#and eventually my parents got sick of her shit too so they stopped taking us to family parties where she was present. bc she sucks

[highschoolstoryliveson]

Chloe's Birthday(s)

17

On her seventeenth birthday, Chloe groans as her alarm clock wakes her up. At some point in the night her moms must’ve snuck in to change it from the song it usually plays. Miserably looking at the time, she doesn’t bother hitting snooze, just unplugging the thing entirely. Before she can fall back into bed and pretend to be sick for the day, her phone starts buzzing. 

Accepting the facetime invite, she’s unsurprised to see Chase on some sort of train. His eyes are bright, “Happy birthday, little sis!”

Rubbing her eyes, Chloe can’t help but smile at this. “I’m like an hour older than you, dummy.”

“Maybe so, but I’ve been seventeen for nine more hours than you. So for as long as I’m here, you get to be the younger twin.”

“That’s not… that’s not how any of that works.” She huffs out a laugh and yawns, “Have you had a good day so far?”

“Totally! My host parents got us train tickets to Paris! Originally they wanted to take me to the Louvre but I knew-”

“That if you ever went without me I would kill you, blood be damned?”

“Exactly. So instead we just got to explore- and it’s so beautiful here! And hate to say it, but the bread really lives up to the hype.” 

“Spent your birthday eating bread? And I thought my plans were sad.”

“Hey! I had a piece of bread. I just didn’t bring up the nightclub because I didn’t want to make you jealous.” Chloe rolls her eyes, letting him continue instead of continuing to torture him. It was his birthday too, after all. “And what do you mean? I thought you’d have a bunch of plans with all of your new friends.”

“Yeah, but after last year it all feels too soon, ya know? I just want today to go like normal… but with more chocolate chip pancakes of course.”

“Of course… but Chlo- you really shouldn’t let what Jeanette did ruin your literal birthday.” 

Wincing at the mention of the name, she has to resist the urge to hang up and hide under her covers. “Maybe…”

“You know I’m right.” Blowing some of his blonde hair out of his eye, Chase looks to the side to talk to someone offscreen. “Oh shit- we’re about to get home and Pav says they have another surprise for me. Just…try to do something nice for yourself. Let other people do something nice for you.” 

“I- I’ll try. Love you.”

“Love you too!” And with that he’s gone. Again. She flops back onto her bed and stares at the ceiling, still wondering if she can weasel her way out of going to school. 

16

On her sixteenth birthday, Chloe was woken up by two figures laughing as they tried to sneak into her room. Glad she had the warning, she was prepared when her two best friends jumped into her bed singing ‘happy birthday’ as loudly and off-key as possible. From down the hall she could hear Chase’s friends doing the same thing. 

Katie was quick to bury herself under the covers with Chloe, while Jeanette looked through her closet and picked through outfits until she landed on Chloe’s favorite dress. Tossing the garment onto the bed, her friends left to let her get dressed and to help her moms with breakfast. 

Pulling the dress over head, she noticed that one side of the dress was a bit heavier. Once she had smoothed down any wrinkles, her hand slipped into the left pocket. Fingers wrapping around a tiny box, she pulled the first gift out. 

Gently pulling the ribbon, her heart warmed as she saw a jewelry box. Inside was a locket with a picture of the three of them their freshman year. 

17

Eventually, she accepts that she needs to face the day head on instead of hiding away from it all. Even if Payton is sure to want to do something, there might still be time to stop whatever party she has planned. 

As if.

Still, she takes some extra time pulling herself together. From making sure that her shirt doesn’t have any wrinkles, to taking the time to curl her hair, Chloe lets herself pretend for at least a moment that it’ll just be a normal day. Maybe above average, with people being nicer and the occasional ‘happy birthday’ being murmured her way. 

Before she leaves for breakfast, she stops by the large rat cage in the corner of the room. Their cage is a strange mish mash of decorations, each one of her friends pitching something in. Taking her boys gently into her hands and putting them on her shoulder as she fills their food bowls, Chloe giggles as freckles licks her cheek. “Yeah yeah, sweet boys, thank you. We’ll make sure to do something for your birthday too.” 

While making her way downstairs, she’s not surprised by the smell of pancake batter and burning chocolate. Both of her moms are in the kitchen- Stacy covered in pancake batter and Jill in chocolate syrup and whipped cream. There’s a mark on Jill’s cheek that matches Stacy’s lipstick. 

“I thought we agreed no chocolate chip pancakes this year…after-”

Cutting her off and grabbing her shoulders, her mom leads her to the table. “And we listened, Sweetheart.” Kissing her cheek and leaving her with a mark to match her mom’s, she watches as they both go into the kitchen. While waiting for them to come back, Chloe takes a quick photo of the lipstick mark on her cheek before wiping it off with a napkin. A sting goes through her heart as she remembers that this is the first year Chase won’t have a matching one. 

Still, her face lights up when she sees the strawberry covered pancakes. “Chocolate chip and strawberry pancakes.” They set the plate in front of her with a flourish, steam still wafting off them. Swatting Chloe’s hand away when she tries to eat, Stacy quickly adds the whipped cream and sticks a candle in the middle dollop. “Make a wish.” 

Instead of doing so, Chloe blows out the candle and gives both of her moms a kiss on the cheek, thanking them before digging into her breakfast. 

16

Every year, her moms made the same mistake. And every year, breakfast would end with both of the twins needing to wash the whipped cream off of their faces and out of their hair because the cans had been left on the table. The dining room had been a bit crowded, Chloe with her two best friends, Chase and his four buddies from whatever he got up to after school, two of their aunts, and their moms- but it had been so full of cheer and love no one even thought to complain. 

“You should probably head out, if you don’t want to be late.” Jill advised her children while picking up the towels everyone had used to clean up. 

Pouting, Chase crossed his arms. “It’s our birthday and you’re making us take the bus?”

“Yeah! Come on, Mrs. M, don’t leave our bro hanging!” Mike or Kale or whoever the brunette slacker was stood up for them. Chloe would’ve felt bad about not knowing her brother’s friends’ names, but he changed his friend group every few weeks. At this point it was better not to get attached. 

“And who said you were taking the bus?” Stacy’s smile promised something amazing, “Look outside.” 

Seeing the two cars with large red bows on the top, neither twin had to ask what car was theirs. Chase ran over to the black used convertible with a cheer, jumping over the door and into the front seat. Only one of his friends could fit into the car with them, but he told them all to find their own rides and drove off- no doubt in anyone's mind that he would be skipping school that day. 

Smiling at his antics, Chloe made her way to the lime green beetle. Katie joined her in the front while Jeanette sat in the backseat. As she looked through the glovebox and dash, she found two more wrapped gifts. “Guys? How many of these are there?” 

“You’ll just have to see~” Katie sang into her ear

Tearing open the paper, Chloe smiled down at the photo of the three of them during the winter formal. Chloe’s dress was a size too big, Jeanette’s at the time new braces had pretty much forced her face into a semi-permanent grimace, and Katie had yet to perfect her technique for dying her hair so half of the red had already faded. It was perfect. 

“You guys-” she felt a little choked up, and it was hard to keep her voice high. Luckily, she had told both of them over the summer and they had been accepting. Lowering her voice slightly as she cleared her throat, Chloe ignored the side glance from the back seat. They were in the middle of nowhere Alabama- it was going to be jarring. She was just glad that neither of them hated her for it or tried to say that she wasn’t like them. 

17

Just as Chloe reaches for the door handle to drive herself to school, a knock startles her. When she opens the door, it’s to Autumn, Mia, and Payton standing with a box of cupcakes. “Happy birthday!” Payton sings, gracefully pushing past her and walking inside. 

“Guys, I thought we agreed not to do anything.” 

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Mia tilts her head towards Payton before grabbing a red velvet cupcake for herself and offering one to Chloe. 

After a bite, the pink haired girl huffed. “You’re lucky these are good.” 

Luckily, for the most part that was all anyone had planned for the day. Sure, every time someone passes Chloe in the hall they wish her a happy birthday, but that’s all she was wanting. Letting herself fall back into the chaos of things, she can almost forget what happened last year. 

16

In every single one of her classes, she found a tiny gift somewhere in or on her desk. She collected a mood ring, some heart earrings, and a signed poster from THE Claire Swanson. Even on the walk back to her car after school, Chloe spotted a gift tucked into a branch in the tree right next to the exit. In the box was a leather bound custom journal from Katie and a blue sweater from Jeanette.

Running her fingers over the soft fabric and looking at the thick cut pages of the journals, Chloe stopped holding herself back and tackled her two best friends in a crushing hug. “You two are the most amazing friends in the world.”

“Right back at ya.” Jeanette’s hold had been tight and protective around her while Katie nuzzled into the space between her neck and shoulder. It was almost overwhelming to feel so loved by two people. Chloe felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have them in her life. 

17

Chloe wishes that any of her friends knew how to be subtle. Not only was Payton’s wild goose chase an obvious way to waste time, but every single one of her friends cars immediately turned to the route to get to her house when they left. Starting to wonder how any of them were able to come off as suspicious or threatening in the beginning, she sighs and begins the doomed search for Payton’s lip gloss. 

An hour later, she gets a text saying that Payton actually just found the tube of glittery paste in her pocket and Chloe is good to go home. Sending a thumbs up in response, Chloe wonders if it’s too late to join her brother in Europe. 

“You know, making them wait isn’t going to stop the party.” A voice comes behind her. Chloe jumps and turns to see Beckett with a few books in his arms. “Just going to worry them.” 

“Well maybe I’ll let them worry,” She crosses her arms and slides down the wall and onto the floor. “I told them I didn’t want a party.” 

Sitting next to her, Beckett lets Chloe lean against his arm. “And I’m sure that they believed that you, Chloe Smith-McMannon, who throws the second most parties in this school, really meant that.” 

“Well I did.”

“Why?” He tilts his head, looking uncannily like his puppy, “I feel like you more than anyone deserve a day of people celebrating you. I mean look at how much you’ve done for this place, and it’s your first year in this state. Everyone at this school is coming from… something, and you gave them a home. Let them sing a few songs for you and shower you with affection.” 

Sighing, she leans into her friend's comfort for just a little bit longer. “You know, most exes don’t stay behind to talk their old partners into going to her own surprise party.” 

“Then I’m glad I don’t see you as an ex.” He stands up and offers his hand to help her up, “Just a best friend.” 

“You’re a cornball, you know that?” She accepts his hand. 

“And damn proud of it.” 

16

After school, the trio made their way to the skate park. Occasionally Chloe and Chase liked to rollerskate on the ramps or in the dip, but her skates were at home and her brother was god knows where. So instead they made their way to an unoccupied ramp, climbed to the top, and watched as Jeanette lit a joint for herself. 

Both Katie and Chloe were too terrified to ever try smoking- so they just sat beside her and watched. They had done this enough times that their noses didn’t even wrinkle at the smell of Jeanette’s subpar weed. 

For a while, they just basked in the silence. Chloe had long closed her eyes and been basking in the sun when she heard the scrape of wheels against old wood. Her eyes opened in time to see Wilbur Diaz- a senior she had known (and had a huge crush on) since freshman orientation. “Hear it’s your birthday, McMannon.” He said, catching himself on the ramp and pulling himself up with one hand to sit next to her. 

“Yep! Officially sixteen- can you see a difference?” 

At first he just jokingly glanced her over, but then he leaned in for a ‘closer look’. He was so close that Chloe could feel his soft breaths against her lips, and it wouldn’t take much for either of them to close the distance. “Nah, still cute.” 

“Hi, Wilbur!” Jeanette spoke up, effectively ruining the moment. 

“Hey, Jean.” he nodded at her before turning his attention back to Chloe, “So I was thinking, since I was a total dumbass for not getting you anything today- maybe I could make it up to you. Take you to my ma’s restaurant in the city?” He nervously picked at his thumb, and Chloe covered his hand with her own. 

“I’d love to.” 

17

Exactly like Chloe expected, her friends’ cars line the streets and all of the lights in the house are obviously turned off when she steps out of the car. Ignoring the loud shushing, she does her best to act shocked when everyone pops up from behind her furniture to yell ‘surprise!’ 

The first thing she does is hug Payton. “Thank you.” 

“Of course!” Excitedly taking her hands, Payton cheers, “Let's do gifts!”

“Don’t people usually save that for the end?” Chloe laughs as she’s dragged to the dining room- saying hello to everyone she can as they pass by. The table is piled reasonably high with gifts. 

With eyes somehow brighter than when she saw a puppy, Payton shook her head. “Who cares what people usually do? I’m SO excited for you to see what we all got you.” 

16

Jeanette had been quiet ever since the skate park, and it wasn’t until they were already halfway to Chloe’s house that she finally spoke up. “I’m actually not feeling great, could you drop me off at home?”

“Oh.” Chloe deflated slightly and turned back in concern, “Are you okay? I’m sure my moms have some-”

“And I’m sure I want to go home.” Jeanette snapped, cutting her off. 

“Right.” Chloe changed the directions on her phone. Still, her expression rose a little when Katie put her hand over her’s. At least this wouldn’t be a total wash, she’d still have her best friend with her. She wasn’t going to let something so small ruin her birthday. Jeanette would get over… whatever was making her so angry, and they’d all be okay. 

17

Going through all of the gifts, Chloe almost isn’t able to handle how oppressive everyone's affection becomes. Kallie gets her a pink teddy bear with a little clown hat and collar, Sakura and Nishan surprise her with an almost suspiciously large pile of all of their favorite games for her Xbox (Nishan says they split the cost, but Chloe knows how decent Sakura is at pirating games she thinks are too expensive), Mia and Ezra give her a CD with a professionally mixed version of the song she had originally made for the band’s first album. 

“I finally got them to sit down and listen to it-”

“And it’s awesome! Oh my god we need to do more fun stuff like that with your fiddle.”

“We’re also going to put it on the band’s website, as an introduction to our sound.”

In the gift from Payton, Chloe pulls out two tiny suits intricately sewn to fit her rats. They even have little nametags, ‘Freckles’ and ‘Bunch’ written in careful and tiny script. “What kind of fairy godmother would I be to them if I forgot them on your special day??”

Lastly, she makes her way over to the largest gift. Even if the wrapping paper wasn’t made of photos of the two of them hanging out, Chloe would know it was from Autumn. Carefully unwrapping the gift to keep the paper in tact, she’s rendered speechless by the painting revealed. 

It’s the day she came out to Autumn. The two of them are walking on the boardwalk with ice cream- tastefully colored to represent the trans flag. The both of them look realistic, but also the vibrant colors Autumn used almost makes it look like they’re glowing. With tears in her eyes, Chloe attacks her best friend in a hug- uncaring of Wes being knocked off balance next to her. “This is the most amazing thing anyone’s ever done for me!” She mumbled, struggling to hold back tears of joy. 

“I’m glad.” Gentle arms wrapped themselves around her, “I just wanted to capture how beautiful and amazing you are…I’m glad that I was able to get close.” 

After that, she’s able to really start enjoying herself. They order pizza and have too much cake, watch her favorite horror movies, and play truth or dare- ending with Chloe and Julian sharing the most awkward kiss in the history of the universe. 

As she melts into the couch next to her friends, squished between Payton and Wes and all the happier for it, her phone dings. She looks down to see a message from Katie, just a simple ‘Happy birthday, Sweetness’. Feeling her throat filling with bile and eyes stinging with tears, she quickly excuses herself and rushes outside. 

Noticing the haste that she left in, Wes shifts to glance at her phone. His eyebrows furrow and his mouth pulls back into the beginning of a frown. Grabbing his bag, he shifts through for a second until finding what he was looking for. “I’m going to take a smoke break, be right back.” 

“You know those things will kill you one day.” Autumn chides, but she’s still smiling and leans in to let him kiss her cheek before he goes outside. 

Sitting on the bench in the backyard, Chloe is only given a few seconds warning that someone is coming. Stifling her sobs and palming away the tears and makeup on her cheeks, she looks up to see Wes walk outside. Despite knowing that she looks like a mess, he doesn’t say anything when he sits next to her. He just lights his cigarette and after a moment, offers it to her. 

Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach when their fingers touch, Chloe takes the cigarette from him and takes a large inhale from it. Letting the smoke pass her lips, the nicotine rushes through her system and forces her back into the moment. 

They smoke in silence, passing the cigarette back and forth until it’s nothing but the butt. Tossing it into his bag to deal with later, Wes pulls a large stack of papers out of his bag. 

“What’s that?”

“Your birthday gift.” He hands the stack over, and she’s faced with maybe a hundred pictures. Some of the tweets sent out when the ‘news’ broke at her old school, some of photos of her, Jeanette, and Katie, and somehow there’s the message sent to Wilbur telling him about her not an hour after they had left the skate park. 

“Without explanation, this is a really shitty gift, Wes.” 

Smirking, he digs in his pocket, “Good thing that���s not all of it.” Finally, he pulls out his lighter and hands it over. “You shouldn’t let those bitches ruin your birthday. Jeanette ruined your life and Katie left you out to dry. Some fucking friends.” Chloe went to correct him but was interrupted by the lump in her throat. “It’s time to stop letting them get to you. Burn that shit to the ground.”

“You’re insane.” Still, she leads him over to the fire pit and sets the papers down. The two of them huddle in the chill night air and watch as the bitter memories go up in flames. 

From the window, Stacy and Jill watch as their little girl leans into the arms of one of her friends. Stacy reaches out to clutch her wife’s hand, and the two share a knowing look when they see how the teens are looking at each other. “I’m glad she’s finally learning to trust again.”

“Me too. I’m so proud of her, you know?”

The Next Day

Just as she’s getting out of homeroom, Chloe gets a frantic text from Payton. ‘SOS- Student clubs protesting’

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for talking about how happy I am that I switched medications and discussing side effects I had?

CW for mention of eating disorders and vomiting

Sorry if that question is phrased weirdly.

I (F24) am in a fandom Discord server with about 50 or so people in it. I'm friends with a few of the people in the server, but the rest are just sort of acquaintances that I sometimes talk to.

We have the usual non-fandom areas for talking, sharing pictures, a vent channel, etc. There's also a sort-of vent channel that's more for discussing life stuff and getting advice.

We were talking about medications for depression/anxiety and I basically said "Yeah I used to be on SSRI's but stopped because of a few specific side effects, and then when I finally switched to a non-SSRI and realized that it was MASSIVELY fucking with my appetite to the point of causing severe binge eating issues."

The person (who was asking if we had experience with any meds) asked what I meant, so I told them how obsessed with food I was, how I would wait until my parents went to bed (I live with them because fuck this economy) and then go around the house looking for candy, I could eat an entire bag of chips in one night, and one night ate so much candy to the point I got sick and vomited.

I told them that once I started Vyvance for my ADHD the issue improved quite a bit (turns out it's used to treat binge eating disorders), but now that I'm not on a SSRI my appetite and relationship with food is actually normal.

I'm not constantly thinking about food 24/7, I would actually feel full after eating a meal, and I'm no longer having extreme cravings for sugar and salty stuff. I don't have an obsession with taking all the candy in the house and eating it in one sitting, I can just... Leave it there and have some the next day.

I also mentioned that because of that, I've lost 50lbs and I no longer get out of breath just from going up the stairs, and my chronic ankle pain is SO much better to the point I barely notice it (I fucked it up when I was younger). I also no longer have high cholesterol, and when I go outside in the summer I don't feel like I'm going to die.

All of this was put under a cut, with a CW for eating disorders. The person I was talking to basically said "Holy shit thank you so much for letting me know"

I sort of forgot about it afterwards, but a few days later I went onto Discord and saw that the server was gone. I thought Discord was glitching out, but eventually messaged a friend (F20s) who's also in the server and asked her what was going on and if something happened to the server.

She said no, and was confused as to why I wasn't in it anymore. I didn't leave it on accident, it was just... Not there. She sent me an invite link, but it said the link was expired.

She messaged one of the mods (NB28) and asked them if anyone else was having problems joining the server/it disappearing, and they told her that I was permanently banned from the server.

She asked them why, and they said that I was banned for fatphobia and promoting an eating disorder.

She asked them how I was promoting an eating disorder (since I literally talked about recovering from one), and they said that it was because I was discussing weight loss as something positive, which I guess to them automatically = anorexia???

My friend, without me asking to, told me that she tore the mod a new one and called them a dumbfuck for thinking me no longer having binge eating issues and feeling healthier after losing weight is even close to promoting an eating disorder.

Context: My friend literally has anorexia, so she's familiar with how eating disorders work.

The mod then told her she and I are both fatphobic pieces of shit, and banned HER too. The mod in question has posted multiple selfies before, and they're not even fat. I'm like twice the size they are, even after losing weight.

AWTA or is the mod just on some kind of weird savior-complex powertrip?

What are these acronyms?

[gifsbysimplysonia]

I'm tired of crying but it's not gonna stop anytime soon. I feel like a judgment on my worth has been made and stuff like this sticks in my craw. Back in the early 2000s, someone who kicked me off their message board told me the reason was I "have an ego the size of the Titanic." That shit is going on my coffee can and this being my first layoff, I just feel like someone looked at what I did for almost 8 years and went, "yeah, we don't need any of that." And considering I JUST realized via therapy a few weeks ago that I've been managing "my team" (cuz I hate that 2 people is the literal smallest team that can exist) just without the resources, without management to assist us in day to day duties, without the title and without the pay. I'd been unhappy for years but the comfort and security outweighed that for me, not to mention I recruited my best friend a few years ago to work with me cuz that place was not giving me any help at all. Now I'm also feeling guilty cuz she's there, in the circus, by herself. But I told her she doesn't have to be me or do what I did cuz look where doing "all the extra things" she didn't know I was doing got me. I was weighed, measured and found wanting. All my work apps nuked off my phone literally 2 minutes after I was read a script and let go. No chance to say goodbye to anyone. And no one reaching out to me anyways. Almost 8 years of struggle, being told my authentic self wasn't good enough, working on being versions of myself that could be more palatable to those people, making decent money, getting to support my family, having insurance that made it possible for me to start therapy in 2020 and get my specialty shots to keep my stress induced hives and urticaria at bay...and it all went POOF so fast. The next day I had a box delivered to my doorstep to send back my laptop. Wild wild wild how I couldn't get anything I needed while an employee cuz of corporate bee ess but as soon as I was gone, damn did they move quick. I just...hope I stop crying soon. I'm well aware that I need to go through to grow through it but based on how I existed there for so many years, I'm upset with myself for caring this much and not being able to be aloof. This stings a lot. I did a wild amount of work by myself for so long, and then as half of a 2 person team too, and we never had help but I kept that shit running. I made sure I was as low maintenance as possible and not til I started therapy did I realize that was the wrong badge to wear and brag about. Now I know not to put my needs aside and be upfront and firm about my needs. I won't ever go above and beyond for an employer again (I say knowing full well I probably will cuz I was raised watching 2 parents do just that) if I can help it. I feel dumb. I feel lost. I'm super worried. I feel worthless. I know I'll get to the other side eventually but it's still fresh so the feelings haven't caught up yet. I had 96 sick hours that disappeared into the ether. Please take your sick time and your days off cuz, I'm very sorry to say, they think we are all replaceable. I'm wishing white light and blessings on anyone who made it through this stream of consciousness 🙏🏼🕯🤞🏼 and thank you for taking the time if you did.

[totallyexhausted]

Hirano/ Kagiura Headcannons:

Basically a shitpost list that won’t leave me... If anyone takes these, please tag me so I can read :) Some are long descriptions, some are short- it be like that. Also, I know some of these are already fics- I just like more :) Sorry it’s hella long... a lot of them are for Kagiura idk why probably because he’s the fucking sun…

- Hirano’s on a day trip or school trip and starts panicking when Kagiura (sick or hurt) stops texting him mid-day. He leaves class early or the discipline committee meeting early because he’s concerned. 

- Hanzawa (fucking love this guy- slightly worried he’s going to off himself though) walks into the meeting one day and asks Hirano if Kagiura was okay because he saw him get hurt while practicing or he didn’t look well earlier. 

- Sasaki getting Ill in the middle of the night and his sister looks after him because his parents don’t really seem that attentive. Might dabble on this… Sasaki being frigid towards her at first as he is in the manga but eventually he accepts the comfort, his sister (forgot her name) just wanting what’s best for her little brother his feelings be damned, remembering how he used to cling to her skirt when he was little but now that he’s a 6ft walking tower of angst, its rare to be able to care for him in such a childish manner… even rarer when he accepts.

- Hirano feeling like shit but helping Kagiura study anyway. Kagi looks up after finishing a problem to find Hirano nodding off, his head leaning against his hand, pencil still trapped between his fingers. The younger is quiet for a while and eventually Hirano rests his head either on his arm on the desk or Kagi’s shoulder. Later when Kagi tried to rouse him, he realizes Hirano has a fever which, after waking, the older brushes off and they go to bed. Kagi wakes up several hours later to Hirano crying out his name, his fever spiking, the older reaching for him for comfort. Basically Hirano gets sicker in the night and Kagi kicks himself because he should have been more forceful with the older boy like Hirano was with him; he should have forced him to take meds or check his temperature or sat with him for a bit to make sure he was actually okay- he should have done what Hirano would have- but anyway, Kagi takes care of Hirano throughout the night (this is his chance to show the older boy the love he receives, his chance to repay him) and Hirano kind of clings to him with a fevered delirium; vomiting, high fever, Hirano being clingy for once not that Kagi minds despite how freaked out he is…

- Hirano, possibly reflecting while caring for Kagi (in my mind Kagi pukes on him and Hirano is instantly caring mode instead of mad because he knows what it’s like to feel so horrible that there isn’t any warning before puking…), that he got really sick last year (16) while visiting his parents over break. He doesn’t remember much but he remembers eating dinner, or at least trying too; trying to convince his mom who asked if he felt well, that he was okay. He end up nodding off, his head leaning against his hand, chopsticks still tucked between fingers; he remembers his dad saying something before pressing his hand against his forehead, a soft curse following. He’s pulled up slightly but he remembers puking everywhere, the table, the floor, himself, and feeling so horrible and weak that he can barely comprehend his surroundings. He remembers his parent stripping him, his mother bathing him, his head leaning against his fathers shoulder, a cold rag on his forehead and the back of his neck… he remembers his mothers soft fingers running through his hair, washing away sweat and vomit, he remembers puking in the bath water and his father holding him up, telling him it’s okay son, just get it up. It’s okay…. Basically I have this new headcannon of Hirano getting really sick while visiting his parents while on break, him not wanting to worry them because they spend so little time together, and Hirano being a complete wreck but his parents are so gentle and kind (like he is with Kagi) and they take care of him…

- Hirano’s carrying a box to the council meeting (maybe with Miyano/ Sasaki) and notices Kagiura sitting on the ground outside, leaning against a bench, his head in his hands. He falters and turns to (M/S) to say he’ll be right back and goes over to see if Kagi is okay... basically Kagi was a dumbass and practiced in the heat and ended up with heat exhaustion. (I’m currently writing this): Small snippet/ ideas below: Hirano set his alarm for one hour. He had one hour to try and cool the younger boy off, for him to start sweating more, to regain the fluids he’d just puked up outside in the bushes- otherwise, the 17-year-old was calling for an ambulance.... Hirano hadn’t grown up in a big family like Kagiura… but he and his family were close. Nothing was ever embarrassing between them, even his parent’s public displays of affection never bothered him much as a child… Touching, hugging, comforting someone was always like a second nature to him. His parents had never chastised him, or embarrassed him, or left his side when he was hurt or sick or had nightmares; and they were always open with him, made sure they talked about and took into account his feelings, even from an early age… He was fond of him, that much was true… but he was also fond of his father, or his grandmother, or his friends. So the fondness he felt didn’t mean much; didn’t help deciphering the feelings the younger shared for him… didn’t make his situation any less confusing...

