#and eventually after a while remus starts to feel like maybe he is beautiful because sirius thinks he is

[resident-gay-bitch]

Actually my favorite wolfstar headcannon is Remus being a lanky, fugly, weirdo looking regular dude and sirius seeing him for the first time and just thinking he’s the most attractive man to grace the planet and is so genuinely shocked to find that other people don’t agree. But he also doesn’t mind, because that means he gets Remus’ beauty all to himself.

And then Remus is just sitting there the whole time, jaw on the floor, when Sirius ���model material” Black fawns over his ugly scars and crooked nose and awkward smile because how the fucking he’ll did he manage to pull this guy?!

I hate joining the fandom discourse because I understand that everyone’s hc are different but could we please stop the whole unattractive people can’t be loved train?

Remus is allowed be a wet noodle and he is allowed to look like he is dying and Sirius could STILL find him attractive and love him. He doesn’t have to be tall and buff for him to be loved.

Please go to therapy if you think only conventionally attractive people can be loved.

[s0urw00lf]

Trouble

Request: Hi, I was wondering since you write for the marauders if you could write a fic (even just a short one) where Y/n is a professor at hogwarts and was kinda familiar with the marauders while at school.

So when Remus accept the job they get close and they kinda have to sneak around because it's not professional to date a colleague.

Pairing: Remus lupin x reader

Summary: Y/n had always taken a special interest into the marauders, specifically the tall lanky book nerd they she competed with from top of the class in school. Now over 10 years later they finally became more than just friendly rivals, but in secret.

Warnings: fluff, sneakin around, and overly nosy snape.

AN: the day I write a short fic will be the day I run out of imagination. Because for some reason I have to give backstory, build up, and THEN I get to the point, also i write on my computer so it looks like a lot less than what I’m actually writing. (Update: I didn’t write a lot for this because I’m tired and wanted to get it done) Anyway thank you for the submission and I hope you enjoy.

Something about him had always intrigued you. Maybe it was how smart he was, his beautiful brown doe eyes, or the way he always seemed to be the most rational thinker of all his friends.

You didn’t know, and you didn’t care to. All you knew was that you liked him. A lot. In school you two were friendly rivals competing for the best grades but nothing more than that. You wished it were though, and you were going to ask him out but the war against the dark lord escalated so quickly one moment you were students running around Hogwarts trying to make it to class on time and the next you were trying to avoid any sudden deaths.

After that, you completely lost contact with him. To be honest you forgot all about him until you were informed by Minerva that he’d be taking up the position of the new DADA teacher. “Wait you said Remus lupin?” You tried as hard as you could to keep your expression neutral, and you did as far as you knew. “Yes y/n Remus Lupin will be the new defense against the dark arts teacher” she replied eyeing you through her glasses with the faintest smirk ever, before excusing herself.

“Still pining mindlessly over him after all this time. Figures.” Severus quipped in his usual monotone voice after McGonnogal walked away. “You’re one to talk” you replied eyeing him with a glare and walking away. When you got back to your classroom you let out the girliest squeal you could. You may or may not have ever gotten over your small crush on the boy man.

𐂂𓅓𓆗⚯❾¾ ▕⃝⃤

About a month later school had started back and the hustle and bustle of the school had returned. Even though it had been a week into school, you still had yet to run into Remus, much to your dismay. Until one night you were carrying a load of textbooks you borrowed from Professor Flitwick back to your classroom and kept dropping them. Eventually, you gave up and just plopped down to the floor contemplating how you were gonna get these textbooks to your classroom without your wand. “You know you could always ask for help” a smooth voice spoke from behind you, causing you to jump, and turn around. “Godric Remus a little warning next time would be nice, jeez,” you said placing a hand to your chest feeling your heart racing out of control. “My apologies i forgot how easy it is to sneak around these halls” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh and turned back to the books, “I would’ve but I didn’t want to disturb anyone” you said standing up, and putting your hands on your hips. He bent down to pick up a little over half of the books “Well lucky you, I’m here undisturbed and happy to help” he teased. You rolled your eyes with a small smile, he still had his boyish charm from when you were kids. You picked up the remaining books off of the floor, “well since you’re so eager, follow me” you teased, leading him back to your classroom.

As time went on you and Remus became closer and closer, maybe closer than you should’ve been. The kids noticed it, how you’d always sat beside each other in the great hall, or when you’d have conjoined lessons. But one thing you didn’t expect was when Snape started popping in out of the blue. Remus sat at his desk grading papers with one hand on your thigh as you sat on his desk reading a book, The only noise filling the room was the sound of his quill scribbling on the papers. That was until the door to the classroom opened and Snape swiftly walked through. Remus discreetly removed his hand from your thigh “You know a knock would be nice” you stated with irritation. He stopped at the desk “Knocking would indicate you’re doing something you wouldn’t want anyone to see” he sneered, placing a bottle of potion on the desk for Remus “It's called common courtesy, mama ever teach you about it?” You said sliding off of the table to face him fully. The scowl on his face made you want to give the most satisfied smirk but you decided against it. He then turned to Remus “Make sure you drink it before the end of the week I'll have you another by the time the full moon comes around”

Remus thanked him, and he made his exit. You groaned “he’s like the annoying cousin who’s always trying to get you in trouble” you whined. Remus grabbed your hips bringing you closer “Has he been like that all these years?” He asked looking up at you. You ran your hands through his hair softly scratching his scalp, “you have to ask? He’s been like that since we were kids” you snorted. Remus chuckled leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He looked like he was being touched by an angel. You leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Pulling away slightly “Even if he did find out, he’d never tell. He knows better” and returned to the kiss until he pulled away “I don’t want his face in my head while I’m kissing you love,” he said. you winced “Fair point, no more Snape. Just us,” you said moving to sit on his lap so you would have to keep leaning over to kiss him.

[wolfstarhaven]

Hi! I am looking for pining fics where Sirius or Remus are dating/hooking up with other people and the other has to sadly and quietly pine (but they eventually get together).

Especially if it is at hogwarts and maybe the other person sees or hears something they wish they hadn’t? Non-hogwarts also welcome! Love me some pining and miscommunication that gets worked out!

Hi love🌸 Here’s my best try! If I remember correctly, all of the Hogwarts ones include some sort of scene where Sirius walks in on Remus and someone else (;

Hogwarts era:

Befriending A Ravenclaw, by kreestar (55k)

Remus is a Ravenclaw Prefect and Sirius is finding it harder and harder to admit he isn't obsessed with him.

In which Sirius thinks he’s straight (surprise, he’s not), and gets very confused (read: jealous) when Remus gets a boyfriend. Slow burn pining on all sides — it’s bloody wonderful!

Casanova of Gryffindor Tower, by Moonystar_394 (16k)

In sixth year, Sirius Black had two major realizations.

First and foremost, Sirius was utterly, irrevocably and in an almost excruciatingly embarrassing way head over heels for his best friend.

Secondly, his best friend was kind of a slut.

In which everyone’s in love with Remus (as they should be), Remus is oblivious, and Sirius gets veeeery sexually frustrated. I love it!

Falling Into Place, by GreenEyedGoddess (6k)

There's always been something special about Remus Lupin, even if it's taken Sirius Black until his seventh year to realize it. Too bad he spends so much time agonizing over his changing feelings that he loses his chance. In which Remus acts like an idiot, Marlene is the snarky voice of reason, James is a mother hen, Peter is confused, and Sirius is seriously jealous.

They are so stupid!!! (I love them). In which r and s kiss, but then they completely fail to communicate afterwards. Can they talk to each other? no no no! Instead Remus starts dating Dirk Cresswell (because of a misunderstanding, ofc). Much jealousy and pining ensues.

Just Like Best Friends Do, by MsAlexWP (4k)

After uselessly pining for three years Remus decides, finally, to get Sirius out of his system by shagging as many blokes as he can. It doesn’t go quite as planned.

So much stupidity and miscommunication in one little fic! Jealous!sirius, oblivious!remus, and lots of mutual pining. #clown-to-clown-communication. Also, Remus is really hot (;

Non-hogwarts:

talking over cigarettes and drinking coffee, by beep348 (20k)

Remus and Sirius are in the same literature seminar at university and while Remus is great at reading books he is very bad at reading people.

Ok so this is a muggle!au and I know I’ve recced this before. But it’s so good so here we go again! If you haven’t read this already, you definitely should!!! In which Remus is under the impression that Sirius is dating Mary. Things get complicated. Misunderstanding deluxe! It’s so so so lovely and well-written! Lots of pining and jealousy, a beautiful slow burn (for 20k).

xx Elliot

[eastons-creations]

Even If

A/n: hehe uh happy marauder fandom depression day. enjoy this random thing. Btw this was written awhile ago in the middle of the night sooooo might now be that good lol.

“Remus!” Came a voice bellowing up the stairs as Remus read his book in their dorm room. The young boy fought a smile but rolled his eyes when Sirius came barreling through the door. Imdeidetly Remus’ eyes were drawn to his clouds of grey, instantly melting into them. The rest of this hot young black drifting away. 

Well…until Remus saw a flash of red. It was Sirius’ hair. It was bright red, curly, and short. Shorter then Remus had even seen it. Sirius’ eyes were filled with tears, because if you have ever come across the boy, you know, his best feature is his hair (well in Sirius opinion, Remus had very different thoughts on that (; ). So naturally…he's heartbroken. 

Sirius threw himself into his boyfriend's arms making his next words a little muffled through Remus’ jumper, “How bad is it?”

Yes…Remus was laughing. But how could he not? “Its not that bad Sirius.”

But Sirius groaned at these words and looked up at Remus with teary eyes, “Don’t lie…”

“I’m not lying!” Remus broke out in a grin at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

“Yes you are…”

“I am not!”

“You know how I know?” His eyebrows furrowed, while Remus raised one. 

“Mhm, how?”

“Cause you called me Sirius instead of Love or Babe or Si or pads.” Sirius' tears were freely flowing now and he sat in a criss-cross situation across the bed from Remus. “Are you not attracted to me now? Cause it will change back! I just have to get someone to help me.” At this point his head hung low and Remus knew he felt ashamed, “I’m sorry Moony…” His voice was meek and quiet. It broke Remus’ heart. 

When he and Sirius started dating it became clear very quickly how much his parents have had an effect on him, cause from the very beginning Sirius believed that he didn’t deserve Remus’ affection. He always worried he wasn’t pretty enough for him, or that if he let down his perfect hair and let it get a little bit messy that Remus would leave him. 

To Sirius’ his looks were everything. 

To Remus, they were only a bonus. But sometimes it's hard to convey that to someone. 

“Oh my love….Not at all!” Remus grabbed the front of Sirius’ shirt and pulled him to himself in a big hug (something that's always calmed both of them down), enveloping the smaller boy into his much larger form. “I’m sorry you feel like that baby. I think you are fucking beautiful no matter what. If you are fat and old, or young and short,” Remus tickled Sirius a little in the side, and Sirius let out a light chuckle, “Or dead and gone, and even if you're ginger…”

Sirius sat up quickly, his tears having dried, “I’M GINGER!” Sirius stands up and runs into the bathroom giving a loud shout into the mirror at the sight of himself. Remus smiled, grateful that his boyfriend is much more able to move past things than himself. 

After a few seconds Sirius’ blushing head poked over the side of the door. “I love you too dork…” Then his head disappeared again, and all Remus heard was him muttering about his hair. Eventually Remus got up to help him turn it back to his normal colour of black. And while Remus figured out what to do Sirius told him about the group of kids who had caused the mischief. Apparently they had put out some kind of potion in all the drinks at lunch to dye all the students' hairs red. Sirius ranted for most of the time about who possibly could have done it, speculating about if it was a slytherin or maybe a Hufflepuff. Remus kept quiet, but in his mind he had a certain Red head that would have been perfect for the job.

****

The ‘I love you even if…’s had continued on with their life. During their years at Hogwarts when Remus got dysphoria about his chest or his scars, Sirius would hold him and tell him ‘I love you even if…’s. Or when Sirius got a letter from his biological family or his brother said something, Remus would do the same. Once, after a mission for the order where Remus had to go off the radar for 2 weeks he showed up at home and muttered.. “Even if you're ginger…” before collapsing in his crying husband's arms. 

When Sirius escaped from Azkaban and was on the run he showed up at Remus’ house, looking through the window. But never knocking, never saying anything, cause ‘Even if you thought I killed them?’

When Remus finally saw Sirius alone after 12 years he hugged him and whispered, “Even when you leave. Even when everyone doubted you. Even when I doubted you.”

On the night Sirius passed through the veil Remus sat in Sirius’ old room crying and yelling out into the empty void, “Even when you're dead and gone.”

Finally when the final curse hit Remus on the field of Hogwarts he heard a familiar voice say to him, “Even when you take forever getting here.” The shorter form hugged him tightly, swearing to never let go. 

[goodxgraces]

marauders headcanons by me

remus: he's bi and uses he/they pronouns, i think he realized during third year when he got turned on seeing frank shirtless. he probably has a preference for boys and he discovered he liked sirius nearing the end of their fourth year

james: he's pan and cis. he always thought he was straight because he was obsessed with lily but when remus came out to him in fifth year he started asking questions about the lgbtqia+ community and he eventually realized the gender of his partner didn't really matter to him. then he developed a crush on regulus and asked him out

sirius: in my opinion they're non-binary and use they/them pronouns. they always knew they were not a boy but repressed it because as we all know orion and walburga are awesome parents. they had a crush on remus since third year but didn't realize because everyone feels like that about their bestfriend right? right?!?

peter: i think peter is straight but ace, he never felt sexual attraction in any way towards anyone. he always knew but didn't think there was a word of it, he overheard remus talking about it with james and tried to find information

lily: she's bi but at first thought she was a lesbian, found out really early, in second year, and the first one she came out to was marlene

marlene: raging she/they lesbian, never understood what her friends liked about boys like what's so special about them?? have you seen girls?? GIRLS?? almost fainted the first time she saw dorcas, and got distracted by her multiple times during quiddich matches (there was a year when gryffindor lost almost every match against slytherin because james, marlene and alice were completely head over heels for their crushes)

mary: she started questioning her sexuality after literally all her friends turned out queer, she realized she liked boys and girls, but maybe even non-binary people? but she doesn't like labels

regulus: he's trans, uses he/him, and is very much gay. he was jealous of sirius because he could wear shirts and ties and boyish clothing while he was forced by walburga to dress super femenine. he came out to sirius at seven and they obiouvsly supported him. so regulus lended his eyeliner to sirius, who gave regulus his old clothes

evan: deeply gay but didn't realize because of compulsory heterosexuality, in love with barty since forever but they're both so dumb they noticed their very obvious (to everyone but them) feelings in seventh year

barty: just as oblivious as evan, he had a "oh. oh." moment and suddently understood everything, doesn't use labels

dorcas: hated marlene, but always talked about her "i hate mckinnon, and her beautiful face, and her mouthwatering abs, mckinnon this, mckinnon that", all the slytherins in her year were making bets about how much time would it take her to realize she was absolutely smitten

pandora: she's aroace, just as xenophilius, and they have a cute qpr relationship. but since she wanted to be a mother they decided to adopt luna

frank: he's the only cis and straight person of the friend group so obviously he's a huge ally

alice: they're pan and go by they/them. had a relationship with narcissa but broke up with her because she accepted lucius's proposal, and later they fell in love with frank

narcissa: she's an ace lesbian, but was forced to marry lucius even though she was in love with alice

that's all folks thanks for coming to my ted talk

[messers-moony]

Moony Wants, Moony Gets | R.L

Paring: Young!Remus Lupin X Slytherin!Fem!Reader

Summary: Moony has a natural wanting for his mate making his possessiveness visible the closer it gets to the full moon. 

He was always jealous. Blame it on the wolf in him, if you will, but Remus Lupin was highly possessive. Especially over what’s his - maybe not even what’s his but what he wants. She was gorgeous and his perfect mate—long tuffs of h/c hair and gleaming e/c eyes that glittered in the limelight. There was one problem with her, though—one major flaw in her mess of perfection. 

Y/n L/n, cunning, ambitious, resourceful, and charismatic. 

That was the problem. Y/n was a Slytherin, and Remus was a half-blood Gryffindor. To make matters worse, her closest friend was Regulus Black - Sirius Blacks brother. Remus’ best friend's brother. But Remus couldn’t help it. Her voice was like a siren's call, and her beauty was a rival to Aphrodite, but she had the wisdom of Athena. Y/n was a perfect balance of everything. 

Closer to the full moon, his possessiveness became more of a problem. Sirius was noticing the low growl that would erupt from Remus whenever someone stepped close to Y/n. James saw the lingering glares left on any male within a six feet distance of her. Even Peter observed his green eyes turn a shade darker as if someone mixed black paint into his usually bright eyes. 

Y/n sat at the Slytherin table, a cup of coffee beside her as she spoke intently with Regulus. Meanwhile, a Gryffindor across the Great Hall was glaring daggers at the younger Black brother's head. Sirius nudged him, grabbing his attention. 

“Mate, you’re growling again.” Sirius whispered, and Remus’ cheeks turned pink, “Am not.”

James gave an unconvincing grin, “Mhm, totally.”

“I was not growling.”

“I think you were.” James replied, “Definitely was.” Sirius added. 

Remus sighed, pushing his plate away to lay his head on the table, “What’s got Moony all wound up?” James queried, Remus, deadpanned looking at the laughing girl across the room. 

