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totallyexhausted · 2 years ago

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Part of You’re So Cool (Yeah, You Are)

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A month after they’d moved in, Miyano had suggested a 4-day trip to the coast to celebrate the end of his first term in university. A small vacation since they’d both been stressed, both dealing with the strain of exams, late-night studying, and their hectic schedules they could never seem to sync-up despite living together. It had been a nice idea considering neither one of them had ever been to the beach; and relaxing in the water, discussing the types of BL fantasies Miyano could come up with while lying in the sand together, their fingers intertwined, sounded nice.

The problem was, Sasaki got motion sickness easily, and meds didn’t always help. The train ride to and from university (like in high school), he could usually handle; but taking one that lasted several hours, was torture. He didn’t remember much about the ride except he tried sleeping through most of it; his head leaning against his boyfriend’s shoulder, his fingers intertwined tightly with Miyano’s, and Miyano running his thumb over the outside of his hand in order to offer a small comfort as Sasaki tried keeping down the constant wave of nausea through passing countryside. For the most part, he did well- only vomiting the second he stumbled from the train, and the constant dull ache of sickness pitted in his stomach a few hours after. The ride back had been a completely different story though.

Despite the meds Sasaki had crammed down his throat before the train left the station; a majority of the scenery passed by in a nauseating blur of apologies, and Miyano’s soft touches grounding him in the hellish reality he was trying so hard to black out. Five hours. Five hours pitted against a cool glass window of greens, blues and tans; five hours where every 10 minutes, Sasaki was trying to puke up his stomach lining; five hours with no relief, no form of exhaustion strong enough to rip him from the motion of the giant steam engine powering down unfamiliar tracks. By the time they’d reached their apartment, Sasaki was nothing more than a towering mess of apologies and fatigue. Honestly, it broke Miyano’s heart, and made Sasaki feel weak and lame.

They had barely made it over the threshold before Sasaki collapsed, and Miyano could no longer support his boyfriend’s weight. Despite Miyano standing at a comfortable 5’9, Sasaki was taller, bigger than he was; that made it harder for the younger to help the way he wanted- to care for him the way Sasaki could for him. Needless to say, they’d spent the next few hours sitting in the cramped hallway; Sasaki leaning against Miyano, nodding off between quiet conversations and desperate attempts to stretch his lanky form against a confined space.

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totallyexhausted · 2 years ago

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You’re So Cool (Yeah, You Are)

(I’m still writing this- just kind of need some inspiration and need to think)

Warning: It’s a sickfic- there isn’t much right now as I am still writing this (this is just like a mid-beginning snippet); but it will follow the norm sickfic with puking, fever, nightmares, self-reflection; also includes depression, anxiety, drunkenness, motion sickness, cats (specifically one named Wasabi), flashbacks, blood, etc. It’s been a while since I’ve posted/ written a full fic so I’m thinking :) but I should be done with this by this weekend as I normally write about 25-pgs, and I’m on 13 right now. I’m trying to follow the Manga/ Anime as close as possible- but I promise no active spoilers as it’s modern aged-AU :)

I’m also working on a Hirano/ Kagiura sickfic/ hurt/ comfort with Kagi getting heat exhaustion while practicing in the heat after school like an idiot. Set after (spoilers) Hirano rejects him, and Kagi trying to assert himself as an individual away from Hirano because of the awkwardness. But basically, Hirano dealing/ processing his feelings, his childhood, Kagi’s childhood, reflection of their lives; and of course, Hirano being sweet and caring as he takes care of a dehydrated Kagi (puking, decreased sweat, needs to cool off, etc.)

Eventually, most likely after the season ends, I’ll post a Buddy daddies fanfic with a sick Rei; Kazuki and Miri caring. I’ve written a few pages but right now I’m more focused on Sasaki/ Miyano :) so yeah. Keep checking in if you’re interested or hit the request box :)

He didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was dark now. The sun that had pierced through his clenched eyelids a few mere hours beforehand, no longer present; the soft chirping of crickets hidden in patches of grass littered along the alley, and the soft breeze of an imminent rainstorm blowing through the open windows, made everything clear. So no, Sasaki didn’t need to open his eyes to know a significant amount of time had passed. Nor did he need someone to tell him that the reason Wasabi was angrily attacking his foot as his right leg hung off the couch, pulling his body dangerously towards the floor, was due to the fact that he’d missed feeding her. Her loud mewling and harsh bites were more than enough to get the message across. He’d fucked up in his fatherly duties towards her.

