love with you doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense; but if it meant you were still in his life to some capacity, that was all that mattered to him.
joshua: the definition of smiling thru the pain…like he’s literally katy perry They ask you how you sre and you just have to say that youre fine even though youre not fine like. i think more than anything, he’s not too torn up over this situation than he is irritated. the mention of your partner makes his eye twitch LMFAO. like when you come back from going on a trip with them, you start telling joshua about everything you did together and he’s like THAT’S SO COOL Y/N . I’M SO GLAD YOU GUYS HAD FUN. *eye twitch* LOL. tries his best not to go overboard with it or make it obvious that he’s being sarcastic - he’s aware enough to know that your happiness is important and that unless there’s a legit reason one day, he doesnt have any grounds for disliking your s/o too LOL. i think he’s probably overly cautious if you ever tell him that you and your s/o were having problems as well. like he would be try really hard to be neutral if you ever asked him for his opinion on a situation that happened between you and your partner. i think he would feel guilty about being your confidant while having these feelings for you,,as much as he wants to tell you to break up with them and be with him instead, he knows how terribly selfish of him it would be to put you in that situation. so, he endures it everyday.
dk: dude……HE IS ALSO SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN…..but like HES ALSO CRYING….SO BAD….like. he tries REALLY hard to keep everything lighthearted around you - any time the conversation gets even close to being serious, he always pivots to a different topic. some of the other boys can tell something’s the matter when he’s around you, but they can’t quite place what’s different about him. when he’s around you, he just seems ever-so-slightly…off. his smile is less bright, his jokes are a little less frequent, and he’s actually kind of quiet when people are around you two. it’s a weird sight to see, and dk knows this; he knows that others have noticed, but he’s trying as hard as he can to behave as naturally as he can around you. i think he’s one of the members that would be pretty broken up about the situation, similar to mingyu. i don;t see him being able to deal with something like this well. i think he definitely goes to the other boys for comfort about this, to the point where his feelings for you are kind of an open secret amongst them lmao. (except dino because seungkwan begged everyone not to tell him because he thinks dino would make it obvious that dk likes you so they leave him in the dark!!!) 
seungkwan: bruh seungkwan tries so hard to be normal around you but then he’ll text vernon “im third wheeling y/n again please kill me” in the same breath. sometimes when he’s falling asleep at night he’s just like god how did i end UP in this situation!!!!!  he’s more of the kind of person who’s pouty about it instead of sad about it. he just finds the situation annoying more than anything, and he wishes that you would just REALIZE HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU ALREADY!! but he’s alright with waiting it out. i think he’s one of the members who would be not very fond of your partner LMAO. every time they greet seungkwan he’s just like “oh hey -___- how are you -___-” and your partner is like babe how do i get seungkwan to like me and you’re like HAHA he’s just like that, he needs to warm up to you!! (seungkwan knows this is not the case with this specific person.) but yeah, i think seungkwan also holds out hope that one day the two of you will end up together. i don’t think he would go as far as to ruin your relationship or influence you to break up with your partner, but i think he would definitely confess if you ever became single again LOL. i think it would be a teary confession too, because he’s been bottling up all these feelings for a while.
✩‧₊˚depression.
chan: oh my lee chan…i think he would fucking die in this situation!!! it would just, Destroy him. and you could tell there was something seriously wrong…he just wasn’t his usual excited self anymore, and he was suddenly beginning to avoid you out of nowhere. dino doesn’t want to do this; he doesn't want to be anywhere but by your side, but that place isn’t for him anymore and he knows that all too well. i think he would be one of the only people who would actually confess his feelings at some point, regardless if you were in a relationship or not. i think one day he would reach his breaking point and ust blurt it out because he just can’t take it anymore. i think part of him, although he feels guilty for it, knows that telling you about it is the first step he needs to take for him personally to move on. the only thing that hurts him more than not being able to be your person is keeping a secret this huge from you.