- Kagiura wakes up with a high fever; Hirano misses school to take care of him. Basically, Kagi gets worse throughout the day- Hirano keeps Hanzawa posted because the other boy keeps checking to see if the nurse is available but she isn’t.... “Hi-ra?” The cry startled Hirano as he glanced up from his book, biting his bottom lip. He scooted towards the edge of the bed, placing his book on the nightstand, glancing towards his alarm clock. Hanzawa should be texting him soon to let him know if the nurse was still out.... otherwise, him and Hanzawa would need to take Kagi to A&E. His fever hadn’t spiked but now he was having trouble keeping things down beginning with the several spoonfuls of rice porridge Hirano had fed him earlier so he could give the younger boy more meds... “Hi...ra...” The whimper reached the 17-year-old’s ears, and he shot up, rushing towards Kagiura’s bed, dropping to his knees with a loud smack. He swallowed quickly, his fingers brushing the younger’s hair away from his face, his fingers connecting with the alarming heat present against dry flesh.... The younger boy reached a hand out blindly, and Hirano caught it, intertwining his fingers in the younger’s, his other hand carding through his sweaty hair.... idk y’all... Hirano lets Kagiura cling against him in hopes the younger boy would feel a little better--- maybe a bath? Idk man idk 

- Kagiura gets hurt during practice or a game and tries to play it off. Hirano tries to help put he doesn’t want to be pushy... basically Kagi either accepts the help or, trying to establish himself from Hirano, still tries to convey he’s fine until he isn’t. 

- Kagiura gets a concussion during practice or a game. 

- Kagiura or Hirano or Sasaki feeling faint (for whatever reason, maybe fighting an illness or headache or medical thing or whatever), and their nose starts bleeding, and they quickly tell whoever they’re around to “...go get Hirano/ Kagiura/ Miyano (their significant other)” before passing out. 

- Kagiura stress eats (book) so like if he get stressed and ends up nauseous and with a stomachache.

- Kagiura gets into a fight during a game (the opposing player started it)... or he gets into a fight during school which Hirano breaks up. Bonus points if Hirano freaks (like Kagi is seriously hurt or out) and Sasaki has to pull Hirano off the “bully.”

- Kagiura goes down during a game- dealer’s choice; Hirano freaks. Or Kagi vomits during a game. 

- Kagiura gets sick in the middle of the night. Hirano wakes up to the unpleasant sounds of retching... 

- Miyano or Sasaki crashing/ interrupting a council meeting because something’s wrong with Kagi (either Miyano stayed with the younger boy because he’s more gentle than Sasaki or Sasaki stayed because if Kagiura needed to go somewhere or if he stood up and then dropped, Sasaki would be the only one able to hold up the 6′2″ teenager). Kagiura’s sick but he tried so damn hard to hide it because it’s not Hirano’s job to care for him, and it just makes his rejection harder, and... 

- Sasaki dragging a drunk Hirano back to the dorms one night (keep in mind, Hirano can supposedly hold his alcohol so like did he drink a fucking bar?). Hirano’s not great with processing his feelings, or Kagi’s feelings... or whatever. Kagiura is amused but takes care of him because he’s never seen his roommate be an idiot before. 

- Sasaki getting drunk one night and acting like an idiot with Ogasawara and Hirano. Bonus points if Miyano shows up randomly, like he ran into Hirano and Sasaki trying to find their way back home or something- Ogasawara’s GF picked him up (I’m tiny writing this- its a flashback in my other fic) :) 

- Hirano comes back to the dorms one night, bloodied and bruised... he got into a fight (dealer’s choice). 

- Kagiura knew something was wrong when Hirano didn’t wake him up... Hirano sick. 

- Hirano waking up one morning to wake up Kagi to find the teenager’s bed empty, the bathroom light on (pretty sure they share a floor bathroom like in university but for the sake of the fic, they have their own); he waits a few minutes before knocking... he waits a little longer after hearing no answer to see if it was okay to come in... basically, Kagi’s sick. 

- Kagiura’s muscles hurt after a strenuous practice or game; he’s having a hard time doing simple tasks and it’s stupid and frustrating and he doesn’t want to tell Hirano but he really wants to shower because he smells like sweat but he can’t get his stupid shirt over his head. Bonus points if he has several bruises or swollen muscles in his wrist or something from the rigorous physical activity. Kagi’s a dedicated player who can work through pain. 

- Kagiura gets a really bad migraine one evening after practice, and he really wants Hirano to leave him be or to shut the light off or stop tapping his pencil because the sound is going to kill him. His nose starts bleeding because that’s a thing that sometimes just happens.... 

- Hirano gets headache from staring at his phone all day (Sasaki says it was bound to happen). He stops texting Kagiura halfway through the day because he can’t take it and all he wants to do is get through the remaining classes (he doesn’t make it- probably heads to the nurse or just heads back to the dorms), and Kagiura shows up (either to his class, the nurse or the dorms) to check on him. 

- Hirano doesn’t go to one of Kagiura’s games despite going to pretty much everyone, and Kagiura thinks about it the whole time... possibly getting hurt because he’s distracted. He goes back to the dorms (Hirano is either exhausted, hurt or sick). 

- Kagiura pushing through a practice or game before coming back to the dorms and getting sick. Hirano scolds him for being stupid; but Kagiura didn’t want to let his teammates down.

- Sasaki getting motion sickness on the train one morning (perhaps they are going to a BL thing) with Miyano, and Miyano caring. Sasaki knows its lame and gross and he’s sorry because this is stupid... but sometimes the meds don’t work, and why is the convention/ thing so far away? 

- Miyano eating something super sweet either because Sasaki made it or it was a special event (Sasaki’s sister’s wedding, graduation, etc) and it makes him sick; he can’t tolerate sweet stuff well... 

- Hirano getting sick one day and pushing through it. Kagi pulls him aside while practicing to “interrogate” him; Hirano ends up passing out or worse and Kagi walks or carries him to the nurse. 

- When Miyano asked Hirano if he had a good weekend, he wasn’t expecting this response: “Yeah, I guess. My roommate got sick Friday after practice so I basically spent all of Saturday taking care of him...” Miyano’s BL fantasies go wild and Sasaki asks if Kagiura was okay. Hirano looks up from his phone, pausing, “Yeah, he’s better now. I told him I’d kick his ass if i saw him or heard he was at school today... scared the shit out of me though. Especially when me and Hanzawa had to take him to A&E Saturday night because the damn kid couldn’t keep anything down and his fever spiked...” 

- Sasaki eating something spicy or drink a hot beverage (not wanting to be rude, maybe a meet the parent’s type of situation which would be embarrassing, or he just doesn’t want to offend someone like Miyano or something) and it doesn’t not abode well for him because his stomach hurts... maybe Miyano knows something’s wrong but doesn’t think too much of it until he sees Sasaki home... 

- Sasaki and Miyano know each other well enough to know when something’s wrong. 

- Hirano and Kagiura know each other well enough to know when something's wrong. 

- Sasaki has a nightmare and his sister comforts him for once. 

- Hirano trades food with Kagiura like he does most nights because the younger doesn’t like what he got (don’t know if anyone noticed in vol. 1 of HtK, Hirano orders something he knew Kagiura liked just for this reason), and either he or Kagi end up with food poisoning which makes the other feel bad because of the trade... 

- Hirano has a panic attack or anxiety attack from being stressed about grades and next year, etc. Kagiura helps. 

- Kagiura has an anxiety or panic attack about the upcoming game because he’s exhausted and overworked but this is the last game of the season and if he can’t do well, like he feels about the previous game, he’s worried about his future on the team. Hirano helps and reminds him that he’s a great player despite not feeling like it... 

- Kagiura, Hirano, Miyano, or Sasaki during a depressive episode. 

- Kagiura, Hirano, Miyano, or Sasaki running themselves into the ground from exhaustion and stress from exams. 

- Sasaki has allergies and they really fucking suck. 

- Hirano being overworked and stressed and freaking out over something so small. Or fighting a migraine because he needs to study (despite having really good grades)... Kagiura puts him to bed. 

Okay, don’t come at me because of this because this is normally not something I think about but for some reason... 

- Sasaki having something where his muscles clench up (like a seizure; hospital not usually required) for several minutes (it takes a while for his body to regain control over his muscles again, starting with his fingers twitching or his legs spazzing or something, and he’s exhausted/ dehydrated after because it’s like working out non-stop before collapsing- his body uses a huge source of energy to fight against him), and he can’t move and it’s painful and like it’s rare, but it happens when he’s really exhausted or stressed... it only happened twice in high school (in front of other people besides his family), (stems from childhood like an actual medical condition), once in class (he fell from his seat) which freaked everyone out; another time with Miyano/ Hirano (who by now knew what to do)... and now... It started with his hands... His head resting against Miyano’s thigh, his eyelids growing heavy as the BL anime in front of him slowly begins to drift away, Miyano’s fingers carding through his hair slowly. God, he was so fucking tired. Between exams and helping his family in the bakery more, it was nice to have quiet moments like this with his boyfriend. He was almost asleep when he felt it; the sharp pain flicked against his fingers, and he made a small noise as Miyano’s fingers paused momentarily. But the pain was gone as soon as it started... his mind drifting again, the hushed voices of the television fading. His leg tensed, pain eating up his calf, and he whimpered, clenching his eyes tightly as the muscles in his arms tightened. Miyano’s fingers moved to his arm, trying to rub away the inevitable as his soft voice reached Sasaki’s ears. The older yelped again as his body curled in on himself, the muscles in his back, arms and legs ridging, clenching tightly... 

- Or Kagiura has the same thing as described above; Hirano’s been through this before with him, so he doesn’t panic much when the younger whimpers in his sleep, pulling the older from his studies. Hirano glances up, an eyebrow raised as Kagiura yelps again, and the older cusses as he throws his textbook aside... 

- Or Kagiura has one of these during a game or practice and someone runs to get Hirano, either because Kagi told them to right before he went down (you can feel it coming or he gets a nosebleed or something) or because they figured his roommate would know what was happening or what to do.

Like I said, usually not my forte so idk what my mind is currently tapped on... but don’t come after me... 

Idk, I’ll add more if I think of more but feel free to add more or take, just tag because I love reading :) 

[punkscowardschampions]

Sylke final & Slaggie & Sick Kids

Sylvie: [me like hmm, how are we cockblocking y’all, might have your parents drive past you and see you running with your school bag on a weekend no less, like, hello? and thus you gotta go with them because you’re clearly up to something suspect lol, so give her longer than it would take her to show up clearly and no response/no show]

Jake: What happened to you?

Sylvie: I’m sorry, my damn parents saw me

Jake: What did you say?

Sylvie: I’m not saying anything, I am mortified at their attempts to be nice about all this

Jake: Should I come over and talk to them?

Sylvie: And tell them what? We were going to leave the country

Jake: I don’t know, enough truth they’re satisfied with it without outing our entire plan

Sylvie: It’s okay, I’m just not going to make it, that’s the not okay part but I looked too suspicious, whatever I’m not saying

Jake: I didn’t buy the tickets yet, we’ll try again another time

Sylvie: I’m really sorry

Sylvie: I’m mad, again

Jake: It’s not your fault, it was my meeting spot, I should’ve picked somewhere else, nearer the airport and away from everyone we know

Sylvie: We’ll get it right next time

Jake: Lesson learned, it’ll go without a hitch

Sylvie: I feel like this was my fault

Jake: It wasn’t, and I swear I don’t blame you

Sylvie: As long as you don’t, I’ll get over the rest

Jake: We’ll plan better, make sure nothing can stop us

Sylvie: They can’t keep treating me like I’m a normal kid when we’ve found out I’m not

Jake: They haven’t caught up to us, they’re still coming from a place of wanting you to be and everything to be like it was

Sylvie: I don’t know how to deal with them being so far behind, everyone, it’s driving me insane

Jake: We won’t let it hold us back

Jake: I’ll come ‘round later, bring everything you were most looking forward to about Paris with me

Sylvie: I don’t deserve you

Sylvie: but my family absolutely doesn’t deserve [the food and drink y’all discussed] so they’re not invited

Jake: If they get a song written about them right now it’s probably not one I’ll play for them either

Sylvie: 😏

Sylvie: It would blow their minds, I think, hearing how you think of me

Jake: It blows mine how you are

Sylvie: I will have to get better at being deceptive though, note to self

Jake: You can practise by sneaking me in

Sylvie: Come on, I’m pretty good at that already

Jake: Pretty good meant we had to stop at [wherever they got to in fucking all over the house before we said they got caught/thought they were]

Sylvie: And that was your fault, I remember vividly

Jake: I don’t think so, I remember you [vividly just relive her being loud and feral, we know the vibes]

Sylvie: Yes and that was entirely down to you

Jake: [blame her back by being like I did that because you did xyz feral thing to me beforehand, we’re just having a lovely time remembering to cheer y’all since Paris was thwarted, and we love a loop to get stuck in] 

Sylvie: [do it back, obvs, like and I only did that because you were- pop off girls]

Jake: [shamelessly keep that going until y’all are literally at the start and there’s nowhere to go and nothing left to relive, we know what y’all are like]

Sylvie: You should stay

Jake: There’s no reason not to, at home everyone’s mad at me

Sylvie: Are you waiting for them to catch up too or trying to make it right?

Jake: I don’t know what to do

Sylvie: No, it’s trickier than my situation

Jake: Some of my friends are [somewhere in town he can get to from where he was], I guess I’ll hang out until my sister’s ready to pick me up, and I’ll talk to her then, but I’m running out of shit to say

Sylvie: She’ll process this break up eventually, it’s a bit rich that she’s taking more time than China herself but you know

Jake: Apparently she doesn’t like who I’m turning into, whatever that means

Sylvie: Literally, what does that mean…

Jake: Maybe she’ll calm down when we go to school, I know my mother will, she thinks that’ll solve everything

Sylvie: We can let them think that, until we leave

Sylvie: if it gets everyone off your back

Jake: When are your parents sending you back, is it still [however many days she has left of the week off she was taking for Sam gate]?

Sylvie: Yeah

Sylvie: I’ll be there for you Monday, I know it’s going to be awkward

Jake: I can’t decide if reaching out and talking to China before would make things better or worse than having to sit in [whatever lesson you have with her first] and just see her

Sylvie: I think it’ll just be as bad as it’s going to be, whatever you say or do

Sylvie: so, flip a coin almost, you know?

Jake: Yeah

Sylvie: What would you say, do you know?

Jake: Fuck you, that’s what I wanna say, but there’s no point to it

Sylvie: You’re allowed

Sylvie: sometimes people need to hear it, what they’ve done, it would allow her to level her own shit at you too

Jake: I don’t know where to start, I can’t believe she’s been with him this whole time

Sylvie: Just because you deserve a why, you may not get one, but you can try

Jake: Even less about my life makes sense if she’s not who I thought she was and it’s mixed up enough, I don’t want to hear that I was wrong

Sylvie: Yeah, I get that

Jake: I’ll ask my friends, the ones who really know her, what they think and hope they aren’t telling me what they assume I wanna hear

Sylvie: I’ll let you go so you can talk to them properly

Jake: Let me know when you’re cool to sneak me into yours

Jake: [the time that your poor sister is free to chauffeur your ass around, cos clearly any time from then, being the vibe]

Sylvie: ‘Course

Sylvie: what do you want me to do, if she talks to me?

Jake: What do you want to do?

Sylvie: Depends what she says, I suppose

Jake: I won’t force you to give my chain back if you don’t behave every second you’re wearing it, I’m not a monster

Sylvie: No, you’re not

Sylvie: and I certainly don’t intend on being perfect

Jake: It looks too good on you not to let you keep wearing it

Sylvie: I’ll only wear it Monday if you want me to

Jake: I do, and my jacket, it’ll make us both feel better about having to be at school

Sylvie: I’m going to have to give you something to remember me by in [the lessons y’all don’t have together]

Jake: You’ve got [a countdown to the time he said earlier about getting picked up] to think of your something

Sylvie: Narrowing down what you’d look good in is impossible but I’m on it

Jake: I don’t mind trying things on for you, if that’ll help

Sylvie: Here he goes, being motivational again

Jake: Being the boyfriend you deserve is important to me

Sylvie: I hate sharing you with the world, especially [the school]

Sylvie: staying in bed is always going to be the better idea

Jake: [the teacher who stopped him when he was trying to check on her the first ever time] isn’t guarding all your classes

Jake: tell me you miss me and I’ll show up

Sylvie: How wasn’t that years ago?

Sylvie: it feels like it

Jake: It explains feeling older than all my friends now I’m here

Sylvie: I feel like everyone's got infinitely more annoying since this all went down

Sylvie: How do I interact with people that aren’t you, again?

Jake: When I work it out, you’ll be first to know

Sylvie: I’m proud of you, even if I want nothing more than to monopolise your time and thoughts 

Jake: It’s really hard, but I do want you to be proud of me

Sylvie: I want to tell my parents I’m your girlfriend just so I get to say the word to someone

Jake: Tell them, you are

Sylvie: They’d be irresponsible parents if they didn’t let you stay ‘round more then, have to keep an eye

Jake: We’ll probably have to keep your bedroom door halfway open

Sylvie: That’s okay, there’s a lot that we can do only halfway visible

Jake: Loads of things

Sylvie: We’ve done more entirely exposed

Jake: You’re really good at being motivational

Sylvie: It was my turn

Sylvie: and I’m in my room so I’m thinking about when you’ll be here too

Jake: I’m thinking I should be there already

Sylvie: I miss you like crazy

Jake: The only thing keeping me vaguely sane’s that they all want to talk about you

Sylvie: Do I want to know?

Jake: It’s cool, I swear, they loved the song

Jake: I mean, they’d be dumb not to, it’s my best

Sylvie: It was perfect

Sylvie: a hard act to follow, I don’t think anyone paid attention to… whoever went on stage after you

Jake: You’re a perfect muse, I’ve never been this inspired before

Jake: I wrote half a song on the way to meet them

Sylvie: You won’t show them before me, will you

Jake: It’s for you

Sylvie: I’m for you, I don’t care what anyone says

Jake: You should be sat with me listening to what they say, it sucks you’re not

Sylvie: On Monday, I’ll be good and be social, I wanna get to know your friends better than I do

Jake: Let’s have everyone over, your friends and mine

Jake: [a day/time when your poor mother is clearly working late and won’t know about this cool kid party, it’s giving literally monday after school tbh like they need it after going back because such is the level they don’t want to and obvs he wants to get to know her friends too]

Sylvie: That’s a brilliant idea, bring everyone to us

Sylvie: everyone will be satisfied we’re trying but we can still go off to a dark corner whenever we need 

Jake: Do you want to go shopping tomorrow? I feel bad you didn’t get to before [the cool kid event]

Sylvie: With you? Obviously

Jake: Cool

Sylvie: I’ll try on anything you pick out, as a treat for tolerating the rest I also do

Jake: Anything?

Sylvie: Yes, Jake

Jake: Deal

Sylvie: Now you better concentrate on what’s being said about me

Jake: And you better find something for me to remember you by on Monday

Sylvie: I’ve already thought of what I’ll give you

Jake: Tell your parents about me instead then

Sylvie: Right this second?

Jake: While I’m concentrating, at least

Sylvie: Okay, that is fair

Sylvie: how do I make it less blatant I’ve been touching myself thinking about you?

Jake: Take a shower you can touch yourself as much as you like in, but you come out looking like nothing happened, it’s what I’d do

Sylvie: but you can’t, I’ll stop being mean and I won’t tell you anything else about my shower

Jake: That’s meaner

Sylvie: You can tell your friends I’m teasing you if you have to

Sylvie: [send him a picture of you about to get in the shower that shows you’re just wearing this chain without being a nude]

Jake: I have to tell my friends I’ve got somewhere else to be

Jake: they’ll understand, what you’ve just sent me is an album cover

Sylvie: You’ve got work to do

Jake: Not without my muse

Sylvie: I want to make art with you

Jake: I’ll make art of you

Jake: and all over you

Sylvie: I don’t want the shower to wash it away, record it

Sylvie: you only cum in me, it feels too good

Jake: The shower can’t wash away everything

Sylvie: Everyone at the gig knew, it’s so obvious

Jake: [a picture of his lovebites, as if he’s not with his friends rn, excuse him everyone]

Sylvie: Mine

Jake: Yours

Sylvie: [sending him an insta post where the thigh lovebites are peeping casually]

Jake: Mine

Sylvie: Yours

Jake: Say you miss me so I can leave

Sylvie: [voice note say it]

Jake: Stay in the shower, your parents’ll let me in

Sylvie: You’re such a nice boy, of course they will

Jake: The nicest

Sylvie: they’ll send you upstairs like I’m not waiting for you with my legs spread

Jake: They like me almost as much as you do

Sylvie: Then they’ll let me go on birth control so you can keep fucking me raw in their house

Jake: You’re not on it

Sylvie: I got the morning after pill, my auntie went for me, it’s cool

Jake: I didn’t even think, obviously you’re not, why would you be?

Sylvie: I wanna be, I’ve got it under control, you don’t need to think about it

Jake: I don’t want it to fuck you up, my sister says it does

Sylvie: There’s different kinds, right, I’ll find one that works

Jake: I’d take it for us if that was a thing but nobody has figured that out yet

Sylvie: I know, you’re sweet

Jake: It’s my responsibility too, I know that, but I’ve never needed to take any before

Sylvie: Don’t, it’s boring, I don’t want us to change

Jake: Your parents will sort it, like you said

Sylvie: An injection, a pill, whatever it is, it’s nothing to keep doing what we want

Jake: What’s some more boring medical shit, yeah? We’re already dealing with it, appointments, pills and whatever else doctors decide we need

Sylvie: Exactly

Sylvie: it’s nothing compared to the shit we’re on, whatever horror stories people have

Jake: I’m sorry I forgot though, that wasn’t cool of me

Sylvie: Debatable

Jake: You know what I mean, I care what happens to you, I should’ve thought about it

Sylvie: Thanks

Sylvie: I don’t really know what else to say

Jake: I don’t wanna embarrass you by turning this into a whole thing, wouldn’t be cool either

Sylvie: You aren’t

Sylvie: it’s way too late for me to have shame around you anyway, yeah

Jake: I just really do care about you

Sylvie: I care about you too, I’m not looking to make your life more messy

Jake: I know you wouldn’t

Sylvie: We want the same things

Jake: Yeah, we’ve got the same dreams

Sylvie: Who’d have guessed

Jake: And I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone

Sylvie: That’s mutual, if that wasn’t obvious

Jake: To everyone, while I was playing your song for you and anywhere else we’ve been or are going to go

Sylvie: We can’t help it

Jake: Since our first time I haven’t been able to

Sylvie: I’m not going to apologise for wanting to be around you, if anyone expects it, they’ll have to keep waiting

Jake: My friends maybe do for how abruptly I walked off, but they can wait too, I need you not them

Sylvie: I’ll consider sending a blanket sorry for that but only after I’ve seen you

Jake: Monday’ll fix it

Sylvie: I better invite my cousin too, if we’re talking of fixes

Jake: You can stay mad at her if you want, I’m the pacifist

Sylvie: She’s judging me but she won’t say it, I don’t know how to get past that, like with your sister and you, there isn’t a solution

Jake: Reach out but don’t get too in your head about how it goes, if she’s that judgmental she’s not coming to mine anyway

Sylvie: Maybe she won’t want to, who knows

Sylvie: I’ll reach out, like you said

Jake: My sister takes things out on me that aren’t about me, or are, but it’s not the thing she’s yelling about at the time

Jake: your cousin could be doing that

Sylvie: She just doesn’t agree with cheating

Sylvie: unless China is doing it, I guess, then it’s fine

Jake: Neither did I

Sylvie: As if we set out to do that

Jake: I’ll try and give her a better impression of me, if she does come Monday

Sylvie: It is what it is, you’re not going anywhere until we are, she can get used to it

Jake: I can get her to like me

Sylvie: Can you?