He did, however, flinch when he felt cool fingers press against his forehead, and cheek, before running through his sweaty hair. He groaned loudly, leaning into the soft touch as he tried to think of who else would have a key to his and Miyano’s apartment. His sister? His mother… She wouldn’t care enough to come over. Hirano? Ogasawara? Although Ogasawara had never once been this gentle towards him even when he was feeling off or had broken bones; and Hirano coming to their apartment without knocking a million times would be weird. Hanzawa would come over, but Sasaki was pretty sure he didn’t have a key… he was resourceful though…

The 21-year-old groaned as he pried his eyes open, wincing as the dusky moonlight hit his eyes, making the room spin in a multitude of greys, blues, and pale browns. He swallowed as he tried moving his arm over his head, to shield his eyes despite forcing them open, but his movements were weak and feeble. Clumsy and stupid. He felt clumsy and stupid. It was annoying.

Fingers paused at his hairline, brushing away bangs matted to his forehead, and Sasaki blinked. He turned his head slightly, his hand pressing against his stomach, and he winced as sharp teeth bit into one of his toes, jerking his leg away as it slammed the end table, and something shattered against the ground. There was a shushing sound before a cold hand pressed against his cheek gently, turning his head, and Sasaki blinked again as his eyes slowly met the blurry image of his boyfriend.

…soft material pulled over his orange hair and thrown against the wooden floor. Sasaki held his breath as Miyano pushed him back against the comforter… No one’s going to be home for at least another hour, you know, we could test that theory… His fingers were so cold, and yet so… Miya, are you nervous?

“Hey, Mya-chan,” Sasaki slurred softly, a smile toying on his lips as cool fingers continued to thread through his hair. He sounded drunk. Maybe he was. He’d only been drunk twice in his short existence on this planet, and neither time felt like this, but then again… Words were too hard to form. Exhaustion hung heavy in his eyes, making the world hard to see; a dull ache deep in his bones, riding the piercing headache throbbing through his temples and up his neck. Everything was too warm right now, so nauseatingly warm, and the thought of having to move from his semi-comfortable spot on their too short couch, made Sasaki’s head spin.

“Hey,” Miyano whispered, running his fingers through his boyfriend’s soft strands, “Are you not feeling well, Sasaki? I think you have a fever.”

A fever? The 21-year-old closed his eyes as he tried to process the information. A fever didn’t sound right. He was too cold for that. The night air that pricked against his skin, eating away at the cold sweat plastered beneath his red t-shirt, and tan cardigan he had haphazardly draped over himself in order to keep Wasabi from gnawing at the black bracelets wrapped around his wrist, told him he was cold. Not hot. Besides, he just had a headache… and he was nauseous. And tired… maybe sore from work. But a fever? No, that didn’t sound right.

“I’m fine,” Sasaki hummed, twisting to his side, bringing his knees to his chest slowly as Miya shifted and the couch dipped slightly as the 20-year-old moved to sit on the edge. Sasaki turned further, burying his head against his boyfriend’s thigh as Miyano pressed a steady hand against his back, brushing some sweat-soaked hair away from the ladder’s neck. He bit his bottom lip, carding his slender fingers through the older’s hair again before placing a firm hand between his shoulder blades, his fingers cold and worried against warm sticky fabric.

Silence evaded the small living space as thunder clapped in the distance. Outside leaves dragged across the street as wind bustled through the open window, the curtains dancing freely against the breeze. The distant smell of rain lingering on the air, chilling the breath wisping past Sasaki’s dry lips as he pressed his face further against Miya’s thigh. You have to be more mindful, Shuumei, otherwise, if you’re not careful, you’re going to hurt someone you really care about...

“Well, why don’t we check,” The 20-year-old cooed, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Wasabi meowled loudly as Miyano exited the small living room, and Sasaki ran a hand over his face, trying to rub away some of the exhaustion plaguing his body, trying to will himself to feel better. It was a useless task. And the fact that he had slept so long when he was supposed to make dinner before his boyfriend came home, wasn’t helping his current situation.