jun: dude this is the cat version of a kicked puppy. like. jun is NOT ok…..and he’s not very good at hiding it i think. i think you’d be able to tell that something was wrong, but jun is terrified about talking about this with you, so you never really find out what’s bothering him. i dont think he’s one who would ever end up telling you about his feelings. in fact, he might be one of the only ones who lets your friendship naturally drift apart because of his feelings for you. it’s not that he doesnt want to be in your life, but he also wants to get over you more than anything. but i think it would be incredibly difficult for him to see you as just a friend tbh, so for as long as you’re dating your partner, i think he’d keep his distance sadly.
hoshi: the light in this man’s eyes have unironically left. like. the thought of hoshi being sad over you……..I CAN’T BEAR IT!!! yeah i think he would take this all pretty hard. though unlike jun, i don;t think hoshi would be able to stay away from you and keep his distance. you’re too precious of a person in his life, and not to say that you aren’t in other scenarios with other members, but i just see hoshi being firm about still being in your life. in fact, he’s one of the few guys that i think is secretly hopeful that one day down the road you’ll end up together. he doesn’t ever voice these feelings to anyone; he knows it’s ridiculous to feel this way about someone who’s already taken, and he feels that if he voices it to someone that he’s going to get bad karma, LMAO. should you ever become single again though is a different story though….
mingyu: for some reason have this vibe that being in this situation would literally destroy him and eat him alive…i just feel like he’s someone who truly loves really, really hard, and adding in the fact that you’re his best friend magnifies the pain by hundreds. what do you fucking do when the person you love most in this world doesn’t return your feelings? he would be really torn up about this because on one hand, he’s never felt this way about someone before, and he wants nothing more than to be with you; but what he wants more than that is for you to be happy, and if that isn’t with him, he has to accept that. sadly, i feel like at some point this would be too much for him,,,like to the point where he keeps his distance from you a bit. he feels awful, but it’s just too hard for him to hear about you and your partner and act like nothing’s wrong when you’re around :(
✩‧₊˚avoidant
woozi: i feel like he might be a little hot and cold about it. he is Not happy in this situation, and it frustrates him that he cant really do anything about it except deal. he doesn't really like talking about your s/o and he tries his best to hide it, but you can kinda tell that there's something wrong. but when you ask him about it, he says he's totally fine! i don't think woozi would dare to ever let his feelings for you come to light, and as unhappy as it makes him to not be honest with you, he just doesn't feel comfortable with telling someone he has feelings for them when said person is in a relationship. as little of a fan he is of your s/o, woozi knows that if he was in their shoes, he wouldn't be happy if someone confessed to you while the two of you were dating. i think he would need some distance to get over you, and i think the only way that it would happen is by throwing himself into his work and begrudgingly spending a LOT of his time with hoshi LMAO!!
minghao: would distance himself by making a bunch of life changes to keep him busy so he can eventually get over you. minghao values you too much, so he figures the best solution is to take time to himself so he can get over you in a healthy way with space from you. he isn’t happy about seeing you less, but he knows that it’s what needs to be done in order for him to heal from this situation. would definitely have a vague excuse ready if you ever asked him why he was distant from you; i cannot see any universe where minghao would ever admit he used to have feelings for you, even if it had been years past. he’s keeping this one in the vault LMAO, not even jun knows!!
wonwoo: bruh…..he’s. he’s in pain. but he’s keeping it all inside. i think he’d feel really selfish for harboring these feelings toward you while you’re dating someone else. your partner was perfectly friendly to wonwoo,,,like it makes him feel WORSE that he’s in love with you. he tries to forget his feelings, even getting into relationships once in a while, but everything always comes back to you. i feel like this is a secret he’s told absolutely NO ONE at all because of how much it weighs on his heart. the only soul who does know to some extent is mingyu, because he caught wonwoo crying one day when he came home early from work. wonwoo didn’t really get into the details, but he did admit that it he had unrequited feelings for someone. mingyu didn’t pry, and he still never has. 