Jake: Yeah

Sylvie: I’m not taking up the challenge

Jake: All you have to do is believe in me

Sylvie: I mean your sister is never going to like me

Jake: It isn’t your fault that she’s stopped liking me

Sylvie: A little bit though

Jake: It happened when I got the diagnosis not when we got together, you didn’t get a chance

Sylvie: She probably feels like she didn’t protect you

Sylvie: irrational though that is

Jake: Totally irrational and totally accurate

Sylvie: She’s got to blame you for how mad and dumb this all makes her feel

Sylvie: at least you see it, you don’t have to hold it against her when she finally gets with it

Jake: I might let her visit us in Paris when she does

Sylvie: Be tourists for a weekend

Jake: It’d be cool

Sylvie: Yeah

Sylvie: We’ll plan properly, make sure we get there

Jake: We don’t have to rush, I freaked out a bit but I’m okay now

Sylvie: Warranted, all things considered

Jake: You’ve been the coolest again today

Sylvie: A bad habit, I guess

Jake: I don’t know how I’ll ever get used to being supported the way you do

Sylvie: You went to [the class she wasn’t in the day of the Sam drama], before anything

Sylvie: I’m only returning the favour

Jake: It’s like, for all my mother and sister’s feminist leanings, my role is still toxically masculine

Jake: I’m meant to be strong for everyone, however I feel

Sylvie: Who wants to be a burden? No one

Sylvie: but you can’t be to me

Jake: With you’s the only time I’m not stressed out

Sylvie: Me too

Sylvie: I barely think about it, the shit I spend the rest of my time thinking about

Jake: Yeah, that’s it exactly

Jake: it basically goes away

Sylvie: You’re the cure

Jake: I’m yours and you’re mine

Sylvie: You’re mine and I’m yours

Jake: [me like show up please sir before you say anything more extra, I love that you blatantly got a bus or something despite what you said to China about them being a waste of money cos worth it to you now and I also love that you’re shamelessly gonna get in this shower with her, no fucks given]

Sylvie: [just y’all living your best lives once again, can only be so sad about your Paris thwarting for so long]

Jake: [soz not soz Tomeena who are in because they let him in and had a nice lil convo with him before he ran up the stairs lol, maybe her brother too who defs also could be, at least your hater sister isn’t because she has her close friend group and is either out with them or at one of their houses rn, y’all are welcome]

Sylvie: Do you want to come over Jake’s on Monday after school? [then list who is going to be there, giving mutual friends, obvs not just like everyone lol]

Maggie: I’ll be there, ‘course

Sylvie: Cool

Sylvie: Are we good then? 

Maggie: Are we? I’m in the wrong, do you seriously forgive us?

Sylvie: I guess I’ve been talking about nothing but him, you weren’t wrong about that

Maggie: You weren’t with your read of me, or the nerve wouldn’t have been touched that made us fly off

Sylvie: I’m not praying for her downfall

Maggie: I know

Sylvie: It just makes me think you think I actively intended to ‘steal her man’ or whatever when I didn’t even like him and you know that

Maggie: I didn’t mean to come down that heavy on her side, I’m happy for you, and you can’t steal nobody, whoever goes is after going, like

Maggie: honest, it wasn’t about you or Jacob Cohen, I was troubling myself over [the lad she fancied who did not show up to this cool kid event hence her calling him a saint and a good boy before lol] and his bother for a curfew, even though he didn’t make no promises to us and I had my mates there who are, any day, better craic, so’s the fucked priorities you called out are showing themselves there

Maggie: then something else, bigger, I’ve been busying myself with I’ve not told you of and what you said about all the hero shite had me doubting if I’m doing it for the decent reasons I reckoned or you’re right

Sylvie: What’s the bigger something?

Maggie: I’ve been visiting my nanny more than the weekly go with my daddy since [whenever Sylvie nearly died]

Maggie: she’d for sure not piss on me if I was on fire, on a good day she thinks I’m [one of Johnny’s sisters] and on the rest she’s not to know us from one of the girls who works with her

Sylvie: Why do you think you’re doing it, going to see her, like?

Maggie: Maybe I’m that arsehole and it’s to make myself feel better, but when I took myself it was cos we don’t none of us know how long we’ve got, do we? She might not be here tomorrow or I might not and we’re the only visitors she gets, for what, an hour or the half of?

Sylvie: I think it would make most people feel worse, that’s usually what I hear so

Sylvie: by default, it sounds like you’re doing it for the right reasons

Maggie: All to say, I’m sorry I acted up how I did

Sylvie: Well, if I’d known any of this, I would have chosen my words more carefully too so

Sylvie: let’s call it even

Maggie: Nobody does, in fairness

Sylvie: Not your parents?

Maggie: Not how often I’ve gone

Sylvie: They may worry about your sanity

Sylvie: God knows mine act like everything I do is some coded cry for help now 

Maggie: Right

Maggie: but at least yours’ll be buzzing the boy’s the sort he is

Sylvie: Sounds like [her crush boy] is even 😇

Sylvie: If you can convince him to leave his house every once in a while 

Maggie: I can’t with a lad like that, I swear, he’s to look at us how Jake looked at you up on that stage or he’s not to at all

Sylvie: I had a feeling you’d say that

Sylvie: but I get it, you can’t settle, it doesn’t work

Maggie: How’s [crush boy] to run away with or put a baby in us if he’s too set on minding his ma and her word’s final? Nah

Sylvie: You’ll have to find yourself a boy like your da

Sylvie: Boys are terrified of babies until they’re like 30, normal ones

Maggie: I’d get myself down the site but there’s no telling which I’m related to

Sylvie: Um, all of them? That’s how it’s done, is it not

Maggie: True enough 😏

Sylvie: Not that our family is living all that differently sometimes 🤮

Maggie: We’re the start, someone has to be

Sylvie: I bet our parents said the same 

Sylvie: and to be fair, one thing right there, well done 

Maggie: Give ‘em that 👏

Sylvie: The bar is in hell 🤪

Maggie: You’ve found heaven though, everybody in a room together Monday giving you and JC your chances to sneak off

Sylvie: I do have to beat the homewrecker allegations with his friends 

Sylvie: but I don’t think that means I have to play hostess all night, nah 

Maggie: Loads of his friends are a hang away from keys in a bowl, amount of swapping I’ve heard they do between themselves

Sylvie: 😷🙃 I’m good

Maggie: Me too, like

Sylvie: Are there any you think are cute though?

Maggie: [drop those peeps because you’re 12, of course there are, tis your boy crazy era]

Sylvie: Then you’re so welcome

Sylvie: I’ll give you a suitable introduction

Maggie: Oh will you now?

Maggie: I can intro myself, you know

Sylvie: You have an in, why not take it?

Maggie: Yeah, my outfit’ll do the chatting, as always

Sylvie: What’s the plan?

Maggie: I’ve to think, which of them lads am I dressing for?

Sylvie: 🤘 or ✌️

Maggie: Something like that

Sylvie: I’m going shopping but Jake is taking me

Sylvie: you aren’t going to want to third wheel that

Maggie: Ah no, I’ll get dressed without showing my face in [the shops you know these cool kids are going]

Maggie: mammy’s wardrobe’ll have just the thing if mine don’t

Sylvie: No doubt

Maggie: I’m on it

Sylvie: I might have to lift my outfit from [this cool kid establishment]

Maggie: I could get yous a discount but it’s only the standard staff 20%

Sylvie: I’m trying to save up right now, that’s all

Maggie: Leave the tags on, I’ll take it back for you Tuesday

Maggie: unless you’re after keeping it for the memories of yours and Jake’s first couple hang 🥰

Sylvie: God, that sounds cringe 🤦‍♀️🥴

Maggie: Sure, but I would

Sylvie: I don’t know if this is who I am

Maggie: He’s your first, it’s alright to lose yourself a bit, under and over him

Sylvie: Maybe a bit but

Sylvie: It’d be pretty rich if I lost my personality, I can’t let that happen, don’t you let it happen either

Maggie: You’re not her and we’re not saying he has that effect on ALL the girls as a blanket statement, like

Sylvie: When I’m back at school, I’ll be forced to have thoughts that aren’t about him, that should work

Maggie: School hasn’t forced us to have one thought ever I didn’t already want to, good luck with that

Sylvie: Hmm, you’ve got a point

Maggie: Don’t let my shots fired put you off, thinking about him isn’t some great big sin, nor’s talking about the lad

Sylvie: Being dull is

Sylvie: we should hang one night, just us

Maggie: Okay

Sylvie: Just tell me when you wanna, you can come here, or I’ll trek

Maggie: How’s [a day that I won’t commit us to] for you? I’ll 🚲 to yours from [something you’re doing, cos you’re always doing things is the vibe]

Sylvie: Cool

Sylvie: I’ll get [something that is her favourite whether that’s food or renting a movie, whatever]

Maggie: And I’ll bring [one of her faves so it’s mutual]

Sylvie: ❤️

Maggie: 💞

Members List: 

gotspoons [Mod] (Rosie, 17, Chronic Fatigue)

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously [Mod] (Rich, 18, Multiple Sclerosis)

brainpain (Lauren, 19, TBI)

tigerbalm (Robyn, 15, Arthritis)

sonmychest (Kara, 13, Cystic Fibrosis) 

princemyshkin [New Member!] (Jake, 14, Epilepsy)

ihatemyguts [New Member!] (Sylvie, 14, Ulcerative Colitis) 

injectme [New Member!] (‘Denis’, ‘14’ = Margot, 12, ‘Diabetes Type 1’)

injectme: I’m new, I don’t know if the rules are I announce that and do some cringe intro, like at school, or what happens? 🙃

gotspoons: 😊 Welcome, welcome, always good to see a new face! 

gotspoons: and you are totally free to intro (or not) yourself however you see fit, there’s certainly no hard and fast rule there

injectme: Wait, I don’t have to show my face, do I? I thought this was anon

gotspoons: Some of the group has shared their real name but no, you’re free to be your username and whatever you choose to share with us

tigerbalm: OMG! There’s SO many new people atm! 👋 I’m Robyn but yeah, you don’t have to tell us, like Rosie said 😸  we’re glad you’re here, that’s all

gotspoons: 👋 Exactly, truly no pressure, we swear

gotspoons: How are you feeling today, what made you decide to sign up and on? 

injectme: I’ve been debating doing it for a while, going back and forth

injectme: the time feels right, my friends don’t understand what’s happening for me, and my family, the less said the better about them

gotspoons: There is a certain level of understanding that only people in the same boat can give, I think

gotspoons: I’d say that’s the ethos behind this group, even if we don’t all suffer the exact same symptoms, the experiences and feelings are often shared

tigerbalm: Agreed, my parents can be A LOT, they’re super strict & I don’t have friends anywhere else, but I’ve found them here 😻

sonmychest: Aw, Robs 💜💜💜

sonmychest: It’s real though, it’s cool to be able to come in here and know you’re not going to get one of two looks for whatever you have to say 🤨😬

injectme: I’ve been getting more than my fair share of those looks lately 🛸

sonmychest: People think they’re SO stealthy with it too, like

injectme: My sister isn’t with anything, she could pick a fight in an empty room

tigerbalm: I used to beg for a sister, but now idk, I’m not so sure tbh 😹

brainpain: I regularly feel like unaliving mine 🔪🔪  can’t lie

brainpain: + hiya new newbie

sonmychest: I’m so lucky mine is a they and not a nightmare, obvs, damn

sonmychest: Sister hate support group though, I approve

injectme: Oh, I’m a they too, that should’ve been in my intro

sonmychest: Cool, as long as you don’t mind how overwhelming she/her this group is

sonmychest: we have… is it like 2 active he/hims at last count guys?

injectme: I don’t, I’m still a she/her to most people

sonmychest: People you can’t be bothered having the convo with? Yeah, relatable

injectme: It’s a weird convo to have, sometimes I feel like a she, want to look like one 🎀 and everything, sometimes I feel the complete opposite

sonmychest: It’s all performative anyway, right? 

sonmychest: Why not choose, if that’s how you feel

injectme: But different mes on different days of the same week doesn’t help the 👽 or imposter syndrome in every room, if that’s even the term

sonmychest: Some people seem so sure

sonmychest: 🎀s all the way, all the time

tigerbalm: Sorry, that’s me 🎀

gotspoons: Guilty… 

brainpain: 🌈 but

brainpain: can relate if we move onto getting with girls

brainpain: still am 1 though ✌️

sonmychest: lol, this convos taken a hard left

brainpain: my bad 😝 there I go making everything queer again 

brainpain: none of yous breathe a word to my future husband (unless he’s into it)

sonmychest: That’s definitely giving #yesallmen

sonmychest: limited as my experience is

brainpain: you’ll summon him with a political # in my experience

brainpain: 🤞😍🤞

tigerbalm: Wow 🙀 you guys make me seem SO boring in comparison 

gotspoons: No one’s identity is any better than anyone else’s, you can be as proud of yourself, Robyn

tigerbalm: Thanks 😻 I’ll try

gotspoons: And no one here would want to invalidate you, I’m sure

tigerbalm: Everyone here’s the best, ILYSM all of you

brainpain: ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍

brainpain: couldn’t resist

sonmychest: allies deserve love too, babe 😽

injectme: I came in serious, should’ve been in my intro as well

sonmychest: soz newbie, we are capable, honestly

brainpain: I was about to come in aggy like speak for yourself Kara 💥👊

brainpain: but LOL nah we can

sonmychest: lmao post up 

sonmychest: Rich would deffo show to break it up

brainpain: if only 🥺

brainpain: out here living like a war wife

sonmychest: watch that horizon, so cute

brainpain: every 🚂 that’s every film or tv ref I’ve got

gotspoons: Oh, I love The Railway Children

brainpain: shout daddy at him he’ll come speeding to me

gotspoons: Please don’t taint the wholesome memories for me 

😫

brainpain: oops

ihatemyguts: This feels like you rubbed a lamp for a genie and a fairy godmother popped up in a cloud of smoke instead but lol

ihatemyguts: lurking has been amusing me in [a boring lesson you’re evidently in]

brainpain: story of my life

ihatemyguts: 💔

brainpain: + where have you been? lost your 🍒 newest newbie status it’s that long

ihatemyguts: That is devastating, like

ihatemyguts: already - points for not being a boy

ihatemyguts: my absence has been for fun, not health-related reasons though, don’t worry

tigerbalm: YAY! LOVE that for you

ihatemyguts: Thanks, the [cool kid event] was great, btw

ihatemyguts: What have yous been up to?

tigerbalm: OMG! You went 😸😻

tigerbalm: I have to know EVERYTHING, sorry guys… 

brainpain: we all wanna hear what was great about it 🍿

ihatemyguts: Sorry, I didn’t get there early or stay late, or I’d have way more fun stuff to tell you

ihatemyguts: but I did get to dance and this guy played a song about me

tigerbalm: 🙀🙀🙀!!

tigerbalm: idk what The Railway Children is btw (sorry!) but that’s like ALL the films & TV I do 😻😻 you’re literally in an irl K-Drama

ihatemyguts: It does feel a little like that

ihatemyguts: and things like that don’t happen to me all the time, btw, I’m not that interesting

tigerbalm: Is that boy your boyfriend now?

ihatemyguts: Yes

ihatemyguts: funny as a bit it would be to turn him down after that, there was no way I was committing 

tigerbalm: WOW

brainpain: take a deep breath or your finger off caps

sonmychest: 💨💨💨💨💨💨💨 I won’t be jealous of your lung capacity or anything

injectme: I’m jealous I didn’t get to watch [a band that was playing this cool kid event earlier or later, clearly doing more than one song, no offence Jake], their sets get better and better each time they play Dublin, wherever the venue

ihatemyguts: [linking an insta/socials somewhere that lowkey records entire sets even though you’re not meant to do that, sure people do] I bet they’ve got it

injectme: It’s not the same but beggars can’t be choosers fresh out of hospital

brainpain: been there felt that

brainpain: it’s sh*t* soz newbie

gotspoons: I do hope you’re feeling better after your treatment though?

injectme: They let me go

brainpain: Rich would sign in for a bed shortages rant

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I feel as though I must end your waiting

brainpain: finally

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I apologise, I was helping my brother with his Uni assignments

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: My ‘free’ time being anyone’s to monopolise as they choose

brainpain: brothers can be dikcs too good to know

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Undoubtedly the accusation would have him shocked and confused but yes

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Confirmed

tigerbalm: By me too

tigerbalm: that’s why I spend all my free time here, there’s way more girls

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I apologise again, Robyn

tigerbalm: not YOU Rich, boys like my brothers ONLY

brainpain: I’ll be on the floor if she calls you 1 of the girls

sonmychest: 💅🤪

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I’ll have you know I’ve been told numerous times that I have hair any girl would be envious of, so, perhaps I am better qualified than you presume

brainpain: pics or you’re a tease

brainpain: nervous newbie excluded there’s no time like the present for a mass face reveal

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I think that may be against the rules, Rosie?

brainpain: they can’t kick us all out

ihatemyguts: Mutiny lmao

brainpain: live a little it’s our flesh prisons not our bank deets

ihatemyguts: I’ve already been outed in the local community, like, makes no odds to me, honestly

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Rosie may be asleep currently…

brainpain: make the call babe

brainpain: you gonna boot me for this? 

brainpain: [and drop a pic of yourself like a rebel]

princemyshkin: If Lauren has to go then so do I

princemyshkin: [a pic of yourself because you love a cause so obvs you’d come in rn to do this]

sonmychest: 🤯 omg how long does it take to get your hair like that Lauren

brainpain: hours but what else am I doing

brainpain: + people watching my 🎮 stream are into it 🤑

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well, as it’s done now, I’d say it is up to your/your parents if you are under 13 discretion

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: In the halcyon days when we received funding, this group would have been an in-person support group, so

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Anyone not comfortable, understand the ‘mass face reveal’ is not mandatory, however much enthusiasm it’s met with

brainpain: can’t resist me even when I break the rules 

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: They aren’t my rules, technically, I have slightly more authority and trust to uphold them but the admin/big bosses will undoubtedly decide… if they’re ever actually in here which I have my doubts about

brainpain: they’re yours to break

brainpain: your turn to stick it to the man 📸

sonmychest: Super subtle lol

brainpain: you too new boy’s put you all to shame as the only 1 standing up for me

sonmychest: Before you put us all to shame by being model attractive, casually, nbd

brainpain: @ him I’m hiding behind hair dye 🌈🦄

sonmychest: Well sure, I can imagine how often you’d get hit with the ‘but you don’t look sick’ new boy

princemyshkin: When I’m outed in the local community I’ll let you know

princemyshkin: And my name’s Jake, by the way, since us troublemakers are still here right now

ihatemyguts: [post your pic because direct callout to what you said like hey]

princemyshkin: There you are

sonmychest: FFS, no, I’m literally finding the nearest belltower 

tigerbalm: I don’t look like a model, but I’ll post my face if you do, Kara

tigerbalm: count of 3?

sonmychest: Okay, I’ll do it if you do, Robs, someone count us in, not that I’m being dramatic or anything

brainpain: 3

brainpain: 2

brainpain: 1

tigerbalm: Okay, UM… here goes

tigerbalm: [the shyest selfie of all time]

sonmychest: [also post yours, no need to cheat lol]

sonmychest: You look exactly as adorable as I would imagine, HOW 😸😻

tigerbalm: I thought you’d be ginger idk why 😸

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Without sounding like a creep, I hope, you’re all very pretty and have no need to be insecure about your appearances 

sonmychest: Thank you for the diplomatic dad answer, appreciate it for real

sonmychest: I WISH I could pull off ginger, I’d look so weird 

tigerbalm: I wanted to be BLONDE when I was little

tigerbalm: imagine 😹

injectme: If everyone else is doing it

injectme: [a pic that we know isn’t you but we’re pretending is, if only because this person clearly has an insulin pump visible]

sonmychest: It would be giving [some k-pop idol who’s got that platinum blonde asian thing going on]

tigerbalm: & I’m more of a [different k-pop girlie who’s more your vibe]

sonmychest: Wow, we’re all so cute, love that for us, guys

sonmychest: Rich (and Rosie, if you are lurking disapprovingly) you’re the only ones left to go

brainpain: he’s back on his keeping me waiting bs 😭

ihatemyguts: The hype is real, smart move

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I assure you, I’m not playing chess or being in any way tactical here

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I am somewhat of a luddite when it comes to the social side of social media, I don’t know if I have any recent pictures of myself

brainpain: 👶  pics are fine too FYI

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: The mental image it would create would be amusing, undoubtedly 

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [but take a very boy who does not care and does not take selfies selfie of yourself now]

brainpain: f 💣

brainpain: if any of you kids need me don’t for a minute 👋

sonmychest: You did NOT lie about your hair, I cut mine off recently and now I’m so sad about it 😭😭

tigerbalm: I was debating it before my bday party BUT 🙀

tigerbalm: if it doesn’t suit me I’d have to photoshop my pre haircut head onto ALL the pictures

sonmychest: I think it would be chic, Robs

sonmychest: You can always fold half of your hair under and clip it in place, see if you vibe or not

tigerbalm: Amazing idea! BRB guys

sonmychest: Uh-oh, everyone is taking a minute now…

injectme: …

sonmychest: Did you share your name with your pic, newbie? I’ve forgotten in the excitement

injectme: No, I forgot too

injectme: I don’t ever go by it in full

sonmychest: What do you go by then

injectme: Nicknames

sonmychest: We can stick to your username then, if that’s what you want

injectme: I’ll think of a new one for here

injectme: if anybody has any ideas, all ears

sonmychest: I’ll ponder

injectme: Shuffle has spoken [and drop the song]

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, excellent taste

brainpain: not their best

brainpain: no offence newbie

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ms Harry’s French leaves something to be desired 

injectme: Yeah, but I couldn’t ask you to call me Atomic and keep a straight face

ihatemyguts: Maria is a better song but worse name, kinda, Catholic vibes pervading at least

tigerbalm: I never know ANY of the songs you guys mention

sonmychest: Have you started working on your bday playlist yet?

tigerbalm: Not yet

sonmychest: You better get going, girl

tigerbalm: I wish you guys could come but that HAS TO be against the rules, right? 😿

brainpain: I’ll come if you’re serious about the invite

brainpain: give a 💩

princemyshkin: Me too, if you want

tigerbalm: 🙀🙀🙀!!

sonmychest: It’s never made sense to me, anyway, why can’t we make friends, it’s what people do when they join any other group…

tigerbalm: OMG it would be the best bday EVER

sonmychest: You are so cute

brainpain: sweet 16 cos I’m there LMAO 🥳

brainpain: + Jake’s jawline

tigerbalm: He has a gf, Lauren, that’s like the first thing he said to us!

brainpain: + he’s a 👶 more importantly

brainpain: 👀🚫✋

princemyshkin: I’ll ask her if she minds me dancing with the birthday girl, I don’t think she will

sonmychest: Your parents will be cool with it, right?

tigerbalm: idk they’re never cool with anything

sonmychest: It’s YOUR party and YOUR birthday, you should have friends there

brainpain: I’ll go boring brunette if it helps

tigerbalm: I COULDN’T ask you to do that

sonmychest: 💔 left wounded 

brainpain: oops

brainpain: I can’t do ginger my b@tch sister would flip

brainpain: blonde so no one’s triggered

ihatemyguts: f me I guess 

brainpain: I didn’t say boring with it

ihatemyguts: jurys still out on if triggers are real anyhow 🤷‍♀️

princemyshkin: The word trigger is actually a bad one in itself for some of us

brainpain: he’s got jokes now 🧠🔫  welcome to the club

sonmychest: y’all are gonna scare the newbie off

injectme: I’m not squeamish

brainpain: then I’ve got a story for you

sonmychest: Oh, God…

brainpain: check your pms newest newbie 💌😘

injectme: Oh, yeah, okay, I spoke a bit soon

gotspoons: What’s going on? I just woke up to all these messages

brainpain: nothing 

gotspoons: 🤨 

gotspoons: I’m going to catch up myself then…

tigerbalm: You’re invited to my bday party, that’s something

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, Rosie, let me PM you, save you some time

brainpain: I’ll say my goodbyes now 🧳🚪 slan everyone (add the accent in yourself I’m not doing all that)

ihatemyguts: 😬 Yikes

sonmychest: imma peace out too

brainpain: [drop your twitch deets so peeps can find you in case you aren’t allowed back lol, even though we know you will be]

gotspoons: [Private @ injectme]

gotspoons: I’m really sorry that this is your first impression of this group

gotspoons: and even more so that you were sent inappropriate material

gotspoons: Is there anything we can do/you wish to be done to remedy the situation?

injectme: It’s what happened to her, that’s what this place is for

gotspoons: Graphic content should never be directly sent to anyone, it’s far better we use our words to explain, in the group setting

gotspoons: It wasn’t appropriate to haze you like that

injectme: I’m here to get to know people not cause trouble for them

gotspoons: You’ve not caused any trouble, let me assure you

injectme: I don’t snitch, I’m not going to

gotspoons: No one is asking you to and it isn’t needed, Lauren made her intentions clear

injectme: I don’t think she had bad intentions

gotspoons: I am glad you’re okay

injectme: I am

gotspoons: If you’re sure there’s nothing I can do for you then I will mark this particular issue as resolved?

injectme: Yeah, I’m good

gotspoons: Brilliant, thank you for your cooperation on this

[saving-ray-23]

BATGIRL (TWELVE)

For the past two months, she had been patrolling. Helping. Stopping crime. Protecting the people of Somerset. After that first night, she felt like she couldn't stop. It was addicting. Even with Batman and Robin— they were only two people. They couldn't stop everything as it happened and they couldn't protect all of Gotham at once. So, while they took down the big guys like the Joker and Scarecrow, she watched the little guys. Petty crimes, attempts at rape, alleyway shootings. For years, she been learning Karate and practicing self-defense. It felt good to finally put it all to use.

The one thing she could do without was the nickname they gave her.

It was embarrassing to say the least. And she wasn't even working with Batman. She didn't think Batman knew she existed until Robin cornered her one night.

Barbara hung off the fire escape, looking down below. She was a few blocks from Crime Alley, an old-fashioned walkie-talkie in hand. It had been way too easy to access the GCPD's frequency and from there it just took some reprogramming to transmit it to the radio. She knew nearly all of the codes already; all of her sick-days as a kid were spent at the GCPD, with nothing but handbooks and open cases to look at.

Despite the high rate of crime in Gotham, the radio was mostly silent throughout the night. Nobody called in crimes that often. Most of the time, the station was filled with people caught by Batman or coming in to give a statement after the crime was committed.

She was so focused on the scanner that she didn't even realize someone was watching her until her landed on the roof.

"Bat . . . girl?" He questioned, cocking his head.

Barbara cringed under the cowl, knowing she should've just painted over the yellow symbol. "I swear I didn't come up with that name."

Robin laughed, relaxing slightly. "Good, the whole Bat-thing is kinda dumb."

"Right? No offense, but your boss literally sounds like a furry."

"Well, so do you now . . . " He joked— holy shit, she was joking around with Robin. Robin !

"I guess it's too late to rebrand?" She asked with a wince, more annoyed than ever with James and Coach Yeoh.

"Unless you want people thinking you died— it's a decent name, you'll be fine." The vigilante answered, grinning at her. "But, if Batman asks, I just told you off for this whole . . . lifestyle. Shit, that sounds— "

"Grossly sexual?"

"I was going to say weird."