“I think I know.” Sirius simpered, “Do you now? Don’t be a tosser.” James stated teasingly. 

“Turn around. Slytherin, talking with Reggie.” 

He turned and looked back at Remus with his jaw dropped, “No- fucking- way.”

“What?”

“She’s the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, you tosser!” 

“Oh…”

James snorted, “Yeah, oh.”

“Looks like Moony found his mate.” Sirius winked, and Remus groaned, “Shut up about it, will you?”

“Never.” 

It felt weird. James wouldn’t shut up about how brilliant Y/n was, how the Slytherin’s Quidditch team was able to make plays that no one else would’ve even thought about. Sirius wouldn’t stop offering to talk to Regulus to see if maybe he had any intel on her. Strangely enough, Peter was silent but had a guilty look on his face. Guilty sufficient for Remus to comment. 

“Why do you look guilty, Wormtail?” Remus inquired, and Peter's cheeks flushed pink, “She- Y/n isn’t- um….” 

“What do you know that we don’t, Peter?” Sirius queried, his voice harsh, “She isn’t what you think. That’s all I’m saying.” Peter stammered out nervously. 

James tilted his head at the blue-eyed boy, “And you know this how?” 

“She’s my ex-girlfriend.”

“Woah! Hold on a second!” Sirius exclaimed in shock, “When did this happen?!”

“Back in fourth year.” Peter informed, “She seemed nice enough until you start to get serious with her. Y/n’s sharp-tongued and extremely ill-tempered.” 

Sirius sniggered, “Sounds like Moony.”

“Oi!”

“Sorry!”

“So, what does this mean for Remus?” James questioned further, “It doesn’t mean anything. Just be careful. I don’t care if you date her. Means nothing to me.” Peter replied, putting his hands up in innocent. 

Remus stared at Peter with curiosity swirling. How much did he truly know about Y/n? How did he manage to date her? Nonetheless, it didn’t mean anything to Remus because Moony wanted her. What Moony wants is what Moony gets. Later that evening, after prefect patrol, he padded into the library to dismiss any working students. But there were only two students inside. They sat in a secluded corner of the library. Regulus Black and Y/n L/n. 

Was it envy? Was it jealousy? He didn’t have time to ponder. Y/n had her head laid on Regulus’ shoulder and both her arms wrapped around his one arm. Regulus had leaned his head on top of hers, wavy black hair intertwined with her h/c hair. Both their eyes were closed, apparent they were asleep—potion and Transfiguration books placed on top of the wooden table along with an open sketchbook. 

What was he supposed to do in this situation? Wake them up? If it was just Y/n, perhaps he could’ve, but Regulus was with her, and Regulus wasn’t too fond of Remus for being friends with his older brother. Madam Pince had already left for the night, either choosing not to disturb them or didn’t notice them. Remus saw the inkpot beside the Potions book, almost empty. It was Y/n’s inkpot because the ink wasn’t black. It was a deep grape color. 

Remus sighed and grabbed the ink from his bag, charming it the same color. Discretely he took hers and swapped it out with his. Leaving a piece of parchment on top. Remus left the library without another word. Waking them up was a risk he’d rather not take. But now, he laid in his bed wondering how she’d feel about the new ink on the table. 

The sun began to rise, and Y/n’s body felt stiff. Carefully she began to stir awake after noticing a body beside her. Opening her eyes, everything seemed blurry, but after blinking a few times, she recognized the library books and the person's scent beside her. Regulus, her best friend. Y/n yawned and pulled away from him, about to begin packing their belongings, but she noticed a piece of parchment that lay on top of her ink. 

“Noticed you were out. You can have mine.“ 

Y/n hummed appreciatively. She didn’t know who gave her their ink, but she was eternally grateful for them saving her a trip to Hogsmeade. Y/n poked at Regulus’ right side, and he eventually stirred awake. His curls disheveled and his body just as stiff as she was. Regulus opened his eyes and met her e/c ones. 

“Did we fall asleep?” He groaned, and Y/n scoffed, “What do you think, dingus?”

“No need to be mean this early in the morning, Merlin.” 

“Someone saw us last night, though.” Y/n stated, and Regulus noticeably jumped, “Who?”

She shrugged, “Not sure, but they left me a new pot of ink.”

“Lucky you.”

“Lucky me.”

Both best friends cleared their table. Y/n put her Potions books away, and Regulus put his Transfiguration books away. Y/n stared at the writing on the parchment she had received earlier that day. The handwriting was almost unrecognizable. It was messy and sprawled. Whoever this was did not have good handwriting or was in a rush. But the day carried on. In Potions, Y/n sat in the front while the Marauders sat in the back. Remus stared holes in the back of Y/n’s head. 

“She’s gonna notice if you keep staring at her like that.” Sirius muttered. 

Remus sighed and continued to write his notes. If he tried hard enough, he could make out her elegant purple ink from here. It always baffled him why she chose purple over traditional black - suppose it wasn’t really any of his business, but he couldn’t help but wonder. The familiar sketchbook sat on top of the desk as well; he could see doodles in the same deep purple color. Occasionally Regulus - who sat beside her - would nudge her to pay attention, gaining an annoyed groan. 

Potions class always smelt weird. It was a mixture of glue, seaweed, and salt. It was also constantly humid. It brought shivers down Remus’ spine. He noticed it doing the same to the Slytherin girl at the front. Remus craved nothing more than to wrap his robe around her, but he was too late. Regulus was already doing the action, which earned him one of her jaw-dropping smiles. Unconsciously he began growling again. This time, James smacked his arm. 

“Mate!” 

“Sorry…” 

Dinner was even worse. Y/n had yet to remove Regulus’ robes leaving him in a button-down white shirt and the usual uniform. Sirius was surprised at his younger brother's chivalry but didn’t speak much. The full moon was that night, and as dinner progressed, Remus only gained more possessive. James and Sirius gave up on trying to scold him. It was apparent Moony wanted - no - needed her. Slytherin captain be damned, Y/n was going to be Moonys. 

A dry winter night. As usual, Remus walked to the Whomping Willow with his three friends following him. Tonight was normal in the sense of his friends turning into their animagus,’ but the odd thing was letting him out of the shack. The werewolf and the dog ran around the forest together. The rat and stag lagging behind, allowing the two animals to play together. But a stick-breaking brought the attention of the werewolves to the new person. 

He could smell them. Hear their blood running through their veins. Their heart pounding at a standard rate. The dogs barking could be heard, trying to distract the werewolf. The scent was female, and she wasn’t scared. Instead, the girl approached with confidence sticking out her hand to the wolf. Padfoot barked loudly. Prongs backed down, looking nervous. Wormtail squeaked loudly. But she came with confidence and assurance. 

Moony growled, “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” She cooed, “You’re safe with me.”

The h/c haired girl knelt on the grass, “No need to be scared, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Moony hesitantly put his snout in the girl's palm, making her grin. His fur was soft to the touch, and his eyes turned soft. Her smile was beautiful, and Moony nuzzled his hand into her soft palm. She chuckled and patted him more. Padfoot barked excitedly and ran to her, but the werewolf started to bare his teeth again. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m yours.” 

The wolf seemed to calm down at her words allowing Padfoot to approach her. Smiling brightly, she pet both animals, “It’s okay, love.”

“My name’s Y/n. I didn’t know that there was a werewolf here.” Y/n greeted as Moony curled up beside her, his head on her thigh, Padfoot doing the same on the other side.

She caught sight of the other two animals and whistled for their attention, “C’mere.”

Prongs and Wormtail approached nervously, but Moony gave no sense of protectiveness. Y/n’s words resonated in his head over and over again, “I’m yours.” The wolf fell asleep beside her, Padfoot doing the same. Prongs approached, and Y/n patted the top of his head. Wormtail sat in front of her knee. They seemed at peace. It was the first time Moony ever felt at ease. They’d be lying if it didn’t make them happy. 

Y/n stayed up all night with the animals. Despite the animals not knowing, Y/n knew that the stag, rat, and dog were animagus’. The werewolf was unknown to her. The following morning when the stag turning into James, rat into Peter, dog into Sirius. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to find out who the werewolf was. When he turned back into a human with his clothes tattered. Y/n continued to run her fingers through his hair as he slept. 

“Morning, Marauders,” Y/n commented. 

“You’re- you-“ James stuttered.

She laughed, “Apparently, your moony really likes me.”

“Would you mind petting me again?” Sirius teased, “Maybe.” Y/n retorted, winking. 

Sirius laid down on her other thigh that Remus wasn’t laying on, smiling; she ran her fingers through their hair, “You’re a godsend, lemme tell you.”

James and Peter sat in front of Y/n, “What made you want to take a walk in the forbidden forest last night?”

“Just wanted some air.” Y/n answered. 

Remus groaned and began pushing his head onto Y/n’s hand, “Morning, Remus.”

The Marauders and Y/n had never seen him jump up that fast, “What- you- I- uh-“

“Didn’t know you were a werewolf.”

“I- uh…”

“Sirius, for the love of God, get off her lap.” James interject, slapping the boy on the head playfully, “But it feels so good.” Sirius drawled. 

James grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the grass. In the process, Sirius got a mouthful of dirt and grass, “You wanker.”

“Did I- erm- hurt you?” Remus questioned shyly, “Nope, I'm completely unscathed.” Y/n smiled reassuringly. 

Remus turned to his friends, “Nope! Y/n saved us all.”

“Are you hurt?” Y/n inquired to Remus, who took a quick look at himself, “I- I don’t believe so….”

Sirius blew a raspberry, “Thank Merlin! Dragging you to the hospital wing is bloody exhausting.”

Silence filled the forest until Sirius smirked, “You know, mate when you were talking about Moony wanting her. I thought you were joking. Turns out you weren’t.”

“Oi!”

“Oh, Merlin…”

Y/n chuckled, “Well, Moony is rather cute if I’m honest.”

Remus’ cheeks blasted with pink, and Sirius laughed. James shook his head with a big grin, and Peter looked amused with Y/n’s confession. Without hesitation, Y/n leaned over to kiss Remus’ cheek, making him hide his face flustered. She stood up and ruffled Sirius’ hand, gently rubbing her nails across his scalp, making Sirius try to lean into her palm. They all stared at her except for Remus, who was equally embarrassed and flustered. 

“If you’re looking for a fifth Marauder, I know the Slytherin common room password.” Y/n winked as she walked to the castle. 

[seriouslysnape]

Hii would you maybe write remus x reader where its the night before the full moon and remus is really horny like A LOT and so reader takes care of him and makes him cum multiple times ? (Nothing to kinky , just needy loving fucking?)

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. I’M BLUSHING SO HARD AT THIS I AM GOING TO EXPLODE. 

I, uh....NEED YALL TO LEMME KNOW IF I DID OKAY ON THIS BECAUSE I WAS BLUSHING SO HARD THE WHOLE TIME I WASNT EVEN SURE WHAT I WAS SAYING. 

__

With a Vengeance 

Remus Lupin x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Smut.

Word Count: 2,818

“You deserve to feel good too, darling.”

__

You could always tell when the full moon was soon to be. Not because of the way the lake’s reflection was a little glassier or how the stars seemed to twinkle a tad brighter. No, the dead giveaway was Remus’ behavior around you. He was a werewolf after all, and his instincts always grew stronger the closer the moon came to hitting its fullest phase. More specifically, Remus’ sex drive was always through the roof in the days before the full moon.

He would start with being very lingering around you, not daring to stray too far or let you out of his sights. He’d get touchy next, his hands constantly on you in some manner. He’d leave kisses on your skin and eventually start whispering dirty things in your ear that would make you rub your thighs together in anticipation. 

You usually kept track of the full moon, so you’d know when to expect him to be absent for a few days or when to be prepared to shower him with love and care. However, this time it had gotten away from you. You had been slammed this week, busy with work, and trying to get your ducks in a row so you’d feel more organized. 

Remus had been all over you today, kissing at your neck and slipping his hand into your pants as often as he could. His affection had carried into the end of the day when the two of you retreated to your Hogwarts quarters. He knew you had work to do, but that didn’t stop him from stroking your skin and kissing you wherever he saw fit. 

You had snapped at him once, telling him that he needed to keep his hands to himself until you were finished.

Remus realized you had forgotten, and he was trying his hardest to be patient and allow you to do what you needed to...but you just looked so beautiful with your focus drawn in on whatever you were doing. He looked over you and how you sat wearing nothing but your bra and a pair of shorts. Remus uncomfortably palmed at his crotch that was well on its way to becoming a full erection as he began pacing around your shared bedroom. While he hated to interrupt you, his situation grew dire and his head was clouded with temptation.

“Hey, love?” He called, stopping his cycled steps.

You didn’t look up from the desk that was stationed on the other side. You only let out a hum to acknowledge that you had indeed heard him. He groaned out a sigh, rubbing at his groin once more.

“Do you think that could wait until tomorrow?” He queried, feeling his arousal heightening with each passing moment.

“I’m afraid not. I need to give these to Albus as soon as possible.” You replied, thinking that Remus was just ready to go to bed. 

A pit of despair and dejection filled his gut. Remus threw his head back in defeat and he let out a harsh, guttural sound. Surprised at such a reaction, you turned in your chair to look at him.

“Remus, what-” You were cut off when you saw the hitch in his boxers. 

You caught a glimpse of the almost full moon outside the window. Your confused look melted into a look of knowingness. You suddenly remembered that the full moon was only a day out, which explained why Remus had been acting the way he had. 

“Oh, that’s right. The full moon is tomorrow,” You announced, grazing over the bulge in his underwear. You threw down your quill onto the desk; “Forget this then.”

Remus brought his head back looking at you with desperation. He did a silent victory cheer that you had given up your work for him.

“Darling, I really...really need to touch you.” He said, his voice at a deep whisper and full of pleading.

You stood slowly from your chair, walking over to your husband who was jittery with eagerness. You pressed your body against his, your fingertips toying with his waistband. 

“Is Moony back with a vengeance?” You asked jokingly, knowing that his increased drive was just a side effect of his upcoming transformation.

“You have no idea.” Remus muttered, never looking away from you.

You giggled, reaching a hand into his boxers and stroking his hard length. He let out a whimper that was enough to almost make you feel sympathetic. He kissed you deeply, moaning into your mouth as you continued to pleasure him with your hand. You knew that wasn’t all he needed. You sank to your knees after a moment or so, Remus’ heart dropping a little.

He was never one to turn down a blowjob from you, but he always felt a little bad. Not that he didn’t ever return the favor, though. You yanked his boxers down with your other hand, hungrily looking over him. He brought his hands to your head, holding it steady. You left a tantalizing kiss, just barely licking his tip. He spoke, more like begged, to you.

“Baby, please don’t tease me. I can’t handle it tonight.” He breathed, his voice in almost a quiver. 

Remus wasn’t kidding. This full moon was extra strong to have him falling apart like this. 

“I won’t tease you. I’ll take care of you, honey.” You promised, finally taking him into your mouth. 

His grip tightened in your hair, a sigh escaping his chest. Your head bobbed as you sucked him off the way you knew he liked: taking him all the way. You swallowed around him, keeping your gag reflex from triggering. He watched as you pulled your head back and pushed himself back into your face.

“You’re so pretty on your knees...always so good for me.” He breathed out. 

You let out a happy noise, moving your head faster to get him to his finish. He loved the way you paid special attention to his tip, sometimes leaving kisses on his thighs and hips. He was always so appreciative during these times that you were always there to satisfy him and did it with joy. He was so lucky to have you, and he never let you forget how thankful he was for you.

He felt his dick twitch in your throat, his hot release spilling into you with his relieved moan, which caused a startled squeal to come from you. You took your mouth off of him, but swallowed dutifully. His skin was flushed and his breathing was heavy, but this was only a warm up. He needed more. 

You got up from your knees, and he kissed you so fast that it was dizzying. He was being rougher now, which only made you want him more. He removed what was left of your clothes, throwing off his own shirt. His hands were glued to you. His lips were hot on your neck as he left kisses and whispered his praises in your ear. You were moaning with every spot he sucked on, your voice coming out as a rasp.

“Remus...get on the bed.” You said, feeling the ache of desire between your legs.

He stopped his kisses, guiding you to your bed that he hadn’t even bothered to make when he left after you that morning. He laid on the mattress, watching as you wasted no time straddling him and leaning down to kiss him. He could feel how slick you were already, he smirked under the kiss.

“You’re already so wet.” He said, reaching and rubbing slow circles onto your clit.

You whimpered out, his fingers working magic on your sensitive sex. He slipped two of his fingers inside of you, his fingers curled and massaged your inner walls, feeling how you were coated with slickness. You had almost forgotten that this was supposed to be about him, but that didn’t stop you from rolling your hips as you began to ride his fingers.

“Remus, I’m supposed to be making you feel good. Oh...” You moaned.

He smiled up at you, even when he was the one desperately wanting you, you still couldn’t resist him. He chuckled.

“You deserve to feel good too, darling.” He said, watching you grow closer to your own release.

But you didn’t want to finish just yet. You stilled his hand, making him withdraw his fingers. He looked you dead in the eyes as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean. You always felt so prideful when he did that. Before he could ask why you stopped him, you raised yourself up and sank completely down onto his length. 

You both let out a noise that time, feeling a rush at the new sensation. Your movements were slow at first, making Remus whine. You smiled breathlessly down at him.