jeonghan: there is Pain behind his eyes lol but he is keeping this secret in the Vault fr. Maybe, M a y b e s.coups MIGHT know, but that’s about it. jeonghan is one of the only people i can imagine is completely normal around you and no one can tell that there’s anything wrong. the only reason that seungcheol knows anything is because he knows jeonghan the best, and he could tell by the way that he hung onto your every word that he had feelings for you. but yeah, i think jeonghan would have the easiest time living with this secret from you. sometimes he does feel a little guilty, and honestly sometimes he does flirt with you lightly, but nothing to arouse any serious suspicion. mostly he’ll just say he likes your outfit or something when you’re hanging out, which is harmless in his mind. it does bother him that the person he’s in love with is dating someone else, but i think jeonghan would just be like “what else can i do at this point??” and continue with his life. not much changes between the two of you, besides jeonghan being a little more quiet when the topic of your relationship or partner comes up, but it’s not something you notice anyway. and such is life, whether jeonghan is truly okay with it or not.
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cokou · 4 months ago
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𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚐𝚊𝚛 𝙻𝚊𝚠 × 𝙵! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
sum. Law catches himself falling for you. ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tw. Fluff. It's pretty sweet. Bottling up feelings. Mutual Feelings. ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ a/n. Law is pretty shit at bottling his feelings, but whatever! I'm terribly sick when i wrote this im sorry if its shit 😭😭 Do not translate or transfer my works, this is my only account. Will not be crossposted anywhere. // Masterlist💗
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The Polar Tang had recently resurfaced this week, the captain ordering suddenly was a surprise itself, especially for no particular reason at all.
Evening strikes once again as a part of this day, sitting and admiring the look of the starry night on the dock of the Polar Tang. Taking a seat on the portable chair, you take your book to enjoy the cold breeze of air casting through your skin. As you enjoy the silence that the night offers you, you heard the sound of a door opening behind you.
"oh, Good Evening captain, came to enjoy the breeze?"
"Was hoping for silence actually." You take a glance over your captains silhouette, he was carrying a book.
"Well you'll find that here, I promise to not wreak havoc!" Offering him a smile, you point out a chair he could occupy infront of you. He takes a seat and quietly goes through the book.
Feeling the first short glance that Law gave you, you decided to ignore the sudden feeling of him watching you. The second was the same, the usual cold glances he shot at you, then stops. You didn't mind as he might've just saw something. Eventually the action stops as silence drops again.
It had been a while since you've joined the heart pirates, maybe at least months and months ago, but despite that, you and the crewmates had gone very close in a matter of days. Law hadn't mind the atmosphere around you most of the time, he'd treat you like he would to any other crewmate on the ship.
But one thing that everyone insists is that Law himself had grew quite kind to you, avoiding hard duties to do, or even letting you help him out in his personal office. But all you did was deny, after all you've seen some of them help out the captain, explaining that almost all pirate captains do that.
The sounds of waves brought your attention back into reality, gazing over the captain who was quietly reading Infront of you. Averting your gaze to the dark ocean before you, enjoying the strong waves washing over the Polar Tang.
Law sneaks a glance at you as you look over at the deck, checking on what you were doing. Winds washing your hair strands onto your face, your hair being rustled by wind. Law returns his gaze into the book once again, stopping himself to check you every sexond that was passing.
Eventually he gives in, slowly looking at your direction with only his eyes, no movement in his head whatsoever. Suprisingly as he looked over to you, you returned the gaze to him and gave him a soft smile. Law struggled to breath for a few seconds, his heart beats poundes faster inside his chest, he tried to conceal the nervous state he had put upon himself.
"Are you okay? You look like you're sweating."
"Yeah, everything's fine ya' " Placing the book down on his lap, closing it.
"I love the night's atmosphere today, it's calming. I can understand why you value being alone all by yourself now!" You look towards him as he turn his head towards the deck's railing, admiring the ocean waves and the moon peaking up through the clouds, reflecting back into the ocean waters.