The two stood facing each other on a rooftop at two in the morning, joking around and just . . . talking. Nothing that would give away anything important, although Babs had let it slip that she was from one of the worst parts of Gotham. Which was pretty much true; she wasn't living in Crime Alley directly or anything, but Somerset was known to be the hub of corruption and violence. Kind of ironic, in Barbara's opinion, considering the GCPD was in the heart of it all.

They talked for less than half an hour. Robin asked her if she could actually fight (he seemed almost impressed when she told him about the multiple black belts that were collecting dust in her closet and how close she was to receiving another). After that, he questioned her age, but she retaliated by asking his, leaving them at a standstill. Eventually, he got around to the topic of parents, asking if her parents would be worried.

"My parents aren't the caring type." She revealed with as little emotion as possible. "My . . . dad's a workaholic. Doesn't even notice I'm gone."

Babs wondered if she had said too much. It made it sound like she could go missing and nobody would care. She realized belatedly that it was somewhat true. It would probably take days for anyone to notice she was gone. Robin nodded slowly at her, holding out a piece of paper.

"I get where you're coming from— at least I think I do." He paused, smile dropping. "If you ever need help, you can call this number, day or night."

Babs hesitantly tucked the paper into her belt. "Thanks, Boy-Wonder."

After that, Barbara just became more determined.

[transgaysex]

my god wait that post reminds me i had to teach my aunt V that she does in fact need calories to live . she was convinced those were the devils nutrients

[caitimetravels]

she’s insignificant

chapter 2: welcome home

the umbrella academy x (fem) reader

disclaimer: i do not own the plot/storyline of the netflix tv series and i do not own the umbrella academy characters.

warnings: mentions of death, mentions of drugs and alcohol, poor parenting

masterlist

“number eight! this is serious! if you do not train properly you will not be allowed to join your siblings on missions.”

“number eight! that’s not how you behave!”

“no, number eight! how many times must you do this before you get it right?”

“no! not like that, number eight! you must be quicker, smarter, stronger! you’ll be a liability”

“no! again, number eight!” 

“number eight!”

“number eight!”

she wished it was stop. the yelling. the shouting. the insults. the pain. the training. all of it. her head hurt. she could feel the anger swirling around, growing. control. she needed control. relax.

she took a deep breath. again. again. she pushed herself over and over until she collapsed. she worked herself to the bone only to always be left with disapproving stares. the scowl. the glare. and then she was alone, forced to pick up the broken pieces and put herself together. she didn’t have her other siblings. their family dynamic wasn’t much of a family dynamic but just once she wished one of them could be there. even just to see what she was going through. it hurt that she was alone. she hated alone.

--------------------------------------------------

“um..” luther slowly stood, unsure. “i guess we should get this started” he looked around at his siblings sitting in parlour. they all sat separately with klaus making drinks at the bar in the back.

“are we having a family meeting?” y/n stepped into the room, confused. she paused as realisation crossed over their faces. “..you forgot me”

“sorry, y/n, we didn’t mean-” allison started, trying to defend them. y/n shook her head.

“no, no, don’t apologise. it’s okay.. let’s just get this over with” she waved off any concern, taking a seat beside vanya. in her lap sat a familiar book. 

--------------------------------------------------

“you’ll be okay” ben spoke softly, gently bandaging y/n’s arm. he gave her a small smile. the pair sat in the back of the library, secluded and separate. the others were too wrapped up in themselves to care. 

vanya stepped over a moment later. she frowned at the tears on y/n’s cheeks. taking a seat beside her she offered them the cookies she had stolen from the kitchen. they weren’t meant to have any until dessert but ben and vanya found this much more important. y/n sniffled, taking the cookie in her good arm. 

“thanks v” she gave a watery smile, eating a big bite of the cookie to stop the sobs about to escape her mouth. ben and vanya shared a frown over her head. 

“should we read something?” ben offered, pulling a random book off the shelf behind him. y/n merely nodded, she needed this to calm down her raging emotions. these two were the only two who understood. if her emotions went haywire so would her powers. 

“hm, little women? i didn’t think dad would have this” ben smiled at the cover. 

“pogo got it for me” y/n murmured softly, listening to her brother’s soothing voice as he read. she smiled, they were always able to calm her down.

--------------------------------------------------

“so, i figured we could have some sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown, say a few words” luther started again, “just at dad’s favourite spot”

“dad had a favourite spot?” allison asked, confused. 

“yeah, you know. under the oak tree” luther nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “we used to sit out there all the time.. did none of you ever do that?”

“will there be refreshments? tea, scones” klaus interrupted, walking to join them with a cigarette between his fingers and a glass of alcohol in his other hand. “cucumber sandwiches are always a winner” he waltzed over beside y/n who smiled at his laid-back attitude.

“what? no” luther shook his head, “and put that out, you know dad didn’t allow smoking in here” 

“is that my skirt?” allison questioned, looking down at klaus’ attire.

“what?” he mumbled distracted. he put his glass down before turning around. “oh, yeah, this. i found it in your room. it’s a little dated but its very breathy on the.. bits” he gestured.

“listen up” luther put on his leader voice, commanding as usual. “there’s still some things we need to discuss, alright?”

“like what?” diego snapped, obviously sick of this.

“like the way he died” 

“and here we go” diego rolled his eyes and luther glared at him.

“i don’t understand.. i thought they said it was a heart attack?” vanya spoke up, confused. klaus plopped down onto the couch now, wrapping his arm around y/n.

“what? he had a heart attack?” y/n’s eyebrows furrowed, she hadn’t been told that. they all looked at her, surprised.

“you didn’t know?” allison asked softly,

“no? you did?” 

“that’s only according to the coroner” luther chipped in, still pushing his theory.

“well, wouldn’t they know?” vanya raised an eyebrow.

“theoretically”

“theoretically?” allison asked.

“look, i’m just saying at the very least something happened. the last time that i talked to dad he sounded strange” 

“oh, tell us please” klaus gurgled through his drink, not at all serious. y/n would have laughed if she didn’t see the real reason luther was bringing this up. he thought one of them did it.

“strange how?” allison continued to push, incredulous. 

“he sounded on edge, told me i should be careful who to trust” luther frantically tried to convince them.

“luther” diego sighed, standing “he was a paranoid, bitter old man. he was starting to lose what was left of his marbles”

“no” he quickly shook his head, turning to him. “he must have known something was going to happen. look” he looked over at klaus. “i know you don’t like to do it but i need you to talk to dad”

klaus rolled around, disagreeing, “i can’t just call dad in the afterlife and be like dad can you stop playing tennis with hitler for a moment and take a quick call” he waved his cigarette around, sitting up and letting go of y/n.

“since when? that’s your thing”

“i’m not in the right frame of mind!”

“you’re high?” allison looked up,

“yeah, yeah!” klaus laughed, nodding his head, “i mean how are not listening to this nonsense?”

“well, sober up, this is important” klaus merely sighed, “then there’s the issue of the missing monocle” 

diego scoffed, “who’s give a shit about a stupid monocle?”

“exactly, it’s worthless” luther was only digging himself a bigger hole, “so, whoever took it i think it was personal. someone close to him, someone with a grudge”

“yes, cause that’s all we need” y/n rolled her eyes, exasperated “more grudges”

“where are you going with this?” klaus narrowed his eyes, confused.

“well, isn’t it obvious, klaus?” diego sneered up at luther, “he thinks one of us killed dad”

luther opened his mouth to deny it but nothing came out. it was true.

“and i bet your top suspect is little y/n” diego pointed a finger right at the said girl. she froze.

“what?”

“you do!” klaus sat back, shocked. 

“how could you think that?” vanya stared in disbelief.

y/n stood abruptly and everyone watched as her eyes turned black. the same way they used to when she had trouble controlling her emotions. they watched as she quickly shook her head, storming out.

“great job luther” diego mocked, “way to lead” then he begun to walk away. 

“that’s not what i’m saying” he tried to defend himself but nobody listened.

“you’re crazy man, you’re crazy.. crazy” klaus stood too, picking up his drink. vanya went to walk away, following diego.

“i’m not finished” luther attempted to stop them. 

“okay well sorry, i’m just gonna go help y/n murder mom, i’ll be right back” he commented sarcastically, walking away. 

“that’s not what i’m saying-” it was no use.

y/n curled up beside ben’s statue, book pressed against her chest. she took deep breaths, trying to regain control. her breath came out shaky as she rocked slowly. eventually she relaxed, leaning into the side of the statue. her cheek pressed against the cold concrete. with a final sigh she looked up at him. 

“hey..” she spoke softly, “i brought our book” she gave a weak chuckle, showing the statue the book she had been cradling. 

“i finished again.. should i start again?” 

diego stood in the doorway, watching her talk. he frowned, she was so sweet. it wasn’t her fault she was born with such a horrible curse. he understood why she got along so well with ben, they both hated their powers. it made training unbearable for them. she begun to read aloud, still leaning into the statue as she sat on the gravel covered floor. with a sigh he walked away, she would be okay, she just needed time. 

time didn’t heal y/n, no matter how much she wished it would. she didn’t have anybody, everybody left her. she had to get over everything all by herself. her words started to come out stuttered, her voice cracked. slowly she begun to sob, tears wetting the pages of her book. she wiped them from her face, standing up. she had to be calm.

she spared one last glance at the statue before walking away.

--------------------------------------------------

“number eight, you must always keep your emotions in check” reginald scolded, glancing up from his notebook. he scribbled something else, ignoring her watery eyes.

“b-but i can’t” she sobbed out, she was young. her siblings were allowed to show emotion why couldn’t she?

“then you are weak!” reginald snapped his book shut, raising his eyes to glare at her. the words shouldn’t have hurt as much as they did. she was never enough, she was always going to be weak. she needed to do better, to be better. to be strong. 

--

“emotions, number eight” the girl supressed her smile at the name her mother had just given her. he wouldn’t even use it. her face fell blank.

“emotions, number eight” the girl took a deep breath, no anger. nothing. you cannot feel. she closed her eyes for a moment, controlling her urge to destroy something. she opened them to see a confused diego. this wasn’t how she was meant to react, he had stolen the ring her mother had given her. she just walked away. 

“emotions, number eight” she caught ben’s eye across the table. he nodded softly. she breathed calmly, no dessert. she was weak, she didn’t deserve dessert. five frowned from beside her, looking between her and their father. something was wrong.

“emotions, number eight” reginald turned on her. she stood, hands gripping the table until her knuckles turned pale. how could he let five go? as she raised her head she heard gasps from her siblings. pogo and reginald shared a look as she glared at the latter, taking a moment to calm herself. it wasn’t working. she was struggling to keep her emotions at bay, she couldn’t supress them. “y/n..” vanya whispered as she ran from the table. she couldn’t do it. he was gone and she hadn’t stopped him.

“emotions, number eight” she couldn’t do it. not this time. she shook her head. her eyes filled with tears. she couldn’t. “number eight! emotions!” she shook her head again, all she could feel was pain. it was her fault. she let him die. her siblings must hate her. her father hates her. ben would hate her. she let him die. she watched him die. 

“number eight! your emotions!” reginald’s voice got louder and she heard herself scream. everything was crumbling. he was gone, it was her fault. “number one, do it” 

it was all.. her fault..

--------------------------------------------------

on her way to the staircase she paused. her eyes lingered on the painting. five’s painting. she felt herself move without wanting to. she stepped into the room, looking up at her brother sadly.

“i’m sorry” she frowned, “i’m so sorry, five. i shouldn’t have let you go. i should have gone after you. i’m sorry, you must be so alone and i lied. i’m sorry for lying.. i should have done better, i should have listened to dad.. i couldn’t bring you back and it’s all my fault. it’s always my fault.. i’m sorry five, i’m so sorry..” 

“sweetie?” she looked over to see grace. “who are you apologising to? did something happen to you?” the blonde robot walked over, glancing over her to see if she had hurt herself.

“oh, no, it’s okay mom” she smiled fakely, trying to reassure her mother. “i was just thinking out loud. nothing to worry about”

“oh, alright, sweetie” she smiled again, “how about something to eat?”

“i’m okay, thanks. i think i’m just going to rest” grace nodded, allowing her to leave.

she wouldn’t be okay, not until she could stop blaming herself. she took one last look at five' picture before she closed her eyes, trying to stop her tears. when she opened them she appeared in her bedroom. she quickly shut the door, locking it. at least in here she couldn’t do anymore damage.

--------------------------------------------------

“number eight” reginald’s voice was disappointed but y/n couldn’t find it in herself to care. so what if she was a failure, she had always been one anyways. “you are no longer allowed to go on missions with your siblings”

she didn’t raise her head. he wasn’t done. this is what she deserved. “you will instead be working on locating number five”

she froze, staring up at him in shock.

“what?”

--------------------------------------------------

a flash of blue light outside her window broke her out of her thoughts. she stood from her bed, glancing down at the courtyard. it couldn’t be..

[animeomegas]

MY FELLOW ANON ARE VIOLATING MY EMOTIONS TODAY 😂 god I’m acc crying. Your writing is amazing. I’m gonna combat the sadness with a wholesome thing of them finding a pup in a bin (or something) a few months after the loss of the first pup (Neji is currently shut down entirely) is like “lol gimme”. Proceeds to take the pup home, put it in his nest scent the lil bean (gender is your choice) and just be like “yeah this mine now”. Any nay sayers are ignored bc it’s still his baby (maybe almost like his pup reincarnated 👀👀) regardless of how baby was obtained. Idk I just think my guy needs some positivity after life kicking the ever loving shit out of him

This is beautiful and you’re right, Neji deserves the world, but I’ll settle with a quiet life and some happiness for my boy!

Okay, so things haven’t been…good with Neji since you had to let your pup die to save him.

It has been two months and still he lays in his nest every day, sometimes crying, sometimes whining, but mostly just staring at nothing. He had incorporated a bunch of baby stuff (blankets, toys etc.) into his nest before he went to the hospital, in order to make his pup feel more at home in the nest when he was supposed to bring them back. You had tried to take them out to stop him having to be confronted with what happened in his safe space, but Neji almost attacked you for doing so, so you let him keep them.

But it’s very concerning when he spends hours at a time just stroking the pup's blankets and staring at nothing.

So, you decide to take Neji on a walk to get him out of the house. It would be his first time leaving the house since the funeral.

You go at night time, because Neji is still refusing any contact with anyone he knows and this way he’s less likely to be confronted when he isn’t ready for it. To make extra sure that you can be alone, you decide to walk around the edge of the woods around one of the quieter training grounds.

Neji doesn’t speak much, but he doesn’t whine or cry either, and the night air brings a little colour to his cheeks, and you’re so happy at the small improvements. It doesn’t matter how long it ends up taking him to feel better, you’ll be here with him the whole way.

…

“I was thinking about cooking something special next week,” you make idle conversation, not expecting Neji to reply. “It’s our anniversary after all, do you have any preference?”

Neji stops walking suddenly. His shoulders are tense.

“Neji?”

He hushes you harshly.

“I can hear…”

Without another word of warning, Neji makes his way a little further into the trees. You follow him, confused and worried.

“Byakugan!” he calls, scanning the area. He gasps as he scans over a nearby bush and immediately he drops to his knees beside it.

“Neji?” you ask, now more than a little concerned. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

You watch as Neji pulls something out of the bush. He turns around with a bundle in his arms.

“It’s a pup,” Neji says, obviously shocked. You can’t blame him, you’re feeling more than a little shocked yourself. What on earth was a pup doing out here? “They’re freezing. Give me your jacket.”

Without hesitance, you quickly slip your jacket of and hand it to Neji who promptly bundles up the pup in it and brings them to his chest. The pup is making small whimpering noises that had been almost impossible to hear over the wind. Neji must have hear them, thank goodness.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Neji coos to the pup. “You’re safe now, I'll take you home and make it better, I promise.”

“We need to get them to the hospital asap," you say, shaking your head. "They must be freezing and they look underweight as well. We’re not mednin, Neji.”

“Our home is closer.”

“Neji…”

“We need to make sure they’re warm,” he argues. “We can bring them home and alert a medic to make a home visit.”

You look at the earnest look on his face and know that he won’t back down, and now isn’t a time for arguments anyway.

“Okay,” you swallow nervously. “We’ll bring them home.”

…

You bring the pup back to your home and before you can protest, Neji brings them into his nest with a mumbled ‘they’ll be warm in there’.

Neji bundles himself and the pup up in the corner of the nest, turning on a little heater beside him, and tucking the pup into his shirt to share body warmth.

“We’ll get you nice and warm, it’s okay, you’re safe, I won’t let anyone harm you,” he whispers while stroking their cheek with a finger. The pup wriggles around, already looking more energetic, and starts mouthing at Neji’s chest.

“Are you hungry?” Neji laughs softly before turning to you. “Go and heat up a bottle for the pup, all the supplies are in the… the nursery.”

You nod dumbly and do as you’re asked, astounded at how much life is in Neji’s eyes. It’s the most life you’ve seen from him in months. But you can’t help but worry. What if Neji gets attached and you can’t keep the pup? Of course, you want nothing more than to keep the baby, it almost seems too good to be true that she literally fell into both your lives at this trying time, but what if it is too good to be true? What if they’re sick? Or their parents are looking for them? Or… something else. Neji doesn’t deserve another heartbreak, and you don’t want to destroy the small amount of progress he’s made in the last month.

But for now, all you can do is heat up the bottle.

…

“Here, it’s a good temperature, I already checked,” you pass Neji the bottle. He checks it again anyway and you can’t help but smile at how overprotective and parental he's being. It's so bittersweet to see him like this.

“Here you go sweetheart, just for you,” Neji smiles, cradling the pup as they latch onto the bottle with fervour. “Shh, shh, shh, slow down, it’s not going anywhere.”

Neji feeds the pup and then burps them, and you pretend you can’t see him smiling when he notices that they are starting to smell like him. You need to know you can keep her before you let him get even more attached.

“I’m going to send a clone for a medic, now.”

The room became tense all at once.

“They’re fine, I’m looking after them,” Neji protests.

“I know, and you’re doing a good job, but we still need a medic, Neji.”

Neji holds the pup more tightly to his chest, tucking an extra blanket around them. He's using the special blanket you had got commissioned for your pup. You can feel your heart break at the sight. He's already attached. Now you just have to hope you can keep them. For his sake.

“I don’t want them to take the pup away like last time,” Neji admits softly. "I can look after them, I won't let anything happen like last time, I promise. They'll be safe, we don't need a medic."

“We need to know their primary and secondary gender, omega, and we need to make sure they aren’t sick after being left in the woods…”

Neji hesitates but nods his consent in the end after you explain that your pup could become ill if left untreated. You don’t tell him that you are also sending a clone to the Hokage. Naruto will be able to grant you and Neji the right to keep the pup, and you hope that as Neji’s friend, he’ll be able to see how much he needs this.

…

You have to move Neji and the pup downstairs to wait for the medic, because Neji would not appreciate someone unknown seeing his nest he made for his pup. He’s not expecting Naruto to show up as well so you go to the door to intercept and prep them both.

“Thank you so much for coming, Naruto, I can’t tell you how much this means to me and Neji,” you say, hugging him as he walks through the door.

“I’m going to do everything I can,” he promises. “If the medic finds signs of long-term neglect, I can take the parental rights away from the biological parents straight away, even if I don't know who they are, and transfer you the rights.”

Your face visibly brightens, but Naruto continues.

“But if the only injuries are from laying in the forest for a few hours, I’ll have to try and find the parents first, because the child may have been taken from them by force, when the pup was otherwise a healthy baby being looked after sufficiently. In that circumstance, I’ll have to take the child back with me and put them in foster care until a three-month window has passed. And if the parents are found…”

“I know,” you sigh. “Let’s just get this done as soon as possible.”

The three of you walk into the living to see Neji cradling the pup tightly against his chest.

“Hey Neji,” Naruto greets softly with a sad smile. “I haven’t seen you around for a while.”

Neji tenses upon seeing Naruto.

“Naruto? Why are you here?” Neji clearly misinterprets the situation, holding the pup even more tightly and turning accusatory eyes against you. “Why did you bring him here?”

“I’m here to determine whether the pup was abandoned or kidnapped to the best of my abilities, once we have that done, we can decide how things are going to happen, okay?”

“How do you decide that?” Neji asks with distrustful eyes.

“The medic will give them a check-up, completely routine, I promise,” Naruto speaks with a soft voice like he’s talking to a cornered animal. Well, you look at Neji for a moment who is coiled as tightly as spring, he’s not far off.

It takes about five minutes for you to convince Neji to let go of the pup and hand them to the mednin, and then the next fifteen minutes involve you holding him in your arms to stop him wrestling the pup back from the mednin.

And then, rather ominously, the mednin pulls Naruto aside to talk.

Neji is shaking in your arms.

“It’s okay, calm down, Neji,” you try to comfort him.

“I can’t-“ Neji chokes, hands fisting in your shirt. “He has our pup, you let them take our pup.”

You don’t bother to correct him on his use of ‘our’, knowing it would only upset him more.

“I know baby, but they need to see that they’re healthy, nothing’s wrong, just breathe.”

Neji doesn’t take your advice.

"Last time they took them-"

"This isn't like last time, omega. Come one, try and settle down a little, that's it."

...

Naruto eventually walks back in, holding the pup securely, the mednin nowhere to be seen.

“So,” Naruto says seriously. And then his face breaks out into a wide grin. “Am I right in thinking you want to adopt?”

You can almost feel your relief in the air. Thanking every power that be for this stroke of luck. Losing this pup could have easily meant losing your mate, and the gravity of the situation all comes crashing down at once. Neji looks as though he is feeling much the same.

“Give me them,” he orders, arms out.

“Her,” Naruto corrects. “The mednin said she’s a female alpha.”

Tears start welling up in Neji’s eyes as he takes her. Their bio pup was a female alpha, too.

“Thank you,” he whispers to no one, holding his new pup as tightly as he dared. “I’ve got you now, you’re safe and sound with me, I won’t let anything hurt you ever again.”

Naruto slips out of the house without a fuss, dropping the mednin’s recommendations for feeding the underweight pup on the coffee table.

...

You and Neji take your new pup upstairs and bundle her back into the nest. Neji lays down with her, stroking her cheek as he watches her sleep.

“You need to get some rest too, omega,” you suggest, running a hand down Neji’s back.

“Guard?” he asks in response.

“Yes," you smile at his protective instincts. "I’ll guard the nest while you sleep, I promise.”

“Okay, alpha…” Neji settles down, still with one hand resting on the pup. “But if I don’t wake up when she cries, wake me… I want to be the one to feed her.”

You laugh gently, “Of course, now get some sleep. I’ll guard you both.”

[griffintail]

I know you write about parental stuff for a lot of characters in the Dream SMP, but I was wondering if you could write something for Quackity?

I’ve seen some writers write about Philza finding a winged child with their wings clipped, and since everyone seems to headcanon Quackity as a duck hybrid with wings that were clipped by Shlatt during his presidency, I thought it would be interesting to see how Big Q would react to finding someone did something similar to a child.

Plus I just like the thought of him as Papa Duck, and calling his kid “Duckling”. It’s just really adorable, okay? I’m in a fluffy mood, and there’s ducks/ ducklings in my yard all the time, so needless to say I’ve grown to really like ducks over the years.

Ducklings are so cute!

However, this went a bit more angsty than planned...I still hope you enjoy it! There is fluffy parts in there!

Duckling

Pairings: Parental! Quackity x F! Child! Reader

Warnings: Blood, Harm done to a child, Implied Past Abuse, Wounds, Angstish

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        It was any other day in New L’Manberg.

        Quackity woke up, tended to his wounds to make sure they healed properly, changed into a clean outfit, then walked out of his home with his usual smile. He was able to have usual banter with his friends, laughing a true laugh making him feel relief each time as he didn’t have to hold anything back. Going to have his daily meeting with Tubbo and the rest of the cabinet was when his day changed drastically.

        He was walking to the building when he saw a small sagging figure. Straightening up, he carefully went over.

        “Hello?”

        The figure looked up and he froze seeing the pain-filled face of a little girl. She stared for a moment before starting to fall.

        “Help…be free…”

        Her eyes closed as she fell to the ground and Quackity quickly rushed forward and caught her. As he did, he winced at the wet feeling as he held her back.

        “Oh please.” He muttered before carefully moving her in his arms.

        His blood boiled as he went pale.

        The back of their shirt was soaked completely in blood and he could easily tell that she was still bleeding.

        “Shit.” He scooped her up completely.

        He ran as fast as he could to the meeting building, bursting through, scaring everyone inside.

        “Quackity, you’re la—” Fundy started.

        “What the hell is that?!” Ranboo jumped up seeing the blood-soaked shirt that was starting to coat Quackity’s hands.

        “She’s losing blood fast,” Quackity said, putting the girl on the table. “I need help.”

        Fundy rushed to grab potions as Tubbo took off his jacket, Ranboo shuffling next to Quackity as he took the little girl’s shirt off.

        “Is that—” Ranboo gripped onto the front of his shirt as the other two eyes went wide looking at Quackity.

        “She’s losing blood!” Quackity snapped at all of them and everyone worked past their shock to help him.

        On the little girl’s back were two large wounds, very similar to the ones on Quackity’s back. He couldn’t think about it though, she was losing blood and he couldn’t let his anger control him at this moment.

        Everyone worked quick and by the end, the potion had slowed down the bleeding enough for Ranboo to close up the wounds and cease the bleeding. Finally, they could all breathe as they stared at the little girl, who they had wrapped in Fundy’s jacket.

        “Someone did that to her.” Tubbo finally said, the weight crushing the room.

        “…Doesn’t matter anymore,” Quackity spoke up. “She lives in L’Manberg now and won’t see whoever did it again. She’s free.”

        “She’s a kid Quackity, someone’s going to have to take care of her.” Fundy reminded him. “And what if she has parents—?”

        Fundy couldn’t get out another word before Quackity shouted. “If she does, where the hell were they when the monster did this?! If she does have parents, they just lost their rights as parents.”

        He felt the wounds on his back ached as he remembered the day, he lost his wings, his jaw clenching before he took a deep breath.

        “I’ll take her. I know how to take care of her wounds and I’ll be able to help her.” Quackity finally told them.

        “Are you sure?” Tubbo asked carefully.

        “Positive.” He nodded with confidence.

        He didn’t know what he was doing really when he came home and laid the little girl down on his bed for now. It was all a mystery really but he did believe that no one besides him could take care of her right. They had something horrible that connected them but he was hoping to help her through the pain better than he had dealt with it.