“What is it, baby? How bad do you need me?” You said in a teasing way.

He growled, knowing you were messing with him.

“You said you wouldn’t tease me...fuck, don’t be mean.” He said, rotating his hips into you.

You let out a sultry laugh. You didn’t want him to suffer more, so you gave in.

“Okay, Remus. I hear you.” You replied, dropping your act and starting to actually ride him.

You rocked and fucked him harder than you normally would, his groans and erratic noises as a testament to it.

“Oh, yes...” He huffed out, his hands kneading at your breasts and gripping at your waist.

You arch your back and release a high pitched moan, a blend of ecstasy and relief coursing through you. He thrusted his hips upward to go as deep as he possibly could, filling and stretching you as perfectly as he always did. You bounced on his lap and felt the delicious feeling of his dick deep inside of you and hitting your most sensitive spot. 

You were making noises every time you slammed back down onto him. Your lower stomach began to tighten and get hot, throwing your head back and crying out his name. He bucked his hips up into you, pushing your higher and higher into your climax as well as hitting his own. 

“Don’t stop, [Y/N].” He said as more of a warning than a request.

He was praying that you weren’t going to fuck with him further and suddenly stop and put off his release. An amused smirk appeared on your face, opening your eyes and looking down at him.

“Don’t worry. I’m gonna let you cum, baby.” You granted, continuing the rocking of your hips.

With a few final pushes, he came inside of you and you came around him. Every neuron in your body was fired up as a satisfied squeak signaled your end. You both stopped moving, the only sounds now being your hard breathings. He leaned up from the pillows on the bed, leaving lazy, breathless kisses on your skin. You had never rocked his world quite like that, his vision being dotted with little black spots. 

He mumbled into your neck as he lifted your limp body off of him, letting you fall on the mattress next to him so you could rest for a minute.

“Come here, my darling.” He cooed, kissing your swollen lips and dancing his fingertips over your slightly sticky skin.

Your arms fell above your head as your body returned to normal, your head in a delightful fog. You looked into his eyes, but didn’t see that usual look of after-sex bliss that he always had. They were still fiery with lust. 

“Fuck me again, Remus.” You purred out abruptly, once you were recovered and sucking a hickey on his neck.

Every fiber in his being was screaming yes, but he lightly protested.

“You’ve done more than enough, sweetheart. I’ll be fine. It’s just a hard full moon this time, I suppose.” He said with a smile, but not even denying that he wanted one more round. 

You looked at him sensually. His eyes told another story. You ran your thumb over the scar across his cheek.

“You sure about that?” You prompted.

Remus’ pupils dilated in thought, running his tongue along the inside of his lower lip as you moved to nibble on his earlobe. You purposefully moaned in his ear, sending him over the edge. He was between your knees, having your legs around his waist in seconds. His hands gripped your thighs, keeping you firmly around him. He scanned over your naked body that was sprawled out on the bed.

This was one of his favorite parts. Seeing you laid out underneath him, squirming with expectation. There were so many things that you did (some intentional and some not) that drove him absolutely wild. You way you bit your lower lip whenever you caught him staring at you, only using your imagination to wonder what he was thinking when he looked at you. 

He loved the way you cared for him in all aspects: physically, emotionally, mentally. There wasn’t a square inch of you that he didn’t prize and treasure over. You were his entire world. His reason for breathing. 

He pushed his shaft through your folds, relishing and groaning at the feel of you once more. Your alluring sigh signaled him to start moving, pulling out and back in at a rapid pace. Your inviting sounds were music to his ears.

You pushed your body down to meet each of his thrusts, allowing him to hit just the right spot. You could feel the pent up tension that he had built up with each rough entrance back into you. He held your hands above your head, his other hand pinning your hips to the mattress. 

He pulled out again and one particular slam back into you caused you to moan louder than normal, causing Remus to speed up even more. Your chest bouncing with his every thrust. You were completely focused on the feeling of him dragging in and out of you. He let out a noise that resembled a growl that sent vibrations all through your body. Every cell in your body felt like it might combust with pleasure. 

“You’re such a good girl. Every time you’re so good for me,” He glorified; “Oh, darling, how I adore you...” 

Your legs tightened around him, letting him know you were close.

“I love you.” You breathed out, 

He grinned, an even deeper blush appearing on his face.

“I love you, angel.” 

You involuntarily clenched around him with a pitchy cry, releasing once again and hitting your high. He felt his own spiral, thrusting a time or two more and spilled his release into you again. He groaned in solace, pulling out of you. Your hearts were pounding and your minds were racing. You looked up at him and smiled with joy as the look of euphoria in his eyes. You persuaded him to fall next to you so he didn’t totally collapse.

He pulled you to him, showering you with soft kisses and snuggles. He entwined your legs with his, his hand resting on the outside of your thigh and feeling your muscles contracting violently. He looked at you with hilarity, but also concern at the feel of your trembling legs.

“You’re shaking.” He noted aloud.

There wasn’t a stitch of discomfort or unpleasantness on your face. You beamed up at him, fiddling with one of his hands. 

“I’m perfect. I may not be able to feel my legs tomorrow, but I’m okay.” You said, kissing his jaw.

He laid with you in silence, feeling the air cool your heated skin and allow your heart rates to return to normal. 

“I can’t wait to see you after the full moon passes. I hate being away from you.” He admitted, pushing a strand of hair from your face.

You nodded. Remus always liked to stay away during the full moon. Even if he took Wolfsbane Potion, he was still weary of how dangerous it could be. If Moony ever hurt you...or worse, he couldn’t live with himself.

“I know. But it won’t be long. You’ll be back soon,” You comforted him; “Tell Moony I said hello.” You joked.

He snickered at that.

“Of course, love.” 

A silence fell over the both of you, just enjoying each other’s presence. He massaged you gently, knowing that he had totally overstimulated you enough for one evening. Although, he still playfully teased you when you went to get up.

“I need to go shower.” You announced, making your way to the bathroom on shaky legs.

“Is there room for one more?” He winked at you.

You both knew there was no way either of you’d make another round. You weren’t exactly young and spry teenagers anymore. You scoffed.

“Only if you keep your hands to yourself.” You giggled.

Remus shot up from the bed, following you into the shower.

“No promises.”

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Perpetual Force’ (wolfstar)

Perpetual Force, by weightyghosts

‘Sirius finds the hidden meaning of a hidden moon, and Remus finds the light to his darkness.’

Rating: teen

Word count: 2000

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: April 1, 2021

Warnings: swearing, nightmares

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30393084 

      The sound of a terrified gasp and muffled sob abruptly awoke Sirius in the middle of the night. He leapt out of bed, the stone floor freezing on his bare feet, as James and Peter popped their sleepy heads out of their drapes.

“What’s going on?” Peter rubbed his eyes, his voice gruff.

“Is some- someone dead or injured?” James asked around a large yawn.

Sirius ignored them as he rushed across the dark room to the bed opposite his. He drew aside the curtain, only enough for him to lean his upper body in, and saw Remus sitting up with his back against the headboard, one hand clutching at his sweaty hair, trying to calm his rapid breathing.

“Rem?” Sirius asked softly, “Are you alright?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on Remus’ shoulder, but Remus jerked away and scrambled to the other side of the bed.

“It’s nothing,” he choked out as he stood up and dashed away, “I’m fine. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

Sirius straightened and walked around the bed, as Remus firmly shut the bathroom door behind him. He hovered in the middle of the room, chewing on the inside of his cheek, before glancing back at Peter, who gave Sirius a shrug before disappearing behind his curtains.

“Go on,” James encouraged, then made a shooing motion with his hand when Sirius didn’t reply.

“What?” Sirius grumbled.

“We both know you’re going in there after him.”

“He’s upset, Prongs.”

“Yes, and I’m sure deep down he wants you to comfort him-”

“You mean someone. He wants someone to comfort him.”

“No, I very much mean you,” James insisted with a smirk that Sirius didn’t trust. “Just go, Pads. See- see you in the morning,” he yawned again and disappeared.

Sirius bounced on the balls of his feet, trying to figure out why James’ words left him feeling like he was missing something right in front of him, but he thought of Remus and decided to sort that out later.

He crept over to the bathroom and opened the door slowly. Cool air hit him and he turned to the window that had been thrown open. Remus was sitting on the sill, hugging his legs, moonlight the only thing illuminating his body. It was enough for Sirius to see that he was shivering.  

Remus sighed at the sound of Sirius shutting the door behind him, and pushed aside the fringe sticking to his damp forehead. “I’m fine, Sirius. You don’t need to check on me.”

“Oh, good,” Sirius retorted as he came closer, “I was actually hoping you’d check on me. See, I had a nasty nightmare and now I’m all shaky and sweaty and panicky and not accepting comfort from anyone.”

He sat across from the werewolf on the sill they had magically enlarged so that two people could sit comfortably, and three squished together, for smoking purposes.

Remus narrowed his eyes at him, then looked away. “Trust me, it’s nothing. Just a stupid dream.”

“Doesn’t seem stupid, Moony.”

Sirius almost missed Remus’ minute flinch at the nickname. “Another one about the wolf?” He guessed.

“No,” he murmured, “I mean, yes, sort of. But this was new.”

“Tell me,” Sirius replied softly, aching with the desire to take away Remus’ pain.

Remus studied his face for a moment, likely assessing how awake Sirius was and how far he would keep pushing Remus until he inevitably gave in. He huffed in defeat, then took a deep, wavering breath, and rested his chin on his knees as he spoke.

“We were in the forest,” he started in a low voice. “I could feel the moon rising and knew I was only a few minutes away from turning. You three were there- as Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail, I mean, and something felt...off. Padfoot was pacing, and whining a bit. You looked up at the sky, and when I did too, I realized... I couldn’t see the moon.”

Sirius frowned, but said nothing, as he watched Remus’ eyes flick over to the near-full moon stamped in the sky outside.

“I felt this sense of dread; I knew that this was bad-”

“How did you know?” Sirius interrupted.

“It’s a dream, Sirius. I don’t know how, but I just knew; if I didn’t find the moon, something bad would happen.”

“Alright, sorry, keep going.”

“We were pretty deep in the forest where the trees are thicker, so I started running in the direction of the castle, hoping to see the sky unobstructed as the trees thinned. All I could hear was this ringing in my ears and my heart beating faster and faster. My body was aching and starting to shake, you know how it does just before.” Remus glanced up, and Sirius hummed in acknowledgment.

“I made it to a large clearing,” Remus continued, “And I looked up at where I knew the moon should be...but the sky was empty. You’d think I’d be fucking happy, but I panicked. I ran around in circles, tried to climb trees, tried to find the bloody moon. And I couldn’t. I eventually collapsed; the wolf couldn’t get free and it was punishing me. It was the worst pain...”

“Fuck, Rem...”

“I couldn’t find the moon, Pads.” Remus put a hand over his face as he laughed without humour, the sound catching in his throat.

Sirius slid forward and put his hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay,” he promised, “You’re okay, it wasn’t real. You won’t have to go through that kind of pain, alright?”

Remus shook his head back and forth, then sniffed loudly as he met Sirius’ eyes.

“I don’t think it was the pain that freaked me out so much.”

“What, then?” Sirius asked, sliding his hand down to hold onto Remus’ wrist when he hesitated. He tilted his head to tell Remus to keep going.

“I just don’t understand why I reacted like that… Why wasn’t I fucking ecstatic not to see the moon? All I want is for the moon to go away.”

“That’s just unreasonable, Remus, the tides would be all out of whack,” Sirius joked.

The corner of Remus’ mouth twitched up into a smile, but it didn’t last.

“I don’t get it, Pads,” he said dejectedly.

Sirius shrugged. “I think it makes sense.”  

Remus stared at him like he’d just said he prefers coffee over tea, or something else equally abhorrent.

“You know,” Sirius reflected, “The day before I went on the Hogwarts Express for the first time, I actually told my parents I didn’t want to go.”

“Why? Because they said you had to?”

“Maybe a little,” he chuckled. Remus knew him well enough to know that he would have refused his favourite ice cream just because his parents told him to eat it. “But no, I think it was more...fear. I was afraid.”

Remus tilted his head in a thoroughly adorable way. “Why would you be afraid of coming to Hogwarts? Didn’t you want a break from your parents?”

“I did,” he confirmed, “I wanted to get away from them. But it’s the most common fear in the world, isn’t it? Being afraid of the unknown? I was scared at home too, but at least I knew what to expect. I knew how my parents would react to anything I said or did. Coming here... I had no idea. What if I didn’t get sorted into Slytherin? Or worse, what if I did... What if my roommates hated me-”

“Not possible.”

“Yes it was! I know you didn’t like me at first.”

“You were a bit of a prick,” Remus conceded.

“I was a proper arse,” Sirius smirked unapologetically, drawing a small laugh from Remus. “It’s the unknown, Moony,” he continued more seriously, “As much as you hate what you go through every month, it’s been the one constant in your life for as long as you can remember. You know what to expect from it. There’s a lot changing in the world around us, and we only have a few months left of school; I think we’re all feeling the weight of it. It’s okay to be worried. But we’ll get through it, yeah?”

Remus didn’t reply, simply gazed at Sirius for a long while, before nodding thoughtfully. He turned his head to look out at the night sky, and Sirius was able to watch the moonlight on his beautiful face; the shadows under his eyes, his long lashes, the slope of his nose, the corners of his mouth still turned down in sadness.

Remus had long since stopped being angry at the moon, stopped glaring at it whenever it deigned to blemish the sky. He looked at it now in a somber resignation; how someone would observe the grave of a loved one long since passed.

Sirius realized he was still holding onto Remus, and quickly found it difficult to remember what he wanted to say.

When he did, he whispered, “Moony?”  

“Hm?”

“If you ever can’t find the moon, you can come find me.”

“What?” Remus turned to look at him. “Sirius-”

“No, listen,” he cut in, suddenly desperate to make Remus understand, “I know I’ve broken your trust before, but it will never happen again. I’ll always be there for you.”

Sirius slid his fingers from Remus’ wrist to his hand, holding it tight, as Remus’ eyes flicked across his face. “I’ll always be there,” Sirius urged, “The moon is the perpetual force in your life pulling you into the dark? Then I’ll be the perpetual force pulling you into the light.”

Remus just stared back at him, his eyes wide and glittering, his mouth open. Sirius waited for him to say something, but he didn’t.

Instead, he tugged Sirius’ hand, pulling him close as Remus leaned forward. Sirius’ mind froze like he’d been stupefied, but he managed to realize what was happening a second before it did, and he felt Remus’ lips press against his, gently, yet firmly.

Remus pulled back slightly, waiting for Sirius’ reaction.

“Did- did you just kiss me?” Sirius asked stupidly.

“Erm, yes?”

“Did you... mean to do that?”

“Yes?”

Remus bit his lip, and Sirius’ eyes were drawn to the mouth that had just been on his. There was a bead of saliva on Remus’ top lip. His hand felt warm and tingly from where they touched, though, really, it was nothing compared to the raging fire building inside him.

“Did you...want to do it again?”

“Yes,” Remus exhaled, his face lighting up with a grin that Sirius immediately surged forward to capture. Remus’ lips tasted like tea and honey and peppermint, and Sirius could tell he was quickly becoming addicted to it.

“Thank you,” Remus whispered after a divine moment.

“For kissing you?”

“For following me in here and comforting me.”

“I thought you were comforting me?”

“Ah is that what I’m doing?” Remus smirked. His face softened and he ran his thumb along Sirius’ palm. “You were wrong though, you know.”

“I highly doubt that,” Sirius dismissed. “About what?”

“You said the moon has been the only constant in my life for as long as I can remember. But that’s not true.”

He looked deep into Sirius’ eyes, and Sirius felt his heart stutter at the adoration in them. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, Pads. My love for you has been a constant in my life too.”

“Oh,” Sirius breathed. The words felt like sunlight washing over him, and he took a second to let the warmth seep into his bones. “Moony…” He brought a hand up to cup Remus’ cheek and tilted his face as their lips fit together, hoping to convey every feeling that was lost on his tongue into his touches.

“Me too, Moons,” he professed in between kisses, “As long as I can remember.”

The rest of the night was spent in each other's arms, as were the next nights for a long, long while.

*

[visd3stele]

The beauty and his beast - wolfstar fic

summary: two different nights, years passed, some things changes, but some never do

TW: nightmares, PTSD, trauma, non depictive child abuse, themes of suicidal thoughts

A/N: I loved writing this, but I am so nervous about it. What do you think?

requests ; masterlist

fanart credit picture down below: @lunopal

Ragged voices licked his ears. Three different ones overlapped in a cacophony of hissed whispers and dooming laughs. From where he stood in the middle of his cell, Sirius could see a silhouette standing in the open door. Open, because there was no way he could escape. Three Dementors floated in a circle around him, so fast he could barely tell them apart. Black smoke, a burning smell and shadows whirled under low hoods, bringing him to his knees.

The man in the door curled his lips in a terrible grin. The Dementors were his and with each mind they broke, with each soul they ate, the wizard gained a sense of pride and morbid joy.

Sirius knew it. He knew the man, back in his school years - how far they seemed now! But Sirius also knew he was delusional. The Dementors bow to no one. They have no law, no caretaker, no master. Only their purpose.