"Yes, it is indeed..calming." Returning his sight to you, he felt his cheeks burning slightly. Realizing that his cheeks were burning a pink shade as he peaks at you once more, he was more than glad that it was night time, which means you wouldn't spot the awkward look on him.
His mind completely denies this feeling washing through him whenever he was with you, denying everything, making excuses that he should be a responsible captain and looking after his crewmate, but his heart completely denies all the ideas his mind offers for him, making it worser to cope being with you in private or alone.
He's more than glad to show you how much he could treat you, but thinking this wasn't the time at all and rejection being one more. He decides to bottle everything, throwing away his mindless yearns to tell you how much he feels towards you into the ocean, where everything eventually drifts off into a land, or completely sink without anyone knowing.
It's the best for his mind, he thinks. Maybe if only he knew that your feelings were as much as mutual towards him, then you both wouldn't feel like idiots resisting each others directions. He wishes to say what's on his mind, but only if you go first. But one thing is for sure, he does love you.
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©Cokou 2024, all works belong to me.
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boba-at-323 · 6 months ago
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Stay-home dates with RIIZE !!
Note : OMG !! I had so much fun writing thisssss <333 || DID NOT PROOFREAD PLEASE || Also Idk what to tw but I have mentioned snacks a whole lot of time + I TRIED MY BEST TO MAKE IT GENDER NEUTRAL BUT LIKE SINCE IM FEMALE SO EXCUSE ME ;-; please enjoyyyy !!
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Osaki Shotaro <3 !
Hmm, not a big fan, but as long as you're happy he is too !!
Omg !!
You ask him to film TikToks with you and he's MORE THAN HAPPY !!
So like you've saved a lot of trends and dances you wanna recreate with him.
He's so excited and gets all giggly over it!
Takes it a little too seriously…
Like you're looking at him with your jaw dropped and eyes wide because how did it take him one look to literally MASTER the dance.
Laughs embarrassed when you praise him !!
But you tell him that he's too fast for you ';-; so he apologises and suggests teaching you the dance step by step!
The two of you continuously burst into fits of giggles when something goes wrong.
ITS JUST SO FUNNY BUT IN A CUTE WAY FOR SOME REASON
You'd film like 29837209 TikToks and just have fun goofing around.
You might also end up exhausted on the floor reviewing the videos you filmed.
Thinks you look very cute and asks you to do this often with him!
Might get bored if you don't have a lot to do.
HOWEVER !!!
Would love to talk to you about anything really.
I feel like he's someone who enjoys conversing, so you might actually start having deep conversations that will last for hours.
Hmm rating 8/10 PLS HES SO ADORABLE <3
Rest of the members under the cut !
Song Eunseok <3 !
This man is literally so chill with everything.
Like you'd suggest going for a picnic on a volcano and he'd be like "lol ok."
Okay, maybe not that much but yk what I mean !!
So yeah you're probably sitting with him binge-watching some anime or series.
He's quiet the whole time and is actually very immersed in the story.
However, he will be passing comments every now and then.
And I tell you, these comments are so out of pocket???
Like you can't help but burst out laughing.
And he's just gonna look at you like "😐".
AS IF HE HADN'T SAID THE MOST FUNNIEST THING YOU'VE HEARD ALL WEEK.
So yeah be prepared cuz the witty comments he's gonna slip will crack you so bad.
Like it actually makes you question how his brain works
ESPECIALLY HOW HE DOES LITERAL STAND-UP COMEDY WITH THAT SERIOUS EXPRESSION !!!
But it's okay, that just means he's having fun!
Also, it's very hard to concentrate on whatever you're watching cuz he looks so pretty next to you.
Like you keep on looking at him, smirks 100%
"Yeah I know I'm too hard to resist"
GETS COCKY BUT CAN YOU BLAME HIM !!!
Also makes sure you get your share of snacks!!
I'd rate it a solid 9/10 cuz it's really entertaining!
Jung Sungchan <3 !
HE IS NOT ENTERTAINED BY THE IDEA !!!
But after much convincing, he gives in.