        From there, he worked on making his home a bit tidier, really trying to keep his mind busy from the anger he felt to whoever did this to her. If he ever found out who did this, there’d be no mercy. As he was putting away a few potions’ bottles, he heard a small squeak and he went back to his room. The little girl was sitting up, face screwed up in pain.

        “Hey, kid,” Quackity said quietly and she looked at him startled. “It’s ok, I’m the guy you ran into remember?”

        She thought for a moment before nodding as he nodded as well grabbing a regeneration and health potion.

        “A few friends and I healed and stitched you, you’ll need to take it easy for a long while so you don’t irritate your wounds or open them again. You mind if I put a bit of these on them to help them heal?”

        “What are they?” She muttered.

        “This is a regeneration potion; it will help your wounds close a bit easier so it won’t take months for them to close. This is a healing potion; it will help with the pain and keep you from getting sick because of your wounds.”

        She stared at the shining liquids before slowly nodding again. “Ok.”

        He came up behind her and lifting the jacket, reminding himself to return it to Fundy, before carefully first pouring the regeneration on the wounds. She winced and whimpered in pain.

        “Yeah, I know kid. It’s going to hurt for a while.” He mumbled as he finished on the other one as quickly as he could but making sure it got done before using the health potion. “This should help a bit.”

        “How do you know?” She asked curiously as she winced again.

        He paused before putting the jacket down. “It’s a long story. Now you’re probably starving. Let’s get some food.”

        It was a lot to process in a short amount of time, but, process Quackity did.

        To start, Quackity made a spare room he had into her room. He set her up a bed to start and said, whatever else she wanted in there, he’d figure out. After establishing a space for her, he got to know her a bit better past the wounds on her back. Her name was (Y/N) and she was nine years old and she ran away from home. She liked books but she also liked to run around outside.

        Knowing that Quackity asked to borrow more simple books from Ghostbur and would let her run around close by as he’d do his daily days. He tried to make her happy and she often was, the small shell she had breaking when around him. Slowly, but surely, she loved to follow him around and enjoyed talking with him, to which people would joke calling her his little duckling.

        He supposed that was where the nickname came from as he had started to call her that after a few short weeks of her living with him.

        It was a bit awkward for him to transition into taking care of two people instead of one for a while but he eventually got the hang of that too. With that, he also transitioned his days differently. In the early morning, he’d take care of his wounds before helping her with hers a couple of hours later.

        The two had a bit of an unspoken rule. He never asked what happened to her wings if she didn’t ask how he knew how to take care of her wounds.

        It changed though when he was doing the daily potion ritual. She had accidentally slept on her back and irritated her wounds a bit so it took a bit longer than usual. With him spending so much carefully taking care of the wounds, she wanted to talk about them.

        “My dad took my wings away.” She muttered and Quackity froze in his work. “They were a lot like mommy’s…he took them away so I stopped looking like mommy…”

        He was trying to keep his breathing under control as his thoughts went wild. He was hoping that maybe, as horrible as it was, that she was alone and some cruel person out in the world had done it. Yet, it was her father and it infuriated him so much, that he wanted to hunt this bastard down. However, …

        (Y/N) sniffled and he pulled her shirt down before sitting next to her, putting his arm around her.

        “Hey, little duckling, you don’t have to worry about him anymore. He’s not your dad if he did something like this to you. I’m sorry he took them away from you, I know wings are very special.”

        “They were fluffy.” She murmured as tears started to streak down her face.

        “I bet they were. If I could get them back for you, I would. Instead, though, we’ll live like this and smile on the ground because even without any wings, we’re still pretty special.” He told her, rubbing her arm.

        He promised he’d destroy the man that use to be in her life, but today…

        She hugged him and he squeezed her back.

        Today was all about her.

        Weeks passed and Quackity was smiling as (Y/N) ran ahead, bouncing as she looked back at him.

        “Come on papa duck! I want to see the new books!”

        “I’m coming, you’re just too fast duckling.” He put a hand on his chest dramatically.

        She giggled as she turned around, going to where Ghostbur was waiting outside the entrance to the sewer. The ghost eagerly showed the little girl the new books he had “found” and Quackity merely stood to the side, pleased with the excitement (Y/N) had coursing through her. Ghostbur lent her one of the books and Quackity nodded to him.

        “Thanks, Ghostbur.” Quackity waved as he walked off with the little girl.

        He never thought he’d be doing something like this in his life, but he didn’t mind. It was a nice change of pace.

        Ghostbur smiled as he watched them walk off. They were always so adorable together, even with the black transparent wings on both of them. As they walked away, one of the wings was wrapped around (Y/N) as her tiny fluffy ones flapped in excitement. Very lovely.

[arvinsescape]

Thank God for Tess

A/N: I love this concept and just had to write one.

Summary: Tess’s behavior has suddenly changed and you and Tom need to know why.

Warnings: Swearing. Mentions of sex but nothing bad.

W/C: 2.1K... Wow this got long quick.

Tessa’s behaviour had changed dramatically over the last couple of weeks and neither you nor Tom could figure it out. It started when you and Tom had been playfighting one afternoon. He had you pinned to the floor, arms above your head and knees either side of you.

“Tom! Get off!” You’d shouted as you laughed.

“Not until you tell me what Harrison said about me.”

“Nothing! It was just some sappy stuff you told him before you asked me out.” You laughed as he started tickling your sides.

“Yeah, but which sappy stuff?” His fingers were relentless and your sides were hurting from laughing.

That’s when Tess joined you. She barked at the commotion. Normally she’d get involved and playfully try and move Tom away from you.

“Look, Tess has come to save you.” Tom laughed as he carried on. Then you both stopped when you heard it. She let out a low growl as she eyed Tom.

“Tess, I’m just playing.” Tom said as he held his hands up in defence. Maybe she’d gotten confused and thought he was trying to hurt you. She growled again. Your eyebrows shot up as you looked at Tom. “Okay, okay. I’ll move.” Tom said as he got up off you. Tess moved and stood next to you still eyeing her owner.

“What’s gotten into you?” You said as you stroked her. She turned her attention to you and started trying to lick your face. You eventually stood up. “What’s up with her?” You asked Tom as he eyed her in confusion.

“Not a clue.”

That same night something else had happened that wasn’t normal. Tom again had you pinned but to the sofa and it wasn’t in a playful sense anymore. He took your bottom lip between his teeth and you let out a sigh of pleasure. Tom began kissing down your neck and you were letting out quiet whimpers. You moved your head to the side to allow him better access. When you opened your eyes you were met with Tess.

You and Tom had had sex multiple times on this sofa and she’d not once bothered you, usually disappearing into another room. Why was she here now? “Tom.” You pushed at his chest, he carried on, caught up in what he was doing. “Tom!” You said more forcefully, his eyes snapped to your face.

“What? Did I hurt you?” He panicked for a moment. Until he saw where you were looking. “Tess. Bed.” He said. She didn’t move. “Tess. Bed.” Tom said this time more assertively. She let out a low growl. “Tess, enough.” Tom said as she kept eyeing the two of you. it was strange.

“Tom, I can’t have sex if she’s gonna be staring at us, it’s weird.” You said.

“Well then we’ll move this upstairs.” He said as he stood up from the sofa, he picked you up, legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you upstairs. Tess hot on your heels.

“Tom she’s following.” You mumbled into his ear.

“Jesus Christ.” Tom muttered as he made his way into the bedroom. He shut the door and left Tessa outside. He felt guilty for a few moments before you started kissing his neck again. He moved you onto the bed and carried on where he left off. Sucking your sweet spot. Just as you were getting into it, you heard it. Tess had been scratching at the door. You both ignored it, she’d give up eventually and go to bed.

Not today it seems. She was now barking behind the door and scratching it more aggressively. You sighed and so did Tom. You didn’t want a complaint from the neighbours so Tom got up and opened the door. She shot straight past him and made her way over to you, trying to lick your face, making you both laugh as she jumped up onto the bed.

“What is with you today Tess?” You sighed as you changed into your pj’s. You got into bed and so did Tom after stripping down to his boxers. Just as he was about to pull you close to his chest Tess reappeared. She got right in between the two of you as she cuddled into your side.

“Cock blocked by my own bloody dog.” Tom sighed as he grasped your hand over Tessa. “She’s in a mood today.” Tom grumbled.

But it wasn’t just that day. No, she’d gotten really quite naughty in way. She followed you around more than usual and she was always trying to separate you and Tom, completely ignoring any command he gave. You’d actually had to ask Harrison to take her for a walk just so you could have sex. When Harrison had returned, Tess was again, all over you. He said that she’d been whining a lot, trying to turn around to get home quicker.

“What is with her? Do you think she’s sick?” You’d asked Tom out of concern.

“No, she’s eating fine and she isn’t showing any signs of being in pain. It’s like she’s gotten attached to you, like more than usual.” He said as he furrowed his brows in thought, observing his dog as she curled up in your lap.

She’d started growling at Tom almost regularly. Whenever he touched you in certain ways, she’d be there. Tom was growing frustrated at her, she was being more aggressive towards him and he wasn’t sure why. She wasn’t an aggressive dog, not in any way and he didn’t know what had gotten into her, he was growing more concerned about her.

Then Tuwaine came round and that’s when you saw Tom properly scald Tess for the first time. You and Tuwaine were close, as you were with all of Tom’s friends and you were currently engaged in a bit of light banter. Tess curled up at your side that she was seemingly attached too. You’d made a snarky comment and as was usual, Tuwaine went to give you a harmless and playful punch to the arm.

The second his hand made contact with your arm Tess shot up. She barked as she tried to bite his hand. Tuwaine instantly pulling back as you both stared at each other in shock. Tess was stood defensively next to you as she growled at him.

“Tess!” Tom shouted. She didn’t even look at him. She was never so disobedient. “Oi. Tess. No.” Tom shouted again.

“What’s her deal?” Tuwaine asked as Tom sighed.

“Tess. Bed. Now.” Tom said to her. He was being assertive and she still wasn’t listening.

“Tess, go to bed.” You tried assertively. She looked at you as if examining you were alright before trotting off to her bed. This shocked all of you. She wouldn’t listen to Tom, but she would you? It’s not that she didn’t take commands from you she just got away with more when it came to you.

“What was that?” Tuwaine asked.

“I have no idea. She’s been like this for about a week or so.” Tom sighed.

“What did I do? I was just doing stuff she’s watched me do before?” Tuwaine asked confusion all over his features.

“Yeah, I get that treatment as well now.” Tom sighed.

“She’s tried to bite you?”

“No.” Tom said as he apologised to his friend. Tessa hadn’t tried to bite him and then she did.

You’d been visiting Tom’s parents when it happened. Tess was doing her new routine of following you everywhere and making sure she was sat next to you. Tom had decided he wanted to slightly cuddle up to you but couldn’t because Tess was in the way.

“Tess come on, down.” Tom said. She ignored him. “Tess!” He tried more assertively. Nothing. He sighed as he went to gently move her. She barked at him and went for his hand and he pulled back in shock. All the Holland’s were shocked.

“Right, that’s enough. Tess come on.” You said as you stood up. She followed you as you went into the kitchen. You shut her in there and you felt immensely guilty but that was a huge no. She’d tried to bite Tom, her owner.

“What was that?” Dom asked. “Tess is never aggressive.”

“I don’t know dad, she’s been like this for about two weeks. It makes no sense and I don’t know what to do. It’s like people aren’t allowed near Y/N.” Tom sighed. “It’s like she won’t be separated from her.” As if on que she started scratching at the door and barking.

“Maybe you should take her to the vets Tom?” Nikki suggested. “Make sure she’s alright.”

So you did. The vet examined her thoroughly.

“There isn’t anything wrong with her.” He said.

“Why is she suddenly so grumpy?” Tom asked.

“Have you had any recent changes? Walking areas, house?” The vet listed off.

“No.” Tom asked with furrowed brows. The vet turned his attention to you.

“Are you pregnant?” He asked and you laughed.

“No.” You said.

“Well I would suggest doing a test. Dogs can get like this, especially Tessa’s breed. They are very family orientated. She may be trying to protect you because you’re carrying a baby.” The vet explained. You couldn’t be, could you?

“What if that’s not it?” Tom asked. He looked deep in concentration.

“Then I suggest you bring her back. If, however, it is the case. Make sure she feels included and make sure you don’t present yourself as any sort of threat towards Y/N, even if it’s doing things you normally would. She will calm down eventually.” The vet said.

You made your way back to the car. Once in the car Tom started driving home.

“Is there a chance you could be pregnant?” He asked, expression unreadable.

“I don’t think so.” You said as you racked your brains. You had come off birth control recently because of all the problems you were having with it but you and Tom had been careful. Shit. You suddenly thought. You and Tom were usually very careful but there was that one night where you were both so wrapped up in each other because he’d just come home that you can’t remember if you did or didn’t use a condom.

You took your phone out and looked at the date. Your period was three weeks late. Shit. You were panicking now. You’d forgotten you were due on. This was the longest stretch you and Tom had ever been away from each other and you’d gotten so caught up in the fact that he was home.

“Fuck.” You mumbled to yourself, panic setting in.

“What?” Tom asked as he pulled into the driveway. You didn’t say anything as you got out of the car and made your way into the house. Tess and Tom hot on your heels.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Tom asked worried as you got into the house.

“When you came home six weeks ago. Did we use a condom?” You asked as you looked at him. He looked at you confused for a second as he tried to think.

“I think so. I don’t remember. I was so happy to see you, I’m sure we did didn’t we?” He was looking at you now.

“I can’t remember.” You said honestly. Was he going to hate you for this? What if you were?

“Then we should take a test, to be sure.” Tom said as he nodded. We that’s a good sign right? You sighed but agreed.

You’d gone out and bought a few tests. You took the first one.

Positive.

You took the second one.

Positive.

Third. Same result.

“Fuck.” You sighed. You looked at Tom and he had all three tests in his hand examining them. Face unreadable. The panic set in. Holy shit, what if he leaves you. “Tom.” You said carefully.

His eyes snapped to yours as he grinned.

“We’re pregnant.” He said.

“You’re not mad?”

“Mad? No! Jesus, I’m so happy right now.”

“I thought you weren’t ready for kids?” You mumbled.

“Me too. But seeing this has completely changed my mind, I’m ready and I’ll have you with me!” He suddenly picked you up and kissed your face all over. You giggled as you realised that this was in fact a very good thing. Tess calmed down after a few weeks as the vet had said, although there were still some things that Tom wasn’t allowed to do but they seemed to come to a mutual understanding, she no longer snapped at anyone anymore and she was more or less back to her original self. She was still attached to your hip but she did allow you and Tom some alone time now. You couldn’t help but thank her in a way. You’d been lucky enough not to experience much morning sickness and you wondered how long it would have taken you to find out. Thank God for Tess.

[loveanoutcast]

ok but I read games and I am ADDICTED and I just thought I could maybe request something like-

Eren meeting the reader through a simple comment and a timeskip to them being v close until they eventually end up in a fight because reader was ranting to eren about how perfect their crush (who is actually eren) is and him just exploding and them getting into a fight until the reader eventually goes "that person is you, dumbass!" Or smth like that and from there it all just turns into a lot of kisses and smut👀

only if you're comfy/in the mood of writing smth like this tho! just had this random thought last night and thought I'd request a little erenxfembodiedreader

Anyway have a nice day, night, afternoon, morning, you're amazing :D

Oh my gosh, this is my first request ever and I am so incredibly excited to write this and I really hope I did good in writing something you would want. Thank you so much for submitting this request, please feel free to send more! I love writing fanfics of any aot character and will do my absolute best to embody them in these. Sorry for the long wait, when I say the last chapter had me all the way FUCK3D up. EreMika is canon and I haven't been able to stop saying "He loved her, oh my god he loved her" in that "and they were roommates" vine way because that's my coping mechanism and it's cheaper than therapy. Anyway, I give you-

"Assumptions."

Pairing: Eren Yeager x Fem!reader

TW: nsfw, smut, angst, jealously, swearing, yelling, a bit of fluff, unprotected intercourse, breeding kink, a bit of voyeurism, a bit of sexism, eren being denser than a rock, Levi having health issues because he's old

Other: aot world if the mess of season four never happened and eren didn't fall to sad bitch hours, reader is a regular girl with family issues, all characters are over 18, Erwin never died and Floch never went insane

It wasn't that Eren hated going into town, but he wasn't exactly used to going to town alone. He always had Mikasa and Armin flanking either side of him but since the discovery of the world outside the walls and the decreased threat of titans, scouts were needed more than ever in the recovery of the lost districts. Mikasa was the second strongest soldier alive and Armin was expected to take after Erwin. Eren was useful when it came to being the one who possessed the attack and founder titan, but lately there was no big threats that required his titan abilities.

That didn't stop Hange from poking him, nor did it stop Captain Levi from keeping him busy with even the most minimalist of tasks. Today was no different and when the options were given to him and Jean, who was still asleep in his bunker, on shoveling horse shit or going into town to stock up on supplies and check to ensure all market suppliers weren't being capitalist pigs to the local vendors, Eren all but hauled ass through the door, hand swiping the grocery list off the table and yelling, "Good luck Jean-boy!"

Everything seemed to be going just fine, none of the local vendors had any troubles and most seemed happier with the drastic improvements of the living situations for Eldians. The fear of being eaten any day now or losing a loved one to war had seemed to be the driving force that had led to problems before. Some people recognized Eren, but no one seemed to want to approach him. He had had encounters with people who thought of him as a god, but he usually ignored them or kept a level-headed composure. Despite knowing that he had a power no one else had, outside of being a titan-shifter, Eren didn't really know what he had to offer. Armin was smart, Mikasa was strong, and he couldn't exactly claim titan-shifter seeing that Armin was also the colossal and Ymir had been the jaw.

He let out a sigh, kicking a rock in his path and silently yearning for something beyond his knowledge. Despite knowing that he was never really alone, he felt lonely a lot of the time. He had never given much thought to settling down, with the clock running out on him he often thought what was even the point? He wasn't sure if he wanted to keep being a soldier or if he wanted to go back home one day, he didn't really try to dwell on the future, content with being in the present and having Mikasa always on the verge of tears when she was reminded that he would one day die, didn't really give him room to think of much else.

You weren't oblivious to the tales and rumors that went around the town about the scouts and their secret weapon in the form of a shapeshifting man and how him and his comrades were able to plug the hole in the wall of a district your family had come from long ago. Your father had long since escaped the walls of Maria before it fell, he made an honest living being a construction man, and your mother was a nurse who happened to catch his eye when he had a roofing accident. They built a life for themselves within Wall Rose. You weren't the richest family, nor did you have a name that was well known. Nonetheless, you were all hard working. Your brothers worked for the respect they got, one being a weapon maker and the other being a bar keeper was enough for the part of town you were in. Even their wives did well for themselves in being a seamstress and bar waitress. As the youngest, you were loved and cared for. You weren't the most beautiful girl in town, but you turned heads nonetheless, well until one of your brothers decided to glare or promptly hit whoever doted on you too long for their liking.

The people who knew you, thought you were trouble. Mostly the elders spewed of you and your ways of thinking being a disgrace to everything Eldians stood for and bringing only shame to your gender, you were a woman ahead of her time and they couldn't stand it. Like your mother you had entered the medical field, but even when you were small you claimed you would be a doctor one day. You shadowed and worked under the supervision of the town's doctors. Many amused at your antics, some who didn't care about you being a girl and just grateful to leave such responsibility on someone who was genuine in the intent, and others not caring one way or another and not willing to hear your screeching pleads to observe what they did. Your mom had spoken with you more than once about settling with being a doctor's aide, today being no different and you let out a sigh as you looked to your mother's pained expression.

"I just don't understand why you insist on making your life so difficult? It was bad enough when you proudly exclaimed your goals in front of the entire church, but now this?"

You could only look away, looking towards the fields where you saw your third brother grooming the horses. You hadn't said anything bad, you were approached with a job offer that would give you the title and respect you had been desperately craving, and it would bring greater honor to your family...or so you thought before your mother reacted the opposite in which you hoped.

"I will not have any daughter of mine chasing dreams and fantasies off in some other place where no one can protect you. This is a suicide mission and I for one will not stand by and watch you march forward to your downfall."

Your father stood behind your mother, not really saying anything and not even looking at you. You felt especially bad for the commander and captain who stood on either side of you and were bearing witness to the absurd exchange between your family.

"Mrs. Y/L/N, you have to know that if Y/N were to accept this offer, she would never be in the front lines. We have bases located all throughout the walls and she would do what she did best and be our primary doctor." Commander Erwin spoke with such calm words, his demeanor kind and patient.

"So you expect me to let her run off with a bunch of men whose brains are broken from the wars they fought and not worry? She is not even married!"

You grit your teeth so hard upon hearing that, you were sick of the standards put forth on you since your birth. You were sick of the expectations you were in no hurry to reach and you were especially tired of the lack of faith your family had in you to be independent and strong. Your fists clenched and you felt a steady gaze on you.

"I'm not an expert or anything on parenting, nor will I act as if I am, but instead of yelling at her, why don't you try asking your daughter what she wants to do?" You didn't silence the gasp you released, looking at Captain Levi in confusion and admiration.

All eyes turned to you, your mother crossing her arms as if asking you to try and defy her. Erwin looked a bit expectedly and Levi looking indifferent to the entire conversation. It was your father who beat you to it before you could even open your mouth to answer.

"You have a choice, my daughter. If you choose to stay, you'll make your mother and brothers happy. You can continue to help people but you will never be acknowledged as a doctor...but you'll have your family. Or you can choose to leave and live your life to your own accord, but you will lose the respect of the town and your mother will never speak to you again. Are you willing to put yourself above your family?" You expected this from your father, always neutral and never judgmental, what he was saying was true after all. Were you willing to lose your family over your dreams? Would you be able to survive on your own with only the scouts to rely on?

Your head was hurting and your frustration only grew when your brothers decided to come home and after your mother wailing at them about your plans to leave, they were quick to overwhelm you with their own opinions. The commander and captain apologized but they had to leave and return to headquarters.

"Take your time on making your decision. We will come back in a few days for your answer." Commander Erwin told you, giving you a smile as he continued, "I know its a lot to ask you to choose us over your flesh and blood, but if you do. You have my promise that we will protect you, and we may never be able to fully replace your family in your heart, but the scouts will be a family on its own for you."

"Tch," Captain Levi shook his head, "Look brat, you will see and do things that you won't always like. People will die no matter how hard you try to save them, but call Erwin and Hange delusional--they see something in you. Don't walk into this half-assed, if you choose to be our doctor and you choose to take on the title and everything it carries with it, you have to dedicate your heart."

You only nodded. Two days had passed as you walked through the market, the small basket in your hands carried apples and some citrus fruits. Your mother still wasn't talking to you and your brothers seemingly assumed you wouldn't be leaving, only your father knew how frantic your mind was, and one morning he admitted that he would be delighted to have at least one of his children carry the family name on a military standing. So you had his support.

You even spoke to the animal doctor you had been shadowing for the past few weeks, his eyebrows had rose in an impressed matter and he promptly asked when you would be leaving.

"I haven't made a decision, yet." You said.

"You would be an idiot not to take it." Was all he replied before asking you to give the cattle their medicine.

Idiot, huh? You wondered. You knew deep down he was right. Your mind continued to play in endless loops of thought before you heard a commotion to your right. Turning your head you saw a group of men, their huddling seemed a bit more frantic and it was not until one of them yelled that you noticed one man in particular on his knees.

"Help! Someone call a doctor!"

The man on the floor was bleeding rather profusely and you didn't have time to question what happened before you quickly made way.

"Sir, let me see."

"Hey! Woman don't touch him!"

"Make yourself useful and go get a doctor! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I am a doctor." You calmly said, inspecting the gash on his side and seeing the edge of what appeared to be a broken pipe sticking out from the building behind them. The drips if bloods glistening in the sun only confirmed what you thought.

"We were-" The injured man rasped out, "Just horsing around."

"It's okay." You reassured, grabbing a roll of gauze and stack of medical napkins you always kept in your basket. You apologized before applying pressure to the wound, and you heard the patter of rushing feet.

"A doctor is on his way! A real one!" One of the men sneered, and you did your best not to roll your eyes and focus on stopping the bleeding. You asked the man to lie on his back and he surprisingly complied, he didn't seem to care about you being a girl and only seemed thankful to not be alone and scared.

"Do you hear that? Move before you kill him!" The first man hollered, the hand on your shoulder causing you to sharply inhale.

"Excuse me for one moment." You told the man, and you were quick as you hand shot up to grip the disrespectful ass by his wrist and twist it in one fluid motion, you wasted no time in using the building wall as leverage, quickly running up and using his weight to stabilize yourself before you roundhouse kicked him so hard it sent both of you flying back. You landed on one foot, balancing yourself before going back to the patient.

You couldn't deny how satisfying it was to hear the impact, or the groan of pain coming from him. Your eyes met the others.

"If any of you touch me, I'll do exactly what I did to your buddy there, but ten times worse. Now shut the hell up and let me save this man."

Eyes widely stared at you as you resumed caring for the injured, a few minutes passed by the time the doctor got there.

"Oh!" His eyebrows rose, "Hello Y/N, didn't expect to see you here. If I would have known, I wouldn't have left the hospital on its own."

"Hi Dr. Goodwin," You looked up, two fingers on the injured man's wrist and the other held up four fingers from your counting. You blushed slightly from his confidence in you and you noticed the men who bullied you all sport faces of confusion.

"His pulse is stable. I wrapped the wound tightly, but he needs stitches."

"Thank you, miss." The injured man grabbed your hand and you smiled in return.

"Don't mention it."

"Actually, it's Dr. Y/L/N." Dr. Goodwin said, seeing your eyes widen and the smile he gave only made your heart swell that much more.

The doctor nodded, thanking you before asking his helpers to load him to the small gurney they brought. He could only thank you briefly before you waved them off. The other guys had stayed back, eyes wide in disbelief that the doctor not only recognized you, but acknowledged your work.

"Are you a nurse or something?"

"Are you morons deaf? Did you not hear Dr. Goodwin? I'm a doctor too."

The leader seemed to recover from the kick you gave him earlier as his lip curled in an ugly matter, "What kind of sick joke is that? No such thing as a woman doctor."

"Obviously there is if I'm standing right in front of you. Or did my kick knock a few more scews loose?"