Continuing to swirl around his frail body, sinked in to a third of what it used to be, bony edges poking out through dirty thin layers of clothing, the Dementors closed in on Sirius. Flashes of memories flew before the Animagus' eyes. James' empty ones, still open in a silent plea for his sacrifice to be enough to save his family, his brown hair dipped in his own blood, body angled in an unnatural position with his hand stretched forward above his head as if reaching for his best friend. Lily's tears, yet to dry and evaporates, stained her too pale face, the red of her hair sprayed around too lively; no blood pools formed around her lifeless body, laid on its belly as it fell onward, as if leaping away from her son, so the baby won't have to see it. And finally Harry, his godson, crying in his crib, a brown-red crust shaped like a lightning forming on his forehead; his green, small eyes, swollen, puffy and trimmed with red followed his godfather as the man turned his back on him and ran outside.

Sirius cursed loudly, beginning to shackle the chains trapping him in place in case he tried to escape the daily visit of the Prison Warrant and his guards. But the now twenty five years old has stopped trying to run a long time ago. What good would it be? There was nothing - no one - waiting from him out in the world. No, Sirius trashing around the cold, dirty dais, snapping the metal biting in his wrists, bruising his effervescent skin and almost cracking his bones as well was his attempt to run from his own mind. If he could just wipe the haunting memories away with a shook of his head, a twist of his back or punching and kicking the thick walls.

Fragments of thoughts he wasn't sure belonged to him invaded his mind. "Your fault. Traitor. Another Black." And, worst of all, one pained howl, a desperate scream in the night. Sirius wasn't sure if he heard it, or the dark creatures around toyed with him, but Remus' wild, feral yell of pure hurt reverberated inside the bars of his mind. The young wizard shut his eyes closed tightly, hoping to brush away the sound, the voices. Failing to do so, he released a scream of his own, only a hint of Padfoot, the big, black dog, his alter ego, printed in it.

The thirty four years old man yanked up. The bed sheets were soaked in his sweat, the blanket throwed on the floor. Sirius passed a shacking hand over his face, feeling the hot air leaving his mouth in short breaths, than big inhales with no exhale, the burning of tears on his warm red cheeks and the running nose. His lips felt sewed together all of a sudden, as chill after chill entered his body, cooling off his face too quickly.

It was just a nightmare, he knew. He escaped Azkaban, has been a free man from over a week already. But Sirius Black couldn't let the twelve years in prison go. The things he saw there, what the Dementors showed him day after day, carved their way in his brain, refusing to leave. Yes, he may have been wrong: his family and living friend welcomed him back. Harry was warming up to hid godfather, Nymphadora Tonks was eager to know her uncle, Andromeda even reached out, sending letter after letter and Remus - well, Remus hugged him tight and apologized for believing that filthy rat's lies. The werewolf spent his days, from first ray of sunshine until the last drop of sunlight. But the nights he went home. The nights when ghosts came to play, wounds teared open and pain leaked like blood from Sirius' heart, Remus was gone.

He tried to remember a time they didn't share a bed - before Azkaban, of course. Not in a sexual way, though it came to that in the late years of Hogwarts too. But simply for the comfort they each found in the other. It started in the second year, Sirius recalled.

Four twelve years old boys in a room seemed like a receipt for disaster. In a way, it was. After finding out their friend's secret, James, Sirius and Peter decided to sneak in the herbology cabinet, get Mandrake leaves and become Animagus. Seeing as they got away with it, the four created their enchanted map and become the Marauders, messers Prongs, Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail, waltzing their merry way through Hogwarts.

Not everything was merry and joyful, though. And despite their reputation, the wizards could be grave and serious when need be. Like one night, when Sirius woke them all up with his cries. The grey eyed boy stood on top of his bed covers, knees drawn to his chest, hands tangled in his shoulder length hair. He leaned back and forth, trembling. Front teeth bit in his lower lip to prevent him from making more noises as silent tears rolled down his face.

The other three boys thought Sirius saw a mean spirit, the haunted glassy look in his eyes only proving their theory further. But no danger threatened in the shadows of their room. No monster lurked in the darkness.

James was the first to get up and surf his way to the pure blood. Remus followed closely behind while Peter watched everything from the safety of his bed. Sirius' episode truly spooked him.

"Padfoot, mate, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. 'm sorry. Go back to sleep."

James and Remus changed worried looks at the sourness of Sirius' voice. Their friend would usually be the epitome of confidence, yet now he seemed to desperately try to shrink and disappear. But it was late and they were tired, so the boys decided with a swift nod that they'd pick up the subject in the morning and climbed back under their covers.

Remus jolted awake. Two out of his three best friends were sound asleep. Sirius still stared at the wall in front of him, breathing jerky. Due to his fine, superior hearing, the werewolf discerned the Black boy's muffled whimpers, sounds that kept him from sleeping.

"Sirius, why are you so afraid?" Remus whispered.

" 'm not afraid, Moony. Sleep."

"Can't. Werewolf remember? I hear you trying to not cry. You can cry, you know."

"I know." Sirius said in a tone that clearly showed he doesn't. With a sigh, Remus threw away his blanket, slipped his feet in his shoes and trailed his legs over the dorm's brick daises until he reached his friend's bed. The brown haired boy signed Sirius to scoop over, which he did, to both wizards surprise.

Later, when talking about that night, Padfoot admitted he was too tired, too shocked and too lost in his mind to think and only acted on auto pilot.

Remus brought the blankets to cover them both, still seated as they were. "Do you need a hug?" Sirius hesitated before answering, but eventually he nodded twice, a quick movement as if the boy was ashamed to admit it and wanted to pass unnoticed.

But Remus smiled softly and wrapped his hands around him. Sirius clinged onto his friend. The warmth of the gesture, the cozy closeness of a settled, stable body, a person that cared deeply about him and only him as a being, set the restrained tears free. Remus held Sirius until his body stilled and he could feel no more tears soaking his pajamas.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Sirius swallowed, but the words demanded to be spoken. "Yes."

"Alright. I'm gonna ask you questions and you can answer with yes or no. It's your choice if you want to elaborate. Sounds good?"

"Yes." Sirius said and for a moment his usual, ironic self showed up.

"Was it a nightmare?"

"Yes."

"About your family?"

With a shudder, the grey eyed boy forced out another "yes."

"Your brother?"

"No."

"Your parents, then. Did they - did they do something to you?"

"Yes." Remus' arms tighten around him and he clunged harder to his friend as well. In the safety of the Gryffindor dorm, shared with his most trusted peers, comforted by the scarred boy he became an Animagus for, Sirius stumbled over his thoughts. The dream weighted heavy on his mind, but he didn't know how to let free of those horrible images that haunted him. Not images, memories. Sirius feared that if he said anything they'll become real. Not that they weren't, but they happened in the past. Talking about them, invoking them, would feel like living through them again.

And yet, part of him wanted to talk. He needed someone to know. Sirius couldn't be sure why. Maybe to hear that it was nothing, that it was ok and he shouldn't be such a weak ship. Or maybe to hear it was normal and he wasn't alone. That is how parents love and his didn't hate him after all. Or just to show someone how broken he were, hoping to be picked un and patched.

So, speaking slowly, but evenly, Sirius retailed his nightmare to Remus. In his sleep, the twelve years old boy was hanging some muggle posters in his room: bands, promo for concerts, normal things a boy his age would own. He smiled broadly, music turned on quite loud, muggle music, when his parents bursts in. Walburga and Orion both yell, but Sirius can’t understand what they’re saying. It’s pretty clear they are very upset with him, though. And the reason couldn’t be more obvious. 

“Sirius Orion Black!” his mother shrieked. “Ungrateful, worthless child! You are a stain on the family’s name.”

“You should be ashamed of you. As much as I am for being your father. Well, say something. Look how upset you made your mother!”

“Sorry,” he’d try to say, but his voice would break, too small to be heard by the angry adults. Which only worsened their state. Sirius watched frozen in terror as Walburga took her wand. Only his head seemed to be able to move, and he was shacking it vigorously, wiping his cheeks with it. The young wizard tasted tears on his tongue as he repeated the same words over and over again “no, please, ‘m sorry!” It did nothing to help. 

Remus stayed in his bed that night.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

The moon shone mockingly on the window. Last night has been a full moon and Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail failed to properly contain Moony. It happened quite a lot in their first days as Animagus. As normal, they got better over the years, the four boys falling in rhythm like an oiled machine. By the time they reached excellency, though, mistakes happened. James, Peter and Sirius thought less of it, but Remus took it badly. 

As he laid in the dark, blanket drawn to cover his head as he hugged his knees on the side, the young werewolf tried to remember what happened last night. What if he killed someone? What if he will next time the boys won’t be able to restrain him? Is it worth living like this, a danger to himself and the ones around? What if he hurts his friends? 

“I can hear your mind working from over here y’know?”

Remus straighten up in shock. “Padfoot?”

“Well, it’s not the Fat Lady. What’s on your mind?”

Remus shrugged, but Sirius wouldn’t stop pestering him until he poured his deepest fears and doubts. 

“You won’t”

“How do you know this?”

“You won’t, Moony,” Sirius said more firmly this time.

“Alright.” Remus clearly didn’t believe him and his worries still troubled him as he turned to lay back down. He heard footsteps, then felt the mattress shifting as another body climbed over his bed covers. “I know because I am Sirius Black and you are my friend.” Less than an hour later, both boys were sound asleep.

Sirius slept in his bed that night.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

It became a tradition. At first, they'd wait until one of them woke frozen in pain and panic, then they'd stay together and talk silently until they could sleep again. Later, Sirius and Remus would wait until James and Peter were out to decide who's bed to sleep in, knowing one of them - or both - ought to need the comfort.

The man kept trembling. His sobs caught in hiccups, leaving him out of breath. He did it. He left Harry for revenge. He practically made the choice for James and Lily, selecting Peter as secret keeper. His brother died and instead of mourning him, Sirius rejoiced bitterly in his cell - until he found out how he betrayed the Dark Lord.

He was just another Black. An evil presence in the world, despite his efforts. Gryffindor or Slytherin, it mattered not when his genes crafted him. Sirius tried so hard to be good, brave, loyal and the only thing he managed was to disappoint everyone. He was a nuisance and a burden and the a stain on the world. It'd be better if his sorry, useless existence would be wiped off the surface of the Earth.

Such thoughts clouded Sirius' mind when a light knock pulled him out of his head. "May I come in, Padfoot?"

The man almost broke at the nickname. Only one single person now would know to call him that. The weight of the realization hit him and another wave of tears carried the air from his lungs.

Receiving no answer, Remus kicked the door open, worry written all over him. The werewolf was panting and sweating from running, eyes wide close to terror. "Padfoot!" Seeing his oldest friend's state, he rushed to his side and hesitated only a moment before drawing him in for a hug.

"Nightmare?"

"Yes."

"Azkaban?"

"Yes."

"Dementors?"

"Yes. They-" Sirius gulped, shame tightening up in his throat. He was a thirty four man, for Godric's sake! And yet he cries like a baby. But the path he and Remus trailed off to, simple questions, any type of answer, so familiar and soothing he couldn't stop. "They tortured me. Showing me their - James and Lily's - death over and over. I left Harry, Moony. I stepped inside the house, saw that beautiful, brave child, suffering and I took off after bloody Pettigrew!" Before Remus could say a thing, Sirius continued, teeth so barred that words barely spitted out. "I heard you screaming too. I don't think that was real, but it sounded so broken, Moony. Twelve years, over twenty four full moons alone. 'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

Remus inhaled sharply, pulling Sirius even closer to him. He rubbed circles on his back, leaning to whisper in his ear "It was not, Padfoot. I should have trusted you more, star. If anything, it's my fault for spending so much time alone. So much, in fact, that it seems I neglected you, our agreement."

“It was my fault.” Sirius insisted.

“No,” and not letting him time to argue, Remus added “I know so, Sirius, because I am Remus Lupin and you are my... friend.”

Sirius pulled away only to find a reluctant smile playing on Remus' face. His body reacted before his mind could process its moving. He moved on the right side of the bed, still avoiding the other wizard's eyes. "Why are you here, Remus?"

"I couldn't sleep either. Thought to check on you as well. And good thing I did. You looked..." The professor didn't know how to finish that sentenced. Hollow. Empty. Dead. Scaringly close to death, in fact.

"Merlin! Thank you, Moony. You don't look bad yourself."

Remus chuckled. "Are you feeling any better?"

"No. You?"

"No."

Both men laughed. A bitter sweet sound passing through silence, taking with it any sign of discomfort that existed.

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too."

[ijustwant2write]

Subtle-Remus Lupin x Professor!Reader

(GIF credit to @shurley​)

Requested by anonymous: ‘hello! can i request professor remus lupin x professor reader where they are married but try to keep it in secret just to avoid gossip but eventually students get suspicious because of their closeness? thank you, love your work💕’

Characters: Remus Lupin X Professor!Reader, Severus Snape x Reader (platonic), Minerva Mcgonagall x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name 

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Fluff, gossiping, hiding relationship/feelings

                                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Please make sure your homework is completed and handed in to me at the beginning of tomorrows lesson. You’ve had a week to complete it, so I expect full pile on my desk.” I shouted over the hustle of the students packing away their things.

I hated having the last lesson of the day. No one was focused, they were tired from their other classes, and all they could think about was getting to the Great Hall for dinner; although I was exactly the same, I couldn’t wait for a good meal. Now alone, I started to tidy up my classroom, yawning when I realised how tired I was as well. Luckily, it was the end of the week, and this weekend I was chaperoning the students to Hogsmeade, meaning I could have some retail therapy. I heard the door open, thinking it was a student who had forgotten something, but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my husband waltz in.

“Oh, hello you.” I smiled as I approached him.

“Hello you.” he leaned down to kiss me before glancing around the room.“Need any help before dinner?”

“No, not tonight. I’ve just got to put a few things away in my desk.”

I went back to tidying, making sure I wasn’t coming back to a mess after the weekend, and that everything was in its right place.

He perched on a student desk.“Are you still going to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

“Of course. I can’t wait.”

“Did you want to...did you want to go for a drink?”

“I don’t think we should be drinking whilst looking after the students Remus.”

“We won’t have anything alcoholic. Perhaps even a meal?”

“What if someone sees us?”

“How many students have we seen go into a restaurant on any trip, hm? And if they do, it’s a meal between friends!”

“You know, I don’t think that whole story about us being old friends worked.”

He suddenly looked panicked.“Why? Have the children been saying anything?”

“No. I can just see it in their faces.”

“You’re overthinking this. It’ll be fine. Let me treat you.” a charming smile spread across his face.

I rolled my eyes, giving in.“Alright. But I’ve got to pop round some of the shops first.”

He groaned.“So we’ll have time for a starter then?”

I scoffed a laugh at him, grabbing a nearby scroll to hit him with.“I might be going shopping for you, did you ever think of that? I am a very loving wife after all.”

He chuckled, shielding himself.“Alright, alright!”

“Plus, and as much as it pains me to say this, we’ll be apart for a while. That means students won’t see us together.”

“Unfortunately, you’re right. We haven’t been too careful as of late.”

“Saying that, should we head to dinner?”

I walked out of the classroom first, checking the corridors, and like always at this time, they were empty. We freely walked towards the Great Hall, daringly holding hands whilst we were still far away. But as it neared, we sadly looked at each other, having to let go. It broke my heart that we had to hide our marriage, we couldn’t even wear our wedding rings for fear of being questioned, and accidentally revealing a detail that was too specific towards each other. 

“You two might want to be more careful if you don’t want your secret out.” the monotone voice of Severus said behind us. How was he always so quiet?

Remus sighed.“Well, do you see any students?”

“I was able to sneak up on you,” we were at the entrance of the Great Hall now,“and with all this chatter amongst the students, I would take extra precaution. The gossip is starting to disrupt my lessons.”

He walked away from us, and we glanced at each other. Severus was horribly truthful about these kind of things. I was right. The students had their suspicions. 

“Remus, what are we going to do?”

We began walking towards the head table.“Relax, we’ll draw more attention to ourselves otherwise. Look, just forget about what he said. I’m sure it’s a group of first years thinking they’ve discovered something and have irritated him.”

Although he was attempting to comfort me, the dreadful feeling of all the students eyes on me was making me feel sick. It wasn’t that I was ashamed to be with Remus, I loved him with my whole heart, I couldn’t wait to be with him forever. When we both got a job at Hogwarts, we had had a long discussion beforehand. Obviously we were excited to have new jobs, until I thought back to a friend who also worked with her partner. They were open with it, and unfortunately, the students would gossip, make up rude stories and interfere, ask too many questions to get into their personal life. It was awful for them. It sounds like a bunch of children ‘bullying’ professors wouldn’t effect them, you should be able to handle children as a professor; but it really took a tole on them.

"Chin up dear," Minerva said as everyone started eating,"I'm sure this will all pass by."

"You might be right. But I can't help thinking...maybe everyone knows." I stated down at my plate.

"Would that really be so bad?"

"I just don't want them talking about us. I've seen it happen to my friends, and I know a lot of married couples aren't work together because of it."

"Perhaps you two will be different."

I sighed."How many times has someone said that?"

"But, don't they see you leaving the castle together?"

"We said that we live near each other so we share lifts to work. It was the only thing we could come up with."

There was empathy on her face."It will all be fine (Y/N), just you wait and see."

The next day had arrived, meaning it was time to chaperone the students to Hogsmeade. When we returned home last night, I had dropped the subject, knowing Remus was much calmer about all of this than I was. I would only cause a fuss, which would perhaps lead to a small argument between us; and I didn't want the tension there tomorrow, if anything came out of this trip, I wanted to enjoy my time with Remus.