"At least we get to spend time together, right?"
YOU'RE BAKING TOGETHER YIPPIEEEE!!!
But what happens is like,
You're standing there tying your hair back, you ask him for help with your apron.
Gets a little too touchy
You have to slap his arm away and give him a death glare.
Pretends he doesn't know what he did rn 😔
Is actually a very good helping hand.
Like helps you out, follows everything you tell him to do, however...
Has his doubts, and totally shakes his head if he thinks smth is going wrong.
"Y/n are you sure it's 2 cups sugar?" "I don't think we should be using butter…"
NOOO ENDS UP GETTING KICKED OUT OF THE KITCHEN BECAUSE
Like he said, he takes up a large radius.
So this clumsy baby probably toppled over a lot of things, making a very big mess ;-;
Apologises repeatedly with sad puppy eyes 🥹
You kiss his cheek and tell him it's fine
Though you ask him to sit it out and let you handle the rest of the process yourself.
YOU DO DECORATE WTV YOU MADE TOGETHER SO HES VERY EXCITED FOR THAT !!!
I'd rate it a 4/10, this man is NOT meant to be confined to a small space.
Park Wonbin <3 !
Would prefer them actually !!!
He'd absolutely LOVE to cuddle with you throughout the day.
Like he'd just be clinging onto you telling you literally everything that happened to him cuz for some reason he gives me yapper vibes
Though he'd appreciate listening to what you have to tell him, leaving a trail of kisses all over your neck.
Also he LOVES your voice so much omg !
So he can also pull out his guitar and have a serenade with you (english 💀).
Would ask you your favourite song, and if he doesn't know it WILL make sure he knows it the next time you guys have an at-home date
If he knows, he plays it for you encouraging you to sing.
you tell him you think your voice sucks.
A DRAMATIC GASP COMES FROM HIS DIRECTION !!!
"Nonsense idc i just wanna hear your pretty voice <3"
Literally heart eyes for you once you start singing,
Like might actually melt, give you the softest, most lovesick gaze EVER !
There is a possibility he ends up messing up the cords cuz you distracted him !!!
He's so cute pls </3
Omg also, the two of you might also end up in the kitchen cooking smth together, blasting a playlist he made for you!
But you don't know that <3
He actually so desperately wants to do cliche romantic things with you but is too shy to initiate </3
It's giving that "Idk how to flirt so I'm just gonna stare at you till you marry me" meme
HOWEVER !!
Be prepared for endless back hugs because he's just so SO soft for you <333
Anyways yeah 11/10 (+1 is probably cuz I'm so down bad for him)
Hong Seunghan <3 !
My manz I miss him all day everyday ;-;
He's so sweet I tell you, agrees to literally everything.
Putting mbti and stuff aside, I think he'd actually plan out a few activities you could do together.
Like if you're going over to his place, hes prepared snacks and stuff for you.
Hmm !! Video games are a must I believe !!
Like I read he plays FIFA online???
SO yeah, if you know how to play, the both of you would spend hours playing together
I don't see him getting very competitive but will whine if you keep on beating him!
However, will also compliment on how great you are at the game!!
HE FEELS PROUD I TELL YOU !!
However, if you don't know how to play and absolutely suck (like me ;-;)
HE'D BE SO EXCITED TO TEACH YOU !!
When you mess something up, or like if you can't understand something, the pout on your lips makes his heart EXPLODE.
Like he thinks you're the most adorable ever, he'd start squealing if his pride lets him.
Ends up attacking you with kisses and hugs.
The game is long forgotten, just a clingy Seunghan showering you with love because of how adorable he finds you.
I'D RATE IT AN 8/10 TBH BECAUSE HE'D FORGET WHAT PERSONAL SPACE IS !!!
Lee Sohee <3 !
SPENT SO MUCH TIME THINKING SOMETHING FOR HIM 😭
Unlike Seunghan, I can see him playing board games and such with you!
For example, the two of you could be sitting on the floor playing UNO.