Eren was walking buy, noticing the commotion from afar and as a soldier, his instincts to provide help in dire situations kicked in. He elbowed his way to the front. Seeing you standing defiantly in front of five tall muscular men. He stepped forward as the main leader got in your face, but when you shifted your foot, he seemed to coil back. Eren noticed a giant welt on one side of his face and wondered how the hell he got such an ugly bruise. It didn't stop their onslaught.

"Who the hell do you think you are? What makes you think you could do whatever the fuck you want?"

"Because in this world, I'm free to do whatever the fuck I please." Eren watched as your eyes narrowed in further defiance, the smile on your face sickeningly sweet and all he could think about was how he had never seen such a woman.

You hadn't even noticed the audience that gathered, you side stepped the group of men, going as far as waving a goodbye with a breathy giggle, you picked up your basket. You had a small hop to your step and despite not caring to even spare a glance to the onlookers, your eyes met a pair of pretty green ones. The prominent bone structure made you think, "Wow."

However, the tall muscular body you did a once over on had you follow that thought with, "Oh damn."

Eren seemed dumbfounded, your obviousness in checking him out made him flush. He had never felt self-conscious over his body. He knew even before he hit puberty that he would do well to grow muscles and abs, the necessary type of figure to have if one were to be a soldier of the scouts. He knew it was also something some females found attractive in the opposite sex but it's not like he ever had time to date much less dwell on what girls liked. Seeing the way you looked at him though, he couldn't deny that he silently hoped for your approval.

When you finally met his eyes once more, you had him floored when he saw you drop a wink at him.

The crowd murmuring as they watched you go made his own eyebrows furrow in confusion. He stepped to one of the members and demanded an explanation.

"Honestly, the little lady was crazy! She came in here claiming to be a doctor and helped patch up a guy who got cut by the pipe over there. Instead of waiting for a real doctor, she made a whole fuss."

"Where's the guy?"

"Dr. Goodwin picked him up. That doctor is mad too, he also said she was a doctor, but that's ridiculous. No woman can be a doctor. That's so many levels of wrong."

Eren felt the urge to punch the man in the mouth, but one glance at the ugly bruise his friend sported reminded him,

"What happened to your face?"

The leader grumbled a bunch of profanities, "That little bitch. I tried to get her off before she messed the guy up anymore and she kicked me."

"In your face?" Eren sounded impressed, and he was when he received a nod of confirmation.

He looked to the direction which you disappeared in and said fine words to the group, "Whether you men like it or not. The world is changing, everyone is free to be who they want. If women can join the military no problem, they can be doctors too."

He saluted before rushing off, not hearing the mutters of annoyance from the men. In all honestly, Eren had no clue on what he was doing.

You were scrubbing off the blood from under your fingernails near a fountain when you hear the shuffle of feet from behind you. You silently hoped it wasn't any of those morons asking for more trouble, but you were pleasantly surprised when your eyes met a pair of green ones from before.

"I'm Eren." You smiled at him, nodding and your smile turned quirked when he stuttered in, "Yeager. Eren Yeager."

Hmm, you had thought, His name suits him. You studied his demeanor, not missing the gear strapped to either sides of his hips or the green hood covering his shoulders. You knew immediately that he was a scout and you wondered if he knew Captain Levi. Before you got the courage to ask him, he beat you to it.

"What did you mean by what you said earlier? Do you really think that? That we're all free to do anything we want here?"

You smiled as you nodded, walking towards a vendors stand and Eren fell into step beside you, you felt nervous around him, but also safe with his company. He watched you as you picked up another apple to inspect.

"We have laws and rules though...so we're not technically all the way free?"

"I'm free to be me, just as you are free to be you...Eren...Yeager."

It was the way the sun hit your face in that moment, highlighting your strong cheekbones and giving a special glint in your eyes that made Eren want to hear your thoughts more. He spent the rest of the day asking you questions, never satisfied with the small responses you gave him and he even walked you home. The mean glare from your mother confused him beyond belief and it was your father's words that made you gasp in surprise that night.

"He's the titan shifter, the one who helped plug up wall Rose."

Your face had turned red in embarrassment, you were talking so casually to a literal titan and you even flirted with him. He even held your basket the entire trip to your house and you didn't even consider how informal you acted with your skirt. You had hitched one of them up your thigh to get better footing and hadn't missed the way Eren blushed at seeing so much skin. You knew the girls in the scouts wore pants, but even then they kept covered.

You were certain Eren wanted nothing else to do with a girl who held little to no morals, but you were caught by pleasant surprise when you saw him with Erwin and Levi the next day in town.

His eyes had immediately found yours and you didn't miss the blush on his cheeks as he gave you a small wave. You couldn't but laugh when Captain Levi suddenly kicked him.

"Who's got you turning red brat?"

"Uh-it's nothing, captain."

He didn't look convinced as you gathered the courage to approach. Erwin acknowledged your presence which Eren was grateful for, but his eyebrows still came down in confusion on how the commander knew your name.

"Y/N!" Erwin gave a polite smile which you returned, "So great to see you. We were actually just about to stop by your house."

"Really? What a coincidence, I was hoping to stop by headquarters today as well." Your smile was bright, and by the way the air around you seemed cheerful, Erwin returned your energy.

"Bearing good news I hope?" He still hesitantly asked.

You nodded as you laughed, "I would love to accept the offer if it still stands."

"Of course it does," Captain Levi scoffed, his arms were folded across his chest. You noted for the first time the soft grey color of his eyes and despite the deep scowl he was currently showing, he had chubby cheeks that made you want to squish, "We wouldn't be coming all this way for nothing."

"I thought we were coming to collect a new scout, Captain Levi." Eren asked, you felt yourself blush in realization that he had no clue it was actually you they were referring to.

"We are," Levi grabbed you by your arm and yanked you towards him as he pointed at you while looking at Eren like he was an idiot, "Meet the scout's new doctor. Dr. Y/L/N meet Eren-"

"Yeager." You finished, smiling towards Eren, "We've met."

Erwin and Levi exchanged looks as they watched you and Eren smiled at each other like a pair of idiots, the realization dawning over them and Erwin couldn't fight the smirk that crossed his face. Small world, he thought.

Six months had passed since the first fateful encounter you had with Eren. You had long since moved out of your home and besides the occasional secret letter from your father, you hadn't heard nor seen the rest of your family since your decision to become a doctor for the scouts.

It was a transition to go through as you lost one family and gained a new one, but everyone was so accepting and welcoming. The girls welcomed you with open arms, most notably was Sasha whose habit of eating everything and anything brought her to the infirmary on more than one occasion, Connie usually followed right behind her with a minor injury resulting from his carelessness. You had met Floch when he brought Jean in from a sparring session gone wrong and he immediately took a liking to you. Your level-headedness was like a breath of fresh air to him as he was constantly sorrounded by people he thought were idiots. Jean liked your confidence (The fact that you were easy on the eyes, didn't hurt either), Mikasa respected the way you didn't hesitate to put people in their place, and Armin admired that despite your obvious toughness, you were a kind and patient doctor who never turned anyone away. You were diligent and hard-working, yet your smile was always able to uplift any sour mood and you always put your best foot forward. The one time he had puked all over your hospital floor from eating too much undercooked meat was embarrassing for him, he thought for sure you were going to be angry and call him an idiot. Instead, you took his temperature, put a cold cloth on his head (despite his titan status guaranteeing a speedy recovery), and started a healthier diet plan for him. Armin was scheduled a weekly checkup with you, partly to ensure he was listening and partly for you to study him a bit more. Your research on the titan's ability to regenerate and recover from even the worst injuries was fascinating for you, you hoped to isolate the genes and figure out a way to maybe trigger it in regular Eldians without setting off the titan ability, the fact that Eren made it a habit to accompany Armin didn't hurt either.

Eren had grown attached to you, whenever he wasn't busy or in need of a place to hide from Captain Levi's wrath or Hange's insistence to poke and prod him, he would be hanging out around you or in your office. At one point you had to hide him under your desk when Commander Erwin stopped by to hold a meeting with you about providing first aid training to the scouts for excursions. You were always welcomed to accompany them outside the walls, but your work was enough to make you stay. You recalled the way Eren was pressed against your legs, the feel of his hands steadying himself on your calves and when your skirt had shifted up when you reached for one of the records, you felt Eren brush his fingertips along the muscle. You had stammered the rest of the meeting through and smacked him afterwards for putting you in such a compromising position. You were blushing furiously at the way he gave such a boyish grin and even that night while he walked you to your small cottage, he had a satisfied smile in place.

You always knew you liked Eren, you were also hopeful that the feeling was mutual. The both of you had grown close over the course of your stay, as the head doctor you were given your own living quarters, not too far from headquarters but not so close to the city that you would be given a hard time. Your cottage was fair in size and with the amount of income you were receiving, you were quick to furnish and decorate it to your liking. Eren had even helped by adding his own touches to the interior. The times you would go to the city with him was always met with many curious stares. Your age and gender made many turn heads when you walked in, the fact that you were the youngest and by far prettiest doctor the scouts had ever had made people naturally gravitate to you. Your ability to make friends quickly also made it that almost every weekend you were entertaining guests at your house. Sometimes it would be dinner with Sasha, Niccolo, and Connie. Other times you would be knitting and embroidering with Mikasa and Armin, there was even game nights with everyone until Jean and Eren became too competitive with one another. Other times when the higher ups had meetings (All of which you had to attend since you technically held an officer position within the military branch) you would offer your house where you all shared cups of tea and your famous baked goods. You had even seen Captain Levi grab seconds on your sugar cookies.

It was the times when Eren would swing by alone that caused your heart to flutter, he would walk you home almost every night now. At first he would find the poorest excuses to see you like needing a bandaid for his wrist from the biting (even though by the time you gave him the gauze it would be healed over completely) or try to "casually" be around the area when you would get out at three in the morning. Eventually your amusement turned to you asking him to walk you home every night under the guise that you were afraid of being targeted or hurt, even though everyone had seen you body-slam Reiner the one time he tried to hit on you when you were stitching up his eyebrow from an ugly gash. Nonetheless, Eren accepted. You would invite him in for tea every time and he would even bring you lunch on days he failed to see you in the cafeteria. It seemed like everyone under the sun knew about you and Eren's crushes on one another, so it was also a pain in the ass that neither of you had yet to make a move on one another. Even Erwin had assumed you two were together the one morning he stopped by your house on your day off to ask for your aid for a soldier who had broken their arm from a training exercise, his eyes had grown wide upon seeing you open the door in only your nightgown, you were rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you invited him in for breakfast.

Upon walking in, he immediately saw Eren exiting your bathroom in his casual jeans, his hair was wet and sticking up from the steam of the shower. Eren wasn't wearing a shirt and before Erwin could excuse himself completely you quickly explained how you hadn't wanted him to walk outside so late so he slept on your couch. You were washing his clothes and had left them out to dry and Erwin could only nod and stop himself from suggesting for Eren to bring spare clothes to yours, remembering that it wasn't his place to push or even encourage his team's doctor and titan-shifter to date even though by the way he saw you put jelly on Eren's toast while he made your cup of tea with three sugars was enough for him to almost just order the two of you to date. Instead, he gave a long rant to Levi, wondering aloud whether Eren was either oblivious to your affections or just an idiot, Levi only replied with, "Did you happen to bring any of the toast she made?"...he did and Levi later on answered, "He's just an idiot." while licking the excess jelly off his fingers.

It was another day at headquarters, the mid-summer day was hot and since the flow of traffic had been slow inside the infirmary, you found yourself mostly in the officer's lounge. You had opted to wear a long sleeve empire waist dress, the top had ruffles along your collar and the soft pink of the dress complimented your skin tone. It fell around mid-thigh and the black shoes you wore with them completed your overall look. Eren had stared at your bare legs for a while until he noted your haircut. You had only cut off the ends but your heart did a flip as you blushed from him noticing. You had been chatting with Hange about your research while Moblit spoke to Eren about the new set of routes to be taken during their next trip beyond the walls when Captain Levi walked in. Hange waved him over and he fell easily beside you.

"Hey." His arm brushing against yours and you hummed in response, leaning a bit towards him which didn't go unnoticed by Eren.

"Levi, did you take your medicine this morning?" About two weeks ago you had caught the captain asleep at his desk for the fourth time. You knew he overworked himself and refused to sleep in his bed no matter how many therapeutic pillows you got him, but while he was out like a light you decided to check his blood pressure, only to find it alarmingly high. You figured the amount of stress and cups of caffeinated tea were to blame. Levi kept in good shape, but considering his age and the fact that he never even considers laughing, you prescribed him medications to be take every morning and cut him off from his usual tea leaves. The former was easier to push as the calcium and magnesium capsules were easy to swallow, it was getting rid of all the tins in his desk that made him a bit unbearable to the new recruits.

He let out an annoyed grunt as he nodded. Your smile was soft as you put an encouraging hand on his arm and Eren was officially not listening to Moblit anymore.

"Thanks for sticking to your diet, Captain Levi. As a token of my appreciation, I got you these." You didn't let him reply, quick to act as always as you reached into the small basket you had brought and grabbed his hand to put the gray tin of loose leaves that you took out in his palm.

As usual, the captain was unfazed by your lack of appreciation for personal space. The past few weeks had done well to teach him how despite being yelled at, threatened, and even outright ignored at times, your cheeriness was impossible to diminish and you did whatever the heck you wanted even when it was at times impulsive.

"What is it?" He looked between you and the tin, the slight sneer on his upper lip making you release a giggle before you tapped the bow you tied on it.

"It's tea leaves." He raised a slim eyebrow which made you roll your eyes, "Decaffeinated tea."

"Let me guess, it tastes like shit." His eyes flickered to the purple bow, "Or it'll make me shit."

You laughed, you upper body leaning on his as you attempted to catch your breath. The joke wasn't that funny but the face he made was. You giggled as you shook your head and Hange watched in bemusement as you elaborated,

"It's the tea I always serve and judging by the three cups you had last time, I'm positive you'll like it."

Levi let out a nod, he hadn't even noticed that the tea you served had no caffeine but the heavy notes of honey in it probably explained its sweetness. He gave a quiet thank you before his scowl returned,

"So that's why I was on the crapper all night after the last meeting."

"With a potty mouth like that, it's not wonder you don't have a girlfriend." You deadpanned.

"I feel bad for the poor bastard who falls in love with you."

You let out a small tsk, smiling at him and hoping Eren heard as you said, "Well that depends if he admits he feels the same way."

Captain Levi quirked an eyebrow at you, his eyes knowing and you blushed under his stare. Your fingers fiddling behind your back and Eren hated the way Levi suddenly chuckled at you. His smile was a rarity and to have him giving it to you only meant one thing to Eren; the captain liked you.

"So there is someone you like? Who's the poor brat?"

When you were about to make another snide remark, Hange cut in and excused herself and Moblit.

"As fascinating as this is, there's a captured titan waiting my arrival and if I don't get to use this research Dr. Y/L/N just gave me before nightfall, I will lose my mind."

"I hadn't heard of us ever finding it to begin with." Levi sighed, taking a lock of your hair between his fingers and letting the curl bounce back before he excused himself to tag along with them.

"Someone's got to make sure four eyes doesn't get killed."

"That's why Moblit is going with her." You noted.

"And who do you think will make sure Moblit doesn't get killed?" He smiled once more, "Laters doc."

You waved goodbye to the three, the door clicking behind them and you turned to see Eren with his arms crossed. He was pouting like a child and you wondered what his deal was. You figured with your earlier comment, he would be over the moon to hear you hinting at liking him. You skipped up to him, getting on the tips of your toes as you poked his cheek.

"What's the matter? You look like a scolded child."

"Nothing." He muttered, looking away as his jaw clenched and you only poked him once more.

"Liar." You called him out, "Talk to me."

"You didn't answer Captain Levi's question."

You were sure that there was a giant question mark on top of your head, the gear in your mind shifting as you tried to recall what the captain asked before your mouth opened in realization. You couldn't help but smile as you looked down at Eren's shoes and he only seemed to grow angrier as he watched you blush.

"About my crush? Oh! Well I wouldn't call him a brat, but I guess his attitude could often warrant that title. He's got this sort of this determined mentality that I guess some people can find...overbearing." You played with the cuff of your dress, "But I personally find it charming."

"So he's charming?"

You hummed as you smiled, "He's a bit rough around the edges, but he always means well. He's easy on the eyes too. Got really nice hair and pretty colored eyes that makes me swoon around him. Not to mention his body looks like Zeus could be his father." To add emphasis, your body leaned side to side as you laughed.

Eren snorted, his eyes rolling as he thought of any guy he knew that was like you described. All he could think of was Captain Levi and Erwin. He hated to think of Levi as charming, but he was rough all around. Erwin had eyes that Historia had once described as pretty, but to think of you being attracted to someone as old as him made his stomach flip.

"Want to head back to my office?" You suggested, not wanting to leave Eren's side until he figured it out but also not wanting to stick around in case other officers walked in. You got a stiff nod and wanted to giggle when Eren still opened the door for you. As the both of you walked through the large building, you added a hop to your step as you continued,

"He's also such a gentleman. He respects me, he's never intimidated by my sharp wit, always opens doors for me, waits until I'm sitting before he starts eating, and he almost seems proud of me being a doctor. He's just so understanding and sure of himself as a man that I guess the idea of having a girlfriend in my position would never make him feel inferior." You turned to look at Eren sideways and noticed his shoulders hunched, you knew it was cruel how you kept teasing him but were hopeful that it would click for him soon, so you went on.

"Wow, sounds like a real keeper." He grumbled, now thinking of Jean or even Connie. Armin was too occupied with Annie and Reiner was too obsessed with Historia to hang around you. There was no way Beruto/Borrito/Bertoto would catch your eye as you had made it a point to always get his name wrong, but Connie made you laugh and Jean was always extra nice to you.

"I'm telling you, I think he's perfect. He's dependable, strong, and we share so many of the same ideas. I could talk to him for hours and never be bored and when I'm not with him, I feel...sad. I just constantly want to be by his side and if I'm not I want him to be thinking about me because that's exactly what I do."

You both entered your office, you walked up to your desk as you spoke, turning around and leaning against it to look at Eren. He had closed your door a little harder than necessary, the wood shaking against the frame as he crossed his arms and leaned his back on the door. He looked downright irritated and you bit your lip to keep from laughing.

"So why haven't you told him?"

You shrugged, "I think I've been pretty obvious about it, I'm always smiling when he's in the room, I always want to be with him, there's never a day where we don't walk together. I even wore this dress for him today."

You waved down at your figure, Eren's eyes looked over you twice and you jumped up on your desk, your thighs parting as you let the short skirt cover your panties and barely cover the tops of your thighs.

"I'm sure he'll love it." Eren spit out.

"I don't know..." You tilted your head, "Do you?"

Eren pushed himself off the door, going to your bookcase and letting his fingers brush the spines of the books, "It doesn't matter what I think. I'm not Mr. Pretty eyes. Sounds like a simpleton to me."

You let out an actual deep sigh and Eren met you with furrowed brows.

"What?"

"You're so fucking dense, Eren."

"What did I say?" He threw his hands up, "Just because I called him simple? I'm so sorry I don't care to hear you go on and on about this guy. I never thought I'd see you bend over backwards for some guy who opens doors for you. I thought you would have higher standards than that."

You let out a snort, "Keep talking Yeager, and I just might higher them."

"I mean I never thought looks would be so important to you. It's so-"

"So what?" Your tongue had a sharp edge that did not go unnoticed by Eren. He stood only a few feet from your desk, but you saw the awkward shift in his posture.

"Shallow." He spit out.

"Excuse me?" You gave him a look that said if he wouldn't apologize in the next ten seconds, he would surely live to regret it.

"What I mean is...what guy could possibly have this head over heels and you're just now telling me? I thought...I thought we-" He stopped, looking to the side and you relaxed before saying,

"We what, Eren?"

"I thought we had something special." He muttered. He looked to see your mouth opened in a small gasp and he began to turn to exit when you quietly beckoned him over.

"Eren...come here."

"No, I should g-"

"Please." You begged and the look in your eyes brought him to stand in front of you. Your hands reached for his shirt, yanking him forward and you hooked your legs around his calves. Eren gaped at you, not knowing what to do and say as you put one hand on his shoulder and the other cupped his cheek.

"You are such a dumbass." You laughed, "The person I've been going on and on about, that simpleton you bashed, is you. It's always been you, Eren."

It was like watching a light flicker on very very slowly, but once it was on you watched as embarrassment flooded Eren. His smile was sheepish and stupid as he stuttered over his words. His hands rested on your hips and you stroked his face from his temple to jaw as you asked,

"Do you maybe feel the same way?"

You didn't get a verbal answer, the sudden kiss Eren laid on you was an answer enough. His lips were soft and warm as they moved against your own, his tongue enveloped yours and you felt him lean more onto you. The moan that slipped out his mouth when you bit his bottom lip made something tighten in your stomach.

When you two finally broke apart you didn't miss the trail of saliva that connected the two of you and you whimpered for more. The second kiss was heavier, a clash of teeth and tongues as Eren feverishly wrestled to touch you everywhere his hands could reach. You felt him press against your core, the loud gasp you let out made him look at you in concern.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll stop if you want me to."

You shook your head as you met those green eyes that held you captive since day one, "More. I want more."

The smirk was something you had never seen, his eyes became half-lidded as Eren kissed your nose. Then your chin, then your neck. When he reached your collar, his finger hooked onto the top of your dress, pulling the fabric down as he kissed just above your breast.

"She wants more." He said to himself, the soft rasp in his voice made you attempt to close your legs. His hands pushed what little that had covered your legs up and Eren's fingers brushed your core.

The jump you gave made his smirk grow, "I haven't even touched you yet."

He saw the small patch of dampness on your panties, and before you could ask him what he was doing, you let out a sharp gasp when his fingers pushed the fabric to the side and he plunged two fingers into your pussy.

The moan he ripped from you was like music to his ears and as he began to slowly pump his fingers in and out he watched as your face became hot and red. It was uncomfortable as first, you could even say it hurt but that didn't stop you from rocking your hips up to meet his eager hands. You weren't entirely prepared as you felt a bit tense as Eren kissed your neck, the suckling on your flesh making small breathy whimpers leave your mouth. His other hand's fingers hovered over the buttons on the back of your dress and his eyes asked for permission as he glanced up at you.

A small tentative nod was all he received before he took out his hand from between your legs, his tongue skillfully licking the digits cleaned and you didn't think you would find such an act so erotic. You arm hooked around his neck as you brought him down to a kiss, you could taste yourself on his lips as he kissed you back eagerly, his fingers skillfully working the buttons on your dress and you wondered for a brief moment if he had ever done such an act before. You pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to lose focus or confidence while in the middle of being with Eren by letting unnecessary insecure creep into your heart. As if being able to read your mind, Eren said-

"Stop being in your head," A hard kiss against your lips, "Be here with me."

His nose rubbed sweetly against yours, fingers tilting your head up as you gave a hesitant nod. Your eyes wanted to focus anywhere but his eyes and you could felt warmth spread across your cheeks when the sleeves of your dress fell down your arms. The idea of letting Eren see all of you was as exciting as it was nerve-wrecking, the most he ever saw was your legs and back from that one time you walked out of the bath in only a towel. Seeing him shirtless was not new but you still felt your breath catch in your throat as you watched him yank the material off. Your hands explored the newly exposed skin, fingers dipping in every curve of muscle and your hand rested just above the waistband of his jeans. You noticed his breathing grow heavy, Eren's head falling forward on your exposed shoulder where you felt him nip and suck on the soft flesh. You returned the favor by kissing him on the chest, your eyes still casted downwards as you fumbled with the buckle on his belt, you let out a small curse from how hard your hands were shaking and Eren placed a gentle hand on top of yours, his eyes alight with amusement as his lips curved into a soft smile.

"Baby, relax." He murmured, he pushed your hands aside as he took over the task. You let out a deep breath as you heard the sound of his zipper being tugged down and you decided to be bold. You lowered the upper half of your dress, the cotton falling off your arms with ease and you blushed furiously once you remembered that you hardly ever wore bras and today was no different.

Your nipples were taut as you shivered from the cold air in your office and Eren stared at you in wonder his eyes raking your body as you looked to the side and brought your bottom lip in between your teeth.

"Fuck, can I touch you?" Eren blurted, his hands still near his trousers and you giggled when he added a last second, "Please."

Nodding, you figured it was time to stop feeling so shy. You had been dreaming about this moment for months, yet as the man you loved stood before you, eager to be with you, all you could think about was how scared you were that you wouldn't be enough to satisfy him.

One more glance at the way he watched you was enough for you to think, If he really didn't, he wouldn't be looking at me as if I put all the stars in the sky.

You felt the second wind of confidence hit you and you took Eren by surprise as you hooked your fingers on his belt loops and tugged the fabric down. You palmed him through the thin material of his briefs and his hips jerked from the contact before he melted against you. Lowering the elastic, your small hand wrapped itself around his shaft and you took a moment to admire his dick. It was something new and foreign to you, for a moment you wondered if all male penises looked like that but you pushed that thought aside as you found yourself not really wanting to ever know, as long as Eren's would be the only one you saw. You hand moved up and down, your thumb brushing across his tip as you swiped some of the liquid leaking out to use as lube.

You knew he was a few inches above average, the thickness was also enough to make you worry for a moment whether he would be able to fit in you as his fingers struggling to push inside of you were of any indication of how tight your body was. Either way you were determined to satisfy the both of you, the idea of him using you and watching his face come apart as he milked himself dry using only your pussy had your head feeling fuzzy with want. He rested his head on you, causing your body to lean back and you pressed one palm on your desk behind you and the other jerked him off a bit sloppily. His moans filled the space of your office, you secretly prayed to the gods that the scouts could be smart enough for once to not be injured or to be able to at least handle it themselves and your eyes flickered to the door for a moment.

"Eren," You murmured to the shell of his ear, his heavy breaths fanning across the span of your chest and you felt both your bodies getting hot. "The door, we need to lock the door."

His groan was the only response you got as he trailed kisses up your neck and shoulder, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, he was such a guy sometimes. You began to lower yourself from the desk before his hand on your leg suddenly halted your movements and he gave you a lazy smile, his half lidded eyes softly rolling as he let out an obnoxious groan of annoyance.