"Are you sure I cannot accompany you on the way there?" Remus had asked as the children's permission slips were approved.

I nodded."I just think it's best to split up for a few hours, then we'll meet up at that restaurant, yeah?" 

"Alright, see you later." 

In any other circumstance, we would have shared a small kiss before leaving one another, but everyone was here. A small smile graced our lips as he walked away, though mine disappeared as soon as he turned around. Sighing to myself, I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to keep warm as my group was assigned to me. 

The students practically ran off as soon as we got there, leaving me alone to wander. Remus was no where to be seen, but we had a set time to meet up. For now, it was aimless wandering.

I couldn't stop checking my watch throughout the day. I was too excited to see my husband, have a dinner out together. Teaching was hard, it took up so much time. Although in the evenings Remus and I were together, we weren't actually together. We weren't present because we would probably be marking papers. And having to constantly remember to hide our love at work was tiring and infuriating. Passing some students in shops, I politely smiled, maybe asked if they were having a good day or making sure they stayed in line, before it was finally time to meet my husband. 

There was much more of a spring in my step as I made my way to the designated restaurant. Luckily the number of students got smaller as I strayed away from the main hustle and bustle of Hogsmeade, though they should be minding their own business anyway (that would have avoided this whole mess in the first place). I almost missed the place because it was so small. It was made out of old, dark brick, with a narrow but long window, made of old wooden panes. The door was also small, and I smiled at the thought of Remus ducking through it. 

It felt more like a cafe than a restaurant. Like the window, it was long and narrow, tables either side of the room, because if there were tables lining down the middle, no one would be able to move. Remus caught my attention by standing up from our table. 

"You look beautiful." he greeted, kissing me. 

I scoffed as I sat."You knew what I was wearing, we do live together."

"Doesn't mean you're not beautiful." 

I bashfully smiled."You're still able to make me blush after all these years."

"Good, I must be doing something right then."

The lunch together reminded me of old times. It was easy to forget about the stress that had been piled on top of our usual schedule in that moment. We laughed, started reminiscing on our lives when we met each other, it was as if we were catching up after not seeing each other for a long time. When we weren't eating, one of our hands was holding onto each other. I knew I had to cherish every moment, especially since it went by far too quickly. 

We found ourselves putting on our coats and scarves, taking a few seconds to just gaze at each other. Neither of us wanted to leave. We felt safe here, hidden away from any prying students. Our marriage shouldn't have been hidden, we loved each other, it was supposed to be shown. 

"Ready?" he asked. 

"Ready."

We quickly kissed each other before making our way to the door. Thanking a waitress as we passed by, I was about to open the door when something in the window caught my eye. My heart dropped as I spotted three children poking their heads up, watching us until they realised they had been caught. 

"Remus!" I snapped."We've been spotted."

He had his usual calm tone."We're just two friendly colleagues getting lunch, there's nothing wrong in that." 

"We don't know how long they've been there. What if they saw us kissing?!" 

"Very friendly colleagues?" 

I huffed as I opened the door, trying to see if the kids were still there. They had started running off in the distance, headed in the direction of our meeting point. We had to head back now, it was the end of the trip, and I was expecting a lot of hushed whispers as we arrived. 

"Professor (Y/L/N)?" a fourth year student approached me as we rounded up our groups for counting. 

Here we go. 

"Yes?" 

She seemed nervous, glancing back at her friends."Um...just so you know, we all think you and Professor Lupin make a really cute couple. Like, you two are probably the coolest professors we have."

I was shocked by her words."O-Oh. Thank you...that's a very nice thing to say." 

She just smiled before leaving to join her friends again. There had been no point lying to her, it was obvious to everyone. But that small opinion meant a lot to me. Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing to put our marriage on display.

" You see?" Remus approached me."It's not as bad as you thought."

"No, I guess not. I just...I didn't want anything to effect us."

"You're my wife. I love you with all my being. A few gossiping children wouldn't change any of that."

He leaned in to kiss me again, but I giggled as I stopped him.

"What?"

"We may let them know about our marriage, but PDA from staff is still frowned upon." 

"Do you know how hard it is to resist you?" 

"Guess we'll have to make up for it when we're home."

[marauders-era-headcanons]

marauders era headcanons: wolfstar and popscotch

At some point after a particularly rough full moon, Remus would tell Poppy Pomfrey he has a crush on Sirius, making her the first person Remus comes out to.

He's a teary-eyed mess, all bandaged up; that time, for whatever reason, Sirius hadn't been there during the full moon, and the werewolf became much more aggressive without padfoot's smell.

Pomfrey wipes away his tears and shows him all the support she can.

While he's resting, she even brings him a green carnation pin, which she does advice him to hide under his robes because it's the 70's.

She knows Remus loves literature, and what a better gift to a literature nerd than the symbol of male homosexuality as represented by Oscar Wilde?

Remus almost starts crying. He loves it.

Then, she tells him that she knows a story of two young girls. A Gryffindor in the Quidditch team, with dark hair, rectangular glasses, and a thick Scottish accent- and a Ravenclaw healer trainee.

She tells him how the Ravenclaw watched in horror, at the edge of her seat, as the Gryffindor was knocked off her broom by some Slytherin, and given a life-changing injury.

She tells him how the Ravenclaw spends a whole fortnight working on healing the beautiful girl one year above her. A concussion, several broken ribs, and a lifelong desire to see Slytherin crushed on the Quidditch pitch. She did heal her, as much as possible, with the help of the actual healer at the time, but the girl could still never play Quidditch again.

She tells him how, one night, the first night the Ravenclaw walked to her dorm after the accident, a tabby cat followed her, rubbing on her legs. And it visited her every night since then. And every night to this day.

Remus was dumbfounded when he processed it, but he felt much less alone for the first time. He swore not to tell anyone about it.

Sirius would later tell McGonagall during a 'date that totally isn't detention' that he has a crush on Remus and he doesn't know how to deal with it.

Remus tells Pomfrey WAY earlier than Sirius tells McGonagall, but by that year, maybe year 6, detention had basically become a therapy session for Sirius. McGonagall would listen when it'd happen because she knew he needed it.

And when he came out to her, she calmly said, “I know. It's alight.” and when she saw the panic in his face, wondering if it was really that obvious, she added: “nobody else would notice, of course. don't worry yourself.”

Sirius was puzzled by that. Very puzzled.

Minerva McGonagall is a private and professional woman. So is Pomfrey, but the two of them do handle situations like these rather differently.

“Do any of your friends know? Potter? Or anyone in your family?”

After Sirius answered no, she took a deep breath and said she was honored that he trusted her.

He told her that, he wanted it to go away. That it'd be much simpler that way.

McGonagall sighed and looked into his eyes. “Hiding it and pretending to be someone you aren't will not make it go away.” She, spoke from experience. Sirius could tell, at that moment.

He nodded, and it was genuine. That must have been the first time he genuinely nodded to her, with no witty comeback or stupid joke.

At some point, Minerva and Poppy started talking to each other about it too. Nobody else of course, just each other, as they discussed their days.

When, eventually, wolfstar gets together, they're just so proud of their boys for making it.

And when they tell them they might have never come to terms with it without their support, both of them are so moved.

Eventually, Minerva does convince Dumbledore to have a 'pride week' or something like that at Hogwarts to make all queer students feel welcome.

Admittedly, he doesn't need too much convincing.

[moonslove7]

Moonys Soft

(Remus Lupin x reader)

Summary: (Y/n) accidentally encounters Moony while having a midnight stroll, what happened next was of course unexpected and highly unusual...

You sighed as you stopped studying, letting the book fall on the table completely out of your hands, you had been studying for three hours straight for a test and finally decided you had done all you could until the next morning so you looked to the window behind you which had a perfect view of the moon that hung ever so beautifully in the sky. Sighing again your thoughts moved to Remus, your boyfriend, you wondered what he was up to with his friends, and if of course when the morning came he would be sporting a new scar or injury. The moon used to be beautiful for you but now it just brought distaste and annoyance to you, for this was the worst night of the month for your boyfriend and probably many others, who are forced to go through it. 

‘Maybe I could do with some fresh air... Rem did say they usually are in the Shrieking Shack, so what could a little walk do?’ Nodding to yourself in agreement you picked up your textbook and notes, putting them all inside your bag and then took them to your dorm room, grabbing a hoodie that probably belonged to Remus you quickly pulled it through your arms and head, then realised how it had his usual scent of books, parchment paper, chocolate and a woodsy kind of smell, you inhaled it silently smiling at the comforting smell. The hoodie was slightly bigger because of Remus’ height but it was insanely comfy.

Putting your wand in the hoodie pocket you quietly closed the door and descended down the stairs and on your way to the woods. You weren’t going to go far, you just wanted to have walk in the refreshing fresh air near your boyfriend. Walking slowly, your hands stuffed in the hoodies pocket with your fingers wrapped around your wand just in case, as you walked you got a little distracted by the oncoming coldness that came your way, before you knew it you had made it to the lake, looking at it you slowly started to realise it was completely iced over, your breath now visible when you exhaled, the coldness consuming anything warm it could, furrowing your eyebrows you looked around, something didn’t feel right. Out of the corner of your eye you saw a trail of black like an octopus’s tentacle sway behind a tree, you turned instantly to face it but nothing was now there. 

‘I’m being watched, aren’t I?’ You said to yourself, breathing quicker out of fear, you tried to think what could possibly be watching you, remembering the fact it wasn’t this cold when you first started to walk into the forest only one creature came to mind, one which shouldn’t even be there in the first place, you kept denying that it couldn’t be but what other creature turns its surroundings ice cold in seconds. 

Hearing a swishing sound from behind you, you turned quickly around so your back now faced the lake and instead coming out from the trees was a dementor somehow, you slowly backed up as it approached you, you fell backwards onto the ice cold frozen lake which began to crackle at your fall. You thought this was it, you’d never be able to feel properly ever again, you had no idea how to fight them because you had only just learned they existed in class, not how to defend yourself from them. It started to pick up its speed and was now flying fast towards you, you screamed hoping someone was near by, if anyone would help. 

Closing your eyes tightly and flinching, you heard a growl coming from behind the Dementor, you couldn’t see what was happening but little did you know your boyfriend’s werewolf form had ran into the forest a few minutes after you ventured off into it yourself, and right now all he could tell was that his lover was in danger, snarling at the Dementor Remus ran on all fours towards the Dementor making it swoop off further into the air and fly away instead of at you, making Remus stop running and watch it fly away with you. You were so distracted by the Dementor and making sure it left neither you or the lycanthrope noticed the lake was still crackling, becoming unsteady from the warmth of your body and fall, Remus was just at the edge of the lake, and when you looked at him and locked eyes the ice had broken and you had fallen into the freezing water, shivering from the painfully cold water you tried desperately to swim up to breathe, as you swam your limbs felt heavier and heavier, Remus or rather Moony began running again but onto the ice, he ran to where you were, panting profusely he leaned his snout down to grab onto your jumper to try and help you to get out, he even tried using his two front paws but they did little to help, you managed to drag yourself out with the help of your boyfriend who waited beside you for you to catch your breath, whimpering at how you shivered.

Eventually you stood up, still shaking from the cold but you watched Remus, amazed that he didn’t try to kill you at all, instead he protected you. “Moony...” You whispered, smiling slightly you reached out a hand, to him which made him stop whimpering and instead lean his head towards your hand, you slowly stroked his head in amazement, he wasn’t too furry, but he was definitely fluffy. After a moment he looked up and stood up properly, remembering you were still freezing cold Moony started to whimper again, you walked closer to him whispering words of comfort “It’s okay Moony baby, I’m okay and you’re okay.” You reached out again with both of your arms but to hug him, your arms wrapped around his neck, not too tightly though, and the lycanthrope nuzzled his snout into your neck, licking you slightly you giggled at the feeling and at the outcome of the night.

A few moments later Sirius and James came running out next from the dark trees in their animal forms, their worry turning into wonder at what was happening before them. They had always heard that when someone changed into a werewolf they would hunt and kill any human they could, but he wasn’t; not with you. When you caught eyes with Sirius he tried to point his nose back to the area of the whoomphing willow tree, telling you to try and send Moony back to where they knew he would be safe. You nodded and smiled at him, you began to let go of the lycanthrope, who then began to watch you as you moved slightly backwards and he followed instantly to be by your side. “Come on baby, back to the shrieking shack we go.” You whispered to him, as you both walked back to the tree Moony kept bumping his arm or side into you, you guessed it was his way of knowing you were still there without looking, soon enough you and Moony ended up near the tree, you never knew how to tame the tree to go inside so you waited to see if Sirius or James would show you but instead they just raced inside the tree, Moony looked between them and you, and then decided to take matters in his own hands, trying to be gentle he wrapped his paws under your legs and arms, you squeaked as you realised he was going to run inside with you, and he did. It somehow worked, and Moony didn’t let you down until he reached the top of the house, where a bed was and a sofa, the sofa being in the company of the deer and a black dog who looked to be playfully fighting, Moony walked to the bed where he gently let you down from his long arms, he stood back to give you some space, he was panting again from all the running, you sat up on the bed crossing your legs as you leaned your back against the headboard of the bed.

“Come here Moony.” You whispered again, not wanting to scare him, he leaned his head against the side of yours his snout nuzzling into your cheek, his nose was slightly wet making you giggle at the feeling, you reached out again with your right hand, petting his face softly, eventually he started to lay down on top of you, leaving his head to rest on your shoulder. He then began to snore quietly in your ear, and you brought a hand up to stroke his back as he fell deeper and deeper asleep.

When the moon had gone for the morning sunrise, Remus transformed back to his normal self but to his surprise he was in your lap. He looked at you in confusion, pulling his head back to see you had fallen asleep, his friends laid on the sofa also asleep, he thought to himself ‘at least I haven’t hurt them I don’t think’, wanting to know what exactly happened last night from you he slightly shook your shoulders making you begin to wake up, “Rem?” You asked tiredly, you smiled at him, bringing your hand that rested on his back to his messy hair, “(Y/n) ? what happened? Why are you here? Did I hu-” “No Remus, you didn’t hurt me, you did the exact opposite.. you saved me.” You interrupted the worrying Remus, letting him no straight away he had not harmed you in anyway, one of the things he was most worried about in the relationship was accidentally hurting you. “H-how come I didn’t? I’m glad I didn’t but... I’ve never been near a human before while in my uh, other form and not hurt them.” Remus then heard his best friends yawning, having turned back into their own human forms they looked at the pair sleepily, “Well well well lovebirds, looks like Moony is also pinning after you (Y/n),” Sirius said with a smirk, James was smiling almost giggling at Sirius and how Remus arched his eyebrow at him. “Of course you two idiots saw.” He groaned into his hands, “You two are awful at your job by the way,” he added making James then raise an eyebrow at him, “It’s not our fault Moony wouldn’t stop nuzzling his girlfriend.” James said, Remus shook his head at the pair who looked like they had been to a rave instead of helping him not go near any humans. 

“Rem, it’s okay yeah? Also don’t you remember what happened?” You asked worryingly. “It takes a minute or two but yeah, I do. I guess they’re right though, Moony must also love you too.” He kissed your nose, then started to climb off of your lap, wincing every few seconds from the aching and possible bruises and who knows what from him transforming, you tried to steady him by grabbing his upper arms as he left your lap, he laid on the other side of the bed beside you, “Hey guys.. let’s uh, ditch for a day?” James said as he laid back down with Sirius on the sofa, instantly feeling a growing need to fall back into dreamland. “Mhm, I got a test today, so only five more minutes for me, then I’ll help Rem go to the nurse.” You replied, Remus looked at your hand before holding it and watched you as you smiled and slowly closed your eyes to sleep again, he smiled at your sleeping figure, knowing you were probably safe around his other form, which was something he feared a lot about, he slowly started to succumb to the sleep that had captured both you and his best friends as the Sun rose higher in the sky.

This was so long wtf, anywho I hope you enjoyed, if you want to request for a Remus x reader fanfic please do, i love Remus so much I swear this is the longest one I’ve ever wrote. 

[siriusheadspace]

illicit affairs - sirius black x reader

Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You and Sirius start seeing each other in secret around Hogwarts since his best friend Remus has a crush on you, but is too shy to act on it. Inspired by "Illicit Affairs", by Taylor Swift.

A/N: God, all of a sudden I developed this hyper fixation with Sirius. I got a bunch of ideas for stories with him (and all of them inspired by songs lol) but this was the one that felt more structured. I haven't written in a while and English is not my first language so be kind lol

Words: 2k ish

-

Make sure nobody sees you leave Hood over your head Keep your eyes down

You could swear the entire Hogwarts castle heard your hitched breath while you tried to make your way to the Gryffindor tower as silently as possible. Sirius was the one to leave first this time, heading for his dormitory while you had to count to 300 - you forgot your watch this time. You were sure it was his time to wait, but you didn't contradict him after he zipped his pants, gave you one last rough kiss, and said "Later, then?".

Tell your friends you're out for a run You'll be flushed when you return

It took some time to develop this relationship to the point where you didn't have to talk and check each other's stories to avoid being caught. You knew your friends and roommates didn't believe you were risking getting caught and losing house points just for a night walk around the castle, but they gave up on you telling them who you were seeing.