But that got boring CUZ HOW DO TWO PEOPLE EVEN PLAY UNO !!!
So takes out a Jenga set because he thought it was very entertaining!
Both of you are screaming SO much when either chooses the wrong piece to remove.
HOWEVER, HE'S USING THE SPECIAL SKILLS EUNSEOK TAUGHT HIM!!!
Which is unfair to you and you WILL whine about it.
"All is fair in war and Jenga"
HIS WORDS NOT MINE !!!
Laughs at you because you're definitely the one who's going to topple the tower over.
So yeah you all spend a lot of time giggling and screaming over board games!
OMG ALSO !! Thanks to Anton, he bought some Lego sets too!!
You all start good but eventually get so frustrated because you can't find one tiny piece.
Ofc you give up and spend the rest of the evening with his karaoke machine !!
HE !! WANTS !! TO !! SING !!
And please you're just so mesmerised the whole time he's singing.
Like woah??? His voice is so good even when he's goofing around? INSANE!!
Though you aren't losing to him, so the both of you get SUPER competitive.
RATING THIS A 7/10 !!
Lee Anton <3 !
Like Wonbin, he'd also enjoy stay-at-home dates.
I can see him enjoying doing anything, to be honest.
Like for example, the two of you could just be lying next to each other sharing with each other reels you see.
Or just him listening to you telling him some tea from your workplace/college etc.
Sitting on the bed together with a variety of snacks sprawled around.
Like Sohee, I can even see him building Legos in silence with you cuz this guy is so patient !
Oh also!
He'd pull out his laptop and shyly ask if you'd like to listen to the music he's created.
After listening, your face is the shocked Pikachu meme.
"Woahhh my boyfriend is so cool :OOO"
Get's blushy over the compliments you shower him with.
Brushes it off saying it's nothing.
THATS A FREAKING LIE LEE CHANYOUNG!!
NEways, teaches you how to try making music.
Laughs if you cry about how difficult it is, he thinks it's adorable.
You ask him to delete the trash you've made, but he creates a separate folder to save everything you've made with him.
ITS ART TO HIM !!! HOW CAN HE THINK SMTH YOU'VE CREATED IS TRASH?!?!?!
Plus he treasures it so much like only if he could somehow just make you feel how much it means to him !!
SO YEAH !
Pretty cute, very cozy, overall nice experience 10/10 <3
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Thank you for reading reblogs and reviews are appreciated ! <3
Title : Stay-home dates with Riize || Word count: 1652 || Genre: fluff ! || Pairing: Riize x implied Fem!Reader (tried making it gender neutral pt.29382938)
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0anonnymouslyours0 · 10 months ago
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hi I have literally never done this before but I saw your post just now and thought what the heck
could you write a small thing about spencer reid where reader and him are neighbours and they both have a little crush on each other but never get to interact because spencer is literally never there
until either reader or spencer's apartment floods and it's 3am so they just go to their neighbour and there's maybe a cute confession?
(feel free to add your own pizzazz I love your writing!!!) <3333
hihihi girl! request anytime! this also ended up being a lotttt longer then intended <3
warnings: none, its fluffy its cute, like rlly cute and a bit cliche.
spencer reid. that was your neighbours name. considering he was home very little, you'd only seen him a few times and you've never even spoken a word; it seemed silly how much time you spent thinking about him.
you'll admit, your a sucker for a tall brunette with glasses, who wore ties and vests, and perhaps looked just a little nerdy. it was sweet, spencer looked very sweet.
he also happens to be your next door neighbour. like literally, you open the door of your house every day, and are confronted with the site of his own house. he's right there. you've debated sliding a note under his door, or just knocking and suggesting coffee, but you've always backed out.
the opportunity however, presents itself in a slightly annoying way. in the afternoon, you arrive home and walk into your living room to discover the entire floor flooded. one quick check of the house, and you've determined the entire place is flooded.