"I'll do it." He didn't even bother to tuck himself back into his briefs, his dick fully erect as he made way to your door. You felt your hand falling to your side and you bit your lip as you thought about what you wanted to do twice before letting your own hand push the fabric of your underwear to the side once more. You rubbed at your clit lazily as you softly moaned, your eyes closing at the sensation and you smiled when you heard the soft, "Shit." coming from a few feet ahead of you. Eren's eyes were transfixed on you, the way your head rolled back as your moans became louder and higher pitched was making him painfully hard and he wanted-no needed to be inside of you before he was sure he would come right then and there.

Your eyes were still closed when you felt him settle between your legs once more, eyes hazy and smile lazy as you felt him tug your panties down your legs. Your ass lifted briefly to help and you giggled when he grunted in annoyance from having to shuffle backwards to slip them off completely. He laughed with you as his hand cupped you by your jaw, lips finding yours in a tender kiss and the hand that had been rubbing at your clit was used to steady yourself by his shoulder. His muscles flexed under your touch and your breaths intermingled as he stared at you with such an intensity that you felt your stomach flip. You looked down to where he rubbed his length along your folds and gulped.

"I-I'm nervous." You admitted, cheeks blushing and Eren kissed your temple.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you. Do you trust me?" You gasped at the intensity in his eyes, Eren Yeager was one who never beat around the bush and you felt tears pool around your eyes as you nodded. Everything leading up to this moment overwhelmed you suddenly, losing your family, gaining your dream job, becoming independent so quickly, and falling in love with a man who turned into what so many feared but who let you place` flower crowns on his head during tea parties. He continued to maintain eye contact with you, your lips parting and eyes partly closing as he began to push past your labia. It all felt too much, but you wouldn't want to be anywhere else in that exact moment Eren pressed his tip into your passageway. There was a bit of resistance and the guttural moan he released made your eyes widen in an audible gasp, he looked ethereal with reddened cheeks, a slacked opened jaw, eyes that looked close to tears, and thin layer of sweat making his dark brown locks stick to his forehead.

He pushed another inch in, trying his best to not act too quickly or too harshly. All he wanted to do was fucking ruin you. Mark you as his by impregnating you and watching as you took every drop of his semen. It seemed you wanted it too as your hips jerked forward and took in another inch.

"Eren, please." You had no idea what you were asking for, he was being slow and gentle and as much as you appreciated his mindfulness, it had been six long months and if you had to go through another night of humping your pillow or rubbing one out with only fantasies of Eren touching you (Sometimes even Levi, depending on how much alcohol you had consumed) you were gong to scream.

Another inch and a deep chuckle was his response. Your eyes were set ablaze as the realization that he was teasing you.

"Please what baby?"

"Give it to me." You whispered, your hand tugging at his hair harshly and the hiss of pain he released was simultaneous when he completely thrusted his entire length into you. Your thighs jerked at the sudden intrusion and the cry you let out was loud enough that if anybody were nearby, the would have assumed someone struck you. Your hand smacked against his chest, your breath ragged as you attempted to give Eren an angry glance but your pussy betrayed you as it clenched hard around him.

You both released a gasp when Eren fully bottomed out inside you. His hips flush against your parted thighs and your foreheads pressed against one another, lips brushing but not kissing yet as you two came to terms of what was being done. You and Eren were one, there was no going back from what was about to transpire and you silently prayed that he wouldn't regret it later.

"Stop being in your head," He murmured against your mouth, eyes looking into yours, "Be here..."

He gave a heavenly thrust and you felt his arms wrap themselves around your waist as he forced you to fall back onto your desk with a small uff and your hands fell onto his shoulders. Your legs locked around his waist and the new angle caused him to be deeper inside you, but he continued to stare at your with that same admiration from that day he had met you.

"With me."

You nodded slowly, kissing Eren for what felt like the first time. A bit shyly and unsure as your mouth moved against his slowly, you savored the taste of tea and something sweet from his tongue and you let one of your hands hold him by his face as the other found solace in his hair.

Eren began to thrust into you, the rhythm a bit off at first as you two tried to find what worked and when he dipped his hips a little and heard the string of filthy words leaving your mouth, he gave a knowing smirk.

"Hmm, right there princess?"

You panted, your tongue lolling out as his began to go faster. One of your hands shot out to the side to brace yourself on something when Eren began to fuck you harder and instead you turned to see you hand knocked your bottle of ink over, the deep blue liquid was spilling everywhere but before you could let your brain process the mess, Eren began to suck on the flesh of your neck that you exposed when you moved your head. You moaned as you closed your eyes at the overwhelming sensations of it all, your hands grabbing at the muscles in his back and you arched your own and pressed your chest into him.

"Oh fuck," Eren moaned out, "This pussy is so good. You're taking me so well, princess."

"Yeah?" You panted out, "Going to cum in me, baby?"

Eren picked himself up on his forearms, too preoccupied with how pretty your tits looks bouncing with each thrust to notice the your hair was sprawled all over and the upper part of his arm was touching something wet, he figured it was the sweat you two were producing with your coupling.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant, make you mine forever."

"I'm yours!" You screamed as his hips slammed particularly harder down onto your own.

"Choke me, make me a mommy, cum in me, just please don't stop fucking me." You cried out, and a new sort of excitement showed in his eyes, his hand cupped just below your jaw and the light pressure he put on you made you moan louder.

The sounds of skin smacking, panting breaths, and heavy moans filled the air. Eren coaxing you to come all over his dick as you begged him to not pull out of you echoed of the walls of your office. You went on like that for a good while and you giggled in realization that your silent wish for everyone to leave the two of you alone for a while had come true.

Unbeknownst to you two, there had almost been three interruptions. The first being Captain Levi who wanted to ask if mixing his blood pressure medicine with wine would be too dangerous, but when he heard you scream he almost barged in before the unmistakable moan that followed made him fully come to a halt. He didn't even think twice about what was transpiring, briefly remembering that Eren was in fact with you this morning before quickly turning around and hauled ass as far from the hallway as he could. He wasn't sure where he was heading before he stumbled into Erwin's office, the commander looking up to see his captain look like he just ran a marathon.

"Levi? You look like you just saw a ghost?" His eyebrows creased, "Are you okay?"

"Yeager isn't as dense as we thought."

Eren stood to his full height, grabbing at your ankles and moving your legs onto his shoulders to they were fully parallel to his body. You let out another giggle at how your ankles were now on either side of his head, but the small kiss he gave your right one made you let out a noise of adoration. He gripped your hips, smiling as he noted the streaks of something blue all over your chest and neck but decided against telling you as your pussy began to pulsate around him. There was no way in hell he was going to stop you from orgasming.

The second time was Sasha and Connie as they wanted to ask if eating candies with the wrapper still on was anything they needed to worry about, but the sounds of your desk scraping across the floor with Eren commending you for being a good girl and taking him so well made the both of them stare at each other with wide eyes. The "Huh?"'s they exchanged were amusing to anyone else and Sasha grabbed Connie by the collar before they hightailed out of there. Connie wanting to see if Eren had really been capable of pulling you and Sasha calling it bullshit and stating that the real reason was that he wanted to see you naked.

His thrusts became wild and sloppy, the slushing sounds you two were making was the hottest sounds you ever heard. You held onto his wrists, your smile wide and beautiful and Eren knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

"I'm not gonna last long," He let you know, you nodded as you reached down to rub your clit in circles.

"Fuck, you look so hot." He blurted, his cheeks a deeper red and you gave him another soft smile.

"Thanks, baby. You too." His abs were going to be the death of you and you hoped you would get the chance to suck him off later to lick them one by one in foreplay.

You felt him begin to twitch in you and you knew you were so close, your rubbing speeding up as Eren's thrusts were becoming more sporadic. The way his eyes began to roll upwards had you chanting,

"I'm-I'm cumming!" Your moan was breathy and high as you felt your release overwhelm your senses, you felt euphoria as you moaned so loud that Jean and Floch who didn't believe Connie when he said that Eren had managed to bed you stared at each other with wide eyes and gaped mouths as they stood outside your door. Their cheeks red as they rushed down the hallway as if their asses were on fire, not even halfway down the stairs when they felt their collars yanked at so harshly they almost trampled down, Captain Levi's glare knowing as he began to reprimand them for being nosy pricks.

Eren's cock dove into you hard and you felt him pulsate as he shot long ropes of cum into you, his essence overflowing as he filled you to the brim and painted your insides white.

His moan was unbelievably loud and low, the "I love you." That followed didn't go unnoticed by you and the smile he gave, made you realize how much he meant it.

"I love you." Your answered back, he pushed your thighs to your chest when he lowered himself to kiss you. His cock softening inside you and he slowed his thrusts down and milked himself dry. He tapped his tip on your sensitive clit, making sure he was empty before tucking himself back into his boxers and jeans. The creampie in you was beginning to ooze out and he used his two fingers to push it back in, your hips bucking at the intrusion and you whined about your sensitivity.

You sat up, your hand going to fix your hair, only groaning slightly when you felt the ink on some strands already drying. You huffed before jumping down and fixing your dress. Eren was putting his shirt back on, his back slightly turned to you and your eyes widened in embarrassment at seeing the blue ink in what was obviously your finger prints streaked all over. You looked down and saw that it had well faded from your hands, transferring to your lover who put on his jacket. You shrugged, figuring no one would see it and you could wash your hands later. Your hair would be a bit tricky to explain but you would be home to shower soon anyway, which reminded you-

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" You blurted, scaring Eren as his eyes widened, you bit the inside of your cheek and fumbled with your fingers.

He smiled, walking up to you and kissing you on the lips before replying, "I would love to. I have to do some work today, and pack an overnight bag but I'll be home by dinner." His eyes looked you over, stifling a laugh when he saw the marks of blue ink on your neck, debating on telling you but not being able to deny how cute they looked on you, a gentle reminder of what happened just moments ago and an odd turn on for him to think of it as him marking you as his, the lovebite also on the side making him watch you with love.

You nodded before giving a follow-up question, "Chicken or fish?"

"Fish." He nodded, you grabbed a few papers from your desk drawer and Eren asked if you were all set before taking your hand into his as the two of you began to walk out the office, you mentioned having to speak to Erwin about the cadet recovering from a broken limb and Eren listened patiently, your hands swinging in between the two of you and you both relished at how easy it felt to transition into a life of domestication together. He walked you to Erwin's office, his knuckles knocking on the door before a loud, "One minute!" replied.

You both shared a look of confusion before shrugging and stepping to the side. You fixing his hair and Eren's hand resting on top of your hips when the office door opened. You both turned to see Jean and Floch who sported sullen faces, their arms swinging in front of them as if they were children just denied a cone of ice cream.

"Boys?" You called, your free hand interlocking with Eren who stood in place as you took a step toward the pair. "Everything alright?"

They looked between you and Eren, Jean seeing the ink marks on your neck and seeing Eren's hair haphazard was enough to make him look to the floor, his cheeks reddening and Eren could only smirk. Floch was the opposite, he couldn't take his eyes off you as his face held a permanent grimace and you wondered if he was constipated.

"Baby," Eren called, tugging you back to him and Jean scoffed, Possessive ass is already showing her off. He thought to himself.

"They just got yelled at by Erwin, whatever they did was obviously bad, just leave them be."

You nodded in understanding, giving them a comforting smile and Floch didn't miss the knowing look in Eren's eyes.

"Sorry to hear about that. If you two ever need anything, you know where my office is."

"Yeah, that's the problem." Captain Levi's voice came from the doorway. Jean and Floch mumbled a quick goodbye before scurrying away and you couldn't help but fall into deeper confusion.

The captain and Eren exchanged looks before Eren bent to kiss your cheek.

"I got to go. I'll see you later, princess." You blushed at the nickname and public display, murmuring a soft okay in reply as your boyfriend? walked away from you.

You gave Levi a smile which he didn't return, you didn't miss the small blush on his cheeks and you figured it was from seeing such intimacy from Eren. You were almost positive Levi was still a virgin. Walking into Erwin's office, you all but skipped the man's desk, falling beside him and giving him a bright smile which he returned.

"Hey Erwin, just wanted to update you on the cadet's recovery plan. He should be back in training in a few months if he listens to my instructions, think you can help me?"

"Sure what do you need?"

"Well, I'd need you to sign these release forms first." You shrugged putting the papers in front of him, you looked at his desk and grabbed the pen, "Where's your ink?"

The chuckle the two men gave you made your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What?"

"Seems like you're wearing it, Doc." Levi's eyes flickered to your neck.

You let out a gasp and your hands slapped to cover you and the laughs that followed only made you blush furiously.

Dammit, You thought, Eren you idiot.

[rodr1cks]

Sick Day | 2.1k

fluff!! you’re sick and rodrick comes to the rescue.

warnings: vomit, being sick in general

All day you had been feeling extremely ill. The nurse at school was being impossible and refused to send you home, despite your pleas.

“Please Mrs. Williams, I feel terrible you have to believe me!”

She was extremely skeptical, “Child, do you know how many times I hear that in a day? You don’t have a fever, back to class.”

And just like that, you were dismissed. Sent to endure the rest of your classes in misery.

The day went by painfully slow after your trip to the nurse. The fluorescent lights berated your pupils making it impossible to concentrate and worsening your headache.

It was sixth period, the last class of the day. Also your least favorite class of the day. You couldn’t stand the teacher. Mr. Wright. He was your classic asshole history teacher.

You were completely zoned out, trying to focus on not vomiting. Your name being called pulled you out of your haze.

“Miss y/l/n? Do you care to answer me? Unless you’re busy of course.”

Condescending bastard.

You held your tongue, swallowing any smart-ass comments that threatened to spill past your lips. You cleared your throat.

“I’m sorry, what was the question.”

He went through the whole “this is a learning environment” lecture after that. Again, you didn’t listen. You couldn’t have even if you wanted to. Thankfully, he left you alone after that.

Finally, the last bell of the day sounded through the school. You lept from your seat and ran to the bathroom. You practically body slammed the door open. Luckily, the bathroom was empty, most kids having already filed out of the main doors, eager to begin their weekend festivities.

You were hunched over one of the white porcelain bowl, tears filling your eyes.

Today could not get any worse.

After taking a few deep breaths, you were able to compose yourself enough to exit the bathroom.

You crossed your fingers, hoping that the halls had been completely evacuated.

You crept through the empty corridors and out into the parking lot. You were especially dreading the walk home today.

You were walking through the parking lot, enjoying the fresh air when you saw him. Rodrick Heffley.

The two of you were best friends in elementary school but you drifted apart after a while. You honestly developed a certain distaste for him, as he had you.

Please don’t notice me, please don’t-

“Y/n!”

Shit.

“Rodrick!” you feigned enthusiasm.

His brow furrowed, “You look… paler than usual?” You rolled your eyes, classic Rodrick. You wanted this interaction to end, immediately. “Yup. Not feeling well.” You deadpanned, providing little detail.

Rodrick hesitated for a moment, “Well, let me drive you home, kid.”

Kid. Who did he think he was?

“I think I’ll pass, weather is nice today.” The weather was far from nice.

“Oh really, the weather is nice, y/n? Where are you right now? Because it’s raining where I am.”

He sighed, “and I also saw that little performance Mr. Wright gave you...”

Oh so he pities me.

“Rodrick, If I get in your van will you stop talking?”

He motioned, pretending to zip his lips up and throw away the key. A small smile spread across your face but you didn’t let him see that.

A few minutes into the drive, you decided you were glad you let him take you home. The sky had opened up and it was storming.

Oh God.

“Rodrick, pull over, now.”

He looked over at you and could tell what was about to happen. He pulled over quickly and you opened the door. You leaned over and vomited right onto the grass patch parallel to the road, in the pouring rain.

Coyly, you returned to your seat in the van. You were unsure if you should apologize, so you stayed silent.

“Y/n, are your parents home?”

He knew they never were. Ever since you were a kid, your parents had been anywhere but home. Business trips, vacations, retreats, you name it.

You looked down at your shoes, water dripping from your hair, and shook your head.

“Alrighty then, change of plans.”

You protested, “Rodrick that’s really not necessary I’ll be fine.” Part of you knew there was no point in arguing. If he was one thing, it was stubborn.

He reached out, placing the back of his hand on your forehead to prove a point, “Y/n, you’re burning up. You’re coming with me.”

You were closer to his house anyways. That’s how you justified it, at least.

His van pulled into The Heffley’s driveway. Rodrick got out and rushed around the vehicle to open your door.

“Come along, y/n. I know somebody who will be very happy to see you,” he grinned.

The front door swung open and you were hit with a wave of nostalgia. The Heffley’s house was always warm and always smelled spectacular. Somehow, Mrs. Heffley was always baking or cooking something.

“Y/n? What a nice surprise this is!” Mrs. Heffley beamed. She had always loved you. “How I’ve missed seeing your face around here!” She said, placing her hands on your checks.

“You’re soaking wet!” You nodded awkwardly in response. “And goodness, you’re burning up! Are you feeling alright?” She felt your forehead and cheeks, then squeezed your shoulders gently.

From a young age, Mrs. Heffley had looked after you as one of her own. Nothing had changed it seemed.

“No, actually,” you smiled half-heartedly. Mrs. Heffley frowned at you. “Rodrick, get her some dry clothes, would you?.” Rodrick nodded, leading you up the stairs.

You stood in his room, obviously uncomfortable. He was knelt in front of his dresser, digging around for something.

“Ah! Here it is.”

Rodrick whipped out a t-shirt for you to change into. He grabbed a pair of black sweats from another drawer as well.

“Here you are, mademoiselle.” He stuck out the wad of clothing in your direction. You couldn’t lie, you were happy to have some dry clothes to change into.

You stepped into his bathroom, taking a moment to examine your appearance. You looked rough. Intense bags hung low under your eyes and you truly did look more pale than usual. Fantastic.

You emerged from the bathroom, Rodrick’s clothing drooping slightly from your frame. Rodrick was sitting on the end of his bed and he patted the surface.

You joined him on his twin mattress, only because you were exhausted.

“Rodrick, why are you being nice to me?”

He looked guilty. “You’ve had a rough day, y/n…”

He sucked in a breath, “...and y’know I’ll always care about you.”

How could he still care for you? You completely wrote him off when high school began.

“Listen, y/n, the past is in the past, okay?”

A genuine smile appeared on your face. Before the moment could become too sentimental, Rodrick interjected.

“Oh! Be right back,” he chirped.

He ran downstairs and came back with an orange soda and some cold & flu medicine.

Rodrick explained himself, “Orange! Like, vitamin C, right?” He looked too happy with himself, you couldn’t bring him down. At least his heart was in the right place.

Concealing your laughter to the best of your ability, you accepted the beverage and medicine from his hand.

You hated this kind of medicine with your whole heart. The orange soda could be useful honestly, just not for its nutritional value like Rodrick intended.

Rodrick measured out the appropriate amount of the medicine for you as you cracked open the can. He handed you the small cup full of the thick, red liquid.

You threw back the grotesque cherry flavored solution, grimacing as it coated your throat. You chased the medicine with the orange soda. See, it did come in handy.

You leaned back into Rodrick’s pillows, trying to relax.

About fifteen minutes later you felt extremely drowsy. “Rodrick, can I see that bottle?”

“Uh, sure,” he said, confused.

You read the bottle and instantly threw your head back in annoyance. “Rodrick this is the drowsy kind!” You continued inspecting the bottle, “and it’s extra strength!”

With each second passing, it got increasingly difficult to keep your eyes open.

Everything was blurry and you were teetering between consciousness and sleep.

“Rodrick,” you slurred. “I’m so sorry I stopped talking to you… stopped being your friend. Felt like I wasn’t cool or pretty enough… didn’t deserve you.”

Rodrick was extremely confused. You thought you were too good for him? He had to hold back a laugh.

He couldn’t conceal his smile, “Excuse me? Y/n, that must be the nyquil talking.” He rolled his eyes and brushed off your comment, contemplating the sentiment for a mere moment.

You eventually drifted off, unable to ward off sleep any longer.

When you woke up, you first noticed rodrick. He was sitting on his beaten up couch with his headphones covering his ears. You could hear the muffled baseline from your spot across the room.

How are his eardrums still intact?

Rodrick had a shoebox on his lap and he was shuffling through the contents, smiling to himself.

You cleared your throat, obtaining his attention.

“Oh, y/n! You’re up!” He smiled at you, ripping off his headphones.

You nodded slowly, knuckling your eyes sleepily.

“What time is it?”

Rodrick glanced at his watch, “It’s only 8:30.” You nodded again, continuing to rub the sleep from your eyes.

Rodrick stood, picking up the box and walking over to you. “Look,” he said softly. You peered down into the small shoebox and numerous photos and letters.

“This one here is my favorite,” he said quietly. It was a picture of you and Rodrick at the roller rink. You recognized the photo immediately.

“Seventh grade kick off,” you smiled. You took the box from his lap and began looking through each photo, braided friendship bracelet, concert ticket.

You laughed as each item brought back memories you had long forgotten.

You stopped at a photo of the two of you dressed up in ridiculous outfits. You wore a sequined hat and Rodrick held his drumsticks in hand.

“Was this when we saw Good Charlotte?” You asked.

He giggled, “It sure was. I remember thinking I looked so hot that night. Guess not huh.”

“What are you talking about, you looked incredible Rodrick. Seventh grade me was dying to jump you right then and there.”

His face lit up, “Really?”

“No,” you flashed him an expressionless look before breaking out into side-splitting laughter. He joined you.

You missed this feeling of pure, unadulterated joy. Rodrick was the only person who you had truly experienced that with.

You sighed to yourself. Come tomorrow, you’d be back to strangers. Tears welled up in your eyes and your lip quivered. Rodrick was oblivious until a single tear drop fell onto the photograph below you.

He immediately tried to comfort you. He placed an arm around your shoulder, dragging you into his larger frame. It caught you off guard but you allowed yourself to melt into his touch.

Rodrick distracted you from your sorrow. “Look at this one right here.” It was a photo of you and the Heffley Family in their backyard. You and Rodrick were around fifteen, if you remembered correctly.

“This was the day that I realized I had a big, fat crush on you.”

He followed up, “S’lame I know…”

Heat flooded your cheeks, this time the heat was not a result of your illness. Was it anxiety? Happiness? Both? You couldn’t decide.

“You never really explained why you stopped talking to me and coming by my house.”

You shrugged at him, feeling like your explanation would make him mad. “Well, Rodrick, you started getting new friends. Friends that were better than me or cooler than me.”

“Y/n that is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I could never replace you. To this day, nobody’s ever come close.”

He gave you a playful smack over the head.

“...anyways, to be honest that crush never really went away?”

Before you had time to process the sentence he was gently grabbing your chin, turning your head.

You were facing him now, your lips only inches away from his.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Y-yeah, yes, I think so, yeah.”

He laughed at you and leaned in slowly. Rodrick used one finger to gently move your hair out of your face.

The kiss was gentle and filled with emotion.

You felt like you hadn’t known what you were missing out on until that moment. You felt completed.

“Oh shit, I better not get sick!”

[miss-writes-a-lot]

Jayvik kids (Disclaimer: This is just for fun. Nothing too serious.)

So, I had meant to draw designs or root through my things and find designs for these kiddos, but I got sick at the time of writing this (April 23rd), so I just made a shit ton of picrews of them and I'll just describe them to you here in this post. This is the picrew I used for them: picrew link -> https://picrew.me/image_maker/1414503

Storyline is kinda jank,. mainly because I didn't totally think this through before I wrote this, so don't be too hard on me or my characterization of Naph and Amaranthine.

Naph (he/him) and Amaranthine (she/her)

These two are a pair and cannot be separated. These are not *my* kids of course. They are the two children introduced in LoL Jayce and Viktor's respective short stories. I can't say much on how they come into this family in my au at least, but in a certain angsty au that I am working on, it pretty much falls in line with canon. Naph gains a lot of confidence from working with Viktor and being around kids just like him (orphaned, picked on, etc.) And I think he gets along fairly well with Jayce (eventually). He's intelligent, kind hearted, but can reveal a tough side of himself that others hardly ever see.

Amaranthine is a ball of sass and style, likes to mess around but can get serious when occasion calls for it. Blunt as shit and isn't afraid to tell you that you're doing a terrible job at something. Also incredibly intelligent and witty.

They are the same age (12).

Eleanor 'Nell' Vallis (she/her)

Nell was adopted at age 7 after the unexpected death of her parents left her orphaned on the streets for some time. She is meant to be a trio with her two other sisters, their powers representing the heart, body, and mind. Nell is the body but, in terms of powers, I'm still unsure on what those powers should be.

She is a kind soul, always looking for the best in others, and enjoys helping out in anyway she can. She doesn't like to think about her past and anytime death is brought up, she has a tendency to shut down or become visibly uncomfortable by the mere word.

She is 16 years old in most aus.

Reynard Rossi (she/they)

(see how I made them color coordinated.)

Reynard was found at age 15 after running away from home. She represents the mind, having the ability of telekinesis and the ability to enter one's mindscape. Despite representing the mind, they don't often think before they act and would much rather fight first, ask questions later.

They're tough, fiercely protective of the people they care about, and they are Latinx coded.

She is 17, being the oldest of the siblings.

Viola Pizzelle (she/he/they)

(technically she doesn't count but I'll explain.)

So, if you know me or Viola from my sorta dead art blog or from AO3 (MissWritesALot55), this is my oc Viola. I just started writing them into situations after watching Arcane for comfort and they just worked their way into being the Heart. As the heart, she has the ability of pathokinesis, the manipulation of emotions. She can use them offensively and can also take other's emotions (whether she means to or not)

She started out as an apprenta, working on a way to produce Hextech's own synthetic hex crystals to beat House Ferros and stop the added pollution they are producing. She's anxious about everything, constantly down on herself, and a bit pessimistic.

But she also caring and compassionate, and despite not being as intelligent, she does what she can to help out with the knowledge she does have.

They are 15 years old. The picture to the right is for a sort of Divorce Era Au I'm working on.

I have a few ideas for them, but I'll need to work on them more to execute them properly but if you're interested in them and their stories, feel free to ask and I'll answer the best I can and maybe I'll work on actually drawing them for things.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter Three}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta sat across the kitchen table in Azriel and Elain’s kitchen, looking at her sister.

“I mean, I just don’t get it,” Nesta continued, shaking her head. “Me and Cassian… Why didn’t they choose you and Azriel? You’ve been together forever and want a big family.”

“You’re second guessing taking care of Nyx?” Elain asked, with no judgement, just curiosity.

“No, of course not,” Nesta began, sighing. “It’s just… Me and Cassian?”

“They did try to set you two up all those years ago,” Elain said, propping an elbow on the table and dropping her chin in her hand.