Take the road less traveled by Tell yourself you can always stop

It started last year, in your sixth year in Hogwarts. You always had a crush on Sirius, but that's not uncommon - nearly every girl on your year couldn't help falling for his long, silky hair, his gray eyes, his long, yet toned body, and, of course, his devil may care attitude. But he never really paid attention to you, just some light flirting in a party at the Gryffindor common room one time; you were pretty sure he didn't know your name. But it changed last year. You can't quite point to when, exactly, you noticed the Marauders would go quiet once you walked by. But it got to the point where you would always notice. You'd pass by them on purpose, flattered by the attention Black was finally giving you. But you didn't notice that it was his friend, Remus, that gave you the most passionate looks.

What started in beautiful rooms Ends with meetings in parking lots

At a party right after a Quiddich match, you decided you would do something about it and give Sirius the chance to make a move. You took hours getting ready, borrowed a dress from a friend, the cleavage more revealing than anything else you ever wore, the fire whiskey burning your throat and your shyness. Once you came down the stairs, you could feel the glances at you, running up and down your body, another rush to add to the whiskey and to boost your confidence. Your friend group was close to the Marauders and you thanked the gods for it. You were all dancing together, and Remus excused himself after a few songs - you later figured he might be trying to get confident enough to make a move - once Sirius perfume got to you. Sandalwood, something citric and tobacco, all mixed to intoxicate you. You started dancing closer to him, and, in a spike of lust, grabbed his hand and went to an empty room. He looked confused but didn't complain when you pushed him against the wall and kissed him fervently. You felt his smirk, his excitement, once he pushed you back against a table and pulled your legs around him so he could lift you and sit you on it. He only stopped to catch his breath once you were panting and pulling his lower lip between your teeth. You felt like a goddess when his long fingers explored your body, lingering on your exposed curves. You unbuttoned his shirt while he unzipped your dress, and, without giving it a second thought, with a spark of pain between all the pleasure, you had your first time with the infamous Sirius Black.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares

When you were finished, the combination of soreness and embarrassment started to make your chest heavy - the first time of many. Sirius was a gentleman, though, helping you fix yourself enough so it wasn’t obvious that you were doing what you just did, not commenting on the blood, or when your nails pressed against the skin of his shoulders out of pain. You felt his stares during the next few weeks, trying to find a way of talking to him and meet him again, maybe on a date, something more romantic than snogging on dark, empty classrooms. One night, you were reading in the common room and noticed him alone, leaning against the wall, close to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Once he felt your eyes on him, he left the room, and you felt a rush, getting up, counting to ten, and following him to another empty classroom, where he quickly took your book off your hands and moved them to his neck.

It's born from just one single glance But it dies, and it dies, and it dies A million little times

You were anxious to repeat his steps, standing against the wall, waiting for him to look at you. But he sure followed you to yet another empty room. That time, you actually had a conversation after you were done, but it was far from the romantic invitation for a date at Madame Puddifoot. "You need to be less obvious", he said, buttoning up his shirt. "I just did what you've done last time", you said, pulling your skirt up, feeling the warmness between your legs, the humiliation of being scolded like a kid by the person responsible for it. "But if it's going to happen that often", he smirked, "we have to figure out a way to do it in a way that people don't have to pay the tiniest amount of attention to find out, baby", he completed, and started scheming. You agreed to his plan: whenever any of you wanted to see the other, you'd send a note with a smiley face, something that wouldn't be revealing and wouldn't mean anything to anyone but the two of you, and you'd meet at three in the morning at the come and go room. "It's safe. And it has an appropriate name, don't you think?", he laughed, and you shot him a weak smile. He walked to the door but before he opened it, you put your hand on his arm. "Sirius", you said, and he noticed that he liked the way his name sounded on your lips when you were composed as well, and scolded himself for the flutter in his chest caused by it, "Are you doing something this weekend? I thought we could go to Madame Pu..." "We shouldn't be seen in public, doll", he said, trying to give you one of his smirks, but you noticed how his eyes still looked sad. It didn't matter, though - the weight of rejection pulled you down and you had to use all of your energy not to break down crying while going back to your room. Sirius went first. Once you were about to go up the stairs that would lead to your room, you heard his laughter with his friends coming from the other staircase. Unbothered by your encounter.

Leave the perfume on the shelf That you picked out just for him So you leave no trace behind Like you don't even exist

You've dealt with by rationalizing it in many different ways. You thought that the next time you got a piece of parchment with a smiley face, you'd just ignore him, happy to imagine him alone and pathetic, waiting for you. But you never had the strength to do it. You'd always fix your hair and some makeup and went straight back to his arms.

Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

"Why does it have to be like this?", you asked, feeling brave, six months after your first encounter. "Y/N", he said - you felt a shiver up your spine like you always did when you heard your name in his voice - "I'm a bad friend. And I'm trying to avoid coming to terms with that", he completed with a sad smile on his face. Once he noticed your confusion, he explained how he started noticing you after Remus admitted to having a crush on you, but never had the guts to tell you. That Remus made him notice things about you he wasn't paying attention before - how your lips would pout when you were concentrating during Charms, how your soft curves were visible under the heavy wool of the sweaters you liked to wear - but it was you, in a burst of attitude, pushing him against a wall that made him give up on being a good friend for Remus on what concerned you.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And stolen stares They show their truth one single time But they lie, and they lie, and they lie A billion little times

You accepted your status as a shameful secret. Remus still gave you fond looks and eventually had the courage to get close to you, trying to help with your DADA homework, complimenting haircuts, holding doors open to you. And you thanked him with your heart full of guilt, Sirius' stare burning on your back. After one of your encounters, Sirius brushed his fingers against your cheek and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. You were still shocked at the demonstration of affection when he left the room first, and you started counting to 300 again. 151… Is he falling for you? 208… It can't be. It has to be just physical. Why would he fall for you and still keep you as a secret? 299… It clicked. He could fall for you a million times, it would never be as important as his friendship with Remus. And you loved him a bit more because of that. 300.

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

You tried seeing other guys. You went on dates, and you blushed at their compliments, but none of them had a fraction of the effect of Sirius had on you. You still hoped he noticed when one of them would hold your hand on the way to Hogsmeade. You could only hope it hurt him as much as it hurt you to see him flirt with other girls. To listen to his voice calling them "baby".

Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

One night, you were whispering his name with him already inside you, your shirt undone, your bra unclasped, your skirt pulled up, when the door opened. The pain in Remus’s eyes as he understood what was happening in front of him was something you knew you would never forget. Sirius left you there, dressing himself quickly while apologizing profusely to his friend. You turned around and tried to fix yourself, and they left without even looking back at you.

And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times

None of them ever spoke with you again. It was as if you were taboo. Even James and Peter wouldn't pay attention to you once you spoke in class or told a funny joke to your friend in the common room. You figured it was fair. They had to do what's best for their friendship. And if pretending you didn't exist was the price to pay for that, they'd all pay it. When you saw them all laughing together, joyful, you knew you'd do the same.

But, sometimes, you could swear you felt Sirius’ gaze against you. And you knew that was as close as he'd get to ever touching you again.

[angstymarauder]

Arch Enemies {M.M}

Marlene McKinnon x Female!reader ; marauders era

summary: where two long-time rivals realize how thin the line between love and hate really are after an unfortunate quidditch incident.

word count: 3.4k ish

contains: angst, fluff, a heated kiss?, side of wolfstar,

a/n: i didn’t re-read it bc I'm lazy. Also if people could drop some wlw angsty harry potter recs that would be phenomenal.

· · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · ·

Marlene McKinnon has been your rival since as far back in your Hogwarts years as you can remember. Always at each other’s heads. Always a competition between the two of you. Always striving to be better than the other.

The two of you made just about everything a competition. Chess Matches. Pranking. Grades. Eating. Walking. Detentions (you almost got kicked out of Hogwarts that year.)

Anything that could somehow be made competitive, you two competed. And while you tended to beat her with grades, she often beat you in things that took place outside of the classroom.

The Marauders, apparently, have been placing bets and keeping track of your wins against one another. Lily even claims that one time she walked into their room unexpectedly and caught them writing on a poster on their wall that had both your names in big letters on each side and a series of tallies below each with dates and event names on the bottom, but as soon as they saw her one of them casted a spell to make it disappear.

This year was no different. You knew it was stupid to believe that maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to try out for the quidditch team without Marlene fighting you for the same spot. You have no real desire to be on the quidditch team, quite honestly, but your older siblings play quidditch, your parents played quidditch, your aunts, your uncles, your cousins, your grandparents, your great-grandparents.

You have a quidditch family and you do not want to can not disappoint them.

The hope that Marlene may leave you alone for this one was shattered, as you expected it to be, when you walk into the team's locker room, a bag of quidditch gear in your hand. “Y/L” Marlene spoke as soon as her eyes met yours. Her eyes widened more than usual, a change most people don’t notice, but then again, you’re not most people. You know Marlene better than anyone else, you’ve memorized the meaning of every look in her eyes, every curve of her lips, every flick of her hands. You know her brain, how she works, what she is thinking, for the most part at least because right now you found yourself momentarily confused by the surprise lacing her voice. Why is she so surprised? Did she not expect you to be there? Your thoughts are cut short when the blonde standing at the other side of the room clears her throat in an attempt to reactive her favorite tone of voice when speaking to you, cockiness, “you going for the beater position too?”

“Yea,” you respond, walking over to one of the lockers.

“May the best player win,” you continued unpacking your bag, putting on the final touches to your uniform, but you didn’t need to look at her to know that she was smirking as she spoke, you could hear it clear enough in her voice.

She awaited a snarky response from you, you know that, but you didn’t want to waste your energy on a catfight right now. Your anxiety is already through the roof, there is enough pressure on you at the moment that you feel like your brain physically cannot handle any more conflict, so you ignore her.

Her eyes burn holes into your body as you continue to pull your knee pads on. Eventually, the door opens and you listen to her steps as she walks out of the locker room, closing the door with a slam and leaving you all alone.

It’s not long before you’re 100% ready for tryouts. You stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror for a moment before leaving. Taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm your nerves. Calm your mind. It helps a little bit, but maybe not enough.

· · · ∞ · · ·

“Y/L! Watch out!” is the last thing you hear before everything goes black.

The tryouts were going great, James was the captain this year and after stealing a glance at his little sheet, you could tell that you were going to beat Marlene out for this spot.

You should’ve been happier with that knowledge than you were, but somewhere deep down you almost wanted Marlene to beat you. This wasn't what you wanted and by the look in her eyes, you knew that this was what she wanted. A strange feeling arose in your chest each time she looked at you during tryouts, her eyes conveyed a message you hadn’t seen her wear yet and all you wanted to do was decode it. To understand why her eyes looked… sad? Almost. Like she knew you were going to beat her and she was upset about it. She’s never been upset before, always a team player. She took her losses as they came and just vowed to beat you next time. But for some reason… for some reason this was different.

· · · ∞ · · ·

Marlene’s Pov:

You looked so pretty. Flyaway hairs and a look of determination on your face as you swatted away Bludgers so effortlessly. She loved quidditch, but she wasn't as good as you. Jealous, not because you’ll win whatever competition the two of you are probably making out of this, but jealous because she knows she won’t get the position she’s been working her ass off for. Lost in thought she doesn't even notice the bludger coming towards her, luckily she hits it just in time, but then… Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Marlene watched as the bludger tumbled straight towards you, “Y/L! Watch out,” was all she could get in before it hit you right in the head.

· · · ∞ · · ·

The first thing you felt when you woke up was an intense pounding in your skill that caused an unconscious groan to leave your mouth. As you increasingly became aware your head began hurting more and more. You went to bring your hand up to rub your eyes in an attempt to wake yourself up when you felt another hand on yours. Opening your eyes only increased your headache, but the desire to know whose hand was holding yours overruled the pain. Their hand was soft, warm, it felt like … like home. That's the only word you could find in this pain-forsaken state to properly describe the feeling.

The blur of a person who held your hand made you think you were crazy. You found yourself blinking a few times in attempts to clear your vision, not initially trusting your eyes and barely trusting them now as you see Marlene McKinnon's hand, holding yours.

Marlene McKinnon.

Your arch-nemesis?

The one who practically hates you?

Yea… her.

What the fuck.

Why is she holding your hand… and why do you never want her to let go?

You can feel your lips curve up into an unconscious smile as you stare at the place where her hand connects with yours before roaming your eyes up to her figure to her sleeping face being held up by her other hand, elbow resting on her armchair next to your bed. She looks so peaceful, so beautiful, and you wonder why you’ve never noticed how gorgeous she was before. How her lips look so soft and her skin so smooth. The way the waning gibbous moonlight shines into the room from the large infirmary windows and lights her face up in a way you’ve never seen in before and in that moment you want nothing more than to stare at her face like that forever. You don’t even notice your other hand moving up to touch her face until you hear a voice whisper from a few beds over from yours. “Oh, you’re up.” Startled, you feel like you were just caught committing a crime and immediately pull your hand back to where it was before. Marlene shifts in her sleep from your quick movements and you’re watching this moment slip through your fingers, silently begging whatever runs the universe to let you stay in this moment just a little bit longer. Thankfully, they answer and Marlene stills, returning to her peaceful sleep. “Don’t worry, Lils says she sleeps like a log.”

You giggle at these words, turning to face Remus with a smile, “yea, she does. We can never get her up in the morning.” “It’s the same with Sirius. He never wants to wake up.” The two of you giggle quietly, afraid to wake up anyone in the castle this late at night, especially the girl sitting beside you. You talk about Remus first, asking if the full moon the night before was really that bad that Pomfrey made him stay overnight again and if he's okay. He assures you that he is fine and redirects the conversation to you, “What about you? Are you okay?”

“I don’t even know what happened to me,” you tell him, “or why my head hurts so much or why M-” you pause, now looking at the girl. You’re scared of speaking the words out loud, afraid it may reveal that her presence is only a dream or a figment of your imagination and that you will sound crazy if you speak about it.

“Or why Marlene is here, holding your hand.” Remus finishes your sentence.

“Or that.” you turn your gaze back to Remus, now wishing the moon was a little darker so your close friend can’t see the blush that is surely on your face.

“Well to answer your first questions,” started Remus, “You got hit with a bludger during tryouts, Marlene and Sirius rushed u in here while I was taking a nap - thanks for that by the way”

“Sorry” you giggled

“- and then Sirius went back to practice, as for McKinnon there, she refused to leave. I think she feels bad cause she's the one that hit you. Pomfrey said you probably have a concussion which means you can’t … well you can’t play quidditch this year.” You should be focusing on the quidditch part, it was something you were working so hard for, but you can’t stop your mind from trailing off to her. Is she only here because she feels bad? Or is there more to it? You hope it's more. You’re not sure when these feelings came to fruition, but they’re there now and you’re worried about getting your hopes up because it means risking yourself getting let down.

“I think she likes you,” you take a minute to process the werewolves' words, glancing between the blonde’s head and her hand.

“You think so?” you say with a hopeful smile.

“I think she’s liked you since first year and you’re just too oblivious to realize it,” you look up with him, your confused face causing a slight chuckle to leave his lips, “I’m observant, you know that but it's not that difficult to see how in love you two are, even though you act like you hate each other. I think she knows what she feels,” you both glanced at the girl, “and I think you just figured out what you feel.”

You smile at his words. “I think you’re right,” you admit, too tired to be stubborn and reject what your heart says is a fact.

“Just wait till January to tell everyone please, I have a bet going with the boys and- “ Suddenly the door to the infirmary opens, Remus goes quiet with confusion and Marlen begins to stir from the noise. She’s really waking up this time, you immediately close your eyes, unsure of what else to do or even say to her. You can feel her eyes on your face, her hand holding yours. “Good morning sleepyhead,” remarked Remus. You curse out his name in your head as you feel Marlene’s hand immediately rip out of yours. All you want to do is look at her face, read her mind. Was she embarrassed? Ashamed? Your mind went to the worst.

“How’s the girlfriend?” marked a new voice, Sirius. Of course. Who else would come to the infirmary this late other than Sirius to check up on Remus?

“She’s not my girlfriend.” remarked Marlene, her tone sending a brief stab of pain through your own heart, “I don’t even like her,” another stab.

“Yea, okay, and Moonys not my werewolf boyfriend.” You would’ve laughed, hearing the noises of Remus hitting Sirius in response to his words, but your mind was stuck on the words of the girl who was still standing close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off her body.

“I don’t like her,” she said, her words laced with annoyance and anger, “In fact, I hate her. We’re literally enemies.”

“Then why are you here then?” Remus rebutted, he probably meant to be helpful, but the words she spoke next only made your heart ache more.

“Because I’m not a monster! I hit her with the bludger and I felt bad. That’s it. Nothing else.” you were almost thankful when you started to hear her moving around, collecting her stuff, tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes and you didn’t want her to see. “I’m tired so I’m going, goodbye.” And with that you waited, listening to the sounds of her footsteps, getting quieter with each moment. You listened to the opening and closing of the infirmary door and only dared to open your eyes again once you could no longer hear the clicking of her shoes down the hallway.

“You okay?” Remus spoke first, witnessing the silent tears now streaming down your face. You wish you stayed asleep. You wish you never looked at her. Never let yourself feel something you knew she wouldn’t reciprocate. You curse yourself for believing Remus’ hopeful words.

“Fine,” you spoke quietly before turning to your side, the back facing the two boys who get to share the kind of romance you find yourself only able to dream about.