"jesus christ." you mutter, dialing a plumber and the flood services in your city.
when they arrive, its determined your house will be unliveable for 2 days. 2 whole days.
the plumber, matt, stares at you. "apologies, lady, but your pipes are pretty busted. its gonna cost you too."
you groan, annoyed.
"oh, uh your neighbour, you should check with them. see if they've got any issues." he adds.
you stop, spencer. your neighbour. you have a reason to go talk to him. you leave the plumber, and his little team to get to work, and cross the street to spencers house.
knock. knock.
maybe he isnt home. you look at his driveway. his car is there. the door creaks, and opens, revealing spencer reid. the man himself. in all his messy hair, rumpled shirt, afternoon glory. he pushes his glasses up, staring at you, suprised.
"hi. sorry i'm-"
"y/n." he says, quickly, and then flushes.
"right." your suprised he knows your name, though you do know his. "look uhm, sorry to bother you.. but my house kind of flooded. like everywhere. so, uhh- i was just checking if your house is all good."
his eyes widen. "your entire house? is flooded?"
you nod, grimacing. "yeah.. i mean my stuffs fine, i just have to find somewhere to stay and its a pain." you say, folding your arms and sighing.
he looks at you for a moment, thoughtful.
"uh.. besides from the fact im a total stranger.. you could um, stay with me? i mean. i have a guest room, im usually out all day. i'll cook." he says, quickly. he looks at you, expecting a no.
your suprised at his offer, intrigued even. he seems safe, your not uncomfortable.. and it would save you from having to stay in some cheap hotel.
"really? i mean- are you sure?" you confirm, raising your eyebrows at him.
he nods energetically, smiling. "i mean, it would be easier for you."
you nod, smiling back.
"well.. uh come in?" he says, shuffling to the side awkwardly.
his house is delightful, with heavy linen curtains, and tall bookshelves. the house is mostly wood, with touches of green and navy. it fits him perfectly.
"nice place you have here." you say, smiling.
"thank you." he says, staring at you for a moment. you catch him, and he looks away quickly.
"do you, uhm want a coffee? we can sit for a bit if you'd like." he says, gesturing at the couches in his living room.
you nod. "black with sugar, please."
"oh- i have mine just the same." he grins, hurrying off the the kitchen, before returning with a cup for you. he sits opposite you, studying you for a moment.
"so.. spencer, how long have you lived here?" you ask.
"5 years. which.. i think is a year longer then you?" he smiles.
"correct. uh, where do you work?"
he pauses, thinking thoughtfully. "truthfully, i work in the fbi. behavioral analysis unit." he says, staring right at you.
you shuffle in your seat, suddenly aware that this possibly means he can read your every emotion, or thought.
"thats very.. impressive, but then again you do have an intelligent look to you."
he chuckles, "well, i have been told i dress the part."
you laugh, smiling at him.
"you know.. i noticed you a while ago." he says, looking down at his coffee and swirling it.
you raise an eyebrow, curious.
"how so?"
"well, if i may be bold, your very- uhm very pretty."
your eyes widen, taken aback. you flush, letting out a soft giggle.
"you think so?" you whisper, staring at him. he finally looks up at you, nodding.
"do you say that to all the women you invite into your home?" you tease.
"i don't often invite women into my home.. in fact, you might be a first. quite special." he smiles. your cheeks feel hotter.
"well, spencer, i noticed you a while ago too. your very cute. you might be just my type." you say, staring at him.
its his turn to blush, and he looks nervous, as he turns away from you, lips parting into a smile.
"perhaps a blessing in disguise your apartment being flooded.." he whispers, the smile evident in his voice.
"i mean," you chuckle. "there has been one good outcome.."
"mmm.. silver linings and all." he says, turning to look you right in the eye. its sweet, hes very sweet. you think your very much going to enjoy your next two days here... perhaps even extend your stay.
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payasita · 1 year ago
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Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D
thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.
like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)
diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.
and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?
so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.
the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.
so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me
it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.
he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.
he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here
he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.
"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.
anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription
all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.
the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.
so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT
anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.
and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.
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