Nesta raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “And how well did that work out?”

Elain rolled her eyes, but sighed. “Feyre was right though,” she said, looking at the letter from Rhys and Feyre, laying face down on the table. Nesta had brought it over for Elain to read, which had just made them both start crying over again. “You have the fiercest heart. Nyx needs you in his life.”

She blinked away the tears lining her eyes again. Silently, she wondered when she’d be able to think about her sister, about Rhys again, without dissolving into tears. She knew it would be a long while.

Finally, she said, “I know he does. I just don’t understand why Cassian has to be involved. That’s not going to be a healthy environment for him to grow up in.”

She could already see it, she and Cassian at each other’s throats. He knew how to get under her skin, loved to do it, did it as often as he could. It would be all Nyx saw as he grew up, his guardians screaming at each other.

“He needs to be somewhere happy and loving and peaceful. Like here, Lainy. He’d flourish here, with you and Az and Seph.”

Elain gave her sister a long, wistful look. Her eyes were soft and misty when she said, “We’re just learning to take care of one, Nes. I can’t… We can’t take on another infant. And, besides, it wasn’t what Feyre and Rhys wanted.”

“They probably wrote that the second they got engaged,” Nesta said, knowing that wasn’t true. “They didn’t know what they wanted.” Elain glanced at the open letter that sat on the table between them. “I read it. They knew exactly what they wanted for Nyx in case something happened to them, and I think that they were right. Just because you and Cassian can’t see it doesn’t mean that it’s not a good idea.”

“The lawyer will disagree with that,” Nesta muttered, remembering Tarquin’s words from their meeting. I tried to advise them against this. She shivered. “The thought of living with Cassian and playing house has me nauseous. And pissed off. So pissed off that I’m nauseous.”

Elain sighed again. “He really is a-.”

“A good guy,” Nesta interrupted, letting her head fall into her hands. Her fingers tugged in the roots slightly. “I know. You keep telling me that. Feyre always told me that. Everyone keeps telling me that. But the two of us?” She looked up at Elain, letting her see into those eyes that matched Feyre’s perfectly, letting her see the slight panic in them, letting her see everything. “We aren’t compatible. Everything about him, it throws me off.”

A cry from down the hall had both of the women standing, but when Nesta realized it was Nyx, she hurried out of the kitchen. In a flash, she was in the spare room, crossing to the small crib Elain and Az had set up for Feyre and Rhys when they found out they were pregnant.

Nyx’s blue eyes were wide and he let out another tortured wail and Nesta tried to soothe him before he was even in her arms. “It’s okay, bubba,” she cooed, holding him against her chest. He kept crying, though the volume of his screams lessened. Instead they were more akin to what Nesta would have almost called sobs.

“It’s been a long day,” she breathed. “I think we should go home, yeah?”

She gathered his diaper bag from where it laid on the bed and when she entered the living room, Elain was sitting on the couch, reading over the letter again. Quiet tears slid down her cheeks.

“I’m gonna get him home,” Nesta said, softly. She repeated, “It’s… It’s been a long day.”

Nodding, Elain folded the letter back up and wiped at the tears on her face with the back of her hand. “Right.” She held the letter out to Nesta, who took it, careful not to jostle Nyx who had finally quieted down, though Nesta could tell he was still awake.

His little hand was pressed to the side of her neck, and she could feel it moving gently.

“Call me if you need anything,” Elain said, carefully hugging her and pressing a kiss to the top of Nyx’s head. “Az and I will help you move what you need to into the house, so don’t hesitate to ask.”

Nesta could only nod, still unsure of how she was going to do this, how she was going to live her life, while also taking care of the far more precious one in her arms. She silently left, driving home and getting Nyx inside and settled, letting him sit in the Bumbo seat she’d found in the kitchen atop the counter while she cooked dinner.

After putting him down for bed, Nesta found herself sitting on the balcony off of Rhys and Feyre’s old bedroom. She looked out into the small wood that made up their backyard, over the pool and chairs that had been set up for the approaching summer, but her eyes were drawn up to the stars that Velaris was famous for.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she whispered, not sure if she was admitting it to herself or to Rhys and Feyre, listening to her wherever they were. “I’m so scared I’ll do something wrong.”

The sounds of crickets and other manner of nighttime creatures were the only reply she received.

“I know you believed in me, in us, but I don’t. I want to make you both proud but I don’t know if I can do that. I just need something to tell me that I’m not making a huge mistake and-.

She softly gasped as a shooting star went blazing across the sky, a second one following it right after.

Her lip trembled as she nodded up at the night sky, understanding, knowing who had sent those stars. She almost felt like she could feel them there, as if they were telling her that it would be hard, but she could do it.

And she… she didn’t have to do it alone.

*

Cassian wasn’t at Az and Elain’s for thirty seconds before he crossed to the mini-fridge Azriel kept stocked in the garage.

“There’s no way they thought this was a good idea,” he said, pacing around, Azriel silently watching him. “It’s a sick joke, just like all of this is. There’s another letter somewhere that says just kidding, wouldn’t that be funny though?”

He cracked open the beer and drank it all in one go.

“I mean, Rhys and I always messed around and shit, but…this is too far,” he went on, tossing the can in the garbage and reaching for another one.

Azriel crossed his arms as he said, “Too many of those and you may think it’s funny, too.”

Cassian shot him a look as he drank from his can. “This isn’t funny. None of this is funny.”

Azriel took a deep breath before saying, “Did you stop to think that maybe they knew exactly what they were doing?”

Cassian said nothing as he propped himself on a stool and shook his head. Azriel didn’t push him. Eventually, Cassian said, quietly, “I want to help Rhys. I want to be the man that he thought I was. I mean, shit, he left me in charge of his child. And I would die for that child. But, Nesta was right, you know? I have no idea how to take care of a kid, especially one as young as Nyx.”

“You think I did, when Seph came along?” He asked, leaning back against the workbench. Cassian was as comfortable in this garage as he was his own, had created just as many beautiful things here as he had in his own cramped space. But he focused on Azriel’s words, sighed as he listened to his brother.

“I was scared shitless, but that didn’t mean a thing to her, or to Elain,” he went on. “Because they both needed me. They needed me to get my shit together and figure it out, and that’s exactly what I did.”

Cassian didn’t say anything, he just looked down at his feet, at his dirty work boots and silently drank from the can in his hands.

Azriel crossed the garage and pulled out a beer of his own, cracking it open and taking a drink. “So read the books, do the research, go online, do whatever you have to do, but Cassian, listen to me.”

His brother rarely used his full name, so he looked up at him, nor expecting to find the tenderness on his face or the silver lining his eyes.

“If you think for one second that Rhys and Feyre didn’t know what they were doing, you’re wrong. No one loves that little boy as much as you do. Yeah, you’re probably going to fuck up once or twice, but it’s okay.” Azriel placed a hand on his shoulder. “It happens and as long as you learn from it, that’s all that matters.”

Cassian wiped at his eye with the back of his hands. “I’m fucking scared, man.”

“I know you are,” Az replied, his voice dropping, almost gentle. “Not to mention we’re all still hurting. But you and Nesta are going to be fine, Nyx is going to be fine.”

Cassian clamped his eyes shut. He groaned. “It wouldn’t be so bad, I know I can learn to take care of Nyx, but Nesta? They expect me to live with Nesta?”

Azriel actually hesitated. “Yeah, that sucks.”

Cassian, despite himself, laughed quietly. “Yeah.”

“But, believe it or not, I think she’d be good for you,” Azriel said, keeping that quiet tone.

“Now you’re trying to set us up?” Cassian asked, wiping at his eyes and the tears that had nearly fallen.

Azriel shook his head. “No. But, Nesta Archeron gets shit done. And she loves Nyx, too. The two of you together….different parenting styles? Yeah. But, you’d be surprised at how well two opposites balance each other out when it comes to parenting.”

Cassian thought of Azriel and Elain. They were both gentle and kind, but they were pretty opposite, too.

“And if it’s a complete failure?” Cassian asked.

Azriel sighed as he watched Cassian. At last, he said, “It won’t be.”

Cassian wanted to believe him, wanting to feel confident in the words Azriel said, but even his third beer hadn’t lifted his confidence.

He let his head fall back, staring up at the ceiling, at the garage door that was raised to allow the cool, night breeze in. “I have to live with Nesta Archeron. The Mother thinks she’s funny. The Cauldron is laughing at me. Fate is rubbing its hands together and laughing maniacally.”

“No,” Az chuckled. “I think that might be Rhys.”

Cassian snorted, but the door to the house opened and Elain stuck her head out. She smiled softly at Cassian, who raised his drink in greeting. “I thought I heard you out here. You gonna stay for dinner?”

His alternative was grabbing something from a drive through or searching through his fridge for something that wasn’t completely freezer burned, so he smiled and said, “Sure, Lainy. Thanks.”

She beamed at them both and the door clicked shut behind her as she turned to go back to the kitchen. Cassian looked over at Azriel to find him still smiling like a fool at the door.

He sighed quietly as he realized he would probably never have that, would never have someone he could stare after and gaze at as fondly as Azriel did Elain. Not if he was to spend his life shackled to someone who wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

As soon as he thought the words, he chastised himself, stepping out into the driveway. She was just as miserable about the whole ordeal as he was. But for Nyx, they could try and make it work. They would make it work. They would do what they had to.

He sighed, gazing up into the night sky.

Shaking his head, he wondered if there was some sort of afterlife. If there was, he wondered if Rhysand and Feyre were somewhere in the sky, looking down at him, trying to encourage him, trying to get a message to him during this horrible, hectic, anxiety-ridden unknown time.

He hoped they were.

He could use it.

That encouragement.

That love.

Cassian began raising his can to his lips, but then he froze.

A shooting star shot across the night sky.

Then another.

Cassian’s hand fell back to his side as he stared at the bright Velaris starlight, completely in awe.

They were watching, they were there with him. They were there with all of them.

Of course they were.

Cassian swore under his breath as he fully gave into the ridiculous notion of moving in with Nesta, of co-parenting with the most frustrating, stubborn woman in Prythian.

But for Nyx, he would.

For Rhysand, for Feyre, he would.

[drakenology]

My Other Half. - Bokuto Kōtarō

warnings: smut, soft, passionate love making, fluff, angst?, best friends to lovers, maaaybe overstim?, praise, fem!reader, cunnilingus (a fancy word for pussy eating). just bokuto going all out to make you feel good.

Summary: Two childhood friends reunite after years of being separated to find old memories and new feelings of love.

Author’s Note: this is my first ever like fluffy piece. all my other work I feel has just been raunchy and I wanted to show yall my soft side. enjoy! <3

Bokuto Kotoro. A name you knew well. A name you knew since you were both kids playing in dirt together, running around and screaming without a care in the world. Two peas in a pod; like Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. It was a sad day when he moved away. Your only friend packed up and left for Tokyo, tears in his eyes as he sat in the backseat of his parents’ car. He waved goodbye through the glass window as the car drove away, a trail of his tears seeming to follow the car as it went. That was the last time you saw him.

When you turned twenty one, your birthday present was a small house in Japan. Some place rural and quiet to do your writing, a small creek flowing in your back yard. You packed up and left home, kissing your mother and father goodbye as you walked out the door. Maybe you’ll run into Bokuto? Hell, he probably won’t even recognize you. It’s been years after all.

You still hoped some how some way fate would bring you together again. You missed him like crazy. His laugh, his stupid jokes. That sparkle in his eyes when he saw you at school. The bear hugs he used to give when you scraped your knee playing with him at the park. It was crazy to assume he’d be waiting for you in Tokyo as if you were the only girl he’d ever meet or care to talk to.

He’s grown now, just about a year older than you. He could have a significant other by now. Your heart ached at the thought. Even though it was selfish to call dibs on a childhood crush who hasn’t seen you in over 10 years, you still hoped; prayed that he was waiting for you or at least remembered you.

When you arrive in your new home and settle in you decide to take the town. Surely you can make some friends, maybe even meet a guy while you’re out? You don’t bother to get all gussied up, walking outside your front door and walking to the nearest bar you can drink your inhibitions away in. The bar you found was small and smelled a bit like sweaty athletes and sake.

The atmosphere was lively despite the off putting smell, everyone was laughing and chatting aloud. The sounds of glasses clinking in celebration and jovial cheering filled the space. You smile softly at the sight of everyone having a great time and find a spot in a nice booth by the window.

The guys behind you must be where the sweaty smell was coming from, their clammering laughter pounding at your head. You try ignoring it until you hear a different yet familiar voice; boisterous and proud like a boy you once knew.

“Yo, Akaashi! Pass the ketchup man, I’m hungry!” He whined childishly, same as always. You turn around swiftly to see if the face matched the voice. Surely enough there he was sitting there, tall as a tree even when sitting in his seat.

God he got so handsome, his face definitely grew into his looks. Bokuto wasn’t a little boy anymore for sure. You stammer, looking between Bokuto and his messy haired friend sitting next to him and a few others. You go to say something only for your own anxiety to stop you, your heart fluttering in your chest in a new way you haven’t felt before.

Finally Bokuto’s eyes meet yours and you both sit there for a while just staring, as if each of you couldn’t believe you were seeing each other again after all this time in forever. Bokuto’s face crept into a smile; a familiar smile that melted your heart.

“Y/n-chan? Tell me you’re joking! I can’t believe it’s you!” Bokuto shouts over everyone’s conversation, leaping from his seat and running towards your booth. You’re still stuck there turned around looking like an owl gawking at the table behind you to realize what’s going on.

Bokuto practically lifts you from your seat and wraps you in one of his famous bear hugs, the ones that made you cry into his chest. As tradition called, you start sobbing into his shirt. Your arms wrap around his neck and pull him in tight almost to tell him not to let you go ever again.

“Hey hey hey.. why are you crying? Shit you’re gonna make me cry. Stop it.” Bokuto says into your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into your back with his big hand.

“I-I’m sorry I just.. it’s been so long.” You admit, sniffling as he pulled away to wipe your face. You can’t help but get emotional at the sight of him.

“Geez, Y/N if you missed me just say that.” Bokuto teased, erupting into furious laughter at your flustered face.

“Oh shut up Bokuto!” You squeak, punching him in his side like the old days. Your usual banter made you two look at each other and laugh as if you two were the only ones in the bar, his friends staring at the the two of you as if you were insane.

“Uh Bokuto.. who is this woman?” The messy haired friend asked, looking about the most confused out of everyone.

“Huh? Oh! Sorry guys. This is Y/N Y/L/N. Other than Akaashi, she’s one my closest friends. Our moms were close so we were raised kinda like siblings.” Bokuto explained, nudging you to say hello.

You wave and introduce yourself, the everyone ooing and ahhing at you. Not to toot your horn but you were gorgeous. Even Bokuto couldn’t take his eyes off you.

He was thinking of how well you grew up, so stunning and so you. Bokuto remembers the little scar you had just above your eyebrow from tripping over and rock and smiles when he sees it, almost wanting to reach out and poke it like when he did when he was 10. He wonders if you remember that day.

You were playing pretend by the trees in the park, you were good and he was evil. You were chasing him and you tripped and fell, causing the evil doer act to shed away to make sure you were alright. You both made up a crazy story about your scar to your mother; which she never believed. Good times.

The rest of the night was spent catching up and talking like he wasn’t even with others originally. Everyone else eventually had gone home, Akaashi the last to go. He waved goodbye to you and Bokuto and drove home, you and Bokuto still sitting at the bar basking in each other’s company.

“Wow! So your parents got you a place here so you can work? Nice. And you live nearby too. So I can come and visit you and- sorry I’m rambling.” Bokuto says sheepishly, running his hands along the nape of his neck. You giggle, taking a sip of your drink.

“No no, you’re fine Bokuto. Of course you can visit. My house is your house.” You smile, Bokuto’s cheeks heating up as he blushed. You check the time and notice it was far too late and stand from your seat.

“It’s late, Kō, we should call it a night.” You say, grabbing your things. Bokuto smiles and stands up with a stretch of his limbs; relishing in his old nickname.

“Come on. I’ll walk you home.”

You two talk and talk all the way home, years of catching up to do feeling long over due. When you get to your home you almost feel sad that you’re about to depart from each other. It felt like you weren’t going to see him again. Bokuto pulls you into a hug, spinning you around a little. He laughs when you squeal and yell at him to put you down.

“Hey. I’ll come by tomorrow night so we can watch movies.” He declares, standing you on your feet.

“Hah. How do you know I won’t have plans, hm?” You teased, poking Bokuto’s forehead. It was a lot easier when you were younger since he was shorter than you back then. Boy sprouted like a palm tree.

“You just moved here. Besides. You know I’m your favorite.” Bokuto smirks, taking your hand and spinning you. You giggle and punch his shoulder lightly.

“As if, Kō. See ya tomorrow.”

A month goes by swiftly. Bokuto had been over to your house more often than you thought he’d be. You loved the time you spent together just goofing off and being big kids.

Your schedules worked perfectly together, his volleyball is usually done by the evening and your work is over just after him. Bokuto would pick you up from work with fast food waiting in the car for you both to eat together. Today was no different, the smell of fries greeting your hungry nose as you climb inside his car.

“Yo! How was your day, nerd?” Bokuto asks, fisting his fries into his mouth as you dig for yours.

“It was okay. I’m starving though.” You say, stuffing your face with your food.

You both sit in the car and eat for a while, Bokuto’s phone breaking your shared silence. You look down at where it rested in the cup holder and read the caller id. It was a girl. Bokuto answers the phone, sounding as if he didn’t want her to call him right at this moment.

“I’ll call you back. Bye.” He said, hanging up his phone and sitting it back in the cup holder. You couldn’t help but feel a little jealous, your heart sinking as your head makes up several sceanarios about who she was, what she meant to him.

You eat in silence, answering Bokuto’s yammering with no ambition. Bokuto’s so dumb he doesn’t even notice the difference in attitude as the call wasn’t as scandalous as you seemed. It was just some girl who was trying to get with Akaashi but was too afraid to say anything herself so she had asked Bokuto to set them up.

“My place or yours today?” He asked, sing songy and happy.

“Mine.” You say monotonously. Bokuto looks over at you and sees you’re not even facing him, your face stuck to the window as he drove off.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I smell?” Bokuto said, playfully smelling his armpits. You shake your head and insist it’s nothing and that you’ll get over it. But it wasn’t nothing, and you were pretty certain you weren’t going to get over it. Was that his girlfriend? Some random hook up looking for another round? It made you sick to your stomach thinking about it. You got out of the car when Bokuto parked, walking to your front door to unlock it as Bokuto followed behind you.

“I pick the movie out this time. I’ll be damned if you pick another chick flick out.” Bokuto says plopping on your couch and turning on the tv, making himself at home.

You sigh and walk into your room to change into something more comfortable, rolling your eyes as you hear Kōtarō yell about the movie starting. You walk out in shorts and a tank top since it was pretty hot inside and sit next to him, folding your arms.

Bokuto’s eating his snacks and talking through the whole movie since he’s seen it before. He always picks a movie he’s seen before so he can tell you the whole plot, forgetting that you could just watch the movie for that. You half laugh and sigh at all his mannerisms, your guard completely blocking him out from getting any closer to you.

“Is something wrong, Y/N? Seriously you’re being a little stand offish.” Bokuto says, a serious tone taking place. You scoffed, rolling your eyes to hide that you’re obviously upset by something.

“Nothing.” You snide.

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me. Somethin’s wrong. Don’t make me start guessing.” Bokuto says. You sigh.

“It’s so stupid.” You admit.

“How you feel isn’t stupid. Tell me what’s up.” He persisted, pausing the movie.

“I just- well.. I-How do I say this? I’m.. jealous?” You finally admit. Bokuto raises an eyebrow.

“Jealous? About what?”

“Well. I saw a girl call you and I-I just assumed it was your girlfriend so..”

“Wait what? I don’t have a girlfriend. And besides why would you care?” Bokuto further questions, his face nearing yours with a perplexed look on his face. You flush, turning your face away from his.

“I-I don’t know I just-“

“You’re in love with me, aren’t you Y/N?” Bokuto smirks, turning your head to face him with your chin. You blink up at him, embarrassed and flustered.

“I-um-I...” You stutter. You loved the idiot sitting next to you with all your heart. But to say it was a different story.

“Because I love you too. So say it back.” Bokuto declares. You freeze for a moment, almost unsure you heard what you just heard.

“R-Really?”

“I love you, Y/N. The moment I saw you again felt like...fate. It was like everything made sense again. I never realized how much tou meant to me until I left that day. You’re my other half.” He says to you so sweetly, his words stirring up emotions inside you that were aching to be let out. Your eyes sting as you choke back tears, clutching onto Bokuto’s hands.

“Kōtarō... I-I love you too. All those years felt so empty without you. And God I just wanted to kiss you that day at the bar and I-“

Bokuto stops you midsentence to pull his face into yours and kiss you hard, your heads bumping into each other a bit from the sudden movement. Passion flowed through the kiss, your mouths exploring each others for the very first time. You sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck as you go to straddle him.

Bokuto welcomes you onto his lap with ready hands, palms feeling every curve and divot of your body. Your need for each other grew with each kiss, mindlessly grinding against each other to feel closer. Every touch of his big hands made you feel alive, setting your body on fire. Bokuto starts to whine softly, his pants growing a tad bit tight at all the raw kissing. He pulled away, lips swollen and breathing uneven.

“I want you so badly. Can I-“ Bokuto goes to ask for consent, his nervousness making him struggle to find the words he’s looking for.

You shut him up with another kiss, already knowing what he wants to say as he lifts you up and carries you away. Starting in the kitchen he sits you on the counter as he takes off your top, your bare breasts popping out when the garment flies over your head and onto the floor. He’s never seen such gorgeous breasts before, he swore. Seeing you this way only made him long for you more, standing there dumb founded at the sight of your chest.

“W-Wow.” Bokuto gasps, taking both your breasts into his hands and oogling at them with love in his eyes. “So perfect.”

He takes one into his warm mouth, your body arching at the feeling and letting out a small whine. Music to his ears.

“Kō..” you sigh, closing your eyes as he suckled on your nipples.

His tongue slid over each hardened bud and looked up at you, studying your body language to learn it well. Without a word he slides off your shorts and pick you up again, hoisting you away to your bedroom after asking where it is.

Frantic kisses and breathless moans trail down the hall with a reach of the doorknob. You’re laid carefully onto the bed, Bokuto crawling on top of you without daring to pull his lips from yours just yet.

He could kiss you for hours. He could die right now and be completely content all because of this moment. Bokuto takes his hands and slides them down to the waist band of your panties, tugging them down to reveal your dripping core.

Bokuto teased his fingers along your slick folds, savoring the feeling of your wetness on his skin.

You let out the sweetest sounds he’s ever heard, urging him to draw more music from your lips. He crawls downwards towards your pussy, laying on his stomach and pulling your hips forward.

You gasp at the sudden feeling of his tongue parting your folds, mewling as you arch your back. His tongue worked its magic on you, sliding up to your clit to pay special attention to it. Breathless calls of his name fill the air, your hands grabbing fist fulls of the sheets as he fucked you with his tongue.

Your eyes roll back with every swipe of his tongue, relishing in the toe curling pleasure he gave you. That familiar knot started forming in the pit of your stomach, your moans increasing in volume as you near your orgasm. Bokuto must have sensed this and wrapped his plush lips around your throbbing clit, prodding his fingers at your weeping hole to fill you.

“Kō! I-I’m gonna cum!” You whine, your hands finding home in his hair and tugging lightly. Bokuto responded with a groan against your clit and a hook in his fingers, causing you to boil over without hesitation. Your thighs shake around his head, one hand covering your mouth to spare your neighbors the noise. Bokuto comes back up to kiss you, your slick coating his lips and chin. You taste your sweetness and kiss him with tongue, both of you sighing into each other.

“Wanna... be inside you.” Bokuto says breathlessly into the kiss, his dick aching to be let out of his pants.

You pull away and unbutton his jeans, Bokuto kicking them off onto the floor and pulling down his boxers. Your pussy throbbed at the sight of his dick, its sheer size enough to make you salivate. The way it swung a little when he took off his boxers, the prominent veins running along the shaft, its head blushing and leaking with precum. Bokuto had a gorgeous dick. You almost wanted to put it in your mouth but the heat of the moment called for a different hole to be filled.

Bokuto prods himself at your entrance and slowly slides inside you, inhaling sharply at the contact. You gasp at the dull stretch, feeling so full as you mewl uncontrollably. His hips roll slowly, thrusting deep inside your gummy walls as he rested his forehead onto yours. Your legs wrap around his waist, nails digging into the skin of his back as he picked up the pace.

“You feel so good, baby.” He spoke, kissing you gently to soothe you. You can feel him so deeply it almost brought a tear to your eye, his plunging movements sending your mind into a stupor.

He mummbled sweet praise against your neck, kissing the soft skin as he took you. A part of him wanted to go harder; really ruin that sweet face of yours and turn you into a lewd mess, but you mean more than that to him. This moment is nothing but pure love between two people who have known each other all their lives. You shriek as his hips start slamming into yours, back arching off the bed as your nipples pebbled against his chest.

“I-I love you, Bokuto.” You whine. Your eyes flash white, your vision becoming foggy as the mind boggling pleasure ripples through your body. You chant his name like a mantra, Bokuto mumbling how much he loves you as his hips do more of the talking. You feel him throb inside you, it becoming obvious he’s holding back so you can cum first. He’s rubbing circles into your clit as he pins your legs above your head. It all became so much so fast, your mewls spewing from your lips no longer caring who hears what.

“Let go for me, baby. C’mon..” He hums, nibbling on your neck. You scream, your tight cunny clenching down on his length as you cum for a second time that night. Bokuto rides out your orgasm, watching your body shake and shiver at the feeling of him sliding in and out of your weeping hole.

Bokuto doesn’t have time to think of where to cum, your walks sucking him in so well he loses all sense of control. He cums hot inside you, your pussy milking him for everything he had as he pants into your neck. You both stay in position for a while, looking at each other with love sick eyes. Bokuto rests himself on top of you, still nuzzled inside you as his cum leaks onto the sheets. You’re both out of breath, sitting in the high you both came to as you rub lazy circles into his back.

Nothing but pure love circulated the air as you rest together in bed, naked and vulnerable. You don’t say anything but soft I love yous to each other, gentle kisses on each others lips as you fell asleep in each other’s arms.