He really needed to get up. This was so lame. He was so lame. Sasaki groaned loudly as he uncurled himself, grasping at the arm of the small futon as he forced his body to sit up. The room shifted violently, and the 21-year-old let his head flop against the back of the cushions, sweat trailing lazily past his temple. He grit his teeth, closing his eyes as nausea washed over him, and he put a firm hand against his stomach as he concentrated on the rain beginning to fall. It hit the windowsill softly, clinking against the metal frame before sliding down the rest of the open glass, soaking against the wooden ledge.

Sasaki swallowed. His breathing noisy and congested as he held onto the sound of the rain, the thunder looming in the distance, and Wasabi weaving between his legs. The room around him felt thick. And cold. And any movement he made or tried to make, made his headache worse; made the blood rush to his head, the air dizzy and light. It sucked. He sucked. Great, he was feeling sorry for himself now… How pathetic.

“Hey! Sasaki! Are you okay! Is it worse?”

Nervous footsteps followed by a soft smack against his side, and Sasaki opened his eyes against the warning nauseatingly coursing through his veins, the black dots eating away at his vision, and the headache crawling up his neck, pulsating behind his eyes. He smiled slowly as Miyano pressed his hand against his chest; his mind drifting to the first time. His first. Theirs…

…Miyano’s cold fingers sliding over his bare chest, sliding down… down… down… He’d been so gentle, and yet, so clear about what he wanted… so dominant- Miya had been surprisingly assertive… it was nice… His cold fingers warming against Sasaki’s back, pressed against his spine, feeling his heart pounding through his chest… fingers…

“Shuumei?”

“I’m fine,” The 21-year-old breathed, or at least, tried breathing through his nose as he ran a shaky hand through his sweaty orange hair. He really needed to get a handle of his current situation because this was weak. He was cooler than this. He wished he was cooler than this. He swallowed again, meeting his boyfriend’s gaze, “I’m sorry about dinner, Mya-chan…”

A small smirk crossed Miyano’s face as he laughed softly, “I’m not worried about it. Your sister said you didn’t look well, so I grabbed something after my 3rd. I just wanted to see you; I was worried about you.”

Sasaki felt his breathing catch, his hand unconsciously moving from his stomach towards Miyano’s pressed against his chest, over his pounding heartbeat. His warm fingers ghosting over the back of the 20-year-old’s hand before he caught himself, recoiling carefully and let his hand drop to his side. He exhaled slowly, forcing himself up further, his whole body protesting the action. He didn’t go to his evening classes… Why. Why would he do that…

“Why? Why wouldn’t you go to your evening classes? They’re important,” Sasaki whispered, blinking several times, clearing the dizziness washing over him as he tried focusing on the emotion present on his boyfriend’s face versus the sick feeling aching in his stomach. Miyano ran a gentle hand through Sasaki’s hair, his hand trailing to his cheek. He grimaced as his fingers met the uncomfortable warmth sitting under the older’s flesh. He cleared his throat, “Well, isn’t it obvious? You don’t feel well. And I wanted to take care of you… I wanted to see you. You’re more important than missing a few classes.”

The 21-year-old let his head gradually drop against Miyano’s shoulder, hoping that the heat he felt crawling up his neck, flushed against his cheeks and ears was due to the fever he supposedly had. His orange hair falling over his face as he tried so damn hard to keep it together. Everything was getting to him right now. Miyano’s touches, his concern, his love; his own emotions washing through him in uncontrollable waves as he fought to keep himself together. But everything was starting to feel like too much. Again. His anxiety, his depression, his weak-willed mind threatening to break against the love he felt for Miyano and the love he was willing to return. Too much… it happened; more so when he felt like shit… when he had a harder time keeping himself in line… Man, Miyano. What you’ve done for me- What you do for me. I like it all, and I-I’m so anxious, so nervous I’m going to fuck it up. I’m going to mess this up… I’m so scared I’m going to ruin it… ruin you… I’m terrified I’m going to hurt you…

Cool fingers against his cheek again, dusting under his chin, pulling his head up, and Sasaki found himself blinking towards his boyfriend; concern etched into his big brown eyes. Miyano cocked his head slightly; thunder echoing outside as the curtains whipped past the open window, rain pelting harder against the sill. Wasabi scattered from the room as lightning hit the roof across the street and a car alarm blared in the distance.

“Let’s see if you have a fever, hm?” Miyano said softly, his hand steadily tracing over Sasaki’s shoulder blades as the older leaned against him, his head returning to the younger’s shoulder. Silence evaded them, filing the small room in an uncomfortable stillness...

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