“M’Sorry,” you heard Remus whisper, before the weight of your head and your heart lulled you into a dreamless sleep.

· · · ∞ · · ·

You woke up to Madam Pomfrey's voice urging you awake. Her soft voice reminded you of your mother and made you want to curl up into her arms and cry, Marlene's words last night still resting their weight on your chest. “How are you this morning, love?” she asks, placing a plate of food on the bedside table, you're thankful that she doesn't mention the tear stains that probably made their home on your cheeks last night.

“M’fine,” you mumble, “better.”

“Good, good,” she smiles, handing you a glass of water that you didn’t realize how much you needed until the whole glass was gone in a minute and Madam Pomfrey had to fetch you a new one. “Took a big hit yesterday, that Miss McKinnon has a good arm.” You hum in agreeance, an attempt to not be rude to the elder in front of you, but hearing her name still hurts, the wound of her words still leaving scars on your heart that haven’t even begun to scab. “Speaking of the devil,” the nurse spoke, your head raising up to see Marlene's figure entering the curtain that surrounded your bed. Her hair looked so soft, messier than you usually see it, but you liked it. You couldn’t stop your eyes from travelling down her face, taking in her beauty while she was awake. Bags plagued her beautiful brown eyes, she didn't sleep much last night. Your gaze moved to her lips, the same lips that unknowingly cut scars along your heart mere hours ago. Memories from the night before that you had allowed yourself to forget for a moment returned as fast as they left, returning the heartache that accompanies them. Suddenly, you found the hem of your shirt more interesting, keeping your gaze and your hands on that. “I’ll leave you two alone,” spoke Madam Pomfrey, ignoring the tension-filled silence that laid in the air, “I’d like to keep you here for a little while longer but you should be discharged by dinner,” and with that she left the two of you alone, your breaking heart not even strong enough to look at her.

“Hey,” she spoke first, breaking the silence, but not moving from her spot where she stood at the end of your bed. “Sorry I hit you with a bludger,” she tried to joke, but the tension was too thick that it was just awkward.

“Why are you here?” you ask, a sudden surge of bravery coming from the anger that stems from your sadness.

“Wh-What?”

“Why are you here?” “Because I feel bad? Because I'm not a total bitch and I care about you?” she remarks.

“Why do you care?” your voice grows louder, angrier than you want it, but you’re too stubborn to stop speaking now. “I can’t play anymore, you got the spot on the team, didn’t you? “I mean you said it yourself we’re enemies, right? You hate me?” you continue, repeating her words from last night. “So isn’t this what you wanted? You won. You beat me. Congratulations.”

“So you were eavesdropping?” she asks, her tone attempting to stay angry, but her eyes revealing that look you’re slowly seeing more and more often.

“It’s not eavesdropping if I’m lying right there.”

“Merlin, y/n, I don’t hate you!”

“Liar.”

“You’re so stubborn,” she yells, getting closer to your face.

“If you don’t hate me then why would you say it?” You sat up, both your voices were raising, anger surging through the air.

“Because I don’t hate you! I love you,” she yelled, and then everything went quiet. She loves me? Only now did you realize how close your faces were. Her lips were inches from yours, your ragged breaths intermingled with one another, both of you already exhausted from your previous argument. You looked up from her lips to her eyes, just to find them already staring into yours.

“You what?” you whispered so low that only she could hear it.

“ I-” her eyes were filled with fear. Fear that her feelings won’t be reciprocated. Fear to express the vulnerable emotion that has plagued her heart for how long? You don’t know. So you move forward and capture her lips in yours.

After the initial surprise, Marlene began to kiss you back, her hands finding the back of your neck and your head while yours found her hips. You broke apart too soon for your liking and she rested her forehead on yours. One of your hands moved to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear before speaking. “I love you too.” You watched as her eyes lit up with joy and you couldn’t help but smile. “I get a point on the leaderboard for admitting it first,” she chuckled.

“Mmhm,” you hummed in agreeance leaning forward again so your lips brushed against hers as you spoke, “but I get one for kissing you first.”

“Dammit,” she whispered, before leaning in for another kiss.

· · · ∞ · · ·

“So Gryffindor Beater, huh?” you asked Marlene. The two of you laid together in the infirmary bed, her back pressed up against half of your chest, your arm hanging around her shoulder twirling and untwirling her hair with your one hand while both her hands played with the fingers of your other.

“Yea, James said it’s mine if I want it, but I don’t need to take it if you don’t want me to.”

“No, merlin no,” you said quickly, “I know how much you want that spot, I barely even wanted it. Was only doing it because with my family I felt like I had to.”

“Really?” She looked up at you hopefully, “you don't mind.”

“Nope.” “Promise?”

“Promise.” She gave her a peck on the lips before turning her head around again. “Plus, you’re going to look so hot in that uniform, I feel like I’ll be the real winner in this situation.” Your words earn a loud laugh from the girl in your arms and you feel like you're on cloud 9. You place a quick kiss on her temple and want nothing more than to be the one to make her laugh for the rest of your lives. Lives that you hopefully get to spend together.

Meanwhile…

“Told you so,” he whispered.

“I should’ve kept my mouth shut,” the second boy groaned, placing coins into the other boy's outstretched hand.

“Yea, but look how cute they are, Moony the Matchmaker.”

“Oh shut up Padfoot,” he groaned, “I’m hungry, let's go to dinner.” “Whatever you say handsome,” barked the boy before looping arms with his lover and walking away from the two girls in the infirmary who looked utterly and completely infatuated with one another.

[ghostlywritten]

If Only I Had Stayed In The Shadows - Chapter Ten

James Potter x OC

Words: 4,8k

Prologue  Chapter One   Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four  Chapter Five  Chapter Six  Chapter Seven  Chapter Eight  Chapter Nine

The break passed and life in Hogwarts continued in blissful peace for the next few months. At least for us students. Outside of the walls and grounds of Hogwarts, the situation was getting darker and darker each day. People went missing or were declared as dead, causing chills down our spines whenever the list grew longer with each newspaper.

I sighed, folding a piece of parchment that contained a letter from my parents about their well being. They were alright but had to take a lot of extra hours, giving how more and more muggleborn or halfblood wizards and witches were registered every day and night with the worst injuries at their hospital. Some - if not many - did not make it by the end of the next dawn. A hand snatched the letter from my hand and I glanced over at the messy-haired boy next to me as he unfolded it again. "Ever heard of privacy?" I asked and his eyes widenend in mock-astonishment, "No, what's that?"

His good mood evaporated slightly though after he skimmed the letter and an usually solemn expression graced his features instead. "Things are really getting worse everyday, aren't they?" he asked quietly, catching Sirius' attention from his other side.

"What's getting worse everyday?" he questioned, joining our conversation. Remus, Peter, Lily and Marlene looked up from their sheets as well. We were gathered together in the Common Room, sitting at one table to 'study'. Some would think it odd since we never usually mingled together, especially with Lily's open hatred towards James and everything the Marauders stood for. But ever since he and I got together, everyone consequently spent more time together as a group, surprisingly getting along...most of the time.

"A lot of people are dying or getting injured," James replied, handing me back my letter.

"Mom says, the hospital is being run down. They won't be able to carry so many patients for long," I added, feeling uneasy, "Apparently the healthcare system is close to collapsing."

"That's bad," Marlene commented, worry creasing her forehead, "What's going to happen if this goes on?" Everyone shrugged, glancing at each other helplessly as no one had an answer.

"The Ministry will figure it out eventually," Remus tried to reassure us all, straightening up in optimism.

"Right, they always do," Lily agreed, causing Sirius to scoff quietly. She gave him a challenging look, raising her eyebrow. "You've got anything to say, Black?"

"There is a lot I could say that would certainly not please you, Evans," Sirius quipped.

"Anyways," James cut in before a bicker session could begin between them, "We shouldn't turn our hair grey because of this. We are young! And still have more than a year left in the safest place in the country."

I nodded in agreement, leaning into him as he threw his arm around me. Lily silently flickered her deep green eyes between us.

"But what happens after we graduate?" Peter spoke up with an almost quivering voice as he still looked worried.

"Let our future selfs worry about that," Sirius dismissed.

"We should still have a plan though," Lily pointed out and I allowed a frown on my face after she finally ripped her intense gaze off. She had been doing that a lot lately, staring at our interactions longer than deemed normal. What was her issue? "You know, the teachers are planning to start sessions for career advice with each of us. Having no plan probably won't look good."

"Oh, I already know what I'm going to do," Sirius shot back immediately, smirking confidently, "Auror sounds pretty enticing, especially during this time, doesn't it?"

"Same," James said and I resisted the urge to raise my eyebrows at his confidence, "That or Quidditch," he added as an afterthought.

"I don't know," Marlene mused, "Auror does have a nice ring to it but I always thought I would do something with Potions...," Stunned silence and a collective jaw drop followed. The brown-haired beauty burst out in laughter at our disbelieved looks, shaking her head, "Just joking. You should see your faces."

I rolled my eyes at her. "You really got us there for a second, Marls," Remus chuckled.

The evening passed and even though I would have liked to say we did a lot of studying...we didn't. "Well, Remus and I gotta go," Lily sighed, getting up, "We're patrolling tonight."

"Uh, sounds fun," Marlene commented sarcastically and the red head shot her a look.

"Right, on it!" Remus got up as well, readying himself, "Boys, don't pull any pranks tonight. It will make me look bad."

"But Moony, now is the best time! With you on patrol, we won't get any punishment!" Sirius stated indignantly.

"That's exactly what I mean with making me look bad," Remus remarked with a sigh, "I'm a prefect, mate. Help me out by not doing anything."

The black-haired boy seemed to contemplate his options before giving in with a pout, "Fine, but you owe me."

"Good boy," Remus said, patting his head like a dog, "I'll see you guys later...ladies, have a good night."

"Night, Remus!"

"So, if no pranks are allowed...how about we get a midnight snack from the kitchen and head to the Astronomy Tower?" James suggested and I gave him an offended look even though my heart fluttered at his romantic suggestion. "I am second to your pranks? Really?"

"Of course you are!" Sirius snickered.

"Of course you are not!" James contradicted and it was his best mate's turn to give him an affronted look. "Really, Prongs? You're giving me up for a lass so easily?"

"...Pretty much, yes," James shrugged, causing me to snort.

Sirius pouted. "Can I at least tag along?"

"Me too?" Peter added himself.

"Sorry mates, this time is only for me and my love," James declined, pulling me closer as we got up and kissing my temple. I blushed slightly at his open affection. Ever since New Year's Eve we had become closer and practically glued to each other. I couldn't believe my luck at this point, wondering how I had managed to capture the attention of this charismatic and sweet boy when I was a rather boring girl with a boring life. Yet, here we were, officially together for about four months in and going strong.

After grabbing a few snacks from the kitchen, we headed up to the highest tower in the school. I sat down at the ledge, leaning against the barrier with my arms and resting my chin on them as I breathed in the fresh night air. James settled down next to me, quietly handing me a sandwich I bit into immediately whilst we enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere and presence of the other. The view was magnificent, moonlight reflecting from the slight waves of the black sea and I imagined the Giant Squid breaking the surface with its tentacles from time to time.

"What are you thinking about?" James eventually asked softly and I glanced over. His cheek rested on his crossed arms, eyes locked on my face. I blushed slightly at his gaze, looking back out at the landscape. A tinge of happiness rose in me as I thought how life was for me at the moment. Despite my parents throwing fits because of my career choices, I had a great boyfriend, who supported me in everything. And as cliché as it sounded, he made me feel safe during the dangerous times of war raging just outside of the Hogwarts grounds. Is that what love makes you feel-? My thoughts came to a screeching halt at the l-word before it started racing uncontrollably fast. Love? Did I love him?

"Cec?" James poked my arm, breaking me out of my reverie and I twitched slightly in surprise, "Are you spacing out on me?"

"N-no, I was just...," my eyes flickered around for an escape, "..daydreaming," I ended lamely, pressing my mouth against my underarm.

"Okay?" James raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing me, "Are you cold? You are twitching like a weirdo."

"Jeez, thanks," I said sarcastically, though immediately blushed when he scooted closer, throwing an arm around me. "It's alright, weirdo," he said with a grin, "I'll be your knight in shining amor once again and keep you warm."

"And once again, I gotta remind you of a little magic trick called Heating Charm," I replied with the same grin, warmth spreading through me at his cute gesture. James was full of cute gestures, it was a miracle no one knew that. Maybe, because he had never been able to show this side of him before. I bit my lip, shyly acknowledging the increase of my heartbeat at his proximity, the realisation of my feelings suddenly becoming clear.

I had fallen for that idiot.

Days had passed and I was mulling over how to tell James about my feelings. Should I tell him at all? Should I wait for him to say it first? Did he feel the same anyway?

There was only one person to ask for love advice. Someone, who had helped me before.

"Marlene, should I tell him?" I asked.

"Absolutely not," the beautiful Gryffindor answered immediately with her eyes wide.

"Why not?"

"The boy has to say it first. That's the rule."

I made a face. "Is that really? Or are you just making it up?"

Marlene sighed, grabbing my shoulders. "Dearest Cec. We girls easily fall in love. And we figure it out quite easily, too. A boy usually needs a while longer and if the girl were to approach him with her feelings, he would immediately feel swamped and make a beeline for the next exit. Until he is not sure of his own feelings, I wouldn't tell him."

I frowned slightly, "That's a bit biased, don't you think? I'm sure not all boys would try to run away."

"Oh believe me, they will," Marlene stated almost darkly. Something told me, she was talking from experience but I was not enough of a Gryffindor to dig deeper. She noticed my gaze though and immediately let go of my shoulders, leaning back in nonchalance. "I mean, you can risk it and tell him or you can wait. Personally, I believe waiting is the best. It doesn't hurt now, does it?"

I pondered over her words whilst wandering the halls in search of the one boy, who kept running through my mind. Sure, it wouldn't hurt to wait for him to say it first, but the question was how long would he need to realise it? Could I perhaps quicken it up by just telling him first, making him notice his own feelings faster? Or would it just pressure him to say it, too even if he doesn't mean it? That thought filled me with horror and I swiftly decided to keep my mouth shut.

Though, when I rounded the corner to the courtyard and saw him standing in all his bespectacled, nut brown messy haired glory I couldn't help but suddenly hear my heartbeat loud and clearly, drumming in my ears in a pace it would usually go after a sprint or a run up of blasted staircases. I couldn't help but stop short in my movements to savour the sight of his smile for a second, the same smile he would direct at his mates and me, all the people he loved (perhaps he did actually love me, too), his teeth shining in the sunlight that would occasionally peak through between the many clouds and I decided to tell him my feelings then and there, head slightly dizzy from the once again quick change of mind. But before I took a step forward, my eyes flickered away from him at the reflection of the sun on shiny red hair, rippled in perfect waves and slightly blinding. And then they flickered towards a pair of glistening, emerald green eyes that were smiling at the exact same boy I wanted to talk and spill my feelings to.

I swiftly stepped back in the shadows, wincing at my own behaviour. Why was I spying on them? They were doing nothing but talking, laughing at each other...something I had never seen Lily do with James before. Ever. Wishing I could hear what they were saying I looked back at James, feeling my chest warm at the sight of his smile but almost burn at the realisation who it was directed to. All the people he loved...

'No,' I shook my head, 'We've talked about this before we got together. He made it clear that he lost interest in her...after pining after her for years.' She clearly never reciprocated his feelings, so their not-lovestory was over when he moved on. But what if she did reciprocate his feelings? I thought back on all the times I caught her staring at us. Could it be that she had been feeling something for him all along and was just hiding it? Or didn't realise it until now?

Marlene's lessons on keeping a boy interested crossed my mind. Would trying hard to get work on girls, too? After all, James had been chasing her for years and suddenly stopped paying attention to her. He was even in a relationship. But would that spark an interest in Lily? Certainly not. She wasn't the type to chase after someone, who was taken, not to mention one, who had been annoying her for years. No, she was just befriending him now that he wasn't pining after her, seeing as they were in the same friendship circles. We were all spending more time together, the girls and the Marauders. And as Marlene, Alice and I were starting to get along more with the boys, so was Lily. It was bound to happen that we all grew closer. If anything, it was a good thing.

I relaxed a bit at that conclusion, smiling slightly as they laughed quite loudly at something James said. Back then, when I was obsessing more over other people's relationships (since I had none of my own), I always thought they would get along really well if James hadn't been chasing her in his boisterous and overly-done way. Him, with his wild and goofy nature that would dare her to many adventures, and her, who would be able to tame him and not take it too far, keeping him on the ground. 

+A perfect friendship. 

A perfect relationship.

My smile faded and I turned around. Despite myself, I didn't dare to reveal my feelings to the boy on that day.

Neither did I on the following days that turned to weeks until we reached the end of the spring and the world slowly turned warmer in the first days of the summer with a turn from April to May. Everything was as normal as it could get when you were friends with the Marauders. Classes were the same, Quidditch practices were the same, we had won the last game against Ravenclaw and were now on first place to win the Cup as long as Slytherin lost against Hufflepuff (which was quite unlikely, but nobody tell James). The Marauders pulled their usual pranks, although they were more tamed than in their previous years and less directed at us girls. James and I were still going to strong...yet none of us had said the l-word even though we had been together for almost eight months by now. And although Marlene kept reassuring me that it was normal for boys to take longer in their admittance for love, all the romantic books that I'd read throughout my teenage years stated otherwise. We should have long since reached that stage to proclaim our love for each other, shouldn't we? Hell, James proclaimed his love for Lily everyday for years ever since he saw her and they weren't even together. It shouldn't be hard for him to realise whether he loved me or not.

This fueled my insecurities more each day that passed without a confession, which caused me to keep my mouth shut about my own feelings, too. Instead I found myself frequently catching James and Lily alone, deep in conversation, whenever I was looking for him after he went missing on all of us. Either at the library, where I had never seen him go as often as now and on his own will, too, or outside at the courtyard or on the Hogwarts grounds with her sitting in the shade of a tree and him dangling from a branch above her, grinning down at her as she laughed whenever his glasses slipped askew from his upside down position. It was practically a picture ripped from the pages of a romance novel. And the burning feeling in my chest would continue.

"Lily and James are getting along pretty well, aren't they?" I commented off-handedly one day. Marlene, Alice and I were sat in the library together, studying for the upcoming exams with Lily having gone to fetch more books. Alice tensed up slightly, her eyes flashing from me to her book whilst Marlene looked up, shrugging nonchalantly. "Guess so. Now that he is not annoying her anymore."

"Right. Good thing," I said, nodding along to her words. Needless to say it was relieving to see that she had the same thoughts as me about this. An expert like her would have caught on if there was something more to their sudden closeness, right? Nonetheless I looked over at Alice, who suddenly seemed very busy with scribbling something down on her parchment. Alice, who out of the three of us was the closest to Lily and who would likely know exactly what was going on. "What do you think, Alice?" I asked her bluntly as she didn't seem to want to join the conversation on her own.

Startled, she looked up and I gave her a tight-lipped smile as I awaited her answer. "Eh, yes. They seem to get along better than before. At least, Lily is not yelling her head off anymore every time she sees him," she replied, laughing albeit nervously. Just then, the aforementioned girl headed back towards our table with four books stacked in her arms. I gnawed on my lip, wondering how to ease the constriction in my chest that had been my constant companion for a while now with the ongoing uncertainty.

"Hey Lily, are you dating someone?" I asked her as she sat down. Her books promptly landed on the table with a bang as she had slackened her grip on them in surprise. I cringed slightly at the glare thrown at us from Madam Pince and Lily mouthed a silent 'sorry' at her.

"What? Why do you ask?" she coughed slightly, glancing at the other girls, who had looked up in interest now.

I shrugged. "Just wondering. You are pretty and someone ought to have to courage to ask you out, now that James is not holding anyone back from it," I laughed slightly at the end, hoping to dissolve the suddenly awkward atmosphere that appeared at my statement.

"She's right, Lils," Marlene thankfully butted in, blissfully unaware, "You are the only single among us and you've been for a while. It's time to get some!" Lily went beet red, reaching over to smack her on the arm as we all snickered slightly. "Jesus, Marlene. That's so inappropiate!"

"What? It's true! You are the only single among us. And someone is bound to have asked you out lately! Right?" the brown-haired beauty pressed on and I had never been more grateful for her noisiness than now.

Lily grumbled under her breath, hesitating slightly before she gave in, "Maybe. Some Ravenclaw perhaps." Our eyes widened and Marlene squealed as quietly as she could. "I'm not interested though!" she quickly added at our excited looks, deflating my relief, "Now drop it. We are here to study." And with that, she successfully ended the topic.

Later at night I met up with James at the Astronomy Tower, our usual spot when we wanted to hang out after curfew. "Hey, how was your day?" he greeted me warmly as I sat down next to him at the edge of the tower, resting my arms against the railing. A cool breezed rushed throughout the tower and James quickly scooted closer to wrap his arms around me before I even started to shiver and I smiled at his sweet gesture.

"Quite well. Studied a lot. And you?"

"Quite well. Pranked a lot," he mimicked, grinning when I laughed slightly. "Which poor soul did you harrass this time?" I asked, resting the side of my head against my arms as I listened attentively to him recounting each prank with great detail, his arm leaving me once in a while to emphasize something but never failing to come back around me. "Sounds like you had a lot of fun today...," I remarked when he ended and he nodded with a beaming grin, "...and when did you study?" His beam deflated into a pout, causing my shoulders to shake in silent laughter.

"I don't need to study," he grumbled nudging me. "Sure, you don't." I nudged him back, slipping to the side and almost under the railing when he nudged me slightly harder. He quickly grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back towards him. "Sorry about that," he apologised embarrassed and I giggled slightly, resting against him. "Don't worry, I don't mind this at all," I replied, snuggling my head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tightly towards him. "Mhmm, I'm sure you don't," he chuckled into my hair, his lips grazing slightly against my earlobe and causing me to shiver. I could feel his smile as he deliberatly brushed against my ear again and I squirmed slightly, burying my red face in his chest. "Why so shy all of a sudden?" he teased and I stifled a gasp as he playfully nibbed at my ear. "I'm not shy," I protested, voice muffled. "Is that so?" He tried to back away but I tightened my arms around his waist, firmly keeping my face planted against his chest. "Yes!"

He laughed lightly, promptly dropping on his back and pulling me on top of him. I adjusted my position, placing a leg on each side of his hips and resting my ear on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "I could stay like this for a long while," James commented with a blissful sigh as he wrapped his robes around me for warmth. I raised my head to shoot him a smile and he grinned back at me softly. Craning my neck I placed a kiss against his jaw, unable to resist the urge. He quickly pulled me further up, rising up slightly to capture my mouth with his and my eyes fluttered shut as he held the back of my head, his fingers grasping my hair. I fisted his shirt, a swarm of butterflies causing a wreckage in my stomach as he molded his lips against mine, his tongue peeking out to run across my lower lip when a sudden noise erupted somewhere close.

I pulled away quickly. "Did you hear that?" I asked breathlessly as I looked up.

"Hear you moan for me?" James tugged me back down by the neck. "Not yet," he whispered huskily against my mouth. My eyes widened in surprise, heart pounding against my ribcage at his words. He nipped at my lip with his teeth playfully before fully placing his lips against mine again until I almost forgot what had interrupted us in the first place. But the fear of getting caught outside of curfew broke me out of my daze once more. "Seriously, James," I whispered breathlessly, looking up to squint at the doorway, "I think someone's down there. They might come up." James groaned, tugging at my shirt. "No ones down there."

"And what was that noise? What if we get caught?" I asked, sitting up.

"Probably gonna get detenti- uff," he hissed and I glanced down at him to see him holding his breath. "What's wrong...?" I questioned when I realised I had sat up directly on his groin. 

Oh. 

"Oh, Cec," he breathed out as his eyes darkened, "You really shouldn't have done that." He shot up, crashing his lips against mine before I could get another word out, his hand coming up to entangle in my hair as his other arm wound tightly around my waist, pulling me flush against him. A small moan escaped me when his sudden movement caused his hips to grind against mine as I sat securely between his torso and his slightly raised knees. "There is my moan," he smirked against my lips and I could have sworn my heart stopped at this devilish sight. Breathing out shakily, I took his face between my hands, seeing his eyes soften slightly before I tilted my head to deepen the kiss, unable to restrain myself in any way. He reciprocated eagerly, his hand fisting in my hair as our tongues clashed together. I moved slightly against him, a flash of excitement coursing through me when I heard his breath hitch. "Fuck, Cec," he groaned in my mouth and my eyes almost rolled back in pleasure at the mere sound. He reached down to grasp my thigh tightly, pulling me closer and I gasped against his mouth. His thumb stroke softly over my skin, smiling at the goosebumps erupting everywhere. He let his hand travel up until he reached the end of my skirt. "Can I?" he asked without detaching his lips once and I nodded, resisting the urge to moan when he dug his fingers in the exposed flesh under my skirt. "James," I breathed out as I broke away for air, feeling him shiver. His mouth trailed down to my neck, nibbling on it as I tangled my hand in his hair, his own letting go of my waist and reaching up to undo the buttons of my shirt-

"James and Cec sitting in a tree," an all to familiar voice reached our ears and my eyes snapped open. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" James halted his movements, burying his face in my neck with a groan.

"First comes love!" Sirius sang joyfully as he appeared by the doorway, a piece of parchment in one hand and his wind lit up at the tip in the other. "Then comes marr-holy shit!" His eyes widened slightly at our disheveled figures but his smirk came back as soon as it had disappeared. "My my, first come the babies it seems with you two!"

"Fucking hell, Sirius!" James cursed, turning around to glare at his best mate.

"Hi Prongs!" Sirius greeted innocently, waving his parchment.

"Worst timing ever, mate!" I buried my face in my hand in embarrassment, wondering if our compromising position would go unnoticed if I pretended that it wasn't compromising.

"Sorry Prongsie, your babymaking has to wait. We've got a little something going on tonight," Sirius said, not sounding sorry at all as he nodded outside. I peeked a glance between my fingers to see James' eyes widen under his slightly askew glasses. Glancing over my shoulder I caught sight of the full moon, partially obscured by a few clouds.

"Right, give us a minute please," James requested and Sirius disappeared down the stairs again. His hazel eyes appeared startingly lighter under the shine of the full moon as he grasped my hips softly with both hands. "I've got to go," he said quietly and the atmosphere seemed suddenly serene in contrast to a minute ago.

"That's okay," I replied as quietly, adjusting his glasses once again and he smiled that sweet smile, that one damn sweet smile only reserved for his loved ones and my mouth opened before I could stop myself, "James, I l-"

"Prongs! Hurry up already!" Sirius cut me off from down the stairs. James huffed, rolling his eyes at his mate.

"I'm sorry. I really gotta go," he said and I nodded quickly, scrambling to get up and off him. He adjusted his clothes before stepping closer, giving me a sweet kiss. "Good night, love," he said softly as he fastened up the buttons he had undone on my shirt, "I will see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. Good night."

Unbeknownst to him, to Sirius and to me, Sirius had just saved me from committing the biggest mistake tonight. Twice.

Chapter Eleven

[moonlightserenadeeznutz]

luna for the headcanons thing pls pls pls

Yes!!! I love giving Luna headcanons, so here ya go bestie!

(Read under cut)

Luna Lovegood headcanons

First of all, definitely a trans girl, no doubt about that. She lived in a very open environment and was able to explore her gender identity at a young age. Her mother sewed her dresses to wear, long, flowing garments that Luna thought were the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. Her father taught her how to make flower crowns and crowns of leaves, and she’d wear them with her dresses.

She didn’t have to come out to her parents. Her femininity at a young age simply led to her simply stating that she was a girl, and that her name was Luna. Her parents were very accepting (and Xenophilius is trans himself because fuck you of course he is, so he was super supportive of Luna).

She named herself after the moon because her parents loved astrology and they taught her all the different planets and their moons, and all the different stars in the sky and how to spot the constellations.

The Lovegoods were definitely pagan, I mean they were all about nature and spirituality. They always marked every single holiday, staying up all night on the solstices, lighting huge bonfires, and making wreaths to wear. Pandora played the lyre, Xenophilius sang songs and Luna would act out stories and poems.

Cornish, and they speak the language as well because being bilingual is sexy.

Speaking of pagan, Pandora’s funeral would have also been pagan, obviously.

She’d have a natural burial, and Luna would recite a poem, and the rest of the family would also give eulogies, recite poetry, or thank the Goddess. Four members- including Xenophilius and Luna- would stand at each point on the compass and “invoke” each element (Air in the East, Fire in the South, Water in the West and Earth in the North) and give thanks to them. There would also be music at the wake, played by members of the family. Drums, tambourines, flutes etc. Luna played her mother’s favourite song on her lyre.

When she reached Hogwarts, I don’t think she was drawn to anyone in particular right away, I think she had better relationships with the teachers more than the students. She got on really well with Professor Sprout, and I think Hagrid really liked her too, because they’d talk about all the different magical creatures together, and Luna would tell him about all the creatures her and her father wrote about in the Quibbler.

Academically, she was very smart, and did well in most of her classes, but she didn’t particularly find a lot of them overtly interesting to her, unless she was able to put her own twist to it, which usually she wasn’t. In Potions, she wasn’t able to brew her own stuff, make up recipes, or use a variation of the recipe. Snape was much too strict with her and as a result, she didn’t do very well, which made her more upset than she would let on since she had been really good at potions at home.

She particularly shone in third year, since she was able to take classes more suited to her, like Astrology and Divination. Astrology was her favourite of course, and she’d talk about it all the time with Ginny.

However, in third year she also became particularly interested in DADA, mainly because she formed a strong friendship with Professor Lupin. Remus had been informed that Luna was trans, and since he is as well, they had things in common, and were able to talk about it with each other, Remus sort of taking Luna under his wing a little. They’d sit in his office and drink tea and Luna would give him copies of the Quibbler, which he’d happily read.

Luna was actually the first to figure out that Remus was a werewolf, but she didn’t tell anyone, not even him. She didn’t think it was her secret to share, nor did she think it changed anything. But she did find it fascinating, and read a lot of books on lycanthropy. After Remus had left, Luna told him that she knew and she asked if she could write some articles about it in the Quibbler, to raise awareness, or if he’d like to write any articles. Remus agreed to let her write something, and she wrote a three page article about werewolf inequality (but careful not to mention Remus by name). She did interview him about it, and he said that he was proud of being a werewolf, that it was actually very cool at times, but that it was simply wizarding society that had forced him to be ashamed. She wrote all this down, and it became the most bought copy of the Quibbler, as lots of students at Hogwarts wanted to read it, and they shared it with their friends and parents. So despite Remus not being able to come back to Hogwarts as a teacher, he did receive tons of letters in support of him from parents and students who had read the article and put two and two together.

Friends with Ginny by third year! Luna actually took a while to warm up to Ginny, thinking she was this loud, athletic, snobbish type, but then Luna got to know her and realised that she wasn’t that at all. Ginny was loud, but in a contagious laughter sort of way, and she could be very quiet and calm when she wanted to. She was athletic, but chatted animatedly about Quidditch teams, and Luna couldn’t help but listen. And she wasn’t snobbish, quite the opposite. She was the only person who listened to Luna, and discussed her ideas rather than swat them away impatiently. Luna made Ginny flower crowns, and Ginny stayed up with her all night during solstices. They became very close.

Ginny was the first student at Hogwarts that Luna told about being trans, and Ginny came out to her as being bisexual. And they were very supportive of each other, as well as being great at keeping each other’s secrets. They trusted each other with their lives, and would always stand up for the other. If Luna was getting picked on, Ginny would go feral and start fights. Although she eventually stopped, since it made Luna more upset. So she stuck to just being there for Luna (and maybe slipping a potion into bullies’ morning pumpkin juice that made them cluck like a chicken. But Luna didn’t need to know about that...)

That being said, Luna could get angry too of course. When she heard an older girl make fun of Ginny behind Ginny’s back, Luna wordlessly went up to her turned the girl’s hair blue with a wave of her wand. Ginny laughed her head off when she found out.

It was through Luna’s bond with Ginny, that she realised that she wasn’t interested in either the romantic or sexual side of relationships. At first she assumed that it was because Ginny was a girl, and she may not be attracted to girls, but it got her thinking about boys too, about everyone. And she just didn’t want that sort of relationship with anyone. She loved her platonic relationship with Ginny, and that’s how she wanted all of her relationships to be like.

I feel like she also had a close bond with Neville, and they gave each other plants as birthday gifts.

Projecting a little bit here, but Luna with Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder, spending hours by herself making up fantasies and constructing worlds in her head, making up new characters, and getting so invested in them that she regularly saw herself as her characters. I feel like this started because of the trauma from losing her mother. She didn’t tell anyone about it, or at least nothing in detail, but she tried to explain it a bit to Ginny, who knew to leave her alone when Luna would sit by herself.

MaD also made Luna a little more detached from her gender identity, especially if she was acting as one of her characters (again I’m projecting here) who were either male or genderless. She still identified as female, but in a much more looser, fluid way, and even experimented with she/they pronouns, which she eventually decided she liked. (If this were set in the modern world, I can also imagine her using neopronouns such as xe/xer or fae/faeself, though in the canon world, she may have also tried out it/its).

Doesn’t know much about the muggle world, but Hermione gave them a copy of Alice In Wonderland which they loved. And if I were to headcanon Luna liking a muggle band/artist they’d probably like anything psychedelic or nature-like, maybe the early stuff of Pink Floyd (yes, Dev, I’m thinking about Atom Heart Mother).

Went travelling after Hogwarts, where she met Rolf Scamander, and they hit it off immediately. Very similar to each other, and soon became close friends. I also headcanon Rolf as aro/ace so their relationship basically became like Luna’s and Ginny’s.

Their house was filled with all sorts of plants and animals. Rooms were lined with trees filled with Bowtruckles, and owls flitted in and out of windows, cats slinking about the place, so many frogs. My god, their house was wonderful.

Adopted Lorcan and Lysander because ffs not everyone has to have a nuclear family jkr 🙄. And parents also don’t have to be romantically or sexually involved with each other either; Luna and Rolf had a good relationship, both wanted to be parents, so they raised the twin boys together. And Lorcan and Lysander had a fantastic childhood, can you imAGINE?!

Godmother of Lily Luna, obviously. And Harry and Ginny’s kids loved going round Luna’s place, so more often than not, the house was filled with not only the entire natural world, but also a bunch of children running about the place.

Oh also, Luna has nymph ancestors. They just do, okay?